# Feeling enlightened! Some meds are good for you?



## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

Right, well I'm back after my very short stay in hospital thanks to the massive build up of suicidal thoughts and such like. I really had just reached the end of my tether, so I was admitted for 48hrs - Fun times. On a positive note though, hospital admission wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be.. It was boring as all hell but the staff were extraordinarily accomodating. For the first time in a long time I actually felt as though I connected to people! The tears fell like nothing I'd ever experienced before.. It was like a new awakening of emotions which was almost too much for my body and mind to comprehend.

Anyhoo, while I was there I was taken off of Risperidol and started on Seroquel as apparently they do wonders for thought disorders and the like. After 2 days I can honestly say my head is a lot more clear than its been in a while. Don't get me wrong, I feel like a zombie from the tiredness, and my mind is still a jumble at times, but overall this is about as connected I've felt in as long as I can remember!

I've done a bit of reading on the forums about Seroquel, and it really does appear to be a mixed bag. I guess it really does depend on what each person expects to get from the med - I personally am not in it for losing the DP, but more to control the obsessive thoughts about existence and life as a whole. Lord knows its nice to just not think for a while and actually take in how beautiful life really is! (And to think I was THAT close to taking it all away!) So yeah, if anyone has any positive stories to tell regarding Seroquel, it would make for some good reading







I really am hopeful for this med, but at the same time I'm kinda putting all my eggs in one basket because this is my final bash at getting through the anxiety thats crippling my life so badly.

So yeah, positive stories guys







Thank you much!


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

good luck. Im in pretty much exactly the same basket. did you feel dsconnected from your thoughts? kinda like they werent yours?

I just started a new anti psych as well, hoping for the same results!


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## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

dancingwobbler said:


> good luck. Im in pretty much exactly the same basket. did you feel dsconnected from your thoughts? kinda like they werent yours?
> 
> I just started a new anti psych as well, hoping for the same results!


Thank you for the luck







Lord knows I need all I can get at the moment lol. My thoughts have just been so overwhelming.. Like I've had absolutely no control over them at all, and when they turn from existential thoughts to that of ending your own life.. ack, well I'm sure you can guess. Its just difficult when your head is constantly asking you for a reason to carry on, and through sheer exhaustion and frustration you can no longer give it an answer. Today does genuinely feel like less of a fight than normal though, which is a breath of fresh air to say the least







I guess I've just gotta truly grip the fact that life is what you make of it - No matter how connected or disconnected you feel. Life is a magical thing that shouldn't be taken for granted, as like they say.. You only live once!

Oh and I just had my first daily visit from the mental health peeps and they feel I look a lot brighter than yesterday







Tis always nice to hear I guess lol.

Heres hoping you have a positive experience on your new anti psychs! Is it okay to ask which meds you're trying? I have a massive interest in medication and things so it'll make for some afternoon reading if nothing else


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

RenZimE said:


> and when they turn from existential thoughts to that of ending your own life.. ack, well I'm sure you can guess. Its just difficult when your head is constantly asking you for a reason to carry on, and through sheer exhaustion and frustration you can no longer give it an answer.


I keep asking myself "What am I doing here, why do I do things?" , and a million more thoughts like that, but I hope I never think about suiciding. So far I've been managing to think like "Well, I'll just wait with all this pain and suffering until I get better" , not sure if I can keep thinking that way though, but if I can't take it anymore, I'll probably do the same as you


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## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> I keep asking myself "What am I doing here, why do I do things?" , and a million more thoughts like that, but I hope I never think about suiciding. So far I've been managing to think like "Well, I'll just wait with all this pain and suffering until I get better" , not sure if I can keep thinking that way though, but if I can't take it anymore, I'll probably do the same as you


The thing with me is.. As scary as the thoughts can be, and as deep rooted the problem seems, I know deep down that there IS a way out of this. More to the point, life is something you cant get back - Once its gone its gone, and that fact is enground in all of us. Sure things are bleak right now, and suicide enters my mind more times than I care to think about, but in 5 or 10 years time when I look back on this period of time I'll be so frickin glad I hung in there.

Here's hoping you stay strong dude, I'd never wish this helplessness on anyone!


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## Guest (May 19, 2010)

Hello,

I have tried a handful of medications. The anti-psychotics that I've tried have been: Abilify, Seroquel, Resperidol, Perphenazine. Now, Abilify is what I tried first and it really helped but I didn't like the side effects at all, which were being sleepy during the day, and feel wide wake trying to go to sleep. Seroquel made me hallucinate when I closed my eyes. Resperidol made me hallucinate while I was awake. It was only last October that I went to the hospital and they gave me Perpenazine. It's an older anti-psychotic, but it has helped the best for me. I feel so good with Perphenazine that I didn't even know that I could feel so good about a medication, but I do!

The point of what I wrote is this: There are plenty of meds out there, and when you find _*the right one for you*_, that is a good thing.


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## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have tried a handful of medications. The anti-psychotics that I've tried have been: Abilify, Seroquel, Resperidol, Perphenazine. Now, Abilify is what I tried first and it really helped but I didn't like the side effects at all, which were being sleepy during the day, and feel wide wake trying to go to sleep. Seroquel made me hallucinate when I closed my eyes. Resperidol made me hallucinate while I was awake. It was only last October that I went to the hospital and they gave me Perpenazine. It's an older anti-psychotic, but it has helped the best for me. I feel so good with Perphenazine that I didn't even know that I could feel so good about a medication, but I do!
> 
> The point of what I wrote is this: There are plenty of meds out there, and when you find _*the right one for you*_, that is a good thing.


Thanks for your post dude







I too had hallucinations (among other things) with Risperidone which led me to change anti-psych during my stay in hospital. I just hope the Seroquel at least makes some attempt at alleviating this terrible apathy I've been suffering from as of late. It truly is so crippling and is one of the main contributors to the whole suicidal thinking. I guess when you've been disconnected from your own perceived reality for a long time, it really is hard to connect to any of the possible activities there are in store for you. Heres to the next few sleepy days finding my way to some kind of normality once again.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Hi

I actualy thought you weren't here cause you are getting better. Sorry to hear I was wrong.

I hope your new med will help you(I don't have any expereince with it).


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

Renzime, the anti psych is respiridone. Although reading the responses on here i am apprehensive about taking it now! Il let you know how it goes. To the people who are on anti psychs, my major problem is feeling disconnected from my thoughts . Its very bad for me and makes me feel sucidial. DO you think it will help with this? has any experienced thought dissociation chronically?


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## Guest (May 20, 2010)

dancingwobbler said:


> Renzime, the anti psych is respiridone. Although reading the responses on here i am apprehensive about taking it now! Il let you know how it goes. To the people who are on anti psychs, my major problem is feeling disconnected from my thoughts . Its very bad for me and makes me feel sucidial. DO you think it will help with this? has any experienced thought dissociation chronically?


Perphenazine has be extremely beneficial for me. One thing is that I feel more grounded. That means I feel closer to my thoughts, rather than far away. I hope Respiridone does that for you, good luck! If it turns out to be not so good you can always try a new med until you find the right one for you.


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## RenZimE (Feb 10, 2010)

dancingwobbler said:


> Renzime, the anti psych is respiridone. Although reading the responses on here i am apprehensive about taking it now! Il let you know how it goes. To the people who are on anti psychs, my major problem is feeling disconnected from my thoughts . Its very bad for me and makes me feel sucidial. DO you think it will help with this? has any experienced thought dissociation chronically?


I honestly believe it was the Risperidone that caused me to start considering the suicidal thoughts.. Unfortunately they haven't quit haunting me just yet, but I'm still hanging in there







If it gets too much I'll just have to go back to hospital I guess. But yeah, don't let my experience bias your own as each person reacts differently to medication and for all you know it could well be your miracle cure! Who knows. Either way I wish you the best of luck! May we find the strength to beat this demon once and for all.


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

I really just want to feel Grounded again like you mentioned. my thought problem spirals out of control and makes me feel things i cant descrube but they are terrible. Been on for a few days now at lowest dose and feel nothing for the better or worse. il let you know how it goes..


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