# Not sure if derealization or just SEVERE brain fog



## XXXTentacion (Aug 1, 2017)

Hi guys first time poster here, finally have the will to actually do something with myself.

Ok so i've been in this constant cloud for about a year and half, and after countless googling for wtf is wrong with me i'm at my limit, just hopeless.

My main symptoms are:

Severe fatigue, I just want to lie down whenever I can and i'm really tired all the time, too tired to speak properly or even think sometimes

Brain feels like cotton wool, almost zero thought proccess, everything seems blurry and foggy, my eyesight is getting worse and I can barerly focus my eyesight although I have gone to an eye specialist and I only have mild Astigmatism

Can't think of any desires, anything that I want, I feel drunk all the time zombie mode, my hearing is sometimes bad, memory is non existent-can barerly run through what I did today, cant speak properly anymore most sentences come out jumbled and I really need to focus to even speak like a normal human being.. just writing this post right now is taking all the concentration in the world for me.

Anyways I don't know how this all started, I think it started slowly and is gradualy became worse, countless blood tests, iron, thyroid, everything is normal..

Now I dont know if what I have is derealization or just brain fog from whatever reason that I am unable to find. doctors are clueless and no help, I get sent to psychiatrists right away..

I was wondering this because I've came to understand most of you guys dont feel self aware, but I do, like I dont feel im an alien or I dont exist or something, my perception is just altered, and I just feel drunk tired and blurry-spaced out,I also never really had a panic attack, although I am quite stressed out because of this. I cant focus on life anymore and just feel stoned 24/7. How can anyone live like this ? My brain is working at about 15% output it feels like.

It feels like my brain is just not getting enough blood or oxygen or whatever, doesn't feel like im in a dream or im non-existent. What do you guys think ?

Anyone having the same symptoms as me but are self aware ?

I have to admit my self-awareness is not 100% but I don't feel foreign to myself. I just feel really, really fucked up.

This is truly the most horrible thing I could imagine happening to anybody, I'd rater be handicapped but with a properly functioning brain.

god damn it.

plz halp


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Hi sorry no ones replyed to your post 
It kinda does sound like DEREALIZATION the fog your in and your memory is bad the cotten wool head feeling and your vision being strange .

My memory bad and i do have at times that cotten wool head feeling not always though .
I have mild dp at the moment and my sense of self is more back but not 100% 
When the dp is hetic i feel out of my body and alien to everything .
The thing is ive read that one doesn't need to have every listed symptom of dp dr to have dp or dr .

Before this started were you taking any prescription meds ? And illigal drugs ? 
Any major stress ? And illness ? 
Panic attacks ? 
Other mental health issues ?


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## REB (Aug 2, 2016)

You've got the Blank Mind, sir. Look it up on here. It's actually a rather common comorbidity among DP sufferers.

Just like you i'm also experiencing an idiopathic decline in visual acuity.


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Goddamn I could've written this word for word. Identical. What the actual fuck is this? I still don't even really get it after all these years.


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## dolphin (Jun 3, 2016)

you just described all my symptoms :sad: to be totally honest this still feels like something neurological to me, but MRI/EEG/blood work have ruled out everything and if that's the case for you too, then it has to be psycholgical

agreed though, I would legitimately cut off all my limbs to be free of this crap .. It's no way to live


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## XXXTentacion (Aug 1, 2017)

allison84 said:


> Hi sorry no ones replyed to your post
> It kinda does sound like DEREALIZATION the fog your in and your memory is bad the cotten wool head feeling and your vision being strange .
> 
> My memory bad and i do have at times that cotten wool head feeling not always though .
> ...


Well I did smoke weed and I think it gradually made it worse but honestly now I feel like iv'e been living like this for all my life. I really can't remember the last time I had mental clarity and acuity. I was always freaking lazy and unproductive even as a kid all I did was play videogames and barerly made it through highschool with average grades. I do have major stress but the thing is what causes my stress is this state of mine, its like a vicious cycle !

Also now that I don't have a brain I keep worrying about my looks and being very superficial about everything, It's that bad that I became suicidal because I think im too tall lol [6'7] and other stupid shit like that.


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