# Need help with my son



## DPMom (Aug 6, 2010)

I might've placed this post in the wrong category so I am reposting it here.

Hi everybody! I am new to this board and have a son who seems to have DP. Let me explain. He's also been suffering from depression which became pretty severe in the last few weeks so he is actually in an inpatient psych unit right now.
The weird thing is that he now says his main problem is not even feeling depressed in the standard sense of the word but disconnected, like his mind is blank and he just doesn't care about anything and can't concentrate on anything.
He used to be a straight A student, all honors classes, gifted program etc.. his vocabulary is still intact and he probably could do some pretty complex mental tasks but he doesn't feel like doing anything.. doesn't even want to read.. no interest in anything..
So his DP seems to be co-existent with depression and OCD too (he's been having weird violent thoughts).

What do you think? His psych doctor seems to think it's all related to depression but I can't find anything in terms of treatment specific to DP symptoms.. His doctor started him on Prozac just a few days ago and also Seroquel for sleep as he is not able to sleep due to depression and anxiety and obsessive thoughts. He is only 15 and is getting pretty despondent about all this. He says he is waiting for the meds to start working and then when he is not as disconnected, he says he can try therapy. But shouldn't the meds and therapy be tried at the same time?

He seems to have a pretty good therapist at the facility but she is giving him the literature about dealing with depression and the CBT techniques but he says it doesn't apply to him. I have to find something specific to DP symptoms (don't know if it's a full blown disorder or just some sort of a defense mechanism for his severe depression)and how to deal with them and remain functional.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Emily.
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## Guest (Aug 6, 2010)

What you can do is let him know that he isn't alone in feeling this way. Constantly let him know that you are there for him and let him know that even though you don't understand what he is going through, you still love him. Also, I'm not a Dr. or anything, but prozac is really not a good drug to be taking. Many on this forum agree that it didn't help them at best, and even made things worse. I hope he gets some help and gets back interest into his old ways.


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

DPMom said:


> He's also been suffering from depression which became pretty severe in the last few weeks so he is actually in an inpatient psych unit right now.
> The weird thing is that he now says his main problem is not even feeling depressed in the standard sense of the word but disconnected, like his mind is blank and he just doesn't care about anything and can't concentrate on anything.
> He used to be a straight A student, all honors classes, gifted program etc.. his vocabulary is still intact and he probably could do some pretty complex mental tasks but he doesn't feel like doing anything.. doesn't even want to read.. no interest in anything..
> So his DP seems to be co-existent with depression and OCD too (he's been having weird violent thoughts).


Provided he wasn't experiencing depersonalization prior to the depression it is correct to assume that the depersonalization is part of your son's depression and it should abate as the depression is dealt with. 
If he has been dealing with depersonalization prior to the depression his depersonalization may be a stand alone disorder and should be tackled in its own right.

Have a look around the forum. There are a number of interesting books if you'd like to know more about the condition and people have posted a lot on coping strategies (check out On the Road to Recovery section) as well.

All the best


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

I dont know what to say to help, with this thing there is no proven method or technique. If you permit me to suggest a few items id like to point them out below

1- To assist, yourself and your son need to determine if there are any precursors or stressors that lead him to feeling this way. Is there something that has happened in the past? If so, then he would need to start talking about them and understanding them better.

2- Personally, I have been investigating Neuro Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy. This could be an approach as well

3- How long has he been feeling this way? this will give us a better idea of the situation

4- Regarding medication, there is no magic pill for this. Everyone in our position needs to charge ahead with life. Medication in the case of DP can be a form of band aid, but he would need to take charge of his life. Hes only 15, which is difficult and in a way unfair, but we have to proceed no matter what.


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## DPMom (Aug 6, 2010)

Enormous thank you to everybody who responded.

He's never felt depersonalized prior to his depression and in fact has always been a very sensitive and loving and gentle person.

He has experienced verbal bullying in the last school year and unfortunately didn't tell us until a few months went by and by that point he started saying that nobody liked him and he had no friends (he has a few but is definitely lacking social skills). In addition to that, one of the kids in his social studies class started talking about the nihilistic philosophy (there is no meaning to life, nobody can tell you what's right or wrong, it's all made up etc.)
so at first he seemed to present with social anxiety and existential depression where he kept questioning the meaning of life.. then it progressed to weird violent thoughts (at the end of June)and our vacation was totally ruined.

The weird thing is that for two weeks in July he felt so much better and went to a computer camp, played guitar, hung out with his best friend, watched tv etc.. then about a week and a half ago things started going downhill fast and for no apparent additional reason.. he started complaining of severe depersonalization and unrelenting violent thoughts.. so we knew at that point he needed to be admitted.. not because we were afraid for our safety but because of how tormented he was by all this and not able to really truly function and enjoy anything.

We've talked about bullying ad nauseum and he now claims it doesn't bother him anymore.. the problem is he is in this inpatient unit and is just waiting for the meds to kick in.. and he gets angry with us when we tell him it's in his power too in conjunction with meds to help himself. He says he is SOOOO disconnecte that he can't do anything and he doesn't believe in therapy because he says it doesn't target his specific symptoms.

I will definitely look around the site for books and other suggestions.

Solaris, could you elaborate a little more on Neuro Linguistic Programming and hypnotherapy? How do we go about finding a specialist who does that? Does anybody know of a good psychiatrist who is familiar with depersonalization?

Again, thank you so very much for getting back to me. Please keep your ideas and suggestions coming.

Emily.


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

Emily,

You can do a search of NLP practitioners in your area. I would suggest you find someone who is familiar with anxiety issues as its very closely related to DP. I have personally done very few sessions but find myself willing to try again. Ive had some not to nice practitioners, so I guess it depends on the right kind of person who can pick you up and give you a push.
NLP has a component of hypnotherapy, you may better choose the approach of this session whether you want to confront thought patterns/behavior modification or explore past memories.

Note: NLP/Hypnotherapy is not proven and is somewhat new age-y, but dont get turned off just yet.

Im not sure about any therapist or any proven psychotherapy method for treating DP. I read in a book once about a woman healing completely after a session of abreaction therapy. Its this method of reaching a catharsis. Sounds quite like a one off situation, but i just thought id inform you incase you wanted to research further.

Best of Luck.


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## Guest013 (Apr 26, 2010)

It's difficult to offer help and support when we aren't there and don't have all the facts; however, if his DP is a resultant of depression, I feel your main concern should be his depression. If he is still experiencing DP/DR after the depression has lifted, then we can offer more advice here. Fist of all... he is only 15 years old. I know its very common for kids going to puberty to have an inbalance of hormones that contributes to depression and anxiety. Like I said before, I don't know all the facts, but I feel putting a 15 year old on anti-depressants and sending him to an inpatient psych unit is just going to exacerbate any problems he has. Making sure your son has at least one good friend to hang should alleviate any of the social problems he is experiencing. Letting your son know that his feelings of depression and DP will soon pass, and they are nothing to worry about is important. Additionally, try to get your son involved in whatever he is passionate or excited about... whether that be guitar or baseball. Kids have to have at least one thing that they feel confident and good about. Your job as a parent should be to support him in whatever this endeavor may be. Make sure you don't let him just sit around the house all day. Make him go outside and have fun!


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## Cesar (Aug 23, 2010)

What has helped me the most are Holotropic Breathwork, Holosync, L-theanine for anxiety, 5-htp and fish oil for ocd,
eft for disturbing thoughts. And following the ultramind solution with walking 30 minutes a day. Though with holosync I use the neuroprogrammer now it's cheaper.
Hope this helps


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## DPMom (Aug 6, 2010)

Cesar, could you elaborate a little bit more? I've heard of some things you mentioned but not others. What are all these things and how do you use them?

Thanks so much for responding!


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## Cesar (Aug 23, 2010)

Holotropic Breathwork is a technique of continuous breathing connecting the inhale and exhale that generates energy in the body and and when done for an hour or more has a purifying effect on the mind and body.
I use a cd called the healing art of conscious breathing, though I recommend having a session or two with a qualified practitioner first.

It should be done once or twice a month for 1 hour+ I aim for at least 2 hours.

Holosync is an audio cd that puts you in beta brain waves down to delta and it significantly lowers stress and has gotten rid of issues that were bothering me for a long time. You can make your own soundtracks with the neuroprogrammer using the dtzm sessions. I can help you with that if you're interested.

This should be done for one hour a day.

l-theanine is a calming amino acid here is a good article
http://web-us.com/l-theanine_anxiety_reducer.htm

I'm actually going to try some of the supplements mentioned in these posts

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/18882-read-this-if-you-want-to-recover/page__p__202561__hl__supplements__fromsearch__1&#entry202561

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/22056-after-12-years-im-finally-back/page__hl__dhea

EFT emotional freedom techniques, a very powerful technique of tapping certain areas on the head and chest while thinking and feeling a disturbing thought or event and the energy blockage associated is removed quickly.
http://www.eftuniverse.com/


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