# Dead



## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

Why do I feel like I feel way more dead then everyone on here? Like literally dead. I am somehow still this hollow body with I suppose enough brain activity to allow me to write this but other then that.... wiped out of existence.

Zero human presence. I can't stress that enough. Barely hanging on. Anyone?


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Used to be like this for a Long time myself. It feels utterly ridiculous. Still kinda am, but theres still a part of me that is alive 

Did you try meds?


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

Totally relate. Trying to hang on...sometimes every moment is difficult.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Ive been like that many times (barely hanging on)...Medicine took me out of it and helps me live a somewhat reasonable life...But i still have my tough days...

Im a 6 or 7 out of ten on my best days....Probably average about 5...Im ok...Never great, just ok...without medicine i would be exactly like you coffeegirl9....probably worse...Lots of us on here have been and are where you are....We can all relate to how your feeling...Its a f*****g death sentence to be honest...A hellish existence...

In fact if medicine hadnt helped me I would probably have taken my own life long ago...

There was no way I was gonna live the rest of my life in that awful state of mind...... Thank God meds gave me relief...

I read somewhere recently about a french writer from way back who had untreated DP for many years...He often refered to it as "THE FILTH" in his books...Perfect description!


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## Jkbobell (Feb 1, 2015)

Would you happened to know the name of the author or book? That is a perfect description.



eddy1886 said:


> I read somewhere recently about a french writer from way back who had untreated DP for many years...He often refered to it as "THE FILTH" in his books...Perfect description!


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

eddy1886 said:


> Ive been like that many times (barely hanging on)...Medicine took me out of it and helps me live a somewhat reasonable life...But i still have my tough days...
> 
> There was no way I was gonna live the rest of my life in that awful state of mind...... Thank God meds gave me relief...


Did you have a kind of "ego death?" It's like an always blank/silent mind (no inner voice), with no "ego" present to motivate you to do anything.

And if you did, you're saying meds took you out of that and gave you your ego/inner voice back?


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

Check out the thread up right now, "Depersonalization Mentioned in American Psycho." We understand how you feel. Many people do. This condition is frequently mentioned in clinical settings, and seldom mentioned outside of them. We can't see in other people's heads, meaning we can't tell how many people are feeling the same way as us. The internet is helpful for that. You've come to the right place.


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

yes i'm like this too. and i'm always afraid. i don't know why.


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## Aly (Jun 13, 2016)

yep, can relate 100%. I'm nothing


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

Oh I blasphemed big time, got a person vendetta with the Lawd Almighty


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

I was struggling for a few months with what I think was depression and dp/dr feeding off each other. Racing thoughts, "fighting" my mind and state until the stress became overwhelming and my mind/psyche couldn't deal with it anymore and decided to dissociate. I was laying in bed one morning, having lots of negative thoughts and emotions - about the future, about how I can't cope, etc. and then my mind suddenly went blank/silent.


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