# Hey there just joined!



## Captain Connor (Jan 29, 2013)

Hey guys!

I've basically self diagnosed myself with depersonalization - not so much the unreality bit though. everything is how it should be but i've lost my ability to get lost in a conversation with friends and family, enjoy doing things i would normally love doing, became self obsessed and i'm constantly worrying about not being the "normal" me & i feel numb but there is a hopelessness feeling that will make me break down to now and again. I used to be a leader now i've become and insignificant shit version of myself.

Currently i'm off my work but that has became another worry in itself. I'm a lifeguard so i have quite alot of time to think and that wasn't helping as i was constantly questioning myself. I will ask myself questions that can't be answered like "how am i speaking" it goes beyond that and sometimes i feel i'm losing my mind. Basically i got this from smoking weed back in December, it lasted a couple of weeks (long enough) and i went to the doctors and he basically gave me reassurance that i'd be ok and it fully went away in a couple of days me turning back to my "normal" self. over new year, stupidly i tried staying up all night drinking and took half an ecstasy tablet. i was totally fine all night even into the next day i was but i came to a point i didnt feel right. i went home to sleep it off and woke up just feeling drained and depressed and feeling numb. it has now been over 3 weeks and i feel i'm turning into a different person, i can't sleep i've hardly been out the house and can't cope in social situations. looking at myself in the mirror knowing it's me but not feeling like me a general numb feeling with moments of being terrified and it's totally getting to me. I would hate to live the rest of my life like this my head is sore with all the worry and i can't seem to just stop worrying and enjoy something to take my mind off it. I live in Scotland and there doesn't seem to be much knowledge of this condition we have free healthcare so any suggestions would be much appreciated. I want my old life back.


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## Tatra tsul (Nov 28, 2010)

Acceptance is key, it's just your imagination trying to cope with problems so try doing what you used to love to do, or find new things! Good luck! See a doctor or therapist, talking to real people helps more than this website...


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## Captain Connor (Jan 29, 2013)

Thanks for the feedback! Yeah i guess it would it's just the worst feeling in the world when you get those feelings in the middle of a conversation & you feel so boring and unexcited about everything but i guess there's no other option cause sitting in worrying about everyday isn't gona help.


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## JJ70 (Nov 1, 2010)

> I've basically self diagnosed myself with depersonalization - not so much the unreality bit though.





> I'm a lifeguard so i have quite alot of time to think and that wasn't helping as i was constantly questioning myself. I will ask myself questions that can't be answered like "how am i speaking" it goes beyond that and sometimes i feel i'm losing my mind. Basically i got this from smoking weed back in December, it lasted a couple of weeks (long enough) and i went to the doctors and he basically gave me reassurance that i'd be ok and it fully went away in a couple of days me turning back to my "normal" self. over new year, stupidly i tried staying up all night drinking and took half an ecstasy tablet. i was totally fine all night even into the next day i was but i came to a point i didnt feel right. i went home to sleep it off and woke up just feeling drained and depressed and feeling numb. it has now been over 3 weeks and i feel i'm turning into a different person, i can't sleep i've hardly been out the house and can't cope in social situations. looking at myself in the mirror knowing it's me but not feeling like me a general numb feeling with moments of being terrified and it's totally getting to me


@ Captain Connor, the good news is (unless you have any more symptoms to describe).......then if you have Depersonalization it is extremely mild to say the least ...if you have it at all.

Your symptoms sound much more like depression with a touch of anxiety.............generally much better known by the medical profession and usually much easier to recover from.

You also sound like your just having a bit of "general head fuck" for want of a better term, often related to drugs.

I'd advise seeing your GP.

Good luck with your recovery

JJ


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## ph10 (Nov 24, 2012)

Sounds like you've got a really mild sort of DP and be glad for that. but I understand how even DP in it's smallest form can hit you like a freight train. The trick is to simply relax your mind and turn your focus to something other than your own mind.


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