# The world looks real, but...



## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

It doesn't interest me, i guess you could say. Things look real and normal, and i see there is alot of beauty in the world. just looking at the sky when there is some nice sunlight can be quite beautiful and impactful. And for the rest of the world, the same really......but i can't connect. Honestly, life feels like a joke, a dark sarcastic endless prank. To actually care about something seems so naive and immature. Like why would anyone care about anything at all? It doesn't make sense to me.


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## tfiio (Nov 10, 2016)

because it's fun. because a little good to weigh out the bad is better than nothing but bad. because caring about people or things can change them for the better. because caring about people or things can change you for the better. because pessimism is boring. because if you insist on being alive you might as well live a little. because no matter how little you care you'll get hurt sooner or later anyway so you're not protecting yourself at all. because sometimes caring about things just gets really exciting and cool and it's a really neat thing that people can do. because sometimes a little immaturity is required to get through the day. because if it's a joke you might as well laugh.

there's plenty of ways to make it make sense. if you still choose to view it as nonsensical, that's your choice I suppose. I don't see a good reason to not care about anything ever, though.


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

Pondererer said:


> It doesn't interest me, i guess you could say. Things look real and normal, and i see there is alot of beauty in the world. just looking at the sky when there is some nice sunlight can be quite beautiful and impactful. And for the rest of the world, the same really......but i can't connect. Honestly, life feels like a joke, a dark sarcastic endless prank. To actually care about something seems so naive and immature. Like why would anyone care about anything at all? It doesn't make sense to me.


I've sorta had this feeling with entertainment. I feel like everything is a farce and nothing is original and everything is just pointless and sensationalized and solely for the purpose of self congratulation. It's the feeling like nothing is sincere. But it only lasts for a short while and then I sorta reverse and can get really emotional about something and even cry when I hear a good song. I think my emotions are just completely twisted.


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

I know what you mean. I've become a lot more nihilistic with DP. Not by choice, but I just think "who cares?" about things. I don't have any desire to engage with the world around me, and I don't understand people's deep emotions, whether positive or negative. I see people laughing at the dumbest shit all the time and I think "why?" and I also don't understand empathy or true emotion, but I guess that's pretty common with DP. Last night I was watching this reality/game show on TV, and the contestants were just crying their eyes out at being away from their kids for a few weeks, and all I could feel was contempt and ridicule for them. I hope to one day become more connected again, because right now I just feel like an indifferent spectator to everything.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Chicane said:


> I know what you mean. I've become a lot more nihilistic with DP. Not by choice, but I just think "who cares?" about things. I don't have any desire to engage with the world around me, and I don't understand people's deep emotions, whether positive or negative. I see people laughing at the dumbest shit all the time and I think "why?" and I also don't understand empathy or true emotion, but I guess that's pretty common with DP. Last night I was watching this reality/game show on TV, and the contestants were just crying their eyes out at being away from their kids for a few weeks, and all I could feel was contempt and ridicule for them. I hope to one day become more connected again, because right now I just feel like an indifferent spectator to everything.


I know exactly what you mean. The weird thing is i actually am able to laugh at silly things now. Whether it's my favourite tv-show or a funny youtube video, i'm actually able to genuinly laugh at something. But it's like i laugh for 2-3 seconds, and then it's over.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Billy D.P. said:


> I've sorta had this feeling with entertainment. I feel like everything is a farce and nothing is original and everything is just pointless and sensationalized and solely for the purpose of self congratulation. It's the feeling like nothing is sincere. But it only lasts for a short while and then I sorta reverse and can get really emotional about something and even cry when I hear a good song. I think my emotions are just completely twisted.


i have the same emotional twisting -.-


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

I am now a cycnical realist and couldnt care less whats going on in the world UNLESS it is affecting those less fortunate...

Rich business people are all just misers as far Im concerned......

All politicians are seriously corrupt....

Major sports have now become money making rackets...

Image is everything if you want fame and fortune...

Most modern music stars cant sing or play an instrument...

Humans are destroying the planets eco systems (rainforests, coral reefs etc)

Most people woundnt do s**t for you unless they gain from it themselves...

The news is either completely exaggerated or just plain lies...

If your not seriously wealthy you are just a statistic...

Mental health issues are just brushed under the carpet and frowned upon...

Illicit Drugs are at the heart of nearly all crime....

Im gonna shut up now but thats my cynical realistic rant for the day..........


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## tfiio (Nov 10, 2016)

(just a side note, cynicism and realism are not as synonymous as cynics would have you believe  )


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

eddy1886 said:


> I am now a cycnical realist and couldnt care less whats going on in the world UNLESS it is affecting those less fortunate...
> 
> Rich business people are all just misers as far Im concerned......
> 
> ...


wow, it's quite dark and harsh, and yet i'm completely the same way. Seriously it's like you read my mind.

It's like what keeps me disconected from life, is all these horrible facts about life that my mind CANNOT accept, and therefore i never break free...


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

eddy1886 said:


> I am now a cycnical realist and couldnt care less whats going on in the world UNLESS it is affecting those less fortunate...
> 
> Rich business people are all just misers as far Im concerned......
> 
> ...


Damn...

That's pretty spot on as far as I can tell. I don't think you need DP to believe that!


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Billy D.P. said:


> Damn...
> 
> That's pretty spot on as far as I can tell. I don't think you need DP to believe that!


What DP has done to me is make everything black or white....I have no grey areas anymore...Hence I am a realist now....Honestly if I havent witnessed something with my own two eyes or ears I have absolutely no right to make judgement or comment on it...

I actually think it has come from living with a narcissistic father for years who actually believes his own lies and invents stuff to make himself feel superior...His constant preaching about how amazing at everything he was all his life and how useless I was at everything destroyed my self esteem...Many times my own father called me a useless a******e....Sad but true....The ironic thing is Ive always been a high achiever in everything ive done in life...

Luckily I have regained my self esteem and now can see through his b******t.... I now put him in his place when needs be....Not by shouting and screaming but by quoting whats real and factual to him....

To me people need to walk the walk not just talk the talk....

As the saying goes s**t or get off the pot........

In a way a positive from having DP (and my sober way of life) is that I have now developed an ability to see people for what they really are.....The realist I now am knows better....I now read the book instead of just looking at the cover and thinking thats just a piece of c**p....


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

eddy1886 said:


> What DP has done to me is make everything black or white....I have no grey areas anymore...Hence I am a realist now....Honestly if I havent witnessed something with my own two eyes or ears I have absolutely no right to make judgement or comment on it...
> 
> I actually think it has come from living with a narcissistic father for years who actually believes his own lies and invents stuff to make himself feel superior...His constant preaching about how amazing at everything he was all his life and how useless I was at everything destroyed my self esteem...Many times my own father called me a useless a******e....Sad but true....The ironic thing is Ive always been a high achiever in everything ive done in life...
> 
> ...


That's interesting, I also have a narcissistic father who criticized me more than he loved me growing up. I read somewhere DP has its roots in childhood rejection and I know for me that's certainly true. I've often wondered how many other people here have grown up in dysfunctional households where one of their parents was narcissistic, always put their needs before their child's and critiqued their kid more than loved them.


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## tfiio (Nov 10, 2016)

I think emotional neglect creates a slightly different kind of dp/dr than other types of trauma/abuse/etc just based on the nature of the thing.

also here I am to bring more optimism and sunshine~ people may not always have the best motives ever, but that doesn't make them bad, or even against you. I imagine none of us are "pure" when it comes to why we do what we do. that's no reason to just go "ugh, people are so selfish and shallow" or whatever and see it as so universal that you try to teach others to see it the same way. you can't really know if a person's shallow unless you get to know them, otherwise you're the one that's shallow, haha. people can be kind of blind, and not notice things other people think they should notice. but it seems to me that once they've had those things pointed out in a way they can understand, they'll act accordingly, instead of just discarding anything inconvenient or uninteresting. at least that's what I've seen. I've seen a lot of people trying to be good and just not being taught how.


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