# NEED HELP. Stuck behind my own eys



## edgapena (Dec 12, 2015)

Hello my name is Edgar and i have been suffering from dp/dr for a month now. To put my story in short words I began having existential thoughts and began questioning literally everything i came in contact with. My brain would be filled with philosophical question about life, reality, time, space, humanity and even my own existence. I was able to deal with derealization and the thought that my life was just a dream, but now it has progressed to the point that i feel as if i am stuck in a movie. I feel as if am stuck behind my own eyes and i am watching the world through a projector. This began two days ago and i can not seem to shake it off. I have to continuously keep reminding myself that i am part of this world and that it is very real indeed. People automatically wake up and see the world as it is and never question their sight. I actually think about seeing and how my brain is projecting images through my eyes. Its as if i am continuously conscious about my own sight. I'm not sure if i am making myself clear, its really hard to put into words. I feel like i have forgotten about my other senses and i am just focused on my sight. The best way to put is that i feel like walking eyeballs. Sometimes i just close my eyes for seconds to reconnect with my other senses, and because just seeing gives me anxiety. I know sight is a gift that should not be taking for granted but right now i feel as my anxiety is turning my sight into a curse. Also because i feel like sometimes my life is not real i feel like my mind is very susceptible in believing things that might not be true. Im always thinking about life and the meaning behind space, time and matter. I also think about evolution a lot an how humans got to be who they are now. This toughts are ruining my life. I want to be able to worry about my school, job, family but it seems that this state of mind and thoughts are taking over my life. I have never reached out and asked help from people in forums but this state of mind is ruining my life. I am not sure if anyone has experienced what i am experiencing right now, but if there is any advice that someone can give me to slowly help me escape from this hell i would highly appreciate it. Also knowing that i am not alone with this illness would be of great help. Thank You


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## JayB (Apr 6, 2015)

I feel you, existential thoughts and feelings of strangeness to myself are my most disturbing symptoms. However I've been dealing with them for a reasonable amount of time and i can tell you that you wont die or go crazy from them. It surely feels horrible, but it's just that...feelings. This symptom doesn't bother me as much as before. I sometimes have moments when i'm like ''holy shit, i'm seeing trough my two eyes, i can't see my face, and i look down at my body like i'm controlling a strange fleshy machine''. Then panic grows but i just distract myself and this over-awareness of my vision goes away.

I've seen this dp pattern quite a lot in the community: Massive stress/anxiety/traumatic events (like a loss, bad trip, broke up) --> massive DR --> intense anxiety about DR --> DR lessen a bit but DP becomes much stronger --> existential thoughts about anything because feeling only like eyes and thoughts --> anxiety --> dp/dr --> anxiety --> repeat.

Now to break the cycle, there are no miracles. You have to learn to not fear the symptoms and just ''surf'' on your feelings.

Here is a post i've written a while ago talking about the same feeling : http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/50437-obsessed-with-my-eyesight-what-the-hell-also-recap-of-my-progress/

Just chill, you are safe.

Have a nice day.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Sounds like very classic dp dr . Ur perception has altered and u can't feel ur person . Therefore it feels weird to look out of ur eyes . So know that when the dp dr goes that ur thinking won't be like this


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## hurricane123 (Dec 15, 2015)

hey man my best advice is to keep yourself out of your head by distracting yourself. whether its hanging out with friends, playing video games, what ever catches your interest the less time you spend in your head the better you will eventually feel. in all honesty I think you will be fine give it time man, If your anxiety is really bad I definitely recommend a psychiatrist your anxiety may be an underlying issue. I don't know if your depressed as well but that can also contribute to these feelings.

I wish you the best


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## mmdpri (Mar 24, 2018)

Yeah that's it! That's exactly how it is!


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## Kmac0917 (Dec 3, 2019)

So glad other ppl can articulate this for me !!!


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