# It seems to explain it all, but still uncertain



## felimz (Jul 4, 2006)

I am Felipe from Florida. I am 19 years old and am currently attending the University of Miami. Like most of you, I am here to find some answers and comfort. Here's my story:

On February 15, 2006, I had a very bad trip caused by Marijuana; I had to be rushed to the hospital and went through what I believed was the worst experience of my life. It took me about a week to regain normalcy. Nonetheless, I developed an unbound curiosity for the experience and became mildly obsessed with trying to understand severe changes in perception. I read Aldous Huxley, Albert Hoffman, you name it. Still, I lived my live normally until I got a bad sinus infection around April. I took antihistamines and pseudoephedrine-based cold & sinus medications for about 4-weeks. At times, the world seemed severely detached, but I attributed the experience to the medication. On May 23rd, I went to a doctor, who prescribed Mucinex-D along with some antibiotic. By May 27th, I had fallen into severe panic, with more than 5 of them every day for around a week. I immediately began an unprescribed Xanax treatment recommended by my mother (who is a Psychologist), and it slightly helped. When the panic stopped, I was left with a severe feeling of detachment. I genuinely thought I was going insane. Obviously, all logical and detailed description of how "the world and reality was being ripped apart from me" seemed to indicate that I was indeed not going crazy. Nobody really appeared to understand the severity of what I was trying to convey. I became slightly hypochondriac just in desperation of trying to understand my condition. It couldn't be just Anxiety or Panic. It's been nearly a month of hell, and I am now seeing a counselor and a Psychiatrist. They say it is a Panic Disorder and that my feeling of detachment is just a defense mechanism that will eventually go away. Still, I have related to and felt nearly every symptom described on this website: feeling of unreality, 2-d-like perception, a feeling of just having arrived to the world, ponderings of whether my reality has always been imagined, a hypersensitive reaction to bright light and loud sounds, being stripped off pleasure and emotion, bouts of desperation and cries when I feel I cannot fight it anymore, feeling HORRIBLE when waking up, etc, etc, etc. I took Celexa (anti-depressant) for anxiety for a week, but it made the experience much worse. When looking at Celexa side-effects, I came across the word "depersonalization," and that is how I arrived here. It was miraculous. I suddenly found something that made complete sense to me, but I am afraid it is my hypochondria speaking. I need help from you, who have experience in this, to tell me whether I am suffering from DPD, and to give me a slight indication of how long this bad nightmare might last. I will tell my psychiatrist about this condition tomorrow and try to steer my theraphy in that direction. For now, I would greatly appreciate your feedback.

I hope I haven't made this too long. I am just trying to be objective and detailed so that I can get better answers. You sound like a great group. Keep it up!

Sincerely,

Felipe


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## strigoi (Jun 27, 2006)

DR/DP is a anxiety/panic condition, or a defense mechanism. DR/DP isn't believed to be something like, say, a cold. There is an underlying factor in why someone experiences it, although many people here including myself seem to have been thrown into this state by drug use.

I am just guessing but I would say you had such a bad reaction to pot (as I did) and your head can not forget that 'world' you where in. You also mention research alot about altered states, etc. I did this for a while too and it made me worse! I really believe that the more you look into stuff like that the more you 'feel' that way, as you said, a hypocondriac. The best thing I ever did was stop worring all the time and just live life like I always use too. Who knows why were here? If we were meant to know we would, just enjoy nature, the people you know and the experiences you have (good or bad). So I would stop researching for a while and try to stick to just the 'road to recovery' on this board, if you stop reading about the negative symptoms of dr/dp it may help.

As far as getting medicinal help many people (including me) find benzoprenes (sp?) help alot. These are medicines such as xanax, valium, klonopin, etc. You said xanax made you feel better for a little bit, which they do , as well as valium. But I find klonopin works much better and lasts a longer time than the other two I mentioned. I would recommend xanax and valium to people that have some time of social aniexty, they are something you could take and go to an amusement park and be back hope before you begin worrying again. But for us who suffer most of the time I think klonopin is the best.

Also I would start asking about SSRI's, it will take a while to find the right one. But once you do it should take away some of your racing thoughts and depression, which will help you cope with any dp/dr you may have.


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## missjiller (Sep 8, 2006)

i think you are definately a hypochodriac but i think that comes along with dp/dr territory. i have always been a hypochondriac but i almost think that that is where my dp/dr stemed from (in a way). i don't think you think you have these problems as a result of being a hypochondriac though... you experience all of the symptoms that i have been experiencing and i KNOW that i am a hypo & have dp/dr. i have always thought things like... "oh god i have cancer... i feel like i have a brain tumor... maybe i have an ulcer?" it's sucky i hate it... but i can never escape the thoughts. if i had read a book on ms or a disease i would think i have it! i think dp/dr is our brain's reaction of knowing too much about too many crazy f-u*c ked up scary things... honestly... dp/dr is hand in hand with fear & anxiety... 
the reason i think hypochondriacs & dp/dr 'ers have so much linked between them is because they both initiate by getting a circle of worries in your head of "what if what if what if" when your mind starts working in a circle and you brain uses it's defense mechanism (dp) to protect it from the harsh circle of intense thoughts that your brain is processing and giving you fear and anxiety problems.

that was my big story but i hope you get what i mean.. if you wanna chat pm me


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