# Dealing with Fake personalities, desperate for help



## yodawg (Jun 8, 2013)

So I got into this university, where majority of people were not sharing my interests. and I was not an out and out extrovert but I used to have decent number of good friends throughout childhood and pre-university days who I befriended because we had things in common.

In University, I had nothing in common with most of the people.As I was into Heavy metal, Football, Philosophy ,Theoretical physics, Art-house movies etc , while most of the other students were very much in the mainstream.

So, I never really wanted to get isolated so I developed a fake personality, I gave up on academics cause my course sucked ,I still had decent grades,so there was no necessity to care about acads, so my main identity became a serial socializer and my main motto was trying to fit in by being funny, appearing interested in their talks. With no interest in acads, this became my main aim. To perfectly fit into a society in which I never belonged.

For 2 years this went on and I had weed a lot in my second year (which increases the difference b/w real and fake personalities), I had a panic attack in the end(not while on weed) and bamm! DP. So, Its been 3 months, and I've been having DP on/off. I followed the mainstream advice, ignoring it, exercising and so on. And while this helped reduce all but brainfog and time perception of the DP symptoms and got rid of much of DR. I still have issues.

Infact, for some reason, When I get into my fake personality, DP doesn't exist, but that's not a cure because, well, its my fake personality!

And I think I can't really connect with who I really am. And thus I get DP'd when I am by myself because it seems I forgot how to be the old me and to totally get back to reality you need a strong sense of real personality but I've been familiar only with my fake personality which only works when I am socializing.

How to develop a real personality? Should I visit a shrink? I am desperate for help because thinking all this has made me tired and confused and thats not a help when DP lurks around the corner.


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## yodawg (Jun 8, 2013)

I dont think I have MPD because I created this fake personality myself conciously while interacting with this environment. Even while, I am on my fake personality, I am aware that this isnt the real me, and I consciously suppressed my real personality, problem is, I suppressed it for too long, I want to get it back and integrate it with some skills i developed through my fake personality.

My DP is just built on anxiety, my nerves are worn out because I had this fake personality all day in college and was anxious all the time. I could never genuinely change into the fake personality because it is inferior to my real personality.

When I had vacations back in home, I was truly myself.

Problem is, my fake personality gets me recognition and fame, while my real personality is not that glamorous in my society.

I feel fucked and overwhelmed by the task at hand of integrating the personalities while fighting DP. If I do manage to integrate them, I will never have to fight DP ever again.


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## XBrave (Oct 28, 2016)

i can totally relate


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

It's important to discover who you are, what you like, and go with that. Don't try to be something you are not.

But also look at WHY you like what you like. If you really love alternative hobbies, fantastic. OR..are you acting alternative out of pride, like you felt rejected by the mainstream so you are going to be as cool and weird as possible to retaliate? It could be either way.


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