# what the hell



## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE? someone please give me a honest anwser. can i get over this 100%, no more dp AT ALL. i want to know.
i would really like to talk to someone who has completely 100% got out of this, as in no longer feel dream like, detached, anything!
i just want someone who is recovered to talk to me, please.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

I completely recovered. Of course, I had a relapse and I'm fighting my way out of it, but I can say that I have had DP before and recovered. Four years ago, I had it 24/7 for ten straight months. And I came out of it for three years. It was gone. My life went right back to how it was before I got DP.

Do not lose hope. It seems from recent posts that you've come pretty close to recovery, but I think your anxiety about how it isn't immediately subsiding is keeping the fear loop going. You get close, but because you don't recover as quickly as you want you start to worry that you'll be stuck like this. You start feeling better, but because the thoughts remain you start analyzing yourself again and focus on your symptoms.

I understand that -- I struggle with the same things. But there are numerous posts on this very board from those who have recovered 100%. It is possible. It is highly likely. Some people might try to tell you that you're stuck like this forever, but that's not true. Almost everyone eventually recovers. And how quickly you recover depends a lot on the mindset you're willing to adopt. You hold the key to your own recovery, even if you don't realize it.

Stay strong.


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

Thidwick said:


> I completely recovered. Of course, I had a relapse and I'm fighting my way out of it, but I can say that I have had DP before and recovered. Four years ago, I had it 24/7 for ten straight months. And I came out of it for three years. It was gone. My life went right back to how it was before I got DP.
> 
> Do not lose hope. It seems from recent posts that you've come pretty close to recovery, but I think your anxiety about how it isn't immediately subsiding is keeping the fear loop going. You get close, but because you don't recover as quickly as you want you start to worry that you'll be stuck like this. You start feeling better, but because the thoughts remain you start analyzing yourself again and focus on your symptoms.
> 
> ...


thank you so much for the great words, i really really needed that. i dont know if i asked you what caused yours the first time? but what really got you through the first time? and is there anything i can do to where once i get out of this i can not relapse anymore? if that maes sense


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

Both times were caused by anxiety from my fear of death. That actually helps me cope with my DP this time -- I know that the two separate panic attacks I had were responsible for both times I came down with DP. The anxiety and stress I felt was so immense that my mind had no choice but to disconnect me from reality. But my fear of the DP created a loop that proved impossible to break. The knowledge that I beat it before has helped me this time around because I know it's possible to feel normal again.

I'm not sure what got me through the first time, but it had a lot to do with a girl. I was a senior in high school, and part of what helped me was that I became so attracted to a girl in one of my classes that I started thinking about her so much that I had little time to think about my DP. The first time was way scarier than this time -- DP seemed like a magical thing. I didn't really understand how it worked. I just seemed trapped in this hell that refused to go away.

Another thing that helped me was I story I read online about a girl who experienced DP as a child. The difference between us and her was that she didn't fear it -- she grew up in an abusive home and would depersonalize to get away from it. She welcomed the DP, knew it wasn't real, and used it to get away from life for a while until she felt better. The DP didn't control her life because she wasn't afraid of it. That taught me the importance of letting go and not letting DP consume my life.

Of course, it's hard to keep all of this in mind. It's hard to stay focused on what you know -- that fearing DP only keeps it alive -- which is why it's good to have it reinforced often. It's good to get a word of encouragement from someone else.

And I don't think you have to worry much about relapsing. Most people never do. Once you reconnect, you don't really think about DP that much. It doesn't matter. All the thoughts that plague you don't matter anymore. You're too busy living your life to worry about that stuff.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

Remember: Three steps forward, two steps back is still one step forward.


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

Thidwick said:


> Remember: Three steps forward, two steps back is still one step forward.


thank you again so much, im going to pick up some hobbies, tried working, but i am just not ready for that..
but im okay with that. im going to work my way into it, and yes i keep getting myself into a cycle of worrying i will have this forever, its hard, but im ready to chnge my mind set.


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## aulds (Jun 5, 2012)

the reality of this is that you can get rid of this or you will have this for a very looooong time.


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

aulds said:


> the reality of this is that you can get rid of this or you will have this for a very looooong time.


any tips on how to get rid of it? and do you mean like once it becomes a cycle its realllly hard to break it?


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2012)

Yes it is completely possible, but you have to realize that it can take a very long time.


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## Hot Dog Water (Dec 27, 2011)

Your expecting way too much kaitlyn. You said the other day you were completely out of it for a while and went out without any anxiety.... that's much more than a lot people on here, including myself, can say. Maybe you'll have it the rest of your life, maybe you'll recover tomorrow. Thats the reality, as aulds said.


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

you guys are right, im just going to take it day by day, i just have freak out moments to where i get all crazy over it, its hard to explain. i think everyone can have recovery if we try, and thats what im going to do, well im not going to care about it anymore, and see where that gets me. if that makes sense.


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## mimomo (Apr 19, 2012)

You'll be just fine, Kaitlyn. I'm on my way to a full recovery. Sometimes it's a bit difficult, because I'm so convinced that my thoughts are 100% true, but I know they're not. Just keep thinking about how you felt in the past and no matter what, do NOT sit around all day - that makes shit wayyy worse.


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## SnowFlake (Jul 7, 2012)

ug. thats too bad that you weren't ready to work K. Like thid said its completelly possible to recover.I had it in 2008 and recovered for quite awhile before it started bothering me seriouslly this January. But that was because I tried to make too many changes during a time that I was already in high stress, I quit drinking smoking and benzos all within too short of a time frame. Now I let myself have a beer here and there because I am not an alchoholic, and I smoke herbs (not the illegal kind or even really the kind that give you a buzz) and it kind of balances things out. the benzos were probably the cause. Aversion of stress isn't necessarily the solution. I know you have to be ready, but I have come to have more acceptance where I just realize, for me retreating to bed is just making things worse. I have to get on with my life. Its kind of like missing a night of sleep and then having to work anyway. Its not so bad if you go through the motions and stay busy. I am unemployed right now too by the way and am hoping to get back to work soon. But for now I just need to stay out of bed and stay busy.


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

wakinglife28 said:


> ug. thats too bad that you weren't ready to work K. Like thid said its completelly possible to recover.I had it in 2008 and recovered for quite awhile before it started bothering me seriouslly this January. But that was because I tried to make too many changes during a time that I was already in high stress, I quit drinking smoking and benzos all within too short of a time frame. Now I let myself have a beer here and there because I am not an alchoholic, and I smoke herbs (not the illegal kind or even really the kind that give you a buzz) and it kind of balances things out. the benzos were probably the cause. Aversion of stress isn't necessarily the solution. I know you have to be ready, but I have come to have more acceptance where I just realize, for me retreating to bed is just making things worse. I have to get on with my life. Its kind of like missing a night of sleep and then having to work anyway. Its not so bad if you go through the motions and stay busy. I am unemployed right now too by the way and am hoping to get back to work soon. But for now I just need to stay out of bed and stay busy.


i guess i have just been really down lately, i just never hear how people fully recover and it never come back, that is what i would love, but that is life. and your right completely laying around isnt going to make it better, im getting ready to start another job (lol already) but im going to suck it up and do it. i decided i would try my prozac again today (i had a bad reaction to it the first few times) and i will NOT be taking it anymore. it just makes me feel deal. my derealazation seems to almost be completely gone, now i just have to work on my dp. but when i get down i just keep telling myself this isnt harming me and i can get out this. i just need to get out of this cycle "i want to do that after im out of dp" then i think what the fuck? i just need to do it, like im obsessed with make up, and hair stuff, love it. and i havent done any of it sense i have had dp (3 months now) but you know, im doing good for 3 months in. some dont get to where i am until longer i have heard. but everyone is different. i need to stop coming on this site to much, its so addicting. but thank you guys so much for all your support it means alot. your all great people, and i hope we all can have a full complete recover. it is possible.


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