# MDMA induced DR?



## shaolinbomber (Mar 28, 2009)

Ok so last saturday i was with a group of friends who were rolling. Let me first say that i've only rolled 7 times in total over the past 2 years.Anyway, We had pure mdma powder. I had the bright idea of taking 300-350mg of pure molly. Well needless to say the roll was VERY intense. Ever since that night and then on i havn't felt quite the same. I read up alot on derealization and its symptoms and it seems that maybe i've induced this feeling through mdma. Example. I like to run and lift weights, workout etc. I went for a run on thursday for the first time since i rolled last weekend and it didn't feel like it was before. Nothing feels like it was before that night to be honest. Its like im living life and i know what everything is but the emotional status isn't there. Im like WTF here. How can i go from a normal stable mindset to this?

I have no past history of DR/DP, depression, anxiety etc. NONE AT ALL. Is it possible that the drug could have brought on this state of mind for me?

Also, once you've felt this disorder, is it up to YOU and only YOU to overcome it? I mean is this caused by chemical imbalances in the brain or what? it just doesn't make any sense to me. We as humans should not have to be subjected to mental disorders like this. We've survived through millions of years of evolution and i refuse to believe that this cant be overcome mentally.

Any advice and or input from anyone would eb great. Thanks!


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## shaolinbomber (Mar 28, 2009)

bump


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## shaolinbomber (Mar 28, 2009)

bump again...seriously guys. can you give me some opinions?

I've read up on alot of different threads here and im feeling exactly how people describe. Living life, knowing who you are, where you are, but everything just seems like its a dream. Nothing feels right. It sucks.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Hi,

The answer is yes. Even without a past history of an anxiety disorder or something similar, drugs can bring this on. Most of the time it seems that a bad trip induces anxieties or conflicting thoughts that already existed in your mind - in other words you might have developed this anyways during a stressful time in your life, but the drugs accelerated the process.

Are you feeling a lot of anxiety or depression now? That might be a clue as to whether it unearthed some mental issues that had been there before or that you were predisposed to.

There have also been some cases on here who did the drug, it seemed to flip the defense mechanism switch that is DR on but there is no comorbid anxiety at all. Its rare, but it happens.

In either case you can get better - but it is easier to determine how to treat it if you have comorbid anxiety or depression. Even if you didn't before the drugs - if you are petrified now, a good way to go about treating it is to focus on the anxiety.

Either way - it sounds like you've got DR now, so do your best to cope with it and work on getting yourself better. The keys are focusing away from the horrible feelings, and not dwelling. Use distraction and try and change your thought patterns.


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## boohootoo (Dec 2, 2008)

Hi!

Doing drugs of any kind, even a few times will permanately alter your brain. If you are a person who is pre disposed to mental disorders such as depression, bi polar, anxiety the use of drugs will make it worse. I smoked pot 1st time when I was 12. DP set in not long after. I used acid and MDA regularly as a teen. My family has a history of depression and bi polar disorders. Did I possibly throw away a chance to live a normal life by doing drugs? Most likely. People like to think there is no price to pay for casual drug use. Not true. I have lived with DP since I was 12, I am now 38. It has never gone away, not even for a few hours. I do often wonder what I would be like had I never done drugs. As it stands I will most likely be on medications for the rest of my life. Just so you know, none of the medications treat my DP. They are for depression and bi polar disorder.


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## boohootoo (Dec 2, 2008)

shaolinbomber said:


> bump again...seriously guys. can you give me some opinions?
> 
> I've read up on alot of different threads here and im feeling exactly how people describe. Living life, knowing who you are, where you are, but everything just seems like its a dream. Nothing feels right. It sucks.


I live this every day. But it hasn't stopped me from having a full life. I have gotten used to it.


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

New research into the disorder implicates the HPA and serotonergic axes which are highly affected by MDMA. Same with hallucinogens and, to some degree, pot.


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## shaolinbomber (Mar 28, 2009)

i fail to believe that this can permanently alter your brain function. I;ve been talking to my family about it and they've all said to give it time and if it doesn't get better that i will be going to see a professional. I did not have any problems with anxiety, bi polar, or depression before. So i fail to see how it could all of the sudden arise after this. I will be optomisitic about it. I think what divides the people from recovery vs the people who stay like that is they give up hope, or atleast thats what id like to believe. If MDMA does indeed alter the "HPA and serotonergic axes" Then the brain should be able to heal whatever damage was done. I DO NOT hallucinate, never have before in my life. Its just the constant feel of this derealization bullshit that has stuck with me. Sometimes i feel that im ok again and everything seems normal, and then its like ill think about it a little bit and boom im right back to square 1. This tells me that recovery is indeed possible.


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

shaolinbomber said:


> i fail to believe that this can permanently alter your brain function. I;ve been talking to my family about it and they've all said to give it time and if it doesn't get better that i will be going to see a professional. I did not have any problems with anxiety, bi polar, or depression before. So i fail to see how it could all of the sudden arise after this. I will be optomisitic about it. I think what divides the people from recovery vs the people who stay like that is they give up hope, or atleast thats what id like to believe. If MDMA does indeed alter the "HPA and serotonergic axes" Then the brain should be able to heal whatever damage was done. I DO NOT hallucinate, never have before in my life. Its just the constant feel of this derealization bullshit that has stuck with me. Sometimes i feel that im ok again and everything seems normal, and then its like ill think about it a little bit and boom im right back to square 1. This tells me that recovery is indeed possible.


I never said recovery is impossible or even unlikely. I said that your brain chemistry is altered. Which is what happens when you introduce large amounts of 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methamphetamine to your system. It's why you get high.


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## Absentis (Jul 10, 2007)

shaolinbomber said:


> We had pure mdma powder.


I know you believe you had a pure substance, and your friend/dealer probably swore up and down about its authenticity, but unless you personally used mass spectrometry to verify the claim... I'm 99% sure you didn't have pure mdma. Every forensic medicinal chemistry study published on MDMA in the last decade has *always* found large amounts of other drugs in supposedly pure MDMA. In the last 5 years, MDMA has been replaced almost exclusively with methamphetamine. The reason for this is that MDMA isn't particularly addictively, while methamphetamine is. Another finding is that the substance-sold-as-MDMA may contain heavy metals. (This isn't to mention the fillers like protein powder or caffeine, or drugs used to mimic MDMA like research chemicals or amphetamines - these you don't really need to worry about.)

Heavy metals have a myriad of negative health effects, which could cause any number of signs and symptoms while methamphetamine may cause permanent damage to serotonin axons. In essence, both could cause organic damage that may or may not heal over time.

I've taken psychpharmacology classes in university, and have access to a pretty extensive list of academic journals through my university. This is just to let you know, however, that I don't subscribe to the whole "drugs are bad" thing. Ecstacy, though, is a dangerous drug that may very well have triggered what you're currently experiencing.



shaolinbomber said:


> i fail to believe that this can permanently alter your brain function.


Unfortunately, belief doesn't change the facts that it may very well be the case, but for your sake, I hope not.


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

> Ok so last saturday i was with a group of friends who were rolling. Let me first say that i've only rolled 7 times in total over the past 2 years.Anyway, We had pure mdma powder. I had the bright idea of taking 300-350mg of pure molly. Well needless to say the roll was VERY intense. Ever since that night and then on i havn't felt quite the same. I read up alot on derealization and its symptoms and it seems that maybe i've induced this feeling through mdma. Example. I like to run and lift weights, workout etc. I went for a run on thursday for the first time since i rolled last weekend and it didn't feel like it was before. Nothing feels like it was before that night to be honest. Its like im living life and i know what everything is but the emotional status isn't there. Im like WTF here. How can i go from a normal stable mindset to this?


It seems highly likely that MDMA caused these symptoms, but I'd say it's also highly likely that you'll be able to recover from them.

It's one thing for a drug to affect your brain chemistry. It's quite another for it to "permanently damage" your brain. I'd say you've done the former and not the latter, given that you haven't used that much.

If I were in your position I'd try to kick my neurotransmitters back into a good balance. This would basically involve:

1. Not touching MDMA again.
2. Giving it time.
3. Exercise (which boosts your brain chemistry and in general helps in good mental health)
4. Good nutrition, plenty of vitamins, fish oils, all the "brain food" you need.
5. _Possibly_ some supplements, such as 5-htp or l-tyrosine to help boost serotonin and dopamine respectively, although you may not need these.

I cannot stress enough, however, that more than anything you need to give your brain rest and time. This will probably resolve on its own, and you should take it as a warning signal: don't touch these drugs again.


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## shaolinbomber (Mar 28, 2009)

i just wanted to come back and post a thanks to all who've responded. My situation has definitely improved over the past 4 weeks. The first week was hell. Since then its slowly improved. I cant say that im completely fine again but its not anywhere near as bad as it was initially.

To absentis- I rolled with other friends who took 200mg each which is not far off from what i took and they're all fine. And i had rolled 6 times previous to the last one with doses very close to the latest one. Every time its been the same brownish crystals and everytime before then i had no problems.


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## curiousmind (Oct 31, 2019)

> i just wanted to come back and post a thanks to all who've responded. My situation has definitely improved over the past 4 weeks. The first week was hell. Since then its slowly improved. I cant say that im completely fine again but its not anywhere near as bad as it was initially.
> 
> To absentis- I rolled with other friends who took 200mg each which is not far off from what i took and they're all fine. And i had rolled 6 times previous to the last one with doses very close to the latest one. Every time its been the same brownish crystals and everytime before then i had no problems.


hey man, how have you been since?


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