# Hello =) Its Troubled Me



## Oryiah (Jan 17, 2006)

Hello. My name is Ramona. I'm 23 and I am actually a Psychiatry student. When I was about 11, I experienced some intense light-headedness from a heat stroke and passed out. After that I was able to "trigger" the same light headed like feeling when I worried about it. Pretty soon I was constantly obsessing over feeling light headed and so every time I did obsess, I felt it. Now, 12 years later I'm still battling this feeling. Depersonalization or Derealization seems to be the closest thing I can come up with to diagnose myself. Of course its contributed from my OCD which I have had since very early childhood. My surroundings seem to be about half as real is normal.

I dont experience any physical symptoms at all, its all mental. I can respond to people and situations (although I always dread driving because I feel like I will cause a crash from feeling unreal) but I constantly live in fear that my DR/DP will ruin upcoming events that I look forward to. While experiencing it I feel trapped in these thoughts and feelings. I love when I forget about it. I think talking about it with others who understand what im going through may help me. What frustrates me greatly is I worry that it will ruin my schooling and the rest of my life.

I was on Zoloft and Clonazepam for 3 years. Recently I stopped taking it because I started to feel like maybe I could do this on my own. The mental health system here in New Mexico is horrible. But after 3 months of being off my meds my OCD is back full throttle and I am considering other treatment options. Being in school for Psychiatry has meant that I have to get off these meds and get healthy. Its another stress that doesnt help me right now. I just want to live my life without all the worry. Even if it just subsides enough to allow me to do the things I want and enjoy them.


----------



## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

:?


----------



## Guest (Mar 5, 2006)

Oryiah wrote: "..I can respond to people and situations (although I always dread driving because I feel like I will cause a crash from feeling unreal) .."

Oh my god can I relate to this!!! It's horrifying!!! It happens to me a lot, especially when I have to drive more than a few miles. It's like driving a fairly good distance, particularly on the freeway where there aren't a lot of turns and stops to get your attention, and suddenly feeling like you're leaving your dadgum body....or part of you is, anyway. The horrible thing is that you don't know if it's the part you need to be able to stay on the road or not. :lol: I joke but it's scary as hell! It happened just the other day when I had drive 50 miles to get an MRI done on a bum shoulder. I had to 'will' myself (or 'whoever or whatever that was') to stay with me. It was sooo bizarre. I put part of my attention on my mid-back and after a couple of seconds, it stopped. Don't ask me why I did it that way. I don't know. I can't swear that doing that is what 'brought it back.' But if I took some attention off my mid to lower back, it felt like it was gonna fly off again and I could feel something sort of 'fade' in my head.

But enough of that. I just had this 'burning share' since it happened (again) so recently.

I would think you could sue those people if your meds cause them to give you a hard time. As long as you haven't created a disturbance and you're doing the course work, what do they care? Seems obvious to us, but those 'academics' can be anal retentive. :x


----------

