# Klonopin



## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

A wonder drug. Seriously, the first few months on it I felt like a new person (little did I know I was...it totally changed my personality). My DP was gone, I was able to smoke and drink again without fear of it coming back. I was partying...way too much. I stopped caring about myself, my kids, my husband. I did a lot of things that were not me. I burned bridges I wish I hadn't.
Fast forward a few months. I'm taking more and more because it's not enough. My dosage gets upped one two three times. Even that's not enough. I feel like a crackhead jonesing for that next bump. When my script takes too long to be filled I freak out and spend hours on the phone trying to figure out why. I've never abused it, never actively taken more than I should except on a few really bad days, but I'm an addict. I can't function without it. During withdrawal I lay on my couch, unable to deal with my kids, unable to deal with life. I don't know whether to scream or cry. I've tried so many times to come off of this drug and now I'm going to do it right.
I've successfully dry cut my way down to 1.5 mg daily. From here I'm going to make a titration plan with my doctor to cross over to diazepam.
I have a love/hate relationship with this drug. I believe it may have saved my life in the beginning but it is too addicting. Other than nicotine, I've never been addicted to any substance in my life before Klonopin. It's not fun.
I won't tell anyone never to try benzos. I know they've helped a lot of people here. But take my story as a warning. They are dangerous. And it's a sad day when you look back and realize you're addicted to a drug that doesn't even help you anymore and the road back is a long, terrifying one.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I know how you feel.. I don't think I'd survived without benzo's at the beginning of this, but now that I'm going off them, it's like having to start all over again.

The past 10 months or so with dp and being on drugs, I've said and done more stupid things than I'd ever thought possible.
The worst thing might be that I moved out of my boyfriend(and 1-year old kid's dad)'s house, just because I didn't recognize anything and it freaked me out. Of course, it hasn't helped, everything is just a hundred times more complicated and I wish someone had stopped me.
I seem to lose control of what I say when on this drug, even if I don't feel "drugged".
Basically, I feel like an idiot when I've talked to someone. To my surprise that has changed now that I've stopped taking my morning benzo, and it's a huge relief. Anxiety's hell though, but at lest I'm more in control.

I guess what I'm saying is, drugs change you, some of what one think is dp might in fact be side-effects of medication. It's better to fight it without, if one can manage.. As you know of course.

This got kind of confusing but my dp is hell today..









Good luck with withdrawal, from one mom to another..


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## MSwartz (Jan 24, 2010)

Klonopin is the only thing that saved me from doing something stupid. It almost eliminates my symptoms most of the time. However, due to how addictive it is, and the withdrawals going off of it, I tend to be wary to tell people they should take it.

I view it as a 'necessary' addiction, as without it I'd be too much of a mess to even go on.


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## Angela2006 (Jan 20, 2006)

MSwartz said:


> Klonopin is the only thing that saved me from doing something stupid. It almost eliminates my symptoms most of the time. However, due to how addictive it is, and the withdrawals going off of it, I tend to be wary to tell people they should take it.
> 
> I view it as a 'necessary' addiction, as without it I'd be too much of a mess to even go on.


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## Angela2006 (Jan 20, 2006)

I've been taking Xanax for years - I have never had to go up on the dose. It doesn't help my DP/DR very much, but it is the only thing that helps. I take Celexa for night-time panic attacks and have just added lamictal to see if it helps the DP/DR, but my addiction to Xanax is definitely "a necessary addition." My world would be very difficult without it.


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## dreamingoflife (Oct 22, 2006)

MSwartz said:


> Klonopin is the only thing that saved me from doing something stupid. It almost eliminates my symptoms most of the time. However, due to how addictive it is, and the withdrawals going off of it, I tend to be wary to tell people they should take it.
> 
> I view it as a 'necessary' addiction, as without it I'd be too much of a mess to even go on.


I have fought with myself on the statement "necessary addiction" for awhile now. I think that if a drug helps you live and become funcational again after living in this hell that it wouldn't be a bad thing. I do consider the fact that the pills might stop working and then I am hooked on a pill that doesn't even help and makes me feel horrible when I don't take it which is the reason I have stayed away from regular use of benzos.

My current situation though I feel isn't going to get me anywhere I want to be and I am drug free...well besides the occasional xanax I take when I am out which isn't much these days and it's a low dose at that. I am considering klonopin because it will HOPEFULLY keep me stable enough so I can get out and get my life on track again and then try and do away with them when I feel ok again. This is probably a fantasy plot I have here but anything is better than how I feel at the moment. But anyway, I feel that if a drug helps you live and be happy then it's a necessary addiction. Oh and I have to edit this because when I say drug, I mean anything prescribed to you by a doctor. I don't want to encourage the use of illegal drugs


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## MSwartz (Jan 24, 2010)

dreamingoflife said:


> I have fought with myself on the statement "necessary addiction" for awhile now. I think that if a drug helps you live and become funcational again after living in this hell that it wouldn't be a bad thing. I do consider the fact that the pills might stop working and then I am hooked on a pill that doesn't even help and makes me feel horrible when I don't take it which is the reason I have stayed away from regular use of benzos.
> 
> My current situation though I feel isn't going to get me anywhere I want to be and I am drug free...well besides the occasional xanax I take when I am out which isn't much these days and it's a low dose at that. I am considering klonopin because it will HOPEFULLY keep me stable enough so I can get out and get my life on track again and then try and do away with them when I feel ok again. This is probably a fantasy plot I have here but anything is better than how I feel at the moment. But anyway, I feel that if a drug helps you live and be happy then it's a necessary addiction. Oh and I have to edit this because when I say drug, I mean anything prescribed to you by a doctor. I don't want to encourage the use of illegal drugs


It makes day-to-day life worth living again for me, so I do not consider klonopin addiction a bad thing for myself at all. It's saved me.
However I still call it addiction rather than medication because tolerance does develop, and the withdrawal symptoms are horrific and in rare cases even deadly if you were to stop a high-dose cold turkey. Deciding to go onto klonopin or another long-acting benzo is something I view as a life decision, because once you start for a good while, trying to go off is horrific. Plus there's no point to going off of it since it works so well (for me).

That being said, I'm not trying to scare you or anyone else away from it. Klonopin does not stop working over time in terms of how it helps eliminate symptoms. As tolerance develops you may end up needing more over time. However, when you reach a certain point (which for me takes a long time), you slowly taper the dose (VERY SLOWLY) down and then start the process again. It won't help as much at the lower end of the spectrum of dosages, but it's generally not smart to end up past the 5mg mark (I did once and I was totally nuts at that dosage).

I'd say if you think it will help you, start out at a low dose taken daily, and then evaluate how well it's helping you. If it's not helping much, quitting won't be tough at a low dose (especially short-term). If it really works wonders, then maybe make 'the decision' to stay on it indefinitely, if you manage to find a psychiatrist or otherwise that will prescribe you benzos long-term (which is a battle in-itself). There's no point to suffering without medication when there is something that can help you. But you need to weigh the pros and cons very carefully as it's not a medication that can be stopped suddenly.


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

I think MSwartz has some good advice there. My situation won't apply to everyone but it is a possible outcome for any who venture down the "benzo road", so to speak.
When I would hit tolerance withdrawal I'd bring myself down about a half mg for a few weeks and then go back up to my original dose. But that never helped for long.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I have 46 days off benzos and my thinking is a good 30%-50% better. I wouldn't recommend Klonopin, Xanax, or any benzo to anyone unless they have a loaded gun in their mouth. It's like putting a band-aid on a cancer patient. I know it seems impossible to get off this shit but it is doable. You have to ween off properly, pull the plug, and not go back. Make sure to get some melatonin for sleep, that will help a lot.


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## aloof (Nov 18, 2008)

I think we need to be careful using the word "addiction" here. Klonopin does have withdrawal issues when used long term, but this is highly dependent on the individual, the duration, and the dosage. BTW try stopping an SSRI cold turkey after long term use. I have had these discussions with 2 different doctors and they both think that Klonopin is fine used long term when it is controlled....and at relatively low dosages. For those who build a rapid tolerance and keep upping the dose then its likely more problematic. It is then no longer "controlled" and is approaching abuse...and likely more of a problem to stop.


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## MSwartz (Jan 24, 2010)

aloof said:


> I think we need to be careful using the word "addiction" here. Klonopin does have withdrawal issues when used long term, but this is highly dependent on the individual, the duration, and the dosage. BTW try stopping an SSRI cold turkey after long term use. I have had these discussions with 2 different doctors and they both think that Klonopin is fine used long term when it is controlled....and at relatively low dosages. For those who build a rapid tolerance and keep upping the dose then its likely more problematic. It is then no longer "controlled" and is approaching abuse...and likely more of a problem to stop.


Do some research before making statements like this. Benzos, long term, going off cold-turkey can literally KILL you from the withdrawals alone. Addiction is a perfectly appropriate term. They are a very unique substance, and comparing them to SSRI's is ridiculous.


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## aloof (Nov 18, 2008)

MSwartz said:


> Do some research before making statements like this. Benzos, long term, going off cold-turkey can literally KILL you from the withdrawals alone. Addiction is a perfectly appropriate term. They are a very unique substance, and comparing them to SSRI's is ridiculous.


I have done plenty of research..I take the stuff..and have consulted with 2 doctors about long term use. And I dont believe I said anyone should quit cold turkey. And as for SSRIs, the point is that when you are on any psychoactive drug for a long period there will likely be withdrawal symptoms if you quit to fast....i was not making any comparison as to the severity of the symptoms between different meds- just a general statement. That will vary from person to person, as well as the dosage and duration. There are in fact people that have stopped taking Benzos with little problem without an extended taper. And I disagree that addiction is the proper term, as it strongly implies abuse. dependency and tolerance yes. You need to learn to read and process information better.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2010)

To be honest, i've been on klonopin since 07, i started off at 1mg a day, i'm now at fucking 5mg. I too love, but hate the drug, i wish i never had DP, i know without klonopin i'd be in a coffin right now, but it feels like i'm going to be there in a few years because of the drug. I drink on klonopin, i've had elevated liver enzymes, which according to my doctor was because of my weight, but it's a rough drug to be on irregardless. I haven't felt "good" since before my dp went from a dormant condition to a chronic proble, and that was back in 06. I really wish i could back in time, but, thats life i guess, and we live it how we have to. I can't even fathom what it would be like to have a husband and a child. I really feel for you on that one, all i have to worry about is myself, If you ever need someone to talk to i'm here to listen, i know what it's like.

~Jeff


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## Absentis (Jul 10, 2007)

I've been taking clonazepam daily for at least a year, and I consider myself dependent, rather than addicted, on the medication. My psychiatrist leans towards the epilepsy explanation for DP/DR, and descries by low dose usage as a maintenance medication.

I believe dependence, rather than addiction, is the proper description for people who use benzos in a medical context. I am prescribed it for a medical condition, I don't get high on it, I take a steady dose and aren't increasing my usage. Will I experience withdrawal if I stop using it? Certainly, but that's not a sufficient condition for defining what is or isn't an addiction.

Edit: I completed writing a sentence that I forgot to finish typi


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