# Never thought this would happen! Chronic DP/DR lessening



## ev3rything (Aug 23, 2013)

So I have been a member of this site for awhile, popping in every few years to make note of something. But this is really good news I think.

Since I was about 11 I started to not connect with my reflection in the mirror. Intellectually I know it's 'me' but cannot feel an emotional/physical connection to that person. It has been like this, in varying degrees of intensity since. I honestly don't know what caused this.

I am now 32 and always thought I'd be stuck with this DP/DR for the rest of my life. I figured it was caused by a physical illness/abnormality and *nothing* would change it. Seriously, I have tried so much. Confronting feelings, reading self-help books, taking meds etc. listening to people that overcame it. I just gave up and accepted the fact I'd be living in this flat 2d world, like being stuck inside a video game, forever, with no connection to anyone or anything.

Well stuff is changing.

The past few weeks I've had weird moments of reality shifting. There's been a few times where I feel like I am sitting inside my body. I don't know how else to put it. It's like you are sitting inside your 'self'? I love that feeling.

Other times I started panicking but not knowing why. Then I realized it was because the DP/DR was lessening up. I guess the shifting kind of scared me? It was brief, these moments. But I think it means something's changing.

Today as I went into a grocery store something happened? It felt like my Dp/Dr was cut in half (for real) and when the cold air hit me from inside I FELT IT!! Like someone punching me in the stomach. The cold air felt insane, the colors around me popped and my body tuned into the noise around me. I don't know how to explain it but it felt like someone threw me into a pool!! It was so crazy!!! Here you are, feeling numb 24/7 for years and years and then all of a sudden it feels like it's been stripped away in a sense?

I don't know what is going on or what is different but things are apparently shifting. When I noticed the DP/DR lessening a tiny bit it feels like you are almost naked in a sense. Because DP/DR is your wall, your protection, your comfort from the world I think. Like a defense? I always thought mine was caused by something physical but it might be psychological? I have no clue. Maybe my body is starting to simmer down with the hpa-axis. Idk. I'm not a medical person. It's just strange and amazing and I want others out there to know that things can change.

I honestly 100% believed that this would never lessen up. I've had chronic DP/DR for a little over half of my life. It is bizarre, but I think it's starting to go away/change in some ways.

Having it go away like, 50% at least, at the store was insane. I can't imagine how normal people function who don't have DP/DR (it's hard to imagine!). The amount of sensory stimulation is really exhausting and also exciting. I'm very open to the future now.

Never thought this would happen. I hope whoever is going through chronic dp/dr (like 5-10 years plus) reads this. People always say that life will change in time and I always thought they were full of it, but wow, it is happening. Best of luck to everyone out there and if anything else happens I will report back  (Hang in there!)


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## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

Long term sufferer here, and this give me heaps of hope! Thank you and keep it up.


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## Broken (Jan 1, 2017)

Hey man that is fantastic news! Thanks for coming back and sharing! Have you changed anything in your lifestyle the last 6 months? Exercise, yoga, meditation? My theory atm is that DOING things will heal this rather than taking things (meds or supplements). Although I still take CBD which helps me relax lol. Has sleep improved or anything at all before this? Sorry for all the questions lol it's just that people rarely come back with good stuff to report, its mainly just people who are suffering! Keep it going whatever you're doing!

Also a bit of a weid question but any big life events recently? Having a baby, a new relationship, even a death of a loved one or a new pet... anything that could bring about a lot of emotion in your life and perhaps reconnect you with that part of yourself?


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## anniephantom (Jan 17, 2018)

Have you had an endoscopy?

https://www.facebook.com/notes/annie-woods/gluten-psychosis-how-my-diet-almost-killed-me-and-put-me-in-a-psych-ward-twice/1516084691856716/


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## ev3rything (Aug 23, 2013)

Broken said:


> Hey man that is fantastic news! Thanks for coming back and sharing! Have you changed anything in your lifestyle the last 6 months? Exercise, yoga, meditation? My theory atm is that DOING things will heal this rather than taking things (meds or supplements). Although I still take CBD which helps me relax lol. Has sleep improved or anything at all before this? Sorry for all the questions lol it's just that people rarely come back with good stuff to report, its mainly just people who are suffering! Keep it going whatever you're doing!
> 
> Also a bit of a weid question but any big life events recently? Having a baby, a new relationship, even a death of a loved one or a new pet... anything that could bring about a lot of emotion in your life and perhaps reconnect you with that part of yourself?


It's weird but nothing has changed really. I did quit being vegetarian months ago and start eating meat again but I don't think that's it....Sleep, exercise (lack of) is all the same lol. I did have a medicine change to lamotrigine and luvox(?) a few months ago. Maybe that's it...but I'm not sure. Everything is the same except for that basically. I have noticed having small epiphanies though (personal ones). Like where you realize stuff about yourself you weren't aware of. It always seems easier to zone out and 'fight' feelings by not paying attention to them but maybe that's a part of it...? Instead of zoning out, maybe just feeling the unpleasant feeling? But I know that's not it because I've done it before and nothing changed that much. The only life thing that has happened is now I am back in school, but nothing new or major. It's very strange and makes me wonder if it's a physical problem that is resolving itself somehow....



anniephantom said:


> Have you had an endoscopy?
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/notes/annie-woods/gluten-psychosis-how-my-diet-almost-killed-me-and-put-me-in-a-psych-ward-twice/1516084691856716/


Annie, that is an amazing story. I have not had one done yet but suspect I may have food allergies or something very similar with gut issues (especially the constant headache, I didn't know people had that too!!!). The only other time there was a big difference in the DP/DR was when I was taking some heavy duty antibiotic for a short time....which makes me think it's a physical thing!! I'm so glad you found what was causing you the grief and pain!! You have a really inspirational story and I will take it to heart and see what's going on with my body (for real!!)! Thank you!!


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## anniephantom (Jan 17, 2018)

Oh shit, dude, if your DPDR seemed to be triggered by an antibiotic, you should definitely look into an endoscopy! That's a huge red flag; antibiotics wreck me. Keep me updated! Rooting for you!!



ev3rything said:


> It's weird but nothing has changed really. I did quit being vegetarian months ago and start eating meat again but I don't think that's it....Sleep, exercise (lack of) is all the same lol. I did have a medicine change to lamotrigine and luvox(?) a few months ago. Maybe that's it...but I'm not sure. Everything is the same except for that basically. I have noticed having small epiphanies though (personal ones). Like where you realize stuff about yourself you weren't aware of. It always seems easier to zone out and 'fight' feelings by not paying attention to them but maybe that's a part of it...? Instead of zoning out, maybe just feeling the unpleasant feeling? But I know that's not it because I've done it before and nothing changed that much. The only life thing that has happened is now I am back in school, but nothing new or major. It's very strange and makes me wonder if it's a physical problem that is resolving itself somehow....
> 
> Annie, that is an amazing story. I have not had one done yet but suspect I may have food allergies or something very similar with gut issues (especially the constant headache, I didn't know people had that too!!!). The only other time there was a big difference in the DP/DR was when I was taking some heavy duty antibiotic for a short time....which makes me think it's a physical thing!! I'm so glad you found what was causing you the grief and pain!! You have a really inspirational story and I will take it to heart and see what's going on with my body (for real!!)! Thank you!!


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## Sabby (Nov 29, 2019)

Great news, really happy for you.


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## Psyborg (Dec 23, 2018)

awesome thread


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## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

Happy for you!


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## Al_pk (Apr 20, 2019)

A really hopeful and inspiring post


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## zecht (Nov 28, 2019)

How did you do this? Sometimes my symptoms lessen up but when my inexistant social skill pop up when talking to classmates they will rather ignore me cause i dont seem to connect anything to them....i still cant have interesting ideas or things to say, my thoughts are sometimes running amok. I need to do extra effort to even stay in conversation before i disconnect again. These people reject me.They know im not exactly "among them" and would rather avoid me. This rejection brings me back into dpdr, anxiety and such.....

Everytime i turn on the light atnight it looks so dim and stupid. I see a veil put on my eyes between me and this world. I cant comprehend this. Im trying not to give up. I want back my life and these lost years. Whoever is responsible for this, F--- YOU!


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