# dead



## Strangerdanger (Oct 3, 2010)

yeah I pretty much feel dead.all the time. I have no joy in my life. I am depressed, working two jobs in my dreams it feels like. None of it feels real but all of it feels bad, if you know what I mean. I really am trying So hard to get better. It just seems like it's not doing any good. Nobody knows the mental hell I go through every second of everyday so everyone just thinks I'm a socially retarded B word and I see in their faces how much people don't like me, it hurts and makes me feel and act even worse. I used to be a social butterfly but now I'm dead. I seriously wish I didn't have to live. I'm not going to give up, but I wish I could. I just need to get outside of myself but I don't know how. I'm trapped in my small depressing little world. How do I escape?


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Strangerdanger said:


> yeah I pretty much feel dead.all the time. I have no joy in my life. I am depressed, working two jobs in my dreams it feels like. None of it feels real but all of it feels bad, if you know what I mean. I really am trying So hard to get better. It just seems like it's not doing any good. Nobody knows the mental hell I go through every second of everyday so everyone just thinks I'm a socially retarded B word and I see in their faces how much people don't like me, it hurts and makes me feel and act even worse. I used to be a social butterfly but now I'm dead. I seriously wish I didn't have to live. I'm not going to give up, but I wish I could. I just need to get outside of myself but I don't know how. I'm trapped in my small depressing little world. How do I escape?


I know how you feel and it's so so painful. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Nobody should have to go through this.

Please just take a minute to know that I am appreciating your suffering. You are not alone and I am so so sorry that you are feeling this way. It was never meant to be like this.

I'm so sorry


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

Strangerdanger said:


> yeah I pretty much feel dead.all the time. I have no joy in my life. I am depressed, working two jobs in my dreams it feels like. None of it feels real but all of it feels bad, if you know what I mean. I really am trying So hard to get better. It just seems like it's not doing any good. Nobody knows the mental hell I go through every second of everyday so everyone just thinks I'm a socially retarded B word and I see in their faces how much people don't like me, it hurts and makes me feel and act even worse. I used to be a social butterfly but now I'm dead. I seriously wish I didn't have to live. I'm not going to give up, but I wish I could. I just need to get outside of myself but I don't know how. I'm trapped in my small depressing little world. How do I escape?


I know how you feel, sometimes I look in the mirror and the dark rings under my eyes make me think that i'm half corpse or something. Just keep going is all I can say


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## resonantblue (Mar 15, 2011)

Hey,
I can definitely relate. I'm sure a lot of us on here can. 
I know that what I write are just words, and it's easy to say things to someone but so hard to do.. but maybe they can help you a little bit.
what helps me when I am feeling the way you are is to think about the fact that everything is temporary, including my existence. 
try to focus on the fact that even these feelings that are threatening to swallow you up aren't going to be there forever, no matter what. And try to realize that YOU are not those feelings.. you are the one who is witnessing them.. don't let them trick you into thinking that you ARE that depression. It's just a state. The other thing I have been doing that helps with the DP/DR is to realize that if I can feel so awful.. I exist! I let the depression at least ground me in myself.. nobody else feels your feelings but you.
As for "escaping" your little world... yesterday I was lying on my living room floor feeling similar to what you're describing and I realized that I keep thinking that the way I feel is the way the world IS. Do you know what I mean? Like my feelings take over everything around me.. so I tried to focus on the fact that it's spring outside.. the world keeps going on.. that it's ME who's making it seem depressing because I'm depressed.. 
Also, definitely try to find someone to talk to, I think that is VERY important.


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