# Existential feeling of meaningless INSTEAD of thoughts



## Tywin Lannister (Oct 17, 2018)

I feel like I recoveres somewhat.

But at the moment I feel trapped in a feeling like nothing matters. Its not really thoughts or rumination about if things make sense. It just doesnt feel right to go about life or anything, in an excruciating way. I feel a kind of resistance because it really feels too freaking scary to go about life while it feels all so meaningless/pointless.. I dont really have existential thoughts. It FEELS existentially meaningless and scary (for no reason obviously).

Does anyone recognize this?

One should think that DPDR would be a coping mechanism for anxiety instead of inducing anxiety and these kinds of feelings...
So this makes me really scared about if this still is DPDR, because I can't find anyone describing this feeling/perception...


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## Fromhollandwithlove (Aug 24, 2018)

Feelings of meaningless/pointless could also be a sign of depression. It reminds me of the following videos:





https://youtu.be/nt5mrOISJYI

In the first video he states that he lacks that "spark" he had before dpdr came over him. Probably you will have to start working on it again to achieve things compassion, motivation etc..

In the 2nd video someone explains that a lot of dpdr sufferers will go through some form of depression after they get out of dpdr.

Or you might actually still be dpdr'd in some mild way. You could look into existential therapy? There are professionals around to help people whith existential issues.

Good luck friend. You will be fine in the end.


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## Tywin Lannister (Oct 17, 2018)

Thank you for your reply! Although I do not think this is depression, I will look into it


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Tywin Lannister said:


> I feel like I recoveres somewhat.
> 
> But at the moment I feel trapped in a feeling like nothing matters. Its not really thoughts or rumination about if things make sense. It just doesnt feel right to go about life or anything, in an excruciating way. I feel a kind of resistance because it really feels too freaking scary to go about life while it feels all so meaningless/pointless.. I dont really have existential thoughts. It FEELS existentially meaningless and scary (for no reason obviously).
> 
> ...


That makes sense to me. How long were you DP'd and how long have you been somewhat recovered? I've said it many times, this condition is itself very traumatizing. You'll adjust/adapt, just give your mind/emotions/spirit some time to catch up to being back into a more grounded perception of reality. You've been in an altered state of consciousness for some time, idk how long you've had this, but going through this for even a few months can do a number on your system. We could even coin this the "DP/DR Hangover". Think about maybe when you were a young and had an extremely impacting nightmare, waking up from that maybe the whole rest of the day you were in a weird state of mind. Be patient and kind to yourself, only you know what you've been through. And this is some real test of character, DP/DR is.


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## Tywin Lannister (Oct 17, 2018)

Thank you!
Yeah, the nightmare story makes some sense indeed!

I've had derealization for like 1 - 1,5 year. But now I'm less derealized but still feel weird.

This existential feeling of meaningless makes me scared scared to become suicidal, but I'm not (thank the gods). It's more like OCD, and I def want to LIVE. Anxiety is def part of this. It's more anxiety than it is depression.

But at the moment life feels.. so.. deeply, convincingly pointless..
I always use the saying "this too shall pass" when I have symptoms that are somewhat unbearable. But this feeling.. it just convinces you that it will never pass.

Thank GOD I have my reasoning still intact


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## bintuae (Jan 17, 2017)

Me too. I don't have existential thoughts but I feel life is meaningless since acquiring derealization especially. This feeling is def different from when I was depressed.


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## KimSavage (Mar 22, 2019)

I think I have the same. My dp and dr decreased significantly, but I'm depressed and don't see any sense in life. Can't feel everything is the same.


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## Psyborg (Dec 23, 2018)

sounds a bit like depression tbh


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## Sb1234 (Mar 22, 2019)

Totally in the same boat. I've accepted all of the thoughts associated with DP and they don't really bother me but there's still the feeling of life itself being meaningless. I've talked to psychological professionals and they say it's totally normal and stems from depression. They recommend really getting involved in something new that challenges you even if it's just something minor. I find it's worst when I'm alone but there are little breaks when I'm hanging out with friends and socializing. It sort of let's my brain know there's not much to worry about and things will fall in place with time.

Keep going and know you're definitely not alone!


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