# I´m symptom free



## Guest (Feb 7, 2014)

I want to write a short recovery story.

Most of my story is already posted elsewhere, but I got DP about 12 years ago during a phase when I experimented with psychedelics. I´ve been a hash-smoker for a long time, so I´m not sure if it´s psychedelics or hashish that caused it.

I was outside an airport smoking a joint and suddenly felt my consciousness leaving my body and the physical world came *bam* into my face. I could hardly hang on to my body. I had consumed LSD a few days before. I stayed in this state for a few hours before I went on with my vacation. A few days later I started having visual problems. I had acquired HPPD. This was in early 2003, a few months later I found the HPPD forum and found out I had HPPD/DP/DR.

Well, how to deal with it? I made contact with the health system a few months later, telling them I was tired. It was hard to describe the symptoms and I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, but f**k them. What happened then I´m not going to say because it´s boring, but I was very misunderstood. I cannot tell much nice things about the health system.

I have tried a host of medications: anti-psychotics, SSRIs, anti-convulsants, sleeping pills and supplements. I can tell you: NONE OF IT WORKED except Zopiclone/Imovane that took the edge off my DP. I don´t take any medication nowadays.

My recovery has been very slow, like it could´nt notice anything from day to day but one day one symptom was gradually gone. It takes patience to live with DP.

Most of my symptoms were classic DP, like out-of-body, feeling 2D-world, and a host of already mentioned symptoms.

Sorry if this post is little detailed, and I have no advice for you except the usual. I tried to live normally but I did´nt work while DP´d. The most advice is already given on the forum.

All I´m saying that for me, it sort of just disappeared gradually and one day I could say "It´s not DP anymore".

If you´re interested in any details, just talk.

All the best to all with HPPD/DP/DR, it can be overcome!


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## JJ123D (Dec 6, 2013)

odysseus said:


> Sorry if this post is little detailed, and I have no advice for you except the usual. I tried to live normally but I did´nt work while DP´d. The most advice is already given on the forum.


Hey odysseus. What do you mean by the usual? Living a more healthy life and trying not to over think it? Anything else?

And you said I tried to live normally but it didn't work while DP'd, isn't that the usual? Trying to have a normal life? What did you do if that didn't work?

Thanks


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2014)

The usual advice works reasonably well. Try to live your life as you used to before DP, if possible. I tried to keep social, go to the store, go for walks, take the bus. I did´nt have a job after I got DP but I guess I could work but did´nt. I cut off all drugs and seldom drank alcohol. I did´nt go on a strict eating regime but I ate normally.

Yes, it did not always work and I was sometimes crippled in my room unable to do anything. But I was able to maintain a reasonable life despite DP.

I went to counseling but that did not help much. Just babbling about symptoms that nobody understood.


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## mckenzie (Jan 7, 2014)

Hi odysseus. Did you experience much anxiety during the time you had it?


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2014)

I did´nt have much anxiety, but I had this unrestfulness all the time being nervous if that´s anxiety.


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2014)

I´d like to add that I was in a period of heavy stress at work when I got DP. I believe DP has something to do with an existential "crisis" that one is not aware of beforehand. I had to rethink my life and made some experiments. I quit my job and drugs and alcohol and tried to chill more after this, searching for meaning. I have´nt read these "narcissistic parents" theories properly but I think there could be more reasons for DP. I have experienced bullying, but I´m not a victim. My parents did their best, though we had a lot of quarreling in my house.

All I mean is look for things in your life that could take a toll on you. Try the elimination method. Take some time off daily life and find your real essence, YOU ARE STILL THERE. Go for vacation, meditation, find a hobby, keep in touch with people, treat yourself to good food, spill your guts on this forum, share your symptoms with trusted people if you like.

Difficult to say what works, because I know the overwhelming feelings that DP can cause making you think that nothing helps!

The reason I´m not overcome with joy that DP is gone is that I have acquired an alcohol habit now. I feel very tired and I have to rebuild my life after DP, because I have been so passive. I give myself 6 months to feel energetic again and get back on track. DP can be crippling, but it can´t destroy you.

I could relapse, but I´ll see... So far it´s good and I know a person can have much strength to overcome a lot so good luck.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

What were your HPPD visuals?


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2014)

yosemitedome said:


> What were your HPPD visuals?


Closed eye visuals

Macropsia/micropsia

Movement in peripheral vision

Geometric patterns on walls

I could have more but I don´t know what to call it.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

odysseus said:


> Closed eye visuals
> 
> Macropsia/micropsia
> 
> ...


So nice to hear you're on the other side of this now man.

I thought I had HPPD for ages, but I'm 99.9% sure it was my anxiety talking haha. I think my DP is slowly lifting *touch wood*.

Wishing you well homie.


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2014)

Thanks!

I feel much lighter now that DP has lifted away. Feels like a heavy burden has been laid down.

Did´nt know that anxiety could make you feel HPPD, but I read that many conditions can give visuals too.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

odysseus said:


> Did´nt know that anxiety could make you feel HPPD, but I read that many conditions can give visuals too.


Yeah I was like 'fuck, what if it's a really mild version of HPPD'.

Anyways, I'm slowly on the up and up I believe, so I'm just riding the wave.


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2014)

Maybe you really had HPPD?

Ride it out baby, surf the storms of DP with a positive attitude and you can do it... It´s slow and painful, but remember maybe other people are not so well off either? You never know, I´m thankful for my experience really even if I think I have missed out. My dad and a friend says I did´nt miss out on anything and they maybe right. It´s the isolation that makes one feel dead alive. When I read the posts on this forum, it´s obvious that you can have a good life with DP. People have jobs, families and all that. Seems like wise people despite DP. IDK, just want to think positive and have a daring attitude to it.

Keep up everybody, when you feel better you may see that life has not passed you by at all you can still live.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

odysseus said:


> Maybe you really had HPPD?


Maybe, If I did/do I'd be the most rare, unlikely, nearing impossible case in history hahaha.

Anyways, I don't, and even if I do, I'm pretty happy with my life at the moment anyways.


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2014)

Hah, I had disabling HPPD/DP/DR so I was impossible too. My parents had to get food for me - embarrassing.

Glad you can still live, keep up...


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