# Dropping out of high school



## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm in my junior year of high school, and I just can't take it anymore. I used to have really good grades, like A's and B's, before this Dp, Now I'm strugglin to keep a D.. Everyone feels bad for me, and I hate that, but if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't of been able to make this far. I've have Dp for like 4 months now, along with insanely bad insomnia. On average, I get about 2 hours of sleep a night, If that. I get stuck in this like half asleep half awake state, and it's been goin on for about 6 months, I just can't get into a deep sleep. Anyway, the thought of school just freaks me the fuck out. I can't do it anymore, I'm just holding everyone back. Everyone of my classes, we hardly do anything because teachers feel bad for me because I can't do any of the work. I'm in like a few honor classes too, so I'm holding back like mad smart people. Along with holding them back, I make every class extremely awkward. I used to be really talkative and fun kid, but I don't talk to anyone anymore. I just feel like i can't, like I can't think of anything to say or something. I've missed about 15 days of school so far, and I don't know what to do next. My parents are like freaking out, and I understand why they are, but Its making my Dp a lot worse. I can't deal with anything right now... I was a varsity starter on my lacrosse team, but I had to quit because of this. I guess i was hoping if someone can give me some suggestions or advice. i'm in a really bad place right now, and anything would help. I don't know if I should just drop out, even though there's only 2 months left of school, I just can't make it through another day... Do you think I should just keep trying, and basically max out my absences? I hear there's some people with like 40 absences who still go to school. I didn't mean to sound cocky with any of the things I said, I'm just trying to explain a little bit about my self. My biggest fear is dropping out, but it's no where near as big of a fear as this DP. I'm hoping that if I drop out, all my anxiety will be lifted, and my dp will too. Then I can get my Ged and move on to college, and never look back at this. Has anyone else been in the same boat as me? I can't explain the way I'm feeling to anyone, so explaining this to my guidance consoulers is ganna be really hard. I can hardly explain my symptoms without people thinking i'm crazy. Please help.... Thanks


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## Apathy (Jan 26, 2013)

I've dropped out temporarily cause I thought it would decrease anxiety. But it doesn't, it's just avoidance. Avoidance>More anxiety when confronted with things you avoid (people, school, uncomfortable situations) > Continue the cycle of DP. Trust me school is atleast something to do, personally I have trouble initiating conversation with my friends sometimes, my grades are still good but my math grades have declined significantly.


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

If I keep going, the schools gonna make me get a tutor, and If that doesn't help then they're gonna send me to a hospital. I know for a fact a tutor won't help, and it will just cause me more anxiety, and probably make me depressed considering I can't do any work. I don't think I really have any other options other than dropping out. I'm gonna try my best to keep pluggin, hoping that i'll snap out of it sometime soon. I can't really describe to anyone how terrible this is, ahhh... I just want this shit to go away. Everyone in my school knows there's something wrong with me, and i just can't keep facing these kids everyday. My friends are trying there best to be there for me, but they don't know what to do anymore. I'm exhausted to the point where the only thing I do is watch tv or go on my laptop, and I really don't want to do either of those things... Has anyone ever been in the same situation as i'm in? if so, how'd you get out?


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## Guest (Apr 3, 2013)

Andy,

Sorry you're going through this. I graduated high school in the late 1970s, went to Uni in the 1980s, but under horrible duress.

What is excellent is that you have support -- your teachers, your friends. And don't feel guilty about that. Are you seeing a psychiatrist/therapist, anyone? Trying an anti-anxiety med could just get you calmed down enough. Just a thought. This helped me in my late 20s. Wish I'd had the same med 15 years before that!

It might not be a bad idea to get a tutor. But no one can force you to go to a hospital. Yet, if you can have a short visit in a decent hospital, you can "reboot." You could feel a sense of safety.

I agree with some here who say the more you avoid something, the more difficult it is to get back into it. But I had to leave one year of University because of anxiety, depression and DP. I ended up with my BA and an MA.

When people ask me, "How did you accomplish this, or that?" I honestly can't answer. For me it was sheer desperation to get away from my crazy mother. Moved across the country with my degree, etc. But if I had had early intervention ... even back in childhood ... I think I'd be functioning far better than I am.

Take advantage of every support system you've got. Don't blame yourself. You are young. I SO wish I had someone to even talk to about my problems as far back as third grade, or even earlier!

We are all unique. Do what you feel is best for YOU. Don't worry about what other people think.

Take Care,

D


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

Thanks a lot D for pickin me up. Its been a while since I've felt remotely normal, so I'm losing quite a bit of hope. I have seen a therapist, two psychologists, a psychiatrist, and a couple other doctors. I'm not seeing any of them regularly tho. I do see a school Psychologist once a week, but I don't really like seeing her when I'm like this. I've been on a number of different medications, and none of them seem to do the trick. I'm gonna keep pushin and tryin my best, and i'll let you guys know if anything gets better/changes.


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## Keerti (Apr 5, 2013)

Hi -

I can definitely relate to you - I'm actually also a junior in high school and have had DP/DR for 1.5 years, so I completely understand what you're going through. My advice is that you should keep trying. Don't give up; it will take time, but you can make it through this. Try your best to stay focused on schoolwork (I know it can be very hard :sad, because remember that when you finally do overcome DP/DR, all the work you're doing now will pay off, and you'll be happy about that. If you think getting your GED now will help you, then try that - your health is the most important. Do whatever you need to to help yourself. If you're worried about the absence thing, maybe you could check to see what the absence 'quota' for your school is. If you're able to figure this out, then you can plan accordingly and save your absences for the especially bad days. Also, don't feel bad about your grades/school work. (If it makes you feel better, I got pretty much all D's and C's last year because of dp/dr.)

It seems like school is a major cause of your anxiety. If you're having trouble keeping up with schoolwork, make a study schedule, meet with your teachers for help, get sleep, and even get a tutor, if you think that will help. But don't stress out over school - do the best you can, and try to stay involved.

*EDIT: One option: if school really stresses you out, look into *online schools *for senior year. Someone I know has mental health disorders, and she attends a fully accredited online school. It's the same as actual school - you still go to a good college and everything! (She got accepted into a bunch of colleges, so don't worry about that.) It seems like online school could be a good option for you, so I suggest you look into that - maybe it will help ease your anxiety.*

If you need help with your insomnia, maybe you could try a sleep supplement. I use Valerian Root which seems to help get me to sleep. I also listen to relaxing music on my iPod while I sleep - maybe you could try that. And, stay away from caffeine during nighttime! Sleep deprivation tends to exacerbate DR/DP, so getting enough sleep is crucial. You could also try yoga or meditation to calm yourself. Yoga can help a lot with relaxing your thoughts and distracting you from my anxiety.

Stay involved as best you can with the things you like - maybe you could try rejoining lacrosse and see if that helps you? Or find another passion to immerse yourself in. Keep a journal to express your thoughts. Read to keep your mind distracted. Try to stay as active as possible so you're not always dwelling over your thoughts. Keep yourself busy!

Good luck to you! I'm sure that one day you will be able to overcome this terrible feeling. Stay strong; you will get through this. Sorry if I couldn't be of much help, but if you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me anytime!!


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## Quote (Nov 8, 2012)

Hey, so I'm not totally sure about which year junior refers to, but from a quick google search I'll assume third year.

If so, then I can relate, as I too am in grade 11.

More important though, I've had dp for the last 3 years, started around the start of high school. or at least, it started to really show itself at that point. In any case, I'll just give you my 2 cents here.

So the past 3 year for me have been hell, and I took a rather different approach to my situation then you did. I still have yet to even tell my family about it, and save for a few people I felt I could trust, I haven't told anyone else either (unless you count doctors, of which I've told 2-3). Anywho, I too have had similar results when it comes to achedemic preformence. In grade 9, I was regarded as really smart. People had this impression of me that they kept for a long time. I got above 90% most of the time and was only happy with >=95%. However, as a result of dp, my grades have gone done by around 20%.

School for me is awful. I absolutely hate being there every second, but I go every day. I have one or two people I feel I can talk to, as I've lost most of my friends by now.

I feel quite often that dropping out would be nice, but the truth is getting away from school won't fix your problems. In fact, you're quite lucky to have people in school that care about you and want to help. School may feel awful (I say may, but I know it does), but when you're there, at least you're around people. If you try and get away, then you'll just find yourself alone with your problems. Thing about dp is, you can't ever run away from it. Unless you confront it, and deal with it, it'll always be with you. I'm telling you as someone who doesn't even remember what it's like to be okay, to be happy, to feel anything at all anymore.

I know it's hard to be around those people, but being alone is worse. You may feel it's better for other people to not have to deal with you, that if you leave, they won't have to feel sad for you, but it's not. They won't stop being worried, and feeling sad just because they don't see you every day.

It's really tough to let people help you when you have dp. I mean, I spent 2.5 years with this horror before I talked to a doctor. Before I got help (and I still have yet to feel any better at this point). But you have to let people in sometimes. You have to let them help you, even if you don't think they can.

It may seem like there's nothing they can do to help, but just being there does. Dp hurts so much more when you're alone, trust me on that one.

I don't know if any of that will help, but if you only take one thing away from that, let it be this:

Take a step back, and remember that there are people who want to help you. It's only been 4 months as you say, so you need to realize that this isn't the end. It takes time to fix something like this, so don't give up just yet. If I'm still around at this point, after all the shit I've been through (will talk about that when I eventually make an intro post), then you shouldn't give up.

Alright, well if you need to talk about anything, I suppose I'm around, as are likely most people on here.

*goes back to postponing introduction to the community*


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## EternalCondition (Apr 9, 2013)

I know what it's like dude. Straight A's until my Senior year (which is now). Don't feel like doing crap, and in addition my attendance is absolutely atrocious! I miss school more than I actually attend it. I'm really hoping I just make graduation by the skin of my teeth, but I know what you're going through. Unable to sleep, for we seek perpetual consciousness.

In fact, I haven't been to school yesterday or today...

But definitely tomorrow! xp

As for school, make them accommodate you and don't EVER feel ashamed of your condition.

I'm here if you need help man, in this mostly inactive forum, so stay sane and move through it

Phil


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

`



Keerti said:


> Hi -
> 
> I can definitely relate to you - I'm actually also a junior in high school and have had DP/DR for 1.5 years, so I completely understand what you're going through. My advice is that you should keep trying. Don't give up; it will take time, but you can make it through this. Try your best to stay focused on schoolwork (I know it can be very hard :sad, because remember that when you finally do overcome DP/DR, all the work you're doing now will pay off, and you'll be happy about that. If you think getting your GED now will help you, then try that - your health is the most important. Do whatever you need to to help yourself. If you're worried about the absence thing, maybe you could check to see what the absence 'quota' for your school is. If you're able to figure this out, then you can plan accordingly and save your absences for the especially bad days. Also, don't feel bad about your grades/school work. (If it makes you feel better, I got pretty much all D's and C's last year because of dp/dr.)
> 
> ...





Quote said:


> Hey, so I'm not totally sure about which year junior refers to, but from a quick google search I'll assume third year.
> 
> If so, then I can relate, as I too am in grade 11.
> 
> ...


This is for both of you guys because i'm too tired to write to both of you separately, sorry

I actually came to the conclusion that I've had Dp for about 7 months. The first 3 months of it, I felt pretty weird, but I only thought this was because I wasn't sleeping. A couple weeks ago, I realized that I was sleeping somewhat okay, but it was just a Dp symptom that was making me feel like i wasn't sleeping. I would get these crazy vivid dreams(still do) and i tricked my self into thinking they were just deep, visual thoughts. I couldn't really explain it to anyone, which was the worst part of all of it. Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that i've been suffering from severe dp/dr for the past 7 months, and there hasn't been a day of school that i could take anything good out of. Everyday is pure hell, I try to pretty much hide from everyone, and be as far away from people as possible. I've tried to stay with my friends for a few months straight, and I just couldn't take the uncomfortable feelings, and anxiety. (I'm past the point of confronting my fears, because i have it so bad, where i can nearly leave my house anymore) And I was constantly making it awkward for my friends(still am) whenever I was around, because they feel the need to help me, and when they try to, I have no clue what to say back. Having conversations is near impossible. Sorry if i'm all over the place... So I honestly can't keep pushing anymore, because I've been trying so hard for the past 7 months, and i realize i only have 2 months left of school, but I just can't hold my friends and classmates back anymore.

As far as online schooling goes, I wish i could do it now. I have a friend who suggested that to me a while ago, and that's all i've been thinking about ever since she suggested it. I came to the conclusion that I can't go to school anymore, because the past two weeks, i've only went to school 3 times, and i'm worse than i was then. So high school isn't an option anymore, so hopefully my school can either offer me homeschooling, or online homeschooling, and if they can't i feel like i'm ganna have to drop out. Don't worry if I drop out though, because i'm a very smart kid. The second i snap out of this Dp, i'm ganna go straight to the books, and get my GED and then go to college. It might be a lot harder, but i feel like i'll be able to accomplish anything once this Dp is gone. Wish me luck guys, and I'll post something on this board when I know exactly what i'll be doing. Thank you for all your help!


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

dp doesnt lower your iq. "In this study, 21 DPD and 17 healthy comparison participants free of psychiatric disorders were administered a comprehensive neuropsychologic battery. The groups did not differ in full-scale, verbal, and performance IQ (Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale), in working memory (Paced Auditory Serial Addition Test), or in selective attention (Digit Span with Distracters)."

i know its extremely hard at first with dp i got it during my senior year of high school. almost didnt graduate but i did somehow. i had problems with sleeping and feeling half asleep like you but ive gotten over that cause of time. but anyway you cant drop out of high school cause of dp. graduating high school is a must have experience in life even if u experience it while dpd. if u drop out cause of dp then that makes dp seem worse dont change your life for it.


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## sb87 (Apr 16, 2013)

Do not drop out. Staying busy is very important. I've had it for 4 months now, but last year I had it for 3 days but i had an extremely demanding job and I snapped out of it after 3 days because my brain was constantly busy and i didn't have time to think about it. I experienced DP and DR also when I was in high school (i'm 26 now) after a near death experience, and i woke up the next day feeling weird, but being in school kept me busy.

I know it is hard my friend, but stick it out PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. My heart aches as I read your post, because NO ONE deserves to go through this. What helped me a lot in the beginning was writing down all my thoughts, every single nonsense that you thought of, i mean every single nonsense that you question, then erase/throw it away. I used the notepad on my phone and I would type and type and type and type, and a few days later, things that were bothering me no longer do.

It's like with dp/dr, everything seem to bother you and you don't know why, so you have to become used to life again. for example one day i was questioning the purpose of the sun, but now it's totally normal to me, and it felt like i would NEVER get used to the sun again.

PLEASE WRITE DOWN/TYPE EVERYTHINGN YOU THINK, then toss it. A friend told me that by doing that you empty your mind of the thoughts, because these thoughts want to come out, then you don't keep them, it really help, because i really can't remember what was bothering me 2 months ago and it was craaaaazy bad.


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## gasspanicc (Mar 21, 2012)

just finish high school the best you fckin can and then, if you need just take some time off to recooperate. i mean you have two months coming up to get a hold of your nickers, hang in there. i would advise to dedicating that time to healing work. 



, start mindfulness, see a doctor or psycholgist or someone. but one thing you must do first, and once you do this it will be a lot easier. DONT FUCKING RUMINATE! gl


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## EternalCondition (Apr 9, 2013)

sb87 said:


> Do not drop out. Staying busy is very important. I've had it for 4 months now, but last year I had it for 3 days but i had an extremely demanding job and I snapped out of it after 3 days because my brain was constantly busy and i didn't have time to think about it. I experienced DP and DR also when I was in high school (i'm 26 now) after a near death experience, and i woke up the next day feeling weird, but being in school kept me busy.
> I know it is hard my friend, but stick it out PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. My heart aches as I read your post, because NO ONE deserves to go through this. What helped me a lot in the beginning was writing down all my thoughts, every single nonsense that you thought of, i mean every single nonsense that you question, then erase/throw it away. I used the notepad on my phone and I would type and type and type and type, and a few days later, things that were bothering me no longer do.
> It's like with dp/dr, everything seem to bother you and you don't know why, so you have to become used to life again. for example one day i was questioning the purpose of the sun, but now it's totally normal to me, and it felt like i would NEVER get used to the sun again.
> PLEASE WRITE DOWN/TYPE EVERYTHINGN YOU THINK, then toss it. A friend told me that by doing that you empty your mind of the thoughts, because these thoughts want to come out, then you don't keep them, it really help, because i really can't remember what was bothering me 2 months ago and it was craaaaazy bad.


Yes! I had my phone that whole way and I typed all the crazy stuff I was thinking about, helped immensely in getting those thoughts out of my head. I do still have them though, for reflection


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

I just wrote out a pretty long reply, but it got deleted by accident. I don't have the effort and time to respond to these at the moment, but I will try to respond within the week. Thanks everyone!


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

sb87 said:


> Do not drop out. Staying busy is very important. I've had it for 4 months now, but last year I had it for 3 days but i had an extremely demanding job and I snapped out of it after 3 days because my brain was constantly busy and i didn't have time to think about it. I experienced DP and DR also when I was in high school (i'm 26 now) after a near death experience, and i woke up the next day feeling weird, but being in school kept me busy.
> 
> I know it is hard my friend, but stick it out PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. My heart aches as I read your post, because NO ONE deserves to go through this. What helped me a lot in the beginning was writing down all my thoughts, every single nonsense that you thought of, i mean every single nonsense that you question, then erase/throw it away. I used the notepad on my phone and I would type and type and type and type, and a few days later, things that were bothering me no longer do.
> 
> ...


I've been trying so hard to stay busy, and to keep pushing for the past 7 months. You have no clue how tough this is for me to do. Everyday of school is hell, and i basically have to hide from everyone throughout each day. I just can't suffer anymore(even though i'm suffering no matter what) through each day. My only option is seriously to drop out of school, or do some sort of home schooling. I'm praying that this gets better within the next week because I really don't want to drop out of school.

I really appreciate your concerns and helpful advice on my recovery, and i think that writing all my negative thoughts down is a great idea. As a matter of fact, I've actually tried that in the past. I never really took it seriously though, and i think i'm ganna get more into it this time. Today I tried getting into mindfulness mediation, and it gave me such a relaxed feeling. I feel like it might actually help me recover! I'm ganna keep trying my best with it, and hopefully I'll see some results soon.

Thanks,

Andrew



gasspanicc said:


> just finish high school the best you fckin can and then, if you need just take some time off to recooperate. i mean you have two months coming up to get a hold of your nickers, hang in there. i would advise to dedicating that time to healing work.
> 
> 
> 
> , start mindfulness, see a doctor or psycholgist or someone. but one thing you must do first, and once you do this it will be a lot easier. DONT FUCKING RUMINATE! gl


I just downloaded this onto my ipod as an audio book, and you have no clue how pleased i am with it. Thank you so much for showing me this, i feel like it's really ganna help. I've attempted mindfulness mediation in the past, but i gave up quickly. This guy can help guide me through it so i can finally do it the right way, and hopefully i'll see some results. I listened to this for about an hour today, and mediated for about 30 minutes and i felt sooooo relaxed after, and i felt a lot more peace with my mind(if that makes any sense). I'll let you know how this helps me in the long run, you might have just saved my ass!

Thanks again,

Andrew


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## sheldon780 (Apr 17, 2013)

Dont know if you tried this, but verbalize whats on your mind, when im driving and feeling shitty, ill just start talking to myself out loud, saying all of my thoughts, get angry at them, whatever you feel like saying, just say it out loud, yell it if you have to, it feels really freeing to me, and sometimes I realize how stupid and silly some of my thoughts are hahaha!!! Keep going, you're very strong man, we support you and any choice you make


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

Hey everyone, this is my last post on this site. I just wanted to say that I think i'm ganna be home schooled for the next two months. My school offered me home tutoring for 10 hours a week, and I defiantly think i need to at least give it a try. Hopefully I can pull through, and get through this year! Thanks for all your support guys, and i wish you all the best of luck.

Andrew


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## sb87 (Apr 16, 2013)

andy25 said:


> Hey everyone, this is my last post on this site. I just wanted to say that I think i'm ganna be home schooled for the next two months. My school offered me home tutoring for 10 hours a week, and I defiantly think i need to at least give it a try. Hopefully I can pull through, and get through this year! Thanks for all your support guys, and i wish you all the best of luck.
> 
> Andrew


that's great that you've been offered the 10 hours from your school. We experience this thing differently so our approach will be different, you know what's best for you. so i'm glad you're starting to find peace and good methods. good luck and here's to a full full recovery.


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