# Ok, now i'm offically freaking out



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

This whole atmosphere thing has now gotten to the point where I cannot tell what is real and what isn't. It's just this intense feeling that I am in another place and time. I cannot seem to separate in my mind if I'm really there or here. One moment I feel like I might just be getting better and the next I honestly cannot tell if I am feeling better or if I am just feeling this atmosphere feeling. The thing is that all of these atmosphere feelings make me sort of like daydreamy. Like I get caught up in that feeling in my mind and then I can't separate who I was when I felt that way from who I am now. I am REALLY starting to freak out. I don't know if this is hallucinating or DID or something but I am seriously wondering if I am losing grip on my mind! Could it just be this sickness messing with me? This morning my throat is less swollen and pain but now my ears hurt really badly. Ug.


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## kerplunkett (Jan 3, 2011)

feeling the same way :/ and btw what do you mean about ur throat? i felt the same way and it finally has gotten better what is this from?


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kerplunkett said:


> feeling the same way :/ and btw what do you mean about ur throat? i felt the same way and it finally has gotten better what is this from?


 I have strep throat.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I have the same thing!! It's horrible!! It's so exactly how you are describing it! Some memory pops up, and it might feel like some sort of relief, like I'm me, but then it hits me it's only me as I felt THEN, or is it?? I thought I was getting a little bit better before christmas, but now I'm really not sure. This symptom has been at it's worst the last three months or so. It's like I'm just an onlooker of emotions attached to memories trailing by in my mind. There is no solid me who feels anything real at all.. I'm changing identities, or the feeling of my identity changes, like 20 times a day.. Yeah, DID, that'd be just swell wouldn't it. There is just no end to the nightmare.

Feel better with the throat and all..


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

York- well I suppose that maybe if you've had this symptom for a couple of months and haven't gotten did it probably is just another annoying dp symptom that we will have to learn to deal with


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## BusyBee (Aug 7, 2010)

"I thought i was getting a little bit better before christmas, but now I'm really not sure. "

Yep. I took a real turn for the worse in the new year, but I wonder, am i just getting used to my new slightly better self?

I too get the dreamy feeling. Id say thats my scariest symptom left. It was bad when the world didnt seem real, but when you get this moment when you think, 'am I real?' that is bloody scary. Its more of a feeling. Dissolving.. anyone would think i was on acid.

Ive worked it out, its like dissacociation that you cant snap out of. Like, chemistry class is boring so you start thinking about walking in the park, but then you snap back into chemistry. But with this, you wonder where youve gone. Im pretty sure I dont have DID. Just another symptom of DP..


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I feel like it's a combination of having no connection to my "self" (hopefully it's still in there somewhere), and a permanent state of hypnosis. It's like I can't shut the door to my subconscious and everything gets mixed up..

I have to say I think it's gotten better after I cut back on the benzo. I think I'm more connected to reality and I def have less flashbacks than I did a while ago.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

I'm feeling the same way really, I'm freaking out


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## Deleted Account (Jul 26, 2010)

this is so weird...I too am feeling this way, I keep having memories pop up that I had forgotten and sometimes I feel like the dp wants to lift. that would be so cool if we were all cured, here's hoping


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## kaitlyn_b (Jun 9, 2010)

Hi Sarah. Before recovery, my atmosphere completely changed. And I could feel it physically which was weird. I still have the visual issues from the Dr, but all in all that's it. I can remember waking up and driving to work getting lost or missing turns literally. One thing I've definitely noticed now though that's strange is I don't forget things anymore. Before Dr, I would lose things or forget plans etc....now it seems I don't do that hardly ever. Maybe because I'm so concerned I will that I pay better attention. In reality for me, recovery was so slow that I barely noticed it..but I noticed the physical effects like the buzz in my head or the actual visual aide effects. Look at it as one more step towards recovery







happy dp free days...


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> I get caught up in that feeling in my mind and then *I can't separate who I was when I felt that way from who I am now.* I am REALLY starting to freak out. I don't know if this is hallucinating or DID or something but I am seriously wondering if I am losing grip on my mind! Could it just be this sickness messing with me? This morning my throat is less swollen and pain but now my ears hurt really badly. Ug.


I have something like this but it's more like OCD for me in that i obsess over it and have mental compulsions around it. Like i'll measure myself from moment to moment and look back on my memories and wonder if that was me or if that was someone else.

Like i'll have a shower and think to myself ok i'm me i'm not a split personality or anything, then 30 mins to a half hour later i'll look back on my memory of that shower and common sense dictates i'm still that same person, but because i feel so detached from myself i then feel detached from my memories if that makes any sense and it'll cause me anxiety and the cycle continues. Another would be thinking to myself while at school, will i be the same person when i get home or will i be completely different. Then i get depressed and think whats the point of doing anything it just becomes a memory.

Stems back from my younger years when i first had anxiety and i was scared i was getting schizophrenia cause i felt so detached, unreal and just not myself, and back then i thought schizophrenia was multiple personality disorder.

First time i ever wrote this obsession out because it's been hard to put into words but now that it's into words i can see how much it doesn't make sense. But with OCD things don't have to make sense for you to obsess over them unfortunately and these obsessions only come up when i'm feeling real bad DP/DR, when i'm going good with no DP/DR i sometimes get the thoughts but pay no mind to them.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

It's gotta be strep throat related. Maybe you're feeling a rush from histamine release as a result of your infection, or maybe it's your autoimmune system kicking in trying to fight it. Or maybe the strep infection has spread and is affecting you in ways you didn't think possible. Probably affecting your sleep too. Are you sleeping well?


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## Teresa (Nov 23, 2009)

Im also totally out of it... Most of the day im in a involuntary daydream.. A feeling of a dream Ive have dreamed long ago... Its so scary, and when its on top off the DR and DP I terrible... Im in a whole other univers...


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## Cacophony_of_whispers (Jan 9, 2011)

I'm new to this site, but believe me all of this sounds very, very familiar...
... I can't offer much in the way of advice or help but here is what helps me if I'm freaking out..

1. Adrenaline/Endorphines. Get up, do something. Run/walk/press-ups/jump of something(safe height)/get it on. Though simple this trick go a bit deeper than distraction. A rush of the body's natural feel good hormones is like an anxiety antidote. Sure they won't get rid of the alien feelings you are experiencing but at least you will feel OK.

2. Find something that you can "ground to". This is difficult to explain. It is a re-assurance technique I realized I was doing automatically. First thing to do is find something that has meaning to you or re-assures you. I use my pulse. So when i feel like I'm gonna fall of the earth or I am going completely insane I check my pulse... Breathe, and re-assure myself that reality is not going to dissolve(<wry joke).

Hope this helps.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

These feelings have gone completely away. It must have been whatever the illness was doing to my mind.


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## Cacophony_of_whispers (Jan 9, 2011)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> These feelings have gone completely away. It must have been whatever the illness was doing to my mind.


Fleeting and alien feelings...
... Horrible isn't it?


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## BlackParasol (Nov 25, 2010)

mmafighter said:


> I have something like this but it's more like OCD for me in that i obsess over it and have mental compulsions around it. Like i'll measure myself from moment to moment and look back on my memories and wonder if that was me or if that was someone else. ... First time i ever wrote this obsession out because it's been hard to put into words but now that it's into words i can see how much it doesn't make sense.


It absolutely makes sense, and I have experienced it before myself.


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