# I actually hit full reality for a few days once



## radiocure (Nov 25, 2009)

Note: This account is of about a week and a half ago, and I have been dp'ed for about three months.

I had been hanging out with friends, and they were off to all get stoned. I was just tagging along because I had to take my friend back home with me later, and I wanted to get some cigarettes because she'd smoked all mine. As we were walking to one of the kids' houses though, I felt a panic attack coming on. I was scared, since I'd left my Klonopin my friend's overnight. When we got to the house, I was talked into hitting the bong (something I hadn't done in months and probably won't do again) to calm me down. This was the reasoning in my head: Weed=Xanax=Valium=Klonopin. I was an idiot.

Immediately, I felt terrible. I got the worst shakes I've ever had and started choking. I thought I was going to black out. I lit up a cigarette to try and calm down, but nothing helped. So, I ended up very stoned and pissed at myself, even as the shakes went away. I then had to get up and navigate back to my house, and I was panicking. I was high, but also angry and suicidal. I hated myself. I was convinced I was going schizophrenic. When I got back home, I confessed to my parents and let them hold me while I cried. Then came time to drop off my friend. We rode back to her house, and I found that the high was dissipating. As the layers of panic and fog went away, I found myself straining for any kind of reality. I fought so hard that I found myself in the first true reality for months, dr gone. By fighting my way out of a black hole, I'd gotten it back. It was beautiful, and calming.

It then went away a few days later.  
And then I became nearly suicidal after a panic attack and nicotine withdrawal.

(I really don't recommend this.)


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## sythdrummer90 (Jan 9, 2010)

I dont know your personal situation (obviously), but maybe letting something that was weighing you down out to your parents, you felt a serious temporary relief of stress, therefore letting you calm down for a little while. Possibly.


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## Borisus (Nov 13, 2009)

Yeah, apparently family bonding is one of the greatest therapeutic events that can happen to a person if they actually put the effort in. Maybe that night you were so gone that you did lend yourself out to your parents for the first time in a while and it helped... Not sure. Hope you experience more reality though.


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