# Is this normal for dp/dr



## Maddyn (May 4, 2017)

I feel like im genuinely not here, i have good days were its not as terrible but still bad and usually this last for a few weeks were i will feel okay, still depersonalised/derealised but its like the change in my attitude makes it better, then something will set it off and ill be back with another intrusive thought that i will never get better, what set me off this time was a weird false awakening dream loop i had, i kept waking up in dreams and not sure if was truly awake (which i wasnt) but it made me scared in my dreams that my dp/dr was worse, then when i finally woke up i was scared that i wasnt awake, then that day i went to my grandma and grandpas house and they are getting old and deteriating and my grandma is on lots of medication for anxiety and stuff and shes now seeing people that arent there which scared me and made me think that would happen to me, and now my brother is back in the hospital as he is a alcoholic (his been in and out of rehabs and hospitals for years) and its like when will i catch a break, im so scared i feel like ill never feel normal again, my memory can be really bad some days and i feel like my brain in asleep, i dont know what to do is this normal to go in and out of bad moments in the recovery process, im trying to go to my job and be strong and act normal but its so difficult sometimes, why do i feel like im not here why do i feel like my brain isnt working, sorry if this is all over the place but thats how im feeling so yeah.


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## Thursday (Nov 6, 2016)

Hey Maddyn

That's definitely normal for me. I'm in a constant dp/dr detached state sort of drifting along on autopilot, some days are better, most are not so good but I get through. But I have some really bad days where I just feel so lost in myself and then I start panicking that I'll forget this is real and I'm in a constant loop of intrusive thoughts. Yeah some days are much worse, maybe even a few days. My boyfriend (whose the only person I properly talk to about my dp/dr) understands when I say 'It's just a bad day'. It's so hard to keep acting like you feel the same way as everyone else, that you're alive too, not just living. I think it helps to tell someone, I find it helps to carry something textural with me too. It doesn't exactly lessen the dp/dr but it's comforting to hold something real. Dp/dr has really shot my short term memory to bits, I always have reminders written on my hand because I know that otherwise they'll slip through the net.

It's okay to have bad days or weeks, it's part of the process. Sometimes it's going to be worse for a while, but that doesn't mean you aren't getting better. How stressful right now is for you is probably worsening your symptoms too at the moment. But none of that means you won't get better. Changing your attitude definitely helps I think; it's easy to get stuck in a spiral of just thinking about your dp/dr and how unreal everything feels, but if you decide not to entertain those thoughts, to push yourself and go out and do something with a better mindset it definitely helps. Doesn't mean you don't still have the symptoms, doesn't mean you don't still have really bad days when even getting up doesn't seem worth the amount of effort it will take. But it does mean you can get better

Thursday x


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## Smokevin (Jun 8, 2017)

Hey friend.

In Psychology, mental health disorders or issues tend to fluctuate. They ebb and flow, and can become increasingly symptomatic and then drop. Back and forth.

A key thing to remember is that progress is not linear. It is also up and down.

This is crucial to remember. It has helped me to push the thought of worsening issues aside with PURE ease.

You just need to continue life. There is a very fine line between having DP/DR and not having it.

It has everything to do with anxiety and the confidence you have in yourself.

Peace & Love


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## Maddyn (May 4, 2017)

Thank you so much for that you really made me feel understood, my boyfriend is amazing and i talk to him about all my dp/dr issues, i have had this for 6 years and have almost recovered, i was doing really well and the only symptom i had was the pain of glass feeling but when me and my ex broke up (my current bf) we have been pretty on and off, because of me being scared to commit. I went out and partied alot and got peer pressured into drugs, i was terrified and didnt want to make my dp worse but did it a handful of times because it didnt make it worse straight away but the last time i did and will ever touch drugs again it brought me back to square one if not worse this time around, i also suffer with ocd intrusive thoughts which doesnt make things easier. Im seeing a pyschologist now who is really helping and im back with my boyfriend which is the best decision i have ever made, he is my one true happiness and i believe i will get better, the brain fog is probably the scariest part because i feel off and dumb, as you said my memory is fucked and my concentration is even worse. But i do believe i will get better, if you ever want to chat you can message me!

Maddy xx


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