# What helps me..........



## Guest (Aug 12, 2004)

I think this category may have been my idea originally, so I guess it fits that I jump back in first.

So, I feel DP pretty much all the time. Have for a very long time now. On the other hand, I know logically that I can't possibly be DP every second. Wouldn't be able to accomplish what I do otherwise. And there are activities that can distract me for a bit. 
- Competitive sports work sometimes. Basketball, golf, pool (especially if there is money involved), etc. Trying my best to win at something usually gets me up out of myself.
- Taking the hound for a long walk. Probably not so much being with the dog as it is being outside. Lots of distractions outside, and I can get caught up in my surroundings sometimes. 
- Projects. I just did a nice brick arrangement along the walkway leading up to our house. Took hours and hours in the hot sun. Basic cause and effect type effort that actually turned out looking pretty good. And - I was relatively DP free during construction.
- Sex. For some reason, this always works. And, what with having a permanent date and all, is regularly available as therapy. Well, maybe not as regular as I'd choose, but I don't want to get in trouble so I won't say any more about that. My point is - physical contact with another human critter helps me get out of the DP.
- other stuff. This is a huge category, and one that I don't understand. Just, anything can get my mind of myself for a minute or two. Comes and goes, and I can't seem to pick what will do it, but at one time or another pretty much anything does.

Anyway, just trying to get things started in this forum. Feel free to add what works for you.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

This is a good topic, as for some reason I've noticed I've been feeling a tad better the past few days.

Why? I've been very occupied with trying to help the Rev in small ways to get the forum back. My big thing was, aha! I have the links in a list... or most of them, and was all excited about getting those back up. Also, I enjoyed helping with something I really care about.

Strange, it's what I call "catastrophe mode" without any real "weight" to it. I seem to function well under pressure in situations that are not "real world" work related. I.E., I was able to function well when both of my parents got ill, when they needed nursing home care, and ultimately when they both died. I handled that all myself. I'm an only child and they didn't speak to each other, etc., etc.

Thing is those things HAD to be done and yet they were PERSONAL, related to me.

In work situations, where I have dealt with high pressure, my DP/DR fly through the roof. There is too much pressure involved... fear of failure, being judged, fear of being fired, fear of being thought of as an idiot.

I think, after a very long time, I'm SLOWLY feeling a tad more comfortable with who I am. Man I hate to jinx this.

Now, as far as everything SC wrote re: what helps him.... well, SC, you don't have DR ... is that correct? Sorry if I always forget. But for me DP AND DR, in combo, 24/7 make things worse. The DR takes away from my enjoying the outdoors.

Also, interesting, when you say, "there must be times when you have no DP" or something like that, I would say re: me, my DP/DR fluctuate. I have a base, "functional" level, which has improved over the years. I know the DP/DR is always there, but the severity increases or decreases. I haven't been IN reality in, I don't remember when.

But I have to admit that in writing about my childhood, I've recently gotten over a hump of sorts, facing some vicious writings my mother left. I'm starting to see how REALLY sick she was. You'd think I'd get it by now, I'm 45. But it takes a helluva long time to face this stuff.

For me, early on in my life, youth/hope/dreams and wanting to get away from my mother kept me functioning. But w/out meds I wouldn't have made it. Then I had some really tough years, up and down, but I think therapy, and just TIME, gaining courage, taking things one step at a time ... all have helped.

Rambling. But, for me, really being distracted by some intellectual activity ... I think that really helps me. My research.

But also, for some reason, I've found more motivation. That's something else. I've been cruising along for several days, perhaps because I've decided that I don't have to do more right now than enjoy things. I have a State Fair to go to on Friday with a girlfriend. Another girlfriend is coming to visit from out of town for a few days. I'm looking forward to just BEING. No WEIGHT on things.

For now, for the past several days, I've been feeling better.

And I'd say the key is indeed distraction, keeping busy.... BUT, there have been days, months, dare I say years when that was not possible.

Why I am doing better right now, this instant, I don't know. I think of some psychological reasons... issues getting settled .... that may be helping.

Maybe, as this board is "starting over", I feel as if I am too, and it's interesting I chose the signature I have. Back to simplicity. Not worrying about great accomplishments or proving I am WORTH something. Maybe I'm starting to believe I deserve to exist -- for years, my mother told me just the opposite. Maybe she is losing some of her grip on me?

Enuf.
Nite,
L,
D :shock: 
Whatever works folks! That's all that matters for each of us.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2004)

Keeping busy! If I keep myself distracted I feel okay.

Getting enough sleep!!!

Setting limits and boundries. Knowing when to say "NO".

Staying away from caffeine

Finding support from others who understand (like here!!!)

Walking and taking in nature

Staying away from negative, even scary things.

Grabbing all the possitive energy. Listening to uplifting music, laughing, hanging with friends that make me feel good, that type of thing.

That's about enough for now. Hope that this can help someone else.

I must add that it's a very good idea to stay away from mind altering substances. Alcohol can seem nice while doing it but can make anxeity and depression in the hangover effect. Marajuana can cause dp/dr in certain people. (It did me)

Carla


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2004)

I am really interested to hear you talk about the cannabis, Carla: this - combined with a pretty stressful time - is what kicked off my DP. I find it pretty ironic that I smoked cannabis to get that slightly 'out of it' feeling and now I have it all the time and it is hellish.  One thing that seems to help me is being around nature. I just wonder whether you tend to focus further away from yourself when you are outdoors and can see more than just four walls :?:


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2004)

Darcy,

Yes! Nature is so cool. Do you happen to feel almost like you are looking through childs eyes when you are out in nature. Like you notice "everything" and take nothing for granted? Just wondering because that is how it felt for me. It was actually really awesome!

I can totally relate to what you said about smoking pot and wanting to alter you mind a bit and now, damn it, you would just like to go back! I am a recovering alcoholic/ drug addict. I have been completely clean for 6 yrs now. I thought I had been through the worst of times untel this thing hit. I found AA to be a huge support for me. I love the sayings like "This Too Shall Pass". Helped me to have hope. I just thought that if I never did drugs again I would have control of my life and my mind. I never thought that your mind could go to such a place without drugs. I guess panic attacks can set it off, too.

Life sure can give us challanges, huh? I will never again judge anyone with mental issues. Nobody would choose to be mental!!!

I'm glad we have this forum to come together for support.

Carla


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## Kerio (Sep 13, 2004)

Certain factors make the DP worse for me, but I've learnt not to avoid them. I think it's the same for most of us. We're all terribly self-conscious, a term which is rather contradictory with respects to our condition, but I think as a byproduct we get hit with DP in crowds, in bright sunlight (i think it has something to do with the 'loudness' of sunlight), loud sounds (incredibly loud, like gunshots close to you), and definitely lack of sleep and stress. There are more factors other than these of course.

This may make the DP Worse, but I've learnt to like taking long walks while letting the DP take over. Since the DP in itself is an 'anti-stress' regulator, by letting my mind ride on it, I can kind of sooth my soul. Unfortunately, this also means instead of seeing leaves and the play of light on the soil, I 'feel' them. It's a rather nice feeling. Also, if you don't have very good subconscious memory, it's entirely possibly you'll end up in another state by the time you snap out of it. I have a good physical memory, so I just walk and let my body lead me home.

Music does wonders, but it seems to me that my DP is level when I listen to it. My DP is around 24/7. For 13 years so far. I've managed pretty well with it, though.

Concentrating on any one thing will help, as will meditation.

I used to play a game where I'd concentrate on a single spot and try not to unfocus. I'd pour everything i had into it. The eyes tend to shift after a few seconds, and it's challenging to kind of 'make yourself be there'. It's hugely difficult, just in case any of you decide to try it.


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## Kerio (Sep 13, 2004)

Certain factors make the DP worse for me, but I've learnt not to avoid them. I think it's the same for most of us. We're all terribly self-conscious, a term which is rather contradictory with respects to our condition, but I think as a byproduct we get hit with DP in crowds, in bright sunlight (i think it has something to do with the 'loudness' of sunlight), loud sounds (incredibly loud, like gunshots close to you), and definitely lack of sleep and stress. There are more factors other than these of course.

This may make the DP Worse, but I've learnt to like taking long walks while letting the DP take over. Since the DP in itself is an 'anti-stress' regulator, by letting my mind ride on it, I can kind of sooth my soul. Unfortunately, this also means instead of seeing leaves and the play of light on the soil, I 'feel' them. It's a rather nice feeling. Also, if you don't have very good subconscious memory, it's entirely possibly you'll end up in another state by the time you snap out of it. I have a good physical memory, so I just walk and let my body lead me home.

Music does wonders, but it seems to me that my DP is level when I listen to it. My DP is around 24/7. For 13 years so far. I've managed pretty well with it, though.

Concentrating on any one thing will help, as will meditation.

I used to play a game where I'd concentrate on a single spot and try not to unfocus. I'd pour everything i had into it. The eyes tend to shift after a few seconds, and it's challenging to kind of 'make yourself be there'. It's hugely difficult, just in case any of you decide to try it.


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## hurricane12 (May 22, 2008)

being distracted definatly helps


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