# Starting Life Over



## Guest (Sep 2, 2011)

Hi all.
My problems, although I now see go back alot further, really started in my late teens and because of the stress of being a carer in my twenties never died down. So I have been debilitated most of my life. My circumstances changed tho, about two years ago, and I had the space, maybe for the first time, to focus on recovering.

Since then, most of my symptoms have cleared. My mind has quietened down, my nervous system is calmer, I have better insight into myself and I would say Im mostly recovered, but now Im faced with whats left and it's something I'm struggling with.

They talk about the eerie quiet before the storm, but what about the quiet after? 
I guess it's like slowly waking up from a long nightmare or a coma. Your sences return and you look around to find the world has changed. All the old faces have gone, the neighbourhoods changed, the phone stopped ringing long ago, and you have stood still.
The war might be won, but as you watch the mist rolling across the empty battle-field it seems a hollow victory. What were you fighting for? (Sorry, I'm getting abit poetical here!)

So now Im in this limbo. I don't really know what to do next. My life is empty. How do you start rebuilding your life from scratch? I don't know. I feel like the final hurdle to full recovery is just living again, but I don't know where to start.

I've not seen a thread on this subject before so I dont know if anyone has talked about this - being at the cross-roads, and the crossroads is where you get the blues.









So I'de really appreciate any tips, advice or suggestions anyone might have for me. You don't have to be recovered and it doesn't have to be big or clever - it could be a little thing, it doesnt matter. 
But throw this dog a bone as I'm all out of ideas.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm made the most significant steps in recovery in the past 4 months or so and I have the feeling that you describe, like I am waking up. It's odd but the worst part of my dp seems to have recessed into a dark cloud and all of my experiences with it. I mean, I don't have a lot of clear memory of the last 2 years of my life since I've had dp. It's like I just woke up and am looking around and go "What the heck happened?". I mean, even things that happened and I lived through them with the dp seem to surprise me. It's like I wasn't present for it and I am only now learning about them and accepting them. Maybe the difference is just that I've stepped back into the realm of reality enough to deal with them on the level that the rest of the world does. It's an interesting feeling. It's like you suddenly have a lot of stuff to sort through and adjust to.

I also know the feeling of starting over. Right before I got dp I was facing an entirely new life. I had left my husband and was about to start college to get a degree in nursing. I was going to be a single parent and start this entirely new life and then bam, dp hit, and I've been in limbo ever since. So now that I am at this point, I'm having to make decisions about what to do with my life, where to go from here. But I don't regard it the way that you seem to. The ability to make these decisions and choose any future that I want is exciting to me. A little scary, yes but also very exciting. In the middle of dp I felt that I would never have these opportunities. I felt that the game had completely changed and that I would never be able to do many of the things that I am now able being so far in recovery though not yet completely recovered.

I think right now needs to be a time of celebration and dreaming. Celebrate that you've nearly made it through. Celebrate that you are able to build any kind of life that you want. Sit down and dream about what you want for your life and go from there.


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## lil P nut (May 7, 2011)

Things that you should focus on since you are human is your needs. Health, Financial goals and relationships.

Right down things that you want and focus on those things. Yes there might be emotional challenges on the way to achieving these but remember what your after and value that over your emotions. Just go for it. Make small steps to reaching your goals. Make goals for your health, and also relationships as well. Then achieve them.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

Such a fascinating topic. I realise that all of us with DP have this sense that once it is gone then suddenly we will be joyous and happy. However, my sense is that the recovery is subtle and that you aren't suddenly thrilled to be thrown back into reality. In fact, the DP takes a lot away from you and you must return to a highly compromised existence. With that being said, I think if you are feeling recovered you should make that hard push to get momentum in your life. I can imagine there still being an incredible amount of lingering pain, but if you feel capable as a person you can start to rebuild your life. The process continues. Good luck!


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## Guest (Sep 3, 2011)

Thankyou all for your kind words and suggestions. I'll take something from each of your posts.

You know, I read somewhere that sometimes one of the final steps of recovery can be a kind of grieving process - for the past, the wasted years and lost opportunies. And maybe that's something Im going through and have to allow for.

I'll think about what you've all said and I what I need to do. Or should that be, what I "want" to do


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