# My story - How I fully recovered



## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

Hey guys,
This is my first, and probably only post to this forum. I suffered from depersonalization/derealisation for 3 months, and I have now fully recovered from this debilitating condition - should not even be called a condition, a temporary stage is a more suitable name. Before I tell my story, I first want to clear up one thing...This DOES go away, for anybody, whether you have suffered for 5 weeks or 5 years, it does go away for everybody.

I feel it is my duty to post my story, as it is shocking how there is a lack of hope on the internet for sufferers, there is so many forums where people have had this for years, and for someone suffering with DP, it is not very reassuring to read that.

It all started just 2 days before my German exam, and now I realise that it was all the stress of exams that helped cause it, although I had no idea what was going on at the time...I always thought of myself as a high achiever, I was obsessed about getting the top grades in all of my exams, so I could get into Oxford/Cambridge university, and I was the type of person that would worry about things - like getting the very top marks that most people don't worry about.
I woke up on a Saturday morning 2 days before my most worried exam, feeling very strange. I felt in a constant dazed state, like everything was passively happening around me, things looked very strange to, almost like my vision was like a static tv (visual snow) and things looked as if they were lacking in something, but I could not pinpoint what it was. Time felt very strange to, something that I did 5 minutes ago felt as if it could of happened 5 years ago, and I could not imagine things in the future happening, I felt disconnected.

I had no clue what this was, and I forced myself to revise for my exams (which was very hard to do with DP). I was convinced that I had some sort of incurable mental disease, and I frantically searched the internet for symptoms of schizophrenia, brain tumours, MS etc, (which I was convinced I had), until I found DP/DR, and my symptoms were identical.

I continued searching the internet, and I was convinced I would be in this state forever, and my life was over, I regularly watched videos on youtube of people with DP, who would be crying, and to someone who does not know much about DP, it was heartbreaking and I lost hope.
I did however read a few stories of people who have recovered, and they said to recover, you just have to forget about the DP, and I thought to myself that there could be some truth in that, as I had noticed that whenever I was completely distracted, like when I was out with friends or whatever, the symptoms eased off in severity. 
I thought to myself that I would cure this horrible state, by distracting myself, so I did. I managed to distract myself for enough time, and the DP eased off.
I instantly started to think to myself "Hey, I feel so much better!" and they I was judging the levels of DP I was experiencing, and that started the whole anxiety cycle again, and it came back quickly.
Think of DP/DR as the minds natural defence to stress, this temporary barrier is created to shield the mind from too much anxiety/stress, however if the person notices "hey, I feel strange?!" then this fuels more anxiety, which fuels more DP, and it will last as long as the person self assesses themselves. 
Thinking positively or negatively about DP will fuel it to stay, you have to completely distract yourself, in a way where the thoughts of depersonalization don't cross your mind for weeks. You need to just get on with your life, don't stay inside feeling sorry for yourself, don't stop doing the things you enjoy, and definitely do not regularly ask yourself "how do I feel today?" - because I can bet my bottom dollar that the people who have suffered this for years do exactly that every day.
I started to live my life again, as I did before the DP, and the DP just faded into the background and disappeared over time of about 1 month of not thinking about it.

If you can get the DP down to a level were it is easy to ignore the symptoms, then getting rid of it completely is not far away from that point. There are people that are much worse off, so why regularly feel sorry for yourself? You only live once, so don't worry it away. 
The best piece of advice I can give you to get rid of the DP is get off these forums right now, live your life right now. Dwelling on the DP with other sufferers may give you temporary comfort, but I will keep you thinking and worrying about DP, which will prevent it from going away.


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## Soul Seeker (Jun 6, 2011)

Great story and great advice. I agree with everything you said. Best of luck to you in the future.

SS


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## lauras (May 13, 2012)

I am he said:


> The best piece of advice I can give you to get rid of the DP is get off these forums right now, live your life right now. Dwelling on the DP with other sufferers may give you temporary comfort, but I will keep you thinking and worrying about DP, which will prevent it from going away.


Yeah, I'm leaving this forum, I've had this for 2 months now and I'm pretty sure coming on here nearly every day isn't helping. Glad you've recovered, thank you for giving us hope!


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## Fabricio (Dec 22, 2010)

it helps in some cases, but isn´t the solution for everyone.


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

Fabricio said:


> it helps in some cases, but isn´t the solution for everyone.


Countless people have recovered by forgetting about it, there is no need to post things that destroy hope, and increase anxiety.

DP merely a symptom of a anxiety problem...Eliminate the anxiety, and the DP can not exist.


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

Another thing that I forgot to mention in my story was a website called "dpmanual"

I'd seriously recommend searching it on google, and read the guy's story, it is quite similar to mine, but much more detailed, and It gave me hope when I was suffering.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

Excellent post! One thing that I've found that works well for me is sleep deprivation. I'm not sure if it would work for everyone, but when I don't sleep I'm often too tired to worry about my DP. I also am too busy trying to keep myself awake. That's how I snapped out of my last DP episode, though I've regrettably had a relapse because I once again let my stress levels get too high.

To those still suffering: Even if you don't want to do something, try to go out with friends. Play some video games. Spend time online NOT reading about DP/DR. The key is that you want to keep yourself fully distracted. Whenever you analyze yourself to see if you're reconnecting to reality, it starts the process all over again. If you start to think, "Hey, does this look real?", stop yourself immediately and just keep on doing whatever you were doing. You won't recover by waiting until you can look at something and pass the reality test. It's just something that happens -- you'll have less and less moments when you remember that you're supposed to be dissociated until you're back in reality.


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

Thidwick said:


> Excellent post! One thing that I've found that works well for me is sleep deprivation. I'm not sure if it would work for everyone, but when I don't sleep I'm often too tired to worry about my DP. I also am too busy trying to keep myself awake. That's how I snapped out of my last DP episode, though I've regrettably had a relapse because I once again let my stress levels get too high.
> 
> To those still suffering: Even if you don't want to do something, try to go out with friends. Play some video games. Spend time online NOT reading about DP/DR. The key is that you want to keep yourself fully distracted. Whenever you analyze yourself to see if you're reconnecting to reality, it starts the process all over again. If you start to think, "Hey, does this look real?", stop yourself immediately and just keep on doing whatever you were doing. You won't recover by waiting until you can look at something and pass the reality test. It's just something that happens -- you'll have less and less moments when you remember that you're supposed to be dissociated until you're back in reality.


I agree entirely with that, when I recovered, I only realised I had recovered a few days after all DP had gone away...Because DP had not even crossed my mind for about 2 weeks because I was so pre occupied with a work project, I did not realise I was better because I had not "self assessed" myself for along time, The feeling was great, it was like a point of realisation..."Hey, I feel totally fine" and I have felt totally fine for weeks, no return of DP


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

I also think most sufferers do recover themselves by forgetting about it, but obviously 99% of the totally cured people don't return to websites like this as they don't want to even think about DP.


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## Optimist (May 29, 2012)

Thanks for the post ... and good for you man.

I see hope, I know I am getting out of this state. I've almost recovered many times before, until I get to the old habbit of " how am I feeling today?" which lets DP start over again.

one question: when recovered, you don't think of DP anymore ... is it because you forgot about it or that it doesn't scare you anymore? I mean does it scare you to think about it again?


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

Optimist said:


> Thanks for the post ... and good for you man.
> 
> I see hope, I know I am getting out of this state. I've almost recovered many times before, until I get to the old habbit of " how am I feeling today?" which lets DP start over again.
> 
> one question: when recovered, you don't think of DP anymore ... is it because you forgot about it or that it doesn't scare you anymore? I mean does it scare you to think about it again?


I think about DP much less often than I used to...Maybe like once a week the thought of DP crosses my mind for 5 seconds, and I just think "that was a stupid time in my life, I am fine now no need to think" and I just think about something else


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