# Anyone tried electroshock?



## hanniballexster (Jun 13, 2010)

About 3 and a half years ago (about a year before the DR started) I was severely depressed and attempted suicide and was commited (I am on psych disability, btw, so I don't have a job). I was slated for ECT, but got out of the hospital early and just... never went back.

But my DR has been going on 2.25 years and it's driving me nuts. I've tried hypnotherapy, acupuncture, EMpower plus, talk therapy (see a counsellor every week) and a ton of medications (anti depressants, anti psychotics even, and I am on an anti-convulsant now). I haven't had a neurological work up yet, though, and I have an extensive history of head injuries/concussions.

Anyway, I feel like I am in a dream, constantly, which wouldn't be so bad if it went away, but wearing on and on and on like this is driving me nuts.

I started thinking- maybe I need to SHOCK my brain back to reality. Literally shock it back out of it's stupid little shell.

So I was wondering if anyone has tried ECT to get DR to go away, and how that worked (yes, I realize I sound desperate... that's because I am getting desperate). I don't think there is anyway in hell my shrink would permit ECT for DR (especially considering a lot of reports say that ECT can cause DP and DR in previously unaffected people). I just want my reality back, not this groggy, dazed, dream feeling. Before the DR if I felt dozy or groggy, a good jolt to the system (adrenaline, coffee, cold water in the face) would perk me up and make me feel more clear headed. Cold water doesnt do anything for the DR, the coffee makes my heart race too fast now which makes me more anxious and adrenaline... well.... I get panic attacks and none of them has ever snapped me out of this.

But maybe electricity would. I once had this battery powered head stimulator I got in china town (no longer have it). It delivered mild electrical shocks to your scalp, to increase blood flow. I got rid of it before the DR started so I don't know if it would work, but I am thinking if my system iis "sleeping" or on "rest" mode (like a computer) a good electrical shock might wake me back up, so things are clear and real again. I know that sounds crazy, but they won't send me to a neurologist even though I have a lot of other neuro symptoms (theyy think they are all anxiety, which is getting ridiculous). I've even though about getting batteries and trying to shock my scalp and spine, the nerves leading to my brain, with small doses of electricity. Nothing dangerous, just an experiment.

But if ECT could possibly work, Id be willing to do it at this point, even if it screwed with my memory again and I had to relearn some skills. I just want to feel real again. If they gave me enough shocks they might fry the part of my brain that gets panic attacks, too. Added bonus.

I even considered asking for psychosurgery (yes, I know its not performed anymore)... I am not sure if that would make me feel any more real, but at least I wouldn't be so scared about this anymore. Or insulin shock therapy.

I'm not a danger to myself, not suicidal, and am not going to do anything dumb at home. The most I'd get is another one of those mild head shocker things from china town. But if anybody has gone through ECT during DR, did it help your symptoms at all? because right now, I am open to almost any theory.

I've even considered keeping my eyes blindfolded for most of the day, or going to those chambers (sorry, can't think)- the ones that cut out all external stimulation for a while, so that maybe when I get out the stimulation of real life will hit me hard and jolt me back into reality. Sort of like smacking your television when the reception goes lousy. Probably not smart, but I really am getting distressed with this. I try not to think of it as much as I can, and it might be better than it was, but if it is, I am not sure, because its subjective and I can't compare how I feel now to how I felt even a few days ago, let alone months or years ago.

I've thought about totally blasting my senses with hot sauce on the tongue, or taking freezing baths... anything almost to get out of this, but I don't know if any of those ideas would work. They might make it worse, which is why I am asking.

Some days I have felt half normal for half an hour or so, but those days are rare, and its never longer than half an hour, and there doesn't seem to be any reason for the decrease in symptoms.

I know everyone says stay focused, eat healthily, stay on your meds but taper off some slowly, etc... I have been trying to do all that, but its not leaving.

Part of me is scared that because I have had the DR for so long, if reality ever comes back, I won't remember it. I hope that's not the cause. I have been praying and doing visualizations and even listening to those Anthony Robbins tapes (my friend has a lot of them). On disability I don't have that many stresses... all I have to do this week is phone housing to keep my name on the list for permanent housing, get a blood test, send off a novel manuscript and maybe clean my house (laundry, dishes, etc). That's it. That feels like too much.

Sorry for the length. Just anything that might help. When I first started taking magnesium pills they seemed to help a tiny bit, but I don't notice the effects so much anymore... does that mean I am getting better?

I am on disability in a big city. I wish I could just go to a camp or something and have a daily routine and something to do every hour and work at something, get away from the city, but that's impossible on disability, where I live.

I can't even go to detox if I want to try and wean off the benzos, because they are prescription drugs that a doctor gave me, and detox here won't take you for precription meds, no matter how severe the withdrawal is.

I feel frustrated, like I have no control over my own life, I have little money to live on so I can't afford a private psychiatrist or doctor who would send me to a neurologist (I had a pretty big blow to the head shortly before the DR started and that's never been investigated- what if its scar tissue or a lesion pressing on some part of my brain that's causing this, that could be removed?)

I feel kind of hopeless right now. My shrink (my new one, the last one was fired because he was incompetent) at the public clinic I go to, I only see every few months, and he only makes slight medication adjustments. He told me he's never had a patient with DR that lasted this long before caused by anxiety, and he claim he can't send me to a neurologist because he needs my GP to do it, but she won't do it without my shrink's approval, so I asked for a note from him, but he forgot to write one the last two times. Meanwhile, MONTHS are passing, turning into years, and I am sure by now they think I am making the DR up or being a hypochondriac, because they can't visually see the DR and it doesn't show up on a basic blood test (duh!)

So frustrated. Feel like giving up, but I am not sure what that would entail, giving up. I don't want to die, I just want my reality- my life- back.

I know some people have had DR for years and its gone for them, and that gives me hope, but I don't know why it went. I am trying my best to take their advice, but its not budging. How do I speed the recovery process up?

Alex


----------



## Guest (Sep 7, 2010)

I'm assuming you've never seen the movies "Psychiatry an Industry of Death" or "Generation Rx"?

Youtube them.


----------



## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

There was a guy who use to post here who had ECT done many times. He had nothing but bad things to say about it and said overall it made him worse. Personally I would not fuck with ECT.


----------



## hanniballexster (Jun 13, 2010)

Yeah, thanks. I knew it was probably a crazy idea, and overall I distrust shrinks now since my mental health has only really deteriorated since I started seeing them 10 years ago.

But I feel really desperate. Thank you anyways. Alex


----------



## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

hanniballexster said:


> Yeah, thanks. I knew it was probably a crazy idea, and overall I distrust shrinks now since my mental health has only really deteriorated since I started seeing them 10 years ago.
> 
> But I feel really desperate. Thank you anyways. Alex


Hey Alex, I saw that you mentioned Naloxone/Naltrexone on the poll you made, but I am wondering if you have personally given these meds a shot? I am currently on 50 mg of Naltrexone, and although I have not seen a dramatic reduction in DP/DR symptoms, I have seen subtle changes and realize that I would require a much higher dose to see any significant changes. I am also really hopeful about Naloxone treatment, as I have read that it is more effective than Naltrexone. What do you think?


----------



## hanniballexster (Jun 13, 2010)

insaticiable said:


> Hey Alex, I saw that you mentioned Naloxone/Naltrexone on the poll you made, but I am wondering if you have personally given these meds a shot? I am currently on 50 mg of Naltrexone, and although I have not seen a dramatic reduction in DP/DR symptoms, I have seen subtle changes and realize that I would require a much higher dose to see any significant changes. I am also really hopeful about Naloxone treatment, as I have read that it is more effective than Naltrexone. What do you think?


Hi, I haven't tried either of them, but I heard they could help some people. I don't think they are covered, though. So tired. having a bad time right now... bad las few years, but the last few months have been hard, and today I feel like crying (read my other post in the daily forum about how I feel).

I hope you get relief soon. Alex


----------



## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

I would never ever try something so scary...have you tried researching diets and that sort of things?


----------



## hanniballexster (Jun 13, 2010)

babybowrain said:


> I would never ever try something so scary...have you tried researching diets and that sort of things?


I have OCD so when I am st my friend mark's (he has a computer with inter I can spend 10 or more hours a day researching ANYTING that might help.


----------



## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

I had 15 ECT treatments. I would only advise it as a last resort. I was catatonic, so it was needed to bring me out of it. My short term memory was real screwed up for a year. I was lucky that I got better again, but I wouldn't recommend it.


----------



## Guest (Sep 14, 2010)

Thank you for sharing this type of information at all. It helps people like me who are looking for such information. the data is actually added to my knowledge to give every knowledge.you detail.I deep Hopefully, you can send more information like this.


----------

