# I don´t want to be a solipsist



## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

Hey,

I do have these weird thoughts and feelings for 1 year now. I only "felt" real for 3 weeks in this time and knew it were just thoughts. I have to think about solipsism and that I am the only person that exists. It started with thoughts 1 year ago and now I kind of "feel" solipsism. It´s true that solipsism doesn´t make any sense yes, but it´s so hard to resist since I have such a weird feeling of being unreal and others are just figments of my mind.

I also have thoughts like " What if I have always been a solipsist?"

I told myself 1 month ago, its okay to feel like this atm and that it isn´t permanent and it slowly began to fade and I felt a little more real and connected to other people, but then out of nowhere everything felt unreal again. It´s like I woke up and everything felt so weird again and even though I kept telling myself that it´s okay to feel like that and to have these thoughts atm, it didn´t help and it´s been 1 week now, since I feel unreal again.

The past 3 weeks felt good and I was like 90% cured for that time, but now it feels like I am stuck in here forever.. :-/


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## ivleo (Nov 18, 2019)

Go out. Enjoy life. Feel things.
Solipsism is a stupid philosophical matter that completely destroys anything that could be worth living. 
The good news? It's total bullshit. 
You're focusing on solipsism because you're scared of it, and fear makes everything seem real. 
Why are you assuming it's true in the first place, and why solipsism? 
Let me elaborate. 
It's kind of like any other philosophical idea/religion.
Heaven, hell, non duality, nirvana. 
Stuff like that. Solipsim is simply a scary idea, a construction of your warped state of mind due to dp.
You're not a solipsist, because who you are depends on your interactions with people and other surroundings. Don't be discouraged, you can get through this.


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

ivleo said:


> Why are you assuming it's true in the first place, and why solipsism?


Only because I am so scared of this so my brain thinks it´s true. There is no reason to believe in this theory, but my brain wants to convince me and sometimes my brain is successful in doing so.

I just don´t know how get back to where I was; I mean the past 3 weeks I felt good but after I woke up 4d ago, I have this weird feeling again


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## Al_pk (Apr 20, 2019)

Why have you come to the conclusion you will have it forever when it is now obvious you are experiencing recovery? That's how recovery goes, it is not a linear line, it is a drawn out process of uncertainty, ups, and downs. If I had 3 weeks of feeling 90%, i'd be over the moon. As it is, im stuck at 60. You have your proof that you are recovering now

Just realise that this is what recovery is like. There will be breaks in the storm and setbacks.

You're not a solipsist. You don't care about solipsism. It's not your interest. It is a bullshit notion you are being forced to experience by your worn down, anxious and overactive mind

Pure illusion and utter nonsense

Keep your positive side active and don't let anything break that. I've been where you are, now i laugh in the face of solipsism

You will be there too, and quite soon i reckon


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

wow thank you very much, helps me a lot


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## Al_pk (Apr 20, 2019)

For now, just try and get back into that mode of acceptance.

Your brain will be trying to feed you false information all day. It's just what it wants to do right now.

The brain is an excellent servant, but a terrible master.


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## ivleo (Nov 18, 2019)

I thought I was recovering as well. I had a complete mental breakdown over it today.
I don't wanna believe in solipsism, I hate it with all my heart..but since it can't be disproved my brain keeps telling me that there's a slight chance that it could be real, that all of this is an illusion. I keep going on the internet to look up articles about solipsism, I just can't stop.
Hopefully we'll get over this.


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## Al_pk (Apr 20, 2019)

Thing is, Ivleo, normal, non-DPd people have a tolerance for uncertainty. Anxious people do not. Everything must be known, everything must be set in stone. Enigmas are intolerable.

When I had solipsism it drove me insane.. the need to solidify my existence with whatever proof I could.

But I couldn't find any

At some point i decided even if this was some kind of whacky simulation id have some fun before the end

When i started having fun, over time i forgot it was a simulation

I regrew my tolerance for lifes uncertainty, and when i came back to solipsism a year later, it had become false, abstract, and not worthy of my time. I got my true mind back. So far away from the panic attacks and anguish of old times

I recovered completely. You can too

But you will never win by trying to think and argue your way out of it, that's just not how it works


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

Hope I can overcome this as well. I think, as you mentioned, they key is to ignore it.. It´s hard and 9 out of 10 times I kind of ( not 100% ) believe what my brain tells me. I know my brain is trying to convince me that solipsism is true and it´s so hard to fight against it, but I think when you are back to "normal" state, it will be much easier to understand. 
I don´t even care if you can proof or disproof solipism, I just want to be 99,999% certain that solipsism is false. I mean, you cannot be 100% certain, but I just want to be able to tell myself that solipsism isn´t true, but it´s so hard atm, which scares me as well. 2-3 y ago I was 100% sure solipsism is not true but now my brain doesn´t allow me that.


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

I don´t mind if it´s a simulation or not, the only thing which disturbs me is the idea of being the only conscious person in the universe. I almost discarded all other stuff, but this one is hard for me


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## Al_pk (Apr 20, 2019)

You will overcome it. You're only thinking about the need to be certain or not because you're still under the influence of anxiety.

You say you cannot be 100% certain, but you can. I suffered it, now i am back in reality and i know, with no doubt in my mind, that solipsism is complete nonsense.

I don't even need any proof or rationalisation because I regained my sense of self, my self-assuredness, my emotions, empathy and sense of humour, and my relaxation.

When you feel like yourself again you will not even be thinking in terms of being 99% sure.

We're all real Respekta. Reality is how it always was and one day you will know this as fact.

Get some rest over the holiday period


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## ivleo (Nov 18, 2019)

The evil demon thing scares me more than solipsism, honestly. Skepticism just isn't for me


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

I am able to discard all that weird stuff like evil demons and stuff like that, but solipsism I am just not able to forget/ discard. I think I have to get some distance from these thoughts and my feelings/ thoughts will fade. I wish I could tell myself that everything around me is real, but I just can´t atm. It´s much better than it was 1y ago, when it all started, but I am still not where I want to be. Actually solipism in its theory doesn´t scare me that much, it´s more like that I am not sure, if I do believe these thoughts or not and that does make me feel anxious. I don´t want to believe in that thoughts, but my brain wants to convince me that solipsism is true. I hope this is "normal" for ppl with an anxiety disorder or OCD and I hope I can be 100% sure that everything is real one day.


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

Sorry for not answering these questions. I am already in therapy but it doesn´t help me at all. I do have my last session next week after 80 hours. I went to many psychologists and all said it will be better in the future. What makes me sceptical is that you cannot proof that others are conscious. I just don´t want to believe in these thoughts but it´s easier said than done.


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

Have you been to therapy for OCD though? ERP therapy?

I've talked to so many people that had this and got through it, I had it myself a long time and somehow it went away for a few years, but it came back.

Im going to an OCD specialist soon, as therapy for OCD is much different than traditional therapy. If you want to see any advice ive been given I have a lengthy post on the OCDUK forum where i've been nervously asking for help there.


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## ivleo (Nov 18, 2019)

Hosscat, I've seen some of your replies on a lot of solipsism-related threads. Has ERP worked for you before?


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

It did when I did it and got busy. You need something that keeps you very busy. It would very rarely pop in and it didn't feel probable or important anymore, and it popped away. I felt back to normal.

Sadly some major stress is what caused this relapse I'm pretty sure.
And yes, with OCD what you fear does feels true.

I'm assuming you are at the point where you aren't as anxious, but kinda depressed by it still, and dwelling alot huh?


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## ivleo (Nov 18, 2019)

Yeah. When my mind is clear and I'm lucid, solipsism doesn't bother. 
It seems like I can't make concrete progress though. It comes back every other week, lol. 
My OCD is trying to make me disprove scepticism, but it's impossible. 
The thoughts scare me, so I keep relapsing.


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## Emptyflask (Jun 29, 2019)

Give yourself time to get over it. Dont expect it to go away over night. Itll continue to be hard but itll lessen if it hasnt already. The fact you dont want to think this already goes to show that the thoughts are losing their power over you. Lots of us have been where you are or are in it right now too. The problem is an intolerance for uncertainty. The thing is, you can be totally certain solipsism is a delusion thats only a product of an overly stressed and overthinking mind. Just think about what others have shared on here. Think about what feels right to you. Do you really think only one conscious mind would exist without any context or explanation? What would be the point in that even if it were possible? Living is ment to be shared by multiple beings. Plus, if you were alone, how would you explain your existence? For me, looking at it scientifically helped.


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## Emptyflask (Jun 29, 2019)

Heres the thing. This is what truely made it die for me.
If you were alone, as a one person audiance for the universe, there would be no reason what so ever that other beings would be simulated in your reality. Why? Because what use would they have? Entertainment? Theres no game going on with things trying to convince u that they are real. Because if they werent real, they wouldnt fuckin be here. Your mind would have no use for them. In fact, you would never have even thought of a reality with others in it at all because you need an actual external invironment to even put ideas in your head. If it was all being simulated just for you, you would have a totally different reality where you wouldnt even know others existed in the first place. And in the case that its all just your imagination, how would you be able to imagine others when you wouldnt even be aware of the concept that there could be others? Because if you were alone in your existence, the thought wouldnt even cross your mind. You have to be born into a world with other beings to even consider the idea that others exist. In other words, they have to BE there for you to even question it. And in the case that god or some other force was creating this for you, then that REALLY means your not alone because there would be another consciousness, god, and if it can make a reality for you, it could easily make more. Why would it stop with just you? Think about it.


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## ivleo (Nov 18, 2019)

good arguments! 
I was thinking of making a groupchat for those who suffer from this particular ocd theme/existential fears in dp/dr.let me know if you'd like to join


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

Tomorrow will be my first meeting with a therapist about this issue. Hope they can help some. Will let ya all know if I learn anything useful.


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## AlPal24 (Mar 23, 2020)

I have learned that this fear is not solipsism itself, it is the fear of being alone. You probably experienced something traumatic relating to being alone, feeling abandoned or such. This will pass. Go on about your day and let the thoughts flow by. I am dealing with the same problem currently. There is nothing wrong with you it is your sensitivity to the subject it makes you anxious. Stay strong.


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