# People drain me



## Guest (Nov 30, 2011)

Does anyone feel drained by people? I sit around the table with family and don't understand how people can talk soo much and about such little nonsensicle things for so long. My responeses are yes, sure, aha, right, oh ya, awesome..

but more than anything I feel it a torture to have to listen and then respond... I can go on for 20 min just fine.. more than that is like death to me.

Does anyone with DP feel like this?


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## InfiniteDivine (Aug 9, 2011)

Yup! Unfortunately too true.


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## Quifouett (Sep 13, 2011)

I felt like this before DP, now I try to be interested in what people say, I feel less alone.


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2011)

Quifouett said:


> I felt like this before DP, now I try to be interested in what people say, I feel less alone.


i try so hard to want to listen. I know its good to be balanced.. to listen and also speak up.. but i just feel drained after a little while.. ill just keep trying..


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## Antinatalist000 (Nov 29, 2011)

I'm the same way. I feel like a deer in the headlights when I am around other people. It's like my brain, body, everything tightens and my sensitivity becomes EXTREMELY acute. I am sure this is helpful for an animal that feels threatened by a predator for a short period of time, but when it extends for long periods of time from just being around harmless people...ffs! Basically my theory is that the brain gets stuck in "I'm threatened let's get the fuck out of here" mode and that's what causes DP. It also accounts for the blank mind type state people talk about.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

that would be hypervigilance



Antinatalist000 said:


> I'm the same way. I feel like a deer in the headlights when I am around other people. It's like my brain, body, everything tightens and my sensitivity becomes EXTREMELY acute. I am sure this is helpful for an animal that feels threatened by a predator for a short period of time, but when it extends for long periods of time from just being around harmless people...ffs! Basically my theory is that the brain gets stuck in "I'm threatened let's get the fuck out of here" mode and that's what causes DP. It also accounts for the blank mind type state people talk about.


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## LuckyBreak (Oct 31, 2011)

this reminds me alot about something i heard about introverted and extroverted people. Extroverted people like to be around people and have a hard time being alone and are pretty much more of an open book, but introverted people are more likely to like their private time and need time to get their strength back up after long social situations. No one is right imo, just one like to go out all the time and socialize and the introverts can have just as much fun reading a book or drawing a painting and whatnot. I think introverts just need time to process all that is going on once in awhile for things to make sense.


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## Antinatalist000 (Nov 29, 2011)

kate_edwin said:


> that would be hypervigilance


hmm... never heard of that before, but it does sound basically the same. The only difference is that I don't actually scan the environment for threats.


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## baking_pineapple (Apr 27, 2011)

stardustcrust said:


> Does anyone feel drained by people? I sit around the table with family and don't understand how people can talk soo much and about such little nonsensicle things for so long. My responeses are yes, sure, aha, right, oh ya, awesome..
> 
> but more than anything I feel it a torture to have to listen and then respond... I can go on for 20 min just fine.. more than that is like death to me.
> 
> Does anyone with DP feel like this?


I'm the same way. Something that helped me tremendously, though, was taking an active listening class. I took one before starting to work for a crisis line and it completely shifted my mindset when listening to someone. Once I learned what to do (parroting, paraphrasing, saying key words, and a lot more that I forgot), I actually found myself getting excited when another person talked, as it gave me an opportunity to apply my new skills. The key for me was viewing the whole thing as a game, one that had learnable rules and required my active, conscious attention to master. I had to force myself out of passivity, which is definitely the hardest part, and start paying attention to the cues that signled when and how to respond. I admit, it's a very detached, scientific approach to something most people expect to be organic, but it works. I found too that after a while of acting like I was interested, I, unwittingly, started feeling genuinely interested in what the other person had to say. It's crazy how such a little change can have such a drastic effect. I always resisted (and still do) doing it--that is, playing the social game--because I always expected that I should genuinely feel something before i act. In reality, I've learned that emotions follow actions, so the only way to start is by learning the individual speech acts that comprise social interaction. I really recommend it...


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

Thanks, I do and I'm not sure if it's more intense since dp started. I have more of a social life these days than I did before dp, so it may be that I've always found people depleting, since I'm pretty sure I've always been an introvert.

I sometimes think that it's harder for me to do one-on-one people time now, though; before dp, it seemed like I always had one best friend or other person I could spend hours with and not get worn out, and, now, it seems like I have a ton of different friendships that aren't as deep as any that I used to have. My dp started after a breakup, so it may be that some intimacy/attachment issues contribute to both.


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## LucidLife (Dec 5, 2011)

Yep, feel the same exact way.


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## TheEndIsFuckingNigh (Aug 25, 2011)

stardustcrust said:


> Does anyone feel drained by people? I sit around the table with family and don't understand how people can talk soo much and about such little nonsensicle things for so long. My responeses are yes, sure, aha, right, oh ya, awesome..
> 
> but more than anything I feel it a torture to have to listen and then respond... I can go on for 20 min just fine.. more than that is like death to me.
> 
> Does anyone with DP feel like this?


Yes. Yes. Exactly.


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## mcalohan (Dec 30, 2011)

I get lost. Its all too much to keep up with. I'm trying to keep up with the conversation and then someone lies and it fucks me all up. Now I'm trying to keep up with the conversation, figure out why this person lied, keep reading everyone else, beat the shit out of myself in my head, guard what I say, then there's the other part....

Yes, it is very taxing being around people.


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## Lostwanderer (Jan 31, 2011)

Antinatalist000 said:


> I'm the same way. I feel like a deer in the headlights when I am around other people. It's like my brain, body, everything tightens and my sensitivity becomes EXTREMELY acute. I am sure this is helpful for an animal that feels threatened by a predator for a short period of time, but when it extends for long periods of time from just being around harmless people...ffs! Basically my theory is that the brain gets stuck in "I'm threatened let's get the fuck out of here" mode and that's what causes DP. It also accounts for the blank mind type state people talk about.


I get the same exact thing. Thought I was the only one- I just made it all worse for myself as I started to dwell on social interactions. Cant believe that I did that. But now ive got to realize that its all part of DP.

It is a terrifying experience though, and makes everyday life really hard. Being around people just seems impossible with DP.


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