# DP - Constant vision/focus/brain fog?



## Harmonic (Jan 16, 2009)

Hey guys,

I've been going all over the place with what is going on with me.. been going on for 2years at least. The biggest thing that bothers me aside from no interest in anything, being a hermit and so on  -- Is my vision.

It is almost impossible to describe, but it is like everything is flickering a little, or slightly moving a bit. Like looking at this text I am writing doesn't really seem to be bouncing around, but it is hard to concentrate on even though it seems like I am seeing it 'properly'. Like I can read a few words and have no idea what I read,.. can't hold anything in my memory.. short term memory is rediculous and so on..

But back to vision:

I have sensitivity to lights.. sunlight, etc.

I see halo's around lights at night, starbursts, etc. People's faces and such seem not as 'clear'. But not in a way that indicates glaucoma or some major eye illness. I wish it were that simple.

It is debilitating to me.. I can't focus to finish college, to work, and so on. I can physically feel a 'fog' in my brain. It literally feels like I am brain damaged, and just feel retarded. Although my IQ is there, I can rationally process information, I just can't work with it in the short term like I should be able to.. and this is a constant 24/7 thing.

An example: Going into a grocery store is a huge thing. I'm walking down the aisles and I just can't focus on anything, .. it is like it is all too much input, just blurring boxes and labels going by.

My vision tends to want to zone out all the time as well, but it is as if I can never quite get it to focus back in 100%. The whole way the world looks and all of that is scary enough, but having troubles with my 'MENTAL' ability .. reading, thinking, remembering and so on is a huge concern for me.

Is this typical of DP? Or does this sound like something else?

I shift from thinking, it is constant anxiety just causing all of this even if it has been a very long time.. Or depression, or both. Then I think, maybe I have some physical thing going on -- or maybe both. Then I think about DP/DR and I'm not sure I 'fit' that or not. Is my visual chronic symptom(s) typical of DR/DP or not really?

Another example:

Horizontal and Vertical lines make the 'movement' really apparent. If I look out my window to the house across the street, and look at their venetian blinds (open) *in sun light*, they look like they are vibrating. IE: It would be impossible to count the actual slats. Same deal with patterns.. oriental rugs and such seem to just not hold 'still'.

This isn't like I am seeing things that aren't there.. IE: Hallucinations.. pigs flying, snakes crawling in the wall (even the subtle hallucinations).. it is more of a flicker/jumpy movement.

I am so desperate to get this 'fixed'... I feel I am forever doomed with this seeming lowering of my ability and it makes little sense.

History -- for the past 5-6 years I have had a problem with prescription pain killers, and that I'm sure has something to do with things.. but no permanent type of damage is supposed to occur with things like that. (Other than to your liver on some occasions).

The present -- I stopped the painkillers Dec. 27th. I also stopped caffeine then.. 'why not?' -- I stopped smoking a week ago,.. 'why not?' (Have smoked for 15 years at least).

So I know my stress levels are jacked but still nothing seems to change from day to day. And, it isn't that I want DP/DR to join the club, but once you know what something is you can then tackle it. As of now I am chasing my tail.. thinking it is just a huge mystery that will likely be written off to mental disorder 'psychosomatic'.. which is sort of what DP/DR is. Nonetheless it is treatable.

Sorry for the ramble, but just curious about the vision, and just not being able to focus/brain fog in a chronic state for any of you?

Thanks,


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## letsgetbetter (May 29, 2008)

Yeah this stuff is normal for DP sufferers. I definitely had the wobbly horizontals and verticals and flickery pattern business and major brain fog. If you think you have DP, read some of the accounts of people who have it and see if their descriptions ring true with your experience. When I stumbled across this site and read what people were describing I knew EXACTLY what they meant in a way I could never have if I hadn't been experiencing DP. But remember it's also normal for people with DP to constantly ruminate upon and question what it is that's actually wrong with them.....is it brain disease? am i going mad? am i just depressed? AND THIS DOESN'T HELP!!! Providing there is nothing physically wrong with you which I'm sure there isn't then you just need to try to stop focussing on these weird feelings and start nudging yourself back into living a healthy, active, social and productive life.


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## Harmonic (Jan 16, 2009)

Thanks for the reply...

The vision thing is what worries me the most, because of the inability to concentrate and read... That has major implications on your 'productivity' .. sort of like having a 'stroke' but you didn't.. and don't know when it is going to end.

Did your vision crap go away? What happened to cause it to go away? Lessened anxiety? etc? Medication?


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Years ago I had major problems with my vision - all kinds of disturbances. This was actually before I had DP/DR, but was still related to my anxiety.

If it is anxiety or DP/DR related it will absolutely go away as you start getting better. Might as well go to an eye doctor and rule out anything physical for peace of mind. But my guess is they find nothing and that this goes away on its own.


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## Harmonic (Jan 16, 2009)

Comforting advice.. amazing (if this is mental) how this can be produced for such a long period of time in a chronic state... if it ever clears up I will be amazed.


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## Bosko (Nov 9, 2007)

ive had dp for year and a bit, nd ive just started to develp like a problem with my vision. its hard to explain like u said but i see something happen, for example a quick graphic on the news and it feels like its popping out the tv. its fucked and is scaring me alot. i look at something and its like i cant stop repeating it inside my head and i feel like im reliving it, going insane.  this just gets worse and worse for me sometimes i have to laff at hoe fucked up i am, i wonder whats next, probably AIDS knowing my luck :lol:


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## hurricane12 (May 22, 2008)

when i close my eyes i cant even visualize where im at its just blank with static


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## brandon (Aug 15, 2004)

I know exactly what you are saying about vision. Sunlights and camera flashes kill me. Also when I go to a large store (grocery, home depot) it seems like sensory overload and my mind just get hazy and my vision is blurred too. I cant look people in the eyes or up close. If I am looking at someone I have to make my eyes see double. For some reason I cant concentrate on what people are saying if I look directly at them. Maybe it is my insecurity of having them look me in the eyes but if I blur and see them double I can listen to what they are saying.


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## letsgetbetter (May 29, 2008)

So basically the answer is yes, this is normal with DP, yes it will go away as you recover and you should try to stop worrying about it. You can do this by diverting your thoughts and attention elsewhere every time you find yourself worrying.


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## dalispirit (Feb 1, 2009)

This describes me to a T. is there any medication that can help... :shock:


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## usedtobe (Sep 8, 2007)

I have the same problems. You did a very good job describing them.

The way I describe street lights at night with the "halo effect" is like I am seeing the world through they eyes of someone who has been in a pool with to much chlorine.

I just want to be normal and happy.


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## skullasylum (Jan 27, 2009)

Things don't bounce around for me but I do have vision issues. Mine is everything seems incredibly far away even when it is right in front of me. Things within arms length seem considerable out of reach. It's almost like I'm ten feet back inside my head.

Brain fog and forgetfulness is definitely there. I'm a note fanatic now. I write down everything and have it all synced so if I write a note at work it's transfered home and also onto my iPod so I always have my notes.

I can't focus thoughts either or picture anything which makes life hard as an artist. My creativity has nearly flat-lined so I have to try extra hard for creativity, covering my desk in inspiring art from others is the only way to keep from staring at the wall and not doing a thing all day.

I often drive home and can't remember the drive. I remember getting in my car and next thing I know is I'm pulling into my driveway. That always freaks me out. How do I get home? No clue.


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## Absentis (Jul 10, 2007)

dalispirit said:


> This describes me to a T. is there any medication that can help... :shock:


Same here. I've never been able to describe the symptoms properly, but methylphenidate works great for me. In particular I like Concerta since it lasts all day. Concerta is pretty much the only reason I'm making it through university right now.

I highly recommend it. A++++ would take again.


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## KJameson1959 (Dec 10, 2009)

"Horizontal and Vertical lines make the 'movement' really apparent. If I look out my window to the house across the street, and look at their venetian blinds (open) *in sun light*, they look like they are vibrating. IE: It would be impossible to count the actual slats. Same deal with patterns.. oriental rugs and such seem to just not hold 'still'."

OH my GOD. I can't believe I am reading this right now. I want to cry, I want to laugh. I was going to post about my vision problems but I don't need to now. This pretty much sums it up.

Ok, first off, what is WITH the f***ing RUGS ?

There is a rug on our bathroom floor by the toilet, and every time I use the restroom, if I look down at that damned rug I swear the designs on it are moving or "waving" kind of, like flickering back and forth. Vertical blinds do it to me, and so do patterns on things. Like my pajama pants with polka dots on them, I hate to wear because the dots move on their own in my peripheral vision.


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## IQ (Mar 20, 2007)

KJameson1959 said:


> "Horizontal and Vertical lines make the 'movement' really apparent. If I look out my window to the house across the street, and look at their venetian blinds (open) *in sun light*, they look like they are vibrating. IE: It would be impossible to count the actual slats. Same deal with patterns.. oriental rugs and such seem to just not hold 'still'."
> 
> OH my GOD. I can't believe I am reading this right now. I want to cry, I want to laugh. I was going to post about my vision problems but I don't need to now. This pretty much sums it up.
> 
> ...


I have exactly the same thing. Curtains used to scare the crap out of me.


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## Angela2006 (Jan 20, 2006)

I have the same thing. The first thing I noticed was that the color red stood out like it was three - dementional. Very weird. I can't wear red clothes because it drives me crazy!


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## Tim (Jul 17, 2009)

Yea I get this like crazy. I hate reading because the damn letters won't sit still, I sometimes can't tell if the curtains are being blown by a breeze or if it's just me, and the whole rug thing. But does anybody have it so that the entire room moves? I sometimes feel like I'm in a small boat and my whole line of vision slowly moves up and down.


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## KJE33 (Nov 11, 2009)

I totally agree!!! especially in grocery stores like you said or even in any department store I feel like I can't physically process everything I'm seeing and almost like it hurts. And it is really stressful. It makes my head feel heavy almost and more fogged over. My girlfriend likes to go to the mall sometimes but I can't be there for too long or I get really worn out from trying to physically keep track of everything and even people who walk by I feel like I can't truly connect visually with their faces. Thats what is most frustrating about DP to me is that it feels almost entirely visual. Like if I switched my contacts it might just go away, If only haha


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## KJE33 (Nov 11, 2009)

Also...when talking to people, like as been stated several times here, I also can't focus on their face which makes me tend to not focus on the conversation at all. I just kinda day dream like several times wile having the conversation. And it bugs me to look people in the eye because they almost look like double vision. I do have to say that it is comforting to hear some other people feeling this same way. I feel much less crazy now haha


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## hailiegh2 (Apr 29, 2009)

that is exactly how i feel. my vision is definitely what bothers me the most. its all just too much for my eyes. you describe exactly how i feel. being in a supermarket especially bothers me, and driving its like looking at a video game. has anyone found anything that helps?? i cant take much more


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## Tim (Jul 17, 2009)

This is why I disagree with people who's "dp solution" is to just not think about it..
I can be completly positive and then walk into a long hallway full of people or some bright room and the anxiety just comes back instantly when I see a visual disturbance, and those everyday places are hard to avoid. Hell I get it on just a really sunny day, or at dusk. I can't live in my room :? 
Plus I also get negative afterimages and I see trails constantly, so avoiding it is soundly impossible. And that's what my dr lives off of.


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## aapje (Aug 26, 2009)

I have the same exact thing when entering a store for example. All visual information just seems to much to process, and I tend to focus on things I normally would not. It also makes people sort of blend in with the other info. I also sometimes get a sort of shocking motion in my vision that scares the shit out of me. I'm sometimes afraid I won't be able to drive a car anymore. The stupid thing is people don't even notice you acting different or anything.


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## jay2008 (Nov 6, 2007)

Tim,

Couldn't agree with you more. I can distract myself until I have to change environments or spend anytime in bright sunlight or any store, office, etc. *sight*...it's tough, hang in there.



Tim said:


> This is why I disagree with people who's "dp solution" is to just not think about it..
> I can be completly positive and then walk into a long hallway full of people or some bright room and the anxiety just comes back instantly when I see a visual disturbance, and those everyday places are hard to avoid. Hell I get it on just a really sunny day, or at dusk. I can't live in my room :?
> Plus I also get negative afterimages and I see trails constantly, so avoiding it is soundly impossible. And that's what my dr lives off of.


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## KJameson1959 (Dec 10, 2009)

aapje said:


> I have the same exact thing when entering a store for example. All visual information just seems to much to process, and I tend to focus on things I normally would not. It also makes people sort of blend in with the other info. I also sometimes get a sort of shocking motion in my vision that scares the shit out of me. I'm sometimes afraid I won't be able to drive a car anymore. The stupid thing is people don't even notice you acting different or anything.


The "shocking" motion is the shit that scares me the most. I wake up every day, and tell myself I am not going to think about this shit. Then the towel hanging on the bar in the bathroom will start vibrating, or the digital clock on my coffemaker will start flashing when I look at it. It's hard just to "no think about it" when the visual disturbances are so weird.


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## dezao (Nov 30, 2012)

My God!!
I have trouble with vertical/horizontal lines!!

Someone knows how to stop that???
Supplements? Time?


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## RaRa (Sep 18, 2017)

I don't know if the original poster is still around but I found this thread highly relatable. I have all these symptoms as well and have been wondering if they belong in the DP/DR bucket or not. So perhaps these symptoms are just DP doing its strange little thing in our brain. I especially struggle with the persistent far away gazing and double vision whenever I remotely relax. Ughh it's the worst symptoms out of the all of the ones that I've had. Has anyone found any relief in this regard with anything in particular? I am currently actively doing eye exercises recommended to me for the double vision, and it helps a tiny bit, but not very much. But hey, I'll take a little help over nothing at all.


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