# Are these DP/DR symptoms? PLEASE HELP



## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

I tried to stay away from this website but I've gotten so horribly bad the past week. Im so scared and cant stop crying. Im trying to keep my stress and anxiety down as much as I can but its been hard with how horrible I feel 24/7. These are my symptoms

•feel totally disconnected from myself and surroundings
•TERRIBLE memory, both short term & long term
• doesnt feel like Im participating or experiencing life
•total loss in things I used to do/hobbies/interests
•cant retain information 
•always feeling scared/uncomfortable 
•head pressure
•blank mind/brain fog 
•no connection to past
•fear that I might go crazy
•life just feels so weird and different, even though I dont really remember what reality feels like I know it doesnt feel like this

My symptoms used to not be as bad, I no longer have the spacey feeling or stuff like that. It honestly worries me that I dont, since I dont have any visual symptoms like a lot of you guys have it makes me feel like I have something totally different. I feel so stuck, like idk how I could possibly get back to reality. Ive only had this for 3 months now. My problem I think is also that I dont do much. Its winter here and Id love to try and go for a jog or something but its been snowing non stop, also to mention I dont wake up till late cause Im always up late. All my friends work and are in school so its hard to make plans so I just end up staying at home all day not really doing anything since Ive lost interest in almost anything. I feel so wrong, I know I gave my symptoms but its so hard to describe. Does anyone else feel like this? Has anyone recovered from this?


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## Lostsoul26 (Nov 9, 2016)

I have all the symptoms you described and ive had it for 8 years now.I dont do anything either since I stopped working a year ago and have 2kids.if u want to message me u can im here to chat.im very scared and tired of this also.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

I feel the same


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## NotoriousLiar (Apr 23, 2009)

*•feel totally disconnected from myself and surroundings*

typical dp/dr symptoms have/had that myself

*•TERRIBLE memory, both short term & long term*

Very common with dp/dr, although I only have the bad short term memory

*• doesnt feel like Im participating or experiencing life*

Also typical dp/dr

*•total loss in things I used to do/hobbies/interests*

Another thing that's common with dp/dr, I still get it sometimes

*•cant retain information*

Also common with dp/dr. I still have trouble with this, especially when people ask/read up long questions.

*•always feeling scared/uncomfortable*

Dp/dr causes huge discomfort, so yes definitely common with dp/dr

*•head pressure*

Had that too, still get it sometimes.

*•blank mind/brain fog*

Common with dp/dr. Obsessive thinking is also very common with dp/dr.

*•no connection to past*

Have that!

*•fear that I might go crazy*

Had that too.

*•life just feels so weird and different, even though I dont really remember what reality feels like I know it doesnt feel like this*

Yes!

I'm not completely recovered from all of these symptoms, but enough from some of them to the point they don't bother me as much as they used to. The bad short term memory is pretty new to me. I constantly forget what I was doing..not the worst symptom for me, but it gets really frustrating after happening over 60 times the same day.


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

I have all of those symptoms to the letter, I could've written that post word for word. I have been checked out by numerous doctors and specialists who could offer nothing except the old "it's anxiety" which I've come to assume means DPDR. So if you've been fully checked out then it's safe to conclude this is what you have. I'm always having to do things throughout the day to try and snap myself back into reality at least temporarily. It's all I can do to stop myself thinking I'm going crazy. It's really not much of a life though. I always wonder how this ends. I mean, I've come to believe that deep down there is no real recovery, at least for me. I've had this 24/7 for years now. I think that's why I've been so down lately.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Heather414 said:


> I tried to stay away from this website but I've gotten so horribly bad the past week. Im so scared and cant stop crying. Im trying to keep my stress and anxiety down as much as I can but its been hard with how horrible I feel 24/7. These are my symptoms
> 
> •feel totally disconnected from myself and surroundings
> •TERRIBLE memory, both short term & long term
> ...


You Just described my whole life..


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

Is this similar to "ego death?" Because I think I experienced ego death recently, and to add to some of the symptoms:

I'll just post what Hellome posted in her video, as I experience the same symptoms:

-no sense of self - no one "leading"
-objective perception
-timelessness
-living almost completely presently as no wants/excitement for future
-no analytical thought/judgement during interactions
-no frame of reference
-no opinions/preferences
-loss of external attachments
-everything/everyone feels unfamiliar due to loss of connection to memories
-poor memory, specifically affective memory
-blank mind/inner monologue - no "drifting off" in thought or getting distracted in an interested manner
-poor sleep quality
-no excitement - nothing to be excited for
-no deep emotions
-drive for life falling away
-no aspirations
-sense of mourning these abilities/life before this

Does anyone else have these symptoms? Especially the "timelessness" - like you're living in one eternal moment of complete emptiness - in a complete void.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

Pondererer said:


> You Just described my whole life..


How long have you been sxperiencing this? How did it start?


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

dreamedm said:


> Is this similar to "ego death?" Because I think I experienced ego death recently, and to add to some of the symptoms:
> 
> I'll just post what Hellome posted in her video, as I experience the same symptoms:
> 
> ...


Yes, feels like I've been living in the same moment for 13 years of this. I vaguely recall that before this, each morning was a "new day" and each moment was kind of sectioned in some way. But no, I feel like this is the same moment from the start, one really long moment. I relate to your other symptoms as well.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Yes, feels like I've been living in the same moment for 13 years of this. I vaguely recall that before this, each morning was a "new day" and each moment was kind of sectioned in some way. But no, I feel like this is the same moment from the start, one really long moment. I relate to your other symptoms as well.


How did this start for you?


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Yes, feels like I've been living in the same moment for 13 years of this. I vaguely recall that before this, each morning was a "new day" and each moment was kind of sectioned in some way. But no, I feel like this is the same moment from the start, one really long moment. I relate to your other symptoms as well.


That's terrible. I've only been several days like this and it's already endless torture. Have you been trying to cure/relieve yourself of this? This is pure hell on earth. What keeps you going? Only several days of this is already making me feel suicidal. Is there any hope in sight?


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Hellome said:


> How did this start for you?


Well I was 16 and smoking a heavy amount of pot on the regular. I was also reading a lot of philosophy at the time. It was really kind of random though, I say this because I smoked weed for 2 years basically every day with no problems. However I did get dp'd for 15 minutes the second time I smoked pot, I consider myself lucky that I managed to calm down and avoid a panic attack which could have put me in this 2 years earlier, this girl gave me tootsie rolls and helped me come back.



dreamedm said:


> That's terrible. I've only been several days like this and it's already endless torture. Have you been trying to cure/relieve yourself of this? This is pure hell on earth. What keeps you going? Only several days of this is already making me feel suicidal. Is there any hope in sight?


I've done things like trying to live as normal, with a job, getting out etc. I've been on medications. Done a bit of talk therapy. I didn't have any trauma in my life before it started but I did grow up with anxiety, which I don't have anymore. This has never made me suicidal. I try to remain hopeful that there will be better days. I look at this disorder as a challenge of survival, and take things one day at a time. I've found taking enjoyment in the small things to be a good method of coping, things like a cup of tea/coffee in the morning, a meaningful conversation with a close friend, a beautiful sunrise/sunset... whatever it may be, helps. Also my best times are when I'm consistently meditating on a routine.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Well I was 16 and smoking a heavy amount of pot on the regular. I was also reading a lot of philosophy at the time. It was really kind of random though, I say this because I smoked weed for 2 years basically every day with no problems. However I did get dp'd for 15 minutes the second time I smoked pot, I consider myself lucky that I managed to calm down and avoid a panic attack which could have put me in this 2 years earlier, this girl gave me tootsie rolls and helped me come back.
> 
> I've done things like trying to live as normal, with a job, getting out etc. I've been on medications. Done a bit of talk therapy. I didn't have any trauma in my life before it started but I did grow up with anxiety, which I don't have anymore. This has never made me suicidal. I try to remain hopeful that there will be better days. I look at this disorder as a challenge of survival, and take things one day at a time. I've found taking enjoyment in the small things to be a good method of coping, things like a cup of tea/coffee in the morning, a meaningful conversation with a close friend, a beautiful sunrise/sunset... whatever it may be, helps. Also my best times are when I'm consistently meditating on a routine.


Have you had times when you've felt like you've gotten out of this? Like seeing time as more of a commodity than just an ever-expansive moment?


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Hellome said:


> Have you had times when you've felt like you've gotten out of this? Like seeing time as more of a commodity than just an ever-expansive moment?


Nope


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Nope


Do you experience grogginess in the morning/sleepiness at night?


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Nope


Have you tried antidepressants or any meds that were even slightly beneficial?

I've just spoken to my psychiatrist and he's familiar with the term "ego death." He tried to reassure me that nothing actually "died" within me, and that it's just part of my condition - the depression and possibly dp/dr along with maybe psychotic symptoms. He told me that this condition is definitely reversible and that he's had patients who have presented with the same symptoms that I've described to him with my "ego death" and that patients eventually got better.

But this makes me wonder whether meds can actually help and if he's right that nothing actually "died" or that my psyche was transformed, so to speak.

On another note, I recently corresponded with someone who supposedly went through ego death and came out of it. He also had depression and anxiety and dp, which all seem to be a part of it. He mentions: "I was able to ground myself through energy healing, lots of exercise- specifically Bikram hot yoga - body-scan meditations, and participating in activities I enjoyed. Once a shift into dp has occurred, you are on the spiritual path for life, in whatever way that presents itself to you. This insight into no-self will change you permanently and was so devastating because you weren't ready for it. At this point meditation is still the best thing out there...

"Managing the anxiety and depression is very important. The emotions caused by dp are the real 'problem' of it - once you no longer react emotionally to it, the dp no longer bothers you, or it goes away entirely.

"I did come out of ego death. I became fully embodied again. I mostly regained my ego, but also partly still have the same perspective the dp gave me, without it bothering me. No, it did not lead to any enlightenment, unfortunately! I wish it had, but the dazed, disembodied, meaningless feeling is gone. I do see the world and myself differently in a noticeably more free way. The most important way I have changed is that I am permanently motivated to continue on the spiritual path."


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

Hellome said:


> Do you experience grogginess in the morning/sleepiness at night?


Ever since my ego death, I seemed to have stopped experiencing this as well. Do you? Also, I've sent you a couple of private messages, not sure if you checked them.


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Hellome said:


> Do you experience grogginess in the morning/sleepiness at night?


No. But I do struggle to make the transition from waking up to being awake, but it goes away as soon as I'm up and about. Also at night I feel more awake, like I don't want to go to sleep. So it's like I don't want to wake up in the mornings but don't want to sleep at night.


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

dreamedm said:


> Have you tried antidepressants or any meds that were even slightly beneficial?
> 
> I've just spoken to my psychiatrist and he's familiar with the term "ego death." He tried to reassure me that nothing actually "died" within me, and that it's just part of my condition - the depression and possibly dp/dr along with maybe psychotic symptoms. He told me that this condition is definitely reversible and that he's had patients who have presented with the same symptoms that I've described to him with my "ego death" and that patients eventually got better.
> 
> ...


That is a hopeful message. I agree meditation is the best thing for one to do whom is on a spiritual path. It's important to point out that one shouldn't focus on "going back", but instead look forward to "moving on".


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> No. But I do struggle to make the transition from waking up to being awake, but it goes away as soon as I'm up and about. Also at night I feel more awake, like I don't want to go to sleep. So it's like I don't want to wake up in the mornings but don't want to sleep at night.


Just wondering, why to you does that not constitute as grogginess?


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Hellome said:


> Just wondering, why to you does that not constitute as grogginess?


Because as soon as I roll out of bed and stand up, I'm wide awake.


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## andcrew (Dec 8, 2016)

Dreamedm, I think I experienced something very similar to yours and I have been like that for the last 5 months. Would you like to PM me to see if what we are experiencing is the same and how to deal with it


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

Hey Heather414 I'm not sure if you saw I PMed you, I'd love to talk to you about this


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