# DR Survey From a Fellow Sufferer



## Homers_child (Apr 13, 2008)

Hi. I don't post much on this forum although I'd like to change that. My name is Amber and I've had chronic DP and severe DR for about 7-8 years now. I am a Psychology major in college, and hoping to get minor degrees in Neurology and Psychiatry. I am going into the field SPECIFICALLY to study, research and provide counselling for Depersonalization (and Derealization) Disorder. I would like to learn more from fellow sufferers to gather some statistics. Please be truthful on all questions, do not exaggerate or leave out facts. This is for my own future knowledge and understanding, although I might cite statistics or quotes from this in the future. If you have a problem with that, please PM me and I won't quote anything you write down.

This may seem cumbersome to some of you but it would really help me out because I want to get down in the mud with this disorder and figure it out. I need your replies and experiences to aid me. There has been very little research done on this disorder, and I'm setting out to change that. Even planning on giving out awareness sheets in psychology classes through a professor I am friendly with. Keep in mind, THIS IS A DEREALIZATION SURVEY. That means I don't want descriptions on DP, although if you find it hard to separate the two, then just say your answer naturally as possible. Thank you to anyone who contributes. You can also PM me your responses if you don't want them visible to everyone. Cheerio.

*Derealization Survey*

1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?

2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse.

Dawn: 
Daylight: 
Dusk:
Dark:
Tinted Windows/Glasses:
Fluorescence:

3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)

4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR.

5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known?

6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy. 
Pic 1:









Pic 2:









Pic 3:









Pic 4:









8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?

9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana?

10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?


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## butterfly (May 11, 2010)

Homers_child said:


> Hi. I don't post much on this forum although I'd like to change that. My name is Amber and I've had chronic DP and severe DR for about 7-8 years now. I am a Psychology major in college, and hoping to get minor degrees in Neurology and Psychiatry. I am going into the field SPECIFICALLY to study, research and provide counselling for Depersonalization (and Derealization) Disorder. I would like to learn more from fellow sufferers to gather some statistics. Please be truthful on all questions, do not exaggerate or leave out facts. This is for my own future knowledge and understanding, although I might cite statistics or quotes from this in the future. If you have a problem with that, please PM me and I won't quote anything you write down.
> 
> This may seem cumbersome to some of you but it would really help me out because I want to get down in the mud with this disorder and figure it out. I need your replies and experiences to aid me. There has been very little research done on this disorder, and I'm setting out to change that. Even planning on giving out awareness sheets in psychology classes through a professor I am friendly with. Keep in mind, THIS IS A DEREALIZATION SURVEY. That means I don't want descriptions on DP, although if you find it hard to separate the two, then just say your answer naturally as possible. Thank you to anyone who contributes. You can also PM me your responses if you don't want them visible to everyone. Cheerio.
> 
> ...


Protecting your brain from accepting reality would make sense in light of severe loss or trauma. I think it's a malfunction in the brain, because it doesn't really help anyone. For me, it made me not want to leave the house or interact with others, so it may have a protective purpose.


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## Homers_child (Apr 13, 2008)

Thank you, butterfly! I found your replies interesting and helpful. Quite interesting that you rated the light of 'dark' as a -5, meaning it makes your DR the worst. For me it was the complete opposite. I made it a positive 8, because it really helped to relieve DR. Strange. See, this is why I wanted to do this survey, to see the differences and possible similarities.

I'm sorry you were exposed to the pictures, but many people with DP/DR have quite a lot of emotional blunting and I wanted a rating on that. Hopefully I didn't make you upset with the pictures.


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## butterfly (May 11, 2010)

Homers_child said:


> Thank you, butterfly! I found your replies interesting and helpful. Quite interesting that you rated the light of 'dark' as a -5, meaning it makes your DR the worst. For me it was the complete opposite. I made it a positive 8, because it really helped to relieve DR. Strange. See, this is why I wanted to do this survey, to see the differences and possible similarities.
> 
> I'm sorry you were exposed to the pictures, but many people with DP/DR have quite a lot of emotional blunting and I wanted a rating on that. Hopefully I didn't make you upset with the pictures.


No worries about the pictures - they weren't traumatizing or anything. I think it's great that you're doing this. You've found a way to use this experience to help other people and find meaning in your life and that's wonderful. Good luck!


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## butterfly (May 11, 2010)

butterfly said:


> No worries about the pictures - they weren't traumatizing or anything. I think it's great that you're doing this. You've found a way to use this experience to help other people and find meaning in your life and that's wonderful. Good luck!


And yes, the darkness is bad for my DR. Extreme sunlight can also have a mild effect, but night time is always the worst.


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## Planetary (Feb 4, 2010)

Homers_child said:


> *Derealization Survey*
> 
> 1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR? - Chronic. 10 years, at least.
> 
> ...


Hope this helps


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Homers_child said:


> Hi. I don't post much on this forum although I'd like to change that. My name is Amber and I've had chronic DP and severe DR for about 7-8 years now. I am a Psychology major in college, and hoping to get minor degrees in Neurology and Psychiatry. I am going into the field SPECIFICALLY to study, research and provide counselling for Depersonalization (and Derealization) Disorder. I would like to learn more from fellow sufferers to gather some statistics. Please be truthful on all questions, do not exaggerate or leave out facts. This is for my own future knowledge and understanding, although I might cite statistics or quotes from this in the future. If you have a problem with that, please PM me and I won't quote anything you write down.
> 
> This may seem cumbersome to some of you but it would really help me out because I want to get down in the mud with this disorder and figure it out. I need your replies and experiences to aid me. There has been very little research done on this disorder, and I'm setting out to change that. Even planning on giving out awareness sheets in psychology classes through a professor I am friendly with. Keep in mind, THIS IS A DEREALIZATION SURVEY. That means I don't want descriptions on DP, although if you find it hard to separate the two, then just say your answer naturally as possible. Thank you to anyone who contributes. You can also PM me your responses if you don't want them visible to everyone. Cheerio.
> 
> ...


Amber, first off, I want to commend you for going into the field of psychology, and specifically researching and studying this very misunderstood and under-diagnosed disorder. We definitely need someone like yourself to advocate on behalf of the dp/dr community to raise awareness and possibly establish solid treatment protocols in the years to come. I have no doubt that you will be someone who can offer lots to others and quite possibly even make a change in many people's lives. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors and hope you can gather the information that you need to better assist you in the future.


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## Minerva8979 (Jan 30, 2010)

1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?
Chronic, almost a year.

2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse.

Dawn: 0
Daylight: -7 (too bright)
Dusk: 7
Dark: 9 (It is hard to see at night, I've noticed)
Tinted Windows/Glasses: -6 (especially for tinted sunglasses)
Fluorescence: -10

3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)
All blunted.

4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR. 
Sometimes patterns distort slightly similar to the effects of a light psilocybin trip. There is often a light, static-like interference. It seems like my literal perception of things has not changed, however there is the overwhelming sensation that my brain can't process what I am seeing fully. I liken it to being blind because though I am physically aware of my sight, the things I see don't seem to resonate a meaning . This "brain feeling" as I call it, makes me feel like what im seeing is blurry too. Like the edges of things blend together. They aren't VISUALLY blending together, but I feel as if everything is all at once there. If that makes any sense? I'm sure there are more articulate ways to describe it. Most of all, the easiest way to describe it is it feels like being in a dream because your surroundings feel meaningless and random and there is a blurr effect, like in a dream.

5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known?
I have chronic DP/DR but what makes it worse is sudden change in environment, and too much environmental stimulation.

6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?
Not yet. What alleviated my DP/DR (besides healthier lifestyle) was using relaxation techniques such as yoga, tai chi, breathing exercises, and meditation.

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy.
1.5!!
2.5
3.4
4.5

8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?
Haven't tried any yet.

9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana? 
A history of PMDD, environmental stress and psychological abuse from childhood on, a recent imbalance of hormones that created hypoglycemic attacks, doing ecstasy, and smoking pot. The big finale was when I took one hit of pot and had a hypoglycemic attack, passed out, seizure. Haven't been the same since!

10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to? 
I think it's part of a complex system. I don't think there is one answer, I think it's complicated and personal and unique to the individual.


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## septimus (Jun 1, 2010)

*1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?*

Chronic. One year. *cringe*

*2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse. *

*Dawn: 0
Daylight: -5
Dusk: 0
Dark: -8
Tinted Windows/Glasses: -1
Fluorescence: -5 *

*3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)*

I think they are normal, except for hearing. It fluctuates. Sometimes it is muffled, sometimes it is heightened.

*4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR.*

I see constant visual snow on everything. Walls and patterns breathe and undulate. Rooms seem too big, walls too high, people too tall. Sunlight looks artificial, that's probably the most troubling for me. :[ Trees/nature looks fake. The outdoors looks like a video game.

*6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?*

Not really. After getting off the computer and hiking I felt like the dp/dr might have started to fade. I just wish I could continue with that... no more computer for me.

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy.

Pic 1: 5
Pic 2: 1
Pic 3: 1
Pic 4: 3

*8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?
*

I'm against medication. I don't consider it safe.

*9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana?*

It was a stressful time + marijuana. My parents divorced, I moved around all summer, I met new people, new sports, and started high school. Then one night I smoked too much weed and here I am.

*10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?*

I think (for people like me, anyway) that it's a habit. An addiction to dissociation. I had a bad childhood emotionally and I can't stand reality. If my dad hadn't been an alcoholic, I would not have DP/DR. I remember when I was 10-13 I didn't let myself cry. I don't think I cried more than once or twice in all those years.


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## nocturnus (Sep 11, 2010)

Homers_child said:


> *Derealization Survey*
> 
> *1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?*
> 
> ...


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## Homers_child (Apr 13, 2008)

insaticiable said:


> Amber, first off, I want to commend you for going into the field of psychology, and specifically researching and studying this very misunderstood and under-diagnosed disorder.


Thank you so much for the kind words! This is such a misunderstood disorder and it seems as though very few doctors are even bothering to research it. In my psychology textbook for school, in the abnormal section, under dissociative disorders, there was no DPD. My face:









Thanks for all the replies so far! I'm so glad people are taking the survey. It's really helping me get a sense of different people's experiences.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Derealization Survey

1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?

It's hard for me to tell. I have DP/DR for 5 years, and in the first 2 years my DR was severe, until Effexor made a real improvemnt in it so now I suffer from DP mainly, though I still think I have also DR just less severe (and still get sometimes very weird vision, mainly at malls). I can't really see the difference between the two anymore. It get mixed.

2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse.

Dawn: 0
Daylight: -5. Sometimes make my DR worse.
Dusk: 0
Dark: 0
Tinted Windows/Glasses: -1
Fluorescence: -7. THAT can bring back my DR at its worst sometimes.

I'm very sensitive to light so I usualy walk with sunglasses outside, sometimes even in the mall which I hate.

3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)

Only vision can get blunted.

4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR.

I see the world thorugh thick fog and it seems like everything around me get hazy and unclear, lack of vividness and color in a way. Also looks fake and far away than what it really is. Reminds me of the twilight zone. It always made me feel very dizzy and unable to foucs, very out of things, people, the world around me.

5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known?

Again, can't say what kind of DR I have but can say what makes it worse:
Strong lights, strong sounds, fatigue, stress, new places, MALLS (probably relates to too much of environmental stimulation haha) . Not long ago I stopped for a short while with the Effexor and got very bad DR.

6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy. 
Pic 1: 5

Pic 2: 5

Pic 3: 5

Pic 4: 5

They are all very disturbing but I can't tell if it's emotional response or just rational emotion that I get ALL THE TIME.

8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?

The only drug that improved my vision is Effexor XR.

9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana?

I had DR episodes as a child every time I went to the mall. I think there are a lot of things that caused my DR: personality, trauma, anxiety attacks.

10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?

ANXIETY and fear from dealing life.


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## DiscoStick (Dec 13, 2009)

*1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?
*

Chronic. I remember feeling this way when I was 5, so 13 years getting much worse in the past few.

*2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse. 
*
Dawn: -2
Daylight: -3
Dusk: 0
Dark: 3
Tinted Windows/Glasses: -1 (I tend to consider everything to me in a constant blue tint&#8230
Fluorescence: -5

*3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)
*

Sight is blunted 
Touch is blunted
Hearing is sensitive
Smelling is very sensitive

*4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR. 
*
Visual illusions. The walls breathe and I get constant visual snow. I don't recognise or associate with certain shapes or colours. My vision naturally blurs because holding onto clarity is just way too exhausting. Shapes constantly change shape and nothing makes sense.

*5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known?
*
My DR gets worse when there is an inconsistency of light-i.e. at a restaurant when there are numerous sources of bright light (candles, reflections from cutlery etc.) and when there is an inconsistency in colour. Which is probably why I get less DR at nighttime when colour and light vanish

*6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?
*
Not what I would consider to be full clarity.

*7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy. 
*Pic 1: 1

Pic 2: 5

Pic 3: 0

Pic 4: 3

*8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?*

I've never been on a drug which has specifically helped DR or attempted to specifically help it.

*9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana? 
*
My best guess is childhood trauma and possible drug ingestion at a young age

*10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to? *

It helps with emotional detachment when that is necessary


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## Leaf (Sep 8, 2010)

Planetary said:


> Hope this helps


Reading your answers, I had you pegged for an existentialist in a sense, have you read Nausea by Sartre? That book helps me a lot in times of distress; I think Sartre may have been familiar With DP/DR himself.


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## Leaf (Sep 8, 2010)

1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?

Chronic. Twelve years

2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse.

Dawn: 5
Daylight: -4
Dusk: -3
Dark: 2
Tinted Windows/Glasses: -10 - I find it IMPOSSIBLE to interact if I'm wearing sunglasses.
Fluorescence: -10

3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)

Hearing: If I don't actively focus my attention, I won't hear anything. I can tune out at the drop of a hat.
Vision: I have perfect vision but in times of major anxiety, everything blurs.
Taste: Occasionally I will lose my sense of taste completely. 
Touch: I'm constantly covered in bruises with no recollection of being hurt. I have a high pain threshold.

4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR.

Walls, floors, ceilings appear to be breathing. Patterns swirl. I describe my state as having a staircase behind me, starting upwards from my heals; though my body is on the ground, I spend my life feeling as though I am on the first or second step back. When my dp/dr is at its worst, I will be on the sixth step back. I will be talking or whispering to myself out loud often when I'm alone. Often for hours before I realise, but I will have no recollection of what I've said.

6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?

I know I have had them, they are few and far between and I don't recall the situations, or what triggered them. Although I never feel detached during sex, which is interesting I suppose.

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy.

Pic 1: 4
Pic 2: 5
Pic 3: 0
Pic 4: 3

8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?

Haven't tried anything. Although I think it worth noting that antidepressants make it worse.

9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana?

Moving country when I was ten. It wasn't traumatizing as such, but stressful and confusing. Leaving everything that was familiar behind.

10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?

Defense mechanism. Separating yourself from emotions/numbing the pain of <insert emotional baggage here>


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

*Derealization Survey*

*1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?*
Episodic. I don't know when it started but I recall episodes from age three. It did not become a problem as such until I turned thirteen when it became more frequent and severe. By age 16 it was pretty much constant. It began to subside at around 18/19. It went back to being episodic and a lot milder after that. While I do experience DR occasionally it was only severe when I was a teen. I am now in my late 20s.

*2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse. *

Most days DR doesn't affect my vision although Floerscent lighting usually gives me vertigo. 
However on the occasions when I do experience visual problems:
Dawn: -7
Daylight: -9
Dusk: -7
Dark: -5
Tinted Windows/Glasses: You know, I have no idea.
Fluorescence: -10

*3.Are your senses blunted or heightened?*
It varies. Sometimes I am hyperaware, other times I feel blunted.
My hearing usually becomes erratic changing in volume randomly. I'll have trouble filtering background noise and I get noise static - like tinnitus I guess?

My vision has at times been low saturation - monochrome, no colour. High contrast,distorted perspective. Things appear further away, elongated, they flicker, there is white noise like on a television screen not quite tuned into a station. When it has been particularly bad I sometimes get trails and afterimages. Sometimes there is tunnel vision. My vision appears jerky, like a dolly zoom in a film. It really depends on the day.

Sometimes my sense of smell is dulled, sometimes my sense of taste is nonexistant. Sometimes I don't feel hunger either.

*4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR. *
I am not sure what the question is but I guess it makes everything fragmented. Everything appears broken down into components. Everything is unfamiliar, distant, distorted, alien.

*5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known? *
Stress will do it, physical illness too(all it takes is the flu), I think I also react to lack of light - it 's usually more severe and frequent throughout winter. Sometimes it still seems random

*7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy. *
Depends what mode I am in when I look at them. When I get DP/DR I understand that an image is technically disturbing and would rate it as such but really I am thinking it 's interesting how red the theatre blood looks in the first one, that it 's a screen capture and I wonder what film it 's from. With the second one I think about how many black and white snuff shots there are out there. Which brings my mind to the image of the guy jumping from a building, shot by chance by a man who thought he was just taking a picture of a building. I am thinking not feeling. When it comes to the third one I think she looks a little bit like a friend of mine, just the bone structure and she reminds me a little bit of this nasty doll I had as a kid. You pulled her arm up and her face changed from a smile to a scowl. Just like that. The final picture looks pretty painful to me rigt now but when the DP/DR is more severe I'd probably just find myself thinking about the colours or something.

*8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?*
I was on medication years ago, it wasn't for me. I was at the time medicated for severe depression, which is what my DP/DR was diagnosed as at the time. I was on SSRIs, anxiotics and atypical antipsychotics as well as benzos.

*9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana? *
Unsure. I had some health issues at the time and was quite an anxious child as a result. Being a teenager is stressful for anyone so I guess it didn't take much to make frequent episodes into something far more intense.

*10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?*
Mauricio Sierra's book A New Look at a Neglected Syndrome collates a lot of study data regarding the psychophysiology of DPD. No theories myself.


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## Homers_child (Apr 13, 2008)

> *7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy. *
> Depends what mode I am in when I look at them. When I get DP/DR I understand that an image is technically disturbing and would rate it as such but really I am thinking it 's interesting how red the theatre blood looks in the first one, that it 's a screen capture and I wonder what film it 's from.
> 
> *10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?*
> Mauricio Sierra's book A New Look at a Neglected Syndrome collates a lot of study data regarding the psychophysiology of DPD. No theories myself.


Unfortunantely, the first picture is not a movie picture or fake. It's a screenshot from the incident of the Iranian woman getting shot in the neck for protesting against the Iranian government. It was a disturbing video and one that was highly watched during the time it occured. I think the reason it looks fake is because it IS a screenshot and its also a close-up.

And I never heard of that book, but I definitely try to find it and read it!


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

Homers_child said:


> Unfortunantely, the first picture is not a movie picture or fake. It's a screenshot from the incident of the Iranian woman getting shot in the neck for protesting against the Iranian government. It was a disturbing video and one that was highly watched during the time it occured. I think the reason it looks fake is because it IS a screenshot and its also a close-up.
> 
> And I never heard of that book, but I definitely try to find it and read it!


Ha. There is the trouble with interpretation







Typical that I'd assume it was a fake. Our culture is so oversaturated with these sorts of graphic images I am not sure you can even call a blunted response to such footage abnormal anymore.

There 's a PDF version of the book.


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## Planetary (Feb 4, 2010)

Leaf said:


> Reading your answers, I had you pegged for an existentialist in a sense, have you read Nausea by Sartre? That book helps me a lot in times of distress; I think Sartre may have been familiar With DP/DR himself.


Yes, yes, yes. When I first read Nausea I was like: Ok, this is me speaking through Sartre. He expressed my thoughts better than I could ever do








I'm glad you know this amazing book! I think everyone who has dp-dr should read it once!


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## Leaf (Sep 8, 2010)

Planetary said:


> Yes, yes, yes. When I first read Nausea I was like: Ok, this is me speaking through Sartre. He expressed my thoughts better than I could ever do
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Agreed! I read a lot, although it takes me A LONG TIME to get through a book due to my dpd - I really struggle to stay focussed and often it'll separate me even more from reality. If I've had a particularly bad couple of months I'll cut out the reading for a while to give myself time to recover. 
Have you read Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse? I think that is a must read as well, especially if you like Nausea.


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## Leaf (Sep 8, 2010)

Amber, a couple of things I forgot to mention in the survey but are worth noting are that I often have problems with my speech. My thoughts often stumble over themselves as I try to speak them and I end up babbling incoherently. Sometimes in times of great stress I struggle to get words out at all. Speaking on the phone is a huge task.

Also, I find my dpd is exacerbated to the point of panic attack when I'm in a crowd. In places like busy shopping malls or supermarkets I tend to freeze in one spot and am unable to move.


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## kaitlyn_b (Jun 9, 2010)

Derealization Survey Answers

1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?
•	In the beginning, my DR was chronic, now it is episodic and mainly only when I think about it.

2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse. 
•	-4

Dawn: 0
Daylight: -4
Dusk:0
Dark:0
Tinted Windows/Glasses:-2
Fluorescence: -6

3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)
•	My sense of visual is heightened, although I am extremely sensitive to light, I still see and notice things that I normally would not have noticed in the past.

4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR. 
•	Fear, Racing Thoughts, Can't find a comfortable place in the world, Just want to sleep

5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known?
•	Stressful events, Sometimes however, I don't even know what it is I am afraid of or anxious about.

6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?
•	I used to get moments of clarity when I would be at home in bed right before I fell asleep.

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy. 
Pic 1: 2

Pic 2: 2

Pic 3: 4

Pic 4: 4

8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?
•	I have been on Abilify, Buspar, Effexor XR, Zoloft, Lexapro, Neurontin, and Klonepin. The Abilify and Buspar has helped the most. Although, I still get the racing thoughts, lack of energy, tunnel vision etc.

9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana? 
•	I moved to a new house, went thru a bad emotionally abusive relationship and breakup, watched my mom get shot, so Im guessing a bit of anxiety mixed with PTSD. I also noticed my DR and depression trigger when I got a steroid injection for asthma. It was within 24 hours.

10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to?
•	DR has completely perplexed me. All I know is that I woke up one morning after having the cortisone injection, and was completely fine when all of a sudden this strange feeling came over me. It hasn't left fully since. That was 5 months and one week ago today.


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## BusyBee (Aug 7, 2010)

1.Is your DR chronic or episodic? How long have you had DR?
Chronic, 6 months

2.Rate your sensitivity to light to these situations. 0 for no change, 10 for improved clarity. Negative numbers if it makes your usual DR worse.

Dawn: 0 fast asleep!
Daylight: -1
Dusk: 1
Dark: -2 scared that im not here
Tinted Windows/Glasses: 0)
Fluorescence: -10 horrendous. My office at work is nasty.

3.Are your senses blunted or heightened? (For personal example, my sense of touch is blunted but my sense of hearing is heightened and sensitive.)
Blunted but the light seems to shine off things brighter.

4.Describe your personal perception while under the influence of DR.

I agree so much with 'Minerva8979' i am copying the answer if thats ok








Originally, the DR was a shock to me and i felt as though i was on the other side of a screen. But ive seen all of this. Sometimes a i wonder if things look more real but decide im just getting used to it. it looks flat and too bright, like described below.

Sometimes patterns distort slightly similar to the effects of a light psilocybin trip. There is often a light, static-like interference. It seems like my literal perception of things has not changed, however there is the overwhelming sensation that my brain can't process what I am seeing fully. I liken it to being blind because though I am physically aware of my sight, the things I see don't seem to resonate a meaning . This "brain feeling" as I call it, makes me feel like what im seeing is blurry too. Like the edges of things blend together. They aren't VISUALLY blending together, but I feel as if everything is all at once there. If that makes any sense? I'm sure there are more articulate ways to describe it. Most of all, the easiest way to describe it is it feels like being in a dream because your surroundings feel meaningless and random and there is a blurr effect, like in a dream.

5.For episodic sufferers: What triggers your episodes of DR, if they are known?
Again, i agree with below. 
I have chronic DP/DR but what makes it worse is sudden change in environment, and too much environmental stimulation.
There is a local junk shop which i used to love but when i go in there now i feel so derealised and lightheaded like i need to get out before i pass out.

6.For chronic sufferers: Has there ever been moments of clarity? If so, what was the situation?
Not really. Sometimes at the petrol station (for some reason) i feel mildly mre normal but tell myself, 'nah, its just as weird as it has been for the last 6 months'

7.Please rate your emotional response to the following pictures. 0 for complete apathy, 5 for empathy.
1.4
2.4
3.3
4.4 reality tells me these arnt nice. But i am emotionally numbed to some extent, althogh thats improving. Now i get shocked at things, or cry. To begin with, i didnt cry atall. i think if a man came up behind me with a knife ((picture the situation) i would have been there for the taking.

8.What has been your medication experience trying to help DR specifically? What drugs have helped? What has failed?
Haven't tried any. Specialist neurologist said hed rather not send me down that road.

9.What triggered your DR? A trauma? Anxiety attacks? Marijuana? 
Not sure. I was in a stressful relationship for two years. I had migraine develop just 4 days before my DR bagan and it was after my 2nd ever migraine. i havnt had a migraine in 5 months as im on preventitive meds. (pitzotofen) i at ffirst thought it was a virus as i had fever when it started but my dr thinks it was stress. ive decided to accept that theory now.

10.Do you have any personal theories or thoughts about DR, how and why it happens, what part of the brain you think it is related to? 
I have had so many theorys.
At first i belived that there was something slowing in the brain. Something neuro-chemical. However all my tests were clear. Its like i have burn out. All my symptoms point toward adrenal fatigue. Im big on that at the mo but im sure something will disprove that soon. Good Luck and keep positive


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