# dementia



## Aly (Jun 13, 2016)

It feels like I have dementia, but I'm only 19 for fucks sake.. I shouldn't be dealing with all of this..I feel lost and confused 24/7. My personality has completely changed.. it's like I have no personality anymore. I have no thoughts or anything and I feel nothing. I'm unable to feel love towards anyone. I was at a restaurant with my family and I couldn't think of any words to say.. I basically said nothing the whole time. My great aunt has dementia, and they were talking about it.. my uncle said something like "they just sit there and stare into space with a blank mind.. I can't imagine how difficult that would be.." and I'm sitting there thinking to myself "that's what I deal with on a daily basis.." I almost got lost trying to find my way back to the table at the restaurant. I can't enjoy anything. It feels like I've lost myself. I can relate with old people more than I can relate with anyone else..I honestly feel like I'm dying.. like I'm just slowly losing myself, and I feel like it's only going to get worse to the point where I'm going to forget my own name.


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## alnadine20 (Oct 22, 2014)

Ya ive literally turned into no one/nothing


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## Aly (Jun 13, 2016)

and honestly, I've accepted it. I'm not fearful of it. I'm just tired of it. I'm so tired.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Aly, I feel exactly the same , like word by word... This is not okay!!! How long has this been going on for you? And how f did it start?


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## Aly (Jun 13, 2016)

mezona said:


> Aly, I feel exactly the same , like word by word... This is not okay!!! How long has this been going on for you? And how f did it start?


It started when I was in high school, because I went through a lot then (bullying, severe social anxiety, drug addict mom, death of my drug addict mom) but it was a lot more subtle.. for some reason it has gotten a lot more severe within the past year.. I can barely function. I completely dissociate as soon as I leave my house. My 60 yr old dad has to remind me of everything because I can't remember anything. It's just sad.


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## Aly (Jun 13, 2016)

and yesterday when I was at the mall, I accidentally left my wallet on top of a pile of clothes.. I was so close to leaving the store without it, but luckily I remembered.. I got yelled at by my brother and my dad, and I'm just standing there feeling helpless


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

This is the worst. I feel like my whole sense of "self" has been eroded after my mind went blank. I no longer feel connected to anyone, including my parents. I feel like an emotionless automaton, just this "awareness" walking around. I can be in a huge crowd of people and my brain feels nothing - no stimulation or emotions whatsoever...like I'm not even there - just an observer without any feelings or thoughts.


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## Brady12 (Nov 27, 2016)

Sometimes I fear derealization is an early symptom of Alzheimer's or dementia. I would love a study to be done to know if there is a correlation between them.


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## MichaelTheAnhedonic (Aug 31, 2016)

Dementia in young people is veeeeeery hard to get. When your neurotransmission is disrupted, some parts of the brain have low activity. It's like they're turned off. DP is kinda simulation of frontotemporal dementia. 2 years ago, just like you I thought that I've got some kind of dementia. Got my CT scan and it was all clear.


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Yes, dementia is almost unheard of in young people. There is a form of it that affects those younger than truly elderly people, but even that form usually won't materialize until 45-50 years of age. To have it any younger than that is extremely rare. The only exception would be alcoholic wet brain, but even that is pretty difficult to get. Dementia usually also develops pretty rapidly. Many of those who develop it will be in some of care home (or dead) within a few years. So no, we don't have it, and I also don't think DPDR is necessarily a pre-cursor to it. Dementia is often hereditary, whereas most of us developed DPDR out of the blue, without family members who have it, and at a young age. So I believe that our brains are still there underneath it all - just not firing on all cylinders. Fortunately, this is reversible. I do know that it is entirely possible to go from feeling this way to feeling 100% better. I just don't know how to achieve it.


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## Aly (Jun 13, 2016)

I know that I don't have dementia, but it feels like I do


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Chicane... I used to drink a lot... Could it be the wet brain in my case?


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

mezona said:


> Chicane... I used to drink a lot... Could it be the wet brain in my case?


It's possible but pretty unlikely. Did your doctor mention anything about it? Do you stumble when you walk, have false memories? Confusion, hallucinations, problems speaking/swallowing? Definitely get checked out if you're in any doubt. In the meantime, lots of B-vitamins (especially B1/thiamine) would be highly recommended.


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## Sam1814 (Dec 24, 2014)

Aly said:


> It feels like I have dementia, but I'm only 19 for fucks sake.. I shouldn't be dealing with all of this..I feel lost and confused 24/7. My personality has completely changed.. it's like I have no personality anymore. I have no thoughts or anything and I feel nothing. I'm unable to feel love towards anyone. I was at a restaurant with my family and I couldn't think of any words to say.. I basically said nothing the whole time. My great aunt has dementia, and they were talking about it.. my uncle said something like "they just sit there and stare into space with a blank mind.. I can't imagine how difficult that would be.." and I'm sitting there thinking to myself "that's what I deal with on a daily basis.." I almost got lost trying to find my way back to the table at the restaurant. I can't enjoy anything. It feels like I've lost myself. I can relate with old people more than I can relate with anyone else..I honestly feel like I'm dying.. like I'm just slowly losing myself, and I feel like it's only going to get worse to the point where I'm going to forget my own name.


This. THIS. Literally my greatest fear. Everything is so unfamiliar. My name, my face, my friends, my family, my home&#8230; It feels like amnesia of some sort. I'm truly terrified that one day I'm going to wake up and look around my bedroom and have no idea where I am, or who I am&#8230; Feels more possible Every day


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## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

I can relate to this whole post. I wake up every day in tears because of how disconnected/uncomfortable I feel the second I wake up. I feel like I too have some form of dissociative amnesia. Im only 18. I seriously dont remember what its like to feel "normal" or "real". I barely remember my past and my short term memory is bad too. I feel like I lose myself more and more each day. I would rather much have the side of dp with the racing mind and non stop anxiety than the totally blank mind that robbed me of everything that made me, me.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Well, Heather, I have the non stop anxiety AND a blank mind. Fun.


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