# What worked for me (fully recovered)



## Alex617 (Sep 23, 2015)

Hey guys, thought I'd make a little post talking about my experiences.

My issues started September last year, here is what I went through when it started:

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/51801-do-i-have-dpdr/

A bit later I experienced more of the physical symptoms, like feeling the world will vanish (not fun when you're driving), vision problems (brightness, warped vision), not recognizing myself/my home, unable to walk properly, agoraphobia etc. Lots of fun.

Today I don't have most of these problem, so here's what helped:

1. I'm sure this is a big part of my recovery despite making great progress without it, but I began TRT aka testosterone injections. I knew for year that my levels were below range, and this probably led to my anxiety issues. I believe it gave me the 'drive' to overcome some of the issues.

2. Mirtazapine, although I was already making great progress, my severe depression would render me unable to do much. This helped with that aspect, and I guess took care of that last elusive 1%. I don't believe it would have helped on its own though.

3. Existential psychotherapy. Normal therapists were useless to me because I was not able to talk about the 'weird' thoughts I had, and the very real nihilistic ideas that were spurring my massive despair/anxiety. With these people I could talk about any and all weird ideas I had, and they helped me find healthy ways to cope with these concepts.

4. Cutting out all recreational drugs. This speaks for itself, but things like pot will definitely make things worse. I used benzos for a good few months, they helped, but ultimately made things worse. The relief is temporary and won't lead to your resolution

5. This website and other resources. Without it, I could have spent years wondering what was going on with me. Thanks to places like this, I was already equipped with a ton of knowledge about what I was going through just a few weeks in to having it. When you read about people having this for years, keep in mind resources were slim back in the days.

6. Realizing that anxiety disorder was the core of this condition. I believe the negative human emotions fall in to two fundamental categories, anxiety and depression. Without anxiety, no symptoms of dp/dr can not upset you. I believe what happened to me initially was I had panic attacks and scary thoughts which overworked my brain. When the brain is in overdrive, weird things happen, I believe this is what dp/dr is. This leads to a repeating loop of having depersonalized symptoms, freaking out about it, leading to more dp/dr, until it becomes the norm. Try to see what happens when you allow the brain to relax and recover using classic anxiety treatment techniques like meditation, healthy diet and so on.

7. Acceptance. This was fundamental in my recovery. See, you can spend your entire life in this state, never having lived. I figured that despite it, I was still able to do things, have dreams, have desires and have a concept of what I wanted life to be life. If I kept that off until I cured this thing, I don't think anything would change. I decided that I'm going to just accept that I'm fucked up and live life in spite of it. With this mentality, I was no longer feeling trapped or hopeless, eventually I was able to forget about dp/dr for longer and longer periods of time.

8. Not giving up. Most people can't comprehend the idea of acceptance and not giving up. Acceptance simply means that you surrender to whatever shit is going on in your life, so that you can do whats in your power instead of wasting energy on grieving or worrying about what could have been. You must keep going and trying new things, especially if you're in the 30+ range, at this age the brain begins to become more stuck in its ways, without effort and novelty you can indeed be stuck in this rut for years on end. That being said, neuroplasticity and learning never stops, it's never too late.

Importantly remember that living with any kind of mental illness is a process. Your mind got fractured, the part of your brain that processes information got warped for whatever reason and now you must learn to live life with this. Don't ask when it will go away, because the mantra 'what resists persists' is painfully applicable to this. Seek inner peace, and do your best to live in the storm, if you can heal your psyche in spite of what happened to you, you have a good shot at getting out.


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## Stevemc92 (Jul 31, 2016)

Great post


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## Guest (Sep 3, 2016)

How was existential psychotherapy different than regular therapy?


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## Alex617 (Sep 23, 2015)

BoSox95 said:


> How was existential psychotherapy different than regular therapy?


Well it's in the name, it's based from existential schools of though.


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## Psychostein (Nov 3, 2016)

What you've stated is total bullshit, I've read your other posts you've always been in the rabbit hole, you seem to talking about how you got symptom free not how you got over intrusive thoughts.


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## tfiio (Nov 10, 2016)

psychostein, that was somewhat rude of you. if you have an issue with something someone's presented, it's smarter to bring it up politely first. they're more likely to listen that way. in addition to that, I don't recall seeing any claims that the original poster was focusing on intrusive thoughts or stating how to get over them. that's some strong projecting on your part right there.


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## Psychostein (Nov 3, 2016)

Fully recovered = being out of it fully not just symptom free. 
My apologies In advance.

Psychostein.


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## XBrave (Oct 28, 2016)

hey psychostein. i think being recovered does mean "symptom free" or *"out of it"* . As people with dp/dr , we experience certain symptoms (cognitive, visual, emotional, mental ... ) we all struggle with daily. and the existence of these symptoms keep us "depersonalized" or *"in dp".* i think, without any symptom of dp/dr, it cannot exist at all. it's that simple. you may do it with medications/ therapy/ 7 days of extreme meditation/ focus/ intense exercise/ supplements / hypnosis / paleo diet / test injections /cbt ... anything. or you might forget about it one day after trying different methods and snap out of it. everybody with mental disorders that are brought on by life circumstances (not genetics) , are completely able to recover 100%. that's what recent psychological trends are about (lifestyle changes).

I'm not there yet. coz i have not done all the different methods. i have not done anything at all yet. after 4 months of being in the *void*. MJ triggered it for me too. i may not get there soon. but believing that this is not the reality you want and not getting used to it is a step towards recovery. dp/dr takes so many years or months to form inside your unconscious mind and is usually brought/turned on by drug experiences or panic attacks (there are other different triggers). that's just the tip of a greater turmoil inside your mind. find the underlying issues _ address the root causes _ try to solve your pain and you'll wish dp/dr would come back. that's what i've heard from the people who snapped out of it after years.

and about intrusive thoughts. as humans of 21th century we've been grown in a mechanical society where we're not taught how to 1_control our thoughts 2_express our emotions. with/ without dp, different thoughts may pop up in your mind any second of the day without you realizing where it's coming from. you may get over intrusive thoughts when you know your self and when you have control on your thought patterns and emotions. Self-inquiry is fucking crazy. yes it's insanely painful to know your self and accept it fully. to accept the shadow in you. the coward. the hater. the shameful ... anything. to finally find out how your defensive mechanism fucked up your life and your perception where nothing else did. dive into your mind and let it out . write your thoughts. your emotions. figure out your life. intrusive thoughts are nothing but signs of inner turmoil. and they're not going to leave us until we pay them attention, find their roots and deal with them (basically diving into our thoughts and emotions) there are so many locked memories and behaviors saved up in your mind you're not even aware of.

some people say it's just anxiety . which is not. this nightmare has changed our total perception. it's a warning sign. it's not just anxiety.

i've seen people recover from this 100% just by forgetting about it. and guess what. they return here after months, years... because there are underlying issues which keep getting at them...

wish you get OUT OF IT soon!



Psychostein said:


> Fully recovered = being out of it fully not just symptom free.
> My apologies In advance.
> 
> Psychostein.


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## Psychostein (Nov 3, 2016)

I agree half and half, I've had a perfect life with great success both in my education and in the law industry. Prior to this condition I never experienced trauma but I have experienced great amount of stress from my demanding job which all humans experience. odd, meaningless, instrutive thoughts are directly linked with anxiety/ocd never underestimate the power of anxiety because it's a lethal motherfucker.. peoples underlying issues are related to trauma or they keep using hallucinogens that's why they keep returning back to the rabbit hole. The root is ANXIETY 
9/10 cases, once you treat your anxiety the thoughts vanish why?there is no point of them being there because your brain has simply returned back to its emotional base.
My mum is a psychotherapist she knows all about depersonalisation and has experienced it in her teens from Marijuana also she mad a full recovery in 2.5 years with no knowledge of what she had.

I'm currently in recovery mode, I'm stuck in my thoughts and by any means it's not easy. I was offered medications from doctors such as Klonopin/Xanax, I refused. I'm starting EMDR tomorrow with CBT treatment.

Good luck 
HeyLow.


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## Jjj123 (Jan 10, 2017)

Glad you recovered man. I saw some of your posts before. Love seeing when people get out of dp. This thing is totally beatable. It's temporary in its nature.

Your brain wants to go to it's normal state.


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