# Watching my life makes me feel like..



## Johqnnq (Mar 14, 2018)

I have to kill myself.
I fear living now. I fear myself. And i feel i cant go on. 
It has been just hell for so long now. 
I cant be alone. But i cant be with others too. Too many times this same has happend. And im not able to get myself back to this life anymore. Too many times i have failed. Now is summer and i cannot stand it. Nothing brings me relief. When i think how much i miss everything. And what worse can still happen.and how this never gonna change. But i cannot stop obsessing and thinking and fearing because then i feel i lose control. Or something. But i dont know how to be at present. And its just terrible suffer 24/7.


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## mmdpri (Mar 24, 2018)

"Nothing can lock you in Except your thoughts ,nothing can limit you Except your fears, nothing can control you Except your believes"
I am Not perfect in English but u get my point 
Put some music on and dance with it and never think about past or future

Frodo: "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."

Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
(Lord of the rings)


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## Johqnnq (Mar 14, 2018)

Now i just feel i have started refuse change. And just all day long thiniing again this happens... Cant be rreal


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## solus (Mar 20, 2018)

> And what worse can still happen.and how this never gonna change.


Your mind had the power to create this hell out of fear.

It can equally create a place of joy. Your capacity for suffering is equal to your capacity for joy.

Can you imagine what is possible when your courage, hope, faith, and love conquer your fear?

Great darkness is preparation for great light.



> But i cannot stop obsessing and thinking and fearing because then i feel i lose control.


It's not your responsibility to stop the thoughts.

Accept them. They're just something that's happening to you.

Before long, you will stop feeling emotions about these thoughts. Then you will come back to life.

You need other people in your life. Nobody can fully recover from dp/dr without a connection to another person. Fundamentally, we are social beings.



Johqnnq said:


> I have to kill myself.
> I fear living now. I fear myself. And i feel i cant go on.
> It has been just hell for so long now.
> I cant be alone. But i cant be with others too. Too many times this same has happend. And im not able to get myself back to this life anymore. Too many times i have failed. Now is summer and i cannot stand it. Nothing brings me relief. When i think how much i miss everything. And what worse can still happen.and how this never gonna change. But i cannot stop obsessing and thinking and fearing because then i feel i lose control. Or something. But i dont know how to be at present. And its just terrible suffer 24/7.


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## nicewon (Aug 10, 2017)

hang in there john, im feeling the same way too..


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## TalonW (Jun 4, 2018)

I feel the same way daily, but we have to have hope. This page has made me feel less alone then I ever have in my entire life, knowing I’m not the only one removed, it’s an amazing feeling.


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## Johqnnq (Mar 14, 2018)

Yes .... It is terrible.. I have just forgotten everything again...like im in bottomless bottom. It feels so bad. I dont know what is wrong whit me anymore.


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