# I enter depersonalization/depression/anxiety for days after ejaculating. What the hell is wrong with me?



## missingno17 (Aug 13, 2011)

Who would I go to see about this specifically? What is this indicative of (maybe low testosterone and my body can't make enough to keep up/replace it? but I don't have a squeaky high voice, I do have body hair, etc. Or perhaps something dealing with the dopamine/serotonin/other chemicals that are released...)? I'm not sure how ejaculating from frequent sex would turn out, as I quite frankly haven't gotten any lately, but this is honestly ruining my life at this point. I don't want to have to live my life like a neutered monk or only ejaculate once every week or two weeks tops (it doesn't seem AS bad at that frequency) to ensure I don't have a meltdown. I can hold off in the meantime, but that seems neither like a happy nor long-term solution with a partner in the future.

I know it's normal to feel a little tired or low after ejaculating, but this is far from that. I literally get horrendous depersonalization, social anxiety, clouded thoughts, incoherent speech that does not feel like my own, lack of motivation, warped judgment, emptiness, you name it -- for DAYS. In short, I totally lose my "self." Is there a such thing as a sex doctor who can treat this kind of crap? Any serious replies are welcome. I'm desperate because I've now realized it's a serious, life-altering problem that fundamentally changes who I am and makes it a hell of a job to function and socialize at even a basic level.

*P.S.* As far as "talk to a doctor," I actually have no health insurance currently (getting it in October) so I was coming here for starters to see if anyone knew what this specifically sounded like. Also, I'm not religious or anything that would make this merely some sort of severe guilt issue with watching porn. I've additionally tried masturbating (to porn, yes) WITHOUT climaxing, and none of this happens, suggesting it may strictly be an issue with ejaculation and its associated chemicals.

I know the relationship with sex and DP has probably been discussed, but I will love you forever if you have any specific leads, info, or personal experiences with the specific problem I'm talking about. Thank you all in advance.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

paladin8400 said:


> Who would I go to see about this specifically? What is this indicative of (maybe low testosterone and my body can't make enough to keep up/replace it? but I don't have a squeaky high voice, I do have body hair, etc. Or perhaps something dealing with the dopamine/serotonin/other chemicals that are released...)? I'm not sure how ejaculating from frequent sex would turn out, as I quite frankly haven't gotten any lately, but this is honestly ruining my life at this point. I don't want to have to live my life like a neutered monk or only ejaculate once every week or two weeks tops (it doesn't seem AS bad at that frequency) to ensure I don't have a meltdown. I can hold off in the meantime, but that seems neither like a happy nor long-term solution with a partner in the future.
> 
> I know it's normal to feel a little tired or low after ejaculating, but this is far from that. I literally get horrendous depersonalization, social anxiety, clouded thoughts, incoherent speech that does not feel like my own, lack of motivation, warped judgment, emptiness, you name it -- for DAYS. In short, I totally lose my "self." Is there a such thing as a sex doctor who can treat this kind of crap? Any serious replies are welcome. I'm desperate because I've now realized it's a serious, life-altering problem that fundamentally changes who I am and makes it a hell of a job to function and socialize at even a basic level.
> 
> ...


Welcome to the forum.

Haven't heard this one before - but it seams anything can happen. The first thought is some emotional issue - and yes there are sex doctors. Probably all psychologists work with sex issues a lot. As for guilt or triggers &#8230; humm. Certainly repressed memories could cause this.

When did this all start happening? And is there anything that changed or happened recently?

Please describe your symptoms of DP and/or DR.


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## missingno17 (Aug 13, 2011)

1.) Hey Visual, thanks for the reply. In addition to the symptoms in the original post, after this happens I get the classic DP feeling like I'm watching a pointless movie of "paladin8400" rather than me actually living my life. Working my ass off to maintain a good job, exercising, having a girlfriend, and being social, eating well, and generally "doing the right thing" haven't ultimately helped this. I become completely detached from my words and actions as if I'm not saying and performing them (expect a lot of blank, empty "ok...ok"'s and "yeah"'s, whereas you can't get me to stop talking when I'm not affected by this). My sense of goals and pride completely dies because I feel like my mind and body are separate, like I'm a mind trapped in someone else's body that's not me, and it gets downright frustrating trying to pick up and care for someone that's not really me and who I don't _know_. Whereas usually I just feel like I'm one; I feel like myself. Completely normal and happy. When I ejaculate, that *all* goes out the window in the subsequent days.

2.) The passion for everything is just gone like I'm a robot. The smallest tasks seem like insurmountable chores because there's no longer a connection between my actions and improving how I feel -- it's just as if I'm in a constant haze regardless of what else I'm doing. This results in the loss of interest in all social endeavors and social ability because it feels like about 10% of my brain is working. It makes it impossible to think fluidly and helped turned me from an A student to a C/D/F student.

3.) Again, this ALWAYS happens in the hours/days after sexual climax. The more I research the more I'm starting to think I have some kind of dopamine deficiency that becomes exposed or worsened when dopamine is released during an orgasm. If I wait a week or more, my personality and happiness returns -- there's a direct correlation.

4.) As for repressed memories, there's really no leads as far as being molested or something sexually traumatic like that. My dad died drowned when I was 6, but I'm not sure how that would manifest itself only in this aspect of my life (seems irrelevant, but you never know with these things). I've experienced this since I was a kid and discovered that sex was a part of life, but I never really knew what it was until just recently. I was thought to just have normal depression, and I was prescribed various SSRI's and antidepressants and stuff to try to treat it, with little to no effect. Now I realize have to try avoid the powerful biological urge of sexual relief just to prevent a crash. It's insane + maddening.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Well, I've always been a proponent of the usefulness of dopamine since it has helped me significantly. SSRIs tend to lower dopamine. It sound like you have already worked with doctors some on this problem. Perhaps in October, you could ask your doctor for either Requip or Wellbutrin SR - these increase dopamine in the brain and are worth a try in your case. Your hypothesis is not out of line. Also ask for a prolactin and testosterone blood test, and be sure to get a copy of the numbers for yourself.

Do you have muscle tightness or spasm - particularly in upper body and/or calves?

Do you have visual problems such as poor night vision or depth perception?

Do you have RLS or tend to fidget a lot?


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## sacredrealm (Mar 8, 2011)

Wow, I understand and can relate to this!

With me, it may not be as extreme, as in, all my problems with these feelings don't only come after doing this. And these feeling vary in severity.

But, I find that ejaculating doesn't help at all and that after doing so, I feel an immediate sink. Literally straight after, and will straight away think "I'm never doing that again", or "ahhh why did I do that"? And I dn't consciously feel this it to do with guilt. Its just a feeing.

The time it takes to get over it varies for me.

This has made me develop a resistence to ejaculation. For, I think at least 3 years or maybe more, I haven't ejaculated on purpose. Only accident. I kind of don't mind this fact somtimes. Because it makes me train myself and always strive to go longer without ejaculating. However the resistance comes from wanting to stay in the horny feeling zone, as I much prefer it to he feeling after. And I just don't get the big deal about (male) orgasm anyway, at least how it is for me. I'd rather have a sustained good feeling. But anyway, I know thats where the resistence comes from. I think I too have always experienced it, just probabaly gradualy worse since was able to actially ejaculate.

So for me, I don't really let it stop me. I just avoid ejaculation at all costs haha. I have never had actual sex yet BTW, and often wonder how this would be with a person. I always imagine the feeling after ejaculating with a real woman would be worse. So when I do, I plan to avoid it in real sex too. I seriously plan to try and not ejaculate in that situation haha.

Also, it feels like a dissociative kind of thing in general to me, because, well at least afterwards, because the feeling of ejaculating and after I find uncomfortable for this reasons and therefore don't want to associate with it haha.

I think there is an actual condition Ive read obout on the internet called post orgasm depression or something. But I'm not sure weather I have this or just that in general and it helps bring it on.


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## KRT (Apr 11, 2011)

I've been dealing with DP to varying degrees for the last 12 years of my life, but only in the last couple years have I actually fully realized that what I Was feeling was definitely not normal and that there was actually a name for it.

I've always realized there's a correlation between how motivated and outgoing I am and when the last time I ejaculated was. But I thought that's how it was for all men. It wasn't until the last year or so that I've learned what DP really is that I started to realize that my ability to concentrate, remember, connect with my external feelings, etc (all of the classic DP issues) tend to get a lot worse after ejaculation, and get even worse if I ejaculate multiple times in a short span of time. The drop off isn't 'quick' per se... like I don't feel noticeably worse immediately after. It just kind of sneaks up on me.

So far I haven't determined when I actually get my mojo back. Again it's not a quick or sudden thing. I'm pretty sure that for at least the first 3 days or so that there's little to no improvement. But somewhere between day 4 or 5 it seems things slowly start improving and by around day 7 I'm feeling notably better. I may still battle with a little disassociation and general anxiety on day 7 but it's usually MUCH more livable than especially the first 3 days after ejaculation.

Unfortunately what I think I've also found is that there's a drop-off in the positive effects somewhere between day 7 and day 14. Maybe the lack of ejaculation worsens my mood somehow. I'm not sure what chemically happens. Or maybe it's not really that bad and I just lose perspective on how bad being fully depersonalized really is.

I really haven't experimented with this enough partly because I haven't fully believed there could be such a correlation (until I started reading stuff like this thread), and partly because I'm married and going a week or more without having sex is very rare.

I'm currently either 3.5 or 4.5 days out from the last time I ejaculated and this time I plan to abstain from ejaculation for quite a while and keep a close eye on how I'm feeling. I'll also watch this thread for updates.


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## Hello123 (Dec 14, 2017)

KRT said:


> I've been dealing with DP to varying degrees for the last 12 years of my life, but only in the last couple years have I actually fully realized that what I Was feeling was definitely not normal and that there was actually a name for it.
> 
> I've always realized there's a correlation between how motivated and outgoing I am and when the last time I ejaculated was. But I thought that's how it was for all men. It wasn't until the last year or so that I've learned what DP really is that I started to realize that my ability to concentrate, remember, connect with my external feelings, etc (all of the classic DP issues) tend to get a lot worse after ejaculation, and get even worse if I ejaculate multiple times in a short span of time. The drop off isn't 'quick' per se... like I don't feel noticeably worse immediately after. It just kind of sneaks up on me.
> 
> ...


Hello friends - I have been feeling this exact same way over the last 10 years and had chosen to ignore it as i did believe this to be normal...unfortunately these types of feelings have been very difficult to avoid and the above symptoms are an exact mirror of how I am feeling. Are you able to let me know what you had done to get past these "episodes"? Day 7 is when I start doing a little better and I am back to normal day 14, but then again it starts all over again. The more I research, the more I find this is definitely not normal. What is working? Thank you friends...


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## bigpwn (Dec 14, 2017)

Have you checked NoFap?


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