# Fear of death



## Guest

I haven't entirely gotten over every little thing that makes me anxious. I am still petrified of death.
I know fearing death will not get me anywhere, but I need to vent. I have said in my head that I can't STAND the thought of not existing. I can't understand it, and I can't stand it. Life itself is confusing therefore death is confusing. Why why why, I ask myself. It's not productive or nice, but I keep envisioning a corpse and thinking "That'll be me one day". I can't seem to accept that. I don't want there to be nothing.

And although I reconnected with God again, that old atheist view in me says "don't fool yourself - you're going to end one day and that's it."

This is so hard to bear.
I know it's a fruitless exercise. But I just can't help but dwell on how tragic it is.
Of course, I make way for others to be born. That's good. I am not there to take up more space and resources. That's good. But I wish so much to join a happy place in spirit after death with all my loved ones and God.

It's all just so baffling. I wish I could just not think about it so much. It is my only fear now, really. But it's that one that seems to want to stick. Agoraphobia can be easily overcome, death can never be overcome.

I would love for those with a healthy view of death to come here and give me some support/ideas. Because I guess all that we think will happen afterwards is an idea, and I want one to believe.

I almost think that when I was a child I had a brilliant view. I can remember it vividly. This is what I thought, in my innocence:

"Life is so complex and magnificent, that there surely is a complex and magnificent reason for why we are here - it has to have begun somewhere therefore it has to have been created. And that personality and energy when we die has to go somewhere, therefore the soul does exist. And the place it goes is where we go when we die."

I think that was pretty wise for me at a young age, but I know that children can sometimes say the wisest, simplest and most profound things.

I still try to hold onto that view, but it's hard. Since becoming an adult, that viewpoint that I remember being so OBVIOUS at the time is not so obvious now.

How do you feel about death? What are your thoughts?


----------



## Bjorn

Hey lionheart Ive been where you are.. and it never happens  x


----------



## JackDanielß

I don't think people fear death. Most people don't believe in death, because they don't experience death.

I agree 100% with Freud on this one

Sigmund Freud hypothesized that people express a fear of death, called thanatophobia. He saw this as a disguise for a deeper source of concern. It was not actually death that people feared, because nobody believes in his or her own death. The unconscious does not deal with the passage of time or with negations, which does not calculate amount of time left in one's life. Furthermore, that which one does fear cannot be death itself, because one has never died. People who express death-related fears, actually are trying to deal with unresolved childhood conflicts that they cannot bring themselves to come to terms with and to display and show emotion relating to the conflict

Also

Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.









Wittgenstein, Ludwig


----------



## Surfingisfun001

I look forward to death


----------



## Guest

JackDanielß said:


> I don't think people fear death. Most people don't believe in death, because they don't experience death.
> I agree 100% with Freud on this one
> 
> Sigmund Freud hypothesized that people express a fear of [/size]death, called [/size]thanatophobia. He saw this as a disguise for a deeper source of concern. It was not actually death that people feared, because nobody believes in his or her own death. The unconscious does not deal with the passage of time or with negations, which does not calculate amount of time left in one's life. Furthermore, that which one does fear cannot be death itself, because one has never died. People who express death-related fears, actually are trying to deal with unresolved childhood conflicts that they cannot bring themselves to come to terms with and to display and show emotion relating to the conflict[/size]
> 
> Also
> 
> Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Wittgenstein, Ludwig


Okay.. Interesting... So... Sorry for being simple-minded here but I don't understand the not believing in death part - we all die so isn't death a "thing" that happens, therefore it is real and true? I suppose it's not death itself that I'm scared of but the chance of their being nothing after.

I want to understand what you mean, but I don't. I will re-read it a few times but at the moment I don't get it.


----------



## Guest

Fearless said:


> Do you really fear death, or you have uncontrollable obsessive thoughts about death which scare the shit out of you?


Erm, can I have both? Obviously having the thoughts about fearing death shows me that I fear death right?


----------



## Guest

Bjorn said:


> Hey lionheart Ive been where you are.. and it never happens  x


Yeah but my issue is is that it one day will... I just want to beat this inevitability. I want to work my way around death so that it doesn't happen! Lol. I know.... stupid.

I guess when I am old and wrinkly I might be sick of living so that'd be okay


----------



## JackDanielß

Susto said:


> occupy your mind with something productive and you will forget about death


And when you run out of productive things..?


----------



## JackDanielß

I mean that by the time you are dead, you won't be conscious to know it. Just like you weren't before you born. It's a hard thing to comprehend, but you can always believe in afterlife.

However no healthy people fear death as much as DP/tense people do, there is always something behind that fear.

Trust me when I say this, you don't really fear death.

I think when most people fear death, they fear being alone. Like they were in some sort of black abyss alone for eternity.


----------



## JackDanielß

What is the solution to the first with a reason? How do old people deal with the fact they they will die soon, natural acceptance?


----------



## Guest

JackDanielß said:


> I mean that by the time you are dead, you won't be conscious to know it. Just like you weren't before you born. It's a hard thing to comprehend, but you can always believe in afterlife.
> However no healthy people fear death as much as DP/tense people do, there is always something behind that fear.
> Trust me when I say this, you don't really fear death.
> 
> I think when most people fear death, they fear being alone. Like they were in some sort of black abyss alone for eternity.


Mhmm I agree with that. We can't remember and there was no consciousness before we were born, so it would be the same with death. That makes sense, and if that be the case then no you wouldn't be alone in a black abyss or anything like that. Thanks for your perspective.


----------



## Guest

Fearless said:


> "occupy your mind with something" is exactly what brings people into DP in the first place.
> 
> you should face your fears and feelings, and not "occupy your mind". that is how you build tension up, by running away.


I think you can occupy your mind and face your fears, by simply doing, regardless of whether you are anxious or not. But with death fears you can't do them and occupying your mind with other things would be avoiding your fear, so that's what I'm trying to do now. Face the subject.



Fearless said:


> NO. Absolutely not.
> 
> You either fear death, because you have a reason to fear it, like being old, being ill, etc.. or you have an obsessive thinking pattern which's current object is death.
> 
> *The 2 are completely different states, with completely different reasons and solutions.*


Ah yeah, I get it. Then it's definitely the obsessive thinking. I'm not ill or dying. I have no current reason to fear it.


----------



## Guest

Fearless said:


> Also, these disturbing thoughts are always an implication of an extreme low level of emotional intelligence. I would look up emotional reasoning.


I disagree, because I can handle emotions well. I think they're an implication of my fight/flight response creating a threat that isn't applicable to the current situation.


----------



## Guest

Susto said:


> ¬¬
> tell a DP person that she has to face fears, and she will get 0% of it.
> Occupy your mind with something productive, like educating yourself about DP, what causes it, how you brought yourself into it, etc... then you begin to understand what "facing fears" really means


I don't get DP anymore - I've already done a lot of the facing. I post here still because it comes under the mental health category and it's the forum I use the most.


----------



## daydreambeliever

All I have to do is go outside and look around. So many living things, so many dead things. I am just a part of it. Whatever happens to the living will also happen to me. I trust it. I'm proud to be one of the living. I don't believe in god but I do believe there is more to me than just this experience.

Perhaps we are here to learn to be individuals. I mean it's really cool if you think about it. Without this experience there would be no me and you, without language that I have learned in this life I wouldn't be able to talk to you, or even myself. I am learning to see, feel, smell, taste, and communicate. This seems much better than being some part of some nebulas One. Sometimes I think the animals know this and that's why they just be themselves. They're learning too. I hate to think all these hard lessons and agonies are for nothing but perhaps so. I'll never know if that's the case.

I too had many existential thoughts and lots of angst. I went through it. Took a couple of years but it went away and it never came back. Now I know I am indulging in bs when I go there again, and can stop it instantly. You are not alone. We all die, all that lives, not just humans, it's natural. Sometimes I feel like I am already dead floating on air. I like to float on lakes and rivers and lie in bed and float on music. There are so many dead already. I feel like I'm with them. Life has been so strange and hard, death seems tragic and unfair. I used to fear the pain involved but after almost dying a couple of times I realized the pain quickly ends. The body knows when to give up and death looks a lot worse than it feels. So it will be our last adventure.

Don't know if that helps lol! But I do advise going ahead and looking in on it, getting comfortable as you can, and letting it be. There is no avoiding it. It sure feels good to not be so concerned as I once was, and for me that meant not running away, but embracing being one the many who are alive, and have to die. I feel grateful and brave to one of the many and that helps me. We are all brave, just a human animal.


----------



## Guest

Fearless said:


> geeeeeeeeeez. post of the month.


...


----------



## Guest

daydreambeliever said:


> All I have to do is go outside and look around. So many living things, so many dead things. I am just a part of it. Whatever happens to the living will also happen to me. I trust it. I'm proud to be one of the living. I don't believe in god but I do believe there is more to me than just this experience. Perhaps we are here to learn to be individuals. I mean it's really cool if you think about it. Without this experience there would be no me and you, without language that I have learned in this life I wouldn't be able to talk to you, or even myself. I am learning to see, feel, smell, taste, and communicate. This seems much better than being some part of some nebulas One. Sometimes I think the animals know this and that's why they just be themselves. They're learning too. I hate to think all these hard lessons and agonies are for nothing but perhaps so. I'll never know if that's the case. I too had many existential thoughts and lots of angst. I went through it. Took a couple of years but it went away and it never came back. Now I know I am indulging in bs when I go there again, and can stop it instantly. You are not alone. We all die, all that lives, not just humans, it's natural. Sometimes I feel like I am already dead floating on air. I like to float on lakes and rivers and lie in bed and float on music. There are so many dead already. I feel like I'm with them. Life has been so strange and hard, death seems tragic and unfair. I used to fear the pain involved but after almost dying a couple of times I realized the pain quickly ends. The body knows when to give up and death looks a lot worse than it feels. So it will be our last adventure. Don't know if that helps lol! But I do advise going ahead and looking in on it, getting comfortable as you can, and letting it be. There is no avoiding it. It sure feels good to not be so concerned as I once was, and for me that meant not running away, but embracing being one the many who are alive, and have to die. I feel grateful and brave to one of the many and that helps me. We are all brave, just a human animal.


This is great, thanks! I like your view of things. This is the thing, I do want to face this subject or I'm sure I will simply always fear it, and I don't want that. Much better to get through things now rather than live with a little nagging feeling in the back of my head. 
I agree that we are brave to be here, and that it is a wonderful thing that we are existing. I do love existing, I can't deny that! And that by chance or whatever I was the one chosen to enter the world when I did - it's amazing and I am really thankful for it.

So yeah, a few posts in this thread have given me some things to chew over, and I think in not to long I should start accepting death. I am fully open to accepting because I want to accept. So I think I'm half there.

Glad you're still here, by the way.


----------



## daydreambeliever

Fearless said:


> no. we're not all brave. it may sound nice, but it's not true.


Living demands a certain amount of bravery, that's all.


----------



## daydreambeliever

L i o n H e ❥ r t said:


> This is great, thanks! I like your view of things. This is the thing, I do want to face this subject or I'm sure I will simply always fear it, and I don't want that. Much better to get through things now rather than live with a little nagging feeling in the back of my head.
> I agree that we are brave to be here, and that it is a wonderful thing that we are existing. I do love existing, I can't deny that! And that by chance or whatever I was the one chosen to enter the world when I did - it's amazing and I am really thankful for it.
> 
> So yeah, a few posts in this thread have given me some things to chew over, and I think in not to long I should start accepting death. I am fully open to accepting because I want to accept. So I think I'm half there.
> 
> Glad you're still here, by the way.





L i o n H e ❥ r t said:


> This is great, thanks! I like your view of things. This is the thing, I do want to face this subject or I'm sure I will simply always fear it, and I don't want that. Much better to get through things now rather than live with a little nagging feeling in the back of my head.
> I agree that we are brave to be here, and that it is a wonderful thing that we are existing. I do love existing, I can't deny that! And that by chance or whatever I was the one chosen to enter the world when I did - it's amazing and I am really thankful for it.
> 
> So yeah, a few posts in this thread have given me some things to chew over, and I think in not to long I should start accepting death. I am fully open to accepting because I want to accept. So I think I'm half there.
> 
> Glad you're still here, by the way.


Thank You! Seriously thanks, cause sometimes I feel 'way out there!' (dpd lol) You will go through to the other side and then how freeing it is!


----------



## daydreambeliever

daydreambeliever said:


> Thank You! Seriously thanks, cause sometimes I feel 'way out there!' (dpd lol) You will go through to the other side and then how freeing it is!


Go through your feelings I mean.


----------



## daydreambeliever

Fearless said:


> pfff desperate effort dont you think?


Not really. Like it or not, we're all in this together (every living thing). None of us will get out alive. But if you like to call some cowards, I'm sure there are plenty that fits. Peace out dude.


----------



## Guest

I DON'T FEAR DEATH. IF I FEAR ANYTHING IT IS SUFFERING.​


----------



## forestx5

life is over rated. there are things in life which are worse than death. pain, suffering, fear being a few. But I do sympathize with you. As a neurotic kid, i also worried incessantly about existential issues. Give yourself 50 years of life, and you will begin to appreciate death as the escape it was intended to be. Fear of death is fear of a life not lived. Live your life. Spend it like a pocket full of coins. When it is gone, you will be at peace with death.


----------



## hurricane12

Only advice I can give is to not worry about things you have no control over. That one piece of advice has carried me for many years I hope it helps. If you can't do nothing about It worrying wont help find things you enjoy and live for them.


----------



## Guest

Haha, thanks spammer, for resurrecting this post xD Seems crazy to see how far I've come since then.


----------



## andymark25415

i scare when i thought about death but its fact one day i will died


----------



## FelipeFags

Промышленный портал - Запчасти для фрезерных станков, 6Р82,6Р12,ВМ127. возможно нужно вам. А также Литейное оборудование.


----------



## Troglodyte

Death doesn't seem to bother me.


----------



## Troglodyte

FelipeFags said:


> Промышленный портал - Запчасти для фрезерных станков, 6Р82,6Р12,ВМ127. возможно нужно вам. А также Литейное оборудование.


Wut?


----------

