# I might be able to help everybody get out of dp just listen for a sec



## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

I dont claim to be a professional of any sort btw. But I think I know how I can help everyone relieve themselves of dp AND I MEAN QUICK, LIKE TODAY. When I explain to you what dp REALLY is. It will be easy to get out of it. Ok here goes nothing.

A lot of people get dp from doing drugs (like me) 1st timer. Or some just get it and they dont know why. Well here is why, first lets look at what most drugs do which is through one way or another increase the focus of your attention span to new heights. I.e why pot heads always get high and say "You know I never noticed this but ________< insert philosophical nonsense here. Its because although weed relaxes the body, It elevates the mind by forcing out chemicals that increase the attention span and also increase its focus. Kind of like lookin at a newspaper through a magnifying glass. THIS ESSENTIALLY IS WHERE DP COMES FROM.

Ok so I'll break it down usually in a fight or flight situation, the brain pumps chemicals in the body that increase attention span, focus, etc except its only until the perceived danger is over. Once it over the body stops producing these chemicals and your body goes back to normal. You never even notice that your body went through a attention and focus increase because all of your attention and focus were on the danger. Now lets apply the same increased attention/focus state to someone who has nothing to do but look at wall paper patterns. The elevated focus and attention would be used to begin to noticed trivial nonsense. Like philosophical nonsense weed heads, pill heads, crack heads say that make you go " hm never thought about that.

One trivial nonsense that is usually noticed during this state of elevated focus and attention is ready for it EXISTENCE! In this state of elevated attention/focus the person experiencing this is technically being forced to look at an examine everything on earth with a magnifying glass. Imagine if someone forced you to look at everything through a magnifying glass all of a sudden. Of course you would notice things you didnt before. Then it happens with this elevated state of awareness your mind wanders across the thought of EXISTENCE.

You begin to ask questions you never did before such as"how can I move my hand? how can i say what I want with my mouth? how am I controlling myself? how am I here? Where is here? How is all this happening?"Immediately the world around you seems to look different and you wondered how did it look before. THE ANSWER, EXACTLY THE SAME. That is the answer to your dp.

I'll explain, you didnt get brain damaged, your not going crazy. What you are doing is paying attention to things you never payed attention to before. Except the things you are paying attention to have no answer. Like existence for example. Therein lies the loop and why people get stuck in dp. Essentially what you are asking your brain is what came first the chicken or the egg. Its no answer to the question so its pointless to pay ATTENTION to and try to figure out.

I remember I used to read this board and many others and people used to say to beat dp just stop paying attention to it. I used to go "how can I stop paying attention to it, when I dont know what IT is. Well I'm here to tell you dp is PAYING ATTENTION TO EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS OR THOUGHTS that is all. Soon as you stop caring about where your thoughts are coming from or how you make your lips move, or how do you control your body dp will be gone I promise. Thats not that hard to do. Just stop paying attention to dumb philosophical thoughts your mind has. Dont say im not going to think about existential thoughts, because your brain will make you think about them.Just simply pay no interest to existential things.

When the thoughts do come up pay them no mind and say guess I'll find out when I die and can ask god. Once your attention and focus come off of all those essential thoughts then you will feel like normal again..To prove Im right look at your right arm right now and tell me how are you moving it? really think about it. BAM dp right? Exactly, Problem solved hope this gets spread across every board on the internet so people can stop worrying and stop suffering.

Oh and let me add one thing the reason dp seems worse when your scared is because of those fight or flight chemicals I mentioned above elevating your attention/focus which makes it easier to focus on dumb existential b.s like "why does the world look like this" etc. If I pointed out to you a small stain on your ceiling that you never noticed before you would notice it from then on. Unless it was of so small of importance you didnt care. You would forget its there. Kinda like we do our old favorite song from five years ago until it comes on the radio again. Then we go "oh yeah I forgot about this"

Essentially this is all dp is, paying attention to dumb questions about the universe and existence you can never answer. Well I hope this helps all the people across the world going through this. Any questions and i'll try to answer but I only planned to write this and never return here again. As it will be no point. The answers are all above  see ya guys.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

loll its all good just read it and if you find it helpful repost it in any format you like.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

I feel like a magician~!

Anyway, sound advice that quite a lot of folks on here could benefit from.


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## Guest (Apr 17, 2014)

Good post


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Solomon beat you to it XD

Well, except for the underline, I suppose.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

You guys work quick lol


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## Guest (Apr 17, 2014)

Pyrite said:


> Solomon beat you to it XD
> 
> Well, except for the underline, I suppose.


I was just making fun of this part "You know I never noticed this but ________< insert philosophical nonsense here."


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Thats a great post. But that's not all the symptoms of dp. For me anyways. My mind does flips when I think about how I know things.... Like I look at something and think I only knw this is wall because I have been taught it. And also no self. Lime just an lump of flesh I cant understand. So if anyone has any ideas of how to not think about thinking about thinking and wonder why they are anywhere at all. I would really appreciate it. I am aware I am stuck in the fight or flight mode at the moments likLe everything I know is programmed and not me really know it. So its like I'm just copying what I know but it doesn't feel natural. Feels weird to be anywhere. Can this go back to the way it was. How. Feels like I'm so far gone.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

What is it u want me to do. I'm staying busy and going running and eating well and sleeping well. I'm just very afraid and upset. What should i do bill? Ignore it? Ignore the naked fear if everything around me including myself. Genuine question how do I do this. I overcame dp a few times actually. Never have a felt it as severe as this. I know the reasons why. But is a symptom of dp making u fear everything and that u.cant go back to playing along with life like u once did. How do i not break down and cry and panic when I need to?


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

And bill I'm posting round in circles because I have yet to believe its something that can go... I know the dp I had before. But this one makes me not want to live


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

And when I said I overcame it before I was a year without it. Never anything this frightening


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Why can't u have some empathy that I'm clearly just very distressed. U tell me to ignore it. But not how? Maybe the advice just isn't clicking with me and I'm someone who needs a little bit more reassurance. Its hard to believe u were ever as bad ad this if u are so black and white.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

And when nothing is working I'm gonna panic and re write how I feel. Instead ill just use a diary and talk to myself if its bothering u to see me write how I'm feeling.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Okay thank you..' is it okay to ask for a little reassurance if I need to from you again soon?


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

katiej said:


> Okay thank you..' is it okay to ask for a little reassurance if I need to from you again soon?


You don't need reassurance. It is what it is. Heightened anxiety which is causing dp/dr.

That's it that's all, chicken ball.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

To the above poster your doing EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what gets you out of it. What your scared of is essentially existing and every question that comes with it. Most of which cant be answered by any human being on this earth at this point if ever. The feeling your describing is you paying attention to the fact of having the constant awareness of these questions in your head and trying to put together all the pieces. But you never will you will just keep focus on the weird feeling of existing and how anything is possible.While people without dp don't care. Thats why they dont have dp basically. If you want to stop thinking about it as I said before PAY NO INTEREST IN ANY EXISTENTIAL THOUGHTS. When they pop in your head say "I dont really care how I can move my arm, long as I can move it" and forget about it. Then you will look up and voila no more dp.

Its funny if you took someone without dp and told them to focus really hard on how they move there mouth when their speaking. If it was important enough to them first they would only focus on this conundrum, but eventually all the other existential thoughts would follow. Then here comes dp. But If you ask somebody who really doesnt care they would think about it for a sec get that weird dp feeling. Then say I dnt know but I dnt care plus thinking about it makes me feel weird. Even now If I want to turn dp symptoms on all I have to do is focus on existential question like " What is space" not the space in the sky I mean space like from point A to point B. Soon as I focus on a thought like that dp turns on. When I want it to turn back off I quit thinking about dumb existential questions like the one above and no more dp. I dont think I can break it down anymore than this. I hope this helped you


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

For my final post I Im gonna go over one more thing in detail which still prob have many people doubting getting out of dp is simple as I stated above. That is that weird feeling you get even when your not thinking about existential things. Which is why people are thinking my dp cant be a mental thing if I can feel it even when Im not thinking about it or anything else for that matter. Well guys all that weird feeling is, is your body being in fight or flight mode but here in lies the key. Your paying attention to it. Everyone goes through that feeling. Its called being scared. Except most people don't notice the change in there body when they get scared i.e the heightened attention, awareness, and focus you get.

I remember before I ever did the drug (which was a pill by the way) that put me in my long bout with dp. Me and my friends went to go see cabin in the woods. Well toward the end when all the monsters came out and everyone was dying I thought" wow one day im gonna die" This scared me and then that weird feeling start running through my body (heightened attention chemicals being released) then tryed to think how it would be to not exist and I got dp. Then I said whatever and started to focus on the movie again and the weird feeling (being scared) and the dp (everything looking weird) went away. I wondered to myself what was that feeling, but brushed it off like "yup that means stop thinking about dying" lol

So to wrap this up maybe I should conclude by saying that weird feeling your body is getting is coming from being scared. Not just of dp, but it comes when you get scared period. Seeing how we are all human that means that feeling will always be there when something scary happens. Now went it happens you can pay attention to it and not be afraid of it because you know that the reason its happening in the first place is because something must of scared you. Then if you can stop being scared for long enough. I.e thinking about existential questions like dying or even watching a scary movie it wil go away. I think this about covers everything there is about dp. Or maybe I should have stated from my first post that the thought problem is what causes derealization and the being scared problem is what causes or essentially is dp.

TO conclude DP Depersonalization = being scared since everyone gets scared this was never a problem to begin with.

How to fix: You cant its a natural body function, just stop being scared so much I guess lol

DR Derealization = The existential thoughts people usually think about when there scared.

How to fix : Quit focusing on existential things so much and just live. This is not philosophy 101 or science 101


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

shininguri said:


> For my final post I Im gonna go over one more thing in detail which still prob have many people doubting getting out of dp is simple as I stated above. That is that weird feeling you get even when your not thinking about existential things. Which is why people are thinking my dp cant be a mental thing if I can feel it even when Im not thinking about it or anything else for that matter. Well guys all that weird feeling is, is your body being in fight or flight mode but here in lies the key. Your paying attention to it. Everyone goes through that feeling. Its called being scared. Except most people don't notice the change in there body when they get scared i.e the heightened attention, awareness, and focus you get.
> 
> I remember before I ever did the drug (which was a pill by the way) that put me in my long bout with dp. Me and my friends went to go see cabin in the woods. Well toward the end when all the monsters came out and everyone was dying I thought" wow one day im gonna die" This scared me and then that weird feeling start running through my body (heightened attention chemicals being released) then tryed to think how it would be to not exist and I got dp. Then I said whatever and started to focus on the movie again and the weird feeling (being scared) and the dp (everything looking weird) went away. I wondered to myself what was that feeling, but brushed it off like "yup that means stop thinking about dying" lol
> 
> ...


Amen.

Funny how you say you got yours via a pill.
Mine was caused as a side effect of an anti depressant. How ironic, eh?


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

Yeah see funny things about drugs. Prescription, street, etc is if they are uppers they force your brain to release the attention heightening chemicals for a certain period of time. Basically forcing your body to feel scared (DP). Then soon after with all that increased focus watch the existential thoughts fly (DR).


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Shiniguiri. I get what you are saying and u are correct about it. But if I'm correct ur basically saying that when we dont think about the existence thoughts the dp is not there. That's not true for me. Existing feels weird and maybe that's because I'm caught in.the fight or flight mode at the moment. But my questions about existence are happening because I don't feel like a person at the moment. Like most of us I'm sure. So.are u saying with the existence thoughts to.ignore them and over time they will dissipate? 
I dont really have questions of any that u listed. I don't really care how i can move and space snd all that which most ppl freak out over... Mine is more like an awareness of my awareness and feeling as if I know nothing... If by doing what u say i can reverse this then I will definately try... Even the question how do I know the things I know. I dont.want the answers I just want to exist naturally like before. So its possible to overtime rewire this habit? I know that's.what's been told to me and i hear it. But sometimes you think u are too far gone... And its hard to believe. Because at the moment everything is.very frightening.


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## Westcoast Ghost (Sep 8, 2013)

This topic kind of reminds me of something. I was in the psych ward of the local hospital and this guy (a patient) was making connections between things where they didn't necessarily exist... He said "Can I go on a break? No, MAY I go on a break? I think I said 'can' because 'can' holds Coke and I'm thirsty... I'm trying to figure out how my mind works, even though I don't have to."

The last part stuck out to me. "I don't have to." 
He was right and we don't *have to* think existentially either. I got by just fine without it for 16 years. So, trying to remind myself of that.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

yes i agree.... Feels so very hard to go back to not caring and doing things automatically though. But i guess it takes practice. For me its almost as if i dont want to go back because i have found out some horrible truth. Yet i totally want to go back to being ignorant. So much. But i wont by constantly trying to. Very maddening and tiring i must said. Its as if someone ruined your illusion and im so angry about it.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Ppl can get dp from weed because it is a mild hallucinogen

Dp is NOT a thought disorder...anyone can think a lot and still be connected to there emotions


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

im completely connected to my emotions... Just dont feel like a person. But what i mean is i have full emotions. alot of people with Dp do. Different forms i suppose. I did feel before numb a few years ago. Recovered. Got it back more like existential obsession and anxiety.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

missjess said:


> Ppl can get dp from weed because it is a mild hallucinogen
> 
> Dp is NOT a thought disorder...anyone can think a lot and still be connected to there emotions


PPl dont get Dp from weed or drugs. They get it from their reaction to the weed or drugs. Same way consistant anxiety and panic attacks can cause it. One way or another your mind is scared. And hiding out. But when people say they got it from drugs. Its really irrelevent. Because it just causes them to think the drug rewired their brain or something.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I disagree ...I've had a few overdoses and they fuk ur brain up how else u gonna react ? Depends on ur brains sensitivity and chemical make up...it wud be a normal reaction for a fuked up situation

Weed can induce dissociation because it's a hallucinogen and that is the cause of dissociation not urself !!

And that is not true either even if drugs were the cause ur brain can still get better and there are medications to use ...also u can get better by getting urself out of "safe mode" Bcoz the drug reaction put u there


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

missjess said:


> I disagree ...I've had a few overdoses and they fuk ur brain up how else u gonna react ? Depends on ur brains sensitivity and chemical make up...it wud be a normal reaction for a fuked up situation
> 
> Weed can induce dissociation because it's a hallucinogen and that is the cause of dissociation not urself !!
> 
> And that is not true either even if drugs were the cause ur brain can still get better and there are medications to use ...also u can get better by getting urself out of "safe mode" Bcoz the drug reaction put u there


MissJess, are you talking about personal experience or true scientific evidence?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Scientific evidence and things that I've read online about drugs and weed...I found somewhere that weed is a hallucinogen...hallucinogens are basiclsly dissociative drugs

Plus from my own personal experience I have overcome drug induced dp once upon a time


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

Not everybody's dp was drug induced. Regardless the substance/situation that caused it, the individual had an underlying anxiety problem and the anxiety/panic attack caused the SYMPTOM of dp/dr to surface.
The reason why the dp/dr is lingering is purely because of you fearing and obsessing over it. Plain and simple.

It's common knowledge and I don't know why everyone thinks it's so much more complex than it really is.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I wasent referring to everybody I was only speaking of drug induced.

Besides wat about dp with no fear and anxiety it's just chronic


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

katiej said:


> Shiniguiri. I get what you are saying and u are correct about it. But if I'm correct ur basically saying that when we dont think about the existence thoughts the dp is not there. That's not true for me. Existing feels weird and maybe that's because I'm caught in.the fight or flight mode at the moment. But my questions about existence are happening because I don't feel like a person at the moment. Like most of us I'm sure. So.are u saying with the existence thoughts to.ignore them and over time they will dissipate?
> I dont really have questions of any that u listed. I don't really care how i can move and space snd all that which most ppl freak out over... Mine is more like an awareness of my awareness and feeling as if I know nothing... If by doing what u say i can reverse this then I will definately try... Even the question how do I know the things I know. I dont.want the answers I just want to exist naturally like before. So its possible to overtime rewire this habit? I know that's.what's been told to me and i hear it. But sometimes you think u are too far gone... And its hard to believe. Because at the moment everything is.very frightening.


Yeah katiej I get what your saying. The Awareness part is from being scared. Being scared boost your senses of attention (dp). Really I would say dp is the product of being scared period. It only persist as long as your scared. I dont mean just scared of dp I mean scared In general. Like If someone without dp goes and watches a scary movie and get scared. Then they essentially have dp (heightened attention and focus) except they dont notice it because there too busy being scared. Then when they stop being scared the chemicals stop pumping and give or take a min or two there body returns to normal. Only problem with you is, you got scared, noticed the boost in attention and focus and then that scared you also ,because you didnt know what this new awareness was or how to make it stop.

Derealization is the existential thought thing. which usually comes after getting the boost in attention and focus (dp) I should have stated it like this in my first post as the two are linked but usually people can stop DR (existential thoughts) but are still scared therefore still have heightened senses (DP). If you can stop existential thoughts you have only beaten DR you need to also quit being scared and your boosted senses will leave as well. Does this make sense?


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

missjess said:


> I wasent referring to everybody I was only speaking of drug induced.
> 
> Besides wat about dp with no fear and anxiety it's just chronic


Dp cannot exist without fear. It is literally the chemical response to fear. Boosted attention and focus. The only other way it can exist is if some drug is forcing these chemicals out of your brain. which most uppers do.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

Also for people who got dp from drugs. No drug on the face of this earth is permanent. Drugs effect the brain temporarily. The longest lasting drug is probably a pill because they last like 24hrs. So if you did drugs a few days,weeks,months ago then dp is all being caused by you and your fear. Not the drug, that is all.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

Na I dont believe its stuck on high alert. I believe its perfectly on normal mode.I think when you truly stop being scared if even for 1 minute. Dp goes away, but as soon as you start to be scared it comes back so people never noticed they were out of the dp in the first place. At least thats what I have witnessed.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Na I agree with bill that its stuck on high alert. I will jump up in a panic attack from my sleep. My body is stuck in that mode. From my own doing course although it feels automatic.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Na I agree with bill that its stuck on high alert. I will jump up in a panic attack from my sleep. My body is stuck in that mode. From my own doing course although it feels automatic.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

Good post, I would also like to add that life really isn't that scary, we are enmeshing the fear caused by DP with the thoughts. Hyper awareness causes everything to look weird because we are focusing like crazy on it then freaking out about why they look weird.

Think about it, did you have these thoughts before DP? I did. And they caused nothing more than a fleeting moment of interest before I shrugged them off and carried on with my day.

The more you distract/ignore, the less strong DP becomes. The less strong DP becomes, the less you NEED to distract because the thoughts become that bit weaker. It's a case of reversing the direction of the cycle. It took me a few months to get the hang of it but I am getting there. You have to know and believe that this will work in order to give it a chance, stop doubting. DP can't persist without you fuelling it somehow so stop fuelling it and give yourself time to heal.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

katiej said:


> Na I agree with bill that its stuck on high alert. I will jump up in a panic attack from my sleep. My body is stuck in that mode. From my own doing course although it feels automatic.


It is stuck but needs you to signal to bring it down by losing your fear of DP, this can only happen when you are conscious by distraction/indifference to the thoughts and sensations.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Agreed. But do u agree that it takes time to coax ur mind out. Of the fear. It like gradually fades.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

I tend to distract for a few hours then remember the way I'm thinking and feeling and get upset because it didn't go


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

katiej said:


> I tend to distract for a few hours then remember the way I'm thinking and feeling and get upset because it didn't go


It has to be constant distraction, it takes time. If you keep feeling bad because it didn't go straight away then this is how you're perpertuating the cycle. You need a constant indifference mentality and let yourself gradually blend back into normal life. I'm at the stage where I feel pretty weird but don't let it sink in, I am just coasting until it all clicks back into place. You need to give your emotions at least a fighting chance of showing themselves so you can get the taste for life back.


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## retep (Mar 19, 2013)

This is one of the best posts I've seen on this site about how to perceive and handle the problem of DP/DR. Thanks Shininguri!


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

No problem retep. It makes me feel good knowing I could help people. I used to browse these forums but no one ever seemed to break it down good enough, which was so frustrating. No one addressed every worry or doubt I had about my symptoms. So I had to come back give the help I wished I could have gotten.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

No problem retep. It makes me feel good knowing I could help people. I used to browse these forums but no one ever seemed to break it down good enough, which was so frustrating. No one addressed every worry or doubt I had about my symptoms. So I had to come back give the help I wished I could have gotten.


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## retep (Mar 19, 2013)

bill said:


> What Shininguru has posted here has been posted again and again from numerous people but put in his own words.


True, but my opinion still stands.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

Bill I think what your saying is half right. As people have posted what I have said before but with WAY less detail. Which is why I would only feel better until a "well what about this" worry entered my mind.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Corinthian... I have all my emotions so what is it I'm waiting for to come back. To me it would be to just feel normal to be alive. Emotions.arnt an.issue


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

katiej said:


> Corinthian... I have all my emotions so what is it I'm waiting for to come back. To me it would be to just feel normal to be alive. Emotions.arnt an.issue


If you have room for emotions then your DP is different to mine. Either that or you are so obsessed with how you feel that you can't feel normal. Either way, the answer is the same - Distract, lose your fear, trust in letting go. Relief is not necessarily instant but you have to really keep yourself in check for as long as it takes to start feeling relief. Don't keep giving in to it! It sounds to me as if you don't believe in your recovery enough to actually let go. Trust me, all you are doing is scratching the wound time and time again, this just will not work.

You have this condition regardless, why not humour me and go a full week with not giving a f**k about it, it sure as hell can't get worse so why not try it to see if it gets better? What's the worst that can happen?

I've had this for three months now and it's taken that long for me to lose my fear of it but it is happening. Everyone who has recovered has said the same thing, you must distract/lose your fear/become completely indifferent to your symptoms and thoughts. The sooner you do this the sooner you will get over it and wish you'd done it before. There is no other way to recover that I am aware of, and you don't really need another way, just do it this way!

Have you thought about benzos to give you a kick start?


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

ah ye. Ive had this on and off for four years. like ive gone over a year without it. Comes back for about a month or two at a time. this time was just much much worse for reasons i know. (digging up trauma through therepy so my anxiety and emotional pain went through the rough) . If you have the dp like i once did where i just felt numb and like i was dead. Thats horrible but it was alot easier to walk around with. Even though at the time i admitted myself to hospital for 2 months and was on benzos. This was over three and half years ago. So being a year fully well (with little bouts of anxiety) you can see why i was devasted to have it back and in a much stronger form. If dp is what it even is. I feel more or less just traumatized from 15 panic attacks a day for the last month. That have now stopped. But now that the tsunami is over im just very confused. And i have been letting go. And the last two days have been great. Very hard to believe its dp as i said because its more of a ocd thought process and high high anxiety. I mean i howled crying all day everyday for the last 6 weeks. So my emotions are definately there. They are just disconnected from ''me'' if that makes sense.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

i almost wish i had the no emotion thing again, i feel id get over it quite easily doing as u said. But this is not what i have/feel


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

katiej said:


> ah ye. Ive had this on and off for four years. like ive gone over a year without it. Comes back for about a month or two at a time. this time was just much much worse for reasons i know. (digging up trauma through therepy so my anxiety and emotional pain went through the rough) . If you have the dp like i once did where i just felt numb and like i was dead. Thats horrible but it was alot easier to walk around with. Even though at the time i admitted myself to hospital for 2 months and was on benzos. This was over three and half years ago. So being a year fully well (with little bouts of anxiety) you can see why i was devasted to have it back and in a much stronger form. If dp is what it even is. I feel more or less just traumatized from 15 panic attacks a day for the last month. That have now stopped. But now that the tsunami is over im just very confused. And i have been letting go. And the last two days have been great. Very hard to believe its dp as i said because its more of a ocd thought process and high high anxiety. I mean i howled crying all day everyday for the last 6 weeks. So my emotions are definately there. They are just disconnected from ''me'' if that makes sense.


Crying is not proof of intact emotions...it's more of a last ditch attempt at expressing repressed emotions. Sounds to me like you just have DP maybe with some pure 'o' too.

If your last few days have been good go with it and build on that. You could be on your way to recovery.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

That would be awesome. I guess I feel as if I have my emotions but I'm disconnected from them. Nothing feels like ME. Whoever that is. I'm happy that my last two days have been good. Do u think its normal for even when.I'm feeling good like today for me to almost be expecting to feel weird as if the way I was thinking and feeling before about life was correct. Almost like i dont wanna forget the TRUTH. Even tho I desperately do. I guess doing normal things and feeling slightly normal would feel strange as ive been thinking a certain thought loop for weeks now.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

We all have our emotions somewhere but are disconnected from them, this is DP. 

You are on your way, it will get easier, just think positive! You can recover as quickly as you allow yourself to.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Thanks  I really have such crazy thoughts and feelings that seem insurmountable but I'm gonna really try keep distracting like I am doing. I think I just feel strange and sometimes cant describe it. Like have dpd half not ha.. a part of me is back in life participating whilst the other is going girl u need to freak out about how u got here and stuff. And stop playing along with this life thing... Mental argument


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

I have/had the same thing, it's nothing new although it feels scarily individual to you, trust me it's not.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

So part of dp I guess then. The whole aware of ur awareness thing.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

Corinthian said:


> Crying is not proof of intact emotions...it's more of a last ditch attempt at expressing repressed emotions. Sounds to me like you just have DP maybe with some pure 'o' too.
> 
> If your last few days have been good go with it and build on that. You could be on your way to recovery.


Crying a way of releasing internal sadness and anguish. It's a perfectly natural and very healthy way for your body to heal. It IS actually a great thing for you to do and definitely a step in the right direction in recovering from dp. Even though it doesn't feel great at the time&#8230; afterwards you'll feel much better&#8230; like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Without intact emotions it wouldn't be possible to cry.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

My emotions are fully there then. But u can be disconnected from them. As in u feel it but it doesn't feel like u. Ur self isn't there. Ive felt like a ball of emotions but no sense of self.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

katiej said:


> My emotions are fully there then. But u can be disconnected from them. As in u feel it but it doesn't feel like u. Ur self isn't there. Ive felt like a ball of emotions but no sense of self.


Yes your emotions are definitely there. I've found in the past a lot of my emotions being shielded behind a 'protective dissociative wall' and I've felt completely numb for weeks on end. But slowly they began to trickle out and I learnt to feel again without pushing them away. I learnt to 'sit with them'.

I also went through a period of a few years when I'd completely lost my sense of self. I don't know what happened, but one day I woke up and knew 'who I was'. That was a year ago, and ever since then I've never questioned who I was. I guess that's not much help only to say that don't be deterred, your sense of self will return one day when the dp starts to ease off.. Lots of questions like that seem to fall into place as you heal.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

Philos said:


> Crying a way of releasing internal sadness and anguish. It's a perfectly natural and very healthy way for your body to heal. It IS actually a great thing for you to do and definitely a step in the right direction in recovering from dp. Even though it doesn't feel great at the time&#8230; afterwards you'll feel much better&#8230; like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
> 
> Without intact emotions it wouldn't be possible to cry.


By 'intact' I meant 'functional'. The emotions are there but supressed, if they weren't suppressed there would be no need to cry.

I was basically saying that crying with DP is not necessarily a sign that your emotions are fully present and correct, it's your mind's last resort for releasing them because they are not working properly.


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## Guest (Apr 18, 2014)

Corinthian said:


> By 'intact' I meant 'functional'. The emotions are there but supressed, if they weren't suppressed there would be no need to cry.
> 
> I was basically saying that crying with DP is not necessarily a sign that your emotions are fully present and correct, it's your mind's last resort for releasing them because they are not working properly.


I think I know what you mean. I guess if you're crying, that's the emotion in the conscious mind at that time, while yes, others will be siting in the sub-concious either behind a dissociative wall or not.

Does that make sense?

Just off the topic a bit.. did you know that people with DID can have many different emotions in the conscious mind at the one time? They could be feeling joy and rage simultaneously.. Pheww. How confusing!

Sorry, I strayed..


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Interesting. DID scares me. But I think when we are in a fearful state u are afraid of everything. But yes I definately have suppressed emotions over the years. Hard to know ur even doing it alot of the time. Its a habit. Only when u develop say an anxiety. Disorder (leading.to do.in my case) do u have to go and dig then up. And thats a very scary process. Twin you go and do that and it scares the shit out of ur concious all these feelings and pain come flooding in and then I dissociated severely due to the shock of having all my traumas made concious in a.very short space of time. Because I was hysterical and in fear and pain but because it was old feelings without the thought I just felt crazy. Just jumbled suppressed feelings but the things that caused them were long gone so I couldn't pin point exactly what I was crying about. Confusion is definately the word for it. I'm now just picking myself up from the trauma of having all those feelings made concious. I don't feel in pain anymore. Just dp and almost shell shocked after the 6 weeks of what seemed like random hysteria and distress.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

And thats meant to say (leading to dp in my case) . And the "twin" is meant to say "then"


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## Guest (Apr 19, 2014)

Yes, sometimes when you get flooded with memories and emotions is does get all too much, and like you mentioned, next thing you know you're back to numb again. That's the dissociation taking over again and trying to protect you from the overload. I find keeping distracted during these times can help a lot. In that way you can learn how to pace yourself a little with dealing with the emotions and memories as they come up. It's not easy I know, but the more I practice the better I'm able to get and therefore the more stable I am. For instance, if I'm feeling overloaded with memories, I might go out to the garden and pull weeds for a while just to give my mind something else to concentrate on. that one works well.. It's a type of grounding too.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Do you think because we dont feel like our person this is why reality doesn't make sense or why u feel you've never been here before even tho it all looks the same. Like we cannot connect to ourselves therefore nothing would feel familiar. Like just feeling like lump of flesh. Like its definately a different state of consciousness. Like i said. One that's on high high alert.


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## kristikristi65 (Apr 4, 2014)

So this is my second time battling DP/DR and since a year ago I recovered about 75%. Then all of the sudden at the end of February I got the stomach bug. And then about a week after I woke up and felt like my room was unfamiliar. The first time I suffered from this nothing felt real. I just felt like everything was a dream. And now it's back in a different form. The time thing is what's disturbing me the most. Nothing looks familiar and one day feels like three days. I overcame this before but this is a different form. So someone please explain to me why it feels so different? I used Zoloft to get over my first experience and it worked pretty damn good, but now we just upped the dose and I feel even more out of it. My prescriber is just trying to feed me anti psychotics which I really don't want to take. I just want to stop feeling like a stranger in my surroundings and I really want the time thing to go away. It feels like yesterday was a year ago


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

Go back to page 1 and 2 and read my post..get off the medicine because they forced chemicals off your body. That is all.


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## Anonymity (Jul 8, 2013)

Im sorry, but it is simply not that simple. Especially when you look at the roots of DPD, with all of the present information we have on it, it confirms it is much bigger than just ignoring thoughts. I think a lot of us are going through different experiences and there is this barrier that a lot of people cant see because their 'DP' is very different than those who were destined for DPD since the day they were born.

DPD doesnt occur from a simple thought process that took us over the edge of an existential crisis. Although DP probably occurs from a thought process that sent us over the edge, the foundations of those thoughts are based off of beliefs that we accumulated when we were infants. The inevitability of DP is sometimes out of a persons control. But through DP an individual can regain real control, regardless of their upbringing.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

That's y I said read page 2 where I corrected myself and explain how dp=being scared and dr=crazy existense thoughts. Combine the two side effects of both of the and you get and endless loop of suffering. It really is that simple. You just have to accept that it is to break free. Simply put only worriers get dp/dr. Dp/Dr is just a side effect of worrying


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

can it go so deep as u literally feel like ur fooled into thinking everything u know is a lie? or that u know too much... I feel like i just arrived here. Yet i know how to do things. But i cannot stop focusing on how i know things,,, I know its a product of anxiety. but can it feel normal to be alive again and not so terrifying to be a human and look out of eyes....Is a symptom also thinking that these feelings are irreversable. Im in this state so i cant imagine feeling normal. I know im jsut very distressed right now.I was getting a little better and jsut had a huge tradgedy happen on Friday. So my anxiety is through the roof.I want to disappear.


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## Guest (Apr 24, 2014)

katiej said:


> can it go so deep as u literally feel like ur fooled into thinking everything u know is a lie? or that u know too much... I feel like i just arrived here. Yet i know how to do things. But i cannot stop focusing on how i know things,,, I know its a product of anxiety. but can it feel normal to be alive again and not so terrifying to be a human and look out of eyes....Is a symptom also thinking that these feelings are irreversable. Im in this state so i cant imagine feeling normal. I know im jsut very distressed right now.I was getting a little better and jsut had a huge tradgedy happen on Friday. So my anxiety is through the roof.I want to disappear.


My thoughts and feelings are similar to yours, they are really horrible but never give up. I have felt like giving up many times then all of a sudden felt almost like myself then felt glad I never gave up. It will have its ups an downs but ultimately it will go.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Corinthian said:


> My thoughts and feelings are similar to yours, they are really horrible but never give up. I have felt like giving up many times then all of a sudden felt almost like myself then felt glad I never gave up. It will have its ups an downs but ultimately it will go.


yes ur right.Thats what keeps me going. Do u have this feeling that it cant go. If u get me? like theres no way now that u have thought this way that it can reverse. But i suppose its hard to see it because im in a warped state of mind.


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## Guest (Apr 24, 2014)

katiej said:


> yes ur right.Thats what keeps me going. Do u have this feeling that it cant go. If u get me? like theres no way now that u have thought this way that it can reverse. But i suppose its hard to see it because im in a warped state of mind.


I believed that 100% when I first started having the thoughts, and it seemed so real but it is a delusion. When I feel good the weird thoughts seems like the delusion. Weirdly though, when I feel bad again I completely forget the good times as if they didn't happen, it's as if I trust my perception so much I believe whatever it tells me and it becomes the new 'truth'. A bit like when you have a fever and hallucinate, you don't look at the hallucinations and say "You don't scare me you're just a hallucination" you freak out.

'Normal' people hallucinate under certain circumstances and believe their hallucinations until they recover then they can see they were silly, same goes for this I guess.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

katiej said:


> can it go so deep as u literally feel like ur fooled into thinking everything u know is a lie? or that u know too much... I feel like i just arrived here. Yet i know how to do things. But i cannot stop focusing on how i know things,,, I know its a product of anxiety. but can it feel normal to be alive again and not so terrifying to be a human and look out of eyes....Is a symptom also thinking that these feelings are irreversable. Im in this state so i cant imagine feeling normal. I know im jsut very distressed right now.I was getting a little better and jsut had a huge tradgedy happen on Friday. So my anxiety is through the roof.I want to disappear.


I understand how you feel. The first time I experienced DP, I spent around ten months with these thoughts. Every waking moment these thoughts and a whole lot more rushed through my brain. Mine was the result of a thinking a bit too much about death, and my fear of dying and non-existence is what caused my DP to manifest itself the way it did. If nothing exists, I can't die. Simple, really. But I made a complete, one-hundred percent recovery. At one point during those ten months, I literally was sprawled out on the floor with total and complete brain fog. It was like I was a blob of nothingness in a non-existant world. I can't really imagine DP getting anymore intense than how I felt on that day. But I recovered. Going into details about my first recovery would largely be a waste of time since the circumstances under which it happened are kind of fuzzy. I was just focused on other things and then realized one day that I hadn't been depersonalized for some time.

Three years after that recovery, a panic attack from my fear of death once again led me into DP. In some ways, I felt worse that time. I got it at the end of May of that year and spent all of June and July obessing over it. But, at the beginning of August, I committed myself 100% to overcoming DP. What I mean by that is not that I thought really hard all day about it until I finally realized that DP was a lie. I accepted that I was depersonalized. I decided to ignore the thoughts and feelings. Those first couple of weeks were intense. But it got easier as I went along. By the time college started back at the end of the month, I was already well on my way to recovery. A month later, I was almost completely recovered. A month after that, I wasn't even thinking about it anymore because I was back in reality, and when you come back to reality, you're focused on your life again and you don't even realize that you haven't been thinking about DP because those thoughts are so silly and inconsequential.

You aren't going to logic your way out of this. Analyzing how you feel and what you think will only prevent you from recovering. You have to accept that you are afraid and that your mind is dissociating in an attempt to protect you. You have to accept that you are not going crazy, you are not permanently damaged, and that you will make a full recovery. I thought I was screwed up for life when I had DP. The first time I didn't understand what was going on. It was like some sort of magic. I thought that things would never return to normal. I thought I was screwed up for life the second time, too. But both times I made a total recovery.

I'm kinda going around in circles here, but I'm trying to communicate to you that the thoughts can and will go away. But you've got to chill out. Acceptance is the only way you're going to get better.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

On a different note, the OP is hands-down the best explanation of DP I've ever heard. It's dead-on. Read that post and then read it again. This man speaks truth.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

what post ?


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

oh right.


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## shininguri (Feb 11, 2013)

I jut remembered my bout with this struggle and came back to say I hope this post helped people get out of their struggle as well.


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