# Almost there now



## Chris P Bacon (May 31, 2011)

I know some of you will probably think that there is no point in me posting this because I am not quite over my dp/dr yet but let me tell you that I am 99% back to my old self now and the dp/dr is so weak that it has really lost its power over me, I really do not fear it anymore. It gets weaker by the day.

I'm about a week short of the day I first got myself into this state, the start of February 2011 was certainly the most traumatic time in my short life. I had only just turned 19 and yet I felt like I couldn't carry on when dp/dr interrupted my life!

Truth be told, I have suffered with anxiety since I was 16. I first started suffering with anxiety in February 2008, and whilst I would experience mild dp/dr in the lead up to a panic attack, it never lingered, and it never lingered because I never allowed it to linger. I never focussed on it because I was so anxious about my health, so I focussed on worrying about my eyes etc.. and not the dp.

I recovered from my anxiety by October 2008 and led a normal and happy life once more until just over two years later, December 2010 when I noticed that I was starting to worry about my health again.

I continued to have bad anxiety for another couple of months, I repressed my emotions and bottled my feelings up, not something I'd recommend! It took one hell of a toll on my mind and body and then one day at College almost exactly a year ago, I remember talking to my friend and all of a sudden I just zoned out... nothing felt real, however, instead of just ignoring it like I usually did, I started to focus on this strange feeling. "Why am I feeling this way? What if it never goes away? My life is over and I'm still a teenager". Basically, my brain now viewed this feeling of being unreal and detached as a big threat to my life and as a result, I became locked in the intense cycle of fear that currently grips the vast majority of people who use this forum!

Those first two or three months of dp were hell on earth, I would wake up in the morning and before I had even got out of bed I would start thinking and worrying about the dp. Not realizing that by doing so I was keeping myself locked into this condition. I don't think we as humans realize just how powerful our thoughts can be, being able to think is what makes us so unique and special and whilst it is a great ability for us to have, once those thoughts develop into a negative habit it can lead to a world of shit.

And I mean it when I say that I would not wish this on my worst enemy, it is a mental torture, give me physical pain any day of the week, I know what you're all going through.

So yeah, after about 2 months of dp I started to notice that my vision was going funny and that there were loads of little white dots everywhere I looked, although I didn't really notice them when looking at lighter colours, when I was looking at the colour black or when it was dark it became extremely hard for me to see properly. This lead to even more anxiety for me! Thus pushing me further and further into dp/dr.

I remained in that hell for a good 5-6 months before I finally started to notice a little bit of an improvement, it wasn't much but I knew I had started to get used to the dp in about August 2011. I didn't spend my every waking moment thinking about it and whilst it did still terrify me, I realised how much better I felt when it wasn't on my mind... and herein lies the power of distraction.

I tried to keep my mind occupied as much as possible, anything to take this horrible feeling of suffering away. In October I managed to get myself a job, for those 8 hours a day I had to fully concentrate on my work, that was 8 hours a day of not thinking about dp, and let me tell you that whilst work sucked I will be forever grateful for just being able to forget about my problems.

I got laid-off from work before Xmas but I notice how much I had improved in that short space of time, before long I started to challenge my negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Whenever I thought "what if I'm like this forever?" I would counter it with "no, this is just temporary and I WILL get back to my old self". I would recommend everyone to try this and keep doing it every time you get a negative thought, you will be surprised at how good it can make you feel! This is the key to recovery, its all to do with getting out of that negative thought pattern and replacing those horrible thoughts with positive ones.

So yeah thats it basically! I wish everyone the best of luck for the future, one thing that really helped me was not coming onto this forum, and what I mean by that is that there is just so much damn negativity on here, it can truly terrify you when people go on about having this for lord knows how many years. You have to focus on what is going to get you better. Believe me when I say I have had every symptom this horrible condition has to offer, from the terrifying thoughts about existence to numb toes and visual snow in my eyes.

I get up in the morning now and the feeling of dp is so weak that it is no longer the first thought comes into my mind, my day is usually well underway before I every remember that I have dp, and even then I just dismiss it as if it were nothing. I'm feeling tonnes better and I think I have really become a better person for going through what I have done.

Have faith and know, just know that this is temporary and you will be a better person for it.

Sorry for the long post.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

For some it's temporary, and seriously, that's great


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## Chris P Bacon (May 31, 2011)

kate_edwin said:


> For some it's temporary, and seriously, that's great


You don't blieve yours is temporary?


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

not in the it'll be gone next year sense. mine's from childhood trauma, it's going to be several more years at the least.. it's already been 5 or 6, that doesn't seem temporary to me....maybe it's just me


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## Chris P Bacon (May 31, 2011)

kate_edwin said:


> not in the it'll be gone next year sense. mine's from childhood trauma, it's going to be several more years at the least.. it's already been 5 or 6, that doesn't seem temporary to me....maybe it's just me


Ahh okay, yeah it seems folks who suffered trauma as kids do seem to have this longer. I'm "fortunate" that mine was the result of an anxiety disorder which I'm still trying to learn to live with.

It sucks that I have been dealt this hand by life and I've only just turned 20.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Chris P Bacon said:


> I know some of you will probably think that there is no point in me posting this because I am not quite over my dp/dr yet but let me tell you that I am 99% back to my old self now and the dp/dr is so weak that it has really lost its power over me, I really do not fear it anymore. It gets weaker by the day.
> 
> I'm about a week short of the day I first got myself into this state, the start of February 2011 was certainly the most traumatic time in my short life. I had only just turned 19 and yet I felt like I couldn't carry on when dp/dr interrupted my life!
> 
> ...


I love this. It is great advice and is how I have recovered significantly as well. Thanks for posting!


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

DOES LIFE FEEL NORMAL FOR YOU AGAIN? LIKE I FEEL LIKE ITS PURPOSE WILL NEVER COME BAK. IM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS AT EVERY WEAKING MOMENT. THE VISUAL STUFF WENT AWAY BUT IM SOO EMOTIONAL.. NOT NUMB ANYMORE.. JUST TERRIFIED ABOUT EXISTENCE!







MY OWN EXISTENCE AND EVERYTHING ELSE... ITS MIND BOGGLING


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## Chris P Bacon (May 31, 2011)

katiej said:


> DOES LIFE FEEL NORMAL FOR YOU AGAIN? LIKE I FEEL LIKE ITS PURPOSE WILL NEVER COME BAK. IM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS AT EVERY WEAKING MOMENT. THE VISUAL STUFF WENT AWAY BUT IM SOO EMOTIONAL.. NOT NUMB ANYMORE.. JUST TERRIFIED ABOUT EXISTENCE!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


On my good days where I don't even really notice the dp I feel so normal, its as if I never even had this. Those thoughts about existence are perfectly normal in the circumstances and although they are scary (trust me when I say I have been there) they will get less and less constant over time as you start to move forward.

Have a read of this article, it helped me a lot.


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