# Do you want to have kids?



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I know this is going to seem weird but a year ago, when I filed for divorce and didn't have dp, I knew that if I were to get married again in the future, I'd want one more child. Since having dp I was like "no freaking way" but over the past couple of months, the "urge" has slowly crept in again. Sometimes I'm like "yeah, I'd want another baby" but another part of me is like "impossible". Knowing how hard it is to deal with a newborn and lack of sleep without dp and how hard it is on me when I don't get adequate sleep with dp (My dp goes through the roof if I don't sleep for 8-9 hours), I can't see how it would work out. If my dp goes away, maybe. With dp, no way.

So I was wondering how you all feel for when you're all married and grown up. Do you want kids? Would that depend on having/not having dp?


----------



## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

I'd want kids, but I'd wait a bit when I'm ready to have them so I can be at a point where I'm somewhat healthier than normal.


----------



## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

I never wanted to have kids, and DP didn't change that, I still don't want kids and I don't think I ever will


----------



## junkinmahcranium (Jun 29, 2010)

I want kids. Maybe they'll help my DP.


----------



## Antihero (Oct 12, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> I never wanted to have kids, and DP didn't change that, I still don't want kids and I don't think I ever will


Exactly.Well said.I never wanted kids 100%,but since DP started,i do not want 200%


----------



## weird_artist (Oct 1, 2010)

I already have a 6yr old, still with his dad (officially we are engaged, but not in any hurry to get married, if a child doesn't hold you together, how will a piece of paper??) I am absolutely desperate for another baby! The only things stopping me are money and mental ill-health. I want to finish my education and become a qualified teacher before I have another one, but I think sometimes hormones take over a bit!

We have said we would like to get a puppy next, in about 3 years time,and then think about a baby, but I am already 23, and I don't want to be raising a small child in my 30s (the plan has always been to enjoy a bit of the life we missed as young parents, when our little boy hits his 20s). So I really don't know!

Before anybody judges we were using protection when we got pregnant 7 years ago, and we have always supported each other through the experiences of parenthood, although money has always been tight, our son is very happy and healthy, so I do not regret anything.

So I guess its sort of up to fate! We are using better protection, but I have to admit Iv been feeling queasy for a couple of days, if fate has decided we are going to have another baby, at least we are in a stable relationship and I know we can cope because it would be much easier than when I was 17 (my partner was 21). I guess I would be 24 (when I had it) if I was pregnant, but its probably just the pill confusing my body, or my mind clinging on to hope, lol! It would be nice to know that when I hit 37 I'm totally free of caring responsibilities, but I suppose I would love another baby, I think I am a much better person now, and it would be fun.

All that aside, apart from almost certain post-natal depression, I think the sleep deprivation would be very tough! But I get about 7hrs at the moment, and that seems ok, our first child slept through from 4 months, rarely waking up at all after 6months. Maybe is probably my total answer to this question!


----------



## Minerva8979 (Jan 30, 2010)

Antihero said:


> Exactly.Well said.I never wanted kids 100%,but since DP started,i do not want 200%


lol! I third that. Congrats to all those DP/DR ninjas with children though! You guys are tough.
I have to admit that now that my friends are having kids (at a young age, but still) it makes me want to be pregnant. But then I'm like WTF it's not a puppy!


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

weird_artist said:


> I already have a 6yr old, still with his dad (officially we are engaged, but not in any hurry to get married, if a child doesn't hold you together, how will a piece of paper??) I am absolutely desperate for another baby! The only things stopping me are money and mental ill-health. I want to finish my education and become a qualified teacher before I have another one, but I think sometimes hormones take over a bit!
> 
> We have said we would like to get a puppy next, in about 3 years time,and then think about a baby, but I am already 23, and I don't want to be raising a small child in my 30s (the plan has always been to enjoy a bit of the life we missed as young parents, when our little boy hits his 20s). So I really don't know!
> 
> ...


I was 17 when my first was born too. My ex husband and I had the whole "we are going to have kids young so that we will still be young enough to be able to do stuff when they are out of the house". I was like "I'll be 35 when my daughter graduates high school! Woo hoo! and then when she was almost 6 I had my 3rd baby and was like "Now I will be 41 when my youngest graduates...boo" lol

Anyways, now I'm 27 and single again and wanting to get remarried at some point and have another baby even later in life, so plans change.


----------



## weird_artist (Oct 1, 2010)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> I was 17 when my first was born too. My ex husband and I had the whole "we are going to have kids young so that we will still be young enough to be able to do stuff when they are out of the house". I was like "I'll be 35 when my daughter graduates high school! Woo hoo! and then when she was almost 6 I had my 3rd baby and was like "Now I will be 41 when my youngest graduates...boo" lol
> 
> Anyways, now I'm 27 and single again and wanting to get remarried at some point and have another baby even later in life, so plans change.


hehe, yeah, I know plans change, I think I will leave it up to chance and fate, and see how things go. Although we live in the UK atm, I am hell-bent on moving to new zealand if my teaching qualification is valid there... Not immediately, but within 5 years of qualifying. I think the country just has a higher standard of living, and from the climate I have looked at, it isnt much warmer than where I live, but it is a LOT more stable in temperature, which would do my hypermobile joints some serious good. Who knows, I might wait til I'm 35 and have a kiwi baby


----------



## Antihero (Oct 12, 2010)

Minerva8979 said:


> Congrats to all those DP/DR ninjas with children though! You guys are tough.


Yeah!For me,they're true warriors and must be awarded with a medal or sth!


----------



## Angel_heaven (Jun 1, 2010)

Unfortunately having a child is what brought on my Dp! Its sad because he was my first and now will be my last due to this illness


----------



## Brando2600 (Apr 22, 2010)

I don't think I want kids, I'd be too scared that they might get DP, even though it's not genetic or anything. And if not DP then something else bad for them....


----------



## SherryGee (Dec 2, 2010)

i think i would like to have kids but not yet.


----------

