# But what is a good book for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? Is there a good book to learn how to recover / cure of DP/DR?



## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hi everyone,

I have a question.

Is there a good book how to learn how you can recover / cure of DP/DR?

Has somebody some tips?

Can you give me the title of a good book?

Thanks a lot!

Or can I better read this forum, hi ;-) ?

Greetings!


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

I've boiled it down to answering one question: what do I need to do to see myself as a full-fledged person?

If you can answer that question, and do this very thing, repeatedly, DP will gradually go away.


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hi Haumea,

Thank you for your respons.

But will it be so simply as that?

I live 9 years with DP/DR and nothing helps me to cure...

How long do you have DP/DR and what helps you to cure?

Thanks a lot!

Greetings!


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> But will it be so simply as that?
> 
> I live 9 years with DP/DR and nothing helps me to cure...


Yeah, it's as simple as that if you do that thing I mentioned above, but many people with DP are afraid to or believe they can't.

They think if they get rid of DP they'll be able to do it, but it's in reverse: *if* they do it, they'll get rid of DP.

That's why a lot of people have DP for years - their fear stops them from curing themselves.


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hi Haumea,



> Yeah, it's as simple as that if you do that thing I mentioned above, but many people with DP are afraid to or believe they can't.


Yes, it is, but sometimes I am a little bit unsure of myself, if I can cure myself... Sometimes it is so difficult...



> They think if they get rid of DP they'll be able to do it, but it's in reverse: *if* they do it, they'll get rid of DP.


Thanks for your explanation.



> That's why a lot of people have DP for years - their fear stops them from curing themselves.


Oké, I know what you mean.

Anyway, my psychologist says: you have a anxiety disorder, but I don't know what kind of anxiety.... ppfftt...diificult....


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> Yes, it is, but sometimes I am a little bit unsure of myself, if I can cure myself... Sometimes it is so difficult...


I assure you that you can.



> Anyway, my psychologist says: you have a anxiety disorder, but I don't know what kind of anxiety.... ppfftt...diificult..


What matters is the root of anxiety in perceived inadequacy. If you can answer the questions "why do I feel inadequate?" and "what would it take for me to feel adequate?", then you can do those things until you get rid of DP. You already know the answer, you just have to be honest with yourself. The answer may frighten you, but it's an irrational fear: as you as you start doing those scary things, you'll see improvement.


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

> I assure you that you can.


Thank you, that's very kind of you ;-) .



> What matters is the root of anxiety in perceived inadequacy. If you can answer the questions "why do I feel inadequate?" and "what would it take for me to feel adequate?", then you can do those things until you get rid of DP. You already know the answer, you just have to be honest with yourself. The answer may frighten you, but it's an irrational fear: as you as you start doing those scary things, you'll see improvement.


Wow, you say it nicely! It is a nice text to learn from! A nive reflexion ;-) .

And that is what works for you? How long do you have DP/DR and what helps you to cure?

Greetings!


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## philandrjack (Feb 20, 2013)

little star said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I have a question.
> 
> ...


Hi, I see you are from the Netherlands so maybe there is a small chance you speak german?

Anyways if you do this is a great book, published in 2012 by a German Psychiatrist specialized in Depersonalisation disorder. You can find it on amazon

http://www.amazon.de/Depersonalisation-Derealisation-Entfremdung-%C3%BCberwinden-Hilfe/dp/3170221701/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373581666&sr=8-1&keywords=matthias+michal


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## branl (May 21, 2010)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Little-Workbook-Michael-Sinclair/dp/185458670X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1373592704&sr=8-2&keywords=cbt

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Change-Your-Thinking-CBT-Overcome/dp/0091906954/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Yes, I am coming from the Netherlands ;-) .

I speak a little bit German ;-) .

Thanks for the links !

My psychologist has a book: Overcoming depersonalization and feelings of onreality...

He will treat me with this book....

Greetings!


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## wise (Mar 29, 2012)

Haumea said:


> I assure you that you can.
> 
> What matters is the root of anxiety in perceived inadequacy. If you can answer the questions "why do I feel inadequate?" and "what would it take for me to feel adequate?", then you can do those things until you get rid of DP. You already know the answer, you just have to be honest with yourself. The answer may frighten you, but it's an irrational fear: as you as you start doing those scary things, you'll see improvement.


You have to either choose to totally accept yourself as you are or do what it is that you feel will make you feel 'acceptable' or adequate as you put it. This really makes sense because
when you don't address your needs in life, you can't possibly feel 'adequate' so the key s addressing your needs. It all boils down to you need to live life like it's meant to be lived.


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> This really makes sense because
> when you don't address your needs in life, you can't possibly feel 'adequate' so the key s addressing your needs.


Yeah, the key word there being *you*.

If you look to others to carry you, e.g., you may be getting your needs met, but you don't feel whole, it only adds to your sense of inadequacy. For some types that's a problem.


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## Guest (Jul 28, 2013)

Some good recommentdations here.

What have helped me the most are several books and an application of simple Buddhist thought which include focusing on the PRESENT, self affirmation, controlling emotions (including fear, etc), finding balance in life, finding a purpose and passion -- even if that is simply gardining, and yoga and meditation -- whatever version works for you (I can't close my eyes and I listen to music else I get more DP):

There are a lot of tools out there. Small practices everyday help a lot.

*Overcoming Depersonalization Disorder: A Mindfulness and Acceptance Guide to Conquering Feelings of Numbness and Unreality [Paperback]*

http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Depersonalization-Feelings-Unreality-Behavioral/dp/1845295544/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375027244&sr=1-1&keywords=overcoming+depersonalization+and+feelings+of+unreality

*Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time [Paperback]*

http://www.amazon.com/Just-One-Thing-Developing-Practice/dp/1608820319/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375027297&sr=1-1&keywords=rick+hanson+just+one+thing

There is also a very old book, highly recommended by folks here over the years: *Hope and Help For Your Nerves* by Claire Weekes

*Hope and Help For Your Nerves*

http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Help-Your-Nerves-Signet/dp/0451167228/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375028835&sr=1-1&keywords=claire+weekes+hope+and+help+for+your+nerves

*Peace Every Step: Mindfulness Everyday*

Thich Nhat Hanh

http://www.amazon.com/Peace-Every-Step-Mindfulness-Everyday/dp/0553351397/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375028876&sr=1-1&keywords=thich+nhat+hanh

Other Thich Nhat Hahn books -- *The Miracle of Mindfulness, and No Death, No Fear*

All of these are brief, easy to read books. Simple approaches. And you can never "fail" at not applying things "perfectly" -- a problem I always have. MORE work, LOL.

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I have found a lot of help through Dialectica Behavioral Therapy (which is CBT with a foundation in Buddhist Thought -- but no fancy stuff -- no studying of Buddhism, but applyng skills that help you with negative thinking and help you find a Mindful approach to things -- living in the present.

These techniques were first applied to those with Borderiine Personality Disorder patients at the U. of Washington in 1990, but have been used for all individuals -- at the University Hospital where I get therapy -- the residents/therapists, etc. are required to attend training groups. It is helpful for any one really -- but it takes work. The theories are based on the writings of Thich Naht Hhan (I never spell that correctly!), Zen Buddhist.

*One of his best books is "The Miracle of Mindfulness" -- a core issue -- learning to live in the present, and appreciate the positives in your life, self affirmations, etc. which reduce anxiety, increase concepts of self-worth, etc.*

I was fortunate enought to take a four month group program, each month we worked on:

1. Core mindfulness skills.
2. Interpersonal effectiveness skills.
3. Emotion modulation skills.
4. Distress tolerance skills.

Having the skills, one may be prevented from using them in particular situations either because of environmental factors or because of emotional or cognitive problems getting in the way. To deal with these difficulties the following techniques may be applied in the course of therapy:
1. Contingency management
2. Cognitive therapy
3. Exposure based therapies
4. Pharmacotherapy - this was only used if needed depending on the individuals. One requirement was to have a therapist trained him/or herselfin this mode of treatment.

It is very logical. It requires work. The workbooks above help. "Just One Thing" is great, as you can go anywhere in the book (don't Kindle it as you want to flip around in it -- my Kindle is old and I like workbooks in the flesh). You can choose a chapter dealing with a particular issue and the book provides you with techniques to apply.

Keeping a journal of goals and progress is important as well

*The key as others have mentioned is developing a core confidence, self esteem, and an attitude about living in the present which all reduce anxiety.*


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## wise (Mar 29, 2012)

Haumea said:


> Yeah, the key word there being *you*.
> 
> If you look to others to carry you, e.g., you may be getting your needs met, but you don't feel whole, it only adds to your sense of inadequacy. For some types that's a problem.


Yes it definitely feeds into the cycle of shame that keeps the dp going when you don't know how to meet your own needs because they were never met before and you were never taught how.


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## wise (Mar 29, 2012)

Haumea said:


> I assure you that you can.
> 
> What matters is the root of anxiety in perceived inadequacy. If you can answer the questions "why do I feel inadequate?" and "what would it take for me to feel adequate?", then you can do those things until you get rid of DP. You already know the answer, you just have to be honest with yourself. The answer may frighten you, but it's an irrational fear: as you as you start doing those scary things, you'll see improvement.


I think alot of people feel inadequate because others rub their inadequacies in their face or have done so in the past and then they start to believe it.


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