# DP/DR/DEPRESSION/ANXIETY/HPPD/BRAIN FOG



## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

!!!!!!!!!


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## KDM (May 9, 2007)

You read my mind.


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## Guest (Jun 5, 2007)

I hear you Tigersuit. Sorry you aren't coping well mate.


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

Put some really loud music on and sing as loud as you can.
works for me.

3098


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

ife.


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

Don't take it again, ask your doctor for some Valium.
It's pretty much the same thing but a lot easier to give up.

3098


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

Cnk.


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

I have just sent you a PM


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)




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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

Good to see you still have your sense of humor :lol:

3098


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## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

Hang in there. Everyone has setbacks but you can get through this.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

It will take 10 days for clonazepam to completly leave your body. But the half life is gone by 2 days so your in withdrawal now.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

d.


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## sammydabull (Apr 23, 2007)

I have never done acid, but I know what its about, and I can most certainly say that the way I feel is probably what its like.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

[q


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## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

Well I was stupid enough to try ecstacy and I can clearly say that it feels the same but backwards, or the reverse side of it.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

id.


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## Guest (Jun 6, 2007)

If what Jimmyb says it correct... and it's like the reverse feeling of acid... then it would be a "much" different effect then acid. *pushes specs up* :lol:


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

At.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Tigersuit your doctor is right actually. When your under alot of stress it's a piss poor time to give up anything. So you should probley wait until everything cools down.

My doctor told me the same thing about how having regular sleep paterns is important. He said that having my sleep patterns all over the place makes my bipolar 10 times worse.

He often askes me when do you usually go to bed? My usual response to this is well i think i slept for a few hours about 2 day's ago. That is unless im in the depressed mode and then my response is well ive been sleeping about 16 hours everyday so it's kinda hard to remember when i go to bed or wake up.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)




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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

eme.


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## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

Tigersuit said:


> jimmyb said:
> 
> 
> > Well I was stupid enough to try ecstacy and I can clearly say that it feels the same but backwards, or the reverse side of it.
> ...


I take it you've tried both then. I always feel like I've done this to myself but I really can't know any of the facts. I felt fine for weeks after taking it but then I slowly decended into this state of conciousness which is subsiding slowly - fingers crossed I will get better soon:

*prays to god*


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2007)

You've started on it again? Have i missed something or... are you just giving it another shot? I hope it works better for you this time mate.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're going through on hell of a time so there's no wonder you feel like shite from time to time.



Tigersuit said:


> I'm back on clonazepam.
> 
> I'm starting to hate my life to the extreme.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

[thing.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

[quote no it.


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2007)

I'm glad you're trying it again *if* the depression was down to lack of sleep ect. Once you've returned back to a normal sleeping pattern, hopefully you're depression with ease and all will be good.

Good luck.



Tigersuit said:


> I'm giving it another shot. My psychiatrist gave me reason to believe that my depression is a result of an abnormal sleeping pattern, not the clonazepam.
> 
> Since I've taken it, it's really helped the anxiety and HPPD, but the depression and DR are still there, although, not as severely as they were earlier this week. I still feel dreadful about everything.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

I feel like my brain is dead. I've never felt so stupid. I can't remember anything, I feel like I can't think. Sometimes I do some questions on Math, English and Hebrew just to see if my brain still works and I didn't lose all of my intelligence. It's so scary sometimes.

And it seems like I'm going to the university next year. I can't see myself doing well there. Maybe if it was before my dp started I could do better. But now... I don't know. I'm really really scared.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Id say the depression is more then likely a result of screwed up sleep patterns. Benzodiazepines can cause depression in some people but this is only after months or years of use. And at the dose you where on it wouldnt really be a problem as it was such a really low dose.

As for your doctor mentioning bipolar i don't know your symptoms seem not to fit it. Although hypomania is especially hard to notice yourself because it just feels as if your overjoyed. But you also get really poor judgement, feel deleriously happy at things that would make a so called normal person just a tiny bit happy, you can go without sleep for days sometimes without feeling tired or just sleep very little and not feel tired and you also tend to get very chatty with everyone. Being manic or hypomanic feels like you did the best line of coke ever.

It really takes a shrink to diagnose bipolar although mine didnt do a great job of it.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

ket.


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## jonnyfiasco (Apr 20, 2007)

Tigersuit, unfortunately if your body is going to heal itself you need to give it time. Drastic times call for drastic measures right?? I would particularly recommend taking a look at your diet and cutting out all things that contain unnatural chemicals and toxins, and dont use your microwave. Become drug free (I would say forever but if you feel you can play with them again at a later stage thats your prerogative). Do some hard exercise daily. Throw your TV out the window (its mostly negative stuff, We take it as a normal thing humans do. I personally think it is common but we were not designed to be bombarded with negative images and words like that). Drink lots of water. Get regular sleep pattern. Drastic? Yes. Difficult? Fuck yeah. Impossible? No. Commit to that for a year consistently and you will feel like you guys say in America "a million bucks".

Of course you have the choice to keep taking your medication as a cure and not changing your lifestyle but of course you cant say that you are making much of an effort or caring too much to change.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

od.


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## jonnyfiasco (Apr 20, 2007)

I appreciate all your saying and I may have got the wrong idea of you, but I dont think you have to put your life on hold to do these things. It can become a lifestyle choice.

And as for diet, well some peoples ideas of healthy eating are anothers ideas of poisoning your body and vice versa. My diet is... If its natural, eat it. If its unnatural try to avoid.

As for water - well you have to research it further, but bottled water is not always particularly healthy water, It depends on a variety of factors but a lot of bottled water is just tap water. Plus what is in tap water these days. Traces of birth control hormones, anti-seizure meds, rocket fuel etc etc even fluroide.

Im just saying I would research all bases in extreme minute detail. Drinking bottled water or practicing vegetarianism is a great start but if not researched properly can have detrimental effects to health.

TV. Well thats your choice. As I said I dont think we were designed to be bombarded with extreme amounts of negativity all the time but thats up to you. I personally noticed a pattern myself in how I felt after watching TV. Just remember the brain cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imaginary. If you visualise yourself exercising such as running, your actual muscles involved in this process are used. Imagine what happens if you are watching horror films, the news etc all the time.

But as I say I may have got the wrong idea of you and if I have I apologise, it just seems to me that every time I come on here I hear you complaining of how you feel bad and whats wrong, or what drug you took this time or the next etc rather than what you are doing about it or could be doing about it.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

nt.


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## jonnyfiasco (Apr 20, 2007)

Sorry I dont mean to come across as harsh, just trying to help. Good to see you keeping the faith.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

r.


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## brandon is not taken (Mar 29, 2007)

Tigersuit, this may sound harsh.

Every time i come on this forum you have a new post about your new dose of klonopin. One day you are quitting for good. the next day you are taking .125 mg a day, the next day you are taking 1 mg a day, and so on and so on. It seems you have a big problem following through with anything that you plan on doing. Make your decision and stick to it(and i think your decision should be to quit benzos).

If you want to heal yourself, lifestyle changes such as what jonny reccomended are what is going to help you. Take what he said to the heart. Daily changes in the drugs (legal or otherwise) you use is not going to help you. It seems like you think you just need to find the perfect ratio of drugs and you will live happily ever after. This is not the case.

Before you come on here and post your next big decision about drugs, think if it is something you are really going to stick to or not. Otherwise, it is hard to believe you.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

ose?


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## brandon is not taken (Mar 29, 2007)

Tigersuit said:


> Do you have HPPD? Do you have drug induced DP/DR?
> 
> I actually envy a lot of you. My DP/DR was infinitely more tolerable before I took shrooms and acid.


I have had drug induced dp/dr. I am much better now, and not on drugs. Why do you envy anyone here? Don't even try to get into a battle about whos condition is worse. We all have or had dp/dr bad enough to drive us on the long search that leads to this website.



Tigersuit said:


> Honestly, if clonazepam is my cure-all drug, I'm going to take it for the rest of my life.


I have heard you say many times clonazepam is a "cure-all drug", but then you go on to say you dont even feel totally better when you are on it. You seem to be thinking everyone has a "cure-all" drug. Sorry, but that is not how it works (except maybe antibiotics??) And if it is so great for you why do you keep deciding to quit it?



Tigersuit said:


> What do i have to lose?


A whole whole lot. A simple search for the effects of long term klonopin use will show you that. Try to search the internet for one positive personal story of long term clonazepam use and let me know if you find it...

There are alot of things you can do to get better. You can even do nothing and time will most likely heal you. You just seem to be focusing too much of your energy into the wrong things (drugs)


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## Loki (Jul 16, 2005)

Brandon, atittudes like yours I find really annoying. Tigersuit is just venting whatever frustrations he's experiencing, whats the problem?

As for you thinking it would be best for him to quit benzos, you should really respect whatever choice he makes regarding meds.

I dont understand all this puritanical nonsense concerning meds. DP is a pretty tough thing to have to endure and if medication eases our symptoms and provides relief and a chance to live a better life then that is a good thing. My father is a psychiatrist and he completely supports me in my choice to take medication, it has been an extremely useful tool in dealing with my DP.

Tigersuit, the one thing I agree with in Brandons post is you should try your best to make a commited decision to either take the klonopin or not and if you do stick to a consistent dose. It sounds like you need to be persistent in one or the other so that your body can properly adapt.

Hang in there, I know its no picnic in the sun. By the way my DP was also drug induced.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

say.


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## jonnyfiasco (Apr 20, 2007)

Tiger I know you probably feel frustrated but I just wanted to say that I wonder if 3 months was enough? The way I see things like that sometimes is if you have planted a seed for a beautiful flower and you take care of it every day intensively for 3 months. Water it, talk to it, give it sun, feed it. And at the end of the 3 months you see that nothing has grown. In depsair you give up and chuck it out in the trash. But little did you know that just underneath that surface, millimeters away, the flower was just about ready to sprout out with the most exquisite flower anyone has ever seen.

Our innate intelligence the thing that knows when and how to heal a cut, operate our organs without us being conscious about it etc etc knows homeostasis and is constantly trying to get us there. Put yourself in the right environment and give yourself enough care over a LONG period of time and it will happen. Our body regenerates itself so quickly I think new research points to a brand new body in terms of cells in one year.

All you need to make sure is that your body is producing healthy cells and not replicating unhealthy ones.

As for exercise, if you do go on intense program you will actually need to nutritionally supplement yourself for your recovery periods because your body needs much more nutrients in that period than if you lived a sedentary lifestyle. If you dont then the exercise can have the opposite effect and cause extreme biochemical stress on your body while it is recovering but not having the nutrients behind it to do the job.

And by nutrients I dont mean the multivitamin that you can pick up at any random store, because the huge majority of supplements are actually synthetically formed and even though under a microscope the molecule looks the same it does not contain life force and the body sees it as foreign and will try to get rid of it. You will need to get living, wholefood supplements such as spirulina, brewers yeast, goji berries, chlorella etc etc

Hope that helps some


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## jonnyfiasco (Apr 20, 2007)

As a side note, I would not recommend coming off Clonazepam anytime soon as it is helping you out at the moment but I would make a plan to come off it when you feel mentally, physically and emotionally strong enough to do so.

The thing is no-one actually knows the long term health effects of psychiatric medication. Like I say above if it is synthetic, the body will try to get rid of it as it views it as a toxin so in essence it is a burden on the liver.

Im all for medication. It is a wonderful gift made by mankind. How it is used by modern day society is not however. Be careful because the side effects that it produces may well cause your doctor to prescribe you medication to counteract those and so they cycle goes.

Above all what I am trying to get across is that illness is not an accident. It is your bodies way of expressing itself to you that something is wrong in your lifestyle and you need to do something about it. If you think your DP/DR/Anxiety/Depression etc is bad luck and there is nothing you personally can do about it then unfortunately you will remain stuck for many years to come.

No one says it is easy, in fact it is f*cken difficult at times but the rewards. Oh the rewards. You will never want to go back into the deep, dark forest again.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

one.


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## brandon is not taken (Mar 29, 2007)

Loki said:


> Brandon, atittudes like yours I find really annoying. Tigersuit is just venting whatever frustrations he's experiencing, whats the problem?
> 
> As for you thinking it would be best for him to quit benzos, you should really respect whatever choice he makes regarding meds.
> 
> ...


Why do you find my attitude annoying? Because my opinion is different then yours? Tigersuit can vent all he wants. I like him, i have nothing against him. The thing is, back a month or two ago we were both posting about klonopin withdrawal. We both wanted to get of klonopin. I am now off, and he seems to be going in circles. He can post how he feels and i will post what i think about it. No problem.

I do respect whatever choice he makes about taking benzos. In fact i really dont give a shit whatsoever. But in the past, he has repeatedly expressed a desire to stop taking them. Furthermore, for an 18 year old to consider taking a benzo for the rest of thier life is totally insane. I am just letting him know that.

Your father is a psychiatrist and he supports you taking drugs. Well no shit. I couldnt imagine a psychiatrist not supporting someone taking drugs. That would be like a crack dealer starting a campaign to raise awareness about the dangers of crack(Ok...way to strong of an analagy, but u get my point.)

I am also not trying to spew "puritanical nonsence concerning meds." I am on meds myself (although getting off of them.) However, the problem seems to be some people think meds are the one and only solution to thier problems, which is not the case.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

?


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

Tigersuit:

You need to realize ONE thing while you take benzos: The fact that an anti-anxiety agent is helping you serves as proof-positive that there is nothing "wrong" with you. You suffer from deep rumination and persistent anxiety related to irrational fears. The meds will - and MUST - show you that the answer to DR is IN you. It is not an affliction that stands alone.

Yes. Sounds ridiculous and hackneyed. But it's true. *Really* think about what I just wrote.


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2007)

Do not ?totally? relate your DP/DR to Tigersuits? for a start he has HPPD which will make his type of DP/DR different to ours.

I believe if a lifetime of medication is necessary; so be it. It will give you time to live and life rather then trying to perfect one.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

you.


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

Yes, I know all about HPPD. If you are experiencing symptoms that explicitly mimic hallucination, you're right: You feel a hell of a lot different than many other people in this forum. But the fact that you experienced DP/DR *before* you twisted your mind on hallucinogens led me to believe that, perhaps, you're going through the same thing again...not HPPD.

If it's HPPD, I can't be of any help to you. You're more or less screwed.


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2007)

So you?re either calling him a lair or he?s screwed? *Thumbs up* Well done: ?Positive? reply pal.


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

I am not calling him a liar, by any stretch of the imagination. Misguided? Maybe. Screwed? For now? Yes...if he has - or even believes he has - acute HPPD. Nothing but meds can help him.

Basically, my point is a benevolent one. I am trying to propose the possibility that he is NOT screwed.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

me.


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2007)

You don?t know him although you state him as being ?Misguided?? For you to make these assumptions? I can only ?assume? myself that he isn?t the misguided one.

"Twisted his mind"...


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

My post was intended to be purely helpful. Just another possibility. After all, HPPD involves solely visual disturbances. I suffered from it, and it had no connection to DR/DP. Anxiety did.


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

Sidebar: Ever hear Les Claypool and his Frogs do "Animals"? It's unbelievable.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

ch.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

me.


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## jonnyfiasco (Apr 20, 2007)

I think Jack has some excellent opinions. He also has a fantastic sense of humour. I took "your screwed" as a joke that is true. Communication on the internet ay....We read into things as we think.


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

Absolutely. That's the thing. All of these elements feed on one another. That's my point.

I am abrupt and sometimes harsh, but I don't intend to be. I just type. I wouldn't reply to this post if I thought I couldn't help. I have been *exactly* where you are right now. I am certain of that. And I have, more or less, vanquished all this shit.

The meds: Take the benzos. Nevermind the long-term effects, because I will bet you don't want to stay on them forever, if that's avoidable. Cross that bridge if you come to it. And for Christ's sake...stay away from frying balls on LSD.


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

Honestly, Tigerface...You will LOVE the Frog Brigade doing the album. It's like hearing it anew. It's not an aberration. It has a slightly different flavor, but it's spot-on. Just get it ASAP.

Frogs doing "Dogs" = $$$


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2007)

jonnyfiasco said:


> I took "your screwed" as a joke that is true..


Fair is fair... although the truth hurts for some when the truth is relevant to them.

And it?s all rich me saying this want I?ve been the inconsiderate joker in the pass? I?m glad I can see matters from another point of view now.


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

nt.


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