# My Self-Rapport Tools: overcoming nihilism



## ImaginativeMe (Oct 24, 2013)

Hi,

I used to come here in the past and post a lot.

That was when I was at University and suffering quite badly.

I prefere these days to look back and think I had NPD. I haven't been formerly

diagnosed with that, but I'm pretty sure if I described how things were for me

previously to a GP, he would probably believe me. I actually first considered myself

to have NPD at the age of about 5 years old. Possibly younger. I just prefered not

to talk about that in the past because I was frightened of the problem which I had

and actually couldn't find the cause of it. But these days I see it as a character problem,

and I have much less shame about it. I simply think of myself as born without

certain skills that other people have.

What has cured me of my difficulties (Perhaps not 100% but for the

purposes of everday living it is 100%) is learning how to Internalise Voice properly.

It seems I was born without knowing how to do this. Therefore in the past, I couldn't

hear voices of reason/conscience/community, when reflecting on things in my inner world.

I also didn't know the words Self-Rapport, which is like a rock to me now.

And I didn't know how to make dialogues and as it were, by acting, generate the seriousness

of composure necessary for emotions to be conveyed.

So I was really quite autistic. It was very frustrating because I was born with very high ethical values

and actually spent all my time praying about people and the worlds problems, and also thinking of others.

It was the Depth of emotion, which was the problem, and the understanding of the dualistic universe.

Well, it seems I had a Pile of Problems, and I must just list them here, so as to guide the reader towards what kind of Voices of Conscience, I like to meditate on now, to bring about seriousness of

composure of inner self, and a sense of having inner space:

- Byron Katie (The Work)

- the voice of conscience of having to work hard

- the voice of conscience that its right to earn ones own money (as a moral rule)

- the voice of conscience that it is wrong to speak excessively

- the voice of conscience that one should consider others, in a strong way. Ie. have attachment to their emotions and take their emotions seriously, and feel it in an inner space inside.

I also use the following self-rapport systems:

- jealousy, enviousness and covetousness

- Tired, Fed Up and Sick and Tired

- text, sub-text, underlying text, context, foundation (of what someone's saying, via their energy field by Speech Intonation.)

Everyday I make sure I move my emotions several times, and also bring myself to tears twice to make sure I'm living on the same planet as others.

I find the following Body-Language system helpful, which I worked out myself:

- seriousness

- literalness

- mysterious

(Those describe facial expressions, and quality of communication when speaking.)

By using these systems I can convey myself much better by speech intonation.

Oh, I forgot to mention Mental Shouting Technique, also.

But I don't have time to write about that in detail just now, cos I have to go.

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One last self-rapport system, I wanted to mention which helps me when doing Emotion Exercises:

- feeling touched

- feeling moved

- feeling the inner meaning of something

And two last words I found helpful when considering how to Analyse Stuff and form different Sentiments about stuff:

- Meaning

- Significance

The word Sentiment helped me a lot as well. It's a very important part of understanding Communication between people.

By thinking of the word Sentiment, one is then able to choose When/What/What Kind of sentiments one conveys, and also

how to explain dialogues, emotionally to the other person, about how one is relating to Sentiments, as something that

one wishes to bring out in the open, or hide away, or put to the side and so forth. Using spatial relationship sense of things

when playing with concepts. Speaking in such a way which uses the emotional body.


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