# Let depersonalization run its course



## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

You all need to stop fighting this condition and over-analyzing everything. Depersonalization is a method for your brain to cope with stress or danger; it happens to everyone. If you have an episode and try to fight it you'll only feel more depersonalized because your mind is perceiving danger. If you smoke weed or do drugs and wonder why you feel depersonalized then an IQ issue might be the problem. Hello...? Instead of living your life for depersonalization, try to pro-actively dedicate the same amount of attention to something productive. On the other hand, if you're complaining about depersonalization but in reality are covering up, ignoring, or running from some emotional truama, then deal with that with some professional counseling since deprsonaization is only a symptom in that case. Be honest with yourself.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

I am not trying to come off by being rude but what the hell, you have a lot of nerve. We are not a bunch of eccentric hyperchondriacs that have nothing better to do then to over analyze how we feel. We are mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, sons, and daughters who are just trying to cope with this disorder that has come upon us. This board and my family are truly the only two things that have kept me going. I have a master's degree and work in a very high demand medical field treating patient's with life threatening illnesses so I do have other outlets in my life besides this disorder. I am sorry to come across as such a b*#@ch but wow that post was truly unsympathetic and mean spirited.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

Dreamland said:


> You all need to stop fighting this condition and over-analyzing everything. Depersonalization is a method for your brain to cope with stress or danger; it happens to everyone. If you have an episode and try to fight it you'll only feel more depersonalized because your mind is perceiving danger. If you smoke weed or do drugs and wonder why you feel depersonalized then an IQ issue might be the problem. Hello...? Instead of living your life for depersonalization, try to pro-actively dedicate the same amount of attention to something productive. On the other hand, if you're complaining about depersonalization but in reality are covering up, ignoring, or running from some emotional truama, then deal with that with some professional counseling since deprsonaization is only a symptom in that case. Be honest with yourself.


Just curious...are you DP cured? Or have you had DP in your past? Just wondered


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

It's okay. You should come across being rude because that is evidently how you feel. Stop worrying how you're coming across, how people are going to judge you....live it up. I was not mean spirited but I must have touched a nerve for you to react that way. I've had depersonalization for many years but I don't beat around the bush or over-indulge in metaphors because you'll only feel worse. Stick to the facts: fear is a barometer of the unknown, don't let it take over your thoughts but recognize it for what it is. Your depersonalization will NEVER go away; it's part of who you are, but if you learn not to fear it'll become a minor inconvenience. Yes, I too was a hypochondriac, fearing the blank empty detached void in my mind but I'm still here, succesful, totally bitchin', and super happy. But I don't have a Master's Degree like you.


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

how do YOU know dp will never go away. there are some people on here with success stories you know.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I am one of those success stories. Three years ago I was glued to my couch; driving was harrowing because everything was so unreal. I let it run its course without medications and it doesn't bother me one bit. As a matter of fact, I invoke depersonalization at times to experience an altered state but it doesn't kill or harm. Stop being afraid of your own mind and thoughts ....you'll never go crazy!!!!!!! Accept it.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I think he has a point, but it could have been said in a nicer way rather than telling us we need to check our IQ's. I tuned out after that. But really, most of us are productive, it's just hard living with this fear. And I disagree that everyone has the same degree of depersonalization that some of the people on this board do. But rather than argue, tell us your story and how you got through it, how long you suffered, etc? I'm up for any ideas.


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## Shadow Cat (May 3, 2005)

I really don't see depersonalization has something that just needs to "run its course." People get this disorder because there was probably something wrong with the way they were living. They need to change in order to properly recover. How can you say that depersonalization never goes away and is a part of you, yet go on to say that you are completely recovered? And besides, that's like telling someone that paranoia or OCD is just a part of them.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

When I mentioned IQ I was intimating that if you use drugs and wonder why you feel the way you do and continue to smoke weed, endo, chronic, hemp, dank, hasj, etc, then I have no empathy because the diagnosis is repetitive-stupid-decision-making-disorder. I was not implying that people with genuine DP are stupid; on the contrary, they tend to be pedantic and creative at the same time.

I've had DP since I was fourteen-currently thirtynine-in varying degrees, and I agree that different people have it in their own special way. But the predominant theme tends to be this self-indulgent "scared of bright stores...feel weird after naps...dark places freak me out..etc" type of symptoms. Constantly going to the doctor and being told nothing's wrong with you. I just got sick and tired of this B.S. when I was seventeen and just decided to learn coping and acceptance skills. I'm not saying that you should just snap out of it because that's impossible; however, you should realize how rediculous these symptoms sound to other people. Sorry if it sounds insensitive but there are people dying from Ebola, Marburg virus, Diabetes, and hypertension. My sorry symptoms are nothing compared to some real medical issues. Depersonalization will always come and go. Just make sure that it's not a symptom of some unresolved issue that you've tucked away in your subconscious


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## Inflammed (Aug 10, 2004)

WhereamI said:


> We are not a bunch of eccentric hyperchondriacs that have nothing better to do then to over analyze how we feel.


Sometimes, I really ask if we really are not...
And honestly... :twisted:


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

It's just hard facing those unresolved issues. It would be easier of course if I wasn't already completely messed up from the dp and panic. I have this theory about drug addicts and how the reason their lives are so hard to clean up and everything is a mess when they try to quit (friends and family have abandoned them, money problems, etc) is because they went so long burrying these problems and not dealing with them as they came that now they have a mountain of issues that make it 10 times harder to get off the drug. This is me. I have a mountain of issues that built up while I was avoiding stuff, or smoking pot and hiding from my problems and then the panic attacks and dp hit and now it just feels like too much to face while in the midst of my panic attacks. I still live a productive life of course, college, grad school, job, but I'm not living. And I worry everytime somebody tells me to deal with my unresolved problems because how do you do that?? I wrote a post about it recently but nobody got what I was asking. I'm rambling and you're not my shrink dreamland, lol. I'll shut up now. I actually thought your post was helpful so thanks for it.


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

It was helpful, but I think it is safe to say that noone here wants to read that dp will NEVER go away. Not encouraging


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

enngirl5. ...I know that it is hard facing those unresolved issues but for crying out loud please do it ASAP. Don't think that it's too late because you've lived your life so long this way. I don't know who you are but you are a special person and deserve to live a happy and complete life. You're probably thinking that you should have dealt with your problems five or ten years ago, but it's not to late. I agree with your theory about drug addicts and their coping mechanisms; moreover, they also use it as an excuse/scapegoat for their dire status in life. Can you imagine what life would be like if everything went wrong and you had nothing but yourself to blame? It's a vicious cycle. It's not my intention to come across sounding like Dr. Phil or Judge Judy but I have refused to succumb to the destructive self worth destroying component of depersonalization. I just wanted to get people out of their comfort zone and judging by the expeditious replies it's working.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I was not implying that you'll have it 24/7 but it will probably come back every ten or fifteen or twenty years. I have a twenty year remission but after the death of my dog it came back with a vengeance....out of nowhere...for a year and a half!


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

Thanks Dreamland.


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

Dreamland, I get the feeling that you are angry. I may be wrong but is it possible? I am reading between the lines in your post and what I am reading is that you may be fed up with this illness and therefore are looking for a reaction.

gem.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i actually agree with dreamland,im living in this strange world but you have to get real with yourself....i meen im reading posts now saying that 'eating baked beans gives me dp' i meen c'mon dont analyze everything,we are living in this strange world due to anxiety/depression/panic....
i personally cant blame this disorder on anything else...screw anxiety


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

gem said:


> Dreamland, I am reading between the lines in your post and what I am reading is that you may be fed up with this illness and therefore are looking for a reaction.
> 
> gem.


I hope that's the case, for Dreamland's sake.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Angry? Me? I'm a lover not a fighter.....that's ignorant! LOL! No I'm not angry but I don't susbribe to the theory of discussing every weird emotion or altered state with everyone. You all need to realize that you're sronger than you think you are. Enduring DP gives you a form of mental toughness because of what you have to endure. Yes, it's a pain in the rear but by now you should have come to the conlusion that you're not going crazy. As soon as you're aware that we all suffer from "terminal uniqueness" (nobody understands how I feel, my feelings are worse) you're ten steps ahead. I have a lot of empathy for people and animals; they can make me cry in a split second but I also believe in grabbing the bull by the horns when it comes to your own destiny. Depersonalization can be daunting; fearing it and overanalyzing will keep you trapped. Learn not to fear it....I did it! You can too! It will come back ten years from now and I'm ready for it.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

The problem I find with posts like this is that the author of them is presuming to know the motives, conditions, and personalities of a group of people and assigning a prescription based on these stereotypes. Kind of like the psychiatrist who doles out anti-depressants to everyone with any kind of anxiety disorder. It's an exercise in arrogance, no matter what the intention. And I can't even tell if the intention is necessarily benign in this case. It usually isn't.

I agree with a lot of what you're saying, Dreamland, but your presentation is all wrong. It's laced with contempt and an air of superiority.

Let me let you in on a little secret: Most of us already know 99% of what you've written. If it was as easy as "ignoring it", "not dwelling on it", or "dealing with your issues", etc. then we wouldn't be here, and psychology would be a floundering business. We know this. That is the foundation of psychological recovery. A lot of us have had remissions in our DP before. A lot of us haven't. I've felt as empowered as you before. I've clawed my way out of the abyss and cackled in glee at the summit of sanity. Then I fell back in.

Another thing, all suffering is relative. Whether I have the ebola virus or DP. You can't compare one with the other in terms of putting them on a "suffering scale". They're totally dependent on the individual. Granted, one is a death sentence, while the other is an anxiety disorder. But still, it's dangerous to rate things like that on an objective scale, because it belittles the person with DP, as if to say, "God, you're a whiner. There are people out there dying, and you're worried about a little anxiety disorder." This disorder is _crippling_ to a lot of people. Whether it's psychological or physical is irrelevant. People have killed themselves over losing some money, and others have survived having their families massacared by maniacal genocidists.

I'm happy to hear that you're doing better, but you seem to be implying that the rest of us are somehow a bunch of helpless whiners who are crying at our keyboards every night and thinking of various ways to sabotage our mental health.

Look...I don't totally disagree with your message, but take the arrogance out of it. Your intentions may very well be good, but a lot of times, when people come on here and post something equivocal to: "You guys just need to pull yourselves up by your bootstraps and get better", it sounds a lot like someone trying to feed their own ego by showing how much more "together" they are than the rest of us lunatics. I'm not saying that this is you.

I hope you continue to post positive threads like this Dreamland. I love hearing recovery stories as do most of us. Just, please, make them a little more palatable next time.

s.


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

sebastian - absolutely spot on  !

pete


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

oh my gosh, dreamland, your posts are so annoying. are you seriously trying to be helpful? really, that's all i have to do? just stop thinking about it and it'll go away? geez!

it IS helpful for me to describe my symptoms and see that i'm not alone. i had felt dp/dr for YEARS before finding out a word for what i am going through, and since i've joined this site i'm doing soooo much better. i think it's because now i know that i'm not going to go crazy and i will have the support of so many people who know exactly what i'm going through!

(by the way, you can't use empathy and sympathy interchangeably...look them up in the dictionary if you don't know what they mean, k?)


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

Sebastian you wrote that beautifully. I agree with you one hundred percent.

This site is here for support. We are all here to give and recieve support from each other. I am so thankful that there is a place like this to come to, a place where you feel accepted through the good times and bad. Like many illnessess some people are left isolated and a place like this can be a loyal friend. Depersonalization like any illness can be a lonely journey to travel, having others to share life with can be the best medicine in the world.

I have found everyone on this site to be kind and caring and sensitive to each other. The world can be a cold place and it is nice to know there is a corner of that world that can truly be helpful. This site is all about helping each other stand up when we feel like we are falling, to help dry a tear, to help heal, to show understanding when sometimes one cannot find it. This place is precious. It is a place where you can pull a comfy chair, and just be, just be part of something. When ill sometimes some of us may feel like we are a part of nothing. Here you know you will not be made fun of ridiculed. You are accepted.

Thank you to all of you who on a daily basis help one another, that is what life is all about. We do not have all the answers to this illness but one thing I do know we are all strong and caring people who struggle in an illness that is hard to understand. We all will cope in our own little way, and we will and we are intelligent people with hearts that beat like everyone else and we do work hard at being well and no we are not whiners we are learning to live in the unknown and may I say we are doing an exceptional job.

gem.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

gem said:


> I have found everyone on this site to be kind and caring and sensitive to each other. The world can be a cold place and it is nice to know there is a corner of that world that can truly be helpful. This site is all about helping each other stand up when we feel like we are falling, to help dry a tear, to help heal, to show understanding when sometimes one cannot find it. This place is precious. It is a place where you can pull a comfy chair, and just be, just be part of something. When ill sometimes some of us may feel like we are a part of nothing. Here you know you will not be made fun of ridiculed. You are accepted.
> 
> Thank you to all of you who on a daily basis help one another, that is what life is all about. We do not have all the answers to this illness but one thing I do know we are all strong and caring people who struggle in an illness that is hard to understand. We all will cope in our own little way, and we will and we are intelligent people with hearts that beat like everyone else and we do work hard at being well and no we are not whiners we are learning to live in the unknown and may I say we are doing an exceptional job.
> 
> gem.


so true gem...thanks to all on this board who have been supportive with me. i'd like you all to know you have helped me a ton.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

I agree with Dreamland & the people are are questioning this post should stop because what Dreamland said is true. Stop with the weak complaining and all of that shit. Its gonna get you nowhere.

I hate when people say " oh my DP/DR is so bad I can't do anything" YES YOU CAN! You don'thave AIDS OR CANCER or if you wanna talk physchological illness SCHIZOPHRENIA.

It could be much worse and it could be much better, but YOU have to help yourself to make it better.

When this first happened to me I was in the house for two weeks straight and than I said to myself I can't let this anxiety & depression & DR control me, and although im still going through it, things have gotten much better because I REFUSE to let it get the best of me, no matter what.

Get some will power people, really


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

SoulBro: You're probably the biggest "whiner" of all of us. "Weak complaining"...good God...you have a real thing with strength and weakness and how it equates with mental illness...it's a very atavistic belief, you know.

Anyway, I know what you're saying to some extent. We shouldn't dwell on it, and yes, objectively, there are some things that are worse than this. What people are objecting to mainly though, is the tone in which the post was written.

holla :roll:


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I didn't mean to offend anyone and I apologize if my comments came across as insolent or cavalier. I've never said "snap out of it" because that doesn't work, at the same time consistent cognitive behaviour therapy and some positive changes will help you cope. I know that this doesn't apply to everyone but repeating the same stories over and over won't help either; it didn't for me. It's not a positive message. I had a strong DP episode this morning on my way to making a presentation but I've had so many of them that I teat it like a headache. I never "clawed" out of it because that's what depersonalization wants you to do; fighting and chasing your own tail. Learn to accept things that won't kill you and step up!! Stick to the facts.

Sebastian, I never said that DP isn't serious; however, complaining about flourescent lights, spicy food, scary movie causing DP. Yes, that is whining. It is a selfish and self-indulgent affliction. Don't think about yourself, think about other people around you who must constantly listen to these odd complaints.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

oh my god!!! this is a SUPPORT board!!! soul bro, if you don't come here for support, why are you here? if you don't like reading all of the "weak" complaining then stop coming here. i'm guessing the reason you are still coming here, is because you need the support as well.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

lol ok

im done with this post


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

'course you are.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

Dreamland said:


> Sebastian, I never said that DP isn't serious; however, complaining about flourescent lights, spicy food, scary movie causing DP. Yes, that is whining.


But a lot of those posts have to do with people trying to figure out for themselves whether these things effect their condition or not. You and I may know that they don't and the concerns may seem redundant to us, but others are still figuring it out. I agree that reading them can be frustrating in the sense that people seem to be looking for any reason other than the obvious ones for getting out of their quagmire.



> It is a selfish and self-indulgent affliction. Don't think about yourself, think about other people around you who must constantly listen to these odd complaints.


But this is a support group, like Cooper said. If people can't vent their unusual complaints here, then where else?

Dreamland...I agree with a lot of what you're saying, although again, it isn't really a new tact. I encourage you to say more and tell us your particular success story. I just hope you phrase it a little less abrasively next time, that's all.



SoulBrotha said:


> " holla" get the f--- outta here, with your nonsense, tryna mock me. Only someone ignorant would so somethin like that. You don't see me takin shots at you cuz you listen to emo art *** rock music


I have feelings you know


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

Dreamland said:


> Sebastian, I never said that DP isn't serious; however, complaining about flourescent lights, spicy food, scary movie causing DP. Yes, that is whining. It is a selfish and self-indulgent affliction. Don't think about yourself, think about other people around you who must constantly listen to these odd complaints.


who's making you listen to these odd complaints, dreamland? i'd rather not listen to you boasting about how easy it is for you to deal with your dp, but i wasn't going to say anything about it until you started attacking people who are on this board for *support*. if you don't like having to deal with the people who are complaining, maybe a support board isn't the right place for you to be spending your time, eh?


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I don't know about everyone else but what's up with all of this vitriol and pugnacity? I've never attacked anyone personally but my statements must have, tacitly. I still love you all even though I might seem abrasive. I just don't like what depersonalization does to people because they often become isolated searching for answers which is completely normal if you want your misery to end. I know that it's hard to accept but it will come and go throughout your life. I just found out a year ago that my forty seven year old sister has had it for most of her life and a fellow highschool mate who is now a general surgeon has endured many battles.
We're all unique in our own way. Just don't give into the little lies and questions that pop up in your head during depersonalization; you're just a little vulnerable and that's when other old issues and demons will play tricks on you. Everyone will get better and when you have another serious episode you'll know that it will "run its course".


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

Dreamland said:


> I didn't mean to offend anyone and I apologize if my comments came across as insolent or cavalier.





Dreamland said:


> however, complaining about flourescent lights, spicy food, scary movie causing DP. Yes, that is whining. It is a selfish and self-indulgent affliction.


OK, 10 points to anyone who can reconcile those two statements :shock: That sounds pretty offensive and cavalier to me.

Talking about things that make DP/DR worse or better for you, for example, is not necessarily self-indulgent nor selfish. It could be called "learning" and this "learning" is good in my book. I sit under fluorescent lights at work and the fact is that they make my DR worse. I don't endlessly complain about this, I grimly accept it whilst wanting to learn about it. I've experimented with various lamps, sunvisors and so on to see if they lessen the affect of the fluorescent lights. Is that really so selfish and self-indulgent? I don't think so. It's called trying to help yourself which ever fcuking way you can.

Sure, don't fixate or obsess on DR/DP and don't promote its importance if at all possible but that still leaves room for research, comparison, mutual support and sometimes just chat.

Anyway, that's enough vitriol, pugnacity, venom, viciousness and bile from me, I'm off to lie down (since I have no backbone it would seem) and whinge incessantly to myself.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

No, I kind of understand. I do accept my OCD as being a 'part of me.' It's part of the way my brain's wired. But I do also have enough will to change the way I live and try not to let it dominate my personality. I do think most of the people on this board are perseverant and adept at living through something that is difficult to deal with and not easily understood in 'DP/DR.' If talking about it helps a person cope, I say 'go for it.' I appreciate the encouragement to 'live' and not just 'worry', but I think it's pointless to be so harsh in your words. Many people have delivered a similar message in the past, many of them delivered it in a more diplomatic manner. I mean, all of us have handicaps, and all of us make mistakes. Let's not be afraid to criticize or correct ourselves, but I think it's harmful to beat ourselves or one another up over our foibles as well.


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## mcsiegs (Apr 27, 2005)

Once again, I always seem to agree with Sebastian and Agentcooper.

Dreamer - if someone you knew and love personally (other than yourself, as we can tell you love yourself a little too much), would you really be preaching the tone and advice that you have presented on this board? The reason I ask this is because I view most of the people on this board as a family of my own. A family of both sufferers, but survivors at the same time.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword, or in this case you think your keyboard is mightier than real help. Get a grip.

I am not saying I don't do my fair share of complaining on this board, because I do. BUT, I always provide some supportive words. You remind me of my father growing up - if you were on the ground bleeding, he would probably say "Get up and shake it off" instead of actually helping.

Soul Brother - I actually thought you were pretty cool until a couple of your last posts. Maybe you are in a real bad state lately, but c'mon, be a little consistent and practice what you preach.

Dreamer - one last thing...I would let this thread die without responding again. You seem to get yourself in more hot water each time you open your mouth...err, type on your keyboard, I mean.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I decided to go to Lowe's, Home Depot, Shopping Malls, Bed Bath and Beyond....any place with flourescent lights and torture myself until I got used to it. My friends now call me Lowe's/Home depot rat....I now love the lighting, and decor. I used to fear snakes; I know try to grab 'em evrytime I see one. Sming, you're angry! I love it. Crazy right of the bat...keep the insanity rolling!!!


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I do love myself very much, thank you. As far as talking to people in a certain tone of voice....come on !! What you do for your loved ones is in your actions, not with a few saccharin words in a mellifluous tone of voice. Again, it's easy to judge someone in order to elevate yourself. I've attacked depersonalization and reactions to the disorder. No one personally except for a few facetious remarks.


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## sming (May 7, 2005)

Dreamland said:


> I decided to go to Lowe's, Home Depot, Shopping Malls, Bed Bath and Beyond....any place with flourescent lights and torture myself until I got used to it. My friends now call me Lowe's/Home depot rat....I now love the lighting, and decor. I used to fear snakes; I know try to grab 'em evrytime I see one.


Hmm, there doesn't seem to be a "yawn" emoticon. Anyway, what you're describing is desensitisation and is one of the oldest psychological techniques. Again, if you're thinking your fascinating exploits are news to anyone on this board, think again. I've deliberately visited fluorescent places for years. Did it help? Possibly. Do I still frequently freak out under fluorescent lights? yes. Move on. Yawn.



Dreamland said:


> Sming, you're angry! I love it. Crazy right of the bat...keep the insanity rolling!!!


Blimey, steady on mate! I wouldn't go as far as to say I was angry. Tired/irritable perhaps but certainly not angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... :mrgreen: (that's supposed to be The Hulk but it doesn't look that scary unfortunately).


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

im actually in a much better state

im doin alot more than I used to, finally found a girl that i really like, bout to work on an album. Ive been goin to NYC alot etc etc

i just think people need to stop feeling so sorry for themselves and move on with life.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

I'm not enjoyin' this thread.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

im not enjoying the fact that people don't understand my perspective

you gotta make the best out of a bad situation


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

Oh, I'm understanding your perspective all right. I haven't been on this site in a few months because I've been busy. Out doing stuff. I do more than complain about stuff on the internet and I'm sure most people (read:everybody) on this site is the same.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2005)

Saying something everyone already knows: Life is a struggle no matter what.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)




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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

When posting I feel it is really important to be considerate of the feelings of others. We all have our own views on this illness and it is okay. That is what makes us all unique. No one knows what the answers are to this illness. By saying that I mean no one truly knows what the cure is. We can try our best to live in this illness and do what feels right for us. What may work for one person may not work for another. Coming here to this site is a way to be able to express the ups and downs of living with dp/dr. Some of the best experts in the world do not know the answers to this illness so I believe it is safe to say that no one can tell another what the right way of living with this is. We are here for each other and I do believe we will all be well again some day for now kind words can heal any sore.

gem.


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## Guest (Jun 3, 2005)

Da said:


> Anywho, I think the biggest bright spot on this site is being able to vent your emotions in a good way to eachother and finding out what is and isn't normal with this condition. Knowing that people have the same annoying problems are comforting to know. Though miniscule to most, it's huge to others.


I'd have to agree. The more specific and tiny a problem is, the more personal it is, the more i realize how we're not alone in this. Just 5min about i heard Janine mention OCD sufferers 'thinking good thought to undo the bad'. I've heard symptoms lists on websites, but she hit it straight on in different words and it was a great comfort that its just an irrational thought from a disorder.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

To all the homies: I clipped and moved your posts over to "That's Life" in it's own thread called "Boyz in da 'hood". It was all just straying a little too far off topic.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

True, sebastian... but be nice.


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## Guest (Jun 4, 2005)

I kinda liked the digression. It was like a time shift in a prog-rock number.


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

I haven't read the whole thread personally (that is, every word) - but, the amount of winding about and utter weirdness of it leaves me speechless, I guess all I have to say is this:



> Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Actually - as a side note, I kind of thought the whole thread was very personal and interesting.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

What Dream apparently doesn't know about is the fact that there's are stages that a person goes through when dealing with serious illness, death, and other painful and life-changing things.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' well-known Stages of Grief are pertinent here:
http://web.vet.cornell.edu/public/petloss/ekr.htm.

In addition, and perhaps most important, it seems to me that many people here are new to panic, etc., but perhaps I am wrong about that. There's certainly nothing odd about wanting to share one's difficulty and learn about one's illness.

Dream's response is typical of a personality that cannot empathize.


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## Guest (Jun 5, 2005)

sebastian said:


> Another thing, all suffering is relative. Whether I have the ebola virus or DP. You can't compare one with the other in terms of putting them on a "suffering scale". They're totally dependent on the individual. Granted, one is a death sentence, while the other is an anxiety disorder. But still, it's dangerous to rate things like that on an objective scale, because it belittles the person with DP, as if to say, "God, you're a whiner. There are people out there dying, and you're worried about a little anxiety disorder." This disorder is _crippling_ to a lot of people. Whether it's psychological or physical is irrelevant. People have killed themselves over losing some money, and others have survived having their families massacared by maniacal genocidists.


As I read this thread I went back and forth trying to decide who to side with. Well I have to say I agree to some extent with both sides. But at the point where I felt especially trodden down by Dreamland's arrogant comments, this quote struck me and was very comforting. Thanks, Sebastian. I agree with everyone who's said that this is a place to be open even if it is about seemingly trivial things. I think we each need to find a balance between being feeling hopeless about things never changing and about feeling that we can simply live our lives free of dp by making a choice. It is definitely more complex than that. Like gem said, each of us is complex and healing comes different for each of us. This is a place that can help us along the way. Thanks to everyone.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Again, I aplogize if I came off sounding insensitive or mean-spirited but it's my way of dealing with on and off chronic depersonalization for twenty five years. I always felt better when I forced myself to get up of the couch and when I accepted my fate as something that won't kill me or make me go insane. I'm not saying you all are cry babies. I've been in situations at work giving presentations and realizing that if the people watching me only knew what was going on inside my head and how detached I was....well you know how it feels. But I've learned through the years that no one can tell from the outside so I must be normal. What does get me going is when I hear stories about people continuing to use recreational drugs or excessive alcohol with depersonalization and complaining. Common sense....do the right thing...don't create elaborate methapors or scenarios for things you know the answer to. Yes it sounds blunt...I know.


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## mcsiegs (Apr 27, 2005)

Congratulations once again by using the words "I apologize" and then going on in your ramblings to talk about "people complaining" and ordering them to use "common sense" and "do the right thing".

Also, not one place in any of your responses did you give any helpful advice to contribute to our recovery. You went from saying that it cannot be cured to you were cured. You went from saying that we were whiners, then we weren't, then we were again. You have more flip flops than a summer beach.

I tried to find an emoticon that expresses my feelings right now, but every time I typed my feelings into google, this board came up! Hey, I AM in the right place.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Am I hitting a button or something? Do you want to play childish semantic games "you said but then you said nannee booboo". I mean come on. I never said this board was not supportive. If you think using common sense and doing the right thing is so difficult because "it hurts"...welcome to the real world. As far as depersonalization never cured, you won't be suffering 24/7 but it will come and go; more gone and in remission than manifesting itself. Why are you so scared of the world and living? Can't you accept someone for how they speak their mind or do they have to belong to your commiserating club? More flip flops than a summer beach"....hahahaha..always a lot of belly ache laughing with mcsiegs. Where does the creativity come from? Stop you're hurting me. Comedy Central get ready..


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## mcsiegs (Apr 27, 2005)

Comedy Central is ready - I start season 3 as soon as I get back from South Africa. I'm Rick James, Bitch.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

Live and let live.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

OK...we need to setlle this score once and for all. I suggest a tickle fight in the octagon ring wearing nothing but tighty ****** BVD underwear with baby oil covering our bodies. Or jell-O wrestling in a bathtub wearing banana yellow Speedos.......


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## mcsiegs (Apr 27, 2005)

Ok Dreamland - you made me laugh. 

Hey - I have a habit of overreacting at times. Anyway - peace, my good man.

And if matters - your threads did good content, and you got a heated discussion going. Nothing wrong with that - Hey, it made people FEEL something!


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

That's what it's all about ......feeling that we're real, we can get mad as hell, and dpersonalization or not, we're 100% human.

As Tyrone Biggums eloquently stated: "Crack is good...why you all coming down on crack?.....the bible even says: Let he who is without sin throw the first rock...and I shall smoke th it..."


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

Dreamland you mentioned in your post that this is your way of dealing with dp/dr and that is okay, whatever works for you is important. What is also important that you take into consideration the feelings of others who are suffering. What may work for one may not work for another. Kind words go a long way, they can mend a broken heart.

gem.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Gem...you're totally hot!!! And yes, I should not sound so acerbic and incisive.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

How do you know she's hot?


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Hot people know these things. It's like one hottie communicating with another one...telepathy.


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