# Scared Im Going Mental! Schizophrenia?Anxiety?Brain Damage?



## IbizaParadise (Apr 7, 2009)

I'm a 19 years old male. At age 16 I met this girl who at the time was older than me. I really got used to her and thought that she is the only person on earth that can make me happy. After a year she cheated on me and because of that i got really depressed and i started doing drugs. I did ecstasy few times and smoked marijuana for over a year. Almost a year ago i had this panic attack while on ecstasy thinking i might die and thats where i got my first panic attack. After a month one day i was with friends and we were smoking a joint and i started feeling extremely weird. i started feeling my life is a dream and i started having an extreme heart beat, thinking im dying. I went to emergency room and after a night staying there i came home. I went to an heart specialist and he did all sorts of tests and he said there is nothing wrong with me physically its probably stress. After that day i stopped doing drugs and i never even touched a cigarette. I was sober and going on with my school and everything for 9 months but something weird happened 4 months ago. One day i suffered a neck strain and i went to a doctor and he gave me this medication. I took the medication and went to bed. The day after when i woke up i ate breakfast and right after i ate breakfast i started feeling like my whole body is going numb and my legs started shaking and i felt like there is something serious happening to me. So i started freaking out and i couldn't even move because i felt like im all numbed. I ended up going to the emergency room. They did a blood test and x-ray from my neck and they said there is nothing wrong with me. That night when i got home thats when all the problems started. I started feeling like im in a dream (similar to my bad trips on marijuana) and i had these following symptoms: 
Nausea, Stomach Noises, Headaches, Feeling this noise in my ears, seeing flashes, waking up scared every 20 min, fast heart beat, walking around the house for no reason, thinking im dying or there is something seriously wrong with me. 
This went on for almost a month and all this time i didnt come out of this dreamy feeling and i had all the symptoms. I didnt even feel normal for a minute during that month. So i went to my family Doctor and asked for a full blood test, a CT scan from my head and an MRI from my neck. It all came as normal. Thats when my doctor told me im probably suffering from anxiety. After a month i started feeling better until few weeks ago when i started having the dreamy feeling again. This time its not as bad as the last time like unlike the previous time i can function and go on with my daily life. But i have been feeling weird lately. I Dont know if what i feeling is the derealization/depersonlaization feeling that everyone talks about. The funny thing is i cant even describe it. It feels like everything is a picture and i have all these pictures attached to each other. So when i moved my head its like im seeing 100 picture frames at like 1 sec. If you know what i mean. Anyways i have been trying to cope with this although its really hard for me. I think the most difficult part about this is that im not sure if what im experiencing is because of anxiety and im scared it might be something more serious. Something physical or even a more serious mental condition. I used to do ecstasy for couple of months and i stopped like 2 years ago but im scared that i got brain damage from using ecstasy which everyone tells me is very unlikely. Its all panic and anxiety. Does anyone feel like this like dreamy and this picture frame like vision? i was also sitting with my family on the dinner table and i felt like im in a different from and im seeing them from outside. i dont even know !!
i have been having a constant derealization (dreamy feeling) for the past 10 days and im really worried that i might have done some damage to my brain because of the ecstasy use. I have had an MRI from my neck and a CT scan from my head and they both were normal. I'm scared that i might have damaged my brain by using ecstasy. I have been away from drugs for almost 2 years now. Everyone says my anxiety is because of the panic attacks i had before and i havent done any damage to my brain its just the mental effects of the drugs i did. I was just wondering if anyone with the knowledge could comfort me. I even told my family doctor that i have done ecstasy and pot and he seemed very calm about it. He said as long as you are not doing any of those anymore. I did ecstasy for a year and i stopped two years ago but my anxiety started about 6-7 months ago.
Is this going to ever end? Did I get a brain damage from drug use? I sometimes get scared that I might have another mental problem other than anxiety like Schizophrenia or something.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Hey,

You've done all the right steps to make sure you are okay - the blood work, the CT and the MRI.

It sounds like just plain old anxiety and DP/DR. There is nothing here to suggest you have any brain damage, and certainly not schizophrenia.

DP/DR and anxiety often feel like insanity, but you aren't insane and you aren't going insane.

Take a look around the site here, you'll find that you can probably relate to a lot of what people are saying. DP/DR can be VERY hard to describe, so don't worry if your description doesn't sound exactly like someone else's.


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## IbizaParadise (Apr 7, 2009)

thanks mat..
well its really bothering me and im thinking of trying acupuncture and maybe herbal remedies. Im against drugs or any type of medication. I think the anxiety medication is worse then any street drugs out there. i tried not thinking about it but its like every where i look i feel like im going insane. i cant stop thinking about it. I know if do i would be able to get over it.


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## justmaggie (Apr 6, 2009)

Yup those are all the symptoms of anxiety to me my friend. Trust me, when this sort of thing happens you tend to go on every doctor site available, hunting down symtoms you have. It's hard beliving its just anxiety because it's totally overlooked but you did the right thing. You'll be just fine, it'll be alright and dont worry your not going insane, I hope you have a full recovery.


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## esshall (May 30, 2009)

hey man,
i have the same thing, and everyone here does too (with some variations). you are not losing your head, you're sane and the feelings are WEIRD and disturbing. We're all in this together man! You are NOT alone.
-james


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## johannes (Apr 10, 2009)

> The day after when i woke up i ate breakfast and right after i ate breakfast i started feeling like my whole body is going numb and my legs started shaking and i felt like there is something serious happening to me


That's what the body does when it's recovering! Just let it all happen! I do it all the time, and i usually feel much better after i've done it, the tension is shaken off in the muscles. No worries matey! You're gonna be just fine.


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## julio (Jun 16, 2009)

Yeah I felt this way too, there are times were I still feel this way, shaky, panicky, anxious, walk around and pace for no reason because you feel like something bad is going to happen, weird....... I feel like I am scared....... at times.

Hope you feel better, just know you wont die from this and it's scary but you will be ok.....good luck


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## ASr992 (May 28, 2009)

IbizaParadise said:


> It feels like everything is a picture and i have all these pictures attached to each other. So when i moved my head its like im seeing 100 picture frames at like 1 sec.


Perfectly describes how I feel when my depersonalization/derealization kicks in! I also started experiencing DP/DR after a particularly bad trip from weed when I was 16. I ended up going to the hospital that night because I was certain I was going insane. I haven't been 'normal' since then, but obviously I've coped, so don't worry man, you'll be fine. Strangely, despite what everyone says about substances, alcohol and cigarettes seem to help calm me down.


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## ASr992 (May 28, 2009)

IbizaParadise said:


> It feels like everything is a picture and i have all these pictures attached to each other. So when i moved my head its like im seeing 100 picture frames at like 1 sec.


Perfectly describes how I feel when my depersonalization/derealization kicks in! I also started experiencing DP/DR after a particularly bad trip from weed when I was 16. I ended up going to the hospital that night because I was certain I was going insane. I haven't been 'normal' since then, but obviously I've coped, so don't worry man, you'll be fine. Strangely, despite what everyone says about substances, alcohol and cigarettes seem to help calm me down.


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## jfromaz (Mar 23, 2009)

> I have been away from drugs for almost 2 years now. Everyone says my anxiety is because of the panic attacks i had before and i havent done any damage to my brain its just the mental effects of the drugs i did. I was just wondering if anyone with the knowledge could comfort me. I even told my family doctor that i have done ecstasy and pot and he seemed very calm about it. He said as long as you are not doing any of those anymore. I did ecstasy for a year and i stopped two years ago but my anxiety started about 6-7 months ago.
> Is this going to ever end? Did I get a brain damage from drug use? I sometimes get scared that I might have another mental problem other than anxiety like Schizophrenia or something.


I know this must have been your first post or something and you have since somewhat figured out the underlying cause of your DP/DR, but I had to comment on this because I had nearly the exact same experience. Anyways, I also got very detailed neurological work done (MRI with and without contrast, EEG, neuro-psych testing, bloodwork, etc.), have met with various psychologists and psychiatrists, etc. It all comes down to that it is rooted in anxiety and NOT brain damage of any kind. There are many people that get this without having done any drugs at all, and many people that abuse every drug known to man every day of their lives and never experience DP/DR. So after such a long time of suspecting brain damage of some sort, I now know, with the help of neurologists etc. that that is not the problem.. In fact, my neurologist told me something along the lines of how he wished his brain scan looked as good as mine.. Anyways, it is the anxiety/fixation that is the root of the problem..



> Perfectly describes how I feel when my depersonalization/derealization kicks in! I also started experiencing DP/DR after a particularly bad trip from weed when I was 16. I ended up going to the hospital that night because I was certain I was going insane. I haven't been 'normal' since then, but obviously I've coped, so don't worry man, you'll be fine. Strangely, despite what everyone says about substances, alcohol and cigarettes seem to help calm me down.


Everybody is different, but I completely agree with your notion about substances, I stopped drinking for a really long time to no avail and then finally started drinking occasionally again and it has restored a sense of hope in me because previously I would ruminate over the notion that cigarettes/alcohol were counterproductive to getting over DP/DR, and that in turn caused me more anxiety because I wouldn't be able to go get rude with my friends and head on down to the concert venue to do some thrashing. On the other hand I know for a fact I will never be able to smoke weed again, just because that spikes a surge of anxiety and brings all of my negative feelings to the surface, which is why I quit smoking dope a year and half ago. DP/DR shouldn't stop anyone from partying, unless it causes you anxiety of course.

To anyone it may concern, this is NOT brain damage to begin with, it's more of a defense mechanism type thing due to prolonged periods of intense anxiety, don't ruminate over believing you have brain damage, it will make you much worse, I speak from experience, and I have gotten over this bullsh!t in the past.. completely.


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## chloe (Aug 31, 2009)

I felt exactly the same way when I first experienced DP/DR, I was so scared that I had brain damage I worked myself into such a state which is the worst thing you can do. I couldn't stop analyzing the way i felt which totally made it worse & heightened all the weird things I was experiencing such as objects moving/flickering, similar to what you described, also just feeling like I was behind glass, not recignising 'me' in the mirror, the world looked like a pop-up book, everyone seemed like robots, I too felt robot like - I just couldn't connect to anything, all of this made me so scared my heart felt like it was going to bust out of my chest, i too would wake up in panic every ten minutes or so!

The best advise I can give you is to stop thinking about it, I know it's hard but that advice helped me, it will lessen the severity of the experience. I know this because I've been living with it for nearly ten years now & the onset was ecstasy based. I have had three friends however who have also experienced dp/dr (all drug induced) but all of them came out of it after between 6months - 1year.............. that's what really helped me get through it, knowing that others are going through the same thing & that I wasn't going mental, & that one day I too may come out of it!

Try to relax & don't forget to breathe, it will get better, positive thoughts my friend! You are not alone.


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## awm4 (Aug 22, 2009)

I wouldn't suggest trying accupunture, I tried that and while it was relaxing it didn't really help any, and also some of the incense that was burned made me feel more out of it. I don't really have too much to suggest as I am not doing super great myself right now, but remember that you are not going to go insane, and try as much as you can to ignore how weird you are feeling because focusing on it will only make it worse. I wish you the best of luck - we're the same age and mine (re)started from very similarly, so I completely understand what you are going through.


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## bennyboy24 (Dec 7, 2009)

i no exactly how u fell brotha im 15 years old did 3 grams mushrooms in grade 8 felt good after i used to smk weed every day every minute i would always hang out with the older kids that are like 19 18 i even hung out with adults smoked pot with them what ever grade nine year i was still tokin weed every day with freinds and older freinds i always liked to party with the older kids because the freinds my age were bicths when it came to weed and alchol i was a trouble maker did b and e for my booze and money robbed a museum for 40 bucks i thouht there be lol got did some time like a month and im still 14 at the time ur probly thinking if got a family yes i do i have two yunger sisters a mom and a dad my dad is a good but hes ben addicted to coke for who knows how long but my problems have nothing to with so any way i turn 15 every thing goin good smkin dope every day party in it up with my older friends well one we all wanted to get fucked up but not drunk weed high we wanted some ex before we got it i did research on it and didnt like what i found out about so i dident that time i just wacthed them get hi off ex it looked great i told myself dont be alittle bicth try it next time they get it sure enough they got it gave me half a pill becase i was young i started fellin great u know liked it so i did it again 1 pill liked it did it again but this time i did it i felt good at first then my body started to get hot couldent feel my whole body so then started to run and run because i thought my heart was goin to stop any after 30min othat i felt good but i dident do any more ex after that a month i went up north with my family felt good i brought a phat joint along so when i got there i smoked it immedly after smoking i was panicing in my head and i didnt no wat was up ithought my dealer laced my weed with coke but i no he so so im still trippin 6 h go by i wasent but i felt so dizzy and i had anxiety and i couldent even smoke my ciggerrets and i couldent go to the docter because im on vacation so tried to sleep it off dident work up and i felt like there was somthin seriously wrong with me still had dizzyness and anxiety so it was like this through the vk i get home and i can think about is if im going nuts or i got cancer or diebeties i go to the docter and im alright did every thing u did execpt i was still trying to smk weed but every time i did id have a panic attack so stoped smokin in it for 2 weeks but my best freind just got out of jail and he smokes weed just as much as i usto so slowly started to cop with this problem it went on for 2 months but it was still bad 1 day go to school after coming back from a 20 day suspention i get into a fight and i punched 1 time in the face then i black out i wake up im getting arrested i thought i killed the fucker but it was the other way around he knocked me out then i heard i hit my head off the desk and the floor woke up appearintly but i dont rember then was lookin for the kid who knocked me out and while i was lookin for him through the the princepals were trying to stop so i punched both in the face they had allready called the cops they see and i walked towards them and said as they were arresting me what the fuck did i do and went to jail but the whole point was after i got knocked i woke but i dident know it yet but it kinda cured my anxeity i still got but it wasent nearly as bad as it was and i got expelled lol


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## green1706 (Dec 15, 2009)

stroke symptoms
When brain cells are deprived of oxygen, they cease to perform their usual tasks. The symptoms that follow a stroke depend on the area of the brain that has been affected and the amount of brain tissue damage.
Small strokes may not cause any symptoms, but can still damage brain tissue. These strokes that do not cause symptoms are referred to as silent strokes. According to The U.S. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), these are the five major signs of stroke: 
1.	Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body. The loss of voluntary movement and/or sensation may be complete or partial. There may also be an associated tingling sensation in the affected area. 
2.	Sudden confusion or trouble speaking or understanding. Sometimes weakness in the muscles of the face can cause drooling. 
3.	Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes 
4.	Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination 
5.	Sudden, severe headache with no known cause


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