# WORK and DP/DR



## Guest (May 14, 2005)

hey guys, how is everyone? i just wanted to ask this question , 
i was wondering who all works here, and how there dp effects thier job, or how it is on there job, i just got a new job at walmart, to help pay bills and stuff for college, but i have the worst dp, there and i feel like im not doing anything im doing, it sucks, like why cant i just feel right when i work, i should have remembered that i hate shopping at big stores like that and old navy because i always get DP , so stupid me i go work there and its even worse...please help with ideas.


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

Mishyxo,

A couple thoughts:

First off, I have read (and personally experienced) that the effects of neon/flourescent light can be negative on those who suffer from anxiety problems - something about that particular lighting causes issues withour brains; and don't ask me why, it just does. It's very possible that the poor lighting of some large place like Walmart could induce DP and bring it to an extreme level. One potential fix against this is to take breaks outside. Unfortunately (or fortunately for you, if you're a smoker) you may have to hang with smokers, but it might defeat part of your symptoms.

Being around large crowds, especially if such things make you nervous, can heighten the DP experience as the anxiety levels can raise slightly. Simply ask to be placed into a different department such as the gardening section, etc. Someplace that, perhaps, has fewer traffic, better lighting, etc.

Another point to think about may be your eating habits while you're working there. If you're simply eating garbage on break, that can mess with your sugar levels and give you some nasty issues aside from anxiety/DP. Try eating good foods and staying away from the caffeiene.

These couple suggestions are part of my experience in battling this disorder in a fairly indoors occupation (software development). I take walks regularly, excercise every night at the gym (lifting and cycling). Besides being a great way to stay in excellent shape physically, it's also good for your mind.


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## Guest (May 14, 2005)

thanks alot that helps, i just feel like i cant leave this job, i did that at my last one cuz the lights where giving me headaches, i worked at a supermarket, if i leave here it looks like i cant keep a job, i think im just goign to ask if i can be partime, less hours .


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

Oh, and I missed your question: I'm doing fine, thank you. In fact, the DP has been non-existent in the past week. I believe I'm coming out of the disorder again.


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## Guest (May 14, 2005)

yeah mines like that too, it gets really bad, then fades away for awhile, then comes and hits me again.


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## ShyTiger (Apr 1, 2005)

I work but i work with dogs, which works well for me cause you have to focus on what your doing. Also i dont have to worry to much when i have a panic attack or dp as i dont have to try and hide it. I do find it hard some days and its usually when i am adding scarey thoughts to my dp. I also only work 4 days a week and as it is my own buisness so i can book in as much or as little as i think i can do.I do have to deal with people and other staff but its only 40% of my day. Most of the staff know i struggle with panic, two know about the dp. I'd say one third dont really understand and the rest are very supportive in knowing when i need to be left alone-helps alot! I recently thought that a lot were thinking i was a freak but actually when thinking about it relized i was guessing this. I realized that yes i think that there are a couple that just dont understand and are perhaps uncomfortable with the subject and i completly get that. I know not to raise the subject with them and they leave me alone. It has helped immensly when i focus on what i have to do.


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

way too much narcissism in this thread.


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

How do you feel the narcissism? I'm not getting defensive, I'm only curious...


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

I work at a fast food outlet.

The pro is that if I work hard and the day goes some-what well then I feel exhausted after it and feel positive about having done a good job.

On the other hand the work is repetitive and boring so my mind wanders and I often find myself trapped in DP land but still having to do my job. Other times I induce it deliberately to escape the dreary nature of the work.

Stress is terrible because I have to work with 14-18 year old kids who have little work ethic and constantly telling them to do their work and stop screwing around gets really frustrating.

Being a non-confrontational person I find it hard to be assertive enough to keep them in line, which builds the stress.

/narcissism, before I pine away...


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

ummmm...reticent, do you know what narcissism means? 'cause i just read the whole thread and didn't see a bit of it.

anyhow, i would think that walmart would be one of the worst places to work if you are having to deal with dp. i am a teacher and i have to turn off half of the lights in the room (since they are fluorescent) to even be semi-o.k. to teach. i can't even handle going inside supermarkets or stores like walmart, target, etc, when my dp is really bad. i would suggest starting to look for another job soon if it doesn't get any better. you could work at a coffee shop, or some other place that has dimmer lights and maybe a bit more comfortable atmosphere.


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## Guest (May 16, 2005)

thanks agent... yeah i couldent handle it i quit last nite...
soo im off looking for a new job now


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

when my dp/dr was at its worst the only place i could work was starbucks. the lights are dim enough, you are only required to work in a very small area, and if you work at night your chances of not actually having to help many customers are good. plus starbucks offers good insurance which means you could get more help for your dp. i'm teaching now but i still work at starbucks 2 nights a week for fun.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

Well I'm a supermodel so I don't have to worry about silly things like lights. Check me out at http://www.Iamgorgeous.com

THAT would be narcissism

Actually that would be cool...

Supermarkets have to be one of the prime locations for dr. I have been extremely close to leaving my trolley, fully loaded, at the checkout and walking out. Even now, when I'm doing fairly ok, it makes my palms sweat and my heart race. But only if I think about it. If something distracts me, and it doesn't enter my mind, then all is fine.


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## mcsiegs (Apr 27, 2005)

Mishyxo -

I am really sorry to hear that you had to quit. As Agentcooper said, those stores like Target and Walmart aren't good for us with DP. Too many square feet of flourescent light. Also, you probably rarely get a break from customers.

A coffee shop is a great idea, as Agent said. Also, maybe something like a small bookshop or music store.

You will definitely find a job in which you experience less anxiety. Hopefully you also have supportive parent(s).

As always, I am here to support you.


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

agentcooper said:


> ummmm...reticent, do you know what narcissism means? 'cause i just read the whole thread and didn't see a bit of it.


I didn't read the thread.


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## ShyTiger (Apr 1, 2005)

So at work they just put new lights in. I am struggling big time! The lights are called daylight lights has anyone heard of these? Are they classified as fluro lights? They have an odd light to them. Im thinking of descretly changing them over (just in the room i work in)but can you get non fluro lights in the tubes? Will have to visit light shop maybe!


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

ShyTiger -

Here's a weird trick to try...and I'm not sure if it will work for you, but it works for me.

I have a physical explanation for it - but it's only a guess (theory), I have no proof that this is the case, but - have you ever gone star gazing? I've been an amateur astronomer for years and have spent a lot of time under the stars with telescopes and binoculars and - the naked eye (no aid of equipment). I used to give tours at a local observatory when I was younger - so, I learned something....

Okay - well, there is a trick where, if you cannot see a particular dim star, you avert your eyes a bit to the side. Voila - you're suddenly able to see the star a bit better (try it sometime, after you get it down, you'll be amazed that it works - all you have to do is look to the right or left of the star a bit). Why? Because the rods and cones of your eyes are on the peripheral (outer edges), not immediately behind your pupil. The point of all of this?

Try blinding the peripheral of your eyes by covering them across the top like a military solute (you know, palm open, on your brow); or even on the side - however. You can pull it off like you're merely thinking or resting your head on your hand. But, do that when it starts to get unbareable. If you're in the breakroom - you can just claim that the night before you got sh*t faced and everyone will think you're fun and want to take you home with 'em


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

Strobe lighting caused me my first extreme dr episode. I'm still not entirely convinced it wasn't something more physical aswell. Anyway, I read that epileptics can cover one eye, and the strobe/light sequence that would normally trigger the reaction is incomplete, and they are ok. It works for me in strobe lighting. Guess its similar to that which you're saying Ben?


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

When I go clubbing a wear a pirate's eye patch.... :twisted:


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## ShyTiger (Apr 1, 2005)

Ben-i know what you are talking about cause i noticed that when star gazing before-freaked me out to start with thought something wrong with eyes. Unfortunatly i am requiring both eyes on the job and hands so suggestions not going to work but thanks anyway. I think i am just going to change the lights in there. No one will notice as im the only one that uses that room. 
Ben your pic is a bit disturbing! :shock:


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

g-funk said:


> Strobe lighting caused me my first extreme dr episode. I'm still not entirely convinced it wasn't something more physical aswell. Anyway, I read that epileptics can cover one eye, and the strobe/light sequence that would normally trigger the reaction is incomplete, and they are ok. It works for me in strobe lighting. Guess its similar to that which you're saying Ben?


back in the day, when my dp/dr was much more extreme than it is now, i went over to a friends house and they turned the strobe on. man was that horrible!!! i had to leave and it took me 4 cigarettes to calm myself down. i even have a hard time driving through patchy trees on a sunny day because the shadows create the same effect (to a lesser degree).


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## kchendrix (Feb 28, 2005)

Sorry you had to quit.. but it is a strange thing about the lighting, it does play a role.... We moved our offices to a new building, I don't have the natural sunlight I used to get.... So I know what you mean. I tend to question my reality more at work then anywhere else. That's the part I hate worst of all is the obsessive nature of this disorder. I can almost accept the visual stuff, but the constant, obsessing about reality, How I feel outside of my body, Am I really me... what if I vanish...... Thats the stuff that gets me at work.

KC


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

Reticent said:


> I didn't read the thread.


I laughed hard at this 

/thread hi-jack


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

Reticent said:


> agentcooper said:
> 
> 
> > ummmm...reticent, do you know what narcissism means? 'cause i just read the whole thread and didn't see a bit of it.
> ...


just out of curiousity, why would you write that, then? i mean, dped people tend to be a bit on the insecure side of the spectrum so it seems like a pointlessly mean comment. maybe you were making a joke?


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

Please note this:



> Some people with panic disorder are frightened of their ability to dissociate, other people are not. One of the easiest way people can induce a trance state is when they are relaxed and/or when they are staring : out of the window, driving, watching TV, reading a book, using the computer, when talking with someone. Fluorescent lights can trigger a trance state, so too can self absorption. The more absorbed we become, the more we can induce a trance stare.


Source: http://www.panicattacks.com.au/anxdis/dissoc.html

I think there is definitely a broad connection here. Whether you're religious or not, you kind of accept the thought that our brain works off electrical impulses and frequences (for example, scientists are able to decipher brain activity and timings in milliseconds, etc). Lighting at a particular frequency and wavelength could, very possible, affect us.

ShyTiger - I changed my avatar back to me again; so, you won't be freaked out by it (or maybe you'll be more freaked out now!)


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

agentcooper said:


> Reticent said:
> 
> 
> > agentcooper said:
> ...


Sometimes, you've got to be cruel to be kind.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

Reticent said:


> agentcooper said:
> 
> 
> > Reticent said:
> ...


but only in the right measures...


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

Oh please. I've been called far worse things on this messageboard. I'm sure they'll recover from the additional trauma I have given them.


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

Agentcooper and Reticent,

Honestly, I wasn't offended. I guessed Reticent had good reason in his/her mind, due to the fact she/he said what he/she said and I simply asked for clarification. No answer other than that of "I didn't read the thread." came back and so I concluded, quite rightly, there was no reason for me to be concerned as the statement was blind from the get-go. So, empty statement - empty response; no thoughts in - no thoughts out.
All's good.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

Reticent said:


> Oh please. I've been called far worse things on this messageboard. I'm sure they'll recover from the additional trauma I have given them.


settle down...i was making a joke. its a song by letters to cleo.

"Cruel to be kind, in the right measure 
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign 
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you 
Baby, you gotta be cruel to be kind"

geez!


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## ret (Aug 10, 2004)

sif I have heard that crappy band


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## ShyTiger (Apr 1, 2005)

Lol Ben. No thats much better! The other doll thing just reminded me of a extreamly evil chucky doll!! :shock:


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## enigma (Feb 18, 2005)

ShyTiger said:


> Lol Ben. No thats much better! The other doll thing just reminded me of a extreamly evil chucky doll!! :shock:


You mean Howdy Doody?

That was his best one!

Bring it back, Ben! :wink:

e


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

Actually, it was a doll of Kenny Blankenship from the Spike TV show MXC! The howdy doody reference was f*ckin' funny as hell, though; busted me up.


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

OK so we're all happy that for some reason, strip lighting exacerbates DP/DR for some. Me included. I, right now am sitting at work under loads of this 'orrible light.

My question is, apart from leaving my job, how can I make my environment better? Has anyone experimented with:
- one of those S.A.D. lamps
- sunglasses
- a sun visor/baseball cap
- other

I find, strangely, that I feel better if I slouch right down in my chair and tilt my head back, so that the strip lights are shining in my eyes. God knows what's going on there!


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

sming said:


> Has anyone experimented with:
> - one of those S.A.D. lamps
> - sunglasses
> - a sun visor/baseball cap
> - other


OK, I'm quoting myself here, this is not a good sign 

No one tried any of these suggestions? Come on, surely _someone_ must have at least tried one of 'em???


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

Strip lighting doesn't bother me, but lots of sun does. Kind of crappy that sunglasses make my DR worse. Makes me feel too close or too far from the ground. The depth perception problem is way worse with glasses. But yeah, I'm bothered easily by the sun.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

Buy a child's incandescent lamp and put it in your *immediate* work area. Take it with you if you have to work in multiple locations. It will be the light that is closest to the things that reflect light back at you, so you should notice the cruddiness practically disappear.

This may or may not work, depending on the work situations you are in.

I used to do that because of fluorescent lights, and that was before I knew I had any illness.


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

Sojourner (was Old Lady) said:


> Buy a child's incandescent lamp and put it in your *immediate* work area.


Thanks for the tip, I'll give it a whirl.


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## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

Honestly, I constantly wear a baseball cap, but part of it could be more of a security blanket than anything else. I don't know if it helps or not, but you could give it a whirl.
On the issue of lights, the lights at work (large grocery store) definately make things worse. Also, one time at the beach, when the sun was high in the sky and I was taking a walk, i got really bad dp/dr and i had to basically run back to the beach house. i think heavy sun reflecting off the sand can definately make it worse...think in this case sunglasses would have helped me out.


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

peaceboy23 said:


> Honestly, I constantly wear a baseball cap, but part of it could be more of a security blanket than anything else. I don't know if it helps or not, but you could give it a whirl.


Funny you mention that. I work as an IT consultant and am currently based in a client's office. Therefore I have to wear a suit.

Last week I must have looked quite odd in my suit, since I was trying out a sun visor to reduce DR  It was quite cool actually and I had a lot of people chat to me and poke fun, in a friendly manner (mostly).


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

Sming,

There must be something about the field and the DP, 'cause I can think of at least a couple people I've met in the short time I've been on this board who deal with computers (myself included - I'm a coder).

The worst experience for me, man, is when I'm traveling and dealing with executives or business people as they can be so fucking taxing with their in-your-face personalities. It's like you have to be constantly on your toes around them and put on a facade, it's really quite disgusting. Part of this business I love (the understanding technology bit), but the rest can drive me absolutely nutty.

The last time I was in California I dealt with some business people that really threw me helter skelter and gave me DP very, very bad. Being in the situation there, I really wanted to just get the hell out and go explore the town or something, anything, to get my feet moving. I got into this field to explore and to learn and apply - not to deal with suits.

One thing I've learned that really helps is exercise - and lots of it. If you expel physical energy, it seems there is less there to misbehave on you.


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