# My happyend story - READ THIS!



## happyandfirm (Oct 19, 2007)

hi to all

just like Bergman fella, i want to start in this subforum.

i am going straight to the point. as a kid, i smoked alot of weed and used some acid. at the age of 16 (sounds familiar :wink: ?) started my dp/dr trip which lasted for 2 years. 2 years without a second of dp/dr-free thinking. i had all the simptoms described so many times in this forum already so there is no need for me to write about that at this point.

first 6 months were the worst. i thought i was the only person in the world feeling like this and i had to explain my feelings to my family and friends but i just didnt know how to so i talked only about my fears and pounding hearth. of course i hang around people who smoked weed and was afraid to stop so they dont think of me as a weirdo or something. that only worstened my situation.

i stopped smoking weed at some point and finally went to psychiatrist six months after the initial dp/dr attack. i didnt go earlier because i was affraid i was crazy and the whole world would know that. but i just couldnt handle it anymore so i went for it.
he gave me the dp/dr diagnosis and prescribed antipsyhotics. that made my fear of insanity even worse but it was also a relief because my "disease" now had a name and the treatment could start. i think antipsihotics had more placebo efect than anything else because dosages that i took were ridiculous, 4 time smaller than smallest recomended dosage. but anyhow they helped so i can recommend them to everybody.

i also went to religious seminars which i think helped my spirit.

most important thing is that i never stoped living in those 2 years, not even the initial 6 months. i did everything i did before, only without any positove feelings and with constant fog on my perception. and constant fear, of course.

there are loads of small tips and tricks which helped me recover, but this is only my first post 8) .

now im 23 and in last 5 years i had 1 or maybe two dp/dr attacks per year lasting from couple of seconds to couple of days. the thing is i am not affraid when they happen but very happy remembering what i have been through.
at the time i would give anything (i thing Bergman also said this) to make my dp/dr go away and now i look at it as the most precious experience i ever had and i wouldnt change it for anything in the world!
honestly i dont want dp/dr attacks to stop completely because they make me look on the everydays problems from a bright side  . their current frequency is also just perfect for me!

*i know the feeling when dp/dr strikes you is probably the worst feeling in the world, but this facts might be encouraging:
-before my first dr/dp attack i was pretty cranky fella who did all kinds of bad sh*t, my grades in school were pretty bad and i was near dropping out, my self-confidence was pretty low. i was also unfit.
-today im very happy person thinking positive about life, im last year in colledge and im also working full time as an executive officer in one smaller company. my self-confidence is pretty high and im rather fit. i am also a great driver and have more "luck" with girls :wink: .*

to quit bragging i will also be honest and say that i did weed, speed and even cocaine last two years and also drinked alot but i decided to finally give my brain some rest after all the things ive put him trough  .
i stopped doing all of that this time not because i had to but because i wanted to!

this post turned out to be a rather long one after all and im sorry for you guys reading it because i know how hard is to concentrate for you.
i think ill be spending some time on this forum so dont hesitate to ask anything.

i also think there should be a "happyend" sticky topic on "Depersonalization & Derealization Discussion" so that people going through a bad time can read this stories which can i think give them hope!

bye for now 8)


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## therese cowen (Oct 2, 2007)

Thank you for your happyend story. It is good to hear when people do recover - gives the rest us hope. I am almost at the 2 year mark, and like you I have never stopped doing what I normally would do no matter how I feel. So I will keep hoping that I too will recover eventually.
Take care.


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## happyandfirm (Oct 19, 2007)

at the time i had this problems i didnt know about this forum.
in the begining i didnt have almost any hope id get well and even had some suicidal thoughts.
but when the psychiatrist told me it was condition that can be cured, i slowly started changing my thoughts "i will go crazy" with thoughts "i will get throught this" which was i think my first step to recovery. thats why im writing here and i hope i can help some of you guys.

the line between derealised state of mind and realised state is much thinner than it appears to derealised person.

good luck on your road to recovery and i am sure things will only get better with your attitude!


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## DIFFERENTDENA (Nov 28, 2007)

Im new to this but your story has gave me hope. I was diagnosed w/ panic disorder in may and the dp/dr feeling comes along wit it i guess. Im not to sure but its hit me really bad in tha past month. I havent had a doctor tell me that i have this yet but i am pretty sure i do because when i read these forums i think o my gosh thats me. You said that you never stopped living though. I want to do this but it seems impossible. Im also thinking i might have agoraphobia. I want to go to school to be a nurse but there is NO WAY i will be able to until i get over this. It freaks me out so bad. I just want to set at home most the time where i know im safe. I smoked pot too for 3 years every single day. The last two times i did i got the "dream" feeling and had anxiety attacks so i quit. Now i get it w/ out smokin. How in the world did you get out and do things with this??? I am so afraid to. I dont even go with my friends anymore because i get so anxious when im with them.... Any tips?


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## John_EU (Dec 2, 2007)

Thank you for your story, is wonderful, but i dont know, how do you recover? Some plan, therapy or taken medicaments? Do you keep some that?


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