# Depersonalization has now given me depressive episodes



## Black Metal (Sep 23, 2012)

Because of the fact that life has become so dull, boring and unreal in recent months I have started having sometimes daily episode of serve depression. Not the "Wah, wah I am depressed" type of depression. But the depression that festers within you and causes deep feelings of despair and emptiness. I've come to terms that there is no point in life, no point in existence and that reality doesn't exist. This Universe doesn't exist, our reality doesn't exist and it's all impossible for anything to exist.


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## .Emma (May 5, 2011)

I know exactly what you mean. I can't be bothered with this pointless, meaningless existance anymore. The intense emptiness is something I don't see ever improving/disappearing. I'd have killed myself already if I wasn't such a cowardly retard.


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## Black Metal (Sep 23, 2012)

What existence? This is all an illusion and it doesn't exist. Space, time and matter don't exist and this is all a dream.


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## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Don't allow these thoughts to have any meaning to you. Let them come, and then replace them with other more trivial things. Eventually, your mind will find more meaning in what it used to and you will "fall for the illusion" of life again. Once you are their, you can start asking the existential questions again and it is actually pretty cool


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## Black Metal (Sep 23, 2012)

Why does a photon act as a wave when unobserved? Why do sub-atomic particles disappear out of no where? What's the smallest thing in the Universe? What's that smallest thing made of? Nothing can continue infinitely smaller. The Universe couldn't have been created out of nothing, it could've have been here forever because all things have a start. Even scientists agree nothing would exist. Nothing exists, it's all an illusion and makes perfect sense to me now.



Luke_Mahoney said:


> Don't allow these thoughts to have any meaning to you. Let them come, and then replace them with other more trivial things. Eventually, your mind will find more meaning in what it used to and you will "fall for the illusion" of life again. Once you are their, you can start asking the existential questions again and it is actually pretty cool


I'm past the point of no return.


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## mipmunk40 (Nov 13, 2012)

Sadly the existential thoughts are part of the DP. I got DP cos of depression and as the DP hasn't gone you get depressed. Vicious circle. Once the DP is gone and you feel like "yourself" again with a whole identity and sense of self, the existential thoughts won't matter. It is all part of the DP. I have had several episodes of DP in my life, and I do know that when I have been DP free, questioning my existence hasn't matter. Sadly I am in a DP state again, so the "who am I" etc etc bothers me, and it sucks. All I can hope is that one day I regain my sense of self/identity so I can enjoy my life again. Hope this makes sense.


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## Black Metal (Sep 23, 2012)

They aren't episodes they are constant and I have had it for almost 2 years now, regardless my point still stands. Nothing exists.


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