# I have no idea what to do...



## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

Hello everybody...
I have DP for already one year and nine months.I have had dissociation on and off for years, but never for such a long time.
I was drug user for about 12 years (I'm 26 now and it was mostly heroine and meth) and I quit the drugs while I went through really stressful period and I was also getting a treatment for eating disorder. 
I became a street kid while I was still at elementary school and I experienced a few really bad things.
I've got parents, but they've never wanted to be any close with me and I experienced physical and mental violence from them when I was younger and I was put in to a juvie when I was 16, because I didn't live with them.I'm now totally sober for almost two years and came to my parents to ask for help, but they don't want to help me and won't let me stay in there house.Luckily I've got a nice social worker who's helping me to get a flat, but I'm so scared...I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder few years ago, I've got agoraphobia thanks to dp and I barely leave the house...I was used to take care of myself since I was a kid and look at me now...
So this is story in a nutshell.
Thanks to everybody who found some time to read this and I'm sorry for the mistakes I made- English is not my mother language. 
Dalia


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## indie (Aug 6, 2016)

Hi dalia,

I am so sorry. I can only imagine how hard it must be- on top of dp, you have much more to deal with which is incredibly unfortunate. I wish you the best and hopefully we can both find the answers and help we need on our journey to recovery. Congratulations on your sobriety!


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

It improves with time Dalia!

Keep up your sobriety and clean time...Only good will come of it....I myself am a recovering alcoholic and addict (11 years and counting) My life has done a U turn since I quit alcohol and drugs! I havent looked back and it has done my mental health issues the world of good...

I wish you well !


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## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

Thank you so much for saying that!It gave me some hope and I really needed that.
Congrats for quitting drugs and alcohol!!!Can I ask you how long are you clean?It's really ironic that when I finally decided to get off the drugs I got in to a dream like state again..


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

11 years and 7 months now since I put an illegal drug or any alcohol into my body...I promise that once you stay clean and sober that dream like state you describe will fade....It just doesnt happen overnight though ....The big problem with DP is with both the persistence of the condition and also how long it takes to fade into the distance......But eventually it does get easier.....Some people learn to live with it, some recover completely but everybody improves once they start looking after themselves better....Try and eliminate toxic people and environments, reduce your stress levels and get plenty of sleep and rest if you can....It gets better! I promise ya!!!


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## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

Wow, that's really awesome!!!Congrats for being sober for such a long time.Are you dealing with dp all the time since you quit the drugs and everything?You just hit the nail on the head tho - I must admit that I'd probably never change anything and I'd keep on letting people run over me.This is exactly what I needed to know - that it will I'm improve with time.Thank you so much for your help, it really means a lot to me.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Dp has been part of my life for along time now...But with the aid of medicine and lifestyle changes (less stress, more rest, eating better, walking etc etc) it has become manageable...Its always there in the background and does rear its ugly head every once in a while to knock me back but i usually recover quickly now...I think over time the symptoms become more recognisable and as a result less disturbing and with that the fear of the condition fades...

I am far from recovered or cured but i live a reasonably happy lifestyle...I work 4 days a week, enjoy sports and other hobbies... i basically do things that are good for "ME" now and things that I enjoy....It doesnt mean i do nothing for others (far from it) It just means i put my mental health and sobriety first before everything else....Basically if either of these are in danger I avoid either the situations or people causing the problems....I keep my side of the street clean and let others get on with their own crap....But if people really genuinely need me im there for them (but only if its a genuine problem)


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## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

If you don't mind me asking...do you live alone?I'm now searching for a flat and I don't know if it's worse to live completely alone or with roommates (but I don't know the people at all).I hate being alone in general, but I'm scared that it could worsen the stress, so I really have no idea...

This is something that I actually realized after getting dp-I need to start putting myself first and not to stress over other people's problems.I'm not saying I already act like that, but I'm learning it.

Have you ever had any problems with going out thanks to dp?

I really struggle with this and I leave the house as little as possible to be honest.


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## gygjghbj (Sep 26, 2013)

Time and self-care is all you can really do. Try and not to dwell on your current state. The mind is a powerful tool when you reach the ability to use it.


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## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

I guess that you are right and I should simply stop observing everything so much...


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## Amina_x (Nov 22, 2014)

Proud of you for staying sober! It seems like you have reached out to get help but have you seen any mental health professionals? I know there might be ones who will come to your house. My counselor and recovery clinician come to my house once a week.


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## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

Thank you so much!!!I only have a psychiatrist and I was in a psych ward for like 2 weeks.I did a research on the internet if there's any service like that in my country and I only found one in the capital city and nothing in my area yet.But I e-mailed my psychitrist and asked her if she doesn't know about something here...so we'll see...


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## Photogenic_Potato (Mar 16, 2016)

your english was perfect, better than anyone born in america ill tell you that lol. We're all in the same boat my love and we're all here for eachother. Just let us know if you need anything.


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## Sugar Dalia (Aug 6, 2016)

Haha, thanks a lot!That honestly made my day.I'm so glad I found this site, it's really nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with this.And again-thank you, I'll surely take you up on your offer one day.


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