# Depersonalization On Command?



## blackout15 (Dec 2, 2009)

Last summer, I was lonely and barely socialized at all. I was extremely bored and life was hard for me during that period of time. That's when the DP symptoms first started (anxiety, feeling that I wasn't myself, life was a dream, etc.)..Life became this one big surreal blur for months and I went into a state of deep depression. After many months, by like February, I noticed that it began to go away, and I no longer had any symptoms of DP. Now I really don't feel any symptons except when I THINK about it. If I were to go to a mirror, and think hard about who I am and what I am, I'd suddenly feel that I'm not myself, and I'd have a panic attack. The Symptons don't come on their own anymore, only if I think about it. Does this happen to anyone else? Note: I also fear that when the summer comes again and I stop socializing, that it will come back.


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## Da Vinci (Apr 8, 2010)

blackout15 said:


> Last summer, I was lonely and barely socialized at all. I was extremely bored and life was hard for me during that period of time. That's when the DP symptoms first started (anxiety, feeling that I wasn't myself, life was a dream, etc.)..Life became this one big surreal blur for months and I went into a state of deep depression. After many months, by like February, I noticed that it began to go away, and I no longer had any symptoms of DP. Now I really don't feel any symptons except when I THINK about it. If I were to go to a mirror, and think hard about who I am and what I am, I'd suddenly feel that I'm not myself, and I'd have a panic attack. The Symptons don't come on their own anymore, only if I think about it. Does this happen to anyone else? Note: I also fear that when the summer comes again and I stop socializing, that it will come back.


I can relate to this. You have an easy out though, just don't think about it! Easier said than done though.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Da Vinci said:


> I can relate to this. You have an easy out though, just don't think about it! Easier said than done though.


That's not really the problem to be honest.. the real problem is that whenever you think of it, even if it is just for a second or two, you'll start feeling the symptoms, and then it doesn't matter if you're thinking about it or not, you'll be remembered of it because of the symptoms.. That's my personal experience :<


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## Katezorz (Jan 10, 2010)

My doctor, who has treated many people with depersonalization, says they can all control it once it's "gone". They no longer have dp/dr, but they can all slip into the state whenever they want. When you try and bring on your dp/dr and you have a panic attack, try not to let it scare you. Let it happen, then try and slip back out of it.

I founf it very strange when he told me that. Glad you are doing better!


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## Guest013 (Apr 26, 2010)

Yes, it's like you almost have an alternative way of viewing things. I feel that way now that I'm better. I randomly start looking at something through the lens of someone with depersonalization... then I'm like... wait a second, that's not right... and i readjust and it's back to normal.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

What a load of bullshit that you can control DP once you're out of it!! That is so utterly false! It's DP-hope-propaganda!! Sorry, it's just not the case! You only have slight control when you know what triggers it for you, and what you're 'emotional threshold' are. Don't play with fire, the more you play games with your mind like that the more likely it will come back. And don't think once you've had DP you know how DP feels, I can tell you it's never the same when you get it back. You might think you've seen the worst but chances are you've only seen the beginning of it. If this seems harsh, I apologize, I'm just trying to help you understand that you have to get outside and have fun, and stop pondering about your psyche!


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## blackout15 (Dec 2, 2009)

york said:


> What a load of bullshit that you can control DP once you're out of it!! That is so utterly false! It's DP-hope-propaganda!! Sorry, it's just not the case! You only have slight control when you know what triggers it for you, and what you're 'emotional threshold' are. Don't play with fire, the more you play games with your mind like that the more likely it will come back. And don't think once you've had DP you know how DP feels, I can tell you it's never the same when you get it back. You might think you've seen the worst but chances are you've only seen the beginning of it. If this seems harsh, I apologize, I'm just trying to help you understand that you have to get outside and have fun, and stop pondering about your psyche!


I think you misunderstood that I'm trying to play around with it and bring it on when I feel like it. What I mean is, that if I really analyze myself that I'll slip back into a state of DP, I'm not TRYING to get full-on DP again. And me not socializing isn't my choice, that's something personal which I hate deeply.


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## Katezorz (Jan 10, 2010)

york said:


> What a load of bullshit that you can control DP once you're out of it!! That is so utterly false! It's DP-hope-propaganda!! Sorry, it's just not the case! You only have slight control when you know what triggers it for you, and what you're 'emotional threshold' are. Don't play with fire, the more you play games with your mind like that the more likely it will come back. And don't think once you've had DP you know how DP feels, I can tell you it's never the same when you get it back. You might think you've seen the worst but chances are you've only seen the beginning of it. If this seems harsh, I apologize, I'm just trying to help you understand that you have to get outside and have fun, and stop pondering about your psyche!


Uh. I sure hope you're not telling me my doctor is DP-Hope-propaganda. He says a few of his patients with bipolar disorder got their dp to leave them once they started taking medication, but that a few of them can slip into the state when they try. There is no need to be like that, she wasn't saying she was trying to get into that state per say.


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## Guest (Apr 28, 2010)

I find it very disheartening to learn that DP for those who will recover will be easy still to slip into. I was hoping that if you recover then it's just gone forever pretty much. It really sucks that we should have to suffer for learning/developing dp in the first place, now it will always be just around the corner waiting for us one day.


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

honestly, ever since i joined this forum people have been kept saying they obsess/think about DP and it makes it worse?? i never could relate to that. how can you think of something invisible?

i have dp, and if i were to think about dp i have no clue what to think about, and ive had dp all my life.


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## Katezorz (Jan 10, 2010)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> I find it very disheartening to learn that DP for those who will recover will be easy still to slip into. I was hoping that if you recover then it's just gone forever pretty much. It really sucks that we should have to suffer for learning/developing dp in the first place, now it will always be just around the corner waiting for us one day.


SLipping into the state isn't scary for them because they can slip back out at any moment. Not everyone will be able to slip back into it, he said it was common in his patients with bipolar.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

I don't think that this was true dp in the first place. It may have been just mild depression accompanied with some feelings of dp as a result of your social problems. And when your life improved the depression and dp went away. By bringing on dp by over analyzing yourself reminds me of a mind game that we can play on ourselves. Ever repeat a word over and over in your head until the word completely loses it's meaning? Maybe that's what is happening when you concentrate or analyze yourself too much...your normal feelings temporarily lose their meaning (so to speak) and you feel dp'd again. But you return back to normal once you stop thinking about it. On the other hand, true dp has a "life of it's own" and true sufferers know this.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm not afraid to say doctors tell you stuff that isn't true. You only hear what you want to hear when I'm saying what I'm saying here. I'm not trying to be hard on anyone,I'm just sick of doctors in particular who thinks "dp is dp is dp". It's really vital that you understand that _feelings_ of dp, is not the same as dp syndrome, and if you've had full-blown dp which you don't slip in and out of, you will more easily get the full blown dp back if you have feelings of depersonalization again and again.

What I am saying is, you can't slip in and out of full blown chronic dp, not now, not when you have recovered and gotten it back.

You can have feelings of depersonalization in times of stress, and you can use your knowledge and willpower to let them pass without you getting trapped.

If you play games in your mind, or put yourself at risk of getting dp back again and again, you make yourself vulnerable, as you will trigger your memory of the real deal. Remembering how it is to be well and remembering how it feels to be ill plays a major part in this. You can use it to your advantage, or you can let it hold you back.


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## Katezorz (Jan 10, 2010)

york said:


> I'm not afraid to say doctors tell you stuff that isn't true. You only hear what you want to hear when I'm saying what I'm saying here. I'm not trying to be hard on anyone,I'm just sick of doctors in particular who thinks "dp is dp is dp". It's really vital that you understand that _feelings_ of dp, is not the same as dp syndrome, and if you've had full-blown dp which you don't slip in and out of, you will more easily get the full blown dp back if you have feelings of depersonalization again and again.
> 
> What I am saying is, you can't slip in and out of full blown chronic dp, not now, not when you have recovered and gotten it back.
> 
> ...


Considering my doctor is one of the best in the feild of anxiety, I would say he knows what he is talking about. Considering you are not a doctor, I would rather trust that what he says is true.

Obviously they don't have full blown dp/dr, but they can slip into the mentality of dp and get the same feelings back when they try. Again these were patients with bipolar, so depersonalization was not their first prognosis. It was a symptom of their disorder. They told him that they were able to do so. He didn't make this up, these were real patients that he is still treating.


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