# Darkest before the dawn



## tds (Feb 7, 2011)

Got a question for those who have recovered.. towards the end of your recovery, did any symptoms worsen? i.e more headaches, lower energy levels etc before reality returned completely


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## flipwilson (Aug 19, 2006)

man i fucking hope they do cause i went from shit to shittiest over the weekend. The pressure that I've been complaining about when my dp is bad suddenly became 100x worse. I can only describe it as a muscle cramp, like when your hamstring gets so tight it turns into the size of a golf ball, well my brain seemed to do that. I was left with racing thoughts and underlying anxiety and fatigue from Thursday night to Saturday night. Whatever patterns I've gotten used to in the past 4 years seemed to have vanish and the DP has undeniably tightened its grip. I've had bits and pieces of my identity that I could clasp on to that helped me make it these past 4 years and I feel like that final thread just busted. Literally my brain feels like its being squeezed by the Hulk. This definitely means the end is near for one of us, but hopefully the dp goes before i decide to.


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## chunks (Apr 6, 2011)

suck people who have recovered dont stick around too much to answer question, im happy for them. look forward to joining them on the othersidde of all this


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## Guest (May 19, 2011)

chunks said:


> suck people who have recovered dont stick around too much to answer question, im happy for them. look forward to joining them on the othersidde of all this


sometimes it's no wonder. I completely (COMPLETELY) eliminated my panic attacks. And when I told this on an other forum, and said that you shouldn't take ANY medications, because panic attack can be beaten down with will power and bravery, few people started to hate me.

they didn't want to hear this. no wonder they don't get forward.


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## hihello (Sep 9, 2011)

Lowrey said:


> sometimes it's no wonder. I completely (COMPLETELY) eliminated my panic attacks. And when I told this on an other forum, and said that you shouldn't take ANY medications, because panic attack can be beaten down with will power and bravery, few people started to hate me.
> 
> they didn't want to hear this. no wonder they don't get forward.


I don't see why this would upset them seeing as it means they wouldn't have to rely on drugs forever.


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## Guest (Sep 9, 2011)

tds said:


> Got a question for those who have recovered.. towards the end of your recovery, did any symptoms worsen? i.e more headaches, lower energy levels etc before reality returned completely


I would say I am largely recovered - the gulf between how I was at my worst and how I am now is massive, but I won't say I'm fully recovered untill I'm able to change my real world circumstances and be living a normal life. like, doing a course, career, socialising, dating etc. That would be proof to me, so I'm like embreonically or potentially recovered if that makes sence









But in answer to your question, I would say that as recovery often involves releasing bad things - old pain, traumas, destructive thought patterns/behaviours etc. which we long cling to or struggle to keep a lid on, I think you have to expect bad patches along the way.
Abit like passing a kidney stone, I'de imagine. You're much better when it's gone, but it might hurt on the way out!

Recovery can involve going through profound changes and that can be difficult and draining. And yes, I think sometimes the final moments before a shift in perception can be very unnerving, and that there's a certain leap of faith involved.


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

I think I've been getting some of that nasty head stuff going on, too, where it actually feels like my brain is being squeezed, and there's this mental tension going on with it that can seem unbearable, that really isn't, and goes away. I don't know if that has anything to do with dp, or if it's just that I've got a lot of stress in my life at the moment. I've been in stressful, transitional parts of my life a number of times in the almost 9 years that I've had this, and don't remember getting this kind of inner tension so intensely. I'm hoping that means that some of my feelings are returning!


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm routinly around people who have recovered from other neuro or psych problems, and a "dark before the dawn" kind of thing has never been mentioned. I do know dissociation can very often get worse when you start treatment, but I don't think it's the kind of thing that suddenly gets worse before It goes away


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

kate_edwin said:


> I'm routinly around people who have recovered from other neuro or psych problems, and a "dark before the dawn" kind of thing has never been mentioned. I do know dissociation can very often get worse when you start treatment, but I don't think it's the kind of thing that suddenly gets worse before It goes away


Off topic a bit, but antidepressants can have the "dark before dawn" effect. People wait until they are critical to take the AD. Problem is there are some adjustment issues to the AD which often seem to make symptoms worse, before they become better. I believe this is why a lot of ADs have suicide as a risk factor.
I was having panic attacks, TLE symptoms, daily migraine aura and severe depression when I started taking Paxil (many years ago). I thought it was going to push me over the edge, before it started to slowly bring me back. The SSRI did work wonders before it was all over. It put an end to the panic attacks and "spells", and reduced the migraine aura to once every 3 or 4 months. It also slowly brought me out of my depressive episode. As much as I hate medications, I have to say the intervention with Paxil gave me another 20 years of life. The quality may not be the best, but it is life nonetheless. lol


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm pretty sure the suicide effect is from a change in serotonin, that's why it can happen when changing dose and going both on and off them


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## nearlyrecovered (Feb 1, 2012)

tds said:


> Got a question for those who have recovered.. towards the end of your recovery, did any symptoms worsen? i.e more headaches, lower energy levels etc before reality returned completely


Yes! Mine was really bad for the past two weeks. It felt like it did when it started. My thoughts were jumbled. I had horrible headaches, my vision was jumpy and just not right, I felt really odd in my state of mind, but today all that has gone and so has the DP. I think my brain was re-adjusting to reality.


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