# Really bad couple of days



## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

Sorry guys, I really need to rant. The past few days I've been feeling worse than ever. I just can't envision myself ever getting better. I feel totally unreal, and the people I love seem like the friends and relatives of somebody else. I keep wondering whether I actually believe I exist at all, but if I worried about thinking that, then surely I believe the world exists? My mum acts like this isn't happening and when I do speak to her about it, she completely freaks out. My friends think that this is something that goes away and isn't serious. My boyfriend is making me really agitated by coplaining about how this is destroying our relationship. I just feel like there's no way out. I've only had this for three months but I'm so scared. I'm seeing a doctor on Thursday and I really hope it helps. I hope I get referred to a therapist - does anyone know how long roughly the waiting list is in the UK?

When your DP gets utterly unbearable, does it die down after a few days or does it keep getting worse? I don't know because I haven't had this long enough.
I feel really really unreal and worry I'm going to give up hope. I keep thinking "F***, is this really happening to me?" Gah. Sorry for the rant. I'm so scared right now.

Edit - Ah, sorry, I posted this in the wrong forum. :?


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## Starz5 (Jul 5, 2006)

How did your dp start? Mine was MJ induced two months ago exactly on the dreaded night of MAY 24 to be exact...panic attack while high. Woke up like this..scared the shit out of me when I looked in the mirror. My hands didnt feel real. conversations felt faaar away like I wasnt fully present. Things have gotten a lot better though than those first two weeks. I also feel this constant popping sound in my ears after all of this...I dont know what it is.

Ugh anyway, I know exactly how you feel..no one understands..and I KNOW how unbearable this can feel at times..yes it does get better, seriously keep going with life, the old saying "And this too shall pass"..I believe holds quite to be very true..no matter how unbearable this is...My mom is a very anxious person herself when I was a kid, I think she made me anxious...I was always kinda shy growing up.. and as an only child, I have a lot of expectations on me I feel I need to hold up to..but anyways..just ranting on..Hope you are feeling better these days, maybe you are which is awesome! and dont have to come back to this site..but it'd be great if you do feel better and let some of us know how you're doing and how you got better. like I said have felt a lot better...I guess through distraction and not constantly thinking about it...Im suppose to take a trip to LA next week, hopefully it will do me some good to visit my friend there..although I havent told him about this..told him the first week but now everyone just thinks its gone...cause I act normal...HMMM..maybe I AM normal..of course we all are, we just THINK we arent our brains are TEMPORARILY in this funk...We can all still smile even if its a fake smile..I can still drive, write, pretty much everything I used to do..just more thinking about it like am I actually feeling happy/sad..feeling? totall OVERANALYSIS, anxiety in overdrive I guess like others have said..we are doing this to ourselves right? Anyway, again hope youre feeling better..if you are, come shed some more hope, we always need WAY MORE POSITIVE TALK on here! Also think about how incredibly strong all of us are on here for going through this crap, everyone says to themselves but "normal people" dont understand or dont feel this which makes inturn harder for us b/c as humans we have an inate NEED to fit in and feel "Normal" and we internalize these feelings so much because of this which I believe Is pretty much anxiety in HIGH OVERDRIVE so when something this publicly unaware of comes up we dont "feel like them.. or fit in" but we're all humans and a testament this can pretty much happen to a lot of people though its seriously not talked about...I mean I would never understand before all this. But We will be an even stronger person coming through to the end of this dark/dreaded tunnel. Things WILL get better. We are fine and will be fine is what you have to keep saying. I know, I'm there with you, and Im not denying how bad it can feel. Im not going to be a hypocrit, I'll prob write on here one day of a really depressing day dealing with this..but this too, ..shall pass ..we must go on, and keep giving each other hope. You are fine.


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## +[ thedeadpoet ]+ (Jul 23, 2006)

Inspiring words indeed, sister.

And athough I have yet to post my personal story for all to see, lets keep up the *positive attitude* in this thread.

If I was to offer you one piece of advice to at least temporarily rid of dp/dr it would be *EXERSISE* and a *cold shower*.

As mentioned before, exercise increases blood flow and releases endorphenes and seratonin in the brain, which in turn will ease the feelings of hopelessness you feel about this fucking horrendous affliction.

Infact I just jogged for 10 minutes on the spot and already I'm noticing some mental clarity - a huge feat for me these days.

Now, I'm going to masturbate and strip the remainder of the wallpaper off my bedroom walls, whilst listening to U2s the Joshua Tree (although not all at once).

I'll post my story in an hour or so.


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