# Last symptom “existential thoughts”



## Blue Tears (Apr 29, 2017)

Hi everyone, I hope you guys are doing well!

So I have had Depersonalisation Disorder for a year now, below are the symptoms I had when I first got this condition:

• Severe DR/2D Vision 
• insomnia 
• hyper awareness 
• lack of appetite 
• existential thoughts 
• scared of reality and my surroundings 
• dejavu moments 
• memory problems 
• social anxiety 
• 24/7 suicidal ideation 
• emotional bluntness

What I have now left for my 100% recovery:
• mild existential thoughts 
• on/off suicidal ideation, usually doesn't last long.

Has anyone been able to get over these thoughts? they're my only symptoms that are stopping me from recovering fully, it's been a journey for me, one year is not long for some people but for me it felt like an eternity and I learned a lot about myself and the disorder.

And yes I did get dp/dr because of fucking !!"MARIJUANA"!!!

Thanks guys!


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## M1k3y (Sep 19, 2016)

did u use any medication to get back to normal? or r u on medication rn?

existential thoughts, id just say know that ur real, and the dumb things u think of are not real and move on, the second u start thinking about that crap, get up and do something

and suicidal thoughts hmm, if ur not really suicidal i guess make a joke about it, i do it all the time

idk man good luck, i just wish i could talk like i use to, or feel more myself so i can talk, if i had that, dp wouldnt be so hard


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## Stoned_Tuesdays (Nov 1, 2017)

Also got DP/DR from weed.

Funny how peoples symptoms seem to vary in intensity and length, but the existential questioning was one of the first things to go for me. I would say that it was one of the symptoms that I actually had to fight against, as opposed to simply just letting it fade away.

The way that worked for me was a sort of CBD type approach, similar to what the poster above said. Whenever you have a weird existential thought, notice it, and replace it with something that you KNOW about reality. I don't know the nature of your existential thoughts, but for me, they had to do with purpose, why I am here, why is the universe so big, none of this makes sense, etc. For example: you might feel freaked out by the fact that we are a bunch of cells in the middle of the universe on a floating rock. But instead of succumbing to the anxiety, try re-framing it as something you would like to believe about life. For me, this was "I am a vessel that is lucky enough to view and experience the only known universe," or something along those lines.

It was very awkward for me at first, and didn't initially bring very much relief. However, after a while, I believe you can re-train your brain to view these anxious, existential thoughts as something totally non-harmful. This is what worked for me, and these days I hardly ever have existential thoughts, and the ones I do have are natural, and can actually be fun to think about. I hope that you soon find relief from these plaguing thoughts! 

-Brian


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## Blue Tears (Apr 29, 2017)

Thanks for the reply brian, im glad it was one of the first things to abolish for you.. but for me it's different I've always been obsessed with things throughout my life the good and the bad, the one I have currently is in the bad category I have noticed that my existential obsessions have lessened over time, but it has not completely gone I'm still grateful for this because I remember the days I could barely move out of bed.

Maybe the key is just time for me, the storm has passed now I have a little bit of rain and thunder going on, but hopefully in time it should get back to A1, thanks for the message anyway keeps me clear minded that's it possible to get over it.


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## Lexy67 (Sep 23, 2017)

I suffer from hyperviglance and that causes insomnia. I have been trying to relax but I have a clenched stomach and a tense face. Nothing at this time seems to work.


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## Flavius (Jun 11, 2016)

Existential thoughts is what I'm most obsessed it. Vastness of universe freaking me out. Existence of life freaking me out. Why there is anything rather than nothing? What is God? Is there soul?


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## thanksforbeingalive (Dec 22, 2017)

i have aproximately the same thougths, how to fight them?


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## Martin19 (Jan 11, 2018)

Hi I have similar thoughts and feelings.
Why am I me? Why am I in this body?
Sometimes get like a trapped feeling?
And thoughts seem strange I also have OCD.


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## Martin19 (Jan 11, 2018)

Hi I have obsessive thoughts about existence and feel a bit freaked out by it. I have been diagnosed with ocd which doesn't help because I start obsessing about how I feel. Just want to know people that have got through this hell


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## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

What is 2D vision?


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## Cosmic.loser (Jan 8, 2018)

Sharon22 said:


> What is 2D vision?


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## Cosmic.loser (Jan 8, 2018)

When your depth perception is altered , everything will look like it has a higher contrast around it and look like it's "popping out." I used to say it looked 3D but we live in a 3D world. For instance normal people have the social awareness of someone was sitting against a couch on a wall they would know they weren't touching the wall. The visual distortion of derealization can make them look paper flat almost like they are touching the wall completely. It fuckkks with me.


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