# Recovered!!!



## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

I always said I would come back if I ever recovered, to be honest I completely forgot about this whole website until I just remembered it and thought I would come back and write a short story of how I got out of this terrible thing. Brief overlay. I was living quiet a busy/ excessive lifestyle I was working hard exercising hard and also partying hard I believe this is what lead me to these new disturbing symptoms which consumed my every minute for the following 3 or so years. I can still remember the day it happened I was at work and I would be cutting some timber and I kept forgetting where it was going on the job instantly the panic came and so did all these crazy symptoms everything around me looked fake as if I was in a dream and I became numb to everyone and every feeling in my body. That was the beginning of a terrible 3 year battle, where constant googling became my everyday/ minute habit I would constantly google my symptoms initially I though I was dying of cancer spent all my time at the Drs getting every test done, clearly nothing came back every time but I didn't believe the Drs and went to the next one. After many trips to different Drs with no health issues it turned to being "mentally ill" I then became so afraid of developing a serious mental illness and due to my constant googling I learned so much about "mentally ill" peoples symptoms that I began to try and convince myself I was having the same symptoms/ thoughts. Although my psychologists would tell me I was fine with 40 years of experience I could not believe her and would continue to google and fall deeper into a hole. I would be on this site every single day looking for people with my exact symptoms who had recovered ( but mine were always worse than everyone else's ????) Constant panic and questioning every thing on this planet just had me on high alert all the time. As you do in that state you start to pull away from things you love, exercise, hanging with friends, going on dates anything that I loved previous I began to avoid incase ppl would catch on that I was 'going crazy'. I could go on for a long time all the things I did wrong and what continued to keep me in this state but it will be to long to read. So what I did to recover or start to recover was got off all this kind of forum stuff and googling I made a promise to myself that I would stop googling and looking up this website at the start it was hard but as time went on it got easier, I made myself go to any social event I was invited to and made a conscious effort making plans with friends to give me something to look forward to during the week. With regard to the crazy thoughts and phobia of becoming 'crazy' or completely mentally ill I just gradually changed my mindset to thinking if it happens it Happens worrying about it isn't going to prevent it from happening nor has all this thinking gimme out of this situation And honestly I just got on with life and slowly and I mean very very slowly I started getting some joy back with things I was doing again. To think you will never have anxiety again in life isn't what you should be aiming for it's a common part of life everyone goes through it but different people deal with it differently people with dp/dr tend to have a very similar personality trait, we are controlling hence the reason when we have these symptoms we can't control it causes us so much grief and confusion because we can't just think our way out of it. I studied the mind so much I thought I knew more than my psychologist (maybe I do ????) but even with all that knowledge I still couldn't just snap myself out of it it takes time and when I say time I mean give it as much time as it needs your body is amazing machine and can recover from so many things INCLUDING DP!! so get on with it enjoy your life again with all these symptoms bring them with you I promise it will get better I honestly haven't thought about my anxiety in so long and I don't! if I feel I'm getting slightly stressed with work or life I take a step back and just take a few days to give myself a break whether it's making sure I'm having enough sleep, or spending a few days doing things I really enjoy and emerse myself in those hobbies.
Some of my symptoms 
. Everything felt fake/ looked fake 
.eye floaters and vis snow 
.extensial thinking!! 
.fear of going crazy!!! 
.odd bizzare thoughts 
Honestly had so so so many more I can't even remember most of them now! ( feels so strange saying that as I spent so much time wrapt up with the constant worry and googling of my symptoms) 
I'm truly so happy with life right now in a sense I'm glad I went through it because I have come out so much stronger and really appreciate how good it is to feel good and happy again! Please get off this page and all other forums keeping your mind focused on this situation you are in and live In the moment your in currently not tomorrow or the day after or next week. Try and focus and where your at now. I will try and answer some questions I'm from Australia and if anyone is from Australia would be happy to get in contact to help out as much as I can I know how much speaking to someone with dp would have helped me just knowing what your going through is re assuring! Also it's late here hopefully it's not to much jumble it's dragged on longer than I thought if think of other things I will add to this thread. I will try and check back in but as I honestly forget about it I may not remember until I'm checking my emails. I was a worst case scenario and I thought there was no hope for me and I couldn't possibly ever get over this I had it worse than any one else on this page did. But here I am completely happy with my life even more than before this so believe me it's possible to get your happiness back and you all will!


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

A few other things. Eat healthy foods stay away from high sugar foods, plenty of veggies and get some regular exercise, when your eating clean and training it's hard to not feel good about yourself I also cut out coffee ( drinking it again now) any thing that will stimulate your mind to much try and relax your body whenever you can if your tired have a nap. Put 10 minutes aside each day to just do nothing but just be with yourself and let your thoughts go wild without trying to control them or change them, give your mind the rest it needs. Just live a healthy lifestyle that, I never did find that instant cure as much as I looked I just chose to clean my lifestyle and wanted to be as healthy as I could and the rest followed. I did it without medication if anyone wants to know I tried all the vitamins and supplements possible nothing did really help you can get all you need from eating healthy foods so try that before anything else


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## Ahungerf (Apr 26, 2018)

Awesome! And thank you for your story!! Youbsaid you had visual snow and floaters. Did u also have light sensitivity? Did the sky seem too bright or ever look fake to you? Really sunny days cause the fake dreamworld feeling. I feel that most my symptoms have gone away except for the light sensitivity which causes the dreamlike feelings. Was your visual snow and floaters last of your symptoms to leave? I get terrible eye floaters as well
.. did you notice this get better or just forgot about it? Thanks!!


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

Hi there yes I had a terrible case of visual snow and floaters sunny days were the worst I dreaded going outside or to the beach because I knew I would struggle to enjoy it. To be completely honest on a sunny day if I look into the sky I can still see the floaters but I believe I always did I just didn't notice it before when your in a hypersensitive state everything is 10x worse! I no longer go out of my way to look for it. Since I have begun feeeling better I have asked my friends if they see them when they look into the sky, every single one of them sees floaters and some visual now and they all begin to panic for 5 minutes until they forget all about it ???? Yes Visual were the last things for me to let go of for sure. Only because I chose to accept it's my situation it's not going to harm me things just seem a little different at the moment. Gradually days would go by and I wouldn't even think about i or be looking to see if it was still there


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

And yes everything seemed extremely fake the sky the trees absolutely everything hence what caused the existential thinking, all gets better I promise


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## DerealizedDutchie (Oct 26, 2018)

JWD, thanks for your story mate. Glad to hear that you're recovered. I'm finding myself in some sort of purgatory right now, because i'm not anxious of DR anymore and i dont get angry about it anymore like i did at first.. But i feel so numb and it just wont pass.. some days i feel very hopeless because i cant enjoy activities like i used to do.

I try to exercise as much as possible, but the worst right now for me is that the environment looks so incredibly surreal.. If i'm walking in the forrest it really feels like a bad trip, because the trees look so fake and dreamlike..

How do you feel right now when walking in nature? is everything back to ''normal'' ?


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Thank you for coming back to post it definitely gives me hope that I can get over this , I'm at a point that is all doom about it never going .
Ive also had this 3 years , seriously cant believe I've had it so long ..
I'll keep pushing on


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

And I'm also in Australia


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

Yes I would hate being In just nature surroundings I would look at everything and had no connection to it, everything looks flat and 2d yes now I appreciate everything so much more I love running through natural surroundings and just listening to all the sounds and smells something I never did before I went through it took everything for granted previously! Give it as much time as needed but not your attention slowly very very slowly it will all become real again and you won't even think about the time you used to feel this way.


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

Allison time flys In dp every year I would say there is no way I can go through this for another year and the years flew by, until I gave in and just let it all be there without fighting it did anything begin to change! If thinking your way out of this was the cure we would have all been cured In the first month. If you do feel the need to come back to this site just read 1 recovery story that gives you hope and then don't come back for a few days. Feel free to msg me if you would like to get in contact would be happy to have a chat with you we are on the same time so will be easy to communicate. Just try and enjoy your day and take the dp with you almost like an annoying temporary cold it's there it's annoying but it will eventually go the more time you give it the longer those flu symptoms stick around.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Thanks so much I'm going to take your advice sometimes I'm my worst enemy by being stuck here all the time ..
Good advice I need to change if I want this to change ????????????????


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

Odd buzzard thoughts?


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

Sorry was meant to say bizzare thoughts, I wrote this story late at night with a whole bunch of bad grammar and spelling mistakes haha


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

Sorry it was meant to say bizzare thoughts I wrote this late at night with lots of bad grammar and spelling mistakes haha


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

Jwd12 said:


> Sorry it was meant to say bizzare thoughts I wrote this late at night with lots of bad grammar and spelling mistakes haha


Haha, ok. I thought maybe I wasn't up to speed on the lingo the kids are using these days.


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## Ahungerf (Apr 26, 2018)

Thanks for your help! The floaters stuck but the sky itself is so damn bright which creates a dreamlike fake sensation... even any change of light... being in a dark room with a window that's bright outside will give a feeling that the world outside that window is artificial... cant connect to it? You experience that? I'll stop trying to match symptoms but what would be your advice for the visual issues? Did you just ignore the sensitivity to light? Yeah sure the sky seems fake but dont give a shit type of attitude? Or try to beget busy as possible with life? What's your advice on gerring past what I feel could be the last hurdle. I do still feel slightly disconected overall... just never really grounded in my environment.. did you always notice your symptoms even as you improved or did you forget about them for them to go? Thanks again dude... this should be my last questions.


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

No worries at all. I would deliberately sit inside my house with the blinds closed on a nice day because how strange it made me feel to look outside I just felt the whole time I was in a different world than what was going on around me. Any form of light would create panic and make me start thinking about my visual symptoms with more anxiety. Honestly don't get to stuck on "this last symptom" I did that for a long time I would always say once this symptom goes I will be back to normal then I would get a new one and the other one wasn't so important but this new symptom was the last one I needed to get rid of. Until I chose to totally live with all my sypmtoms along side me did I start to properly heal I was always caught up on this "one last" symptom then I'm
Good to go I just went well fuck it if it goes it goes if not il live with it. As I said previous when I look at the sky now I still see the floaters but I'm no longer spending my whole day looking into the sky or lit up rooms to see if it's improving it's just like your brain blocks it all out once you stop caring about it until you going searching for it which for me is never im to busy focusing on other things I'm doing during my day, dp and my symptoms don't come into my thought process at all anymore


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## zouzoux (Jul 9, 2018)

Hey man, thank you for sharing your story. I do have visual snow and floaters but they are not annoying anymore and less intense. But just like Ahugenrf the sky with the 2d feeling is what is annoying me especially when it's a clear blue sky. Also, I feel trapped or floating feeling: Like everything outside my field of vision doesn't exist. Hope these feelings go away.


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## Ahungerf (Apr 26, 2018)

Thanks dude!! You said once you stopped caring... but it's as simple as me walking down the stairs in the morning and noticing the bright light out the windows... like my brain is always scanning and picking up on all these subtle changes of light brightness. I do now care less than before but what do I do as I notice this sensation... ignore it? Stay so busy I dont notice it? Or do I somehow confront it to overcome it? Much like exposure therapy? I've conquered panic attacks and phobias many years ago by facing what triggers them... heights, elevators etc... but this is a whole new beast... it's so bizarre that my actual fucking vision has changed for almost 2 years now since I got high like an idiot... I want to trust it will go away but its tuff when it doesnt let up even one day so far... so just ignore it? What did u do? Notice the sky, light all the sensations but do my best to not add a second fear to them?... fuck this one is hard man...


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

One of the valuable things I learnt from counselling and doing some research about how the brain works was that when you have a thought or worry that causes anxiety that message relays to the rationalising part of the brain which either disregards it or if it's a genuine worry it will send twice to the rationalising part at which point your body shoots adreline into the body 'fight or flight' 'mode so how that relates to your situation which was the same as mine I wake up and look outside and think wow how weird does the sky look etc and that process would happen and because I was so worried about it my body genuinely thought it was in danger so the symptoms got worse and worse so I guess I started to try and cut my thoughts off straight away so if I woke up and had a thought about how strange everything feels and looks I would instantly shut it down with something such as "it's okay this is only temporary" that I guess became my new habit down playing all my symptoms and I guess I just desensitised my self to all those thought after continually cutting them off before they Shot all that adrenaline and worry through my body. Like anything it takes time to desensitise yourself to something but eventually it will just happen naturally now when I have an odd thought I take it for what it is just and odd thought/feeling nothing more and with a few seconds I've forgotten all about it, whereas when I was highly anxious I would worry for a whole day about an odd thought I may have had in the morning. Hope that kind of makes sense hard to put it through a message


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## zouzoux (Jul 9, 2018)

Very good point jwd. I just need to know from your experience, when you get desensitized does it stops *feeling* weird or only the thoughts stop coming but the feeling is here if you look for it? It might be interesting since we all have this obsessive trait in common before I got dpdr I used to have health anxiety where let's say I would focus on a certain symptom like stomach pain and fear it's something dangerous like cancer. The pain would not go until I made sure it's not something dangerous...

Thank you again!


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

For me everything stopped feeling weird I used to think constantly how crazy it is we live on this planet In the middle of nowhere etc all these deep thoughts i didn't want to think now when I think that I find it interesting with no fear at all and no longer get a rush of anxiety come over my body. I was exactly the same with health anxiety I was always so focused on my body and feelings a headache for me used to mean I had a brain Tumor or cancer.


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## Ahungerf (Apr 26, 2018)

So do you feel like you had to apply yourself to recover? Or is it something that will happen over time without your need to do anything? For example you said you had to not try to not respond to your symptoms like the sky being weird with fear... therefore your brain would stop seeing it as a threat... But did that happen natuarally over time as you got more calm and anxiety went down naturally so dis the symptoms allowing you to not be so afraid? Or do you feel this is something you have to apply yourself and work hard at retraining your brain to not be afraid and only then can you recover?? 
So basically I'm asking would you of recovered just with time healing and calming you down or did you have to mentally fight to retrain your brain to no longer be afraid?

And if you do have to work hard at retraining your brain to stop noticing or stop adding fear to feeling in a dream how were you able to beleive that just telling yourself "this is only temporary" will work when if your like me NOTHING has worked so far and it hasn't left for even a day... did you just have to fake it? Or did you truley beleive it was only temporary?

I feel like my brain just wont set this thing down... like it wont stop scanning and ruminating and worrying every second about this.


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## Jwd12 (Jun 27, 2015)

I guarantee every single person recovered and who has not recovered, have all felt that way at some point I definelty did all day every day constantly scanning my body for symptoms,since I'm no longer in that state of mind I can't even really remember why or what kept me in it for so long all those worries back then seem so pointless and hard to feel any anxst towards them nowadays so really hard to remember exactly I guess I would say initially I would challenge my thoughts but when you say work hard that sounds stressful you don't have to fight with such gusto it's merely a few words to try and calm yourself down it's not an all out war with your brain or mind So when you wake up and you start to feel your symptoms instead of getting the sick feeling in your stomach simple words such as I know this won't last forever I know this will eventually go it's such a small step but it is a step and the more times your stop reacting to the thoughts with fear and worry and dispair it becomes a natural thing (habit) your new habit is now to be on constant high alert and keep checking in on your symptoms you did that yourself so obviously you can change it right? I guess it's like standing up to a bully at school sure he will be back again a few times but once you stop giving him attention or any power over you he will stop trying to scare you because he's getting nothing out of it, this is similar once your mind stops scanning your body so much for symptoms it will start to think well maybe there isn't a problem here anymore I can move on. Just writing this I thought of something you could try and say when your having a worry thought or scanning your body say something like here comes the bully trying to upset my day but not happening today say that enough then you begin to take control back over the bully! Yes truly believed it was temporary I knew I would get over it eventually probably because I'm a stubborn person and I wasn't going to let it stay with me forever. But on the otherside of that i guess in the end what helped me completely move on was just accepting it and letting it be there even if it was going to be for a long time, once you can learn to remove the fear and worry and emotional attatchment to your thoughts, worries and symptoms will they no longer have an affect on you


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## dec (Nov 8, 2018)

Hey Jwd12, first sorry for my awfull english. I readed all your posts and i have questions, please respond me.

First - You said that you had snow vision before you had dp, right?

Second - Now, dp/dr are cured in you?



Jwd12 said:


> I guarantee every single person recovered and who has not recovered, have all felt that way at some point I definelty did all day every day constantly scanning my body for symptoms,since I'm no longer in that state of mind I can't even really remember why or what kept me in it for so long all those worries back then seem so pointless and hard to feel any anxst towards them nowadays so really hard to remember exactly I guess I would say initially I would challenge my thoughts but when you say work hard that sounds stressful you don't have to fight with such gusto it's merely a few words to try and calm yourself down it's not an all out war with your brain or mind So when you wake up and you start to feel your symptoms instead of getting the sick feeling in your stomach simple words such as I know this won't last forever I know this will eventually go it's such a small step but it is a step and the more times your stop reacting to the thoughts with fear and worry and dispair it becomes a natural thing (habit) your new habit is now to be on constant high alert and keep checking in on your symptoms you did that yourself so obviously you can change it right? I guess it's like standing up to a bully at school sure he will be back again a few times but once you stop giving him attention or any power over you he will stop trying to scare you because he's getting nothing out of it, this is similar once your mind stops scanning your body so much for symptoms it will start to think well maybe there isn't a problem here anymore I can move on. Just writing this I thought of something you could try and say when your having a worry thought or scanning your body say something like here comes the bully trying to upset my day but not happening today say that enough then you begin to take control back over the bully! Yes truly believed it was temporary I knew I would get over it eventually probably because I'm a stubborn person and I wasn't going to let it stay with me forever. But on the otherside of that i guess in the end what helped me completely move on was just accepting it and letting it be there even if it was going to be for a long time, once you can learn to remove the fear and worry and emotional attatchment to your thoughts, worries and symptoms will they no longer have an affect on you


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