# Bad day :(



## Jodie (Oct 14, 2014)

Ugh i really thought i was on the road to recovery.. Maybe i still am but today.. Things got a little bit deeper. Ive had problems accepting im a human being since having DP.. I no longer feel 'unreal' but i keep having these moments where i really am too aware that i habe a brain and vision.. I zone out to this really fucked up place it really scares me.. Everytime it happens i think its never gunna go away and that ive fucked it.. And then at random times it goes away and im able to just accept things naturally again... Has anyone else felt like this? Im 5 weeks into DP and like i said the unreality feeling as far as being freaked out by my body really seems to be fading but this horrible realisation keeps happening. Ever since DP occured it really made me realise how human i am... And i cant seem to shake this please help  (i wish i could put it into words better but when it happens my mind seems to blank out the worst of it.. Im just left scared with an outline of what happened)


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

I know that feel 

I kinda had a good day, that turned into a guilt tripped one lol


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## Jodie (Oct 14, 2014)

I genuinely feel alone in the way im feeling i scroll through so many different posts of people saying they wonder about why we are here? What is the world? These were all thoughts i had even before i ever experienced DP. Ive always been a deep thinker and fortunately i know a fair bit about evolution and have answered most of those questions with the help of my dad.. These feelings i currently get are purely self existential questions and thats why its scaring me so much.. Yesturday i got to the point where i really thought i had outsmarted my own brain, and yeah thats great being smart.. But i dont want to do this. I dont wanna tear down my natural ability to accept life, but i have. I dont want to realise the depths of my own existence.. Im going to die one day anyway i just wanna enjoy life until that day.. Hopefully things will get back to normal, it was only 2 weeks ago i was feeling DP'd all day everyday.. Now it just comes in waves and 2 days ago i had a full day with no problems... Theres no rational explaination and even google cant answer the questions i ask myself when im at my worst.. Its gotta be fucked up if google doesnt know


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## AusHusky (Aug 18, 2014)

Jodie said:


> Ugh i really thought i was on the road to recovery.. Maybe i still am but today.. Things got a little bit deeper. Ive had problems accepting im a human being since having DP.. I no longer feel 'unreal' but i keep having these moments where i really am too aware that i habe a brain and vision.. I zone out to this really fucked up place it really scares me.. Everytime it happens i think its never gunna go away and that ive fucked it.. And then at random times it goes away and im able to just accept things naturally again... Has anyone else felt like this? Im 5 weeks into DP and like i said the unreality feeling as far as being freaked out by my body really seems to be fading but this horrible realisation keeps happening. Ever since DP occured it really made me realise how human i am... And i cant seem to shake this please help  (i wish i could put it into words better but when it happens my mind seems to blank out the worst of it.. Im just left scared with an outline of what happened)


Distract your self, its hard when you are out doing something. Maybe play on your phone, or watch a comedy movie asap. You will learn its all about distraction, you are overthinking and thats what makes it worse. I know this and i still do it too myself all the time, but slowly i am getting better


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## Irene (Nov 13, 2014)

I sometimes feel as though I'm a hollow she'll of a body...it happens at night most of the time and it freaks me out...This disorder is scary as shit! I can relate...


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## Irene (Nov 13, 2014)

*shell


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## semicharmedlife (Nov 6, 2014)

"I genuinely feel alone in the way im feeling i scroll through so many different posts of people saying they wonder about why we are here? What is the world? These were all thoughts i had even before i ever experienced DP. Ive always been a deep thinker.."

I think I can kind of relate to you.. It's like our brain has a brain of us its own sometimes, and we're too self-aware of our own existence, thoughts, etc. What started my DP/DR was after a panic attack I had while driving.. but the only reason I had a panic attack was because I was in deep deep thought. I think for the first time, I became fully aware that I was the only one in complete charge of my life/body/being, as if the responsibility was too much to handle even though it was always me who was responsible for these actions before. And this scared the crap outta me for some reason because I was operating a vehicle, and knew that if I crashed, it would be MY fault. I almost felt like a robot driving, and it was a 40 minute commute to school that I was used to before all this. So I went into panic, made it to the school and was in full on DP/DR mode. It's like the fact that I was in control of what comes out of my mouth, my thoughts (sometimes), what body parts I want to move, etc. was a terrifying feeling. And I guess my life has never been the same since. Sometimes I wish I could get temporary amnesia before to before this day happened, or my life would still be "normal" again.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Jodie said:


> I genuinely feel alone in the way im feeling i scroll through so many different posts of people saying they wonder about why we are here? What is the world? These were all thoughts i had even before i ever experienced DP. Ive always been a deep thinker and fortunately i know a fair bit about evolution and have answered most of those questions with the help of my dad.. These feelings i currently get are purely self existential questions and thats why its scaring me so much.. Yesturday i got to the point where i really thought i had outsmarted my own brain, and yeah thats great being smart.. But i dont want to do this. I dont wanna tear down my natural ability to accept life, but i have. I dont want to realise the depths of my own existence.. Im going to die one day anyway i just wanna enjoy life until that day.. Hopefully things will get back to normal, it was only 2 weeks ago i was feeling DP'd all day everyday.. Now it just comes in waves and 2 days ago i had a full day with no problems... Theres no rational explaination and even google cant answer the questions i ask myself when im at my worst.. Its gotta be fucked up if google doesnt know


I can totally identify with this...Its energy sapping to have a mind that thinks this way!


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## StandAlone (Jan 22, 2013)

A long time ago at the start of my dp episode, I would go in and out of dp.This sounds sort've similar to what your describing. I was still terrified and clueless of what was happening to me. I wish I knew this now so i could've relaxed, but someone really experienced with this told me that it means your close to recovery. Your body can't totally decide whether your ready to recover, so it just goes in and out of this fucked state.

People have had this for a long time, like myself, so I guess just be happy your having some sort of results. I know your probably mad scared, but you just gotta believe what I said, that your really close to recovery. You will overcome this one day, most important thing is to stop focusing on it, and have the mentality of not giving a fuck how long it takes. Much easier said than done, but i made it on the other side of severe dp before. The feeling is unbelievable, idk if you were into drugs but its like being naturally high on life, you wont ever need to take any again haha. I just remember feeling like i could overcome anything, and nothing could really phase me. Gives you some motivation to keep pushing because when you come out of it you will feel better than you ever have.

Hopefully this helps,

Andrew


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