# I am feeling like I have a different form of DP than most people on here.



## MiketheAlien

Hey everyone,

I am feeling that I may be dealing with something different than most people on here. Years and years ago I had major anxiety and panic attacks that lead me in and out of the emergency room. For the past year and a half I havent had any anxiety, panic attacks, or fear at all. It seems to me like the vast majority of people on here are dealing with anxiety and anxiety related symptoms, at least thats what I read from most threads, or answers to threads. Its just anxiety, just calm down, dont think about it, dont fixate, get on with your life, ect ect. I must admit I am doing better physically these days since I started exercising, eating right and sleeping well, but my mind still feels broken. I have no anxiety, no fear, not much of anything at all. I go out, I shop, I try to socialize, I have work and school coming up, I pretty much live "normally" but I still feel depersonalized. I really like all the positive thinking threads and "get out of the rut your in" threads but I seem to have done this for almost 2 years now, with only physical improvements, which is fantastic, but I dont feel like I am living my own life, I dont feel like I am experiencing my own life. It is something like a purgatory. I am getting to the point where I feel like I cannot keep living like this, I have tried vitamins, supplements, and alternative approaches with little noticeable success. I was on anti-depressants for 4 years , and have been off of them for about 2 years now. I felt like a zombie on them, they made me fat, and I really didnt like them. I am getting very desperate in wanting to feel and enjoy life again. I am thinking of trying medications again, perhaps not the same anti-depressant, but something similar. I just needed to type all of this out today, I hope I didnt offend anyone or sound too ignorant. If anyone has any information on personal experiences with medications, please let me know. I am well aware of the meds threads and wiki articles on different ones, but I would love to hear personal experiences. Anyways, you are pretty rad if you took the time to read this, stay well and take care,


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## Guest

Have you tried any type of therapy?


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## Guest

Still sounds like DP, it´s the same thing as most have on this forum. The hollow feeling will pass when it fades.


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## MiketheAlien

Philos said:


> Have you tried any type of therapy?


i have tried group therapy which helped a bit with some areas of my life but much for the DP symptoms.


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## MiketheAlien

Yoshiki said:


> "I try to socialize"
> 
> What do you mean by "try" ?
> 
> Could you elaborate on that for me ?


I try to socialize when I am out doing things. I socialize at school, at work. I try to talk to strangers while I am in line in the grocery store, neighbors, people out biking near me, ect ect. I also socialize with a few friends who dont drink, smoke, or do drugs, all things I used to have an addiction with years ago. I dont socialize by going to bars, pubs, facebook, ect.


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## MiketheAlien

odysseus said:


> Still sounds like DP, it´s the same thing as most have on this forum. The hollow feeling will pass when it fades.


Has it faded for you? Is there any advice you could share? I greatly appreciate it


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## tmarrow

Hey! I often have the same feeling too--my DP experiences have striking similarities to many others, but there are a lot of things about me that are specific as well. I think that this is a highly personal and variable disorder (although, all mental illnesses might be that way...)

I have a good amount of experience with meds. Right now, I just take klonopin (0.5mg) as needed which is just an anxiolytic (makes one feel calm and reduces anxiety/tension). I have been on several SSRIs and have found them to work for me--I responded well to Lexapro and had few side effects. Just be cautious when you start taking them. Start on a low dose and work up to it; it can be a shock to the brain (and also watch your own cognitions and moods for drastic changes, as sometimes these drugs can have a negative effect). I have been going through a long period of intense DP and recently saw a psychiatrist. He was very good and (surprisingly) informed on DP. We even traded info on recent studies and medical units that study this disorder! (He knew much more than I did, but I held my own). I can't remember the specific medications that he said showed some promise for the disorder. All I know is that there is something called "Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation" that one peer-reviewed study showed can alleviate DP (link to study: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165178110005305). Basically, (from what I know--I am working on a PhD in psychology, but not in the clinical domain) it stimulates relevant areas of the brain from the outside using electromagnetic waves (completely safe).

Ultimately, I say this only to indicate that there is hope. I would highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist (and it is imperative you find a good one you are comfortable with) and getting their input. We can only get so far on our own, and what others can know or do for us can be surprising. Best.


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## Guest

Vanmichael said:


> Has it faded for you? Is there any advice you could share? I greatly appreciate it


Yes, it´s faded. I can experience myself again. You write like you function well, keep up the good work with staying away from drugs etc. When I felt like a zombie I used to try to forget myself. To be yourself is to forget yourself, you know... Try to stay active and the flat feeling may lift. Sorry for the thin advice.

The only medication that worked for me was Zopiclone/Imovane. It took the edge off DP. I ate tiny pieces of a pill throughout the day to not fall asleep.


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## missjess

yhes I have this kind of dp too...its unbearable and has lead me to have anhedonia as I cannot derrive any joy or pleasure from life at all. everything feels the exact same and I have no social interest even if i am socializing


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## MiketheAlien

missjess said:


> yhes I have this kind of dp too...its unbearable and has lead me to have anhedonia as I cannot derrive any joy or pleasure from life at all. everything feels the exact same and I have no social interest even if i am socializing


Oh god I know exactly what you mean. What a horrible curse we have. I just recently heard about Anhedonia, I am pretty sure I am dealing with it. Ugh, i am so tired of sounding so negative hahah. In these desperate times I think I might try medications to feel my life again. I wish you all the best in your fight


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## missjess

Vanmichael said:


> Oh god I know exactly what you mean. What a horrible curse we have. I just recently heard about Anhedonia, I am pretty sure I am dealing with it. Ugh, i am so tired of sounding so negative hahah. In these desperate times I think I might try medications to feel my life again. I wish you all the best in your fight


omg i just noticed ur from canada too!! so many dpd ppl in canada lol ...i speak with an awesome french canadian who has dp also from this site.....yes u shud try some sort of medication everything about dp is horrible i dunno i just cant handle the disorder anymore ive lost all coping strategies not to mention the anhedonia!!!


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## MiketheAlien

missjess said:


> omg i just noticed ur from canada too!! so many dpd ppl in canada lol ...i speak with an awesome french canadian who has dp also from this site.....yes u shud try some sort of medication everything about dp is horrible i dunno i just cant handle the disorder anymore ive lost all coping strategies not to mention the anhedonia!!!


Haha I thought I noticed a lot of Canadians on here. With all the reading on this site and my googling powers, I think I might try Wellbutrin and perhaps Lamotrigine. I was on an SSRI a few years ago for different reasons and all it did was make me fat and zombified. I have since lost all the weight and gotten myself very healthy physically so I am really afraid of messing up that progress. Anyways, I will be sure to post update if I have any luck.


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## missjess

haha yeah theres a few ive noticed!!

hmmm interesting let me know how u go with both of those....what is wellbutrin used for? is anti depressant?

yeh thats y i hesitate to try drugs...im looking into trying kappa antagonist drugs atm tho


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## sunshinita

Are there any antidepressants that don't cause weight gain? I have been on 4 different and I always get fat,so annoying.Both SSRI and SNRI-fat every time!


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## Keratitis

missjess said:


> yhes I have this kind of dp too...its unbearable and has lead me to have anhedonia as I cannot derrive any joy or pleasure from life at all. everything feels the exact same and I have no social interest even if i am socializing


I seriously wanted to thank you for making me discover the term anhedonia... I don't know why, but thanks. ^_^ That's exactly what I needed to find as a term the other day in a conversation.. ^_^

Hey, VanMicheal, hope things get better  I guess I'm rad then, but if you need help, you can always pm me  I have tricks, but only for specified moments... so I couldn't help you all around as of now..  Just tell me hypotetically a situation and I'll find an answer, I can assure you that.

Sorry for all the smileys...


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## MiketheAlien

sunshinita said:


> Are there any antidepressants that don't cause weight gain? I have been on 4 different and I always get fat,so annoying.Both SSRI and SNRI-fat every time!


Haha yeah I know what you mean, I gained to much weight while I was on Cipralex SSRI. It took me the last year and a half to get back into shape. I am looking into trying Wellbutrin, It is not an SSRI, I think it targets Dopamine instead of Serotonin. From what I have heard it is also used for weight loss. Anyways, heres hoping it works out, I will post back if I decide to go on it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bupropion


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## MiketheAlien

Keratitis said:


> I seriously wanted to thank you for making me discover the term anhedonia... I don't know why, but thanks. ^_^ That's exactly what I needed to find as a term the other day in a conversation.. ^_^
> 
> Hey, VanMicheal, hope things get better  I guess I'm rad then, but if you need help, you can always pm me  I have tricks, but only for specified moments... so I couldn't help you all around as of now..  Just tell me hypotetically a situation and I'll find an answer, I can assure you that.
> 
> Sorry for all the smileys...


More smileys the merrier! Thanks for the wonderful support, I really appreciate it.


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## sunshinita

I was on Cipralex once too and immediately gained 20 lbs in a month,now I am on Effexor and gained weight again. Unfortunatelly there is no Wellbutrin in my country ( Bulgaria ).I will stick with Effexor for now and watch my eating more


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## missjess

sunshinita said:


> Are there any antidepressants that don't cause weight gain? I have been on 4 different and I always get fat,so annoying.Both SSRI and SNRI-fat every time!


I can give u the link to a great anti depressant product but it depends what ur using it for ...only depression or anxiety too? if only for depression then I recommend getting Colloidal Gold by mesogold in the US u only take 1 teaspoon a day and ur depression will disappear and it gives u a bit of energy too unlike anti depressant medication. I felt a feeling of well being and euphoria when taking it


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## missjess

here is the link:

http://www.purestcolloids.com/mesogold.php


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