# Is it worth it ?



## Nihil Dexter (Sep 9, 2010)

So after almost 1 year of horrible suffering I decided to do something I've never done before. Caring about other people. I know a person who is a doctor that actually knows about my DP and I managed to get a job where he works. It's been nearly a month now that I'm working there. It is very hard ,but no one notices that there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I'm about passing out but I keep going, I want to recover so badly. But when I'm at home, I feel so fatigued, lost and dead. The emptiness is even painful, i feel like I'm melting inside and the heat is driving me crazy. Anyways, I realised that there are people that suffer even more. no joke. But every night I feel like giving up. Will this nightmare come to an end ? Ever ?


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Nihil Dexter said:


> So after almost 1 year of horrible suffering I decided to do something I've never done before. Caring about other people. I know a person who is a doctor that actually knows about my DP and I managed to get a job where he works. It's been nearly a month now that I'm working there. It is very hard ,but no one notices that there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I'm about passing out but I keep going, I want to recover so badly. But when I'm at home, I feel so fatigued, lost and dead. The emptiness is even painful, i feel like I'm melting inside and the heat is driving me crazy. Anyways, I realised that there are people that suffer even more. no joke. But every night I feel like giving up. Will this nightmare come to an end ? Ever ?


One thing that has helped with me for the whole "feeling dead" thing has been to note down every time I feel something. For example, you say that feeling dead is painful. Well, that's a feeling. In fact, I have noticed that I am feeling all the time in subtle ways that I had been taking for granted. For me, this has begun the slow process of disproving the belief that I am dead and there is no hope for me feeling again. The fact is, it's not true! You are feeling, just differently that's all.


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## Strangerdanger (Oct 3, 2010)

I think it's really cool that you are doing that, I feel so self absorbed all the time that it disgusts me! I really want to care about people but it's so hard when I don't care about anything! I think we just have to escape from ourselves and caring about other people is a great step.


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## Deleted Account (Jul 26, 2010)

Its true that others have it better/worse than us


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Nihil Dexter said:


> So after almost 1 year of horrible suffering I decided to do something I've never done before. Caring about other people. I know a person who is a doctor that actually knows about my DP and I managed to get a job where he works. It's been nearly a month now that I'm working there. It is very hard ,but no one notices that there is something wrong with me. Sometimes I'm about passing out but I keep going, I want to recover so badly. But when I'm at home, I feel so fatigued, lost and dead. The emptiness is even painful, i feel like I'm melting inside and the heat is driving me crazy. Anyways, I realised that there are people that suffer even more. no joke. But every night I feel like giving up. Will this nightmare come to an end ? Ever ?


Oh, I understand you so much. you can read my last post too. I feel the same way. "But when I'm at home, I feel so fatigued, lost and dead. The emptiness is even painful, i feel like I'm melting inside and the heat is driving me crazy"- that's exactly how I feel. I don't know how long I can keep up this way.

I really like you. I feel you are a very good person. You should be proud of yourself that you are working and trying so badly. I know how hard it is. You are not alone, my dear friend.


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## Nihil Dexter (Sep 9, 2010)

Thank you Everdream, you are such a cute person! I feel better now, thank you







We don't deserve to suffer this way. But you're right, we should be proud of ourselfes. We keep living in this horrible state. I wish you all the best ! Oh and btw, what's your oppinion about Dexter Season 5 ? Especially the End.

take care


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Nihil Dexter said:


> Thank you Everdream, you are such a cute person! I feel better now, thank you
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I wish I could meet in real person some of the cool people of this forum, including you. That could be great. I wouldn't even mind dating someone from here if like I wasn't living in Israel, lol (though it can be complicated too).

Season 5 was quite weak compared to other seasons. But I always love watching Dexter you know.







The end was nice (and Harrison is sooooo cute!), not bad at all, but again, you can't compare it to all insane ends of other seasons, like season 4!


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