# My Healing Story Continued



## chuckbrando (Mar 27, 2013)

Below is my most recent blog post and a link to the blog which describes my healing experience along with my personal journal entries:

http://myhealingddranxiety.blogspot.com/

One of the most important things I think people can do who have witnessed partial, full or near full healing or recovery is to "send the elevator back down" to people who still have work to do. I continue to detail my experience for this very reason because I have steadily improved my outlook and experience of life. I have spent the better part of the past few months writing about my experiences and thoughts on healing. Yesterday was the first day in a long time that I felt almost completely integrated into my life. I was able to completely enjoy conversations and interactions with others. I was able to laugh and I was able to think in a way that I find more normal and comfortable.

The DP/DR success stories that I have read all seem to share the same sensation of slowly ceasing to notice the symptoms or not experience them at all. Healing does not appear to be an all or nothing endeavor. I certainly agree with this assertion. In fact I would say that healing feels more like a stock market chart than a graph in which healing strategies/time directly correlate with recovery. Although the general trend has been positive there have been times along the way in which I find myself convinced that the way I feel is as good as it will get, that I will not feel any more normal. These feelings could not be further from the truth and have proven to be resoundingly incorrect. Some people are at their low points in experiencing DP/DR. Some people have experienced healing and not even recognized it, while others can point to little check points along the way to recovery that demonstrate their healing. If you need proof that what you are doing is working and you think you have recovered even a little just try to think of what life felt like over a given period of time. I would encourage everyone to journal as it has proven essential to my understanding and recognition of my sustained recovery. I can look back to my journal and see that I felt much worse 6 weeks ago and even worse 6 weeks before that. This is important to those of us who sensationalize and think that we will never get better and that we may even be getting worse. If you are reading this blog you have committed to living another day and you have successfully made it through every day prior to this one.

Another idea that I have been considering revolves around a way to understand what ails us with DP/DR. I think many people who experience the symptoms find that not knowing what we have is even more frustrating than the experience itself. I have concluded that DP/DR is nothing more than there being something wrong with us. Not "wrong" in the "I'm broke and can't fix it" way, but wrong in the sense that something has changed in our bodies and experience of the world that prevents us from living comfortably and happily. If you have DP/DR than something is not working with you. This is not something to fear as DP/DR is not a terminal illness, it is quite the opposite. For most of us the onset of symptoms is not a conscious decision we made to live life more miserably. However, there are circumstances in our lives that may catalyze DP/DR or make it worse. Although DP/DR feels like the end of the world and existence as we know it, perhaps a more appropriate way to view the symptoms is like the common cold or some other treatable illness. Of course it is not the common cold, but the point is that DP/DR is treatable, curable, and something that does not have to exist with any of us. Please keep in mind that nothing has changed about the world, your world, or the universe. Something has however caused you to view these things in a different light. Everything that is going on with you makes you think that you have something to fear, but in reality your mind, your negative thought patterns, and perhaps a chemical imbalance in the brain is making you feel not like yourself.

Additionally, I have been greatly helped by my conscious attitude of seeing my symptoms as something different from me and something that I can recognize as a problem I have the power to address. I have previously stated that I dismiss the thoughts and feelings that I have regarding DP/DR. I acknowledge that when I feel bad or obsess over existential thoughts that there is something wrong with me that I am working through right now. I have not "freaked out" about these feelings in a few days and have been rewarded with considerably more feelings of normalcy. You do have to make a decision though as to how you are going to view your symptoms and subsequently your recovery. If you allow your negative thinking and the symptoms to take control of your recovery than you will have a hard time moving past DP/DR. A glass half full approach is essential to recovery.

Finally, I want you to recognize that you are still a normal person. Even if you no longer know what normal means or even what a human is, you are still essentially the same as the billions of people who do not live with DP/DR. Any time I have an odd thought or find myself wondering how I am able to do the things I do in life, or what a human is, or if I have autonomy I quickly remind myself that these thoughts are harmful and abnormal, but I am ok. And guess what? You are ok too!


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