# Do you feel human?



## Guest (Sep 18, 2004)

Do you feel human?

I think most people with Dp/Dr can answer this with no, since most
of us have trouble feeling feelings and emotions.
I was wondering if anyone here feels like they are completely
different from others and have the conviction that nobody understands them?

Also, do you feel special or have a sense of total loneliness or have the idea that you have a non-human identity (with this not meaning you think you have been abducted by an alien or think you are an alien..lol), just not feeling human.

And with special I dont mean the 'look at me, this is what I can do' special kind of way. I mean as if you have a special kind of 'knowledge' or 'experience' (you think) others dont have.

Since I do have all these symptoms, I was wondering if more Dp/Dred people here have this.

Thanks
Wendy


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## Guest (Sep 18, 2004)

Do you feel human?

I think most people with Dp/Dr can answer this with no, since most
of us have trouble feeling feelings and emotions.
I was wondering if anyone here feels like they are completely
different from others and have the conviction that nobody understands them?

Also, do you feel special or have a sense of total loneliness or have the idea that you have a non-human identity (with this not meaning you think you have been abducted by an alien or think you are an alien..lol), just not feeling human.

And with special I dont mean the 'look at me, this is what I can do' special kind of way. I mean as if you have a special kind of 'knowledge' or 'experience' (you think) others dont have.

Since I do have all these symptoms, I was wondering if more Dp/Dred people here have this.

Thanks
Wendy


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

No I don't feel human. I've pondered so many reasons as to why I feel this way. I'm on a whole other level than the rest of the world it seems... except for people on here. Sometimes I think maybe I'm special, like I can experience this DP because my mind is advanced or something. But other times I feel like maybe I'm just really stupid cuz I can't just get over this and go on with my life and everybody else is smart cuz they're able to deal with their existence so well. I do also though have that crazy thought that I was abducted by aliens and I'm part of an experiment. I've also wondered if standing on my head too often as a child has made me this way. LOL. I do seriously wonder that though, but seeing it written down makes me feel like a dumbass.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

No I don't feel human. I've pondered so many reasons as to why I feel this way. I'm on a whole other level than the rest of the world it seems... except for people on here. Sometimes I think maybe I'm special, like I can experience this DP because my mind is advanced or something. But other times I feel like maybe I'm just really stupid cuz I can't just get over this and go on with my life and everybody else is smart cuz they're able to deal with their existence so well. I do also though have that crazy thought that I was abducted by aliens and I'm part of an experiment. I've also wondered if standing on my head too often as a child has made me this way. LOL. I do seriously wonder that though, but seeing it written down makes me feel like a dumbass.


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## Guest (Sep 18, 2004)

the thing is, how do you know if your not feeling human or not? We are human, so there is nothing else we could feel. And what exactly defines feeling human??? We aren't aliens, we just have problems that allow us to feel different from other people, but that doesn't make us any less human.


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## Guest (Sep 18, 2004)

the thing is, how do you know if your not feeling human or not? We are human, so there is nothing else we could feel. And what exactly defines feeling human??? We aren't aliens, we just have problems that allow us to feel different from other people, but that doesn't make us any less human.


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## Guest (Sep 19, 2004)

SoulBrotha said:


> the thing is, how do you know if your not feeling human or not? We are human, so there is nothing else we could feel. And what exactly defines feeling human??? We aren't aliens, we just have problems that allow us to feel different from other people, but that doesn't make us any less human.


Truth

Human Isnt An Emotion...

However.. You May Feel "Unordinary" Or "Odd".............. But, One Cannot Feel Inhuman

And The Belief That You Dont Feel "human" Probably Scares You Ten Times More Then The DP Itself... Cause You Alienate Yourself And Place Scary Unneeded Scenarios In Your Mind

So Remember...

You Dont Feel Inhuman... You Feel Odd, Or Strange Because Of The Disorder/Symptom You Have Known As Depersonalization


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## Guest (Sep 19, 2004)

SoulBrotha said:


> the thing is, how do you know if your not feeling human or not? We are human, so there is nothing else we could feel. And what exactly defines feeling human??? We aren't aliens, we just have problems that allow us to feel different from other people, but that doesn't make us any less human.


Truth

Human Isnt An Emotion...

However.. You May Feel "Unordinary" Or "Odd".............. But, One Cannot Feel Inhuman

And The Belief That You Dont Feel "human" Probably Scares You Ten Times More Then The DP Itself... Cause You Alienate Yourself And Place Scary Unneeded Scenarios In Your Mind

So Remember...

You Dont Feel Inhuman... You Feel Odd, Or Strange Because Of The Disorder/Symptom You Have Known As Depersonalization


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## Guest (Sep 19, 2004)

So glad you included the disclaimer about "not including" thinking your've been abducted by aliens, grin.

Yep. I always felt not human. It seemed there was ME and then there were PEOPLE. I was something else. It was more than just the fact that yes, I'm IN my own Self, so of course there's a difference...I thought nobody on this earth had ever felt things the way I did.

I actually DID entertain all kinds of delusions, they never lasted too long...but I used to imagine what if I was "created" like some kind of thing, a robot, an artificial creature...created by my family for their own amusement. Or what if I was half-human but half something else, as if I alone had special insights or experience...that my brain was not the way other brains are.

It's very very common for those of us with the narcissisitc states of consciousness...we get so obsessed with comparing ourselves to the outside world that we begin thinking we are either LACKING what other humans have, or MORE than other humans. But never equal. Never the same as. Never....ordinary.

Peace,
Janine
Proud now to admit to human race affilliation, grin


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## Guest (Sep 19, 2004)

So glad you included the disclaimer about "not including" thinking your've been abducted by aliens, grin.

Yep. I always felt not human. It seemed there was ME and then there were PEOPLE. I was something else. It was more than just the fact that yes, I'm IN my own Self, so of course there's a difference...I thought nobody on this earth had ever felt things the way I did.

I actually DID entertain all kinds of delusions, they never lasted too long...but I used to imagine what if I was "created" like some kind of thing, a robot, an artificial creature...created by my family for their own amusement. Or what if I was half-human but half something else, as if I alone had special insights or experience...that my brain was not the way other brains are.

It's very very common for those of us with the narcissisitc states of consciousness...we get so obsessed with comparing ourselves to the outside world that we begin thinking we are either LACKING what other humans have, or MORE than other humans. But never equal. Never the same as. Never....ordinary.

Peace,
Janine
Proud now to admit to human race affilliation, grin


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## Kerio (Sep 13, 2004)

I still resist the effort by most people to "convert" me to human race, bwahahaha! Anyway, what for? There's so much stupid prejudice and general idiocry in this world I don't think it's even worth trying to consider myself human. I kind of like it this way. Strange, though, that this obsession to be human still compels and fascinates me, even when a part of me still rejects it. Hm..maybe that's the block... :shock:


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## Kerio (Sep 13, 2004)

I still resist the effort by most people to "convert" me to human race, bwahahaha! Anyway, what for? There's so much stupid prejudice and general idiocry in this world I don't think it's even worth trying to consider myself human. I kind of like it this way. Strange, though, that this obsession to be human still compels and fascinates me, even when a part of me still rejects it. Hm..maybe that's the block... :shock:


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## whiterabbit (Aug 16, 2004)

I have been through long periods of time where I have been absolutely 1000% convinced that I am either sub-human :homer: or, on other occasions, evil :twisted: - it felt like a horrifying self-realisation but I knew it was true, other people couldn't see it, but I knew it was true.

I now know its not. :lol:

Although related thoughts and preoccupations still make themselves heard in my head when I am dp'ed. :?

However, I am working on it....... 8)


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## whiterabbit (Aug 16, 2004)

I have been through long periods of time where I have been absolutely 1000% convinced that I am either sub-human :homer: or, on other occasions, evil :twisted: - it felt like a horrifying self-realisation but I knew it was true, other people couldn't see it, but I knew it was true.

I now know its not. :lol:

Although related thoughts and preoccupations still make themselves heard in my head when I am dp'ed. :?

However, I am working on it....... 8)


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2004)

Guys, thanks for the replies.
I tried two times to write a long response and both times
my computer hanged. So I will try again later.
Ive had enough for now :roll:

Wendy


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2004)

Guys, thanks for the replies.
I tried two times to write a long response and both times
my computer hanged. So I will try again later.
Ive had enough for now :roll:

Wendy


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2004)

That's because you're not human, and your magnetic field causes the system to fail.

GRIN!
J


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2004)

That's because you're not human, and your magnetic field causes the system to fail.

GRIN!
J


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2004)

Hahahahaha...LOL
I KNEW you were gonna make a joke of it!
I guess thats (also) an extraterrestrial, subhuman, inhuman, alien quality of mine


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2004)

Hahahahaha...LOL
I KNEW you were gonna make a joke of it!
I guess thats (also) an extraterrestrial, subhuman, inhuman, alien quality of mine


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## Guest (Sep 26, 2004)

Its hard to put into words how it feels to not feel human.

I wrote down this:


> I mean as if you have a special kind of 'knowledge' or 'experience' (you think) others dont have.


I think Janine explains it kinda allright.

Soulbrotha and Hibernation, you are correct that you cant feel inhuman when being human, since we have no other option in being human, literally. I was talking about the subjective experience of it.
These feelings dont scare me, actually it helps me to know I feel this way in the sense I can give it a name.
I found out that the symptoms I described are/can be manifestations of PTSD.


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## Guest (Sep 26, 2004)

Its hard to put into words how it feels to not feel human.

I wrote down this:


> I mean as if you have a special kind of 'knowledge' or 'experience' (you think) others dont have.


I think Janine explains it kinda allright.

Soulbrotha and Hibernation, you are correct that you cant feel inhuman when being human, since we have no other option in being human, literally. I was talking about the subjective experience of it.
These feelings dont scare me, actually it helps me to know I feel this way in the sense I can give it a name.
I found out that the symptoms I described are/can be manifestations of PTSD.


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## dreamcatcher (Sep 23, 2004)

i dont feel human at all, i dont recognize myself in the mirror even my kids are alien to me, i have the great problem in trying to work out how i am doing things or even why i am doing them, ie, how do i know the way to the shops and the kids school, how the hell do i talk, i sound like a right fruit loop, hopefully i will be human again soon and get off this spaceship i appear to be on at present


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## dreamcatcher (Sep 23, 2004)

i dont feel human at all, i dont recognize myself in the mirror even my kids are alien to me, i have the great problem in trying to work out how i am doing things or even why i am doing them, ie, how do i know the way to the shops and the kids school, how the hell do i talk, i sound like a right fruit loop, hopefully i will be human again soon and get off this spaceship i appear to be on at present


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## Guest (Sep 26, 2004)

Yes Angela, and thats what I want to add too: its very difficult, if not impossible to feel human when you dont know how that feels or lost that feeling a looong time ago. Nothing to compare it to then.


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## Guest (Sep 26, 2004)

Yes Angela, and thats what I want to add too: its very difficult, if not impossible to feel human when you dont know how that feels or lost that feeling a looong time ago. Nothing to compare it to then.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I exercise my brain too much, either a result of dp or what has caused it. Therefore I experience things/interpret things to people who don't have dp. Same for everyone here I guess. So, yes, we do feel different to others. Wanting to feel like other people, fitting in, everybody has that at some point Im sure. And having a mental illness is such a taboo subject that it alienates you even more. So don't beat yourself up for feeling different, cos even non dp people feel like that! Being different doesn't have to be bad thing, it doesn't make you not human or normal. And being different can make you feel special. I know that because of dp and/or being a bit of deep thinker, it means that bcos you get the lows, you appreciate the highs more than others. I appreciate certain things so much more, nature etc and have strong emotions towards people. This may be the reason you get dp or vice versa, but feeling special doesn't have to be bad thing I think. I'm naturally positive and believe there has to be good things to come out of dp. 
The one downside to feeling different/special, is in the back of my mind, I thought that because my thinking was so far advanced and complicated, that nothing would be able to put them right, nobody, no therapist would be able to penetrate my mind. It dawned on me the other day that I am physiologically exactly the same as anyone else here, and my brain is not some special impenetrative device. Therefore, it is possible to stop obsessive thinking, it is possible that therapy could straighten my thoughts out. I have read self help books and whilst the words made sense, and quite often worked, deep down, I had this sense of 'this doesn't really apply to me, my brain is far too complicated for it to work'. But i realised i was putting some guard up by thinking like this. Maybe this stops a lot of dp'ers from getting better. I have always thought that you have to believe that you can get better.

Actually that's all a load of crap, the reason we feel special is I think we were chosen by the little green men to undergo this experience as part of a government testing policy that they are collaborating on with the aliens. We are special, we are the chosen ones, and when the Aliens come, we will be rewarded for our efforts and allowed to live peacefully alongside of them.

Sorry, I just got a bit confused, I just bought DVD box set X-Files and watched 5 back to back. God knows what Mulder would make of this website.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I exercise my brain too much, either a result of dp or what has caused it. Therefore I experience things/interpret things to people who don't have dp. Same for everyone here I guess. So, yes, we do feel different to others. Wanting to feel like other people, fitting in, everybody has that at some point Im sure. And having a mental illness is such a taboo subject that it alienates you even more. So don't beat yourself up for feeling different, cos even non dp people feel like that! Being different doesn't have to be bad thing, it doesn't make you not human or normal. And being different can make you feel special. I know that because of dp and/or being a bit of deep thinker, it means that bcos you get the lows, you appreciate the highs more than others. I appreciate certain things so much more, nature etc and have strong emotions towards people. This may be the reason you get dp or vice versa, but feeling special doesn't have to be bad thing I think. I'm naturally positive and believe there has to be good things to come out of dp. 
The one downside to feeling different/special, is in the back of my mind, I thought that because my thinking was so far advanced and complicated, that nothing would be able to put them right, nobody, no therapist would be able to penetrate my mind. It dawned on me the other day that I am physiologically exactly the same as anyone else here, and my brain is not some special impenetrative device. Therefore, it is possible to stop obsessive thinking, it is possible that therapy could straighten my thoughts out. I have read self help books and whilst the words made sense, and quite often worked, deep down, I had this sense of 'this doesn't really apply to me, my brain is far too complicated for it to work'. But i realised i was putting some guard up by thinking like this. Maybe this stops a lot of dp'ers from getting better. I have always thought that you have to believe that you can get better.

Actually that's all a load of crap, the reason we feel special is I think we were chosen by the little green men to undergo this experience as part of a government testing policy that they are collaborating on with the aliens. We are special, we are the chosen ones, and when the Aliens come, we will be rewarded for our efforts and allowed to live peacefully alongside of them.

Sorry, I just got a bit confused, I just bought DVD box set X-Files and watched 5 back to back. God knows what Mulder would make of this website.


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2004)

G-funk,



> I have read self help books and whilst the words made sense, and quite often worked, deep down, I had this sense of 'this doesn't really apply to me, my brain is far too complicated for it to work'. But i realised i was putting some guard up by thinking like this. Maybe this stops a lot of dp'ers from getting better.


I do that too. Thanks for pointing that out. Im aware that I do this often, thinking, this doesnt apply to me etc. To me its also a way of protection myself. And at the same time keeps me from getting better.
Funny you mention it. What would be the risk if we let that guard down?
Then we see how ordinary we actually are...lol (I cant say Im an ordinary person even if I did drop the guard..lol), but seriously there is a risk.
And it keeps us from growing.
At the same time I exclude myself from life. Its safe though.



> God knows what Mulder would make of this website.


Actually, G-funk, he lives in my building. Ive got an F. Mulder living on the first floor, but he's never home. Sometimes at night I hear someone stumbling down the hallway and then I think this must be him. Then in the morning when I check to see if it was him, I see the X on his window and then I KNOW.
I spoke to him once and he said to me: the truth IS out there, Wendy, you only gotta want to see it.
I asked him: well, how do I do it?
He said, Wendy, you have a special gift and you dont realize it, YET.
I said: then what do I have to do to realize it?
He said: Wendy, you gotta want to believe.

Up to this day, I havent found it. lol


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## Guest (Sep 27, 2004)

G-funk,



> I have read self help books and whilst the words made sense, and quite often worked, deep down, I had this sense of 'this doesn't really apply to me, my brain is far too complicated for it to work'. But i realised i was putting some guard up by thinking like this. Maybe this stops a lot of dp'ers from getting better.


I do that too. Thanks for pointing that out. Im aware that I do this often, thinking, this doesnt apply to me etc. To me its also a way of protection myself. And at the same time keeps me from getting better.
Funny you mention it. What would be the risk if we let that guard down?
Then we see how ordinary we actually are...lol (I cant say Im an ordinary person even if I did drop the guard..lol), but seriously there is a risk.
And it keeps us from growing.
At the same time I exclude myself from life. Its safe though.



> God knows what Mulder would make of this website.


Actually, G-funk, he lives in my building. Ive got an F. Mulder living on the first floor, but he's never home. Sometimes at night I hear someone stumbling down the hallway and then I think this must be him. Then in the morning when I check to see if it was him, I see the X on his window and then I KNOW.
I spoke to him once and he said to me: the truth IS out there, Wendy, you only gotta want to see it.
I asked him: well, how do I do it?
He said, Wendy, you have a special gift and you dont realize it, YET.
I said: then what do I have to do to realize it?
He said: Wendy, you gotta want to believe.

Up to this day, I havent found it. lol


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2004)

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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I had no idea this post about Mulder was here. Had I known, I would have been on the case long ago. Is there any chance you could point Mulder in my direction? Tell him I BELIEVE. And also ask him if he fancies going out for a couple of drinks.

Also, having felt that 'specialness' that a lot of people here describe, it is so comforting to realise that you are indeed human, like everyone else. You are not immune to receiving help...


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2004)

Wendy,
You're a better chick than I am, lol...you're on the right track, too. I fought being 'ordinary" tooth and nail. Oh, I was more than willing to find out I was only Human, but having to give up being BETTER than human was very hard to swallow.

g-funk: Hands off Mulder. I am a moderator which means I get first choice on anyone that any member mentions on this site (perhaps you didn't read the fine print in the terms section). You also have a boyfriend. You also have shared some recent self-insights regarding your own issues re relationships and trust and your parents' relationship, etc. It would be detrimental to your growth to pursue Mulder at this time.

Wendy, I'll be in touch.
LOL,
J
a HUGE x-fan


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2004)

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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

when i was little i only related to animals and i really believed that i wasnt a human being at all. cause humans are evil and mean and hurt everything around them. cold and selfish. plundering the earth and its resources and hurting each other. feeling more like an animal was another way of dissociating from the horrors around me. but as my life has gone on.. and ive experienced even more horrors and have created these horrors myself, ive felt much much more human. too human for my taste to the point where i feel totally disgusted. like im living in a shell of pure poop and i want so desperately to seperate myself from this reality of being homosapien.


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

SoulBrotha, I really liked your answer, I hope you did not mind my saying so.

This illness we suffer is very difficult and it is hurts so much but one thing we must believe in is ourselves, we are human, we are in an illness that can sometimes make us feel like we are not.

gem.


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