# After Four Years..



## MrEggsalad (Oct 2, 2008)

Four years ago if you had asked me about ever being "normal" again and cured I would have told you "No way, I'll always be like this" and would have ended it then and there, however, I did begin to see improvement and today I would call myself cured (no need for medications or therapy.)

Four years ago I was still in high school, and I would struggle doing what shouldn't even be that difficult, going through that medical hell of figuring out what drugs do what and just how can I ever become normal again. My path to success started when I went to get talk therapy and medications to help me out. What actually may help you could be very different, but for myself having someone to talk to plus Xanax, Risperdal, and Zoloft helped me a ton. It was actually just this past summer when I took my last daily pill ever for DPD.

The road is incredibly lengthy and can really suck at times, but I feel that the medications gave me a crutch to restructure my life thanks to talk therapy and learn how to handle situations in a better way. Back then, my high school GPA ended up as a 3.4 as easy classes gave me the A's, but anything that required true thought just was horrible (D or F). After going through all this (you can check out my previous posts, or even the majority of what people seem to experience sums it up nicely) now I am a Sophomore at the University of Cincinnati and am studying Neuroscience with a GPA of 4.0, as well as working and doing plenty of research.

I won't lie though, although I have gotten better, every now and then I will experience intense stress, or like recently sleeping just does not work. I feel the sleeping is more my own issue and not DP as I just simply never have been able to sleep well, and about three times since ending treatment I have taken some Xanax to help me out. Other than that, I do not smoke, drink, or do drugs, which I feel is rather important to recovery. DP already has you in an altered state, and especially alcohol, if done heavily and often I feel can promote this in different ways.

Family has said "Oh, we now have the old you back!" and my grades and accomplishments are stellar. Currently I'm even in the top 5% of students in my class. Because of DP, I found exactly what I wanted to do in life (research Neuroscience) and it gave me purpose. I'm not saying the road isn't long and hard, or that mine was even that bad (I know some who have had 10+ years, feel so sorry for them) but for me, just restructuring my life and accepting therapy helped me get back on the right track and on the road to recovery.

There is always hope, even if you don't feel like it right now, and trust me I didn't either, but maybe hearing it from someone who went through a similar deal as you did will give you the strength to keep moving on.

I should note that very recently I discovered why all of my symptoms seemed to suggest more than DP (I was over anxious, depressed, had emotional swings, and a true hated for people.) I looked up Borderline Personality Disorder, and really feel that is what my overall condition was, although certainly DP is not normally presented in that and that is one aspect I do not experience anymore.

I hope my post gives strength to others and helps them get on the right path, I have seen others also come out of it, and now after being off regular medication for about 9 months, I really do feel I am cured. You can get through this, but you just have to allow yourself to know there is an end to it and you will get better, this mindset is incredibly important.

Any questions about anything I went through I'll answer, or anything I'm looking at now too. My research I hope to find a basic framework in how the brain works relating to personality, which then could be taken to quickly fix any kind of psychiatric issue.


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## daDman (Dec 4, 2011)

this was encouraging. thanks for writing


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

really important post.


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## LogLady (Oct 17, 2011)

Thanks so much for posting. I predict I'll be on the other side here soon. I always tell myself that when I'm fully recovered all of this will be worth something and I'll make it mean something. The changes to my character and perspective have been astronomical. It's going to be tough to figure out what I want to do because so much has changed but I'll find something that fits with the reformed me. This whole thing has sparked my interest in health sciences as well. I graduated in economics and sociology in 2010 after being dped for about a year, and I had originally planned to go into urban planning and social research, but I'm actually taking pre-med, public health, and counseling classes now. Crazy times.


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