# Horrible Intrusive thoughts anyone?



## Rapidhopeloss (Nov 27, 2011)

Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?

I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to







I am always scared,always anxious,ALWAYS thinking.Thinking about every little thing I do, or thinking about a thought that popped into my head,or thinking about how I could possibly be real, in this body etc etc etc.

I feel as if I am insane







I just want to feel happiness again. I want to feel like I used to, and not be worried about being real or that I am in some kind of fake world..

I'm sorry if all this doesn't make much sense, Im in a bit of a mess at the moment.


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## Iskalachi (Sep 21, 2011)

Dont wish to be normal embrace this feeling dont let it get you down just go with your day these thoughts are just rashinial and will clear the way your feeling we have all had it its worse sometimes than others. Honestly the best way to get back to normal is just continue with your day and just accept the fact you have this disorder for abit(it wont last forever)


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?
> 
> I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to
> 
> ...


I used to have thoughts like those. Check out a supplement called insitol. It is used in the ocd community quite alot to help thoughts like those. It has helped me out alot.


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## Rapidhopeloss (Nov 27, 2011)

Thank you both for your replies.. Today I haven't had these thoughts really, it's now back to not knowing who I am or if I'm real..so that's something I guess. I have been like this for 6months now..it's really getting to me! I used to be like this when I was younger but somehow I snapped out of it, and now boom it's back and bigger then ever!


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## Macky (Mar 22, 2012)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?
> 
> I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to
> 
> ...


maybe you have ocd. try some meds.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?
> 
> I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to
> 
> ...


This sounds a lot like something like Pure O (a type of 'obsessional' OCD). I've seen many with it on here, but personally I don't experience it. You're not alone.


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## Rapidhopeloss (Nov 27, 2011)

I am on meds... my doctor upper them "Paroxatine" to 40mg just before Christmas..It helped a little bit. but not much, I also have valium but I never take them.


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## Guest (Apr 2, 2012)

I've been having those horrible intrusive thoughts for a long time. It used to be worse, but I still do get them. They are really scary. Actually I got them even before DP/DR. I remember one case where I was on vacation with the fam, and we were sight seeing on the edge of a cliff, and I got the thought "What if I just jumped off, right here, right now."


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?
> 
> I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to
> 
> ...


Thank you

I thought I was the only one









You are not alone on this. Everytime I see a knife in front of me at the dining table I think about sticking it into someone's eyeball, or cutting myself.

Of course I never do it, and that's basically all you have to worry about.

You will never act upon those thoughts because you are disgusted by them. You don't feel any urge to execute them. The only emotion you feel is fear. fear that you may actually be capable of doing something like that.

You're not. You have to trust that, and whenever that happens... remenber this


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

intrusive thoughts are a complete bitch to deal with. Insaticiable is right it's apart of pure o http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purely_Obsessional_OCD

They can be about anything really and i just wish mine would fuck off.


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## rssrik (Apr 9, 2012)

I am going thru this rite now. I am questioning everything I am. Everyone can talk to themselves inside their heads, I keep on wondering how ? I know its normal, but still have panic whenever I think about this. Sometimes I even worry that I have to think all day. So what is mind, where is it? I even question if I am human. These questions go on on and on, never ending. I appear normal to other people, but its a turmoil inside.

All of this started to me after a vicious cycle of heartburn, pain and no sleep for a couple of months. First obsessions started, I thought I am going crazy and will hurt everybody around me. Then came the DR/DP. These days its become much more painful, heartburn isn't that painful nemore. I have the best job of my career with me now, its took me 10 yrs of hardwork to get this job and pay. Now I am on the verge of loosing it. I am not able to concentrate or focus on nething. I started this year with lots of ambitions and full of enthusiasm. But I have nothing and feel really really empty now. Life changes quickly, very quickly. I feel like i have become a hero-to-zero in matter of 3 months.

Now thats my story, here's what I am trying

1. Last 2 days I tried spending some time in pool, it calms me down a little. Human mind focuses more when in water.
2. Reading a lot on spirituality, especially OSHO. it really helps me calm down. Read this you'll definitely laugh, 
http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Meditation/Watch_don%27t_try_to_stop.htm
3. I am trying to see the positives and think we're all special. We can distinguish body and mind, also feel body is not real. This state is called enlightenment, Which only very few great people have achieved. We achieved this with utter ease ! how cool is that








4. Planning to visit few scenic spots. Brain works faster if its surrounded by nature, though its not good if our thoughts are racing, but I think still it can makes us understand who we are








5. Try to smile/laugh on every action that we are able to do, like taking a bath, eating breakfast, talking to friend, browsing a website







Whatever we do now with this mindset is an achievement, lets appreciate ourselves !!!

Even thought about suicides, but its cowardly. Even a beggar in street has some hope and continues to live. Life is a struggle, our White Blood cells fight against bacteria/viruses every second we live. I keep remembering an old proverb, we may be wounded very badly in the battle, but as long as we didnt put our swords down and say we'll fight no more, THERE IS HOPE







The longer the battle, the better we become









3Cheers and wish you all a very speedy recovery !!!! Afterall we have the right to live happily























-Srikanth


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## Absent (Oct 16, 2004)

A long time after DPD began for me, disturbed thoughts started and are relentless. Aspects are related to ocd but they are still a product of DP/DR. I think that the idea I might act on some extreme thought is a result of the division of self from environment and the 'loss of agency'. Also, I'm trying to interpret everything around me when it is so unreal and so the fear of 'getting it wrong' gets too important.

So I also have compulsions and ideas to say and do awful things - out of character. They are upsetting and scary but I try to let them go by despite that - I try to just casually observe them as part of my disrupted state. I hope they are passing for you.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

Absent said:


> A long time after DPD began for me, disturbed thoughts started and are relentless. Aspects are related to ocd but they are still a product of DP/DR. I think that the idea I might act on some extreme thought is a result of the division of self from environment and the 'loss of agency'. Also, I'm trying to interpret everything around me when it is so unreal and so the fear of 'getting it wrong' gets too important.
> 
> So I also have compulsions and ideas to say and do awful things - out of character. They are upsetting and scary but I try to let them go by despite that - I try to just casually observe them as part of my disrupted state. I hope they are passing for you.


That sounds very insightfull. Thank you


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## saniyah (Mar 22, 2012)

You have said, that your taking Paroxetine which is a SSRI antidepressant medication. Paroxetine is used to treat major depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety, Posttraumatic stress disorder and generalized anxiety disorder[1] in adult outpatients.

Physician know your problem and abide all the instructions passionately especially the medications that will really help you.


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## Rapidhopeloss (Nov 27, 2011)

Thank you all so much for all the replies, I haven't checked this place in a while as I was kinda doing ok...for a few days anyway but now its all back and bigger then ever! It's a shame as I was doing so well, I have no idea why it's all came back.. Dp is scary but I would rather that over these horrid intrusive thoughts that I am now getting again!

My mind is one messed up place =(


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## Rock Rose (Dec 14, 2010)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?
> 
> I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to
> 
> ...


I used to get a lot of intrusive thoughts, usually in the form of very violent visuals, i'd see flashes of me acting violently (i always knew they were my imagination), as well as thoughts about hurting people around me. at first it scared me but at some point I got used to them, and just stopped stressing about whether it means I'm a bad person or not, or could i actually do it... I would accept the thought and calmly 'tell' it: that's not nice, not gonna do that, go away. Eventually- they did (nearly completely).
Weirdly enough, dp/dr helped because I could detach myself from these intrusive thoughts. 
I think everyone gets these thoughts now and again, it's just that I was freaking out about them: thinking about them and latching many other thoughts, including my moral nature and my existence in society to them, that caused them to be so disrupting.


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## Rapidhopeloss (Nov 27, 2011)

It really is getting to me now..It's not fair. I feel like a freak.
I forced myself to be social tonight,I sat with my family..watched tv, but I kept having like I don't know....stupid horrible thoughts, Like I all of a sudden hit my brothers dog who i was playing with







it's horrible..and then I worry that I won't be able to control my body and will just all of a sudden do it without wanting to...It's so bloody hard to explain and to be honest at this moment in time I feel like I am losing it and some kind of violent heartless bitch







Ughh.

This time last week I thought I was getting better...but now it seems to only be getting worse.


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## Shapiro (Nov 7, 2011)

I used to get these alot. Now its not so often. I linked it to feeling so insane and out control on the inside...yet looking calm and healthy on the outside. By harming myself, or someone else people would see just how "sick" I am and the way they treat me would match how I felt. By expressing myself, discussing my feelings, and not pretending I'm alright when I'm not the thoughts seemed to disolve. I seem to only get them now occasionally in high pressure situations where I have to "wear a mask." With CBT and mindfulness, I hardly have intrusive thoughts at all. Everyone is different, but maybe this will be helpful.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> It really is getting to me now..It's not fair. I feel like a freak.
> I forced myself to be social tonight,I sat with my family..watched tv, but I kept having like I don't know....stupid horrible thoughts, Like I all of a sudden hit my brothers dog who i was playing with
> 
> 
> ...


Rapidhopeloss,

I can relate to you in a most profound fashion.

I had this when I was a little boy. I think this has a connection with anxiety, for I did not have DP/DR when I was young (not even close). However, I suffered severely from social anxiety, and lack of self-confidence.

It was only 4 years ago that I first started to feel depersonalized (I am 19 years old). Writting, has revealed to be something that greatly decreases my feelings of depersonalization and derealization. As such, I have been writting daily about my feelings. About things of the past, the present, and what my future may hold.

This is a transcript of what I wrote a couple of months back: Regarding intrusive violent thoughts

This has been something that's happened me since I was young boy.
Everytime I hold a potentialy lethal weapon, horrible "ideas" cross my mind regarding the use of those objects against a person in order to cause injury (never death). For example, just yesterday I was smoking while sitting in a bar with friends. As I was smoking I suddenly thought of using my cigarrete and hurting my friend with it, by burning him.

However, I don't think of anything in concrete... It's more like an idea than a thought. I do ocassionaly visualize the whole process (which in this case would be using the cigarrete and maiming a friend).

What happens imediatly is I feel this huge fear of actually wanting to do this.

It's weird.

Not only do I know that I'm not an evil person, that I recognise in a both rational and emotional point of view that this is wrong.

In fact, I feel a sudden urge to DON'T act on those thoughts. I don't know why exactly do these thoughts cross my mind, for I clearly do not wish them to become true.

The other day, I was cutting duct tape with a scissors when my dog showed up. She wanted some pet. At that time, I thought about sticking my scissors into her eyeballs.

Result: I dared myself to do it. I couldn't. I thought it was better to have one dog with one eye in this world and then I could kill myself, but at least I wouldn't remain in doubt of wether or not I was truly a bad person.

Turns out I couldn't do it. I felt this HUGE urge to not do it.

So it's really just a thought.

I also realise now that everytime I used violence against others (such as in a normal fight as a kid, fighting a bully or whatever) I never had any premeditation of intentional will to provoke harm before I actually used violence. So that takes away the psychopath part off the book.

As to it's original, maybe this is what's about: A strong insecurity and self-hatred that escalated to the point that I get to doubt my kindness and my own personality.

Another curious aspect

a) Everytime I get these thoughts, I notice that those are NEVER accompained by a positive emotion. If anything, the only thing I feel is self-hatred and fear. Fear that I might actually be able to do this.

b)I also feel sadness and depression, after the thought dissapears. I focus on the fact that it occured to me.

c) I never act upon those thoughts

d) I notice the presence of an emotional barrier that prevents me from acting upon those thoughts.

e) The thought in itself, revolves around a non-fatal wound

d) It only occurs when I hold a potentional weapon (such as scissors, knife, etc..)

So just to conclude, you really need to stop worrying about those things. I personally believe they are connected with anxiety and insecurity...


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> It really is getting to me now..It's not fair. I feel like a freak.
> I forced myself to be social tonight,I sat with my family..watched tv, but I kept having like I don't know....stupid horrible thoughts, Like I all of a sudden hit my brothers dog who i was playing with
> 
> 
> ...


Did anything happen recently to stress you out?

Stress is the main thing that causes intrusive thoughts in my opinion. At the end of the day we are all victims of our hormones, ever noticed guys juiced up on steroids are brash, confident, and aggressive?? It's not really a mental thing on their part it's the testosterone.

Same with women who are PMS'ing, i live with three women who will get confrontational and have an edge to them and will cry at the drop of a hat when watching chick flicks where as other times they can watch different movies with the same sad situations in them and not cry at all. It's all to do with their hormones.

Our stress system revolves around adrenaline and cortisol and when there is an excess in our system for whatever reason it can cause us to obsess, feel depressed, worry, feel anxious etc. It also explains why at times you can have these thoughts and not worry about them at all where as other times it will cause us to panic etc. It's all symptoms of an over active stress system.

I was reading a good article about how adrenaline can effect us when there is an excess of it in our system.



> It is excess adrenaline that is responsible for the sudden anxiety attacks coming from within the body. Thus anxiety is a fear response without an external object of fear also known as 'floating anxiety'. Very often the mind invents an object by a process that psychologists call 'reverse conditioning', whereby any random object in the environment is paired to a powerful emotional response. The environmental cue becomes the stimulus (the cause of) for the fear response. This can also be demonstrated if we inject a rat with adrenaline and it will develop a fear at any innocuous object in its cage. It might even bite you.
> 
> Thus if you have an anxiety attack and you happen to be in a lift, then the lift may become a trigger for anxiety at a subsequent event. This Reverse conditioning or the pairing of an external stimulus with a fear response may be seen as the mechanism by which a person develops a phobia. That stimulus then becomes the trigger for the fear response or a delusion. If you happen to have an anxiety attack in a crowded spaces or enclosed public place, then you may develop agoraphobia. See notes.
> 
> Since adrenaline forces you to focus on the "enemy", it is also also responsible for excessive rumination, and compulsions, leading to Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (OCD).


http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/beating-anxiety-and-phobias/

No one really knows why we think the thoughts that we do, they're influenced by our life experience, what we see on the tv etc. Fact is we can think of anything, good and bad. Just cause we think it doesn't mean we believe it or are going to act on it. I used to be hard on myself asking ''why can i think of such things'' but everybody goes through it, and just because you can have a random thought doesn't mean you believe it or can act on it. Just need to be able to break the cycle.

Excess adrenaline = spurs a scary thought = we get anxious over that scary thought = releasing of more adrenaline = cycle repeated

Not reacting to the thoughts will stop the release of excess adrenaline, but during times of high adrenaline it's hard to think clearly so finding the cause of the hormonal imbalance is key to clearing it up.

`


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## orca (Nov 21, 2011)

Look this is exactly what started me into my downward spiral of anxiety.

I had fucked up intrusive thoughts which made me doubt myself, it gave me a lot of anxiety, I was only 17 and thougt I was being possessed or some shit and going insane..

All I can say to help you, is acknloledge the thoughts that they are there and that they are a mere thought that don't mean anything if you don't act upon them, I know that bad feeling you'd be getting when it starts getting to the point where you feel like you may give in and act on it but you won't because it's just a random thought that's not part of you and your morals.
But by just accepting that the thought is there and it's just a thought that your not going to waste nervous energy on they will go away,

Best of luck,

Orca.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

shogun said:


> Did anything happen recently to stress you out?
> 
> Stress is the main thing that causes intrusive thoughts in my opinion. At the end of the day we are all victims of our hormones, ever noticed guys juiced up on steroids are brash, confident, and aggressive?? It's not really a mental thing on their part it's the testosterone.
> 
> ...


That's a good point, but I have to disagree.

I know I said on my post that this is probably linked to anxiety, but some times I didn't feel anxious at all!!

... or maybe I did, I just didn't realise it.


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

miguelmalato said:


> That's a good point, but I have to disagree.
> 
> I know I said on my post that this is probably linked to anxiety, but some times I didn't feel anxious at all!!
> 
> ... or maybe I did, I just didn't realise it.


You'll know when you're anxious, some people to go numb to it though, like when someone is in a state of shock.



> Common symptoms that sufferers of acute stress disorder experience are: numbing; detachment; derealization; depersonalization or dissociative amnesia; continued re-experiencing of the event by such ways as thoughts, dreams, and flashbacks; and avoidance of any stimulation that reminds them of the event. During this time, they must have symptoms of anxiety, and significant impairment in at least one essential area of functioning. Symptoms last for a minimum of 2 days, and a maximum of 4 weeks, and occur within 4 weeks of the event


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_stress_reaction

Not saying you're in shock, just emphasizing that people can feel nothing even when there body is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol and the fact that you're on a website for DP shows that there is a numbness there.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

shogun said:


> You'll know when you're anxious, some people to go numb to it though, like when someone is in a state of shock.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_stress_reaction
> 
> Not saying you're in shock, just emphasizing that people can feel nothing even when there body is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol and the fact that you're on a website for DP shows that there is a numbness there.


Your argument fails to counter the following.

How can this be stress related, if my heart beat is at 50/60 bpms and I'm in a completly chilled mood, and yet I feel completly detached from reality?

How can I feel this way and not in some agitative, anxious state? Isn't all anxiety accompained by physical syntoms?


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

miguelmalato said:


> Your argument fails to counter the following.
> 
> How can this be stress related, if my heart beat is at 50/60 bpms and I'm in a completly chilled mood, and yet I feel completly detached from reality?
> 
> How can I feel this way and not in some agitative, anxious state? Isn't all anxiety accompained by physical syntoms?


Did you have a heart rate monitor on to check your heart rate, or are you just guessing it?

Also do you even know what your resting heart rate was in your natural non-dp state, how can you tell there is a difference if you don't even know your baseline? They also found in atheletes that are over trained (physical and mental stress both have the same effects on the body) that RHR isn't a reliable factor in predicting over training syndrome rather heart rate variability is.

Plus there's also the question that's nagging me, if you feel completely chilled out as you put it, why are you on a website complaining about your symptoms? If you were chilled you wouldn't give a shit.

Sounds more like you are being contrary for the sake of it.


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

Not to mention that DP has been proposed to be an adaption to stress. Doesn't mean you're stressed 24/7, could mean you were intensely stressed at some point and have since gotten over that stressor.

Like how some people smoke weed or whatever and are left with DP and the symptoms persist well after the drug has left their system.


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## Rock Rose (Dec 14, 2010)

miguelmalato said:


> Your argument fails to counter the following.
> 
> How can this be stress related, if my heart beat is at 50/60 bpms and I'm in a completly chilled mood, and yet I feel completly detached from reality?
> 
> How can I feel this way and not in some agitative, anxious state? Isn't all anxiety accompained by physical syntoms?


I'm with you on that one. I feel unreal while being calm, while meditating, while enjoying myself, as well as when dealing with complex emotional problems and anxiety. Stranger still is that being in a scary situation (fear, not anxiety) connects me strongly to my body (though not to the world). Things like roller coasters, standing on high cliffs, hiding in shelters while my neighbourhood is being bombed from above (happened many times) - they all make me FEEL.

So, though dp/dr correlates to anxiety, i don't think anxiety is the only thing that triggers it.


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

Rock Rose said:


> hiding in shelters while my neighbourhood is being bombed from above (happened many times)


Where do you live?


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## Rock Rose (Dec 14, 2010)

shogun said:


> Plus there's also the question that's nagging me, if you feel completely chilled out as you put it, why are you on a website complaining about your symptoms? If you were chilled you wouldn't give a shit.
> 
> Sounds more like you are being contrary for the sake of it.


A person can feel dp/dr in more than one state, and can have many, contradicting, emotions towards the condition (and towards anything else). If someone says they feel dp/dr even when they are relaxed it's best to accept that that's how they feel and work from there. It's very patronizing to tell them you know better than them how they feel. Not to mention it tends to get people pissed off.


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## Rock Rose (Dec 14, 2010)

shogun said:


> Where do you live?


middle-east. rather not say exactly where.


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

Rock Rose said:


> A person can feel dp/dr in more than one state, and can have many, contradicting, emotions towards the condition (and towards anything else). If someone says they feel dp/dr even when they are relaxed it's best to accept that that's how they feel and work from there. It's very patronizing to tell them you know better than them how they feel. Not to mention it tends to get people pissed off.


When someones says something like ''your argument fails to counter the following'' i will go on and express my side of my argument.

I know DP/DR can appear for all different kinds of reasons and i never said that this is the be all and end all. My personal experience is mine is bought on by stress and anxiety and in the context of this thread with intrusive thoughts and what not i thought the thread starter would get comfort in knowing about the stress response that goes on that can trigger intrusive thoughts.

The DP/DR bought on by epilepsy will be treated completely different to those that are bought on by anxiety and whatever other condition may cause it. I was just explaining one side of it and then i was getting bombarded with ''your argument is wrong because i feel this way when i feel completely fine'' doesn't make my argument wrong it makes your experience with DP different from mine. If you're going to pull me up on being patronizing you have to pull him up aswell.


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## Rock Rose (Dec 14, 2010)

shogun said:


> If you're going to pull me up on being patronizing you have to pull him up aswell.


I'm glad you cleared that up, put like that I have no argument with you. 
Yet
Just so we're clear: I don't HAVE to do anything.
What you said, or more likely- how you said it -pissed me off because i'm (apparently) sensitive to the matter (or maybe I'm just random). I do not claim to be fair or balanced.


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## shogun (May 15, 2010)

Rock Rose said:


> I'm glad you cleared that up, put like that I have no argument with you.
> Yet
> Just so we're clear: I don't HAVE to do anything.
> What you said, or more likely- how you said it -pissed me off because i'm (apparently) sensitive to the matter (or maybe I'm just random). I do not claim to be fair or balanced.


It can piss you off all you want i don't really care. You obviously have your own views to why YOU have DP so you stick to that.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

shogun said:


> Did you have a heart rate monitor on to check your heart rate, or are you just guessing it?
> 
> Also do you even know what your resting heart rate was in your natural non-dp state, how can you tell there is a difference if you don't even know your baseline? They also found in atheletes that are over trained (physical and mental stress both have the same effects on the body) that RHR isn't a reliable factor in predicting over training syndrome rather heart rate variability is.
> 
> ...


I didn't have a heart monitor. I had a watch.

I actually thoght to myself: "Hell, do I even feel anxious? I was in a crowded, populated area. My heart rate was of 55 bpm. That's extremely low. And yet, I could barely feel the presence of others. I felt completly detached.

I wasn't in any stressed state. I was calm. I was peaceful. And I was detached.

So there's definetly something more at hand here than just raw anxiety and stress.

I can be either having sex, or smoking pot, standing near a cliff, or in my bed. I feel exactly the same, anywhere I am, with whomever I am.

I can be jerking off, running or sitting peacefully on my couch. The detachment doesn't fucking dissapear.

You sound like you don't suffer from this at all...


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## I Met Melancholy (Jun 30, 2012)

Rapidhopeloss said:


> Does anybody get horrible intrusive thoughts? Over the past few days I have been getting them..and they are making me feel even more worse then normal.. I could be speaking to somebody and suddenly have a thought pop into my head of "what if I punched them in the face right now?!" etc etc..stupid horrible things like that, I know it sounds mental, I feel like I AM mental. This is horrible and I am avoiding people as much as I can right now because of these. Thoughts like this strike my mind and I just suddenly feel worried/sick/panicky.. Like, what if I end up doing something like that?!! What if I lose control of myself and do it!?
> 
> I'm also freaking out because I feel like I don't know who I am at all, Like...im here in this body but I'm not here,if that makes sense? just like some sort of robot going through the motions. I can't feel happy or excited anymore and I wish to god I could just feel like I used to
> 
> ...


I see that this was posted on here a while ago,and that there has been many reply's to this, but i though i would add, im new to the site and this was the first topic i looked up for myself, as you can tell, you are not alone and those thoughts are a normal part of dp, witch i have to convince myself sometimes... it's scary to be speaking to someone and randomly think what if i just beat them to a pulp. idk bout you, but it makes me want to hide. I have a strong fear of losing control, especially cus i have had anger issues in the past, even before my dp and anxiety attacks. When it happens to me though, i remind myself that if i was going crazy and was going to hurt someone, i would have allready did it and not of felt anything... the fact that you fear the thought and realize it isn't right, is proof that you won't do it. Crazy people don't know they are crazy







idk if you have gotten over this symptom in the time since you posted this, but i felt this would be a good thing to say on it.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

shogun said:


> Did anything happen recently to stress you out?
> 
> Stress is the main thing that causes intrusive thoughts in my opinion. At the end of the day we are all victims of our hormones, ever noticed guys juiced up on steroids are brash, confident, and aggressive?? It's not really a mental thing on their part it's the testosterone.
> 
> ...


The thing is... I don't think this is stress or adrenaline related, for most of the times I am actually feeling pretty relaxed when these thoughts take place.


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