# I drive myself crazy...



## Vienna (Jun 3, 2011)

Okay, so I was watching the movie "What a Girl Wants" and I was basically analyzing myself the whole time. I felt like I was this robot in this weird state. Then all of the sudden, I forced myself to stop thinking and just watch the movie....it was weird, cause for the first time I felt like I was actually listening to the actors and the music had a greater emotional effect on me..so by going blank I noticed more things but still felt like I wasn't myself, it was as if for the first time I saw things clearly and it's kinda scary cause most of my life has been dreamlike, I never really took if seriously... I am at a point where I am starting to question if I was ever not DP'd or even normal. Then I start to question how many different ways people can percieve life, then I started to question if I was really DP'd or just a sociopath who is detached.. I feel like I moniter myself 24/7 and it's driving me crazy yet I REALLY can't stop...while watching the movie I was sorta analyzing the main character who was around my age just to see what "normal" teen girls were like. My problem is, is that I try to make a new personality for myself thinking it will bring back my old one...so a lot of the time I get confused if the way I see things is me getting better and away from DP or me just DP'd and pretending to be someone else without knowing it (kinda like an actress)....how do you even know when your not DP'd after you've had it for sooo long?? haha sorry if this doesn't make sense.


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## cris24333 (Oct 30, 2010)

Vienna said:


> Okay, so I was watching the movie "What a Girl Wants" and I was basically analyzing myself the whole time. I felt like I was this robot in this weird state. Then all of the sudden, I forced myself to stop thinking and just watch the movie....it was weird, cause for the first time I felt like I was actually listening to the actors and the music had a greater emotional effect on me..so by going blank I noticed more things but still felt like I wasn't myself, it was as if for the first time I saw things clearly and it's kinda scary cause most of my life has been dreamlike, I never really took if seriously... I am at a point where I am starting to question if I was ever not DP'd or even normal. Then I start to question how many different ways people can percieve life, then I started to question if I was really DP'd or just a sociopath who is detached.. I feel like I moniter myself 24/7 and it's driving me crazy yet I REALLY can't stop...while watching the movie I was sorta analyzing the main character who was around my age just to see what "normal" teen girls were like. My problem is, is that I try to make a new personality for myself thinking it will bring back my old one...so a lot of the time I get confused if the way I see things is me getting better and away from DP or me just DP'd and pretending to be someone else without knowing it (kinda like an actress)....how do you even know when your not DP'd after you've had it for sooo long?? haha sorry if this doesn't make sense.


dp messes up ur thinking like that. sometimes i wonder if i even have dp or im just thinking it.u look at everyone else like if u were them.


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## bridges (May 31, 2011)

Hello

Let me start off by saying, this isnt uncommon. I have had this happen to me and let me relate to you by saying it is the single most frightening... weird unreal experience. Makes you think your going crazy!! you analyze how you think, move, talk everything. Worrying yourself that your not normal and people will notice. Well your are very normal, its 100% unnoticeable. It sounds more derealization than DP. just so you understand DR, it is a defense mechanism that powers up when your brain has had enough of the stress and anxiety. Your mind is so used to be stressed an anxious about something that it begins to find the very reality threatening. Its a sign that you need some rest.. I wont lie.. no it does not go away straight and is more difficult to be rid of than DP however its not something in my personal experience that will need meds. Your mind needs a holiday. DR/DP CANNOT exsist without anxiety being present. Do yourself a favour and see someone or try to figure out what causes the anxiety or stress. Once you rid that DP/DR gone.

I was once like you, scared, worried, Alone. However i have found the less attention i pay it the better it gets. I no right now you think i cant help it, and it just pops into you head... but you will soon figure out a way to divert your mind when it does.. like i did. I am just as normal as you i am only 20 years old. I promise u right now this WILL go. I PROMISE! i cannot stress to you anymore. It may feel like it will never end and you will always be this way and what if it dont go... i will bet my life savings that it will.

I really hope this helps. If you want to talk i can tell you about my experience with both DR/DP


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

Vienna said:


> Okay, so I was watching the movie "What a Girl Wants"... ....how do you even know when your not DP'd after you've had it for sooo long?? haha sorry if this doesn't make sense.


You sound like you're obsessing. I have this too. It makes it harder to get out of DP. You'd probably find it more helpful to find things which reduce these obsessive thoughts, rather than trying to answer all the questions.


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## Vienna (Jun 3, 2011)

bridges said:


> Hello
> 
> Let me start off by saying, this isnt uncommon. I have had this happen to me and let me relate to you by saying it is the single most frightening... weird unreal experience. Makes you think your going crazy!! you analyze how you think, move, talk everything. Worrying yourself that your not normal and people will notice. Well your are very normal, its 100% unnoticeable. It sounds more derealization than DP. just so you understand DR, it is a defense mechanism that powers up when your brain has had enough of the stress and anxiety. Your mind is so used to be stressed an anxious about something that it begins to find the very reality threatening. Its a sign that you need some rest.. I wont lie.. no it does not go away straight and is more difficult to be rid of than DP however its not something in my personal experience that will need meds. Your mind needs a holiday. DR/DP CANNOT exsist without anxiety being present. Do yourself a favour and see someone or try to figure out what causes the anxiety or stress. Once you rid that DP/DR gone.
> 
> ...


thanks for the encouraging words! I really hope it does :/


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## lil P nut (May 7, 2011)

Wow, you describe what happens to me when I watch T.V.....everytime. I can try and watch it with my mind or just let myself go blank, which I usually end up zoning out. I usually just go blank because the other way I just get confused and can't pay any attention. I don't know if I'm going crazy either. I have alot of anxiety feelings in my body and it feels like they are changing my brain.







Good to know someone else has this experience, I think it's just dp and we will b ok.


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