# Depersonalisation reality 😂



## Natty1977 (Jul 12, 2021)

Hi,
I’ve suffered with it for over 20 years now. And what’s even worse, is the fact that it’s not recognised as a major illness, because no one understands it, and it just gets dismissed by family , friends and doctors. My wife is a GP,
and she says that it’s all in my head! Charming lol. I was treated for a while in London until the DP department was disbanded. So I’m left with the list of meds that I was taking, that I still take, because the local surgery has no idea about the complexities of high dose experimental meds.
400mg Lamotragine, 200mg sertraline.
I also take morphine daily now for tendinitis in my hands and arms. I’ve been a builder for 28 years now. 
ive been living in a dreamworld for decades now, feeling like shit most of the time. 
so I may aswell be still in a dream with morphine, and feel great!! 😂😂
I feel that I’ve missed out on raising my children, and just living in a 2d world.
For a couple of minutes a few times a year, I come back to normality, and I tell you, it freaks me out immensely. Not just because life extrudes in to 3D, but mainly having the realisation of how much of life I’m missing out on. Also if I am cured at some point in the future, I think I would be a nervous wreak , to think of what I’ve been through, and how much it’s changed me.
I feel/know that part of me has died already,
Keep the faith! We have no choice 😊😊


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## Cray2344 (Sep 14, 2018)

Sorry to hear.
Is the lamotragine, sertraline combo not helping ??


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## Natty1977 (Jul 12, 2021)

Cray2344 said:


> Sorry to hear.
> Is the lamotragine, sertraline combo not helping ??


Thanks 😊 

Yes, my condition has improved. I’m not sure how to measure it, but I have noticed a difference. I’m still feel like I am on a monorail,
But I am glad I am taking these meds, as any improvement is welcomed. I was told by Dr Elain Hunter clinical lead of the depersonalisation team, that no one knows why these meds work fully or partially, they just prescribe them based as per patient results.
In fact , she told me that it was blind luck how they found this combination of meds , that actually did something 😂 she had also mentioned electrical magnetic therapy, that had good results


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## Nostalgicaura (Jan 12, 2022)

Hi I need help I hold all my stress in my brain or all my stress turns into a lump in my throat. When I “let go” I feel like my mind turns into a beam of light not literally but like feeling wise or like I’m connected to my “higher self or the Holy Spirit. Idk this feeling scares me because I feel like I shouldn’t disconnect from my body to reconnect to my body and when I do disconnect I feel like sometimes I get anxiety and start choking but letting go is the only thing that keeps me from feeling like my head isn’t gonna explode or I won’t die from choking. I don’t knowing it feels like to be normal anymore talking in conversations gives me anxiety I don’t really feel emotions unless I’m having a mental breakdown the only time I really feel like myself is when I disconnect or get lost in a task and forget what I’m doing. I’ll do push-ups so easy and can’t even really feel the pain cause I don’t feel the weight in my body. All i know is when I feel like I connect to a beam of light in a sensory context I feel like I’m free and like I do tasks more effectively like idk its like another voice in my head or my conscious I guess I’ve forgotten because I always hold my stress in my head. Idk I used to be really into spirituality if I was to say what chakras are blocked I would say my root chakra and my third eye chakra when I let go of my stress I feel like my third eye chakra is open but I don’t feel the weight on my body but tbh all I want to do Is just feel like myself again I want to know who I am so nobody can tell me I’m anyone else . Idk I just don’t really know how to “go with the flow” anymore because everything I feel scares me when I connect to my higher self or let go of my stress I feel like I’m more sensitive to emotions and just close off again I guess just any best advice would help.


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## Cray2344 (Sep 14, 2018)

Natty1977 said:


> Thanks 😊
> 
> Yes, my condition has improved. I’m not sure how to measure it, but I have noticed a difference. I’m still feel like I am on a monorail,
> But I am glad I am taking these meds, as any improvement is welcomed. I was told by Dr Elain Hunter clinical lead of the depersonalisation team, that no one knows why these meds work fully or partially, they just prescribe them based as per patient results.
> In fact , she told me that it was blind luck how they found this combination of meds , that actually did something 😂 she had also mentioned electrical magnetic therapy, that had good results


Back to this thread im just wondering if taking 400mg of lamictal has not even greatly reduced your symptoms? I mean you still experience 2d world and feel greatly dissasociated?


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## Natty1977 (Jul 12, 2021)

Cray2344 said:


> Back to this thread im just wondering if taking 400mg of lamictal has not even greatly reduced your symptoms? I mean you still experience 2d world and feel greatly dissasociated?


Hi,

The meds have helped me, more in the way of how I feel within myself, rather than awareness and physical. I get on with things these days.
I’m not depressed or anything. I just think that I’m the type of person that can’t be beaten, no matter how much you throw at me. 😂
I take risks in business to do well, and I do.
I’m focused at what I put my mind to, which is probably down to the DP to be fair.
When I have enough spare money, I’m going to throw a couple of £million into a self sustaining research laboratory! Sounds funny, but I will make it my life’s work to beat this. Keep the faith!!!!!!


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