# Is this DP/DR or some other form of dissociation?



## FireBird (May 2, 2009)

I have been experiencing "weird" symptoms for the past few weeks. I have been reading this site for years (on and off). One of the symptoms has already been described in another thread, but its being drunk without the alcohol. I feel all floaty like and can barely walk in a straight line. Everything around me appears weird. I also have this "dead" feeling, like I don't actually exist. Also, it feels like my movements are controlled, but not by me. Another symptom that you've probably never heard of, is that when I'm reading or writing, it looks like a different language. I'm not dyslexic by the way, I actually started reading at the age of 3. I also have autism and something I don't agree with at all, schizoaffective disorder. I don't believe I am psychotic, but one time one of my "poison" pills caused me to get that way. My speech is also affected, (but this has nothing to do with "feeling unreal") the words come out all wrong. Sometimes things feel like a dream, that its not really happening. Things appear dark, and threatening...but this can be caused by depression. I also experience this "drowning" feeling, but there's no water. I'm new to this site, by the way. I am 26 years "young" but feel like I'm 90 due to the hot flashes and memory loss. Speaking of memory loss, there are times where I "lose" time.....sometimes for hours at a time. I don't recognize where I'm at half the time or how I got there. Luckily I don't drive and I live with my parents (mainly due to the autism). I don't remember my childhood well, but I do know I had a lot of trauma. So, what is going on with me????? And what do I do about it???


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

I don't want to worry you, but feeling like your movements are being controlled, being unable to control speech, and heavy perceptual distortions (written words looking like another language) are more typical of psychotic disorders. DP/DR-like symptoms are often present in disorders such as schizophrenia, although with schizophrenia there are much more alarming symptoms. You seem very lucid and aware, so I definitely would NOT think to label you psychotic. Schizoaffective might be an appropriate diagnosis; I wouldn't know. I am not a doctor.


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## FireBird (May 2, 2009)

Is it because I already wrote down my diagnosis? Did that give it away? I love Dr. Evil!! (any person that diagnosis me with a psychotic disorder has graduated from Evil Medical School!!!!) I love that school! I want to go there!!! Apparently its an online school as that a million people have diagnosed me with that from around the world. This includes my pdoc. I will hold the world ransom for $100 BILLION dollars (with the Dr. Evil laugh)! No, I'm not holding the world ransom....that's just what Dr. Evil said in the movies. I really want to have "Normal Syndrome" which you are "normal." My old age is really annoying. I'm older than everyone on this board put together! I already tell people stories of when I was their age. (and I'm talking to a 90 year old!)


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

Mmmm well that part seems a bit delusional.


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## Guest (May 25, 2009)

FireBird said:


> I also have this "dead" feeling, like I don't actually exist.


This is my WORST symptom of my chronic DP. I have posted about it several times asking if anyone knew what would cause it. This feeling is what scares me the most about DP. Its feels as though you are losing your own ego or self-awareness. Like you know you are in a room but you dont feel like you are there or anywhere for that matter. You just simply feel non-existent. This feeling is what causes my panic-attacks when they happen. Actually I just posted a new thread in the depersonalizatin discussion section called "Have you ever thought about this?" that is about that very feeling. And to me, my DP feels like im high on pot 24/7, not alcohol as alcohol makes you feel chill, I just feel like an energized zombie in a blank non-existent state.


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## hello (Aug 9, 2009)

i came here.sorry for saying this, but i love you firebird. i know that's ridiculous, but now i feel it's the truth. i feel i'm in a bad situation. i don't have autism. i wish i could do something positive. i used to have a sense of humour. sorry for typing this.


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## hello (Aug 9, 2009)

i'm sorry for typing that, firebird.


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