# Hey Im Morgan...



## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

I've had DP/DR for a little over a year now, and I must say Im tired of living this way! I listen to rock for my escape from my condition, panic attacks aren't prevalent but they do happen and it manages to get in the way of my athletics. I play guitar, and I manage to maintain straight A's in AP and honor classes. Anybody have advice for me? Ill get depressed nights when I acknowledge that I have DP/DR and I cant even remember how feeling part of the world felt anymore. I feel alone. I've lost motivation before, cause whats the point of trying in school and life if I dont feel like Im part of it. I keep telling myself Ill get better, and Im a strong Christian. Even tho I feel like Im not real, I tell myself I am, and that lets me march through the day. So... Hey


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2014)

Hey Morgan, thanks for posting.

When did your symptoms start, what was the trigger?


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## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

Selig said:


> Hey Morgan, thanks for posting.
> 
> When did your symptoms start, what was the trigger?


They started back In early October last year. They faded for the majority of the morning the next day but came back and stayed later that morning. I still don't even know my trigger... I never used any substances like marijuana that would cause it. My parents are in the middle of a divorce, but I never really liked my dad or cared for him, so the traumatic event is ruled out. I also was never rly big on getting stressed out, so that couldnt have contributed to it either. :/


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2014)

NagromXIV said:


> They started back In early October last year. They faded for the majority of the morning the next day but came back and stayed later that morning. I still don't even know my trigger... I never used any substances like marijuana that would cause it. My parents are in the middle of a divorce, but I never really liked my dad or cared for him, so the traumatic event is ruled out. I also was never rly big on getting stressed out, so that couldnt have contributed to it either. :/


I wouldn't dismiss the idea of divorce or your relationship with your father as having no impact on the onset of your depersonalization. The effects of a divorce can be insidious, it took me years to realize my parents divorce had affected me at all.

Were your parents in the process of divorcing last October when it started? Have you been to a professional regarding depersonalization?


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2014)

Hey Morgan and welcome.. I hope it's ok to ask this.. but you said you don't like your dad or never cared for him. How come? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I completely understand.


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## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

Selig said:


> I wouldn't dismiss the idea of divorce or your relationship with your father as having no impact on the onset of your depersonalization. The effects of a divorce can be insidious, it took me years to realize my parents divorce had affected me at all.
> 
> Were your parents in the process of divorcing last October when it started? Have you been to a professional regarding depersonalization?


Yeah, theyve been in the process of it for like 3 years. Other people with similar scenarios havent developed dp/dr like I have though. Yes I have.


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## Veloso (Oct 19, 2014)

It is hard to believe that the divorce does not affect you anyway. 
It's strange too that you don't have feelings for your father...
I start suspecting that many DP/DR come from the lack of verbalization.


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## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

Zed said:


> Hey Morgan and welcome.. I hope it's ok to ask this.. but you said you don't like your dad or never cared for him. How come? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I completely understand.


No its fine. He's just horrible, hes cheated on my mom three times, he tried taking custody over us. He yells at us, I saw him about to beat my brother over something stupid (this was just one time, but its an image I cant just throw away) When ever hes around us he'll only be on his phone. He was always on the couch. When my brother was in the other room bleeding out through his leg cause of an accident, he said "hes fine" and continued to watch football. He never really tried communicating with me.Hes also Bipolar, but he cant use that as an excuse for everything hes done/does. He took money from our accounts and left us broke, if we didnt have a rich grandpa, we wouldve lost our house by now. He keyed our car just to see the shock on my moms face.


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## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

Veloso said:


> It is hard to believe that the divorce does not affect you anyway. It's strange too that you don't have feelings for your father... I start suspecting that many DP/DR come from the lack of verbalization.


DP/DR killed my emotions, Im no joke emotionly numb. My mom was in the hospital the other day and I didnt feel sorrow or pain, I just sat there faking fear and sadness for her. She had bilateral pneumonia and a ruptured appendix. I guess at one point I yearned for him to notice me, but Idc anymore.


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2014)

Two people can go through the same experiences and one may never experience depersonalization. Everyone is different.


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## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

Selig said:


> Two people can go through the same experiences and one may never experience depersonalization. Everyone is different.


Then the people who dont get it are lucky -_-


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## Veloso (Oct 19, 2014)

Morgan,

I see there are other facts that could supress your emotions...

DP, for instance, could be related to the model of identification, your father...

if his image loses investiment, your image will be compromised too.


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## NagromXIV (Mar 3, 2014)

Veloso said:


> Morgan,
> 
> I see there are other facts that could supress your emotions...
> 
> ...


So youre telling me I gotta find a way to love him?


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## Veloso (Oct 19, 2014)

NagromXIV said:


> So youre telling me I gotta find a way to love him?


You don't have to love in him the qualities that are bad, of course...


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## Veloso (Oct 19, 2014)

Selig said:


> Two people can go through the same experiences and one may never experience depersonalization. Everyone is different.


Maybe because some brains are more sensitive to psyche's traumas than others. Psychosomatic combines psyche's problems with somatic triggers...


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