# What is working for me.



## J D

***This is a little long I know, but please read and respond with your own tips. I'd greatly appreciate it.***

Hey guys..i'm new to this forum. I just wanted to share what happened to me while dealing with Depersonalization. I have had DP for a little over a year now. It started with panic attacks and from there spun off into DP. I didn't know what this disorder was for a long time and thought I was losing my mind....as most of you can relate to. That fear fed into the anxiety and made the dp even worse. I never thought I would get out of it...I thought it was my life sentence. About 3 months into the Depersonalization I found out that I had to have sinus surgery. I would have to undergo anesthesia and have a sinus cyst removed. It was a simple surgery and only took a few hours to operate. Well when I woke from the anesthesia, I looked around and everything was unbelievably clear. I was completely clear of DP!!!

Because I felt 100% better, I truly believed that the sinus cyst was causing all of my symptoms (I still didn't know that I had DP at the time). Everyone of my unbearable DP symptoms had completely vanished for 3 months. I went on and forgot about the entire thing....the further I got away from it, the more I couldn't understand how I felt so unreal and like I wasn't in my own body.

On New Year's last year, I ended up drinking way too much. The next morning I woke up with an awful hangover and some feelings of depersonalization. I kept checking in with myself...could this really be coming back?....I thought it had something to do with my sinuses, so naturally I got a checkup and of course everything checked out fine...no sinus problems. So then I began my journey on discovering what this disorder is. I went through the "why me's?," the "why now's," and the "what if's."

When I finally came to terms with what it was I became obsessed with getting better. I ordered every tape and every book I could get my hands on. I went through every program possible...from "Attacking Anxiety and Depression" to "The Linden Method" to the anxietybusters.com's "Depersonalization Cure"...which I recommend.

I realized that you can get caught in this vicious cycle of obsessing over becoming better. This actually feeds the anxiety because you are thinking about how you're feeling at the current moment....which leads to more anxiety...more adrenaline....and you get the picture. I always have seen myself as an overachiever and almost perfectionistic, which has contributed greatly to this anxiety condition. I believed that if I attacked this condition with full force, it would go away in no time. If I'm right in my thinking, most of you are like me....obsessed with getting better. You wouldn't be on here looking for answers if you weren't. And honestly it's hard not to be, especially with the symptoms of DP being so terrifying. But as I am working to climb out of this dark hole, I am learning to LET GO. I am learning to let my mind heal by focusing on ANYTHING except my condition. These are the steps I am taking to get through DP:

1.) Distraction, distraction, distraction: I know you hear this all the time. Do you know why?...because IT WORKS. This is not something that comes naturally. You've created a bad habit throughout the weeks, months, or years you have been in this condition. You have thought about nothing but how you feel. Your mind is exhausted with checking in ALL THE TIME. Distraction is a tool that has to be learned....and the only way to learn it is by repetition.

2.) Diet and Exercise: Everyone on here knows how important these are. Diet drastically affects the way you feel and exercise burns off the extra adrenaline you have produced in your body. These two things are a must.

3.) Stop looking for Miracle Cures: Believe me and ask ANYONE on here....there is not one. After I realized I had DP, I immediately wanted to be put under anesthesia again (haha). Well they don't just do that for psychiatric purposes although I wish they did. But the more I look back on it, the more I realized that the anesthesia probably only mildly affected my quick recovery. The real reason I recovered so quickly is that I truly believed it was gone. I truly believed that the surgery had taken away whatever it was I had. I went on with my life, living normally and not having another thought about the DP for those entire 3 months. This gives me hope just thinking about how much faster we can come out this than previously thought.

4.) Use relaxation tapes or meditation twice a day: You must calm your busy mind. This gives your mind a break and time to heal. Get into the habit of meditation and you'll end up using it the rest of your life...very addicting. Breathing techniques are crucial to you getting over this condition. If you are not breathing correctly (diaphramatically) then you could be causing your own panic attacks.

5.) Act like you don't have this disorder: Live life, with the exception of drugs and alcohol, exactly how you did before this condition began. Not only should you act normally around other people (even your safe person: family, significant other, etc.), but act normal when you're by yourself. Sing out loud, enjoy your favorite hobby, get really good at something. The key here is to trick yourself...and I know what you're thinking....impossible. And for the most part it is impossible....but keep trying....keep repeating....keep distracting.....keep your mind somewhere else besides on how you feel.

6.) No drugs and alcohol: This is common sense, but easier said than done. I personally don't use drugs, but alcohol is tough to turn down...especially in social situations. This is actually one of the toughest steps for me. When I want to drink I think, "Is it worth how I'm going to feel in the morning?..."Is it worth the setback after I have made this much progress?" Then I don't want to drink. I know that I'll be able to have a few beers when all this is over with, but for right now, my body needs this time for healing. This is even tougher if all your friends drink...very tough. If you're like me, you care what other people think of you TOO MUCH. You wouldn't have anxiety if you didn't. But this is YOUR LIFE, NOT THEIRS. This is your time to get better. Don't live for what other people think...you'll live a completely miserable life if you do. 
Same for drugs: for a lot of you, drugs were the gateway that started your anxiety cycle...so why in the hell would you do what got you into this mess? Nough said

7) Live in the Present Moment: "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift....that's why it's called the present." Live your life like it's your last day, every single day. Take notice of things that you normally look over...Trees, birds, anything in nature...peoples reactions, their smiles. Look for the simple things and live life from moment to moment. The past only brings more anxiety....so does the future if you think you're going to have this all you're life. You can look ahead in the future, but do it positively....think about what you're going to be doing when you're completely well. Every thought should be enjoying the present moment and every minute you're given. I know it doesn't seem like a gift right now, but if you take the time to COMPLETELY FOCUS on something other than your symptoms, you can find small windows of joy...kinda nice.

8.) Positive Inner Dialogue: This is one of the most, if THE most important step besides distraction. How do you talk to yourself? Do you beat yourself up with your thinking? You MUST turn off that negative tape that's been playing in your head....."What is this?....Am i dying?....Am i ever going to get better?....Do I have to live this way?....How long is this going to take?....What if...what if..what if.....this is soooooo draining. It drains your energy, your positivity, your chance for healing, and your LIFE. In order to start seeing improvements you have to completely destroy your self-pity. You have to stop believing that the world owes you something because IT DOESN'T. Nobody said life was fair (Everytime I hear that I want to punch someone in the face...I only said it because its true....and now I want to punch myself in the face.) It does help to have a psychologist, it helps to get accupuncture, hypnosis, read books, listen to tapes...but guess what?....it won't cure you. The only thing holding you back from recovery is yourself....you must see it this way in order to fully recover. Take responsibility....it's not your fault....but THERE IS something you can do about it. Nobody else can. 
Talk to yourself with positivity. Talk to yourself with confidence. Talk to yourself with love and patience. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. This builds confidence, destroys your negative inner dialogue, which detroys stress and anxiety, which detroys all of those intoxicating chemicals being released in your brain, which destroys depersonalization for good. FYI: Did you know that for every single thought you have whether positive or negative...a chemical is released in the brain for that particular thought? Thoughts truly are things.....they are REAL....and they can cause physical sickness.

9) Find out your anxiety triggers: What makes you anxious? Is it being around a large group of people? Is it a fear that people will find out what you're going through and think you're crazy? Is it a fear that you are going to flip out in public and do something stupid to embarass yourself? Is it a fear of not being accepted? Is it a fear of not being perfect? Is it a fear of not ever getting over this condition? What brings on your anxiety and causes your DP to become even worse than it is right now? When you find out your triggers, work on them. Expose yourself over and over and over to those situations. Teach yourself that those situations are not harmful. You must understand yourself and why you act the way the do before you can move forward.

10.) Learn to Ignore: Throughout the process of slipping into Depersonalization you have become Sensitized. This means that normal feelings in the body...twinges, spasms, twitches, plus ALL of your anxiety symptoms become way OVEREXAGGERATED. They become mountains instead of the ant hills they once were. Then, when they come into your awareness, they produce even more anxiety, which produces more adrenaline, which produces more symptoms, more anxiety....You can see how Anxiety is just one big cycle. That is the very reason you feel like you're never going to get out of this....you are in the middle of the cycle. And...if you don't jump out.....then you will be in this forever. When a dizzy spell hits you...just think "Man that was wierd"...and here's the secret....LET IT GO. Don't think "I'm getting worse, I can't function like this, This sucks, I hate my life." All these negative thoughts only fuel the anxiety cycle and make your day much worse than it has to be. 
Another thing that fuels the anxiety cycle is thinking about how wierd the DP feels. If your looking at something and you think to yourself.."Holy *^%& that doesn't look real, I feel like I'm dreaming, I can't remember ANYTHING, I think I'm losing my mind, Am I going to start hallucinating?, I don't even recognize my parents, girlfriend, boyfriend, myself, etc., I feel so hollow. You can guess what these thoughts do....these are the most negative thoughts you can have because they are relating directly to your condition. These are the thoughts that keep you where you are. You must stop the thought when it comes to you and distract, use positive inner dialogue, or do something that will take your mind off of these thoughts....they are self-destructive.

KNOW THAT THIS TIME IN YOUR LIFE WILL PASS...God didn't make us to go through life in complete and total fear...he made us to be happy, to create, to enjoy life, to help other people along the way. Consider this a wake-up call from God Himself telling you that all of your life you have had underlying FEAR. You have always had anxiety....it's just now surfacing. He is giving you the opportunity to truly open your eyes and really see what is going on in your life....Let's be honest....would anything else have slowed your life down besides DP?....Nope. This is a chance to GROW and to become someone greater than you have been you're entire life. This is an opportunity to change your life for the better forever. If this blessing (hahaha) hadn't had hit you square in the face, you would have never reevaluated yourself. You would have never thought twice about your lifestyle, how you thought, how you acted, how you talked to yourself. This is it....this is your chance to change.

Please respond with any other tips you have for overcoming DP....I know that every single one of you can overcome this. God does not give us more than we can bear...although in this time it seems like it. But within everyone of you are the tools, the drive, and the desire the get better and come out of this. This is not a life sentence, this is not your cross to bear, this is your opportunity to change. I wish you all the best.


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## Muutosjahdissa

Hey,

this text is over a year old but it is very timeless. I think everyone with DP should read this text over and over again.


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## lavieenrose

I'm glad this went up again. I have it saved on my blackberry and read it when I am having a DP/DR fit. Definitely one of the best posts about getting well.


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## jimmyb

Thats probably the most helpful DP tip I've ever read!


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## meghan28

Thank you so much for sharing this. It really is a wake up call and helps me know that everything will be fine, even if it isn't an easy road.


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## AlexXD

This gives me hope. I could care less how long the DP lasts (although the sooner gone the better!) as long as it _eventually_ goes away!


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## York

Hi, thanks for taking the time to write that down, I think you are right and that this is THE way out of DP.

I was really surprised to read that someone else has experienced the same as me; getting out of the DP as a result of *undergoing anesthesia*.
I'd had DP on an off for five years when I had surgery, and to my amazement I did'nt feel sick or dizzy like the nurses told me I might feel after waking up, I felt great! I felt better than I'd done in years!! It took a long time for me to get any symptoms back, and then it was more DR not DP. I haven't had DP since then, it's 8 years ago now, but I suddenly got it back 6 weeks ago.. Anyway, I've always wondered if the reason people get better from ECT is the anasthesia and not the "shocking", does anyone know if this has been researched? I think the key is relaxation anyway, so go meditate, and give yourself a break.. :wink:


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## psimonel

GREAT POST... in all its parts! Just hope it will find eyes to see, ears to hear...


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## seanhunta

brillaint post truly inspiring, every thing said made sense. made me laugh about punching yourself in the face haha


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## link459

Thank you very much for the post, it calmed me down so much it kind of creeped me out.


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## Guest

link459 said:


> Thank you very much for the post, it calmed me down so much it kind of creeped me out.


My friend had that little dancing man with the yellow head as his avatar on another forum I go on, always makes me giggle


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## hurricane12

good posst


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## hurricane12

we need more topics like this some one should sticky these


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## Scott.S

This is a great post! JD could not have written it any better!

I got this crap after trying out for the first time an Anxiety Medication called Buspar... I was only on it for 4 weeks and right from the start I knew this drug was not going to work for me. I had lots of side effects and a horrible WD when I came off of it. Half way into taking the Buspar I had (for the first time in my life) a Panic Attack and things have never been the same since! My luck I finally wanted to address my Anxiety which I have had for a long time (Since I can remember) and I get stuck with this condition. It has taken me a year to finally understand this DP and I now accept it and understand that it is forcing me to finally work on myself and not to ignore all of my bad habits that have gotten me to where I now am. The one thing that we must do is work on ourselves during this time. Yes we must try to not dwell on the DP and focus on other things. But it is critical to work on the things that got us into this mess so when the time comes and the DP leaves us we will be prepared to deal with life in the proper and healthy way!
This crap wreaked major havoc in my life last year and due to my fear of it I found myself in the Psyche Ward three times! And in the Beginning of Jan 08 I tried to take my life over this! The anxiety had gotten the best of me and most of all the depression had set in and my mind would not let me see a way out of this! But thankfully I have been able to turn things around for the better I went back to work after 6 weeks being away and resumed to going on with living my life regardless of how tough it may be. I believe we are being made stronger and better from this experience. Don't get me wrong I will never embrace this DP but I will no longer fear it and let it determine how I?m going to live my life anymore! I now accept my situation and that?s half the battle! The main feeling I have always had was just being so spaced out, and a higher level of anxiety. But I have learned to go with the flow now; I keep myself in a calm and relaxed mode all of the time now, not letting the DP mess with me! I think what our problem with this DP is that we want to see the symptoms go first and then we tell ourselves we will then do the work on ourselves and make the needed changes. But it does not work like that! We must do the work first, be patient, and most of all change our mindset and attitude. Then we will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel! I now have the mindset that it takes to beat this and I know deep inside that it won?t be long until I?m rid of this condition once and for all! We cannot just sit around expecting it to go away on its own; we have to put the work in too! And most all we must get on with living life again and not letting this DP hold us back! Back in Jan when I was in the Psyche ward once again after my suicide attempt, I could not see how I was going to turn things around, but it just took some time and learning how to take things day by day and most of all changing my mindset and attitude, and most of all understand that this condition is not a life sentence, its only temporary and when the time is right it will go away! In the end we all will have such an appreciation of life from this experience and never take things for granid ever again! Put the work in! Use JD?s post for inspiration as I will do the same! Just know that we will get through all of this, but we must be patient with ourselves.


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## naera

THANK YOU SO MUCH for these motivational words! I was having a really bad dp day today, but this made me feel all powerful like, hell yea, I can beat this!  You rock.


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## Scott.S

Your Quite Welcome! I want to inpire people to beat this and we can, you must believe it in order for you to see it!

Yes this is a tough thing to live with , but it can be done. Remember it is only temporary! And it may apper that the DP is in control but in reality we are the ones in control! We do hold the key to all of this...

The biggest thing right now is to work on what got us here. The Anxiety! I tryed to address my Anxiety by taking Meds ( for me it was a BIG mistake) I learned my lesson the hard way, but I did learn my lesson which is the Important part. From July - Jan I had my fill of Meds and I did not get anywhere from them. So I stopped Everything in late Feb and feel much better being off all of that stuff. I know for some people they find results and peace of mind and I respect there choice, But I know now what I am up against here. This Dp is all about Annxiety and just like I was told by two of the head Phyciatrist when I was in the Hospital " Get rid of the anxiety and get rid of the DP" People who have gotten rid of this crap did not do it by Ignoring the DP so much as getting rid of their Anxiety! Sure first thing we need to do is stop obsessing over it and letting it control our thoughts all day long. But Second we must work on ourselves! Before I had this DP I wanted to address my Anxiety so bad , but not bad enough and I let it go and things got worse ( And they will, if one does not accept that their anxiety is ruining their life) I was not motivated before , but now I have a fire lit underneath me and I no longer need to be motivated anymore. Like i said ( I think in my post ) I don't want to go back to normal , because normal really was not that good when I now look back. I want a better quality of life, I want to enjoy it and before I was just getting by for the most part. Don't get me wrong I was happy but The Anxiety was taking its toll on me. OK back to the Meds once again ... I believe Alot of people go down this Ave because they have not been given the tools to address their Anxiety or Depression. Doctors just are to quick to pull out their pads and start writting away. Hell do you ever hear a Doctor say hey why dont you read these books or download this Audiobook ect.. It just is not going to happen! These drugs only mask the symptoms, they are still there but your brain has been altered as to not notice anymore. And hek most will not work or you will have hellish side effects and in time they wear off in the end and you have to start over again! My experience with these drugs was not good to say the least! Hek it was a Nightmare for me!! We have to to charge of our live once and for all, we have to step up and be willing to do the work that it takes! Sure its going to take time and I would say all of us have time to give and would be willing if they knew tey could be succesful in beating there Anxiety or Depression for good? Im learning this all too well right now, habits are hard to break but in time they will be broken for good! Question: What is the root of our Anxiety? I asked myself this many times WHY AM I LIKE THIS! The answer : Its how we THINK , Bottom line! I welcome anyone on this site to debate me om this... Anxiety is a learned response a habit if you will. Here is the Key ! Figure out what your triggers are and write them down, find out what is common about them and determine the pattern. Then start breaking it down further to specific areas. Then Its time to start catching yourself when you are practicing your BAD Habits and replacing them which new GOOD ones! Keep a close eye or should I say ear and track what you are thinking, when a situation arises catch yourself try to replce that thought on the spot with one that is the correct one. We all act on impuse are actions or thoughts are reflexsive which means automatic.... We have to step in evey now and then and work on our response to certain situations. Basicaly what Im trying to say hear is we often are on auto pilot and that is not always good and sometimes we have to take a step or two back and look at ourselves and question are actions or reactions!! Raise the bar for yourselves dont accept being ok, normal, just getting by strive for more ! We all deserve the BEST and we only go around once. This is not a dress rehersal , this is the real thing !! We all need to do our homework and the assignment is Working on ourselves with the goal of Controling are Anxiety and thus lossing this DP for good. " ONCE WE START WE CANNOT STOP" We have to Practice this everyday and even when we think we have mastered it and we are out of the woods we still have to keep the petel to the metal for the anxiety will creep right back in on us! And then who knows DP Again? No way for me Im getting out of this condtion and no looking back!


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## gnarlsbarkley

this is a great post it outlines all the major things that lead to recovery the guy clearly knows what he is talking about!

I like the fact that he has talked about aviodance behaviour because this is one of the biggest courses of the worsening of these symptoms. Experiental aviodanvce (avioding one's own experiences) is the worst thing you can do! although it is the natural human response! ACCEPTANCE is the key to recovery!

good post


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## therese cowen

Hi,
I know this is over a month old, but great post. I have read another two really good posts in the Recovery section, and will print the three of them out to refer to when having a particularly bad day. You say anaesthesia cured you for a while. It was the opposite for me, anaesthesia was what caused this to happen to me two and a half years ago. Anyone else had any connection with anaesthesia and DP.

Therese


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## recover

THIS IS A FANTASTIC POST. EVERYONE WITH DP SHOULD TRY THIS WITHOUT GIVING UP AND CURE WILL BE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.


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