# blah blah blah



## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Ok so Im now at a stage where I am completely numb to everything. I have some logical thoughts, but it's amazing how without your emotions to drive and determine decisions how paralysed and lost you really are.

I'd give anything to be sad. Just so I could feel some emotion, but I can't. What's worse is that I don't know how I got to this state. I have been completely unsettled emotionally and physically since March due to an unanticipated move. I just want to feel grounded. My head is constantly "stuck" in Australia where I used to live, and I can't figure out if this is due to the DP/DR. My mind also wanders to countries I have never been and decides to camp out there for a while, i.e Canada etc - WHAT THE HELL??

Im anxious as I got myself stuck in a rut in this place where I am and reality shocked me, putting me into DP/DR so if reality scared me, how the hell am i going to get back into it??

I dont want to make any other major decisions right now, (I already moved to a bigger city) freaked out and im temporarily back in this small trapped town with my mum. I cant make decisions because im emotionless and feel it would be very easy to make the wrong decision under the influence of this mental state.

I have no friends here - I miss my life in Australia and my friends, and would love to try find that over here and find some like minded people. The people in this stupid town have no clue and look inwards rather than outwards at the world.I dont want to take the easy option, give up and fly back to the comfort of sydney, as weird as that sounds. I just want to know how and if i can get through this here...despite the big reality check I got when i first landed and kinda disliking the way of life etc.

I also got a boyfriend whilst in theDP state, which is bloody hard as i never know how i truly feel being so emotionless. He has been so supportive, i just dont know where i want to be though, where i want to fit in life, but how will i ever know in this dp state as its a world of it own that im stuck in.

Sorry if this sounds weird, but my psychologist is pissing me off as she just keeps suggesting i move back to Sydney.

Thanks guys, ive made some realy nice friends on this thing.

NUMB


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## Muutosjahdissa (Nov 9, 2007)

So what keeps you in your new new hometown then? If you miss your friends etc, isn't that an emotion? And why not follow that emotion? Why stay in the place where you feel stuck and isolated?

Things are not black&white, I know. But this is what your text made me wonder.


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

I miss the fun we had and having a great life over there, but i wanted more and left.., i guess i wanted to see europe etc and find a "home". Youre right i guess they are emotions...so why cant i feel them like i used to? in my tummy...its empty  x


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## Muutosjahdissa (Nov 9, 2007)

We all here know what it is like to live "without emotions". It's good to remind yourself often enough that the emotions have not dissappeared. They are still there, they're just hidden behind the wall.


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

can they come back?


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## Muutosjahdissa (Nov 9, 2007)

Yes. There are many people who have returned to a happy life after a long time of severe depersonalisation. I suggest taking a look at http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/deperson ... ation.html.

As for myself, I feel that I'm slowly getting there. Still paying too much attention to myself though.


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