# Afflicted also in sleep.



## Phoenecian (Oct 26, 2014)

*Copied over from my blog, because I am lazy*

My first blog entry to ever be written, as the name suggests I'm afflicted by the dp in my dreams to the same level as my woken self, I've been reasonably unwell for coming up to 5 years, my dp started with some rather extreme vertigo and related events that I left unchecked for quite some time, I still remember the day that I felt my perception snap, like there had been a complete and permanent loss of self and my conceptualization of being human had been replaced with melding into the environment.

All of my emotions have been replaced by nothing but anxiety and extreme confusion, and very frequently intrusive thoughts about buildings and rather expansive places, but they are twisted in all sorts of odd and impossible dimensions, as the title suggests sleep is no sanctuary, I dream about the exact same things I feel and see in my thoughts and day to day life and even the most mundane and general thought feels like some great hidden secret that I have to uncover lest I lose my mind, I also suffer from these horrible panic attacks that tend to occur the very moment I fall asleep, for around 10 seconds I feel like my mind is being extracted through my skull with some crude device while I attempt to go from sleeping to being awake, and my heart races and head throbs for about 25 minutes.

Not sure what I'm creating a blog entry for, desperation is a curious thing. My cognitive retention of information makes 0 difference to my feelings of extreme sanity loss.

TLDR: Extreme loss of self even in dreams, odd intrusive thoughts obsessing over large architecture and expansive places, explosive anxiety in sleep, mind gone.


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