# Recovery help?



## Findinghope7 (Nov 6, 2017)

I feel like recovery is inpossible it's been six month of weed induced depersonlization anxiety and panicking attacks I feel horrible like my life is over and I ruined it forever. I'm only nearly into my early 20s and I did somthing so stupid and smoked weed for nine month's and I would have attacks on weed but I would never think in a million years my life would be this shitty. I woke up on day after a panicking attack and still was having one when I woke up I felt like my heart was racing and my brain was damaged and was dazed and confucedand like my brain was going to explode. I have horrible migraines and I feel like im suffering from something much serioise . My symptoms are freaking me out.
I stare and over analyze everything so I fear objects trees anything stupid I get fear from random things.

I wake up in my sleep in a panic attack.

I feel high like I never came down and that starts the panic attacks.

Things look 2d like just trippy and off hard to explain

I have good days the boom I'm back to this horrible feeling I dont even understand it or how I can heal if I can't even tell because one day/week/month I feel healed amazing then boom back to square one.

Cars look weired brings fear

Sometimes people look odd brings fear because all I do I stare and analyze and everything like my purse looks like this and that hard to explain

My symptoms were much worse in the begging I would be afraid of everything cause nothing looked right I would stare away and thinngs and trip out because of the flurecent lighting and a million more symptoms please don't juge me I know something's wrong with me. The mirror is hard to see my self in I just need help and hope. I only have my mom and sister for support but my boyfriend still smokes and he Does not understand and it hurts me so badly I think he's going tonleave me because I've been mess and I'm different now I'm severly depressed Im scared of what I did to My self I told my primary docter who gave me xanix but I never saw a couneler yet I'm scared of the possbilty of what's happening and possible having a mental issue. 
I just really need someone who's gone thru this who can lead me the right way at this point i don't wanna live anwaymore I'm giving up.


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## Findinghope7 (Nov 6, 2017)

I also have visual issues and arrived hearinglike in the first month I would think things were at the corner of my eye but5 Monthes laterit's not so as bad now but I'm still scared. And the hearing issues I was scared of the worst every sound made me jump sounds coming from anywhere would turn everything down the make sure I was hearing the right stuff hard to explain. But I couldent have my fan on or anything like water running because I would think irrational hard to explain again but yeah these are so extreme symptoms any help or advice please help me.


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## Findinghope7 (Nov 6, 2017)

Sensitive to hearing*


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