# I need advice/someone to talk to.



## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Has anyone felt overwhelming feelings of nostalgia? That's how I am right now... I feel like I really miss my childhood and want to go back to it...Call me crazy but I don't really like the feeling of getting older, as my life keeps sort of breaking and I keep getting more depressed...

I'm just really sick of being upset and feeling like a zombie all of the time... I've totally learned my lesson and just want this hellish pit I'm in to be over with.

Ugh...bad day bad day.


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

There isn't a day that passes where I don't think about what I was like before this curse.
Luckily, I'm getting better. The nausea caused by my own mere existence is dissipating.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Do you still need some one to talk too?

I have spoken with over 20 DP/DR people now.
I love it and I automaticaly love them.
416 489 5645 if you want to talk.
You could text me too - 416 570 4168


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

meghan28 said:


> Has anyone felt overwhelming feelings of nostalgia? That's how I am right now... I feel like I really miss my childhood and want to go back to it...Call me crazy but I don't really like the feeling of getting older, as my life keeps sort of breaking and I keep getting more depressed...
> 
> I'm just really sick of being upset and feeling like a zombie all of the time... I've totally learned my lesson and just want this hellish pit I'm in to be over with.
> 
> Ugh...bad day bad day.


Girl, I'm going through the same thing.


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

I feel that way a lot. I really want to go back to the summer after my freshman year of high school. Best days of my life.


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Yeah it stinks... it's good to know I'm not alone, thank you for posting everyone...
I just notice how much I took the little things in life for granted and have learned my lesson for sure. If you have sadness because of nostalgia how do you go about curing that? Do you try to make your future better so you have something to look forward to or something else?


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

I just let the past live in the past. No one knows what the future will brings, so hope that it's good, but live in the present. Sounds cliche, but whatever.


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## newdude1234 (Jan 10, 2009)

When I had DP I had pretty hellishly intense nostalgia. Couldn't stand to be around young people, especially children. (And I'm 22!) The sense of a wasted life was too much. It does go away, just like everything else.

The memories are kind of distant now, but all the non-DP people seemed exaggeratedly content with their lives to me when I had DP. It's good to try to keep in mind that this isn't necessarily true: even though DP is amazingly horrible, everyone struggles and works towards living the life they want, regardless of whether they have it. By the same token, nobody likes getting older and everybody wishes they'd cherished their youthful days a bit more, even if they were happy then.

As for undoing the automatic sentimentalization of youth: It sounds kind of mean, but it helped me to concentrate on base, immoral feelings when I was recovering. For example, I desperately wanted to feel love and attraction like I did before DP when I had it. Now I do, and it's wonderful... But along with love and attraction are revulsion and distaste... so even if you don't feel either instinctively, it can be good, if you're out in public, to try to think to yourself, "I'd ordinarily be attracted to this person," or, "I'd ordinarily dislike this person," or "ordinarily I'd be amazed at how unhappy this person seems" (even though you're probably feeling too numb to concentrate on their unhappiness.) When I had DP, I got obsessed with researching schizophrenia. (That is, after the point of confirming for myself that I definitely didn't have it!) Knowing that I would never truly know how miserable they were helped me a lot. The mystery of their plight was a balm to my sense that mystery had evaporated.

Try to think about the ways that good and bad qualities commingle... eventually your mind will have become so adapted to thinking about the qualities of people that any obsessively complex thinking will seem happy and socially useful rather than oppressive and dark, and your brain will calm down accordingly. Lol, I feel like I'm getting off-topic here, but that was just some stuff I remembered off the top of my head. Bottom line: don't try to be your "old self," try to be a new, better self! Because if you can ditch the nostalgia, you *will* feel like your old self--that's the irony of it.


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## nytesprite (Dec 3, 2005)

We all (even non DP folks) go through nostalgia, especially when things in life are not going right. When you don't want to look at the present, there are only two other ways to look -- ahead, or behind. There's no way of knowing what's coming in the future, but you do know what happened in the past, so it's very easy to get lost in it. One of the comforting things about the past is that it's back there, and you won't actually have to relive it. The mind has a way of glossing over the past and only remembering the good things. I'd give anything to be back in high school or college again, but I'm sure if I were there, I'd be griping about the same things I did then -- tests and papers and homework and why so-and-so doesn't like me and why I can't be more popular and all of the things that are so central to a teenager's world. And while it's good to filter out the bad and only remember the good (after all, aren't we always being told to look at the good things in life?), I'm sure there are things you can remember that make you relieved that you don't have to go through it again. I tend to think that DP is all about escape. The brain is trying so hard to escape whatever unbearable reality we're facing that it actually succeeds in a way, except that once it happens, we're unable to shut it off, which in turn just makes the world seem so much more unbearable. As a result, we want something, anything, to cling to, preferably something comforting, the "good times." As hard as it is for me to put it to use in my own life, I truly believe that every one of us has the potential to go back to just living in that way that we see all the "normal" people (another DP symptom -- a lot of us think of ourselves as "abnormal") living their lives. We simply can't see it right now. A lot of us (myself included) see the future as being something out of control. Taking control, in whatever small way you can, will probably help you get through this. Plan something, anything, to look forward to. I think that'll help. It's what I'm trying to do.


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Wow thanks for the posts. I never really looked at things the ways in which you guys do, and it helped me out a lot... I think it's just really hard for me to break this habit of fearing DP...I keep looking at the better places/conditions I've been in like nytesprite said, and kind of losing myself in them. I'm just confused on how to approach DP I guess... It's so hard to get off of my mind. Everyone says distraction is key, but sometimes when I get a little uneasiness, my anxiety is the first thing that pops into my head and I feel like I'm starting all over again. =( It stinks, it truly is hard to break your habits and/or thought patterns.


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

yeh i know what u mean, i look back and think of when i didnt feel like this, it makes me feel physically sick.


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2009)

Meghan you talk like you are being punished.

You arent being punished and you arent a bad person.

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

Guilt is a bitch, be compassionate with yourself.

Feel better soon.

Lynsey.


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Thanks Lynsey and I agree that guilt is a huge bitch haha :]


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## Guest (Jan 13, 2009)

^-^


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Sirus said:


> You seem like a really nice person Meghan. If I get nostalgic I simply just solve it by revisiting my past. What I mean is as we grow up we get conditioned to leave our childlike self behind us, we stop dreaming and we stop playing, we shouldnt. At least once a week give yourself permission to be childlike, free, and innocent.
> 
> Sirus.


Sirus, 
thank you so much for the response...and I think you're absolutely right. Seperating out time in the week to visit places from your past or act like you used to is a really great idea, just to relax and chill! :]


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