# complete loss of hope in recovery



## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

I cant explain this feeling i get but reading these stories about how to recover, I just know they do not help me at all. I have tried everything but nothing has helped with my symptoms.

There are two things that temporarily block out the noises inside my head they are music and alcohol.

But whenever i lie down to sleep at night I cant describe how disturbing it is watching my thoughts coming from outside of me, listening to something speaking inside my head. Huge panic attacks, total fear like im trapped inside my mind.

How can you stop something like that, when its chronic everything seems utterly pointless like CBT meds etc. It feels like im trying to put a fire out with petrol.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)




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## Guest (Sep 26, 2009)

Dude

I'm not being funny, but everything I've read that you've posted has been misery me oh woe woe woe, it seems like you don't put much effort into living/trying things, but are looking for a magic answer, when there isn't one :/ you need to allow yourself to feel however you feel, so that your brain has a chance to heal and recover. This means doing things and not sitting round focusing on how crap you feel all the time

You've GOT to get out there and try doing stuff, socialising, etc NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS (believe me I've been there, I used to drag myself to work every day, spend half of it crying in the toilets and go straight to bed when I got home) or you will still be moping about on here in another 2 years.

I'm really not trying to be unsympathetic, or nasty - I KNOW how hard it is and how awful the feelings are, but it's time to take back the control. If I can do it, so can you! I'm still not well, but I'm living rather than moping and it makes a world of difference. I hope you've got someone you can talk to or some support?


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

No worries Phased out but I cant explain how chronic a problem it is for me. I dont sit at home, I do go out, I exercise every day, Ive got a network of really close friends, and im quite a solid DJ (playing out etc) Im not depressed atm. Its just when i think about whats inside my head. Its not like DP man, its more like hearing voices. Its horrible man, I cant explain it. Im just hoping this CBT guy Im seeing in Janurary can offer me help or something,


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## Guest (Sep 26, 2009)

dancingwobbler said:


> No worries Phased out but I cant explain how chronic a problem it is for me. I dont sit at home, I do go out, I exercise every day, Ive got a network of really close friends, and im quite a solid DJ (playing out etc) Im not depressed atm. Its just when i think about whats inside my head. Its not like DP man, its more like hearing voices. Its horrible man, I cant explain it. Im just hoping this CBT guy Im seeing in Janurary can offer me help or something,


Ok.......I kinda got the impression from other posts that you considered yourself unable to go out and socialise etc, my bad sorry 
It sounds like yeah you need some other help, hearing voices is not so typical a DP symptom I don't think? Although I may be wrong, I do hear my own thoughts quite a lot but I wouldn't call it hearing voices.
It's good that you're not depressed right now. I think the essence of DP etc is that it is so hard to describe. Fingers crossed for the CBT, if you haven't already I would make sure your doc or psych knows about the voices thing. 
Good luck!


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## creativedp (May 15, 2007)

Decades back when I became aware of dp first I used to get humming noise inside my head. I was alarmed. But neurological tests showed no problems. The humming continued. Now during moments of intense worry I do get the sensation of this humming. If your medical tests show no neurological problems you must assume that it is due to dp.

Now coming to your worry regarding thoughts coming from the outside, watch these thoughts closely the next time they appear. What sort of thoughts seem to come from outside, at other times do you get the feeling that there are thoughts coming from within too. The feeling that the thoughts are coming from the outside may look alarming, such strange feelings are possible. The ways of the mind are inscrutable. May be your fears are playing another trick on your mind. Next time when they appear, just allow them to flow from outside and watch casually from which location outside your mind they appear.

Good luck!


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## Guest (Sep 29, 2009)

creativedp said:


> Decades back when I became aware of dp first I used to get humming noise inside my head. I was alarmed. But neurological tests showed no problems. The humming continued. Now during moments of intense worry I do get the sensation of this humming. If your medical tests show no neurological problems you must assume that it is due to dp.
> 
> Now coming to your worry regarding thoughts coming from the outside, watch these thoughts closely the next time they appear. What sort of thoughts seem to come from outside, at other times do you get the feeling that there are thoughts coming from within too. The feeling that the thoughts are coming from the outside may look alarming, such strange feelings are possible. The ways of the mind are inscrutable. May be your fears are playing another trick on your mind. Next time when they appear, just allow them to flow from outside and watch casually from which location outside your mind they appear.
> 
> Good luck!


I'm not sure I'd agree about 'watching' the thoughts - or do you mean just the once to ascertain their nature?


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## creativedp (May 15, 2007)

Observe your thoughts

To begin with just once. If I were in your position it would give me a wonderful opportunity to study my thoughts especially because it is appearing in this strange manner. I am a student of my dp and all its bizarre appearances. Think of the unique opportunity to know oneself caught up in this fix. Not every one gets this opportunity. Blessed are those who have been spared. But heroic and eminantly human are those who continue to be human in spite of this, THIS.......THIS.


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

Observe the thoughts but *dont judge them*. Let them be.But be aware of them and the emotions that come with them. Dont just let the thoughts go through your mind unnoticed because that is when they take over and become your ego. the crazy thoughts will then create a false identity for you and you will start to believe that is you. just know that you are not your mind. Stop listnening to your mind. empty your mind and be formless, like water. <-- yes i stole that from bruce lee


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