# Make yourself crazy?



## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

Ok, this is probably a stupid question, and I realize it's probably NOT possible, but is it possible to make yourself go crazy by thinking about a really scary thought or something you can't figure out for too long. I know the phrase "I'm making myself crazy with this math problem" or whatever, but can you make yourself litterally insane? I had a good day yesterday and today until i had to go to work, that place is like poision for me. I got the thought that freaks me out almost more than anything, which is how am I thinking thoughts...and distraction is hard when I"m thinking these thoughts, because the thoughts themselves are problematic. It's like "how do i form thoughts, when I am forming them, where do they come from? How can i form them while thinking them." It's like I picture them coming from some well into my head, but i'm the one creating them. I dunno it's hard as crap to describe it, but it's really really freaky. Does anyone understand this? Is good old focusing outward the way to go, just distract myself from it? It's maddening sometimes. Sigh...first day of classes tomorrow, and the psychiatrist, so hope that will help. Thanks for listening to my rant.


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## M A R S (Jun 24, 2005)

i think its 100% possible


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

You can think yourself into utter despair and misery, and there's no limit to how awful that can get, but as a general rule, if you are thinking that you may be going mad, you're not. You can't will yourself to go mad, which is effectively what you are doing - some perverse test to see how far you can push your mind. But it won't send you mad.


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

Nope. You can't "think" yourself insane no matter hard you try.


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## Scattered (Mar 8, 2005)

I dont understand why you cant think yourself insane. If I was to lock myself in my room and focus my thoughts on the most bizzare and horrible notions eventually leading to disorganized thoughts, coupled with intense and constant anxiety and despair, I would imagine that at some point I would crack. I mean everyone has a "breaking point" right? the point at which the internal and external stressors are so great that you can no longer function. I would also imagine that it would not be impossible for a breakdown of reality to occur along with a breakdown in normal functioning.

The same way an extreme condition such as war can damage people to the point of insanity, a situation perceived to be as extreme as the aformentioned example might also have the same effect. Why wouldn't it?


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

Then why haven't you auto-suggested yourself out of DP? If you think you could auto-suggest yourself into no longer perceiving what you perceive right now, why haven't you healed yourself? I don't mean to be rude, but I'm trying to get at the question of how much control we really have over our minds.


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## Lilymoonchild (Jun 18, 2005)

I would say based on the number of mathmeticians and physicists who have committed suicide, it is entirely possible to drive yourself mad with thoughts. I have a friend who is a mathmetician, and I am watching him drive himself mad, and it frightens me.....


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

It is totally possible to drive yourself to suicidal thoughts, but that still doesn't make you mad, if we are talking about dictionary description of insanity, ie psychosis. I have driven myself to hell and back before, sure.
But you can't will yourself to see/hear things that aren't there, or believe in delusions. You can try, and you can scare yourself, but as long as you feel as though you causing it, you aren't. If you stopped for a second in your train of thought, and thought about something else, would the feeling of madness still be there?

People who are psychotic don't ponder over whether they are mad or not because as far as they are concerned, what they experience is reality.

I have often thought 'this is it, I'm over the edge, I'm going to start seeing things.....now!' and that moment never comes. If you see it coming, it ain't


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## Scattered (Mar 8, 2005)

I think I can auto suggest myself out of DP. I choose not to because DP serves a purpose even when it seems as if it is killing me.

I don't think you can "will" yourself to see or hear things. I think you can will yourself into an unstable state of mind. At some point in time I believe there may be a crossing over point where you are no longer concerned with forcing yourself crazy because you are crazy. Basically I think that if one were to maintain a neurotically unstable state of mind for long enough you would become crazy, not because of your "will" to be, but because of the unhealthy conditions you have created for yourself that have driven you to that point.

But I see the other side also. It may be that it doesn't really make a difference, thoughts can make us unstable, terrified, and unhealthy. It doesn't really matter if you make the trip to psychosis because extreme damage is already being done in you're present state. Psychosis may be on a different plane of the mind, inaccessible to the severely neurotic, but severe neurosis can be just as bad if it leads to suicide or physical disease.


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

Well this is all very uplifting, isn't it? :?

I suppose it is possible to drive yourself insane or as good as inane if you lock yourself in a room for days, if you don't sleep for extended periods of time, or perhaps if you experienced something traumatic for a great length of time.

You might not be seeing or hearing things that aren't there, but I guess that's not really an important distinction. In the archive footage taken after WW1, for instance, there's a man who sits motionless - saying nothing, with no expression, just staring blankly - until the Doctor says "bomb", at which point the man panics intensely and hides under his bed in fear. Such a condition might not be psychosis in its normal form, but is probably in practice just as unberable and debilitating.

So I can see where the pessimists are coming from. But, the question has to be asked, will any of these events that are enough to "break" someone really happen to any of us? Will we fight in a war so traumatic as WW1? Will we lock ourselves in darkened rooms for days? Decide not to sleep for weeks?

I think the answer has to be "no".

That's why it's really not a question worth losing sleep over, or worrying yourself about. Hypothetically you might be able to drive yourself over the edge; but in reality it's simply not going to happen to you.

MonkeyD


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I agree, it's almost irrelevant to how painful the feeling is, whether it is 'mad' or not
infact to be mad and unaware sounds less painful, though I hesitate to say that for sure since it must be awful in every other way


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

> I think I can auto suggest myself out of DP. I choose not to because DP serves a purpose even when it seems as if it is killing me.


This is startling to me. I had thought most people here felt they had no control over it.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

its the constant controlling that keeps us in it, the way out is to let go, so in effect, we have control, but not in the way we think


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## Crumbles (Aug 19, 2004)

I once heard that a music composer went insane because he couldn't get the tone of A out of his head. Now weather of not that's an urban legend who knows. Also, who knows if he was crazy before that.

I once asked my doctor: "Am I going crazy?" He immidately replied with: "No."

I asked him how he could answer that so fast and he told me crazy people think other people are crazy. If you think you're crazy, you're not.


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## blackwinded (Jul 31, 2005)

well, first of all...it depends on what you mean by crazy. If you mean psychotic, i often feel like i have drivin myself to having hallucinations and delusions. Then again, when i think about it, i know that is not true, because i have been having hallucinations ever sinc i was about 3 or 4, and i wasn't even thinking about it then. But since i already do have hallucinations and delusions, it seems that i feed into it a lot my constantly thinking about them and believing them. but i guess that's just par of psychosis. technically though, i don't concider myself 'psychotic', or, at least, i have a different meaning for the word than most people do. I don't see myself as being "crazy" , to me, it's just that the rest of the world is oblivious and i see, hear, know, sense, and feel things that most people can't. ...am i making any sense?. i feel like i'm not.

but, if you mean....can someone willingly drive themselves into being suicidal, or manic, or thrashing around with anger or fear...I think it's very possible. Just about anyone who were locked up in a tiny, dark, cold room for months and months with no human contact, wold become extreamly depressed, suicidal, fearful and angry. So, if you were to lock yourself up in a little tiny dark room, then you would probably become just as "crazy" as if someone else did it to you.

-becka


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## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

Ok, seeing how I posted this, I thought I might reply to everyone, with what I've often wondered "why would I WANT to try and make myself crazy. " I think it goes back to the idea of focusing outward. Someone mentioned physicists and mathmeticians who have gone mad...but I would guess these people never really stepped back and thought "who cares?" every once in a while. As Janine has said, we are so sure that we can find the answers to things within ourselves when we can't, that we get stuck on that and we think it is going to consume us, and then it does consume us. But we DO have a choice, and a chance, and we need to realize that and grab hold of it, and focus outward and start to enjoy our lives more. I think part of my problem, as I'm realizing, is that I dont' allow myself to have fun. When I do, i self analyze, and think "fun isn't for you," but fun IS for me, and it's ok to have fun, and laugh, and be silly, and be 'crazy' in another sense of the word, the good sense. I'm just starting to learn that it's ok to have fun, and be silly, and laugh at myself and others and all of that good stuff. I am a firm believer that laugther is the best medicine, because when I do laugh, I always feel better. For me, I have long been trapped as a teenager trying to make sure everything was perfect in my family's relations with each other, and I have had a hard time getting over the fact that I can have problems, but that I also can laugh and have fun and not worry about what others are doing and how it is affecting others (i think if you are laughing and feeilng good, ti will always be positive on others, as long as you are not laughing AT someone). Just a few thoughts.


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