# You CAN and WILL get better



## Walkingzombie

Just wanted to start a topic with everything I've discovered since I said Fuck DP and started living my life. Don't have much time to post anything now. Took a small break from dinner.

Expect the TRUE holy grail from a survivor of DP.

Ill post more tonight, but ill leave you with this:

Stop giving ANY of your fucks to feed the fire that is DP.

Like I stated previously, the key to curing DP is simply letting go and not giving a fuck about it. Easier said than done, so I'll give you some anologies I've created from my NO LONGER BLANK MIND FTW!

Ok.
So, how does one simply not give a fuck you ask? It's a process. The one thing that I can't stress enough is process over outcome. A good process will almost ALWAYS ensure a good outcome. I've yet to have a negative outcome when I create a positive process for myself. You CAN and WILL beat DP. Someday, there will not be a need for DPSelfhelp hopefully. As the site breeds negativity out the asshole.

What do people do when they first find it? Of course they're relived because they found a place where they can relate. People who are like them. People with the same "disorder" (I'll explain my theory on it later) It's comforting and the people are welcoming. Most are like you. So the next step? Search all over the forum for similar experiences, similar symptoms, similar stories, etc&#8230; You get the deal cause YOU did it. Just like everyone else. It's kinda counterintuitive though because you think that finding people with relatable symptoms will make you feel better about your situation, but it really only make you feel worse because you see that 10+ other people have exactly what you have&#8230; then you see how long they've been on the forum.. number posts they've made&#8230; and get even more discouraged. There's too much shit on the forum about how you'll never recover and that you'll have DP for life. Let me tell you something, it's all bullshit. All of it, but I bought into it like the rest of you. It's why you're still here. People keep asking the same questions and getting no answer whatsoever. SO we turn to the "professionals" in their oh so snazzy white coats. Take this. Up it cause it isn't working. Still not working, couple it with this. Nothing? Here try a different type of med. Now you're on three different types of meds NONE of which are prescribed for DP SOOOOOO they don't work. But it gets "better" from here. Since these didn't work, well hell we'll give you something new. Try this, BUT first let's wean you off this shit for fucking 4 weeks so that we can start you on some new meds that I'll receive kickbacks on but not for another month. Then I'll up them, couple it with something else, and wash, rinse, repeat. SO what do we do if the psychiatric community isn't helping? We try some natural suppliments.

NOW, I never tried any real vitamins or fish oil, omega, or any of that other shit. What does that mean? You can recover without it because I know some really cool, sexy, and overall lovely guy you did. If you meet this walkingzombie, let me know because he seems like a cool guy. I'm not saying that you may find temporary relief of improved concentration, but the most important thing lingers on like a foul odor that won't go away despite spraying a whole can of axe in the room. All that does is make the odor worse, plus you wasted $5 worth of shitty body spray. If you find some relief from suppliments, by all means take them, but they won't cure you either. I didn't take them and I don't know of anyone on this forum who was completely cured by taking them. I know TommyGuns took them and it helped him, but you better believe that wasn't the only thing he did.

So back to not giving a fuck. You can't just completely go from point a to point b without a car with a working engine. I like to look at it this way. Picture your "fucks" as a kind of money. It has monetary value which means you can either spend or save. Balance both. Start depositing your fucks into a little piggy bank, a rainy day fund if you will. Save your fucks up. Deposit when you have extra fucks to give an withdraw when you find yourself needing a couple fucks for a stressful situation. It'll really come in handy and you're not bottling them up, just placing them elsewhere. If you get really good you'll start to subconsciously deposit these fucks. IF you get REALLY REALLY good you'll stop give a fuck completely and you can smash the piggy bank of fucks open and roll around in the fucks you used to give. I'm telling you, there is a major difference between a problem and an inconvenience. DP is a problem. I'm not going to sit here and try to deny the fact that it isn't, but you can always solve a problem. That what makes us human, our ability to come up with multiple solutions to any problem that life throws our way. The less fucks you give, the more you'll realize DP is really only an inconvenience, a big one for sure, but simply a temporary inconvenience if you let it be. If you can come up with 10 reasons why you think you can't do something, come up with 25 of why you can. Trust me, it's possible. Don't start making excuses immediately after reading this. If you do, you won't get better. FACT.
Let's touch on the whole symptom thing, I'll try and cover it as whole first and then break down individual symptoms secondly. SOOO you're symptoms exist because you're constantly thinking about them. Even when I had a blank mind, it was really only negative thinking solely about the fact that I had a blank mind. It was the only thing on my mind and the most stressful symptom because it was ALL I thought about day to day. Nothing else, I couldn't create a thought because I believed the notion of this blank mind. To make matters worse, when I search my symptoms I found people like David (You'll get through it) who had the blank mind for over 9 years. Talk about a total fucking buzzkill. Surf also said he had it for at least 5 years too. Not too encouraging either. 
The fact is the more that you let your symptoms occupy your mind, the more intense they become. Think of it this way:

Imagine having a child, and this is your first newborn, so you want to do everything you can to protect this child. You lay it down to sleep and five minutes later it's wailing hysterically. Well being the new and good parent that you are, you'll go immediately to its aid. Try and calm it down, give It a pacifier, or maybe it's favorite rubby. It calms down momentarily because you gave it the attention it wanted. A fucking 2 week old baby controls a 25 year old parent, but baby's are smart as SHIT. SO, what they baby do after it's got that attention once? It knows that they are in control and that little babe will do it's best to get that attention. And will repeat the process 15 times every night because it is DYING for attention. It will continue to do it until you realize that to be a good parent you have to let the child figure things out for itself. It's not being a bad parent, you constantly gave it attention but it got you nowhere so when you just let the chips fall where they may, you'll find that you can win the table. Just cause you got dealt 2,7 off-suit doesn't mean you can't hit black jack.

I have another analogy for it, but I think the previous one was sufficient

So basically, the more you focus and think about your symptoms the more intense they become. They KEY to fixing DP rests in your mind, specifically mind diversion. And not just temporary, but permanent mind diversion where DP never even crosses your mind. I know that DP makes people hate the things that they used to love, it's fucking sad. I wouldn't listen to music, wouldn't play my guitar at all. I bought BEATs headphones because I thought it'd make me happier; you have to CREATE you own happiness and you'll never find true happiness from material possessions. I would pick up my guitar, and play for maybe 2 minutes. Strum some chords and cry. Cry so fucking hard because the one thing I used to cling to had no value to me. Nothing. Family meant nothing. Friends were fairwearher except for a few. Food lost it's taste. I had complete anehedonia, not to mention a completely blank mind and a personality of a wallflower to accompany it. This isn't a competition and shouldn't be something to brag about, but I don't think anyone on the forum had even a remotely bad case of DP as me. Guess what? I started doing the things that scared me. The things that made me have negative emotions or negative thoughts. It was painful. Extremely painful but thoughts and emotions won't kill you. The best part about both of these things? They're both temporary. If someone claims to be happy every day of they're life, are they really or are they hiding something? Is that really happiness or emotional stability? What I'm saying is that if you used to play guitar, piano, sing, or whatever instrument, DO IT. FORCE YOURSELF TO DO THE THING YOU USED TO LOVE. If you used to love it with all your heart and only the past six months you lost interest, once you get back into it you will LOVE it even more because you'll realize that you were missing an essential piece of that puzzle that created your life. If you have social anxiety, expose yourself to new situations but bring a good friend. Someone who you find being comfortable around that allows your personality to naturally flow. Sadly, none of my friends where there for me and my family offered little support in that area of my life so I had to do it on my own. I failed at talking. Everyday. For at least 16 months. Now? I can have a heartfelt and true, sincere conversation with a complete stranger instantly. If you need any social tips on getting out there, PM me. Also, I can attract any women I want because of these skills. PLLLAAYYYUUHHHH!!! But once again, to wrap up this section, do the things you used to do.

I'm sure there are other things I could post, but I'd rather wait for questions and answer them as they come in. You WILL get better if you follow these rules. I have no doubt. I had to get what was in my mind into yours. Once again, you WILL get better. Follow these rules religiously. They require no medication, no talk therapy, no ECT, no bullshit programs, just you and you're lil ol mind. You can beat this. Believe you can do it and you will. As cliché as it sounds, but it's too damn true, you can achieve anything you set your mind to, within boundaries of course. But DP is something you can beat once you learn to control your mind. I love all of you guys and I want to see each and everyone of you get better from the bottom of my heart.
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I'm here for each and everyone of you. Love you guys. Stay strong, keep fighting, and you WILL beat this. You have every right to a beautiful life.


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## ihatethis

more please


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## Jayden

Glad your better, post more tonight please


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## Guest

good stuff man


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## insaticiable

Thanks for this. It made me happy to see you so happy.


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## Walkingzombie

I find it rather humorous that so many stupid people keep asking the same dumb ass question on this negative forum and disregard all the free info given from someone who's completely recovered. But hey, even the wise man dwells in the fools' paradise, right?

Late


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## actor_bs

I like that you use that F word so frequently, because that is the key. just -don't give fuck. there's no conversation and arguing with bully,. you just have to be ANGRY and FIGHT for yourself at all costs. no explanations, no diplomacy, no philosophy, no meds, no bullshit. just big balls








great post man!!

p.s. maybe it's silly but this tune really motivates me when going thru this









My link


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## Walkingzombie

actor_bs said:


> I like that you use that F word so frequently, because that is the key. just -don't give fuck. there's no conversation and arguing with bully,. you just have to be ANGRY and FIGHT for yourself at all costs. no explanations, no diplomacy, no philosophy, no meds, no bullshit. just big balls
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> great post man!!
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> p.s. maybe it's silly but this tune really motivates me when going thru this
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> My link


I appreciate your honestly! And although the song won't load on my mobile device, I'll be sure to give it a listen. I'm as honest as they come. It scares people sometimes because they can't handle the truth. YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUUUUTH! Although I know you can, its not a disorder just a fucked up state of mind that people let themselves be controlled by for insanely unnecessary amounts of time.


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## Optimist

bro, this is gold !! ... among all the recovery stories/tips I have seen, this has to be among the most motivating and humorous. I only signed up in this negative forum to say this to you. THANKS A LOT MAN.

I gotta agree with you, if there's anything that's slowing down my recovery, it would be those negative people I see here. I follow the straight and clear way of " don't give a fuck" and my DP gets so much better .. I even felt 90% normal again.. until I decide to come here and check for some extra final tips .. guess what, I would leave this website feeling 10000 times worse .. aaaaand I start from square one again... this cycle happened like 3 times in the past two months.. Too bad DP/anxiety taught us to be negative .. postivity is key to recovery...

anyways, I am feeling like myself once again .. I do emjoy the stuff that I used to .. not as much as before .. but I am getting there .. the only time when I feel a heavy DP/DR is when I test and check how I feel .. for some reason once I do that ... BAAAM ... DP/DR kicks in instantly .. Sometimes I would be having the best time with friends .. laughing and everything, but then my brain somehow reminds me that I have DP ..then I forget about my surroundings and check how I am feeling in that moment .. then I get another episode .. I only need to overcome this habit! If I do .. Then I would be FREEEEE BAAABY .. serioiusly though!

I would appreciate any tips on how to deal with this last problem ..



Walkingzombie said:


> its not a disorder just a fucked up state of mind that people let themselves be controlled by for insanely unnecessary amounts of time.


EXACTLY ... some years ago, I had panic attacks and a lot of DP and shit feelings .. I didn't now that feeling had a name and it was(depersonalization) ..therefore, I wasn't scared of it to be honest .. I learnt how to deal with the panic attacks .. and I cured myself ..DP disappeared with the panic attacks without me realizing .. I was like" it was just a feeling of discomfort" .. Two months ago, I googled "feeling of unreality" when I first had some stressful/anxious times... I found that depersonalization is a "disorder" ... that alone gave me panic attacks ..I thought my head was fucked up somehow .. and that made me beleive for a long time that it wasn't caused by anxiety ..especially when the episodes were at their peak .. anxious people shouldn't believe that they have a seperate "disorder" .. In my opinion (I could be wrong), its never a seperate "disorder" .. it's just a symptom.

thanks a lot .. again, I just can't describe how happy I was when I read your post ... I just see hope right there in front of me ..


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## actor_bs

ONLY way of recovering is ignoring, no matter how hard it can be in the moment. and with the time things are getting normal and you start resolving traumas and shit that got you in this awful state. 
I had my first major DP attack when I was very young.I haven't internet, any literature, any informations..and I was horribly ruined! I felt like only person with this in the whole uneverse. I didn't want to die, I didn't want to get mad. only thing that was on my mind is- carry on, ignore it, you'll get somewhere, do the things you like, love yourself.. I learned to ignore DP by myself, naturally or by instict, like animal, because it was only way for me to survive.. I managed to recover partly and have great time. after that I had attacks, DP was with me all the time, I learned to live with that. and nothing went wrong thank's God.

sure Walkingzombie, I'm honest.. everyone should accept the fact that this is disturbed state or disorder whatever, no problems with that.. throug the process of recovering I saw people really well through my camera







and I saw many disturbed,dumb, evil, shitty people and noone is perfect. be a good man, don't harm someone, fight for yourself and you'll be rewarded. I know that..

this topic is very inspiring, and it would be great thing that people write here their recovery experiances. every peace of information is invaluable for someone who suffer from this.
thank you people!!


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## sunflowersteve

haha i love your attitude dude. seriously though, you have to not give a fucking fuck! all these negative people on this forum, well no shit you don't feel any better! jeez i know it's hard to be positive but at least try harder. anyways, it truly is just a state of mind fueled by yourself. so i say fuck it, if i got myself into it i can get out


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## S.Snake

I recovered once but I am back in the hole and it feels much tougher this time around.

I am glad you recovered man, thanks for your post.


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## Nikorii

Please help me! I'm wondering if this sounds like depersonalization to you guys? I'm pretty much desperate so bear with my freaking out and sorry for the lengthy post.. I tend to try to give a lot of details.

It's like I can't feel anything for the things I WANT. If you do what you want to do in life and if you're a situation you'd normally be happy about aren't you supposed to feel it?!?! I can't feel anything!

I'm so frustrated already because I can't feel for the things that I WANT to feel like I'm enjoying doing.. especially for my boyfriend...

I love him. I KNOW I DO! I get pissed off if someone is telling me that I don't love him. That's enough to be convinced that I love him right? But why is it I can't feel anything for him or anything else that I love but I know I LOVE THEM! It's so frustrating it makes me want to cry all the time..

This is my situation.. I WANT TO DO THINGS, I want to be with people,I love people, I'm supposed to enjoy things.. BUT EVEN IF I GET WHAT I WANT I STILL CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING.. Which makes me think that I DON'T WANT IT or I DON'T LOVE THEM.. because I don't feel anything about it or about them.. it's so crazy I don't know what to do anymore...Any advice on this?

It's like out of the blue this happened to me after a health scare. I remember tweeting last Jan 22 "This is the best day ever! Thanks babe! I love you so much!" And then the feeling just "MAGICALLY" disappeared EXACTLY a week after Jan 29 is when I noticed I don't feel anything or I don't feel the same anymore... Help! How do I become myself again? Does anyone else feel this way?!

Is this still a part of depersonalization?

is there no way that my feelings can come back on its own?







I really wish it would..

I have another question.. Anxiety can amplify a really small problem right? Is it possible that I actually feel something but I think I don't ? Because I have these 'gut feelings' I don't really feel them but like... I feel like I should hug this person, say this, do that and it feels right but I don't actually "feel anything" I'm not sure if you get what I mean but something inside me tells me to do something and that's what steers my life right now.. I hope someone gets it. I mean.. What else will I follow? I'm an impulsive person and all that's why I let my feelings do the moving and talking and stuff but now I can't feel anything something inside me just tells me to do this or that... Are those my feelings being blocked by something or...? I don't know... it's weird. A lot of people tell me I'm over thinking it.. I'm always trying to look for my feelings and stuff like that... I always LOOK for it before I do anything... I always anticipate my feelings ever since I noticed I didn't feel the same anymore... I'm not sure if it's come back but I think I don't feel anything or I still don't feel anything at all. A lot of people are telling me to embrace the feeling of not feeling anything or feeling 'out of it' and things would just fall into place.. And some people are also telling me it's all in my head. They said the mind is a powerful tool that's why it can make small problems seem really big... Which is what I do a lot so I'm just wondering if there's anything I need to worry about..

Here in my country, it's very rare that people see therapists and psychiatrists.. although, I've been to two already... They say it's anxiety related.

Sometimes when I try not to think about it... I get anxious because people say it will get better if I get it out of my head and focus on what's real in my life and like "GO WITH THE FLOW" but ugh.. it's so hard to stop thinking about it when you feel nothing for anything every single day. Sometimes I try to divert my attention away but it gets me more panicky if I stop thinking about it and STILL can't feel anything...

Help! Please... I need some advice...

And please don't say "you must not love him anymore." THIS 1 YEAR RELATIONSHIP CAN'T BE LIKE THIS IN A WEEK. I was in a 4 year relationship once and even months after I wasn't over him yet just PROOF that I'm not that kind of person. And plus, I wouldn't be killing myself worrying about this if I really didn't love him anymore.

MY BIG QUESTION IS: WHAT DO I DO NOW? HOW DO I GET MY FEELINGS BACK FOR HIM.. THAT'S THE ONLY THING I WANT TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW







(

Let me share my almost exact feelings that I found on the net: 
You feel you have no more emotions whether positive or negative. You just feel "blah" about life. It can be distressing when you KNOW you care about somethings but you don't FEEL anything about it now.
Emotions may also come and go for no reason. You know you feel something in your head, but can't find it in your heart. You may also not care about anything anymore. in a sense, you have NO emotions about anything or things you used to.

I don't understand how I can WANT something but not feel anything for it.. and the ONLY THING I WANT is to feel love for him again because I KNOW I love him and something just isn't right about not feeling love for him and I KNOW it's not because I fell out of love with him because I can't feel for some places and events as well.. is it just the DP? I just really want to be connected with my feelings for him again. THAT'S THE ONLY EFFING THING I WANT IN THIS WORLD why can't I feel for it







( It's so frustrating..It's sucking the happiness out of me! I'd rather be emotionless than leave him so that must mean I love him.. and I know I do.. I love him so much! BUT UGH.. Not feeling anything is making me think that I don't even when I DO! ASDFGHJKL

Please help!!


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## Walkingzombie

Ok, people. Just like every other recovery story gets overlooked, this one did too. AND I KNOW there aren't any ones out there better than this one. None of them. You couldn't get better advice from God even if he beamed it into your head. People come here all to frequently and just bitch and moan about their symptoms while not taking any time to ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR GOD DAMN LIFE! Guess what people, you're ACTUALLY going to die some day. YUP. Once again, believe it or not, life ends. Now would you rather spend 10 years on this atrocity of a site complaining about what you don't have while completely taking for granted your soul. No one. And I mean, NO ONE on this forum had DP worse than me. Fucking fact. Know what I did? Fucking something about it. Now you can bitch and complain about your weak symptoms that you let pollute your already tainted mind, but you may as well be buried alive if you do. Reality check, eh? DP is a bitch of a "state of mind". That's it. It's a temporary state of mind, but of course it can be permanent if you LET it be. Continue to do nothing and complain about how hard your life is with your petty mind condition or actually face true shit like a life threatening illness that can take your breath away at any second. The only guarantee in life is a life worth dying for. Doesn't matter where you come from, it's the fact that you'll never take the same step twice.

Life is the greatest gift one can be given and yet the mice continue to enter the wheel as the sign into this site. Buried. Alive. Running around frantically posting if anyone else has had their symtpoms. OF course they fucking have you moron. You've searched the same symptoms every day for the past two years, it hasn't changed yet, has it? People like Dreamer who've had it for something like 30+ years still doesn't know how to live her life without being a victim of her own oblivion. I understand it often comes from childhood abuse, but I also had a pretty fucked up childhood as well, just took me 19 years to figure it out and why it caused my DP. The fact remains that no matter where you come from or what caused your DP is that you CAN and WIlL get better if actually make a full on attempt at beating. The people that have it the longest are the people who don't do shit about it and complain to the friends, family, doctors, etc about it. GUESS WHAT!? They have no advice to say! Haven't you learned that yet? No one except the people who've been through it know about it and even those dumbasses don't know how to beat it because they haven't done shit with their life over the past so odd years to change it. This. Is. Currently. Your. Life. Do you want to do something about it? Or just let it corrode and fade away as your soul slips away? It's your call, but the things I've done since beating DP can't even be explained because of how incredible my life has become since. I've met close to 1000 people, fucked tons of hot chicks, found a grammy award winning producer, won over the entire city of Philadelphia, and changed the lives and hearts of millions.

You got DP for a reason, so that you could beat it and become a better, stronger, and more well rounded person because of it. You will absolutely have an unimaginable appreciation for life once you beat it. IF you do that is. It's your choice. I have no other choice but to lay down the harsh reality of it because you won't get it from ANYONE on this earth. I'm doing this because I care about you guys and no one else on this forum has seemed to find an accurate solution to your temporary problem. Of course I left my fucking number because all I want to do is help you guys. THAT'S IT! I want you guys to find the joy that I found in life because I will remembered eternally for how much my life has changed and how I've already changed the hearts and minds of the thousands (soon to be millions) of people I've met. I'm the most positive person in the world and have advice for EVERY problem a person has gone through. No one on this planet has had a more fucked up 19 years on this planet than me. Maybe one person, but I'll let that name go for now. It's hardly important to what I'm trying to get into your heads.

I've received calls from Hawaii, California, New Hampshire, Wisconsin, and tons of other states helping people with their DP. Not a single one hasn't found my comforting advice useful or beneficial in their recovery. I'm a master of DP. Fucking Master. No one on this planet know DP better than me or how to beat it.

Now I hope I scared you a bit while giving you the strangely comforting reality check that you needed.

I'm here for each and everyone of you.

Once again, my number is 215-605-0966.

I expect calls.

Peace and love ya'll,
Peter Christian Anthony Gadonas


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