# They are throwing drugs at me and nobody seems to give me a diagnosis



## Lostman (Aug 15, 2011)

I really need some help so if you are reading this please give me your thoughts, i need some words from someone that understands what I am going through.

My doctor keeps suggesting I have DR, he will not confirm it, he just keeps saying that it is his "working diagnosis" but this has been going on for 7 weeks and I am breaking up. He started me on some drugs called Mirtazapine 15mg and I was on them for two weeks with no effects. He then increased the dose to 45mg and I have been on this for 5 days and still nothing.

I have lost all connection to those around me (I have a blog at http://maplessjourney.blog.com/ if you want background and detail)and I am now getting consumed by anger towards everyone and everything around me. I spoke with my Dr on the telephone today and he has just put me on Seroquel XL - I have 50mg tablets but he has not told me how much to take or even why I am taking them.

My world is literally falling apart and this inner rage is controlling my every thought, I want to leave everything I know and escape this hell but my family have removed all methods of me escaping (money, cards, passport etc).

I am being asked a thousand times a day how i feel and i want to scream!! No specialist seems to take my living hell seriously and they just seem to throw more drugs at me without any consideration or explanation. I have read the information with these drugs and they take two weeks to work and I know I cannot cope with this for two weeks, I need to escape this hell that is my life because nobody seems to want to listen to how I really feel.

I hate everything and yet i feel nothing, im hoping one of you can offer me some lifeline.


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## FacelessJane (Apr 1, 2011)

I feel for you. I know what it feels like to be where you are, emotionally. You're fed up with how you feel, your disorted perceptions, and that nobody can understand what you're going through. You're in a fog.

When I got to the point of being fed up with being depressed and feeling DP/DR, something in me shifted. I felt a deep strength that couldn't be shaken. A strength to propel me into action. With DP/DR, I felt like I had been up against a wall, I felt deep despair and anxiety. When the shift occurred, I was figuratively pushing myself off the wall and launched into a running start.

My DP/DR was caused by a codependent relationship and marijuana use. After my aforementioned shift, I stopped using MJ and a few months later broke up with my boyfriend to free myself from the codependence. I started working on myself. Here's what worked for me:

acceptance of symptoms and where i am in life and who i am in the moment (both physically and chemically, your brain is used to being anxious and emotionally volatile. you have to accept this and try to move forward to heal your brain by being understanding and kind to yourself)
hydration (and really cut back on soda and caffeine)
healthy diet (less simple sugars, simple carbs, dairy, oils, and processed foods)
yoga (not on a regular basis, but whenever i felt like it - it gives me strength, helps with active concentration and with 'inhabiting your body')
cardiovascular exercise (gets oxygen to your brain to help it heal)
supplements: sublingual b-12, b-complex, gingko biloba, fish oil, 5-HTP
cognitive-behavioral therapy
NO PSYCH MEDICATIONS (I was prescribed them long ago, and stopped using them years before DP/DR was in the forefront. I strongly believe that some pharma drugs have a way of prohibiting the efficacy of cognitive-behavioral re-wiring techniques)
're-wiring' my brain during anxious thought processes (noticing and assessing irrational thoughts)
positive affirmations (to some extent)
music that resonates with me (it's a kind of meditation for me, I suppose)
being in nature
conscious awareness brought about by seeking spirituality (i mainly reflect on symbolism and interconnection)

Hang in there. You will get better - believe it! Commit yourself to getting better. If you can't heal your mind at the moment, then heal your body - your mind will follow.


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## lurchette (Aug 5, 2011)

U may find yr anger is a side effect of the Mirtazapine .
My mum is on the same one and experiences terrible anger,she previously was the most outwardly calm person ever. Just a thought
No doctors seem to listen so u are not alone there. Hang in with the tabs they will start to work I was feeling the same way the other week and if u feel unbearable go back to see yr doc.
Pester the life out of them cos when u stay away they assume yr better and chalk it up as another success.Cld u ask for some tranquilizers to see u thru the worst of the 2 weeks?
It will pass, all the best


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