# MORE RECOVERY. WHEN EVER YOU ARE READY



## fieldsmatt31 (Dec 16, 2009)

ya you might not feel like you anymore and things might seem odd, dreamy, or estranged. and dont let me scare you cause there is nothing to be afraid of, you will be fine, and it will pass. ill try to give you some advice.

DUDE, dont fight it at all, it will make it worse. itll cause struggle, anxiety, and it could even make the feelings more severe. accept it and dont try to fix it. just be and it will go away. easier said than done i know, so find things that will help you let go of everything. those who seek nothing have everything to gain. have a little faith. sometimes we have to go through a little darkness and fear to come out to the other side, which is rewarding in the end. but i couldnt be anymore serious when i say, to just say fuck it all. drop every attempt and desire to try to understand reality and the self, and trust, and know that your consciousness will sharpen back up. i fought with those feelings for a few years and only made it worse, i became confused, lost, and completely detached. dont try to be you, cause you are you no matter what, even though you may not feel like it all the time. but dont worry because it comes back when you allow it too, it takes no effort, no thought, no struggle, no understanding.

sometimes its not good to try to grasp and understand things with our mind and our thoughts. trust in your self that things will become clear again without you having to concentrate so hard trying to figure it out. cause you cant figure it out. in the end there is nothing to understand, and there is nothing we can do. ya we can create really cool philosophy's, but still, in the end, we have to abandon everything. things like awareness and consciousness cant be controlled or fixed with thought. you have a much deeper intelligence when you stop thinking and evaluating. its kinda like understanding without knowing. like when you were a child, you knew exactly who you were or what you were, but you didnt have to think about it. you may even find it helpful to remember that things make a lot more since when you feel more well. if you are panicking, your thoughts will be negative and scary, and trying to understand things in that state may make you feel worse. just relax, stay calm, and things will become clear.

but yeap, when you truly loose those desires to be "this" or feel "that" and just stop all the desires and appetites for some earthly human attainment like a positive feeling or some kind of understanding you will find light and relief, those things arent yours anyways, they just are. you may find your self in the dark and a little blind, maybe even bored, but like i said sometimes we have to go through that to enter to the other side. without getting in too deep, its kinda like dieing and becoming reborn, even though you will always be what you always truly was.

oh ya and if you're worried about people seeing that you might be scared or struggling with something, fuck it, let them see, who cares. if they judge you as something that you are not, thats their ignorance. we are humans, equal. in the end, we are all one. fuck all your egotistical cravings, they are the cause of most suffering anyways.

hopefully you will realize that you can stop feeding the weirdness, suffering, or any of those strange feelings by quit trying to find a solution. there is no solution. when you can stop feeding it by dropping all attempts to find a solution you will find that the problem begins to die.

takes patience, a little practice, and faith in whatever, consciousness, god, nature, nothing, allah, the universe, brahma, or whatever they call it. faith will guide you out of that darkness and into the light. that may sound very "christian" (and i am not a "christian") but when you say fuck it, drop all those efforts and desires to understand it all and fix it, and put all those issues and worry's into....??? that which is not the ego...you will be fine.

if you really want to control your consciousness than surrender all desires and attempts to control it. there you will find power


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## alphaman (Nov 4, 2005)

Good post. I agree about saying 'fuck it' --- very powerful concept. Fuck the meaning of existence, and fuck it if people think I'm nuts. 
What happens then, at least with me, was much more honesty with other ppl which leads to a lot of positive things. 
I never thought I was christian but in my darkess moments I've prayed to god and jesus. maybe I'm a closet christian.. LOL...
I would add that Dp/DR is traumatic and I think the layer of trauma it can leave has to be healed like any other wound - its funny how there is often an emotional paralysis with DP/DR - I mean, those thoughts are impossible to have when one is actually feeling emotional pain (at least for me) or indeed pleasure. Or probably even physical pain as well.



fieldsmatt31 said:


> ya you might not feel like you anymore and things might seem odd, dreamy, or estranged. and dont let me scare you cause there is nothing to be afraid of, you will be fine, and it will pass. ill try to give you some advice.
> 
> DUDE, dont fight it at all, it will make it worse. itll cause struggle, anxiety, and it could even make the feelings more severe. accept it and dont try to fix it. just be and it will go away. easier said than done i know, so find things that will help you let go of everything. those who seek nothing have everything to gain. have a little faith. sometimes we have to go through a little darkness and fear to come out to the other side, which is rewarding in the end. but i couldnt be anymore serious when i say, to just say fuck it all. drop every attempt and desire to try to understand reality and the self, and trust, and know that your consciousness will sharpen back up. i fought with those feelings for a few years and only made it worse, i became confused, lost, and completely detached. dont try to be you, cause you are you no matter what, even though you may not feel like it all the time. but dont worry because it comes back when you allow it too, it takes no effort, no thought, no struggle, no understanding.
> 
> ...


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

fieldsmatt31 said:


> those who seek nothing have everything to gain.


I will remember this!


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## Cathal_08 (Apr 7, 2008)

What you just preached is very true i must agree, the anxiety does literally go away when you just genuinely dont try control it and let it be, of course easier sad than done, but when you get the hang of it, it pays off. the only hard part is getting through the parts of the days when DP just completely overwhelms you.

good post


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## fieldsmatt31 (Dec 16, 2009)

ya i constantly surrender all my intentions and desires for anything. to understand it, to grasp it. if i decide to go somehwere where there is going to be people ive never met and i find myself thinking about it and planning out what may happen and trying to make my self feel safe about the situation...i say, ok i dont want it, i dont want the safety, i dont want the feelings good or bad, whatever happens i will accept it and live it. if i dont feel like "me" or an individual than ok, i will accept it and live it, and not even desire the self. if i make a complete ass of my self and i freak out or someone thinks im wierd or a bit crazy, GOOD, i love it when people see my weaknesses, i love it when people laugh and point fingers. humiliate me, i love it. i will abandon my wishes and ask for nothing, and completely let go. i dont need to understand it, i dont want the wisdom any more, its not mine, ill throw any wisdom, memory or knowledge for the sake of attaining nothing. i will throw myself out there to be crucified everytime. if i feel scared, if i ever feel "depersonalized" again, i will accept it. i dont want the feelings, i dont even want the opposite. i desire nothing.

and oh this is only stuff i remind myself. im pretty much talking to myself. but letting others read it just in case it may help them too...so please dont think these are the answers..who knows?..maybe there isnt an answer. maybe there is. i cant say. but no i dont have any feelings of "Depersonalization" i do get confused, i do get scared sometimes of stupid shit. but like i said i am still growing and letting go. i see myself this time last year and i am very grateful, much more well. and sometimes i think about 6 months to a year from now and i smile and that is it.

when you detach your self from all your desires, intentions, beliefs, whatever..everything, you will than break your self down to your purest form, it is there you will find grace. there is where you find relief. there is wholeness, union. there is where "God" is. God has been there the whole time waiting for you to let go and trust. you cant understand it, im not even saying you cant comprehende it, but the second you try to understand it and translate it into thought, you miss it, you lose it, you seperate your self from it. and oh and it is unfathomable. it is knowing without understanding. there you will find a deeper intelligence. trust in it. there you will heal.

ofcourse its not as easy as said. its like jumping off a cliff with no safety nets or parachute. let go. fall. holding on to nothing. surrender. be blind for a while. faith will guide you into the light.

human consciousness is bound by the senses and the mind. there exist a perfection, soo PURE so naked of any ego, conflict, desire or any earthly attachments. it is infinitly greater than anything that can be experienced through the senses or understood with thought or percieved by human consciousness. it is where we came from. it is what shapes creation and consciousness into physical form. it is infinite and nothing. it is the beginning, it is the end. it is...NOW. it is...and that is all.


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

fieldsmatt31 said:


> ya i constantly surrender all my intentions and desires for anything. to understand it, to grasp it. if i decide to go somehwere where there is going to be people ive never met and i find myself thinking about it and planning out what may happen and trying to make my self feel safe about the situation...i say, ok i dont want it, i dont want the safety, i dont want the feelings good or bad, whatever happens i will accept it and live it. if i dont feel like "me" or an individual than ok, i will accept it and live it, and not even desire the self. if i make a complete ass of my self and i freak out or someone thinks im wierd or a bit crazy, GOOD, i love it when people see my weaknesses, i love it when people laugh and point fingers. humiliate me, i love it. i will abandon my wishes and ask for nothing, and completely let go. i dont need to understand it, i dont want the wisdom any more, its not mine, ill throw any wisdom, memory or knowledge for the sake of attaining nothing. i will throw myself out there to be crucified everytime. if i feel scared, if i ever feel "depersonalized" again, i will accept it. i dont want the feelings, i dont even want the opposite. i desire nothing.
> 
> and oh this is only stuff i remind myself. im pretty much talking to myself. but letting others read it just in case it may help them too...so please dont think these are the answers..who knows?..maybe there isnt an answer. maybe there is. i cant say. but no i dont have any feelings of "Depersonalization" i do get confused, i do get scared sometimes of stupid shit. but like i said i am still growing and letting go. i see myself this time last year and i am very grateful, much more well. and sometimes i think about 6 months to a year from now and i smile and that is it.
> 
> ...


I agree! This is very helpful! Thanks! 
It's the way I am trying to think for last few weeks and at least I don't feel horrible like I was feeling in the begining.


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