# Mild dp?



## zenloops (Jan 31, 2017)

Hello everyone. I posted exactly a week ago about the severe dp/dr I was experiencing, and the great news is I am no longer in that state of mind. I literally did what everybody was saying to do, which is not give the whole thing any attention. For example, when I would notice how my perception is and start commenting on it in my head, I would quickly ground myself with the idea that I am talking about nothing. The aspect which I am commenting on is not an actual thing in the world, but only a perceptual phenomenon that I gave a name and started talking about. I applied the same thing whenever I would notice something about myself, and ground myself with the idea that I am myself and I could not possibly comment on my state of being since I am my state of being. By realizing the infinities involved in these comments, I quickly lost interest and kept pushing through my empty daily life. i have to admit it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It is like being in a room on fire and convincing yourself that there isn't anything wrong. Starting friday up till today, I am no longer in that severe state of mind, and I am finally thinking about relevant things in life and situations and things that actually exist, and I am feeling much better. 
However, I cannot help but notice that even in the state of mind I am in now, I am still experiencing myself in my head as just plain words that pop up, with very loose emotional connections to them. I have also noticed that I have lost the image of myself inside my head, it is as if when I am talking to someone, I am unable to zoom out of the moment situation and view myself from their perspective, or summon the image that I want of myself with that person. Even when I am alone, I am not forming mental images about the situations I am in nor am I forming mental images about myself and relating them to other images. It is scaring me that my existence has been reduced to words, devoid of the diverse contents of my usual brain. I literally used to make an image about anything and everything, visualize every situation the way I wanted it and the way I'd like it to be and the way I want to remember it, visualize how I want myself to appear and who I am and the things that define me, I would visualize the outcome of a conversation and the general situation before it even happens. I understand that where I am now is astronomically and incomprehensibly better than where I was a week ago. But this is the human condition, and I still cannot bear with myself not having the same inner space of experience and knowledge as before, even if I am not feeling depressive, anxious, or terrorized anymore. My question is, is this still dp/dr? Or is it something else I have to check for? Could it be simply the destruction of my ego and the image of myself from the fake blotter I took 2 weeks ago that started all of this? I'm really hoping it isn't, and I am really hoping this is just mild dissociation that has yet to be overcome. All thoughts appreciated, thank you.


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## Heather414 (Oct 2, 2016)

I believe it is still dp, Im currently pretty much going through the same thing as you. Im a lot better than a week ago myself, can continue on with daily life but, still have a good amount of symptoms but they are all mild. I can very much relate to the part where you said "I still cannot bear with myself not having the same inner space of experience and knowledge as before, even if I am not feeling depressive, anxious, or terrorized anymore"


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

no offensive but you can please make that original post more readable.


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## lilly59599 (Feb 13, 2017)

I understand completely, to the first post, i just, i just feel wierd and like nothing makes sense and i keep trying to understand it, but theres nothing to understand because alot of my questions are like " is there a god?" and i feel like that just takes me down a totally different road. I just dont understand why I continue living and doing things and talking to people. I just want to lay here, i cant seem to find people that i connect with.


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