# I made a video to talk about my recovery, and my understanding of dp



## Qdr91 (Jan 10, 2017)

I already posted my recovery story couple days ago. I made this video because I felt that there are things I did not mention. hope it helps.


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## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

Thanks!


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## Psychostein (Nov 3, 2016)

I do agree with you, I myself recovered from depersonalisation after overdosing on marijuana. People say "distract yourself" from your thoughts that's now how recovery works. I believe you need to expose yourself to your thoughts become friends with them and see them for what they truely are.

Distraction is temporary you'll eventually have alone time, guess what then? You're fucked. Let the thoughts come and don't run. This is not a pep talk you're not going anywhere if you hide from your thoughts because the mind is everything, what you think you become.

Thank you for the video and welcome to the recovered club


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## 707 (Mar 1, 2017)

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## M1k3y (Sep 19, 2016)

how did u get over the hyper awareness? I have that a lot, i focus on sounds like a mother and it startles me, idk man, this video was sick tho, i could really relate, and i was like this dude is smokin a jay when i got my dp off a j, thats some shit dude, glad ur better, if u can answer my question i would be very greatful


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## M1k3y (Sep 19, 2016)

M1k3y said:


> how did u get over the hyper awareness? I have that a lot, i focus on sounds like a mother and it startles me, idk man, this video was sick tho, i could really relate, and i was like this dude is smokin a jay when i got my dp off a j, thats some shit dude, glad ur better, if u can answer my question i would be very greatful


and were u smoking weed during ur dp phase? do u think that may have helped? maybe with thinking again adn stufF?


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## cl1max (Apr 15, 2017)

Hey Qdr,

I see youre relatively active on recovery forums and I congratulate you on your complete recovery from DPDR (which i believe was drug induced for you). Right at the start of the new year, I developed dpdr after smoking weed. I was a smoker of 5 years, but i guess it was a time of high stress and it was the wrong time to smoke. I guess Im on the recovering aspect. i feel relatively grounded, I Usually recognize myself in the mirror. I see colors as normal. But there is one symptom that drives me absolutely nuts. Its this brain fog, and the lessened ability to concentrate and my eyes almost feel behind. Can you confirm that this goes away? My anxiety is only fueled by the fact that I feel this symptom. Most of my existential thoughts have dissipated. I was a very bright student, but now I feel retarded lol. Thank you and cheers.


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## Qdr91 (Jan 10, 2017)

M1k3y said:


> how did u get over the hyper awareness? I have that a lot, i focus on sounds like a mother and it startles me, idk man, this video was sick tho, i could really relate, and i was like this dude is smokin a jay when i got my dp off a j, thats some shit dude, glad ur better, if u can answer my question i would be very greatful


the hyper-awareness got better and better through time until it completely receded just like the other symptoms. what I was smoking in the video was just normal tobacco, however, I'm smoking weed again without any fear or problems. after about 4 months I tried to smoke weed again, and when I started it was with very small amount just to measure its effects with depersonalization. I also drink coffee again after 6 months of abstinence. beside the changes in beliefs and the philosophy that I developed, everything went back like it was before dp. wish you all the best friend, hope the video helped you somehow.


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## taylorjuliaa (May 5, 2017)

hey thanks for posting this video. your recovery really gives me hope. i also have depersonalization induced from marijuana. did you experience fuzzy vision/visual disturbances and if yes did they completely go away for you?


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## Qdr91 (Jan 10, 2017)

taylorjuliaa said:


> hey thanks for posting this video. your recovery really gives me hope. i also have depersonalization induced from marijuana. did you experience fuzzy vision/visual disturbances and if yes did they completely go away for you?


I had a persistent symptom where images that I see would be stuck in my mind. images would leave a very strong impression in the memory. In some moments when the anxiety was severe, I used to have visual disturbances that are hard to describe, I would think that I saw floating things from the corner of my eyes, but it would be nothing. That one was very disturbing as I thought I'm hallucinating. But right now everything is normal.

the only thing that stays is the perception that you would acquire through dp. I mean a blind man who never saw colors before would never have a concept of it, but he saw it for one time only, he will never unsee it. And would never lose the concept of it. it's not a bad thing, I always have the feeling that I see things that people don't because I'm more aware now.


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## Jayvee23 (May 27, 2017)

I totally understand you and I agree. The only thing that is messing with my head is my addiction to negative thinking. I've always been so negative and anxiety prone but once I got DP everything magnified. I'm thinking about taking some form of medication to take the edge off because my memory has been horrible and I am so used to thinking negative I'll say to myself " okay you're going to be okay blah blah blah" then 10 minutes later I'm thinking I'm schizophrenic it's horrible and my OCD makes it so much worse


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## Flavius (Jun 11, 2016)

I watched all the video and I can relate a lot of things. Still have DPDR, it's not strong as before couple of months but is still there. I also have moments or days when I thought I finally recover myself. Then DP came back again, and that's make me depressed even more.

I have a couple of questions from the opener of post.

Why you think anxiety isn't root of DP but only fueled it?

Does you religious views or exiestential beliefs changed after recovery or are they same as before?

I'm catholic, I loved theology and philosophy, I was always think about why I am here, what is the purpose of life or my destiny etc, and I hadn't any DPDR, I was only depressed and unsatisfaying with my life.


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## username012345 (Feb 7, 2021)

hey! Unfortunately the video is not loading anymore. Could you please upload it again? Thank you so much in advance.


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