# Harris Harrington is wrong about being highly sensitive



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Hi guys I haven't posted in here for a while but I just thought I'd post this specific article I stumbled across on Harris harringtons website:

http://depersonalizationrecovery.com/articles/depersonalization-cure-tip-5-personality/

Even though he makes some excellent points and great articles, I truly believe that it is wrong to say that most people who acquire dp are introverts & highly sensitive...in my opinion if u have grown up being emotionally abused, terrorised and rejected from the very moment u were born into this world then it's obvious that u never actually got the chance to grow up emotionally and will have had a "not feeling safe feeling" when approaching anything. "Introverts in my opinion are actually insecurely attached" I also can remember in my childhood being very confident, emotionally expressive and would actually cause fights with people, I was champion girl in athletics, loved team sports, captain of my netball team. He goes on about some crap saying that people who get dp are not extroverted sensing types....i really just believe that many people with dp have shut parts of themselves down because of being terrorised and not because they were "highly sensitive" or "introverted"

What do u guys think ?


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## WILBUR (Aug 9, 2014)

He said most not all. I'd have to agree with him as well, a lot of the people I've talked to on here all have similar personality types, a lot of which include being oversensitive \ not being able to handle criticism etc.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Not being able to handle criticism and "sensitivity" comes from growing up with a rejecting environment and hostile families simple as that. Also from not deriving your worth from inside.

Harris has no right to put that on his website because then it gives people the idea that is who they are when it may not be correct at all


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

....


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I'm not saying sensitivity is a negative trait....in fact I see it as a strength it just means u have the capacity to love deeply and sense things before anyone else can 

Perhaps I did not word my post correctly.....the thing is...what is sensitivity and what makes someone "highly sensitive" ? Harris says that many with dp are introverts...to me one can become an introvert due to circumstances and a dangerous and scary upbringing. Other people call people sensitive because they can't take criticism and that does not mean they are highly sensitive either ...it means they cud just fear rejection

I don't think Harris should be pointing out most dp ppl are this personality trait or type because it's simply not true. Everyone is different and unique and even those personality tests can be a crock of shit.


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

Fearless said:


> Missjess, being sensitive has NOTHING, NADA, ZERO to do with having confidence or not. Being sensitive has NOTHING, NADA, ZERO to do with having been abused or not. *Being sensitive also has ZERO to do with emotional maturity.*
> 
> Sensitivity is an INNATE (and very great, IMO) personality trait, which I would never ever trade for anything. Innate means NOT LEARNED.
> 
> ...


Why are your responses so contentious? I understand that you're very adamant about your methods or at least you appear to be, but you just seem to make insults about the person vs providing a coherent argument/inquiries for why she might be wrong/right.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I have a book called "the highly sensitive person" ...I read it a couple of years ago

Anyways it wasent just that I was picking at...I'm picking at Harris for calling everyone who may be sensitive an introvert or prone to be stuck in there heads....the only reason most of us got stuck in our heads coz we didn't feel safe

I just don't agree with some labels he is dishing out for dpers
P.s I love being emotionally gifted and I see it as a high strength


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

Fearless said:


> I writed 90+ blog posts for that purpose. Sorry for not posting everything everywhere to satisfy lazy people like you.


I think in order to classify me as lazy you'd first have to arrive to the conclusion that I may be interested in working for something, which I am not. But again; another instance of you resorting to insults.

I don't get it. You are obviously intelligent but you choose to come off as an asshole.

Whatever floats your boat.


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

Fearless said:


> if you are not interested in finding the back info for my statements, why are you commenting on it?
> 
> Look, I'm sorry. I've had a rough child hood and my defense mechanisms are HUGE. I know I come across like a child but I do mean well.


Apology accepted. Just don't do it again.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Hmmm yeah I guess I could re read my book again.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

We have all had a rough childhood...we Wudnt be here if we didn't. Supporting each other is much more beneficial then critisizing.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I looked up hsp traits online and to be honest some I have and some I don't there must be different levels of high sensitivity. To me sensitivity just means u have a huge heart and feel deeply and ur nervous system can get frazzled more easily then others but again there are MANY things I did in my childhood that they say hsp ppl wud hate like team sports...crowded places loud noises that is certainly not me I love loud music and I love team sports etc


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> Hahaha. You are typical. It's like I read myself writing a year ago. LOL. I was exactly the same. Defended the fck out of myself, whether there was a real offense or not.
> 
> Not all HSPs are the same, but we ARE the same in CERTAIN things. HSP is just ONE, only ONE aspect of your personality. ONE.
> 
> ...


Yeah ok I did interpret some of the things to be weak and ur probly right I did filter out negative shit....thanks to my emotional abuse !!


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> KEY HSP traits are:
> 
> - sensing a lot more things than average person. noticing a lot more details (THIS is where "sensitive" comes from, "SENS"ing a lot more things, and not from being hurt easily)
> - feeling things, situations, stories, movies, music, etc.. more deeply than the average person
> ...


Yup I tick ALL those boxes ha ha....and I always sense things 
I actually like these traits tho

I think Harris got raised by neglecting parents not our type of father


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

My mother is a narcisstic codependent....if I move back in with her I find myself acting helpless and feeling like there is nothing I can do to improve my situation. She has insidious comments and remarks...her behaviour is totally unpredictable and irratic so I find myself avoiding where she is

She puts blame on others coz she can't find something...she will make my bed, turn my light off, clean my dishes etc...she may not be as aggressive and violent as my dad but ALOT of my dp came from her also she is a crazy maker

My poor brother he still lives with her...he shoots up meth and is always stoned...he works with my osycho dad all fkn day and then he comes back to life with my mum ...he doesn't have dp but he is a complete asshole and a pig and has become just like my dad. He was a sensetive boy also


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## Sa-lB (Jul 16, 2013)

I agree missjess. I would call myself sensitive but I would also say that I am more extroverted than introverted. Which I think causes some problems for me.

I think people need to remember that being highly sensitive doesn't necessarily mean that you are shy or introverted.


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2014)

I didn't read every post because it seemed to be a personal discussion or so.

But I am not introverted, nor overly sensitive. My parents are awesome and I had a great childhood and I would love to travel back in time to be there again. It was so awesome I could cry everytime I think about it. Drug induced DP/DR has nothing to do with a special type of personality, I think. But what do I know? I just assume it.


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

Fearless said:


> There are highly introverted extroverts. That's a fact.


Always thought this was me to be honest. When Im in a setting Im comfortable in, or around people I trust, Im very extroverted, but most of the time I avoid alot of social interactions.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

This is more to do with attachment styles ...

Ur not extroverted in social settings with strangers because u don't trust them...that's attachment...if u did trust them u cud be urself regardless and have boundaries


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## Anonymity (Jul 8, 2013)

People can be HSP while DP'd? Cus most the time I don't feel any type of empathy since I got DP. But before DP, I am pretty sure I was a HSP.


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## Guest (Sep 30, 2014)

missjess said:


> My mother is a narcisstic codependent....if I move back in with her I find myself acting helpless and feeling like there is nothing I can do to improve my situation. She has insidious comments and remarks...her behaviour is totally unpredictable and irratic so I find myself avoiding where she is
> 
> She puts blame on others coz she can't find something...she will make my bed, turn my light off, clean my dishes etc...she may not be as aggressive and violent as my dad but ALOT of my dp came from her also she is a crazy maker
> 
> My poor brother he still lives with her...he shoots up meth and is always stoned...he works with my osycho dad all fkn day and then he comes back to life with my mum ...he doesn't have dp but he is a complete asshole and a pig and has become just like my dad. He was a sensetive boy also


Working on boundary's is important for people who come from abusive backgrounds Jess. It really sounds like your parents are totally overstepping the boundaries here. Creating boundaries gives us a feeling of inherent safety as well. It's a nice feeling to establish boundaries and make people aware that they exist. It's empowering.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Zed...my family is highly enmeshed and my mother treats everyone like they can't do shit for themselves
My mum doesn't give a shit about ur boundaries trust me...there is a reason why boundaries never worked for abusive parents ..not while ur living with them anyways, it is easy to establish boundaries when ur not living there. The times I've stayed with my mum I told her many times to respect my boundaries..she often still treats me the same way like a child.

Obviously I don't let her get away with a lot of things but ultimately I still feel like a child living around her and I've just accepted that's the way it's gonna be if I stupidly decide to live with her


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> I know for sure that it is not the case. If you study cognitive distortions, and understand how they develop, you will understand that "normal" bad parents can't abd won't "create" this. Only psychos. I respect your different opinion, just saying mine.
> 
> Yes thanks to the abuse, and your highly advanced defenses against the abuse. Which are making you suffering now, because they are not needed anymore. But we still use it long after the abuse. That is DP.


Fearless I don't actually have dp anymore. I still how have abuse issues and big issues to work out tho ...I am waiting to be healed of hppd before I can start so after my second trip to see john of god then I start


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

On a side note, missjess and Fearless debates are the freaking best


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Hahahaha...i don't think there's a debate happening...yet lol


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

Fearless said:


> Missjess, being sensitive has NOTHING, NADA, ZERO to do with having confidence or not. Being sensitive has NOTHING, NADA, ZERO to do with having been abused or not. *Being sensitive also has ZERO to do with emotional maturity.*
> 
> Sensitivity is an INNATE (and very great, IMO) personality trait, which I would never ever trade for anything. Innate means NOT LEARNED.
> 
> ...


This post means alot more to me now after a few months of researching your blog!


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