# Relapse - worse than before; afraid of cjd



## Wwallace (Jul 7, 2008)

Dear all,

I've been a (passive) member of this board for some time. Earlier this year (February - May) I had an intense stretch of dr/dp, including really worrisome symptoms (intense forgetfulness, lack of concentration, empty head, racing thoughts, tremors etc.). After despairing for a while and being persuaded that I had a degenerative disease (esp. Creutzfeldt Jakob, variant or sporadic), I found this forum. Reading the posts really helped me and I decided to adopt a 'fuck it all' attitude, and it slowly went away, without me really noticing.

The summer was fine, but 3 weeks ago I heady a heavy relapse after a night of weird dreams. Now, I feel like it's worse than ever, and again, I am persuaded that I have a degenerative disease: my fear is again Creutzfeldt Jakob. I'm from Switzerland and we had a lot of BSE cows in the past (though no case of vCJD as of now). So I'm fluctuating between thinking that I'm the first case of vCJD bc of meat in this country, or a young sporadic case (I'm 33). I have been a hypochondriac all my life, and I realize that I've had this earlier this year, but this time it's so intense. In the morning, I can't get my thoughts in order, I don't know where I am, and what I'm supposed to do. I surprise myself because I do things twice (forgetting that I did them before) or realizing that I didn't do what I thought I had done. My concentration went down the drain, and I have to really think hard to remember the time of day, day, month or even year. I am constantly worrying, thinking I'm not here, losing control, going crazy (even as I write this I feel like I can't say what I want, or am writing things that I'm actually not writing). It's so awful.

I guess I'm mainly here to vent and to find others who have these symptoms too. Are there others who have had such strong relapses like this? How do you deal with hypochondria returning? Anyone else afraid of Creutzfeldt Jakob? It's such an awful disease. I read stories about it on the internet (ofc - like the stupid hypochondriac I am), and now again I'm really worried....any kind of consolation will help.

Thanks for reading


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

I have most of the symptoms you present with, all day, every day. For several years now. It's quite brutal.

I don't know much about Creutzfeldt Jakob. Are there good tests for it? If so, you could have the test done and rule it out (or in), and if you can rule it out, that might at least eliminate some of your concerns.

But beyond that, I'm in a similar boat. I know some of the things that this is not, but I don't have a clue as to what it is.

I can say that I've never been a hypochondriac, though my doctors think that I am. I just feel like crap and want to get better. I'd be happy with knowing why I feel this way, even if it's not treatable, because then I could give up trying to treat it and just accept it. Perhaps others who have been hypochondriacs can help you better on this issue.


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## MyBattle (Oct 23, 2018)

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time, I just got into this mess 2 weeks ago, and I have been in another type of hell and just got dp as a cherry on top. I am barely hanging on. It it really is horrible 

I am from Holland, my dad is Swiss, been there many times. Wonderful country hope I can go back there with a sane mind someday I really used to love it as a kid. Actually brings tears to my eyes thinking about my childhood now. Life is crazy

I am/was too very hypochondriac, I do not think you are sick. People get this shit from 100's of different things my mind is blank right now, no st memory, floaty . You have beat it before so that is good, you can overcome this.


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