# Is this just DP/DR?



## daveych1 (Jul 20, 2010)

Hi guys basically a while back i was diagnosed as having DP/DR, looking back i've had it for a number of years on and off but it never really caused me much anxiety in the past but now i just feel like im literally losing my mind. I have a weird feeling that something is wrong with 'me', like 'I' have gone and i can't find myself but at the same time it's like im HYPER aware of myself and can't break out of the cycle of my own awareness, like when i look at my girlfriend i just see myself looking back at me. It almost feels like there's two of me but i never hear voices or hallucinate or anything like that. I have very surreal feelings about myself which i find very distressing and make my life seem not worth living anymore, the worst thing is i can't even work out exactly what the thoughts are anymore, it's like all my thoughts and worries have been mashed up together and have just become one big awful feeling/thought. I have a lot of anxious 'what if' thoughts constantly going round in my mind and i have to take Diazepam/Lorazepam just to make it through the day/get to sleep but even those aren't working very well any more. I was on Mirtazapine for about 3 weeks but i got the flu and started to go downhill very rapidly, started crying, having panic attacks and the Mirtazapine didn't seem to do anything so i came off it, that was about 2 weeks ago now but i still feel terrible, i have tried Citalopram but it made my anxiety much worse so i couldn't cope with it and i've also tried Dosulepin but it didn't seem to do anything at all apart from make me more spaced out, i really don't know what to do at this point i feel that i've hit rock bottom and can't go on in this way. I guess im just looking for some advice as so far no one seems to have been able to help me, i really identify with certain symptoms of DP/DR but i don't feel like a robot or things like that, just that im not 'me' anymore, and i feel like things in the past and things in the future are also not 'me', or like they were/are a different 'me'.
Thanks for reading and sorry it was bit of a rant, im very confused atm and my memory isn't up to much either so it probably is a bit of a mess.


----------



## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

daveych1 said:


> I have a weird feeling that something is wrong with 'me', like 'I' have gone and i can't find myself but at the same time it's like im HYPER aware of myself and can't break out of the cycle of my own awareness


This is actually one of the best definitions of DP I have read so far. I am not a doctor, but from what I have read so far about this topic, I would definitely say it is just anxiety/DP.

Don't forget: All DP sufferers are different. Some feel robotic, some don't. Some recognize themselves in the mirror, others don't. Some feel very anxious, others don't. But the fact that you have problems with your "I" while likewise being hyperaware of yourself shows that you suffer from DP.

Medication... yeah well, it helps some and makes others worse.

There are many other possibilities available such as supplements, healthy diet, excercise, mindfulness, CBT, hypnosis, distraction, acceptance and going on with life. Just read through the forum a bit, there is plenty of help here.

I think the most important thing with this is: HANG IN THERE!!! and try to remain as positive as you can be. It is hard, we all know that, but giving up should be erased from your list of possible solutions.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!


----------



## daveych1 (Jul 20, 2010)

Thanks for the reply, yea i wasn't sure if anyone would know what i meant, one of the hardest things seems to be put what im feeling into words 'cos half the time i don't even know myself. I also agree with you and have decided that not carrying on isn't an option and thinking about it just makes me feel worse so im trying not to let those thoughts enter my mind, i have also just been referred by my GP to get some help with my mental health problems so hopefully they will be more able to help me find a suitable/medication therapy or whatever might help me, thanks again for the reply!!


----------

