# I rattle like stones in a tin can.



## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

This is the collection of pills that I take every day, for (ta-da, my latest diagnosis - Agitated Depression):

20mg Cipramil (Celexa)
3* Omega 3, 6, 9 capsules. 
2* 5-HTP tablets (which includes 250 RDA Vitamin B6)
1* Multi-vitamin tablet (All vitamins and minerals, A-Z)
1* Cod Liver oil tablet. (I take this specifically for my heart!)
3* 500mg Valerian tablets (in tea) before I go to bed.

.5 - 2mg of Klonopin, depending on how I feel. Somedays, some weeks none at all.

Now, simple question, do you think this is healthy? I really don't notice any positive benefits, but then again, I'm not completley miserable either. And my hair has a nice sheen to it. I'm not sure that if I stopped everything except the Ciprmail, I would notice any difference. Thoughts?


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

i dont take any meds or vitamins. i get enough of that in the foods i eat. plus my ADD doesnt allow me to do anything that requires remembering.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

To be honest, I don't really think any of that stuff does diddly-squat, but since my Leaukemia I've gone a bit postal and started shoving all sorts of pills and potions down my neck. I'm meant to take extra-vitamin suppliments because of my platelet count anyway, but the rest? Probably worthless.

Saying that, I reckon if I stopped taking them I might turn to stone, crumble away, and the dust blow away in the wind......


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## Guest (Oct 25, 2005)

Martinelv said:


> 3* Omega 3, 6, 9 capsules.
> 2* 5-HTP tablets (which includes 250 RDA Vitamin B6)
> 1* Multi-vitamin tablet (All vitamins and minerals, A-Z)
> 1* Cod Liver oil tablet. (I take this specifically for my heart!)


Where do you get these? I've never known where to get 5-HTP tablets, and I can only find cod liver tablets with multi-vitamins...I already take a multi vitamin and mineral tablet...I know it's not going to do me any harm though.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

You can get 5-HTP, Omega 3,6,9 and Valerian from Holland and Barrats, definately. I think Boots sell them as well, except perhaps 5-HTP. It's quite expensive stuff, but usually includes Vitamin B6 in it.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Martin, 
Well, all of these _will_ make a difference in your body, whether or not you notice it. The questions you have to keep in mind are (1) Is it necessary? Am I wasting my money on it? and (2) Does it do me any harm? Does it fit what I have or am diagnosed with? Really, thats a very good, clean list of supplements. Like I said before, if you can stop drinking, you might be on your way to a better life. 5htp WILL increase serotonin. Thats what it will become in its next step of synthesis in your body, whether or not you notice it. Celexa- this brings me back to my post in the freaking out about meds thread. Do you think you are depressed, or do you think you have problems which stem from something temporal lobe related? Honestly, I think you have ADD with temporal lobe problems. I'd be taking Omega 3 ( we get 6 and 9 from fried foods), L-tyrosine for concentration, multivitamin ( it never hurts), cod liver oil ( for the heart) and klonopin or Lamictal. I suspect since you are still having writing binges that you should either up the Klonopin, or look into a full-fledged anticonvulsant like Lamictal or neurontin. What you are on currently, however, while not in my opinion the most efficient combo, is harmless.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

you never notice how much sensitive teeth toothpaste does for you until you give it up


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

I've tried different meds...but none of them really did much for me. Right now I take 50 mg of Zoloft and take a complex vitamin everyday. That's it. I hate meds and I feel like they screw us up more than they help us.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I have absolutely no idea what my 'diagnosis' is anymore. I don't know if I even warrant one. The most common theme running through my numerous different diagnosis is depression, especially agitated (wft?) depression. Nobody has ever mentioned anything else except variations on that theme - not ADD, not GAD, Personality Disorder (not even borderline!!!), or even DR/DP. Depression, I've been told, is at the root of my problems. Which is weird because I never really feel depressed. Not depressed depressed anyway. But I guess depression can manifest itself in other ways. I suppose that because I function at a fairly high level, nobody really takes much notice until I self-destruct.....and then it's...'You're depressed.' Yawn.

But thanks guys. Homeskooled - you're right. Of course all these pills must be doing something to my body, but am I getting what I need out of them? I don't know if I get any benefit from Celexa...I feel like a slave to them. The only reason I take them is so that I don't get withdrawal symptoms! :roll:


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## orangeaid (Jun 24, 2005)

yeah first off its 5 didnt go to bed yet and umm full house isnt on effing tv when it should be so im pissed.

Anyway I often question what life is like with out pills, I did actually go cold turkey for a while during the summer I felt suprisingly good, I felt incredibly depressed i guess since i had no zoloft in me for a while. Like so depressed that you sometimes for no reason question how you can go on and live like you feel so incredible helpless, and to be honest i cant understand why I thought that. I guess thats depression for you.

Anyway I just want a quick fix all i want is a med to cure me, I dont want to do work. I try hard, every day I know I put up a fight... but it seems it is never good enough. So I am left with this feeling that I can sit here and hope it goes away or maybe some medicine will react on a chemical lvl and fix everything, or the drug will work on a mental level, and i will think it works like a sugar pill but think postiive. My third is that the drugs will ease the pain. I dont give a flying F if I am on drugs if they make my life easier. Drugs were put out there and there are some people who are so anti-drug or give you a hard time because they make your life easier and thats a pussy way out. Screw them I dont care, none of them will ever know the kind of pain that we go through every day.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Orangeaid, I know how you feel mate, I really do.

I constantly battle with "what's the point" questions....every single day. I fantasise about topping myself every day. I'm constantly hungover, constantly tired, constantly miserable, constantly aching, constantly guilty, constantly anxious, constantly unhappy!! Oh, and I feel especially guilty for moaning as I don't have DR/DP anymore. Just an aching sense of futility. But still, I someone get up and go to work. Why? Because if I don't, I'll just whither away in my bed. It's an appealing option, thinking about it as I sit here squinting at my PC in an un-airconditioned office, but one that I can't afford to indulge.

I should be happy, by rights. Got paid on Monday. Rich again. Got a new lady in my life. New flat is a bit of a shit tip, but still, I'm not living with my mummy anymore. I've got no real reason to be miserable anymore. But the happier I should be, the more miserable I get. :shock: Spent last night drinking wine and banging the b'jesus out of a lovely woman, and I felt nothing. Nothing. I laughed and joked and shagged and drank...but, nothing.

Ah, balls to it.


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## Scattered (Mar 8, 2005)

Sounds horrible.


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## orangeaid (Jun 24, 2005)

I hope things get better for you. The fact that you found someone that well you can bang lol is nice. But maybe you can confide in her with some of your emotions or what ever. Maybe you can find something deep with this person, maybe this person will make you happy. I truely believe that all it takes is one person to make all the difference in this world and have a life worth living. I mean of course I don tknow how serious you are, but having such a relationship might really help you out.


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## widescreened (Jun 22, 2005)

fair balls to you for gettin on with life.easy way out would be to crawl under a duvet for the rest of your life.i used to be afraid of meeting women while i went thru similar shit,ie it would be selfish of me to get a women involved with someone with dissociative issues.i mean,how can you possibly have a meaningful relationship with anyone when you think this way and feel empty.but this summer i started being honest about myself,calling my experience depression rather than dp/dr.few ran away,in fact i was surprized by the understanding i got.mental health issues effect every family on the planet,so it would seem anyway.it was a gr8 way to take the pressure off myself,and an encentive to try harder to be 'normal' and not to brood and feel sorry for myself


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Martin, maybe you need to get out of you and get in to helping someone else. I'm serious. If all the thrills in life aren't enough for you maybe you need to soften someone else's suffering.

Is this something you would even consider or are you immediately put off by the thought?

It could be like a movie where you do something like this, meet the woman of your dreams who also helps the needy, and the rest of your world becomes a place of peace.

There, go make a movie.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Cheers guys.

The more I think about then the more I tend to think that, as Scattered pointed out, that I may have 'Anhedonia' - the inability to 'feel' experiences. Whether this is a symptom of depression, or something else, I don't know. It's strange.

I've really started thinking about this, although I know I shouldn't. Thinking back over my life, I can't ever really remember enjoying anything. Or rather - I can't remember anything other that fleeting moments of pleasure. Not sex, food, love, achievements, nothing. Even when the girl of my dreams told me that she loved me.....hmm. Perhaps I'm expecting too much though. Perhaps it's because I expect fireworks and the earth moving(and I do, even now) which is rare in reality, then I've become conditioned to not feel anything. Perhaps I try to enjoy the 'small things in life', like I've always been told to. Hmm.....

Terri* - I've tried that one. For example - I sent my parents away on Holiday to Thailand. Momentary pleasure when they reacted with happyness and appreciation, but it soon faded. Or when, to get back to obvious, help an old lady cross the road. Yes, my chest puffs out for a moment, but then - eegggh. I also give money to three different charities each month. So what I ask myself. Sigh.

Back on the female theme (apologies to the ladeeez, this isn't meant to be derogatory or sexist in anyway...it's just the truth), well, I'm a bit scared to be honest. In the past if there has been one thing that was absolutely guaranteed to rid me (temporarily) of anxiety then it was women. Now, after two goddam dates, I've completely lost interest and am back to sizzling in anxiety. What next? Heroin? I think I'll be the worlds first person not to get addicted to Heroin because I got bored of it. (Disclaimer etc)


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

sigh...well I was thinking something more along the lines of working with people against landmines or something huge like that.

alas, you must have that anedonia. 

can it be "fixed" ?


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I see where you're coming from. Something life-threatening eh? Why don't you just get on a plane and come over and chase me through the woods with a shotgun.  Actually, that would be quite kinky. But that's another story.

I don't know anything about it, except for what Scattered posted. I'm going to spend the afternoon obsessively looking up Anedonia up on the internet. Once I'm satisfied that I've 'got' it, then I'll go home and obsessively worry about it there too.

:shock:


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

It has an "h" in it. Anhedonia. Looks like you've got it. 

Booking my ticket now to chase you thru the woods. I'm kind of bored myself. 

Really not funny. Off to find a cure.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Well, looks like it's off to Maudsley for you. Is that where the IoP is? Really, this could be exactly what is happening to you. It "reads" like what is happening to you.

Anhedonia

Written by Colin Brennan, medical journalist

Anhedonia, the inability to gain pleasure from normally pleasurable experiences - a concept first identified in the 1890s - is throwing new light on depression in ground breaking research at the Institute of Psychiatry, London.

Anhedonia was largely ignored throughout the 20th Century in favour of more obvious symptoms of depression, which include low mood, poor concentration, tiredness, disturbed appetite and sleep, feelings of guilt and suicidal thoughts. But since the late 1980s, anhedonia has been recognised as a core symptom of depression, and is also present in schizophrenia and other mental disorders.

It is best described by examples. An anhedonic mother gains no joy from playing with her baby, a footballer is no longer excited when his team wins, a teenager is left unmoved by passing their driving test.

Anhedonia and depression

Not everybody suffering from depression has anhedonia, according to consultant psychiatrist Dr Tonmoy Sharma of the Maudsley Hospital, London. Many people who go into mild depression can be cheered by 'tea and sympathy'. But in severe depression, anhedonia becomes a serious problem.

'It's worse than not being able to get any joy from life,' says Dr Sharma. 'People in this state have an incredibly flat mood. They can't react properly or feel anything. There is no modulation of mood at all. They can't take things forward.' Depression strikes one in every five people at some time in their lives and is a potentially fatal illness through suicide. Anhedonia places a great strain on relationships and is usually accompanied by a loss of sex drive. Anhedonia can continue after depression, but usually it goes away at the same time.

Depression is often called the 'invisible illness'. Victims hide their symptoms for fear of being seen as unable to cope or as miseries. It can be triggered by a sad event like a bereavement, by a physical illness or by imbalances in brain chemistry that come apparently out of the blue. The desire to remove the stigma from depression and to find better treatments prompted Dr Sharma and his team in the Section of Cognitive Psychopharmacology at the Institute of Psychiatry to research anhedonia.

Watching the brain in action

Antidepressant medicines only partially deal with anhedonia symptoms. Dr Sharma hopes to identify specific areas of the brain involved with the problem. It might be that the limbic system, which has already been linked with pleasure, might be shown to work differently in people with anhedonia. Then it would be possible to target this area either with existing drugs, which can be shown to work, or with new medicines or psychological treatments.

Dr Sharma's team is using a new imaging technique called functional magnetic resonance imaging - fMRI - that scans the brain at work. Some differences in the brains of depressives have already been observed. For example, in comparison with healthy volunteers, depressives have smaller hippocampi - the area that deals with emotion - larger white matter lesions and differences in brain metabolism.

A previous study found that when depressed people were shown film clips designed to cause passing sadness, they activated areas of the brain - the left medial prefrontal cortex and the right anterior cingulate gyrus - that were not involved in the reaction of a group of healthy controls. The investigators suggested that this might disconnect the limbic system from the normal prioritisation of emotional importance. In this new study the brains of people with anhedonia are being examined.

In an interview with NetDoctor, Dr Tonmoy Sharma explains his research methods by saying that as he is talking, he is using the brain cells at the front part of his brain. The increase in neural activity in this area means there is an increased need for oxygen. This is delivered by the haemoglobin, which carries oxygen in the blood to all the cells of the body. When this happens, there is a difference in the magnetic properties between oxygenated haemoglobin and deoxygenated hemoglobin as the oxygen is brought to the active area of the brain, which is picked up by the MRI scan.

'We are treading new ground,' he says. 'Instead of just looking at the structures of the brain, we are examining its functioning. We are seeing the changes in the brain as they happen.'

Not only can the activity of the brain be recorded when the person moves or signals the answer to a question by pressing a button, it can also be observed when the brain is active during thinking or planning.

When a rose lover loses the ability to take pleasure even from the most luscious bloom, the researchers hope to be able to discover the normal reaction of the brain to the fragrance of a rose. They will be able to pinpoint the normal reaction, then observe when that's absent.

The search for treatments

The next step is to see what effects medicines and psychological therapy have on the brain. The brain can be scanned after the volunteer has been given antidepressive medicines to see what is happening. There are drugs that can treat depression successfully, but it is not known which drugs react on which parts of the brain. 'This is something that will be exciting to discover,' says Dr Sharma. 'When we know the effects on the brain of pharmacological and psychological therapies for depression, it will help us predict who is going to get depressed and also who is going to respond to treatment and what kind of treatment and who is likely to relapse. We will also be able to monitor the effects of the drugs as we give them.'

In the research, volunteers are shown film clips such as the famous comic orgasm scene from the movie When Harry met Sally, and slides to invoke emotions in people while they are having fMRI scans. If patients with depression and anhedonia show patterns of activity different from those who respond positively to the images, it will provide information on the pleasure responses in the brain and identify abnormalities.

Dr Sharma believes that when it is clearly demonstrated that depressive illness is caused by physical changes in the brain, even if it is triggered by life events or illness, the stigma attached to it will be removed. 'These are important advances that do give new hope for people who have suffered from depression and change our understanding of the illness,' he said.

S


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Thanks for that sweetheart.

Hmm...and hmmm again. Reading that, I really don't know. I don't suffer from 'classic' depression symptoms - lack of appetite, insomnia, crying....but I do have all the psychological ones - guilt, low mood, severe pessimism, incapable of feeling pleasure.

Sigh, I dunno. I'll just get permanately drunk. Oh hang on, I tried that already. Sigh*10.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

forgetting looks and the other surface comments that might come up,as much as i hate robbie williams(to any americans its robbie and not robin williams)ive watched this man being interviewed and ive even read his biog (well i got half way through) you do sound alot like the man regarding emotional issues...anyway just a thought


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Wot, you saying I don't look like a hugely successfull pop-star? :wink:

Yeah, I know what you mean though. I've read some stuff about him and he does seem to have depression-like symptoms.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i honestly think that the man is extremely unhappy...he doesnt know whether hes straight or gay,he thinks everyone hates him (well i do)...he cant make his mind up if hes addicted to drink or drugs...the list goes on and the reason i only got halfway through the biog was apart from his boasting about how many women hes shagged he kept banging on about cracking america and then saying he wasnt bothered...but the main reason i put the book down was pure and simple,the constant self loathing


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Look, Martin, I'm going to say it again - I just dont think you have depression. You know what those checklists for depression say - Do you have trouble sleeping at night? Do you have feelings of guilt? Do you cease to get pleasure from activities you once did?....do you know how unscientific these questions are? They have _almost_ no basis in biology, which is why I wish psychiatrists would just start scanning patients. Look, I've seen patients with depression. Biologically, in depression, the frontal and prefrontal cortex cease to be active. These are directly attached to the limbic system, which is the walnut sized emotional font of the brain. It sends signals out to the frontal and prefrontal cortex and lobes. If they arent functioning, you dont get any recognition that you have emotion. And then you get *true* depressives - the ones with blank stares, flat affects, and awful memories. They look semi-lobotomized because their body is doing the same thing a lobotomy does - not using their frontal lobes. Yes, many have guilt, but ultimately, most of them feel nothing. Then you need to falsely stimulate the frontal lobes using antidepressants.

Now look at you. You crave stimulation. Women. Drink. Writing. Meaning. And you are filled with self-loathing, guilt, and huge amounts of aggression with no discernable cause. Because of this unknown inner angst, you search for meaning. You *feel* angry. You _crave_. And yet you still dont feel fulfilled. You dont feel quite like you are in touch with your emotions. Its not anhedonia. True anhedonia is what I've described above. Its an old, old, old term that any psych student knows. I'm telling you that you are feeling a lack of kinesthetic recognition. Not just of your actions, which are never enough, but of your emotions. You dont feel fulfilled. And as I said before, people with temporal lobe issues feel angry, sad, and in turmoil about existential issues (look at the thread about it which just popped up _again_) while constantly searching for higher meaning. You have two options. Because the temporal lobes are the center for insight and artistic inspiration, you can become a Beethoven, a David Copperfield (the magician), or a Charles Dickens. You can live a very abnormal life, like all of these men, searching for unusually high highs and incredible artistic accomplishments, which will finally have the pizazz that you are looking for - but like the two dead men on that list, it will still not quite be enough, and in-between these inspirational highs, you will again be at a morose loss for meaning. Only when your temporal lobes are being highly stimulated will you feel like you are fulfilled. But normal people walk around with this stimulation every day, which is why they feel at _peace_. So why not take the middle road, chuck the antidepressants which are stimulating your already stimulated frontal lobe, and take something to even out those temporal lobes. You are the king of the medicine cabinet here. Just try, _try_ Lamictal with what you are taking. If it doesnt work out, zippidy do da. Its not addictive. Chuck it. Admit it. Your doctors are at a loss with you, and honestly, most of psychiatry is at a loss for treating most emotional disorders. Take your friend Homie's advice. I had your same exact problems. I tried publishing a book when I was six. Never felt fulfilled no matter how many good deeds I accomplished. Only was happy when I was writing a play, performing magic, writing a book, or doing something obscenely ambitious for someone 9-16. At its worse, true lack of kinesthetic recognition kicked in, and I became DPed at 16. I dont have that now, thanks to porphyria. Now I have the actual depression I outlined in paragraph one. So I'll treat the porphyria to get that under control. I'll leave you with two links. One to a psychiatric brain imaging site, another to emedicine's porphyria page, so you guys know what I'm talking about.

SPECT images of Temporal Lobe disorders(severe cases)
http://amenclinics.com/bp/atlas/ch14.php

Porphyria

http://www.emedicine.com/MED/topic1880.htm

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Scattered (Mar 8, 2005)

Score one for the biological reductionists.

Your meat machine needs a tune-up.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Thank you once again Homeskooled. You've convinced me. It' true, everything you say. I don't feel any better whatsoever on Anti-Depressants. I hope you don't mind if I print this off, I'm going to show it to my doctor. Cheers mate.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Thank God for small favors. If you need any scientific ammunition, PM me. Although they shouldnt have a problem with these. I'd ask for Lamictal first. Its one of only a few anticonvulsants with no sexual side effects, a mild energy boost ( it affects serotonin slightly), and peer reviewed efficacy with DP and DR. Get it up to 200-225 if you can. Stay on the Klonopin. You can raise it if you want. The second most successful combo I've seen, with the least side effects, is Neurontin with Klonopin. Neurontin is really innocuous as well, and both Lamictal and Klonopin are kind to the liver and kidneys. You are such a classic case, I definitely expect at least a moderate lessening of your symptoms, if not some remission. I'd try to stop Celexa if you can, though. Its been shown that antidepressants may inflame and increase the erratic activity of an already erratic temporal lobe.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## revdoc (Jan 2, 2005)

Homeskooled said:


> They look semi-lobotomized because their body is doing the same thing a lobotomy does - not using their frontal lobes. Yes, many have guilt, but ultimately, most of them feel nothing.
> Homeskooled


I have to say, I've been in mental hospital twice, for a total of about a year, and I never saw a person like you descibe - not in their body language and the way they spoke. Most tried to cover it up or and were capable of smiling and suchlike. But as you say, I think most were 'anhedonic'. I was all agitated most of the time, and certainly anhedonic.

+ Lamictal is indeed by far the best drug, just from my experience. I can't imagine living without it now.

+Observable brain changes can reflect feeling (or lack of), as well as cause them.


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## Guest (Nov 5, 2005)

Awesome post Homeskooled.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Revdoc, 
I can think of quite a few I've seen with a blank, expressionless face - lack of affect (emotion) is what it is called - one is my roommate. Some can fake it, yes, and some who we label as 'depressed' as Martin was, are truly suffering from something in their brain a little more complicated. If they've been in a psych unit more than once for it, they need to be brainscanned. Period. I know the psychiatrists will say its an unnecessary expense - but is a brain scan, which costs about $1500, less expensive than _weeks_ in a hospital? What does that come to? $10,000 or upwards? Come on. We need to stop guesstimating in psychiatry and relying on outdated models of "chemical imbalances". We need to figure out _why _ the chemicals are imbalanced. I bet its alot of hormonal and metabolic disorders, and the hormonal factor is why more women are depressed. They just approved Effexor for menopausal symptoms - guess what the number one medicine on this forum is for helping women out of DP and depression? I'll give you 3 guesses and the first two dont count. A psychiatrist needs to be a medical detective, able and willing to hunt down the malfunctioning parts of the body which are contributing to his patient's malaise. It makes me sad, because I want to be a doctor so badly, but because of my porphyria and chemical sensitivities, I may never make it.

Peace
Homeskooled

PS- Thank you Mrmole. I'm just calling them as I see them.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

Homeskooled, if i'm ever on trial for my life in some sort of first degree murder or high treason case, i want you on my defence team.

Good post.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Thanks. You know, your avatar still cracks me up. Dont lose it. Yes, I've been told many times that I should be a lawyer. Currently, though, I think I'll just run for office, because I would relish televised debates. My man just won in our Mayoral Race, here in Youngstown. I've been on his campaign since I returned about two months. I was made a ward captain for Tuesday's elections, which meant I oversaw 14 poll workers, 10 polling stations, election disputes, and running of the election tallies down to headquarters. It was very exciting, and a great honor to be trusted with those responsibilities. At the end of the day, when the polls closed at 7:30 PM, I was allowed into the Convocation Center (our local indoor hockey arena/stadium) where we awaited the election results from center ice on the big screen TVs(it was covered with tiles, of course). There were about 5000 people there with me, and I got to sit in the front row as I was part of the campaign staff. At 9:00 PM his opponent, Bob Hagan, conceded the race, and bedlam ensued. There was a balloon drop, a band on the stage, and people hugging each other everywhere. This was a *HUGE* milestone in Ohio politics. Jay Williams is the first black mayor to be elected in our great city. He is also the youngest, at 34. He was Vice President of a bank in Cleveland and came back to Youngstown to become the Community Development Director. He took a pay cut of $50,000 to do that. He's idealistic, and just wants to see our town, which is quite depressed, grow again. Very religious, very honest, very fluent and intelligent. He even stated he will not be a career politician, and will not run for more than 2 terms. He's almost the exact kind of candidate I plan to be when I run for office....except that I beleive I could run a tighter, more effective campaign. I know I can. I took the exam to replace him as Community Development Director, and as the top 10 scores go down to the mayor's office to be interviewed, and I was 7, I may have a shot at that, at least. This, of course, is why I wasnt on DPselfhelp the past couple of days. Here are some pertinent links:

http://www.wytv.com/news/local/1846821.html

http://www.jaywilliamsformayor.com/

http://www.wkbn.com/news/local/1843891.html

http://www.wkbn.com/news/local/1959437.html

You might be able to see me in some of the crowd video. I was directly in front of him on the WYTV feed, although the snippet may not be long enough to show it, and I was behind him to the left during his WKBN interview. Unfortunately, my ward of which I was captain, the 4th ward, is predominantly white and middle class, and although many people voted for him, especially senior, white women and young white men, the majority of the votes in my precint went to Hagan. Luckily popular vote, and not carrying a precint, wins the election, so every vote counted. Thought you might want to hear about it Sebastian, because you've expressed interest in my past campaigns in Pittsburgh.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

> Very religious


Is that a good thing? Why do you assume this?

:lol:


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Because it means he resembles me, Martin, and thats always a good thing. I'd like to be Prime Minister of England next.... 

peace
Homeskooled


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

If that ever happens I'm leaving the country for Brazil!


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

How you doing today Martin?

Turd-like? Hope not :wink:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Mildly miserable, but the Clon's are doing the trick. Going to London tonight with a lady I'm not-quite sure I like, but hey, why the hell not.

You alright sweetheart?


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

Not too bad. Fed up with worrying over every single thing imaginable. I even obsess over what to have on my toast in the morning. :evil: 
but apart from that...can't complain.

Anything fun happening in London?


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I spend so much time typing and drawing on the computer, I just tried to use something I think they call a pen, and I didn't know what to do. Seriously, I feel like I've forgotten how to write and have gone back to 'not-joined up'


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Yeah, had a good time in London. Went to Covent Garden and wandered around the market, marvelling at the huge variety of hand made tat that sells for six million pounds. Had a nice sushi meal though, then went to St Pauls and walked up (count 'em) 593 steps to the top. Great view though, except that my friend suddenly decided she didn't like heights. Sigh. Then went to the Tate Modern where I fumed and ranted at the modern 'art' and the shocking pretensiousness of it all. Some nice rude photos though, and a quite intriguing video concerning to futility of existance. Scattered would have wept with joy. The went sarf' of the river had had two nice bottles of wine and a light meal, watched the fireworks over the river (it was the lord mayors procession), then got a phone call from a friend in pub in Fulham which we, somehow, managed to find. You wouldn't imagine how hard it is to read the underground maps with 2 litres of booze inside you. Went to the pub, got even more smashed, passed out at his house, woke up in the morning and had a fantastic greasy breakfast, then went home.......


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