# My recovery story! 4 months later.



## Confusedandtired (Aug 11, 2015)

Hey everyone, I'd like to post my recovery story as I believe I have come out of the DP/DR cycle.

Mine had multiple causes and each one took a different approach; just know that more likely than not you can recover also!

So my DP/DR was first induced while high on marijuana. I started noticing weird symptoms: brain zaps, flashing lights, tunnel vision. Soon after that I flipped out and went into a full blown panic attack: racing heart rate, feelings of doom, thinking I was loosing it, feelings of unreality and depersonalization. This was the worst panic attack of my life; at times I was shaking almost uncontrollably and remember trying to make some food to calm myself down and I could barely hold on to a utensil.

The next day I felt odd; things looked surreal. The derealization was the most prominent, but I also had a good deal of depersonalization as well. I suffer from OCD so descended into an obsession of all the worst case scenarios: going crazy, loosing my mind, I broke my conscious with weed, what if I get schizo...etc. Sounds familiar right? From that day I quit smoking marijuana, the first step to recovery.

In addition during this time I was fighting depression induced from a concussion after getting hit by a car on the road, this also caused PTSD. Needless to say I was really going through hell.

For the next month I fed this cycle with increasing anxiety and rumination. Spending hours and hours online trying to pinpoint every symptom. I would literally check every environmental sound and try to verify it as a hallucination or not (thanks OCD....). Next my longtime girlfriend broke up with me seemingly out of the blue; this also hit me hard and my depression worsened.

At this point I was really at my lowest, and I started experiencing daily head sensations/headaches: sharp pains and pressure sensations mostly on my right side, daily head zaps, tingly feelings...etc

From here I was determined to recover, so I began a routine of acceptance and healthy practices. I accepted every and all symptom that I could. Tried to socialize as much as I could, ate healthy (lots of fish and veggies), and increased my exercise. Living with DP/DR isn't easy, but it can be done. The more I began to accept my symptoms the easier it became. For the next couple of months I did this and probably improved about 70-80%.

The rest is probably unique to me. I had been to a couple of doctors who wrote off my head symptoms as anxiety related. Finally I went to a neurologist who diagnosed me with occipital neuralgia (which is like a chronic low grade migraine) + actual migraines. It was caused by irritation and inflammation to my occipital nerve sustained during my head injury. I was put on an old tricyclic antidepressant (nortriptyline) which ironically is used to treat nerve pain and migraines, as well as depression.

While I hate most of the side effects of this which include dry mouth, drowsiness, and minor sexual problems it has pulled me out to the other side. I don't have to be on it forever so I'm just waiting out the side effects.

I encourage anybody reading this to rule out any other potential causes of DP/DR, like my head issues, and than to focus on acceptance and living a healthy lifestyle. Today I feel DP/DR free but am still from time to time dealing with depression (this ones because of my ex, I had plans to marry her and still love her but life isn't fair so I have to cope with that).

With the right mindset I bet mostly everyone can recover from this crap!

In summary here are my contributing causes:

Occipital neuralgia + migraine

OCD

PTSD

Anxiety

Depression

And here is what helped me the most:

Acceptance

Healthy diet

Socializing (even when it feels foreign like not even recognizing your own voice)

Not researching, spending as little time as possible on these forums...etc

Medication for any physical cause (my head issues)

No drugs!! Easy one there. I occasionally had alcohol but found it to be of little effect, so this one is up to you

I know DP/DR sucks. Just try and make the best of it because we only have so much time here and still deserve to live life to it's fullest just like anyone else.


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## Confusedandtired (Aug 11, 2015)

Also I forgot to mention that my panic attack wasn't necessarily caused by weed. It just so happened that while I was high I experienced an aura to a migraine (flashing lights in my field of view, tunnel vision...etc). This lead to panic.


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