# Going from a vegetable to (almost) cured



## thenarayan (Aug 22, 2014)

Hello world,

During the past 4 years I diagnosed myself with DP, I got it from smoking joints, a lot, I smoked way too much while I was unemployed, along with the company of people who believed that smoking haxe or weed would make them look cooler, was even worse. On top of smoking a lot I was in a tough relation with someone with a toxic personality.

Symptoms:

- Feeling that someone else was controlling my body

- Hearing voices that would comment on everything I do and say

- Feeling that someone else could enter my body, or like I was someone else

- Believing in social parallel happenings, like every action was tied to something else (chaos theory)

- Getting stunned when seeing myself in mirror, like it was a surprise reminding myself I looked the way I looked

I later went to a doctor, was there for a few months, heavily medicated, later when I saw the pictures they took of me to the medical records, I was scared, I looked like a corpse, no lie.

Now I'm here, because I believe in spreading the love and sharing, and I hope to share how I am recovering for it may help someone else. I hope it does.

- Cut relations with anyone that appears to be toxic, I would find myself stutter and eating words at times when talking to people, at first I thought it was shyness but then I realized I was with toxic people, and the nervousness would make me stutter because I knew somehow I was being judged before I finished my sentence. Detach from them completly, everyone deserves to be with people who are friendly, ignore them, remove them from social networks, don't even look at them.

- I would often find myself at home being bored, playing videogames all day, masturbating, eating and doing a big fat nothing. I was on holidays from school so it was even worse. I made a list of things I would picture myself doing if I had a perfect life, as if I was living the dream. Next I made a list like if it was a school hours schedule: Example: During mornings I would put my clock alarm on to enjoy my day more. From 8am to 9am I would take care of bath and hygiene basic needs, from 9 to 9:30am I meditate, then I work out, then I take pictures to instagram, then I walk my new dog around the town, then I socialize... etc etc.

I try to make a new breakfast everyday, something I never tried before, search for ideas online. Same for the lunch, you like asian food? Order chinese or sushi, maybe mexican, the trick is to try exotic things, something to feed your brain with new experiences.

After lunch, I would turn on spotify and find new music on their radio based on my likes. I would draw portraits with pencil, join an activist group, make street art, donate to charity... just to name a few.

On top of that, I would try to get active on my dating life again, I found that throwing a love objective in the mix would probably enhance the "best day of my live", which I tried to reproduce everyday.

- Do not go out with friends if you know what they are doing isn't enjoyable for you. Don't go to a techno event if it's your first time there and you are not sure you are going to like techno. No matter how much you like the friends who invited you with. You must have your own personality, your own likes, if you go, you won't feel yourself awake, you'll be spiritless. Say no every now and then when you feel like it. I'm not saying you go all over their faces and say you hate what their plans, but find an excuse and don't hurt their feelings, if they really insist, let them know you don't like the event for this or that reason. Be sincere with them but with yourself above all.

I did this very mistake and I ended up having a terrible night, at the end of the weekend I would think I would have been better at home masturbating, at least I would have more fun than what I did.

- Surround yourself with people who you want to be like, people who are like you and are honest with you, people who aren't with you for other reasons.

- Avoid needy and insecure people. Life is too short to waste on people like that. I speak for myself, I am highly emphatic.

- Stop doing drugs.

- Make a list of movies on your youtube 'watch this later' list for when you don't have anything to do at some nights.

After some days I would start feeling a different person, feeling awake, my spiritual energy was coming back slowly. I was doing what I wanted to do and I had no shame of the life I was living.

Ignore DP for a while and pursue your dreams, call an old friend, or set up a group of people to go somewhere. (Just be sure they aren't going to be too surprised to hear from you)

Call someone on a date and go to somewhere risky, somewhere you both never visited. Personally I imagine the perfect date on a underground sushi bar where the tender would serve and cut the fish with katanas, the rush of adrenaline on my activies helps a ton.

- Have your own things, buy something online, a piece of clothing or a book, a treat for you every now and then.

- Donate to ALS instead of just doing an ice bucket challenge.

- Check on friends, send them the ebay link for a book that they were searching for but never found to date but you easily did. Show you care and value friendships.

- Don't be ashamed of what you do or who you are.

- Find a social activity. I for one got a dog and I walk him twice a day, he's still a puppy and people will stop to pet him and chat with me about it. It got rid of my anxiety and social awkwardness. (But don't just get a dog for these very reasons, a dog is a living being, not your instrument or tool to make you feel better. Don't get one for selfish reasons, you must really like him and be true to him or you won't stand the chores you'll have to do for him)

- Have your own style. I'm more and more in love with punk music each day, none or few of people I know like it, but that's okay. I'm unique and so are them.

Often ask yourself how can you make this day the best of your life.

Don't use the forum or search for DP stories online. It's the same thing than looking at photos of your ex and their new boyfriends/girlfriends. Sure it kills curiosity but doesn't bring good feelings or vibes to your life. You'll regret it emotionally.

Go bowling, visit a meditation shrine, do stuff it appeals to you but you never tried before.

Some people have problems with social networks, anxiety, social approvation, etc. If you do as well, get rid of them, sometimes I turn off my cell phone for a couple days and it feels great. I turned off my facebook account and it helped tons, I noticed changes only a week after but it was great. Again, this worked for me, not sure if it works for you!

Do something wild, ever wanted a piercings or a tattoo? Go get it, just make sure you do it with a little responsibility.

And remember, we humans are highly social creatures, we weren't born feelings like this, we weren't born with DP, go back to your roots and stay natural, things like DP won't stick around forever, they were made by humans, but weren't born with us.

A wise person said once, "a good writer may not only possess his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends." I am not a writer but at that time if I didn'tfeel my spirit anymore, if I felt DP, if I didn't feel awake, then I started picking mannerisms from other people, friends and others I admired... does this person has a cool way to raise his eyebrow and ask "Say what?", do they have a funny way of expressing their opinion while they wiggle their finger? Start borrowing that stuff into you, I feel like I have mannerisms of so many people at the same time, that I start develop different ones based on those. The responses are highly positive and if they don't work the second or third time, try something else.

I'm almost recovered, I am a person that demands a lot from myself and a lot of things in life, so I'm never fully satisfied, BUT, I'm getting there! and I hope so will you!

P.S. - A bit random but I recommend reading Nietzsche - Beyond Good and Evil. Find some interesting quotes online. It helped me find myself.

Good days to you and STAY STRONG AS A WOLF!


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## Guest (Sep 7, 2014)

Very happy for you, but that sounds definitely like psychosis, not like only dp/dr, right? Hope everythings gonna be alright for you


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