# please help me I am suicidal



## alegoribar (Mar 1, 2010)

i have had dp and dr for 15 years! i am lost, confused, in severe lonliness an pain, help me please! i am lost, i want to die! i cannot handle this anymore!


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Alegoribar-

I know how you feel and ive been in that situation a couple of times this past month. 
Are you taking any medication for the DP/DR or do you have anything to take at the moment like Klonopin?

If you think that you will harm yourself or are in danger, please go to the emergency room, and let them know whats going on, and how u feel.
They may be able to help you.

I can only imagine the pain that you've been through for so long, and i am sorry that you are suffering so bad, but we are all here to help you get through this.


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## Tim (Jul 17, 2009)

It's a shame how dp attacks happiness, like AIDS attack immune cells. And it's a shame how people don't relise that something afflicting your mind is twice as bad as something afflicting your body, but I bet your sadly aware of all this.. Suicide sounds like such a releif, like a hammer smashed down on a stereo.. No more static no more noise, but even in the midst of all this there is something that makes you happy? Isn't there anything that can make you look forward to tommarow? I didn't have anything to live for for a long time, living was just such a pain in the ass, but I found something that makes me happy, after so long in the dark it feels SO good to have a positive look onto the next day. What got my mind out of the gutter is books.. Reading, Il leave my house, have a mini cigar and just read a book in the park, no noise no shouting (but not complete silence, which is good) and I just sit, and read. Clears my mind, and it's something to do. Just find something simple and beutifull, take a deep breath and sit down and try to enjoy whatever it is.

This is what worked for me, just an opinion.


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## Ivan Hawk (Jan 22, 2010)

Go to my topic "Express your feelings through music" and post songs from youtube that relate to how you feel: http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/20274-express-your-feelings-through-music/ 
music and art really help me a lot. I actually feel some of the greatest peace in the world from them.

now if your still feeling down, read the rest.









I know when I'm in this state of depression, I'm also in an extremely high state of anxiety towards everything in the world. (for example, i could write 5 of these posts and delete them all - wasting hours of work in fear of what everyone else would think of my writing. it's really that strong.)
and with essays ...hah, unimaginable. actually I've taken and passed my 3 main basic English composition courses for college - but boy, that was some hell. my anxiety required some ultra relaxation some moments and I had to literally make backups of my essays just in case I wanted to delete everything and save them with a fresh new paragraph - new topic. psh, when the old topic was just fine and actually pretty damn good when i re-read them later when my anxiety was lower at some moment.

Yeah, it's generally not like the phobic, social, shaking and moving robotic type of anxiety with a pounding heart - but a deep anxiety towards everything that comes and goes and when I'm depressed it's a powerful anxiety towards all the negative crap in the world.

I've found that meditation can sometimes help. it depends really, but just sitting down and squeezing and relaxing different muscles (especially the facial muscles and those around the forehead to get a lot of extra blood flow to the face and brain) helps you loosen up before the meditation. a little bit of stretch also. then listen to the current thoughts and start shoving them around, get very angry with them, let them do everything they can possibly do and just fight it with everything you've got...visualize the negative thoughts growing massive and then exploding into dust leaving only sunlight, and warmth - keep visualizing the negative thoughts - every single one of them coming together and just exploding and fading out... harness that true feeling of moving on with your life ...the feeling of everything being delt with with and only warmth on your face to remain. Don't go lightly, the whole mind must be restored to it's natural comfort it once had as a child - the sensations of happiness with even the simplest of things. True happiness. 
once you feel you've done enough of the visualizations for the day, begin the meditation and clear everything, feel different parts of your body come into focus and feel the solid white secure flame of peace in your nervous system and feel a hardening shield of power towards your present and your future towards everything.
sanding down the extremely rough worn and peeling wooden surface to a smooth finish and re-applying stain and polyurethane to a brilliant mirror shine.

feels weird giving advice when I also posted a depressed topic the other day lmao, but sh1t - i'm just manic like that. I'm still on my journey too, but eh - i feel I've made some progress understanding things better. and I absolutely know my social anxiety has faded away about 95%+ funny enough. Ever since I started college , I just started talking to people more and going on dates and the social phobia that once existed is now this happy charm where I feel a lot of happiness from talking to people in person a lot of times - heh probably too much in some situations. Of course, there's still the a-holes out there too, but it's a lot easier to see who's truely a saddist and who's merely sarcastic but still genuine and respectful. Having the extra truth in your perceptions of others really helps you relax and allows you to totally avoid the wrong people before you even talk to them for the most part heh heh. I personally believe the state's public education system for grade school is a mental disorder provoking disaster from the start and my social anxiety days literally faded once I finally graduated and got out of that shight hole lmao. uhg, they could atleast have the decency to design the program more efficiently to where everyone graduates by the 8th grade. jesus christ, we waste extremely valuable years of our life re-learning the same crap over and over and over - why not have a very thorough and precise learning process that works better and faster with less grades. The only times we actually get to enjoy ourselves in grade school are when we are either not in class and not sleeping and some don't have a happy experience at all because it's completely absurd to their way of life from the beginning, like in my case along with millions of others who just don't feel right being forced into extremely boring education that holds little grasp on their mind compared to the extremely brilliant educational materials that are highly interesting and highly valuable towards leading an extremely successful career and perhaps even introducing new ideas or inventions into the world - etc. kids grew up early in the past, they can still grow up early now -but the grade school keeps them younger than their true age for sure and that is one key behind the depression in college in my view. hah there are many other reasons too, the economy, government, society, perhaps too much technology that distracts us from interacting with the world outside of a camera lens, computer screen, iphone, etc...interacting in and with the world without electronic synthetic artificial virtual reality means of communication hehe.







and yes, i'm certainly hypocritical in this particular previous statement for saying it through a computer on the virtual internetz lol, as well as being addicted to computers. *sigh* computers and nature - nature and computers.

how do you feel now?


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## IQ (Mar 20, 2007)

Best advice I can give is to simply stop. Be as still as possible. Go to somewhere of natural surrounding like a beach or a river and just stand there. Stop. Listen to what the world is telling you. You may find it freaks you out at first, that's ok. When reality talks to you after so many years its so foreign it feels very intense. It may not cure you, but it may just take the edge off. Certainly helps me anyway.


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## WANTTOBEBETTER (May 4, 2009)

IQ said:


> Best advice I can give is to simply stop. Be as still as possible. Go to somewhere of natural surrounding like a beach or a river and just stand there. Stop. Listen to what the world is telling you. You may find it freaks you out at first, that's ok. When reality talks to you after so many years its so foreign it feels very intense. It may not cure you, but it may just take the edge off. Certainly helps me anyway.


IQ,
your avatar really freaks me out.


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## IQ (Mar 20, 2007)

WANTTOBEBETTER said:


> IQ,
> your avatar really freaks me out.


LOL. Its me! Just trying to show how I feel when I look at myself sometimes.


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## Ivan Hawk (Jan 22, 2010)

IQ said:


> LOL. Its me! Just trying to show how I feel when I look at myself sometimes.


LOL very interesting. For me, it's like, I see too much distortion around my eyes not being able to really feel like they are mine and stuff.


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