# Schizophrenia- anybody else????



## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

I am freaking terrified of getting schizophrenia. My question goes out to everyone, does anyone else have this Terri me fear and continue obsessing about it 24 hours a day. When I lay down and am by myself I keep "hearing" voices in my head. Not like actually hearing a voice like I would in real life but like you would if you were playing a song in your head. Earlier today I was trying to take a nap, and heard what sounded like spongebob screaming, but it wasn't a physical sound, just only in my head like a song. I hope I'm making sense. Developing schizophrenia is my biggest fear ever. Idk if I have really bad ocd or what but I have gotten to the point where I question my own thoughts. I am terrified of my own thoughts. I will think something and question why I thought that, I will walk in a room and question why I walked into the room, I will talk and question why I talked. I do this with absolutely EVERYTHING 24 hours a day every second. It makes me feel like I'm not even controlling myself. I feel like I have no idea who I am and that I am a completely different person than before developing depersonalization. My memory is terrible too. On top of all this, the "feeling" of depersonalization isn't there anymore. Just the thoughts are. I feel like I am still acting though, like I'm not being myself at ALL times even when I am alone. Is this all depersonalization or am I truly going schizophrenic? Help please. I'm desperate. Or could this just be OCD?


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## Guest (Aug 3, 2013)

Hi Wantmylifeback

Have you considered maybe you've got dissociative identity disorder? It's not so uncommon, and it's not to be feared either. It's perfectly natural and organic... just a different way of being that's all.

I've read a lot of posts where people with dp have described hearing voices and often jump to the conclusion it must be schizophrenia, but not often people explore the possibility of d.i.d..?

P


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## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

Not trying to be rude, but there is absolutely no way I have DID. I don't have memory gaps I should have specified that. I just had bad short term memory which tells me I am just deep in thought and have trouble concentrating due to the amount of anxiety I have. I don't feel like I'm in control of my body because of the the intrusive thoughts and my Pure O OCD. I may still have a tiny bit of depersonalization and that's why maybe things don't feel completely real yet and things still seem just a little "off".


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## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

But again the "off" feeling could just be there because I'm not used to living normal again after escaping the feeling of depersonalization. It's like an alcoholic who gets drunk most of the day every day. When they sober up, sober feels "drunk" to them.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

U are not going crazy don't worry I have had these too...i was at a point once where I kept having strange things pop into my head totally random and irrelevant it's Deffinately related to OCD, obsessive self focus & not being able to control your mind.

My advice, learn to see your thoughts as just thoughts they can't scare or hurt u. Type in body scan meditation in YouTube and play the meditation at least twice per day this will help you to get a grip on your mind and to stop the obsessive thoughts a lot quicker. I would also recommend learning to just focus on what you and your body is doing in the present moment.

When your in thought land you are going inward again, so when you notice it redirect your attention on the outside world this will help! You may also want to look into doing some concentration exercises.

But the main thing is u r not going crazy it's just ur mind trying to take control of u and scare u that happens a lot in ppl with DP


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## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

Thank you so much! I will try that meditation. My counselor really thinks I have just bad OCD without the compulsions.


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## Dumdum (Jun 23, 2013)

Hey! I had those voices when i layed down the bed for like 1-2 years, and i didn't had any DP or DR at the time, so dont worry, you're not going crazy.


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## Confusedandtired (Aug 11, 2015)

This sounds very much like OCD. I'll spare you the details but I've experienced many of the same symptoms as yourself, and also have OCD. You also do have compulsions, the very fact that you posted this here was to relieve anxiety and in itself a compulsion. It's just harder to notice what the compulsions are when it's in your head.

It sounds like you have a therapist which is a great start. Getting over it isn't easy but it certainly CAN be done. With the right tools anybody can learn to overcome OCD.


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