# Has anyone ever recovered from severe DP?



## Jgamepro (Jul 1, 2013)

I know y'all are sick of me posting, but I felt I needed to share this.

My DP has gotten astronomically bad. It's been that way for a while, but lately it's gotten to the point where I can't do simple shit. I just sit and stare at things. Walking around in a daze. Sometimes in front of moving cars. Can't even do the things I used to enjoy like playing video games and drawing because can't visualize myself doing anything, if that makes any sense.

I'm having a hard time even typing this right now.

This is fucking HELL. It's like I'm trapped in limbo or purgatory. Just floating, unaware of the world around me.

I don't want this to be my life. There is so much I wanted to do.

Has anyone been this bad and recovered gradually? And actually got their memories back. If so, please tell me how.

I

I'm not asking for a cure just some relief.

Thank You.

P.S. I'm still on Seroquel 600mg, Neurontin 300mg 3x a day. But I'm thinking about quitting and trying some natural remedies.

I'm absolutely sick of doctors shoving pills in my face..


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## Doberg (Sep 12, 2013)

hightimer said:


> Force yourself to watch TV and play video games as it will get your mind off of it.


distractions help, but can I ask why you are on such a high does of Seroquel?


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

Read the recovery story a couple of threads down. That sounded chronic to me.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

Jgamepro said:


> Can't even do the things I used to enjoy like playing video games and drawing because can't visualize myself doing anything, if that makes any sense.


That was one of my worste symptoms when this first started. I didn't even GET what it meant or felt like to look forward to or visualize myself doubt something. Thank God is eased so much, it gets better bromance.


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## DarkMatter (Nov 18, 2011)

I would recommend getting off meds. Exercise diet will help anxiety but wont cure you.


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## Someoneone (Jun 12, 2013)

Definitely! I am 100% healed from DP.

Please read my thread Top 8 mistakes DP/DRers make.


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## Magrathea (Jul 8, 2010)

Recovery is possible. I know because it happened spontaneously and spectacularly with me. I was, until recently, of the opinion that the condition was not caused by attitudes and habits of the individual, but, after what happened to me I can no longer maintain that position. I now think that in many cases the condition is effectively self-inflicted on subconscious level. Unfortunately, I don't yet have much in the way of advice because I cannot be certain how the hell I recovered or offer it as a procedure for someone else.

Here is what happened to me.

I had dp & dr for over twenty years (since my early twenties) the trigger appeared to drug related, a single unpleasant ecstasy trip that never 'went away'.

In the last few years I had got a lot better almost to the point where I was certain complete recovery was just around the corner - however, it never quite came, though I over time I continued to feel a bit better every single day (odd).

About six months ago I started a new diet regime with the aim of losing some weight. The diet involved complete abstinence from grains, potatoes and refined sugar; replacing the lost calories with animal fats and protein (paleo diet). This diet seemed to produce spectacular benefits to my disposition:

-My sleep patterns changed to become normal (falling asleep naturally and easily before 11pm and waking up at about six. This sort of sleep pattern was alien territory for me, since a child I have a lot of trouble maintaining normal sleep patterns, often staying up until the early morning hours because sleep before then was not a practical option.

-My energy levels went through the roof, I was able to concentrate far more easily, and I was waking up feeling refreshed and competent. This again was alien territory for me, as I would before very often wake up feeling worse than when I had gone to bed!

-My dp - dr seemed to be improving - it was again gradual, but now it seemed to be faster than before, I was reconnecting internally with all the states and impressions I recalled from my past. While doing something, I would often simply stop and realise I had just grabbed another long forgotten atmosphere or feeling I was receiving from my environment. The things I was grabbing were becoming more and more subtle and complete as time went on.

About eight weeks ago I had a series of panic attacks over a weekend. Now, since I have had dp - dr (twenty years ago) I have had about four or five of these unpleasant experiences. So I was having panic attacks about once every five years or so. This one seemed to be a bit more prolonged than previous episodes I have had before and struck me (as they usually do) in the morning or on awaking in the middle of the night. The panic attack lasted about three hours; I had made a special effort to time it. It was horrible, but by the end of the episode, I was kind of 'playing' with it. This may be just coincidence, but it seemed the less I tried to avoid the waves of fear and confusion the less they affected me. I recovered and made a mental note of what had happened so I might use it again in five years or so when I had another episode. I didn't have to wait that long.

The trouble with describing what happened next, is that I can't be sure how much of it was real and how much of it occurred in a dream-like, semi-waking state. For convenience, I will describe what I felt was happening at the time. I awoke again the next morning at about 4am (it was dark) and nothing in my head made the slightest bit of sense, I was having a panic attack, but there seemed to be more piled on me this time. I was sure I was conscious, but for the life of me no part of my life made any sense. I am a developer and I recall ruminating (or trying to) over the projects I was involved in and everything seemed to be literally inside out, Despite trying I could not bring anything at all into a focus that made the sligtest sense. The fear washed over me, I was fully conscious (as far as I could tell) but I had no grip at all on my reality. I assumed that I had developed some kind of serious mental disorder and ran through scenarios of my future with this problem. I felt, in my present state, even getting help was going to be difficult. I was certain that I was facing a total and complete failure of my life. It was horrible and it went on and on for what felt like hours. Then gradually I began to gain control of this and told myself, that whatever is happening, it is extremely unlikely I had gone completely barmy overnight! Then something spectacular happened. I could feel all the confusion melting away, bit by bit bits of my job and my life started making sense again. I gradually realised the way I had been visualising things was a distortion and I started to feel my grip returning. It was at that point that something happened in my mind that I cannot describe adequately at all. It was like I was lying on a bed staring at ceiling that changed into a gigantic office blind (the horizontal slat type). The slats in the blind were turned slowly, and blinding light filled my entire brain. I was no longer panicking, I felt calm and in control - and in this calm, detached state I spontaneously began to engage in some kind of life review. It felt like I had instant, easy, objective access to everything in my life and certain experiences seemed to be highlighted naturally. All of a sudden a giant pattern became apparent. I pulled (metaphorically) on one experience and others of similar nature come into focus as if I had pulled on a thread. I realised that I had an issue that had been plaguing me since I was a child. I had been rejected by nearly everyone except family, that I liked or respected, since about the age of 8 or so. It felt like all sorts of buried material came to surface; father issues, rejection etc; and that I had buried this stuff in order to please my father, but that what I had done had turned into a lying reflex that was hurting me.

The next day, although I had hardly any sleep at all, I went into work and felt better than I had felt in years. It seemed to me that my dp had entirely gone. I had some lingering dr, but that was very, very mild and not at all a problem. Over the next couple of weeks even the lingering dr started to fade away to nothing. Everything thing now feels different, but the trouble is I only know that intellectually, because everything just feels *normal* and I now have trouble visualising what dp felt like to do a proper comparison.

As you can see, there is little I can offer in terms of advice apart from the diet because everything that happened to me seemed to be spontaneous.

My theory:

My dp was caused by internal buried conflicts. The diet I changed to aided my ability to deal with the issues. It didn't cure me, it merely gave me the strength to confront the issues when the opportunity (the panic attacks) arose

Sorry the post is so long. I do hope it's worth the effort of reading.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

Magrathea said:


> Recovery is possible. I know because it happened spontaneously and spectacularly with me. I was, until recently, of the opinion that the condition was not caused by attitudes and habits of the individual, but, after what happened to me I can no longer maintain that position. I now think that in many cases the condition is effectively self-inflicted on subconscious level. Unfortunately, I don't yet have much in the way of advice because I cannot be certain how the hell I recovered or offer it as a procedure for someone else.
> 
> Here is what happened to me.
> 
> ...


Posts like these really make me smile.

You are a hero.

I works love and give anything to face what the Fuck it is that haunts me, but I just don't know.


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## Guest (Nov 21, 2013)

.


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## Guest (Nov 21, 2013)

Jgamepro said:


> I know y'all are sick of me posting, but I felt I needed to share this.
> 
> My DP has gotten astronomically bad. It's been that way for a while, but lately it's gotten to the point where I can't do simple shit. I just sit and stare at things. Walking around in a daze. Sometimes in front of moving cars. Can't even do the things I used to enjoy like playing video games and drawing because can't visualize myself doing anything, if that makes any sense.
> 
> ...


Dear Jgamepro,

Why do you even bother to ask questions if you don't even seem to care about the responses?

If you'd even bothered to look, you'd see quite a few people here spent quite a bit of time in thought, and spent their time responding to our concerns and yet you never even bothered to to reply.

Thanks mate.. for wasting everyones time!


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## Jgamepro (Jul 1, 2013)

Philo said:


> Dear Jgamepro,
> 
> Why do you even bother to ask questions if you don't even seem to care about the responses?
> 
> ...


Sorry. I read all of your replies. Which I'm really grateful for btw. I just didn't feel that I had anything important to add.


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## Jgamepro (Jul 1, 2013)

Idk. The truth is I don't know what to say. I want to get better but I don't know how. I feel like a vegetable. I can't think at all and my memory problems seem to get worse everyday. To the point where I can't function. I can't keep a job like this. I've thought about going to the hospital but don't know if that's a good idea cuz most psychiatrists don't know how to treat depersonalization. Otherwise, I'm out of ideas. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I can't live like this but I can't just give up either. I feel like crying

See this another reason I didn't reply is because it's so negative. And that's not like me.


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## Jgamepro (Jul 1, 2013)

So essentially, my dp is like a runaway freight train. Which I'm gonna have to work hard to get back on track.


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

So, have the medications helped you in any way? 
Why you keep taking this schizophrenia med, it blows my mind,


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## Jgamepro (Jul 1, 2013)

I'm working on it but quitting my meds is harder than I thought. Like I said, underneath the surface I have really bad anxiety.

So every time I try to quit my anxiety starts acting up making my dp worse.

I'm trying to wean myself off slowly

I read about Bacopa and Phenibut and they seem pretty legit. I guess it's worth a try.


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## JJ123D (Dec 6, 2013)

I TOTALLY relate to what you are saying, TOTALLY :S.

I also don't get convinced with the answers people are giving me; I read them and appreciate them in the moment but later forget all about it cause they don't really answer my exact problems. I feel it's not me all the time recently. The times I feel it's me is when I ignore and resist the dp by pushing old thinking patterns about stuff; for example if I'm sitting by a heater and feeling nothing emotionally, I try to push the attitude I once had towards this activity which can be "that's cool", ie my opinion about it re-arises.

One of the reasons I became like this is from doing too much meditation on a daily basis for 6 months and doing almost nothing in life. Meditation makes you look at things without getting any thought, ie without feeling anything about the things ur looking at and not even labeling them.

As for the remedy I just have what I described in the 1st paragraph and hope like you that it's curable. I also found use in doing extreme things that are or aren't me. For example if I'm used to dress up very well, I push myself to go out in PJs, so my self would come back in and realizes that this is not me. It's like a shock to ur old self which makes it come back and defend itself and feel again. Same thing with extreme things that ARE you, for example if u used to like cooking something in a certain special way, go and try to cook it again focusing like you used to.


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## Jgamepro (Jul 1, 2013)

That's an interesting hypothesis. Maybe the old me can beat some sense into the DP'd me.


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