# Obsessed with not recognizing



## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm so obsessed with the fact I can't recognize my old home, which I moved out from in august. I moved out because I was so freaked out by this "symptom". I don't think I'll ever be able to go there (my b.f and son lives there) again and feeling like I know it.

I had a panic-attack January -08 and my whole life was gone. Or so it feels. I think if I just remembered again, the DP would go away. I obsess over this a million times a day, every day, seriously. I go by the old house from time to time, although not too close, as there is a magical invisible border about 150 meters away which I can't cross without fReAkiNg out with dp.

I so want it to feel normal!! I want so bad to feel like I really lived there at one point and felt at home there. I've gone crazy! Can anyone relate to any of this? This is the core of my madness, the unfamiliarity of everything relating to my life before 2008.


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## Guest (Feb 24, 2010)

Hi Anne,

I also had lived in our house for all of my life. Except when I got DP there was no longer any recognition of familiarity. So I eventually convinced my mom (after my parents divorced) to sell the house and move to California so she could be with my sister and her family (kids you know). I don't have memories anymore and when I pass by the house it is just a house. But I also have a deep feeling that I cannot readily feel that it is my home. Peace.


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## BananaMan (Jul 23, 2009)

I don't think I will ever be able to go back to where I used to work. Even driving past caused me to (I was going to say freak out, but that is not it, close but not). Have since moved towns, but went back to visit for a few days, never want to do that ever again!

Something about this post made me remember that someone medical suggested at some stage that I may have post traumatic stress disorder. Random thought.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I think I got PSTD from my first experience with dp. I never was able to forget the horror of it, and I've always been scared when I've gone to bed at night that it'd come back. I could for years almost feel that switch in my brain that would turn it back on, like I could do it if I tried. Sometimes I'd feel the anxiety and the feeling of my mind separating from my body, creep up on me, and I'd get out of bed and take a benzo and watch t.v, trying hard to empty my mind. I kept it at bay for 12 years like this.
I'm positive had I never had dp after having had an anxiety attack after the fire I was in at 16, I'd never ever had it ever in my life. To know that something as scary as dp existed, changed me forever. The fire was easy to forget about, losing my self, wasn't.

I don't understand how getting PTSD from having an illness is so overlooked, surely I can't be the only one?


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I remember the exact place I was when I got DP. It was in the 1st parking space on the very right hand side by the dorm I lived in in college. I've been back a few times since and sometimes just stare at that spot. It's a total mind trip.


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