# Married to someone with DP



## Moonmagickandmj (Nov 17, 2017)

Hello all. I am married to an absolute gem. My husband is very kind and caring. He is incredibly intelligent and pick things up very quickly. Within the last year I've come to think that he has depersonalization disorder. But we live in a small town and all the therapists I've called haven't even heard of the disorder. I struggle understanding how I can help if at all. This is all new to me and I have no idea where to turn. Any information will be helpful.


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

Hi, welcome to the forum. People can dissociate for a variety of reasons. It could be a long build up of stress, or unresolved emotional issues for example.

A member here wrote a magazine to act as an introduction to the condition. You can find it here:

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/74586-members-guides-to-depersonalization/

There's also a very good thread that compiles many of the approaches people have found useful:

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/20892-the-holy-grail-of-curing-dpdr/

Hope this helps


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## nocturnalman (Nov 15, 2017)

Hi moon ,make sure that he doesnt start reading about it too much.While DR is hell for many of us ,because of the high levels of anxiety and numbness ,it happens to protect a person from the build up of stress ,which acts like a barrier.I dont think that doctors and psychologists have much experience regarding this disorder because it is very complex and new (not really new ,but not long time ago recognized as a disorder).
You should talk to him and find out what stressed him in the past ,if he suffered from some trauma etc...then you can figure out how you can make changes in his life that relieve him from the symptoms and maybe find the cause of it.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Moonmagickandmj said:


> Hello all. I am married to an absolute gem. My husband is very kind and caring. He is incredibly intelligent and pick things up very quickly. Within the last year I've come to think that he has depersonalization disorder. But we live in a small town and all the therapists I've called haven't even heard of the disorder. I struggle understanding how I can help if at all. This is all new to me and I have no idea where to turn. Any information will be helpful.


The best thing you can do for him as his partner is to support and listen when needed....

You DO NOT need to babysit him....In fact all he needs from others is some partience and understanding that there are times when he simply isnt going to be able to manage with day to day stuff as he normally would....

Please try not to Pep talk....It was my pet hate during my bad periods....It does more harm than good...

Please also try to avoid the pull your socks up speech....It can demoralize a person with mental ill health and leave them feeling like a total burden on their loved ones and friends and family....

People with mental ill health dont want constant sympathy and people running around after them doing everything for them....They simply want the people around them to have some understanding that they are not well and need to take things ALOT easier for the time being....

Unfortunately alot of people around someone with mental ill health fail to understand the impact it has on the sufferers ability to cope and function and get on with everyday life simply because its basically invisable ....

The other thing to remember is to take care of yourself....Living with someone with a mental health issue can take its toll on others around them too....So please look after your own health and stress levels....

Stress at all levels is anxiety, depression and DPs best friend.....It HAS to be kept to a minimum...But at the same time DO NOT walk on egg shells around him...

Take care of yourselves guys!!!


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