# Anyone experience anything similiar?



## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

My first time getting into an anxiety cycle was at 23. I was nervous day an night. I was dizzy all day, jittery, sleepy all the time, palms always sweating, couldn't sit still, couldn't sleep well at night, I was on verge of panic attacks, my heart Would pound, I had pressure in my head, my brain felt squirmy, I would hav like some sort of head rush, my hands an feet would b cold, I felt off balance an more I had a lot of anxiety symptoms. After worrying for a few weeks about all these symptoms I developed DP/DR the bad boy of the symptoms. Everything around me felt unreal. I felt fake. I didn't want to b around ppl cause they felt fake. When I would talk I sounded funny like it wasnt me. When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize myself. Outside looked funny to me an inside my house look weird. Just like nothing was real. I felt numb, empty, emotionless. I was scared to look at my parents an talk to them just cause it felt like it wasnt happining. All of this put me in depression were I felt so down an hopeless. Like a hole in my stomach. I feared everything an just wanted it all to stop. I lost interest in MMA, weight training, music everything. I was losing my relationship with my gf also. I was wen blaming her. Felt like I didn't love her anymore. One day while talking to my mother about my problems she told me about how she had bad thoughts about hurting ppl when she was in a anxiety cycle. My mother is the sweetest person most kind hearted person I know an she would never do anything like tht but she had those type of thoughts. The every next day my anxiety latched on to those thoughts an I strted having them. I'm not a violent person at all no abet problems or anything an I would never hurt anyone but I sure was plagued by those intrusive thoughts. It was horrible. An made my anxiety tht much more worse. So there I was nervous 24/7, depersonalized, I couldn't think straight, couldn't concentrate, I always felt like I had fever an heavy headed, zoned out, foggy head an I had a lot of intrusive thoughts going on. This all lasted around 10 months an finally I snapped out of it. I returned to my old self an strted going places again, strted training again playing music, living life to the fullest. This lasted almost two yrs. I slowly got to a spot where I was staying up late, working in the heat, training hard in the heat an staying up late. This went on for a long time. I had a very stressful job I had to do at work which resulted in me having a panic attack. I spent around two weeks recovering from it an was almost recovered completely when we had a scare when my fathers blood pressure was very high an had to go to the ER. My nerves were shot. From tht day on I began a worry cycle an slowly put my self back into a depersonalized stage which led me into slight depression. This go around in a cycle isn't as bad as before. My nerves have settled a lot as far as physical symptoms go but the DP/DR Is pretty bad. I have experienced slight intrusive thoughts but not bad. One day I spent the whole day thinking about DP/DL an I got into a mode of thinking tht everything must b fake. Like humans arnt real, tht everything is kinda like a sims game. Tht trees, cars everything is just fake. It feels like I'm the only one in this world. It's very distressing an it makes me nervous an adds on to depression. It sounds really stupid but it's the way of thinking tht I created an it just feels like I won't ever b able to rid myself of thoughts types of thoughts an thinkin. I am a example of it is possible to cure DP/DR without medicine or thearpy an even when it runs in ur family. my great grandmother had anxiety depression, my grandma has it, my mother has it. ifound my way out of a cycle once i know i can do it again. its just these thoughts an the feeling tht come with them r holding me in place. Anyone else experiences these types of thoughts?


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## SheWontFollow (Apr 16, 2013)

I'm pretty sure the majority of people on this site can relate to a lot to the things you're saying. I know I've felt a lot of those things in the past 8 months. You're very lucky to be one of those who have come out of this before. I'm sure you can do it again. It's very different having the experience of recovery for yourself than having a thousand people tell you it's possible. Try not to worry much about these thoughts and just keep in mind that one day you'll be back to feeling okay again.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

Yea I never thought I would get out of it I had soo many symptoms happen during my ten months of suffering but I managed to break loose of anxietys grip. An everything was back to normal an better. Now I repeated the process of putting myself back in a cycle. This time the DP/DR is a lil worse it seems an the thoughts tht come with it make anxiety tht much harder to deal with. I have sum clear days where for the most part I will feel normal unless I think about it an other days its a all day scare. What do u experience?


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## SheWontFollow (Apr 16, 2013)

I hope eventually I'll be able to get out of this too. A lot of the physical symptoms have gone away for me already but now I'm at the point where I'm constantly thinking about death and what this "living" thing really is. I question everything because it all doesn't make sense to me anymore. It's really just this deep nervewrecking feeling inside that something is really wrong.. but I can't figure out what it is. Did you experience this also?


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## Swansea (Jun 11, 2013)

Are you opposed to medication. Because sometimes medication can help prevent the anxiety and depression and then prevent you into going depersonalized. I'm on meds right now. Just started them. I am the absolute last person you would think to do medication... eat all organic food, super into alternative health-acupuncture, naturopathy, juicing, etc. But, now i'm giving the meditation a go while in CBT therapy.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

I yea. The first time I went through it I had soooo many things hopping anxiety, panic attacks, obsessive intrusive thoughts, depression. An I was knew to it so it was bad. This time everything has been fairly light on me except this time I ended up spending a day questioning existence an everything with it an since just been stuck. The DP has been the hardest this time to deal with especially with all the wat if an questions. Yea I tried meds for weeks an I had horrible side effects then tried them again later for two weeks an stopped. I just stuck it out an got better. I notice after a panic attack I would stay nervous for about a week or two. Filled with worry an questioning wat was goin on. After a while u get depersonalized wich follows sum depression an then obsessive or intrusive thoughts. An then ur anxious about DP, u get depressed cause u have DP, DP stays cause ur anxious an depressed. It all feeds on each other an it all come down to misunderstanding of anxiety. U begin to live in ur mind an it makes things so much worse. The answer is understanding anxiety an moving on from it. Not reading anymore about it, not thinking about it not speaking about it. Leave the questions unanswered. The more u search the more ur telling ur body there is somethin wrong reinforcing the thoughts, ur anxiety, ur DP. U have to learn to let go an ur old self will return.


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## D'annie (Jul 24, 2013)

this is exactly how i feel


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