# How bad does your dp/dr get?



## simplynothing (Aug 23, 2009)

Ive been dealing with this daemon for almost 7 years now,so Ive been through varying degrees of severity, but its been particularly hellish these past 2 years. Yesterday I experienced something that I haven't in all these years of suffering. I was looking at a water bottle on a dresser and for a couple seconds there was nothing that would have been able to convince me that it wasn't a dream. It felt like I transcended dp/dr in to a total dream. It shook me up so much that I felt electric shocks course through my body. It was terrifying to say the least and I hope that it never happens again. How bad has your dp/dr gotten?


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## Minerva8979 (Jan 30, 2010)

I've experienced brief moments of that but I remind myself vigorously that "this IS REAL". Lately the Celexa I've been taking for 4 days has been kicking my ass though. It heightens the derealization like 10 fold!

Are you stressed out right now?


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2011)

Hi simplynothing,

Sorry to here about your latest experience. It sounds very confusing to say the least. I hope you settle down and feel better soon.
I thought I'd throw my latest horrible experience in the pot. I don't know which of the dissociative disorders this one comes under, could be one of a few for me. Over the past couple of days I now know what is meant by the term 'the fragmented mind'. Early yesterday morning at work I started to feel really, really messed up. It took me a little while to realise what was happening. My mind was in 'bits,' it was totally fragmented. There were bits all over the place. I could only take one bit at a time and use it, be it a memory, thought, emotion, feeling, a sense and more I can't define right now. I saw a psychiatrist yesterday and described the feeling to her in these words. "It's like my mind is a house. In my house there are many rooms and in each room there are lot's of mirrors. All the mirrors are broken". I think that about sums it up! 
I'm going to call a hospital pretty soon if it doesn't ease up,

Philos


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

simplynothing said:


> Ive been dealing with this daemon for almost 7 years now,so Ive been through varying degrees of severity, but its been particularly hellish these past 2 years. Yesterday I experienced something that I haven't in all these years of suffering. I was looking at a water bottle on a dresser and for a couple seconds there was nothing that would have been able to convince me that it wasn't a dream. It felt like I transcended dp/dr in to a total dream. It shook me up so much that I felt electric shocks course through my body. It was terrifying to say the least and I hope that it never happens again. How bad has your dp/dr gotten?


For me, at my worst, (and I don't know how bad this is compared to what you and what Philos just posted), but I feel like I am completely dead, invisible, or non-existent. I feel *blind*. I could be looking at the most beautiful piece of scenery and it's like I can't see it at all. Totally blank, totally dead. Not here at all. Like there's no ''me'' in my body anymore.


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## simplynothing (Aug 23, 2009)

Minerva8979 said:


> I've experienced brief moments of that but I remind myself vigorously that "this IS REAL". Lately the Celexa I've been taking for 4 days has been kicking my ass though. It heightens the derealization like 10 fold!
> 
> Are you stressed out right now?


 Yea,im pretty stressed right now.


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## simplynothing (Aug 23, 2009)

insaticiable said:


> For me, at my worst, (and I don't know how bad this is compared to what you and what Philos just posted), but I feel like I am completely dead, invisible, or non-existent. I feel *blind*. I could be looking at the most beautiful piece of scenery and it's like I can't see it at all. Totally blank, totally dead. Not here at all. Like there's no ''me'' in my body anymore.


Wow! I'm so glad you posted. I feel blind as well. My vision is fine,but my mind is just not processing what my eyes are seeing so I feel blind.


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## simplynothing (Aug 23, 2009)

Philos said:


> Hi simplynothing,
> 
> Sorry to here about your latest experience. It sounds very confusing to say the least. I hope you settle down and feel better soon.
> I thought I'd throw my latest horrible experience in the pot. I don't know which of the dissociative disorders this one comes under, could be one of a few for me. Over the past couple of days I now know what is meant by the term 'the fragmented mind'. Early yesterday morning at work I started to feel really, really messed up. It took me a little while to realise what was happening. My mind was in 'bits,' it was totally fragmented. There were bits all over the place. I could only take one bit at a time and use it, be it a memory, thought, emotion, feeling, a sense and more I can't define right now. I saw a psychiatrist yesterday and described the feeling to her in these words. "It's like my mind is a house. In my house there are many rooms and in each room there are lot's of mirrors. All the mirrors are broken". I think that about sums it up!
> ...


Sounds pretty bad. How long have you had this?


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

Everything breaks down in meaning. Words, ideas, anything seems to have uncertainty to it. The world looks like a movie playing out. People seem robotic, soul-less. I feel I was part of a script, but then became aware of it, that I was under this illusion of what was. So it seems as if there never was anything, or a real me, other than this fake constructed thought of it, which I was fooled by...

Thankfully it hasn't gotten that bad in many months.


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## resinoptes (Jan 15, 2011)

gill said:


> Everything breaks down in meaning. Words, ideas, anything seems to have uncertainty to it. The world looks like a movie playing out. People seem robotic, soul-less, puppets. I feel I was part of a script, but then became aware of it, that I was undert this illusion before. So it seems as if there never was anything, or a real me, other than this fake constructed thought of it, which I was fooled by...


I get into a state where there is no central focus to my perceptions or awareness. What you describe is similar. The connection between symbols and referents breaks down so it feels everything I see is being seen for the first time, but not by 'me'. Also, when I walk it feels mechanical and clumsy, as though I am not properly contained in the limits of my body. Reading memory and concentration are difficult if not impossible, I get heavy floaters in my eyes. When I am walking, it feels as though my vision is somehow 'lagging' behind my movement, and I see my periphery more than the central field of vision. I also get a lot of tension headaches, jaw tension, tingling (parasthesia) in hands and feet, right/left confusion, cannot sleep, intrusive thoughts, feel like 'i' am not in control of my thoughts, get stuck in my long term memories. My arms and legs spasm a bit too.

What an unpleasant litany that is (not like that all the time, just at my worst)


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

...


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## resinoptes (Jan 15, 2011)

j4mtj said:


> You know, if I was reading this as someone who knew nothing about DP I would think that these symptoms are a sign of something neurological. Maybe we should all be going to a neurologist first before therapists, etc.


Well I think we're all living demonstrations of the unity of mind and body.


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## resinoptes (Jan 15, 2011)

and also their separability

both and neither again


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## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

Right now I can barely get out of bed. No concentration, fogginess. Nothing seems real. I feel like I'll disappear into thin air anytime now. Nothing makes sense. It has attacked everything reality stands for. I feel like I don't even understand what language is anymore. This goes on 24/7.


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## natebookd (Jan 2, 2011)

Minerva8979 said:


> I've experienced brief moments of that but I remind myself vigorously that "this IS REAL".


This is a good way to deal with it. When this happens to me the triggers seem pretty random but I remind myself that "this is happening" or "don't think about that"..
Trying to out think the feeling too much alot of times would make it worse for me.


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## simplynothing (Aug 23, 2009)

I was feeling better,but these past couple days have been absolute hell. I dont know why its gotten so bad.


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