# complete emptiness



## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

For the passed 3 months now I've been suffering with what I thought to be a very bad depression. I have been depressed before but not nearly this bad. My main problem is that I am completely unable to feel any kind of emotion. I don't feel happiness, sadness, joy, anger, fear.....nothing. I feel everyday that i'm just going through the motions doing what i'm supposed to be doing. I no longer get pleasure out of any activity - eating, sports, weightlifting, even sex. I eat just because i know i have to. I feel like i've died. I haven't been diagnosed with DP but I really think that I have it. Time seems like its stopped. Nostalgic memories no longer move me like they used to. I feel like a complete zombie, completely disconnected. I don't feel 'me' anymore. My head feels cloudy and foggy. This is really starting to scare me and i feel like im going crazy or have already gone crazy.

My doctor has put me on prozac 20mg as he thinks its just depression. I dont really have any obsessive thoughts about reality and existence... I know that i exist and I know i'm still 'here' its just that i dont feel like im here. No matter what kind of thoughts i have there is no feeling behind them. If i think of something i know thats sad, its only a thought, i dont feel like its something sad. Does this sound like DP or is this just depression as my doc suspects? I know you can become emotionally numb/blunted when depressed but i also don't feel any sense of self. I can't connect with anything or anyone. Life is meaningless to me now. Before this I was fine, i was actively into exercising and was completely devoted to being healthy. Now its like i don't care. I've even started smoking which i would never even touch a cigarette prior to this.

I really cant take this anymore.....


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## Guest (Oct 26, 2007)

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## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

Ramza, how log have you been on the Prozac for now?

Please note that it can take a few weeks depending on how bad the depression is for them to work properly. I've been put on Citalopram and so far its been a God send as my DP has lifted quite a lot.

Jimmy


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## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

I've been on the prozac just over 2 weeks now. I'm starting to notice a slight difference in that i'm not worrying as much. It hasn't cleared the emptiness feeling but I feel like its doing something on the depression which i hope in turn will turn my emotions back on. Im trying to be patient with it but i'm just really anxious at getting back to normal. I have a follow up appointment to see my doctor on the 26th so i guess i'll just have to wait until then to see.

I've been able to cope alot easier with this even though alot of the time i'm thinking i appear stupid because i have no feelings to judge my responses to things people are saying or doing. Its like I feel sometimes like im randomly spewing words out and not saying the right things at the right moments even though i'm fully aware of what i'm talking about and what others are talking about. Its such a strange feeling not feeling. It definitely isn't easy living like this.


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## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

Don't worry Ramza. I still felt worse after 2 weeks, give it 4 weeks and you'll really notice the difference.

Don't give up on the meds, give them time, they will work.

Jimmy


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## christodenisto2 (Oct 13, 2007)

Hello Ramza,

I hope to God your prozac works.

I have been completely numb for over a year now. 
7 meds and 6 psychiatrists later, I am still a zombie.

It will be interesting to see if prozac brings your emotions back, because
I have been told by an expert in emotional numbing that SSRIs like Prozac only blunt your emotions further.

Tell us all how you go.


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## ChrisBo (Oct 13, 2007)

I have the emotional numbness like you too, I hate it, because it's so distressing not feeling anything, and I get so insecure about myself like, would I want those jeans? would I really like this music if I got my emotions back, I've had it for like 2 years now.. from time to time I get like emotions back, but not in full range, only a small hand of it.

I understand exactly what you're going through, I sometimes wish I could be sad again and cry or anything, because I just want to feel like ''me'' again.
seems like I'm on autopilot or something.


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## ramza04 (Oct 25, 2007)

Yeah its like i know what kind of stuff still interests me but i dont feel any pleasurable interest in those things at all anymore. My favorite music is just sound, my new car is just a piece of metal, i only eat because i know i have to. Sometimes when i listen to music i feel a tiny bit of emotion and it gives me this tingly sensation in my arms like my emotions are trying so hard to break through my skin but this block my mind has set up just doesnt let up. I pray this prozac works. I notice i feel a little more like myself through each passing day but i feel no change in my emotions coming back yet at all i do actually feel a bit number which is hard to believe. I'm hoping maybe its just the side effects and that they'll clear up after a while so when this depression clears my emotions will turn back on.

You say you talked to an expert on emotional numbing and its for certain all SSRIs numb emotions further? What kinds of meds have you tried? I'm open to trying anything at this point.


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## christodenisto2 (Oct 13, 2007)

hey ramza,

when I started trying medications last year, I hadn't done any research and hadn't met the expert.

I had a psychiatrist who had never seen numbness before.

she tried me on antipsychotics and antidepressants.
they were zirprasidone, olanzapine, aripiprizole, amisulphride, 
zoloft, effexor and avanza

I would say don't bother with any of those.

It is not for certain that SSRIs wont work, it is just probable.
Maybe you will strike it lucky!

According to my expert, opiate antagonists are the way to go, at high doses.

I am still numb and am hoping to God that this will work. I will probably 
start on it in a few weeks.


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## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

My emotions haven't numbed any further through SSRI use.

I seem to be fine on them, need to get laid now though cause they're really helping my main man!


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

Without antidepressants I cannot function. I'm taking paxil and even tho Im not cured it brought back some of emotions.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Ssri's could work i wouldnt see why they would cause emotional numbing in everyone. If your problem is serotonin they could be just the ticket. Just because a drug or a certain group of drugs don't work for someone doesent mean that they won't work for somebody else.

Prozac takes awile to work id give it 4 weeks atleast to see if you notice anything. It might help if not then try something else. There are other anti-depressants besides ssri's as well that you could try. Remeron (mirtazapine) is a pretty good one in my opinion. Wellbutrin (bupropion) is one that could help with emotional blunting as it's a dopamine norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor thus it's stimulating.

I had emotional blunting alot with dp/dr and brain fog. I felt nothing but anxiety, panic attacks and well my mood swings too. But there another issue altogether.

Clonazepam which is a benzodiazepine got rid of all that stuff for me. After my dp/dr and brain fog went so did my emotional blunting. I actually felt like a human again. So benzodiazepines are another option too.


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