# Questioning the very fabric of existence...



## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

So my DP/DR is still very much a prominent part of my life, and as I have slowly reached a point where I have literally no direction or goals in my everyday activities, my mind has kind've gone into hyper introspective overdrive. As of two days ago, I am literally questioning the fabric of existence. Let me give you an example - If all we're made out of is cells, chemicals and hormones.. Why and how do we actually function in life.. What makes us tick? 
Another example would be along the same lines - If everything in the world is made of atoms which is essentially just energy, then why do things matter? Why are there solid objects, liquids etc. Why does it share a part in my "existence"?

Argh.. I just cant shake the thoughts at all as they can relate to literally everything. From what I can "see" (energy impulses) with my "eyes" (a group of cells), to just about anything.

Thankfully I have less than 24hrs before my first session with the local psychiatric unit.. And I honestly think I'm just gonna let it all go in there and see what happens. However, I was just wondering if anyones ever sunk this deep into the existential thinking and if they've come out the other side unscathed as I genuinely am concerned for my sanity.. Moreso than ever before.

Thanks guys and girls,

Heres wishing peace to you all.


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

RenZimE said:


> So my DP/DR is still very much a prominent part of my life, and as I have slowly reached a point where I have literally no direction or goals in my everyday activities, my mind has kind've gone into hyper introspective overdrive. As of two days ago, I am literally questioning the fabric of existence. Let me give you an example - If all we're made out of is cells, chemicals and hormones.. Why and how do we actually function in life.. What makes us tick?
> Another example would be along the same lines - If everything in the world is made of atoms which is essentially just energy, then why do things matter? Why are there solid objects, liquids etc. Why does it share a part in my "existence"?
> 
> Argh.. I just cant shake the thoughts at all as they can relate to literally everything. From what I can "see" (energy impulses) with my "eyes" (a group of cells), to just about anything.
> ...


I am right on the same page about thinking about existence, and it freaks the hell out of me. I hate it. For a couple seconds a day lately, I am finding some peace. I am also finding that this is happening to me maybe because I just am not enjoying my life. I am at a job that I have worked now for three years. It is very easy, but I also feel like I just don't know how to move my life ahead. I want to do more with my life. So, basically I am very bored with my life. Instead, I think about existence, and I have moments where it feels impossible to move on. I also have had moments where I try to move my life forward and I wind up getting panic attacks that really drain my nervous system.

I will be very curious to hear what the psychiatrist says today when you go. I have also gotten to the point where I feel like I want to just let everything go as far as telling them about the obsessive existential thoughts. The two psychiatrists I talked to didn't flinch at all or think I was crazy that I was asking these questions. They were more concerned that I seemed anxious and depressed in general. Best of luck to you today!


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

2deepathinker said:


> I am right on the same page about thinking about existence, and it freaks the hell out of me. I hate it. For a couple seconds a day lately, I am finding some peace. I am also finding that this is happening to me maybe because I just am not enjoying my life. I am at a job that I have worked now for three years. It is very easy, but I also feel like I just don't know how to move my life ahead. I want to do more with my life. So, basically I am very bored with my life. Instead, I think about existence, and I have moments where it feels impossible to move on. I also have had moments where I try to move my life forward and I wind up getting panic attacks that really drain my nervous system.
> 
> I will be very curious to hear what the psychiatrist says today when you go. I have also gotten to the point where I feel like I want to just let everything go as far as telling them about the obsessive existential thoughts. The two psychiatrists I talked to didn't flinch at all or think I was crazy that I was asking these questions. They were more concerned that I seemed anxious and depressed in general. Best of luck to you today!


Incidentally, I am freaking out about how nature has determined that there are females, and how it determined there are males. I am also obsessing a lot about language, the how and why we chose the words we chose. I also sometimes freak out when I think about space. I told my brother about these questions, and he said they are good questions. I am finding that many non-DP people have them from time to time, but they just don't obsess about it like I do.


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## darris nealy (Mar 29, 2010)

2deepathinker said:


> Incidentally, I am freaking out about how nature has determined that there are females, and how it determined there are males. I am also obsessing a lot about language, the how and why we chose the words we chose. I also sometimes freak out when I think about space. I told my brother about these questions, and he said they are good questions. I am finding that many non-DP people have them from time to time, but they just don't obsess about it like I do.


hey, check out my forum about the thing that bothers u most bout dp... what bothers me most are these thoughts...i have gone so deep in thoughts about existence god, time space society feelings life.....etc etc... it never ends... but one thing is for sure, these thoughts are pretty intrusive, and they arent really coming from your real helthy self. i suppose when u get back to normal, these thoughts and questions lose all meaning and importance... hope this helped


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## sophiasmith (Mar 30, 2010)

A brilliant and witty video on the subject


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

darris nealy said:


> hey, check out my forum about the thing that bothers u most bout dp... what bothers me most are these thoughts...i have gone so deep in thoughts about existence god, time space society feelings life.....etc etc... it never ends... but one thing is for sure, these thoughts are pretty intrusive, and they arent really coming from your real helthy self. i suppose when u get back to normal, these thoughts and questions lose all meaning and importance... hope this helped


I once heard recently that one is not crazy when one realizes how uncomfortable certain certain obsessive thoughts can be. I appreciate so much your response. It feels good to know that this doesn't come from my healthy self. I know when I haven't been so anxious, there is a part of me that doesn't need to know the answer to such questions with such urgency. I will check out your forum soon!


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## Hoopesy (Dec 8, 2009)

This is easily the WORST part of my DP. I question reality and why there is anything instead of nothing all the time. It used to be really bad though. When I first got DP I would have daily panic attacks over the meaning of life, it was hell. But you learn to deal with it in your own personal way, and it almost takes you on a spiritual type of journey. I still get random bouts of small anxiety over it, and still think about it everyday. Just remember that ALL of this is caused by DP, and like someone said your "real self" would never feel like this. It's just the DP. Remind yourself that when you feel the anxiety coming on. Its just DP and will pass when your DP goes away. Good Luck


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## Planetary (Feb 4, 2010)

You should read Nausea, by Jean-Paul Sartre. It may be a little painful though, but it's worth it. 
I think DP and DR have huge similarities with existentialism.


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