# Hello!



## Sunny (Oct 24, 2010)

Hi everyone,

I'm Sunny, a 25-years old Dutch girl.
I'm suffering from dp/dr for about 6 months now, due to a burnout/ panic disorder.

The most disturbing part for me is that I'm soooo aware of myself. I have to think about everything that I do. 'Am I really here?' Why am I doing this?' 'How strange it is that I can think?'
Nothing comes natural anymore, I'm thinking about EVERYTHING.

I also find people really strange. I just can't stop thinking about 'what is humanity?' Why do we look the way we look?' Thinking/ feeling like this really drives me insane.

Someone recognises this? Especially the humanity-part?

I'm really scared things will never get back to 'normal', to how I used to experience everything, and just go slowly insane...


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2010)

Hi Sunny,

Welcome to the Forum. I can relate to your feelings. Humans are really weird to think about. And there are many others here who think about all those kind of thoughts you've been having. Have a look around the Road to Recovery & Regaining Reality sections, I'm sure you'll find hope here, and good tips on how to cope and begin your journey of recovery.


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## piescoffer (Dec 10, 2009)

Sunny said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I'm Sunny, a 25-years old Dutch girl.
> I'm suffering from dp/dr for about 6 months now, due to a burnout/ panic disorder.
> ...


I can relate to your symptoms entirely - particularly the humanity thing which is the thing I am presently finding most disturbing. Your post has actually just given my spirits a small lift because it's so nice to know that you are not alone with this.

I too just want things to go back to normal and begin to live with spontenaity without questioning everything like I have never seen it before - looking for answers to questions that it seems there are no answers to - mine was bought on by prolonged anxiety and depression which i am currently receiving treatment for.

I cant fathem why all of the things that I have taken for granted in the last 33 years all of a sudden seem like bizarre concepts - on really bad days I cant watch the TV because my mind won't stop analizing and scrutinizing everything I see to the N'th degree - what are people, how do we think, how do we feel, why do we look like this, what is the point of life .. the list goes on and I just want my life back. I am trying to act the way I used to to try and get back to reality and normality but some days are harder than others. I feel like my soul has departed this body and left an empty shell that cant grasp this existance.

Today has been a particularly bad day - in which the thoughts of ending up in a mental asylum are prevelant - it's as if my sanity is slowly ebbing away.

I am determined to beat this thing though - the old me is still in here somewhere and I need to shake off all of this crap to get back - the more I dwell on the symptoms the worse it seems to get - so got to try and focus my attention elsewhere and keep my mind focussed on my life as it was before all of this started, and keep the faith that it will return to that place in time.

Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk further about this - good luck and my prayers are with all of us that are living with this hell.


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## Sunny (Oct 24, 2010)

Hey Thoughtsonfire& Piescoffer,

Thanks for your replies.



> I cant fathem why all of the things that I have taken for granted in the last 33 years all of a sudden seem like bizarre concepts


Exactly. All my life, as far as I was aware of things, I took everything for granted, Everything was... don't know how to say this right in English, but everything was just normal, it has been the way I've seen it for all my life. And I was just me. Now I'm questioning life, existance, humanity, and my own being. 
Sometimes I just feel so strange being alive!



> on really bad days I cant watch the TV because my mind won't stop analizing and scrutinizing everything I see to the N'th degree - what are people, how do we think, how do we feel, why do we look like this, what is the point of life .. the list goes on and I just want my life back. I am trying to act the way I used to to try and get back to reality and normality but some days are harder than others. I feel like my soul has departed this body and left an empty shell that cant grasp this existance.


Same here with the TV-thing, over-analyzing and empty shell- feeling. Really disturbing.

I also really want my old life, my old me back. My life is such a mess right now. Can hardly function like this. Trying to go out, meet other people, but I'm scared of losing it while around other people.

This feeling makes me think a lot about death, too. How will it be, not to be here anymore? Not to experience everything anymore? And, what's the point in living if you'll die anyway? Are these feelings/ thoughts common while suffering from dp/ dr? 
I'm also really scared to lose my identity and not knowing who or what I am anymore. 
I've been subscribed Citalopram for my complaints, but I'm really scared it will worsen my anxiety and dp/ dr. Anyone who has used this meds? How did they work for you?


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## whatthehell (Jul 27, 2010)

Heyo, I am on citalopram, it seems to work here and there, but it takes time,

so for now, although I still feel out of it alot, I exercise and eat better. Citalopram probably will feel weird at first, but it goes away.


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## Kelly J (Nov 1, 2010)

What's up everyone, I'm new to the forum and just wanted to say hey. Hopefully I posted this in the right section!


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## JJ70 (Nov 1, 2010)

Hi Sunny, just a bit of hope for you. I developed chronic DP/DR when I was several years younger than you and beat it after about 8-10 months. It can be done.

JJ


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## Sunny (Oct 24, 2010)

Thanks JJ, how did you overcome the dp/ dr?

I'm feeling really depressed right now. I'm hyperventilating almost 24/7 and feel so scared. I should try the Citalopram but What if it gets worse?
I'm in a circle I can't get out of.


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## JJ70 (Nov 1, 2010)

Hi, Sunny I just did a thread on this here:

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/24300-i-recovered-mostly/


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## Sunny (Oct 24, 2010)

Thanks JJ.

The point is, I barely have the nerve to go out the house right now due to my panic attacks. 
I'm trying to, but everytime I get punished by having a panic attack. The last couple of weeks I forced myself to do things, to get out of my house daily, visiting friends or go to the mall. But it was no fun at all because of the anxiety and dp/ dr. Being around other people feels weird, because I find people weird. 
So now I'm a nervous wreck, lying on the couch most of the day, really, extremely tired, and I hate this because I've never been this way.

Right now, I'm really nervous and anxious. This dp/ dr thing and anxiety makes me feel I'm slowly dying. Or if I'm already dead. Also scary. 
Don't know what to do anymore...


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## JJ70 (Nov 1, 2010)

Sunny said:


> Thanks JJ.
> 
> The point is, I barely have the nerve to go out the house right now due to my panic attacks.
> I'm trying to, but everytime I get punished by having a panic attack. The last couple of weeks I forced myself to do things, to get out of my house daily, visiting friends or go to the mall. But it was no fun at all because of the anxiety and dp/ dr. Being around other people feels weird, because I find people weird.
> ...


Ok I been exactly where you are, good news is you dont have cronice DP/Dr bad news if you seen my post is your have anxiety deleoping into phobias with DP/DR.
Medication will help you out. Clonazepam and Lamotrogine


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## tracyk859 (Nov 3, 2010)

Hi, I am Tracy . I am a new member of forum. Would a newcomer be warmly welcome here? Good day you guys!!!

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