# The Work - for helping with anxiety and DP



## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

Hello, 
now, I have to admit, I feel quite stressed writing this. I'm SO invested in wanting to change things around here. According to Byron Katie, I'm in the business of other people. I'm looking at the number of hopeless, helpless, depressed, suicidal, addicted and desperate people on here, WISHING to my heart's content...or frustration....that you would all have a serious attempt at doing The Work. This is an attachment, clearly. I just think that people on here so far have completely rejected The Work when I have introduced it, and not actually explored if it could help them.

I'm doing The Work more now. I found out about it earlier this year and it has taken quite a while for it to "settle in" to my life, for me to really think it is worth spending the time doing it.

I've read Loving What is, I Need Your Love - Is It True, and A Thousand Names for Joy. I've given books to several people out of my own money and for the last few months, told everyone I have met about it. I've posted it on Facebook, and even started a group on there. I was thinking of going to the School for The Work, but it would cost a lot of money, about half of my inheritance in total, and I don't think it is the best idea. So I'd decided to do The Work every day for an hour, for several months, and see if I am still doing it next year...I may CONSIDER going to Los Angeles or Spain to the 9-day School for The Work, which in any case, probably is worth it since after hotal charges, one is paying only a hundred a day or two....which isn't bad considering many healing therapies cost 50 quid and hour ....and I've already had spiritual healing and psychotherapy. They helped a bit, but I have more faith in The Work now than anything else, to be honest....it is the same for MANY other people. I know this sounds utterly fanatical, but I really hope you have a look at it to see what I mean, perhaps on Youtube or www.thework.com

There are LOADS of people strongly getting into this technique to heal depression, anxiety, even somatic pain. It's been used in people with PTSD, incest victims, people in war zones, murderers and rapists, concerned parents and people with family feuds. It is amazing!

Ok, so now I've come across as a complete idiot....can I just say one last thing....

I've signed up to the website to do The Work on there. It's pretty good, and costs 27 American dollars for 3 months.....it saves all your statements and helps you do a lot of The Work in one session....without having to faff around with bits of paper.

That's extra good for me, since I tend to worry people will find my old diaries and it could be embarassing!

I am so bloddy enthusiastic about The Work, that I'll sponsor some people to do it, if they are completely strapped for cash and think they'll use the utility or perhaps would like to read one of her books, I'll pay for it and send it over Amazon. I doubt anyone is that poor on here, but if you are, then I'd happily pay for it (up to a point obviously). I've set a little budget of 100 quid for this purpose.

Yours sincerely
Rozanne


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I did not know what the hell you where talking about.

I will follow your link.

Just hold on. Nobody has read every post.

If you just start talking about The Work and we don't know what you are talking about you get kind of ignored.
Don't take it personally.


> now, I have to admit, I feel quite stressed writing this. I'm SO invested in wanting to change things around here.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I just looked at the link.

It looks healthy enough.

It?s ultimately about making money.

That does not mean there are not lots of helpful things in it.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

I'd be interesting in an audio book, because then I won't have to re-read what I have already read because I keep forgetting, I'd be able to listen to it in my bath. Do they do a audio book/e-book?


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> I'd be interesting in an audio book, because then I won't have to re-read what I have already read because I keep forgetting, I'd be able to listen to it in my bath. Do they do a audio book/e-book?


Cool avatar thing Mr Puppet.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

Thank you. It's my old one, it needs re-editting again because of the "Maximum dimensions" ( width: 100 pixels, height: 100 pixels)

This is what it "should" look like.










I'm downloading the gif. editor (again), i'll make you something if you like.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Make me something please!!!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

There is lots of stuff in here that can help people get throught they way they think about DPD.

Just don't spend any money on a new way of saying "life is what you make of it"

http://www.thework.com/downloads/Little Book.pdf

An excerpt from Loving What Is Four questions that can change your life by Byron Katie, with Stephen Mitchell ?No one can give you freedom but you. This little booklet will show you how.? ?Byron Katie This booklet is an excerpt from Loving What Is. Each year, tens of thousands of these booklets in hard copy are sent by request around the world, helping people discover the life-changing power of The Work at no charge.
If you would like to explore this process further, we suggest you ask for Loving What Is wherever books are sold. The book version will take you deeper into The Work, and includes numerous examples of Katie facilitating others on issues such as fear, health, relationships, money, the body, and more. Loving What Is is also available as an audiobook, which offers you the invaluable experience of hearing Katie do The Work in live workshop recordings. The book and the audiobook are available on our official web site as well, www.thework.com, or they can be ordered by calling 1-800-98-KATIE.
Introduction
The Work of Byron Katie is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all of the suffering in the world. It is a way to find peace with yourself and with the world. The old, the young, the sick, the well, the educated, the uneducated?anyone with an open mind can do this Work. Byron Kathleen Reid became severely depressed while in her thirties. Over a ten-year period her depression deepened, and Katie (as she is called) spent almost two years rarely able to leave her bed, obsessing over suicide. Then one morning, from the depths of despair, she experienced a life-changing realization.
Katie saw that when she believed that something should be different than it is (?My husband should love me more,? ?My children should appreciate me,?) she suffered, and that when she didn?t believe these thoughts, she felt peace. She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but what she believed about the world around her. In a flash of insight, Katie saw that our attempt to find happiness was backward?instead of
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hopelessly trying to change the world to match our thoughts about how it ?should? be, we can question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. Katie developed a simple yet powerful method of inquiry, called The Work, that made this transformation practical. As a result, a bed-ridden, suicidal woman became filled with love for everything life brings. Katie?s insight into the mind is consistent with leading-edge research in cognitive psychology, and The Work has been compared to the Socratic dialogue, Buddhist teachings, and 12-step programs. But Katie developed her method without any knowledge of religion or psychology. The Work is based purely on one woman?s direct experience of how suffering is created and ended. It is astonishingly simple, accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds, and requires nothing more than a pen and paper and an open mind. Katie saw right away that giving people her insights or answers was of little value?instead, she offers a process that can give people their own answers. The first people exposed to her Work reported that the experience was transformational, and she soon began receiving invitations to teach the process publicly.
Since 1986, Katie has introduced The Work to millions of people around the world. In addition to public events, she has introduced her Work into corporations, universities, schools, churches, prisons, and hospitals. Katie?s joy and humor immediately put people at ease, and the deep insights and breakthroughs that participants quickly experience make the events captivating (tissues are always close at hand). Since 1998, Katie has directed the School for The Work, a nine-day curriculum offered four times a year. The School is an approved provider of continuing education units, and many psychologists, counselors, and therapists report that The Work is becoming the most important part of their practice. Katie also hosts an annual New Year?s Mental Cleanse?a four-day program of continuous inquiry that takes place in southern California at the end of December?and she sometimes offers weekend workshops. Audio and video recordings of Katie facilitating The Work on a wide range of topics (sex, money, the body, parenting) are available at her events and on her web site, www.thework.com. In March 2002, Harmony Books published Katie?s first book, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, written with her husband, the distinguished writer Stephen Mitchell. Loving What Is has been translated into 22 languages. It was on bestseller lists across the country. I Need Your Love?Is That True?, written with Michael Katz, and A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are, written with Stephen Mitchell were also bestsellers. Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie was published in 2007, and Katie's latest book, Who Would You Be Without Your Story?, will be published in October 2008. Welcome to The Work.
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What Is Is
The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, ?Meow.? Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless. And yet, if you pay attention, you?ll notice that you think thoughts like this dozens of times a day. ?People should be kinder.? ?Children should be well-behaved.? ?My husband (or wife) should agree with me.? ?I should be thinner (or prettier or more successful).? These thoughts are ways of wanting reality to be different than it is. If you think that this sounds depressing, you?re right. All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is. People new to The Work often say to me, ?But it would be disempowering to stop my argument with reality. If I simply accept reality, I?ll become passive. I may even lose the desire to act.? I answer them with a question: ?Can you really know that that?s true?? Which is more empowering???I wish I hadn?t lost my job? or ?I lost my job; what can I do now?? The Work reveals that what you think shouldn?t have happened should have happened. It should have happened because it did, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn?t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle. No one wants their children to get sick, no one wants to be in a car accident; but when these things happen, how can it be helpful to mentally argue with them? We know better than to do that, yet we do it, because we don?t know how to stop. I am a lover of what is, not because I?m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don?t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.
Staying in Your Own Business
I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God?s. (For me, the word God means ?reality.? Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that?s out of my control, your control, and everyone else?s control, I call that God?s business.)
Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, ?You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on
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time, you need to take better care of yourself,? I am in your business. When I?m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God?s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God?s business, the effect is separation. I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother?s business, for example, with a thought like ?My mother should understand me,? I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else?s business. If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We?re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn?t work. To think that I know what?s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what?s right for myself? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you. If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it could free your life in a way that you can?t even imagine. The next time you?re feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you?re in mentally, and you may burst out laughing! That question can bring you back to yourself. And you may come to see that you?ve never really been present, that you?ve been mentally living in other people?s business all your life. Just to notice that you?re in someone else?s business can bring you back to your own wonderful self. And if you practice it for a while, you may come to see that you don?t have any business either and that your life runs perfectly well on its own.
Meeting Your Thoughts with Understanding
A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It is not our thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it?s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we?ve been attaching to, often for years. Most people think that they are what their thoughts tell them they are. One day I noticed that I wasn?t breathing?I was being breathed. Then I also noticed, to my amazement, that I wasn?t thinking?that I was actually being thought and that thinking isn?t personal. Do you wake up in the morning and say to yourself, ?I think I won?t think today?? It?s too late: You?re already thinking! Thoughts just appear. They come out of nothing and go back to nothing, like clouds moving across the empty sky. They come to pass, not to stay. There is no harm in them until we attach to them as if they were true.
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No one has ever been able to control his thinking, although people may tell the story of how they have. I don?t let go of my thoughts?I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me. Thoughts are like the breeze or the leaves on the trees or the raindrops falling. They appear like that, and through inquiry we can make friends with them. Would you argue with a raindrop? Raindrops aren?t personal, and neither are thoughts. Once a painful concept is met with understanding, the next time it appears you may find it interesting. What used to be the nightmare is now just interesting. The next time it appears, you may find it funny. The next time, you may not even notice it. This is the power of loving what is.
Putting the Mind on Paper
The first step in The Work is to write down your judgments about any stressful situation in your life, past, present, or future?about a person you dislike or a situation with someone who angers or frightens or saddens you. (Use a blank sheet of paper; or you can go to www.thework.com to the section called ?The Work,? where you?ll find a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet to download and print.) For thousands of years, we have been taught not to judge?but let?s face it, we still do it all the time. The truth is that we all have judgments running in our heads. Through The Work we finally have permission to let those judgments speak out, or even scream out, on paper. We may find that even the most unpleasant thoughts can be met with unconditional love. I encourage you to write about someone whom you haven?t yet totally forgiven. This is the most powerful place to begin. Even if you?ve forgiven that person 99 percent, you aren?t free until your forgiveness is complete. The 1 percent you haven?t forgiven them is the very place where you?re stuck in all your other relationships (including your relationship with yourself). If you begin by pointing the finger of blame outward, then the focus isn?t on you. You can just let loose and be uncensored. We?re often quite sure about what other people need to do, how they should live, whom they should be with. We have 20/20 vision about others, but not about ourselves. When you do The Work, you see who you are by seeing who you think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside you is a reflection of your own thinking. You are the storyteller, the projector of all stories, and the world is the projected image of your thoughts.
Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn?t ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector?mind?rather than the projected. It?s like when there?s a piece of lint on a
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projector?s lens. We think there?s a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whomever the flaw appears to be on next. But it?s futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.
How to Write on the Worksheet
I invite you to be judgmental, harsh, childish, and petty. Write with the spontaneity of a child who is sad, angry, confused, or frightened. Don?t try to be wise, spiritual, or kind. This is the time to be totally honest and uncensored about how you feel. Allow your feelings to express themselves, without any fear of consequences or any threat of punishment. On the next page, you?ll find an example of a completed Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. I have written about my second husband, Paul, in this example (included here with his permission); these are the kinds of thoughts that I used to have about him before my life changed. As you read, you?re invited to replace Paul?s name with the appropriate name in your life. 1. Who angers, disappoints, or confuses you, and why? What is it about them that you don?t like? I am angry at Paul because he doesn?t listen to me. I?m angry at Paul because he doesn?t appreciate me. I don?t like Paul because he argues with everything I say. 2. How do you want them to change? What do you want them to do? I want Paul to give me his full attention. I want Paul to love me completely. I want Paul to agree with me. I want Paul to get more exercise. 3. What is it that they should or shouldn?t do, be, think, or feel? What advice could you offer? Paul shouldn?t watch so much television. Paul should stop smoking. Paul should tell me that he loves me. He shouldn?t ignore me. 4. Do you need anything from them? What do they need to do in order for you to be happy? I need Paul to listen to me. I need Paul to stop lying tome. I need Paul to share his feelings and be emotionally available. I need Paul to be gentle and kind and patient.
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5. What do you think of them? Make a list. (Remember, be petty and judgmental.) Paul is dishonest. Paul is reckless. Paul is childish. He thinks he doesn?t have to follow the rules. Paul is uncaring and unavailable. Paul is irresponsible. 6. What is it that you don?t want to experience with that person again? I don?t ever want to live with Paul if he doesn?t change. I don?t ever want to argue with Paul again. I don?t ever want to be lied to by Paul again.
Inquiry: The Four Questions and Turnaround
1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it?s true? 3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought? and Turn it around. Now, using the four questions, let?s investigate part of the first statement from number 1 on the example: Paul doesn?t listen to me. As you read along, think of someone you haven?t totally forgiven yet. 1. Is it true? Ask yourself, ?Is it true that Paul doesn?t listen to me?? Be still. If you really want to know the truth, the answer will rise to meet the question. Let the mind ask the question, and wait for the answer that surfaces. 2. Can you absolutely know that it?s true? Consider these questions: ?Can I absolutely know that it?s true that Paul doesn?t listen to me? Can I ever really know when someone is listening or not? Am I sometimes listening even when I appear not to be?? 3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? How do you react when you believe that Paul doesn?t listen to you? How you treat him? Make a list. For example: ?I give him ?the look.? I interrupt him. I punish him by not paying attention to him. I start talking faster and louder, and I try to force him to listen.? Continue making your list as you go inside, and see how you treat yourself in that situation and how that feels. ?I shut down. I isolate myself. I eat and sleep a lot, and I watch television for days. I feel depressed and lonely.? Notice all the effects of believing the thought Paul doesn?t listen to me.
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4. Who would you be without the thought? Now consider who you would be without the thought Paul doesn?t listen to me. Who would you be if you weren?t even capable of thinking that thought? Close your eyes and imagine Paul not listening to you. Imagine you don?t have the thought that Paul doesn?t listen (or that he even should listen). Take your time. Notice what is revealed to you. What do you see? How does that feel? Turn it around. The original statement, Paul doesn?t listen to me, when turned around, could become ?I don?t listen to Paul.? Is that as true or truer for you? Are you listening to Paul when you?re thinking about him not listening to you? Find three genuine examples of how this turnaround is true in your life. Another turnaround is ?I don?t listen to myself.? A third is ?Paul does listen to me.? For each turnaround you discover, find three genuine examples of how the turnaround is true in your life. After sitting with the turnarounds, you would continue a typical inquiry with the next statement written in number 1 on the Worksheet?Paul doesn?t appreciate me?and then with every other statement on the Worksheet.
Your Turn: The Worksheet
Now you know enough to try out The Work. First you?ll put your thoughts on paper. Simply pick a person or situation and write, using short, simple sentences. Remember to point the finger of blame or judgment outward. You may write
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from your present position or from your point of view as a five-year-old or twenty-five-year-old. Please do not write about yourself yet. 1) Who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why? What is it about them that you don?t like? (Remember: Be harsh, childish, and petty.) I don?t like (I am angry at, or saddened, frightened, confused, etc., by) (name) because _______. 2) How do you want them to change? What do you want them to do? I want (name) to _______. 3) What is it that they should or shouldn?t do, be, think, or feel? What advice could you offer? (Name) should (shouldn?t) _______. 4) Do you need anything from them? What do they need to do in order for you to be happy? (Pretend it?s your birthday and you can have anything you want. Go for it!) I need (name) to _______. 5) What do you think of them? Make a list. (Don?t be rational or kind.) (Name) is _______. 6) What is it that you don?t want to experience with that person again? I don?t ever want _______.
Your Turn: The Inquiry
One by one, put each statement on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet up against the four questions, and then turn around the statement you?re working on. (If you need help, refer back to the example on pages 7?8.) Throughout this process, explore being open to possibilities beyond what you think you know. There?s nothing more exciting than discovering the don?t-know mind. It?s like diving. Keep asking the question and wait. Let the answer find you. I call it the heart meeting the mind: the gentler polarity of mind (which I call the heart) meeting the polarity that is confused because it hasn?t been investigated. When the mind asks sincerely, the heart will respond. You may begin to experience revelations about yourself and your world, revelations that can transform your whole life, forever. Look at the first statement that you have written on number 1 of your Worksheet. Now ask yourself the following questions: 1. Is it true?
Reality, for me, is what is true. The truth is whatever is in front of you, whatever is really happening. Whether you like it or not, it?s raining now. ?It shouldn?t be raining? is just a thought. In reality, there is no such thing as a ?should? or a ?shouldn?t.? These are only thoughts that we impose onto reality. Without the
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?should? and ?shouldn?t,? we can see reality as it is, and this leaves us free to act efficiently, clearly, and sanely. When asking the first question, take your time. The Work is about discovering what is true from the deepest part of yourself. You are listening for your answers now, not other people?s, and not anything you have been taught. This can be very unsettling, because you?re entering the unknown. As you continue to dive deeper, allow the truth within you to rise and meet the question. Be gentle as you give yourself to inquiry. Let this experience have you completely. 2. Can you absolutely know that it?s true? If your answer to question 1 is yes, ask yourself, ?Can I absolutely know that it?s true?? In many cases, the statement appears to be true. Of course it does. Your concepts are based on a lifetime of uninvestigated beliefs. After I woke up to reality in 1986, I noticed many times how people, in conversations, the media, and books, made statements such as ?There isn?t enough understanding in the world,? ?There?s too much violence,? ?We should love one another more.? These were stories I used to believe, too. They seemed sensitive, kind, and caring, but as I heard them, I noticed that believing them caused stress and that they didn?t feel peaceful inside me. For instance, when I heard the story ?People should be more loving,? the question would arise in me ?Can I absolutely know that that?s true? Can I really know for myself, within myself, that people should be more loving? Even if the whole world tells me so, is it really true?? And to my amazement, when I listened within myself, I saw that the world is what it is?nothing more, nothing less. Where reality is concerned, there is no ?what should be.? There is only ?what is,? just the way it is, right now. The truth is prior to every story. And every story, prior to investigation, prevents us from seeing what?s true. Now I could finally inquire of every potentially uncomfortable story, ?Can I absolutely know that it?s true?? And the answer, like the question, was an experience: No. I would stand rooted in that answer?solitary, peaceful, free. How could no be the right answer? Everyone I knew, and all the books, said that the answer should be yes. But I came to see that the truth is itself and will not be dictated to by anyone. In the presence of that inner no, I came to see that the world is always as it should be, whether I opposed it or not. And I came to embrace reality with all my heart. I love the world, without any conditions. If your answer is still yes, good. If you think that you can absolutely know that that?s true, it?s always fine to move on to question 3.
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3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? With this question, we begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is an uneasy feeling, a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. After the four questions found me, I would notice thoughts like ?People should be more loving,? and I would see that they caused a feeling of uneasiness. I noticed that prior to the thought, there was peace. My mind was quiet and serene. This is who I am without my story. Then, in the stillness of awareness, I began to notice the feelings that came from believing or attaching to the thought. And in the stillness, I could see that if I were to believe the thought, the result would be a feeling of unease and sadness. When I asked, ?How do I react when I believe the thought that people should be more loving?? I saw that not only did I have an uncomfortable feeling (this was obvious), but I also reacted with mental pictures to prove that the thought was true. I flew off into a world that didn?t exist. I reacted by living in a stressed body, seeing everything through fearful eyes, a sleepwalker, someone in an endless nightmare. The remedy was simply to investigate. I love question 3. Once you answer it for yourself, once you see the cause and effect of a thought, all your suffering begins to unravel. 4. Who would you be without the thought? This is a very powerful question. Picture yourself standing in the presence of the person you have written about when they?re doing what you think they shouldn?t be doing. Now, just for a minute or two, close your eyes, and imagine who you would be if you couldn?t think this thought. How would your life be different in the same situation without this thought? Keep your eyes closed and watch them without your story. What do you see? How do you feel about them without the story? Which do you prefer?with or without your story? Which feels kinder? Which feels more peaceful? For many people, life without their story is literally unimaginable. They have no reference for it. So ?I don?t know? is a common answer to this question. Other people answer by saying, ?I?d be free,? ?I?d be peaceful,? ?I?d be a more loving person.? You could also say, ?I?d be clear enough to understand the situation and act efficiently.? Without our stories, we are not only able to act clearly and fearlessly; we are also a friend, a listener. We are people living happy lives. We are appreciation and gratitude that have become as natural as breath itself. Happiness is the natural state for someone who knows that there?s nothing to know and that we already have everything we need, right here now.
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Turn it around. To do the turnaround, rewrite your statement. First, write it as if it were written about you. Where you have written someone?s name, put yourself. Instead of ?he? or ?she,? put ?I.? For example, ?Paul should be kind to me? turns around to ?I should be kind to myself? and ?I should be kind to Paul.? Another type is a 180-degree turnaround to the extreme opposite: ?Paul shouldn?t be kind to me.? He shouldn?t be kind, because he isn?t (in my opinion). This isn?t an issue of morality but of what?s actually true. You may come to see three or four or more turnarounds in one sentence. Or there may be just one that feels true for you. Consider whether or not each turned-around statement is as true as or truer than your original statement. For example, the turnaround ?I should be kind to myself? does seem as true as or truer than the original statement, because when I think that Paul should be kind to me, I get angry and resentful, and I cause myself a lot of stress. This is not a kind thing to do. If I were kind to myself, I wouldn?t have to wait for kindness from others. ?I should be kind to Paul??that too is at least as true as the original statement. When I think that Paul should be kind to me and I get angry and resentful, I treat Paul very unkindly, especially in my mind. Let me begin with myself and act as I?d like Paul to act. As for ?Paul shouldn?t be kind to me,? that is certainly truer than its opposite. He shouldn?t be kind, because he isn?t. That?s the reality of it. The turnaround is a very powerful part of The Work. As long as you think that the cause of your problem is ?out there??as long as you think that anyone or anything else is responsible for your suffering?the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of the victim, that you?re suffering in paradise. So bring the truth home to yourself and begin to set yourself free. Inquiry combined with the turnaround is the fast track to self-realization.
The Turnaround for Number 6
The turnaround for statement number 6 on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is a bit different from the others. We change ?I don?t ever want to?? to ?I am willing to?? and ?I look forward to?.? For example, ?I don?t ever want to argue with Paul again? turns around to ?I am willing to argue with Paul again? and ?I look forward to arguing with Paul again.? This turnaround is about embracing all of life. Saying?and meaning??I am willing to?? creates openness, creativity, and flexibility. Any resistance that you may have is softened, allowing you to lighten up rather than keep hopelessly applying willpower or force to eradicate the situation from your life. Saying and meaning ?I look forward to?? actively opens you to life as it unfolds.
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It?s good to acknowledge that the same feelings or situation may happen again, if only in your thoughts. When you realize that suffering and discomfort are the call to inquiry, you may actually begin to look forward to uncomfortable feelings. You may even experience them as friends coming to show you what you have not yet investigated thoroughly enough. It?s no longer necessary to wait for people or situations to change in order to experience peace and harmony. The Work is the direct way to orchestrate your own happiness


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

Are you getting comission from Byron Katie Rozzane?...you should be .You cant buy the truth inside you ,its free its all right there already in you around you infront of you...youre made of it,are you for sale?
Everybody wants to buy christ and sell their souls these days............To many narcasistic spiritual "teachers"[coughs...charlatons] take a pick and pix of differant spiritual techniques call it something new like the work and sell it for profit....tell me Rozanne where does all this money go that Bryron katies disiples spend on her books and her courses and ect ect...shall i tell you.....on her big nice house with her outside swimming pool and her posh sports car and her luxery breaks at the health spa and god knows what else....does her money she rakes up from selling her soul go towards helping the suffering of the world.

There are people in this world starving,dying from disease that noone can afford to do research for...not enough hospital beds...i could go on.....I would rather give my cash to those people and have that generosity and commpassion as my biggest healers and my spirituality.....love its that simple,you cant buy it.

Sure I bet Byron katie isnt depressed or anxipus because she has money to fix everything from others suffering....she makes money out of other peoples suffering...god damn that.

DOES Byron Katie think about that when shes living the high life?...how constructive is she really.?.shes a self obsessed ego trip ....Im not having a go i just think youve been suckered in to because youre vunerable and would pay any ammount of cash to feel better like many here would....its criminal.

We have a mind,we can use it,we have a life we can learn from it,its really that simple....just treat everything you do and all your interactions as sacred truth.

Lynsey x.
[spirit]


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

> "The Work of Byron Katie is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all of the suffering in the world."


Ok well if we are going to pick in it I don't want to be left out.

The above hyperbolic statement is just the sort of thing that makes me nuts.

Are you sure Katie what you can stop all of the suffering in the world?

Can you help someone in the world about to starve to death, or being tortured or on fire?

Anyway, there is good stuff in there.

Stuff like this comes around every once in a while because common sense have been absent for our western culture for a bit.

Someone comes in and fills in the gap.

She's Dr. Phyllis. :wink: 
Just kidding.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

Mark said:


> Make me something please!!!


What's the first thing that comes to your mind apart from your children.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> Mark said:
> 
> 
> > Make me something please!!!
> ...


*Make me an astronaut in the year 2140. Please.*


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

I'll make you her/his/it's helmet/head.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Great.
Make me young again while you are at it.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

you don't have to spend any money on The Work. The 4 questions and turnaround method doesn't have to be bought. It is discussed freely on the internet site, and there are FREE videos on Youtube of people doing The Work.

The other thing I'd like to point out is that for many, The Work is a Spiritual process.

I don't 100pc believe that all my suffering can be healed by doing The Work, but I know from experience that it can reduce stress.

I would have to spend loads of money to be a facilitor of The Work, and I don't want to do that, so I'm not....but I believe that inquiry could help many of the World's problems, if people practised it in relationships. Perhaps not all the world's problems, but actually, quite a lot of them ARE effected by the inconsistencies in peoples' minds. For instance, people in Israel and Palestine have used The Work for conflict resolution in their communities. If more people used this process, I think the world would be a better place. Sorry to sound cheesy, but I believe in it.

The Work is thought to be the best form of cognitice therapy for people experiencing unexplained pain by pain specialist people at Stanford University.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Whatever works.

It's just fun to poke holes in the mystique that is created around these self help people.

A peaceful world would be if we all became self help gurus and made millions of dollars.

I always think that when I look at Tony Robbins.

Sure it must be great to be him.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

Okay I ghess the thing that annoys me is that it was buddha who taught about what thoughts cause suffering and what thoughts dont cause suffering......

Ive had only three hours sleep in what is two days now[hypomania] but when im more lucid I am going to read through it and see what the fuss and hype is because I cant as yet see what Byron Katie has brought to the table that other spiritual leaders/masters havnt.

The thing is we all have our own path I mean I beleive a mix and buddhism and paganism is the solution to the world finding sanity again and freedom from conditioned indoctrination and the pain that fundermentalism has caused/is causeing.

But i also beleive that just being true to ourselves can do that....without religion.

But I am glad that youve found something that you think is helping you. 

Take care.
Lynsey x.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

> I cant as yet see what Byron Katie has brought to the table that other spiritual leaders/masters havnt.


i agree. However we no nothing of these great masters. We no nothing at all.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

Which ones Mark....ghandi,buddha,jesus,etc?..we know a fair bit about them I think....but noone ever stops to ask the sun,the moon, the elements,the trees ...nature......or the stars anymore and theyve watched it all for thousands of years..


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I asked the grass once. It was a let down.

Ok I don't know anything about them.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2008)

....you did?.....was you flat on your face and drunk?...lol....nah the grass gets cut to often..


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

i don't like being a "work freak" but for the time being it is the thing I'm clinging onto since I find it does, really, help. i agree with a lot of the stuff you say Lyns, for instance about the truth not being able to be expressed in a philosophy, as it is too limited for it. Yet i also find that trying to open my mind to more wisdom is greatly useful for my attempt at being a more spiritual person, especially in how I am viewing people. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't meditate on the beings that people are, and just saw forms and figures flicking past my eyes, in the world, like I used to...judging everything and everyone by what use it could have for my ego. i used to feel very depressed due to feeling so separate from others, and now i realise it is all "part of the plan", my mind has a little less resistance to the way this reality is constructed.


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## Guest (Sep 28, 2008)

Mark said:


> Great.
> Make me young again while you are at it.


I need a good photo of you first (at least 300 dpi)

The gif. editor I downed had a trojan horse, so i'll get another soon... me's busy bee till Thursday, and i've started my new job too!


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