# Core beliefs



## Guest (Jun 20, 2011)

Hello

When I read peoples posts, on boards or on chat, I can often hear their core beliefs; reading between the lines.

So what is a core belief? It's the bottom line, when you follow downward arrowing. This is Socratic method, and it's simple questioning and evaluation.

Pick any element in your life that's frustrating.

David Burns(1980)wrote: "Through a process of thoughtful questions, you discover on your own the beliefs that defeat you. You unearth the origin of your problems by repeating the following questions over and over: "If that negative thought were true, what would it mean to me? Why would it upset me?"

I have much more to say on this subject if anyone's interested. I do believe this issue is key. If you have a self-defeating core belief or ridged schemata, you are stuck between the rock of your good intentions and the hard place of your self-fulfilling prophesies.


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## snow storm (Aug 10, 2010)

This is very interesting. Could you mention some common core beliefs?


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2011)

Phantasm said:


> Hello
> 
> When I read peoples posts, on boards or on chat, I can often hear their core beliefs; reading between the lines.
> 
> ...


feel free to share your idea in more details, I talk about the something similar all the time.


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2011)

"they manifest as general and absolute statements, eg "I am bad", or "Others are not to be trusted". They do not typically vary much across time or situations but are seen by the person as fundamental truths that apply in all situations"


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2011)

Here is an example of downward arrowing:

Therapist, "Why did you give up the project?"
Client, "I was not good enough"
T, "And that means?"
C, "There was no point. I have to be the best, or else I've acheived nothing"
T, "Can you tell me more about the importance of being the best?"
C, "If i'm not superior, I'm wasting my time."
T, "What is so bad about wasting time?"
C, "Time wasting is failure."
T, "Let's imagine that you did waste time and you felt like a failure. What would that mean to you?"
C, "If one is a failure, one is pathetic"
T, "Are you able to tell me what that means to you personally?"
C, "I'll be revealed as a flake. Which is what I am."

His family despised flakes as soft, vulnerable and sensitive, and he believed that flakes end up despised, rejected and lonely.

You can see that this is unrealistic. Outdated core beliefs have to be challenged and broken down.


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## Guest (Jun 24, 2011)

I just wanted to tie up this thread with a personal example.

Whenever I would look into myself, by whatever technique, I would reach a sence of hopelessness that could be best summed up as the core belief, "I'm not good enough". From here I derived many Dysfunctional Assumptions. "If I'm not good enough, then..." I would often end up in a loop. I had this relentlessly, self-critical voice that undermined me in everything.

Then I stopped identifying with it. After all, I don't talk to others that way. Whoes voice was it? I turned on it, with emotion. "Not good enough how? Compared to who?" I thought of my resiliance, resourcefulness and other qualities. The voice had no answer because it was automatic, like a recording. It was the voice of petty, vindictive people from my past who I had no respect for; people persuing their own agendas because they were selfish and small.

They were responsible for making me feel this way, yet I had identified with them by listening to their voice when I would barely trust them to change a lightbulb today. By identifying with cruel voices from the past I was being the thing I hated. We are impressionable when we are young...

I realised the only validity these negative core beliefs had was the belief I had in them. In the sence that my belief in them effected my behaviour, causing them to be self-fulfilling.

here is an example:

- "Others don't like me. They are aggressive"
- Social withdrawal/ Declining invitations/ Hostile behaviour to other people. 
- Others stop social approaches/ Others respond with hostility. 
- Apparent confirmation of predictions.
- "Others don't like me. They are aggressive"

I realise it's not easy to challenge them, because they can be like a deep wound in the heart of your phyche, and laden with emotion. That and the fact they are beliefs and you believe them. And it's not always easy to be objective about yourself, especially if you have developed a personality disorder in defence. But, as with most of these things, they are ultimately smoke and mirrors.
But maybe recovery is a series of personal realisations. Each one taking you to the next level of understanding.

But if you have a belief like, "I deserve to suffer", That's obviously going to hinder recovery.
My old belief is just like an echo or memory now, an anchor line that's been cut, and I feel my sence of worth now.

Sorry if Ive been rambling, and I hope this makes some kind of sence as Im quite sleepy, but hope it was of interest and not too self-indulgent.

Peace.


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## Guest (Jul 2, 2011)

Ok, one more..

Just reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and came across this relevant passage.

"...Perhaps you believe that the world you live in is a hostile, unfriendly, dangerous place, or that you 'deserve punishment.'
Remember that both behaviour and feeling spring from belief. To root out the belief which is responsible for your feeling and behaviour - ask yourself, 'why?' Is there some task which you would like to do, some channel in which you would like to express yourself, but you hang back feeling that 'I can't'? Ask yourself 'WHY?'
'Why do I believe that I can't?'
Then ask yourself - 'Is this belief based upon an actual fact - or upon an assumption - or a false conclusion?'
Then ask yourself the questions:

1. Is there any rational reason for such a belief?
2. Could it be that I am mistaken in this belief?
3. Would I come to the same conclusion about some other person in a similar situation?
4. Why should I continue to act and feel as if this were true if there is no good reason to believe it?

Don't just pass these questions by casually. Wrestle with them. Think hard on them. Get emotional about them. Can you see that you have cheated yourself and sold yourself short - not because of a 'fact' - but only because of some stupid belief? If so, try to arouse some indignation, or even anger. Indignation and anger can sometimes act as liberators from false ideas."

Spooky how my divergent sources are starting to coalesce. Maybe Im getting to the big picture.

P.s. If you dismiss this entirely and believe it is all useless to you, you might ask yourself if that is the manifestation of a self-defeating belief? (I'm mind-fucking you now







) Just as you sometimes need to choose your friends carefully, be even more careful about the thought patterns you identify with. These can be subtle matters. "Who goes there, in my mind? Identify yourself, friend or foe?"







lol


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