# Can DP make you feel like you can't love/have fallen out of love?



## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

And has anyone here had a relationship before the DP and even after they had it? How did your feelings change ? I'm really confused with my life right now..








I look at him and I KNOW I love him but it's like my brain or my heart isn't working.. the feelings for him are DEAD but I KNOW I love him because my situation went like this...

Like out of the blue this happened to me after a health scare. (I freaked out about having hemmorrhoids, I thought it was a cancer or something.. my feelings disappeared right after I calmed down from the freaking out because of the bump. But that's not the only time I worried immensely about my health. I've had quite a few scares even ever since I was a kid.. I'm always so paranoid about my health.. I don't like it when I feel like something's wrong with me) 

I remember tweeting last Jan 22 "This is the best day ever! Thanks babe! I love you so much!" And then the feeling just "MAGICALLY" disappeared EXACTLY a week after Jan 29 is when I noticed I don't feel anything or I don't feel the same anymore... Help! How do I become myself again? Does anyone else feel this way?!

I felt so DIFFERENT after being all mopey about that health scare.. My feelings LITERALLY like DISSOLVED in one WEEK. How can that happen when we didn't even fight or anything? How can I look at the person I've been loving for 1 year and more and suddenly NOT FEEL A THING.

I get so sad, scared and depressed but at the same time still numb. Yes, I get sad and scared but it doesn't feel like the way I felt sad and scared before I got this DP... if that makes any sense... 

It's like suddenly I can't MISS anything or feel PASSIONATE about something like I did about him and even after 9 months or more.. the only thing I thought about when I got DP was HIM.. because I DON'T BELIEVE THAT I FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH HIM BUT WHY IS IT THAT I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR HIM ANYMORE. And it's driving me crazy cause almost everyday I try to find that feeling in my chest and disappoint myself whenever it's not there... I think of him right now and I'm crying as I'm typing this because I really want things to feel the way it felt before.. I want this numbness to go away.. and whenever I'm at somewhere too HOT or too LOUD or the lights are too BRIGHT.. my eyes feel weird and I feel like I'm wrapped in plastic whenever I try to interact with the world. It's like I'm there but I'm not I feel like a ghost but... I don't know how to explain it. it's really hard but my main problem is my feelings that I can't seem to find anymore..

Today,., It's our monthsary.. and I feel nothing.. 
I just want to shoot myself and get it over with.. I need answers..
Do I still love him or is it just the DP? The numbness towards him is driving me crazy because I know that I'm so passionate about love.. about him.. and after that very weird week my feelings started to dissolve and the drive and passion within me died. 

How will I know if I still love him or if it's just the DP making me think that I don't? I look at him and I just want to break down because I'm so close to him yet so far.. I stare at him and I just want to break down because I can't feel anything for the most important person to me.. even our memories seem blurry and I just want to turn back time and start over again.. I had to go through so many hardships when I was with him but I'd rather go through that a hundred times than feel numb for him and lose him and think that I don't love him anymore...

I think I'm going insane.


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

Please stop posting the same thing over and over and over.


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

I've explained this once I'm not doing it again. If you don't want to help, it's okay.. But you didn't need to post if you weren't going to. 
I thought this forum would HELP people with DP.. So what?


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

Nikorii said:


> I've explained this once I'm not doing it again. If you don't want to help, it's okay.. But you didn't need to post if you weren't going to.
> I thought this forum would HELP people with DP.. So what?


And when you post you need to bear in mind that people are not going to want to reply to you with constructive words if you basically spam. No-one will want to help you if they see your post history and realise that whatever they say will not be listened to. It's a waste of time for me and for everyone else here who are quite willing to offer advice, but only if they know that it won't fall on deaf ears. So give up asking, because you have kind of proven to yourself that you are not going to accept a good answer even if you seek it.


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

Lol the irony ^


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

Wow guys thanks for ganging up on someone that just wants help ~
And I thought people needed to be patient with people like us? 
And I'm not SPAMMING.. I don't post a topic every single day you should check the time and dates on when I post..

AND LIKE I SAID, I only post here when I freak out and get scared hoping for some advice that others may have only to get this? 
Great help, guys.


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2012)

It's the same topic every time, I think it is spamming! All I recognise you for is these copy and pasted topics, I haven't seen you post anything else. And there was no need to post two that were practically exactly the same in the space of a few days. Anyway I've made my point, I'm going to ignore this thread now.


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

Please do. Kbye.


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## joxerthemighty39 (Dec 6, 2012)

While self-control is important, anxiety will cause a person to do that sort of thing. Especially if the person has OCD, which is likely in such cases. A friend of mine has OCD, and he will ask me the same questions constantly, looking for reassurance. I have OCD too, so I get it, but I also know that reassurance for one thing will just make him rephrase the question just in case I didn't realize what he meant. This is maddening. However, I understand it, too. It's tricky, because constant reassurance feeds it, because seeking the reassurance is a compulsion. Man, that's confusing. Sorry for the rambling. I guess I'm just saying, somebody in freak-out mode will often seek an extensive amount of help. It's a rough cycle, and sucks for everybody involved, especially the person freaking out.


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

joxerthemighty39 said:


> While self-control is important, anxiety will cause a person to do that sort of thing. Especially if the person has OCD, which is likely in such cases. A friend of mine has OCD, and he will ask me the same questions constantly, looking for reassurance. I have OCD too, so I get it, but I also know that reassurance for one thing will just make him rephrase the question just in case I didn't realize what he meant. This is maddening. However, I understand it, too. It's tricky, because constant reassurance feeds it, because seeking the reassurance is a compulsion. Man, that's confusing. Sorry for the rambling. I guess I'm just saying, somebody in freak-out mode will often seek an extensive amount of help. It's a rough cycle, and sucks for everybody involved, especially the person freaking out.


Maybe I have OCD too. I can't calm down without hearing the answer I want and I ask almost the same question to my boyfriend over and over again like, "It's just the DP right? I still love you right?" Even if I know the answer.. It's like I know the answer but it doesn't STICK to my brain so I forget about it and get get so confused and scared with not feeling anything that I constantly need to remind myself about things..
What do you mean about "constant reassurance feeds it?"


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

"[background=rgb(247, 247, 247)]somebody in freak-out mode will often seek an extensive amount of help."
This is exactly what I go through.. I just wanna feel again and I'm sure I'll stop freaking out and this will all go away..[/background][background=rgb(247, 247, 247)]This happens when I feel something not right about my body too.. I freak out and go to google scared that I might be horribly sick. I think that's what started my DP, well... I'm just guessing..[/background]


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## joxerthemighty39 (Dec 6, 2012)

Well, with OCD, unfortunately, if your compulsion is to seek reassurance, then doing that compulsion will cause your brain to do it more and more. It's kind of hard to explain. Basically, listening to your compulsions and doing what they tell you helps keep you in the same cycle of obsessions and compulsions. It makes things stronger. It's a situation where cognitive behavioral therapy is apparently helpful. One of the things you can try to do, which I know is hard, is to not ask for the reassurance. I know this is extremely difficult. I'm always struggling with it. With ROCD, you might constantly "check" to see if your feelings are real. In that sort of situation, I think the ROCD and the DP feed off each other. It's a mess, and I definitely understand what you're going through. In fact, your posts are what brought me to the site. I looked up "Depersonalization and ROCD" on google, and that was what I found. I said, "Hey, that sounds a lot like what I'm going through right now." I talked to my therapist about it. I said, "I feel numb around my boyfriend, and then I feel anxious about feeling numb around him." And she said, "Do you know what anxiety does?" "Not really..." I replied. "Anxiety makes you not feel your feelings!" My therapist has told me meditation and exercise can be really helpful. Try to do whatever healthful things you can to relax. Read, take a bath, take up a hobby. And remember that feeling numb is just something you're dealing with now. It's a feeling, and it doesn't mean anything, except that you are probably very stressed. Feel better!


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

Really? Anxiety makes you not feel your feelings so much as you feel like you've fallen out of love with someone? So I didn't fall out of lov with him then
Sometimes when I don't feel anxious, I still feel numb.. Would you help me out and ask your therapist about that? Is there anything I can do or any meds you take that will help me recover asap? I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like I don't love him or numb around him when I'd probably die for him..

I've been feeling this for almost a year now and even in situations when I'm supposed to feel really happy.. I can't.. like for my 18th birthday? Everyone I love was there and I was a numb mess. It's scary because I feel like I'm not me! I'm scared that this numbness has STUCK to me because like I said even when I don't feel so anxious... I'm still numb and when I realize I'm still numb that's the time when I freak out again.

Nowadays, I'm numb when I'm around him but then I start to get sad and miss him when he's about to leave or when he leaves me.. and when he's not around.. I just don't feel too good but when I'm around him, I'm not sad anymore but I'm still numb. It's like there's something missing in my chest. It feels empty when I'm not sad. T_T

"I feel numb around my boyfriend, and then I feel anxious about feeling numb around him." - This is exactly what I feel by the way. Could we help each other out and maybe give me some advice ?


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## joxerthemighty39 (Dec 6, 2012)

A lot of times I don't feel anxious, but still feel numb. It's from stress from what I gather. I feel it the most when I get home from work. But I also get it because I stress out over not feeling anything. I think it's all part of it, I'm just not sure how exactly to fix it yet, I'm getting some self-help books on the subject in the hopes that I'll figure this out, but I think mostly I need to just stop worrying about it and accept it.


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