# Sense of self / Tired mind / Feeling confused / Existential obsessions



## yellow_lamp

Hi everybody!

I've gone through 2+ years of DR nightmare and mostly recovered from it and felt pretty normal during the last year, however, some symptoms of DP started to appear and recently they have become worse.

First one as mentioned in the topic was weird sense of self - I started to have moments when I would lose the feeling of myself, wonder who I am, and what is self. Recently that symptom became worse.

The next thing is that my existential obsessions have worsened, I would start to think about too abstract stuff like that everything is just in our brains, what we see is only interpretation of it, what is consciousness, what is sense of self, how there are many people on earth and they all have sense of self e.t.c... These thoughts are becoming more and more scary to me..

Then I started to have moments when my mind would get somehow tired and thinking becomes very difficult, I can sit without thoughts and stare at one point. Earlier it happened mostly in the evenings after I had lots of conversations and other stuff during the day, but now I can get this even a few hours after I wake up. During these moments I would also often get confused in some strange way.

What now makes it worse is that I've been told by one psychiatrist a couple of months ago, that there is a possibility this is schizophrenia.. And I'm becoming more and more convinced sometimes.

So, thank you for reading my post, sorry if it contains mistakes (i'm not a native English speaker) and I would be grateful to everyone who will respond!


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## Guest

Nothing that you've mentioned sounds like schizophrenia to me, except possibly the last part. It might just be a symptom specific to you.

I've had all the same symptoms at some point during my 6 year DP/DR journey and I'm still completely sane.

Actually, the problem is that we are too sane.

It's completely normal to ask existential questions and is kind of odd that other people don't.

It blows my mind to know that some people will never even think about existence, whereas someone like me has had obsessive existential thoughts since I was 10.

You know the drill.

Exercise, eat well, sleep well and distract yourself.


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## Wingman

Yellow_Lamp

I too have struggled with DP for nearly 6 months now... One of the primary symptoms is that you convince yourself that you have something worse... e.g. scizophrenia, psychosis... But, it is hard for me to believe that a trained therapist would even put the thought that you have scizophrenia into your head.. Often, people that are effected by DP/DR latch onto negative thoughts kind of like OCD and we often just cannot stop thinking about whatever it is that is scaring us.. Instead of accepting that this is reality and what it means to be human.. We dwell.... I think your therapist made a mistake in saying what he or she did.. Those who have scizophrenia often don't even know they do.. It's like only those who have recovered can look back and say wow those were some crazy thoughts, so don't stress!!! Go out tonight and have fun or watch one of your all time favorite movies! Distraction is key 

Hang in there!


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## MoreMeowBell

Yeah I know how you feel, I've been feeling that way a lot lately. Where the mind gets tired and then thinking becomes hard, and then (for me) it's like I can't think at all and my mind is blank, but it has been like that for a while now- I rarely have days when I can manage to turn my brain "on" and start thinking more. I wish I could offer advice, but I'm working on it too. You're not alone!


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## yellow_lamp

Thank you for your replies.

Today I found this article http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2632406/"The Phenomenological Critique and Self-disturbance: Implications for Ultra-High Risk ("Prodrome") Research"

As stated there, self-disturbance and existential preoccupation is a sign that a person is at ultra-high risk of developing schizophrenia. That explains a lot. Kinda sad...


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## katiej

u dont just develop schizophrenia for no reason. u have to either have it in your family or u were going to get it anyway. dp dr does not lead to this. it is nothing remotely like it.


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## Wingman

I think that the paper you have linked is absolutely incorrect. Scizophrenia is an immediate onset. There is no anxiety, depression, or whatever as an underyling cause... DPDR and existential thoughts is due to the fact that you have lost your sense of self. Your brain is trying to figure out what works for you.. You are at a loss and your brain is in shock. You aren't hearing voices, or seeing things...... (scizophrenia)... So, I think the validity of that paper is in question... And it totally contradicts everything and research that I have read...


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## yellow_lamp

Wingman said:


> I think that the paper you have linked is absolutely incorrect. Scizophrenia is an immediate onset. There is no anxiety, depression, or whatever as an underyling cause... DPDR and existential thoughts is due to the fact that you have lost your sense of self. Your brain is trying to figure out what works for you.. You are at a loss and your brain is in shock. You aren't hearing voices, or seeing things...... (scizophrenia)... So, I think the validity of that paper is in question... And it totally contradicts everything and research that I have read...


Hi! Firstly, I can't find any reason not to trust this paper, this website seems pretty reliable. Secondly, schizophrenia is not always immediate. Usually it starts with a prodrome and has different symptoms (and depression is one of them)

.

My problem is that I don't experience classic DP symptoms like feeling disconnected from my body or seeing through glass, but instead I feel like there is no persona inside me.

As an example, today I was standing in a queue in the market and suddenly felt like there is no me, but only surroundings, like my self disappeared. I also can feel like my voice is somehow not connected with me, like that's not me who is speaking. Also sometimes in the morning its hard to wake up because I don't feel that there is someone inside me who needs to wake up and do stuff...


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## yellow_lamp

yellow_lamp said:


> Thank you for your replies.
> 
> Today I found this article http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2632406/"The Phenomenological Critique and Self-disturbance: Implications for Ultra-High Risk ("Prodrome") Research"
> 
> As stated there, self-disturbance and existential preoccupation is a sign that a person is at ultra-high risk of developing schizophrenia. That explains a lot. Kinda sad...


I'm sorry, after rereading an article more carefully, I understood that I've made a wrong conclusion. It was actually about the people who are already in the ultra-high risk category, and that self-distrurbance makes their chances much higher.

That actually brings a little relief, but still these symptoms are frightening me.


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## Wingman

yellow_lamp said:


> Hi! Firstly, I can't find any reason not to trust this paper, this website seems pretty reliable. Secondly, schizophrenia is not always immediate. Usually it starts with a prodrome and has different symptoms (and depression is one of them)
> 
> .
> 
> My problem is that I don't experience classic DP symptoms like feeling disconnected from my body or seeing through glass, but instead I feel like there is no persona inside me.
> 
> As an example, today I was standing in a queue in the market and suddenly felt like there is no me, but only surroundings, like my self disappeared. I also can feel like my voice is somehow not connected with me, like that's not me who is speaking. Also sometimes in the morning its hard to wake up because I don't feel that there is someone inside me who needs to wake up and do stuff...


I just have read that the feeling of losing yourself is a classic symptom of DP.. And Scizophrenia is like the person really doesn't know they are crazy.. Like the fact that you are aware that your sense of self is missing is only confirmation that your self is there.. Sorry, hope I am making sense for ya.. That disassocation or seperation is common in DPDR.. I mean if you read most of the posts and forums on here, most people describe something similiar.


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## RobGlee

yellow_lamp said:


> What now makes it worse is that I've been told by one psychiatrist a couple of months ago, that there is a possibility this is schizophrenia.. And I'm becoming more and more convinced sometimes.
> 
> So, thank you for reading my post, sorry if it contains mistakes (i'm not a native English speaker) and I would be grateful to everyone who will respond!


I don't think you have schizophrenia, but I'm no psychiatrist. I've recently found that exercising every day for an hour to be wonderful at clearing my mind and I have cut out all junk food and only eat healthy nutritious stuff. It's amazing how many chemicals food made in a factory contains.

I've also been taking a marine phytoplankton supplement which is one of the most powerful super foods known to man and I've been feeling a lot better lately. Much happier. I hope everything goes well for you.


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## yellow_lamp

RobGlee said:


> I don't think you have schizophrenia, but I'm no psychiatrist. I can tell you that my story is similar to yours yellow_lamp. I've recently found that exercising every day for an hour to be wonderful at clearing my mind and I have cut out all junk food and only eat healthy nutritious stuff. It's amazing how many chemicals food made in a factory contains.
> 
> I've also been taking a marine phytoplankton supplement which is one of the most powerful super foods known to man and I've been feeling a lot better lately. Much happier. I hope everything goes well for you.


Hi! Thanks for your reply!
I'm also now thinking that its not likely that I have it. Im now feeling better, but for a couple of months I was really terrified. Imagine how I felt when I was told by psychiatrist (who is considered quite good in my country) that I may have it. I could spend days reading about prodromal symptoms, lol. And I even started to have some quite specific ones (or at least I was thinking so). In fact, I was cognitively so low I scored 5 out of 10 in my math test, while I've always been among the best students in my country.
Now I'm working with another therapist, who at least is a man (that previous who was woman made me a bit sexist lol). I'm also taking Zoloft. these things seem to be helping. But this experience still has left me with plenty of crazy thoughts and knowledge of nearly all schizophrenia symptoms 
And yes! Last year I was also exercising, that certainly helped a lot. It actually makes you feel your life instead of thinking about it, it also made me more confident and less anxious. I think that's the reason I was quite stable last year. I haven't heard about the supplement you mentioned, but I'll check it. Thanks!


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## Saschasascha

Hello, yellow-lamp 

have you ever been checked for OCD? I know that OCD- like symptoms are very common in DP, but I also guess that for a few DPDlers OCD is the root problem and DP is just a by-product, a symptom. Because all of your thoughts are very familar to me and for me the OCD was the main problem. I treated the OCD, the DP disappeared.

Sascha

,


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## yellow_lamp

Saschasascha said:


> Hello, yellow-lamp
> 
> have you ever been checked for OCD? I know that OCD- like symptoms are very common in DP, but I also guess that for a few DPDlers OCD is the root problem and DP is just a by-product, a symptom. Because all of your thoughts are very familar to me and for me the OCD was the main problem. I treated the OCD, the DP disappeared.
> 
> Sascha
> 
> ,


Hi!

I'm not sure whether I have OCD, actually I don't fully understand what's the difference with anxiety, but I of course have quite obsessive mind. Actually before I got my DR (it was from smoking spice, I guess I haven't mentioned) I had one traumatizing event which made me obsess a lot. So it also can be one of the roots. Yeah, and by nature I'm quite emotional and sensitive person, I guess as many of us here.

I'll send you PM about your OCD if you don't mind. Thanks!


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## ClaireEllison

What now exacerbates it is that I've been told by one therapist two or three months back, that there is a plausibility this is schizophrenia.. What's more, I'm turning out to be increasingly persuaded in some cases.

Along these lines, thank you for perusing my post, too bad on the off chance that it contains mix-ups (i'm not a local English speaker) and I would be appreciative to everybody who will react!

I don't think you have schizophrenia, however I'm no specialist. I've as of late observed that practicing each day for 60 minutes to be superb at clearing my psyche and I have removed all garbage sustenance and just eat sound nutritious stuff. It's stunning what number of chemicals sustenance made in an industrial facility contains.

I've additionally been taking a marine phytoplankton supplement which is a standout amongst the most capable super sustenances known to man and I've been feeling a considerable measure better of late. Much more joyful. I seek everything goes well after you.


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## Pondererer

yellow_lamp said:


> Hi everybody!
> 
> I've gone through 2+ years of DR nightmare and mostly recovered from it and felt pretty normal during the last year, however, some symptoms of DP started to appear and recently they have become worse.
> 
> First one as mentioned in the topic was weird sense of self - I started to have moments when I would lose the feeling of myself, wonder who I am, and what is self. Recently that symptom became worse.
> 
> The next thing is that my existential obsessions have worsened, I would start to think about too abstract stuff like that everything is just in our brains, what we see is only interpretation of it, what is consciousness, what is sense of self, how there are many people on earth and they all have sense of self e.t.c... These thoughts are becoming more and more scary to me..
> 
> Then I started to have moments when my mind would get somehow tired and thinking becomes very difficult, I can sit without thoughts and stare at one point. Earlier it happened mostly in the evenings after I had lots of conversations and other stuff during the day, but now I can get this even a few hours after I wake up. During these moments I would also often get confused in some strange way.
> 
> What now makes it worse is that I've been told by one psychiatrist a couple of months ago, that there is a possibility this is schizophrenia.. And I'm becoming more and more convinced sometimes.
> 
> So, thank you for reading my post, sorry if it contains mistakes (i'm not a native English speaker) and I would be grateful to everyone who will respond!


Why does everyone think it has something to do with schizo? Do you hear voices that other people don't hear? do you see things other people can't? because that is being schizo


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## MichaelTheAnhedonic

Pondererer said:


> Why does everyone think it has something to do with schizo? Do you hear voices that other people don't hear? do you see things other people can't? because that is being schizo


Cuz there's schizophrenia without positive symptoms (hallucinations etc). It's extremely rare.


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## TDX

> Cuz there's schizophrenia without positive symptoms (hallucinations etc). It's extremely rare.


Negative symptoms alone do not satify the diagnostic criteria of schizophrenia.


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## RichUK

If you had schizophrenia for a start you wouldnt even be posting on this site as you would think there was nothing wrong with you.

People with Psychosis generally dont seek help as their delusions seem completely real and unquestionable, the fact you are questioning there is something wrong with your head pretty much proves you dont have psychosis.

You are suffering from an anxiety disorder and your brain is trying to zone you out to try and reduce the anxiety, unfortunatly its having the wrong effect and making you more anxoius, but it will resolve and you will get over this, just keep going and try and accept it (i know this is easier said than done) but dont try and fight against it as that will just feed it.

Rich


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## revuptheglory

Hey, just want to say I relate to everything you said from the exstiental part to the paranoia about going crazy. I was so bad last year that I failed all my finals and almost had to retake my classes.. I still have it today but I've been able to function. I just did a music gig about 2 weeks ago and nailed it! I'm still attaching to the exestiantal stuff sort of but almost voluntarily because it gives me such a big picture out look on things compared to peers. 
Sorry if this is unsolicited but I found that journaling, exercising at least 10 minutes every day, and changing my diet to gluten free has been awesome at alleviating the symptoms. The diet especially worked quick, within the first 3 days I was already feeling clearer and lighter. Meditating works sometimes too if I can keep with it. I've come a long way man from what I use to be, Try to work through this instead of against it get the mindset of it is what it is. Any problem has its solution! Just chill out and trust you'll get through it again


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