# Does anyone else suffering from DP have a partner?



## Confused1994 (Nov 25, 2012)

I have been suffering from Dp for about a year or so. I have been in a serious relationship for over a year as well. I feel like I want to be with my boyfriend but it's not fair to him to have a girlfriend that is barely real. I'm also anxious and get upset at that stupidest things. How do I make things easier on my boyfriend? He knows about my problems but I feel like I'm not worthy of anyone.


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## Holly (Nov 10, 2012)

Oh no. You sound exactly like my ex-boyfriend when we were together. I don't have DP, but he does. He would always be saying that he didn't deserve me and stuff like that. And about a month ago he broke up with me because after I went back to college for my last year, his DP got a lot worse. Now I feel like I'm just waiting...I love him no matter what, on his good days and bad days. But he didn't let me in, and I can't do anything else for him









All I can say is that if your boyfriend makes you happy, and he loves you for who you are, let him in. I mean, it's got to feel a lot better when you can talk to someone about all of this, right? And if you keep living your life how you want to, not stressing over the DP, you will eventually get better. I feel like I've got a pretty good understanding of this condition now, after joining this site, and it's a defense mechanism of the brain. If you keep living like how you want to, it will come to the conclusion that there aren't any more threats, and it will go away. Maybe not 100%, but you will not be this way forever. Don't give up hope.

I know I don't have DP and I can't fully understand what you're going through, so feel free to tell me to STFU, but I just wanted to give you my take on it.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Hollym_07 For someone who does not have dp, you give great advice in regards to it









Confused1994 I don't have a boyfriend at the moment but I did, and i use to be like you and get mad at everything little thing. Long story short I left him and he has now moved on. I would do anything to have someone with me while going through this affliction but I don't. Appreciate your boyfriend, because trust me it sucks ten times worse going through this alone. Trust me..

You have to remember even though you don't feel real, you still are REAL







so you feel real to him...the feelings of dp/dr are very destructive. if you let it, it will distroy your friendships, jobs, schooling,life, everything. Don't let it destroy your relationship. if you want to leave him let it be for a good reason, like he is a jerk face or something....not because of your dp..


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## Ivan Hawk (Jan 22, 2010)

All I have to say is, stay together with those you love in facing this. It makes all the difference in the world. Sure there's ups and downs, but as long as there's usually more ups and lots of understanding of each others - that what really matters. Love doesn't have to be complicated if it's felt and embraced.

Don't break up just because of DP, it's not worthy of breaking up a decent relationship over! Loneliness makes DP worse. Sometimes even an "ok" or "somewhat bad" relationship is just lacking curiosity that can expand each partners' emotions and confidence in each other so much more. Be more curious than critical and you'll go a long way.


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## Holly (Nov 10, 2012)

chelsy010 said:


> Hollym_07 For someone who does not have dp, you give great advice in regards to it
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ha, thanks. I kind of buried myself in this site when he broke up with me :-/ I feel like I've learned a lot though.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

I actually believe the only thing that can conquer this illness is love....Giving love and feeling loved by others takes the lonliness of this sickness away...


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## Holly (Nov 10, 2012)

eddy1886 said:


> I actually believe the only thing that can conquer this illness is love....Giving love and feeling loved by others takes the lonliness of this sickness away...


Aw! I definitely think it's a big help. Now if only my ex-boyfriend would see that...


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## Holly (Nov 10, 2012)

eddy1886 said:


> I actually believe the only thing that can conquer this illness is love....Giving love and feeling loved by others takes the lonliness of this sickness away...


Oh, and this is the song that I listen to a lot these days, thinking about him. Such a good song, and a lot of the lyrics remind me of the whole situation.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

I feel this way too, that's why idk if i want a girlfriend or get in a relationship right now because i feel like i can't give someone what they need emotionally and mentally. I feel like i'm not worthy or like i'm not human sometimes.


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## Jamie780 (Nov 12, 2012)

I have a loving bf he loves me and our son a lot! Except he doesnt understand that this is a mental illness he keeps pushing me to doctors.. but the doctors have no idea... ive had every test damn near possible. I couldnt imagine going threw this alone the only this that im worried about is when i am done recieving money for maturnity leave and having to get a job... he wont want me to sit at home doing nothing but i dont know if i can work like this and im scared he wont understand.. i try not to talk about it to him to much because he gets really worried and wishes he could help plus i dont wanna seem crazy even though i kinda am ..


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## Holly (Nov 10, 2012)

livinginhell333 said:


> I feel this way too, that's why idk if i want a girlfriend or get in a relationship right now because i feel like i can't give someone what they need emotionally and mentally. I feel like i'm not worthy or like i'm not human sometimes.


In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, what the problem is is that you really just need to realize that sometimes you need to admit that you can't be in control of everything. There are people out there who can take the challenge that DP brings. Just accept that you may need to sit back and focus on yourself to get better. And if you have someone who will wait for you to go through this, or go through it with you, then you are one lucky guy.

That's just my opinion.


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## Justinian585 (Dec 4, 2012)

I actually did, but that relationship was ruined the minute this started.


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## Confused1994 (Nov 25, 2012)

hollym_07 said:


> Oh no. You sound exactly like my ex-boyfriend when we were together. I don't have DP, but he does. He would always be saying that he didn't deserve me and stuff like that. And about a month ago he broke up with me because after I went back to college for my last year, his DP got a lot worse. Now I feel like I'm just waiting...I love him no matter what, on his good days and bad days. But he didn't let me in, and I can't do anything else for him
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you so much =) You really have helped me, I really loved reading about the side of the relationship without Dp. I'm so glad I'm not alone, and thank you everyone for your replys


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## Confused1994 (Nov 25, 2012)

hollym_07 said:


> In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, what the problem is is that you really just need to realize that sometimes you need to admit that you can't be in control of everything. There are people out there who can take the challenge that DP brings. Just accept that you may need to sit back and focus on yourself to get better. And if you have someone who will wait for you to go through this, or go through it with you, then you are one lucky guy.
> 
> That's just my opinion.


I felt like I had to control everything as well, but I have learned that,that makes Dp worse. You really need to relax.


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## Confused1994 (Nov 25, 2012)

chelsy010 said:


> Hollym_07 For someone who does not have dp, you give great advice in regards to it
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you for your help =)


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## Holly (Nov 10, 2012)

Confused1994 said:


> Thank you so much =) You really have helped me, I really loved reading about the side of the relationship without Dp. I'm so glad I'm not alone, and thank you everyone for your replys


No problem, I'm glad to be of help! Send me a message if you ever need to talk.


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## Anonymous12345 (Nov 15, 2012)

eddy1886 said:


> I actually believe the only thing that can conquer this illness is love....Giving love and feeling loved by others takes the lonliness of this sickness away...


Very very true


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## Nikorii (Jun 23, 2012)

At least you guys can feel the love... DP makes me so emotionally numb that when I look at my boyfriend I Can't feel anything this drives me completely nuts because I know I love him.. suddenly when the DP came I just couldn't feel it and it scared me to death... 
I don't know what to do anymore..


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## mipmunk40 (Nov 13, 2012)

I lost my BF only recently. We had only been together a few weeks before my DP kicked in. I didn't think it was fair on him to wait around for me to get better. I think the world of him, but I think he had lost his patience. So this f*cking DP cost me my relationship too.


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## Neil_ (Dec 8, 2012)

Confused1994 said:


> I have been suffering from Dp for about a year or so. I have been in a serious relationship for over a year as well. I feel like I want to be with my boyfriend but it's not fair to him to have a girlfriend that is barely real. I'm also anxious and get upset at that stupidest things. How do I make things easier on my boyfriend? He knows about my problems but I feel like I'm not worthy of anyone.


Me and my GF have just broken up because of my condition,she doesnt really understand what im going through. nether do i.


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## joxerthemighty39 (Dec 6, 2012)

Nikorii said:


> At least you guys can feel the love... DP makes me so emotionally numb that when I look at my boyfriend I Can't feel anything this drives me completely nuts because I know I love him.. suddenly when the DP came I just couldn't feel it and it scared me to death...
> I don't know what to do anymore..


I am in a relationship with the most wonderful, beautiful person I've ever met. I had just started Celexa when we met. Over a period of a couple of months, we became very close and fell in love, and we became an official couple. Immediately, the ROCD (relationship OCD) was biting at my heels, but I recognized it as that, and fought it off. A month into the relationship, the DP got strong. I've had DP on and off for about 18 years (I didn't figure out what I had until last year). I'll have scary moments where I feel like I'm dreaming, but even worse now, is this constant numbness that has taken over. (I went off the Celexa when it started getting really bad, that was September.) I feel disconnected from my boyfriend to a point where it often doesn't feel like I have a boyfriend, and yet when I am with him, I still want to hold him, and kiss him. A part of me still knows we're together and that I love him, but I feel so numb so much of the time, like I'm not even there. He tries to understand it, and he reassures me when he can. I can feel things sometimes, but it feels like those experiences are getting fewer and farther between. I know I need to calm down or it won't go away, but I worry that I don't love him anymore, even though I know that the very fact that I'm so upset about it means I do love him. He is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me, and I only wish I was "here" to enjoy it. He says he knows I love him, because he can see it in my eyes at certain moments. I find those moments do tend to be moments when I'm feeling a little less numb. That gives me a bit of strength, that I'm still here somewhere. This seems to be a terrible combination of DP and ROCD for me. I think it was triggered when my mother told me my younger brother felt awkward around my boyfriend and me when we'd do couple-y things like hold hands, and it just brought back all of this weird guilt from my past. (I used to have a lot of sexual guilt from going to Catholic school) I'm sorry, this is such a long, rambling thing, I just need to put it out there, to get it out of my head a bit. Thanks if you read this.


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