# depersonalization Questioning religion



## real50tyson (Feb 20, 2012)

i have always been a firm believer in god and i am a catholic, but ever since i got depersonalization, i started questioning my religion and the meaning in life alot. I questioned if whether or not god exist, i almost feel like im turning into an athiest, i feel really bad for this this and deep inside me i feel like im wrong for questioning this, and i really want to believe in god but since depersonalization i started questioning this alot and its scaring me. i just feel so bad and scared for questioning god and my religion. I also read somewhere that spiritual enlightment means being possessed by a demon. On top of that everything feels so fake and unreal i feel like i died and this is hell. Its a scary feeling and thought. I fucking hate Depersonalization. I just want to have normal life again.


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## real50tyson (Feb 20, 2012)

I fucking love you man you don't how good it is to hear that...i love you


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Don't worry, questioning is just a thought, it does t mean that's what you feel or believe, it's just an anxiety produced thought. If your faith is as deep as it that, it will probably survive.


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2012)

***** said:


> I'ts very interesting because I think that all dp sufferers are having this.
> I alawyes used to believe in god more then not believing in him but since I got dp my my belief is simply sucked out from me forcefully.
> it's as if god does not want me to believe in him.
> 
> ...


I am so relieved to read this. This is the very issue I am discussing in therapy and the psychologist just look likes at me like yeah everybody questions their faith. I said you don't understand before this condition came on I had a strong faith. Like intrinsically I had this innate faith in God and just a general sense of comfort about how life works things out. After this condition, it was like my faith, spirituality was stripped from me. Like forced Atheism. This is it there is nothing more just getting older waiting to die. It has been one of the more disturbing effects of being in this state. Yes I have questioned things before, but this is just on a whol other level.


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## real50tyson (Feb 20, 2012)

***** said:


> I'ts very interesting because I think that all dp sufferers are having this.
> I alawyes used to believe in god more then not believing in him but since I got dp my my belief is simply sucked out from me forcefully.
> it's as if god does not want me to believe in him.
> 
> ...


Exactly man it feels like my faith in God has been completely sucked out of me...its such a horrible feeling.


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## Guest (Mar 4, 2012)

I never believed in a higher being so it`s not a problem for me. That means, I don`t subscibe to a god, but they may exist. So I`m not an atheist either, haha.


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## beautiijunkii (Jun 26, 2012)

Wow! This totally describes everything I'm feeling right now. I've been suffering with depersonalization for over 4 years now and for more than 3 years I've been questioning my religion/beliefs. I just went to Google and typed in "questioning religion" and this thread came up. I didn't even say anything about having depersonalization. It's so crazy how a lot of our symptoms are so similar. I really feel scared because I've always believed in God and I was raised a christian and never had any doubts about my faith or anything until I got sick. Now, it's like my soul has been sucked out of me. And it's not like I chose to not believe, it's like it was just wiped from me. So weird and scary. I don't know what to do.


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## brianjones (Sep 14, 2011)

This is odd.

Depersonalization showed me the importance of belief. Considering many people here would assosciate their DP anguish with certain feelings of meaningless, absurdity, loneliness, helplessness -these seem to be crises of faith--faith in the outside world, faith in the person in the mirror. I mean DP is a existential crisis of a psychotic proportion--isn't it?

But for you it did the opposite. Although I still don't believe in god and never did, I still think that belief in anything is so important to wanting to live. I mean I was suicidal, and that was because I KNEW that life was meaningless, I knew that friends and family were illusions, that I was condemned to be alone, that the universe is so indifferent to my existence--that I could die tomorrow and none of you would really care, the world would keep spinning--I KNEW that all those russians who were killed under Stlalin suffered and died for no reason and their bodies have long since been eaten by parasites and their lives meant shit all--and I still know these things. The thing is I believe in my family again, I believe in my friends again, I believe in the things I used to love again. Hell-- I believe in the outside world again and will never question its existence. I belief that life has meaning--and that requires a step of faith--like believing in god. I mean I can tell you right now--there is no scientific consensus that says life is important. That is a matter of faith to believe that or not .


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## SSJ3Lotokun (Nov 21, 2011)

Once the seeds of doubt are planted it's never quite the same, even if you do go back to the church. You'll view things differently from everyone else and feel left out of what they feel.

This is a good thing! Questioning your faith can lead to a happier healthier existance.

Nobody is born with belief. It's something indoctrinated in us at a young age. Questioning is the natural state of things. Without that we'd still be in the Stone Ages.


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