# Christians and Depersonalization



## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Thought I put up a post to show support anyone of the Christian faith struggling with DP. Anyone is welcome to post here. No debating or anything like that please. No put downs. We are here to support one another. Spambots aren't welcome.

I'm actually struggling with my faith due to my depression, anxiety and symptoms of DP. I'm angry at myself, God, and the world...


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## Guest (Aug 18, 2008)

You're unable to point your finger at someone... so when you look down to your hand you find it pointing to yourself?

The most importance part of your thread is this "i'm angry at mysellf". That's the core issue here... may I ask why you're angry at yourself please?


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> The most importance part of your thread is this "i'm angry at mysellf". That's the core issue here... may I ask why you're angry at yourself please?


because i made so many bad choices and missed so many opportunities because of my distorted view of self and the world. i'm shy, insecure and defected.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Any embers of faith of any kind have been permanently extinguished by DP.
Many reasons why it was only embers, but dp is proof.
No struggle here.


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## Guest (Aug 18, 2008)

D-Tached said:


> because i made so many bad choices and missed so many opportunities because of my distorted view of self and the world. i'm shy, insecure and defected.


Bad choices? What kind of choices? May I ask your age?

So all this because of "your" distorted view of self & world? It isn't "your" disorder though, you didn't "choose" to have it, and so all those bad choices aren't fully your fault if your fault at all. I used to think like you... although it's easy to think like that. It's also some what easy to come out of it with CBT.


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## Guest (Aug 18, 2008)

Firstly you are not defected ,you are a human being.God is not giving you a hard time or punishing you ,you are giving you a hard time and punishing yourself
We all screw up,we all make bad choices EVERYBODY does,its part of life but eventually at a cirtain point in your life you come to see that all these bad choices ,all this suffering is never in vain......it will strengthen you ,teach you and serve you well in the future...what counts is what we take from the experiences,what we learn from our "bad" choices.
God would love you unconditionaly if you let that love in ,but with you not forgiving yourself,with you punishing yourself you cant hear it or feel it any longer..it doesnt mean god isnt there whatever you perceive god to be...God can not abandon anyone,unconditional love can not be destroyed by those conditions we place upon upon "god" or ourselves..it is we who abandons it with self hate,fear.....forgive yourself and know you are doing your best..youre not doing anything wrong.show yourself some love no matter whats happened/happens.. and there will find "gods" love within you.

When the sky is so cloudy that you cant see the blue clearness of it,has the sky disapeared?......of course not...its the same with "god"

I use " " over "god" because my veiw of god may be differant to your own..but thats ok isnt it..the message is still important.

Metta
Spirit.


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## Guest (Aug 19, 2008)

I cant beleive humanity hasnt come up to speed yet..i cant beleive people are still so conditioned by christian dogma to appear as to be sticking their head out from the dark ages whilst still being fooled by a notion that there is actually a big guy sitting up there in the sky waving a finger at us ,punishing us from his big sky cloud...,...its ridiculous..it sounds like a childrens book..the west is still retarded and needs to wake up...and humanity needs to take some responsibility for itself..its the ony way this world will heal.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> D-Tached said:
> 
> 
> > because i made so many bad choices and missed so many opportunities because of my distorted view of self and the world. i'm shy, insecure and defected.
> ...


Hey mate,

I'm 26 years old. There are countless good and bad choices we make and there are consequences and rewards from those choices. I honestly don't remember the choices I've made but I know I made some foolish ones.

But the thing is I'm not the person I was before and not the person I wanted to be...

I've decided to take everything as a challenge and this whole DP experience a lesson to take.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2008)

Spirit said:


> I cant beleive humanity hasnt come up to speed yet..i cant beleive people are still so conditioned by christian dogma to appear as to be sticking their head out from the dark ages whilst still being fooled by a notion that there is actually a big guy sitting up there in the sky waving a finger at us ,punishing us from his big sky cloud...,...its ridiculous..it sounds like a childrens book..the west is still retarded and needs to wake up...and humanity needs to take some responsibility for itself..its the ony way this world will heal.


I want to apologise incase this statement offended any christians ,that wasnt my intention,my intention was the complete ooposite infact.I know you started this thread for support D-Tached,so perhaps this wasnt the best place to state what I said.Sorry.

Spirit.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Spirit said:
> 
> 
> > I cant beleive humanity hasnt come up to speed yet..i cant beleive people are still so conditioned by christian dogma to appear as to be sticking their head out from the dark ages whilst still being fooled by a notion that there is actually a big guy sitting up there in the sky waving a finger at us ,punishing us from his big sky cloud...,...its ridiculous..it sounds like a childrens book..the west is still retarded and needs to wake up...and humanity needs to take some responsibility for itself..its the ony way this world will heal.
> ...


Hi Spirit,

It's all good and you're forgiven :mrgreen:

However, it's true when you said that, "humanity needs to take responsibility for itself"
We are all responsible for our actions.


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2008)

Thankyou.I got confused then,I was like "im sure D-tached started this thread,whos Hazelnutta" :? ..you changed your name!  love it.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

you're welcome and i'm glad you like the name change 

I want to highlight something.

When I was researching Depersonalization one of the things affected is our identity. It says that we lose our sense of self and identity. I went through this and still am!

As a Christian I'm supposed to know Who I am in Christ Jesus (here's the list: http://www.ficm.org/whoiam.htm). Right now, I am not worthy of anything 
I feel like I have so many identities, I don't which one to identify with. No wonder I am finding it so hard to fit in.

Long periods of unemployment caused me to lose my sense of self and identity...


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## Guest (Aug 27, 2008)

So the only proof you have got; that you've made bad choices in the past is how you feel now? Because if you don't remember them.... you can only assume you made bad choices... right? My fucking ear is inchin =I.



hazelnutta said:


> Hey mate,
> 
> I'm 26 years old. There are countless good and bad choices we make and there are consequences and rewards from those choices. I honestly don't remember the choices I've made but I know I made some foolish ones.
> 
> ...


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Probably... it seems like that.


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## Guest (Aug 27, 2008)

*1080 Barrel roll*


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> *1080 Barrel roll*


sorry, i didn't get that... :?


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## Guest (Aug 28, 2008)

Would it help if I told you I was drunk?


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

mmmmkay!!

:lol:

back to the topic...


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## Guest (Aug 28, 2008)

hazelnutta said:


> .
> 
> When I was researching Depersonalization one of the things affected is our identity. It says that we lose our sense of self and identity. I went through this and still am!
> 
> ...


I hope you dont mind me saying but I think theres probably more to it than long periods of unenployment,,,,What you describe -having differant selfs and not knowing which one you are...I had that really bad.Its not that you actually are differant personalities its just that your personality isnt intergrated as one.Thats caused by several possible things...and it can cause disociation....well it is a way of disociating.......in the sence that a make shift reality has been built to cope with life.

I didnt read the list,I dont want to know what the church or whoever says you "SHOULD BE" in their eyes....A good prayer is to ask christ how he sees you and that you may see yourself and love yourself as he does.You are as worthy as anyone else.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Before i go on, thanks for your encouragement and support  ur wonderful.

I was experiencing some extreme dissociation before. I'm guessin its due to lack of sleep.

That list contains selected verses from the Bible relating to one's identity in Christ.


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## NorrinRadd (Oct 16, 2007)

Hi.

I'm a Christian, and the dp/dr definitely messes with my faith. Any attempt to pray or worship can really ratchet up the dp/dr symptoms dramatically. Seriously troublesome.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

DP completely and absolutely ended my belief in any creator or god or anything.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

Why do you need such a belief? Do you/did you enjoy faith?


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

NorrinRadd said:


> Hi.
> 
> I'm a Christian, and the dp/dr definitely messes with my faith. Any attempt to pray or worship can really ratchet up the dp/dr symptoms dramatically. Seriously troublesome.


Yeah it sux. It messed me up big time too. It's HELL man, It's HELL!!


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Thought I bring this up again... I noticed some Christians popping up here every now and then on this forum.

I know Conjurus is one of them. However, he's part of the DP fam now :mrgreen:


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I define myself as an agnostic Christian. There are really two major worldviews about the origin of the universe and life...either it did itself or God did it. I dont think either one can be proven. Saying God did it just makes more sense to me, so I choose to believe in God. Once I established faith in God I studied quite a few religions to find what I thought was the correct one. I settled on Christianity.

I must confess however, Im not like most Christians. Im willing to accept that I dont have everything right, willing to accept that it must be impossible that everyone else has everything wrong. There must be a real truth out there that can be found collectively amongst the world's religions and sciences. For instance most Christians would not accept a tarot card reading, but I will.

The major difference between how I look at things and how most Christians look at things is this- If we have a "curse" placed on us that makes it our nature to sin... something we can do nothing about (the curse), then how could God ask us to live the holy life found in the Bible. Have you tried doing absolutely everything the Bible tells you to do to avoid sinning? It's impossible, I dont care who you are. My belief is that Christ died and paid for all sin- past, present, and future. He was the only one who could have lived a perfect life. The whole reason we Christians must put faith in Christ is because we cannot live a sinless life. All of that being said... if it's not against the law, and it doesnt hurt anyone, and it makes you happy...do it. I wont be shackled down by trying to live a holier than thou life. Of course I live by a basic moral code (what's naturally in most people). There's a fine balance to life and I dont think that balance is described very well in the Bible.

-No charge for all that 
-Jesse


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## guitarman (Dec 11, 2008)

SistA HazeL said:


> Thought I put up a post to show support anyone of the Christian faith struggling with DP. Anyone is welcome to post here. No debating or anything like that please. No put downs. We are here to support one another. Spambots aren't welcome.
> 
> I'm actually struggling with my faith due to my depression, anxiety and symptoms of DP. I'm angry at myself, God, and the world...


I have never been angry with God as I pretty much did this to myself. But I have to say that maybe my faith has taken a beating over the years. At one time I honestly thought that God had healed. After much prayer for God to heal me I had a dream one night that my body was disconnected in 2 and God had put them together. I actually felt great for a couple of years. Just lately I've been experiencing terrible feelings of DP and anxiety. I have to admit that in the recent past I have not followed my faith as I should have been. These feelings sure is a wake up call. 
If I ever think that I should be angry with God I just remember those like Joni Erickson who is completely paralyzed and will never walk. Yet she holds to her faith.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

guitarman said:


> If I ever think that I should be angry with God I just remember those like Joni Erickson who is completely paralyzed and will never walk. Yet she holds to her faith.


Hmm yeah people like that seem to humble me.

Have you heard of this guy? http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org

His name is Nick Vujicic. He's an Aussie. Born without arms and legs. He went through a lot as young one but now he turned out to be a great speaker of all sorts. He's a lovely guy.


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## nytesprite (Dec 3, 2005)

> I define myself as an agnostic Christian. There are really two major worldviews about the origin of the universe and life...either it did itself or God did it. I dont think either one can be proven. Saying God did it just makes more sense to me, so I choose to believe in God. Once I established faith in God I studied quite a few religions to find what I thought was the correct one. I settled on Christianity.
> 
> I must confess however, Im not like most Christians. Im willing to accept that I dont have everything right, willing to accept that it must be impossible that everyone else has everything wrong. There must be a real truth out there that can be found collectively amongst the world's religions and sciences. For instance most Christians would not accept a tarot card reading, but I will.
> 
> The major difference between how I look at things and how most Christians look at things is this- If we have a "curse" placed on us that makes it our nature to sin... something we can do nothing about (the curse), then how could God ask us to live the holy life found in the Bible. Have you tried doing absolutely everything the Bible tells you to do to avoid sinning? It's impossible, I dont care who you are. My belief is that Christ died and paid for all sin- past, present, and future. He was the only one who could have lived a perfect life. The whole reason we Christians must put faith in Christ is because we cannot live a sinless life. All of that being said... if it's not against the law, and it doesnt hurt anyone, and it makes you happy...do it. I wont be shackled down by trying to live a holier than thou life. Of course I live by a basic moral code (what's naturally in most people). There's a fine balance to life and I dont think that balance is described very well in the Bible.


I think you've described my belief system very well. I was raised a Christian (Protestant, to be exact). My family went to church every Sunday, I went to Sunday school, went through confirmation, all of that. In the past few years, though, I've really struggled with religion. I feel like I've prayed to God so many times for help with different things in my life. When I prayed, I stressed to God that I didn't want him to provide me with all the answers, just that He give me the strength I need to get through the problem on my own. Maybe I was too cynical, or maybe I wasn't listening hard enough, but I never felt like God was there.

Then, recently, I went to the Christmas pageant the church near here puts on every year that tells the story of Christ's birth and his life all the way up to the resurrection. All I kept thinking was, "Well, it's a great story, but is it really true, or is it just something our forefathers made up thousands of years ago to try to make everyone behave?" If God exists, if Jesus exists, why haven't we seen Him in over 2000 years? Why isn't there one solid piece of proof that He existed? It just seems like for everything involved in creation, we can credit some form of science for. Plenty of people are okay with the theory that there's no God, but for me, the concept is terrifying. No matter what has happened to me in my life before, no matter how bad things seemed, I'd pray and feel comforted knowing somehow that God would help me through it. The possibility that there's no God there at all... it's a little frightening. I sometimes end up with DP/DR after pondering a lot of really big, deep existential questions, and I think this question of my own faith may have contributed to it this time around.

So, has anyone else had a crisis of faith while going through DP/DR and somehow found a way back to their beliefs? If so, I'd be curious to hear about it. There's nothing I'd like more than to find my way back to that sort of blind faith I had when I was younger.


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## Guest (Jan 8, 2009)

guitarman said:


> At one time I honestly thought that God had healed. After much prayer for God to heal me I had a dream one night that my body was disconnected in 2 and God had put them together. I actually felt great for a couple of years. Just lately I've been experiencing terrible feelings of DP and anxiety. I have to admit that in the recent past I have not followed my faith as I should have been.


There are many precious lessons to learn from all of our experiences. Sometimes we can slip back and forget what life lessons we have learned and then the resulting suffering begins again. All you need to do is turn inwards to your heart and ask what it is that you have forgotton, your higher self will reveal the answer to you.

Prayer is very powerful, prayer without a specific result in mind is even more powerful. You should pray for healing but ask that everybody involved in the situation be healed, this will seal it with infinity.

As for not following your faith, the truth is within you, it allways was.

I wish you healing.

Astara


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## Guamboy (Jan 8, 2009)

this is for Nytesprite.

When I was in hight school before I go DP, I was in the Bible club. My faith was very strong then. I "preached" the word of God, I was happy, spiritually strong and even physically strong. I ended up having the DP, Anxiety, Depression and even Chronic Fatigue which lasted for 13 years.

To me, the concept of "religion" is that it brings out fear. "Fear" itself fuels Anxiety. So it became so hard for me to accept this. I was a Christian. But now, I just Believe in God, and just took away the "fear" factor out. I believe that there is some higher being. Though out the years of having DP, I even think to myself that we ( us human beings) are God and we just don't know it yet. I am now 90% cured. It took a long time for me, but sometimes we just have to find the answer within yourself. No one knows you better than yourself. I beieve that so many things in the bible are misinterpreted. It is "religion" that started many wars in the first place.

What helped me so much was "FORGIVING" and LETTING GO. I had a hard time forgiving myself. I had a lot of regret and I thought that God was punishing me. But then I realized that when I forgave myself...it was easier to forgive others. I was able to see myself in others. It was easier for me to GIVE, without expecting anything in return. I felt the "true magic" of giving. It felt good, and the more I gave, the easier it was for me to let go of fear. There is also some power in giving. I became a new "me".

I believe that our system world that we live in today has alot to do with our healing. The "MONEY" system, and how we separate ourselves by "religion" , "financial status" "sex", "origin" etc. etc. We expect too much from ourselves. We expect "The American Dream" and if we don't get it , it's a "big deal". I began to realize that ALL OF THIS is not our true nature. It is not our true expression. If you look at a small child and observe, you will see that they are the "true" expression of life. They are not yet misconstrued by our "system world" that we live in, until they start going to school. Feeding our brains will all this information and the question is....do we really need to know all of this information for the basic survival in this world? Did you know that there is really enough food to feed the entire world? I began to realize that we have lost connection with nature. I have met people who live in mountains in my homeland. They are spiritually strong. They were very happy people. And they hardly ever get sick. The are very respectful and loving. What did that tell me? Alot.

It was only then that I started to beieve that there are worse things happening out there besides what was happening to me. Because even if I had all these ailments ( DP, DR, Anxiety, Depression, Chronic Fatigue) somehow I could controll it and change it, but there are others who cannot change their situation regardless of prayer. Why don't we ask a starving young boy to pray to God to give them food? Would that be right? I then finally let go of me "ego". I see everyone as one. Humanity has lost its essence and we must bring it back.

I believe there is a reason we are all this way. I knew that the answer was always within. I am close to full recovery and I am beginning to see a very good future for me and my daughter.


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2009)

Beautiful post Guamboy,



> I believe that there is some higher being. Though out the years of having DP, I even think to myself that we ( us human beings) are God and we just don't know it yet.


I agree with that. I always say that powerful wonderful being is within us, nowhere else. All we need to do is remove the veil of ignorance. The illusion of imperfection causes people to create imperfection, everything is naturally perfect in reality. 
We are here to manifest that truth in our being. To realise it-To make real and to actualise it.


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