# Can't see a light anymore



## novahcaine (Mar 31, 2018)

Hello everyone.

As I'm typing this, basically I feel like my body is numb/can't respond to touch properly. I feel cold, but touch and sensations feel very dull and far away.

I cannot feel much emotionally, but it's really the physical symptoms that are pushing me to feeling hopeless. It's been about a week-ish now since it began roughly. I'm not sure if it was just that I was over stressed and my mind couldn't take it anymore or what.

Initially, I had thought somehow smoking cigarettes (I stopped a little after I started feeling these things) somehow ruined my nerves or it was something to do with somehow having a neuropathy of sorts. Since before when trying to sleep I would get pain in my arms, but now everything has been replaced pretty much with a ghostly, depressing numbness.

Clothes feel weird, I can't feel hot and cold sensations properly it seems. I went to 3 separate doctors and all said it was depression/anxiety and gave me Ativan and an anti-depressant.

So...I'm kind of at a huge loss. I'm beginning to give up hope more and more. Waking up every morning to wondering if it will be gone or not. Still checking and I still have it. Jealous of others that are leading seemingly normal lives and can actually "feel" things.

So yeah...I don't know if this "loss" of physical sensation and most touch feelings is DP/DR related or if it is anxiety/Major Depressive Disorder. It feels like it came on so quickly. And like every time I touch my skin, it's like I'm dead and can't feel the top layer of skin.

I keep wanting to go to doctors and have them check or refer me to a neurologist because I feel like if it is something bad, I'm just wasting time...

I'm terrified I will be like this forever.

Thanks for reading...

So yeah...sorry about the long rant. These are how things are going for me right now.


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## Garnet_B (Feb 4, 2018)

I do believe you could be suffering symptom's of DP and would strongly recommend bringing DP up with your doctor as it's best to nip these things in the butt. In the meantime I'll recommend you try a few things that help me personally. The big one is "Don't feed into it!" Don't think about it, Don't give DP the light of day. DP is a state of constant anxiety that loves attention, it thrives off it, the less you give it the better, I know first hand how hard it can be at times to do so but just accept it, continue living your life. I also strongly recommend cutting out caffeine and going for walks or any light exercise really. I hope what I've said helps you out and i'm sorry your're feeling this way. All the best.


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## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

Hi hun, I have messaged you back. This is one of my worst symptoms and it can be scary, but my best advice is do not feed it by worrying, the less you care the more it goes.

I understand how hard this can be, I'm a year in but I just dont give af what dp does to me anymore. The numbness can get full on, I was in bed a few months ago and my whole body went numb, it was horrible, I would lay in bed crying non stop, have you heard of an epidural? You're given it when you give birth, it makes you numb, thats how it felt for me, but I just kind of stopped paying attention and its got alot better. Honeslty hun you have to learn to past care with it, worry is a feeder xxxxx


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## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

Your symptoms are what I had hun. Honestly don't worry, anxiety likes to manifest into all sorts of things. For six months straight I felt like I had a golf ball lodged in my throat, I evem lost 2st because I literally felt like I couldnt swallow, dr kept saying it was anxiety and I was adament it was not, then one day out the blue, it vanished, same with this hun, it just goes one day. My numbness is about 70 percent better since I stopped giving a shit hahah xxx


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## novahcaine (Mar 31, 2018)

Yeah I get that, and have been trying to just ignore the numbness. But even last night I banged my knee so hard against a huge speaker and it hardly hurt. Next morning there's a huge blue bruise where it hit. I want taste anything hardly. My mouth is always numb and very dry. My tongue burns, and I don't have an appetite at all. My sleep is horrible...maybe 3-4 hours a night tops. I literally can touch my arm and can slightly feel it with my hand but can't feel my arm. Its scary... I also guess I'm still experiencing dp/dr with this and it's making it worse. It seems to just be getting worse overall and I'm just getting more numb. I could probably hurt myself had and hardly feel it. In scared I'll never be how I was before..And that this is just my new depressing reality... I feel hopeless and wake up every morning scared and anxiety ridden because this numbness isn't passing.


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## novahcaine (Mar 31, 2018)

I'm scared if I ignore this it's only going to get worse, and worse and cause permanent damage.


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## DPFighter (Apr 8, 2013)

novahcaine said:


> I'm scared if I ignore this it's only going to get worse, and worse and cause permanent damage.


I have this numbness symptom too it is my most prominent symptom. For me stress and anxiety make it worse so addressing that first is a good idea. All I can tell you is mine doesn't get worse unless I get really stressed but soon after it goes back to the way it was. It sounds like you you are under an enormous amount of distress right now and reducing that is the first thing that will help the numbness. You could go running, eat healthy, take vitamins, try melatonin or another sleep aid, distract yourself with anything, play a computer game, talk to someone, watch something funny on tv, drink some wine, meditate, whatever works. Also depersonalization is not known as a brain damaging condition rather a condition that causes brain dysfunction in certain areas. So if the dysfunction is corrected the depersonalization will resolve and sometimes all that takes is going easy on yourself, living a healthy lifestyle, and not letting the dp/dr dictate your life. For others it means therapy if you had childhood trauma or emotional abuse by parents and for others it is a matter of trial and error with medications. One thing that brings me a little relief from the numb body feeling is doing 10 minute guided body scan meditations on youtube. I like to do about one a day and it's supposed to be good for many things like stress reduction and feeling present which is the opposite feeling you get from dp/dr. Do you have derealization? Is your vision normal or does it seem distorted somehow?


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