# I don't know it any more, after 10 years dp/dr.



## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hello everybody,

So, let me introduce myself. I'm a 36 years old lady (born in 1979) from the Netherlands. I hope my English is good to read  .

Let me tell my story. I hope it is not to long.

In my childhood I have social anxiety, but I don't know why... I have anxiety to go to the café (the bar), etc.

In 2004 I get dp/dr and it became chronic. In the period 2004-2008 I am going to different psychologists for CBT and I get a lot of pills. Pills like anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and pills like xanax.

But it all doesn't work  . Then in 2008 all the psychologists told me that they couldn't help me any more  .

Then in 2008 I was going back to my doctor and he told me I have a B12 deficiency. So in 2008 I get B12 injections, but it doesn't work  .

From 2008-2012 I get no therapie, because I was thinking it was the B12.

In 2012 I was going to a psychologist and he told me I have Asperger (ASS) and my social anxiety comes from the Asperger diagnose.

So after 10 years this psychologist told me what I have and he was right. But this psychologist cannot help me any more, strange...

So this is what I have, a summary:

Asperger --> a lot of isolation of myself, because of social anxiety. --> In 2004 chronic dp/dr, because the isolation is a kind of 'trauma' for me. --> I get depressed of the dp/dr feelings --> Now it is 2015 and I still have chronic dp/dr...

So, now I have find this forum and I need some help. I am afraid that the dp/dr will not go away. I don't know what I have to do, to recover from this stupid disorder.

My psychologist say to me: 'You must not think about it..'

How can I not think about it, after 10 years dp/dr ???

I read on this forum that you must accept this... But how can I accept this stupid feelings... :wacko:  ???

I don't know it any more  . HELP !
Thanks !

Kind regards and greetings from the Netherlands,

little star.


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## Mar1982 (Feb 14, 2013)

There are many many people who have recovered. There are certain medications that can help for some people, also there are lots of tips that have helped people to feel better. First of all, you are not alone! There is a lot of support on here. Talk to Selig. He is very nice and helpful.


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hey Mar1982,

Thanks al lot for your message !

It feels good to read your message !



> also there are lots of tips that have helped people to feel better.


Thanks ! Hopefully I will find some tips on this forum, for example how I can accept this. This is so difficult for me.

On this forum, they said that you first must accept this, before you can recover. But I don't know how ???



> First of all, you are not alone! There is a lot of support on here.


It feels good to read this forum, so that I know I am not alone whit this disorder.



> Talk to Selig. He is very nice and helpful.


Thanks a lot for this tip !!!

Greetings !


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hello everyone,

I have a question:

- How can I accept this unreal feeling ?

Because every day I fight against this unreal feeling, I think.

I don't want to have this unreal feeling.

I am so unhappy at this moment, because of the unreal feeling...

Greetings !


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## 35467 (Dec 31, 2010)

I don´t think it Aspergers. It is the social anxiety thing, the OCD self-obsession and the shot-down of the brain with dissociation the makes the resembles Aspergers.

Try this 




or this http://anxietynomore.co.uk


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hey Mayer-Gross,

Thank you so much for your help and support !

I am very happy with the support here of another sufferers of dp.

I have seen the youtube film. So what I have to do is:

- Forget about the past and try to live now. But that is diificult, because I have troubles with time-perception. I don't have the feeling that 'I have live now'.

- Not to think about the dream-living state you are in, but try to say the names of the things you are seeing around you. For example: you see a chair and you say to yourself: this is a chair. Something like this ???

So you must try to attention on the outside world.

And yes, I also think it is my social anxiety. Sometimes I feel a little bit unsure when I am with other people...

Thanks a lot for the website 'anxietynomore' !!!

And another difficult thing is that I have fear of the unreal feeling... I think I am 'in the anxiety-circle' ... This is so a hard thing...

Greetings !


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## AylaStar (Jan 4, 2015)

Hi Little Star!

Welcome. You've come to the right place. I too have the whole time perception issue and share a lot of the same symptoms you've described. What I suggest is to use this site as a tool. For me, I didn't know what I had. For around 20 years I have suffered on and off, sometimes intensely, sometimes functioning. It wasn't until I had this last episode of intense panic that I was willing to do some research. For me I had to come to believe that other people actually did have the same thing I did. I was obsessed with reading the forums on symptoms and peoples experience with DP/DR. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. Once I could take for granted that other people actually DID feel like me and have the same scary, debilitating experiences I started focusing on the recovery stories. I highly recommend it. There are so many resources to draw on these days. It's hard to think that after suffering from something so long there actually could be an end in sight. But there is! Try to find some optimism. It sounds like you're on the right track.

Let me know if you need anything.


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hey WillWin,

Thanks a lot for your message. It feels good to 'talk' (write things down) here, to feel not alone with this stupid disorder.



> I too have the whole time perception issue


It is a scary thing, isn't it ? It feels so crazy, like you are not alive... :wacko: , like you are not here on earth...



> and share a lot of the same symptoms you've described.


Ah, oke. But that is not so funny, hey. But that means that you will understand me what I feel.

On this moment I am so looking for a solution for this kind of shit (sorry for the word). I don't know how to practice myself not to think about it ?

And how can I accept this ? They say that you first must accept it, before you can recover... fine... :wacko: .



> What I suggest is to use this site as a tool.


Yes, here on this forum is a lot of information about this disorder.



> For me, I didn't know what I had. For around 20 years I have suffered on and off, sometimes intensely, sometimes functioning. It wasn't until I had this last episode of intense panic that I was willing to do some research.


Oooo, my god, 20 years ! That's a long time. And you didn't know what you have...

I must say, I have the same story. So, I live 10 years with dp/dr and for me that's also a long time. So, I can not imagine that I have to live another 10 years with dp/dr  . But after 10 years a psychologist explains me what I have. After 10 years !!!



> It made me feel like I wasn't alone.


Yes, it is. It feels 'good' to read you can recover.



> debilitating experiences I started focusing on the recovery stories. I highly recommend it.


Ooooo, I read the wrong stories here  , I forgot the recovery stories, hihi. Maybe it is better to read the recovery stories after 10 years dp/dr...

But do you know how you can recover ? I don't know how I can do it... ???



> It's hard to think that after suffering from something so long there actually could be an end in sight.


Yes, it is soooo true what you say. It is sooooo difficult for me to think positive... :wacko: .



> But there is! Try to find some optimism.


I really hope so !!! And I think I must learn to think positive, but that is easy to say.



> It sounds like you're on the right track.


Thanks !!! But I have to research here on the forum how I can recover...

Jeee, not think about it... so that is not so easy after 10 years chronic dp/dr :wacko: .

The dp is sooooo scary feeling, I think I have to learn not to be afraid of the unreal feeling... So.... that is difficult :wacko: .



> Let me know if you need anything.


Thanks a lot :wub: !!!!!!!

I think the most difficult things for me are the following:

1. Not to be afraid of the unreal feeling. For me it is so difficult to stay busy, when I have this unreal feeling. Sometimes I want to stay in my bed, because of the unreal feeling... But I know that is not so good thing.

2. Not to think about the unreal feeling. Is it possible after 10 years ? And for you 20 years... That must be heavy for you... :wacko: .

3. Not to be afraid when I am with other people. Sometimes I am a little bit unsure...

4. Accept it... How can I accept it ??? Must you accept the unreal feeling or 'the cause of the dp/dr' ???

Thanks !!!

Greetings from the Netherlands.


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## AylaStar (Jan 4, 2015)

Everything in our minds and bodies thinks that if we "accept" it we are condoning it somehow and, even worse, that it might get even worse! Or push us over the edge. I know my DP/DR started with a lot of fear that I was going crazy. If I OK'd it somehow I was afraid that I may never "come back" or get stuck. It has since transformed to physical medical anxiety and back to mental.

But it was in the thick of an intense episode that I finally found an interesting way to get the power back. When I was freaking the f*%k out I closed my eyes (which is hard to do when I'm having the anxiety/alien feelings) I took some deep, slow breaths (which is also triggering sometimes) and I switched my thinking. I started paying attention to what was going on inside my body. I imagined the anxiety and the horrible thoughts and feelings coursing up and down my body like a ball of energy. I really felt the waves come up and down inside me, vibrating and reverberating through out my entire being. Then, as I felt that TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY (still not accepting it, but TRYING to feel it as much as possible) I focused on it and looked at it as an energy. Not an unwanted energy, just something that was there that my body and mind were experiencing. I tried looking at it from a view of just recognizing that it was there and my body was feeling these horrible sensations. Then I told myself 5 important words, "My body can handle it".

I began to recognize that no matter how bad and intense the feelings were, that they weren't able to shoot out of me or actually do any damage. At this point, I did the scariest thing imaginable, I asked it to get bigger. I told the feelings to grow and try to be stronger. And a funny thing happened. It couldn't The moment I was ready to embrace an even bigger wave of feeling was the moment I realized that it already was giving me it's best. It was already trying as hard as it could and it couldn't get worse. In asking for more, I took the power back. Kind of how when you stop letting a bully effect you. Not being able to actually get "bigger" it gets confused and doesn't know how else to hurt.

There is a video on YouTube that taught me this technique. I've been using it when I get real bad anxiety, which has been less and less since I've started this practice. I still have anxiety and DP/DR, but it was through the depths of the pain from it that I was able to make a breakthrough. I was having an episode and I faced it head-on for the first time. I actually FELT myself working through something. This and a few other recent experiences has really helped me with my optimism. It's funny, because I am going through the HARDEST most effed up episode, but I have more hope than I've ever felt.

I know now, from this experience that there IS a way to work through stuff. Before, I always wanted to but didn't know how. Like with most things we have to hit a bottom and then become open-minded and willing. So many people say "yeah, but..." instead of taking suggestion. We are all in this together and all we can do is share our experiences and hope that since they worked for us, someone can absorb and apply them wholeheartedly and have a similar experience. I'll look for the link to the Anxiety Attack relief thing I mentioned.

Don't worry about the acceptance yet, that will come, just focus on the actions. Eating right, sleeping well, surrounding yourself with healthy, good people, refraining from drugs/alcohol, and finding support/therapy. When it hits you hard, instead of reacting, try sitting with it. Get still and allow yourself to feel the horrible, painful feelings. You will be surprised with how strong you are and what your body and mind can handle. No permanent damage is being done. You are recovering.


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## AylaStar (Jan 4, 2015)

Here's the link. It didn't work for me the first time actually. I can be very skeptical, especially when there's something that seems too simple to help my very big problem. It wasn't until the next morning when I woke up with an anxiety attack that I remembered what it said and tried it. When it worked I looked it back up and re-watched it and got more out of it. Remember, simple doesn't mean easy.


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## AylaStar (Jan 4, 2015)

I should explain that I believe DP/DR to be a (HUGE, debilitating, all encompassing, intense, and dysfunctional) symptom of anxiety/PTSD. Hence why we need to feel our way through these feelings instead of just pushing them away, which, in effect, is what DP/DR is trying to do for us. Also, if you are not in a safe place where you feel like you can do this, distract, distract, distract.

Do not focus or feed the negative thoughts or even try to explore them. Part of our healing process is to change our perceptions AND how we think. The more we ruminate on DP/DR the more the chemicals in our heads think that that is how we want to deal with them. We have to consciously motivate ourselves to focus on something else (something positive hopefully) like video games, a book, music, movies, a conversation with someone, the internet, the chat room here, ANYTHING.

Keep in mind we are NOT trying to push the negative thoughts away. That never works. Just start thinking about something else and they automatically dissipate on their own. Trying to control them or make them disappear gives them more power than they're worth and leads nowhere but to pain and focusing on them even more. Everything in us is hard-wired to wanting to stay focused on them. EVERYTHING tells us that we can't focus on something else, but we CAN. And each time we do it becomes easier and easier. Each time we practice this we are retraining our minds. There is a time and a place to access the negative and we must do so, but in a safe, positive way.

Let me know how it works for you! We can practice this together.


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hey AylaStar,

First of all, sorry that I was a litte bit late with my response. But I have some depressed days, because of the unreal feelings.

And thank you so much for your long explanation !!!

Hihi, you have changed your name from Willwin into AylaStar. That's a nice name.



> I began to recognize that no matter how bad and intense the feelings were, that they weren't able to shoot out of me or actually do any damage.


Yes, I know it is true. The feelings doesn't any damage. But I am often so tired, because of the unreal feeling...



> I still have anxiety and DP/DR, but it was through the depths of the pain from it that I was able to make a breakthrough. I was having an episode and I faced it head-on for the first time. I actually FELT myself working through something.


Wooow, that is clever of you...



> I know now, from this experience that there IS a way to work through stuff. Before, I always wanted to but didn't know how.


So I am... I am also researching how to beat this unreal feeling / anxiety ....



> Like with most things we have to hit a bottom and then become open-minded and willing.


You have said that right  .



> Don't worry about the acceptance yet, that will come, just focus on the actions.


Oké, but sometimes I doubt if distractions helps me in the future not to feeling unreal.



> When it hits you hard, instead of reacting, try sitting with it. Get still and allow yourself to feel the horrible, painful feelings. You will be surprised with how strong you are and what your body and mind can handle.


Okeeeeeee.... So, the best thing I can do is sitting down and let the fear comes over me...

Thanks a lot for the video !!!

So you must travel through the anxiety to be fully free of it... So you must trying to letting be the anxiety over you... And you demand for more anxiety.... It sounds a little bit strange...

But when you don't beating the fear, the fear will decrease... Something like this ???



> I should explain that I believe DP/DR to be a (HUGE, debilitating, all encompassing, intense, and dysfunctional) symptom of anxiety/PTSD.


Yes, I understand. After a lot of years I know that this unreal feeling is a symptom of anxiety or a trauma.



> Do not focus or feed the negative thoughts or even try to explore them.


I also have to learn to think positive... I have a lot of negative thoughts...  .



> Part of our healing process is to change our perceptions AND how we think.


Sooo, yeah, but it is so difficult to change our mind about depersonalisation. I have tried a lot of therapies, but it doesn't help...

I hope I can learn from you  .



> We have to consciously motivate ourselves to focus on something else (something positive hopefully) like video games, a book, music, movies, a conversation with someone, the internet, the chat room here, ANYTHING.


When I am trying to distract myself, the depersonalisation is still there...  ... So, this is so difficult for me, to believe in this distraction. But maybe I have still social anxiety and therefore I have still depersonalisation... ???

Now I am playing Candy Crush, hihi. Maybe this will help with the distraction, hihi.

You said: "Keep in mind we are NOT trying to push the negative thoughts away. That never works."

Oke, I understand. It is strange, but a psychologist said to me, that when I am trying NOT tho think about a pink elephant... you must THINK about a pink elephant. So, thus you must not try, not to think about depersonalisation / negative thoughts.

Yes, I understand. It feels impossible to focus on something else with the depersonalisation.

When I am thinking, that I think of something else, I still have depersonalisation... Can you still follow me    ?

It is so difficult to trying thinking of something else, when I am thinking it doesn't work to get out of the depersonalisation... :wacko: .

I hope you can support me  .

Thanks a lot !!!

Greeting from little star, from The Netherlands.


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## AylaStar (Jan 4, 2015)

Hey Little Star,

I understand. The best way I can explain it it by comparing it to something else.

When you decide you want to become a bodybuilder you do many things. You change your way of eating, you take supplements that aid in building muscle, you work out and you change what you spend your time doing because your routine will now include spending more hours at the gym. It also usually means you change the people you spend time with. From your sleeping pattern to even your bowel movements, you become a different person. 
Muscle building is what I compare the thought/perception change to. The scrawny person goes into the gym the first day. Lifts a couple pounds for a short period of time and gets exhausted. Looking over they see other people laughing and lifting and running on the treadmill for an hour without breaking a sweat and they feel discouraged.

So many DPeople do this and then stop here. They say "I tried". Well, we have to exercise our minds. The first way to do it, that first 5 pounds is really believing in the possibility that we WILL recover. That is our foundation. Without a solid foundation even the biggest building will fail, so we have to really throw in whatever faith or hope we can muster (and it's hard) into understanding in our soul that WE CAN RECOVER. And we can! This comes easily to some while others have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired and hit that bottom before they can even entertain the idea that it might actually work. So many people think that things wont work for them so they either don't try or they "go to the gym" once or twice. Maybe they go to the gym but they don't change their environment and stay stuck in the place their DP/DR feeds off of, or maybe there is some other aspect they are unable or unwilling to look at.

Maybe their path is to stay stuck in DP/DR for some other reason, but honestly I KNOW most of these people do it because they are fearful or feel what I call "terminally unique" or are just plain comfortable with what they know. Comfort in the chaos. Ultimately, despite all protestations, it is serving them somehow. You will see many people complain about DP/DR but find that they have done 0 research, have contempt or are snotty about other people's recovery "That's good that worked FOR YOU..." and have every excuse in the world to say "yeah, but..." or "It's different for me..." I know because not only have I done it. But I am CURRENTLY doing it. I am pretty confident about my recovery plan and am implementing a lot of it, but there are things (like meeting new people and leaving the house everyday) that I am having a hard time even doing baby steps with. And that's okay! This is not an event, it's a process.

Which brings us back to the gym. When I first read in some book or article about "all you have to do is change your thinking...." I was pissed. IF I could do that I wouldn't be in this mess!!!! It sounded more like some person who never dealt with this trying to tell me what my problem was and how to fix it when the closest they could ever come to it was maybe waking up from a nightmare. Well, they woke up. They could shake it off. We all know that's not how DP/DR is.

BUT, we are NOT brain dead. Despite how strange and alien and gone we feel, we do know there is a little part of US still here. Even though we might not feel our bodies or really feel a connection to our loved ones, we know we want to. We know that something is wrong. We are not in a psychosis. I believe many (maybe not all) DPeople have the ability to access different levels of thought. This is what makes the intrusive thinking so powerful. It feels like it overwhelms and drowns us out. It's not hearing voices as much as it's our own voice being negative and reassuring us we are safe by scaring us. if that makes any sense.

So how do we calm those thoughts? I don't know about you, but I have ruminating thoughts at times that drive me nuts. Like when you get a song stuck in your head, or you find yourself randomly analyzing something to the last detail. These thoughts are VERY powerful and really feel like they are us. We relate and sometimes even welcome them IF they are serving a purpose. I HATE this thing and would rather be dumb (ignorance is bliss) but my extreme detail oriented and analytical mind has helped me with random things in life and in a way has fed my ego. But when they are stuck in a negative loop, and I want nothing more than to stop them, stop the fear and the pain I find they can get louder. Distraction does help. At first I would distract myself and try and push the fear away but then I would think, "why am I doing this thing, oh yeah to distract myself from this." and then it would hit me again. In waves of DP/DR I would try and focus on something and every 4 seconds I would feel the DP/DR again and I knew that it was there the whole time, but I kept at it anyway.

I am not a scientist. No way can I claim Neurosurgeon status, but the little bit I do know about brain chemistry and this disorder, whether I was given correct information or not, has helped me greatly. So people like us have the same, normal brain mechanisms as normal people. We have this thing called the "fight or flight" mode we snap into whenever we sense danger. This has the amygdala (fancy brain word) produce chemicals that cause our heart rates to go up. The chemical causes our senses to become keener and even our peripheral vision can change. When the fear subsides, normal people can resume and go back to functioning pre-disturbance and the chemicals in the brain go back to normal. We get stuck. Our fight or flight meter gets stuck on. And even if it goes back to normal, it might be more sensitive thus turning on for random things (triggers), After a while, our brain starts thinking that this is the normal way we should be functioning. So it produces more and more of these chemicals that cause us to feel fear and see things like visual snow and eventually our mind realize whats going on and just shuts down. It basically separates. And this is where the depersonalization and derealization comes in. I was SOOOO confused at how people could say DP/DR was an actual defense mechanism. I was like, 'no, if so I want a fucking defense mechanism against this defense mechanism!"

What this showed me know is that DP/DR actually IS a disorder that stems from anxiety. So, we work on the anxiety and it helps the DP/DR. Sounds simple right? But it's not easy. The kicker is that once we decide we want to work on this... We're going to need to feel it. There's a few reasons for this. One, for me, pain is an ultimate motivator. I can want something and want it BAD, but until the pain gets bad enough I can always convince myself that I can put it off. When I'm in pain I become willing. Second reason is very important, if we dont FEEL the anxiety it means we are either DP/DR'd or we're pushing it away. We not only need to feel the anxiety to work through it but ALSO to learn how to deal with it IN THE FUTURE. THIS is what I'm working on right now. I do not want to recover and get over the DP/DR and train the chemicals in my brain to function normally again so that the next time something happens (and it will, life on lifes terms ya'll) I snap right back into it. I need to learn how to process traumatic and stressful situations. THAT is the key to a sustained recovery.

Back to the gym. Those chemicals our brains are producing have become the norm for us. Those chemicals are what feed our thoughts. The WEIRD (and I think fascinating) thing about this is this is one of the ways we can truly see mind over matter. Monks do it, spiritual warriors, gurus and all kinds of random people have been able to meditate or even concentrate hard enough to change everything from their heart rate to body temperature. Like I said before. We are not braindead and we are not sociopaths. We DO have the ability, though its VERY hard at first to decide if we are going to feed a thought, or let it go. At first when we trying it it's like a small voice peeping and already defeated because these BIG scary thoughts have run amok for so long, but like those muscles, the more we go to the gym, the more we practice meditating or praying or thinking or asking ourselves to do something different, the stronger that muscle is going to get.

When I start freaking out and I play a video game, I have now ceased feeding in those negative chemicals and even if I don't feel them I have now started releasing new chemicals. Ones that produce focus and concentration and if I win even pleasure. It may not seem like much within the ocean of negative chemicals, but the more I do it, the more I have and the more I'm telling my brain, "No dude, I don't need any more epinephrine, no more adrenaline needed here." And though it has taken time and sometimes the neg's can be really loud. (Like I said, I'm no where NEAR being cured, just on the path) Though there are times where something stressful does happen a break up, a test failed, a death in the family, we can eventually train our brains how to healthily and effectively respond without having to go to panic, anxiety or DP/DR.

I kind of went off there... I hope it makes a little sense and there's so much more to what I have come up with for my recovery plan. Like I said in the beginning, it takes a change in almost all our perceptions and actions, but I hope this addresses the whole you cant push away thinking but you can change it. It's all about retraining those chemicals and getting beck to that "normal" state. We can't go back to normal if we're trying to control the not-normal. So don't push them aside, have them organically dissipate. Eventually, with the aide of a professional hopefully, is when you can access the root causes and work on them and then finally work on the change of response for future issues.

I said a disclaimer about not being a doctor but I will say this. Whatever works for you, grasp it. This works for me. I don't care if my science is off a bit, I am ALL about the placebo effect. Anything, short of self medicating with drugs, that relieves us of this disorder is worth trying. I am all about complete recovery though. If you're scared of "never being the same" the only remnant that I can see in the future would be similar to the muscle man remembering the discomfort from where he was before he took charge of his life. We will always feel different, but it will not be a NEGATIVE different. Just a spiritual scar that made us who were are supposed to be.

I might erase this or edit it later. I didn't proofread or anything, just let it flow. I've been wanting to do this for a while and might continue writing about my theories and recovery process aspects, but I really might want to reread first. Hahhaha. Hope it helps.


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## RichUK (Oct 6, 2011)

Hey Little Star

I see DR now as a really bad anxiety habbit. Acceptance is the key along with time i have had 4 episodes of DR in 20 yrs each lasting 2-4 months each time I recovered it went as quick as it came one minute I was DR'd and the next my anxiety must have dropped to just the right level and bang all gone. You really need to work on anxiety in my opinion its the key. The problem with drugs tat dr give you is they make you feel spaced out, i found when drugs worked had to be on only a small amount just to take away 10-20% nd do the rest myself. Continue with your life as you want it to be make friends with the DP or some how joke about it once you feel less anxious about it effects the effects will go trust me done it 4 times now. I know it is hard to start with as ive had it come back and didnt just snap straight out of it but each time gradually learning to accept the feeling got rid of it. Yes it might come back especially like me if you have anxiety issues which i am trying to resolve now.

Hope this helps in some way

Rich


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hey AylaStar,

Sorry, I am a little bit late (again...) with my response.

But thank you so much for your detailed explanation :wub:  !!!

I am very happy to read this !!!

Did you see this topic is "HOT" , there are 571 views at this topic... (see start-page) . Wooowwww...

But back to your explanation.



> The first way to do it, that first 5 pounds is really believing in the possibility that we WILL recover. That is our foundation. Without a solid foundation even the biggest building will fail, so we have to really throw in whatever faith or hope we can muster (and it's hard) into understanding in our soul that WE CAN RECOVER. And we can!


Thank you for your pep talk !!!



> have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired


So, I always feel like this...  ...

I understand your explanation. For me, I also try to leave the house every day. For example, to go to the supermarket. But it isn't easy. Sometimes I don't want to leave the house, because I am afraid of the dp. But I also have, that when I am with other people, I am a little bit nervous... (social anxiety...)



> "all you have to do is change your thinking...." I was pissed. IF I could do that I wouldn't be in this mess!!!!


Soooo, I am thinking the same, at this moment. I know that I must change my thinking, but I don't know how ???

Trying not think about it... yeah... after 10 (or in your situation, 20) years... That isn't so easy... And it is difficult to think positive when you have this *&&^#$%@# disorder... It is sooooo hard...



> BUT, we are NOT brain dead. Despite how strange and alien and gone we feel, we do know there is a little part of US still here.


It is strange, isn't it ? We have the feeling that we doesn't live, but we still have memories...



> I don't know about you, but I have ruminating thoughts at times that drive me nuts.


This isn't also strange for me... I understand what you mean. Dp is like a song that can't get out of your head... It goes on and on...



> At first I would distract myself and try and push the fear away but then I would think, "why am I doing this thing, oh yeah to distract myself from this." and then it would hit me again.


Oooohhh yeah.... It sounds the way I am thinking at this moment... hihi.

I heard that the way what we are thinking, becomes our normal (the dp becomes our normal) . A little bit strange, but I know we are in a negative circle.

For me: I feel myself a little bit unsure, when I am with other people. I think that I have social anxiety. But when I feel the anxiety, I still have dp... (huh??? ...)



> We can't go back to normal if we're trying to control the not-normal.


Like the comparison with 'not thinking about the purple elephant...  .

I learned a lot of your explanation, thanks !!!

Greetings !!!


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## little star (Jun 28, 2013)

Hey RichUK,

Thanks a lot for your response !!!



> I see DR now as a really bad anxiety habbit.


Yes, it is. Dp is a symptom of anxiety and the dp becomes our "normal" ... A little bit strange, isn't it ???



> Acceptance is the key along with time


Yes, I also read this on this forum. But it isn't easy... Is is soooo hard... But we have to try and try and try...



> You really need to work on anxiety in my opinion its the key.


Yes, it is  . I think I must work on 'the social anxiety' thing... But it is difficult, beause I try to leave the house every day, but when I wake up, I have fear to going crazy...

And some docters have said to me that I have the diagnose 'Asperger'... And when you have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), you have difficulties with 'the social anxiety' thing... And that is chronic...

Thus sometimes I am afraid that I cannot recover... :wacko: ...



> Continue with your life as you want it to be make friends with the DP


And so this is also a difficult thing for me... After 10 years I am so sick of the dp. It is difficult to letting go the dp...

So acceptance is also the key... Pppffff, I have a lot to do ^_^ :wacko: ...

Thanks !!!


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