# Horrible Unrelenting Panic Attacks



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I have been having massive uncontrollable panic attacks lately. It's hell. I have had them my entire life and, before dp, got to the point where I could control them really well. Then during the worst of my dp everything was so detached and unreal that my fears and phobias all became unreal too and I didn't have an attack for like 2 years. But about a year ago I recovered to the point that my fears became real again and In the past two months I have been having really bad attacks. I can't control them anymore. I give in a start to run around hyperventilating and crying. I shake uncontrollably. Last night I had a massive one and my kids who were upstairs heard it and came down stairs really freaked out asking if I was ok. I just gripped the side of the counter with my eyes shut and told them to go back upstairs.

I don't know what to do. I have not been able to tolerate antidepressants since I've had dp. Since I've been in agony I gave in and tried to go on Prozac and the first dose made my dp significantly worse. I tried 5 htp but after a month on it I was really detached and my hands started going numb. I went to the er two weeks ago and got klonopin but only as a rescue medication during the attacks.

Right now I'm shaking and on the verge of tears from just having had one.

I don't know what to do. Especially since the things used to treat it haven't worked for me with the dp.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

There are other meds you could try, there's buspar ( an anxity med you take every day), benzos are often used for attacks, anti psychotics, beta blockers, alpha blockers. Have you ever tried bio feedback or hypnosis?


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> There are other meds you could try, there's buspar ( an anxity med you take every day), benzos are often used for attacks, anti psychotics, beta blockers, alpha blockers. Have you ever tried bio feedback or hypnosis?


They tried putting me on Buspar at the beginning of my dp and it made me worse. I've tried Prozac, ativan, klonopin, xanax, celexa, seroquil, buspar, neurontin, lamictal, effexor, 5 htp, l-theanine, inositol, fish oil/flax oil, DMAE, and many more.

I was told that I have a liver condition that causes me to be extremely sensitive to medications. I was sensitive before dp and could only ever tolerate prozac for my panic attacks. I tried every anti depressant on the market and all of them gave me horrible side effects. It was either Celexa or Wellbutrin that gave me brief dr. Since dp, anything I take that effects brain chemicals instantly sends me over the edge into intense dp hell. I really REALLY wish that I could tolerate something, anything that would help.

I have been having Panic attacks since I was 9 and no amount of counseling has ever helped. I haven't tried bio feedback or hypnosis but I'm willing to give it a try. I have medicaid so I don't know if they'll cover it.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Medicaid is different in dif states, but my therapist does hypnosis, I also have Medicare, but you should be good. Bio feedback I haven't had success wih with insurance. But there are computer programs and electronic devices you can find to use yourself.

You might ask your dr to give alpha or beta blockers a try, sounds like everything you've tried have been psych meds, blood pressure meds could act differently

one time I went in for a procedure and was totally freaked our abs the docs got delayed and I had to sit in a tiny procedure room hooked up to things without any of my anxiety meds. They had me hooked up to a pulse-ox monitor, where r showed the oxygen going up and down and heart rate on the screen, I was able to use what was on the screen to gety breathing to slow wayy down and control the anxiety. And I'd had no formal bio feedback training.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

That's very interesting. I read up on beta blockers a while back and it sounded like they work much like a benzo in that you take them in anticipation of anxiety and they sedate you short term. Is that correct?


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2012)

I've said elsewhere that one of the main methods I use is Focusing, which has been very useful to me, and I'll describe it to you in the hope that it might be helpful.

First I would lie down, or sit comfortably, you might close your eyes and try to relax as best you can. Try to slow down.
Just allow everything that is going on inside you, all thought's, emotions and feelings to be vague and fuzzy. Don't dig in looking for any specific thing. Let it all merge into a vague, shapeless impression. It's like a overall, bodily sense of everything.
(This approach in itself was a relief to me, because I had always been searching inside for clear answers, which was exhausting and fruitless. This allowed me to stop doing that and just be with that overall, confused sense of everything.)
Be patient and sit with this vague, overall impression. Accept it, and don't judge it or go into it. Move it back abit if it's too strong. Be patient, and after a while you may find that it begins to change, and you feel more comfortable with it. You may find that it merges, becoming more like one thing, and you can be outside of it, not lost within it.
This maybe all you need to do, but after a while you may find that a simple word or short phrase, a "handle", relates to it. Don't rush to do this, and don't try to second guess what that might be. Accept that you do not yet know what it is, otherwise it would not still be so troubling. It could be unexpected. If a handle comes up, and it must be from that sense not your intellect, check it with the sense to see if it's right. If it is, you may find a relief, as something inside is finally recognised and moves. This is called a shift.
Not that long ago I was feeling very aggitated and anxious, and this went on for days. Eventually I sat down and slowed down long enough to let it all merge into an overall sense of how I was. It did so, and it was like this big black cloud hanging over me, except that now I was no longer lost inside of it. It was a separate thing I could be objective about. I sat with it, and the phrase "Need to.." came up. I felt an immediate sense of relief, and I stayed with it to allow it to happen. You might well ask, "Need to what?" The "what" wasn't the issue. There wasn't anything specific I needed to do. it was the sense itself, that I was stuck in this urgent feeling that I needed to be doing _something_.
I felt better afterwards and continued to do so.

I don't know if any of this will prove useful to you, but I hope it helps in some way.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Both blockers have been studied also for ptsd, I've used an alpha blocker foranxiety foryears. Dif ones probably havdifferent half lives, I think mine lasts for a few hours


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## Guest (Oct 11, 2012)

I went through severe panic attacks recently that made me call 999, landed me in A&E, etc etc. Really bad ones that came on out of the blue. They dissipated quite quickly so I will try to explain what I did that made me feel better.
I know it's kind of silly, but when I was doing things, I would say the process in a neutral or positive tone in my head and not say anything else. I would do this especially in situations that made me anxious, but if I didn't say them and went through the process without thinking about it then that was a good thing too. So I'd go upstairs and say "Going up the stairs". I'd go into the kitchen and get a drink and say "Getting a drink"... It basically put me in the moment and distracted me from any negative thoughts I was thinking... Because sometimes I think they can be SO subtle and yet still affect us badly, so practicing the total absence of them helped me.
Also it's good to think about avoidance behaviours. I would take my phone to the toilet with me (I know, don't laugh!) because I was afraid of not having it right next to me anywhere I went, but I realised that this was just me avoiding being alone, so I left the phone downstairs. I noticed I also avoided looking in the mirror in case it triggered my dp, so I made sure I looked in the mirror. Facing what I avoided very much reduced the anxiety of doing those things (After the initial hump where I crap myself doing something out of the ordinary that I fear) - I realise that it's not a necessary fear at all and I keep working at facing what I avoid. I pretty much crammed my world into the size of a couch or bed while I was letting fear rule me and I was terrified of even looking after my basic needs. So I am trying to work my way back up from there.

Phantasm: Did you read a book called Focusing by any chance? (can't remember the author) xD I have it somewhere, it all made logical sense but I just couldn't understand the process. So maybe I should read it some more and see if I can try to find some benefit from it.


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## Guest (Oct 11, 2012)

Hi Delicate, yes that's the book, by Eugene Gendlin.
It clicked with me because, as I said, I was always looking inside for some distinct source of my problems, but when you zoom in on some emotion or memory that's all that's there, and all that tends to happen is that you feel bad again. That's because, in isolation, there is no space or wider context for them to move into, be processed, and be put into perspective. Allowing things to just be fuzzy was a relief, and this overall felt sense acts as a wide mesh which troubled aspects of ourselves can link up with, start to move and be resolved.
I don't know if I've explained that very well, but it's been very effective for me, acting like a kind of Rossetta stone. It may have just been the right approach for me at the right time, but if you do decide to look at it again you can always pm me with any questions, and I'll offer advice If I can.


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## Guest (Oct 11, 2012)

Phantasm said:


> Hi Delicate, yes that's the book, by Eugene Gendlin.
> It clicked with me because, as I said, I was always looking inside for some distinct source of my problems, but when you zoom in on some emotion or memory that's all that's there, and all that tends to happen is that you feel bad again. That's because, in isolation, there is no space or wider context for them to move into, be processed, and be put into perspective. Allowing things to just be fuzzy was a relief, and this overall felt sense acts as a wide mesh which troubled aspects of ourselves can link up with, start to move and be resolved.
> I don't know if I've explained that very well, but it's been very effective for me, acting like a kind of Rossetta stone. It may have just been the right approach for me at the right time, but if you do decide to look at it again you can always pm me with any questions, and I'll offer advice If I can.


Ah yeah, it's all coming back to me now







yes you did explain well, and thank you, I will have a read again and PM if I get stuck


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## Guest (Oct 12, 2012)

Delicate said:


> Ah yeah, it's all coming back to me now
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No problem


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