# Freaked out



## Bettti11 (Sep 7, 2010)

Hello guys,

I had DP/DR some years ago, but it passed away. It came back about 1,5 years ago, but I think i pretty good handled it until now.

4 weeks ago I had terrible migraines and dizziness about a week, so I've gone to ER. They checked my brain with CT and they found a small tumor/cyst on my pituitary gland. They send me to MR, where also seen the cyst, that is benign. In the hospital suggested to me to go a neurosurgeon, who was not so nice with me... He said he can't sure what is it, because I hadn't got contrast on MR. He said there was a small hemorrhage inside the adenoma/cyst, and this cause the headaches and dizziness.

Next week i will speak a neurologist and later an endocrinologist, because need to scan my hormones. These kind of things in pitiutary gland can cause hormonal issues.

And now I am on emotional roller coaster. I searched so many things about this cyst, seriously hours and hours.

I have headaches, dizziness and today I was super dizzy, lightheaded, can't to think. Like i have no brain, no emotions, nothing. Hard to concentrate, I feel totally lost and scared, or losing my mind, my personality.

I really hope it goes away and not the cyst causes these symptoms, just my anxiety.

Anyone can relate this?

Is it possible to altered your mind this state after a diagnosis?

Thank you for replies. ❣


----------



## Bettti11 (Sep 7, 2010)

Thank you so much for the reply!

The neurosurgeon said nothing surgical intervention need. After that my mom's friend showed the MR to her neurologust and she said nothing to worry about. Need some hormone test later, but no case for freaking out.

Just these DP/DR symptoms worrying me. I was so happy, joyful before the headaches and diagnosis and I want myself back. ????


----------



## Bettti11 (Sep 7, 2010)

I went to a neurologist (who is a headache specialist) and she said, the stress caused the dizziness and the headaches and that lead the cyst to hemorrhage and gave me more headaches. She also said according to MR scan my brain is totally healthy and this cyst was there from my birth. She made some tests and i am healthy. I just need to check up half year later on MR scan, but said nothing to worry about.

But I am not well mentally. I feel depersonalised, no thoughts, no emotions, like a brain damaged person. I can't concentrate and feel hopeless.  I had DP before, about 9 years ago. I recovered and then relapse a little time about 5 years ago. I can't remember how bad was it, so actually I'm pretty scared.

I want to be normal, I'm on my honeymoon with my wonderful husband and I can't enjoy, because this fucked up feeling. I was so happy before that!

So if someone have some positive, calming vibes, I would apprecciate that.


----------



## Bettti11 (Sep 7, 2010)

I had a pretty bad year, but I thought I handle the traumas so well. But it seems to be just hit back, when everything's getting finally better.


----------



## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

Bettti11 said:


> I had a pretty bad year, but I thought I handle the traumas so well. But it seems to be just hit back, when everything's getting finally better.


Hi Betti, it happened to me that I had a bad year, and just when things were resolving themselves I had a bad delayed reaction, so that can happen. You're finally in the clear and think you should be feeling better, but it all catches up with you. It's like you've been holding on so tight trying to keep it together, you finally feel you can let go and whoosh. So try to be kind and sympathetic to yourself, accept that it has been very stressful and that you need some time to rest and recover now. Don't put any more pressure on yourself to have a good time and feel fine because you feel you should, just try to relax and unwind as best you can.


----------



## Bettti11 (Sep 7, 2010)

Hi Phantasm, I really appreciate your words. Thank you! It's sucks to feel thisvway, walking like a zombie, but I try my best and not to worry about it and hope it will goes away again.


----------

