# HELP! My story!!



## whataraindyday (Feb 6, 2019)

Hey everyone!
Okay... so about 2 months ago I smoked weed ( I have smoked maybe 6 times before) after that I felt dizzy and slightly derealized, but after 3 days I suddenly had a panik attake, after that I had DR, it got better (almost cured) but then I started thinking what if it is sth. worser? I got obsessed with schizophrenia,I read symptoms and forums and it got worser and worser every week! My mind is dizzy, I feel spaced out, strange (everything is strange!) I have flashbacks (I was abused in my childhood-although I don't remember much), intrusive images and memories,I have that feeling that I'm somewhere else-sometime ago, timee is strange,I'm confused, I'm scared that I'll mix up reality and fantasy and dream,I make up strange things in my mind, like delusions (I know it's sh.t, but what if I start to belive in them or I already do??), I need to stop myselve from daydreaming, I'm numb-I only feel anxiety and stress, I'm tired and weak, I need to stop myselve from daydreaming or creating useless stories and conversations that'll never happen, I feel depressed, hopeless, alone, I' obsessed with the thought what if someone can read my mind or so?? It's not possible, bit that feeling that I might start to belive in it...I'm unconcentrated(although I got better at school), random songs are in my mind, I'm kinda scared of everything...my surrounding and so...Everytime I think it gets better - it only gets worser
It's like a nightmare on acid...
I'm 100% sure I'm psychotic or I'm in prodome phase of schizophrenia... Yesterday sth weird happend - I was in the middle of a thought and suddenly, out of the nowhere (It was like I had 2 thoughts at the same time) I heard in my own voice or was it thought... the word "victim" I'm so scared!!! I'm going mad!! I just want to live a normal life, bit that's hell!! What do you think? Am I crazy or??? Is DR/DP prodome phase of schizo? I'm scared!!! I'm 16 and watching my life passing by and going mad is not how my life should be!


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## anitas (Aug 28, 2018)

Hi sorry for your suffering. I don't think you're psychotic ,it's the horrible symptoms that we get that makes us think we are psychotic. I've had and still have some of your symptoms and still get more out of no where ,all of this happened after being on antibiotics ,not to many people catch it right away because symptoms start developing days to weeks after taking the medication. But that's my case. Where you taking any medication around the time you started to have your symptoms ? Hope you feel better soon.


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

That part about daydreaming and creating stories or conversations in your head that will never actually manifest in reality...I very much relate to that issue.


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## Internal_essence (Feb 14, 2019)

Hello no need to worry. refer to this page on youtube https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=spiritual+awakening+or+psychosis


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