# My partner has depersonalization



## kongo (Aug 15, 2015)

Hi everyone,

I do not have depersonalization myself, but my boyfriend does. I just joined to see if I could receive some tips and personal experiences from others to help me better understand it, and how it has affected others in a relationship with someone struggling with DP.

My boyfriend has been quite open about DP and his ADHD from the very beginning, in fact, he felt the need to explain it to me on our first date. I have since been very interested in both subjects and read articles, watched the movie Numb (2007) and tried to fill my brain with any kind of information early on. However, it has started to hit me only now, how much things can affect our relationship.

We have been together for about a year and a half, big part of it in a long distance relationship due to me moving between our countries and working elsewhere, but I believe this has helped us learn to communicate more openly. We recently had a conversation about feelings and emotions while being apart. He described it as being unfair towards me in general that my feelings only grow and his have stayed the same. He has trouble understanding the feelings in him, and the closer someone gets, the more he wants to push them away, and that everything feels so far away.

We have established that there's no need to rush and try to figure out the feelings right away, I'm not trying to equalize things, but I wish to be there for him and find a way to also satisfy my needs to connect in the process. Just to learn and grow together to figure things out in time.

I would gladly explain more of the story here, but I was hoping to have private conversations with people who might be able to relate to this situation, and could offer some new perspective. I want to understand what he's going through, and how I could be there to support him with his struggles. But I also want to hear how others cope with the emotional distance and "one sided" feelings.

We are doing fine, and will continue being in a relationship for as long as we both feel comfortable and happy, but it requires work. I hope to hear from some of you soon 

Thanks in advance!


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## RareRow35 (Aug 20, 2015)

Just tell him you are right there with him and that he is here on Earth and if you both have to go roll around in the grass and dirt for him to know then you will do it! (Yes I'm serious!) And give him something tangible that he can take with him to have in his pocket so it's like he is holding onto your hand when you're not around. I'm telling you this stuff helps. Anything that he's used to will help, whatever brings him the most comfort will help. (His fave funny movie for instance
) sometimes just being held. Btw you are an Awesome Person for going on this Forum. He sure is Lucky to have you! Peace


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