# Derealization caused by Virus infection?



## Skyblue (Jun 16, 2008)

Hello, I'm very surprised that there's even an entire forum devoted to derealization and I'm happy that I found it.  
First of all, I'm 18, male and never took ANY drugs or drunk alcohol or smoked.
I believe that I'm suffering from derealization since 8 weeks ago.

It all started when I came from school, Friday 8 weeks ago, I had a light headache at my backhead and didn't felt really well allover, however I didn't worried about it and continued my daily life. At Saturday my headache turned into into earache, I was happy about that because I thought I just have a ear inflammation.
Well then when I was watching TV this evening the derealization kicked in. I was watching soccer when I felt really strange all of a sudden, it was like everything was a dream, unreal and far away, as if I'm not really there anymore. I thought maybe I'm just tired and went to sleep, however the next morning the feeling was still present and the earache turned into the headache again. Because of that I really had the fear of having a brain tumor. Because everything persisted a took a standard bloodtest at Tuesday which came out fine. A week later my tights started burning and my feet felt numb... 
Extremely worried I visited my doc and told him my symptoms, except the derealization because I feared he would hospitalize me, he said it's most likely a virus infection and my body would take care of it by itself, I just should get many vitamins and come back if it wouldn't get better.

Well I ate alot more vegetables and fruits and the burning tights vanished after two days, so did the headache after a few more days , eventual weeks. In the meantime I had something that felt like kidney pain and a pain near my left nipple which led me to believe I had a deadly heart disease.... the derealization was still present during all this 24/7.

At the peak of it I felt like my existence is fading away, it was not like I was about to blackout, just as if I cease to exist... and I'm threatened by questions like "What is existence?" "What am I doing here in this world?" "What is reality?" "What does it mean to live?"

Well now, 8 weeks after it all started, I'm sitting here and write this, free from any physical symptoms, just the derealization is still present, I think it got better after the initial day but I can't really say it... I'm just happy that I got a part of my natural happiness back, before all this I was a "always happy, no matter what" person, I admit my life is really boring but I always was happy to be alive and encounter new things. The derealization destroyed my lifestyle pretty much, I always have a clouded mind and concentrate how unreal everything is, I lost a great part of fun to be alive. Don't get me wrong I'm not even near suicide, there's too much I want to see and accomplish in this world and I don't want to give up! It's just like my daily life became almost a nuisance because I don't have fun at being alive anymore. When I wake up in the morning I almost scan for signs of derealization, same when I'm at friends for example, I can "overlook" it for a while until my mind almost forcefully reminds me "Hey, don't forget, everything is unreal!^^" Strangely enough it seems the derealization gets slightly weaker at night.
I read that many people who also suffer from derealization want to be alone, it's strangely exact the opposite for me, I have the feeling that it worsens when I'm in my room and sitting infront of my PC, I want to meet my friends, go out and experience something, being at home is a pain for me. Lastly I want to say, after all my physical symptoms vanished, my "fear" found another medium, I feel like my memory worsened lately, I tend to forget what song I was hearing in the radio just a few minutes ago or what happened exactly at the comedy show I watched in the morning. I just hope it's just a side effect and not a serious brain issue, because my mind is generally clouded with thoughts and I can't really concentrate on anything with 100%.

Can all this really be caused by a virus infection? And is there anything I can do to make it vanish faster? I cried 2 weeks ago when I read that some people head it for years, I mean I'm just 18... I don't want to got to a psychiatrist or take meds because I don't really feel ill physically anymore and it's not like the derealization worsens or makes me completely freak out. I just want my normal feeling and happiness for living back!!!

Thanks for any answer in advance! :wink:

Skyblue


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## Guest (Jun 16, 2008)

It is possible. I know a physical illness can make DP/DR worse. But this is also a "stress" on the body that could trigger a disposition. There is a list of drugs, Rx and Rec that can bring on a reaction. Some as simple as an anti-acne med, and also in one woman here from waaay back, a tetanus shot.

In her case, it was shortly before her wedding. She stepped on a nail which was messing up her plans and adding to her stress. She got a tetanus shot and subsequently DP/DR. I don't think her story is on this board, but on an old one. There are archives here, but they are incomplete I think? Also, I don't recall her name.

Lordy, anything is possible. STRESS in many forms can bring on ANXIETY which I believe can bring on DP/DR. And all of that feeds on itself. You sound hypochondriacal as well. Part of a big package you can get with this mess.

At any rate, just a thought. I'm not a doctor.

I only know when I am physically ill -- say with a horrendous flu -- my DP/DR can go through the roof.

I'm not a doctor. And I don't understand the mechanism, but Stress takes MANY forms. I hope that not obsessing about this will help. Also a mild anti-anxiety agent could help.

BUT I AM GOING TO SAY I AM NOT A DOCTOR! I don't have the answers. Don't be afraid to EDIT: SHARE information. A doctor or anyone else needs complete information to make a diagnosis.

I doubt you'll be thrown into the hospital either. It's difficult enough to get into a hospital with a psychiatric problem. You have to be a harm to yourself or others. I don't know where you live. But you can't keep someone for more than 72 hours.

See a doctor, and be frank with the symptoms. Or write the symptoms down BEFORE YOU GO TO A DOCTOR and read them calmly to him/her.

You aren't going crazy.

These days, I am just plain tired. Sorry, just a small vent.
And I am unhappy about the death of Tim Russert (reporter/political pundit, etc.) He was just 58. I'm 49. 58 in my book is YOUNG.

Take Care,
D


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## Guest (Jun 16, 2008)

Ah, you're also 18. A time of change/chaos in your life no matter how well you deal with it.

STRESS is huge at your age, sometimes whether you feel it or not.


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## Skyblue (Jun 16, 2008)

Wow, thanks for the quick answers you two, I finally feel like I'm at the right place, I tried another Forums before but got pretty much ignored.

I don't see any stress I could have, well at least no "active" stress, I just recently got the confirmation that I will get to the 13th grade so no problems in school, no changes in family or friends aswell. 8 weeks ago was like every other week. However maybe I always had a bit of sub-stress... I was never unhappy about my life but I always felt it was repetitive and a bit boring. I couldn't see my friends much either last week, they all go to a school harder then me so they where pretty busy studying, I spend these days mostly at home infront of my PC which I never had problem with. This however leads me to another thing, ever since I go to business school 2 years ago I was pretty unhappy about my school life, my classmates are ok but the lessons and the atmosphere totally suck...

I had much stress the last 8 weeks, but this was caused by the derealization and the other stuff itself... I always had an inner feeling of uneasiness since my symptoms started.
I also was never hypochondriacal before, I got like that because of the "illness" itself because the symptoms were unknown to me, normally I was very easygoing with illnesses since nothing before threated my feeling of being alive.

And about the doc, I didn't completely left out the derealization, I said to him that I have the feeling of dreaming, he said that happens sometimes, but when I said that I still had it 24/7 he started to sound worried and I quickly added "It's ALOT better by now" which was mostly a lie at that time... I consider visiting him again on Friday after school and telling him the full truth this time. I however doubt it will lead to anything, I've read about people with DR in other forums and for all of them, their doc couldn't really help them, who knows I might have luck though.

I'm now at the point where I realized that I probably wont die and that my life is practically like it always was, this helps me to deal with the DR a bit but certainly doesn't defeats it, I'm especially feared that I might have it for years, like I said before.

If there still is something you all might wanna know about me, just ask I will tell you everything... and thanks again for the replies, I finally feel like I'm really not alone which is a nice feeling, if someone still knows something that might be even only remotely helpful for my case, please tell :wink:

Good night for today,

Skyblue


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## Skyblue (Jun 16, 2008)

Sorry for double posting, it's just two things came to my mind.

There was one special thing that happened during the week my DR started, a fun fair was in my town and on a rainy day I bought a HotDog and a so called HellDog, a super spicy HotDog that I threw away after 2 bites because it was too spicy. I know this might sound trivial and maybe even funny but could it be that the food was hygienically not ok and I got some viruses etc. that might have started my DR? I read that some fungi can develop in the gastrointestinal tract that can cause symptoms similar to DR.

Another thing, I know that DR is often caused by stress and I once heard that noises while sleeping can cause stress and I have the habit to leave the radio very quietly on while sleeping.

Do you think that also could be the cause? I don't have the feeling that I sleep bad, however not good either....
Also I know I said this before, but can DR also lead to a worse memory?

Thanks again for answers in advance,

Skyblue


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## Guest (Jun 18, 2008)

I doubt the hotdog contributed much, or listening to the radio, lol. Sorry. If that were so most people in the US would have DP/DR.  This is a serious perceptual distortion. In my theory it is secondary to many anxiety disorders, it accompanies epilepsy and migraines, it can be seen by neurologists in head trauma and stroke and brain tumors.

The brain is very complex.

I think you're overanalyzing this a tad. But then, we all do. Sorry, you remind me of myself ... many years ago. :mrgreen: 
Chill dude or dudette, chill. 8)


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## Skyblue (Jun 16, 2008)

Thanks for the reply Dreamer!

I guess you're right... Right now it isn't even the DR that worries me the most, I'm almost obsessed that my memory worsens, ever since I thought this I almost forcefully try to remember everything. I mean I'm trying to remember every second and every moment of the past days. I'm scared by the thought that I can't remember what happened last Monday afternoon for example, but my days are always very similar and generic so I guess it's normal that I don't remember what happened then because I'm sure I sat infront of my PC a did stuff, I just can't remember what because it's my normal daylife. I still remember special events though.

I also once read that how good you remember something is determined by how strong the emotions where at that moment, DR causes an overall dream feeling so it seems normal that memory worsens.

Another thing that might add up to that, I noticed that I'm focusing far more on my thoughts then on my actual surroundings.

However even now with my headache pretty much gone I still get the fear sometimes that something is horrible wrong with my brain and I really don't want to go to my doctor again since he might think I really have something wrong with my brain and hospitalize me...

I have a bad trauma with being hospitalized and doctors in general since once I had an "accident" in an hospital caused by the personnel which caused great damage to my legs and made me unable to walk properly...

I'm really hoping for a self-healing but I don't know how long I can mentally through this....


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