# I feel like I'm on drugs



## Idris (May 19, 2012)

When I explain how I feel to people (the few people I've told) they tell me it sounds like I'm on drugs, like I've smoked too much weed or I've taken LSD.

My thoughts are so existential, all the time, it makes me panic because I feel so KEENLY AWARE that I exist. It's the weirdest thing. I start to panic because I know that I am conscious and I don't know why I am here. Why am I watching TV? Why am I doing anything?

I know this probably sounds familiar to the lot of you, so I'm probably just sounding redundant. I just want you all to know how much finding this board has helped me. I thought I was going insane or that something was deeply wrong with me.

Maybe we're all a bunch of very special people and we just don't know what's going on with us or how to deal with it yet. I try to think of it optimistically sometimes.


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## Guest (May 26, 2012)

Idris said:


> When I explain how I feel to people (the few people I've told) they tell me it sounds like I'm on drugs, like I've smoked too much weed or I've taken LSD.
> 
> My thoughts are so existential, all the time, it makes me panic because I feel so KEENLY AWARE that I exist. It's the weirdest thing. I start to panic because I know that I am conscious and I don't know why I am here. Why am I watching TV? Why am I doing anything?
> 
> ...


Welcome to the forum, redundancy...*optimism*...and all!


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## daydreambeliever (Jun 15, 2011)

Idris said:


> When I explain how I feel to people (the few people I've told) they tell me it sounds like I'm on drugs, like I've smoked too much weed or I've taken LSD.
> 
> My thoughts are so existential, all the time, it makes me panic because I feel so KEENLY AWARE that I exist. It's the weirdest thing. I start to panic because I know that I am conscious and I don't know why I am here. Why am I watching TV? Why am I doing anything?
> 
> ...


I really like your post. I find it very uplifting. Once I quit fighting this disorder I recognized that I admire people who aren't afraid to ask the scary questions, and brave enough to look at everything, investigate, admit truth, these are qualities a lot of us share. It is hard to live this way. Like all knowing in some way or something. All seeing perhaps. I feel like I take in as much as a camera and then I have to decipher it. It takes energy to be like this especially when we are expected by society to rush around and never contemplate a thing. I get behind in my processing. It gets depressing at time but only because we live with constant peer pressure. My therapist coined that phrase. We grow up in schools abnormally sat with kids our age competing for attention, and being compared to the other kids our age. If you are a smart person how do you grow up this way? However you do! I don't know, and then we try drugs and drink! lol Sorry I grow spacey!


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

alot of us have existential crisis along with the Dp/Dr thats what has you think these really deep thoughts. it is also what makes you question the fundaments of who you are and how you look at the world. Its "normal" and try to look at yourself as normal too that will aid you in not getting any ideas about that there is something wrong with you fundamentally because thats just not true. Ive battled this disorder for 2 years soon and what ive come to find is that most of it is just about getting stuck in your head and not knowing how to "get out" so you panic and think your going crazy







. Also an important insight i had was that this is by no means an "intellectual" process, that is you do not need to "evolve" intellectually to get cured. Try to stay rooted in the present and until you have certainty about not loosing your mind i suggest you try to investigate and ask yourself more often than not "isnt this just a normal reaction" or "isnt this just what happens when your imbalanced".

Best of luck and stay calm!


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## Idris (May 19, 2012)

thanks for the responses.









I think it gets easier when you realize it's the same as a panic attack. The whole "not knowing how to get out of your head" is basically what makes me panic.

No drugs for me! Wee!


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