# Does anyone miss there childhood self?



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

For this past week I keep having thoughts about how I used to be as a child, I keep looking at old photos before 13, crying over the self that I lost. I miss my personality, my spunkiness, my attitude i ised to have, everything about myself that im just not today. Does anyone else feel the same way?


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

The more you live in the past or future, the less you live.


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## Justinian585 (Dec 4, 2012)

In a sense I can relate. For me however, it's not my childhood self, but my self immediately prior to becoming DP'd. I was listening to a song a few minutes ago that I constantly had on replay for weeks just shortly before I inherited this "disorder" and it filled me with so many sentimental emotions of regret and disappointment in myself. Basically I just wish I could go back in time two weeks before I came into depersonalization and prevent it from happening. I was really at a crossroads in my life. One road led to (or increased, rather) happiness and success, while the one I chose led to this.

But my childhood? Nah, fuck that. I'm happy enough where I am in life. It's a new adventure that I'm just now starting to figure out. I'm intrigued.


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## UnrecognizedWorld (Jul 19, 2013)

Yeah I do the same thing; but more with memories about how I use to feel about things and how now those very things I see completely different. I don't think it's that I miss my childhood as much as I miss the free spirited confidence about everything that I had towards life when I was a child. Which, I guess could be the same thing as what you're saying. I used to wake up happy to explore the new day and find out what it would offer but now my first morning thoughts are consumed by how bad will I be affected today and what should I avoid to keep myself from freaking out. I guess pictures just remind you of those "unprisoned" times and that's why they're so drawing.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Yes that's exactly what I mean...missing the free spirited fully integrated personhood we once had


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## seafoamwinterz (Aug 12, 2013)

Nah, I think our childhoods caused it


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## Mebeingme (Aug 27, 2013)

I know what you mean Missjess! 
For me it's not childhood but my twenties and thirties. During the prime of life. When I was oblivious to everything I now know. When I was at the top of everything I seemed to do. Life was easier, full of adventure, focused.
I would trade anything in the world to feel free again!


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## scaredofdpdhelp (Jul 17, 2013)

Everything you said is exactly what i feel most of my days.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

seafoamwinterz said:


> Nah, I think our childhoods caused it


Well yes I know that but I was saying I miss the self that I had before anything affected me when I was free...surely you remember a time when you felt free and alive.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

scaredofdpdhelp said:


> Everything you said is exactly what i feel most of my days.


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