# Can't believe what i went through!



## weedDPeedMe (Dec 12, 2009)

Well after 2.5 months/3 months of going through hell and back I finally feel like I've had a solid 48 hours of being "back"! It feels awesome! What I have to tell you guys while the feeling is still fresh in my mind is that DP is Caused by anxiety, and from what my therapist said for those of you who say you feel it without the anxiety, well so did I! Basically the DP is covering up the Anxiety! So it is Obsessive thinking that you are feeling more so than the anxiety, which is directly causing it, the obsessive thinking is created by the worries of "feeling trapped in my own head" and all, WE ALL ARE, but the active thought of it is whats truly unusual, which causes more DP.

From what my therapist said is that if your DP came about from: Drug Use, Car Accident, War, or another traumatic event, than that DP is the Amygdala not turning back on, letting you feel "real" again. Basically the Amygdala is responsible for emotions, when it is shut off, you feel apathetic, but stress can signal the brain to KEEP it off, that's why I found that existential thinking, thinking about worries, and all made it worse, because it added anxiety and stress and told my emotional center to stay off because of it. I overcame my DP by realizing what I have IS TEMPORARY and as LONG AS I DON'T KEEP WORRYING ABOUT IT, it will ease up. I know I had a few "checking in" symptoms but I calmly told myself "that's alright, your doing better since you forgot about it for awhile, this is progress", and I would immerse myself in an activity. Its kind of like trying to see if your dreaming, if you keep checking in, then yes, you won't fall asleep, but if you just relax, and let go, it will come before you know it! And YES I did often question what is this life I am living? But I answered it with Its the life I've always been living, calm down. These symptoms are your flight or fight response gone wild! What this response was supposed to have you ask is "Where am I, where is the danger" But since there is NO danger, you've turned to other means of "releasing" the anxiety. I know the "fake" feelings of "everything feel weird/fake/unreal/foreign" all too well! But once you get a grip it usually gets better and better.

A visual representation that I drew out with my therapist was this:

Traumatic Event (Drug Use)---(1 week later)---> Panic Attack+Depersonalization----> Noticing the feeling the next morning---------> Constant DP, with and without anxiety

The best ways to overcome this is with these ingredients:

*||A break from Stress *Outside* (I know at times, outside and inside can feel like they merge, especially with DP, but intellectually you know what I am talking about)
*||Meditation
*||A therapist *EXTREMELY HELPFUL* 
*||A Notepad
*||Vitamins+ Omega3 Fish Oil *NOURISHMENT FOR MIND AND BODY*
*||A break from Stress *INSIDE* 
*||->Kava has some EXTREMELY helpful properties of giving you peace of MIND, once you feel the peace of mind you will see how anxiety is fueling your depressing thoughts!
*||->NO DRUGS, WEED, ALCOHOL, CIGARETTES/TOBACCO, HALLUCINOGENS, DEPRESSANTS, DELIRIANTS, DISSOCIATIVES (OBVIOUSLY)!
*||->Support from FRIENDS (No they will not feel "real" at first, I understand this!)
*||->SLEEP (SLEEP HELPS BRAIN FUNCTION AND HELPS TO MANAGE STRESS)

Now, none of these are going to feel real, and you may question them, BUT realize that this is NOT conducive to your goal of losing that questioning, ACTIVELY try to cut down on the questioning, TRY to challenge yourself to experience things, try to say "No, I will think about that later" when you get a distressing thought. THE WORST PART OF ANXIETY ISN'T THE ANXIETY ITSELF, BUT TRYING TO MAKE MEANING OF IT! Thats what got us ALL here in the first place.

My Guide to Using the Ingredients to get better!

1) Get plenty of sleep, Don't sleep in the afternoon's this is a sign of depression (which you may very well be going through right now!)
2) Take a vitamin every morning- make this a habit, a habit= familiarity, familiarity= less stressful than change.
3) Talk with friends, even if it feels fake. This helps to keep you from realizing that you are feeling less than normal, getting out and doing "normal" activities will make a day feel better.
4) If you feel anxious about your thoughts, try to put them aside, if you cannot write them down (A). 
5) See if you can find a therapist (preferred), Family member, or friend to talk about your problem with. Storing it in your head only makes it worse, once its out, its out.
6) TRY to realize that this is JUST anxiety. It may seem impossible, it may very well be impossible at the stage your in. But understand that your days in the past are the same as now w/o anxiety.
7) If YOU are DIAGNOSED with DPD, realize that this doesn't mean you've mentally damaged yourself, realize that like ANY DISORDER- its entirely achievable. I had chronic DP for 3 months, this is considered DPD, but YOU have to realize that ALL disorders are beatable, its a stress caused condition, and can be reversed, it just takes some time. 







Remember that your thoughts have been thought by most of us (probably) no matter how bizzare or irrationale they sound, THESE ARE ALL SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY, YOUR ANXIETY REACTION IS ONE OF THE STRONGEST BECAUSE IT IS A DEFENSE MECHANISM, it wasn't there to stop fluffy bunnies, it was there to save you if a Coyote wanted to kill you, so obviously its not going to be a mild reaction.
9) Realize that this Depersonalization/Derealization/Feelings of Unreality feel like its the truth for 3 main reasons.
1- Anxiety is a defense mechanism- its not there to doubt itself, its there to save you, but when it goes wrong, it makes thoughts seem plausible no matter how absurd.
2- Your emotions make up a larger part of our reality, without them, things ARE just sounds and colors, but emotional coloring brings a different dimension to things.
3- Depression causes apathy, without emotions things feel different, your feeling that difference.

A) Things to write about in your journal regarding Anxiety
1- WITHOUT GOING INTO TOO OBSESSIVE THINKING, WHAT causes your thought?
2- Is the thought happy or sad? Positive or Negative? 
3- Do you feel like this thought is true?
4- DOES IT FIT ANY SYMPTOM of anxiety?
5- How has your anxiety been today?
6- In comparison, how has it improved/worsened?
7- 5 things your happy about today

Some resources To help you:

1. http://www.panic-and-anxiety-attacks.com/intrusive-thoughts/ *Intrusive Thoughts*
2. http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml *Symptoms of Anxiety* JUST TO SHOW YOU THAT THIS IS ANXIETY!
3. http://www.ehow.com/how_4574767_deal-obsessive-thinking.html *Obsessive thinking*
4. http://www.dpmanual.com/ *This helped me a bit*
5. http://www.successconsciousness.com/index_000009.htm *This HELPED ME ALOT*
6. http://www.anxietypanic.com/understanding.html *Understanding Panic Attacks*

I hope this helps you people out, I really tried to make my guide the one I wish I had had when I was going through this. Please comment and Let me know how you people are doing. I care for all of you!


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## guest123 (Dec 2, 2009)

Good post, except I would be careful about recommending Kava-kava..a lot of the supplements available contain the stem and leaves which have been known to cause liver problems - when really it is purely the root that should be used - just be careful when buying that you are positive about what is in it. Also it's illegal in the UK, France, Switzerland and Holland/Netherlands (which considering the legal status of cannabis there, does ring the old alarm bells somewhat)

Personally I found I just didn't have the concentration to meditate. Some I know found the introspection made them feel worse. Everyone is different in what makes them feel better I guess. I tried therapists but just found they were trying to make out it was my parents fault (seriously) or they just didn't get it. My friends and family were much more helpful but again it's subjective and depends what is going on underneath the DP as well.



> 7) If YOU are DIAGNOSED with DPD, realize that this doesn't mean you've mentally damaged yourself, realize that like ANY DISORDER- its entirely achievable. I had chronic DP for 3 months, this is considered DPD, but YOU have to realize that ALL disorders are beatable, its a stress caused condition, and can be reversed, it just takes some time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Absolutely agree with all this. I've beaten it after 4 years, only after I made myself go out and do stuff no matter how bad I felt though, instead of hiding in bed.


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## weedDPeedMe (Dec 12, 2009)

guest123 said:


> Good post, except I would be careful about recommending Kava-kava..a lot of the supplements available contain the stem and leaves which have been known to cause liver problems - when really it is purely the root that should be used - just be careful when buying that you are positive about what is in it. Also it's illegal in the UK, France, Switzerland and Holland/Netherlands (which considering the legal status of cannabis there, does ring the old alarm bells somewhat)
> 
> Personally I found I just didn't have the concentration to meditate. Some I know found the introspection made them feel worse. Everyone is different in what makes them feel better I guess. I tried therapists but just found they were trying to make out it was my parents fault (seriously) or they just didn't get it. My friends and family were much more helpful but again it's subjective and depends what is going on underneath the DP as well.
> 
> Absolutely agree with all this. I've beaten it after 4 years, only after I made myself go out and do stuff no matter how bad I felt though, instead of hiding in bed.


Then use L-Theanine, Insitol, or Choline, be careful with 5HTP and antidepressants, serotonin syndrome doesn't sound fun...


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR POST!!!

I agree with every word that you said. I have been doing some meditation, clearing my mind, focusing my vision, and honestly, its crazy to see the slight transitions in perception from unreality to reality. its so surreal. Who would have thought the mind was so powerful?

All the best to you, Continue enjoying life!!!

Cheers to Bigger Better Things!!!!!!


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## guest123 (Dec 2, 2009)

weedDPeedMe said:


> Then use L-Theanine, Insitol, or Choline, be careful with 5HTP and antidepressants, serotonin syndrome doesn't sound fun...


You misunderstand. I already recovered










It's more a case of 'DO NOT TAKE 5HTP ALONGSIDE ANTI DEPRESSANTS OR OTHER SEROTONIN BOOSTING SUBSTANCES EVER EVER EVER' than just 'be careful', for the record.....do NOT mess around with that combo....

I've been taking L-theanine for about 8 months. Ahhh the wonder substance. No adverse effects ever reported in over 50 years of it being used outside of tea (i.e. as a supplement/standalone)

And I drink a LOT of tea too









Not so convinced on Choline though. It's a precursor to acetylcholine which is an excitatory neurotransmittor. I think DP people need less stimulation, so probably better to stimulate dopamine/GABA (which theanine does) - if you start stimulating the excitatory ones too your poor old brain is going to wind up even more confused I reckon.


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