# Hello everyone. Can somebody tell me if this is DP?



## andrevmorais (Aug 8, 2015)

Hello everyone, my name is Andre im 20 and i would like to have a second guess on what I'm actually going through. First of all, i'm portuguese so excuse me for my shitty english.

Well, i started feeling like im feeling now 2 months ago, but before this i was already feeling strange and depressed, the strangest thing is that i don't know exactly how it scalated, it feels like parts of my memory were erased and eventhough i try I can't remember the exact moment i started to feel like shit or what happened in my life to make this happen.
Before these 2 months, i remember talking to my friends about how strange i was feeling and having these questions on my mind, like "what am I supposed to do?" or "what am i supposed to say to people" when this was nothing like me, i used to know (or i thought i knew) just what to say to people and how to act in every situation, i used to be able to talk about almost everything but at this moment everything seemed pointless and without sense.
Then some night for some reason i just thought "maybe im going crazy", this possibility scared the shit out of me and the anxiety started, but for some days i only felt this anxiety at night before sleep.

At that moment I was living with a friend of mine because i was kicked out of my parents house, i knew i could go back to my parents because i kept in touch with my siblings and they told me that, but i had planned that i would only go back when i had my life planned, and without this happening i just thought that maybe it was time to go home, apologize to my parents and see if i could go back, so i went and they accepted me back. I noticed that i wasn't feeling anything, i knew that i was happy to see them but i didnt feel any happier to come back and being again with my family, it just made me a little bit more confortable. The anxiety was worse the first days i came back to my parents place, and after a few days i was not even feeling anxiety. 
So its been 2 months since I came back and every single day its a struggle to understand what its going on with me, i used to be very close to my friends and miss them just a few days after not seeing them and now it seems like i dont have feelings eventhough i know what people are most important to me. It feels like every concept i built in my mind just vanished, i can't keep a conversation, nothing gives me pleasure, i can't fight for my goals, i'm a musician and i don't have the will to play music, music doesn't touch me like it used to, my mind doesnt make sense, i can't concentrate on most things and my memory fails a lot. I used to smoke hash everyday and at the beginning i thought it was because of it so i quitted, but nothing changed. Sometimes i say things and right after i ask myself "how do i know this" because I feel like i dont know anything at all. I started looking for my symptoms and i discovered this mental state or whatever called DP and i related a lot to most symptoms but i dont feel anxious anymore and i dont feel like im living in a dream like most people describe it, so i just dont know. Can somebody help me?


----------



## TheBadge (Aug 10, 2015)

Hi Andre,

Well done for reaching out...it's a great start to recovery...I've had that hopeless feeling before where you feel uninspired, it's not the best place to be...u may not have DP specifically but DP, in my opinion, is a symptom of depression...depression comes in many forms, not able to get out of bed, no interest, even an active mind...

Do u find yourself feeling tired often? Did u feel better writing your feelings down?

From what I've learnt, it's all in our heads, this is a very tough concept to grasp but your thoughts have created your current situation...but this has also impacted on your body...this information is very empowering because now you can change your thoughts (because your in control of your own thoughts) and start healing your body...you may have smoked hash coz you didn't really care and enjoyed the feeling...or, your friends did it so u followed but drugs are a dead end so let them go...

I think a useful tool to begin is a self help audio disk that u can listen to over and over...treat your mind like a computer and u are now starting to reprogram it with positivity...you have to be consistent and listen to this daily, let it sink in...family will notice how your changing...check out 'hayhouse.com, u should find something suitable there...

The best part is your not going crazy...

I hope u have some success


----------



## cellardoor (May 27, 2015)

what you said about not being able to pinpoint how it started and your memory being hazy is very similar to me. I think I've had my symptoms on and off for 2 years but I'm still no closer to remembering the beginning! I hope you find a way to feel better again x


----------

