# Living with derealisation for a year and a half, trying to get diagnosed and come to terms with disability.



## Frocktopus (Aug 3, 2013)

Hello, I'm frocktopus, I'm 27, an artist and living with my partner, I've had derealisation for one and a half years now, for the first year it was pretty much constant, now it is about half the time, the main problems I am having with it are being undiagnosed, how unpredictable it is (I want to go to uni and I am so broody) and my doctor thinks I have another illness as well. My partner does help me out alot but he has anklyosing spondylitis so he's needed looking after too, I'd really like to talk to anyone else who has a partner, carer or close friend (the type close enough to be your go to person for anything) who is also disabled and how you cope with this, he's an absolute star and I love him very much but I'm sure you can imagine splitting housework, him being the only one able to work and, um, other more personal things kicking off my dr and his back, can all take their toll.
Also any advice on getting people to understand that "I can't do that" means just that, I am pushing myself but I have accepted the fact that, for now, I just cannot function properly until about ten in the morning (i help my mum out on a stall when i can and us booked one for 8 and gone the night before "come at 8 and just have rests" this is one example, sorry to moan.
Anyway, It started when I collapsed in a shop, I was diagnosed with labyrinthitis as I had vertigo but as the vertigo and tinnitus lessened I was still pretty much bed bound for half a year with what I now know is derealisation, with the odd bout of depersonalisation every so often if I had a panic attack. I had a doctor for the first year that to,d me it was all just panic attacks (the fact I collapsed regularly, had muscle ache all over, chronic fatigue and was constantly having infections of everything that can get infected, was also, bizarrely, attributed to panic attacks) until the day, after being given advice by yet another nurse when i came out of hospital for an infection, to get him to look into it properly, he turned round and said "find another doctor, I have no idea, I thought it would go away with time." I wished he'd been this honest in the first place as my new doctor has, since I started seeing him, constantly had me on one treatment or another, testing for something, treating it, then when that hasn't worked testing me for something else and now he is out of ideas is passing me onto a specialist. (FYI, get your iron and vitamin d levels checked, these didn't cure mine but have helped me a lot with not being as tired, which is a trigger for me.)
I'm in a que for a month or two to see a psychiatrist in Lincoln UK that not only knows about derealisation but can also look into my physical symptoms which I cannot wait for. I've had mental health people saying they can't diagnose me as I have symptoms that aren't dr and GPS saying they know nothing about the dr symptoms so she will hopefully be able to shed light onto what is going on.
Thanks very much for listening, feels so good to get all that off my chest to people who will get it, any advice or questions very very welcome, looking forwards to getting to know everyone. Xxx


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

I read something from another thread that Fearless said about physical symptoms having no relation to your mental condition. I think that's true. From my own personal experience, I dealt with DP/DR for about a year. Here's my story. Maybe it can help you.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/42014-hope-for-dp-sufferers/#entry299819


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## Frocktopus (Aug 3, 2013)

Thanks jshehaj, I had a look at your story and it did help, I do realise that I concentrate on my d.r sometimes, as much as I know this it's really helpful to think "if I don't think about this it will get better because someone else has tried that and it worked." Before I read your story it was a bit like an old wives tale that may or may not work as I've not met anyone else who has it until this week, plus in the past I ignore a separate health complaint and it got worse, maybe that's added to my checking in with how I'm doing d.reise too much. 
You mentioned something fearless said, would you be able to find it please? It'd be a big help if you can, no worries if not lovely.
Cheers again.
Xxx


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## Your_Lordship (Aug 7, 2013)

I wish you the best.


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