# Pls help me understand my son's depersonalisation



## man0305 (May 14, 2009)

I have a 32 year old son who's had depersonalisation for a long time and I struggle to understand it. I'd really like to hear from other suffers to help me understand the impact it has on his life. Could you help me answer some, or all, of the following:

- What does it feel like to be in a depersonalised state?
- How does it impact your daily and working life?
- How does it affect your relationships?
- Do you feel you get the support you need from your family and what is that support?
- Do you understand why you have depersonalisation?

Plus anything else you think might give me an insight. I can't help but feel frustrated watching his life pass by without him being able to reach out and enjoy it more.

Thank you for your help.
Ben


----------



## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

man0305 said:


> I have a 32 year old son who's had depersonalisation for a long time and I struggle to understand it. I'd really like to hear from other suffers to help me understand the impact it has on his life. Could you help me answer some, or all, of the following:
> 
> - What does it feel like to be in a depersonalised state?
> - How does it impact your daily and working life?
> ...


1. It feels like you're not real. You may watch yourself do things and wonder how your body is doing it. You feel like there's a distance from your body and "you" or your conscious mind's eye. It's as if your spirit and body aren't exactly lined up together properly. You may often wonder how you got places or how you did things as you don't feel like you were in control of your body. You might also feel like you're always on the verge of insanity.

2. It can effect you in many ways. One way is concentration. It may dampen your ability to concentrate on certain tasks as your mind is pre-occupied with feeling disconnected. You may not be able to find enjoyment in things as you can't seem to feel emotions. You may feel nothing at all when you should feel sad, happy, or angry. This can be difficult in situations where you actually need to feel those things but you can't. It can effect how you react.

3. You might feel like you know you love someone or that they love you, but you can't feel it. Not being able to feel love is very painful. It might hurt your ability to be able to express feelings. Your significant other might think you don't care about things when you do, you're just unable to express it.

4. It's tough because unless you have it, you really can't understand it, even if it's explained to you. Although support from the family is appreciated, it may not be that helpful. Support from other sufferers can be very encouraging. The best way to help someone who suffers is to give them lots of love.

5. Depersonalization can be caused by several different things. Understanding why you have it could be the first step to recovery. It may be caused by head injury, induced by drug use, anxiety, or ... there are likely other reasons I can't think of.

You might refer him to this site. There have been a few people who have recovered and there's a lot of useful information here. Recovery is possible, and all the members here will gladly try to provide support and tips to help beat dp.


----------



## pwrinkle (Mar 30, 2009)

First let me say thank you so much(on your sons' behalf) for not only going so far as to truly listen to him but to do some research of your own just so you can "wrap your head" around it. A lot of people,I'm no exception, will hear something like "Oh well,your just stressed/depressed" get yourself some more rest and maybe start some exercising, from their families or friends. And I myself can't really blame their thought process. Look at how many commercials tell you that your life is so fast paced, and look at how many medications are for sale right on your tv that will give you more pep or will calm you down etc,etc,etc. So a person's first thought is to jump to good old depression. But make no mistake, if DP is truly what your son is suffering(and trust me it is hell) thru then just be the ear and shoulder for him because I've heard a lot of stories of folks who just needed to really blow off some steam on a regular basis. And I know you'll want to ask him in so many ways to describe what he's feeling to you and he won't be able to, this is where you must not get offended because it's not because your not intelligent enough to understand it, it's just that it would kind of be like you having to give a text book example of what love is and how it feels and everyone would agree with you. Love him, encourage him, and just stand beside him. I truly wish you and your son the best of days ahead.


----------



## Guest (May 16, 2009)

You feel like you are constantly high on marijuana, 24/7.


----------



## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

eduEDU1 said:


> You feel like you are constantly high on marijuana, 24/7.


That is, all the negative effects and none of the good.


----------



## Guest (May 16, 2009)

Conjurus said:


> eduEDU1 said:
> 
> 
> > You feel like you are constantly high on marijuana, 24/7.
> ...


EXACTLY, I should have added that.


----------



## man0305 (May 14, 2009)

Thank you to all of you.

My Son's DP seems to be as a result of panic and he believes it came from a very young age. In fact he had an experience in therapy which lead him and his therapist to believe that his mother was post natally depressed which caused the initial trauma. Have any of you heard of this before?

Also he says that when he breaks through the panic/DP a whole world of emotional pain sits beneath it. He's had several emotional outbursts. He describes this as progress to overcoming his panic/DP condition as he's starting to unearth the buried emotions. Have any of you experienced this?


----------



## Guest (May 21, 2009)

man0305 said:


> Also he says that when he breaks through the panic/DP a whole world of emotional pain sits beneath it. He's had several emotional outbursts. He describes this as progress to overcoming his panic/DP condition as he's starting to unearth the buried emotions. Have any of you experienced this?


I havent experienced this probably because Im not recovering yet. But he is most likely right. One of the big symptoms of DP is it cuts you of from feeling your emotions as your brains defense mechanism, so if he is starting to experience his emotions again that could be a very good sign that he IS recovering. :wink:


----------



## Guest (May 22, 2009)

How come none of you has mentioned the testicle thing? You know the testicles-swelling-to-the-size-of-grapefruits thing? Don't tell me I'm the only one with that. Oh God.


----------



## Guest (May 22, 2009)

Brain Candy said:


> How come none of you has mentioned the testicle thing? You know the testicles-swelling-to-the-size-of-grapefruits thing? Don't tell me I'm the only one with that. Oh God.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: sounds like you need a _RELEASE._ :lol: :lol:


----------

