# One month anniversary



## Passion (May 14, 2012)

Hello, today is exactly one month since I got my HPPD and DPDR. 
I got it from a bad trip om hashish on the 14th of april.

_I miss my life so much._ 
And I want it back.

My worst symptom was at first my HPPD. So I didn't bother much with DPDR.. 
I felt that my body felt weird to me. But nothing much.. until this friday.. 
It hit me while I was at school. I couldn't seem to understand if my teacher 
was real and what I was doing there. I didn't knew what existance were.

Why did existance exist? 
WHAT AM I? Is this a dream?

Had this feeling 24/7 for 4 days now. I am so scared. 
And I don't even know right now if you are real. Or if what I am typing is real, 
or if I am really typing this.

.. Or.. I KNOW that I am typing this. I know that this is the world I live in. 
I know that everything IS ACTUALLY REAL. But.. I don't feel like it.

I don't know what to do. 
And I am scared shitless.

Have any of you recovered from this? :C


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## Torke (May 11, 2012)

Hi!

This is all real, believe me. Sometimes I am just like you, I even get panic attacks. Just remember this is just temporary and everything will be fine. We are in this together.


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## Passion (May 14, 2012)

Oh God thank you for your reply<3

I just really need someone to talk to. 
And I am so glad you answered.


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## Torke (May 11, 2012)

I also just posted here for the 1st time so we are in the same situation. If you want, PM me your e-mail or facebook so we can talk


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## Nightwish (Apr 28, 2012)

OMG you got it on the same day as me. All i can say is we have to try and hope that one day we will recover and to try not to obsess with it much , just try to keep your mind busy all the time. Wish you best of luck recovering and PM me if ya want to talk. Cheers


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## comett (May 5, 2011)

Hello I so get it when you say: 
"I miss my life so much.
And I want it back."

I have been there done that.
YES you can recover from this! I am living proof of this and so are many others. 
I have used medications, therapy and visualizations to help me. I have also used the "light box" (light therapy). It takes time but it does get better! The visualization technique is something you can start working on right away. It doesn't work all at once but it will provide some relief. I read about it in a self help book years ago.

I always imagine I am safe in a rocket ship traveling AWAY from the DPD and all the panic. I focus very hard on being in that rocket and NOT LOOKING BACK! You can place yourself in any kind of vehicle you like. But remember to concentrate as hard as you can on traveling AWAY from the pain. Dont't look back! Just look ahead and try to think of anything calm and simple like some blue sky perhaps! Little by little the brain calms down a bit.
This technique always helps me.

BTW My DPD started with marijuana. I had it off and on for many years but now I have spent about 15 years DPD free since I went on Paxil and Trazodone. I also go to therapy every week and do EMDR with my therapist quite often.

There's HOPE!


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## Passion (May 14, 2012)

Will I ever feel normal again?

Thank you for your answers. And yes, I am going to try the visualization method. But I am a little against medication.

Is there anyone who made it to the recovery without medication? C;


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## Chooch00000 (Jun 18, 2012)

You guys will get better!!! Just give it time!!! It will gradually get better and better!!! I have been down this road trust me!!!


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