# Are you older than you look?



## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

What I'm about to say and question here may seem somewhat eccentric, but it's still something that I really want to investigate. When I read the book Stranger in the Mirror by Marlene Steinberg a couple months ago, she described one brief little observation that I found to be really interesting. In one line of text, I recall reading that she found many people with dissociative disorders tend to look a lot younger than they really are. I'm guessing that she didn't really follow up on that detail since it seems like a very questionable correlation for which she may get ridiculed.

Anyway, I myself am also somewhat skeptical of this correlation, but it just so happens that it applies to me. Recently, I graduated from college, am 23 years old, and I still look about 17 or 18 years old. And I should stress the fact that I am a guy, so I can assure everyone that this is nothing for me to brag about. Also, the only other person I know that just might have a dissociative disorder also looks a lot younger than he really is (he's also 23, and he looks about 18 as well).

Since I have no idea what everyone here looks like, I should ask whether you all happen to carry this characteristic as well. Oh yeah, and also say for how long you had DP/DR, since the correlation also may have something to do with the duration of this disorder. So far, I had DP/DR for 12 years.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and also please post even if this doesn't apply to you. It'll be very important to get an overall picture.


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2007)

Yes, I can relate to that, here is a current photo of me.

http://images.google.com.au/images?.../goochmom17.smugmug.com/photos/76793499-D.jpg


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2007)

Seriously though, people do say I look younger than my age.
But I think I have left myself open with that last post, there is a certain irony to it, don't you think?

G.


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## PAXIS (Aug 12, 2006)

Me too


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

.


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

Hmm, the ratio of us having this already seems somewhat interesting, but as said before, it may also be important to say how long you had DP/DR too. My guess is that people who just got DP/DR may not carry this trait as much.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

People always say i look younger then i do. Im in my mid 20's and i can pass for 18 or 19. Im a guy by the way so that can be a good or bad thing depending on your perspective.

I look at it as a good thing because it will pay off when i get older because then i can pick up younger chick's.


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

.


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I look about 7 years younger but I attribute it to my lifestyle, since I've been running and cycling, lifting weights, for the last 12 years of my life...consistently, and I also get a lot of rest/sleep. I hardly eat fast food and I consume large amounts of oatmeal and fish oils; great for your skin. Oh, and smoking and liquor will make you look like Keith Richards in no time so stay away from those vices.


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## Lynch_mob (Jan 10, 2007)

I am younger then people say as well.


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## Catharsis (Jul 2, 2006)

*raises paw*

I've always been a couple years older mentally than physically


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Dreamland said:


> Oh, and smoking and liquor will make you look like Keith Richards in no time so stay away from those vices.


 I was a raging alcoholic for 3 years ( Ive been drinking since i was 14 but i stopped years ago) and ive been smoking since i was 14 and i still look much younger then my age so that doesent always hold true.

But when i was a full blown drunk at the age of 20 people said that i looked like i was in my late 20's. So since ive stopped drinking, cut out bad drug's and started working out alot i look alot younger now then i did when i was 20. Which is a totally weird but good thing.


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

I got asked for ID for alcohol twice last week and I am 26 so I look younger than I am. Are our minds stuck at a lower age or something, im sure Freud would have a field day with us with all his regressive theories.


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2007)

My bit on the side thought I was 19 (If I were she'd really would have a toy boy =P she's 27... heh)

A good post, although stress tends to make you age with haste... but at this moment of time I always feel relaxed, unless I come out of my comfort zone.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

I look older than what I am. It's tempting to say I'm 5yrs older, 28.


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## Guest (Jan 28, 2007)

miss_starling said:


> I look older than what I am. It's tempting to say I'm 5yrs older, 28.



Well i was gonna buy you a walking stick when we all get together in the furture... so ... *nods*


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## rlf (Nov 5, 2005)

I'm 55 most people guess my age at 45. When I was 40 I got carded.


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## peaceboy23 (May 25, 2005)

When I was younger people always mistook me for being older than I was. When I was a senior in high school and worked at a grocery store, a guy said something to me about college and I mentioned I was only 17, and he was really surprised, said he was sure i was at least 21. However, now I would say that I look about my age...most people tend to guess mid twenties and they are right . However, mentally I have always felt years older than I actually am, which has it's ups and downs, i guess.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm 25, but men on my dad's side of the family age very, very slowly. My father is 55, but looks 45 (full head of black hair, no extra weight, no wrinkles) and his brother, who is 45 and a bit of an alchoholic looks 35. I'm usually told I look 18-20, although when I dont shave and get the "Miami Vice" look going on, people guess my age right. I'm told I have a young face, although I think with older eyes.

Way to go Comfortably Numb! I'm always glad to hear people improving their lives. And I know what your saying, Peaceboy. I've always felt much older than people my age, although that got alot better when I got rid of my anxiety and was healed of some old hurts.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2007)

When I was younger (let's say 19), I was mostly estimated older. Now Im older (35) Im mostly estimated younger (even 25). Dont know how that works.


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## mornhyland (Feb 25, 2007)

I turn 40 this summer, but everyone thinks I am in my mid-20's. I am a college student, finally, and if I invite the interpreter (ASL) to have lunch with me at the dining commons they ask if she is my mother (she's 10 years older than me). I often have to show my license to prove I am actually 40.


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## Guest (Mar 16, 2007)

I thought stress made you look older. and DP = Stress, so doesnt DP = looking older? very confused by all of these posts.

Eric


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

I'm 19 and people often confuse me for being 13 or 14. I attribute that to my height because I'm only 4 foot 9 inches tall and I don't think I look young in the face. I hate when people ask me if my son is my little brother.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

My friend gets that when she answers the door - they ask if her mum is at home. She's 29 with three children. (Lucky her!).


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## ?real?ity? (Feb 18, 2007)

invisible.ink said:


> I'm 19 and people often confuse me for being 13 or 14. I attribute that to my height because I'm only 4 foot 9 inches tall and I don't think I look young in the face. I hate when people ask me if my son is my little brother.


hehehe sorry had to laugh


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## 17545 (Feb 14, 2007)

The only thing about me that doesn't look my age, is my height. I'm a short guy.


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

?real?ity? said:


> invisible.ink said:
> 
> 
> > I'm 19 and people often confuse me for being 13 or 14. I attribute that to my height because I'm only 4 foot 9 inches tall and I don't think I look young in the face. I hate when people ask me if my son is my little brother.
> ...


Why?


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## Catharsis (Jul 2, 2006)

invisible.ink said:


> I'm 19 and people often confuse me for being 13 or 14. I attribute that to my height because I'm only 4 foot 9 inches tall and I don't think I look young in the face. I hate when people ask me if my son is my little brother.


hahahaha. 18 is pretty damn young to have a kid though.


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## invisible.ink (Feb 2, 2007)

Catharsis said:


> invisible.ink said:
> 
> 
> > I'm 19 and people often confuse me for being 13 or 14. I attribute that to my height because I'm only 4 foot 9 inches tall and I don't think I look young in the face. I hate when people ask me if my son is my little brother.
> ...


Agreed. But I am not your average teenager. We are financially stable and have a stable home life. We were already living on our own when I became pregnant with him. He wasn't planned but it's not like he came at a bad time. I still graduated high school and I'm in college now.


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## Guest (Mar 17, 2007)

I look younger than I am. And I don't think it means anything (related to dp/dr).


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## lostsoul (Aug 25, 2006)

Totally depends where the cause of 'DP/DR' is trauma or weed. For me the cause is both. I'm 24 and people think I'm 29. My psych. even thought I was 32 (but that might be because she met my girlfriend who is 31).
'DP/Dr' means fatique, low energy. Looking young has all to do with the amount of energy you have. Besides from that people with 'DP/DR' often seem like they take themselves too serious. Both these combined would make you look older. So I was surprised by this statement.

Anyway, my age is my last worry. People may think I'm 150 when at least I got out of this.


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## Guest (Mar 17, 2007)

lostsoul said:


> Besides from that people with 'DP/DR' often seem like they take themselves too serious.


No sh*t... lol


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## turnIntoearth (Feb 26, 2007)

I've always looked older than I was. Of course, there was a period of about 4 years when I was abusing every substance under the sun, so I'm sure I've probably knocked off at least a decade from my life-span. 
Feelin' good these days, though. What was it Mr. Zimmerman said, "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now..."

_~T_


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## monnolith (Feb 21, 2007)

People are outright shocked when I tell them I'm 34. They swear up and down that I look no older than 25. I haven't decided if this is in fact a complement.

As a personal choice tho, I don't drink, smoke, or do ANY drugs. Never have, never will. Oh, and I do work out regularly, eat my veggies, and try to stay out of the sun most of the time. I'll even eat meat and drink my coffee every day, and also try to affirm myself every day too (my therapist told me it was a "success journal" - but I had been doing it for years prior to learning this). I guess it all seems to be working.

I'd like to think I'm going to age gracefully because of my lifestyle, maturing into a more "distinguished" gentleman, but just my luck, I'll end up being the non-smoker who dies at 40 with lung cancer.


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## stanD'infamy (Nov 27, 2006)

Hey - this interested me,

Actually just yesterday I got asked for ID when buying some alcohol,
I am 23 years old. I look about 18 (even tho I still got asked). I think this is interesting..... maybe it has something to do with us being 'late developers'
and smoking weed had more of an effect on our young minds!

oh well


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

invisible.ink said:


> Agreed. But I am not your average teenager. We are financially stable and have a stable home life. We were already living on our own when I became pregnant with him. He wasn't planned but it's not like he came at a bad time. I still graduated high school and I'm in college now.


Wow. And I can assume that you still have to put up with all this DP/DR bs. That's actually quite inspirational to hear.


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## Mischa (Aug 23, 2004)

There was a excerpt from a DP study that was done in 1940's ( !! - if I am not mistaken) on the old Andy's board . It said couple quite interesting things about DP (really unlike other DP materials) . One of them was that DP tends to occur in people whose development in adolescence is slowed and who are retarded in getting mature (which means they also look younger) 
This thing I really remembered because definitely applied to me. Since my adolescence I always looked younger . And to be honest , I have never really gotten mature  . In my early thirties there were people guessing I was like 5-10 years younger . Now I am 38 and it is not that 'distinctive' (also because of my receding hair) still people say I look about 5 years younger.

Anyway, this thing might mean more teenage angst (or how you call it in English) , in my case probably beeing slower in growing and getting mature in my adolescence brought (in combination with my anxious personality) more stress and anxiety than I was able to handle. I got DP without any apparent reason gradually in the age 13-17.

This thing of course cannot be generalized , but might be applied on a certain group of dP people, who knows. I met about other 5 people with dP and they looked their age.

I would like to read the 1940's study I mentioned , but even the excerpt cannot be found in the Andy's board archives . Maybe some people like Dreamer would know where to go (?) .


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

Whoa, I really find that very hard to believe.

Myself, I have been consciously growing down since I was about 16. Childhood was a distant memory by the time I hit 5yrs old.


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## Guest (Mar 19, 2007)

Mischa said:


> And to be honest , I have never really gotten mature  .


Oh i got mature years ago... :roll: fookin damn right :mrgreen:


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

I'm 25 and people say I look 16 or 18.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Oh and I've had this DP since about 6 or 7.


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## none (Dec 29, 2005)

//


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## Guest (Apr 4, 2007)

DP is different to every one... it doesn't course me stress... in fact for me it's a anti stress... yet if i had not accpeted it... i would course me a great deal of stress.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

turnIntoearth said:


> I've always looked older than I was. Of course, there was a period of about 4 years when I was abusing every substance under the sun, so I'm sure I've probably knocked off at least a decade from my life-span.
> Feelin' good these days, though. What was it Mr. Zimmerman said, "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now..."
> 
> _~T_


 I love that song you can't go wrong with mr.zimmerman.

Ya when i was alcoholic and i abused more then a number of drugs i looked to be in my late 20's or even 30. That was back when i was 20 and 21 or so. Now that ive stopped drinking and cut out the bad substances im told i look anywhere from 18 to 20. So i actually went back in time abit atleast look's wise anyway .

I always get carded for smokes and im 25 now lol. When i was 19 or 20 i never got checked for ID at all.


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

Mischa said:


> I would like to read the 1940's study I mentioned , but even the excerpt cannot be found in the Andy's board archives . Maybe some people like Dreamer would know where to go (?) .


Wow, that's really interesting. I really want to know too, but do you think it's one of the ones listed here: http://www.iop.kcl.ac.uk/departments/?locator=911&context=720#40's? There are only three articles between 1940 and 1949.


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

peacedove said:


> I'm 25 and people say I look 16 or 18.


same


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## flipwilson (Aug 19, 2006)

This is very interesting. Ive always looked and felt younger than people my age. Im 27 and people think im 18 to 21. All my friends growing up were always younger...when i was 10 one of my best friends was a 5 year old....when i was in highschool all my friends in my neighborhood were 2 to 3 years younger.

I always wondered maybe because as i got older i never looked like a 'man' or how i thought a man should look that i didnt feel like a man, and then you struggle with everything from confidence to identity, and you dont achieve a healthy ego and such. :?:

I wouldnt doubt this has something to do with DP


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

I have heard of a saying of how one's mind tends to stay in one particular age during the time when that person experiences extreme trauma. For example, I still feel like I'm 11 at times. So my mind is 11 years old, I look 17, and am actually 23. It's kind of funny how the age I look is the average between the two.

I just realized that I should have entitled this thread "Do you look younger than your age?"


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

I'm nearly 25 and still get ID'd more often than not when trying to buy alcohol. When I was about 22 I also got ID'd for cigarettes. Go me!

zbohem x


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## mornhyland (Feb 25, 2007)

siouxsie said:


> I'm nearly 25 and still get ID'd more often than not when trying to buy alcohol. When I was about 22 I also got ID'd for cigarettes. Go me!
> 
> zbohem x


I turn 40 this summer and I still get carded for alcohol almost all the time, though I don't drink that much.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

mornhyland said:


> I turn 40 this summer and I still get carded for alcohol almost all the time, though I don't drink that much.


 Start drinking everyday you will look older in no time lol.


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

Layla said:


> But I've had it since childhood.
> When I was a kid people always thought I was older than I was.
> I was my adult height of five feet four inches by the time I was 11.
> 
> I haven't changed much since I was 14 though. Pictures from then could be from now if my hair weren't different.


Same here. Onset sometime in childhood. In my early 30's now but am usually told I look much younger. I've been the same height since roughly 11/12 (about 5'9"). And I too, ironically looked much _older_ than my age when I was really young.

I ran into a friend of mine from junior high school (11-14ish) and that's all he kept saying, "Oh my God...you look _exactly_ the same."

Hmm...maybe there's a portrait of me growing old in somebody's attic...


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

HalfAPerson said:


> Same here. Onset sometime in childhood. In my early 30's now but am usually told I look much younger. I've been the same height since roughly 11/12 (about 5'9"). And I too, ironically looked much _older_ than my age when I was really young.
> 
> I ran into a friend of mine from junior high school (11-14ish) and that's all he kept saying, "Oh my God...you look _exactly_ the same."
> 
> Hmm...maybe there's a portrait of me growing old in somebody's attic...


This reminds me of the film 'The Witches', it really freaked me out.

HalfAPerson, Thank you for the odd meassages here and there, you are very kind and it doesn't go un-noticed. Bless you...


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

LOL...thanks siouxsie. 
 
Now you've got _me_ freaked out. The Witches? Haven't seen that one...


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Everywhere I go people say to me "You look younger than your age". Sometimes when new people just look at me, I say "Yeah, I know I don't look 20 years old". They usualy say I look betwen 14- 18. :?


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

HalfAPerson said:


> LOL...thanks siouxsie.
> 
> Now you've got _me_ freaked out. The Witches? Haven't seen that one...


Rohl Dahl, PM me your address and I'll post it to you. Seriously, it's precious viewing. A girl gets stuck in a painting and that post made me think of it.

Other than that it's just a great 'kid's' film.


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

Man, that was part of a great set of books as well...perhaps my favorite books ever when I was a kid. I believe that most of his other books became movies too.


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

Ah, ok. I was referring to The Portrait of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde...same concept about the picture though


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