# Stop avoiding!



## Kpanic (Sep 12, 2010)

One of the main reasons my anxiety and panic disorder has gotten better is I stopped avoiding the things that bother me. I will save you hundreds of dollars on books, Lucinda Basset and whatever else you are going to buy or borrow. The main idea and central theme of any self help/therapy is to face your fears. You can sit there on the couch and freak out about going to Kroger, WalMart, Home Depot or granny's house. I use to be a victim, I use to sit around and whine and be scared to leave my house. My therapist, whose tough love was sometimes more than I could bare told me that you are the only person that can help youself. He called it exposure therapy, I called it hell on earth. I was tired; tired of having DR, tired of hearing all this stuff from everyone else like " Why can't you just shake it off", they had no clue, no idea the hell that I was living with. No one in my family understood why I could not go to the game and out to eat with them. I could not imagine the idea of being in a football stadium with over 100k other people and then go to a crowded place to eat - no way no how. They did not make enough Xanax to get me thru that. Then one day at my therapist he asked me how much longer I was going to be a victim, a victim of myself. I said what do you mean. He said the only way to get out of this is to get out of it by yourself. You do not need a safe person, a pill or me, you need you. You need to be the one you run to when you need someone. That day I decided to not be scared of fear, it was not going to kill me, it actually made me more driven to complete things I had avoided. I started talking back to my fear, something like this: Why do you try and scare me, why do you think you can do this to me? How do I stop you from being in my life, the fear spoke back and said - Don't believe a thing I tell you. Bingo! I hit the jackpot.

I started out slow, going to a small local gas station where I could get in and out if I needed to. I walked in and guess what, it started. Time for the usual panic attack - but I remembered what the fear told me. Do not listen or trust anything I say. My exposure started. I stood in the gas station reading a magazine and let the anxiety go up, and then come right back down. I did it. I was alive, I was breathing and I felt ok. So now I know what my therapist was talking about. I know knew why exposure therapy worked. I was not scared, I could live thru it and I did not listen to it. Next up, Home Depot. Same thing happened. And so on.... as I was told by my therapist. Only I can solve the problem, not him, not my safe person - just ME.

For all of you that are sitting on your couch, at your desk or wherever you are, you can do this, you can beat this. Today is a great time to start, do not put it off another day. Your DP/DR and anxiety just keep getting worse the longer you avoid things. I know it is hard, I was housebound. I know you think I am crazy to even assume that you can do this, but you can. Stop being a victim, and a prisoner of your own mind. Sometimes all it takes is a little tough love. I hope this has helped at least one person today. You can do it, you can get past panic disorder and help your anxiety and your DR/DP. I will even help you if you need it. Send me a message and I will be on the phone with you if it will help you out. Leave your safe person at home, they cannot help you, this time it must be just you.


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## Deleted Account (Jul 26, 2010)

awesome!


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

I wonder if I can get myself to stop being grossed out by meat this way


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## Kpanic (Sep 12, 2010)

babybowrain said:


> I wonder if I can get myself to stop being grossed out by meat this way


Go buy some meat and bring it home and stick your hands in it. It will work!


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

Great post









Avoidance (and procrastination too) makes everything worse. Facing fears has always worked for me. It 's no picnic getting there but it 's worth it when you're finally able to look back and can't quite work out what was so petrifying in the first place.


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## dc138 (Sep 19, 2010)

Good for you Kpanic. I began this process also recently. It's hard, but I look at it like this - I can sit here and be afraid of being afraid and not get better OR go do the things that make me afraid, be afraid but in the process try to begin healing.

You're going to be afraid either way, just one of them has potential benefits!


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

Kpanic said:


> One of the main reasons my anxiety and panic disorder has gotten better is I stopped avoiding the things that bother me. I will save you hundreds of dollars on books, Lucinda Basset and whatever else you are going to buy or borrow. The main idea and central theme of any self help/therapy is to face your fears. You can sit there on the couch and freak out about going to Kroger, WalMart, Home Depot or granny's house. I use to be a victim, I use to sit around and whine and be scared to leave my house. My therapist, whose tough love was sometimes more than I could bare told me that you are the only person that can help youself. He called it exposure therapy, I called it hell on earth. I was tired; tired of having DR, tired of hearing all this stuff from everyone else like " Why can't you just shake it off", they had no clue, no idea the hell that I was living with. No one in my family understood why I could not go to the game and out to eat with them. I could not imagine the idea of being in a football stadium with over 100k other people and then go to a crowded place to eat - no way no how. They did not make enough Xanax to get me thru that. Then one day at my therapist he asked me how much longer I was going to be a victim, a victim of myself. I said what do you mean. He said the only way to get out of this is to get out of it by yourself. You do not need a safe person, a pill or me, you need you. You need to be the one you run to when you need someone. That day I decided to not be scared of fear, it was not going to kill me, it actually made me more driven to complete things I had avoided. I started talking back to my fear, something like this: Why do you try and scare me, why do you think you can do this to me? How do I stop you from being in my life, the fear spoke back and said - Don't believe a thing I tell you. Bingo! I hit the jackpot.
> 
> I started out slow, going to a small local gas station where I could get in and out if I needed to. I walked in and guess what, it started. Time for the usual panic attack - but I remembered what the fear told me. Do not listen or trust anything I say. My exposure started. I stood in the gas station reading a magazine and let the anxiety go up, and then come right back down. I did it. I was alive, I was breathing and I felt ok. So now I know what my therapist was talking about. I know knew why exposure therapy worked. I was not scared, I could live thru it and I did not listen to it. Next up, Home Depot. Same thing happened. And so on.... as I was told by my therapist. Only I can solve the problem, not him, not my safe person - just ME.
> 
> For all of you that are sitting on your couch, at your desk or wherever you are, you can do this, you can beat this. Today is a great time to start, do not put it off another day. Your DP/DR and anxiety just keep getting worse the longer you avoid things. I know it is hard, I was housebound. I know you think I am crazy to even assume that you can do this, but you can. Stop being a victim, and a prisoner of your own mind. Sometimes all it takes is a little tough love. I hope this has helped at least one person today. You can do it, you can get past panic disorder and help your anxiety and your DR/DP. I will even help you if you need it. Send me a message and I will be on the phone with you if it will help you out. Leave your safe person at home, they cannot help you, this time it must be just you.


 I have suffered with panic attacks and severe anxiety from the same things you mention, and avoiding situations, but with medication my anxiety and panic attacks went away.. Then last year I started to suffer from Dp/Dr, I do not avoid things or situations and really have no fear but the Dp/Dr is always there.
. I do believe this is good advice.. but i think it's aimed more towards anxiety and panic attacks then to people with dp disorder...


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## Kpanic (Sep 12, 2010)

opie37060 said:


> I have suffered with panic attacks and severe anxiety from the same things you mention, and avoiding situations, but with medication my anxiety and panic attacks went away.. Then last year I started to suffer from Dp/Dr, I do not avoid things or situations and really have no fear but the Dp/Dr is always there.
> . I do believe this is good advice.. but i think it's aimed more towards anxiety and panic attacks then to people with dp disorder...


opie

My DR was brought on by anxiety disorder with panic. Most people think that DR/DP is brought on by anxiety - I understand some other issues can cause DR/DR as well. But for the most part, the post was made for people that suffer from DR/DP brought on by anxiety.


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## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

I just wanted to let you know that you really inspired me. I loved reading that. That's what I'm trying to make myself do too. Just go out more and do things that I normally did before this DR hit me. It's very hard but it's about coping right?


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## Kpanic (Sep 12, 2010)

Melissa_Z said:


> I just wanted to let you know that you really inspired me. I loved reading that. That's what I'm trying to make myself do too. Just go out more and do things that I normally did before this DR hit me. It's very hard but it's about coping right?


Coping yes.. To an extent. To be honest with you, I was tired of feeling tired and beat down with DR. It got to a point where I would drink gas out of the can if it would have helped. The day at the therapist I told him I cannot take one more day of this. I just simply do not want to go on like this. He looked at me and said when are you going to stop playing the victim? I wanted to punch him. He told me to stop thinking about DR all the time and get out and live. It's some coping yes, but is more bravery than anything else. Be brave, if you have gotten this thru anxiety with panic then the worst thing you can do is keep avoiding; avoiding whatever the hell it is you are avoiding. For me, it was the interstate (where I had a bad panic attack). It took me three months to go back to that same spot where I had the attack, I never imagined that I could have done that before. I did it, I pulled over on the side of the interstate where the attack happened (this is when my DR started) and sat there for about 15 minutes. My goal was to prove to myself that I was not scared anymore, the fear had fizzled out. Fear does not control me anymore, my DR is getting better day by day and I think it was totally because of the fact I faced my fear. Bottom line is this: be brave, you are the person you run to, face anything and everything that scares you. Never ever run again. Good luck!


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