# I have to get a tonsillectomy and am completely terrified-- please help me



## redcurlyrose (May 21, 2012)

I'm reposting this from the general forum because no one knew what I could do. Please help if you have experience with general anesthesia.

Hello everyone. I have experienced DP on two occasions, the first time lasting a little under a month and the second around 2 weeks. The first time was due to trying marijuana for the first time (the people I was with thought it would be funny if I smoked 2 joints of the strongest pot they'd ever bought as fast as I could-- I was so incredibly stupid that night and it led to a very traumatic psychotic break of sorts). Luckily, that passed in a few weeks. The second time was 6 months later when I took 2 Butalbitol ( a barbiturate) for a headache. I had never experienced DP from Butalbitol before, and suppose that it only happened because I had "opened my mind to DP" with the marijuana experience. I don't really want to get into what the experiences were like since it kind of gets me back in that torturous mindset, but please believe me when I say it definitely was DP I experienced. Oh, and it's been 1 week since I came out of that last DP episode.

Anyway, onto the topic of this post... I have had recurring tonsillitis for 4 years now and am nearly always sick with it to some degree. Because of this, I am supposed to get my tonsils removed now, at age 22. I have been absolutely DREADING this procedure ever since I experienced DP. I feel it is the absolute worst form of torture... I just cannot imagine anything worse than going through it again. Because of this, I've been trying to find someone who can do a tonsillectomy under local anesthesia (as there is a procedure called laser tonsil ablation that allows for it supposedly), but no one in my state is willing to do anything but general. I've called all of the offices that take my insurance... So, I'm stuck with general anesthesia, it seems.

Now, I've read some of the forum posts about general anesthesia and what to tell the anesthesiologist ("I want to be put under quickly and pulled out even faster"), but I really need some advice about it, if anyone can give some. I'm literally in tears everyday just thinking about going under. Also, I know that anesthesiologists should know about DP, but I really don't think they have any clue what it actually feels like and wonder if that may cause some problems as far as their ability to pick a good med goes. Here are my questions:

1) Is there any non-dissociative anesthetic that you have successfully been put under with and recommend? Can you tell me about your experience?

2) What about post-op medications? I'm also very afraid about this, since I might be put on LORTAB, PERCOCET, or TYLENOL 3 for the pain. Are there any alternative recommendations you all have?

I've read some posts that speak of "some" post-op DP that does not linger. The problem with this for me is that if I feel DP at all or even concentrate on it for too long at times, I can "fall back into it" and am afraid I'll be stuck forever... I'm very sorry if this post comes off as insensitive to those of you who feel this 'round the clock. I am trying to write without concentrating too much on what I'm writing... I'm sorry if I sound looney tunes over here or something about the not concentrating on it thing.

One more thing-- Are there any experiences of those who do not have DP constantly who have gone into surgery? I guess I'm wondering if there is a difference between someone who has DP 24/7 who goes under and it "doesn't make it worse" versus someone who does not have it at the moment and goes under to emerge still DP- free...

If anyone can ease my worries at all, I would be very happy. I almost am on the verge of canceling the surgery and living with chronic tonsillitis forever. That's how worried I am :'(

Oh, and I'm female, in case that makes a difference with the med recommendations. Thank you so much, everyone.


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## aulds (Jun 5, 2012)

redcurlyrose said:


> I'm reposting this from the general forum because no one knew what I could do. Please help if you have experience with general anesthesia.
> 
> Hello everyone. I have experienced DP on two occasions, the first time lasting a little under a month and the second around 2 weeks. The first time was due to trying marijuana for the first time (the people I was with thought it would be funny if I smoked 2 joints of the strongest pot they'd ever bought as fast as I could-- I was so incredibly stupid that night and it led to a very traumatic psychotic break of sorts). Luckily, that passed in a few weeks. The second time was 6 months later when I took 2 Butalbitol ( a barbiturate) for a headache. I had never experienced DP from Butalbitol before, and suppose that it only happened because I had "opened my mind to DP" with the marijuana experience. I don't really want to get into what the experiences were like since it kind of gets me back in that torturous mindset, but please believe me when I say it definitely was DP I experienced. Oh, and it's been 1 week since I came out of that last DP episode.
> 
> ...


just ask for propofol or midazolam, those are the best meds to be put under with, ive been put under with ketamine and although it was weird it didnt make a difference in anything. post op meds shouldt be a prob either, if you can go through the pain just use ibeprofen but goodluck. its not as bad as people think going under, once they just the drugs in you will be out in 15 seconds. feels like you were only out for second aswell, its rather calming imo. if you can ask for propofol, its he best feeling drug to be put under with and it wears off fast once youre awake.


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## redcurlyrose (May 21, 2012)

aulds said:


> just ask for propofol or midazolam, those are the best meds to be put under with, ive been put under with ketamine and although it was weird it didnt make a difference in anything. post op meds shouldt be a prob either, if you can go through the pain just use ibeprofen but goodluck. its not as bad as people think going under, once they just the drugs in you will be out in 15 seconds. feels like you were only out for second aswell, its rather calming imo. if you can ask for propofol, its he best feeling drug to be put under with and it wears off fast once youre awake.


Thanks so much! I actually was able to get in contact with a doctor today who might be willing to do the surgery under local anesthesia, but if not, I will keep these suggestions in mind!


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Well it sounds like even if you did get dp it would be for a very short period of time, yes one month is very short. I've been put under for procedures without anesthetic, just the knock out and is had butalbital, neither caused more dp for me. The physical trauma of the surgery itself could be enoughto trigger an episode. I'd get into meditation and mindfulness and figure out the least stress way to deal with it. That might be less stress then stressing yourself over avoiding it at all costs. You could call one of the drs or therapists who works with dissociation and ask their experience try may be willing to do a short phone call. I'd focus on dealing with what will happen not what might happen, stay in the moment, it'll be less stressful


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