# My recovery



## Behappy (Dec 4, 2018)

I forgot my old login so had to create a new one
It sounds stupid but I was feeling a bit down one day and then realised I had 'recovered' from dpd. I had it from February to July/August/september ish this year, when I was 17. It was triggered by breaking up with my bf, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. It's hard to say when I didn't have it anymore. The fact that I didn't realise or think about how I'd recovered until months after shows that the most important thing is not thinking about it.

The symptoms I had were mainly:
- Feeling like everything was a dream, dreams were more vivid and better than reality.
- not recognising myself in the mirror, disconnection from my mind and body 
- feeling like I was a robot and words were disconnected, from me, not my own, I had no control of what I was saying, just on autopilot.
- a kinda bad short term memory, part of everything seeming so far away.
- just distance from people and everything in general.
- usually feeling emotionally numb but still able to cry a lot without knowing why I was crying. 
- disconnected from memories and not feeling anything for people I was close to

Some things I think may be useful: 
- Firstly take time to accept your dp and think about what caused it. I had a period of time to reflect over what happened, not just short term but long term, it was important to address and to try and resolve some of these issues so that I could move on and stop ruminating on them.

- For me I had very choppy emotions. I'd feel nothing for a while then just feel sadness for a bit and make myself cry. But don't force anything.

- Staying in reality and not in my own head. Being mentally present in every situation, fully concentrating etc. Also no creating scenarios or fantasies in your head. It helped to stop the feeling of not being in control of my words and feeling like someone else was talking.

- Everyone says about eating well and exercising but I think this did help. Find a sport or activity you enjoy, I liked the gym. It was good because I was thinking about this rather than my dp. Also it felt good seeing the improvement in my strength and physique. The pain of running and working hard also help me feel more like my body was my own but I know some people find gentle exercise better.

- Doing things that make you happy - whatever this may be. Will eventually help you feel more emotions again.

- Get a decent sleep. For me when I was barely sleeping my dreams were more vivid than reality and I was dreaming too much bc of light sleep

- Just keeping busy after the time to reflect and relax. I went back to school after the summer and I was so busy that it Kept my mind off dp to the extent that I didn't even think about it anymore even subconsciously.

- Not isolating yourself. I'm quiet but just spending time with a few friends or family always makes me feel better. Being at school, just little conversations and jokes with acquaintances also cheered me up. Isolating yourself then being upset about it doesn't help because you're going to sit there and feel sorry for yourself and think about your dp.

- Give yourself time, and don't force it. You'll be fine in the end, I know it's hard but believe in yourself.

If I'm honest, things that happened in my dp period seem a bit of a blur. There are some things I'll never get back and I feel like it's a small chunk of my life that I sort of wasted (even though it was only half a year). However I think I did learn a lot about myself, I think part of my dp was that someone made me aware of / highlighted my flaws that I was partly in denial of. I guess I have accepted who I am now. At first you may try a billion thing and nothing works. Keep persisting until it becomes natural and you're no longer thinking about whether your dp is 'cured' yet. Good luck and all the best 
Any questions feel free to ask x


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