# Hey, I run the DPD cause on facebook.



## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Well, to be completely honest I've heard some bad things about this site.
I run a cause on Facebook to increase awareness on DPD and DR, It's not as active as I'd like it to be but that should be changing within the month.
I had a concerned member of my cause messaging me regarding this website and the apparently abusive moderators and members, this link was being repeatedly posted in the comment section of the cause page so I thought I'd come on, make an account and have a look.
From what I've read today I can't find anything disturbing, it seems like a nice community where everyone has eachothers best interests at heart, something like that is so hard to find these days.

I guess I should write a brief intro about my experiences.

I'm still not too sure wether or not my DP/DR is drug induced or not. I was taking the anti-depressant Effexor (75.5mg) when it all happened but it was also around the same time I started smoking weed. I never had any panic attacks during this time so I'm thinking it was the mixture of the weed and effexor that tipped the scales. My DP/DR became apparent late 2006 and remains unchanged in consistency. 
During this time I haven't experienced any feelings of 'sobriety' just the constant 'brain fog'. My DP/DR doesn't come in waves or fade out from time to time, it's always there, and always distressing. After the first year was up I decided that I'd just have to live with it and deal as best I can, suprisingly that hasn't been difficult. I don't remember what normal feels like anymore so I don't feel like I'm missing out, instead I see it as everyone else missing out because I can notice all the beauty in the simplest things.

Well that's it really, just thought I'd introduce myself.
I'm Claire btw.


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Yeah I got a lot of replies from people saying that this site was great, but what I've heard about it is quite alarming, I still have to check it out for myself really.
If what they said happened really did happen then this site shouldn't be up at all.
It's just awful to think that someone would come here looking for help and end up worse than they were beforehand just from some ignorant people bullying.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Claire,
I joined this site about a month ago. It has changed my life. 
I have had bad DP for 30 years and always kept it a dirty secret associated with fear and even panic - even 30 years later! 
My psychiatrist does not really get what I am talking about. How can he. Only someone who has had it can fully understand.
I have never been in contact, in any way, with another person with DP until joining. About 5 minutes after my first post someone contacted me. When I replied I was shaking - this guy has got what I have!! 
It was an amazing experiance.

Since joining this group many silly psychological "blocks or walls" have just evaporated. I am reborn. Sounds a little fantastic. but its true.
I still have DP but I feel more real than I have in 30 years.
My problem now is I spend to much time here.

The moderators are vigilant and quick to stop anything inappropriate. I have only seen numbers (established members) who argue with each other over there points of view, and when it gets personal or is no longer serving a helpful purpose, the moderators quietly put an end to it. No one is scolded.

New members are not attacked or abused. 
I can see a person who has been "blocked" act like a disgruntled employee 
People are here for all the right reasons.

So, how are you feeling today Claire? How can we help? 
There is a new member who thinks he my never fall in love again because of his DP. What would you tell him?

_?There was a time in my life when I was younger when I knew I was me. I could smell flowers and the breeze on a summer night took my spirit off to a place of peace and calm. I was once ****(members name) and I used to be in love. Being in love was an emotion that had the ability to stop time, only to allow a focus on what really mattered. I was once **** who enjoyed the unknown and embraced his fear because instinctively it always passed. I was once awake.?_

No one, not even the most cynical, can take issue with that.

Mark


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Much of the very "personal " support goes on with private messages.
You do not even see it.
People who a cured come back because they have close friends on the site.
I feel like a cheerleader.
Mark


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

Excellent job creating a group on FB! It should help spread the message.

As for the people who've spoken nonsense about abuse here, please take it with a grain of salt. This site was created for my girlfriend (soon wife) in 2001 when she smoked Marijuana and experienced severe depersonalization. The website she visited, Andys Board, was the #1 site on the net for DP/DR. Andy announced he was closing his site. I spoke up and offered to take over. Andy DRILLED me with many questions - Andy is/was not one for "BS" and would not have given me his complete site had he thought I would be abusive to members. I have his site on this server now ( http://dpselfhelp.com/andylist.html )

The majority of the return users here are _*highly intelligent*_ people and surely would not come back if these rumors were true.
I have banned in the past, yes. All for the right reasons and I always ask the moderators what they think before doing so.

The same people posting those messages on FB have been the ones e-mailing me for 3 years with ESSAYS of "Abuse of Power". Very strange and I never reply.

Again, great job creating the FB group. Welcome to the world of dealing with the odd balls as owner of that group


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## Guest (Aug 7, 2008)

Hey Claire.


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Wow, well I certainly wasn't expecting the level of defensive that came with all those replies just then.

But really, you can all stop worrying, I'm hear to observe, not accuse. I'm not a 'guilty until proven innocent' type of person.


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Revelation said:


> As for the people who've spoken nonsense about abuse here, please take it with a grain of salt. This site was created for my girlfriend (soon wife) in 2001 when she smoked Marijuana and experienced severe depersonalization. The website she visited, Andys Board, was the #1 site on the net for DP/DR. Andy announced he was closing his site. I spoke up and offered to take over. Andy DRILLED me with many questions - Andy is/was not one for "BS" and would not have given me his complete site had he thought I would be abusive to members. I have his site on this server now ( http://dpselfhelp.com/andylist.html )


I think it's amazing that you took this site on for your girlfriend,
do you experience DP/DR yourself?

Unfourtunatly there have been facts to back up the stories I've heard about this website so I can't take it as just nonsense, As I said, I'm really here to observe. The bullying I've heard about mainly went on behind the scenes so most people wouldn't know about it.

Thankyou for the welcome


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## AntiSocial (Jul 12, 2008)

fuck anyone who said anything bad bout this site. its an awesome place to come for support, ive been treated very well everyones been so niceand so supportive. anyways welcome to the site claire


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

AntiSocial said:


> flower* anyone who said anything bad bout this site. its an awesome place to come for support, ive been treated very well everyones been so niceand so supportive. anyways welcome to the site claire


Thanks for the welcome


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## AntiSocial (Jul 12, 2008)

your very welcome


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Cloverstone said:


> I know you're only here to observe but hopefully as a sufferer you will gain some benefit in the process...you never know. 8)


It seems like I've upset you and I didn't mean to do that, I thought it was best for me to be honest with why I'm here seeing as I don't label myself as a sufferer.

Once you give yourself that label then it's won hasn't it.

I'm just hoping I can help some people out with their questions and my own personal experiences while doing what I came here to do, and that's investigating these claims made by concerned friends.
I only want the best for the members of my cause, surely as a moderator of this community you can understand that.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2008)

clairethecat said:


> Once you give yourself that label then it's won hasn't it.


People label themselves because they know something isn't quite right with them, It is unhealthy in some respects because they can label themselves with something they haven't got and from that depression can sink in for years because no one takes them serious. Although if you can relate yourself to an illness by using common sense (most of the effects of the disorder apply to the person) then it's fair enough, it's fair enough because self doubt gains you nothing it's self. It has won? No... this is an defence mechanism, it could be that with out it... many who gained it through anxiety (which it's self coursed depression) might have ended their lifes because they couldn't cope with the overwhelming emotions; hence why we feel numb. It's not an enemy, it's here to protect us... it just so happens it doesn't know when to shut it's self down.

I can understand why many people see it has an enemy because they had it trigged by drugs etc.


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

clairethecat said:


> I think it's amazing that you took this site on for your girlfriend,
> do you experience DP/DR yourself?


No. I did smoke the same Marijuana and experienced it for about a week. Then it went away, thankfully.

My experiences have been 10 years of going through the up and down emotions or lack there of, that someone experiences when they have DP/DR. Not fun at all 
I've been a supporter, punching board and sometimes even an ass when I didn't want to deal with it and thought she should "Snap out of it", even though that's not how it works, of course. At times it was extremely frustrating but it was all worth the effort.

Thankfully she has been doing A LOT better the past year and a half. She still needs a low-dose prescription of Effexor to help but overall it's been a good year for us.


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> clairethecat said:
> 
> 
> > Once you give yourself that label then it's won hasn't it.
> ...


I have to admit, I had quite a hard time understanding your post.

-I think this is what you were trying to say, I don't know the EXACT terminolgy and everything but this is what I learnt about DPD and why it happens.-
DP/DR is a defense mechanism, People who started experiencing DP/DR from PTSD should know this. When an individual is in a situation or environment where they're placed under a lot of stress, the brain will put all the different emotions into compartments in order to proccess them at a later date (correct me if I'm wrong, this could be something different but when I first started experiencing DP/DR this was the best explanation I found. I don't believe this happens in all cases of DPD but in mine it definatly does.). Because of this compartmentalization the individual becomes numb, unable to sense/feel emotions the same way.
So yes, the brain is doing this to protect the person, but at the same time it creates a frightening new reality which can either be permanant or just a brief episode. 
So I understand how you're saying "It's not an enemy".

Prehaps I should have been clearer before when I said that I don't label myself as a sufferer.
I have permanant DP/DR and I'm looking at a long future ahead with it, because I'm here for the long haul I prefer to be positive about it. I believe that calling yourself a sufferer isn't beneficial at all, and will actually prolong your experience with DP/DR, I know how cheesy it sounds but I can't stress just how important a positive attitude is. 
I mean, how is it going to help if you're just gonna sit around feeling sorry for your self and thinking that the world owes you something because you have this 'terrible affliction'
There's always someone surrfering more, at least it's not a brain tumour.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2008)

It'll be nice if everyone who joined this site received a welcome aboard from the moderators just as clairethecat has. Otherwise great site.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2008)

Im dyslexic.
What you were trying to understand is correct. (Going off topic) Each and every case of DR/DP is different, although this is my own opinion because I believe we experience our surrounding totally different from others; our five senses feed us all with different information and/or we process it differently to others. Although a cloned human... Now that?s another topic to sink into maybe something in the future.

Frightening? DR/DP is all I have known... I would imagine reality it?s self will become frightening for me when I experience it (I agree you that being positive is key with stepping out of this issue).
If you were positive you wouldn?t have let loose hope, you talk as if you?ve given in? Or have I miss read?

Does DR/DP cause depression to all? I somewhat like it myself.



clairethecat said:


> I have to admit, I had quite a hard time understanding your post.
> 
> -I think this is what you were trying to say, I don't know the EXACT terminolgy and everything but this is what I learnt about DPD and why it happens.-
> DP/DR is a defense mechanism, People who started experiencing DP/DR from PTSD should know this. When an individual is in a situation or environment where they're placed under a lot of stress, the brain will put all the different emotions into compartments in order to proccess them at a later date (correct me if I'm wrong, this could be something different but when I first started experiencing DP/DR this was the best explanation I found. I don't believe this happens in all cases of DPD but in mine it definatly does.). Because of this compartmentalization the individual becomes numb, unable to sense/feel emotions the same way.
> ...


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

DpDream said:


> It'll be nice if everyone who joined this site received a welcome aboard from the moderators just as clairethecat has. Otherwise great site.


that's interesting, so other new members don't get the same welcoming party as me?


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> Im dyslexic.
> What you were trying to understand is correct. (Going off topic) Each and every case of DR/DP is different, although this is my own opinion because I believe we experience our surrounding totally different from others; our five senses feed us all with different information and/or we process it differently to others. Although a cloned human... Now that?s another topic to sink into maybe something in the future.
> 
> Frightening? DR/DP is all I have known... I would imagine reality it?s self will become frightening for me when I experience it (I agree you that being positive is key with stepping out of this issue).
> ...


I agree 100% that each case is different, that's why I beleive what cures one person can't cure another.
If DP/DR is all you've known then how do you know you aren't feeling normal, surely there was a time in your life when you felt different. I still remember what it feels like to not have DP/DR and having it is very strange and disturbing. When everything you've known all your life suddenly turns around it's very unsettling. 
I wouldn't say loose hope, When I first started experincing this I found out that there was no known cure. I'm not willing to experiment with different medication so I'm going to live with it, maybe in the future I'll change my mind but for now it seems to be working just fine. I'm not looking for a cure, I'm more hoping to share my coping mechanisms which I believe are important.
When you experience permanant DP (which I'm gathering you do) you have to accept the possibility that you're not going to get "better". Until you do that you're just going to continue suffering.


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## Guest (Aug 9, 2008)

Chemical imbalance; Correct with medication.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Hey Clair,
I saved your image and flipped it around so it was right side up.
I had to. It was making me nuts - more nuts for that matter.
I kept on cocking my head so I could see it right side up.
Then I stood up to turn my head upside down and decided enough was enough. So i flipped it.
Can anyone help me with posting an image? I press Img and nothing really happens.
Mark


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## AntiSocial (Jul 12, 2008)

clairethecat said:


> DpDream said:
> 
> 
> > It'll be nice if everyone who joined this site received a welcome aboard from the moderators just as clairethecat has. Otherwise great site.
> ...


nope, i think like one person welcomed me, but its all good


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## Guest (Aug 9, 2008)

Hey looky here: viewtopic.php?f=27&t=7733&p=68993#p68993

My very first "hello" thread.... guess what? I didn't get a single reply. You know how that made me feel? It made me determined I was gonna owned this place *Applies a 3 year old voice*

I've got the most posts! I got the most posts! =D


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2008)

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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Mark said:


> Hey Clair,
> I saved your image and flipped it around so it was right side up.
> I had to. It was making me nuts - more nuts for that matter.
> I kept on cocking my head so I could see it right side up.
> ...


Well that's... something I guess,
It actually is the right way up seeing as I was laying down when I took it but whatever floats your boat.


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> Chemical imbalance; Correct with medication.


No thanks, medications not for me.

I've already said throughout this site about 6 times that I don't have a problem with it, I just let it do it's thing really.


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2008)

clairethecat said:


> Emulated Puppet}eer said:
> 
> 
> > Chemical imbalance; Correct with medication.
> ...


You don't seem the passive type :|


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

> Well that's... something I guess,
> It actually is the right way up seeing as I was laying down when I took it but whatever floats your boat.


Oh, so it's me that is upside down. Sorry.
You photographers just can't take a normal picture. I am surprised that you did not take a close up of the bottom of your foot and have us try to figure out what it is - or something like that.
I want to do that, but I can't post an image.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Gee Clair, you have left a rather large wake. 
It's like you insulted our collective mom.
Good work.
You have turned a negative into a positive.
We are all just that much closer together now.
Mark

Now we hunt as a pack. Any new people will be neutralized before they have finished writing their first post-just kidding of course.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

> My very first "hello" thread.... guess what? I didn't get a single reply. You know how that made me feel? It made me determined I was gonna owned this place *Applies a 3 year old voice*


We do have to get better at the welcome thing. 
Have been around long enough to say something like that?
I only got one welcome - ironically from ?Antisocial? with his ironic name.
I think my post was just too long and boring.
If I had finally spilled my guts and brain out and got nothing, I would have been a bit disappointed.

BTW studies have shown that listening to early Genesis will exacerbate ones DP. I am listening to some now and I look down at my hands typing and I think they are mine and not really at the same time, they keep getting bigger then smaller and I just floated out the window oh man I just saw Winston Churchill and he said "what up dude?" and I said "did you really have to fire bomb Dresden and he said ".............


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2008)

Noobs aren't interesting to talk to to begin with because you don't know whether or not their interesting. There was this one noob who was a computer game programmer so I was like "wow" cool.. so I did a long post sayin hi etc... and he's not come back since... so why bother? It's up to the noob to get noticed and find the people she/he connects with... or they will just fade away.


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

ya i definitely still feel like a noob. 
but i will take fullll blame for that as i am quite lazy.


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2008)

People have started to bond with you, so I wouldn't class you as a noob any longer.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> Noobs aren't interesting to talk to to begin with because you don't know whether or not their interesting. There was this one noob who was a computer game programmer so I was like "wow" cool.. so I did a long post sayin hi etc... and he's not come back since... so why bother? It's up to the noob to get noticed and find the people she/he connects with... or they will just fade away.


Ya that does seem to be that case.
You have to dive in.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Hello peachyderanged,

When you had that picture taken did that smile of yours feel genuine?
Or is it a fake DP type smile?
Mark


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

BTW it looks very real.


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## Guest (Aug 10, 2008)

clairethecat said:


> I've already said throughout this site about 6 times that I don't have a problem with it, I just let it do it's thing really.


That may well be so but you are not the only person here ,there are new people coming here everyday,so reasurence is not just for your benefit but theres also.

Spirit.


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

ya it's real  
i felt dp at the time but it's still genuine.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

peachyderanged said:


> ya it's real
> i felt dp at the time but it's still genuine.


i can't stop smiling now.

Thanks


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Spirit said:


> clairethecat said:
> 
> 
> > I've already said throughout this site about 6 times that I don't have a problem with it, I just let it do it's thing really.
> ...


Did Claire say there was no hope for anybody?


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

Mark said:


> i can't stop smiling now.
> 
> Thanks


  there's hope for all of us


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## clairethecat (Aug 7, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> You don't seem the passive type :|


I don't know how I can come accross as any type, this is the internet... noones real online.


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## Guest (Aug 11, 2008)

Mask of many ya...


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## Guest (Aug 11, 2008)

Mark said:


> Spirit said:
> 
> 
> > clairethecat said:
> ...


Did I say she said that?...if youve read through the thread then obviously you know she didnt say that,so why ask me?.....not sure what your motivation was here and cant say it matters much because im sure this thread had/has resolved itself now.

Metta
Spirit.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Gee. Just trying to figure out what is going on?
Me no smart.
Mr. Metta


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## lainey B (Apr 14, 2008)

I have learned so much about DP and DR from this site, I have a family member who suffers from DP and DR. she told me about it one day and I started researching everything I could get my hands on so I would understand but books only tell you the facts not the feelings about stuff like this. My doctor told me about this site it has helped someone she knows cope with her emotions and lets her talk to people who know exactly what she is dealing with. I have never encountered anyone who was mean here, I was welcomed here as a caring individual who just wanted to learn more so they could suport someone they love. I am very much an outsider here but I can say that everyone here is great!!


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