# Depersonalization Caused By Marijuana?



## mattcity (Jun 2, 2013)

I think I am expierencing depersonalization. Everything seems to check out.

It all started when I decided to smoke marijuana after me being sober for a few weeks. I smoked a lot that day, and I was planning on to get extremely high. I really wanted to relax. But, then when it started to hit me. I felt really disoriented. I started to feel really nauseous, and I threw up about 3 times, and I started to feel better a little bit. I just couldn't stand the smell of the smoke anymore. Right after I threw up I started to see bright lights, and I felt like I was entering a white room. Then I couldn't hear for 30 seconds, and I could only see the bright lights. But then it died down after a while. I shrugged it off like it wasn't that big of a deal. But then I sat back down with my friends and I started to feel like I was in a dream state. That I wasn't there with my friends, and I was in a movie. They felt like hallucinations, and I kept saying to myself that they are real. After that day everything started to feel like a dream.

I was stressing out one night, and I couldn't get any sleep. It felt like my eyes were closed but I wouldn't go into deep sleep. LIke i was still awake. Soon I notcided that my brain started to feel different. My thoughts were all gone, and that there was a lot of pressure on my brain. My brain felt really weird, and that no thoughts came to my head. If I thought of something I would soon forget it after a minute unless I really focused on it. I now have the worst memory ever, and I can't remember anything in detail. I can't think of words to say. everything feels different. Life feels like it's different and that people's conversations have changed. I feel cut off from the world. This is scaring me. I can't communicate with my family that much. I tell them what is wrong but they just say I'll get over it. I'm stuck in this world. I feel my life changed after I smoked that one day. When i was stressing I thought that the symptoms of it was brain fog. But, It seems like I'm having this brain fog forever, and that won't ever go away. This has been going on for a week now. It hurts to think, and I can't have any intelligent thoughts anymore. waking up everyday is a struggle. I can't go to the doctors cause my parents wont let me. I've tried alternatives to getting rid of brain fog, and they have not worked. I have the worst memory ever, and this is scaring me. I can't socialize with my friends anymore. I can only say "yeah... cool" and laugh. I feel like I have lost my emotions, and that i am in this dream state that i can't get out of. I've tried cutting caffiene but that didn't seem to help. I stopped smoking as well but that did not seem to help at all. I've wanted to get rid of this feeling, and that the feeling can only go away by me killing myself. I hope that there are people out there with the same thing that I have. I don't feel the same way anymore. I miss how I was, I used to have a really nice personality but I feel like I don't have one anymore and I lost my old self. i'm always dizzy, and I feel a lot of people hate me now. I really want to talk to people the same way I did. It feels like all my emotions and thoughts were sucked out of me and my brain has gone to mush. My breathing pattern is terrible, and my eyes hurt when I try to focus on something. I want to know if I marijuana caused me to become depersonalized and the stress combined.

I just wish this would end and i could go back to the same old me.


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## eiji850 (Jun 29, 2010)

hey man i feel the same way i also would get very dizzy do u ever feel like u are walking on a boat? if u wanna chat more email me at [email protected] i always check that at work alrighty much love man


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## ladybugs212 (Jun 21, 2013)

Mine was caused by laced(pcp) marijuana.. I took only 3 puffs and that 3rd puff set off the drealization ,heart arrythmias, and so many othr things... I now have what's called dysautonomia(autonomic nervous system dysfunction) the brain receptors are all out of whack and controls eveything in the body... I tried ssri's and nothing worked .. I'm getting worse . I feel and look like I just smoked cause I get so exhausted ... I feel like I'm stuck in a dream and can't go places that iwould love to go to... I feel like nothing is real to me and then I get panicky... this all started from this crap and I didn't even know it was lace.... I'm 32 and can't live a normal life... this is incurable for me


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## sean.russell001 (Jun 23, 2013)

Matt, ladybugs I just want to say that I suffered with horrific DP/DR after eating a pot brownie. At times I didn't know if I would ever be the same again. It is now 3 years later and I can confidently say I am 100% cured and better than before. It took me years and by the second year I was pretty much back but there were remaining effects off and on until the third year but now its all gone.

Just stay strong and stay positive. One thing that I can promise you is that when you get through this you will be incredibly strong and will see the world different and better than everyone else. You will be able to do anything. I am new to the forum and plan on sharing my story here shortly. Feel free to ask me any questions.


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## mattcity (Jun 2, 2013)

sean, It feels like it won't ever go away. I started to feel better but then it just got worse a few weeks after. It's just feels like my brain is screwed up and it takes a lot of energy for me to think now.


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