# My DP/DR is only getting worse - PLS HELP!!!!



## Num8Freak (Feb 27, 2021)

Hey, my name is Elias. I'm pretty new to this forum! My english is not that good, so please don't hate me







Well, in corona times like now, the appointments between the doctors are soooo long. And that's because i came to this forum. So i can chat with people who has the same suffering like me, and can say what helped them. Let's start with my story. It all started in December 2019 when i had terrible anxiety 24/7. After a while i noticed that something is weird. I couldn't enjoy things that anymore. I didn't took it seriously, so i just tough't that i just grow up, and ain't a kid anymore ^^ But this weird sensation got a little bit worse, so that i was like under a glass-panel. In january i already had light sensivity, and in february it got a LOT worse, don't know why. The danger that "caused" my anxiety was already over, but my brain was still messed up. Then it got out of nowhere a bit better, but never went away.

Well and since then, DP/DR has gotten my worst enemy and still remains to this minute i write this story







March, april, may, june it only got worse and worse, i showered cold, ate healthy, did sport and just tried to distract myself. It never went away...... My memory got worse and worse, motivation and my personality. I checked the internet, and tiped in: Feelings of unreality, memory is bad, personality is gone, my hands/feets don't look like they belong to me. Then i read Depersonalization/Derealization, and my symptoms fit in perfectly. Then in july it got again a LOT worse, like this weird "attack" in february. At the end of july i had enough, and went to my doctor. He diagnosed me with a generalized anxiety disorder, and said the DP/DR may link to the anxiety disorder, but never heard of it. Well, thank you. He prescribed me Paroxetin (Paxil). My "first" antidepressant







The first week of this stuff, was the most scariest time of my life. The DP/DR exploded, my voice sounded weird, memory litarally GONE, voices of other people sounded so disgusting and weird, people/places i knew looked unfamiliar, random zooming out in conversations. I sticked with Paroxetine 2 months, didn't do anything except making my DP/DR explode. Then i went to my doc again, said that Paxil didn't to a crap to me. Then he prescribed me Citaloprame (Celexa). Didn't do anything either. But the DP/DR got worse and worse, the light sensivity and hearing got unbearable. Then i got Fluoxetin (Prozac), no suceed, neither with Sertraline (Zoloft). After a while, he said he can't do anything for me so he transfered me to a Psychatrist. Psychatrist put me an Paxil again, but in a high dose. Well and again nothing. But atleast he heard of "Derealization" and said, because of my therapie resistant depression, he want's to prescribe me an atypical antipsychotic, Seroquel. It only knocked me out and made me super tired, so i stopped taking it. Then i got Sulpiride (Dolmatil), only made my DP/DR worse, but it get's worse anyway so i don't if it was Sulpirid that made it worse. Then i got Olanzapin (Zyprexa), (which i'm curently still taking since 12 days) but it hasn't an impact on me like the other ones. The next apointment whith my doc i have on april 7th, and an EEG on the 16th. Last week i somehow managed to get Lamotrigine (Lamictal), no doc here want's to prescribe me it. Don't know why all doctors have a problem with Lamictal. If the Olanzapin don't work, i will take Lamotrigine. But why does my DP/DR not go away?! i litereally tried EVERYTHING! It only get's worse and worse, with or without meds. Is there any meds i can try, wo saved you or a therapie, or even meditation? I listen to solfeggio frequencies every time before bed, don't to any impact on me







Please help me, since nearly 2 years i'm trapped in some kind of hell and can't seem to get out of it!!!


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## 35467 (Dec 31, 2010)

There are no formal pharmacological treatment for depersonalization. You think there are. There are some indications that some might benefit form a combination of a anti-depressant with lamotrigine in a dose between 200-300.mg. It will take some time to reach such a dose. The alternative is more psychological approaches as it is a related to a anxiety condition and OCD like ruminations. This site have this approach.

https://anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation/


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## Num8Freak (Feb 27, 2021)

Mayer-Gross said:


> There are no formal pharmacological treatment for depersonalization. You think there are. There are some indications that some might benefit form a combination of a anti-depressant with lamotrigine in a dose between 200-300.mg. It will take some time to reach such a dose. The alternative is more psychological approaches as it is a related to a anxiety condition and OCD like ruminations. This site have this approach.
> 
> https://anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation/


Yes i will wait. If the Zyprexa doesn't work, i will try *last but not least* the Lamotrigine + SSRI Combo. Are there any good Antidepressant you can recommend me? A with a motivating effective approach? For me Celexa, Paxil etc. was only making me sleep and eat, like a brainless zombie -_- For the anxiety i still have remaining (mostly because of this condition), i'll take 0,5 mg Xanax a day. 0,25mg in the morning, 0,25 in the evening. Don't have much impact on me. I tried everything on the list, of this website you gave me. Since 2 years i don't have anything better to do.







And neither i have OCD.


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## Findmywayhome (Oct 11, 2020)

Hey, reading this would have been so comforting to me about 4 months ago. I was dealing with the same thing. I got DPDR last september, I couldn't help but notice that it got worse and worse and worse and never seemed to stop. Unlike you, medication did help me, it didnt change the DPDR at all, in fact it mightve made it a little bit worse, but it put me in a better emotional state to deal with it.

It took me so long to realize that I was in fact contributing to it getting worse a whole lot. During the period I would always question why it got worse because I was doing everything "right", I ate good, slept good, distracted myself, was productive, etc etc. But what I didn't take into account was how much I ruminated on it. I can't stress this enough; the rumination was non stop, overthinking on top of overthinking, writing entire essays on this forum everyday explaining my struggle. I laugh at it now, I truly didn't realize how much I was obsessed over it, and that was more than likely why it kept getting worse. In December, I started to change, I lived my life a little more normally, I felt more relaxed, I stopped obsessing and counting the days of how long I had this illness. Eventually I started to become unaware of the progression of my DPDR, low and behold, it actually started to stop getting worse.

This is all to say, try and see if there is a possible reason for why your DPDR leeps getting worse. My guess is the ampunt of medication youve taken. I would honestly recommend to stop meds all together, allow your body to recover, and go from there. Best of luck.


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## 35467 (Dec 31, 2010)

You can use anti-depressants from the SSRI or SNRI class in a combination. It is really up to you what drug and side-effect profile that suits you best.


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## Num8Freak (Feb 27, 2021)

Findmywayhome said:


> Hey, reading this would have been so comforting to me about 4 months ago. I was dealing with the same thing. I got DPDR last september, I couldn't help but notice that it got worse and worse and worse and never seemed to stop. Unlike you, medication did help me, it didnt change the DPDR at all, in fact it mightve made it a little bit worse, but it put me in a better emotional state to deal with it.
> 
> It took me so long to realize that I was in fact contributing to it getting worse a whole lot. During the period I would always question why it got worse because I was doing everything "right", I ate good, slept good, distracted myself, was productive, etc etc. But what I didn't take into account was how much I ruminated on it. I can't stress this enough; the rumination was non stop, overthinking on top of overthinking, writing entire essays on this forum everyday explaining my struggle. I laugh at it now, I truly didn't realize how much I was obsessed over it, and that was more than likely why it kept getting worse. In December, I started to change, I lived my life a little more normally, I felt more relaxed, I stopped obsessing and counting the days of how long I had this illness. Eventually I started to become unaware of the progression of my DPDR, low and behold, it actually started to stop getting worse.
> 
> This is all to say, try and see if there is a possible reason for why your DPDR leeps getting worse. My guess is the ampunt of medication youve taken. I would honestly recommend to stop meds all together, allow your body to recover, and go from there. Best of luck.


Hey, thank you for this nice answer. Yes i think that's the very last thing i need to recover. But my symptoms are so severe that distraction and not ruminating about it, is very hard/impossible. When i try to not think about, get in the kitchen just to get a glass of water, BANG. Totaly dissocation attack. And then i automatically think about it







Or when i have a conversation with someone, BANG. Dissociation attack mid sentence. Then i'm pretty much done with conversation, and totally forgot what i just said







Any tipps to force the body, to not think about it? I just discontinued the Paxil.


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## Num8Freak (Feb 27, 2021)

*Update: 01.04.21 *

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I'm now 5 days off Paxil. I feel a little bit more natural, but unfortunately not in the name of my DP/DR. Crying, sleeping and laughing is now a bit easier, with SSRI's i'm always like a emotionless zombie. I have nothing in terms of withdrawal symptoms except dizziness, when i look around with me eyes (weird). And now 15 days with Zyprexa, no changes on my DP/DR, but getting out of the bed with this stuff is so hard, because of it sedating effect. If it won't do anything in 2 Weeks, i will stop taking it and start with the (feared by all doctors







) good ol' Lamictal. Will keep you updated !


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