# Dealing with DP/DR for 5 years



## Maddyn (May 4, 2017)

Hello, so I don't really know where to begin with this. I have been a anonymous user of this site for many years. My dp/dr started about 5 years ago, growing up I had many short moments where I felt depersonalised when I looked in the mirror but quickly snapped back to reality and thought nothing off it, when I got older I did not experience it again, I started smoking weed and did not experience dp/dr at all, but one time (not sure what it was) I experienced it and had a major panic attack, I went home and prayed it would go but it wouldn't, I dealt with it for months 24-7 everyday until I forgot about it completely, I'm not sure if I was ever recovered but I literally just forgot about it, so I smoked weed again and once I did I realised what I had done and had another major panic attack and brought back the dp/dr again, I was depressed and wanted to die because of it, BUT I did somewhat make my way to recovery when I started dating my ex boyfriend who is amazing, through all of this we have been on and off (due to me meeting him at such a young age and scared of commitment) but he has been the most supportive and incredible person from day 1, sadly I have not known him without my dp/dr but as I was saying, I would say I was 80% cured, I never thought about my dp/dr and it was managable, I was happy and living my life as I wanted but It was still there, when we broke up I started going out more (clubs) and felt the pressure of doing drugs, so I had done speed a couple of times (very small amounts for the fear of my dp/dr) and the last time I had done it, I had a bad come down and since then I don't know if I have been making it worse or not but my dp/dr has been extremely difficult to deal with for the past 3 weeks, I have a blank mind find it hard to concentrate, memory loss somewhat, days go really fast, and it fucking sucks, I feel as if I'm not in control of my body and obviously everything doesn't feel real! I don't think I've ever cried so much because of this new symptom (mind blankness/mind fog) , I'm so mentally tired and drained, and even through all this my ex has been here every single night because I can't be without him at the moment, and he has been so amazing and supportive I am so lucky I have him by my side being so undestanding, I would really love some recovery stories those are really helping me right now and if anyone has dealt with mind blankness/mind fog does it go?? What are some things that helped you, and so on

Thanks so much


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

As a guy... this post drives me nuts. #friendszone

My x was amazing, I need my x, my x is round the house every night...... Your x is in love with you for god sake and you sure want him around...

Anyway, i'm generally Mr Nice. i'll try flip back *girls*

Unfortunately, once you have DP and especially because you never got rid of it, illegal substances never end well. We have stories here of people out of DP completely letting the guard slip for one night and going straight back into it. So now you've heard it and experienced it, do yourself a favour, don't do it again, as you will recover or at least get to that stage in some amount of years where you'll forget, you'll think you will get away with it.. Anyway right now...

Seems like you may have awoke the beast again. Sounds like you were always susceptible to DP/DR, some people are, I had it as a kid briefly and did not have a name for it at the time, bit like what you said.

You won't get anyone posting you stories to this post, at least I doubt it, that's what the thousands in the recovery story section are for, same goes for specific advice, there is thousands around this board, not being mean, it's just endless. Simply use 'Most Replies' button, 3 main parts Treatment Options (if you want to go down treatments), Recovery Stories (for hope and what helped as well as treatments), Discussion topic for like specific questions such as one I am involved with at the moment that relates to you, where the OP has a Blank Mind topic and I quote another topic of a blank mind user's recovery.

]http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/67994-cant-get-drunk-wtf-or-respond-to-any-other-phychoactive-drugs/page-3#entry4606[Redacted]

This is one of the most popular thread i've seen on DP without medication. This is things that have helped for you...

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/20892-the-holy-grail-of-curing-dpdr/

Now, one on one advice.. i'd gauge my level of anxiety, this is something that comes with practice... maybe just do this *googles*

http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/bin/transfer?req=MTF8Mzg5MHwxODM0MDU1OHwxfDE=&refempt=1495074756.18340558.11

I'd work on lowering it. The tips on lowering it is probably in holy grail / google will tell you good advice, the reason I am skimming this, is you'll asked something that took me a lot of research and would fill pages... And i don't have a set plan, i am just thinking what'd do if i was you right now.

I've got be honest, when I triggered DP, it took many months to not have 24/7 anxiety. This gives you a few options... wait a few months, maybe 3? if you can / want to and see how your DP is... or just go in for the kill and go to the GP?

If you are going to the GP I'd probably go down the anxiety disorder route, explain DP/DR, say you had it as a kid and you had a panic attack and it came back... GP's and the word illegal drugs, usually it's all downhill after that, specialists tend to be different, especially DP specialists of which I know of 1 place in the UK. Saying as you haven't tried any medication, who knows what you might respond to, also saying as it's fresh, maybe it will go back to base level again soon without any.

On the holy grail although I did not read it (again, i have a few times) I believe 2x 15 minute walks a day and distraction are the most important things, you can't have someone come round every night at the same time and just indulge in DP and how terrible it is, maybe at the start, but instead you need to put a movie on (for me that wouldn't be enough distraction) go for a walk as said, I dunno google some recipe of something ridiculous you've never even tried to make and go out to the shop, get the ingredients, spend an hour cooking... basically get out of the i've fucked myself up, i've done it, sit in my room and feel anxious. Crying is a great thing, very healthy, if you need to cry, but basically your x is not coming over for you to cry every night, he should be coming round for you to do something positive. Urgh 4am hard to type but yeah, do something distracting, if you then can't handle it, sure wee cry.

Blank mind to me is a deep state of numb, I know people with depression can also get it, i am surprised you can cry actually.. it should go, but it would be unfair for me to say it does for sure, we have many on this forum suffering from this. I think in time though most to all will get a break through, some naturally, more often than not medication. Sorry there isn't much general information, a blank mind doesn't have a 5 step guide, hopefully yours is short lived. Feel free to PM me if you are looking into medication for it, i've read half the internet on it, but again, no set medication for it that works for everyone...

EDIT: If i was in a panic and going for medication at the start to calm it down (that isn't a benzo), i'd take Mirtazapine, many members on it. Then again, I have little experience considering the 500 odd common medications


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

I think the best you can hope for is that it does go get better again. You should *never* use illegal drugs again, especially no Cannabis and also no tiny doses.

If it remains like this medication treatment might help, but I think at first it would be the best to wait and hope for the best.


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