# Helpful Hints.



## Katieb24 (Feb 9, 2013)

The initial shock/ panic/ fear at the onset of this WILL WEAR OFF. The feeling might not go away completely, but it will become more bearable.

1. integrate back into the things you used to do all while knowing that you will feel anxiety or depersonalized doing them. This totally sucks, but you have to stick it out. The mistake I initially made was not doing things because of how I felt. I became agoraphobic and could not leave the house for two weeks because I was terrified that I would have a panic attack if I left, or was worried that going somewhere would make the depersonalization worse. Or I didn't want to do something I used to do because I was depersonalized. So accept that you are going to feel depersonalized doing whatever it is you used to do but DO IT ANYWAY. DO it while knowing that it is essential to your recovery.

By understanding this concept, I was able to force myself to do things all while feeling depersonalized. This helped me because I went from absolutely not going out anywhere and having to come up with excuses as to why I could not see friends that came into town to mustering the strength to going out and meeting those friends, all while enduring extreme amounts of anxiety and a worsening of DP/DR to then meeting up with friends with no or little anxiety and no worsening of the DP/DR and even having moments where the DP/DR has lifted some.

2. When you are able to do most things you used to do even if you are still depersonalized, keep a to- do list. Why? Because your bringing back that little part of your brain that planned things. In DP/DR you lose that little sense of your inner compass, that little voice that was telling you to go get a sandwich and then pick things up at the dry cleaners ect. You just did that without thinking...but now you have to get yourself to start thinking of yourself again. It will also bring a sense of control to you (also get one of those pocket calendar things so you can write things down things going on for that day. It will help you get a sense of predictability and you will see the events unfolding in "real life" as they were marked on your calendar. It helps get you acquainted back with a sense of time and a " one day after the other" kind of thing. It will also help you see this is how the world works...if you have an appointment at 4pm. on thursday and you see people waiting for you at 4pm on thursday, it will bring back that feeling that you are not alone. Everyone is here at the same time living out the same day. As much as your mind wants you to believe that you are nothing but an illusion and the entire world is nothing but an illusion to you, you gotta realize there's a world out there that you are apart of.

3. Force yourself to concentrate. The more you do it, the more the natural ability to concentrate on something will come back to you. This one was especially hard for me. I've improved a lot but am not where I want to be. This one totally sucked for me because I used to love being alone and writing music for hours on end. I was totally inspired at all times to just write music and had so many ideas just bursting to come out. The process of this brought me tremendous joy. After the DP/DR I would sit feeling so spacey just looking at my guitar with hardly any thoughts in my head with no ideas at all- all I could focus on was the DP/DR. The natural urge to just pick up guitar and write songs left me after DP/DR so I had to FORCE myself to do something that I used to like to do even though I felt detached from it. The more I did this, the more I re-aqainted. So my advice is pick something that you used to do and force yourself to do it. Also reading and writing are highly recommended activities because you need to get portions of your brain processing and working again.

4. Start having goals again (or maybe for the first time).The feeling of stagnation has been linked to anxiety and depression which in turn I think are linked to DP and DR. If you are feeling "stuck" and like nothing is changing, you are going to have feelings of detachment and that you are not real and the world is not real. By having goals, you are in a way admitting to yourself that you believe you are real and that you matter and that your actions might affect the world in some way. Also having goals give you a focus. If you start accomplishing things and investing yourself in something, you might meet new people and cause new changes in your life which is what you need to start feeling the vibe of being alive again. Start asking yourself questions like what profession/ occupation do I want to be? what do I envision for my life? Who do I want my friends to be? Where do I want to live? What kind of person do I want to be? Asking yourself these questions and writing down the answers will also help with Depersonalization. Maybe you have "lost" yourself but you might be able to find it again, or create a "new self" that you like even better.

5. Start envisioning positive things. For those with DP/ DR we are in a constant state of avoiding terrible feelings, whether it is anxiety or simply feeling numb. We worry that we might be failures, or that something is wrong with us, that this might be a precursor to another mental illness, or that something might be physically wrong with us. We are in a state of anxiety because we've either endured terrible things in the past or are afraid we might in the future. That is why we feel this way. By envisioning positive things that may come your way or that you want to come your way, you relax your brain into not being scared of "reality" anymore. If you can envision things like success, love, happiness, ect. then your brain will slowly get out of the "flight or fight" mode. It says to you "Hey, this place isn't so terrible...it's not so bad. Everything is okay." Then you will start to feel more normal. If you are like me you might be programmed to only think negative thoughts. You have to FORCE yourself to think of happy things and believe that they are possible.

6. Do the dirty work and ask yourself the hard questions. How did you get here( to this state of DP/DR)? What are you afraid of (and how can you abolish these fears)? What would it take for you to live anxiety and depression free? You really have to do some intense self exploration. This is key for you to help connect to your self. If you are looking for more questions and more exercises, you can always look on Oprah's life class.

7. Exercise. It's very difficult to when you are feeling DP/DR but the more you do it the more you will start to feel connected to your body again.

8. Focus on something else outside yourself. If you don't have a pet, get one. It will force you to worry about something else. It will also show you how ridiculous you thoughts are and how they are only a product of extreme anxiety. For example, you are worried you aren't real and that everything is just a figment of your imagination right? Well...if that's true your dog isn't real...therefore it doesn't need to eat... See? You wouldn't ever NOT feed your dog. Why? Because he's alive and needs food to stay that way. And if you think that about your dog, why don't you think that about yourself?

9. Expose yourself to new things. New music, new books, new hobbies, new people ect.. It will help you feel more engaged and connected.

10. Start trusting yourself again. If you trust yourself, you will trust reality.

HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEONE


----------



## Apathy (Jan 26, 2013)

Good post.. this has helped me a bit and should help others.


----------



## Petrucci6565 (Nov 30, 2012)

This was very helpful. i can really relate, down to the part about the guitar. you're not feeling inspired but you're forcing yourself to do it anyway.


----------

