# I feel like I'm not even here anymore...



## jaiespoir (Jul 13, 2014)

I've hoped and hoped I would get better or this would go away. I spent some time away from this site because I thought it would help. I've tried medication and therapy and feel like I've done everything eight but this feeling never goes away.

I honestly feel like I am not even a person anymore. I feel like everyday I'm drifting further and further away from who I am or who I was. I keep thinking I'm getting to the point of no return where I will never be who I was before. I honestly just feel like a shell of a person.

Does anyone else feel this way? How can I give myself hope or hold onto it?


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## jaiespoir (Jul 13, 2014)

I've had it since July 2014 so about a year and a half. I'm trying to hold onto hope still because before this I was such a positive and outgoing person. This experience with DPDR has completely changed me and that's what makes me so depressed. I miss my former self.


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## grant4u (Feb 15, 2015)

Hey,

i'd like to answer with a question that sounds not just like a phrase, but i think its in general nothing 'special' to do for cure.

First, i felt the same way! But in order: My DP/DR started and i freaked out (more than after my smoking pot panic attack), and it got worse! Makes sence eh? Then i knew what it was and that its not dangerous. And it got worse! I took a time out, visited a hospital / psychiatry and had the whole day to "recover". But it didnt happen. 4 or 5 in psychiatry where around my age (25) and had mild to mid depression, we had really much fun (no joke!) and 3 of them become kinda friends.

Thats where my DP/DR got really bad. I remember the situation outside and i thought 'people can walk through me' because i felt like i was just not there! I was convinced my brain is fucked up, even with knowing of DP/DR. I thought there must be something else, psychosis or whatever.

A year later, the most symptoms are gone. I would say the DP is gone (can not identify with the DP symptoms i read here) and DR is like 'uhm well, not as 100% as i'm used to look but okay'.

The difference was letting go.

Really. I think your job is to do nothing, but relax! Dont worry, dont ask yourself why you still have DP and what you can do to recover.

I mean really acceptance! Not like 'okay, i accept it and it has to be better then' and ask yourself later why its still there. Really acceptance! Like Its there. Just there. Nothing else, not good not bad just there. And even if you accept, its a really slow process. Maybe it takes me another year for the last step? Maybe 2 or 5 you dont care when you notice that you are making progress, most time 

Best wishes!


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## hopefuluk2 (Aug 20, 2015)

hello grant4u

did you take any medications to get better?



grant4u said:


> Hey,
> 
> i'd like to answer with a question that sounds not just like a phrase, but i think its in general nothing 'special' to do for cure.
> 
> ...


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## Bluey (Oct 28, 2015)

I know how you feel. Hang in there.


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## Cody27 (Jun 4, 2015)

It goes away I promise I've had it twice stop questioning and think to deeply into it , it's really nothing when u eliminate your anxiety your symptoms will go , you will start sleeping better and feeling better !


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## Cody27 (Jun 4, 2015)

Hang in there guys I promise when u find what works for you things will get better it's a slow process take it as a learning process make your self a better person slow everything down and be patient your time will come


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## Ezio (Nov 24, 2015)

Im feeling with you brother


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

I feel the exact same way. I feel so far away from who i once was. Feel like only a shell. It will be a year in January. What a horrible way to spend life


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## grant4u (Feb 15, 2015)

hopefuluk2 said:


> hello grant4u
> 
> did you take any medications to get better?


Hey, in short: No.

I had a few tryouts wich were Cipralex (Escitalopram) on 5, 10 and 15mg for about half a year, Olanzapine (Zyprexa) i think 3mg for about 2 or 3 Months together with Cipralex and also Venlafaxine on 75mg for maybe 7 months.


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