# I'm back.



## Robs (Sep 17, 2011)

I used to come on here a lot in the beginning. Made some friends etc.

I haven't been on here for a couple of years now. I've suffered from this shit for about 4 and a half years.

Just back on here, to bring myself back to...myself if that makes sense. I've been running on auto pilot a couple of years, tried everything, distraction etc, but it hasn't worked as I just feel like I'm pretending all the time. There's always that feeling inside you where you know there is an ongoing war going on inside your body.

My insides feel constantly tense, so much show I can't connect to feelings or emotions and therefore not feeling in my own body. Running on "ego" as I like to put it. I can cry. Just can't FEEL the emotion. My mind is a different story, doesn't feel present. Although I know logically I'm in a familiar environment, I feel like I'm in another realm. Nothing seems familiar, it's scary.

I feel like there's this little kid inside me, that I need to connect to...to connect as a whole person, all very weird. I just want to be "in my body again" not living outside of it. So I'm back on here as I'd rather feel like shit with this than the "pretense" feeling.

Peace to you all

Robyn


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Robs said:


> Peace to you all
> 
> Robyn


Peace back at cha. How did you get DP?


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## Robs (Sep 17, 2011)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Peace back at cha. How did you get DP?


I'm not sure, it just happened. I moved back and forth from 2 countries my whole life, almost like I was 2 people. Maybe my body couldn't cope anymore

I tried ecstasy too, but I didn't get the DP straight after that, I was "normal" for months after that.

So I have no idea







I just want to FEEL again. I want my body to not be so tense inside ALL the time...I want to connect to my emotions, at the moment I can feel my muscles strained around my heart and chest area/solar plexus. I'm worried all my muscles and nerves are damaged.

It really really helps having a vent about how sucky it is with people that actually understand. Thanks a lot, I needed this x


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Hey Robs. I get the tightness too. It's blocked energy. Do you still feel that you are 2 people at all, or have the 2 people dissolved and there is no person left?


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## Robs (Sep 17, 2011)

Both I think? I'm starting to wonder who I am...at all. Also people are saying you can't be cured if it is LSD related, so I'm screwed if that's the case!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

YOu got DP after taking LSD?


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## Robs (Sep 17, 2011)

Well I took LSD, and I was fine for months after, so just wondering if it had a prolonged side effect/cause!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

My guess would be that is wasn't the LSD but what the LSD showed you about yourself and how it changed your perception of the world and what you thought you knew to be true. Having said that, and if that's true, then it doesn't mean that recovering from DP induced from LSD is not possible. It means your sense of self is skewed and views of reality are jumbled. Reality itself is in question. What you thought to be true about the world and who you were simply isn't. I don't know what the answer is but I wouldn't say it's impossible to attain a healthy state of mind.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

Long time no see Robs. I saw you briefly used Twitter again, then it seemed like your Twitter account got hacked? I hope everything works out.


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## jd99034 (Dec 2, 2008)

You should read the work of Stan Grof- He is a doc who did a lot of pioneering work with LSD and mental patients, cured many- He was one of the few people who rx'd LSD to schizophrenic patients and had great results. Seriously look into to, and don't be worried that just cause you became Dp'd after eating LSD, that you can't be 'normal' again.


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