# Leading a life with DP



## recover (Aug 9, 2008)

PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. MY NOTES ARE ONLY BASED ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

I am just trying to help, by stating what worked for me. I really hope atleast a few finds it helpful. I know the suffering and pain and frustration, but there is life with DP.

First, it is very hard to accept, but there is no known magical cure for DP. But knowing that it is in our mind and accepting that, is the first step to proceed with our life.

DP gets worse, when we are anxious, constantly trying to fight it, trying to understand what is wrong with us. The obsessive thinking about ourselves and the fear of losing control, feeds back to the DP feelings. And it becomes a never ending loop. First, I realized after years of suffering, it is in my mind. No doctor, ever gave me a name for my suffering, until I stumbled across this website. But after a few years of struggle and feeling of going crazy, I just knew, it is my mind. So first step is absolutely telling ourselves, we are not going crazy.

Second, DP comes when we focus on our body, so change the focus. Try giving complex problems to your brain to handle. Focus on studies, complex algebra or say an exciting puzzle or just keep doing anything that will take your mind off of. For me programming, computers worked great (Sometimes, staring for a long time at Computers and TV sets triggers DP as well - so be careful). This way your mind is occupied, you spend your life constructively. I became a workaholic in the process but I am glad to be alive.

Recently, I started working with a therapist. The therapist has been a great source of help, in understanding lot of my problems. One of the suggestions given to me is to use, ice cold water. Trying to dip my face in ice cold water helps get out of DP immediately.

Exercise helps to a great extent. This has not helped me that much in the past, when I was extremely anxious. Now, that my anxiety levels are much lower and I have accepted that the condition is in my mind it is really helping me to stay healthy and really helps to be out of DP.

Having a rubber hand tied to the hand and striking it hard, when DP strikes helps too. But only helps when in the begginning stages.

Certain smell helps, if you take a deep breathe with the perfume that you like, it helps you connect to your body immediately.

For all the sufferers, my suggestion is to try to come up with a wholistic approach to change your life and try to keep your mind focussed on positive and complex challenges, this gives you the satisfaction of accomplishing things in life and helps you reduce the feelings of DP.

I still suffer and I hope one day my DP will be out of me. I am working with a therapist for the first time in my life. It really helps for anxiety and I hope DP will eventually leave me, but even if it does not, I know that I can live a productive life.

For all those teenagers, I know, how it hurts to live a life as a teenager suffering from DP and anxiety. But believe me tough times never last but tough people do. Take it one day at a time. I feel the frustrations too, I feel the pain too, but I know that there is always a better day ahead.

PS:

I lead a good life and am thankful for everything that I have. I wish you all the same too. My prayers are there with everyone of you.


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Good Post!

I am just at a year right now of having this condition.... The first 6 months I was so freaked out by it that I ended up taking steps backwards. The most recent 6 months I have taken charge of my life and now I feel I?m moving in the proper direction, I?m not going to let this DP stand in my way anymore. I have been working hard everyday to engage in life! You must do ALL of the things you did before getting this condition and the sooner you do this the sooner you can start to recover. Every day I feel like I am in more control of my life. Im making progress in how Im dealing with this DP which is very important. Once you can somewhat master living with this crap ( without letting it increase your Anxiety, which is the trick) then your body and mind will do its part on its own! This condition cannot exist without having anxiety to fuel it! Its rough but you have to do the work... Acceptance is the key! You don't have to like it but most of all don't fight it. Roll with the feelings, even though they are horrible! Stay Relaxed and Stay Calm! I look at it this like we are in boot camp... We are being tested right now and we have to step up (when it most counts) and take charge of our lives! We must challenge ourselves most every day. I work in construction and I have to use my mind constantly, shooting elevations, calculating materials, scheduling deliveries and so forth and I can honestly say I have noticed a big difference the past 4-5 months! My mind is getting clearer and I?m not struggling with the things I once had been struggling with. I feel this is do to me challenging my mind and not letting it sit idle. If we are just going through the motions and not doing the work then you will find yourself stuck in a deep rut! Build upon each and every accomplishment; know that you are going to get better! I don?t have any doubt in my mind anymore... Its just a matter of time before I am no longer in the grips of this condition, and if I had not let the first 6 months freak me out so bad I think I would be that much closer if not recovered by now! People stay strong and do not let your guard down. Keep pushing forward everyday even when you don?t have it in you and stay Optimistic about what?s going on right now. I really do look at this as my wake up call and I?m going to take advantage of it and come out better than I was before this experience!

Scott

P.S You know I have always refreshed myself by splashing cold water on my face and after getting this condition I noticed how I good I felt from it and Yes! it was like I was not DPed... for that moment! I told my brother this some months ago , I thought it was strange.


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## Clarity (Jul 22, 2008)

thanks recover for the good helpful post! ice water trick seems like it might help. i'de like to see a therapist but i don't have the money so i love hearing what you guys here from your therapists so thanks for sharing.


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## recover (Aug 9, 2008)

Scott, you are right. Sometimes (only sometimes), I feel this is a blessing in disguise. I have worked harder, have had constant challenges, and have probably accomplished more because of the fear of finishing myself if I fail to keep my head busy. I think it is the key point for everyone. But it is a hard and painful journey for all of us, until we get to the point where we have that acceptance and faith in ourselves.


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

You know sometimes I think Im trying to hard to keep busy all of the time and I need to lay off a bit... I have always been high energy and find it hard to sit down at the end of the night and just take a load off. But even more now I dont want to have too much idle time or I will think about this DP... If I just want to chill Then I try to read a bit and even then Im now reading alot of " Of Coarse" Self help books! Typical for people going through this DP, but I feel we must address the underlying causes of this condition. This did happen for a reason and there has got to be a common thread with everyone else. Anxiety mostly Im sure! So I dropped the ball and did not do the work years ago, but now I have a raging fire lit under my ass to motivate me!

P.S Blessing in disguise... I don?t think I could go that far, but I understand what you mean... I just don?t know if God would allow people to suffer as we do from this condition, but then again perhaps God feels that before this condition we took life for granite and most of all we were not living life to the fullest. By this I mean appreciating all that life has to offer, stopping and smelling the roses and so on, instead of living anxious and stressed out all the time, so we are being taught the hard was I suppose. Because it took something of this magnitude to get us to pay attention?? So who knows, but it does make me wonder sometimes. They say God works in mysterious ways... I started reading a book on the survivor personality and what makes certain people withstand/endure the worst situations, one example of many were ? prisoners of war? How did they get through it? What did they learn from the experience? And most of all how did it change them? In all of the cases the people said they grew from the experience and they were better off from it and most of all they were asked if they could go backing time and change things would they? They all said No! ?That speaks volumes?
Adversity surely builds character and no doubt makes us stronger in the end, but it?s getting through that period in the meantime that becomes such a challenge. We must hold onto the faith and know that we will make it through this! The brain will pick up on any doubt that we may have, so its crucial that we never second guess or question our chances for recovery. We must believe it first in order for it to happen!

Scott


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## recover (Aug 9, 2008)

Scott, You sound like me. Yes, I feel very frustrated at times too, and get exhausted and tired. Yes there are days I wonder, why to suffer so much. I read Robert Schuler's tough times never last but tough people do in 1998. In one of the chapters he asks if you complain about life, are you willing to trade places with someone suffering a cancer or a terminal illness. I really am not willing. Thats the only thing that gives me a perspective to go on. Afterall, this is in our mind. But you are right. I pray a lot. But I often wonder, if there is God, why he would want his kids to suffer in so much pain and trauma. And look around the world, there is so much pain and it so unfair. But may be there is a bigger plan that we really don't understand.

You are right, before this condition took over me, I was a typical kid. Now, I appreciate things I have and empathize with people who suffer. I do my best to help the society. I appreciate little things in life. But sometimes, only sometimes, I really feel, more than half my life is already gone with this condition, never had a teenage, as a young adult was more suffering than enjoying, even now, it is there. But then I know, not to look too much ahead, keep simple goals and try hitting them and enjoy what I have today.

To avoid exhaustion, try relaxation after exercising, it helps. One best book I read for anxiety is - "The anxiety and phobia workbook" by Edmund Bourne. I loved it and its very applicable to DP as well. Avoiding late night stimulants and relaxing before sleeping, helps to get a good nights sleep.


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Hey recover!

To start with try Self-Coaching: The Powerful Program to Beat Anxiety and Depression, by Joseph J. Luciani I had bought the first edition 6 years ago but I did not take it to heart back then, Now Im paying close attention! This book hits the nail right square on the head. I think that anyone who is bothered by Anxiety must read this book! It can change their lives if they let it... 
I just wonder how many people effected by this crap had issues with anxiety beforehand? 
I wish I had paid closer attention to mine and noticed it when it was getting a bit out of hand. It just was never so bad that I thought I need to get come up with a serious game plan to deal with it. Now I have to deal with it and this DP too... Such is life! I never had Panic attacks or Phobias, just Plain old Anxiety ( GAD ? Im not sure ) This DP makes you really look at yourself and question how things were before all of this. I just want to do what it takes to overcome this and I think the key is having a look deep within oneself and addressing the obvious issues and then just give it time for the mind and body to reset itself so to speak. Are you getting good nights sleep? I can't seem to get my sleep cycle back! Very broken... I know that sleep is so important in beating this, so this concerns me. I just never feel rested enough although its hard to gauge when I feel so spaced out 24/7 so who knows. Ive been concerned about depression which almost seems to be unavoidable when you are dealing with this DP all of the time. I?m paying close attention to my thoughts and constantly building myself up as I know one must stay strong! I?m not going to let this DP pull me down anymore than the little bit that I let it. I?m just sick of this Spaced out feeling all of the time; it does wear you out each and every day.
Today I decided to hang out with one of my crews and run the heavy equipment for a good part of the day the whole time I?m on it I?m focusing on the task at hand and enjoying myself immensely. But the whole time I just don?t feel the DP one bit! Im so into what Im doing that my mind forgets the DP until I tune back into reality and stop for a moment to have a closer look at what Im working on. These experiences are what gives me hope! This proves that distraction and letting go is one of the keys to getting back our lives? I don?t escape the DP feelings just by doing something? it has to be something that your mind has to focus in on hard not little things that don?t require much effort from ones mind. There is hope for all of us we just need to figure out what works and then keep doing it!
And no matter what age we are ? 16 , 27, 38, 45 and so forth we all are at unique places in our lives and it can be a disturbing factor? for me at 43 I feel Im loosing time with my Parents who are getting up in age and I feel this is a critical time in my life as now I have to pay close attention to my future, I have worked hard to get here and don?t want to let it all slip away. For the teenager it?s the feeling of being robbed of their lives and the thoughts of never enjoying the best years, not getting their careers established ect.. No matter what your age is we all are in this together and we cant let age factor in? What happens we start to beat ourselves up over this and its so important to keep a positive mindset, we must not try to look into the future or speculate on what might happen.

Scott


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