# DP & Pregnancy/Parenthood



## KowgurrlKK (Aug 11, 2010)

I don't really know where to start...
My DP come on the month after I graduated from High School, I was busy working full time, working on several projects for our county fair, worrying about my boyfriend going off to college and me staying home... etc etc etc. I just woke up one morning and BAM, my life had changed. I felt terribly disconnected from reality, and myself. I've noticed that a lot of people who suffer from DP suffer after taking some kind of drug. This was not so in my case, I have never touched a drug in my life besides alcohol. I never worried a day in my life until my father passed away when I was nine years old, and now 16 years later, I still worry everyday about SOMETHING.
Okay, so that first episode I had, it was impossible for me to work for a couple days, and once I did go back I just really felt like I was nutso. I felt like I was in a bad dream, people didn't seem real, driving didn't seem real (which could have been hazardous) Nothing felt real. After a few days I finally sought medical attention. Because I hadn't seen a doctor in several years for anything severe, I didn't have a doctor other than my pediatrician But I was 18 now, and it was time to find a doctor. So I saw the nurse practitioner my mom had been seeing. She did all kinds of tests to rule out anything major, and finally prescribed an anti-anxiety medication for me (Xanax). After a few days that seemed to help a little for a couple weeks. But then the feeling was back. Next I began Effexor, which helped tremendously. For the last couple of years I have experienced bouts of DP here are there. Sometimes they last a couple of days, sometimes a couple of weeks, and once it lasted for 3 months. Thankfully, I am NOT experiencing DP right now, but just came off a pretty terrible 3 week episode. When I suffer from it, I'm completely frustrated, agitated, and upset. I have a WONDERFUL husband that constantly reassures me I will get better. I'm just afraid that one day, DP will set in, and I will live with it for the rest of my life.
Does anyone else have "bouts" of DP, but don't suffer from it every single day of your self? Like I say, when it sets in I will suffer for several weeks usually, but then it goes away for a good 6 months or so. Anyone relate?

Okay, so... my husband and I would REALLY like to start trying to have a child. But I want to make sure I have my DP as under control as possible before that happens. Has anyone suffered from DP BEFORE they had any kids, and then it gets tremendously worse (and/or BETTER???? *crosses fingers*) once you have a child?
Thank you in advance for your help, I am so incredibly thankful to have finally found this website.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I got dp after having all of my kids, so I cannot tell you that it makes it easier. I can tell you that there is a member on here who went through pregnancy with dp and said that the pregnancy eased her symptoms. There is also a girl on here who had dp and upon finding out about her pregnancy, it went away.

I think both of these people have DPD though, not episodic dp. It sounds to me that you need to learn to control your dp episodes. I know that sounds insane but I had a short episode of dp before I got dpd. It lasted a week and a half and then I went back to normal for a few weeks. Right before I got dpd, I started having like 30 second long dp episodes and I was able to take control and stop them. Sadly, I took some medication that pushed me back into dp land.


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## KowgurrlKK (Aug 11, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> I got dp after having all of my kids, so I cannot tell you that it makes it easier. I can tell you that there is a member on here who went through pregnancy with dp and said that the pregnancy eased her symptoms. There is also a girl on here who had dp and upon finding out about her pregnancy, it went away.
> 
> I think both of these people have DPD though, not episodic dp. It sounds to me that you need to learn to control your dp episodes. I know that sounds insane but I had a short episode of dp before I got dpd. It lasted a week and a half and then I went back to normal for a few weeks. Right before I got dpd, I started having like 30 second long dp episodes and I was able to take control and stop them. Sadly, I took some medication that pushed me back into dp land.


How bad has DP affected your ability to take care of your children? I just read a post on here where a woman had to completely move away from her young children b/c of her DP. Also, do you know if there are many people on here with episodic DP? Thank you very much for your post!


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

KowgurrlKK said:


> Also, do you know if there are many people on here with episodic DP?


Episodic DPer checking in. I've heard others mention theirs comes and goes. Statisically speaking it 's constant for 2/3rds.


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## Carrie (Jun 10, 2010)

KowgurrlKK said:


> How bad has DP affected your ability to take care of your children? I just read a post on here where a woman had to completely move away from her young children b/c of her DP. Also, do you know if there are many people on here with episodic DP? Thank you very much for your post!


I'm only 19, but I've already started asking that question. I guess the best way to answer you is just to tell you to evaluate yourself. How bad are you "disabled" when you have an episode? I think we lose confidence in ourselves after we get DP and that's part of the reason we get our doubts about major life changes (like having a baby). I've always had babysitting jobs and even after I got my DP, I was able to continue babysitting - and I think a part of it was that babies and children keep me distracted from myself - they keep me out of my own head - and that's a good thing when you have DP.

As for my own DP - I'm episodic, but it's been a while since I actually had an episode. Zoloft is good. And my episodes were normally 2-3 hour occurrence that would happen on a daily basis.


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## KowgurrlKK (Aug 11, 2010)

Carrie said:


> I'm only 19, but I've already started asking that question. I guess the best way to answer you is just to tell you to evaluate yourself. How bad are you "disabled" when you have an episode? I think we lose confidence in ourselves after we get DP and that's part of the reason we get our doubts about major life changes (like having a baby). I've always had babysitting jobs and even after I got my DP, I was able to continue babysitting - and I think a part of it was that babies and children keep me distracted from myself - they keep me out of my own head - and that's a good thing when you have DP.
> 
> As for my own DP - I'm episodic, but it's been a while since I actually had an episode. Zoloft is good. And my episodes were normally 2-3 hour occurrence that would happen on a daily basis.


Thank you for responding Carrie! I really think what I'm most afraid of is slipping into an episode (which mine last much longer than 2-3 hours, more like 3-6 weeks) and not being able to come out of it b/c of the stress of a child??


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

KowgurrlKK said:


> How bad has DP affected your ability to take care of your children? I just read a post on here where a woman had to completely move away from her young children b/c of her DP. Also, do you know if there are many people on here with episodic DP? Thank you very much for your post!


That post was about me. When I first got dp I couldn't get out of bed for 4 months. We had to hire a nanny to take care of the kids and I only saw them maybe 20 minutes a day. Then my husband's abuse became intollerable and I had to move away. So I lived apart from my kids for a few months. Now I have them 12 hours a day and it still is more than I can handle. The stress they cause is just too much coupled with the dp. It isn't because I don't love them. I do love them very much. It's just that everything else that goes along with parenting is completely overwhelming with the dp.

Also, I have Chronic Depersonalization. I have it 24/7 and it never goes away.


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## veredavid (May 6, 2007)

Hi,

I can very much relate to your description of DP coming and going or at the least the level of it. 
The first time I experienced DP it was for 12 hours, it came back 6 months later and lasted for 3 or 4 weeks and 2 years after that it hit hard and lasted for year or so, in the last episode after coping with it for 4 months I started taking medications till this day.
Few months ago I stared reducing the use of medications and DP was back...it was heart breaking after 5 years of silence, and hopefully it is now drifting away again.
What I wanted to write you is that I have 3 daughters, 6, 4 and 3 months old, having them was the best decision I made in my life.
Your concern is very reasonable and most likely natural for any person that is considering parenthood, for us it is DP for others it can be endless scenarios. 
Until now DP has not been an obstacle for my parenting and I hope this will always be the case, however I can never be sure what the future will be like and still I would not give up on parenting. 
One thing is for sure, I could not have done this without my (lovely) wife, as ustabetinyfairypeople wrote there are a lot of overwhelming parts in parenting and DP and going through this alone sounds like next to impossible task, I think that ustabetinyfairypeople is a remarkable person that has despite everything has not given up on parenting.

Regards,
David.


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