# Hi Im Ashley



## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Im Ashley, Im 22, Im from Florida but now staying in VA with my family since this started, I have been suffering from Dp/DR since going cold turkey off xanax in janurary. Its been imcreasingly difficult because i dont believe it will ever get better. It feels like im going crazy although every dr says im suffering post acute sedative withdrawl, I cant be convinced. Its a very lonely way to experience the world and it would be nice to have some people to relate to. I dont know anyone personally who has experienced this.


----------



## Alienated (Jul 1, 2012)

Hi and welcome!

First, you are not alone and you are not going crazy! What you experience is how the world looks without, or with lack of, feelings and feelings is what attaches you to everyone else and yourself. The last persons to know that they are crazy are crazy people. The fact that you simply question your sanity shows that you are sane. This is, one the other hand, the obsession with DP and one of the things that makes it stay in your head, namely the fear of going crazy and fear is one of the reasons DP occurs. Work on your fear!

Second, you can get better and cured. People in here are proof of that!


----------



## cbeck (Feb 8, 2008)

Have you visited Benzo Buddies.com site? Have you tried reinstatement of xanax and then a gradual taper? Good Luck!


----------



## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Alienated said:


> Hi and welcome!
> 
> First, you are not alone and you are not going crazy! What you experience is how the world looks without, or with lack of, feelings and feelings is what attaches you to everyone else and yourself. The last persons to know that they are crazy are crazy people. The fact that you simply question your sanity shows that you are sane. This is, one the other hand, the obsession with DP and one of the things that makes it stay in your head, namely the fear of going crazy and fear is one of the reasons DP occurs. Work on your fear!
> 
> Second, you can get better and cured. People in here are proof of that!


Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement and taking the time. Im just terrified and not even the best specialists can convince me of my sanity. But once I can let go of the fear of insanity I feel I can break free. I dont know how to do that though.


----------



## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Cbeck- I have visited benzo support.org but I'll try the other thank you. And yes my doctor reintroduced klonopin and Valium ( I refused Xanax) ... I'm off the Valium at night and working down on the kpins but it really has only helped to keep me from panic attacks all day and fainting and feelin like im gonna die; dp and other weird symptoms still very present- which is exactly why I fear this is something bigger- and I'm 22 a very at risk age for sz. my doctor explained to me though that the benzos don't make me magically feel normal again because there has been changes in my brain due to my seizures and cold turkey withdrawl my whole brain has been mis wired and needs to mend. Plus I have PTSD from my withdrawl cuz It was so horrific.


----------



## cbeck (Feb 8, 2008)

Im sorry the site is http://www.benzobuddies.org there are plenty of helpful people there, and some may give you some helpful tips. Most will tell you that your doc is right. It will just take time to heal the brain and re-wire itself after the shock. Sorry this happened to you. Hang in there!


----------



## Alienated (Jul 1, 2012)

You are experiencing the same as I did when I was 19. I don't need to explain how things was for me since you have already described it. My point is that you need to start controlling your anxiety and regain control of your body. This is hard work, but completely doable. Your nervous state is not easy to take away over night, but your panic-attacks needs to be stopped since these are a living hell and cause further anxiety for you.

You pass out because you hyperventilate and start to panic. In other words, you breathe too fast and much when you are nervous, causing excessive expulsion of circulating carbon dioxide. This is *not* dangerous, but it causes very unpleasant symptoms.

Hyperventilation can cause symptoms such as raising of the heart beat, numbness or tingling in the hands, feet and lips, lightheadedness, dizziness, headache, chest pain, flexor spasm of hands and feet, slurred speech, nervous laughter and as final result fainting. Some also feel like their chest-muscles loose their strength and they can't get air. This is because your chest-muscles are not ment for breathing and they get exhausted. Therefor you have to concentrate on breathing with your stomach-muscles.

As you can see, your breathing makes up for many or most of the worst aspects of your panic attacks and is therefor a key element in the process of controlling your anxiety.

When panic and hyperventilation happens, you simply need carbon dioxide added to your blood-stream. Here is where the "breathing into a bag"-trick is often used. When you exhale you release the carbon dioxide, just like a car engine releases the exhaust from the tale-pipe. To get your breathing back to normal in a panic-attack you have to either increase the level of carbon dioxide in your bloodstram or decrease the level of oxygen. Therefor a bag over your mouth is a very good trick. This will make you breath in your own carbon dioxide again.

The other and easiest thing to do is to hold your breath for 10 seconds (which is the opposite of what you feel like since it feels like you don't get enough air) and then start breathing slow by using your stomach instead of your chest. Then breath in and out in 3 second loops and continue until you feel the symptoms fading.

Your DP will still stay for a while as long as you have anxiety and panic. It is a symptom of anxiety and therefor you will struggle with DP until you get a hold of your anxiety. Accept this and focus on beating your fear.

Now, DP is the third largest mental disorder on the planet, but also the most commonly unknown. Schizophrenia is not by far! Therefor there is no direct link between the two, simply because everyone that suffers from DP is not Schizophrenic. You have DP because of your anxiety! I have worked in mental hospital for several years and I promise you that *the last people who know that they are crazy are the crazy ones*. This does not mean that you have to start obsessing with this statement and always check that you act normal. Many with DP obsess with this and it keeps them afraid and constantly in a state of trying to keep monitoring everything they do and make sure that they are not going crazy. Don't fall into this trap! You need to focus on working with your anxiety and panic attacks.

Also, ask yourself: How do you know that people with Schizophrenia experience DP and the same things you do? Many with Schizophrenia has it a lot better than you do, believe me, so they would probably want Schizophrenia instead of panic-attacks and DP if they had the choice. Don't think that crazy people (as many call them) is in a constant loss of control and fear. Its simply not the truth. A person who is psychotic is a person that "dreams when he is awake". Do you always have nightmares when you dream? No! Therefor being crazy is not a constant living nightmare, so don't let psychosis scare you so much. DP and anxiety is often much more unpleasant, simply because you get scared by this disorder, which is very normal. It is scary because it makes us think that we are going crazy when the world and ourselfs feel unreal and then you think that crazy is constant panic and loss of controll. Understand that this is not the case, but rather a product of your interpretation of DP compared to what you think being crazy is like. I am sorry to disappoint you, but your interpretation is incorrect. DP and crazy is not the same. DP is a feeling, or more correct a lack of contact with your feelings, while psychosis are hallusinations of things that are not there. Don't mistake a feeling for being a hallusination.

I hope this can help you a bit. I have been where you are now and I am still not crazy. Not by far. I have DP, though.


----------

