# Feeling in touch with reality again



## Big Ben (Dec 8, 2013)

Today I had a strange but pleasant experience.

I was sat at my computer desk at work staring into space.

When all of a sudden; I had feelings of reality, happiness, crispness, 3d, in touch with my surroundings.

I had feelings of good old memories, smells and the feeling of crips and fresh air and the nice touch of Winters air.

It started this morning and has lasted until now. I don't know how long this will last but I just had to post about it.

I have recently been going to bed earlier and slept more because if I fall asleep with the TV on I tend to feel safer. Then when my wife goes up to bed I go up with her and because I feel drowsy I just go straight to sleep. I am also forcing myself to just let go in the night and although I am sooo scared I will lose my mind or die in my sleep I just let it go and drift off. I do keep waking up in a fright but eventually get into a deep sleep.

I think for me keeping really busy, having good sleep, good healthy food and keeping active is the best way I am going to get better.

Kind regards

Ben


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Do you thing the new med you started has helped?


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## Big Ben (Dec 8, 2013)

Hey Visual

The doctor decided not to put me on Lamatrogine in the end because he had already increased my dose by double of Escitalopram.

I think the increased dosage of this has helped. I also have been doing some relaxation techniques for my jaw as this was really bothering me.

I have been much more active and now have a great hobby and something to look forward to. I am trying to take things very slowly and concentrating on what I do rather than let my mind wonder. Its really hard but I am really trying to look after myself.

Hope your doing OK?

Ben


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## retep (Mar 19, 2013)

Sounds like you are on your way. May you keep making steady progress.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Thanks for sharing


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## ev3rything (Aug 23, 2013)

congratulations big ben


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## MiketheAlien (Nov 7, 2013)

Its your time to shine, Big Ben.


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## Big Ben (Dec 8, 2013)

Hi Bill and everyone

Apologies I have not given you an update but here it is..........

I have good news and bad news. Firstly I will post the good news because I want to warn everyone *the bad news may trigger those of you who are sensitive to upsetting news or hypochondria (like myself).*

The good news: I have managed to learn to control my severe panic and learn how to stay in touch with reality. I basically had the worst panic episode of DP recently which I will talk about in the bad news below but it made me realise something; *No matter what I feel and how DP'd I am NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.* No thought, no weird sensation, no confusion, no thoughts of insanity. no thoughts of arguing with myself and no delusional feelings and strange powerful fearful mind games I play with myself are EVER GOING TO HARM ME. I have found comfort in beleiving that it's safe to let go. It's safe to let my mind wonder. I now understand that me and all of you wonderful people are simply extremely intelligent creative people. Our minds are so creative that we make scenarios and create sensations and imaginative thoughts because of the type of people we are. We are thinkers, deep thinkers, artists, geniuses and wonderful people.

I have learnt I need to look after myself more, focus my mind on doing other things and putting my mind to good use rather than contemplating and overthinking everything. Put my creativity to good use. Some bad news is to follow but it has a very positive side to it. Also I will be posting a new thread soon with what has helped me specifically recently.

The bad news: Unfortunateley the good news has come because of a recent breakdown I had which gave me time to reflect. Basically I had no sleep for a long time because of my DPD scaring me so much I couldnt sleep. When I did sleep I kept waking up in a panic. I had a lot of stress at work and I was on the way home from work recently and starting screaming in the car. I got out of the car and was aimlessly wondering along the road screaming and called an ambulance. In the end I got to the doctors and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital because I had experienced a breakdown. Whilst an inpatient for 7 days I had time to rest, recuperate and reflect. I had overdone it. I am still signed off work with stress. Never the less this breakdown and time in hospital gave me time to sort a few things out in my head. I Questioned everything in hosptial. So much so I burnt myself out. It taught me this; *Keep thoughts simple but put creativity to good use.*

Please read my new post which I will entitle "tips for a simple recovery" soon.

Kind regards

Ben


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