# A nice little story



## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

So a guy gets on myspace and says "your hot" to me...

and email back thanks

then i go to my livejournal and make fun of his bad grammar

hours later I have this conversation wtih my friend (I'm speedoflug)

SpeedoFlug: blah
lleblnad: blah?
SpeedoFlug: so you know that guy i just posted about?
lleblnad: uh, no i don't know him, but i know what you're talking about?
SpeedoFlug: well i mean not know but know
SpeedoFlug: yeah
SpeedoFlug: he asked for my number
SpeedoFlug: and I,
lleblnad: gave it to him?
SpeedoFlug: in dire need of something interesting to happen in my boring life
SpeedoFlug: even if it's the dumbest and worst experience outside of getting arrested
SpeedoFlug: gave mr grammar pants my number
lleblnad: whoa, you're like. . um. . .out of your medication again?
SpeedoFlug: no i just got a refill

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SpeedoFlug: the worst thing, i don't even know what he looks like
SpeedoFlug: all his pics are group pic so r pics of his brother
SpeedoFlug: but some girl, in her testimonial to him , said "your hot" so i guess if a dumb girl thinks so than I should too
lleblnad: yah, i'm going to start mass spamming, definitely
SpeedoFlug: you can't have your actual pic though...it brings intrigue
SpeedoFlug: i'm really intrigued right now, you see?
lleblnad: oh. . ok. 
lleblnad: hrm. I know, i'll get a picture of me in amongst a bunch of good looking guys and let them assume i'm not, 'him'
SpeedoFlug: lol
SpeedoFlug: group pics
SpeedoFlug: the way to go
lleblnad: yah, i see.
lleblnad: and write unintelligibly

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SpeedoFlug: i need to rest before tonight
SpeedoFlug: yeah but i need to eat first
lleblnad: so. . i can just start mass spamming girls on myspace and hopefully really bored ones will eventually say yes? Cool.
SpeedoFlug: it's really complicated abtually
SpeedoFlug: i have to do it all in order
SpeedoFlug: the worst thing, i don't even know what he looks like
SpeedoFlug: all his pics are group pic so r pics of his brother
SpeedoFlug: but some girl, in her testimonial to him , said "your hot" so i guess if a dumb girl thinks so than I should too
lleblnad: yah, i'm going to start mass spamming, definitely
SpeedoFlug: you can't have your actual pic though...it brings intrigue
SpeedoFlug: i'm really intrigued right now, you see?
lleblnad: oh. . ok. 
lleblnad: hrm. I know, i'll get a picture of me in amongst a bunch of good looking guys and let them assume i'm not, 'him'
SpeedoFlug: lol
SpeedoFlug: group pics
SpeedoFlug: the way to go
lleblnad: yah, i see.
lleblnad: and write unintelligibly
SpeedoFlug: use things such as "my brother" but don't identify your brother but let them assume that your brother must be one of those buff hunks so genetics will render you a copy of him
lleblnad: heh, other day at school some student emailed me to ask a big big favor. . that normally i probably would've granted. . but he didn't capitalize the pronoun 'i', so. . fuck him
SpeedoFlug: not to say you're not attractive, but you know...the intrigue thing still helps!
SpeedoFlug: lol
lleblnad: oh yes, i totally understand what you're not saying
SpeedoFlug: my toasted ravioli is cold
lleblnad: microwave it
SpeedoFlug: using the convection thing on the microwave SUX
SpeedoFlug: that's what i did
lleblnad: aha
SpeedoFlug: but i gave the microwave one chance
SpeedoFlug: and it didnt' do it riht
SpeedoFlug: i'm not going back
SpeedoFlug: never again
lleblnad: yeah, i hate it when appliances reject me. I never forget, never forgive.
lleblnad: I didn't use my blender once for two months.
lleblnad: and didn't wash sheets for like 4 years.
SpeedoFlug: i understand
SpeedoFlug: it really hurts
lleblnad: that's a true story btw
SpeedoFlug: wait
SpeedoFlug: that's gross
lleblnad: thank you
SpeedoFlug: i don't even use sheets anymore!
SpeedoFlug: and that's a true story
SpeedoFlug: probaby grosser
lleblnad: no really, one day back when i was in law school I realized i hadn't thought to wash my sheets in. . a long time. i'd just forgot about it. . so I didn't anymore, till they finally fell apart.
lleblnad: i didn't have a lot of overnight guests in those days
lleblnad: nowadays too, come to think of it. . . 
lleblnad: and besides, why do you need sheets anyway?
SpeedoFlug: when you're on your period
lleblnad: oh yeah
lleblnad: i know what you mean kinda. . i mean, after a good all you can eat mexican buffet, you really need to have sheets
SpeedoFlug: yeah but a period is like a mexican buffet without having to even eat anything
lleblnad: no, i heard that if you stop eating you don't get periods
lleblnad: much
SpeedoFlug: you have to do that for a really really long time
lleblnad: oh ok
SpeedoFlug: you know i really did just do a bad thing by giving that guy my number
lleblnad: http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/bad ... overs2.htm
lleblnad: i know
SpeedoFlug: b/c i looked closer at the pics to identify him, and there's one of him and some friends on the beach and his swim trunks are below his ass
SpeedoFlug: that's disturbing
lleblnad: yup.
SpeedoFlug: omg those are bad album covers
SpeedoFlug: oh crap. my phone is ringing.

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lleblnad: oh no. . what are you going to do?
SpeedoFlug: sit and eat my ravioli
lleblnad: a brilliant plan.
SpeedoFlug: i can't believe i gave my number to a guy who doesn't know how to wear his clothes
SpeedoFlug: well he does work out
lleblnad: I know your number, and I don't have the faintest clue how to dress myself. I just wear whatever I get at birthdays and christmas. .occasionally supplemented with another blue shirt.
SpeedoFlug: yeah but you don't let your swimsuit hang below your ass
lleblnad: that's true. I don't even think i own a swimsuit.
SpeedoFlug: i'm jsut staring in disbelief now
SpeedoFlug: ironically the front part is covered up on him, probably to not let us know that those steriods gave him a tiny penis
lleblnad: Sad thing, I noticed the other day in the mirror that with the loss of weight I no longer posses an ass. Just two kinda dimples. It's sad, to lose something you weren't even aware you had.
SpeedoFlug: really?
SpeedoFlug: weird
SpeedoFlug: it hurts too much to crane my neck far enough to view my ass, so I am really not aware of it
SpeedoFlug: "im a fun guy, jus like too have a good time with my friends, i love sports. "
SpeedoFlug: hey he is an aquarius
SpeedoFlug: so we are compatible
SpeedoFlug: if i can get past all the superficial things, you know
lleblnad: . . .
lleblnad: yup
lleblnad: you almost got me there
SpeedoFlug: and he's 5'11"
SpeedoFlug: I really hate how all the guys are shorter than me now
lleblnad: ??
SpeedoFlug: you know..it seems like every guy I know is 5'2" and I'm five three so it really bugs me...i can't wear heels and stuff

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SpeedoFlug: uh oh phone ringing again
SpeedoFlug: thurs
lleblnad: k
SpeedoFlug: aw man just morgan and jason avery
SpeedoFlug: no weird pantsless guy
lleblnad: ahh, ok. Don't know Morgan, don't know Jason.
SpeedoFlug: neither of them are Mr Test Subject
SpeedoFlug: now i feel unloved

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lleblnad: dude, if you're gonna post my conversations, let me say somethin funny, y'know, like never changing sheets.
SpeedoFlug: oh i thought you didn't want that broadcasted
lleblnad: jk, iethe way
lleblnad: either, that is
lleblnad: thank you!
SpeedoFlug: lol
SpeedoFlug: haha you sure perked up!

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on another note:

lleblnad: no, one nights aren't better than friends with bene's - because friendshipts are usually stronger than akwardness, but when you see a onenighter on the street you run
SpeedoFlug: no you don't
SpeedoFlug: you usually don't see them at all
SpeedoFlug: unless you'e in New York City
SpeedoFlug: where out of a city with ten million people, you run into the exact person you DONT want to see.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

2 minutes later:

SpeedoFlug: i need to go to the bathroom
SpeedoFlug: and that guy still hasn't called
SpeedoFlug: i'm breaking up with him

lleblnad: are you going to tell him or just let him figure it out on his own?

SpeedoFlug: I don't know if he's capable of figuring something out

lleblnad: ok well. . send him a long note
lleblnad: y'know, list your reasons - he never calls you anymore, he's always out with his friends, and the constant ungrammatical flirting with other girls

SpeedoFlug: he has no respect for MY feelings

lleblnad: that bastard

SpeedoFlug: i'm so hurt

lleblnad: you should get all your friends to harass him


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## Guest (Mar 6, 2005)

Don't worry person3. I know breakups are hard, but they happen for a reason. The reason it happened is because you are meant to be with ME and not him. However, I am only 5 foot 10, so if that's a problem then i'll go buy a pair of high tops. So glad that I finally found my woman!


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## maria (Oct 28, 2004)

My convo with my dad in the car (my dad's "Dad", I'm "I")

Dad: so what's wrong with you?
I: Well...I just don't feel that good, don't really enjoy anything and so on...
Dad: You know what, one time not so long ago I was sitting at a hotel lobby with my friend Dieter* and a bishop walked by. Now a normal person would have just thought that "oh gee, a bishop" and kept quiet. But my friend shouted "hey bishop! Bless us!" (laughter) Now that's not normal.But the bishop handled it really smart, bowed and made a cross sign. 
I: What's your point?
Dad: I'm just saying you're normal. 
I: Ok.

*not real name


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## Guest (Mar 6, 2005)

Conversation with myself earlier today:

Pure Narcotic: Should i order pepperoni or sausage?
Pure Narcotic: Man, that girls ass is huge
Pure Narcotic: I wish I could get laid right now
Pure Narcotic: I am still debating, pepperoni or sausage
Pure Narcotic: Hmm, pepperoni sounds ggg...oh man, check out that broad, smokinnnn
Pure Narcotic: uhuhuhuhu that was cool yeah uhuhuhuhuhuh
Pure Narcotic: I wish I could get laid right now
(((pizza arrives)))
Pure Narcotic: Pizza is the second best thing next to getting laid
Pure Narcotic: Let's see what's one television
Pure Narcotic: Yessss, Gilmore girls. SWEEET!
Pure Narcotic: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
(((wakes up)))
Pure Narcotic: Hmm, morning wood..innnterresting


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

aren't conversations great?


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

pure narcotic- yes, but look, now you've moved from Dallas to Austin! Now I'd have to drive 9 hours and not know my way around for someone who's only PRETENDING to be 5'11". That's not cool!


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## Guest (Mar 6, 2005)

Actually I still live in Dallas. Austin just sounds cooler though. So now you only have to drive 4 hours and i'll lose the high tops, so I won't be pretending anymore. :roll: :roll:


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Wait...you LIED about where you live to pick up chicks?! :shock:

I don't even know who you are anymore!!!


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## gimpy34 (Aug 10, 2004)

Hey I'm 5'10" also! Small world.

Everybody tells me I look like I'm 5'11"...and that I look like the lead singer of Maroon 5 sans the tattoos.


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## Guest (Mar 7, 2005)

I'm 5'9".


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## Guest (Mar 7, 2005)

Speaking of Marroon 5..

"This love is taking it's toll, she said goodbye too many times before."

That's for you person3(melissa.) You have broken my heart one too many times. I am not going to tolerate it anymore. Why is my love not good enough? Why darnn sarn it!


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## Guest (Mar 7, 2005)

Six foot of prime British Beef :lol:


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Because, Pure Narcotic,
a) I'm in love with a man who tells me "your hot", and
b) how could I possibly love you when I can't even LOCATE you!!!

  

(plus I hate that Marroon 5 song)


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## Guest (Mar 8, 2005)

806 longford Drive. Southlake, Texas 76092.

There. You can locate me now! And i think your sizzlin, so does that mean that we can now be together?


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I've never heard of Southlake...where is that?


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

ah googled it. Man I dunno...that WOULD mean going back to Texas...you know how NICE it is to have traffic jams that are only half a mile long?


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