# Were we chosen to suffer for a greater purpose?



## melbilnz (Oct 31, 2009)

I have an awesome friend who I talk to. She is crippled by agoraphobia and PTSD much like us with depersonalization. While we were talking, a subject came up about how a some souls enter grace by being purified through flames.

Really, was I that great of a person before dp? I did drugs, had a huge anger problem, was cynical, selfish, etc. While I sit here and suffer, have ups and downs, I see my old self melt away and turn into one that wants to feel love, has learned what poisoning your mind and body can do, and had to have his ego ripped away to see that anger is not the way.

If one person can have DP and another person live a life of joy and reality, then God allows both states to exist, he has no limits if he is omnipotent.

I sometimes think we may have been secretly blessed, we were chosen to go through an anguish few people can understand in order to see what glory is. Just a thought I had today.


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## ntt89 (Nov 8, 2009)

Me and my friend will bring this topic up a lot. We both suffer from similar ailments only he isnt on legal meds. I'm having some real med troubles lately, switching back and forth from zoloft to luvox and now ive been prescribed respiridone and im weary to take it. Im thinking i should have kept going with the withdrawals and got off of this shit for good.
ah well. 
But anywho, back to your post. I believe there are some biblical stories that actually relate to what your saying. People being put through hardships to test their purity and to teach them what matters or to "test their faith" if you will. It seems to help my friend out a lot.


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## Tim (Jul 17, 2009)

melbilnz said:


> I have an awesome friend who I talk to. She is crippled by agoraphobia and PTSD much like us with depersonalization. While we were talking, a subject came up about how a some souls enter grace by being purified through flames.
> 
> Really, was I that great of a person before dp? I did drugs, had a huge anger problem, was cynical, selfish, etc. While I sit here and suffer, have ups and downs, I see my old self melt away and turn into one that wants to feel love, has learned what poisoning your mind and body can do, and had to have his ego ripped away to see that anger is not the way.
> 
> ...


i cant help but agree, i personally doubt religion but even if it has nothing to do with god it is a positive thought. i, like you, did drugs, partied and had the mindset of a child, like most of my high school still does. and im positive that DP has matured me, and over all made me a more compassionate person. and i think that has allot to do with the whole "observer" aspect of the disorder, like when people say that its easier to judge other people because you cant truly see yourself. well DP gives us a pretty realistic, and depressing view of ourselves because it lets us live life in third person. i completely understand what your saying, but you word it much better than i can.


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## slimy (Dec 19, 2009)

> im positive that DP has matured me, and over all made me a more compassionate person. and i think that has allot to do with the whole "observer" aspect of the disorder, like when people say that its easier to judge other people because you cant truly see yourself. well DP gives us a pretty realistic, and depressing view of ourselves because it lets us live life in third person. i completely understand what your saying, but you word it much better than i can.


Is that such a bad thing? And would it go away if the DP went away? Would that then be a bad thing? Would it be worth it? Just curious...

PS. first post


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## Tim (Jul 17, 2009)

I don't think the maturity would go away, but people say that when you get better reality feels exactly like it used to. So I think after some time of being better we go back to what we used to be like, except for what we experienced always will be in the back of out heads. It's an interesting thought tho


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## KJameson1959 (Dec 10, 2009)

I often analyze this too. I sometimes wonder if this is just somthing as simple as a "push" to improve my life. I can tell you this, if I ever make it out of this mess alive, and am not going crazy......I am gonna be so damned happy and motivated to get my life together.

Just the sheer thought of being better and living life again gets me excited and I start daydreaming of things I am gonna do when it happens.


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## ZachT (Sep 8, 2008)

Suffering makes your stronger.
Read the book of Job in the Bible.


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## DiscoStick (Dec 13, 2009)

Okay I get why you would think this.
But really, I think that if something has 'graced' my life with this bunch of crap, they're totally sadistic. I was the happiest most bubbly and energetic thing ever before I got any of this. Now I can't do things like charity work or performances as much because I'm being held back, because a large chunk of the time, I'm a cynical and extremely anxious wreck. I refuse to accept that if there is a benevolent God, he would inflict this upon me for any greater purpose. But those are just my thoughts?


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## Brittany329 (Dec 13, 2009)

I somewhat kinda agree...but myself too was a bubbly, outgoing, nice, caring person. didn't do drugs and was always there for my family and friends. Then this hit and I'm a monster. a complete wreck. So that's where I would disagree. But I could see how it's a test to get through to make us all stronger. that makes a lot of sence so let's all make it through and appreciate life so much better than how we did before this.


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## Tim (Jul 17, 2009)

I was never bubbly. :?


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## abovetherim (Dec 18, 2009)

I know some of you guys might think I am crazy, but I feel that having DP/DR has taught me so many things. throughout my life I have gone through tramatic events and long depressing periods of time, overcoming DP/DR is the hardest challenge yet. To note I have had many hard challenges, I put DP ahead of events such as having an organ removed to prevent colon cancer, or another time in my life in which I was with the wrong people making horrible and dangerous decisions (not drug or alcohol related, I have never drank or done drugs or smoked before). I plan on being sucessful one day in the field of radio, sportscasting or TV, I already am involved in a FM high school radio station in Long Island, New York (I graduated last year, I am an alumni helper there). One day I hope to tell the world that having DP/DR is the main reason where I am at in my life.

Everyone God Bless, Happy Holidays to everyone on this forum, this Forum is great since I know that I am not the only one struggling out there.

-Dave


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## dancintrulife (Jun 18, 2009)

I think we cold be, but then I think why did I have to be chosen, I could have happily done without it.


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## Rein (Apr 29, 2008)

Theone2 said:


> Suffering makes your stronger.
> Read the book of Job in the Bible.


Or it brakes you


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