# stuck



## rosem (Sep 6, 2012)

my question is how do you start feeling like you can be an independent person? how can you start to feel your feelings and not feel it being forced but is actually how you want to be? i really feel horrible about myself so i dont even know where to begin. i want to feel i can trust myself and be able to function normally.


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## wellsiee (Jun 25, 2009)

honestly, how I did it is I faked it until something felt good. It took a super long time, but I got there. You have to force yourself to go out, hang out with friends, get a job... its really, really hard but and it won't come easy. When you force yourself, eventually it will get easier.


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## rosem (Sep 6, 2012)

wellsiee said:


> honestly, how I did it is I faked it until something felt good. It took a super long time, but I got there. You have to force yourself to go out, hang out with friends, get a job... its really, really hard but and it won't come easy. When you force yourself, eventually it will get easier.


ok well I'm at the point where I have to force myself out of bed, and then its like this feels wierd like a huge void and I'm scared of what I have to do. so the first step Im wondering is how to stop feeling scared about doing things on my own and taking care of myself. And then after that I need to know how to be functioning in my life including not being fearful of interactions with people and being able to not feel fearful of leaving the house, and not feeling fearful of my own experiences. so its just a lot right now seems like an impossible thing to reach., any advice? what makes people feel comfortable with themselves and feel like they know what theyre doing. I read somewhere rushing things doesnt help but yeah I guess Ive tried doing that and its just messy and feels scarier too but at the same time if I slow it down it feels scary too.. so what to do??


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## kc1296426 (Sep 4, 2012)

rosem said:


> ok well I'm at the point where I have to force myself out of bed, and then its like this feels wierd like a huge void and I'm scared of what I have to do. so the first step Im wondering is how to stop feeling scared about doing things on my own and taking care of myself. And then after that I need to know how to be functioning in my life including not being fearful of interactions with people and being able to not feel fearful of leaving the house, and not feeling fearful of my own experiences. so its just a lot right now seems like an impossible thing to reach., any advice? what makes people feel comfortable with themselves and feel like they know what theyre doing. I read somewhere rushing things doesnt help but yeah I guess Ive tried doing that and its just messy and feels scarier too but at the same time if I slow it down it feels scary too.. so what to do??


Please go seek professional help. There's nothing better than going and talking to a therapist or a psychologist and seeking help for your problems. You can always change how it feels, and because you've gone on a forum to seek help and trying to seek help, please see a professional so it won't ruin your life and change how you feel from day-to-day.


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## rosem (Sep 6, 2012)

kc1296426 said:


> Please go seek professional help. There's nothing better than going and talking to a therapist or a psychologist and seeking help for your problems. You can always change how it feels, and because you've gone on a forum to seek help and trying to seek help, please see a professional so it won't ruin your life and change how you feel from day-to-day.


I'm working on this right now, trying to find someone as a dr. I'm anxious about that too tho and feel can I do it? I imagine it to be really hard. I'm hoping I can feel alright again.


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## Guest (Sep 7, 2012)

Jesus loves you.


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## kc1296426 (Sep 4, 2012)

nodice said:


> Your advice about seeing a therapist is good. Many people on this forum, and others would be well served with some relief and peace of mind by that action. But I do have to disagree, respectfully, with the above comment. Sometimes you have to live with how it feels.
> 
> Just spit balling here, but if you saw a small, about 6 year old child, smeared out to a blood stain, seeping down into the earth on a dirt highway, hit by Chinese logging trucks on their way, hauling teak, raped from Burma, to the northern border crossing, via Lashio, drivers all hopped up on speed, the child's small body and head just two bumps against their massive tires, dust settling about the blood, in a distant wasteland, some villagers gathering, a mother weeping, in silence, slow motion all about you, as if in a fragment of a dream, a nightmare, that lingers in plain sight, lingers in memory, memory as fresh as the first spattering of blood....
> 
> You don't change how you feel about shit like that, the best you can do is to make friends with it, that is, accept it. The feeling never changes. If it does you cease to be human.


Thank you man I appreciate that, I just hope people really get out there and use every single resource and every method, and try there hardest and work every single day to get better. The more work you put in the more you you will get out of it.

That's a totally different situation though. That's rough and that is a bad situation, but honestly read what you just wrote. Do you think you are depressed or anxious? DP exists when you have anxiety, and DP doesn't exist when you don't have anxiety. So you must have an anxiety problem right now and anxiety & depression go hand-in-hand. Try to get better -- keep trying. Every single day. Things DO get better man, promise.

And you can change how you feel. It's not going to be instant, and it's not a thing you can do with a snap of a finger. But work on trying every single thing out there, try therapy, try CBT, whatever it is. Talk to professionals. Learn about it. Get better. Stop going on this forum and reading things that lose your hope -- because honestly these forums aren't the best for you when you're trying to find hope and get better.

I'm praying for you man, you're going to find the light of the end of the tunnel. Everyone does, and it takes time.


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