# thank you Dakota Joe



## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

it's been quite a few years since i used this site when in a totally blown out existential fear state and there was a user then called Dakota Joe who who resonated at the time. If you're still around, thank you and hope life's good for you these days


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

Was Dakota Joe the guy who would save the world from the horrors of Benzo withdrawal? If so, I remember him vividly (if not fondly).


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

yes, I am recovered although the memory/awareness is still there. and yes he was the benzo withdrawal guy; think he rubbed a few members up the wrong way but I could relate to his dp experience more than the others here at the time.


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## Bpsnarak (Dec 2, 2018)

What was your existential fear, if you don't mind me asking? I'm going through an existential terror (fear of existence/life/reality) right now and wonder if you could share about how you recovered from it? Thanks


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

the first episode was in my early twenties (so 25 years ago) and lasted about 9 months. the heightened state of awareness of space/eternity with extra bright light and overly real reality was coupled with pure fear. at the time i just needed to be knocked out but no-one at that time, where I lived, had a clue about dp. i would have topped myself except that I believed that i would be trapped in that state of dp if I didn't see it through until i returned (in the hope that this would happen). I still have a fear of returning to dp after death but am working on it. I quit college (returned a year later) and just walked around the city for most of the 9 months (often drinking alcohol to try to deaden it which probably didn't help) and think time eventually brought me back.

the second episode was in my mid 30's (when i found and joined this site) and was not as extreme as the first, although still horrific, and lasted about 3 months. this episode came on after an ectopic pregnancy and so i think it was probably related to hormones. I was a teacher at the time so was able to have time off work due to the ectopic. Again I think time gradually helped. I tried some meds during this time (diagnosed as anxiety/depression as doctors where i lived had no idea about dp. probably still don't). anyway the meds made things worse so i stopped taking them.

i've been fine now for years (with the occasional wobble when I'm fearful that I might return into a dp state) and run a lot which I think helps. I live a fairly stress-free life, off-grid in a wooded area, which i also think helps as spend a lot of my time outside growing stuff. life's good


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

I shouldn't have stated I didn't remember Dakota Joe fondly. However, he was very intense about the evils of benzo medications. It never occurred to him that other's mileage could vary with this medication.

For me, Klonopin was a life saver. It was all they would prescribe for me, so I took it like another might take Xanax. I felt it activate in my system as I assume others felt Xanax. It was calming and reassuring.

There were many days it allowed me to complete my work day without going home sick (from anxiety).

I never had side effects, and I never had withdrawal issues. So, it was difficult to listen to Joe go on and on about the horrors of the medication,

and how it destroyed him. I got to thinking, that if it wasn't a benzo, it would have been something else. Some people are just ready to be destroyed. LOL


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## MyBattle (Oct 23, 2018)

forestx5 said:


> I shouldn't have stated I didn't remember Dakota Joe fondly. However, he was very intense about the evils of benzo medications. It never occurred to him that other's mileage could vary with this medication.
> 
> For me, Klonopin was a life saver. It was all they would prescribe for me, so I took it like another might take Xanax. I felt it activate in my system as I assume others felt Xanax. It was calming and reassuring.
> 
> ...


Benzo's were a life saver for me too, truly... till they turned on me. I remember saying the exact same thing to people. But if you withdraw a few times or somehow your brain gets sensitised or tolerant or whatever I dont know the exact science I used them for 6 years but never daily and never over a few weeks but still the last time I withdrew it was a horrorshow, the withdrawal is horrible. It really is.... Benzo's have their place for emergencies or very strict supervision by a benzowise doc (which 99% aren't) But for some people like me and many other's they are the worst drug to withdrawal from.


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