# 24/7 DP. Desperate.



## Infinitevoid (Mar 25, 2010)

Okay. I'm not a doctor, but I'm desperate to recover from DP/DR. It's unlivable.

Long story short: Always having been prone to anxiety, I suffered major panic attacks one after another for a good year or so. After a three-day (didn't eat/sleep) panic attack at age 20, I found myself with DP/DR 24/7. I'm 22 now.

I used to be hyperemotional (esp for a male). Loving, nuturing, caring.

These days I'm hardly depressed or anxious. I feel little/nothing. I can say or think awful things and it barely does anything. I still live life, work full time, eat right, take vitamins, hang with friends. But I don't feel any of it. Ten minutes ago might as well not have happened. I try so hard every damn day. I fake emotion. I pretend to be normal. Can't concentrate, can't remember.

I feel like someone else's alter ego.









It's been a year and a half. I have a great life. Good job, good friends. But this little black dog following me around...

SO A THEORY.

I think in my major panic attacks, I damaged my brain. I have trouble encoding day-to-day life to memory. Short term is god awful. Emotional memory is almost zero. My theory is that I've damaged my hippocampus. I think this because of the impairment I'm feeling, coupled with it being 24/7 and it being there in absence of continued severe anxiety/depression.

A SOLUTION?

A while back my doctor thought I was ADD (when I explained all this...) and handed me a bag of STRATTERA. I'm praying to whatever god there is out there that this drug stimulates regrowth of the brain cells I've damaged (possibly). It is supposed to encourage more norepinephrine in your brain, and I think this might stimulate the rebirth of brain cells that regulate emotional encoding.

Yes, I'm probably crazy. But it's worth a shot. What'cha all think?


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## Quarter Pounder (Jun 17, 2011)

Hmm, interesting... I think it totally worth's the shot. How are you doing with that? Any changes?


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## Avalanche (Apr 14, 2011)

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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

You are thinking what everyone has been thinking at one point. But I don't believe you're right









Anxiety or any stress, shuts off certain pathways in your brain. It also makes some stronger. So you get less emotional, and more intellectual. It's a survival mechanism of the brain. You have a greater chance of finding a solution to a threat, and you'll be able to make coldhearted decisions to save your life.

Take it from someone who's been down that path your on a couple of times, memory and everything else comes back, you just need to get your adrenalin waaaaaay down again. If you're sensitive to stimuli like it sounds like you are, even sounds can keep you in an anxious state. You've pushed yourself too far, now you need to relax.


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## Hrhr (Jun 23, 2011)

There is no way you damaged your brain by having a panic attack. Even multiple ones.

Think about it:
Panic attack is an emotional reaction that is supposed to SAVE you, not KILL or damage you!
You suspect that thing that was supposed to save you, damaged you instead.
DP is also a safety mechanism - I clearly remember, that years ago, before I even had my first panic attack (now I have DPD 24/7 since few months),
I would feel depersonalized/derealized in very stressful moments... But usually, when such moment occurs, there is no time to analyze this feeling.
Now, years later, while in this state, I remember, that it was DP/DR, but transient.

Suspecting, that you damaged your brain, makes you anxious -> this way sustaining the anxiety loop = DPD active all the time as safety mechanism.
So you fear the safety mechanism. I know DP/DR sucks, I have it too. I feel like I lost my soul. Everything looks 2D or sometimes 3D but surreal. I feel that my past is not mine. My home is not mine. It sucks.

But there is no way you damaged your brain. It's just a symptom, safety mechanism, to protect, not harm you.


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## samiam (Jan 28, 2011)

York said:


> You are thinking what everyone has been thinking at one point. But I don't believe you're right
> 
> 
> 
> ...


wow thats a really interesting theory nver really looked at it as a survival mech ..wht i dont understand though y the DP is still persisting even though ive been on an SSRI for 6 months now..anxiety is down and so did my DR but still here everything seems to be happening 'unconciously' wht they tell me. i dont know


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