# Almost complete recovery.



## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

A continuation from my "random, unexpected recovery" topic.

I'm actually doing 90-100% better myself. The key was accepting, and not reacting with fear to thoughts like "What if I stay like this for ever?", "Why do I exist?", "I feel like I won't be able to love my family ever again!". When you get these thoughts, accept them, analyze them, over-think them if you want... but *DON'T* react with fear to them and *DON'T* try to make them go away, they'll get stronger if you fight them directly, you need to get rid of the fear you have of them. Eventually even if you do think about them, they'll become less and less important and eventually fade away. Another essential thing is trusting in yourself, trusting you are in control, and knowing for a fact you're not going crazy. It's all side effects of anxiety, or anxiety itself which in most cases goes hand in hand with fear (of what ever, mostly stupid thoughts).

For anyone who's a programmer (or super logical thinker) out there, think about it this way:

--------------------
fear = 10;
stupidThought = 1;
anxiety = 1;

while(fear > 0)
{
stupidThought++;
fear++;
anxiety += fear;
}

stupidThought = 0;
anxiety = 0;
--------------------

The amount of fear/anxiety/depression (aka, any negative reaction) you react with to your irrational thought causes a loop which increases the stupid thought by 1 (you think it again), and increases your overall anxiety based on the amount of fear you have. Eliminate the fear, and the loop will stop...
Oh I can't believe how much I love programming. When I was DPDRd I had COMPLETELY lost passion for programming, but now that my fear is gone, my anxiety is gone, and my DPDR is gone. I love what I used to love again







, including my family and hobbies.

If I can do it, you all can, don't be pussies (in the nicest way)







, man up, face your thoughts and challenge them to flood your brain (without fear of them). They will go away on their own.

I know how it feels at the moment you're completely DPDRd where you think "there's no fucking way I'm getting out of this, this is too real and seems impossible to get rid of". But if you really believe in yourself and fight the fear off (***NOTE, DONT fight the thoughts, that'll make them stronger. just fight the fear, get rid of it, accept the thoughts and try to laugh at them) you'll recover 100%.


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## Cathal_08 (Apr 7, 2008)

your right about the whole reacting with fear thing, it creates a loop of thoughts like you said and its hard to get out of that loop when you keep thinkin like that, glad to hear your doing so well, am doing great myself, let us know when your fully recovered?


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

Well I'm 99% free of my DPDR, I have like one of two relapses per day but they last only like 1 second so I don't really care about them







. Now I'm just dealing with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). Not high levels of anxiety, but really small ones that come randomly. But through eliminating fear I feel I have almost gotten rid of the anxiety too.

Keep your hopes up everyone, don't let negative thoughts drive fear into you. Remember, even if you can't control the thoughts, just control the way you react to them. Fear is not a good reaction, maybe say the thought out loud and act it out in a silly way, I know this helps with me.

Today I started feeling a small anxiety attack from the thought of "Will I live the rest of my life worrying about this?", as soon as I started feeling the anxiety, I said out loud "OMG I AM CRAZY, I WILL LIVE LIKE THIS FOR EVER!!!" and imagined myself acting as a crazy person in a movie. After my small acting fit, I realized the anxiety had completely disappeared... >.> lol, weird, but hey! it helped me







maybe it can help you!


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## Constantine (Apr 8, 2009)

I've had DR for quite some time now and I haven't felt fear that resulted from it for about a year. To me it's just uncomfortable and quite irritating. I can never understand how one could possibly stop thinking about it. It is there all the time, how can you ignore it ? Getting lost in the moment hasn't worked for me either, because after the moment has passed you just return to normality (DR). Stopping DR thoughts seems like an impossible task.


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## ChrisPA (Dec 22, 2009)

I couldn't agree more with your approach to overcoming this and everything you say Nugget. I am about in the same state you are in, and all my successes have come as a result of not reacting to fear when I have a self-intrusive DP thought and keeping my mind occupied with other things when possible. Constantine it is not impossible task. It is definitely quite irritating to have the thoughts, but if you can stop labeling the thought as something to hate and approach it with more of a positive attitude it will help. Attitude towards it is just as important as not fearing it. Are you trying to stop thoughts about hating asparagus? No, because you don't label the thought of hating asparagus as some "huge" thing you can't deal with like you do with DR thoughts. If you label the thoughts differently and train yourself to accept the DR thoughts, then they will happen less and less and seem less and less important. When the thought isn't some big thing in your head anymore it will eventually fade away. Good post Nugget.


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

Constantine said:


> I've had DR for quite some time now and I haven't felt fear that resulted from it for about a year. To me it's just uncomfortable and quite irritating. I can never understand how one could possibly stop thinking about it. It is there all the time, how can you ignore it ? Getting lost in the moment hasn't worked for me either, because after the moment has passed you just return to normality (DR). Stopping DR thoughts seems like an impossible task.


It doesn't necessarily have to be a reaction of fear. Even if you give it a reaction of dislike, hate, anger, sadness, any emotional reaction, you will be trapped under the infinite thought loop. When you have a thought just let it be, think about it when it first appears, and then let it go (without any disliking reaction towards it) and I garuantee you won't even remember what that thought was half an hour later.


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## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

I've identified my DP and GAD as resulting from being wounded by other people's abusive and callous remarks or attitudes toward me. I'm very sensitive to negative reactions from other people. My nervous system is sensitive to a fault. It does help me to single-out bad behavior very quickly, but then my body over-reacts to it with fear and DP. The key is recognizing the fear that gets attached to the thoughts, I agree with that 100% Nugget. So, I've found the key to "talking yourself down from the cliff ledge" is to think rationally about why you feel so bad and remember you are over-reacting to another person's insane, soul-killing behavior. My boss had been abusive to me for quite sometime until I was able to do something about it to get him stopped, but I felt horrible GAD and DP everyday, since my nervous system was so overwhelmed. Find out who is abusing you or what you are really fearing, and work through it with your rational mind. Those of us with DP should have intact reality testing, which I have found, is the key that unlocks the door to recovery.


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## Harpo (Oct 15, 2009)

Can't I just use a "goto normal_brain_function;"?


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

No







sorry hehe.

Well I'm just here to inform you guys that I've recovered 100%







! Or maybe 99.99%, but still, close enough. I got this from a panic attack while I was high on weed :\ lol. Don't look for external things for your recovery! While I was searching the web for medications, searching for articles blaming weed for DPDR, etc. etc. I got no where. I got no where looking for external factors to my DPDR. You can't blame weed or an experience you had (excluding near death experiences







), blame yourself and your overactive mind, your fear, and your irrational thinking (this is the first step, acknowledge you're in control, and you're causing the whole "problem")!!!

I didn't stop smoking weed and I didn't take any meds. I basically just changed the way I react to everything. Eliminated the fear, and replaced it with either neutral reactions or positive reactions







.
This doesn't mean you can go back to smoking weed if your case was weed induced too! Just change your habits of thought, change your attitude (don't EVER believe you'll be like this for ever, unless you want to have DPDR for ever...) and you'll be back to normal sooner or later. It takes practice, practice, practice... same goes for anything else in life you'd like to master.

If you're really DPDRd, enjoy the trip for now. It's like being high, but what makes the experience so unpleasant is the fear we have because we don't know what's going on and why this is happening. Stay positive, you'll recover, I promise. Stay negative and no one will be able to help you, not even God >.>. Good luck guys!


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## WANTTOBEBETTER (May 4, 2009)

Good post nugget, I like what you have to say about positve attitude. It definitley is more than 1/2 the battle.
Greg


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

Nugget said:


> --------------------
> fear = 10;
> stupidThought = 1;
> anxiety = 1;
> ...


WOOOOWWW!!!! YOUR SMART!!!! CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

WANTTOBEBETTER said:


> Good post nugget, I like what you have to say about positve attitude. It definitley is more than 1/2 the battle.
> Greg


Yeah, positive attitude + no fear + acceptance of your current state = recovery.


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

yo nugget, i got my dp from smokin weed ten years ago. on your path to being recovered did you change anything? like diet, exercise, meditation?

Im ready to make a serious run at getting better and im just trying to soak in all the useful info I can. it helps that you got it from weed and recovered.

So any extra advice would be great!


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

I haven't been on here in a while. But I'm doing great so far. I still get small relapses (I think I'll never get rid of them, maybe in a few years, but I don't really care) which last a matter of seconds. These don't really interfere with my daily life so it's all good.

Yeah I did have some changes in my lifestyle, some of which are:
- Being happier.
- Eating what I like, but still making sure it's healthy.
- Not smoking so much weed







(I still smoke on weekends... even though it caused my DPDR







). Now that I can control my anxiety levels while high, I'm much better at it while sober. **NOTE: DON'T TRY IT UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO TAKE A *BIG* RISK. THIS COULD WORSEN YOUR CONDITION x100!**
- Picked up longboarding, my new favorite hobby (helped A LOT).
- Sleeping and waking up earlier.

Things that did NOT help (personally, maybe they are useful for others) were:
- Meditation. People with DPDR usually can achieve "high levels of consciousness" normally. Meditating can be (and was in my case) harmful by making your overall experience even MORE detached from the world.
- Having a negative attitude and/or hating my DPDR state. Accept the state while you're in it, and try to do things you enjoy (without harming others or yourself of course!).
- Spiritual teachers/guidance. This only f***ed up and confused me even more. Spirituality is a touchy subject. Unprovable, sometimes illogical, yet still very important. Understanding the subject is great, I'm totally for it. The problem is that people with DPDR are often weak and confused (mentally), therefore, subject to believing any kind of information.


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## coeus (Jan 11, 2010)

Great notes man. I'll just add a few things or revise something:

I reckon meditation and spirituality have its benefits. It all depends on the methodology behind it. A sense of "higher consciousness" is not what DP/DR sufferers need. I use meditation and spirituality to re-affirm my presence in the actual moment and my surroundings and to reinforce it, not to attain some higher state of consciousness. So perhaps, I deliberately misrepresent spirituality in my mind to gain a better connection to myself and to nature in order to build mental positivity.

Otherwise, rock on!


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## A_Logical_Thinker (Feb 23, 2010)

You have great positive attitude towards this, congrats. I know that my solution to my DP would be like you mentioned- to confront your problems and except them. But for me I'm just not ready. Some things that I went through truly broke my heart; and this void, this dream like state was my escape from the horrors I went through during my life. I can't believe to this day how mean and cruel people can be to others. My mind cracked and I gave up, or rather my mind gave up. I'm trying to relax and see if anything get's better, but nothing probably will. I am no coward, I am just mentally exhausted.


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

Yeah mental exhaustion does cause DPDR. You'll get better man







. YOU ALL WILL!!!
It's funny how I used to hate my DPDR feeling. But now when I smoke weed I get the feeling, but it's just not negative anymore. DPDR is like having a bad weed trip, for a veeery long time lol.
For you people who didn't get DPDR from drugs, well now you know how drugs feel







(sort of). Just imagine the same perspective but with a totally positive vibe, that's a good weed trip.

Enough pot talk. I have to go to sleep. Remember guys, we can see, we can smell, we can feel, we can think. We're most positively real, it's not all a dream. Go do some extreme sports, rough yourself up, maybe get a bruise here or there. You'll "come back" eventually







.

Good luck with your recovery people, I know you can recover if you just have a positive attitude and accept your condition in the present moment, knowing it's not permanent or dangerous. Most importantly, don't fear it.


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## Sarasi3 (Mar 4, 2010)

Great posts nugget! positive yet very helpfull, aka not full of bullshit. thank you. and to everyone out there, keep your head up, stay strong. dont forget to try and relax and enjoy a bit of life while you take the journey to recovery. yes, accept it. and accept it may take time to recover. have confidence in who you are, be proud of yourself. if you need help with any of this, go and get it. see a psych (not just a councillor) if your head is too foggy to see the way out.

look after yourself


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## Interested (Mar 14, 2010)

Well done - glad you got back to enjoying things you used to - hoping that will be the case for me to when I recover! So you did more of a "float" kind of response as opposed to distractions or diversions? Just went with the feelings rather than fight or do distractions etc?


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