# Illusions and distortions



## ummlaith (Jan 20, 2014)

Hi Everyone,

After 6 months of dealing with depersonalization/derealization episodes [in association with major depressive disorder (melancholoic) and panic attacks] and trying to relate my experiences to doctors and mental health professionals without answers, it was finally suggested by the psychiatrist after the 5th session that "it sounds like depersonalization/derealization/disassociation. After feeling so alone and like I had lost my mind, knowing that I wasn't alone in this experience and reading others had experienced the same brought a flood of reassurance.

One of the more frightening dp/dr symptoms I experienced commonly was visual and auditory illusions/hallucinations. Swirling patterns, walls breathing, patterns turning into oceans, things moving when they are not, walls flashing different colours, auditory hallucinations that last 10-30 mins like ambulances behind my head, old fashioned steam train tooting on my balcony, ect.

Now that I have received treatment for the depression and anxiety the full-on dp has ceased, but I still have residual visual illusions and distortions. Objects still appear as if they are breathing, letters dance on my page, looking at patterns always results in it turning into something, straight lines go wavy and wobbly..... those more minor but distracting symptoms. Once not too long ago I was looking at a patterned floor and it appeared as if a vortex was opening up.

I couldn't find much on illusions/distortions being a common dp/dr symptom so I was wondering if any one else here experiences this kind of thing? Is it more a dr symptom? I'm still new to knowing about these disorders so your responses are most appreciated.


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## dpsucks (Sep 7, 2012)

I also experience things similar to this, walls seeming to be colored, straight lines going wavy, and things like that. while it may not be a common symptom of dp, alot of people with dp also experience this sort of thing. its more related to hppd and dr i'd say.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

That doesn't sound like dpdr at all...have u looked up hppd ?? Did u get this from drugs by any chance? Or just depression. If it is dpdr tips extremely intense DR but I've never experienced it like that in the past


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## ummlaith (Jan 20, 2014)

I didn't go into all my dp/dr symptoms because they are pretty stock standard. I had it episodically, it would last between 6 and 24 hours each episode and occur a few times a week. I had been having intense anxiety and panic attacks for months and then suddenly during one of my panic attacks I got dp/dr. I "crossed over" into feeling 3rd person to myself, watching myself perform actions at a distance, not seeing me but a third person in the mirror, everything being in slow motion, everything sounded as if I was in a bubble, Like I don't belong in this strange world - feeling WEIRD... I thought I lost my mind. Then at then toward the end of the episode I had my first auditory hallucination. From then on whenever I had an acute episode of anxiety I would have a dp/dr episode, and it could often involve illusions/distortions of both vision and sound.

I haven't used drugs in 10+ years so I don't think it directly had anything to do with that, but I did read somewhere that illusions during dp/dr is associated with previous drug use. Just wanted to see if many other people experienced these symptoms.

Thanks for your inputs!


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

ummlaith said:


> Hi Everyone,
> 
> After 6 months of dealing with depersonalization/derealization episodes [in association with major depressive disorder (melancholoic) and panic attacks] and trying to relate my experiences to doctors and mental health professionals without answers, it was finally suggested by the psychiatrist after the 5th session that "it sounds like depersonalization/derealization/disassociation. After feeling so alone and like I had lost my mind, knowing that I wasn't alone in this experience and reading others had experienced the same brought a flood of reassurance.
> 
> ...


Interesting 

I've heard of a lot of people having distortions and illusions with just mere anxiety. Objects appear to shimmer, move, fluctuate etc etc. I highly doubt it's got anything to do with HPPD if you've 1) not done drugs in over 10 years and 2) haven't done any potent hallucinogenic.

I think DP blurs the line between whats normal and not normal considerably, at least in our own minds. For example, staring at a stagnant object for an extended period of time will a normal persons eye's completely bug out, colours can appear a different 'hue' in different lighting, complex patterns will appear to move a little if you intently stare at them for long periods etc. etc. I also don't know if past drug use can manifest itself like that in periods of intense DP, that seems very far fetched to me but hey, I have been wrong before haha.

I'm no doctor or psych, and this is all pretty 'fringe' territory that we all exist in, but that's my 2 cents


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## MusicaElectronica (Sep 17, 2013)

in the beginning of dp i experience similar things. i "heard" ambulance sirens in my head. and randomly pictures popped up in my head like oceans,waterfalls,places. also i get flashbacks from the past,no specialy. but they popped upp suddenly. really wierd. 
it was almost like fever hallucinations. 
can you relate to this as well?


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## VonnegutJunky (Oct 31, 2015)

This is an old thread but I'm new here and I just want to say that I too have these illusions/distortions and I have deperssion and dp/dr - maybe people who have comorbid symptoms with dp/dr have different symptoms - maybe additional symptoms? Anyway just wanted to reassure the op he/she is not alone


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