# New to this forum...urgent advice needed



## Ddenise31 (Jan 24, 2015)

Hi everyone...I'm a 37 year old female from Malaysia, where there's not much exposure and places to seek help for derealisation, and the stigma of mental illness is still so prevalent here, making it diddficult for me to find support especially for derealisation.

I am now alternating between 2 worlds, feels like my mind is clouded by a dark shadow, coupled with derealised sensations each time my eyes are open, when I wake up. This has affected my day to day, pulling me backwards day after day. Voices in my head keep telling me it's permanent, that every distraction I try to have, comes with the reminder of that detached sensation. The mind just doesn't shut, everything feels like is closing in on me like claustrophobic feelings almost every minute of my waking hour.

How does one cope and survive with derealisation, and will it get better? how do I prevent myself from self destruction? I wish I don't have to live through this feelings of detachment and fear. I hope I can get some advice or anyone who can share similar experience and how you manage and cope.


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## Guest (Jan 24, 2015)

You ask probably the toughest question every single one of us has asked ourselves. How does one cope through this? Honestly, there is no one way to cope, it's a shit disorder that I most likely wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. However, yes, it can get better, and to be honest, the fact that your culture shy's away from mental illness may not necessarily be a bad thing. The all around best treatment for derealization is distraction. Make sure your mind is focused 24/7. It's much easier said then done, but if you're not able to have a stable support system that's the best thing I can say to do. Please let me know if you have any questions, we are here to help and be supportive!

Jeff


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## RiotStarter (Dec 23, 2014)

I was stuck in a depersonalized state for about a year. I overcame it by learning to live with it. The only way out is through it. You must find something to fight for. Eventually it will begin to fade on its own. Remember, this is not an actual disorder. What you are experiencing are SYMPTOMS of anxiety. Anxiety being produced by either a chemical imbalance, your own anxious thought processes, or both. The real trick is, you don't have to do anything. Just relax, and when the anxiety and other symptoms hit, pretend they are not there. Soon you will learn to live with the symptoms, and as soon as you are not afraid of them, they will begin to disappear. The cycle stops when you decide to stop fearing the symptoms which are caused by your fear of the symptoms. It is an annoying paradox that when discovered becomes harmless. Whenever the anxiety hits, don't fight it, allow it to boil inside of you. What i did was see how long i could keep the feeling of anxiety in my chest. I made it all a game, and it lost its power over me. Anyone can do this. You can do it. Once you realize who you truly are, you will laugh at your fears.


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## Ddenise31 (Jan 24, 2015)

Thanks Jeffrey and Riot...guess I'm not alone in this. Yes I agree with you Riot, not to fight it...I realise each time I try to fight against it to be normal, the anxiety comes in. I'll take your advice to let the symptom stay, it's really tough it's been 8 months battling this. Was about to check myself into the psych ward few hours ago...will hospitalisation even help in the first place? What is that one thing you do at first to start coping? Mine keeps coming each time I decided to pluck up the courage to face it and deal with it.its like it's fighting with me ans my being...now I live in 2 worlds in a way.


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## Ddenise31 (Jan 24, 2015)

Distraction helps, but my consciousness keeps coming bac to the symptoms for eg I was washing my car, a reminder keeps coming in to tell me hey there's this sensation again..and then I get all worked up again....how do you deal with it?


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## RiotStarter (Dec 23, 2014)

The worst thing you can do is let it win and effect your life by avoiding certain situations/people by letting it be an excuse. I struggled with these symptoms for a full year. Until I learned to stop "battling" and struggling with them and just left them alone. I imagined myself as separate from the anxiety, so when it came I just let it come and go. I noticed that each time i did this the anxiety would hit its peak and then slowly fade away. Each peak began to be easier and easier to deal with until it went from something that was frightening to just annoying, to something that was barely noticeable and finally disappeared. Don't think because it sparks back up or you have a bad day, or even a bad week, that it means that it isn't going away. I didn't see permanent improvement until the very end. Do not give up. When it sparks up, focus yourself on calm breaths and relax. Drink plenty of water and eat healthy. But don't stress too much, there's really nothing you can do wrong and there is no complicated secret to getting past it. Just be patient with yourself and learn to live with it. When it becomes manageable and you can go through your day without letting it scare you, that is how you know it will be gone soon. Hope this helps and i wish you the best of luck!


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## RiotStarter (Dec 23, 2014)

So my answer is no, do not go to a hospital because they will probably put you on some antidepression/anxiety meds that won't help you, just numb you and prolong your recovery. The best way to cover and cope is to not become discouraged but to have faith, to be patient with, and to love yourself.


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## Guest (Jan 25, 2015)

Unless you're having a major physical health issue, usually a hospital is only going to give you some Valium and send you on your way. Or you could end up in a psychiatric facility. However anxiety can manifest itself in physical ways. For me its my chest, I can tell you my many E.R trips I've made cause of that. You have to try and talk yourself out of it.


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## beefyflamingo (Nov 6, 2013)

Couldn't of said it better than Jeff and Riot. Hangin there, get comfy with it. Look around and tell yourself this is normal "thats a good one that comforts me", you'll be okay mate Welcome to DPSH!!


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## Ddenise31 (Jan 24, 2015)

Wow, thank you so much guys for your sharing....your experiences have helped me put my DR into a better perspective. 
Riot, your advice really helps, I'm now looking at my anxiety as a wave and each time it sparks, I ride it, my DR symptoms dint seem that scary though it still jerks me briefly. I have to look at anxiety as a separate entity too. It's not easy, but I keep trying by letting it come, and go. Believe me, I already wrote this on my wall before reading your post - " let it come, and observe, let it go. Just ride the wave, do not be afraid" strange but you are also advising me the same. Thank you. I'll keep at it.

VET, I'm already on Prozac, been 5 weeks..also olanzapine. Not sure if t really helps, definitely with the depression but not the anxiety and DR. Your right, hospital will just give me Valium or xanax and send me home, it's nt gonna help. I'm also keeping a journal which helps to ground me each time I feel overwhelmed. Am going to make an appt with my neuro just to be sure no underlying health issues. Based on what you mention, I guess recovery from DR means just living with it until it finally fades off because you pay less attention to it...? Did you practice mindfulness? What kind of distraction methods did you use?

Thanks for all the support everyone, I feel like I'm not alone now....it's terrifying to have to go through DR without support.....where most people here don't understand.


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## D'annie (Jul 24, 2013)

Acceptance is the first step once you understand what it is and accept it, you can begin the process of an awareness outside of the unawareness which you begin to learn to believe in, trust and develop.


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