# New Here, 6 months in. Drug induced DP



## Pmz623

Almost 6 months ago, I got a drug induced DP/DR.

I had a weekend of molly and ketamine which blew my brain up.

Ive been experiencing almost every symptom, including panic/anxiety, memory loss, insomnia, bad concentration, no/numbed emotions, visual problems, trouble reading, feel stupid, you name it.

I got this from a large dose of the drugs I did over the weekend unfortunately.

It didnt kick in until 2 days later when I went to work and had to do a project and realized Im having a hard time concentrating. This is when I had an anxiety attack, and my anxiety got worse and worse throughout the week, until what I was feeling was the full blown DP. I dont think it hit immediately after the drug night.

I feel like Im finally getting a bit better now to be honest. The feeling of utter heart ache Ive experienced in my chest that I had for the longest time is now gone for the last 3 weeks or so. (this was one of the worst parts) My moods are much better, I can socialize in public now (socializing makes me feel better actually), I can finally enjoy listening to music again(though it still not the same), I even think my memory is improving, and I can actually sleep nearly normal now, and my head pressure headaches are gone, I even got my sex drive back finally.

I always had a great life before this, as Ive read this often come up from past issues in life. This wasnt the care for me. It was a drug overdose that caused this

When this thing went down, I had no idea what to do with my life, I was in complete and utter panic. I lost my job, my GF, had no idea how to socialize with friends. After long talks, me and parents decided it was a good idea to go to Wilderness Therapy. I was in the wilderness for the past 11 weeks and just returned home today.

The psychiatrist at the wilderness program put me on .25mg Risperidol (Risperidone) He told me its a dopamine issue and this drug will help me. Well since the drug, I havent gotten worse, in fact better. Not sure if the drug is actually helping or not, or if its just me, but I seem to be getting slowly better. Its still a total head fuck what Im going through.

What are peoples experience with drug induced DP/DR in relation to a situation induced DP/DR?

I think my overdose just messed with my brain a lot and caused this issue and hoping things level out soon in my head and my DP will dissolve as a result

How does DP go away? Does it slowly and gradually fade away? I feel like Im slowly feeling better emotions but Its so hard to tell, yet not bodily emotion sensation are back yet.

My emotional response to music to nothing like it used to be. Am Im a huge music fanatic.

I also feel like this is symptoms of both a drug overdose and DP happening at once, or maybe this entire experience is all DP, I have no idea. I just want this to end already.

the fact that it might be a drug induced DP I kind of thing is a good thing for me. Because I never had past problems in life, I think once my brain repairs it self I should be back to normal again.


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## Pmz623

Selig said:


> Welcome to the site!
> 
> The drug overdose did not simply create a disorder out of thin air, it brought to surface a predisposition that you had to it. It is not normal to be caught in a cycle of something that an ordinary person would not be affected by or would only experience momentarily. The question is, why were you predisposed? Many people can do what you do and be perfectly fine afterwards. I implore you to look deeper into your life and childhood, so many people think they had a perfectly normal one, only to find out it wasn't what it seemed.
> 
> There's a few links below you can check out.


 The only thing I can say I was very stressed from work. And when this happened it made me unable to function at my job causing me to freak out. Other than that. My childhood and life was happy

I'll check out the links thanks a lot


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## Pmz623

I think it was a symptom of intense anxiety I got from my OD. I should not be fucking with drugs anymore. I was messing my my brain chemicals and all. Either way. I'm just doing what I can to get out of this. My anxiety is nearly gone so I'm happy about that.


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## Pmz623

Thanks. Almost 6 months of this shit. I'm getting so frustrated. I went out to a club last night and was able to dance and enjoy talking to people. I tried this in my second month and way way too overwhelmed and had to leave. To I'm thinking its a good sign. It was still very off though. I didn't feel the music as much as I'm used to when I go out to clubs. The music sounded good but didn't strike a chord in my like I know it has the ability to. But I still pushed through and had a decent time. I'm optimistic in the next 2 months for an even better recovery.

Is a deep empty chest pain a symptom of DP?


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## Pmz623

Xanax ever help?


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## googleeyes

Selig said:


> There's still something underneath the depersonalization that needs to be explored, it's a symptom. I hope you find some answers here.


I know Selig means the best and he is probably one of the most helpful member on dpsh. But, I still feel compelled to give my opposing view on this issue. I think that a bad drug reaction leading to panic attacks is enough in itself to create and perpetuate dp. I also think that acknowledging this connection and understanding you have a tendency to disassociate is enough. I don't think realizing that your dad was emotionally distant from you is pivotal in recovery.


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## Pmz623

googleeyes said:


> I know Selig means the best and he is probably one of the most helpful member on dpsh. But, I still feel compelled to give my opposing view on this issue. I think that a bad drug reaction leading to panic attacks is enough in itself to create and perpetuate dp. I also think that acknowledging this connection and understanding you have a tendency to disassociate is enough. I don't think realizing that your dad was emotionally distant from you is pivotal in recovery.


 I completely agree. I have a great family dynamic good friends all my life, had the childhood teasing like every kid has had. But in all honestly. I can truthfully say it not a childhood issue. I've come to find out that I have been prone to anxiety all my life. But it's just because I had ADHD and had anxiety to move and be active. The type of personality anxiety I would imagine that whould trigger this would be more of a fearful anxiety (GAD). This was never me.

The drug absolutely caused this


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## Pmz623

Anyone else here with drug induced DP?


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## Palestiniiian

i have dr



pomz623 said:


> Anyone else here with drug induced DP?


i have Benzodiazepine(Xanax) Overdose DP-DR


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## Juan

Prolonged depersonalization is because you are continually thinking about what is. When you think about what is, then you get more of what is. When you think and imagine how you wish to feel, then that becomes the reality that your mind begins to move toward. The deeper mind is a powerful tool to your life, and it is the part of which you cannot comprehend the full potential of what it does. There is no drug cure to depersonalization, but a simple switch in the nature of your thoughts, feelings, and imagination.


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## Swansea

Yeah mine is from mdma overdose. I wrote about what happened to me and the steps I am taking to get out of dp/dr in an email correspondence so I will just copy and past it here.

I took MDMA March 1st so almost 7 months ago. I took it with some friends after I had been drinking and wasn't told that it was such a large dose. The friend that made the doses claims he didnt mean to make such a large dose. But, I think he got carried away in his intent to get himself and everyone else around him extremely 'fucked up'. (sorry for the language). I have taken mdma in the past only 3 previous times. I'm not a drug user I have experimented just a bit. But, this particular mdma experience was a lot different. I remember coming up extremely quickly within 10 minutes. All of a sudden my eyes were twitching so much I could barely see or walk. My teeth were chattering like crazy. The whole experience lasted probably around 4 hours and I don't really remember much of anything (neither does the 3 friends we were with). After about the 4th hour we all became more lucid but our short term memory was extremely impaired. Someone would be talking and forget what they were saying half-way through the sentence. This kept happening to me it was like I could not follow my train of thought. The next day I felt awful completely brain dead. My hearing kept going in and out. Which was very odd. I could barely walk and kept feeling like I was going to faint. The next week I still felt extremely hungover. I kept having muscle twitching really bad when I was trying to fall asleep. After about 3 weeks I started trying to get it together. i got a new job in the beginning of April. I felt better but something still just felt totally off (just beneath the surface). I stopped drinking so I wasn't being very social and was mainly working and going to school. Then all of a sudden in the middle of May I started not being able to sleep. I just could not turn my mind off. I went into work and had a panic attack and afterwords that is when the complete DP/DR started happening. Felt like I was in a dream etc. The next couple of weeks I had panic attack after panic attack I was unable to leave my room or bed because I was in a complete state of anxiety and fear. I thought i was losing my mind. Now the anxiety has gone down quite a bit but I still have terrible DP/DR and some depression.

Before the mdma i have struggled with depression and anxiety and brief episodes of dp/dr which at the time i just called it brain fog. It would happen when I would go somewhere that was extremely stimulating like going to a grocery store I would space out.


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All of the things i am doing to try to heal are.

1. Sobriety since April 11th (so 5 months)

2. Running 3x a week for 4 miles and Bikram yoga 3x a week

3. meditation for 15 min. morning and evening.

4. No gluten and eat all organic food. Also eat alot of fermented food like kefir

5. Progressive muscle relaxation exercises

6. Maintain regular sleeping schedule

7. Supplements: spirulina, kelp, chlorella, zinc, magnesium, multi-vitmain, b-complex, d3, ashwagandah, protein powder, chia seeds, high dose fish oil, b12, and blue green algae.

8. I also take a homeopathic remedy reccomended by a homeopath

9. ssri (lexapro 5 mg)

10. therapy

It has been almost 7 months and am just now starting to come out of the fog


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## googleeyes

Swansea said:


> 9. ssri (lexapro 5 mg)
> 
> It has been almost 7 months and am just now starting to come out of the fog


This is a very low dose of lexepro, are you titrating up or coming off by any chance? I'm just curious as IIRC this is below a therapeutic dose.

It's funny that your story is nearly identical to mine. Except that I felt like complete shit right from the get go


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## Swansea

googleeyes said:


> This is a very low dose of lexepro, are you titrating up or coming off by any chance? I'm just curious as IIRC this is below a therapeutic dose.
> 
> It's funny that your story is nearly identical to mine. Except that I felt like complete shit right from the get go


Hey Googleyes, i am actually not even on lexapro (yet) Getting prescribed it tomorrow. I was just kind of trying to write down all the things I am doing/ or about to do to help get out of this. I am super sensitive to meds so will be starting off at only 5 mg. Identical to your story? When was your mdma experience? What are the negative side effects you have experienced and for how long? My main issue right now in my opinion is my social isolation. To which i think I am going to check myself into outpatient just so i have a structure with therapy and group therapy for a while until I can better integrate myself into life.


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## googleeyes

Swansea said:


> Hey Googleyes, i am actually not even on lexapro (yet) Getting prescribed it tomorrow. I was just kind of trying to write down all the things I am doing/ or about to do to help get out of this. I am super sensitive to meds so will be starting off at only 5 mg. Identical to your story? When was your mdma experience? What are the negative side effects you have experienced and for how long? My main issue right now in my opinion is my social isolation. To which i think I am going to check myself into outpatient just so i have a structure with therapy and group therapy for a while until I can better integrate myself into life.


Ah, well good luck with lexepro. After making it up to 15mg, I definitely had greatly reduced anxiety.

My mdma experience was in 2008 and was the tipping point for all of this. There are a lot of similarities between our symptoms and our method of treatment. do you mean my negative side effects from mdma or from lexepro?

I also had a period around 1 year in which I felt so cut off from everything, and everyone, that the loneliness and isolation grew to be too much to bare. I think the combination of lexepro and me stopping the fear, really helped me integrate back into my life and move on.

As for now, I have chronic dizziness and vision issues. It's beginning to look like something a little more sinister than dp and anxiety so my diagnosis and treatment is changing


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## Pmz623

googleeyes said:


> Ah, well good luck with lexepro. After making it up to 15mg, I definitely had greatly reduced anxiety.
> 
> My mdma experience was in 2008 and was the tipping point for all of this. There are a lot of similarities between our symptoms and our method of treatment. do you mean my negative side effects from mdma or from lexepro?
> 
> I also had a period around 1 year in which I felt so cut off from everything, and everyone, that the loneliness and isolation grew to be too much to bare. I think the combination of lexepro and me stopping the fear, really helped me integrate back into my life and move on.
> 
> As for now, I have chronic dizziness and vision issues. It's beginning to look like something a little more sinister than dp and anxiety so my diagnosis and treatment is changing


you at least happier?


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## Jurgen

googleeyes said:


> I know Selig means the best and he is probably one of the most helpful member on dpsh. But, I still feel compelled to give my opposing view on this issue. I think that a bad drug reaction leading to panic attacks is enough in itself to create and perpetuate dp. I also think that acknowledging this connection and understanding you have a tendency to disassociate is enough. I don't think realizing that your dad was emotionally distant from you is pivotal in recovery.


I respectfully disagree with this. Attachment style formed at a young age molds the subconscious in a such a way that if it detects its own perceived threats based on the persons attachment style and history which has molded this persons subconscious, it will perpetuate DP until the person subconsciously is able to feel at peace by disassociating from DP symptoms.


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## live1light

Mine was because i did lsd 2 months ago, hope i recover soon because these existential thoughts are killing me. :/


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## Pmz623

live1light said:


> Mine was because i did lsd 2 months ago, hope i recover soon because these existential thoughts are killing me. :/


was that your first time on LSD?


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## live1light

yes it was my first time, but it was no where near a bad trip. Actually it was beautiful. It was just that i had an anxiety attack a week after and that's when it all started. Sucks.


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## Pmz623

live1light said:


> yes it was my first time, but it was no where near a bad trip. Actually it was beautiful. It was just that i had an anxiety attack a week after and that's when it all started. Sucks.


 thats crazy, a week after? was the anxiety attack from something about your trip?


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## live1light

It had nothing to do with the lsd, just that it triggered a tightness in my chest and i started stressing about it. I thought i was going to have a heart attack and i hadn't slept for 3 days straight. Then more stress came because i had my first day back to school and i was cramping and oh lord just so much. Lol but i'm good now, about 90%  why do you have dp?


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## Pmz623

live1light said:


> It had nothing to do with the lsd, just that it triggered a tightness in my chest and i started stressing about it. I thought i was going to have a heart attack and i hadn't slept for 3 days straight. Then more stress came because i had my first day back to school and i was cramping and oh lord just so much. Lol but i'm good now, about 90% :smile: why do you have dp?


 oh man. def is ot the trypical DP then. Yeah I dot this annoying Dp shit. Its almost gone. Like 80% out. ur lucky to have it out so fast.


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## live1light

80%? you should feel happy!!! We'll get out of it don't worry. We just need to have the right mindset and socialize.  How long have you had yours? I'm giving it another month, make 3 because i still feel spacey, like i'm not living in the present. It's scary :/ What's keeping you from recovering?


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## Pmz623

Sorta of the same. Feel very spicy amd y head feels slow. As well as a lot of lethargy and low energy and excitement


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## Pmz623

Its been 6.5 months btw.


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## Jayke

yeaaah i think i've just discovered today that what im feeling is dp/dr

having about a year and a half ago first experienced symptoms, after a drug fuelled music festival.

im new to this site - and the realisation - fuck me its scaryyy

i hope for you an me that one day, music again will sound sooo sweeet

peace and love x


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## Pmz623

Its getting better. Music is starting to really be enjoyable again. You just have to imagine you have no previous experience with music and simple enjoy the tiny bit of happiness that music does give you. I think it will improve over time


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## missjess

I think drugs should be looked at as an actual cause of this disorder ...many ppl have more sensitive nervous systems then others so it's highly likely anyone can get this shit from drug abuse...bad childhood or good childhood


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## missjess

Fearless said:


> This is when someone is consciously choosing to fool herself.
> 
> You shouldn't read my blog, it only makes it harder for you to maintain your illusions.


I don't have illusions but there are many different causes for dp disorder


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## dropper_00

Hi I'm new to this side just seen this thread and thought I would comment. I've got drug induced dpdr and severe anxiety caused by a big night on mdma and amphetamines. Started about a week after the comedown. It's now been three months. The doc has me on olanzapine 2.5mg. Struggling pretty bad with dissociation any advice would be great ????


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