# On my mind...



## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

I hope not to offend anyone. I am just so scared of developing schizophrenia. I am a 34 year old female who has suffered from anxiety since I was 11, derealization from when I was 21, and panic attacks and depersonalization since I was 32.

I feel so out of it, and am really afraid of developing schizophrenia. I have several reasons to believe I could be developing schizophrenia. I have fleeting moments where I fear someone close to me may do me harm or hurt me. I also have fleeting moments where because of the DP, I wonder if everyone is in on a big joke, and I haven't hurt the punchline.

I also feel like when I speak, it isn't my voice (but I think this could be DP related). I also sometimes feel people look weird to me for a brief second.

I have moments also where things that I once knew don't look as familiar as I would like them to (this is very anxiety producing). I have read that someone with schizophrenia can have panic attacks.

I went to see a Psychiatrist who didn't think I had schizophrenia, but I didn't tell him about the paranoia, and he only saw me for 20-30 minutes.

Could my symptoms be related to the anxiety and the DP I have been experiencing? I am freaking myself out because I checked out this book from the library about schizophrenia and I feel like it wouldn't be so far-fetched if I developed it. Should I get a second opinion, or let it rest?


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## jessykah714 (Apr 6, 2010)

i think your just making yourself more anxious and scared than you should be! im the same way., i used to go on a bunch of different websites and read all about schizophrenia and get myself freaked out! i would read all the symptoms of schizo people and i would actually give myself ideas and it would actually make me think of the stuff i read. schizophrenia is by far my BIGGEST FEAR EVER!!! but i dont think you can develop it by just being afraid of it or constantly thinking about it. i honestly think you should just ST0P reading about schizophrenia!!!! all its gonna do is make u feel worse and more afraid. just try to focus on something else even though its hard. i think your just having alot of obsessional thoughts. if you start hearing voices or seeing things then u should be worried, but right now u should just relax and not stress yourself about those thoughts.


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

jessykah714 said:


> i think your just making yourself more anxious and scared than you should be! im the same way., i used to go on a bunch of different websites and read all about schizophrenia and get myself freaked out! i would read all the symptoms of schizo people and i would actually give myself ideas and it would actually make me think of the stuff i read. schizophrenia is by far my BIGGEST FEAR EVER!!! but i dont think you can develop it by just being afraid of it or constantly thinking about it. i honestly think you should just ST0P reading about schizophrenia!!!! all its gonna do is make u feel worse and more afraid. just try to focus on something else even though its hard. i think your just having alot of obsessional thoughts. if you start hearing voices or seeing things then u should be worried, but right now u should just relax and not stress yourself about those thoughts.


Thank you Jessykah714! I really appreciate it. For sure when I read about it, it makes it worse. I made a mistake yesterday when I checked out this book from the library on Schizophrenia. It interviewed people who have it, and how they felt when they had their first psychotic break. I am so sick of the DP, and feeling unreal and I worry it must be something worse when I can't seem to snap out of it. I want to feel real!! Thank you for calming my fears! I am very good at giving myself ideas.


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