# getting a job



## Universal (May 30, 2005)

I wonder if getting a job will improve me for recovery. Even Claire Weekes said that for people suffering from mental illness it's a good idea to find a job and keep busy. Anyone think about getting a job for their recovery? I already did, just keeping my fingers crossed.


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

I do think getting a job is part of recovery, but it is very difficult working like this. If anything give it a try, it might help, it might not, but you will never know if you dont at least try. Good luck :wink:


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## derangedred (Apr 13, 2005)

sometimes i wonder how some of the people say things in here like they're so hopeless. theres a point where you stop thinking about your dp and dr and take control of it. a lot of you sound like you let it control your life. i go to school, and have a job. i work in a grocery store with bright lights, and everyone knows what walking into a store with bright lights makes you feel like, it makes you feel disconnected and weird but i think about what i have to do, and it reminds me of the movie the dream catcher based on the novel by stephen king. i feel like the dp and dr has tried to take over all my brain but it has not gotten to the real me yet, which is sitting by itself in a tiny little closet in my brain and is keeping me focused. yeah works hard but i try and keep my head on my shoulders and don't sink into the condition. sometimes i just don't feel like going to school but you larn that you only have one life and you have dp and dr and you can't waste your life trying to live by it. schools hard, works hard, having this hard but whats life without things that are hard?

a lot of you have to stop feeling sorry for yourselves and do something about it you know what i mean? sure i'd love to recover but i still try and live my life normal day by day. im only sixteen, ive had it since fourteen and its been so indescribablly hard to do this but i still make it out alive. its a poor excuse to say you're unable to do something because of it. the only time i find i think i might sink into another panic attack is when i start to think about philisophies of life, and what a perseon is and what happens after you die but if you just try and concentrate on what matters it shouldn't be too bad. i know in the summer when i didn't have school i noticed the dp and dr a lot more. i feel normal when i go out and do things. always keep busy. im a vivid drawer, and i get the most fucked ideas and dreams that come into my head from the dp and dr, and lack of reality and i draw it all down, and make some amazing pieces that have been bought off me. think about it, some artist tried to wake up in a half ocncious state to paint a painting surrealistically, none of us need to do that because everday it feels like were half unconcious.

theres plus sides to this bullshit too.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

derangedred said:


> sometimes i wonder how some of the people say things in here like they're so hopeless.


???!!! Are you kidding?



derangedred said:


> i go to school, and have a job. i work in a grocery store with bright lights, and everyone knows what walking into a store with bright lights makes you feel like


Yes I do, I work under them 8 hours a day like a lot of others here.



derangedred said:


> a lot of you have to stop feeling sorry for yourselves and do something about it you know what i mean?


We are.



derangedred said:


> sure i'd love to recover but i still try and live my life normal day by day. im only sixteen, ive had it since fourteen and its been so indescribablly hard to do this but i still make it out alive. its a poor excuse to say you're unable to do something because of it.


I've had this sh*t as long as I can remember, two years does not even compare, I don't think you have the right to be so judgmental just cuz you've had this 2 years. Jesus Christ I wish I was on year two.



derangedred said:


> the only time i find i think i might sink into another panic attack is when i start to think about philisophies of life, and what a perseon is and what happens after you die but if you just try and concentrate on what matters it shouldn't be too bad. i know in the summer when i didn't have school i noticed the dp and dr a lot more. i feel normal when i go out and do things.


I'm happy for you. Seriously, no sarcasm there. But not everyone is so lucky. I keep busy, I go out and do things not thinking of DP or triggers at all and it's still there. So please don't see myself and others as just a bunch of dumb a$$es sitting around doing nothing but feeling sorry for ourselves. That is not the case.


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2005)

i haven't posted here in a while ...this place seems...corrupted for lack of a better word. but anyways...i stopped regularyly coming here almost a year ago.

summer was always my worst time for anxiety and dp. i sat around, thought about dp and how weird i felt. it did absolutely nothing for me. 
so i decided to get a job this past summer(which i still have).

i didnt realize it until i thought about it, but getting a job has really helped. i just turned 18 so i dont have to pay for much but having the money is nice, plus it gets my mind off of stuff. the first few months of my job i was always soo nervous before going in, everyone there scared me. it didnt help that im a shy person. but i finally started feeling comfortable. it has also helped with my social skills...meeting new people and stuff. i definitely recomend getting a job because most of us could probably use the extra money and in my opinion, you have nothing to lose.

i strongly recommend the job thing. if you look hard enough, you'll find something the suits your needs and interests. a fast paced job also helps...gives you less time to think. i work in a fast food restaurant (it pays well) and always have to "look busy" which usually means do something. i pretty much agree with derangedred.

so good luck to everyone. i never thought i would get out of this whole dp cycle but I'm starting to feel normal again. and most of it is because i did something with myself, instead of sat back and watched dp do something to me. i'm not saying you all aren't doing the same thing, i'm just letting you know it worked for me.


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

there hope thats better.


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## bright23 (Jun 6, 2005)

shame? shame on a sixteen year old fellow dp sufferer?

great. this site just seems to keep going downhill.

Derangedred... there's a better way to get across what you're feeling than saying "you need to stop feeling sorry for yourselves." People are sensitive to accusations. And you sound like my dad when you say that.

I hear where you're coming from, and you had some good things to say in your post, but you can make your point in a more positive way.


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## MrMortgage (Aug 26, 2005)

ah relax everyone. Homeboy was just trying to make a point...I know where he's coming from, but some people have it worse then others, and if you think you've got it bad there is always someone out there that has it worse.

derangedred was probably just trying to vent.


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## widescreened (Jun 22, 2005)

well enough put derangered,but some people have major issues that lie behind dp/dr that other people here dont have or understand.good for you for getting a job and going to school.you are only 16 and are doing everything right,but there is a whole world of adults out there that have fought and are fighting with this thing,some having it 24/7 for a decade or more that have and are doing everything right and still struggling badly.part time jobs can be a gr8 thing for a teenager,but if someone in their late 20s,30s,40s went out and worked part time in a grocery store,it could have a bad effect on their self esteem.
this subject deserves a seperate thread about sutable employment and dp.


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2005)

I like Derangedred's post, and agree with most of it

and I do have a job, although i don't like working, i like money. But im really just working until i can start makin money off of music.

But when all is said and done,I guess its good to have a job.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

derangedred said:


> sometimes i wonder how some of the people say things in here like they're so hopeless. theres a point where you stop thinking about your dp and dr and take control of it. a lot of you sound like you let it control your life. i go to school, and have a job. i work in a grocery store with bright lights, and everyone knows what walking into a store with bright lights makes you feel like, it makes you feel disconnected and weird but i think about what i have to do, and it reminds me of the movie the dream catcher based on the novel by stephen king. i feel like the dp and dr has tried to take over all my brain but it has not gotten to the real me yet, which is sitting by itself in a tiny little closet in my brain and is keeping me focused. yeah works hard but i try and keep my head on my shoulders and don't sink into the condition. sometimes i just don't feel like going to school but you larn that you only have one life and you have dp and dr and you can't waste your life trying to live by it. schools hard, works hard, having this hard but whats life without things that are hard?
> 
> a lot of you have to stop feeling sorry for yourselves and do something about it you know what i mean? sure i'd love to recover but i still try and live my life normal day by day. im only sixteen, ive had it since fourteen and its been so indescribablly hard to do this but i still make it out alive. its a poor excuse to say you're unable to do something because of it. the only time i find i think i might sink into another panic attack is when i start to think about philisophies of life, and what a perseon is and what happens after you die but if you just try and concentrate on what matters it shouldn't be too bad. i know in the summer when i didn't have school i noticed the dp and dr a lot more. i feel normal when i go out and do things. always keep busy. im a vivid drawer, and i get the most flower* ideas and dreams that come into my head from the dp and dr, and lack of reality and i draw it all down, and make some amazing pieces that have been bought off me. think about it, some artist tried to wake up in a half ocncious state to paint a painting surrealistically, none of us need to do that because everday it feels like were half unconcious.
> 
> theres plus sides to this bullshit too.


This post is real talk ya'll, as much as anyone hates to admit it. What he said here is all very well said. Yes, alot of us have been dealing with it for alot longer than two years, but this post is right, there is no reason to always feel sorry for yourself and complain and dwell on it. It just DOESN'T help. Sure venting here and there is fine, but coming on here 24/7 is not gonna help at all. Having a job is something that is good to have. Sitting at home doing nothing makes this shit worse. We need to try to make ourselves feel as productive, worthwhile and appreciated as possible. This more than likely means having a job, working out/excercising, finding hobbies and interests, interacting with friends who share common interests and also learning new things. It's hard and trust me I go through some depressive times that I don't think I'm going to make it. But I keep pushing on and stay on the schedule. Continue to work out, go to work, etc...etc....and it will get better.


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## MrMortgage (Aug 26, 2005)

kelson12 said:


> derangedred said:
> 
> 
> > sometimes i wonder how some of the people say things in here like they're so hopeless. theres a point where you stop thinking about your dp and dr and take control of it. a lot of you sound like you let it control your life. i go to school, and have a job. i work in a grocery store with bright lights, and everyone knows what walking into a store with bright lights makes you feel like, it makes you feel disconnected and weird but i think about what i have to do, and it reminds me of the movie the dream catcher based on the novel by stephen king. i feel like the dp and dr has tried to take over all my brain but it has not gotten to the real me yet, which is sitting by itself in a tiny little closet in my brain and is keeping me focused. yeah works hard but i try and keep my head on my shoulders and don't sink into the condition. sometimes i just don't feel like going to school but you larn that you only have one life and you have dp and dr and you can't waste your life trying to live by it. schools hard, works hard, having this hard but whats life without things that are hard?
> ...


Getting a fine girl also helps LOL


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

im not working but routine helps me ....lack of routine will just make dp worse,you really do need a pattern in your life (until you get well)...i had a massive surge of nerves earlier so i thought f**k it get out and go for a walk !
i dont so much get good or bad days anymore but i get brief spells where i feel bad.....work is the best thing to do if you can manage it,failing that get some sort of routine going which involves moving around


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## derangedred (Apr 13, 2005)

Firstly i'd like to say that i am infact not male, i am female. I think you guys need to understand that Ive never been an optimist and to candy coat you through dreams is ridiculous. I'm not here to 'vent' but it seems all everyone does is bitch and whine. Yeah i get that ive only had it for two years, but in those two years ive learned not to let it control me, and to deal with it whereas some people haven't even go thtat far yet. my dad used to ask me why i was always on this site, and i came to realize i was getting obsessed with having this dp/dr and sure, theres being self aware and thent heres being obsessed. do you really need to know every undying detail about this condition? we all know what its like, but theres seems to be a lot of pity. don't think that iv'e had it so easy either. i get told that im a disappointment every single day but i don't let it bother me. to do that is just weak. everyone can think better for themselves. thanks to "kelson12" who finally understands what im saying. whats the point of sitting on your computer religiously coming to this site and hoping it goes away? the more you think about it the worse it gets. do you really want to look back on your life and find out that a lot of years were wasted because you felt too disoriented or dumbfounded to do things because of the dp/dr?

someone always has it worse, i know that. people need to put their sensitivity in the closet and get real. your not gunna get anywhere if you let everything bother you to a large extent. as for "peacedove" no one on this site is absoulutly hopeless, and thats a fact so don't even say "are you kidding?" like its not true because no one is ever hopeless, they're only ever hopeless because they don't want to help themselves. oh, and don't even bother telling me i don't have the RIGHT to say anything about dp/dr you may have had it for twenty years for all i know, but its the same condition it does the same things so why don't i have the right to talk about it. its like watching i love lucy when it came out and then watching it ten years later for the first time. what gives the person who watched it ten years later the right to talk about it? freedom does.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

derangedred said:


> as for "peacedove" no one on this site is absoulutly hopeless, and thats a fact so don't even say "are you kidding?" like its not true because no one is ever hopeless, they're only ever hopeless because they don't want to help themselves.


I'm not saying we're hopeless. I know very well we aren't. I said "are you kidding" because you said you wonder how some of us "say things in here like we're hopeless." I meant how can you not feel hopeless at times. It's easy to see how we might feel this way.



derangedred said:


> oh, and don't even bother telling me i don't have the RIGHT to say anything about dp/dr you may have had it for twenty years for all i know, but its the same condition it does the same things so why don't i have the right to talk about it.


I never said you don't have the right to say anything about DP. I was saying that having it for two years doesn't make you an expert on it, not that having it as long as I have makes me an expert either. Different things work for different people. And some things that work don't work for everyone, so it's not that no one has got off their ass and tried what you are suggesting.

And I took it personally since I am working and going on with daily life as "normal" and still feel the same.

Your post just seemed to have an insensitive, condescending air to it. But it also had a lot of good points so I'm sorry all I responded to was the negativity.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

derangedred.

you wrote:


> *people need to put their sensitivity in the closet and get real. your not gunna get anywhere if you let everything bother you to a large extent.* as for "peacedove" no one on this site is absoulutly hopeless, and thats a fact so don't even say "are you kidding?" like its not true because no one is ever hopeless, they're only ever hopeless because they don't want to help themselves. oh, and don't even bother telling me i don't have the RIGHT to say anything about dp/dr you may have had it for twenty years for all i know, but its the same condition it does the same things so why don't i have the right to talk about it. its like watching i love lucy when it came out and then


I PMd you. But agree w/Peacedove and a few others that this really only comes across as hostile.

People here have similar symptoms, but not necessarily the same condition. Some have drug-induced DP/DR, some have it episodically, some have it 24/7, etc.

Some are severely disabled others are less bothered by this.

Back to my mantra. People are unique. No one needs to be attacked here.

I do agree that being occupied is very helpful, but there have been times in my life where the DP/DR were so bad, I could not function. And please don't say I didn't try to get off my ass and was feeling sorry for myself.

That's unnecessary.

Why be so hostile? Condescending is indeed the word.

D
The old lady. :roll:


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2005)

Derangedred, your criticism of others here is actually your own inner voice shaming yourself for being weak. You even cited your father's ignorance and rejection of YOUR sensitivity. Your adolescent anger is really about your parents, not us. You need to vent someplace because you're terrified of confronting your parents. You have no awareness of your true feelings. 
If you were truly comfortable with your choice to suppress your true self and feelings, you wouldn't be posting scornful criticism of others. You would feel peaceful and comfortable with the "weaknesses" of others.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

deranged, you did make some good points but unfortunately you chose to make the post, as a whole, very hostile and condescending. if you want people to respond to your posts in a more positive way, you might try not attacking people who are having a harder time than you.


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2005)

life isn't about always being positive

you need a balance


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## bright23 (Jun 6, 2005)

who's attacking who now?


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

i don't get nervous or panicky anymore, i just pretty much feel nothing not here, not alive, at all. if i go out or go to work its like someone else is in my place, like i'm not doing whatever i am doing at that moment, or thinking what i'm thinkin, when i talk its strange, when i walk its strange, when i try to connect to things and people its strange. when i try to use my senses its strange. my senses are all messed up. i have no physical sensations, no physical pain, no feelings or emotions. no sense of life or reality. i don't know who i am, where i am most of the time. time has no meaning, even my family has no meaning.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

for me i don't think i was a positive or a negative thinker, i'd like to consider myself a realest. i say whats real. its not like i don't try to go out, try to communciate, play ball, hang out, i do these things, just not like i used to and there's no fun or meaning in it for me. we all have dp/dr but not everyone has it 24/7 or as bad as others. i agree i shouldn't stay home all the time, and i should take a few classes and work part time. but i don't have a car, i can't do these things regulaly without a car, and i'm not really supposed to drive until i can feel my body and can connect to it and things around me. i got into an accident cuz of this during the summer. i really want everything back, i want to drive,and enjoy it. i want to feel in control know what i'm doing and feel like i'm actually doing it, but i can't and i don't know when i will. its hell.


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2005)

I don't get how people can say " they don't feel their body"

if that was the case, you would be numb all the time, like literally numb..............


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

well i guess i am numb all the time then.


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2005)

so how do you move and function??

if someone was to cut you or you were to get injured you wouldn't feel any pain?


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

i can move and function it just feels like i'm not doing it. like there is nothing attached to me. i feel like a puppet and someone is the puppet master pulling my strings or whatever. i don't really understand it myself. its hard for me too make sense of all this as well. and yea if someone cut me i would feel no pain. yesterday my dad pulled off this sticker thingy i had on my wrist and it pulled off some hair on it, and he was like that didn't hurt and i was like nope.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

SoulBrotha said:


> I don't get how people can say " they don't feel their body"
> 
> if that was the case, you would be numb all the time, like literally numb..............


SB,
The fact that you don't understand that particular expression is exactly what I'm talking about. I know exactly what livinginhell is talking about.

If I understand, and you don't, then you have a different degree of this... that isn't better or worse, you're suffering as well, but one person can't generalize what others feel like from what they feel like.

I have had episodes so bad, where I feel my body literally doesn't exist. If someone were to throw me down a flight of stairs I wouldn't feel it. Or perhaps it wouldn't matter.

I sincerely believe, in my case, this is neurological. If you looked into some of the books I'm always yammering on about, you would see there are distortions of perception that people have, and some are very severe and completely incapacitating.

I went through a time when I hated taking a shower or bath as I couldn't tell the difference between the water and my skin. I KNEW that wasn't how I was supposed to feel. I wasn't psychotic, but something was terribly wrong in my processing of Self and the world. I also hated the feeling of sheets on my body when I was a kid. I couldn't tell where the sheets ended and I began.

You know how difficult it is to express your own experience, even to a doctor. These particular experiences are equally difficult to explain. It doesn't mean livinginhell is exaggerating, or that I am exagerrating or whatever.

People here have experiences I don't understand, but I would never belittle them, or accuse them of "giving in" to something.

Read V.S. Ramachandran "Phantoms in the Brain" and "A Brief Tour of Human Consciousness" or read Oliver Sacks "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat", "An Anthrolopologist on Mars". These are fascinating and discuss distortions of perception.

Best,
D
Not being argumentative, just trying to make a point that EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE IS UNIQUE.

I understand completely what livinginhell means. He and I share a certain version of this experience. You have a variation. Neither good nor bad, it just IS.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

Soulbrotha said:


> if someone was to cut you or you were to get injured you wouldn't feel any pain?


Soul you bring up another very interesting point here. There are people with DP/DR, people ON THIS BOARD, some of whom I have met (from Andy's Board) who cut themselves. Literally cause scars all over their bodies.... to make themselves feel.

That isn't the only reason for the cutting, and I don't feel compelled to do it, but I can understand that one's body can "feel like it's asleep", when your foot is asleep -- bad metaphor/analogy whatever -- and you have to pound on it to "wake it up."

It's like that for me, yet not. It is an AS IF experience that you KNOW isn't right, but it is REAL.

Again, I see this as a neurological failure in brain processing -- neurochemical, cognitive ... Mt. Sinai, the IoP,and others are trying to understand.

Why would someone cut themselves? I have asked a few and they say, "It makes me feel more alive."

Some do it out of self-destruction. I'm not an expert on it. You can Google it, but it comes with some people here on the Board.


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## derangedred (Apr 13, 2005)

I have dp and dr all the time, twenty four seven. i used to get it only when i did drugs but then it progressed into an everyday thing. i don't see why anyone can accept any criticism here. i just don't appreciate people telling me that i dont have the right to talk about this. of course im not expert, of course i don't think im an expert. im just making a point. im not 'afraid' inside, i don't express my hostility because of my parents. i accepted along time ago that my life wouldn't be like anyone elses. maybe seeing your dad punch your moms face in a few times and watching your mother attempt suicide a few times doesnt' exactly make you the most "positive" kid. ive learned to fend for myself i guess. independant is the way i like to be. but please, don't tell me my parents are the cause for my hostility because all it does is piss me off.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

yea i get the thing with the shower and the bed sheets as well.


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2005)

so Dreamer do you think that its neurological for the majority of people on here? I mean I have had to brain tests done, an EEG which showed ONE slight abnormality which the doctor declared as insignificant and I had a catscan done that looked perfectly normal.....

Im just trying to get a better understanding of these things


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

SoulBrotha said:


> so Dreamer do you think that its neurological for the majority of people on here? I mean I have had to brain tests done, an EEG which showed ONE slight abnormality which the doctor declared as insignificant and I had a catscan done that looked perfectly normal.....
> 
> Im just trying to get a better understanding of these things


Soul,
I understand. Yes, I believe 100% that this is some sort of neurological condition. It involves cognitive function, perception of Self, etc. Things do show up on tests in research. PET Scans, etc. fMRI. A doctor isn't going to order those tests for you as they are extremely expensive and considered unnecessary.

One day, I believe there will be better understanding of this illness, better ways of measuring it.

I've had an EEG and a clean CAT scan, done years ago. Nothing. Those two diagnostic tools obviously can't properly measure DP/DR ...

For instance, I had a mammogram last month. It showed abnormalities that are probably nothing. But they can't tell what these stupid things are from that, so they will give me an ultrasound next week. If they think that shows something suspicious they will biopsy.

And it's probably nothing. Women my age go through this all the time. Some 30 years ago, which isn't that long ago.... women didn't get mammograms on a routine basis, though they existed. Something as simple as that which was considered a "big deal" to get is now a standard diagnostic and preventative procedure.

*EDIT:* Forgot to say, over the years of having mammograms (breast cancer in the family) each and every year I see advances in the technology. It is astounding. The old machines didn't read things that can be seen now. They have digital views now (more expensive on insurance) that show potentially cancerous spots MUCH earlier than even 2 years ago. These are "X-Rays" as I understand them. They could not see the same things on the machines of several years ago.

Bottom line, medicine isn't perfect, and the brain is the most difficult organ to understand and study, and the study of SELF, of CONSCIOUSNESS is the most difficult part of the brain to study.

If you go to the IoP site, there are articles galore on the studies done in DP. It is not a research priority, other mental illnesses are. One day it will be. One step at a time.

Neurology is in its infancy.

Oh and for those with drug-induced DP/DR, if we agree that psychotropic meds affect us, obviously rec drugs do... they cause changes in the neurochemistry of the brain.

There is also more than enough evidence that schizophrenia and bipolar are medical illnesses.

Yes there are psychological aspects, triggers, stress, but I believe, and people misunderstand me when I say this that Mind IS Brain. Therein lies the question of Free Will.

But I do know that with DP, I have responded well to certain meds and my DP/DR have gotten less hideous. Doing much better than in earlier years.

I wish I had had the same meds I'm on now when I was 15. It would have given me more hope, so this didn't feel so conditioned. But I will never accept this as a part of me. It is an illness.

D


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## dakotajo (Aug 10, 2004)

I dont believe that there is anything wrong neurologically. When the FOF system becomes engaged, adrenaline is released and it triggers the body to shunt blood from the extremities and its sent internally. Its the bodies healthy way of protecting itself from bleeding to death in a fight. I believe this is the reason a persons body perceptions change. I used to feel chronically that my body was hollow and I couldnt feel my extremities or they felt light and hollow. When the anxiety used to get really bad my feet would become cold and my hands would go numb. These are sure signs of a change in blood flow. When I came out of my anxiety state, my body became "solid" again. These symptoms are nothing more than HEALTHY secondary symptoms of anxiety.


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## dakotajo (Aug 10, 2004)

In a nutshell, anxiety disorders and all their symptoms are nothing more than exaggerations of the FOF system.


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