# I cannot live with this anymore



## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

I've been into hospital recently. IM taking remeron and Tamazepam but my thought dissociation is worse than ever. I think i am better and i have a day of constant panic attacks and i think what is the point in going on like this. It is terrifying me that ive felt like this for 4 years and ive gotten worse. I dont see a life for myself like this and in all honesty i do want to die. IM tired of all the bullshit.


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## kappahull (Feb 19, 2011)

hi, go back to dr maybe ur meds are makeing it worse , do you have anyone you can talk to at all . its a very difficult thing to discribe to anyone tho isnt it ..... was you ok before you went into hospital ? sorry im not being much use to you xxx


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## 2yrsOn (Apr 3, 2011)

Hi ya mate, Thought id write a bit about my dp maybe it will help.
I got dp around 2 yrs ago i was a mess, Was on medication that spaced me out so bad.
I ws like a zombie 24/7.
I was so scared about going out, when i went to the doctors i nearly had a panic attack in the waiting room then when i saw the doctor i couldnt stop shaking.
Anyways after 8 months i stopped taking my pills ( dont just do it like i did its very dangerous ) 
And very slowly i started doing thigs i would usually do.
I read a chapter once i cant remember its exact words but all it meant was
If you can go just 5 seconds a day without thinking about dp at all thats 5 seconds healing time.
Try cleaning out your fridge, cuboards anything.
I wouldnt recommend reading as your eyes may start blurring which will bring on a panic attack.

Also you shouldnt try this unless you are your as it will bring on dp but i did it to help me get use to the feeling and control it better.

Sit on a chair bed ect with both feet on the floor,
Hold something small in your hand and really think about its shape size ect for 15 seconds
After the 15 seconds open your eyes and you will have dp for around 10 seconds
DONT panic it soulds daft but i tried to enjoy it.

You have got to laugh at it i veen spoke to mine a few times like its a mate ( yes i am crazy lol )

Keep saying you dont bother me.. People pay good money to feel like this..
Hope this helps.


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

It's the day to day hell. The way my life is now because of this. I miss having a normal life. What it's done to my family and the way it has destroyed their happiness, the way i know in my heart that my life is not and will not be what i wanted it to be. The fact im 23 and feel like this, the fact i've missed out on the best years of my life. the way its taken away a belief in God i held very strongly too. I just can't take it anymore.


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

Bosko said:


> It's the day to day hell. The way my life is now because of this. I miss having a normal life. What it's done to my family and the way it has destroyed their happiness, the way i know in my heart that my life is not and will not be what i wanted it to be. The fact im 23 and feel like this, the fact i've missed out on the best years of my life. the way its taken away a belief in God i held very strongly too. I just can't take it anymore.


sorry brotha that you have to live like this. just so you know im in the same boat as you.. I feel the pain everyday, and I usually want to just die and end it all. Its hard but you cant give up. im not good at givin advice, but keep ya head up bro, im with ya..!


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

I honestly cannot go on another day. I dont want to go back into hospital it never helps, the pills and everything its like they don tknow what they are doing with me. I feel like im genuinely at the end with this, the thoughts and the feelign trapped inside this body is too much for me.


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## kappahull (Feb 19, 2011)

Bosko said:


> I honestly cannot go on another day. I dont want to go back into hospital it never helps, the pills and everything its like they don tknow what they are doing with me. I feel like im genuinely at the end with this, the thoughts and the feelign trapped inside this body is too much for me.


what do u mean u cant go on ? what u gona do ? do you have a partner or sm1 you can talk to properly ? i know not many ppl understand dp even we dont do we ..... i like painting , my pets help me also and having a laugh . what makes you laugh ? x


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## Piano66 (Apr 6, 2011)

[email protected]
Send an e mail to Glen Russel. He will work with you through Skype, but he works on basis of donation.
Also get yourself a book called The Healing Cide by Alex Loyd. You may want ti check reviews on amazon.com first.
It will bring you peace I can promise.
Of course, the above is from personal experience.
good luck,
Vesna


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

I've never felt so depersonalised and on top of the thought thing i suffer with its too much. its so fucked, i cant explain it.


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## 2yrsOn (Apr 3, 2011)

Listen to me..
Im 22 and ive had this since i was 19/20.
It does get better mate.
Your letting it take over your life. The 1st year of me having dp i was the same as u, I just couldnt be bothered to open my eyes let alone live.

I know this soudns really harsh but u need to suck it up and get on.
You have two choices,
Live like this and never actually live.
Or get up brush yourself down and start a fresh.
Im not saying its going to be easy but its well worth it.

The first thing that mae me change was something i read a while ago.

If you can go just 5 seconds without thinking about dp thats 5 seconds healing time.
Its true i barely think about it anymore.

Certain things wont help like looking for answers.
I can tell you now you will not find answers online, on here for from any doctor, U need to cure urself mate.
Because your so nervous and depressed you brain wont fix because it needs its safety guard to keep you safe otherwise you'd end up dead from a heart attack most likily.

I know this is hard mate i really do i wish i could help you and do it for you but i cant u just need topull ur finger out and get on with it.

Lifes for living. 
If you cant do it for yourself do it for your family

My parents was gutted i knew they cried alot over it.

JUST START LIVING.

Go random things right now right after reading this go 
jump on ur bed,
Throw some ham at a wall lol
go run around the garden
But what ever you do dont sit here reading tis sit.
Honestly it just makes it worse.
If you ever need to talk mate im here.


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## kappahull (Feb 19, 2011)

2yrsOn said:


> Listen to me..
> Im 22 and ive had this since i was 19/20.
> It does get better mate.
> Your letting it take over your life. The 1st year of me having dp i was the same as u, I just couldnt be bothered to open my eyes let alone live.
> ...


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## kappahull (Feb 19, 2011)

like it , not easy but il give this a try , you made me smile x


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## kaitlyn_b (Jun 9, 2010)

Bosko listen to the advice given here.its clear you are highly depressed because of your conditon. I was right where you are. I saw no end in sight, even the thoughy of killing myself didnt help. The fact that you WANT to get better and that you WANT to live shows that you are not in the midst of psychosis and that its something much more simple. Like maybe that spiritual connection you once had....why is it gone? Did you ever wonder if maybe your faith and spirituality was being tested? Bosko all im saying is make a choice to take your life back. Stop festering in this garbage and feeding the enemy. It will get better just make it through the minute, hour, day, week and so on. Eventually you wont think much about dp. I beat it bosko. After 1 year I feel better than ever. The first 6 months of this I was awful...every second I was being tortured every minute was sheer hell. I just stopped paying attention to it and it was very hard....i didnt believe anyone. Now I feel good. I hardly think about dp anymore. Let it GO. Take care of your mind, body and spirit and you will just heal in time. Take the advice


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