# Existential NIGHTMARE



## Lauren318 (Apr 15, 2012)

Hi everyone,
If anyone has any advice I'm DESPERATE. I have never felt so hopeless and desperate in my life. I have been diagnosed with OCD, but I'm not sure how much I agree with that label. I will get straight to the point. I am 27 and since about age 12 I have experienced horrible intrusive thoughts. The obsessions that trouble me the most are of an existential nature I think. I fear that everything I see may not be real and I am all alone in a sort of Matrix. I have wonderful loving parents and I even question their existence. This worry leaves me feeling incredibly lonely and afraid. Im constantly questioning things. I never get a break. Everything seems weird to me and I'm in a never-ending state of panic. These obsessions have left me unable to get through college and work. My life is in shambles. I just need some help. Therapists have been useless. If anyone can relate please add a few words.
Take care,
Lauren


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## Guest (Apr 17, 2012)

I often get those same feelings. You just have to trust that everything is real and take it for granted like everybody else. It has helped alot to try to forget about these questions as much as possible and for me to keep busy.


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## ihatethis (Mar 13, 2012)

I too am really struggling right now. It takes all I have to get through every minute. I honestly don't know how I am doing it, but somehow I am. All I can do is hope it eases enough to be bearable so I can even begin to feel like I might recover.


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## Macky (Mar 22, 2012)

Lauren318 said:


> Hi everyone,
> If anyone has any advice I'm DESPERATE. I have never felt so hopeless and desperate in my life. I have been diagnosed with OCD, but I'm not sure how much I agree with that label. I will get straight to the point. I am 27 and since about age 12 I have experienced horrible intrusive thoughts. The obsessions that trouble me the most are of an existential nature I think. I fear that everything I see may not be real and I am all alone in a sort of Matrix. I have wonderful loving parents and I even question their existence. This worry leaves me feeling incredibly lonely and afraid. Im constantly questioning things. I never get a break. Everything seems weird to me and I'm in a never-ending state of panic. These obsessions have left me unable to get through college and work. My life is in shambles. I just need some help. Therapists have been useless. If anyone can relate please add a few words.
> Take care,
> Lauren


Hi, I can definitely relate to the philosophical/existential rumination. The thing I keep reminding myself, which helps me, is that I didn't create my own existence. Certain things just are, and we had nothing to do with it. There are so many things we are not in control of - like our body/brain. You need to surrender to the unknown and realize that there are some things we'll never know, or you'll drive yourself mad. What you're talking about with the "I feel I'm the only one alive" is called solipsism. If you read philosophy there are a lot of refutations to solipsism.

Why do you doubt the existence of the external world and your parents, but you don't doubt the existence of your mind which is questioning these things? Check out Rene Descartes.


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## mcb (Apr 1, 2012)

Macky said:


> Why do you doubt the existence of the external world and your parents, but you don't doubt the existence of your mind which is questioning these things? Check out Rene Descartes.


Cogito Ergo Sum


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

hey lauren... wow this is me too! i have been like this on and off for two years with my anxiety disorder... i feel like life isnt real.. and i am trapped in it. i feel like i am not me and i am also afraid to be me.. i feel like i have just arrived on the planet but i dunno from where... i feel like my parents are also here for no reason and we are all jsut floating around till we die.. i dunno how i am concious n how i know how to do things... how is this life real and why is it the way it is.. male /female, bodies, organs , death animals etc.. sooo weird.. ! this is wat i am plagued with at the moment..i cry alot and i feel like im 5 again and theres no way out... hope this shows u u are not alone.. if u have more to talk about and want me to relate lemme know. xx


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## Existential (Apr 28, 2012)

I have experienced the same things you are. You might consider finding a psychologist who specializes in depersonalization. I have found that ACT therapy works well.


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## Existential (Apr 28, 2012)

Mcb said:


> Cogito Ergo Sum


I have come to see that thinking about DP makes it worse. Have you read the excellent book:

Overcoming Depersonalization Disorder: A Mindfulness and Acceptance Guide to Conquering Feelings of Numbness and Unreality by Fugen Neziroglu, Katharine Donnelly and Daphne Simeon (Paperback - Jun 3, 2010)


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