# Hey all! Glad to know I'm not alone!



## HopeFloats (Dec 22, 2005)

I posted this yesterday in the normal discussion area but here it is again:

Hi all..my name is Amy, 22, from New York City and I have been viewing this site for a month but I have never written until now. Maybe because joining/posting makes it seem more real that I am dealing with DP/DR. But, I figure I'm in this and so are all you and from what I've gathered, this is a great place of advice and support.

I've been experiencing DP/DR for almost 3 months now. DR is not new to me, although DP is new this time around. I've had episodes of DR when I was younger..11-14..with breaks always during the summer and it would always return once school began. High school started out fine..but it came back my sophomore year and lasted till the end of my junior year, not too sure if there was a break during the summer there.

At the end of my junior year I became involved in clubs, sports (tennis), got a job and made new friends that are my best friends till this day. I was no longer sitting around my house, wishing I had more friends, wishing I was popular, wishing I could do more, etc..I was out doing all of these things and my DR just simply faded. I had been great ever since, up until almost 3 months ago.

I went away to college and I never looked back. I had so many friends, so many on campus parties, so much usual drama, new guys to be interested in and soo many were interested in me -- it was great. I fell in love and met my soul mate in college, we've been together for 3 years. We both graduated in May and we are both planning to be lawyers, he is already attending an ivy league law school and I have recently gotten into several top 10 law schools -- it's been bittersweet b/c all of my dreams are coming true but I've been smacked in the face with DR and now DP, which for me personally is worse than DR.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there are a lot of changes going on in my life..new job, no more free fun days of college, my boyfriend being away now, etc etc..obviously there are other issues there that i've had at the back of my mind (unhappy social experiences when i was younger, family probs, etc.) that I have never gotten over but tried to ignore.

I've tried to deal with it on my own, ignore it and try to move past it like I have done in the past but I think that there are some issues there that need to be looked at -- to me it's no coincidence it came about on a Saturday night when I wanted to hang out with my boyfriend, my sister, my friends but they werent around -- I was lonely and dealing with lonliness has been a huge issue with me lately.

All I know that these past 3 months have been pure hell -- no words could ever explain the horror of it, as I'm sure most of you know. I've recently started seeing a psychoanalyst psychotherapist who I clicked with right away during our first phone conversation..when I called to make an appointment he immediately began to talk to me about the problem I was having, which was so unlike the first therapist I called who's first question was "Are you paying through insurance or no?"...that really made me feel like this person was concerned about why I was calling ::eyeroll:: Anyway I really think that with his help, the advice I have picked up on here at this board (focusing outward, keeping busy, stop thinking about it, stop fearing it, going out, etc. -- which by the way REALLY works) and with the support/love of my family I can get through this.

I feel for each and every single one of you on this board. Never give up on yourself no matter how hard it seems (trust me, I know). It really seems sometimes that I'm about to die, go insane, etc. but you know what..those moments always pass. Telling myself "this is just a symptom of underlying issues" really puts everything in perspective and even if it feels weird, strange, i'm able to go about my business..especially these past 2 weeks.

Jeez this is really long, I always wondered how everyone wrote such long stories but I guess it just pours out of you! Thanks for taking the time to read -- any feedback is appreciated or if any one just wants to talk..I'm here Take care, everybody.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

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## HopeFloats (Dec 22, 2005)

Isn't it the sickest feeling! I was freaking out at my desk at work about having DR again and all of a sudden the DP hit me and I was like WOAHHHHHH HOW CAN I NOT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE??? Totally scared me..

Thanks for replying, by the way


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