# Vision Distortion



## Timer

Hi there,

My vision is the worst part of my dr, I always have said if I didnt get these symptoms I would be able to get out and about and face things head on in the hope of getting better. These really hinder me in my progress for recovery and just wanted some more insight into it.

Visual Symptoms -

Shaky vision - Feels like I'm looking through a camcorder as I walk around and change direction of sight.

'Fizzy vision' - All one and the same really with the shake, I guess it feels like everything is slightly moving, but I know its not, static vision is I guess the best way of describing.

I have checked my eyes, they have always been like this - require glasses when reading, concentrating however went to Moorfields (eye specialist hospital in UK) and had varied tests, its nothing with my ACTUAL eyes.

I have always had the hunch that is has to do with my brain and signals passed? However its nothing I can be sure of.

No one can see any problems with my eyes, and I have tried to start getting out more, just doing some light jogging to get out the house, get some fresh air and hopefully get fit and kick anxiety but these eye problems hold me back a lot in doing things.

Do I have to just get on with this? Will it be with me forever now?
Does anyone else experience anything like this?
Has anyone recovered from these visual problems and at what point in the leadup to recovery?


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## Visual

Timer said:


> Hi there,
> 
> My vision is the worst part of my dr, I always have said if I didnt get these symptoms I would be able to get out and about and face things head on in the hope of getting better. These really hinder me in my progress for recovery and just wanted some more insight into it.
> 
> Visual Symptoms -
> 
> Shaky vision - Feels like I'm looking through a camcorder as I walk around and change direction of sight.
> 
> 'Fizzy vision' - All one and the same really with the shake, I guess it feels like everything is slightly moving, but I know its not, static vision is I guess the best way of describing.
> 
> I have checked my eyes, they have always been like this - require glasses when reading, concentrating however went to Moorfields (eye specialist hospital in UK) and had varied tests, its nothing with my ACTUAL eyes.
> 
> I have always had the hunch that is has to do with my brain and signals passed? However its nothing I can be sure of.
> 
> No one can see any problems with my eyes, and I have tried to start getting out more, just doing some light jogging to get out the house, get some fresh air and hopefully get fit and kick anxiety but these eye problems hold me back a lot in doing things.
> 
> Do I have to just get on with this? Will it be with me forever now?
> Does anyone else experience anything like this?
> Has anyone recovered from these visual problems and at what point in the leadup to recovery?


A lot of this stuff is recoverable. And yea, I've been dealing with a lot of visual crap (but 75% better now)

Since it has been about 8 months, what changes have you noticed during this time?

Have you tried any medications? And if so, what was the effect of each one?

Do you have 'tunnel' vision?

Is the pain around your eyes in the peripheral visual field?


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## Timer

Visual Dude said:


> A lot of this stuff is recoverable. And yea, I've been dealing with a lot of visual crap (but 75% better now)
> 
> Since it has been about 8 months, what changes have you noticed during this time?
> 
> Have you tried any medications? And if so, what was the effect of each one?
> 
> Do you have 'tunnel' vision?
> 
> Is the pain around your eyes in the peripheral visual field?


Hi - thanks for the reply,

Glad that it can be recoverable, its so subtle in a sense but always there.....I feel I lack confindence because of it, when speaking to people and your eyes are feeling as if they are shaking! etc.

In the 8 months or so, visual changes? Unfortunately they are the same, I focus less on it now than I did, but when I am outside and in sunlight it is particularly bad - the shaking / static and also my depth of field, this all adds to me feeling 'spacy' and out of it when outside.

I haven't tried any medications.....perhaps that is the next step? Maybe it will clear up the vision problems and as I said, I reckon I can tackle the rest (he says!)

I do not have tunnel vision - my peripheral vision is and has always been there, perhaps im not aware of it as much and also my recongising things / people is particularly bad....however I contribute that to dr in general.

Pain around my eyes has eased up over the 8 months, but it would usually have come when looking "hard to the left or right"

Any more comments would be appreciated!


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## Parachutes333

I have the staticy fuzzy vision as well and a lot of floaters. Its the most distressing. I am worried about my vision the most. It feels like the walls and objects appear to move, but I know its not. I get a lot of after images as well. And sometimes my vision seems to dim. Sort of darken and everything looks eerie and weird. Sort of when you dim the computer screen.... I guess its all the anxiety cause I have been worrying about it 24/7 for months now. Please help. If anyone can relate


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## Timer

Parachutes333 said:


> I have the staticy fuzzy vision as well and a lot of floaters. Its the most distressing. I am worried about my vision the most. It feels like the walls and objects appear to move, but I know its not. I get a lot of after images as well. And sometimes my vision seems to dim. Sort of darken and everything looks eerie and weird. Sort of when you dim the computer screen.... I guess its all the anxiety cause I have been worrying about it 24/7 for months now. Please help. If anyone can relate


Hey - I can definately relate, its the worst part of this all for me....its constant and noticable, hard to forget about dr and act distract yourself when everything you look at is effected....

I imagine that they will go as we begin to recover though so its just something to work through - thats why I wanted to know hopefully from someone who had recovered to see if this goes as well....the best way to tackle the vision issues....

Good luck


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## BusyBee

Totally get you. Ive got all the symptoms you describe and that is whats stopping me from recovery, however most of my other symptoms have lessened now.

Ive seen eye specialists and had a brain scan.. Ive also had a heart scan and a neck scan so check that there is enough oxygen getting to the brain, which was all fine- clearly nothing wrong with me.

I cant help much but I too sure hope it will go in time! Good luck


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## Timer

BusyBee said:


> Totally get you. Ive got all the symptoms you describe and that is whats stopping me from recovery, however most of my other symptoms have lessened now.
> 
> Ive seen eye specialists and had a brain scan.. Ive also had a heart scan and a neck scan so check that there is enough oxygen getting to the brain, which was all fine- clearly nothing wrong with me.
> 
> I cant help much but I too sure hope it will go in time! Good luck


Hey busybee - In one sense its good to hear that this is apart of the whole anxiety dp/dr cycle but obviously still makes it as hard as ever to get over. Keep me updated with how you get on and best of luck to you as well with it all!


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## staples

Yep visual disturbances has been my main culprit. You gave very good examples because that's exactly how I feel. I've seen a neurologist and had an EEG (check for epilepsy), everything was fine, have been to the eye doctor twice and everything was fine except for minor eye irritation from allergies, 20/20 vision.

I do suffer from tunnel vision for sure and I have to keep my eyes on the move and not "focus" on one object otherwise I'll keep noticing the symptoms and it will increase my anxiety even further.


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## Timer

staples said:


> I do suffer from tunnel vision for sure and I have to keep my eyes on the move and not "focus" on one object otherwise I'll keep noticing the symptoms and it will increase my anxiety even further.


Yep for sure, know what you mean there....I will be walking down the road and I will look at someone as I pass and have to look away as not to focus on them as it starts to get sketchy, however me looking away probably looks even more anxiety ridden. This is also why I have a problem with the underground, where do you look....If I look at someone sitting opposite for instance, I feel like Im staring, and with this shaky vision etc I find it very hard to just sit in the same spot and look at nothing....

Hope that made sense....


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## staples

It does... and visual disturbances isn't anything new on this forum. Unfortunately, it's never mentioned in any of the books on Depersonalization. I would assume this is more of a Derealization effect and in books, Derealization is only mentioned in a paragraph. Even though it's a manifestation to Depersonalization, it would be nice to see more symptoms (DR related) clarified in books and articles.


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## Visual

*visual disturbances isn't anything new on this forum. Unfortunately, it's never mentioned in any of the books on Depersonalization*

Dearmer* brings out an interesting point:

"_Also, this is interesting. The DSM IV, and the DSM 5 in progress, and The Merck Manual online NEVER describe visual problems with Depersonalization Disorder. I find that interesting. And now I need to refer back to Dr. Sierra's book to see what he described. I associate VISUAL trails/halos/static to HPPD. And I'd gather if I looked it up, those things would be included._" http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/22388-tracerstrailsghosting-getting-bad-at-times/page__st__65

*how to treat afterimages from light*

Not sure what you mean by afterimages. Do you mean like in this thread: http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/24277-heres-a-fun-one/page__p__210764__fromsearch__1#entry210764

At the time I did this test and maintained the afterimage for over 2 min, I had discontinued dopamine agonists for several weeks. Now, with taking them again, they are brief (like normal).


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## staples

Maybe, but it just doesn't add up. I mentioned this before; in books, Derealization is only mentioned in a paragraph or two because it's a manifestation to Depersonalization, but DR is associated with "seeing" the external world differently, where as DP is more-so internal (as we already know). I haven't done drugs in years and doubt my visual distortion is due to HPPD. Also, I've spoke to doctors in the past who are VERY familiar with DP / DR and they mentioned people having issues with their vision, some more pronounced then others. They also mentioned as the "fog" drops, vision gets better.

As always, take it with a grain of salt.


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## Aridity

staples said:


> Maybe, but it just doesn't add up. I mentioned this before; in books, Derealization is only mentioned in a paragraph or two because it's a manifestation to Depersonalization, but DR is associated with "seeing" the external world differently, where as DP is more-so internal (as we already know). I haven't done drugs in years and doubt my visual distortion is due to HPPD. Also, I've spoke to doctors in the past who are VERY familiar with DP / DR and they mentioned people having issues with their vision, some more pronounced then others. They also mentioned as the "fog" drops, vision gets better.
> 
> As always, take it with a grain of salt.


Yup,my vision is the worst of al this crap.


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## crystal13

Timer said:


> Hi there,
> 
> My vision is the worst part of my dr, I always have said if I didnt get these symptoms I would be able to get out and about and face things head on in the hope of getting better. These really hinder me in my progress for recovery and just wanted some more insight into it.
> 
> Visual Symptoms -
> 
> Shaky vision - Feels like I'm looking through a camcorder as I walk around and change direction of sight.
> 
> 'Fizzy vision' - All one and the same really with the shake, I guess it feels like everything is slightly moving, but I know its not, static vision is I guess the best way of describing.
> 
> I have checked my eyes, they have always been like this - require glasses when reading, concentrating however went to Moorfields (eye specialist hospital in UK) and had varied tests, its nothing with my ACTUAL eyes.
> 
> I have always had the hunch that is has to do with my brain and signals passed? However its nothing I can be sure of.
> 
> No one can see any problems with my eyes, and I have tried to start getting out more, just doing some light jogging to get out the house, get some fresh air and hopefully get fit and kick anxiety but these eye problems hold me back a lot in doing things.
> 
> Do I have to just get on with this? Will it be with me forever now?
> Does anyone else experience anything like this?
> Has anyone recovered from these visual problems and at what point in the leadup to recovery?


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## crystal13

Hi, I also recognize this vision thing, I experience it a bit different though. As it bothered me so much, I'm noticing that overtime I have numbed it more and more, oops..I don't know what's worse,having this weird eye experience as such, or numbing even that. I have had the feeling that I am looking with something different from my actual eye pupils, for years now. As if my eye nerves have trained themselves ( or have been trained) to build a screen in front of my vision.
Sounds weird yeah, but hey, so many of our experiences seem to sound weird...
Focusing my eyes , as focusing my thoughts, is impossible. I think in my case it is a cunning yet destructive way I once found out, of hiding what's going on inside me (as would also be visible in my eyes) for the outside world. When they can't look me in the eyes, they cannot see the terror, embarrassment and vulnerability in there either. 
Also it seems that my scope is a bit like that of an animal, like trying to cover both what's going on above me, in front and at both sides simultaneously.
I have always had good eyesight and now I have become shortsighted. I am pretty sure that this does not have to do with failure of eye function but with something else.

As for your experience, when you are having this hunch that it has to do with your brain, you can be pretty sure you are right.

Master of obsessive (and mostly useless) selfobservation as I have become, the question always keeps nagging: 'But WHY?' there is a reason for all this and the reason is not the same for everyone nor is the solution. In my case it probably has been an overload of issues I did not know how to resolve, as well as an overload of impressions & some life changes, a lot of fear, and a load of humiliation and abuse. Obviously behind that was yet something else, and behind that yet something else that I don't want to face, some childhood issues unresolved which I haven't figured out in all this mess, and the solution of it all seems to be ..whuh.. self-love. Try that , har har. This is my stoty in a nutshell- what I'm trying to say is, that maybe it makes sense to find out what makes one susceptible for this condition in the first place.
Our limitations are our stepping stones, as a shaman once said to me.


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## gardemarin

Hey guys, I've also just signed up.

In fact, I've got a "funny" issue with my vision and DP feeling...

I suffer from DP more than three years but now it's much better. But just after beginning (or maybe just before, I'm not sure) of DP/DR my vision become worse, from 100% to down to -1 D. Yeah, it was three years ago. Now I have to wear glasses... But this is exactly the point! You know how reality is "disturbed" by DP/DR and I feel additional disturbance from these f*ng glasses, cause I never had them! Feel much better without them, but can't drive and work... The optician told me that I should just get used to the glasses, but I can't. I've been wearing them for more than three months, but still experience much more fits of DP/DR then without glasses.


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## Visual

gardemarin said:


> Hey guys, I've also just signed up.
> 
> In fact, I've got a "funny" issue with my vision and DP feeling...
> 
> I suffer from DP more than three years but now it's much better. But just after beginning (or maybe just before, I'm not sure) of DP/DR my vision become worse, from 100% to down to -1 D. Yeah, it was three years ago. Now I have to wear glasses... But this is exactly the point! You know how reality is "disturbed" by DP/DR and I feel additional disturbance from these f*ng glasses, cause I never had them! Feel much better without them, but can't drive and work... The optician told me that I should just get used to the glasses, but I can't. I've been wearing them for more than three months, but still experience much more fits of DP/DR then without glasses.


Welcome to the forum.

Glasses do take time to get used to, but what you describe seems more extreme. Would you describe in more detail your visual symptoms?


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## gardemarin

Visual said:


> Welcome to the forum.
> 
> Glasses do take time to get used to, but what you describe seems more extreme. Would you describe in more detail your visual symptoms?


Well, I can try. 
When my DP just started, I was constantly experiencing a kind of "tunnel vision". Probably this term is incorrect, and the problem was in short-time memory or concentration , since it was very difficult to concentrate and I didn't notice anything around me and wasn't even sure if I see something just in front of me. Moreover, as I wrote above, my vision got worse almost simultaneously with DP manifestation and I was constantly trying to see small objects like captions and couldn't.

Now the effects of tunnel vision are much less intense. Generally speaking people with such a small near-sightedness (only -1 D on the better eye, and -2 on the second) usually live without glasses. I've got astigmatism, but it's also quite small. But I feel much discomfort, it looks like my brain still remembers those times when I could see good and doesn't want to get used to the new situation.

What do I feel now if I wear glasses? I feel it like the same tunnel vision, like I can't concentrate or see the things around. I've read that it's rather normal (there's even a section "Eyeglass users" in Wikipedia "tunnel vision" article). But I feel very stressed, like the worst symptoms of DP come back. I notice the frames and optical distortions on lens boundaries every second. Even if I forget about the glasses for a couple of minutes, I feel myself in a dream. Sometimes I get stuck to a small remote object like a human head on the other side of the room (yeah, it's especially difficult with people) and it captures all my attention, I can't see anything around and it looks just flat and unfamiliar.

It's much much better in contacts though. I can stuck to a small thing but less frequently. But I have some problems with contacts like allergy or something like this, I'm going to try contacts once more but I'm afraid of totally loosing my vision. Ok, it's a neurotic, irrational fear and it will probably go away if new lenses are good, but still I'm angry that many people can use glasses without much discomfort and I can't.


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## BusyBee

crystal13 said:


> Hi, I also recognize this vision thing, I experience it a bit different though. As it bothered me so much, I'm noticing that overtime I have numbed it more and more, oops..I don't know what's worse,having this weird eye experience as such, or numbing even that. I have had the feeling that I am looking with something different from my actual eye pupils, for years now. As if my eye nerves have trained themselves ( or have been trained) to build a screen in front of my vision.
> Sounds weird yeah, but hey, so many of our experiences seem to sound weird...
> Focusing my eyes , as focusing my thoughts, is impossible. I think in my case it is a cunning yet destructive way I once found out, of hiding what's going on inside me (as would also be visible in my eyes) for the outside world. When they can't look me in the eyes, they cannot see the terror, embarrassment and vulnerability in there either.
> Also it seems that my scope is a bit like that of an animal, like trying to cover both what's going on above me, in front and at both sides simultaneously.
> I have always had good eyesight and now I have become shortsighted.


Totally. My focus is appaling, I told the doctor that my eyesight had suddenly got worse when I got ill and she didnt belive me. She said, Young people are often short sighted, your eye sight is perfect' Grrr! So I trot along to the optition a few months later to find that my lense presription has changed (for the worse) for the first time in years. Whats more, reading text is nearly impossible. The other day I picked up some reading glassed and blow me down they helped! So I really have aged 40 years in two, and I dont just feel like it.

I'd just like to add that I find the visual symptoms the main problem. So amazing that they are not mentioned elsewhere, as I'm sure so many of you agree. I was DP'd for some time, but the DR is always what has made me wonder if I'll ever recover. Without the visuals I'm sure I'd pretty much be ok by now. Its like the world is in 2D.


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## mormie

I get this!! And I wear sunglasses to stop it all from happening. I think the color differs for everyone so just give it a go and try loads of different pairs







x


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## Angel_heaven

As the original question stated is this the last thing to go? Is this the clue to know you recovered?


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## m4xm4n

This is usually the last thing to go. I've recovered once before and it usually comes back gradually. Unfortunately two days ago, I was on my way to complete recovery from a second 'wave' of DPD and the symptoms all came back full-force. I'm not looking forward to dealing with all of this again, but knowing what I know from my past experiences and knowing that the vision will return to normal makes recovery much easier. Hang in there.


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## Visual

m4xm4n said:


> This is usually the last thing to go. I've recovered once before and it usually comes back gradually. Unfortunately two days ago, I was on my way to complete recovery from a second 'wave' of DPD and the symptoms all came back full-force. I'm not looking forward to dealing with all of this again, but knowing what I know from my past experiences and knowing that the vision will return to normal makes recovery much easier. Hang in there.


Any idea why it came back? Stress? Exposure to something?


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## m4xm4n

Visual said:


> Any idea why it came back? Stress? Exposure to something?


It was pretty hot, I was probably a little dehydrated (similar to the circumstances of the second 'wave') and I was also in a crowd.


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## christeltje

Until today i never knew that the visionstuff was part of the dp/dr. I always explained it to myself as. I live inside my mind allot and therefore i dont really
use my eyes. (like holding something in you hand, but not with a tight grip).
Whenever im having a bad day, and i am in my head allot with my thought and not so much with everythign around me, i have blurry vision, white spots that look like bacteria or something (which i love to watch), i sometime see things that arent there or ppl look different from what they look like. And sometimes my eyes start trembling.

I think that because i have not really used my eyes for soo long, i now need prismglasses, because my 2 eyes cant make 1 picture anymore.

I experience the same with all senses.


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## stussyqueen

Hi everyone.
I am very interested in others symptoms relating to visual/auditary.
I have strong after images, even when im not looking at anything, it is so weird.
Colours look weird to me. the grass is almost fluro. greens are the worst i think.
depth is all weird, everything looks sharp, things move when i know they are not.

I had a breakdown, and this is the outcome. It got worse i think after i started the antidepressants, but ive had DP DR since i was 17 when i had a bad dose of xtc, its just worsened since this breakdown, drasticly.


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## christeltje

stussyqueen said:


> Hi everyone.
> I am very interested in others symptoms relating to visual/auditary.
> I have strong after images, even when im not looking at anything, it is so weird.
> Colours look weird to me. the grass is almost fluro. greens are the worst i think.
> depth is all weird, everything looks sharp, things move when i know they are not.
> 
> I had a breakdown, and this is the outcome. It got worse i think after i started the antidepressants, but ive had DP DR since i was 17 when i had a bad dose of xtc, its just worsened since this breakdown, drasticly.


I have dp/dr since is was verry young, so allot of symptoms i dont know that they are symptoms or just normal. I dont have after images, i think. Sometimes images stick in my head for a while but i dont see a problem in that, i just need more time to process them. But when im feeling bad i dream during the day. I see dreamlike things, like last week i kept seeing a dancer on a street, when i know that im awake. I also see things moving but that is i think because my eye problem. My eyes cant make 1 picture so if i switch between eye unconciously things move. And sometimes the sunlight hurts really bad, and the colors and everything what i see.

But what i think is the most enoying, half the time i dont see details and i make a picture of what is see. So allot of the things that i thing i saw are wrong. And they dont look like how i think they look like.

The hearing is much worse. Just all of a sudden the volume goes up to extreme loud or i stop hearing altogether. I have a beep in my ears, and i hear a weird sound in de back of my neck. Sometimes i cannot stand loud noices at all. Its hurts my body too much. What i also have is that the sound of ppl eating physically hurts me.

I have almost the same with touch, sometimes it realy hurts when ppl touch me, and other times i dont feel a thing.


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## hennessy

can u explain the "vision distortion" to me exactly with all the details so I can see if that's what I get from time to time too?


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## sunnydelight1499

i can't believe that I'm not the only one... i started having symptoms like this since the summer, which was just a few months ago. I didnt understand why and thought i was really going crazy. ive nvr hallucinated in my life but i thot that thts wat was happening to me. I dont know why it started occuring though. i just recently discovered this disorder and am convinced that its the answer to why i feel the way i do. i experienced shaking, usually it was shaking of the walls and floor. also there were times were it seemed like the walls were moving, like it wasnt just shaking, it was more fluid. i cant really describe it too well. althought this has happened only four or five times so far i think, im glad i know why and i hope it doesnt get worse.


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## dazen

Timer said:


> Hi there,
> 
> My vision is the worst part of my dr, I always have said if I didnt get these symptoms I would be able to get out and about and face things head on in the hope of getting better. These really hinder me in my progress for recovery and just wanted some more insight into it.
> 
> Visual Symptoms -
> 
> Shaky vision - Feels like I'm looking through a camcorder as I walk around and change direction of sight.
> 
> 'Fizzy vision' - All one and the same really with the shake, I guess it feels like everything is slightly moving, but I know its not, static vision is I guess the best way of describing.
> 
> I have checked my eyes, they have always been like this - require glasses when reading, concentrating however went to Moorfields (eye specialist hospital in UK) and had varied tests, its nothing with my ACTUAL eyes.
> 
> I have always had the hunch that is has to do with my brain and signals passed? However its nothing I can be sure of.
> 
> No one can see any problems with my eyes, and I have tried to start getting out more, just doing some light jogging to get out the house, get some fresh air and hopefully get fit and kick anxiety but these eye problems hold me back a lot in doing things.
> 
> Do I have to just get on with this? Will it be with me forever now?
> Does anyone else experience anything like this?
> Has anyone recovered from these visual problems and at what point in the leadup to recovery?


 i get both the shaky and the fuzzy vision. and like you, i believe if i didn't have these symptoms i too would be able to face my DR and my anxiety head on. i have pretty bad dizziness as well, although i'm not quite sure if it's directly related to my vision distortion or not. i feel like i'm walking around drunk, but not drunk. like i can see the molecules moving for everything i'm looking at, like some stuff is off...almost like my depth perception isn't properly working. i feel like i'm stumbling even though i'm told i walk normally....


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## nearlyrecovered

Timer said:


> Hi there,
> 
> My vision is the worst part of my dr, I always have said if I didnt get these symptoms I would be able to get out and about and face things head on in the hope of getting better. These really hinder me in my progress for recovery and just wanted some more insight into it.
> 
> Visual Symptoms -
> 
> Shaky vision - Feels like I'm looking through a camcorder as I walk around and change direction of sight.
> 
> 'Fizzy vision' - All one and the same really with the shake, I guess it feels like everything is slightly moving, but I know its not, static vision is I guess the best way of describing.
> 
> I have checked my eyes, they have always been like this - require glasses when reading, concentrating however went to Moorfields (eye specialist hospital in UK) and had varied tests, its nothing with my ACTUAL eyes.
> 
> I have always had the hunch that is has to do with my brain and signals passed? However its nothing I can be sure of.
> 
> No one can see any problems with my eyes, and I have tried to start getting out more, just doing some light jogging to get out the house, get some fresh air and hopefully get fit and kick anxiety but these eye problems hold me back a lot in doing things.
> 
> Do I have to just get on with this? Will it be with me forever now?
> Does anyone else experience anything like this?
> Has anyone recovered from these visual problems and at what point in the leadup to recovery?


That's exactly what I've had these past two weeks before my DP left for good, but it got worse before it got better.


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