# New - DP/DR for about a month, panic-attack / weed-induced



## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Hi all,

I've had DP for about a month now. The way I got it is a bit different than others. It was because of weed, but indirectly.

Here is how I got it. About 2 months ago I was having trouble sleeping. A co-worker of mine offered me an edible and suggested I take it to help me fall asleep. I've never been a big weed or drug user, but decided to give it a try anyway. Big mistake. I had a small piece at first. About an hour later I noticed I wasn't feeling anything, so I took another bite. A few minutes later the effects hit me hard. I tried to stay calm. I went to the bathroom to splash water on my face but looking in the mirror freaked me out. De-realization hit me HARD and I had a mental breakdown. I won't go into details of some of the crazy thoughts I was thinking since it might be a trigger, but it's similar to some of the experiences I've read on here. Thank God my parents and my brother were home. During a moment of clarity I was able to tell my brother I had an edible and begged him to help me. He tried to calm me down, but things only got worse. I was screaming at them to call an ambulance, which they did. Cops and ambulance showed up and took me to the hospital. At the hospital I calmed down a bit. I kept going from delusional to calm. I thought I was going to be stuck in that hell forever and end up in a mental hospital for the rest of my life. The doctors put an IV on and put me to sleep and I knocked out. When I woke up I was at home in bed, wondering if what happened was real or a dream. Unfortunately it was real. The good news was that I was back to my old self for the most part. I was just depressed and haunted by some of the thoughts I was thinking while I was freaking out.

Life was back to normal for the next month, with the exception of me being slightly spacey.

However, one night in the shower I was thinking about some of the thoughts I had on that horrible night. I went a little too deep into thinking and had a major panic attack. It's like I convinced myself the thoughts I had was actually true. I've never suffered a panic attack before so I had no idea what was happening. I tried my best to calm down and get back into reality. Unfortunately it only got worse from there and I haven't been the same since. That night was a normal night and I tried to remain normal for the most part.

The next day I went to work like normal. I was stressed and anxious and felt normal but looking back it definitely was not a normal day. When I got home I went to bed early and made a mental note to speak to my doctor since I was feeling so strange.

When I woke up the following morning, I still felt really strange. I had no idea what was happening. I thought I was getting sick or maybe I had been drinking too much coffee lately, so I decided to skip my morning coffee. I went to work and tried to resume my daily activities but things were not the same. I was out of touch with reality. I don't remember driving to work or what I was doing there. I tried hard to keep it together but things were getting worse every so often. It was like an ongoing nonstop panic attack. It soon became DP/DR and I have been stuck like that ever since.

I called my doctor and made an appointment for anxiety. They said they could see me the next day. I tried to distract myself at work but things were getting worse. It felt like I was dead or in a dream. I left work and got home and tried to calm down. But things were getting worse. I was starting to get suicidal thoughts and was freaking out. I called the doctor again and asked if I could see her that day. I wasn't sure I would make it till the next day. They said they could squeeze me in. I went to my doctor and they prescribed me Lorazepam / Ativan to calm me down and get me through the day, and she suggested I make an appointment with a psychologist and gave me a referral. Also gave me a note to not go to work for 2 weeks until I get things sorted.

The Lorazepam worked pretty good. I was taking 2 a day for the next few days. The first week was really tough. Getting through each day was a struggle, and I had frequent panic attacks and wanted to go to the hospital so they could find a solution as to what was wrong with me.

I saw a psychotherapist a few days later and told her my symptoms. Luckily she gave me the term de-realization and told me to look it up. I finally found the term for what I was going through.

About a week later, we had family come in from out of the country. My aunt was staying with us, while other family members stayed at other relatives house. I was worried about freaking out while they were in town. But it ended up being a blessing. Our extended family was getting together almost every day and this kept me busy and kept my mind off my de-realization / de-personalization. My de-realization was pretty much cured. I wasn't having crazy existential thoughts, but the problem was the "dream" feeling and lack of emotions, always feeling spaced out and being on "auto-pilot".

I did a lab test and results came back normal, so I know this is a mental thing.

So far I have started taking daily vitamins - B12, D, Fish Oil, Zinc and magnesium. I tried l-theanine, which made me feel horrible. And I have been taking Iodine, which seems to help a little bit. I've ordered a ton of other supplements I've heard help on these forums and other places.

Last week my out of town relatives went back home. And since then I feel like I am back at square one. The delusional thoughts have returned as have my panic attacks. So that tells me that socializing and not staying by yourself is a really important step to recovery. I've always had social anxiety and have liked keeping to myself so this will be tough for me. I am working with my psychologist with this but its hard to listen to her since I always feel so spaced out and out of it.

Taking lorazepam / Ativan has been a huge help and when I take it I pretty much feel 100% normal. But I have stopped taking it since I don't want to get addicted or build tolerance. And I want to be fully cured and not just mask my symptoms.

Therapist recommended I see a psychiatrist to see if any meds can help. I have an appointment in a few days with a psychiatrist. I am hoping he understands dp. I am going to try to suggest adderall or other ADHD meds since I heard they help. I have also heard lamotrigine and naltrexone can help so I am hoping he will be open to that.

Anyway this ended up being pretty long. Thank you so much for this site, I am glad to have found it. Although it's hard to sort through the negative posts that make me feel worse and find positive posts that give hope. One thing that has been a huge help is searching for things like "cured", "recovered", or "100%" and reading people's success stories and tips.


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## 58779 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hello, welcome to the forums.

Sorry you have dp/dr. It seems you actually resisted the dp the weed caused at first but later remembered it before you healed completely. It is good that you have already found what is good and bad for you, socializing and distraction are indeed very important to treat dp. In my opinion, you have a high chance of treating it than usual since you get normal with meds and already got better in short time with distractions. And for lots of people dp goes away in several months, if that so don't lose hope with negative posts 

Hope you get better soon!


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Thanks the_nomad and others who messaged me helpful links and info!

I guess I will use this thread to update on what is helping and not helping me. (Not sure if that's allowed, sorry if it isn't)

04/16/2016

Last night I decided to have a talk with my brother about the incident when I had the edible and had a mental breakdown, which was the major cause of my dp. I've heard it can help anxiety to get to the root of what caused it in the first place. I was very nervous, and asked him to explain what happened from the beginning from his point of view and go into detail. Some of what he told me really freaked me out and made my dp a lot worse immediately. Stuff I did and said that I didn't remember. I had to stop him and take a 0.5mg Ativan/Lorazepam to calm down and not freak out. First one I've taken in a couple of days, but I really needed it in this case. Anyway, we talked it out in detail. It was very tough and I actually broke down in tears. But it was kind of a relief to cry. I can't remember the last time I cried. My therapist recommended not holding back any emotions since I've been doing that for years. She told me to express my anger and sadness when I feel it and not hold back. In this case I felt great after all the tears. It was a great moment with my brother, and I'm glad to have him in my life. Once the Ativan kicked in I watched some TV with my parents in the living room and felt so great. Probably the best I have in a month, since this whole thing started. I was very optimistic and at one point was thinking of tips and advice in my head to make a recovery thread in here loll. But I knew that I shouldn't rush things and once the med wore off I would not feel this way.

This morning (04/17) I woke up feeling fine. Decided to go for a walk to church. As soon as I stepped outside I felt dp again and the world felt fake. I was able to keep it together for the most part, and got home a half hour later after visiting the church. I took a nap for an hour. Woke up and had lunch and I feel pretty good now for the most part.

Every day has been a struggle but I do feel like very very slowly I am getting better as long as I remain confident and don't listen to nonsense thoughts that I think of. I know there will be good days and bad days. So far the bad days have been really bad but I have to keep moving forward.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a psychiatrist for the first time. At first I was looking forward to it and hoping I would get prescribed something to help me. But I'm really scared about taking an SSRI / anti-depressant for the rest of my life or something else that could make my dp worst. I do think an ADHD med would help me keep focused since that is my biggest issue right now, and I've also had ADHD-like symptoms. But I've also heard the comedown from ADHD meds makes your dp feel worse, so I'm not sure. There is this story on reddit of adderall curing a guy after he tried over a dozen other meds -

__
https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/2wj5af
I've also read threads on here about lamotrigine and naltrexone curing dp so I am keeping those in mind.

Here are some resources I have found helpful so far:

*reddit.com/r/dpdr* - Another good community of people that have dp. Though sometimes the negativity in there. I suggest searching for "cured", "recovered" etc. or sort the posts by Top posts of all-time. There is a lot of good info there, but ignore the negativity. There are other good communities on reddit too, like /r/anxiety and /r/depression, and I'm sure many others if you suffer from other conditions like PTSD or OCD.

*The Linden Method* - This costs some money, but it's similar to CBT and guides you to recover from anxiety without taking any meds. I've only skimmed through it so far and it seems to have a lot of good info on managing anxiety

*Meditation* - Just started this. I found this link helpful - http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

Supplements

Here is what I have taken so far, and what has helped and what hasn't helped me personally.

Fish Oil - I take about 2000mg a day. Saw a post on here recommending getting a high-DHA one so I switched to that one from the old brand I was taking. Not sure if it helps or not

Vitamin C - I take every day. Always good to take for health and to combat colds.

Vitamin B - I take these twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. Not sure if it helps or not

Vitamin D - I had a vitamin D deficiency a few years ago and ignored my doctor's orders to take Vitamin D pills. At first I thought this was the reason I got dp. The first day I took Vitamin D I felt great. Since then I haven't noticed much difference. I have stopped taking Vitamin D and just stick to B and C now.

Zinc - I was taking these every day along with the Vitamin B, C and D. But would get nausea when I took them together. Not sure if this was the cause or not, so I stopped taking it

Magnesium - I have heard this helps a lot so I ordered some. When I took a couple of 150mg magnesium pills the first day I felt a fog over me and it made my dp worse. I guess it relaxed me but the foggy feeling / vision was not worth it to me. I also took a single pill one night a few days after that before bed, and it wasn't too bad. I felt the fogginess and it got me tired but this time it did make my dp better. So I may try this again one night when I feel anxiety.

Iodine - Though my thyroid panel came back at normal levels, I've heard this could help dp a lot. I have only been doing 1 drop a day in water. I have felt better but I have no idea if it is because of the iodine or not. I read a post on reddit of iodine curing a guy's dp after 5 years which is why I got it.

Melatonin - I used to take 5mg of melatonin every night to help fall asleep and it was a big help. When I first got dp my therapist recommended I cut out caffeine, alcohol and drugs completely, and I decided to cut off melatonin too. I later started taking it again and it helps me get a good night's sleep just like it did before I got dp. I later found out 5mg was a large amount so I bought 1mg version and have been taking that since. I am still experimenting with this to be honest, as some morning I feel too foggy when I wake up with melatonin. When I took it one night with magnesium I woke up feeling horrible, so I will never do that again.

Chamomile Tea - I have been drinking this at night and I love it. It relaxes my body and made quitting coffee a lot easier

5-HTP - After my original weed-induced panic attack and hospital trip, someone recommended these to me. I took them for a few weeks until I had my later panic attack which caused dp. I have a thought that they may have partially caused my dp. In this article it says "Seratonin 5HT2C activators can induce symptoms of dp and dr". Not sure what exactly that means or if its related to 5-HTP, but to stay on the safe side I have completely stopped taking 5-HTP. Here is the article - http://selfhacked.com/2015/07/27/depersonalization-its-causes-and-potential-solutions/

Calm drink (magnesium) - I haven't tried this yet, but it's pretty much magnesium

Rhodiola Rosea - I got some but haven't tried it yet. Need to do more research as I've heard it both helping dp and making dp worse.

GABA - I got some but haven't tried it yet. Seen a few recommendations for it

Valerian Root - I got some but haven't tried it yet. I have heard it's a good natural alternative to benzos like Xanax and Ativan.

L-Glutamine - I got some but haven't tried it yet

Caffeine - Before all of this I was taking 100 - 200mg caffeine pills in the morning, and drinking an additional cup or two throughout the day. At first I wondered if the dp was caused by the caffeine pills. I have since quit completely. And even though caffeine withdrawal was horrible, especially cold turkey, I feel a lot better having cut this out of my life. I did try a half cup of coffee the other day to see if it would help with the fogginess, and it made things worse although it gave me energy to get a lot done which in a way took my mind off of dp.

Alcohol - I would only drink a few times a month before I got dp. I've completely stopped since. But I do want to try to have a small drink the next time I feel anxiety, since I've heard it can help anxiety / dp when you drink a little. I am a bit weary though because my panic attack that caused my dp happened when I had a beer that night. Maybe a coincidence, but I'm not sure.

Nicotine - Never smoked before all of this, except 2nd hand of course lol

Weed / other drugs - Was never a fan before I got dp, and I'm definitely not going to touch it ever again. Although I have heard stories of weed helping a small percentage of people I would never take that risk.


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## mjones (Mar 26, 2016)

I am cured but I still get episodes during my sleep usually when the light is on but it doesn't happen much. Like I wake up from a mini panic attack and dp happens for a few seconds it is slowly going away.

But in general mine is gone. keep your head up man, I got this about 2 months ago but I'm cured pretty much.


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## bkf (Apr 18, 2016)

5-HTP is not something you should take unadvised, I took it some years back and it made me feel really weird and I had taken anti-psychotics before, so I should have been more resistant to it.
Glad to see you are feeling better and I hope that the psychiatrist will help you.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Well I got back from the psych. He prescribed Lexapro. Doing a search on here it seems like it has helped a lot of people. But I am terrified about getting on anti-depressants. I am not sure if this will make my dp worse. I guess I do have some minor depression and social anxiety but I am a lot more worried about getting rid of my dp right now. Maybe helping the social anxiety and depression will help cure the dp, who knows.

Today my dp was pretty bad since I went out of the house to a new doctor's office I've never been to before. I had to wait in the waiting room for a while so the dp got bad at that point. The rest of the day was bad also, until the evening. I took just a half pill of Ativan and suddenly I felt 100%. It's amazing how my mood can shift so rapidly. On the good days I feel really good but the bad days are really bad. Today I experienced both my low point and my high point. Anyway I think I will start the Lexapro tomorrow. He refilled my Ativan too and told me it's fine to continue taking it and will actually help with the side effects of the Lexapro.



mjones said:


> I am cured but I still get episodes during my sleep usually when the light is on but it doesn't happen much. Like I wake up from a mini panic attack and dp happens for a few seconds it is slowly going away.
> 
> But in general mine is gone. keep your head up man, I got this about 2 months ago but I'm cured pretty much.


Thanks! I saw your recovery thread when I searched the site for "100%" the other night and it gave me a lot of hope



bkf said:


> 5-HTP is not something you should take unadvised, I took it some years back and it made me feel really weird and I had taken anti-psychotics before, so I should have been more resistant to it.
> Glad to see you are feeling better and I hope that the psychiatrist will help you.


I agree. I seem to have had a bad reaction to it. I was taking a lot of it the week leading up to my panic attack that caused dp, so I wonder how much of it is to blame. I just got prescribed Lexapro, which increases Seratonin like 5-HTP does, so I am really worried about taking it.


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## gabriele1234 (Apr 20, 2016)

Hello, im writing here to get some help and to find people who are going through DP. If anyone can please write me [email protected]


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

04/25/2016

Thought I would post an update. I still feel like I am on the road to recovery. Every day is still tough and I know it will still take a while but I feel like I will eventually recover.

I have learned to manage my anxiety and fear. Weird DP thoughts don't lead to panic attacks anymore. I just let them pass and I am fine. I am finding this easier to manage as the days go on. I had kind of an eye-opening moment one night when I thought "nothing has changed at all. It's just anxiety that is making me overthink things. Life is just like it was before". There are moments every day where I feel normal, usually when I am focused on a task and not thinking about DP. These moments seem to last longer every day. I have read a lot of advice on here from people that have recovered and almost all of them say distraction and keeping busy is the key. That really seems to be the case and it is helping. I have also been going to the gym again doing cardio mostly. The first time I went I couldn't last more than 15 minutes before freaking out. But I find listening to a podcast, watching NBA on the TV screens and just running and I am fine.

I no longer have a fear of leaving the house and driving. I used to get DP thoughts as soon as I left the house. I used to make sure I had water and a lorazepam with me when I left the house in case I had a panic attack, but that is no longer the case.

I started taking Lexapro at 5mg. I have been on it for a week and haven't noticed much change yet. If anything I have felt a bit better in social situations, but it hasn't affected my dp in any way. I have been having trouble going to sleep though which may be a side effect.

My time perception has gotten better too, which was my biggest worry and worst symptom by far. This has given me a lot of hope for making a full recovery.

The only supplements I am taking now is Fish Oil and Vitamin B Complex. I sometimes take Iodine and Vitamin D and E. I've been eating a ton of vegetables. Just trying to be as healthy as possible.

For the first time since I got DP, I heard a song I liked and I got that nostalgic chill, which made me so happy. I have been laughing and feeling more emotion. Impractical Jokers is a big help with that, lots of laughs.

My biggest issue right now is feeling spaced out. I have trouble staying focused on long conversations. Sometimes I feel like I have gotten dumber than I was before but it's just because of how I feel. I'm really hoping this improves over time..

I have been continuing therapy and it has been helping a lot. I wish I had been seeing a therapist even before I got DP, since I feel like it is helping me in my life overall and not just my DP.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. So far it has been two steps forward one step back. I was feeling very good for a couple of days but when I read a negative post on here it made me relapse. So I learned my lesson to stay away from this site, with the exception of some good recovery threads I have bookmarked that I use for inspiration. I know I will have relapses and there are still bad moments every day. But the biggest thing is that I now have hope and KNOW I will make a full recovery.

Edit: It's crazy how quickly DP can creep up on you when you are feeling good. After I had a good day, at night I felt like crap. I guess it's the 4 hours of sleep last night that caught up with me. I started looking up MRIs and EEGs, and saw a FAQ thread on here that scared me thinking maybe I have something worse than DP. But after getting a good night's sleep, I feel great now and looking back at the thoughts I was having last night they seem silly. I now realize how important sleep is.

04/28/2016

I got my lab blood work results back. Everything is normal except for a few things - low Vitamin D, +1 Ketones (which means I need to eat more and eat more healthy), and high AST levels which is related to the liver. None are DP related but it's inspired me to continue eating healthy.

I also decided to stop the Lexapro after only a week. I really want to beat DP without any meds. I will consider getting back on Lexapro in the future if I find that I have depression or Social Anxiety issues, but for now I want to focus on getting my DP better. I started the taper which I will do for a week then stop completely.

My body has also been numb lately and I am experiencing vertigo, so this has gotten me worried. Hopefully I've been trying to drink more water since this might be a sign of dehydration.


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## Guest (Apr 27, 2016)

Thanks for the update! Glad to hear you are improving. Just keep on doing what you're doing! Constant distraction has been helping me immensely also.

Do you like adult coloring books? I find them soothing and just about every store carries them now. I use colored pencils instead of markers for mine and when I feel really stressed, I sit down and just start coloring.

I love watching Impractical Jokers too. I have a genuine laugh also. It feels like my emotions and personality are finally trying to break through the veil.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Thought I would post an update. It's now been 3 months since my "bad trip" from marijuana, and 2 months since I've had full-blown DP/DR. I have slowly been recovering over the past 2 months, and I would say I'm now at 90%.

I'm sure it will be at least a few more months before I feel 100%, but at least I am able to function and live normally for the most part. Most of my physical symptoms have gone away. All that remains is a bit of brain fog, and some existential thoughts in the evenings when I'm tired. However, these thoughts don't trigger panic like they used to.

I no longer worry about my symptoms and don't browse the internet about DP/DR every day like I used to. This was the biggest breakthrough for me. I promised myself to stay away from this site and stop reading about DP for an entire week. It was hard, and I wanted to research every new symptom I was getting, but I forced myself to ignore my DP and stop researching things. After that things started looking better. I have also been forcing myself out of the house, working out, being social, eating healthy, sleeping good, and other things just to distract myself. I now go through most of the day without having DP.

I had my first cup of coffee the other morning since I've had DP and nothing went wrong, so I was super happy about that. In the past even the small amount of caffeine in green tea would make my DP a lot worse.

Hopefully this keeps up and in a few months I will be fully recovered. I am going to stay away from this site, but when I do reach 100% I will definitely post a recovery thread with everything I have learned. This site has been a huge help for me, even with the negative content there are a lot of good recovery threads with good tips.


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## JacobG (Jun 14, 2015)

Lexapro didn't help me at all. If anything it made me more disconnected. Tried it for almost 2 years


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