# Dont know if i am real



## caitmac (Feb 16, 2016)

Hi everyone,

So I'm 17 years old, and recently I've been having feelings of dp/dr. Basically for the past month or so, 24/7 ive felt like nothing around me is real. I had an episode like this before, but it only lasted two days. I constantly think about the state of my existence and how we are really here, yet at the same time i feel like i cant quite latch on to my being. I feel like I've been locked in this world inside my head the past few weeks. The world is made up of fear and nothing, to the point of were all this nothing prevents me from thinking concrete thoughts. Ive been so caught up in this world that i find it hard to believe that anything outside of it is real. I've been to a psychiatrist and hes given me medication which ive been on for 3 weeks, but I dont feel like it is helping.

After some more research, I came across existential OCD. I've had HOCD in the past, could this also be OCD?

I'm so lost and scared and I feel like nothing is real and its so frightening.


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## Allez (Apr 10, 2013)

What diff would it make if it was "real" or not. That's just a human concept.

Take the awareness out of your mind and put it into your body.






Do this daily for two weeks, and see if you notice a difference. It takes 45 min.


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## 58779 (Jan 7, 2016)

I am similar to you in experience. I was diagnosed OCD in my teen years. I wasn't officially diagnosed Harm OCD (that's what HOCD is right?) but I didn't talk about that to the doctors and it was definitely it..it subsided after a couple of years. Now 10 years passed and I am struggling with the feelings of non-existence, brought on by extreme philosophical thoughts. The difference is I feel non-existent too not just outside world. What a weird and stupid sensation when you think about it but it is there.

This may be OCD with dp/dr feelings, not depersonalization disorder since it seems yours is brought by existential thoughts, too. I am not sure. Medications I used also did not help me. I am sorry I have nothing practical to add besides I had OCD too so this could be it again, but you are not alone. There are also people in the forums going through similar things.

Anyway, do not feel hopeless and scared because many people recovered from these kinds of problems.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

Allez said:


> What diff would it make if it was "real" or not. That's just a human concept.
> 
> Take the awareness out of your mind and put it into your body.
> 
> ...


Allez how do you do this if you have no connection to your body at all? I am not asking to be argumentative I am actually asking. I feel like my body is "gone" ghostly whatever. And it actually feels horribly uncomfortable to lay on my back without me being in my body. I can't imagine being able to do this.


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## Allez (Apr 10, 2013)

You try as best as you can to focus your awareness on the parts of the body that he says, whether or not you feel connected to it, or feel it at all.


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## socky_b81 (Jan 27, 2016)

Yup, I know these feelings too well too. What is the cause of your OCD? Dig deep and determine that and once you do you might feel slightly better just by doing that. To me, anxiety is about control and some trauma experienced at a younger age... most of the time we aren't even aware of what that trauma was.


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