# Seriously feel suicidal!



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

Please don't send me info of suicide helplines or emergency suicide help.

If I am going to do it, I will do it right/correctly, painlessly.

Circumstantial issues and losing my musical other half has led me to this.


----------



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

I could give a shit about a floozy, this is just about the music.


----------



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

This is not happening. I refuse to take no for an answer musically! I've accomplished enough, I could die happy. But my dreams will be actualized, will happen!!!! I refuse to take no for an answer!!


----------



## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Sam, is it you?


----------



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

I can't say much. But This is bad.

No one can help.


----------



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

I couldn't give two shits about the sex part. The art part is sacred.

I suffer from extreme panic that happens in episodes that are quite rare but when they do happen are virtually beyond any form of comprehension.


----------



## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Medications has helped me tremendously within 2 weeks when it comes to both depression/suicidal thoughts, and the DP part. I recomend starting meds if you are not already on it, and trying other meds if you are.


----------



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

I'm basically the resident psychopharmacologist here. Meds are not the issue. I virtually know every avenue of classes of drugs and their line of action in terms of neurotransmitters. Plus I've taken or experimented with all of them at one time or another. I appreciate your opinion very much. This has become something way more difficult than meds. The stress is going to go away very soon. I am going to settle all the external factors soon. If I have to go through a marathon of rings and hoops, this will drive me to suicide. ....Now it's more of the process of having things go away for good. I can't make others do shit. ... This whole issue is going to go away fast. And if no one wants to regain a musical thing, then fuk it, they aren't ghat good anyway imo.


----------



## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

Please, don't... I know how it feels to just want to end this torture... Just please, please keep going... I know how pointless it all seems.. But I know how good life has been in the past and I just keep trying to focus on that... It cannot be this way for good...


----------



## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

Try naloxone


----------



## tfiio (Nov 10, 2016)

mind.divided, I think you missed the point.

hidden, what role did your musical other half serve? writing/composing? instrumental? vocal? what type of music is your art, or does it intentionally eschew genre?


----------



## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

Magic. Two people playing it was magic. But you know Im easily 1/2 or more of that. ....I am willing to bet the other person has put down their instrument for a while and will probably fall back into the funk she was in. ....So oddly I feel a tad better because for no reason ..I just had a major bout of depression. I think I am coming out of it. ...She will realize what the story is. And come to. ....Im not worried in the slightest. I do appreciate the kind words and help guys! It made me feel better. I am very in touch and open with my emotions. And appreciate you taking the time with me. <3


----------



## dppara (Dec 17, 2014)

Yeah, I had a few weeks ago some really bad DP, so I can relate to the suicidal thoughts.

@mind.divided, did naloxone help you?


----------

