# Stages of DP?



## Tanith (May 29, 2008)

Has anyone kinda like went through different stages of DP?

For me it started out as something minor and I brushed it off until the feeling got worse and worse. It then became what I can only really describe as being a battle in my mind, had weird feelings in the front of my head that I really can't put into words. I then went through stages of feeling like every day was a living hell and pondered suicide but then I over analysed death and concluded that I didn't want to die. But now its like a state of nothingness. The inside of my head just feels like a blank: no random thoughts, no weird feelings and just feels like empty space.

The thing I noticed most about the stage I'm currently in is the lack of caring about things: I don't care about my University work. I know that its important but to me it just doesn't feel important. Its like I'm in the deluded state that no matter what I do everything will be perfectly fine. I still feel like im on automation but the DP itself has also fallen into the category of not caring about anything: I don't care that I have DP, it doesn't feel as horrible as it once was but the side effect of not caring about things that are important is what is currently worrying me.

Would you say in your experiences that there are various different stages of DP? and is anyone currently in a similar stage that I am in?


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Tanith said:


> Has anyone kinda like went through different stages of DP?
> 
> For me it started out as something minor and I brushed it off until the feeling got worse and worse. It then became what I can only really describe as being a battle in my mind, had weird feelings in the front of my head that I really can't put into words. I then went through stages of feeling like every day was a living hell and pondered suicide but then I over analysed death and concluded that I didn't want to die. But now its like a state of nothingness. The inside of my head just feels like a blank: no random thoughts, no weird feelings and just feels like empty space.
> 
> ...


That's EXACTLY what happened with me.. except that I've been feeling completely blank the last few days, but once in a while I still get those scary thoughts about what happens after death, and how the universe came up etc. What I can really notice is that I completely forgot my old self, how I used to feel, making me really sad whenever I think of it


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Tanith said:


> Has anyone kinda like went through different stages of DP?
> 
> For me it started out as something minor and I brushed it off until the feeling got worse and worse. It then became what I can only really describe as being a battle in my mind, had weird feelings in the front of my head that I really can't put into words. I then went through stages of feeling like every day was a living hell and pondered suicide but then I over analysed death and concluded that I didn't want to die. But now its like a state of nothingness. The inside of my head just feels like a blank: no random thoughts, no weird feelings and just feels like empty space.
> 
> ...


Sounds similar to my experience too.

At first I had some DP episodes that wasn't intense and I didn't know what it was. Then when my anxiety and depression got bad, I had strong episodes of DP that soon after got chronic. It was hell at first. I had every symptom of DP/DR possible. The DR was the harder part. My vision was so weird and I felt so cut off inside a thick fog. I don't remember how much time this stage lasted. But the DP feeling sure change for me. This last year I had mostly DP. And like you, I feel on a stage of nothingness. Everything you mentioned. I feel like a zombie, don't care of anything. I feel there's nothing inside me. I forgot how it like to feel I have a soul and a sense of self.

Today my friend told to my other friend that she doesn't look like herself (my friend is always very active but she was sick today). So my friend told her that she is sick. and then my other friend anwsered that she looks apathetic the way I look every single day. She was laughing but that's true. I got apathetic to my life and I don't really care about it.


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## Tanith (May 29, 2008)

The annoying things is that its rather hard to tell in these stages if the DP is improving or getting worse. Like I don't care that I have DP, doesn't feel as much of a living hell as it once did (could be classed as an improvement) but I also don't care about other things and just feel like I'm in a state of nothingness (could be classed as getting worse).


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## Teresa (Nov 23, 2009)

Yes,I have had different stages of DP. It started with very intense DP and DR...

The worst kind: Im not quite sure WHO I am... I kinda know what my name is, but Im so much in doubt that I once had to look at my social security-card to be sure. This stage of DP is very frigtening... I wake up in the night still "in the dream" and cant get out of it. My thoughts are wierd and not "normal"

The next stage: I still feel disorrientated all the time, and more at night. Im wondering if this is the real or if im in my own reality... I also cant look at forexsample my hands because sometimes one of my hands look different... like its not mine... When I hear my own voice it sound like its not mine. My reflection in the mirror looks like somebody elses... But still I kinda know its me.

Light DP: Still a bit disorrientated, but I feel more awake and Im ore sure that this is my real reality. Im also more happy and feel that its goind to get better. I still have very vivid dreams, but I feel more of a difference between dream and reality...

The last 3 month I have switched between the middle stage and light stage, but when it was the worst, I was 4 times at the psych hospital to talk to them because I was freaking out. I think they have hear it many time before because they just said that they know it hard, but I need to get therapy and relaxe... time and Therapy will heal it...

And by the way... I used to work at a lab, and use a lot of mathematic and chemestry. I cant do it today. My thoughts/head wont work... I think I need to learn it all over


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## kaitlyn_b (Jun 9, 2010)

Wow. I definitely have gone thru stages. Mine started out as major and I basically lived in mental anguish, not content for 3 weeks straight. No sleep, no food, nightmares, suicidal thoughts….Then it SLOWLY started to lighten. Now I am in a light stage of DR but I’m still a little disoriented and have the distorted vision. I also have noticed a big difference in my current coordination. Whereas I used to be pretty sharp, I’m now struggling to type this email without screwing up every single word. Hopefully the next step is full recovery…..keeping up the praying!! =)


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