# People who RECOVERED from Weed Induced DP-DR? PLEASE READ/RESPOND



## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

Okay so I don't know what the deal with me is but I have somehow relapsed. In December of 2012 I was a stupid fuck and smoked pot. I took 3-4 puffs of a blunt that was being passed around, went walking around for 20minutes or so, came back and this is probably what fucked me up beyond all recognition... took a big ass 60% of a bag inhale of a vaporizer. I was never a drug user really, I smoked pot twice before this. So I had an insane and I mean fucking insane panic attack and things havent been the same since.

So I have some questions because I'd like some serious answers, I don't need the candy coated stuff I feel lots of people write here to pump people up or whatever.

1. To anyone who has recovered from weed induced DP -- is it really fucking gone? and your anxiety and all of your other symptoms have either returned to baseline or left. or are you just ignoring it still and able to live productively? Also for you to live productively are you also working/studying/doing FAR LESS to make sure you don't get remotely anxious because if you do your anxiety will instantly rise, you'll have a panic attack and be back at square one? If that's the case I don't exactly consider that "cured" -- more or less coping and dealing very well. Which is fine, I'm just asking for honesty to see whats really up. I feel like if I cut down on school, etc I could be dealing much better -- but I'd be sacrificing my own ambitions to cope which is unideal :/

2. 3-4 puffs of a blunt and a big ass inhale of a vaporizer in a 20-30minute period. Is that a lot? My friends said I probably smoked like a .7-1g which is a lot. I'm analytical and am wondering if the amount of weed smoked is a factor in how fucked up you get. I can only assume yes.

3. When your DP "left" -- did your anxiety/fatigue and all of that other shit vanish to? Ever since that day I have been tired as hell and my anxiety is 10x worse. My face, eyes, arms, chest and other body parts are literally numb, I mean, they feel like they are on fire. Not numb like I can't feel my emotions -- numb like my face/orbitals/skull/etc feel like they are asleep or burning, that type of numb.

To be honest I don't care much about the stupid dreamy state feel, I know it's a crock of shit. But trying to study when your trying to stay awake/my face is so numb its inducing panic attacks is really hard to deal with.

Here is my ultimate question and I don't care what the answer is, I'm going to work to fix this bullshit no matter what happens but I am genuinely curious:

Do you think that after something like this where you smoke a fuck ton of weed and freak out -- do you think it literally plays with your predisposition and increases the way your body perceives anxiety and its something you cant undo because your predisposition has been triggered and from now on your BASELINE level of anxiety that you ALREADY had is PERMANENTLY increased? Or do you think it just skyrockets your level of anxiety which causes fatigue and all the other symptoms and that in time it can return to baseline with extremely hard work, medication, life alteration, etc.

I was a 3.97 student before this. My academics have suffered, with this relapse I don't know if I'm going to be able to do my semester in September, etc. I'm trying to figure out a gameplan.

If you smoked weed and ended up like me and so many others please chime in, recovered ideally or recovering is sufficient. Also please say HOW you smoked your weed, HOW much weed you smoked, HOW MANY TIMES you have smoked/done drugs, etc.

Just trying to get opinions on a few questions before I go back to not thinking about this stuff again. Its been like 17months and I wasn't doing great but I was making a lot of headway -- this relapse/random panic attack shook me up



My dream is that no permanent damage has been done to my genetic predisposition. If that is possible, I can work my ass off, relax, take time off school and work to chill/destress and then work to get things to baseline. Unfortunately in life though, you can't always get what you want. Feeling that 1 night of stupidity could've potentially ruined a great academic/business/music career is a hard thing to swallow, I'm sure many of you with a great work ethic and big dreams can relate.

Anyways, I just wanted to ask these things before I disappear from reading about this garbage again, I'm already tired of it.

I hope you guys are making good progress, truly, this stuff is unbelievably cruel and very, very saddening for me at times.

Keep smiling though


----------



## GHOST1234 (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey man know how you feel :/ i smoked 2 grams 3 months ago and have this shit 24/7. Bioenergetics helped and since ever first went to therapy 2 weeks ago i feel 50% recovered. I had a huge problem with my eyes and couldnt concentrate on anything without feeling a weird feeling in my head. School was a huge problem for me too because of my anxiety. I only smoked weed like 7 times and was a complete beginner and i wanted to get really high which fucked me up. I had an anxiety disorder before this and wasnt aware that my anxiety could get worse because i didnt feel anoxius for one year before smoking. I still feel tired beacuse im not completely recovered but i feel better. If i didnt play guitar there would be a lot of chance of me giving up on life but its not that bad when you see a little progress.


----------



## Guest (Jun 20, 2014)

This sounds like the weed's triggered your Dp not caused it. The DP's probably been a part of your life, but smoking some pot took you over the edge (probably made you extra anxious) and the dissociation took off. I bet it's been brewing away inside you for years.

Chances of using so little weed in your life will not leave you damaged (apart from a few memories you'd probably rather forget).

Weed makes people dissociate. so if you've got a dissociative disorder it's probably a drug to a avoid huh? In fact most drugs make people dissociate.. that's why people use them in the first place.. to 'escape'. Very popular in our society&#8230; the need to escape judging by the amount of people who indulge. It works fine for normal people but not for dissociative people&#8230;.


----------



## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

You couldn't pay me 5million cash to take another hit of that bullshit. And this stupid disorder is stopping me from making my 5million as well as completing my education. Whatever, I'll have to keep fighting and my 5million will have to get delayed then I guess.

But yes, it's no secret, there was a predisposition for sure and I have undoubtedly had an anxiety disorder my whole life. But what I am experiencing has never been this bad. That's my concern. I hope I can baseline it back to how it was before the day I smoked that garbage -- and I want to be done with panic attacks/senses of panic attack.

Bitches dont like when you have a panic attack when your balls deep. It's not a good look. Feel me?


----------



## Guest (Jun 20, 2014)

Your body and mind is telling you something.. It's telling you it's time to start dealing with past. There's a reason why you've been overly anxious most of your life. Obviously somethings not right, and the DPD strikes when you're ready to start fixing it up. Be grateful in that way, b/c now you can work on this and overcome it.

You've made a good start by recognising something that's going to make you feel worse.. weed. There'll be other triggers inside you too.. like certain tv shows for instance. Start to take note of how different things make you feel. People arguing is another common one...


----------



## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

I've had anxiety since I was like 5 or something. Personally I don't believe too much in the "its the trauma from your past" type rational, I think weed fucks up kids with anxiety disorders, pretty simply. That being said I am going to work to eradicate nearly all forms of anxiety from my life.

That being said, if I keep having panic attacks, it's not because of some past trauma, it's because weed fucked with my brain. It is only logical to think that.


----------



## Guest (Jun 20, 2014)

Andrea44 said:


> Are you out of your mind? there are loads of people with anxiety disorders that have had ZERO childhood trauma. Your theories are extremely outdated.
> 
> When I was 14 I developed panic disorder so severe I had like 20 attacks per day! I couldn't sleep, or swallow food (I kept choking) and my heart would race all day long to the point where I couldn't tolerate standing up. I went to over 7 different therapists, childhood psychiatrist and went to talk therapy, tried breathing exercises, medications, cupping therapy and accupuncture and absolutely nothing would work! I had this condition for no reason. I experienced no childhood trauma, no bullying , no "emotional abuse" from my mother or father - the disorder just struck me and was purely neurological. I had my first episode of DP while in a video store that lasted for no more than an hour... again out of the f*cking blue!


Bugger! Doesn't sound like there's much you can do huh?


----------



## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

bump, where my potheads at. (psyche, im not a pothead, smoked once and got ICED by DP. BRAP BRAP)

lets get some informative posts, no more debates please.


----------



## Guest (Jun 20, 2014)

apoplexy said:


> I've had anxiety since I was like 5 or something. Personally I don't believe too much in the "its the trauma from your past" type rational, I think weed fucks up kids with anxiety disorders, pretty simply. That being said I am going to work to eradicate nearly all forms of anxiety from my life.
> 
> That being said, if I keep having panic attacks, it's not because of some past trauma, it's because weed fucked with my brain. It is only logical to think that.


So what's your problem? You've figured it out already.. Smoking weed 3 times has fucked your brain. It's only logical right? What more do you need to know?


----------



## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

Philos said:


> So what's your problem? You've figured it out already.. Smoking weed 3 times has fucked your brain. It's only logical right? What more do you need to know?


Man, I've only looked at a few threads and you are always in them stirring up trouble. You were even interfering in that thread where that researcher was trying to find test subjects. Cut the shit.


----------



## popdeollie (Nov 10, 2013)

apoplexy said:


> bump, where my potheads at. (psyche, im not a pothead, smoked once and got ICED by DP. BRAP BRAP)
> 
> lets get some informative posts, no more debates please.


You rang? I haven't recovered 100% yet, but I've come a LONG way. I'm going to give it to you straight. No fluff. Let me tell you about myself first so you know where I'm coming from.

My anxiety disorder, like so many others, began with a fucking monstrous, full blown panic attack while I was high. You know what it's like, so I need say no more. It happened about 8 months ago, and I had never experienced anxiety in my life until then. Before that day, I got high 6 days a week, usually twice a day, and not once had a bad experience. I loved getting high so fucking much, and part of me still wishes I could. It felt so goddamn good... anyway, the point is that the weed did not fuck up your brain. It did not fuck up your mind. It's just anxiety. I struggled with that thought for a little while myself, and now it is 100% gone. I no longer have that fear. Also, don't worry about how much you smoked. The way THC works, it binds to neuroreceptors in your brain and causes you to feel high. Once all available receptors are bound, inhaling anymore THC will do nothing to you, because there are no active sites left. It's just metabolized and wasted. This is the reason people build a tolerance to weed. They smoke so much that they don't give their neurons time to metabolize all the THC and return their THC specific receptors to normal, so the weed they smoke produces very diminished effects. I've experienced this first hand. There is a physical limit on how high you can get. You probably bound all your receptors with half a gram or less and just wasted the rest of the weed.

Ok, that paragraph didn't end up how I envisioned, so let me just go through your bullet points.

1. Like I said, I'm not 100% recovered from my anxiety disorder, but my DP is severely diminished. Sometimes it is, honest to god, 100% gone. Most of the time it's like 95% gone, only really noticeable if I give it my attention. Don't think of DP as a thing. "It" is just a symptom of your anxiety disorder. When I still had panic attacks, I would notice that DP was at its worse right after the panic. As I started to have fewer panic attacks, the intensity of my DP went down. It's just another face of anxiety, and it's helpful to think of it that way because you can just throw it into the basket of all your other bullshit symptoms. So, yes, I have experienced prolonged moments where it is really fucking gone. But in those moments, you aren't sitting there thinking, "Holy shit! It's gone!" You are doing something fun and engaging, something that you are passionate about. For me, it's running and obstacle course racing. When I did my first Tough Mudder, I was soooo into it that it wasn't until that evening when I was getting ready to sleep when I thought, "Oh my god, I just had an amazing day and didn't think about DP or bullshit existential thoughts!" I have experienced normalcy, and I am 100% positive that a full recovery is possible.

I had my panic attack less than a month after my last year of undergrad started. I completed a B.A. in Philosophy and had gone back to school for two years to complete some pre-reqs in order to apply to vet school. Yes, I was still smoking weed through my schooling, but I did it responsibly. Anyway, my panic attack struck at the ABSOLUTE WORST FUCKING TIME EVER. I was taking biochem w/ lab, o-chem w/ lab, and physics w/ lab. Those were the last credits I needed for vet school, and the hardest classes I have ever taken. Don't ever take those three classes at once by the way. It's fucking miserable. So not only did I experience literally the worst panic disorder that I can possibly imagine, coupled with the most terrifying and unbelievable sensations of DP/DR, I had to deal with it on top of making it through the hardest academic year I've ever experienced. I had to drive an hour through traffic to get to school, sit through 3 hour lectures back to back on advanced chemistry topics, drive another hour home, do my homework, study for my exams, finish my projects, 5 days a week, all the while having multiple panic attacks a day... let me assure you, it was a fucking nightmare. I had panic attacks on the road to school, then in the middle of my lecture, then in the middle of my next lecture, then in the middle of my lab, then on the way back home, then at home while I'm trying to study... rinse and repeat for the next day. It was the worst. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I don't care who they are or what they've done, no one deserves anxiety. The point here is that I never gave up. I kept doing my thing, and I gradually started to improve, and when I say gradual I really mean slow as fuck. So yes, you can still be productive and recover. In fact, I encourage you to keep living your normal life as long as it keeps you engaged. I will note here that I love chemistry and science, so I was able to enjoy my classes, I just didn't enjoy the anxiety. I still got As though, and I was worried that my anxiety would destroy my hopes of getting accepted to vet school.

If you need to cut down on school/work/whatever, that's fine. But I am proof that you can keep living your life the way you want to and still recover. You are in control.

2. I explained this earlier. Don't worry about how much you smoked. It doesn't matter, because it did not fuck you up.

3. As my feelings of DP began to improve, other anxiety symptoms did not necessarily get better. In fact, some got worse. One of my big symptoms is existential rumination. While I believe these thoughts were caused by my feelings of DP, they quickly took center stage and remained an obstacle even after my DP subsided. I had times where I felt hardly any DP at all, but still had terrible, nasty existential thoughts that caused my head to feel like it was splitting open. I've also experienced the burning, numb feeling you speak of, but usually just in my head. Sometimes my entire head feels like it's on fire.

In regards to your "ultimate question," it's pure bullshit. The fear that your panic attack has permanently altered your predisposition is anxiety playing its tricks on you. Please, PLEASE stop giving that fear any attention. It is not true, and quite frankly, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, biologically speaking. What do you mean by your predisposition? If you mean genetically, then hell no. I see no way for a panic attack to alter your genes, and if it could I would love to read that study. Panic attacks just shock your system. Your body is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, and your nerves take a severe, physical toll. Your body needs to physically recover, and your sensations of DP will subside. The hard part is controlling your thoughts enough to let your body heal, because every time you panic, your body releases more adrenaline and more cortisol and it keeps your nerves frayed and your DP going. The best advice I have heard is to just accept your DP as part of your anxiety. Don't ignore it, don't fight it, accept it. Learn to live with it and it will become less and less of an obstacle until it begins to fade. I speak from experience. You can trust me.

I had a 4.0 before my anxiety, but I ended up getting a B in physics, so my GPA took a small hit because of my anxiety, too. Don't worry about it. I have a year until vet school starts (assuming I get in), and right now I am taking it easy since I just finished a hard ass year of school. I think that living with less stress has been helpful to my recovery, but being less active has been detrimental. If you take a break from school, don't just sit around for a while. Fill your time with something fun and productive. I don't have to go to school or study every day anymore, but that means I have a lot more free time for my mind to wander. Less stress is good, less activity is bad. Do what you feel is right for you, but I will warn you that some days when I have nothing to do, I wish I was still in school.

Please let me repeat. Weed did not fuck you up. All your fears are irrational and untrue. That's what anxiety is. Don't worry about how much you smoked, I've smoked more. Part of a blunt and a vape hit? That is nothing to what I've done. The weed did no permanent damage to you, I promise. Weed did NOTHING to your genetic predisposition. That's impossible, as far as I know. You just have an irrational fear that it did (anxiety!). Seriously, if it relieves any of your worries, I'm not a doctor yet but I've taken advanced genetics and microbiology courses and don't see how it's even possible for smoking weed to affect your genes in the slightest. If it could, you'd probably be more likely to develop cancer than anxiety.

Ok, that was all over the place, but I feel for you dude. Anxiety is the fucking worst, I know, but we will recover. I know it. I can tell that you are intelligent and strong willed. We got this homie.

EDIT: Holy SHIT I didn't realize how much I wrote until I submitted it. Sorry for the wall of text...


----------



## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

Appreciated every word man. Thanks.


----------



## kristikristi65 (Apr 4, 2014)

I got extremely depressed and stopped going to school in march 2012. In June 2012 I was put on Prozac. I thought in the first week I was on it that it would be a fabulous idea to smoke pot. The third time I smoked I had a severe panic attack and started fading in and out and screamed how nothing was real. I blacked out a couple times and saw swirls of colors. After the high was gone I recovered from it and was fine until 2 months later when I suffered my second ever panic attack at a concert because nothing felt real and it felt like I was high again. I recovered about 70% id say until February 2014. I got the stomach bug and was throwing up the whole week and guess what...the symptoms came back and even worse than the first time. I'm still suffering. Been on 9 different meds. This shit sucks. I think u need to seek treatment immediately and not wait like I did. I'm still not in cbt. I'm just on meds. But I am in a better place than I was this February. It just sucks cause u never know what's gonna make u relapse and when. I also haven't taken a hit of weed since that day and I never will again.


----------



## THEDerekHardin (Mar 24, 2014)

I recovered from marijuana-induced DP/DR. I've told how I triggered it hundreds of times but basically, smoked pot for two years, smoked one night, got wayyy too high, freaked out, fell asleep, woke up BAM Depersonalized.

Weed didn't fuck your brain/mind up. You're not in a "perma-trip," you don't have a brain tumor, you haven't permanently damaged your brain. You're fine and nothing will happen to you. It's fear.

It's a thought disorder, nothing else. It took me six months to believe & recover from it. I am 100% recovered, on some rare occasions I feel it for like 10 seconds then it's gone. If you just stop caring so much, you'll see relief slowly but surely.

Like I said, it's a thought disorder. And I know these thoughts can produce such a crazy, disturbing reaction and I know it doesn't make much sense how thoughts could do that. It's all due to a chemical imbalance in your brain, & they will naturally rebalance over time. But only if you give yourself a chance, be patient, & not try to force recovery.

Think of it this way: It's just depersonalization/derealization. You're not going crazy & you're not going to die.. unless you kill yourself, which obviously is never the answer so don't do it. Seriously.

Nothing ever really changes, it's just the way you look at it. And I know what some people are thinking: "6 months? Are you kidding me? I had this for ... years." Well, y'know guys, DP/DR is DP/DR & six months is a pretty damn long time to put up with something like that. But I did it. I beat it.
So you really can, too.

So, short sweet & to the point: Walk through the sensations, I know they're frightening but if you don't it'll just create more worry & anxiety about DP/DR. Don't give it a goddamn inch. Don't fear it. Stop caring so much about it, do what you normally do w/o DP/DR & you'll recover. Simple as that. Wish ya luck man, you can do this.


----------



## Amanda_J (May 3, 2018)

I'm not sure how active this page is anymore, but I am posting here because I know this is one of the forums I read top to bottom when I was really feeling bad. PLEASE READ my post if you have what you describe as weed induced depersonalization because I have been in your shoes! My experience started the first time I tried an edible. I had an absolutely terrible experience, but I thought it would wear off in the days after. Unfortunately, I experienced moments of intense derealization and feelings of confusion. All I could think to myself was that I had permanently damaged my brain and that I was going insane. (Let me tell you, I promise you are not going insane.) I went to a clinical social worker and I told her my story. Here I was telling her my story thinking I would be an abnormal case and like nothing she had heard of before. However, she just nodding her head as if she completely understood. Turns out this is more common than you would think. Also, all of this DP/DR and other symptoms you are feeling have a name and a cause. Now I am not a doctor and I don't claim to know everything about this, but it is very likely that what you are experiencing is not only because of the weed. I found out that I have the underlying problem of panic and anxiety. The clinical social worker told me to buy the book called "Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic: Workbook (Treatments That Work)." Here is the link to the book on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-Anxiety-Panic-Treatments/dp/0195311353. PLEASE IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE, take a look at the free preview/look inside that you can get on amazon. On page 2 you will find an example of a woman named Lisa who has panic. She had an experience with weed, and now has feelings of unreality. THIS IS IN AN ESTABLISHED, MEDICALLY RESEARCHED, PUBLISHED BOOK WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WITH PHD'S AND YEARS OF EXPERIENCE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING. It is a real thing and you can get help. My recommendation is to purchase this book on amazon then immediately call your local therapists office. (It does not matter what gender, race, religion, sexuality, etc. you are, therapy should be and is for EVERYONE). Do not hold back about your experience with the drugs. They should be able to match you with a psychologist/social worker that has experience with these types of cases (because, remember, this is more common than you think). Then, go to your appointment and allow the psychologist to officially evaluate the situation. They will likely be able to put your mind at ease about the entire situation so please please it is in your best interest to seek help. I can tell you I am in the middle of CBT and I am feeling 99% better and "back to normal."

Please know that this is not something that you should just wait out or wait to go away. There are underlying reasons that you are feeling the symptoms that you do. Going to a therapist will help you gain tools and strategies to prevent these feeling and symptoms.

In summary:

1. You are not alone. You are not going crazy.

2. Check out this book for concrete evidence : https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-Anxiety-Panic-Treatments/dp/0195311353

3. Please seek help. A psychologist/social worker will be able to help you gain the tools to manage your panic and anxiety

4. I know it really does not feel like it right now, but take it from me who felt the exact things you are, everything will be okay


----------

