# CRAZY? HELP



## CherryCoke (Oct 24, 2013)

HI!

I am new here and I am from Germany. So sorry for mistakes. I have an anxiety disorder for one year now and DP as well. Well. the feeling of DP does not bother me much.

My biggest fear is to lose control or getting shizophrenia.

Since I have DP I have these crazy thoughts about myself, existence, reality...These thoughts scare me very much. Maybe I am already in a fantasy world. Maybe I am already crazy and just dont realize it neither. Maybe everything I see is just Imagination or hallucination. I do not know if I am real or just in my own fantasy world. Are these crazy thoughts just anxiety? Please let me know If anybody of you had thoughts like this...HELP!!


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## CherryCoke (Oct 24, 2013)

Thx for your answer. I have these thoughts about existence. Is it not just a wonder that we can THINK; WALK etc. Common as well?


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## CherryCoke (Oct 24, 2013)

Yes, for example I think: It is a wonder that I can think...Do I really think? Why can humans think? What happens if you are not thinking? Is everything real or fantasy? Am I really here? Why? ETC. ETC. AND ALL OF THESE THOUGHTS SCARE ME!


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## CherryCoke (Oct 24, 2013)

Thank u so much!


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## appleseed24 (Oct 9, 2013)

The fact that you can recognize these thoughts as not being the norm MEANS you are NORMAL. If you are recognizing normal behaviour in others then you yourself are functioning normal it's just your thoughts are OVER ACTIVE so obviously analyzing something too much will make you QUESTION it. This is a normal human thought pattern, it's just over-active. It's okay these thoughts will pass.


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## Doberg (Sep 12, 2013)

CherryCoke said:


> My biggest fear is to lose control or getting shizophrenia.
> 
> Since I have DP I have these crazy thoughts about myself, existence, reality...These thoughts scare me very much. Maybe I am already in a fantasy world. Maybe I am already crazy and just dont realize it neither. Maybe everything I see is just Imagination or hallucination. I do not know if I am real or just in my own fantasy world.


My friend, rest assured you are NOT alone with this, I too have had such thoughts, even to the point I was convinced I had schizophrenia. I did lots of research on schizophrenia, watched a lot of videos on it, heard the stories, theories, causes etc. It freaked me out so bad that I started thinking that I was hearing voices, I was seeing things, I was paranoid the cia was after me, people were demons, I was delusional etc.(thought this but new it wasn't true deep down) This lead me to honestly believe I was schizo, I then would seek opinions from others and a few people would say that I "may" actually have it. Well, that's very scary! So I made a list of a lot of my symptoms, thoughts and emotions. I gave it to my therapist and to this day I still make journal notes of what goes on in my head and my ideas of what I think it comes from etc. I have yet to hear back from my therapist, but I have realized through self examination that these crazy thoughts or what ever you want to call it happen when I give my anxiety wiggle room. Meaning when I am not engaged in activities, errands, chores, work etc I start to think these thoughts. Its like I have to continue to run from my fears... I was to the point I was so convinced I was crazy that I was going to start on antipsychotic meds. But really looking into it, researching Pure O schiz and ocd over schizophrenia, Maniaphobia, fear of going crazy etc I noticed a lot of people also scared themselves into manifesting schizo symptoms and believing they had it. Its not until we have a moment of clarity with minimal anxiety that we realize how distorted our thinking was/is by anxiety, self ruminating and overanalyzing as well as anticipating our fears coming true. If anyone was convinced they were schizo to find out they are likely not (waiting to talk to the therapist again,perhaps do testing) it was me. I have even done all the online tests etc non have said I was even close to having it. I have a hard time trusting due to my ptsd so when everyone tells me I am not crazy I don't fully believe them, what if they missed my symptoms, what if they don't understand fully what I am saying, they don't know what they are talking about what if I wasn't honest..etc etc. It wasn't until I started rationalizing, really taking myself out of my own shoes and observing me from another persons perspective, writing down all my feelings, fears, memories, symptoms etc that I realized that this is ALL part of FEAR and ANXIETY that has been constantly high for far to long (I still freak myself out over schizophrenia daily, I wont lie). You get so anxious and fearful over EVERYTHING because your subconscious is stuck in "there is danger" mode. Well as time goes on in this state, your mind becomes fatigued, your ability to think rationally, to remember things becomes dull and you start doubting your sanity, or you begin to convince yourself insanity, schizo, psychosis etc is right around the corner! DONT RESEARCH SCHIZOPHRENIA and the alike, it will only feed your fears and before you know it you will observe the symptoms manifest in your imagination. Thus convincing yourself you have it.... its a hard circle to break. Just no you are not alone. Any mention of crazy, psychosis, schizophrenia, delusion, hallucination, or anything that reminds me of how I was convinced I was crazy scares me lol... again, its all fear based


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