# DP, severe anxiety, panic 15yrs. now I'm only 30



## Little Lady (Nov 14, 2010)

I'm 30, beautiful, funny, a mother of two, and recently got back into the game of "let's play with meds." So here it is... with 15yrs. of DP and all the other things listed above I take between 600 and 700mgs(DOC wants me on 800mgs)of Seroquel XR at night. It has it's plus and minuses. I can sleep and I seem to be closer to my fiance, more accepting. The Lexapro is 20mgs morning and 20mgs around noon. As for Mr. Clonazepam, years on this med and I still can't spell it, sometimes I can take two 0.5mgs. and sometimes I have to travel outside my comfort zone or flip out and I pop between 4mgs-8mgs. Doctor DOES NOT LIKE THAT, don't blame him. And last but certainly not least I just began taking the HIGHEST dose(did not know), 250mgs, of Nuvigil. The goal my doctor has in mind, "fingers crossed" is to get me on 800mgs. of Serquel XR, the Nuvigil, and nix the rest. Maybe I'll have some Clonazepam to hold on to.

Yesterday, I took my first dose of Nuvigil along with 2mgs. of Clonazepam, and yes I know Nuvigil is a stimulant, hence why I took the Clonazepam. I was focussed, calm when I spoke, was patient, motivated, excited, affectionate, and "I had time to...fix, play, sit, and so on". I felt over the moon, minus some anxiety because we went somewhere far for me, popped 2mgs. Clonazepam. A smile barely left my face, and I thought WOW with some tweaking, i.e. lowering Clonazepam or finding something my doctor is comfortable with, this is fantastic, I can be happy with myself and focus on something other than keeping busy or how I feel. I loved, I was at peace in a sense, not perfect still had DP, but I was euphoric! In the back of my mind, I must of known that after all these years euphoria with meds is a sign of having to much or not the right dose, but I didn't want that to be the case. Here we are today, last time I did a forum I was a kid, 18? My heart was beating out of my chest today, my anxiety and overall well being changed, but I was still able to pick up, exercise(you have to on Seroquel) It's been rough and I start my second part time job tomorrow, sigh. Another thing that is happening tomorrow a phone call to the my psychiatrist. Mind you he is very good with meds, he's know for that. That's why I keep on. I'm going to ask him to half the dose to 150mgs of Nuvigil and go from there.

Prayer and support are always welcome. Sharing positive feedback or ideas are great. I know it's been a long one and I appreciate the time you took to read this. But, heck if I'm going to introduce myself, might as well do it right.

Hope your days get better,

Little Lady


----------



## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Little Lady said:


> I'm 30, beautiful, funny, a mother of two, and recently got back into the game of "let's play with meds." So here it is... with 15yrs. of DP and all the other things listed above I take between 600 and 700mgs(DOC wants me on 800mgs)of Seroquel XR at night. It has it's plus and minuses. I can sleep and I seem to be closer to my fiance, more accepting. The Lexapro is 20mgs morning and 20mgs around noon. As for Mr. Clonazepam, years on this med and I still can't spell it, sometimes I can take two 0.5mgs. and sometimes I have to travel outside my comfort zone or flip out and I pop between 4mgs-8mgs. Doctor DOES NOT LIKE THAT, don't blame him. And last but certainly not least I just began taking the HIGHEST dose(did not know), 250mgs, of Nuvigil. The goal my doctor has in mind, "fingers crossed" is to get me on 800mgs. of Serquel XR, the Nuvigil, and nix the rest. Maybe I'll have some Clonazepam to hold on to.
> 
> Yesterday, I took my first dose of Nuvigil along with 2mgs. of Clonazepam, and yes I know Nuvigil is a stimulant, hence why I took the Clonazepam. I was focussed, calm when I spoke, was patient, motivated, excited, affectionate, and "I had time to...fix, play, sit, and so on". I felt over the moon, minus some anxiety because we went somewhere far for me, popped 2mgs. Clonazepam. A smile barely left my face, and I thought WOW with some tweaking, i.e. lowering Clonazepam or finding something my doctor is comfortable with, this is fantastic, I can be happy with myself and focus on something other than keeping busy or how I feel. I loved, I was at peace in a sense, not perfect still had DP, but I was euphoric! In the back of my mind, I must of known that after all these years euphoria with meds is a sign of having to much or not the right dose, but I didn't want that to be the case. Here we are today, last time I did a forum I was a kid, 18? My heart was beating out of my chest today, my anxiety and overall well being changed, but I was still able to pick up, exercise(you have to on Seroquel) It's been rough and I start my second part time job tomorrow, sigh. Another thing that is happening tomorrow a phone call to the my psychiatrist. Mind you he is very good with meds, he's know for that. That's why I keep on. I'm going to ask him to half the dose to 150mgs of Nuvigil and go from there.
> 
> ...


Hey Little Lady,

It sounds like the 250mgs of Nuvigil was too overstimulating for you...probably lowering the dose to 150mgs would be more ideal. I too, was prescribed Nuvigil several months back by my psychiatrist...however, he had told me to break a 150mg tablet in half, so I'd only be taking 75mgs. I found that the 75mgs was not really that effective at ''waking me up'' and when taking a full 150mg tablet, it was slightly more effective, but caused me several side effects, one of which was a mind-splitting headache. Nuvigil is generally considered a weak psychostimulant, but perhaps will prove to be effective in your case. Good luck with everything, and please report back on how you're doing with the 150mgs.


----------



## Little Lady (Nov 14, 2010)

insaticiable said:


> Hey Little Lady,
> 
> It sounds like the 250mgs of Nuvigil was too overstimulating for you...probably lowering the dose to 150mgs would be more ideal. I too, was prescribed Nuvigil several months back by my psychiatrist...however, he had told me to break a 150mg tablet in half, so I'd only be taking 75mgs. I found that the 75mgs was not really that effective at ''waking me up'' and when taking a full 150mg tablet, it was slightly more effective, but caused me several side effects, one of which was a mind-splitting headache. Nuvigil is generally considered a weak psychostimulant, but perhaps will prove to be effective in your case. Good luck with everything, and please report back on how you're doing with the 150mgs.


Thank you for your response, it does help. The following day I called my doctor, who was on emergency leave, and went to my 1st day of my second job, minus the Nuvigil. I didn't want to take any chances. Well it didn't matter, I couldn't wait to leave and I thank God I made it to the end of the day. Later on, I called the doctor's office and he did want me to cut it in half. Then today, I was so scared I cut it into fours, yep, fours. I went to my regular job having taken 75mgs. I can't tell if it's the meds or me anymore. I'm not in a good place. I honestly, lately, don't know how I'm getting by anymore. Boy, that was morbid. I'm just tired.


----------



## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Little Lady said:


> Thank you for your response, it does help. The following day I called my doctor, who was on emergency leave, and went to my 1st day of my second job, minus the Nuvigil. I didn't want to take any chances. Well it didn't matter, I couldn't wait to leave and I thank God I made it to the end of the day. Later on, I called the doctor's office and he did want me to cut it in half. Then today, I was so scared I cut it into fours, yep, fours. I went to my regular job having taken 75mgs. I can't tell if it's the meds or me anymore. I'm not in a good place. I honestly, lately, don't know how I'm getting by anymore. Boy, that was morbid. I'm just tired.


I know how you feel and I'm sorry that you aren't in such a good place right now. It sucks...this thing is really, really hard to deal with, and I truly commend you for being able to hold down two jobs. That takes a lot of courage and strength. Perhaps you could keep taking the 75mgs until you see your doctor, and then discuss things with him in more depth and detail at your next appt. Do you feel as if the Nuvigil, at this low dose is working sufficiently enough to ''wake you up?"


----------



## Little Lady (Nov 14, 2010)

I stopped taking it all together. Maybe I was more focused for a little bit, but with all the panic and severe anxiety lingering in the background, I simply can't. I also think that the Seroquel xr has something to do with this. You see on the Seroquel I'm able to get things done around the house and I feel closer to my fiance instead of a big ball of doubt, which is good. At the same time my anxiety seems to have gotten worse. It's a double edge sword. Keep being more anxious than usual or be motivated and stop thinking so much about "what if" with my fiance? He is a good man and we have a great foundation. Did I mention my doctor is not a fan of Clonazepam, well I am, it's the only thing that helps. When I tried Zoloft the same thing happened, but worse. I was very close to my children, but was tired and had major panic. How do you get through the DP, and continue to live life? My thoughts have been very hopeless lately as well. Not something a 15 year veteran should be saying. Everyone around me either has noticed or is sincerely worried. My doctor's appointment is tomorrow. Thank you for commending me on my 2 jobs. If I could and I know I would qualify for disability I would, but I can't for personal reasons. As for the Nuvigil, it can sit on my counter and be one less med in my purse.


----------

