# too much alone?



## Elina (Jan 19, 2011)

I think that im too much alone. Ofcorse at work im whit my collegues, at home i have my family around me and i hang out whit friends at weekends. I rarely feel a need to be whit friends, some times i just do it because its something normal people do. I dont enjoy being whit friends as much as i should. Maby its because i cant for some reason totaly relax whit them. In the other hand im just soooooo boring pasive because i dont feel things like normal people feel, so i dont want to bore my friends whit my company.

Ofcourse since i´ve been a litle girl i have always spent much time alone and enjoyed it. But i use to like hanging out alot whit my best friend also. Now i dont enjoy being whit her that much. I used to enjoyed it sooo much and we were so close and loved each other company (in friendly way). But now i dont relly feel anything. When i look at other people i can see that they like to be whit friends and wants to hang out whit them and enjoys it, to me its nice and oukei...nothing more.. I remeber what it was like when i actuly enjoyed and wanted to be whit friend, i just cant reach that anymore...

I dont relly let myself even enjoy being alone because i think i should be more whit my friends, being alone this much is not normal... Normal people hangs out whit friens and likes it so i should too...

Does anybody else feel like this???? (sory for my bad english and several typos







)


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## Elina (Jan 19, 2011)

hahha.. wow i relly have many typos, well dont let it bother you


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## Elina (Jan 19, 2011)

Sory for sounding patethic but could someone reply to this topic, i would love to hear some comments???


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## Elina (Jan 19, 2011)

j4mtj said:


> Elina, this is something I've struggled with as well. I've always enjoyed being on my own even though I'm perfectly sociable when with people (small groups, not large gatherings). I've often wondered if this is my nature to be more of an introvert or if it's because of DP. I've had DP since I was a child but am now recovered. Even now though, I prefer to do things on my own. Some people would say that's not healthy but I don't know. I think as long as we have people in our lives that we interact with regularly like at work or living with family, it's ok not to want to socialize.


Thank you for answering







I can be also sociable when im in small familiar group or whit a friend and i have the energy to talk. I may seem some weird aloner but i do have some friends and family around me. But i just cant enjoy peoples company as much as before DP, at least i think i should enjoy it more. Well i cant generally speaking enjoy things as use to so maby it isnt any wonder that i cant enjoy peoples company...


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## Laura41 (May 30, 2011)

Hi Elina
I can totally understand what you are saying. I have struggled for YEARS criticizing myself because I spent too much time on my own. I think part of it is character - i am probably an introvert and they prefer their own company anyway - but it's also being so down on yourself that being sociable is just too much of an effort and you don't seem to fit in anywhere. I have worked through alot of my issues (with help) and it is only now that I am beginning to like myself more that I feel better in my OWN company (happier) - that's the important thing - and I believe that in time, because I feel better about myself, i will venture out more and be more sociable. BUT I will be able to be myself not something I think I should be which makes it all too stressful. I hope this helps. You are NOT alone. Kind regards .


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## Elina (Jan 19, 2011)

I as well criticize myself because of this, although i now that this is a part of my character has always been. But at least i have enjoyed being whit friends some amount.

One thing that bothers me alot is that my father has always been relly relly antisocial, intoverted and lack of feelings and just so so pasive person (btw he doesnt have dp, the thought has grossed my mind). His always been so distant person to us kids and to everybody and i have always thought that i dont ever want to be like him. Now im recognizing the same features on me!And i can see myself becoming like him. I just totaly hate it! Its hard to even respect my father because he just dont live his life and dont even try and he has no releationships exept to my mum... And when i see the same features on me, i just imagine how people will think the same way about me than i think about my father...


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

That's so weird, me too! I've always watched my dad wasting his life, being distant, grumpy, not having friends. I've been different always, but now I'm wondering if he was once like me, and having kids turned him into someone stuck between wanting to run off and live, and someone who needed to stay and take responsibility. And then just wasted away.. I also have a huge fear of becoming an alcoholic like my mother was, and fuck up my kids like she did. It's like I feel destined to be a failure and ruin everyones life.
I fear we have no control in life, and some day we just turn out like adults we never wanted to be. Terrifying.


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## Elina (Jan 19, 2011)

I´ve always thought that i remind alot my father on my personality, but since i´ve been litle i´ve determind i wont turn up like him. But now i just fear that i cant do anything about it or have the strenght to make a difference..


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

Thanks for your thoughts. I can relate, and I've been thinking recently about how much time I spend alone. A lot of hours each day are me being by myself, doing work or just hanging out, and I wonder if it has any impact on my dp. My most recent therapist told me that I have a lot of social anxiety, and also thought that my dp might be related to my divorce, so it makes sense that I would avoid social situations and close relationships, which I've tended to do in the last few years. But it definitely helps me to get out around other people, even when I don't want to. I got to go camping with friends this weekend, and, even though I had the dp numbness and sense of myself detached from the whole scene, it seemed like some of the fun and love of being with them trickled deeper than it would have a couple of years ago. Good sign, I hope.


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