# DP/DR



## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

Hi Guys

My name is Para and I've just joined the DPSelfhelp group. 
I have been suffering from some of the symptoms described under the general heading of Derealization/Depersonalization , but i do not have an accurate diagnosis (I am trying to establish if i have Depersonalization Disorder (standalone) or what i am suffering from stems from underlying anxiety/depression &#8230;or if it is derealization and not depersonalization.
I would be grateful for any advice/comments.
To keep this email short i have listed the events that led to my current state as well as my present symptoms
1) October 2010 my father passed away, felt very bereaved, tearful a lot for a long time. 
2) Around May 2011, I developed tinnitus and lots of tension around the head (like a tight band feeling) and neck tension. 
3) I searched on the Internet for causes/cures of tinnitus constantly for days on end and assumed the worse (brain tumour), I worried about this for weeks on end, and this made me very anxious.
4) Finally I went to see my GP about the tinnitus who suggested an MRI scan, and whilst waiting for the appointment (another few weeks) i felt quite anxious.
5) October 2011 had MRI scan, this came back normal.
6) Around November 2011 had blood tests done (thyroid function etc), all came back normal.
7) GP suggested anti-depressants for anxiety/low mood in Dec 2011 (Citalopram 30mg)







Took these for about 3 months, had side-effects but no improvements in symptoms. 
9) Stopped medication 1st March 2012, had many withdrawal symptoms*

The symptoms below have been around since August 2011

a) Constant feeling of detachment from own experience, where one feels foggy, feeling as if you don't know where you are, but you do (this appeared slowly over a period of few weeks)







Feelings of disconnectedness/unfamiliarity, feeling distant and dreamlike sensations, sometimes feel as my body is just doing things but my mind is disconnected...sort of on autopilot feeling.
c) Visual disturbance (perception) as if my I'm viewing the world through water, sort of fragmented vision...difficult to describe
d) Sometimes seeing flashing lights in dark places and when eyes closed
e) I cry everyday and have feelings of dread and hopelessness
f) Feel mentally drained, sometimes feeling of tight band around head and neck tension
g) Sometimes feeling of trembling in hands/arms/legs (internally)
h) Feeling dizzy/light headed/unsteady
i) Often feel cold, chilliness
j) Sometimes sensitivity to light and sounds
k) Tinnitus

*After stopping Citalopram I had many withdrawal symptoms (Electric shock sensations in the head when moving eyes left/right for about 6 weeks, but these have now subsided.
However, the feelings of disconnectedness/far away sensation/dreamlike state have intensified, and are much more pronounced than before starting medication, and are present 24/7. (I find this sensation to be the most bothersome)

Thank you so much for your time, I look forward to hearing from you.
Kindest regards
Para


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## cYpzz (Apr 15, 2012)

Hey, Kara
This is for sure anxiety. I've been through this one time before(in 2005) Cipralex gave me my life back.
I think you should call your doc and ask for an another SSRI. I've taken Cipralex for 7 years, but it pooped out and now I'm taking Zoloft


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## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

cYpzz said:


> Hey, Kara
> This is for sure anxiety. I've been through this one time before(in 2005) Cipralex gave me my life back.
> I think you should call your doc and ask for an another SSRI. I've taken Cipralex for 7 years, but it pooped out and now I'm taking Zoloft


thank you so much for your reply, can depression/low mood also give rise to these symptoms?


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## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

.


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## cYpzz (Apr 15, 2012)

Yes it can. I've read so much about this condition and DP is usually a SYMPTOM of an underlying issue ( Depression, anxiety, OCD etc..) 
Most people in here have DP/DR as a symptom- not as a disorder.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

hey para... yes as he said its definately anxiety.... you will be okay it will just take a little time... i have had all of the symptoms u experienced..... more scarey than u can imagine.... do u get thoughts of life and the world around you? as if its strange and sum sort of game...?


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## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

cYpzz said:


> Yes it can. I've read so much about this condition and DP is usually a SYMPTOM of an underlying issue ( Depression, anxiety, OCD etc..)
> Most people in here have DP/DR as a symptom- not as a disorder.


Hi cYpzz
Thanks once again for your help/kindness, you've been a great help, i really do appreciate your input.


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## cYpzz (Apr 15, 2012)

It's nice to give you support. I also have this symptoms and it's important that we keep fighting. Are you considering any new SSRI ? 
Go to chat room if you want.


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## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

katiej said:


> hey para... yes as he said its definately anxiety.... you will be okay it will just take a little time... i have had all of the symptoms u experienced..... more scarey than u can imagine.... do u get thoughts of life and the world around you? as if its strange and sum sort of game...?


Hi katiej 
thanks for your kind words...yes all the time, why are we here?, what does it all mean? is there any point to life and so on...the scary part is i just function but mind is so far away from my surroundings... a scary detached feeling as if you don't know where you are, but you do...just sooo difficult to describe...have you recovered?


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## depersonalised (Apr 30, 2012)

Hi Para
I checked this post out as you suggested on your other post. This definitely sounds like anxiety. Anti-depressants can be very helpful for some people and for others not helpful at all. I have been on more medications than I can remember the names of over the years, but unfortunately for me they are no good. However, if it makes you feel more hopeful, I am better than I was when this started and I am functioning at a much higher level.

Some things you could try:
1) Try a different anti-depressant or mood stabiliser. There are SSRIs (like Citalopram), SNRIs (like Venlafaxin) and mood stabilisers (like Lamotrigine). I have tried all of these and found lamotrigine to be the most "calm". Felt a bit wired on the others! But lamotrigine is a mood stabiliser usually used for people with bipolar disorder, so they are unlikely to try you on this right away. All anti-depressants are different and there are hundreds of other types. One of them might work for you, so it might be worth a try. One doctor I see is very keen on a pill called Ecitalopram, which despite the similarity of name is apparently very different from Citalopram!

2) Talking therapy. CBT is the NHS' first port of call nowadays for anxiety. It's very good. You could ask your GP to refer you and you will be put on a waiting list. It does take about 18 months to get an appointment though. It's worth putting your name down anyway so you have support in the long term. There are also other therapies like psychodynamic therapy and mindfulness. Mindfulness is very fashionable nowadays and it sounds pretty good, but I'm not sure whether it is possible to get this from many providers yet. Anxiety UK (http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/) offer subsidised private therapy at about £15 a pop, if I remember rightly. They also offer a helpline and all sorts of resources, so give them a bell.

3) Have a look-y here at CCBT and Beating the Blues http://selfhelpservices.org.uk/shs_type/ccbt-services/. This is computer CBT. It is a free service run by volunteers and if you're in a major city there is likely to be a drop in near you. You can self-refer and you usually get a place quickly.

4) Self-help There are many books you can buy on CBT. My doctor recommended Overcoming Anxiety: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Anxiety-Helen-Kennerley/dp/1854874225 and it's pretty good. Alternatively, a much cheaper option is to use a free internet CBT self-help service. You can find these at www.moodgym.anu.edu.au and www.llttf.com. Both of these sites are also good resources for info on anxiety.

5) Lifestyle changes:
- Stay in a routine: Up in the morning and to bed at night at around the same time (particularly importnat if you don't work)
- Eat as healthily as possible and regularly.
- Exercise - this is REALLY important. Exercise has been found to be one of the best treatments for anxiety. You don't have to join a gym. A brisk walk each day will do you the world of good!
- Make time for fun every day - think of something you enjoy and make time for it.
- Socialise - many people find they drift away from others when they don't feel well. Try not to do this, stay in contact with people and force yourself out when you don't feel like it. Even if you think of an excuse to leave early, show your face and spend time with others.
- Quit caffeine. I never managed to do this but caffeine increases anxiety levels. 
- Quit smoking - as above.
- Quit drinking or - more realistically - drink in moderation - hangovers and anxiety don't mix.

I've got a load more I could add here if you need more help in the future. Have a go at these and feel free to PM me if you want more advice. I've done plenty of research over the years


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## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

depersonalised said:


> Hi Para
> I checked this post out as you suggested on your other post. This definitely sounds like anxiety. Anti-depressants can be very helpful for some people and for others not helpful at all. I have been on more medications than I can remember the names of over the years, but unfortunately for me they are no good. However, if it makes you feel more hopeful, I am better than I was when this started and I am functioning at a much higher level.
> 
> Some things you could try:
> ...


Hi DP
Thank you so much for your time. I am releived that this is all stemming from anxiety, and there isn't anything else (physical) going on.
This is really useful info. I didn't want to try another SSRI (Citalopram didn't work for me)
But my GP has suggested CBT, as you say this will be very helpful.
Thanks so much once again, it's really appreciated.
Kindest regards
Para


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