# How I feel after around 20 days of recovery?! Need feedback



## sunjet (Nov 21, 2014)

The last topic I wrote is about a strange lingering sensation and this :










AFTER ~20 days:

I will put some points I noticed, most important:

How I felt then :

- apprehensive

- irrational/existential thoughts

- didn't feel sleepy, I just knew I must go to sleep (NO DREAMS AT ALL!!!)

- afraid that I will not fall asleep

- afraid that I will not recover

- rushing mind, can't concentrate

- some sort of emotional numbness

How I feel now :

- no more anxious

- no irrational/existential thoughts

- now I feel when i'm sleepy, yawning and (ALOT OF DREAMS!)

- not afraid that I will not fall asleep

- FEEL strange, I don't feel so detached, even if I try and force it, but I feel strange like I'm in a some kind of subtle DP that is not accompanied by fear, and I don't feel it like threat.

- no rushing mind, concentration much better.

- a bit afraid that I will not be able to come back to my old self, that i will not be able to escape this strangeness I feel now.

- changing mood.

So, in shorter words, my irrational/existential thoughts are almost absent, but the feeling of strangeness about my perception is at full. I find it so hard to describe, but I even don't try to analyse it, I just feel it strange.


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## xryan68 (Nov 29, 2014)

You and I are a lot alike. I don't feel so detached I just feel weird. My mood has been pretty low lately. It's weird man, we will all recover in full.


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## alicecr (Nov 13, 2014)

Exactly, right now, I don't know how I really feel, all I know is I feel off and strange, is really hard to describe. Slowly finding my way back to my normal self.


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## Meticulous (Jul 30, 2013)

Sadly some of us have become so used to having DP/DR for so long that how we used to feel, would now feel foreign. Living in "unreality" has become the norm for people like us, and it will take some time getting used to that strangeness of "reality" again. I felt the same strangeness when I recovered, but no anxiety as well. Embrace the fact that you have nearly recovered and don't obsess over the odd sensations, you'll get used to them again.


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## sunshinita (Aug 13, 2013)

sunjet, if it's not triggering,what were your existential thoughts like?


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## sunjet (Nov 21, 2014)

I don't have triggers anymore.

Thoughts like :

- What if I will lose my "me"

- What if I will wake up not recognising myself, I will be like on autopilot.

- What if one day I will just stop exist or even not wake up anymore

- What if I have some severe mental illness that is disguised under anxiety/depression with DP

- What if my brain is forever altered and I will never ever recover

- What if I will not be able to follow my recovery and stuck in this cycle forever

- What if I will need medication or I will finish up in a mental institute

- What if my wife we'll see that i'm insane and will leave me and I will be alone

- How I will get rid of this strangeness.

- What if I will not be able to return myself back.

and many shits.

None of these are real and I don't give them attention. They have no power anymore

I just feel strange/off/apprehensive/numb now and that's all.


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## sunshinita (Aug 13, 2013)

yeah, but I didn't see anything existential


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