# Former binge drinker.. dp/dr after withdrawal..?



## apeezy (May 2, 2016)

So I have been sober for almost 2 years. Drank normally till about 2014 and then I did a few months of binge drinking 3-4 times a week. Then I stopped and have been sober ever since. My derealization didn't even start until like 8 months after my withdrawal ended.. I'm so confused. Like I had MRI's and stuff done and it doesn't show anything bad.. no brain shrinkage/damage.. no lesions or any of that. I get that part but then why does it feel like I have no idea where I am? Like I have early onset of dementia? I am just very confused. I feel like the neurologist may have missed something or yeah everything is fine with my brain but it is no longer producing to chemicals for me to feel sane anymore. I just don't understand why this would happen several months AFTER my withdrawal. I'm so lost.

Any advice? Any former drinkers that can share any advice?


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

How long have you been drinking prior?

What are your symptoms? Do you feel like you have no control over yourself? Did you have a panic attack as an onset?

Do you lack an inner monologue?


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## Alan (Jan 26, 2015)

I'd suggest that investigating *why* you were drinking might be helpful to you. A counselor or psychologist (preferably the latter) might be worth considering, if that's something you can afford.

A substance abuse habit is typically an attempt to avoid something, and in a similar fashion DPDR is an in-built mechanism to avoid situations or emotions that would otherwise be intolerable to you so it may be conceivable that in a way the two serve a similar purpose.

In any case, self exploration is a path you might find useful to explore.


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## dpsucks (Sep 7, 2012)

Well alcohol is neuro toxic, and it could be that the damage done is just too small to detect.


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## apeezy (May 2, 2016)

mezona said:


> How long have you been drinking prior?
> 
> What are your symptoms? Do you feel like you have no control over yourself? Did you have a panic attack as an onset?
> 
> Do you lack an inner monologue?


No I don't lack an inner monologue at all. I drank normally for a year or so and then over did it for a few months before quitting cold turkey.

After quitting drinking, I did have panic/anxiety when quitting but then after that it wasn't that bad. The DP/DR didn't hit until months later. Which is why this is all so confusing to me. I have some control otherwise I wouldn't be here.. But yeah I guess there is somewhat a lack of control.



dpsucks said:


> Well alcohol is neuro toxic, and it could be that the damage done is just too small to detect.


Neuro toxic, yeah.. I thought that too. MRI shows all fine and docs won't do a PET or FMRI to help me out further. They don't care or don't want the costs it would take.

Yeah I'm assuming even with how short term my binge drinking was that I could have done some nerve damage to the brain or spinal cord.. I wish there was a way to test that.. like the nerves or something like that in the brain and how it was affected.


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

hi this is not medical advise but it sounds like you need to address the spiritual side of your problem and how you see your world.


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## apeezy (May 2, 2016)

mountainman said:


> was your onset gradual? apparently there is a subtype of dp/dr induced from long-term drug abuse(usually gradual onset). Its likely that the binge drinking caused lasting changes in your brain chemistry enough to trigger dp/dr.
> 
> Thats what happen to me. Derealization after like 3 years of binge drinking. has been getting worse gradually and will continue to according to similar stories.
> 
> It feels like my brain is worn out from the alcohol and its just shutting down completely gradually


I don't think so. I mean I only binge drank for a few months..Was regular drinker for like a year before that. Shorter period but I guess maybe.

It kind of sucks because they say after withdrawal you're neurotransmitters and what not should return to at least somewhat normal. But since it's been so long, for me and you, it probably means that we are just going to be stuck this way huh? It's really shit. Idk what to do. I guess I'll give it till my 30's and see how I feel and then probably just go back to drinking to finish the job. Since It's permanent anyway.


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## Zed (Jul 25, 2015)

I think you'll find it's pretty common once one stops self medicating to have their world come crashing down on them. You'll have a chance to recover from your problems if you're no longer running from them.. You have no choice but to face them.


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## apeezy (May 2, 2016)

Zed said:


> I think you'll find it's pretty common once one stops self medicating to have their world come crashing down on them. You'll have a chance to recover from your problems if you're no longer running from them.. You have no choice but to face them.


I mean the main reason I ever started binge drinking was to kill the pain in my stomach that I was having for two years straight that no doctor could find out the cause for. I did numerous tests and scans and no doc found anything. So I had to live with this excruciating pain every day. I never had any other problems or reason to start drinking. I wasn't running from anything. I was numbing the pain I had to live with every day. And then after two years the pain just disappeared. No rhyme or reason to it. It just did. I had already stopped drinking before that. Idk. Life is a big fucking mess and some people just get dealt a shitty card.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

I used to drink regurarly pre DP for my anxiety... Could that be a reason for my DP? Is there any way back? I feel no control over myself, I dont feel present...


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