# "Imagination does not indicate reality" - 22/09/14



## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

I came across something a little while back when I was obsessing over a philosophy, one very similar to Solipsism. I won't go into the exact details of it because there's really no point for me to say what the philosophy was, as it's not relevant to the importance of this post. What is important is this quote:

*This quote is essential into terminating those outlandish thoughts we may end up getting trapped in.*



> "...I have not set up imagination as indicating real possibility."


When suffering from Depersonalization, people often have outlandish fears. While we can talk about the need to face our fears and isolate our immediate problems, we also need to solve the problems going on in our heads - when our imagination starts to twist and distort our thought patterns into something more malicious than it was prior to the obsessive thoughts. We need to understand that the fear in your head is not something that's necessarily going to happen. As an example, people think that others will poison their food - it's so frightening that we try to think our way out of it, but our imagination keeps us contradicting all the evidence we throw at it.

The sooner we show that our imagination cannot control what happens in reality, the sooner we can get rid of those terrible thoughts that litter our heads. I could dream up the worst horror in my entire life, right inside of my head, but will it have any affect on my existence? Will that monster in my head come out and make those fears come to life? The answer is: *absolutely not.* What you dream up is not what will happen; just because you can imagine evidence for it happening, doesn't mean it'll happen either.

Focus on recovery.

Don't let your imagination make you feel threatened.

Source: 

_(Possible Trigger Warning: Just Thomism.)_


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## rainbowbutts (Jun 25, 2014)

'just because you can imagine evidence for it happening, doesn't mean it'll happen'

i needed that


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I came across something a little while back when I was obsessing over a philosophy, one very similar to Solipsism. I won't go into the exact details of it because there's really no point for me to say what the philosophy was, as it's not relevant to the importance of this post. What is important is this quote:
> 
> *This quote is essential into terminating those outlandish thoughts we may end up getting trapped in.*
> 
> ...


I wanted to know your thoughts on this:

I've been recovering for what feels like a lifetime (15 months) I sometimes get thoughts like if people are real, all that stuff, solipsism and the poisoning of food. I had a terrible moment when these thoughts came back with a vengeance after a year of it slowly going away, so I'm on anti-depressants, something i never thoughts I'd rely on, but they have kept the thoughts at bay and i feel at like 80%. I've felt at like 95% the months prior but they started to come back. Do you think that 1. I will fully recover, and 2.) the anti-depressants are hindering it? I now have very little brain fog at night, which is all that remains in the visual field, and its after the anti depressants that this has happened, it comes and goes every other night. This is exactly the kind of post i needed to read tonight. Thank you


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

Yes, I believe that if you put forth an effort towards recovery, you will fully recover!  As for your next question, I'm not much of a medications expert, but if the anti-depressants are helping, then I don't see why they would be a hindrance. We have a Pharmacology section that you might want to check out, others know much more than I on that front.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I came across something a little while back when I was obsessing over a philosophy, one very similar to Solipsism. I won't go into the exact details of it because there's really no point for me to say what the philosophy was, as it's not relevant to the importance of this post. What is important is this quote:
> 
> *This quote is essential into terminating those outlandish thoughts we may end up getting trapped in.*
> 
> ...


Man I have to read this over and over when i get those malicious thoughts in my head about everything. it seriously is like my imagination takes over, its crazy the way you put it. I just wonder what it is that makes us feel like that. All of a sudden we begin to freak out about ALL kinds of thoughts. Its crazy


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Man I have to read this over and over when i get those malicious thoughts in my head about everything. it seriously is like my imagination takes over, its crazy the way you put it. I just wonder what it is that makes us feel like that. All of a sudden we begin to freak out about ALL kinds of thoughts. Its crazy


Imagination is incredibly powerful and many underestimate it. I hope everything gets better for you!


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

I wrote something that branches off of this and I hope that this will help you as well: "Overthinking and Freedom from your Prisons"


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I came across something a little while back when I was obsessing over a philosophy, one very similar to Solipsism. I won't go into the exact details of it because there's really no point for me to say what the philosophy was, as it's not relevant to the importance of this post. What is important is this quote:
> 
> *This quote is essential into terminating those outlandish thoughts we may end up getting trapped in.*
> 
> ...


Hey I needed to ask you: how do you know thats all DP and not something worse? Like for example the poisoning of food by others, i have those thoughts constantly, and they feel real; its the only way I can explain this. I have all sorts of thoughts that are just what you said: malicious and just straight up bonkers. Like so far I wake up thinking that my dog has like a camera or something in his eyes and is relaying all this info to God knows who. I know its not true, I can throw all the evidence I want at it, but its like an intrusive thought, it comes and goes when it pleases. I watched a lot of supernatural growing up so sometimes reality feels like that, like I think the thought that people are demons, sometimes willingly, and again, it feels like its real. I think the moon is like a proyection or something sometimes. I used to have thoughts that people werent real or didnt have a consciousness because you can't really know, or if this is all in my head and im the only thing real and that switched with people feeling like they were robots, and truman show feelings. Mine was all induced from a panic attack after smoking weed which i had been doing constantly for like a year prior to the panic, and slowly all this started happening and hasnt all fully gone away. Anyway ive read people having all of these symptoms at one point or another on this site, but, like the demon ones or the poison ones, its hard to say that its just DP or part of Derealization. So, how do you know its all part of it and wont become something worse?


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

disquiet said:


> Wait so fear of food being drugged is normal of people with dp? I thought i was alone with that one tbh..


Many people experience paranoia when they're Depersonalized / Derealized - I've chalked it up to being hyper-awareness and state of fear that does this to us.



sirlee said:


> Hey I needed to ask you: how do you know thats all DP and not something worse? Like for example the poisoning of food by others, i have those thoughts constantly, and they feel real; its the only way I can explain this. I have all sorts of thoughts that are just what you said: malicious and just straight up bonkers. Like so far I wake up thinking that my dog has like a camera or something in his eyes and is relaying all this info to God knows who. I know its not true, I can throw all the evidence I want at it, but its like an intrusive thought, it comes and goes when it pleases. I watched a lot of supernatural growing up so sometimes reality feels like that, like I think the thought that people are demons, sometimes willingly, and again, it feels like its real. I think the moon is like a proyection or something sometimes. I used to have thoughts that people werent real or didnt have a consciousness because you can't really know, or if this is all in my head and im the only thing real and that switched with people feeling like they were robots, and truman show feelings. Mine was all induced from a panic attack after smoking weed which i had been doing constantly for like a year prior to the panic, and slowly all this started happening and hasnt all fully gone away. Anyway ive read people having all of these symptoms at one point or another on this site, but, like the demon ones or the poison ones, its hard to say that its just DP or part of Derealization. So, how do you know its all part of it and wont become something worse?


You said it yourself:

"I know it's not true, I can throw all the evidence I want at it, but it's like an intrusive thought, it comes and goes when it pleases."

With Depersonalization / Derealization, it's not so out-of-question to experience thoughts like these. The certain perspective of unreality comes with it's own edge; it puts individuals in a state of fear, hyper-awareness, and can toy with the emotions because of how traumatic the experience of unreality can be, especially with how fast it's thrust upon and individual. In this state of fear, many things can be interpreted as a threat, and since you're hyper-aware, you begin to make up your own threats to protect yourself.

For example; you think your dog has a camera because your dog is considered to be a positive thing, something without threat. Since you see this as positive, your hyper-awareness and fear *needs to make sure* that it's not a threat, so you come up with every possible conclusion of it being a threat to try and contradict it, just to make sure that it's safe. Of course, you never run out of anything negative to say about those things because your state of fear makes it so you obsessive over it. Depersonalization, the state of fear, and hyper-awareness makes this happen to you. Nothing more, nothing less.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> Many people experience paranoia when they're Depersonalized / Derealized - I've chalked it up to being hyper-awareness and state of fear that does this to us.
> 
> You said it yourself:
> 
> ...


Thanks man, you seem to know about this extensively. Do you think the other thoughts I told you about are a normal part of Depersonalization/Derealization?


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Thanks man, you seem to know about this extensively. Do you think the other thoughts I told you about are a normal part of Depersonalization/Derealization?


I've actually experienced the same thoughts you have before, oddly enough. To make my answer short; yes, it's a normal part of Depersonalization and Derealization. It's not indicative of anything else.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I've actually experienced the same thoughts you have before, oddly enough. To make my answer short; yes, it's a normal part of Depersonalization and Derealization. It's not indicative of anything else.


Damn, and you've had this disorder for quite a while, that doesn't bode well for me. I hope I recover :/ thanks for the good vibes and good news though


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Damn, and you've had this disorder for quite a while, that doesn't bode well for me. I hope I recover :/ thanks for the good vibes and good news though


Ah, I've only had it for a little under a year, not that long. You'll recover, just give it patience and time. Best of luck!


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> Ah, I've only had it for a little under a year, not that long. You'll recover, just give it patience and time. Best of luck!


Only a year? Damn you've posted so much though. Ah I hope so man, ive been like this for over 15 momnths  Painful as hell. Did you do drugs prior to this too?


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Only a year? Damn you've posted so much though. Ah I hope so man, ive been like this for over 15 momnths  Painful as hell. Did you do drugs prior to this too?


I did drugs prior, but they weren't the effect of my Depersonalization. I tried marijuana a few times, then synthetic weed (K2) about three times - I also tried the marijuana while I had Depersonalization with no detrimental or adverse effects.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

How are you so sure this is all depersonalization?


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

question above ^^^



SolomonOrlando said:


> I did drugs prior, but they weren't the effect of my Depersonalization. I tried marijuana a few times, then synthetic weed (K2) about three times - I also tried the marijuana while I had Depersonalization with no detrimental or adverse effects.


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> How are you so sure this is all depersonalization?


I'm sure this is Depersonalization because this stuff is not indicative of anything else. When you dissociate from yourself, you put yourself in a state of fear, and you end up thinking like you are thinking now. If:


You didn't think these things before Depersonalization.
You didn't have obsessive fearful thoughts before Depersonalization.
You weren't in a state of fear before Depersonalization. 

It's most likely Depersonalization. Now, can I be 100% certain? No, I'm no professional, I'm a sufferer like you, but these things that we are experience are more chalked up to be unreality and our fear for it then anything else.


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## Guest (Oct 11, 2014)

No offence to anyone but I think this thread's weird.

I can't understand why you don't honour your feelings instead of trying to push them away and discredit them?


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

Zed said:


> No offence to anyone but I think this thread's weird.
> 
> I can't understand why you don't honour your feelings instead of trying to push them away and discredit them?


When people are in a state of fear, they often come up with outlandish and imaginative scenarios that simply cannot happen, and will not happen. These scenarios can be very, very frightening and it's best to understand that, for a sufferer of these thoughts, that just because your imagination dreams it up, doesn't mean that it will necessarily happen. That's the point of this thread.


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## Guest (Oct 11, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> When people are in a state of fear, they often come up with outlandish and imaginative scenarios that simply cannot happen, and will not happen. These scenarios can be very, very frightening and it's best to understand that, for a sufferer of these thoughts, that just because your imagination dreams it up, doesn't mean that it will necessarily happen. That's the point of this thread.


Thanks Solomon. I see what you mean. I tend to reason with my fears more than just try and forget them or right them off as outlandish or just imagination going too far and forget about them as soon a possible.

Sometimes there's a fine line between what's imagination and what's not you know? Sometimes the fears inside us are there b/c of past experiences, sometimes not. Just reading this thread I get the feeling there's a line being pushed to dispel your fears as just imagination gone a bit too far. I dunno.. I could be wrong about that, it's just how I interpret it.


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

Zed said:


> Thanks Solomon. I see what you mean. I tend to reason with my fears more than just try and forget them or right them off as outlandish or just imagination going too far and forget about them as soon a possible.
> 
> Sometimes there's a fine line between what's imagination and what's not you know? Sometimes the fears inside us are there b/c of past experiences, sometimes not. Just reading this thread I get the feeling there's a line being pushed to dispel your fears as just imagination gone a bit too far. I dunno.. I could be wrong about that, it's just how I interpret it.


No, you're absolutely right. I tried to illustrate this at the beginning of the thread:



> When suffering from Depersonalization, people often have outlandish fears. While we can talk about the need to face our fears and isolate our immediate problems, we also need to solve the problems going on in our heads - when our imagination starts to twist and distort our thought patterns into something more malicious than it was prior to the obsessive thoughts. We need to understand that the fear in your head is not something that's necessarily going to happen. As an example, people think that others will poison their food - it's so frightening that we try to think our way out of it, but our imagination keeps us contradicting all the evidence we throw at it.
> 
> The sooner we show that our imagination cannot control what happens in reality, the sooner we can get rid of those terrible thoughts that litter our heads.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> When people are in a state of fear, they often come up with outlandish and imaginative scenarios that simply cannot happen, and will not happen. These scenarios can be very, very frightening and it's best to understand that, for a sufferer of these thoughts, that just because your imagination dreams it up, doesn't mean that it will necessarily happen. That's the point of this thread.


I feel ya man, and I an only hope that youre right. i went to visit some friends out of town this weekend and for the most part i was so good mentally speaking. I forgot my worries and i didnt feel distant at all from this world, idk how else to put it. My crazy thoughts weren't there, and as soon as I got back the thought about my mom poisoning my food got in my head, its pretty much only with her, the one person who loves me most in the world, its hard to think that its just DP you know? And i try hard to believe ill recover, i try everything, but its like being with her does something, even though shes a great mom. Idk man and then i have thoughts when im feeling very dp that like people are demons, (freaking supernatural, shouldnt have watched that show) and i feel like im losing my head, i just dont understand how this will go away. Sometimes it feels like im believing these thoughts and i cant tell right from wrong and it scares me cause it really feels like at those times im losing my head, i just tell myself that. Thanks for all the advice man


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> I feel ya man, and I an only hope that youre right. i went to visit some friends out of town this weekend and for the most part i was so good mentally speaking. I forgot my worries and i didnt feel distant at all from this world, idk how else to put it. My crazy thoughts weren't there, and as soon as I got back the thought about my mom poisoning my food got in my head, its pretty much only with her, the one person who loves me most in the world, its hard to think that its just DP you know? And i try hard to believe ill recover, i try everything, but its like being with her does something, even though shes a great mom. Idk man and then i have thoughts when im feeling very dp that like people are demons, (freaking supernatural, shouldnt have watched that show) and i feel like im losing my head, i just dont understand how this will go away. Sometimes it feels like im believing these thoughts and i cant tell right from wrong and it scares me cause it really feels like at those times im losing my head, i just tell myself that. Thanks for all the advice man


I think people who suffer from Depersonalization also feel rather alone, as the disorder isn't talked about or even understood to a proper extent by many. So, when you first suffer from Depersonalization and everything seems completely unreal, I believe that the sufferer believes that:


The reality around them is unreal, therefore, the people inside of that reality are unreal, as well. Making them more afraid to be alone without any route to get to recovery from this disorder.
They have no one to turn to because others lack the support skill to deal with a disorder that's usually not talked about at all. 

With that being said, I think you have a fear of being alone, as many sufferers of Depersonalization disorder have. We often imagine that people will suddenly die out and we'll be left stranded; we want that thought process in our head because we want to prepare ourselves for it if it happens. I think that's why you believe people are demons and why you have these intrusive thoughts with your mother - you're afraid that something will happen, therefore you need to think it in your head and come up with a scenario that provides you with survival.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I think people who suffer from Depersonalization also feel rather alone, as the disorder isn't talked about or even understood to a proper extent by many. So, when you first suffer from Depersonalization and everything seems completely unreal, I believe that the sufferer believes that:
> 
> 
> The reality around them is unreal, therefore, the people inside of that reality are unreal, as well. Making them more afraid to be alone without any route to get to recovery from this disorder.
> ...


and you think this is just all depersonalization?

I also have thoughts, more like, it feels as if the world is just robots. and when life makes some sense like when im invested into something and dont realize the thoughts are there im fine, but then i have thoughts of like what if, and it FEELS like its real, i want to believe its just my imagination and dp and nothing more and that I'll be fine.


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> and you think this is just all depersonalization?
> 
> I also have thoughts, more like, it feels as if the world is just robots. and when life makes some sense like when im invested into something and dont realize the thoughts are there im fine, but then i have thoughts of like what if, and it FEELS like its real, i want to believe its just my imagination and dp and nothing more and that I'll be fine.


I believe all of this is Depersonalization - it's just your imagination, m'friend.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I believe all of this is Depersonalization - it's just your imagination, m'friend.


Thanks so much for the kind words man, and for putting up with all of my questions. I seem to always get the same responses when im here yet I still find it hard to believe after so long. I hope you recover soon from all of this madness


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Thanks so much for the kind words man, and for putting up with all of my questions. I seem to always get the same responses when im here yet I still find it hard to believe after so long. I hope you recover soon from all of this madness


No worries; you can come into this thread at any time. I'd be happy to talk with you about anything if it made you feel better.  I hope you recover soon too!


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

sirlee said:


> so I'm on anti-depressants, something i never thoughts I'd rely on, but they have kept the thoughts at bay and i feel at like 80%.


Just something else to add...

I know you've had some fears of psychosis in the past, so the fact your are reacting positively to anti-depressants/SSRI's means that you DO NOT have a psychotic spectrum illness. That is hardline proof for you right there 

Hope this helps to put your mind at ease.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> No worries; you can come into this thread at any time. I'd be happy to talk with you about anything if it made you feel better.  I hope you recover soon too!


Thank you! 



yosemitedome said:


> Just something else to add...
> 
> I know you've had some fears of psychosis in the past, so the fact your are reacting positively to anti-depressants/SSRI's means that you DO NOT have a psychotic spectrum illness. That is hardline proof for you right there
> 
> Hope this helps to put your mind at ease.


Yeah, almost every day, and I'd like to believe that thats where the depression stemmed from. You're sure of this? also that this is all depersonalization?


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## Guest (Oct 25, 2014)

sirlee said:


> I feel ya man, and I an only hope that youre right. i went to visit some friends out of town this weekend and for the most part i was so good mentally speaking. I forgot my worries and i didnt feel distant at all from this world, idk how else to put it. My crazy thoughts weren't there, and as soon as I got back the thought about my mom poisoning my food got in my head, its pretty much only with her, the one person who loves me most in the world, its hard to think that its just DP you know? And i try hard to believe ill recover, i try everything, but its like being with her does something, even though shes a great mom. Idk man and then i have thoughts when im feeling very dp that like people are demons, (freaking supernatural, shouldnt have watched that show) and i feel like im losing my head, i just dont understand how this will go away. Sometimes it feels like im believing these thoughts and i cant tell right from wrong and it scares me cause it really feels like at those times im losing my head, i just tell myself that. Thanks for all the advice man


You just wrote down one reason why you get dissociative... "but its like being with her does something."

That's not imagination talking.

If you start trying to believe that all your fears are just imagination.. you're doing yourself a huge disfavour. And totally dishonouring your true feelings. And you'll stay stuck with DPD.


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## gygjghbj (Sep 26, 2013)

Very insightful thread. This is helping me already.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

yosemitedome said:


> Just something else to add...
> 
> I know you've had some fears of psychosis in the past, so the fact your are reacting positively to anti-depressants/SSRI's means that you DO NOT have a psychotic spectrum illness. That is hardline proof for you right there
> 
> Hope this helps to put your mind at ease.


hey yosemitedome, how are you so sure of this?



SolomonOrlando said:


> No worries; you can come into this thread at any time. I'd be happy to talk with you about anything if it made you feel better.  I hope you recover soon too!


Hey man, so today i felt like i was in a dream, basically like inception concept, with people being in my subconcious, its almost like im hyperaware, i felt like i couldnt tell reallity from madness. I had to tell myself well if im crazy im crazy nothing i can do to stop it. I dont understand why this is still happening though, am i not living my life the right way or what? Im confronting al my issues, more and more every day. any thoughts? am I crazy? jk, but seriously.



Zed said:


> You just wrote down one reason why you get dissociative... "but its like being with her does something."
> 
> That's not imagination talking.
> 
> If you start trying to believe that all your fears are just imagination.. you're doing yourself a huge disfavour. And totally dishonouring your true feelings. And you'll stay stuck with DPD.


What do you mean all of my fears, i know you dont mean that my mom is actually poisoning my food but the way it was worded it sounded like it. I dont know what i need to confront my mom about. All i know is im living with my family right now and i was not happy about it at first cause they fight so much but they havent lately and we have resovled a lot of our issues.


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Hey man, so today i felt like i was in a dream, basically like inception concept, with people being in my subconcious, its almost like im hyperaware, i felt like i couldnt tell reallity from madness. I had to tell myself well if im crazy im crazy nothing i can do to stop it. I dont understand why this is still happening though, am i not living my life the right way or what? Im confronting al my issues, more and more every day. any thoughts? am I crazy? jk, but seriously.


I don't think it's a matter of you living the wrong way, but rather you're attaching yourself to these thoughts and you're still indifferent towards whether or not they're true or false. With Depersonalization, especially from what you've described here (a false world, filled with people made from subconscious, and overarching "fake" world), you're in a state of fear and you're sensitive to such thoughts. That's why you're craving this reassurance because you've yet to stop giving substance to these thoughts. You need to cut the cord before you start dreaming up possibilities, before you start looking for ways to contradict the inevitable falsity of your thoughts. I've taken some tips from a self-help board, I've used these and they help exponentially.



> With the intrusive thoughts themselves:
> 
> 
> Label them as intrusive and obsessive. They're not real, they're not going to hurt you. You're in control, always.
> ...


You're questioning whether or not you're living the appropriate way, but I think you need to be questioning whether or not you're dealing with these thoughts properly. You're dealing with anxiety and Depersonalization, your thought processes may be a bit weak at the moment, just because you're so susceptible to philosophical and intrusive thought processes. Try dealing with the thoughts instead of giving them substance, then see if anything has changed later on.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I don't think it's a matter of you living the wrong way, but rather you're attaching yourself to these thoughts and you're still indifferent towards whether or not they're true or false. With Depersonalization, especially from what you've described here (a false world, filled with people made from subconscious, and overarching "fake" world), you're in a state of fear and you're sensitive to such thoughts. That's why you're craving this reassurance because you've yet to stop giving substance to these thoughts. You need to cut the cord before you start dreaming up possibilities, before you start looking for ways to contradict the inevitable falsity of your thoughts. I've taken some tips from a self-help board, I've used these and they help exponentially.
> 
> You're questioning whether or not you're living the appropriate way, but I think you need to be questioning whether or not you're dealing with these thoughts properly. You're dealing with anxiety and Depersonalization, your thought processes may be a bit weak at the moment, just because you're so susceptible to philosophical and intrusive thought processes. Try dealing with the thoughts instead of giving them substance, then see if anything has changed later on.


You're right, the thing is that i have been doing that, for 16 months now, I am not new to this anymore, and dont take it the wrong way, Im so glad you replied, like you guys are more helpful than any psychologists out there, thats the main reason that i decided not to be a psychologist anymore. All I'm trying to say is is this from the weed and acid I did for like a year non stop? ( talking about the weed) or like is this something that i just got and its going to go away cause fuck man this sucks. I will read it once again and again and again, but i feel like theres gotta be a permanent way of getting rid of this


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> You're right, the thing is that i have been doing that, for 16 months now, I am not new to this anymore, and dont take it the wrong way, Im so glad you replied, like you guys are more helpful than any psychologists out there, thats the main reason that i decided not to be a psychologist anymore. All I'm trying to say is is this from the weed and acid I did for like a year non stop? ( talking about the weed) or like is this something that i just got and its going to go away cause fuck man this sucks. I will read it once again and again and again, but i feel like theres gotta be a permanent way of getting rid of this


For people with obsessive thoughts like yourself, I think there's a certain predisposition to it. The only way that you can permanently recover is by understanding the thoughts and following a set guidelines for dealing with them without psyching yourself out and making yourself anxious. You say you've been doing that for 16 months, but you continue to have these thoughts, so there's definitely room for improvement. If you're looking for things that can help you besides working with your thoughts, I'd say:


Get a good sleep routine, get a good diet, and get a good exercise routine. 
Distract yourself with constructive hobbies and keep yourself busy.
Get rid of anything in your life that causes you distress (relationships, certain addictions, etc).

These can help shorten the time it takes to get rid of this obsessive thought process and start working better to get rid of it if it comes anyway.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> For people with obsessive thoughts like yourself, I think there's a certain predisposition to it. The only way that you can permanently recover is by understanding the thoughts and following a set guidelines for dealing with them without psyching yourself out and making yourself anxious. You say you've been doing that for 16 months, but you continue to have these thoughts, so there's definitely room for improvement. If you're looking for things that can help you besides working with your thoughts, I'd say:
> 
> 
> Get a good sleep routine, get a good diet, and get a good exercise routine.
> ...


this predisposition is crazy though cause before my weed induced panic attack i had never even remotely experienced this!!! 
Dude, thank you SOOO much for your support, I appreciate the concern, and yeah its mostly that every time this happens I assume im going to start going crazy.


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> Dude, thank you SOOO much for your support, I appreciate the concern, and yeah its mostly that every time this happens I assume im going to start going crazy.


I'm happy to help, whenever you need it! 

Just don't assume you'll go crazy because, chances are, you're most definitely not.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> I'm happy to help, whenever you need it!
> 
> Just don't assume you'll go crazy because, chances are, you're most definitely not.


you saying that there is a chance i might go crazy or that theres not, that was an interesting play on words.


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

sirlee said:


> you saying that there is a chance i might go crazy or that theres not, that was an interesting play on words.


No, I was not saying that there you were going to go crazy. I was saying that all other options are so infinitesimally small that there's no reason to think you're going crazy.


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## Guest (Oct 29, 2014)

sirlee said:


> What do you mean all of my fears, i know you dont mean that my mom is actually poisoning my food but the way it was worded it sounded like it. I dont know what i need to confront my mom about. All i know is im living with my family right now and i was not happy about it at first cause they fight so much but they havent lately and we have resovled a lot of our issues.


Sorry Sirlee I don't think I worded my response too well.. I'll try again.

What I meant was, there appears to be a reason why you felt DPD'd (and having intrusive thoughts) when you got back home. You mentioned when you were hanging out with your friends out of town you felt ok. But then, when you got back home.. things started going downhill for you. There's a connection there don't you think? You could always see what happens next time you leave your house and how you feel, then see if there's any change when you get back home again.. Try that.

When I said 'If you start trying to believe that all your fears are just imagination.. you're doing yourself a huge disfavour. And totally dishonouring your true feelings. And you'll stay stuck with DPD. ' .. What I was trying to say is.. We all have fears. Some of them are there for a reason (ultimately they can protect us). To give an example. A lot of people have a fear of heights. Why? That fear's there to protect us, so we're very alert and careful. Sure, some fears are irrational, but some aren't. Best not to try and fob off ALL your fears as irrational.. It's better to try and understand them than to just attempt to forget them&#8230; b/c that doesn't work. Try looking at your fears and trying to understand where they might come from. That'll give you more insight in how to deal with them.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

Zed said:


> Sorry Sirlee I don't think I worded my response too well.. I'll try again.
> 
> What I meant was, there appears to be a reason why you felt DPD'd (and having intrusive thoughts) when you got back home. You mentioned when you were hanging out with your friends out of town you felt ok. But then, when you got back home.. things started going downhill for you. There's a connection there don't you think? You could always see what happens next time you leave your house and how you feel, then see if there's any change when you get back home again.. Try that.
> 
> When I said 'If you start trying to believe that all your fears are just imagination.. you're doing yourself a huge disfavour. And totally dishonouring your true feelings. And you'll stay stuck with DPD. ' .. What I was trying to say is.. We all have fears. Some of them are there for a reason (ultimately they can protect us). To give an example. A lot of people have a fear of heights. Why? That fear's there to protect us, so we're very alert and careful. Sure, some fears are irrational, but some aren't. Best not to try and fob off ALL your fears as irrational.. It's better to try and understand them than to just attempt to forget them&#8230; b/c that doesn't work. Try looking at your fears and trying to understand where they might come from. That'll give you more insight in how to deal with them.


I appreciate all the input, and yeah you're right, but i havent been running away from the thoughts, its strange, I mean it sounds like you're saying my fear that my mom is trying to poison me or that im going crazy, i should pay attention to it, but shes just a person that bitches to me all the time and is always so critical, yet she loves me and has made so many sacrifices for me, if anything i worry about her cause she has put up with so much shit from my stepdads family that i worry shes going to snap before i ever fucking do, so I dont know maybe that is related, other than that i dont know what you could possibly mean by saying that this fear might be substantiated, i hope im reading it wrong, because thats the last thing i want to be hearing. Its strange though, i have been on anti depressants for the first time ever, and i havent had those thoughts and the psychic pain associated with it since i started on them, or at least less and less. Weird


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## Guest (Oct 30, 2014)

sirlee said:


> I appreciate all the input, and yeah you're right, but i havent been running away from the thoughts, its strange, I mean it sounds like you're saying my fear that my mom is trying to poison me or that im going crazy, i should pay attention to it, but shes just a person that bitches to me all the time and is always so critical, yet she loves me and has made so many sacrifices for me, if anything i worry about her cause she has put up with so much shit from my stepdads family that i worry shes going to snap before i ever fucking do, so I dont know maybe that is related, other than that i dont know what you could possibly mean by saying that this fear might be substantiated, i hope im reading it wrong, because thats the last thing i want to be hearing. Its strange though, i have been on anti depressants for the first time ever, and i havent had those thoughts and the psychic pain associated with it since i started on them, or at least less and less. Weird


No I'm not saying your mum might be trying to poison you at all, or that you're going crazy. You need to re-read what I wrote.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> No, I was not saying that there you were going to go crazy. I was saying that all other options are so infinitesimally small that there's no reason to think you're going crazy.


I gotcha man, and i just hope youre right. Im slowly weaning off the anti depressants and today i had my first day without its effects, and i was a mess, i felt the DP veil so badly on my way back from work and all the ideas about the world being full of people as robots and the idea of consciousness and being in a dream all came to kick my ass. I seriously wanted to be dead about an hour ago, it was painful and I hadn't felt like that since i got on the meds. I dont know if when i get depressed i become ocd about these thoughts or if when i get ocd i get depressed, i know they are comorbid, but im scared its not ocd but like delirium or something bad, i tried really hard to just accept the crazy thoughts, and even believe them, i felt pain and despair and i like i was starting to actually believe them. It sucks today, like really sucks and i just want to believe that time will cure this or what i need to do, i feel like ive confronted all of my family problems and i try every single day, i dont know what to do. I just wanted to share this with someone.



Zed said:


> No I'm not saying your mum might be trying to poison you at all, or that you're going crazy. You need to re-read what I wrote.


I get you man, and i appreciate you looking out for me on this site, it means so much, its just that I know when something makes sense or not or when to be wary of a situation, but with some of these delusional thoughts I don't know how to eradicate them; what to do to make them go away for good, if its time or something i need to deal with that I'm just not and I have no idea how to tap into them or become enlightened and understand where it stems from. I wanna heal myself. It so sad, i studied psychology at a higly recognized university but i cant even help myself.


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## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

yosemitedome said:


> Just something else to add...
> 
> I know you've had some fears of psychosis in the past, so the fact your are reacting positively to anti-depressants/SSRI's means that you DO NOT have a psychotic spectrum illness. That is hardline proof for you right there
> 
> Hope this helps to put your mind at ease.


wish you would reply to this man, and to what i wrote on the post above this. you seem to know a lot and i would like my mind at ease again.


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