# You do not know the answers. Stop promoting falsehood.



## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

Today I feel upset, upset at this site and the people on it. I read through so many different posts, threads, and comments, all indicating that they KNOW the cause and cure for Depersonalization. These FACTS are handed out like candy to everyone who is scared, nervous, and in a state of desperation, looking for any and all answers they can find. DP is caused only by the mind. DP is caused only by drugs. DP is only caused by past stress and pain. DP is all in your head. DP is caused by gluten. I realize that these are all reasonable causes and have reasonable solutions, but when you state them as solid fact, and dismiss all other outcomes, resources, and options, I think that discredits a lot of peoples handwork and research. DPDR is a multi-faced, varied symptom beast, which has been caused by different situations for different people. I believe the most productive thing we can do on here is have an open mind for open discussion and not turn away specific ideas or be hypnotized by a certain following. Without a link, source, or study to back what you are laying out, how can you tell someone anything about Depersonalization other than your own personal experience. My point I am trying to get across is that DPDR effects us all differently but at the same time it brings us all together, in a unique community where we need to tackle our issues with respect, an open mind, and a scientific approach. There is enough ego-boosting, snake oil magic answers out there on the internet, let us please be the much needed filter. Please dont disregard the hundreds of studies and journals detailing DPDR in your one sentence, all-knowing, power statement.

/rant

EDIT: I just want peoples thinking to go from this:

DPDR *is* caused/cured by whatever,

to:

DPDR *may be *caused/cured by whatever.


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## Guest (Mar 30, 2014)

I used to think this too, and got mad at people who acted like they knew everything - until I actually started to the research and realize I related a lot to Harris Harrington's program... and based on what I've seen a lot of other people with DP have faced similar circumstances in their lives and relationships.

If depersonalization was caused by any other reasons I'd feel even more discouraged.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

seafoam mellow said:


> I used to think this too, and got mad at people who acted like they knew everything - until I actually started to the research and realize I related a lot to Harris Harrington's program... and based on what I've seen a lot of other people with DP have faced similar circumstances in their lives and relationships.
> 
> If depersonalization was caused by any other reasons I'd feel even more discouraged.


IF depersonalization was caused by any other reasons? Based on what you've seen? This is what I am talking about, you have now stated that there is only one form of DPDR and that all other forms and answers are not valid, in your personal opinions.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

I respect your opinions but please dont disregard mine so easily. If you truly used to think like me you would understand that I am not mad at people, I am purely just upset with the state of things here.


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## rodenhiser (Jan 24, 2013)

People don't hand out false hope like candy. People want to help other people feel more comfortable in their state of mind.

People would rather hear that they're going to be okay, and to hear things that might help them, rather than to be told "We have no idea what's going to cure you, or make you feel better, so good luck".

If that were the case, there wouldn't be a need for a forum, just a website that says "*GOOD LUCK GETTING BETTER!*" with a few links on Depersonalization study.

The fact of the matter is, at least from what I've learned from the people around here, is that people want to help other people. I'm not recovered from depersonalization, but I know what helps me. I know what can help others. Will it help everyone? No. Will anything help everyone? Not necessarily, no. People go by what they've learned, and they want to spread that knowledge. Some people are pushy about it, and other's just try and lend a helping hand.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of 'know it alls' who seem to think they know the cures and causes of depersonalization. But it *is* different for everyone. For the most part, people just want to help.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

rodenhiser said:


> People don't hand out false hope like candy. People want to help other people feel more comfortable in their state of mind.
> 
> People would rather hear that they're going to be okay, and to hear things that might help them, rather than to be told "We have no idea what's going to cure you, or make you feel better, so good luck".
> 
> ...


I think you are missing my point, I want people to share more, I want people to get help and find their way through this community, but I also want them to think for themselves and not be so blind. I also said Falsehood, not falsehope.... Spread as much information as possible!!! But at the same time dont close your mind to other options and treatments, there isnt 1 answer, there isnt 1 cure, there are so many sides to DPDR , I want people to see all the choices and options, not just the popular ones or ones that go viral.

TLDR: I just want things to go from this:

DPDR is caused/cured by this.

to:

DPDR might be caused/cured by this.

Anyways, thank you for your replies, I appreciate the discussion and seeing how others feel about my post in the "How I feel today" section.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

Selig said:


> Good topic. A multifaceted, open minded approach to recovery seems to be ideal.
> 
> Source: The advice of four psychologists, two psychiatrists and two physicians


Well , that is funny Selig, I do appreciate humor in this website.

I posted this in "How I feel Today", not in other sections, like the DPDR discussions, because I dont need to be ridiculed or made to feel bad about my feelings of the matter.

Anyways, I am not in the mood to be debating everyone in this thread, I just wanted to type out my feelings today. Sorry if it offends, angers, or makes people laugh. Cheers

^^^^EDIT: Sorry, I am not fully awake, feeling very emotional today, thought I read sarcasm, I apologize Selig.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

Selig said:


> I'm confused by this response, I was supporting your thread.


Sorry Selig, I am very emotional this morning, I thought I read sarcasm. I apologize man. Thank you for the post.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

Vanmichael there s no study more representative that our own symptoms...we are all subjects of the studies that have been made about dp. So people on here say what they think, how they "feel" and so on. We are free to read or not read the posts. I know you feel desperate, I feel the same..stay strong!


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

The thing I look forward to most in life is the moment when I can come onto this forum and write the longest thread ever about how I recovered. If I can do this, I will probably write a book about what I went through as well, no joke.

Hopefully that point won't take too much longer to reach, though right now it seems impossible.

Until that moment, I won't give anyone advice on how to 'recover' or ever say 'I'm 90% recovered' like so many others do. Your either recovered, or your not, there's no middle ground. I agree with the OP, people shouldn't give out advice or act like they have an answer unless you are back to normal.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

"I have a solution." Sounds a lot better and more promising then "I have a solution that might, possibly, maybe, potentially apply to you, but perhaps not." Which is wishy-washy. Sounding assertive and confident about a solution or information is important

It's well withing people abilities to decide if something applies to them or not. Also, there is a difference between saying "this is the only solution" and simply not having a bold-print disclaimer stating that the information may not apply to everyone.

Actually, using the gluten thing as an example, if someone recovered by taking gluten out of their diet, then DP/DR IS caused by gluten. If that person made a thread saying DP/DR is caused by gluten, it wouldn't be the same as saying DP/DR is ONLY caused by gluten; these are to different statements.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Midnight said:


> The thing I look forward to most in life is the moment when I can come onto this forum and write the longest thread ever about how I recovered. If I can do this, I will probably write a book about what I went through as well, no joke.
> 
> Hopefully that point won't take too much longer to reach, though right now it seems impossible.
> 
> Until that moment, I won't give anyone advice on how to 'recover' or ever say 'I'm 90% recovered' like so many others do. Your either recovered, or your not, there's no middle ground. I agree with the OP, people shouldn't give out advice or act like they have an answer unless you are back to normal.


People who are in the process of recovering have as much useful inforamtion as those who are already recovered, because they are the ones exploiting that information and proactively trying new things.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

wow, did any of you actually read my posts... you are turning a very negative spin on my words. You are taking what I am saying and putting all the negative connotations available as a comment. All I wanted is to express my views and prod people to be a bit more open minded and see all the facts and options before subscribing to one cause and one cure. I was merely trying to show that there are various causes and cures that we should all investigate. I never put forth anything to negate or hide techniques of recovery, or shunning different methods. Just because you dont have a concrete answer for yourself doesnt mean you have to be rude and be condescending towards others. Instead of butting heads with my post, why not embrace the fact that I want information to grow and spread as much as possible for the benefit of all people on here. Or not, dont fucking like it, argue, laugh at it, do whatever.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Vanmichael said:


> wow, did any of you actually read my posts... you are turning a very negative spin on my words. You are taking what I am saying and putting all the negative connotations available as a comment. All I wanted is to express my views and prod people to be a bit more open minded and see all the facts and options before subscribing to one cause and one cure. I was merely trying to show that there are various causes and cures that we should all investigate. I never put forth anything to negate or hide techniques of recovery, or shunning different methods. Just because you dont have a concrete answer for yourself doesnt mean you have to be rude and be condescending towards others. Instead of butting heads with my post, why not embrace the fact that I want information to grow and spread as much as possible for the benefit of all people on here. Or not, dont fucking like it, argue, laugh at it, do whatever.


And I'm trying to say that just because people don't put a big MAYBE and other disclaimers in their information, that they aren't trying to imply they found the one-and-only cure, which is what you seem upset about.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

Pyrite said:


> And I'm trying to say that just because people don't put a big MAYBE and other disclaimers in their information, that they aren't trying to imply they found the one-and-only cure, which is what you seem upset about.


I am not talking about those people, disclaimers, or headlines. I was talking about people in conversation, who disregard and dismiss all other information and follow 1 cause and cure concretely.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Vanmichael said:


> I am not talking about those people, disclaimers, or headlines. I was talking about people in conversation, who disregard and dismiss all other information and follow 1 cause and cure concretely.


I've always taken the anxiety/psychology approach concretely, because it was the one that applied to me the most. So, 90% of the time I don't give much mind to the medication/diet side of things for personnel reasons, and because what I'm already doing is working well. I got through the absolute worst of DP/DR by strictly treating it as if it was all in my head and pure anxiety, which worked spectacular and I got out much quicker then I would have if I was messing around with medication or special diets. After that I put anxiety on the sidelines and began to focus on the psychological aspects of DP/DR, because those were what I saw as being responsible for the anxiety that began the DP/DR mess to begin with. So, I disregard medication and diets for myself and I was right in doing so, and I would tell other people to disregard them if it is clearly not helping them, and to focus on something else for a while.

So, following a single concrete solution isn't always a bad thing, because any solution's needs a serious level commitment and devotion.

But, yes, anyone who says something is NEVER a solution is going to have a bad time of recovering.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

I must apologize to everyone, I was having a very emotional morning and I did not take the time to think things out very clearly. I hope everyone can understand that I posted this in the "How I feel Today" section because it was truly how I was feeling this morning, but not necessarily how I feel now, so I am sorry for coming off rude and ignorant towards different things and people. Lets all get back to recovering! I hope you can understand. Thanks.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Nice post and I completely agree with u


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## Guest (Apr 3, 2014)

MiketheBike said:


> I must apologize to everyone, I was having a very emotional morning and I did not take the time to think things out very clearly. I hope everyone can understand that I posted this in the "How I feel Today" section because it was truly how I was feeling this morning, but not necessarily how I feel now, so I am sorry for coming off rude and ignorant towards different things and people. Lets all get back to recovering! I hope you can understand. Thanks.


Completely understand Mike.. sometimes just going for a good long hard ride can make all the difference! Maybe give that a try?


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