# marijuana and derealization.



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

hey guys its been a while since i started posting in here. i been off weed like 3 months now but i really missed it every time i see someone smoking or something that reminds me to pot i get nostalgic and i wanna smoke. but when i smoke my derealization gets worst and i kind freak out i feel completely out of reality and weird. i been smoking since i am 12 and ive never had any probs before i started felling dp,d. and weed is not the only thing that my derealization fucks its all partys chicks family it makes all weird and i just want my normal life again weed skating normal enjoyable conversations i need a way to stop feeling derealized fast. can someone recommend a good medication for this. ive heard klonopin is good but thats an anxiety medication and i don,t feel anxiety no more. i am an actor and am gonna start working on a movie in a couple of months. and i really dough,t that i can work like this.


----------



## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Hey there. Stay off the weed if its a trigger for you. I don't smoke myself, but I can relate to how you are feeling with alcohol. I'm not supposed to be drinking on my meds - but its hard to do that when i'm at the age where drinking is such a normal part of being social and i'm trying to maintain being social.

But you know the answer to this - if you smoke you are going to feel worse. If you want to feel worse, then smoke. But i'm sure you don't - so stay away from the weed until you are feeling more stable.

Klonopin is great but is used more when the person is experiencing a bunch of anxiety. Someone with more experience with meds could probably tell you if it could benefit DP without anxiety. What do you feel with your DP? Depression? Mood shifts? Nothing? There is no med for DP/DR specifically so usually you look at the emotional experience tied to it and try and treat it in that way.


----------



## RaoulDuke (Mar 17, 2009)

DO NOT SMOKE WEED

I REPEAT DO NOT SMOKE WEED

I have had anxiety and probably mild OCD my entire life but about 5 years ago a culmination of MARIJUANA, anxiety, & depression triggered my Depersonalization/Derealization and intense OCD. I battled it out for probably close to two years and this message board became like my second home. Eventually my intense feelings of DP/DR and agonizing OCD started to gradually fade. I had it in my mind that I would forever move on from DP/DR and pretty much stopped posting here. I felt like I was heading in a positive direction but in reality I was still very depressed and insecure. I did however feel like I could deal with that because my anxiety, ocd & dp/dr were mild or non existant.

I did not smoke any marijuana for 3 years plus but ONE DAY I DECIDED HELL I FEEL BETTER , I HAVEN'T SMOKED IN 3 YEARS WHY NOT GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS and BOOM there I was, back to being a stupid pot head again. Let me tell you the words DEPERSONALIZATION AND DEREALIZATION became very foriegn to me for about two years or so. I had no care about these disorders and symptoms and figured that they would never return in full force. Upon my return to smoking weed DP/DR didn't emerge too often and the anxiety really wasn't present at all, at least not consciously. But what i think happened was a mixture of life stresses, underlying depression & insecurity, unresolved issues combined with habitual marijuana use led to once again ANOTHER BREAKDOWN WITH SEVERE DP/DR & OCD which is what I am battling through right now.

I completely and utterly regret returning to marijuana use. I wish someone would have stopped me because for 3 years I had immensly strong will power and was also very scared to ever return to this state of mind. But because 98 % of my friends smoke weed and because I developed a genuine curiosity in smoking again I am now ONCE AGAIN BACK IN THE HORRIFIC WORLD OF DP/DR AND OCD. Once again Depersonalization has reared it's vile and insidous head back into my life. Depression and Anxiety are like fighting an amature and DP/DR combined with OCD is like fighting Mike Tyson in his prime.

I made it out of this state once before and I really hope and pray that I can do it again but I know that I have to really make positive changes in my life and in the way I think. And without question I can never ever make a return to smoking weed or using any other kinds of recreational drugs. I may even quit drinking as well.

This is NOT THE PLACE THAT I WANT TO BE IN AT MY AGE. I am still young and feel like I have a ton of potential but right now I felt like someone dropped an atom bomb on my mind.

My warning to you and anyone else reading this DO NOT RETURN TO SMOKING WEED OR USING DRUGS OF ANY KIND EVER AGAIN BECAUSE IT IS MORE THAN LIKELY THAT YOU WILL REGRET IT.


----------



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

its true but hell i need some sort of medication for this is not that i have mood swings or that i am hallucinating i just have dp and dr this are my only symptoms and there is no meds for it. i am going nuts i have a movie project in two months and i do not think that i can cope with it with the dr.


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

lucid said:


> its true but hell i need some sort of medication for this is not that i have mood swings or that i am hallucinating i just have dp and dr this are my only symptoms and there is no meds for it. i am going nuts i have a movie project in two months and i do not think that i can cope with it with the dr.


Do something else besides weed, then. But "medicine" is supposed to make you feel _better_.


----------



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

i just want to find a good prescription drug for dp,dr to start working cause i don,t imagine working with derealization. i heard klonopin helps dp but i do not have amxiety symptoms at least no more


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

lucid said:


> i just want to find a good prescription drug for dp,dr to start working cause i don,t imagine working with derealization. i heard klonopin helps dp but i do not have amxiety symptoms at least no more


If anxiety isn't a problem, then the only other issue besides DP/DR itself would be depression. If you suffer depression, look into SSRI's. There's no real way to control DP/DR (although some antipsychotics could help, generally the side effects outweigh the benefits), but if it doesn't cause severe anxiety or depression, eventually you should be able to find a way to cope with the altered perception reality and a stable/functional life is quite possible.


----------



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

you know something ego its true if i don't have depression or anxiety i should be able to cope with it. its just that sometimes i feel so separated from time and reality and that makes me feel really weird. my biggest fear is going crazy and i only suffer anxiety or panic attacks when i think that am going suddenly crazy. am coping with it actually am going out everyday parting meeting new people. but suddenly a job opportunity appeared and i don't that i can cope with that cause part of the project of someone else is in my hands. and am scared that people notice that am depersonalized and think that i am nuts. am gonna do my best to cope with it even better than what am doing now. i am trying exercise now i heard that working out can really pump up my neurotransmitters and make some change in my perception.


----------



## sjkdfjsdlf (Apr 8, 2008)

egodeath, wouldn't you say that people coming to this forum asking for advice about meds to help DP aren't looking for an answer like "you'll learn to live with it"? nothing against you but it's about self-improvement here, I'd say. Anyway, various SSRIs have helped people.. and prozac brought me to a full recovery at one time. Also, amino acids like 5-htp, GABA and b-complexes will work wonders. I was fully recovered at one time, and now I'm trying to get back to that place. Lots of positive thinking and distraction helped, as well as getting back to my old activities and having a "fuck it" approach. This is a way minimized version but please message me if you have any questions


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

katie02160 said:


> egodeath, wouldn't you say that people coming to this forum asking for advice about meds to help DP aren't looking for an answer like "you'll learn to live with it"?


I'm not trying to say "man up, I eat DP/DR for breakfast;" I'm trying to say that as far as cures go, there are no FDA approved medications that treat the symptoms of DP/DR. Clonazepam has helped me a lot, but it really doesn't do anything for the experience of DP/DR.

I'm just being honest: dissociative disorders are as of yet pharmacologically untreatable.


----------



## sjkdfjsdlf (Apr 8, 2008)

^Ah okay I gotcha. You're right, in the area of pharmaceuticals. I wish there was a way we could team up and somehow make a difference in the amount of research that goes into this crazy sensation. :?


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

katie02160 said:


> ^Ah okay I gotcha. You're right, in the area of pharmaceuticals. I wish there was a way we could team up and somehow make a difference in the amount of research that goes into this crazy sensation. :?


Right there with you, but the truth of the matter is that dissociative experiences affect about 4-6% of the American population and don't cause enough damage to get people's attention. It would be nice to know I have a disorder that is at least understood well enough to fight with chemicals.


----------



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

but this is consider a mild state of psychosis right if it is maybe antipsychotics should work and i don,t know if it is is just me but i really feel psychotic, and i really use to oppose allot against meds but if there is something that can help me i think i should try it.


----------



## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

lucid said:


> but this is consider a mild state of psychosis right if it is maybe antipsychotics should work and i don,t know if it is is just me but i really feel psychotic, and i really use to oppose allot against meds but if there is something that can help me i think i should try it.


Pretty sure it's not considered psychosis at all.


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

lucid said:


> but this is consider a mild state of psychosis right if it is maybe antipsychotics should work and i don,t know if it is is just me but i really feel psychotic, and i really use to oppose allot against meds but if there is something that can help me i think i should try it.


DPD is not a "mild state of psychosis." Psychosis is a complete break from reality characterized by delusions and hallucinations. In DP'd states reality testing remains intact. No matter how crazy you feel, you're not psychotic. Some antipsychotic medications alleviate symptoms of DP/DR because of their ability to suppress thoughts, but these medications are rarely prescribed.


----------



## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

egodeath said:


> lucid said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Anafranil's a good one for suppressing thoughts. I quit taking it and I'm back to having about 10 thought threads constantly. Doesn't seem to bother me though, maybe because at least they're happy thoughts now.


----------



## Guest (Apr 3, 2009)

Conjurus said:


> I'm back to having about 10 thought threads constantly. Doesn't seem to bother me though, maybe because at least they're happy thoughts now.


Same here, my minds always busy. Sometimes it's so busy I'll be thinking in my sleep about something to such a degree that it wakes me up. It's always been that way...when I was younger I had this weird ability, If I couldn't work something out, like homework, sometimes I would go to sleep deliberately thinking about the problem and then dream the answers/methods I needed, I'd then get up in the morning and do the homework before school. When you feel bad alot of thoughts feel like craziness...but when you feel good alot of thoughts make you feel more aware in a good way.


----------



## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Lucid fear of insanity is one of the number one symptoms of anxiety. So i would say you have some anxiety. I didnt think i had a serious anxiety disorder either until it was pointed out to me by a rather smart doctor who unfortunatly isint in my area anymore  . If you are going to try a med for anxiety i would say try clonazepam aka klonopin aka rivotril. It's worked for alot of people and killed my dp/dr and brain fog.

My dr and brain fog where the worst symptoms by far and after a little under a week on clonazepam it went away totally. It was like looking at the world through new eyes and it actually took some getting used to. It was weird not having dr and brain fog when id had it for most of my life. So ya id give it a shot and if that doesent work and you wanna give anotyher benzodiazepine a try i would recomend good old valium. It's got a really long half life and is thus less addictive then the ones with shorter half lives.

Also just because you don't have a symptom doesent mean you can't try a drug that treats that symptom to try and help your dp/dr. Lot's of people on here try lamotrigine (brand name lamictal) which is only approved as a anti-convulsant and for bipolar disorder. Most of the people who try it have neither of these illnesses yet it seems to work for dp/dr. It's the same deal with atypical anti-psychotics such as seroquel.

I doubt we will ever see a drug approved specifically for depersonalization since there are probably so many neurotransmitters that affect dp.

Also saome people can smoke cannabis after their dp/dr goes into remission. I am one of those people as i had no problem smoking it after it ent into complete remission. But cannabis didnt make it worse to begin with.


----------



## sjkdfjsdlf (Apr 8, 2008)

^comfortably numb, you seem like you're doing well, then? That's great to hear. Klonopin seems like the wonder drug for DP-ers..My friend takes it for anxiety, and says great things about it. I'm just wondering, when you're off the med do you feel worse, like you need it? Or does it have an impact when you haven't taken it for days? I just don't really want to take something everyday.. Oh, and I don't think I have DP right now.. I just went a few weeks with it pretty severe a while ago, so you could say I'm in and out of remission, though I don't want it to come back at all, but you know.. :?


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

katie02160 said:


> ^comfortably numb, you seem like you're doing well, then? That's great to hear. Klonopin seems like the wonder drug for DP-ers..My friend takes it for anxiety, and says great things about it. I'm just wondering, when you're off the med do you feel worse, like you need it? Or does it have an impact when you haven't taken it for days? I just don't really want to take something everyday.. Oh, and I don't think I have DP right now.. I just went a few weeks with it pretty severe a while ago, so you could say I'm in and out of remission, though I don't want it to come back at all, but you know.. :?


I take klonopin on an as needed basis and it helps a lot. And it works better when you haven't taken it for awhile.


----------



## sjkdfjsdlf (Apr 8, 2008)

^ Thanks, I'd like to try it.. I haven't been to my psychiatrist in ages but when I go back I'll ask about it.



lucid said:


> but this is consider a mild state of psychosis right if it is maybe antipsychotics should work and i don,t know if it is is just me but i really feel psychotic, and i really use to oppose allot against meds but if there is something that can help me i think i should try it.


I don't know, I think if we're well aware of what's going on it isn't psychosis. But, meds may help... To be safe, I'd try any SSRIs or benzos before antipsychotics. Have you tried any of those yet? Shoot for the safer ones before you go into that territory, I'd say. My dad who has taken anti-psychotics told me they made him feel kind of "mushy", which is probably much more brain fog, though I'm sure it varies person to person.


----------



## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

I'd also say to keep anti-psychotics as a last resort. You are getting into some more serious stuff if you go down that route. I was prescribed one once, but never took it and I am glad.

I'd exhaust every benzo and SSRI out there, and then even tricyclics and mood-stabilizers before going to anti-psychotics. It's just personal opinion, but I know that they can make matters worse for some people (they also help plenty as well, so I should never say never to anybody on here - and of course if anyone has psychosis its the route to go, but DPD is not psychosis).

I'm currently withdrawing from Benzos and going through mild hell as a result. I've had 4 straight days of brutal headaches, tremors, hot sweats, achy body, and extreme anxiety (like anxiety that feels like it could explode out from my stomach). Yet despite this, I don't have any regrets about being on Benzos - they are a very helpful class of drug to get people back on their feet and I know for some people Clonazepam in particular actually clears their brain fog and DP/DR. I'd go on them again if things got really ugly for me again.


----------



## sjkdfjsdlf (Apr 8, 2008)

I just took my first klonopin today, .25 mg, just to test the waters.. I felt a little disoriented but relaxed at first, and strangely also very motivated. I had lots of positive thoughts and when I decided to sleep, I had the most amazing LUCID DREAMS. Those I haven't really had to that extent since childhood. I'm not expecting or wanting this each time, but it was very enjoyable. and I feel a little groggy from the nap but I suppose it's normal considering the longer half life, etc. 

I'm not sure why some have said it gets rid of their brain fog though.. would it be possible to describe what the brain fog is to you? I feel quite foggy, yet good foggy.


----------



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

i think m gonna try some antipsychotics for the weird thoughts also klonopin i got to treat this one way or the other working out is helping but i got to mix it with medication to see what happens. i think it is a good idea, and i want to start smoking pot again when my dp gets better cause i did not get dp because the pot i got dp after taking 2 seroquels. you see i was a really down to earth guy so i hated medication i wont even took a aspirin. i used to smoke for everything anxiety nausea hung over headache,


----------



## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

lucid said:


> i think m gonna try some antipsychotics for the weird thoughts also klonopin i got to treat this one way or the other working out is helping but i got to mix it with medication to see what happens. i think it is a good idea, and i want to start smoking pot again when my dp gets better cause i did not get dp because the pot i got dp after taking 2 seroquels. you see i was a really down to earth guy so i hated medication i wont even took a aspirin. i used to smoke for everything anxiety nausea hung over headache,


Maybe antipsychotics are a bad idea if Seroquel (an atypical antipsychotic) is what caused your DP. And maybe smoking pot again when you recover would be a bad idea. Marijuana may not be what caused your DP, but it definitely screws with reality and could thus easily serve as a trigger to start your DP back up.


----------



## lucid (Jan 29, 2009)

well i just going to start taking medication and if i fully recover i will start smoking pot but not with regularity just from time to time just to proof myself that i can smoke pot without freaking out... :shock:


----------

