# I cant get over him



## shattered memories (Jul 19, 2012)

Ok so things have been on the uphill for the past few weeks concerning DPDR/anxiety/depression. A lot of it was just pushing through the pain and living life as I should and an even greater part of it was medication. I ended up meeting a really wonderful guy (Dean) unlike any other I've met before so that also sped up the recovery.

Rewind >> Earlier this summer I met another guy who I thought was the one. (Lets call him "Adam") But he totally curb stomped my heart. Basically told me I was just a summer fling and he actually was already steady with someone else. To be honest he was a MAJOR factor into me going into this DPDR/anxiety/depression state. So I should hate this guy with a passion.

Well last friday night I was sitting at home watching The Hunger Games. At 2am I get a text from him asking me to come over. Without hesitation I get ready and soon Im at his place. So we're chatting and having fun like nothing ever happened. And I've seen him twice since. In the back of my mind Im thinking "You know this is the same guy that fucked you over and spiraled your life into a living hell right?" And the sad part is a part of me doesnt care.

I have an incredibly guilty conscious and I feel just horrible whenever Im with Dean. He's been there for me so many times and made me feel alive for once...feelings I hadnt felt for so long. I really like...dare I say love him but I cant get old guy outta my head. WTF is wrong with me. Sometimes I imagine Im with Adam when Im intimate with him. I should be a stronger person than this. This is not me. Why cant I cant I get it through my thick skull that Adam is a horrible person and Dean doesn't deserve to be fucked over like this. But I know if Adam rings me up again...I'll probably be there soon...maybe.

Anyone gone through similar situations or offer words of advice so I dont fuck things up with Dean even more?


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## sarah514 (Aug 24, 2010)

shattered memories said:


> Ok so things have been on the uphill for the past few weeks concerning DPDR/anxiety/depression. A lot of it was just pushing through the pain and living life as I should and an even greater part of it was medication. I ended up meeting a really wonderful guy (Dean) unlike any other I've met before so that also sped up the recovery.
> 
> Rewind >> Earlier this summer I met another guy who I thought was the one. (Lets call him "Adam") But he totally curb stomped my heart. Basically told me I was just a summer fling and he actually was already steady with someone else. To be honest he was a MAJOR factor into me going into this DPDR/anxiety/depression state. So I should hate this guy with a passion.
> 
> ...


Honestly, I think we've all been there; hung up on a douchebag. I was in love with a guy who was just using me all last year. We weren't right for each other, but I kept going back to him. It's because we want what we can't have. I finally got over him, when I realized there are other guys out there. Unfortunately, the other guy I started seeing, ended up being an asshole too lol. So I haven't got the best of luck, or maybe I'm just horrible at choosing. Point is, you should be happy you found a good guy and that you could possibly be in love. Understand that this guy is scum compared to your boyfriend. He knows he can just use you for sex. Someone who calls you at 2am, asking you to come over, has no respect for you and never will. Moving on is simple. All you need is distance and time. Delete his number, don't reply to his texts. And one day you'll wonder why he ever had a chance with you. Good luck. Also guys are awesome distractions from DP.


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

Sorry to hear that your going through this. I was seeing this girl at the beginning of summer and things were going awesome. We were hanging out everyday and it got to the point where we were basically going out. I was so involved with her I wasn't even coming on this site anymore. Out of nowhere one day she tells me that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. It totally felt like my heart got crushed, I felt like such shit... It's been a few weeks since and I'm getting better everyday.

I don't regret this experience at all. I think now that I've been through this I am a stronger person. The only bad thing now is I don't want relationships anymore and feel like I can't trust girls







I know that sounds horrible but that's how I feel right now. I just couldn't imagine going through that again or even worse being cheated on.


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

shattered memories said:


> Ok so things have been on the uphill for the past few weeks concerning DPDR/anxiety/depression. A lot of it was just pushing through the pain and living life as I should and an even greater part of it was medication. I ended up meeting a really wonderful guy (Dean) unlike any other I've met before so that also sped up the recovery.
> 
> Rewind >> Earlier this summer I met another guy who I thought was the one. (Lets call him "Adam") But he totally curb stomped my heart. Basically told me I was just a summer fling and he actually was already steady with someone else. To be honest he was a MAJOR factor into me going into this DPDR/anxiety/depression state. So I should hate this guy with a passion.
> 
> ...


My advice for you being a guy is to never talk to him again. Love the one your with and forget about adam. I got a couple of friends who use girls like this and then laugh about it afterwards. Don't think your special because he probally acts this way towards other girls as well. Some guys will mistreat someone like you because they can. You don't need someone like that and will only hurt yourself or your current relationship if you keep talking to adam.


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## shattered memories (Jul 19, 2012)

LOL thanks Opie, but I'm a guy too, which is sad since I know the male mind and the games we play. I guess I was being delusional. TBH, its extremely hard to find homosexual guys that are genuinely interested in a relationship. Homos aren't bound to societal obligations of monogamy and family like normal men are so its not really unexpected that they prefer to philander around.



> Point is, you should be happy you found a good guy and that you could possibly be in love. Understand that this guy is scum compared to your boyfriend. He knows he can just use you for sex. Someone who calls you at 2am, asking you to come over, has no respect for you and never will


My god this is so true. I'm relegated to the late night hookup status when I have someone who truly cares about me. I dunno I guess I was attracted to Adam because we were different types. Im the more reserved bookish type while he was the more outgoing, athletic type. I could tell he's the type that'd never settle down. But yes, Dean and I have so much in common its amazing and we both truly believe in monogamy...which I guess I need work on.



> Sorry to hear that your going through this. I was seeing this girl at the beginning of summer and things were going awesome. We were hanging out everyday and it got to the point where we were basically going out. I was so involved with her I wasn't even coming on this site anymore. Out of nowhere one day she tells me that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. It totally felt like my heart got crushed, I felt like such shit... It's been a few weeks since and I'm getting better everyday.


Wow sounds exactly like what happened to me







Im glad you're getting better though. I really hope you can find it in your heart to trust again soon. Usually its the women that are afraid to trust...but you seem like a nice guy and I know there are plenty of nice girls out there who dig nice guys









Thank you all for your feedback and allowing me to vent







I really appreciate your encouragement and sharing your stories as well.


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## Ubiquity (Apr 24, 2011)

It's easy to be confused and misled if you haven't made up your mind on who you want to be with. I would also recommend cutting ties with Adam, however. You need some time to cool down and enjoy your time with Dean without Adam bringing out your impulsive side. Just remember that it would be more respectful to Dean if you made up your mind quickly, whether you end up with him or not, rather than mess around with both him and Adam at the same time.


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