# I am breakting through. (long story)



## BrerRyan (Dec 3, 2008)

One bad trip of marijuana sent me into a state of paranoia, fear, and feeling high constantly. What i did not know was that this was Dp/Dr. i thought i had Schizophrenia, Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, and HPPD. I was not thinking rationally and let my fear get the best of me. i noticed that in a few days i found about DP/DR and i was dead on with the symptoms listed. i know several people who had this from marijuana. my own cousin, and two buddies. they all recovered. My cousin said he can remember lights getting brigher, objects appearing to get bigger/smaller, and the breathing objects. he said it felt like he was in a dream, or on a small LSD trip. his was triggered by a laced marijuana trip. So im just mentioning his story because visual distortions are normal with this DP/DR. He said what cured him was moving on, and exercising a lot at night. My other two friends well one, after a few months started smoking weed again, and is pretty useless now. the other one said his lasted a few months, he actually enjoyed it. Bottom line, this is curable my friends.

And to the people out here saying that only pot induced DP is curable, not chronic, my mom had this when she was my age too. my mom never took drugs, but was a what if thinker and had anxiety, and a rough upbringing. My grandma and i talked about it, she said she would remember my mom complaining that she felt as if she was dreaming, in a fog, and not there anymore. she said it passed by going on life. If my mom, the most unstable women in the world can pass this, anyone can. REally, she has the worst disposition when it comes to worrying, she wont even drive on the freeway, but she overcame this crap. so you can too.

Well anyways the first week i had DP after my bad trip, i was in pure terror, crying like a baby, i am 18 years old too, so that take a lot to make a strong young man to cry. i thought i was messed up permanently. Funny thing is that before pot, i tried salvia 10x once, and it wasnt strong or anything, but nothing happened. fast forward a couple months later and im doing pot for a couple of times for three months and the last trip just screwed me up. over time i accepted the DP/DR just rolling along, but i learned about HPPD. So i go and research HPPD and think i have it, freaking me out, almost to the point of a nervous breakdown...
Well when i got my senses together i realized this. After images and light sensitivity are also in anxiety and DR. if i really had HPPD i would not question it, i would know for sure.

Basically my DP/DR was like this
+feeling automatic
+2d vision
+loss of location
+somethings objects would appear to breathe, only walls really.
+colors became more intense
+sensitivity to light
+vertigo like dizzy sensations
+day dreams were much more lucid and full...like i could kinda see them i guess?
With some of these visual symptoms it does sound like HPPD right? but its not. So please dont make the mistake i did and search for new symptoms. it does no good. You only have DR/DP. this is from anxiety, stress, or depression.

But yea, every now and then i feel normal and fine, its happening more frequently too. i am breaking through. i just learned to accept it and kept it mind all my paranoia, terror inducing thoughts were from being scared. nothing more nothing less. if i tell myself to snap out the very second i get nervous it helps. Every now and then i have a major setback, but i can recovery even stronger. with time and good management its easier to control this.

Today, i had a little Derealization episode at the bank..it scared me, but i just kept moving along and it went away within a half hour.

"DP/DR tells you two things 1) you are not on the right track (some call it destiny, some call it being yourself) and 2) that you are scared to move in the right direction. Choose your path and go on."
some user posted this, and whoever posted this is a genius and has my respect. everyone really listen to this.

So its very hard. very very hard people. but its doable. move on and remember your goals and even if you feel like a robot or see crap breathe, go along! it will lose its power, and die lol.


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## bums (Dec 22, 2008)

Cool man, I've only had it for a few days but your story is helping me cos I am shit scared.
I think the most important thing is not being scared and anxious about it cos that makes it so much worse.


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