# Hello



## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

Hi I'm just looking for some information. I live with a spouse who seems to just go to another planet sometimes. Nothing I can say or do can reach her. How can I help her? It hurts so much being on this end of things. I feel so helpless and alone.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

Yeah you found the right place


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

I am seeing a therapist myself and he says she is dissociating. Is that the same thing?


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

Well its close enouf to be counted as..cant be told so easly tho


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

I'd like to know what helps people. What's the best thing I can do? therapist seems to think nothing...that all I can do is wait...he says she doesn't even hear me so no point even talking.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

Yes she is dealing with memories of childhood abuse right now and whenever she gets angry or upset, she just "goes away". She just goes to bed and sleeps. When she comes out of it, she's always very sorry and sad she caused me pain but while in it, she can't seem to even care that I exist. I swear I could drop dead in front of her and she wouldn't even care.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

Yes that is the plan. I'm trying to deal with my own anger right now. I feel discounted and deserted and as if I live by myself half the time. Then I feel guilty for feeling angry at someone who is trying to cope with something very hard. I just want to help but it seems I just can't.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2005)

Raphie, you should get some help too. Very often we have partners who mirror our own problems in some way. It's possible you have similar feelings of betrayal by those you depended on when young. I denied my own unhappiness for many years, couldn't even remember it and had poor relationships. You really can start to feel better through confronting the truth, but just like a house that has been lived in and not cleaned for decades, it's going to look worse before it looks better, so don't feel discouraged when things get sh itty.


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## freesong (Dec 26, 2005)

I had depression and anxiety and ptsd for years and didn't have any kind of dissociative disorder until the last few years of my marriage and then I was "splitting" and not even realizing that I was not with my husband emotionally. I know how hard it was for him. I am now experiencing the dp/dr which for me is completely different. I am dissociated from the world I once knew and have very few feelings. It is as if I see the world around me but it is different. I can't experience anything like I did before. Example: I can see a sunset but I can't feel anything at all. I can listen to music but it is empty for me. When I had true dissociation like the text books talk about I still had feelings. It was different. I don't know if that helps to figure out what is going on with your wife but others are right in telling you that it would help to talk to some professional to help yourself cope. I wish my husband would have had some help as I think we might still be married. One thing I can promise you is that your wife really needs you if you can hang in there. I wish someone would have told my husband that. I can tell that you are a very loving and caring person. I really hope that you all can make it through this and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. God bless, freesong


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