# Depersonalization.. a spiritual awakening



## Guest (Mar 14, 2010)

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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

All of this sounds very pretty and stuff, too bad that..



Ellatree said:


> You are becoming somewhat enlightened believe it or not.
> It is a realization that the world is an illusion and that you are beyond this material world. And beyond your body, mind, thougths... an ego-less state


.. the world isn't an illusion.


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## Guest (Mar 14, 2010)

ThisCantBeHappening said:


> All of this sounds very pretty and stuff, too bad that..
> 
> .. the world isn't an illusion.


I agree.

AND, this belongs in the spirituality section of this forum.

-Peace


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## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

spiritual awakening? I don't think so. Don't try to confuse people who have DP, it's hard enough to comprehend. It is in no way a good thing.


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2010)

ThisCantBeHappening said:


> All of this sounds very pretty and stuff, too bad that..
> 
> .. the world isn't an illusion.


Trust me. Soon enough.. you'll see what I mean. And I'm not trying to confuse you. I wouldn't waste my time.

Hope you enjoy this truth filled poem by Edgar Allen Poe
it's called

A Dream within a Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?


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## Guest (Mar 15, 2010)

Ellatree said:


> Trust me. Soon enough.. you'll see what I mean. And I'm not trying to confuse you. I wouldn't waste my time.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this truth filled poem by Edgar Allen Poe
> it's called
> ...


Just because the Nature of Reality is in constant change through SpaceTime does not make it an illusion.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Just because the Nature of Reality is in constant change through SpaceTime does not make it an illusion.


Agreed.


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## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

Thanx for the Edgar Allan Poe poem, that I like!


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

Ella,

I love your reasoning, and your point of view can be a way at which it can help in dealing with this thing.

I just differ in that this is the state the universe intended everyone to be in. Loss of ego is not being depersonalized. I see it as shedding away of all materialistic/greed/envy/hatred/ all negative emotions, and emotions of fear.

There are the main two emotions that exist in this world, love and fear. Loss of ego is the elimination of fear and the exuberance of all feelings of love.

I did experience this, when i healed from DP. Ive been DP'd my entire life, when I healed for two weeks i swear to god, it was this intense spiritual transformation. It was heaven on earth, because I loved every single breathing second I had, and I appreciated things for how they are in reality.

This is exciting, because once we all heal, we would be in a state where others only dream about, something they will never get to experience here on earth and we will.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I'd have to go ahead and disagree on this one... suffering can result in spiritual awakening but this is a whole different ball game. Wouldn't that just be daisies if we ended up all enlightened after this though.


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## Dptilldeath (Jul 27, 2007)

I believe it's a form of awakening. The word is a illusion as time is too. We are not our body or the self we used to feel we are. Our true self is spirit and not ego and the name we have. For some reason we have realize that but it's hard to acept it cause we are not exactly out of the body,just disconected from the mind in some state. This is what i believe.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Well if you ask me, being in this "spirit state" is pretty damn boring. I'd rather feel the illusion of ego and self and emotions and pleasure again.

Just a weird question...if what we perceive as reality is supposed to be an illusion, then can this illusion be an illusion as well? Therefore making it real? Like two negatives cancelling eachother out? Oh never mind.


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2010)

S O L A R I S said:


> Ella,
> 
> I love your reasoning, and your point of view can be a way at which it can help in dealing with this thing.
> 
> ...


Hello Solaris..

The two main emotions you say are Love and Fear.. that I agree. This is because we live in POLARITY consciousness. Also known as a dual consciousness. Like the night and the day. The masculine and the feminine. The good and that bad. The positive and the negative. These are all polarities. These are a constructs of the mind.. because the mind is a polarized tool. The higher realms.. ( 5d, 6d, 7d) are not dual. The EGO exists in the 3d and even up to the 4rth dimension. Depersonalization is an experience of higher dimensions. It is not a peaceful transition because we are moving to quickly from 3d (polarity).. even if just for a few seconds.. it's too fast all at once.

It is too quick of a burst into the higher realms. And all this while we are still in the body (3d reality) and none are prepared for this.. trust me it wont feel pretty. It's too quick of a transition/realization.

But it is something we are experiencing.. i feel i do know why.. but I don't feel comfortable speaking furthur as I feel maybe I will interfere with the path/evolution of others. And I know others don't agree with me already.. so no use.

But something I CAN say is that If people with DP read a little furthur on what the EGO is and WHAT the OVER-SOUL (who we really are beyond duality)is.. dp will be less scary. Because they will understand why they are experiencing DP.

Dp no longer affects me... because I understand WHO I AM and WHO I AM NOT.

I am certain that within the next few years many of you... or most of you will understand why you have been going through this. And it is not for you to suffer.

I really do say this from my heart whether you agree or not that is up to you.

-peace

oh and p.s. the EGO is fear. http://www.pharrah13.com/ego.html

and p.s.s... I am very glad that you healed. You lowered your vibration enough to be fully back in 3d. Maybe you were done with that experience. And if you are happy that I'm glad for you.

But one thing (and i don't say this in a mean way.. but just being honest).. ABOUT YOUR COMMENT... you said...

*'we would be in a state where others only dream about, something they will never get to experience here on earth and we will.'* this is an example of the EGO! If you were aware of our spirit connection to all beings and all life.. you would want all to experience bliss and not just a select few.


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2010)

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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

Maybe ego is not as black and white, either good or a bad thing. EGO is like food, we need it, but dont need it at high quantities. Maybe life is about balancing the ego. You can have a healthy ego, as well as an unhealthy one. Spirituality seems to dive too much into new age rhetoric made up by people who claim stuff. I want to see eckhart tole and deepak chopra go through DP and give me their opinions on the matter.

Life is about Joy and love. I dont know if DP, is the nirvana or heaven on earth that these "gurus" are talking about.


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2010)

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## Guest (Mar 17, 2010)

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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

lla,

Thanks for posting. I just want to say that I did not mean to attack you in anyway, sorry if it might have come across in that way.

You said something which caught my attention alot " But there is a REASON why we are going through it. And i deeply feel and know that it is for something VERY IMPORTANT." I totally agree with you on that. I think DP/Anxiety can be seen as a blessing of sorts, it is a path to discover life. I have been reading a web page which is very interesting. Ill post the link and text below

http://www.saneadvice.com/anxiety-a-portal-to-pure-enlightenment/

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Today I want to talk about the end-state of extreme anxiety. I truly believe, and have witnessed in my own life, that experiencing extreme anxiety is a portal to absolute freedom - at least it is meant to be. To truly find absolute freedom during your brief stay on planet earth in the now-here, you must have a portal - an open door - a way "in", so to speak. So today we are going to discuss how your so-called "negative" anxiety may be the most important gift of your life. I have another post which describes your anxiety as a gift, but today I want elaborate on this theme in completely different angle.
The Portal

There are 6-7 billions human beings on this planet right now, and everyone of us is here for the same reason - to find their portal. We are here in a physically manifested human body with the fortunate opportunity to transcend the very physical form we are co-mingling with. How each of us finds their own portal to freedom - aka, God, Heaven, Enlightenment, Nirvana, The Truth, is different. Not completely different, because there will be thousands who find the gateway and enter heaven on earth in a VERY similar way - such in our example of extreme anxiety. Thousands more will be faced with some kind of tangible "real" tragedy in the loss of physical form. This can be the loss of a loved one or family member due to a tragedy of some sort (although I know longer belief there are any tragedies, which I may explain later). It may be a loss of form in simple material items and/or wealth. If a human being decides that material wealth is everything to them and attaches themselves to their material wealth, and they lose it, it may be enough of a shock to their value system, that they will be guided to their portal to freedom - consciousness.

All it takes to find The Portal is to attach yourself to any kind of label, or form based "thing" hard enough, and it may lead to the beginning of awakening, and as The Buddha put it, The End of Suffering. Of course you can't see The Portal, or walk through The Portal with any kind of man made attachments. You can only enter The Portal naked. Naked of your mind, your ego, your physical attachments, your past, your future, or your Good Sam's Club membership card, and the wallet you keep it in. I'm not suggesting you literally sell or give away all your belongings. I'm suggesting you remove any attachment to "your things" and "your labels". Honor the things around you that you "own". Look after them, and enjoy them, but don't call them yours because they are not yours. Your things are simple made up of the different elements of the periodic table, and will someday be particles in some other thing(s) millions of years after your current flesh body has been recycled as well. As the child character Stewie from Family Guy says to his mother in one of the episodes, "Let if GOOOO Lois".

So if you have found yourself reading Saneadvice.com because you wanted to find some answers to your anxiety problems, or the anxiety problems of a family member, you may have accidentally stumbled on to something much bigger than curing anxiety and anxiety symptoms. You have stumbled across the beginning of the most important education of your life - in fact the only true education in your life.

As a sufferer of anxiety, and the ego-based fantasies of the collective human race, you have some very different choices to make. One; you find some sort of addiction to dwell in - such as alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, work, sports, entertainment, etc. etc., or Two: you stay stuck in your extremely unhappy rut and make all those around you unhappy in the process, or Three; you start your upward ascent to enlightenment while you are still in the flesh (all human beings are from pure light and will return to pure light - it's just that most in this current century will have to wait until their flesh dies before experiencing pure consciousness). Choice one and two are the most common because they are the easiest, and suit the ego's demands. Choice three requires a leap of faith, and involves a prolonged effort whereby the ego is denied.

This is why the more extreme humans find nirvana and enlightenment. The so-called "great sinners of earth" (using the true definition of sin; "being off track" and "out of connection with universal energy) often awaken before those with mild ego related diseases, because they can no longer suffer so intensely. They HAVE to make a change. They HAVE to either set themselves on the path to enlightenment or perish their flesh. For those who suffer from mind and ego domination just enough to make them constantly "grumpy" and "unsatisfied", but never completely reckless and lost, they may never find true and full awareness because their life is tolerable. They are aware of their true state of being JUST ENOUGH to live with some kind of sanity.

In some cases these extreme human beings wander from one extreme point of awareness and consciousness, where they are pure love manifested in flesh - helping hundreds, thousands, and millions of people on their way to enlightenment - and then make a sudden reversal into absolute ego (insanity) and cause great suffering and personal trauma for a great number of people. A perfect example of this would the Reverend Jim Jones, of the Guyana Mass Suicide/Murder incident in the 1970's where almost 1000 men, women, and children of all ages, races, and backgrounds ended their flesh experience on earth. This is still considered to be one of the greatest tragedies of the 1900's. You can see many examples of this in other humans beings in bigger and smaller forms. Fortunately, this is not your fate, and even more fortunately, the future of earth will see less and less humans fall deeply into the insanity of the 160% proof ego state (Hitler and his fellow Nazi leaders being prime examples of pure ego state).
You Are Not "Whatever You Put Your Mind To"

So the portal can be anything you have been putting "your mind to". The old affirmation that parents often give their children; "You can be anything you put your mind to", is as false as any statement. The truth is that you were born perfect and deep inside your inner body of pure light, you are still perfect. Your mind is just a tool, and usually a useless and harmful tool. If you work hard and focus on something that is divine, and is a result of you true essence, then the so-called positive outcome of "success", as looked upon by the collective human ego state will happen. But, if you put your mind to something that is not of your true essence, then it is doomed to "failure", as perceived by the collective human ego state. However, if your great and wonderful failure leads to intense anxiety and suffering, then you will be given the most important opportunity of your life - entrance through the portal to enlightenment. If you can see the paradox in these statements, then you can see the wondrous paradox of human existence.
When Extreme Anxiety "Takes You" The Portal Is Not In View, But It's There - It's Always There

When extreme anxiety takes takes you, it's simply your ego taking you, in the sense that your true self is being muted too much by the ego and mind state. You have fallen victim to the ego's need to have everything it wants, and everything in the order it wants it. This is a bitter pill to swallow for most people in depths of their anxiety swings.

When you are in the deepest throws of your anxiety state - when your mind is trying to be the boss of your moment(s), you are not going to see the portal, but it is indeed their right in front of you. Your ego and mind can only throw up a temporary cloud of smoke and fog in front of your portal. Your ego and mind can make such a mess of the ever sacred "now" that your portal will be completely blocked from view, and your ego will convince your mind that life is nothing but a foggy and smoky hell hole. The irony here is that when the ego and mind are subdued even in the slightest, your true essence sees the portal right front of it's face - even more accurately, the portal is inside of you and always has been. This metaphor of "the portal" is simply a way to try and explain the reality of your existence on earth.

What religions and believers always eventually lead to, is that we are going to enter some kind of kingdom of heaven, and they usually tell their flocks that they must die before they see their doctrine's version of nirvana. The truth is that ALL human beings will "enter the kingdom heaven" or "walk through the portal" when they die, but we don't HAVE to wait until we die. We can find enlightenment and enter now!

So when you are suffering from extreme anxiety, remember that it's just your mind and it's friend, the mind, throwing up fantasies and fallacies creating smoke and fog. It's all make believe, even if it's a tangible and so-called "real stress" in your life. The good news is you may soon be on your way to finding the portal.
When Your Anxiety Settles Down and The Smoke Has Cleared

When your anxiety and stress settles down, and the smoke has cleared, you have a choice. You can ramble and wander on in the same way you have your entire life until now - trapped and controlled by your mind and ego; or start reading, listening, and learning from the great teachers of our times, and past times.

You can choose to learn how your mind and ego work together to create suffering and madness in your life and others lives. You can choose to surrender to "The Way", and to the universe, and find out that you are a piece of the universe. You can learn how you to focus your energy on what is real, and stop judging the false as bad. The false is always a portal to truth. You can begin opening your mind an choosing never to let your ego and mind ever control an entire day, hour, or even one minute of your life. (the truth is that our egos and minds will always TRY to interject themselves).

You don't condemn you ego as mind as WRONG - you only witness your ego and mind with a loving glance and a wink. When you see your mind judging others and agreeing with your ego based fears, don't beat yourself up over it. Just watch and observe with a loving smile. Imagine your true self, which is pure love and kindliness, floating outside your body as a witness, watching your mind, body, and ego react to another ego, or circumstance. This entity you have imagined floating outside the situation is the REAL you. This is the essence of truth and love. Is eternal and forever. It judges no-one and nothing. It is pure consciousness, and it is "The Way".

So today start being a witness to yourself. Don't just see everything and everybody as separate from you. See yourself as a part of the entire make-up of mankind and human existence in this universe. If you start to have moments when you feel physically lighter, and moments of pure joy - well then you have tasted the sweetness of reality - you have tasted your destiny. You are walking to the portal.


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

Ellatree, thanks for your thoughts. I read Collisions With the Infinite, and it helped me to see some of the positive sides of my dp more, not to the point of wanting to stay in it, but in seeing it as more of a coping mechanism, possibly, and one that helps me to see that old ways of thinking that contributed to my dp definitely are tied to ego problems, and attachment and desire.

I don't really know if the world is an illusion or not, but I do know that my experiences with Buddhist-related practices, like meditation, have tended to decrease my dp symptoms, at least the numbness and anxiety, which makes me wonder. On the other hand, I might never have really tried to meditate if I hadn't gotten dp, so it has helped me that way.

Daphne Simeon and Jeff Abugel talk about Suzanne's book and experience in Feeling Unreal, and they did mention two things that have stuck with me: she recovered memories of abuse some time after getting depersonalized, and she did, if I remember right, turn out to have some neurological trouble. The first one kind of plays into the idea of dp as a way to get out of a reality that's overwhelming. I was briefly the victim of abuse at 6 or 7, and my own dp symptoms have mostly kicked in in relationship situations, especially after breakups. While the dp thoughts about the world being unreal may have helped me to seek spiritual help of different kinds, I think it's more the pain of being depersonalized. But maybe that pain is attachment and desire, in the Buddhist sense. Dunno







. Thanks again for your thoughts!


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## Guest (Mar 20, 2010)

Ellantree,
I also have to disagree, and this also belongs in the spiritual forum.

As I've said many, many times, this is a known illness. It is frequently confused with philosophical comments, lay people interpretations, spiritual awakening. The individual in "Collision With the Infinite" was not a happy person. She tried to understand her troubles in terms of the spiritual, but her experience was frightening. Also, I have no clue if this is relataed, but she died of a brain tumor.

If DP/DR are most commonly known to accompany panic attack, most mental illnesses, brain tumor, brain injury, migraine, stroke, epilepsy, etc. etc., etc. I know in my gut, this is a biological problem. I have studied Zen Buddhism, and have had DIalectical Therapy based on the Mindfulness emphasized in the work of Buddhists and particularly Thich Nhat Hahn. The experience of "becoming enlightened" has nothing to do with our experience, it has to do with a simpler concept of eliminating "clutter" from the mind, living in the present, focusing AWAY from negative thoughts and selfishness, etc.

I believe they have studied the minds of Monks who meditate, and have studied those with mental illnesses and those with DP/DR. The results are not the same.

This isn't to say many here have spiritual Faith which gives them great strenght. And I find Buddhist perspectives and my own version of relaxation and meditation BENEFICIAL, but I have been DP/DR for most of my life and I am 51. It started when I was @5, along with anxiety and depression. None of it has given me insight, joy, peace, etc.

This indeed is a fascinating topic, but DOES belong in the Religious Forum or religious debate.

Forgive spelling, I have laundry in the dryer, LOL.

Best,
D


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## Guest (Mar 24, 2010)

S O L A R I S said:


> lla,
> 
> Thanks for posting. I just want to say that I did not mean to attack you in anyway, sorry if it might have come across in that way.
> 
> ...


wow Solaris.. this is such a great article... Thank you so much for sharing. I feel it is very truth-filled


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## Guest (Mar 24, 2010)

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## Guest (Mar 24, 2010)

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## fieldsmatt31 (Dec 16, 2009)

sometimes it takes us to see what is false in order to see what is true. where there is suffering there is more potential for growth.


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## Unreal (Jul 12, 2010)

Honestly, it scares the shit outta me to think the world is an illusion.


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

Unreal said:


> Honestly, it scares the shit outta me to think the world is an illusion.


If I go and punch you in the face will that be an illusion? the world isnt an illusion, when people say the world is an illusion they just mean its in constant change not that it doesn't exist


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## jd99034 (Dec 2, 2008)

Ellatree, why are your posts blank?

Anyway, I'm glad you mentioned this topic, as I believe it to be correct. DP/DR is one of the main 'symptoms' of a spiritual awakening. Along with the whole "sparkle/snow vision" thing. There are however other things that can cause it. I have been researching/suffering with this for over 12 years, been on most every kind of drug at one point or another( I take nothing now), seen every kind of doctor, like most others here I'm sure.

One of the biggest things I learned was that one of the main physical causes of DP/DR is Lyme disease and it's co-infections, which I have, and have treated. Just google the words "lyme disease," "Depersonalization," and/or "Bartonella" together and you will get a plethora of information and medical proof that these almost incurable BACTERIAL INFECTIONS that infect the brain (and rest of the body)cause virtually every psychiatric/physical symptom you can think of. For more info on these infections(which are transmitted by any biting insect, as well as sex), check out personalconsult.com and look at the free articles on the site, or any other lyme disease forum. One of the main things that people with Lyme share is chronic depersonalization and anxiety/panic/depression symptoms. It's caused by a slight inflammation in the frontal lobe of the brain from an immune response due to a chronic infection. People often deal with it for years and unfortunately lifetimes before they find out what actually was causing it. A good video to learn about lyme disease and the massive cover up that is going on surrounding it is "Under Our Skin." Another one is "Under The Eightball." I have links at the bottom of this post. Please check them out, and I am in no way affiliated with either. I just know how horrible and hopeless this can feel and I think the majority of people here are looking for answers in the wrong place(the psychiatric field of western medicine) and with a closed mind, which leads me to my next thought... Spiritual awakening, because it is my experience and belief that you won't get past this with a closed mind. You can become obsessed and dive into the DSM books and learn about all kinds of mental illnesses, take all kinds of drugs, spend countless amounts of money of doctors only to get worse, but the best thing you can do is learn more. Look elsewhere.

The great thing about the internet is the vast amount of free information.(Obviously not everything online is completely reliable), but you can communicate with a ton of people and learn through their experiences. I don't know about you but I'm not gonna put all my faith in some doctor who doesn't really know anything except what he's taught by drug companies. You don't have to waste your money on doctors or drugs or bullshit fake cures and programs. Just research as much as you can, and do what works for you.

Maybe DP is a blessing! Maybe we SHOULD be questioning if we and the world are real! What would you do if this was indeed the case? Have fun perhaps? Maybe we ARE dreaming! I mean come on! WTF! DO you think this is all there is?! Maybe life is the dream, and death is the awakening. There are numerous accounts of near-death-experiences that are documented in books, written by doctors, where the patients commonly refer to their experience of life after death as the most "lucid" they have ever felt. This could be the painful wake-up call a large number of us need. I read the reply by 'Dreamer' that "this is a known disease," and none of it gave her "insight or joy." Personally for me, DP/DR has been the catalyst in my own spiritual awakening. searching for answers, being open, and synchronicity have gotten me very far from where I was 10 years ago, which was basically suicidal. For all of you who don't believe you have a spirit, or think this is all there is, then I must argue that you are wrong. Perhaps I won't argue. I will admit you don't have a spirit. You ARE a spirit, and your physical body is not actually "real." In fact, it is somewhat of an illusion. This is a proven fact. Thank god for Einstein. He proved that all matter is actually really energy condensed into a slower vibration. Everything is frequency. Light, sound, matter, just vibrating at different speeds. He proved time was basically an illusion that we create with our minds. So for example, if you look at the atoms under a microscope of a piece of wood, water, or your body, they are mostly filled with empty space. It has to do with frequencies and vibrations and if you don't learn about this stuff I don't think you have any chance of getting rid of this problem. Look into quantum mechanics. Look at the work of Timothy Freke. Look into the holographic universe theory. Look into consciousness work. Be here now. Just open your minds and don't put all your eggs in one basket. You might have to accept that something you once thought was true, wasn't actually true. You might find you've been lied to. You might wake up from your dream. You will get better.

Good luck to all of you on your journeys and don't ever give up.

http://www.undertheeightball.com
http://www.underourskin.com
http://www.timothyfreke.com


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

I think the drive to understand and question yourself and the world is a very healthy one, but its the way people with dp go about it which makes it unhealthy and neurotic as they go about it analytically only trusting in their thinking mind, while I believe the healthy course to take is to develop your feeling sensation which ultimately involves stilling or dropping the thinking analytical mind so you perceive the world more directly with less filters. So DP in my opinion stems from a natural healthy drive but is distorted into illness


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## willbarwa (Aug 26, 2017)

PositiveThinking! said:


> All of this sounds very pretty and stuff, too bad that..
> 
> .. the world isn't an illusion.


Actually, science will even tell you it is and there is plenty of sources and data that back this up.


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