# I thought I was a freak!



## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

Hi,

I've have symptoms since I was a child. I also am bipolar, and have ADD and depression. I just recently discovered that there was an actual term to describe my "spaced out" feeling. My relief turned to dissappointment when I realized it can't be treated with meds.

I don't like taking meds, but I've come to realize that they definitely have an effect, and improve the quality of my life. There is alot of chaos in my life right now - so I'm almost in a constant state of depersonalization.

It's so frustrating - I feel like I can't fully enjoy doing things with my daughters, because half of the time I'm trying to shake of my "fishbowl head"

Waaaah! I don't like it, and I want it to go away!


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## Guest (Feb 9, 2008)

Hello Songbird. Welcome to the board =).


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> Hello Songbird. Welcome to the board =).


Thank you! 8)


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2008)

Can't be treated with meds?

(You're welcome =) )


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

[quote name="Emulated Puppet}eer"]Can't be treated with meds?

am I wrong??? I do take meds for BP and depression (cymbalta & lamictal) Is there something being used that I should ask about?


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2008)

No... you're not "Wrong"... you're mistaken due to lack of info. Well you're on Lamictal like me... so that's a winner... Is cymbalta a anti-depressant? Because I'm also on flouxetine which is reccomended to help the Lamictal due to it being an AD.... although the main drug i'm on which works is called Clonazepam (Rivotril) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clonazepam

=)


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> No... you're not "Wrong"... you're mistaken due to lack of info. Well you're on Lamictal like me... so that's a winner... Is cymbalta a anti-depressant? Because I'm also on flouxetine which is reccomended to help the Lamictal due to it being an AD.... although the main drug i'm on which works is called Clonazepam (Rivotril) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clonazepam
> 
> =)


My brother takes clonazepam for anxiety. He won't go to a psych, his primary doc gives his an rx for his "mental meds"(as he calls them). He's never had a psych eval. But anyway - that's a long story.

I thought clonazepam was used as needed per "episode". I've also seen people talk about it on a bipolar board saying they couldn't keep too much on hand because it can be used to intentionally OD. I looked at the wikopedia link - (thanks). It mentions that it can be used for restless leg syndrome, which is one of my other issues(If I was a horse, they'd shoot me!)

Do you take it on a reg basis, or only when you are having symptoms? I presently have symptoms pretty much all the time.

I'm also trying to find a new psych, but I'll probably have to go to the old one again, because I'm running out of meds.


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2008)

Perhaps it would lower your bro?s self esteem if he agreed he needed to see a psych? So he?s in denial about it for the time being... although that?s just a guess.

I take 1mg each day... and it?s a total winner, I felt even more real today... it just keeps on getting better and better =). Just go with trial and error and see if it helps please =).

Yes I had chronic DR/DP and brain fog... I assumed it was normality because it was the only way I saw myself and the world. 
I take it you have to pay for meds? 
Keep talking please =).


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

My brother can't afford to go see anyone. I've done tons of legwork looking for organiztions that can offer him help, but he never follows up. He constantly complains, but never is willing to take any initiative to help himself. He recently moved to a new state and feels like there is light at the end of the tunnel for a change - I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I care about him - but i have enough of my own issues to deal with , without taking on his too!

I do have to pay for meds - and worse yet - I am supposed to get them through a mail order company. It was to the point that every time I dealt with them on the phone I would end up hysterical - or just hang up. My daughters both have asthma. At one point we were spending about $1000 every three mos (out of pocket!) on meds. I cut down on me daughters preventative meds - and pared down my meds to a minimum(I also have ADD - Concerta was helping quite a bit - but I can't afford it anymore).

I have been getting my concerta and lamictal for free for a few months from my therapists office. He doesn't prscribe meds - but the psych in his office has tons of samples. They have been preventing me having a complete mental break down from dealing with MEDCO.

I will ask about the clonazepam. If I could get by on the lamictal, and cymbalta - along with clonazepam, I would be a happy girl! If I knew that was going to be my "recipe" for a sustantial amount of time, I wouldn't be so anxiety ridden about dealing with the prescription co. They make you order 3 mos at a time.

Thanks for all your advice


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

I realize I said I was getting my concerta and lamictal for free - but I meant cymbalta and lamictal
They don't have samples of concerta because its a controlled substance.


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

Sounds like a damn hard time you're having, and will have in the future. Although it doesn't have to be long-term in the future =). Have you looked into Clonazepam futher more yet?


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

I'm in the process of getting a new psychiatrist. I'm writing down all the things I want to ask about. The clonazepam is near the top of the list! I just hope the new doc is "the one". I don't have unrealistic expectations of doctors - I've worked for them for 20 yrs. I just haven't had much luck finding a psychiatrist and therapist that I can relate to. I love my primary doc, and my GYN, and my dentist(he loves me too - my mouth is a goldmine, or should I say amalgam mine!).


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

Gold to hear it =). When I see my doc... if I feel too overwhelmed to talk, I simply type what I want to say and print it off... my two docs don't seem to mind =).Worked for them for 20 years, doing what if you don't mind me asking? (You might have already told me, or say it esle where, althoght my memory sucks =S).


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

I worked in Radiology, and MRI, and in a few group practices. The last job was for a reproductive endocrinologist for 10 years(before I stopped working to be a stay at home mom) I occaisionally temp in a psych's office for a friend when she goes on vacation. Oh, all of the above as a medical secretary.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2008)

Sounds like a winner =). Did you ever get round to having a brain scan/eeg etc?


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## songbird (Feb 5, 2008)

I've had MRI of my head, but for other things, TMJ, and a possible parotid gland mass. The good thing is - I do have a brain


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2008)

It's always a bonus to know you have a brain isn't it =).


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