# How to be cool



## Harsha (Jun 6, 2012)

Steps 
Self-Awareness 
1.Be aware of how others will perceive you. There's a difference in letting people's judgments affect your [[Develop Self Esteem|self esteem]], and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure; be smiley, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), [[Smile|smile]] generously, [[Be Polite|be polite and considerate]], etc. Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; analyzing body language can be a useful tool in knowing how to present yourself.

2. Be yourself
It will be something that other people will look up to. You are unique, and you don't need to join a clique. Make your own friendships. Being cool is being ''yourself'' in an outgoing way, even if you are quiet but not sullen and passive/aggressive. Don't try to be like anyone else. Live life for who '''you''' are. Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, its about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are. Seriously. Constantly telling yourself that you are a crap socialiser creates anxieties that play on your mind the next time you converse with someone. You then focus on said anxieties, and the whole thing becomes one big cycle of self-fulfillment.

3.practice self disclosure. The more you disclose yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure is both the conscious and 
subconscious act of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to, thoughts,feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.remember that people are your equals. Even a group of people is equal to you. If you're talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, the president of the United States, or an attractive guy or girl, for example, remember they are neither better than you or worse than you are. They should be treated as you should be treated. Be respectful of other people, but expect that they will accept you as such. When someone is 
disrespectful to you, ignore them until they figure it out. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks. There is a reason that they didn't show respect towards you or the person didn't do what you asked of them. It may be because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were disrespectful towards them, or because they were never taught the correct way to act around people. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.

Present Yourself
1.present yourself in a positive way. Walk with [[Improve Your Posture|good posture]] and [[Look People in the Eye|look people in the eye]]. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't [[Earn the Respect of Your Fellow Peers at School|respect]] you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need. Don't walk too fast either because it looks like you are

2.Smile
Be a habitual, unrepentant over-smiler, with every grin being a genuine one. If you smile when you meet someone, you instantly appear confident, friendly and relaxed. Confident, friendly, relaxed people are much more appealing than their uptight compadres.<ref>http://sprinkleofginger.com/how-to-be-socially-adept/</ref>
#[[Get Fit| Be fit!]] Most people at school who get picked on are usually either fat or they smell gross, so run and keep in good shape. Eat healthy too. Know that you will never be able to please everyone. Try hard, but don't be so concerned with judging yourself or being judged by others. People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you enjoy.
# Practice decent hygiene. Be sure to brush your teeth every morning and every night. And whenever you can, even after lunch. Wear perfume (if you're a girl) and spray on a bit, '''just a bit''' of cologne (if you're a boy). Shower every day [strictly important] and wear deodorant(optional). Also use lotion so that your skin is not like ash and a good idea is to wear chap stick.You should wash your face every morning to keep fresh and pimple free.

[[Image:Be Cool Step 6.jpg|center|550px]]

=== Be An Individual ===
#Understand that some people won't get it. While it feels amazing to dazzle people with your quick wit, sometimes you will meet someone who just doesn't get you. They'll look at you quizzically and ask you to clarify what you thought was a cuttingly observant pop-culture reference. Doesn't matter. What's fascinating about humans is that they are so diverse. Senses of humor vary wildly. If you're getting blank looks, just be polite, excuse yourself, and chronicle any embarrassments later in a stand-up comedy routine.<ref>http://sprinkleofginger.com/how-to-be-socially-adept/</ref>
#Don't just think about it - do it. It's all very well to read books and blogs about self-improvement, but you have to actually get out there and apply the theories that resonate with you. Do it! It's scary but so, so invigorating. Who knows who you'll meet and what they might be able to offer you? (Fun, intellectual stimulation, a pony ride, a job&#8230<ref>http://sprinkleofginger.com/how-to-be-socially-adept/</ref>
#Trust your friends. There's a reason they hang around you. The personality traits you despise in yourself may be the very quirks they find endearing. Let them decide instead of presenting an incomplete version of yourself to the world.<ref>http://sprinkleofginger.com/how-to-be-socially-adept/</ref>
#Don't be afraid to be [[Make Your Personality Stand Out|different]]. Whether that means standing up for yourself, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument, try to be different and stand out. The ''coolest'' people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo. Insecure people will, at times, become jealous of you. These people will try to get to you, in an attempt to take the attention off of you and bestow it upon themselves. The important thing to remember is not to smile in weakness, just ignore them. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks.
#[[Speak Up|Speak up.]] Observe people who are "cool"; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't chatter rapidly, pause, say uhh, umh..., or mumble. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. [[Be Confident|Be confident]] in your word and don't let anyone try to change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry. You said what you felt and people will respect you for that, '''unless''' you say it knowing it will offend someone. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.
#Be friendly, but not excessively eager. Everyone loves someone who is outgoing, but nobody likes someone who is overly excited. Many people find someone who is overeager to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive.

[[Image:Be Cool Step 12.jpg|center|550px]]
#Be a good conversationalist. Everyone loves someone who knows what to say at the right moment. Don't be a conversation dominator. You don't need to share a similar story at every setting. Just listen and comment briefly on the other person's story. Most of the time, it is much better to be sort of quiet and analyze the conversation, enjoying the humor of your friends and being a good listener. Most people want to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation concentrated on others, then people will love to talk to you. Then wait for the right moment to make a comment, usually to great result. However, if you come up into the middle of a quiet group of people, it is better to take a Tony Stark approach. Be playful! Joke around with them. Making fun of people is fine, but make sure that you know the limits on it and that the people you're around are the kind of people who know you're kidding.
#Refrain from using too many colloquialisms. This may make you appear as "fake" or unable to grasp your respected language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently (see #6) and if you feel it is necessary adopt a more formal register and use polysyllabic words. However do not go overboard as this may make you appear pretentious, this being just as bad as seeming fake. Finding the right balance in your speech is important to making you seem intelligent and somewhat sophisticated in the presence of your peers.
# Use humor. Cool people always use humor and ease in any situation. They don`t get annoyed and angry, and no matter how many bad things happen to them they don't take it too harshly; they make jokes about it. They have excellent emotional awareness and they don't let bad emotion affect them, they have awesome emotional control and understanding.

[[Image:Be Cool Step 15.jpg|center|550px]]
#*Learn how to [[Make Yourself Laugh|laugh]] at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to [[Trip and Fall With Minimal Damage to Yourself and Your Ego|find humor]] in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.

=== Look Cool ===
#Look cool; it's a science. To look cool, non-phased by opinions, you have to not be stuck up visually but be right mentally. You have to be smart, but not a ''smartypants'' (making others feel bad about themselves), strong and quick but not scornful of those less skilled. When someone brags they lose coolness... don't brag. It's simple.

[[Image:Be Cool Step 16.jpg|center|550px]]If you don't think your smart or don't feel smart try to think why you think/feel that way. Stop comparing yourself to others, and try studying to get smarter.
#Dress how you want. As long as your personality shines through, you can wear whatever you like. Guys have been known to get girlfriends even though they wear sweats all the time. Some of the dorkiest, "uncool" guys are known to get girlfriends because everyone has a different perception of cool. That is definitely an affirmation of coolness. Being cool despite wearing something people generally make fun of.

=== Keep Your Cool ===
# Keep your "cool." The very definition of cool is being calm, composed, under control, not excited, indifferent, and socially adept. Many times, cool people are those that don't get excited about things, that don't always have to talk, unless they have something cool to say. Learn how to deal with people. Don't get angry or frustrated. Being cool is natural. It's easy to do. Often times, the people who strive the hardest for coolness are sabotaging themselves by trying ''too'' hard. People like people that don't try, but are still successful. How does that work? One of the secrets of being cool is that, when one is just between trying and not trying at all, things just fall into place. [[Be Confident|Be confident]].
#*Write a list of all the [[Motivate Yourself|goals]] you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
#*[[Do Deep Relaxation|Take a deep breath]]. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. [[Calm Down|Stay calm.]]

=== Bad Behavior is Not Cool ===
#Don't use bad behavior to get attention. There are many young people that take up smoking, drinking, bullying, and other bad habits. Most often, this comes from negative reinforcement. After doing something bad, a person may be "rewarded" with attention. "I can't believe he did that!" people will say. It is easy to misinterpret attention as popularity, even if it's for doing something wrong. If you want to be cool, you need to know your limits. You should never substitute negative attention for really being cool. Most of the time, the people who have bragging competitions about law-breaking and bonging beer do not fit into the category of cool. If a group of people doesn't like you for who you are and the lifestyle you've chosen, move on.

[[Image:Be Cool Step 19.jpg|center|550px]]
#*Don't do drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without the influence of drugs and alcohol.
#*Don't smoke- it won't make you cool- it will make you smell bad. Other smokers won't notice the bad smell because they smell the same way. When you smoke you will most likely hang out with other smokers, and this limits your selection of boyfriends and girlfriends because most non-smokers hate the smell of smoke and won't want to be around you. Don't judge smokers- just don't take up a habit you will eventually pay someone to help you quit.
#*Never argue. When you're cool, arguing is always canceled. You realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you're right you just know it. You don't need to waste time, effort and energy by attempting to persuade someone who hasn't seen the things you have seen.


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## Harsha (Jun 6, 2012)

Too long isnt it i would say in short to be cool u hav to be cool


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## Soundless Silence (Jul 4, 2012)

I expected reading something along the lines of "...then just be like me." after I checked out this thread, but props for giving actual advice haha. Although trying to 'be cool' is something that will come of as unnatural to most people trying to do it - "Be yourself" pretty much sums it all up


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## SSJ3Lotokun (Nov 21, 2011)

Following a list of specific instructions on ow to be cool seems to be the antithesis of what cool is all bout. Then again that word has come to mean so many things to so many people that I'm not sure what this article is really trying to say. It should be retitled "How To Gain Favor With A Specific Social Majority".

I've never had a grasp of societal norms, done pretty much the exact opposite of everything that article lists, and still had people tell me I was cool without me really trying at all. Don't understand any of it.


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