# I'm new to this..



## tatianna (May 24, 2015)

Hi, everyone.

I'm 18 and I recently found out 2 weeks ago that I have been getting symptoms of DpD. When I first felt the symptoms I just thought oh this is just an affect of weed, and I hated it. I quit smoking weed, and I began to realise that even though I wasn't getting high I still felt these affects. I thought maybe there was still some THC in my system or something, I don't know, I didn't understand what was happening to me.

One day I decided to tell my boyfriend how I was feeling.

I said :

- My hands and feet feel numb

- I feel clumsy, like I'm gonna drop something

- I can't control my body

- My mind feels fuzzy

So he went on the internet and searched my symptoms and DpD popped up. I then searched it myself and as I was reading the symptoms and I watched vlogs of people who have this disorder, I just felt like that was me. That's how I'm feeling, all of that, exactly that. And it scared me, but it was a relief to see that I wasn't going crazy.

I later told my mom about this and she didn't understand me until I showed her a video of someone else explaining it, she then decided it's best for me to go see a doctor. I have a doctors appointment this week, but I don't know how to explain what's going on. I live in Bangkok, Thailand. I've never heard of this here, so I'm worried the doctor will actually think I'm crazy and bullshitting.

The reason why I came on to this site is because I felt so alone, I don't know anyone else who is going through this and I just need support from someone who knows how to handle it. I don't know what to do with myself, I've tried keeping myself busy, by watching series constantly and singing and so on. But then this feeling just sneaks it's way in and takes over my body. Earlier I was washing the dishes, and my hands went numb. I couldn't feel the hot water, I couldn't feel the knives poking me, I couldn't feel anything. I continued of course, thinking I'll be okay. But now I have swollen knuckles, and my hands are bright red. I still can't feel it. I'm afraid somethings going to happen to me, and I won't feel it. Will this feeling last forever? Will this disorder just fade? How do I deal with this?


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## NoFluxes (Oct 26, 2014)

DP does fade, but only if you believe it will, there isn't one simple key to recovery... Mine was induced by a horrible trauma, it wasn't until I was finally rid of depression that I started to see major improvements. DP feeds off of anxiety and depression, I understand how awful the symptoms can be, I used to feel nothing but emptiness, like I didn't even exist at many times.You will have to live life like you normally would, and start to love yourself for who you are, remember that you haven't changed at all, it's only your perception of things.

I've had this disorder for an entire year now almost and I can tell you it does get better, but you will have to be very willing and open-minded for recovery. It's also something that doesn't just go away in an instant, you'll get used to a point where the symptoms no longer bother you and it eventually subsides.

Smart choice on quitting weed, it is one of the riskiest drugs to mess with during DP, it really is like playing with fire, just remember that a clean day is a successful day.

Find good support, people who believe in you and your recovery, and if you're dealing with any depression or anxiety, then it must be dealt with first. You can and you will recover, I'm living proof.


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## Alan (Jan 26, 2015)

The fact that you're seeing a doctor is an excellent first step towards recovery.

I'm not a health professional and therefore can't definitively diagnose you, but be aware that many health professionals aren't aware of this disorder, and need to be educated with regards to what it is.


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## tatianna (May 24, 2015)

Thank you both for advising me on this, it means a lot.


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