# Losing touch with Existentialism



## Guest

Many of you seem to be hung up on the "superficial" aspects of life. I am in a constant state of living on a higher plain. This is the kind of state people can get through transcendental meditation; eyes closed, sitting in a dark room.

I have achieved this state, yet it will not going away. I am thinking about the mysteries of the universe in EVERY situation.

So i've landed in this permanant trip of existential madness and i'm struggling to contain its fury. Its difficult for me to accept this state much of the time because I do not believe in god. Does anyone else find themselves in this constant struggle to understand the meaning of life? I love philosophy but its pretty much become the only aspect of my life lately. How the hell to I turn it off and start worrying about trivial crap like the rest of you?


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## peacedove

I am also thinking about the mysteries of the universe constantly and cannot stop... but somehow I'm able to worry about trivial things at the same time.


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## Phill

i too have been thinking about many mysteries and answers to questions that seem to be way beyond my understanding. Especially lately. 
Wouldn't it be something different if God let me in on things that no one else has been let in on before? My head would probably blow off my shoulders.


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## falling_free

I also feel like I am stuck in a constant almost meditative state a lot of the time, almost a trance, where my mind is thinking in really massive terms, in terms of the universe the meaining of exsistence etc etc, and sometimes I expierience what I spose could be seen as some kind of enlightned state , often when I am just on the brink of sleep or when Im half awake or asleep but I don't really remember why I get this sense of enlighment in the first place! In a way though I feel kind of priveliged to have achieved these states of mind and to have taken a glimpse at the true nature of theuniverse, but in another way I feel disconnected and lost because of these moments of calrity that can't really be put into words because of the complex nature of these so called insights, if insights are what they are (though it could just be my mind playing tricks on me), This kind of experience I think is related to some thing i read about a greek legend where people would see the face of the greek god pan and would learn all the secrets of the universe , but that this knowledge would drive the person insane because it is too much infomation for one mind to take, and this is story is actually the origin of the word panic.


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## Guest

I'm also trapped in philosopher mode. Like you I used to be an atheist and even then was always pondering the Big Questions. Now that I believe in God it's even worse.

Strange we're trapped in a state people strive to attain, but it doesn't give us peace. Aren't the Buddhists who reach a transcendental 
state in peaceful bliss? Maybe we're in the darker version of transcendence.

If you want to preoccupy yourself with triviality, TV is a good place to start.


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## Guest

Heh. Recently i've been trying not to think at all. This entire day i've been drunk and just trying to maintain a pure state of just thinking abosolutly nothing. So far its really worked...although i'm drunk...i need to continue this experiment in a controlled environment.

Existential thought + God = bad. Life in general is seriously a lot of pain and suffering. Its hard to realize this, due to the prosperity of our times and the relative wealth of my own country but by far the majority of human lives to have exited to this point in time have gone through insurmountable harship. This FACT paired with the whole god thing is not a great one to ponder. In other words....god is evil......sorry!


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## falling_free

> Strange we're trapped in a state people strive to attain, Aren't the Buddhists who reach a transcendental
> state in peaceful bliss? Maybe we're in the darker version of transcendence.


I think in some ways we have achieved this transecendental state but I would think for the majority of dp/dr sufferers this state is not joyful or pleasurble in the slightest becasue it is not a state that they have wantesd to achieve, though in my personal expiereince I kind of did want to reach some kind of higher level of understanding and this is going to sound very stupid but sometimes i actually enjoy the sepreatness I feel from the rest of reailty, like reality is a bubble and I exsist outside this bubble, I do sometimes however feel like I just want to feel normal and feel like I have a normal soul again, not this exsitential exsistence that I now have to live with



> Existential thought + God = bad. Life in general is seriously a lot of pain and suffering. Its hard to realize this, due to the prosperity of our times and the relative wealth of my own country but by far the majority of human lives to have exited to this point in time have gone through insurmountable harship. This FACT paired with the whole god thing is not a great one to ponder. In other words....god is evil......sorry!


This is my main belief to god not being a morale or judgemental being or force, seriously I think god doesn't care what a person does, it just the human mind which brackets things in the good and bad category accoring to social and morale reasons, and also so that certain people and orgainsations can stay in control or weild power eg the church, I mean it would take a lot to convince me that god actually cares about how we go about are lives and what we choose to do with our lives, and so far the only proof that god actually takes a morale stance of things is the bible and I lot of the stuff in the bible can be interated in a lot of different ways, much like I can interperate any book I read in several different ways, so people saying but the bible says this in support of certain morales and stances I think is the wrong attitude to say, but whatever I spose humans are always going to argue about meaning , what god thinks etc etc.in the end though I really believe that exsistence is just a subjective expierience for the individual and that we are infinite just as the universe is infinite and expaniding outwards in all directions, to me god is just the force that holds everything together , he doesn'tcare if you steal from some person.


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## Guest

Beware the drunk philosopher! LOL. And it doesn't even affect your spelling too much... impressive.



falling_free said:


> This is my main belief to god not being a morale or judgemental being or force, seriously I think god doesn't care what a person does, it just the human mind which brackets things in the good and bad category accoring to social and morale reasons, ... I really believe that exsistence is just a subjective expierience for the individual and that we are infinite just as the universe is infinite and expaniding outwards in all directions, to me god is just the force that holds everything together , he doesn'tcare if you steal from some person.


This is very close to the Hindu concept of God, if I'm not mistaken. Everytime I take the Beliefomatic test it tells me I'm Hindu.


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## falling_free

I think a lot of my philosephy on god may have been influenced a bit by hindu thought as I got a book about how souls can attain entrance to higher planes and other planets by being yogis or practising yoga and mental disicpline, all sounded really cool really even though I don't think I would be able to dedicate mmyslef enough to achieve a yogis wisdom and knowledge etc etc, that said however i don't really bealieve that god comes down to earth in various incarnations or forms, but I think I am coming round to the belif that people can achieve a state of couciousness (like the yogis, buddihst monks) which could be said to be near or close to a full understanding of the god, or infinite life force of the universe.


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## Martinelv

Hmmmm.....and hmmmmm again.

The concept of 'god' is a consequence of intelligence. Nothing else. It's an idea...an attempt at an answer to the questions that, probably, don't have one...and that scares a lot of people shitless so they either, at one end of the scale - flatly refuse to believe that there isn't a god and live a blissfully yet ignorant (remember - ignorance is bliss, DISCLAIMER etc) life, or dream up some god-nature-quantum-asian 'philosophy' to satisfy both their intelligence and their fear, with the added benefit that they can then justify shaving one side of their head, having henna tattoo's, filling their houses with all sorts of eastern mystical trinkets and stinking of incense. I can see the appeal.

Yet others accept that there is probably no god, the universe is utterly pityless to our fate, and come to the understanding that there is no 'purpose' other than the one we make for ourselves.


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## jc

good to have you back martin...and a very good response,you dont see me much in this section of the board for the following reason

you really do NEED to make up your minds what you are going to believe in otherwise from what im reading from this thread it sounds as though most of you are keeping yourselves in an immense state of anxiety by questioning aspects of exsistance and religion...you need to question it sure! im not doubting that,ive done exactly the same thing and threw my mind into turmoil then i just made my own mind up as to which way to look at this issue..
i sleep, i wake, i live...but most importantly I DONT KNOW so if i dont know if there is a god or a higher being then why should i waste my time....i see it this way,as long as im a decent person and i dont kill anyone then im happy,but also if you make up your mind there is a god and it brings you peace,good for you ! but dont keep questioning these issues on a constant basis,you really do need to make your mind up and then carry on living,its a waste of time and energy

in my oppinion


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## Martinelv

Agreed JC. That's why I've always been against having Spiritual (Not religious) forums on Mental Health sites. It's like waving a glass of beer in front of an alcoholic.

It's a natural consequence of DR/DP that we question reality and so forth, and a natural consequence of developing as a human being...but for the mentally ill I strongly suggest that they delay this obsessive reasoning until they get better. The problem with obsessive rumination is that it's not the content of the obsession that matters, it's the obsessing itself! Believe me - when I was chronically DR'd, I'd obsess constantly (thus feeding the problem) about life, god, the universe...and when I thought I'd arrived at a conclusion, WHAM - another obsession came along to fill the gap.


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## Guest

My head over-loads with religious/spiritual understanding too...

I think the "floating" nature can access it, as dark, mundane non-DP people cant "see" the clouds.

I agree that the Yogi, buddist enlightenment of DP is eerie. I cant see how anxiety cant be part of an adrenaline state.

DP seems euphoric too, which is confusing because it contradicts the underlying depression (There is depression underlying ALL mental health problems), euphoria and adrenaline and floatiness would "put you there" I guess. I figure out alot of things and stretch to far away places that no-one else can reach, but my memory is so bad that it doesn't really matter. Floating above everyone else, makes you ALIEN to them. And being alien agitates others and makes them think you are crazy.


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## ahriman

An individual with DP exhibits many of the symptoms of somebody suffering PTSD. I should know, since I've been in both places. After a severe accident during my senior year of high school, I found myself obssessing over the meaning of life and the meaning of death, along with the physical distortions associated with DP. I felt dead on my feet, but slowly recovered my "normal" sense of things. The intense questioning never left me, though. In fact, it grew more refined. My search became a spiritual one, though it was something I didn't associate with being religious. I've never been religious, never agreed with the principle. To make a very long story short, I had an "opening" that I cannot describe as anything other than spiritual. This intense period lasted two months. This experience came after what was probably the most grounded periods of my life. I'd never been happier. I've never been diagnosed with any psychological disorders, so I have to cancel out mania, certainly since the change was upon me instantaneously. 
Abruptly, this came crashing to a halt and left me feeling like a dry husk blowing around the floor of an abyssal desert. Looking back, I was immersed in DP. I again recognized that post accident experience. This time though, I didn't recover my senses after a few months. Seven years later, I am still coming to terms with this state. I have reached some conclusions about it that won't sit well with many on this board, though for me it has helped immensely to see this from a perspective informed by my own observation rather than the "expert" analysis of some MD. 
I have to go, but will bring more details forward if interested. I'm not preaching to anyone, just telling my story.


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## Byrde

:wink:


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## Phill

[quote name="Byrde"]
So my fellow amigo's, realise that the world which you attend to has been written about since before chirst, in fact for 500B.C. is my earliest date of learning about appearance/reality.

Before Abraham was, I AM.
Jesus Christ.


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## Guest

I'm so glad I'm not the only person out there that has done this. What a lonely feeling - it always gets my at night, on my own in bed, in the dark - how pleasant to ponder death, heaven/hell, why am I here, etc etc while trying to sleep.

Has anyone found a way of dealing with this?

I'm still glad I'm not the only one thats had this. This is when I truely start to think I have lost the plot completely.


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