# 85.5% there ;) - please read



## david_1 (Jul 19, 2014)

Hey all!

I'm David and a few months back I had an anxiety attack on weed and alcohol. The day before that I also took one 10mg pill of oxycontin and before that I'd do one or two 10mg pills weekly for about two weeks. The day after I had the anxiety attack my mind felt blurred and objects were moving around me. I thought it was odd and probably just a hang over or I still had weed in my system, the next day I felt the same and thought something was up. So I started looking around and started to get anxiety here and there when I was reading the weed might have been laced and caused brain damage (I kind of find it funny looking back now) then my mind started to become fogged. The day after that I finally came to the conclusion what it probably was - depersonalization, which sent my anxiety through the roof.

The following weeks it was extremely hard to watch TV, follow what people were saying in conversations, background noises seemed unorgiazationed, and a little blurriness around my eyes - just like a dream, this is when I was ready for change. I started looking up cures and all I could find is these silly rip-off books and DP horror stories about people having it for 30 or 40 years (which didn't help my anxiety any). So I started my own research, and who's better to research a mental condition (not a real condition - will explain later) than the person that currently has it and can explain it? So here's what I found/doing currently -

1. DP is not a real mental disorder. Most DP is triggered and controlled by anxiety and our thought process in the brain. It's the same thought process of loving someone, and that's not considered a mental disorder. Love is something our brain analyzed and wishes to keep in it as long as you still want to love that person. But once you stop loving that person (or try stopping) it doesn't happen instantly because your brain's thought process is so used to being in love.

With thus being said no drug in the world will change your thought process away from DP. DP is 100% curable, but it's up-to you to change your thought process (this is why CBT works so well - it retrains your brain). So what do we do when we are in heart break? We try to get out, forget about, and move on. It's the same thing with DP! It's easier said than done and in most cases of DP some CBT has to be done and you don't have to see a therapist or psychologist for this CBT - simple CBT steps:

- Get rid of anxiety. (anxiety is the heart of CBT). Do breathing techniques, get enough sleep, eat right, avoid high energy drinks and soda as much as possible. Also exercise!

- Stop serotonin intake such as melatonin. Serotonin is naturally produced and balanced out by the body. Serotonin was shown in multiple cases to make the brain worse. So take as much vitamins as you can for your body to aid the brain and rest of the body, just make sure the vitamin does not interfere with the serotonin.

- SLOWLY face what triggers your anxiety. Mine was weed, every-time I looked at it, heart about it, or smelt it my DP would get worse. So I figured out if I stay in this bubble of fear, I'd always have the anxiety which will make the DP stay around longer. So slowly I've been going back to seeing it and smelling it (won't ever smoke it, but this is okay - as long as I don't fear it) and this has calmed me down by 60-75%. Don't face your fears too fast, because it might cause worse DP or the chance of relapse (if you relapse, that's okay - I did once and you just have to take it more slowly).

- Tell yourself you are okay and getting better. As I said, there's nothing wrong with your brain except yourself. As long as you keep that 'I have DP and won't ever get better' attitude in your brain, it'll stay there. Tell yourself to get better and track your accomplishments in a log to look back for the days it feels like you need some additional motivation. Don't ever tell yourself you don't have DP, because it'll make it worse. After awhile of this self-help you will feel normal again and that's when you can say you don't have it any more - you'll know the day. This will also calm yourself down.

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DP will stay around as long as you want it to stay (this is where these 30 or 40 years of suffering stories are coming from). The day you decide to get better, you will. It's not an overnight process, I have been working on this for two or three months, don't keep track of the time! Let your body take it's natural course. This also goes for the people that have 'accepted' DP and are okay with living with it, since you 'accepted' it your brain is okay and then it'll never go away until you change your thought process. Social contact with others helping you to forget the DP is there also works great.

As far as I go, I feel 80-85% better depending on the day. Bright lights still hurt my eyes, sometimes I forget things easily, I day dream here and there, feel tired sometimes, and cloudy at times. But this a big improvement from not being able to verbalize with people and in a zombie state. I will update as I find other things that work and as I get better.

Thanks for your time and best of wishes to everyone! It's not an easy battle, but it's beatable.


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## Guest (Aug 21, 2014)

I agree with you but don't you think accepting it is crucial? Acknowledging your current state and being okay with it will lessen your anxiety.


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## david_1 (Jul 19, 2014)

Accepting it as in knowing you have that state of mind? Yes that's something that needs to be done. Accepting it and thinking it's completely okay to live with and make the best out of things (how 35% of people on here feel) no. That's just going to keep you in that state of mind.


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## Guest (Aug 22, 2014)

I agree with you completely but I think that saying "Look I have this shitty disorder right now but I might as well not waste my time and make the absolute best of my time in this state" will go a long way. If you ruminate about it that is not good. But if you stay positive and live your life normally while having DP, it will go away faster. It will also aid you when recovered. When looking back on your time DPd you wont be as fearful of it casue you remembered that you could still live and enjoy things with it.


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## Noooooope (Jun 25, 2014)

Thanks David! I needed this post. Are you able to tell me your symptoms? Or what symptoms you had? From start to now?


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## david_1 (Jul 19, 2014)

Lina2014 said:


> Thanks David! I needed this post. Are you able to tell me your symptoms? Or what symptoms you had? From start to now?


It's funny because the first few days of having it the symptoms weren't bad at all. I just felt like I was still high and things moving around me. The day I found out I had the DP is when it got worse with the following days. This was the anxiety getting to me which makes DP worse. The typical symptoms I had when I first started out was just being mute (I felt too uncomfortable to talk - so I mainly listened to music), noises around me and in the background were disorganized and far away even if they were only a few feet from me, things moved around a little, had a really tired feeling, and fear of actually sleeping and not knowing what would come the next day. These feelings would last all day and never change.

Today I have different feelings depending on where I am. If I am at work then I feel tired and sometimes get 'spaced out' from things but nothing else, if I am with friends I actually feel 95% normal but there's something that feels a little wrong (never figured it out yet), or if I am on a fire/ems call I'll just have headaches but everything else feels about 95% normal. If I am alone I just have pressure in my head, sometimes feel tired, and sometimes go into a day dreaming type of state. I am also a little forgetful to really forgetful at times throughout the day. Once I left my phone in the fridge to get a drink and didn't notice until it went off, but I am guessing that's just the little brain fog sticking around.


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## david_1 (Jul 19, 2014)

3ean said:


> I agree with you completely but I think that saying "Look I have this shitty disorder right now but I might as well not waste my time and make the absolute best of my time in this state" will go a long way. If you ruminate about it that is not good. But if you stay positive and live your life normally while having DP, it will go away faster. It will also aid you when recovered. When looking back on your time DPd you wont be as fearful of it casue you remembered that you could still live and enjoy things with it.


I can agree with not allowing it to interfere with your life and stop you from being happy but people need to also realize it's not a normal state for the body to be in.


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## 3ean (Aug 14, 2014)

Couldn't agree more. Natural causes but not a normal state to persistently be in and a state that needs to be gotten out of.


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## Paradise92 (Aug 26, 2014)

Hey David. you have had chronic DP after panic attack?

I smocked weed one month ago , and panick attack.. After that I always feel dizzy, and I see blurry in the distance..

you felt the same?


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