# Hi im Victoria.



## xxzombehlovexx (Nov 22, 2015)

So my DP story starts back in early July 2015 it was the first time I experienced it and it went away after two weeks. Fast forward to October 2015, now I spend everyday feeling my DP. Panicking and anxiety all the time, I can't sleep its that bad sometimes. I can't be alone and I have no one to talk to about it. I found this website while looking for self help for DP. Im understanding now mine stems from the fact i got out of a mentally/verbal/physically abusive relationship, my childhood and being raped for 2 years when I was three until I was 5. I guess what I want is support since I don't have much. My boyfriend knows I have it and is supportive but he himself doesn't experience it so Its hard for him to understand how im feeling sometimes. For me DP is like tripping without hallucinations and good feelings. Im just disconnected from the world and myself. Full of panic and anxiety. The only times I don't feel it is when I wake up in the morning and don't move or get out of bed. Even with friends while out and about I get it and have to have the dreaded "what's wrong with you" comments and the internal debate on how to help myself. The constant panic of only being to help myself by entering a hospital or medicine. I feel like I need Xanax sometimes thats how bad it is. Idk if anyone I guess wants to reach out and befriend me and help that would probably make this easier on me.


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## Ludwig (Dec 14, 2015)

Tripping without the hallucinations or good feelings, or a worrying tipsy sensation, on top of that a seemingly unending sensation comparable to that of 'the fear' in relation to the use of pot. Those are definitely one of the better ways to describe it. I know and feel (right now) the journey through gradual recovery from this kind of illness is fucking daunting. Trust me I have a lot of empathy, I don't even have much of a reason to be in this situation but I am and though I'm a day old on this board I figure there's a fair few people that are going through or have gone through pretty much the same thing as you or I.

I've been thinking that perhaps it would be helpful and comforting to have someone to talk to personally who knows what it's like, someone I don't consistently feel underestimates my symptoms.

Mind I ask do you have any ways to talk? Skype or steam or text or whatnot? The offer is there and I'm more than happy to have someone to talk to as well.

It's a shitty feeling but we're all right you know. We're blue skies clouded.

- H


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## h2thehozee (Dec 19, 2015)

Hi Victoria. You put it very well, exactly how I feel daily


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## Guest (Dec 19, 2015)

xxzombehlovexx said:


> So my DP story starts back in early July 2015 it was the first time I experienced it and it went away after two weeks. Fast forward to October 2015, now I spend everyday feeling my DP. Panicking and anxiety all the time, I can't sleep its that bad sometimes. I can't be alone and I have no one to talk to about it. I found this website while looking for self help for DP. Im understanding now mine stems from the fact i got out of a mentally/verbal/physically abusive relationship, my childhood and being raped for 2 years when I was three until I was 5. I guess what I want is support since I don't have much. My boyfriend knows I have it and is supportive but he himself doesn't experience it so Its hard for him to understand how im feeling sometimes. For me DP is like tripping without hallucinations and good feelings. Im just disconnected from the world and myself. Full of panic and anxiety. The only times I don't feel it is when I wake up in the morning and don't move or get out of bed. Even with friends while out and about I get it and have to have the dreaded "what's wrong with you" comments and the internal debate on how to help myself. The constant panic of only being to help myself by entering a hospital or medicine. I feel like I need Xanax sometimes thats how bad it is. Idk if anyone I guess wants to reach out and befriend me and help that would probably make this easier on me.


I hope you're seeing a trauma specialist for the sexual abuse, you really need to get that sorted ASAP


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