# I Need help please :(



## Rory1993 (Sep 8, 2013)

I've had this for a month now. It was triggered by a succession of horrific panic attacks. I had about 30 in a week due to an adverse reaction to a prescription medication.

At least I think that I am suffering from this. I typed into googles 'don't recognise my family' and stumbled upon this.

My main concern is...

When I look at my boyfriend or my family I KNOW who they are but also in a way it's like I have never met them before.

When I am not with my boyfriend I actually can't remember him properly like maybe he doesn't actually exist. But obviously I know he does.

After I see people it feels like it hasn't really happened and I can't remember the events properly.

I hate looking people in the eyes because I feel like they can tell I'm going insane  and because it doesn't feel the same as before.

I love my boyfriend and I was so close to him and now I feel like I don't even know who he is.

I'm crying so hard writing this. What's the point of being alive if you can't love anymore??

I'm so so scared  I feel like I am completely adrift and time and everything is passing me by. Like I stepped out of the world and I want back in!!

I'm sure you have all heard people whine like this a million times but I feel very alone and I can't remember what it feels like to be normal but that is all I want.

Thanks for listening


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## Peebles8 (Sep 10, 2013)

Rory1993 said:


> I've had this for a month now. It was triggered by a succession of horrific panic attacks. I had about 30 in a week due to an adverse reaction to a prescription medication.
> 
> At least I think that I am suffering from this. I typed into googles 'don't recognise my family' and stumbled upon this.
> 
> ...


Hi there,

That sounds terrible  hope you're doing ok. Have you tried talking to your family or your boyfriend about how you've been feeling? When my dpd is really strong I also get the feeling that I don't really recognize people and like you said when I hang out with people i don't remember the events properly, the order they happened in, or even what day it was. I feel like if I look at someone long enough, including my parents, friends etc, that they start to seem unreal / "new". But I'm at the point where it doesn't bother me anymore, after dealing with dpd for going on 6 years and a lot of help, support, and therapy, I've come to accept it. I really hope you can find the help and support that you need, and that this community can help you. The feeling that being normal was just there but you can't get back to it is terrible.. but you're not going insane, and this doesn't have to ruin your life, I know it's a terrifying experience but it'll only ruin things if you let it. If what you have is in fact dpd, it's a defence mechanism (a crappy one but yeah) it seems possible that the panic attacks could have triggered it, and the fact that you had a bad reaction to meds. I'm not a pro at all though lol just talking from what I've personally experienced with dpd.. My suggestions would be talking to your family, or at least your boyfriend, he should understand, explain to him that you're scared and how you're feeling and let him know that even though you're going through something right now that you do love him. And if you'd be interested in trying it, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has helped me loads. Be strong, and again I really hope you're feeling ok.


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## googleeyes (Apr 25, 2012)

Hi Rory,

You're really lucky that you found this forum so quickly. You can begin working toward normalcy a lot sooner than many other people have. It's my belief that this will allow you to recover much quicker. (before all of the negative thoughts pile on) 
I suggest reading the post titled "the holy grail of curing dp" as well as picking up a book called "hope and help for your nerves" by Claire Weekes.
If you have had 30 panic attacks in such a short time essentially your nerves are fried and need time to heal. Unfortunately, what most people do is continue to worry and question everything; keeping the nerves in an agitated state. 
Just stay calm, focus on anything else, and you will recover. 
It will be okay.


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