# Your opinions.. Does DR/DP ever really 'go'?



## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

I have now suffered from DR & DP for nearly 12 years. I have 'recovered' several times over the years and subsequently triggered the condition again and again..
When I say 'recovered' I do not mean all sensations of altered reality have disappeared, but instead that I have become used to the altered state of reality and it no longer agitates me psychologically or consumes my life. However, if I 'look' for the altered visual state it is apparent that it still exists to the same visual degree as it did when it was consuming me. My opinion is, in my case, that the altered sense of reality NEVER goes, I simply become familiar with it and it is no longer an issue.
My DR is the worse it has ever been right now, but I do remember times when I have 'recovered' and a family member would ask me 'how is your head?', and I would say 'Yea all good, fine!' and then look about and think to myself 'yikes.. it is all there and still pretty bad!'.

What are your opinions on this?

Dave


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## glitteranddoom (Nov 15, 2011)

ya. im beginning to think thats what everyone whos `recovered` means by recovery, unfortunatly.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

davewilly said:


> I have now suffered from DR & DP for nearly 12 years. I have 'recovered' several times over the years and subsequently triggered the condition again and again..
> When I say 'recovered' I do not mean all sensations of altered reality have disappeared, but instead that I have become used to the altered state of reality and it no longer agitates me psychologically or consumes my life. However, if I 'look' for the altered visual state it is apparent that it still exists to the same visual degree as it did when it was consuming me. My opinion is, in my case, that the altered sense of reality NEVER goes, I simply become familiar with it and it is no longer an issue.
> My DR is the worse it has ever been right now, but I do remember times when I have 'recovered' and a family member would ask me 'how is your head?', and I would say 'Yea all good, fine!' and then look about and think to myself 'yikes.. it is all there and still pretty bad!'.
> 
> ...


Are you seing a psychiatrist?? Are you taking medication?

What usually triggers or worsens your Depersonalization? What relieves it?


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

miguelmalato said:


> Are you seing a psychiatrist?? Are you taking medication?
> 
> What usually triggers or worsens your Depersonalization? What relieves it?


Hi, I've seen several psychiatrists over the years, and have been on and off citalopram and propranolol for years. Currently back on both as of three weeks ago. DR first triggered by LSD in 99, since then have made it much worse by occasional heavily drunk nights seemingly triggering it at random. I have now stopped drinking since I've made it so bad this last time I don't know if it'll ever not consume me!


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

glitteranddoom said:


> ya. im beginning to think thats what everyone whos `recovered` means by recovery, unfortunatly.


I hope its not the case mate, but seems so for me.


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## Boogres (Oct 9, 2011)

People have DEFINITELY recovered.


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

I am not disputing people have recovered but believe the altered visual state doesn't go, you simply become familiar with it and this what we term recovery.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

davewilly said:


> I am not disputing people have recovered but believe the altered visual state doesn't go, you simply become familiar with it and this what we term recovery.


Although I do believe that every case is different...

I recovered..100%...no DP...no DR...no dissociation WHATSOFREAKINGEVER this past April for 3 whole weeks. I was at the psychiatric hospital and on my 4th day there, my symptoms spontaneously and sporadically vanished as I was in the bathroom washing my hands. DP *DOES* and *CAN* go away for most people. I *DO* believe that. I know it becomes a whole different story when it lasts 10+ years though.


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## toshibatelly (Sep 13, 2011)

davewilly said:


> I am not disputing people have recovered but believe the altered visual state doesn't go, you simply become familiar with it and this what we term recovery.


Well, you can believe what you like, but my DP, and all that came with it, went away for 5 years. I barely remembered having DP, it was as though that chapter of my life had never happened.


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

Sorry I meant for my case only, not applying it for everyone. It would seem there are agreeing opinions both side of the argument. For me, DR will probably never go, but in a sense it will as I become familiar with it again and notice it less and less. I just not sure I will ever not notice it this time, the intensity of detachment is overwhelming.


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## borderline2 (Feb 19, 2012)

davewilly said:


> I have now suffered from DR & DP for nearly 12 years. I have 'recovered' several times over the years and subsequently triggered the condition again and again..
> When I say 'recovered' I do not mean all sensations of altered reality have disappeared, but instead that I have become used to the altered state of reality and it no longer agitates me psychologically or consumes my life. However, if I 'look' for the altered visual state it is apparent that it still exists to the same visual degree as it did when it was consuming me. My opinion is, in my case, that the altered sense of reality NEVER goes, I simply become familiar with it and it is no longer an issue.
> My DR is the worse it has ever been right now, but I do remember times when I have 'recovered' and a family member would ask me 'how is your head?', and I would say 'Yea all good, fine!' and then look about and think to myself 'yikes.. it is all there and still pretty bad!'.
> 
> ...


Hi Dave, I also got screwed with a bad LSD trip, but im beggining to think that this isnt DP exactly, more like Post Traumatic Stress or something like that. Did you got diagnosed with DP?

LSD is such a strange drug. I tried everything but LSD is what I couldnt handle. Please share exactly what you feel...


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

Hi mate, I recovered from the LSD induced DR but triggered it much worse through drinking heavy. I do think it us DR that LSD triggered but I also had some of the tripped visuals like patterns on carpets walls etc for some years after taking it, still do if really tired now 12 years on! Yes told by psychiatrists it was DR. I got all over the drug induced DR, got used to it, didn't notice it anymore. Now I triggered it chronic from one night drinking! Aaaaah


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

Huggy Bear said:


> Nope, DR also disappears when you get out of it. And it can disappear within a second...


I hope so mate, because I'm scared to shit at the moment. My old medication dose that used to work is barely helping either..


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## Boogres (Oct 9, 2011)

toshibatelly said:


> Well, you can believe what you like, but my DP, and all that came with it, went away for 5 years. I barely remembered having DP, it was as though that chapter of my life had never happened.


Howd it come back? That's what scares me, that ill get better and then that itll come back much worse as seems to be the case for many HPPDers such as myself. But yeah, i suffered from DP before (even though i didnt know it) and it was 6 months in a stupefied horrible fatigue that i barely remember, it's almost as if that wasnt me, and it hadnt really happened.


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

Looking back at my original post here, it was before I was aware that the cause of my DR is from HPPD (hallucinogen persistent perception disorder). I do now believe that anyone can be cured from DR if the underlying cause can be cured. Unfortunately there is no cure for HPPD, so I will just have to accept it.


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## drew-uk (May 22, 2009)

I'm starting to think that this is true, when I recovered last time it was a long gradual process and I never at any point had a big OMG I'm DP/DR free moment. Then when it kicked off again recently the severity of the dissociation was sickening compared to last time. It logically makes sence that if I had truly recovered last time I would have then returned to the same state of dissociation this time round.

Now don't get me wrong the last three years of my life were amazing and I did so much more that I had done before my last DP/DR episode and if you asked me about DP I'd probably say what? Oh yeah that and sit and really tried hard to think about it and it would still be there somewhere

Do we have a type of degenerative chronic derealization disorder? That shit scares me...


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> Is it ever really "there"?


Fearless this is just silly


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I could say the same about u...when u continuously reply to my posts...perhaps u shud get ur dick out of my vagina?
I never called u a narcissist I just don't agree with what u say at times


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> If you don't want to read people's opinions, don't open public threads.


So now u are just contradicting urself..."why the hell you can't just ignore my posts?"


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

davewilly said:


> Hi, I've seen several psychiatrists over the years, and have been on and off citalopram and propranolol for years. Currently back on both as of three weeks ago. DR first triggered by LSD in 99, since then have made it much worse by occasional heavily drunk nights seemingly triggering it at random. I have now stopped drinking since I've made it so bad this last time I don't know if it'll ever not consume me!


Was it your first time taking lsd?

A wise friend of mine, who has tripped over a dozen times, once said to me; "there is no definitive 'snap' back to reality with lsd, there is no 'Oh sweet I'm sober now, trips over' you wake up still questioning if your high or not, but that passes as you get on with your life. You always come back, but some people get stuck in the reality questioning phase'. That to me sounds A LOT like how dp could and does start.

If you are a slightly anxious drug user ie; worry about doing damage, long term effects, it would be easy to get stuck in this illusionary state, when really there's nothing wrong.


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

yosemitedome said:


> Was it your first time taking lsd?
> 
> A wise friend of mine, who has tripped over a dozen times, once said to me; "there is no definitive 'snap' back to reality with lsd, there is no 'Oh sweet I'm sober now, trips over' you wake up still questioning if your high or not, but that passes as you get on with your life. You always come back, but some people get stuck in the reality questioning phase'. That to me sounds A LOT like how dp could and does start.
> 
> If you are a slightly anxious drug user ie; worry about doing damage, long term effects, it would be easy to get stuck in this illusionary state, when really there's nothing wrong.


Yes it was first time taking LSD. Took it a few more times after. Even when I was already suffering from HPPD/Derealization, absolutely crazy looking back. Young and stupid.

I agree with your friend's thoughts. I was the perfect example of a character that should never have experimented with psychedelics.. a deep thinker, emotionally sensitive, self conscious, worrier..


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## charles99 (Nov 3, 2013)

Yes. It goes.


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## LiveLife30 (Aug 2, 2011)

I consider myself to have recovered but I wouldn't consider myself DR free. It's really interesting. I think you just learn how to live with it and get accustomed to the visual perceptions. To clarify, DR is a non-factor at this point in my life. I had it severely for 2 years and gradually began to forget about it and gradually it began to fade. Although if I take the time to think about DR and analyze/focus on it i'm sure I will find it. This is simply counterproductive to recovery and therefore every time I begin to think about my past experience/symptoms of DP I instantly begin to occupy myself with something else. It is no longer an issue in my life anymore and consequently I don;t give it the time of day anymore. This is why I consider myself to be recovered.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

davewilly said:


> Yes it was first time taking LSD. Took it a few more times after. Even when I was already suffering from HPPD/Derealization, absolutely crazy looking back. Young and stupid.
> 
> I agree with your friend's thoughts. I was the perfect example of a character that should never have experimented with psychedelics.. a deep thinker, emotionally sensitive, self conscious, worrier..


Why do you think you have HPPD?


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## davewilly (Feb 1, 2012)

yosemitedome said:


> Why do you think you have HPPD?


I see patterns on surfaces, halos on objects, purple/green noise which seems to pulse in the darkness, the feeling like I'm still tripping just a little bit. Extreme sensitivity to light, insane amounts of visual noise and 'floaters' (yes I know we all have floaters). Visual trails and after images.


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