# Is ego death reversible?



## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

Hi everyone, two months ago I experienced a very traumatic night which lead to a completely dissolution of my ego. It seems as if it's just completely inaccessible. I have no inner monologue, sense of self, connection to my emotional attachments, motivation, sense of time, ability to get excited, etc. It's awful. I'm just stuck in this vegetable state... is there any way to reconnect with my ego? (Posting here because I've struggled with Dp/Dr since this night as well, and I believe many of the "symptoms" of Dp/Dr and ego dissolution are shared, so maybe someone else here is experiencing this too)


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## sunnykb1 (Oct 29, 2016)

hello! i agree that dpdr does in itself share a sense of ego death, I experienced ego death about a year in a half ago due to a dramatic event also and have been in your shoes asking those questions, i chose to look at it as a clean slate and accepted that this is part of my story here. on a positive perspective you get the opportunity to build yourself back up in a healthier more confident, verses, cocky way. that has helped tremendously to feel like i have a bit of "ego" back. when really it is just healthy self of steam. i do think personally you can gain an ego back one way or another because we choose what to feed our heads and i think if thats something you want to go back too, then its obtainable.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

sunnykb1 said:


> hello! i agree that dpdr does in itself share a sense of ego death, I experienced ego death about a year in a half ago due to a dramatic event also and have been in your shoes asking those questions, i chose to look at it as a clean slate and accepted that this is part of my story here. on a positive perspective you get the opportunity to build yourself back up in a healthier more confident, verses, cocky way. that has helped tremendously to feel like i have a bit of "ego" back. when really it is just healthy self of steam. i do think personally you can gain an ego back one way or another because we choose what to feed our heads and i think if thats something you want to go back too, then its obtainable.


thank you for your reply. would you be able to explain some of your ego death-related symptoms?


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## Marinkawr (Jul 21, 2016)

It does come back, i couldn't understand who i am, didn't have any connection with my body, my thoughts, my emotions. Since i've started ssri and antipsychotics my ego came back, not all my emotions though, but my recovery was huge.


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## schizo699 (Sep 10, 2016)

Marinkawr said:


> It does come back, i couldn't understand who i am, didn't have any connection with my body, my thoughts, my emotions. Since i've started ssri and antipsychotics my ego came back, not all my emotions though, but my recovery was huge.


I have been on every f**cking antipsychotic and SSRI and it did not come back to me.

You were psychotic.... The ego canNOT come back. I am 16 months after.


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## derrrr (Dec 7, 2016)

schizo699 said:


> I have been on every f**cking antipsychotic and SSRI and it did not come back to me.
> 
> You were psychotic.... The ego canNOT come back. I am 16 months after.


It can because it's not actually gone. My theory is that it's "trapped"; you just need to get it out of the trap. Finding out how to pull it out is the tricky part, but it generally seems to involve building up a sense of safety so that it can come out again.


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

schizo699 said:


> I have been on every f**cking antipsychotic and SSRI and it did not come back to me.
> 
> You were psychotic.... The ego canNOT come back. I am 16 months after.


16 months and you think you've tried it all? so now you are fact, it's official, it cannot come back... nonsense.

Why do you have to call someone psychotic because meds helped them... just because you are suffering does not warrant a comment like this...

"it hasn't happened me, i've tried X & Y, for 16 months" would have been a better comment... I can get my ego back with emotions... for me that's Mirtazapine, no other of many drugs, Lithium, Quietapine, Olanzapine, Benzo's, Zoloft, Depekote, Lamotrigine and probably about 3/4 others i've tried could. Mirtazapine took 3 months until I even hinted at my Ego.. for you to have tried 3 months, you'd have tried 3/4 AD's...

So you haven't even tried every TYPE of AD if you were giving them a good shot, never mind anywhere near every AD and many people here recover 100% that includes ego.


Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs)
Atypical antidepressants.
Tricyclic antidepressants.
Monamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs)


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## schizo699 (Sep 10, 2016)

Well, I can't convince you... I don't think that ego death changes the brain chemistry. Yes, I tried mirtazapine as well(for months). It is not in the brain, it's not physical. I had a brain scan even.

By the way don't p*ss me off talking about dp Dr when I am talking ego death... I know what dp Dr is because I used to have it before ego death. Actually my Dr dp was the reason for taking the psychedelic... it is two different things...

I am not keen on taking any more psychotropic...


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