# I keep thinking I'm in hell. I know it doesn't make sense, but still :(



## Ssammoh (Aug 11, 2012)

I posted a topic similar to this int he derealization forum, but

1) I'm starting to think that was the wrong section.
2) I didn't make my problems clear enough to whoever was reading it.

Recently I ate some gum that wasn't sweet. So I assumed it was poisoned. Then my mom ate some gum from the same packet to show me that any symptoms I have are just me panicking. The next day, I woke up and things felt...different. It didn't feel quite right.

1. I started assuming the worst of everything, and every time I didn't fully understand something I assumed something supernatural was going on or the devil was making weird things happen to drive me crazy as a form of mental torture.
2. Every time I have a little ache, pain or anything wrong I assume it's going to last forever.
3. My mom has an ulcer which hurts all the time and I keep thinking we went to hell together. I'm so scared you have no idea!!!
4. Sometimes I'm dizzy when I get up.
5. I missed church this week and last week. It's like I can't go or something.

Please tell me theres something I can do. I'm so scared! I've never been this scared in my life.


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## mkeshish (Nov 26, 2011)

I'm not sure if I can respond with anything overly helpful but I don't want you to feel alone and scared....

Are these thoughts and feelings you have a result of derealization? Is it that you don't feel yourself and outer bodyish that are developing into these thoughts? Or did you truly believe that gum was poisoned?

I often get paranoid ideas from dp/dr, but the thing is, i realize i am acting paranoid and therefore know that it probably isn't legitimate. I hope you aren't feeling so badly today! Have you talked to anyone about this?

love and best wishes!


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Katie-Ann said:


> I posted a topic similar to this int he derealization forum, but
> 
> 1) I'm starting to think that was the wrong section.
> 2) I didn't make my problems clear enough to whoever was reading it.
> ...


I'm really sorry that I'm not able to relate to that, probably because I never really believed in heaven/hell , but still I don't like to see people suffer and I always try to help them out, so here it goes

Are you on any sort of medication?
Medication is not an 'easy' recovery and it probably doesn't help anyone at all in the long term, but if you're under a lot of anxiety/panic like I was 2 years back with my extreme fear of death and existential angst, you should consider trying something out just to get your mind stable.

Have you been doing anything at all?
Exercise or any other kind of distraction, mainly exercise because it's good for your health and a pretty good distraction at the same time, can provide some relief from such thoughts


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## Ssammoh (Aug 11, 2012)

mkeshish said:


> I'm not sure if I can respond with anything overly helpful but I don't want you to feel alone and scared....
> 
> Are these thoughts and feelings you have a result of derealization? Is it that you don't feel yourself and outer bodyish that are developing into these thoughts? Or did you truly believe that gum was poisoned?
> 
> ...


I have talked to my mom about this.
First she told me that if I was in hell, I would not have access to a bible.
So I told her "Maybe it's not the real bible and the devil put a fake bible for me to read."
Then my mom told me that the devil doesn't want to hear God being praised, so he wouldn't let me read the bible.
So then I told her that maybe the devil doesn't actually care and she was wrong the whole time.

Then my mom told me that's just how the devil is. It's a basic part of being the devil in the first place. She also told me that God answered a lot of her prayers lately. Not having God with you is what hell is all about, so it's impossible for anything to go my way in hell. Some things go my way, so that means I'm not in hell. I know that's what I SHOULD think, but still.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

sounds like talking to a therapist could do a great deal to help you







You just need some help taking your thoughts and looking at them, stepping back from them etc


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## Ssammoh (Aug 11, 2012)

kate_edwin said:


> sounds like talking to a therapist could do a great deal to help you
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My mom thinks I will get locked up in a mental hospital


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## Tyley (Aug 5, 2012)

You and your mom are retarded.


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## shattered memories (Jul 19, 2012)

Ssammoh said:


> My mom thinks I will get locked up in a mental hospital


Not to sound rude, but that doesn't sound like a bad idea for you right now. I mean if its bothering you this much, a short term stay at a psych ward could only do you some good.


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## Laurieta (Feb 24, 2013)

I think it will be the bvest for you to talk to some specialist about this problems because he/she could help you more. Also I could tell you this that there is nothing to be scared about. Look the things from the bright side you have a mom who loves you very much, you have home and you are surounded from caring people. This are things that you have to thankful for and to think positive about the good things that are ahead


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## Lynxabc (Nov 28, 2012)

Maybe You're just obsessing?best to visit a therapist.
Don't worry, I once thought i was God .. I knew I wasnt but it was just an obsessive thought (btw if u wer in hell you would be suffering ( physically ) dont worry about it.


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## SheWontFollow (Apr 16, 2013)

It really sounds to me that you're just overly anxious. I'm kinda a hypochondriac, I've been my whole life. I remember before I got DP, one of my coworkers bought me a cup of coffee one day and I thought it tasted like copper. I was convinced I was poisoned as well. Everything escalated after that, a million thoughts ran through my head. You were frightened because the gum did not taste like you expected.


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## D'annie (Jul 24, 2013)

this is my version of what this has felt like...do you share some of these feelings? I made a video below


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