# Wow.. I totally smoked weed last night.



## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

So me and my friend were drinking last night.
Randomly decided that I wanted to smoke some weed.
So me, my friend, and her dad lit up, smoked two (and a half) joints.
I was AMAZING after smoking the one and a half joints, but I was stupid enough to say I wanted to smoke more to see if I could reach my limit.
Then I started tripping out like the time I did when I got dpd after the next joint.
So, uh.
I think I can smoke weed :|
I just have to know what my limit is.
I don't really feel differently today. Dp hasn't really worsenned.. Anxiety is still under control.
blahblahblah.

Weird, huh?
Comments? Input?
I'm so confused.


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

i mean i dont see why it isn't possible to still smoke weed. i have smoked a few times its not going to mess you up any more i just get paranoid when i smoke so i don't do it anymore.


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## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

I figured it would just make me worse since everyone is like "NOO. Don't do it, you'll just get worse" blabla.


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

dude its ok occasionally i geuss.. just dont buy it. I find when you buy it you smoke yourself stupid.
like biggie said " never smoke your own stash".. i have been clean for 4 months and lost friends in the process because all we used to do was smoke weed. now they are never around cause i dont smoke so its like i dont fit in. I'm seriously contemplating going back to weed occasionally just so i can have my friends back.. i dunno.. im very confused and pretty depressed right now abou the situation.


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## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

I'm going through the same thing. I've lost almost all of my friends because I didn't smoke weed. 
Goes to show how many real friends I had :|
I hope everything works out for you soon though, and feel better.


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

yah its funny how your "friends" choose drugs over friendship. Even if the friendship has been there for 15 years longer.
whatever tho im not going to put myself down and start smoking weed again just to fit in. If they are really your friends they will come back to you or work around it. And if they dont then the friendship isnt worth it. Im just going to do whats best for me.. with DP/DR im going to say that smoking weed is definitely not the best idea. and i speak from lots of experience. It was just the friend thing that was really getting at me. But now i know its clear i have to look out for myself and things will end up better.
Hopefully you can do the same buddy. cheers hope you feel better soon to. feel free to add me on msn if you want to chat more.


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

i'm glad you figured it out jordan. have a good day


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## jaynon (Oct 12, 2009)

Optimusrhyme said:


> yah its funny how your "friends" choose drugs over friendship. Even if the friendship has been there for 15 years longer.
> whatever tho im not going to put myself down and start smoking weed again just to fit in. If they are really your friends they will come back to you or work around it. And if they dont then the friendship isnt worth it. Im just going to do whats best for me.. with DP/DR im going to say that smoking weed is definitely not the best idea. and i speak from lots of experience. It was just the friend thing that was really getting at me. But now i know its clear i have to look out for myself and things will end up better.
> Hopefully you can do the same buddy. cheers hope you feel better soon to. feel free to add me on msn if you want to chat more.


you have the right idea man. my first 4 months or so of dealing with dp/dr, i was fighting the battle of choosing weed or my friends. i smoked weed pretty heavily through that time period and it only made things worse for me. i realized my own personal happiness is more important than anything...friends, drugs, girls, alcohol, the feeling of being intoxicated...anything. now, i talk to maybe 25% of the people i used to hang out with on a daily basis, buts its good knowing i am doing something for myself other than putting unnecessary crap in my lungs. as soon as i cut back on weed i noticed a monumental relief in my dp/dr and ive never looked back. you're on the right track man, keep looking up and stay away from the herb. its called the devils lettuce for a reason! :lol:


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

Smoking weed is a psychological thing, it depends on what your state of mind before smoking is and the kind of environment or atmosphere you're in. Just like any other _psychoactive_ drug it puts you into different states of thought or consciousness that could greatly differ from what you're used to experiencing. That's why some people can't smoke weed and others can, people assume it's just a feel good drug but neglect the fact that it has an effect on the conscious mind. Some peoples mindsets are just not in tune with the weed. That's why you have to ease on into it's use slowly with smaller doses and not smoke more than minimal amounts. People just don't know how much should be smoked their first times when their tolerances are low and so they end up taking more than what they can handle. Which then can create these uncomfortable experiences that put the mind into a state of chaos which leads the user to fear going crazy or dying and that in itself causes a reaction like a panic attack *fight or flight* *response* to *our mind* and not something outside of it which THEN creates DP/DR as we know it.

On the other hand smokers who are understanding of marijuana can use it effectively and not trip out, just enjoy what the ganja has to teach them. When you're not fighting the experience before and during the start of the effects then you're more likely to have an enjoyable that can help you relax at the end of the day. It's how you can deal with the experience psychologically and that really all depends on your self concepts, external concepts, previous experiences and underlying mental issues that contribute to your present state of mind that you aren't consciously aware of.. The meanings around you come from that stand point or point of awareness in your mind and that point of awareness ranges depending on what you're feeling. Example anger on the inside gives rise to angry thoughts and perceptions outside of yourself. Sad feelings lead to sad thoughts and perceptions on the outside. There is a connection between feelings and thoughts, what they mean to us and their relation outside of us. So if you're nervous, anxious and/or are having obsessive negative thoughts on the inside marijuana could very well expose your inner self in a way that works against you. That's why it's important to keep positive energy.


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## jaynon (Oct 12, 2009)

backagain said:


> Smoking weed is a psychological thing, it depends on what your state of mind before smoking is and the kind of environment or atmosphere you're in. Just like any other _psychoactive_ drug it puts you into different states of thought or consciousness that could greatly differ from what you're used to experiencing. That's why some people can't smoke weed and others can, people assume it's just a feel good drug but neglect the fact that it has an effect on the conscious mind. Some peoples mindsets are just not in tune with the weed. That's why you have to ease on into it's use slowly with smaller doses and not smoke more than minimal amounts. People just don't know how much should be smoked their first times when their tolerances are low and so they end up taking more than what they can handle. Which then can create these uncomfortable experiences that put the mind into a state of chaos which leads the user to fear going crazy or dying and that in itself causes a reaction like a panic attack *fight or flight* *response* to *our mind* and not something outside of it which THEN creates DP/DR as we know it.
> 
> On the other hand smokers who are understanding of marijuana can use it effectively and not trip out, just enjoy what the ganja has to teach them. When you're not fighting the experience before and during the start of the effects then you're more likely to have an enjoyable that can help you relax at the end of the day. It's how you can deal with the experience psychologically and that really all depends on your self concepts, external concepts, previous experiences and underlying mental issues that contribute to your present state of mind that you aren't consciously aware of.. The meanings around you come from that stand point or point of awareness in your mind and that point of awareness ranges depending on what you're feeling. Example anger on the inside gives rise to angry thoughts and perceptions outside of yourself. Sad feelings lead to sad thoughts and perceptions on the outside. There is a connection between feelings and thoughts, what they mean to us and their relation outside of us. So if you're nervous, anxious and/or are having obsessive negative thoughts on the inside marijuana could very well expose your inner self in a way that works against you. That's why it's important to keep positive energy.


i disagree, i think when your brain is low in serotonin and already has too much dopamine, weed has a different effect...and its not a good one


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

yeh ive got to be ohnest, I used to smoke weed all the time and i loved it. I never once had a bad trip. It made me feel great. Then I just woke up one day with an altered sense of self/perception and its the most horrific thing I think anyone could experience along with things like blindness/cancer etc etc. I want to just scoop my brain out. Id LOVE to be able to smoke weed again, but i never will. For me logic dictates that something chemically has happened inside my head, its not psychological because nothing bad happened to me. The worst thing is the only treatment im being offered is CBT which i just dont see helping me at all. I hate weed and love it at the same time. Apparently its being leaglaized in california, which is just confusing me even more. Does anybody take valium? I had some a while back and it was awesome, like how i used to feel. also some morphene I had when i was in hospital made me feel great as well.

What do you do though? I cant go on in such a chronic state of panic/shit etc but the only thing i can see as a treatment plan is too get high on valium everyday. Its so annoying as well when doctors ignore what im saying to them about the cannabis, and they tell me I have some deep feelings that i just need to explore and overcome.


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## edward_morden (Oct 12, 2009)

But I heard you get addicted very fast to valium and like every week you have to take more of it to feel good or even just to stop withdrawal symptoms.
Besides the withdrawal alone is said to be soo bad and frightening that its not worth it. Like all the fear and all the bad symptoms you didnt experience during your on-valium time breaks on you like a gigantic waves. 
I read a story about a guy who even got severe horror hallucinations from it during the withdrawal oO

At least I am very scared of this stuff.


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## Guest (Oct 14, 2009)

I really hope you are not on psychoactive drugs while doing all of this. It can cause psychosis. I have been through psychosis without any drugs so don't push your limits my friend. Take it slow.

P.S. I have an almost 6 month old at home so that is the mommy side of me talking.


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## Zee Deveel (Aug 3, 2009)

Realiity said:


> I figured it would just make me worse since everyone is like "NOO. Don't do it, you'll just get worse" blabla.


It might not make you noticably worse but it definitely isn't going to help. I'm sure you want with every inch of your being to get over this, so why risk doing something that may hold you back?


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## Foolishgoiter (Mar 24, 2009)

Iv been weed sober since the middle of may 09. I am still undecided if it worsens dp or not. When i was high i wasnt depressed or stressed. The high gave me a reason for feeling fucked up, like na dont worry about your fucked up thoughts or the fact you cant recognize your self in a mirrior its just the dope. But after my high subsides i always feel more dped than before i was high. So i smoke more weed feel normal and good and when i come out of the high its even worse. But i want to get high again to see how its going to affect me? any thoughts


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

Foolishgoiter said:


> Iv been weed sober since the middle of may 09. I am still undecided if it worsens dp or not. When i was high i wasnt depressed or stressed. The high gave me a reason for feeling flower* up, like na dont worry about your flower* up thoughts or the fact you cant recognize your self in a mirrior its just the dope. But after my high subsides i always feel more dped than before i was high. So i smoke more weed feel normal and good and when i come out of the high its even worse. But i want to get high again to see how its going to affect me? any thoughts


hey man im in the same situation as you.. ive been sober for 4 months and a little bit. i know i stated early in this thread i wasnt going to smoke.. but every thing is just so boring lately.. i get so bored without weed. its just a nice thing to do every once and a while to wind down and let your mind wonder off its like it lifts a weight off your mind and i usually feel better after if i have a good high because my mind was so relaxed for so long.. Im wondering if i should go back to smoking temporarily.. like a cuple times a week.. but i dont know.... i dont know what to do.. should i throw away 4 months of no weed? I meen i think i gained the knowledge in those 4 months that i have the mental disicpline to quit weed again if i ever have too because i went from being high 24/7 to quitting weed cold turkey and did it without a problem.. How do you feel about throwing those 6 months that you have been clean? Is it worth the test to see if weed can be controlled if we go back on it? Be\ause I love weed so much... bah i want a friggan bong toke so bad right now. eerrrrrrrrr.. i dont know what do to man.. any thoughts?


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

> hey man im in the same situation as you.. ive been sober for 4 months and a little bit. i know i stated early in this thread i wasnt going to smoke.. but every thing is just so boring lately.. i get so bored without weed. its just a nice thing to do every once and a while to wind down and let your mind wonder off its like it lifts a weight off your mind and i usually feel better after if i have a good high because my mind was so relaxed for so long.. Im wondering if i should go back to smoking temporarily.. like a cuple times a week.. but i dont know.... i dont know what to do.. should i throw away 4 months of no weed? I meen i think i gained the knowledge in those 4 months that i have the mental disicpline to quit weed again if i ever have too because i went from being high 24/7 to quitting weed cold turkey and did it without a problem.. How do you feel about throwing those 6 months that you have been clean? Is it worth the test to see if weed can be controlled if we go back on it? Be\ause I love weed so much... bah i want a friggan bong toke so bad right now. eerrrrrrrrr.. i dont know what do to man.. any thoughts?


hahaa man i know what you mean...

If it really helps you and it really does make you feel better then I don't see why not ... I mean as long as you can handle it and you don't trip yourself out. I've been smoking for the last year and a half pretty much on a daily basis. Of course I cut down dramatically from my peak when I was smoking like 10 blunts a day. I mean it really helps to put things in perspective if you allow it to. After 4 months I imagine your tolerance has dramatically lowered. I would be careful starting up too strong, If you're gonna do it then test the waters with just a little at first then gradually work your way back up. I know this ain't the best advice for someone with dp/dr but people are gonna do what they wanna do regardless. I do it cuz it helps me just chill and just reflect on things that I can't do in such a beta brainwave sober mind where I'm caught up in insignificant things.

Just be wise with whatever you're doing man


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

double posst


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

backagain said:


> > hey man im in the same situation as you.. ive been sober for 4 months and a little bit. i know i stated early in this thread i wasnt going to smoke.. but every thing is just so boring lately.. i get so bored without weed. its just a nice thing to do every once and a while to wind down and let your mind wonder off its like it lifts a weight off your mind and i usually feel better after if i have a good high because my mind was so relaxed for so long.. Im wondering if i should go back to smoking temporarily.. like a cuple times a week.. but i dont know.... i dont know what to do.. should i throw away 4 months of no weed? I meen i think i gained the knowledge in those 4 months that i have the mental disicpline to quit weed again if i ever have too because i went from being high 24/7 to quitting weed cold turkey and did it without a problem.. How do you feel about throwing those 6 months that you have been clean? Is it worth the test to see if weed can be controlled if we go back on it? Be\ause I love weed so much... bah i want a friggan bong toke so bad right now. eerrrrrrrrr.. i dont know what do to man.. any thoughts?
> 
> 
> hahaa man i know what you mean...
> ...


ahh yes i remember the ten blunt days haha.. greeeeat times.
im just curious how long have you had dp/dr and did you get it from smoking pot? 
I agree smoking is really a release for your mind.. its like when you restart your computer and everything is refreshed and runs smoother after.
I'm just scared that if i started smoking and i would probably only smoke about a gram a week, that i would have constant cravings to be high all the time.. im not sure if that would happen or not?


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## Oggy1 (Oct 1, 2009)

This is more the reason I hate this illness.. because I'm in the same boat as assholes like you who got it because they smoke weed


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

wow pal, you know nothing about what personal problems i have or anything else in my life for that matter.
I didnt just get dp/dr because my life was fine and dandy and I smoked a joint. I had many serious issues leading up to it and still have most of them.
so how bout you go and fuck yourself you ignorant little punk.


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

Optimusrhyme said:


> backagain said:
> 
> 
> > > hey man im in the same situation as you.. ive been sober for 4 months and a little bit. i know i stated early in this thread i wasnt going to smoke.. but every thing is just so boring lately.. i get so bored without weed. its just a nice thing to do every once and a while to wind down and let your mind wonder off its like it lifts a weight off your mind and i usually feel better after if i have a good high because my mind was so relaxed for so long.. Im wondering if i should go back to smoking temporarily.. like a cuple times a week.. but i dont know.... i dont know what to do.. should i throw away 4 months of no weed? I meen i think i gained the knowledge in those 4 months that i have the mental disicpline to quit weed again if i ever have too because i went from being high 24/7 to quitting weed cold turkey and did it without a problem.. How do you feel about throwing those 6 months that you have been clean? Is it worth the test to see if weed can be controlled if we go back on it? Be\ause I love weed so much... bah i want a friggan bong toke so bad right now. eerrrrrrrrr.. i dont know what do to man.. any thoughts?
> ...


Yea my bad I forgot to check this thread again

uH I've had dp/dr for what will be 6 years in January and i've gotten from smoking pot and just panic attacks by themselves but initially pot (i think) can't remember short term memory was fried when i got it

I'm not sure man maybe you will get psychologically addicted to the high you can't even predict it really cuz you might just feel it and be like i need to blaze right now and u'll just do it. But uhh i usually am able to control it, I used to be just constantly smokin with no breaks but then it just burned me out haaard. Yea it takes strong discipline to maintain the gravy train. But uhh i dunno maybe you can


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## DownTheRabbitHole (May 30, 2009)

i smoke daily, like a few joints a day,everyday.
i really should stop, but i have nothing i fill the void with, and it doesnt seem to be adversely affecting me too much in terms of dp/dr.
sometimes if i get anxious whilst smoking, i can end up in a bad state of dissociation, and im all like ''wtf is going on!?!?''

but when it wears off, i usually feel a bit groggy, but after a while/go to sleep it returns back to the normal state of whatever i normally feel.

a bit like

''this isnt the way i want to feel things, but this is how i do feel things, i know its all real obviously, although it should feel more real, and i shouldnt have to question it like im doing now,but thats who i am now, if i am anyone, i have so many traits that i adapt in situations, that i dont know who i am, im not a character, im many characters, i have a charcter for that friend, and that friend, and a character when yous are together, i have a character for you, stranger. I have my home personality, i have my work personality, i have soo many different ways of interacting, its impossible for me to feel grounded, i wake up and i sometimes im glad to me, and sometimes i wake up and i wish i was somebody else. my voice inside doesnt come out-its not able to interact with the world, its been too sheltered, this is the back up''


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