# My recovery story



## sofoloj (May 23, 2008)

Greetings,

I know this may look long a bit , but I hope it is worth to read. My name is Joseph and I have 26 years, I have been an anxiety and panic attacks sufferer from over seven years now, with on and off periods, however, my worst period with DP/DR began from 4 months in a row, with a few moments of relief, I went into the deepest darkness that the DP/DR can cause, with the majority of its nasty symptoms I will tell you what I felt during those three months: (I had both DP and DR)

1-I was feeling that most of the time that I am inexistent, as though the world exists but I am not a participant in this work but rather a viewer only. (DR)

2-I had those terrible existential thoughts that (who I am, why I am here, what is to live, what is life, etc?) (DP)

3-I felt everything around me strange/bizarre, as though I came today to the world with no memories, everything around (even my parents) looked strange and subject to fear. (DR).

4-I had constant questioning whether I am still alive or no (note that it is something very familiar with the DR sufferers, which is close to cotards syndrome, but note that it is only 
Temporary) (DR).

5- I had no emotions at all, I didn?t feel any love to the people around me that I used to love and interact/communicate with (DP).

6-i was very analytical to everything, I wanted to analyze and dissociate everything 
to have a clearer image about things (even the silliest things). (DP).

7-I was always like not fully awake, half awake (DR).

My recovery process began from 2 weeks, when I decided to go out from this dark hole in my life that is literally enclosing it, and suddenly an idea came out to my mind:

I tried to find out what was the reason or the circumstances that caused my few moments of relief during these three months, and i tried to follow a certain pattern in order to see what was happening, and amazingly, the outcome was the following:

I discovered that the few moments of relief were the moments when I didn?t think in my condition, were the moments when I distracted myself (body and mind), were the moments When I didn?t care what will happen to me, in other words,
when I said ?I don?t care what will happen to me anymore?.

At that moment, I felt a huge relief, and I suddenly 90% of my DP/Dr went off. I knew at that moment miraculously that all the DP/DR was in my had and was only because of my Constant checking to my status and how I feel, and to the credit I gave to my condition.

When I felt better, and after reading hundreds of stories of recovered people, I found out 
Something incontestably true:

1-Although the DP/DR is verrrryyyyy disturbing and unpleasant at moment, but it is a magical mechanism created in our mind and nervous system to protect us, to isolate us from the external world in order (because the mind becomes so tired and it can?t process any further external danger to handle it/deal with it, so the mind retreats itself from the battlefield to take a small nap, hehe) to have a break, and that?s why all the DP/DR sufferers feel disconnected from the outside world, though they feel it is a bad sign , but in fact it is a very powerful protection mechanism to keep our mind in safety ( it is a mechanism found in the animals nervous system as well).

2- The magical solution to recover from DP/DR is one thing ?distraction?. Distraction can be Socializing, sports, internet, chatting, reading books, listening to music, etc..
Anything that keeps your mind busy. (Even don?t enter DP/DR websites or forums,
because it keeps your mind in the same pattern of thinking of your condition).

3- The DP/DR are almost the same, they belong the same mechanism (getting your mind away from both external world- DR and from your emotions-DP).

4-I now love my life more than I ever did in my life before I had this condition( and I am very happy that I had DP/DR now-hehe- because I know and feel the beauty of life), because I went through the darkness and after this darkness I came to life again with more power and perseverance to enjoy my life. I can add even that I don?t fear anything anymore, because after passing through all kinds of fears that a human being can pass by, I discovered the key word in my life: there is nothing to fear in this life, literally nothing, God created us the masters of this world nothing has to make us feel fear, and God don?t give us more than we can bear (but unfortunately some people especially those with DP/DR fear themselves and the way they feel).

5- A trick that manifests itself to all DP/DR sufferers which is the feeling that you are the only one in the world and/or you only know the truth in this life and the others don?t and/or you only asks the existential questions but others don?t?. I assume to you all, that all these are only tricks that DP/DR play on you, be quite sure that all people in the world ask these existential questions (even those with no definite answers), but the difference is that they don?t give it that much credit and they immediately switch their thinking to something more useful, whereas the DP/DR sufferers keep on asking these questions because they are caught in a vicious circle of fear, and the mind of DP/DR sufferers keeps scanning potential dangers/threats , and try to find safety to log on, and since
The existential questions don?t have definite and mathematical questions, the mind keeps
hovering above the same point. In other words, the difference between DP/R sufferers and non sufferers is that the non DP/DR sufferers (because they don?t have anxiety) immediately switch their mind to other things after asking these questions.

6- I noticed that many DP/R sufferers claim to have this condition for long time (chronic), sometimes up to 30 or 40 years. Here I can tell you that there is no doubt that the DP/DR condition is temporary, but what keeps it alive with chronic sufferers is the fact that they keep checking their condition constantly without trying to go out from it, and that keeps the condition alive ( it can be eliminated within minutes when the sufferers goes out from this pattern of habits and it can last 100 years if the sufferers keeps himself and his mind dwelling onto his condition constantly).

7- The DP/DR are automatic defense mechanism created by the mind, and therefore it is completely futile to try to observe/obstruct/resist them. It is the same mechanism like many other mechanisms created in the human body to protect itself, I can tell you an example: when you swim in very cold water, your body begins to shake in order to create energy to keep your body warm with enough heat to keep your vital organs alive. The same applies to DP/DR, but the sufferer when facing for the first time the DP/DR begins
to resist the feeling which keeps the condition alive.

Finally, I am sure and I assume that the DP/DR isn?t bad at all, it is a protection mechanism created in the human body, it is kept alive only by our fear of it. Don?t 
take it as a bad sign , it will not get to anything else, it is not a psychotic condition but rather a simple protection mechanism.

I am sure that every one of you has the tools inside himself to go out from this condition.
I wish you all the best of luck, just believe in yourselves and in the potentials of your mind.

God bless you all !.
You can reach me at [email protected]


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## letsgetbetter (May 29, 2008)

Amazing words! You are an inspiration and everyone with DP should read this! 100% agree with everything you have said. People who have been through dp and recovered understand it the best and are usually stronger and happier than ever! Well done!


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## seanhunta (Jan 31, 2008)

yeah i agree, well said. makes sense bravo!


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## Neil1427 (Jul 18, 2008)

Hello,

Just wanted to say what a wonderful post that was.

I've had this for 3 years now and slowly getting better. Only yesterday i've found out what it is, i was just diagnosed with anxiety which kind of made sense.

To keep this short, i want to add that it's true that you have to keep your self distracted, to keep pushing yourself and challenging it rather than checking it is still there. That?s why it exists. It?s the true illness of irony. ?

Reading that there was no cure concerned me, but after a few reads particularly this one i now understand it. Thanks so much I believe your read was another step to my full recovery.

All please believe that if you distract and deny it any time to exist you will beat it.

Neil

PS... I'm trying hypnotherapy next week to assist. I've read great things with it dealing with anxiety so it can only benefit. Positive thinking!


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## Tenken (Dec 28, 2007)

You gave me alot more hope thanks alot for that.


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