# My story: 95% DP free for over 5 years



## Guest (Jun 9, 2005)

I have read closely the stories on this site over the years, and others, and totally feel for everyone who has had and is going through this terrible condition. I just wanted to post my thoughts on how I have managed to get on and lead a 'nearly normal' life.

I am 32 and was diagonosed by a doctor at London's Institute of Psychiatry 5 years ago having lived with the condition for as long as I could remember. I thought I was going crazy and was put on every anti-depressant in the book and none really helped. However, as many of you may know, the unit at the Institute of Psychiatry has been doing a great deal of research into Depersonalisation, and after my initial consultation I was put on a daily dose of 30mg of Cipramil, 1.5mg of Klonopin and 200mg of Lamotrigine.

Within weeks my life turned around and I haven't looked back since. I have been fortunate in that these drugs have caused me no side-effects and I have been able to lead a fulfilling life. I managed to finally finish my masters and I got myself a fantastic career. A career that is very stressful at times, and had I not been taking these drugs, my life would not have been worth living.

Some friends don't understand why I need to take these drugs, but the way I see it is that it's like having a headache and taking something for it. I could never go back to that life. A life of non-existance that I had throughout my childhood and younger years, and as far as I'm concerned if it means that I continue to feel well - I will be taking these drugs for the rest of my life. I am happy, stable and secure, and I don't have all the feelings that I used to have associated with DP.

I'm not advocating that you should take medication - each to their own, but I just want to say that if you're thinking of taking them, look at the concoction that has worked for me. I haven't had to increase my doses - which are still (I believe) quite low, and all I do is pop my 3 little pills twice a day and off I go about my life.

Good luck to you all. I hope you find happiness and the way to your recovery.

Take care

Valentine


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Wow, thats awesome Valentine. Good for you. If my DP comes back, I'll probably start on a cocktail very much like that, just probably not as high on the Celexa. How are the sexual side effects? I'm thinking mostly of the celexa.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Guest (Jun 10, 2005)

Hi Homeskooled

One of the problems I had with almost all of the SSRI's was the sexual dysfunction I'd experience. However, after trying them all I found that the small dose of Cipramil has hardly any side-effect. I'd say I'm about 80% up-and-running(!).

Valentine


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

i wonder how your life would be without these 3 pills. probably a hellish kind of existance right?


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## Guest (Jun 21, 2005)

Yes, my life was hellish. I just about scraped through school and pass a couple of exams because I lived in a day-dream throughout my childhood. I mis-behaved and generally thought I was going crazy. I was considered a bright kid but just spent the time looking out of the window in a world of my own. I hope those days never return.


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## orangeaid (Jun 24, 2005)

Just curious because everyone has their own different story/symptoms with dp/dr, what did the medication do for you? Like some people dont have certain symptoms of dp/dr so i was just curious what did it help you on?


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2005)

My dp, I believe, was pretty bad. I lived in a dream like state for years and felt deeply unhappy and lost. I really felt that I was losing my mind and going mad. Now, having taken this medication, I feel happy and content in myself and I'm able to lead a 'normal' life.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

Valentine,

I'm really happy to hear how well you've done. I have a similar story that begins in 1993 with Zoloft and ends in 2005 with no drugs after two months of bad depression, panic attacks, and attempts to increase the Zoloft dosage so that I could enjoy the same quality of life I had for 12 years. I, too, got my masters and a great career.

But, be prepared that you will probably have to adjust your dosage through the years at various intervals. I now am taking no drugs and I'm feeling quite good. No depression, no anxiety. But if the depression comes back, I'll find another anti-depressant.

Just wanted to make sure you are aware that you may not in actuality remain on the drugs for the rest of your life -- or at least at the same dosage.

So, while it's nice to think, "Ahh, I found my solution. Case closed," it isn't ever closed really, because we are always changing.


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2005)

Hi there - thanks for your reply.

I do sometimes think that it would be good to not have to take tablets each day. But the most annoying thing is that I have to see my GP every 2 months (who has no idea about the condition and just keeps asking me why I'm on these tablets - after several years!). One day I will consider cutting back or perhaps I'll find a different solution - but for the moment, liviing in London, busy life etc I can't contemplate any other action.

Take care

Valentine


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2005)

I have been on a similar combination for the past few years and it worked wonders for me. My DP and DR was drug induced back in the early 90's.

Nothing helped until I started cipralex, lamictal and rivotril. I would say that my symptoms reduced 70 - 80% although I did suffer a few side effects like weight gain and memory problems.

I stopped all meds 2 months ago and don't feel too bad but not great, I think I may start taking a low dose of Cipralex again - perhaps 5mgs.

Before I went to the DP centre in London I was a mess and had no future. Now after taking this combination of medication I have a great career and social life and I am far more optomistic about the future.

All the best.


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

hi

i'm feeling pretty good these days but for peace of mind, in case dp returns, how would i go about getting treatment at the london centre? i live in wales.


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2005)

Hi there

When I first heard about the Institute of Psychiatry (Kings College, London) I contacted them myself and they gave me an appointment to meet them for an assessment. I understand that you now need to get a referral from your own doctor before they will see you. If you have a good doctor, this shouldn't be a problem.

Valentine


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Valentine... did they start you out at 200mgs Lamotrigine?

After reading about your success and others' with this drug Lamictal I decided to ask my doc about it. I've been on it for 5 days now but my starting dose is 25mgs only. After two weeks it goes up to 50 and then a few weeks later it goes up to 100mgs.

So far I haven't noticed a change, but I'm hoping it will start working as my dose gets higher. Do you think they started me out on too low a dose? I know you're not a doc, but I'd appreciate your opinion.


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## Guest (Sep 12, 2005)

Hi Peacedove

I was started on a dose of 50mg per day which was increased by 50mgs per week until reaching my current dose of 250mgs.

I woudn't worry about the low dose to start with. I suspect that your doctor wants to increase it slowly so your body adapts to the new drug. Is your doctor planning to increase it to 250mg after a few weeks?

Valentiine


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

I'm not sure what his plans are. He seems to listen to me mostly... so I'm sure he'll increase it until I am feeling better or until it makes me sick.


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2005)

Hopefully you should feel some good from them soon, and they won't make you sick (!). Good luck!


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## Guest (Sep 15, 2005)

Hey everyone,
I've been lurking for a while, but wanted to post a question (my first). I have suffered with DP for about 20 years. The thing is, I have grown so used to it that unless I am obsessing or thinking about it, I don't feel the symptoms. My question is this. Is anyone able to think about their DP, yet not be experiencing it at the same time? I obsess over it a few times a week, and during those times, my dp does hits me, sometimes pretty hard. I do realize how fortunate I am that I don't deal with it constantly, but want to not have to deal it with at all. Any advice/comments are appreciated.

Ken


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Well hopefully in three years... my 20 yr. mark, I will stop feeling the symptoms of DP. I can't think about my DP and not experience it at the same time. I have it 24/7.

You say you obsess over it a few times a week and then the DP hits you hard? Is it possible for you to thought-stop? Instead of thinking of DP think of something else? There's this book by Lucinda Basset.... I think that's her name... Power Over Panic or something like that. Maybe if you look into that that will help you.

My problem is I seem to be having unconscious thoughts. Cuz my therapist told me my thoughts create my feelings... but I seem to be having feelings without thoughts. He says there are thoughts, but I just can't recall them cuz they're unconscious. So I'm supposed to be hypnotized or something I forget what he said. You'd think I'd remember something so important.


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## Guest (Sep 19, 2005)

I'll check out the book. Thanks for the advice peace dove.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Ok I'm starting week 4 of Lamictal. If I don't start to feel better I'm gonna get even more depressed. Most psychiatric meds take like a month to work so chances are if I don't feel any different by the end of this week then I won't at all. I'll stick it out though cuz after this week I go up to 100mgs. Maybe I'll do two weeks at 100mgs and if that doesn't work I guess I should stop?


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

hmmmm peace I would work my way up to 200 mgs and THEN give it a month.. just my opinion.


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## enigma (Feb 18, 2005)

A quote from Uni-girl (who is wise in the ways of these things):



university girl said:


> I recall from that study out of King's College that showed a 40% success rate when treating DPers with lamictal that the target dose was 250 mg.


Though the maximum dosage for Lamictal is about 500 mgs.

I'm at 200 mgs right now (as I've already mentioned), and don't intend to stop there.

Good luck with it, peace.

e


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

How did you go about convincing your MD to write a lamotrigine prescription for you? I've found that very few psychiatrists have a clue what DP/DR are, much less what the latest research is. They can be really resentful if you hand then a psychiatry journal abstract, though, since you're essentially confronting them with the fact that they don't know their job. Saying "I'll have the lamotrigine/paxil combo, with a side order of klonopin" doesn't tend to get you very far either (unless you're ordering off the internet). Any tips you can give me to steer him in the lamotrigine direction would be greatly appreciated. My appointment is this Thursday, so I need to start rehearsing my lines asap.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Yeah, in my experience most doctors don't know anything about DP. Quite frustrating... especially when I didn't know about it either but was experiencing it . I am self-diagnosed along with most people on this site probably.

So now any psychiatrist/therapist I see I print out a description of Depersonalization and ask them to read it. The meds my doc had me on weren't lifting my DP... so I said remember when I told you about that depersonalization I have? He said yes. I asked if he heard of Lamictal. He said yes. I told him that the DP research unit in London was using this med to treat DP and I'd like to try it. And he prescribed it.

You say psychiatrists would be resentful if you showed them about Depersonalization and that may be true in some cases, but have you ever tried. Please try it. Cuz they really don't know and they need to. As soon as I mentioned depersonalization he should have looked up what the latest, most successful med for it was. But for some reason they just don't work that way.

Don't just say hey I want this med. Print out the descriptions on the homepage of this site. Highlight what you think is most important for him to see cuz he probably won't read the whole thing. Tell him you go to this support forum and people suffering from the same symptoms you are are being helped by this med. Tell him it's being used with a 40% succes rate by the DP unit in London.

Let me know how it goes.


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

Thanks, peacedove. Yeah, I think I'll take your recommendation and go ahead and print out the articles and hi-lite them. He may be reluctant to prescribe lamotrigine out of fear of an interaction with MAOI's (there are none), so I may also talk to a pharmacist first as well for supporting documentation. If my appointment is a total failure, there's always www . unscrupulous-doctor-who-will-give-anything-to-anyone .com. One way or another, I'll soon be posting a report on how well the stuff is working. It really needs to be tried on a large number of people so we can determine once and for all how much it helps. Oh, and there's also the fact that I just plain want to feel better; DP/DR get awfully old after a while.


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

peacedove said:


> Yeah, in my experience most doctors don't know anything about DP. Quite frustrating... especially when I didn't know about it either but was experiencing it . I am self-diagnosed along with most people on this site probably.
> 
> So now any psychiatrist/therapist I see I print out a description of Depersonalization and ask them to read it. The meds my doc had me on weren't lifting my DP... so I said remember when I told you about that depersonalization I have? He said yes. I asked if he heard of Lamictal. He said yes. I told him that the DP research unit in London was using this med to treat DP and I'd like to try it. And he prescribed it.
> 
> ...


I never thanked you for how well your advice worked re: giving my doctor the info from the London DP unit. He was skeptical about writing a lamotrigine script at first, but I e-mailed him the abstract and he called back saying that he found it fascinating. He went on to say that he subsequently read all of the other DP papers mentioned on the site. Oh, and he also called in a lamotrigine script. So thank you very much, two weeks late.

Are you feeling any better than last time I asked? Are you up to 200 mg yet?


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

That's awesome your doc. found the research so fascinating. I wish my doc was more interested.

Not feeling any better, but still at 100mgs. Hopefully I'll go up to 150 or 200 when I see my doc next week.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

.


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

poonanny said:


> Are any of you guys who are taking lamotrigine bipolar? i think thats its primary use. is your DP a symptom of your bipolar disorder?


I'm pretty sure I'm not. I can go from being annoyingly cheerful to being a grumpy, irritable jerk faster than you can say 'cyclothymia', but I don't think I'm truely bipolar. I'm not sure how you tell, though.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

edit. earlier post possibly considered poor taste.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

oops. mispost ( is that a word ? )


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

You took out the "husbands" post? I thought it was funny!


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2005)

How are peacedove and Tom Servo doing with their meds?

I think I saw that Servo is doing well, but peacedove??????????

Are Lamictal and Lamotrigine the same drug?


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