# BREAK THROUGH!!!



## Guest (Jan 22, 2010)

So for the past about 2 weeks, my brain has been trying to reconnect with reality. It started when I took 2 doses (on two different days) of a choline/inositol combo suppliment. Within an hour I felt more connected. Like I was actually experiencing reality. Honestly, I had an incredibly hard time handling the mental shift. At one point I posted and considered going to the hospital. Also because I have issues with self control, I was trying to hang on to dp because feeling anything different than what I had become used to scared me. Long story short, my brain just kept right on pushing it's way out. I had a really mellow weekend this past week and got up on Sunday morning just feeling really different than I had been. Really dizzy and like my perceptions were doing weird things. I pushed through it. I went into the kitchen to makes breakfast and when my breakfast was done I sat down in a chair by the window and prayed. When I opened my eyes reality was back. I just sat very still looking at the chair, staring at how the grain looked in reality. I closed my eyes and realized that I was reconnected to my old self. The person that I was before dp and had not felt for 5 months was back. I took a drink of my orange juice and it tasted so much stronger, better. After about 10 minutes I just broke down in tears. I was SO incredibly relieved because I thought I would NEVER grasp reality again. I had been really close before and thought that I had reconnected but this true connection I experienced showed me that I hadn't connected until that point. I did go back into dp and spent the next day or two fighting the shift again. I was experiencing massive anxiety and just trying to pretend that all of the perception changes weren't happening. Well, yesterday morning I made a break through again. I woke up just feeling different again and because of my anxiety, I took a LOT of klonopin to go about my day, by evening, when the klonopin started wearing off, I had the sensation that everything from my neck down was in reality. It felt like my head was still in dp but my body, for the first time in 5 months, felt like it was real and resting in reality. The dr was completely gone. I knew where I was. I felt relaxed. I could actually even feel the temperature of the room air on my skin. I went to sleep feeling normal and woke up this morning clear and like I used to before dp. I'm still dealing with a lot of anxiety and not at full connection again but all of today the dr has been gone again. I went on a ride to the store with my sister and I live in a valley in Oregon that is surrounded by mountains. I looked over and actually said "HOLY CRAP! THAT MOUNTAIN IS 3-D!". Everything was so incredibly clear and vibrant and beautiful. When I got out of the car, I could feel the warmth in the air, smell food cooking, and truly felt like I was a part of the world everyone else is in. I stood outside the car with my eyes closed and just felt life. Tonight I have been watching Conan O'Brien and just laughing and feeling so amazing and happy. Really truly happy for the first time in 5 months. Again, because of my incredibly clear connection on Sunday morning, I know that I am not fully connected yet but I do actually feel like I am living in the same reality everyone else does. I was hesitant to post this because I didn't want to jinx myself. I just had to share with all of you because storied filled with hope are so few and far between on these boards. I know people question if you ever truly get better and for me, I think that I might actually recover from this! WOO HOO!!!


----------



## ripeorrotten (Jan 14, 2010)

that is so great. i'm very happy for you


----------



## Jessesaur (Jul 25, 2009)

Awesome! Keep it up!


----------



## swedishfish (Oct 4, 2009)

This is wonderful. Congrats!! It is posts like this that inspire. I'm considering giving the inositol/choline a go, so i'm hoping to be posting a similar story.


----------

