# internet dating / relationships ?



## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

hi guys havnt been around for a while due to my father passing away last week ....

im kinnda making this post as a way of venting so as not to lose my faith totally in the human race .... heres the story

i said about 3 years ago that i wouldnt become attached to anyone from the internet as i have spent so much energy in the past getting to know someone and for them to just go there seperate ways without even meeting up...

about a month ago i got chatting to a young girl from another website (not a dating site) and this then led to her phoning me up everyday,without fail i had phonecalls,text messages emails .....
she did seem a little full on at first telling me she loved me etc... i told her that we havnt met so that kind of talk was a bit silly,she even sent me letters in the post,this was all a little confusing for me because what with my dad being ill it was a difficult time,one night she told me on the phone that she had lost a boyfriend due to a car accident she then cried and told me she always had these images in her head of this ex boyfriend,i used to calm her down and make her feel better....

anyway recently i was getting a little fed up of all of this,i told her that we should meet ,she then told me that she wanted to one day,well as you can imagine oneday could be anyday,she then phoned me all upset and said shes finding it hard as she getting very close to me and she was getting scared,well yesterday i said to her that i was engaged quite a few years back,she reacted by saying 'that changes everything'

she then said to me that she only wanted a bit of fun,so i was obviously annoyed ,i asked why all the kisses and cards phonecalls and promises was all that 'just fun'

as you can imagine i was mad as hell... ive listened to her constantly and she then asked if we can still be friends,i told her i dont want to know the likes of you

can someone shed some light on this situation ? its baffled me and i really do now find it a problem opening up to people on the internet (excluding this forum)

btw she was 19 years of age... will i ever learn


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

thankyou cloverstone

great advice :!:

as far as coping about my dads loss it does seem easier now because everytime the phone rang my heart would sink.... but funerals are a bad thing for me and especially because i have to go out of my safety zone as well....

well yes regarding the young girl i did tell myself that i wouldnt give it longer than a month,but she suddenly changed when i told her that i was once engaged,but things just didnt seem to add up,one day she was down, then she was up behaving like she was 'high' 
and now on the forum we both visit shes posting about valentines day and how shes lost her fella etc.... feeling sorry for herself and acting like i was the great love of her life.... she even went as far as to dump her boyfriend because of 'me' i cant take this seriously its impossible to

what a strange world we live in


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

im not really hurting over the situation because i always kept a step back,i just feel kinnda sorry for people that have to use the internet to create someone/something that they are not

its just sad to imagine this young messed up girl sitting on her pc allday trying to get compliments to make her feel better..... ive had to block her on msn because she just wouldnt get the hint

i do believe everything she told me but she will only get messed around by people if she carries on like this.... she told me that men use her then get rid of her and thats what she was expecting me to do,self preservation maybe


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2007)

I got chlamydia from my internet ex when I was 19? enough said =P


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

do you think i should carry on talking to this girl ????


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2007)

jc said:


> do you think i should carry on talking to this girl ????


Go with your gut... if you "feel" she deserves a sencond chance (unless she's had ... like 5-10 already) give her another one.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i dont want involvement but i think its wrong for me to be bitter .....


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2007)

Do you know why she "changed" when you told her you where once engaged? I mean... to me... it's no big deal... maybe she's misunderstood something?


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

ive no idea why she changed

she lost a boyfriend in a car crash and we were getting close then she said she was starting to feel for me,then she kindda backed off like she was scared of involvement


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2007)

Maybe she feels so much for you? it scares her? because she could lose some one else she?s in love with? so maybe her holding back on how she feels about you makes sure she avoids losing some one else she loves.

She?s going to need a lot of your time? maybe she?s worth it? Try and relate to her and make her feel less alone?


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i think by the way she behaved emulated has pretty much nailed it,thinking about it this is when things changed,i think maybe i should carry on talking to her but keep the convo seperate from any dating talk... if you know what i meen


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2007)

Yeah... be friends for now... see how that goes, sounds as if you two had been able to "click" so why let this "go to waste"? You need some cheering up JC, so keep chatting to her but as Cloverstone said: Be careful... "whispers: it's a female you're talking too after all   :lol: "


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## PAXIS (Aug 12, 2006)

Don't talk to this bitch again. I have been in a few similar situations, you're just their plaything to make them feel better much like we'd play a videogame or smoke some weed... just an escape and when it turns serious it's all a joke. Fuck that, avoid her at all costs.

It sounds harsh, but in the least it will make her think and you'll feel a lot better not having it on your mind trust me. Good luck


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2007)

egassem_lanimilbus said:


> Don't talk to this bitch again. I have been in a few similar situations, you're just their plaything to make them feel better much like we'd play a videogame or smoke some weed


Yeah I can see where you?re coming from? I from time to time state women as being ?Snakes with tits?? and I?m right =P? lol nah I?m not, the only reason I think of them like that is because?. : I don?t understand them, but if you take a moment to listen to them they can from time to time make sense? the main point is: they were'nt born ?Snakes with tits?? it?s other men/women who have put them down and made them feel insecure ect? You just gotta prove you?re trustworthy, and so have they? it doesn?t work ?one way?


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2007)

egassem_lanimilbus said:


> Don't talk to this bitch again. I have been in a few similar situations, you're just their plaything to make them feel better much like we'd play a videogame or smoke some weed... just an escape and when it turns serious it's all a joke. flower* that, avoid her at all costs.
> 
> It sounds harsh, but in the least it will make her think and you'll feel a lot better not having it on your mind trust me. Good luck


There are many users on this planet. Learn to recognize the signs and listen to your gut. That must help you to not get involved.


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## PAXIS (Aug 12, 2006)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> Yeah I can see where you?re coming from? I from time to time state women as being ?Snakes with tits?? and I?m right =P? lol nah I?m not, the only reason I think of them like that is because?. : I don?t understand them, but if you take a moment to listen to them they can from time to time make sense? the main point is: they were'nt born ?Snakes with tits?? it?s other men/women who have put them down and made them feel insecure ect? You just gotta prove you?re trustworthy, and so have they? it doesn?t work ?one way?


Don't get me wrong, women are both mentally and physically the most beautiful creatures on Earth, but their most confusing trait is that they already seem to have a place for you in their life very shortly after meeting them and while we spend loooads of time trying to tune them and thinking about them they made that decision long ago which is why the confident straight up guy will always nail it because she knows it's no bullshit with him and the shy mysterious guy will always fall straight into the hole of friendship. Of coures these are quite general circumstances you could be and ugly shy guy with a multibillion dollar company and have different chicks for every day of the week :twisted:

haha girls feel free to correct me or add anything I am very much into discussion of this kind.


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2007)

Huh? I thought I was the most beautiful creature on Earth *Darren?s self esteem lowers 100 points* 

Shy guys aren?t all that ?sexy? are they? I think a woman would rather have a loud mouth pratt then a ?shy away in the corner? kinda guy. ?some? women want a sense of direction? confident guys can do this with ease: ?go to my bedroom, NOW?? but a shy guy might be the one asking the women for directions? guess it?s just a turn off for women unless they are a dominatrix *drools*. Ugly confident guys can get a women as well? I guess what it comes down to is being a ?father figure? to them. Blah blah blah? that be ?5 pounds please *puts hand out*


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2007)

> Shy guys aren?t all that ?sexy? are they? I think a woman would rather have a loud mouth pratt then a ?shy away in the corner? kinda guy. ?some? women want a sense of direction? confident guys can do this with ease: ?go to my bedroom, NOW?


Not true!
Some women like to take control.


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2007)

Im still the same person said:


> Not true!
> Some women like to take control.


Yeah yeah...  that's why i slipped the "dominatrix" part in :wink:


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

egassem_lanimilbus said:


> Don't talk to this bitch again. I have been in a few similar situations, you're just their plaything to make them feel better much like we'd play a videogame or smoke some weed... just an escape and when it turns serious it's all a joke. flower* that, avoid her at all costs.
> 
> It sounds harsh, but in the least it will make her think and you'll feel a lot better not having it on your mind trust me. Good luck


i think you are correct ...... good stuff


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## PAXIS (Aug 12, 2006)

You have made the right choice and I know it can be hard to let it go but you can now get on to bigger and better things instead of wasting hours going nowhere because that's what it's about.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

im going to carry on talking to friends and family online but im not going to get involved again with some girl with broken promises,its all a waste of time i gave this stuff a wide birth about 5 years ago but i got suckered again..... hence to say ive blocked her from contacting me and im sure she is spending time thinking about the way shes behaved .... or maybe she will carry on mugging off people on the net.... not my problem anymore

cheers


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

delete


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

I?ll take that into consideration :wink:


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

ahhh i saw it Roz =P!!!! hehe :lol:


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

=P


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

My computer's messing up again, hence the unnecessary post I'm writing now.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Mine's bigger then yours!!! """" =P """" ... "Winner"


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

miss_starling said:


> bluh, can't get used to this internet forum thing.


Aww why not?


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

miss_starling said:


> Im still the same person said:
> 
> 
> > > Shy guys aren?t all that ?sexy? are they? I think a woman would rather have a loud mouth pratt then a ?shy away in the corner? kinda guy. ?some? women want a sense of direction? confident guys can do this with ease: ?go to my bedroom, NOW?
> ...


You enjoy losing as well don't ya?... :wink: I keep walking all over you...  "so sorry" :lol: ... maybe one day you'll come to be at my level... humm *smirks*


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

miss_starling said:


> Huh, i can't get used the this internet forum thing.
> 
> My computer's screwing up again, hence the unnecessary post I'm writing now.


Well it's necessary to make us aware your computer is screwing up... so there =P


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

delete


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

delete


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

delete


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

miss_starling said:


> Emulated Puppet}eer said:
> 
> 
> > You enjoy losing as well don't ya?... :wink: I keep walking all over you...  "so sorry" :lol: ... maybe one day you'll come to be at my level... humm *smirks*
> ...


That can be arranged? as long as there?s a balance to the game played.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

miss_starling said:


> Sorry, I'm a major bitch, it's ingrained, I can't help it.


I fail to see it... maybe i relate and it seems normal to me... who knows? :?


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

edit


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Oh and you're the order giver today *bows* Ma'am?

Well then... as you wish :lol:


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

get a room ffs :wink:


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

We're mates... like bro and sis!


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

yeh yeh thats how it all starts


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

No really... I'm not "easy" at all... "really really really"... I really mean it... "really"... *nods*.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

internet relationships..... beware


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Yes beware Rozanne :wink: :lol:


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

this girl ive been chatting about.... well ive basically told her to f**k off and she still insists on contacting me.... its doin my nut in


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Well it?s reverse psychology, so just unblock her and give her the silent treatment as she tries to talk to you, it's pretty mean thought... something i wouldn't want to do to some one.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

edit


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

on a serious note,if i unblock her and give her the silent treatment how do you think she will react ?


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

> Then again I do attract people who don't respect my personal boundaries.


First you?re to respect your own personal boundaries? then others will follow and respect it with you.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

jc said:


> on a serious note,if i unblock her and give her the silent treatment how do you think she will react ?


I have no info on her... and even if i did i could only assume... all i can say is... it won't be a good reaction.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

delete


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

edit


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Ah if we?re talking about offline boundaries, it?s a whole different story.

You know what I think, you want a man around to ?protect? you? when you could protect yourself by learning how to fight in order to defend yourself? but then again you were ?forced? to become independent because the lost of your father? maybe you want a childhood with a father? I don?t know? I could just go on to assume.

Desperate people tend to want to depend on people to do everything for them because they have a low self esteem? they want others to tell them what to do so if things go wrong they can?t blame their self any more? but that?s just one kind of a desperate person? there are many others.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

> *I think it's because I don't like to look effected by things like this that people keep pushing it further and further*, and it soon becomes clear that I have suddenly been aquired as a piece of property by a man that I don't even like in that way, just accept.


Humm funny you say that? When I was 16 I was a trainee car re-sprayer? mainly because I didn?t know was else to do? any how the horse play there was horrible? it really hurt me? but the hurt was mine and no one else?s they didn?t deserve to see the pain they had coursed me? so I wore a mask and kept smiling; when ever they hurt me? they got a smile? to me it was the only way to avoid showing how much they had hurt me? but I was unaware at such a young age that I was provoking them to carry on coursing me pain? and so it was a ?vicious circle?, this could be one of the reasons I have DR/DP? I lost my sense of emotions because I blocked them.

Well I could always wear make up and ?look? like a female if that would help; what are pals ?for? right?


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)




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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Queens Of The Stone Age - Monsters In The Parasol


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

edit


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

You?re so negative? you reminded me of one of my favortire songs, and I posted it because I wanted others to ?enjoy? it?

I was saying mine was bigger then yours because I knew you wasn?t aware how to make font any larger (The max font size isn?t 24? it?s 29)? I didn?t know it was upsetting you? I?m sorry. And you?re not a monster, even if you think you are, many others would disagree with you? and I would be one of them.

Not all women are? just mainly the ones which have been mistreated by other men? and it would seem those men may have been mistreated by other women whom where also mistreated by other men and so on? It?s quite easy to harm me? it?s only hard to know when you have?


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

=P
This is one of my favorite songs:

David Bowie, Absolute Beginners.





That's a bit of a long clip, I admit.

You can find the song by itself on the right.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

He was splendid in the film ?labyrinth? but I will admit I only remembered that film due to viewing info on the guy? there?s a song of his I really used to like.. but I don?t recall the title? pity really. Good tune any how. ?1337? =P


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## Coming?Back2Life (Oct 20, 2006)

btw she was 19 years of age... will i ever learn

You hit the nail on the head there m8 she`s still a kid just out of high school or w/e so steer well clear lol.

You can`t judge her like u judge ureself cos techinically shes still a bit of a kid really and bound to think differently and behave differently just leave it man ure 32 lol i`m 23 and my last gf was 18 and even that seemed like a huge gap cos still a teenager m8 no matter how u think of it wait till she`s a bit older not 19 :/


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## Guest (Feb 21, 2007)

@ 19 she?s a adult.


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