# A Shy Hello.



## Hero (Sep 11, 2013)

Hello. My name is Mariam. I'm a 16-year-old Egyptian girl. I signed up here few months ago but my shyness prevented me from posting about myself. I'm finally doing it now.

I have been getting this feeling that I don't exist and everything around me is not real for years. (I don't remember when or how it started or even what caused it but I was never really happy in all my life and have always felt lonely.) It got unbearable in the last 3 or 4 months having that feeling all the time. It never leaves me alone and it keeps getting worse. I remember I used to stare at something directly to feel that it's real but now I don't do that anymore, It doesn't work and it might make me feel even worse. I have a terrible fear of becoming blind which is making my OCD crazy. Sometimes I feel like there's something on my eyes and it makes me feel that I'm going to be blind at that moment. It's the worst and scariest feeling ever.

I feel that I'm nothing and everything I see is just nothing. I don't even think everything is from my imagination because I also feel that my imagination is nothing. I can't believe anything is true anymore. I'm always lost. I guess I got used to living with it that it feels normal. I tell myself that I don't care about it anymore, but I know I'm lying&#8230;

Thank you very much for reading, I appreciate that. It took me a long time to think of what to say. Have a great day.


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## seafoamwaves (Sep 20, 2013)

Nice to meet you, don't worry most people are friendly here... until we start arguing over how to actually recover from DP lol.


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## SheWontFollow (Apr 16, 2013)

thanks for sharing Mariam.


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