# Drug-induced DP/DR



## Morgulon (Jan 21, 2008)

Hello! I'm a 17 year-old in Washington, and I just this morning self-diagnosed myself with DPS. Let me tell you my story.

I've been a heavy drug user for about a year and a half. I've done LSD, mushrooms, ecstasy, lots of DXM (cough syrup), lots of opiates, amongst other things. I've been smoking pot daily for about a year and a half. During this time period, I noticed a steadily increasing feeling of living in a dream and not feeling like myself, but never put a name to it or thought anything of it. I always just thought I was somewhat permafried.

For the last 5-6 months, smoking pot has become a painful and upsetting experience quite frequently, particularly early in the day. After I become sufficiently stoned, I start to have a panic attack, almost every time. My pulse starts racing and I start hyperventilating and feel as if I am dying/can't breathe/etc. I ask my friends strange questions about my breathing, use my asthmatic friend's breath tester to reaffirm myself, etc. but nothing seems to work. I usually end up walking out as my face and body go numb and finding a bag to breathe in and out of to try and calm myself. I almost flipped completely and went to the hospital several times, but always managed to calm my down just enough.

Well, one night I got really drunk and extremely high, and it turned into a completely bad experience. Perhaps some of you are familiar with 'waterfalls', a particularly powerful and painful method of smoking pot. Well, I had smoked quite a bit, and then did one of those, and it felt as if my lungs were on fire. I started to freak out, although everyone thought I was really fucked up. I just walked all around my friend's house, unable to be comfortable or relax or not feel like I was going to die. I laid outside in the freezing cold in my underwear, left and walked down the street, walked up and down the hallway, and other strange behavior.

The next day I felt fine again, but I felt a definitively strong feeling of detachment from self. Since then my DP/DR experience has been particularly bad. About a month and a half ago I figured that I should quit doing drugs, and did. I've been having frequent panic attacks, agoraphobia, and other mental problems since then. I haven't really smoked any pot, although I've been doing some opiates and drinking (two experiences I completely enjoy - they keep me relaxed and worry free, and are the only times when I feel completely like myself).

When I have panic attacks now, I feel like I am going completely crazy. I feel completely detached from myself, and frequently fear death or other severe medical conditions. I get horrible visual effects that further panic me, such as an inability to perceive distance or size. Laying in my bed at night, I often cannot tell how far across my room is; it could easily be miles it seems. My limbs seem detached from my body and not a part of me; I watch from a third perspective as my body pitifully looks around and tries to understand what is going on around it. Most people have to eat fungi or drop acid to feel this way. There was a time in my life I would've enjoyed it; now I have learned to hate it.

I have been wondering for quite some time what is wrong with me, and why this keeps happening. This morning, after getting my sister ready for school, I was stumbling about wikipedia and discovered an article on DPS. Joy! I finally felt that there could be a valid reason why I would be feeling this way, and I have been feeling much better all day. Hopefully, with communication, personal insight, and reading about what to do, I can eradicate my self-diagnosed DPS without any medical help. However, I think it would be in my best interest that, if it isn't almost completely gone within a couple of weeks, to seek professional help.

Anyways, that is my extremely long story. Thanks for reading 8)


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## Morgulon (Jan 21, 2008)

Have a couple questions to ask...

Will it ever be safe/advisable to smoke pot again? I don't intend to, but I see it as a possibility and want to know if you guys would advise it.

I haven't been leaving my house for quite some time and have been very agoraphobic, and I have a dentist's appointment in a week... thinking about it makes me super anxious and worried. I have always hated the dentist and with the onset of severe dp/dr/anxiety, I am very, very worried about having a panic attack there, or even on the way there. Any advice on calming myself for this?


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## Guest (Jan 23, 2008)

Morgulon said:


> Have a couple questions to ask...
> 
> Will it ever be safe/advisable to smoke pot again?


Ask your GP the same question... :roll:


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## Guest (Jan 23, 2008)

^^^^^^^^^^^^

http://davidcrossnooooooo.ytmnd.com

Press F5 =)


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## Morgulon (Jan 21, 2008)

Yeah, I thought so. I never wanna go back to that anyway; the lifestyle in retrospect is completely unappealing, and the risk of badly DP/DRing again is not at all worth it.

I made a huge breakthrough last night though. After feeling little to no emotion all day, late at night I finally got completely sick of it. I listened to all the songs that make me sad, and thought of things that would normally make me sad. After about 15 minutes, I finally broke down and cried! Woo! It felt great =) I have felt like an actual person since then... it's wonderful! Reminds me of why I used to love life so much.


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