# My story.



## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

I'm not sure how to start this, other than to say that this is my story.

Dp/Dr almost ruined my life. For a month, I lived in a state of constant panic, fear of going insane, the feeling of being over stimulated by the world but also not being able to emotionally experience the world due to lack of any emotion other than the fear that had taken hold of me. Up until that point, I was a social, active, wife and mother, in my mid twenties.

During my experience, I moved back in with my mother. My daughter went to stay with my husband in the state he was working in at the time. I cut off all contact with my friends. I lived on ensure because I could not eat without gagging due to the panic. I had head scans, blood test, Dr appointment after dr appointment. I refused to drive due to lack of concentration. I had vision disturbances known as floaters. My mind felt blank. I experienced migraines and head pressure. I felt, for all intent and purpose, like an invalid. It was the most terrifying experience of my life.

My recovery came after I broke down in the Dr's office. My Dr, who is well versed in mental health, prescribed me zoloft and xanax. I refused the xanax on the grounds of addiction running in my family. After a talk with my grandmother, who has also had dp/dr, I talked to my Dr and added low dose seroquel to my medications. Within weeks, I felt like myself again.

Trial and error over the years has lead me to the belief that I will probably be on this combo for the rest of my life, and I'm okay with that because, at least with my meds, I am able to live a life I love. There are still days that are harder than most, but they are few and far in between. I'm able to calm myself with the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day. There have been times when I've decided to stop my meds, and I've slipped back into the clutches of dp/dr, but never as strong as the first time because I no longer fear it as the unknown.


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2016)

Congrats on your recovery. You're a strong woman.

What does of Zoloft and Xananx worked for you the best? I've been on Zoloft for a few months and still experience DP pretty regularly.


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## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

I only took the xanax for a day or two. I had no response to it other than it making me feel even more out of it. We then switched from xanax to low dose seroquel with the zoloft.

I now take 50mg of zoloft and 25mg of seroquel, unless I am going through a difficult time, during which, I take with my dr approval, 50 mg of seroquel. I am super sensitive to medications and responded well to the lowest doses. My grandmother has dp/Dr, too and she take 150mg of Zoloft and 250mg seroquel, extended release version. Anything less and she starts to experience symptoms again.

I won't lie. Zoloft made things worse before it made them better. It was once the seroquel was introduced that I noticed an immediate change. It was a small one, but noticeable and I saw improvement from that point on until I eventually felt like myself again.

Now, I feel like the zoloft keeps me from being so anxious in general (I've always been a very nervous person) and the seroquel helps me get quality sleep at night and boosts the effects of the zoloft, both I feel, for me, play a large part in maintaining my mental health.


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2016)

Consider yourself lucky you were able to find the right medication and dosage. I've been on 100mg Zoloft for five months along with something similar to Seroquel and I'm still experiencing DP symptoms.

It's like my DP is immune to medication.


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## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

I do consider myself very lucky! I think having someone else close to me who had a very similar experience (my grandmother) allowed me to get treatment very early into the Dp since there was an idea of what I was dealing with, but I also had to deal with some hard issues that I was avoiding outside of dp, too, such as my dad's death that occurred only a few months before Dp kicked in.


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## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

Bosox, please don't give up hope. Sometimes it takes a while to get the dosage/medication right. I saw that with my grandmother. It took them a while to get the right medications and dosage for her.


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## Guest (Aug 16, 2016)

The issue I keep having is that the medication helps for a little while and then I relapse. It gives me a short term boost and then becomes less effective.


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## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

BoSox95 said:


> The issue I keep having is that the medication helps for a little while and then I relapse. It gives me a short term boost and then becomes less effective.


Im no doctor, but that sounds almost like you are experiencing something called,"poop out", where you quickly develop tolerance or resistance to the medications. I've read about it before and have seen it suggested that people (under the guidance of their doctor), who develop a tolerance, cycle the medications that work for them to prevent it from occuring. There have been studies done that are available online if it's something you are interested in reading. Just search for "Antidepressant Tachyphylaxis". It should bring up a few articles.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Did you experience the blank mind/lack of inner monologue?


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## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

mezona said:


> Did you experience the blank mind/lack of inner monologue?


Yes. I remember trying to explain that to my mother and she couldn't understand what that I didn't mean I was forgetting, but that I wasn't able to "think" it in the first place. Reading also freaked me out, because although on some level I comprehended what I was reading, but on a basic level, I felt like I wasn't able to comprehend anything. I couldn't watch TV for the same reason.


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