# Depersonalization/derealization? Any match my symptoms? And why I get them please



## Kitatam19 (8 mo ago)

Firstly.. hello to everyone who is on here. My very first time writing anything like this online so please take it easy with me lol.


so a few months ago now I started to feel like I’m not actually here, I’m awake but dreaming. Not tired, not day gazing or thinking about anything constantly just dreaming.
I’m not suicidal or anything but sometimes I’m driving my car and think. “ I could just really put my foot down now and it’s doesn’t matter if I “crashed” because it’s not real, I’m not really here. I’ll ask a friend to pinch me, really hard or I’ll pinch myself so I’m not confused with reality or a dream. It’s like being in your own dream except it’s so real you could do anything. Anything scary, daring or wild and it wouldn’t matter because it’s NOT actually real. I’m constantly feeling sonked. Not tired just not here with it, I’ve never done a drug except a standard ***, I like a few drinks once a week but that’s about it.
I phoned my doctor today and he said it sounds like either one of the titles above or both. As I’m not connecting to the world. Or infact, anyone or anything, it’s like I’m here to just be here. Why I don’t know. He’s sent a referral off and we’re going to go from there.
Anyone have these exact kind of symptoms?
Did you get answers as to why this happens? 
what triggers it? 
have I got some sort of mental disorder maybe? 
will it go away?

so many questions. Just want some help and answers.

I just want to feel me again, feel human and feel like I do have a place here on earth.


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## coolwhip27 (Mar 14, 2015)

Kitatam19 said:


> Firstly.. hello to everyone who is on here. My very first time writing anything like this online so please take it easy with me lol.
> 
> 
> so a few months ago now I started to feel like I’m not actually here, I’m awake but dreaming. Not tired, not day gazing or thinking about anything constantly just dreaming.
> ...


I understand, there is probably a lot of confusion. I have it too. Depersonalization just feels like one mixed bag of memory problems and not feeling connected to reality. A fragmented existence, sort of? When I feel grounded is when I’m calm. When I’m not a pinball machine inside. And you don’t obtain that inner peace, you become the peace. Just like when you feel stressed, unreal. The realness is not the only thing that it is, it’s a no good feeling. Your thoughts might be telling you what it is. But when the negativity is there that is what your brain is operating on.


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## Kait (7 mo ago)

Kitatam19 said:


> Firstly.. hello to everyone who is on here. My very first time writing anything like this online so please take it easy with me lol.
> 
> 
> so a few months ago now I started to feel like I’m not actually here, I’m awake but dreaming. Not tired, not day gazing or thinking about anything constantly just dreaming.
> ...


I know this exact feeling. After a while, you really start questioning your sanity. I have a therapist to talk to and I started taking lexapro to control the panic attacks I was having that led to this feeling, and the panic from feeling this itself. You're not alone. That's really what I want you to know. It's an awful feeling. I feel like I'm constantly mourning my old self. The key to surround yourself with people who love you, do not isolate yourself no matter what, get a therapist and perhaps some medication to help level you out. And don't google too much about this because it'll make it all worse.


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