# I'm real, you're real, we're all real



## Da Vinci (Apr 8, 2010)

Hi there,

I am new here but I was browsing the forums for a few months before I decided to join. My story really begins a long time ago. Ever since I could remember, I've had OCD (double checking, repetitive tasks and etc); but it never manifesting into DP/DR until recently. With having OCD, a lot of the thoughts I have feed into it. I tend to worry about my health a lot... sometimes me being overly sensitive about my bodily functions is enough to cause anxiety to some degree.

A year ago around this time, I was having some trouble in paradise with my girlfriend... around that time, I started to get some pretty severe panic attacks accompanied by overall discomfort. Basically, that feeling that something is always wrong...you try to get your mind off it for a second and you're drawn back to it. After a few doctors appointments, I was prescribed Cipralex 10MG which I have been taking for almost a year now. I can say it has helped...but I think I'm at that point in my life where I am strong enough to get off them and try alternative methods. Needless to say, what I was going through last year was hell... I wasn't eating properly, I stopped going to the gym...it's like I forgot how to be myself.

The road to recovery was slow; as it's been a year later and I am still recovering over last years episodes...it left a scar. I sometimes contemplate how I was then and get scared because I never want to be in that position again.

When I started to feel relief from my anxiety, I recall myself going home from work one day and watching TV. I immediately looked at the TV and TV stand and felt very anxious and had this thought in my mind "Is this real? Is what I am looking at real". That's when it all started. I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling and why I felt so strange looking around...

Thankfully I went online and found out exactly what it was and breathed a sigh of relief - although this has marked the beginning of my shitty journey with DP.

When it was in full force, I would have existential thoughts. I would question everything... I would analyze things but never find answers. I would avoid my usual tasks like going out and being social because it was always in the back of my mind...and even though at times I didn't experience DP I would think to myself "what IF i experience DP when I go out?" Which of course made things a lot worse.

Time went by and I slowly got better... However I would have episodes here and there of having strange thoughts which would trigger DP. It almost sounds silly, to be afraid of one's thoughts... but I guess a lot of you can agree on that.

I'm in Toronto Canada and the weather has been great lately.

I've been going out a heck of a lot more, back in the gym...positive attitude and doing my best not to let DP haunt me from being me..

It's hard but you can tell it to stop. It really does feed off fear, the more attention you give it the worse it gets.

Although i am not fully recovered - which i am positive i will be one day, just like all the rest of you; I haven gotten A LOT better and loving life.

Remember, you control your brain and not the other way around. Once you begin to identify certain triggers you can expect to cause DP, you can get a better grip on it and begin to control it.

I am real, we live in the same reality here and we all share the common denominator. As much as we perceive reality shifts, it doesn't. It's our mind that changes, not reality itself.

You know, life is too short to live like this... Sometimes i wonder how people can live carefree, not a worry in the world. But then those people are probably compensating for something else, possibly intelligence as it has been discussed that people who experience DP are deep thinkers and highly intelligent.

As discouraging as it can get, it can be beaten. Mind you, it does not happen over night. For me, it goes like this OCD = ANXIETY = DP. I am sure that's the route of my DP AND DR. Sometimes I wish i can turn the OFF switch in my brain to stop the strange/bizzare thoughts that trigger anxiety but I'm getting better at controlling it.

So far, the progress i've made is great and I'm going to continue to make progress until I beat it completely. Sure it has come back every now and again, but I think I know how to handle it better now.

you reading this is an indication that you're real...so stop worrying! LOL

take care all


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## jessykah714 (Apr 6, 2010)

i love this post! i like that you aren't so negative.. makes it so much more comforting! i like your way of thinking also, but as for me im so negative and stubborn lol. i really need help. maybe we can talk sometime. if you can plz message me if you have time.. thnx!


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## ss1984 (Apr 18, 2010)

Da Vinci said:


> Hi there,
> 
> I am new here but I was browsing the forums for a few months before I decided to join. My story really begins a long time ago. Ever since I could remember, I've had OCD (double checking, repetitive tasks and etc); but it never manifesting into DP/DR until recently. With having OCD, a lot of the thoughts I have feed into it. I tend to worry about my health a lot... sometimes me being overly sensitive about my bodily functions is enough to cause anxiety to some degree.
> 
> ...


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## ss1984 (Apr 18, 2010)

Can you explain what you mean when you say "I would have existential thoughts. I would question everything"? I think I have had this too.

[quote name='Da Vinci' date='07 April 2010 - 07:02 PM' timestamp='1270688553' post='186486']


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## Da Vinci (Apr 8, 2010)

jessykah714 said:


> i love this post! i like that you aren't so negative.. makes it so much more comforting! i like your way of thinking also, but as for me im so negative and stubborn lol. i really need help. maybe we can talk sometime. if you can plz message me if you have time.. thnx!


PM sent


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## Da Vinci (Apr 8, 2010)

Typically, the type of existential thoughts would be: "why do we exist? What is reality? Do others perceive things the same as me"?

They don't bother me as much anymore. You learn to accept and move on from the thoughts that are counter productive. As long as you live your life to the fullest there is no need to question everything. If we focus our brain power and thoughts towards something that would be beneficial to us instead of obsessing over questions we cannot answer, we'd live happier and go further in life.


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