# Hello



## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

My name is Melany, and I'm not sure if I suffer from DR/DP, but here's my story.

I've had anxiety and depression for years, but I've always been able to have a certain degree of control over my feelings. About five weeks ago I was prescribed Busiprone for anxiety. Not knowing that it would react with marijuana, I smoked some with friends and had a terrible reaction from it. I have since stopped both marijuana and Busiprone. About a week ago I started a clinical trial for depression medication. They gave me Lexapro and another pill that they wouldn't tell me about(possibly a placebo, possibly Abilify, possibly another medication). Since the first day I took them I had a terrible reaction again, worse than with the Busiprone. I've had episodes in which I worry about everything, nothing seems real or true, even things I've known my whole life. I can't leave my house, sometimes even my bed. My thoughts race and they're so negative and scattered and I feel like I'm arguing with my mind to just shut up. I get scared over everything and have no control over my thoughts. It's been going on for the past four days and I'm hoping that it'll only stay this way until the medication leaves my system, but it feels like it'll never go away.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Melany. Welcome to the forums. I'd say that the weed wasn't reacting to the medication. I've had panic attacks and got this disorder just from weed alone. From what your describing, i think it is dp and/or dr. Not to be cynical, but most likely its not going to go away anytime soon. I'm sorry you have to suffer from this. I would see a psychatrist and try some meds for it.


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## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

I've gotten to the point, when I get these episodes, that I think I should be institutionalized.

I mean, throughout the day, I am dreary and foggy, but that I can deal with. It is the "episodes" that I cannot deal with.

Should I seek an inpatient?


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

melany710 said:


> I've gotten to the point, when I get these episodes, that I think I should be institutionalized.
> 
> I mean, throughout the day, I am dreary and foggy, but that I can deal with. It is the "episodes" that I cannot deal with.
> 
> Should I seek an inpatient?


I feel for you. When i first got this, i wanted to die. It's gotten worse since than, so i've been really anxious and depressed. I can relate to you, my thoughts are racing, nothing seems real or true to me. I feel like im disconnected from reality and in a dream like state. This thing is so tough to deal with. It can get better with time, or with the help of meds. btw, wuts an inpatient. I'd just go to a standard psych and see how that goes.


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## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

Inpatient is where you go to a mental health facility and stay there, 24 hours. They monitor you throughout the day/night. It's usually for people who are deemed a threat to themself/others. I feel more suicidal than I ever have in my life.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

melany710 said:


> Inpatient is where you go to a mental health facility and stay there, 24 hours. They monitor you throughout the day/night. It's usually for people who are deemed a threat to themself/others. I feel more suicidal than I ever have in my life.


Oh, if you have the money, its an option. I think those are pretty expensive though. If your feeling really suicidal, i'd go to the ER. They'll let you stay the night and probably put you on a fast-acting anti-depressant. Don't kill yourself though, its very possible to get through this. I'm living proof of that.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

wanna go to the chat thing with me? its on the top below the depersonalization community thing. itll be easier to talk about this


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## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

It won't let me, it says it's invalid.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

oh mmk


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## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

I got it to work


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

i know you don't wanna talk about it anymore but... that sounds really sketchy that they would give you a medication to take without telling you what it is... and im pretty sure thats illegal.


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

guitarpwner said:


> Hi Melany. Welcome to the forums. I'd say that the weed wasn't reacting to the medication. I've had panic attacks and got this disorder just from weed alone. From what your describing, i think it is dp and/or dr. Not to be cynical, but most likely its not going to go away anytime soon. I'm sorry you have to suffer from this. I would see a psychatrist and try some meds for it.


stfu! of course it will go away! don't you try pulling down the ones who are already down sucker. Even if you're low doesn't mean everyone else have to be.
Sorry for that..but I can't stand people dragging other people down!


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## Carrie (Jun 10, 2010)

melany710 said:


> My name is Melany, and I'm not sure if I suffer from DR/DP, but here's my story.
> 
> I've had anxiety and depression for years, but I've always been able to have a certain degree of control over my feelings. About five weeks ago I was prescribed Busiprone for anxiety. Not knowing that it would react with marijuana, I smoked some with friends and had a terrible reaction from it. I have since stopped both marijuana and Busiprone. About a week ago I started a clinical trial for depression medication. They gave me Lexapro and another pill that they wouldn't tell me about(possibly a placebo, possibly Abilify, possibly another medication). Since the first day I took them I had a terrible reaction again, worse than with the Busiprone. I've had episodes in which I worry about everything, nothing seems real or true, even things I've known my whole life. I can't leave my house, sometimes even my bed. My thoughts race and they're so negative and scattered and I feel like I'm arguing with my mind to just shut up. I get scared over everything and have no control over my thoughts. It's been going on for the past four days and I'm hoping that it'll only stay this way until the medication leaves my system, but it feels like it'll never go away.


If I were you - I would pull out of any study/clinical trials you're in, especially if you've been using and if you feel really strange. I would go see someone immediately, like tomorrow - preferably a psychiatrist. Tell them everything! Don't leave out any detail. Tell them about the weed. Tell them about all the drugs you've taken (legal or illegal). Don't touch the weed. Once you get everything sorted out with your psychiatrist, have some hope! You can recover from this!


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## Carrie (Jun 10, 2010)

guitarpwner said:


> i know you don't wanna talk about it anymore but... that sounds really sketchy that they would give you a medication to take without telling you what it is... and im pretty sure thats illegal.


She was obviously in a trial. The whole point of a trial is to test what works without the participant knowing what he or she is taking - it's all good science. The participant is informed of the risks of the trial, and goes into it legally. It's not illegal. It's how they get drugs on the market. Was it the best idea to enter a trial a week after doping up - probably not. A recovery is still in sight though.


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## Guest013 (Apr 26, 2010)

DP/DR affects each person differently. For some people it will last a week, for others it will last years. Also, the weed alone could have triggered your depersonalization. Once DP has been triggered, it can be worsened by drugs/alcohol/prescription medications, so it's not surprising that participating in a medication study worsened it. I would recommend to see a doctor, tell them everything. DP can be helped by medication or by simply improving your lifestyle. Talk to a doctor (who knows about DP!) and see what your options are.


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## Rogue Bullies (Jun 1, 2010)

melany710 said:


> My name is Melany, and I'm not sure if I suffer from DR/DP, but here's my story.
> 
> I've had anxiety and depression for years, but I've always been able to have a certain degree of control over my feelings. About five weeks ago I was prescribed Busiprone for anxiety. Not knowing that it would react with marijuana, I smoked some with friends and had a terrible reaction from it. I have since stopped both marijuana and Busiprone. About a week ago I started a clinical trial for depression medication. They gave me Lexapro and another pill that they wouldn't tell me about(possibly a placebo, possibly Abilify, possibly another medication). Since the first day I took them I had a terrible reaction again, worse than with the Busiprone. I've had episodes in which I worry about everything, nothing seems real or true, even things I've known my whole life. I can't leave my house, sometimes even my bed. My thoughts race and they're so negative and scattered and I feel like I'm arguing with my mind to just shut up. I get scared over everything and have no control over my thoughts. It's been going on for the past four days and I'm hoping that it'll only stay this way until the medication leaves my system, but it feels like it'll never go away.


It does sound to me like DP/DR. Since you have only felt this terrible for 4 days give yourself a bit to rest. My first week with DP was hell. I lost 7 pounds in one week and I couldn't eat every time I did I would puke. What you are describing actually sounds a lot like myself especially the part where you tell yourself to shut up lol. It can be really hard at first, but the more you fight with the DP the worse it gets. I suggest seeing a doctor or therapist and tell them the whole story. Sometimes even RX drugs can make it worse. My doctor put me on paxil and it made me feel terrible. That's when I decided I was going to take care of my DP without meds or at least try for a while. The reaction is temporary and even though you feel strange now and like it wont go away it will. Chin up and keep positive. Good luck hun and stay away from drugs.


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## Rogue Bullies (Jun 1, 2010)

Xerei said:


> stfu! of course it will go away! don't you try pulling down the ones who are already down sucker. Even if you're low doesn't mean everyone else have to be.
> Sorry for that..but I can't stand people dragging other people down!


Haha I agree. My dad had it once from a bad trip on weed in his 20's for only 2 weeks. I have only had it for a month and am already making improvement with some work. Another member I spoke to was cured in just a few months. Don't get down and worry when it will go away just take it step by step.


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## Guest (Jun 13, 2010)

Xerei said:


> stfu! of course it will go away! don't you try pulling down the ones who are already down sucker. Even if you're low doesn't mean everyone else have to be.
> Sorry for that..but I can't stand people dragging other people down!


lol... its better to be honest than to give people false hope. besides, i never said it wasn't going to go away, i said not anytime soon. honestly, most people on here have had it for at least a year... so what are the chances its gonna go away in 2 weeks?


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## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

The thing that gets to me, is the fact that I can not control my thoughts. I have had depression and anxiety all my life, and to some extent I could always control it. But when these thoughts come, it's like they're foreign to my brain, and it is impossible to stop them. Over the last two days, though, I have had "mini episodes" that I have used all of my efforts and abilities to try and stop them, and it's gotten a bit better.

I do not mind the fogginess, I can deal with the spacing out. It is these episodes that are killing me. My heart does not race, I don't get any of the other symptoms of a panic attack with them, except racing thoughts. Is this normal of dp/dr?

I am still lucid, I am still there, if you asked me 2 + 2 I would answer correctly, but it would take all my mental cognition to do so. It's like I'm fighting schizophrenia or something. Does any of this make sense to you guys?

And as for seeing someone, I have no insurance and I haven't left my house in 6 days now. The only options I have, and this is horrible, but to go to the ER and tell them I want to commit suicide. Then I could hopefully get some help,because otherwise, I'm not seeing a Dr. for at least a month.


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## ZachT (Sep 8, 2008)

melany710 said:


> My name is Melany, and I'm not sure if I suffer from DR/DP, but here's my story.
> 
> I've had anxiety and depression for years, but I've always been able to have a certain degree of control over my feelings. About five weeks ago I was prescribed Busiprone for anxiety. Not knowing that it would react with marijuana, I smoked some with friends and had a terrible reaction from it. I have since stopped both marijuana and Busiprone. About a week ago I started a clinical trial for depression medication. They gave me Lexapro and another pill that they wouldn't tell me about(possibly a placebo, possibly Abilify, possibly another medication). Since the first day I took them I had a terrible reaction again, worse than with the Busiprone. I've had episodes in which I worry about everything, nothing seems real or true, even things I've known my whole life. I can't leave my house, sometimes even my bed. My thoughts race and they're so negative and scattered and I feel like I'm arguing with my mind to just shut up. I get scared over everything and have no control over my thoughts. It's been going on for the past four days and I'm hoping that it'll only stay this way until the medication leaves my system, but it feels like it'll never go away.


Welcome to the forum.


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## melany710 (Jun 11, 2010)

Have any of you guys had what I described? Do you think they could just be regular panic attacks? My heart does not race, but I can feel it pounding in my head. (when the episodes happen)


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

guitarpwner said:


> lol... its better to be honest than to give people false hope. besides, i never said it wasn't going to go away, i said not anytime soon. honestly, most people on here have had it for at least a year... so what are the chances its gonna go away in 2 weeks?


big chances actually, there's a dude on here who have DR, he got DP from smoking pot, and his DP ended in few days only, and it ain't false hope!


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