# The answer



## Guest

I got DP/DR/ANXIETY DISORDER induced by very potent marijuana, I've been suffering almost 3 months now...
In the start, it was horrible, laid on the couch shaking,sweating,feeling I was dying/going schizophrenic constantly for days...
After a few weeks I found this site, it helped, and I immediatly were sure this was what I was suffering from...
Had all this crazy thoughts about the universe and existens etc.
I thought about it nonstop, quit school, never go out with friends or have a good time ever anymore.
This shit basically destroyd my whole life within weeks.

As weeks passed by, I kicked my self in the face and said "OK, now your 17, your life can't be over yet" 
I pickedup information here, from others suffering that I know of, etc.
The answer is basically not thinking about it.
Just by stopping concentrating about it I went from having 4fullblown panic attacks a day to having 3-4 a week.
This is because, I think so much less about it...
What I have learnd from my experience is that while having DP/DR you really think nothing but bad about your future, you tell your self "i'll never be better, I'll never recover" so you tell your mind to stay in the condition and it obeys.
Ofcourse no one would chose to do that, but still they do, subconciously.
By setting goals for the week and accomplishing them, you see your able to do things, as you've always has been, but forgot about when u got DP/DR.

We gotta think of DP/DR as a beast, a beast you feed with your thoughts.
Everytime we think of anything related to our condition, we give it a big cheeseburger with fries.
Now what we gotta do is to starve it, to death, never pay it attention.
While in DP/DR condition, life seems pointless, we think "my life ain't worth shit" cuz I'm really not part of it.
Thats where we gotta make a change, if things can't be worse, let's just make them better.
Say "FUCK DP" it's my life, I won't let this shit ruin it.
Having hardcore DP/DR gotta be worse than dying, I can't imagine anything worse than going through DP/DR fullblown.
So we have really been chased by demons in hell, wtf are we afraid of?
We're still alive, we manage to keep on living, we're hero's, we gotta give us self credit for that.
If I could go 2-3 weeks totally without thinking about it, I think I'd be recoverd, what you think?

7 most important things to regain reality:

#1 NEVER pay it attention
#2 NEVER talk to people about your condition
#3 NEVER give up
#4 Make plans and goals and accomplish them and give your self credit when you do.
#5 KNOW your stronger than DP, that DP is really there because your forcing it to stay by not "letting go of it"
#6 Keep busy, do things you used to like
#7 Exercise (actually helps)

Hope this helps=)


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## chiara

yes all of what you say about this shitty state of mind is true..if you dont feed it , it eventually fades to a bad memory..

I never did drugs and took no medication for this condition which for me was probably brought on by depression, existanal thoughts ,anxiety and panic (agoraphobia etc etc etc)

I would like to add to your list that you must FORCE yourself to do things rather than avoid them.

Your list is right and everything I did to help me. Maybe I did talk about it a bit with others but I stopped cause I would basically not be understood.

Im alot older than you but I havent had this for years and years..just THROUGHOUT the years in spurts, a few months at a time and usually at stressful times.

If you dont keep harping on it all the time eventually your brain gets reprogrammed and things are much better. Its a state of mind not some kind of brain damage.

I actually went to a funeral the other day and was doing the comforting instead of being the one whos head was about to burst of her shoulders from sheer panic, thoughts etc..I was very calm, kind of scared me to be so calm!


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## Guest

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## Guest

Great to hear your doing better=)
I know how it is, I try to explain my parents, I talk about it daily cuz Im going throug hit daily, but they can't understand at all.
It has gotten to the point where their sick of it.
I can understand it, but it makes me so mad when their like "all you ever talk about is this".
I've said it's like being dead, feeling nothing, seein' 2Dvision, so when they tell me "it's all you ever talk about" it makes me wanna smack 'em down, cuz WTF they expect when your on a 24/7 bad acid trip without takin' any drugs.
It's like they don't take it serious, and think your just saying it like others say after a long days work "my body is finished" like a metaphor, except we really MEAN it...
They can't help you, you can only help your self....

I think it's all a mix between: anxiety of death, existance, "the unknown" and all the useless information our brains get pollutioned with everyday.
Instead of wishing to be "normal", we gotta act normal, and eventually be totally normal again...

By thinking "I WANNA BE NORMAL" you remind your mind that your "not".
It's like if you think: "I GOT CANCER; I GOT HEARTDISEASE, I'M PSYCHO, I'M MANICALLY DEPRESSED, I GOT EVERY DISEASE POSSIBLE," everyday, you'll eventually become hypochondriac.
I'm not saying we're hypo, but the basics the same.
If someone gives you a bottle of vodka, without alcohol, just essence, and you drink it all, you'll act drunk, feel drunk and really think your drunk.
Cause it's the placebo effect, it's the same here.
It's like, when we feel better, more attatched to reality, it kinda freaks us out since it's no longer normal so the first thing we think "OH, what happend to DP" and that brings it back in minutes...=\
This is what I'm going to focus on daily from now on, I'm gonna beat this bitch...

You know in the morning , when you wake up and is totally "lost", the first thing you think is "am I still feeling this way?" that brings it back...

Bit of motivation for you all: 
Everyone who's been through serious anxiety/panic/dp and has gotten out of it all says the same: they feel better than ever, even before their anxiety, cause they've been through some of the worst shit possible you can ever go through, so it has done them stronger,braver and happier than ever...even before suffering from this conditions...
Most of them actually consider it a "gift" going through this, as when they come out on the otherside, they feel so much better than ever, so motivated to do things, etc.etc.
This motivates me to keep on fighting, I want to feel that too=)

We deserve it, so let's get it

Q: has anyone of you also VERY bad shortterm memory? is this a sideeffect from DP?


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## zhqhqn

you are right that we are heroes. if the others could know and understand the real weight of the things that we've survived it would be stuff for the history books.


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## dpdpaulson

Good advice, mentally ill. I obsess over this way too much, almost like I OWE it to the "illness" to think about it or something. Not true. My best times are when I let it slip behind me and poke my head through so to speak. That's when you realize what a preoccupation you've made it.

About memory, here's a link I made at another site with lots of other links to articles relating memory, focus, and anxiety. Definately a connection.

Cognitive Impairment

Have a good one,

Greg


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## alphaman

Dr/Dp is hell on earth, worse than death you express that very well.

Much like extreme physical torture...in which apparently death would be a pleasant relief.

I must say that confiding in a couple of others when I hit a nervous DR crisis last year was an important part of my healing process. 
I think for some 'bearers' (I won't use the word victim) - emotional shame and detachment is a big issue.

You need at least one person with which you are totally visible and not hidden I think. The darkest secrets out in the open, including being half insane. I think so anyway. We need unconditional love and acceptance. The burdens can be immense otehrwise,,,,soul destroying.



MentallyIll said:


> I got DP/DR/ANXIETY DISORDER induced by very potent marijuana, I've been suffering almost 3 months now...
> In the start, it was horrible, laid on the couch shaking,sweating,feeling I was dying/going schizophrenic constantly for days...
> After a few weeks I found this site, it helped, and I immediatly were sure this was what I was suffering from...
> Had all this crazy thoughts about the universe and existens etc.
> I thought about it nonstop, quit school, never go out with friends or have a good time ever anymore.
> This silly* basically destroyd my whole life within weeks.
> 
> As weeks passed by, I kicked my self in the face and said "OK, now your 17, your life can't be over yet"
> I pickedup information here, from others suffering that I know of, etc.
> The answer is basically not thinking about it.
> Just by stopping concentrating about it I went from having 4fullblown panic attacks a day to having 3-4 a week.
> This is because, I think so much less about it...
> What I have learnd from my experience is that while having DP/DR you really think nothing but bad about your future, you tell your self "i'll never be better, I'll never recover" so you tell your mind to stay in the condition and it obeys.
> Ofcourse no one would chose to do that, but still they do, subconciously.
> By setting goals for the week and accomplishing them, you see your able to do things, as you've always has been, but forgot about when u got DP/DR.
> 
> We gotta think of DP/DR as a beast, a beast you feed with your thoughts.
> Everytime we think of anything related to our condition, we give it a big cheeseburger with fries.
> Now what we gotta do is to starve it, to death, never pay it attention.
> While in DP/DR condition, life seems pointless, we think "my life ain't worth silly*" cuz I'm really not part of it.
> Thats where we gotta make a change, if things can't be worse, let's just make them better.
> Say "flower* DP" it's my life, I won't let this silly* ruin it.
> Having hardcore DP/DR gotta be worse than dying, I can't imagine anything worse than going through DP/DR fullblown.
> So we have really been chased by demons in hell, wtf are we afraid of?
> We're still alive, we manage to keep on living, we're hero's, we gotta give us self credit for that.
> If I could go 2-3 weeks totally without thinking about it, I think I'd be recoverd, what you think?
> 
> 7 most important things to regain reality:
> 
> #1 NEVER pay it attention
> #2 NEVER talk to people about your condition
> #3 NEVER give up
> #4 Make plans and goals and accomplish them and give your self credit when you do.
> #5 KNOW your stronger than DP, that DP is really there because your forcing it to stay by not "letting go of it"
> #6 Keep busy, do things you used to like
> #7 Exercise (actually helps)
> 
> Hope this helps=)


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## Matt210

MI,

Seems like you have a very good grasp of things - and it didn't take you long to get a good grasp on things which is a very good sign.

The memory is normal with DP/DR - just try not to focus to much on it, it will get better with the DP/DR.

A few things I want to say that I wish I was told at your stage. I also felt I had a grasp of DP/DR really early, and began to recover quickly. I used all the same steps as you.

I just want to stress for you to NOT just brush it under the carpet. Now this is a tricky one to describe -- because I am in no way saying to focus on your DP either - you are 100% right that DP/DR feeds off your thoughts towards it - and the way to beat it is not to think about.

What I didn't do in ignoring mine was come to terms with it. In a way during my first few recovery periods - the fact that I had suffered with this seemed unreal to me, as if it didn't happen. It is VERY hard to even imagine what it was like to have DP when you are fully recovered.

I didn't do a good job of fully understanding WHY this had happened to me - and think about the preventative measures needed to prevent it from happening again.

My mind took the bait again, and I relapsed....

So yes - in summary - focus outwards, don't feed your DP - but at the same time come to terms with it and accept it. Recovery awaits you if you can do this. Good luck = ) . Keep us posted.[/i]


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## Guest

Hey thanks for the replies.
I appreciate=)

And yes Matt210 I really understand what you mean... When I one day started to feel "back at Earth" I was like; "MAN, you've been trippin', it never really happend anything, you just fooled yourself, so it will never happen"
So again I just turned to my weed which I love waaay toomuch...
It took about 5minutes into the cannabis buzz before I started asking the same stupid questions, feeling just as unattatched to "MY LIFE" and fuckedup.
I was back, but managed to "recover" again...
Now I feel better than I have since I got DP/DR I think, I've quit the weed and live a more healty life.
Now what makes me so scared is the feeling when I wake up in the morning, I'm like "woooow, wtf is this? am I in my room? or am I dead? Why can I see out my eyes" and everything is foggy, like if u got something in your eye and everything is blurred.
I can't move for like the first 5 seconds, and after slapping myself in the safe and going to the bath washing my face with icecold water I'm "back".
Now what scares me is that this is the feeling I had everyday while havin' fullblown dp/dr...
I just don't get it, it's just from the second I open my eyes 'til I'm somewhat awake...

Anyone got any idea why this is happening? am I going in a relapse, and will just wake up tomorrow or a day soon being fully dp/dr again?


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## ScorpioFlame

The dr. put me on lexapro about 2 months ago it's helped my d/p a little bit maybe like 25%. But it's still there. I know i need to let it go, and i try but it just doesnt work. I'm sure you all know but it is the most horrific god awful terrible feeling that i have EVER felt in my whole entire life. I will never go through something like this again. I think i'm having such a hard time letting it go cause i'm scared that it wont go away. if anyone understood that. I mean what if it never gets normal, i dont want to live my life like this. It's turned my like into a living hell. I wish i could wave a magic wand and POOF make it be back to normal. But i cant so i dont know what to do.


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## Xu

During my initial skimming, this was the first thread I read. And I'm quite impressed by MentallyIll's matter-of-fact way of looking at the matter.

I was actually skeptical and thought "The answer, yeah, sure.. it'll just be some bull that works for one person and nobody else..." and now you've made me feel bad for being all negative :mrgreen:

"I wish i could wave a magic wand and POOF make it be back to normal. But i cant so i dont know what to do."
Isn't that so true...
I had a sort of breakthrough tonight, but I don't know if I've actually changed any.. yet..

How are you doing, Mental?


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## euphony

i'm glad these DP forums exist. i'm having a mother of it kicking my butt yet again as of the last couple of weeks. the days are long, hard, and pretty surreal at times. the only one of MentallyIll's points i have to slightly take issue with is that talking with people about it can really help you out. MIND YOU...making sure they are close friends who will understand you is important. as has been stated, it's a hard pill for some to swallow...luckily i have friends that also have bouts of depression, OCD, bipolar, etc...they understand that detached feelings are just part of the routine sometimes. getting out your frustrations and your most pent up thoughts is cathartic with the right people to listen 

keep fighting and stay focused!


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## seta_

Thanks for this, the "OK, now your 17, your life can't be over yet" part was inspirational 
I hope we all find peace. Believe it will get better and eventually go.


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