# deja vu



## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

does anyone have extreme deja vu like experiences? I will get into these situations where i feel like i did everything before or like i am living in the past or something. It's very strange to feel that way and i didnt know if that was another common thing that happens with this. I just went to my friends farm for the day and when we got back to "civilization" I felt like i had totally lost touch with myself and my surroundings. i'm still feeling a little stressed out but thats what the benzos are for i guess. I kept having the thought on the way back, this is the day i went insane. Not only was this a scary thought, but somehow i was thinking about it in the past tense. any thoughts?


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Just more overthinking. You know logically that this is the present and that it hasn't already happened, etc. but that won't stop your mind from torturing with you about it.

Deja Vu does seem to happen more in DP/DR and anxious states. I get it quite often. I always do something bizarre to get rid of it - something its clear i've never done before. Its stupid since Deja Vu is just a feeling, but it makes me uncomfortable so I have to 'prove' to myself that this hasn't already happened.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I've always had a lot of deja vu... And more when dp'd.. I read somewhere that dp makes some kind of delay between memory and ..uhm, something. This isn't very helpful, sorry, but the thing is, that is what deja vu is too. A delay between your eyesight and memory I think. The more experienced I get with dp, the more I've come to understand that "everything" is "normal" when it comes to sensations and thoughts. And when the dp's gone, you can't believe (or remember) how strange you used to feel. That is my most comforting thought at the moment


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

york,

have you had dp before and it completely went away? if so, was it as bad as it is now or is it worse now? i'm starting to think that i had this once before but it manifested itself in a much different way. When i was in highschool i would dissociate and feel far away from things, but if i just smoked a cigarette or something i would often come back to feeling normal again. I also started feeling like i had "vision" problems which could have been the derealization. I dont know what the hell is going on, its really messed up to be able to still live and have a girlfriend and talk to your family and still feel as crazy as i do right now.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I first experienced DP after having a panic attack when I was 16. It was really bad, I felt like I didn't recognize myself or my friends or any of my normal surroundings. I can't remember how it went away, I fled I think, moved away from home and felt better gradually (it was at least a year before I got better, and even then I would get dp if I visited my old hometown.) Then i was fine for eight years, then I had an episode of dr but it wasn't too scary, it was just like being behind a veil. It went away with benzos after a month.. THEN I had another panic attack february-08, and this time I was left with really bad dp, I just lost myself and had a horrible feeling in my head all the time. I somehow managed to go to meditation classes once a week and then I found out I was pregnant, and it went away the day after that. Just woke up and it was gone! One month after giving birth however I suffered yet another panic attack, and I freaked out thinking the dp would come back, and it did.... Now it's worse than ever, I have absolutely no clue as to who I am or where I am, I'm stuck inside my apartment all week except when I go to my CBT sessions.. I think staying inside makes it worse, I'm having all kinds of crazy feelings, like feelings I had when I was a kid, or the feeling I'm in my old house again. I know it's anxiety related and that it can go away in a second, so I'm trying not to lose hope. Thank God for benzos though!


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

wow well that is encouraging and discouraging at the same time. Glad to know it can go away but i'm definitely the kind of person that would be just waiting for it to come back which would likely cause that to happen. Yeah the benzos are a life saver, although i fear ever trying to come off of them. So when you woke up and it was just gone, i mean you had no doubt that it was gone? because i've had that feeling before and then realized i was just having a "good" day. The dp never really went away i was just able to ignore it for a short period of time. I would love to just wake up and be like whoa, i'm me again..i have so much i want to get done!


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

The thing is, my life was really good before getting dp last year, so when I had my pregnancy to focus on, it was easy to get back to being normal..If that makes sense. Everything clicked into place, home felt like home, I really don't know how it happened, diversion of thought is powerful I guess  Everything was perfect, throughout my pregnancy I couldn't remember even how the dp had felt. It felt different than this time around though, I feel SO scared and so lost now, it's like the dp is more mixed up with every aspect of my life than last time. I've kind of thought my life to shreds, so feeling fine again will be harder now, I've questioned every bit of reality too many times. 
It might be because I _physically_ feel fine now, whilst last time I had this tense feeling and weird vision all the time... So I knew when it was gone when it was gone. Now I have lost all trust in reality, I don't know how you heal thoughts like that..


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