# My theory



## lemonsacrifice (Mar 5, 2010)

Let me say that I first starting getting episodes of dp/dr during extremely stressful situations in my life that occurred during the end of my junior year in high school. The first time it happened, I was eating a wendys hamburger and just bugged out for a few seconds. Basically a short panic attack. I had that feeling though, of dp and not being able to think. I straightened out, and the next time it happened was 2 weeks later after I smoked some weed, saw some visuals, and my heart started racing. The biggest adrenaline rush. Again just a panic attack and I eventually calmed down. The next time, was a week later. I ended up in the hospital my panic was so bad. It's only now that I see that this was all a buildup to my eventual chronic dp/dr. The events in my life were causing me so much stress, and the pressurewas immense to say the least. This isn't the reason I'm posting, btw, just giving you my background. Eventually, I couldn't handle it. The dp/dr had gotten so bad, I couldn't function in my social circle, the classroom, and just life in general. I became a couch potato, tried paxil, felt more like a zombie, then quit drugs altogether. I had given into this condition and I saw no hope in fixing it. The harder I tried, the worse it got. I lost touch with my friends, my family, myself. Eventually, I pushed myself to be more social, go to college. But this was so stressful because all these situations made my dp 100x worse. I can only imagine what I appeared like on the outside. Nervous, out of my mind, spaced out, emotionless, out of touch, unengaging. That wasn't the real me though. Anyway, to make a long story short I went away to school, suffered, put on a fake smile, and lived on autopilot.

I know some of you got dp from smoking weed once, and not from stressful things like my mine, but maybe you can relate. The first thing I became aware of in my long quest to figuring out dp,dr, was figuring out why I was always so out of breath, gasping for air, and breathing so heavily and deeply. From researching, i figured it had to be related some way. Also, the main reason I first had panic attacks was because I thought I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating. And this hyperventilation became me. Theres a lot of science behind it, but basically when you hyperventilate you're putting your body into a fight or flight state. When hyperventilation becomes chronic, like it did to me, you cease to notice it and it causes symptoms from tense muscles, to trouble speaking clearly, to bugging the f out. Now, chv is my bodys response to the stress. It caused my panic in the first place. If I can fix this, i thought, my body will heal, relax, calm down, and my thoughts will follow. Anyway, the first thing I did was control my breathing. When I did this, and tried to stop breathing so much, my body would actually start twitching and gasping for air. But my mind felt good, relaxed. I looked in the mirror. Nostrils flaring. But I felt good. Anyway, when you start relaxing and trusting your body to breathe for you, it stops becoming such a chore. One thing that helped me during a bad episode was saying to myself I don't want to breathe. And listening to myself. And then letting my body take over and catching its breathe. Its hard to do because your body might be so used to breathing at this damaging rate, but once you catch it and relax, it's like a natural boost of dopamine. It probably is.

With relaxation comes thoughts. Ratoinal thoughts. First you should understand, the mind and body are separate. Your mind may be bugging out right now, and it's probably causing your body physical stress. You might not understand what youre bugging about, but you proabably are if youre here. Anyway, you need to take control of your breathing, catch your breath, and let your body take over. After you trust your body, and feel relaxed, allow yourself to think some thoughts, while simultaneously keeping note of what they're doing to your body. Did that thought make you tense your legs, or make you breathe heavier. Don't allow those thoughts to affect your body. Your mind and body are separate. After some practice, you may find that it's easier to think thoughts and keep control of yourself and your actions at the same time. You never want to repress any thoughts. All thoughts are good, because after you think them it allows your SELF (not yelling) to respond. Thats called a feeling. When these feelings and thoughts start flowing, youll forget about your dp, and your body will be relaxed. Remember, dp can come and go as you YOU please. If you dont want to think and relax, then fine. Continue with your dp. No one can know what your thinking, and being true to yourself is what will ultimately lead you away from dp/dr. Finding your inner voice is the what I think is the key. In my opinion, Dp is a state of feeling about a particular emotion, but not thinking the thoughts associated with it. Its those thoughts that lead to feelings. Being a zombie sucks, but thinking to yourself is the opposite and can be done again. The thoughts, for me, were too stressful and I pushed them back. I lost myself and my mind, quite literally. Everyones mind has a purpose for doing this though, no ones purpose is stupid, but it requires you to face the reasons why. Dont blame yourself, this happened for a reason. In my case, i became a hell of a lot more aware about everything just from being so stuck in thought and analzying everything BUT what i really wanted to think about. Stop obsessing over these hypochondriac like thoughts, schizophrenia claims, mental damage claims or irreversible nonsense. Think about what you really want to think about. Do what you really want to do, and say what you really want to say. That involves ripping off that layer of anxiety and dp. Social situations for me took a while to feel comfortable. Idk i have a lot to say. This is what helped me and i know a lot of you are suffering and i held off on posting here for so long while i went through this mental rollercoaster. Its scary to let your thoughts out again, because they've been hidden for so long. But when you accept that you have not gone anywhere, you are still there, and that you can be you again as soon as you want to try, you will realize that this condition was good for shielding you from the past, but is no longer useful because you choose to live in the now and live it the way you want to live it. Nothing can stop YOU from taking over now. I hope this helped a little bit. I know some of it is unorganized and sloppy but I didn't feel like making the changes. Thanks for reading. Peace and love.


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## spierdalaj (Jul 20, 2010)

I so agree! Using breathing techniques lets me gain control over the dp. It's simple but it's relief. 
Thank you so much for writing this.


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## alexandra23 (Dec 15, 2008)

the whole thinking about why you had a thought instead of just having it, makes perfect sense, I know exactly what you mean. You just have to address the questions to ground yourself.


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