# I had a breakthrough!!!



## Guest (Sep 1, 2005)

This has been a very wierd day for me. Most of the visual and physical effects of this disorder dissapeared today, at least a lot of it

It made me realize how sever my DP actually is. Ive known i had a huge blister on my foot for about 3-4 days now, but it never hurt. I must have got it from walking like 5 miles a day around campus, and its litterally about the size of a half-dollar coin. It started to hurt today (and hurt BAD) and it made me realize how out of it ive actually been.

I also noticed that my obsessive self monitoring is pretty bad. I was sitting in class today, and noticed myself responding to other peoples movements like i havent in the longest time, (i think the kids i sat next to thought i was gay to be honest, as they kept jerking around, but as they did it it made me feel uncomfortable too!!) It felt very wierd cause i guess i havent done this sort of "flow" with my actions since i can remember. Also my thoughts seem to come from a deeper spot in my head, i guess meaning im being less conscious of them too. Since im currently feeling pretty real as I type this, im noticing im not paying much attention at all to my hands as i type, which i just realized i usually do.

I also realized that the way i act wierd is actually my-self monitoring making me do things to make me feel better, to vent my negative feelings, and not to actually make me seem normal.

I feel like this is a big breakthrough :!:

Oh yea, and i also felt the warmth of the sun today, i know ive always been able to feel the warmness... but never to actually _feel_ it like now.

Hopefully things will pick up further 

Oh shit, and now that i look at my schedual for my next class, i noticed my last class was two hours long, and it feels looking back on the class like i was there for just over an hour, when usually i cant remember memories as lengths of time at all

No matter how wierd this feels, because its a change.... i know this change is for the better. 

I think this article really helped me, i read it this morning and during it i felt much better but figured it was just reassurance

http://www.sidran.org/didbr.html

Sorry for the long post BTW, just needed to tell somebody about this

Also, anyone ever experience walking like theyre on a rocky boat? Ive felt that sensation quite a few times in the past hour


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## flowingly (Aug 28, 2005)

says 1% of the population.

why can't i have this kind of "luck" playing the lottery? 8)

congrats on feeling better! last night and today have been rough, but i'm working on it


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

Good article!

Thanks.

Btw, that might be a plantar's wart on your foot. I used to live in Florida and get them. You need those salicylic acid squares that you paste on your foot. Turns 'em white and then they disappear.


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## Guest (Sep 2, 2005)

nah man, its definately a blister, id go into detail but i doubt you wanna here it.


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## flowingly (Aug 28, 2005)

_Some people with Dissociative Disorders can hold highly responsible jobs, contributing to society in a variety of professions, the arts, and public service -- appearing to function normally to coworkers, neighbors, and others with whom they interact daily._

That's me. Highly responsible Graphic Designer. And "Normally Functioning" extraordinaire  :shock:  :roll:


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## Mipmunk (Oct 28, 2004)

I am having a reasonable day today too. I feel my DP has lifted quite a lot today, I am just waiting for the final bits to leave. It has been a very long 4 months for me.

I am hoping tomorrow or the next couple of days I will be free once again.

Fingers crossed.

Mip
x


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

berto yea i don't feel pain either. it bothers me. like if someone stepped on my foot or i stepped on something it wouldn't hurt. maybe a lil later if i was bleeding a lot i would notice it, but it wouldn't hurt much. i'm the same like you. can't pay attention to time can't really feel warming sensations or any sensations for that matter. I hope i can get this breakthrough one day to make me feel sort of alive. i try not to think about things like is it actually me typing it, but its hard not to when it doesn't really feel like me, and i don't feel the keys. this disorder sucks and to everyone else i look normal. you look fine. you look better, thats what everyone says, but none of them know the hell i am in unless they actually expierience it.


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## bbsan (Nov 7, 2005)

living hell... all of the symptoms and experiences you have described about dp fits me exactly, except mine didn't come from a bad trip.

Sorta tells us that dp, drug-induced or otherwise, is VERY close related.
I feel for you bud, I can relate to what you're going through.

Oh, the article was pretty accurate, thx


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