# feel like shit



## mar (May 26, 2017)

i'm panicked to be alive and totally detached from my self and my surroundings.
i'm just floating around existing.
called in sick to work this morning. woke up with palpitations and bad anxiety.

been on sertaline 50 mg for 9 weeks. I think its maybe making my DP worse. tried to decrease the dose but felt even worse.. 
started to feel mental terror, don't even know why. like i felt the emptiness of universe inside me.. sounds weird but thats how i felt. yesterday it felt like i was losing it at any moment, like i was going totally mad.
back at 50 mg now. i guess i just have to keep taking them since its helping with depression and anxiety..

really hope the existential thoughts will go away soon.. don't know what to do anymore. every time i think of my own existence i freak out


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

Hate to say it, but going on the general... Sertaline hasn't been good to me or many people on this site, ride it out for a while, but after that don't be afraid to say this is not working for me. Eg, Sertaline was horrible for me, Mirtazapine after 3 months was good, many others here have similar experiences with Sertaline, one pill does not fit all for depression and certainly not for DP. As for the thoughts, i'd personally say at least half of it is a loop you are playing, you don't feel like it and it takes a lot of distraction, at the start i had that whole thing, with no meds (off them 2 years) practice and time that whole existence thing does not trigger me or a problem at all, i'd mention a circumstance but it would trigger you, just trust me on that one. The existential thoughts for me had nothing to do with meds, just took a lot of distraction


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

CK1 said:


> Hate to say it, but going on the general... Sertaline hasn't been good to me or many people on this site, ride it out for a while, but after that don't be afraid to say this is not working for me. Eg, Sertaline was horrible for me, Mirtazapine after 3 months was good, many others here have similar experiences with Sertaline, one pill does not fit all for depression and certainly not for DP. As for the thoughts, i'd personally say at least half of it is a loop you are playing, you don't feel like it and it takes a lot of distraction, at the start i had that whole thing, with no meds (off them 2 years) practice and time that whole existence thing does not trigger me or a problem at all, i'd mention a circumstance but it would trigger you, just trust me on that one. The existential thoughts for me had nothing to do with meds, just took a lot of distraction


I'm actually quite relieved to hear that, as I also couldn't really handle Sertraline. I did really try, kept on it for weeks, towards the end taking half a tablet instead to see if I tolerated it better, but I just found it too activating at a time I wasn't ready for that and it was making me panic. Completely agree with your advice about not being afraid to go back to your doctor and saying when something is not working not for you, as there are other options.


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## mar (May 26, 2017)

CK1 said:


> Hate to say it, but going on the general... Sertaline hasn't been good to me or many people on this site, ride it out for a while, but after that don't be afraid to say this is not working for me. Eg, Sertaline was horrible for me, Mirtazapine after 3 months was good, many others here have similar experiences with Sertaline, one pill does not fit all for depression and certainly not for DP. As for the thoughts, i'd personally say at least half of it is a loop you are playing, you don't feel like it and it takes a lot of distraction, at the start i had that whole thing, with no meds (off them 2 years) practice and time that whole existence thing does not trigger me or a problem at all, i'd mention a circumstance but it would trigger you, just trust me on that one. The existential thoughts for me had nothing to do with meds, just took a lot of distraction


thanks so much for your replay! yes i'm gonna try another pill. if there only was a pill that didn't make DP worse, but still helps with depression and anxiety it would be amazing. gonna talk to my doctor this wednesday and try something else. great that mirtazapin worked for you! yeah the existential stuff is some kind of loop. the good thing if you find a med that fits you is that you obsesse less about the hole dp/existential thing. great that the existential stuff don't bother you any more! yeah i guess distraction is the key. trying to stay positive but its hard at times.


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

I'm not fully recovered just to let you know, but i had other reasons to stop all medication after 3 months (think it's thyroid but they've thought many things).. but I am going back on it after 2 years.

I think you are missing the point a touch, a pill that works will take time to settle for DP, in my case 3 months which is longer than the 6-8 week thing, but either way, if it's working it makes DP better. Antipsychotics are well tolerated and often used with an Antidepressant, I have tried Olanzapine and Quietapine, both for me make it better, again had to go off them, but will revisit this. But yes, after the start 'spaced out' thing which i find on any Anti Depressant, it should be making you better DP or it's not right.. again i'll say it again, when you start the first few months can be rough. If you are trying to find the right medication I have a list I made from reading this site, research (trials) and advice / success stories, it's slim lined to 20 medication combo's, just shows you two things, one there is many combo's that have worked, two, everyone reacts different


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