# dont give a fuck



## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I don't give a fuck about DP. I'm going to live my life. I don't fucking care how I feel. I don't give a fuck. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. I don't fucking care how I feel. I don't care how fucking scary this shit gets. I don't give a fuck. I don't fucking care if I see the grim reaper. I don't care if my body parts detach and fly into the fucking sky. I don't give a shit. Big fucking deal. FUCK DP. I don't fucking care. I don't fucking care about this feeling.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2011)

PhoenixDown said:


> I don't give a fuck about DP. I'm going to live my life. I don't fucking care how I feel. I don't give a fuck. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. I don't fucking care how I feel. I don't care how fucking scary this shit gets. I don't give a fuck. I don't fucking care if I see the grim reaper. I don't care if my body parts detach and fly into the fucking sky. I don't give a shit. Big fucking deal. FUCK DP. I don't fucking care. I don't fucking care about this feeling.


a good step. but the best one is to totally feel the symptoms AND go on with your life.

all the best, you WILL get out of this


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I don't fucking care. It'll take 10X fucking more pain to fucking touch me. Who gives a fuck about this shit. I don't fucking care. It doesn't touch me. I am fucking owning this feeling. I am ready for the pain. I want the pain. I am fucking ready for it all. I have no fear anymore. None, I don't care how bad this gets.


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## Reborn (Jun 24, 2011)

My hero lol


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

“people who cannot suffer can never grow up, can never discover who they are. That man who is forced each day to snatch his manhood, his identity, out of the fire of human cruelty that rages to destroy it knows, if he survives his effort, and even if he does not survive it, something about himself and human life that no school on earth-and indeed, no church- can teach. He achieves his own authority, and that is unshakable. That is because, in order to save his life, he is forced to look beneath appearances, to take nothing for granted, to hear the meaning behind words. If one is continually surviving the worst that life can bring, one eventually ceases to be controlled by a fear of what life can bring.”


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2011)

PhoenixDown said:


> *If one is continually surviving the worst that life can bring, one eventually ceases to be controlled by a fear of what life can bring."*


James Baldwin


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

the whole concept of this forum is flawed. There is way too much commiseration, and we all get sucked into it. Yes, I agree we are suffering from the worst shit imaginable. Yes, we must support one another in the hard times - and I expect I will reach lows I have not yet experienced. But why aren't we all sharing stories of pushing through despite the pain. Why are we sharing the fear, developing the fear. Why aren't we sharing something empowering. Why are we afraid of the littlest things? We are in this shit together. We have a shared experience. We need to start having pride in how we live our lives. There is so much courage in facing the world with this condition.

Today I literally felt like shit. I get horrible headaches and I get totally disoriented and fucked up during my day... but whatever, I pushed myself so hard today, I've been doing the things I want. I'm not depressing the people around me. I don't want pity. And guess what, my head literally feels like its been bashed in with a sledge hammer. I feel horrible, but I'm making an effort. I'm doing the best I possibly can. I am exercising all the control I possibly can.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm just gonna vent on this post. I've become really into swearing in response to my condition. I am normally more well-spoken. Anyway.

I feel so fucked up, fuck it. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna smash through this fucked up feeling. Fuck the world. I plan to accomplish all my life goals feeling like this. Fuck DP. I am not letting it take my life. Fuck it. I'm not gonna be a pussy with this. I am not going to be a coward. I'm fucking ready. Fuck this shit. If it really wants to stop me, it will have to progress to the point that it can kill me. I'm ready buttercup*.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

Yaaa, my anxiety has essentially gone down to zero. I literally don't give a fuck about how I feel. Which is awesome, and huge progress. However, it doesn't change the fact I feel like fucking shit. I guess I just need to soldier on longer while not giving a fuck about this. I really don't care. It's an unfortunate set of circumstances, but fuck it. I could be dead.


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## Guest (Jul 9, 2011)

PhoenixDown said:


> I'm just gonna vent on this post. I've become really into swearing in response to my condition. I am normally more well-spoken. Anyway.
> 
> I feel so fucked up, fuck it. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna smash through this fucked up feeling. Fuck the world. I plan to accomplish all my life goals feeling like this. Fuck DP. I am not letting it take my life. Fuck it. I'm not gonna be a pussy with this. I am not going to be a coward. I'm fucking ready. Fuck this shit. If it really wants to stop me, it will have to progress to the point that it can kill me. I'm ready buttercup*.


You'll get out. Not saying to make you feel good, but I see the determination in your posts. It's the willing-to-face-anything mentality that makes people succeed.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

ahhhhhhhhhhhh, i feeeeeeel like my head is tearing apart. Fuck it though. I don't give a fuck. Keep on working. Gotta keep on working. Go go go. Fuck this feeling. It will not bring me down. Fuuucccck.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

ya, my continual updates.

I say fuck this shit. It sucks. But I drank a coffee today and was able to focus and accomplish things like I used to. So I can still fulfill my life goals even though it is a less enjoyable process. I think I will start feeling awful pretty soon, but I can get through that.


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## Soul Seeker (Jun 6, 2011)

Brutal. Good luck to you.


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## Rask (Jun 15, 2011)

You just gave me loads of inspiration!

I'll fuckin join the fight!!

I don't give a fuck anymore


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

fuck, I really feel fucked up right now. I don't know who i am or what I'm doing. I feel like shit. Life is fucking confusing. But guess what, I don't give a fuck. Fuck it. I choose to fight it, to roll with it, to live with it. I am not giving up even remotely. Fuck DP.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I would like to add that I'm going to start taking insane risks with my life. Seriously, there is nothing left to lose anymore. Really, I'm not afraid of anything anymore. My old self is dead. Fuck it. The cards got jumbled, and now I'm playing with a new deck.


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

PhoenixDown said:


> I don't fucking care. It'll take 10X fucking more pain to fucking touch me. Who gives a fuck about this shit. I don't fucking care. It doesn't touch me. I am fucking owning this feeling. I am ready for the pain. I want the pain. I am fucking ready for it all. I have no fear anymore. None, I don't care how bad this gets.


Yeah buddy im proud of ya. Lets fuckin power through this shit


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I need ideas for risks to take. Seriously, DP has killed my fear of everything. I am not afraid of death, not afraid of rejection, not afraid of pain. I am so beyond that shit right now. There is nothing to left for me to lose. May as well build a legacy.


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