# Meditation gone wrong?



## L1F3 (Mar 14, 2010)

Hey everyone i've had DR for a long time and a bit DP too i suppose but it has never been a problem really until some days ago when i was thinking to meditate some. I was laying down on my back onto my bed while listening to some isochronic tones and tried to relax and as thoughts came by i forced them away and i tried to make sure my breathing was good. After a while my closed eye visuals got really bright and white and i started to feel hazy or something so i thought this is nice and i 
looked out of my window and thinking this was interesting.

Then i did it again and after that i said okay well i stop now then i sat in my computer chair and i got a panic attack and felt like i was gonna pass out everything felt wierd and unreal. I got so scared i wonder what i just did might be wrong and i sometimes feel like weird pain in the back in my head so im worried i've caused any damage. I would appreciate someone to explain this for me so i can get this off my chest.


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## m&m (Mar 8, 2010)

L1F3 said:


> Hey everyone i've had DR for a long time and a bit DP too i suppose but it has never been a problem really until some days ago when i was thinking to meditate some. I was laying down on my back onto my bed while listening to some isochronic tones and tried to relax and as thoughts came by i forced them away and i tried to make sure my breathing was good. After a while my closed eye visuals got really bright and white and i started to feel hazy or something so i thought this is nice and i
> looked out of my window and thinking this was interesting.
> 
> Then i did it again and after that i said okay well i stop now then i sat in my computer chair and i got a panic attack and felt like i was gonna pass out everything felt wierd and unreal. I got so scared i wonder what i just did might be wrong and i sometimes feel like weird pain in the back in my head so im worried i've caused any damage. I would appreciate someone to explain this for me so i can get this off my chest.


I have strange feelings in my head sometimes but not the same location as yours, but the feeling is always the same.
This may just indicate how your DP/DR manifests itself. Not sure, but it fits some of my experiences.

Link for function of areas of the brain
http://www.neuroskills.com/brain.shtml


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## Guest (Mar 14, 2010)

L1F3 said:


> Hey everyone i've had DR for a long time and a bit DP too i suppose but it has never been a problem really until some days ago when i was thinking to meditate some. I was laying down on my back onto my bed while listening to some isochronic tones and tried to relax and as thoughts came by i forced them away and i tried to make sure my breathing was good. After a while my closed eye visuals got really bright and white and i started to feel hazy or something so i thought this is nice and i
> looked out of my window and thinking this was interesting.
> 
> Then i did it again and after that i said okay well i stop now then i sat in my computer chair and i got a panic attack and felt like i was gonna pass out everything felt wierd and unreal. I got so scared i wonder what i just did might be wrong and i sometimes feel like weird pain in the back in my head so im worried i've caused any damage. I would appreciate someone to explain this for me so i can get this off my chest.


Is there also Heat in the back of your head?


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## L1F3 (Mar 14, 2010)

Well i think i remember when i did the meditation it was kinda heat in the back of my head but i didn't bother i thought it was normal.


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## Guest (Mar 14, 2010)

L1F3 said:


> Well i think i remember when i did the meditation it was kinda heat in the back of my head but i didn't bother i thought it was normal.


Heat in the back of the head is normal.


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## Guest (Mar 14, 2010)

L1F3 said:


> Hey everyone i've had DR for a long time and a bit DP too i suppose but it has never been a problem really until some days ago when i was thinking to meditate some. I was laying down on my back onto my bed while listening to some isochronic tones and tried to relax and as thoughts came by i forced them away and i tried to make sure my breathing was good. After a while my closed eye visuals got really bright and white and i started to feel hazy or something so i thought this is nice and i
> looked out of my window and thinking this was interesting.
> 
> Then i did it again and after that i said okay well i stop now then i sat in my computer chair and i got a panic attack and felt like i was gonna pass out everything felt wierd and unreal. I got so scared i wonder what i just did might be wrong and i sometimes feel like weird pain in the back in my head so im worried i've caused any damage. I would appreciate someone to explain this for me so i can get this off my chest.


Hello dear...
What you are experiencing is indeed depersonalization... it is also an ego-less state...
You are becoming somewhat enlightened believe it or not.
It is a realization that self and world are illusions and that you are beyond this material world.

here are many books on authors who have depersonalization and how it goes hand in hand with an immense spiritual awakening.

the first book is called COLLISIONS WITH THE INFINITE..

http://www.amazon.com/Collision-Infinite-Life-Beyond-Personal/dp/1884997279/ref=pd_ybh_1?pf_rd_p=280800601&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_t=1501&pf_rd_i=ybh&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=10JF88MRVD761J2NQNH2

It is about the life of a woman who has depersonalization her whole life... she begins to meditate Buddhist meditations.. specifically one meditation called 'transcendental meditation' where one contemplates the self. And later she finds that DP was already an egoless state.. so what she was seeking she had already found. GREAT BOOK!

The second book is by..Bernadette Roberts and her understanding that DP goes hand in hand with a deep spiritual awakening.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0892819731/qid=1139356187/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-8233616-6665650?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

the third book is

LSD, Spirituality and the Creative Process 
By Marlene Dobkin de Rios and Oscar Janiger, MD 
Compiled forty years after the late Oz Janigers studies on LSD and Creativity, this book recounts the unique experiences of the participants in one of the most cutting edge experiments of our time. Depersonalization, while under LSD, is discussed and sheds some light on the experience in a unique context of an LSD trip and provide some compelling theories about the nature of DP itself.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0892819731/qid=1139356187/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-8233616-6665650?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

Fourth book is...

The Varieties of Religious Experience 
By William James 
The classic work by the renowned psychologist is an invaluable groundwork for anyone studying depersonalization and like conditions and their relation to spiritual experience.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679640118/qid=1139356218/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-8233616-6665650?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

SO BASICALLY BOTTOM LINE IS.... DP IS A GREAT THING! WITH IT WE CAN BECOME EGO-LESS...

here is a you tube video on a girl who says this as well..


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## L1F3 (Mar 14, 2010)

I don't understand how DP is a great thing? it made me depressed and things i used to like to do doesn't work anymore. After having an exhausting day i don't get that nice home feeling it's more like "yeah so now im home". If im becoming enlightened i want to be deenlightened just to be a bit possitive im gonna say that i do have brief episodes during the day when i feel pretty good.


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

L1,

Have you tried meditating again to see if it goes away? Maybe another kind of meditation technique?

I dont want to make it worse for you at all, Im just curious as to how you are currently doing. Wish you the best


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Meditation is supposed to relax you and it does relax the body and muscles alright but it might be iffy on your emotions depending on what mood you're in. Maybe more negative emotions or memories surface during meditation which might effect you. How about trying deep-breathing exercises instead. I know that when I go out for a power walk I really work up a sweat and give my lungs a good work out and my head clears up a lot and you're mind is really distracted by the scenery. I always feel good after that.

I could never get my mind around this new-awakening that dp is supposed to be. That reality is just an illusion. That means our birth was just an illusion. Why does the soul want to create illusions for itself and go thru the complicated process of creating an illusion of birth and death and everything inbetween? Isn't it happy just being ethereal without conjuring up any physical illusions?

I dunno, dp just doesn't feel natural. There are just too many negative feelings (anxiety, depression, brain fog, loss of emotions and happiness) that your gut instinct tells you that it's wrong. And if there really is a split of the soul from the body then medications shouldn't really have any effect on it. Yet for some people meds have "cured" them...that is, brought the soul back in sync with the body again. Maybe these meds have restored the illusion of reality again? In that case it's easy to fool the soul haha.

It's just too weird for me. A physiological reason makes more sense to me.


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