# Finally recovering!! These are my observations..



## xXSMGXx (Apr 30, 2010)

Depersonalization is NOT caused by 
- Too much adrenaline ( This is the most common myth being pushed by the cbt people and doctors, again they have no clue)
- Hyperventilation ( Common myth number two, health care professionals and self help websites love this idea, I do not because this is a myth)
- A chemical imbalance (This one is open for debate, because some people simply got better by taking vitamins and fish oils, however this was not my case, another myth it is. Again doctors who lack any knowledge in this field will prescribe you medications)
- Negative thinking (Even when i was happy and satisfied with my life the depersonalization showed no signs of improvement, just a better mood for the time)
- Emotional trauma (Sure this might have been a trigger, but it is not the reason why you are stuck this way right NOW. The reason being is that you were hurt and you started to think inward and about yourself more, again being caught up in your innner world)

The breakthrough came to me one day as i was with my father. Something grabbed my attention as we were out shopping for a new cell phone. He seemed to be so absorbed by this idea of getting a new phone, like getting the right model, the right provider, the right price range. He was literally oblivious to what was happening on the road as we were driving, he kept on asking himself out loud different questions and just being caught up in the moment. He was an introvert, i saw it that day, it was clear and shocking to me. Right away i realized that i was no different from him, as i was his son. He thought about his world, his problems. As i got back home i put on space invaders on my iphone, just a normal afternoon and nothing special. For the first time i saw how introverted my thinking was. ALL of my attention was on me as i was playing the game, i haven't had a single thought about playing space invaders. I was thinking about me, myself and only. Then i tried to shift my attention outward onto the game, and it worked. For a split second i was able to let go of my inner world and produce thought about the game at hand. It felt good.

Things started to quickly make sense. It became obvious as to why i sometimes started to feel like myself when i was out with a friend. Or when one time i was at a night club, or when i was visiting a new area in the city. A vacation, a birthday party, it all made sense.
In other words people who tend to get hit by dp are introverted people. Perhaps shy, or maybe people who prefer to be on their own rather than in company of others. Me for example, i hate the crowds, i get drained of energy when i am around others. Sometimes i need to go home and recharge, again really introverted. This personality type lays way for depersonalization.

One morning i woke up and i tried to think about the street that i lived on, it was really hard. Again anything that took my thoughts from myself worked miracles. You see it is all about creating thoughts in your mind that are not about you. It is as if my eyes look forward but in reality they are looking inward, as if an empty gaze. It's only purpose is to see things inside, not outside. Even as i am typing this, i am playing tug of war with myself. Let me tell you right now it is not going to be easy to start thinking about other things other than your inner world. My speculation on to as why people develop depersonalization is this. During your anxiety disorder people tend to live more introverted lifestyles. Leaving no room for friends, work, study, or even having fun like going out. You can see how this becomes a breeding ground for thinking more and more about yourself. The further away you get from living a normal life the more you spend time at home and think more about you. I thought that depersonalization was brought on by lack of friends, it was certainly not. I am living proof that you can recover even in your bedroom and being a complete loner. The trick here is to produce thoughts about outer world, i dont mean the whole planet, but just enough to think like the task at hand. You can try producing a depersonalization free thought next time you wake up. As soon as you wake up, think about a new thing that you can do today. Speculate on what it can be, a trip to the zoo perhaps? Maybe visiting a mall perhaps? See it is not the action but the thought that counts, this way you are already thinking in the right direction. A direction away from self. For me just the deciding part is enough to break free of the thoughts about myself that enter my mind and developing a depersonalized stream of thoughts after.

At this moment i am not fully recovered yet. However i break free of myself when i watch television, play video games, being in crowded places like malls or movie theaters. It is truly a liberated feeling. Going outside gives me a chance to focus on other things again and i use it as a first aid nowdays! Right now even the slightest distraction like playing tetris on my phone brings me back to reality. The further you are into recovery the less distraction you are going to requier. 
Again none of the above had worked for me in the past. There was a point in my condition where depersonalization had "settled" in and it simply won't budge no matter how hard i was distracing myself. Meaning that there were no changes at all for a long time. In other words reading this may not help you this instant. What will help you is persistance with distractions and giving your best at work, hobbies, socializing. Eventually your work will pay off and depersonalization WILL give in.
I apologize if above is too technical and hard to understand. This will make sense as you begin to recover. Recovery will be about changing what you choose to think about.

Below is a list of mysterious events that triggered reality for me and a short explanation based on my current recovery and discoveries regarding dp. 
Example: I got back into reality for a couple of minutes after recieving a call from a long forgotten high school friend.
Explanation: This automatically forced my brain to produce a thought outside of myself and about another person. This automatically diverted my train of thought outward and away from myself.

Example: Reading somewhere about a person recovering after getting a job or enrolling in a college course.
Explanation: This is absolutely true. The person was able to be fully distracted from thoughts about self and think about work, college etc. This is instant recovery right there.

Example: Reading about a person being fully recovered after becoming fully social and outgoing.
Explanation: In my opinion socializing is the number one cure for depersonalization. Unfortunately not everyone is lucky to have many friends. Me for example i have only a handful and i don't get out very often. The truth is like i said, it is possible to recover from this in pure isolation. I am living proof again.

I apologize for my english and wish you a quick recovery


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## Deleted Account (Jul 26, 2010)

Hey thanks for posting this, I found this very helpful. Good luck with your recovery


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## CYounkin (Nov 26, 2010)

I don't doubt we're introverted people but I think its more than just trying to go outside of yourself. When people invite me out I always go, just to test myself in a social situation, and I lean in and try to follow the conversation as best as possible but then I realize a bit later that i've lost track of what they're talking about and where I am. I need to stop being so discouraged but then again, i've had some pretty bad experiences where I have kept at it also so i'm not sure what the middle ground is.


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## Onibla (Nov 9, 2010)

Totally agree with you xXSMGXx.
However, this tactic is not for those in deep stages of DP/DR. It's for those who have gotten over the fear and most of the DR but can't seem to make the final push back into reality.
I literally started doing this yesterday when I too realised how extremely introverted my thoughts had become. I'd watch TV just thinking about how I felt, or how it looked to me, rather than having my whole attention on what was going on outside of me.


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

thank you for posting, interesting theory.


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

just a question though, how do you know those things you listed are a myth for sure?


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## Harpo (Oct 15, 2009)

Seems to me like you nailed it. Gonna try applying this in the future.


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## Kitr (Jul 7, 2009)

I think you are right!!! Because when i'm out with friends i feel much better!!! The only thing that bothers me now is anxiety for no reason and depression (feeling in chest you know) i got back after i had panic attack when i got ill. But i'm like 80% DP DR free. I'm thinking about taking john wort again. What od you guys think?

Thanks!!!


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## MyOwnWorld (Dec 2, 2010)

very insightful

peace & love


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