# Completely recovered from severe derealisation



## From0to100

*Summary*

I'm a young male and this is my derealisation recovery story. It all started in September last year and as of July this year I'm completely recovered. All of my symptoms are 100% gone. I know for sure that my recovery is real and that I haven't simply gotten used to the feeling of suffering from derealisation. I'm certain of this as I've had some relapses and in consequence I truly know what it feels like to be derealised and what it feels like not to be. The contrast is huge. Recovery is real and recovery is possible - for everyone with the right mindset.

*Background*

What lead up to my derealisation is still a bit of a mystery to me, I haven't experimented with drugs (except for alcohol). I've experienced some dark things in my childhood, but that is something I have managed to completely process and overcome ages ago, of that I'm certain. Thus making my main suspect for the onset of derealisation a very demanding period I went through a little less than a year ago (early September last year). During that time I one day upon waking found myself feeling the worst I've felt in my entire life. It felt as if nothing was real, as if someone had pulled down a curtain before my eyes, as if I sat behind a wall of glass separating me from the rest of the world. I felt absolutely horrible and had absolutely no idea what was going on. I had gone to bed the night before feeling perfectly fine, at peace with life despite feeling stressed out due to going through some demanding times.

As the analytical person I want to believe I am, I immediately started researching and quickly found people describing experiences very similar to my own due to all different kinds of conditions, though after a couple of weeks of worrying and obsessing I managed to rule out most conditions and diagnosed myself with derealisation.

*Symptoms*

*Feeling distant and detached from the rest of the world*; feelings of absence, felt trapped behind a glass wall, nothing felt real. I never experienced any out-of-body experiences but I did however feel trapped inside my own body and as if my emotions and presence kind of left my body and float around in the air around me.

*Emotional numbness*; no emotions felt genuine during derealisation be it sadness or happiness.

*Short-term memory impairment*; I forgot things and constantly tested my memory, often to find myself disappointed - thus increasing my stress levels.

*Feelings of brain fog*; my head felt clouded and at times holding a simple thought felt like an impossible feat.

*Weird perception and tunnel vision with static*, I even started suspecting there was something wrong with my eyes. The tunnel vision made it hard for me to speak to people in person as it felt like something blocked my vision. I would look at someone without really seeing them.

*Odd thoughts; *I started questioning reality and life. Existential thoughts tortured me daily.

*Vivid nightmares*; I had very vivid nightmares every night during my experience with derealisation

*Pressure around head*; at times felt like someone had taken a thick rubber band and put it around my head.

*Recovery*

I'm no neurologist, but I think that the onset of depersonalization/derealisation is caused by imbalances in the brain caused by stress. Obviously, the brain is beyond complex and I by no means claim that this is the truth. But from what I've read stress always seem to have a play in the onset of depersonalization/derealisation, no matter if drugs are in the picture. When drugs are involved, a bad trip seem to be the cause, something that can be very stressful. I've also read that people have gotten depersonalization/derealisation after heavy panic attacks. It would make sense that the brain kind off shuts off after being exposed to very intense stress in order to protect itself, hence the feelings of detachment. If this is the case, it would make sense that in order for the chemical imbalances to go back to normal, the brain needs a break from stress, you have to find a way not to feel stressed. Achieving that varies from person to person, you have got to find what works for you. Try to sleep well, exercise, eat healthy, meditate and work on your mindset. Whatever works for you really, essentially I believe what you got to do is decrease stress and anxiety. Logic would predict that the brain needs some time to heal, so don't expect to recover after one day of avoiding stress, persistence is key here.

Personally, it took me a good while to point out stress as the villain - especially since I've previously never identified with anxious people and always have considered myself superb at handling stress. I just couldn't accept that my severe symptoms could be explained with something as simple as stress. I even started suspecting that there was something physically wrong with my brain and/or eyes. My brain literally felt fried, like I had severe brain damage. I started thinking that following advice on ignoring my symptoms and trying to move on with my life would make me neglect some serious medical problems. I spent so much time researching, worrying, comparing, thinking "what if" that I just accumulated more stress and anxiety - thus seriously slowing down recovery. However, once I managed to adopt an attitude where I just didn't care, I allowed for recovery to take place. This is extremely hard in the beginning, at first no distractions were sufficient to keep my mind off the condition for more than a couple of minutes. But as time went by, I eventually started thinking less and less about it. Eventually (after a good couple of months) I found myself to be completely back to normal (after a couple of relapses). Trust me guys, you have got to keep living your life, it might feel like I'm asking you to do the impossible, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. For some of you it will be a long walk in the darkness, for some of you it will be a short one. I do however believe in all of you guys, you all have the power to take your life back. Some of you might think that your depersonalization/derealisation is so bad that you're beyond saving. But that doesn't make sense at all, I truly believe stress and anxiety is the cause of the condition. Once you really manage to cope with that, recovery is within reach. As I stated in the summary; recovery is real and recovery is possible - for everyone with the right mindset.

I really hope that this was helpful at least for someone, feel free to message me if you have any questions or need more advice on recovery.

I wish you all the best of luck on your road to recovery!


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## Meticulous

Awesome post my friend, and congratulations on recovery! Stories such as yours truly benefit a lot of the members on this forum by instilling a positive attitude, so thank you for taking the time to share. Regarding your views on recovery, I have to agree completely. When you're finally able to pull yourself in to the moment (which by no means is easy), you'll realize that there really is no threat, and no need to be fearful. By doing this, you're giving your brain the R&R it needs to repair itself. This is the same method I used when I first recovered, and am on my way to recovering again.


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## dotcom85

After 8 years of Derealisation i also finally recovered (you can find my recoverystory also here). And yes i also think that the main reason for Derealisation is Stress! For me it was also a big panic attack after i smoked weed and i was thinking that weed was the trigger but the real reason for the DR/DP was the big panic attack and the anxiety that followed me over the years. Meditiation, proper Nutrition and enough Minerals (Vitamin, Magnesium, Calcium) and enjoy life is the key to become free of DP!

i had so much stress in my brain from my childhood and other situations in my life. After i worked on this problems and let the stress go away the anxiety and DP also goes away.


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## LostTheRealness

how you let your stress go away?


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## Jesus-is-my-Saviour

LostTheRealness said:


> how you let your stress go away?


By accepting your condition and not focusing on DP constantly. This is not easy but it's possible. The less you entertain the crazy thoughts the less anxious you'll be. Less stress/anxiety equals less symptoms and eventually recovery. Your brain needs to go through a long enough period of no stress/anxiety before it can start to function properly again.


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## Jesus-is-my-Saviour

Jesus-is-my-Saviour said:


> By accepting your condition and not focusing on DP constantly. This is not easy but it's possible. The less you entertain the crazy thoughts the less anxious you'll be. Less stress/anxiety equals less symptoms and eventually recovery. Your brain needs to go through a long enough period of no stress/anxiety before it can start to function properly again.


Just try to accept that you have DP and try to live as normal a life as possible regardless of the thought/symptoms. Again, not easy but over time you will get used to it. You can't die from DP/DR so just accept that you have it and don't get freaked out by the symptoms and eventually you'll get so used to it that it doesn't bother you anymore.


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## dotcom85

Yep its so easy to say dont think about it and it willgo away...but its not i know it from my recovery..what helped me a lot is to take care to your body. most people with DP and Stress and Anxiety has Magnesium and VitaminB Problems. I swear to god since i take magnesium everyday my stress level went from 9/10 to 2/10 ! i also take matcha greentea it lets my brain work better and i feel like this helped me also.


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## julz

Awesome Post from0to100 !


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## From0to100

LostTheRealness said:


> how you let your stress go away?


Hello friend!

In the case of derealisation, a lot of the stress obviously comes from the derealisation itself. Stress causes derealisation. Derealisation causes stress. We get an evil circle here which I believe is crucial to break in order to recover.

My way of handling the stress and anxiety was based on two key principles. Acceptance and hope. The first thing I did once I decided that I couldn't keep living with my stress and anxiety was finding a way to accept my situation. I realised that I had reached the bottom and that it could only get better. I decided to find a way to make life worth living despite the derealisation. I figured that if I could truly accept life and my situation at its worst I would find peace. Which I actually did. I had all of my problems and symptoms and sometimes in the beginning of my recovery I for most of the time thought that life wasn't worth living like this. But I had moments were I actually thought life was quite okay. These moments made me keep going. Find a way to accept your condition at it's worst, find small moments of joy to hold onto. Don't think "this is kind of good, but without derealisation it would be much better", if something in life makes you feel kind of happy, you have to keep fighting.

The real breakthrough for me came when I actually started to believe that recovery was possible, hence "hope" being the second key principle for recovery. In the beginning, I spent most of my time worrying that I would be stuck in derealisation forever. I started suspecting other causes for my condition, like brain tumors, problems with adrenal glands and more. Causes that would possibly leave me with permanent progressive symptoms. That kind of stuff left my horrified. But after a while I decided that I was being irrational and realised how unlikely that was. I tamed my "what if"-thoughts and accepted that stress had caused my derealisation. From reading other recovery stories I started to believe that recovery was possible. When you start believing that recovery is possible, like truly believe it, I assure you that your stress levels will decrease.

Accept your condition. Find small moments of happiness. Believe that recovery is possible.

I believe in you man, you can find a way out.

Good luck!


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## From0to100

dotcom85 said:


> Yep its so easy to say dont think about it and it willgo away...but its not i know it from my recovery..what helped me a lot is to take care to your body. most people with DP and Stress and Anxiety has Magnesium and VitaminB Problems. I swear to god since i take magnesium everyday my stress level went from 9/10 to 2/10 ! i also take matcha greentea it lets my brain work better and i feel like this helped me also.


Hello friend!

It's very true that it's hard to stop thinking about derealisation. It really haunts you. In the beginning, it constantly was on my mind. Constantly. I could not at all believe how anyone could suddenly just not think about it. And the thing is, it doesn't happen suddenly. It's a process. If you can't go on with life without thinking about derealisation, you've got to force yourself to go on with life even though you might constantly think about derealisation to start out with. Things will get better and you'll find yourself being less and less haunted by derealisation.

I decided for myself that I didn't want any medication or supplements as I was afraid it would make things worse. I'm really happy that it has helped you though.

I wish you the best of luck!


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## julz

@from0to100..did your emotional numbness go away as well?


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## From0to100

julz said:


> @from0to100..did your emotional numbness go away as well?


Hi!

For me, emotional numbness was one of the worst aspects of derealisation. I felt no passion, no joy, no love, no nothing. The only feeling I was left with was despair, and even that felt numb. Nothing felt the same and things I used to love, people I used to love, failed to provoke even the tiniest bit of affection. It was horrible. Fortunately, this symptom has resolved completely. Once I took control over my anxiety and stress my emotional life slowly was brought back to life. Over just the past couple of weeks I have rediscovered passion, love and felt true joy. It's amazing really.

Good luck with your recovery!


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## julz

Thank You so much! I am so looking forward to that amazing feeling...And a HUGE congrats on your recovery !... Ur a free bird now !


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## From0to100

julz said:


> Thank You so much! I am so looking forward to that amazing feeling...And a HUGE congrats on your recovery !... Ur a free bird now !


Thank you for your kind words. The bird reference really put a smile on my face. I wish I could help you guys more, I truly believe that all of you have the capacity to find your wings again.

Feel free to ask here or message me if you have more questions about recovery!


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## katemate

Dear From0to100,
I'm having the same symptoms with my derealization. I had an incredibly stressful year and one day sitting in the car it just got me. After that I als had panic attacks, fears, crazy thoughts and questioning life in general. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. Now I eat normally and sleep some, but not well. Anxiety about all of this keeps my thoughts busy day and night.
Now I know what this is. I'm so glad that I've found your story.
Do you think that stress and derealization creates the fears as well? 
Nowadays half of my days are "behind this glass wall", the other half is almost good. During those periods I feel close to normal again, but still kind of numb and my old goals seem far away, still questioning the purpose of life and I also have some fears. 
What do you think about this? When you had better periods, were you like this too? 
I'm really looking forward to get back my free, fearless self. 
It all started in late September.


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## Gazzy001

Great story, thanks for the encouraging words. ☺


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## KanMan#2

THIS IS GOOD SHIT ON THIS PAGE


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## holyahoy

Just wanted to say thank you for this post. I've had derealization (I think) for about two months now and sometimes it truly does feel hopeless and like I'm going to be trapped in this state forever, but reading posts like yours is really, really encouraging and helps me get through it. Thank you, and to anyone else out there who is struggling with this awful thing, carry on and don't lose hope. x


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