# what is existense???????(ahhhhhh)



## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

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## The Wraith (Feb 2, 2006)

I can understand what that feels like. That is what a psychoactive does.....It actives a psychotic part in your brain that you normaly aren't supposed to have to rely on for rationalization.

I have latley, as of the past 3 months, been going through a whole phase of dr where I believe I am a hologram....well I don't believe I am one..I am just so detached feeling that I constantly worry that my body is going to peel apart like 2 sheets of wax paper or just *disappear. It is a horrifying feeling. What I have isn't drug induced however. I don't think anyone can really pinpoint their cause of dp. However I believe that it is innate in certain people and over time it developes silently and gets misdiagnosed until it is full blown dp/dr.

I wish you well on your road to recovery.


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

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## Television (Aug 2, 2005)

I had that really hardcore, where the existential thought comes in bursts of vividness, like for a moment you really just don't understand anything about life. When i was in it, all i could think was "my life is ruined. I will never get over this, and if life doesn't make sense then there is no real reason to invest in anything." Needless to say, it DOES go away, and while it does emerge from time to time, it is nowhere near as vivid, and its easierto brush off. I also have to agree that the downside of the existential thought is depression, but the upside for me at least is that it truly made me realize the awesomeness of the universe, and that its almost impossible for me to not think there's some sort of higher power.


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

I highly recommend the following for reassurance as well as information:

The Experience of No-Self by Bernadette Roberts
The Path to No-Self' by Bernadette Roberts
What is Self? by Bernadette Roberts
Collision with the Infinite by Suzanne Segal

Found these a few years ago and they saved my sanity. I'm not saying these books supply all the answers but they sure did reassure me that I may actually not be nuts.

There is more to this than meets the eye. MHO


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

Whenever I grow anxious about existence or what it means to be living, I find reassuring myself with the words "Fear is real, therefore I am real" helps me snap out of potentially day-ruining DP/anxiety.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> feels like an alien has inhabited my mind and is using it for observation


I have had that exact same thought before.

There was a time when I was almost positive that I was not really a human being because I felt like the person I used to be was destroyed or kidnaped by aliens and I was the replacement. I've had thoughts that I was just an alien robot here to act like Steven Long but the real Steven Long was somewhere else far far away. These thoughts would make me totaly paranoid. I am not as bad anymore but I still feel like I am not real. This all still feels like a dream to me but it is getting less nightmarish because I am more in control of the dream now.

Gosh that sounded pretty crazy  .


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

LOSTONE said:


> > feels like an alien has inhabited my mind and is using it for observation
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Nah, not really. :wink: 
I've had that feeling of being an 'observation post' myself. It's such a weird thing. Friends or family would wonder why meds didn't work, nothing worked and would accuse me of not wanting to be well. How do you explain to somebody that what you have going on 'has you,' you don't 'have it?' It's not like having the flu. You certainly do feel like you're participating in the runny nose, chills, and rigors and that you have some measure of contact and control. But not DP. You're just traveling around with your body waiting to see what you do next, thinking things and having stuff going on internally and it's all just curious, so curious. :lol:


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> But not DP. You're just traveling around with your body waiting to see what you do next, thinking things and having stuff going on internally and it's all just curious, so curious.


To make it worse for me I have become religious so from time to time I feel as if it is not aliens but demons are doing this to me. I really have felt like the presences of demons were taking over my body and making me feel this way. At other times it would get so bad that it felt like the demons and angels were both tormenting me wich lead me to believe that God was evil or something. I realize now that most of this is just due to the enormous amount of drugs I have done in my early years.

I wish I wouldn't have been so stupid when I was a child  .


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

LOSTONE said:


> > But not DP. You're just traveling around with your body waiting to see what you do next, thinking things and having stuff going on internally and it's all just curious, so curious.
> 
> 
> To make it worse for me I have become religious so from time to time I feel as if it is not aliens but demons are doing this to me. I really have felt like the presences of demons were taking over my body and making me feel this way. At other times it would get so bad that it felt like the demons and angels were both tormenting me wich lead me to believe that God was evil or something. I realize now that most of this is just due to the enormous amount of drugs I have done in my early years.
> ...


You're in a lot of good company with that last statement. Except I was 20 when I did the stupidest thing I ever did.....married an abusive man. That's what started all this. It was downhill from there.

As for the 'demons or aliens or any other form of something out to get me', I have a lot of thoughts about that...or rather I did have. I resolved all that thank goodness. It took tons of reading, hours of thinking and contemplating, and the willingness to 'allow' for possibilities outside my normal realm of thought until 'evidence' could present itself. Things on this planet happen in 'time' so we have to give 'time' for understanding to emerge. We focus in an absent sort of way on whatever thought, theory or concept concerns us and just leave space for information to come to us in whatever way. And it will. Guaranteed. But not if you refuse to allow for other possibilities. "There are none so blind as those who will not see." That's true regardless of where the quote comes from.

Heck, I'm just rambling on here. The bottom line: demons, aliens, whatever are 'old brain', genetically passed on, imaginative neuronal pictures that have no ultimate reality. The 'body' 'feels' that they have reality because it's its job to protect itself and will react to anything that is perceived as a threat to it's life or integrity...wholeness in mass. The trick is to realize that 'who we are' in the ultimate sense, is NOT the body. BUT the body has its genetically-driven 'rules' for self-protection. Included is the physical brain/mind. WE are NOT our biological brain nor are we the 'mind' associated with the physical brain. We operate within the parameters of those, but it's not who we are. "WE" are experiencing it all but we are not WHAT we are experiencing.

Hellfire, I'm doing it again. Not making much sense. But it took me a long time to connect a bunch a dots. No way can I lay it all out in a post. :wink:

There is nothing to fear....not even 'fear itself', in spite of what Franklin Delano Roosevelt says. Fear is an emotion just like jealousy, desire, etc. The only difference is what it's purpose is and that is to warn the human body's biological brain (notice I didn't say human 'being.') of danger...whether real or imagined.....either of which the body defines as 'real.'

Your body is just using all of its faculties (imagination, too, is a function of the physical brain) to alert you to what it defines as danger. If the body's systems have any kind of sense of loss of its integrity, it's gonna punch every button it knows of. The volume goes up when 'fear' turns into 'terror.' 'Terror' is a result of sensing impending annihilation...not just of death but of 'spiritual' death. The 'concept' the body holds of 'spiritual death' comes directly from genetic pre-disposition to an emotional construct that is either re-enforced by others, developed consciously, or undermined in the person's life. The buttons the body/mind punches will be and are interpreted by the conceptual brain which is the core of the 'personality' and its defined 'markers' of 'self' in the body. The fear will 'look like' (actually it's an interpretation) whatever material it has to work with in that body. You notice that not everybody has the same fear constructs. That's because everybody has a unique biological/genetic/cultural(tribal) and social makeup.

Boy, that's a dose idn't it? har har Left field!! I can hear it now. Oh well. I just let myself go there to see where it would take me. I kind of 'go away' when I get into this stuff.

Just take anything that helps and blow the rest of it or all of it to the winds....


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

That makes sense to me.

The terror is enormus at times and it would seem logical for the brain to try and make some sense out of the horror it is going through.

I used to believe in aliens wich would explain that thought and now I believe in demons and angels wich explains why my thoughts have switched from aliens to demons. My brain is just tieing in my horror and terror with my beliefs to try and make sense of what it is going through.

 Makes total sense to me  .

Deep down I always knew this.


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

P. S. to my previous post here:

MHO, the body has separate systems that work independently but in 'concert' with all the others. When 'all is well', we are comfortable in our 'skin.'

The systems are: mental, emotional, physical, and that 'other' that is 'greater than the sum of its parts' SELF. Within each of these systems there are levels of 'development' for lack of better way to put it. There is also a 'hierarchy of need' for each one.

The physical body can be developed to a high degree of expression, beauty and performance if all else is equal.

The emotional body can be developed to a high degree of expression, joyous feelings, all-encompassing love for another, 'spiritual' ecstacies, etc., if all else is equal.

The mind can be developed to a high degree of expression, genius in many forms, art, scientific theorums, invention, etc., if all else is equal.

All of these systems can be developed individually or in combination, or in total. It's just whatever the person wants to do with themselves and, more importantly, the tools they have to work with and the desire and commitment to proceed. These systems can impact each other for good or ill with or without the control of or 'permission' of their 'owner'...the 'self' that's greater than the sum of its parts.

MHO, the current state of 'consciousness/awareness', whatever you want to call it, experiences 'spiritual' 'feelings' that may only be a higher form of the normal, chemical emotional reaction in the physical body. It may not be the 'last word', no matter how good it feels, as to what 'spirituality' ultimately is.....particularly if we accept that we are NOT the body and its functions....we are merely experiencing it.....explorers with amnesia on a plane of physicality.

If our emotional system goes into 'shock', what's left? WE are still here, right? We just don't recognize that particular aspect of 'self' because it's not there anymore. But that's just the body's chemical identification marker and it's just the one arena, the emotions. But 'we' are still here. So does that mean that lack of an emotional sense of 'God's presence', for example, means that there is no God? Does it mean there is no 'spiritual' aspect to being alive...at all? Does it mean that all the feelings and thoughts associated with those feelings and concepts built around those feelings aren't really real? Exactly. They are not 'ultimately' real. But you're still here.* [edited to add:]* *The emotions are one aspect of experience in the physical body. Their absence does not negate the 'reality' of life nor does it negate the possibility of other forms of existence...i.e., afterlife. It's absence merely points out that life continues without it....it is not essential. And nobody here, that I know of, has turned into an axe murderer as a result of losing their emotional 'moral markers.'*

But, since we're here and there's a lot of knowledge out there about this place, we just go ahead and deal with what's in front of us...or not. har If 'science' (the mind) makes us feel better, go for it. If 'spirituality'(emotion) makes us feel better, go for it. If being strong and healthy (the body) makes us feel better, go for it. Or any combination of the above. If any of those are malfunctioning and can't do their job, just know that you don't have to take it personally. :lol:

Just a taste of what goes in my head....but that's just MY head. I allow that it may not bear any resemblance, real or imagined, to anyone else's. It's like fingerprints or DNA....singular and unique. heh heh

[dismount...][/b]


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

LOSTONE said:


> That makes sense to me.
> 
> The terror is enormus at times and it would seem logical for the brain to try and make some sense out of the horror it is going through.
> 
> ...


 Well, there ya go. Trust yourself. :wink:


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