# My appointment at the Depersonalisation Research Unit!



## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

Hello to everyone, been a while since i posted last.  
Basically ive been on a mission for the last five and a half years to get an appointment at the Depersonalisation Research Unit at the Kings College in London and at last it finally happened! After seeing numerous doctors and nhs psychiatrists over the course of 4 years to no avail, i made my self an appointment to see a private psychiatrist at the North London priory hospital. This was 18 months ago now and went quite well. The outcome of this appointment was that they would refer me to the DPRU and prescribe a combination therapy of an ssri and lamotrigine as it was recommended by the DPRU. I posted about that med combination last year and to cut a long story short, it didn't really didn't do much. 
Over the next 18 months i gave up all hope of seeing anyone at the unit and decided to start private CBT therapy earlier this year and stop the ssri i was on and go med free whilst doing the therapy. The CBT does help a lot in the way of dealing with thoughts but doesn't really help the problem and along side this im being told by the psychologist that i don't have dp disorder but ocd that causes anxiety and dp symptoms, which i know is wrong. 
Anyways, about four weeks ago i got a nice surprise in the mail, a letter offering an appointment at the DPRU with Dr Mauricio Sierra-Siegert! Unbelievable, after 5 and a half years of dp hell and no real help, i was actually going to see one of have the top depersonalisation researchers in the world!
I attended the appointment earlier this week and it was brilliant, Dr Sierra-Siegert is a legend! I basically explained everything to do with my dp experience over about an hour and a half then he spent about half an hour talking to me all about his research and opinions on the condition. He has actually experienced dp himself years ago when in a car accident, it didn't turn into a disorder with him but he could actually relate to and understand dp far better than any other professional ive ever seen. Its hard for me to remember everything he said because my dp/dr was so intense during the appointment but basically one of the main points he explained that he's noticed with the condition was that there is a lack of emotional attachment. You might all say, yes we know that already but he doesn't just mean the emotional numbing we all feel, but something deeper. He said all human beings have an emotional attachment to everything, a pen, a chair, a tree, a person, basically everything that surrounds us. Not just the emotions we think of and complain we cant feel, like love, laughter, sadness, ect. But because our emotions are so numb due to our condition the emotional attachments we feel, towards every single thing we see but wouldn't normally notice, are numb too, making everything feel detached and unreal to how it felt before we had depersonalsation. I found this so interesting, and sorry if someone here has thought of this and mentioned it before, but i'd never thought of it like this and it seems to explain how and why we feel so detached. Another theory he mentioned is similar to something that ive thought before, but different. He explained that he thinks that depersonalisation is is a similar response to the fight or flight response (i actually thought thats what it was) but not quite the same. The difference being that in a situation where the fight or flight response is required, there is a choice to fight or run away. But when depersonalisation disorder occurs there doesn't see to be a choice. Like the first panic attack i had where the dp all started, there was nothing to fight or run from. The threat was there, the panic attack while very stoned with feelings that i was going to die, but i couldn't fight it or run away from it so the dp seemed to stick. He described it like a switch turned on in my brain, that turns off my emotional responses to everything, so my instincts can run on there own without my emotions getting in the way. But the perceived danger isn't something i can fight or run from, so the 'switch' is stuck on and the depersonalization remains after the initial panic attack has gone.
Sorry the post has turned out so long and thats only a small amount of what we talked about, but all i can remember right now!
Basically at the end of the appointment we talked about treatment and he recommended a 6 month course of clonazepam combined with citalopram. Clonazepam being something i have never been able to get prescribed because i live in the uk and have read a lot of positive things about, even though some posts are very negative, i have decided to try his combination therapy. He said the two drugs combined have had positive results, which is all i need to hear from such an expert. (Studying dp for 14 years!) If anyone has any comments on my story or opinions on the medication they would be greatly appreciated! love to all.. tbbisnx


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

that sounds great. i went to the doctor today and she put me on seroxat as cipralex didnt work, i asked her about benzos and she said she doesnt perscribe them as theyre addictive yet it seems a combination is the only thing that has an effect, yet she was willing to dope me up on zyprexa no questions asked! I seriously hope your combination works matey best of luck


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## Guest (May 2, 2008)

Wicked stuff, make sure you keep us informed!   I gotta get me one of those appointments, going to see a psychiatrist soon anyway....hmmmmm....


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Wow that sounds really cool. Definitely keep us posted as to how the treatment goes. Thanks for posting.


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

Thanks for all your replies  
I should start my treatment sometime during the week after next, as he said it will take a couple of weeks for his treatment letter to reach my GP. I really don't think my GP's going to be to pleased to have to prescribe me clonazepam, as he moans enough about prescribing me diazepam occasionally for panic attacks! I will keep you all posted on how the treatment goes, fingers crossed!!


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## Guest (May 3, 2008)

the big bad i said no! said:


> I really don't think my GP's going to be to pleased to have to prescribe me clonazepam


Knock him the fook out pal! If he denials you... go else where, get another GP. Tis what I did... lol. I haven't read your first post because I'm already drained due to looking at the site's white background... lol.


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

No need, as he has to prescribe it!
I think we should be able to skin this site in custom colors, maybe a black background with luminous green font, that'l defo help the dp,lol!!! :lol:


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## Guest (May 4, 2008)

Excellent to hear... if you have any brain fog... hopefully Clonazepam will put an end to it for you as well mate.

I tend to reduce the brightness of my screen to feel more comfortable... =)


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

Well I had it with doctors and psychiaters, they don't want to take responsibility of giving more then a baby dose of clonazepam. They don't know how hell looks like and they think getting adictive to something is worse then this.. So, I decided to buy my own benzo's from a good online pharmacy called Palmira Drugstore. They are the cheapest, deliver fast and have the best comments on drugbuyers.com

I also bought a shitlot of other drugs, like paxil, seroquel, lamtical etc. but I won't be taking those afterall, I will leave that to the psychiaters..


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

Hi, i'd love some feedback please, off of people that use or have used clonazepam long term (6 months+). Ive been researching it and have found a lot of negative and quite dangerous sounding effects, mainly withdrawal. Has anyone here felt better from taking it then not been able to stop? Because my Dr at the DPRU says that i should be fine and will withdraw over a 3 month period after my 6 month treatment. He also said that he wouldn't prescribe it on its own and only as part of a combination with citalopram or similar ssri because its the combination that will help rid me off the dp. Does anyone have any experience of this combination or similar, has it helped and were you able to stop the clonazepam and felt better just being left on the ssri? 
Im just worrying a bit at the mo, as it seems like quite a dangerous drug if used long term and i want to get better, not just feel better temporarily!


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## Guest (May 6, 2008)

Withdrawal was a walk in the park for me... I came off it while at the peak of my Lamictal, although the brain fog came back so you TKO'ed my doc to put me back on it. I'm just as keen as my doc to come off it again to see whether I can stand off it soon.

Right i'm on 20mg of Fluoxetine to support the Lamictal (Me and my doc did research... well he did most of it, and he found that an SSRI helps Lamictal ease dr/dp. And it has helped my dr very much, i might be dr free... but i'm unsure).

120mg of Lamictal (Increased every two weeks? (I think it was) by 25mg... to avoid my skin peeling away from it's self... lol I don't want that!)

And .50 of Clonazepam.

Seems to be a winner. Could be that I need to ground myself in order to get over the dp.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Wow, it's been awhile, I forgot my password there for a minute. Congrats on the appt! Citalopram? I gotta get me some of that... I already get Klonopin. Although I'm not taking it at the moment, actually I'm not taking anything right now except an occasional Xanax when I'm really about to freak... It's been a blast, crying everyday...

But anyways congrats again with finally getting to the DP research unit, I wish I could go there.

What the hell happened to the board? I liked the way it looked before better, but then again I always hate change.


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## Guest (May 6, 2008)

Hey welcome back peacedove.


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

To Emulated Puppet}eer, how long have you been on the lamotrigine? Ive tried a combination of sertraline (ssri) and lamotrigine before (without the clonazepam) but was only taking it for about 3 months and didn't feel much effect. Do you think taking lamotrigine again as well as the clonazepam & citalopram would help more?


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## Guest (May 6, 2008)

Yeah ages... bout 8-10 mouths... tis da winner. Nah you need the clonazpam (well I do). Cloaznwpkjefw2fPAM ended my brain fog while Lamatuhijkfhiw3ufh ended my DR... I still have dP though.


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

Is it possible to drink alcohol whilst taking clonazepam?


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## Guest (May 9, 2008)

Yeah... three pints feels like ten pints though... lol. Makes getting drunk cheaper =P.


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

I'd better go easy then! What about missing my afternoon dose if i know im off out that night? I don't drink that regularly anyway but don't wana fook myself over when im getting better.


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

Turns out my psychiatrist at the DPRU has decided to put me on Sertraline (Zoloft/Lustral) instead of citalopram in combination with the clonazepam as i have had some relief using it in the past. It never rid me of the dp but did help with the anxiety and obsessiveness. So hopefully this combo with work! - 1mg clonazepam & 50mg sertraline daily. I started the treatment today and will keep you all posted in the Road to recovery section. love to all tbbisnx


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## Guest (May 14, 2008)

Congrats and all the best! Look forward to hearing how you get along!


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## the big bad i said no! (Oct 14, 2006)

I'm going to try and keep you all posted on how my treatment goes here - http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=15381


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## power (Apr 20, 2008)

Hello. Wow that is the best desription of DP I have ever heard. 
Yo may have seen me plastered all over this site because I too have been diganosed with a cure but I am doing it homeopathy which is natural medicine and the two remedies that have been found to bring back this altered mind state is Hydrogen followed by Helium.

If your not familiar in homeopathy these remedies come from what is called the element remedies.

As we too are made up of elements if a piece is missing like in a jicksaw puzzle we will not be complete.
So no matter how this has come about whether through drug addiction or trauma the bottom line is we suffer a major altered mind state that is not in alignment with our soul.

Not sure if all this makes sense but the hydrogen and helium remedies represent the beginning and the end of the periodic table (chemistry) This makes much sense to put these two remedies together to complete us as a living being.

I am offering my hot mail address for anyone who wishes to discuss this further.

I also offer any lecturer, counsellor, doctor to connect with me to discuss this solution.

I have had DP for 42 years and one hell existence of a life so you can imagine how wonderful I am feeling to be coming out of this.

Thanks for sharing

Love and light

Dawn


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## power (Apr 20, 2008)

Oops sorry must be having a DP moment I forgot to add my hotmail address

[email protected]

Dawn


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Thanks.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Dawn do you inhale the elements or how do you take them?


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