# what's that, mom? it's all big joke?



## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

my mom thinks that DP/DR is just a big hoax just so shinks can tell someone they're something, give them a bottle of pills and tell them to get out of their office.

she was a psychaitry minor in college, and she was like "i've never heard of anything so so stupid!" (dissociative disorders weren't discovered until after she graduated.) it really pissed me off. i don't it's really bothering me. i just needed to vent, i guess.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

i know what you mean. i often get quips from my family about how i should just "snap out of it" and one step-mother actually had the audacity to call me lazy during one of my more horrific spells. thankfully, my father divorced her and she's now miserably alone in her one bedroom apartment in the suburbs. Loser.

s.


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

When I was 9 years old, I started complaining about getting headaches and that Tynol wasn't doing anything anymore. So they talked the family theripist into giving me a perscription of surgar pills thinking that I was just trying to get attention (my dad had just gotten remarried at the time). I have had headaches that haven't gone away since I was 9 and now I am 23. I have not one day go by with out a headache. Of course the surgar pills didn't work but I just stoped complaining. ( I found out what the pills were about a year ago) I didn't tell any one about the way I was feeling with the DP (didn't know what it was then) so I lived a lie everyday telling everyone I felt fine. I was anorxitic for three years until I found out I was preganat (that made me start eating again) I still suffer from the headaches and now the DP. My family thinks I'm still trying to get attention. They don't believe that I have any thing wrong with me. My husband has Bipolar and ADHD and takes no meds for it. I take three different pills for depression and DP. But my step mom tells me that I should stop taking the pills because there is just nothing wrong with me. I could be lying on my death bed and my parents would say I'm faking it just to get attention. So I know exacally what you are going through. There are just some people out there that think people with any mental illness are just faking but when I become a pschologist...I'm gonna help out anyone (I will mainly be working with children so maybe their parents will listen to me)


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## JasonFar (Aug 13, 2004)

I think being invalidated by our parents is something that most of us dealt with long before any dissociative symptoms, unfortunately. I know that was certainly the case with me. Some folks just don't understand; I guess you can't really blame them, they just think a certain way. Now, if a seeming stranger or acquaintance or whatever thinks this way and then is bold enough -- like Sebastian's cruel stepmother :twisted: -- to call someone a name, or a vague, potentially demeaning behavior like "lazy", then you can blame them, though that doesn't really help matters. Still, it's nice to spite every once and a while.

Oh, and I love your icon pic Misty.


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## Guest (Nov 22, 2004)

sebastian said:


> i know what you mean. i often get quips from my family about how i should just "snap out of it" and one step-mother actually had the audacity to call me lazy during one of my more horrific spells. thankfully, my father divorced her and she's now miserably alone in her one bedroom apartment in the suburbs. Loser.
> 
> s.


Ha Ha.

My Aunt said that I went into DP for "control".
I still dont know what She means. It seems to imply that I'm empowered, or that it was a conscious decision...

I never get to say... No, I dont control ANYONE. It seemed to imply I tried to control my Mother by splitting off.

I hate when someone tells me MY opinion, and gets it wrong.

I never knew DP was a "control" mechanism...
I acted like ADHD, trippy, hallucinating and like I'd lost my mind... all those years ago. Complient ADHD. ADHD with complient behaviours. Hysteria, might be a better word.

Nayashi I can understand why your Mothers comments would be "impersonal" enough to induce DP/DR. I think it's moments where you truly recognise that you're a cog in a machine, who can blend into the surroundings and disappear. A moment where you realise that your head & heart dont matter. Where you truly feel like a stone slab.


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

it's not so much that it bothers me that my mom doesn't believe i have it, what bothers me is that she thinks it's just some made up disorder.

like ADD (that's what my mom says, too). but before i knew what DP was, i told her i felt "imaginary," that i felt like i was watching a movie of myself, and that i never felt alive. she always said "that's depression" but she doesn't take what i say entirely seriously. when i say all those things, i'm being completely literal about them. she thinks i say that i feel imaginary because i don't have many friends and it's like i don't really exsist because of that, but what i really mean is that i don't feel real. that's all there is to it. and i'm being completely literal about that, and she doesn't seem to understand that.

so she says that i have depression and that's that.


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## Guest (Nov 22, 2004)

> i'm being completely literal about that, and she doesn't seem to understand that.


It's not that she doesn't "Seem" to understand. She does not understand.

She never will.

It's awful and it's sad. And...it is not going to change.

She has her own reasons/defenses for not believing you and nothing you can do or say, or not do or not say is going to change her.

Be careful that you don't get too bogged down in TRYING to change her mind (the unchangeable) that you prolong your own recovery...

Work on yourself, healing yourself, on moving forward in life, on focusing outward as much as possible.

And while it is so sad she doesn't get it, give up entirely the delusion that she ever will.


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

thanks, janine. it's just that we've always been closer than any mother and daughter ever, and i wish she wouldn't make fun of me for saying i have DP, and making fun of my shrink(s) for saying that i do. i know she won't ever understand, but i wish she would just stop mocking me because of it.


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

When I told my step mom that I had DP she was like..well, it's just your depression, stop pretending you have something you don't. My real mom was like..I have never heard of that, it's just your way of dealing with your depression. I told my real mom that they just founded it and it was very new but she still was like..it's just your way of dealing with depression.
My friends and husband look at me like I'm nuts when the "attacks" happen. I try and explain that I'm not nuts...I promise!! But they just don't understand how bad it is when it hits. Expecally when it hits HARD!!! Why do people have to be so narrow minded?


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

Misty said:


> I told my real mom that they just founded it and it was very new but she still was like..it's just your way of dealing with depression.


when was it founded?

and that's exactly what happens with me.


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## Guest (Nov 23, 2004)

I feel like a robot. I think I have to change my name to a robot name. A new version of myself.

I consider a diagnosis of DP to be my way to point the finger at my Mother and insinuate abuse. My Mum always said I "clung to Her skirt". I can never see how Her perception of me correlates to reality. I think She WISHES I did. I mean, clinging to someone's skirt implies being ignored, craving attention, seeming lost and unprotected.
Bingo. She DID see straight. But Her version of "clung to my skirt" = cant cope, idiot, mad, loser, cant do anything and desperately afraid.
She twists things, and not having my NEEDS met was in Her hands, not mine.

I think I was born too soft. I'm on the junk heap now. I'm not good enough for anyone.

I see DP as being "Hypnotised" lately. A form of self-discipline. Like your contents of awareness are in a state of consciousness similar to Hypnosis which happens when you're awake and "restrained" (in a sense).

If hypnosis is possible, I'm sure a permanent state is also possible.

I think I went into shock to compensate for grief feelings. I think I'm hypnotised. I feel "real" but only in as much as I feel awake. Like now, daytime = Lights switched on.

I'm just sick of the panic.

People talk to me like I'm a tree trunk. I'm banal and puerile. I'm mad, but my head went blank FIRST. I cant believe a parent would treat their kid like a robot. Autism DOESN'T = Childhood Psychopathy... I have feelings.


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

If I can remember right, I think it was founded, well at least recconized in 1999 or 2000. We just learned about disorders in Psychology class. Although, in my book it says that Depersonalization is caused by a serious trama, like a bad car wreck, rape, death of a loved one...not me. Mine was totally stress. But I guess since it's so "new", they don't know much about it. I mean, yeah they might be doctors, but unless you are going through DP you don't really get it. You might say you "get it" but they don't. I don't think they know much about any Disassociate Disorders yet. Hopefully in time they will.


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

Misty-

we're just not important enough right now.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm taking Health 1000, just basic old freshman Health class (mine didn't transfer so I have to take it now). And I was reading the book the other day and came across the term "depersonalization". I was really shocked to see it and it was discussing it in relation to marijuana use mainly saying it can cause dp and defined it. So if my health book has the term in it then ALL people in the psychiatric profession should be familiar with it, but you know how people are. It pisses me off that rather than pick up a book or do a quick internet search, people would rather belittle you and tell you you're faking it and what you have "doesn't exist". :evil: If someone I loved or cared about had something that consumed this much of their life, I'd sure as hell try to get some information on it before discarding it as them being lazy or whiny. :x


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## Guest (Nov 24, 2004)

Misty said:


> If I can remember right, I think it was founded, well at least recconized in 1999 or 2000. We just learned about disorders in Psychology class. Although, in my book it says that Depersonalization is caused by a serious trama, like a bad car wreck, rape, death of a loved one...not me. Mine was totally stress. But I guess since it's so "new", they don't know much about it. I mean, yeah they might be doctors, but unless you are going through DP you don't really get it. You might say you "get it" but they don't. I don't think they know much about any Disassociate Disorders yet. Hopefully in time they will.





> Misty-
> 
> we're just not important enough right now.


IT'S *MY* FAULT. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I'm an idiot... I'm going to commit suicide...
 
I ruined Nayashi's post. I am an idiot.


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

ghost said:


> IT'S *MY* FAULT. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I'm an idiot... I'm going to commit suic***...
> 
> I ruined Nayashi's post. I am an idiot.


huh?


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

ghost, what are you talking about? you didn't ruin the post? You added your story...so how did that ruin the post. (actually I don't think you can ruin a post) Don't be so hard on yourself.


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## Guest (Nov 24, 2004)

nayashi said:


> ghost said:
> 
> 
> > IT'S *MY* FAULT. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I'm an idiot... I'm going to commit suic***...
> ...


  


> ghost, what are you talking about? you didn't ruin the post? You added your story...so how did that ruin the post. (actually I don't think you can ruin a post) Don't be so hard on yourself.


I CAN SO RUIN A POST


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

ok you're already getting annoying.

don't be so impatient to commit suicide, we're all going to die one day.

but don't threaten it on here for supposedly screwing something up that you can't even explain.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

also that self-pity self victimization and self guilt might have a lot to do with why you feel the way you do. look into it. maybe stop trying to throw a pity party.


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## Guest (Nov 25, 2004)

> ok you're already getting annoying.
> 
> don't be so impatient to commit suic***, we're all going to die one day.
> 
> but don't threaten it on here for supposedly screwing something up that you can't even explain.





> also that self-pity self victimization and self guilt might have a lot to do with why you feel the way you do. look into it. maybe stop trying to throw a pity party.


I pity you... you loser.

I'm sicker than anyone here... really.


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## Guest (Nov 25, 2004)

Okay, okay...chill a little here.

Person3 I love ya dearly, but Ghost is having a real rough time, and I think alot of Ghost's posts are very brave.

This is site for all kinds of folks with ALL kinds of dp states, and if sometimes some of us seem a little more lost than others, it's okay.

We've ALL been very deeply lost in our own madness - and we all can remember that horror easily.

Ghost: I think it's so interesting that you are quick to attack yourself (i.e., worrying that you "ruined" a post). It's one of the hardest things to overcome for someone whose mother/parent was as harsh as yours was. We end up treating ourselves as badly as that parent treated us. It takes time for us to stop doing that automatically.

You haven't ruined anything at all....but I respect your right to share that you THINK you did.

Peace,
Janine


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

sorry about that it just reminded me of people...in my family...that really annoy me...and ghost probably has different reasons for it, so I apologize for reading it the wrong way.


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## Guest (Nov 25, 2004)

person3 said:


> sorry about that it just reminded me of people...in my family...that really annoy me...and ghost probably has different reasons for it, so I apologize for reading it the wrong way.


It's my fault



> Okay, okay...chill a little here.
> 
> Person3 I love ya dearly, but Ghost is having a real rough time, and I think alot of Ghost's posts are very brave.
> 
> ...


 

You make me regress


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

ghost, you could never ruin my post, you're too pretty.


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

Don't know you that well Ghost, but i agree....you are to pretty to ruin a post. I think the things you say are very insightful and sometimes its exactaly how I feel thinking that no one felt that way. So keep talking and talking and talking....we want to hear it.


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## Guest (Nov 28, 2004)

> ghost, you could never ruin my post, you're too pretty.


Uh... "Pretty UGLY", you mean.
I luv yoo NAYASHII...  


> Don't know you that well Ghost, but i agree....you are to pretty to ruin a post. I think the things you say are very insightful and sometimes its exactly how I feel thinking that no one felt that way. So keep talking and talking and talking....we want to hear it.


I'm an emotional animal... my head is SNAPPED OFF, so ALL my words are generated by EMOTION. It's falling out EVERYWHERE... I've pushed my nervous system PAST MAXIMUM OVERLOADD...


You dont know me that well??? Huh... I'm plain, ordinary STUPID... and plain.
And... no-one "knows" me.


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## nayashi (Sep 4, 2004)

ghost said:


> Uh... "Pretty UGLY", you mean.
> I luv yoo NAYASHII...


I WUV YEW MORE.



> You dont know me that well??? Huh... I'm plain, ordinary STUPID... and plain.
> And... no-one "knows" me.


do i HAVE to beat you with a stick?


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2004)

nayashi said:


> > You dont know me that well??? Huh... I'm plain, ordinary STUPID... and plain.
> > And... no-one "knows" me.
> 
> 
> do i HAVE to beat you with a stick?


Why do you want to beat me with a stick?


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

AAAAAAAAAAANY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY :roll:

yes it would be sooooo much easier to have this if it caused one of our eyeballs to hang out of the socket.. or better yet caused our eyeballs to fuse together and wed become cyclopsisisisssss.

yea.. that would be dope. then maybe they would believe me. my psycholigist is the one who believes me. in fact... she thinks im alot more f#cked up than i do.

shes probably right.


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