# Some things that helped me on the road to recovery



## MissLana (Jan 12, 2014)

Hello everyone! I'm new here. My name is Lana and this is my story. -- Also, any advice would be much appreciated.

For me, I think what makes my DP/DR worse is the fact that I have something called Dysautonomia and Mitral Valve Prolapse. I keep hearing connections about DP/DR and the 'fight or flight' response. Well, part of my Dysautonomia is that I have an overly active production of adrenaline. I don't expect many people to know what Dysautonomia is, but, in short, it's where the nervous system responsible for anxiety, fear, and all of those pesky high adrenaline sensations, kicks in way too much -- hence, the 'fight or flight' response. Meanwhile, the part of the nervous system that calms you down and forces you to chill out in these fight or flight sensations, gets over powered by the anxiety and stress.

I am on something called a beta blocker and that does help me quite a bit because a beta blocker helps to stop the over-production of adrenaline, hence, reducing tachycardia and reducing panic in general. If you sense that your DP/DR is making your adrenaline go sky high, then, I could see how this medication could help you.

How did I get DP/DR? Like many people, I smoked weed. In low doses, it helped calm me, and helped me with many of my nervous system problems. Then, I switched to a higher grade of cannabis one day, and bam, DP/DR hit me and I've been stuck in the haze for four months now. Unfortunately, the first month almost felt like... withdrawal? I had DP/DR but the physical stuff that I started getting after I quit smoking weed felt like flat out withdrawal. I was sweating terribly, and, I got cold and hot constantly, like my skin was burning and freezing all at once. I ended up in the E.R. three times, where my heart rate went up to 170 bpm and I was sure that I was dying, several times.

After a month, the physical symptoms completely went away, for the most part, but, I still feel them for a few days out of the month in a post-accute sort of way. My heart stopped racing, my anxiety lessened, and for a while, I was so sure that my DP/DR was getting better. Scratch that -- It IS getting better. I'm in a bit of a set back right now but I've seen what it feels like to be 10% away from being 100% normal.

I cut out caffeine, most sugars (except fruit and in the soy milk I drink), and I started eating lots of veggies, fruits, and raw foods, as well as lots of eggs and meats. I cut out most gluten, bread, wheat, and all that, also. Saying goodbye to pizza and pastries really helped sharpen my mind. At one point, I woke up feeling 5% better and felt like I was 5% away from being free of DP/DR. Why did I have a set back, then? I've been dealing with this for four months. The first few months, I kept reading that cannabis can mess with your neurotransmitters and make you anxious and depressed when you quit because it does something with the level of serotonin, dopamine, and that the brain requires a time of re-wiring in order to feel normal. So, I was in a mindset of feeling like I would 100% recover. There was no doubt in my mind. This haze was all just a temporary side effect of me stopping the weed and going into some weird-o withdrawal that most of you, and most doctors, would probably say is physically impossible. But hey, I felt so physically ill the first month, and I'm not sure what to call it, but, I felt like I had the flu, like someone hit me with a truck, sucked out my energy, and my heart wouldn't calm down without a benzo. The severity wore off after a month, so... it wasn't all psychological, for me, I don't think.

One day, I swear, I was 5% away from feeling completely normal and what did I do? I sat there, focusing on that measly 5 - 10% of abnormality and I decided to research DP/DR and saw posts where people said that some have it for 10++ years and I spun into a panic attack, imagining being stuck with that 5 - 10% of weirdness for the rest of my life. This immediately upped my DP/DR to being at around 20% away from being cured. So, I can definitely confirm that part of it is all in your head, unfortunately.

It also got worse for me because I cut down on how much Klonopin I take. I was only taking 1/2 a mg 2X daily even though my doctor suggested a full mg twice daily. I started taking 1/2 mg once daily and I noticed my anxiety was higher. They wanted to give me Klonopin before my DP/DR because Klonopin is one of the treatments for my Dysautonomia. I swear, it stops all of that pesky adrenaline from making your DP/DR so much worse. Don't be afraid to try a benzo. Benzos, in higher doses, can make people feel even more 'out there' and detached, but, for me, a small dose takes away some of the anxiety and I actually feel more down to earth and more real because, as we all know, DP/DR is an anxiety disorder, so, it would make sense that an anxiety medication could bring you back down to Earth. I am really starting to notice a connection between too much adrenaline and DP/DR. When you're in DP/DR, you're scared, and anxious, and you're always on edge, and that produces adrenaline. Maybe the reason I was so close to being out of this mess was because my beta blocker (an adrenaline blocker) and Klonopin were helping me. Here are some other things that helped me a lot besides my medications.

1) Binaural beats and isochronic tones. If you don't know what these are, they are a form of brainwave entertainment. For me, they feel like a much needed brain massage -- it literally feels like someone took my brain out, massaged it, and stuck it back inside my head. They use certain frequencies and require the use of headphones. They supposedly alter your brain wave patterns. For example, if you want to relax, go with a nice delta tone, because delta are the slowest moving brainwaves (for less excited activity). These beats make your brain mimic them, forcing your own brainwaves to chill out and relax (or speed up and focus if you use some of the higher frequencies) Whether they truly alter your brain waves, I don't know. They say they do. Many experiments and studies have been done, showing people's brain wave activities at the time of using these beats, and, the studies are pretty promising. There have been real studies that showed that, yes, brainwave entertainment is very effective for relaxation.

2) Light and sound machines. These are also called brain machines or AVS therapy. There are many on the market but there are some cheap ones. Most of them feature binaural beats (though not all), and, a pair of goggles or glasses that have flashing and blinking lights. When you wear these, with your eyes closed, the lights flash in a way that makes your brain completely want to let go of all stress. For a while, you exist in a sea of kaleidoscopic color, and, your brain gets a much needed rest from the rest of the world and all of the problems. I HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY suggest some of you research these. There were times I'd wear one of these gadgets for an hour or so, and, my DP/DR would get so much better. Like I said, it's like a brain massage.

3) I take a full vitamin B complex, magnesium, multi vitamin, and the most important of all (for me) is... fish oil. Fish oil alone can help so much. If you're not taking fish oil, I suggest you take 2X capsules of fish oil daily, and start using flax seeds in some healthy shakes, because flax seeds also have Omega 3s

4) Diet. Eat very well. Try cutting out breads and going gluten free. Try eating veggies, some fruits, meats, fish, avocados, and some raw foods like raw carrots. Just try it and see if you notice a difference. I also started using whey protein because I read somewhere that it helps increase serotonin, and, it did help me. I also noticed that some places I researched suggested that a lack of serotonin makes DP/DR much worse, so, look into foods and activities that naturally increase serotonin and see if that helps.

5) I know this is weird, but, what really helped me is to massage my eyes. Don't do this too roughly or you'll make them sore -- mine are currently a bit sore. Gently massage your eyes and see if any pressure releases. When I first started massaging my eyes, I'd notice sharp stabbing pains in my forehead and head, as the pressure and tension was being released from my eyes. Sometimes, all parts of my body would start feeling sore, like, my feet and palms. The amount of tension I was carrying in my eyes was unbelievable. A good eye massage usually makes my brain say "Thank you so much"

6) Water. Cut out the soda and junk. Cut out the sugar, unless it's minimal, or in the fruits you eat. Sugar has been known to increase my anxiety severely while I've been in DP/DR. I ate a box full of mochi ice cream and consumed more sugar than I thought (I didn't read the box) and I was feeling like I was so hyped up and anxious that I was going to crawl out of my skin.

7) If you don't want to try a benzo like Klonopin (although I do swear by it, because low doses help my DP/DR A LOT), look into things like 5HTP, GABA, Kava Kava, Valerian Root (which, is VERY relaxing and calming), and L-Theanine. I haven't tried all of these because some of these affect blood pressure, and, seeing as I'm on a beta blocker, I didn't want to risk it.. Another thing I do is drink chamomile / lavender tea. I guess regular chamomile is relaxing enough for the nervous system, but, I find the lavender to calm me so much more when it's added. If you don't want to try to get a benzo, because you don't want to get addicted, then I'd highly suggest Valerian Root. It's very relaxing and calming. And, this may not be for everyone (you may want to check with a doctor), but, St. John's Wort is known to increase serotonin in the brain. I truly believe that an increase of serotonin helps DP/DR. Exercise, eating certain foods, etc can all increase serotonin. In fact, research for yourselves on how to naturally increase serotonin without SSRIs. I truly believe this will help some of you. And, St. John's Wort so happens to be a very good anti-anxiety and serotonin booster.

 Distraction. I find this hard myself. This is what I tell myself sometimes: "So what if things feel weird or look weird right now? So what if you're having an existential crisis and irrational thoughts? GET OVER IT" Sometimes, you need to look your DP/DR in the face and just say "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"

Also, watching lots of movies, TV shows, reading a book, or doing puzzle games, video games, etc. all help distract my brain and I actually feel pretty normal when I'm not focused on this junk.

9) Epsom salt baths or foot soaks help calm you down. I swear by them. One time, I was out of my meds and was freaking out several months ago, and, a salt foot soak helped take the edge long enough for me to compose myself enough to go to the store without having that dreaded fear of going out in public as much.

10) Remind yourself of the you before DP/DR. Watch a movie, for example, that you last watched before you had DP/DR. Last night, I watched Tom and Jerry, which, I haven't watched since before this crisis. It took me back to being a kid and I remembered how normal I felt the last time I watched it. It gave me hope that I AM normal, and that this is just a glitch in my brain. I also look at other people, and think "They are normal. You WILL be normal again" and it helps. Also, remember old good times. Remember that time when you were a kid, swinging on the swings, DP/DR not even being in your realm of thought.

11) If you sleep deprive yourself, it will get worse. Trust me, I am sleep deprived now and feel wonky.

12) Being around someone or doing something you absolutely love makes DP/DR feel so much more tolerable.When I see my fiancee and kiss him or snuggle up to him, I don't focus on my DP/DR. All I know is that I am too freaking happy to notice anything else. Find something that makes you so happy that you connect to your emotions again.

13) Cry. Talk about it. Scream. Punch your wall if you have to. Yell into your pillow about just how much this DP/DR thing sucks. Scream and cry about just how much you hate this stupid DP/DR's guts and want to murder it and banish it forever. Also, recall every moment of your life that sucked. Recall everything that ever hurt you. Sob about it. Uncover demons you thought you dealt with, but, realized you never did. Recall back to that sucky childhood or that time you were abused or hurt. Sob. Sob out all of your pain. Release it. Emotional release is very important to healing. Emotional release makes you feel just a bit more human and a bit less of a robot.

14) Exercise. It helps. I can't do a lot because I have some adrenal fatigue going on, but, the little bit that my puny body can tolerate does help a lot. I imagine that some of you can exercise much longer than I can. Considering I have had amazing results from very minimal exercise, then, I'm sure some of you without dysautonomia (we with autonomic problems tend to be puny and weak) can really get benefits from exercising.

15) Take showers. They calm the nervous system and they sort of make you forget about the world and everything for a minute. You exist in this calm bubble where water is falling on you and you are in a relaxing and calming environment.

16) Laugh and smile. Fake it if you must. Make yourself laugh hysterically even if you absolutely hate everything around you, including yourself. The key is to get all of those lovely happy chemicals to start flowing again.

17) If you wake up and the first thing you think about is how much your DP/DR still sucks, that is likely to set the tone for the rest of your day. One day, I woke up going "UGHHHH, WHY DOES EXISTING FEEL SO WEIRD? WHY DO I EVEN EXIST??" Yeah, do you think I had a good day that day? Nope.

18) The amygdala part of the brain is very much responsible for the anxiety, fear, and panic that often fuels DP/DR. It causes a chain reaction. You can't get out of your DP/DR or at least see massive improvements if your stress is still there -- yet, your anxiety and stress is here because of your DP/DR. When you wake up, for example, and immediately notice that things still look fuzzy, blurry, weird, hazy... your amygdala responds and you start this panic reaction of "OH MY GOD, WHY IS EVERYTHING STILL BAD TODAY? THIS SUCKS. EVERYTHING SUCKS" and I'm pretty sure your adrenaline goes up, and your anxiety goes up, and bam, you're feeling much worse.

Mind over matter is important. No matter how impossible. This is why EVERYONE suggests distractions. When you're playing Sudoku, or watching your favorite TV show, or movie, or reading a good book, your amygdala doesn't really have a reason to send out those pesky anxiety signals, because, you're not thinking about that stuff. You're thinking about what you're doing in the moment. The first month of my DP/DR, I couldn't handle being off benzos because of my adrenaline and Dysautonomia problems, because my heart was racing non stop, but, the only other thing besides meds that helped was me watching I Love Lucy and The Golden Girls all day and all night, to keep my mind off of everything. Just find something and plunge into it. Forget about the world for a few hours. Watch a movie or read a book. It's so good to just get away and get lost.

19) Meditation or just deep relaxation helps. I mentioned light and sound machines and binaural beats. These help me meditate and relax the most because relaxing pulses and flashing lights have been proven to have positive effects on the brain. I'd look into things like meditation, even chakra balancing (even if it's baloney, it's something to believe in and be positive about), brainwave entertainment, etc. Sometimes, my brain screams out for a deep relaxing time out, and, I turn on some binaural beats or isochronic tones, close my eyes, and let my brain rest. It can work if you research this stuff well enough.

20) Write. I don't know how or why, but, writing helps. I bought a DP/DR recovery course and one thing they did mention in the course, is that part of DP/DR is the right and left brain being out of sync with each other. Perhaps, writing can synchronize the brain, better, because you're using the parts of the brain required for language a lot more? I don't know. In the course I bought, I was told to integrate the brain because the right and left sides are not in sync as well. So, perhaps, research some brain integration techniques? One side of the brain controls logic, the other, creativity. One side of the brain is associated with experiencing more, the other, with observing. An imbalance between the right / left brain can lead to one feeling very out of whack, apparently. You just get... stuck. So, I suggest looking into some brain integration methods. Research for yourselves if there are any techniques for creating harmony in the left hemisphere of the brain and in the right.

So, anyways, those are my suggestions. I'd like to point out that I have DR more than DP. I'm a bit detached, but mostly, it's my vision and my perception of the world and myself. Four months ago, things were truly frightening. 2D vision, like looking through a glass, and everyone looked like some 2D pop up out of a pop up book. Even when people turned, they looked flat and like they weren't 3D but were flat... like drawings on a paper.

Fortunately, my 2D vision has gone away but my depth perception is still off. I'm not sure what is off, exactly. Things no longer look like they're in a dream, or on a TV screen, but... there's this 'blur' and out of focus feeling... things aren't 2D, they ARE 3D, but, they still look a bit strange and like my vision is blurry and hazy. It's not as bad as it was, but, I feel like this is what is making my DP worse. I'm convinced that if my environment looked 100% normal, I'd be all anxiety free and would stop the small amount of DP that I have. I have DR more than DP.

So, is anyone else familiar with this whole funky vision thing? Some things I've noticed: My DR almost seems gone or almost gone when I'm in the right lighting. When I am in an area where there is a lot of light, like, in my bathroom (where there are seven bright lights), things look weird and out of focus. The first two months, I had complete 2D vision, complete dream state feeling, complete 'stoned' feeling is how I'd describe it. It literally felt like I was still in a marijuana high for months. The way things looked, the way I felt, it was all like being high. I've had 2D vision and DP/DR before, when I smoked, a few times. It always went away. This time, it's just been lingering for a while. Now, I'm not really in 2D, I'm not really in a dream, and, I know who I am, and I know I'm in 3D,and I don't really feel completely stoned out of my mind like I did, but... things look out of focus, and like my eyes don't adjust to the light properly -- like there is some blur or fog in my eyes, or in my brain. Things don't look as bad as they did months ago but they don't look like they did before I had DP/DR. It's like I am nowhere near as bad as I was four months ago but I am still not the way I was.

Is there any chance that this change in vision could be my neurotransmitters rewiring since my drug use? (Note: I only ever smoked cannabis, I NEVER did LSD or anything of that sort). I just keep reading that the brain needs time to rewire and heal after drug use, sometimes, and, that this could be a symptom. When my DP/DR was at an all time high (2D vision, feeling like I was in a dream, vision so blurry it was like I was in a fun house), I actually checked myself into a mental hospital because I felt safer there and thought I was going CRAZY. While in the hospital, I met a man who smoked weed for 15 years and after he quit, he said he 'didn't feel normal for a whole year' -- I was crying, one day, telling him I felt like I was in a dream, and I was having severe anxiety, sweating, loss of appetite, headaches, blurry vision, dissociation, and my head was so cloudy and I felt high and stoned all the damn time, and he just hugged me and said "Yeah... it took a year for me to get past all the physical and mental issues I had after I stopped smoking", so, it really made me feel like I wasn't alone. He didn't just have the DP/DR, too, he said, but, he also went kind of haywire in his bodily functions, too. I've had five doctors look me in the eye and tell me that getting off of weed won't cause any physical symptoms, yet, for a whole month that first month of being sober, I truly felt like I was dying every second of every day because so many things were going wrong with my body. I'm just praying that this whole DP/DR thing is just my brain adjusting to life without the fog of the chemicals of drugs.

Anyways, writing this has been therapeutic. I'm sorry that I wrote a whole novel here. Since I've had DP/DR, I started typing and writing A LOT. I always wrote a lot, but now, I just feel like maybe if I type all of my problems out, they will seem more 'real' and that I will somehow release all of the pain and tension I've felt while trying to slay this DP/DR monster. Any hints, thoughts, and suggestions for what I am doing wrong or might be doing better, would be highly appreciated. Thank you for listening to me.


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## MissLana (Jan 12, 2014)

For me, some days, I feel so close to being back to normal. Let's say that on a good day I feel 5 - 10% away from being cured. Then, I'll have an off day, where my vision will be more blurry and hazy, or I'll feel a bit more detached from myself, and that slows down my recovery greatly.

It sort of feels like I'm in some limbo between having full blown DP/DR and being normal. Back when my symptoms were really bad, the first two months after I stopped using cannabis, I had the whole shabang from feeling like a robot, to 2D vision, feeling like I'm in a dream, feeling 'high' all the time, vision is so flat and blurry, etc etc...

Now, it almost feels like I'm waking up out of that state, but, my brain feels like it's so tired. I can't explain it. I can't explain what's wrong. Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but, I feel like my brain just ran a marathon and although I no longer feel all high and intoxicated, and am no longer seeing things through a lense, it just feels like there's still this blur, and things are unfocused, and my depth perception isn't 100%

It reminds me of the time I had surgery and woke up with a morphine drip, feeling really loopy. So, totally detached isn't the right word. Loopy would be the right word. My biggest problem is that my vision isn't quite in focus, but, I'd say it's 60 to 70% better than it was four months ago. So, if the main problem with someone's DP/DR is the fact that their vision is out of whack and focus, is that something that is going to possibly work itself out? Taking fish oil helps so much with my vision. I keep seeing improvements every few weeks. I had a set back because I flipped out, thinking about being like this forever. Back when I was 100% convinced that this was temporary, my improvement rate was a lot faster. Then, I started going slightly backwards, by scaring myself.

I keep reading that those of us who used too much cannabis messed up our neurotransmitters and our brain chemistry, and, I've heard that as the brain restructures itself and gets back to how it was before drugs, it can cause an array of side effects. I keep reading that six to seven months is when some people with cannabis induced DP/DR see a huge breakthrough. I've already seen a huge breakthrough -- it's just this damn vision! This is why I said massaging the eyes really helps for me. It feels like my eyes and my brain have been focused on something far too long. Like, for four months, I've been transitioning slowly from a 2D into a 3D environment perception wise, and, although things are now 3D again, my brain is having a hard time focusing everything. It's like everything is permanently out of focus and my brain gets so overworked trying to focus on everything. In certain light, I almost feel completely fine. Then, I get into the dreaded supermarkets where the lights are super bright and there are 100s of things on the shelves, and, my brain gets overstimulated and things get even more blurry and hazy because it feels like I just can't focus on everything. I have hope, though, that my brain is just in a chemical imbalance and in a general fog because I tired myself out, first with smoking, and now with the DP/DR I got after I stopped. I almost want to build a time machine and yell at my old self for ever drinking, smoking, or doing anything that could cause dissociation.

I can't believe I used to find this feeling to be fun! It's all fun and games when you drink a bit or smoke a bit and get dissociated for an hour or so. But dealing with this for months or years? Makes a person want to stay sober for the rest of their lives. When and if I recover, I'm going to be scared of even drinking so much as a beer. I feel like maybe I was never cut out for mind altering things, and, this is my own fault. Ah well, 'cest la vie. I tell myself that it could be worse. I could be brain damaged or in a coma, somewhere. First two months of my DP/DR, though, I became convinced that I died and was on an alternate dimension where I was stuck in a permanent mental hell... those were not fun times.


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this out. I couldnt agree more on all of your points! I hope this post finds the people who really need to follow this advice. I know for me I still have terrible DPDR but leading a healthy lifestyle similar to what you have layed out is crutial to the recovery process. Key word, Process.


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## MissLana (Jan 12, 2014)

Last night, I had an hour or two of some clarity. I soaked my feet in an epsom salt bath. I always knew that stress and anxiety deplete magnesium, but, I never knew taking a supplement + soaking in magnesium salts would actually help THAT much.

I just feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin 99% of the time. Back when my DP/DR was 70% worse than it is now, months ago, back when everything was in 2D land, my doctors gave me Ativan (stronger than Klonopin, is up there with Xanax) and I actually felt soooo good and not anxious. It even brought my DP/DR down. Now, for whatever reason, I haven't even been taking my Klonopin despite the fact that I know it will help, because, I keep trying to be strong and go on without a benzodiazepine. Unfortunately for me, I have that dreadful Dysautonomia and before my DP/DR, I produced too much adrenaline and was in fight / flight mode a lot, naturally. Malfunctioning nervous system.

So, I feel like, my DP/DR is worsening my underlying problems, and because my underlying problems worsen, my DP/DR worsens, as well...

Oddly enough, I got to being like 5 - 10% away from feeling 100% normal but that was when I wasn't afraid to take a Klonopin. I know benzos have a bad reputation for being addictive, but, I was on such a good path to recovery and then I decided to taper off the benzo and womp womp womp....

Maybe I'm just one of those special cases since I have Dysuatonomia. Mind over matter won't really work for me because my body is constantly going like -- MUST PRODUCE ADRENALINE, MUST PRODUCE ADRENALINE. God. I feel like this nightmare will never, ever end.

I've been eating very healthy, avoiding most sugars, and I cut off processed foods completely and I swear, maybe I'm detoxing and it's making me feel temporarily worse. I've been eating spinach, LOTS AND LOTS of spinach, every day, on top of greens, wheat grass, and all that good stuff. I know some of those things can detox heavy metals, and, when you detox heavy metals, you will feel like crap because they get dumped into the blood stream.

Speaking of heavy metals, I have been thinking of getting my amalgam fillings removed. I only have five of them, but, I don't want that crap in my body. If your dentist ever tells you they are harmless, they are lying. Parts of Europe have outlawed them because it's just a proven fact at this point that the mercury does seep into the blood stream.

I also stopped using plastic bottles as of a week ago so maybe I'm detoxing whatever is in plastic, too? I'll tell you this much, though. My tinnitus has gone down drastically after just one week of using glass bottles and filters instead of bottled water. My tinnitus made my DP/DR so bad. To feel disconnected and to hear a loud ringing in your head 24/7 will drive anyone insane.

My DP/DR was actually also a lot better back when I was on processed foods, junk, sugar, plastic water bottles, and not being so health conscious. I changed my diet and lifestyle and bam, my vision is foggy and blurry and I feel kind of confused, sometimes. What gives? Is this proof that I am detoxing? Because if so, I am very fatigued and feel weird on top of everything else.

It was also better when I went out and did stuff more actively. Take it from me, laying around and being scared to leave your house is going to make it worse, even if it feels like it's going to do the opposite.

I don't understand why I got somewhat worse after I got SO much better. Perhaps I had more hope, then. I was very hopeful then. Perhaps it was because I took the occasional benzo then, which, I have cut down on drastically. Perhaps it's because I stopped using plastic bottles for a week, and started eating healthy all month.

But now that I think about it... Seriously guys, I am so freaking happy about one thing! I have had constant tinnitus for years and years and years. Sometimes, it just screams in my head. I never escaped from it for an entire decade. Every day, it would be ringing in my head like bells are going off. I switched to glass bottles instead of plastic for ONE WEEK and I can honestly say that my tinnitus is 80% better. It's gone down from a banshee screaming in my head to a very low pitched muffled ring that I can barely hear. I can't freaking believe it.

But uhhhh, since giving up processed foods, really sugary stuff, and eating lots of greens, veggies, and healthy stuff, I have been feeling god awful. So tired, more anxiety, more DP, more of everything.

To those of you who want to switch from plastic to glass, start eating lots of greens, and cutting out processed sugars and processed foods in general, be warned. You will feel like complete and utter crap for a while. At least I do. This is a setback for me. But, I truly believe that some of the things in processed foods these days is responsible for depression and anxiety. Just look at a typical box of mac and cheese. It has 80 ingredients on the back of the box that aren't even natural and are lab made. Who knows what the hell 1/12th of that stuff can do to your brain and mental stability.

I also noticed that when I switched to eating more raw foods and more greens, fiber, and healthy stuff (flaxseeds, chia seeds, wheatgrass, etc and many more), I went from going to the bathroom 2-3 times a week (TMI, sorry. I was very constipated) to going to the bathroom 1-2 times a day. Perhaps this is also inducing some sort of crazy digestive detox process which is making me feel like complete crap. I am eating SO many greens and I have a feeling my heavy metals are being flooded into the bloodstream and detoxing. Fun, fun, fun.

Some things I've learned this week:

1) Epsom salt foot soak every day will keep the anxiety away. So will some extra magnesium tablets. I'm about to soak right now.

2) If you absolutely need a medication like I might, don't be scared or feel like you're doing something wrong. Lots of people keep talking that DP/DR is mind over matter, but, your nervous system is likely hyped up and needs to be relaxed. If your anxiety isn't as severe as mine, then, drink some chamomile lavender tea and take some L-Theanine, GABA, or Valerian Root. Valerian Root was my go to best friend during panic attacks in the past.

3) I keep hearing that amalgam (mercury filling) removal has given many people more clarity, less brain fog, and less anxiety. Mercury CAN cause anxiety. In fact, my doctor told me that mercury and heavy metals will make my Dysautonomia (autonomic nervous system dysfunction) so much worse because since I have an anxiety disorder, and produce too much adrenaline, the toxic mercury will make me more anxious.

HOWEVER, I also know that when you remove them, you will feel like complete crap for a while because your body has to adjust to the change. Perhaps me eating so many greens and detox agents right now is giving me a taste of what it's like to start detoxing some heavy metals. I can't imagine how bad it'll be if you remove them. But, I'm going to start off slowly and remove two of them to see what happens.

4) Everyone, take your fish oil, magnesium, and B complex. It's the only thing that gives me any significant improvements supplement wise.

Also, does anyone know why my DP got worse than my DR all of a sudden? It was always the other way around. I had mostly DR with a bit of DP and now I'm heaving DP dominate the DR, even though, they're both still very present and annoy the crap out of me.

Many of you can probably relate. I feel like I'm in a little bubble, feeling hopeless, and watching the rest of the world be 'normal' and go by while I suffer.

I told myself that if I ever get out of this hell, I will not take things for granted. I used to be petty about some things, too, but now I can't stand it. I go on my Facebook and I see people complain about how their boyfriends / girlfriends haven't texted them back, or how they want to kill themselves because someone said something mean to them, or I hear people complaining about how much the world sucks because of this, or because of that...

I get so mad, now, because I just want to scream at every one of those people and remind them that at least they feel normal and should stop taking everything else for granted. You don't know just how bad life is until you don't even feel connected to your own life. I'd pay thousands and thousands of dollars just to feel normal, again.

Sorry for the long posts. I'm a venter. I need to vent or else I'll feel like I want to burst out crying. I haven't done that for a while but every few weeks or every month or so, I'll sob for 30 minutes because I just hate this all so much. Worst thing I've ever dealt with. Even my dreams feel more real and vivid. I don't have DP/DR in my dreams and it's beautiful. I did have one dream, though, where my whole dream was full of DP/DR and everything was a haze even in my dream. Shows how much this has taken over my mind. Those who say to just ignore it and not think about it... Kudos to you, guys. I thought about it less when I took my meds, though, granted. I think I'll pop 1/2 of a Klonopin and will soak in Magnesium and will play my silly little Android games on the phone. Games really help, I noticed. Your brain forgets everything when you're sucked into a great video or computer game!


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## MissLana (Jan 12, 2014)

I'd start chelation but I still have mercury fillings, so, it's like a constant dump of mercury into the blood stream so long as they're there.

I think I'm going to go have two removed to see if it makes a difference. I don't want to get exposed to too much mercury vapor. Also, lots of people report feeling crappy after amalgam removal. I believe I read somewhere once that the removal of the fillings actually causes the body to dump some excess stored mercury into the blood stream as an equilibrium type of effect.

I do know one thing. Less mercury = less anxiety and less stress on the nervous system. Mercury stresses the nervous system so much. If I had known I'd get DP, I'd have hurried up and gotten rid of my fillings long ago. Last thing I need right now are more nervous system problems, especially with my Dysautonomia and constant state of fight / flight mode. Meh.


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## Big Ben (Dec 8, 2013)

Hey you guys!

I am joing you both in the Dysautonomia club!

Love Ben


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## MissLana (Jan 12, 2014)

I'll risk the mercury vapor because if you think about it, dentists replace mercury fillings to put new ones in all the time and get exposed to it. Once, when I was younger, I had to have two fillings drilled out and two new ones put in and I didn't notice any weirdness from the mercury vapor. I think if they hold the suction to the tooth, it should suck a lot of the vapor out. If anything, I'll do this gradually because I counted and I apparently only have five fillings so if I get two taken out, that'll be almost half done.

Hey Ben, welcome to the Dysautonomia club. My Dysautonomia has gotten much more annoying since getting DP - it's like I am in a worse state of autonomic distress. Boo. At least my beta blocker and very low dose of Klonopin stop me from feeling too crazy. It seems to me that some people with panic and anxiety fueled DP seem to be in autonomic distress, too. The fight / flight BS and higher adrenaline seem to be common in DP. I wonder if, because we already had those types of problems before, we became more prone to getting it. If so, just another reason to hate my nervous system. And I already hate it loads. 

Thankfully, my DP seemed to have gotten loads better these past few days!

Has anyone else noticed that that things that release endorphins can greatly reduce their DP? At least it does for me. I'm guessing feel-good chemicals make everything seem better. I always sensed that a DPed brain is out of whack in the dopamine, endorphin. and serotonin department. I'm always so blue and depressed until I start laughing, smiling, having a good time, or really enjoying myself. I want to read up on more natural ways (besides sex ) to increase those feel-good chemicals because I definitely sense that DP gets less severe when I'm uplifted and having a good time.Edit

Edit: Feel much better today. I do everything I mentioned in my first post daily -- good diet, lots of veggies and fruits, no gluten or bread, I take supplements, I do take a mild anti-anxiety (Klonopin), and I have been being more positive and I woke up this morning feeling like full recovery may be a mere month or two away. My biggest symptom today is that the brain is foggy and tired. My vision hasn't been clear since getting DP but it's more in focus now.

At first, my DP felt like a complete dream, but now I just feel groggy all the time, my vision isn't in focus, things aren't crisp and clear, and, I feel a bit out of it. But it's heaps better than it was. Does this mean that my DP is tapering off or something and these are the last few residual side effects before my brain goes back into normal function? God I hope so.


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## Nathanael.A. (Apr 16, 2013)

Did u get round to trying kava kava? In the past I tried drinking the root mixture in a beverage, it didnt go down easy (cs of the taste), so If I decide to do it I think u can get it in capsules, I'll post on how it goes


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