# If you've got time please read and reply!



## MCheung (Jul 16, 2014)

*Hello, I'm new to this site and I generally want to speak to others who have DP, as I don't know anyone in person that has it.*

*Basic summary of me*

*I'm 17 years old and of Chinese descent, I study A Level Maths, Business, Economics and Politics. I have a part time job on the Fri/Sat at a local takeaway. I have 2 older brothers and my mom and dad. I have a beautiful girlfriend that takes care of me. I believe I've had DP for around 7-8 months, from what it was stemmed from I have many possibilities but I'll talk about that later in this post. *

*Last 7-8 months*

*To be honest the last 7-8 months have flown by (in a bad way), likely because my track of time has worsened terribly with DP. I believe I started having this feeling roughly around November-December, honestly this really did come out of nowhere I because of my worsened memory I can't recall where/what I was doing at the time when it happened. I told my girlfriend how I was feeling and she said I should get it checked up but at the time I really didn't believe it was a big deal. Throughout January I thought it would of been just a phase of growing up, or that I was just feeling a little unwell. But at the time I was learning how to drive, it was roughly my 15th lesson so I was pretty fluent at the skill, but my teacher explained that my last few sessions weren't that great, I was making mistakes and dwelling about them throughout the lesson which distracted my concentration, creating more mistakes to dwell on and thus a cycle is created. He explained that he believed something was wrong, he could see I was well and he advised me to get it checked up, that was when I fully concentrated on myself, and looked up through the internet and found DP.*

*I cancelled my lessons and told my teacher I'll call him back when I feel better. Around February my girlfriend demanded that I see a professional, I called up my local GP who gave me a leaflet to some mental group in my local area, and I started seeing this woman, lets call her Dr. X. Throughout February-June I saw Dr. X roughly a few weeks at a time, she gave me these 2 test papers every time I visited that assessed whether I had depression/anxiety. Each session she would give me booklets that contained info about these 2 things, but honestly I already knew much of the information already and they didn't really help me. *

*As each visit passed, I began to lose hope on the entire idea of getting back to normal, those 4 months were filled of a routine of going to college, going home, going work, going gym, going to girlfriend's house. I believe this is a reason for this time flying by, mainly because of doing the same thing all the time makes the brain feel like I've done it yesterday. Exams were around May-June, I was hoping to have recovered by then so I could actually concentrate on something, but unfortunately that didn't work, currently I'm a little nervous about the results in August.*

*On the last session I had with Dr. X in early June I explained that whilst I appreciated her help, I still feel the exact same way as the first time I walked into her room 4 months before, she just said that'll she'll fix me up with some other medical professional, in a way it sounded as if I was on her back and she's trying to get rid of me. Instead I just decided to not book another appointment with her, and just go back to my local GP.*

*What am I feeling?*

*DP/D**epersonalization**; I shouldn't really go into detail as many members here already understand how it feels, but in case anybody curious as to what they're feeling they may come across this post. I constantly feel like I'm in a dream, as if everything around me and beyond isn't real. This includes my own body, it feels foreign/alien to me. When looking in the mirror I see just a person, not myself. I look right back at myself but sometimes I don't even recognize the figure. Feelings seem to be numbed down. Pain, fear and joy. I still sense these feelings but it doesn't feel... correct. Memory has worsened, even big things such as people's names and important dates disappear when asked. Time flies incredibly quickly, I still can't believe its the middle of July right now... The thought that you're turning insane, although many explain that if you believe you're turning insane, then its likely that you're not, as people classified as insane tend to not know/believe that they're insane. Avoidance is another thing, likely stems from anxiety/depression but avoiding people/events is common. *

*Tinnitus; A condition that involves a constant noise in the ears, usually a buzzing noise. I've had tinnitus roughly the same time I picked up DP, its common that tinnitus derives from high stress levels which could be anxiety/depression, I'm no doctor but these are educated guesses.*

*Twitching; If I were to attempt to wink my left eye, my left eye will continue to wink another 2-3 times before I can manually stop it. Same with my other eye. *

*What am I doing about 'feelings'?*

*I've been on Citalopram for the past 5 weeks now (roughly early June til present), Citalopram so far has helped with my tinnitus, it has become much more unnoticeable when quiet so I can sleep easier. Now and then I would meditate or have heavy breathing sessions which gave a weird sensation but doesn't really last very long for me, it does somehow relieve DP for me temporarily. I've tried to spending more time with my loved ones, but this goes back to the numbed feelings from before, its great to be with them but it just doesn't feel correct, as if something is wrong.*

*Conclusion*

*I'd like to know a bit about your story too, if you could post that'll be great. I want to help if I can. I'd appreciate if you could give me some feedback too, if you have any questions please ask me! I'm really looking forward to speaking to other DP sufferers... It's mainly because I believe that nobody truly understands us unless they've experienced it themselves, in a way I can value an opinion from a DP sufferer more than a doctor, because they understand what I'm going through. But anyway, going sleep now, looking forward to your replies! Thanks for reading!*


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

Welcome! I've had DP for a long time, but trust me it's not as bad as it sounds


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## 23rddr (Jun 3, 2014)

I have read a lot on the web about inner ear problems and DP/DR. They somehow seem to be related. I you don't know where this came from and you started feeling strange with your ear problems, they might be related. Doctor's don't know anything about DP so don't get discoursed when they can't help you. Watch some videos on you tube about people with this. It helped me a lot. It's also important not to think of this as a stand alone disorder. It's a symptom of something else. It does get better trust me. Take care.


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## MCheung (Jul 16, 2014)

seafoamneon said:


> Welcome! I've had DP for a long time, but trust me it's not as bad as it sounds


Hello, in many ways it doesn't really tend to be noticeable, but its when I need to concentrate, like learning how to drive for example, when I feel a little frustrated! Thanks for your reply!


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## MCheung (Jul 16, 2014)

23rddr said:


> I have read a lot on the web about inner ear problems and DP/DR. They somehow seem to be related. I you don't know where this came from and you started feeling strange with your ear problems, they might be related. Doctor's don't know anything about DP so don't get discoursed when they can't help you. Watch some videos on you tube about people with this. It helped me a lot. It's also important not to think of this as a stand alone disorder. It's a symptom of something else. It does get better trust me. Take care.


Are you saying that tinnitus could be the cause of DP? I always thought DP caused tinnitus, but because my memory is slightly impaired I can't remember what came first ! Yeah I've noticed the doctors didn't 100% understand the situation I was going through. I'll have a look at some videos, thank you for replying!!


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## jonobe (Jun 20, 2014)

Welcome. Just a couple of things:

1 you're probably going to find doctors can't help much. They don't really understand and there hasn't been much research on it at all. It's NOT 'anxiety' or 'depression', or 'psychosis' so they're pretty much at the end of their expertise. You're a dp expert (judging from your writing) and so are a lot of people here. On the bright side, at least you have found others who understand and can share with. In the old days, you were on your own. Without any idea that anyone else had what you had.

2 you're not going insane and you won't. That's the thing about dp, you keep your mind, but your perception can play havoc.

Remember, whatever you're going through, you can always learn. And learning will eventually set you free.


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## MCheung (Jul 16, 2014)

jonobe said:


> Welcome. Just a couple of things:
> 
> 1 you're probably going to find doctors can't help much. They don't really understand and there hasn't been much research on it at all. It's NOT 'anxiety' or 'depression', or 'psychosis' so they're pretty much at the end of their expertise. You're a dp expert (judging from your writing) and so are a lot of people here. On the bright side, at least you have found others who understand and can share with. In the old days, you were on your own. Without any idea that anyone else had what you had.
> 
> ...


I completely get your point! And it's great that other people feel the same way as me, I know I'm not alone! I often repeat to myself that I'm not insane but it gets quite difficult when you've had it constantly for a period of time, I don't know how people live like this for years! It feels awful! Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it!


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