# How I recovered from constant Philosophical Questions.



## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

To me... The philisophical questions that followed a DP attack were far worse than the DP itself. I was constantly asking myself strange questions like "why are we here", "am I really a human?", "is everything fake?", "am I the only real human, and everything else is a decoy"... And "is THIS all life is?" 
But they got weirder and stranger. 
"What if everything in my life is completely made up by my mind which is really an evil presence that is trying to trick me into thinking that life exists."

"What if I created life"

"What if everything around me is all fake and life doesn't even exist."

The constant questions dragged me down... I would feel extremely anxious. And through many weeks of thinking, I finally came up with my version of how depersonalization feels:

Before DP, life was like me leaning on a wall. Every day troubles and life happenings went on. I would lean on this wall, and it held me up. I didn't think about any philisophical questions, or what life was, or have any anxiety.

But suddenly, I would lean on this same wall, and BAM, the DP hits me and the wall crashes down and I fall with it. I fall into this lonely open space, extremely self aware, and panicked. I freak out and feel like I have "debugged life's code" and now what WAS my normal life will fade and my conscience will move into another being or thing that isn't human. 
Thinking about it constantly made it worse.

So what I've done in order to fix everything. Is:

1.) ACCEPT that you have had a depersonalization/deprealization/anxiety attack.

2.) Know that these strange thoughts are all nonsense... And that life is normal and YOU are normal.

3.) Stop what you are doing, and STOP THINKING about these thoughts. Dwelling on them is like shooting yourself in the foot. You are wasting your life worrying about something that you will NEVER find the answer to. And with it, you are causing more anxiety, and DP/DR.

4.) Make sure that you have fun.

5.) DISTRACTION. Absolutely needed. Don't look your symptoms up online or google about life's existence. On yahoo answers you will find people thinking the same things you are, and you will mold THEIR problems into your problem. Watch a movie. Go to sleep. In my dreams, I am never thinking about DP/DR or life's existence.

6.) And the most important:
HOPE. You are normal, and you will be okay.

Hope this helps!


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## Guest (May 1, 2014)

Thanks a lot, this is helpful to me. Do you have any idea why these thoughts come about and why they are so shockingly frightening? That's the bit I don't fully understand. They literally make my brain quake with fear yet I know they are not normally frightening as I have thought them before DP and never cared.


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## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

I think these thoughts make us feel so awful because it is the thought that everything you knew was a lie. You are completely out of your element and you feel trapped. Feeling trapped and hopeless is one of the worst feelings one can endure.. And the thought of life itself not mattering is almost too much to bear, because the very thing that you have, life, is being questioned.. By life itself. Your mind completely turns in on itself and everything dwells on you endlessly. 
That's why I find that distracting yourself from these horrible thoughts is 100%, and will always be 100% full proof in making you feel better. Over time, you will recover fully, and you will be a stronger person in the end.

I'll be here every now and then if you have any more questions.


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## Guest (May 1, 2014)

If that was directed at me then when did I ever say I was suicidal? And do you think I chose to worry about why we exist? This is a symptom of my current condition, the thoughts are irrational and intrusive. I'm sure there are elements of your condition which I don't understand but I don't call you a pussy do I?

This thread is about philosophical questions so don't come on here criticising others for talking about them when they suffer from them you insensitive prick. I had a long period of DP for many years previous to this one and never suffered from existential thoughts so it has nothing to do with being a pussy, it is a symptom of the disorder, if you don't suffer with it then count yourself lucky as many people including myself find it the hardest symptom to bear.


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

Thanks, these thoughts are my whole problem, what if I created everything with my mind. Did you have these thoughts for a long time? Ive had this over a year and feel like I can never not have them again.


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## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

Hosscat said:


> Thanks, these thoughts are my whole problem, what if I created everything with my mind. Did you have these thoughts for a long time? Ive had this over a year and feel like I can never not have them again.


Hi! I guess I've always had these thoughts.. But they would freak me out so I would simply stop thinking about them. (Lots of "normal" people that I've talked to in my high school said that they would get really creeped out about those thoughts too and they've thought them.)
But as soon as the DP hit me, I've not been able to "let them go" or dismiss them... As I've been obsessing about them. I had been obsessing over these thoughts for a month... Constantly.

What I recommend is to, like I said, go out and get active.. Distract yourself  Thinking these thoughts won't solve anything at all... And will only drag you deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. You are a normal, normal, absolutely normal human being who is questioning life like everybody else. You, me, and other people like us have just been obsessing about them 

We are all okay.


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## 59Ballons (Mar 10, 2014)

Hosscat said:


> Thanks, these thoughts are my whole problem, what if I created everything with my mind. Did you have these thoughts for a long time? Ive had this over a year and feel like I can never not have them again.


I guess that we just need to somehow find that "rational" part of our brain again to tell us to knock it off. I would have never listened to these strange questions before I had DP... Now I can still dismiss them, but they will not go away and they freak me out.. And they lead to other bizzare questions and more anxiety.

Over the past week however, I've been feeling a lot better and distracting myself has helped tremendously. I was in a pretty rough spot a month ago. You can do it! 

There will always be hope.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Good advice. Really struggle with this. 59 Ballons i PMD u.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

Good post. What you do is you ignore it. Easier than it sounds, I know. My DP has always taken the form of constant philosophical questioning and existential panic. I've suffered from it multiple times and each time wondered how I could ever be the same again and not have these thoughts. DP shuts down your access to your mental toolbox. Logic is one of the tools in this toolbox. Once you allow DP to be there and ignore the thoughts, they will begin to fade. As they fade, you'll regain access to your mental toolbox, and you'll realize how ludicrous these thoughts are.

Don't give up, guys. I promise you that you will make a full recovery.


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## thisisawersome (Apr 27, 2014)

I also have these deep thoughts now and then, but I'm a programmer so I think in logic and always find an end to my questions.

I never thought about these thoughts being a result of my DR though.


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## Guest (May 5, 2014)

thisisawersome said:


> I also have these deep thoughts now and then, but I'm a programmer so I think in logic and always find an end to my questions.
> 
> I never thought about these thoughts being a result of my DR though.


I too work in computers and tormented myself with questions about the origin of the universe. The thing is, there is a sort of answer to this question and the answer is that the universe is infinite, and our brains don't understand infinity (because everything we know on Earth has to have a beginning and an end) so we have to just accept it. It's not that there isn't an answer, it's more a case of us not being able to comprehend it.


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## bluecanary (May 2, 2014)

Thank you for this post, 59Ballons. It describes my current struggle very well. I'm going through a lot of the philosophical thoughts, trying to understand what it's all about and all that. It baffles me even at this very moment that I'm able to have a thought in my head, send the message to my fingers to type it on the keyboard where it then gets picked up by anyone who reads it and turns into a thought in their head. I really think that the only help for this is to let go of it - constantly trying to find the answer isn't going to do anything but drive us further into the DP/DR zone. As illogical as it might seem, I'm trying hard to just let go and accept the reality around me, as strange as it may feel to me. I'm just hoping that with time, things will start to feel more "normal."


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## Spadde (Oct 29, 2013)

I think this is how I feel too. I have been trying to stop thinking about why I am here and just start being instead, but its almost like I cant, this world is to bizzare to not think about.

I also have trouble finding anything that is fun.


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