# This post is directed at long term cases though I hope it gives clarity and insight to anyone reading



## 1reason2die4 (Oct 30, 2020)

Although some of us may have similar stories and thoughts of how we became depersonalized and/or de-realized, we could say that we're unique from one another and are all living different lives which brings fourth different situations each day. The reason why you have DP/DR and the reason why I have DP/DR are most likely vastly different from one another.

After being in a constant state of DR for x amount of time, I have finally realized that a part of recovery requires not looking outward but to begin looking inward.
(I get it, you look inward and there's nothing there, just a void of nothingness and a blank mind, that is only the sensation talking, not you)

Stop watching and reading others stories, the only thing you might have in common is the fact that you both have DP/DR, you might not be feeling the same emotions, the same way physically, you don't have the same family, the same problems, our lives are entirely different from one another in many ways. (DP/DR is not an emotion)

No one's journey no matter how similar will give you all of the answers you need to move forward and make the progress needed to reach your goal. yes it is comfortable, knowing you weren't alone for the first time and relating to it all was such a great thing, but ultimately did nothing for us or we wouldn't be here.

I believe what we need is to get out of the "comfortable bubble" some of us may have created for ourselves. I believe we created this bubble using this sensation, processing it while masking our true inner self, burying our pain, trauma, and sadness deep within to continue functioning "normally". 

We must look inside and figure out what that bubble is, how it became to be, what it's doing to us, and uncover how we truly feel on the inside and begin to express and apply it every day. (if you look inside and see nothing, ask someone who knows you for their honest opinion, and don't snuff their answer off, take it seriously even if you think it's totally wrong or inaccurate)

To put this bubble into better context, it can be defined as things as small as forcing yourself to go to sleep at a better time each night, to larger things like completely cutting off toxic people. The difficulty of these things are for you to define.

Put it into your own words, I think we all have a bubble and it's going to take a lot of digging, personal growth, and possibly hardship to break out of it, but it will be worth it.
Think of and write down three things right now that deep down you might think or know are hindering your recovery. If you can't think of anything you might not be digging hard enough, or for the right things. (deep down I think most of us know what needs to be done, we could just care less because of the way we feel)

I'm a 23 year old male from Canada and have been in a constant state of DR for 15 years, that being said I know I don't give any true value or concrete answers here but I thought it would be more helpful to possibly give a piece about recovery and to speculate towards moving in a positive direction, then to just share my DR story specifically.

I have only recently learnt and come to a realization that I am my own worst problem, though initially I know what led me to getting DR wasn't my fault, why I still have it is 100% my doing. It's time to take our minds off auto-pilot.


----------



## coolwhip27 (Mar 14, 2015)

I think the core act of detachment, as a defense mechanism, cannot be anything different. I’m not saying the reason is the same but the fundamental core of that reason is. The fundamental core comes back to what Krishnamurti says. We experience great pain in our minds from the past, and we choose to resist it. Instead of looking at the hurt or trauma with no resistance, chronic depersonalization is chronic resistance. Only clever enough and determined minds can see themselves out of the fire, but I believe it is possible for anybody.


----------



## Trith (Dec 31, 2019)

1reason2die4 said:


> Although some of us may have similar stories and thoughts of how we became depersonalized and/or de-realized, we could say that we're unique from one another and are all living different lives which brings fourth different situations each day. The reason why you have DP/DR and the reason why I have DP/DR are most likely vastly different from one another.
> 
> After being in a constant state of DR for x amount of time, I have finally realized that a part of recovery requires not looking outward but to begin looking inward.
> (I get it, you look inward and there's nothing there, just a void of nothingness and a blank mind, that is only the sensation talking, not you)
> ...


When I started discovering I had addiction problems years ago I could read many people saying that what matters is not simply trying to stop taking the product but also understand why one takes it, where this comes from, what are the underlying mechanisms and how to correct things. But I had no clue what these things were for me and nobody was talking about it, they were simply saying this is where they thought one should look, but there were no examples. When I went to therapy I could talk about some stuff but it felt like I was re-inventing the wheel. I thought that there are so many people who must have been through the exact same things and I should benefit from their experience instead of starting from zero. When I went to 12 steps meetings I found what I was looking for. During meetings people have time to share their own experience, where they are at, maybe with a certain common theme and so on. This had many advantages. Each person had a unique recovery path but different paths have different things in common. What helped another person isn't necessarily what helped another person, or maybe not at that time in their recovery, or maybe never. So it was impossible to just take something that has helped one person and copy it and ask another person to do the same. But at each meeting everybody could hear about the life experience of different people and after some time you could build your own library of things that helped people at different times. And you could take what you needed, sometimes from people who had an experience that resonated more with yours, and you could leave the rest without anyone pressuring you to imitate them. And you could keep in memory some things you had heard and maybe they would become useful to you years later, that was the case for me.
So for me, respectful sharing of individual experiences can be very important and it goes far beyond just realizing that you are not alone. What I find totally toxic is to ask people to do what you personally think is helpful. There feedback was even forbidden during meetings. They did that but only in a sponsorship - sponsee relationship, and it is the sponsee that specifically asks for advice to their sponsor, not the other way around. And I find that much healthier.


----------



## 1reason2die4 (Oct 30, 2020)

coolwhip27 said:


> I think the core act of detachment, as a defense mechanism, cannot be anything different. I’m not saying the reason is the same but the fundamental core of that reason is. The fundamental core comes back to what Krishnamurti says. We experience great pain in our minds from the past, and we choose to resist it. Instead of looking at the hurt or trauma with no resistance, chronic depersonalization is chronic resistance. Only clever enough and determined minds can see themselves out of the fire, but I believe it is possible for anybody.


Thank you for this short but meaningful response. "Instead of looking at the hurt or trauma with no resistance, chronic depersonalization is chronic resistance." I am going to focus on this piece in the coming days and really put an effort to discover the resistance I may have, that i've more than likely been hiding from.


----------



## 1reason2die4 (Oct 30, 2020)

Trith said:


> When I started discovering I had addiction problems years ago I could read many people saying that what matters is not simply trying to stop taking the product but also understand why one takes it, where this comes from, what are the underlying mechanisms and how to correct things. But I had no clue what these things were for me and nobody was talking about it, they were simply saying this is where they thought one should look, but there were no examples. When I went to therapy I could talk about some stuff but it felt like I was re-inventing the wheel. I thought that there are so many people who must have been through the exact same things and I should benefit from their experience instead of starting from zero. When I went to 12 steps meetings I found what I was looking for. During meetings people have time to share their own experience, where they are at, maybe with a certain common theme and so on. This had many advantages. Each person had a unique recovery path but different paths have different things in common. What helped another person isn't necessarily what helped another person, or maybe not at that time in their recovery, or maybe never. So it was impossible to just take something that has helped one person and copy it and ask another person to do the same. But at each meeting everybody could hear about the life experience of different people and after some time you could build your own library of things that helped people at different times. And you could take what you needed, sometimes from people who had an experience that resonated more with yours, and you could leave the rest without anyone pressuring you to imitate them. And you could keep in memory some things you had heard and maybe they would become useful to you years later, that was the case for me.
> So for me, respectful sharing of individual experiences can be very important and it goes far beyond just realizing that you are not alone. What I find totally toxic is to ask people to do what you personally think is helpful. There feedback was even forbidden during meetings. They did that but only in a sponsorship - sponsee relationship, and it is the sponsee that specifically asks for advice to their sponsor, not the other way around. And I find that much healthier.


I appreciate your reply, the "library of things" mentioned is truly a great piece of the puzzle to be utilized.

I hope more readers can share their thoughts and parts of their stories to hopefully contrast my original post in some way like yourself. My aim here is to form a more complex discussion that more and more people can benefit from and view in multiple ways, while keeping in mind this is focused at long term sufferers who may have accepted or become too comfortable in their state and feel as though nothing has worked for them.


----------



## leminaseri (Jul 1, 2020)

Trith said:


> When I started discovering I had addiction problems years ago I could read many people saying that what matters is not simply trying to stop taking the product but also understand why one takes it, where this comes from, what are the underlying mechanisms and how to correct things. But I had no clue what these things were for me and nobody was talking about it, they were simply saying this is where they thought one should look, but there were no examples. When I went to therapy I could talk about some stuff but it felt like I was re-inventing the wheel. I thought that there are so many people who must have been through the exact same things and I should benefit from their experience instead of starting from zero. When I went to 12 steps meetings I found what I was looking for. During meetings people have time to share their own experience, where they are at, maybe with a certain common theme and so on. This had many advantages. Each person had a unique recovery path but different paths have different things in common. What helped another person isn't necessarily what helped another person, or maybe not at that time in their recovery, or maybe never. So it was impossible to just take something that has helped one person and copy it and ask another person to do the same. But at each meeting everybody could hear about the life experience of different people and after some time you could build your own library of things that helped people at different times. And you could take what you needed, sometimes from people who had an experience that resonated more with yours, and you could leave the rest without anyone pressuring you to imitate them. And you could keep in memory some things you had heard and maybe they would become useful to you years later, that was the case for me.
> So for me, respectful sharing of individual experiences can be very important and it goes far beyond just realizing that you are not alone. What I find totally toxic is to ask people to do what you personally think is helpful. There feedback was even forbidden during meetings. They did that but only in a sponsorship - sponsee relationship, and it is the sponsee that specifically asks for advice to their sponsor, not the other way around. And I find that much healthier.


dont know why everytime i read your posts i just start to think it is impossible to recover. like you are mirroring this mindset on your posts


----------



## Trith (Dec 31, 2019)

leminaseri said:


> dont know why everytime i read your posts i just start to think it is impossible to recover. like you are mirroring this mindset on your posts


I'm sorry I give you this feeling, because I really don't feel like this myself. For me uncertainty means I am still open to what is, to observation and possibilities, and what I think of as "blind hope" feels to me like running away from reality. At least I felt like that in the past when I did that, and now I feel like I am allergic to that. I feel I have had so many illusions shattered that I prefer anything that feels more real and present. That doesn't mean pessimism either for me, just an energy investment strategy.
I am also very alergic to being told what I am or what I should do, as you probably have noticed already, this makes me upset to another level and it's not ideal. People's words have power for me and if they make me feel like what i am not it makes me feel cut away from myself, and DP really made me alergic to that too. So maybe I am defensive because I realy want to be in charge of who I am and what I do and i don't want any one else to interfere one way or another. I feel like this is my antidote for my DPDR for today.
By the way, it's maybe not realted but I think my DR has reduced a bit lately. It seems consistent but it's still too early to make any conclusion.


----------



## leminaseri (Jul 1, 2020)

Trith said:


> I'm sorry I give you this feeling, because I really don't feel like this myself. For me uncertainty means I am still open to what is, to observation and possibilities, and what I think of as "blind hope" feels to me like running away from reality. At least I felt like that in the past when I did that, and now I feel like I am allergic to that. I feel I have had so many illusions shattered that I prefer anything that feels more real and present. That doesn't mean pessimism either for me, just an energy investment strategy.
> I am also very alergic to being told what I am or what I should do, as you probably have noticed already, this makes me upset to another level and it's not ideal. People's words have power for me and if they make me feel like what i am not it makes me feel cut away from myself, and DP really made me alergic to that too. So maybe I am defensive because I realy want to be in charge of who I am and what I do and i don't want any one else to interfere one way or another. I feel like this is my antidote for my DPDR for today.
> By the way, it's maybe not realted but I think my DR has reduced a bit lately. It seems consistent but it's still too early to make any conclusion.


im glad buddy keep going


----------



## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

This is why I think something like MDMA can be a cure for many, that shit makes you go inward and face your demons and traumas. I hope I can find the courage to do it asap.


----------



## 1reason2die4 (Oct 30, 2020)

Aridity said:


> This is why I think something like MDMA can be a cure for many, that shit makes you go inward and face your demons and traumas. I hope I can find the cougar to do it asap.


I often read of certain DMT trips completely transforming mind sets and giving people the insight to free themselves of drug addictions. Though not every story is positive it is certainly fascinating how everyone has a much similar experience... I know very little of MDMA but I wish you the best when and if the day comes you find the cougar. I have only drank often in high school and have never done any drugs aside from smoking weed twice which I stay clear of due to the thought it will increase my anxiety.


----------

