# dp/dr/ psychotic symptoms and hppd



## pjotr910 (Jan 30, 2014)

Hello everybody,

my name is pjotr, i'm 23, and come from the netherlands. Well i joined this forum not to figure like a proffesor out what kind of bio- chemical problems my brain is suffering from (i had that fase and figured it's way to complicated), but to communicate with fellow sufferers. and yea also maybe to see if somebody found out a cure, and to dabble a little bit into the biochemical stuff . 
I have a long history of anxiety, and funny enough i don't suffer from that anymore. but it all started there, a long long time ago, when i hit puberty, i developed social anxiety. it was pretty bad, and kinda stayed with me, but got way better when puberty finally passed, and i hit 17 and i was able to live a 'normal' live. i made friends, girlfriends, traveled to asia for 5 months with friends, went to university, and i began to learn to live with a bit of anxiety, but it was not as crippling as it was in puberty. 
but soon after i turned 20, i dissociated, and developed dp/dr. it was basically a disconnected feeling, and i felt out of it, and could'nt connect with people anymore. i hated it and connecting with people was basically where i lived for. i'm a very 'emotional' person if i'm myself, with funny enough have an strong feeling of connectiong with the world around me, if i'm not sick that is. but i got sick, and started to party a lot, to get drunk and connect, but well after a year of doing that i had a pannik attack, got this stressy burned out feeling and sought psychiatric help.

this was about 2 years ago. the psychiatrist said i was burned-out, and i agreed, and went back to live with my parents. ( i lived at amsterdam for my study). i then developed an obsession for food and supplements, and got this silly idea that i should raise my neurotransmitters with suppelements. so i started to take a lot of supps, like lithium, p5p, tryptophane, 5htp, rhodiola, all together, and that was the most stupid thing i did in my life : i developed psychotic symptoms, together with an never ending trip. i never did any hard drugs, but i feel like i'm on acid all the time for almost a year now, i see lights, visueal snow, tracers, after images, the walls breathe, etc etc.....

the depersonalization en derealization is different than the one i had before. first it was just a feeling, than a pannick attack, en after the supps it's like an acid trip. I also still suffer from my burn out, and feel too tired all the time to do anything, and i make one walk a day but that's is, i can't exercise, although i really want to.

i'm now on disability, and still live with my parents..and my symptoms were improving, but i had a relapse because i drank too much, to forget, and with the idea that together with the meds i'm on it might put in me in a nice place, although that was silly, and i don't want that. so that's pretty much the reason i'm here. i wanna keep on fighting for a better existence, and i don't want to die, but to get better, i'm almost forgetting how it feels to be sad, happy or in love, and to connect with my family, or just the small things, like waking up in bed, and thinking no no i wanna stay in. or if somebody tells you a story, and you feel like you can relate.

I'm currently on a ketogenic diet, mainly because it's recommended for people with epilepsy, and there's this correlation between dp/dr and anti-epileptic meds.
i don't take that much sups anymore, just NAC 2400 mg, and ALA 600mg, and ALCAR 1000mg, and L-theanine 200mg.
i know it's kinda stupid but in my deadly trial and error i found out that NAC helped me so i kepped taking it.

my meds are citalopram 40mg and zyprexa 2.5mg (this is for my psychotic symptom, which is paranoia, like when i'm in the same room with my mother, i get this pop-up in my screem that she's watching me. i know it's not true, my psychiatrist said she never had met somebody with such an 'insight' in there psychotic symptoms as she said it. but that's basically why i think it's not really endogenous schizoprhenia, but more depression/burn out/and drug induced mild psychotic symptoms.

at the time i'm writing novels (in dutch ofcourse), to keep busy, and i've almost finished a novel. and i'm just waiting till things get better, but i'm thinking about doing a couple of things :

for the burn out, i think my cortisol is low. i've tested it with blood test, and it showed bordeline low, but not low enough to get meds. but if i keep feeling this tired (it's not the meds i'm on but a different kind of tired but wired feeling ) and im not improving for let's say at least 1 year. i'm gonna buy Cortef, and see if that helps

For the trip/ lights/ ghotisng/ trails/ and paranoia/realy realy bad visual snow/ and psychotic experiences, i'm also waiting another year, and if nothing helps i'm gonna try keppra, or a calcium channel blocker.

so i'm gonna wait another year, to see if i improve, write a lot a novels, and meanwhile i'm gonna keep on hoping, and maybe even a little bit of praying even though i'm not religious, for and happy ending, and keep of alcohol. and ofcourse be very active on this forum, and maybe meet some nice people, who also are struggling.

GREETINGS!


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## didep (Jul 1, 2011)

My made me blood and urine, where I left high values of bufotenine, dimethyltryptamine, and methylating activity in blood. These substances are found in schizophrenic patients and are responsible for psychotic symptoms and disorders sensoperceptuales.

My doctor gave me the treatment based on these studies and told me that the medication does not have to increase serotonin which is transformed into bufotenine, one of the compounds with hallucinogenic properties.

I copy a summary of one of the studies:

Biochemical markers were studied in 34 psychotic patients compared to controls, e.g., dosage of platelet monoamine oxidase (MAO) and serum amine oxidase (AO), transmethylation activity, and dosage of the urinary N,N-dimethylindolealkylamines, bufotenine and N,N-dimethyltryptamine (DMT). Neuropsychological tests were simultaneously performed to evaluate psychometric parameters in the same subjects under study. Urinary levels of DMT and bufotenine were evaluated by gas chromatography-mass detecspectrometry and high-performance liquid chromatography. The enzymes were dosed by spectrofluorimetric methods. Relationships were established between the statistically significant values of urinary bufotenine and platelet MAO, and of urinary DMT and both platelet MAO and serum AO. The statistically significant values of platelet MAO and those of transmethylation activity were satisfactorily correlated, thus achieving the 91.1% categorization of the 34 subjects in four main types. The sharp decrease in platelet MAO was in agreement with the increase in bufotenine and DMT, and with the perceptual alteration observed in neuropsychological tests. The decrease in serum AO was moderate, but consistent with the transmethylating activity registered. The results support the pathologic transmethylation theory of schizophrenia, and show that these N,N-methylated indolealkylamines are state markers for these pathologies.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

pjotr910 said:


> Hello everybody,
> 
> my name is pjotr, i'm 23, and come from the netherlands. Well i joined this forum not to figure like a proffesor out what kind of bio- chemical problems my brain is suffering from (i had that fase and figured it's way to complicated), but to communicate with fellow sufferers. and yea also maybe to see if somebody found out a cure, and to dabble a little bit into the biochemical stuff .
> I have a long history of anxiety, and funny enough i don't suffer from that anymore. but it all started there, a long long time ago, when i hit puberty, i developed social anxiety. it was pretty bad, and kinda stayed with me, but got way better when puberty finally passed, and i hit 17 and i was able to live a 'normal' live. i made friends, girlfriends, traveled to asia for 5 months with friends, went to university, and i began to learn to live with a bit of anxiety, but it was not as crippling as it was in puberty.
> ...


what do you mean your pop up screen? and isnt it odd that you would be classified as psychotic when you have insight? read more about this here man. I wish someone could tell us if the drugs effects would eventualy fade away


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