# Emotional numbness = no motivation, or very hard to love?



## ChrisBo (Oct 13, 2007)

Hi I'm new to this board, have been in checking it around some times before.. My story is I'm 24years old and for like 5-6 years ago I got intrusive thoughts, Pure O (OCD) and after that I got panic attacks for the first time.. I've been depressed and felt lonely, or like I won't fit in for like 10 years or as long as I can remember.. mostly when I was younger, that I didn't fit in feeling.
Like 2-3 years ago as I got on citalopram I ws prescribed my emotions flatened, and I still have this so distressing emotional numbness wich tortures me everyday.. like I don't cry anymore (was very sensitive and would cry easily before) I can't feel empathy, and love for the people around me, and it's so totally distressing.

I've been getting DP the last years too, the foginess before my eyes, and everything seems brighter, floaters, don't recognize myself in the mirror..

do anyone else feel as I they can't get interested in things they where before this emotional numbness? or as I tink is one of the most annoying things, that I don't get interested in girls the way I used to, I can't feel love anymore, and if a girl would walk up to me on a party or in a bar, I get anxious and flee, because I feel I can't feel anything for anyone and feel as it would be rude to date a girl or anything, getting together with her and stuff, when I don't feel my emotions..

a little long but hehe.. I just needed to vent off this weight too, as it is a real pain in the ass..

take care!


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## klt123 (Jun 15, 2005)

totally and it sucks.where do u live?


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## christodenisto2 (Oct 13, 2007)

Hi.

I have emotional numbness too!

yeah, I find it really distressing as well.

And I have the same problem with not being able to feel anything with women and it is devastating.

I hope you get better soon.


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## nu-power (Sep 27, 2006)

i have emotions but some of them dont come easy. my dp made me careless more than emotionless.


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## ChrisBo (Oct 13, 2007)

I live in sweden, yeah, and I used to do music and stuff alot, and now I just can't find the ability to create without doubting myself, is this really good?
And as music is a very emotional driven art, I just can't get anywhere with it, and feel like, I want to write a song about this or that..

do anyone feel as if they've lost their identity in some kind of strange way too?


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## BooJ (Oct 20, 2007)

I have been emotionally numb for about 2 years since I had my meltdown and then became to suffer what I would consider a form of DP.

I used to be quite an emotional kind of guy also perhaps guilty of being too emotional, these days I feel nothing. Not anger, sadness , happyness, jealousy I feel none of it.

Perhaps over emotional people reach emotion burnout and its not necesserily a sympton of any condition as such.


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## ChrisBo (Oct 13, 2007)

I get like small moments of feelings like I feel happy or sad, but I don't cry anymore, or if I do, it feels like I try to cry more, and it feels like I'm fakeing it. The same goes for laughing, I can't laugh like I did before, it feels like I'm just makeing it up, or laugh because I would laugh in that specific moment.. like in a intellectual way or something.

But the thing that gets me the most is that I can't make music like I used too, like being emotionally attached to it, and that I can't feel love and empathy for people around me, or the opposite gender..

I just go around all day hope for my emotions to return as they were before.


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## christodenisto2 (Oct 13, 2007)

ChrisBo, I understand where you are coming from.
I used to play guitar and sing and passionately express my emotions. I used to be emotionally moved by music all the time.
Now I feel nothing and have given up music.

BooJ, What precipitated your emotional numbness?
Was it depression? I got it that way.


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## AlexXD (Jan 6, 2008)

ChrisBo said:


> Hi I'm new to this board, have been in checking it around some times before.. My story is I'm 24years old and for like 5-6 years ago I got intrusive thoughts, Pure O (OCD) and after that I got panic attacks for the first time.. I've been depressed and felt lonely, or like I won't fit in for like 10 years or as long as I can remember.. mostly when I was younger, that I didn't fit in feeling.
> Like 2-3 years ago as I got on citalopram I ws prescribed my emotions flatened, and I still have this so distressing emotional numbness wich tortures me everyday.. like I don't cry anymore (was very sensitive and would cry easily before) I can't feel empathy, and love for the people around me, and it's so totally distressing.
> 
> I've been getting DP the last years too, the foginess before my eyes, and everything seems brighter, floaters, don't recognize myself in the mirror..
> ...


You sound just like me... Except that I've never taken citalopram or other medications. I have the goddam floaters and the fogginess...
I empathize (well, to the degree that I _can_.)


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