# 8 Years



## Guest (Jul 26, 2011)

So here I am, 8 years later. I've done nothing but obsess and think about DP/DR every moment of every day since it's come into my life. Obviously that isn't working towards recovery. And all of those who recover say that's exactly what NOT to do. Well, I've been here before, posting that I would change my ways and live life. But that's not going to happen. It's like an addiction of mine, to think about DP/DR. What I mean by thinking about it is just simply that I basically try to change my psyche to suddenly snap out of DP/DR and Recover. But I'm just as lost as I was any number of up to 8 years ago. Recovery COULD be just around the corner, but I just don't see it, even though I have always been positive and 100% certain that I WILL RECOVER. And I still hold that belief/attitude. To be fair, I have come a long ways in coping with DP/DR since I learned what it was that I had, and found this forum, 2 years ago. So in 2 years of knowing I wasn't alone and having the support of this awesome forum, I've made more progress than in all those other 6 years combined. I am completely relaxed and anxiety free. The symptoms are all still there, but they barely even bother me anymore. What's weird is that the drive for recovery is diminishing. Since I can cope so well, it no longer seems like a problem. *Sigh*... IDK. I feel like I can move on with my life finally, but I find myself stagnated ... paralyzed ... confused as what to do with myself. And now I regret letting DP/DR be a crutch in my life.

And all of that beside, I am glad I've had DP/DR. It's given me an Unique View of Life that I wouldn't trade for my old perspective. "Ignorance is Bliss" as they say. Can anyone relate with that?


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

My advice is: Do nothing. nothing about the condition, nothing about your confusion nothing about your mind nothing about your mood and nothing about your thoughts...Let it be and it ill dissappear and you will find your self more present than ever...

I repeat...Yeah you guessed it DO NOTHING!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> And all of that beside, I am glad I've had DP/DR. It's given me an Unique View of Life that I wouldn't trade for my old perspective. "Ignorance is Bliss" as they say. Can anyone relate with that?


I wouldn't trade all the suffering I've endured if it meant going back to being an unconscious conditioned person. DP/DR stripped me of everything and has forced me to be still. If I had continued to live the way I was before I would be in a career field that is stressful and that I don't want to be in, have a bunch of fake relationships with people, and be someone that I am not. The suffering is near unbearable but the perspective one gains through the suffering of DP/DR can be priceless.

This quote resonates with my life...

"It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything" 
-Fight Club


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

surfingisfun001 said:


> I wouldn't trade all the suffering I've endured if it meant going back to being an unconscious conditioned person. DP/DR stripped me of everything and has forced me to be still. If I had continued to live the way I was before I would be in a career field that is stressful and that I don't want to be in, have a bunch of fake relationships with people, and be someone that I am not. The suffering is near unbearable but the perspective one gains through the suffering of DP/DR can be priceless.
> 
> This quote resonates with my life...
> 
> ...


That quote is dope. What DP/Dr has definitely done for me is take away any fear i have of anything. I dont fear dying, i dont fear losing control. Its just made me emotionally numb. In a sense i feel like an invincible mortal. Ive already seen the worst of hell so what do i have to be afraid of?...


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## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

I already know that I'm headed down the same path as you are. I just don't want to accept it though. So many dreams and hopes and aspirations robbed from me. I would empty out my entire bank account just to feel normal for a change.


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## RedRain (Nov 16, 2010)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Unique View of Life


I've only had DP/DR for about a year, but I think I know exactly what you mean...


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

*And all of that beside, I am glad I've had DP/DR. It's given me an Unique View of Life that I wouldn't trade for my old perspective. "Ignorance is Bliss" as they say. Can anyone relate with that?*

The changes made to deal with this are profound.

While a little more bliss might be welcome, we can now learn peace and contentment _with_ knowledge and come out the better from our adversities.

Not only is there hope, there is more than hope&#8230;


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

I can totally relate. It's been about 8 1/2 years for me, and I don't seem to be as determined to find a way out of it as I was before, and I can't really tell whether that's me giving up on recovery or the opposite, that it's getting better at least enough that I don't obsess about it so much. It may be a little of both--my most recent therapist thought that my dp has to do with my way of attaching to other people, since it started after a breakup. That makes it kind of a shield against intimacy, and maybe part of me doesn't want to let that go. On the other hand, obsessing about it hasn't made it go away, so getting to a place where it doesn't bother me seems like a good thing, if I'm still trying to work on it. I just moved to a little town that may not have a therapist with any dp experience, but I'm not too far from some pretty awesome medical facilities, so here's hoping!


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