# I'm Useless.



## Hero (Sep 11, 2013)

I feel really useless. It's making me extremely angry at myself all the time. I don't do anything useful in my life to anyone. I live with my mom but I don't help her with anything that much. I'm just always too depressed to help.. She tells me all the time about things I could have done to help her, which makes me feel angry at myself and feel like a horrible person even more. When someone (online) tells me about a problem they are having I really want to help them. But sometimes when I try to think of something to say I feel something strange in my chest, like I'm suffering. Most of the time I guess I end up not saying anything helpful at all.

I used to have a close friend online some years ago. She was the closest person to me at that time. We both used to talk to each other about our problems. I used to try to help her all the time and never got bored even when I had to repeat what I say to her a lot. Sometimes I even felt like I was her professional since she didn't visit any. I believe I was helpful because she used to call me "Angel". (I lost her though and I still blame myself for it to this day&#8230 What happened to me? Why did I change? Why can't I be the same like I used to be before?

I have only one person who is close to me in this world. We talk online. He listens to me all the time when I talk about my problems and tries to help me. I appreciate that he talks to me and I really wish I could do the same with him. I keep telling myself all the time that I'm just a pain to him and I should leave him alone.. I tried to draw a picture of him cause maybe, just maybe, if I showed it to him it would make him a bit happy and I would feel proud of myself, but even in that I failed. The picture doesn't look as good as I wanted it to look like. I guess I'm just a failure in everything I try to do.

Lately, most of the time, Nothing has been passing through my mind but the words "I want to die." I feel like starting to hurt myself again but I'm trying to prevent myself from doing it because the person I mentioned above tells me not to do it.. I see no point in me being alive. I hate myself more than anything to the way I consider myself nothing more than dirt or rubbish.

I'm very sorry for this negativity, please forgive me. I'm even sure I will keep blaming myself for posting something that negative after I post it.

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate that. Have a great day.


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## seafoamwaves (Sep 20, 2013)

It's the perfectionism. I don't think none of us truly thinks we're worthless, its just that we expect ourselves to be Superman


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2013)

yea i have to agree with seafoamwaves....like you want to pull more out of yourself but when your depressed its hard to do that when you are suffering....the biggest thing you need to do is work is your depression.....

I would try omega 3 and vitamin b12 they are known to work wonders on your mood....try and surround yourself with understanding people that you can leen on and can help you...like friends and family

remember that life is the most precious gift you can have and no matter how bad it gets just keep your head up and dont give up! im sure there are plenty of people that love you and want to see you smile again


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