# My long Journey / my story



## Meeka (Jul 3, 2013)

The start of all this hellish nightmare with DP & DR all started when I gave birth to my daughter around 3 years ago now. I'm 24 this year.

I had a very traumatic labor, my first child & I was 21, I first noticed something was wrong while I was still in the hospital maybe about the 2nd or 3rd day there. I felt drunk, lightheaded, I at first thought it was due to the amount of blood I lost in the Birth so I had a blood transfusion and had more foods that were high in Iron and I though that would end it.

About a month later I still had this drunk feeling, a feeling like your not quite conscious not fully awake would be the best way to describe it. My eyesight wasn't right it felt off, like visual snow of looking through glass so I had tests done, blood tests, ears checked sent to ENT specialists, My eyes checked by numerous optometrists, seen a physiologist & medications prescribed to me for depression cause the doctors had no idea what I was talking about so they put it down to depression because I had just had a baby :angry: but I knew I wasn't depressed it was something else....

I would look at my hands and they didn't look right like they weren't mine. I felt numb no emotion no taste no smell. I though I was loosing it, I got referred to a neurologist where i had a CT scan and MRI done. All normal.... I had constant panic attacks, ended up in the ER afew times.

I had just had a baby? Wasn't this meant to be a happy time in my life??

I sit in the dark on most night because having the lights on make the physical symptoms worse for me. i can't tolerate a lot of action around me cause i get dizzy and disorientated.

3 years later I have excepted that this is DP/DR. Well I hope that's what it is anyway cause I'm sick of looking and getting no where  That's my story..... I hope somebody can relate..


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## D'annie (Jul 24, 2013)

this is exactly how i feel


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## ev3rything (Aug 23, 2013)

Have you talked to someone about what you went through when you gave birth? Was it physically traumatic or mentally traumatic (or both?). Are there doctors or psychologists who deal with women who are mothers for the first time? I don't know what's caused DP to manifest for you but I hope you feel better about experiencing it. It is hell on earth to be separated from your physical senses. Have you gotten this confirmed by a doctor yet? It sounds like DP...I don't think there's a ton of doctors/psychologists that know what dissociation & depersonalization is (or have specific experience) but there are people out there who know what you're describing.


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