# Does your body/mind ever feel like this?



## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

Does anyone ever feel like their body doesn't belong to them. I almost feel like I am looking at myself from outside of my body, and I start looking at myself and say: oh, yeah that is me. That's right I am a 34 year old female, and this is what I look like, and this is who I am. It is a really freaky, unsettling feeling.

I consciously have to think about who I am. On the bright side, I get to look and maybe have compassion for myself from an outside point of view for a second, but I don't want to have to live my life like this for good. I feel like something is definitely off, and am stunned that supposedly just anxiety alone can cause this.

I am afraid of forgetting people's faces and names. I am also afraid of losing basic skills I have always known. I hate this. Anyone else feel this way at times?


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## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

Of course Miss 2deep! (that really did sound better in my head lol)

99% of the time I feel that way, but I guess a huge step towards losing the unsettling feeling behind it, is to just accept it. I know that sounds dangerous, especially to those who are in such a great need to find control in themselves and their lives, but I can honestly say that just by accepting the fact that you feel that disjointed kind of feeling, you'll lose the anxiety behind it which in turn will decrease the sensitivity to this kind of sensation. I just call it my goofy feeling which kinda takes away all the stigma behind it.. Afterall its just a goofy feeling! It took some work to get myself in that mindframe, but I'm glad I got there :]

Just have faith missy.. I see you post a lot of similar threads, which I can understand the reason behind.. That great insecurity in yourself is scarier than any kind of horror story. But you really must have faith in yourself. Take it from me - I've been to the depths of hell and back again, only to go back there with more experience which is making the journey back out a lot less to endure. You will get there, and you will be the same person. You'll have all your skills, your language, your comprehension, everything will be there. I promise you with every ounce of my being :]

I do feel for you though, as even with all my knowledge on DP, I still struggle at times, so heres a massive e-hug from me to you! *HUUUGGGGLE* :]


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## jessykah714 (Apr 6, 2010)

i feel like this every minute of the day! && yes its very weird and makes me uncomfortable in my own body, it feels like its not me. the thing i HATE sooo much is that when i look in the mirror i cant recognize myself and when i look at pictures it feels like its not me even though i know it is. && i wanted to tell you that i really like reading your forums.. out of most post i read i can really relate to u the most, we think sooo much alike lol. well i hope you feel better hun.<3


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

RenZimE said:


> Of course Miss 2deep! (that really did sound better in my head lol)
> 
> 99% of the time I feel that way, but I guess a huge step towards losing the unsettling feeling behind it, is to just accept it. I know that sounds dangerous, especially to those who are in such a great need to find control in themselves and their lives, but I can honestly say that just by accepting the fact that you feel that disjointed kind of feeling, you'll lose the anxiety behind it which in turn will decrease the sensitivity to this kind of sensation. I just call it my goofy feeling which kinda takes away all the stigma behind it.. Afterall its just a goofy feeling! It took some work to get myself in that mindframe, but I'm glad I got there :]
> 
> ...


Thank you so much RenZime! I feel warm fuzzies from your e-hug, and I certainly need them with this damn DP! I am so grateful for this board to find such wonderful support from people such as yourself! I think that part of my problem is wanting to be in control so much! I end up second guessing myself all the time, which in turn causes way more anxiety, and of course more DP! I agree that the great insecurity is way worse than any horror story. When I overcome this, I will never take anything I used to take for granted. I sometimes have to work at letting go, and saying Damn, if I spontaneously go crazy when I am at work, let it be...I won't be able to control it. It is almost as if I am not having enough faith in my life, and myself. Thanks again! Your post really helped!


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

2deepathinker said:


> Thank you so much RenZime! I feel warm fuzzies from your e-hug, and I certainly need them with this damn DP! I am so grateful for this board to find such wonderful support from people such as yourself! I think that part of my problem is wanting to be in control so much! I end up second guessing myself all the time, which in turn causes way more anxiety, and of course more DP! I agree that the great insecurity is way worse than any horror story. When I overcome this, I will never take anything I used to take for granted. I sometimes have to work at letting go, and saying Damn, if I spontaneously go crazy when I am at work, let it be...I won't be able to control it. It is almost as if I am not having enough faith in my life, and myself. Thanks again! Your post really helped!


By the way, I like the name: Miss 2deep! lol!


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

jessykah714 said:


> i feel like this every minute of the day! && yes its very weird and makes me uncomfortable in my own body, it feels like its not me. the thing i HATE sooo much is that when i look in the mirror i cant recognize myself and when i look at pictures it feels like its not me even though i know it is. && i wanted to tell you that i really like reading your forums.. out of most post i read i can really relate to u the most, we think sooo much alike lol. well i hope you feel better hun.<3


Hello Jessykah! Thank you so much for your reply! I am so grateful someone else such as yourself understands! It is so hard to talk to other people about this. I told my brother for instance, and he felt this was just me being a hypochondriac. I told him that this is absolutely 100% my experience. I was at work, and the room seemed totally distorted and I felt disoriented like I had never been there, but I know I have. It is so scary! I am so glad you liked my forums! I like yours as well! That is sweet of you to say! I hope you feel better soon!! When we do, we will be much stronger for having had to go through this! <3


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

I like what Renzime said. I am also in some kind of true hell, but I'm trying to accept it. It's hard... REALLY hard!
But still, I don't like to go to this board and just counting my endless symptoms and weird feelings just like 90% of people are doing here. It could only makes me feel even worse. I have better periods, I have hellish periods, but I really don't want to live through my worst symptoms more times than I need by mentioning them all here.


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

nix said:


> I like what Renzime said. I am also in some kind of true hell, but I'm trying to accept it. It's hard... REALLY hard!
> But still, I don't like to go to this board and just counting my endless symptoms and weird feelings just like 90% of people are doing here. It could only makes me feel even worse. I have better periods, I have hellish periods, but I really don't want to live through my worst symptoms more times than I need by mentioning them all here.


Well, I need to recount my symptoms here. I also try and write positive things if you haven't noticed, but I also need to write when I have crappy days. If I didn't write posts like I wrote, I would go batty. It helps to write on this board if I get depersonalization.


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## Mario (Oct 26, 2009)

2deepathinker said:


> Well, I need to recount my symptoms here. I also try and write positive things if you haven't noticed, but I also need to write when I have crappy days. If I didn't write posts like I wrote, I would go batty. It helps to write on this board if I get depersonalization.


You are completely right.
We are all here to support each other.
That's what these foruns have been made for.


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

2deepathinker said:


> Well, I need to recount my symptoms here. I also try and write positive things if you haven't noticed, but I also need to write when I have crappy days. If I didn't write posts like I wrote, I would go batty. It helps to write on this board if I get depersonalization.


It's not just you. Many of them here don't have better job than just counting their symptoms with "how screwed I am today" stories. 
I understand that all of us feel really awful, but whining every day for months or years about this condition is the worst thing person with DP can do. You are all simply feeding your fears by counting same symptoms every day. 
Everybody with DP/DR knows it's really hard to live with DP, but whining here on daily base ain't gonna cure anybody. 
When I am at worst, I'm not coming to this board by saying "I feel awful today, probably I will end in psychiatristic hospital, I have this for thousands and thousands of years etc." 
Would that help me? 
Would help if somebody says to me then "just stay strong... take a medicaments... go to hospital... blah blah blah"... no, it wouldn't help me a bit. 
Stop counting your symptoms for a while and go ride a bike, hang with your friends, excercise outside while it's sunny, listen to the music etc. 
The only good thing on this board is "recovery" section. Everything else is mostly completely useless. By reading many of posts I felt even worse. 
When I put some link to some recovery story, there is almost not any response, but when somebody starts to whine, we have 1000 responses then with "oh, I feel awful too" kind of responses.
So, do you people want to recover or not!? Do you really need to confirm to yourself every f***ing second of your life that you have DP/DR? 
YES, YOU HAVE IT AND YOU ARE SCREWED JUST LIKE ME! 
Is that fact makes you to feel better or you will need to confirm that fact after 1 hour again?
I understand people that are scared after having this for 1st time in their life, so they don't know what is wrong with them, so they find some comfort in knowing that they are not the only ones, but counting your symptoms for months and months here you only scare other people and you scare yourself.


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

nix said:


> It's not just you. Many of them here don't have better job than just counting their symptoms with "how screwed I am today" stories.
> I understand that all of us feel really awful, but whining every day for months or years about this condition is the worst thing person with DP can do. You are all simply feeding your fears by counting same symptoms every day.
> Everybody with DP/DR knows it's really hard to live with DP, but whining here on daily base ain't gonna cure anybody.
> When I am at worst, I'm not coming to this board by saying "I feel awful today, probably I will end in psychiatristic hospital, I have this for thousands and thousands of years etc."
> ...


I don't know what to say to you other than that it makes me actually feel good, not bad to read other people's symptoms.


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

2deepathinker said:


> I don't know what to say to you other than that it makes me actually feel good, not bad to read other people's symptoms.


OK, that's your choice and way of dealing with DP. To me, it makes it only worse. Actualy many people already said (some of them are cured) that this board makes them to feel even worse, so they simply stop visiting this site.


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

nix said:


> OK, that's your choice and way of dealing with DP. To me, it makes it only worse. Actualy many people already said (some of them are cured) that this board makes them to feel even worse, so they simply stop visiting this site.


As cool as all of you seem, I think if I am cured...I would be living my life and not think about the DP/DR. I am glad you are focusing on the Road to Recovery board. I will check it out as well. Take Care.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

nix said:


> By reading many of posts I felt even worse.


true. when i read others symptoms, i start to notice them too. it's weird.


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