# Everything Feels Meaningless to Me.



## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

I've suddenly found that everything, everyone, or anything that I may do in the present - or the future - is absolutely bland.

I woke up like this; two days ago, I was excited to finally put in my application to GameStop (a place I've been wanting to work out for years now) and I was even more stoked to have spoken to the manager and really hit it off. I went back home, met up with a friend, and we played a new game on my console and life, honestly, felt really good. It would have been the first time, in a long time, that I felt like I was actually doing something towards my life instead of sitting on my computer day after day.

Then, I fell asleep and woke up. That GameStop job now seems pointless, trivial, and even annoying. Friends or visiting my friends seems terribly boring. Even dreaming up my "dream jobs" (the ones I have been dreaming up for a long time and have always made me happy) seem like I don't want them anymore. I continually try to point myself in a direction, only to be stopped because I know that if I do anything, I'll still be bored of it all.

It's frightening to feel that everything is boring; it's even more frightening to not care to get better. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go at this point; I feel emotionally drained, I feel sub-human. I'm not sure if I'm just going through a "phase", considering this came out of nowhere, or if I'm legitimately bored of life. I'm more frightened that there may not be anything to lead me out of this; it's a fear that I'll always be bored of everything and never find happiness, no matter how hard I try.

I decided that I'd talk to my therapist about it next week, but I'm not sure if I can last that long with this stuff swimming around in my head. My thoughts have been disorganized, my negative habits are coming back, I'm treating myself like trash every day and, like I said, everything is bland. In other words, I suppose I'd be apathetic towards life. There are sometimes where I can feel a very, very fleeting glimpse of excitement and happiness, but it soon goes away when I realize that I'm emotionless.

Anyone else experience this?


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

I haven't been right every since I started working tbh, Depersonalization was never as big of a factor as I treat it now lol


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## beautiful one (Sep 2, 2014)

My husband is frustrated with me because when I get under a lot of stress I have a hard time functioning because of the dp. The world and myself are no th real to me so nothing gets done I just Sit here in a dream. It sucks!


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

Thanks for commenting, everyone.

Depersonalization sucks, especially when it makes everything seem trivial and you end up doing nothing at all the entirety of the day.


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## beautiful one (Sep 2, 2014)

Today dp is so bad I am extremely depressed. I feel suicidal when I get this bad. I called my Dr. even though I know they can't help.


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