# completely and permanently recovered after ten long years



## something6789 (Oct 7, 2013)

I'm finally at the point in my life where I'm comfortable saying this:

I've completely "recovered" and I put the word recovered in quotes because I really have realized that DP/DR are just symptoms. Seriously, the quicker you accept that the quicker you'll be rid of this TOTAL joke of a nuisance in your life. There MAY be a few cases where this is actually in someone's pathology and not the result of some other life circumstance that you, yes you, have chosen to over complicate, but that is so very rare that I can confidently say I haven't come across anyone on here who has this as an actual real affliction. It's literally just detachment from your far less than ideal life circumstance.

Having said that, I'd like to discuss how I beat this but I want to add a bit of a disclaimer. My advice is very, very, VERY obvious and is a testament to the old adage "the simplest explanation is probably the best one." Also, to add to that, I'm not going to be posting on here anymore, reading PMs or replying to them either. There are two reasons for that, I don't want to fall back into a bad habit of spending hours wasting away on internet forums and I also don't need to be the person giving some of you the kick in the pants wake up call you actually really need. Sometimes when you do that to people they get rude and lash out and although I can deal with that shit why the hell should I?

Also, I can't stand being around intelligent people who've devised a way to rationalize their weaknesses and foolishness and this forum is literally FILLED with those kinds of people. I can honestly say I understand why fearless is the way he is in his posts and it's because some of you are so emotionally drained and attention starved that if this were approached solely with compassion it would turn into an endless loop of constant reassurance.

Forget that, stop your sulking and stop searching for some miracle to come along. It won't, and I don't apologize for saying that. Here's a photo which sums up my sentiments to the way some of you go about this AND the way I went about it for 10 fucking years:










Now onto how I beat this. Again my advice is obvious but challenging to implement:

The first thing I did:

I seriously, took a step back and looked at my life as a whole. Then I asked myself these questions

Am I a well adjusted individual who is happy with my life?

Do I have my health both mentally and physically?

Are many of the things I find myself stressing about even stressful?

Are the friendships and relationships I've either made or been born into actually really ones that are worthwhile for me or are they toxic, negative and emotionally draining? Telling a sibling or a friend of several years that you cannot be around them until they learn to treat you properly or sort out their issues is REALLY difficult but REALLY worth it. This one is a HUGE drain on you if you let it continue.

So, very obviously, the answer to most of these was no for me and so, I simply went about slowly but surely changing each one. And over time, these small changes lead to one big change and now I actually really can say that for the first time, in my life, I'm actually really a very happy person! Mind you, I didn't "have" DP for all 30 years on this planet, only 10 of them. So really, this fucking bull shit FORCED me to become happy in order to beat it! That's the point of detachment people, a shit situation is meant to be detached from, don't ever deny that. Also, your lying to yourself if you think you won't come across this again briefly at some point in your life, because you will and it will be a joke and it will subside in a few moments once you realize that those nerves your having from getting up in front of a crowd or approaching a really gorgeous women (something that used to make me shake like a limb and is now a cake walk  ) for her number are just a misperceived reaction to a situation that is not really life threatening and thus should NOT be feared!!!! If you get into a car crash you probably will too but that's legitimately worth being momentarily detached 

For the sake of keeping this from being a very long read and also to keep myself from sitting here for too long. I'm just going to add a few quick bullets on things which helped me in a major way. Again these are really really obvious and anyone who isn't doing them is doing them a dis-service.

- Dedicate yourself to something which is productive in your life and that you enjoy, i.e. yoga, music, olympic lifting, helping out a charitable cause, etc. etc. etc. anything you think you'll enjoy that helps you to feel better! I got into cross fit and since then I've gotten into really good shape and actually corrected a major issue I had in my walking abilities (shuffling gait).

- Stop coming on here if you're feeling down and stop with the internet in general, just if you feel depressed or anxious or anything negative leave your computer, go for a walk in a nice neighborhood or in the park, go read. Do anything but come on here and fixate on DP and depression. Seriously!

- Learn how to take the negative and make it a positive. If you can't don't dwell, suck it the hell up and move the fuck on. Nobody has a time machine and nobody will, so stop trying to change circumstances of your past and just accept and move on!

- Eliminate the relationships and "friendships" in your life that are dragging you down. Be good enough to yourself to do that. "But it's hard" is a bullshit and FAIL assed excuse. Man up and do it. Find new friends, I did except for like one or two actually really good people. When you learn to be outgoing, start to surround yourself with positive people and feed the positive motivator within yourself! Stop questioning and thinking and start doing!

- eat healthy and be healthy. Your food literally affects your bodies hormones and your hormones control mood (depressed and disconnected IS a mood) think dark greens, fresh veggies, light fare and no processed junk! You very obviously can indulge on occasion but you need to eat in a manner that's generally conducive to your health.

- When you conquer a bad habit or manage to so something worthwhile for yourself, then fucking give yourself a grats and a mental pat on the back. Don't expect others to, just do it for yourself!! Also, if someone actually does sincerely compliment you learn to say thank you instead of rejecting it so you can fish for more. It makes you seem needy and people will get annoyed and stop giving them to you.

- Be sensible in life. You can only take things to a very serious and very over the top degree and sustain that if it's actually a good worthwhile aspect of your life. Don't go overboard in any of your indulgences, and these can include anything from hard drugs to sweets and television. Even coming on here is an indulgence, so don't sit in the fucking chat room all damn day. I used to, it does nothing for you!

So there you have it. If you heed this advice, you'll get better and that should be really obvious. If you say you already are and you're not better then your fooling yourself and you need to really find a way to COMPLETELY regain your composure and figure out where you're lying to yourself!

*EDIT:*

I wanted to add a few more ways to be healthier since I forgot to mention them:

- Make sure your getting in a lot of vigorous exercise to burn off all your pent up stress and adrenal responses of the day.

- Try to do about 5 - 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation in every few days to help calm your mind. Remember to try to maintain and regulate your breathing patterns if you find yourself feeling nervous or over thinking, a steady breath brings a steady mind.

- Use common sense in life. We humans aren't meant to spend our lives sitting in temple going ohmmm 12 hours a day or 100 hours a week at an office desk. This is a recipe for misery. When you hear stories of people who did yoga or meditation and then all of a sudden it made them worse, well there's why they took it to a crazy extreme. You seriously have to find some balance! If you're doing these or something very similar, scale it back just a wee bit, for crying out loud, lol

- Internet addiction is a very real thing. I challenge each and every one of you to spend 1 week to 1 mo. doing this: Use your phone only as a phone and use your computer for nothing more than work, paying bills, e-mail and checking bank/investment account balances. No TV during this time either/ You really will begin to realize how little importance these little tiny screens you spend too much time staring into really are!!!


----------



## Guest (May 2, 2014)

Thanks for sharing and congrats!


----------



## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

I would definetly have the same mood you have if I would be recovered! Good luck man!


----------



## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

Congrats!  This is awesome!!!


----------



## laserdog (May 1, 2005)

Mate I got the same hobbies!! Olympic lifting and crossfit. ;-) congrats


----------



## flipwilson (Aug 19, 2006)

I agree with much of this, it would be pretty sound advice for anybody really, but man I really don't understand why people minimize this condition, especially those that have been through it. Using words like 'nuisance' to describe something that can shred a person and crumble their life is ridiculous. That picture is also absurd and is something you'd show to a teenager who's bitching about not getting the latest Jordans, not people who are legitimately dealing with psychic pain . Do some people not make an effort? I'm sure there are some but I think that's the minority; to find this site alone is proof people don't except their fates. Let's take me for example.... I've done everything stated up above to get better. I've held a job the whole time and worked my way up to management. I've dated, I've had relationships, I've fought every moment of wanting to withdraw, I've pursued an art career, wrote a novella, gone to therapy, dropped toxic friends, improved myself in and out, I cook tasty ass meals for my loved ones, learned to sing, then I recovered for two years, then it was triggered again, now I'm doing the Harris Harrington program. I click on this to post to get uplifted and I read:



something6789 said:


> So there you have it. If you heed this advice, you'll get better and that should be really obvious. If you say you already are and you're not better then your fooling yourself and you need to really find a way to COMPLETELY regain your composure and figure out where you're lying to yourself!


I take issue not because I want start a pointless internet argument, but damn I can't stand when suddenly this shit becomes our fault. Even when I was recovered I would've never talked about dp like this....because it was fucking horrible and painful and not just a nuisance. It will be 8 years in August for me, all I've done is live my life the past eight years and do all that is stated, but here I sit numb and void. But I guess I'm just lying to myself. lol


----------



## Anonymity (Jul 8, 2013)

I wonder if I even have DP...


----------



## flipwilson (Aug 19, 2006)

I did what I wanted with it; i printed it out and wiped my butt hole with it. I said all your advice was sound and great, but it's wrong to minimize this condition and make blanket statement about why people suffer here. I do wonder how after my brief reply you seem to know me so well. Instead of showing me how I'm wrong in thinking you're minimizing dp you go after me which is very odd.

My first 400 posts were from 2006 to 2011 which really isn't much for 5 years. I've made maybe 15 in the last three years. So that actually proves I moved off this site and got on with life, but I guess it's fun to assume.

"fighting every moment"...I never said this. You quoted something I never said. Why would you do that? lol I said I fought every moment of wanting to withdraw, which means I pushed myself to socialize, work, etc. when I felt awful and could have been a hermit. But thanks for making shit up and putting words in my mouth.

How do you draw from what I've said that I'm looking for pity? I'm looking for sound information and maybe some uplifting posts now and again but pity not so much. why do you assume so much?

And finally how would you even know in the slightest that I didn't enjoy writing my novella or anything on my list for that matter? Just a means to an end? AND you know why I relapsed? Holy fuck how could you possibly know any of that? You don't know me at all hahahahaha.That is probably the dumbest shit anybody has ever written to me on this site; mind blowing.

Oh well...


----------



## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

I thought it was great! Who cares what others say.. Why is there always a fight?! You gave your tips and if it doesn't help everyone oh well! I read it 3 times!!! It's great!!!


----------



## Anonymity (Jul 8, 2013)

I just dont understand this condition. I am pretty sure a lot of people are experiencing different 'disorders' on this website. They come and post recovery stories thinking they have DP, when it was really just anxiety or depression. Recovering this way doesnt make sense. Personally for me there is a problem that needs to be resolved directly within myself before i can get better, and no type of 'healthy' lifestyle is going to make my DP go away. Maybe it may make me feel better, but honestly i consciously dont know how i feel... ever, so even if this healthy living is making me feel better, it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. The root of DP needs to be tackled and brought to the surface, and honestly i think this is literally the only way to get out of DP. Then you can live healthy and FEEL healthy.

Shrug, maybe its I who has something entirely different than DP, and i am just really lost and confused that i self diagnosed myself with something i dont have. But i know that ALL of the problems i experience now is directly related to deep internal problems that i dont know how to accept, surface, or identify, and just a bunch of suppressed shit. i feel as if i CANT move on and it is POINTLESS to, and the only way to get over that is to dig up the reasons as to why.

So im sorry, but i just cant relate or understand these type of recovery posts. Especially when they are written as fact and as the only way out. We must have 2 entirely different conditions.


----------



## kelly326 (Dec 10, 2013)

Anonymity said:


> I just dont understand this condition. I am pretty sure a lot of people are experiencing different 'disorders' on this website. They come and post recovery stories thinking they have DP, when it was really just anxiety or depression. Recovering this way doesnt make sense. Personally for me there is a problem that needs to be resolved directly within myself before i can get better, and no type of 'healthy' lifestyle is going to make my DP go away. Maybe it may make me feel better, but honestly i consciously dont know how i feel... ever, so even if this healthy living is making me feel better, it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. The root of DP needs to be tackled and brought to the surface, and honestly i think this is literally the only way to get out of DP. Then you can live healthy and FEEL healthy.
> Shrug, maybe its I who has something entirely different than DP, and i am just really lost and confused that i self diagnosed myself with something i dont have. But i know that ALL of the problems i experience now is directly related to deep internal problems that i dont know how to accept, surface, or identify, and just a bunch of suppressed shit. i feel as if i CANT move on and it is POINTLESS to, and the only way to get over that is to dig up the reasons as to why.
> So im sorry, but i just cant relate or understand these type of recovery posts. Especially when they are written as fact and as the only way out. We must have 2 entirely different conditions.


I think a lot of us have different symptoms, I know Somedays I feel like this is not anxiety/depression/dp and I'm different than all of the people on here. I read these posts and use some of the info and I feel better so then I think I must be like everyone else on here. I think we are just so confused about what is going on we think we are alone because this can't be just dp but I think it is and we are all just dealing with different causes of it.


----------



## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

I can't stand anymore the idea of "this is nothing more than dp"..as if dp is something easy to have!Oh man..


----------



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

I have no idea what I have anymore either tbh.... just to echo the sentiments of 'Anonymity' above.

'Depersonalisation' was the closest label that I could use to make it fit, but I still read people on here saying they look at their hands and they feel like they don't belong to them etc, whereas I've never experienced that sensation or thought.

People say their vision is blurred - never had that

People say they feel 'outside' of their body - never had that..

I often think that my experiences resemble depression, except the fact that I am highly functioning. The only part of my life that is significantly damaged is my social and romantic life, which are inter-connected.

So yeah... what I am experiencing doesn't fall under one label, it takes different symptoms from every condition.

The only symptoms that have been constant are:

1. I have no strong, concrete sense of identity anymore.

2. The concept of time completely confuses me, the last few years have gone by very quickly, but it feels like they never happened. The way my brain/mind handles time makes no sense.

3. I have a constant sense that something terrible is going to happen, that something is 'wrong' no matter what I'm doing.

4. All people feel like enemies and strangers to me. I can't work out their intentions, can't understand why they behave the way they do or what they want.

5. I feel immense nostalgia for the past

6. My past feels like it happened to someone else.

7. I can't relax and 'be myself'.


----------



## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

I didn't experience those symptoms either.Not everyone has out of body experience. On the other hand, I can relate to your 1, 2,6(the worst), 7 symptoms plus a lot of numbness, I can't feel anything. And depression of course. Anyway I have a question, how can you feel nostalgia for a past that doesn't seem to be yours?


----------



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

marry1985 said:


> I didn't experience those symptoms either.Not everyone has out of body experience. On the other hand, I can relate to your 1, 2,6(the worst), 7 symptoms plus a lot of numbness, I can't feel anything. And depression of course. Anyway I have a question, how can you feel nostalgia for a past that doesn't seem to be yours?


I find that I can feel things if I stop thinking so obsessively and go into the body, I normally cry or something. It's funny because if I work out hard during the day I don't really feel it that much, I just feel numb, but then when I go into the body during a session with my therapist I start feeling really creaky and tight etc... so there is a strong disconnect from the body.

As for your other question... I don't know. I long for my past self before DP happened. My personality and whole outlook on life changed completely, I lost most of my confidence etc.

Everything used to feel familiar, the smells of the grass, the perfume of women, the smells of cities... now the smell is still there but there is nothing 'attached' to these sensations, there is just a massive disconnect. It's basically impossible to describe.

Maybe I'm being dramatic when i say it doesnt feel like my past, obviously it does a little bit, and that little bit is what I crave.


----------



## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

What do you mean you go into your body?I thought you didn t have out of body experience.Sorry, I m confused. Are you on meds?


----------



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

marry1985 said:


> What do you mean you go into your body?I thought you didn t have out of body experience.Sorry, I m confused. Are you on meds?


I don't feel disconnected from my body, my body feels numb, so does my mind. I have never had an out of body exprience.

No, I've never taken any medication for psychological issues.

To clarify - I don't feel like I'm outside my body. I feel like I'm in my body, but there is no *sense* that it is 'mine'.


----------



## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

Midnight,

You seem to have a strong attachment to the past/the way you used to be.

But the way you were got you where you are now, even if it seems rosy in retrospect/in comparison.

So the issue is who you are right here and right now. You acquire a sense of identity not necessarily by feeling something, but by doing something on a regular basis. Identity will come as you dedicate your time to something significant.

That's pretty much the core of your recovery program. Build your identity, don't dwell on the past (it's gone.)


----------



## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

Anonymity said:


> I just dont understand this condition. I am pretty sure a lot of people are experiencing different 'disorders' on this website. They come and post recovery stories thinking they have DP, when it was really just anxiety or depression. Recovering this way doesnt make sense. Personally for me there is a problem that needs to be resolved directly within myself before i can get better, and no type of 'healthy' lifestyle is going to make my DP go away. Maybe it may make me feel better, but honestly i consciously dont know how i feel... ever, so even if this healthy living is making me feel better, it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. The root of DP needs to be tackled and brought to the surface, and honestly i think this is literally the only way to get out of DP. Then you can live healthy and FEEL healthy.
> 
> Shrug, maybe its I who has something entirely different than DP, and i am just really lost and confused that i self diagnosed myself with something i dont have. But i know that ALL of the problems i experience now is directly related to deep internal problems that i dont know how to accept, surface, or identify, and just a bunch of suppressed shit. i feel as if i CANT move on and it is POINTLESS to, and the only way to get over that is to dig up the reasons as to why.
> 
> So im sorry, but i just cant relate or understand these type of recovery posts. Especially when they are written as fact and as the only way out. We must have 2 entirely different conditions.


What you just described there sounded like anxiety and depression caused by unresolved problems or ineffective coping methods used in the past, like me.

What a lot of people don't seem to understand is that DP/DR (in most cases) are just that, a symptom of elevated anxiety and depression. Nothing more.

Because it is an extremely uncomfortable feeling and is rarely talked about, we are convinced it is something way worse than what it really is (hence the constant ruminating, obsessing, fearing (which is also caused by anxiety, mind you.)).

You just need to let go and ride it out.

A lot of the times the simplest solution is the only solution.


----------



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Haumea said:


> Midnight,
> 
> You seem to have a strong attachment to the past/the way you used to be.
> 
> ...


PMing you


----------



## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

Haumea said:


> Midnight,
> 
> You seem to have a strong attachment to the past/the way you used to be.
> 
> ...


I agree to you. But what if the new mmemories I m trying to make, still don t seem to belong to me?It s a nightmare and it s confusing.


----------



## fieldsmatt31 (Dec 16, 2009)

nice post. i believe you are totally right. i dont have anymore dp either !! at all !


----------



## Meticulous (Jul 30, 2013)

That was the best kick-to-the-teeth feeling I've ever felt.

Thank you.


----------



## Guest (May 14, 2014)

Congrats


----------



## planet (Feb 5, 2014)

nothing special to recover after 10 years ...


----------



## jonobe (Jun 20, 2014)

I agree with the critics of this post. I tried all that 'just pull yourself together' bullshit. Yes, it IS good to get on with your life. I did, and I have had a lot of success in my life. It didn't make the DP go away.

What did eventually make the DP go away was a lot of therapeutic work I put myself through. I had a degree in psychology and that didn't help - eventually I did find a psychology book that did free me, but it took a lot of work and dealing with pain in my life and re-integrating parts of my self that I had become alienated from. (Part One, Gestalt Therapy, excitement and growth in personality by Perls, Hefferline)

I have in common with many recoverers this: there is no 'magic' way of getting better, no line you can tell yourself to pull yourself out of the glass cage. But you can get out of it. You will. Get to know yourself. Remember, if you think you have no feelings: you do have feelings. Emptiness and despair are feelings. Very strong feelings. Take your time. And get on with your life in the meantime.


----------



## silenttiger (Jul 9, 2014)

loved this posting !! Everyone needs to see it , I'm actually gonna get off now and do the homework I've been avoiding lol !! & I screenshot that picture haha , loved it !!


----------

