# Things I have to look FORWARD TO



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

As much as my mind does not vibe this way, being positive is the only way I've been able to not kill myself having this horrible protective mechanism. If I think about dp and being like this for another year or a life time and how I won't be able to accomplish my goals because of it, etc I quickly spiral into a very dark depression. I've started to do that again and realized last night that I need to kick my own butt and change my thinking. SOOOOOOOO I'm going to make a list of things I still have to look forward to. You can add to my list if you can think of anything. I need to write it out and look at it so that I can keep my head in the right place.

1. RECOVERY! I absolutely cannot deny that I seem to be headed toward recovery. Even two months ago I was MUCH MUCH worse than I am right now. And I have been able to look back and see that every two months I seem to be better than before. Yes, I didn't want to have dp for a year but when that year passed, I was ok with it. Now I have recovery to look forward to and everything that brings along! Reality, beauty, feeling, atmosphere, lack of fear. It's a billion things that dp is not and they are all ahead of me.

2. True love. I just got divorced and in a way it felt like my chance might have ended. I'm realizing today that now is my chance to actually find the right person for me. My ex was never right for me. He was abusive and never loved me more than himself. Not all love is like that and the dreams that I had as a young woman can still be realized in a better man. I can still have a truly loving partnership. I can still have peace and happiness and dreams come true. My chance isn't over. I'm finally FREE to find that right person.

That's all I can come up with. Help me out


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## Kellysmom (Sep 23, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> As much as my mind does not vibe this way, being positive is the only way I've been able to not kill myself having this horrible protective mechanism. If I think about dp and being like this for another year or a life time and how I won't be able to accomplish my goals because of it, etc I quickly spiral into a very dark depression. I've started to do that again and realized last night that I need to kick my own butt and change my thinking. SOOOOOOOO I'm going to make a list of things I still have to look forward to. You can add to my list if you can think of anything. I need to write it out and look at it so that I can keep my head in the right place.
> 
> 1. RECOVERY! I absolutely cannot deny that I seem to be headed toward recovery. Even two months ago I was MUCH MUCH worse than I am right now. And I have been able to look back and see that every two months I seem to be better than before. Yes, I didn't want to have dp for a year but when that year passed, I was ok with it. Now I have recovery to look forward to and everything that brings along! Reality, beauty, feeling, atmosphere, lack of fear. It's a billion things that dp is not and they are all ahead of me.
> 
> ...


There you go...that's a good attitude. You can also think about things like maybe being a mom someday...or small things like a vacation, or the holidays. It sounds like you are headed in the right directions. Congratulations.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Kellysmom said:


> There you go...that's a good attitude. You can also think about things like maybe being a mom someday...or small things like a vacation, or the holidays. It sounds like you are headed in the right directions. Congratulations.


Lol I have 3 kids.


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## BusyBee (Aug 7, 2010)

Being healthy. When my DP goes eventually I know ill be in perfect health. My tests show that I am fit to be an athlete even if i do nearly faint everytime i try to run 10 yards. After all the health foods ands vitimins ive been gobbling ill be fit to take on the world...

Keep up the positive thinking


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## Minerva8979 (Jan 30, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> Lol I have 3 kids.


And their lives are something to look forward to! lol


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

bee1 said:


> Being healthy. When my DP goes eventually I know ill be in perfect health. My tests show that I am fit to be an athlete even if i do nearly faint everytime i try to run 10 yards. After all the health foods ands vitimins ive been gobbling ill be fit to take on the world...
> 
> Keep up the positive thinking


That's a good point. I've also been through the ringer with test and have blood draws every 2 months. They all come back annoyingly normal lol.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I look forward to traveling again.. I'd really love to go to New York!








Or just going outside with my kids without the weird thoughts and sensations... And to have an identity as a healthy person! Feeling I'm worth the same as other people. *Feeling love!*
I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually really looking forward to getting a job too. Making money and buying a place that's all mine. And have sex! Without faking it







lol

Thanks for posting something positive. It makes my life better to know there's another mom out there, like you.


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> That's a good point. I've also been through the ringer with test and have blood draws every 2 months. They all come back annoyingly normal lol.


Thanks for starting this list. It helps me out, for sure. The one that comes to mind for me is helping other people by talking about what's happened to me with dp/dr. I actually am not very good at it, maybe because of shame and fear of what people might think, but, when I do, it helps me, and people who have been or are going through something similar can relate, too.


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## darrenalex (Oct 23, 2009)

What comes to mind I think its helping others to talk about what happened to me dp / dr. I am not very good at it, perhaps because of shame and fear of what people think, but when I do, that helps me, and people who have been or are going through something like this may also apply.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

darrenalex said:


> What comes to mind I think its helping others to talk about what happened to me dp / dr. I am not very good at it, perhaps because of shame and fear of what people think, but when I do, that helps me, and people who have been or are going through something like this may also apply.


I had the single most satisfying experience with talking to someone about dp about a month back. I met this person after I went on a video that was played before each service at church. I talked about dp and how it had made me doubt the existence of God. This guy added me on facebook and we talked and then he came over one night and said that it was really F'd up how I went through something so traumatic that it caused me to have dp. Like no one had truly acknowledged that fact before. No one had given me indication that they deeply felt how horrific it is to go through a trauma so bad that your brain has to shut off. But he did and he voiced it and he didn't think I was crazy like most people do. He truly sympathized and that was pure awesome. It was like someone was finally affirming how I feel, unlike most people (doctors mainly) who either think I have a personality disorder (aka I'm making it up) or they think I just need to take drugs and stfu.


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