# Benzo withdrawal induced DP/DR



## lulu31 (May 9, 2016)

Hi everyone

A little bit about my background...

I was taking valium as needed maybe twice a week, maybe 3 times, for intense work meetings, presentations and occasionally to help me sleep. I was doing this for years and then suddenly in November of 2014 I experienced what was the start of my withdrawal nightmare. As soon as I realised I had become physically addicted to benzos, I vowed to never take them again. SO I basically spent from November until last December in the most intense panic state and curled up in fetal position the majority of the time. I also had some pretty intense DP/DR, weird neurological symptoms and uncontrollable crying- fun times!!

Just before new years, I began to feel slightly better- my mood lifted and I became more positive I would make it. Through 2015, I experienced a mix of withdrawal symptoms that all seemed to be getting less by the start of 2016. Throughout the entire time, I had DP/DR but it was mild and I could live with it and maintain a positive attitude. Mid March of this year, I have no idea what happened... I went out drinking and got pretty drunk on a Saturday night, Monday morning I had a vitamin B injection, some iron tablets and lysine, then Tuesday morning- absolute HELL. I woke up feeling very nauseous and achy with a headache in my front left side. That headache lasted until about two weeks about. Since March, I have had the most overwhelming DP/DR- feeling that nothing is real, that I don't exist, I have weird fucked up thoughts about reality but I have to pretend I am completely normal. It's so intense. I usually come home from work and wonder how the fuck I made it through the day, I usually cry for a while and beg to feel normal or for it to at least ease up. I work full time, but I'm also doing my Masters and when I try to do any work it is sooooo difficult - I can't focus, my brain feels fried. I honestly think I'm losing it and that I'm going to be like this forever and then if that's the case- there's really no point living.... I feel so lost and I don't know what to do- I just want this to end. I had tried to participate in the benzo withdrawal sites, but as DP/DR is my only symptom, I don't feel like I can relate to them. I just really need some advice or support or something...

Thanks for listening


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## 99880 (Mar 17, 2016)

Hi, welcome to the community.

My own DP was induced by trauma, so I'm not the best person to offer advice in this area but I can relate to the symptoms of DP including the neurological issues, and offer my support.

A search through the various forums should bring up information that is relevant and helpful to your circumstances.

Be kind to yourself and don't get too tired, distraction is useful but fatigue will exacerbate the symptoms.


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## ThatBoyGawn (May 26, 2016)

Hey. I have dpdr from benzos too. I am still very much in the thick of all the other symptoms (15 months off) but my DPDR has been intense and relentless. I can relate to your post a lot (I think) That's how bad mine is, I'm so fried, I'm actually unsure of what exactly I feel. All I know is it's fucking strange and wrong. Props to you for being able to work. I can hardly walk, I'd kill for that. They say it gets better, we can only hope right? Sounds like it could have been you weren't ready to have the alcohol.


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## brill (Apr 17, 2016)

sorry you're going through this. Sometimes understanding the brain chemistry can help things out and also help you towards finding the remedy.

Research valium and GABA. Your brain and nervous system are in a hyper-excitable state.

Possibly look into supplements to ease your nervous system. Magnesium, L-Glutamine, L-Theanine


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

Just offering a different point of view. I don't believe valium use of 2x or 3x a week would create a physical dependence on valium. I think it is necessary to identify the problem to deal with it efficiently. I wouldn't think benzo withdrawal is the source of your issues. I've been on and off klonopin at various times in my illness and I was always able to discontinue without any negative repercussions. If I had the option of living in an intense panic state from the fetal position or being reliant on an anti anxiety medication under the prescription of a doctor, I would choose the latter.

These drugs are formulated and tested for the treatment of real conditions which can cause much suffering and disability. I prefer not to suffer. I prefer to be enabled. I refuse to abuse medications. I have no problem taking them for their designed purpose as prescribed by a medical professional.


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