# So scared.



## Novi (May 12, 2018)

2 days ago everything messed up.

I was acting silly with my girlfriend and we were in a small fight through text and she asked me if I drank anything. I started panicking because it wasn't really me to act silly, and I was thinking "What if that lighter I was playing with messed with my brain because of the gas, what if it's because I hit my head, what if I have brain damage.

A few days before this my muscles started twitching again, but it stopped for some months now it's back, so this even worries me now.

My number one fear is having something mentally wrong with me, I feel so scared, confused, have the weirdest thoughts, I was trying to rap but my speech was mixing up, I feel so paranoid, I feel like I can't focus or think, I feel so blank, i feel like I can't preform a simple task. DP started in middle school (4 years ago) when I was panicking about health, and day by day it slowly went worse and I thought it was my vision and I started getting more worried. I don't know why it came back and i don't know if it's an episode of epilepsy or a stroke because my muscles won't stop twitching, or I don't know I just want this to be over with. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Here I am 10PM alone about to be 2019 and I'm all fucked up. I'm so scared. I begged my parents to take me to get some tests but they keep denying me. I just don't want to go mental..


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## Psyborg (Dec 23, 2018)

it is mostly just anxiety I think . I have had similar episodes like this . I had all kind of irrational fears ....if I told you them you would laugh

you should go to the doc for those muscle twitches . dont be scared I doubt that it is something serious but you better let it checked up so you will also feel better

you will not go mental trust me


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## Novi (May 12, 2018)

Novi said:


> Jeez, literally 2 years later and I'm still with the same exact anxiety and thought.


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## ReiTheySay (Aug 5, 2016)

Doesn't that kind of give you an idea of the nature of what you feel, having been two years? 

I'm sorry it's still a problem for you. I hope you managed to deal with them better. I personally think it's a form of anxiety, having experienced anxiety manifesting in endless ways myself.


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## PerfectFifth (May 2, 2016)

Novi said:


> I was acting silly with my girlfriend and we were in a small fight through text and she asked me if I drank anything. I started panicking because it wasn't really me to act silly


Whatever you do is you. Maybe you just don't know yourself all that well.


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

I have recovered from DP mostly but I'm still a hypochondriac. Realize that most people who get wasted don't have DP or even know what it is. Parent denial sucks. Worst case scenario you can tell you doctor at your next checkup. They're bound by the Hippocratic oath they can't telly your parents sh*t.


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