# Newbie here!



## Lady of Shalot (May 25, 2006)

Well hello there

I'm a 21 year old girl from Mexico
I can't say I experience depersonalization very frequently, but I first experienced it when i was like 4-5 years old, it's been something constant in my life, and it had sort of disappeared til a month or so... The only way i was able to snap out of it the other day, was by cutting...that's my other main problem...
I've never gone to a psychologist, psychiatrist or anything of the sort, but I guess it's not healthy to lie in bed for hours in the afternoon doing nothing, being miserable. Still I have never been on medication or even any kind of alternative therapy cuz in my house we usually prefer to die before going to a doctor....


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## igidude (Mar 7, 2005)

I recommend that you seek some kind of help a therapist or psychiatrist Maybe medication can help. I've taken anti depressant and it's helped me . My doctor told me that being active is very helpful with any disorder wether it's mental or physical. Exercise and better nutrion makes a difference. the thing about this disorder is that it makes you constantly analize the way your feeling and in that struggle to understand can lead you to depression. Personaly I've found that praying really helps and keeping a possitive state of mind gives clarity.


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## Guest (Jun 23, 2006)

Well hello back at ya =)

Well I?m a 22 year old guy from England, Nice to meet you. So DP has been something which has come and gone in your life which you couldn?t control? I see. Ah so you self harm to ?feel?, do you feel totally numb? I can totally understand self harm? I have experience with it *Looks at scars* yup I sure do *smiles*? I like my scars; lucky for me I didn?t self harm by cutting for long? I started to pull hair so I don?t have many scars but just enough to respect the past and know not to stop liking myself every again, I don?t have any reason start disliking myself again, I?m a human who went through pain? I couldn?t control what happened in my past so I was not to blame. In my eyes I see you as being another human being? nothing more or less ? you have a right to be seen by some one who can help you Lady of shalot, as long as you breath the same air and drink the same water? you ??should?? have the same right to receive the same level of help just like any one else would. So it isn?t just you who has a problem seeing a doc? It?s your whole family? Is it expected of you not to see a doc?

Welcome to the site =)

Darren.


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## Backseatdriver (Jun 23, 2006)

Hello,Being new here,I hope what I have to contribute based on my own
experience will give some clues even though it will seem very unorthodox
to many sufferers.I speak regarding de-realization and have read the postings of which many are similar to what has happened to me.
I take no drugs but have been doing a meditation with regard to self realization for about four years now.One of the things a few of us in our group do during the working day is "self observation" which involves watching ones own body self walk talk from a third point.as a fly on the wall.When I first started doing this I witnessed the symptoms of everything
around me in the world appearing as of a stage set with dolls or like some
have described robots! Sometimes the house I live in I would return say,
from my daily work to feel I was living in a challette in a holiday camp.Also it seemed dreamlike at times too. I was terrified.But after a couple of years I began to clarify what was happening.
I began to notice that perhaps the world really is a stage with us as actors
in a way.I mean ,for example if you watch the way we design our homes to look like a set decoration from IKEA HOMEBASE " ahh that perfect kitchen or lounge ! " what about the way people sensationalize the news.
Why do death row executions mostly have to be set for midnight? This is
just the thin end of the wedge though. People really do act like robots at
times.We are taught to be stiff upper lipped and not show emotion because
it is concidered to be a sign of weakness.When we bump into somebody in
the street it is often them that say sorry.Why do we laugh at things we do
not find funny so as just to fit in with that group ? When nature has scattered such a variety of wild flowers in abundence all over the globe why do we then dig them up and plant them in rows like soldiers with lawns etc.There is really no wonder why things start to look like STEPFORD
My point is this .we are not sick on this forum! The world is we are waking up onto a higher level of conciousness---- coming out of the playpen in other words and it is going to be great but confusing for a while
That is what repentence is supposed to be about isn't it supposed to be
traumatic but eventually the desert will bloom.Do you really want to go back to that world of conditioned ideas.
You could do a lot worse than sit calmly in a chair for a half hour twice a
day and just chill and watch / listen to the sounds of the traffic or the birds
and live in the present moment .Get out of time and space for a while.
We are all waking up and it will be wonderful! Get off those poisonous
medications they are temporary relief and will damage your health also.


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## Samotrase (Jun 23, 2006)

Hi, I'm a newbie here, but was referred by a friend who showed me this page! I had never come across someone who knew so much about this "thing" that I experienced, and I never knew it was so widespread! It's such an overwhelmingly awful sensation, I am so glad to have found a place where everyone knows how this feels. I want to read as much as I can so I'll be checking the posts. Thank you in advance for being here!
Love,
Sam


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## Guest (Jun 23, 2006)

Welcome Samotrase & Backseatdriver =)


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## Samotrase (Jun 23, 2006)

Thanks so much! =)


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## Lady of Shalot (May 25, 2006)

Hi again and thank you so much for your answers.
Emulated Puppet{eer the doctor thing is not only because I don't want to go (I still resist to the idea of it, although I've asked friends for some recommendations), it's because we don't really take care of ourselves in my family...for example, my mum once stayed in bed of months, she usually hates when she can't take a shower, and back then she didn't shower in a week or so :S and even then she didn't seek for help...sooo you can imagine what she thinks of psychologists or psychiatrists, she doesn't like them at all...
About my self harming thing, I've done it to "feel" although it also started as a coping method, whenever I felt really stressed, and I don't really do it much...well Ive spent 6 months without cutting (except that slip of me cutting so that I could feel...stupid I know) and I'm proud of that of course.
Anyway, I guess I sometimes make my dp problem worse because sometimes when I feel like that I go online and it only gets worse, and I know it, and still I do it...


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## Guest (Jun 23, 2006)

GawD, I need a massage, my damn shoulders are tense =*( lol. Doctors can be nice or nasty? Seems they are related to humans and tend to come in all different shapes and sizes so why don?t you try some on, Maybe you?ll find one which fits to your liking and is comfortable. Sounds little like my family, My family tends to fend for them selves and with me having a twin sister is pretty sad because as much as we ?get on? we aren?t all that close as you would expect twins to be? You aren?t on your own here thought, even thought I?m words you read I am still a person who seems to care or I wouldn?t be using my time typing to you, I have a good idea how you feel because I?ve been there and have the t-shirt although I?ve lost weight and it doesn?t fit any more =*(. My mother was also ill when I was around 11 and for some reason I can?t really remember much about it apart from her asking if me and Lindsey (My twin) would be ok walking to school? (She took an OD). I used to self harm to heal myself after, as if I was ?mothering? myself because I wanted to feel some sort of love and passion?



> (Except that slip of me cutting so that I could feel...stupid I know)


Why is trying to feel something stupid? I don?t wish to say it is an ok thing to do but I can see the logic in it.

There are many other ways to self harm other then cutting, you can hurt your feelings? Anything which causes you pain and you made yourself do it is self harm.


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

> Why is trying to feel something stupid? I don?t wish to say it is an ok thing to do but I can see the logic in it.
> 
> There are many other ways to self harm other then cutting, you can hurt your feelings? Anything which causes you pain and you made yourself do it is self harm.


I don't advocate hurting yourself to "feel" something, but I can relate as well...when my dp etc was at it's worst I would bite and pinch myself hard as I could too see how much pain I could bear, as my senses were so dulled.

Also, I remember pulling my own hair or hitting myself in the head with my hands when I was frustrated or hating myself when I was younger (haven't done that for a while now though). Funny that I never told anyone else about it...only ever did it when I was by myself, then I would go back to whatever I was doing before and noone would have a clue.

You are right Emulated Puppet{eer, about there being many ways to hurt yourself other than the physical. That's partly how my dp started in the first place...a combination of not being able to cope with turns of events (some of my own creation) and punishing myself for unnaceptable behaviours by my own standards.

I have decided to make a real effort to stop hating myself for things I have or haven't done and for things that are and aren't my fault. I slipped into dp because I didn't want to feel hurt or disappointed anymore and am only now learning to forgive myself.


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## Guest (Jun 24, 2006)

Ahhh look at the time ?01:16?? This must be my last post for now =P. Yeah I find it interested to see how far I can handle pain? The other day I woke up and pulled my leg and the pain went on for 30 secs? AHHHH that was sincere pain my friend? I know I can feel pain and a lot of it from pulling my leg. I still pull hair? I?m not sure why thought? maybe I like the ?other place? it takes me? (I feel happier)? wow I?m talking some cr*p here? I?ll reply when I?m in the mood for making sense? Catch you later.


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