# DR/DP and Depression...



## Zephar (Mar 1, 2011)

Well, at this point my DR/DP are nearly gone, but things still feel very off and strange, I've been depressed for the last 6 years but I never really let it effect me much. But now that everything seems unreal (And I almost can't tell any more if it still feels unreal technically or if I have somehow gotten back to normal and fully recognized my depression causing everything to feel off in a depressive type way.) it's fully hitting me how little I really look forward to, even the things I technically do look forward to seem meaningless. I feel like I've lost any slight sense of meaning existing in my life before dr/dp and it's scaring the hell out of me. I feel like anymore playing games is the only thing that makes me feel okay because it makes everything larger then life, and feels unreal anyway so I barely notice the dr/dp. I want to be able to enjoy things existing in "real life" again but at this point that seems impossible, I recognize it is from an outside standpoint technically possible, but I can't 'feel' it at all.

I think the main thing that throws me off is before it felt like "OH FUCK EVERYTHING IS A CARTOON/DREAM WHAT IS GOING ON?" and that slowly went down, felt like it was almost gone, and then I was hit with the same yet somehow completely different sensation of life like I was trapped in the void at night, and the day 'felt' like dying of heat in a desert. Then that started to go away and felt like it was nearly gone and now this "depressive" shade encompassing everything is here.


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## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

Zephar said:


> Well, at this point my DR/DP are nearly gone, but things still feel very off and strange, I've been depressed for the last 6 years but I never really let it effect me much. But now that everything seems unreal (And I almost can't tell any more if it still feels unreal technically or if I have somehow gotten back to normal and fully recognized my depression causing everything to feel off in a depressive type way.) it's fully hitting me how little I really look forward to, even the things I technically do look forward to seem meaningless. I feel like I've lost any slight sense of meaning existing in my life before dr/dp and it's scaring the hell out of me. I feel like anymore playing games is the only thing that makes me feel okay because it makes everything larger then life, and feels unreal anyway so I barely notice the dr/dp. I want to be able to enjoy things existing in "real life" again but at this point that seems impossible, I recognize it is from an outside standpoint technically possible, but I can't 'feel' it at all.
> 
> I think the main thing that throws me off is before it felt like "OH FUCK EVERYTHING IS A CARTOON/DREAM WHAT IS GOING ON?" and that slowly went down, felt like it was almost gone, and then I was hit with the same yet somehow completely different sensation of life like I was trapped in the void at night, and the day 'felt' like dying of heat in a desert. Then that started to go away and felt like it was nearly gone and now this "depressive" shade encompassing everything is here.


Wow, I feel exacly the same. I don't question reality anymore, I know it's there. It's just making me depressed now. And my "me" just feels constructed... I'm not panicing anymore, I just have this weird feeling inside of me constantly. And I don't have any hopes or dreams for my future - except getting rid of DP. I do stuff, I hang out with my friends - but it doesn't feel like I'm doing it because I want to but because I'm human and humans do that kind of stuff. I do enjoy stuff in a way, and I do have feelings.. but it doesn't feel like I'm autonomous, like I have a free will... It feels like nature is controlling me. Reality is depressing.


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## Zephar (Mar 1, 2011)

One odd thing I noticed is each time that "change" shifts and fucks me mentally has been consistently the day before a full moon, I feel suddenly "hit" by it as night begins to fall and over the course of the next day it gets much worse. I hadn't noticed that until just after posting that, and remembered something I heard somewhere about gravity shifts during a full moon having a mental effect on people.


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## Zephar (Mar 1, 2011)

sara said:


> Wow, I feel exacly the same. I don't question reality anymore, I know it's there. It's just making me depressed now. And my "me" just feels constructed... I'm not panicing anymore, I just have this weird feeling inside of me constantly. And I don't have any hopes or dreams for my future - except getting rid of DP. I do stuff, I hang out with my friends - but it doesn't feel like I'm doing it because I want to but because I'm human and humans do that kind of stuff. I do enjoy stuff in a way, and I do have feelings.. but it doesn't feel like I'm autonomous, like I have a free will... It feels like nature is controlling me. Reality is depressing.


Aye, the sense of self gets entirely stripped away, it's like you know you have things you like, and preferences, but all of the sudden they don't mean anything, and you hardly even care that you prefer one thing to the other to the point you question whether you still have preferences or not.


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## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

Zephar said:


> Aye, the sense of self gets entirely stripped away, it's like you know you have things you like, and preferences, but all of the sudden they don't mean anything, and you hardly even care that you prefer one thing to the other to the point you question whether you still have preferences or not.


Do you think that maybe is connected to deppression? Like... if we were happy this weird feeling would just do away and we would enjoy stuff again?


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## Zephar (Mar 1, 2011)

sara said:


> Do you think that maybe is connected to deppression? Like... if we were happy this weird feeling would just do away and we would enjoy stuff again?


It definitely seems to have root in depression, I think it's a mixture of that and a slight "off" dr/dp feeling. Like, we still have a smaller version of dr/dp added onto depression which makes it feel like we can't really "detect" dr/dp, like it's not there as a threat, but reality seems off and hopeless, like there is a literal shade of depression covering everything.


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## Zephar (Mar 1, 2011)

And thinking about it more I did have this feeling before thinking back on it, but the sense of meaninglessness and "nothing left but to kill myself" were so overwhelmingly strong there was no doubt in my mind it was the dr/dp fucking me over.


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## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

It's hard though to tell if the dp comes from depression or depression from dp! I try to treat it as if I was depressed, I try to do as much is possible and try to focus on why I might be depressed. But sometimes it feels as if only DP went away everything would be fine, but I guess that's not true...


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## Lostwanderer (Jan 31, 2011)

SaraBro said:


> It's hard though to tell if the dp comes from depression or depression from dp! I try to treat it as if I was depressed, I try to do as much is possible and try to focus on why I might be depressed. But sometimes it feels as if only DP went away everything would be fine, but I guess that's not true...


I have the same exact question, i dont know whether i just have severe dperession or dp/dr, or both. I used to get anxiety+dp, but the fight or flight response for so long is turning into depression. Can someone shed light on this. Sometimes i feel like a manic depressive, because i go in and out of intense depressed/dp'd feelings, the closest suicidal feelings ive had. Its scaring me so bad.


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## Lostwanderer (Jan 31, 2011)

Zephar said:


> Aye, the sense of self gets entirely stripped away, it's like you know you have things you like, and preferences, but all of the sudden they don't mean anything, and you hardly even care that you prefer one thing to the other to the point you question whether you still have preferences or not.


I have the same exact problem. Its frustrating. Is this just really bad depression? Im wondering if bad depression comes with feelings like this, or if DP just makes depression a lot worse.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

It could well be depression, a deep depression which is kept at bay by blocking it out.

I'm speaking with 2 professionals about this tommorow and another on Wednesday, so I'l post up some of their opinions.

I had a chat with my GP and she said it could well be some sort of emotional problem that hasn't been dealt with.


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