# SERIOUS memory problems



## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

Not only do I have no sense of self, but I cant remember ANYTHING. I just remember facts about myself, and even those seem like they're getting harder to remember. I know what school I went to and stuff like that but no memories. I cant even remember what I did today. Im not kidding, no memories. I used to be able to lay in bed for hours and just think about my whole life and replay events in my head. But now I have literally nothing. Im only 18. Why is this happening to me? Is this permanent? I cant visualize anything in my head either, could this also be contributing to my memory problems. Is this some extreme form of dissociation? Or some kind of amnesia?


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## andcrew (Dec 8, 2016)

I am the same and its crap but I want to ask you something and think about it good before you answer me. About visualization would you say that you can't see absolutely nothing with your minds eye or that you can probably see something but it is very hard to do and the image has 5% of the vividness that you would normally get without DP. In my case i thought that I can't see anything as well but that is not 100% true and this is why I believe when we recover we will get the normal ability again. With me when i try to visualise I see something but it is very dark, different, distant and can barely see it and hold it for more than a few seconds. I will say it is about 5% of what i used to able to visualise and trust me I loved to visualise in my head and look forward to getting back this ability


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

The memories can and will come back. The brain is fluid, it can be impaired, but can also quite easily repair itself. You will bounce back one day Heather. All you have to do is make it through in the meantime. When this first started happening to me I was terrified, figuring I was on a downhill spiral that couldn't be reversed. But I know better now. You're just foggy, and the fog can be really bad and last quite some time. But it's just a symptom of a mental issue rather than an actual problem with your brain. You don't have dementia or anything that can't be turned around with time. But the worst thing you can do is stress about it and/or test your own memory.


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## Ianar (Oct 31, 2015)

andcrew said:


> I am the same and its crap but I want to ask you something and think about it good before you answer me. About visualization would you say that you can't see absolutely nothing with your minds eye or that you can probably see something but it is very hard to do and the image has 5% of the vividness that you would normally get without DP. In my case i thought that I can't see anything as well but that is not 100% true and this is why I believe when we recover we will get the normal ability again. With me when i try to visualise I see something but it is very dark, different, distant and can barely see it and hold it for more than a few seconds. I will say it is about 5% of what i used to able to visualise and trust me I loved to visualise in my head and look forward to getting back this ability


This is the same as I have it, exactly. I do have to have my eyes shut though and concentrate to form distant/grainy images, & can't hold them, where as before I could daydream vivid scenarios & get the accompanying feelings to go with them; I also used to really enjoy this. If I attempt to do that now I just stare in to space not thinking of feeling. If I stare in to the night sky it's like I don't exist.


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## bintuae (Jan 17, 2017)

Do you know what caused it?


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

damn lanar me too.


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## RedSky (Jan 11, 2017)

I also suffer from memory problems but it is mostly my short term memory... when I first got DP it was worse than it is now, sometimes I couldn't remember if a memory I had really happened or if I was remembering a dream. It is scary stuff but hang in there! try taking some vitamins I take a magnesium pill everyday with B-6 and B-12 they seem to help me keep a clear head.


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## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

Chicane said:


> The memories can and will come back. The brain is fluid, it can be impaired, but can also quite easily repair itself. You will bounce back one day Heather. All you have to do is make it through in the meantime. When this first started happening to me I was terrified, figuring I was on a downhill spiral that couldn't be reversed. But I know better now. You're just foggy, and the fog can be really bad and last quite some time. But it's just a symptom of a mental issue rather than an actual problem with your brain. You don't have dementia or anything that can't be turned around with time. But the worst thing you can do is stress about it and/or test your own memory.


I feel so weird , idk how to even describe it. It feels like I dont have a past or future, even right now I feel like I dont exist. I dont remember what it feels like  my memory loss/ problems are normal for this? I have some hope everyday that I will come back from this but its hard when I dont even know what its supposed to feel like. Thank you for always commenting on my posts btw. I know Ive been posting like everyday lol. I just feel like I lose myself more and more everyday and its scary


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## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

Ianar said:


> This is the same as I have it, exactly. I do have to have my eyes shut though and concentrate to form distant/grainy images, & can't hold them, where as before I could daydream vivid scenarios & get the accompanying feelings to go with them; I also used to really enjoy this. If I attempt to do that now I just stare in to space not thinking of feeling. If I stare in to the night sky it's like I don't exist.


Im pretty much the same too


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## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

andcrew said:


> I am the same and its crap but I want to ask you something and think about it good before you answer me. About visualization would you say that you can't see absolutely nothing with your minds eye or that you can probably see something but it is very hard to do and the image has 5% of the vividness that you would normally get without DP. In my case i thought that I can't see anything as well but that is not 100% true and this is why I believe when we recover we will get the normal ability again. With me when i try to visualise I see something but it is very dark, different, distant and can barely see it and hold it for more than a few seconds. I will say it is about 5% of what i used to able to visualise and trust me I loved to visualise in my head and look forward to getting back this ability


Thats exactlt how I am. So weird to describe


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## derrrr (Dec 7, 2016)

Ianar said:


> This is the same as I have it, exactly. I do have to have my eyes shut though and concentrate to form distant/grainy images, & can't hold them, where as before I could daydream vivid scenarios & get the accompanying feelings to go with them; I also used to really enjoy this. If I attempt to do that now I just stare in to space not thinking of feeling. If I stare in to the night sky it's like I don't exist.


I have this too. I can't hold on to my thoughts when I try to visualize, I can't daydream much, etc. When I can visualize, it's incredibly dull imagery.

Have you experienced any profound anxiety for long periods of time prior to this? I have. My theory is that the anxiety has become habitual and overwhelming and has stolen my focus, and I think once I can get the anxiety under control, this stuff will come back again in due time.


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## Psychostein (Nov 3, 2016)

I had the same problem when I was struggling, i would advise you to eat the things I have stated below which may help you with your memory problems:

- Eat all vegetables: You're not likely to forget this message. Getting adequate vegetables, especially cruciferous ones including broccoli, cabbage and dark leafy greens, can help improve memory.

- Berries and cherries: especially dark ones such as blackberries, blueberries and cherries - are a rich source of anthocyanins and other flavonoids that will help boost your memory function.

- Adequate omega-3 fatty acids: it is essential for good brain health, omega-3 fatty acids, docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) in particular, can help improve memory.

- Walnuts: Well known for a positive impact on heart health, walnuts also can improve memory problems.

Best of luck,
Psychostein.


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## optimist100 (Aug 24, 2018)

andcrew said:


> I am the same and its crap but I want to ask you something and think about it good before you answer me. About visualization would you say that you can't see absolutely nothing with your minds eye or that you can probably see something but it is very hard to do and the image has 5% of the vividness that you would normally get without DP. In my case i thought that I can't see anything as well but that is not 100% true and this is why I believe when we recover we will get the normal ability again. With me when i try to visualise I see something but it is very dark, different, distant and can barely see it and hold it for more than a few seconds. I will say it is about 5% of what i used to able to visualise and trust me I loved to visualise in my head and look forward to getting back this ability





Heather414 said:


> Not only do I have no sense of self, but I cant remember ANYTHING. I just remember facts about myself, and even those seem like they're getting harder to remember. I know what school I went to and stuff like that but no memories. I cant even remember what I did today. Im not kidding, no memories. I used to be able to lay in bed for hours and just think about my whole life and replay events in my head. But now I have literally nothing. Im only 18. Why is this happening to me? Is this permanent? I cant visualize anything in my head either, could this also be contributing to my memory problems. Is this some extreme form of dissociation? Or some kind of amnesia?





Heather414 said:


> I feel so weird , idk how to even describe it. It feels like I dont have a past or future, even right now I feel like I dont exist. I dont remember what it feels like
> 
> 
> 
> ...


everything you guys described here I have it too I'm 20 yo and I thought I was going mad, none of the doctors belived me or knew how to help It feels amazing to know that I'm not alone, did anyone else get a hostile or unpleasant reaction from people when you told them what you where going through?


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

optimist100 said:


> everything you guys described here I have it too I'm 20 yo and I thought I was going mad, none of the doctors belived me or knew how to help It feels amazing to know that I'm not alone, did anyone else get a hostile or unpleasant reaction from people when you told them what you where going through?


Absolutely. After, losing memory is something that apparently only happens to old people. Even "early-onset Alzheimer's" doesn't happen until one's 50s or thereabouts. Coupled with the fact that normal tests of memory and cognition typically find us to be average to above average, and we clearly are all a bunch of crazy hypochondriacs. My favorite response from doctors is that "it's not possible to feel the way you claim to feel", which was formally certified by numerous MMPI (personality) tests that were declared invalid, and therefore, that I was faking or exaggerating my distress for attention.

With respect to the memory issue in particular, I typically describe it as a problem in exectutive memory, as opposed to short or long term. For example, I can remember facts and propositional knowledge fine, especially when specifically tested in a formal setting, like school or in front of a psychologist. But I knew something was really wrong when, during my first job after college, one of the sales staff would tell me they were going to such-and-such law firm, then maybe half hour later my boss would stop by and ask me if I knew where Debbie was, and I would respond that I didn't know...eventually there would be some kind of argument and ultimately it would come back to me, since this was part of my job, people thought I wasn't paying attention or doing my job and was very close to being fired because of it (quite frankly, I think they didn't fire me because they either felt sorry for me or were afraid of a lawsuit).


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## anitas (Aug 28, 2018)

Same problem here and I really hope to get out of this soon :-( it's scary


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