# This is pure hell



## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

I am tired of dealing with this crap for almost 5 months. I am tired of having ok days and then I get hit with horrific days like today and I feel like I am back to square one. I was at target and all of a sudden like always I feel this sick panic feeling and right away I started having one of those soul leaving body dream fake feeling attacks. I had to run out of there. That's the only way I can discribe the horror of those attacks. I just hate this crap! I don't know what else to do to try to get my life back. This is so damn disturbing and I am so mentally exhasted! I need some advice asap! Anything that hashelped anyone come out this hell!


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## jamesKC (Jul 9, 2017)

Vent. What's going on? I'm here.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Sorry its come back harshly again im in the same boat , it died of for me a while back and its now back again mines from anxiety. 
I cant offer much advice just that im in the same boat i know how insanely frustrating it is to go 10 steps back !

Just keep pushing forward keeping yourself busy thats what I'm doing and it certainly helps .
Do you take meds for the anxiety/panic ?


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

allison84 said:


> Sorry its come back harshly again im in the same boat , it died of for me a while back and its now back again mines from anxiety.
> I cant offer much advice just that im in the same boat i know how insanely frustrating it is to go 10 steps back !
> 
> Just keep pushing forward keeping yourself busy thats what I'm doing and it certainly helps .
> Do you take meds for the anxiety/panic ?


I only take Amitrypline to help me see. Do you get these weird attacks too?


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

jamesKC said:


> Vent. What's going on? I'm here.


I'm just tired of this Dp/dr and the out of body soul leaving my body attacks. This is hell


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Target was always the worst for me. That and Walmart. Sudden overwhelming sensations of fear and wanting to just bolt and get the hell out. The medication I got on helped with that and I no longer have the crippling fear. So now when I go, I "just" feel overstimulated, dizzy, off-balance, fatigued and totally out of it anytime I go anywhere. Needless to say I am mostly housebound now.


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

Chicane said:


> Target was always the worst for me. That and Walmart. Sudden overwhelming sensations of fear and wanting to just bolt and get the hell out. The medication I got on helped with that and I no longer have the crippling fear. So now when I go, I "just" feel overstimulated, dizzy, off-balance, fatigued and totally out of it anytime I go anywhere. Needless to say I am mostly housebound now.


For 5 months I been forcing myself to go everywhere and do everything like normal and it's hard but I get it done. But I just don't understand why the hell i get these weird detachment attack. My psichiatrist says those are dissociative attacks due to panic but she never explains in full. She gets on my damn nerves. And wants me to keep shoving Xanax which I refuse to take. I'm tired of medications that aren't working. I'm just damn tired


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## jamesKC (Jul 9, 2017)

This sounds like anxiety. Sounds like Klonopin and a very small amount of SSRI (rather than a Tricyclical) and maybe a tad of Ritalin would be helpful.


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## jamesKC (Jul 9, 2017)

I think this: that those weird detachment things are similar to brain zaps which happens upon withdrawal of SSRIs.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

HopingCat36 said:


> I only take Amitrypline to help me see. Do you get these weird attacks too?


Hi yes i do get those attacks ever since it all started , i had one last week out of nowhere its freaking horrible .
The only thing i do is not panic because i know its going to make it way worse . 
Ive had those attacks while im around other people and i have to stand there acting normal . 
Some how i manage


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

allison84 said:


> Hi yes i do get those attacks ever since it all started , i had one last week out of nowhere its freaking horrible .
> The only thing i do is not panic because i know its going to make it way worse .
> Ive had those attacks while im around other people and i have to stand there acting normal .
> Some how i manage


Omg yes! Me too!! All the time I get those attacks around people and I have to stand there dying in the inside. It's horrific. I just don't know what to do to make them stop.


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

I suffered those spells for 20 years, following a horrific experience on my 1st cannabis intoxication. I the late 80s, the medical/psychiatric community announced treatment for panic attack syndrome. It wasn't an exact fit of my symptoms, but it was close enough. I started the new drugs, SSRIs (Paxil) and my spells stopped. But it didn't cure everything. I still suffered depressive episodes that were epic struggles for survival with extreme insomnia and weight loss due to intense anxiety. I still experienced frequent ocular migraines and other psychiatric symptoms. One day I was browsing British Neurological Journals and I came across a case history which matched mine exactly. Every detail. I had solved the mystery of my mental illness in my mid 50s. (better late than never). I had an unexpected visitor during my cannabis intoxication at age 17. I had a seizure called "epigastric or abdominal aura" followed by a massive temporal lobe seizure. I was "status epilepticus" for a while, while my brain fried having seizure upon seizure. When it was over, I was not the same. My personality changed. I was agoraphobic. I suffered "post ictal" psychosis. DP/DR. I developed an affective disorder of major depression. I was a worst case scenario. I felt that part of me had died. I requested diagnostics be done when I made my discovery. Those diagnostics supported my beliefs. My EEGs were significantly abnormal, indicating a history of epileptic seizure. It is mostly behind me now. I am 62. I have my answers. My only psych med is 35 mg Lexapro. I remember having frequent spells in the big box stores. Sensory overload due to chrome, mirrors, and clutter cause the temporal lobe to spazz out. Those are just unpleasant memories for me now.


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

forestx5 said:


> I suffered those spells for 20 years, following a horrific experience on my 1st cannabis intoxication. I the late 80s, the medical/psychiatric community announced treatment for panic attack syndrome. It wasn't an exact fit of my symptoms, but it was close enough. I started the new drugs, SSRIs (Paxil) and my spells stopped. But it didn't cure everything. I still suffered depressive episodes that were epic struggles for survival with extreme insomnia and weight loss due to intense anxiety. I still experienced frequent ocular migraines and other psychiatric symptoms. One day I was browsing British Neurological Journals and I came across a case history which matched mine exactly. Every detail. I had solved the mystery of my mental illness in my mid 50s. (better late than never). I had an unexpected visitor during my cannabis intoxication at age 17. I had a seizure called "epigastric or abdominal aura" followed by a massive temporal lobe seizure. I was "status epilepticus" for a while, while my brain fried having seizure upon seizure. When it was over, I was not the same. My personality changed. I was agoraphobic. I suffered "post ictal" psychosis. DP/DR. I developed an affective disorder of major depression. I was a worst case scenario. I felt that part of me had died. I requested diagnostics be done when I made my discovery. Those diagnostics supported my beliefs. My EEGs were significantly abnormal, indicating a history of epileptic seizure. It is mostly behind me now. I am 62. I have my answers. My only psych med is 35 mg Lexapro. I remember having frequent spells in the big box stores. Sensory overload due to chrome, mirrors, and clutter cause the temporal lobe to spazz out. Those are just unpleasant memories for me now.


I'm glad you are better now and I am going to look into this. This first happened to be when I was 18 because of marijuana. I remember getting Paxil and never took it. I suffered for over a year with this hell. Then somehow I recovered. Now I am 36 and this hell came back with no weed involved so it had been very hard for me to accept that this is anxiety when I was happy and don't have any disorders. I don't do drugs, healthy, no alcohol and this hell came rushing back like a monster for no reason. I feel horrific.


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

jamesKC said:


> This sounds like anxiety. Sounds like Klonopin and a very small amount of SSRI (rather than a Tricyclical) and maybe a tad of Ritalin would be helpful.


It sure does sound like I need some type of medicine cocktail for this brain to snap back to reality. When this hell first started I took Zoloft for 6 weeks and that made things worse. I came off it. Now I'm just with that Amitrypiline and 10mg that's pretty much nothing


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