# Is the recovery process supposed to be this painful??



## Sueallan (Apr 5, 2014)

Hey you guys. Is the recovery process supposed to be this painful?? I've been trying my absolute BEST BEST since october and it comes back FULL ON. Now i get a major anxiety attack every month. I can't handle it anymore its exremely painful

I've read and read about this and tried ALL the necessary steps but it keeps kicking me in the balls (if i had any, i'm a girl)

How do you cope with it when it gets really tough?? How do you keep your hopes up


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## tmarrow (Feb 2, 2014)

For me, recovery has been the hardest thing. It has gotten easier over time as my DP has leveled off, but in the first few months I was constantly on the verge of a panic attack and had a tough time just . The best advice I can give is a.) to have hope; you might not be able to see the end of the tunnel, but it's there, b.) keep your head down and just keep going on with your life. Though this is an impossible standard just do your best to not think about things and just push through. You'll find that you have pools of strenght that you never knew you had. Also, family support and resources (meds and therapy--or even talking to a friend/family member) can be essential. I recommend looking at recovery tips in this forum; there's some great advice to be found.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

Fearless said:


> What you mean by trying your absolute best? what you do exactly?
> 
> It's a great thing to put all your energy into something, but you also need to put it into the RIGHT thing, or you'll get more disappointment.


I really don t get you. Do you know what the right thing is? Why don t you tell us? You said you are recovered. You really irritate me, even I can t feel my irritation. You don t seem to be supportive at all, people here need support. You contradict everyone.You ask everyone what do they do exactly, but you don t give any alternative. People here are really trying to survive.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

Fearless said:


> I write a blog that has 90+ posts which are ALL ABOUT me giving the best of my knowledge on recovery. It is far the most successful blog on this site. Are you SURE I don't give any alternative? What the flying fuck are you talking about? Come on.


I can t feel my body and myself and my memories are gone. can you perceive how numb desperate I am? What blog?


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## Sueallan (Apr 5, 2014)

Fearless said:


> What you mean by trying your absolute best? what you do exactly?
> 
> It's a great thing to put all your energy into something, but you also need to put it into the RIGHT thing, or you'll get more disappointment.


I've been trying to keep very calm about the sitatuion. I don't give in to my thoughts no matter how bed, i diregard and accept them. I try to get through the day by forcing myself to keep active and not sit in bed all day and cry.....This is really hard for me because the only feeling i have is one to take my life. Its horribaly painful but at the end of the day i tell myself, tomorrow might be a better day...and i try my best to make it one.

This has been my cycle for more than 6 months...i'm far from cured but the pain keeps building up . Do you relate?


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## Guest (Apr 9, 2014)

Depersonalization is caused by traumatic memories we've pushed away out of consciousness (a lot of pain, and feeling our self-worth was at risk).

Sadly, that's where the real pain is.


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## Sueallan (Apr 5, 2014)

Did any particualr meds help with you? I ive been gradually brinign up my dose because it os unnafective.....


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## Guest (Apr 10, 2014)

Sueallen.. question. Do you know why you have dp?


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## Sueallan (Apr 5, 2014)

Malcolm said:


> Sueallen.. question. Do you know why you have dp?


No idea, probably from so much anxiety and anxiety attacks. Constant thoughts and stress that mad dp step in to calm me down i suppose. Thing is sometimes i'm quiet happy and back to my old self but it still persists....


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## Guest (Apr 11, 2014)

Sueallan said:


> No idea, probably from so much anxiety and anxiety attacks. Constant thoughts and stress that mad dp step in to calm me down i suppose. Thing is sometimes i'm quiet happy and back to my old self but it still persists....


Hmm.. it seems to make it a bit more difficult when people don't know why they have it. I suppose you need to try and learn why you get triggered and get dp'd. Try and take notice of what's going on when dp hits you. That'll be your first clue. Then start digging a little deeper. Ask yourself why certain things trigger you and you'll be surprised what you find. It takes time and you can't rush it, but if you try, it'll happen and you'll begin to get some ideas. Be gentle and kind to yourself though.

To give you an example to finding triggers.. I found being around people who drank too much alcohol and became a bit obnoxious was triggering me. I ended up moving away from people like that, and I was surprised how much more at ease (and less dissociative) I was. I found more healthy people to hang out with.

Hope that helps a bit..


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## buzzcutseason (Dec 2, 2013)

I'm beginning to feel like my brain is swollen, my eyes are going to pop out of my skull, my back hurts, the back of my head hurts, my shoulders hurt, my throat feels swollen all the time, my feet vibrate, my stomach hurts, I can't think straight, I feel trapped in a bubble, I feel like I'm living in a dream, my quality of life is 0 to none, and I want to just blow my brains out. Seriously I was a straight A student, the President of clubs, took 7 AP classes, and now I want to shoot myself just to die and live peacefully in heaven. I don't know what is wrong with me.


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