# Australia qualify for the World Cup



## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

I went fvcking spastic.

Helped my DP.

btw the last (and only) time was 1974.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

Tell me about it !!!

I made a point of not trying to watch the game because if they lost I'd be to pissed off to sleep. Anyhow I got sucked in half way through the second half and that was it. I had to watch to the end. The extra time was stressing me out as I was so hoping it would not end in a penalty shootout and sure enough it did. But we won!!!!! I involuntarily jumped off the couch pumping my fist in the air - the excitement possessed me for 30sec or so. Needless to say my DP completely disappeared.

Reticent, I thought your English and here for work? Correct me if I'm wrong, which I probably am.

Go Aussies!!!


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

I was born here but grew up in England.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Yes, congratulations Oz-people. More lambs for the slaughter. But FIFA will probably fix it that you get in a group containing Trinidad, Saudi Arabia and Angola, just so that you manage to stumble through to the Quater Finals and meet someone like - well, I dunno, lets say England, who you will with superhuman effort manage to keep the score down to a single digit defeat. 

Crap at Cricket too. Oh, and Rugby. Tee hee. The revenge of it...the glory. *Give us our colony back, in the way we left it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

NB - Americans: We are talking about Soccer.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

For a country with only 20 million people, with a sporting budget only a poofteenth of say China, Europe or the US, we still managed to come third in the last Olympic medal tally. Where was England?

We still may have a miniscule chance in the Soccer as some of the Aussie team members play for you English folk when they're not representing Australia. You have just unwittingly trained your own enemy. Now that would hurt if we beat you.

And if you beat us in cricket or rugby it's only because we let you - out of pity.

The fortitude of the colony plus the multiculturism we have today has made Australia what it is - one of the best places on this planet to live. You English can have the colony the way you left it, we've got it much better now. The biggest mistake the English made was that they should have left the convicts in England and migrated here. The convicts must have been the happiest criminals at that time, laughing at the idiots back home. Anyhow you guys might as well rug up because it must be getting miserably cold there about this time of year :wink:

Good to see you back Marty!


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

> For a country with only 20 million people, with a sporting budget only a poofteenth of say China, Europe or the US, we still managed to come third in the last Olympic medal tally. Where was England?


Fair enough, we are currently terrible at Athletics. But in a country of circa 60 million, we get NO government funding for ANY sport. It all comes from the National Lottery, and then only grudgingly. I'm well chuffed we have the next games, but we are going to be so terrible at it we are likely to come behind Belarus and Zanzibar in the medal tables.



> The fortitude of the colony plus the multiculturism we have today has made Australia what it is - one of the best places on this planet to live. You English can have the colony the way you left it, we've got it much better now. The biggest mistake the English made was that they should have left the convicts in England and migrated here. The convicts must have been the happiest criminals at that time, laughing at the idiots back home


Ha, good point. Can't argue with that. :lol:



> Anyhow you guys might as well rug up because it must be getting miserably cold there about this time of year


You have no idea. It's getting so cold my eyeballs have frozen into 'staring straight ahead' position.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

Seriously Martin, move to Australia, the extra sunlight and the great weather can only to you good (not to mention the extreme therapy you will get from watching the many topless babes and the beach). It may well free you of all this neurotic craziness you're going through. Think about it. I know a few English contractors who are making a killing and enjoying the lifestyle to boot. Actually my sister's x was one such person doing that. For all of you DPers enduring the miserable/depressing cold, come to the land down under. You won't be disappointed.


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## Guest (Nov 21, 2005)

I plan to when I'm older. Intend emigrating for a year in a few years though. Can't wait to get out of this cunt of a country. :


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

I'm watching the new and final 'Office' special in the background. Bloody funny show. Gotto love that Gareth.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

Mr Mole, when you do we'll have to catch up and drink some of the good Aussie bear that we make (not the Fosters or similar stuff that people are familiar with


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I'd love to Milan. But you'd have to hook me up with a marriage-desperate middle-aged woman before I come, so I can get citizenship. If you can sort that for me, and possibly a well-paid, highly unstressfull job, then I'll be there like a shot.

Oh, and sort all the legal stuff out - like laywers, passports, buying a house by the beach, securing a life-times supply of tranquilizers.

I agree Moley...this country stinks of rats shit. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, but, in our case, the grass *is* fucking greener on the other side. Still, look on the bright side, we've only got another five months of unrelenting grey skys, bollock freezing cold, rain, fog, sleet and a wind so icy that it stops your heart beating. Not to mention that the public services that will, any_ second now_, come to a grinding halt at the first sign of 'extreme' weather. HA! Extreme. Two snowflakes in Berkshire, or a light downpour in Southampton and CALAMITY! I also expect the Firemen to go on strike, again, soon, just when we need them most. And the pensioners must really be looking forward to the months between October and April, when unless you are Lord or Lady Wanksmith-Jones, every day is a struggle to stay alive because of the weather and the fact that nobody gives a shit about them, especially the government or their children. And we're the 5th richest country in the world !!! HA HA HAH HAH HA HA HAH.

But, of course, all that matters in this country is what the 'Daily Mail' says. Yes. Kill *all* Asylum seekers. Don't just lock them away indefinately or deport them back to their country of origin to await torture and death, why not just kill them here!! Them and anyone who's skin is 'a bit brown'. Then whip the country up into hysteria about 'bird-fucking-flu'. RUN FOR THE HILLS. BLAME SOMEONE! IT WAS THE ASYLUM SEEKERS FAULT. Oh, and our 'Nuclear Detterent'. Apparently our 400 trident missiles (each one with the power of 50 Hirosima bombs) isn't enough. We need some more at the cost of 30 billions pounds. Just in case we need to destroy ANOTHER ENTIRE PLANET, and just because the horse eating FRENCH have 401 trident missiles. I suppose we could always fire our nuclear missiles down the underground if anyone Asian with a rucksack looks a bit 'funny'. That would sort them right out.

Oh, and while we're at it, don't forget to stick our tongues right up America's arsehole, despite the rest of the population of the planet thinking they are lead by raving religious madmen with the IQ of an Orangutan. A SENILE Orangutan with a look on his face like he has just secretly wanked off behind our backs and is proud of it, and with a foreign and domestic policy that smacks of near insanity.

Oh, and yes - Daily Mail readers. Don't forget to vote NO when (if) we get a referendum on joining the Euro. Oh no, why would we possibly want to tie ourselves closer to our europeans cousins, and indulge and share their differing cultures, ideals, ways of life. NO ! VOTE NO !!!! We want to have keep our country isolated (except for sucking America's nipple every now and again, for comfort) with more and more petty fucking rules and where every town looks like every other, and instead of having a passion for food and life, we instead drink ourselves into an early grave, but not before pissing over the English channel at the French or sneering drunkenly at the Spanish or Italians.

And while we're at it, the Scottish, Irish and Welsh can go and rot and die for all the Daily Mail cares. What significance have they? NONE.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

The Daily Mail is scaremongering crap. So utterly fascist too.

And we all know that the Welsh are the most perfect race to walk this Earth. Absurd.


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

It's funny that england won in cricket, since it isn't played in school or anything. I'm actaully suprised england managed to get a team together. I've told a few people that, they didn't like it.

I wonder why Australia wins :roll:

You know Australia isn't a bad team (soccer)

Harry Kewell (Liverpool) Englishmen should know what he can do
Marco Bresciano (Parma)
Vince Grella (Parma)
Mark Viduka (Middlesborough)
Jason Culina (PSV Eindhoven)
Mark Schwarzer (Middlesborough)
Tim Cahill (Everton)

Few other dutch and spanish players. They should compete.

England make them look like crap* on paper though.

*understatement


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

Milan said:


> Mr Mole, when you do we'll have to catch up and drink some of the good Aussie bear that we make (not the Fosters or similar stuff that people are familiar with


Fosters is what we piss out after drinking the good stuff.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

You make a good point Reticent, but with the exception of Mark Schwarzer, the rest are very much bench players or, at the moment, are exceptionally out of form. Kewell hasn't played a good game in about 4 years.

But as you say, just like when Greece won in 2004, it's about the team ethic. England have, man for man, possibly the best team in the world at the moment (we just beat the Argies, the favourites for the cup), but our problem is (to quote a vicar in a brothel) rising to the occassion when it matters. Who knows. If we can (to quote again) perform consistently over the series of matches, I think we have a decent chance.

But I think that everytime, and still end up watching with mounting horror as we miss the penalty shoot-out for the fucking 10,000,000th time before drowning myself in a vat of beer and crying under my sheets for a week, trying to block out the screams of delight from the Germans/Brazilians as they tear around the streets in their cars with flags waving from the windows wondering why the rest of english population isn't politely congratulating them on their victory, and who secretly (or not so) wants them and their family dead in the gutter.

Let the fair play begin! I bet we get the Brazilians, the Italians and some dark horse like Ghana in our group. And therefore - three or four splendid 90 minute doses of agonising fear in front of the TV. I'm stocking up on Valium.


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm english so I know as much about it as you. I don't think England have the best team man for man, Brazil easily have players that stack up. Kewell played a good game on Wednesday, I think 4 years is a bit of an exaggeration. I think englands main problem is having a shit coach that doesn't know how to tactically play the team.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

Reticent, how long have you lived in Austrailia vs England? Do you consider yourself more English or Australia?

Martin, if I found a stress free job that was paying really well I wouldn't be giving it away!

Also I don't think England is as bad as you make it out to be. Still better than most of the world.


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