# Jesse's Poetry- Guardian Angel



## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I'm going to use this new thread to write all of my poetry in rather than creating a new topic each time.

*So this is the latest one- please give me your thoughts.*

_I've changed my mind about giving personal ratings to my poems. Poems such as For a Moment Apart are pure feelings and I dont think I can put a scale on that. It just is._

*Guardian Angel (about my grandpa)*

Always forward moving,
through the fog, the rain,
and the storm. Soft voice
soothing, you shelter me
in your arms.

Wind rushing, the trees are
flailing, cold moving in
with darkness assailing.
Always with you, forever
my heart is staying.

For you are my knight,
my blissful shore on
starry nights. You
are my guardian, your
soul shines brilliant
colored lights in your eyes.

Even hero's die, leaving
the living wondering why
and we cry, cry, cry. You
left a piece of yourself 
inside, a loving, tender,
side I'll never hide.

My heart left shattered 
when you died, what happened
to my protector, my knight
in which I confide. Flashing
figments and partially seen,
waking I chase after broken
dreams.

You're the bravest I've
ever seen, take me up again
on your wings. Pain right now
as venom stings, warm memories
again a smile they bring.

Your armour rests, you wore
it proud, hugged against your
chest, darkness and clouds as
beaten opponents fall to the 
ground.

Soft voice soothing, you kissed
my brow, you will wear your armour
now? My only prayer is that one
day I'll be, a knight for someone as
you were for me.

*Loved and Lost*

One mistake and now all
I'm say-in is I need you,
I need you. And after all 
we were once, we were once 
in love, once in love.

Every day I close my eyes
and see your face, I see
your face. Fall and flowers
I cry for hours when I dream
of us, I dream of us.

Through all of Spring, we'd
merrily sing until pain
Summer would bring and I'd
fall on my knees, down on
my knees.

Forever torn my soul shall
be, from that day you left me,
you left me. Here I remain, 
seeking clarity. She loved
me, she loved me.

Tears well, and will, and well,
I loved her, I loved her.

*The Room*

I stand motionless at the end of a long hallway.
Intermittent little lights on the ceiling valiantly 
attempt to fight off the darkness. 
The constant thumping sound breaks me from my trance
and I begin to walk down the shadowy path.

The thumping becomes louder as I make my way. This
is the day. I walk ever closer to the door at the 
end. That door with the light brimming all around it;
it's so inviting.

Wow. Before I realized it, I've reached the door. My
hand grasps the cold metal handle. I take a deep breath
as I enter the room. A pulsating wave of techno-music
nearly forces me back a step, but I move on. Through the
crowds and flashing, flickering, multi-colored lights, 
I move on. Nobody notices my movement.

Now here am I. I'm in the center of the rave. Something
isn't right. Oh yes, the pill. I should have taken it a
half hour ago. No matter. I reach in my pocket and find
it though I notice before I can take it that the eyes
of everyone around me are focused on my soul. What's 
wrong with their eyes?

...Their eyes...They're completely white...all of them..
I notice a brief half-smile on the pale, sweating faces
of the people who have now formed a circle around me.
Before I can blink...they all bare their pointed teeth
with a hiss. The lights go out and the music stops just
before I can.....scream.

*Renewal*

Demons fly above a dark prison 
that holds many men. There I 
lie in my coffin, bound in chains
and with a white film over my eyes.
Curiously I see a hole punch 
through the darkness. A glorious
trumpet sounds and a golden nectar
falls from heaven upon my face.

It rushes and sloshes all over my
body and spills over until it finally
settles. There i lie in my coffin,
bound in chains and with a white film
over my eyes. Yet curiously the 
golden nectar seeps into my skin. I
feel it now. The chains are gone.
The blindness has been removed from
my vision. My lips are upturned
into a sparkling white smile and my
eyes begin to gleam.

I rise from my life-long prison 
into the air with my arms outstretched,
my head tilted back, and my eyes closed
while the smile never leaves my face.
Portals of white light form circles
on my body until I am covered by the
colors of heaven. I am whole once more.

*Suicidal Ideation*

Worthless, ugly and a pile of sh^#.
Nothin to do now, but have a drink
and get hit. The ink on my arms
reminds me I have to stay. Maybe I
won't always feel this way.

More and more drinks to wash the
world away. That will only last
until the next day when it'll
all come back far worse. The
temporary relief only causes
misery on top of pain. Drink
it all away, you're doing this
in vain.

Problems remain tomorrow and the
day after. There must be another
solution besides the rope and the
rafters. Suit up and put the 
problems aside, learn to take
all of life's troubles in stride.
Smoked a little somethin and my 
eyes are open wide. They're out 
to get me now.

It's funny how we get up and work
to pay for that car that gets us
to work. It's funny how we get up
each day and try to survive simply
because we've been taught to survive.
There's no other choice as you can't
run and hide. It'll never end until
the day I die, but that isn't in my 
hands and of course I always ask why.

Day by day, week by week, and the years
fly by. I'm sure when it happens it'll
be clear blue skies. I'll wait till
there's no one left who will cry.
What am I but just another troubled
life.

*Torment's End*

In the dungeon I lay, bound,
covered in dirt and in clay.
Wounds are invisible to the 
eye. They're covered in blood
and grime. I wonder why I'm
alive and havn't yet died.
Oh what I'd give to see one
last sunrise.

Someone save me from my
despair; save me from this
dungeon lair. Give me clothes
and warmth and wash my muddy
mop of hair. Break these
manacles that tear my wrists.
I'm too weak to raise a fist.
Oh what I'd do for one last 
kiss from her.

Without warning a bright light
fills my chamber. A healing
feeling quiets my clamor. As
my sight adjusts, a figure 
begins to form out of the pure
white brilliance that illumines
my cell. In recognition I 
immediately feel well. All the
hurt and agony drains from
my head to my ankles. My angel
has come to save me.

*Soulmate*

My eyelids open, revealing stars.
I've been struck by the little 
guys' arrow. She is beautiful, far
beyond my wildest imaginations.

She's the sweetest girl with the 
sweetest heart. We both knew
there was something from the very
start.

I was the hopeless romantic. Now
I'm the romantic. She's given me
hope and peace and love. She is
that beautiful white dove.

I'll take her hand and we'll begin
to fly into the sky so high. We'll
pass the clouds and see the sun
so bright we'll cover our eyes.

Down rainbows we'll slide so
fast we crash at the bottom
and fall into each other's 
arms. I'll keep her safe
from all harm.

When the world ends our love
will remain. We'll have lived
wonderful lives, not in vain.
Wherever our spirits go, we'll
find each other again and again.
She's my love and my very best friend.

*The Last Entry*

The old familiar tome is worn and
in some places torn from years
of use. One last page is blank.

The old man knows his time is
nearly done. There's enough
room for one more, only one.

As he writes, he begins to tear.
His past is full of conquered
fears. He looks back on all the
years and hopes he'll be
remembered.

Heaven doesn't await him.
There are no flames after he dies.
He'll live on in the memory of
all of those he's known. The
day he passes, they'll look to
the skies and weep. The words
of his old tome, they'll always
keep.

To the ground he drops his quill
and reaches for his heart. It's
been many days since he took ill.
Even at the end he feels he was
never good enough. At least
he did feel loved by her.

*Victory out of Loss*

*This is madness. Lead our people back before it is 
too late. You will only lead us to our doom.

You, the weakling; you who always try to keep us from
our glory; to you I say-

Hearken to the voices! Move with the war drums!
Fill with the bloodlust and watch the bodies fly!
Gather all the forces! Gather all of our sons!
Feel the battle raging under the blood-stained sky!

The spirits have left us! They will not bless us this
day! To go to war is foolish; we will all be dead soon.

Whimpering witch! Look at the endless tide before you!
We need no spirits to help us. Axe and hammer will
satisfy our thirst this day! Indeed to you I say-

Hearken to the voices! Move with the war drums!
Fill with the bloodlust and watch the bodies fly!
Gather all the forces! Gather all of our sons!
Feel the battle raging under the blood-stained sky!

The crazed chieftan was sure of victory. At the end 
of the day his head rests on a pike. In the following
retreat, and old sage gathers the living remnants.

Hearken to my voice! Gather all the children!
The chieftan has fallen! He made the wrong choice!
Gather all the forces! Gather all of our sons!
The bloodlust has faded! Perhaps a victory really was won.*

*My Sweetheart*

She's stolen my heart like a thief.
The lonliness is gone, man what a
relief. She's my baby, my love,
and my sweetheart. I wish I had
been with her from the start.

She comforts me when I'm afraid.
She loves me for me.
I think of her while I'm awake
and all night as I dream.
She's my beautiful queen.

My soul loves her's.
I think they've always been
together.
Her and I will fly, for
always and forever.

She's my baby, my love,
my beautiful queen.
Her spirit is the
most georgeous I've
ever seen. She makes
me the happiest I've
ever been.

I'm deeply in love with her.

*Miss You Baby*

You, baby, are like my feel-good pills.
Without you I feel ill. I'm going through
withdrawals and the skin is starting to itch,
'cuz there's no pill for lonliness.

I'm jonesin for real now, just thinkin
of how I can talk to you again. Without
you it's not worth livin, I'm driven
back to the starting point of being 
in my crazed and empty cell. There's a
knife-like pain that sticks my brain
and I start to yell. I don't wanna 
go back to hell.

Back when I couldn't feel, I couldn't tell,
but now it's all for real and I'm not well.
Bring me under your spell again. I want
some more of you- it's all I'm thinkin
about. The worries and the doubts and
bouts of lonely disappear when I'm with
you my honey.

When you're not in my sights the fields
of flowers turn to thorns and briars.
All of these bad feelings are nothing
but liars to try and convince me 
everything is dire, but it's not. It's
only time I must defeat until I see
you're lovely face and am treated
to your sweet, sweet scent.

*Grandpa*
-Dedicated to my hero, Lauren Todd Jr.-

How could this have happened to you?
You were stronger than all of us.
Always I thought that you'd get
better, that you'd heal. Eleven 
years later and I still can't 
believe this is real. Ever since
you passed I lost my ability to
feel.

You were my salvation from a
never ending fright. I remember
what I was doing that night. The
night you woke for one last time.
You gave everyone a hug, and I even
got mine. Yet I thought you'd be fine.
Upstairs I went to play my games.
I was just an innocent child. I
promise I didn't know. I would
have stayed by your side forever.
How I loved you so.

They say those who sleep are 
waiting for one last milestone.
You made it grandpa. You lived
to see one more of my birthdays.
In many ways I died with you then.
That day I lost my very best friend.

Tears well and fall abundantly as
I write this. At your funeral I
still wanted one last kiss, but from
then on it'd be something I'd always
miss. Time with you was peaceful
bliss.

I love you grandpa.
Your grandson,
Jess

*Fragment of an Unwritten Work*
_-set in the same world as is presented in Mini Epic 1-_
The light has gone and night has set in on a cold, rainy evening.
The spectre, Malyx, squeezes tight the reigns of his dread warhorse
as he trots through puddles of mud and blood and bodies left from
days of war. The collection of souls will take especially long tonight.

For all of eternity, Malyx is bound by Vulluh to gather the energy of
the dead and return it for reincarnation. "Pity the nations will return
the reborn to the fields of desolation and the mortal way of death," 
Malyx murmurs, ghostly lips unmoving.

*What Kind of Man*

The looking glass hovers above my head,
self examination filling me with dread.
What kind of man am I to have treated
her this way, wish I may that I could
take back my mistake as there's no
time to contemplate any longer before
the glass becomes focused under the sun
to pinpoint upon my brow. Ashes, ashes 
we all fall down.

What kind of man must I be to
hurt the one that set me free?
Pardon me as I crumble, as I
fall- ashes, ashes, we all
fall down. I look around,
I'm alone, pieces of my flesh
into the the wind are blown
and I wish I had known the
consequence of my deeds,
for the seeds of fear have
overcome, and I've lost a 
battle I thought I'd won.

What kind of man deserves 
her love, deserves her grace?
I see my hand smolder and I
touch my face only to feel
it crack, to feel it break.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down
On the wind, my body can be
found.

*Manic Makes Sense*

Shaaalalalazazzam!
BOOM the earth quakes.
Lightning shoots across the scy
followed by a scream of thunder.
Give the energy, fill me till I 
burst as a super nova seen
galaxies away.

Wooooshalabam!
The foundations of the planet
shake under my footsteps. I
sneeze and hurricanes thrash
the sea. How can this be,
what has happened to me? I'm 
wild, fancy free!

BOOM the sky just broke 
in half and the whole of
heaven is draining down
upon my neck. What can 
I expect next? I flex
because I can. Thanks
ma'am but I'm not Sam,
he ran when the first one 
hit.

Like a brick is how it felt
when whatever that was pelt
my temple. Oh noes it's 
washing away like running
paint. Down I go into
the world of Walter!

Bag o' tricks, pick me up
after six in the stix hick.
I'm sick, the lasagna didn't
settle well, I hurled and fell
don't tell, he'll think I'm weak.
The sky leaked? Who let Leroy 
play with the thunder bolts
of Zeus again?

Wolla Calla Shoo. The choo 
choo missed you by an inch.
Shooba dooba do, but don't 
confuse with scoob. I've 
ascended, transcended,
and all in all shot up to 
a high I hadn't felt since
my last flight. I'll be 
all right despite that brick
after all.

*For a Moment Apart*

Words on the page appear to phase and fade.
Pardon the masquerade, I'm really not okay.

Lighting on the path is dim, yet lucky I
feel to have a way in front of me at all.
Will you catch me if I fall?

I miss you. I need you by my side.
With you my heart do I confide.
I'm getting impatient too.
I miss you.

With you my fears don't exist.
There exists only happiness.
Only joy wells up inside.
Time. There's only time between us.
We can do this my love, together.

However dark it may seem, the
way is still lit. The closer
I get to you, the brighter it gets.
You are my sweetheart. Take my hand
and hold it tight. Time is our
enemy, but together we'll fight
until at last- at last I'll take your
hand and give a gentle kiss.

For a moment apart will
bring a lifetime together.

*Conjurus*

The bastard betrayed us all, even his own father.
His actions have hurt thousands.
You and the other three stood up to this menace
when nobody else would even bother.

You're bravery would compell me to take your
name. Without you it's just not the same.
I hear your voice in the howl of the wind
when it rains. Will you come again?

You stood up to him on that fateful day
and he took your life. He wanted a war,
he wanted strife, for power everything
would he sacrifice. You rolled the
dice when you decided to stand your
ground. There's no other hero like you,
at least not that I have found.

It's been 8 years since you've been gone.
Do not worry old friend, I'll defeat the
demon spawn. He will pay for his sins
against us all, against you. May your
soul rest, Conjurus.

*For the Love of my Life*

Through fields of lillies with smiles and good feelings
I'll take your hand and run under the sunlight. You,
darling, are my heart's delight. I will fight for the
one who stole my heart and filled it with glee.

I'll fight 'till the sea passes beneath me, the breeze
of rushing air flowing by as I think of you and the
life you've infused into my core. I adore you, my love.
You are the sweetness inside my heart.

And as the sun sets and it becomes dark, I'll hold you
near and shed a tear of joy, for you have set me free.
The world will see us and wonder what it is we share,
for nothing else will compare. I'll see you there
soon after a few new moons and though time it will
take, make no mistake, for in my arms you shall be.

*Zombies*

I scream. What's wrong with those who surround me?
Tears stream down their smiling faces, yet still
expressionless they seem. They're coming.. closer.
What is it that they want? Before their outstretched 
arms can reach me I shriek a shrill cry, wondering
why I cannot fly. I cannot move as my legs will
not obey. The one in front of me looks familiar.
Mother? Not you too! What have they done to you?
Your lips mouth the word..."Run".. as you grab 
my arm to give me up to them.

Again, I attempt to open my mouth to scream, but
my lips have been sown shut. My eyes begin to well
and I am compelled to walk with the rest to the 
cliff...to my death. Yet before my will is broken
the sun pierces through an opening in the clouds
above. A dove descends and a blinding light washes
over the countless bodies, leaving them cleansed.
And as the light reaches me...I am free.

*House by the Sea*

The warm ocean breeze flows through
your beautiful, long, dark hair. I
wish I was there with you, walking
by your side.

Your gorgeous green eyes twinkle
from beams of moonlight. Despite
all the obstacles in my path,
I will find my way to you.

I hear your soft voice soothing
my tortured soul, filling me
with joy, and warming my heart.
How I long to be in your arms.

Soon, love, I'll join you
there where the scent of the
air smells like the sea. We'll
dine under the stars and drink
your sugary tea.

Until that day, you'll be
the angel of my dreams. Though
time is against us it seems,
it too will pass and we'll be
together at last.

*Make Believe*

Walk the dream, butterflies and things.
The faeries sing their songs of trance
while their incandescent wings carry
them ever higher above rainbows and
clouds.

The black sea waters bubble and 
simmer as though a great heat
stirs under it's raging surface.
A dragon launches out from below
and through the air as a javelin
is thrown to catch him there.

Yet the old, winged serpent uncannily
smiles and winks a saphire eye. Fire
bursts mystically from out of nowhere,
consuming the weapon into shiny particles
of dust.

Walk the dream, knights and kings.
Unicorns and gryphons wing high
above the courtyard, darting 
around the blue and purple fireworks
of the royal palace wizards. Down below
the peasants know a great feast takes
place at the grand castle.

The lush, virescent forests stir
and shake as a monstrous creature
wades through the trees as grass.
A smiling young child rides its
back while tugging on its ears
and laughing merrily. The giant
himself bellows a chuckle as he
crouches down on all fours and 
upon his knuckles.

Goblins with rings in their noses
turn to stone in the daylight, the
old story-teller said- well at least
he supposes. A dozen roses was the 
price of that grand tale.

Walk the dream, find it's meaning.
For though they appear random
or silly, insight into your
own mind you may find, really.

*Mini Epic 2*

The mighty warrior steps carefully through
the massive, fiery gates of Muspelheim. His
iron resolve does not falter nor can
anything break his steadfast will. Even
the Jotnar fear battle with the powerful
man- the man who conquered all of J?tunheimr.
With his dark armor and massive hammer, he
fights fiercely and ferociously.

One by one the Jotnar crash around him- he
cuts a bloody path to the black one himself,
Surtr. Behind his false grin and theatrical
laughter, the fire giant lord sizes up his
foe. He knows the diminuitive soldier fights
for his home, for his love, and for his chil-
dren. These things empower the tiny man
to brave hell itself. With this power the
warrior engages in epic battle with a 
legend.

His endless stamina wins the struggle and
with a thunderous crash his hammer strikes
true and deals the giant a death blow.

And so now you know the story of the one 
who did what Freyre himself could not. Love
conquers all.

*Quicksand*

I sink a little deeper as I struggle on, as I struggle on.
Fighting the scorching heat and the bog's demon spawn.
The flies feast on the sweat of my brow as I struggle on.
A flicker of light flashes before my eyes, entrancing me.

I'm knees deep in this clay; I struggle on
for there's no other way. Sharp branches
in the deep slice my feet, impeding me,
as I struggle further forward.

I see an exit to the side, accessible if I should
only reach. Yet I struggle on, and sink to my waist.
I should have taken time, but instead chose haste.
I struggle on as the sun eats layers of flesh.

It would take three men together to reach this
level of hell- men with legs for arms. A creature 
means to feast on the fluids that cover my body, 
yet I take sight of the prize as the mud reaches
my chest and I struggle on.

Worn to flesh, blood, and bone, final memories flash
in my mind, memories of you and of home. With renewed 
resolve I stretch forth my hand to touch the soft, 
turquoise dress that graces your silky skin.
The tips of my fingers caress the bottom of your garment.
I struggle. I get two lung fulls of sand, and I die.

*Untitled III*

I think of you as I watch the moon and wonder if you see it too. I think of you before I slumber and as I wake. I'll stay up late to talk with you; to be with you I'll cross the ocean. Nothing will stand between us. The world despairs around us, yet we have each other. Take my hand and be comforted, my love.

I think of you as I work. I think of you as I dress and put on my shirt. As I think of you I cant help but smile. In just a little while, my love, we'll be together; we'll hold each other; and as you rest against my chest I'll run my fingers through your hair and think about us. I'll think of all the things we're going to do, the places we will go, and a life begun anew.

I love you.

*Freed*

You inflicted your nightmare upon me, demon.
For a lifetime I have been haunted.
Haunted by fear of living- fear of being myself.
Your torments never ceased and day by day my
hatred for you increased.
Peace was all I ever wanted, but you wouldnt know
about peace would you?

As I reflect on everything youve done to so many,
my anger slowly releases, leaving only pity.
And so I finally heal from the wounds you inflicted.
An enormous weight from my shoulders has been lifted.
Your last hold on me has been broken, demon.
Wallow in your own devices. Destroy yourself by
your own vices. I have finally found the weapon
needed to defeat you. May God have mercy.

*Fatty*

Blossoms and blueberries
and magic mushrooms. Fly 
in the sky, land on the
moon. Rivers of milk and
of honey do caress your 
taste. Shivers of goodness
through the hair strands
of our tongues. Chocolates
and caramels and cocoa and
cream.

All of these things you
crave, you desire. things
you would fight for through 
muck and mire.
Dainties and cupcakes
gather in your heart,
you should have stuck
with the blueberries 
from the start.

*Mini Epic*

A jagged white streak of light pierces the night sky. I've seen light like that before...
Years ago there was a mighty storm of crackling roars.
Horrors charged our keep and high above, dragons soared.
They'd taken the rest of the world, but still they wanted more.

They'd met their end- to the depths of hell we'd send them.
Despite the odds, our keep could not be breached and all but
one of the enemy was slain- the demi-god Kain. He fled and was never
seen again, yet now it thunders and it rains in the same way it had so long ago.

Should he return, we will show our iron resolve. Know that tonight will be my 
greatest fight, father. I battle in your honor.

*Night Terrors*

In a world where there is no sun, the frigid blackness forever reigns.
Silent, brightly white smiles sullenly reveal what wishes to remain
hidden. The unforgiven wander the endless sea of emotionless and hollow
bodies who try to wake from their tormented, nightmarish slumber. 
Yet should they wake, sleep would never come again...

*Farewell, my Friends.*

After all the years, all the tears, all my fears have come true.
This is my last farewell to you. I've lost all that I can lose.
I cannot fight any longer. Nothing I try makes me stronger.
Remember me when I disappear. Remember me.

The war in my head has taken it's toll on me. I realize now
that I'll never be free. The insanity wont leave me be, you see.
It's time to rest. I gave my best. I couldnt pass the test.
Remember me when I'm no longer here. Remember me.

The grip I white knuckled on the last vestige of hope has
drained me. The time has come to let it win. The mess I'm 
in has incinerated my soul. Chaos rules.
Remember me.

*When Hope Fails*

I never sleep, no tears left for my eyes to weep.
My heart leaps at thoughts of final peace- 
it keeps my legs moving on to another dawn..
resolve is nearly gone.

False hope fades as invisible ink on the page. I am caged..
cursed to wander corrupted ground where no footing can be found,
only a pool in which I drown.

*Knives in my Brain*

Words are written and erased again. Over and
over I try, but I cant find the words this time.
I crinkle the paper in my hand and throw everything
against the wall. The rage fails and I drop to the
floor- feeling depleted and wanting more.

I get up and run for the door. Where has everyone
gone? Where's my brother, my dad and my mom? To the
ground I fall- to the dirt and stones. How I long
for the day where the sun once shone, the day before
the day I lost my home.

Ahhhhh! I scream! The conflicting feelings are ripping
my mind apart! Decide! Which will it be? Anger? Fear?
Nothing? Lonliness? Confidence? Decide! I can't take
this! Ahhhhh! I concede! I give in! I give up! Take
whatever you want from me. Just take it and leave me be.
Leave me! I command you! Get out of my head! You will
drain me until I'm dead.

I'm talking to myself for there's nobody here..nobody
remotely near. My eyes well up with tears. Frantic, I
claw at my face, my neck, and my wrist. Blood seeps
from clenched fists. I convulse until my heart stops
beating and I have no pulse.

Yet..I'm alive....alive and well. It was the best dream
I've had in a long time.

*Me Too*

Look at the old fool drown,
wallowing in his own waste.
What a stupid clown,
just a waste of space.
Whining about his feelings, please,
give me another boo-hoo. Haha,
or Ramando, how about a Woooo! Woooo!

All of you should let me reign,
except for Rage who's not so lame.
You're all distracted, you've taken 
your eye off the prize. Look at how
you've all impacted this excuse
you call a life.

Someone needs to tell you, you've
been coddled for too long. Without
me you're weak, but when I rule
I am strong. I tell it how it is,
go ahead shake your fist, runaway
like you always do. Cry and eat
some comfort food.

While you're away things will 
get done, son.

*Living Canvas*

Sparkling little eyes above cute dimples
and a big cheesy smile; horns and a tale
on a man quite vile. In a little while,
Walter, the white walking stick, watches
with whimsical wonderfullness.

Gleefully giggling they skip along together.
Jolly and joyful, the merrymaking begins.
Animals and children, women and men-
everybody dances round the fiery blaze.
Amazed is Walter, the white walking stick.
How he too wishes to dance, even if he does 
look like a plant!

Swirling colors of running paint, the canvas
of life melts into one. Where once were many,
now there are none. All together the paint has
run, even where once, was painted rum.

Beginning anew, the world blooms. Flowers and 
trees, grass and mushrooms. Soon a piece of a
tree begins to move, Walter, the white walking 
stick, walks with a groove.

"The world is back!", he says with a smile-
all the while walking and walking, all 'round
the isle. The isle of mystery, where magic
walks with men. Every inch of the isle, Walter
has been. Even the lion's pit and the big Ogre's
den.

He's a brave little fellow, he could never be
called yellow. A bellow, a call, a loud cawing
sound. The mighty Rokh swoops in to take Walter
away to its nest. Silly pest, this walking stick
can't be eaten. Go away before you get beaten-
by the king of this isle!

Walter rises up and waves his hand! Mystically
appearing, two brigands! Men with bows and a deadly aim,
they point their arrows and loose them for fame. The
mighty rokh dodges them twain. "Insane!", says Walter,
"Do not falter! The beast is getting closer!"

Yet before the tasty treat enters his beak, the 
world morphs into swirls and streaks. Soon
again an adventure will begin, with Walter, the
white walking stick and his big toothy grin.

*A Cross Ticks*

*D*aylightxxx dawns as the man readies the ballist*a*.
*a* day of war yesterday and a day of war tomorro*w*.
*n*everxxxxxxxxxxxx. has the cost been affordabl*e*.
*i*n a moment the magi whisper their abracadabra*s*,
*e*verxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx' seeking to please Apoll*o*.

*i*ntoxxxxx. the fray, they battle with barbarianis*m*.
*s*till.. xxxxdefeat- the enemy will not acknowledg*e*.

*Identity Theft*

Taken from me, it forms bodily before my eyes.
I don't feel fine, I feel like I've died.
I don't know why I try to find myself.
I've been captured in a frame of glass-
never to return to the life of the past.
The past has passed. I must live for now.
I will triumph somehow.

How to escape...
A thought enters my head.
Yes I've got it!
No longer will I feel as though I'm dead.
With a mad cackle I grab the sledge,
smashing to bits, every piece, ever edge.

Shatter before me! Let my soul free!
God just let me be me!
I fall on my knees.
I laugh and cry.
I'm nowhere to be found.

*Love*

Spit mixed with blood, still you ask to forgive them.
Delighted, they took pleasure when they beat him.
Forgive them for they know not what they do-
surely he knew what would happen when he sent you.

Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
When will you come again,
with the name on your thigh?

*No Expectations*

Come, take my hand.
Together we will cross the void.
Our combined strength will help us
through all things.
Do you understand? Do you know
how much to me you mean?

You are beautiful my love- as
pretty as a dove. With your wings
you carry me to high and lovely places
full of happy faces. Your energy nearly 
places me in stasis.

I'll be here forever for you.
Nothing else could be more true
than the feelings that I feel.
They are most certainly real.
I'll wait for you until the 
sun burns out, the water of 
the earth dries up, and the
stars of the sky fall down.

*Maddening*

You know me but you dont.
You could hear me but you wont.
Im not the same anymore.
Im as hard as a stone.

A heart as rough as leather
beats deep inside of me.
After so long I am weathered,
worn from a storm that will not cease.

My brain goes tick..tick..
I'm minutes from kaboom.
Stand back this could be sick-
Everyone clear the room.

Like a switch it flips
and then I've gone again.
As a twig I've snapped-
dont ask me where I've been.

I tire of this endless, wretched cycle.
In anger I punch the door, leaving a hole.
I learned that one from you pops,
but when you started you didnt stop.

Am I destined to be a man of spite?
Must I suffer my entire life?
When will all of this end?
Will i ever be myself again?

Yet who is this self that I long to be?
I look in the mirror, that cant be me!
Look at that grin, the twinkle in his eye.
I begin to laugh. I dont know why.

There must be a creature in my brain.
It feeds the madness against which I strain.
I smash my face against the glass
in hopes that finally it will pass.

*Drunkard*

Drink and drink 'till you're in a stupor.
You hit pretty hard, what- you tryin' to kill her?
Takes a lot of courage to do what you do-
well not really you're just a loser.
Come over here if you want to hit someone.
Face a man, you'll find yourself runnin'.

You cant hurt me anymore you s-o-b,
I've gone away to a different city-
but if you touch her I'll come a knockin',
you bet your ass I'm gonna give you a clockin'.
You're worthless, you've got no value.
I bet even your mama has told you.

Stand aside you weak excuse of a father.
Dont come around now, dont even bother.
You're pathetic you old man-
why she's still with you i'll never understand.
Damn, why dont you just pack up and leave,
Even when you die, nobody will grieve.

*Party Night*

Super powered hyper crazy man,
there's really no better feeling than
being crazy going insane
running jumping, playing in the rain.

What's up my friend let's put on our wings!
Just three hops and it's off we go!
To happy places where there's silly things.
Will we come back? We may never know!

Woah! This a moment to remember!
Havnt had such fun since November!
Let's go, hurry- it's time to dance-
Dance all night, even dance without pants!

Little crazy now, dont you think?
Im so excited I cant even speak.
I fall to the ground with maniacal laughter,
I feel good now, but what about after?
Why dont you ask her? She's the master.
Master of the dance, of circumstance and trance.

Lance, my friend how have you been?
It's been a while, but now again
it's time to smile, time to begin.
Time to swim, at the pool in the Inn.
The party's far from over-
The disco ball fills the night
with it's radiant sparkling lights!

Hear the music, feel the beat.
Man I love this song, it's freakin sweet!
Bust a move, feel the groove,
crank those tunes, we even got baloons.
Confetti, party mix, we've got it all,
we've been drinkin since six!

Morning light is coming, bout time for bed.
With all that I drank Im gonna feel dead.
My head feels woozy, that party was a doozy.
Gonna sleep until 10, then get up 
and do it all again.

*Magick*

Something surges silently through my body,
Quietly purging away pain and agony.
A feeling indescribable washes over me,
Purifying my being and filling me with glee.

When I think of you my worries erase.
All sadness departs when I see your face.
What power this is- our auras combined.
I could dance with you, 'till the end of time.

Come with me, let us soar in the sky!
Take my hand, we will surely fly!
Our minds are free and limits are lifted.
You and I, yes we are quite gifted!

Talk of spiders and their magical weaves,
Our energies intertwine with graceful ease.
I channel the power into poetry-
into magical words of you and of me.

I admire -you- inspire a fire within my soul;
An intensity- a passion I've not felt before.
Positive energy radiates off the page-
much different than that poem called Rage-

Different than anything I've ever written.
I start to think, perhaps I've been smitten.
Whatever it is, truly it is beautiful.
I feel complete, at last I feel whole.

*I've gone missing*

Who am I?
I am you when you are near.
I am her when she is here.
I am who I need to be-
yet every time, I am not me.

When alone I am nothing,
I am no one, Im as a stone.
Something isnt right.
Something is wrong.
I..dont know who I am.
I dont know where I belong.
I..I'm afraid. Someone help me.
Help me. Help me.

I search for what I believe...
at the moment it is this.
But suddenly it changes..
I anger and clench my fist.
I fall on my knees- tears on my face.
I look for friends- I find only space.

I wonder while I wander- 
will I find what was lost?
I try but why do I bother?
My mind is at a loss.
A cross? He cant save me.
Go home lady. Leave me be.

Hope and faith..belief.
Trust. Can they get me through?
They must! I rise to find
Im empty still. I've lost that faith
and lost my will- the will to
carry on, the will to fight.
My mouth is bitter and Im filled 
with spite.

Emotions and feelings suddenly drain..
All that's left is writhing pain.
And then it's gone, the memory of the day.
I rise once more and find my way.
My way? Where am i going?
What am i doing?
Who left me here all alone?
I've gone...long ago...then came back
with friends. Lot's of friends
are here with we. We are here,
we are all me.

Who am I? I am many and I am none.
I am several, once the day is done.

*Innocence lost*

Powerless, unable to stop you-
I cower under your grip.
Your torment, cruel and abusive-
Im left with a bloody lip.

Little did she know what
you had planned for me.
For on that dreadful day,
a child I ceased to be.

I lost something then..
I lost something pure.
I lost something when..
oh..I just cant endure.

Leave me be, you've had your fun.
I have to get free, I have to run!
I cant take this, where can i go?
Who am I? I no longer know.

I've disappeared inside myself.
It was too much, the pain I felt.
Hope you rot, you sick flower*.
If you go to hell it wont be enough.

*Haunt*

Empty faces smiling brightly,
go their way and pass by me.
I stand amongst them invisible,
trying in vain to reach out.
I reach for them but Im not able.
Belief escapes and I fill with doubt.

A stranger in a foreign land,
I wander about most aimlessly.
I touch my head, blood's on my hand,
in my eyes, and I cant see-
I desperately seek sanctuary,

I find no place to lay down-
What happened? Did I drown?
It's cold and my lips are blue.
I can't take this, not without you.
I've left you behind in a warm place.
Oh what I'd give to see your face.

My heart once raced, but now is silent.
Quiet now, just for a moment.
What was that could you hear?
I strain my neck to look beyond.
It's as I thought, it's as I feared.
That's my body, in that shallow pond.

*Molasses*

Engines grind to a halt
and begin to stall.
The secret power that
drives them has dissipated.

Stars once shining so brightly
now begin to fall.
Nobody here seems to care-
they actually are quite jaded.

Though forces beyond control
seek to bring us down,
One remains steadfast.
Hope will see us through and
we'll find our own at last.

*Hollow*

Words cannot contain the pain I feel-
Invisible wounds yet- so real.
Daggers penetrate the armor I've made
as though nothing on my chest was laid.
Im afraid.

It takes me now to the depths.
Write it down before I forget.
Before I go I wanted to say-
Only you can make me feel this way.
I cannot stay.

I take my leave so I can grieve,
so I can heal, so I can breathe.
I'll go on to see tomorrow.
Nothing lasts forever, not even sorrow.
Im hollow.

*For Her*

She turns my lips into a smile.
I think of her while I go about my day.
In every way she amazes and thrills me.
It kills me to watch her go away.

The energy I feel from her
fills the holes inside my soul.
Emotions in my heart do stir
until at last I feel full.

*Something of Nothing*

What is this?
My skin..something is creeping.
Something seeps, I weep.
I stare, the air is-
different.

Peel the wrap away.
Take this from me.
Im not afraid..it's just..
nothing.

An empty shell. A husk.
Ring a bell? It must.
It's back again, that feeling.
I stare at the ceiling and wonder.
I muster the strength to break
the haze of my glazed eyes.

I speak and hear my voice.
Who was that..did I by
choice move my lips?
My heart rips in two
all the sudden thinking of you.

Shifting thoughts moving quickly.
Yet of nothing..wait. maybe something
is.. there..again- it's the air.
Thickening around my throat
Im choking on my own thoughts.

Stifling heat- I wipe my brow
and- I dont know how I moved
my arm. Automatic as if Im under
a charm or spell. Can you tell?

I shake to try and escape from
something invisible. An appetite
insatiable. I will go to the place I know-
where nothing grows and nobody shows 
their face.
Just empty space.

*Fairytale Land 2*
-Dedicated to Lynsey-

All aboard the Broomstick!
Sirus and I will steer it!
Off to saturn, off to mars, off to see
the stars, lets go you row, just dont
row sham bo cuz that hurts!

Oh noes the broom is sputtering, we're out of
gas, Sirus wait here I'll take the last pass.
The last exit was route xyz of the previous system.
I'll take the misfit toys on the mission!

Speaking of toys, their swirling portal has opened again
Rising Guitars and electric slides, they begin to grin
and come along for the ride! Im back my friend, Ive got the fuel,
lets not speed or break the rules, we've got to stick to plan,
stick to the notes, and find peter pan.

It's coming up now, that wonderful place
that wonderful land of that wonderful race.
The Kerroltans! The Martian men have joined the team
joined the party and brought ice cream!

Lock your arms together with mine, spin in a circle
and you'll do just fine. Move your arms in like fashion
you my friend have got a lot of passion. I can tell
you've done this before, actually I think you'll beat my score.

Amazing man, you've done it again. You're on top, you will win.
Thankfully we're on the same team as the old king from that town.
What was that place called, mania mound? They're coming to hurray hurrah!
I love that place I love that spot!

That's all Ive got, I cant think of anything else, we've packed the food and the book of spells! We've got the magic bag of fairy dust and sprinkling just enough to give that extra little boost we'll need.
Thanks for joining me, lets do this again sometime, give me your number and I'll give you mine!

*Fairytale Land*
-Dedicated to Lynsey-

The paper! It brims with light.
The moon peaks out to watch
us all and fill the night
with its bright sparkling ball!

Words cant contain what's happened here
what's flowing through the fingertips.
massive bubbles of world renown
wonderous they're such a marvel!

Lets all jump and run and leap
into the infinite pixelated lands
of the deep beyond! Take my hand
get up and stand we'll flash 
and fly and swim in the clouds!

Aloud say it again its time for
merrymaking! Joy and sparkling
hey you're shaking, take it easy
friend dont get too excited
pace yourself just like I did!

Haha! Welcome my friends to the realm
of the mad God, the mystical shores of
Kerroltar. Minotaurs and unicorns
and free spirits grant us the power
of the mistics!

We've traveled far, we've traveled fast,
just how long can all of this last-
forever sir! Forever stir the cauldron of
sprinkly flowers. Sour gummy worms are on 
the shelf and we've also got Terry the elf!

He's the center of the party, the man- well elf
as he has been known- is going to get it started!
The eye of night blinks tonight just a little sliver.
Grab an ore and have a seat, we're going down the river!

Rainbow trout and sour kraut what kind of water is this?
It's magic water that smells of daisy's and milk and honey.
Funny, dont you think the light beams and glitters?
Money, there's none here, everything is free! Everything is given
to every one that listens to the song of trance.

The ride is over, step to your left, over the gate and across
the snow. The book is kept, it is secure, take it home and then you'll know how it began, the journey of magic, pumpkin heads and a little white static, this is how you have the fun, the good times started with the rum.

*The Real Me*
-Dedicated to Mark-

Consumed as the leaf in a fire-
Withered hopes, dreams, and desires.
Though rays of light fall on me
Still am I too blind to see.

The snake of fear constricts
and suffocates the happiness
buried within my core.

Writhing against leaves me
drained, leaves me empty, and
leaves me sore.

Always a fight, always a war.
I can't lose sight, there must be more.
More to this, more to life-
I tire of the constant strife.

The struggle to free myself
of myself- to see through
unhazed eyes.

To know the truth, seek
the truth- hidden among 
many lies.

I'm too far through this slough
to despond now. 
I'll find myself though 
I dont know how.

I will triumph, I will win.
The real me is somewhere within.

*Just Hurting*

Broken. My heart is broken.
It's pieces shred the flesh.
I'm hurt, I'm not jokin.
My life is just a mess.

I loved once- I let her go.
The mistake of a lifetime...
Forever will it haunt me so.
It's nobody's fault but mine.

Foolishly I seek another..
Such a greedy bastard I am.
I'm lucky to have loved her-
Move on? Don't think I can.

Why do i write these words..
What good does poetry do?
I'm sure you think absurd-
These writings that I show you.

I just feel so alone.
Where have my friends gone?
I'm tired of this poem-
Really, I'm just done.

*Rage*

Awakened to find my thoughts erased-
replaced by something foreign.
Aggression, anger replaces fear.
A terrible wind brings the storm.

Day by day my worldview changes.
My mind can no longer take this.
Yet strangely relief has come.
The battle may yet be won.

Im no longer scared, nor
anymore frightened.
My vision is sharp,
my senses are heightened.

Im not afraid, Im not.
Im mad, not insane,
I shake with hate and malice.
With pills I feel like Alice.

I want to run. I want to fight.
I want to dance throughout the night.
I want to drive, I want to ride.
All I feel is steam inside.

I welcome anger, cherish it.
I do without embarassment.
When I Fear, I am weak.
When in anger, Im not meek.

Im not subtle, Im not polite.
I'll do things out of spite.
Which do I choose? What do I do?
What makes you feel like you?

With the pills Im a bastard-
Without them Im petrified.
Suppose I'll grab this sword.
Im sorry mom I tried.

*Mania*

hahaha hahaha hahaha ha ha
hahaha hahaha hahaha ha ha
hahaha hahaha hahaha ha ha
hahaha hahaha hahaha ha ha

The time has come the time has gone
over the hills and through the snow
through the trees and among the stars
to grandmother's house we've gone.

Crazy insane inately maimed
cowabunga my fellow friend.
crisscrossing catapulting crossfaced car dealers
lettuce peas and mustard sir.

king kong banana trees
a dark melting snowy weaves
a sagging and sultry stir.

walruss teeth and aloe leaves
a mad bee just stung me
and ouch that really hurt!
It hurt it hurt it hurt!

Big and small barely a crawl
they move so effortlessly.
smooth and sharp the pillows
pierce the raving unending storm.

Can you see what's happened here
A man rode in to town!
He jumped and shouted joyously
and we all joined his dance.

The mayor of town has torn down
the old decrepid wind.
Yet still they all have come to see
that purple and goofy hat.

Now lets all go to the fair
and live and laugh and sing.
Lose it all and have some fun
and slap the old fat king.

*The Nightmare fades*

There's a nightmare flowing through my veins
Consuming my soul like a burning flame.
Infinite night and Im afraid of the dark
There's no light, no moon, and no stars.

Awakened, I scream- nothing has changed.
The cold dark extends its loving embrace.
Terror has grasped me and I cannot move.
Is this what I have let myself get to?

Fight. Fight it. I must fight this fright.
I pierce the endless void with all my might.
Searching for the light, I gather strength.
I look for courage and I find faith.

I can do this. I can beat this thing.
Salvation lies within my inner being.
I reach for it for I must find peace.
Though pain still stings, I bare my teeth.

Wading through the dimness I begin to find,
The way to peace and freedom of the mind.
The nightmare is thinning, crumbling away.
The light breaks through and I make my way.

Joy will fill those who will believe.
Just please sit down my friend and breathe.
The dark cant hold you, it never could.
It held me down, but then I stood.

My life is now my own and I am free.
Believe my friend and you will see.

*Shadow Man*

Shadow man in the door, your darkened form seethes with hate.
Swirling raging forces drive you to accept your terrible fate.

I know you shadow man, and yes you know me too.
Mine enemy you have been, oh I've seen what you can do.

Your teeth await a delicious bite of hapless yet hopeful prey.
Willfully they come to you with hope of peaceful death.

Live's long dead are relived to see the same end you will bring.
But today O shadow man you will die and feel your own poisoned barb of pain.

I am overcome you, today you cease to be.
The sword of light I wield, your eyes cant stand to see.

In agony you collapse away from me, spewing shrieks of terror.
Shrink away from that door shadow man. I free myself from your horror.

You will haunt no longer old foe- I've faced you for the last time.
Out of my life and out of my way for at last I have freed my mind.

*Tomorrow's Light*

Every day, ground lost and ground won.
A constant fight leaves me undone.
Forcing chained legs forward on
To see another day, tomorrow's dawn.

There must be hope beyond the hills
I tell myself while popping pills.
But just to ease the pain until
Tomorrow's light brings joy and my heart fills.

Peace of mind escapes forever
'Those who think it gone will never
Feel their heart as light as feathers.
Belief itself will help your endeavor.

*Shackled Within*

Where is the real me
will I ever find
that person trapped within
that person deep inside
fighting to be free
fighting just to breathe
will this never end
and would I ever win
a war with myself
a struggle in my head
Dare I overcome
or do I die instead

*If this is real*
clawing broken
scattered scared
coughing choking
gasping air

living loving
hugging friends
laughing breathing
coloring crayons

all these things
yet seldom there
all these things
and I'm unaware

Cuz I've gone numb
I cannot feel
and Im not sure
if this is real

*A Hold on Me*
Ask me again, to give it up for you
Ask me and then, I'll tell you no too
Cuz it wont let go, it wont let up
I cant take it anymore, I think Ive had enough

It has a hold of me, I just cannot break free
It has a hold on me, I will simply never be
at peace, will never come back home,
can never leave this place, it wont leave me alone!
It has a hold of me, how cant you see
it's inside of me, tearing me apart

Ive tried to break these bonds,
Tried to cut them loose.
Can you be so blind?
This is what I choose!

It has a hold of me, I just cannot break free
It has a hold on me, I will simply never be
at peace, will never come back home,
can never leave this place, it wont leave me alone!
It has a hold of me, how cant you see
it's a part of me, clawing at my heart

Getting hard to breath, the weight is crushing
Gotten stuck underneath, but still Im laughing
If this be the end, go on without me
Say a prayer, say amen, off to eternity

Because...

It has a hold of me, I just cannot break free
It has a hold on me, I will simply never be
at peace, will never come back home
Can never leave this place, it wont leave me alone!
It has a hold of me, now do you see
It has broken me, and now I will depart.

-Conjurus


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## The Caretaker (Jun 2, 2008)

you should leave them up there really good


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Hey thanks for the support. I guess I could just put them all in this post.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New Poem Added- The Nightmare Fades.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New something added- Mania.


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## creativeinchaos (Dec 8, 2008)

Same to you man!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New poem added- Rage.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

3 old poems added. A hold on me, Tomorrow's Light, Shackled Within.


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## Guest (Dec 18, 2008)

Awesome.  I really love the energy of the "Mania" poem.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

new poem added- Just Hurting.

Thanks for the compliment Lyns


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New poem added- The Real Me


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## R.I.P (Dec 28, 2008)

XXX


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thank you very much, I really appreciate feedback. Rage is one of my top favorites too.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Rage and Mania are my two picks


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## The Caretaker (Jun 2, 2008)

They are all very good man


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks Hazel and Caretaker- deeply appreciate the comments.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New one- Fairytale Land

New one- Fairytale Land 2.


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2009)

...


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## Cam (Dec 13, 2006)

Funny, people do actually care Lyns, who'd of thought.

Nice poem Jess. :wink:


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Of course Lyns, the least I could do for all your help and support.

Thanks for the comment cam, appreciate it.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New one- Something of Nothing.


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## Guest (Jan 4, 2009)

> I will go
> to the place I know- where nothing
> grows and nobody shows their face.
> Just empty space.


Nice metaphor J


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks Greg


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## Guest (Jan 5, 2009)

Another great poem Jesse, more, we want more. 

Lynsey.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Another great poem Jesse, more, we want more.
> 
> Lynsey.


Thank you Lynsey 

Im pretty sure more will come- I have something in mind that might be cool.


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## Guest (Jan 6, 2009)

.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

:mrgreen: 8)


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New one added- For Her


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## Guest (Jan 6, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Beautiful.


I wrote _For Her_ *for you.*


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## Guest (Jan 7, 2009)

...


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## Guest (Jan 7, 2009)

^-^


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Sure thing Sirus 

New one added- Hollow


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New one added- Molasses


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New one added- Haunt


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## Guest (Jan 13, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks Lynsey  Was great chatting with you again!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- Innocence lost


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2009)

> Innocence lost
> 
> Powerless, unable to stop you-
> I cower under your grip.
> ...


Fucking awesome. I love the ending  its good to express that huh? or no? I can relate to this poem a lot.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

When expressing these kinds of things, sometimes it feels good to get it out, sometimes it hurts to think about it. In this case, it does feel good to get it out- especially the ending. This one was kind of tough for me to put up, but I did feel that there might be some who could relate to it. Thank you for the comment, Im glad you liked it.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2009)

I know Jesse, I know its hard, but I am so glad you put it up.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- I've gone missing.


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2009)

Conjurus said:


> Added- I've gone missing.


  Great poem Jesse, I like it a lot.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I was sort of having an identity crisis when i wrote that one. It's scary- sometimes I really do wonder who I am. I feel like I have a lot of different parts and sometimes Im one part, while another time Im a different part. When I wrote that poem I dont think I was any part...I dont know if that makes any sense.

New Poem Added- Magick


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2009)

It makes perfect sense.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Im glad you like it Lynsey . It's a lot more difficult to write a poem with positive energy- at least for me- but I've been enabled


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2009)

^-^


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thank you Sirus- I indeed have found someone to fly with. That's a great way to describe how her energy makes me feel- like Im flying.


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2009)

^-^


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

That's true Lyns, I have it all inside me for sure, but sometimes it's hard to get it out until I find inspiration from an outside source. I've been flying solo for some time, but it sure is fun to have company at times. :mrgreen:


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2009)

Conjurus said:


> I was sort of having an identity crisis when i wrote that one. It's scary- sometimes I really do wonder who I am. I feel like I have a lot of different parts and sometimes Im one part, while another time Im a different part. When I wrote that poem I dont think I was any part...I dont know if that makes any sense.
> 
> New Poem Added- Magick


Yeah, it makes perfect sense to me as well.

Lov'n your work Jesse....must be hard just putting it out there but at the same time cathartic.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Im still the same person said:


> Conjurus said:
> 
> 
> > I was sort of having an identity crisis when i wrote that one. It's scary- sometimes I really do wonder who I am. I feel like I have a lot of different parts and sometimes Im one part, while another time Im a different part. When I wrote that poem I dont think I was any part...I dont know if that makes any sense.
> ...


Thanks man, glad you're enjoying it- It would take the fun out of writing if I didnt have readers 

It is hard to put it out there sometimes- I mean a lot of it is quite personal feelings, but I feel that I gain power and control of those feelings when I write and post them on here.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

new- party night


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New- Drunkard


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

> Drunkard
> 
> Drink and drink 'till you're in a stupor.
> You hit pretty hard, what- you tryin' to kill her?
> ...


powerful


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## Guest (Jan 22, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks guys! Glad you enjoyed it.


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2009)

..


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Hey Lyns  I've missed writing- possibly more coming soon.


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## Guest (Jan 30, 2009)

Hey, welcome back Jesse  .


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks Lyns <3


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- Maddening


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## Guest (Jan 31, 2009)

.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

-


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## Guest (Jan 31, 2009)

--


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Deleted.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- No Expectations


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

ChelseySmile said:


> Your poetry is so powerful. I love how well you rhyme.
> Your rhyme scheme is excellent.
> Have you ever heard of the site AllPoetry.com?
> You should expose your poetic talent there.
> ...


Wow thank you very much. I'll check out that site sometime.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Well I post all of my poetry up here, except for Tasteless which I deleted for being tasteless .


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I always put the new ones up top and make a comment when i add one.


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

ty lynsey
xxx


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

I agree with Lynsey. It's a beautiful poem. But I sense a hint of sadness in it as well. Or maybe that's just me because I see sadness where there should be happiness.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

invisible.ink said:


> I agree with Lynsey. It's a beautiful poem. But I sense a hint of sadness in it as well. Or maybe that's just me because I see sadness where there should be happiness.


No, you're right. Towards the end.


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## creativeinchaos (Dec 8, 2008)

and you don't write real poetry... pshhh.

Good work man. You must really care for this person. Hopefully the sun burning out and earth drying up and stars falling down doesn't happen in 2012! :shock:


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I love her.


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## creativeinchaos (Dec 8, 2008)

Well get on that! We may only have 3 years left!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

No you see, I have no expectations. Im not asking anything of her, I just love her and always will.


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## creativeinchaos (Dec 8, 2008)

Alright, I like your style.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2009)

your latest is really heartfelt Jess, I have to say I felt like I was ease dropping in on a private conversation.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks Greg


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New poem added- Love


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New Poem added- Identity Theft


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

--


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

.


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## utterlyadrift23 (Feb 7, 2009)

I like hollow


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

--


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

utterlyadrift23 said:


> I like hollow


Thanks, that's one of my favorites.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

Jess, I know you write a lot of poems about your past, but if you could write about your future...how do you think it would read?


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Never thought about that...maybe I should.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

If you think about it you have endless opportunity right


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I dont know. Generally I need to be feeling strong emotions to write and Im not if I can do that thinking about the future.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

Don't let the past govern your future


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I know what you're saying, but it's not so much that. It's just like ok I think about the future...maybe I'll get something published one day...dont know how I can write about that and make it good.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

Ok, use your imagination...how would you like your future to pan out..hypothetically


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I'd like to get over all of the problems in my head, have a successful career, find the love of my life, make a family and be able to support them.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

Well write about then :wink:

EDIT: If you want that is


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Well I'll try  Cant say when though, the inspiration has to hit me.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

The fact you want to do those things is enough to know that you can have those things


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Im still the same person said:


> The fact you want to do those things is enough to know that you can have those things


Hope so man, really do.


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

Definitely Jess, we can all have that if we really want it.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I agree with you about 50% :mrgreen:


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

-


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

-


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- A Cross Ticks


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

Conjurus said:


> Added- A Cross Ticks


Perfection. :wink:


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

invisible.ink said:


> Conjurus said:
> 
> 
> > Added- A Cross Ticks
> ...


 :mrgreen:


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- Living Canvas


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## Guest (Feb 12, 2009)

^-^


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Sirus said:


> :shock: Brill
> 
> Coincidence?


We're mystically connected Sirus. :mrgreen:


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## Guest (Feb 12, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

MagicK!! <3 MagicK!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- Me Too


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2009)

Interesting poem.... I like it........Jesse.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks Lynsey.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

New- Knives in my Brain


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- When Hope Fails


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

--


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2009)

...


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2009)

While you're away....Hang in there Jesse.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Are you leaving us?


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I'm back 

Added Mini Epic and Night Terrors


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## Guest (Mar 6, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Your recent additions are awesome.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Im working very hard for my goals 

thanks for encouragement lyns =)


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## Guest (Mar 7, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- Fatty


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Me too Jesse, me too. Lets make wonderful things happen then. :wink:


Wonderful things are coming Lyns- for both of us. 


And thank you for your comment above about my new poems _Mini Epic_ and _Night Terrors_. <3


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## Guest (Mar 12, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Freed_

I'd like to comment that, this poem is sort of the yang to _Drunkard's_ yin

Also added- Untitled III


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Quicksand_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Mini Epic 2_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _House by the Sea_
and _Make Believe_


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## Guest (Mar 20, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thank you Lynsey I'm really glad you enjoy them. Thank you for regularly reading and my poetry and letting me know if it's any good. I'm so thankful for your feedback- it's really the whole reason I write- for others' enjoyment. If nobody ever commented I'd probably be discouraged and wouldn't write as much, but you keep me going. 

I'm especially glad you liked _Make Believe_ because I have no consciously hidden message behind it. I don't often write just for the sake of writing- I normally only write to express feelings- but for that poem I was just writing because I like to write and it's therapeutic for me. _House by the Sea_ has a lot of meaning behind it. 

Thanks to everyone else who's commented too- I appreciate all of you.


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## Guest (Mar 21, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Right well I guess that part does have meaning  I think subconsciously the poem could mean a lot of things. Actually, I'm pretty sure it does. I'd love to learn about magickal journeying and I'm glad you liked _House by the Sea_.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _For the Love of my Life_ and _Zombies_.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Conjurus_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _For a Moment Apart_


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## Guest (Mar 28, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> wow.


Glad you liked it hon.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Manic Makes Sense_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _What Kind of Man_


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## Guest (Apr 4, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- Fragment of an Unwritten Work


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## Guest (Apr 9, 2009)

Hey Jessie

Just wanted to let you know I still read your work and think you have a great talent.

something you wrote in one of your poems really jumped out at me and made me think hard, you said "self examination filling me with dread" there is a lot to be found in that line, for me anyway......it's something that used to hold me back.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Im still the same person said:


> Hey Jessie
> 
> Just wanted to let you know I still read your work and think you have a great talent.
> 
> something you wrote in one of your poems really jumped out at me and made me think hard, you said "self examination filling me with dread" there is a lot to be found in that line, for me anyway......it's something that used to hold me back.


Cool, thanks Greg for the nice comment. I'm glad you enjoy my writings- that's really what it's all about for me- the enjoyment of others. Means a lot.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

CRAP!! I wrote a pretty lengthy poem called _Before the Aftermath_ detailing the battle that happened before my last poem. I LOST IT during the process of copy/pasting and didnt have it saved. Arg Im so devastated. I was really proud of it and there's no way I can re-write it. ><

Screw it, I'm writing it again. It won't be the same, but hopefully it will still be good.

edit again- Nope. I just can't do it. It's lost forever.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Grandpa_


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## Guest (Apr 11, 2009)

Beautiful heartfelt poem Jesse <3 I'm really glad that you had the refuge of your grandpa, he sounds like a wonderful man and he lives on in you because it shows why you turned out to be such the caring genuine man that you are, he would be very proud of you.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Beautiful heartfelt poem Jesse <3 I'm really glad that you had the refuge of your grandpa, he sounds like a wonderful man and he lives on in you because it shows why you turned out to be such the caring genuine man that you are, he would be very proud of you.


^_^ thx hon <3


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Miss You Baby_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _My Sweetheart_


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## Guest (Apr 19, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

=)


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Victory out of Loss_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _The Last Entry_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Soulmate_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Torment's End_


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## Guest (May 14, 2009)

...


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Suicidal Ideation_


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Renewal_


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## DownTheRabbitHole (May 30, 2009)

some of these poems are really excellent. probably because i feel i can relate to alot of them, but seriously good work!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thank you  Glad you like them.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _The Room_


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## DownTheRabbitHole (May 30, 2009)

Conjurus said:


> Added- _The Room_


another good poem dude! personal experience? i like how you portray the lights as trying to fight off the darkness


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks man  It has quite a lot of hidden meaning for me like a lot of what I write does. So yeah it is inspired by personal experiences. Thanks for feedback!


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## DownTheRabbitHole (May 30, 2009)

no problems

i found a notepad earlier from about 3/4 years ago.. and it has little snippets of ''poetry'' and just jotted down things in general. alot relating to DP but from before i knew what it was.

was horrible reading some of it.  lol


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Added- _Loved and Lost_


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

Hey, Jesse! How are you?


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Hey York, not doing too bad, how about you? Havn't talked to you in a long time.

Added- _Guardian Angel_


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm still very dp'd.. :? Life goes on without me... Sorry, that sounded totally depressing. Glad to hear you're ok!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

york said:


> I'm still very dp'd.. :? Life goes on without me... Sorry, that sounded totally depressing. Glad to hear you're ok!


Hey I'm glad you're back! We need to catch up sometime!


----------

