# Raising kids while having dp/dr



## Forumnewbie (Nov 4, 2013)

I have two kids. One is two and a half the other is four months old. I am severely dped. I hardly get out of bed because of it. My husband is taking care of them as are family and friends. I don't know how to cope. I can't play w my kids without feeling dr. I then despair. I can't take them out. I can't feed them. I feel terrible so being a mother. It's a curse. I never knew I could be so severely dped I wouldn't have had them if I knew although I've had this for 13 years it was manageable. Any advice on how to cope with children? I feel my very presence is damaging them ESP the older one as she understands something is very off


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## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

Hi! I'm new here and I have 3 kids. I have DR but it's not a visual thing, it's more a fear of death that put me into I guess what is called DR. I was really bad months ago and couldn't get out of bed, I was in such a dream. I knew they were my kids but didn't feel like their mom! I felt so detached from all my family. I had never been a drinker but the only thing that could help me interact with my kids was to have wine. I still have trouble with the deep thoughts and I am super aware of my existence...if that makes sense. I don't know what to say to make you feel better but I have been there when it was really bad and I feel my anxiety creeping back up and I'm afraid I will be in that position again. I am hanging by a thread coping right now but my thought is why am I here, theres no point.


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## tease11982 (Apr 17, 2013)

HI IVE HAD DP FOR YEARS AND WHEN I HAD MY LAST CHILD WHO IS 10 MONTHS NOW IT ALL GOT WORSE PANIC ATTACKS OCD THOUGHTS AND DEPRESSION. I MANAGED IT REALLY WELL BEFORE AND IT DIDNT EFFECT ME SO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. MY ANXIETY HAS TAKEN OVER MY THOUGHT PROCESS NOW AND I CANT GET A GRIP ON IT EVEN WITH MY LEXAPRO. HANG ON WE WILL GET THRU THIS. LIKE ME IT PROBABLY GOT WORSE AFTER THE BABY AND CAUSED SOME POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY.


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## tease11982 (Apr 17, 2013)

AND WHILE YOUR BATTLIING THIS KEEP YOUR CHILDREN IN MIND THEY ARE WHAT YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR. YOU HAD THIS MANAGED BEFORE YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN. THERE IS A SUPPORT GROUP ON FACEBOOK FOR POSPARTUM ANXIETY YOU MAY WANT TO CHECK OUT VERY SUPPORTIVE GIRLS AND SOME WHO DEAL WITH THIS DP ALSO.


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## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

How did you ladies even think of having kids while having DP? Even anxiety and depression for that matter?! I would be so frightened to go through that not feeling 100% myself. I give you a lot of credit!


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## Forumnewbie (Nov 4, 2013)

I had dpdr when I was 16 after smoking weed once. It ebbed and flowed for ten years. They were periods of time when it was gone. I thought I would never have it chronically ang that I had a hold on it. When pregnant I was at my best. Now I'm bedridden and terrified. Trust me I would have never had children if I'd known. NEVER. It is a source of constant guilt for me.


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## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

How long have you been bedridden?


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## tease11982 (Apr 17, 2013)

have you talked to a psychiatrist about possible postpartum? I know we have had dp before this but I think it turns into postpartum depression and anxiety afterwards. Im still trying to find the right medication to get my anxiety undercontrol and depression and ocd thoughts. If I can just get back to having manageable dp I would be happy im no longer on the hunt for the cure for dp its the others I want to control. I didn't have dp with my other two kids but developed it 4 years ago and had another baby girl 10months ago. It wasn't planned and I hate what im going thru but I wouldn't give her up for the world.


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## Forumnewbie (Nov 4, 2013)

I've been bedridden for four months. I know it doesn't sound like a lot but its aged me in the most horrendous way. Also the prospect of what's ahead of me is so bleak and painful I really don't know where I can summon the strength to go on

Re the postpartum depression/ anxiety I'm finding it hard to tackle as its the dpdr that first triggered the anxiety then that was followed by depression. I guess I feel unless the dp goes I'm going to stay eternally unable to function. Of course that's never going to happen hence the constant suicidal thoughts.


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

I went through pregnancy and all while dp'd. Weird to say the least lol. I wouldn't say it got worse after having my son, but the intrusive thoughts of going crazy and the "what if" thoughts were scarier and still are. You just have to tell yourself that it's all anxiety based and that there is no truth to these thoughts. We are extremely imaginative people and we go a little too far with our worrying, especially as mothers. Whenever I get intrusive thoughts I just tell myself "stop it Amelie, this is fucking stupid and you don't have it in you to do shit like that."

Hope it helps.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Sorry to say but u have got to take control of urself...u r giving ur DR too much power...they are ur children and u chose to have them knowing that u already have dp. Can u somehow put aside the feelings of DR and DP whilst u feed ur kids and do even small things for them? Putting too much focus on it is not going to help u.

What do u think has made ur DR worse? Have u considered medication or some kind of treatment? Perhaps even get ur hormones tested.

I know it must be rlly fkn hard having kids while not being able to feel connected to them, but the bottom line is u did have them and now they are ur responsibility ...try to make a bit more of an effort to get the small things done and even try playing with them inside the house if going out is too much.

Xxx


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

missjess said:


> Sorry to say but u have got to take control of urself...u r giving ur DR too much power...they are ur children and u chose to have them knowing that u already have dp. Can u somehow put aside the feelings of DR and DP whilst u feed ur kids and do even small things for them? Putting too much focus on it is not going to help u.
> 
> What do u think has made ur DR worse? Have u considered medication or some kind of treatment? Perhaps even get ur hormones tested.
> 
> ...


Where in here does it say that all mothers with DP/anxiety can't care for their children?


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