# Does anyone think...



## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

...and I guess this applies to us Mods and those who have recovered from DR/DP, that we should spend a little more time on the main forum offering advice and stuff? It seems that those that are still suffering are the one bearing the burdon of it all.

I say this because I've just scrolled through the main discussion forum and there are hundreds of posts on there that make my heart break, and for my own part, I realised that I have posted on there perhaps two or three times a month. The rest of the time I spend trying to be clever on this forum or post my junk elsewhere.

Really, I'm saying this for myself, because I feel selfish that I haven't tried to help enough.


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## Axel19 (Aug 11, 2004)

I totally agree with you Martin. I do worry about this as well. It's been so long since I had a look at the main forums. It can be quite taxing to read this stuff. I am in no way recovered, but I do spend most of my time out of the dark depths. Interestingly I'm in the middle of my first major anxiety/depression episode for almost 18 months, I'm thinking of going back on the main forum for help. But truth be told I know what the basic strategy is for dealing with this. I know I could help some of these poor souls, but truth be told, I want to avoid any reminder of how bad this can get. What did happen to Janine by the way?


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

Old school recovered users should be creating "My Story - How I got better" type of document(s) then submitting it to me (email) where I can post it loud and clear for EVERYONE to read.

This would _help_ eliminate the repeat questions.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

> The rest of the time I spend trying to be clever on this forum or post my junk elsewhere.


lol, same here. Every once in a while when I'm feeling bad I'll wander over to the main forum for advice, but it's really just the same stuff we've been reading for years. And I think it's pretty counterproductive to hang out in that forum too much. Plus there are plenty of people offering daily advice to the newbies.

I agree with Revelation. If you really wanna help post a "How I Got Cured". The recovery forum is more uplifting and the main place I go to reading about old members.


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

Yep...I'm always feeling bad for enjoying the fun stuff more than helping out those who are suffering in the main sections. I try to get on there and throw some advice in where I can but I sometimes feel kind of silly offering advice as though I am some expert on the whole subject, especially since my periods of dp/dr, anxiety & depression etc have been so relatively short-lived compared to many here who know so much more about real suffering.

I can't explain why I turned on myself so badly when I have lead such a blessed life and why I sabotaged my relationships so viciously (I know my reasons but can't for the life of me think why it all has to be so dramatic). I also can't explain how I dragged myself out of it in such a short period or feel that I have the expertise or knowledge to articulate it all that well to everyone else. So I just throw in a pep talk every now and then and hope I'm helping a little. I do like to read the main discussion boards and some stories just break my heart but I feel I have such little experience with true pain and suffering that I don't have the right to respond.

I grew up with my Mum as a paraplegic. My entire family was in a horrific car accident 3 years before I was born that killed all the occupants of the other car (the other driver was at fault). As a result my Mum spent the rest of her life confined to a wheelchair, but not once did she make any of us feel like it was a burden. She was able to make life so incredibly stable and normal for us that I never saw it as a disability. I had never known any different but I always felt that as I was never involved in that difficult period during the few years that followed the accident, that I have never had the right to complain about my lot in life...I do complain and I do have "oh woe is me" moments but I feel guilty for them. My Mum rarely complained and she had endured more pain and suffering than I could fathom so what right did/do I have?

I think that has a lot to do with why I don't respond as much to the other posts as I should...so many people here have endured so many heartbreaks and have been through much longer periods of dp etc than I have, so who am I to comment? What makes me qualified?

Anyway though...you are right Martin. We should help out more where we can...it might actually put things in perspective for a lot of us and help us not to obssess about our own problems as much.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i stil have my own issues but i try to keep to my promise that i will try my best to help those who seem to be suffering more than i


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## californian (Jul 24, 2006)

i definitely agree, martin, and i'm glad to hear you say so. i mean this honestly and genuinely. 

i've been visiting those main forums and making it a point to post a reply to any sad story that has gone unreplied to. i couldn't help thinking during that time "where are the mods here"? this is definitely related to my frustration i've expressed in my "plea" under the spirituality section.

in the end, though, i'm still someone who battles this problem (dp/dr) off and on. i've become much, much better at managing it over the last 13 years, but i don't have as much to offer people as the moderators and other older users who have found permanent solutions and quite frankly, have known what dp IS much longer than i have...


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

The problem is Rev, I'm not really sure how I recovered. I deliberately hesitate to say it was a matter of will (which I doubt it was), but in both cases (two year long acute DR episodes) I really don't know.

Yet, I'm still an emotional wreck of boiling anger, frustration, and recklessness, so I doubt anything I'd say would be of much help anyway.

But we must try.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

> Old school recovered users should be creating "My Story - How I got better" type of document(s) then submitting it to me (email) where I can post it loud and clear for EVERYONE to read.
> 
> This would help eliminate the repeat questions.
> _________________


Good point Rev. I'll work on my full story _eventually_. I just dont like to give anything less than full effort, and its a complicated, complicated, story that continues to evolve and contains all of the DP medical theories I've assimilated.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

I've always felt somewhat guilty about this too. I'll even catch myself rolling my eyes at some of the comments on the main forum as if to say: "Oh God...that is all soooo 1998." But really, these poor people are just experiencing the same things that i did...and still am to some extent.

I do try to offer advice when i can although i must confess, it's been awhile. I, like Martin, seem far more interested in posting nonsensical (yet mystically relevant) opinions on squids than i am helping people out in the main board. Like Californian, i'll usually try to answer a particularly desperate sounding plea if no one else has responded, or if it's someone that has been on here for awhile and they're just going through a tough time.

Once i get my life a little more organized and a lot less hectic, i'm going to dedicate more time to doing this. Not that i'll be able to necessarily help anyone (i mean, i'm still going through all this too), but a lot of advice from different...perhaps more "experienced", DPites can lend a world of help to the uninitiated and/or frightened.

s.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Hmm. I'm not cured, but I still find myself giving advice quite often...

I guess this could be a bad thing....


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## Guest (Sep 9, 2006)

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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

Wendy said:


> Californian, I agree. I think it should be part of the mods job to post to posters who get zero responses (especially newbies) on this board. Ive been on other boards and Ive not seen so many posts as Ive seen here that get zero response. The mods (in particular one board I visit) make sure everybody gets a reply and I like that. They dont always manage, but the spirit is there and it makes one feel welcome and comfortable in that place. Thats why I feel it should be a part of the mods job here as well.


This is NOT a job of a moderator. I have many issues with this. First and foremost is after replying to the same type of question over and over again the reply would become automated and not genuine.

This is a community. If a senior member of the site is worried that the newbies aren't getting a reply, they should reply themselves instead of saying a moderator should do it. The moderators should only reply if they feel like doing so.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Wendy said:


> *Peacedove wrote*
> 
> 
> > Hmm. I'm not cured, but I still find myself giving advice quite often...
> ...


I just hope I'm not giving bad advice. People are probably like god this girl isn't even cured and she thinks she can help me...

I don't know.


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## Guest (Sep 11, 2006)

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## Guest (Sep 11, 2006)

peacedove said:


> Wendy said:
> 
> 
> > *Peacedove wrote*
> ...


If it is of any help, I like your posts and I almost always read them. And I don't think anyone needs to be recovered to be able to give advice. The majority of posters are not recovered, so I woudnt worry about it. Really. I don't know how the expression goes in English exactly, but it is something like: 'shared trouble is half the trouble'. Hope that helps?


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Thanks Wendy.


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## Guest (Sep 12, 2006)

peacedove said:


> Thanks Wendy.


Yoooouuuurrrrr welcome!


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I do feel sort of personally responsable, as a moderator, for not posting to the real cries for help, but in the end, as Rev said, we aren't a group of superhumans who have the answer to everything. Far from it. I mean, I'm a complete emotional wreck for a start, and I have it on good authority that Sebastian has a tail, Rev has webbed feet, and the other moderators are morphed together in one big lump of sizzling human flesh.

But seriously, we (I'm speaking for myself here) do get tired of banging out the same old response to the same people, time and time again. People must not just listen to advice, they must act on it. There is only so many times we can say it.


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2006)

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