# Is This even Depersonalization and is there any Hope ?



## woey (Mar 27, 2014)

Is there any hope ?

Is this even Depersonalization ?

Does DP get worse over time ?

Why do I feel like I'm so close to feeling normal ? Its almost like a tease?y
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So about 5 years ago I went into my fridge and grabbed a sealed budlight beer and drank it.Shorty after that I took a nap and everything around me felt "strange" I thought it was the beer but when I noticed that 3 hours had went by I knew something was wrong.The best way to describe this weird feeling is my hearing has changed things don't sound the same.When I look at people and try to have a conversation things feel weird.The best way I can describe this feeling is in movies when main characters take a pain killers there perception and everything around them changes.The feeling I was experiencing was like that but a bit more mild.This feeling was constant 24/7 and still is.What kills me the most is it so hard to explain.Something feels off I know there is something wrong. I don't feel the same anymore.So a month went after I first starting feeling like this so I went to the doctor and he said I ear wax build up so I thought maybe that's why everything feels funny.I will be okay after I get rid of some of the wax.So my doctor gave me some drops to dissolve the earwax.I used them for a week, went back and everything was clear but I still felt the same ??? something has to be wrong. So 3 months by and I finally get to see an ENT. The whole appointment lasts about five minutes before he says everything is normal. I begin to worry what is wrong me ? am I going crazy ? I begin to question my sanity.I begin to cry and stress.I'm living with this weird feeling 24/7 it almost feels like a mild buzz you get off Alcohol where your body just feels off.Two year go by and I see my primary care doctor again and I tell him .I still feel this feeling 24/7 what can I do ? He then send me to get a CT scan.which as you can guess comes back normal.I then begin to worry more.What is this feeling.Why can't doctors figure it out,There has to be answer.Another year goes by and I end up in the ER because of this weird feeling.They run an MRI to check for something like a brain tumor or something serious.The results come back and as you can guess again everything is normal.3 years into this weird feeling I feel confused what is this.My days don't feel the same.My perception of time is gone.What is time ? Another year goes by and I see a neurologist and I explain to him everything that I am feeling. I tell him everything.He tells everything looks normal .I will never forget what he said "Sometimes we as doctors just don't have an answer" Months after this I feel like everything gets worse.The weird feeling feels worse then it did before.Now I'm on my 5th year almost 6th year and I'm really suffering.

*I feel like I have no emotions

*I don't know what to feel

* I don't know how to feel

*what is a normal life ?

Who am I ?

I see people as they live their lives, I see people smile, I see people enjoy things.Why don't I smile ? Why don't I laugh.What the hell has happened to me. Will I ever get better because I feel like I have gotten worse and worse.Please tell there is hope.I don't know what hope is anymore ?


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

I can relate to your symptoms. I can' t connect to my memories at all...i feel ghostly, like no personality, it's awfull. No feellings, nothing. I just can't understand how people can go on with their life having dp. It seems imposible to me.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

Bill how do you fight this?What do you do?


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

bill said:


> People have to go on and fight this ****, cos if we don't, DP/DR has won.


So true


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## WalkowD (Feb 9, 2014)

I agree, anxiety is a necessary reaction of our body to our environment, is just becomes hyperactive. You have to focus on doing tasks you have control over, and ignore whether you are feeling better or worse. It doesn't matter if you feel that something is not working, it just matters that you are trying.


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