# How many of you can actually FEEL things



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

I've noticed a lot of posts here talking about how someone feels like this or that, and have been curious if there's a lot of you who feel like i do: Nothingness. I wish there was a time in the last 3yrs with this disorder that I actually felt either up or down. Instead its always emotionless. For example: I nearly got ran into the other day driving into work by some idiot and neither during nor after did I experience any type of feelings such as: Anger, stress, anxiety, relief......The whole thing felt like it never happened. There is never any change in my mood its always the same: flat. I'm just wondering how many of you can relate to this because I find THIS to be the most frustrating part of this whole experience. I'm surprised there aren't more posts relating to this horrible symptom of DP. What is the point of life if you're unable to FEEL and ENJOY things.


----------



## Aya (Oct 11, 2010)

It sounds to me that your emotions are being suppressed; which means, you're emotions are being bottled up inside of you. Sometimes I have a difficult time releasing/venting my emotions. Sometimes I feel locked-in, so to speak. Anyone who has suppressed thoughts or emotions is going to crack one way or another. And it could be that an overload of thought life may be clouding your mind (DEREALIZATION). Isolation is the trap that you want to stay clear away from. Don't let anything like Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) prevent you from getting out there. Don't be afraid of the world, or paranoid. If you are bombarded by paranoid thoughts, such as constantly feeling uncomfortable vibes off other people, then try to rationalize how you are feeling. Say to yourself, "Can this really be thoughts I'm feeling off other people? Are they even thinking about?"--if your mind feels foggy or heavy, and if you feel like your countenance is dropping (either depressed-like or frustrated-like) splash your face with cold water, it really helps wake up your brain a little. Just try not to think too much, because it could be that you know too much inside, and it's difficult to vent-out thoughts that are so in depth. Try to channel your mind on things that bring peace to your soul. Get into some healthy reading, painting, drawing... get into a movie series... collect something, drink lots of herbal teas, (green, ti quien ying, etc.) exercise, seek out a relationship with Jesus Christ if you have any faith in God at all... find purpose and meaning in life. Don't let people bring you down, don't give into negative thinking. Think moderately--screw philosophical thinking and looking at the world psychologically, it'll just warp your brain. Look at people in love, with care and sympathy for whatever struggles they are going through. Love people more than you love yourself, without hating yourself. You'll be okay! Just create a mind set that doesn't sweat the small stuff.


----------



## BusyBee (Aug 7, 2010)

ramza04 said:


> I've noticed a lot of posts here talking about how someone feels like this or that, and have been curious if there's a lot of you who feel like i do: Nothingness. I wish there was a time in the last 3yrs with this disorder that I actually felt either up or down. Instead its always emotionless. For example: I nearly got ran into the other day driving into work by some idiot and neither during nor after did I experience any type of feelings such as: Anger, stress, anxiety, relief......The whole thing felt like it never happened. There is never any change in my mood its always the same: flat. I'm just wondering how many of you can relate to this because I find THIS to be the most frustrating part of this whole experience. I'm surprised there aren't more posts relating to this horrible symptom of DP. What is the point of life if you're unable to FEEL and ENJOY things.


I would not let my therapist tell me that my DP had anything to do with MY emotions, My mind, MY phyce. Only because of the sheer fact that my DP came on with illness, suddenly, at a point in my life that I felt invincible, I belive that it is physical/chemical, and it is that that is controlling my symptoms and strange thought patterns, not the other way around. Emotional void is a symptom of DP, I had it when my DP first came on. Within a space of three weeks, I got very ill, my boss went sick and i was plunged into full time management position, my boyfriend of two years left me and never spoke to me again, i had a a brain scan, heart scan, neck scan, was banned from driving, and couldnt so much as shed a tear.

My symptoms alter from month to month. I find that i cant enjoy life because it does not feel as if either i am here or that it is real.

You are not alone.


----------



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

Thanks for the replies. Yeah I have a lot of things I try to do to get my mind off this such as exercise, taking trips (sometimes makes it worse), eating healthier, etc but nothing seems to take it away. It seems to me like it actually is more physical/chemical than just changing your way of thinking. My DP/DR was onset from depression/anxiety. Had a very bad relationship with someone that ended very badly and I just couldn't cope with the loss and ended up full on DP with severe emotional numbness. So you may be right that I have bottled up emotion that i just can't seem to let go or release from and my mind is blocking out EVERYTHING. I thought that this would have gone away by now because my life, as much as i can tell, has been great. I'm happily married, had a kid, got a good job and yet after all this goodness in my life I'm still numb. I feel like my brain is unable to re-balance itself to the way it was. Its like all the stress and pain I felt flipped a switch and its unable to be turned back. Maybe subconsciously the pain is still lingering around in there and I'm not aware of it so my mind stays in defense mode.


----------



## Dyna (May 13, 2010)

bee1 said:


> I would not let my therapist tell me that my DP had anything to do with MY emotions, My mind, MY phyce. Only because of the sheer fact that my DP came on with illness, suddenly, at a point in my life that I felt invincible, I belive that it is physical/chemical, and it is that that is controlling my symptoms and strange thought patterns, not the other way around. Emotional void is a symptom of DP, I had it when my DP first came on. Within a space of three weeks, I got very ill, my boss went sick and i was plunged into full time management position, my boyfriend of two years left me and never spoke to me again, i had a a brain scan, heart scan, neck scan, was banned from driving, and couldnt so much as shed a tear.
> 
> My symptoms alter from month to month. I find that i cant enjoy life because it does not feel as if either i am here or that it is real.
> 
> You are not alone.


Hi Bee!. You say thatr your DP came on at a time when youy wer einvicible adn that you believe it is purely a physical/chemical thing, but then you also say that ' my boss went sick and i was plunged into full time management position, my boyfriend of two years left me and never spoke to me again'. Do you think the stress of these things made have been the reason you DP came about? Just curious as ihave DP for a very long time. I live my life as busily as I can. I often believe there is something physical worng with me, even though like you IO have had many medical investigations and I appear to be super healthy. What do you think is wrong with you? Take care, Dyna


----------



## Opus131 (Mar 23, 2010)

Aya said:


> It sounds to me that your emotions are being suppressed; which means, you're emotions are being bottled up inside of you.


I really don't like those type of replies. This is not a psychological problem, its a real question of the brain not functioning right. I think i already recounted my experience with driving in the middle of a car procession for a funeral, and not realizing what i was doing or even being able to recognize or "feel" the concept of what a funeral in the first place. Nothing made sense, or felt like anything. The cop that pulled me over chewed me out for almost 15 minutes straight but i still couldn't feel it. It was only later, when my DP lifted a bit, that i realized what i had just went through.


----------



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

> I really don't like those type of replies. This is not a psychological problem, its a real question of the brain not functioning right. I think i already recounted my experience with driving in the middle of a car procession for a funeral, and not realizing what i was doing or even being able to recognize or "feel" the concept of what a funeral in the first place. Nothing made sense, or felt like anything. The cop that pulled me over chewed me out for almost 15 minutes straight but i still couldn't feel it. It was only later, when my DP lifted a bit, that i realized what i had just went through.


Yeah I'm definitely sure this is a physical/chemical problem. My life and everything happening since the break-up has been absolutely positive. I couldn't ask for a better life right now. I have an amazing Wife, 2 beautiful kids, and a pretty decent job. Yet even though i "realize" all of this I cannot FEEL emotion towards any of it. No happiness, joy, excitement, anything. Everything is just blunted. I should mention that most if not all other DP related symptoms are gone. This is the only symptom that remains and, in my opinion, its the worst. I was prescribed Zoloft for treatment of depression/anxiety and it worked like magic for my DP/DR. After a year and a half I tapered off the drug and I'm left this way. The world around me feels real and I have no feeling of being outside my body anymore but the numbness of emotions still makes me feel somewhat detached and disconnected to people and objects. I used to get pretty bad anxiety and now I have zero. Things like job interviews, speeches, meeting new people, doing new things, all used to give me anxiety at different levels. Now no matter what it is, i feel nothing. On the other hand I've been able to do things that I never thought I would ever do because of fear and anxiety that I had that was preventing me. In a way i guess you could say there's benefits to this, and I've found there are, but I'd rather feel what I'm going through then being blunted. Its hard to determine if you've made the right decisions in life because half of judgmental calls are based off emotion.

I've been looking towards supplements in hopes of recovery. I've since started on: DHEA 50MG 1/day, CoQ10 1/day, Fish Oil 2/day, Lethicin 1/day, Vitamin b12 & b6, multivitamin. Its been about 2 weeks in and I have actually noticed I feel a little different. Not recovered but just different. I feel a little lifted now.

Anways thanks for the responses and looking forward to more replies!

Status: Numb


----------



## razer777 (Jun 28, 2010)

ramza04 said:


> Yeah I'm definitely sure this is a physical/chemical problem. My life and everything happening since the break-up has been absolutely positive. I couldn't ask for a better life right now. I have an amazing Wife, 2 beautiful kids, and a pretty decent job. Yet even though i "realize" all of this I cannot FEEL emotion towards any of it. No happiness, joy, excitement, anything. Everything is just blunted. I should mention that most if not all other DP related symptoms are gone. This is the only symptom that remains and, in my opinion, its the worst. I was prescribed Zoloft for treatment of depression/anxiety and it worked like magic for my DP/DR. After a year and a half I tapered off the drug and I'm left this way. The world around me feels real and I have no feeling of being outside my body anymore but the numbness of emotions still makes me feel somewhat detached and disconnected to people and objects. I used to get pretty bad anxiety and now I have zero. Things like job interviews, speeches, meeting new people, doing new things, all used to give me anxiety at different levels. Now no matter what it is, i feel nothing. On the other hand I've been able to do things that I never thought I would ever do because of fear and anxiety that I had that was preventing me. In a way i guess you could say there's benefits to this, and I've found there are, but I'd rather feel what I'm going through then being blunted. Its hard to determine if you've made the right decisions in life because half of judgmental calls are based off emotion.
> 
> I've been looking towards supplements in hopes of recovery. I've since started on: DHEA 50MG 1/day, CoQ10 1/day, Fish Oil 2/day, Lethicin 1/day, Vitamin b12 & b6, multivitamin. Its been about 2 weeks in and I have actually noticed I feel a little different. Not recovered but just different. I feel a little lifted now.
> 
> ...


Sounds like you went through what is known as thymoanesthesia. Its a common side-effect of long term antidepressant use (with the possible exception of wellbutrin, which can possibly reverse these feelings).


----------



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

razer777 said:


> Sounds like you went through what is known as thymoanesthesia. Its a common side-effect of long term antidepressant use (with the possible exception of wellbutrin, which can possibly reverse these feelings).


Wow thanks I think i'll look into that. I also want to mention a point in time while taking zoloft I wasnt aware how long it took for them to 'kick in' so out of frustration I stupidly took a lot more then my prescribed dosage. It didn't do anything at the time but maybe its part of why I feel this way.


----------



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

So ive looked into this a bit further and I notice a lot about serotonin levels. Do you think this might be a reaction to having an overdoes of serotonin? Maybe my levels are too high? I know SSRI's increase production of serotonin maybe I had an overdose of it that left me this way?


----------



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

Wow i actually found this article as well which pretty much sums up EXACTLY how i feel:
Anhedonia

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/special_reports/depression/anhedonia.htm


----------

