# Reborn



## Lant_1995 (Sep 19, 2017)

It's been awhile since I posted about how I feel. for the past 3 months I've been in an existential hell, the constant "worrying" and "obsessing" has drained me mentally and physically. I've been upgraded to taking 30mg of Lexapro and 0.25 of Xanax a day. The increase in the Lexapro has definitely helped with the hopelessness I've been feeling, but the Xanax is nothing more than a temporary fix to an enormous mental problem. The main issue I've been dealing with now is the feeling of being "reborn". It sounds crazy but I truly feel like after these 3 months of dealing with this that the sense of who I am has changed. When I attempt to think about past memories, I always panic about how distant and unreal they feel it literally feels like I'm a different consciousness. I have moments where I feel like I've forgotten that I even exist, and occupy the body that I'm in. If someone were to tell me that I was just born yesterday I would believe them. If I survive this and come out with all my sanity intact, I most likely will become some kind of mental health professional to help others. If I can make it out, I want others to have the courage and strength to do it too. i love you all.....


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## Nadosa (Sep 9, 2017)

Love u too, waiting for u on the other side bud.


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## FranticallyNumb (Jan 27, 2017)

The first day I "dissociated", I felt blank, like a replacement of whoever was formerly in this body. There was this huge emptiness in me. I felt like I was just responding automatically to every motion, my personality gone. I was just observing myself. Tabula rasa ish


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## FranticallyNumb (Jan 27, 2017)

I completely understand what you're describing, Lant


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

Lant_1995 said:


> It's been awhile since I posted about how I feel. for the past 3 months I've been in an existential hell, the constant "worrying" and "obsessing" has drained me mentally and physically. I've been upgraded to taking 30mg of Lexapro and 0.25 of Xanax a day. The increase in the Lexapro has definitely helped with the hopelessness I've been feeling, but the Xanax is nothing more than a temporary fix to an enormous mental problem. The main issue I've been dealing with now is the feeling of being "reborn". It sounds crazy but I truly feel like after these 3 months of dealing with this that the sense of who I am has changed. When I attempt to think about past memories, I always panic about how distant and unreal they feel it literally feels like I'm a different consciousness. I have moments where I feel like I've forgotten that I even exist, and occupy the body that I'm in. If someone were to tell me that I was just born yesterday I would believe them. If I survive this and come out with all my sanity intact, I most likely will become some kind of mental health professional to help others. If I can make it out, I want others to have the courage and strength to do it too. i love you all.....


I totally can relate with you. I barely know I exist. I mean I really don't know any more. I think I M really gone for good. It's like I died. My whole other life was a different life altogether. I don't understand. I wish I could leave this life. It seems like all I have been put here to do is suffer.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Lant_1995 said:


> If someone were to tell me that I was just born yesterday I would believe them.


I've said before that I feel like I have gone back to age zero, or what it must have been like before I knew anything at all.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Me too i feel same my dp is back worse it was near gone but its hit me like a bus again plus im so depressed its like a black hole is all I see ..


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## Kloin (Oct 16, 2017)

DP makes you feel like you've had it your whole life but in reality its toying with you memory, I dont think you've been reborn. Just DP fucking with our minds, sorry..


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## FranticallyNumb (Jan 27, 2017)

I’m so tired of DP =[


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## Mimoza (Sep 7, 2017)

I relat to "back to the time zéro" ih seems less than DP struggling but its hell For me i feel very empty since i recovered(10 months ago), this amptiness and "reborning state" triggered a hard social anxiety caused I can't socialize as I used to be this is ruining my life I became that awkward 16 years age teen(I have 27) i dont know if this is temporary I think to take SSRI to relief my social anxiety but I'm hesitating that it will trigger dp. Any advice u can give me to escape this situation


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