# Relapsed



## seven 777 (Jul 20, 2017)

Hey everyone ive been gere before and decided to make my first post. I origi ally got this from weed when i was 16 and had it for roughly 6-8 months and got over slowly i managed to get over it and was enjoying life somewhat. Now me being the fucking idiot i am decided to take weed again from when i was 21, my friend kept pressuring me to try edibles and i was dru k so i took em.Usually i dont even smoke that much weed since im cautious i really didnt want to have to go through this again but unfortunantly i ended up having a brutal panic attack. it was around feburary and i still have it. Im starting to lose hope and im considering killing myself, i dont see the point anymore i used to have so many hopes and dreams and now i have nothing. I can barley draw when it gets bad i just lay down and rot. It was getting okay for a bit but then i got sick and had to ween off my meds becausd they were making me feel worse. i drank a bit and that also made me feel bad so i stopped altogether. I decided to listen to everyones advice workout, socialize, eat healthy, take vitamins but it didnt do much. I'm not sure if it will take the same time as when i was 16, because it took 6-8months for it to be bearable but im worried i fucked myself over and im gonna deal with this for a long time and if i do ill gladly end my life no way im living like this for a year.Im also slowly starting to hit another low like i did last april which i couldnt even get out of the bed for a month. Ah well all it takes is one night to ruin your life funny how that works but i dont mind paying for my stupidity with my own life. I dont expect anyone to read this but thanks. Also sorry for the length o didnt expect to type this much.


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

I am taking my turn to reply to all Introducing.

This advice is gonna be brief, only because you've beat this thing before, you are just older and it's more intense, how age becomes with more responsibilities.

SO yeah, you beat it once, it's just another Stone in the road. Vitamins aren't gold, anyone who thinks they beat this by putting into their body what they already have, well, nonsense in general. You get better by helping your brain, some that takes some exercise, health eating, some vitamins, but time is a factor for sure.

I am no doctor, so don't take my advice as so. But get rid of depression and anxiety and you will be a long way there, how to do that is up to you, many google searches will tell you that, sometimes it takes a doctor... for DP that is actually what i'd recommend but up to you.

The second thing is you've had 2 strikes. It's a learning lesson, when you get out and you will, admit that drugs are not for you, life is too important


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

I'm battling DP for the second time as well, and I've almost recovered at this point. Trust me, it will go away. It is not permanent. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and this is a TEMPORARY problem. It may take a few months, but that pales in comparison to the years of your life you still have yet to live.

One of the strategies I used to beat this thing was my horrible vision. That sounds weird, but I found it very grounding. Bad vision is hereditary in my case. If I started having panicky feelings, sometimes I would just take my glasses off for a while. I realize this won't work for a lot of people. The point is, I found something to keep me from losing my identity as a human being. I know you can do the same. Good luck!


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## seven 777 (Jul 20, 2017)

eh i dont even know anymore i tried alot of supplements and meds and i feel like im getting worse. Last time i had it i was doing well near the sixth month mark but now im doing terrible. I dont mind dying anyways its going to be easier to pull the trigger because i see no point in living life. Funny how it works 7 months ago i was so happy but now i cant even enjoy anything but whatever at this point im just waiting till my date.


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

Hi Seven 777, I'm sorry to read how hard you are finding things, but don't give up hope. If seven months ago you were happy you can be that way again. It can be a lot of trial and error in finding what works best for you, but so many people have spoken about how they felt this way then found something that helped and turned things around.


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## Chris_Liverpool (Aug 8, 2017)

Hi seven 777

I'm really sorry to hear about your current situation it sounds absolutely awful, but not unusual. After reading through lots of posts on this site I was amazed to see how many people feel as hopeless as I have felt in the past. When i relapsed about two years ago i couldn't see the point either , i was exausted and unwilling to do anything that might trigger a panic attack (which was basically everything). I've had spells where i couldnt go out for long periods and its the most depresing thing i've experienced. During one of my reclusive spells i drank a lot and got myself into a bit of bother whilst pissed, this drew the attention of other family members that i didnt see very often. My cousin dragged me to work with him in his shop every day for 4 months where i had severe anxiety and daily panic attacks, but slowly they faded away and the feeling of depersonalisation somewhat went away too. The point of all this is that something that i could never of imagined making a difference actually did, and something will for you too. I think in our heart of hearts most of us on this website will have contemplated the unthinkable from time to time, I know I have. But I'm thankful that I didn't give in and you will be too. I look forward to hearing your recovery story and all the amazing advice you're going to be able to give others on this forum, please contact if you fancy a chat.


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## seven 777 (Jul 20, 2017)

Hasnt got better got worse. I too anafranil and clonazepam but that made me feel worse i feel so shitty right now i cant draw or do anything i like. I almost feel like im wasting life i cant enjoy or do anything hanging out with friends doesnt feel as good. Ill probably kill myself, at this point i dont care, why live when life isnt good we were born with choice so i dont see anything wrong with ending your life. I only plan on living till august. If it doesnt get better than august ill go jump off somewhere doesnt matter. Symptoms are getting worse too i may be dealing with benzo withdrawal too but idk trying supplements but they dont work i spent ao much money on this shit and it did fuck all. Im pissed fuck this, fuck weed and fuck my stupid life if only guns were legal in canada id already have a bullet in my brain fuck


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

Wow can’t believe on July 26 I claimed that my DP was “almost gone”. Talk about denial.


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

seven 777 said:


> Hasnt got better got worse. I too anafranil and clonazepam but that made me feel worse i feel so shitty right now i cant draw or do anything i like. I almost feel like im wasting life i cant enjoy or do anything hanging out with friends doesnt feel as good. Ill probably kill myself, at this point i dont care, why live when life isnt good we were born with choice so i dont see anything wrong with ending your life. I only plan on living till august. If it doesnt get better than august ill go jump off somewhere doesnt matter. Symptoms are getting worse too i may be dealing with benzo withdrawal too but idk trying supplements but they dont work i spent ao much money on this shit and it did fuck all. Im pissed fuck this, fuck weed and fuck my stupid life if only guns were legal in canada id already have a bullet in my brain fuck


 Do NOT do this. Please. I got mine from weed too and trust me you will improve even if it doesn't feel like it. I've been in a DP hell for months and I've fought my way through. You will too. It will take time. But you will get there eventually.


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

Hey, please contact a help line, or someone you can talk to. Things can look bad sometimes, but they can get better too, so do tell someone what you're going through.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/54170-crisis-suicide-hotlines/

You're not worthless, you matter, and many people who reach a low point then find a way and look back later and are glad they kept going, so do take care.


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