# Do I have DP?



## therese cowen

Hi, I am new here and am not sure if I have DP. I have had anxiety almost all of my life, however never experienced anything like this before. I don't have a lot of the symptoms that many of you have. My main symptom is that I feel totally spaced out 24/7, like I am in a dream or that I have been drugged. I have had this for almost 2 years and been to doctors, specialists, a psychiatrist, had heaps of tests which have all come back normal. I first noticed this after waking up from having anaesthesia but it didn't go away at all and has got progressively worse since (by that I mean more spacey). The doctors don't have a clue, the psychiatrist didn't think it was DP, he said I wouldn't have it constantly and that it would come and go if it were. But I have read here that some of you do have it constantly. I was wondering if the anaesthesia was the trigger for this occurring, just as marijuana was the trigger for a lot of you. My other symptoms are that I am very fatigued even if I sleep 8 or 9 hours, and lack of concentration. Also, past events (even 5 minutes ago) seem like they happened a long time ago.

I would really like your replies as to whether you think I have DP, expecially anyone who has mainly got the spacies as a symptom and who has been professionally diagnosed. Please help.


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## bridge of sighs

i have the same symptoms feeling spacey ,feeling drugged. extreme fatigue well one dr tells me it is gad, depression and dp another says it just gad . i just don't know


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## therese cowen

Hi bridge of sighs, thanks for your reply. The psychiatrist I went to also diagnosed me with GAD and depression. I wasn't depressed until all this started. Are you on any medication that has helped with the spaced out feeling. I have tried Avanza (Remeron), Serenace (Haliperidol?), various naturopathic substances and am now on Endep (Amitriptyline). Also, I take the occasional Klonopin (.25mg) especially if I have to drive somewhere. When I take this I have noticed that the spacey feeling is not quite as bad, but I am scared to take a larger dose or take it regularly because of addiction, although sometimes I am very tempted.

I have been trying to live my life as I did before this began, but it is very hard to get any enjoyment out of anything when my mind is so focussed on myself and how I am feeling. I try to get my mind off it, but it is hard when you are at home doing mundane tasks that need to be done. When I am outside it doesn't seem as bad.

My main fear is that it will get so bad that I will totally lose touch with reality. (Does anyone know of someone this has happened to, or does it just get to a certain level then not get any worse)? What were the circumstances of getting yours?

Again thanks for replying. I would still like to hear from any others who have been diagnosed just with the spaced out, drugged feeling as being DP. I would just like to KNOW what it is. :?:


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## Capt-Hook

You will never go completely crazy from DP no matter how bad you think it's getting. You say you weren't depressed until this happened. When this happened to me I was never anxious or depressed, at all. A lot of the time this stuff is clinical. At first I kept telling myself, "I don't have anxiety. I'm just anxious about the way I'm feeling." But, soon I realized what I'm feeling is anxiety, just in a different symptom. There are to many symptoms of anxiety and depersonalization to count. Also, I'm curious; how old are you? I know my entire family has anxiety and it was onset by adulthood. When I turned nineteen it flicked on like a switch.


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## therese cowen

Hi, thanks for your reply. I am 50, but please do not let my age stop anyone from communicating with me. I know a lot of you are a lot younger, and I don't care if anyone smokes pot (I did a few times when I was younger, just didn't like the effect.) We are all in this together for support and also to share things we have tried to make us feel a bit better.

Thanks again.


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## Annabelle

Hi Therese,
I have been very interesting in your post because it seems that my DP/DR started the same way yours started.
I am in my 50's too and the condition started 2 years and a half ago after surgery and heavy medication. I felt very tired, mentally and physically exhausted and very disconnected from the environment. It was very scary and weird. Everything felt strange around me. I couldn't worked anymore or do basic daily tasks. After 2 years and a half, I am a little better but DP/DR is still there and I haven't been able to work again. I still feel weird and very tired and annoyed with the condition. Doctors don't understand what wrong with me. They tell me it's depression but I don't think so. I personnaly think that the shock of surgery, medication and fatigue gave me DP and that I have now a brain or neurological dysfonction. Before, I had a life, a job, a lot of activities and used to travel a lot. I had to give up all that. Medication against depression never helped. Made the condition even worse.
So I would like to communicate with you Therese to exchange, compare, try to understand and maybe find a cure...


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## AllmindnoBrain

Capt-Hook said:


> You will never go completely crazy from DP no matter how bad you think it's getting. .


I dont know if i completely agree with that statement.

I do have the spacies and am dp'd constantly with out any breaks of clarity. I too had was under anesthesia when i was around 10 years old, and that is around the time i become aware of how out of it i felt all of the time, although i am convinced i have been like this since birth.


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## therese cowen

Hi again, thanks for your replies. It is very interesting to note that both of you had anaesthesia prior to this occuring.

At first I thought that the anaesthesia damaged my brain somehow, although a Cat Scan and MRI were normal. Then after finding this site and reading that marijuana triggered DP in so many people, I thought that the anaesthesia (being a drug also) may have triggered it.

I did see a psychologist early on, and he said that PERHAPS something in my brain did not fire up again properly after the anaesthesia.

I just don't know. I am currently seeing a counsellor. She said that I may never know, and that I should try to live with it and not focus on it, which I have been trying to do, but it is not easy when you feel so out of it all the time.

Annabelle, did you have anxiety at all before this started? Also, you said that medication for depression made it worse. Are you still on the medication and if so, which one? My GP wants me to up my dose of Endep (amitriptyline), to see if that helps, but I personally don't think it will.


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## Capt-Hook

AllmindnoBrain said:


> Capt-Hook said:
> 
> 
> 
> You will never go completely crazy from DP no matter how bad you think it's getting. .
> 
> 
> 
> I dont know if i completely agree with that statement.
> 
> I do have the spacies and am dp'd constantly with out any breaks of clarity. I too had was under anesthesia when i was around 10 years old, and that is around the time i become aware of how out of it i felt all of the time, although i am convinced i have been like this since birth.
Click to expand...

By completely crazy, I meant that you will never lose total touch with reality 100%. You'll never get to the point where YOU (your.. "spirit", if you will) don't exist and an insane mindless corpse is left. It can still get really bad. I have DP chronically, as well. But, I don't consider it completely crazy.


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## Annabelle

Hi Therese,
Yes I was an anxious person before I had DP but I had no depression.
I have had a very stressful life and I think this is one of the cause of my DP along with surgery and medication. Antidepressants made it worse because I felt more tired and disconnected. Actually most of the time I feel mentally EXHAUSTED although I have a normal sleep. A psychiatrist and a neurologist told me I will never get better...
I keep hoping I will get better and I do -ups and downs.
I am thinking of taking AD again in small amount or taking natural herb to calm me down because I am kind of tense up.


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## therese cowen

Annabelle, I didn't have depression until all this started also. Why did the doctors say you will never get well? If they say it's depression, then that's treatable. If you were always anxious and had a stressful life then that may be the cause of your DP and the surgery and anaesthesia may have been the trigger for it.
The only thing that helps me is clonazepam, which is a benzodiazepine and it is addictive so I don't take it very often. It seems to help a number of people on this site. 
Also I have read that Lamotrigine combined with an SSRI anti-drpressant is also supposed to help. One of the members "Darren" has started Lamotrigine, so he may know if it is helping yet. 
I also feel exhausted constantly even if I have slept well .
Am going away for a few days - don't know how that will go.
Take care
Therese


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## synchronicity

Hi everyone

I'm new here, and immediately I've found myself barely functioning. I found myself typing in the wrong words, my mind went blank, and I felt huge anxiety around this whole subject.

To me, it's as though some silent, impossible to change force took control of me, and just wanted me to mess up. Deep down inside, that's just how I feel - that I'll fall apart, not be able to function, my mind will blank and I'll just sit, dumbfounded and shaky.

It's ALWAYS been like this when I've really gone for the "nitty gritty" of this problem. It's as though there's some monster who's determined to NEVER let me really function properly, happily, easily.

I've just always gone for it, and then the fog has come in. Fog in my head, that stops me being able to think at all clearly.

Can anyone relate to this?


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## Annabelle

Synchronicity, sorry but I don't relate to your symptoms. I think you should stard a new topic on the forum.
Therese, I hope you had a good time off and were able to forget your DP for a while.
I do not know why these two doctors told me that I will never get rid of my DP or the condition I am in. I don't even know if they know anything about DP... Yes I am on clonazepam too. It's helps but doesn't cure. I suspect that it might be a cause of my condition because my brain is so foggy and my mind so sleeping and tired. I have decided to slow that stuff down although I don't take much of it. Did you know that it is a medication for epilepsy as well as for anxiety ?
I have read a lot about Lamotrigine, how it help people. Isn't that medecine against epilepsy too ? Would we have some kind of epilepsy ???
Take care.


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## therese cowen

Annabelle, why do you think that clonazepam might be a cause for your condition? I know one of the withdrawal symptoms of clonazepam is DP/DR, in fact, when I first got this, one of the thoughts I had was 'what if I had somehow become addicted to Clonazepam and was suffering withdrawal.' (even though I was only taking a small amount 3-4 times a week).

I was tested for epilepsy only a few months ago and my results were normal.

Will contact you personally in the next day or so.

Take care
Therese


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## cheezwiz45

Hi My name is Ashwin. After reading about a nine inch nails film on wikipedia, I started to suffer DP.  I feel like im in a dream and that if my Dp does go away, anything I do afterwards will remind me of of it. I've been suffering for four weeks and I don't know weather or not its going to stop. I can't focus on my homework, play games, read or even talk to my friends becuase im petrified that it will effect me. I went to see my phscologist but he said just not to think about it and ignore it. WHAT SHOULD I DOO???


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## therese cowen

Hi cheezwiz45,

The best advice I can give you is to read some of the stories in On the Road to Recovery. Different things help different people, but many people have been helped by continuing on with their lives regardless of how they feel trying not to focus on it and eventually it gets better. The post by Bergman is very good.

Medication has helped some, but not all, people so read the Personal Experiences with Medication section also.

Good luck.


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## kioreija

Just wondering.. -- Can anaesthesia trigger it.. 
I'm curious... Because the second time I really... /really/ started having DP/DR (other than in childhood), was when I went to hospital and was put under... *thinks*


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