# Another newbie :)



## salva_mea (Aug 26, 2007)

I was sitting for about half an hour in front of the screen wondering what to say. I used to have a little anxiety, but something made it worse.

It's been a steady build up to this point. Moments where i'd completely forget who I was, have to say what I'm thinking aloud so I wouldn't lose them in the fuzzy dream that was my life. Confused as to why people weren't singing after I'd been listening to music and missing someone who had died in a book I read.

It came to a point the other day when I had a full-on attack. It felt like my thoughts were being erased and I was quickly going crazy. I only realised then that I'd been living on borrowed thoughts and ideas. I was so terrified, I couldn't move, I'd forgotten how to walk. My thoughts were being stolen and I was convinced that I was dissolving, dying.

All I could think was 'I need my mind' over and over until it, like me, became meaningless.

Sorry to pull the dramatic card on my first day, but I've never been able to talk about this before. With anyone. Thank you.


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## FightingDepression (Aug 23, 2007)

Hey Salva and welcome! 
(Welcoming here is kinda funny, no one REALLY wants to be in the condition..)

How did it start to you? suddenly? woke up with it? or..

Do you have physical symptoms too?

Other than that, wish you good luck!
Try to focus on something that made you feel good, like an achievement you always wished for and convince yourself you're going to do it without doubt.
It might help you abit to lose the dream-like thing.


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## salva_mea (Aug 26, 2007)

Thanks for the welcome.

It sort of feels like it's always been there, the episode I had was kind of a confirmation of it. I did always have moments where I'd forget who I was, and I always feel like I'm doing something that someone told me to do... but I always forget halfway through.

To be honest I didn't notice my physical symptoms until my doctor asked me if I had them, my main focus was what was wrong with my head. I never realised that being always tired, muscle twitches/weakness and no sex drive (even though I'm 19) wasn't actually normal. I also have problems with my heart, tummy and skin (sudden hives, itchiness etc), but I'm not sure if it's the connected.

Thanks for your kind words. May I ask the story behind yours?


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## ohelp (May 22, 2007)

hey there,
while reading your story i immediately connected to you, looking forward to hear more from you.


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