# Depersonalization and being a Hypochondriac



## WalkowD (Feb 9, 2014)

I've never been formally diagnosed with depersonalization, I just thought that everyone's experiences on here sounded a lot like mine, and that's how I arrived at the conclusion. Before I came to the thought that it must all be "in my head", I went to the neurologist to see if there was a physical reason for why I feel this way. At the time I was having hand tremors, muscle twitching, and other miscellaneous symptoms. He ran a lot of blood tests and found I have Celiac disease, and matching vitamin and mineral deficiencies. My EEG and MRI turned out normal, so it made sense that I could just accept what he had found an move on, after all I was terrified of ALS or MS but the EEG and MRI cleared me for that.

Now I have not been eating a gluten-free diet, living on a college campus on a meal plan is not necessarily conducive to eating on a restricted diet. But recently I thought that my psychological symptoms were getting worse, even though I am now seeing a psychologist. I researched some basic symptoms, the worst thing someone with hypochondrial thoughts can do, and immediately became terrified that I am afflicted with a different disease, Huntington's Disease. 97% - 99% of people with Huntington's disease have a family history of it somewhere, and I do not. However, I constantly feel that I am the 1% - 3% unlucky enough to be diagnosed. Admittedly, a lot of symptoms of typical Huntington's disease do not fit, (I can think an reason pretty well, and I don't think my behavior has shown drastic changes), the twitching has returned and can be pretty bad right before I am going to sleep, although I have heard that is normal.

Basically I feel so detached from the world, I find it hard to believe that my MRI and EEG could have come back normal, it feels like there is something physically wrong. While the negative EEG and MRI should give me relief, I recently read that some scans conducted too early into the course of the disease will read negative results. I try to comfort myself with the fact that my physical symptoms (like the twitching and weird hand positions) come and go, meaning they are very unlikely related to a disease that progressively worsens with no letting up. I honestly feel like shit, not to brag I'm sure there are some of you who have it even worse, and I'm having trouble believing that something that doesn't show up on medical tests can be causing me so much angst. My anxiety is at an all time high and I just feel so trapped. If anyone has advice about dealing with hypochodrial thoughts, or feeling similar to how I feel now, I would be forever grateful


----------



## WalkowD (Feb 9, 2014)

Also, with a disease like Huntington's that has a trademark of twitches and involuntary jerking movements, it's hard for me to discern what is voluntary or involuntary because I never feel truly in control of my actions.


----------



## Maryc1989 (Apr 8, 2014)

I also am a hypochandriac with DP. Just like you I have diagnosed myself with a thousand other things that this could be I think it's our brains way of trying to "reason" because we don't feel right. And the more I think about it the more it freaks me out and I feel trapped. It's very scary to go through but a lot of people on here tell me it gets better! Hang in there and remember those diseases are rare and anxiety can make life so hard and not easy to reason logically!


----------

