# Girlfriend Question.



## gimpy34 (Aug 10, 2004)

Well I've met this girl I really like. Fun, attractive, sweet. We both really seem to like each other. And it's probably been four or five years since I've felt like this for anyone, so I know it's something good and I don't want to screw it up.

So, there is the question we all worry about: how much should we say about our condition. I'm not going to tell her about DP because it is too hard for people to understand anyway. But, a couple nights this week I have stayed over at her place and I've always got to take my medication before I go to bed, otherwise I'll have serious trouble sleeping. And I always carry my medication (Klonopin) around under circumstances when I know I might stay out or in case of an emergency panic attack. So, I got busted with a pill bottle the other night and she asked me why I carry my medication around with me so I lied and told her I have to take Ambien from time to time to fall asleep because I don't want to drive her away saying I have an anxiety disorder.

But I don't want to have to lie anymore so I'm going to tell her I have panic disorder and have to carry my medication around with me because I have to take it two or three times a day. I don't think she'll have a problem with it. But I'm going to dance around telling her I have DP/DR as long as I have to.

Well, I think I've answered my own question here but I was just wondering what some of you'll have done in these type of situations so I can be prepared for the worst.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I usually just tell people about the panic disorder and don't go into detail on the dp/dr. Even my close family. They know I have panic disorder and that's enough. Dp/dr is a symptom of it but I don't usually talk about it because they won't understand it and I don;t want to scare them or worry them.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Answer to the girlfriend question - dont get one. 8) Seriously, though, I worked as a pharmacy tech for my first two years of college. The only drugs we handed out more than birth-control was antidepressants. And the majority of the people on them were women. I think the only thing you could scare her away with is an anti-psychotic. DP/DR? Just tell her you have a panic disorder, and it manifests itself with you feeling disoriented. Ease her into the DP/DR using simple language like that. Instead of seeing your anxiety as something negative, she might think that you're a sensitive guy in touch with his emotions, and responsible enough to treat it. Really, girls dig the sensitive ones. And all of my friends know about my problems...DP/DR and porphyria. As long as I act like a rational, kind human being, they're more than willing to sympathise with it and help me out when I need it. It really isnt one of the worst mental disorders to tell people about. Feeling disoreinted, lose depth perception, dizzy, panicky, wonder about the meaning of life.....these are all descriptions that people can identify with and/or imagine pretty easily.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

i LOVE a guy with a less than perfect brain! 

sometimes i love them too much 

keep things very slow and steady, always treat her with respect, and get to really know each other before you get too physical. that will help.


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## gimpy34 (Aug 10, 2004)

Thanks for your responses. I don't plan to tell her about DP/DR. I agree, panic disorder or anxiety is enough. People don't really understand it anyway so it wouldn't make a bit of difference. I am actually more worried about her finding out my depression and fatigue than anything else. I'm pretty good at hiding it depression anyway

Yeah, I'm going have to do something about gimpy's pharmacopia. Old meds I've taken, the supplements and vitamins. Put some of those in a safe hiding place in case I ever need them again.


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## Guest (Apr 23, 2005)

You should be honest with her about exactly what meds you are taking. Just tell her you have an anxiety disorder that is sometimes severe.


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## Guest (Apr 24, 2005)

you can cover up he ambien lie by saying, in a couple weeks, that you switched from ambien to klonopin.


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## dakotajo (Aug 10, 2004)

If you tell her about the fact that you have anxiety/panic issues than youve done everything you can. In this day and age I would hope she would understand. Telling her specific details and symptoms of your anxiety problems is pointless and will only confuse. Would it be an issue to you wether you had to tell her you have racing thoughts, tight muscles, heart palpitations? One blanket explanation of anxiety is honest and sufficient.

Joe


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## Guest (Apr 24, 2005)

I wouldn't tell her anything until after you guys have been seeing eachother for a while and have established a strong relationship. Telling her you have mental issues might scare her away.

imagine someone told another person right from the jump

" hi my name is _____ and I have DP/DR" lol, I can only imagine the response


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## gimpy34 (Aug 10, 2004)

I told her last night that I didn't really take Ambien and just had an anxiety disorder. Didn't bother her at all. She then started talking about her friend who takes Klonopin and I told her I took Klonopin. Went over well. Yea.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

Don't take that last bit of advice from depersonalized.


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## gimpy34 (Aug 10, 2004)

Lay off the South Park depresonalized.


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## Axel19 (Aug 11, 2004)

Take Soul Brotha's advice, don't tell her anything for the moment. In fact make it your task not to never tell her about it. Then when you get to know her better and it seems that she would understand, and there would be a good oppurtunity, then tell her.


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## Guest (Apr 25, 2005)

Its a tricky one, as i guess you want to be honest with her from the start, but you do run the risk of scaring her off if you tell her. Flip a coin and go with that...leave the hard decisions to fate :wink:


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

i started dating someone 3 months ago and i was having some major dp/dr episodes at that time. i was getting panicked quite a bit and sometimes we'd make plans and when it came time to do them (go out to dinner, to a movie, etc...) i'd feel like there was no way i could make myself leave the house. i could tell that he thought it was kinda wierd so i told him the truth about my dp/dr. he took it really well. he obviously didn't understand what i was talking about when it comes to my symptoms, but he was and is really understanding about it. it certainly didn't scare him off. of course, he has had depression problems in the past so i think that gives him a better understanding...


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## shadowness (Sep 12, 2004)

although i feel embarrassed and scared of telling people about dp and dr...i tell them anways if the subject of my panic disorder is brought up...if people back off and think i am nuts then fine...that is just the way some people handle it...but there ARE people who will care and be interested and suportive...you have to give them the chance!

the person i am involved with is the most supportive person i have ever met...just as friends he has always been there for me...and now that we are getting closer...i have told him all about my dp and dr...he has even read the site...and he has not backed off...infact he has become even more supportive and understanding...

i think we should give people the chance to understand dp and dr...it is part of who we are...and if you are going to get involved with someone and they really do care about you...you should think about the fact that they may accept, understand and support you through dp and dr...

but telling someone when you are ready is the key...but that is another prob...you may never feel ready to tell them about dp and dr...

talking to the guy i am involved with has helped me so so much and i think that i have improved slightly knowing that i can just totally be myself and he will understand...i suppose the real test will be when i am around him in person as we have really just started a long distance relationship...but no matter what...i know he cares and supports me...dp and dr and all 

not everyone gets scared off by dp and dr....we all need to remember that....give people a chance to understand you...

hope this helps and take care.


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