# Slowly but surely



## derrrr (Dec 7, 2016)

Hey guys. It's been a few weeks since I last posted about my "progress". I'm feeling better, and I'm not completely consumed with existential thoughts all day as I used to be. Even the waves of existential thought are getting less intense, and less frequent, but they're still quite a nuisance.The "blank mind" (which I now call "over-awareness") is dissipating - I'm not watching myself nearly as much anymore, being able to go into auto-pilot more frequently, which is a good sign, I think.

Unfortunately, two weeks ago, I was going through a rough patch where because of my anxiety, I pulled four episodes of absolutely no sleep, and then sleeping 9-12 hours the night after. I was absolutely convinced I had fatal insomnia, so I was afraid of not being able to fall asleep.

I started taking melatonin last week, and since then, I've been sleeping a lot better. Not great, and I still wake up with some anxiety, but I'm definitely better. I'm not planning to use it permanently, but just to correct my now messed-up circadian rhythms.

*What I've done to deal*


I purposefully avoid negativity wherever I can. Is it avoidance? Yes. Unfortunately, "outta sight outta mind" for me is something's that's worked quite well. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to certain things, such as philosophical quandaries, news, etc. My mind needs a break, so I'm putting my head back in the sand for the time being.
Thinking up goals for the future. I want to do so many things that I've neglected in the last few months.
Taking long walks. Although I won't always feel good during the walks, I'll always feel better afterwards.
Cutting time spent on the internet. It's a time suck, plus allows me too much time to sink into reading and contemplating, which is something I have to curtail until I can do it less obsessively.
Hobbies. I have tons of creative projects that I've started to revisit, having neglected in the wake of this condition. I'm hoping that I can get to a point where I pay little mind to it and more on my projects.

I hope this is both a source of hope and tips to help with your respective struggles with DP, or whatever the hell this condition is. Good day, everyone.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

derrrr said:


> Hey guys. It's been a few weeks since I last posted about my "progress". I'm feeling better, and I'm not completely consumed with existential thoughts all day as I used to be. Even the waves of existential thought are getting less intense, and less frequent, but they're still quite a nuisance.The "blank mind" (which I now call "over-awareness") is dissipating - I'm not watching myself nearly as much anymore, being able to go into auto-pilot more frequently, which is a good sign, I think.
> 
> Unfortunately, two weeks ago, I was going through a rough patch where because of my anxiety, I pulled four episodes of absolutely no sleep, and then sleeping 9-12 hours the night after. I was absolutely convinced I had fatal insomnia, so I was afraid of not being able to fall asleep.
> 
> ...


Totally agree with this. "Avoidance" has been a big tool for me lately too. It sounds so negative to use that word tho, it's the lack of a better word of "not engaging in triggers"- Which i think is HUGE!!!!!!

Cutting time on the internet is also good, but then again getting lost in interesting articles, funny videos, learning something new, is all good things to distract from DP. But definately keep it to a limited amount, but i still think it can be a very useful thing.


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## dope (Aug 31, 2016)

I've been doing the same thing lately, with the avoiding negativity. I watch a lot of youtube, and whenever I see a video with drama or something, even if it's from my favorite creators I don't click it. It's not worth it, plus 2017 has been a good year so far, and I don't want to ruin it with sadness and negativity right in the first months. My head needs a break from last year and DP, negativity and all that too.

Anyway, good for you! Hopefully, it'll keep getting better. I've been feeling quite good lately, too


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## derrrr (Dec 7, 2016)

Thanks! Yep, and since I last posted, things have gotten much better. I've finally stopped this existential crisis in it's tracks. The crisis has abated now, after five turbulent months (but really, it's been going on for closer to a year and a half).

The mental anguish I've suffered (especially in the last five months) can't really be described, just because of how dreadful it was, and I don't want to get into details on the thoughts themselves so as not to send anyone down the same rabbit hole I was in. Each day, it felt like my soul was being crushed, my entire worldview shattered to bits, cycling through intense depressions, anxieties and sub-psychotic paranoia, obsessions with different philosophies both from the east and west. Some days I just dissolved into tears -- tears have become a good friend during these dark days.

Things look brighter than they have for me in a long time. I hope to pursue happiness and never allow myself to sink into that abyss again.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

dope said:


> I've been doing the same thing lately, with the avoiding negativity. I watch a lot of youtube, and whenever I see a video with drama or something, even if it's from my favorite creators I don't click it. It's not worth it, plus 2017 has been a good year so far, and I don't want to ruin it with sadness and negativity right in the first months. My head needs a break from last year and DP, negativity and all that too.
> 
> Anyway, good for you! Hopefully, it'll keep getting better. I've been feeling quite good lately, too


I watch alot of youtube aswell. What i've come to realize is that it can be really helpful, but it's really important to balance things out. 1hour youtube, go outside for a walk, make a meal, then another hour. 5hours+ with no breaks is gonna MESS you up


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