# Self-Centered ?



## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

By reading some posts today I discovered that 99% of the post contains at least a few times 'I';

I think people with dp/dr have fifteen main things in common.

1. They are very self-centered.
2. They had a fearful youth and are more then average fearful personalities.
3. They don't have many good friends.
4. They don't know how to entertain themselves/have real interests except for romantic stuff. They are mostly very romantic.
5. They are very sensitive.
6. They think they're very special/or they want to be special (narcisistic ?).
7. They think way too much because they're afraid. They're afraid of live or situations in live and therefore they don't thrust in their emotions or "felt sense" so they only thrust in their mind.
8. They are very stubborn and think they're always right.
9. They sit way too much time behind the computer.
10. They don't face their fears. F.e. if you're afraid of going outside then you just don't do that.
11. They lack discipline.
12. They can't face certain things in life. Accepting isn't done in your mind but in your body. I'm sure your breathing isn't right. Accepting is done by proper breathing.
13. They lack hope.
14. They're very negative/depressed.
15. They're over analyzing their illnes and researching symptoms so they get more and more symptoms.

Solution ? Get into your body. Body awareness is the key. Do a body scan. Read my posts.

I didn't recover yet myself, but I snapped out of it once within 30 minutes of 'body scanning' and I will snap out of DP/DR darn soon.

Go do fysical things. A lot! Excersise, excersise, excersise. Walk! This will get you more into your body. But be disciplined for god sake. Also, try to take yourself less serious. Joke! And for god sake, stop thinking you have something medical. It's all body energy thats messed up.


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

This night I tried getting into my body again. I didn't succeed until I started thinking about my trauma. Suddenly it was like wind or a breathe flowed into my body. Suddenly my nose opened, my eyes opened, my ears opened (which i had previous time also when entering my body). Things just got a lot more clear.

Then all of a sudden my blood in my whole right leg, it must have been at least a liter of blood started to move. Not only the blood but I also think the energy in that leg. I could hear and feel the blood moving. It was very very strange. Like my body said to me - now its enough, you've been a ghost for long enough - lets start you up again 

This is another important thing with trauma - denial. And believe it or not, everybody on this forum is traumatized. The ones who did drugs think they got dp/dr from that, its not true, dp/dr doesnt come from drugs - its just the trigger. Dp/dr comes from fear. 99% of the people on this forum were bullied, thats most often the trauma.
Personally I got bullied, but I had a much much bigger trauma after that (some cult thing of three years) and I always thought thats the trauma. But its not really, the being bullied thing is very important - how earlier in life you have fears the bigger impact it has on you.

Ok so a new excersise.

1) Lie on a bed or on the floor.
2) Press your thumb nail under your middle finger nail (sounds strange, but its logical). Your hands must face the sky when doing this.
3) Now concentrate on your left hand. Feel the burning pain increasing of the two nails pressed to eachother. Then move to another finger with your concentration and so on work thru your whole hand. Do the same with your other hand.
4) Now start thinking about the things you denie. The best thing is to imagine the situation. Keep doing this until you feel something changing in your body.
5) If you get into your body don't be scared, fear can ruin this excersise.
6) Relax, stay like this for a while. If you feel you're back in your body stay calm for an hour or something and go to sleep or at least don't get too active/enthousiastic.


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## Guest (Dec 26, 2006)

.......


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## goo goo (Aug 31, 2006)

When you went into your body lostsoul, was it like everything just completly opened up around you? That you feel completely in your surroundings?. My ears feel blocked all the time and i am constantly getting blocked noses.


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

goo goo,

One question for you, are you aware of your body?
We are always in our body, and our mind, if you were living in your head then you would not be aware of pain in your body!

Don't dwell on dp, it just makes it worse, it just becomes your focus of attention, don't focus on your body or your mind, look forward and at the things you want to achieve, and focus on that.
All due respect to Rev, but you can become addicted to this site in a way, well not so much the site but reading about dp, it really can become your centre of focus.
This site is great for letting people know they are not alone, but don't get to caught up in it.

Cheers 3098


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

Hi 3098.

I partly agree with you. Focusing on 'DP/DR' is very wrong. And yes we are always in our body and mind. But as scientifically studied, depressed people are 30% in their body and 70% in their mind. Mental healthy people are 70% in their body and 30% in their mind. And as every good psychologist agrees with me (here in the netherlands) there has to be a good mind/body balance.

goo goo:

Yes everything seemed to become clear. My hearing cleared up, my eyes, my nose. I felt fresh and clear again.


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

As I also experienced, you can feel sooo much warmth for people when you're more in your body, its amazing and the best feeling ever. Also, please remember the following: Your emotions and memory are 95% in your body. And also living in the present is done by being in your body, not by being in your mind.


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

Hello lostsoul,

I find your positive attitude refreshing, probably a little to motivated for some, I also agree with Layla, it is very hard to tell others about your own personal experiences without saying I.
I cannot say, We like your positive attitude, and We agree with Layla, for the simple fact, I, cannot speak for everyone. 
You said our memory is 95% in our body, sorry, but you've lost me, what do you mean by that?

Cheers 3098[/b]


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

lostsoul said:


> By reading some posts today I discovered that 99% of the post contains at least a few times 'I';
> 
> I think people with dp/dr have fifteen main things in common.


 :roll: It's mostly people talking about their symptoms, histories etc. or trying to encourage others here. It's hard to talk about yourself without saying 'I'.

Henceforth We shall use the royal We to avoid seeming self-centered. 

And as for #12, We are certain Our breathing is impeccable. We don't think it's nice to make assumptions about thousands of strangers based on your own experience and ideas.


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

Perhaps the 'I'-example was a bit wrong, what I meant was that people with dp/dr are to focussed inward. When you focus more on other people then you dont think about your own problems. I can't say i'm doing that, because i'm very self-centered, but im trying, its difficult to focus on others when you're in a very bad state.

Pollyanna 3098:

I meant with 'your memory is in your body' exactly what i stated. Your memory is in your body, its as simple as that. You can think in your mind about f.e. a relationship you had, but when you're in your body and think about the past you remember a lot lot more. Also you feel the warmth and other emotions you have with memories through your body.

Layla:

I'm sorry that I offended you with my breath thing. I just think good breathng is very important, but i generalized it too much. In my case I can't breath automaticly anymore, its completely manual for two years. This happens when you have a great amount of breath. For this I went to a breath therapist and she was saying that accepting things is done by proper breathing. Also thaoists believe a lot in the power of breathing, and also in body awareness.


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## Guest (Dec 28, 2006)

.........


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

A cynical approach to this mess won't help. Although I can totally understand you being cynical, it will only make you worse.

I've been through a looooooooooottttttttttt of shit, you can say i've been in a cult/sekt for three years. I got hurt big big big time. Many people dont understand i didnt kill myself yet. Ofcourse i'm not saying that when I would have breathed correctly it wouldn't have happened. What I am saying is that you can get new perceptions on things, one way to do that is to live healthy and to have healthy emotions. Things are all very much connected. Body and mind is connected. A healthy mind goes in a healthy body. One old lady in a clinic told me this once: the key to happyness is proper breathing, proper diet and proper excersise. I think she has a point there.

I feel like deep deep deep shit, i went thru a hell and i still am, i went thru a trauma, i have a terrible headache for two years now, i cant breathe automaticly for two years now (think about it when you have to think about breathing every fucking second), but I know that being negative makes things only worse. When you are strong and positive you can make the biggest mess in your live the biggest power!

I just started to do anything to remove anxiety from my live. Stop smoking, alcohol, coffee, sugar, etc. Have a normal life, work, have good friends, have fun.

Next time when you want to post something cynical, don't, you're not helping anyone with this. Thanks.


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## Guest (Dec 28, 2006)

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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

lostsoul said:


> Perhaps the 'I'-example was a bit wrong, what I meant was that people with dp/dr are to focussed inward. When you focus more on other people then you dont think about your own problems. I can't say i'm doing that, because i'm very self-centered, but im trying, its difficult to focus on others when you're in a very bad state.
> 
> Pollyanna 3098:
> 
> ...


Sorry I think I came across more harshly than I meant to 
I was just trying to give one specific example, in my sarcastic way, of why sweeping generalizations are bad.

also you don't need to worry that you'll stop breathing if you stop thinking about it. Breathing is controlled by the autonomic nervous system even if you never think about it and it will never fail you unless you're dying anyway.


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

Layla, thanks for your reply. I wasn't talk about the brain here, but about the mind. The mind and body are seperated. There has to be a good balance between those two to be mentally healthy. You don't have to take my word for it, one user already recovered because of this theory. And many others who already recovered told me this theory is the way they recovered.

Many people told me just to stop thinking about breathing, well its not that simple. I don't have a freaking idea what the hell im thinking about  my thinking is completely detached..


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

Breath therapy can help your mind. Everytime you got scared as a child (or even an adult) you held your breath, by holding your breath you encode the trauma into your mind/body, so it makes sense to use the breath to undo these problems. Watch how a young child breathes with its whole body and compare that to a emotionally repressed adult, the more free you breathe the more emotionally fluid you are. The science of Yogic Pranayama is based on these principles.


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## FloatingRoberto (Dec 6, 2006)

Great topic lostsoul,

You really have some harsh, but true points in your post. Acknowledging these points is only half the work though, so how did you go on recovery?
Took yoga classes, went to a shrink and started playing volleyball? I would really appreciate a concrete explanation of your turnpoint. Guess it would make a good inspiration for what type of thing to look for.


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2007)

1.They are very self-centered. ?Damn Right?
2. They had a fearful youth and are more then average fearful personalities. ?Yeah, I used to go round my school while on breaks trying really hard not to cry?
3. They don't have many good friends. ?Yeah they are all ?$&*%&?$?$*??s!!!!? 
4. They don't know how to entertain themselves/have real interests except for romantic stuff. They are mostly very romantic. ?Computer and right hand, .,oO0h yeah, I have ?the? magic touch?  " 
5. They are very sensitive. ? Yeah, *rubs back of head*?. Heh
6. They think they're very special/or they want to be special (narcisistic ?) ?I?m a god?  
7. They think way too much because they're afraid. They're afraid of live or situations in live and therefore they don't thrust in their emotions or "felt sense" so they only thrust in their mind. ?I?m sh*t scare? =*( 
8. They are very stubborn and think they're always right. ?I AM AAAWAYS RIGHT!? 
9. They sit way too much time behind the computer. ?Humm? min of 4 hours, max of 36+? blinks? wh-what?! I NEEDED TO TEST MY XBOX 360! I?m having it chipped today, gotta make sure I have a good one pals!  ) 
10. They don't face their fears. F.e. if you're afraid of going outside then you just don't do that. ?This is one of my fears, I really want some help doing it? I would with help?
11. They lack discipline. ?I wasn?t given any, ?I AM GOLDEN BALLS? my parents just couldn?t handle giving discipline such a sweet boy *Smirks*? 
12. They can't face certain things in life. Accepting isn't done in your mind but in your body. I'm sure your breathing isn't right. Accepting is done by proper breathing. ?Breaths proplery? 
13. They lack hope. ?I lack faith?
14. They're very negative/depressed. ?I?m negtived but happy?
15. They're over analyzing their illnes and researching symptoms so they get more and more symptoms. ?*nods*? yeah*

You?re good chief *Bows to you*


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## rui (Apr 27, 2005)

1.They are very self-centered.
Yes on a consistent basis on the past, I remember doing non present moment mental thining instead of looking at things and think about them at an early age.

2. They had a fearful youth and are more then average fearful personalities. "Yeah, I used to go round my school while on breaks trying really hard not to cry"

Yes, I was bullied while at the same time having a kind of triangle platonic love affair that probably mingled sexuality and pain in body memory.

3. They don't have many good friends.

No, I have many great friends but I only started to realize that when I decided to pay more attention to them.

4. They don't know how to entertain themselves/have real interests except for romantic stuff. They are mostly very romantic.

Indeed. My only entertainment was computer programming, tv, books... and when I did the other real things my back mind was probably thinking on them anyway.

5. They are very sensitive.

That goes without saying... but what is sensitive anyway?

6. They think they're very special/or they want to be special (narcisistic ?) "I'm a god"

Yes, being a piscis native only exarcebates this. 

7. They think way too much because they're afraid. They're afraid of live or situations in live and therefore they don't thrust in their emotions or "felt sense" so they only thrust in their mind.

I've been able to turn this around with a very high form of success.

8. They are very stubborn and think they're always right.

Never, in fact I'm now more right than ever! Always trying to find other ways to look at things now.

9. They sit way too much time behind the computer.

It is my profession unfortunatelly... and unfortunatelly I don't even think its my right thing to do in life...

10. They don't face their fears. F.e. if you're afraid of going outside then you just don't do that.

I've turned around a similar situation with major success, I've gone from "heavy dizzyness zombie" to "cool guy down the street".

11. They lack discipline.

I remember a time back in my 16's where I took a pen and paper and thinked something on the lines of..."I'm going to plan my life", then I putted it down because I thought it was stupid to do so... if you knew already how to do that why would you need to write it down??...
This was a major falacy I had... I probably just never understood the human condition... I never understood you were supposed to "lie" and "force your way" and "take the courage to" because...well... its logical... if its you... why would you need to lie yourself into whatever... I remember this perfectly and I understand this as a major major wrong belief system I had.

12. They can't face certain things in life. Accepting isn't done in your mind but in your body. I'm sure your breathing isn't right. Accepting is done by proper breathing.

Correct.

13. They lack hope.

I never did. Never. One day I woke up in bed and I was 100% brain potato... I took a decision that day to change my life 180 degrees.... exactly that....180 degrees... in all my agony I took a decision, and that decision lead me today, where I am 90% DP free on my non-computer time (but with other painful physicall issues and tiredness....damn)

14. They're very negative/depressed.

Yes in the past. Not today.

15. They're over analyzing their illnes and researching symptoms so they get more and more symptoms.

I never did that. I understood it would only lead further away from the cure.


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## flipwilson (Aug 19, 2006)

While i may take some issue with the obvious generalizations I think basically what you state is correct. Almost everything I could see in myself from one degree or the other. Especially the fear, romanticism, and the feeling of being special beyond the normal. As far back as 5th grade i remember my fear, driving to Florida with my fam from michigan and almost the whole ride i was freakin that i was having a heartattack(although i didnt tell anyone). Every girl ive ever been with or pursued ive smothered them like a queen almost to a sickening degree, as if life was supposed to be like a movie. And ever since i survived a crazy emergency surgery at birth ive always believed i was meant for something big. Also growing up i was bullied and had a crap home life, but for all my hate for smart asses and judgmental people, ive come to realize that inside im probably a bigger jerk than most ppl i was afraid of. Now I guess I have to keep trying to get back into my body.


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2007)

You have to be you. Even if you don't feel like it. You have to use the word "me" or "i" when describing or saying something about you. It's mandatory. Oh, and when I developed DP I realised how useless material possesions were and gave them away basically. I don't want to be special. I want to blend in. I don't want to be some actor or next croc hunter. I just want to be free from all the anxiety again. Hopefully you read this post thread starter

edit: Does anyone find it ironic the thread started saying dpers are self-centered when he was basing that off of his experiences with dp and self-centeredness?


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