# Constantly embarrassing myself!



## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

I just had a skills tutorial class at university and it was horrible!

Basically, we had to do a load of tasks which involved thinking on the spot. We then went round the group and had to report back on our findings / answers.

Every time we had to do something I INSTANTLY forgot what the tutor had said. I then became super anxious about what people were thinking of me.

With DP I AM MENTALLY DEFICIENT to the point where I feel like I should be in a special needs class. I am doing a very demanding psychology degree (science degree) and I feel like such an idiot! I really hate it so much because I used to be so smart!!!!

It's like every time I embarrass myself like this it's another little traumatic experience that makes me feel even more DP'd! God, it's so fucking hard!!!! Everyone was looking at me like I was dirt. Like I was fucking nothing.

What can I do? It's so hard to the point of being impossible!!!


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

never_giving_up said:


> I just had a skills tutorial class at university and it was horrible!
> 
> Basically, we had to do a load of tasks which involved thinking on the spot. We then went round the group and had to report back on our findings / answers.
> 
> ...


The cognitive 'sluggishness' some of us suffer is frustrating, sometimes debilitating. This is something I'm focused on more than anything else - though it often goes hand-in-hand with fatigue and brain-fog.

It isn't that we are stupid. It's like slow/retarded but still actually smart. Feels like walking in molasses.

In a situation like you just had it can be embarrassing. In social situations I don't mind because I don't look sick and only then do people start to 'get it' that something is actually wrong. But for school and employment - Ooouuuuuch!

Don't know what else to say to encourage you but there will be a solution.

Are you taking any medications?

What are your other DP symptoms now?


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Visual Dude said:


> The cognitive 'sluggishness' some of us suffer is frustrating, sometimes debilitating. This is something I'm focused on more than anything else - though it often goes hand-in-hand with fatigue and brain-fog.
> 
> It isn't that we are stupid. It's like slow/retarded but still actually smart. Feels like walking in molasses.
> 
> ...


Not on any medication. Although I wonder if medication will help me.

What are my symptoms?

Emotional numbness, mental fog, visual snow, muscular tension, memory loss, poor concentration, difficulty comprehending / processing new information, difficulty with long-term planning, difficulty sleeping. The list could continue but I think you get the general idea.


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

never_giving_up i can relate a lot. This shit is effecting my learning a lot. I am constantly having to recall what was said, what was read, and i am finding it hard to process information. I find it hard because i am 18 in April and i screwed up in school so badly. Its vital that i start working now, but it is hard with this illness. I am also fatigued, i sat down to finish my work yesterday and it took about 40mins to write 3 paragraphs. And most of the time i kept zoning out and daydreaming without realising it, kind of like when you're tired and you start falling asleep in a car but then you keep waking up. For me it could be my medication making things worse, im not sure i guess its just DP/DR though.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

I go along for an hour or two and then, 'bang' brain freeze







- almost like a seizure state. Then the day is shot. Am learning certain signs of feeling it coming and then switch topics or what I am doing. Later come back to it. Getting more functioning time this way. Of course one doesn't have the option at school or work to do this.

Kind of excited. Found a doctor who is a member of NORA and familiar with the functional defects of the breakdown of ambient visual processing (clearly my issue with DR). Don't know what he can do but if I can resolve the fatigue and cognitive issues, I could possibly work again. [ Caution







, caution







, caution







&#8230; don't get my hopes up too high ]


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

FUCK them! honestly, you know who you are and most importantly is that YOU KNOW HOW TO BEST TAKE IN INFORMATION AND LEARN! i cant think on the spot myself, mostly because im not that kind of person. we all have our strengths and we build up on them.

i remember my worst semester at college, it was my graduation year of design school and have been working on a project for the entire semester. when it came to presenting during final reviews, i froze. i swear to god my mind went blank. i froze and simply didnt continue. my teacher came to my rescue and presented the project for me infront of jurors. i recall having one month long dreams/nightmares where i revisit that exact moment.

regarding medication, in all honesty i wonder if i should have taken it during college. i did not because i didnt know what DP was and i was reluctant to take it for anxiety. graduating was difficult but i managed. if i knew what i know now i would have done things differently, because as much as we need an education we need to take of ourselves at the same time.

let this incident past you, youll knock 'em dead next time!


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