# video bad bad story



## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

I am fed up with DP , I can't take it anymore , I got doctors , pills and stuff , I do relaxation , everything I can do , I even try to forget it and tried acceptance , but for the moment it is not working , it worked for a bit .

I need a worlwide specialist , and we all need here a worldwidde specialist , to make serious researches on the subject and try to find a cure , a real one , and not an addictive one with more side effects

I think that psychiatrist , neurologist and psychologist , and also biological searchers could try to make a research on it .

Cos we are more and more with DP s and it is harsh painfull and bad I swear !!
It is not a dream , it is a nightmare that you can t even express properly to your family , friends , and others

we are not psychotic , we are not all drug addict even if it s alright to cure properly people with that kind of disorders , everyone deserves health ,

Sometimes we are victims of medication

Sometimes we are victims of a biological problem

It is not only in the Head , I believe at a certain point it is genetical

I want us to be strong and if I am doing these videos it is more for the children and teens who got this disorder , it is so unfair , it is for all the DPS , their families , and friends ,

God help us in our fight, we will be soon healed , I really hope.

This is the complete story I had , if you re having the same symptoms , contact your doctor , medical centrer

Too I would like all the DPs to share on you tube , the more we post , the more people are gonna be aware of our condition and maybe are gonna understand better ....

It is so hard not to be able to explain properly what we are experiencing

The 3 first videos

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSylarpetrelli?feature=mhum#p/u/5/zCl65xwIXHE

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSylarpetrelli?feature=mhum#p/u/4/nGpiwlL8KA4

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSylarpetrelli?feature=mhum#p/u/3/C8KNvistnJI

When I thought I was healed for good ....

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSylarpetrelli?feature=mhum#p/u/2/w6kY2m8j7ks

When I came back in my nightmare

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSylarpetrelli?feature=mhum#p/u/1/DalImW_ijA0

Message to all Dps

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSylarpetrelli?feature=mhum#p/u/0/lQi3oJ5pisc


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

"at the moment" may not be working probably because you have to give it a lot of time.


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## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

Jayd said:


> "at the moment" may not be working probably because you have to give it a lot of time.


Don't be misunderstood about my life please by six videos which don't even last 10 minutes each , this is not my all life , but the worse parts

it is so easy to judge , you should know it .


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## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

j4mtj said:


> You are having an acute withdrawal reaction which is biological, forgetting and acceptance will not work here. Rudy, this is terrible what is happening to you and seems so needless that the medication was mismanaged. Are you sticking to the withdrawal schedule that CAMH gave you? That still seems to be too much too fast. You said you can't see anyone until March 30 but the withdrawal should be slowed down until then. Even if you need to go into a walk-in clinic in the meantime to talk to a doctor.


I think I will have to be hospitalized , I really need some medical supervision , to help me out , CAMH , the only thing they say me it is that they take my case very seriously , that I am gonna have a detox doctor , and that s a good thing because the waiting list is huge ... but for the moment I m like this , alone , without medical supervision , it is scary , I called the hospital and they told me that in case of Emergency to call 911 , but if I get totally depersonalized how can I do that ? 
I got a tapper , for the moment it is not that bad , it is bearable , but I need a refer too for a neurologist because I am sure that the Benzos caused me brain damages ...
I am so tired of this , so so tired ...

I really have sympathy for the kids and teens who have that , me as a young adult , I find it tough and very hard , I can t even imagine how it is for someone younger or even for the elders .

But we have to keep hope in any cases


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## bline (May 4, 2009)

I really like your video posts and you are right benzos are really bad . I have had dp/dr for 4 years now and I am truly over it, I want to go back to uni soon but cant focus long enough let alone remember much . It seem that you go through phases and there are more down's rather than up's . Im just sick of being at war with myself and having no one to talk to that doesn't charge by the hour. This week has been really bad but aleast there are other out there so we are not completely alone.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

bline said:


> I really like your video posts and you are right benzos are really bad . I have had dp/dr for 4 years now and I am truly over it, I want to go back to uni soon but cant focus long enough let alone remember much . It seem that you go through phases and there are more down's rather than up's . Im just sick of being at war with myself and having no one to talk to that doesn't charge by the hour. This week has been really bad but aleast there are other out there so we are not completely alone.


*you are right benzos are really bad*

Did you have a bad reaction to benzos?


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## bline (May 4, 2009)

Not really no , but they are just highly addictive and sadly the only way to deal with it at the start . I get tempted to take one every now and then when its really bad as I have them at home but I always try my hardest to ride it out ... I have just come to realize that when you think things are getting better dp/dr like to come and pop you bubble .


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## Felicity (Feb 7, 2011)

Aw Rudy my heart goes out to you, you sound very depressed, just don't give up hope! It may or may not go away but you have to have faith and believe in your strength, if you believe in God pray to God. Believe me everyone has some shit in their life that they have to go through and some of us break under the strain and others manage somehow but it's not easy for anyone. I really hope you keep making videos too as they are informative and can help others and you as well, they don't have to be about dp just talk about anything so you can know people care..


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## Another Name (Mar 18, 2011)

Rudy, thanks for sharing what is happening to you. I have DP/DR for more than 25 years now but didn't know what it was since last week. I saw you on your videos today and it made me "feel" less strange, less freaky, I could recognize something and am less alone. I wanted to say more, but I'm not able at the moment to keep my thought togehter as I seem to get fully into a DR phase. Your video made me feel a little bit. Thank you, what you're doing is great, people should know more about it to be less strange in the world, it's enough being weird to oneself. If I was at your side I would like to give you a big hug.


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