# if only i could see



## feelingunreal (Dec 29, 2010)

So for the past few weeks I've been thinking:

I find that the worst symptom is my vision. Like, I have perfect vision... but I don't. It's hard to explain. It's like the information my eyes send to my brain is somehow cut down to the point where it only registers that I am seeing one specific thing, rather than everything. For example, right now as I type I can only "see" each word I'm typing. Everything else is a blur. But if I look at the coffee cup next to my computer, that becomes perfectly clear and everything else becomes the blur. Also, I have extreme sensitivity to light because of this. It's like the "blur" or "fog" amplifies the brightness to the point that I need to squint A LOT even on cloudy days.

Sometimes I feel like... perhaps if I could see better, I would no longer have DP? Does anyone else feel this way?


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## Parachutes333 (Dec 13, 2010)

I think I could relate to this a bit.. but my main problem right now is visual snow. Its something I think everyone can see but you have to be super aware and in tuned to your vision... Its like seeing clear transparent fuzzy static.. especially while looking at darkness or dark objects... Can you relate man? Also I get after images.. but I think its because I am obsessing about my vision.. I am hyper aware and always focused on it.. I don't have to see these things if I don't want to. Also when I stare long enough at walls ect, they appear like its moving but not moving. I am not sure if that makes sense. Its not blatantly moving.. Its just feels like it is. Maybe this is an anxiety/dizziness symptom?


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## Timer (Feb 10, 2011)

Hey,

I totally understand where your coming from, the vision is the hardest element for me.

I have decided to put it down to anxiety for now and do everything to fix that in the hope the vision improves in turn.

Good luck, if you come across anything that improves do update!


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## feelingunreal (Dec 29, 2010)

Parachutes333 said:


> Hey,
> 
> I totally understand where your coming from, the vision is the hardest element for me.
> 
> ...


Yeah, I feel like they're definitely related so I'm hoping that once I deal with the anxiety my vision will get better too


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## aftershave (Jun 9, 2011)

i know how it is. if i look at my hand right now i see it perfect. but behind my hand is a snowy world i cant really see unless i focus on that other thing


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## baking_pineapple (Apr 27, 2011)

Have you ever heard of "retinitis pigmentosa"? It's a disease that attacks periphereal vision, making everything outside your center of vision blurry, which kinda sounds like what you're describing. Have you seen an eye doctor?


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## Quarter Pounder (Jun 17, 2011)

I relate to everything you said, exept for the sensitivity to light.

Last year, in order to get my driver's license, I had to take a visual examination and I did excellent in it. I supposedly have 20/20 vision, but like you, I do feel like it is perfect and not perfect simultaneously if that's even possible.
My vision is always focused on something specific, no matter how small or big it is (this can be, like you said, a word in the computer screen, a coffee cup, or even -for me at least- a huge building) but it never gets the "whole" thing.

*But*, I don't think it's a visual problem, it would be great if it was just that. Thing is, even when I close my eyes, I don't feel the derealization "lifting". So I guess is a much bigger problem. Like if the whole life perception was always focused in something. For example, my perception of time is also focused. I feel the current moment, but I don't really recall the rest of the day (unless I specifically try to remember it). And if I do, it feels much further than it should. That's why, for me, derealization feels like you are stuck in a bubble where you never get the whole picture.


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## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

I also deal with the same problems.
Especially sensitivity to light.
It usually makes the DP/DR a lot worse and there's times where what I'm looking at doesn't register in my head so I am basically looking at nothing. 
I feel pretty blind.


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## feelingunreal (Dec 29, 2010)

kurnaku said:


> I also deal with the same problems.
> Especially sensitivity to light.
> It usually makes the DP/DR a lot worse and there's times where what I'm looking at doesn't register in my head so I am basically looking at nothing.
> I feel pretty blind.


Same here. I would compare this to blindness. What's the point in being able to see if it seems like your brain can't even register what it is you're looking at?


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

I am near 100% sure that the vision problems associated with DP/DR are entirely psychological in nature. In my own experience, when I am less DP'd, my vision is better. When I have had very little DP, my vision has been good.


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