# What is it like when DR goes away?



## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

I've had DR nonstop 24/7 for 24 years and I'm wondering what happens when it goes away. Does it just *poof* disappear or is it a gradual process.


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

my experience with dr is that it's either there or it isn't (although intensity can vary ie. stronger colours, more plastic looking), whereas dp lessens gradually


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

thanks pdr. anyone else?


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## berlin (Aug 19, 2004)

I wonder that too. Will it lift and shed like layers of old skin or will I awaken and feel fresh, filled out and integrated? I think the first one, cause although it appears as if the onset of this experience happened within a very short time; in hindsight(as the fog eases a little) I recognise how I eased into my present condition. I email a lady who has described a sudden 'recovery' which lasted for only half an hour in all her years of DP. But thats all it lasted.


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2004)

> I wonder that too. Will it lift and shed like layers of old skin or will I awaken and feel fresh, filled out and integrated?


Maybe both can take place? Not at the same time, but in a process?


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2004)

For me, DR lifted instantly, but wouldn't last long at first. A sudden glimpse of total clarity that might endure a minute or an hour or a day.

The DP, however, and that was my worst of the two...lifted slowly. Then after several slow peels of the onion, it kind of "whoooshed" away like a silk scarf in the wind.

It felt like waking up from a dream....as if "oh. RIGHT. Oh, now I see..." and realzing full-tilt that the "events" from seconds ago were pure illusion.

IMPOSSIBLE to describe, lol..but sounds kind of poetic?

Peace,
J


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2004)

It was a very slow process for me. After my therapy sessions I found myself feeling slightly better. I improved who I was as a person and I would have a few minutes, then hours, and then finally a full day without any DR or DP. Eventually I stopped keeping track of when I didn't have it and it was gone. I still that that if I would have lost hope after few hours or minutes without DP that I would still have it. You need to keep hopeful. It's not just going to disappear one second and never come back again. It's a process. When I first started having DR and DP free minutes and hours I got very excited because I thought it was gone for good. Well of course it wasn't and this discouraged me very much at first. I asked my therapist about this and she said "Kari, you didn't get into this mess in one second, it's not going to go away in one second, this is a gradual thing that has resulted due to years of emotional stress and personality behaviors." Very true. Usually DR and DP, even when 'drug induced' is a result of personality behavior and emotional stress that goes back to a very long time ago. Drugs just bring it out completely. You really need to improve yourself in ANY OTHER DEPARTMENT besides the DP/DR. And you need to trust yourself. I know that it feels like if you stopped thinking about DR/DP 100% it would still just "be there", it wont be. You need to let go of it. Trust yourself and let go. Because you'll find that once you control your obsessive thoughts and your fears that you'll be free of this disorder completely. People think that by focusing on the DR and DP you will be able to control it and eventually get rid of it, not so. That's what feeds it. Janine talks about this all of the time.


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

I find it quite difficult to distinguish my DR and DP. To me they go hand in hand. However, the DP I feel doesn't matter to me at all, whereas the DR visual symptoms are annoying. I feel like if I didn't have DR I woudn't have DP at all.

thanks kari. you've said some very inspiring things there. you too, Janine. lots of thanks as always.


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2004)

JAG,

For me DR was much worse than DP as well. And DR went away slowly over about a 6 week period. When DR was gone, so was DP.


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## kenc127 (Aug 10, 2004)

One day you look back and think, "Wow, what was that all about." It goes out very quietly.


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## laquw (Aug 26, 2004)

for me Derealization was stronger than DP. However I noticed i still had DP. They both went away like *poof* . I remember the night and I will never forget it,, I felt so calm that day and I took advantage of it and started socializing with a friend of mine. As I was walking down the street I looked at a car and boom it hit me.. it just left as if a sudden gust of wind just took it away, i finally could feel objects and that car . There was no bubble i actually felt its presence and the people around me how I became part of that world again.


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## Guest (Nov 15, 2004)

i need this to happen for me more than anything


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## Living in a fog (Aug 12, 2004)

I know that the 2 previous times I had DR it slowly but surely went away. The first time over 2-3 months(total duration app 9 months) the second time over 2-3 weeks.(total duration 3 months). I can say one other thing they both came on immediately, matter a fact there was a "pop" in my head like something broke and than this weird vision thing. I swore up and down it was some type of tumor. I was never told it was DR but was told it was depression. Everyone dismissed my comments that i felt like I was looking thru a mist or a fog. This time I know what it is so maybe thats why it is hanging around for such an extended period of time. Everyone's experience will be different some will just go away gradually and others will go away immediately.


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## Guest (Nov 15, 2004)

laquw said:


> for me Derealization was stronger than DP. However I noticed i still had DP. They both went away like *poof* . I remember the night and I will never forget it,, I felt so calm that day and I took advantage of it and started socializing with a friend of mine. As I was walking down the street I looked at a car and boom it hit me.. it just left as if a sudden gust of wind just took it away, i finally could feel objects and that car . There was no bubble i actually felt its presence and the people around me how I became part of that world again.


For some reason i don't believe you. Sorry!


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

laquw said:


> for me Derealization was stronger than DP. However I noticed i still had DP. They both went away like *poof* . I remember the night and I will never forget it,, I felt so calm that day and I took advantage of it and started socializing with a friend of mine. As I was walking down the street I looked at a car and boom it hit me.. it just left as if a sudden gust of wind just took it away, i finally could feel objects and that car . There was no bubble i actually felt its presence and the people around me how I became part of that world again.


WOW!  very encouraging


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

Living in a fog said:


> I know that the 2 previous times I had DR it slowly but surely went away. The first time over 2-3 months(total duration app 9 months) the second time over 2-3 weeks.(total duration 3 months). I can say one other thing they both came on immediately, matter a fact there was a "pop" in my head like something broke and than this weird vision thing. I swore up and down it was some type of tumor. I was never told it was DR but was told it was depression. Everyone dismissed my comments that i felt like I was looking thru a mist or a fog. This time I know what it is so maybe thats why it is hanging around for such an extended period of time. Everyone's experience will be different some will just go away gradually and others will go away immediately.


Yeah, same here. I remember the first time I got it I went to bed obviously scared. I woke up the next morning and things seemed a bit strange. I panicked all day and I think by mid day a sort of "switch" clicked on and it was welcome to movieland.


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## Nate (Nov 3, 2004)

This is a great thread. Love to hear everyone's responses to this.

DR came on suddenly for me, I'll never forget it. It was six years ago May. I was riding back to NYC on a train. I started to notice something "off" with my vision. When I got home I had a panic attack. Then I really thought something was whacked with me, like a brain tumor or something. Over the years, DR has cleared only once for me, for about a day and a half about two years ago. It was the weekend before Xmas. I was shopping, in a store with fluorescent lights, tons of people, tons of product, and I was totally, totally clear - no shimmering, no glassy overactivity whatever - it lasted into the night and the next day and then the clarity was gone. The DR came back and it still persists. Last week, though, was my clearest time since then. I decided to cut alcohol completely out of my life two weeks ago (I drank moderately, but regularly). After about 7 days I felt amazingly clear - not cured, but halfway there. The last few days, though, the clarity seems to have left me.

-Nate


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## laquw (Aug 26, 2004)

why would I waste my time posting something that didnt happen? this topic is about how it feels when dr/dp goes away and I explained my situation. for those smartasses, what do you know?? Have you experienced it going away? If not then you shouldn't make a stupid assumption like that.


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## Guest (Nov 16, 2004)

Jag wrote

"Yeah, same here. I remember the first time I got it I went to bed obviously scared. I woke up the next morning and things seemed a bit strange. I panicked all day and I think by mid day a sort of "switch" clicked on and it was welcome to movieland."

In eighth Grade, I got a panic attack and DP and drifted off to troubled sleep eventually. Awoke next day and started talking to my mom about how weird it was, the fear re-surfaced and so did the DP/DR, this time permanently (I'm 31 with no moments of clarity since". I've probably posted this a thousand times but I correlate DP/DR to a faulty ffight or flight mechanism where the brain is putting you into that DP/DR state as a protective cocoon. A Cocoon from hell. Since Post Traumatic Stress Disorder people often experience DP/DR, I postulate that trauma, be it emotional (panic attack), or external (Abuse of car accident for example) causes this faulty mis-wired protective cocoon. The brain has a difficult time breaking the feedback loop once its been strengthened once or twice by trauma. Therefore, how do you break that feedback loop besides experimenting with drugs? I reckon that if you empower yourself not to be afraid of panic attacks or anxiety or whatever you feel brought you to this horrid place, this is an important step towards allowing the real you to step out and break that cocoon and challenge DP/DR. I'm interested to find out what others think of my theory.

I realize I've posted this theory before but I'm curious to know what y'all think.

Thanks!!!


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

you can help kill the loop by experimenting with your life. Try new things. Take a class on something you've always wanted to take but have been scared to (like acting, singing, etc...especially things that involve public performance or people or something daring...those help IMO)

Pick one of your habits...say, for example, you have to look impeccable before you go out. Wear the clothes you wore yesterday for a change (or if you want to...SLEEP in the clothes and if they don't look too bad, wear em out again...sounds silly but you need to do silly things sometimes. to teach yourself that you don't have to be so serious and in a rut.) lose a little control. kinda like a chinese finger trap. the more you try to control yourself and your life and control DP and control yourself from going crazy, the more you get stuck in it. When you loosen up, the finger trap loosens up. The chinese seem to be good at pointing out wisdom like that, even in a toy 

DONT worry about not being afraid of panic attacks or whatnot. You're trying too much to "control" your recovery. eventually you won't be afraid of panic attacks, and it's OKAY to have anxiety. It's an emotion like everything else. We're supposed to have some anxiety. dP has been described as the inability to handle anxiety..your mind protects itself. so if you're anxious, let yourself be and accept it if you can (that is an extreme step for some, maybe later down the road for you if you're not ready? do other things...go to therapy, talk to someone, take meds if you need to, if you need help getting less anxious).

You're trapped in the illusion of being the person you feel you are supposed to be. DP/DR is telling you that it's so much worse than that. Epic horrors versus reality. What DP/DR is, is the lens through which your limited sense of self sees. Of course the world looks weird b/c you're only choosing to see it with part of yourself. Be your WHOLE self. Accept the good and the bad (easier said than done) about yourself. BUT, whilst in the process of learning this, have fun. You're not going to make DP go away- or get a date- by staying home wathching televsion. Speaking of television...think of DP AS television. Change the friggin' channel! Distract yourself. Go out, no matter how afraid you are (you will be rewarded with less fear in the end, so do it at least for the sake of that. Do what you fear most. When you change the channel from VH1 to ESPN, you no longer know what's on VH1 and it is not important. When you change the channel from DP to real life distractions, those become more important.

Read the "reality is what you feel" thread in "Regaining Reality". It's a thread that really helped me "break loose" in ways.

It's not recover that is important, it's the IMPORTANCE you place on DP/DR. You're never gonna figure it out. Stop watching yourself. Don't even look in a mirror, if that is something that makes you think too much of yourself. Just leave yourself wherever it may be and go out and do stuff.

Hopefully that helps...


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

laquw said:


> why would I waste my time posting something that didnt happen? this topic is about how it feels when dr/dp goes away and I explained my situation. for those smartasses, what do you know?? Have you experienced it going away? If not then you shouldn't make a stupid assumption like that.


Anyone who says something like that is just trying to get reaction. Ignore them.


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## vian (Nov 16, 2004)

My DR just went away recently, rather suddenly too. I just woke up one day and it was gone. It was as if I could see everything for the first time. I was hypersensitive to light, color, and sound. For once everything felt real and I was aware of everything around me. 
After the first few days, it settled into a sort of mildness and wonder at being able to interact with the world. I still have slips where the feeling comes back when I'm tired, or in crowded/noisy places like malls or in the city, but it doesn't have the same persistance. By the end of the day I'm usually fairly aware but it's hard adjusting when you're used to everything being a dream.


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## DM (Aug 12, 2004)

Of course I totally agree with Person3!

She has said it better (with her poetic heart) than I have ever could. Thanks M.!

Once you smell, suddenly, spring, hear birds etc. and you feel fine...than you will realise all the things you have missed; it's sudden.

Once you let get of all the restrictions your rational brain is imposing on you you'll see the world clear. You'll perceive the world with your senses and not with your brain.

And then...

the 'poof' feeling!

There has been a research and they concluded it has everything to do with controlling nervous responses to certain parts of your brain. F.e. if you do not want to feel anxiety some of us :lol: are able to stop activation of some parts of our brains - we are able to control the neural system! Once you find the trigger - 'poof'.


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## Nate (Nov 3, 2004)

Just an observation, but it does seem a bit strange that so many people who have emerged from their DP/DR are still accessing and posting on this board.

I'm not sure that if I was free of my DR that I would frequent the board. I would be concernced that it might trigger the old feelings, fears, anxieties...

Nate


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Well, I must say that my first episode with Dr lasted about one year and then...driving the car to a friends house...I remember the exact place in the road...the exact time...Poof! The damn veil lifted and I was me and I saw things like I had always seen them and it stayed that way for 5 or 6 years.

The *Poof* thing can definitely happen.

Unfortunately, the DR thing can also return. 

I feel pretty well a lot of the time. I come back to this Board because when I first found it , it was a saving grace. I enjoy many of the people on this Board. I still learn things to help me get thru the bad times. And every now and then...I hope that something I may pass along may be what one person needs to read that day.

Pay It Forward.


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