# Depersonalization upon MORE depersonalization



## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Yes ladies and gentlemen....it is possible to get depersonalization upon more depersonalization. (Sorry, I know this is not helpful or inspiring to read).

As some of you may have read in my previous threads...I was playing around with my Lamictal a lot recently. Taking 175 mg for 2 nights, skipping 5 days, etc etc

The last time I took 175 mg of Lamictal was Saturday night. Sunday morning I woke up having severe mood swings, angry, rageful, anxious, etc. Then I started to feel like a part of my brain was missing. Weird and bizarre sensation.

I called my psychiatrist on Tuesday and he recommended that I start taking 50 mg each night, so I wouldn't have withdrawal symptoms.

Well...a little too late, doc. I guess b/c my brain had somewhat adjusted itself to 175 mg...going to 50 mg only was a HUGE change, and now I feel I am having depersonalization symptoms again upon the depersonalization I had from before. I know this sounds confusing. I read that Lamictal withdrawal symptoms can include a feeling of detachment, unreality....basically dp/dr symptoms. I am having a lot of anxiety too lately, and as much as I don't want to, I have started taking Ativan like once every other day.

Honestly you guys...I don't even know what to say. Last night I had a complete meltdown. I was crying for about an hour and felt like I was losing my mind. Having serious suicidal ideation like running out into traffic or doing something impulsive. My head feels weird. My memory is shot. I see my doctor in 2 weeks. This is agony.


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## ihavetomakethis (Dec 23, 2010)

Ok, just have to say this, i dont understand you ppl who take medications who has effects like exact as dp/dr ?? Seriously its like, eat more hamburgers if your fat, ofc you will never lose wieghts, i dont know your situation man maybe you HAVE to take the med, but i think its impossible to find recovery if your gonna let medecins be your other leg all the time.. just my opinion..

Hope you feel better man, try relax, get your mind of all the thoughts..


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

Yeah i agree with ^

Like yes i do still have dp for 8 months and going. But it hasnt go really that much worse, it only gets worse when i get anxious about certain fears (i fear of developing shitzophrenia).

I've read SO many websites that say, we dont agree with medication for dp because it can make it worse, cause symptoms to linger on, or create new discomfortable symptoms.

You already have dp why do you want more?

Medication mask's dp, it doesnt cure it. Thats what i think. Im not a doctor so i could be wrong.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

ihavetomakethis said:


> Ok, just have to say this, i dont understand you ppl who take medications who has effects like exact as dp/dr ?? Seriously its like, eat more hamburgers if your fat, ofc you will never lose wieghts, i dont know your situation man maybe you HAVE to take the med, but i think its impossible to find recovery if your gonna let medecins be your other leg all the time.. just my opinion..
> 
> Hope you feel better man, try relax, get your mind of all the thoughts..


The effects of Lamictal are primarily of mood-stabilization and is used for patients suffering from epilepsy and also Bipolar Disorder. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and was given 350 mg of Lamictal back in April of 2009 during a brief hospitalization to control my mood swings. Lamictal doesn't *CAUSE* DP/DR to my understanding, but apparently it's *WITHDRAWAL* symptoms can mimic it. Obviously, I never had to withdraw from Lamictal in the time that I was on it and was not aware that it's withdrawal symptoms could exacerbate my already existing DP/DR. I have to take medication for my other mental disorders. I'm not on any for DP/DR.

Thanks, I hope I feel better too...but I doubt it. This is going to be hell for the next however many days, weeks, months...


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Jayd said:


> Yeah i agree with ^
> 
> Like yes i do still have dp for 8 months and going. But it hasnt go really that much worse, it only gets worse when i get anxious about certain fears (i fear of developing shitzophrenia).
> 
> ...


*trying best to control anger*....

Dear, I'm not on any medication for DP/DR. I never was in the last year that I've had it. I've been taking Lamictal for the past 2 years due to another mental disorder that I have called Borderline Personality Disorder. I was never taking my other medications for DP/DR. What I am saying is...I was taking the medication, no problem, and then when my doctor told me to start taking 50 mg to prevent withdrawals, that's when my DP/DR turned into more DP/DR. I'm sorry...I feel like I can't even articulate what I'm trying to describe.

Bottom line is...and im sorry if I didn't clarify this in my original post....I was never on medication for DP/DR primarily, but for my other disorders.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

j4mtj said:


> I honestly wouldn't wait 2 weeks to see your doctor. Look what happened to Rudy with withdrawal but he got help and recovered. Please don't wait and deteriorate. I've gone through benzo and SSRI withdrawal as well as akisthesia from antipsychotics and it is truly physically and mentally agonizing. You need to get something to mitigate it and ease the withdrawal. Just go to Emergency and tell them what is happening so they can give you something.


If it gets really bad like it did last night, I probably will have to. Problem is...my parents DON'T take me seriously and my dad just says, ''Oh, hun, just take it easy."

Also, with the hospital, I don't know how seriously they would take me if I went there for withdrawal problems. I feel like they would only take my case seriously if I was a danger to myself (suicidal) or a danger to others (homicidal).

Thank you for the concern.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

"Typical lamictal withdrawal symptoms include feeling agitated, anxious, *possibly depersonalized*, and otherwise manic. People with a history of seizure may be at risk for seizure."

Source: 
http://www.alternativetomedscenter.com/lamictal-withdrawal/

Don't know how legit this site is.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

j4mtj said:


> Tough with the parents, all right. Well, maybe if you have a family doctor if you don't feel comfortable with the hospital. But they see everything, probably including withdrawal. When I was withdrawing from Effexor, I was transitioning to Prozac at the same time, under medical supervision. In spite of that it was too fast and I phoned my GP frantic with symptoms. Luckily the gatekeepers at reception told me to come in right away, they could tell it was serious by my voice I guess. And I had just seen my doctor 2 days before, reporting everything was going fine. Then wham - surprised us both.


I don't even know anymore. My head is falling apart. My psychiatrist is the kind of person who will not spend longer than 2-3 min on the phone with you, and he does not emotionally invest himself in a patient's care. At least he doesn't with mine.

I don't want to get hospitalized and go inpatient.

I will just have to call my psychiatrist's secretary and ask to make an appt very soon. I also feel like everytime I call him, that I am bothering him somehow and apologize profusely. Ugh.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

...


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## Monochrome (Mar 11, 2011)

I'm aware this was a couple of weeks ago and hope things have improved for you since.. I'm on Lamictal for BPD as well but it is making my mood swings worse - I want to come off it but am scared about feeling more DP/DR as right now I'm already the worst I've been


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