# Without hesitation being yourself



## DM (Aug 12, 2004)

Haven't been here for some time.

Well, my DP/DR started as a natural reaction to despair. Although very bad things did happen to me (from my point of view) I always told myself that things would be better. I always imagined a brighter future. It calmed me down. However - the more and more I lost control (in my head) over my own destiny I felt more and more depressed and anxious. Even my fantasies could not calm me anymore. That both my fears and my calming fantasies were just products of my brain to calm down my deeper feelings I did not know.

Once I lost faith in the fact that I could control things in life, and that everything would be as I imagined it, I was struck by DP/DR. I was suddenly overwhelmed by such a fear that it instantly turned itself into DP/DR.

This symptom is hard to bear, but it is a natural reaction in extreme stress situations. It can be very handy by the way - it tempers extreme flight reactions (emotional) to a level in which the rational side can decide what to to best (in a split second).

However, once I lost faith in the ability to control the normal things in life DP/DR was there again (extreme). I flooded with my own body, with the environment. I was institutionalised because all the psychiatrist I spoke with thought I was on the brink of psychosis. And I became afraid of the symptom! :lol: I was institutionalised for a year by the way. At that time the only thing I could think of was: DO NOT GET MAD! And I did not!

Once I told myself that even insanity was better than DP/DR and I started to do all the things I wanted to do and by that reverting the causality of things, I started to cure! The real problem was that I was experiencing psychological stress, because of that fear I fled into fantasies, and once that did not work, extreme anxiety and despair and voila DP/DR came by to help me (sounds causally plausible?).

Let's return to the psychological stress - that's the cause! Although very tempting to look for a medical explanation (of course it is a chemical imbalance!) - the cure lies somewhere in the mind, feelings, in the past. Some things are causing DP/DR. What? I know it for myself - it was very hard to find out - and trust me: it's impossible to figure it RATIONALLY out by your own - it will only cause more DP. But by ignoring the fear of DP/DR, and actually starting to fullfil some deeper needs it will start to fade. The chemical inbalance can be balanced again.

Emotions are the key word here. What are your emotions telling you at a particular moment. If you can act instanteneously on them - you'll feel immediate relief.

Without hesitation being yourself - that's the cure.

In the beginning it will be very short episodes. But than, at least, you'll win confidence in the fact that you are the master of DP.

For example - I was very afraid of conflicts; hence I avoided them and fled into fantasies. This makes DP worse. However, if I let my angriness 'come out'- I felt immediate relief (for a couple of minutes in the beginning). The same with love, hatred, passion, disgust....etc. etc. You can start with it right this moment! By simply _feeling and acting_ upon feelings, instead of rationalizing (them away), I felt...well...relief! I suddenly smelled the blossoms in spring (I know it sounds corny); normally I was walking the streets while constantly thinking...

By ignoring DP and listening to the little things my emotions were telling me, and as I moved on, to the bigger ones. If in utter despair (as I was) - ignore DP and go out and try to do the things which scare you most. And act on impulse.

This is the way I have beaten DP - although the mechanism is still intact (for which I am very happy).

Try this one out - find a sceptic of your DP/DR state - listen to the words...what do they do to you emotionally? I bet you are angry. And how do you react? I bet it will be a rational reaction - based on that person and what you need of him (f.e. medication, comforting words, understanding) you'll define in a split second your reaction. And here comes DP/DR into play - ignoring feelings and acting (pretending) that you are not what you feel! And I bet that you do this a lot, in all kind of situations. The perfect actor - but never yourself.

Hope this will help someone around here :wink:


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## Guest (Oct 26, 2004)

> And here comes DP/DR into play - ignoring feelings and acting (pretending) that you are not what you feel! And I bet that you do this a lot, in all kind of situations. The perfect actor - but never yourself.


do that long enough, and you forget who you are.

then you forget IF you are.

then you doubt if you ever were.

and DP can take over, actual sensory perceptions that reflect the ultimate self-lie. Am I real? Do I exist?

And, I know many folks won't agree with these ideas. But it sure as hell was true for me, and I thought it sounded like crap myself (for oh, maybe the first few years I heard it).

Very very cool, Des.

Congratulations on a self well-earned.

Peace,
Janine


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## Guest (Oct 26, 2004)

All I can say is

it's just so true what you say, Des.



> Hope this will help someone around here


Yes, definitely, because I know there is someone who backs me up on this opinion and approach!
When we decide to act upon our feelings and arent exercised, support and validation is just very very important.


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## freesong (Dec 26, 2005)

I would add that for some it is just psychological stress but for others it is stress on the brain and body by other stressors.( physiological) But, yes, indeed the stress must decline for us to be cured. Postive thoughts, exercise, eating correctly, good sleep, toxins out, good stuff in. ( Garbage in.... garbage out!!) ( genetic predispositions fixed in whatever manner) and we all should be good to go. Not really that simple but that is the theory I have at this time.


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## lies (Nov 14, 2005)

this topic is one for me
i'm glad to read this!
yes, i'm doing this too, rationalizing is one of the things i allways ever do!!
so just letting the feelings in at the time
but how do you do that, i mean, just stop yourself from rationalizing?
and let in what's hidden?
that seems so impossible to do..

thnx for your post

xxx


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## Eric8 (Jun 30, 2006)

You hit that on the head man. You have to be spontaneous and accepting to all circumstances in order to overcome. You don't even have to get rid of fear and i thi nk thats what throws a lot of people off (like myself). Theres nothing wrong with fear, BE CONTENT WITH IT.


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