# Here, Gone, Back Again



## Fenway95 (Jun 9, 2018)

This is my third our fourth username I've used to sign up for dpselfhelp.com over the last three years. The routine is the same. The DPDR intensifies, I can't function, I come on here and obsess, then it slowly fades and I leave.

To those of you of who have only had one experience with dpdr and were able to recover without relapse, I envy you. This is never completely gone for me. Like a monster, it's either contained in its cage thanks to medication, or it gets out and reeks havoc on my life. I call dpdr 'The Beast'.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Fenway95 said:


> This is my third our fourth username I've used to sign up for dpselfhelp.com over the last three years. The routine is the same. The DPDR intensifies, I can't function, I come on here and obsess, then it slowly fades and I leave.
> 
> To those of you of who have only had one experience with dpdr and were able to recover without relapse, I envy you. This is never completely gone for me. Like a monster, it's either contained in its cage thanks to medication, or it gets out and reeks havoc on my life. I call dpdr 'The Beast'.


Im heading towards 30 years of exactly this...Im basically f****d without meds....Ive had various relapses over the years since developing DP in the early ninetees...Often without warning or logical reason....This crap just rears its ugly head when it feels like it wants to just f**k me over for a while...Luckily I always come out the far side and am very aware of this fact at this stage...Although going through it is still no picnic even after all these years and with all the knowledge Ive gained as regards this b******t.......

I think I remember you as BoSox a few years back...Or maybe thats a different Boston fan....

Go easy on yourself....You need to avoid ALL levels of stress right now....Sure I guess at this stage you know the drill....Try draw some comfort from the knowledge youve been through this before many times and have always come out the far side....Thats easier said than done...

Actually the amount of old skoolers returning lately is on the rise...Unfortunately the amount of younger new members is too...

DP sucks so bad!!!!!!!!!


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## Fenway95 (Jun 9, 2018)

I'm completely reliant on Latuda and Ativan at this point. I've accepted that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life.

The scary thing is what happens when there is no more medication to take?


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Fenway95 said:


> I'm completely reliant on Latuda and Ativan at this point. I've accepted that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life.
> 
> The scary thing is what happens when there is no more medication to take?


Couldnt fulfil one of my life dreams to go live in america for a few years because the anti psychotic that gave me my life back isnt FDA approved and hence unavailable anywhere in the USA...

Thanks DP for taking both that and my wife away from me....Amongst many other things....

DP sucks so bad!


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## Fenway95 (Jun 9, 2018)

Yes, I’ve been through this before and come out the far side. Then it comes back. Then I get through it. Then it comes back.


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