# dear lord i feel like i am dying or going mentally ill any second



## mattyplop (Aug 16, 2008)

Hi

these past few weeks have been so hard for me and my dp/dr, i feel like i am going to die every night and i now do not go to sleep until 8am and waking up at 4pm every day, i am currently taking 40mg of citalopram and 2mg of clonazapam, tried different tablets but withramn really bad!

my dp has got really really bad a few week ago, me and my partner started getting homophobic abbuse so when he goes to work i am house bound as i darnt leave the house, we are moving into a new house on the 1st of feb, but i feel my mental health is deterating really quick!

my life has been in one big bubble for the past 6 years now and i really feel like giving up even though i have a phobia of dying!

my symptoms now are, dissorientated all day, eye twiching, hazziness, panic attacks, fear of death every second of every day, insomnia, fear of sleeping, weird thoughts and feelings i cant explain, weird visions of people i have never seen in my life!

i feel i am getting worse, i need to know i am OK and i am fine but i cant as i feel i am not!

please can someone relate?

thankyou for reading

matthew


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## resinoptes (Jan 15, 2011)

I felt like that a few weeks ago, it will pass. I hate those intrusive thoughts too! 
Don't worry, maybe make some tea or something, chamomile is good
*hugs*


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## snowcat3030 (Sep 30, 2010)

mattyplop said:


> Hi
> 
> these past few weeks have been so hard for me and my dp/dr, i feel like i am going to die every night and i now do not go to sleep until 8am and waking up at 4pm every day, i am currently taking 40mg of citalopram and 2mg of clonazapam, tried different tablets but withramn really bad!
> 
> ...


I am sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time Matt. You mention giving up - well don't. It sounds like you are suffering from an anxiety cycle that has not broken. I would recommend finding another Psychiatrist if you didn't allready have one. You need to find a professional that actually MAKES you feel better and if the current PDOC isn't working take your $100 bucks for a 20 minutes consult to a psychiatrist that does help. I have been through the anxiety symptoms you mention in a CHRONIC way. I must ask though, are the visions of people you have never met in your head or do you see them in your visual field? If it is in your mind I'd say it is racing thoughts. Which is a symptom where you get weird nonsence random thoughts that FLOOD your brain when you are anxious. It is a symptom of anxiety and also bipolar disorder thought yours is probably from anxiety alone.

I am sorry to hear that your partner is recieving homophobic abuse. I get so f*cken piss*d off with homophobes, they deserve to be sued. Most of my friends are gay although I am straight and I wouldn't hesitate to stick up in defence of any of those guys. What is wrong with people these days? Anyways,

I hope you get better fast Matt, and good luck.


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