# my onset, a new symptom and hormonal cause?



## darkth (Aug 29, 2009)

Hi everyone

I don't visit the site much; on most days it's sort of unpleasant for me to think about the different aspects of it, which I inevitably do when I read posts or books about DPD. It's also frustrating at times to remind myself of the irony when I read posts by drug users, I'm straight-edge since 2003 which means I stopped alcohol and weed COMPLETELY then, after not more than year of experimentation. My onset started April 2008. If I can feel a bit spaced out on eating hemp protein, I don't know if a small amount of 2nd hand smoke may in fact affect me a lot.

I had episodes with traumatic experiences before but when my environment got very stressful last year, I started to depersonalise constantly and there was a gradual onset over a year. I haven't written about it much back then and I struggle to place things on a timeline. I had trouble with faces - my own doesn't look familiar. I lost distinct emotions, a few months apart. One of the 2 happened first, I don't know which did. It became fully-blown DPD this year and I look even less familiar (my facial features seem to change everyday), I started to have serious memory problems and I'm even struggling with grammar apparently. I see I'm not It got worse after I tried some alternative healing methods. I'm trying to go with CBT at the moment. I have spoken about symptoms elsewhere on the board and won't repeat everything here.

Questions: I am wondering whether hormone replacement therapy might make it worse.

2ndly, I've been having a new experience which is neither a nightmare nor a night terror and I can't find a word to describe it from Wikipedia. I wake up with a startle, with fright, and for no good reason - I remember what I dreamt of vividly at that moment although habitually, I don't remember my dreams. Anyone knows what I'm talking about?


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## Flare88 (Oct 22, 2009)

I'm not sure about the waking up thing... I know I used to wake up suddenly and because of my muscles of my back contracting all at once I would jump up off my bed a few inches-while laying down..hard to explain. Probably not what you are talking about.


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## darkth (Aug 29, 2009)

Thanks for your response Flare88, I was starting to wonder if I should feel ignored =} No it's fright that wakes me up. I dunno if this'll help but 4 my back, I got a harder mattress (when I couldn't afford one, the floor was better) and a buckwheat pillow.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

dark said:


> I am wondering whether hormone replacement therapy might make it worse.


i have always wondered if this disease could be connected to hormons?? 
how many of you have a changed hormone level?? maybe taking the anti baby pill? probably we are all gay? or maybe all of us have a testosteron overage? (which can cause tiredness, eye ache, depression, anger, headache, mood swings..


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## darkth (Aug 29, 2009)

I'm seeing an endocrinologist as soon as I find some extra cash. Years ago, I've developed excess oestrogen, then started the pill, tricycling, then progesterone treatment and obscure anti-oestrogen treatments in recent years. While the latter have been the best for my physical health, my appearance has changed in many ways. My face, I'm convinced, changed too. Aside from that I also have some of what is commonly referred to as GID, I have not taken anything wrt that.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

so, could it be that you'd feel different without those pills?


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## darkth (Aug 29, 2009)

I'm not on any pills now and opted for the minimum treatment - 5 days a month. Without it, it would be physically painful and impossible to live without regular surgical operations.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

i don't mean you, i mean "you", well, ?h, 
could it be that all women would feel different without taking chemical hormones = the anti baby pill?


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## darkth (Aug 29, 2009)

Oops sorry, I use 'one' in those cases although people find the associated pronouns confusing.
I guess so, I mean aside from serious side effects, in my case all hormonal treatments have had a mental effect I think. It's a catch22, to know, we'd have to live in a box to have other variables under control and that too would compromise the experiment


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## lucas12 (Jan 15, 2010)

yah i know what u mean man, i just quit smoking weed 2 months ago and i never usualy remember my dreams, but recently ive been having crazy dreams and scary ones, and right when i wake up, i rememebr everything that happenend in them, but i know its a dream : )


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