# Limbic Resonance



## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

My DP started with an emotionally upsetting "bad trip" with cannabis--an unpleasant setting with abusive people present while high. My understanding is that THC receptors are abundant in the limbic system of the brain which controls our emotions, so with a bad trip my limbic system was stimulated and then a bad and powerful memory was saved into my memory bank as a "big file." What this has do to with limbic resonance, the title of this thread, is that I just got done reading a book by three Psychiatrists called, A General Theory of Love, and these docs explain why the limbic system (the seat of emotions) is so important to the survival of mammals and how important it is to protect our emotions from abuse by others. The unpleasant setting I experienced while high on cannabis was the fear of having to go home high and my abusive father finding out and literally beating me to death for this "sin." So, I created a huge traumatic limbic (emotional) memory and now am oversensitive to even the slightest slight from other people. But, it really has to do with other people who trample on my emotions and devalue me through their selfish comments of abuse or behavior, and I believe all people are affected negatively by negative people--at least giving someone a few bummer moments or hours of the day, or years or a lifetime. On page 63 of this book, these docs write: " A mammal (us) can detect the internal state of another mammal and adjust its own physiology to match the situation--a change in turn sensed by the other, who likewise adjusts. . . . (Next paragraph.) Within the effulgence of their new [more than reptilian] brain, mammals developed a capacity we call limbic resonance--a symphony of mutual exchange and internal adaptation whereby two mammals become attuned to each other's inner states. It is limbic resonance that makes looking into the face of another emotionally responsive creature a mult-layered experience. Instead of seeing a pair of eyes as two bespeckled buttons, when we look into the ocular portals to a limbic brain our vision goes deep: the sensations multiply, just as two mirrors placed in opposition create a shimmering ricochet of reflections whose depths recede into infinity. Eye contact, although it occurs over a gap of yards in not a metaphor. When we meet the gaze of another, two nervous systems achieve a palpable and intimate apposition." This book is awesome. It has been a life-changer for me. I must protect my emotions from my own thoughts and from the emotional tear-down that so many other people want to perpetrate on me either intentionally or mindlessly. It's a survival instinct that we dissociate or panic and become anxious. Our emotions are relaying to our conscious brain that there is a threat in our vicinity and we need to take note of someone who is trying to kill our sense of well-being and pleasure in the world. I have days when I feel calm and connected (when no one is abusing me) and other days when I am very anxious, confused and dp'd (when someone is messing with me.) I now know that my DP is emotionally-based, and when I can clear up the problem I am having with my and another person's limbic brain (emotions), then I feel more connected and less anxious. I must let the other person who has literally hurt me, either intentionally or unknowingly, that they need to stop their devaluing behavior and make them aware of their bad behavior or speech. I understand that it is critical to my survivial as a human being to be treated with respect by other people. Our emotions really matter. A friend of mine recently hung himself to death to end his life because his own wife abused him emotionally--limbic dissonance between them. It opened my eyes to how serious emotionality is and how we treat each other. I know I feel suicidal when someone devalues me because of the past abuse imprinting from my parents, and the traumatic memory I created from the bad incident with the pot all those years ago that created such a powerful negative, connected memory association with my abusive father. It's hard to "shake off" bad comments from others that affect me or talk to myself rationally, because my limbic brain can't really be talked to, just soothed as emotions need, like a baby wants--just love. I know that to think your way out of the pain doesn't work. I will now only surround myself with people who value others and me and in whom I feel a safe limbic connection. I want to live, and I couldn't figure out how to get myself free from DP. This is really the key I have discovered to MY recovery. This all may not make much sense, but I am trying to share what I found is now working for me, and which worked before to lessen my pain, but I never knew it. It's like I have a broken arm, and I must protect my arm from being hit again, so I will need to protect myself more. I pray that this information does help to heal any of you who are suffering from DP/anxiety. I feel your pain.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

That is so awesome! I realized these concepts, though not from the same angle, when I was attending an abuse recovery class at my church. It was more of a concept of setting boundaries with other people and you have the right to tell people how you will and will not be treated. Like standing up for yourself and refusing to allow people to abuse you. I've had to use these boundaries with abusive family members and now have no communication with some of them but I've noticed that I am calmer, happier, more peaceful without them in my life. I think it's so critical for everyone to understand this concept, that we are sensitive, delicate, beautiful, and valuable people who do not have to put up with being abused in any manner just because someone is a relative, a friend, or even a stranger. We can set boundaries, like brick walls, that can keep those people away from us and unable to harm us and it's healthy and ok to do that. I know that my family of origin (mother, father, siblings) taught me growing up that family is the most important thing and that you stick together, no matter how someone treats you. And I ended up with dp. Coincidence? I think so. Because I felt like I HAD to have these abusive people in my life simply because they were my father or my sister and it's wrong and shameful and even hateful to turn your back on your family. But guess what, a family member is supposed to love you, honor you, respect you unconditionally. Verbally, emotionally, physically abusing you is disrespecting you on the deepest level. This person has no love, honor, or respect for you. To me, that makes them not family anymore. So my current family consists only of people, either family of origin, friends, whatever, that have proven to me to genuinely care about me and love me in a healthy way. The rest exist outside of the brick boundaries I've set up against them and stood by. If they try to destroy the walls I build I just fortify them again by telling them that they WILL NOT treat me like that and if they can't figure out how to interact with me in a healthy manner then they aren't allowed in my life. And that has made all of the difference.


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## cosmikenergy (Oct 12, 2011)

I completely agree and relate to everything you write about boundaries and emotional responses. I certainly feel better when I gather the courage to establish boundaries against those who seek to run over me, which includes most people. Few in the world are nurturing enough to avoid placing me in a doormat role. I recognize my DP disorder is primarily responsible for evoking such a response, because it would appear I am uncertain, lacking integrity, wishy washy, etc. and searching their faces for some sort of acceptance, which overall makes me appear weak. I react to that by shutting down and avoiding contact with others. Not good for a dude in his 40s with a law degree. In my case, DPD came about when I left home for college and had to deal with breakup with a girlfriend, and other stresses relating to that transition. Still, I've been able to cope better or worse up until now. What is amazing is how I've seen a half dozen psychiatrists and only one out of them diagnosed the disorder. As it relates to socialization, I really desire some form of continuity, because it seems I often have confident feelings and thoughts, but those do not carry over day-to-day. As many others, I managed to control my anxiety over the disorder via antidepressants (Wellbutrin), but still have the symptoms of someone who really doesn't know who he is. I am beginning to wonder, even with a more aggressive stance in terms of boundaries, if I ever will feel better. Can anyone recommend another treatment or non-antidepressant drug treatment (I've read about Naloxone and some of the others)? Are there any support groups for DPD that meet in person anywhere?


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Think there's a group in new york.&#8230;

Suicide is a little more complicated , it is important to learn how to not take emotions or the thoughts they cause as fact, and to distance your reactions to then, with the right skills you can survive those intense situations, this would be another place where mindulness can make , in some cases, a life saving difference


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## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

I just wanted to share some valuable info. I have discovered recently about DP/anxiety. I had a very good day yesterday--felt connected, balanced, calm and had a great productive day at work and at home. But, then something happened to put me back into DP-land. As I said, I was feeling fine, then I called a male friend of mine (ex-boyfriend, now friend, I guess.) who has been verbally (emotionally) abusive towards me in the past. I told him weeks ago about his verbally attacking me and he said he would try to stop it--repent (changing behavior)? Anyway, last night on the phone, we were talking and I started feeling this anxiety/DP overtake me, it was like a welling-up feeling in my brain and body, and realized that my DP/anxiety is DIRECTLY related to my interacting with abusive people whom I have some emotional bond with. Though he didn't say anything abusive towards me during this phone call, I know that his behavior is geared toward lashing out at other people, of which I have been included in his list, previously. He reminds me alot of my abusive father--constantly criticizing, blaming, resenting, and running other people down, rather than taking charge of one's own life. Just listening to my old BF trash his ex boss, made me start to "disappear" (dissociate). But, he also frightens me because I don't trust him emotionally, though he's never hit me. This is a crucial bit of self-awareness I have stumbled upon (no pun intended, but I have occasionally stumbled while walking from being so anxious/dp'd--can anyone relate to that one?) Abuse by another person can be very subtle, or it could be that two people just don't connect or get along, and I've known that about our relationship for a very long time, so has he. I know that the key to my total recovery is to associate with people who feel safe to be around and can be trusted with my emotions. I may need a Xanax tonight now to calm now, since I had trouble sleeping last night, am tired today and axious, and have troubling switching into calm mode without the help of meds.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

yes if your dp is from trauma, similar relationship dynamics can trigger symptoms


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## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

My DP started from smoking marijuana and having to go home to an abusive father and try to act straight and live in a home where I had to walk on pins and needles BEFORE the cannabis panic attack/dp. At least I am now aware of how to heal.


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## Joshu (Nov 10, 2011)

about groups - There is something called Adult Children of Alcoholics - it is somewhat misnamed because the program is for anyone from any type of dysfunctional family. It is a 12 step program, and it is spiritually based, but non-sectarian. I found their literature helpful when I was going through the steps of AA because I the dp/dr had me so isolated from my emotions. just a suggestion...


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## Joshu (Nov 10, 2011)

BTW Rebbekah - great post!


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## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

I'm definitely working on overcoming the victim role and learning to choose healthy friends, now, or at least not let people upset me emotionally. I'm doing better at standing up to the bully CSR's who answer the phones. I had a few especially smart-ass CSR's from an electric utility company who thought they would use the wrong tone of voice with me. I call people out on their bad behavior now. A few of those CSR's who were smart with me changed their attitude when I let them know that I didn't appreciate their smart-ass, bullying attitude with me. The one lady said, "I have a tic on my neck!!" to justify her abuse. And I said, "Well, I was blind for a half hour yesterday (from anxiety), but I learned along time ago not to take my frustrations out on people who haven't hurt me." I'm still somewhat intimidated by the bosses here at work, but I'm learning to speak up, none the less. I actually found out just a few weeks ago about an Adult Children of Alcoholics group here in my town on Wednesday nights. I was going to go, but changed my mind at the last minute. I might have to check it out. Sometimes I'm so tired after going to work all day that the last thing I want to do when I get home and get a shower is to go out anywhere. I am a home-body and introvert, but do need to socialize and get connected to people.


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