# A little reassurance please....



## Samaral (Mar 26, 2012)

It's funny... We can recognize we have depersonalization, but there is always a little voice asking if it is something more... Or something worse than everyone else.

Anyhow Im having a moment I need a little reassurance.
My fog has lifted slightly, I dont have dreamy vision as much as I did in the past..but my problem is that all day and night I cannot feel present. Especially in the midle of the night when I wake up I am confused, I am convinced I am insane, my existential thoughts are magnified x1000 when I wake in the night. I am stuck in this cycle of not being able to connect to anyone or things, my mind keeps returning to where we came from, feeling lost, empty. I feel like I cannot move forward with my life. I often feel like my thoughts absolutely mind f*ck me and in one moment I can feel insane. I try and do things to keep busy but my mind always wanders back there. I can be sitting here and start freaking out about anatomy and having a skull and a brain and how gross and weird it seems (thats my latest freakout obsession... Its always something) I am coping as best as I can but its horrible feeling detached from your own life.

All I know is sometimes this feeling is unexplainable and feels much more horrible than I could ever explain...
I just needed some reassurance today. That this is DP, that I am not alone in feeling like this, not crazy and that the total isolated, scared shitless and that this empty, going through the motions feeling is "normal"

And a question, does anyone here experience the disconnect, feeling of being empty and lost, existential 'big' thoughts without the dreamy vision.... Ive had both at the same time but again the cloudy eyes eventually lifted.

Love and thanks

Sarah
(Ps also if anyone is local to me in Vancouver and surrounding areas Id love to meet up)

Hugs to everyone.


----------



## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

I feel insane too, trust me, nothing you desscribed sounds insane. I would way rather be dealing with existential thoughts instead of the ones I'm having which tend to be "paranoid-delusional" themed. I actually think I'm crazy.

I also live close to Vancouver.


----------



## Samaral (Mar 26, 2012)

Jayd Ive read lots of your posts. Im in Surrey, I would love to meet up and chat....


----------



## Guest (Apr 28, 2012)

10 times a day I question whether I am losing my mind or not. I have the same thoughts as you.


----------



## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

sarah... i am the same as u... i feel sooo freaked out about the existential thoughts i am having.. u wudnt believe wat goes through my head... i am not numb anymore.. nor do i have dreamy vision but i feel completely like i am seeing everything for the first time... i wonder how i got here,, how my brain works n why... and the fact that anything exists freaks me out.. im like ''wtf am i doing here!! '' UGHHHHH its so scarey... if u wanna talk sum more im here.... always on chat too.


----------



## Konshens (Nov 21, 2012)

any1 here?


----------

