# Acceptance and commitment therapy



## yuri (Sep 4, 2019)

So I got inspired to write a little about what I believe is my way to live a better life. Not free from anxiety but accepting it and living a fulfilled life anyway. I haven't slept much so this will just be a start and I will probably write some more at a later date. The other part of it, the commitment part, I haven't really worked with yet. So I started with this book some time ago:

https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life/dp/1572244259

I got a bit in and then it was an exercise where you should say your negative thougts and feelings out loud when you felt them. I said them loud in my head instead. Did not want to shop for groceries and accidentally say my anxieties out loud.  The exercise was meant to stretch two weeks. I did it two years instead. Without going in to much about why, but I needed to do that. I see myself as a world champion at pushing negative thoughts away. So now I can sit in a chair with a cop of tee and be more in the now. Accepting the negativity more.

So I have opened the book again. I have started to learn what I think. Like Im quite isolated right now. I have my cat whos ten and I'm terrified of loosing her. I registered that every time I saw her I just thought about her dying. So I learned about my thougtpatterns there and then I made the effort to let that feeling be there. I ask myself: can I have this feeling and still be in the present? Sometime I can, sometimes I cant and sometimes It opens up a lot of the things I have pushed away. My work is starting to change me. Now sometimes I can feel happiness that I have my cat alive with me this day. Grateful. I think this positive emotions cant manifest when you push all the bad ones away.

Acceptance is one of the hardest things to learn. It will take time. But for me it seems the way to go.


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## vincie (Nov 23, 2011)

DP is basicly a constant state of denial of our fears. Fears is what brought about the dp, plus our denail of these fears is what keeps us in that state. And we don't know this because the dp-state is keeping us on lock-down or survival-mode all the time. We can't even realize what is behind the scenes. Ofcourse.. see the state of denial once again. Viscious circle.

It's great to face faers. You should also try to feel the fears in your heart and body. It brings shivers and mental pain a bit. But it can become a sort of game you can play anywhere, supermarket great example.. somewhere ... some place with a lot of stimuli.

I experienced at times that feeling fears deep down.. and really I mean being completely open to it and say.. I'm open, let it come! Then when I played that game at times the dp would lift. I would instantly make the connection in my mind between facing a faer and dp lifting. So I knew.. okay this is all about working my way through my fears and denial.

But it's difficult. I'd get confused because I wanted it to be permanent and it wasn't. But I'm sure that this is one way to do it and probably the most effective way to get out. It's just that it seems that its an exercise that needs to be repeated. And it doesn't matter what fear, because it's all somehow connected to the DP.

One thing: I really believe that that viscious circle can be broken once a start has been made. The body shows you what more there is what you didn't see, once the litter is removed. Clear that up and you could be free.

I have respect for your way of dealing with this. I hope you always keep doing it and don't think you have arrived when you have some succes. There is probably another layer.

I bet the DP has already become milder. Good luck


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## vincie (Nov 23, 2011)

I see it this way, it was the only way to keep me enthusiatic and hopefull.. it's that Clearing up the 'debris' is make the dp lift a bit at a time, slowely... very slowely. But every step further makes us clearer, stronger. And the amazement is the further we move away from dp the faster the process goes. It's like the progress made, or even bits of progress starts working for you.. in favour of us. It's like an iceberg melting. Once the outer layer melts, the part that is beneath it melts faster all of a sudden, because the outer layer lost it's impact. There's air and it's warm.

Had to add this allright :-D


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## anotherme (Oct 7, 2019)

I'm starting on my journey with acceptance. Today actually, I realized that I can fight everyday to make the symptoms go away, but this won't actually just make them magically go away. I felt so sad when I realized that I don't have much control over this and there is no magic wand that will make it all better. I wish I felt like myself again. The thing is though, that after I felt this wave of sadness, I felt more relaxed and able to think about things other than fixing my DP symptoms. So maybe this is the first step. As long as I have these weird sensations and panic attacks I will still do things that make me happy. I will still live my life. I feel less anxious about all the feelings and somehow they seem less frightening. Acceptance seems to be the new way to go for me too.


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## vincie (Nov 23, 2011)

anotherme said:


> I'm starting on my journey with acceptance. Today actually, I realized that I can fight everyday to make the symptoms go away, but this won't actually just make them magically go away. I felt so sad when I realized that I don't have much control over this and there is no magic wand that will make it all better. I wish I felt like myself again. The thing is though, that after I felt this wave of sadness, I felt more relaxed and able to think about things other than fixing my DP symptoms. So maybe this is the first step. As long as I have these weird sensations and panic attacks I will still do things that make me happy. I will still live my life. I feel less anxious about all the feelings and somehow they seem less frightening. Acceptance seems to be the new way to go for me too.


You came across the term "accept what is? That basicly summarizes real acceptance. Although I think this sounds a bit over the top to put it that way. Because no-one can do that all the time, even trying seems impossible. But bit by bit and it helps a lot.

Some go about and do something which i did allt he time in the beginning. I 'though'about what's wrong and covered it with a layer of positive feedback as if to 'change or undo'' the terrifying reality of dp. Which besides, we already know is there. So the brain is not even important here because we're not looking for trickery. I would say feelings are the unstable part that need to be confronted and experienced. They deflate overtime. We have anxiety attached to our experiences of dp, wich keep us going in a sort of merry-go-round or roundabout where once fuels the other. Fear imflates dp and vice versa. Face the fear, or better, don't look for anything but just say what do I feel exacly and feel it. Feel it as it is and it deflates when you "touch" is, meaning facing it is touching it.. That is more or less how I would like to describe my own approach. Needless to say the dp reduces as underlying fear is reduced.

It sounds a bit like eastern thinking. But there are many book written infused with eastern thinking, but it contains truth that we especially need to hear about.


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