# Needing some advice



## Grublet (Jun 25, 2012)

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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

You begin by reminding yourself that you're no longer a helpless child (if you fear for your personal safety) and that they no longer physically fight (if you fear for theirs.) The reality of your family life has changed - your panic reaction is your mind stuck in the past, which doesn't exist - it's only a memory. Learn to calm your mind and you will be able to become a positive presence within the conflict.


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## Grublet (Jun 25, 2012)

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## Laurieta (Feb 24, 2013)

You are old enough to talk directly with them and to tell them what botters you. I am sure that they will understand. Everyone deserves good life and you are not required to deal with their problems.


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## Grublet (Jun 25, 2012)

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## NEEDMOREBLAZE (Apr 8, 2013)

You'll get there Grublet...can't imagine growing up in that type of environment. The world is a crazy place, but a person should always feel like they have a place to call home. Ages 7-14 are hard enough to deal with as a young person in this world,when your home is full of fighting and hostility a persons mind is NEVER at ease...just a ton of negative emotion gets built up and once there is too much of it, i think your mind just disconnects itself from the world because it has become too painful and hence you get de-personalized.

Situational anxiety and panic attacks are tricky, how did you feel when these arguments would happen?? If you were scared and felt hopeless like you couldn't do anything to escape, then those feelings will return every time you're around a similar situation. Our minds and bodies are freaking amazing, they adapt to our environments with repetition...you were traumatized by your parents arguments as a child and have never released those emotions, not sure how you can get them out - have you ever told your parents how their arguing made you feel??


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## Morgane.N (Feb 10, 2013)

Hi Grublet ,

I lived a similar situation , but my parents were not ill and just alcoholic sometimes , they were always fighting and insulting , and were not caring about what I felt about that . I lived the same feeling you describe : the impression to be responsible of my parents . To be their parent . My psychiatrist call it an incestuous relationship ( not incestuous literally , thanks God ! But incestuous in this case means that you have had a relation with your parents that is not "normal" , they and you had play a role that was not yours , you understand what I mean ? ) .

Depersonnalization could result from a kind of trauma and what you lived IS a trauma and emotional abuse .

I argued with my father and mother about it , but they do not realize how awful it was for me as a child : they say , It is normal ! We were passionate ! And my motehr said : but I wanted to leave your father but I did not for you ...

Don't worry Grublet , you seem young , me , I am 19 . We are at the age where were are building yourself .

You do not have to worry , you will not stay like this for the rest of your life .

My psychiatrist said something to me that puzzled me , he said : Let your body and mind the time to adjust .

You are growing up , these feelings are not dangerous and temporary .


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## Grublet (Jun 25, 2012)

very true thanks morgan! thats my name too by the way haha



NEEDMOREBLAZE said:


> You'll get there Grublet...can't imagine growing up in that type of environment. The world is a crazy place, but a person should always feel like they have a place to call home. Ages 7-14 are hard enough to deal with as a young person in this world,when your home is full of fighting and hostility a persons mind is NEVER at ease...just a ton of negative emotion gets built up and once there is too much of it, i think your mind just disconnects itself from the world because it has become too painful and hence you get de-personalized.
> 
> Situational anxiety and panic attacks are tricky, how did you feel when these arguments would happen?? If you were scared and felt hopeless like you couldn't do anything to escape, then those feelings will return every time you're around a similar situation. Our minds and bodies are freaking amazing, they adapt to our environments with repetition...you were traumatized by your parents arguments as a child and have never released those emotions, not sure how you can get them out - have you ever told your parents how their arguing made you feel??


you can message me if you want. your advice is helpful


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