# Panic Attacks -Should I go to ER?



## ValleyGirl

I have been really struggling with panic attacks since August. They keep coming in waves. I will be ok for a few days, even a week or two and then they hit again. Long story short I can't take antidepressants. I've tried tons of medication since getting dp and it all makes my symptoms worse. I went to my DR two months ago and he refused to give me any benzos. He said to call a psychiatrist. I have been calling every one that accepts my insurance for 2 months. I don't even get a return call from most of them. The earliest appointment I can get is February.
I have been having a lot of panic attacks every day and they are worse at night. I go to school full time and have been missing class because I'm up half the night panicking and can't get up in time for school. I had to go to the ER a month amd a half ago to get some klonopin. They only give 10 pills. I am thinking of going back but am afraid that they will blow me off this time. I know they don't look kindly on people showing up repeatedly looking for pills. I just don't know what else to do. I bought some Bachs rescue remedy but it's not strong enough. I have tried Diphenhydramine but it knocks me out for very long periods of time. I have to be able to function during the day. Advice?


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## Idris

Most doctors are very reluctant to give out benzos and for good reason. I see a psychiatrist and even she won't provide them to me and I have panic attacks as much as you do. I don't know where you're from, I'm in Canada and I would suggest the ER since they usually have a psychiatrist on call there. Tell them that until you find a psychiatrist what could they offer. They may have resources. 
I would suggest in the meantime too, to try and find a psychotherapist first and for the longterm. Therapy is the best way to approach anxiety and learn other skills to deal with it because benzo's should never really be a solution. They don't fix the problem, if anything they make it worse when you don't have any.


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## Cameron123

This may sound ignorant and mean, but as a recovered anxiety sufferer I can say that therapy and meds are simply a way to "get through" the anxiety instead of actually getting rid of it for good. I have spent thousands of dollars on meds, therapies, books, etc over a period of years which ultimately did nothing for me in the long run. Again, this may sound mean and even hard to beleive but the "FUCK IT!" attitude is what works best. Learn how anxiety and the brain work and you will see how silly it really is. So just say "FUCK YOU ANXIETY! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!" (similar to the way you deal with DP). Good luck.


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## Guest

Therapy should obviously be the first option, but I've had a good experience with a benzo so don't completely disregard them. If it weren't for mine (diazepam) then I would probably still be getting them every day.

It is EXTREMELY important to take them correctly though. When I first started them, I was told to take two a day. Basically, it messed me up. I would spend my day so knocked out I couldn't feel anything so after a week or so the doctor's guidelines got shoved up their ass and I took my them as and when I needed them. If I was anxious, I didn't take them. If I was knew a panic attack was coming, I took half of my 5mg dosage only if I feel I couldn't handle it myself, and I did push myself through many to make sure I never got addicted. With my system I probably started out having 5 of the lowest dose a week because that is how often the attacks were coming, but as soon as I felt like they were becoming less frequent, I pushed myself to not take the pills even more. I would then have three or so month, three or so every 6 months, until I eventually got no panic attacks at all, barely any anxiety, and because I was always on 2.5 or 5mg doses and I didn't take them enough, I never had withdrawal symptoms. I left the packet in a drawer somewhere and often forgot where it was!

I started getting panic attacks and generalised anxiety again after I quit some antidepressants, so I brought diazepam back into the picture and started doing the same thing. I still have the same reaction with 2.5mg that I did at the very start. I now take probably a couple a week at most, but again, I am finding I need them less and less.

So as long as you use them as a last resort and not as your coping strategy, then you can get over PAs with the aid (but mostly without) of benzos.


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## ValleyGirl

Thanks for the replies everyone. I have had GAD my entire life (had an ulcer by age 7 from worrying). I have had panic attacks since I was 9. I have been in counseling many times and it never helped. I stopped trying to even talk about my fears because the one thing I have severe panic attacks about is the one thing no one can stop (death). I cannot even talk about it outloud because I come unglued. Just writing this I have adrenaline shooting through my body. All I was ever told in counseling was not to worry because it's not something I have to face for a long time. Well I never want to face it and it terrifies me that there's nothing I can do to stop it.
Ok I have to stop now because I'm on the verge of another attack. My point is, I've learned the distraction stuff, the breathing stuff and none of it helps. I sit in bed all night trying to keep myself from taking off running around the house. Sometimes I can't control it and I will bolt across the room or jump up and down and whimper. My kids have seen it a few times and it scares them. So I try my best to internalize it.

I have been on benzos before. I was on klonopin daily for a year at the beginning of dp and it was the only thing that allowed me to function. I weaned myself off and went 2 years without needing it. I had no panic because everything was still unreal to me including death. I just didn't care. But a lot has happened in my life in the past couple of years and now that I've recovered to the point that fears are real to me again, I am in agony. I cannot accept death. I am divorced and have no friends or family where I live. I live alone with my 3 kids and that really screws with me. I never feel safe. Ever. I cannot remember the last time I felt safe. I feel completely alone. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. My family unit fell apart while I had dp (mom and dad got divorced, mom went crazy and cut me out of her life without telling me why, the rest of my family lives hours away and we are just recently on speaking terms). I grew up with this sense of security and safety in my family unit. Even as an adult I could go back to my parents house and feel loved, safe, and protected. That is gone. There is not a place on earth where I can go to feel that way and that, quite frankly, screws with my head a lot lately.
So really, I do feel like I need benzos to cope with all of this. I have no physical control over these attacks. I am not interested in ever being addicted to them. I don't want to have to take them. I have taken 10 pills in the past 2 years. But I am suffering right now and I have to be able to live my life. I can't be up half the night freaking out when I have to get my kids up for school, go to school myself, take care of the house, cook, and care for 3 kids by myself. I wish that I could will it away but it's just not that easy. I have been living with these horrible attacks for 20 years.


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## Guest

Aww ValleyGirl I am so sorry to hear the things you have been through.







you certainly are a strong person and you can quit obviously get through these because you have done so before. I think meds are needed in severe cases of anxiety and yours is. I think they would at least take the edge off.

As for fearing death, in have experienced the same fear, recently especially! But one thought has always made me feel better: what if life was forever, what if you could never ever escape this thing called life and you would never know what it was either. It never ended. You went to sleep, and you knew you were going to wake up the next day, the day after, and every single day after that. You had no choice.
That, to me, sounds a lot more horrific. If we think we are trapped now by having to inevitably die one day, flip it around and imagine if we never did. Life would be a prison!
We do have a lot of choices with life and death. We can try and prolong it as much as possible if we want to, or we can end it tomorrow. Or, we can just let nature take its course and when we go, we go.
I think it's at least nice to think that we are not taking up space for other animals/beings to thrive.


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## Guest

12.5 to 25mg quetiapine at night. and Try a 10 mg of Lexapro (SSRI) daytime.


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