# Breaking down again.



## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

So this is really not a life. Update on how I'm doing? Still getting worse everyday. I lost hope and I don't see myself getting better. I'm sick of this. There were days where I thought I was doing well but now I feel like I'm like two steps behind again. Why is this getting worse everyday. I want to live my life without fear but I can't. Instead I sit here crying because I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't. Disconnected from the things I see is so scary and it's only getting worse. I wish my life never turned out like this , we all deserve better, not only me.

P.S. Graham, Miss K , Amina, Pete, and a few others, you guys make me laugh so much and you have supported me, thank you.


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## Guest (Apr 2, 2012)

You havent tried EVERYTHING melidsa....i doubt u considered my suggestion of the eeg right?


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## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

Girl, I know you've been having a real rough time lately and I completely sympathize with your situation, but I really think it's in your best interest to start changing the way you are going about in recovery. You don't have to change everything over night. We all know DP can be a long term condition, but it is only long term if we constantly let it occupy your mind. I believe that is the KEY in recovery. Clearing up your mind will day my day improve your symptoms.

I've seen you go out more with friends and to that I say AWESOME! Keep doing it girl! They love and support you and will be there for you no matter what. You're lucky to have a handful of friends like that. They will NEVER give up on you, just like I won't.

I really think you should try getting out of your house more. I know you go for an occasional walk, but you typically don' make it last for more than 5-10 minutes. Next time you go somewhere, have a destination in mind. Don't just walk up and down your street. Find a destination and let your feet take you there. On your way, try to divert your mind to anything you can. Nature, Life, Victoria Beckham. Whatever you need to do to stop thinking about DP and how you will never recover, do it. Even if you have to force yourself to think, do it. I went from a completely blank mind to one that is even clearer than when I was "normal" and DP free.

Something as small as that can be a great first step in making change. And when you have a destination in mind, try to even meet a stranger along the way. I'm sure you're personable and are a lovely girl. People would be delighted to hear what you have to say. Maybe you'll open up to them or they'll open up to you and you'll discover that other people have had some rough times in their life. Either way, I think getting out of your house and enjoying the warm spring weather would be great for you.

Some other things to take into consideration maybe further down the road when you're feeling a little bit better.

- Try applying to jobs. Even small ones. Try to get something part time where can get out of the house, make some spending money (For Spice Girls tickets of course!), and you'll get the chance to meet new people. It's extremely healthy to meet new people and while some people can be jerks at work places, I've found that most are extremely receptive and kind. People were so nice to me when I was stuck inside my head and introverted. You don't have that problem and I'm sure you have no problem making new friends. Meeting new people in your area would be a great thing for you.
- Take up a hobby. I lost interest in everything when I was DP'd. Everything. Music, Movies, Friends, Family, Conversation. Everything. Nothing matter anymore and the less it mattered to me the less I did it. The less I did it the more introverted and reclusive I became. Pick up an old hobby and see how you can improve it. Or even better yet, try a new hobby. Try learning an instrument or something cool like that. If you're going to spend all your days inside try to do something other than cry and get on the forum. Expression of emotion is important in dealing with DP. Don't fight the emotions, let them come, because like everything else they WILL pass. After you've had your five minutes of crying, get up and say, "Damn it. I'm done with this. I'm doing something productive."
- Take a college course or even audit in on one at your local community college. Don't worry about taking a full course load. I only took one my first semester back and even then it was TOUGH. Very tough, but I pushed through and I passed with an B. I think forcing your mind to think about other things such as school work can be a great way to divert your mind.

These are just the things I've heard you talk about and doing one of these at a time can greatly aid in your recovery process. I'm always here to talk, never hesitate to message me on Facebook if you don't feel like you have anyone else to talk to because I really don't think I'll be sticking around these forums too much longer.

Get out and live your life with DP. Sooner or later, you might find yourself completely forgetting about DP and doing the things you used to love while adding some new skills to your resume. You can do this girl. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't, especially yourself.

Pete


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## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

Thank you Pete









Your post made me smile , especially this

" On your way, try to divert your mind to anything you can. Nature, Life, Victoria Beckham."


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## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

Glad to hear! I've only seen you post one or two statuses about her so...


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

You have a nice smile. People would make friends with you very easily. Yes, go on a walk with a destination in mind. To the coffee shop, or library or corner store just to buy a lottery ticket perhaps. Hey, you might be the next big mega millions winner haha. Also, try eating a cliff's energy bar on your walks. It's full of B vitamins plus a lot of other healthy stuff. My dp always feels better after having one of those and I could walk for miles. If you can afford it go to a fitness centre or maybe an indoor pool once in a while. Walking on a treadmill and swimming then lounging in a hot tub always takes my mind off of dp for a while.


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