# Recovery testimony 1



## Morgane.N (Feb 10, 2013)

Hello people , I wrote in a previous post that I will post some recovery stories that I found on french websites , so this is the first one that I translated for you  :​​Found on the website depersonnalisation.free :​​​​
" Hi everyone ,

I just wanted to bring my testimony to everyone of you which is living an episode of dp/dr .

To begin , I am a very anxious person . I have always been afraid of being mad , of having a mental ilness , of being someone bad , I had awful impulsive phobias , always on cyclic basis , it came and went after a while . I lived with this sword of Damocles above my head for 15 years .

And it was back everytime , always , and lasted everytime , I had the same question : Does it will have an end one day ? Am I crazy ?

Total hell . I know that we are numerous in this case . Horrific pictures , obsessives thoughts , etc .

And more of that an awful sensation of not recognizing myself , of not being myself anymore , having sensations of irreality , asking myself about existencial questions , " Is this me or not ? " ( That was making me more afraid of being mad ) , anyway ! I couldn't drive , paralyzed by panic attacks , the impression of checking everything I said , impression of listenning myself talking , impression of " watching myself watching " .

The most terrible is that we think that it will never go away , that we will be like this for life . To try to find myself again , I was looking at photographs , trying to reconnect with my " self " .

I learnt that it was DP/DR .

I am here to bring you a positive testimony : IT GOES AWAY , IT DISAPPEARS AND NEVER COMES BACK AND WE GET THROUGH IT !

I was under a psychiatrist's care which never put me on meds . There is a remedy , the most effective : facing your problems , confronting it , talking about it , get it off your chest . It is very hard , but I never took antidepressants . Nevertheless I asked him the question but he , my psychiatrist , never wanted to prescribe some to me .

We need to fight and say that it has an end . It is awful , but has an end . We have to be patient . For me , it lasted 1 year , but sensations evolved over the months . At the beginning , I couldn't drive , I was not working either . Then , I felt confident enough to drive again , and then I began more confident and I was able to have an interview ( it is very difficult because we watch ourself a lot ) . Next , I could have a luch with my friends . The same , very hard , we have to go beyond these impressions , to not focus on it . When we can do it , we have already won a little . Our brain integrate it , and so dp goes away little by little .

Dp is a defense mechanism of the spirit , a way to protect itself when difficulties are too hard to accept . It is not the beginnings of schizophrenia or bipolarity or something .

Just an advice : surround yourself with the people who are able to listen and with who you can talk about it , that is what allowed me to get through it quicker . I had the luck to have a friend of mine with me who had already lived something similar , she explained everything that I felt , described me by which steps I was going to go through . That reassured me . Whatever happens , we get out of it . Don't forget it . You will be suprised by the number of people who are living or who have lived this episode . Be careful too about bullshits that you can read on the Internet .

And don't lose hope ! We reach it ! I swear !

Be well to everyone .

Pat "


----------

