# Disillusioned by it all



## Timer (Feb 10, 2011)

Well here I am, 9 months now with DP/DR.

I've read so many different 'how I was cured' threads, taken hundreds of pounds worth of supplements, read books about anxiety and how to treat it but when I look at it all, I feel NO closer to recovery, REALLY, if I'm honest to myself..

The last week or so I have been trying to do things, saw my friends, been excersising etc, trying yet new supplements but I wonder, who am I trying to kid? All the time while doing those things, it felt like a chore, I felt no connection to it all and merely pushed myself through it.

I wonder is it because I haven't been trying that - "carry on as normal" method long enough to see results, or maybe some people just dont see results?

My DR is such that I can't work at the moment, its pretty much disabled me because of the visual symptoms I have and the concentration and focus symptoms, am I trying to get to a point where I can just handle it and act as if its ok rather than being cured and actually feel connected all the time (normal)? I speak to people on here who work, hold down relationships as normal etc and then will turn around and say they are dp/dr'ed. Well thats not the same feeling I'm going through...If I could go to work, get on with relationships, friends family etc I wouldn't be dp/dr'ed so God knows what I have.

Apologies, this is a bit negative in tone, also very self centered and self pitying but its just how I'm feeling today, I know theres no quick fix, and I guess I will get back on with my recovery plans (hopes) tomorrow, but just needed to say how I felt right now, I really really wanna just get on with my life now have this constant floaty/heavy head feeling 24/7.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I am totally with you Timer. Ever since I got this I have been on a righteous DP path. Supplements, distraction, work, therapy, anxiety books, love... and I can say that at the end of 7 months of dealing with this that essentially nothing has changed. Now that I am so exhausted from battling it, I don't feel I can engage in the positive activities very much. My will is starting to wane... only because there has been no benefit to my battle. Very defeatist, but I think DP fucks you up like that.

I'm starting to experiment with anti-depressants now. As much as I wanted to put off that route, the positive time-related natural route has become questionable. I know soaking in the feelings make them worse, however, sometimes I prefer to do that than try and engage with the world. Regardless, I wish you my best and hope that things start resolving themselves for you.


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## LizzyB (Jun 7, 2011)

dont waste too much time and effort trying to cure this ( u can keep tryin wats available but dont put all ur hope on them cos dey might fail), try and cope with it in work, relationship, friend, family.

all u need to tell urself is 'Dont worry i can do this ', 'with time dp will go'.

with relationship and family, try and let them understand,if they dont nothin u can do, in work u can do part time so dat work wont be hard on u cos of concentration and focus problem and to keep d stress down, friends will adjust to the new you.

and dont worry u will b fine, dp or not.


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## Timer (Feb 10, 2011)

LizzyB said:


> dont waste too much time and effort trying to cure this ( u can keep tryin wats available but dont put all ur hope on them cos dey might fail), try and cope with it in work, relationship, friend, family.
> 
> all u need to tell urself is 'Dont worry i can do this ', 'with time dp will go'.
> 
> ...


Hey Lizzy, thanks for the reply - I guess in a selfish way I just want to be 'the old me' or a new version of me WITHOUT dp/dr, rather than people having to adjust to a guy who cant remember things, gets nervous in conversation, cant focus or concentrate etc....but I do hear what your saying, just plod along and in time it will go...(hopefully)


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## Timer (Feb 10, 2011)

PhoenixDown said:


> I am totally with you Timer. Ever since I got this I have been on a righteous DP path. Supplements, distraction, work, therapy, anxiety books, love... and I can say that at the end of 7 months of dealing with this that essentially nothing has changed. Now that I am so exhausted from battling it, I don't feel I can engage in the positive activities very much. My will is starting to wane... only because there has been no benefit to my battle. Very defeatist, but I think DP fucks you up like that.
> 
> I'm starting to experiment with anti-depressants now. As much as I wanted to put off that route, the positive time-related natural route has become questionable. I know soaking in the feelings make them worse, however, sometimes I prefer to do that than try and engage with the world. Regardless, I wish you my best and hope that things start resolving themselves for you.


Hey PhoenixDown, same for me, end of July no improvements then I will go down the route of anti-depressants, again I've heard some good stories about people curing themselves with them. It just seems like you have to 'stike it lucky' with the combination you use, as some work for some and not for others.

Likewise for you, all the best, hope it pans out good for you.


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## Reborn (Jun 24, 2011)

Hey Timer, I know just what u mean. I've just about given up trying to cure it cuz it seems that nothing is helping and its impossible for me to have a social life or a real job. I've been on Effexor (Venlafaxine) for 4 months and though it doesn't help with depression as much as I'd like it to, there's been a lot of days where it's made me feel good enough to a point where DP doesn't bother me as much and it's definitely helped with the physical symptoms. I guess you just gotta keep on keeping on until you find something that works. Good luck man.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

Just a thought. It is still important to do stuff during the day. Even if you suck at it, just try to do something. Lately, I've just been thinking of DP as my second chance in life. Like, that I was supposed to die the day I got it... but I was given a second chance to live, except I now have this major hurdle of DP. From here on in it's all bonus for me! Cuz when it comes down to it, I'd rather have DP with a chance to get better than be dead. There are plenty of people that get owned in car crashes, and that is totally game over. It's not game over for us yet! I'm 25, and I'm sure there are plenty of people my age that are now fucked up in some major way. Some are dead, in jail, some actually have brain tumours. The whole spectrum. We have DP and this shit might go away. Fucking rad! Finally at least DP/DR doesn't literally blow the universe into a non-identifiable world. I mean this shit is pretty fucked up, but whatever, I'm living with it right now. So cheers to being alive and inspiring each other on the boards!! I love u guys.


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