# I feel so dysfunctional



## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

I've put on so much weight, I find it hard to accept myself like this.

There is a part of me that hates me. I find it almost impossible to reason with.

The drink and drugs are getting out of hand.

I really don't respect myself. At the same time though, I just can't take how I feel all the time.

So much of it is like a vicious cycle.

If I keep on going like I am, I'll have no money and no place to live. I feel so hopeless though. I really hate myself.

I have these beliefs that I'm broken and deficient. Fact is though, my fight or flight response is getting triggered constantly so I can't seem to do anything. Literally almost everything triggers anxiety. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this mess.


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

I have realllllly let myself go


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## Guest (May 30, 2011)

Sorry to hear...we all deal with our personal battles with this.

I have found that abstaining from any kind of drug, including pharmaceuticals makes me feel better about my approach towards dp/dr. I am determined to face it head on...no matter how crappy I feel...I do believe in the natural healing powers of the body and the power of positive thinking, putting forth the intention to want to heal..and not beating myself up over small things.

I think that internal dialogue we have going on in our head is so important in undermining or enhancing our progress. Self-reproach, guilt, and shame will keep us down. Being gentle and kind to our self goes a lot farther, easier said than done I know.

The path towards self destruction in some ways seems to be the path of least resistance...doesn't seem to take a whole lot of discipline or work. However turning things around in a positive way and becoming more mindful and aware of your thinking and how it impacts your habits and behaviors seems to be a bigger mountain to climb for some of us..perhaps it is a less developed neural pathway.

In a nutshell what I am trying to say is that despite all the hurdles in front of us...we can turn things around with just a single thought or thought processes. Its about re-wiring the brain during our healing and trusting the process, knowing that dp/dr can be fueled by anxiety and negative though patterns. Taking more drugs and drinking is a dead end temporary fix in my opinion.

Anyway, sorry if I am rambling, we all are in different circumstances, at different points in our progress, and some of us struggle a lot more than others.

We are here for you!! Cheers!


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## Guest (May 30, 2011)

Also, admitting it is half the battle! So the fact that you can acknowledge that you let yourself go is a good thing, that's a step in the right direction!


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Lisa32 said:


> Sorry to hear...we all deal with our personal battles with this.
> 
> I have found that abstaining from any kind of drug, including pharmaceuticals makes me feel better about my approach towards dp/dr. I am determined to face it head on...no matter how crappy I feel...I do believe in the natural healing powers of the body and the power of positive thinking, putting forth the intention to want to heal..and not beating myself up over small things.
> 
> ...


Thank you, that was a really excellent post


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Hey friend. I've been in that situation and am proof you can get out. It's been over 9 months since i've drank or used drugs. I had to SLOWLY take myself off. It was hard as hell and took time but I did it. I don't know what you use and how much you drink but my recommendation is to cut back super slowly. Don't try to quit over night. If you drink 15 beers per day start drinking 14 for a while... then 13... then 12... etc. Make gradual improvements. I think the real reason I quit was because I didn't like the control it had over me. AA can be good for support if you're into that, personally I wasn't but I went to meetings regardless for a while. I didn't like the community but being around people who were sober and had time clean was a plus.


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