# How I recovered from DP with the help of a drug called Lamictal



## Aokiji (Feb 18, 2014)

Hi DP community, my name is Aaron James. I am a native of Trinidad and Tobago,West Indians which is the island closes to Venezuela. I am 23 years old and a recently graduate from Uni with a Diploma in Electrical/Electronics Engineering. I had DP from the 10 August,2010 to the 31 January ,2014. I recovered from DP with help of a drug called *Lamictal/Lamotrigine*.*This is anti convulsive drug that is used for depression, bi polar disorder, epilepsy and yes also DP.*

*My recover story is broken up into four parts; Story, Cause,What I did during Dp, After Dp. I am mindful that people with DP have problems concentrating so each part is short and to the point. You can read only the parts that matter to you, so if you do have to read the whole thing.*

*My Story*

On Monday the 22 July,2013 I started my journey to La La Land called DP. I started to have fatigue problems,sadness for no reason, problem with sleeping , eat the full work. This was the beginning of a depression. I when to see someone who I consider my second Mother. We talk a little bit and she for prayed with me. I started to attended church which I had done in three years. I gave myself to the Lord and got baptised and my depression after a few day when away.*This was not I hate my life kind of bull shit.I had just finished my Electrical course with good grades and was eager to start Instrumentation later that year.* Little did i know this was the start of the true demon that wanted to destroy my life. I remember not sleep one night and thing would go down hill from there . I went on a hike planned by the church and knew that shit had change. I lost the ability to use my senses while on the hike, while bathing at the waterfall I could not feel the coldness of the water and eating food after returning was terrible.

I knew some was really wrong and decide to see my sister`s psychiatrist since I could not handl this crap on my own any more. I made an appointment by her which was for September 5 but this was move up to August 15. So the date came and I saw the psych. I told her everything that was going on with me, She listen to me, analyse my voice and watch my non verbal behaviour and told me that what i was describing could be either temporal lobe epilepsy or depersonalization but she could not be sure. She told me go on-line and see if one of these condition fit me more with and told me to comeback in one week.

The next appointment I told it was more DP which she had suspected. While it was nice to have a name for this condition, while in my research I saw there was no instant cure which was confirm by my psych. But she had some experience with DP before and I placed on *20mg Prozac* and told to come back in three weeks. She also sent me for a full blood test, CT scan and a thyroid test. I also was in process of also seeing a neurologist but I recovered before I could make an appointment. I only last one week on this drug not because of bad reaction but because I decided to not eat and take my pill. *THIS WAS STUPID ON MY PART. I almost choke on my own spit. I was especially warned by my doctor to take the pill with a meal so it was not her fault. I decide after this to try the natural route for a while and saw a herbalist which my doctor had no problem since she allow me to try different thing but she told that the herbs mighty not work. So I tried herd from early October to December.* This was an absolute waste of money on my part but I did not mine since DP did not have a standard cure. So what changed, since I am on a drug right. In December mine mother and I had a big fight and I broke a glass in anger. This was a wake up call so I made an appointment by my doctor once more. This time using the drug info I got from this site while researching DP I ask for *Lamcital*,which was her next choice of drug for me to try.* After two weeks on 25mg of Lamictal which I started in Jaunary of this year. I recover Completely from DP*. *I do not remember how it feeling to have it.*

*Cause*

I had a great childhood doing the usually stuff you expect a child to do. Running, Playing and making friend. But when i started *Secondary school(Middle School& High School in the states)* i started to change. I started to sweat really bad from my hands, feet and body. This impacted my self confidence and self esteem. If I did any thing that was very psychical I would sweat real bad. So I not by choice start to spent more inside and less time onside. This was observed by my mother who called me *Hermit*. This was not to insult me but to tell me that something was not right. I even spent less time with my friends. Who would come an ask for me but I would always make excuses. This is not to say that I did not have friends but it was a hand full. I also go out but this far and few in between. While I excel in school, my life lack balance between school and play. I got along well with people but I did not keep friend after change from secondary to technical schools and finally in Uni which was very bad, now that I am looking back on it. What broke the camel back was my father`s death. I did not attend his funeral since he did not live me but he still supported me financially. Since his family does know about me since I am an outside child this made it even worse. Only after recovering from DP did not I realize how much my father was not apart of my life. and how this impacted me on a sub conscious level. After the drug had an effect on me I cried for hour about him which I did not when I had initially heard the news. Processing this trauma was also important in recovering from DP.

*What I did during DP*

The first few day of DP was pure hell, I was in a catatonic state and left my room only to deal with personal hygiene. My mother prepare all of meal for a month since I could not cook. after I had a little understand about condition I start leaving my room. It was absolutely soul crushing to have to tell my an Administration rep that I could start the next part of my course. I cried for hours after I received that call. My mother try her best to help me but during early stage all I wanted was space. I cry out to God and ask him why I was going during this level of pain and torment.I absolutely hate him and stop praying or reading my bible. So went I start feeling a little better this around October I start to do more research about my condition. In early I went to *YouTube* and came across the usual stuff such as Harris Harrington DP program but I was sceptical. Just like I was with the DP manual. It was not until I found this was I put at ease. I was able to make sense of what i going through. There were people who knew what I going through and there were recovery stories not one or two but 20 to 40 page full of recovery story which put my mind at ease.

I came on this site everyday and read a lot of the stories. I was able to use the info and I started to improve. I stared to change the way I thought about DP and how I approach this condition. *We all hate this condition from the bottom of our hearts but I had to accept this condition.* *Not that I would never get better but that after a while it did not scared me as it did in the early stage. where most people think there were going crazy or that it was a brain tumour or something terminal. Once these fears were dismiss I focus only on getting better.* The reason I never sign up last I did not want to talk with other since this was just process of identifying news symptoms and asking other if they felt the same.* Do not get me wrong, it is good to have a place to vent, cuss and asking for help but after a while this can become a hindrance in process of recovery. People who have DP for a long time have a different outlook that those who had at for let say less that three years. So I focus only on the Medication and Recovery Section of this site.*

I pin to my browsers the *Holy Grail for curing DP* and I went *back to post from 2004 in the Medication Section and I created a frequency table of all the drugs that work and the combo of drug. I notice a pattern staring to emerge from this research*. Drug such as *Lexapro, Cipramil, Klonopin, Effoxorand Lamitcal* *continuously appeared in post of those who had recovered while Drug such as Prozac & Zoloft were in bottom part of my list. I read every and I me every post in the Drug section TWICE and the data from my frequency graph was the same.* My knowledge on drug such *SSRIs,SNRs, MAOI, Anit Psychotic & Anti Epilepsy *increase because of *Comfortably Numb* and *Absentis* who knowledge when it came to drug were in my opinion at PHD level even thought it was all self taught. *I notice that people also ask the same question like:* *What drug should I use*? Or *Will drug work for me?* *I Also notice that some people did not stay on drug long enough to see if it had and effect.* *Or they had a bad reaction with the drug and came and wrote a negative review on the drug.* *This very BAD in my opinion since people are discourage from trying a drug that may have the potential to help them. This especially true for some people who have recover in natural way and tell people like me that I have not truly recovered since I need a drug. I not reply to anyone who comment on this post with this BULLSHIT. SCREW YOU. TAKE YOU CRAP SOMEWHERE ELSE.* I am a lucky case to have my drug work at low dose of 25mg. *While the normal doses for this is 200mg a daily with an Anti Depression and Klnonopin which the DP Research Unit in England who have to successfully treat some patients*.*The Medication Section allow me to see how DP people reacted to drug since there so few large scale drug studies.* This is one of the best thing about this site. I thank each and everyone who posted there successful stories with drugs. Also note if you plan to try drug that is can be a *Trial/Error Process* so do not be discourage if the first one does not work. I create my just for that reason to remain me of this fact.

*After Dp*

Now that I have recovered from DP my life has change completely. I am a totally different person than i was before this shit. I get up each morning pray, I go for a run and do yoga and I lift weighs three times a week. My body fell great, I am lot more active than I was before. I fell as though my I have reconnected to my childlike nature. I played football(soccer in the state) which I had done in year and I all of my same skills and tricks.This is one thing that I most happy about since, as we get older we lose our playfulness because of responsibilities and work. My mind and senses have become sharper. This is VERY AWESOME. I able to notice all the little thing about life. My mind has become a a super computer. I am to work at a much high rate than before and design solution to problem which is my field in second which would have taken an hour.

My personality as change also. I am much more talkative and honest with people. I speak my mind all the time. Because of this change my Mother and Sister say it will take sometime for them to get accustom to the new me. I zero fears, worries or anxieties. Thing that use to bother me a lot like my sweat does not any more. I not insecure and I am very comfortable in skin. I Love myself and I am in the process of build a great body so I get a beautiful girlfriend.

The first junk food that I ate was *KFC MAN THAT TASTE SOOOO GOOOOD*. The spicy favours, the text of chicken, the salad. My mouth is watering just think about this chicken. Every meal I eat I savour each bite. Since I can cook again I have also start learn new recipes and try different food just for fun.

The most and I mean most important thing that I have learn after DP is the importance of family and friends. And how my life, I would not even call want I had before life but more of an exist, I neglected to make deep bonds. I had one friend who always call me and we would just talk about what i was going through. My relationship with my Mother and Sister is great and I am really thankful for there support and love during that time.

But I cannot and I mean cannot not thank God for his help, I would be doing him an injustice if I did not mention him. He help get an early appointment by Dr Reid. This woman is one of the best doctors in my country, she is constant booked up for months at a time. She also teach at the University of the West Indies. And she does research into many areas. As a result she only works privately *Two days for the week*. She is the same faith as me and told me to pray that *Lamictal *would help me help and boy if it was one time that I prayed religiously was then. I pray not to get that rash and I check constantly every few hours to see if I had it. So when I decide to go to church for the first time several week ago I was completely shock that right before I was so suppose to leave that my DP level reduce to about half and the following week I recovered completely. I got down on my knees and cried and cried and thank GOD that this nightmare had finally ended.

I would like to thank those that contributed to this site and especially Selig, reading about your life and your drug interaction, along with the your pictures of your child really help at my low point when i want to just die. T*he suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problem really hit home real hard so I did not do something stupid*. I did not put a real picture of myself I am in process of changing the OS on my laptop, so i will do that later. One thing that I also observer with people who have recovered was their determinate to live. So people who had it for 5,10 even 18 years have recovered because they never gave up hope. Also each *case of DP is different,* *so my issue with not directly translate too yours.* *Drug use, Depression, severe Anxiety, OCD, vitamin deficiency, mineral changes can all cause DP, so the narcissistic parent does fit with everyone.* So that is it. I hope my story may help and encourage you especially those who are at there lowest point. *I do not know want it is like to have DP for year so my heart really goes out to.* *Especial those who it at really young age with know what was happen to them. Because of the media Marijuana is treated very differently than those like coke, heroine or meth when it just as dangerous. Does mary help some people Yes but can it really mess you up severe.* But there is no warning label of the potential for DP so lots of young people will smoke it with there friends for the first time or try to stop smoking it and develop DP. This really suck but that is life sometimes people have free will and there can do whatever they want with there bodies.

I end this post with a quote "*Hope is perhaps the most important source of motivation*". So keep holding on people.PEACE

PS: It is only after I preview it did I realize how long it really was SORRY.


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## Alidp11 (Feb 12, 2014)

Nice post.


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## tmarrow (Feb 2, 2014)

Glad you've made it to the 'other side.' Hope that we all get there someday.


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## Dyna (May 13, 2010)

Congrats on your recovery. Can you tell me how long you had DP for? And what caused the onset? Is 25mg of Lamictal the only medication you are taking. Did you try many other drugs? Thanks, Dyna


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## Aokiji (Feb 18, 2014)

Hi Dyna. I had DP for about six months, from August of last year to January of this year. My DP was cause by a Depression which was cause because of unresolved issue with my father death and emotional trauma which I did not properly deal with while in my teen years. Lamictal is the only drug that I am taking right now and I am up to 100mg a day. Lamictal has a long titration period because of the potential to develop a very serious life threatening skin disease called Steve Johnson syndrome. *Please do not Google this condition*, as the pictures of the people with this condition will scare you especially since you have DP and lack the ability of perspective.

That is why you start at *25mg* for two week, then *50mg* for the next two week and finally *100mg* for a month. If your do get the rash in the first eight week which is a 1 in 1000 chance, once go to the hospital immediately you will be OK. In my research some people have taking this drug up to 400mg a day even more. I tried *Prozac* first but lasted only a week *because I did not listen to my doctor`s advice* and took the pill without a meal, MAN THAT WAS STUPID. I almost choke on my spit. This is not scared you because I did not listen her so paid the price. Any-more questions about this drug or some of the research I did compiling drugs and drug combo I will be glade to answer.Peace


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## 35467 (Dec 31, 2010)

I have tried a dose of 500.mg of lamictal with 40.mg cymbalta for 3.months with no effect.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Wow this is fantastic u are so very lucky!!


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## devin44 (Nov 19, 2014)

'*KFC MAN THAT TASTE SOOOO GOOOOD'

*Got a chuckle from me man! Glad you're all better now. Do us all proud.


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