# What do you think/know caused your DR/DP?



## danilee (Jun 29, 2005)

Hi.
I am new here. I thought this would be interesting to find out. Forgive me if a thread like this has already occured. I am curious to find out how everyone started experiencing DR/DP.

I had not had an experience with DR since smoking marijuana years ago. I recently woke up with it just over a week ago. It is very chronic, I feel it almost all day and night with very short breaks of relief. I don't know for sure where it came from,. I THINK it is from extreme stress/anxiety and a horrible sinus infection that had been causing an itchy/tingly sensation in my head. I tried to tell the doc's I thought it was my sinuses, they jsut said it was stress and prescribed Lexapro. I never took it. FINALLY after I moved to Texas, my new Doc ordered an MRI, turns out deviated septum, and sinus infection (worse on the left, that is where the sensations occur).

So that is my recent history. Hope it makes sense. Its nice to meet all of you fellow dpers, I wish us a quick and safe recovery. I HATE feeling like this.

Dani


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## Lilymoonchild (Jun 18, 2005)

It's been there as long as I remember, so I don't know for sure what the cause is. I have suspected for some years now that I was sexually abused as a young child. I have no evidence or memories to support this, but I do have a lot of characteristics of someone who has been abused. If I was, it would make sense that I depersonalized to deal with that, and then it never really went away. 
Otherwise, I also suspect that thinking this way is a built-in human condition, it just is overactive in those with dp. I actually believe that of most mental disorders, though. I think that we have all of these things that our brains are supposed to do in specific circumstances, but sometimes it gets confused, and does them all the time, or to a greater degree than it's supposed to. Does that make sense?


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## RedCaineForNova (Mar 5, 2005)

i got what i believe to be dp/dr when i ate a really potent weed brownie in november. the feeling kind of left untill i got a concussion in june (at the ER they didnt even give me an x ray)...now its back but the doctors said its probly post concussion snydrome..it can last up to 6 months or even longer...im praying its just PCS

i also suspect it probly is really bad anxiety. cause i dont really talk about my feelings at all to many people, i hold them inside..

i was supose to get an MRI but i guess thats not happening cause my parents didnt make an appointment yet...my dad thinks im just making this up and my mom i duno she cares but its hard for people to understand what this feeling is like...i got a blood test but they never called back even though they were supose to..i should call them tomorow..

im going to a therapist soon and hopefully she might find out whats wrong with me

should i still get an MRI to rule out other things?


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## falling_free (Nov 3, 2004)

Pot


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## delicateshadow (Jul 2, 2005)

traumatic premature birth via forceps
separation from mother for the first month of my life
invalidating and 'cold' dysfunctional family(and am only child)
being bullied for 10 years at school

I learnt to 'go away'
well, with that, who wouldn't?

Katie


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

Drugs.

Dextromethorphan (DXM) and marijuana.

I smoked a few weeks after combining the two and then smoked a joint to myself and had a terrible panic episode, leading to worry and then DP/DR. Thought I was going nuts, and sometimes the thought crosses my mind still, but I know better.


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2005)

I'm another "burger" who had a bizarre experience with some potent bud.
I didnt realize it at the time, but I suppose I was a pile of kindling waiting for ignition. I took a lot of emotional abuse as a kid. Had a text book case of existential depression as a teen. Drugs make for a sorry introduction to psychosis, in my humble opinion. But, life goes on, if you can hold on. And my life has improved incrementally over the years.
Peabody 73

"Life's not fair, so its OK to cheat"


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## delicateshadow (Jul 2, 2005)

am I the 'odd one out'.....AGAIN?????


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## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

Lily, that's very interesting what you say about thinking you were sexually abused as a child. That thought has crossed my mind, because I as well wonder this. However, my therapist and others have told me that I would at least remember something of the abuse, but then I hear about people who honestly had no idea for a long time. What symptoms do you feel indicate sexual abuse for you? I have an unhealthy view towards sex, think it is dirty/wrong (although this could also come from the constant injection that homsexuality is wrong and sinful), i have so much anger inside me for no real apparent reason, overactive guilt, etc. However, again, a lot of this could all tie back to fighting with my homosexuality. I got really freaked out for a while thinking "what if it was my parents, maybe that's why i don't want to talk about dating/sex with them" but then i realized that if it was they wouldnt' just stop when I got older...and I know for sure i wasn't abused as far back as I can remember well.

ANYWAY...my dp/dr I think is caused by
1)Living a lie all through middle school and high school. Playing the striaght person, never letting anyone know my true identity. Constantly putting on a facade may have let to seperation from my true self.
2) Never expressing my true emotions. Holding things inside.
3) When my brother went through a very depressive/suicidal stage, I decided then and there to always be the good child, never causing problems. This goes along with number two. I never did anything to worry my parents, tried hard to never upset them, even hid my own problems, internalized everything to avoid bothering them. They never asked for or even wanted this, but I took it upon myself to do this. To this day, I lie about my shortcomings, if i'm not doing well in class or going to class, whatever. I don't talk to them about my problems with dating etc.
4) Constant worrying and other things that go along with my OCD and anxiety.


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## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

What do you mean, "odd one out again", angel?


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

I think we really need to distinguish between the _causes_ and the _triggers_.

Mine was certainly triggered by a bad trip on ridiculous amounts of drugs. But I don't know if that was the only factor in causing it, or if there were underlying issues beforehand.


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## delicateshadow (Jul 2, 2005)

sorry...angry alone moment...... 

I was/have always been the odd one out, different.....

My dp/dr/psychotic anxieties have not been caused by drugs, have never taken a drug or drunk in my life
so am odd....again....


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## enigma (Feb 18, 2005)

soiledangel said:


> I was/have always been the odd one out, different.....


Same here.

Don't know to what extent it was a factor in my dp/dr onset, but it definitely played a role.

In my case, there's a ridiculously long list of factors I suspect, all outlined in "Personal enigma" (which so far people have just been going in to gawk at in the same way you would a car wreck).

e


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

trigger: marijuana (100% sure)


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## delicateshadow (Jul 2, 2005)

> In my case, there's a ridiculously long list of factors I suspect, all outlined in "Personal enigma" (which so far people have just been going in to gawk at in the same way you would a car wreck).


which forum is it in, enigma?


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## enigma (Feb 18, 2005)

soiledangel said:


> which forum is it in, enigma?


"Depersonalization & Derealization Stories"

e


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## Lilymoonchild (Jun 18, 2005)

soiledangel said:


> sorry...angry alone moment......
> 
> I was/have always been the odd one out, different.....
> 
> ...


I never took any drugs until I was 22, and I had dp long before that. 
I think drugs can cause some of the same physical and psychological stress that traumatic childhoods cause. So really, I don't think drugs and trauma are as different as they appear. Which ultimately means we're all in the same boat, regardless of the specific cause.


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## whiterabbit (Aug 16, 2004)

Soiledangel, do not be afeared, you are not the odd one out. I have not touched drugs either (I wouldn't because I knew there was something strangely wrong with my head although I didn't know what). I have no childhood trauma either, loving family and all that, but then even in loving families there can be deeply sown emotional difficiulties - therapists would have me believe that these are partly what has caused my dp as well as big confusion over sexual identity. Hope that is some consolation to you - I think the causes of dp/dr are very diverse, and at the moment I don't think I have dp, I am just brain dead and don't really function normally...but then I know I have thought all these things before....and so it goes on......


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

XTC


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## delicateshadow (Jul 2, 2005)

thank you...I don't want to alienate myself...its a painfully familiar 'habit'...

K.


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## Tinga (May 21, 2005)

My therapist recently said that I seem to be cut off from my emotions as well. I am controlling them too much. I guess in some ways i can see that. I am not sure how to proceed though. If I am emotionally separate from myself, i have always been this way (long as i can remember). So where do i go from here? This is a question for next session, lol. I have never done drugs either, no traumatic event stands out. So I guess the point of this ramble is that i don't know why I would have begun shutting off my emotions...I had always felt in touch with them, ironically,lol. And so, what to do what to do. :roll: 
Thanx for enduring my ramble as always.. :wink:


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## coco33 (Feb 18, 2005)

Cause: emotional child abuse

Triger: stress from becoming a mum


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## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

Hey Tinga, I am the same way. No trauma, good childhood, no drugs, all of that, and I am also fairly cut off from my emotions. This seems to be a problem with my dp/dr, I don't know what I'm feeling half the time, so hey, my brain seems to think, let's just stop it all and make 'im feel crazy and unreal! I get serious dp when I am angry, or sad and feel the need to cry. When I see something in a movie that touches me and i feel like tearing up, i stop myself and then i feel the dp/dr later. At work, I am unhappy, and I have bad dp/dr sometimes. My problem is i don't let myself FEEL these things...I've long since thought i need to always be happy and kind and pleasant and always like where I am and what I'm doing. Hmm, and I wonder why i feel so disconnected all the time... :roll:

Interestingly, my mom asked me the other day "I don't understnad what you could have underlying issue wise. You are always so in touch with yourself and connected to your feelings." Ah well, I wish i was. Sigh.


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## w_connelly (Dec 20, 2004)

I remember it really well. It was about 12 months ago, I was at work and I was looking at people walking in and out, and walking into town etc. I remember thinking to myself what is this all about, why are we here etc. Stupid I know but I suddenly got this feeling were I felt like I wasn't there. It felt really strange and I instantly forgot bout it. Over a 2 month period, i'd think this same thought getting the DP feeling but then forgetting instantly bout it. I then made the fateful error of thinking shit thats quite a scary feeling, imagin if I constantly felt like that. And the rest is history.


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## Welshlad (Jul 11, 2005)

regardless of the initial cause of my dp, I think that's one of the main reasons I developed dp full time so to speak and that induced the panic attacks, which i'm now over thankfully. I Just thought about it too much.


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2005)

Guilt and anxiety.

Also, strange feelings deep inside me I will never be able to explain in words.


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## Darek (Jul 14, 2005)

Marihuana (skunk) - and that was a second joint in my whole life. A panic episode, when I thought my head is split it two. I remember the feeling I was trying to lock myself in my own head to avoid this experience. Since then, I am still locked up in and I can?t go out.
Also, I should say, it happened in a hard situation - I?ve lost my girlfriend and been alone in foreign country. Well I didn?t know what "hard situation" is, then. Now I know.


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