# From "feeling unreal" to "feeling good!"



## Tandem (Oct 20, 2011)

For the past week, I have been bed ridden, extremely depressed and suicidal. I had to stay with my mother, and she kept a close eye on me. I was exhausted, and slept 12 hours a day. The only reason I didn't sleep 16 hours is because I had to piss. It was weird, because one day I was fine with DP. It upset me, sure, but I could handle it. I was going to school and such. Then, Tuesday last week, I woke up suicidal, extremely depressed, etcetera. An appointment was given to me to see the supervisor of my p-doc. We talked for a while; I answered tedious questions... nothing I hadn't been asked before. He said I have a severe anxiety disorder, with depression and DPDR - tell me something I don't know, right? Now, we have ruled out psychosis and other mental illness, and we are quite sure that I have what he said - severe anxiety, depression, DPDR.

Well...

During the week that I was sitting at home, I had plenty of time to sulk in my own pathetic misery. I thought about it so much, that DP became very boring to me.

Did you ever realize how hard it is to count sheep in order to fall asleep? This is because the brain forces you to think more interesting thoughts. This began to happen to me with my thoughts and worries about DP. Like I said, they got very boring and I started thinking about other things.

Today, I went back to school. I saw my friends. I saw my girlfriend, who is very supportive and kind to me. Everything just felt a lot better. School wasn't even a distraction. I mean, sure... it distracted me from DP... but even when I thought about DP, the symptoms didn't come rushing back. I actually was able to acknowledge that I was feeling a bit better! Amazing, right?

It's all in your head. You have the strength in yourself to get rid of DP, I -PROMISE-. I don't want to sound like I think I have it worse than anyone else, and yeah, I know, I've only had DP for about 6 weeks. Maybe the fact that I'm powering out of it in the early stage helps, but I truly believe anyone can escape this horrible surreal realm.

I'm probably not going to be on this website often, any more. As I start to feel better, I think it's important that I stop associating "I" with "Depersonalization" and other mental disorders.

I'd like to thank some people who have been a help to me. Thank you to Soul Seeker, Forestx5, anarkii, and Steph Marie. There have been many other people who have given me something to help my situation, and you will all know who you are.

With that, goodbye. If you need to talk, email [email protected]


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