# Plz can anyone comment on my symptoms?desperate xxxx



## lau_von_c (Jan 17, 2008)

Hello everyone :O)
I am new to this forum and this is my first post! I found found this condition through my own research because I tried to commit suicide last month because I could not cope with feeling ill anymore. Please read my story and advice me if you think Derealization may be my problem because I am desperate..
When I was 15 my grandmother died who I lived with and was very very close to. She was quite young and her death was very sudden and a huge shock. At the time I dont remember being that upset, however about 6 months to a year afterwards I because very dperessed and sad that she had died. I began bingeing on food.. mainly sugary food and began just feeling "funny". It started as just being tired and a bit spacey but eventually ended up being nearly constant spacey/tired/foggy state that causes a band of pressure over my eyes that is like a dull headache or pressure headache. I am 21 now and it is getting worse and worse.
I went to 2 alternative health clinics and they put this pen on my hand and said my problem is candida. I did the most extreme diet in the world for 2 months and felt no better. The diet was so strict that it made me so stressed!!
I went to my DR last week and he said that he DOES belive in a candida overgrowth in the stomach but because i dont get thrush etc he thinks it is anxiety making me feel so strange. Since my nan died I have had BAD problems with body image (not helped by being fat because of the constant bingeing) and i was bullied by a really horrible group of girls. But this candida thing i think gives me the most stress because i have blamed my spaceyness on this for many years now and it is hard to think that it may not be the case. I was paying 100 pound a month at the candida clinic and am having problems eating a normal healthy diet to lose weight (I am scared of bread!!)
To describe my symptoms... it is like a dream like state, my vision goes cross eyed and a bit blurry, everything is cloudy and foggy and it can make me muddle my words and be a bit stupid in class. It makes me want to just lie down and close my eyes, the pressure on my eyes is annoying. It is like I am watching the world through a tv .. it is like I am drunk or stoned. Does this sound typical?
I am fighting hard to not be depressed and try to kill myself but i am very anxious.. very self critical.. and i thinkn this may be damaging. I am seeing an eating disorder DR tomorrow for the bingeing.. should i mention this?
I feel so alone and that my life is over at 21, i just want to get better and ill do anything.
Thanks for reading sorry if it was a bit long
Love Laura xxx


----------



## haked off (Feb 2, 2008)

sorry laura im new to this myself so cant ofer you much advice. dont give up m8 coz your not alone many of us feel this way  i thought i was the only one who felt like this till i found this web sight an the thought of talking to someone else who feels the same has give me some hope maby there is a light at the end of the tunnel! feel free if you want to get in touch.


----------



## haked off (Feb 2, 2008)

haked off said:


> sorry laura im new to this myself so cant ofer you much advice. dont give up m8 coz your not alone many of us feel this way  i thought i was the only one who felt like this till i found this web sight an the thought of talking to someone else who feels the same has give me some hope maby there is a light at the end of the tunnel! feel free if you want to get in touch.


----------



## pamela26 (Jul 1, 2007)

Hiya Laura, dont give up hope, I have the exact same symptons, I get so frustrated with it!!! I think my dr/dp is cused by food, I only eat once a day cos I get so bloated when I eat and it effects my head, so I'm scared off eating! Were all in this together, dont let it beat u, I hate it sooooo much, but Im not gonna give up, one day I will be normal again...there is a rainbow on the otherside.


----------



## cyberafrica (Feb 14, 2008)

[/quote]

Hi Laura

It sounds definately like you are dealing with anxiety and depression, which brings on the feeling of depersonalisation.

I am 41 now, and had my 1st bout of depression at 26, where I also wanted to kill myself, as felt so wierd. It took about 9 months to clear up. I even kept the note I wrote in 1990, which said I feel distant from this planet.

Give your body time to heal, you have to relax(even though it is so easy for me to say so) I do understand what it feels like. Eating disorders is also a sign of depression.

My belief is that depression is there for a reason, a time for a person to heal and self analyse. Try and stick to a fixed routine every day, and be positive.

I care about you as a person and want you to achieve the joy and peace you so deserve and are looking for in your life and being 21 you still have a whole life ahead of you.It is possible to find it my friend. The answers lies within you. Hopefully together we will find them and you will be able to enjoy your life more as you move forward.

It is imperative that you surround yourself with positive people and are in a supportive and positive environment. Avoid the shoulda coulda woulda people and thought processes. Another one is the "if only's." What you shoulda, coulda, or woulda done you did not do so you can not change those things. You can however change the way you think now. And as far as, "if only you would have done..." Well, that is in the past as well, so put that behind you and step into the present and learn to bring your thoughts into focus in the present.

As far as the depression there are a number of different theories about the cause and treatment of depression. What worked for me was therapy, (Cognitive Therapy), taking medications for a time, (I take Thaden), reading and following the teachings of the book The Secret, (The Law of Attraction-we get what we attract by our thoughts and words, and a sensible supplementation program, prayer and meditation, forgiving myself for my past and letting it go, and now living moment by moment.

As far as The Bible and Spiritual healing I do concur that part of our healing must be spiritual. Each person must go down their own path spirituality, however, I would encourage your practicing spirituality in order to overcome your depression. The Bible and The Secret are two of my favorite books.

I understand the need for assurance as there was a time when I wondered myself if the pain was ever going to end. It was a long dark night of the soul, however, it did end for me. I am not saying it will ever end totally for you as I can not speak for you and how you will respond to the various therapies and things you are doing. I do know this...that your thoughts control how you feel so you do need to focus on changing your thoughts - your self speak. You need to change what you say to yourself on a daily basis. Change the tape inside your head another wards. I like to say learn to deal effectively with the memories and demons of the past, live responsibly in the present, and have hope for the future. Meditation and visualization are very important. See yourself as the person you want to be...smiling, happy, and contented again. Keep seeing yourself as that person and eventually your brain and brain chemistry catches up with you and you being to feel happy again. It does take about 4 to 6 weeks for a medication to change your brain chemistry so be patient. What medication do they have you on if you do not mind me asking?

I know this, you can do it. You can achieve a happier state of mind. You can find freedom from your depression and pain. It might not happen over night, but it can happen in time if you want to be happy and well and if you believe you can be. I know you can do it. I believe in you. Also, I care about you and will start praying for you.

I look forward to hearing of your progress as you recover. Please feel free to write anytime and I will be sure to respond back to you as soon as I can.


----------

