# Terrified



## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

i can't shift this train of thought. Im fed up of living with this crap inside my head all the time and i dont want ot do it anymore. Ive never felt like this before and its horrible. Panic does not do it justice, ihave this horrible disease inside myh head and i just want it to stop. I can't take it anymore, i dont want to kill myself but i dont want another day of this.


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## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

try to keep busy when you feel like this. It helps me. Im feeling the same way right now. I wake up and theres nothing in my mind! I force myself out of bed, Then things pick up a little. Hang in there, things will get better!


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

codeblue213 said:


> try to keep busy when you feel like this. It helps me. Im feeling the same way right now. I wake up and theres nothing in my mind! I force myself out of bed, Then things pick up a little. Hang in there, things will get better!


I really do hope, i just need something to go for me. I want my life back so much, but the way im feeling is changing everyday and getting so much worse. The more i think about how fucked up my thought dissociation is it worries me so much, im living with something inside my head, its like some sort of sick torture.


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## Teresa (Nov 23, 2009)

Wobbler... are u on any meds right now?

I know exactly what u meen.... I have the same caos in my head...


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Just wondering man, what's your worst symptom? I really feel bad for you because I've seen most of your posts here and you always describe a very intense pain, you seem to suffer 24/7, and that must be really horrible.. for example, toady I feel extremely DP'd and uber anxious, I couldn't feel any worse I think, and I wonder if you feel like this everyday.. I really hope not


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## snow storm (Aug 10, 2010)

I feel bad for you as well, seems like you've had a very hard time for quite a while. 
Tried any antipsychotic? 
Hang in there, suddenly you'll find something that helps you.


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## Onibla (Nov 9, 2010)

Stop fighting the thoughts. Leave them to themselves. Let the crazy thoughts do whatever they want whilst you attempt to focus on completing some objective (read a book, sit through a movie etc). 
It's hard to explain but you got to let them be there but not give them any real attention.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I should really get to bed but I just thought I'd tell you how I got better. I still feel confused and awful, but it's a lot easier to handle than the really heavy shit I used to have 24/7 a year ago.

I know how hard it is to do what I'm about to tell you, but if it works, it's worth it right?

You have to have something that grabs your attention or gets you out of the house, even if it feels like you are going mad and are about to die. I felt like my brain was in two parts, one of the parts walked to my left, and I saw only darkness when I stood upright, not to mention walked. I literally sat down in the middle f the road and cried and told my friend I was going to kill myself. I felt like there was NO HOPE, that I was damaged for good. It was like being on a drug from Hell, you know all to well how it is. I felt so horrible, there is no words. 
I still went out for walks, and after four months it got better. How did I manage to drag myself out of my room? I had a woman from some helping service that usually help old people, come to my house once a week and hold my hand as we walked around my block. That is how bad it was, and that was actually BETTER than it was half a year before. You have to just accept the suffering and follow some cave-man routine. Go out no matter what, even if it's at night, or dawn, whatever. Religiously.

Eat and sleep, but sleep with moderation at first. Get up at eight, go to bed no later than midnight. WHen you get better you can sleep more, it's good for you. But if you are still confused in the morning when you wake up, you are not ready to sleep when you feel like it. You have to give your mind structure, and then it will relax within these boundaries. But it takes time! Give it at least three months.

There is no edge to go over. You are on a drug your brain invented, it wears off. It's like LSD from hell, but it goes away. You can never go over the edge, from here on you go towards recovery. Layer by layer, all of them different and screwed up, you get closer to reality.

This is how far I've come. Get someone to talk to, it's important to vent all your fear and suffering to another human being. Keeping a journal is good too.

For Gods sake take magnesium, pure as possible, and eat as much as you can of everything natural. You need nutrients.
Don't get de-hydrated.

OKidoki, I'm off to bed.

'night

*"You have to give your mind structure, and then it will relax within these boundaries"*


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