# I don’t remember who I was



## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

I don’t remember anything about me or who i used to be. I don’t remember the person that was formerly in my body. Can that come back? Even after this long? I don’t think i can live much longer like this. I am completely gone. I don’t know how my body does it tbh. There is no point in living if there is no one here.


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## Ezio (Nov 24, 2015)

I know how it feels like .. you don't need to remember who you was .. because you will be better person in the future .. i can feel from your message that your are fighting to get back your identity .. Everyone from us do the same when we think we are completely lost in bad thoughts 
One of the things that worked with me is making this bad thoughts a positive thoughts .. don't seek about who you was .. seek about who you will be ..and you will make it


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

It’s weird too bc here i left my body and no one even notices! It’s like i died and no one notices. It’s a pretty drastic difference from who i was and how i am now. I will always say with dp “I am just a body” “no soul”


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## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

Yes, I hear you. This is how I feel. I have no idea who the hell I am at all.


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## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

Your soul is in your body hun. This is your minds way of protecting you, it's not a bad thing at all.

You got to remember, depersonalization is such an amazing defence mechanism, but a shit one because one side of the brain does not tell the other side of the brain it is shutting off in aid to defend so then your mind thinks you're in danger when in fact it is not so it does all crazy shit to defend you against what it's doing.

Right now, your mind thinks it you're in danger so that's why you feel the way you do.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Coffee girl 
Me to its been 2 years now and I forget im unsure how to act so i just do " you know?
I get memories of the old me so i know this isn't it " you know .
I'm still positive that I will get over dp im trying to eat better 
The one thing I struggle with is trying to lower stress , but it's impossible with a family to run .....
Do your memories feel as if they are not yours ? I didn't realise how bad it was untill i realised how crap my memory is .
I do have history of complex trauma so i have got massive blocks of memories missing from teens to childhood agggggg i dont know anymore this is bull


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

Do your bodies feel completely foreign? Does it feel like your head isn’t there? I don’t feel in control of one thing I do. When will this hell end? Honestly I am either going to die of loneliness or just give up. I can’t even feel my hands or arms type this. I have no idea how I do anything. I would say dp is the biggest life stealer.


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## jr85 (Dec 29, 2017)

Coffe girl, this is exactly what I feel and probably most of us on here feel. It's disturbing. I look at pictures from my past and can't even relate to them. I used to cry when I'd look in the mirror because I knew I was gone. We HAVE to understand it is basically a symptom of PTSD. We WILL get out of this. I'm reading a book by Peter Levine called "Waking the Tiger". I highly recommend it. He clearly describes what we have and gives hope that we can come out of this. Our minds disconnected us from reality because it perceived something to be so horrible it couldn't cope anymore. It doesn't matter what the stressor is it's the same mechanism. Hang in there and try not to freak out too much that's what I do.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

jr85 said:


> Coffe girl, this is exactly what I feel and probably most of us on here feel. It's disturbing. I look at pictures from my past and can't even relate to them. I used to cry when I'd look in the mirror because I knew I was gone. We HAVE to understand it is basically a symptom of PTSD. We WILL get out of this. I'm reading a book by Peter Levine called "Waking the Tiger". I highly recommend it. He clearly describes what we have and gives hope that we can come out of this. Our minds disconnected us from reality because it perceived something to be so horrible it couldn't cope anymore. It doesn't matter what the stressor is it's the same mechanism. Hang in there and try not to freak out too much that's what I do.


It doesn't matter if it's a symptom of ptsd....it's killing me. Literally it's killing me. It's not something you can just live with. To not feel your freaking body for YEARS is not ok ptsd or not. If you can't understand that you aren't experiencing it like I am. This isn't sustainable for anyone!


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

time2wakeup said:


> Try automatic writing or automatic drawing, and don't be afraid of what comes up. It's been helping me. And/or go to some sort of energy healer.


Can you feel your body?


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## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

CoffeeGirl9 said:


> Do your bodies feel completely foreign? Does it feel like your head isn't there? I don't feel in control of one thing I do. When will this hell end? Honestly I am either going to die of loneliness or just give up. I can't even feel my hands or arms type this. I have no idea how I do anything. I would say dp is the biggest life stealer.


@coffeeGirl19 Yes. My body feels so odd to me, like I can't feel it, but I can. I hate this


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## Jesubz (Jan 14, 2018)

Some thoughts about what you guys are saying. I don't say this is something for everyone, I certainly was not ready untill just a few months ago. Maby something here will calm you down 

Gather energy to meet an old friend from the time you want to remember and talk. Or just let him/her do the talking. Or find someone that has recovered and have a chat. The latter was the best thing that happened to me.

Things do pop up from some dusty old box somewhere in you. It's just a way to see what you were. Take what you want from it and BELIEVE your thoughts about the old you. Cause you still have thoughts. Even if it is just a fraction of the void you need to fill. A fraction of hope. Helps me atleast..

To feel real you need to be real and how do you know? You dont and you didn't back then! No worries, it's up to you what you are. You still have an experience and isn't that what life is?

You don't need your past, you're going to make a new past and your doing it now. Try to create new memorys. Maby invite a friend and redecorate a little and you will see this later and remember it. 1 year ago I would say to myself that I have no idea what im talking about. Maby your body will come back when you allow it to.

How far I've come. You will get further.


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