# I feel like my life will soon be ruined from my mental heath issues



## nathan69

I’m going to start by saying that my life is already a bit ruined from the drugs I have taken. While I haven’t taken what I consider to be hard drugs my brain still has been changed. I have used AHDH meds for most of my life and at age 14 I smoked weed and developed DR/DP. Around I hear later I used tf out of a juul and it made my brain feel different. It made me robe out more offten and now I was stuck with problem. Around 3 months passed and I felt like it may have gotten better but now that I look back at it I’m pretty sure I just became better at dealing with it. I tried weed again and my DP/DR got bad again. 1 month later I tried Xanax and now my brain is fucked. It feels like a big portion of my brain is turned off it’s hard to describe. I recently cried a lot for no reason and I just sat there and it felt like I was sitting in someone’s body and was just crying. No emotion just the feeling of my eyes watering and breathing heavier. No relief feeling or saddens. I feel my brain is very messed and messed up for good. I’m only 16 but I don’t think my future is looking very bright. I have always been very paranoid and I feel like people are always out to poison me. Like tonight at dinner I didn’t want to finish the bread because I thought maybe someone had poisoned it. my uncle had schizophrenia and I’m pretty sure I’ll develop it. I really hope I don’t because if I do I think I’ll just end up killing myself. My life wouldn’t be worth living if I had the state my brain is in now + voices in my head. Thanks for reading.


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## Aridity

Your paranoids thoughts do sound like schizophrenia but I am no doctor,but I can say with the a great deal of certainty you do not have any brain damage or irrreversible damage done. It’s just anxiety over ruminating,and thoughts. Stay strong


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## Amethysteyes

First, ill start off by saying my DP/DR was caused my medications and weed as well. Your paranoid thoughts about being poisoned dont have to be linked back to just schizophrenia. I had a recurrent thought that my family wasnt accually my own and i couldnt trust them or they might kill me but it was simply just from the dr and keep in mind i had that thought for a while.


Nathan69 said:


> Around 3 months passed and I felt like it may have gotten better but now that I look back at it I'm pretty sure I just became better at dealing with it. I tried weed again and my DP/DR got bad again. 1 month later I tried Xanax and now my brain is fucked.


Now, with the first part of ur quote, becoming better at dealing with the dissociation is the first step to recovery! Remember this is all a mental state of mind. Once you fully accept its there, you can start to recover.
Now with the next part. Weed is fun and all but if you want to get better, cut that out of your life! Its a phychoactive drug that just makes dissociation worse. But that doesnt mean you brain is fucked. Different meds not only made my dp worse but i made the same mistake with weed and tried it a couple times after the first time and all it did was amplify my problems. But! I am alot better now! You need to do things that will help keep any anxiety you have at bay since anxiety feeds dp and dr. I found a youtuber named "harris harrington" and his videos really helped me. He got through his own dp and it doesnt take anything but a change in your thought process about your mental illness. Its like depression and anxiety, it takes a great deal of mental effort to overcome this. Stay strong!


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## Amethysteyes

And if you need people to talk to and vent about it, you can just drop a message and start a conversation. You can even talk to me if you want. Everyone ive seen on here so far are very friendly and helpful.


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## Berangaria Martineau

It is always better to not feel so low about it, firstly you should go to doctor and take medications. It will help you a lot in many ways. It can be anxiety also you can also consult a psychiatrist it is very beneficial.


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