# Anyone else feel this way? Horrible.



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

This is a post from AnxietyZone.com, and it literally describes PERFECTLY how I feel. Unfortunately, the author is inactive.. So I figured id post it here. Please comment below.



> "That's my symptoms and they are soo bad.I havethem constantly.One day I woke up with a panic attack 'realizing' that I exist and I am conscious and it overwhelmes me.Every day is a struggle.I feel too aware of my own existence and it's scary.I am freaking out over the fact that i can see,think and I am a human being,life is like a new experience to me.I feel stuck being conscious-super weird I know.Is it anxiety?My panic attacks are no more physical,they are just a terror in my head,being irritated and terrified by being aware of life.It's not derealization because I don't feel like in a dream world ( I used to have it) now it's just I don't know..unexplainable feeling- feeling overwhelmed with consciousness.Does anybody have that and is it just anxiety?"


This is exactly how I feel. Anyone else?


----------



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

And here is the full thing. Thank you Bob for replying 

Hello people 
My mind is in so much anxiety I can't bear it,it's too much.It's been more than 2 months now and it started to get worse.I feel hyperaware of my existence,like I am too conscious.I feel like I was unconscious all my life and now my mind opened and I am ovely conscious of my existence and it's scary.I feel afraid of life,of me being me,and feel stuck being alive and having consciousness.It's super weird and it gives me panic attacks,very very bad panic attacks.I am afraid of the fact that I exist,it's like a phobia of existence ( not death),it doesn't make sense, I don't know how to explain it to my psychiatrist either because I decided I am going back on meds,I can't live like this,It's hell,I want to shut my consciousness to how it was before but I feel that now I am 'aware' of something I wasn't aware before ( of my own existence) and there is no way back,once someone is aware of something you can't get UNaware of it.I don't know even what it is,I think it is anxiety but I am not very sure,it's HYPERANXIETY may be,am I the only one with this weird symptom?I feel like an alien,like I am new to 'living'. I freak out not because of any straight reason but because well.. I'm alive. I feel like my whole life before this I was living unconscious and now I am conscious and it's very very scary. Initially it starter with panic attacks now it's a constant feeling 24/7,can someone relate?

Anyways.. ^


----------



## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

I can relate completely, when the though first happened it scared me now it doesn't bother me as much but it still sucks..it started for me when my anxiety was so high.


----------



## Guest (May 15, 2014)

That is me to a tee, but it is getting so much better! Hang in there and don't let it stop you doing stuff, you need to treat it with reverse psychology.


----------



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

bill said:


> By the way 58Balloons, my name is bill!


I'm so sorry Bill!!


----------



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

It's just ur new reality looking thru a dpd lense trapped in ur head and hyper aware ul get over the sudden shock eventually


----------



## deckeromega12345 (Feb 23, 2014)

bill said:


> It's ok my friend, I burst one of your balloons for getting my name wrong, ok.


Hahaha I don't think he noticed it.


----------



## Spadde (Oct 29, 2013)

I feel the same way and I have for about 6 months. im so afraid to be alive. I constantly question why anything exists at all. the recent days it has become much worse and Im afraid that it will never dissapear. I dont know what to do. Im almost out of hope and I dont know if I can go on like this.


----------



## Riah (Feb 17, 2014)

59Ballons said:


> Hello people
> My mind is in so much anxiety I can't bear it,it's too much.It's been more than 2 months now and it started to get worse.I feel hyperaware of my existence,like I am too conscious.I feel like I was unconscious all my life and now my mind opened and I am ovely conscious of my existence and it's scary.I feel afraid of life,of me being me,and feel stuck being alive and having consciousness.It's super weird and it gives me panic attacks,very very bad panic attacks.I am afraid of the fact that I exist,it's like a phobia of existence ( not death),it doesn't make sense, I don't know how to explain it to my psychiatrist either because I decided I am going back on meds,I can't live like this,It's hell,I want to shut my consciousness to how it was before but I feel that now I am 'aware' of something I wasn't aware before ( of my own existence) and there is no way back,once someone is aware of something you can't get UNaware of it.I don't know even what it is,I think it is anxiety but I am not very sure,it's HYPERANXIETY may be,am I the only one with this weird symptom?I feel like an alien,like I am new to 'living'. I freak out not because of any straight reason but because well.. I'm alive. I feel like my whole life before this I was living unconscious and now I am conscious and it's very very scary. Initially it starter with panic attacks now it's a constant feeling 24/7,can someone relate?


Ahhh, my god. This exactly describes the past couple days for me. I have never felt true anxiety until now. I am all too aware of my existence; bothered by the fact that I am confined to exist in one human vessel yet disturbed by the knowledge of my own consciousness. It's depressing, it's frightening; it's fucking annoying and I'm fucking sick of it.

Did you ever recover from this hyperawareness?


----------



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

Yes I have recovered. THERE IS HOPE. It was terrible for me. But I have distracted myself from this problem and eventually I just stopped thinking about it. I still do worry a bit about this, but I've improved greatly.

3 months later and I'm still here


----------



## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

I know this all too well


----------



## maddybeth (Jul 24, 2014)

I too feel this way.I feel like it will never go away! Its been 9 months of pure HELL. I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I am insane!


----------



## maddybeth (Jul 24, 2014)

I too feel this way.I feel like it will never go away! Its been 9 months of pure HELL. I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I am insane!


----------



## tlj18 (Jul 31, 2014)

I can identify with this. It's like we know too much, and are too aware, for our own good. I know that, at least for myself, I overthink things. I constantly think about the nature of life. Why take aggressive measures (like intentionally living a healthy lifestyle and putting forth the effort to eat semi-healthy) when we are all destined to die anyway? When we die, our consciousness will also die, so it will be as if we never existed. I can't live each day without lying to myself and ignoring the truth. Life is meaningless, but in order to experience a good life, we must lie to ourselves and make it meaningful. Life is great, but it doesn't feel that way when I am not living inside my fabricated sense of meaningfulness. Biological evolution is blind and life has no purpose other than to exist and propagate itself; there is no further goal or purpose. Life exists because it does. End of story.


----------



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

I have come to realize that my whole issue here is that feeling of being too alive. I also feel trapped and panicky for no reason. But it all goes away when I am distracted.

I often feel anxious OVER the fact that I feel too alive.

It sucks but most of my problems are anxiety over my thoughts. It does get better.


----------



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

But we have to all remember, that these are JUST FEELINGS. Even if you are feeling fake, or you feel like you aren't really a human, or you aren't alive, THE VERY FACT THAT YOU ARE *FEELING* FEAR MEANS THAT YOU ARE VERY ALIVE, AND YOU AREN'T FAKE. These feelings aren't pleasant, and they blow major asshole, but we aren't alone, and we are all ALIVE. AND WE CAN GET. BETTER. We can do this.

I wish you all the best. And you aren't alone.


----------



## sunshinita (Aug 13, 2013)

wow, the first 2 things you quoted from the anxiety forums were actually written by me , still feel the same way though, just without the constant panic, but the feeling still lingers.


----------



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

Omg everyone! I just re-read those posts I posted from Sunshinita way back in May and I am happy to say that I am so far away from those feelings and thoughts now, and have been since October. I remember how awful it felt, but truly.. Distraction is *the* cure. You can totally get better, no matter how deep you've dug yourself. And I was dug pretty deep.


----------



## MusicaElectronica (Sep 17, 2013)

59Ballons said:


> This is a post from AnxietyZone.com, and it literally describes PERFECTLY how I feel. Unfortunately, the author is inactive.. So I figured id post it here. Please comment below.
> 
> This is exactly how I feel. Anyone else?


old thread but...bump!
this is exactly how I feel too
I get shocked and panicked when I realize that im alive.
is it dp/dr or just extreme anxiety?


----------



## Msanchioli (May 13, 2017)

I recently had this hyperawareness to my own senses but it didn't happen during the time I had extreme anxiety, it actually happened when my blank mind set in. It was even more shocking becuase my thoughts seemed so distant and on top of that I was realizing my senses in a way I've never realized them before. Just ride it out. No matter how freaky it gets just do things you know deep deep down under all the dp that you'd love. There was a point I literally had to feel my eyes becuase I was dumbfounded at the fact that I could see.. and I'm a medical student.

--mark.


----------

