# Recovery



## ihatethis_ (Feb 25, 2012)

Hi folks! I just wanted to stop in and update you all on my progress. I am almost fully there! I would say that I am in the final stage of recovery which is really working to pick up where I left off. I think I was one of the worst cases of this, which was brought on by a massive panic attack. I suffered for about 5 months, much of that in bed, until it started to ease up. I've never experienced anything so horrifying in my life, even though I've been through a major illness. I want to tell you all to hang in there, you are stronger than you think! I wanted to give up so many times and there were also those times when I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to get better. But I stuck in there with what ever tiny amount of strength I had and I am so proud of myself! Enjoying life, my kids, not depressed or scared of every little thought that enters my head. You can do this! For those who want to know how I did it, I would say to take advantage of the good days and just be with your condition when it's bad. I didn't force anything and let my body heal. It will pass. Take help if you need it. B12 helped immensely. Therapy. I am also on Zoloft and Lorazepam/Klonopin as needed (but I don't really use them anymore.) I just want to tell you it's going to be ok.

much love,

Lyn


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

ihatethis_ said:


> Hi folks! I just wanted to stop in and update you all on my progress. I am almost fully there! I would say that I am in the final stage of recovery which is really working to pick up where I left off. I think I was one of the worst cases of this, which was brought on by a massive panic attack. I suffered for about 5 months, much of that in bed, until it started to ease up. I've never experienced anything so horrifying in my life, even though I've been through a major illness. I want to tell you all to hang in there, you are stronger than you think! I wanted to give up so many times and there were also those times when I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to get better. But I stuck in there with what ever tiny amount of strength I had and I am so proud of myself! Enjoying life, my kids, not depressed or scared of every little thought that enters my head. You can do this! For those who want to know how I did it, I would say to take advantage of the good days and just be with your condition when it's bad. I didn't force anything and let my body heal. It will pass. Take help if you need it. B12 helped immensely. Therapy. I am also on Zoloft and Lorazepam/Klonopin as needed (but I don't really use them anymore.) I just want to tell you it's going to be ok.
> 
> much love,
> 
> Lyn


congrats Lyn! hope i can get to where you are soon! but may I ask, how do you know when your on the last stage? might sound dumb, but im just curious. cause i dont know where im at in recovery.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

That's great! I don't think you should say you were probably the worst case though, each one perceives things differently, and there's never a way to see how much someone is suffering


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

this is going to get rated badly but..........having dp for 5 months is one of the worst cases?..(!!??!!!)


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## ihatethis_ (Feb 25, 2012)

kate_edwin said:


> this is going to get rated badly but..........having dp for 5 months is one of the worst cases?..(!!??!!!)


Yeah, that is why I left/am leaving the site. I just wanted to post something to give people some hope. But my experience on this site has ranged from relief that there were folks in like situations, to anger that people that have nothing better to do/don't know you would say awful things in chat, to disappointment that folks in this community feel that you are somehow not "as tough" if your DP hasn't been with you for years or if you haven't experienced x symptom. Look, I know how bad my case was. I read hundreds of posts on here and only wished my symptoms were as such on many. Most days I wanted to die. I couldn't recognize my own family/house/city and wondered if I HAD died. I couldn't leave my house for months, let alone leave my bed. My mom had to basically move in with me and take care of my kids/house/make sure I ate, bathed myself. My life was a walking panic attack, and when it wasn't that, it was depression so severe there was nothing to do but cry and sleep. I had nightmares, I lost my job, and my marriage is still on the brink of collapsing because I was so gone during that time. The thoughts in my head were so loud and repetitive that I couldn't do anything but stare at the tv and pray that they would stop. The questions, the questions, the questions, begging for mercy. I was dizzy, exhausted, couldn't eat and so spaced out that carrying a conversation was out of the question, never mind trying to hear someone over the ringing in my ears. Due to "state specific memory" I can only recall so much, and I don't want to, but know that this was the worse thing I have ever experienced- even severe withdrawals from benzos during my second pregnancy that almost killed me and 6 months in bed unable to even walk across the hall to the bathroom couldn't top it. So I will let folks here continue to do what they do and move on with my life. I am damn proud of getting through this, as I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel better- What good was better when it was all a dream/fake?. I have seen so many posts of here from folks that are suicidal or don't see a way out, all I want is for people to hang on, use that shred of strength you have until you can grab some more rope. However long that takes is different for everyone. But there IS hope. That is all.


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## shattered memories (Jul 19, 2012)

am so very sorry lyn







thank you for sharing your story...we could always use positive examples such as your story. i agree its frustrating to see so much negativity but everyone reacts to their situations differently. i just learned to live and let live.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

ihatethis_ said:


> Yeah, that is why I left/am leaving the site. I just wanted to post something to give people some hope. But my experience on this site has ranged from relief that there were folks in like situations, to anger that people that have nothing better to do/don't know you would say awful things in chat, to disappointment that folks in this community feel that you are somehow not "as tough" if your DP hasn't been with you for years or if you haven't experienced x symptom. Look, I know how bad my case was. I read hundreds of posts on here and only wished my symptoms were as such on many. Most days I wanted to die. I couldn't recognize my own family/house/city and wondered if I HAD died. I couldn't leave my house for months, let alone leave my bed. My mom had to basically move in with me and take care of my kids/house/make sure I ate, bathed myself. My life was a walking panic attack, and when it wasn't that, it was depression so severe there was nothing to do but cry and sleep. I had nightmares, I lost my job, and my marriage is still on the brink of collapsing because I was so gone during that time. The thoughts in my head were so loud and repetitive that I couldn't do anything but stare at the tv and pray that they would stop. The questions, the questions, the questions, begging for mercy. I was dizzy, exhausted, couldn't eat and so spaced out that carrying a conversation was out of the question, never mind trying to hear someone over the ringing in my ears. Due to "state specific memory" I can only recall so much, and I don't want to, but know that this was the worse thing I have ever experienced- even severe withdrawals from benzos during my second pregnancy that almost killed me and 6 months in bed unable to even walk across the hall to the bathroom couldn't top it. So I will let folks here continue to do what they do and move on with my life. I am damn proud of getting through this, as I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel better- What good was better when it was all a dream/fake?. I have seen so many posts of here from folks that are suicidal or don't see a way out, all I want is for people to hang on, use that shred of strength you have until you can grab some more rope. However long that takes is different for everyone. But there IS hope. That is all.


Many people don't value your DPD experience because they have had it for years, and they felt better at times probably, there might've been someone out there (me for example) who after 5 months recovered completely, yet the symptoms came back and it was a living hell, that's probably why things go like this around here, anyways I do believe you suffered as we all did, and I hope you're recovering!


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