# Survivor with DP



## Isabel (Jul 27, 2007)

Hello everyone.
My name is Isabel, 20, from Germany. I am the hostess for a Multiple System of more than 30 alters. Our firstborn was suffering from DP for years and it was one of the factors that contributed to her death last year. Now I found this site and I hope to find people like me, having gone through and still going through what they call hell. I seem to be persistently (is that the right word?) in DP and DR. I don't feel anything, have no reality. My face is a mask I am bound to wear day after day. I often wonder where I am really. Who, what or if I am. I was trying to numb the symptoms, taking high dosages of neuroleptics or trying naltrexon. None of this seems to bring any relief, however. I have been like that forever. I cannot remember a life before this "state". Now I was told that I have never ever been real in that human way. I have never been part of that world. So now, here I am, struggling so hard to find my way back to a place where I have never been.
Love and hugs,
Isabel

I should add that one or two of my alters are likely to post here at well. Maybe this is the place where Nora can finally start to speak. Nora, hun, nobody forces you. Do what you want to. We would all juz appreciate your speaking.


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## brandon is not taken (Mar 29, 2007)

welcome - all 30 of you.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

Dear Isabel,

Welcome. Sorry for the trauma that must have created all of these alters, but I wonder if it might be more constructive for you to join a DID forum?

Depersonalization and derealization are dissociative disorders but they are not DID. I don't know if you can get help here from others as many may not understand what you need.

It is also of some concern to me that you will be possibly be posting (wihtout knowing) under different names.

Have you looked into DID (MPD) forums on the web?

I don't think there are any multiples here, though a good number of people who can attribute their DP to trauma (not all). Welcome for DP support, I was just concerned that your MPD/DID will not get as much understanding here. I may be wrong.

Take Care,
D 8)


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## Isabel (Jul 27, 2007)

I did never intend seeking answers to the problems created by DID. I just thought that this may be a place to talk about DP, which is also a problem of us. We are already members on several DID sites but as you may know DID is not DP and DP not DID. Here we juz wanna find people to talk to about DP. Is that okay?


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

Isabel said:


> I did never intend seeking answers to the problems created by DID. I just thought that this may be a place to talk about DP, which is also a problem of us. We are already members on several DID sites but as you may know DID is not DP and DP not DID. Here we juz wanna find people to talk to about DP. Is that okay?


Isabel you are %1,000 welcome! I do understand that DID is not DP/DR and that however one can have DID WITH DP/DR.

I just thought from the original post that you felt that people here would be able to understand DID. DP/DR is difficult to understand!

No worries, not saying you aren't welcome here! Forgive.

Perhaps _*you will be able to teach us*_ more about DID!

Just couldn't tell from the first post.

Again, welcome.
D 8)


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## Isabel (Jul 27, 2007)

Great...well I don't know if I will be so good as a teacher, but whenever there will be questions, I will try to explain...
Hugs, Isabel


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