# New REALLY Weird Feeling (Please read)



## Dram (Jan 22, 2016)

My Story

Hey guys Im Dram and this is my second time having DPDR. The first time came from smoking marijuana and lasted a couple of months from December 2012 to early 2013. It just eventually went away no problem and i forgot about it (at the time it was terrible). Well i would smoke weed here and there but would only get DPDR for the next day, and it was a VERY mild form. I smoked last around October or November of last year and had a really bad panic attack and was for sure i was going to have DPDR again. To my "luck" i guess you could say it subsided quickly. Though in December i was with my closest friends going to chickfila. They could tell something was wrong as i just thought i was stressing, when we got to the drive through i freaked out and told them to take me to the hospital and that i thought i was gonna die. My leg shook almost as bad as a seizure and i remember continuously asking them to get me to a dr asap. Eventually after waiting so long it just went away but i did feel weird. But it all started when i woke up the next day. The first thing i did was come back on this site and youtube because i knew immediately what i had. I would get to where i thought i was almost better (what i call 9.9) and would relapse from anxiety or depression.

The "new" feeling

I had a new panic attack yesterday, though not a major one. So i just went home and start to feel really weird this time. I brushed it off and went to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night feeling like no DPDR feeling ive ever felt. I see the world around me as almost real, like mentally i know its real, it just seems weird (just not the normal dr feeling) and i feel mentally detacted completely from my body. I have these weird random thoughts like one was "if i put this mailbox/sign in the ground could a car drive under it" it was completely random and makes 0 sense. Also ive ALWAYS since i last smoked been paranoid of someone drugging my food or something stupid. But its only when im not at home. Also i had really weird dreams tonight. Like i was with youtuber Outlaw and he was showing the different angles of tree stands he had and then it morphed into this weird military miltia group training of me and a bunch of random people. I remember parachuting out of the sky shooting "bad guys" and then meeting with the group at some building and two of the guy being super scared to kill people and i told them "If the time comes where you have to kill your natural reaction will be to kill." I then remember being in a chinese hotel like and i remember when i opened the fridge and shook it a little a yellow light came on and for reason i had heard (either in the dream or thought i heard in real life) that the Chinese used to have yellow lights in there fridges so they knew when the American were coming. I feel SUPER numb, like i was just smiling not 12 or 13 hrs ago and felt absolutely great (like a 8). At my worst which i refer to as 0 i was constantly crying, looking everywhere for that magic trick to fix it all and make it all go away. Now if i judge this feeling as 0, that old 0 should move all the way up to at least a 4. Ive been as social as possible, before my last relapse (not this one) going out everyday i was awake (i had a bad sleep schedule). I think its just being in the car because all of my anxiety attacks besides one have come while being in a car. I know alot of people say this but im scared i really do have schizophrenia or psychosis. Ive had weird random thoughts before like one time i smoked weed and i couldnt get the Dora song out of my head, and i literally repeated it that whole morning until i forgot about it. But this one is really weird because they aren't repeatative there are just a bunch of super random thoughts. But then sometimes i have no thoughts whatsoever because usually with DPDR i have racing thoughts until i start being a social or distract myself. But oddly enough writing this post is distracting me from how i feel.

The point

I need to know if anyone else is experiencing these feelings. To summarize them for you.

Super random racing thoughts
Weird dreams
Slight paranoia
Complete emotional numbness (you could smile at the happiest thing in the world like no stretch)

Thank you and please respond. Lets help each other heal. Peace. Love. As One. -Dram


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

Just some thoughts:

Mild psychotic-like thoughts don't indicate schizophrenia, or even psychosis necessarily.

Your dream was normal.

Stop smoking weed.

See a psychiatrist and psychologist.

Sorry to be short. I just want that to register. Also, your experience with DPDR sounds a lot like mine. It may be a pretty normal case.


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## Dram (Jan 22, 2016)

Thank you for the reassurance. I do feel alot better this morning. I think its just really high anxiety which is leading to some depression because i feel like i cant do anything without having a panic attack.


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

The anxiety becomes much less, and you can learn to control it. If you want to run through what you are doing, I'll see if there's anything else I could add.


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## wreeipruds (Jan 19, 2016)

This sounds a lot like me. I worry constantly that I might be into the early stages of Schizophrenia, but that's just a symptom of DP/DR.


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## Dram (Jan 22, 2016)

I actually feel a whole lot better since that night. I just spent to much time obcessing over those thoughts i feel like. Im going to slowly try to get off all these forums and stop researching and just trying the "distraction" method


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