# The PCP experience similiar to depersonalization?



## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

I've been reading some effects of pcp and they state that it causes you to detach from your body and your surroundings, like you know they are there but you can't feel them.

I am worried about PCP possibly being inside the marijuana I smoked a while back that made me feel very strange and confused.


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

The only thing is that everyone around me smoked the same stuff and they definitely didn't react to it like I did. I reacted to it with sheer confusion and ego loss accompanied by panic and terror after the high wore off. They just sat there all stoned.


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## flipwilson (Aug 19, 2006)

youll never know, so dont even bother thinking about it. I thought about the same thing, but odds are it wasnt laced. Deal with the known present.

peace.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

needacure it was probably just the pot.

I knew who my suppliers were when I was using drugs and I got extreme effects just from regular buds that I was used to smoking all the time. Just all of a sudden Pot started reacting to me as if I were smoking PCP or something even harsher.

Weed is tricky like that.

This is why many people think that Pot is Ok and that it don't cause problems. It won't have much effect on your for awhile but then all of a sudden it can ruin your life. It is different for everyone. Some people never have a problem with it and some people flip out the first time they use it.

For me it can actually induce LSD flashbacks that are very crazy, probably even much worse then PCP and it only would take 1 or 2 hits off a joint for me to flip out.

All I can say is to no longer mess around with any illegal drugs, not even a small dose of anything. They can be more nasty then death.


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

LOSTONE said:


> needacure it was probably just the pot.
> 
> I knew who my suppliers were when I was using drugs and I got extreme effects just from regular buds that I was used to smoking all the time. Just all of a sudden Pot started reacting to me as if I were smoking PCP or something even harsher.
> 
> ...


Yea man it's just so messed up...

I smoked weed for one month and Salvia 2 times with no ill effects in july 05 then 4-5 months of no drugs and HIGH stress and I smoke 1 hit of whatever it was and feel like I smoked PCP, messed my brain up sooo bad, it didn't feel like a salvia trip and it didn't feel like getting "high" on weed. It felt like my mind's hard drive was being erased and destroyed. Completely dead mentally and flashes of light everywhere.

Now after about 1 year and 7 months of recovery after 1 night of watching some stupid special on msnbc about a schizophrenic man who pushed a woman onto a subway train I felt very panicky/anxious and started obsessing over going crazy which sparked these feelings all over again...

I feel very bad... very dissociated and I get this feeling like the beginning of a salvia trip where my skin feels very tingly and a sinking feeling in my stomach. I start to sink inside my head and sort of like day dream into my thoughts. It's episodic just like the last time, I could feel completely fine 1 hour then suddenly bam it comes on again...

I keep wondering if these are Salvia flashbacks or flashbacks from my last horrible experience with Marijuana or both. Anyone that can help plz do. I feel very guilty about doing Marijuana and Salvia and I am contemplating suicide, even tho I don't think I'm gonna do it. I dunno


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> I keep wondering if these are Salvia flashbacks or flashbacks from my last horrible experience with Marijuana or both.


Yeah I would say that they are flashbacks.

When I first learned about DP/DR then I labeled all my problems with DP/DR, but it was clear to me after awhile that DP/DR is just kind of a basic side effect I got from my bad trip. My flashbacks used to hit me all the time, like 20 or 30 time a day and sometimes would last all day long. They are much more then DP/DR. It feels exactly like I am tripping on acid again and it is really bad. So I figure the best word to use to describe these experiences is to call them flashbacks. I think that is fitting for you also.

I don't think there is a whole lot that can be done to totally heal and ride yourself of all flashbacks. I think that it is wise to avoid anything that you know does cause the flashbacks like for example smoking pot. I also try to avoid stress and any situations that I know cause me to get flashbacks. 
Over time they do seem to get better but I am not sure if my brain can ever fully recover from what I have done to it. All I know is that it does "heal" somewhat over time. I am sure you will get better in time also.



> It felt like my mind's hard drive was being erased and destroyed. Completely dead mentally and flashes of light everywhere.


Yeah for me I was simply in a state of shock the whole time because of what was happening to me. I did not even know for sure it was the drugs that was doing it because I was so messed up. I had the added problem of living in a drug house and having many different people pushing drugs on me as if I were just only alive so I could get high with everyone that came into that house. It was really crazy. Everyone was always calling me a lightweight but in reality I was smoking more and using more drugs then just about anyone else that was there. "lightweight my ass" "Ive just slipped into another universe" thats what I always kept saying to myself.

I smoked pot for like 3 years with no problem and then all of a sudden pot started reacting to my brain as if the smoke itself was battery acid or something. I don't know how it can all of a sudden react so differently with your mind but it does somehow. Something just happens that makes it become a totally different and bizarrely more powerful drug just overnight. :? The question of what exactly happens to make the drug react so differently is a question for the scientist to answer, I only know how horribly miserable it is to actually experience the nightmare. 
And that is why I tell everyone to quit messing around with drugs because street drugs are just a nightmare waiting to explode in your face.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> nyone that can help plz do. I feel very guilty about doing Marijuana and Salvia and I am contemplating suicide


needacure if you believe in the bible at all then you should think about how much you would be throwing away if you did kill yourself.

The only thing that keeps me living is my realization of how amazing creation is. I look at myself in the mirror and I think about how complex I am and how intelligent my creator must be and it makes me realize that there must be a good reason for all of this.

What we have been given in life is a gift that is more then anything else we will ever get. We are alive and we exist! Don't be so quick to throw away your own existence.

Personally I have lost hope for this world and for my life in this world but that is not enough for me to take the action of suicide because I have a very firm belief that God is going to set up his Kingdom here on this earth soon. I believe that there is a chance that I may actually be able to live there and I believe that I may be able to help some other people learn how to accept Jesus offer before I die. This is what makes me know that I have to stay alive. I can not just throw myself away no matter how much I want to. There is just to much at stake. We were put on this earth for a reason. That is so that we could enjoy life. I personally would like to see what life is really supposed to be like for us in a perfect world. I want to see God's Kingdom for myself no matter how hard it is for me to get there.

needacure you don't know what will happen in your future. 
Don't throw away what you are not even sure about yet. Your future may be an eternal one of happiness in a perfect world. You just don't know, but if you kill yourself then you are eliminating any chance for anything good to come your way.


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## Ludovico (Feb 9, 2007)

It's extremely unlikely that the pot had PCP or any dissociative in it. Marijuana in itself can cause out-of-body experiences much like PCP/ketamine/MDMA at the right dose too. Marijiuana is generally a pretty tolerable drug but ultimately it is still a psychedelic capable of enducing powerfully altered states of consciousness.

Remember that with time and patience, everything can be healed. You are not stuck with some permanent life ending disorder - DP is 100% recoverable. Stay positive mate


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

Yea I doubt it as well, thanks for your replies.

I'm slowly started to get better again. I just haven't experienced anything like this in a long while and it kind of woke me up.


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## Guest (Jul 30, 2007)

THERE IS NO AY IN HELL ur dealer would waste money on giiving u free pcp


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

MentallyIll said:


> THERE IS NO AY IN HELL ur dealer would waste money on giiving u free pcp


More than likely you are right and there really is no way to tell at this point. I guess that the marijuana I smoked was just marijuana and it had a very negative effect on me.

I don't believe I've been getting salvia flashbacks either because they do not feel like a Salvia trip.

It feels like the last marijuana experience. I'm a whole lot better now. I suggest none of you give up on yourselves and just keep trying to better yourselves in any way possible.


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

Ok I now have a different theory...

After reading alot of the stories about PCP laced weed on erowid.org

I am now convinced that I have smoked PCP laced weed. The stories are very much like to what I have experienced.

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=13246

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=62874

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=32419

It was no regular marijuana...

I have never experienced anything like that on regular marijuana...

This is what happened. I smoked 1 hit of this pcp weed and then I had a reaction similiar to it. In which everything was going crazy and my mental state went gone..

I then stopped smoking that pcp marijuana and smoked other marijuana that was not laced with PCP...

The initial experience of the marijuana laced with pcp then caused me to experience a bad high with the regular unlaced marijuana..

The high made me feel very stupid, extreme loss of insight. Afterwards i had an almost psychotic reaction from the after effects consisting of extreme dissociation/feeling very ill phyically/ extreme depression/disturbed thinking for days and weeks afterwards.

Now my brain has been changed, I can definitly feel the brain damage that it has caused.

Making pcp is relatively easy and the drug dealers seek to make more profit by spraying it on cheap weed and passing it off as high grade.

This is the jist of it. This is a nightmare


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

needacure it is very unlikely that you smoked PCP and did not know about it.

I know a lot about the drug business and I am telling you it is very unlikely.

It is possible though.

People also lace Pot with strip 9 and many other things.

Cocaine and Opium are probably the most common drugs that people lace Pot with.

But if you were the only one freaking out then you can be positive that you were just reacting badly to the Pot. If nobody else seemed to have a problem with that weed then the weed was not laced with PCP.

It don't really make a difference anyway.

It will not change your situation now no matter what you smoked. It could have been crack. Who knows. The fact is that you smoked it already. So whatever it was does not make much difference anymore. I have personally done many different drugs but I don't care to even list them to a doctor, there is just no point. It don't make much difference. I tell them that I have abused drugs in my past and then toss out 1 or two names to make them happy. PCP, Crack, ICE, Heroin, peyote, shrooms, embalming fluid, LSD, Opium or Pot. It don't matter. once they are in the past then the damage is done already. Doctors can not do much of anything to erase time and undo the effects that those drugs may have had on you.

Time does heal though. In time your brain can heal by itself. And also you could get psychiatric help to deal with the trauma but don't expect the doc's to be able to help that much with actually healing your brain.

Don't spend to much energy trying to figure out what does not even matter. This is my point. It is a waste of time to even think about this. Focus on getting better and forget about the mistakes you made in your past. Leave them behind you and focus all your attention on getting better. That is the only way you will heal. Obsessing over what drug may have been laced with your pot will never help you at all. Focus on the future and on healing and on positive things. Then in time you will get better.


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## Guest (Jul 31, 2007)

needacure said:


> Ok I now have a different theory...
> 
> After reading alot of the stories about PCP laced weed on erowid.org
> 
> ...


L O L sorrycant even feel sorry for yo u .
I agree you seem braindamaged with that logic your using but ur really not
Listen UR A HYPOCHONDRIAC NOTHIN MORE NOTHINLESS stop readin urself crazy

THERE AS NO HEROIN COCAINE SPEED OPIUM OR SHIT in ur weed


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

MentallyIll there is no way to know that for sure.

It just does not matter anyway needacure.

If you keep worrying yourself about these kinds of things that don't even matter then you will be going down the road of hypochondria.

Best thing to do is just forget about it.

You smoked some weed, it messed you up.

Don't ever smoke weed again.

It's that simple.

Focus on getting your life back in order and stop telling yourself that you have fried your brain.

I can tell that you are not really that messed up. 
If you were really messed up then you would not be able to write so well.

Most of your problems are probably stemming from anxiety right now.


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## Ludovico (Feb 9, 2007)

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Depersonalization = Hypochondria squared


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## Guest (Jul 31, 2007)

LOSTONE said:


> MentallyIll there is no way to know that for sure.


I know ur right lostone but at the same time none of us can be 100% ew didnt sit on a heroine needle that day DP/DR set in by accident and that set off all our DP/DR.
It jut doesnt make sense IF he smoked PCP he would KNOW.

Ive had insane bad weed experienes, they are "set oif" by the weed but exagarated psychologically by our anxieties.

IF he smoked PCP once he would NOT experience the effects still after so long time. It would create NO braindamage.
Also Ive noticed his post which are screamin "IM A ANXIOS HYPOCHONDRIAC!" WHICH indicates two things:

He did NOT smoke PCP
He is hypochondriac with DP/DR


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

Hypochondriac sounds pretty fitting for this thread.

There are many Hypochondriac threads on DPselfhelp.

The point is that it don't matter.

needacure it simply makes no difference now anyway.

It could have been arsenic..

What difference does it really make now?

If the information about what you smoked changes then is that going to make your situation change at all?

No, it won't.

So don't worry about what you may have smoked. Just focus on getting better.


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

Thanks for your posts.

I am not certain it wasn't pcp or some other chemical in it...

I just know that I had a crazy ass experience and felt very stupid/bad. The only way I would know is if I went to the doctor and got my blood tested for that stuff which I should have done.

I am really sensitive to drugs for some reason, it just scares me to think that I have even put pcp in my body, I never wanted to smoke no pcp, I always knew that drug was fukn insanely bad.

It makes me want to go out and kill the people who put that shit in it.. It's wierd because I read about the experiences the people with pcp laced marijuana had and I can understand how it feels and then I read the people who say they only smoked regular marijuana and I too can connect to how they feel.

I just don't feel the same, It was my fault for smokn marijuana with dp/dr to begin with. I'm just stupid and gullible. Anyone else who smokes marijuana with this disorder, I would strongly suggest you quit immediately unless you really wanna know what hell feels like.

Also LOSTONE could you tell me what Strip 9 is?


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

I was talking about strych-9.

I was thinking strip for some reason, it sounds like stric but it is spelled strych-9.

The full name is "Strychnine".

It is a very serious poison and it would probably only be laced with pot if someone was trying to kill you.

Many people think that this stuff is in all LSD blotter paper as like a by product but thats not really true.

It has been found laced with drugs/LSD a few times but it is very rare.

My old friends used to talk about mixing this stuff with embalming fluid and making wicky sticks out of it.
I thought for a while that I had been poisoned with this stuff or something like it but then I realized that it was very unlikely because nobody I knew would have even known how to get any of this stuff. I was just paranoid because of the unbelievable bad trip that I had that was not going away.

By the way,
Wicky sticks is what you would call a joint that is usually laced with PCP and Embalming fluid. Usually it is just a cigarette or joint dipped in embalming fluid but sometimes it is also laced with PCP.

If you had smoked anything like this then you would know about it.

For example PCP almost always creates a feeling of euphoria and feelings of strength and invulnerability. Embalming fluid also creates a feeling of strong euphoria when smoked.

Pot will never make you feel that way. It may create a slight feeling of euphoria but not like PCP. And the feelings of invulnerability is pretty unique to PCP. Those feelings are very real. That is why cops have such a hard time restraining people that are on this drug. It is because in their own mind they have become something of a super hero. LOL.

What happened to you does not sound to me like it was anything more then a very bad reaction to weed. There are many other people on here that have had that same "bad" reaction. I myself will have this bad reaction just from taking a few hits from a joint.

I have messed myself up with many other drugs but all it takes for me to feel like I am tripping hard on acid is to just take a hit from a joint.

Pot is strong enough to seriously mess people up by itself. It just does not always work the same way on everyone. The same buds also do not always have the exact same effects on the same person using it if it is used at different times. For example if you smoke pot when you are happy then you may have a very different experience from when you smoke pot when you are really mad or really depressed.

Messing around with any hallucinogens is like playing rush and roulette, you just don't know for sure when it is going to go off in your head and make a mess out of your mind.

This is why these drugs are illegal.


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## Ludovico (Feb 9, 2007)

LOSTONE said:


> Messing around with any hallucinogens is like playing rush and roulette, you just don't know for sure when it is going to go off in your head and make a mess out of your mind.
> 
> This is why these drugs are illegal.


A) The expression is 'Russian Roulette'
B) Hallucinogens are not illegal because they are dangerous. If this were true, Cigarettes and Oxycotin would be illegal.


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## needacure (Apr 25, 2007)

LOSTONE said:


> I was talking about strych-9.
> 
> I was thinking strip for some reason, it sounds like stric but it is spelled strych-9.
> 
> ...


Thanks LOSTONE for the reply

I'm still not sure as to what it was but all I know is that I'm not smoking any drug or drinking any alcohol again.

I feel like my brain can't handle that shit. I think our brains are really sensitive to anything since we are already sensitive to anything while we are sober.

I hope to God you don't ever smoke weed again.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> A) The expression is 'Russian Roulette'


LOL.



I always had it in my head that it was "Rush N Roulette".










LOL..

:lol:



> B) Hallucinogens are not illegal because they are dangerous. If this were true, Cigarettes and Oxycotin would be illegal.


I think this is going into a whole different topic.

I know what your point is without you saying anything more then what you already said.

I will only say that I only half agree with the common ideas about why Drugs are illegal.

And the main reason I agree at all is because I am well aware of the fact that the U.S. DEA and ATF along with other agencies have been involved with the drug trade since the very beginning (involved in dealing those drugs as well as enforcing the laws against dealing those drugs at the same time).

There is actually proof of this in Afghanistan because just before the U.S. took over that nation, the opium fields were all burned. Now that nation is producing more opium then ever! Pretty interesting if you think about it and look into it. The U.S. does benefit a great deal by keeping these drugs illegal and on the black market and so do many big businesses.

If these drugs were not harmful though then I do not believe that they would be illegal. IF people could get high off of crack without the bad side effects then everyone would be addicted to crack and the population would demand that it be made legal.

The government is corrupt and messed up, all of the governments on Earth are, but the public is where the real power is in any nation. People know that most illegal drugs are very dangerous and that is why most people are happy to see that these drugs are illegal.



> Cigarettes and Oxycotin


As far as I know, Oxycotton is illegal unless you have a prescription for that drug.

Cigarettes will eventually become illegal I think but only time will tell. Cigarettes already have big business backing there survival as being a legal drug so there is more money for keeping them legal then money for making them illegal. If more people start to demand that they be outlawed then eventually they probably will be illegal.
Who knows?


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## dpcomk (Aug 10, 2007)

Stop freaking out!

Be calm!

I've gone through the same situation you have, _plenty of times_, I've been around the psychedelic mandala a few times before!

Ok?


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