# Physical Symptoms



## Chrisisoutofit

Hey everyone. First poster. Scared as hell right now. I've had this DP feeling for about a month now, and every day is so tough. I remember waking up one morning and everything being different. It was scary. I looked at my room and thought.. my room? I have visual snow, that is what I first noticed and why I was so confused. Really, I first noticed in November that my legs felt numb to the touch and like they were going to charlie horse. That worried me. The feeling went on all month, so all I focused on was drinking enough water and taking potassium. I loved to sleep, so it really bothered me that my legs felt like they would cramp when I laid in bed. This caused a lot of anxiety. Then it spiraled, I suppose. My vision began to blur so I googled and thought I had MS. I broke down crying all night thinking I was going to die. Constant anxiety hit me. Then, the visual snow started. And I had this severe pressure around my head.

I started shaking. I had no balance, I would be swaying everywhere. And the day that the visual snow hit, I immediately felt detached. Like my xbox that I played so much didn't look... right. Nothing felt.. right. It was all strange. My house, my grandparents, myself. I couldn't focus on anything but worrying. The doctor told me I had depression and anxiety and prescribed Lorazepam and Lexapro. I stopped the lexapro 2 weeks after starting it because it didn't help. Now I have no stamina and no strength. I used to do P90X vigorously. Now I can barely lift my arm up. I have a constant ringing in my ears. My ears also won't pop, so they feel constantly clogged and that adds to anxiety because I can't hear right. My brain won't work. All I think about is how do I feel? What if it's like this forever? I feel like life is passing me by. My boyfriend is worried, my boss is worried, and I myself am more worried than anyone. Every waking moment is hell until around bedtime, because I find solace in sleep. But recently sleep is hard to come by and I usually only get like 6 hours. And right when I wake up I feel the fogginess, the visual snow, blurred vision, ear ringing, loss of balance, no stamina, and pressure.

I don't understand how to "ignore it" and "learn to live with it" if I'm reminded every moment of every day that I have this crap. I just don't enjoy anything. I don't enjoy food as much, it doesn't taste the same. Smells don't smell the same. I walk through my old town and feel like I've never been there, but the memories are there, and I long to feel that way again. I was always such a carefree, happy person. My life was great. Good job, going to school, good home life, good friends, great boyfriend. Now all I think about is how nothing feels the same, no one feels like they are truly there, and I feel emotionally numb. I have to fight to laugh, kind of force myself. I don't want to go anywhere, especially driving, school, or work. Which is tough, because my boyfriend is a 45 min drive away. So I force myself to drive to him. And when I'm with him, I don't feel like I'm truly there. I'm trapped in my head. I can't connect to him. My sexual desire is gone, so I feel like everything I do with him is robotic. Like I'm forcing it, and there is no enjoyment. And he is worried, and I feel like this will destroy our relationship, like it has every other part of my life. I have no desire to do anything anymore, even shower or eat. I just want to lay down. I fear that I will never overcome this with all my physical symptoms. I even tried not thinking or caring, but it's hard to not care when you're so physically drained and everything familiar to you seems alien.

Can someone offer words of advice, hope, or anything? Sorry for the wall of text. I just want my life back!


----------



## babybowrain

I do find this all gets better with time, so it becomes easier to ignore it. There's also lots of other medications you can try other than the ones you took.


----------



## resinoptes

I had a lot of physical symptoms at first, most of the same ones you describe, especially muscle spasms in my arms and legs. I think that being so disconnected from your body removes the brakes there would otherwise be on the physical manifestations of anxiety, so it becomes a self perpetuating, positive feedback process. I at first convinced myself I had MS, or a brain tumor, or Creutzveldt-Jakob disease and various other improbable possibilities (look at my terrified and incoherent early posts







). Once you move on from the initial terror and adopt an attitude of frustration towards DP/DR, the physical symptoms start to dissipate. I would try to get your doctor to substitute Clonezapam for Lorezapam, it works MUCH better for those physical symptoms you describe, and won't sedate you as much, as with any benzo, you don't want to be on it long term, I took it for a couple of months then tapered off it. I also noticed that SSRIs are not useful. Gabapentin was helpful to me as a substitute when I got off the Clonezapam.

Ok enough with the drugs







. Eventually you may find the whole experience very educational, I have. I am not recovered, but my attitude to it is very different now. Trying to forcibly 'recover' also contributes to the physical symptoms. I have accepted that I am not going to be exactly the person I was before DP, and that I have to acknowledge and process it before it will dissipate. As many people here have said, consciously fighting it makes it stronger.

Good Luck
Patrick


----------



## Chrisisoutofit

So using the clonazepam helped relieve your physical symptoms? I'll have to look into that. Its hard to be productive when you have zero energy and are always dizzy! Its good to hear that they dissipate.. Ugh!


----------



## resinoptes

Chrisisoutofit said:


> So using the clonazepam helped relieve your physical symptoms? I'll have to look into that. Its hard to be productive when you have zero energy and are always dizzy! Its good to hear that they dissipate.. Ugh!


Clonezapam acts on more receptors than just GABA, I think it has some seratonergic activity, also, it has a much longer half life than lorezapam (50 hours versus about 5). The longer half life means you get more continuous coverage of symptoms. If you get it, take it regularly while you're on it, not 'as needed'. I had 1mg daily at first (works better if u dissolve it sublingually, you can even with the tablets that r meant to be swallowed, it tastes ok too, kinda cool and minty







). I broke it into quarters and took them at regular intervals during the day. Don't use it for sleep, that's kindof a waste. When u get off it, reduce it by a quarter tablet every few days, then u shouldn't get withdrawal. For me, it also helped cos showing that a drug reduced my symptoms reduced my anxiety. Just don't rely on it as a long term solution, cos you'll get a tolerance and need more and more







.


----------



## Guest

Chrisis....when I read your post I wanted to cry because our symptoms are almost exactly identical and you are the first person to complain of the same head sensations including the severe head pressure and ears always clogged. These symptoms it drive me nuts...and I constantly feel light headed....dizzy, its hard for me to walk without feeling life I am going to pass out or something. I hate this so much, I try so hard to move on with my life but it feels so impossible...arrrghhhh


----------



## Teresa

I just want to remind u that u can get VERY addicted to drug like Clonezapam... if u take the drug regarly for 2-3 weeks... youre body has come addicted to it. Offcourse people react different... but its VERY addictive. It works on the same centers ind the brain as alchohol. IF youre going to use it. Dont take it every day.... Take it max. every 3-4 day...

Offcourse u can do what u want, but coming off these drug can give u intense DP and DR for several months.

Here in Denmark the doctors dont even prescribe these drugs anymore (benzodiazepines). Very few get them from psychiatrist... they give them to the worst anxiety-cases on the psych-ward. For exsample people who are paranoid psycotic.

Ive tried them... twice... and yes... they take much of the anxiety... and youre body is totally heavy and relaxed. I fell asleep... allthough I only took half a pill... lol...

I do not understand.... it sounds like there very easy to get in USA...

There only for really emergencies.....


----------



## Guest

I did not know that clonazepam could give you Dp/Dr...i take it very infrequently its been about 4 days...at most would take for anxiety and help with sleep...about 1/3 of the pill....now I am wondering if this is why I feel so weird. Right now I rely more on melatonin and magnesium and fish oil for sleep.


----------



## Teresa

The withdrawal symptoms for benzoes are DR and DR.... and sometimes flashbacks to old memories...

It messes your head up...

Its only for emergency use..


----------



## Guest

Teresa said:


> The withdrawal symptoms for benzoes are DR and DR.... and sometimes flashbacks to old memories...
> 
> It messes your head up...
> 
> Its only for emergency use..


it is good they are practically banned in denmark...they are the devil for most of us. i am glad i didn't rely on it for treatment!


----------



## resinoptes

Lisa32 said:


> it is good they are practically banned in denmark...they are the devil for most of us. i am glad i didn't rely on it for treatment!


I'm not taking klonopin anymore, but it definitely had its place when i was in a complete death spiral.

In a way benzos scare me much less than drugs that are meant to be taken on an open ended long term basis, they do their job very well in the short term, and you know what you're dealing with from the start, i prefer that to drugs like SSRIs, where you just take it daily for years in the hope it might do something, while dealing with side effects all along (this is just based on my personal experience with SSRIs).

It just depends on how bad things get, there was no way my physical anxiety symptoms (and physical DP symptoms) were going to dissipate on their own. Taking the drug and watching them lessen was educational, it taught me that they weren't due to some underlying physical disease process. I think a lot of people have this fear when they first develop DP/DR.

Benzos do not equal automatic tolerance and addiction, it depends on the attitude toward them. This will happen if they are viewed as a cure for anything. I had no problem tapering off klonopin, except that my anxiety returned to the level it was before i took it, but at least it showed me that the anxiety was that, not something worse.


----------



## Visual

resinoptes said:


> I'm not taking klonopin anymore, but it definitely had its place when i was in a complete death spiral.
> 
> In a way benzos scare me much less than drugs that are meant to be taken on an open ended long term basis, they do their job very well in the short term, and you know what you're dealing with from the start, i prefer that to drugs like SSRIs, where you just take it daily for years in the hope it might do something, while dealing with side effects all along (this is just based on my personal experience with SSRIs).
> 
> It just depends on how bad things get, there was no way my physical anxiety symptoms (and physical DP symptoms) were going to dissipate on their own. Taking the drug and watching them lessen was educational, it taught me that they weren't due to some underlying physical disease process. I think a lot of people have this fear when they first develop DP/DR.
> 
> Benzos do not equal automatic tolerance and addiction, it depends on the attitude toward them. This will happen if they are viewed as a cure for anything. I had no problem tapering off klonopin, except that my anxiety returned to the level it was before i took it, but at least it showed me that the anxiety was that, not something worse.


*Benzos do not equal automatic tolerance and addiction*

Benzodiazepines are a wonderful class of medication. Because they have been abused, some governments regulate them tighter. They are life saving medications used in the emergency rooms at hospital. Many people have positive, functional lives due to use of these meds.

As far as causing DP/DR - most medications that affect the CNS can do so. And for some, taking medication (including benzodiazepines) has actually resolved their DP/DR.

There is no need to be afraid. More people are killed in car accidents then by using benzodiazepines - should we ban cars?


----------



## Guest

Was hoping Chrisisoutofit could give us an update on her symptoms. I find myself in the same quandry.
My physical symptoms are so bad I can't move without feeling sick....I feel drugged and hungover everyday.
I started juicing and cutting out the sugar and even gluten...I am at my wits ends though...I feel like I want to fall over or get this "swoosh" feeling pulsating in my head everytime I walk along with pressure in my head especially my ears.
Anyone get thu these kinds of symptoms?


----------



## Tanyawa

Lisa32 said:


> Was hoping Chrisisoutofit could give us an update on her symptoms. I find myself in the same quandry.
> My physical symptoms are so bad I can't move without feeling sick....I feel drugged and hungover everyday.
> I started juicing and cutting out the sugar and even gluten...I am at my wits ends though...I feel like I want to fall over or get this "swoosh" feeling pulsating in my head everytime I walk along with pressure in my head especially my ears.
> Anyone get thu these kinds of symptoms?


I used to get all the symptoms described, but I no longer get them anymore. I am not sure why.

I know that focusing on your DP will make it worse, I know that trying to run away from it will make it worse.

I read a book on DP and it says that DP is a defence mechanism for trying to avoid painful emotions and ANXIETY, but once we have DP we try to avoid it also.

Whatever you resist will persist.

Every time I turn around I get some new symptom....it stays for awhile and then goes away.

Sorry to mention it....but I had diarehea for 5 months and once I started going to the doctor to get it checked out......it cleared up on it's own........so I think it was somatic as all the other symptoms are.

Look up individuation also...Carl Jung.....I found my whole process has followed his theory. I have been doing this for over 3 years.


----------

