# Does anyone have tips to share?



## Mochan (Jul 14, 2014)

On how to stop being afraid of derealization? I can't get past the 'accepting' part of getting rid of this horrible feeling.

I focus on my weird sight constantly, always checking if my thoughts are 'normal' and I'm always feeling like I'm on the edge of something mentally.

I just want to accept that I am derealized and depersonalized without the typical 'am I going nuts' train of thought so I can take my progress to the next level.


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## eter (Aug 21, 2015)

I am not sure if I can contribute, but I would like to try.

Part of my own problem is, that anxiety/panic and derealisation/depersonalisation is close connected. So, when I perhaps percieve the sound of a chainsaw in the far background, as a radiochannel nearby (and, in my case, I always have this parallell, "crazy" awarness while I am like analyzing what I hear or see, that "knows" that just because I am doing it, means that I have misinterpreted something. Do you understand? So, unlike other, healthy people, my mind is in a kind of alert, hyperobservant, and in need to determin things exactly, all the time, and it becomes very messy, for me, and filled with stressed and anxiety).

I know some stuff that works for me. That makes it easier. But, I can not always do it for myself. You know? And that is frustrating as well, of course.

A great part of your anxiety regarding this horrible feeling, is because you think too much, I think.

Trust the science. You will not automatically "loose it". This is, feelings. Emotions. They can not hurt you. It is not dangerous, though your body tells you, chemically, it is, with anxiety. Just feelings.

Your recovery is not depending on you thinking your way out of this syndrome. Like outsmart it, see through it. Like, you see a face in a stone for a second, and you "oh...oh no...that is not a face, that is a STONE, and the darker parts of it, with the shadows from the fence, JUST MADE IT LOOK LIKE A STONE, HEAD; YOU CAN NOT FOOL ME!!!"- do you recognize this even slightly?. So an ever ongoing dialogue in your head, proving to your self what is real, what is not, what is sane, what is not, be in control, it is like fighting yourself.

Try do not do that. Have these dialogues. So what if you see something that perhaps is not what anyone else would se? What is the harm in that? The harm is is how you respond to that experience. I know it is hard, but just try do be more of "ok, whatever" and move on. Do not try to prove to yourself, you are sane. Think instead, it is ok to be odd. Odd is not a crime or a sickness. It is only when it lowers your functioning, that it is diagnosed. It is ok to have these experiences. They are not comfortable, but they are not dangerous.

Hope it helped somewhat.


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## Zed (Jul 25, 2015)

Mochan said:


> On how to stop being afraid of derealization? I can't get past the 'accepting' part of getting rid of this horrible feeling.
> 
> I focus on my weird sight constantly, always checking if my thoughts are 'normal' and I'm always feeling like I'm on the edge of something mentally.
> 
> I just want to accept that I am derealized and depersonalized without the typical 'am I going nuts' train of thought so I can take my progress to the next level.


Most likely something is triggering your derealisation. When you can work out what that is, you can begin to work on it and reduce the effect it has on you.

My advice? Be curious and begin to take notice when DR gets worse or eases for you.


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## Mochan (Jul 14, 2014)

Zed said:


> Most likely something is triggering your derealisation. When you can work out what that is, you can begin to work on it and reduce the effect it has on you.
> 
> My advice? Be curious and begin to take notice when DR gets worse or eases for you.


It was triggered after a long perioof work related stress and anxiety which has always been a part of me my whole life. The general anxiety turned into hypochondria, ocd and a consistent sense of impending doom.


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## irasnz (Sep 1, 2015)

Mochan said:


> It was triggered after a long perioof work related stress and anxiety which has always been a part of me my whole life. The general anxiety turned into hypochondria, ocd and a consistent sense of impending doom.


Okay, so you have identified what causes this work-related stress as what triggered your depersonalization. Do you know what initially caused the anxiety?

For me, it was being bullied at school for being gay and being smart (separately and together at times). The trigger of my latest major episode of depression for me, what I can tell, was a massive earthquake I survived but caused a lot of damage to the city I live in. This ongoing, lengthy depression, with a final deep dive in September 2014 after I was going back to Christchurch after being in Chicago visiting my family, was what finally triggered my depersonalization.

Once I started working back from that, things started to improve a bit.

First, I would suggest you try to look at things rationally, if you can. The hypochondria and sense of impending doom sound like panic attacks to me (been there!) so maybe when you start feeling this way, look at things logically. Has your breathing increased? Are you feeling on edge? Slow your breathing down. Walk off the adrenaline (if you can). Your body is pumping you full of adrenaline during this fight-or-flight stage, and this is what is making you on edge. Once you think about how your body reacts to stress -- and this is the way it's meant to work -- you can think about it more logically and help contain these feelings.

Second, do you work out? I found working out helps. Walking, running, boxing... it all helps burn through some of this anxiety. In addition, try to avoid caffeine or stimulants if you can. This will only enhance the on-edge feeling.

Third, meditate. Sounds dumb to some people, but it works. Go into a dark room and make yourself a comfortable little spot to sit at. Light a candle. Focus on the flame. Clear your mind. Slow, steady breathing as you focus on that moment, on that candle, on that flame. Do that for maybe 20 minutes and try to keep your mind in check from wandering or thinking too much.

These are some of the things that helped me with my anxiety, but there are many other things I am learning now. A huge part of my problem is that I internalise my negative emotions (anger, sadness, etc.) and this leads to stress which leads to anxiety which leads to panic attacks or depression or depersonalisation. Knowing that pattern is super-important.

Let us know how you are getting on or if any of this helps!


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