# Reading a book about emotional abuse and neglect....



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

An important part I came across in a book I have started to read, "healing your emotional self" by Beverly Engel

She was giving examples of different clients that came to her and she said she noticed the "robotic like movements and deadened facial expression" of one of her client, she then stated that she had been emotionally shutdown due to childhood emotional neglect and feeling unloved & unwanted by both her parents.

This book is rather interesting and she actually goes into detail about all kinds of issues emotional abuse and neglect have on kids. She then goes onto how her "mirror therapy can help to heal the shame and emotional wounds" giving you exercises and changing your distorted sense of self.

She has a paragraph on "reconnecting with your body" and goes into detail on how to do it and explains that the disconnection people have with there bodies is the evidence of the emotional abuse, neglect & smothering you suffered growing up. "leading to eating disorders, bulimia, compulsive overeating & anorexia. children who were emotionally abused or deprived are often out of touch with there bodies & do not know how to read there bodies sensations or messages. The pain of rejection, humiliation or deprivation may have been so intense that they had to numb themselves against it. If no one was there to comfort them when they were in discomfort or pain they had to turn of the sensation or emotion." .............. anyways she goes on to heapse more detail and I am really starting to understand emotional abuse and neglect alot more now & why this lead to Depersonalization OR shall I say shutting down of the feelings which the panic attacks are the signal for this however it gradually happened up until the panic.

Types of Mirrors negative parents portray:

"I am unlovable mirror" -- when parents are NEGLECTFUL or do not have time for there children sends this message
"I am worthless mirror" -- when children are physically or emotionally rejected or abandoned by there parents
"I am nothing without my parent" -- when parents are overprotective or emotionally smothering
"I am powerless mirror" -- when parents are overly controlling or tyrannical causing the child to feel like they have no personal power and the child learns to not trust itself..

SOUND FAMILIAR TO ANYONE? anyways in her book she gives you the therapy to change this and reconnect with your body and recover and heal your shame

just thought I would share if anyone was interested


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

yes I seen that ... seems to happen to me all the time lol whenever I make a post

I have not finished reading it and yes it is helpfull and she tells you exactly what to do to change the distorted mirrors of yourself and to reconnect with your body


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

im sorry to hear that you went through emotional abuse too....


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

So can you give a few tips or generalizations that she gives to help reconnect? Nothing too indepth with a lot of typing for you. I'm not that cruel haha. Still, I have always had doubts about psychological shifts in thinking when it concerns "mindless" dp. If you're not plagued by depressive thoughts and your mind is just blank and dulled, then how can thinking happy or positive thoughts really do anything? Unless there is a negative subconscious thing going on that we're not aware of.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I have not finished reading the book yet I'm only halfway through .... yeah I'm not a fan of mindless and mediation shit I mean it can help to quiet your mind however you still have the same issue which is not expressing yourself and holding back right?


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Umm, you kinda lost me there lol. Yeah meditation is ok if you're obsessed with those existential thoughts (which lucky for me I never had those). Psychological help is positive affirmation to correct those poor self images like those "mirror" examples you mentioned right? But if your mind is basically blank, then what negative thought processes are you trying to correct? I can see that if you are constantly putting yourself down and hating yourself then yeah change your thinking and try to pat yourself on the back. But if you are just a blank then how can you get at the core of what's causing it if you can't identify or feel the problem? Non?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

DP is basically loss of identity and I think when u find ur true self again seperate from the beliefs and conditioning u were taught to accept u will be a whole new stronger person... It takes a lot of effort and courage going through the "shame"


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## Guest (Nov 27, 2012)

It's basically torture. How much can one person take before they crack?
People are bent and wrought into all sorts of shapes often only to be the muse of others.
Sometimes you either find yourself like a clown such as Falstaff or a tragic hero.
When in reality, you should be the reader.
Even the audience becomes too irreverent.

Certain situations, people, at times, are better avoided.


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