# Why I thank this disorder



## DevonMM (Jul 7, 2010)

Have become so emotionally numb. Death implies an end of happiness/sadness that I don't experience and because of that it doesn't scare me... so I've been able to look at death, as well as life almost completely objectively

I've lost most of my attachment to humans as a species

We reproduce, we consume resources to seek pleasure, and we die

We create Gods to justify our existence, and in some cases our actions

We paint beautiful paintings, for recognition and self satisfaction.. Not because were beautiful

If that's the case, how can I appreciate the painting?? I could be envious and in awe of the skill it took to create but, those two things are nothing spectacular or beautiful in this case

What amazes me is that we came from ...being molecules in the dirt.. to that painting

So I guess what I appreciate is life

Life, on a broad spectrum, has no provable or known point.

But life is at least meant to sustain itself.. That's why we all feel pain and pleasure

and it fascinates me

Humans.. We don't have the tendencies of other forms of life.. We're not in harmony with nature,

however, we have a capacity to cultivate life that no other species has because we're so advanced.. But unfortunately, most of our pleasure is gained by consuming...

You could say I've lost attachment because of what we are, but value the species for it's potential

I'm also human

So I had to realize that I'm not objective in this situation.. and find my own place

I did this by figuring out what we do

---- reproduce, survive, and seek pleasure

... and drawing my own conclusions on what I was supposed to be doing based on that

the only logical conclusion was ---- we survive, by seeking pleasure, to reproduce

So to me, happiness is important and all, but it's just a means to conceiving, if not nurturing my kid

I've come to live by that. Everything pales in comparison to the importance of my kid, and the next generation in general

I think our species would once again become worthy of my attachment if we all lived by that idea... That's unlikely to happen, but I'm abnormally good at daydreaming these days

I don't think I would have ever come to think like this with a bunch happiness, sadness, and ego in my way


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2010)

Well said!~

I also thank this disorder in some ways. Without it I would still be an Atheist & a Pothead. I liked how you mentioned that society is F*cked Up. (See my signature








)


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## Space Addict (Dec 5, 2006)

I wouldnt say we are advanced lol. We are the only creature on this planet stupid enough to destroy ourselves. Hello? DP has taught me non attachment to many things as well except my boyfriend whom i still feel i cant live without.


DevonMM said:


> Have become so emotionally numb. Death implies an end of happiness/sadness that I don't experience and because of that it doesn't scare me... so I've been able to look at death, as well as life almost completely objectively
> 
> I've lost most of my attachment to humans as a species
> 
> ...


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## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

you dont experience happiness/sadness? you are describing nirvana lol. i swear this site is full of people who are enlightened and are all pissed about it lulz. Everyones like im not real but i wanna be again lulz.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

sunyata samsara said:


> you dont experience happiness/sadness? you are describing nirvana lol. i swear this site is full of people who are enlightened and are all pissed about it lulz. Everyones like im not real but i wanna be again lulz.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nirvana - "The word literally means "blowing out" - referring, in the Hindu context, to the supreme state free of suffering and individual existence, and in the Buddhist context, to the blowing out of the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion"

"free of ...individual existence"? &#8230; Humm &#8230; sound like death to me. I want/like life ... don't care for being blown out.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

*but value the species for it's potential*

Well said! It is our potential to strive for &#8230; the status quo just doesn't cut it (whether people are 'healthy' or otherwise).

Keep up the daydreaming - ideals are born from it.


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## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

Visual Dude said:


> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nirvana - "The word literally means "blowing out" - referring, in the Hindu context, to the supreme state free of suffering and individual existence, and in the Buddhist context, to the blowing out of the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion"
> 
> "free of ...individual existence"? &#8230; Humm &#8230; sound like death to me. I want/like life ... don't care for being blown out.


Scroll down a little and read under Nirvana in Buddhism it explains it better than the top. "It is the "end of the world;" there is no identity left and no boundaries for the mind." "Described by the Buddha as "deathlessness".


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

sunyata samsara said:


> Scroll down a little and read under Nirvana in Buddhism it explains it better than the top. "It is the "end of the world;" there is no identity left and no boundaries for the mind." "Described by the Buddha as "deathlessness".


A few more questions,

"deathlessness" - the end of reincarnation (cycle of rebirth)? Of course if you are dead (don't exist) then death no longer has meaning.

"no identity left" - still sounds like death

"blissful ego-lessness" - is this the ego-death that some seek?

How can loss of ego ("sense of individual existence" or "I") result in bliss ("state of profound satisfaction, happiness and joy, a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss")?

How can loss of individuality result in happiness and joy? Happiness and joy are emotions involving self.


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## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

Visual Dude said:


> A few more questions,
> 
> "deathlessness" - the end of reincarnation (cycle of rebirth)? Of course if you are dead (don't exist) then death no longer has meaning.
> 
> ...


yes. i think it is the highest egoless state. i think DP is like a halfway point and DP/DR is deeper still. i can tell you what the bliss feels like before transcending the body but i never went past it, im sure it gets unbelievable. i had a kundalini awakening over a decade ago. Imagine getting the electric chair but the energy is pure bliss. It feels like you are literally exploding with bliss and your spine is a lightning bolt. In that state was also EXTREME DP/DR. How can loss of ego result in bliss? Because consciousness has become unfiltered and not filtered by ego. You experience so much energy that it is experienced as bliss.

I imagine the highest enlightenment is like becoming infinite energy that is conscious and is experienced as bliss. Kind of like fire is hot and lights the area around it. I think it is one with nothingness, cosmologists say if you add up all positive and negative energy in existence it adds up to zero. Ive read books on the concept of zero and they explain that zero and infinity are one and the same. I think that is the natural state or awake state and everything else are its dreams. I think people with DP and DR are kind of waking up as in realizing some of the truth like when we have lucid dreams. Will you wake up after this dream or go into another one? Buddha literally means awake.

People talk about experiencing anxiety on here, that is caused by focusing on samsara aka the world which is the product of suffering. Anxiety can also be caused by unleashing unconscious energy, it is experienced as anxiety because you cannot understand it. I think thats why everyone hates it on here, we have DP and are being conscious of the unconscious to various degrees and it is experienced as anxiety. Ive read alot about enlightenment and Ive heard it explained as being conscious of the unconscious.

Back to the experience i had long ago, at first it was just bliss and i knew what was happening so i decided to put my unfiltered consciousness on the only thing worthy of it which was the OM, boy did i get what i wanted but i swear it traumatized me. So i heard the OM and it sounded like the entire universe was an engine, yeah kinda loud. The experience of it seemed like infinite terror but i didnt mind it since i was experiencing what seemed like infinite bliss.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I also experienced infinite bliss, 3 weeks before DP. Now I have been DP for over 4 years. The way I experience DP is the complete opposite of infinite bliss. For me being DP is being unawake.

I think what is happening is there is one term that is being used to describe two completely (polar opposite) different experiences. One is depersonalization through extreme bliss (a better word would be enlightenment). I also experienced this and at the the time would say that there was no "me"... but that's because "I" was connected to everything that is. The depersonalization I speak of now is the complete opposite. There is no connection to anything whatsoever. Everything is completely fragmented and disconnected. There is no bliss. It is pure suffering, pure hell.


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## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

nirvana said:


> I also experienced infinite bliss, 3 weeks before DP. Now I have been DP for over 4 years. The way I experience DP is the complete opposite of infinite bliss. For me being DP is being unawake.
> 
> I think what is happening is there is one term that is being used to describe two completely (polar opposite) different experiences. One is depersonalization through extreme bliss (a better word would be enlightenment). I also experienced this and at the the time would say that there was no "me"... but that's because "I" was connected to everything that is. The depersonalization I speak of now is the complete opposite. There is no connection to anything whatsoever. Everything is completely fragmented and disconnected. There is no bliss. It is pure suffering, pure hell.


I see what your saying and it seems like you are right in saying its the opposite of enlightenment. Even still i think it is close to enlightenment even though its the opposite. Hell i think DP can even be called enlightenment depending on what you consider enlightenment. Is it the highest enlightenment? Definitely not but i think it is close, you maybe thinking how come people arent getting enlightened with DP, i think thats because they think its a disorder and are afraid of it. Like i said i heard enlightenment described as being conscious of the unconscious and you say you feel unawake which sounds like your unconscious is kind of overtaking your conscious instead of the other way around, which is similar. I think the bliss is caused by being totally aware of your nervous system which can only happen when the filter of ego is gone and then such an intensity of energy of experience causes bliss.


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