# Damn it...



## Capt-Hook (Aug 22, 2007)

Alright, I don't want to sound like a broken record or anything. But, I'm pretty sure I have DP or DR, not sure which.

When I was 15 I experimented with marijuana. It was laced in something. Had a weird trip. Felt funny in the head. I didn't tell anyone about this. I thought my mother would be angry about drugs (even though this is a bit beyond that :lol: ) and I thought my friends would think I was crazy. It was weird for the first couple weeks but, hey I'm a weird guy and this wasn't thaat bad. I felt numb like my reaction to situations had been dulled down. Instead of being ecstatic over winning a million dollars I would have felt a little happy. It's been four or five years and I've almost completley forgotten the feeling. I say almost because well, I still have it.

Recently though I've been feeling what I can only describe as brief periods of light-headedness. Everything felt very real... Or very fake it was hard to tell and very disorienting. I thought I may have just been tired. But, it happened off and on for a few days. Then one hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt like I would faint. Doctor's told me nothing was wrong. But, a new or more intense feeling had taken over. One that is impossible to ignore as it effects any activity I perform greatly. I can't concentrate or focus. Feels worse when I'm out of the house. I can't exercise or anything. I've had one massive panic attack at the fear of not knowing what was going on. I've been told I've inherited a severe hereditary anxiety disorder which effects almost everyone in my family. I don't feel anxious anymore however and I've been prescribed lorazepam as a quick fix for any panic attacks I may have. Of course, I haven't needed to use it yet due to lack of anxiety.

What I'm trying to figure out is if my past feeling could have all of a sudden manifested into something worse or if this is something different altogether. Any thoughts?


----------



## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

Howdy 

Well I can't diagnose you but it sounds like it could be DP.
do you feel disconnected from yourself or your surroundings?

Very basic: Depersonalization a feeling of detchment from yourself / unreality of the self.
Derealization is the feeling that the world around you is unreal.


----------



## Capt-Hook (Aug 22, 2007)

Yeah, I feel unreal and things seem unfamiliar to me. I looked in the mirror and if I didn't know it was a mirror it would be like seeing myself for the first time. All of my senses feel foggy, like how you described it. I don't know, it's all so weird and hard to describe.


----------

