# I knew I wasn't schizophenic!!



## mothership90505 (Jul 30, 2007)

Hello everyone,

What a relief to finally find there is a name to what I have been living with for the past 20 years!

Here is a brief outline of my illness. 
At 21 symptoms started showing up. Severe anxiety, sense of not being in my body, everything in 2-d or flat, negative thoughts or mind chatter.

Going to the Doctor ended up with me getting a Schizophenia diagnosis and a bottle of haldol. Which ended up with my getting worse and not helping any of my symptoms, which ended up with a mulitude of hospitalizations and being ping ponged back in forth on different drugs.

At one point i was sent home to my Mother a drooling brain dead zombie so pumped full of drugs that all I remember from that year was that I liked muffins from the local bakery and would walk to the corner everday to buy one.

I had to put my baby daughter in foster care and eventually lost custody of her and had to watch her grow up from the sidelines.

Through all this I have always maintained that I was not Schizophenic, I gave up on Doctors long ago and any medication that might help. I have lived with this thing for so long secretly scared that it might take over someday. I have learned to not talk about it with anyone other than family.

As I am getting older the times between relapse or episodes is greater. But it knocks me on my ass everytime and reminds me I am different. 
But thank god I now know that I am not alone in this and I was right all along I am not Schizophrenic!!


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

Howdy,

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that 
Hopefully it will be easier from now on. At least now you know and sometimes knowing makes it easier to deal with.


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## szeret (Aug 7, 2007)

Layla said:


> Howdy,
> 
> I'm sorry you had to go through all of that
> Hopefully it will be easier from now on. At least now you know and for me at least knowing makes it easier to deal with.
> It's horrible how so many of us have been given wrong diagnoses by ignorant doctors.


^Ditto.


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## hypnapompic (Aug 18, 2007)

Yeah, I've come out of a two decade belief that I was schizophrenic as I had been told at the age of 21, much like you I was on anti-psychotics and so forth. I'm glad to know depersonalization is the truth of things for me - It's like ending one journey and going to another one.....


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## Guest (Aug 26, 2007)

God damnit! It`s so typical! I wonder.. In the United states.. If you go to a psych and tell him symptoms of Dp,does he know what it is? I know they don not here.


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## FightingDepression (Aug 23, 2007)

They don't know it here either.
They worte "delusions" for me but claimed i'm behaving too well to be a schizophrenic..

I had to suggest depersonalization myself and they didn't know what it is.. kinda sad.

But wow.. 20 years wasted like that, I feel sorry for you :/


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Fuck doctors. I am 19. Have dropped out of college. Kissed all my friends goodbye and have been living in this fucking nightmare for 7 months now. I wake up and can't get out of bed. I can't function or do anything. All i do is sleep and watch movies. I have been to so many fucking doctors I cant even count. Why are there no doctors that know about this? I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and the list goes on. I use to be a fucking normal person. Now I wake up in this shithole world and wonder when it's going to end. If ever. Fuck doctos, sorry I just need to get some anger out.


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