# 10 Steps To Recovery



## savior (Dec 18, 2012)

Hi!

I'm new on this forum so I thought I'd introduce myself first and fill you in on my story. My name is Agnes, I'm 19 years old and live in Sweden. I first felt depersonalization after smoking weed on a school trip to Amsterdam in oktober 2011, and I've had it constantly since then. It got a little bit better about a year ago, mostly because I didn't think about it too much and didn't let it bother me. But then it came back 10 times stronger when I made the mistake of smoking weed again. This was in november last year, and it has gotten A LOT better since then, but I am still not 100% recovered. I've looked a lot for answers for how I will get better, but I never really found any specific ways how to do it. So I made a plan for myself in 10 easy steps how to recover, and I thought I'd share it. A few of my ideas are from the book "Overcoming Depersonalization and Feelings of Unreality", but mostly it's my own thoughts and ideas.

*Step 1: Research*

If you feel like you don't know much about depersonalization, step 1 should be to gain knowledge about what it is, what causes it, how it affects you and how it operates. Once you've done that and feel like you know everything there is to know about it, stop reading about it altogether. That includes researching it, watching videos, reading books and even going on this site. In order for you to be free from this, you need to stay as far away from it as possible.

*Step 2: Sensations*

Next you need to identify exactly what sensations of depersonalization you feel, and make a list of them.

Which one do you consider to be problematic?

Rate the intensity of each one of them so you know which ones are the worst.

*Step 3: Impact*

The next step is to look at how these sensations affect your life. Ask yourself these questions:

* What is it that I do that makes the problem continue?
Example: I'm constantly looking for symptoms, thinking about it and worrying about it, using safety-seeking behavior and avoiding things.

* How does it affect your mood and behavior?
Example: Low mood, anxiety, low self-esteem.

* What does it stop me from doing?

Example: Avoidances, such as spending time with people

* What does it make me do more of?

Example: Safety-seeking behaviors, such as telling yourself that you are real when you feel depersonalized.

Both the things you avoid because of you DP and the things you do to help you cope are things that makes the problem continue. Find out what it is that you do, and then how you can break it.

*Step 4: Goals*

The main goal is obviously to get better, but in order for you to see change you have to set up specific goals.

The goals should be specific, measurable, realistic, achievable and time limited.

Example for goals could be the sensations that you wrote down and rated in step 2.

Rate how severe these sensations are now and how you would like them to be in a few months, a year from now and two years from now for example.

*Step 5: Challenge your thoughts *

Depersonalization is only in your thoughts, so you need to challenge your thoughts in order to change them.

A way to do that is to identify how you interpret the sensations that you have.

Example: If you feel unreal, it could make you believe that you are going insane or that something is seriously wrong with you, which is a negative interpretation. Try to come up with a more positive or neutral explanation or interpretation of what you're feeling.

Also, negative, automatic thoughts makes depersonalization a lot worse. Try to think of what negative, automatic thoughts you have about your depersonalization, and how much you believe in it.

"I will never get better" is an example of a negative automatic thought. Instead of believing in this, come up with evidence that supports this thought, and evidence against it. When you have arguments both for and against it, come up an alternative, more balanced point of view of the thought.

Cognitive errors also makes depersonalization a lot worse. Here are some examples:

* Overgeneralization: You blame all of your problems on depersonalization.

* All or nothing thinking: Thinking that if you feel depersonalized right now, you won't have a good day.

* Fortune-telling: Predicting the future as negative, that your depersonalization only will get worse.

* Labelling: Using negative labels on your self, like "I'm insane" or "I'm useless".

* Exaggeration: Exaggerating the negative, thinking that your depersonalization is worse than it actually is, or more of a problem than is actually is.

* Jumping to conclusions: Assuming that you know what your depersonalization is going to get worse.

* Emotional reasoning: Thinking something is true based on a feeling. Like believing that you are not real because you have a feeling that you're not real.

*Step 6: Other problems*

Most people don't suffer from depersonalization alone, and may also have a lot of anxiety, worry, low mood and low self esteem. Once the depersonalization feels a bit more bearable and manageable, you also need to deal with your other problems in order for you to get better in general.

*Step 7: Tips and techniques *

* Grounding techniques, mindfulness and relaxation
If you are overwhelmed by depersonalization, you can use grounding techniques, relaxation and mindfulness to become more aware what is happening here and now, and they also work for distraction.

* Diet and exercise
Everyone has probably heard this before, but eating enough and exercise is very important. Try to eat at the same time every day and work out once a day, and you will see positive results. Also, don't overdose in caffeine, nicotine and alcohol because they usually make the symptoms worse.

* Routines and sleep

Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Don't lie in bed during the day, use the bed for sleeping only and don't take naps during the day. Try do get out as much as you can and socialize and be productive.

*Step 8: Carry on with your life*

Now you've hopefully gotten to the point where you know everything about depersonalization and how it affects you, so you can carry on with your day-to-day life, just like before. Focus on what really matters in your life, like friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, school/work, parties, exercise, writing, playing guitar, other hobbies etc. and everything that life has to offer. Pursue your dreams and don't let anything hold you back.

*Step 9: Change*

You have to be clear about your goals and how you know that things have changed. Answer these questions:

* How will others know that I am better?

* What will I do differently?

* What will I be able to do? What will I stop doing?

If you want to feel better, you have to be very specific about what it feels like to be better, so that you will know when you are.

*Step 10: Preventing relapse*

Recovery doesn't happen over a night. It takes time and patience. Bad things will still happen in life and you will most likely feel very stressed and anxious at times, and your symptoms of depersonalization may come back for a while. If you have a set back, ask yourself the following questions: Is this a reaction to a recent event or situation? Are you worrying about depersonalization again (which makes you notice more symptoms)?

Depersonalization usually comes in waves, that becomes smaller and smaller and more rarely. People have become 100% free from this, but it's a process that will take time. There will be days where you don't have any symptoms, but they can come creeping back out of old habit or obsession. The longer time between the set backs, the closer you are. First there will be days where you don't even notice symptoms, then weeks, months and then never again.

*Here are some things that I found helpful:*

* Don't fight the thoughts or feelings. Let them come and go without letting them have power over you.

* Don't be afraid to face your worst fear. Nothing bad will happen.

* Depersonalization is like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain.

* Stop looking for problems and scan yourself for symptoms. It's only when you look for them that the problems are there.

* Stop trying to understand what is happening to you, because you can never fully understand it.

* Don't be your own enemy.

* The only thing wrong with you, is that you think there is something wrong with you. You are just as normal and abnormal as everyone else in this world. Learn to trust that.

* Don't jump to conclusions about how you feel or what is going to happen. That is usually not the case.

* Don't think about it. Distract yourself. Live. Enjoy it.

* Don't question everything.

* You have to fully accept it, in order to be free from it.

* Feelings of unreality is the result of inspecting yourself so intensely that you end up feeling odd and unreal.

* Depersonalization is completely harmless. You're not going to die or go crazy.

* It's more about thinking that you suffer from depersonalization, than actually suffering from it.

* The less you think about it, the quicker it will go away.

* Don't make a big deal about it. It's only as big as you let it be.

* Don't isolate yourself.

* If you get scared: Take a deep breath and look around you. Is there actually anything to be afraid of? If you don't find anything, stop being afraid. To not recognize yourself or feeling that the world is unreal is not a reason to be scared, because it is just a feeling and not something to rely on.

* Do what you normally do, even if you feel depersonalized.

* Always remember that everything is the way it's supposed to be and the way it's always been. Everything is okay. Learn to trust that.

* You are not alone. We're all in this together.

* Focus on the exterior world instead of yourself.

* You are just as human as everybody else. Don't convince yourself otherwise.

* Time heals most things. Be patient.

* Don't ever look in the mirror to see if you are "you", because you will only be reminded that you don't recognize yourself and feel depersonalized.

* Be kinder to yourself. Spoil yourself sometimes and take the day off to rest every once in a while.

* What you feel is just your own thoughts about the world, and not how the world actually is.

* Don't trust your feelings, trust your common sense and instinct.

* Don't compare your life with someone else's.

* Do more things that make you happy, and less of the things that make you feel bad.

* Don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen as quickly as you thought. You will feel better, but it's gonna take time before you see any change. It happens slowly and gradually.

* Try something new and exiting.

* Create a new, positive outlook on life.

* Let go. Stop worrying, thinking and wondering so much. It's okay not to have an answer for everything.

* Find an "I don't give a fuck" attitude against these thoughts, and look at it like it's your brain that sends you false information, and you shouldn't trust it.

* The more you worry, the more sensations you notice. The more sensations you notice, the more you worry.

* Distract yourself and keep yourself busy.

* Don't label yourself as sick, because you are not. You don't have a serious illness, so you don't need any treatment or medicine.

* If you don't notice it, it doesn't exist.

* You have an idea of what it means to you to be healthy and sane, and if something challenges that it's not surprising that you label yourself as sick, even when you're not.

* A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

* Find a way to reduce your anxiety and stress, since your depersonalization is a symptom of it.

* Forget about all the bullshit and be happy.

* What is happening to you is only in your imagination.

* Don't forget how far you've already come.

* If you know that these thoughts are not true, you are healthy and don't need to worry about psychosis. It's anxiety, and nothing else.

* Give it time and don't rush it.

* Practice becoming more comfortable with yourself.

* Practice allowing yourself to enjoy things and feel happiness. The hell is over, but it's gonna take some time getting used to it.

* Don't be afraid to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. It won't be like this forever.

* Stop looking for an easy way out, or a miracle cure. There is only one way out of this - to carry on with your life, because everything is the way it's supposed to be and it will get easier with time.

* This is only temporary, and will not be there for the rest of your life.

* Determine how much you are going to let it affect you.

* Don't see it as a huge problem. See it as a problem so small that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

* It can only get better now.

Good luck with your recovery and PM me if you have any questions or need further help.


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## Morgane.N (Feb 10, 2013)

Thank you Savior  <3 !


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

I think this much advice can unfortunately be as confusing as it is helpful.

I'd simplify it to several key bullet points:

1) DP is not "the" problem - it is a symptom of deep-seated fears/insecurities, doubts, feelings of inadequacy and other negative emotions.

2) Don't focus on DP symptoms - it's like worrying about a glitch in the user interface while you have kernel bugs.

3) Resolve your long-standing core issues - you *can* and you will be reborn once that's accomplished. This is difficult for some because they simply do not want to go there. They want a quick fix and to be done with it. Do not be one of those people. Recognize you had issues before DP and work on them.


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## chazhe (Nov 12, 2012)

I totally agree that there are core issues that need to be addressed. But I don't think everyone has to actually cure or resolve the core issues. Some might get better/back to normal without doing so. Some might need to do a lot of deeper work. Its very individual. I'd say one needs to find his/her own ways.


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> But I don't think everyone has to actually cure or resolve the core issues. Some might get better/back to normal without doing so


I think that word "normal" shouldn't be thrown about without examining what it actually means in this context.

You have a person who has psychological issues serious enough to tip into depersonalization. And then when depersonalization goes away, he is "back to normal"?

So in this context "normal" means a walking time bomb.

I don't like the way this word "normal" is used on this board. It means something like "fucked up like the average person."

I don't want to talk about "normal." I want to talk about "psychologically healthy." I don't care if it's "normal" in the West to take antidepressants or tranquilizers. I don't consider that healthy.

I don't consider that when superficial symptoms go away, "problem solved."

That may be "normal" - but I think many people can do better than this.


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## AlexFromPT (Jun 26, 2011)

chazhe said:


> I totally agree that there are core issues that need to be addressed. But I don't think everyone has to actually cure or resolve the core issues. Some might get better/back to normal without doing so. Some might need to do a lot of deeper work. Its very individual. I'd say one needs to find his/her own ways.


I believe that those who recover without ever addressing their emotional issues will have more future problems with dissociation/anxiety. Why? Beause it just makes SENSE. Just my 2 cents i could be wrong


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## chazhe (Nov 12, 2012)

Haumea said:


> You have a person who has psychological issues serious enough to tip into depersonalization. And then when depersonalization goes away, he is "back to normal"?


Haumea, I can totally agree with that statement. But let's face it, Everyone is different. and of course everybody has many unresolved issues under the surface, especially true for people with DP. I'm just saying that it might be possible to find a sense of peace and some degree of psychological health, without totally delving all the way down to the core, deep seated issues. In my case, Dp did not lessen without hard work, plus, I think resolving your deep issues will make you a more authentic person. But you still live a somewhat healthy happy life without completely clearing your past issues.


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## chazhe (Nov 12, 2012)

AlexFromPT said:


> I believe that those who recover without ever addressing their emotional issues will have more future problems with dissociation/anxiety. Why? Beause it just makes SENSE. Just my 2 cents i could be wrong


You make a very good point here. it makes total sense to me, too


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## StartingOver (Dec 24, 2012)

As a person who recovered from this disorder; I love this thread.

Best thread someones made in a long time.

TAKE NOTES GUYS!


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

Great post, very true. I'm 1 month in, but thanks to taking 
control, symptoms start to fade at a slow but constant rate.
Dr is gone. Autopilot is barely there. Emotions start to kick back in, slowly. I have some setbacks. This is completely normal, as savior mentioned in this post that this shit comes in waves with reduced frequency and severity.


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