# Depersonalization happen in social events



## Chillz15 (Dec 26, 2016)

Hi everyone, 
I've only had this happen to me about 3 times. I believe two of them happened because I had a panic attack, and the third one was just a withdrawal because of the people around me.
(It might help to know that I have social anxiety)
The first time it happened it was my freshman year of high school and it was the first party I ever went to. I knew some people, but they weren't people that particularly liked or knew me. I had my boyfriend with me, but even that didn't help. I remember walking in, looking around at the people there, and I became very dizzy and my heart rate increased. I didn't feel real for a second, I felt like I was watching everything. Something told me that I needed to leave, so I left, trying to catch my breath and explaining to my boyfriend why I couldn't stay.
The second one happened my sophomore year of college. I play softball, but I'm not really friends with anyone in the team. One day at weightlifting, one of the "bitchier" girls asked me something, and I didn't hear her right. I felt really embarrassed and stupid. I suddenly felt that dizziness again, and it looked like I was watching a movie. I remember walking around, but I didn't feel like I was in my body. Everything just kind of felt like I was in virtual reality, and I just remember telling somebody that I wasn't okay. So I dipped out for a moment and then was able to relax. It almost felt like I was sucked back into my body and I could breathe. It was really embarrassing to go back because I had a hard time explaining what happened and why it happened. 
The third time was at softball practice again. That day I was very depressed. I felt alone and isolated. I remember spacing out very badly, not blinking, feeling like I was watching a movie again. 
I haven't had an experience like this in a couple years. That or I just don't notice when it happens. I just want to know if they always feel that extreme as the three that I can remember happened. 
What does it feel like for you guys? Does it happen because of a situation, does it happen when you think about something, or does it happen when you feel really depressed? And does it happen often?
Thanks


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## tfiio (Nov 10, 2016)

there's a lot of different stories around here. you seem to have a pretty good understanding of what triggers that feeling in you, and it comes and goes as a specific event. most of the frequent posters here tend to have a more constant feeling, some for whom it fluctuates due to surrounding events, some for whom it's pretty much a straight line. depersonalization and derealization can be symptoms of other disorders, like your social anxiety, or a disorder in and of themselves, like me.

I can't guess how often it will happen to you. I can point out that it seems to be related to feeling isolated or unwanted each time, and that having good, real (not necessarily irl, but real) friends may serve as somewhat of a buffer for that. I mean, like. having friends who actually care about you and you like talking to is pretty useful regardless, but I think it would also specifically target one of your primary concerns based on what you've told us.

maybe someone whose experiences run closer to yours than the "norm" around here will come out of the woodwork to say hello  don't let anyone get bratty at you though, I can see why some people might be upset because you "got off easy" and maybe lash out in response.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Stress!!!!

Stressful events, periods in life, stressful people, stressful environments.....

Stress is Anxiety and Depersonalizations best friend...

When we become stressed we automatically start to detach....Its probably a learned behaviour from a very young age which in turn makes us feel very strange and hence brings on panic attacks.....This leads us into the fear cycle of DP which I believe results in a chemical imbalance....

Now! .........how to break this fear cycle and realign the unbalanced chemicals I honestly have no idea...Thats the million dollar question!

Moral of the story!!!!!!!! Reduce the stress in your life.....

Best place to start is with toxic people...Stick with winners and rid youself of trouble makers...


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## Newchie97 (Sep 11, 2016)

A GOOD therapist can help you with the fear. I would start with that. And if needed an anti anxiety med can help. Usually a med combined with therapy give the best results


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## Zed (Jul 25, 2015)

eddy1886 said:


> Now! .........how to break this fear cycle and realign the unbalanced chemicals I honestly have no idea...Thats the million dollar question!
> 
> Moral of the story!!!!!!!! Reduce the stress in your life.....


You answered your own question .. 

Reducing the stress is a great start to breaking this cycle of dp > stress > dp.

The way I was taught by my old therapist was to start paying attention to when my episodes of dissociation took off, ie consciously identifying my triggers. That's really the starting point. Once you know your triggers you can move forwards.


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