# Recovered after 2 years, the afterlife.



## Astilla (Aug 25, 2019)

First of all, note that in a few occasions, I've suffered the disorder when under preassure since I was a child, but very very slightly. Also, my English is pretty bad, so you're warned.
Well, so in my case it was a mix of extreme stress from job, smoking and sleep depravation, in just the matter of days where I had to work hard 12h/day and sleep like 3h, my both DP and DR went from like 5% (already had the condition growing) to 100%.

Week 1:
So the first reaction was thinking that i was becoming insane, losing my mind and about to not be aware of my surrounding.
Took the day off work hoping I would be "back" soon, like if it was just because a bad dream. Then the next day was worse.
Couldn't even wash my teeth or taking a shower without a huuuuge effort trying to remember the steps I had to make to move the sponge correctly, went to watch a show but my mind was blurry and disperse, reading impossible, and whatever I do, the next few seconds/minutes i wouldn't remember as if it happened for real or I was lying in bed dreaming it.
I searched the internet for desperate help, and the only thing similar that I found was squizophrenia. I went nervous walking around the house thinking and thinking. I wasted like 2 days thinking on the bed. I even imagined I was one of the birds singing out of my house, the mind traveling around places i could remember like if I was teleporting, but in a depressed and really sad/obscure way.
So the next day had to go to work, but how?? I took all my courage and drove the car to work. This was a crazy move, running around streets just focusing where I was at the moment, had to go so slow, couldn't risk a life for my stupidity. So I get to the place and did all my best to not give clues about my madness. While working, I was really stressed cause the body felt like I was about to fall down unconscious or in a deep sleep all the time.
Then, while on the task, I noticed that my mind was escaping slowly to another place, a bubble/sphere in a black empty universe, while my body was acting and talking to people like nothing was happening, like it had life by his own. Sounds as bizarre as it was.

Week 2:
I quit the job, it was all going worse, discovered what dpdr was, visited a doctor and he confirmed it. I should have gone before, I know, but my energy after the work was absolute 0, and once home all I wanted was sleeping.
Still really nervous, but searching on the web all about this, sometimes getting even more nervous when i heard de word "forever", getting it worse.
At nights I prayed to god, if I could get fully recovered the next day, I promised going to church everyday and wearing a cross. Not much help... maybe cause I've been agnostic all my life lol.
Watching movies also was a bad move, when a sad scene happened, still dunno why, maybe depression, I wanted to cry a lot. If the guy in the scene was in pain, I was too. Weird as hell.
Tried games, went to Overwatch and CSgo, but too frenetic. Then WoW... WoW... thank god I remembered about this one, it would be my 1st hobby on my way to recovery, next to guitar and sports. Just a chill way to pass the time, when playing, I disconnected with all the mess, just walking around talking to people was fun, beautiful world, good music... Maybe I sound like a weirdo, but this really was a lot of help. Hell, even you have an ingame alarm, so I would set it a lot of times over the day, cause my neuronal clock was broken, even when the sun was up, my body was battling with the feeling of the night.

Year 1:
Month by month I knew it was getting better, with some weeks worse and some better, but going upwards overall, so positive attitude. Started to learn the pattern, noticing that whenever I got stressed, I went a bit worse the next hour/day. Mental strenght was the key for keeping the disorder away (huehuheu).
Holding my mind under control, eating well, healthy life, 0 drugs, no coffee, and sport was the key. Also taking a multivitaminic and omega3 supplements just in case.
But still couldn't really enjoy anything I'd do like before and seeing my family as real family, not strangers. Until the end of the year when I started to see the light.

Year 2:
Life-changing phase, didn't mind anymore about the problem, it was mine and didn't care if the last of it was with me the rest of my life. This mindset must be the one that got me out of there completly.
Not gonna lie, somedays when I wake up, when I'm really tired or when under some stress, it peeks and shows a little little bit, but a joke that can be even enjoyable, it disappears so fast tho. Maybe it will get fully away soon or later, but don't mind AT ALL.

And that's it. Just wanted to encurage some of the people that could feel similar feelings. The best tip I could give is "Cut stress sources to 0, and I mean 0", the rest is letting time go on, 2 steps up, 1 down.


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## Speedy69 (Apr 15, 2019)

Did you use any medication?


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## Astilla (Aug 25, 2019)

Speedy69 said:


> Did you use any medication?


Nope. I refused to use it. When the psychiatrist explained me about the pills and how it would help me, told him to just wait for 1 or 2 more weeks in case I notice any improvement.

And weeks passed, then months, and forgot about it. I'm not saying its wrong to use them, but I personally prefered to have it as an alternative in case things went even worse over time.


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## Speedy69 (Apr 15, 2019)

Yes that’s how I always looked at it. I recovered twice in the past without meds. I always said if it was a last last resort I would try them. Awesome you recovered!!!


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