# 100% Full Recovery, Then a Powerful Relapse.



## ToTo (Oct 6, 2015)

Hi everyone, I have been dealing with Depersonalization / Derealization for two years now. I have it 24/7. About 5 months ago I got fully healed for 4 days. 2 years ago, I had a medical error in treating a root canal. The dentist filled the roots with sticks until it pierced into the sinus. Then I went to another one and he told me that I have the filling substance inside the sinus and it won't be out by a regular tooth extraction. A surgery has to be done. However, he told me it won't cause any harm if I left the tooth that way so I did.

About 5 months ago, I decided to get rid of that tooth, because it started to bother me after chewing. I went to the dentist and told him I want to get rid of the tooth. After that, got the tooth pulled out, got up and sat next to the dentist office. He began talking about this and that when suddenly Dp went away. There were some major physical changes with it. I felt there was a sort of pressure in my head that got released. My breathing became much better. I felt as if my breathing was congested and it exploded. The air was very cold when it entered my nostrils and it would make my eyes tear, and I can take great amount of air without forcing myself to. All these changes happened instantly.

My happiness didn't last long, after 4 days Dp came back with severe physical symptoms, non stop headaches, shortness of breath, heart palpitation, pressure in my head, face and ears, nausea, and the list goes on. All these symptoms get worse when I bend over or lie down. Then I suspected an organic cause. I had gone through the surgery and got the sinus clear from the root sticks, no luck. I did everything you can imagine. All my tests and x rays came back normal.

Please, some one help me to figure this out. What exactly happened when I got healed? If anyone can relate, any advice would be really appreciated. There is a lot of details I didn't go through. I focused on the points that would serve the healing process. Please help me. I ran out of options.


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## ToTo (Oct 6, 2015)

Thank you, King Elliot.


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## Ningen (Apr 16, 2015)

I also experienced a brief 40% recovery once after I talked to someone. It only lasted 15 minutes. What are your mental depersonalization symptoms?


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## ToTo (Oct 6, 2015)

Hi Ningen. My healing was 100%. At that time I tried to feel Dp again, I tried my best and I failed. I remember it was exactly like being stoned and then I regained my full consciousness and concentration. Here are the symptoms:

- When I walk I feel I'm walking on clouds, as if I'm floating.

- Used to play video games regularly, now I can barely read.

- When I look at my hand and legs, I feel they are too big, sometimes too small. I feel the distance between my face and hands is very close, sometimes very far, and the same thing applies to my legs. ( I'm talking about sensation not real visual changes)

- Objects look 2D and colors have no life no shining. I don't no how to explain that one.

- Cars look like toys and small in size.

- Things I have done just recently, feels like I have done them long time ago, and the opposite is true.

- Sometimes I get really scared of myself. I feel I'm a body with no soul, and how are my organs connected together! How come I'm me!

I can go on and on with the thoughts and feelings I get because of Dp.


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Hello & Welcome to the Forum,

I find your story rather fascinating.

I have made this poll here http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/48863-head-pressure/

The connection with DP/DR and Head Pressure imho should be looked at closer!

I have been doing simple meditations on relaxing the head pressure I feel...

...and it is actually easing my symptoms.

I'm not recovered fully but I'd say I've seen significant improvement by releasing the head pressure.

(I still feel some head pressure, it is not fully gone, yet)


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## ToTo (Oct 6, 2015)

Thank you, thought on fire.


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## ToTo (Oct 6, 2015)

Please guys help. My ears are killing me. Why do I have to get to this point. Why me, why me, why me!!!!!!??????


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## aworthycause (Mar 22, 2010)

Toto said:


> Please guys help. My ears are killing me. Why do I have to get to this point. Why me, why me, why me!!!!!!??????


You need to stop asking that question. It's your life, your suffering. It really sucks but that's the way it is now. It did happen to YOU. Denying reality will only fuel DP/DR.

Try a regular practice of mindfulness meditation if you haven't done so. You don't have to ruminate on the suffering of the past or the suffering you envision for the future. Only the present moment is what you have to accept.


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## ToTo (Oct 6, 2015)

(TW) for anyone who's recovering or vulnerable towards anything, please don't read the following.

Hi everyone. I wanna pump my old post up. This can't be all in my head. I don't care about dp anymore. My ears are killing me, especially the left one. I have headaches, tmj symptoms, vertigo, loss of physical coordination and fatigue. I'm only 28 to have all of this.

Any ideas would be appreciated. I searched everything. Found alot of articles and posts that resemble my symptoms with no clear diagnosis. Basically I feel like I'm under water all the time. My only relief is when I go to sleep and even that is not a hundred percent of a relief, cause I dream, I dream everyday due to the head pressure and headaches. I wake up and feel like I haven't slept at all. Ye, and I have this swollen gland or vein I'm not sure, behind the left ear that doesn't want to go away.

Here's a detailed post I made in another forum before becoming a member of dpselfhelp.

http://www.psychforums.com/depersonalization/topic164994.html

People, assisted suicide should be legalized. If anyone is disabled physically and mentally with no chance of recovering, then, what's the point of him being here anymore. I just don't get it. Hundreds of people have hanged themselves or lied down under trains. Wouldn't it had been better for them to have assisted suicide. Even if they were dealing with something treatable, they could've built themselves up from that point.

Gotta admit something, I'm too much of a pussy to hurt myself. Couldn't get most of things right. At least wanna do this in a peaceful way. And to be honest, don't wanna have this for another ten years, that would become thirteen years of this shit. Come in here write posts and lie to myself " oh, there's hope ". Here is the deal, even if anyone can guarantee me that I'll be cured after ten years, I don't wanna deal with this for another ten years. Better check my way out. Life sucks anyway. Even for those with no physical and mental issues.

And I don't know why when anyone mentiones suicide I feel scared and wanna help them and don't want them to die. But I feel okay for myself to commit suicide or even contemplate doing it.

Sorry for the long reply, I'm just surrounded by narrow minded inconsiderate people. So I'm just speaking my mind and wrote everything that popped into my head.

Thanks for reading.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Toto...Im just reading back through your original post and something occured to me....Im wondering if the anaesthetic you were under during your dental treatment possibly relaxed you enough to release you from your DP symptoms....

Even though it sounds totally negative I totally agree with you in the legalisation of assisted suicide....

But what I will say is that I was where you are many times and I pulled through...But only with the help of medicine...If you havent already tried medicines you should seriously consider them....

What has worked for me and Ive also seen it work in a very close friend is a low dose of Atypical Anti Psychotic along with a low dose of SSRI...

In my case Dolmatil and Ctialopram

In my friends case Seroquel and Lexapro

We both had CHRONIC depersonalization and this combination of medicines made us feel much better in a couple of weeks...

You may just feel worse or zonked for a few days while your system adjusts to the Anti Psychotic (This is very normal and eases soon after)


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

Toto said:


> And I don't know why when anyone mentiones suicide I feel scared and wanna help them and don't want them to die. But I feel okay for myself to commit suicide or even contemplate doing it.


I have the same feeling.


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