# One year on



## formerniq (Oct 11, 2009)

It has been one year today since I first started to experience derealization. I was in Amsterdam at the time, and fell ill after a regrettable experience with space cakes. After that I believe I suffered from some sort of anxiety disorder and persistant derealization. The next four months were the hardest of my life. I suffered from extreme anxiety, insomnia, occasional panic attacks and started seeing floaters and visual snow (to list just a few things). Worst of all&#8230; I felt strange and 'detached' in a way that is very difficult to describe. I became scared that I would never feel like myself again. All aspects of my life were affected. I struggled to concentrate at work, and eventually I stopped going to work all together.

I am relieved to say that 1 year on, things have improved enormously. It took a long time, but I have now almost completely recovered. I haven't had a panic attack in over 10 months, I sleep well at night, I am back at work and coping well, and everything just feels clear again. Most days I don't even think about derealization. The only symptom that I still experience is eye floaters. Other than that, I feel like I am back to normal.

Recovery was a very gradual process. The first (and probably the most crucial) improvement that I noticed was a reduction in anxiety. The derealization persisted for quite some time after the anxiety had subsided, but a few months later I noticed the first signs that the derealization was lifting. In certain situations I would feel normal again, like when I was swimming or going for a leisurely drive. From there my condition continued to improve slowly but surely. With each passing month I felt better than the last.

When I first became ill I tried almost everything to get better&#8230; I tried all kinds of vitamins, supplements and prescription drugs. I saw doctors, a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I started an intense exercise regime and ate only healthy food. I tried yoga and meditation. I tried everything I could think of. It is hard to say what helped and what didn't. Sometimes I think that just believing that you can recover is half of the battle.

Below I have listed a few of the things that I believe helped me the most to recover. If I were to give any advice to anyone suffering from the same illness, this is what it would be;
1)	Accept your condition. Don't try to fight it, deny it or will it to go away. Acknowledge that there is something wrong, then let it go. There is no point in dwelling on it or over-analyzing. Accept it as a temporary condition and let it be. Try not to monitor your condition too much.
2)	Set small incremental goals that you can work towards achieving each day. These goals should be targeted at getting your life back on track. As a simple example; I started out with the goal of going back to work 1 day a week&#8230; then 2... then 3. Before I knew it I was back at work fulltime. It is important in life to have something to work towards. 
3)	Don't despair when it feels like you have taken a step backwards. Instead, take the time to recognize that you are doing the best you can under very difficult circumstances. Reward yourself. Very few people appreciate how difficult it is to deal with this type of illness. You'll be surprised how much a little bit of mental positive reinforcement helps.

It's all pretty straight-forward stuff. If nothing else, I hope that this post shows others that recovery is possible. Believing that you can recover is half the battle.

I apologize in advance if I do not respond to people's comments/questions. Even now, this is subject that I do not like to dwell on for too long. I just felt compelled to share a little bit of my experience in the hope that it may help others in some small way.


----------



## MatrixGravity (Nov 4, 2009)

Great post! Very inspiring and should give people a good amount of insight on what to do.


----------

