# Utter Confusion



## ABSquared (Oct 27, 2015)

Hi guys, I'm new here, and in a bit of confusion.

So, I have been experiencing derealization (at least I think so) for as long as I can possibly remember; I didn't suddenly "gain" it smoking weed or doing any other type of drug. It's never really bothered me that much, although it has always nagged me in the back of my mind. I decided to do some research and I found the term "derealization". It seems to describe everything I'm feeling: massive doubt in everything existing, suspicion about faith, hazy vision, etc. Once, I remember having a depersonalization moment where I startled myself by asking a question in class, seemingly without my consent, but I'm sure that's a one-time thing.

This kind of bothered me, and it's been nagging me much more ever since I found the term, and I kinda wish I hadn't found it. This has caused some stress to boil up inside me, and since, I've been feeling stressed, and at times I felt like crying. This is weird, considering I'm generally pretty laid-back and calm.

Ever since finding out that I might have a disorder, I've been fearing for my well-being, although I've been fine so far. Another thing that's happened is fear that I might be overexaggerating and telling myself I have a disorder for attention or something, and this has kind of made my feelings more mixed, making my mind think that I need to feel this way, hence intensifying the hazy feelings and stress.

I truly don't know what has caused these feelings to arise inside me. Hell, I might just be crazy. This might be normal for all I know. I've been sad for the past week and nothing's made me truly happy. Earlier, I told my father and he said it's normal and that I'm fine. He might be right, but I digress.

Anyway, what do you guys think? Does it sound like I have this disorder or am I just overexaggerating?


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

I'm not sure if what you're experiencing is DP/DR or not.. It could possibly be a form of it but to me your symptoms sound a bit vague.

I would suggest talking to a qualified psychologist/psychiatrist as I'm not a doctor and cant diagnose you..

*Derealization* for me and the majority i've talked to is a fairly intense *perceptional distortion*. The world* literally* looks and feels unreal, foreign, alien, abstract... ect.

Hope you find some answers

Cheers


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## ABSquared (Oct 27, 2015)

Is there any way I can be more specific? I'm not exactly able to visit a psychologist, due to financial circumstances. I don't need to be diagnosed, I just need to have a general idea of what's going on.

I'm kind of desperate because I need to know if I'm just thinking this is happening or if something's really going on. I don't know to trust myself anymore.

Thanks.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

U didn't describe anything of what u are experiencing so it's hard to tell.


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## ABSquared (Oct 27, 2015)

Okay, my bad.

I constantly am in that state of haziness where I think that my surroundings don't exist; I'm partially convinced that I'm dreaming and when I forget I'm "dreaming", I snap back to my thoughts then become stressed, still thinking that I got sucked into a false reality. I kind of try to wish it away, but everything stays the same. I forget things quite a bit, especially during conversation or working. Speaking of working, I get lost in my own thoughts or drift off a considerable amount as well. My thoughts are a bit intrusive at times as well.


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## inferentialpolice (Nov 26, 2012)

Do any of these articles resonate with your experiences:?

(Maladaptive Daydreaming)

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/when-daydreaming-replaces-real-life/391319/

and

http://somer.co.il/articles/2002Malaptdaydr.contemp.psych.pdf

Per the 2nd link above, there is a dissociative link to the phenomenon.


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## ABSquared (Oct 27, 2015)

I'd have to say, it does seem vaguely familiar, but I don't think this matches up. My version of daydreaming is pretty much not thinking at all. Just sitting there, staring into oblivion


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## inferentialpolice (Nov 26, 2012)

Staring into oblivion can be this maladaptive daydreaming, or something like stupor (which is more contentless as you've described it), either of which could be dissociative in etiology.

Here is a find-a-therapist link for the dissociation association (called ISSTD):

https://www.isst-d.org/default.asp?contentID=18

Perhaps it would be worthwhile to speak to someone with experience in dissociative presentations to assess whether or not you fit the picture.


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## ABSquared (Oct 27, 2015)

Ah, alright. I'll see if one day I'd be able to visit a therapist. Thanks for the suggestion.


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