# Suicide rates among mental illnesses?



## Who_Am_I (May 19, 2009)

This question may seem a little "odd".
However here's what I'm faced with.
Nobody (including 2 psychologists, my GP and my family) really think this is a "big deal".
"I see people with anxiety all the time" the "professionals say".
My mom (dad's long gone) says: "I don't got the time to listen to you talk about this, if your doctors says you aren't schizo deal with it and get a job so you can move out".

Now that they don't take my 24/7 chronic, Panic disorder, BDD, OCD, DPDR, Depression serious enough to give a fuck.
I had body dysmorphia disorder since I was a kid age 10 ( I got over it ), but it linger and show it's satanistic face here n there, I'm still a perfectionist when it comes to my looks.
This started my suicidal ideation.
My depression started when my dad died, my girlfriend of 3 years left, my dog died and I was kicked out of school all in 1 month and on top of that busted for marijuana possession by the cops.
This is where I also broke down, got my first panic attacks (first of thousands, NO JOKE), full blown Pure O OCD, CHRONIC INTENSE DP DR and my depression just grew and grew as the years went by and everybody became something except for me.

Here's the irony the only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I can kill myself, it's the ultimate escape, my only real power.
I can't "will" my panic to stop, i can't will my ocd brain to stop producing thoughts, I can't will myself to happiness or will myself back into reality.

I bet if there was a scale 1-10 about suicidalness, I'd be 11.
I constantly wonder "what if I just swallowed 200 valiums and 100 oxazepam pills and mixed them with a bunch of alcohol and then snorted a few grams of cocaine just to make sure I was done for.
This is my daily thought, it's like "if I don't cure within the end of this summer, im out of here, either I will become something, or nothing LITERALLY".

Now this would atleast be way better if my psychologists and GP didnt just steal my money and actually practiced some medicine.
I've even threatned them a few times, just to spark some "ok this kid may be seriously in pain", but due to the lack of emotion in me, they are just like: "ok let's just calm down now, we know this is just some frustration and steam your letting out".
WTF? I've been contemplating bringing my gun so many times to one of these places and go VA Tech on their ass, but ofcourse I know better, if I'm in this much pain, I'll kill my self, never anyone else.

It's just if I atleast could show my mom that the suicide rate among people with Panic disorder is X and people with DPDR is X and OCD is X and Depression is X and BDD is X, MAYBE her maternal instinct that I haven't seen since i was 6 would wake up and say "hey, maybe I need to give my son atleast some attention and love and let him know that I want what's best of him, not just to get him out of my house".
Because I KNOW deep within me that suicide is the only way when I'm kicked out in 2,5months...

Do anyone have any statistics?
I need to let these mother*F*U*C*K*E*R*S know that Panic DPDR OCD Depression BDD is not just some make belief.


----------



## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

i know there's some statistic about dp, which is like 67% of dp sufferers have contemplated suicide but that's all i know.


----------



## Guest (Jun 12, 2009)

If you're suicidal then it's affecting you enough to prove to these people that it's not just anxiety. It's absolutely disgusting that Doctors are putting your threats of suicide down to letting off some steam! Have they no idea how serious the situation has now become? and it's a waste of your money too.
I'd get a second opinion from another doctor. Tell them everything you've said here. You've been through a lot and things like OCD are bad enough as it is. You need the right treatment and a better level of support from your GP. Please do not harm yourself. You can and will beat these feelings you have now and you'll see how amazing life is. My doctors haven't done anything that really helped me, in fact they wasted my time with a cousellor that seemed a bit fucked up. I think that eatting healthy, exercise and looking after yourself will make a huge difference and you'll feel so much better. I urge you to seek advice about these suicial thoughts tho!! and don't let them get away with, your just letting off some steam because how the fuck do they know whats just letting off steam and actually being serious about it. I hope you feel better soon.
Take care,
Laura.


----------



## Johnny Dep (Feb 8, 2009)

Just to be blunt I've given up on getting normal people to understand my problems. My main problem is Avoidant Personality Disorder, trying getting people to understand that. I really think the academic community has not figured this stuff out and until they do we are screwed. But there is no interest in figuring it out. Don't hold your breath waiting for a headline that says "Government Urges Massive Spending To Help Shy, Harmless People."


----------

