# Open communication



## dookiE (Jun 16, 2019)

Hi all,

i recently discovered the power of open communcation about our emotions and feelings. As our feelings and emotions were not allowed to be there as a kid we surpressed them in our body. If we now make new experiences and realise that our feelings are allowed to be there, then we make a new experience. Even if we start with the feeling: "I am feeling like I am not here". If this is being heard by another person, then there is a connection which was not possible in our childhood. The other person needs to allow us a room, then something new can come up in us. Otherwise we are in a constant loop of the same feelings.

Another loop is that we believe to solve this by ourselves, as we learned to do everything by ourselves. At least this is the case for me!

Personally, I believe this guy is amaizing.






For me DP is a result of a severe attachement trauma in our childhood.

Take care and wish you all the best,

Till


----------



## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Unfortunately Trauma processing is not an option for some....But for others it works very well...

Sometimes extreme Trauma is best left behind because it can actually do more damage than good reliving it over and over...

Forgetting the pain of Trauma can be just as powerful as Reliving it to Desensitize...IMHO...

Some people just dont have the ability to relive Trauma and process it....It can actually make them worse...

But for those who can thats awesome because that is a good route to recovery...


----------



## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

I do also believe that talking with another person who understands whats going on and who is patient and considerate and has your back is essential in getting better...You will NOT recover from this alone and in isolation....We need to voice it and have good people around us constantly when recovering..

Ive said it many times on here...The pull your socks up brigade do much more harm than good...They leave us feeling even more isolated,alone and hopeless..

Avoid them at all costs is my advice and stick with people who actually give a shit about you and who know you are not well and who want to have your back when you need them...


----------



## dookiE (Jun 16, 2019)

good points Eddy. It is not about going deep into the trauma, but rather building up a containment for emotions to be there. Based on that we are more able to feel emotions again and feel more connected. With time and more connection different layers of emotions will come to surface, but specially at the beginning it is only working on the surface and being able to hold and regulate little emotions.

I also believe that we do not need to go into our past, as our past always comes up in the present moment. We relieve our past, until we heal. So we heal with the feelings and emotions that occur in the present moment.


----------



## dookiE (Jun 16, 2019)

And Eddy I agree with you. I am not able to have any contact with my family at the moment, as too much trauma material and emotions comes up, that result in further disconnection from myself. But I hope that with time I will be able to cope with the emotions coming up and stay in connection. This seems to be a slow process with my therapist.


----------



## ReiTheySay (Aug 5, 2016)

> "I am feeling like I am not here".


Saying this out loud to someone amplifies it for me (I've tried it endless times and ended up feeling invisible) No one usually gets it, which makes it so much worse.

But I agree, if you do have someone who is understanding enough, communicate your thoughts out loud.

Sometimes when the person is supportive enough, it doesn't matter sometimes if they seem to understand or not. Being aware of the importance of communication is a good sign in recovery.

Wish you best in your recovery


----------

