# i WANT BACK!



## ihavetomakethis (Dec 23, 2010)

Hey guys, been having this facking insane pain in the soul in the ass in the heart syndrom or wtf it is for 2 months now, i never been a sad guy or anything and i never taking pills or i never been anxoius or anything, tried weed and got panic AND NOW IM STUCK IN THIS FACKING SICK FOG OF RETARDNESS! Its make no sense?? even when i dont think about it i can feel it, when i move my body dosnt feel right, feels like im 100000000000 miles away and controlling it







, And if this is an self protection by the body its facking so retardless ever, i never been more sad or angry in my whole life then i got this shit. How do i get rid of it ? when its ALLWAYS there, its 24/7 straight! no break or whatso ever. I am doing everything i did before, i meet friends,i go there and there and here, i go to the gym i eat healthy... even what i do its still there and its been getting worse theese 3 days..really worse... its like im not even takling when im talking... theese last 3 days been the worst ever its like im there i talk, i make jokes, i do that, and still i feel nothing.. 2 hours later i can almost like " did i acctualy meet my friends?" or did i just made it up in my head?

PLEASE HELP, tell me what to do!. I cant live like this, my life isnt supposed to be like this...im not a anxious person or a sad dude, ive been happy and enjoying small things in life so much before this shit. Just to have something nice to eat could make the day for me, i love to eat food, ( no im not fat haha ) i just love to eat good food. Like now i dont enjoy anything cause i cant FEEL it, something is blocking it, like i can feel its there but the deperz is stoping me from to really FEEL and ENJOY life like i did before. When im in the gym lifting weights i cant feel a shit, or i can feel it but it dosnt feel right.

Please help, what more can i do? i am doing everything i just to do BEFORE this and still its not lettin grip of me.... just wanna puke at this condition


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## sethjohnson326 (Nov 25, 2010)

Hey, what you gotta do is not feed it fear, I know that sounds impossible, I today had one of the worst DR days in a while and then I realized Im just feeding it more and more fear which makes it worse. You just gotta say, Its just my DR and im fine and NOTHING HAS CHANGED. everything i still the way it was before I had DR or DP. Your gonna get through it, you just have to stop feeding it. goodluck.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

it may be that you can never go back.

some of us can make it and learn to find out what triggers their episodes and what makes them better.

others of us don't get better, but they get to know their state of mind so they can expect things to happen when they get into certain environments or circumstances, and so they can ignore it or learn to deal with it the right way.

you will have to find out what's your way. in any case, thats a process which takes a while. it's good that you dont shut yourself out from friends or even from going out. you have to stay active, confront yourself even with difficult situations so you learn how to get better. dont give up hope, and know that you are the one who has the power, only you.


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## ihavetomakethis (Dec 23, 2010)

Thank you for your reply







i have to find my own way, even if its really hard atm :/, and Foxs dont ever write " it may be that you can never go back" thats not anything you want to here







, anyway i bought some stuffs and im drinking 5 liters of water per day, doing omega 3 and stuff like that. dosnt help a shit but wtf why not ? 
well times are hard atm ..really hard but ... after rain it comes sun right?


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## TheStarter (Oct 19, 2010)

FoXS said:


> it may be that you can never go back.
> 
> some of us can make it and learn to find out what triggers their episodes and what makes them better.
> 
> ...


This has probably been the most demotivating post i've read on this forum.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I think the important thing to realize about dp/dr is that it's just like being drunk or high. Reality hasn't gone anywhere. You are in the middle of it but you are intoxicated on brain chemicals. You are still the same person, you and the world haven't changed. It's just the chemicals in your brain. The dp will go away in the same way that a high will. It will slowly fade until you sober up, look around, and realize that you're not high anymore. You haven't lost reality. It didn't go anywhere and you don't have to do any work to "find it" again. Just try to relax and know that the high will pass and you will be better.


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## ihavetomakethis (Dec 23, 2010)

Thank you ustabetinyfairypeople amd j4mtj for good replys. My life kind took a big turn .... I do everything i did before but because im so lost and unaware its not fun, i can be with my friends whole day and then when i come home its like it never happend. The joy in life is gone :/, i feel outside my body like im not connected with it. also it feels wierd to speak, like words I feel confused in some situations but i allways mask it 100 % and ppl think im the same person...but inside im totaly burning....... also having that fear of getting scitzo...... and that is :S:S, cause it feels like im doing things but i havent done them when i get home anyway...
now im going to an party even if i have dp i will go. Also have hypnagogia i found out..... And guys an question.. do you have like music in your head/thoughts?. I have music while im at the computer or like when im not doing anything really active...facking sucks drives me little insane sometimes but i manage it in someway...that also + the fear of scitzo once again..............fml

I just hope this shit will be gone soon, so i can continune with my life... feels like my life is on stand by...

Anyway Happy new year!! hope that dp/dr just fades away and never come back for all of you in this forum!

Much love ! / Ihavetomakethis


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

ihavetomakethis said:


> Thank you ustabetinyfairypeople amd j4mtj for good replys. My life kind took a big turn .... I do everything i did before but because im so lost and unaware its not fun, i can be with my friends whole day and then when i come home its like it never happend. The joy in life is gone :/, i feel outside my body like im not connected with it. also it feels wierd to speak, like words I feel confused in some situations but i allways mask it 100 % and ppl think im the same person...but inside im totaly burning....... also having that fear of getting scitzo...... and that is :S:S, cause it feels like im doing things but i havent done them when i get home anyway...
> now im going to an party even if i have dp i will go. Also have hypnagogia i found out..... And guys an question.. do you have like music in your head/thoughts?. I have music while im at the computer or like when im not doing anything really active...facking sucks drives me little insane sometimes but i manage it in someway...that also + the fear of scitzo once again..............fml
> 
> I just hope this shit will be gone soon, so i can continune with my life... feels like my life is on stand by...
> ...


I used to hear music quite a bit. Well not hear it, but as you said in your head and the song kind of gets stuck in there? Like it'll be the most annoying song in a supermarket and all of sudden its stuck in my head. I think its a sign of stress i don't get it too regularly any-more, and i know a few others from this site get it too. If you're worried its a sign of schizophrenia don't worry its not.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

j4mtj said:


> Yes, this is classic dp, I used to have it all my life but not anymore (see my first post). Once in a while it gets triggered for a short time. When it happens, like many here, have found a good way to cope is to focus on what I see, hear, smell, etc., use my senses to get back into the 'physical' body.
> 
> I also get music running through my brain, used to drive me crazy, people whistling are experienced as an invasion because I can't get their song out of my head. Also 'thought commentary' as described by a psychiatrist (internal debates and commenting) but no schizophrenia after a lifetime of this so I doubt there is a link.


Can you explain more about the thought commentary? Internal debate and commenting? I may have this too, but ive never heard of it...


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

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## ihavetomakethis (Dec 23, 2010)

Yo guys, completley drunk and dp is wierd feeling haha....


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## savana (Nov 17, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> I think the important thing to realize about dp/dr is that it's just like being drunk or high. Reality hasn't gone anywhere. You are in the middle of it but you are intoxicated on brain chemicals. You are still the same person, you and the world haven't changed. It's just the chemicals in your brain. The dp will go away in the same way that a high will. It will slowly fade until you sober up, look around, and realize that you're not high anymore. You haven't lost reality. It didn't go anywhere and you don't have to do any work to "find it" again. Just try to relax and know that the high will pass and you will be better.


i think this is the most inspriring post i read on this site so far, lol 
It deffintely put a littl peace in my mind.


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## ihavetomakethis (Dec 23, 2010)

I have done everything , socilazing,partys, exercise, omega 3 etc etc
Its not working for me at all ... Gueas i just have to whait it out feels so hopeless , also i have got sick thoughts and
wierd mindgames .... Anylast tips ? Post in 2-3 days , I Will not enter this site for à month now need to get my mind of it


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

Don Steffa said:


> This has probably been the most demotivating post i've read on this forum.


oh, i think i must apologize, that was not my intention.


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## Onibla (Nov 9, 2010)

Key is to get your mind off of DP/DR, you've got to learn to ignore it unconciously even if things look scary and unreal. Forgetting you have it is better than exercise and supplements.


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## SirDickens. (Dec 14, 2010)

ihavetomakethis said:


> Hey guys, been having this facking insane pain in the soul in the ass in the heart syndrom or wtf it is for 2 months now, i never been a sad guy or anything and i never taking pills or i never been anxoius or anything, tried weed and got panic AND NOW IM STUCK IN THIS FACKING SICK FOG OF RETARDNESS! Its make no sense?? even when i dont think about it i can feel it, when i move my body dosnt feel right, feels like im 100000000000 miles away and controlling it
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Hi there ihavetomakethis,

I just wanted to say to you that your profile, by that I mean your real life profile looks pretty the same as mine and I understood the every single word you spoke. Same happened to me,same scenario, cheerful and kind person used once (my case three times) pot and that changed his/hers life completely. :/

I want you to know that this (I'm not doctor, but just assuming) is not Schizophrenia. If you want, I'll send you a good book that helped me a lot!

Hang in there and know that you're not alone, in fact there is if anyone at least me that went through the same experience, and still going through pretty much the same.

If you're more interested, read my story as well.

Forgot to ask you how have you been doing lately?

Regards,
Bruno. xoxo


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