# I am Proof (must read)



## SupportYou

Hello DP/DR community... I recently friended Jeff Abu on Facebook (co-author of Feeling Unreal)and explained to him on how I was planning to return to my old forums (they were many)to offer genuine words of hope and support to those still in the midst of this "abstract veil". In fact, there were many words I used to describe my severe DR... Sub-reality...I got so desperate for answers or an explanation that I once decided I was "chosen" to see the world in a different angle, to see stuff others around me could not. The constant abstract questioning.... what are people, what is a chair, what is language, why do we look so "perfect" as beings and yet we are stuck on this rock in the middle of space/nothingness? These questions would torture me. They were no longer fun to ponder. EVERYTHING freaked me out. I found solice in sleeping....and ?I slept pretty much my 7 years of DP/DR away.... I still managed to hold a part time job and finish college (looking back, I have no idea how I did it but my parents were in denial of my illness and wouldnt accept dropping out as an option). Speaking of parents, I grew up in a highly anxious, loud, and abusive environment. Dad had a short tempter/total narcissist and mom was an enabler and passive/aggressive. We didn't have much family time, unless we were bickering with each other. I think my DP/DR started from dropping Exctasy pills every day for a month...and maybe smoking pot that was laced....No one knows for sure. I was told it could of stemmed from my household and acted as a "defense mechanism", despite the suffering, it was to protect me from my anxious surroundings (hence the "living in a bubble feeling"). I read that people with this illness are usually VERY introspective, analytical, and have a high IQ. For me, I lived in total HELL for 7 years. As an anxious person, the DP/DR made my anxiety hit the roof. Walking outside scared me....I felt the earth was so round and that our atmosphere was a biodome. Everything felt altered.

But it began to decrease in its strength. The sheer fear of the illness itself began to fade as I researched more, took my SSRI, and avoided any illegal drugs of course. Time is what healed me. I always believed the SSRI helped to alleviate the anxiety, but time is what truly got me over this. It was an extremely slow process...as if someone took the recovery remote control and hit "Slow". And as I was shifting slowly back to myself, I was no longer the little teenager that it started with. I was a grown young lady now. Along with my slow ass recovery process, I learned the virtue of patience, the precious opportunity I am given to live my life, my talents, the goodness in people around me, being responsible for MY mental health, and some nifty research skills to boot.







I realized how relentless and resourceful I can be, and that I was brave. I also realized human beings are really amazingly resilient when faced with adversity. In a way, I'm thankful for the experience (when I'm not pissed at the amount of years I wasted). Well, not all was lost. I spent my entire 7 years researching my illness and also learned I had HPPD (Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder) from the E and weed, which caused the visual distortions (that too gets better only with time!)

The good news is, once you feel this veil lifting, you are so overjoyed that you forget how bad you felt. Life just falls back into place. You pick up the pieces are continue on.

I made it a PRIORITY to find the best therapies and meds for me. I would never sit back and deal with it. I was a fighter. You must be too. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! IT'S NOT FOREVER!

To feel like myself and even better than before, unfortuntately, takes some time. Some take months; others, years. Time is against everyone individually, but we all will experience our outcome one way or another. I made many friends on the forums and even was sent a gift from New Zealand from Mother Hen! You don't forget the journey, but when you do recover, you will find it extremely hard to recall this awful feeling of DP/DR. It's as if it truly was all but a dream. Feel free to drop me a line: [email protected]

YOU WILL ALL OVERCOME THIS. I AM PROOF.

-SupportYou


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## PositiveThinking!

SupportYou said:


> Hello DP/DR community... I recently friended Jeff Abu on Facebook (co-author of Feeling Unreal)and explained to him on how I was planning to return to my old forums (they were many)to offer genuine words of hope and support to those still in the midst of this "abstract veil". In fact, there were many words I used to describe my severe DR... Sub-reality...I got so desperate for answers or an explanation that I once decided I was "chosen" to see the world in a different angle, to see stuff others around me could not. The constant abstract questioning.... what are people, what is a chair, what is language, why do we look so "perfect" as beings and yet we are stuck on this rock in the middle of space/nothingness? These questions would torture me. They were no longer fun to ponder. EVERYTHING freaked me out. I found solice in sleeping....and ?I slept pretty much my 7 years of DP/DR away.... I still managed to hold a part time job and finish college (looking back, I have no idea how I did it but my parents were in denial of my illness and wouldnt accept dropping out as an option). Speaking of parents, I grew up in a highly anxious, loud, and abusive environment. Dad had a short tempter/total narcissist and mom was an enabler and passive/aggressive. We didn't have much family time, unless we were bickering with each other. I think my DP/DR started from dropping Exctasy pills every day for a month...and maybe smoking pot that was laced....No one knows for sure. I was told it could of stemmed from my household and acted as a "defense mechanism", despite the suffering, it was to protect me from my anxious surroundings (hence the "living in a bubble feeling"). I read that people with this illness are usually VERY introspective, analytical, and have a high IQ. For me, I lived in total HELL for 7 years. As an anxious person, the DP/DR made my anxiety hit the roof. Walking outside scared me....I felt the earth was so round and that our atmosphere was a biodome. Everything felt altered.
> 
> But it began to decrease in its strength. The sheer fear of the illness itself began to fade as I researched more, took my SSRI, and avoided any illegal drugs of course. Time is what healed me. I always believed the SSRI helped to alleviate the anxiety, but time is what truly got me over this. It was an extremely slow process...as if someone took the recovery remote control and hit "Slow". And as I was shifting slowly back to myself, I was no longer the little teenager that it started with. I was a grown young lady now. Along with my slow ass recovery process, I learned the virtue of patience, the precious opportunity I am given to live my life, my talents, the goodness in people around me, being responsible for MY mental health, and some nifty research skills to boot.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I realized how relentless and resourceful I can be, and that I was brave. I also realized human beings are really amazingly resilient when faced with adversity. In a way, I'm thankful for the experience (when I'm not pissed at the amount of years I wasted). Well, not all was lost. I spent my entire 7 years researching my illness and also learned I had HPPD (Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder) from the E and weed, which caused the visual distortions (that too gets better only with time!)
> 
> The good news is, once you feel this veil lifting, you are so overjoyed that you forget how bad you felt. Life just falls back into place. You pick up the pieces are continue on.
> 
> I made it a PRIORITY to find the best therapies and meds for me. I would never sit back and deal with it. I was a fighter. You must be too. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! IT'S NOT FOREVER!
> 
> To feel like myself and even better than before, unfortuntately, takes some time. Some take months; others, years. Time is against everyone individually, but we all will experience our outcome one way or another. I made many friends on the forums and even was sent a gift from New Zealand from Mother Hen! You don't forget the journey, but when you do recover, you will find it extremely hard to recall this awful feeling of DP/DR. It's as if it truly was all but a dream. Feel free to drop me a line: [email protected]
> 
> YOU WILL ALL OVERCOME THIS. I AM PROOF.
> 
> -SupportYou


What can I say.. woah that was just so inspiring really, thank you so much for writing this, I feel like you've given me enough strenght to go on trough the day without even caring about DP/DR at all


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## SupportYou

PositiveThinking! said:


> What can I say.. woah that was just so inspiring really, thank you so much for writing this, I feel like you've given me enough strenght to go on trough the day without even caring about DP/DR at all


That's why I kew I had to return to the forums to spread the good word. You will overcome this! Don't be afraid of it. Besides, there's more knowledge out there on this nowadays. When I had it, it was still very "rare" and there was hardly any studies on it. Now we know people get it at varying degrees throughout their life. We just happened to get it in its chronic form, where it becomes a lifestyle. The less you give it meaning, the quicker it will lift. By the way, meeting my boyfriend took a lot off my mind, and brought me back into reality. It forced me not to be so introspective and broken the tendency to "stay in my head". I always always social, but the illness forced me to become paralyzed and quiet.

FIGHT!!!!


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## nix

I'm sorry that you've had it for so long time, but I'm really glad you are cured now and "back to reality"








I think that this forum almost completely lacks of positive stories. The most posts I simply don't even want to read, because I know it will only makes me feel worse.


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## PositiveThinking!

nix said:


> I'm sorry that you've had it for so long time, but I'm really glad you are cured now and "back to reality"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think that this forum almost completely lacks of positive stories. The most posts I simply don't even want to read, because I know it will only makes me feel worse.


I don't really mind reading bad posts, it doesn't affect me but it makes me kinda sad sometimes to see people who were near recovery going back to feeling bad


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## Variable Pitch

Lol. You sound like me! Except you know.. more girly parts. Hey nice story. It is refreshing to see something positive here. And I agree with you one-hundred percent. Recently I've been feeling better too. Alot better. I took me almost a full decade to get out of it, but I feel like I'm a stronger person for going through this crap and not blowing my head off (came close a few times)and can now appreciate seeing life from a different angle. Your right, time is what it took, but before I could start to move forward with this whole living thing I had to change something else as well: I had no idea how much of an impact diet and excersize had on your state of mental health. I've knocked off the over-eating on greasy, empty food and have been hitting the gym on a regular basis. The difference when you get active and eat better is like night and day. I had no idea this is what its like. Also maybe getting out of your teenage years makes thing a bit more stable too. Take it easy.


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## SupportYou

guys, I'm sooo glad I can inspire you to keep moving forward. That's all it takes. Patience. You will feel like the sky is themit once you recover from it. As much as I vented during the course of 7 years, I feel like I must give back!


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## Surfingisfun001

That was such a beautiful read, I just got the goosebumps.


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## voidvoid




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## sciphi

just out of curiosity, what SSRI was the most successful for you?

Very inspiring/encouraging story you have...I'm on year 14 (got it when I was 19 - pot), but still hold out hope.


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## SupportYou

sciphi said:


> just out of curiosity, what SSRI was the most successful for you?
> 
> Very inspiring/encouraging story you have...I'm on year 14 (got it when I was 19 - pot), but still hold out hope.


I honestly don't remember but I think it was Zoloft.


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## Dyna

Thank you support you. I am on year 17. You had it for 7 years, how long are you recovered? You took an SSRI for support but do you believe we Chronic DPers make the journey longer by obssesing over it. Why do you think you had it for years when others recover in a relatively short period of time. In essence what do you blieve is the best rute to recovery-meds, therapy. Many people say stop looking for a soluion and accpt it and it will fade once yo don't give it atention. Do you believe this? Your mail indicates that you continued to search/research for your solution throughout your 7 years. I have mainly accepted that this is with me for life and I have learn to function with it but feel my life is completely compromised. But I imagine if it ever did go that I would be so overjoyed and take life by storm.

Your home environment sounds alot like mine was when I was growing up. My mother however was my saviour! Very gentle peaceful woman, but never really understood what I was going through.

PS I got a flash back when you mentioned Mother Hen, I remember her from the orginal DP forum. I always use the handler Dyna. I remember her being very kind and generous with her support. She got DP after the birth of her baby if I remeber correctly, who is probably a teenager now!!

Thanks for the very inspiring post. Best wishes to you and yours. Dyna


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## Dyna

Thank you support you. I am on year 17. You had it for 7 years, how long are you recovered? You took an SSRI for support but do you believe we Chronic DPers make the journey longer by obssesing over it. Why do you think you had it for years when others recover in a relatively short period of time. In essence what do you blieve is the best rute to recovery-meds, therapy. Many people say stop looking for a soluion and accpt it and it will fade once yo don't give it atention. Do you believe this? Your mail indicates that you continued to search/research for your solution throughout your 7 years. I have mainly accepted that this is with me for life and I have learn to function with it but feel my life is completely compromised. But I imagine if it ever did go that I would be so overjoyed and take life by storm.

Your home environment sounds alot like mine was when I was growing up. My mother however was my saviour! Very gentle peaceful woman, but never really understood what I was going through.

PS I got a flash back when you mentioned Mother Hen, I remember her from the orginal DP forum. I always use the handler Dyna. I remember her being very kind and generous with her support. She got DP after the birth of her baby if I remeber correctly, who is probably a teenager now!!

Thanks for the very inspiring post. Best wishes to you and yours. Dyna


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## SupportYou

Dyna said:


> Thank you support you. I am on year 17. You had it for 7 years, how long are you recovered? You took an SSRI for support but do you believe we Chronic DPers make the journey longer by obssesing over it. Why do you think you had it for years when others recover in a relatively short period of time. In essence what do you blieve is the best rute to recovery-meds, therapy. Many people say stop looking for a soluion and accpt it and it will fade once yo don't give it atention. Do you believe this? Your mail indicates that you continued to search/research for your solution throughout your 7 years. I have mainly accepted that this is with me for life and I have learn to function with it but feel my life is completely compromised. But I imagine if it ever did go that I would be so overjoyed and take life by storm.
> 
> Your home environment sounds alot like mine was when I was growing up. My mother however was my saviour! Very gentle peaceful woman, but never really understood what I was going through.
> 
> PS I got a flash back when you mentioned Mother Hen, I remember her from the orginal DP forum. I always use the handler Dyna. I remember her being very kind and generous with her support. She got DP after the birth of her baby if I remeber correctly, who is probably a teenager now!!
> 
> Thanks for the very inspiring post. Best wishes to you and yours. Dyna


Hi Dyna - I recovered in 2004....


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## Screaming Man

Great story, looks like I need to start going to the gym.


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## nicon

i remeber mother hen too very well, she was great, and brought me strength when my dp was worst.


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## koastN

makes me happy








i droppped out of college like 3 days ago
taking off a semester (hopefully) to take 
care of myself. horrible horrible DR.
First inspiring story to recovery!
thanks!!


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## SupportYou

Do what you need to do. Remember, you are still You, as you were born. Just hang in there. The mind does messed up things to us sometimes. It's a defense mechanism.









koastN said:


> makes me happy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> i droppped out of college like 3 days ago
> taking off a semester (hopefully) to take
> care of myself. horrible horrible DR.
> First inspiring story to recovery!
> thanks!!


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## SupportYou

I miss her dearly. She helped me out so many times when I was down. She didn't give up on me even though my need for reassurance was relentless! Ha!









nicon said:


> i remeber mother hen too very well, she was great, and brought me strength when my dp was worst.


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## SupportYou

Dyna what is your most debilitating symptoms and how do you go about your day? I tried several SSRIs and my home didn't make me feel any closer to better. The house was were it was triggered. Very stressful. I was always set on recovering. It was sudden, after a nap from college and wham! The vacuume cleaner in my room suddenly was so friggin' foreign and abstract looking. And I was questioning it. I knew right away this crap isn't normal. I was petrified.


SupportYou said:


> Hi Dyna - I recovered in 2004....


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## SupportYou

I remember my "dreams" were just fog with some orangey clouds. So abstract and depersonalized in my initial dreams. Language also felt weird to speak and see/speak/hear words themselves. Lol


SupportYou said:


> Dyna what is your most debilitating symptoms and how do you go about your day? I tried several SSRIs and my home didn't make me feel any closer to better. The house was were it was triggered. Very stressful. I was always set on recovering. It was sudden, after a nap from college and wham! The vacuume cleaner in my room suddenly was so friggin' foreign and abstract looking. And I was questioning it. I knew right away this crap isn't normal. I was petrified.


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## SupportYou

I remember my "dreams" were just fog with some orangey clouds. So abstract and depersonalized in my initial dreams. Language also felt weird to speak and see/speak/hear words themselves. Lol


SupportYou said:


> Dyna what is your most debilitating symptoms and how do you go about your day? I tried several SSRIs and my home didn't make me feel any closer to better. The house was were it was triggered. Very stressful. I was always set on recovering. It was sudden, after a nap from college and wham! The vacuume cleaner in my room suddenly was so friggin' foreign and abstract looking. And I was questioning it. I knew right away this crap isn't normal. I was petrified.


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## Nicole_22

Thank u so much for that inspiring story. i believe there is hope for me and everyone else! It DOES end... its a matter of PATIENCE! xx


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## Dyna

SupportYou said:


> Dyna what is your most debilitating symptoms and how do you go about your day? I tried several SSRIs and my home didn't make me feel any closer to better. The house was were it was triggered. Very stressful. I was always set on recovering. It was sudden, after a nap from college and wham! The vacuume cleaner in my room suddenly was so friggin' foreign and abstract looking. And I was questioning it. I knew right away this crap isn't normal. I was petrified.


My most debilitating symptom is feeling like I am in a dream state and not with it.


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## BusyBee

Thanks for this


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## SupportYou

It always amazed me at how there's no telltale criteria for getting DP/DR.... it seems to do with a high IQ, a tendency to obsess, and high anxiety. I hope you all hang on and remember, fake it 'til you make it.

I'm also surprised there aren't more doctors educated on this. I mean, it's in the DSM.


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## BlackParasol

SupportYou said:


> The constant abstract questioning.... what are people, what is a chair, what is language, why do we look so "perfect" as beings and yet we are stuck on this rock in the middle of space/nothingness? These questions would torture me. They were no longer fun to ponder. EVERYTHING freaked me out.


The phrase "what is a chair" is the very phrase that made me join this site. When I was very young, I used to constantly freak out over my dresser because I felt like I didn't understand it. And until today, I thought I was the only person in the world who had ever done this.

Your post has given me a lot of hope and helped me to find a whole world of people who know what it means to panic over not understanding an object. It sounds a little silly, but it makes a world of difference to me to know that I'm not crazy or weird. Thank you very, very much.


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## samiam

Hi im new just read your story it gave me hope but discouraged me at the same time. You were able to come out of it but it took 7 years! Idk if i would even be able to handle that or some have it for many years reading that alone is so terrifying. I had DPD for over a year now I had to drop out of college and stop working because it got so chronic and severe. I was wondering how did you know you were back? is there certain stages where you could definately feel it? my fear is..if I ever do get out of this what if it comes back during stress or something, was wondering if it ever reoccurred? Thanks for sharing your story it gives me a bit of hope that some ppl are able to get out of this..


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## gossipgal

i read the first post and started crying..... i still cannot imagine having my life in my own hands.... not being controlled by the fear.


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## hoping

[/si

I am 56 years old and have had this disorder since I was 15. I didn't know what it was until 2000. I tried anti-depressants, but stopped taking them when I realized they didn't relieve any symptoms and were not a cure. During the last year, I have had some very "hopeful" signs that recovery may be possible. I have had some "moments" of reality and of feeling like myself. These are only moments, not lasting more than a few minutes at best. I get excitied after having one of these moments, but they are few and far between. I am not able to sustain them--they go away and I am left with the blankness and emptiness. Today I had one of those moments and it seemed like the best moment so far--I actually was able to focus on some objects and they appeared "real" and also when interacting with some people I felt like myself--the real me. Only someone with dp would be able to understand what I am saying. My question is, did you experience "moments" as you were recovering? If it doesn't come all at once and remain, is there any hope of regaining the real self?


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## Saint_Josh

hoping said:


> [/si
> 
> I am 56 years old and have had this disorder since I was 15. I didn't know what it was until 2000. I tried anti-depressants, but stopped taking them when I realized they didn't relieve any symptoms and were not a cure. During the last year, I have had some very "hopeful" signs that recovery may be possible. I have had some "moments" of reality and of feeling like myself. These are only moments, not lasting more than a few minutes at best. I get excitied after having one of these moments, but they are few and far between. I am not able to sustain them--they go away and I am left with the blankness and emptiness. Today I had one of those moments and it seemed like the best moment so far--I actually was able to focus on some objects and they appeared "real" and also when interacting with some people I felt like myself--the real me. Only someone with dp would be able to understand what I am saying. My question is, did you experience "moments" as you were recovering? If it doesn't come all at once and remain, is there any hope of regaining the real self?




Even though I'm not the topic starter, I can answer some of your questions:

I have had these 'moments' as you call them. Sometimes when I was in the deep end of the DP/DR, I'd get glimpses and feelings of the 'illusionary veil' lifting off of me and being able to exist in a form of life that was not DP/DR. Imagine you're drunk, and you can feel the drunkenness in you and overtaking you (much the same as any hard drug, or even weed). Similar to how I feel when I am drunk: this presence of drunkenness exists with me, in me, and I can only act within the limitations and boundaries of this drunkenness barrier that I placed upon myself; so when I feel my strong waves of DP/DR, it feels as if there is this 'fake drunkenness' that exists in me, around my mind-- in my mind. But it doesn't feel as if I am drunk: in fact when I am drunk I lose my ability to care about the truly unimportant, which, while I am either high, or feeling DP/DR, I cannot stop caring and stressing about. But basically I am saying is that I understand what you mean when you say you feel these moments; and these feeling of moments is a sign that you are going to get better, and already are getting better. Yes, there is hope.


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## Chris P Bacon

Thankyou very much for this!

I too am struggling with strange existential thoughts, they didn't really bother me until the last couple of days when I've been having very scary ones. Things like, how did life begin? And why was I not born till 1992?

Its really scary! My DP/DR probably isn't as bad as alot on here but the thoughts are really scary! I can't get them out of my head.


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## Steveo617

SupportYou said:


> Hello DP/DR community... I recently friended Jeff Abu on Facebook (co-author of Feeling Unreal)and explained to him on how I was planning to return to my old forums (they were many)to offer genuine words of hope and support to those still in the midst of this "abstract veil". In fact, there were many words I used to describe my severe DR... Sub-reality...I got so desperate for answers or an explanation that I once decided I was "chosen" to see the world in a different angle, to see stuff others around me could not. The constant abstract questioning.... what are people, what is a chair, what is language, why do we look so "perfect" as beings and yet we are stuck on this rock in the middle of space/nothingness? These questions would torture me. They were no longer fun to ponder. EVERYTHING freaked me out. I found solice in sleeping....and ?I slept pretty much my 7 years of DP/DR away.... I still managed to hold a part time job and finish college (looking back, I have no idea how I did it but my parents were in denial of my illness and wouldnt accept dropping out as an option). Speaking of parents, I grew up in a highly anxious, loud, and abusive environment. Dad had a short tempter/total narcissist and mom was an enabler and passive/aggressive. We didn't have much family time, unless we were bickering with each other. I think my DP/DR started from dropping Exctasy pills every day for a month...and maybe smoking pot that was laced....No one knows for sure. I was told it could of stemmed from my household and acted as a "defense mechanism", despite the suffering, it was to protect me from my anxious surroundings (hence the "living in a bubble feeling"). I read that people with this illness are usually VERY introspective, analytical, and have a high IQ. For me, I lived in total HELL for 7 years. As an anxious person, the DP/DR made my anxiety hit the roof. Walking outside scared me....I felt the earth was so round and that our atmosphere was a biodome. Everything felt altered.
> 
> But it began to decrease in its strength. The sheer fear of the illness itself began to fade as I researched more, took my SSRI, and avoided any illegal drugs of course. Time is what healed me. I always believed the SSRI helped to alleviate the anxiety, but time is what truly got me over this. It was an extremely slow process...as if someone took the recovery remote control and hit "Slow". And as I was shifting slowly back to myself, I was no longer the little teenager that it started with. I was a grown young lady now. Along with my slow ass recovery process, I learned the virtue of patience, the precious opportunity I am given to live my life, my talents, the goodness in people around me, being responsible for MY mental health, and some nifty research skills to boot.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I realized how relentless and resourceful I can be, and that I was brave. I also realized human beings are really amazingly resilient when faced with adversity. In a way, I'm thankful for the experience (when I'm not pissed at the amount of years I wasted). Well, not all was lost. I spent my entire 7 years researching my illness and also learned I had HPPD (Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder) from the E and weed, which caused the visual distortions (that too gets better only with time!)
> 
> The good news is, once you feel this veil lifting, you are so overjoyed that you forget how bad you felt. Life just falls back into place. You pick up the pieces are continue on.
> 
> I made it a PRIORITY to find the best therapies and meds for me. I would never sit back and deal with it. I was a fighter. You must be too. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! IT'S NOT FOREVER!
> 
> To feel like myself and even better than before, unfortuntately, takes some time. Some take months; others, years. Time is against everyone individually, but we all will experience our outcome one way or another. I made many friends on the forums and even was sent a gift from New Zealand from Mother Hen! You don't forget the journey, but when you do recover, you will find it extremely hard to recall this awful feeling of DP/DR. It's as if it truly was all but a dream. Feel free to drop me a line: [email protected]
> 
> YOU WILL ALL OVERCOME THIS. I AM PROOF.
> 
> -SupportYou


 Do u drink now? Do you ever have thoughts or slight feelings it would come back?? I did cough medicin go like 4 years everyday and burned and drank and rolled. The I had a seizure then o quit it all, but I didn't get this till 2 or 3 years later. I can't drink now







I want to go out n have fun


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## SupportYou

How is everyone handling their situation? Just checking in... Thanks for your kind emails....







you are all strong, determined people.


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## SupportYou

Chris....also, it truly doesnt matter what the topic of your abstract thoughts are....they are all equally upsetting and tiresome. I hear you.


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## SupportYou

Steveo, of course I worry if it will come back. It took so much from me the first round. I dont want to endure it ever again....but thats why I stay away from hard drugs and even liquor. And stress! I get glimpses of it for less than a second but that's it. I think learning so much about it, will keep me grom relapsing since im so aware of how it works and the triggers. Then again, anything is possible. Who am I to know? I just know that if I am prone to it, im extra cautious. And who wouldnt be after such trauma right?


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## SupportYou

The fact you are better and you realize it, is absolutely where you wanna be. Rest is key. remove toxic relationships.


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## SupportYou

Steveo...i do not drink but....a big BUT...i have recently decided to go to detox for marijuana. Dp/dr absolutely can be comorbid with addiction and compulsions. Whichever came first, the anxiety or the pot abuse, is irrelevant. The disease is there and will be until I get professional help. After I recovered from DR, I still had my old addiction to kick...which was what got me in the shitty dream like state in the 1st place...but its only NOW, after being married, that I am committed to quit pot and close that chapter.

The moral? Dont abuse alcohol or drug when you recover and if possible, take care of it now if you feel you cant control your intake.


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## dp35yrs

SupportYou said:


> Hello DP/DR community... I recently friended Jeff Abu on Facebook (co-author of Feeling Unreal)and explained to him on how I was planning to return to my old forums (they were many)to offer genuine words of hope and support to those still in the midst of this "abstract veil". In fact, there were many words I used to describe my severe DR... Sub-reality...I got so desperate for answers or an explanation that I once decided I was "chosen" to see the world in a different angle, to see stuff others around me could not. The constant abstract questioning.... what are people, what is a chair, what is language, why do we look so "perfect" as beings and yet we are stuck on this rock in the middle of space/nothingness? These questions would torture me. They were no longer fun to ponder. EVERYTHING freaked me out. I found solice in sleeping....and ?I slept pretty much my 7 years of DP/DR away.... I still managed to hold a part time job and finish college (looking back, I have no idea how I did it but my parents were in denial of my illness and wouldnt accept dropping out as an option). Speaking of parents, I grew up in a highly anxious, loud, and abusive environment. Dad had a short tempter/total narcissist and mom was an enabler and passive/aggressive. We didn't have much family time, unless we were bickering with each other. I think my DP/DR started from dropping Exctasy pills every day for a month...and maybe smoking pot that was laced....No one knows for sure. I was told it could of stemmed from my household and acted as a "defense mechanism", despite the suffering, it was to protect me from my anxious surroundings (hence the "living in a bubble feeling"). I read that people with this illness are usually VERY introspective, analytical, and have a high IQ. For me, I lived in total HELL for 7 years. As an anxious person, the DP/DR made my anxiety hit the roof. Walking outside scared me....I felt the earth was so round and that our atmosphere was a biodome. Everything felt altered.
> 
> But it began to decrease in its strength. The sheer fear of the illness itself began to fade as I researched more, took my SSRI, and avoided any illegal drugs of course. Time is what healed me. I always believed the SSRI helped to alleviate the anxiety, but time is what truly got me over this. It was an extremely slow process...as if someone took the recovery remote control and hit "Slow". And as I was shifting slowly back to myself, I was no longer the little teenager that it started with. I was a grown young lady now. Along with my slow ass recovery process, I learned the virtue of patience, the precious opportunity I am given to live my life, my talents, the goodness in people around me, being responsible for MY mental health, and some nifty research skills to boot.
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> I realized how relentless and resourceful I can be, and that I was brave. I also realized human beings are really amazingly resilient when faced with adversity. In a way, I'm thankful for the experience (when I'm not pissed at the amount of years I wasted). Well, not all was lost. I spent my entire 7 years researching my illness and also learned I had HPPD (Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder) from the E and weed, which caused the visual distortions (that too gets better only with time!)
> 
> The good news is, once you feel this veil lifting, you are so overjoyed that you forget how bad you felt. Life just falls back into place. You pick up the pieces are continue on.
> 
> I made it a PRIORITY to find the best therapies and meds for me. I would never sit back and deal with it. I was a fighter. You must be too. FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! IT'S NOT FOREVER!
> 
> To feel like myself and even better than before, unfortuntately, takes some time. Some take months; others, years. Time is against everyone individually, but we all will experience our outcome one way or another. I made many friends on the forums and even was sent a gift from New Zealand from Mother Hen! You don't forget the journey, but when you do recover, you will find it extremely hard to recall this awful feeling of DP/DR. It's as if it truly was all but a dream. Feel free to drop me a line: [email protected]
> 
> YOU WILL ALL OVERCOME THIS. I AM PROOF.
> 
> -SupportYou


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## dp35yrs

I appreciated your story. I on the other hand have had dp for 35 years. i have learned to live and function in this reality, since i was 14 when it started. i really don't remember what it was like for me before dp. i turn 50 next month. i have no idea what my life would have been, but it has been okay. after several decades of struggling, i finally adapted and have survived. the good news is, i haven't felt any extreme lows in my life, but i also haven't had the highs. i appreciate that i have been able to feel love though. i could not have survived 35 years of dp without love in my life


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## stasha

Screaming Man said:


> Great story, looks like I need to start going to the gym.


me too!!


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## stone cold

I am "celebrating" 20 years dp/dr. Do I believe in cure still? Absolutely? The thing is what is the root cause. If it MS or 1 of million other uncurable neurological diseases then the symptoms can only be managed IMO.

I had periods without dp/dr. Smoking cigarettes sets my dp sky high.

Would be a good idea to go for detailed neurological tests but I have no guts for it (yet)


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## AndyD

SupportYou,
Great story.... gave me chills. Its inspiring and keeps me hopeful that one day I may be able to overcome this too. I've had it for at least 11 years. I had some small periods of time where I had experienced some improvement but mostly have suffered with extremely bad symptoms. Just curious... what SSRI were you taking? Thanks again.

Andy


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## tags

im so happy for you!! ive had dr/dp for a year but i think im slowly (very slowly) getting a bit better!







thanks for the post, really uplifting and hopeful!







x


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## dnelson2727

Thanks


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## thomwest

nix said:


> I'm sorry that you've had it for so long time, but I'm really glad you are cured now and "back to reality"
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> I think that this forum almost completely lacks of positive stories. The most posts I simply don't even want to read, because I know it will only makes me feel worse.


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## thomwest

Hi: There are times when I get the impression that "sufferers" enjoy it too much to try to change. This is not an easy "condition" to overcome - it does involve some "choices" though, and a little bit of "ferocity". It's a tough world for a lot of people, however no-ones "Reality" is necessarily "wrong" unless they hurt somebody. I have even met people whackier than I and it didn't bother me at all. Just put the groceries in the bag, sir, and I'll see you later. DP35, what a GREAT posting and what a GREAT truth for you. Salvation, I swear. Keep on loving. Thom


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## SupportYou

i am so happy my story has started a mini community of positive energy. Keep the posts coming!


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## daydreambeliever

Well, nothing has worked for me for more than a few months. I continue to eat right and exercise. It helps. But I hate to be a downer. I don't think I will ever recover. I've had it for as far back as I can remember and I'm in my 50s now. It's the worst it's ever been. I'm down to trying to figure out how to keep going at this point in my life. Thanks for your post though.


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## SupportYou

Was it drug induced or anxiety?


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## SundaySeance

SupportYou said:


> Was it drug induced or anxiety?


Why would someone who was truly cured still browse DPselfhelp forums?


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## SupportYou

SundaySeance said:


> Why would someone who was truly cured still browse DPselfhelp forums?


Because I believe I have solid reasoning: to give insight to current sufferers and if that means my communication giving one person a sense of comfort and reassurance, then that is a good thing. I am indeed DR free. It was the longest abstract hell of my life but I am recovered. I have no reason to lie about that. That would be just sick. I am hardly on the forum though. I receive emails from sufferers and provide my support.


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## SupportYou

SundaySeance said:


> Why would someone who was truly cured still browse DPselfhelp forums?


Also, when I was going through DR, I was so friggin' scared and alone. I dont want others to feel that way. people deserve hope.


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## Katya

I can't believe the similarities. My parents are the exact same way. My life within my family is exactly the same way. There's was a whole bunch of other personal matters going on in my family but it is like the exact same way my family is. And my dp/dr started with weed and it's been going on for almost a full year. At least now i know to stay away fron drugs haha. This story gives me hope even if I don't know how long it will take  Thank you.


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## sheldon780

No trauma in my childhood but I was a very anxious baby. Diagnosed with panic disorder and had in when I was 12 (2001) Dealt with hypochondria on and off until 3 weeks ago today, NOW its Dp/DR which I have had before but not neaely as bad, so mine is caused by anxiety, which I thought i had beat, but this is ok, all this means is I have some work to do, Im a lot better then I was last week so it does get better and it loses its grasp slowly, time and distraction is the best tteatment people!!! Good to hear yoir recovery Supportyou, thanks for all of the support, we really do appriciate it, even the ones who are a little rude haha


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## SuperShae

Hey I'm new here. I'm 16 years old and a girl. I got DP from a bad drug experience. I feel really hopeless at the moment. I feel like I'll never get better and I'll always be like this. I don't want to be like this forever... It terrifys me. I can't even do anything anymore without feeling it. I know I'm young but it's ruining my life and making me depressed. I've always had a little anxiety but never this bad! Nothing I do to distract myself works. I'm terrified I'm going to lose myself completely and turn into a mindless THING like in tv shows  I've had this for a few months now and I think my therapist doesn't even know what to do.
PLEASE can anyone give me a idea of what to do to make it stop so I can enjoy my life again. I don't want to miss out on being young from this. Please please


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## fairydpd

I wonder if I have hppd too as I used a lot of drugs when I was younger and recently used a lot of loratab ???


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## Victor Ouriques

fairydpd said:


> I wonder if I have hppd too as I used a lot of drugs when I was younger and recently used a lot of loratab ???


As far as I know people with HPPD tend to have visual and sound distortion,not just the unreal feeling.

Of course HPPD is more related to derealization too.


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## Skynet

It does not take months or years to recover. I've had DP a few different times. When it went away it always happened in an instant like someone flipped a switch! THAT FAST! So don't believe any BS about this having to be a long process. It's only a long process when your brain become stuck in your little DP world. But it literally ony takes a split second to return to normal once you drop the fear and finally relax.


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## dpdr

if you were cured in 2004. It is is insane you still smoke pot. Pot is the worst trigger for DR/DP.

What medications do you take? only zoloft or also a benzo?

Tell us what helps you. What reliefs the most for DR. How do we get the world real again. If im spacing on 1 mg klonopin, i'm pretty relaxed, my Closed eyes visions go away too. HPPD+ DP/DR is a Hell.

I have become a grumpy, cynical depressed man because of this, i cannot feel any damn feeling only hate to myself and people making fun of me because i screwed up.

I want to be happy. I cannot drink anymore too, my social life is ruined, i cannot even talk properly anymore.

I took too much MDMA in combination with Speed and ALOT of beer and Lorazepam to get some relief of the trip, from then i changed in a very anxied guy who needs help, but no-one understands it, they only talk about meditation, I cannot meditate when i have CLosed eye visions it drives me insane.

HELP, [email protected]


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## anxiety.help

Wow, some really great points. What a nice read. I joined this forum recently and i must say it is so nice to read other peoples stories and see them having success. It gives me much hope. I made a decision and that decision is 'I must make myself better!' I have been reading a number of success stories lately and so many people have had the courage to make a change in their life. If they can do it, so can I.

I've had GAD / OCD for a number of years, I would say I'm on year 8 and I need to make some change. My work and personal life can't go on like this any more. Most days I hit rock bottom and I am unsure how long I can go on like this. The thought of having another 8 years of GAD and OCD does not life my spirits. I am trying many different things to help me. I don't know if anyone has heard of Carl Sheppard, he had DP / DR for about 15 years and he is helping people who are experiencing what he went through. It would be helpful if anyone had any feedback on Carl Sheppard. Any information or guidance is much appreciated.

Thanks again everyone for such positive messages. It helps me get through the day. This forum is a good source of pick me up. Its good to hear about individuals who are going through what I am.


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## Guest

Thanks for this, a post like this is really what I needed right now


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## Secretskept

Woah, thanks for this. Really inspiring and motivates me to get through this.


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## LittleGreenFrog*

Wow, thanks so much for the post!


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## Diana100

Thank you!!! Knowledge is power.


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## emmiesuz

Thank you so much for that! I feel like I am losing my mind. I am constantly "missing" my life. I'm so tired of feeling like a robot.


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## yeleen

thank you for sharing this with us .Back to reality its great ,but for me its like ive never entered it .Dont know what its like .so how can i get back to it ?

i know I lost something but i dont know what ,so how can I find it back ?


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## yeleen

by the way , I took zoloft and now take pxil and its helpong me a lot .Im much more les absent minded , more aware of other and the biggest change its that im

not so withdraw ,im not th elifew of the party but i do attend the party and even if im uncomfortable i go out .people tell me youre coming out of your shell now .

so medications is good but it has its limits ,im a bit more present but still have DP .its not a cure .


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## vertigodream

Needed to see a story like this, it gives me hope because I have had it for 7 years too.


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## SupportYou

Hi ladies and gents,

In case you have noticed, I haven't been active on here but came back today to encourage sufferers to email me for support from DP/DR so please don't hesitate! Hope everyone is well and many of you who left a post have finally recovered. Talk to you soon and chin up... it can be beat. :!:

*Please note, my NEW email address is: [email protected] *

My Best,

Jamie


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