# Old member: Still recovered 0116188



## ffrozen (Sep 30, 2019)

o/

I'm an old member of this site by another name and I just wanted to spread some positivity.

Childhood trauma, poor coping skills, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, OCD, dp\dr, drug addiction, criminality, suicidal ideation etc plagued me for almost 20 years.

The last 5 years have been very good to me. Inner peace, family with children, great job. I've been transformed into a whole new person.

There were many dark days in which I couldn't have dreamed of a life this good.

I wish the same for everyone here and hope all my old friends are doing well.


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## Broken (Jan 1, 2017)

Thanks for sharing, congrats on your recovery! What specifically helped you turn the corner? Therapy, medication, lifestyle etc Thank you


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## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

How did you manage to get this far? And congratulations. Good job


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## soulsearcher86 (Feb 8, 2017)

in my experience, you don't manage to get anywhere.. you just live your life and slowly push the negative thoughts of "this isn't real" and "i'm not myself" out of your head... they may linger with you but it is a process of changing your thoughts that leads to real freedom


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## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

soulsearcher86 said:


> in my experience, you don't manage to get anywhere.. you just live your life and slowly push the negative thoughts of "this isn't real" and "i'm not myself" out of your head... they may linger with you but it is a process of changing your thoughts that leads to real freedom


I don't have these thoughts, yet I am very depersonalized. Depersonalization are no "thoughts" it's perceptual I feel alien, I SEE differently. I don't think it. It's my reality. It's a sensation not a thought. That's very very different my friend.


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## ffrozen (Sep 30, 2019)

Broken said:


> Thanks for sharing, congrats on your recovery! What specifically helped you turn the corner? Therapy, medication, lifestyle etc Thank you





Aridity said:


> How did you manage to get this far? And congratulations. Good job


Thank you.

It was definitely a combination of things and everyone has their own path they need to find.

Some big factors for me personally were quitting medication (as well as doctors in general) and drugs with the exception of alchohol in mostly responsible amounts. Removing myself from harmful situations\relationships and establishing healthy boundaries in relationships worth maintaining. Coming to terms with what I had been through and how it shaped my personality, and then deciding what I wanted to change about myself after I realized I was in full control of my future. I also put more effort into cooking healthy food (home cooked if not healthy) and exercising. I had been to a variety of therapist and though perhaps I learned some valuable things from them, it wasn't part of my breakthrough.

That's what I did, but it was how I did it that was so challenging. Drug and medication withdrawal was a nightmare. Attempting to get my mother to understand my story/feelings was a battle that I've eventually gave up because I know it's too much for her to understand and it doesn't serve much purpose keeping it front of mind. My father and siblings weren't supportive, but I was a thousand miles away from everyone anyway and I needed to learn to stand on my own. That isn't to say that there weren't many times in which family had a positive impact. In regards to childhood trauma, it was allowing myself to feel the emotions I suppressed and to understand I just didn't possess the skills and I needed to cope at that age and thus I developed some destructive behaviors.

When I became able to truly choose my own direction in life, I felt like myself. I became connected to my past memories and knew what I wanted my future to look like. After I was happy with who had I become and where I was going, I dove into the world of dating and there's been no looking back.


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## leminaseri (Jul 1, 2020)

Aridity said:


> I don't have these thoughts, yet I am very depersonalized. Depersonalization are no "thoughts" it's perceptual I feel alien, I SEE differently. I don't think it. It's my reality. It's a sensation not a thought. That's very very different my friend.


perfectfifth cries all the time through the whole forum „im fucked im fucked im fucked" and his score at cambridge depersonalization score is only 28. you are probably like him.


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## 35467 (Dec 31, 2010)

leminaseri said:


> perfectfifth cries all the time through the whole forum „im fucked im fucked im fucked" and his score at cambridge depersonalization score is only 28. you are probably like him.


As far as I know he has had depersonalization since the age of 6. due to a very violent family. He might have PTSD with the dissociative subtype with such a early outset.


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## leminaseri (Jul 1, 2020)

Mayer-Gross said:


> As far as I know he has had depersonalization since the age of 6. due to a very violent family. He might have PTSD with the dissociative subtype with such a early outset.





PerfectFifth said:


> Total score: 28.
> 
> Pretty much only: "what I see looks 'flat' or 'lifeless', as if I were looking at a picture", "my surroundings feel detached or unreal, as if there were a veil between me and the outside world", and "my favourite activities are no longer enjoyable", though those were all maxed out.
> 
> This is the way it's always been. I have extremely high DR but no DP symptoms of any kind. I feel like I'm 100% myself, but I feel detached from surroundings. The only decidedly DP symptom that I get is "parts of my body feel as if they didn't belong to me" very occasionally.


my score is 102. i would like to be like him. having „only" dr.

to get dpd as diagnosis you need minimum a score of 65. whats 28 bro? childsplay


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