# Think I'm Recovered But Help



## Wantmylifeback

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## Speedy88

There r a lot of cases just like ur who experience the exact same thing. Weed is very common to cause exactly wat I described. I can tell u u r not goin crazy an u r not developing schizophrenia. U wouldn't recognized it if u was going crazy. The fact u r scared of going crazy is a perfect example of anxiety based. The weed triggered all of this but now ur left with anxiety from DP. At least the feelings have gone away which is good. Now ur anxiety is fueling ur obsessive thoughts. Just remember this. It is anxiety finding another way out...through ur thoughts. Exercise!!!! Cardio!!! After relax in a bubble bath an read sumthing or just relax while in the tub. Eventually u will have to quit thinking, talking, reading about ur DP an anxiety or else ur body will know somethin is still wrong cause ur still obsessing about it. Once u learn an understand this ur symptoms will fade away into the background. It's all about spending enough time away from ur problems to give it time to heal. U do this by distraction, relaxation. It will take time it's a slow healing process def not over night trust me. U r seein good days which is the light u been needing to c. Now just keep working at it accepting ur thought but don't study them an try to rationalize them. Just no it's anxiety playing its games. Don't let ur thoughts impress u. If u do ur fearing them an anxiety feeds off fear.


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## Wantmylifeback

Thanks a lot! That makes sense. I just need to get rid of this anxiety and these thoughts and to be honest, I don't know the most effective way of doing that. I have no idea how I even got rid of the feeling of DP. I just went out and lived and acted like I didn't even have DP and the feeling went away. I am still trying to do this but now just the numb feeling is making it hard to keep on doing it. It makes me feel like I'm pretending to be someone else. How would you suggest I get rid of these thoughts? Any CBT techniques or meditation or what that would help? I know I have to distract and change these thoughts but they always come back when I'm alone before sleep. I want them gone entirely. Thanks for the help. I just want to know how to get rid of these!!' And by the way, I know my anxiety is still extremely high because I constantly think there is something wrong with my heart and other organs or I have some type of disease. I know these are false and these thoughts are easier to deal with!


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## Speedy88

I've noticed tht distraction makes DP an anxiety go away. U eventually forget about it. By forgetting about it or not worrying about how u feel it gives u a chance to heal. There is no stress causing anxiety an no sense for DP to b around. U slowly forget about it. I don't no of any CBT tricks. I never used tht or meds. I just no one thing tht helps me is doing cardio then relaxing in a bubble bath after an taking it easy the rest of the night. Bubble bath an reading somthing. If u have trouble with panic attacks or still don't understand anxiety completely there's sumthin u can read tht is helpful just let me no but key is moving on without worry. Not focusing on it. Ur old sel is there. Ur stil healing it may take a few more days, weeks, months. It's not somethin u put a time on cause thts just adding stress. Continue moving forward an always have faith tht god will walk with u every step of the way. Pray wen u feeling down an pray wen ur feeling great. Pray for the strength to get better. Ur doing good an r on ur way to being normal again u will c.


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## heartless

Let me give u a tip that i have learned:

when dp at its pick, u cannot suffer no more and u take steps to free urself such as distraction etc.
it obviously works, and once your condition becomes tolerable u start to neglect again, see no improvement for like 2 weeks, get obsessed about it, then panic, then relapse.

the key, i think, is to keep pushing, even though u feel like only leftovers of dp are left.


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## Wantmylifeback

So are you basically saying that it might not be completely gone and since I see no more improvement for like 2 weeks that I start to think I'm normal, but still feel like something is off? Idk I'm just scared to death I'm getting schizophrenia something just doesn't feel right but the "feelings" of depersonalization don't seem there or maybe they are justice tolerable. I'm just getting so scared again. Man, this sucks. Maybe you can check out my other post about the schizophrenia thing, I really need some rest on that fear.


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## heartless

Again, phantom fear of schizophrenia is common as fuck in this forum. I could have told u all the obvious shit such as "the fear of insanity is a proof of sanity" etc etc, but my experience tells me that this will not calm u down. All i can say is that i have been through that fear, i had a period of 3 weeks of having panic attacks about it, every little noise was enough to scare the shit out of me, because i was frightened that i will not find the physical source of it (so it is just in my head), i would read early symptoms of schizo and then started to "look" for them. Almost like i was preparing for the worst. I even considered taking anti-psychotics because i read that early treatment has better results.

This is all bullshit, created by your evil-ass, crazy bitch motherfucking anxiety.


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## Noooooope

Wantmylifeback said:


> Okay, so I have been following this site for a couple of months, but I am just now a member on here to make this post. Okay, so here is my story. Basically, my DP started 4 months ago after a very traumatic experience with weed. I had taken a caffeine pill right before smoking. Well, I got VERY high. All of a sudden I started feeling like I had stepped outside of my body and I was walking and felt like I was teleporting wherever I walked. For example, I would be on one corner of the room and all of a sudden be on the other corner of the room and had no idea how I got there or remember getting there. I had a terrible panic attack because I was CONVINCED I was dying. I was driven to the hospital and had a heart rate of 160 for 5 hours where they also gave me beta blockers and Ativan. They tested me and the weed was not laced with anything(I questioned this at first.) I woke up the next morning after this and everything seemed extremely weird and fake. I started freaking out so I drove to my girlfriends house. When I got there I had another panic attack and continued to have like 20 panic attacks every day after that until about a month ago. I also originally looked up on the Internet the day after I smoked "high day after smoking" and I came across this fugging website. I diagnosed myself with depersonalization that day. And I wish I never would have googled anything or read this fugging website because I began experiencing suddenly every symptom of depersonalization that I read people have dealt with. I spent 5 to 6 hours a day on this website. Well the past 4 months have been HELL but now I actually feel I have recovered from depersonalization, but things still seem a little weird.
> 
> Before I begin this next part, I will just say my biggest fear ever that I developed about 4 months ago was of getting schizophrenia or any other type of psychosis. Okay, the FEELING of depersonalization is gone, but the thinking is still there. I feel completely real, my surroundings feel completely real, but I have these 24/7 irrational obsessing thoughts like these: "is he feeling is really gone or if I just got used to it" "am I really controlling my body or is someone else" "how do I think naturally" "what if life is just a dream" "what if I'm still depersonalized but don't know it" "are we just electrical impulses in out brain?" and all these existential bullshit thoughts questioning existence and philosophizing about everything. Remember I don't FEEL any of these I just think these thoughts.
> 
> Now, here are some of the things I'm FEELING now that are driving me crazy. I keep having thoughts of "am I really controlling myself" and I keep continuously obsessing about this thought and start to actually feel like I'm not controlling myself, my words, or my actions. I constantly question everything I do. I will walk into a room and question I did that, I will think a thought and question why I had that thought, I will talk and question why I said that. I also feel like Life is so weird now. I feel like I don't know how to live now or how to "think" now or how to just live naturally. After getting over the feeling of depersonalization, I have this extremely numb feeling and can't concentrate. I can't feel ANY emotion. Not sadness not happiness. My girlfriend of 5 years whom I fell in love with could die and I wouldn't feel a thing. I can't connect with anyone emotionally. And lastly, the most disabling feeling of them all, I feel like I have lost myself completely and have absolutely no idea who I am. I feel like I am completely a different person than before all this and I mean completely. This feeling causes me to think I'm still depersonalized and don't know it because I honestly don't feel like I'm "William" when I say my name. I feel like I am someone else. Could this all be depression from the result of going through something so hard as depersonalization? All these feelings and thoughts make me believe I am suffering from some form of psychosis.
> 
> So my questions go out to the recovered, is this just a part of getting back to living normally again? How long will I feel this crap? Could it just be depression? Am I going schizophrenic? Do I just have high anxiety? Am I still experiencing depersonalization? How do you live naturally after experiencing depersonalization which made you feel so disconnected from reality? How do I get over these thoughts???!?!! *most important question. Are the feelings i listed normal? I just need help. I feel if I get over this last lingering crap I will be back to myself.
> 
> If this is all just lingering depression, are there any supplements that you would recommend to help me get through this? I am completely opposed to medication due to a HORRIBLE reaction to taking it which caused DP to worsen. Thanks guys. God bless you all. The same site that I put a little blame for making me obsess over depersonalization is the same site that I now love because of the amazing community on here.


HOLY COW!!!! you explained EVERYTHING- EXACTLY EVERYTHING I FEEL !

now I am also on my 4th month

I question everything I do-/think and this kills me!! I question my thoughts...wtf how the fugg is one supposed to live like this? always asking if one is sane/normal !! agrhrgd.

I think I also feel I am losing some of my emotions- I definetly feel anger and hate about what happened. and my darling makes me laugh sometimes...but I feel so empty- I love him...but i dont know if I feel it?

I don't feel much... just feel.. LOOOST!

ALSO one of the most fking annoying things for me is: When I post my symptoms online- describing how I feel, or when I read other people's symptoms I always question myself "Is this really how I feel or am I making it up"? FARK it kills me.

Lol im insane 

I will PM you- I want to talk to you!

Thanks for posting this, Im glad im not the only one


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## Pie25

Can't help you because i'm in the EXACT same case, no more physical symptoms, but still existential anxiety 24/24 except when i'm really 100% distracted, about the reality of the world and other consciousness, about what i am (im not sure if i'm the one talking or not, moving or not, just like you pretty much, about the "how do i think ? how do the ideas come to my consciousness" aswell).

The best thing i've found for me is video games, i feel 100% distracted on them, though i'm afraid that they bring me even further back from the reality... But that's kinda the only thing that gives me relief.


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## Guest

Maybe you should talk to a psychiatrist who has experience with schizophrenia, he might kill your fear by testing you. I have the same thoughts and fears as you do, too. I will see a psychiatrist, who is specialized in diagnosing early schizophrenia, next week. If she tells me i am not, i will force myself to not think about these symptoms and everything related to schizophrenia. Then i will completely let go, stop questioning everything i experience and do.


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## florent1234

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## florent1234

I've had dp for 1 now, since a hectic pannic attack because I drank a lot and smoked weed. Honestly at the begining I wanted to cry so bad because I thought I lost my mind, always had these existential thoughts who I an really, like the origin of my conscious because I felt so disconnected from my body, I would look at myself in a mirror and be like what the fuck that is me, felt like I had a complete different perspective on the world and myself. I had anxiety during school it was hectic for the fisrt week, but try and get back to your old habbits like for me is playing guitar and watching movies, like do simple stuff and socialise it helps you to not zone out the hole time and get taken back to reality. But obviously you get phases when that dp even if its 24/7 more hectic than others but just remember its your body's way of reacting against anxiety, it will fade. Its only thoughts bro, nothing is wrong with you. Try and have like a heathy life and then you will slowly go back to normal. And you will be able to smoke weed and drink but you will be reasonalble and expeienced. Because your body developed a way of dealing against dp so you a re never gonna feel that same dp you felt once you first got it. Trust me man, and I got mine mianly because of psychedelics and weed between the age of 15 and 17 but the dp oly kicked in hecticely at the age of 18 about 1 month ago, like it was a daily thing, a daily stress, I woke up in the morning and be like fuck still feel the same but eventually you will feel better and better just follow my advice. You will see how happy you will be when its fades away, its like a natural high. Good luck man but remember its not dangerous and your not gonna go crazy even though you feel like it. Peace man


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