# Friend of mine e-mailed this to me...



## mimomo (Apr 19, 2012)

Apparently, a now good friend of mine has been where we've all been and has been helping me tremendously. He came on this forum every now and then back in the day and told me to submit this, so here goes.

Hello, all. I'm a long time lurker (since about 2007), first time poster. I promise to try and not make this post too long, as most of you are a bit impatient (don't even deny it - I was, too). Just a warning - I tend to curse a bit, and some of the material here is mature themed, so be warned.
Basically put, I had DP/DR for over 7 months. It all started with a bad hit of weed, which I later found out actually was wet, and it fucked my mind up. Bad. Like, I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure. I didn't realize any change at all, and whatever change was there, I immediately attributed it to the fact that I had just had a seizure. After a few weeks, though, it stayed. I went to the doctor and he explained to me that I was just going through anxiety. Well, I wasn't buying it. I kept convincing myself that something was seriously wrong with me. I was sure I had some kind of permanent brain damage from the wet, and that I would develop schizophrenia and eventually die...a lot of very strange, very untrue things were going through my mind. I had heart palpitations, back aches, very short term memory, etc. Even after many brain scans, many tests, many procedures, the doctors, psychologists, neurologists, all said the same thing - it's just severe anxiety. So that's the first thing I want you to get from this: as crazy as you think your thoughts are, they are not true - it's your mind overreacting. I say this after you've had a proper doctor evaluation, because you just never know. If you've already been to the doctor like I have and have spent all your money on fucking tests, just stop it already and take their word for it. 
I became an extreme hermit. I stayed inside almost all day, only leaving to take the garbage out or pay a bill I couldn't pay online or over the phone. I would sulk all day, watch TV, stay on the computer for hours, go to sleep, repeat. At the time of all this, I had a home job where I was making decent money, but not enough to pay my bills. Needless to say, the DP/DR got worse day after day until the day came where I actually considered taking my own life. I had a knife in one hand and the National Suicide Hotline on speaker in the other. If you are considering suicide, I highly suggest you talk to someone at 1-800-273-8255.
Now for the good part of the story...one day, my mom insisted I get out of the house and go shopping with her. I said yes without really thinking, and next thing I know, I'm in a car. I immediately start freaking out and having a panic attack. I kept waiting for the worst to happen, for me to just black out and start convulsing or SOMETHING, but...it never happened. I was able to go to the store with her, extremely distracted, but still, completely okay for the most part. I never passed out. I never blacked out. I never died. I was terrified, yes, but so unbelievably proud of myself. 
I did this everyday for about a month. Before I would go out, I would dress as nicely as I could. Even though I would think things like, 'People aren't real. I'm the only one who exists. Everything is fake. etc.', I still made an effort. I smiled, even though it felt fake, and talked to people, even though I would feel little to no connection. Remember, your mind has been with itself for so long in boredom, any little excitement freaks it out and it takes a while to recover. This is completely normal. For some people, it lasts a day. Others, weeks, or maybe even months or a year. However, recovery is completely possible if you're willing to work towards it.
One morning, I was awoken by a text message I had received from one of my friends - yes, friends. She had asked me out on an actual date and I said yes. I was so excited, I fucking swear, I JUMPED out of bed and showered, put some lotion on, cologne, got dressed, everything - it was ridiculous. I picked her up, we went to the beach, dinner, all that good shit - I even got a kiss at the end of the night and when I got home, I stayed up talking to her until about 3 in the morning. During this whole time, I hadn't had a single thought about DP or DR. I remember at one point thinking, 'I'm so nervous', or 'I hope this doesn't happen, or that, or so and so doesn't show up', but never, 'This isn't real'. When I realized this, I almost fell right back into that anxious hole, but I came to the realization that it was just a thought, and the thought could not harm me. The thought was mixed in with all the other bullshit thoughts in my mind, but it was just a thought. It wasn't true - I had felt the connection with this girl. I had actual fun and excitement. It was one of the best days of my entire fucking life. 
I don't give a fuck if you've had this for a few weeks or a few years - it's possible to recover. Absolutely. If you're thinking right now, 'wow, this guy sure has a lot of luck, fucking great for him, too bad that will never be me', then stop it. Just stop it. What's the point in you even thinking that? Constantly thinking negatively = more negativity. However, thinking positively = more positivity. Don't even sit there and say that's bullshit, because it's not. If you're thinking positively and still having a hard time, just take it easy and be patient. Keep thinking positively, anyway. 
Is there a place you really want to go but you're too afraid to go there? Go anyway. That's what I did. I can't tell you how many times I sat in a movie theater, or during dinner, or during a trip to the grocery store, panicking so bad that I felt like crawling out of my own skin and never coming back. However, I did it anyway and thought positive, happy thoughts the entire time. You are not your thoughts. So:
1. Don't pay attention to your negative thoughts. Every time one arises, just think, 'That's bullshit.' and think of something to replace that thought. There is no truth to any of your delusion, philosophical thoughts, and never will be.
2. Do the things that scare you most. I know, you've heard that before, but do it, especially if it's something you have to do (going to work, for example). The worst that could happen? You having a panic attack. Sure, they're scary, but you know what? It's not gonna kill you. So just do it.
3. Go to the doctor and get a check-up. Don't spend a shitload of money if you can help it, but explain what's happening and see what they say. 
4. Go outside! Be healthy! Exercise! Take vitamins! B6 & B12 combined with Omega-3 and Vitamin C did wonders for me in a very small, but very noticeable way. While the vitamins aren't absolutely essential, I do suggest exercising every single day. Even if it's just walking around the neighborhood, or dancing to a few songs in your living room - do it.
5. While I personally didn't take medication, if you feel like you can't survive another day without it, take it. However, don't expect the pill to make all your problems go away. The pill only sets you up - it's up to ultimately YOU and your willpower to make shit happen.
There was something a user on here Copeful said back in 2007 (edited):
Nah if you're not suffering Pure O [obsession] you wouldn't obsess. simple as that.
EVERYONE has experienced DP/DR atleast once in their life, how many get out immediately and not pay it another thought? 99.9% 
How unbelievably true. I sat down and talked with my mom about this many times, and she said it was completely normal to question reality, and that I wasn't going insane. I could never understand how she was able to have been where I was, but it only lasting her a day or two, meanwhile for me, lasting over 7 months? In the end, it's all just unnecessary anxiety and panic.
It took about 2 weeks for me to completely change my thinking pattern. I realize that for most people, it's not that easy. There was a guy I knew back on here back in 2007 who claimed he had dealt with this shit for 4 years. Holy shit - 4 years of his life had been spent thinking everyday, nonstop, about his DP/DR. And that's another thing - while I do appreciate this website and the awareness it has brought on certain things, it also angers me to see so many members on here putting down others, telling them they'll never get better or scaring them into thinking it's something more serious than what it really is. The truth is, you'll get better when you want to get better. 
Think about when you were a kid, and your parents or guardian told you to clean your room. You were all, fuck that! But then, they promised you a couple of bucks or a new toy or whatever, and suddenly, you were more pumped to clean your room than any other time in your life, and guess what? The shit got done. So do what I did, and give yourself a goal each week. It could be something as simple as going for a walk, or something a little more challenging, like driving down the highway. Or even MORE challenging - visiting another state, or country. Think about nothing but the excitement and fun you'll have and nothing else.
There it is - most of what I wanted to say. If I forgot anything, I'll come back and update it. 
Keep your head up, guys. Ignore the haters. Ignore the incessant thoughts in your mind. Live your fantasy life to the best of your ability, and you will go far. 
Not gonna lie - every now and then, I'll have a day where I just want to stay inside and cry like a baby. Don't fucking do it, because once you start, you won't stop. Don't make excuses. Who gives a shit if it's raining? Go out, anyway. Be a douchebag and shout 'YOLO!' if you want while you splash around in it.
About that girl? We've been dating for a year and a half now, and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone better. We have our own little townhouse together, complete with a dog, a garden (that gets dug into at least once a week by the wonderful dog), and hopefully a little one on the way...someday.








The reason for posting on here now is because I feel like this is something I was meant to do. Not trying to get all weird and shit, but in my personal opinion, everyone goes through things for a reason. Call it spiritual, cosmic, I don't know, but after having DP/DR for so long, I became a much more patient person. I gradually learned to just let things go, and not to question so many things. I learned to live and enjoy every day as if it was my last day on earth. If this may be your last day on earth, don't you wanna go out with a bang? I'm not saying go streaking or anything, but...if you feel like doing it, fuck it - do it!
You're all some amazing fucking people, but honestly, you all think too much. Just take life for what it is. It's good to question, good to analyze, good to ask 'why?' every now and then, but obsessing and becoming frightened is no way to live. So:
-Let go
-Live like you're dying
-Go outside
-Interact with nature and other people
-Laugh. A LOT. 
-Fake it 'til you make it if you have to
Good luck, all. Stay beautiful, and to all the men, stay...handsome, or whatever.








I'll answer any questions if you need me to.


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## Guest (Jul 12, 2012)

can i talk to this person? i have a very important question for him. -thanks


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## Blower (Apr 18, 2012)

How do you hack this when you feel invisible and don't know who or what you are?


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## mimomo (Apr 19, 2012)

SmiggieBalls said:


> can i talk to this person? i have a very important question for him. -thanks


Sure thing, I'll post the e-mail in a few minutes. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help you two out.


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## mimomo (Apr 19, 2012)

[email protected]


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

mimomo said:


> Apparently, a now good friend of mine has been where we've all been and has been helping me tremendously. He came on this forum every now and then back in the day and told me to submit this, so here goes.
> 
> Hello, all. I'm a long time lurker (since about 2007), first time poster. I promise to try and not make this post too long, as most of you are a bit impatient (don't even deny it - I was, too). Just a warning - I tend to curse a bit, and some of the material here is mature themed, so be warned.
> Basically put, I had DP/DR for over 7 months. It all started with a bad hit of weed, which I later found out actually was wet, and it fucked my mind up. Bad. Like, I ended up in the hospital after having a seizure. I didn't realize any change at all, and whatever change was there, I immediately attributed it to the fact that I had just had a seizure. After a few weeks, though, it stayed. I went to the doctor and he explained to me that I was just going through anxiety. Well, I wasn't buying it. I kept convincing myself that something was seriously wrong with me. I was sure I had some kind of permanent brain damage from the wet, and that I would develop schizophrenia and eventually die...a lot of very strange, very untrue things were going through my mind. I had heart palpitations, back aches, very short term memory, etc. Even after many brain scans, many tests, many procedures, the doctors, psychologists, neurologists, all said the same thing - it's just severe anxiety. So that's the first thing I want you to get from this: as crazy as you think your thoughts are, they are not true - it's your mind overreacting. I say this after you've had a proper doctor evaluation, because you just never know. If you've already been to the doctor like I have and have spent all your money on fucking tests, just stop it already and take their word for it.
> ...


so is he 100% recoverd? like completely back to normal?


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## mimomo (Apr 19, 2012)

Completely back to 'normal', whatever that may be. I'm sure he still has his days, as everyone does, where he just wants to sulk and such, but he doesn't.


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