# DpDr Recovery paradox The Basic Truth.



## ravenexcore (Oct 31, 2013)

Ok guys, I cured my dpdr two years ago, I was a frequent visitor to this site.
I did all the same things most of you do, desperately search for answeres and a "cure" all the while obsessing over it.

When I recovered I posted a brief explanation as to how and then left this shit behind. Yesterday I ran into someone who was dealing with it and thought back to this site, only to discover that while I was gone, so many of you had messaged me desperately seeking answeres in the last two years, I was then reminded how I felt and how desperate I was, only to be constantly disappointed by both the medical field and no instant cures. So I'm going to post this and I plead that a moderator will keep this post easily available for everyone to be able to see.

This is what I discovered and I call it the recovery paradox. This is a fact, so please heed me if you want to get your life back guys.

DpDr is a form of defense that your brain kicks in to protect itself from to much stress to put it simply. It does this by shutting down certain aspects of your perception and senses, so that it receives less incoming information therefor allowing itself to rest or recover.

The problem with this however is that it is a very scary, confusing and uncomfortable sensation, though all in all harmless it ends up causing people to stress out even more, focusing strictly on how scary it is and how bad it feels.

And that is exactly the problem, by worrying so much about it, obsessing and focusing inward, you are actually causing your mind more stress, so it isn't being givin a chance to rest and continues to try and protect itself.

Now I only explained all that in hopes that the "cure" will make more sense to you because I know that you've most likely heard it in some form before.

You absolutely have to leave it alone, your stuck in a cycle of fear and obsession that is keeping the dpdr going. In the cheesiest form I can even think of, happiness will free you. Ok so having said that there are things you can do to start this process off, now keep in mind that these are suggestions NOT a set of rules you have to obsessively fallow ( That's a paradox, don't do that lol).

Ok first off I'll say one more time for clarification, stop obsessing...sooo.

Step 1.
The beggining of your recovery is to read this post, take it as the truth and never come back to this site. No longer feed your obsession, breath, relax and let go, understand that what your experiencing is not permanent, it's not a dieses nor is something wrong with you. No ifs and or buts.

After that, it's all up to you. Find things that make you happy, that take your attention away from yourself. Hobbies, work, what ever...try and better your quality of life and just focus on that....the whole key to this is not worrying about it, consider it what it is, a temporary situation.

Guys I could say this a thousand ways, with many different suggestions....but at the end of the day, it will go away if just stop thinking about it and move on with your life....no drugs....nor therapy is necessary...hell even this site is a peradox to recovery, because all it does is remind you of your "condition" and allows you to feed the "cure" obsession. Keeping you in a continuous cycle of misery.

As a point of fact, it took me over a month to even realize I had recovered, because what I did was focus on work and my situation in life....I worked my ass off to better my life and before I knew it I had my own place, a new puppy and a brand new car...I was only concerned about things that I could control, I had completely forgotten about dpdr....because it wasnt something I focused on anymore.

I want all of you to be free, but also to understand it like I do, I'm completely immune to it now, because I understand what it is and no longer fear it, so even if I have a massive panic attack and it kicks back in(which has happened twice since I cured myself), I ignore it, go about my day, it plays it course and doesn't stick around like a fleeting moment I hardly even notice, like a few moments at most..it only stays around when you obsess and freak out. Cause it's doing what it's meant to do. Alot of people experience dpdr atleast once and barley notice, but for those of us who had it because of a panic attack or a scary situation make it more than it is because of that relation.
For me it was a tramadol induced panic attack where I thought I had overdosed and was dying, so obviously I flipped out and thought I had caused some sort of brain damage or something...I thought it was a serious problem and was really scared...that it was my fault, but it wasn't and isn't. But until I managed to realize that, I was stuck in the same cycle of fear and obsession using this site as a crutch.

I honestly hope that every last one of you take this to heart, that what iv written is the truth and move on with your life. I promise that you are ok and that normal is just a realization away.


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

Not trying to pile on -- I'm glad you're doing better raven -- but I have to agree with ASM. There is no "cure" to DP, at least not yet. The term "cure" implies you are rid of all the symptoms of your disease as well as the underlying cause. There is nothing even close to a "cure" for DP because as anyone with DP well knows even after you've healed from one episode DP can return in an instant with the use of substances, a rise in stress, a change in environment, etc. Until someone discovers what's actually at the root of the problem and in turn create a device or manufactures a drug to address that problem, there is and will continue to be no cure for DP.

I've read hundreds of these types of posts since discovering this site about four months ago. The "Just Don't Think About It and It Will Go Away" theory continues to baffle me. Perhaps this works for some people who have very minor forms of DP, but for people like me who get it from hard drugs this is not a realistic approach to unscrambling the damaged circuits inside my brain. This is the equivalent of telling someone with a broken leg to simply not think about it and it will heal. Perhaps not thinking about a sprained ankle will aid in your recovery, but if there's one thing I've learned throughout this process it's that you cannot wish away structural damage to the body. Your symptoms do not lie, but your conscious can easily deceive you.

Again, I'm happy this is something that's worked for you and it sounds like it's worked for a fair amount of people on this site, but what this tells me is that there are many differing levels of DP and due to this fact there are many different methods to recover. For people with severe DP no Jedi mind trick will serve as a magic bullet. The problem with my brain is scientific in nature and thus needs a similar level of research and funding in order to figure out what's causing my symptoms. I imagine this is the case for many people on this site as well.


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2016)

The "Just Don't Think About It and It Will Go Away" theory is almost as bad as the "Eat More Vegetables" one. If it helped you, great. But I'm pretty sure my chronic DP won't be cured by carrots.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Wow, the replies here are a good reminder for me to stay off this site, the negativity is ridiculous.

I for one appreciate OP coming back and posting his recovery method, and trying to help others.

Of course there is no single cure since DP is so complex and different in everyone. But it's good to read people's recovery stories and take advice from different methods and apply it until you find your own cure.


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## Optimist (May 29, 2012)

Really, a piece of advice for everyone who's looking for the slightest ray of hope. Do not spend much time reading those negative and hope-destroying comments.

BoSox95:

I bet that you really have not accepted this condition deep down. You have not fully understood what it means to distract yourself. At best, you applied that for a short time before you were discouraged by the next wave of PD feelings or the next mild setback. No body says this method would help you instantly. It is not your magical carrots, I agree. But at least, it works after a while.

Keep believing that if you want, but let others feel better. They deserve a better life.


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

Didn't mean for my comments to sound negative; I apologize if they came off that way.

I guess I'm just of the belief that not thinking about something is no way to truly address or solve a problem, even one as enigmatic as DP. It goes without saying that dwelling on your condition, on your state of life, is not beneficial in terms of coping with this condition -- I think we can all agree on that. I also firmly believe in the power of positive thinking and conversely the damage negativity can have on your perception of the world, as I've seen these manifest in my own life. But I'm also a firm believer in science and think the way to improved health is not through turning your head and brushing your condition under the rug but rather through diligence, deliberation and care.

If you want my opinion it isn't "not thinking about it" that helps to alleviate DP. I think people are getting "not thinking about it" confused with time and the healing process. For example, I know that from my own experience it was simply impossible -- I repeat, impossible -- to ignore my condition for the first 15 months or so because it was there, everywhere I looked, everywhere I turned my head or shifted my eyes. My vision was so incredibly messed up that it was truly impossible to go through life on a daily basis and not think about it because my vision was in large part also my DP. But as my condition slowly improved, along with my vision, so too did my ability to "not think about it" because it simply was not there as much! You can only not think about something that allows you to not think about it. This is why I firmly believe the level of DP varies tremendously on a case to case basis, just like any health concern. Some people have it much worse than others, some people are otherwise on the verge of more normal health. Of course your obsession with your sickness will therefore depend on the level to which you are inflicted.

As my DP symptoms continue to improve my ability to "not think about it" will correspondingly continue to improve and I imagine that a year or so down the line I will be able to go through life without thinking about DP on a daily basis even though I will still have minor symptoms of it which I could likely spot if I truly desired to. But I also believe this will only have been made possible through time (mostly), regeneration (tied closely with time), totally and entirely transforming my diet, exercising properly and doing virtually everything else in my power to improve my condition. After all of those elements have played a role in improving my health, then yes, I would likely agree that "not thinking about it" would also aid in making it through the day. But to suggest that "not thinking about it" is the solution, the answer, the cure to DP -- well, I just have to take issue with that as a solution to a severe illness without any scientific backing whatsoever.

Again, I apologize if I insulted the OP. That was never my intention and as I've already stated several times over, I'm very happy for the OP just as I am for anyone who finds a way out of tis condition. But I do think it's important that as a community we begin working towards the complete banishment of the word "cure" from this board. There is no cure for DP. This is well known. And to suggest otherwise is, as ASM mentions, somewhat frustrating on the side of those who've suffered from this for years or even decades and who've done everything in their power to try and get an upper hand in even dealing with this condition, often to no avail.


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2016)

Optimist said:


> Really, a piece of advice for everyone who's looking for the slightest ray of hope. Do not spend much time reading those negative and hope-destroying comments.
> 
> BoSox95:
> I bet that you really have not accepted this condition deep down. You have not fully understood what it means to distract yourself. At best, you applied that for a short time before you were discouraged by the next wave of PD feelings or the next mild setback. No body says this method would help you instantly. It is not your magical carrots, I agree. But at least, it works after a while.


I've suffered from this horrible condition for 20 years. It consumes me. Believe me, I've accepted this condition.

But I'm interested in how to fully understand what it means to distract serious. I'm not being a wise ass.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> My comments were neither negative nor hope destroying, but realistic. Telling someone that your opinion on how to recover is a fact, often sets people up for false hope & leads to disappointment when it turns out that it doesn't help them personally. That's what the updated forum guidelines posted by Eliott are trying to help us avoid. How many of us have taken the time actually to read them, & appreciate spirit behind them?
> 
> Updated Forum Guidelines: http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/48499-depersonalization-community-forum-guidelines/?p=365207


I wasn't referring to your post, and I think the new rule is a great idea.



BoSox95 said:


> I've suffered from this horrible condition for 20 years. It consumes me. Believe me, I've accepted this condition.
> 
> But I'm interested in how to fully understand what it means to distract serious. I'm not being a wise ass.


I'm truly sorry for what you have been going through. But why post in other people's recovery threads and basically tell them they are wrong? That's as bad as someone claiming a "guaranteed cure". Also a person who has been suffering DP for a short time would read the OP, gain a lot of hope then read your post and all that hope is gone. I know during my first few months of DP I would only browse the Recovery Stories section and the negative replies would make me feel hopeless.


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## Optimist (May 29, 2012)

BoSox95 said:


> I've suffered from this horrible condition for 20 years. It consumes me. Believe me, I've accepted this condition.
> 
> But I'm interested in how to fully understand what it means to distract serious. I'm not being a wise ass.


I am sorry that you had to go through that. I just made a separate thread discussing this and some other issues. Please feel free to go through it.

If you have anything, I would gladly discuss it there.

Good luck.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=164781


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2016)

Phantasm said:


> http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=164781


 i agree with that article haha


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## Guest (Aug 9, 2016)

It's not that I was trying to knock the site, just that the whole tone of the thread, after the OP, brought me down for a number of reasons, and I guess I was just expressing the notion that while I agree that people talking in absolutes about recovery methods has the potential to be detrimental, coming down on people who have taken the time to post recovery threads and describe what they did doesn't seem the way to go either and also has consequences for people looking for help and advice, and might even put people off posting them (I saw the OP reading the first batch of replies, maybe decided it wasn't worth the trouble, and left). That page came up when I was googling for the DPSH address, and coming from an outside source I thought it made the point.

It's a difficult balance to get right, I admit.


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

Phantasm said:


> It's not that I was trying to knock the site, just that the whole tone of the thread, after the OP, brought me down for a number of reasons, and I guess I was just expressing the notion that while I agree that people talking in absolutes about recovery methods has the potential to be detrimental, coming down on people who have taken the time to post recovery threads and describe what they did doesn't seem the way to go either and also has consequences for people looking for help and advice, and might even put people off posting them (I saw the OP reading the first batch of replies, maybe decided it wasn't worth the trouble, and left). That page came up when I was googling for the DPSH address, and coming from an outside source I thought it made the point.
> 
> It's a difficult balance to get right, I admit.


I agree with this entirely. As I stated earlier I never meant to cause the OP to feel like he or she wasn't helping or contributing positively to the board, just that we need to be careful with suggesting something is a "cure." Also, people need to respect the variability in this condition, which I feel like doesn't happen at all here sometimes. There are people on this board with very minor DP and some with very severe DP. It's just important we understand that this disparity can create quite a bit of difficulty in terms of techniques that work for some people and do not at all work for others. I just wanted this to be more widely accepted, that's all. I again apologize if I came off too rough. Perhaps it's time to take a break from the forum for a while...


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## Optimist (May 29, 2012)

I like this post. I do admit that I felt very close to leaving the site when I saw people going rough on me for giving my view on the matter. However, I would like to comment on the severity point you brought up. It seems to me that almost everyone thinks that their version of DP is the most severe type. That's what I felt too. That's what I see most posters say, and that's what most recovery stories tell you as well. Personally, I do not believe the severity level of DP should affect how we tackle it. In my opinion, more severe cases would only take longer to improve, that's all.


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## Guest (Aug 9, 2016)

Billy, I honestly wasn't thinking of or referring to anyone in particular, and I don't want you or anyone else to feel bad or stay away  I think you're a good guy and have shown a lot of knowledge in your posts.

ASM, It is a difficult balance, as sometimes things go a little too far in one direction then swing back a bit too far in the other, and both can have negative effects on individuals. it's likely it will never be perfect, but I didn't feel the balance was right here, and wanted to post something to address that and be considered. I think that's all I am really asking, just to think about it.

I do understand why the policy is in place, but felt priorities weren't quite right. I completely agree that the way a person expresses a thing is very important and that goes both ways. For instance, In your last post you placed the term "acceptance" in inverted commas, and used phrases like "pet ideas," "whatever other notion," "absolute ignorance," "false hope," etc, and it's this general tone I was referring to that may be damaging. Essentially I agree with the points you are making, but yes, more often than not it ain't what we say but the way that we say it. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say and I'll leave it at that


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## Optimist (May 29, 2012)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> I think that the new forum guidelines achieves that balance very well. It encourages people to report their recovery story, but gently cautions them against being absolute about their pet ideas & opinions in the process, lest it should lead to disappointment for others.
> 
> For instance; if someone has DP/DR because of Lymes Disease, then no amount of "acceptance" of whatever other notion that people have is going to work for that individual. If they then take this advice onboard & believe it's the only solution, it will give them a false hope which will ultimately lead to disappoinment. That's something we want to avoid, but we still want everybody to try everything possible, including "acceptance", until they find a solution that works for them.
> 
> There's a fundamental difference between saying; "Hey such & such a thing worked for me & I'm recovered, it might work for you too so why not give it a try" & saying with absolute ignorance; "Hey such & such a thing worked for me & I'm recovered. It will work for you I promise, it's a fact & the only way to recover." All we are doing here is encouraging the former, while discouraging the latter.


Well, I get what you are trying to say. It seems in my humble opinion that we are looking at the empy side of the cup that way. I mean, let's look at this sequence of events:

1) Person 'A' recovers after years of suffering. He is coming back full of energy and excited to share hope.

2) He writes his story. Let's say he was very assertive in the way he views DP and the whole condtion. That includes " I am sure this will work for you" kinda statements.

3) hundreds of members and guests read the post. Most are happy that someone else has recovered, which always means more hope for them. Let's say some are convinced by what they read, while others thought that cannot be the case for everyone.

4) Those who were convinced would finish reading the story feeling all motivated and hopeful. They believe at that time this is beatable. It's all good.

5) they scroll down to find some members bashing on the OP. Things like you are wrong, you can't say that it's simply just about acceptance. It didn't work for me. You must have suffered something different. Of course, i have seen some folks use worse terms that leave worse marks.

6) Those guys who were motivated and hopeful have suddenly lost hope only by reading that. If you are in DP state then you are more vulnerable to negativity by nature. Plus, the OP who came to share hope leaves due to that welcoming reception.

My question is: was it really worth it? wasn't that slight hope they had was so wonderful yet you crushed it so that they wouldn't feel "disappointed' later? I mean, isn't believing in something that motivates you to do something (even if fake) better than not doing anything at all?

Which is better: Hoping for nothing so you wouldn't feel slightly disappointed(even though DP feels bad already) or hoping for something big that may or may not work? If it worked, then GREAT, and if it didn't work, then nothing really happens.

What about psychiatrists who prescribe SSRI and tell you this will help you, but it really does not. Why is it okay for them to say that but not okay for the others?

You cannot believe how recovery stories back in 2012/2013 helped me beat this. They were more useful and convincing than my psychiatrist ever would. They were the ones that showed me the way. Even though I would face challenges going through the negative comments that could halt my progress.

-----

For those who have DP due to some other medical condition, then of course acceptance or such methods wouldn't work. But honestly, I don't recall a single member who's here because of Lymes diseasse. All I have seen are here after they got a panic attack, smoked pot, or got extremely stressed. They can relate to recovery stories pretty well.


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## Optimist (May 29, 2012)

Alright then, I get what you are saying, and I will change the way I write to comply with the forum's guidelines. Would you please point out an example of a pet idea that I wrote and was presented as an absolute term. I would really appreciate it.

Thanks.


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## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

Your forum avatar explains exactly why people don't recover ☺


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