# New Here..Please dont bash me..



## MSM (Jul 12, 2006)

ok first off I just want to say please dont judge me for my actions. I am very happy I found a site like this and I want help, I do NOT want people to ruin it for me and bash me for things I have done.

Ok here it goes....My name is Matt. I am a senior in highschool. I have always been interested in the human mind and reality as a whole. My grandmas cousing was Timothy Leary, so Im related to the guy. I have had an interest in drugs and have found their effects very very interesting. I have experimented with some drugs i.e. DXM, Marijuana, 2C-E, but I am by no means a druggy or heavy drug user. I anything Im a light user / experimentalist. Drugs have never interfered with my life until now.

I have always loved marijuana, Ive been using it for about a year. At the beginning of summer I put in an amount of marijuana into my vaporizer to get me pretty damn stoned. Afer that, I out the same amount in. I got really stoned x2. I had entered into unknown territory, which was a very bad idea, for I then experienced what I think was a Panic attack...

before I explain please just let me tell you that I was never exactly a heavy pot user. I hade done it every friday, then maybe every 3 days, then everyday for the first days before and after the beginning of summer, which was about 5 days or so. Nothing Heavy

This episode consisted of me thinking that the world is fake, probably computer created of just a dream, and that I was a robot being controlled by some other being. I felt like I coudltn swallow and things were very lucid. Needless to say, it was a horroble experience. I toom a break for a little more than three weeks. During that time I felt what I think is called dearealization and depersonalization. The First week after the episode was the worst, everything seemed meaningless, life seemed a dream. the second week was better, a lot more managable, but definately still not feeling "all there". The third week I felt good more often than I did bad, but again still not all there. During that time I seemed to make steady progress. I began to excercise, take more vitamins, eat better (fruits for snacks and not junk does wonders), I listened to mellow and calm music, and that seemed to work. NO DRUGS during that time. No weed, psychedellics, stimulants. NOTHING.

I had not had a panic attack, or so i think, before hand. I am a general paranoid guy. Im always thinking I have something wrong with me. I cant tell you how many times Ive thought ive had vcancer or some mental problem. For the majority of my Junior year I was depressed over a girl. That is done. We are no longer ever just friends, and I feel better, but im not talking about this in depth.

Anyways...last saturday I decided to give weed another try. I successfully had a good time by constantly reminding me that life is real and that everything is going to be ok. It worked. It was bliss.

But eventhought It was great, It raised my general anxiety. I was much more calm the following days but the anxiety and derealization was up a very small amount, not a lot, but JUST enough to make me see a change.

Which brings us up to date. this has not been a totally bad experience. It did bring up some very interesting ideas and feelings that were actually beneficial to me and Im thankful for these new ideas.

I guess I have some questions. these are mainly for the pot heads / ex pot heads out there but ANYONE can answer and please do.

Questions:

How long is this going to last?

what are the best ways to get rid of this?

how can I prevent it?

can I continue to use marijuana?

should I cut back, and use it in moderation or just completely stop altogether?

If it means peace of mind and mental health I will, but sadly, stop using altogheher, But im hoping I can defeat this thing and still get high.

For those or you who have read this far, THANK YOU SO MUCH! for those of you who choose to respond THANK YOU EVEN MORE. Help with this issue or mine means an incredible amount to me. Thank you all in advance!


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## MSM (Jul 12, 2006)

I would also like to add that I do NOT want to take any drugs for this anxiety. I want to do it naturally i.e. excercise, sleeping right, eating right, etc.


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## strigoi (Jun 27, 2006)

Well if you want to get rid of anxiety the 'right' way then your going to have to cut out grass all together. I use to be able to smoke all day and feel chill, then after a bad acid trip I can't hardly be around weed smoke without getting anxious, I don't know why it is, it just is. This was a month - 2 ago when I last tried weed (and have a DR/DP attack) so I don't know if it will ever go away. I've just learned to go without it because trust me feeling 'normal' is much better than DP.

If your DP feelings are so bad they keep you from everyday activies like work/school or you can't keep from thinking the same thing over and over you should talk to your doctor. I know you said you didn't want to take meds to help out your anxiety, but I was prescribed klonopin and I found it put my body at ease so I could take time and work on "me" issues. I took 2mg a day and I'm down to 1 now, I'm thinking of stopping soon and just keeping them around in case I would feel an attack coming on, but I'm going to talk to my doc before doing this.

but whatever you do stay away from the pot! That alone has caused many people on here to be DP


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## MSM (Jul 12, 2006)

what is this I hear about people doing what they feel anxious about and doing what caused their anxiety i.e. smokin' pot and being cure of DR and DP?


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Your related to tim leary that is so cool.

Anyway im a former pot head myself so maybe i can help you out. I used to smoke the stuff for breakfast. I never really had any negative reactions to this or any other drug(excluding alcohol and cocaine).

Id say your reaction to this had very little to do with the drug itself its just the panic attack you had on it. I used pot for about 10 years and i had to stop because it started to make my social phobia worse. It actually helped with my dp/dr and general anxiety though.

Id say since the last time you smoked it it raised you level of anxiety you should lay off it for awile. It will probley only keep getting worse every time you smoke it. This doesent mean you cant smoke it in the future just stay off it until you come back to normal. A break from pot every now and then is a good idea anyway.


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