# Feel Like I'm Going Crazy



## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

So I came down with DP/DR about a month and a half ago. I went on Abilify and had mild improvement for a few days. I still had dp/dr but I was able to function. Then one night I had been talking to someone and I suddenly didn't know who the person was or where I was at. Everything felt super clear but at the same time, it was like I had just woken up from a dream and I had no idea where I was at. I knew facts about who I was and where I was but everything seemed odd. This intense feeling stayed for a few days and I was admitted to the hospital. I was taken off of abilify and started on prozac and klonopin. Once again, within a few days I started to see improvement. I actually almost felt normal for one day. Then things flat lined again and I went to see my psych. She suggested that we double the prozac I was taking. I was on that new dose for a days and my dp/dr started getting much worse. I called the psych and she said that she thinks I need to wean off of the prozac and just try something else. I agreed and am on my 2nd day of my lower dose (I'm supposed to take 20 mg for a week and then go down to 10 and then off) and I feel like I am losing my mind. When things started getting worse I went from feeling like I don't know where I am but knowing it wasn't real to actually feeling like I don't know where I am and not really having much concept that it isn't real. I know facts about myself and where I am at but when I look around it feels like I am somewhere strange and like I don't recognize the things I see. I also feel this way about myself. I have memories of things that have happened in my life but I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I just feel like this other person existing in this other universe and I am beginning to wonder if I am developing another personality or something. I am having extreme anxiety today on top of these feelings and I just feel like I am going crazy. I know that we all dissociate differently but has anyone else ever had experiences like this?


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

Yes... I have had what you're talking about, I actually went through different stages of gradual episodes in which everything worsened. I found myself taking a combo of fluoxetin(prozac) and zoloft while I was extremely disoriented and feeling like my mind was just gone.. Like my previous personality went away and some frankenstein was now existing. but at the same time the drug combo really increased my serotonin cuz I was feeling good and zombied at the same time. I eventually realized something wasn't right, I couldn't realize myself, it was like I was just an automation completely automated in response and action.

The scariest part was when I felt my brain change like 5 times in the course of 3 years and I couldn't even remember who I used to be. I just felt like a robot and NO ONE understood me. Everyone thought it was a joke or something but to me it wasn't a joke... I wanted to kill people that's how bad I felt on the inside and I didn't even give a fuk becuz nothing even mattered anyways at the time..

The thing is you're not used to these feelings, they are still really fresh in your mind. So you are gonna trip out more than I do now.. Well only help I could add is either take a benzodiazepene for your anxiety or buy some theanine and Gaba and take them together. This will lower your fear put you in a calmer state of mind, where you need to be...

Also during the first few weeks of taking prozac, it indirectly excites the 5htc receptor of serotonin by increasing all or most of the 5HT receptors. There have been studies done that show that the 5Htc receptor when activated is responsible for depressive and anxiety symptoms thus creating more dp/dr. Increasing the dosage could have increased that receptor in your brain and when it is increased it causes an inhibition of dopamine which when low makes you feel out of tune and not in focus, depressed lack of energy etc.

I can't say much because I don't know much about your history, for all i know this is completely unlike your symptoms. If you would tell me more about yourself it would help.

Like your previous disorders e.g. a.d.h.d. panic, ocd, depression, etc..


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

Well, I have had episodes of dp/dr since I was a child but didn't know what they were until now. They would last a few minutes to a few hours and go away. I have had panic attacks since I was 9 and depression.


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> Well, I have had episodes of dp/dr since I was a child but didn't know what they were until now. They would last a few minutes to a few hours and go away. I have had panic attacks since I was 9 and depression.


Would you subsequently get dp/dr as a result of a panic attack ?


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2009)

Oddly enough, no. I have never gotten dp/dr from a panic attack but have had a panic attack happen after the dp/dr sensations set it off.


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> Oddly enough, no. I have never gotten dp/dr from a panic attack but have had a panic attack happen after the dp/dr sensations set it off.


hmmm I see and I can understand, dp/dr is a frightening experience which can set off a panic attack by itself. My advice to you is don't be afraid... the dp/dr is feeding off of your emotions and your revolving negative cycles. Stay on some sort of anti-anxiety medication to keep your fear at bay. Be careful about which drugs you take, some of them will work in opposite to your brain chemistry. Klonopin I heard was a good drug in dealing with anxiety and fear but be careful with it since it is a benzo . Also if fluoxetine is working opposite to what is desirable then serotonin might not be the problem, either that or your body is just not used to the drug. It's not uncommon that people feel worst before feeling better on ssri's.

How is your concentration? your ability to focus ? do you often day dream ? motivation ?

Do you feel a lack of arousal ? like do you feel like nothing stimulates you to do things?

Are you an excessive worrier? do you have any fixed ideas of revolving thought? any obsessive qualities about yourself ?

Impulse control? how are you at controlling impulses ?

All these questions are important in understanding the way your mind works. But still the best psychiatrist is the one in YOUR head. I can't go in your head. you're the one living with it.. just like i'm living with mine. Still I can get a rough idea if you give me more clues


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

i just wanted to reiterate what backagain said about how difficult this problem is when it first starts out. I remember when it first hit me having very similar feelings of what the hell is going on, what is all this around me? and yet i was still able to speak fine and recognize things even though everything looked completely off. I would come home crying almost every day which is not like me at all thinking that i was going crazy. Now, i am not cured or better but i've just learned to deal with it i guess. So i just want to say that yes this sucks and im sorry you are experiencing it too, but it does get easier simply because you get used to it and it isn't quite as frightening. I don't believe you will go crazy either seeing as there are plenty of us here that have had that fear for a long time and it has never happened. Benzo's are a good starting point, but be careful because they are hard to get off of. I would recommend taking no medicine if at all possible. Anyway, hope you have some better days ahead!


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2009)

backagain said:


> tinyfairypeople said:
> 
> 
> > Oddly enough, no. I have never gotten dp/dr from a panic attack but have had a panic attack happen after the dp/dr sensations set it off.
> ...


My concentration and focus are horrible. If I try to sit and think about something my mind wanders. I try not to daydream because it always feels like "waking up" again to the dissociated feelings and that is the worst part of my day. I hate waking up from sleep. I have no motivation. I have been in bed for weeks. Yes I am an always have been an excessive worrier. Not sure what you mean about fixed ideas od revolving thought. I have mild ocd. Not sure how I am at controlling impulses since the dp/dr set in because my only impulse has been to freak out and I have managed to keep that under control with breathing slowly and benzos.


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> My concentration and focus are horrible. If I try to sit and think about something my mind wanders. I try not to daydream because it always feels like "waking up" again to the dissociated feelings and that is the worst part of my day. I hate waking up from sleep. I have no motivation. I have been in bed for weeks. Yes I am an always have been an excessive worrier. Not sure what you mean about fixed ideas od revolving thought. I have mild ocd. Not sure how I am at controlling impulses since the dp/dr set in because my only impulse has been to freak out and I have managed to keep that under control with breathing slowly and benzos.


Did you ever get diagnosed with an attention disorder like A.D.D. ?

A.D.D and O.C.D can often be associated with each other.

There could be an imbalance in the dopamine receptors

where they range from being Low (poor focus, poor impulse control, poor attention, daydreaming) and then increase to high (ocd like symptoms, obsessive worrying, obsessive thinking, compulsive actions,)

OCD symptoms could occur because your mind is searching for new ways to deal with the low dopamine so it creates ways to increase the dopamine. That's why when you are low on feeling good about things you perform rituals to create positive reaassuring meanings in your mind so that the brain can release more feel good hormones like dopamine to deal with the imbalance.

Have you tried any psychostimulants like Adderall ?


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