# feeling like i am constantly on a drug..



## penny (Apr 27, 2009)

I feel asthough i have just smoked a huge joint and im stoned! Thats the best way i can describe it. My memory, perseption, thinking, surrounding, myself, other people all are out of wack! Im slow and confused, think weird thoughts...i feel exactly like i have just had a huge joint!
Does anyone else feel like this??


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## Guest (Apr 28, 2009)

Oh absolutely. I wouldn't describe it as like being stoned on weed though. I mean, I used to get stoned a lot and for the most part have a jolly old time (apart from the last time when I had a one-night stand with the Mother of All Panic Attacks). This feeling is terrifying. Maybe some of the terror comes from the fact that it a) doesn't go away after a while, and b) is something that's present despite one's actions, but in any case, it feels qualitatively different to being stoned. I'd describe it more like being drugged with some dissociative drug. That's what I tell all the professionals I've seen. Not that it does any good; most of them haven't got a clue what I'm jabbering on about.


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## penny (Apr 27, 2009)

I havent smoked in over 3 years but im not talking about the funny, giggly part of being stoned, but that feeling of lake of concentration, memory and perseption of everything thats going on around u....?? That extremely detached, foreign feeling...


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## Guest (Apr 28, 2009)

Don't you know swimming in a lake of concentration is bad for you?

I think I know what you mean though. When people say, 'It's like being stoned' I always think, 'The hell it is!' But the more I think about it, the more I'm aware of the characteristics DP and being caned have in common. At university, I and my then friends ate a load of hash cake one night and the way I felt that night wasn't too dissimilar to the way I feel right now.

It must be the total lack of control and unsolicited aspect of it which accounts for its scariness.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

What really freaks me out is the way the symptoms are always changing. One day it's pure, evil anxiety, the next I'm fog-brain, then I'm just not sure where the hell I am, and then there is the mix of all the above, the confusion and the terror.

The CBT therapy woman I'm seeing started to tell me how I had to make sure I set boundaries for myself when with other people (sorry if my english is laking in correctness), or I'd become psychotic. Thanks alot!!! Now I'm thinking weird things like "I feel like I'm melting. I will become pancake-batter. I'll freak out thinking I'm a pancake and that people will eat me." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She just fed my worst fear!!!


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

yeah that sounds like the worst advice one could possibly give a patient with dissociation and extreme anxiety. You just dont do that. Giving someone another thing to fear especially from the mouth of a "professional" is ludicrous. Luckily, I think everyone on this site can tell you that you aren't going to become psychotic. I've had the melting fear myself actually. It was yesterday or the day before i believe. So far, no melting. Ive had just about every fear in the book and some that i think could probably be added to the book such as the fear that i'm going to start floating up into the sky and not have anything to grab onto and then combust once i reach space. Haha, I think the thing to remember here is that although we have all these ridiculous thoughts and fears, none of them have ever happened and none of them are going to happen. It's good to trust therapists but you always have to be on your guard in any situation to weed through some of the bullshit that is waiting to come out of anyone's mouth.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

Thanks, good to hear I'm not alone :lol:



> It's good to trust therapists but you always have to be on your guard in any situation to weed through some of the bullshit that is waiting to come out of anyone's mouth.


I know, but it's tiering to feel you have to be so critical and on guard all the time, I'd like to meet a great therapist, or buddhist monk for that matter, in which I could really trust and learn from.


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## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

penny said:


> I feel asthough i have just smoked a huge joint and im stoned! Thats the best way i can describe it. My memory, perseption, thinking, surrounding, myself, other people all are out of wack! Im slow and confused, think weird thoughts...i feel exactly like i have just had a huge joint!
> Does anyone else feel like this??


For sure. 
Although this is horrible, with the anxiety and all.


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## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

Oh but I suppose it makes me feel better if I tell myself I'm high.
Then it makes me feel as though I'm okay


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