# Saw this on Reddit from a few days ago



## EmmaBo (Aug 31, 2016)

This is CUT AND PASTED FROM REDDIT (not my story) 

It has been about 2 years since I started saying I was "better" in terms of DP and I can say with 100% confidence that I have no effects what so ever in terms of Depersonalization/derealization/dissasociative disorder or hyper anxiety. During the thick of my experience I couldn't imagine a reality in which I was cured but here I am.

The bad news first, I don't exactly have any "magic cure" or "just think about it this way and it won't bother you", but I wanted to share how it happened and give a few tips on some of the many things I did and how it made the difference. I hope what I have to say can help some people who are still going through this.

--PART 1-- When it started I first read about DP about a week after I started experiencing it and was desperately web searching for a name to describe what I was feeling. The search that finally did it was "I feel like I am dreaming" and the wikipedia article on DP came up. I read it and said "THIS IS IT! THIS IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!"

I was 21 years old, had just started my senior year of college, I lived in a house with my best buddies, and I was actually enjoying things quite a bit. If I had to point to a single event that started the DPD it would be a psychedelic experience which I won't go deep into because I feel it is largely irrelevent. Their were multiple other factors, I was drinking excessive amounts of caffine throughout the day, and alcohol at night. I was extremely stressed about not being able to handle myself financially after graduating, and I was worried about my father who was alone, 5 years divorced from my mom, 5 states away, and drowning in debt.

I personally think that Depersonalization is less of a thing in and of itself, and rather a SYMPTOM of a larger problem: Anxiety and Depression. The caffine and alcohol consumption did not help with this at all.

--PART 2-- HOW I HANDLED IT Desperate to get back to reality I did several things to try and fix my problm

1:I immediately quit using substances. I continued to drink alcohol and caffine occasionally but almost as medicine. like 1 beer at night and not even the whole thing. Sometimes it didn't help me calm down, and sometimes the caffine didn't help me wake up.

2: I started excersizing every day. I Had always WANTED to do this because I wanted to feel better about my body and I thought people would respect me more. Once the DP struck I didn't give a ** what anyone thought of me, I didn't care about my weight or how I looked, i just wanted to feel better. I read in an article that excersize can help produce neurotransmitters so i started running and biking as best I could. It didn't Help immediately but it deffinetly did in the long run, these days I love it.

3: I started Eating healthier: Specifically fruits, veggies, and nuts. Again I red an article about some foods that are good for the brain, and desperate to try anything I bought a bunch of bannanas, a massive bag of bland tasteless walnuts, bags of mixed greens, etc etc.

4: I tried to root my anxiety in reality. Up until the DP started I had been really worried about school, and my social status. Once that inward existential anxiety started, I would have given anything to go back to worrying about those things, because those are REAL THINGS that can actually be dealt with. When I had the chance I would talk to a random girl at a party, based kind of on the idea of "my anxiety about this girl is NOTHING compared to DP" SOmetimes I would get anxious over the convo and forget about the DP self awareness cycle.

5: I spent time with friends. This sounds so unbelievably cheesy but it really helped. I lived with 4 good friends, and even though we got into arguments alot, and they didn't really understand what I was going through, the time we spent laughing at a TV show or a game of mario kart slowly but surely reminded me how to enjoy life. This is probably the most important thing I did to handle my Problem.

6: I Let people take care of me, and worry about me For so long I had been trying to be a "man" about life. I wouldn't talk to anyone about my problems because I felt like I should be able to deal with everything 100% on my own. I should be invinicible and immune to emotions. I needed to be powerful so I could help people. You can imagine how my DP put an end to that. I poured my heart out to anyone who would listen and It was odd that people cared, it was like my brain just needed a reminder that people would still care about me even if I didn't try so unreasonably hard.

7: I hoped. Again this sounds so cheesy. I actually remembered one 50 minute car ride home from the college i was at to my moms, I gave up hope entirely. I told myself in my head that I knew I would never get better and maybe I didn't even want to. I don't remember what made me get up out of that car and go in and talk to my mom but I did it. Everything in my brain told me it was pointless, but I just kind of did it. Even one second of relief a day was enough to hold on to. Logically it shouldn't have been but it was. Maybe I gave up hope, but hope didn't really give up on me...

--Part 3-- HOW IT LEFT

It is hard for me to recall how I felt when I was going through it, because... well it's gone! But I do remember how I described it to people. I told people I thought I was going insane, I thought I was going to die, I couldn't imagine how I would ever get better. I remember the multiple Psychiatrist visits, the nights of no sleep, the horrifying nightmares, the crying, the being unable to cry, and feeling like something was preventing me from being happy.

It lasted about a year, and it slowly got better. It wasn't a linear thing, it was kind of 2 steps foward and one step backwards, (sometimes a 4 steps foward, then 8 steps back, then 9 steps foward kind of thing) but I DO remember each month being better than the last. It was about one full year (it will be different for everyone) when I realized I was officially over it. There was no moment when I went from being in it to out of it, it's kind of like how something decays and gets exponentially smaller. 1/1 then 1/2 then 1/4 then 1/8 then 1/16 and eventually it got so small I didn't even realize it. I looked for it and it just wasn't there.

I currently am working at my dream job, my dad is doing better, my mom is doing well, I have so much fun all of the time, and I am taking care of myself. I still have stress in my life but it feels like life again. I still occasionally feel afraid and worried, but that's the thing, I FEEL afraid, I feel alive because of it. When I have a problem I solve it, when I am happy I am happy, when I am Relaxed I am relaxed.

I hope this helped, if anyone has any questions or anything let me know and I would be happy to answer.

If I got over it, anyone can. It goes away. I Promise. 


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

EmmaBo said:


> I would have given anything to go back to worrying about those things, because those are REAL THINGS that can actually be dealt with. When I had the chance I would talk to a random girl at a party, based kind of on the idea of "my anxiety about this girl is NOTHING compared to DP" SOmetimes I would get anxious over the convo and forget about the DP self awareness cycle.


I like this part! I will definitely apply this to my life


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## microspect (May 24, 2016)

i love the running part, after 1 mile, your mind is in tune with the road and not your mind.


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## Jjj123 (Jan 10, 2017)

I talked to this dude on Reddit actually. He's really fucking cool and nice.


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## jestemzalamany (Sep 7, 2016)

this post gave me a lot of hope.


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## RedSky (Jan 11, 2017)

nice post! very inspiring I think my issue is that I don't have a "career" and I am 28 and I have inner stress because of it, but everything else I did was the same as the guy who posted it and it did help (eating better, exercise, ect)


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