# Depersonalization and Starting a New Job



## KirstenG88 (Jan 9, 2015)

Hi Everyone,

I am new to this group and was hoping to get some help with a few things. I have been dealing with depersonalization, derealization since I was about 9 years old. I believe it started with a severe head injury and trauma at home dealing with alcoholic parents. I have had good years and bad years and the last few have seemed worse than others. I am turning 27 and believe my problems started back up when I moved in to an apartment with my girlfriends 4 years ago and thought pot was the best thing ever. Come to find out, it's not! (Um, Duh!) The terms DP/DR are actually all new to me. When I started having trouble as a child I was told it was just a basic anxiety disorder and was put on multiple medications. I found all this through research online and the first time I saw it I cried.. This is me! I'm not crazy! Just knowing what it is has helped tremendously, but I am going through some big life changes and it seems to be creeping back in. I am starting a new job next week as a Hotel Manager.. I already feel the pressure of not being able to live up to their expectations of me. What if I can't handle it? What if I don't feel real? What if I just lose my mind? What if I go crazy?? So, that is where I am at. I'm trying to stay mindful and positive but it can be hard. Anyone have similar experiences? And what did you do to overcome them? Thank you!


----------



## Meticulous (Jul 30, 2013)

Job as a hotel manager?! That's wicked awesome if you ask me. Instead of focusing on this "what if" disorder, pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have just accomplished. For many people with DP/DR, it is difficult to even get a part time job at some retail store, so you're doing very well. You will NEVER just lose your mind or go crazy, believe me!

I felt the same way you do when I first started my first serious job, working on the oil rigs for a union, dealing with heavy machinery. I had all of these what ifs running through my mind, tormenting me. A few weeks passed and I realized hey, this isn't so bad. I was making good money, I was socializing every day, I kept my mind focused on my job instead of laying in bed worrying about the past/future. This is a very positive step you are taking in life, embrace it and let that positivity flourish.


----------



## KirstenG88 (Jan 9, 2015)

Thank you! Whenever I'm having my what if thoughts I try to get up, move around and actually be where I am. Be in the moment.. scratch the dogs, enjoy the view from my window, be grateful for what I do have.... harder said than done sometimes but it helps.Thanks for all the positive reassurance. Makes me feel much better!


----------



## Guest (Jan 15, 2015)

You'll do just great, if you ever need any reassurance come back, ,we'll be happy to help!

PS Danny, why are YOU saying Wicked awesome, you're not from my area of the US. ITS OUR THING, GOSH.


----------



## KirstenG88 (Jan 9, 2015)

Thank you! Here in Vermont we think things are WICKED awesome too!


----------

