# Don't you just hate when..



## chakrisdom (Nov 9, 2013)

You're finally holding a "normal" conversation with someone and then things start to seem like they are going in slow motion? Your thoughts are running so fast that you're sure it should be the next day. Seriously wtf? Then they look at you and say those three words that you dread hearing everyday, "are you okay?". Oh myyyy. I don't like to explain DP to anyone that isn't close close family. Even then it sucks because i don't like when people are worried about me.

I just want to be able to look at someone in the damn eye for longer than 3 seconds without contemplating reality.

I just want to be able to say "yes" to that cup of coffee my mother offers me.

I just want to have a personality again.

I go places because i have to. At first it was hell, now it's endurable. But looking at someone in the eye is just horrible, even the thought is disturbing. So i walk around with my head down and find my eyes trying to focus to anything that isn't another human being. But NO that doesn't help! WHY?? CUZ seeing brand names or anything that has to do with advertisement makes me want to run into the woods and build my own cabin away from all of this.

A PLACE where i can look at wild animals, no kind of socialization... that's my paradise. HAhaHha when i start to have really bad anxiety i look up wild animals on the internet, put the video on mute, (because of the damn observer talking about the animals in the background) and drift into the most wonderful thoughts.

If there is a such thing as past lives, i think i was a TURTLE. I'm the one in the background, the one who fears to be center of attention, would rather be alone than with others. I wish i had a shell i could just go into when i didn't want to be bothered with.

I love chatting with people with dp/dr. Even if you guys don't see me as a friend, i feel like you guys are the only ones who really care. Well we all have the same thing here so... yeah. Just wanted to say thank you.


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## WalkowD (Feb 9, 2014)

> Oh myyyy. I don't like to explain DP to anyone that isn't close close family. Even then it sucks because i don't like when people are worried about me.
> 
> I just want to be able to look at someone in the damn eye for longer than 3 seconds without contemplating reality.


I agree completely. I hate having to explain myself, while at the same time I want to give people an excuse for my "spaciness." I long for the day when I can be invested in conversations and everyday activities. I had a great start to my day when me and some friends went to the beach, but before long I was back to the same existential questions that plague my thoughts. I know we will get over this, but it just sucks to be somewhere else all the time.


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