# Derealization - How I Got Better Once!



## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Derealization is the main symptom of my Anxiety. It's truly debilitating. I've had this problem for almost 18 years non-stop. I know that it can be overcome because it happened to me one time as a teenager and I overcame it. I stared at one object in my room for 45 minutes straight. I did this to intentionally try to concentrate on something else besides my Anxiety. It actually worked. I calmed right down to a normal state of mind. The Derealization and Dizziness went away in an instant as if someone flicked a switch.

I've tried it since but have not had the patience to do it for as long. I also feel in the back of my mind that it would not work twice. But in all reality I may be wrong. If it worked once... then I should be trying non-stop to get it to work again. Maybe I've just got so used to the feeling that I have given up on it ever going away. I realize that's not the attitude to have though. I think I'm going to keep trying.

The trick is to focus on something else besides yourself. When focusing inward our anxiety gets worse. But focusing outward on something else will help.

Good Luck to us all. I know first hand that we CAN get better... INSTANTLY!

John


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## Guest (Jan 21, 2005)

18 years eh...shit. Yeah, i stare are my computer screen for 5 or so hours a day and it helps a bit. I like to consider it an escape from my reality...and my reality is crap. I think we have to confront derealization head-on.


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## rob (Aug 22, 2004)

which object did you stare at?

rob


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

I had a Bumper sticker in my room. That's the object I stared at for 45 minutes to make my DP go away. I don't even think it matters what the object is as long as it's something to take your mind off the anxiety for an extended period of time.

I've learned that doing this is very different then just looking at something as a distraction. I can watch TV or spend hours on the computer and it doesn't make the DP go away.

You have to do my little "Stare Trick" in a quiet house with no distractions. The morning I did it was nice and relaxing. Nobody was home. I had a window open on a Beautiful warm day. I may have heard some birds but that's about it. Nothing stressful. That's the Key. Then I just stared at this Bumper Sticker. Then I walked into the kitchen and BAMN! Everything was back to normal. I actually said out loud...."WOH.... I'M NOT DIZZY ANYMORE! This was after a four month bout of DP.

So something about concentrating on one solid object for so long got my brain to relax to a normal resting point.

John


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## nemesis (Aug 10, 2004)

I think what you were actually doing was meditating.


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Well I've had no training in how to meditate and I never looked at doing that as meditation. However perhaps you are right. Maybe I was doing a form of meditation without even realizing it.

Damn.... then we all should be learning how to meditate then. It may actually cure most of us.

John


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I will warn you all about meditation.

It very much varies, and none so delicate a topic it is as on this site. Seriously. Kind of like breathing excercises help most non-dp'd people, but some of us cannot benefit from breathing excercises because a) they focus on the body (as Janine once pointed out, when she told me why she didn't prefer them) and b) many of our anxieties are rooted in the unconscious from early childhood situations and cannot be fixed by breathing in any sort of way (not even by the stopping of breathing...because once you pass out from it you breathe again! J/K)

Well, with meditation, one person with milder anxieties can find a lot of relaxation in it, but maybe another person is already so involved with self-monitoring that meditation would induce anxiety (yes it involves a certain kind of outward focus, but for some people it's not necessarily the right kind of distraction.) Some people have acquired DP through meditation because of anxiety problems they had earlier on in their lives.

So...it is a nice post you made here, and it does help, but I urge everybody to talk to one of the recovered people/"experts" on this site before doing such a thing. In other words--- flood Janine's mailbox with useless meditation questions!  she'll love it...seriously...she's all new age like that


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## Guest (Jan 24, 2005)

you stared at something for 45 minutes and your DR/DP went away?

Am I the only person who finds this absolutely HILARIOUS?


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## dreamcatcher (Sep 23, 2004)

i stare at this screen for about 45 mins a day if not more.....why the hell have i still got dp??????? :?:

i wish mine would go away by doing that......but i suppose different things work for different people


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Kari said:


> you stared at something for 45 minutes and your DR/DP went away?
> 
> Am I the only person who finds this absolutely HILARIOUS?


 I don't care how hilarious you find it. It's the truth. Perhaps the fact that you have such a closed mind is one of the reasons you are stuck in DP hell.

I just find it funny that someone comes here with a true story that could help people and you shoot it down like it doesn't matter. I have no reason to lie. I'm not selling anything. I'm telling you what happened.

I may be hilarious to you... but you are looking SAD to me. Speak up Son and tell me what's so funny?

John


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## Chris (Jan 5, 2005)

Simmer down kids


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## Phill (Sep 27, 2004)

Gee, what a thread!


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

skynet, pay no attention to the threads critisizing you. I can completely understand how what you did made your dp go away for a little while. You'll learn soon enough on this board there there are a few select people that its best just to ignore. Feel free to continue to add your input. The majority of us really appreciate reading about everyones experiences and tips on how they deal with the dp and anxiety.


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Trust me. I'm not going anywhere based on that exchange. I have sympathy for the mentally disadvantaged. So I hope that person sticks around and learns a thing or two. 

John


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## JasonFar (Aug 13, 2004)

Give me a break. No offense, but there is something called skepticsm -- SkyNet's post is about as humorous as seeing a seal getting clubbed -- and, let me tell you, that's hilarious!

No, but really, I'm not taking sides, but c'mon... As for "DP" as a particular symptom, I suppose staring at a wall for 45 minutes could take you out of the sort of sensation that you are, well, dp'd.... maybe.

I think if you're actually thinking along the lines of "if I do this, I could get cured", it's just a form of magical thinking.

Say this is the case -- DP is a result of emotional trauma, of a Self that has been buried for several years, of wants/desires going unknown, repressed, and unsought out.... Of a Self that has no ability to recognize its value of Life and its right to its existence. (additional psychobabble goes here)... I know a lot of people here either don't think DP/DR is the result of a massively complex and twisted psyche or don't even possess the ability to question this due to the severity of symptoms, but my case has proved true that, well, it is. 

I only thought to post because though it might have been harsh responding to Skynet's post the way they did, Skynet's "mentally disadvantaged" response was equally as harsh for someone showing totally justified skepticism over a strategy that may very well be bogus in some senses.

I personally think in most cases people here would be better of finding the right meds and therapy, perhaps, rather than staring at a wall for 45 minutes. Perhaps.


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## Guest (Jan 25, 2005)

Thanks Jason. That's exactly what I was thinking. DP/DR is incredibly complex and I doubt that staring at something for 45 minutes is going to cure a god damn anything.

Oh and I love your signature. <3 Modest Mouse.


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Ok.. well let's see if we can do this without bashing.

When I stared at something for 45 minutes I believe that the intense concentration distracted my brain from my usual scary thoughts just long enough to actually return to a normal resting state. Perhaps a form of meditation as discussed earlier.

DP is basicly having a chronic state of arousal and hypersensitivity. If we can just calm our brains down long enough we can unstick the switch to get back to normal. People with DP have brains that are stuck in the high position. Takes a lot to unstick the state of mind to return to normal, but I DID IT. I did it as explained.

Now you can be skeptical, you can be a smart ass, or you can choose to be intelligent and open up your mind and say...... HEY, this guy did something that actually WORKED. So unless you actually try it for yourself..... then don't discredit me. It doesn't take Money to do what I did. It doesn't take any special tools to do what I did. You don't even need to buy anything. Just try it for yourself. Look and Concentrate on one thing for about 45 minutes. Yes it takes patience.... but that's all you'll need.

Don't come back and tell me that you watched TV or looked at the computer for 45 minutes and nothing happened. THAT WON'T WORK. What I did was different. Just sit in a chair and stair at ONE THING with no distractions in the room. Must be quiet and free of Noise.

After you do it then come here and tell me what your result was. Even if it doesn't work for some... It just may work for you. So don't let the experience of others stop you from doing it. YOU NEED TO TRY IT YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT.

thanks,

John


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Now you see ...... ZiggomatiX has the right idea. She chose to stare at a Guys Butt for 45 minutes and then she even had someone take pictures to document! Now you've got the right idea!!! Hope it worked for you! lol ;-)

John


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## JasonFar (Aug 13, 2004)

Skynet,

What you fail to realize is when she got home she cocked a loaded shotgun in her mouth and said so long to this cruel, discriminatory world where people who look as if they've eaten several other people don't get the respect they deserve to eat.


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## Guest (Jan 26, 2005)

skynet,

you know absolutely nothing about me, my intelligence, or how open/closed my mind is. to be honest with you, i think you're being close minded with your out of hand defensive behavior. great, staring at something for 45 minutes cured you, that's great for you. but I think it's a load of crap and here's the great part about NOT being you OR sharing the same opinions as you do: i don't have to think it's legit!! Wow, good thing we're all different, right?


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## Guest (Jan 26, 2005)

oh and, ziggo is a guy.


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## Guest (Jan 26, 2005)

and that obese woman is probably a very nice person given that she hasn't killed herself from the discrimination of shallow, close minded people.


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

Kari said:


> skynet,
> 
> staring at something for 45 minutes cured you, that's great for you. but I think it's a load of crap and here's the great part about NOT being you OR sharing the same opinions as you do: i don't have to think it's legit!! ?


 Ok... so you don't think it's legit. So I would come here and lie for no reason at all? Yeah that makes a lot of sense. So now You can also add a lack of common sense to everything else I said about you. You need to replace your light bulb. You don't seem to bright.

John


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

edited for the sake of janines pm box. :wink:


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I agree sleeping, my thoughts exactly. What happened with skynet is a result of meditation. This practice is very real and has very real effects. It's not some thing like "you're an idiot why would you stare at something for 45 minutes?" Think before you speak people. You might learn something.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

> Thanks Jason. That's exactly what I was thinking. DP/DR is incredibly complex and I doubt that staring at something for 45 minutes is going to cure a god damn anything.


Whatever Kari. He made a post, you had a really rude response to it. Maybe you were THINKING about how complex DP is but all that Ivory Tower pondering never made it to your keyboard. Instead you came off sounding like a bitch. Sorry, but that's just how I see it.

That's why he retaliated.

OKAY.

As someone who considers law school in my more drunken moments I feel I have crafted enough understanding of arguments to say the following:

Skynet:

I'm glad you made the post, positive experiences are good and I totally believe that method worked for you. Thank you for the postage.

Everyone else:

What skynet said cured him, cured HIM in ONE instance and might have also had to do with some of the stuff in his head clearing up at the same time. OTHER people on here have claimed cures from: therapy, sleep apnea treatments, a no-sugar diet, candida treatment, Paxil, art, etc.

I don't have candida, won't try Paxil, like art but not enough to have it suck the DP out of me. I also have a different life story than the people who found relief in those things. I have a different set of things that have helped me...mostly doing the things I fear, confronting people when I have a problem with them, being more impulsive and daring and not caring as much what people think. Those things help ME.

DP is many things and everyone's relief method stems from an aspect of DP:

skynet's method worked because it was a good outward focus and helped him relax.
Janine's method worked because she was a total nut--- whoops I mean because she had a lot of psychological reasons for her DP.
My method works because it's just what I do. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Other people on here have done it other ways. I have head that one person's faith in god kept her going until recovery. That wouldn't work for me because I'm a recovering atheist 8) and because I view God or the lack of on different terms than she does.

If you were to randomly sign on a messageboard, offer some advice you thought was helpful, and have the first replies be people scoffing at you and not believing you and telling you why your way was inferior, well you would feel pretty bad wouldn't you?

This is a bunch of bullshit.

I know we all are jaded from things such as the Linden method, but for fuck 's sake, that's no reason to immediately attack.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

also, meditation is just another way of outward focus for some people. we are all basically doing the same things to help ourselves: learning to be comfortable with ourselves, learning to focus outward, and learning about ourselves. Soemtimes we take some medicine to help.

But all of those things come in different forms. One person's use of football for outward focus is another person's meditation is another person's basketweaving or message board trolling. Just like one man's Paxil is another man's Zoloft. Paxil would never work for some but they benefit from Zoloft. Luvox wasn't that great for me and Charger did fine on it. (but also it was at a time when no anti-d would have helped). Basically just because someone is donig something that worked for them, doesn't mean it's entirely different from what you're doing. it could be the same person in a different dress.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

soul that's not blue lipstick on me it's blue eyeliner. The lipstick (pink) is between my eyelids and eyebrows. I have shimmer liquid eyeshadow all over my face.


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## Guest (Jan 27, 2005)

> I don't care how hilarious you find it. It's the truth. Perhaps the fact that you have such a closed mind is one of the reasons you are stuck in DP hell.


exactly :roll:


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## lone wolf (Aug 10, 2004)

I agree with sleepingbeauty (you shouldn't have erased your post, it was accurate), enngirl and person3 - meditation really can be helpful and thus skynet's advice was very good, as some people really may benefit from it.

I am one of those who has found meditation helpful, and find it really weird why some people find positive posts annoying. This message board has grown into a huge joke, if this kind of behaviour becomes a norm here. This is supposed to be a support forum, if I was right?

Indeed just like sleepingbeauty said in her post: "How *I* got better once" doesn't mean that everyone would surely benefit from the method, but the meaning of the post was to share one possibly helpful technique. I believe it really works, and I have thought to start meditation again after a long long break, just bc of skynet's post.

Kari and other trolls - might it be better to think before posting? IMO there are other places, where you can act as trollish as you can and get the attention you seem to need. This is not the place to do that.


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## Guest (Jan 27, 2005)

The nerve of some people. Esspecially those who do not even have DP, to come here and bash those who are only looking to help other people. It's a shame that people have to impose their misery on everyone else.


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## dreamcatcher (Sep 23, 2004)

if my comment offended anyone here i am sorry......i do stare at this screen alot during the day and no i know thats not what skynet meant..........as i corrected my original post and said different things work for different people......and any advice on recoverey whether temporary or permanent has to be a good thing.....any way welcome to the site skynet......dont let any of us here put you off coming in and stating your opinions


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## shadowness (Sep 12, 2004)

skynet74...

thank you for sharing what experience you have had...

i sat down and tried it myself the other day...unfortunately it did not help but it was worth a try...anything is worth a try when feeling like this...

i think it did not help me as i get more 'freaked out' with meditation/relaxation techniques and that is what it felt like...

but i am so glad it gave you a break from dp/dr...

i think people forget that everyone is very different...and what sounds ludicrous to one person can be the one thing that helps another...

just because dp/dr can be very complex does not mean something simple cannot help...


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## Guest (Jan 27, 2005)

well i think staring at something long enough does really work.the one and only time i came out of dpdr since ive had it i was swimming in a pool and staring at the light rays against the bottom of the pool.i didnt allow myself to open my eyes above water,only below, for about 10 minutes, and when i was sure i was back inside my body i came up, and sure enough i was.i just kind of willed myself back
i mean, it was truly amazing and it showed me that i do have power over what it going on and that i could bring myself back if i tried hard enough.
..but, of course it didn't last but a day.and now im still dpdr....i guess you have to will yourself back daily??


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## Skynet (Jan 21, 2005)

I think that's Incredible! Perhaps it's the best chance that many of us have to get back to reality. You and I have both done it! That definitely should not be overlooked. It appears that there must be something to it then. It's weird though. Even though it's worked for me before and there may be a good chance of it working again...... I am almost afraid to do it again because I think it might depress me to much if it didn't work a second time. Then I would REALLY feel stuck in DP hell. Isn't that weird for me to think like that?

I guess I have to stop doubting my own powers and just try it again. Your post has motivated me.

John


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## rob (Aug 22, 2004)

Skynet

Agree that there as many ways out of dp as there are ways in.

Agree too that retraining your mind to focus properly on reality could well be one of those ways out. Even the psychiatrists at the iop have mentioned refocussing exercises and techniques as a possible future research strategy.

The brain does physically change in response to training - ie repetetive exercises for a purpose - did you know that the part of the brain that deals with navigation is physically larger in London cab drivers than it is in the general population presumably because they spend all day navigating (not so as you's always notice mind).

If someone could come up with some good focus training software/neurofeedback gear I'd give it a go

As far as I'm concerned all ideas are welcome so please keep them coming no matter how daft they might seem to others

rob


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## Romans116 (Jun 20, 2006)

skynet74 said:


> Kari said:
> 
> 
> > you stared at something for 45 minutes and your DR/DP went away?
> ...


I understand exactly what your saying, i have done the same thing and just focused on things around me. I used to just say the colours of all the objects in my room whilst blocking out the "inward" thinking and it really helped. It brought me to a closer level to reality.
I think people should try this technique.
Another tip also is to pinch yourself for about 2 minutes and focus on the pain and block everything else out, this helps me A LOT. It should help D.R go away a bit more.


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## Romans116 (Jun 20, 2006)

paintmysoul said:


> well i think staring at something long enough does really work.the one and only time i came out of dpdr since ive had it i was swimming in a pool and staring at the light rays against the bottom of the pool.i didnt allow myself to open my eyes above water,only below, for about 10 minutes, and when i was sure i was back inside my body i came up, and sure enough i was.i just kind of willed myself back
> i mean, it was truly amazing and it showed me that i do have power over what it going on and that i could bring myself back if i tried hard enough.
> ..but, of course it didn't last but a day.and now im still dpdr....i guess you have to will yourself back daily??


Very intresting that you experienced comeing out of DR whilst being under water. I remember about 2 years ago when i was also swiming under water and could see the sun under the water, i can up and for 10 seconds i was completley normal. It was the BEST feeling in the world.


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