# Teenager with Dp/Dr



## msmelissa

I am a mother of a 16 year son who was recently diagnosed with this disorder. I have been to every specialist and had him poked and scanned from head to toe. I have been fighting with the schools and doctors to rescue my child from this disorder. They have played guinea pig with meds to no avail. He is a 4.0 student and is struggling to maintain some semblance of normalcy. The constant anxiety he suffers is debilitating. He also has had some instances of fainting when getting up too quick. The neurologist has no thought how these two things could be linked. He also suffers from 24 hour snow vision. Through the tests he has been ruled out that nothing biological is wrong. He has tested in the superior range for intelligence and this was probably brought on by being so bored in school even though I have been fighting for harder work for him since 6th grade. We moved from Ca where he was in GATE, but this district did not offer any sort of accelerated work. He began Kindergarten at age 4 and everyone's answer was to move him up. but due to his age I wanted him to be near his peers age for social interaction. Well, even though I fought every year with principals. teachers, etc., I warned them he would check out if not pushed. Well, now that has happened! I am every day having to watch this great child slip further away and I am looking for guidance, specialists who know extensively about this condition. I even attended school for a whole day to witness what was going on in his school by choice, to see if I could identify causes. I am having another roundtable for a 504 plan for this trimester and the battling will continue until someone realizes that there needs to be help for higher achievers also. If anyone has names of any specialists or sites that would be helpful, it would be appreciated.


----------



## insaticiable

msmelissa said:


> I am a mother of a 16 year son who was recently diagnosed with this disorder. I have been to every specialist and had him poked and scanned from head to toe. I have been fighting with the schools and doctors to rescue my child from this disorder. They have played guinea pig with meds to no avail. He is a 4.0 student and is struggling to maintain some semblance of normalcy. The constant anxiety he suffers is debilitating. He also has had some instances of fainting when getting up too quick. The neurologist has no thought how these two things could be linked. He also suffers from 24 hour snow vision. Through the tests he has been ruled out that nothing biological is wrong. He has tested in the superior range for intelligence and this was probably brought on by being so bored in school even though I have been fighting for harder work for him since 6th grade. We moved from Ca where he was in GATE, but this district did not offer any sort of accelerated work. He began Kindergarten at age 4 and everyone's answer was to move him up. but due to his age I wanted him to be near his peers age for social interaction. Well, even though I fought every year with principals. teachers, etc., I warned them he would check out if not pushed. Well, now that has happened! I am every day having to watch this great child slip further away and I am looking for guidance, specialists who know extensively about this condition. I even attended school for a whole day to witness what was going on in his school by choice, to see if I could identify causes. I am having another roundtable for a 504 plan for this trimester and the battling will continue until someone realizes that there needs to be help for higher achievers also. If anyone has names of any specialists or sites that would be helpful, it would be appreciated.


There is one brain scan out there right now which will definitely show up Depersonalization & Derealization and it is called an fMRI. It is a functional MRI, different than just a standard MRI. I would recommend that your son get an fMRI done, and if anything shows up, then you can finally have proof that there is indeed a medical condition going on with him. Best of luck to you. It sounds like you are a very caring and devoted mother.


----------



## msmelissa

Thanx for the response. We have done an MRA, MRI, several EEG's, scans, electrodes etc. does the neurologist do the fMRI? He was given a DP diagnosis through the neurologist psychologist, following a 5 hour testing day. If the scan is positive, is there any specific meds that have calmed this condition? I have him seeing a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist. Part of the problem is finding a psychologist that is very familiar with the condition and that he is comfortable with. Thankfully, my son will discuss anything with me, but I would love to see him return! Again thanx!


----------



## Guest013

Depersonalization will also show up on a PET scan.

I am going to give you my two cents on what you should do (just my opinion, don't hate on me everyone). I would recommend to wean him off of the meds. A teenager is going through a million horomonal changes as it is, and odds are the meds are going to make him worse than better. He might recover just through the horomonal changes in his body as he grows up (you never know). It's important for people suffering with DP/DR not to focus and obsess over their disorder. Constantly taking medication and allowing him to think he is "different" is not going to help. I suffered from DP/DR for around 8 months and eventually recovered. The keys to my recover were exercising, socializing, and eating healthy. It can be very difficult for kids to socialize and have friends in high school, so I would recommend enrolling your son in a sport that will allow him to exercise and be part of a team. Majority of DP suffers are extremely intelligent, self reflective, and have a tendency to "over think" things. I suffered while I was in college (Ivy League). It's difficult to force yourself to stay motivated, but it really is mind over matter. Since your son is in high school, you need to help him stay motivated and interested in his studies. People with DP/DR often do well with concrete results and struggle with abstract reasoning; therefore, you should offer your son concrete results (or rewards) for good performance. You need to stay on top of him and make sure he studies, exercises, and socializes. Hope that helps! Like I said... just my two cents.


----------



## Guest013

Also just wanted to mention that I too suffered from snow vision and passing out when getting up quickly (only happened twice, but I broke my collar bone once).


----------



## msmelissa

Guest013 said:


> Also just wanted to mention that I too suffered from snow vision and passing out when getting up quickly (only happened twice, but I broke my collar bone once).


Thanx.. I will check on the pet scan and he is off all meds except for clonazepam for anxiety as needed. I have to really stay on him to get through each day and talk him down through his anxiety during the day I am trying to educate the school official on what the disorder is and if all of us can find a way to help him succeed and feel good about himself. He is the oldest of three boys all 5 1/2 years apart and it has been a struggle to try to keep some normalcy in this house. I completely agree about the teenage years and all of the hormones and have expressed these concerns with my son. If I can just get him to feel assured that all his doctors and educators and myself are here for him and he is safe I think he will eventually, and hopefully beat this thing. Thank god, I have sacrificed my career to be there for my kids, because otherwise I do not know how I would handle this.


----------



## Rock Rose

The first thing that made me want to comment is what you wrote about your choice not to move him up and keep him with his age group. I was moved up a grade and it did me a world of bad. I'm inclined to think that it played a part in the problems and situation in life at the moment.

I don't have much information about the neurological aspects of DP, but maybe I can give you some advice from my experience.

Playing an instrument. For me it's the didgeridoo and the guitar, but I it could be anything. It lets me immerse myself in sound directly linked to my body and emotions. It has been a great help for me, and it might help your son. It also gives a sense of progress and achievement.
Writing down thought, anxieties and all those things that keep on going back and forth in the mind. It clears the mind, at least for a while, and helps to get a sense of continuity, time and personality. 
Not making the disorder the only thing about himself. Not linking everything to the disorder. Commenting about things regardless, normal, day-to-day things, establishing a sense of normal life, not just life under the shadow of DP.

And one last thing, and there is no blame here, I know you want the best for your son. I recognize some parts in your post from my parent's attitude towards me, especially what you said about it stemming from being bored at school (My family maintains that there is nothing wrong with me other than being intelligent and bored with the stimulation around me)
I'm quoting from a book someone has brought in this forum. It is only a theory, it applies to me, and I hope you will consider it:

"Paul Schilder, in a well-known paper on the
treatment of depersonalization, stated: "I am inclined to stress the fact that the
patient with depersonalization has been admired very much by the parents
for his intellectual and physical gifts..."
...
Schilder goes on to say that the parental attitude of considering the
child a "showpiece" rather than a complete human being eventually results
in deep dissatisfaction. Initial self-adulation, stemming from an identification
with parental attitudes, will ultimately be followed by emotional emptiness,
even though intellect remains intact and the person may appear quite normal"

from "Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self" by Daphne Simeon, Jeffrey Abugel p.58 -59


----------



## savana

kind of sounds like me, im 13 years old and have the same stuff going on as your son.
Im a 4.0 student, and in GATE, but struggling to keep a C average. Dp makes it incredibly difficult to study, read, or for that matter even sit through classes. You have to get your son in some serious therapy, and get to the source of his dp. Mines from smoking weed, maybe his is too. I dont know, he is a wonderful future ahead of him, this is just a stump in the road, he will get through this. Hes very very lucky to have a mother trying to cure him. My mother thinks im a phyco for telling her whats going on, but hey its hard to understand. Im sure you dont understand all the way ethier, the only person that could is us who lived it.


----------



## msmelissa

Rock Rose said:


> The first thing that made me want to comment is what you wrote about your choice not to move him up and keep him with his age group. I was moved up a grade and it did me a world of bad. I'm inclined to think that it played a part in the problems and situation in life at the moment.
> 
> I don't have much information about the neurological aspects of DP, but maybe I can give you some advice from my experience.
> 
> Playing an instrument. For me it's the didgeridoo and the guitar, but I it could be anything. It lets me immerse myself in sound directly linked to my body and emotions. It has been a great help for me, and it might help your son. It also gives a sense of progress and achievement.
> Writing down thought, anxieties and all those things that keep on going back and forth in the mind. It clears the mind, at least for a while, and helps to get a sense of continuity, time and personality.
> Not making the disorder the only thing about himself. Not linking everything to the disorder. Commenting about things regardless, normal, day-to-day things, establishing a sense of normal life, not just life under the shadow of DP.
> 
> And one last thing, and there is no blame here, I know you want the best for your son. I recognize some parts in your post from my parent's attitude towards me, especially what you said about it stemming from being bored at school (My family maintains that there is nothing wrong with me other than being intelligent and bored with the stimulation around me)
> I'm quoting from a book someone has brought in this forum. It is only a theory, it applies to me, and I hope you will consider it:
> 
> "Paul Schilder, in a well-known paper on the
> treatment of depersonalization, stated: "I am inclined to stress the fact that the
> patient with depersonalization has been admired very much by the parents
> for his intellectual and physical gifts..."
> ...
> Schilder goes on to say that the parental attitude of considering the
> child a "showpiece" rather than a complete human being eventually results
> in deep dissatisfaction. Initial self-adulation, stemming from an identification
> with parental attitudes, will ultimately be followed by emotional emptiness,
> even though intellect remains intact and the person may appear quite normal"
> 
> from "Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self" by Daphne Simeon, Jeffrey Abugel p.58 -59


Thank you for the insight. I also agree that I am grateful to have not moved my son up a grade and instead to fight for him to be given work appropriate for his level and to keep him with his peers. I have allowed my son to guide us with the course he feels comfortable with. He stated that this arose from about 9th grade and the boredom with the classes not being challenging enough. He has played the guitar, but does enjoy activities outside of school, which I completely encourage to great lengths. I have also supported him in sports. I do not want you you take this the wrong way, but all of my kids are gifted intellectually and are not daily told that due to their intelligence they are required to behave a certain way, but rather I have taken their leads for their desire for harder work. Both my husband and I growing up were always segregated into the gifted classes and due to this I have steered away from any forcing of being labeled a certain way, but rather let my son tell me what he would like and then fought with the educational system to help guide him. My son is the one who really wants to be able to do his work to his best ability but gets frustrated by not being able to, and I assure him it is okay and do what you can and it is okay to take a break if necessary,( I have gotten his school to set aside a quiet place whenever he needs to just chill), and hopefully he will meet all of us part way in the incredibly hard situation. I also assure him that I cannot know what it feels like since I have not experienced it, but I believe it is real and I will do anything to help guide and protect when necessary to help him feel safe and okay.


----------



## msmelissa

savana said:


> kind of sounds like me, im 13 years old and have the same stuff going on as your son.
> Im a 4.0 student, and in GATE, but struggling to keep a C average. Dp makes it incredibly difficult to study, read, or for that matter even sit through classes. You have to get your son in some serious therapy, and get to the source of his dp. Mines from smoking weed, maybe his is too. I dont know, he is a wonderful future ahead of him, this is just a stump in the road, he will get through this. Hes very very lucky to have a mother trying to cure him. My mother thinks im a phyco for telling her whats going on, but hey its hard to understand. Im sure you dont understand all the way ethier, the only person that could is us who lived it.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am sorry that your mother does not take this as real, fortunately I have a very open relationship with my kids and they know they can come to me for anything without being judged, I wish you could have that same closeness. My son has not smoked anything, or tried any illicit drugs, which I am grateful for. He has been able to keep a 4.0 with accommodations from the school, which I fought for all the way to the superintendent and all the way down to teachers and guidance counselors. I tell him that this is a bump in the road of life and we will get through it and to trust me and his doctors to be there for him. My son is in therapy and hopefully he will trust the therapists to help guide him through this.


----------



## savana

msmelissa said:


> Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am sorry that your mother does not take this as real, fortunately I have a very open relationship with my kids and they know they can come to me for anything without being judged, I wish you could have that same closeness. My son has not smoked anything, or tried any illicit drugs, which I am grateful for. He has been able to keep a 4.0 with accommodations from the school, which I fought for all the way to the superintendent and all the way down to teachers and guidance counselors. I tell him that this is a bump in the road of life and we will get through it and to trust me and his doctors to be there for him. My son is in therapy and hopefully he will trust the therapists to help guide him through this.


Is there any thoughts of why he has this? I mean some people do just get it, but sometimes theres a reason. Did he ever get panic attakcs before the dp? But, your son will recover from this, and get back to his old self. His pain is real, and having all these people that love or support him is a great thing to have. When you had dp, you think your worthless kind of like deppression, so having people that care about you trully helps. You seem to be a wondrful and caring mother. I really do bless your family, these times are hard, but you will get through them.<3


----------



## msmelissa

The only thing that he says that he noticed this from was spacing out in school due to lack of interest in waiting for the teacher to catch up with the students not getting it. The panic attacks only began after the dp and when school started in the fall and the struggle to read with the snow vision. He would be so worried about not being able to do the work in later classes in the day that he would get so anxiety ridden. I approached the subject with the doctors and all would quick to think it was depression and not anxiety but after awhile they started to believe that maybe I was right and took him off the meds. ( which by the way, only had negative effects and increased the dp feelings.) I did locate the DMAE today and I am starting him on that to see if that helps. Again, I am grateful that my son will talk to me and I don't have to guess what is going on.


----------



## Arielrealm

Sounds like.. that in his spacing out.. he is in a sense, meditating and altering his consciousness. And dp is also known as an altered state of consciousness.

I guess this is not anything the doctors will share with you.. can't say that this info is 100% accurate.. but maybe there is some truth in it..






more info.. 




Fast Learners or Slow...

Indigo kids may be disruptive in the classroom because they are learn at a different rate from other children. Most indigos are extremely gifted in one or more areas. Their strong sense of individuality, as well as curiosity and the desire to learn, makes it hard for them to slow their pace to match the rest of the class.

In other areas that are not their strong point, an indigo kid may struggle to keep up with the expected level for his or her age group. Some indigo kids learn to read very late because they have little patience for their own weaknesses.
Indigo Sensitivity

Most indigo kids are very sensitive.

They are highly attuned to their environment - sounds, smells, energy and even electric currents (some have been known to "kill" watches, or break light bulbs when they walk past).
Read on

* Indigo or Crystal? A Comparison
* Support for Sensitive Indigo Kids
* The Rise of the Indigo Children

Indigo children are especially sensitive to truth and falsehood. They respond poorly to harsh criticism. If they are lied to or not respected as people, they may retreat or refuse to participate in class, work or discussions.

Indigos are aware of the feelings of the people around them, and may reach out to other kids who are having trouble. They are often the target of bullies because of their emotional sensitivity.
Indigo Children, ADD and ADHD

Because of their sensitivity, learning challenges, and desruptiveness in class, indigo children may be labeled as ADD or ADHD. Teachers are encouraged to deal with "problem" children who don't conform by forcing parents to put them on psychoactive drugs such as Ritalin or Prozac or withdraw from school.

The challenge for parents and teachers is to find an approach to work with these kids and their unique strengths and needs, instead of by suppressing them with prescription drugs.
Needs of the Indigo in the Classroom

The key to teaching indigo children is respect. Indigo kids must be respected before they will respect and pay attention to their teacher.

Almost as importantly, indigo kids need to be challenged and to have their intelligence welcomed. They usually "check out" and become disruptive in class when they are bored, or have no outlet for creativity.
Other Alternatives to Drugs

Pharmaceutical drugs for ADD and ADHD may help some. The side effects of these drugs, however, are horrendous. They include liver problems, lack of appetite, emotional "deadness," fatigue, chronic depression, and violent and suicidal impulses.

There are alternatives to drugs, such as changes to diet and natural treatments which are effective in helping indigo and ADHD kids to learn, communicate and improve their social and behavioral skills.

Read more at Suite101: Indigo Children in the Classroom: ADD Kids & Trouble-Makers May Be Smart, Troubled, Intuitive Indigos http://www.suite101.com/content/indigo-kids-a25426#ixzz18ayASx93

http://www.suite101.com/content/indigo-kids-a25426


----------

