# i am really scared and going insane help please



## junfan (Apr 12, 2008)

I have been depressed for a about2 years on and off, but at christmas I felt less confident, then i felt like i was scared of being me like i was losing my self image, confidence, self suffient etc.
I went for a drink to make me feel better but since then I have been really going down hill, and in the last 2 months ive got really bad.

Today I was watching a music channel and i was like ultra analysising the person like , really wierd and that. like thinking just wierd thoughts, but its always about other people!!

I dont know if I am suffering dp and other things?? I get shit scared these are my symptoms, listed beelow. iam just shit scared i have a desease? or insane. I just want ot be me and normal again.

I dont feel me
Agitated
I feel on planet mars
Tensed up
Depressed
crying sometimes
cold
fell like iam on a different planet
feel like i need to get back on earth and feel me
dont feel me in the mirror
nervous around others
feel like a sheep wereever i go 
glad to get home as i feel more secure, but not really as i start feeling weird again
I keep analysing other like they and me are robots.
I very low self esteem, confidence, scared, i have no job, no money etc
Suicidal feeling in my gut, and minor thoughts.
It all seems like a real self thing, its got nothing to do with no one else what iam feeling, just me.
I am scared
i get scared at night when its dark, i feel inclosed etc
I dont feel me, so i have to remind myself that yes i was born in so so and so, etc etc
I just dont feel me, 
Sometimes i look at the internet at kung fu and like 5 minites later id actually forgotton that i had all these symptoms

I shitting myself right typing this, I worried that I have a ilness or something, I was so concern i just borrow ?400 pound to have a well man check up. thyroid perfect, bllood perfect, glucose level perfect. the lady doctor who was lovely said i had unremarkable physical fitness and my cholestorol was 3.9. but what if i have a brain problem?? they dont check that? 
I eat good
i drink green tea.
but this problem is getting out of hand, today I had a moment were i just wanted to run for my life, becuse i had butterflies about my self person, me type stuff i shit myslef

Pleas can anyone help me advice. best regards


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## Cathal_08 (Apr 7, 2008)

dont worry man...it could be some really bad anxiety thing...i knw ur probly thinkin your goin insane, but seriously your not!
try doing some type of meditation or relaxation tape, and see if that helps at all. if you want any help just contact me.


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## junfan (Apr 12, 2008)

Thanks FOR YOUR SUPPORT dude, Does this sound like depersonaliztion or derealization?

Sometimes its really bad, but then I do get days were it calms down, its wierd.

I am from south east london, england, I dont take drugs at all, i did a bit when i was 18 but stay away from them.
I try to run 5 times a week, and weights at home to improve my self thing.
I am not working at the moment which is making life hell, i cant see anything at all, it all seem very dark and grey. really depressing type feeling. just really dark.
That why i feel worse at night, when its dark its like i go worse.
mornings are worse, when i get up i feel terrible, like i dont feel me, iam not saying that i feel like someone else, just want to be me again and happy outgoing.
If i ever get over this I am going to make my life the the best it can be.
I have had bad time in jobs never really found the right one, always comparing my delf to someone, its like never ending.
I want to be a physiotherapist, I HOPE THAT EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE GETS BETTER AND LIFES IS THE BEST FOR THEM,


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## power (Apr 20, 2008)

*Hi my nameis Dawn and I live in Melbourne Australia.

I really feel for you because I have expereinced the same things you talk about but this has been a lifetime thing for me.

I have tried many things to get better and get on with my life but kept falling into this dark hole but no one has been able to cure me. They have touched on many surfaces and I have grwon in many ways but still this dark place existed

Until 2 years ago I came across a homeopath and finally after many remedies I feel we have found the core remedy for the core problem.
The remedy is called Hydorgen.

may sound strange but if you know anything about chemistry (which I dont') Hydrogen stands on its on apart from the periodical table.

Which is exaxtly how I felt.

There are web sites to look up on Homeopathic Hydrogen to read and if you relate I suggest you find a constitutional homeopath to help you.

Hope this helps because for the first time in this lifetime I feel together, strong and sane.

Good luck

Love and light

Dawn

This took me on a healing journey into alternative medicne b*


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## Strange_Visitor (Apr 18, 2008)

junfan

I'm not a Doctor but your symptoms seems very familiar to me.

My laymans diagnosis would be depression and anxiety (with depersonalisation).

I would never _tell _people to use medication, but please, see your Doc, and discuss your situation with him and see what he recommends. Tell him you're depressed and anxious. You don't have to approach the DP symptom if you feel uncomfortable about that. The depression and anxiety _can_ cause that. If you treat those ailments the DP may diminish. It certainly did for me.

I still take anti-depressants to this day, but I've had periods in the past where I've not needed them.

When I had a "breakdown" (in 1993) my situation was almost exactly like yours. The DP and wierd thoughts were especially scary. I felt I was nothing in a universe of nothing :shock:

You aren't going crazy, but you need to seek treatment to get better. Once your dark thoughts and moods are lifted to a manageable level, things fall into perspective.

I'm 42 and have 30 years of experience of anxiety (varies in intensity) DP (rarely, but with bad anxiety episodes) DR (constant for 30 years, but I've accepted it) and depression (on and off for 3 years in the 90's but not since)

These sort of resources and support (such as this board) weren't around when I needed help in the late 70's onwards.

You're not alone, I've been there and come out the other side (I can live with my present levels of anxiety and DR).

The proof that your symptoms are emotional and mental rather than organic (IMO) is in the fact you say you can forget your symptoms when your actively engaged in something that distracts you.

I hope you start to feel better soon.


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## dreamrock (Jun 19, 2008)

Hey

I know exactly what your talking about, all these weird thoughts and distance etc. I think I've been through everything anxiety has to offer. All I gotta say is dont smoke pot (I know you don't), don't be a sucker for your 'condition' (don't make things hard for yourself), just know it will pass - sometimes its just a phase.

I go through endless rollercoaster rides of "weirdness" everyday and I find a good sleep reboosts me to feeling normal again. I get anxious and then I lose myself, and then I get confused and a fit fearful, and then I think that I think weirdly but deep down I know I'm normal, and I lose myself - become depersonalised like I'm floating above my own body, watching my own actions and thought processes - amazed at how I am in control of my body at all. After a while it settles and I come back to myself. I can tell this thing your explaining (probably depersonalisation) is getting you down and you may be losing confidence in yourself and 'self identity', just dont let this happen - I did once upon a time and I'm it was the most horrible times of my lfe - I literally didnt know who I was and felt awkard, like I couldn't live up to my own reputation, whatever the hell that was (so I was afraid of being myself - even around my family at christmas time). What has dramatically improved my life has been, belive it or not, 'flower essences'. If you see a natural therapist they will know about it. They come in bottles preserved in brandy and each flower has a function, whether it be confidence - or the one I take is called Cowkicks which is supposed to revive someone from a bad experience affecting ones life. For anyone else who is reading this, check them out because they work wonders, I feel myself again (I don't think it takes away depersonalisation but it reassures you of who you are and you are unafraid to 'venture out' and experience things). When I took these I slowly and gradually watched my life return to me and only then in heinsight did I realise how bad a condition I was in - no-one should have to exprience it, ever!!

Anyway, you'll be fine - don't bury yourself. thanks for posting its good to know there's people like you out there


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## hurricane12 (May 22, 2008)

junfan you are not alone i know exactly everything you are going through me and you are experiencing almost the exact samething with the exact symptoms. especially the feeling of fear at night and that dreadful feeling when you wake up. 
i could relate to everything youve said i wish i can help you and i wish i can help myself. i wish by me typing i can heal everybody in the world with dp but i cant. i really hope u are getting better how did u get dp/dr? and did you find anything that helps you cope yet? have u been to any doctors? keep us updated but know there are others out there with the samething that helps alot just knowing that you are not the only one in the world going through this.


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