# The thoughts are unbearable



## Scaredx

I don't have DP but I realize that a lot of people here get thoughts like what have been haunting me for so long.

I question EVERYTHING. And I get scared when I do it. The question "What is life?" is so deep and unbearable that it almost brings me to my knees in fear when I think of it. And then there are all the little questions that stem from that, that I get. I can't stop and smell the roses, I have to ask "What is a rose? Why has this rose formed like that? What makes the rose work?"

I have questioned HUNDREDS of things and I question more every day and I can't stop it. These thoughts come into my head without my prompting and I get an immediate feeling of terror when they do.

It's unrelentless. It ruins any happy moments I have and it wakes me up in the middle of my sleep. I've felt suicidal because of it.

I can't take it.
Can someone help?

Has anyone had these thoughts and conquered them? Can anyone offer some methods to conquer? It's not as easy as trying to prove it irrational like many pure-o thoughts, because it's based in reality - the here and now. It's almost a fear of reality.


----------



## Haumea

> It's almost a fear of reality.


Exactly. It's *a fear* - face the fear (that is, clearly understand what it is you are afraid of), realize that it is not real -- that's it's irrational -- and eliminate it.

Obsessive thoughts are downstream from having the fear.


----------



## chazhe

I kind of have a similar thing, but they are not questions..... still, I think maybe the more attention you give to them, the more they will bother you......


----------



## kayseas95

Trust me i've been there, It's ALL fear. It's all going on in your head, everything your aware of and everything your thinking of is in your head, I know it might sound ignorant saying that but I've been there, those are the thoughts that have to go. those are the thoughts you HAVE to let go


----------



## Scaredx

It's true it is just fear... When I have no fear I don't get the thoughts, or I do but in a much smaller amount, and I don't hang onto them.

Problem is I'm anxious most of the time, so I guess it's really the anxiety that I should get under control and then hopefully the thoughts will follow.

They are just so bad... and it's so reassuring to know other people think things like this too. It really gets you questioning your sanity.


----------



## Midnight

I have never experienced any of what you are talking about with regards to these thoughts about the world/life etc. Personally, my thought process has changed considerably, but not in this way.

I think alot about REAL issues in the world, like pollution of the environment, the proposition of nuclear war eradicating humanity, global warming, animal cruelty and injustice, the problems the human race causes etc. I think about these things because they MATTER.

Why the fuck would you think about 'how a rose works'????

Can you not see how stupid that is? How pointless? Sorry but some people need to snap out of this....


----------



## Scaredx

Midnight said:


> I have never experienced any of what you are talking about with regards to these thoughts about the world/life etc. Personally, my thought process has changed considerably, but not in this way.
> 
> I think alot about REAL issues in the world, like pollution of the environment, the proposition of nuclear war eradicating humanity, global warming, animal cruelty and injustice, the problems the human race causes etc. I think about these things because they MATTER.
> 
> Why the fuck would you think about 'how a rose works'????
> 
> Can you not see how stupid that is? How pointless? Sorry but some people need to snap out of this....


It is stupid and pointless, I don't do it out of choice. These are intrusive thoughts, and I want to snap out of them. I want to worry about things normal people worry about, like things you said, but I don't, I analyze the building blocks of life to a deep material level. It's so scientific, it's cold and emotionless stuff. It's painfully out of control and I don't want to tell a professional because they might think I'm nuts.

I agree Fearless, I should just face them. I'll try to. They can't harm me. I just want them to go away, but I guess that will take some time. I definitely don't want to make them worse.


----------



## Haumea

> I think alot about REAL issues in the world, like pollution of
> the environment, the proposition of nuclear war eradicating humanity,
> global warming, animal cruelty and injustice, the problems the human
> race causes etc. I think about these things because they MATTER.


They matter, but unless you're actually going to *do something* about these things, thinking about them can be pointless as well.


----------



## kayseas95

Scaredx said:


> It's true it is just fear... When I have no fear I don't get the thoughts, or I do but in a much smaller amount, and I don't hang onto them.
> 
> Problem is I'm anxious most of the time, so I guess it's really the anxiety that I should get under control and then hopefully the thoughts will follow.
> 
> They are just so bad... and it's so reassuring to know other people think things like this too. It really gets you questioning your sanity.


The recovery process is mostly about letting go of those thoughts, once you get far enough into recovery the feeling of being real and present takes the place of the dp thoughts, a month ago I was just beginning to let go. and now today I can actually have a decent conversation without being scared. the brightness of today is hard on my eyes because I'm so used to not seeing the sun. it's crazy to be coming out of this state for being in it for over a year now. you'll get there too


----------



## kayseas95

Midnight said:


> I have never experienced any of what you are talking about with regards to these thoughts about the world/life etc. Personally, my thought process has changed considerably, but not in this way.
> 
> I think alot about REAL issues in the world, like pollution of the environment, the proposition of nuclear war eradicating humanity, global warming, animal cruelty and injustice, the problems the human race causes etc. I think about these things because they MATTER.
> 
> Why the fuck would you think about 'how a rose works'????
> 
> Can you not see how stupid that is? How pointless? Sorry but some people need to snap out of this....


Well that's you. people are still so far into their heads they can't help it. I couldn't, and at some point you probably couldn't either


----------



## delphi

I guess lots of people feel like the same or have the same feeling to do something which once come into their minds, and if not done they would feel irritated and like undone. So, in any such situations we just need to stay relax and try to be involve in some activity which keep our mind busy and feel cool.


----------



## OvercomeTheAnxietyDP/DR

Scaredx said:


> I don't have DP but I realize that a lot of people here get thoughts like what have been haunting me for so long.
> 
> I question EVERYTHING. And I get scared when I do it. The question "What is life?" is so deep and unbearable that it almost brings me to my knees in fear when I think of it. And then there are all the little questions that stem from that, that I get. I can't stop and smell the roses, I have to ask "What is a rose? Why has this rose formed like that? What makes the rose work?"
> 
> I have questioned HUNDREDS of things and I question more every day and I can't stop it. These thoughts come into my head without my prompting and I get an immediate feeling of terror when they do.
> 
> It's unrelentless. It ruins any happy moments I have and it wakes me up in the middle of my sleep. I've felt suicidal because of it.
> 
> I can't take it.
> Can someone help?
> 
> Has anyone had these thoughts and conquered them? Can anyone offer some methods to conquer? It's not as easy as trying to prove it irrational like many pure-o thoughts, because it's based in reality - the here and now. It's almost a fear of reality.


I know what you mean, I my thoughts are fucked like that too, I am very scared of getting Schizophrenic, I can't even enjoy other peoples problems fully because sometimes I think "what if they saying that to keep me trap in this fake world like inception/vanilla sky movie" you know fighting for their existence and shit. It's crazy thoughts I know, I thought about other crazy shit I don't even want to talk about, my mind seems warped, one DAY I wish I can beat this shit, I question every existential, the difference between memory and imagination and stupid shit like that. I don't believe it, but it worries me, I wish I can erase my memory by bumping my head somewhere


----------



## Hosscat

Fearless, one of my questions to you is since you no longer fear these thoughts, do you see them as irrational? The hardest part for me is feeling like ive gotten to a point where I practically believe them :/


----------

