# The Big Truth



## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Does anyone out there with Dp/DR feel like there is a big truth to face? Like everytime you do something, whether it be go out with friends,family, everything is an obligaion and it ALWAYS feels like you should be doing somehting else? Like you are ignoring somehting or yourself?

I feel like this and i am really trying to be true to myself, somthing is holding me back from moving forward - anyone else feel stuck? As if you are not moving forward or backwards?

Im getting by and everything, I havent been on here in ages, but its something I have been quietly thinking about, just wanted yur thoughts.

Love and respect to all

Robyn x


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## seanhunta (Jan 31, 2008)

yeah i feel like im stuck aswell, feels like the same thing ova and ova wake up have breakfast then back into bed, depression is starting to build now aswell. i cant stand watching tv or reading the paper kills me to see people enjoying their lives


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Im so sorry you feel that way too. Tell me what you enjoy doing, lets help eachother ok?

Can i ask ( I dont need you to tell me what it is) But do you know what may have caused your DP/Anxiety?

Robyn


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## cromanyak (Aug 19, 2007)

I have that feeling alot too. It's like I have some kind of unfinished business, but I don't know what it is. I know that when I skip doing Zazen(zen meditation) in the morning I feel it alot more. I think it's part of the disorder still lingering. Just a general sense of fear that you've done something wrong even though you know you haven''t.

Chris


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Thing is, when I dont do something like, meditation or go for a walk or do something that pays attention to the fact that im "not quite right" i feel better about it. When i don't, i guess i internalise so much, trying to get to the very root cause of my anxiety.

When i go out etc, to the shops or wherever i feel like im doing something wrong, like im COMPLETELY on the wrong path, and it makes me want to drop everything and just follow everything thats in my head, does that make any sense at all to anyone?

Robs xx

P.S - How can i find this zen meditation?


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## cromanyak (Aug 19, 2007)

You can find out how to do Zazen on the internet. There different forms of it. The kind I do focuses mainly on keeping good posture. You don't try to change anything in particular about the mind. You just let be natural. Having a balanced posture when sitting let's the mind settle on it's own. Here's a pretty good explanation here. http://www.sotozen-net.or.jp/kokusai/howtodozazen01.htm

if you have any more questions let me know,

Chris


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Thanks Chris,

I was just wondering, with Dp, do u find part of yourself wants to internalise, like go completely "inside yourself" and the other trys to be external i.e when talking to people? So your mind ends up fighting against itself? This is whats happening to me and it causes me great distress and severe migranes! x


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## cromanyak (Aug 19, 2007)

Yeah definitely. It feels like your brain is locking up or being pulled in two different directions. That's one of things that Zazen has helped with. I can see myself trying to turn inward and instead of fighting it I can usually just let it be there and continue to function. I still get that feeling alot but it's not as debilitating. I used to not even be able to carry on a conversation. The main thing is try not to fight it. That's just another form of internalizing cause you focus all your attention on it. It takes practice but you can overcome it.

Chris


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## psychiatrysucks (Oct 17, 2007)

Robyn,
I have felt that way my whole life- like im not being true to myself for some reason. Mine has taken itself to extremes where I thought I would be punished by God for not being true to myself but I didn't exactly know what to do to be true. I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I'm pretty sure that feeling/thought that I am doing something wrong is just my illness. I have struggled with it my entire life. I keep on telling myself its okay im not doing anything wrong but my thoughts are trying to mess with me. I'm not sure if this is what you are talking about. Do you have OCD


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Hey,

I don't think I have OCD, but I am aware of others that have it. My thoughts about OCD, is that it is an avoidance technique, maybe you feel guilty about something - only you cannot remember what as you were a child - and its your subconscious' way of "making up for it". I think I have made my own avoidance techniques too. Jumping from relationship to relationship, maybe im searching for something to compensate the loss inside - who knows im not a shrink!

I think possibly im holding on to extreme guilt, silly thing is im not sure what ive done, so im trying to figure out what i could have "thought" i had done wrong as a child i.e maybe i unknowingly blamed myself for my parents divorce etc.

What about you? Im guessing you had a few problems in your past too and you need to get rid of that baggage to move on x


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## xxxphillixxx (Jun 24, 2008)

Robsy, I've noticed that your problem or state of mind seems to be revolving around one big thing, like this truth, guilt, or innerchild. but the fact that it seems to be a certainty, im sure once you find out what exactly this is, these symptoms and such will go away.


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## Robsy (Dec 3, 2007)

Hey

I believe so too, not instantly but everyting will unravel over time. ive been stuck for over a year, so someting has got to rear its ugly head....eventually  xx


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