# Noisy Neighbors



## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

I'm especially crabby today and would like some advice...

My downstairs neighbors have sex VERY LOUDLY up to several times a day. More power to 'em for getting their groove on, but they keep their window wide open. Maybe it wouldn't even be so bad if she didn't sound like a dying giraffe.

When they first moved in my boyfriend and I thought it was hilarious and highly entertaining--but months later it's just annoying. We close our window, turn on music, etc. and we can still hear everything. It's like there's a speaker piping directly into our apartment. I've even worn earplugs for godsakes.

Once at 5:30 in the morning I slammed our window shut hoping they'd get the hint but she got even louder. Unless they're both mentally handicapped I'm assuming they know we can hear them. Some people get off on that...but c'mon!

How do you go about telling someone that the sound of them having sex is making you want to jump out of the window? Or can you?


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

Leave them a note sometime. It'd be funny.


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

Open up the crazy bag for a while. Just bang on their door and rant gibberish at them, make them think you're a total crack-pot. Even better barge in on them and do it.

If people think you're mental (and we all know we're not really mental but it's fun to pretend) they're far more inclined to do what you say.

I often wonder if the people who seem the craziest really are, or if they just don't care what people think and just want to have some fun. I'm contemplating wandering round town screaming for a while, just to see how it feels. I bet it's fun...


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## Guest (Apr 30, 2007)

suz said:


> Open up the crazy bag for a while. Just bang on their door and rant gibberish at them, make them think you're a total crack-pot. Even better barge in on them and do it.
> 
> If people think you're mental (and we all know we're not really mental but it's fun to pretend) they're far more inclined to do what you say.
> 
> I often wonder if the people who seem the craziest really are, or if they just don't care what people think and just want to have some fun.


That's probably THE funniest post I have ever read on this site.

I'm contemplating wandering round town screaming for a while, just to see how it feels. I bet it's fun...ROFLOL :lol:

Greg


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

LOL...good advice all around. Maybe I could combine the two suggestions and write a note that goes something like this...

Dear Dying Giraffe,

If you have any aspirations of becoming a porn star, please reconsider. The sound of your orgasms echoing through the court yard make people want to hurt you and themselves. Close your fucking window. Consider getting into S & M and try out a ball gag.

Cordially,
The people upstairs


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## Guest (Apr 30, 2007)

No, you just topped it.LOLOLOLOLOL :lol:

Greg


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

Im still the same person said:


> No, you just topped it.LOLOLOLOLOL :lol:
> 
> Greg


Aww shucks... I was just feeling so proud too.

I have to agree though, the letter is marvellous. One of the best laughs I've had for as long as I can remember.

Thank you for that.

:lol:


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## Guest (Apr 30, 2007)

I thank you both, I am still laughing about it :lol:

Greg


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## Cam (Dec 13, 2006)

suz said:


> Open up the crazy bag for a while. Just bang on their door and rant gibberish at them, make them think you're a total crack-pot. Even better barge in on them and do it.


LOL :lol: you win. 
I can just picture it :lol: :lol: :lol:

BB


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## Snowy (Aug 10, 2004)

ap


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

Dear Jim,

Could be fix it for me to be *totally* goddamn crazy for a day?

Sincerely, Suz.


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## Guest (May 1, 2007)

HalfAPerson said:


> and would like some advice...
> 
> My downstairs neighbors have sex VERY LOUDLY up to several times a day.


Awww look at the cute little bunnies goin at it:










*Hour later*:










Served with shrooms


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

> Open up the crazy bag for a while


Tee hee. I couldn't agree more. Excellent reply.

I had a similar incident in Sainsbury's (supermarket) the other day. My mother popped around for a coffee and a chat, and I was just wearing shorts and my slippers, as you do when you're out of work and bored. She then decided that she needed to go to Sainsburys to get some peat for her garden and would I mind doing the heavy lifting. So of course I agreed, and it being the middle of the day on a Tuesday, I assumed the place would be empty, so just put on a t-shirt and went with her.

To cut a long story short, the f*****g place was packed. And there was me, shuffling around after my mother, in slippers and shorts, looking like I had just escaped from an institution.

We were followed all the way around the shop by security. Tee hee.


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## Guest (May 1, 2007)

Martin said:


> To cut a long story short, the f*****g place was packed. And there was me, shuffling around after my mother, in slippers and shorts, looking like I had just escaped from an institution.
> 
> We were followed all the way around the shop by security. Tee hee.


ROFLOL :lol: This thread just keeps getting better


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

Yes, it's made me crack up laughing...so it's helping me put the murder plot on hold for now.

I've spent so much of my life trying to keep the crazy bag closed...I've forgotten that it's okay to let the loon roam free occasionally.


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

> To cut a long story short, the f*****g place was packed. And there was me, shuffling around after my mother, in slippers and shorts, looking like I had just escaped from an institution.


GAWD!! I wish I was there, top notch!


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## Guest (May 22, 2007)

So HalfAPerson, did you sort your neighbour's out.
Did you write a letter or go with the crazy bag option? 

Greg


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

I vote for start acting completly insane. Go over there and start ranting your head off about people taking your thoughts away from you, aliens living down the road and why don't you notice them to, how the government is constantly spying on you, and tell them how floridation in the water system causes you to become a communist. Stole that last one from dr.strangelove great movie.

Id bet theyd be out of there or atleast shut the hell up pretty quick.


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

They've been strangely quiet since I posted the original message.

Do one of YOU live downstairs? Eek.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

What did you post HalfaPerson?

Personally, I'd just stand outside their door, all day, in your dressing gown, drooling a little, swaying and little, and laughing VERY loudly for no apparent reason, followed by a good old sob. Hmm, and perhaps you should hold a lampshade or something under your arm. Something totally inappropriate to stroke. And shout f**k-knuckle, p**s-wank and titty-bollocks a lot.

Explain to the police that it was a practical joke.


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

I think she meant that everything had hushed a little since she first posted about it on here, therefore she wonders if it was one of us living underneath her. I think anyway, bear in mind I'm a bit dumb.

I like your idea though Martin; and yours comfortably numb... the 'crazy' route is always the best in my mind. :lol:


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

Suz, you are indeed brilliant 

Since I don't ever see these people (which in itself is a bit disturbing) I assume one of them must be out of town. He may be military. Or they've broken up even. What I DO know is that it's QUIET.

And Martin, what you've described is how I behave on a GOOD day  Seriously though, I think I will add 'f*ck-knuckle' to my vocabulary. Love it.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Quiet eh? Hmm...sounds suspiscious to me. Have you seen him digging in the back yard, in the middle of the night?


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

Martinelv said:


> Have you seen him digging in the back yard, in the middle of the night?


I read that as 'dogging'. Chuckle.


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

Martinelv said:


> Have you seen him digging in the back yard, in the middle of the night?





suz said:


> I read that as 'dogging'. Chuckle.


HAHAHAHA LOL :lol: Been a while has it suz :wink:

3098 :lol:


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## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

LOL! Have you tried repeatedly knocking on the wall? You could try playing some really gnarly Black Metal.


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

Pollyanna 3098 said:


> HAHAHAHA LOL :lol: Been a while has it suz :wink:
> 
> 3098 :lol:


I was dogging just the other day actually!... :wink:


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## Guest (Jun 1, 2007)

SUZI!!!!... FU*KING SHHHHHHH!!!! don't tell em!!! :evil:


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

oops :roll:


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2007)

Too bloody late now!... you'll have to make it up to me next time :wink:


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

LMAO :lol: ..(Oh, shit :shock: , see's his arse lying on the floor  )

3098


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## Guest (Jun 3, 2007)

NOOOOOoooooooo!!! 

*Sews your ass back on then squeezes it* :lol:


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

That is awesome.


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

Update: They're back at it again. No foul play. No CSI teams need to be involved. However, now that I'm back on medication, the situation no longer makes me want to plunge, screaming, from my window


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## Guest (Jun 5, 2007)

I think I need to express myself next time I get laid...


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