# Hi :)



## Guest (Nov 29, 2005)

Hi everyone.

I just wanted to say, what a great find this was for me... i thought i was losing control of my mind and who i was.

For the first time, i think i've found what i have.

Im a senior in high school and have had what i think is Depersonalization for about 2 years now. from what ive read, im guessing it came from my usage of painkillers during our football seasons. I know it was stupid, but i had no idea it would cost me something i took advantage of. I often feel as though im not me, but someone else looking through my eyes, like Being John Malcovich, or a First person shooter. as i look at my hands as i type this, i see them move, but cant make the connection that they are in fact my hands. in that sense.

its still really bad, and ive been getting desperate to try to get help. i know i cant go to my parents, they wouldn't understand. They are the types that as long as you have a roof under your head and food to eat, you should be appreciative and happy all the time. Now, im not saying i dont appreciate them or anything, but, i'd rather avoid that nutshell with them.

sometime last year, i hit bottom. I got tired of feeling the way i felt, and i thought about ending my life. but, it was weird. I didnt really think of it as "life" but kinda like a fun activity that after a while gets boring, and you want to move on, see whats next. I thought about it more and realized that because of my love for my parents and sister,and their love for me, i couldnt do that. make them go through that.

So after feeling it coming on again, i knew i had to find help. So i come to this community with great hope that i can change whatever it is that i have, and get better. All i know is somethings gotta change, and im willing to do whatever it is. so i guess what im saying is, i need help.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

.


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2005)

Thank you  wil do


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