# New here, I need some support right now



## ihatethis (Mar 13, 2012)

Hello Everyone,

I'm new here. I have had DR for over a month now triggered by a massive panic attack. I really just need some support from folks who really know what I am going through. I am working with a Psychiatrist and Therapist, who are both great, as well as doing acupuncture. Currently on 125 of Zoloft and increasing.

Mostly I have a tough time with the DR, everything around me feels really unfamiliar, although I know it's not, and all my memories are intact, although they feel distant. Pictures are also distant. Mornings are the worst when I'm really not sure if I am awake or dreaming.

Also I have recently been having waves of depression usually triggered by a feeling of complete emptiness and not being a part of anything, an observer, sort of like this is a purgatory that could go on forever. It's a really scary feeling sort of like I died that night of the panic attack and I'm just a ghost even though people see me and talk to me. This even makes me think sometimes "what is the point of trying to get better if I'm not even here?" Would these thoughts be DP?

Right now, it's like I can't even comprehend how my life was before all this which is making it difficult to move forward. I'm sure many of you can relate and I would like to hear from you, just to know that you all are hanging in there will help me to keep going. As a parent/spouse it's so hard to see this affect my family. I just need something to grab on to now so I can start to climb out of this pitch black hole.

Thanks in advance


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## Arianna (Mar 9, 2012)

Hi there,

First let me say that I'm so sorry you have to go through this, and I know this unfair but just remind yourself that everyone has their struggles in their life and you have tools to cope and overcome. I can tell that just by you coming here onto this forum. Secondly, the VERY good news is that you found out what it is and already started getting meaningful help. Getting a diagnose quickly and getting into treatment quickly is correlated with better outcomes. Now your trying a physical and psychological treatment which is really good, here is some other things I/others have found helpful 1) This book is amazing http://www.amazon.ca/Overcoming-Depersonalization-Disorder-Mindfulness-Acceptance/dp/1572247061 I can NOT rave about it enough, get it, read it, learn from it. 2) Continue on with your normal life, yes this may be difficult (thats an understatement) but it will have a much better outcome than just hiding away in your house and avoiding everything. 3) A healthy diet is so important, I don't know if your medication makes you lose your appetite but mine sure did (and most SSRI's do) So force yourself to eat 3) good meals a day plus snacks. I was down to 89 lbs I missing alot of important minerals and vitamins which just made things worse. 4) Exercise, it will clear your brain, start slow and at home and then build yourself up. 5) Finding hobbies, fill your time with things you love and things that are important to you- volunteering is good too. 6) As for your spouse/children, well I dont have children and dont know the ages of yours but its probably best if you try to shield your children from it and just give them your love and attention and tons of hugs and kisses. I do have a significant other and just pray for patience and understanding from them. Let your spouse read the read when your done with it, highlight the important parts to you. Let him/her ask questions because DPD is a very strange thing thats hard to understand and this will help. Also, if you ever have suicidal thoughts tell something RIGHT AWAY
Goodluck on your recovery, stay positive and try to keep the big picture in mind. You may feel like this now but leading a happy and fulfilling life with DPD is possible


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

ihatethis said:


> "what is the point of trying to get better if I'm not even here?"


The truth is that you ARE here, but the DP/DR makes you feel very far away and like you don't exist. You must remember that these are only feelings, and that the real you, the you that was there all along, is still intact. You're not lost...you're just disconnected from yourself right now.


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## mynamewasGarjon (Jan 20, 2012)

insaticiable said:


> You must remember that these are only feelings, and that the real you, the you that was there all along, is still intact. You're not lost...you're just disconnected from yourself right now.


I second that!

Lost and wandering is a normal feeling in life but especially with dp/dr. You WILL find yourself again and the beauty that comes from that will be more satisfying than anything you've ever experienced. Your love for your family will only be improved because of it. Hang in there, things can and will get better for you. Remember that you are not alone. People understand and feel the same things that you do every day, and many have come full circle!

Michael.


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## ihatethis (Mar 13, 2012)

Thank you so much for your comments. I am seeing some progress, it's slow, but I do feel like I will recover at some point. I am fortunate to have a therapist that knows the ins and outs of DP/DR, I know so many folks on here have gone through so many docs that have no clue. It's one day at a time, but so great to have a forum for support, Good luck to you all too!


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## Victor Ouriques (Jul 15, 2011)

Hey! Don't be sad.

I've got a pretty similar story.

Had a Panick Attack induced Derealization too.

Yeah it's been almost an year.So much time since I could feel the world and everything okay 24hrs.

Not that I can't now.In fact I had times where my DR/DP was like seconds.

But now I'm bad again,had another panick attack recently after 4 months without medication,at least I know that I can get better.I saw people get themselves cured.And I'll too.

And you'll make it too.I'm about to see a therapist too.Cognitive Behavior Therapy.My DP/DR is followed by heavy symptons of anxiety,pretty normal,CBT seems to help many people.

But just hang on,you'll get better soon.You have your children.They will give you willpower.


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## newbrains (Jan 23, 2012)

Yep I got them all. The no will to live thing is the hardest for me. I have had this for about 18 years. My wife has just given birth to our 4th girl and I know how hard it can be to suffer through this and still keep a positive and normal appearance for the sake of my children. I too am on the big Z with klonopin and busbar. Where do you live?


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