# What would you do?



## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I have been working part time at a small sandwich/soup cafe for about a year now. I'm at the point where I am comfortable with what I do and pretty much know how to handle everything. My boss is very annoying to work with and makes things stressful however it's an easy job and like I said I am comfortable in the environment. Next door to my cafe is another cafe, slightly bigger with a bar. I went in there to get lunch after getting off work yesterday and was offered a job working for them. I would be working twice the hours that I work now, which I don't know how well I would handle due to fatigue. I am comfortable with where I am working now however it would be nice to get some experience serving at a bigger place and also get some experience serving alcohol which may give me the opportunity to be a bar tender in the future. The experience couldn't hurt I feel. Also there is a gorgeous girl my age that works there who I've conversed with a few times.

I am not sure if I should stretch myself and take this job or stay where I feel comfortable. Pros are: more extensive experience, experience serving alcohol, twice the hours (pro and con), will look good on future resumes and of course the girl. Cons: I will have to relearn everything that has taken me a year to get comfortable with, also it's an unknown environment for all I know the boss could be worse than my current one, and of course it could and probably will cause more stress and make DP/DR worse.

Would you stretch yourself and take this job or stay where you are comfortable in your element?


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Honestly, I wouldn't risk it if I were you. But that is coming from my own personal experiences in the past 2 months. I was really stable, doing well living on my own, etc. I decided I wanted to work so I got this job, moved, took on 40 hours A week and being responsible for all of my own bills, etc and it totally came back to bite me in the butt. I backslid a lot in my recovery. I just had to quit my job, break the lease on my apartment, and move back in with my ex. Now I'm headed back to counseling and am in a pretty bad place as far as being stable.

But in all honesty, I guess it depends on what you feel that you are ready for. If you feel like working more would be positive go for it. If you doubt it, it's better not to risk it and end up really screwing yourself up.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

surfingisfun001 said:


> I have been working part time at a small sandwich/soup cafe for about a year now. I'm at the point where I am comfortable with what I do and pretty much know how to handle everything. My boss is very annoying to work with and makes things stressful however it's an easy job and like I said I am comfortable in the environment. Next door to my cafe is another cafe, slightly bigger with a bar. I went in there to get lunch after getting off work yesterday and was offered a job working for them. I would be working twice the hours that I work now, which I don't know how well I would handle due to fatigue. I am comfortable with where I am working now however it would be nice to get some experience serving at a bigger place and also get some experience serving alcohol which may give me the opportunity to be a bar tender in the future. The experience couldn't hurt I feel. Also there is a gorgeous girl my age that works there who I've conversed with a few times.
> 
> I am not sure if I should stretch myself and take this job or stay where I feel comfortable. Pros are: more extensive experience, experience serving alcohol, twice the hours (pro and con), will look good on future resumes and of course the girl. Cons: I will have to relearn everything that has taken me a year to get comfortable with, also it's an unknown environment for all I know the boss could be worse than my current one, and of course it could and probably will cause more stress and make DP/DR worse.
> 
> Would you stretch yourself and take this job or stay where you are comfortable in your element?


I would be very careful about doubling your hours. If you are going to do it, increase your hours incrementally (in steps) and see how you go. Don't want to crash and burn from sudden overload.

As far as working with the girl - it is like traveling for business. It sounds glamorous but in reality you don't have time to enjoy the places you visit. You might learn things about her (if you are not infatuated) but to really enjoy a relationship would be outside of work.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Yeah I have been leaning towards staying where I'm at as well. If I didn't have this mental condition then I would take it in a heartbeat, but I do and that's that.


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

I am in the same boat as you,

For me what ive realized across the years, is that whenever I am in one place for a long time, I get restless, edgy and trapped. Theres also the extra responsibility that comes with working someplace for a long time - one would hope or hope not. Im always trying to find ways to escape.

I would research the other job more, ask who youre supervisor would be. Youre boss is already an asshole, so anything other than him sounds like an upgrade.

What is the pay at this new place? A friend of mine who graduated along with me, made as much money working in a cafe/bar in south beach as I did working a 9-6 desk job.

If you wish to stay in the F&B field of work, then taking this option would work best.

Oh, and about the girl. Keep it cordial! you wouldnt want to shit where you eat

I hope i didnt screw with your mind especially that you seem to have made your decision.


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## Ayato (Jul 1, 2006)

S O L A R I S said:


> I am in the same boat as you,
> 
> For me what ive realized across the years, is that whenever I am in one place for a long time, I get restless, edgy and trapped. Theres also the extra responsibility that comes with working someplace for a long time - one would hope or hope not. Im always trying to find ways to escape.


 This is totally me. I can't last for more than a year before wanting to quit my job, pack up move somewhere else, etc. Lost a lot of friends that way. Right now I'm already planning another escape, this time to california. Can't help myself.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Ayato said:


> This is totally me. I can't last for more than a year before wanting to quit my job, pack up move somewhere else, etc. Lost a lot of friends that way. Right now I'm already planning another escape, this time to california. Can't help myself.


Lots of people are like that. And when your young with only the responsibility of taking care of yourself, you can travel to different places a learn new things.

Atlanta to California will be a big difference. The more you learn about different places and peoples, the broader your understanding of reality can become - even if you can't feel it.


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

Ayato said:


> This is totally me. I can't last for more than a year before wanting to quit my job, pack up move somewhere else, etc. Lost a lot of friends that way. Right now I'm already planning another escape, this time to california. Can't help myself.


Oh man, im a serial re-inventor. if it was up to me, id change my name, my identity, my looks every so often and go live in different places. i like to escape although i realize that alot of times i need to man up suck it up and focus on one job one career....etc


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