# if i was to say that my dp started after watching a film



## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

what would your conclusions be as to why i had this second bout of dp...

im being totally serious and not in the least bit hyperthetical...it was the year 2000 i was working for kodak limited and i borrowed the film 'the matrix' from a work colleague
i was working in the stores as a purchaser and distributer and we had a regular driver who was a film buff turn up everyday and we talked about the matrix until in the end i blew my mind and told him not to talk about it anymore...now it wasnt long (a matter of days) before i was visiting the doctors for sedatives and taking time off of work...

its my own thought processes isnt it ? maybe maybe not ?

i seems to get stuck on a subject and cant let it go

anyway

have a good day


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2005)

I guess anything could set it off - see my other thread I posted recently (funnily enough) about films. Maybe this was the catalyst that caused it?


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2005)

The Matrix is BASED on a primal fear of humans...that's why it was so popular! It's not odd at all, JC.....this film touches on (teases) the foundation of ego annihilation - the fear/idea that "I AM NOT REAL"

It's a metaphor for a truth - many of us are living lies...we are not who we really think we should be, or who we NEED to believe we are....we are wearing masks and telling ourselves stories every day - WE are ones who put ourselves into cacoons and drain our vital energy like batteries supplying a source.

At some point in life, WE said "you know what? I think I'll just keep this blue pill....." (I don't recall which color is which, but I think blue is "keep the lie going"). WE made that choice out of fear that there was more to be seen inside the silver mirror than we could survive.

The movie taps those fears....the awareness (that we have and at the same time deny) that we are NOT who we like to think we are.

The terror that one day we will see more, know more, than we are able to handle. That's dp, folks.

Also, it's not only The Matrix. That's the power of art, in many forms. In the 1970's the "drive them crazy" movie was The Exorcist. It tapped different fears, but equally hidden ones. The idea of something "EVIL" inside us - taking us over, controlling us...etc. It represented the devil in all of us. There were scores of people who literally checked themselves into mental hospitals the year the film was released (NOT crazy people, obsessional neurotics...petrified that they were witnessing on the screen a very real but unspoken terror they lived with their entire lives)

Art is a window to our deepest fears and longings.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i suppose if we are already prone to deep thoughts then a film can indeed 'set us off'

its just lately ive had a clarified memory,and things id forgotten about seem to be returning,maybe this is due to the fact im 6 weeks sober and on a clean diet...but this seemed to be the starting point for me which i must have been in denial about as it doest sound very macho of me to say that a film caused me to think my way into a state of anxiety but thats indeed what it did do....but you saying that the exorcist caused hundreds to be hospitalized proves that a film and and someone who is prone to anxiety is a recipe for disaster....all i have to do now is undo the damage but the problem is the fact that we cant protect ourselves from every horrific experience in life so how do we as dper's deal with situations that arise that can so easily cause us to get ill ?


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2005)

If it makes you feel any better, my latest episode was caused by my girlfriend staying away for a night. Ridiculous I know - and not pleasant to live with, I assure you. I have never felt so close to:

A: Suicide
B: Madness
C: Total, soul destroying, despair.

Everything seems to spiral until it's so bad I can't bear it. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I'm talking more about anxiety here, but from what I've read hopefully someone will understand. I'm still 'echoing' with the shock of it now - and yet to an outside observer, nothing has happened.


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2005)

yes matrix had something to do with my dp because even before the matrix i had a theory about the world beingl ike the matrix but then when i watched it just confirmed my thoughts and i began to obsses about reality


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

to add to janine-
maybe sometimes we are so SECRETIVE about our fears that seeing them on the big screen makes us literally think that something is wrong because this filmmaker "exposed" us, we were the only ones that had this thought, how oculd they have done that!

but it's really that a lot of us have those thoughts

but since we don't know that we buy into this magical idea that the movie is talking only to US


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