# Anger/rage and memory loss.



## Guest (Aug 20, 2008)

When I get really angry which doesnt happen to much latley not like it used to anyway...or I get a rage usually because my dad has wound me up....I get so angry that afterwards I cant remember all of what was said during an argument..its like something takes me over..I remember random bits of things ive said...like telling my old man he has no testicles[balls guts..] but cant remember why I said it......Im an extremley placid calm person but when I get angry the sky turns red,I really goe off........Im used to rage I used to be raged all the time.infact my dad is the only person who still makes me angry...but Im a bit worried about the memory loss and not remembering the whole ordeal.Does anyone else get this?...i do wonnder if its because when i was younger expressing anger to him meant getting a beating...so it wasnt safe and now subconscioussly it still doesnt feel safe.

Spirit.


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2008)

Yes I know what you mean, are you aware that anger lowers the IQ? So it could effect memory as well. Best/interesting thing to do it record yourself while being pee'ed off... so just as you're whoopin ass... ask for a "Time out" and start recording.


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2008)

No I think its a discosiative thing....I dont think anger would lower your IQ to the point of dementia during an argument lol..
Im also thinking that memory and IQ arent necarsarily the same thing.


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2008)

No no no no no... you just totally "no'ed" me there =*(... lol


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Anger is a difficult emotion to handle, it is important not to keep it inside (Stuffing it) It is good to let it out before it takes its toll on you and you burst. I never had a problem letting it out, which I read is a good thing believe it or not. I never held it in? But you have to watch out when your anger is directed at somebody...
From my readings, it depends on what your anger is based on... Is it reasonable and rational or is it more the out of control emotional and insecurity driven anger? I have learned to let anger go since having this DP I am looking at things from a different point of view. I just don?t see what it accomplishes, except for raising our Anxiety levels, Heart rate, and Blood Pressure too. The more we can be at peace with ourselves the better we will feel and this is so important if we are to recover from this DP. I have always been an aggressive person in the past which has served me well with my work and other areas in my life. But with this aggressive trait came times of anger, that now looking back did not help matters one bit, it just made matters worse in the end. I just cant even think of letting myself get upset anymore, its not worth it, it just pulls one down so far and makes it tough to get back up. On one hand you feel good blowing off the steam and on the other hand you feel bad because you did not maintain self control or even worse hurt someones feelings! Anger can be a very destructive emotion! And if one is not carefull it can be habit forming too... Most of all it really can have a detrimental effect on one health, with anger comes stress and who knows maybe DP? Self Awareness is the key, know when you are getting out of line and catch yourself before you blow!! I believe Anger and Patience are two key areas of all of our live that we can always work on.

Scott

P.S About the memory loss thing... I think I have a bit in the past depending on the extent of the anger. Anger is the ultimate emotion and when we go overboard, which I have in the past its almost like you loose your senses! Here is a good analogy which I think hits the nail on the head.... There are alot of people serving time in prizon for the ultimate crime " Murder" some of the people serviing time did not have criminal records and most of all never had a history of vilolence they just lost their tempers for that one moment and snapped! And most of all, many do say they dont even remember what hapened next thier minds went blank... ( example: man comes home early from work and catches wife with the cable man in bed and boom! The emotions take over and you know the ending of this story) They are regretfull of what they did and all said that they let thier anger overwhelm them... So watch out and don't let your emmotions take over.!


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2008)

SSolanik said:


> Anger is a difficult emotion to handle, it is important not to keep it inside (Stuffing it) It is good to let it out before it takes its toll on you and you burst. I never had a problem letting it out, which I read is a good thing believe it or not. I never held it in? But you have to watch out when your anger is directed at somebody...
> From my readings, it depends on what your anger is based on... Is it reasonable and rational or is it more the out of control emotional and insecurity driven anger? I have learned to let anger go since having this DP I am looking at things from a different point of view. I just don?t see what it accomplishes, except for raising our Anxiety levels, Heart rate, and Blood Pressure too. The more we can be at peace with ourselves the better we will feel and this is so important if we are to recover from this DP. I have always been an aggressive person in the past which has served me well with my work and other areas in my life. But with this aggressive trait came times of anger, that now looking back did not help matters one bit, it just made matters worse in the end. I just cant even think of letting myself get upset anymore, its not worth it, it just pulls one down so far and makes it tough to get back up. On one hand you feel good blowing off the steam and on the other hand you feel bad because you did not maintain self control or even worse hurt someones feelings! Anger can be a very destructive emotion! And if one is not carefull it can be habit forming too... Most of all it really can have a detrimental effect on one health, with anger comes stress and who knows maybe DP? Self Awareness is the key, know when you are getting out of line and catch yourself before you blow!! I believe Anger and Patience are two key areas of all of our live that we can always work on.
> 
> Scott
> ...


Hi Scott,the anger I have towards my dad is reasonable anger.i dealt with all my unreasonable anger..this is complicated.He intentionally plays mind games to make me anger...I cant him show im angry because then hes won,his mind game has worked..and he takes GREAT joy out of it which is bad for my emotional health.....but sometimes i cant supress it,im human lol.
Like yourself im not in favour of anger as such,im not an angry person anymore..its very destructive but I also beleive that sometimes anger is justified..so now i allways ask myself if it is justified or not .Im not DP anymore and am pretty much at peace with myself through buddhist pracrice..my dad is still really the only person I get angry with.I dont immediatly get angry at anyone..but if somone does something and I calmly tell them its not acceptable but they continue doing it then I think im justified in getting angry.

Thanks for your message
Spirit.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

That there be the red mist. he he.

Had it a few times. First twice resulted in the same thing with the same piece of scum. When I came out of it, it felt kinda like waking up, then seeing him lying on the floor with blood all over him and my hands. He didn't expect that from an 11 year old. TWICE. he he. Fuckin scum.


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2008)

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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Whoa. I bet that freaked you out a bit.

New avatar for you just in case:


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2008)

Thanks I like that,reminds me off Kali the goddess of death with bodies underfoot..shes one of my role models


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Sweet.

Doesn't she have lots of arms like Shiva though? And is possibly blue as well?


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2008)

Dave120281 said:


> Doesn't she have lots of arms like Shiva though? And is possibly blue as well?


Yeah.lol.................Well I can multi task while holding my breath..thats not bad is it.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Certainly sounds like an ability that could have numerous useful applications by anyone's standards. he he.


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2008)

Dave120281 said:


> Certainly sounds like an ability that could have numerous useful applications by anyone's standards. he he.


omg is that just my mind,or yours?


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

Of course I dont expect you to answar that or that it crossed your mind because youre not a creep...I dont know whats got in to me these last couple of days [well nothing unfortunatly  ]..im ashamed of myself,Ive been possessed by a horny spirit or something....Is this what happens when woman hit their sexual peak?........Tommorow I will be so enbarassed that I even said those things.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

What makes it even worse is that I didn't mean it in a dirty way at all*. You're just a perv! lol 

*Or did I?


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

I know ! :lol: .I didnt mean it that way either to start with,but I just "went there"..I think its a combination of kali the goddess of death and her eight arms "tools" in hands and you with all your body modification..pain/pleasure.. ,it got my mind gong a bit.it excited me....im not normally like this honestly.I need excorsism.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Excuses, excuses. He he. Don?t get carried away, not to sound all self loathing but I?m honestly, seriously unattractive. I had a rough paper round. He he.

I?m sure there?s a witty double entendre to be borne of you ?needing an exorcism.? lol


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

You make it sound like im trying to get you into bed now lol........youre really helping me out of this one arent you. Thanks  I meant in general ,not with anyone in particular..



Dave120281 said:


> not to sound all self loathing but I?m honestly, seriously unattractive. I had a rough paper round. He he.


Well yes thats not to self loathing then is it ..steady..youll be sticking a gun to your head next and saying "not to be self loathing or anything but..." 



> I?m sure there?s a witty double entendre to be borne of you ?needing an exorcism.? lol


No I dont do double entry ..  :roll: ....

I know what it means really...


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Just giving my honest opinion! 

Sooooo?.. Was I right in guessing you?re drinking tonight? He he


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

why did I shock you or something...No you,d be wrong...but i,ll still regret it all in the morning  ...I must be a bit manic...Since people usually acuse of being drunk when I am...but as usual I dont think I am...but im wondering if I shouldnt go back and delete what ive written :? before hand..but then..im just mucking about and pushing the limit out a bit.So do we need to be drunk to have fun or a sence of humour?


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Not at all to both questions.

I'm not used to talking to people with funny heads so I assume that anyone that is online at this time of a Saturday morning having such a conversation has been drinking as it's usually the case.


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

No, I dont sleep untill the sun comes up,any day of the week.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

Through choice? Insomnia? Inherently nocturnal?


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

Well I think the third one ..I love being up at night time,i come to life at midnight,even as a child.I havnt slept at night time for years now kinda got used to it.I have tried altering my routine but it wont work.Im also not a sun person I come alive during the autum/winter time which I love which is prob why im in such a good mood because its getting like autum[sp?] now.Im a moon person ,i feel very intense around the full moon..and get nightmares at the dark moon..im thinking when I get a job it might have to be night shifts lol.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

I can understand the coming alive at night thing. That's what I'm like. I still prefer longer daylight days though. Lack of daylight depresses the shit out of me. I'm a total SAD case. Pun totally intended I'm afraid.


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

Well I would probably be better if i lived with other people........i get alot of fear come up at night....im hoping to find lodgeings with others and then try and change my routine.....Will you stop doing yourself down lol....ive really enjoyed chatting with you tonight.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

You still living with your dad I take it? Do you mind if I ask just how old you are? I'm back with my dad at present too and it friggin sucks. I can't afford to get a privately rented place though and the council are doing less than nothing to help accommodate me.

I wasn't, that was my whole "pun." Seasonal Adjustment Disorder (S.A.D.) case. 

Ditto. I'm sorry to say I'm going to go shortly though. I have a hardcore lifestyle to live up to. There's a cheese and pickle sandwich with my name on and several episodes of Malcolm In The Middle need watching. :mrgreen:


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

No I not living with my dad god forbid lol.we would have killed each other by now.I live alone in a house thats to big..I am 29 and gong through my saturns return with my moon in libra,interesting time...to much?......Well i dont work yet so i get houseing benefit etc....you work?

kay enjoy your sandwich.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

LOL. I know that feeling.

Not too much, no, but I'll be honest I know nothing about Astrology. Guess my sign! he he.

Well, up until a couple of weeks ago I had been back at my IT job as part of a back to work rehab thing but I had a bad relapse (I have a few other mental issues as well.) so am not at present. I've been told to apply for benefits until I get my meds looked at and get to a point where I can look at going back to work. Thing is, I can do the job still just not in that environment at present. They keep saying they can't let me work from home in the meantime but I know they're full of shit.

Will do. Enjoy the rest of your morning.


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

Dave120281 said:


> LOL. I know that feeling.
> 
> Not too much, no, but I'll be honest I know nothing about Astrology. Guess my sign! he he.


Ive not gaged you enough yet..its not libra is it? I get on well with aquarians quite well for some reason,love their energy.And scorpios.Im a mix of saggy and scorpio i think but i need to get my chart done,im sure theres some virgo and aquarian in there also. :?



> Well, up until a couple of weeks ago I had been back at my IT job as part of a back to work rehab thing but I had a bad relapse (I have a few other mental issues as well.) so am not at present. I've been told to apply for benefits until I get my meds looked at and get to a point where I can look at going back to work. Thing is, I can do the job still just not in that environment at present. They keep saying they can't let me work from home in the meantime but I know they're full of shit.
> 
> Will do. Enjoy the rest of your morning.


oh dont worry i have plenty of "mental issues".Seriously..im totally friggin nuts..though I enjoy it now.Well if you did claim benifits you could get a flat and get help with the rent and stuff...im off home to bed now so i gotta go outside now and face the rising sun...puts fingers in a cross position at it.

See ya laters.


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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

He he he.

I?ll let you keep guessing. 

I?ve been on the council waiting list for aaaages now though and have had no joy so far. Is there more chance of them giving me a flat if I?m claiming benefits for being a nutter?

It?s a gorgeous day up here this morning.


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

Dave120281 said:


> He he he.
> 
> I?ll let you keep guessing.
> 
> ...


Yeah it was a gorgious day ,I didnt go to bed till 9.30 am,I dont dislike sunshine really.
Well in answar to your question ,in some circumstances,yes.It depends what reasons you can "create" to get them to give a flat/house.Like if living with your parets was making you worse emotionaly/mentally and you could get a mental health worker to agree to that in writing[you can convince of that easily im sure],you have more points going for you.You need to get everyone behind you ie;social worker/mental health worker/team...,do you have mental health workers who can help with this?..mines a total star she will help me with anything,she went shoping for me the other day when theyre not suposed to unless you go with them but I was to poorly....

Well you like the day light hours and the sun which usually indicates a fire sign,sagitaurius,leo or aries...though im a fire sign so its not allways true.


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2008)

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## Dave120281 (Aug 18, 2008)

I'll bare that in mind. Yeah, mine's brilliant too. I'm sure she'll give me something in writing no problem.

he he he. I must be hard to figure out. My dad and brother are both Sagittarius but not me I'm afraid. Keep guessing!

Sorry if I'm prying here and you don't have to answer if you don't want but how come you're still in touch with your dad seeing how things are so bad between you? I know he's a parent and all and you wanna love him no matter what but in my opinion there's only so much you can take from anyone before you have to sever all contact. I don't know what things are like with you and your dad so tell me to keep my nose out of your business if you like. In my case I stopped all contact with my "mother" at 15 due to a lot of things and realisation of even more things from the past that I guess I didn't really admit to myself for so long. There are just some things you should never do to your kids or allow to happen to them. You've just gotta draw the line with them at some point whether they're your parents or not. I don't see my mother as a mother. She gave birth to me and that's it. She's no mother.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2008)

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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

*ANGER/RAGE*
I was reading somewhere that it's okay to get angry.

Oh that's right, it was from a counselling book. A chapter on how to counsel people with depression.
I was reading the part where some people can't show anger because they - 
a) were told that they're not allowed to
b) want to tell people who hurt them that they're angry because they care too much for them (not exact words)

Since experiencing DP/DR (or whatever i got), I feel nothing but anger/bitterness/rage inside me. Speaking of rage, I have bad road rage (not to the point where i'd get out of the car and bash up the other driver).

Question: How do you control your anger?

*MEMORY LOSS:*

Being detached from feelings and emotions made me forget what things were like in the past.
... I don't have much of a past because things I went through from High School years til now  Constantly keep wondering why I'm here, what am I doing here, where am I??


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2008)

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## AntiSocial (Jul 12, 2008)

i was pretty much raised being told to fear my dad so i would keep my anger bottled up inside but now that im older im just like "fuck that guy" and dont bottle up my anger anymore which is probly alot healthier. i think bottling my anger contributed to my anxiety/dp in the first place


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2008)

I dont bottle it up,I release it in other ways away from him mostly.I just cant show him hes made me angry etc..or upset or any emotional where he could exploit me.


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