# eye contact



## frusion (Aug 1, 2010)

for some reason eye contact for me with other people is very difficult. I dont know why, just all of a sudden when i reach eye contact with someone i get scared and want to pull away, and when that fear comes over me i cant listen to what theyre saying or what im going to say. Has anyone else experienced this problem? and what can i do to make it easier? I dont remember having this problem before depersonalization.


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## lindsayloo (Jun 23, 2010)

yup!!!!!


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

yeah I used to be the same but it went away with my dp/dr


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## frusion (Aug 1, 2010)

what do you ussually try to do about it? what makes it worse for me is i notice the persons face expression and response to my fear/ pulling back, and it really bothers me aswell. Its probly what most bothers me is other peoples reactions. like im a freak.


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## frusion (Aug 1, 2010)

@babybowrain oh really? how did you fully overcome it?


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

frusion said:


> @babybowrain oh really? how did you fully overcome it?


I got some worse illnesses than dp so I'm not a good person to ask...I started taking risperdol and it just went away i guess? I think I had from stress from school. Also I got more interested in boys and stuff and just daydreamed about "the love of my life" which changed often and I think that distracted me...


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

frusion said:


> for some reason eye contact for me with other people is very difficult. I dont know why, just all of a sudden when i reach eye contact with someone i get scared and want to pull away, and when that fear comes over me i cant listen to what theyre saying or what im going to say. Has anyone else experienced this problem? and what can i do to make it easier? I dont remember having this problem before depersonalization.


i'm totally the same way. try looking at their mouth instead or somewhere near the eyes but not directly into the eyes. looking people in the eyes is the most awkward thing for me too. i usually just look at them, like the whole person or the whole head if i'm close to someone and if forced to look close look at the mouth instead of the eyes. don't know why it's so weird.


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## BlueTank (Jun 2, 2010)

This is VERY common. All the people in my family who have suffered do this and now it makes sense to em. I'm personally a hardcore eye contact guy. And even now I force it. During the worst DP/DR it was really hard. THings have gotten better and i've been better at it.

If you hear about somebody having anxiety issues just watch for it. they might look at you for a second and then look above you. Tons of people do this. Some people are insecure or whatever. But a lot of people it just causes anxiety because it is common that with DP/DR peopels eyes just look really strange. Theres youtube videos full of that stuff - people talking about how they can't "stand to look at peoples eyes".

Never was a problem for me. at all. infact i HATED when people wore shades cause i couldn't see their eyes. I hated not seeing eyes, it would drive me nutts.

Now that is not really the case


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## sonnl (Apr 15, 2009)

It was always tolerable, and a hard habbit to break because I was always tought to always look someone in the eyes when your talking to them, but its gotten pretty unbearable to do so latley. It adds to my anxiety too, because I feel like if someones not looking you in the eyes, they're lying or hiding something, so when im not looking someone in the eyes, I always think thats what their thinking about me.


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## frusion (Aug 1, 2010)

surfingisfun001 said:


> i'm totally the same way. try looking at their mouth instead or somewhere near the eyes but not directly into the eyes. looking people in the eyes is the most awkward thing for me too. i usually just look at them, like the whole person or the whole head if i'm close to someone and if forced to look close look at the mouth instead of the eyes. don't know why it's so weird.


 I think its so strange/scary because were so tuned into ourselves and how we're doing with our dp that we start to overthink how were also appearing to the other person. The eyes are the windows to that persons thoughts and in our insecure self monitizing state, someone elses thoughts and judgements about us seem hard to handle.


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## frusion (Aug 1, 2010)

sonnl said:


> It was always tolerable, and a hard habbit to break because I was always tought to always look someone in the eyes when your talking to them, but its gotten pretty unbearable to do so latley. It adds to my anxiety too, because I feel like if someones not looking you in the eyes, they're lying or hiding something, so when im not looking someone in the eyes, I always think thats what their thinking about me.


 yeah, i think what im worried about when making eye contact is 1) dont know where to look. 2) when i look somewhere on that persons face that i stare at that one part for too long. and 3) most importantly, there reactions to my strangeness. Im SO tuned into myself that i moniter every little move i make when people are around all the way down to where my eyes go. feels like a prison.


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