# Problem and Solution



## J D (Oct 17, 2006)

Hey guys..i'm new to this forum. I just wanted to share what happened to me while dealing with Depersonalization. I have had DP for a little over a year now. It started with panic attacks and from there spun off into DP. I didn't know what this disorder was for a long time and thought I was losing my mind....as most of you can relate to. That fear fed into the anxiety and made the dp even worse. I never thought I would get out of it...I thought it was my life sentence. About 3 months into the Depersonalization I found out that I had to have sinus surgery. I would have to undergo anesthesia and have a sinus cyst removed. It was a simple surgery and only took a few hours to operate. Well when I woke from the anesthesia, I looked around and everything was unbelievably clear. I was completely clear of DP!!!

Because I felt 100% better, I truly believed that the sinus cyst was causing all of my symptoms (I still didn't know that I had DP at the time). Everyone of my unbearable DP symptoms had completely vanished for 3 months. I went on and forgot about the entire thing....the further I got away from it, the more I couldn't understand how I felt so unreal and like I wasn't in my own body.

On New Year's last year, I ended up drinking way too much. The next morning I woke up with an awful hangover and some feelings of depersonalization. I kept checking in with myself...could this really be coming back?....I thought it had something to do with my sinuses, so naturally I got a checkup and of course everything checked out fine...no sinus problems. So then I began my journey on discovering what this disorder is. I went through the "why me's?," the "why now's," and the "what if's."

When I finally came to terms with what it was I became obsessed with getting better. I ordered every tape and every book I could get my hands on. I went through every program possible...from "Attacking Anxiety and Depression" to "The Linden Method" to the anxietybusters.com's "Depersonalization Cure"...which I recommend.

I realized that you can get caught in this vicious cycle of obsessing over becoming better. This actually feeds the anxiety because you are thinking about how you're feeling at the current moment....which leads to more anxiety...more adrenaline....and you get the picture. I always have seen myself as an overachiever and almost perfectionistic, which has contributed greatly to this anxiety condition. I believed that if I attacked this condition with full force, it would go away in no time. If I'm right in my thinking, most of you are like me....obsessed with getting better. You wouldn't be on here looking for answers if you weren't. And honestly it's hard not to be, especially with the symptoms of DP being so terrifying. But as I am working to climb out of this dark hole, I am learning to LET GO. I am learning to let my mind heal by focusing on ANYTHING except my condition. These are the steps I am taking to get through DP:

1.) Distraction, distraction, distraction: I know you hear this all the time. Do you know why?...because IT WORKS. This is not something that comes naturally. You've created a bad habit throughout the weeks, months, or years you have been in this condition. You have thought about nothing but how you feel. Your mind is exhausted with checking in ALL THE TIME. Distraction is a tool that has to be learned....and the only way to learn it is by repetition.

2.) Diet and Exercise: Everyone on here knows how important these are. Diet drastically affects the way you feel and exercise burns off the extra adrenaline you have produced in your body. These two things are a must.

3.) Stop looking for Miracle Cures: Believe me and ask ANYONE on here....there is not one. After I realized I had DP, I immediately wanted to be put under anesthesia again (haha). Well they don't just do that for psychiatric purposes although I wish they did. But the more I look back on it, the more I realized that the anesthesia probably only mildly affected my quick recovery. The real reason I recovered so quickly is that I truly believed it was gone. I truly believed that the surgery had taken away whatever it was I had. I went on with my life, living normally and not having another thought about the DP for those entire 3 months. This gives me hope just thinking about how much faster we can come out this than previously thought.

4.) Use relaxation tapes or meditation twice a day: You must calm your busy mind. This gives your mind a break and time to heal. Get into the habit of meditation and you'll end up using it the rest of your life...very addicting. Breathing techniques are crucial to you getting over this condition. If you are not breathing correctly (diaphramatically) then you could be causing your own panic attacks.

5.) Act like you don't have this disorder: Live life, with the exception of drugs and alcohol, exactly how you did before this condition began. Not only should you act normally around other people (even your safe person: family, significant other, etc.), but act normal when you're by yourself. Sing out loud, enjoy your favorite hobby, get really good at something. The key here is to trick yourself...and I know what you're thinking....impossible. And for the most part it is impossible....but keep trying....keep repeating....keep distracting.....keep your mind somewhere else besides on how you feel.

6.) No drugs and alcohol: This is common sense, but easier said than done. I personally don't use drugs, but alcohol is tough to turn down...especially in social situations. This is actually one of the toughest steps for me. When I want to drink I think, "Is it worth how I'm going to feel in the morning?..."Is it worth the setback after I have made this much progress?" Then I don't want to drink. I know that I'll be able to have a few beers when all this is over with, but for right now, my body needs this time for healing. This is even tougher if all your friends drink...very tough. If you're like me, you care what other people think of you TOO MUCH. You wouldn't have anxiety if you didn't. But this is YOUR LIFE, NOT THEIRS. This is your time to get better. Don't live for what other people think...you'll live a completely miserable life if you do. 
Same for drugs: for a lot of you, drugs were the gateway that started your anxiety cycle...so why in the hell would you do what got you into this mess? Nough said

7) Live in the Present Moment: "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift....that's why it's called the present." Live your life like it's your last day, every single day. Take notice of things that you normally look over...Trees, birds, anything in nature...peoples reactions, their smiles. Look for the simple things and live life from moment to moment. The past only brings more anxiety....so does the future if you think you're going to have this all you're life. You can look ahead in the future, but do it positively....think about what you're going to be doing when you're completely well. Every thought should be enjoying the present moment and every minute you're given. I know it doesn't seem like a gift right now, but if you take the time to COMPLETELY FOCUS on something other than your symptoms, you can find small windows of joy...kinda nice.

8.) Positive Inner Dialogue: This is one of the most, if THE most important step besides distraction. How do you talk to yourself? Do you beat yourself up with your thinking? You MUST turn off that negative tape that's been playing in your head....."What is this?....Am i dying?....Am i ever going to get better?....Do I have to live this way?....How long is this going to take?....What if...what if..what if.....this is soooooo draining. It drains your energy, your positivity, your chance for healing, and your LIFE. In order to start seeing improvements you have to completely destroy your self-pity. You have to stop believing that the world owes you something because IT DOESN'T. Nobody said life was fair (Everytime I hear that I want to punch someone in the face...I only said it because its true....and now I want to punch myself in the face.) It does help to have a psychologist, it helps to get accupuncture, hypnosis, read books, listen to tapes...but guess what?....it won't cure you. The only thing holding you back from recovery is yourself....you must see it this way in order to fully recover. Take responsibility....it's not your fault....but THERE IS something you can do about it. Nobody else can. 
Talk to yourself with positivity. Talk to yourself with confidence. Talk to yourself with love and patience. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. This builds confidence, destroys your negative inner dialogue, which detroys stress and anxiety, which detroys all of those intoxicating chemicals being released in your brain, which destroys depersonalization for good. FYI: Did you know that for every single thought you have whether positive or negative...a chemical is released in the brain for that particular thought? Thoughts truly are things.....they are REAL....and they can cause physical sickness.

9) Find out your anxiety triggers: What makes you anxious? Is it being around a large group of people? Is it a fear that people will find out what you're going through and think you're crazy? Is it a fear that you are going to flip out in public and do something stupid to embarass yourself? Is it a fear of not being accepted? Is it a fear of not being perfect? Is it a fear of not ever getting over this condition? What brings on your anxiety and causes your DP to become even worse than it is right now? When you find out your triggers, work on them. Expose yourself over and over and over to those situations. Teach yourself that those situations are not harmful. You must understand yourself and why you act the way the do before you can move forward.

10.) Learn to Ignore: Throughout the process of slipping into Depersonalization you have become Sensitized. This means that normal feelings in the body...twinges, spasms, twitches, plus ALL of your anxiety symptoms become way OVEREXAGGERATED. They become mountains instead of the ant hills they once were. Then, when they come into your awareness, they produce even more anxiety, which produces more adrenaline, which produces more symptoms, more anxiety....You can see how Anxiety is just one big cycle. That is the very reason you feel like you're never going to get out of this....you are in the middle of the cycle. And...if you don't jump out.....then you will be in this forever. When a dizzy spell hits you...just think "Man that was wierd"...and here's the secret....LET IT GO. Don't think "I'm getting worse, I can't function like this, This sucks, I hate my life." All these negative thoughts only fuel the anxiety cycle and make your day much worse than it has to be. 
Another thing that fuels the anxiety cycle is thinking about how wierd the DP feels. If your looking at something and you think to yourself.."Holy *^%& that doesn't look real, I feel like I'm dreaming, I can't remember ANYTHING, I think I'm losing my mind, Am I going to start hallucinating?, I don't even recognize my parents, girlfriend, boyfriend, myself, etc., I feel so hollow. You can guess what these thoughts do....these are the most negative thoughts you can have because they are relating directly to your condition. These are the thoughts that keep you where you are. You must stop the thought when it comes to you and distract, use positive inner dialogue, or do something that will take your mind off of these thoughts....they are self-destructive.

KNOW THAT THIS TIME IN YOUR LIFE WILL PASS...God didn't make us to go through life in complete and total fear...he made us to be happy, to create, to enjoy life, to help other people along the way. Consider this a wake-up call from God Himself telling you that all of your life you have had underlying FEAR. You have always had anxiety....it's just now surfacing. He is giving you the opportunity to truly open your eyes and really see what is going on in your life....Let's be honest....would anything else have slowed your life down besides DP?....Nope. This is a chance to GROW and to become someone greater than you have been you're entire life. This is an opportunity to change your life for the better forever. If this blessing (hahaha) hadn't had hit you square in the face, you would have never reevaluated yourself. You would have never thought twice about your lifestyle, how you thought, how you acted, how you talked to yourself. This is it....this is your chance to change.

Please respond with any other tips you have for overcoming DP....I know that every single one of you can overcome this. God does not give us more than we can bear...although in this time it seems like it. But within everyone of you are the tools, the drive, and the desire the get better and come out of this. This is not a life sentence, this is not your cross to bear, this is your opportunity to change. I wish you all the best.


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## The_Shadow (Sep 15, 2006)

Good post J D. I know that all the things that you say are true. Sometimes it seems like I can barely go on, yet it seems like in spite of everything I always endure. I have found my religious faith a great comfort in times such as this. I realize that I am not alone in the universe.

We will survive!


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## j glaze11 (Sep 16, 2006)

great post, i find it very helpful. My main problem is that it goes away and comes back, which to me could be worse cause your just stuck with the thoughts its perminant, but i know its not. I have noticed some of these methods and these were the same methods that have helped me out earlier. (i have really only had this after a big panic attack over the summer in july, and it hasnt been 24-7)


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