# Last steps of recovery?



## coco6996 (May 15, 2013)

I was just wondering when the brain fog that comes from derealization goes away? It seems to be close to my last symptom. It fluctuates as well. Sometimes I can think better than other times. Sometimes I have zero memory, other times its functional. It's so annoying. WHEN DOES THIS PART LEAVE?


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## coco6996 (May 15, 2013)

So there's no way it will stick around forever?!


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## lautje (Mar 4, 2011)

I think you just have to give it some time. 
When I recoverEd the last time it went away because I just let it be.

But you ask about it a lot on this forum and then you keep feeding it. 
Just let it be. 
I wanted that I just only had your symptoms and feel a lot better.

Stop going on this forum and come back after its all gone!


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## Jonngliniak (Jun 11, 2013)

Lol same thing is happening with me msg me


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> it doesn't "go away". it's a result of your low emotional skills. I encourage everybody to stop dwelling on the symptoms, and stop dwelling on DP, because DP is an illusionary problem. It doesn't exist as a standalone illness, or mystic "enemy" that is causing you to feel bad, so you can not "cure" it. It's just a psychiatric label and nothing more.
> 
> You need to learn to deal with your emotions, and underlying issues. And you do that by learning and understanding how your emotional development since childhood was different from what is normal and healthy.


It's not necessarily "low emotional skills" I garentee you that it is all the negative beliefs DP people have about themselves that is blocking the emotional self...the cause of codependants and perfectionism is the belief that you are bad and something is wrong with you. So the defense against that is by covering yourself up and repressing your true self...being perfect. I did not have low emotional skills ... The only thing I had was yes the disorganized attachment which was later in life not so much when I was younger. But ultimately I do not believe I had low emotional skills. I think dpdr hits when the trauma has become to much and has not been processed.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Of course parents and peers are the cause of installing this belief in me but for me personally that's when all my problems started because I was doing quite well socially and academically before I decided there was something wrong with me,


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## RichUK (Oct 6, 2011)

Brain fog can be caused by lots of different things including anxiety, tiredness, hunger, dehydration etc the list goes on.

Just try to ignore it and carry on stressing about it is only going to make it stick around.

Rich


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> Come on missjess, how can you say that you had DP/DR but didn't have low emotional skills? If you had DP, that means you were absolutely terrified that something extraordinary mystic illness is threatening you, because you weren't able to recognize your own feelings. Let alone control them. We all have mistaken fear, sadness, hurt, pain as a "mental illness", "ego-loss", "lost myself", etc.. How can you not call that low emotional skills.
> 
> Parental neglect includes inefficient parental "mirroring", which is essential for a young child to learn how to recognize, control and release its emotions.


At first i thought i did fuck my brain up bcoz my trigger was using drugs namely ice and ecstasy .... and i had not experienced dissociation like that before like i knew i dissociated my angry feelings before dp happened ... but yeah after digging around a bit i knew it was repressed pain but too me bcoz i knew i had been doing drugs hardcore for 8 months it was only natural to think that perhaps i fucked something up.

i do not believe i have low emotional skills, especially because well before high school i was extremely emotionally expressive for me personally it wasn't until my adolescence that i started repressing anger and started getting low self esteem etc the abuse started getting severe in my teenage years


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## Guest (Jul 25, 2013)

I don't think you have low emotional skills either. But fearless always sees things with tunnel vision, blind to his contradictions.

Remember that emotionally expressive person you were. She's still in there, maybe been hurt and needs some nurture, but get her back


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

Selig said:


> To answer your actual question in simple terms, yes.


i love your attitude.


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## aquabella (Sep 16, 2011)

Low emotional skills? NOT EVEN CLOSE! Not all DP is caused by the same one thing. Many factors may come in to play for DP to come forth in an individual and attachment theory and emotional skills are but a few.

DP can also come about as a mild form of PTSD in an otherwise healthily integrated person if trauma is present at some point in life.

While there are many theories... Here is one of mine that works for me:

Many people are not conscious of their choices or are limited by unhealthy unconscious beliefs/attachments and perceived foundations. They are stuck in a reactive responsive cycle of which DP is an unconsciously activated state within. I theorize that DP may be an unconscious reaction to the loss of self (or sense of self), as a perceived foundation, with the purpose of propelling the individual into higher realms of cognitive/spiritual development either out of need or safety.

The deep unconscious mind identifies as 'self' and is infinite in sensory intelligence. This 'self' is in the constant pursuit of protection and safety from physiological and/or emotional harm and sets up the conditioning that maintains this pursuit. Up to a certain point, maturity level and/or element of wisdom (cognitive development) the conditions of this pursuit work well for us bringing 'self' into conscious awareness through our sensory experiences of cause and effect, ie. if I do A...My 'self' has the sensory experience of B. This gives us the power of reason, polarity, identification and the building blocks of critical thinking, ie. "If I eat all my vegetables I get to have ice cream for dessert--I choose not to eat my vegetables because ice cream isn't nearly as yummy as vegetables are yucky; I won't eat vegetables, ever."

As we identify more and more with our sensory experiences, our sense of 'self' becomes the conscious foundation upon which all things are measured against. Having a strong and healthy sense of self is foundational to further growth and development; it enables us to take the conscious steps necessary into the next levels of development...to know 'self' and be 'self'. At this point, many conditions and steps, set in our previous years, will no longer serve us. Our sensory based conditioning of self needs to be deconstructed, broken or destroyed (spiritually, this is the destruction of ego and embodiment of self as divine) in order to express itself in truth (authenticity) and experience the reality of the universe. In general, healthy levels of detachment from self must be cultivated and nurtured in many steps along the way by choosing alternate foundations within which to function.

I suggest that DP may be an abrupt (traumatic) detachment from foundational self or that healthy levels of foundational self were never cultivated enough to withstand the developmental process of deconstruction. Either way, cultivating alternate foundations has cured me of my negative outlook of DP.

I do not suggest pretending to live life in constant joy, nor do I suggest the ignorance of negative experiences-- ON THE CONTRARY...I suggest creating a foundation through which to function in every day life, good and bad. Work it as long as it works and move on. I suggest a plan to create foundations (sense of purpose) that act more as filters, roles and qualities than unrealistic and boring affirmations. Foundational choices that imply movement to and through events with a sense of purpose, whether positive or negative. I find that guiding my senses through a foundation of purpose enlivens and validates the reality of the experience tenfold. Some foundational/sense of purpose examples I've used are: I see connection to things and relationships that I am actively present to. I am being who I am being whenever I am being. I choose to be the creator of my own life. I decide where to go, what to do, and how to do it. Whatever I'm doing in my life, now, will impact my own and others future appropriately. And the most current of foundations (always stated in the present and is a fact of my existence): I am living in the constant pursuit of happiness for the purpose of serving others. <----definitely my favorite and longest run, so far.

These foundations are as essential and as functional as an arm or an eyeball. They are all functioning presently at the same unconscious level as the 'self' was before we lost it in DP. Maybe we haven't lost 'self' at all...maybe our sense of 'self' sought the protection of the unconscious and our consciousness can no longer sense it. When we stand convicted in a foundational choice...we bring the energy of it to the conscious level and begin to act in accordance with our true nature. With the foundational sense of purpose at work at the unconscious level and foundational choices (actions which support the foundation) being made at the conscious level, the mind is in congruence with itself--each part supporting the other. This is higher mind development and indicated in numerous cognitive developmental studies. This state of congruence can also be called higher conscious, super conscious, heart path, authentic choice, activation of personal divine grace, individuation, etc...

I experience 'self' through my foundational sense of purpose--without it...there is no self and the DP is a pretty crummy experience. I find more perspective and truth based in the reality of life by consciously choosing where my heart wants to take me - I am not limited in choices, they abound everywhere - than any perceived notion of my past (before DP).

I will say one more thing before hopping off my humble soapbox ;o) --"CHOICE IS SIMPLE ONCE YOU CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO CHOOSE YOUR CHOICES!!"

With love and support...

Keep on workin' with what works!

-Aquabella


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Phantasm said:


> I don't think you have low emotional skills either. But fearless always sees things with tunnel vision, blind to his contradictions.
> Remember that emotionally expressive person you were. She's still in there, maybe been hurt and needs some nurture, but get her back


Thanks  yes exactly she is hurt nothing to do with low emotional skills I have them I just have some emotional healing to do


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I didn't write a long ass post ? Huh ?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

And who am I trying to convince? I'm simply writing what applies to me and what I feel..

Anyways I don't know if that was directed at me so I'll stop here


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