# Rudy inspired me....video



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

The picture was a lot better on my laptop. Youtube really compressed it. Oh well.


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## Brando2600 (Apr 22, 2010)

Kinda brings me down...


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## submerged (Aug 29, 2010)

ValleyGirl said:


> The picture was a lot better on my laptop. Youtube really compressed it. Oh well.


I am feeling the same way. I was feeling much better and then I started worrying about work. Now I feel like a walking zombie again. I get moments when I feel better and then I go back like I am in a heavy fog. Thank You for sharing on the video it takes a lot of courage to share how you feel.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Brando2600 said:


> Kinda brings me down...


Why?


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## Brando2600 (Apr 22, 2010)

ValleyGirl said:


> Why?


It focuses for the most part on how bad DP is.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Brando2600 said:


> It focuses for the most part on how bad DP is.


Well the point of the view was to talk about how I've been feeling.............


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## Brando2600 (Apr 22, 2010)

ValleyGirl said:


> Well the point of the view was to talk about how I've been feeling.............


Oh sorry, I missed the title. I thought the whole thing was supposed to be a pep talk.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Nice.


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

I think this is a good thing. Funnily enough i was actually thinking about doing something like this myself it my help you get it all out, in a different way than just typing it out and you can bookmark the video for next time (if there is a next time) and watch that video if you full down again. It might remind you that you were there once and felt better, so i can this time. There is also a large DP community on youtube, and a large sum of them recovered. I remember before i found this site, while i was browsing through the videos. The video of you upset me a bit by the way, i feel very bad for you right now







.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Fluke said:


> I think this is a good thing. Funnily enough i was actually thinking about doing something like this myself it my help you get it all out, in a different way than just typing it out and you can bookmark the video for next time (if there is a next time) and watch that video if you full down again. It might remind you that you were there once and felt better, so i can this time. There is also a large DP community on youtube, and a large sum of them recovered. I remember before i found this site, while i was browsing through the videos. The video of you upset me a bit by the way, i feel very bad for you right now
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Really? I've watched a lot of the videos on youtube about dp and only recall like 3 people saying they have recovered.


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

ValleyGirl said:


> Really? I've watched a lot of the videos on youtube about dp and only recall like 3 people saying they have recovered.


I have seen quite a few who "claim" they have recovered. Some of them go on about it like it was not a big deal, and others have had it chronic for years, and don't often even talk about progress or if they have made any. So there's a mix. I still think its a good thing though. I might set up a youtube account myself.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Fluke said:


> I have seen quite a few who "claim" they have recovered. Some of them go on about it like it was not a big deal, and others have had it chronic for years, and don't often even talk about progress or if they have made any. So there's a mix. I still think its a good thing though. I might set up a youtube account myself.


Yeah. My big reason for wanting to do videos is because there is so little hope out there. I mean, I'm in a bad spot right now but I still want to provide positivity to people and I hope that I will be afforded the recovery to be able to do that.


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## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

ValleyGirl said:


> The picture was a lot better on my laptop. Youtube really compressed it. Oh well.


Valleygirl , I can see looking at your eyes what you re going through and I wanted to say you that all my good vibes are with you , and my good energies , people who don t know what severe DP is , can't understand how annoying , painfull , unpleasant , and everything bad it is , DP is not a game , and it is not funny for people who are suffering that , so Valley girl I have to say to you that you are a beautiful brave girl with a lot of courage , and I really hope you will recover soon , your message is sincere , honest , natural , and people who don't have DP can't understand it , me just by looking at your eyes , I saw you were DP , it is easy to see , yesterday I was so bad and so depersonalized that I had to go to the mental health institute emergency even if I am not psychotik , and they gave me a long half time life benzo , I didn't want this because it is rivotril the benzo I was prescribed which caused me so much trouble , but I finally accepted valium ( diazepam ) and they are gonna tapper off the dosis on 4 weeks and if it works hopefully I won t need medication anymore , maybe I will still be a DP but maybe less than before , but if it doesn t work I will have to spend one week in a specialized clinic .
Valleygirl I AM WITH YOU and thanks for posting videos , KEEP SHARING , that's very important , very important !!!!
I don't want to be the only one , I want all the people who are really DP , IT IS NOT COOL TO BE DP , IF YOU REALLY ARE DP , YOU KNOW THAT !!! ( message to all the people who criticize Valleygirl )

Valley girl thank you so much for sharing , and all my congratulations and keep going on you give hope to people


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

rudy said:


> Valleygirl , I can see looking at your eyes what you re going through and I wanted to say you that all my good vibes are with you , and my good energies , people who don t know what severe DP is , can't understand how annoying , painfull , unpleasant , and everything bad it is , DP is not a game , and it is not funny for people who are suffering that , so Valley girl I have to say to you that you are a beautiful brave girl with a lot of courage , and I really hope you will recover soon , your message is sincere , honest , natural , and people who don't have DP can't understand it , me just by looking at your eyes , I saw you were DP , it is easy to see , yesterday I was so bad and so depersonalized that I had to go to the mental health institute emergency even if I am not psychotik , and they gave me a long half time life benzo , I didn't want this because it is rivotril the benzo I was prescribed which caused me so much trouble , but I finally accepted valium ( diazepam ) and they are gonna tapper off the dosis on 4 weeks and if it works hopefully I won t need medication anymore , maybe I will still be a DP but maybe less than before , but if it doesn t work I will have to spend one week in a specialized clinic .
> Valleygirl I AM WITH YOU and thanks for posting videos , KEEP SHARING , that's very important , very important !!!!
> I don't want to be the only one , I want all the people who are really DP , IT IS NOT COOL TO BE DP , IF YOU REALLY ARE DP , YOU KNOW THAT !!! ( message to all the people who criticize Valleygirl )
> 
> Valley girl thank you so much for sharing , and all my congratulations and keep going on you give hope to people


Thank you for the reply. I am glad that you are starting to feel better. I was on Ativan like 8 years ago and stopped taking it suddenly and got dr. I went back on it and tapered off and was fine.

Man, I went back and looked at this video I was on for church like a year ago and you can tell how much worse I was back then. http://cpmassets.com/video.php?video=http://s3.amazonaws.com/lhc_webcasts/lhc_dangerous_faith_week6_the_middle_of_the_story_web_mp4.mp4


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

I have also been experience dp/dr for the past year and a half. I know what you mean by looking back and seeing that you were better. I even watch alot of movies to try and forget about the way i am feeling. Here lately i don't know if i'll ever get better but all we can do is hope!!!


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## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

opie37060 said:


> I have also been experience dp/dr for the past year and a half. I know what you mean by looking back and seeing that you were better. I even watch alot of movies to try and forget about the way i am feeling. Here lately i don't know if i'll ever get better but all we can do is hope!!!


I recognize in your comment someone who suffered from DP , believe me , I know how hard it is , and I consider all the people with DP like my brothers , on this forum there are people who say that they are DP and they are not , why I know that ? Because they say that DP is cool , but actually it is not , for me it is a lifebreaker , today I am feeling good , but I have lived Hell 24 hours 7 days a weeks .
And I can see in your comment that you are sincere , honest and you use the word HOPE .
You are right HOPE is the key , Faith too , we have a strange disease , a strange disorder , some people think we re crazy but they don t know how painful a DP disorder can be , how unpleasant , unbearable , it can be .
Opie37060 do not hesitate to share your story on youtube and add the link on a post here , Valleygirl shared her experience , me too , the more we are to do it , the better the people will understand that DP is a real disability and a painfull disorder , a lifebreaker , we are not mad , we are aware , and that s maybe the worse , aware and trapped away of our own body , some people say it is like a dream , for me it is almost a nightmare .
But we have to be positive and keep believing .

Benzodiazepine can be dangerous , this caused my DP disorder , but they also can be helpfull , for me valium it is my first day with that allow me to go to the grocery and go out of my apartment , I was almost normal , because usually my DP is super severe , so do not hesitate to talk with your doctor about valium , but never forget that this medication can be dangerous , and addictive , and using it more than 6 weeks it is not a good idea but it all depend of your case

Me it is my first day , and I Thank god for giving me this blessed day , I am young and not that religious but I consider this as a present of god , a normal day , a normal grocery ! Thanks God !

Bro I hope you re all right and thank you for sharing , it is very nice

Peace

Rudy


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## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

ValleyGirl said:


> Thank you for the reply. I am glad that you are starting to feel better. I was on Ativan like 8 years ago and stopped taking it suddenly and got dr. I went back on it and tapered off and was fine.
> 
> Man, I went back and looked at this video I was on for church like a year ago and you can tell how much worse I was back then. http://cpmassets.com/video.php?video=http://s3.amazonaws.com/lhc_webcasts/lhc_dangerous_faith_week6_the_middle_of_the_story_web_mp4.mp4


You know what I have seen your video , and I am going to pray for you , I am not a religious guy , but after I got DP , I believe in God , I seriously believe in him and I think you deserve to be happy ! 
I hope you have a good support , family or friends , I didn t know you were married , you re pretty young , me too my DP was caused by a Benzo , now I got an other one ,and it is good , I m less depersonalized , me it was severe I couldn t even go outside my appartment , it was a huge problem and a painfull problem moreover .
It is the 1st day I am alright , God be blessed ! 
Activan is bad cos the half life time of this medication is very short , valium the half life time is much longer and it is less addictive and less agressive , but we have to tapper off too but you could tell your doctor it worked for me so far , I know it worked for only one day for the moment but still , it is great , for me this day is like a gift !
Valleygirl don't hesitate to add me on youtube , I will suscribe to your videos , for me sharing is a therapy too and it can be good , because just talking about that allows us to feel better .
Thank you so much , to me when there are young people , or girls , or weak persons who have Dp , it breaks my heart , it really does , because me as a man I should supposely be strong , and it is Hell to me , so I have a lot of sympathy for the people with DP , the most vulnerable .


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

i have a question to you guys, rudy and tinyfairypeople! why do you make such videos and keep telling about your mental state and how you feel? i cant quite understand this. whats the positive thing about it for you? i never try to spend much attention to my dp/DR and thats what i think the best way to get it over with. if i'd focus on it like you do and analyse it and stuff i would get much more sad! does it help you to talk about it or whats the matter? i dont want to insult you, i just totally cannot understand the reason why you have to share the fact how bad you feel with the world. please explain, thanks


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

FoXS said:


> i have a question to you guys, rudy and tinyfairypeople! why do you make such videos and keep telling about your mental state and how you feel? i cant quite understand this. whats the positive thing about it for you? i never try to spend much attention to my dp/DR and thats what i think the best way to get it over with. if i'd focus on it like you do and analyse it and stuff i would get much more sad! does it help you to talk about it or whats the matter? i dont want to insult you, i just totally cannot understand the reason why you have to share the fact how bad you feel with the world. please explain, thanks


Yes, it does help me to talk about it. But aside from that, I think the important issue here is awareness. Dp is something that really isolates and is not "common", people really have nowhere but the internet to turn to find other people going through what they are going through. I think that by putting videos of yourself out there and talking about how you feel, it helps to let other people know that they are not alone. It can also help people see you progress through recovery to feeling better. It can give comfort and hope.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

rudy said:


> You know what I have seen your video , and I am going to pray for you , I am not a religious guy , but after I got DP , I believe in God , I seriously believe in him and I think you deserve to be happy !
> I hope you have a good support , family or friends , I didn t know you were married , you re pretty young , me too my DP was caused by a Benzo , now I got an other one ,and it is good , I m less depersonalized , me it was severe I couldn t even go outside my appartment , it was a huge problem and a painfull problem moreover .
> It is the 1st day I am alright , God be blessed !
> Activan is bad cos the half life time of this medication is very short , valium the half life time is much longer and it is less addictive and less agressive , but we have to tapper off too but you could tell your doctor it worked for me so far , I know it worked for only one day for the moment but still , it is great , for me this day is like a gift !
> ...


Rudy, yes I was married, for 7 1/2 years. I'm actually 27 and I have 3 kids. I know I look much younger. Thank you. I will add you. I think that you have a great heart for others who are hurting.


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## rudy (Feb 20, 2011)

FoXS said:


> i have a question to you guys, rudy and tinyfairypeople! why do you make such videos and keep telling about your mental state and how you feel? i cant quite understand this. whats the positive thing about it for you? i never try to spend much attention to my dp/DR and thats what i think the best way to get it over with. if i'd focus on it like you do and analyse it and stuff i would get much more sad! does it help you to talk about it or whats the matter? i dont want to insult you, i just totally cannot understand the reason why you have to share the fact how bad you feel with the world. please explain, thanks


To answer your question , when someone suffers from severe DP , it is hard , very hard to be able to express your feelings , making a video is hard too but you can express yourself and have the impression that you exist , it is not about the ego , me , I was suffering hell , it was painfull , and no one understood this pain and I couldn t even explain because I was out of it , in my life I had a lot of accidents but I can swear oh god that a severe DP is something very hard to stand , something unbearable , for the first time of my life I considered to end my life , in this situation you are scared and you need to share , to have the impression not to be alone in this situation even if you are , making videos is not the point , I think the point is to be able to express oneself the way we can , and in the same time it is helpfull to people who don't know how painfull , how hard , and how terrible it is , I wish no one knew that , even my worse ennemy , there are some kids in this forum who say that they are DP and it is funny , IT IS NOT , IT IS A DISORDER , and its severe form is a Lifebreaker ...
Me for the second day , MY dp is very light thanks to a medication , so I don t need to make videos anymore cos I m alright but if there are other people who are suffering and need to share to feel better , and if these videos can make people understand better , I think it is usefull for everyone , for the dps , and for the people who don t know what it is .

I really understand that you don t understand because some people have a light DP but some have a severe DP , I couldn t even cross a street or get out of my appartment ....
I really know that you are not insulting and you want to know the reason why .
That s why I wanted to protect Valleygirl from bad comments but when you are a severe DP , you recognize at first sight the other severe dp s , there are something in the eyes that even the best actor could not act .

I am very happy you asked the question , because I am sure you were not the only one who didn't understand and it gives me the opportunity to make things clear .


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