# Socializing



## Sike25 (Apr 30, 2012)

How do you guys go about socializing? It's really difficult to force my self to talk to people much less go out. My dp got to the point where I can't form thoughts and don't even know what I'm going to say. Words just fly out of my mouth and I hope for the best but I usually end up saying something weird or awkward.

Any tips on socializing? What has and hasn't worked?


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2013)

If socialising is difficult, don't force yourself into going out. Just take your time with dp. The worst thing is to force yourself to go out and be even more dissociated. Take it easy. Be kind to yourself. Fuck the preconceptions of this stupid world! You'll get your chance to be a social animal when you're ready, till then, take the pressure off and be kind to yourself. Do what ever feels good&#8230;. don't listen to someone, or a society that knows nothing about how you feel.. There's nothing wrong with being by yourself or having a friend over to watch a dvd and have an easy relaxing night..

My 2 cents.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

You have to do it every now and again to gauge your progress. I hate socializing now and avoid it whenever possible, but I'm made to do it all the time.

To be 100% honest - socializing has not aided my DP/DR one bit. Socializing makes me withdraw into myself even more so than usual. If I am given some time alone I can normally regain a slight sense of self-confidence, but as soon as I see friends I have to force myself to talk just to stop myself from becoming the 'quiet guy' in the room that isn't saying anything....


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2013)

Midnight said:


> You have to do it every now and again to gauge your progress. I hate socializing now and avoid it whenever possible, but I'm made to do it all the time.
> 
> To be 100% honest - socializing has not aided my DP/DR one bit. Socializing makes me withdraw into myself even more so than usual. If I am given some time alone I can normally regain a slight sense of self-confidence, but as soon as I see friends I have to force myself to talk just to stop myself from becoming the 'quiet guy' in the room that isn't saying anything....


^ I totally agree midnight. I still think it's important to socialise a little, and it is like a gauge huh?. I suppose what I should have said is, don't beat yourself up too much if mostly you want to be alone. However, humans are herding animals so it's very much an instinct for us to be around others, BUT sometimes it may be necessary to pull away from the herd and do some repair work on ourselves. That's ok in my books as long as you don't spent too long doing it. What's too long? Well, obviously decades is too long, but I think each and every one of us has to gauge that for ourselves&#8230;. I've been very isolated for about 3 years now and I honestly think I'm coming out the other end and now I find socialising quite easy and not so triggering anymore.. I guess I'm still just taking my time with it though.. slowly slowly.


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## Sike25 (Apr 30, 2012)

Thanks guys. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be social and it just makes it un natural. Ill pace myself.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

I know it's hard man. I mainly stopped going out because I felt underequipped to handle it anymore. My sense of humor got fucked up, I couldnt read body language anymore. DP/DR just disrupted everything. I struggled to make eye contact with people too, I would look into peoples eyes and get this sense of rising fear within me.

I just felt like an outcast from humanity... I rejected humanity wherever I could, in my head I basically wasn't human, just a machine, operating without emotions... on top of this I developed an intolerance for alcohol.. I sometimes think god enjoys fucking me for no reason.


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## buzzcutseason (Dec 2, 2013)

When in social situations, recognize the passing of time. If you're meeting with a coworker in front of the water cooler for 3-5 minutes and you spend your walk to the cooler worrying about how the conversation may go, realize that you have millions of minutes in your lifetime on this earth and just go with the flow of the conversation. No one is expecting anything from you in any social situation. No one is expecting you to be funny, or to talk at all really. No one will judge you for silence in such a small time frame like that. This can apply to even hanging out with friends in between classes too. You never have to say or act/ be anything. All you have to do to be "normal" (and in your reality anxiety-free) is go with the flow.


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