# Advice on a really weird issue.



## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

2 years ago my first and only boyfriend was stolen by this girl, let's call her Sarah* (that's not her name, but for some reason I feel weird posting it). For some reason, even though I we had no basic relationship before this event, after she broke up with him, we started talking. I've never really liked her, but we hung out several times over the summer.

Very recently I decided I couldn't forgive Sarah* and that I did not like her. I stopped talking to her because she just seems like a liar and a bad person.

So Sarah* just emailed me and told me the unthinkable....... She told me that I am gorgeous and smart and interesting (at this point in the email I'm scratching my head) and that
*she has a crush on me.*

She told me that she is not a lesbian and that "sometimes girls just have crushes on other girls." She said she's been bothered by this for months.

She said she doesn't expect anything to come out of it, but she still seems hopeful. It's really weird. She knows I don't like girls. I was trying to avoid her, but with this new element I just feel really weird and guilty. I would have never expected this. She's a very feminine sort of girl (not to stereotype) and so am I.

When I used to party and do stupid shit, I made out with her and she told me I was a good kisser. I'm replaying moments like this and I still can't believe it. I'm wondering whether she's just experimenting with some strange new idea.

How do you respond to something like this? She's expecting a response because she knows I check my email daily; so this means I have to cook something up within 12 hours.

I'm not even entirely sure I'm not dreaming this, but I tried to fly and it didn't work..... :lol: I'm speaking from a dreamworld.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

I don't really feel as though i can properly respond as i know so little about the relationship between the two of you. But, as far as a kind of standard response, i would throw in how flattered you are but you aren't interested in girls in that way...unless of course you are, but just not interested in her, in which case i would still suggest the "flattered but firm" approach. In situations like this, unless the person is either insane or just extremely indifferent to life in general, they've made themselves vulnerable to you. It's a big thing and not one that should be thrown back in someone's face. Basically, if you're going to reject her, do so with plenty of sugar.

s.

p.s. Just out of curiosity, is Sarah* any relation to our own Terri*?


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

:shock:

Well how and where the Sam Hill did you come up with that? One bad knock, knock joke and see what happens? :?

I will say Sebastians advice sounds very sound to me. HE is crazy, but his advice is sound. 8)

I think it is easy, no matter what your sexual preference, for wires to get crossed and feelings to become stronger for one individual then the other. The sooner you get it straightened out the better it will be for you both.



> I stopped talking to her because she just seems like a liar and a bad person.


Upon reflection, Sebastian, I think my feelings are hurt.


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2006)

Hurt feelings? From such an obvious poke in the ribs?? Naahhhh.....


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

yeah, i would just tell her that you don't really like girls like that. it will soften the blow of rejection.


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

shag her! shag her rotten baby yeahhh!!!


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Will somebody around here do some shagging so Sleepy can get some satisfaction ! :lol:

(Beach, well of course it was a joke. Mine was passive guilt throwing for return fun. :| S. knows that. Thanks for trying to help us out though. )


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

sleepingbeauty said:


> shag her! shag her rotten baby yeahhh!!!


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2006)

[quote name="sleepingbeauty"]shag her! shag her rotten baby yeahhh!!!







[/quote

Well we know how you answered the "how amorous/salacious are you?" poll. 
We also have a good idea how much chest hair you like in a man/woman.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

terri* said:


> Will somebody around here do some shagging so Sleepy can get some satisfaction ! :lol:
> 
> )


i'm tryin'!!!


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2006)

sleepingbeauty said:


> shag her! shag her rotten baby yeahhh!!!


"Ooooohhhhh....feelin' frisky are we?"


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2006)

agentcooper said:


> terri* said:
> 
> 
> > Will somebody around here do some shagging so Sleepy can get some satisfaction ! :lol:
> ...


You do realize agentc., that you're beholden to give us a detailed account (I was going to say blow by blow) of the progression of your relationship with the new guy, since you announced it here and now have an interested audience.........?


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

lol. blow by blow.

:shock:


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2006)

I have a crush on a woman who works at the grocery store and it's driving me crazy. She's just so nice! And no I'm not a lesbian-bi-curious. She sort of looks like a guy though so maybe my lizard brain is responding to her as though she actually were one.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

i get tons of crushes on girls...i'm not bi (i know this because i have acted on those crushes and it always leaves me feeling weird the next day) but i think it's pretty easy to have crushes on the same sex even if you're straight. i dunno about boys though...do you boys get crushes on other boys?


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

This is all very informative. I've never had a crush on a girl. Ever. But I tend to attract gay people as friends. And I used to always joke that I'm the most heterosexual person alive. Because I love men. Too much. I can watch lesbian porn and like it but I could never kiss a girl. I'd have to be very very drunk. And so far I've never been that drunk. Once when I was on Ecstasy I got hit on by a girl. She was pretty and all and she started rubbing my back and I just got up and left the room. It did nothing for me. I just can't see looking at a girl and thinking how hot she is and wanting her. I don't get bisexuals. I say pick a side. I'm only half way joking but it is something that has always fascinated me. Bisexuals.


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2006)

littlecrocodile said:


> I have a crush on a woman who works at the grocery store and it's driving me crazy. She's just so nice! And no I'm not a lesbian-bi-curious. She sort of looks like a guy though so maybe my lizard brain is responding to her as though she actually were one.


Well maybe I should clarify. It's not like I would want to have a gooey interlude with this lady. It's more that I'd like to lock her in a room and force her to PM me 3,000 times so I could get to know her inside and out. Or maybe those 2 are the same thing?


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## MrMortgage (Aug 26, 2005)

Oh man! This is really interesting, it kinda reminds me of that one time at band camp, me and this......uh.....  nevermind :lol:


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

Er....are any of you guys getting turned on a little with all this girl on girl talk? I must admit that this thread has me in a state of anticipation, impatiently waiting for the next post.

Never had the urge to be with a male. Though once back at school I did admire a friend but it was more of a case of I wish I was as cool as him. I can appreciate a handsome bloke but nothing ever sexual. I have a good mate who is gay and feel perfectly comfortable with his sexuality. When he came out he was reluctant to tell me because he thought I was one person who would not accept him being gay which was strange because I really don't care what people do as long as they don't hurt anyone.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Girls are so much more attractive than men. I mean men can be good looking, but I'm talking genital wise...

Well who wouldn't rather look at a girl's private's than a guys?

I'm straight, but I tend to make out with girls when I'm drunk.

Fingertingle... interesting predicament. You say she knows you don't like girls... and yet she is telling you all this. AND she stole your boyfriend. Sounds suspicious to me. The only reasons I could see why someone would try to change another's sexual preference would be if it's just for kicks... or if they really have deep feelings for the person.

Hmmm. Maybe she stole your boyfriend cuz she was jealous seeing him with you.

Sorry, that's probably not comforting.

I agree with the advice already given. Tell her your flattered, but ya just don't swing that way.


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## maria (Oct 28, 2004)

I've kissed my best friend and one other girl but it felt like kissing my palm.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

well, it's all a scale, isn't it? i have a friend who is 100% bi. i've never believed that someone could be right down the middle like that...but she really is. i have been genuinely attracted to girls, but i couldn't ever have a relationship with one. it just doesn't feel right.

...this board is getting so juicy! i'm really liking it. :wink:


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

im with enngirl on this one, no attraction to girls. its not that i cant find a girl attractive, but its more of a jealous type feeling. :lol:


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

peacedove said:


> Girls are so much more attractive than men. I mean men can be good looking, but I'm talking genital wise...
> 
> Well who wouldn't rather look at a girl's private's than a guys?


Can't argue with that!!!!


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

i guess im the odd man out. female parts dont float my boat. i would much rather look at man parts. and ive tried the 'softer' meat and it made me vomit. but thats the thing. you never know until you try. im sticking with my original statement of giving her a rotten shagging.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I try to think that sometimes I can offer advice, but that one just takes the biscuit !! What a story.

If you are not a Lesbian, and forgive her for her stealing episode, then I'd smile nicely and just say the usual - 'Let's just be friends'. If she persists in hassling you, then run. To the hills. And hide.


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2006)

[quote name="peacedove"]Girls are so much more attractive than men. I mean men can be good looking, but I'm talking genital wise...

Well who wouldn't rather look at a girl's private's than a guy's?"

Me, for one. In fact I really like that cloud picture.....


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## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

agentcooper said:


> well, it's all a scale, isn't it? i have a friend who is 100% bi. i've never believed that someone could be right down the middle like that...but she really is. i have been genuinely attracted to girls, but i couldn't ever have a relationship with one. it just doesn't feel right.
> 
> ...this board is getting so juicy! i'm really liking it. :wink:


It's a scale of heterosexuality to homosexuality, or the other way around..... Kinsey's scale of somethingsomething; anyway 50% is totally bisexual I think.


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## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

peacedove said:


> Girls are so much more attractive than men. I mean men can be good looking, but I'm talking genital wise...
> 
> Well who wouldn't rather look at a girl's private's than a guys?
> 
> ...


I can see how you came to that conclusion, but we barely knew eachother when she started doing my boyfriend... :lol: and she's madly in love with him to this day. I was sort of thinking it might be a possibility that she's doing this to turn on our ex...... she's been working since they broke up to get him back... this seems like a desperate last resort, but she's kind of a desperate girl. She seems to lie a lot too. So I feel really ridiculous responding to her as I normally would if she's just lying.

As for the making out with girls...... I do too. I don't feel anything with girls OR guys when I'm drunk and I've never kissed a girl sober, but I doubt it would be any different.

But hell... if I'm going to try swinging the other way it's not going to be with a crazy bitch like her


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## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

rainboteers said:


> im with enngirl on this one, no attraction to girls. its not that i cant find a girl attractive, but its more of a jealous type feeling. :lol:


Yeah..... I've even been infatuated with them, but usually girls I think are really gorgeous and cool I'm just really jealous of.


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## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

Thanks for all the responses guys..

I told her to give me some time to absorb the idea and the possibility that she's being serious......... which is probably the worst thing I could ever do because it seems like it's leading up to something!! God.........why do I do these things?????


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## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

P.S. Is there a way to include multiple quotes in one comment??


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

peacedove said:


> Girls are so much more attractive than men. I mean men can be good looking, but I'm talking genital wise...
> 
> Well who wouldn't rather look at a girl's private's than a guys?


I feel I should clarify. I don't mean just pus*ies by themselves. They aren't exactly attractive. I guess I mean breasts and just the way the whole female body is put together. Penises aren't attractive in the least... in my opinion. Except maybe when you're all ready to go. Penises make me laugh otherwise. Not to be rude. The way they just hang there... or stick out there depending on the circumstances... with their little dangling counterparts.

I would much rather go to a men's strip club to see women than to go see men thrusting and bouncing about.

Ok enough of that sorry.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

fingertingle said:


> P.S. Is there a way to include multiple quotes in one comment??


Yes.

You have to type it in.


name said:


> words


Without spaces.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

Maybe since she's in love with the boyfriend, and you were with him for so long and he's in love with you, that being with you she feels closer to him. Am I completely barking up the wrong tree here?

As for male, female parts, hmm... I like looking at mens bodies. I think though as far as looking at pictures and videos, women play the seductress scene so much better that they look hot when naked. But when men try to pose naked, and look sexy, they just look like dorks. So maybe that's why I like porn with girls but I could never do something in real life with a girl.

Either way it just goes to show there is a clear separation between sex with someone and actually being interested in that person. We can be turned on by someone but not want to be in a relationship with them, or cuddle, etc. Not that that equals love. There is lust, then there is liking the person, then there is love. Three very separate things. And don't get me started on love. It's exhausting.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

LOL. oops. Just copy what the comp. puts in when you're quoting someone and insert a different name.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

enngirl5 said:


> I think though as far as looking at pictures and videos, women play the seductress scene so much better that they look hot when naked. But when men try to pose naked, and look sexy, they just look like dorks. So maybe that's why I like porn with girls but I could never do something in real life with a girl.


Yes! Exactly what I meant, thank you. :wink:


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Except for the never doing something in real life with a girl.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Fingertingle, 
Never, ever tell someone you'll _think_ about it. That, by definition, means there's a chance. And half the fun is in anticipation, and I'll bet she's just anticipating away....I'd say "Sorry, I'm really angry at you right now, but if I cool down, having a friendship is fine"....or something thereabouts. Its honest, to the point, gentle, and true.

As for the whole naked body versus naked body, I think a guy's body is more functional than anything else. I admit, though, that I have no idea what women think is hot. The more I've been around them and talked to them, though, the more I think its asthetic beauty that turns a woman on, while with guys, its all hormones, and physique, and the down and dirty. I cant say I've ever been attracted like that to a guy, but when I was younger, I was infatuated with some guys I thought were really cool and mature. I saw a Seinfeld episode where George has a "guy-crush", and I can understand where thats coming from. When I'm not feeling well, though, and my testosterone is probably near zero, neither sex looks very good naked. I think, honestly, that its an aquired taste, and you dont get used to either sex naked for a while....my younger brother (much younger) made a comment that the clothes promise more than they can deliver. In effect, showing some skin but not EVERYTHING is better and sort of piques people's interest, heightening anticipation, and when everything is unveiled, its kind of like....Is that all? Anyways, I thought it was a deep thought.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## fingertingle (Sep 29, 2005)

enngirl5 said:


> Maybe since she's in love with the boyfriend, and you were with him for so long and he's in love with you, that being with you she feels closer to him. Am I completely barking up the wrong tree here?


haha he's not in love with me, we haven't talked in over a year!

Hhhhhhhomeskooled..........it was supposed to be dismissing not leading, but yeah......... I fucked up I guess. I doubt she's hoping for anything, I mean, she knows I'm straight..... I don't know.. ughhhhhhhhhhhh.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

...who doubted my powers as a sexual predator, I had a date with TWO (count 'em), TWO women last night. Lovely meal, wine, the lot.

Unfortunately I was 40 minutes late, but apparently women love that.  But then, afterwards, they said that they had to meet up with their boyfriends.

Still, not bad eh?


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2006)

Martinelv said:


> .
> Unfortunately I was 40 minutes late, but apparently women love that.


Which women love that?? Not me.


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