# Do you feel you have a life purpose?



## Guest (Feb 11, 2008)

I have been doing a job for 24 years now that I really don't enjoy, ridiculous I know, but the 3 day week is good.
For a while now I have been getting this nagging feeling that I am supposed to be doing something else, I am just not sure what it is.
Did any of you feel this way and if you did how did you find what you felt you were supposed to be doing.
I know part of the problem is that I am in my comfort zone, but lately it's not that comfortable, it just makes me angry. When I am not working I look like this  when I think about work I look like this :roll: and when I am at work I look and feel like this :evil: 

I guess what I'm asking is do you believe in destiny?


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

Yes...Greg, I believe in purpose.


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## Guest (Feb 12, 2008)

Rozanne said:


> Yes...Greg, I believe in purpose.
> 
> Actually I just see it in a psychological way. We all have abilities, interests and talents. And if we are putting energy and time in, doing something we love, then I feel that it makes sense one should get a living back from it - so long as the country isn't in unrest/ crisis. So I've been doing medicine for a while and it caused me a considerable amount of stress. I found that I didn't "fit in" much, and the work, although it got completed - exams assessments etc - didn't amount to me being confidence on the wards.
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing that Rozanne, it has reinforced what I know I have to do. I'm in the same situation you describe you were in, small circle of friends and family, there is only a couple of people I feel confident talking about certain things with, my wife being one of them. When I'm with friends I feel I have to hold back parts of myself because I assume they wont understand, some don't........I have tried. I now know that the path to inner happiness is doing something that I feel is worthwhile, something I'm passionate about.

You know it's funny, just today I was given a card from a lady, it was information about a spiritual group in my area, I think I will go and have a look. I have never really been a spiritual person but I feel it's something I need to explore, I feel like it's drawing me. I have seen and heard so much evidence that what you guys talk about is true..........But I have been ignoring it, I have been ignoring it because I felt I would be labeled a flake. I need to find people that will understand me, I've had one beside me for so many years, my wife.........I love her.


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

How old are you Greg if you don't mind me asking?

I sort of agree with the idea of a "soul purpose". More along the lines of having natural talents and interests like Rozanne said. I'm a firm believer in the addage "If you do something you love, you'll never work a day in your life". The challenge is to find something that you love doing


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## Guest (Feb 12, 2008)

I don't mind you asking at all CECIL, I'm 41......... :shock:



> The challenge is to find something that you love doing


It is quite the challenge I have to admit, it would have to be something where I can unleash my creative energy.  I don't have any artistic licence in my job, my mind is continually being bombarded with ideas for paintings, songs, sculpture and the like.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

edi


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

Rozanne said:


> Hi Greg,
> It's funny you should cut and paste the chunky wunky bit of text because I have to admit I was going to edit it. I didn't want people to think I was a jammy bitch....I mean it's like there's unwritten rule "you must not enjoy your job". Yet it is possible to love what you do. I suffer terribly from guilt. Not over sex - that appears to be the common one - but over whether I am allowed to feel loved, and enjoy life for myself. The silly thing is that by doing something I love, I'll not only help myself, but others too. If I did something I didn't love, it would kill me....if not physically then in other ways. But I expect it would hurt most physically.
> 
> There is only one real solution: talk about what you really love.
> ...


 



> It's funny you should cut and paste the chunky wunky bit of text because I have to admit I was going to edit it.


I know  That's why I cut it, I have noticed you edit a LOT of your post's.
I thought I would save you the trouble of going over what you posted in your mind. I am not saying that you double guess yourself, I just think the first uncensored post is usually the best.



> I didn't want people to think I was a jammy bitch


Don't worry about what other people think.

You said if you did something you didn't love it would kill you, I relate to that in a big way, I feel like this job is sucking my energy.
I have started to talk about what I love doing and I feel by just doing that makes me feel more energized. I express myself in my art and I have been ignoring it of late. Because I find it hard to articulate my feelings I let the brush do the talking. I have to point out that when I talk about feelings I am talking about all the unspoken emotions that I have stored up inside me, more so from when I was a kid.

I believe anyone can paint, I think what most people are doing wrong when they say can't paint is they think about it too much, when I paint I don't have a plan...........I just paint, sometimes I don't even know what it means but it feels good to get it out. I sometimes just look at it for about an hour feeling relived that it now has a voice, and people hear it.



> I'd be damming the flow of my life if I continued as I was.


I like this quote, my dam is at 100% capacity and is just bursting to get out.

Thanks.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

For some reason, yes, I suffer terribly from whether what I write is "good enough" or not. I also feel that people are going to reject me and judge me. It's like being banned from another site.....makes me feel worse than Hitler. I'm not joking. It really doesn't matter who rejects/undermines me, I will literally feel like the worst person in the world. It doesn't matter what they do, it doesn't matter what people do, it doesn't matter what Hitler does, or what anyone does...I feel irredeemable...literally like the most worthless person in the world! And it is this sense of lacking a place in this world that makes me feel like I can't do what I enjoy. As if nothing is ever going to be good enough for anyone. I just want people to be happy they never seem to see that.


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

Im still the same person said:


> I don't mind you asking at all CECIL, I'm 41......... :shock:


Damn, I hoped you would say 28 or 56 lol.



> You said if you did something you didn't love it would kill you, I relate to that in a big way, I feel like this job is sucking my energy.


Here, here!


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

Rozanne said:


> For some reason, yes, I suffer terribly from whether what I write is "good enough" or not. I also feel that people are going to reject me and judge me. It's like being banned from another site.....makes me feel worse than Hitler. I'm not joking. It really doesn't matter who rejects/undermines me, I will literally feel like the worst person in the world. It doesn't matter what they do, it doesn't matter what people do, it doesn't matter what Hitler does, or what anyone does...I feel irredeemable...literally like the most worthless person in the world! And it is this sense of lacking a place in this world that makes me feel like I can't do what I enjoy. As if nothing is ever going to be good enough for anyone. I just want people to be happy they never seem to see that.


Nobody is interested in whether or not your post was good enough, all we want is your opinion. If you posted something I didn't agree with I wouldn't just right you off, I'm just disagreeing with that particular opinion. 
That's not your problem it's mine, if I disagree.........so what....who cares, what I think doesn't change who you are. You say you feel worthless, from what you have said in previous post's I think that's because your mother never valued your opinions, your opinions/thoughts/theories are very intuitive. It's almost as if your mother felt threatened by you, you were a very smart kid. It really doesn't matter what we think of you, our opinions of you don't change who you are, it's only your opinion of yourself that can change you. Personally I think you also had to much pressure on you as a kid to try and help people, you know what I mean, I think this is another reason why you worry about what you have written, whether or not it was the right thing to say. I read one of Black Box's post's before and he talked about detachment, not dissociation but detachment. All we can do is offer our opinion/advise, it's 50 50 if the person takes your advice then that was their decision, it's a reflection of them, if they choose not to then that is also a reflection of them, not you. you have to detach yourself from what the response may be because it is just another opinion, not something you should take on personally.

Just the other day I cooked a meal for four people, one didn't like it, but the other three did. I liked it and I will keep cooking it. :wink:


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

I know you're right, Greg: it is impractical to experience completely loss of self everytime there is a rejection. When I say rejection it is specifically related to my intentions. If those are misinterpreted I feel very disconnected with people.


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

Rozanne said:


> I know you're right, Greg: it is impractical to experience completely loss of self everytime there is a rejection. When I say rejection it is specifically related to my intentions. If those are misinterpreted I feel very disconnected with people.
> 
> ...actually Greg one of the few things my mum did value was my mind. She never supressed my intellect. Never...she hurt my mind. She did abuse my mind, by making a lot of demands on me and constantly attacking my ears. She suppress my body instincts for space and respect and took advantage of my psychology (mainly with guilt and shame) and that completely cut me off from any sense of worth. I re-experience that trauma under certain situations. Social rejection...
> 
> ...


Hey Rozanne,
This really jumped out at me because I went through a similar thing.


> She suppress my body instincts for space and respect and took advantage of my psychology (mainly with guilt and shame) and that completely cut me off from any sense of worth. I re-experience that trauma under certain situations. Social rejection...


After my biological father left I did the only thing a kid would do without the advantage of abstract thinking, I assumed it was my fault, I was not worthwhile, not good enough, unlovable. This is something that I actually used to make happen in social situations, as if to prove I was right, I felt socially rejected as well.
I believed it so I attracted it in a way.
I don't believe it now and I feel much more comfortable in my skin, you stop giving a shit when you hit about 35.

What is it that scares you about totally reconnecting with yourself Rozanne?
I will tell you what it was for me, it left me feeling vulnerable to totally put myself out there without censorship, it was tough, expecting to be judged.



> There are certain things which will cut me off completely from myself. When I am painted exclusively black, scum of the earth, I can't continue to exist under that cloud. It sounds highly dependant...of course it is. I cannot rely on people to think I'm "alright". It's inevitable that people aren't, from time to time, That is their right.


Well.......you didn't paint yourself black, do you want to be black? 
When you choose your clothes do you choose what you want to wear or what you think people expect you to wear. No body is perfect, I sometimes use the word perfect but it is unattainable.
I will tell you a story about perfection. When I was a kid I would make something for my mother at school, there may have been 99 things that were right with it but she would pick out the one thing that was wrong, it made me feel the only way I could be loved was to be perfect. One day I made a vase in pottery class, it was as close to perfect as you could get, my mother looked at it and found no fault with it. You know what she did, she accused me of stealing it. It was then that I realized I was chasing something I would never catch.........Perfection. I do believe everyone was born perfect in their own way but I like to refer to it as unique these days.
So.......you are right, it is a persons right to make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. What is important is that we learn from then and don't see them as a failure, we need to see them as making us more empathic.



> Motorcycle tuition, I've found, is the worst. It's like people have the expectation I am not trying because I am unable to immediately conform to structure. I cannot conform to structure very easily because my sense of containment is frazzled. That means, I have thoughts here and there I want to share with people. I almost expect to be understood. And yet, my spontaneity is seen as "weird" "random" or a threat to authority. ...thing is, my mind never having been suppressed, doesn't understand it when authority figures are threatened by intellect.


Who cares what they think, you yourself have said you have found people that do accept you the way you are. You can and do share, and some people do understand you but some don't, it will always be that way.
Concentrate on the people/relationships that you feel comfortable with instead of trying gain the approval of people that don't.



> I made the classic mistake when I went to therapy. Thinking she'd be happy for me, I mentioned that I'd been reading Winnicott and that it had made me feel much better inside - baby psychology of course it would! ....did she give a shit? No.....even a year later she continued to be affronted that I could have the audacity to quote psychology at her.


The thing with therapy is some of us tend to read up on it and in a sense try to be the therapist. What we should do in therapy is talk about feelings not psychology.

At least you can laugh about it now, it shows that you are beginning to detach yourself from the personal baggage and see it for what it really was, an incredibly incompetent parent too caught up in her own problems.
It wasn't you.

Greg..


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

True...though I admit that part of my life purpose is to discuss things and find mental understanding as well as emotional happiness. Those aren't mutually exclusive. Two brains: the first brain and the second brain (solar plexus seat of emotions). As far as wholeness is concerned, the solar plexus is the first brain, and the intellect the second.


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

.


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## Guest (Feb 13, 2008)

.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2008)

I can relate to both of your past and present Rozanne and Spirit.
Spirit you said you feel good about what you do.........I know, even in the type I can see/feel you passion.
Right now I need to sleep. 
I would like to discuss both of your post's though.

BTW, who's Roy?

Greg....


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2008)

.


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## Guest (Feb 15, 2008)

> Who was that question directed at?,I dont know whos roy? :lol:


It was directed at who ever knows Roy.

Every time I post on this thread I hear the name Roy. :lol:

Are you sure you don't know Roy??


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

I don't know any Roys...


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## Guest (Feb 18, 2008)

Well...........I guess it means nothing then.


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## Guest (Apr 6, 2009)

Im still the same person said:


> I don't mind you asking at all CECIL, I'm 41......... :shock:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You should become a 3 foot putt putt golf course designer.....OR a therapist.

And where the eff did Cecil go? He vanished in a puff of smoke, I miss Cecil. And where the eff did my posts go?.... :shock: ...Oh yeah the name Roy is very relevant to me now, how effing odd.


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## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

not at all


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

nm


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## match_stick_1 (Jun 9, 2010)

My purpose is to find my purpose...


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