# Not sure anymore :(



## Whitehazel (Jun 14, 2011)

I'm in a really bad place today. I FEEL like I'm getting better but then I question it. My main reason for DP is existential OCD. Feelings of why do we exist, how, what's the point? Etc...

Usually I can open a window see the world, hear it and feel it and go ok yep! See it is real. But then today I had a thought "well just because you can feel it, how do you KNOW it's real?" I'm so DPed and anxious over this thought









I know it's normal to contemplate existance while having DP because it makes you feel so unreal but I just can't wrap my head around it







I can't accept it and move on, I can't seem to ignore it! Am I just not trying hard enough?

Sorry, I mainly needed to vent. I'm feeling so overwhelmed and extremely hopeless at the moment. I just don't see the point anymore... If I can't understand it or prove everything exists, how can I not be afraid of it?

Please don't reply with "Get a life" or anything. I do have a life, have a job, a bf, loving family... Trust me if I COULD just get a life then I would. Honestly, if someone came to me and said I'll cure your DP/OCD/anxiety but I'll have to cut off your arm, I'd say OK!


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## Depersonal Eyes (Oct 10, 2011)

Ugh, OCD coupled with DP is the absolute worst. It's a viscious cycle. I wrote about my experiences here

I hope my advice there helps. There is hope, I promise things can and will get better. Focus on your recovery, not your weird thoughts. The thoughts need to be able to come and go, don't try to prohibit them or dwell on them. Eventually they may disappear all together if you just let them be. It's hard and uncomfortable but worth it!

Hope you find peace!
Carolyn

BTW I used to frequently offer all of my limbs for a cure. We are desperate!


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## anxybilly (Jun 22, 2011)

I have thoughts that run in circles in my mind like that.

I have existential anxiety too. It is unsettling to say the least.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

I'd really suggest trying mindfulness, it can help you have thoughts without being atachted to them or letting them snow ball


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## Chase77 (Nov 23, 2011)

I have been married for over 2 years now. We don't have any children together, in fact he has no children. I have two teenagers from a previous marriage living at home. This is my third marriage and really thought I had found the one this time. I took my time and dated often for 5 years in between the last divorce. I meet this man and married hism just a few months later. I felt so in love and had never had anyone make me feel so beautiful or loved until the first time he hit me.

I do like being married and having someone to share life with and do not want to start over again. And for the most part I am happy except for when my husband gets in one of his moods. I don't know what brings on the mood changes. But when he does get angry and it's over just everyday life, he blames me for everything. He blames me because he got hateful with someone at work and cussed them out, because I stress him out. He has hit me a few times and has no remorse at all. Usually it consiats of him throwing things at me and cussing me. He puts me degrades me and embarrasses me someone how at least once daily. It's alomst like I am just acccepting this is a way of life. Is it? I have been married three times now and I know that no one is perfect, and I am thinking well at least this one is not cheating on me. He doesn't seem to have much intrest at in sex, we work opposite shifts though. He works the graveyard shift and I work dayshift and we don't have days off together. Most days I look forward to the time for him to leave to go to work.

I have tried to leave and asked him to leave and he says he loves me and I don't want to be alone and struggle again financially. But for some crazy reason I want this to work.


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