# Anybody in college?



## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

Hey, haven't been here in a while. I'd like to be able to form some kind of support with other people here that have dp and are dealing with college life and the stress of deadlines. What helps? What doesn't? For me, I have a really hard time with writing papers. Nearly everything else I am able to do. I am able to have meaningful relationships, read for class, attend class, do extracurricular activities, manage my time, make to do lists, etc. But for some reason, I have a block every time I try to write. I'm almost certain it is related to the brain fog I feel at a constant pace, it's just that other activities are easier to deal with brain fog. Then, I start stressing that I cannot think properly and wont reach my deadline on time and I start to dissociate. Once I am dissociated, I find it hard to get back to my normal level of chronic dp and I am functioning well below what I usually can. It usually takes me at least a week (sometimes much longer) to start feeling back to a level where I can participate in the world again after I have these episodes and by then I am way behind in school. Right now, I find Adderall to be helpful with the brain fog but I absolutely detest the drug, really. Right now, I know it's my best option. I can't just not do my schoolwork. But I was hoping there were other people in a similar situation that could share their thoughts here. By the way, the only reason I'm able to write this is because I'm currently taking Adderall.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

peachy said:


> Hey, haven't been here in a while. I'd like to be able to form some kind of support with other people here that have dp and are dealing with college life and the stress of deadlines. What helps? What doesn't? For me, I have a really hard time with writing papers. Nearly everything else I am able to do. I am able to have meaningful relationships, read for class, attend class, do extracurricular activities, manage my time, make to do lists, etc. But for some reason, I have a block every time I try to write. I'm almost certain it is related to the brain fog I feel at a constant pace, it's just that other activities are easier to deal with brain fog. Then, I start stressing that I cannot think properly and wont reach my deadline on time and I start to dissociate. Once I am dissociated, I find it hard to get back to my normal level of chronic dp and I am functioning well below what I usually can. It usually takes me at least a week (sometimes much longer) to start feeling back to a level where I can participate in the world again after I have these episodes and by then I am way behind in school. Right now, I find Adderall to be helpful with the brain fog but I absolutely detest the drug, really. Right now, I know it's my best option. I can't just not do my schoolwork. But I was hoping there were other people in a similar situation that could share their thoughts here. By the way, the only reason I'm able to write this is because I'm currently taking Adderall.


I'm not currently attending college although I should be, so I really commend you for attending especially while dealing with dp/dr/dissociation on the side. i had a question. What form of Adderall are you taking? Regular Adderall or Adderall XR? I didn't have much luck with Adderall XR (it made me depressed and lethargic), so I'm curious as to which brand you are benefiting from. Thanks in advance.


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## pigandpepper (Sep 26, 2010)

I'm in college, and I'm barely managing. I have panic attacks that keep me up all night and leave me physically incapable of attending class the next day. I write papers at the last minute because the only way I can actually focus on writing anything is when I'm under the pressure of a time constraint. My absences are gonna start affecting my progress soon, even though they're all technically excused. The worst part is, I have issues that stem from not having had a real childhood, and now every little thing just feels like an enormous responsibility that I can't get away from. I went home last week and tried to convince my dad to have me hospitalized, at least temporarily, because of the panic attacks, and so that I can take time to myself, to not have to do anything, and just focus on recover, but he's afraid that if I go to hospital I'll be labeled the rest of my life. My panic attacks used to be under control and would maybe happen once a month, but now I find myself anxious every day that I seem to be wasting my life, since I can't experience anything fully with DP. 
So, basically, I feel you. Not to mention DP is slowly turning me into a social outcast, and for some reason it's making it so that I get really easily over-stimulated and anxious by lights and noises so I don't go out as much as I used to. College was supposed to be fun.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

I start my 4 (and last)year in the uni next week. I can't believe I managed to get to the 4 year. It was terribly hard. I'm scared so much to start this new year. It's gonna be so hard. The hardest part for me are the clinics (I study Optometry) which is a large and important part of my learning lol


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## Kayla (Jun 24, 2010)

*shrug* I don't have any problem in college and I think the DP actually helps
I just kind of mindlessly take in everything going on, mindlessly do my work, and it feels very effortless 
I still procrastinate like a bastard though, I think 'cause my perseption of time is so messed up - but it hasn't been a problem yet 
My biggest problem is probably the fact I never do my work outside of school or study
But since I'm at school ALL DAY twice a week (and have no means of leaving from 6am to 10pm), I tend to get almost all my work done right away

I dunno









side note-

I've only had 3 panic attacks so far and they've had nothing to do with the school at all
I'm so detatched from my enviroment that I'm pretty apathetic to it all


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## Ivan Hawk (Jan 22, 2010)

Kayla said:


> *shrug* I don't have any problem in college and I think the DP actually helps
> I just kind of mindlessly take in everything going on, mindlessly do my work, and it feels very effortless
> I still procrastinate like a bastard though, I think 'cause my perception of time is so messed up - but it hasn't been a problem yet
> My biggest problem is probably the fact I never do my work outside of school or study
> But since I'm at school ALL DAY twice a week (and have no means of leaving from 6am to 10pm), I tend to get almost all my work done right away


Same here, I procrastinate like crazy, but I always get things done too so I don't worry about it that much. Often times, I feel like I have to channel a certain kind of energy to write essays and it doesn't typically appear until time is of the essence. I often feel like I spend too much time writing - constantly analyzing every sentence very deeply - but it's certainly worth it in the end. The effortless automation behind completing the work is also true for me, the same way water flows with gravity.

By the way, peachy and insaticiable's avatars appear to have quite the creative resemblance in my opinion.


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## Minerva8979 (Jan 30, 2010)

peachy said:


> But for some reason, I have a block every time I try to write. I'm almost certain it is related to the brain fog I feel at a constant pace, it's just that other activities are easier to deal with brain fog. Then, I start stressing that I cannot think properly and wont reach my deadline on time and I start to dissociate. Once I am dissociated, I find it hard to get back to my normal level of chronic dp and I am functioning well below what I usually can. It usually takes me at least a week (sometimes much longer) to start feeling back to a level where I can participate in the world again after I have these episodes and by then I am way behind in school. Right now, I find Adderall to be helpful


I'm in the same boat,dude. Brain fog is a cognitive retardation!! Its so difficult for me to think, literally just to form thoughts. I'm sure many of you can relate.

Adderall did help, the time that I took it. Which I was surprised by.But too much and I'm tweeked.lol So less is more, so to speak.

Currently I'm finishing my last semester of my Associate's degree in Liberal arts at a small Comm college. It's modest but quiet, pastoral, and easy-paced. I think a lot of you would like the space actually, it's easy on the DP/DR. My classes aren't challenging but I do have an incredibly hard time with math and writing papers.

But I feel like I'm getting a bogus degree that will only help employers look at my application 10 seconds longer. I have no idea what I am going to do. I'm so intimidated and the brain fog has a tangible weight; a tangible block.

So are you guys sure of what you're studying and the fruits of your labor?


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## weird_artist (Oct 1, 2010)

Im doing a distance course. I survived 2 years at university but it just got too much. The university was over 10miles away, including a ferry ride and traveling is one of my triggers for dp so doing a distance course seems to be working better (so far!) I am about half a week ahead of my work, but if I keep up I hope it will make up for when I have a down time (I can feel one coming on, for a couple of weeks now). Im doing a mix or courses, this one is children's literature (analysis), then I have 2 more starting in Feb, Design&designing and 20th Century Art. Those two finish in October '11, and this one finishes in June '11, so hopefully will have finished my degree by this time next year! Then I can go on to do a teaching certificate, and (hopefully!) teach Textiles, or cookery!

I found 'normal' uni too hard, but thats not to say its impossible, and in many ways I'm glad I struggled on for as long as I did. I know I can get well enough to hold down a teaching job, and I'm pretty sure I will manage it in time. Good luck to everybody studying, its hard but it is worth it.. I don't know how useful your degree is, but I'm sure it will give you a better start that nothing, and at least you can say "I have proved I can work hard and keep up with others, even though I have extra hurdles to jump".


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

ive just enrolled this year. I just dont know what to do about it. At the risk of sounding like a bighead, ive always been really good at acadmeics, its something i wanted to do with my life, work within the field im studying. I literally cannot read books, nothing is going into my head, i cant absorb information like i used to, apart from the terrible panic attacks, im getting like black dots floating across my eyes everytime i read. I just dont believe how fucked this has made my life. I dunno what im gonna do now. Since this has happened the symptoms have got worse. Im starting to think there is something wrong inside my head. Im getting horrendous nightmares now, like i dunno when im awake or asleep and they are really fucked up. Its all just getting to be too much,


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