# Video Regarding Ego Death



## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

Hi everyone, if you could take a moment to watch this video I made, read the description and share with friends, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much.


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## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

From my point of view is the problem not ego death, it's the trauma you experienced because you had that experience. You can't really get rid of the ego, just become aware of it's illusory existence - and this can be really frightening for most people because the ego is designed to protect it's existence at all costs. The fear might have triggered some sort of trauma in you causing your brain to numb itself down to protect you from experiencing negative emotions etc. As a result you can get stuck in this dissociation state with a lot of fear and a hyperactive mind trying to explain it all - it becomes a negative cycle where fear is the fuel. So you don't have to worry that your ego is gone and that you are going insane or whatever. I myself believe that to overcome this you need to let go of all the fears you have and try to resolve the underlying trauma. I don't know a exact step by step process but you have to try and not give up :|


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Not that i'm a spiritual expert or anything, but "ego-death" is like the ultimate goal in spirituality, where you feel connected, free from worries (false/inaccurate thoughts), at peace, content, joyful etc etc. My point is it's supposed to be an awesome thing. So in other words, this is probably Depersonalization (i don't really see what else it can be).

I would recommend reading up on the common symptoms of DP just to clarify things for yourself, and then jump right into 'Recovery Section' and take things from there. Many have recovered, and i don't see any reason why you couldn't either!


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## evolvingpsyche (Oct 20, 2015)

Pondererer said:


> Not that i'm a spiritual expert or anything, but "ego-death" is like the ultimate goal in spirituality, where you feel connected, free from worries (false/inaccurate thoughts), at peace, content, joyful etc etc. My point is it's supposed to be an awesome thing. So in other words, this is probably Depersonalization (i don't really see what else it can be).


This. DP =/= ego death. Can you imagine some monk meditating 20 hours a day with the goal to get depersonalized lol


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

I doubt DP is ego death.

I watched the video. This is a recent experience for you yeah? I've had it for 6 years and it bottoms out after the initial experience. When I first had my panic attacks in 2010 (I was 19) the experience of emptiness was SO intense, but after a couple of years it sort of just blended into the background of experience.

It's still really bad but doesn't make me panic anymore, it's just become a part of me. Dunno how to cure it but I've sort of just stopped caring for the most part.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

Midnight said:


> I doubt DP is ego death.
> 
> I watched the video. This is a recent experience for you yeah? I've had it for 6 years and it bottoms out after the initial experience. When I first had my panic attacks in 2010 (I was 19) the experience of emptiness was SO intense, but after a couple of years it sort of just blended into the background of experience.
> 
> It's still really bad but doesn't make me panic anymore, it's just become a part of me. Dunno how to cure it but I've sort of just stopped caring for the most part.


Is this something that is absolutely constant for you? What exactly do you mean by "bottoms out/blends into the background"?


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Great video, I can relate to some of it. I was never into drugs, but the trauma/damage to the psyche thing that I believe induces DPDR is something that really resonates with me. I developed it myself after a week long in hospital for a serious condition. Between the racing thoughts of not making it through, the constant pain and discomfort, and not being able to eat, sleep or drink for days, I went into a kind of delirium. And shortly after I was released, I felt spaced out, drunk/dizzy, all the good stuff we know to be part of DPDR.

EDIT: were you an extra in "Eyes Wide Shut?"


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## Lostsoul26 (Nov 9, 2016)

I got dp also from ecstasy when I was 17..I can relate completely to your post and it isn't a joke. people think oh one lil pill cant do anything or if you do it every once in a while it wont.no that lil pill left me a shell of a person.that lil pill took away me.I dont know who I am at all that lil pill sent my sister to the hospital in a coma.it makes me want to cry for u n for us,all I know is u have to have hope.hope that u will get over this one day.they say diet exercise and keeping your self busy can get u back. I have been relievdiebefore about 60 percent with zoloft and exercise stay close to friends n family.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Hellome said:


> Is this something that is absolutely constant for you? What exactly do you mean by "bottoms out/blends into the background"?


I mean, the initial month after I first 'got' this, when I was having panic attacks, felt like I was going through some incredibly intense transformative experience. Everything was intensely surreal, and often I'd stay up until 6AM before being able to sleep. I was numb everywhere in a kind of trance, it sounds bizarre saying it now, but my grasp of English / basic communication was disrupted. Socially I was also totally, completely inept.... my 'personality' as I had known it, or my felt sense of myself, sense of relating to others, simply dissolved. I remember walking around London and feeling like someone had jammed a stick into the 'cogs' of my brain, like it was disrupted somehow. I don't really have that anymore.

What I'm saying is that all of that stuff petered out eventually. Life feels pretty normal now compared to back then. I have goals / objectives, romantic interests (infact pursuing women has made me very unhappy)

TLDR: It gets better, try not to panic (I know it's hard not to)


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## andcrew (Dec 8, 2016)

Hellome, don't mean to be rude or anything I am in nearly the same if not the same position as you according to your symptoms and what you are experiencing, but you said that you don't feel any emotion and in the video you got really emotional when talking about your family and boyfriend.In my case I can't see anything in the world that would make me sad or happy, it feels like i don't know what the meaning of those words is and how to act emotionally in this way if that makes sense. I just want to ask did you feel this emotion of being sad while talking on the video because by the looks of it you got really sad and emotional.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

Hellome said:


> Hi everyone, if you could take a moment to watch this video I made, read the description and share with friends, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much.


I feel your pain girl. I am right where you are!


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

Just want to say something about not feeling anything for any family or boyfriends/girlfriends and friends.

The fact that it bothers you, (to put it lightly), proves that you still do care for them.

If you truly didn't care anymore, you wouldn't be so devastated by the apparent lack of emotions.

Somewhere deep inside you still are you, and love your loved ones.

Hope that helps at all.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> Just want to say something about not feeling anything for any family or boyfriends/girlfriends and friends.
> 
> The fact that it bothers you, (to put it lightly), proves that you still do care for them.
> 
> ...


Thank you.


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## Hellome (Sep 29, 2016)

everyone watching this: please do not start googling about "ego death" and start getting all freaked out about what people say about it. I don't want people falling down that hole, I did for a few weeks and was honestly nearly suicidal for a bit. I'm doing a little better outlook-wise at the moment, blind hope is really all that's keeping me going right now but I know that keeping the mindset that this is going to be better guides my actions in a more healthy, conducive-to-real-life way. Right now I really just want everyone to take a moment to tell themselves that this cannot be forever, no matter how convincing it seems to be right now. It is more therapeutic than you realize right now and one day you will thank yourself for it.


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## 999661 (May 10, 2016)

Hellome said:


> everyone watching this: please do not start googling about "ego death" and start getting all freaked out about what people say about it. I don't want people falling down that hole, I did for a few weeks and was honestly nearly suicidal for a bit. I'm doing a little better outlook-wise at the moment, blind hope is really all that's keeping me going right now but I know that keeping the mindset that this is going to be better guides my actions in a more healthy, conducive-to-real-life way. Right now I really just want everyone to take a moment to tell themselves that this cannot be forever, no matter how convincing it seems to be right now. It is more therapeutic than you realize right now and one day you will thank yourself for it.


I Wonder why would anyone become suicidal about having an ego death experience?

According to all spiritual traditions, teachers, sages and wise men, Ego Death is something to be desired. Its something that free us from the conditioning of society and the lower human thoughts and emotions such as anger, greedy, lust, resentment, shame, guilty, fear.

Ego Death is another name to the experience of spiritual enlightenment, which is when we lose all illusion and false ideas about ourselves and life, and experience reality as it is. And this experience is often describe as Love, Peace, God-realization, etc..

So really no reason to fear having Ego-death and googling about it! Lol


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

Fesh said:


> I Wonder why would anyone become suicidal about having an ego death experience?
> 
> According to all spiritual traditions, teachers, sages and wise men, Ego Death is something to be desired. Its something that free us from the conditioning of society and the lower human thoughts and emotions such as anger, greedy, lust, resentment, shame, guilty, fear.
> 
> ...


You're absolutely wrong. Ego death is the exact opposite of enlightenment. I've reached enlightenment before, which was short-lived, and now have this so-called ego death. It's basically living in the "now" but with DP/DR (which usually brings about depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, etc.). Shinzen Young perfectly describes it in his video:


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## 999661 (May 10, 2016)

dreamedm said:


> You're absolutely wrong. Ego death is the exact opposite of enlightenment. I've reached enlightenment before, which was short-lived, and now have this so-called ego death. It's basically living in the "now" but with DP/DR (which usually brings about depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, etc.). Shinzen Young perfectly describes it in his video:


I disagree my friend. I believe you have missunderstood the spiritual teachings, thats a very common thing to happen. I have watched that video before, and I feel it is not the most accurate information being displayed. I dont fully understand DP/DR and enlightenment so i'm limited to speak about it, but i believe Eckhart Tolle is a truly enlightened person and his teachings are in aligment with the idea that Spiritual enlightenment is a form of Ego death.

Here he says it clearly.






Hope This helps

PS: I just fully watched the video, the person who made it is questioning eckhart autenticity, which I can understand, we must investigate things and not just believe. On the other hand, I feel eckhart gives a very simple and clear explanations about his ''ego death'' experience


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

Fesh said:


> I disagree my friend. I believe you have missunderstood the spiritual teachings, thats a very common thing to happen. I have watched that video before, and I feel it is not the most accurate information being displayed. I dont fully understand DP/DR and enlightenment so i'm limited to speak about it, but i believe Eckhart Tolle is a truly enlightened person and his teachings are in aligment with the idea that Spiritual enlightenment is a form of Ego death.


We can agree to disagree about "ego death," then. It's just a term, anyway, and people seem to interpret it differently. I've reached what Eckart Tolle talks about in the "Power of Now." That is enlightenment. I've been there. It was short-lived for me, unfortunately, and I eventually dissociated (again) into dp/dr. Now I'm living in the "now" but with dp/dr, and have fallen into the "pit of the void," as Young mentions. Before this, I've also had dp/dr but my ego was still there. Now it seems like it's gone or suppressed or dissociated - call it what you will. If you've never reached/felt enlightenment, then you can't really have an idea about what Tolle is talking about (nor any idea about what Young talks about, if you haven't fallen into the pit of the void).


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## dreamedm (Feb 1, 2015)

You can reach enlightenment, or what Tolle speaks about living in the "now," but the ego can always creep back in. This is why I don't believe the ego really "dies" during enlightenment - more like it comes into alignment with the true self. It is humbled and realizes that there are two kinds of voices within you - that which comes from the ego and that which comes from the true self. This is why many who go through an "enlightenment" still experience depression and desires that stem from the ego. I'm sure even Tolle still had his struggles after he experienced enlightenment. For most, if not for all, to sustain this enlightenment takes constant, nearly everyday work.


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## evolvingpsyche (Oct 20, 2015)

I don't know why would you bother your time on reading about ego death. It's no different from having a headache then self diagnosing having cancer thanks to miracles of google.


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

Is there actually an agreement about what enlightenment is supposed to be?


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## 999661 (May 10, 2016)

TDX said:


> Is there actually an agreement about what enlightenment is supposed to be?


From what I have been reading, Yes. Enlightenment has been described in many ways throughout time in many different places and cultures, but the essense is always the same. Its often described as an experience of oneness with life, of perfect peace and happiness, without suffering. Its the realization that we are pure consciousness/awareness, and not just this physical body and mind. Its the realization of the source of life, thats why its called ''god-realization''. Its also called the Higher Self, Christ consciousness, the Soul, etc..


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

If "perfect peace and happiness, without suffering" is a component of it then it certainly cannot be depersonalization or the "ego death" in the video, because both are very far in the opposite direction.


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## 99880 (Mar 17, 2016)

I'm not a spiritual person, but do have an interest in trance states, ego death and Stoicism. The aim of many spiritual practices appears to be attaining a state of equanimity rather than happiness.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equanimity


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

It's not an easy story to listen to, let alone experience first hand. You're very strong for surviving, and for talking about it.


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