# Is this what's happening to me?



## Shana (Feb 4, 2010)

Hi!

I'm a 30 year old teacher. Right now, I've been put on leave for clinical depression. I've had a rough year, both at work and in my personal life, and over the last few months I started showing symptoms of depression (extreme fatigue, crying, unable to get up, to get out of my car and go to work, avoiding social situations, trouble concentrating, not enjoying life anymore and others...) I didn't want to seek medical help 'cause I was ashamed and felt like I was making a whole lot out of nothing, but after a few very strange experiences in December/January, I finally sought help.

By looking on the Internet I just realized that those strange experiences correspond to symptoms of de-realization/de-personalization. I had described some experiences to a friend and she said I might be having panic attacks but I wasn't sure. I don't often experience intense fear... When it starts, I just get very dizzy or nauseous, my heart beats faster than normal (not like I'm having a heart attack, just as if I'd run up 4 flights of stairs!) and then it's like I pop out of my own body. I've described it as suddenly finding myself sitting in the passenger's seat of my own body. I'm there, but someone else is driving. While experiencing these episodes, I have a lot of trouble concentrating, I'm not sure what I'm doing. It's happened while I was out grocery shopping, and I stand there looking at my list not knowing what to do with it. I sometimes get sweaty and have hot flashes as well. I feel like I'm drunk, I have trouble walking straight. People who were with me when it happened said I lost all colour to my face and appeared drunk or high. These symptoms have lasted anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour, and afterward I feel very tired, drained and can sleep for hours on end. It seems to happen more often when I'm in a public place (in the school I work at, in stores) or when there is a lot of noise. Are those panic attacks? If they are, how come I don't feel intense fear or like I'm having a heart attack?

I'm very confused about what's happening to me. I also feel very guilty about not working right now, because I have a few normal days followed by days where I will have trouble to get out of bed and won't want to do anything and other days where I will "space out" two or three times.

Are my symptoms similar to yours?


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## Guest (Feb 4, 2010)

Hello,

Yes it does sound like you seem to be experiencing some DP/DR. I'm so sorry that you are having any trouble to begin with. It is really debilitating to have these things happen to you. Please browse the forum I'm sure you'll find some helpful tips and we are always here to support each other. Peace.


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## Mario (Oct 26, 2009)

Shana said:


> Hi!
> 
> I'm a 30 year old teacher. Right now, I've been put on leave for clinical depression. I've had a rough year, both at work and in my personal life, and over the last few months I started showing symptoms of depression (extreme fatigue, crying, unable to get up, to get out of my car and go to work, avoiding social situations, trouble concentrating, not enjoying life anymore and others...) I didn't want to seek medical help 'cause I was ashamed and felt like I was making a whole lot out of nothing, but after a few very strange experiences in December/January, I finally sought help.
> 
> ...


Hello Shana

By what you have described,I don't think you are having real panic attacks,but episodes of severe anxiety.What you are experiencing,sounds to me as a mild form of DP,(feeling detached of own body,detached of own mind,lack of concentration,sometimes confused,feeling unreal,in a dream like state),in my opinion associated to the pre-existent depression.You haven't described feelings of DR (feelings that the surroundings,the outside world,life itself seem unreal or a fake)
I'm not a doctor but i think the best idea would be to treat the pre-existent depression with anti-depressants,of course,(a SSRI or a SNRI would be the best options).Therefore,i would suggest you to see a psychiatrist for that.I'm almost certain that in your case,with a proper treatment of the depression,the feelings of DP will decrease or even stop.

All the best


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## manu (Jan 30, 2010)

hello
the heart beating faster thing happens to me too..and in my case its due to anxiety. my hands and feet get cold and i can hear my heart pumping really fast...d docs say these are panic attacks.
i keep worrying about having panic attacks again and again..and its my dp that is the cause of this anxiety.i feel confused, lost in public and times unable to concentrate. i feel like sleeping more and more. the more i think about dp, the more troublesome it gets...so i try to forget it by keeping myself busy with stuff...but it does come back to haunt me









please dig into forums to find out more about your case. i hope that would help.
peace.


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## Shana (Feb 4, 2010)

Thanks for the replies... People don't seem to understand at all what I'm talking about when I describe these "episodes." Even the psychologist I'm seeing doesn't seem to understand. As long as I have them, I don't want to go back to work. It happened once while I was in front of my class and I don't want it to happen again! It's hard, because I feel guilty being at home. Most days I will be fine, but then suddenly it will hit me like a freight train and burn all the energy that I have.

One thing is for sure, I hate this, whatever it is...


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