# Snapping out of a three year DP (not chemically induced)



## quietwar (Nov 24, 2008)

I've had two prolonged episodes of DP that I can remember - once when I was 12, lasting about 2 years, and the other at 17 lasting 3 years (I'm 20 now).

At 17, this guy 8 years past my age raped me. The next morning I woke up I was never the same again - everything I knew about me went out the window and I did not recognize myself. The feeling in itself was beyond words so all I could do is just go through the motions - and this included being in a relationship with the man. 

I did not know what happened that night although I would have flashbacks - I almost felt as though I was in the background and somebody was controlling my thoughts & actions. Example; the memory of that night would intrude and the other person in my body would stop me at my tracks and change the subject so to speak.

I didn't have the feeling that I was 'special', in fact it was the complete opposite: I felt invisible. I'd feel physically detatched from my body, couldn't feel anything physically - I think of my DP as a 3 year state of shock that I just started to awake from. I once was at a party during the beginning of DP and somebody told me that I was staring at a static waved screen for a good 2 hours not responding to anyone around me. :roll:

This is how I've become unglued to this disorder:
1) saw a therapist. i didn't talk to anyone about what i was thinking and feeling - maybe due to anxiety. the minute i walked into the therapist office the memories came back to me and as i walked home, the colours of the world around me came alive. all my senses came back to me - i could taste, smell, see colours, and hear everything so clearly.

2) dropped my friends made new ones. i dont know about everyone else but on my onset of DP, i adopted friends that just were not healthy. I dropped them, found new ones, and am now dropping them again to find more supportive friends. Each time I know what I want from myself, I know what I want in a friend. Envioroment helps A TON! (and yes this includes cutting that asshole from my life completely!)

3) Realized after I came back from my therapist office that I never "lost myself" - I was always there in the background. If it isn't that obvious or dramatic switch to you, it will come gradually. But either way, you have to reinvent yourself. Don't worry about what you lost, work about building yourself up.

4) Come up with goals, the good and the great. Go after the great. Make sure these are within reasonable, realistic wishes.

5) take. it. slow. You can't rush the healing process. If you think you can just say "ok, I'm cured!" and try to stick to that mindset it's not gonna stick. Although I feel as though I've 'snapped out of it' and am NOWHERE near the severity of my DP from 3 years, I still dissociate. You may find it helpful to read about 'grounding' for when you're slipping back.

6) i still have issues with speaking (structuring sentences to where they make sense or unfreezing my jaw) but I just make fun of myself and make people laugh as I stumble from word to word.  this may be easiest for people who are quirky in behavior!

7) get out more.

It's tough, but hang in there!  it WILL get better!


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## champion4life (Sep 7, 2008)

Hi, great advice and im glad you are doing better, Im sorry about what happened to you. I totally agree with you about the friends you choose, i am 29 now and sadly almost lost all contact with my childhood friends. As we get older i think we learn to choose who is good for us rather than hang with the popular crowd. being from a small town in california where everyone know you it was difficult for me to let go of my past friends but once i did i felt my stress levels drop big time!! i now hang with more positive and supportive people.... remember no matter how bad this sucks keep smiling at life one day we will all be ok!! :wink:


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## champion4life (Sep 7, 2008)

Hi, great advice and im glad you are doing better, Im sorry about what happened to you. I totally agree with you about the friends you choose, i am 29 now and sadly almost lost all contact with my childhood friends. As we get older i think we learn to choose who is good for us rather than hang with the popular crowd. being from a small town in california where everyone know you it was difficult for me to let go of my past friends but once i did i felt my stress levels drop big time!! i now hang with more positive and supportive people.... remember no matter how bad this sucks keep smiling at life one day we will all be ok!! :wink:


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