# New here, and a little bit worried..



## textliner (Dec 12, 2015)

hey, this is my first time on here.. i've been trying to find information through links and other people's experiences but i never found what i was looking for, and thought i'd come to a forum for some help if possible. i've been depressed/anxious for a few years now i guess, but lately, maybe within the last 6 months, i've had this feeling that none of my thoughts are real. Like i'm just making them all up. I'll be sad sometimes just randomly, or even if something happens, and always without a doubt at one point i'll sit there and say to myself "it doesn't even matter, you're just making this up anyway, you're not actually sad." really, it just makes me feel worse. sometimes it happens when i'm happy, too. and not the fake happy, "smile because other people are around kind", but the kind of happiness i thought was genuine. Every other thing i've read about depersonalization always says people don't feel like the world around them is real/they're numb/they feel like they're in a movie. I don't feel that. I do feel like time is always moving a bit too fast, and an hour is gone in a few minutes, but i don't know.. i've taken those online tests, and they all say there's a risk..also sometimes i feel like i'm just on automatic, doing things without thinking about it..like i'm not actually even doing them..

*i suppose my real question is, how do you tell the difference between symptoms of depression and symptoms of depersonalization*? i know lack of emotion/lack of empathy/dissociation are all symptoms of depression, but this feeling that nothing i'm thinking is real...i don't know why that's happening. *can i have this disorder without the major physical aspects of it?* or am i just thinking that this is me, and really it's just depression.

i guess it really gets me when i'm not sure i'm in love, either. like i'm lying to my boyfriend about all the feelings i have for him. probably what triggered most of these thoughts of me making things up, i think..sometimes when we kiss even,.. *it doesn't feel real afterwards. like it never actually happened... *


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## glorii26 (Dec 9, 2015)

textliner said:


> hey, this is my first time on here.. i've been trying to find information through links and other people's experiences but i never found what i was looking for, and thought i'd come to a forum for some help if possible. i've been depressed/anxious for a few years now i guess, but lately, maybe within the last 6 months, i've had this feeling that none of my thoughts are real. Like i'm just making them all up. I'll be sad sometimes just randomly, or even if something happens, and always without a doubt at one point i'll sit there and say to myself "it doesn't even matter, you're just making this up anyway, you're not actually sad." really, it just makes me feel worse. sometimes it happens when i'm happy, too. and not the fake happy, "smile because other people are around kind", but the kind of happiness i thought was genuine. Every other thing i've read about depersonalization always says people don't feel like the world around them is real/they're numb/they feel like they're in a movie. I don't feel that. I do feel like time is always moving a bit too fast, and an hour is gone in a few minutes, but i don't know.. i've taken those online tests, and they all say there's a risk..also sometimes i feel like i'm just on automatic, doing things without thinking about it..like i'm not actually even doing them..
> 
> *i suppose my real question is, how do you tell the difference between symptoms of depression and symptoms of depersonalization*? i know lack of emotion/lack of empathy/dissociation are all symptoms of depression, but this feeling that nothing i'm thinking is real...i don't know why that's happening. *can i have this disorder without the major physical aspects of it?* or am i just thinking that this is me, and really it's just depression.
> 
> i guess it really gets me when i'm not sure i'm in love, either. like i'm lying to my boyfriend about all the feelings i have for him. probably what triggered most of these thoughts of me making things up, i think..sometimes when we kiss even,.. *it doesn't feel real afterwards. like it never actually happened... *


me too. especially about the last paragraph....I'm not really sure how to tell the difference. Personally, I categorized myself as having DP, but I don't have the major symptoms either. Like I have the feeling of nothing being real, but I also have the feeling like you're on automatic that you were talking about...


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## Alan (Jan 26, 2015)

First, I'll say what I say to everyone and that is that I (and indeed nobody else on the site) am not a medical professional and cannot definitively diagnose you. I'd suggest you see a professional, but be aware that finding someone that is even familiar with depersonalisation is difficult -- sometimes you have to be outright persistent to be taken seriously, as many around here will attest. That said, I'd be wary of deciding ahead of time that you have this, especially if you're prone to hypochondria or health anxiety.

What exactly do you mean by "the major physical aspects"? If you're taking about symptoms of derealisation (the outside world not appearing real) then certainly depersonalisation can occur independently of those type of symptoms, though from my experience on this site it isn't that common -- most people experience both, to varying degrees.

There is a degree of overlap with regards to depersonalisation and other mental health conditions, including depression -- they commonly occur together. Some people have great success in treating their depersonalisation by treating the primary condition first, others require a different approach. It's highly dependent on the individual.

Hope that clears up some things for you, and welcome to the site


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## textliner (Dec 12, 2015)

glorii26 said:


> me too. especially about the last paragraph....I'm not really sure how to tell the difference. Personally, I categorized myself as having DP, but I don't have the major symptoms either. Like I have the feeling of nothing being real, but I also have the feeling like you're on automatic that you were talking about...


yeah, i feel as if i'm not really allowed to feel as though i can relate and say i might have dp because i don't have some of the symptoms everybody else seems to be saying.. but thank you, knowing someone else feels the same is a nice thought. thank you


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