# Hello there (philosophical warning)



## Stuckagain (Sep 1, 2013)

Hello there

I'm new and I would like to share my story. If you are troubled by philosophical issues, I think it's best not to read any further.

I had episodes of DP/ DR several times in my life. The first time was about a year after my Motherwell became severely ill. I didn't know it was dp until after my last episode which was 8 years ago. At The time my doctor prescribed me an SSRI and that did the trick. I still take a low dose everyday. But one way or another it came back. I suffer from OCD, only recently diagnosed. Looking back on it, I should have realised that I was putting myself in trouble again. I was in a difficult relationship and suddenly my OCD about HIV came back. But I didn't panic. After a couple of months I started to feel some short moments of dp/dr. But last april there was a full blown panic attack and I immediately went to see The doctor and a therapist. My OCD had shifted to another topic. Psychosis. I started checking everything I heard, saw or felt. Then one day I aside myself: I'm constantly checking reality, but what if reality is only one big hallucination in itself. I practically died that day. I started questioning The existance of my lovend ones, my doctor and therapist,..... What if they are not real then no one can make me feel better, no one can help me. I've been living a lie!!!! Those feelings stayed with me during The entire summer. Even though I feel better now and even though I am much more active nowadays, there still are some hard moments, very hard ones. I hope to get some support and recognition here, because I don't want to discuss this with my friends. They might think I'm psychotic. Which I'm not. The doctor and therapist have finally been able to convince me 

Hope to hear from you soon


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## Swansea (Jun 11, 2013)

I have thoughts/ feelings exactly like this. Sometimes I think what if reality is simulated and we are all trapped in some sort of matrix adn we just need to wake up. I think the surreal feelng of DP/DR makes us feel ungrouded and come up with all sorts of anxious ideas about what's happening. Rest assured you are not the only one feeling this way


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

This whole thought process of yours interferes and causes a ripple in the calm tranquil sea of your emotions. What if you didn't have emotions, what of you then? Would you really care if you were hallucinating your existence or not? Would you care if everyone around you was real or not? I don't think so. Take everything for what it is. Feeling upset over something like this is generally a good indication that you and everyone around you is real and independent of your existence. It's ignorant and arrogant to say that you are hallucinating other people.


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## Stuckagain (Sep 1, 2013)

I agree with the fact that it's arrogant to think this way. One day I was sitting on the sofa and thought: who do you think you are: God?
And then got utterly scared because I thought I had become delusional, thinking I was God.


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## Swansea (Jun 11, 2013)

It is totally arrogant but considering the feeling of dp the sheer nature of the experience i think it is quite normal to drift into thoughts like this, no?


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

Of course ^


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## Stuckagain (Sep 1, 2013)

Yes, probably. I've always been a compulsive thinker. Last time the existential thoughts were different. I always manage to find something to obsess about. Unfortunately not about nice things. That's OCD for ya!


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## Stuckagain (Sep 1, 2013)

By The way Swansea, how long have you been experience these feelings?


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