# a year and a half of hell/does this sound like Derealization?



## wonderlandme (May 22, 2011)

hi i have been reading and lurking here for a while, i do want to share my story in hopes that somebody can help me. i am 30 year old female, in x-mas of 2009 i made the mistake of smoking a joint of marijuana with my ex boyfriend, i normally never smoked if i did it was very very rarely. and never had any side effects. so immediately after smoking i felt like a rock star, a total rush of energy and adrenaline came through me and i just felt amazing, i came out of my van where were were smoking and all of a sudden i felt like i was out of my body. like i was an observer out side of my body literally. as i walked towards my apartment i asked him what the hell he gave me and he just laughted, at the time i did not realize it but this man had every sign and physicall charachteristics of a meth addict. i am still wondering if he laced the weed with meth, ok so i went into my apartment and as i looked around i saw him next to me, and in the blink of an eye on the other side of the room, i started shaking like an epyliptic i thought i was dying, i believe mpy blood pressure was either very high or dangerously low, i began vomiting like crazy, and as i spoke i would then question myself weather i had just spoken or imagined it. i went to bed forcefully in attempt to calm myself down, next day i woke up, and would speak to my kids and question weather i had died the night before, weather they were actually responding or if i was just imagining everything, i was clearly alive but detached completely from my world so hard to explain. next day woke up again the same. athree months down th e road i was still questioning weather i died xmas night, and breaking into severe panic attacks daily at work, and wondering if i was losing my mind. i went to a phsycologist and explained the symptoms, he stated panic attacks and that he had no doubt the weed was laced with meth, idk. he put me on paxil 20 mg and pr,rescribed xanax which i never took. a year later....

i am still have sever panic attacks , i do not take xanax ever. i only take 10mg of paxil because 20 mg i start seeing floaters all over the place and panic more.

i have the following symptoms and my doctor did blood tests to rule out diabetes, sugar, thyroid and everything was fine, his dx ANXIETY:

ok so it starts with cold sweaty hands, racing heart beat, blurry vision, a burning sensation in my chest, and i start seeing floaters, i panic, start shaking i get very cold, and its over withing like 3 to 4 minutes. every day. a couple of times a day. i am so scared and i still have that feeling inside me if things are really happening, its been a year since i smoked i should feel better right? i never smoked after that and i dont even drink alcholhol. i workout when i can, i work full time and this is interfering with my work, i am a single mother and i just want to be ok for my kids. does this sound like derealization? or anxiety? idk what to do any advice would be soo much appreaciated, i bought L-THEANINE Today and not even ten minutes after taking it, all those symptoms happend again, i dont want to take it anymore. my doctor prescribed atarax 25mg yesterday for my anxiety to take along with my paxil but i am scared to take anything else and feel like this again. please help me, i did buy omega 3 fish oil caps but again if these lower my blood pressure i am scared to start feeling this again.

thank you for letting me vent and any advice would greatly help

Nora


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## Tenken (Dec 28, 2007)

Hello I was in a very similar situation to you so i can speak from experience and hopefully help you out. I also experienced the very same symptoms as you after trying Marijuana and also believed it to be laced. I found out later that it had not been so i am pretty sure yours wasn't either. Marijuana alone can cause extreme anxiety and depersonalization in certain people. After my panic attack from Marijuana i suffered for almost 4 years before i conquered this unfortunate debilitating illness.
I tried almost every type medication that has been talked about and went to several doctors looking for a cure and a way out of the hell. I constantly read these forums hoping to find some secret that I was missing that someone else had found. I pretty much put all my time into trying anything and everything to find something that would work. What i realize now is that the best way to get beyond this is to not feed it with every thought. It will pass when you let it pass. Here are some tips i can give...

1. Stop reading the internet about the condition all the time.
2. Don't worry about what happened in the past or what might have happened differently.
3. Don't try tons of medications or vitamins in hopes they will make everything change they wont.
4. Don't talk about your condition unless you have to.
5. Engage in activity's that you enjoy that takes your mind off the bad thinking.
6. Dont expect sudden changes or get discouraged if things are not getting better quickly
7. Try to be social as much as you can.

Feel free to ask me more if you need.


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## wonderlandme (May 22, 2011)

thank you very much for your response,

now i do worry though because i feel physical symptoms, my hands get extremely cold, i get this strange tingling sensation in my tongue, and no medical cause whatsoever..it scares the hell out of me and idk what to do. are these physical symptoms common with dr/anxiety??

cold sweaty hands
blurry vision
racing heart (especially when i lay down}
seeing floaters or flashes when i close my eyes too
shaking

any body suffering from these symptoms and does anything help??

thanks

Nora


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## Guest (May 24, 2011)

Hi Nora,

I also got the floaters and visual static that started off as flashes when I closed my eyes. I eventually decided it was better for me to get used to them, many people get these sorts of visual disturbances. My floaters are worse when I got outside. They are harmless though. I would not worry about them too much.
The number of symptoms that anxiety can cause is enormous...i still get the shakiness even when I am calm. I get a lot of ear pressure too. Anxiety causes some really bizarre stuff, it is amazing what it can do to the body. 
Like you I was also very fearful of putting anything in body, even things that could help. I remember I bought a natural supplement to calm my nerves...and after I took I started to feel weird like I was going to pass out...and I went into a full blown panic attack. I understand how you feel. The fear is extremely heightened for some of us...especially when we are anticipating something might go wrong. 
I have found L-theanine to be helpful though...(ironically I did have a panic attack on it a almost a year ago just because I was so hypervigilant about any kind of response a supplement could have on my body).
Fish Oil is excellent, it is so nourishing to the nervous system. You should really be fine on that one..

Lisa


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