# how are you supporting yourselves financially?



## perd (Oct 17, 2011)

how are you supporting yourselves financially?


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2012)

I'm on benefits (UK). I can't work with this + agoraphobia.


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2012)

i work


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## Darklife (Apr 17, 2012)

Work from home , would be better if i was on the outside but for the moment going out of my safe zone is unbearable :/


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## katieq (Oct 15, 2012)

I work in a restaurant. It can be stressful as hell, needless to say, I've had the last 2 weeks off, until I start therapy. Thank god my bosses are so supportive and caring...


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## SongBillong (Sep 20, 2011)

I've had a few jobs but they've been ones where I don't have to talk to people thankfully. Nowadays, I get about £70 a week (in education allowances or whatever it's called) for food etc. but only spend about £4/week (super scrimper ;D) so I'm basically sorted for the next three years while I'm at university. I probably will need to get a job, though, because I'll end up hiding away for the aforementioned three years and then freak out when I have to actually earn money again.


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## aulds (Jun 5, 2012)

i work at a restaurant as a bartender.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Child support, food and housing assistance and financial aid from going to school full time.


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## Neko (Feb 18, 2006)

I work part-time in retail commission sales. I go to school full-time and live at home at the moment. I'm going to graduate this winter semester and then hopefully get a fulltime job lined up.


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## wellsiee (Jun 25, 2009)

I'm currently not working, however I aim to get a job in the near future, if someone hires me of course. Working is definitely hard, but it's definitley possible.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

how does dp prevent anyone from working? i dont mean to sound like a dick but I really just dont get it? dp made me scared of like nothing i can go out anywhere where as before i would be to shy/scared.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

mmarcus said:


> how does dp prevent anyone from working? i dont mean to sound like a dick but I really just dont get it? dp made me scared of like nothing i can go out anywhere where as before i would be to shy/scared.


Everyone has a different severity of dp. For the first two years, especially the first year and a half, my symptoms were so strong I was paralyzed. The unreality, constantly feeling like I didn't know where I was, conplete disconnect from my own body and sense of self was completely crippling. I felt like I had drank a 5th of tequilla and was near black out drunk 24 hours a day. I would walk 10 feet to the bathroom and have a massive panic attack because I felt like I got lost and didn't know where I was. If I took a shower and closed my eyes in the water, even for 10 seconds, I felt like I would disappear and opening them again I wouldn't know where I was. Talking, moving, having other people talk to me, even eating all were more than I could deal with. So I laid in bed. For a year and a half.

I know of people who have dp and can still muscle through working and I know many, like me, who are a total trainwreck and can't even deal with daily functioning. It's different for everyone.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> Everyone has a different severity of dp. For the first two years, especially the first year and a half, my symptoms were so strong I was paralyzed. The unreality, constantly feeling like I didn't know where I was, conplete disconnect from my own body and sense of self was completely crippling. I felt like I had drank a 5th of tequilla and was near black out drunk 24 hours a day. I would walk 10 feet to the bathroom and have a massive panic attack because I felt like I got lost and didn't know where I was. If I took a shower and closed my eyes in the water, even for 10 seconds, I felt like I would disappear and opening them again I wouldn't know where I was. Talking, moving, having other people talk to me, even eating all were more than I could deal with. So I laid in bed. For a year and a half.
> 
> I know of people who have dp and can still muscle through working and I know many, like me, who are a total trainwreck and can't even deal with daily functioning. It's different for everyone.


yea its definitely a subjective experience theres no way to tell whose is more severe. i mean i experienced the things you described in the beggining for like a month and it scared the hell out of me all i could do was lay in bed. but i got used to it and understood that it was just dp taking away my emotions. places still look unfamiliar to me but it doesnt really phase me because i know its dp inhibiting my emotions.i still have full blown dp a lot of the time but i can manage. i just feel like after a few months of dp people should be able to understand/get used to dp and live life normally. saying u cant even keep a job with dp makes this disorder seem way worse than it is.


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2012)

mmarcus said:


> how does dp prevent anyone from working? i dont mean to sound like a dick but I really just dont get it? dp made me scared of like nothing i can go out anywhere where as before i would be to shy/scared.


For me it's teamed with the panic attacks/agoraphobia so it's mostly a fear-based avoidance behaviour in my case.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

mmarcus said:


> yea its definitely a subjective experience theres no way to tell whose is more severe. i mean i experienced the things you described in the beggining for like a month and it scared the hell out of me all i could do was lay in bed. but i got used to it and understood that it was just dp taking away my emotions. places still look unfamiliar to me but it doesnt really phase me because i know its dp inhibiting my emotions.i still have full blown dp a lot of the time but i can manage. i just feel like after a few months of dp people should be able to understand/get used to dp and live life normally. saying u cant even keep a job with dp makes this disorder seem way worse than it is.


I think that's a really small minded way to think. I mean, you had it easy that you were able to function after a month. Most people do not have the same experience and to say that you think everyone should be able to follow the same path and timeline you did is, frankly, rediculous. There are a hundred tiny things that make each of our experiences with this disorder difference. The cause, the severity of symptoms, our current living situations, our current emotional relationships, our past experiences, other emotional or mental issues, etc all effect the severity of the dp, how well we deal with it and the rate at which we heal. It's extremely wrong to be like "you should be at this point because I was". We are all here because we all suffer from this awful disorder. Lets give each other encouragement and support not judgement.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> I think that's a really small minded way to think. I mean, you had it easy that you were able to function after a month. Most people do not have the same experience and to say that you think everyone should be able to follow the same path and timeline you did is, frankly, rediculous. There are a hundred tiny things that make each of our experiences with this disorder difference. The cause, the severity of symptoms, our current living situations, our current emotional relationships, our past experiences, other emotional or mental issues, etc all effect the severity of the dp, how well we deal with it and the rate at which we heal. It's extremely wrong to be like "you should be at this point because I was". We are all here because we all suffer from this awful disorder. Lets give each other encouragement and support not judgement.


im saying that pure dp should not stop someone from working. i guess i can see where if people have other factors like relationship problems ,severe comorbid disorders,etc then that can stop them from working.


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## spudgirl (Sep 29, 2012)

I have a full time office job, though I had to take three weeks off when I first got DP. I'm also supported by my boyfriend, but he'd probably dump me if I let my anxiety and depression get the best of me. My parents help me out when they can, but they barely have their own shit together. My job isn't hard but sitting alone in front of a computer for 8 hours under flourescent lights doesn't help my spaced out feelings. I feel like if I had a more intellectually fulfilling job it would help my condition - I guess I should consider myself lucky that I'm able to have a job at all, but I certainly don't FEEL lucky.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

mmarcus said:


> im saying that pure dp should not stop someone from working. i guess i can see where if people have other factors like relationship problems ,severe comorbid disorders,etc then that can stop them from working.


I completely 100% disagree with you. You don't seem to be getting what I'm saying so let me be blunt. YOU CLEARLY HAVE A MILD CASE OF DP. JUST BECAUSE YOUR EXPERIENCE IS MILD DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE ELSE'S IS TOO. In fact, you are in the minority if your experience with dp leads you to believe that it isn't crippling enough to prevent people from working. I mean, neat for you man but stop making generalizations and saying everyone should live by them. Gah.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> I completely 100% disagree with you. You don't seem to be getting what I'm saying so let me be blunt. YOU CLEARLY HAVE A MILD CASE OF DP. JUST BECAUSE YOUR EXPERIENCE IS MILD DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE ELSE'S IS TOO. In fact, you are in the minority if your experience with dp leads you to believe that it isn't crippling enough to prevent people from working. I mean, neat for you man but stop making generalizations and saying everyone should live by them. Gah.


sry didnt mean to piss u off so much. but u cant say my dp is mild are u my body?? i wish it was mild


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

mmarcus said:


> sry didnt mean to piss u off so much. but u cant say my dp is mild are u my body?? i wish it was mild


What makes me think your dp is mild is that you said you were much improved after a month and the fact that you seem to think dp, on it's own, is not a severe enough experience to prevent people from working. You CLEARLY have not experienced severe dp. Because at 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, I was literally unable to leave my bed, unable to bathe, unable to eat, severely suicidal. I was not even capable of sucessfully functioning on a basic level. There is no freaking way I could have worked. And that's not me making dp out to be worse than it is. That is dp and it's how dp is for the majority of people here. So yeah it does upset me.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> What makes me think your dp is mild is that you said you were much improved after a month and the fact that you seem to think dp, on it's own, is not a severe enough experience to prevent people from working. You CLEARLY have not experienced severe dp. Because at 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, I was literally unable to leave my bed, unable to bathe, unable to eat, severely suicidal. I was not even capable of sucessfully functioning on a basic level. There is no freaking way I could have worked. And that's not me making dp out to be worse than it is. That is dp and it's how dp is for the majority of people here. So yeah it does upset me.


ok. well i meant im much improved at dealing with dp not that my dp is less severe. my dp didnt magically get better on its own i just got better at managing it.


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2012)

I totaly agree with ValleyGirl, the only grounds for what you are saying is within your own experience, and if you think it's easy enough to work, then DP hasn't got that bad for you. Even you would not be able to work if it was bad enough. This thing leads people to want to die because it's so crippling for them. Can those people work? I don't think so. If you can't say... brush your teeth, wash yourself, feed yourself, (and some people get to this point with DP alone) then how the hell can you take orders, complete tasks, gain a job let alone maintain a job?

Some people with DP can work because it's just not that bad for them. Some, on the other hand, can barely function.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

How does dp make u unable to bathe, eat, brush ur teeth, etc lol?? its a dissociative disorder its not freakin alzheimers. im sorry but ur alls view of dp is very skewed. who are all these people who have dp so bad that they cant even eat?? if they put in the thought to right a post i think they can eat


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2012)

It depends on what kind of task is easy for them or not. It's not always about what makes sense, it's about what they can handle. A life lived deep in DP and fear will lead someone to avoid all sorts of things, as Valleygirl said, she was restricted to her bed. Dp can be disabling. It's real, it happens, face the facts.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

exactly ur proving my point. its not how severe his or dp is its how he or she deals with it. so ur saying the fear held her back. she feared it and thats why she was restricted to her bed but the truth is nothing was stopping her but fear. after u realize what dp is and can stop fearing it there should be nothing that can stop u from working.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

mmarcus said:


> How does dp make u unable to bathe, eat, brush ur teeth, etc lol?? its a dissociative disorder its not freakin alzheimers. im sorry but ur alls view of dp is very skewed. who are all these people who have dp so bad that they cant even eat?? if they put in the thought to right a post i think they can eat


As I've stated clearly before, I was one of those people. For me, the intensity of my symptoms was so severe that I was terrified of everything. As I said before, it literally felt like I was black out drunk all of the time. I lost 80% of the feeling in my body. I couldn't feel anything except extreme hot/cold and pain. I couldn't physically feel my own body. I lost my sense of smell, taste, touch, and my vision was (and still is) 2-d. I had the constant overwhelming feeling that I had no idea who I was. I remember feeling like I was a tiny alien sitting in the head of a giant robot body that I had no connection to or control over. I had no emotions except fear and sadness. I felt like I didn't know who my husband was, who my children were, and felt nothing for them. Not a single ounce of love or attachment. I also constantly felt like I didn't know where I was. I logically knew my address but the feeling of not knowing was so overwhelming that I believed the feeling instead of logic. I had no connection to anything, including my body or sense of self. I remember that I had this feeling in my head like my body was on fire. I felt severely disconnected but in the way that way too much alcohol disconnects you. Talking, moving, listening to other people talk, seeing other people move were all totally overwhelming to me. They exaggerated my already severely overwhelming symptoms. So I couldn't handle it. That's why I was unable to eat or bathe or get out of ned. Because I was totally disconnected from my own body, from my sense of self, from reality, from everything and everyone around me.

I mean, honestly, I feel like I'm waisting my breath because you seem like a very subborn ignorant person who decides what they believe and absolutely refuses to listen to any logic but, I find your assumptions and accusstions completely ignorant so I feel the need to educate you and stand up for those you keep insulting. I honestly don't believe you understand what severe dp is like and you can't unless you've lived it. It's like yelling at a brain surgeon that they're doing something wrong when you're a janitor in the operating room. Unless you have personal experience with every form of dp and have lived it, you really have no right to run your mouth about what other people should and shouldn't be doing. It makes you look like an ignorant stubborn fool.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

did u even read my post? you need to think back to your experience and realize wat was holding you back from getting out of bed. fearr! thats all it was. am i not right?! i have experienced severe dp i felt detached,unfamiliar,etc. but i still just went with life and moved along cause i had nothing to be afraid of. u keep saying u were incapable of getting out of bed but thats NOT true.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

tbh i need to stop arguing with u cause its making me focus too much on how i feel. maybe ull understand this eventually read the posts several times.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

mmarcus said:


> did u even read my post? you need to think back to your experience and realize wat was holding you back from getting out of bed. *fearr! thats all it was. am i not right?!* i have experienced severe dp i felt detached,unfamiliar,etc. but i still just went with life and moved along cause i had nothing to be afraid of. *u keep saying u were incapable of getting out of bed but thats NOT true.*


No. NO NO NO NO NO AND NO. You are not right. And it is true. DP IS WHAT KEPT ME FROM EXISTING. Yes I was afraid of how I felt and that didn't help. But it was THE DP SYMPTOMS that kept me unable to function, not the fear of them. You are totally and completely absolutely wrong. Sorry. You don't win with this one. You can think whatever you want. You can think that dp makes people poop rainbow marshmallows and scoff at the fact that because you poop rainbow marshmallows you cannot even begin to conceive what is preventing every other single person who has dp from pooping rainbow marshmallows too. Good luck with that, but it's not reality. None of what you have said is. You're wrong in your opinion. Totally and completely wrong.


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## Sam- (Oct 9, 2012)

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