# depersonalization sufferer for half my life without a break



## Guest (Jun 16, 2005)

Hello All!
I am new to this forum and chat! I began my life with anxiety at age 5 when my parents separated. I had abandonment issues/separation anxiety. I had my first full blown panic attack in fourth grade. Throughout college I had several a day..I have generalized anxiety disorder (severe), slight OCD, panic disorder with agoraphobia (did not leave my house for 2 years and was in bed due to chronic illnesses then when I tried to leave the house I could not), and depersonalization disorder.

I have several chronic illnesses and have been disabled 2 years out of college. My depersonalization has been going on for over half my life without a break at all, its there 24/7..Sometimes I cannot feel myself walking, I get to a store and don't feel as if I am there, I cannot feel myself holding things, I feel in a dream like state, or as if I am an actor in my daily life. I feel like I am out of my body and cannot reattach.

It is making my real chronic illnesses and diseases worse and I do not know what to do. I am taking Xanax for my anxiety, and have just started seeing a CBT doctor. I go for my second visit soon and even did an attacking anxiety home program but still no relief or one minute break.

Are there any of you out there that have this daily for years? How do you cope? Is this normal for what I am feeling? I am so scared and so hopeless! I have to learn to make it work for me and turn it into positive becuase if I get too freaked out I won't leave the house again and I don't want to be agoraphobic forever because of this! I have not even driven in 3 years but I am most scared of making my physical illnesses worse if I don't find relief or help soon!

I look forward to getting to knowing all of you and learning some helpful skills!!


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## Guest (Jun 16, 2005)

I know exactly how you feel. I began my dp experience early in life too...It was quite a scary and surreal experience for me throughout most of my life.

I had a post just before this one about how I started to deal with it...If you're afraid of being "not here," its only going to increase your panic attacks.

If you have any questions or anything, please email me at [email protected]. Take care!

-Jon


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## Guest (Jun 19, 2005)

Hopenfaith2005, first of all: I am sorry for the suffer and pain you are in to. For me, I am pretty new to this but can relate much to what you descibe...(for me it is only just since 4 years I am having this.) All I can say is thank you for sharing. I sure hope that help will come soon for you!

Joy


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## Guest (Jun 25, 2005)

hopeandfaith,
seems like your DP is anxiety based.
May be a try to Linden method could be of help. Honestly it is quite good with anxiety problems. Unfotunately for me is not only a matter of anxiety so it didn't help 100% , but still it was good

good luck
picikka


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2005)

Thank you all for your replies! I have not tried the linden method..I did order a program called attacking anxiety but did not seem to help 100 percent so am now doing CBT therapy. I don't know how any one copes? it's so frightening to get somewhere and not feel there or to just wake up and feel that way all day everyday. I am wondering if its part anxiety and part of my fibromyalgia cognitive issues and that I will just have to learn to live with it.


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