# Time lapse?



## Anesthetic (Feb 4, 2013)

Has anyone else experienced what feels like a lapse in time? Sometimes during DP/DR I will be talking and then....I sort of seem to have forgotten what I was talking about, or where I was, how I got there. It almost feels like how a panic attack comes on, but different sensation. It's like the time lapse brings on anxiety/panic because you are losing control/grip of time and reality. Does that make any sense?


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## fresko123 (Jan 23, 2013)

Yes, this happens to me sometimes too. I will be driving, and my surroundings look weird, so I freak out a little and kind of forget where I'm going or where I need to turn. And it almost feels like a panic attack, I think because I'm having a mini freak out about forgetting things, or things feeling foggy.

And as far as time goes, I used to be able to just "feel" time, but ever since DP/DR, I don't...I'm just floating around in life.


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## Anesthetic (Feb 4, 2013)

fresko123 said:


> Yes, this happens to me sometimes too. I will be driving, and my surroundings look weird, so I freak out a little and kind of forget where I'm going or where I need to turn. And it almost feels like a panic attack, I think because I'm having a mini freak out about forgetting things, or things feeling foggy.
> 
> And as far as time goes, I used to be able to just "feel" time, but ever since DP/DR, I don't...I'm just floating around in life.


Thank you for your response, I appreciate it. Sorry to hear you have to experience the same thing though, it's not pleasant.

It used to happen more often when I was younger when DP/DR started but It still happens today every so often.

It usually happens when I get a bad flashback now...Like I will be talking and then completely space out...like I'm not lost inside my mind and time is irrelevant.


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## Recovered (Oct 11, 2012)

I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I'll try:

I found that when I had DP and DR, my narrative was fragmented in every sense. That also happened with time: life was no longer one long story so to speak, but chopped up/fragmented. Taken to the extreme, this became the feeling like each second or time I could even blink my eyes was like a separate frame unconnected to the previous second -- like each second I had a new motive/existence/driver/meaning in life, if that makes sense.

Most people have one long frame of reference, what we (non-DP people) do now is loosely connected to what we did an hour or two ago, and even 6 hours ago -- while we may not be paying attention to the same task at hand, those previously completed tasks/chores/actions (whether doing laundry, walking to the grocery store, etc) -- while those tasks are now 'complete' for me, they still continue on into my evening, influencing it, by my memories of earlier in the day and how I felt during that time (for example say the checkout girl at the store was nice, flirty, I might think about that into the evening) -- this is the way I experience reality at least. What I mean to say is that I can have multiple concurrent things going on in my life and they continue on throughout the day/week/etc.

With DP, the fragmentation inside of me was so strong that it felt like no single 'narrative' continued even from second to second. It robbed all meaning, along with emotional numbness, and in that, I think perhaps that is how time felt extremely distorted too -- either it felt really sped up, slowed down, or just missing... time is measured in the timeline of our day and the events that happen to us/we take part in. If you remove those events, or make them 'fragmented' to the brain -- it might adjust the sense of 'time' accordingly and totally distort it because it doesn't know how to place the events. Does it place them linear, in order? NO! It does it as one big jumbled MESS !

Time itself, and our sense of it, is constructed in part by how our memories can fill in the gaps. When your memories, and even the moment to moment feels like they are disconnected from the previous second (and the total lack of emotion binding it) -- then I think the brain has an impossible task of trying to assemble those things into a sense of timeline.

Put it another way: Let's say I ask you to come decorate a long hallway, that is 100 feet long. I ask you to bring with you, and order a series of 50 pictures from your life chronologically in that hallway corridor. You got some copies of memorable photos made and brought them to my house to begin ordering them. The natural way to do this would be to put photo of 4 year old you at halloween before the picture of 12 year old you at dance recital, which comes before the 25 year old you getting married. This is just an example of perhaps how our mind constructs our 'timeline'. You are able to do this (normally) when you have some emotional and logical sense about it that allows you to 'make sense' of the photos and where you belong. Now if I strip you of that capability, rob you of emotional meaning, and fragment/compartmentalize your mind as a defense mechanism (which some DP literature calls it -- defense mechanism, whether due to a bad drug experience, or trauma of another sort) -- and ask you to line the hallway with the images chronologically -- you will not be able to do it. Because you're confused/impaired somehow.

My guess is that DP, DR and other types of dissociation is that 'impairment'. Emotional numbing, shutting down emotional connections to memories, compartmentalizing experiences, etc. Now if you do that, you kind of strip the brains capability to also perceive a sense of time as a byproduct (THIS IS JUST MY THEORY).

Ultimately I'm trying to say that the fragmented memories, fragmented events of a day and the fragmented sense of timeline. I see them as probably connected. (At the time, with DP, I was so confused to probably not be able to make sense of this).

I hope this makes sense. I'm not saying it's right at all as I'm not a doctor, nor well read in dissociation -- just a thought on it based on my experiences with the disorder.

I also hope this can help you understand it in another way, and in that, lessen your fear/pain from this horrible disorder.

Take care and good luck to all.


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## Katieb24 (Feb 9, 2013)

Yes I know exactly what you are talking about with the time-lapses. It's like nothing flows together. Almost as if you have moments where it feels you have "come into existence" for the first time...


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## Recovered (Oct 11, 2012)

Katieb24 said:


> Yes I know exactly what you are talking about with the time-lapses. It's like nothing flows together. Almost as if you have moments where it feels you have "come into existence" for the first time...


Come into existence is similar to how I used to describe it.

I used to call this, 'refresh and renew into the moment', 'disappearing and then zooming into my body in a split second' and also 'dying and being reincarnated a thousand times in an instant' (I use the word dying figuratively here and hope it doesn't trigger anyone or make them anxious...it's just how it kind of felt). That was when dissociation got *really* bad. It was like I was vaporized then materialized simultaneously..... I'll stop with the phrases 

In my experience (and with talking to others) -- this is normal for dissociation, sadly -- a normal experience.

These expressions might help you. You are safe when it happens - your body is still in the room. Try and ground yourself if you panic by saying "I'm safe, I'm okay, nothing bad will happen" when that occurs. Ground yourself with a sense of safety. Write it on a piece of paper if need be, and carry it with you.


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## alteredtunings (Feb 14, 2013)

Recovered said:


> I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I'll try:
> 
> I found that when I had DP and DR, my narrative was fragmented in every sense. That also happened with time: life was no longer one long story so to speak, but chopped up/fragmented. Taken to the extreme, this became the feeling like each second or time I could even blink my eyes was like a separate frame unconnected to the previous second -- like each second I had a new motive/existence/driver/meaning in life, if that makes sense.
> 
> ...


Man spot on about how things influence your day. I've been feeling this and had not been able to properly articulate it. Let's take the girl for example. This happened to me and I realized later on in the day that normally, I'd still be happy, it would be in the back of my mind, putting me in a better mood, influencing me. But now that I'm detached and it never really made me happy in the first place, I almost forget about it because I'm too worried about what's going on in the moment.


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## alteredtunings (Feb 14, 2013)

Also the time lapse happens to me a lot. Normally when I'm walking upstairs from my basement, or when I get up to go to the bathroom. Idk but it always hits me doing those things almost every time. Maybe try learning to recognize what is around you when this is happening helps. I think it's walking down a hallway for me, because in both instances i'm between two close walls.


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## serial stranger (Feb 4, 2013)

This happens to me all the time. I'll jerk back to consciousness and be really surprised by how much time has passed. It's unsettling. It's like I'l have been sleepwalking or just going through the motions, completely separate from my own mind. I used to think I was having some sort of seizure, but now I believe the DP makes me check out that much. When you feel it happening, try really hard to focus on something solid and real, like the texture of something in your hand, or the details of the room you're in.


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## Mel anie (Jan 10, 2012)

I get that often, and also a warped sense of time. An example of that would be standing in a supermarket aisle, and then not sure if I've been looking at the same things for 20 seconds or 2 minutes.


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## Recovered (Oct 11, 2012)

Another example I used to use:

Remember when you were non-DP, and in bed trying to fall asleep and you drift off, half in sleep but then JERK back awake from that feeling like you are falling? And it startles you? I used to get that with my sense of time and memory, too. I mean, when I was depersonalized. Like I'd be startled back into reality and wonder what happened, then get even more terrified (where did I GO!?! can I do something dumb when I gap out like this, like forget to breath?! etc).

No matter what, try not to be scared about the time and memory thing. Always assure yourself, "I am safe. Nothing will harm me. It's my brain acting up.". The fear is worse than any actual repercussions that occur because of this gapping out /lost time /lost memory. I had DP for years, and I was always on edge that I would somehow lose my mind / make a huge mistake like gap out and not realize it at a pivotal/critical time (like...cut off my hand by accident).

In all the worrying, in all the anxiety over the years with DP -- in all the constant fear that something was about to go terrbily wrong: nothing ever did. The biggest mistake I might have made was akin to what non-DP people would do: burn your toast once in awhile or forget to change the empty toilet paper roll. The devastation of the fear and crippling anxiety was far worse then anything that actually occurred out of my 'gapping out', messed up time and messed up sense of memory.

Just something to think about. Hope it helps.


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## Higherhopes (Oct 27, 2012)

Wow, I'm relieved now that I'm not the only one who has these 'lapses.' "come into existence" for the first time...& 'refresh and renew into the moment' took the words right out of my mouth/pretty much how I would describe it. What I would like to know is what is going on in our brains which causes these 'lapses'. Recover soon guys.


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## Recovered (Oct 11, 2012)

Higherhopes said:


> Wow, I'm relieved now that I'm not the only one who has these 'lapses.' "come into existence" for the first time...& 'refresh and renew into the moment' took the words right out of my mouth/pretty much how I would describe it. What I would like to know is what is going on in our brains which causes these 'lapses'. Recover soon guys.


A lot of people want to know why. I would just kick it up to a fragmented stream of consciousness/memory due to the DP interfering with your experience in the world and compartmentalizing things. I sometimes think that DP is like "lock down" mode. It allows things in selectively -- once bitten, twice shy -- that's why it feels so fragmented.


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

hey i have too, durings seconds, is so scare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

im gonna do a EEG because i think is some kind of epilepsy, and sorry for my english


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## Jewells (Feb 28, 2013)

Yes the time lapse thing sucks.. Just glad to know I am not alone...


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## daydreambeliever (Jun 15, 2011)

Anesthetic said:


> Has anyone else experienced what feels like a lapse in time? Sometimes during DP/DR I will be talking and then....I sort of seem to have forgotten what I was talking about, or where I was, how I got there. It almost feels like how a panic attack comes on, but different sensation. It's like the time lapse brings on anxiety/panic because you are losing control/grip of time and reality. Does that make any sense?


Unfortunately this is a daily experience for me and my main cause for anxiety. It seems to be worse with age too and that concerns me somewhat. I have anxiety a lot at night with small memories of things I have forgotten. It seems so important to remember everything but I am unable to because the time lapses leave me scrambling to seem appropriate, and I forget completely what a conversation was, like a black out.

I prefer writing on the computer but even then I will read something I have written and it doesn't even seem like I wrote it. I am seeing a dissociation specialist and I may even have alter egos taking over for me. That's a scary thought! Or may be it's small seizures. Anyhow it goes with dpd. It's a description of what living with it is like, for me. I think this is the difference between dpd caused anxiety and anxiety caused dpd.


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

daydreambeliever said:


> Unfortunately this is a daily experience for me and my main cause for anxiety. It seems to be worse with age too and that concerns me somewhat. I have anxiety a lot at night with small memories of things I have forgotten. It seems so important to remember everything but I am unable to because the time lapses leave me scrambling to seem appropriate, and I forget completely what a conversation was, like a black out.
> 
> I prefer writing on the computer but even then I will read something I have written and it doesn't even seem like I wrote it. I am seeing a dissociation specialist and I may even have alter egos taking over for me. That's a scary thought! Or may be it's small seizures. Anyhow it goes with dpd. It's a description of what living with it is like, for me. I think this is the difference between dpd caused anxiety and anxiety caused dpd.


hey in you info say you have Schizophrenia, and you have time lapses, im so scare im have Schizophrenia to?????


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## daydreambeliever (Jun 15, 2011)

I had a schizoaffective dx at one time but it didn't last for long. I am told no that I definitely do not have any form of schizophrenia.


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

MAYBE IS AMNESIA??????????????????????????????


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## daydreambeliever (Jun 15, 2011)

What I think happens for me is that I automatically 'act' whenever I need to and I am not really in touch with what I am saying. Sometimes I am watching and forget I'm 'acting'. It's like being an actor, I say my lines and forget them when their usefulness is done. The interaction (the movie) ends, and I move on...


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

hey i dont know but me feel like im here? what im doing here??? but i know what im doing , the time look distortion, only second!!!, is the same as yours????? please respond me someone please, im scared!!


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## Petrucci6565 (Nov 30, 2012)

i can relate as well. as far as lapses in time goes, i feel like iv been so disconnected that i rarely think about "what happened yesterday" or a week ago or anything like that. i think this is a big reason why i can look back and say "where the hell did the year go?" and legitimately mean it. kind of feel like iv been in a void.

there have been times when i came out of this, "woke up" i suppose, just for a minute or so, and it felt so incredibly strange and i actually remember it feeling like i had been placed right where i was, out of no where. it really felt like i had just woken up. it was the strangest thing one time, realizing i had been watching tv and interacting with my family members and was barely processing any of it until that moment. like they were more aware of my existence that entire time than i was.


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## Petrucci6565 (Nov 30, 2012)

daydreambeliever said:


> What I think happens for me is that I automatically 'act' whenever I need to and I am not really in touch with what I am saying. Sometimes I am watching and forget I'm 'acting'. It's like being an actor, I say my lines and forget them when their usefulness is done. The interaction (the movie) ends, and I move on...


i feel the exact same way. sometimes when i focus in on what im saying it feels so incredibly weird to the point where it's hard to concentrate on what I'm actually trying to say.


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

yes feel like in the moment i woke up


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

but i dont know is the same sensation like all of yoursss


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## sonixs (Jan 15, 2013)

Please somebody respond me please pleaseee this time lapses can be called hallucinations???


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## Lexy67 (Sep 23, 2017)

I am glad to know that I am not the only one who feed this way. It makes me feel less alone. But I hope to recovery.


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