# Setbacks



## Hogan1010 (Mar 12, 2016)

Does anyone have setbacks that don't feel like they are getting better?

I have had dp for 5 years every second of the day and was getting to the point where I could live my life and work without thinking about it. However the last two months something happened and I feel way more disconnected than usual. I'm not sure if I actually am worse than I was but I certainly think it seems worse.

Does anyone have experience in the questions above?

Also is there any hope of recovering since I have had this so long and I have it 24/7?


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

You can absolutely get to the point where you can function, and then it comes back. And I'll try my best to explain why this would happen. DP is a form of dissociating from strong emotions that you have experienced. I'm certain about this. If you were brave enough to push yourself to live your life without worrying about your symptoms, I applaud you. That's a great first step. But, if you don't resolve the issues in your life that you have dissociated from, DP is going to keep coming back, usually during times in your life that are stressful or emotionally painful. There's no way around it. There is one, single, specific way to cure yourself from DP and move on with your life. It takes a lot of work to admit these things to yourself. But I swear I am completely absolutely DP free now, I promise you. And I wish more people would listen to the real solution, because it is rewarding, and life can be so fulfilling if these things can be moved past.


----------



## TimMis (Mar 21, 2016)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> I'm getting sick & tired of people making the assumption that DP is only ever psychological. It is not. There are plently of people who got it from a bad drug experience alone, who had little to no emotionaly painful experiences, & many others who got it out of the blue for no apparent reason. The is also a huge amount of people who have terrible emotional experiences & yet don't get it at all; think about it (no really, stop & actually think about it).
> 
> Yes, for you & others emotional pain may have been the trigger, I accept that fact, but that's not the case for everyone. By making statements like these you are discounting the experiences of other people who didn't get it the same way you did, & are inadvertantly invalidating the reality of their experience. What do you think; is undermining a certain fellow sufferers reality gonna make them feel better, or worse?
> 
> There is more than one thing that can trigger DP, just accept that fact, & please stop trying to enforce your one size fits all ideas.


You're right but I think it's a bit scary for a lot of newcomers to here you'rs story. One time acid and fucked for years. It is really unusually it gets so bad, especially for the drug triggers. I have a lot of empathy that you screwed your brain so hard, but remember that's not the case for most people.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> I'm getting sick & tired of people making the assumption that DP is only ever psychological. It is not. There are plently of people who got it from a bad drug experience alone, who had little to no emotionaly painful experiences, & many others who got it out of the blue for no apparent reason. The is also a huge amount of people who have terrible emotional experiences & yet don't get it at all; think about it (no really, stop & actually think about it).
> 
> Yes, for you & others emotional pain may have been the trigger, I accept that fact, but that's not the case for everyone. By making statements like these you are discounting the experiences of other people who didn't get it the same way you did, & are inadvertantly invalidating the reality of their experience. What do you think; is undermining a certain fellow sufferers reality gonna make them feel better, or worse?
> 
> There is more than one thing that can trigger DP, just accept that fact, & please stop trying to enforce your one size fits all ideas.


I honestly understand how it's frustrating to see people pushing these ideas on people who are suffering. I know that it comes off as pretentious. I just really want to help people come to conclusions that I had ignored in the past. Two years ago, I'd be supporting your comment and telling the guy who says it's psychological abuse to fuck off. Then I actually gave those advices a try because nothing else worked, and I slowly saw that it all applied to my life, and everything that was once annoying to me made sense. I am just 100% certain that everyone here can recover if they take some time to consider if these things MAYBE apply to their lives. I hope you understand my rhetoric. Not trying to annoy people, or jump to conclusions. I'm trying to motivate people based on what has worked for me, and through doing the work, it all started to make sense to me that there is only one specific way someone can acquire DP.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> I'm getting sick & tired of people making the assumption that DP is only ever psychological. It is not. There are plently of people who got it from a bad drug experience alone, who had little to no emotionaly painful experiences, & many others who got it out of the blue for no apparent reason. The is also a huge amount of people who have terrible emotional experiences & yet don't get it at all; think about it (no really, stop & actually think about it).
> 
> Yes, for you & others emotional pain may have been the trigger, I accept that fact, but that's not the case for everyone. By making statements like these you are discounting the experiences of other people who didn't get it the same way you did, & are inadvertantly invalidating the reality of their experience. What do you think; is undermining a certain fellow sufferers reality gonna make them feel better, or worse?
> 
> There is more than one thing that can trigger DP, just accept that fact, & please stop trying to enforce your one size fits all ideas.


And yes, there are many people who have had bad emotional experiences but no DP. And that is the was humans are supposed to work. Something bad happens to you, and you work your way out of it, process the experience, move on. People with DP experiences emotional issues that they weren't aware of. Things in our pasts hurt us soooo bad, but we are the type of people who want to consider other's feelings, so we don't allow ourselves to feel the pain. When I started to get in touch with this pain, I realized how wrong I had been. Then when things started making sense to me, DP went away. Because I validated my own feelings.


----------



## intothequarry (May 16, 2015)

5 years isn't that long and honestly, there have been points I've lived life and been like "Oh, I feel great.. It's gone" and can go through this for a month but the past 3 days I feel like a lunatic. Went to a hockey game last night and the colors were so vivid. I kept (inner monologue) saying.. I can't believe I'm real, that this is all real, is this a movie? Am I existing? But then I'm like.. I remember not having an inner monologue and this is WAY better than that. So to simply answer your question YES you can have setbacks. I've had In n Out burger during a diet more than once.. Just gotta keep on pushing through.


----------



## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

CharlieFreak said:


> there is only one specific way someone can acquire DP.


did you not read his previous post? You are a moron.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

thy said:


> did you not read his previous post? You are a moron.


If you ask anyone who TRULY recovered from it, you will hear the same words come out of their mouths. I never heard of anyone recovering by undoing damage done by a drug trip. This shit doesn't haver to stick with you forever. Life doesn't have to be a living hell every day. DP isn't some out of this world thing. And again, a couple years ago, I'd be saying the same thing, that who ever says this is a moron.


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

To be honest I wonder whether people who have initially had this problem caused by a foreign chemical are actually suffering from the same thing as people who have had this caused by emotional stress. Or whether the symptoms are just close enough that it seems so.

For me there is absolutely no way whatsoever that this would have happened if I hadn't tried smoking that shit that one time. There is absolutely no way that trying to look for some past emotional trauma would help me because there isn't one.

I can fully understand that someone who has had alot of emotional trauma could bury that deep and start to feel Disassociated somehow. But that type of thing is so totally not me.

The thing that healed me last time was I think was neuroplasticity, in that my brain managed to recover.

This is just a guess but I would think that people who have had this chemically induced initially suffer more from Dr like symptoms such as messed up vision and people who have had this caused by emotional suppression suffer more from dp like symptoms.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> To be honest I wonder whether people who have initially had this problem caused by a foreign chemical are actually suffering from the same thing as people who have had this caused by emotional stress. Or whether the symptoms are just close enough that it seems so.
> 
> For me there is absolutely no way whatsoever that this would have happened if I hadn't tried smoking that shit that one time. There is absolutely no way that trying to look for some past emotional trauma would help me because there isn't one.
> 
> ...


Please don't get me wrong, you can absolutely recover from DP that was triggered by a drug. It's what happened to me. I smoked a lot of weed, and it fucked me up. I thought the "brain damage" was irreversible. And I did get myself to a functioning state where I lived my life, I was somewhat happy, didn't obsess over symptoms. But it came back. It was then that I forced myself to consider if I had emotional trauma, because at that time I said fuck no way, I had such a happy life. But the nature of DP is denial. That's what is so difficult, and why a lot of people will never recover. Denial is a crazy beast, and it takes a lot of courage to face these facts. But all of you have the courage, because it also takes courage to wake up every day and keep fighting. People who get DP are STRONG people, who have a need to know why they are suffering. I just want people to know that they don't suffer for no reason, and that drugs, stress, panic attacks, existential thoughts are things that trigger DP, but don't cause them. But most people are going to tell me I'm an idiot, and that I'm wrong. I'm okay with that, but I still stand by what I say. Not because I want to prove anyone wrong, but it kills me to see people here who think that they are fucked for life, because that is so wrong. There is SO MUCH HOPE. Everyone here can recover. I'm so god damn sure about that. I've done a tremendous amount of research on all this stuff, applied it to my life, saw results, saw where I was wrong in my denial, started feeling good (but still questioned if I was wrong), kept pushing. My feelings got into line, started feeling more like myself. Now I look back at my previous idea about what DP is and I laugh. I really do wish the best for all of you, and if you don't agree with me, I'm okay with that


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Hey Charlie,

I don't think you're an idiot at all. I applaud you for trying to help people on this forum. Just something to think about though, in the context of your saying that facing emotional trauma is the only way to recover.

Back when I initially got this thing in 2002 from that one weed smoking episode ( oh how much I regret that! ) this forum probably didn't even exist. I was sure, like you say, that the only thing it could be was brain damage. I didn't discuss it with anyone because I was so ashamed and distraught that I had done this ( however unwittingly and unfairly from just doing it one time ) to myself. I did after a few months have 1 meeting with a psychologist which lasted about an hour, she didn't have a clue what it was an thought I was just depressed.

So other than that I just suffered through it, didn't face any emotional traumas etc, and after 2 to 3 years it gradually went away to the point were I was cured. I still remembered the symptoms of course but I didn't have them anymore.

So really the only thing that cured me was time and the brain healing itself or returning to a normal state.


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Now due to the way it's been triggered again for me, I know that there's either the very unlikely possibility that due to me being possibly the only person who had a CT scan while in that horrible drugged state and then having one again all these years later, that somehow the radiation has had a direct effect on my brain. Or that this thing has somehow been retriggered by my subconscious mind remembering that the last time I was in a CT scan I was in a horrible state, so it's retriggered it.

Now like the OP I'm also going through it every second of the day 24/7.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> Hey Charlie,
> 
> I don't think you're an idiot at all. I applaud you for trying to help people on this forum. Just something to think about though, in the context of your saying that facing emotional trauma is the only way to recover.
> 
> ...


I absolutely agree. And you did all the right things for yourself, and it sounds very similar to what happened to me. It did go away, completely. And I had still thought it was all the weed I smoked, the stress from school, etc. I though, "okay, that sucked a lot, but I'm better now." I had a few lingering things, like my jaw was tense, I sometimes had a little depression, but for the most part, I was good. What I hadn't done though, and in my opinion the most important stuff, was recognize all of the things about myself that got me into DP in the first place. And when it came time for me to move across country, start a new life for myself, I got DP again. Looking back, it makes sense. I had recovered from DP, but didn't really have a solid sense of who I was, because I still had unresolved aspects about myself. And those were things that were really difficult to admit to myself. I realized that if I don't get to the root of these parts of who I am, DP is just going to keep coming back with every big life event, or if I smoked weed again, or if I had a very stressful event. Then I started looking into why I dissociate from my emotions, and it all made sense. I realized that the only reason marijuana triggers DP is because it relaxes you to a state where your buried emotions will surface, things that DP people don't want to face. I hope that makes sense. Again, these are all just ideas that I'm throwing out, and I could very well be wrong, but just try to consider if they can apply to your life. If they do, you might see results. If they don't, oh well at least you tried.


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Hey Charlie

I think I see what's going on here and why the same solution doesn't always work.

For me when I smoked that weed one time (and to be honest when I think about the asshole who offered it to us I'll bet it was some serious messed up strong stuff he had in there) it wasn't a relaxing experience at all. It was a horrendous terrifying experience. It didn't bring up buried emotions or anything like that it just seriously screwed up my brain.

There's really no supressed emotions for me to face. I wish it was something like that in away because at least then you have some control over what to do.

Thanks anyway for your ideas, they could well be suitable for someone in a different situation.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> Hey Charlie
> I think I see what's going on here and why the same solution doesn't always work.
> For me when I smoked that weed one time (and to be honest when I think about the asshole who offered it to us I'll bet it was some serious messed up strong stuff he had in there) it wasn't a relaxing experience at all. It was a horrendous terrifying experience. It didn't bring up buried emotions or anything like that it just seriously screwed up my brain.
> There's really no supressed emotions for me to face. I wish it was something like that in away because at least then you have some control over what to do.
> Thanks anyway for your ideas, they could well be suitable for someone in a different situation.


Sounds like pretty much the exact thing that happened to me. Sounds like the same thoughts I had. I too had my brain scanned for damage


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Wow, that is interesting. I'm in a really bad state at the moment mate, whereas in December I was in really peak health.

A few hours ago I was overcome with a serious fatigue, I think it's the mental drain it's taking to fight this thing.

Do you remember how you managed to escape this the first time? How long did it take if you don't mind me asking?


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> Wow, that is interesting. I'm in a really bad state at the moment mate, whereas in December I was in really peak health.
> A few hours ago I was overcome with a serious fatigue, I think it's the mental drain it's taking to fight this thing.
> Do you remember how you managed to escape this the first time? How long did it take if you don't mind me asking?


Yes of course it's exhausting! That shit sucks so much and I know you want to get better. I can't tell you how long it will take, it's up to you. What I can tell you is the longer you hold onto the idea that your brain is damaged (which you know isn't true because you're asking for reassurance) the more pain you'll cause yourself. You need to truly understand that NOTHING has changed in you, you're just really confused about these symptoms, which is very understandable. You could suffer for a few weeks or a few years, depending on your willingness to do the hard work to recover. You need to ask yourself right now if that's what you want and then commit and be certain that you are okay.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Btw I was once convinced that I hugged someone who was sweating out LSD and this caused week long fatigue. Sounds silly right?


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Lol that is funny. A couple of weeks ago I was in KFC and some random person started talking to me about his health problems, probably including numerous exotic diseases, just as he was sharing this news with me he managed to spit right in my eye. I was like oh thanks for that!

Having had this once and then being fine and now having it again gives me a better insight I think of what it is. I know this time that no drugs were involved so I know it's not caused by a chemical (like I say that was the trigger last time). What I think it is is (I know this is a strange analogy but I think it's pretty accurate) it's kind of like a turtle. In that normally the turtles head is out of its shell and all is well. But given the right kind of trigger and the turtles head disappears into its shell and its peering out at the world rather than being fully involved in it.

I think this is what happens and the brain somehow gets stuck in this kind of retreated into itself state. This then also screws up things like visual signals as your brain isn't able to process them properly as it's so retreated into its shell. The trick is trying to find out how to get the brain to stop focusing inwards and to start focusing outwards.


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Sorry I know that sounds like alot of mumbojumbo but it's the way I'm trying to say that it's some kind of system in the brain (I would guess quite an old primitive part) that is triggered under certain circumstances. It's not something you have direct conscious control over, otherwise you'd obviously just will it away, but hopefully there are ways you can make the brain re-adjust to its normal state quicker.

Like you say there's no actual brain damage, if nothing else the CT scan at least came back negative for that.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> Lol that is funny. A couple of weeks ago I was in KFC and some random person started talking to me about his health problems, probably including numerous exotic diseases, just as he was sharing this news with me he managed to spit right in my eye. I was like oh thanks for that!
> Having had this once and then being fine and now having it again gives me a better insight I think of what it is. I know this time that no drugs were involved so I know it's not caused by a chemical (like I say that was the trigger last time). What I think it is is (I know this is a strange analogy but I think it's pretty accurate) it's kind of like a turtle. In that normally the turtles head is out of its shell and all is well. But given the right kind of trigger and the turtles head disappears into its shell and its peering out at the world rather than being fully involved in it.
> I think this is what happens and the brain somehow gets stuck in this kind of retreated into itself state. This then also screws up things like visual signals as your brain isn't able to process them properly as it's so retreated into its shell. The trick is trying to find out how to get the brain to stop focusing inwards and to start focusing outwards.


That's a wonderful analogy. What is important to realize that it is not only your brain doing this, but you are doing this. You are not your brain, you're much more than that. And the reason you are hiding from the world is subconscious,you very well could have deep rooted beliefs about yourself that you're not in touch with. Start asking yourself why you behave certain ways when talking to people. Do you really truly speak your mind? If someone is caring and empathetic but grows up with a parent who emotionally abuses them in subtle ways, they'll never know it happened. The pain is still there. And it dictates the way they act around others. When it becomes too much to handle, we dissociate (turtle puts its head in its shell) DP people have been doing this their whole lives and they don't even know it. That's what makes recovery so difficult. It's about facing the world and these FALSE beliefs about yourself. Again, just my opinion.


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Hey Charlie,

You have a valid opinion and I appreciate you taking the time to write them down.

It really doesn't fit me though, honestly I have no parent or abuse issues or depression issues or anything that I could point to and think maybe that contributed to it. There really is nothing like that. I was quite lucky in my childhood and have very good parents. I also have no issues with self doubt or anxiety or anything like that.

My trauma is caused first time by the external chemical influence and this second time by, it would appear, my subconscious fear of what a CT scan could do to me.

I do enjoy sharing these messages with you though.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> Hey Charlie,
> 
> You have a valid opinion and I appreciate you taking the time to write them down.
> 
> ...


As do I!


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

To be honest this is kind of why I'm dubious about seeing a psychologist, as much as at this point I'm starting to get really quite sad at having to face this again, because I'm sure that they would try to find some emotional trauma reason behind it.

Then you would spend an hour with them going 'look my brain is malfunctioning and screwing up my vision due to some external influence, there are absolutely no emotional trauma points in me, none, zero' then they'd look at you and go 'hmmmm very interesting, so tell me how you felt when your father forgot to buy you that bike you wanted' and I'd just want to punch them.

I would say for me to get this through an emotional trauma just couldn't happen, it's just not who I am.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> Some people just seem to have an inherent weakness & predisposition to depersonalize. It can be triggered by many things, but to assume that there is always some kind of emotional trauma behind the triggering is asinine.
> 
> If someone who got DP from just doing LSD went round trying to convince everyone who had never done drugs that they must've done drugs because that's how they got DP, people would think they had lost the plot. It's just as ridiculous to try & convince everyone that they have some kind of emotional trauma, just because you have & that's what triggered your DP.
> 
> Charlie, I applaud your motives in wanting to help people, I really do. However, you could do with being a little bit less dogmatic when you go about it though.


I completely agree being dogmatic about things won't help people. I just know that a lot of people recover from drug induced DP (like I did once) and then it comes back, they end up back on this website, or they lose hope because they thought they recovered. I know that pain and that frustration. Emotional abuse didn't trigger my DP, a drug experience did. I spent four yours believing this was the cause of my DP. And I promise I won't be forceful in my rhetoric, but I want to offer you and all dpselfhelp members the idea that the only people who have recovered and feel a sense of certainty that they won't EVER have it again are the ones who work through these deep issues that are invisible at first, impossible to admit to yourself without an extremely critical standpoint. And maybe my full story will help...

In 2012 I moved away to college. Before this, I was always an extremely happy, motivated person. I played music, made films, etc. In college, I got into smoking pot. I started smoking every day and I had a really bad panic attack while smoking once and I got DP symptoms that didn't end up going away, the anxiety got worse. I was convinced I had lost my soul, the weed was laced, I had reached enlightenment, and a whole bunch of other crazy ideas. The next 6 months, I practiced relaxation techniques and socializing more and I got to a functioning state. I even was able to be myself, make jokes, make great music, etc. But something still felt off. I still felt a little numb. Then I started considering the fact that I had some deeper rooted issues. And it took some real convincing. I was sooo close to my parents, I loved them, spending time with them was very important to me. But the more I learned, and the more I applied it, I started to see little things, which turned to bigger things, and I slowly slipped out of denial, and really painful emotions (that I had absolutely no clue about) came up, and it was scary as shit, I felt like a child again. It blew my mind that these years I thought I had "recovered from DP," I had all these issues buried inside me. Once I worked through these issues, I started to feel much more relaxed, I started to see my life more clearly, my relationships clearly, I felt far more motivated.

Now I am working on films again, I have many friends, I am networking a lot, and love my life. Have you ever heard anyone on here say they LOVE their life? It's a great feeling.

Space Monkey, I truly understand your side of things, and if what I say bothers you, PLEASE do speak your mind. Just know that I'll also defend my view on things because I have a lot of certainty about it.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Dp123 said:


> To be honest this is kind of why I'm dubious about seeing a psychologist, as much as at this point I'm starting to get really quite sad at having to face this again, because I'm sure that they would try to find some emotional trauma reason behind it.
> 
> Then you would spend an hour with them going 'look my brain is malfunctioning and screwing up my vision due to some external influence, there are absolutely no emotional trauma points in me, none, zero' then they'd look at you and go 'hmmmm very interesting, so tell me how you felt when your father forgot to buy you that bike you wanted' and I'd just want to punch them.
> 
> I would say for me to get this through an emotional trauma just couldn't happen, it's just not who I am.


Right, I agree that type of therapy can be obnoxious. And I don't think that's the type of abuse that can cause DP. A lot of dads don't buy bikes for children. The ONLY type of emotional abuse that causes DP (and the confusion necessary) is the kind that nobody sees, that appears to be something else. It seems like people don't want me to go there, so if you're interested in talking about this stuff, feel free to PM me. I'll keep it off public because I don't want to cause any more anger.


----------



## Dp123 (Feb 3, 2016)

Hi Charlie,

I'm quite interested from a curiosity point what you think that is, and I'm sure you mean well, so feel free to PM me.

Honestly though there is absolutely zero chance whatsoever that this was caused to me by any emotional trigger whatsoever. There is nothing at all emotional.

It was caused purely the first time by that weed stuff and the second time by the CT scan.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> Charlie, I see that you're one of the "Harris Harrington brigade", it all makes sense now. I think I'll leave you to your delusions. Good luck.


His program is wonderful, but it was me applying the information he gathered to me life that cured me  I think he's sometimes a little high energy for my taste, and I disagree with some of his info. But that's the beautiful thing. We are all unique. I respect him because he put together a 10 hour program of extremely useful information and frames it in a way that will get people motivated. Feel free to ignore everything I say. I just don't see anyone else around here saying with confidence that they know exactly what happened to them, and were able to say with no question that they're living an emotionally rich life and will never fall back into DP again. All I wish is to help, and I would gladly leave the forum if nobody is interested in what I'm saying. The last thing I want is to start trouble.


----------



## aworthycause (Mar 22, 2010)

For what it's worth, I think CharlieFreak has something important to say to the many people (I don't know what percentage) on this forum who did indeed get DP from some kind of emotional trauma/stress. Just like it's important to not be dogmatic, it's important to not react negatively to solutions that can't work for you. Autonomic Space Monkey's post was pretty rude. "I'll leave you to your delusions"? Seriously?


----------



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

I want to believe the emotional abuse thing is real I really do.

My issue with it is that it always states that the parents are the problem.

I'd say other people in my life (so called 'friends' / bullies etc) were the problem, not my parents. It's funny how all those other people never seem to get mentioned as possible causes when it comes to the 'emotional abuse' theories.


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

King Elliot, I actually wasn't aware that there was a rule like this, I'll keep that in mind. I'll try to frame my comments in a way that is less suggestive and more opinion based, but I also stand by my opinion. I think it's important to direct information to people who otherwise wouldn't actively seek it out. I agree that Harrington's program is very flawed, it's the content that I agree with, not necessarily all of his rhetoric.

Midnight, in my opinion, I don't think any of this is necessarily putting blame on anybody like parents or bullies, though it may be beneficial for some peoe to relieve their tension, to know they have a REASON to be hurt, and don't suffer for no reason at all. For me, it was a matter of recognizing there was a source that caused me to feel, think, behave in a way that was uncharacteristic of me. Once I got there, I let myself be pissed for a while, but I ultimately knew this wasn't a good way to live. I'm at peace now not because I hold onto anger, but because I've validated my previously unknown pain, and moved past it. Life doesn't have to be a constant stress.

Hope you all have a nice day.


----------



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

CharlieFreak said:


> King Elliot, I actually wasn't aware that there was a rule like this, I'll keep that in mind. I'll try to frame my comments in a way that is less suggestive and more opinion based, but I also stand by my opinion. I think it's important to direct information to people who otherwise wouldn't actively seek it out. I agree that Harrington's program is very flawed, it's the content that I agree with, not necessarily all of his rhetoric.
> 
> Midnight, in my opinion, I don't think any of this is necessarily putting blame on anybody like parents or bullies, though it may be beneficial for some peoe to relieve their tension, to know they have a REASON to be hurt, and don't suffer for no reason at all. For me, it was a matter of recognizing there was a source that caused me to feel, think, behave in a way that was uncharacteristic of me. Once I got there, I let myself be pissed for a while, but I ultimately knew this wasn't a good way to live. I'm at peace now not because I hold onto anger, but because I've validated my previously unknown pain, and moved past it. Life doesn't have to be a constant stress.
> 
> Hope you all have a nice day.


Are you a fearless alt account?

So your saying that - there was 'something' causing you to think and behave in a way that wasn't the 'real' you? And that was the issue? Please explain to me - what was that 'something'?


----------



## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Midnight said:


> Are you a fearless alt account?
> 
> So your saying that - there was 'something' causing you to think and behave in a way that wasn't the 'real' you? And that was the issue? Please explain to me - what was that 'something'?


I am saying that. We all have an idea of who we want to be. I for so long wanted to isolate myself from my friend group to focus on my creativity for example. I was a completely different person in college than I was in high school, etc. Part of this was growing up, another part was completely fear based. And this "thing" that made me act different was, in some sense, part of me, but also confused me. This is a difficult thing to describe. I think this scene from Good Will Hunting follows a similar realization that I came to.






Here, he realizes that he is afraid of being a truer form of himself, because he is very much afraid of what will come up.

Also, I think Fearless had great things to say, but his inability to communicate in a way that is considerate to the pain involved in DP was what got him kicked off this website. When you get out of DP, it is difficult to be sympathetic to sufferers, even if you were the same way. This is because you realize how silly some of the thoughts that you had were.


----------

