# My Story



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

OK... Well here's my story. I'm a 13 year old (eighth grade) and my depersonalization began exactly 4 months and one day ago (ironically the same day school started). Since then it's been constant until the past few days. Recently, I've felt clear-headed, but sort of like I can be thrown back into my "fog" quite easily. Accompaning the depersonalization has been fatigue and a sensitivity to light. Due to the fact that I have not used any drugs, and that I have a really busy lifestyle, I'm guessing that it's due to stress...
Thought I should also mention that I have felt a great deal of depression throughout my DP, but also some happiness and other emotions, so...
Anyhow, forgot to mention that before I got to this time of clarity, I had a really bad few days of DP (DR? can't really tell which...). Right now, I kind of just feel that DP you would get by thinking philisophically before the DP started... like disconnected, and things sound different, but not so much foggy... is it also normal in DP to feel like you are missing your feelings? Your sense of touch?
I think that my DP may be due to my height or puberty or something though... I'm 13 and 6 feet tall, so maybe my body is being stressed from all this?
*sigh*
Well, hey.

Alex


----------



## kcs (Aug 12, 2004)

Just a thought, but fatigue and light sensitivity - any other physical symptoms? I see you are on the east coast, have you been checked for lyme? I have derealization as one of my numerous symptoms of lyme, also have fatigue and light sensitivity. Not saying that you have lyme, but that it might be worth looking into, seeing how suddenly it came on and your location and such. Try googling lyme symptoms and see if there are other things that fit.
-k


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

kcs said:


> Just a thought, but fatigue and light sensitivity - any other physical symptoms? I see you are on the east coast, have you been checked for lyme? I have derealization as one of my numerous symptoms of lyme, also have fatigue and light sensitivity. Not saying that you have lyme, but that it might be worth looking into, seeing how suddenly it came on and your location and such. Try googling lyme symptoms and see if there are other things that fit.
> -k


Oh wow. That actually sounds just like what I have... the anxiety, depersonalization, and all that! Just no rash, so... Well, I'm getting a blood test soon anyway (for Epstein Barr Virus) so I probably could test for that as well.

Thanks though


----------



## kcs (Aug 12, 2004)

Be aware that a good percentage of people either don't get the bullseye rash, or don't notice it (because it is under hair or doesn't look like the classic bullseye, etc). The tests also are not very accurate, so you can have it and test negative - there is a thread in the medical section with more info on testing and such. The best lab for testing is Igenex, and be sure they do a Western Blot instead of a ELISA which is notoriously innacurate. Again, do some googling for more info, there is a lot of difficulty for people to get properly diagnosed right now.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

kcs said:


> Be aware that a good percentage of people either don't get the bullseye rash, or don't notice it (because it is under hair or doesn't look like the classic bullseye, etc). The tests also are not very accurate, so you can have it and test negative - there is a thread in the medical section with more info on testing and such. The best lab for testing is Igenex, and be sure they do a Western Blot instead of a ELISA which is notoriously innacurate. Again, do some googling for more info, there is a lot of difficulty for people to get properly diagnosed right now.


One thing though... if I had lyme disease for four months, wouldn't I be a lot worse by now?


----------



## kcs (Aug 12, 2004)

Mine started out with just the derealization and some physical symptoms that I thought were unrelated. Gradually got worse over the course of 15 years, very gradually though, with some fluctuation of symptoms where things would improve slightly, but get worse again after. Just suggesting it as something to look into as a possibility.
-karen


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

kcs said:


> Mine started out with just the derealization and some physical symptoms that I thought were unrelated. Gradually got worse over the course of 15 years, very gradually though, with some fluctuation of symptoms where things would improve slightly, but get worse again after. Just suggesting it as something to look into as a possibility.
> -karen


Oh. Just found your thread... It probably would be a good idea to check for lyme. Good luck with your treatment anyway!


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Also wanted to mention that I have had a clicking jaw and clicking thumbs for about a year now... could be related I suppose.
Oh, and I took a little bit of ginkgo biloba a few days before it happened (along with some b-complex) but I don't think that either of these are related...


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

AlexXD said:


> Also wanted to mention that I have had a clicking jaw and clicking thumbs for about a year now... could be related I suppose.
> Oh, and I took a little bit of ginkgo biloba a few days before it happened (along with some b-complex) but I don't think that either of these are related...


Huh. My eye has been twitching recently.
Also, if what I don't feel is physical senses, but I feel other emotions (most of the time), and that detached feeling, would that be just DR?


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Wow. The world does not seem to like me 
I dislocated my kneecap and now can't do any sports for 2 weeks to 2 months...


----------



## = n (Nov 17, 2004)

welcome AlexXD, you seem much more mature than i was when i was 13. Because you're relatively young I have a feeling if you get the right treatment this thing could really clear up and even disappear for you (when i was 13 and getting symptoms i didn't have the faintest idea what was going on! i thought i was just 'unique' haha).

Well good luck (with your kneecap too!)


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

= n said:


> welcome AlexXD, you seem much more mature than i was when i was 13. Because you're relatively young I have a feeling if you get the right treatment this thing could really clear up and even disappear for you (when i was 13 and getting symptoms i didn't have the faintest idea what was going on! i thought i was just 'unique' haha).
> 
> Well good luck (with your kneecap too!)


Hah. Thanks n. I'm going for a few blood tests this coming monday, and so that should give me _some_ insight into what I do/do not have... I'm testing for Epstein-Barr Virus and all that stuff...
And the only reason that I found out about this so quickly is because I'm a hypochondriac


----------



## Asmodeane (Jan 12, 2008)

Welcome to the forums! Although I'm so new here myself that I'm not even sure I have the right to welcome you.  I hope your bloodwork turns out clean. Perhaps I should have a deeper scan for all sort of nasties myself. And it just struck me, at thirteen I was quite a hypocondriac myself.. Maybe there's a pattern. So whatever you do, do not let yourself go like I did and continue attending your therapy _even after_ you start feeling better, to unearth and properly take care of whatever brought this on. I guess the only other useless piece of advice I can give is the usual "Hang in there, champ". Besides, at your age getting over things might be easier than it is for an aged 27 year old dinosaur such as myself, or at least it was easier for me back then.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Asmodeane said:


> Welcome to the forums! Although I'm so new here myself that I'm not even sure I have the right to welcome you.  I hope your bloodwork turns out clean. Perhaps I should have a deeper scan for all sort of nasties myself. And it just struck me, at thirteen I was quite a hypocondriac myself.. Maybe there's a pattern. So whatever you do, do not let yourself go like I did and continue attending your therapy _even after_ you start feeling better, to unearth and properly take care of whatever brought this on. I guess the only other useless piece of advice I can give is the usual "Hang in there, champ". Besides, at your age getting over things might be easier than it is for an aged 27 year old dinosaur such as myself, or at least it was easier for me back then.


Hah... I'm actually sort of hoping it will turn out that I have mononucleosis or lyme or something so that it is not some hidden cause and one that can be cured ... because I have to act as the lead in a play in march, and DP wouldn't help


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Is it possible that something in a daily multivitamin could be causing my DP?


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

AlexXD said:


> Is it possible that something in a daily multivitamin could be causing my DP?


Does anyone have an answer to this? Because I have stopped taking my multivitamin and my depersonalization has been _reversing_... like I am going through the symptoms that led me on the way to the "climax", or so to speak, of my DP. I have been getting better, too...

Ideas???


----------



## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I don't know. Just want you to know I am getting tested for lyme also. I've had DP/DR for a year now with an unknown cause. I like what you said about hoping the tests turn out positive. I really hope I test positive so I can know what is wrong with me. Well goodluck and let me know what test results you get.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

surfingisfun001 said:


> I don't know. Just want you to know I am getting tested for lyme also. I've had DP/DR for a year now with an unknown cause. I like what you said about hoping the tests turn out positive. I really hope I test positive so I can know what is wrong with me. Well goodluck and let me know what test results you get.


I actually haven't taken the tests yet. I am just continuing with not taking my multivitamin, as I appear to be going backwards through all the phases I had went through. Anyone else had such "phases"?
Also, I thought I'd mention that whenever I play a game like Halo 3, my symptoms are aggrevated, so I like feel disconnected from the world. What could this be a sign of?


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Asmodeane said:


> Welcome to the forums! Although I'm so new here myself that I'm not even sure I have the right to welcome you.  I hope your bloodwork turns out clean. Perhaps I should have a deeper scan for all sort of nasties myself. And it just struck me, at thirteen I was quite a hypocondriac myself.. *Maybe there's a pattern*. So whatever you do, do not let yourself go like I did and continue attending your therapy _even after_ you start feeling better, to unearth and properly take care of whatever brought this on. I guess the only other useless piece of advice I can give is the usual "Hang in there, champ". Besides, at your age getting over things might be easier than it is for an aged 27 year old dinosaur such as myself, or at least it was easier for me back then.


Hmm... could the pattern perhaps be OCD? I was just thinking, and maybe our bodies always have to be doing something, so we're simply over-exhausting ourselves...
But I don't know.

EDIT: It seems that a new symptom has also developed in the past two days: really severe headaches in the left side of my head :/
Ugh.
I hate this disease.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

AlexXD said:


> Asmodeane said:
> 
> 
> > Welcome to the forums! Although I'm so new here myself that I'm not even sure I have the right to welcome you.  I hope your bloodwork turns out clean. Perhaps I should have a deeper scan for all sort of nasties myself. And it just struck me, at thirteen I was quite a hypocondriac myself.. *Maybe there's a pattern*. So whatever you do, do not let yourself go like I did and continue attending your therapy _even after_ you start feeling better, to unearth and properly take care of whatever brought this on. I guess the only other useless piece of advice I can give is the usual "Hang in there, champ". Besides, at your age getting over things might be easier than it is for an aged 27 year old dinosaur such as myself, or at least it was easier for me back then.
> ...


Also, I would like to mention that sometimes I see like little "worm things" in my vision (don't know how else to describe them). They are translucent, but still i can see the outlines, especially when I am in the light. Is this a symptom of anything?
EDIT: Oh, and I thought that I should mention that I saw an eye doctor a few weeks ago, and there was no problem with my eyes except for such minor far-sightedness that I didn't need glasses or anything for it. So these "floaters" are not caused by retinal detachment or anything like that. Also, this is probably more of a psychological symptom, but does anyone else get the feeling that our vision is made up of a bunch of "pixels"? Because that is how my eyes feel sometimes.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Lastly, I was doing some research before, and an old issue of scientific american popped into my mind. "Burnout", or so it is called, is a psychological condition, of which the symptoms are depersonalization, cynicism, and prolonged tiredness. I think this could be what I have, as I have been overworking myself, and may be what some of you have as well... but I don't know.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Hey. It's been a long time since I've posted here last, but I just read this article about this 15 year old who had episodes of lightheadedness, caused by something called POTS, or Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. I was wondering, perhaps this is what I, or some of you, have? I might have it, I think, because I have grown quite a lot in the past years (4 inches or so in the past year) and since I am in my teenage years perhaps this is a cause.

Just thought I'd mention it.


----------



## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

Well, it's officially about one year since my depersonalization first began.

Strangely enough, I've been having longer periods of weak DP the longer I have it. Anyone else notice this?

What I've been focusing on is getting rid of this pesky visual snow. Ignoring it has worked quite nicely; now all i have are these big shadowy floaters that refuse to let themselves be seen.

Lastly, does anyone else find that florescent lights and computer screens (artificial light in general) makes the DP worse?

-Alex


----------

