# Stockholm syndrome



## GroupHug (Jul 6, 2012)

From wikipedia:



> *Stockholm syndrome*, or *capture-bonding*, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness....
> 
> Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of *traumatic bonding*, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes "strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other."


Have you ever bonded with someone who bullied you?

Maybe as a child did you become a "friend" with a bully and try to diffuse hostile situations with him/her? Were your parents emotionally manipulative, malicious and controlling? Were you ever in an abusive relationship?

What happened? How did you handle these situations, and what/how do you feel about them now?


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## LittleGreenFrog* (Jan 19, 2014)

Growing up I lived with my grandma and aunt on/off (more so on) most of my childhood. They were very manipulative and mentally abusive towards me, yet I was closer to them then anyone in my family & i believed they were the only ones who truly loved me & I loved them in return. they made me turn on all of my family, and had me believe they were the only ones who had my best interest at heart. Even though I knew in MY heart it was complete Bull****, the bond was unbreakable. This was more towards my aunt....she was so intimidating and scary, 
that I was submissive towards her like a dog is to an owner(pretty much sums up the relationship) I was introduced to drugs, sex, abuse, suicide attempts (her harming herself) early on in life...because of her. Yet, I was thankful..because she had me believe it was just all "learning experiences" and I always felt bad for her...she was bipolar, schizophrenic, did every drug imaginable, no career, husbandless, my cousin, the only child she ever had left her (besides all the ones she aborted) and the list goes on and on...I felt like I needed to be there for her...because even though she mentally abused me..put me in messed up situations...exposed me to things a child should never see...I felt like I needed to fill that void for her, even defend her...as messed up as it sounds..as much as they really abused me...they also cared about me in a twisted way too. They were the only ones who cared about my school, my clothes/makeup(even if it was shoplifted) even my well being at times. I know, confuseing. I dont completely understand it myself.Anyways, after my aunt went to prison...my life fell apart. I didnt know what to do. I felt like I had no one. I had my grandma but she was old and deteriorating. It was just me and her...my aunt was the glue and without her we were coming un done. All are money went to her in prison. My grandma lashed out at me, didnt take care of ...just a very toxic relationship..my aunt was are world, without her we just didnt know how to survive. My school fell apart, and I moved from house to house eventually dropping out when I was 16. My mom was involved at this point. We both lived with my grandma together...I had alot of resentment towards her because I didnt like the attention she got from my grandma because growing up I was to belive my mom was a bad person, she didnt care about me and so on...so for her to be in the picture drove me absolutely crazy. I felt betrayed. I also didnt understand after the way they treated my mom she wanted to be around...they used her for her money...kept me out of her life..tried to ruin her career.exc..just didnt understand..I also belive my mom has this syndrome too.yeah..I know,ridiculous, but if you only knew these people. Well long, LONG story short(alot goes into it all) me and my mom decided to live together. (Another VERY long story short) - thats when I got DP/DR. And have suffered with it for two years now. I wont even start to explain now what has happened in this time frame :/ but I can say my aunt got out of prison recently and started the same game. Took me in..filled my head with lies...manipulated things..made me choose over family..(I fell for It as I always did) but I had enough...that time apart even though sad for me, was a big wake up call and this last time I really seen just how much she didnt care about me but just wanted to make me as miserable as she is...so I left..and haven't looked back. Yes, Ive had alot of back lash. She tried to ruin my life in every way imaginable. Before I probably would have thougt in a sick way it was because she just loved me, but not anymore. Im trying to change my life and the people I surround my self with. Its been a very slow recovery,and still have the times of sadness when I think of what they have done to me and my family...and to think that they are the ones who practically raised me but hate me and dont show any remorse for anything. Their gone just like that. And even though its exhilarating, it leaves me with great deal of sadness. So on top of recovering from that I have DP/DR to deal with,which is a battle all in its self...but its getting there. Im moving soon, I just need a new start, new perspective, new people. Leave this all behind me. Take one day at a time. I would love some therapy sessions to better understand what I went through but sadly cant afford it, so im just trying to work on myself and surround myself with happiness..and people who genuinely love me. I know its not going to be easy. Its going to take time to start trusting people again, but I have faith that oneday I can love with no hold backs, and even though all of this has taken me to my knees, its made me stronger and shown me what real love should be like and my self worth. Because im worth a hell of a lot better then that, and I know this now.


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## LittleGreenFrog* (Jan 19, 2014)

Sorry about the long ramble & bad grammar. Felt good to let some of it out though. Thanks for posting this topic, have a blessed day


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## Guest (Jan 23, 2014)

Stockholm Syndrome is like a desperate attempt to change the outcome of what appears to be a hopeless situation.

It's perfectly understandable if you've been in that situation, whether it's befriending a bully or someone who's holding you captive. The capacity of the human mind to outsmart is awesome. I mean, how could you befriend someone who just tortured you? But it happens&#8230;&#8230;

HH


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