# Adderall (amphetamine) seems to help a TON short term, but makes things worse long term - what to do?



## KRT (Apr 11, 2011)

Hi all,
I've been suffering from near chronic DP for at least 12 years. About a year ago after I realized my job performance was suffering due to my difficult concentrating and remembering anything of importance, I spoke with my doctor and told her I was having difficulty concentrating due to stress and anxiety. At that point I don't think I knew what DP was actually called or even if I did, I hadn't really told my doctor the full extent of my symptoms. She asked if my anxiety was making it difficult for me to concentrate or if my lack of concentration was making me anxious. I told her I wasn't sure and that's kind of a chicken and the egg type question, but that I was pretty sure it was completely cyclical... each was causing the other.

So she gave me a prescription for adderall and sent me on my way. I have to say that on adderall I feel almost completely fog-free. I can focus freely and am very much 'externalized'. As an added bonus I feel very happy and energetic. It's really like a cure.

However, the adderall only lasts for so long, and after the effect wears off, I find myself right back where I started.

That in and of itself doesn't sound bad at all, right? Just pop a pill and feel better for several hours, then pop another one.

The problem is that I noticed after a couple weeks of doing this, that I was actually feeling far worse when not on adderall... like almost functionally debilitated. I don't know if it's from my anxiety or DP or both, but I have had issues with floaters in my vision, tinnitus, having a lot of sensitivity to light, and other issues where my senses are basically overwhelmed by things most people don't notice or get bothered by. Well, all of these sensitivities became amplified to a much greater degree when I wasn't on adderall. I mean even my own eyelashes were bothering me by getting 'in the way' of my vision, giving me a headache and making it difficult to visually focus on anything at all. After a few more weeks and even trying to increase my dose (which helped for a while), I found that even when on adderall I was still somewhat DP'd, and when off adderall, I was a complete mess a lot of the time.

So frustrating to have experienced clarity and then realize it was taking me down such a bad path.

Since then I have been reading quite a bit on the subject of DP. I've read the 'holy grail' post up top, which says to avoid all stimulants... pretty much anything that ends in "ine", like caffeine and amphetamine. But I also read the book "Overcoming Depersonilization Disorder" which even makes reference to this site as a source of information, and it refers to Adderall as a viable drug to combat the fogginess and lack of concentration caused by DP. My best guess is that I probably have DP due to generalized anxiety disorder (I know I'm an anxious person but can't be sure that's what's causing DP), and the adderall is exacerbating the anxiety, thus eventually making the DP worse in the long-term?

But that then brings me to the question of what to do. It's a catch 22 situation. My ineffectiveness at my job has been causing me a lot of stress here recently, which in turn makes it that much more difficult for me to concentrate or remember things, which in turn makes me remain less effective at my job.

I haven't taken adderall in a couple months now and the DP is back down to pre-adderall levels, but I'm considering taking it again so I can get back on top of my career. I mentioned this all to my doctor, who doesn't seem to be very familiar with DP, and she suggested maybe I should take an anti-anxiety drug AND adderall at the same time. I'm kind of anti-medication as it is, so taking one medication and then taking another to counteract the effects of the first just seems scary to me.

Any thoughts on my conundrum or really about anything I've said at all?

Thanks


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## jd99034 (Dec 2, 2008)

I'd get off that. I took it for years in my teens. You will eventually build a tolerance, and need more and more, and it might help now, because it mostly gets you high, but soon, it will barely get you normal. Then it won't do anything at all, then you wont be able to function even when you take it. And then finally you will have to stop taking it, and there is no good way to stop taking drugs, except slowly, while going through withdrawal. That is a painful experience, and it will cause you way more problems then you have right now.

It's not a catch 22. It will be worse in the long run, maybe even if the short run if you continue to use amphetamine. It's a no brainer, but then again, I just had a horrible experience coming off that particular drug, so I am biased. Do as much research as you can on the drug, and make your own choice.


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