# Please, help



## mayumi_ (Aug 5, 2018)

Hello! I would like to share how I've been feeling lately and something that I noticed has been happening continuously and maybe someone can relate.

Firstly, I would like to mention a little about my story around DR.

The first time that I can remember I felt a symptom was when I was around the second year of high school. I was coming home from school on foot and I got this feeling that I lost the senses of my body and my body was walking on its own.

Since then, now that I'm in the last year of college, 4 years later, I've had DR nonstop. There are some periods where the symptoms are very mild and others that they are intense. Somehow, I've always managed to control it, it was bearable and it wouldn't persist for very long.

This semester has been really stressful, due to problems with the studies, work and just my life in general. I've never gone to a psychiatrist so I don't know if I have depression but lately I've this constant feeling that I have no energy at all, not even to see my friends or things that I enjoyed to do before. My emotions feel so numb, nothing really excites me or makes me sad anymore. Last week, I had the worst episode of DR of my life. For 3 days, more or less, at night I would completely feel disconnected of my body as if in a dream. Talking to people was so difficult, it demanded so much of me to act "normal". The scariest thing was that I couldn't feel the things I touched and even moving was reaaaally weird and robotic! I had to get a cup of hot tea to actually feel the warmth and calm myself because I was getting so much anxiety that I was going crazy.

After that I've noticed that every situation where I face some difficulty e.g: as basic as trying repeatedly to enter an account and messing up the password or overwhelming situations at work; the immediate thought that comes to mind is "is this a dream? is this real? where am I?". It's really bizarre like for a mili second I lose conscience of my surroundings and where I am and just feel really disconnected. Over and over.

It's so stressful to deal with this. It is really clear to me that it's an irrational mechanism of my body to protect me and that's what I try to think to calm myself. Yet it is so energy draining to feel it at every little bothersome situation of my day. Does someone feel the same as me?

I'm sorry for the rant and thank you if you read it.


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## Pupper (Aug 13, 2018)

mayumi_ said:


> Hello! I would like to share how I've been feeling lately and something that I noticed has been happening continuously and maybe someone can relate.
> 
> Firstly, I would like to mention a little about my story around DR.
> 
> ...


Hey there. First, thank you for sharing your situation.

I personally do not have DP/DR. but my girlfriend is going through a rough patch right now. She has bad depression and is getting worse with her DP. Do you have any coping mechanisms that you find really work for you?

I know I don't know what you're going through, but I am proud of you for staying strong. <3


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## peaches66 (Sep 2, 2014)

Mayumi! I've felt many similar things to what you describe and I just wanted to say you're doing better than you think you are, and when it feels overwhelming remember to take a breathe and tell yourself you're ok.

Since you're in your last year of school I should congratulate you! it's very hard to focus and manage tasks with dissociation and academia isn't always easy. Do you have any techniques for grounding or focusing? I'd love to know your secrets. What helps me is planning a time to relax and focus on myself; no tasks or big questions. Usually early morning or after work.

No matter your circumstance, remember that it will get better. You Heal as Well as You Think You Feel. So make sure you take care of your health and stress level the best you can







I hope things go well for you


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## mayumi_ (Aug 5, 2018)

Pupper said:


> Hey there. First, thank you for sharing your situation.
> 
> I personally do not have DP/DR. but my girlfriend is going through a rough patch right now. She has bad depression and is getting worse with her DP. Do you have any coping mechanisms that you find really work for you?
> 
> I know I don't know what you're going through, but I am proud of you for staying strong. <3


Hey! Thank you so much for your kind message!

You know, it's awesome that you're in a DP/DR forum because of her. This condition is so abstract that sometimes even ourselves think we're going crazy, let alone other people. So I'm sure she appreciates your support very much.

I really hope she gets better soon too! <3


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## mayumi_ (Aug 5, 2018)

peaches66 said:


> Mayumi! I've felt many similar things to what you describe and I just wanted to say you're doing better than you think you are, and when it feels overwhelming remember to take a breathe and tell yourself you're ok.
> 
> Since you're in your last year of school I should congratulate you! it's very hard to focus and manage tasks with dissociation and academia isn't always easy. Do you have any techniques for grounding or focusing? I'd love to know your secrets. What helps me is planning a time to relax and focus on myself; no tasks or big questions. Usually early morning or after work.
> 
> ...


When I saw your message I was at work and I swear my eyes started watering. Sounds so dramatic, but it was the first time someone could relate to what I was saying and I got emotional hahaha.

"You Heal as Well as You Think You Feel" - that is a great saying and it is so true to DP/DR. As soon as we can understand what causes it and try to think about it in a different perspective, it really is mind opening about how to deal with it.

Be well, I hope things get better for you too! <3


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## mayumi_ (Aug 5, 2018)

Pupper said:


> Hey there. First, thank you for sharing your situation.
> 
> I personally do not have DP/DR. but my girlfriend is going through a rough patch right now. She has bad depression and is getting worse with her DP. Do you have any coping mechanisms that you find really work for you?
> 
> I know I don't know what you're going through, but I am proud of you for staying strong. <3





peaches66 said:


> Mayumi! I've felt many similar things to what you describe and I just wanted to say you're doing better than you think you are, and when it feels overwhelming remember to take a breathe and tell yourself you're ok.
> 
> Since you're in your last year of school I should congratulate you! it's very hard to focus and manage tasks with dissociation and academia isn't always easy. Do you have any techniques for grounding or focusing? I'd love to know your secrets. What helps me is planning a time to relax and focus on myself; no tasks or big questions. Usually early morning or after work.
> 
> ...


I noticed that my DR would get a lot worse after watching heavy/pessimistic TV shows or even after reading news. So, if you notice that, try to distance yourself a bit from those things. It sounds kind of silly, but deep down it does have an huge effect in our conscience.

As for my coping methods I would say meditation has helped me a lot. Since I realized one of my main triggers of DR is anxiety; taking deep breaths and repeating assertive thoughts that you're ok and real. There are some videos on youtube, search for "depersonalization meditation".

Headspace has an app and a playlist on spotify that has great meditation audios!

Apart from that, trying to not isolate myself from people (which is something I tend to do), not just phisically but mentally too, is something that helps me get back grounded on my feet. Of course, people you feel comfortable with.

That's all I can think of right now. I would love to hear suggestions of what works for you too.


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