# Relapse



## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

Last year these days I was at the last steps of my recovery, and I thought I would never post here again.

The end of 2018 and 2019 were amazing. I went on exciting trips, I thrived in university, I found a boyfriend. I was alive again and I was grateful. I thought I was cured forever.

Then I pushed it too much. This summer I was home from university for two months straight (I don't really like it here), I didn't take a break from studying because I have a big exam in September and then finally I broke up with my boyfriend because the relationship had become toxic.

I thought I was handling fine but then a couple of days ago while studying I started feeling dizzy, and then in a split second everything around me was weird again. My feelings instantly got numb, my interests disappeared, and it felt like this amazing year I had has never happened. I feel trapped in DP again.

I immediately called both my therapist and my psychiatrist and they said not to worry, relapses are normal and never last as long as the first episode. And I know I should trust them more than I trust my sick mind right now, but I'm just terrified at the thought that I have to go through 5/6/7 months of HELL again. I just don't think I can do it this time, just a year later. I'm trying to stay positive, let the thoughts come and go. I know it's just the stress I put myself through but I'm scared.

Did anyone experience the same pattern? Is it true that relapses are never as severe as the first time? Do the meds that helped the first time usually always work?

I can't go through that again, this time I'm not gonna make it.


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## Pablopizah (Aug 29, 2019)

Hey chiara, that sucks your back at it , whenever i relapse on anxiety or panic attacks it feels like the worse one , right now im having a bad time im new to dp, and its very distressing, but i have resd your old posts and you seemed so confident in recovery! And you recovered , this hsppened to me with anxiety sttacks i was so confident , when i was doing good , and our stories seem so similar i wss doikg fine from 2017 till may 2019 it hit me so bad , but remember relapses are a think and even if things seems worse remember that you have already been through it, remember what you did last time that was good, and remember what was bad , do the good! Dont repeat the bad! Im compeltly sure you will be ok, it might take time like last time, but youll make it just fine, lesrn from this experience and think ehat triggered it , maybe you where stressing to much? Or having unhealthy habits? Whatever it was you can always lesrn from the experience


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

Hi! Thanks for your reply. I am very sorry you are experiencing this as well. I know relapses are a thing but it took me by surprise how it only took a split second to go back to feeling horrible. I was really confident about my recovery because I did fine for months and months-it's been almost a year since my recovery. 
The last few months have been stressful indeed and I think my break up was the straw that breaks the back. I read my posts as well and it gives me a lot of hope but I also feel like I'm stuck in this nightmare again and I just don't want to relive that, because it was extremely painful on so many levels. 
Anyway I will go see my doctor on Monday and hopefully he can clear things out for me and give me some sort of relief. Take care!


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## Speedy69 (Apr 15, 2019)

Follow the common steps of recovery. Acceptance that it’s anxiety which you know it is from stress. Do not fall victim of obsessing on this site or spending all day worrying about it. Since the relapse just happened move on. Don’t fall and start obsessing that’s what locks you in. Don’t read up on anyone’s recovery. You already recovered before you know what needs to be done. Just accept and keep rolling


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

Hi! I thought I'd update anyone who's reading this and is not only scared of never getting better but also of relapsing once you do.
It's been 10 days since my relapse and I've been back on my medication (zyprexa+ Cipralex) for five days and I feel at least 70-75% better. I'll let you guys know how much it takes until I get completely over it!


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## Cali123 (Jan 5, 2019)

What symptoms did you have?


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## Pablopizah (Aug 29, 2019)

Sweet , its your anxiety getting under control, juat remind yourself of this everytime, you will be better in no time im sure


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

Cali123 said:


> What symptoms did you have?


Emotional detachment, felt like I was in a paralell universe where nothing was real, my family and friends seemed strangers and all the typical symptoms except visual snow basically


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

tpbrandon said:


> When you say relapse do you mean that you got over it and felt totally back to normal with no dp dr symptoms?


yes I was fine for a whole year


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

Pablopizah said:


> Sweet , its your anxiety getting under control, juat remind yourself of this everytime, you will be better in no time im sure


Thank you so much for your kind words, I wish you well for your recovery! If you ever need anything just message me


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

tpbrandon said:


> How long was it 24/7 the first time?


Something like 7/8 months


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## Dark12345 (Feb 6, 2020)

How are you now Chiara?


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## Respekta (Feb 14, 2019)

Chiara699 said:


> Emotional detachment, felt like I was in a paralell universe where nothing was real, my family and friends seemed strangers and all the typical symptoms except visual snow basically


Wow feeling the same.. It has been good for like 5-6 months now but now due to isolation my thoughts/ feelings and anxiety is getting worse day per day.. I think I need to try medication, since it´s getting worse day per day. Im feeling so weird, I am not even able to explain and i have solipsism thoughts 24/7, when I wake up when I want to sleep it´s just horrible right now.. How long did it take for you to get back to "normal"? Is it possible to "feel" grounded again? I mean, life seems so strange right now, words/ actions I never experienced that but now it´s just the worst ever. I was so good like 2-3 weeks ago and I almost felt 90% recovered now it´s just the opposite


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## Chiara699 (Aug 8, 2018)

I’m gonna reply in private message!


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## bryaan989 (Apr 8, 2020)

I am also curious to know how you're doing now. I just relapsed because of stress after being DP free for over 3 years.


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