# Do you still belive in recovery?



## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

*Recovery*​
*Do you believe recovery is possible?*

Yes19100.00%Np00.00%


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

This place feels stagnant and grey lately.

I can't help but feel that part of the reason is do to the idea of recovery eroding.

"Recovery is possible" was always somewhere in the replies to terrified new members, I worry it's going to be replaced by "Most people manage to cope", or something like that.

Perhaps it's just me, but the feeling of hope and enthusiasms are being overshadowed by solidarity through common misery.


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## bluecanary (May 2, 2014)

I believe recovery is possible for some, but I'm starting to become concerned that it isn't possible for me. There are folks who have been here for years, and I think maybe their focus has shifted from recovery to management (although I can't speak for anyone but myself - you'd have to ask them to be sure). Lately I feel as though my DP is getting worse and worse, and you're right - for me I'm starting to see this forum as less a place to aid recovery and more as a place to commiserate with others who know what I'm going through. While both are valuable, I'm wishing for more of the former.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Since most people do recover, then yes. Even some who have suffered for years.

While this is a wide open topic, here are a few 'traps' that can interfere with betting better

*Being too close minded*. A person might insist that their recovery must be method 'A' because it appeals to them (for whatever reason). But they might be helped with 'B', 'C', or 'D'. So don't be afraid to learn other possibilities. Whether its acupuncture, CBT, God, meditation, or medications, there are always more options.

*Being impatient*. The mind is complex. Give yourself time. If it takes years ... then that is what it takes.

*Being too concerned*. That may sound strange but if your life is all about getting better, you lose 'life'. It is one thing in the first few months ... but quite another when it drags on longer. Yes, having these problems is a real downer. For some it even interferes with school or their job. There is an expression, "Does your disorder define you?" Make room in your life for life. Friends, goals, music, hobbies, etc...

*Being overly concerned about others' viewpoint of you*. It is most important how you view yourself (relationship with self). A term: "Getting Grounded". Some of this comes with age ... with experience. There is a saying, "At 20 I used to worry about what people thought of me. At 40 I stopped worrying. At 60 I realized they were not thinking about me anyway."

*Being too sensitive*. Its easy to get upset about something. Some people new to DP get afraid, sometimes hostile, toward people who suffer for decades. People who have suffered for decades don't like people saying there is an 'easy' cure. There are many people, many languages, many cultures, many mistakes, and many successes. Chill and learn from each other. Its part of tolerance.

*Being afraid to chose*. Sometimes not making a decision is worse than a wrong decisions. Most directions in life can be changed - a car has a steering wheels and a reverse gear.

No doubt there are more things to consider. Hopefully other members will chime in with ideas.


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## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

Abso-fucking-lutely. And I cant wait to be 100% recovered in time.


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

As Visual said, impatience is a problem.

In my view, looking at it in this box - I have fully recovered from all DP symptoms and I'm back to where I started before onset (which many here do) - is unhelpful.

Firstly, you don't actually want to be what you were before DP onset BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GOT DP.

Secondly, there are many changes you may have to make in your life to overcome DP. Are you making those changes? If you are, then it's unlikely you'll feel discouraged as you'll see progress at some point. If you aren't, how do you expect to recover? Recovery takes overcoming serious blocks, fears, resistance - a lot of which is unconscious or subconscious. It takes time to acquire insight into the blocks, let alone take actions to create the new you.

Thirdly, as Visual again put it so well, "don't be too concerned." While you are making all these changes you simultaneously have to learn to be present and not be off in your head thinking "when am I going to recover?" That's not going to bring you closer to recovery. Practice just...being.


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## Noooooope (Jun 25, 2014)

the thought of being recovered and back to normal is what gives me hope : D or else life wouldn't be worth living anymore if there was no chance of recovery


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Scratch that


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Selig said:


> Logically, some people will experience full remission and others will learn to cope. It's good to be hopeful yet realistic.


If we want to be realistic, then I doubt more then 20% of people will ever see a remission, and for those who do maybe a 10th at best will go more than 2 years without an extensive relapse.

I'm beginning to wonder at what point I just give up and accept that I'm probably just going to feel like shit the rest of my life, unless I decide to spend all of my disposable income on drugs and therapies to reach a tolerable level of suffering.

Life is to be experienced, which is impossible if feel detached from everything, so then what's the point? Should I just keep struggling forward for the slim chance at a brief break from this shit?

I don't see the point anymore, no matter how good I make my life it'll all just feel distant and grey.

I could have everything I want out of life and it would be utterly meaningless.

I'll never be present for any of my own accomplishments to any sort of satisfaction for them.

So why bother?

I'm "close minded" about medication because if I find some that fix my various mental issues then I worry I'm going to feel less like an complex emotional being and more like a genetically inferior sack of broken chemicals.

I don't want all the adversity I've faced and everything I've done to try and over come it being undermined by the thought that I could have just taken a pill.

High school sure was horse shit, glad to know five years later that it would have been much better if I just took the right pill, the problem was me the whole time!

I also don't want to find out that maybe all of those hundreds of hours I've poured into researching and applying psychology could have been achieved easily by taking a damn pill!

That's why people into psychology and psychotherapy get pissy about medication.

Spending years doing a fuckton of hard work to feel better and then seeing people effortlessly achieve exactly that is INFURIATING!

It took so much time and effort to overcome my crippling social anxiety, then I see people who were in the same situation as me leading happy anxiety free lives in a month because they went on a benzo.

It makes me feel like I was just wasting my time and needlessly doing things the hard way.

Am I better off? Probably, because I actually got to the bottom of the problem, but the contempt is there regardless.

Of course, telling people that the pill is probably just covering up the real issue is rude.

Yes, it's all just fear and bitter spite.

Maybe if I got over it I could post up a recovery story in a few months about how some pill fixed me, and somewhere underneath have a little bullet point about my 2 years of working with psychology


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## Noooooope (Jun 25, 2014)

Pyrite said:


> If we want to be realistic, then I doubt more then 20% of people will ever see a remission, and for those who do maybe a 10th at best will go more than 2 years without an extensive relapse.
> 
> I'm beginning to wonder at what point I just give up and accept that I'm probably just going to feel like shit the rest of my life, unless I decide to spend all of my disposable income on drugs and therapies to reach a tolerable level of suffering.
> 
> ...


.... *crying*


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Lina2014 said:


> .... *crying*


I'm just miserable and frustrated right now, so don't taken anything I say here seriously.

I just pulled those numbers out of thin air.

It's been much better for me then I make it sound, I'm just being overly dramatic because I'm upset, I get like that some times.

I've developed a lot of self awareness, and for the most part that has meant having to watch myself make stupid mistakes like this.

The other people who posted here are the right ones.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Some recover, some will always have this....people are different and different things help them...Unfortunately after over 20 years of this condition im one who has just learned to accept it and cope as best i can...

But having said this i totally believe others have and will continue to recover from this condition using different methods...

The only thing that ever helped me was medicine so i guess im an advocate of medication (It has helped me live a somewhat reasonable life) But honestly i have never experienced a DP symptom free period in all the years ive had this condition...Its been constant...Over time i have in a way adjusted to it (ONLY with the aid of meds)

The most horrible thing i have to deal with is the disconnection from my wife (sometimes i just look at her and feel nothing) but i know my mind is playing tricks on me and i truly love her with all my heart...

Thats the way my DP is for me...Constant questioning of whether feelings are real or imaginary...Over 20 years of this and still no shift...But i will not knock people who have recovered..I say well done to them...And i will always still continue to look for my own cure......


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

Looking at this from a statistical viewpoint is unhelpful, because it completely bypasses discussion of cause and effect.

Even if it were true that only 20% of people fully recovered, that is not any kind of indicator whether any one particular individual will recover.

This is not a lottery where you can't help your odds.

Those individuals who are in the X% (whether that X is 20 or 99.9) will have done what is required of them to recover. That is all. That is what any particular person needs to concern themselves with.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

What concerns me about alot of people who claim to be recovered is that they all seem to still have some mild symptoms...Is this classed as full recovery or is it learning to live and adjust to the symptoms to such an extent that they are no longer disturbing...To me recovery means a full cessation of ALL symptoms and NO return of same....

I don't think a cancer sufferer would consider themselves cured if their cancer was in remission but it had a 10% chance of returning..And with cancer it's a matter of life and death...

I simply believe that no matter how good you are feeling if there are still DP symptoms no matter how mild you are not fully recovered and DP is just waiting in the cupboard doing pushup ready to catch you out when you least expect it...

My DP comes back often when I least expect it....

Maybe people need to change the word CURED for COPING? And the word RECOVERED to REMISSION?


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

eddy1886 said:


> What concerns me about alot of people who claim to be recovered is that they all seem to still have some mild symptoms...Is this classed as full recovery or is it learning to live and adjust to the symptoms to such an extent that they are no longer disturbing...To me recovery means a full cessation of ALL symptoms and NO return of same....
> 
> I don't think a cancer sufferer would consider themselves cured if their cancer was in remission but it had a 10% chance of returning..And with cancer it's a matter of life and death...
> 
> ...


Quite honestly I hate the word remission because it breeds the thought that it's just going to come back anyway.

Plenty of people recover and have 0 symptoms.

Remission is not nearly as encouraging as recovery, and encouragement is crucial.

Besides, you never know if someone will never have there symptoms return until they die, so I think it's safe to call it a recovery after a few years.

Other wise there will be people who haven't had a symptom in 30 years still calling it a remission, which is just silly at that point.

I'd rather not have the recovery stories renamed "temporary remission stories"


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## Guest (Jul 2, 2014)

Pyrite said:


> Plenty of people recover and have 0 symptoms.


Please provide us with published scientific data to prove what you say.


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