# Learning to live



## Sean1997- (Nov 9, 2015)

I havent recovered as such, but having had this experience before i know im near the latter stages of this. It seems to me that the more you try to engage the more evident the uneasiness feels. So, therefore i think its essential to try to understand that the change you are trying to bring about (feeling okay) is going to happen without your knowledge. You have steps of progress, but essentially it just goes without you even realising.

My advice would be, despite everything that you may be feeling try to find comfort in your discomfort. For example, you may feel exhausted and hopeless with your perception of the world and hate the thought of doing anything that exacerbates that uneasiness. However, the act of doing something is releasing your suppressed feelings: you are conquering your feelings. So each time you have achieved something, just realise how strong you are to withstand everything that life has given you.

This time i took the opportunity to learn a new instrument- i picked the guitar. With the cognitive difficulties, it seemed like i would be slow at learning even the basics. But i persevered and have came to the realisation that even with a blank mind, im learning it just as efficiently as i would have done beforehand. Finding a hobby is huge, not to recovery, but to being able to remain grounded through this testing period.

Trust me, i have had this before and it does go away with time and patience. I hope this helps  stay strong!!


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

hey nice post! i have had this before and after two years lovely dp free here I am again and it is even weirder then before. I feel like my life isnt my life and that I dont belong here. Its like my history has been erased and im in another place as a different person. Or like I was just born. Feel like I could never go back to normal. Do you have these feelings? How do you approach it does it scare you ? I feel like crying most of the time because I am trying to figure out a way back and just get more confused. I agree with you about the whole it happens without you knowing. This is what happened last time for me. It gradually faded and you dont even notice untill you look back and say hey i havent thought or felt that in a while. And then you just continue about normal life. Im just really struggling at the moment. Fairplay to you learning guitar thats awesome. !


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## Sean1997- (Nov 9, 2015)

Im pretty sure i remember you from before when i had it last time. The exact same circumstances with me, 2 years dp free and then everything crashed around me. And yes i can relate to that completely. It seems like theres even more pressure the second time around, because i was trying so hard to replicate how i recovered before, without knowing what i actually did.

The memories of myself and my experiences seem so far away, and trying to socialise or integrate into normal things seem as though ive never known how to do it and the feelings are torturous trying to discover who you are

How long have you had it this time around? And i feel you, i dont think theres much i can say to help you other than to keep going! I know how tough it is, it just seems like a purging mechanism, in which all this conjures up every single aspect of insecurity ×100 and plagues your mind, body and soul to the core.

You will definitely beat this again, when is a rhetorical question but to answer your question about whether the feeling ill never be normal again scares me. Yes it does immensely, i used to tally up the length of time i experienced this last time and almost count down my days to 'normalcy', i have no coping mechanism other than to try and shift my perspective no matter how much it pains me to do so. All these negative ways of feeling into goal setting and commitment strategies.

For example, ive done more this year than i have ever done in my life with this condition, and it wasnt easy but the accomplishment was slightly rewarding afterwards.

I hope you take a bit of encouragement from this and feel free to message me if youre really struggling. It seems as though, we have had similar journeys


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