# My 3 month experience with depersonalization



## Ryan432 (Jun 23, 2011)

My first experience with DP happened in March of 2010. I had just gotten back from a very fun and relaxing spring break in Los Angeles California. I had always been a spiritual person but around this time I began exploring deeper into metaphysics and consciousness. I was reading a book on the possibility of reincarnation on my flight home. Nothing out of the ordinary happened on the trip. My first day home was completely normal but when i woke up on the second day everything was different. 
I felt like I was in a dream. I had this sense of "all knowing", as if i understood the universe and how it worked. I became very neutral to my surroundings. Nothing irritated me, however nothing made me overly happy either. Time appeared to slow down and everything had a glow and fuzziness abut it. I felt sensitive around crowds of people. It wasn't horrible, I just didnt prefer to be around them. Often i felt strong emotions of ecstasy. Like the feeling of love, except I wasnt just feeling it, i become the emotion. Never during my DP experiences did i feel anything negative; only feelings of frustration because i'd like to return to my normal state of being. At this point I should make clear that i do not use any mind altering drugs and drink alcohol only casually. 
The entire 3 months of my experience I had never heard of DP. I only came across it recently and decided to share my story. Because I had been reading so heavily into spirituality i embraced my DP experience as some form of enlightenment. I was reading every book i could get my hands on that discussed meditation, eastern thought, etc... My passions and hobbies started to change. The things that used to make me very happy held little interest to me anymore. I was an avid cook and the desire to be in the kitchen completely ended. I actually became a vegan and eventually a raw foods vegan. I had this unusual clarity about what i needed to consume that would be best for my health. While I was in DP everything seemed so obvious. 
During my spring break trip i had my first and only acupuncture session. It seemed rather uneventful but I am open minded and enjoyed the experience. Since I wasnt dealing with any physical ailments the acupuncturist just did a "clearing of blockages" during my appointment. Since my DP experience triggered 4 days after this session I thought they might be related. I went as far as calling the acupuncturist on the phone, explaining to him how i was feeling, and asking if he felt there was a relation. He said it was possible but that he had never come across it before. His hypothesis was that I just was on a high from a fun vacation or that the "energies" in LA had some kind of effect on my body. I knew that what I was feeling was very different and much more intense than just a "fun vacation high".
I started to have all these realizations about life and how things worked. I am a straight A student, however I dropped out of college that semester. I always loved school but all of a sudden i didnt understand our education system. It had so many flaws. Standardized testing didnt prove anything except for how well a student could memorize and regurgitate. I still agree with those opinions but after my DP experience ended I returned to school with much more comfortability.
I'm sure my friends thought i was going insane. At moments i thought i might be going insane. I was very open about what was happening to me on the inside but no one could relate or had any idea what it might be. I found a Darwin quote that really helped me during the experience.... "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change." I reminded myself of this over and over. 
I cant recall the exact day when my DP experience ended but it lasted approximately 3 months and it faded gradually. I still have no explanation as to how it occurred and i still have DP moments that last for an hour or two but nothing as intense as that first experience. I hope that this brings comfort to someone reading and that they dont have to fear DP.


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## abc1i7849 (Jun 17, 2011)

Thanks for posting your story. It does bring some relief


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## nikkistyx89 (Jun 26, 2011)

abc1i7849 said:


> Thanks for posting your story. It does bring some relief


thats a relief maybe i will embrace my dp too its greta yours only lasted 3 months im 2 1/2 months into mine it would be great if mine would be gone in two weeks well thank you again your an insperation


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## brighter_dreamer (Sep 3, 2010)

Your soo lucky you only had it for 3 months! How did it go away??


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## Ryan432 (Jun 23, 2011)

EssSimone said:


> Your soo lucky you only had it for 3 months! How did it go away??


I wish i had an answer but it just went away on its own. I tried to just live day to day how i normally would but it was strange because even my decision making process seemed to change. It was like playing a character in a movie. I just did what i knew "the old me" would do. 
BUT..... it did go away. It was gradual. Little by little over a couple weeks i started feeling more and more like my old self.


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## brighter_dreamer (Sep 3, 2010)

Ryan432 said:


> I wish i had an answer but it just went away on its own. I tried to just live day to day how i normally would but it was strange because even my decision making process seemed to change. It was like playing a character in a movie. I just did what i knew "the old me" would do.
> BUT..... it did go away. It was gradual. Little by little over a couple weeks i started feeling more and more like my old self.


That's awesome though, i'm glad your better!
I guess for some people It just doesn't work that way.
I've had mine for 6 yearss ahhggg lol, 
but I still have hope


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