# extacy?



## Universal (May 30, 2005)

has anyone on this site taken extacy? im thinking this drug might've been what did me in finally. it all started with pot but i don't think pot is as extreme as this drug. also i've takes shrooms, but i think extacy is the culprit. damn me for not listening to the damn warnings!


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I think ecstacy may have given me the final shove I needed into panic attacks, but it was just a matter of time before I started having them anyway.


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## Ben (Apr 21, 2005)

No, I've never tried X. I've had plenty of friends who have and have been somewhat "pressured" to try it (but I never will).

What pushed me over the edge was a night with LSD and pot - tempered with way too much alcohol. The mixture was too much and the world just split right down the f'in middle.

It scared me so much that I limit even my caffeine intake to this very day (out of fear of any kind of drug). If I start to feel hyper, for whatever reason, it can bother me greatly.


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## Guest (Jun 3, 2005)

X made me worse, LSD didn't help matters, and pot made me paranoid. I don't touch any of it any more, nor will I use shrooms ever again. My symptoms are enough that I don't want to tamper with my brain and immune system anymore than I have to.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

I've tried too much...


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

X caused my second bout of DR. Basically, because I over did it. Since then I've foolishly taken them now and again, with no problems. Now that I have to have my blood taken every other day, I'm can't even dare to take something as strong as coffee, damn them.


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

so you're feeling relatively good nowadays Martinelv?


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## Guest (Jun 3, 2005)

Why do you get your bleed taken martinelv?

I didn't really have much of a problem with xtc. The only trouble was that as a stimulant, it tends to overwork my mind and the sketch induces anxiety, and anxiety leads to...


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

My DP came from ecstasy - not so much from the chemical itself, but more from the psychological impact of having a rather nasty "bad trip" on it.

I've heard it's particularly bad for DP, however, since it messes with neurotransmitter receptors in the brain or whatever they call that stuff.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I had a bad trip on it too, and then after that I started having panic attacks. But for me the bad trip was more physical. I was shaking really bad and had these muscle spasms. But the night started with me being really anxious and uneasy. I had been feeling that way for a few days really and I was about to crack anyway. Then after the x about 2 weeks later I had my monster panic attack and now here I am.


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## Guest (Jun 4, 2005)

i think one of the problems with esctascy with dp is that you keep thinking "is this a good pill? am i feeling the effects?" and when you start analysing its effects, you analyse dp/dr too.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Because I have cancer, and I have to have blood serum samples taken every two days.

But yes, apart from that minor irritation I don't have DR or DP. Other neurotic complaints, but DR or DP has never returned. And I thank 'whoever' for that.


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## squish_is_me (Jun 5, 2005)

I took X and LSD and I consider DR very comparable to comming down off a trip! I never had an episode while on either though. I did have my very first during a time when I smoked pot mixed with opium. I never thought about it cause I considered it an entirely drug enduced thing! Almost 18mo latter I had another when I was drunk and smoked some pot! I freaked out to say the lease! Again I considered it entirely a drug thing and thought nothing of it. From then on out though my enjoyment of pot lessened and lessened! I began feeling this way whenever I spoked! I have not done any drugs in @ 2 1/2 years. I had my first non drug episode a year ago.


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

my initial dp started due to abuse of xtasy. i'd taken alot of other stuff before and since(though not so much) and was fine.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

I can't see how anyone could continue doing narcotics of any kind while having anxiety, let alone DP and or DR. It would destroy me.


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2005)

i think dp/dr is the reason why i do more drugs. I have no emotional attachment to last night. It doesn't matter if last night after taknig alot of of amphetamines i thought shadows in my hgouse were trying to steal my body. As scared and repentant i was then, i know i'm gonna put myself through the same stuff tommorow.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

Tsk, tsk, tsk. How will you ever recover then?


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2005)

by a blatantly undeserved stroke of luck?


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## squish_is_me (Jun 5, 2005)

I sorta agree with daburge here... I mean it sounds like you are pacifying your need to feel whatever in stead of dealing with it to be able to recover... I hope that doesnt sound harsh I am not trying to be mean.


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

wow... taking speed with dp? you're a brave soul :roll:


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

thinwhiteduke, I'm not trying to criticize you in any way, but I just don't see any way that you could carry on altering your mind and expecting it to recover. It's like trying to get back to reality and at the same time tricking your brain and setting yourself back in my opinion. I'm just concerned for you. I would never do such a thing - and to be honest, I used to love drugs.


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2005)

well, there are certain drugs i avoid, like pot and psychadelics which can obviously affect this. The stimulants i take are really just like having alot of coffee.

But being if i'm paranoid and am scared of other things, i can completely forget dp/dr for the time being. I am slowly getting better (or at least not noticing dp as much).

I'm not really sure if can explain it properly but here is a horrible example; your upset that your bathroom has stains. You then realize the tap doesn't work. You thirst for a while and when the water comes back you're as happy as ever and don't notice the stains.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I can see where youre coming from in a way thinwhiteduke. sometimes I feel like "might as well get fucked up as hell to escape all this crap"...and well, I don't take THAT much of anything...but the occasional pill or something...kind of a nice escape. Why the hell not?

I have been prescribed amphetamines (Adderall) on and off since 17, and for most of my DP "career". I have found at times for Adderall to be extremely helpful. But before everyone goes running to the doctor, I will also add that some people on here didn't benefit from Adderall at all. I'm the type that loves stimulants, i find benefit in lots of caffeine, etc. Everybody is different...blah blah blah.

I will say, however, that Adderall has had its own separate set of problems and has not cured me, I think it has remained neutral in the whole realm of being cured.

But amphetamine use, combined with I guess my own psychology, has seemed to be helpful at times. Sometimes it made a situation better. Not the cure. But helped me and gave me enough of a boost that I could go out and do the things benefecial to being cured.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

also I think that anything that distracts you from dp even if it is getting loaded on drugs, will be helpful in letting you know the possibility of distraction and escape from dp.


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2005)

i don't see street drugs any different from prescription drugs (minus the purity, etc). The laws aren't based on the effects of the drugs at all. If some street drug is another person's paxil, why not?

Not that drugs are curing me. Person3 explained it pretty well actually.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

thinwhiteduke said:


> I'm not really sure if can explain it properly but here is a horrible example; your upset that your bathroom has stains. You then realize the tap doesn't work. You thirst for a while and when the water comes back you're as happy as ever and don't notice the stains.


You're right. You won't notice the stains until you aren't thirsty. (coming down)

Then you become thirsty again and you drink and drink and drink, avoiding those stains that need to be 409'ed. They need attention. Those stains won't go away on their own, any they won't disappear by placing a rug over them.


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## squish_is_me (Jun 5, 2005)

In refering to two posts I saw on here:
One was talking about RX and nonRX drugs that can contribute to this disorder. I am pretty sure that I read caffine as being one of the things on the list. I know as person3 was saying everyone is different but as I see it if there is a list that say this this and this can be contributeors I dont see why you wouldnt lay off them to see if it could help.
Also the post to Janine where she was talking about ths condition does not cause the anxiety and fear and feelings we dont admit, but rather those are all the things causing the condiion.
So I hope I do not step on toes here buuuuut.... if you are taking something to "escape" for a while is that avoiding the problem and the issue is a way. Thereby hindering recover not benefiting it. Furthermore you say "why the hell not" well... do you not want to be cured? Do you not want to be able to live without this as a constant plauge? How can you get over it and move forward if you keep playcating (sp?) your need to escape from it? as I said before is that part of what is causing this? I mean weather it is drugs or just your house(my safety get away) if you are using it as a safety net and something to help escape the feelings you dont want to face then I surely dnt understand how you can move forward?
Thinwhiteduke, I think it was you, that said that the use of drugs or other chemicals helps you to go out into the world and face things that you might not otherwise. Well this seems like a contradiction in itself. You are altering yourself... that is not maintaing a normal balance, even if you are just drinking caffine, to allow yourself to do things. So what does this mean? I mean how do you expect to be able to go out without the alteration in the future. I mean I understand you are saying that it makes you braver or whatever to do things but if you cant do it alone then how will this matter! I suppose if over time you become more able to do things as a result of trying things with some alteration then that is a plus. However it seems it would surely take longer and more effort! I mean you can face things head on and charge through, terrified as hell, possibly even feeling you will pass out, just as I did, and then come out feeling ... lol well awful because it was so hard but knowing you made it. Or you can playcaite a need to "escape" or to feel"more at ease" thereby not facing it head on but rather sideways and in the long run taking longer(if ever) to get where you want to be!


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## squish_is_me (Jun 5, 2005)

In fact on that note I refer to my reply in the post "leaving your comfort zone" you should read it if you havent


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2005)

yeah i read it, it was a good post. Well i'm recovering, i know for sure that i'm a hundred times better than what i was two months ago. The drugs i do don't effect my dp/dr. A night on say speed is a fun night but just another dp'ed moemory the night day. I expected drugs to make me better, but now they are just something fun like watching tv or something. Only maybe cigarrettes i actually use to calm myself down; and thats probably because of the motions i go to do it, not the nicotine.

I think my dp, alough brought out by pot stays because of my fear of death. I'm trying to overcome it.

I don't think i said drugs let me overcome and let me face the world, maybe i forgot (hazy memory is an effect of dp haha). However, they let me have a lust for it. Its just a temperory break, i thought to myself "hey, everything is gonna be alright". I can convince myself and look at things more rationally. Life you know on a great day, everything in the world just seems so well, sunny.

I would never touch pot because it woulds set me back to square one. Caffiene and Coke don't have any effects on dp (although both have alot of other side effects).


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## squish_is_me (Jun 5, 2005)

I appologize thinwhiteduke. You were right, it was person3 who said it:
"But helped me and gave me enough of a boost that I could go out and do the things benefecial to being cured."
and on that note I stand firm to what I said.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

thinwhiteduke said:


> i don't see street drugs any different from prescription drugs (minus the purity, etc). The laws aren't based on the effects of the drugs at all. If some street drug is another person's paxil, why not?
> 
> Not that drugs are curing me. Person3 explained it pretty well actually.


If your brain chemistry isn't unbalanced, anti-depressants do NOTHING for you.

That's why Zoloft, Paxil, and so forth are not street drugs.

They don't have an "effect" that any but the people who are ill can perceived.

So your analogy is not only faulty, it is the kind of thing that some people might believe unless it is refuted.

I think those of you who are refusing anti-depressants are in for a surprise when you finally agree to be treated with anti-depressants.

Where anyone got the idea that antidepressants have any perceptible effects to NORMAL people, I don't know.

You are evidently not normal, in that you say you have DP, which it is my personal belief is a low-intensity anxiety attack (that is, you have the mental symptoms -- I hear what you say about DP -- but you do not have the physical symptoms, which spawn additional mental symptoms of fear of imminent death, DP, and so forth).

I suggest that everyone here try antidepressants for whatever length of time your physician recommends as a fair test (sometimes 6-8 weeks, but you may have immediate relief or relief after 1-2 weeks).

You have nothing whatever to lose by trying antidepressants.

My fantasy at this moment is that someone would come along and recruit you for a "study" and PAY you to go on anti-depressants to give it a trial. I'd bet some of you would do it, then.

But, because fantasies are just that, I will just urge you to try them.

Remember, don't believe that speed is just another person's Paxil. That is false. If there were a mental health professional on this board, he or she would tell you that I am correct.

But I don't expect anyone will believe me -- after all, who the hell am I?

Do your own research and find out for yourself.

Best wishes to you all,

Sojourner


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

Can you describe in detail more of what positive things have happened to you since you've began using anti-d's ? Please give lots of details. I'm personally thinking about trying them, especially since doctors have discovered that I have a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Thanks,
Uni


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## Guest (Jun 16, 2005)

sojourner, i was using paxil as an example, one of many drugs. Speed is both a street drug and a precription drug under the name dexidrine (dextroamphetamine) and desoyxn (methyamphetamine).

There isn't a recreational value from zofolt and thats why you won't find it on the street. However, as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, prescription-style use of the drug will effect you, regardless of if you are "ill". Wheter the effects are desireable is another question. I was reffering to not street drugs having the same effect as paxil. I mean if you use another for the same function as paxil, i.e. better mental health.

Most of the "street" drugs are also used in the medical field. Currently esctasy is being tested for reilegalization for psychatrist organized therapy.

My point was you'd find it strange that if someone (say ADD) said speed helped them mentally, but you would find it okay if they said they had a ritalin prescription. Street drugs aren't street drugs because they are 'bad' (not denying that abuse causes harm), they become "street durgs" because the _majority_ of thier use becomes recreational. I am saying take the drug that helps you. You might find esctasy helpful. Probably most of us with dp wouldn't, but people with other disorders would benefit. A better example, they are discovering opiates might help with OCD, which alot of us seem to have. If it helps use it, don't write it off just because someone called it "Street".


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

Any other persons with extacy induced problematicos?


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## Mollusk (Nov 12, 2005)

Yeah i didn't start feeling dp until the last time i did ecstacy. I ended up paranoid and somewhat delusional. It was extremely hard to concentrate or enjoy anything. I began to sort of hate this meaningless world of self indulgence and everyone in it. I would wake up from crazy dreams feeling shook up and awful. Nothing seemed real and i had no feelings towards anything or anyone anymore. I started getting quite religous hoping that god could help in some way. I have gotten much better but i still have a lot of crazy dreams and am depressed. It might not have been all ecstacy though. I had a horrible trip of mushies a few weeks before it that left me questioning all aspects of reality. There is one good thing that i have gotten out of it and that is to question the parts of our culture that don't make sense.

On what sojourner said that antidepressants don't affect those without imbalances; I have seen a couple of my friends trip of wellbutrin so that is not exactly true. His pupils were huge and he was doing everything at a mile a minute. Also what you said about nothing to lose by trying them; you may be right for many people, but my mothers boyfriend became very irratable and irrational on one (maybe zoloft) he tried to stop and felt awful. Now is on a long tapering off plan that will take months.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

By the way, 'E' caused my second year long period of DR/DP. I think, perhaps, because I took too much. I've taken it (stupidly) before and after with no ill effects. But I'd still stay away from it if you have a mental illness. It's playing with fire.


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## bedina (Nov 20, 2005)

I have tried it, or not tried: I used to take lots of them through many years (6 years). I think I have eaten hundreds of that pills... But I never experienced DP/DR! 
It was in August 2005 when I last took an E and my DP/DR came out in October 2005, so I don't think that E caused my DP/DR... but maybe it can develop it...


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## Seeker (Jan 13, 2006)

I used E for a long time and it was mainely for spiritual purposes.. During a session I would take up to 7 pills (a pill every 2 hours) to stabilize the effects..The only time i had a problem was the last time I took it and I think it was because of bad ingredients.. After a month or two of obsessing about not feeling right after that experience, I started developping serious DP symptoms; I tried explaining the situation to my therapist, and her only explanation was Anxiety.. I went to the extent of believing that something got damaged inside my head because of E (which is very possible with bad ingredients), she never took it seriously..
I do beleive that E had something to do with it, especially if you lose control during a session (or a trip)..it would be difficult to touch ground again in the following days..
SoulSeeker


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