# Memory loss



## Opus131

Does anyone experience severe memory loss with their derealization? I've been suffering from this feeling of unreality, which has become progressively worst with each passing day. Its like the world is slowly disappearing and being replaced with darkness. I'm not sure if this can be really defined as derealization or if it could be brain fog, such as that caused by thyroid dysfunction, which people seem to describe in a very similar manner:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Thyroid-Disorders/Mental-fogginess-altered-state-of-consciousness/show/467998

But one thing that has been bothering me, even more then the derealization, is the memory loss. All my memories are vague and distant, almost nonexistent. Its like they are slowly fading away. This includes past memories as well as recent ones. I mean, i wake up in the morning, go to work, and by launch time i struggle to remember everything that happened between that time period. I have to struggle to remember what i did yesterday, what movie did i watch, what game i played, whether i went somewhere and so forth, and when it does come back to me its so distant and faint that it feels like its not there at all. I've read a lot posts here and nobody ever mentions memory so i'm not sure if this is truly an effect of the derealization or if it may be caused by something else. I got to the point where i barely even feel anxious anymore since nothing seems to matter, not even the fact that i'm sick, because whatever i try to mull things over in my brain there's nothing to mull over about, since my memory is non-existent. All i feel is darkness, 24 hours a day. Please, let me know if anybody is experiencing something similar.

BTW, i have no feeling of depersonalization and never had. Is this normal at all?


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## RenZimE

Your account of symptoms certainly sounds familiar. A lot of people experience DP and DR in a variety of manners with different aspects of each illness being more or less prominent to the individual. I personally don't suffer so much from memory loss, but moreso the severely decreased perception of the "now". While it scares me how distorted the "now" appears to me, recalling things has not been a problem. However I know from reading the forums that quite a lot of people do infact suffer quite badly from memory loss or a altered perception of memory where they begin to doubt the validity of the things they are recalling.

My best advice is that if it is troubling you that much, definately go and see your family doctor. Afterall, anything that affects the memory and therefore the brain should indeed be looked into by a professional. Best of luck to you :]


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## wouhou

Hi, my memory is so bad too , i don't recall a lot of my childhood while i got only 20 years..

When you say "I got to the point where i barely even feel anxious anymore since nothing seems to matter", i'm same, i got anxiety but far far away,
i don't smell it a lot, i hope you understand what i want to say, my english don't help me







.

I'm at your disposition if you want to speack about that =).


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## Katezorz

The memory loss aspect of DP is caused by A.) the fact that we are going through dp/dr which is dissociation and B.) extreme anxiety causes memory impairment. Most of us, if not all, are having memory problems. I cannot for the life of me remember what I did yesterday. Or, scratch that. I can remember the facts of what I did yesterday, but I cannot picture it in my head. Someone will tell me to do something, and I have to ask them again 5 minutes later what they asked me to do. It's annoying, but this symptom will go away once anxiety is under control.


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## wouhou

Katezorz said:


> The memory loss aspect of DP is caused by A.) the fact that we are going through dp/dr which is dissociation and B.) extreme anxiety causes memory impairment. Most of us, if not all, are having memory problems. I cannot for the life of me remember what I did yesterday. Or, scratch that. I can remember the facts of what I did yesterday, but I cannot picture it in my head. Someone will tell me to do something, and I have to ask them again 5 minutes later what they asked me to do. It's annoying, but this symptom will go away once anxiety is under control.


Hi Katezorz!
When i'm very dissocied, my anxiety is blurred, i smell it much less, as you?


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## lg0024

Opus131 said:


> Does anyone experience severe memory loss with their derealization? I've been suffering from this feeling of unreality, which has become progressively worst with each passing day. Its like the world is slowly disappearing and being replaced with darkness. I'm not sure if this can be really defined as derealization or if it could be brain fog, such as that caused by thyroid dysfunction, which people seem to describe in a very similar manner:
> 
> http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Thyroid-Disorders/Mental-fogginess-altered-state-of-consciousness/show/467998
> 
> But one thing that has been bothering me, even more then the derealization, is the memory loss. All my memories are vague and distant, almost nonexistent. Its like they are slowly fading away. This includes past memories as well as recent ones. I mean, i wake up in the morning, go to work, and by launch time i struggle to remember everything that happened between that time period. I have to struggle to remember what i did yesterday, what movie did i watch, what game i played, whether i went somewhere and so forth, and when it does come back to me its so distant and faint that it feels like its not there at all. I've read a lot posts here and nobody ever mentions memory so i'm not sure if this is truly an effect of the derealization or if it may be caused by something else. I got to the point where i barely even feel anxious anymore since nothing seems to matter, not even the fact that i'm sick, because whatever i try to mull things over in my brain there's nothing to mull over about, since my memory is non-existent. All i feel is darkness, 24 hours a day. Please, let me know if anybody is experiencing something similar.
> 
> BTW, i have no feeling of depersonalization and never had. Is this normal at all?


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## lg0024

We're you diagnoised with DP/DR? I was Diagnoised with DP back in 2003, I was put on alot of medicatiion till 2004 that did not take away the strange feelings that everything was unreal, feelings of watching the world as if it was a movie, feelings of depression or my anxiety attacks all the medication did for me was make me feel worse. at the time in 2003/2004 I did not have access to the internet hence google was out of reach so i could not google everything that was worng with me (which by the way was the best thing to get over any kind of illness since the internet will give you the worst case scenirio of everything and it will make you feel worse) anyways I was driving home from work one day back in 2006 and I was thinking"where did my anxiety/DP/DR go?" I thought i just got used to the feeling and it just changed my preception of the world forever but overall the bad feelings went away!as my anxiety lowerd then..in july of this year i had a mild panic attack at the doctors and out of no where my DP/DR was back and now with access to google i was googleing everyday up till this day why is my DP/DR back. Why cant I remember my daily activities and why is my memory so distant feeling. I feel as if I have a brain tumor or something is serverly wrong with me. I have the same memory problems as you! the day will start then by lunch i cant remember how i even got to lunch and what movie i watched the day before or what did i eat. EX; my mother just called me and asked me how was dinner with my friends but i couldnt even remember telling her i was going to dinner. its a VERY! scary feeling. but thats also how i found your post by googling what was worng with my memory and I want you to knonw you are not alone! and now i knnow im not eaither. if you need to talk let me know . you will be ok and it will go away

Lindsey


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## Opus131

lg0024 said:


> We're you diagnoised with DP/DR? I was Diagnoised with DP back in 2003, I was put on alot of medicatiion till 2004 that did not take away the strange feelings that everything was unreal, feelings of watching the world as if it was a movie, feelings of depression or my anxiety attacks all the medication did for me was make me feel worse. at the time in 2003/2004 I did not have access to the internet hence google was out of reach so i could not google everything that was worng with me (which by the way was the best thing to get over any kind of illness since the internet will give you the worst case scenirio of everything and it will make you feel worse) anyways I was driving home from work one day back in 2006 and I was thinking"where did my anxiety/DP/DR go?" I thought i just got used to the feeling and it just changed my preception of the world forever but overall the bad feelings went away!as my anxiety lowerd then..in july of this year i had a mild panic attack at the doctors and out of no where my DP/DR was back and now with access to google i was googleing everyday up till this day why is my DP/DR back. Why cant I remember my daily activities and why is my memory so distant feeling. I feel as if I have a brain tumor or something is serverly wrong with me. I have the same memory problems as you! the day will start then by lunch i cant remember how i even got to lunch and what movie i watched the day before or what did i eat. EX; my mother just called me and asked me how was dinner with my friends but i couldnt even remember telling her i was going to dinner. its a VERY! scary feeling. but thats also how i found your post by googling what was worng with my memory and I want you to knonw you are not alone! and now i knnow im not eaither. if you need to talk let me know . you will be ok and it will go away
> 
> Lindsey


Heh, now its so bad that sometimes the memory is already "fading away" in the middle of a movie, so that while i'm watching the end remembering the beginning is like trying to probe a distant dream. I didn't thought possible that a psychiatric condition could result in such dramatic symptoms. I'm still not ruling out a thyroid problem or something to that effect, but its comforting to know that this could merely be the result of anxiety, which at least gives me hope my symptoms aren't permanent. For a while i actually thought i was turning into this guy which psyched the hell out of me:






I find the memory loss to be worst then the feeling of unreality because its like having a black cloud in my brain. Its one thing to feel something in a detached, remote way, as opposed to not being able to feel anything at all because everything disappears the moment you turn your attention somewhere else. Its the scariest possible thing imaginable. BTW, do you experience depersonalization at all? I never had that, not once, but it seems like its a more common issue then derealization so i'm wondering if one condition can really exist without the other, and that my symptoms are truly due to something else.


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## lg0024

Opus131 said:


> Heh, now its so bad that sometimes the memory is already "fading away" in the middle of a movie, so that while i'm watching the end remembering the beginning is like trying to probe a distant dream. I didn't thought possible that a psychiatric condition could result in such dramatic symptoms. I'm still not ruling out a thyroid problem or something to that effect, but its comforting to know that this could merely be the result of anxiety, which at least gives me hope my symptoms aren't permanent. For a while i actually thought i was turning into this guy which psyched the hell out of me:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I find the memory loss to be worst then the feeling of unreality because its like having a black cloud in my brain. Its one thing to feel something in a detached, remote way, as opposed to not being able to feel anything at all because everything disappears the moment you turn your attention somewhere else. Its the scariest possible thing imaginable. BTW, do you experience depersonalization at all? I never had that, not once, but it seems like its a more common issue then derealization so i'm wondering if one condition can really exist without the other, and that my symptoms are truly due to something else.


Yes I have DP/DR and I had it in 2004 as well and like i said. it went away and one day it came back and it is the worst feeling in the world. I sit down every night and try yo remember what i did all day since it seems so vague and like it never happened. But it did and if you really think about it you remember everything right? your memeory is not bad and i keep telling myself that too...its just your thinkg about to much that your mind cant keep up so thats why your memories seem distant bc their tring to catch up with you. slow your mind down try not to google to many things and understand you have Dp/DR bc of a high intensity stress levels and high anxiety levels... is there something that you know of that you were stressed about for a long period of time? and NO DP/DR cannnot exist with it being connected with your stress or anxiety when your anxiety/stress levels go down and you stop thinking about this then you will remember things again and one day youll wonder where all the DP/DR went. but endure it when it leaves







you will be ok and I need to take my own advice and stop running to doctors every time I get a chance bc I refuse medicine anyways and my brian scans are perfect as im sure yours will be too let me know if you want to talk more! it helps me talk about it as well


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## Doberg

LOL my memory is horrible! I literally don't remember much of my past, just bits and pieces and I cannot, for the life of me, remember ANY of last semester! I cant believe its possible to forget a whole semester when you went to school weekly for months


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## MiketheAlien

I go through everything you have described. This life in the fog is horrible.


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## phil36

Hi, I was wondering if you are still experiencing these symptoms or if you were able to overcome them. I am currently going through all of this but do not necessarily feel "dissociated from my body"


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## optimist100

hi I know it's been asked but did anyone here managed to recover from those symptoms I have it for some time now (honestly i don't know how long cause my time percption is so messsed up these days) and I talked to some doctors neurologists psychiatrists, and they didn't know what to tell me, once i read what you guys posted I didn't feel alone anymore, ha ha I thought I was going mad and no one belived me. please if anyone has some useful tips or storys to share I'll be happy to hear them. thanks


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