# Depersonalization from Antipsychotic



## Cyndih1964 (Mar 23, 2016)

Has anyone suffered from dp and dr after using an antipsychotic. I've been through so much pain and still am because of taking an antipsychotic to help my depression. Please comment if you've ever experienced this or heard of someone else experiencing this. I've been living a nightmare for going on 5 mints now and feel so totally alone.


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

Antidepressants and especially antipsychotics can cause a variety of weird feelings depending on the weather. I don't like the feeling of taking antipsychtoics, particularly because I don't seem to be having an excess dopamine problem.


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## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Hey,

Firstly I really understand that you feel so alone.

I feel that way too, there's something about this condition that makes it such a lonely thing. I think it's because you see other people walking around and you think you're so lucky you're walking around there in complete normality and I'm walking around here and I'm suffering horribly and stuck in this horrible state, and nobody knows that because from the outside I look absolutely fine.

If you're on crutches or something people can tell that you're suffering and at least you have the knowledge that you're experiencing the world around you as it should be experienced, not through a horrible haze.

I'm not an expert but I am not surprised that a drug like that could be the trigger for dr / dp. I think anything that screws with your brain chemistry in a certain way could trigger the brain to malfunction and go into a dr / dp state.

Could you describe your symptoms a little bit?

You really do have my deepest sympathy. I'm also really struggling day to day with trying to function with a brain that seems to be too stuck in it's own self, and looking inward rather than outward, a long with the horrible visual mess up that goes with it.

Only back in November I used to love getting up early in the morning and the prospect of another day. This morning however, for probably one of the first times in my life, when I woke up I could feel myself having an anxiety attack at the prospect of having to get through another day with this and had to really battle not giving into complete dispair, and believe me that really is not the kind of person I am.

I know we have no choice but to percevier, but the immense amount of will power it takes to battle through this for a whole day and not give in to feeling absolutely distraught by it is just huge.


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## Cyndih1964 (Mar 23, 2016)

Thank you both so much for your replies. To know there are others who have or are going through this gives me both some hope and sadness that someone else has to suffer like this. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. God knows this to be true. 
My symptoms have consisted of initially houses, the environment began to look fuzzy or unreal, different, when I was on the antipsychotic. As soon as I went off it after 1 month I began experiencing unimaginable anxiety and depression which lasted all day. No lie. Severe suicidal ideation. For the past 4 months it's been like I'm living in a dreamlike state. Severe memory loss, my family feel like strangers. It's like someone took me and put me into this body. Like I'm literally not myself. The memories I do have do not feel like they are mine. Body, mind and soul feel detached from something or someone, not sure what that means. Feel fragmented. Does this all sound so crazy? Initially there seemed to be no sense of time. No sense of past or future. I've been living every day with the thought and hope of literally making it through the day, moment by moment. Now I'm beginning to wonder how can I possibly live in this state for God knows how long? I dread going to sleep knowing that tomorrow I have to wake back up and fight again.


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## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Hehehe the thing is when you try to describe these symptoms they do sound crazy, but you're not.

I think the definition of crazy would be that you believe something to be true that really isn't. Like we're all made of potato or something.

You know that these symptoms you're suffering from at the moment are very wrong. The brain is malfunctioning and isn't properly processing things.

You're probably feeling that you're not feeling things fully, your vision is wrong, your short term memory is not as good as it should be etc.

I think what this thing is is that under certain extreme circumstances, usually involving some kind of chemical or medication ( which I guess is really the same thing in some ways ) the brain freaks out massively and kind of retreats into itself.

A little while ago I would have been convinced that it was brain damage caused by drugs. However I fully recovered from that and was fine for 10 years. The thing that has triggered it in me again this time has absolutely nothing to do with drugs. So it must be a problem in the brain itself that can start to malfunction under certain circumstances.

All of this of course doesn't help you when you're suffering from it and trying desperately to make it through the day. It's incredibly hard and frightening.


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## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

When I say I recovered from drugs, I was not in anyway a drug addict, I smoked weed one time and one time only and have never done any other type of drug.

I would say something that I think is very important in helping yourself to recover is you must socialize, whether that walking to the shops, talking to friends or whatever. I know it's incredibly hard in this state, partly for me because I find it embarrassing that this is happening to me, and it feels really weird.

But I think scientifically thinking socializing forces your brain to look outwards rather than inwards and I would think that would help more than just sitting by yourself and thinking about it.


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

Try accepting that this is what is happening to you. Then see if the depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations don't go away. I also suggest seeing a talk therapist to try and figure out any reasons you might be feeling so dissociated.


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## Allez (Apr 10, 2013)

I experienced what was close to DP/DR while taking seroquel xr for a month. I felt like a walking zombie that was a few seconds behind the present moment, no matter how hard I tried to keep up. It felt like my brain had the brakes on.


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## meekah (Sep 28, 2015)

celexa really fucked me up but im adjusting to normal after being off them for 2-3 months now


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