# Meditative techniques that helped me out



## Abraxas (Apr 23, 2011)

This are some meditative techniques that I found helped with my DP

now, meditation is NOT detachment, meditation is connecting with Self. this is quite average so you can skip to the last two which might be more interesting.

We will start with the easiest and most passive meditation.

Sitting meditation:

15 minutes per day. It is good to time it with alarm clock so that you don't stop before time and you keep track of your progress (how deep your meditation was compared to a couple of weeks ago, keeping the 'duration of meditation' variable fixed)

1)	Sit down in a straight position. You can sit on a pillow, with another small pillow at base of back, against the wall, so that you can have some support and don't get tired.

2)	Close your eyes.

3)	For the first couple of minutes, try to simply relax as much as possible. Let go of worries. Now is a time to not worry about DP. Now is a time to give yourself a break from mind chatter, fears, worries about the future or sorrows about having lost yourself. Try to make your breath deep but do not force it, make it deep but smooth, relaxed. Deep doesn mean taking a lot of air in a short amount of time, but to prolong the duration of the inhalation and exhalation as much as possible.

4)	You inhale through nose

5)	You exhale, first through both nose and mouth, and as breath becomes more smooth and relaxed, you start exhaling all through nose. This is because it can be quite frustrating to try exhale only through nose while still anxious

6)	Try to further relax all muscles in body, without paying attention to thoughts, weird sensations, etc. In the case of feeling an uncomfortable sensation in any part of body, I advice you that, contrary to instinctual withdrawing of awareness from that part, you increase the 'contact' with that sensation, you kind of lay against that feeling, even trying to intensify it, to fully take it in. This will lower overall anxiety (more on rational later). Relax whole body, and do not 'fight' agains gravity, do not tense muscles in order to counter-act gravitational pull, let your organs just settle down with gravity.

7)	You place you awareness/focus on the area between your navel and under your ribcage. As you breath, you breath into that area, putting all awareness and attention in that area of your body. Do not try to visualize that area, our brain has a sort of mental-map of our body. Instead, try to really feel what that area 'feels like' by going in there with your mind.

8 ) As you do this, you try to change your attitude of worrying and being lost to one of tranquility. Only for this 15 minutes, you are ok with your DP and you will not do anything to change it. You will just breath and observe your body. A small smile, small enough not to get your lip muscles tired/tense, is good in improving mood, and reducing amount of thoughts, it sends a message to brain that causes release of endorphins.







like this.

9)	Whenever a thought of the sort 'What the f**k am I doing', 'This is pointless', 'I need to do this, or that..' 'What is this, blah blah&#8230;' 'who am I' etc. You just ignore that thought, not angrily as in 'GET THE F**K' away. But you kindly, respectfully ignore it, as this is not a time to think or worry, it is a time to relax and focus mind.

10)	Always come back to breath and to the Solar plexus area I mentioned. Do this until the alarm rings. You can increase the time, starting with 5 minutes, to 10, to 15, 20, etc every week or so.

11)	You can do this laying down, if you get tired while sitting. If you decide to do so, do not get in between the sheets because your brain will tell your body you're going to sleep. Better even to sleep in opposite direction by putting the pillow at opposite end of bed.

So, about the increasing contact with uncomfortable bodily sensations. There is a part of you who knows things and sees things without you consciously knowing or watching these things. For example, you don't control your heartbeat. Yet something keeps it going at the right pace, and modifies its rhythm when needed. When you breath, you can do so consciously, or sometimes unconsciously. When you observe a bodily sensation, you can either choose to consciously watch/feel that sensation, or you can choose to pull away your awareness from same, in the hope of reducing the intensity of such stimulus. However, you pulling out your conscious attention from a stimulus/sensation does not mean that your unconscious/subconscious mind will do same. That part of the mind will keep feeling that sensation, and responding to it. If it is an unpleasant sensation, your unconscious mind will automatically respond with anxiety, which is felt also in the body. This is what you are teaching your unconscious to do: You watch a sensation, and you dislike it. You have the mental judging of it being bad. So your unconscious then reacts in that way. If however, when feeling an akward./uncomfortable sensation in body, you increase contact and awareness with same, if you fully feel the sensation and accept it, instead of avoiding it, it will lower down your anxiety, and sometimes even lower down the pain/uncomfortable feeling. It seems that the more you ignore a sensation, the more it 'begs' for you to pay attention to it, and the more anxiety that causes. So be a good mother to your own body, and when a part of it is in distress, go there and feel what it has to say to you. You need your body to know you are there for it and that you care, and you give it a nice hug with the warmth of awareness.








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Music Meditation

For this one, you should play a music which is 'sentimental', but not sung, try finding one which is instrumental. Soft singing by female singer is very good too. Now, it is very, very important, that you find *new* music. Listening to music you would listen to before you got DP, is frustrating and increases DP, because you will be comparing your reaction to it to when you used to listen to it as 'yourself'.









The idea of using music is to try pierce through the mental fog/worries, and look into the feelings that are beneath. For me DP had a lot to do with repressing feelings and emotions due to the intensity of them, because feeling was 'too intense' for me. You need to let go of that feeling and lower your defenses in order to look inside.

Music that I found helped me pierce through DP and get in touch with my feelings were (you can download them on rapidshare of buy the CD if you re too self-conscious)









Entheogenic - Dialogue of the Speakers

This one is just beautiful, really gets through

Omnimotion - Dream Wide Awake

Again, beautiful. Particularly love the Days of Silence song

Yann Tiersen - anything by him, the Amelie soundtrack album is amazing, my favorite song is Comptine d'un autre ete (or something like that haha)

Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Anything by them. They are really, really good, music from another world

Ok, so, what do you do:

1)	Make yourself a cup of tea (chamomile, peppermint, anything to relax you)
2)	When you drink the tea, make sure you do it mindfully, not automatically. Remember, as you drink, what your intention is: "I am drinking this tea to relax body and mind"
3)	You light some incense, candles, and what ever makes your room cozier. Locking door or making sure there's no-one around made me feel safer and open up more easily.
4)	Play the song, and lay down on your bed. Do not get in between the sheets. If you are cold, use some thin sheet which you do not usually use to sleep with. Get as comfortable and loose as possible
5)	Now, try to forget about your everyday worries and about DP. Really make an effort in trying to stop thinking so much. Ignore thoughts, again, this is time to relax, and a time for a new language beyond those of words (thoughts), the language of music and emotions.
6)	Close your eyes
7)	Concentrate on the music. Breath slowly, deeply, quietly. 
8 ) Focus your attention in your heart. Try to feel your physical heart, and breath into it
9)	Really try to break through the mental fog, to pierce through thoughts and observe what is beneath, try to find that vulnerable part of you that is waiting beneath that cloud of confusion. Let go of shame, guilt, and fear, and see what is behind that fog. If it is sadness, melancholy, let it be, feel it. It might be intense but it is good to increase contact with it and not withdraw. Face it, face your sorrow. Cry if you have to.
10)	If you succeed in releasing some trapped feelings, then you will be much more relaxed, even if still melancholic
11)	Try to hold a little smile







, small enough so that your lip muscles do not tense and become tired. Keep focusing on heart area. Breath. Open up. Its ok to just BE.

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This third one I call, the *NOT GIVING A FUCK meditation*. It is a meditation in which all your efforts go into trying to defuse your anxiety. How? By completely ignoring your mind.

*Know your enemy:* Mind tells you you are going crazy, mind tells you you have lost yourself and should do something about it, mind tells you that something is wrong with that which you observe, it is too bright, too unreal, too bizarre. mind tells you: Suffer. Be anxious. Be worried. We need to get out. blah blah blah!
Also, mind tries to disguise itself as you. That voice _really_ isn't YOU. You can kind of guide that voice, but.. how can _you_ be a thought? You are _not_ your thoughts. At least not for this 20 minutes. Thoughts are like a Trojan horse. They disguise themselves as a part of you. But they are really just random non-sense. They can really be just random, or if they 'engage in conversation', typically existencial, they will suck out all of your energy/awareness and trap you into an endless worrying loop of thoughts. Why is it never ending? Because that thing which is saying 'Oh I cant find myself, what should I do, and what about Buddhism, and what about this supplements I bought, should I take more? Tomorrow im gonna try do this and that' that, trust me, is _not_ youSELF. Your task in this meditation will be to learn how to discern this. Now, this does not mean that your thoughts are from someone else. Your thoughts are from your mind. But what we want to realize here is that Self is not mind. Mind is a tool for self. The brain is just an organ, an evolutionary tool. And the fronto-temporal-lobe, that which does the thinking, is the new kid in the block evolutionary speaking. However, he thinks he is boss. You need the other organs in your body to overthrow this f**king tyrant, and subdue your mind under your own will and control. In order to do this, just treat it like you would treat a spoilt kid: You just ignore it







. This is what you do:

1)	Lay down. No getting in between sheets. 
2)	Relax as much as possible
3)	Focus on one part of the body, say chest
4)	Breath slowly
5)	Now, observe your thoughts
6)	Everytime you hear a thought, saying 'this is this, that is that, this is wrong, who am I, blah blah blah, do this, do that, im going crazy, etc' You say: *I don't care*.
7)	'What is this, i dont understand what is going on, i need to do something' *I don't care*
8 )	'Oh i think i should buy some more of that peppermint tomorrow' *I don't care*
9)	'Who am I?'*I don't give a fuck*
10)	And you keep ignoring it and focusing on your breath. All you care about is relaxing. You do not give a fuck about any comment mind has to add about the situation. _note: You do not actually mentally say: I dont care/give a f**k, as that would be mind telling mind that it doesnt care. It is just a kind of attitude you take towards mind and towards what it has to say about reality, and about what you should do about 'the problem'. You will learn, that the 'problem', is the mind itself!_ 
11)	As you do this, do the smile thingy as other exercises, but here I want you to add a kind of evil intention to that smile, a smile of defiance. You are defying your mind, you are teaching it who's boss. 
12)	Now, mind will do the impossible to try gain back your attention. Weird thoughts, bizarre, chaotic images in mind's eye, mind disguising itself as you in very, very clever ways. ' Look, I am beating my mind!' .still mind. Mind talking about mind. So you start to learn the difference, you start to overthrow the real enemy. Then, once it has quieted down, you can choose to use mind to do some calculations, count the number of apples you need to buy, and all those things mind is good for. *Not* existential issues. *Not* identity issues. As thinking mind is definitely not your Self.

Do this for as long as you want. Rejoice in your new-found evilness and it will turn into a sensual feeling: The sweet taste of victory (but don't say to yourself 'I won!' as mind will be taking away the glory from the real winner: your self).

Please try any of this, the key is to do it regularly. To change one's physiology you need to perform the given mental exercise for at least 21 days in a row. So best to choose just one, and for say, only 10 minutes, but if that means you will do it _everyday_ for 21 days. Discipline is key.

I will appreciate any feedback and will do best to answer any questions. Hope it helps!

Love

Abraxas


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## ZachT (Sep 8, 2008)

Great techniques. When I am in public places I will need to start using an audio kind of meditation. I get really nervous around a lot of people in public.


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## Abraxas (Apr 23, 2011)

Theone2 said:


> Great techniques. When I am in public places I will need to start using an audio kind of meditation. I get really nervous around a lot of people in public.


yeah i had social anxiety too. though not with strangers/in the streets but in social gatherings/going out. Though well, the city really freaked me out and i did find that listening to music with headphones calmed me down. I really recommend though you finding some new music and not listening to that which you listened to prior to DP. Or balance it out, but definitely try to expand your music library and focus on new stuff.

Good luck!


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## Rask (Jun 15, 2011)

Thank you for this post! <3 Love you for it!







Especielly the "I dont give a fuck" meditation!


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## Chun_li (Aug 14, 2015)

Wow! So helpful. Thanks


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