# Relationships



## Smee (Apr 21, 2011)

Hi I was just wondering if anyone on here with Dp has a healthy,loving, stable relationship?


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Smee said:


> Hi I was just wondering if anyone on here with Dp has a healthy,loving, stable relationship?


I am and it has given me reason to not give up. DP IS stressful on relationships - so we do suffer but hold it together despite it.


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Me too and it is tough sometimes because my intrusive negative thoughts all circle around those things, which are most important to me, so they also act on my relationship. But this relationship is what kept me going the last 10 months, so I will NOT give up on it.


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

Thanks for that question; I've been thinking about dp and relationships more, since Neziroglu's book on dp mentions people with it having relationship trouble, and my therapist pointed out that I seem to have trouble on that level. I do have some pretty strong friendships these days, and good relationships with loved ones like family members, but really finding someone to open up to seems to be really tough for me, moreso since the dp started, I think.

Mine started after a breakup, so it makes sense that it would get in the way of intimacy, but knowing that doesn't make it more fun. I've only been in one serious relationship in my 8 years of dp, that lasted for about a year and a half, and it never felt like I was able to open up to her. I always felt guarded, armored, like there was a me that she could never know, and that me was going to break up with her to find a better relationship. It wasn't like I had any big secrets from her; she knew about the dp, even, and was cool with it. But I carried that feeling with me constantly, like I wasn't and couldn't be there for her.

I've dated casually, a little bit, in the few years since that relationship, and that same feeling always comes. Not fun. But there's the other side of that, where dp may be serving the necessary psychological purpose of giving me space to work on myself, and be a better fit in close relationships. Don't know for sure


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

It takes a whole lot of effort and commitment.

I am thinking of taking a break from all my relationships. I just keep on ending up in painful situations.

(am talking about non romantic relationships)


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

A key point in relationships (romantic or just friends) is mutual respect. Also, not trying to change the other person (it is hard enough to change things about oneself).

If they don't respect you much - how can there be a positive relationship? And if you don't feel respect (note: there is a difference between feeling respect and showing respect) for someone - it is a waste of your time and emotions.


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