# If someone asks you what DP/DR feels like....



## Fromhollandwithlove

Let them read the following post:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/advice-from-the-dissociat_b_6037380

For me personally i'v never read such an accurate representation of how I feel 24/7. Explaining the feeling is close to impossible but this woman seemed to narrow it down pretty well.

*The text is as follows:*

Do me a favor. Imagine having cotton balls stuffed in your ears. Now imagine your skin sensitivity being half of what it normally is; like you're made of plastic. Now, bite into an apple and imagine the intensity of the taste being decreased, like your tongue has forgotten how to taste. You close your eyes and struggle to distinguish what you taste as an apple.

Now think about where you feel is your body's "center." Where in your body do you identify as your core sense of self? Most people will point to the spot between the lungs, above the belly and bellow the chest. Or perhaps they identify their "self" as the place over their heart - but not you. You identify your "center" as the spot between your eyes. In fact, you are your eyes. And that is it. You are the space inside your head. You look out your eyes like they are the windows and your head is a room you are trapped inside of. You look out your eyes and down at your body to see that your body isn't actually yours at all. You are not this body. It belongs to another person; you are just a mind observing it. Do your best to picture this perception.

Due to this observational perspective of the body (in contrast with an inhabiting or acting perspective), you are hyper-self-conscious. You are overly self-aware. You observe yourself moving and behaving; washing "your body" in the shower, talking to people, writing an essay, and you feel as if the movement of your body is on autopilot. The circuit between "you" and your body's motion is broken, and you feel robotic.

Now look at your surroundings. Imagine some almighty force were to suck the life out of everything, similar to the way the light would leave someone's eyes as they pass. The world around you loses its brightness and softness. Everything is flat, dull, and unfamiliar. Things sparkle less, cars lose their glossy finish, trees sway lifelessly, and you are left with a strange shell of the life you once knew. Sometimes when you look at someone's face, things blur and sway. The mechanics of their facial structure are subtly altered, almost comparable to when everything in a room as been moved an inch to one side and for some reason becomes unsettling. People begin to look like aliens to you; even your loved ones. What is a person really? Sometimes you stare at the back of your hands trying to figure it out. This brings me to my next point.

On top of all of this, imagine you are high. You are on a different level than everyone else. You feel a different vibe. This is constant, from the second you wake up to the second you fall asleep, and as you sleep I assume as well. Sometimes you come down and sober up for maybe 30 seconds. This happens once or twice a month, and because you aren't used to this sober perception it is perceived similarly to a hallucination. The cotton momentarily leaves your ears, shadows are magnified and shapes transform to become three dimensional for a moment before returning to a dull state once again.

Now, imagine what it means to become your mind. Your identification with your body and your world is lost, and your mind is all you have left. This is where obsessive thinking begins. You are hyper aware of every thought that crosses your mind. No thought goes unnoticed by your consciousness. As you read these words, focus carefully on how they sound in your mind. Sound the words out in your mind and hear them clearly in your head. Now turn up the volume so these words are the forefront of everything. Your thoughts are louder than all the sounds around you by tenfold. Now imagine these thoughts could not contain spaces between them. The gap is always filled with a word or sound. Even when you try to meditate the space between thoughts is filled with words, sounds, frustration, and mental exertion. Sometimes if you try and meditate, closing your eyes sends your mind spiraling. You end up talking yourself in circles. Think back to the last time you couldn't fall asleep because you were thinking anxiously, going over something again and again. Quadruple this mental noise and that is how your mind now works 24/7.

Now imagine your chest physically cannot expand. Take the tiniest breath possible in through your nose, and stop. This is all you can physically breathe no matter how hard you try. Take this perception in. This is a dissociative disorder, depersonalization/derealization to be exact, and this happens to people.

Picture living your life, maybe as a college student, and thinking everyone felt this way. Other people seem to be at ease, and you think maybe you're just high strung. Other people don't question what their reality is, and you think maybe you're just too curious. Other people are not self-conscious as they observe themselves socializing; maybe you're just shy. Yet all the time there is this looming unknown question you can't shake; this feeling that something isn't quite right. Until one day you look in the mirror and suddenly, you wake up from a dream. This happens to people, and this happened to me.


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## Chip1021

Wow. I know a lot of people on this forum have varied experiences, but this is an exceptionally well-written description that I can certainly relate to. Thank you for sharing.


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## Aridity

Rot toch op joh, gek.


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## Aridity

All jokes a side, this has to be one of the most accurate description as to how DP/DR feels to me.


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## Chip1021

Aridity said:


> Rot toch op joh, gek.


I don't get the joke, lol.


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## Aridity

Chip1021 said:


> I don't get the joke, lol.


Haha I am sorry, it's in Dutch.


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## Chip1021

Aridity said:


> Haha I am sorry, it's in Dutch.


Oh, lol. I was thinking it was...well I don't know what I was even thinking


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## Aridity

Chip1021 said:


> Oh, lol. I was thinking it was...well I don't know what I was even thinking


Hmm blank mind? haha. Sounds familliar.


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## forestx5

I have read material which identified my symptoms very accurately. The material then proposed solutions to my predicament. That's when it all fell apart.

I had to go back and read it over gain, asking myself "where did the promised solution go?"

Just because someone can repeat your unique and odd symptoms, doesn't mean they really understand them or have any clue as to how to help you cope with them.

Snake oil salesmen have to be able to identify your symptoms, in order to convince you they understand your problem on the way to convincing you the oil they have

will cure you. People get desperate for a cure, and they want to believe that help is available.

Look at how Televangelists sell salvation to the insecure, fearful of death. Send $10 and I will send you the pamphlet which explains

how you may receive eternal life. If I sell enough pamphlets, I can buy that personal jet airplane that god promised me.


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## alnadine20

I found this on the internet in my early years of having dp and when I first read it I thought the same....very accurate. Dp is hard to describe to someone who doesn’t have it. Even the person experiencing has a hard time what’s happening to them and is hard to describe or put into words so this description did help me relate to what was happening to me when I first got it


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## James_80

That's one of the most accurate descriptions I've seen. Good find. It's hard to convey how it really feels to have DP. It takes a skilled use of analogy and vivid description.


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## Phantasm

I might move this thread to the Start Here section at a later date as it needs more threads for newcomers with descriptions people can relate to, and I think this is good one.


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## LRD123

To start off with, I have labrinythitis.. I've had it since the end of June this year shortly a few weeks after I had my son. I believe I have DPDR after a lot of searching on the internet and no doctors being able to figure out whats wrong with me.. apparently nothing is wrong with my eyes, my eye exam is fine and nothing is wrong with my brain because the MRI came back clear. They originally thought migraine but none of the weird vision disturbances come and go, they are constant. Anyways, in July, I started getting a sort of tunnel vision which freaked me out. A couple weeks later I noticed static in my vision.. like everything is covered in static. Things just look odd almost dream like, almost like I was in a trance. Just really strange and hard to describe to anyone.

Symptoms:

-spaced out

-things don't feel real

-feel like I am floating

-no connection to anything

-extreme anxiety and panic constantly

-worried about my health(obsessive googling)

-body feels hollow and heavy

-nauseous, dizzy, light headed, feel like I'm going to pass out all the time

-buzzing in ears

-eyes feel tired.. feel like there is a plastic film over my eyes

-body feels weak, all I want to do is sleep(wake up shaking and scared all hours of the night)

-bad vivid dreams every night

-flickering vision, static vision

-objects appear to sway side to side and up and down

-tunnel like vision

-blurry vision

-colors are dull

-everything looks like its zoomed in, like everything is closing in on me

-vision seems to move in frames if that makes sense

-feel like I'm going blind

-talking to people freaks me out and feels strange

I'm just really scared and I don't know what to do anymore.. I feel so depressed and scared and panicky.. literally feel like I'm going blind and going to die at any moment. Although all tests say otherwise. I have a three year old daughter and an almost 5 month old son. I'm on Lexapro 10mg for depression/anxiety.. my primary care doctor concluded that my problems are all caused by anxiety including my vision. I've been on the medication for about a month and am seeing little to no improvement. I feel so helpless and hopeless.. just want my life back and want to know when this will end if it ever will.


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## yoloking123

I just tried to get my mom to read this to understand somewhat of what i go through every day and she told me no but i told her if you dont read it, ill read it to you and i did. She told me “why do you go on the internet looking at stuff like this just to make you feel worse” I told her going on this site does not affect how i feel. Goes to show, my mom will never understand my suffering or thinks im just making it up or some shit and thats ok, i accept that. I rarely come on this site in the first place.


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## RedLanterns

I don't have good experience with talking to people I have a hard time talking about my feelings with people I am very introvert and extrovert I dont like people because a lot have wronged me so I try to keep my distance from people in the morning and get more extrovert during the day


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## endure

Absolutely excellent description, I don't know how anyone could put it any better.


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## Essy2711

Fromhollandwithlove said:


> Let them read the following post:
> 
> Advice from the Dissociated Part 1: A Peek at the Depersonalized Perception
> 
> For me personally i'v never read such an accurate representation of how I feel 24/7. Explaining the feeling is close to impossible but this woman seemed to narrow it down pretty well.
> 
> *The text is as follows:*
> 
> Do me a favor. Imagine having cotton balls stuffed in your ears. Now imagine your skin sensitivity being half of what it normally is; like you're made of plastic. Now, bite into an apple and imagine the intensity of the taste being decreased, like your tongue has forgotten how to taste. You close your eyes and struggle to distinguish what you taste as an apple.
> 
> Now think about where you feel is your body's "center." Where in your body do you identify as your core sense of self? Most people will point to the spot between the lungs, above the belly and bellow the chest. Or perhaps they identify their "self" as the place over their heart - but not you. You identify your "center" as the spot between your eyes. In fact, you are your eyes. And that is it. You are the space inside your head. You look out your eyes like they are the windows and your head is a room you are trapped inside of. You look out your eyes and down at your body to see that your body isn't actually yours at all. You are not this body. It belongs to another person; you are just a mind observing it. Do your best to picture this perception.
> 
> Due to this observational perspective of the body (in contrast with an inhabiting or acting perspective), you are hyper-self-conscious. You are overly self-aware. You observe yourself moving and behaving; washing "your body" in the shower, talking to people, writing an essay, and you feel as if the movement of your body is on autopilot. The circuit between "you" and your body's motion is broken, and you feel robotic.
> 
> Now look at your surroundings. Imagine some almighty force were to suck the life out of everything, similar to the way the light would leave someone's eyes as they pass. The world around you loses its brightness and softness. Everything is flat, dull, and unfamiliar. Things sparkle less, cars lose their glossy finish, trees sway lifelessly, and you are left with a strange shell of the life you once knew. Sometimes when you look at someone's face, things blur and sway. The mechanics of their facial structure are subtly altered, almost comparable to when everything in a room as been moved an inch to one side and for some reason becomes unsettling. People begin to look like aliens to you; even your loved ones. What is a person really? Sometimes you stare at the back of your hands trying to figure it out. This brings me to my next point.
> 
> On top of all of this, imagine you are high. You are on a different level than everyone else. You feel a different vibe. This is constant, from the second you wake up to the second you fall asleep, and as you sleep I assume as well. Sometimes you come down and sober up for maybe 30 seconds. This happens once or twice a month, and because you aren't used to this sober perception it is perceived similarly to a hallucination. The cotton momentarily leaves your ears, shadows are magnified and shapes transform to become three dimensional for a moment before returning to a dull state once again.
> 
> Now, imagine what it means to become your mind. Your identification with your body and your world is lost, and your mind is all you have left. This is where obsessive thinking begins. You are hyper aware of every thought that crosses your mind. No thought goes unnoticed by your consciousness. As you read these words, focus carefully on how they sound in your mind. Sound the words out in your mind and hear them clearly in your head. Now turn up the volume so these words are the forefront of everything. Your thoughts are louder than all the sounds around you by tenfold. Now imagine these thoughts could not contain spaces between them. The gap is always filled with a word or sound. Even when you try to meditate the space between thoughts is filled with words, sounds, frustration, and mental exertion. Sometimes if you try and meditate, closing your eyes sends your mind spiraling. You end up talking yourself in circles. Think back to the last time you couldn't fall asleep because you were thinking anxiously, going over something again and again. Quadruple this mental noise and that is how your mind now works 24/7.
> 
> Now imagine your chest physically cannot expand. Take the tiniest breath possible in through your nose, and stop. This is all you can physically breathe no matter how hard you try. Take this perception in. This is a dissociative disorder, depersonalization/derealization to be exact, and this happens to people.
> 
> Picture living your life, maybe as a college student, and thinking everyone felt this way. Other people seem to be at ease, and you think maybe you're just high strung. Other people don't question what their reality is, and you think maybe you're just too curious. Other people are not self-conscious as they observe themselves socializing; maybe you're just shy. Yet all the time there is this looming unknown question you can't shake; this feeling that something isn't quite right. Until one day you look in the mirror and suddenly, you wake up from a dream. This happens to people, and this happened to me.





Aridity said:


> Rot toch op joh, gek.


haha, meen je dit?? dit is niet gek it is real


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## Essy2711

Fromhollandwithlove said:


> Let them read the following post:
> 
> Advice from the Dissociated Part 1: A Peek at the Depersonalized Perception
> 
> For me personally i'v never read such an accurate representation of how I feel 24/7. Explaining the feeling is close to impossible but this woman seemed to narrow it down pretty well.
> 
> *The text is as follows:*
> 
> Do me a favor. Imagine having cotton balls stuffed in your ears. Now imagine your skin sensitivity being half of what it normally is; like you're made of plastic. Now, bite into an apple and imagine the intensity of the taste being decreased, like your tongue has forgotten how to taste. You close your eyes and struggle to distinguish what you taste as an apple.
> 
> Now think about where you feel is your body's "center." Where in your body do you identify as your core sense of self? Most people will point to the spot between the lungs, above the belly and bellow the chest. Or perhaps they identify their "self" as the place over their heart - but not you. You identify your "center" as the spot between your eyes. In fact, you are your eyes. And that is it. You are the space inside your head. You look out your eyes like they are the windows and your head is a room you are trapped inside of. You look out your eyes and down at your body to see that your body isn't actually yours at all. You are not this body. It belongs to another person; you are just a mind observing it. Do your best to picture this perception.
> 
> Due to this observational perspective of the body (in contrast with an inhabiting or acting perspective), you are hyper-self-conscious. You are overly self-aware. You observe yourself moving and behaving; washing "your body" in the shower, talking to people, writing an essay, and you feel as if the movement of your body is on autopilot. The circuit between "you" and your body's motion is broken, and you feel robotic.
> 
> Now look at your surroundings. Imagine some almighty force were to suck the life out of everything, similar to the way the light would leave someone's eyes as they pass. The world around you loses its brightness and softness. Everything is flat, dull, and unfamiliar. Things sparkle less, cars lose their glossy finish, trees sway lifelessly, and you are left with a strange shell of the life you once knew. Sometimes when you look at someone's face, things blur and sway. The mechanics of their facial structure are subtly altered, almost comparable to when everything in a room as been moved an inch to one side and for some reason becomes unsettling. People begin to look like aliens to you; even your loved ones. What is a person really? Sometimes you stare at the back of your hands trying to figure it out. This brings me to my next point.
> 
> On top of all of this, imagine you are high. You are on a different level than everyone else. You feel a different vibe. This is constant, from the second you wake up to the second you fall asleep, and as you sleep I assume as well. Sometimes you come down and sober up for maybe 30 seconds. This happens once or twice a month, and because you aren't used to this sober perception it is perceived similarly to a hallucination. The cotton momentarily leaves your ears, shadows are magnified and shapes transform to become three dimensional for a moment before returning to a dull state once again.
> 
> Now, imagine what it means to become your mind. Your identification with your body and your world is lost, and your mind is all you have left. This is where obsessive thinking begins. You are hyper aware of every thought that crosses your mind. No thought goes unnoticed by your consciousness. As you read these words, focus carefully on how they sound in your mind. Sound the words out in your mind and hear them clearly in your head. Now turn up the volume so these words are the forefront of everything. Your thoughts are louder than all the sounds around you by tenfold. Now imagine these thoughts could not contain spaces between them. The gap is always filled with a word or sound. Even when you try to meditate the space between thoughts is filled with words, sounds, frustration, and mental exertion. Sometimes if you try and meditate, closing your eyes sends your mind spiraling. You end up talking yourself in circles. Think back to the last time you couldn't fall asleep because you were thinking anxiously, going over something again and again. Quadruple this mental noise and that is how your mind now works 24/7.
> 
> Now imagine your chest physically cannot expand. Take the tiniest breath possible in through your nose, and stop. This is all you can physically breathe no matter how hard you try. Take this perception in. This is a dissociative disorder, depersonalization/derealization to be exact, and this happens to people.
> 
> Picture living your life, maybe as a college student, and thinking everyone felt this way. Other people seem to be at ease, and you think maybe you're just high strung. Other people don't question what their reality is, and you think maybe you're just too curious. Other people are not self-conscious as they observe themselves socializing; maybe you're just shy. Yet all the time there is this looming unknown question you can't shake; this feeling that something isn't quite right. Until one day you look in the mirror and suddenly, you wake up from a dream. This happens to people, and this happened to me.


Wauw, this story, this is it...exacly how you describe. I used to had it 24/7 and now....sometimes. But when it comes it scares me again and then there is the circle. Thinking about everything... Scary diseases, Am I crazy, Am I somebody else in my body...go on and on and on... Do you have tips for grounding, or what do you do to calm down? I am trying meditation, walking, cold showers like Wim Hof...Only breathing technics scares me sometimes.... Anxiety is high sometimes... I hope you are feeling well, and thank you so much for your post!! Greetz Essy


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