# Recognizing Habit Cycles



## ChrisPA (Dec 22, 2009)

I am not sure where I am going with the post necessarily, and it is by no means a guide to recovery nor is it something that hasn't been said thousands of times previously. What I began to realize though recently is that DP/DR for me happens in a cycle. Similar to any other cycle such as the earth moving around the sun. I kept track of the way I felt for a few months, and what I realized is that each month I do the same thing. I have an intense episode of DP/DR for a night or a few days maybe. I freak out a little bit, go into a state of being hyper aware of everything I am doing and my surroundings, and then I over analyze the shit out of it. I might do this some days from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Now it's Monday and I go to work. I am usually busy with other things and the DP/DR isn't around at all. In the weekday evenings I might feel it a bit, some nights worse than others, and then I go through that all again the next week, and the next week... and the next week. What I began to realize with this though, is that I would always come out of the DP/DR unharmed and like it never happened. It might be for half a day, a whole day, a few days, or even a week. This was both frustrating but amazing at the same time. I am sure a lot of you on this forum go through it. You might have a few good days, or a few good hours and instead of just living your life and enjoying it, the whole time you are still thinking about yourself. "Maybe I am finally over this DP/DR thing." "I can't believe I am feeling this great!" We all get feelings and huge hopes such as this only to get knocked back down again by our first intense DP/DR thought or feeling. I am learning that too much thinking and reacting too strongly whether positively or negatively isn't the right approach. At least not for me. Lately I have just been approaching every and all DP/DR feelings I get with neutrality. When a DP/DR thought persists I see it through. I know that it is just anxiety working on me, because it's what I have got myself in the habit of doing for so long. If I would have never reacted so intensely to the original feeling of DP/DR I had it would not have developed such importance in my own head, and would have gone away just like any other worry in life we have. For me I guess it was important to just change things about my day to day. Let's face it, if we are going through DP/DR we have to actually change things about our lifestyles and our thought processes if it's ever going to change. There are many things people can do, and it might be different for everyone. One common thread is an overall healthy balanced diet. I don't think anyone can argue the importance of this. I use to eat like total garbage, drink multiple cups of coffee and cans of soda a day. I would eat so many different sweets daily. When I stopped doing these things, and took supplements I began to feel a difference in my mentality towards things. I also stopped sitting around on the internet or in my room doing nothing. I began being more active. I stopped coming to this forum daily, because that was a red flag to me that I am thinking about DP/DR and that it was unnecessary. These are just a few of the millions of positive actions you can choose to do rather than dwell on DP/DR. Just find things you enjoy, and when a DP/DR thought occurs see it through. Don't react to it. I feel that by not reacting to the feelings and thoughts I started to develop a new cycle. One where DP/DR doesn't have to control my day to day. I still have days where it effects me and that's okay. I live with it, and then I move on. I guess I am just trying to throw some positive encouragement out there. DP/DR doesn't have to be something huge. It doesn't have to be this insurmountable mountain we can't climb to the top of. It's just a thought that creates a feeling. It's no different than the thoughts and feelings we've had since the day we were born. The only difference with these thoughts and these feelings are that we absolutely hate them. The key is to not hate them, to not love them, but to feel nothing for them and the cycle will be broken.

-ChrisPA


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## imfromtheburgh (Mar 5, 2010)

ChrisPA said:


> I am not sure where I am going with the post necessarily, and it is by no means a guide to recovery nor is it something that hasn't been said thousands of times previously. What I began to realize though recently is that DP/DR for me happens in a cycle. Similar to any other cycle such as the earth moving around the sun. I kept track of the way I felt for a few months, and what I realized is that each month I do the same thing. I have an intense episode of DP/DR for a night or a few days maybe. I freak out a little bit, go into a state of being hyper aware of everything I am doing and my surroundings, and then I over analyze the shit out of it. I might do this some days from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Now it's Monday and I go to work. I am usually busy with other things and the DP/DR isn't around at all. In the weekday evenings I might feel it a bit, some nights worse than others, and then I go through that all again the next week, and the next week... and the next week. What I began to realize with this though, is that I would always come out of the DP/DR unharmed and like it never happened. It might be for half a day, a whole day, a few days, or even a week. This was both frustrating but amazing at the same time. I am sure a lot of you on this forum go through it. You might have a few good days, or a few good hours and instead of just living your life and enjoying it, the whole time you are still thinking about yourself. "Maybe I am finally over this DP/DR thing." "I can't believe I am feeling this great!" We all get feelings and huge hopes such as this only to get knocked back down again by our first intense DP/DR thought or feeling. I am learning that too much thinking and reacting too strongly whether positively or negatively isn't the right approach. At least not for me. Lately I have just been approaching every and all DP/DR feelings I get with neutrality. When a DP/DR thought persists I see it through. I know that it is just anxiety working on me, because it's what I have got myself in the habit of doing for so long. If I would have never reacted so intensely to the original feeling of DP/DR I had it would not have developed such importance in my own head, and would have gone away just like any other worry in life we have. For me I guess it was important to just change things about my day to day. Let's face it, if we are going through DP/DR we have to actually change things about our lifestyles and our thought processes if it's ever going to change. There are many things people can do, and it might be different for everyone. One common thread is an overall healthy balanced diet. I don't think anyone can argue the importance of this. I use to eat like total garbage, drink multiple cups of coffee and cans of soda a day. I would eat so many different sweets daily. When I stopped doing these things, and took supplements I began to feel a difference in my mentality towards things. I also stopped sitting around on the internet or in my room doing nothing. I began being more active. I stopped coming to this forum daily, because that was a red flag to me that I am thinking about DP/DR and that it was unnecessary. These are just a few of the millions of positive actions you can choose to do rather than dwell on DP/DR. Just find things you enjoy, and when a DP/DR thought occurs see it through. Don't react to it. I feel that by not reacting to the feelings and thoughts I started to develop a new cycle. One where DP/DR doesn't have to control my day to day. I still have days where it effects me and that's okay. I live with it, and then I move on. I guess I am just trying to throw some positive encouragement out there. DP/DR doesn't have to be something huge. It doesn't have to be this insurmountable mountain we can't climb to the top of. It's just a thought that creates a feeling. It's no different than the thoughts and feelings we've had since the day we were born. The only difference with these thoughts and these feelings are that we absolutely hate them. The key is to not hate them, to not love them, but to feel nothing for them and the cycle will be broken.
> 
> -ChrisPA


I always get that when i think,i think im over this but then no cause i think wait o yeah thats right i have a problem. What i hate is my dp always feels like it changes like i'll feel a certiaan way for a couple of weeks get use to it and then it seems to switch up out of nowhere and then i have to get use to that new feeling. And also when i get those new feelings i always think well mabey im getting better and cant notice it yet.


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## ChrisPA (Dec 22, 2009)

I am the same way. I'll feel completely comfortable for a few weeks, then out of nowhere it seems to effect me again. I really think that it's just the natural tendencies of our brains when we are in this condition to do that. It becomes so deeply ingrained in our thought processes that it can take something as simple as an image that we remember seeing during a bad DP/DR spurt to bring it back subconsciously. I guess it just took over a year of doing this to myself to fully understand what's going on, and that even when I get an uncomfortable DP/DR feeling or thought I am able to deal with it a little easier because I know how many times I have successfully done it before. Having neutrality towards it, like I talked about in my post has helped me a great deal. Eventually I think they will not return. I'd say your in the same shoes. We are getting better.


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