# I am an alcoholic



## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

The fact is, I don't believe myself when I say I won't drink any more. I have broken my word too many times now and I just don't trust myself.

I don't trust myself and I don't respect myself.

Stopping drinking is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done. I have tried it before but this time I am not going to accept my bullshit.

Once again, as I don't trust my own words, I can only judge myself by my actions.


----------



## JessMess (Jan 8, 2009)

never_giving_up said:


> The fact is, I don't believe myself when I say I won't drink any more. I have broken my word too many times now and I just don't trust myself.
> 
> I don't trust myself and I don't respect myself.
> 
> ...


I have had the same thoughts racing through my head for a very long time. I think it honestly depends. How much are you actually drinking? I think the actual definition of alcoholism is a very complicated thing to surmise. In my best words, there are many different levels of alcoholism, but a REAL alcoholic "can't drink". (otherwords can't handle it. "blacks out, gets violent, etc.")

Do you drink every night and just feel like a functioning alcoholic? are you just worried about your health? do you wake up in the morning and start drinking? do you drink when ur depressed? do u get depressed a lot? do u always find an excuse for your drinking no matter what? ("I'm celebrating, so i'm gonna drink. I'm sad, so to make mysefl feel better, i'm gonna drink. I'm bored, so to entertaion myself, I'm gonna drink.) I have had the SAME battle and I can relate, just putting MY thoughts out there. Where do you think you stand?


----------



## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

JessMess said:


> I have had the same thoughts racing through my head for a very long time. I think it honestly depends. How much are you actually drinking? I think the actual definition of alcoholism is a very complicated thing to surmise. In my best words, there are many different levels of alcoholism, but a REAL alcoholic "can't drink". (otherwords can't handle it. "blacks out, gets violent, etc.")
> 
> Do you drink every night and just feel like a functioning alcoholic? are you just worried about your health? do you wake up in the morning and start drinking? do you drink when ur depressed? do u get depressed a lot? do u always find an excuse for your drinking no matter what? ("I'm celebrating, so i'm gonna drink. I'm sad, so to make mysefl feel better, i'm gonna drink. I'm bored, so to entertaion myself, I'm gonna drink.) I have had the SAME battle and I can relate, just putting MY thoughts out there. Where do you think you stand?


I drink almost every night. I find that I always have to justify my drinking. Like I'll find any excuse to drink. If I am drinking I will have a minimum of 1 bottle of wine in the evening. It's not rare for me to have 2 bottles.

I am scared to not drink. I can't imagine my life without alcohol.

I hide my drinking from my friends. I drink alone. I feel ashamed.

I think I am definitely an alcoholic. It is dominating my life at the moment and I want it to stop.


----------



## JessMess (Jan 8, 2009)

never_giving_up said:


> I drink almost every night. I find that I always have to justify my drinking. Like I'll find any excuse to drink. If I am drinking I will have a minimum of 1 bottle of wine in the evening. It's not rare for me to have 2 bottles.
> 
> I am scared to not drink. I can't imagine my life without alcohol.
> 
> ...


ok...funny, what you said sounds exactly like my state of mind. like, exactly my problem. one bottle of wine in the evening, easily could do two at times, scared to not drink, like ill have anxiety (i have bad anixety (dp dr etc) (and the alcohol curbs it) except i dont hide my drinking from my freinds. but i drink alone, a LOT. i just got my wisdom teeth pulled a few days ago, and this is my 3rd night without alcohol. i CAN'T beleive i did it. i don't know how I did that, honestly. i know it's not 'allowed' after operatin but i was really trying to push myself. i did it and i am so proud. a lot of people would say "haha u went 3 nights without drinking, oooh wow, thats sooo long (sarcasm). but when you drink EVERY fucking night, it really is a big accomplishment. i would like to talk about this more but its fgonna be annoying through forum. do you have aim or something>


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

If you truly think you're an alcoholic and truly want to stop, get into a 12 step program. They are very supportive and really dig at the reasons behind why you drink.


----------



## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> If you truly think you're an alcoholic and truly want to stop, get into a 12 step program. They are very supportive and really dig at the reasons behind why you drink.


Yeah, I'm planning on going to a place tomorrow


----------



## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Congratulations!

Realising one's problem is the first step towards recovery. I think it is a sign of real strength to clearly state: "I am an alcoholic."

I wish you all the strength in the world for the coming weeks and for your appointment tomorrow. Seeking help is a good way, I am sure


----------



## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

never_giving_up said:


> The fact is, I don't believe myself when I say I won't drink any more. I have broken my word too many times now and I just don't trust myself.
> 
> I don't trust myself and I don't respect myself.
> 
> ...


I am kinda too. But don't have physical need to dring, I just have trouble dealing with my problems so I kinda just escape into the drunkness. 
And you, just believe in yourself. 
You can do it if you want it.


----------



## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

...


----------



## Antihero (Oct 12, 2010)

Hey,i am too drinking too much.I think im few steps before alcoholism.
But,first get rid of DP,thats the real prob!


----------



## natebookd (Jan 2, 2011)

JessMess said:


> I have had the SAME battle and I can relate, just putting MY thoughts out there. Where do you think you stand?


You both are probably alcoholics. I quit drinking 4 months ago, it took a long long time to admit to myself that I was and then some time to actually stop. It just seems from my experience that if you question you are an alcoholic
you probably already have been for some time. I mean it tends to take a bit being one before you would even begin to question if you are or not. Best to get help early as it almost always escalates over time.


----------

