# My spiritual insanity



## Mushishi (May 31, 2010)

I don't feel human. Sure, that's what DP is though, right? I don't connect with people, and I feel I don't even connect with people with DP. Maybe I have something far more intense. I feel so strongly that this reality is not for me. That I've changed so much I've become so alien in consciousness. I see things so differently. The way I perceive the light and sound. The 5 sense reality. I see they are all from the same source, perceived and bending in different senses. I sense that this universe is not the biggest picture. But rather, a game being played. I see that my awareness sprouts from life. And that life comes from nature, and nature, from consciousness. This game is only accessible through nature. Why does lightning split the way it does? Why is it the human has 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms? I feel a connection through the foundations of consciousness, as it reflects all throughout nature. As the ego takes things at face value, creating archetypal thought processes, we perceive the illusion as truth. Thinking of ourselves as individuals within a reality, rather than the individual as the reality itself. There has been a shift in my consciousness.

But now, I want to go home.


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## Guest (Sep 6, 2010)

Mushishi said:


> I don't feel human. Sure, that's what DP is though, right? I don't connect with people, and I feel I don't even connect with people with DP. Maybe I have something far more intense. I feel so strongly that this reality is not for me. That I've changed so much I've become so alien in consciousness. I see things so differently. The way I perceive the light and sound. The 5 sense reality. I see they are all from the same source, perceived and bending in different senses. I sense that this universe is not the biggest picture. But rather, a game being played. I see that my awareness sprouts from life. And that life comes from nature, and nature, from consciousness. This game is only accessible through nature. Why does lightning split the way it does? Why is it the human has 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms? I feel a connection through the foundations of consciousness, as it reflects all throughout nature. As the ego takes things at face value, creating archetypal thought processes, we perceive the illusion as truth. Thinking of ourselves as individuals within a reality, rather than the individual as the reality itself. There has been a shift in my consciousness.
> 
> But now, I want to go home.


I think that you will come back to the light. You'll see yourself as human again. And you'll look back and wonder how you could have felt so estranged before.


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## Mushishi (May 31, 2010)

I doubt it.


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## outlaw (May 20, 2010)

Mushishi said:


> I don't feel human. Sure, that's what DP is though, right? I don't connect with people, and I feel I don't even connect with people with DP. Maybe I have something far more intense. I feel so strongly that this reality is not for me. That I've changed so much I've become so alien in consciousness. I see things so differently. The way I perceive the light and sound. The 5 sense reality. I see they are all from the same source, perceived and bending in different senses. I sense that this universe is not the biggest picture. But rather, a game being played. I see that my awareness sprouts from life. And that life comes from nature, and nature, from consciousness. This game is only accessible through nature. Why does lightning split the way it does? Why is it the human has 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms? I feel a connection through the foundations of consciousness, as it reflects all throughout nature. As the ego takes things at face value, creating archetypal thought processes, we perceive the illusion as truth. Thinking of ourselves as individuals within a reality, rather than the individual as the reality itself. There has been a shift in my consciousness.
> 
> But now, I want to go home.


I feel home sick for a place that may not even exist


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## Mushishi (May 31, 2010)

I assure you that it exists.


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## jd99034 (Dec 2, 2008)

Maybe your essence isn't human. Maybe you are starseed and you're finally waking up. You sound like a "starseed" I don't know if you've heard of that term but I'd suggest looking into it. Heres an article about it.

If you are wondering "Am I a starseed?'.

This is not a definitive list of characteristics, we are as diverse as our origins, but there are some common traits that many of us can attest to.

1. You feel ancient to the core, as though you have existed forever.

2. You are soul tired, and simply want to go 'home'.

3. You remember what home feels like even if you can't verbalize it.

4. You felt unique as a child, as though no one else was like you, it feltlike there was them (humanity) and you. You may have even felt special orlofty regardless of your social stature.

5. From as far back as your earliest memory, your life has been litteredwith paranormal and psychic experiences. This may have manifested as:seeing ghosts, or other entities, seeing inter-dimensionally or into othertimes, seeing beyond the illusion, reading others thoughts, dreams thatcame true, UFO sightings, alien encounters and much, much more.

6. Your empathetic gifts are so strong it can almost be too much at times.

7. Your body functions differently to others. It is more finely tuned andhas a habit of reacting unlike other people's. Doctors are often stumped byyou and a natural lifestyle is imperative to your good health.

8. You are very intelligent, but not necessarily interested in academics.

9. You struggle to find what you want to do with your life because nothingin this reality really intrigues you enough to be dedicated to it. A partof you remembers so much more that life here is almost banal.

10. You have trouble being in touch with your body, or its limitationsfrustrate you, because you remember far more freedom. Part of you feels youshould be able to fly, teleport or instantaneously manifest.

11. You have known since you were very tiny that you had a purpose or amission to fulfil, even though the details may be elusive.

12. You have an extraordinary dream life, and waking life seems dull incomparison.

13. Others are often wary of you, and you were most likely singled out as achild and bullied or ignored. Friends were and are often few and farbetween. People instinctually know you are different even if they don'tunderstand why. You may have even felt alienated within your own family, orhad issues with one or both of your parents.

14. You can read people, they don't even necessarily have to speak, you canjust feel who they are, which is why you cannot be lied to. You see beyondthe facade, and that makes people uncomfortable around you.

15. Babies and small children are often drawn to you, something about youfascinates them.

16. Animals tend to trust you, and you have a natural understanding oftheir wants and needs, as though you can communicate on some level.

17. Conversation frustrates you because you know what the other person isgoing to say long before they say it. Often you appear rude inconversation, either appearing disinterested or butting in and answeringthe question before it is completed.

18. Some may describe you as aloof, but when they get to know you, you areactually incredibly warm and loving.

19. You have created certain protective elements to survive in societybecause you find being around people quite hard, even painful at times, andyou can only handle large crowds of people in very brief doses.

20. You are aware that you are an inter-dimensional ascended being here toassist humanity at this time, and you may have some memories of yourincarnations on this earth, leading up to this time. This knowledge iswithin you.

21. You have natural healing abilities, whether it be with your hands orthrough the comfort you give with your words.

22. You often find random strangers tell you their problems and friendsseek you out for counsel, even from when you were very young.

23. You were advanced as a young child, speaking, reading, walking earlierthan normal.

24. Some may have described you as a precocious child, you weren't afraidto speak your mind.

25. You have had trouble sleeping most of your life, whether it was due toinsomnia or to fears that reared their head at night. Visions you see atnight don't help the sleeplessness.

26. You have felt great despair or depression in your life, often connectedto a desire to want to go home. Life here feels so very wrong.

27. You have difficulty comprehending why you would want to spend your lifeworking at something you hate, so that you can spend all your money payingoff your debts so that you can be like everyone else with the cool car andthe mortgage. None of this makes any sense to you. You'd rather be poorthan a slave to the system. People may view you as a drop out or lazy, butthat has nothing to do with it.

28. You often feel connected to another place or time, and long forsomething deeper in your life.

29. You have an understanding of the divine beyond books, beyond religion,even if you can't put it into words. Spirituality is part of you, it isinseparable and not learned but definitely built upon. You didn't wake upto your spiritual self, because your spirituality has always been anintrinsic part of your nature.

30. You know that your origins are not human.

(Origin: Anna Galdorcraeft)


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