# Somebody help me before I kill myself. please......



## sundar1989 (May 15, 2017)

Ok so here it goes; I've been having a horrible time for a little over 2 years as I ventured in to spiritual matters and sort of lost my mind!(I've described in detail in my earlier post). Currently I am severely distressed beyond words and it's eating my head if I have dementia. I have the following symptoms
1. huge memory loss; can't remember much of day to day events and my life in general(eg movie names,places,conversations)
2. not able to understand and comprehend things properly. especially reading material.
3. Too many deja vus
4. I have cerebral atrophy; brain shrinkage according to my MRI
5. depressed mood, feeling unreal and spaced out.
6. being hyper aware of what's happening to me
7. speech and language difficulties with having forgotten lot of words and their meanings
8. feeling very retarded and as If I got no brains at all
9. tremors, twitches and muscle jerks
10. different breathing patterns

Help people. 
God help us all.


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## Kiwi89 (Mar 31, 2017)

I'm so sorry man, hang in there things will absolutely get better, it just needs to calm down on its own but it will. What did they say the cause of the cerebral atrophy was?


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## dope (Aug 31, 2016)

I'm sorry man...any help you need don't hesitate in pm'ing me, and also please don't kill yourself, it's not worth it. There's so much more to life than this. Believe me, it's true.


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## Mirato (Jul 30, 2017)

Sundar I'm sorry that you are suffering. I know how horrible some these experiences can be. You are stronger than this and things will definitely get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

For now surrender to the experience. It's happening now but it won't be like this forever. You will recover like everybody else!


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## M1k3y (Sep 19, 2016)

id suggest some medicine man, i was spazzing tf out, and a couple of weeks on it, it help me get back on my feet, made my brain calm down, id go to a physcastist


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## sundar1989 (May 15, 2017)

thanks guys....I really appreciate your responses and support...they are not exactly sure as to why there is cerebral atrophy. They say one can't quantify with a mere atrophy alone. Maybe it's all part of the whole dp and stress picture.


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## dope (Aug 31, 2016)

sundar1989 said:


> thanks guys....I really appreciate your responses and support...they are not exactly sure as to why there is cerebral atrophy. They say one can't quantify with a mere atrophy alone. Maybe it's all part of the whole dp and stress picture.


I'm not sure what cerebral atrophy is, but if you're really feeling that bad I'd recommend you'd speak to a doctor. After all they can help you more than we can; In the meantime, try meditation! It's very good.


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## Amina_x (Nov 22, 2014)

Suicide is always preventable.

I would suggest calling the suicide hotline if you are thinking about it.

Remember your family, remember that you want to be a part of their life.

Think about the people who need you, people you have met and have not met.

Suicide should not feel like it is creating peace for yourself or others, it only makes things worse.

There will no longer being a you on Earth, you won't be able to change the world like you have the potential of doing.

- Some things I realized right after taking 100 sleeping pills. Yes I survived but more importantly I learned from it.


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## willbarwa (Aug 26, 2017)

Your current condition sounds really bad.
In your case I would immediately do the following brain scan analyses:

EEG
Mri
Pet scan

And also check for:
Dopamine and Serotonin levels
Cortisol and Adrenaline (endocronologist)

Dopamine-norepenephrine-eponephrine conversion

Temporal lobe abnormalities
Vitamin deficiency
Inflammation to certain foods

Also you might need a therapist. Therapy should provide some help.

I would recommend a daily dose of 2000mg of Inositol, most drug stores sell them at 500mg, that means 2 pills in the morning/afternoon and 2 pills at night, equaling 2000mg.

Also a daily dose of 500mg of magnesium. Just once.

And at least 200mg of Phosphatidylserine three times a day. 
(avoid phosphatidylcholine)

Hopefully these supplements will alleviate some of the anxiety as Im sure this is whats eating you up the most right now.

Have you considered you may have another ailment beside DP? (it's possible)

Do you masturbate? 
If so, cut it out completely, inclusing sex. You need all the vitality and zinc possible to stay in your body.

Some may not agree with me about the masturbation thing but please, honestly, at this point let's expand the possibilities and give abstination a chance.

Lastly, you are not going insane. Insanity doesnt know it is insanity. Your hormones are out of whack rigjt now, and these disturning thoughts are invading your mind.

In regards to the supplements, be sure you are not allergic to any of it, althougb im sure you wont be. Im not a doctor nkr any type of specialist, so these are just tips, not professional advice.

Take care and please stay here. You are as real as the person writing this right now.


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

> Your current condition sounds really bad.
> In your case I would immediately do the following brain scan analyses:
> 
> EEG
> ...


EEG and MRI are meaningful, although in almost all cases they will be negative. At this time PET and other functional neuroimaging has for the most part only academic value, but no real diagnostic use.



> Some may not agree with me about the masturbation thing but please, honestly, at this point let's expand the possibilities and give abstination a chance.


There is a movement that thinks that excessive masturbation can cause mental disorders. But for me it's difficult to believe this, because it's something most men do. If this was true, we would already know it.


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## dpsucks (Sep 7, 2012)

TDX said:


> EEG and MRI are meaningful, although in almost all cases they will be negative. At this time PET and other functional neuroimaging has for the most part only academic value, but no real diagnostic use.


 In almost all cases of what?


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

> In almost all cases of what?


Of depersonalization disorder and generally in most mental disorders.


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## Hartigan (Aug 22, 2017)

What's your dopamine levels?

Low dopamine levels can definitely cause DP. Low dopamine = depression = DP.

Low dopamine levels are extremely common if you have ADD/ADHD or some sort of addiction such as masturbating too much.


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

Hartigan said:


> What's your dopamine levels?
> 
> Low dopamine levels can definitely cause DP. Low dopamine = depression = DP.
> 
> Low dopamine levels are extremely common if you have ADD/ADHD or some sort of addiction such as masturbating too much.


What medicines raise dopamine? I had a neurotransmitters test done and my dopamine was low


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## Hartigan (Aug 22, 2017)

HopingCat36 said:


> What medicines raise dopamine? I had a neurotransmitters test done and my dopamine was low


Bupropion


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## sundar1989 (May 15, 2017)

Hello guys....Good Day to you all.....im alive still yes....How are you all? Hows your road to recovery coming along? I really am not able to comment much about mine for thats how it is...im fighting.....but im kind of close to pushing the red button to drop dead.!!!! ... And guys, yes i guess i have a fucked up dopamine level......my previous treating neuropsychiatrist was an absolute asshole who put me on 5 tranquilizers all at once(Loxapine 10mg, loxapine 50 mg, lurasidone 40(2 no.s)) alongwith just buproprion 150 for a period of 6-7 months..... I have absolutely no clue what happened during that phase....I was in a drug induced semi coma as i would put it....I kept telling that bastard Im not reacting well to these meds so much t o the extent that I couldnt eat, drink, talk or even breathe normally...And those meds completely obliterated my cognitive abilities; I couldnt read, understand written material, things that people speak to me, my native language as well as english, would forget what i had thought about a sec ago, couldnt speak and form simple sentences and so on and so forth. .I couldnt even excrete for days together, believe me?!!....but on the contrary, instead of reducing or changing the meds he kept increasing the dosage and asked me to continue on it for months together...Most of my problems are courtesy him; he had multiplied my problems for which i sought treatment .I really wish I was in the US, I would have won a multi illion dollar lawsuit surely. Anyways I then went to another Neurologist and reported all these to him alongwith my MRI, he ordered a PET FDG and a Trodat just for my satisfaction per se. The results were not great ofcourse, There was non specific hypometabolism in some regions but he had attributed that to "slowness of thought". Only when i showed the results of my PET to this filthy doc, I dont know he saw something in it and started reducing my doses of tranquilizers. Well that was the time I moved on to my current doc, who is a great man and the entire team who is attending to me is wonderful. He is the President elect of the international neuropsychiatric association. Im blessed atleast for now to be under his guidance, Im on an excellent combo of meds. Well some of my symptoms that Ive mentioned here are gone, but there are others....and as you guys would understand i obsess about a lot of things that are actually no more there....that was the kind of effect of those drugs....I guess taking heroin would have been much safer than those meds. Presently, I have Cerebral atrophy which im sure has been contributed due to those devastating drugs and ive had brain damage.....not sure if im gonna make it alive, i feel it! I feel like Im demented and almost every second i think and relate things to dementis even though my docs say im not and the atrophy is only adding to my woes, ofcourse im freaked out.. I really dont know what to do....im just FUCKED...royally!! Wanna hear a great humorous paradox? "Well, I would be happy if im just......Depressed"...But....as Sir Michael Caine would say

"I shall not go gentle in to the good night"

Peace...Love to all....If I am gone, remember me as someone who fought bravely!


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## willbarwa (Aug 26, 2017)

TDX said:


> EEG and MRI are meaningful, although in almost all cases they will be negative. At this time PET and other functional neuroimaging has for the most part only academic value, but no real diagnostic use.
> 
> There is a movement that thinks that excessive masturbation can cause mental disorders. But for me it's difficult to believe this, because it's something most men do. If this was true, we would already know it.


I would not be surprised. Anything in excess is not good. When you masturbate you release a lot of vitamins, especially Zinc which is a very important mineral for the brain. Just try and dont give up the first few days. Eastern medicine talks a lot about masturbation and many other ancient dotrines and philosophies say the same.

We live in a society that relies too much, sometimes, on the empirical evidence. What do you have to lose? Look up the benefits of nofap, you will be amazed. Personally I dont rely much on western medicine.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm speaking from experience that dp is 100% curable.

I read your list of symptoms and I remember HAVING them, but I honest to god can't seem to experience them now. (Not that anyone who is recovered should try to! Please do not tempt fate!).

You're suicidal over something that is totally curable. That's the tragedy.

Hope that helps.


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## sundar1989 (May 15, 2017)

Thanks a lot guys...I really appreciate your help...the atrophy part is really scaring me and pissing me off...any help and insights on the same would be extremely helpful. Peace.


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

person3, can you please do an in depth report of what you did to recover. i believe you, but please help.


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## Cheffy (Dec 3, 2017)

hi, person3 is so right. dp is curable. my dp was cured 20 years ago but just going on with life and eating healthy.

i just had it again 6 weeks ago. the trigger? same thing that did 20 years ago which was dieting that my body cant handle.

now i realize i am never going to diet at all costs. i am in the process of recovering again... 70% 6 weeks ago i felt like im going crazy - like my mind isn't working even when i have thoughts.

please hang on and most important NUTURE your BRAIN with NUTRIENTS.

- carbdohydrates from clean carbs like rice. take carbdohydrates in grams your ideal weight in pounds. e.g. 100 pounds = 100 grams carbs

- regular meals breakfast, lunch after 6 hours, heavier dinner after 6 hours, a very small snack if way past your bedtime

- clean protein steamed fish - at least 40 grams

- lots of boiled veggies

- 2x a week of egg yolk from pasteur fed chickens

- avoid alcohol
- avoid deserts

hope this helps


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