# Recovery story - I hope it helps!



## ohsleep (May 6, 2014)

Hi guys, I always promised myself I would come back here and post an article when I managed to recover from my DR, so here I am! Unfortunately I am unable to post in the recovery section so I hope someone moves this post for me.

From the age of 16 onwards I would have the occasional DR episode - maybe once every 4-6 months - but they would only last for a couple of minutes and I had no real idea what they were. I was also prone to the occasional panic attack and bout of depression. I dabbled in the recreational & party drug growing up - MDMA, weed, LSD - but never on a regular basis. Basically, there were plenty of opportunities for serious DR disorder to manifest but it wasn't until last year at the ripe age of 23 that I was afflicted in a crippling way. I had been putting a lot of pressure on my body - lots of study, lack of sleeping, plenty of exercise - and I went out one night with some friends and smoked a joint. I remember it completely flooring me and when I woke up the next morning the sensation of being high just didn't go away.

I spent the next two weeks in various doctor's offices - pretty much every day. My brain was so messed up that I couldn't even feed myself and my mum had to look out for me 24/7. I left the house and felt like the entire world was spinning. I had to drop out of university and stop working. The only slight relief from it was when I would see my boyfriend and when I forced myself to attend my Bikram yoga classes - which I started doing every day and which I strongly believe helped me get over it; mostly because I learnt to be patient and determined through my yoga practice.

Basically, over the course of 2 months I started to get my life back together. I forced myself to go to work and it was so scary initially but I found I felt much better when I was there and focussing on something. I avoided all caffeine, alcohol etc. but found that after a while, when I stopped being so scared all the time, I was able to do all the things I did before. It took me about 5 months to recover to the point I am now - 95% better. Sometimes I get small bouts of it again like when I'm speaking to someone or riding my bike but, and I know this will sound hard to believe, I just don't let it bother me and it just washes over me like a wave. I still feel depressed thinking about that time just because I can't believe it actually happened to me - it's a hard thing to accept, I know. I spent so much time on the internet reading horror stories and success stories related to the disorder.

I guess the best advice I can give is to find something to focus on - someone you love, or a new practice (try 7 consecutive days of hot yoga classes, it worked so well to calm me down), or something more therapeutic like origami and just try to get out there! Small steps though, don't put too much pressure on yourself to be 'cured' straight away. It won't happen overnight. It's a healing process, just like with anything else. Go out to eat in a small cafe by yourself if you're not comfortable with others yet; bring a book, enjoy your own company, or go to the cinema!

I'm enjoying my life now and have so many goals and hopes for the future - I'm back at university - finishing this year - and then will spend some more time travelling. I know you are capable too. I may be a sceptic and a cynic; I don't have 'faith' in much - but I have 100% faith that you'll eventually start to heal yourself of this crippling state of mind. And remember that - your DR/DP is a state of mind; it's difficult to shake, but if you change your mindset and make a deal with yourself to start feeling better then you're on the road to goodness.

Sending all of you good vibes and the warmest of wishes!


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## ohsleep (May 6, 2014)

Thanks


bill said:


> Excellent post ohsleep, that's how you do it, but people won't heed your advice, I can guarantee that my friend.


Thanks, Bill. I understand that a lot of people, especially people that have lived with this long-term, won't be reading this post in a positive light. I found it very helpful to look at the disorder like a sickness - and there is always a healing process to overcome. Some people's are longer than others, but it's important to remember that from the very first moment you're afflicted with DP/DR it has already become a recovery process to 'conquer' it.. because once you have it that's it - it won't develop into something worse and eventually hurt you physically and it won't turn into some other mental disorder. It is what it is with all its symptoms that come and go - you just need to conquer those symptoms and learn how to deal with them and you'll be healed. I know it's not much, but that's a pretty comforting though. I think the thing with long-term sufferers is that they eventually develop depression too, which is totally understandable and I too became incredibly depressed, and that makes it much harder to shake and worsens the symptoms.


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## ohsleep (May 6, 2014)

Selig said:


> Why weren't you able to post in recovery stories?
> Congratulations on your recovery


Thanks, Selig.

It just reads 'you cannot post a new topic' where the 'start new topic' button normally is!


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