# Worst day of my life



## shadowshudder (Sep 9, 2013)

I started a new anti-depressant today that is supposed to take away anxiety as well (Effexor). I'm 15 years old.

Well it made my DP shoot through the roof. I felt so tired today and when I wasn't sleeping in class, I was crying. I'm crying as I'm writing this. I was crying biking on my way home from school (I even felt tempted to run in to a car to take my own life). I have major depression and DP. And maybe even DR. If I had a loaded gun in my hand, I'd definitely blow my fucking brains out because of how I feel right now. Maybe I'm just delusional. Maybe I'm crazy. I can't be for certain, but all I know right now is that I feel so fucking bad. The worst I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel so numb. So out of it. So... so distant. I keep telling myself I'm never going to get better because that's the way I feel. I have no friends at school. I don't talk to anyone. It's even made me talk to myself in my head at times... like I have a conversation with myself. Maybe this will just turn in to full blown schizophrenia where I have a hallucinated friend... that'd be terrible though.


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## Swansea (Jun 11, 2013)

Is there anyway for you to go inpatient just until you get stable on your medication? A lot of medication will make you feel a lot worse before you get better this includes worse derpsonalization/derealization, depression, suicidal ideation. However, depression and suicidal ideation tend to me worse in younger people. Do you have anyone monitering you? I cannot stress this enough you need to make sure you have someone to talk to and monitor you. You are depressed right now it is just where you are right now and where your perspective is. You will not always feel like this. Again you will come out of this at some point. It will just take time and finding the right medication. If you are feeling suicidal please consider checking into a hospital just so they can monitor you until your med kicks in fully and you are more stable.


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## Swansea (Jun 11, 2013)

Also, some complementary suggestions if you can get a hold of them. Please take fish oil (omega 3 fatt acids), b-complex, and a multi-vitamin. Cut out gluten this includes all bread. You should only eat rice and things like quinoa for grains. Increase vegtable intake. Exercise at least 4 times a week for 30 min.

This is a body scan meditation to help you get more grounded and back in touch with your body.






Mental Health America
Reach Out: Get Through Tough Times
Help for Suicidal Thoughts: Read This First.

*24-Hour Help:*
National Suicide Prevention Hotlines: 
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Remember there is an answer to every question. If you are seeking help and answers you will eventually find relief.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Go on a wheat, dairy & gluten free diet this I'll help you immensely!!

Then u can work on ur issues.


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