# Going Mad.



## sadpenguin (Jan 5, 2015)

As I was beginning to start to feel myself again, to reconnect with my surroundings and find my self worth, my abusers traumatize, kick me out, abuse and shit on me (figuratively). I am now homeless and going mad. I'm tired, and overwhelmed. My legs no longer want to keep moving forward, and my mind is telling me to just quit. I want out.

Dying is easy, but living is the hard part. I hear this phrase alot, but to me, going against all of your natural instincts to survive and end up having to kill yourself sounds pretty damn hard. And I would never disrespect the lives of all the people that have left this world through suicide and say that "they took the easy way out". Because tying a rope around your neck and going though such severe pain to end the mental misery sounds pretty fucking hard. I'm not trying to justify me planning on killing myself, I'm just confused. I need serious help and support, or I don't even know anymore. I need my own place, where I feel safe, but I have no money. I'm still so young, I just don't understand.


----------



## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Sorry to hear that. I've been in rough situations like this too, many times. For me the solution was to always think super short term. Life has a way of straightening itself out over the long haul, so all you really have to do is focus on your immediate needs. Food, water, shelter. So I would say try to forget the big picture for now and see if there's anyone you can call to help you out, even if it's in a really small way. Either way, hang in there. I'm not religious or even that spiritual but I do feel there's some type of benefit or reward for getting through all this.


----------



## sadpenguin (Jan 5, 2015)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> Did you manage to find somewhere to crash last night? How are things looking today?


Thanks for checking on me, I went in and out of homelessness and couch surfed for a while, I still kind of am, but hopefully soon I will be able to find a real place to call home.


----------

