# 2 months of Derealization



## MidwestMike (Dec 17, 2014)

Hello my name is Michael. I am 15 years old and from Detroit, Michigan. On October 9th, 2014 i smoked a joint (third time to be precise) which was the biggest mistake of my life.

I was with a few girlfriends of mine who has many times before smoked it also. After taking several puffs and in under 10 minutes i had a severe panic attack. I didn't know where i was and was going crazy. i almost called 911 but my friend stopped me and i was almost passing out. I felt like i was dying even though they only were a bit panicky themselves. I had this constant thing where my head would go back and ring like someone banged a big gong and it didn't stop until i went home. I told my mom and she said to go to sleep and calm down. She felt bad for me.

I went to bed and the next day i woke up and felt hungover you could say. I felt weird so i Googled it and i discovered Depersonalization considering i has many of the symptoms. I said to myself for the whole weekend i had this but as time passed ( a few days) i felt back to normal. It wasn't until the week before Halloween that i went to a football game and walking home i felt very anxious and didn't know what to do. I felt almost a panic attack come along but i was better when i came back home.

The Monday i went to school i had a panic attack in 5th hour. The week of Halloween was the worst because i felt like i was slipping into a different reality and having a bunch of panic attacks. I became a bit antisocial and depressed also but i learned to not do that because it would only worsen it so i stopped that and tried to fix myself up. The month of November was a long month for me. I started to realize my DPD was more of Derealization than DP. I wanted to go to a mental hospital because i has thoughts of suicide at points. I am taking an AP class this year for the first time (AP Government) and rasing up my GPA which is putting A LOT of stress on myself too. It was a bumpy month November being good one day and bad the next. I still felt foggy 24/7 but sometimes being preoccupied made me better (going to school usually). Thanksgiving was a stressful day for me also.

Two of my friends (who i had the panic attack with) and my parents know about my problem but don't know how to relate really which is stressful for me.

I go to therapy now and am currently taking Fluoxetine (prozac) which I'm on my second day with. My life is somewhat better but i still feel foggy and unreal. When I'm active I'm better but just sitting around makes my anxiety and DP/DR worse.

December has been somewhat better so I'm glad for that. I had my AP Government final last two Mondays ago which i got an okay grade on. The one bad thing that happened to me was on Friday last day of school before winter break i had a panic attack i French probably because studied too much for something and stresses the hell out of myself. But only bad thing to happen this month really.

Im happy I'm getting slightly better but really hope this gets better once the SSRI kicks in and I'm thinking of getting myself more active and back on the right track.


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## <AGENT>teh345 (Apr 10, 2012)

MidwestMike said:


> Hello my name is Michael. I am 15 years old and from Detroit, Michigan. On October 9th, 2014 i smoked a joint (third time to be precise) which was the biggest mistake of my life.
> 
> I was with a few girlfriends of mine who has many times before smoked it also. After taking several puffs and in under 10 minutes i had a severe panic attack. I didn't know where i was and was going crazy. i almost called 911 but my friend stopped me and i was almost passing out. I felt like i was dying even though they only were a bit panicky themselves. I had this constant thing where my head would go back and ring like someone banged a big gong and it didn't stop until i went home. I told my mom and she said to go to sleep and calm down. She felt bad for me.
> 
> ...


Hey Michael, welcome to the site.

My DP/DR was induced by marijuana like yours. I even recovered from mine within a month and decided to smoke marijuana again since I was feeling better. That turned out to be a very bad idea, it sent me straight back to DP/DR hell, and I've been there ever since (2.5 years).

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this but I'm going to anyways. Never touch weed again. Avoid it like the plague.

Going to therapy and taking an SSRI is a good start. SSRI's don't work for everyone but definitely give them a chance. Therapy is very good because it allows you to get things off your chest in a safe environment, and prevents you from bottling things up which might perpetuate the DP/DR'd state.

You already have an edge on this whole thing because you found out for yourself that sitting around doing nothing is counterproductive for this condition especially. Stay active, keep busy.

Besides the occasional hiccup due to stress, it sounds like your improving. Keep it up! Don't sweat the small shit, don't stress yourself out unnecessarily. Wish you all the best bro.


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## MidwestMike (Dec 17, 2014)

> teh345" data-cid="347358" data-time="1419228516">
> 
> Hey Michael, welcome to the site.
> 
> ...


thank you! it feel nice knowing that someone has been through the same thing with weed as i have. thank you for warning me.


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## MisterCrayons (Feb 3, 2013)

I'm glad to hear that out of some of us you are able to take it very well. I hope it only gets better for you. Just remember to keep your head up and try not to let DP/DR control your life. Do what makes you happy and what doesn't tripper it as much as possible. Again no matter what stay strong!!!


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