# You Are NOT Going "Crazy"/Schizoprhenic



## MasterMind.

There is a common symptom-phenomena anxiety disorder sufferers will experience, called "depersonalization and de-realization". These occur commonly in patients with anxiety disorder and sometimes also with clinical depression patients, who suffer with co-existing anxiety and are very concerning to them. What I wish to do in this article is to explain what these symptoms are and to offer some comfort to those who may suffer Anxiety Disorder by relating the fact that both of these are experienced commonly with these emotional disorders and the vast majority of the time, they are neither harmful nor dangerous.

First let's look at "depersonalization". This symptom phenomena commonly found in anxiety disorder sufferers, but especially those with panic attacks, is a symptom-induced experience, where a patient feels they are "unreal", like they no longer exist as a person. They may even feel they have become invisible and that others around them are real but they are not. Some patients describe it as feeling like being a robot and no longer like a human being. Patients have described episodes for example, of looking at their own hand, in front of their face and wondering if it is really there. Patients will also describe experiences of looking into a mirror and actually feeling as if they do not recognize them selves and they feel as if they are having some type of identity crisis. Obviously, these are very scary and very unpleasant experiences for anxiety patients and ones they certainly do not want to continue or reoccur.

These episodes of depersonalization are reported by some anxiety disorder sufferers, to happen immediately preceding the onset of a panic attack or with other severe anxiety symptoms, while others experience depersonalization during an attack of severe anxiety or panic symptoms. Once the depersonalization symptom is experienced by some anxiety suffers, they report that it will occur more frequently and will be triggered more easily, even with less severe anxiety symptoms.

"De-realization", is similar but in this case, that which seems to become unreal, is the person's surroundings. With de-realization, an anxiety sufferer will have episodes of experiencing feelings that their surroundings have become unreal. They will feel as if even reality itself is no longer something they can fully grasp, during those moments. They may even question the existence of things and wonder if life itself is a dream of some type. Some descriptions I have heard of this experience are; "like being inside a bubble", or "like trying to see everything, through a curtain" and "like everything is covered with a thick fog".

Many anxiety sufferers, will experience both depersonalization and de-realization, at the same time or these may alternate, so that they experience each at different times. During episodes of either, they will also commonly have mind fog, meaning they feel hazy and unable to concentrate. These features only add to the unpleasantness of these experiences.

What causes these strange feelings of depersonalization and de-realization that are so concerning to anxiety sufferers? Well we know the "fight or flight response" itself is a protection mechanism, created in us, to help us flee or flight danger and to help us perform more powerfully, with important tasks at hand. These unreality type symptoms, where things seem to become unreal, is very likely part of that same protection mechanism. It may be that our minds will cause ourselves and our surroundings, to temporarily fade from our minds, in order for us to concentrate more intensely, on locating the actual danger that threatens us. It is similar to the reason an anxiety patient's mind will race, because it is trying to scan for dangers that have threatened them and set off the fight or flight response. We also know that all senses are heightened during strong anxiety responses and this too likely adds to these feelings of unrealities.

What is important for anxiety sufferers to know and to understand is the fact that these unreality symptoms, do not indicate the onset of insanity or of one losing their mind. They are very common occurrences with anxiety conditions and will not cause damage to a person's mind or sanity. This fear of going crazy is a very concerning one to those who experience severe anxiety and also those with clinical depression and these two often co-exist but are irrational thoughts and will never take place!

True psychosis, the true term for one actually losing touch with reality and having actual delusions and hallucinations, is the term for actual mental disorders that may or may not have significant emotional aspects to them. Anxiety and common clinical depression are both in the neurosis category, meaning they are stress related and not caused by an underlying mental disorder. Persons with really severe forms of depression, such as Bipolar Disorder, may have psychotic episodes but your more common type depression, called Clinical or Major Depression, is not in the psychosis category. Estimates by some Mental Health Organizations state that psychosis affects an estimated 1% of the U.S. population, whereas, the more common anxiety and depression conditions, affect a much, much higher percent of the population.

Patients with severe anxiety conditions need to learn not to fear these symptoms because adding more fear will intensify and extend the duration of these episodes. This is of course more easily said than done but with time and effort, those with Anxiety Disorders can learn to have less and less fear of these unreality symptoms, to where these symptoms are what fade into the background rather than the realities of self and surroundings.

If you are an anxiety and/or depression sufferer and are concerned by these unreality type symptoms, I challenge you to do a search on the internet, using the search term "Anxiety De-realization and Depersonalization" and you will find many other articles stating how common these unreality symptoms are and the fact that they are not dangerous. In fact do another search, using the term; "Anxiety Depersonalization and De-realization, neither harmful nor dangerous" and you will find even more articles that will help you. These unreality symptoms are common and not dangerous.


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## Guest

But do you think someone stressing themselves out 24/7 going on ten months straight with unrelenting dp/dr can do permanent damage to themselves?
My dp has led to severe depression , suicidal thoughts, and unremitting anxiety for which I refuse to go on meds for. I think my ocd contributed to my condition. The hardest part for me is accepting this is just anxiety because my ocd tells me I'm actually dead.
People tell me but your here and I see you, but to me it's not just as simple as that. How do I know where not all dead and everything is just an illusion. How about the people who die so fast they didn't know what hit them and are now floating around in limbo still thinking their alive? Sounds crazy I know.


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## MasterMind.

NOT AT ALL. From PERSONAL experience, I've been in DP/DR hell for 5+ months & am NOW getting a grip on myself. The problem with a lot of people is they expect immediate results, myself included! Over the coarse of these past 5 months. I realized that I wasn't giving it time. These past few days i've noticed a HUGE improvment, even NOW i'm looking at things & seeing them ALMOST so clear, i'm RIGHT THERE. The problem is people don't give it time. You just have to realize that this is NOT permanent & you CAN overcome it, it's a struggle but you can do it!

Distraction (for me and a lot of others) is a HUGE factor, if not the hugest! The 1st day I just did anything to get my mind off of it, I cleaned my house, went outside, & EVERYTIME my mind started to drift back to my DP, I would sing, or do ANYTHING to get my mind off of it. Even when I wasn't feeling different right away, I could feel SLIGHT changes, my perception on what DP was started to life. Even today i'm still going through it, but it's like it's lifted 80%! I'm more calm, & am in the stage where i'm accepting it & just doing what I can to move foward.

I believed I had brain damage when I got off antidepressants, but EVERYBODY told me that it wasn't brain damage, doctors, thereapist, they just said it was in my mind. It's true!

Start now! Stand up & say NO MORE! go do something productive! Get your mind off the DP, but don't give in when you don't see immediate results, but just accept it & know that it'll get better, cuz it will! I PROMISE.


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## MasterMind.

If you want more of an imtimate converstation, feel free to send me a message or we can converse on AIM! I know the hell us Dp/Dr's go through, after seeing/feeling hope, I know it's possible for ALL of us to get through it!

Any of you feel free to hit me up! I'm there for y'all! :mrgreen:


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## cyberafrica

Hi Mastermind

Thanks for your very rational explanation of DP/DR.

This is what all DP/DR sufferers need is reassurance. What I seem to see is the "time factor", on how long it takes to recover from DP/DR, and this is a huge variable.Some people take months, others take years.

I reckon a big question is also, what about drug induced DP/DR? I can only relate to my own experience, where I was experiencing a lot of stress with prior panic attacks, but had pot which "triggered" the DP & DR. I am still trying to convince myself that I have not gone mad, as I have had it for 18 months now, where I have reached a "plateau", where there does not seem to be any change. One would want to measure some sort of progress, but unfortunately I have not, in fact some days it feels like I am going backwards.

So would you say a way forward with DP/DR would be to let it run its own course, and not put any time frame or expectation on it, when one would feel progress? By having this attitude, one would be less inclined to get frustrated or push up one's anxiety levels. Or another way of explaining it, would be to let the "fire burn out" in its own time.

Would be great to hear your view on the above.


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## Guest

Dear Mastermind,

Did you write that yourself, or did you get it from a summary? I think that should be posted at the top of the Main Forum, in the Intro Yourselves section, and who knows where else. The subject heading should be, *You Are Not Going "Crazy"/Schizoprhenic*
*Note I hate the word "crazy" as it is a derogatory lay term to me, but it means something to all of us.

If you could get the source, I'm going to PM this to Revelation. I know the Links section as well.

Thank you. It's a great summary and is my theory behind DP/DR. I think bottom line, in most cases it is a secondary symptom to anxiety. When it is chronic it is more or less debilitating, but I still see it as secondary. I also see that in my case it was a learned behavior, wherein I didn't know what was happening to me, got no help, etc.

This reinforces this so much.

Thank you!
What is the primary source?

I will PM you as well.
Dreamer 8)


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## Guest

Hi Dreamer. Same here. I had no idea what this strange feeling was and what was happening to me therefore my mind thought the worse and shut itself down. I had no idea people actually experienced this. I also received no help and family and friends said it was all in my head and I was simply sufering from depression, but I knew there was more to it. My dp I bellieve came from a nervous breakdown triggered by anxiety and stress. The depression came afterwards and no matter what positive things other people say to me to try to overcome dp, my ocd thoughts keep me locked in this condition. Horrible. Any tratments or medications work for you.


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## MasterMind.

http://hubpages.com/hub/anxiety-deperso ... ealisation

This is where I got the article! =) It truly is inspiring & soothing to read it. I agree, this should be pinned! A lot of DP/Dr could be prevented or at least rid of quicker if people realized just exactly what it was!

_So would you say a way forward with DP/DR would be to let it run its own course, and not put any time frame or expectation on it, when one would feel progress? By having this attitude, one would be less inclined to get frustrated or push up one's anxiety levels. Or another way of explaining it, would be to let the "fire burn out" in its own time._

From my personal experience, my DP/DR only reached an all time high because I fed into it. I was SURE that my brain had been damaged from smoking weed / and because of taking antidepressants. I know for a fact that if I never had gotten the thought of "brain damage" in my head, I would've never went down this hellish road.

I wouldn't say you have to sit around & let it run it's course, however it DOES take time to overcome DP/DR. The main thing for me was getting fed up with it & taking control of a horrible situation, & am I glad I did! One thing that I KNOW helped is DISTRACTION from it. I basically went through steps, I sat down & told myself that this is DP, it's a chemical imbalance & that it WILL go away, IF I let it. The next step was getting off my ass & distracting myself, whatever it takes just DISTRACT yourself until you get to a point where you start to see a difference, it's hard believe me but it's a surefire way to overcome it! I can honestly say just 4 days into this, I already feel 90% better! Sure I still have moments where I feel it, ONLY because I let my mind drift back to it, but I simply just do anything to get my mind back off of it & pretty soon i'm feeling almost totally normal! So yes time is a factor but it's also self determination to take control of your life & not fear the fear of DP. I deal with depression & anxiety as well, but like anything, you take one step at a time.

I added you on AIM but didn't see you online, so when I do I'll IM you & talk to you more about it, I am living proof that you can overcome DP, just like any challenge in life, with willpower & determination, you will win.


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## Guest

Excellent. I have asked the site admin if this could be pinned as noted. I also book marked the site. I may link it from mine. What is frustrating is, for those of us who've had this for so long, it sort of "gets in a groove." I could have used this board about 40 years ago, and I ain't lying.

This should give newbies a lot of hope.


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## letsgetbetter

You're absolutely right about distraction. Ignorance in the case of DP is actually a positive thing. By ignoring the weirdness and continuing your life as normal as is absolutely possible seems to me the only way out. Someone on here wrote 'the only way out is through' and that's the truth, reality is still there waiting for you to reconnect with it.

The brain damage issue is interesting for me as I entered a state of DP/DR after a concussion and following acute anxiety and panic attacks. I was convinced I had brain damage and that I was gonna be stuck like that forever but now a few months on I'm starting to make real progress. If you truly believe you have brain damage you absolve yourself of the responsibility to recover and you probably won't. By accepting that dp is a psychological state of mind and that your thoughts and actions can change it, you put yourself back in control where you need to be to start living again.


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## susansings

I watched "Numb" last night, having no idea of what it was about...But hey it starred Matthew Perry so it couldn't be that bad. WOW...it was like an episode of "this is your life" 30 years ago, almost to this very day. I went down the street of my little hometown neighborhood with some friends and smoked a joint. I felt completely in control because I had smoked pot twice before and actually felt nothing but hungry.
15 minutes later, I was exactly like Matt P. in the movie...It was the most horrible thing...and part of me knew right then that nothing would ever be the same. That I had unlocked a door that would remain open. So when my friends kept saying.."you just smoked too much pot too fast" it was of little comfort..I knew it wasn't just a question of when it would wear off.
After several hours, I managed to stumble home and put on a good act for my parents, although I desperatly wanted to scream..."HELP...something is really wrong with me". I was 13 years old and couldn't tell my parents I was down the road smoking a joint. After many weeks of reliving the experience I broke down and told my mother what happened and to please get me to a doctor. (so embarrassing) I went, and he assured me that I would be allright and that nothing was wrong with me.
It gave me some comfort I guess because I managed to get through the rest of middle school and then high school without any other magor incidents. The dp feeling was almost always there.but I was popular and had a lot to distract me. I knew something horrible was inside of me but if I kept busy, I could keep it at bay.
I even managed to go away to performing arts camps in the summers which followed.
Then came college. It was there that "the thing inside" came out. The dp turned into a full blown panic disorder. I couldn't go to class, socialize, sleep, I tried to explain what was happening, but everyone thought I was insane. Eventually, I dropped out and went home. 
I went from doctor to doctor and still no help. I would cry myself to sleep...thinking that I was just 18 and my life was just starting, yet it was over. 
I don't know if it was my mom or dad that got me a book..."Hope and Help for your nerves" by Claire Weeks...It was from Australia and addressed every single symptom that I had. It became my bible and I recovered. Went back to school..(locally) got a good job, started socializing again...even dating. I was once again a "normal teen"
A year or so later...it all hit again and this time I didn't trust what was written in my book...It was even worse because I felt by this time, I should've known better. Finally, I found a support group..and took classes on how to desensitize yourself and others. I also started taking klonipin and with the therapy it made the difference.

Today I am 43 years old. I am married, I have a small theatre company...I will never be rich but I love what I do...I have traveled all over the world. I still take Klonipin and I also take effexor..but I do have a life...a good one.
The anxiety, panic and dp...do show up more than I would like but I try to treat them like a big bully trying to push me around...ya know if bullies..Once you lose your fear of them they have no interest in you.
I hope I didn't bore you all by telling my story but it all came back to me so fast watching that movie last night...I needed to get it out somewhere. I'm glad I found this site.
and my message to those of you suffering is...there is such a thing as coming out on the other side. This condition may always be a part of you..just as an alcoholic is an alcoholic even if he doesn't take a drink for 50 years...it is always with him..but there can be a great life for him and for you...and thank God, for me too!


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## blank

Thank you for sharing that story! I can really relate to it as i often cry myself to sleep thinking that my life should just be starting at 18 not feel like its over! Im so happy for you, you seem to have really got your life back and you are an inspiration! My head still doesn't believe i can get better - but im really trying to tell myself that i can...and your story is helping me build a case against my head lol!


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## susansings

I know you will find your way back too. That book..."Hope and Help for your nerves"...if you read the chapter on "feelings of Unreality" you will probably relate to it more than anything you have ever read. Just reading it will make you feel so much better and hopeful!


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## Roderer

Well, well, well...

After ten months of surfing the web in search for answers, I no longer know what to believe.

You read this post and its content it's so simple and clear: both depersonalization and derealization are comorbid symptoms of anxiety, depression and panic disorders.

But, on the other hand, you also have people as Daphne Simeon or Marlene Steinberg who claim that d/p and d/r are diseases _per se_, independent from any other psychopathologic context.

Which of the bells should we listen to?

Honestly, I'm sick and tired of all the bullsh*t that goes around the net, particulary of the sensacionalist and alarmist crap that does nothing but strenghten our feelings of vulnerability, dispear, fear, desperation and lack of self-confidence.

Must of us, immediatly after our first episodes of depersonalization and/or derealization, instead of visiting a *health professional*, went right straight to ask doctor Google. And what did we found? Thousands and thousands of un-reliable information, not to mention Linden's list of symptoms, which can be found almost everywhere... A copy-pasted widespreaded meme, ladies and gentlemen!

And by the way, I dare to say (and please don't take offense) that both d/p and d/r, in most of cases is a meme, a self-suggestion induced condition.

Dizziness, numbness, confusion, desorientation exist as symptoms, are real hence we feel them. But what makes them much to aggresive is all that crap we read a hundred times a day.

Can anyone think of a more alarmistic and sensationalistic title for a book than "The Stranger in the Mirror - Dissociation: the Hidden Epidemic", or "Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self"?

Wake up! There is no abnegation nor altruistic intentions as far as Simeon and Steinberg (and even Linden!) and whoever you want are concerned, but the only ambition of making money and gain recognition and achieve reputation. Medicine is one of the most juicy business that could ever exist -keep that in mind.

I also bumped into this website... I don't remember its adress, but it was about something like "permanent hallucigenic syndrome"... More fear, more dubious quality information...

My derealization was triggered by smoking a joint. Or should I say: smoking pot resulted in a series of panic attacks, which took place in the space of a month or so. And _then_ was when the feelings of dettatchment and strangeness shown up.

THC is a detonator of anxiety. And anxiety leads to derealization. No more, no less.

Does the Occam's razor ring any bell to any of you? For those who get my drift, it's very important to understand that both explanation and solution of what we are through is more simple than the terrific tales of "strangers in the mirror", "silent epidemics" and "chronic hallucigenic syndromes".

Weed, mushrooms, booze, etc., exist since the world is world. And so do intoxications with any of these stuff. Are you going to tell me that in the whole history of medicine and/or psychiatry there was no record of not even a single one of cases like ours? Please...

If those substances I numbered were harmulf enough to disolve your ego, your self, your soul (call it whatever you like), don't you think there would be a stronger concientization about it? Guns can *kill* you. Though there are no forums of people discussing if guns and bullets are a "silent epidemic" that _might probably cause deadly injuries_.

Some say that psychiatry dismisses d/p and d/r disorders and blah blah blah... What actually happens is that health professionals give those symptoms the relevance they deserve: mere signs of anxiety, depression, panic disorders, schizophrenia... (but what it comes to the later, believe me that no one of us should be posting here in case we suffered that disease).

Claiming a place for derealization and depersonalization as diseases _per se_ it's the same to clame that same place for fever or mocus. "Chronic sneeze". Can you imagine that? "All of a sudden I started sneezing, even though I didn't have flu in years". Enough to give birth to a generation of so-called researchers of the "chronic sneeze and mocus disorder", sowing more panic than hopes. (And hope is often not as useful as ansiolitics).

Come on! And what about the people who doesn't log in here anymore? My forum experience says that interest in something decreases or increases in relation with the need of a solution. A simple example: when people meet someone to f*ck, they immediatly quit posting in find-a-partner forums.

What I think, in my humble opinion, is that if d/r and d/r are mere symptoms of mild mental conditions (neurosis or OCD, for example, which we all suffer, ones with more intesivity than others), then we should stick to this explanation, for the good of our emotional health.

The other alternative is to feed the monster with magical thoughts, Simeons, and Steinbergs, and stuff like that.

It's pretty arrogant and ignorant to think we know more than doctors do.

I just needed to say that, 'cause it amazes me the abysmal difference that exists in regards to both derealization and depersonalization nature. Some say they are due to stress, anxiety, angst, etc.; others say that they are mental illnesses themselves; others, a sort of magic spell or diabolic course...

The complex the explanation is, the less reliable it gets.

Hope you are all doing ok.


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## Robsy

Roderer said:


> Come on! And what about the people who doesn't log in here anymore? My forum experience says that interest in something decreases or increases in relation with the need of a solution. A simple example: when people meet someone to f*ck, they immediatly quit posting in find-a-partner forums.


Your post was so awesome...until you said that. I really do like your post and agree with everything you say...but find a partner forum? I would not be where I am now without this forum and the friends I have made..i certainly did not come here to "find a partner" I came here to get some answers and peace of mind.

Anyway, It is a great post, I just hope I misunderstood what I quoted above.

Hope you are ok also.

Robyn


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## Roderer

Robsy said:


> Roderer said:
> 
> 
> 
> Come on! And what about the people who doesn't log in here anymore? My forum experience says that interest in something decreases or increases in relation with the need of a solution. A simple example: when people meet someone to f*ck, they immediatly quit posting in find-a-partner forums.
> 
> 
> 
> Your post was so awesome...until you said that. I really do like your post and agree with everything you say...but find a partner forum? I would not be where I am now without this forum and the friends I have made..i certainly did not come here to "find a partner" I came here to get some answers and peace of mind.
> 
> Anyway, It is a great post, I just hope I misunderstood what I quoted above.
> 
> Hope you are ok also.
> 
> Robyn
Click to expand...

Sorry, Robsy, though it's a certain thing that you've misundestood me.

I tried to make a comparision between this forum and all the others. So I'll try to do it again in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

For example, a forum aimed to multiple interests. I don't know how to say it. An ordinary forum, with different sections/topics: sports, politics, religion, videogames, love, chit-chat, etcetera.

There are people who register to those forums in search of sentimental advice or something like that. Once they get what they want/need, they just don't even log in anymore.

Maybe taking sex as example leaded to this confussion.

But it applies to any other field. I mean... If there's something wrong with your car, you'll register yourself at a forum aimed to fixing cars (?) and once you find a solution to your problem, you won't come back anymore. Do you get my point, now?

I took the example of a community where I'm a keen an regular (and almost legendary :lol: ) member. I'm talking about a forum that spans a wide-range of interests. It's something very common to see in the Love & Sexuality section, that those users who enter as singles, suddenly find a partner and you don't know what became of them anymore, 'cause they are just no longer interested.

As for this community, I'm 100% sure that those who didn't show up anymore no longer suffer neither d/r or d/p. And there are lots of them.

That's what I tried to say.

My apologies if you took it in another way. But bear in mind that what you thought that I meant, it's light years away from what I feel.

Hugs.


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## Robsy

Hey !

Its cool! I thought I would have misunderstood haha, really is an awesome post and perspective on things, I have to learn forgiveness,patience and to let go of fear, im on my way x


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## nytesprite

Thank you for this post. It has made me feel a bit better about things. I started suffering from DP/DR about five years ago. I literally woke up one morning and felt like I was trapped in a fog. I was at a loss to explain how it happened or why, just that the stress got to me, I guess. I was in college, but I was doing well. I had family and friends and a boyfriend and I was enjoying myself in school. My biggest worry was probably having enough money to eat, buy school supplies, and do laundry, but that was pretty much the typical college experience. Then one day it changed. Instantly. I was away visiting my mother when it happened, so as soon as I got home, I went to the doctor. They diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and suggested I see a therapist. It's been a rocky road from there. I've had a few drugs that worked, a few that didn't, and I've seen a number of therapists, some with success, others not. I wasn't able to find an answer as to why the world always seemed a million miles away from me until I read the same book another poster mentioned, "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes. I read her description of DP/DR and was elated that there was a name for what I was going through, that I wasn't the first person in history to have gone through this. I was amazed to learn that my brain was basically doing this as a defense mechanism. Unfortunately, I seem to be caught in an endless cycle. I'll start taking medication, go to a therapist, and feel 200% better, at which point I stop the therapy and the pills. I don't mind going to a therapist once a week, but I really don't want to be on medication forever. I'm scared of becoming dependant on it, especially because I may not always be able to afford medication due to job and insurance changes or the like. I'm afraid of not being able to function like a "normal" person.

The word "normal" keeps floating around in my head. I'm preoccupied with the idea of being "normal." It's a relative term, really. I suppose for my purposes, the word "normal" means being able to go to a job, go out with friends, to feel and think and not be afraid all the time. I don't really know if all this is within my power to control, if it's just a matter of trying to rein in my own thoughts. Part of what gets me is that I don't know why this happened. I read that the overwhelming majority of people who suffer DP/DR were abused as children or had some sort of trauma that causes them to set up this defense mechanism to escape the bad memories. The problem is, I don't think there's anything in my past that would cause that. I had a normal childhood, I wasn't abused, and I haven't been through anything that the average person hasn't gone through with flying colors. So why can't I? I feel like until I get to the root of the problem, this will just keep coming back. What scares me is if there's no real root, no cause that I can fix. I know it's just a movie, but an exchange from the movie _Girl, Interrupted_ comes to mind:

"That's what ther-ape-me's all about! You lie down, you confess your secrets, and you're saved!"
"But what if you don't have a secret?"
"Then you're a lifer like me."

I feel like I'm going through the motions. When something funny happens, I laugh, when something sad happens, I cry. But sometimes I don't feel like I'm _really_ feeling it. I feel like my logical self and my emotional self are two separate people. (Then, of course, I start to freak out that I have multiple personalities.) For example, something very minor will happen and I'll get upset. Logically, I'll tell myself that it's stupid, it's just a little thing and I shouldn't be going to pieces over it. But emotionally, I'm still upset. I have a hard time understanding how two different halves of my mind can disagree. I can feel perfectly fine one moment, then I'll start panicking the next. It might last a few hours, and I'll come up with a thought that reassures me, and it'll vanish. I can't understand how it can come and go so quickly. It's as though even feeling better too fast scares me! I've been paranoid that I have every mental/mood disorder in the book: schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, DID, you name it. There are few things I haven't accused myself of having, even if logically, I have no evidence that there's anything really wrong with me other than the fact that I worry too much.

I've been through this all before. I've had the exact same thoughts I'm having now. I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't know if this is the time it'll finally stick with me and not go away. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Is it possible that with therapy and medication, this sort of thing can be resolved permanently?


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## thegirlwonder13

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. I'm 18 and just starting college. This whole adventure started for me around June on my graduation day. All of this has been really heavy for me because I haven't been able to communicate or express to anyone just how awful this state of mind is. But seeing this and everyone here being so supportive has really helped me to feel more optimistic about recovering and being able to do what I aspire to do in life. So thank you. WE CAN DO IT! lol....


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## typaige

The problems that I've been facing lately is being so afraid of becoming schizophrenic that what I'm beginning to convince myself that I am hallucinating. For instance, anything that I see out of the corner of my eye, such as a reflection or an unexpected movement, I'm half-convinced that it's a hallucination and I finally have gone crazy. Is this normal? And does anyone have a way of coping with this? 
Thanks.


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## Ecorvi

It's normal, your mind is in state of hyper-attentiveness, you notice every movement of noise. You are not hallucinating, you are not going schizophrenice, it's "just" f*cking DP/DR.


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## nytesprite

I think fear of being/going "crazy" is a symptom of DP/DR itself. You're feeling that the world around you is no longer real, or that you're not real -- what could be more frightening than that? I've been convinced at one time or another that I had just about every mental disorder in the book. At the end of the day, it's always the same thing -- if you had a serious mental disorder, you'd probably be too out of touch with reality to know it. As I've been told many times, since your reality testing remains intact, you're not.

And yes, this is very common with DP/DR and the anxiety that goes along with it (or causes it, in cases such as mine). Your mind is playing a mean little game with you.


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## egodeath

I disagree. I think you are, in fact, going crazy/schizo. =]


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## SINYGirL

Thank you thank you thank you for the amazing article. I love you, you made me feel so much better!
G-d Bless<33333


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## Borisus

Consider some of our more mature members. Some have had DPD for 25+ years, they are sane and well. Still suffer from DPD, but the dpd did not lead to a downfall. Unless you actually have schizophrenia/psychosis inside of you, you won't get them from DPD, so don't worry about it =)


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