# Hi, I'm glad I found my way here...



## Skylark (Sep 21, 2010)

Hello,
The first time I found this forum, I felt a sense of relief because I realized I'm not the only one feeling this way. It felt like shouting out into the mountains and finally getting an echo of hope back.

I was diagnosed with depression in the past but no one ever told me how to deal with this sense of disconnection that I had from the world. It just seemed like it was a symptom of depression that doctors didn't seem to focus on.

I'd like to describe some experiences I've had and I guess see if other people can relate. Also, after reading some threads on this forum, I feel like I have DP as opposed to DR, but would like some feedback on that as well. Thank you for any responses.

-I feel like I am watching myself live, as if I'm watching a movie, even though I am fully aware that I am in my own body
-At random times, I suddenly have this thought or sensation like "hey I exist" or "I'm living right now"
(sometimes I get this feeling right after I wake up in the morning, which is horrible and very disorienting)
-Sometimes during social situations I feel like I am too much in my head. Like when I am giving a presentation in class, I get a sense that "hey I'm giving a presentation right now. I am talking out loud right now". I have this feeling while I am talking normally and presenting information normally. This feels terrible because I feel I will lose control of myself and "give myself away".
-When I am talking to people, I sometimes feel like I'm focusing too much inside. I hear them talking and can respond appropriately, but I am too aware that we are talking and I am afraid that they can tell from my eyes that I'm "not really there"


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## lindsayloo (Jun 23, 2010)

I always get the sensation, or thought... hey I exist. im in my body functioning it. so very weird . trying to explain this to someone who does not suffer from dp is very hard, i think you have to experience it to truly understand. I experience this every day, some periods are better than others, so I know how you suffer. It does sound like its more dp than dr.. I get both and it seems like they switch off, some days everything feels unreal, made up some how, while other times my body feels odd to me, sometimes i cant even move, Im slowly working thru my recoery, veerryy slow process, but it is possible, good luck to you.


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## Kpanic (Sep 12, 2010)

Skylark said:


> Hello,
> The first time I found this forum, I felt a sense of relief because I realized I'm not the only one feeling this way. It felt like shouting out into the mountains and finally getting an echo of hope back.
> 
> I was diagnosed with depression in the past but no one ever told me how to deal with this sense of disconnection that I had from the world. It just seemed like it was a symptom of depression that doctors didn't seem to focus on.
> ...


Relax.. I have the same thing going on as you do, and probably more than half of us on here can associate with your feelings. Actually, if those are the only DP/DR feelings you have those are not that bad. Some of us can't even drive a car, others have such bad feelings that they can't even leave the house. Not playing yours down, but those are very normal feelings when you are living this crap. If yours comes from depression go to a therapist, sometimes that can help you. Other times you can try meds and see if they work. But have no fear, you are having very normal responses to this stuff.


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## jonboy123 (Jun 14, 2012)

I never thought that I would actually find others that had experienced feelings so similar to the ones I struggle with. I only came across the term 'Depersonalization' tonight, and so far all the symptoms people have described I can totally relate to. The bizarre thing is, I can pinpoint the very day that I started experiencing depersonalization. Can anyone else relate to this?


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