# Recovery



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.

Aka

The definition of insanity is repeatedly doing the same thing expecting a different result.

Think about it. If you seriously want to recover, stop doing what caused you to get dp. Stop doing what keeps you dp'd. Get out of bed. Get dressed. Leave your house. Tell yourself to shut up every single time you have a "I feel" or "everything looks/seems/is" or "is it still there" thought. Break the cycle. You will feel better, more human and that's when recovery happens.

Peace.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.
> 
> Aka
> 
> ...


Truest story!

To repeat the same action and expect different results is madness!


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## Dadude (Jul 19, 2012)

I agree.

You'd assume that this concept would be 2nd nature but there is also something called ''being in denial''. THATS what prevents some people from accepting simple concepts like the one you mentioned.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

i agree with this, but it's also easier said than done, especially on certain days, but what you say is true.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

I didn't do anything to cause my d0. That said what did cause it has stopped, and yet the dp is stronger then ever. Sorry but your theory doesn't work for all dp


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> I didn't do anything to cause my d0. That said what did cause it has stopped, and yet the dp is stronger then ever. Sorry but your theory doesn't work for all dp


It's uncanny how you always are the one to jump right in with the negative attitude. I find it amusing because I used to be just like you. I had severe dp. Like literally unable to eat or bathe myself or go to the bathroom alone dp. And I decided I was a special case and none of the rules applied to me because I was worse than everyone else. Any advice or words of encouragement were immediately shot down. I was like "yeah but that won't work for me". And guess what. I stayed in that non functional living hell. I laid in bed day after day, was in and out of the hospital constantly, because, in my mind, I labeled myself as worse off than everyone else. I was special. I was the exception.

It took someone finally cussing me out, being blunt, cruel even, to wake me up. I realized that I wasn't some helpless victim at the mercy of dp. I wasn't special. It sparked an anger in me and caused me to start changing the crap I was doing to seal myself into that living hell. It was incredibly slow and incredibly painful. I wanted to die every second of every day but what it came down to for me was literally get better or die trying. And I have dug my nails into the dirt and dragged myself up the steep mountain of recovery by the strength of my will alone. And guess what. The girl who couldn't walk to the bathroom now has no dp and very mild dr. In the past month I have had two instances where my dr went away for 30 minutes and an hour. It's been 3 years and I have clawed my way to where I am because I decided that I absolutely refused to accept that dp wad a life sentence. I stopped doing what was making me sick, stopped making excuses, and did the hard work required to get better.

So yes, if you have already decided you're the exception and nothing anyone says will work for you, then guess what, you won't get better. I honestly don't think it matters who or what caused your dp. Because you do have the power in your own mind to pick a different destiny. If you want to make excuses and never recover, go for it. That's going to suck for you. But I refuse to join you and I've gotten my life back because of it.


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## Robin (Sep 8, 2012)

As for this theory, I have been doing my thing since I got DP/DR 3 years ago but it never disappeared. I just go to work everyday and also, I want to keep busy and make myself useful. Besides that I live healthy. So for me, no staying in bed and doing nothing. Also I feel that my DP/DR is not anxiety related. I think I understand the concept of what you're saying, but sometimes it's not that obvious what needs to change. I still have to figure it out.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Robin said:


> As for this theory, I have been doing my thing since I got DP/DR 3 years ago but it never disappeared. I just go to work everyday and also, I want to keep busy and make myself useful. Besides that I live healthy. So for me, no staying in bed and doing nothing. Also I feel that my DP/DR is not anxiety related. I think I understand the concept of what you're saying, but sometimes it's not that obvious what needs to change. I still have to figure it out.


Would you say you've made any progress in severity or level of functioning since you first got dp? Recovery, for me, has been incredibly slow and subtle. Like at a glacial pace. One inch a year slow. There have been many times where I have gotten frustrated and felt like I wasn't making progress at all. But then I'd stop and look back to my symptoms and level of functioning 6 months ago and I'd realize that I had made progress.

Everyone is different in what they need to work through. In my case, it took about a year and a half for me to realize that I had gotten really good at the victim mentality and how that was fuel to the fire for my dp. I realized that every situation really is what you make of it. I had decided my life was a living hell, I was at the mercy of dp and totally powerless, I had this incurable condition and had to figure out how to life the rest of my life bed ridden, etc. I also had this mentality with personal relationships, finances, etc. It took having this realization to change the entire game for me. I realized that if I decided my life was miserable, it would be miserable. Plain and simple. But if I decided to change my point of view, to choose positivity, to refuse the current outcome, I could get better. And the odd thing is that, from that point forward, the hardest but most vital part of recovery was letting go. Refusing to give dp any space to occupy in my mind. Living a normal life, having experiences, having fun, chasing dreams. The more I went out and lived, the less I thought about dp and the more I recovered. It's like the hardest work of all is simply acceptance. Accept you have it. Accept that there isn't a thing you can do to change it. But also accept that it's a temporary state, not a life sentence. Refuse to accept that you will have it for a long time. Decide you will get better. Be determined that you will and then forget it as much as possible. Stop letting dp control and limit you. Take back your life and it will go away. Slowly but surely.


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## rodris (Jun 18, 2012)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> Would you say you've made any progress in severity or level of functioning since you first got dp? Recovery, for me, has been incredibly slow and subtle. Like at a glacial pace. One inch a year slow. There have been many times where I have gotten frustrated and felt like I wasn't making progress at all. But then I'd stop and look back to my symptoms and level of functioning 6 months ago and I'd realize that I had made progress.
> 
> Everyone is different in what they need to work through. In my case, it took about a year and a half for me to realize that I had gotten really good at the victim mentality and how that was duel to the fire for my dp. I realized that every situation really is what you make of it. I had decided my life was a living hell, I was at the mercy of dp and totally powerless, I had this incurable condition and had to figure out how to life the rest of my life bed ridden, etc. I also had this mentality with personal relationships, finances, etc. It took having this realization to change the entire game for me. I realized that if I decided my life was miserable, it would be miserable. Plain and simple. But if I decided to change my point if view, to choose positivity, to refuse the current outcone, I could get better. And the odd thing is that, from that point forward, the hardest but most vital part of recovery was letting go. Refusing to give dp any space to occupy in my mind. Living a normal life, having experiences, having fun, chasing dreams. The more I went out and lived, the less I thought about dp and the more I recovered. It's like the hardest work of all is simply acceptance. Accept you have it. Accept that there isn't a thing you can do to change it. But also accept that it's a temporary state, not a life sentence. Refuse to accept that you will have it for a long time. Decide you will get better. Be determinedcthat you will and then forget it as much as possible. Stoo letting dp control and limit you. Take back your life and it will go away. Slowly but surely.


i need your strenght!!!!so jelous..


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Just for clarification, being mean to me will not help, it'll just make me retreat farther.

And I'm so glad you got some amusement in your day at my expense


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> Just for clarification, being mean to me will not help, it'll just make me retreat farther.
> 
> And I'm so glad you got some amusement in your day at my expense


There's a difference between being mean and being honest. I am being honest. It's what you need to hear. I don't see why me telling you the truth has offended you.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

You don't know me or my situation well enough to know what my truth is


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> You don't know me or my situation well enough to know what my truth is


I know that when I have been on this forum and people post positive things to help others recover you are almost always the first one to jump in with some negative comment about how that doesn't work or how it doesn't apply. I can tell by your constant negative attitude that you are in the head space I was when I believe that I was the exception and that none of the good advice people (who had recovered and actually knew what they were talking about) applied to me.

It's like I said before. You're not special. Dp is dp. If every recovery story says the same thing, which they do, there's a reason for that. Person after person have come on here to present advice on how to overcome this. The tools have been given to you. If you want to have a pity party and reject everything the people who are trying to help you say, that's your choice. You will continue to have dp and continue to be miserable. I cannot force you to listen or to change. Just know that it's going to keep you stuck where you are. And also know that your snarky negative comments on every post where someone tries to help people are really not wanted. If you're bitter about your situation, do something to change it or keep it to yourself.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Like I said. You don't know me well enough. What I post here is in no way representative of all of me. And dp from trauma can have differenf implications from dp from drugs or as a side effect of some other disorder


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> Like I said. You don't know me well enough. What I post here is in no way representative of all of me. And dp from trauma can have differenf implications from dp from drugs or as a side effect of some other disorder


I have dp from trauma. A lot of abuse and many severe traumas right in a row. I never did drugs and do not have any other disorders. I'm 99% recovered. Stop making excuses.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Do you have memory and personalty fragmentation? Those are things that take a lttle more then coping skills to heal

And apparently you just like to remember the negative becuase I've got dozens of positive posts on mindfulness here too


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> Do you have memory and personalty fragmentation? Those are things that take a lttle more then coping skills to heal
> 
> And apparently you just like to remember the negative becuase I've got dozens of positive posts on mindfulness here too


I have recovered 99%. I still have a horrible memory but, due to recovery, all of the other dp stuff has gone away. I wasn't saying that if you read this post, poof, you will be better the next day. I did detail that my recovery has been incredibly slow. The point I was trying to make is that if you don't do something about your situation and stop making excuses for yourself, you won't ever recover.

Repeatedly doing the same thing expecting a different result is insanity.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

It's not about a good or bad memory. Areas of my brain are cut off from me, there are thoughs in my head that don't belong to me but to some other part of my
mind.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> It's not about a good or bad memory. Areas of my brain are cut off from me, there are thoughs in my head that don't belong to me but to some other part of my
> mind.


The cut off areas are called dissociative amnesia. People experience this from trauma or even situations that are difficult to deal with. I actually do have this and did before I ever had dp.

There is no physical possibility that your memories are someone else's. Dp makes us feel like our memories are are not our own. But it's just another lie dp tells us. My entire life before dp feels like that to me but I honestly have stopped caring. It's just a sensation caused by the imbalances in my brain. It's not real.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

You're not understanding about the fragmentation. And it's not dissociaive amnesia, that's a different dx. But that's ok. Just don't tell me you know what I need to do when you don't understand it.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

kate_edwin said:


> You're not understanding about the fragmentation. And it's not dissociaive amnesia, that's a different dx. But that's ok. Just don't tell me you know what I need to do when you don't understand it.


Lmao. Still playing the martyr.

Like I have said repeatedly, if you choose to be the victim you will be the victim. It's your bad decision to make. I'm choosing differently.


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## Robin (Sep 8, 2012)

ValleyGirl83 said:


> Would you say you've made any progress in severity or level of functioning since you first got dp? Recovery, for me, has been incredibly slow and subtle. Like at a glacial pace. One inch a year slow. There have been many times where I have gotten frustrated and felt like I wasn't making progress at all. But then I'd stop and look back to my symptoms and level of functioning 6 months ago and I'd realize that I had made progress.
> 
> Everyone is different in what they need to work through. In my case, it took about a year and a half for me to realize that I had gotten really good at the victim mentality and how that was fuel to the fire for my dp. I realized that every situation really is what you make of it. I had decided my life was a living hell, I was at the mercy of dp and totally powerless, I had this incurable condition and had to figure out how to life the rest of my life bed ridden, etc. I also had this mentality with personal relationships, finances, etc. It took having this realization to change the entire game for me. I realized that if I decided my life was miserable, it would be miserable. Plain and simple. But if I decided to change my point of view, to choose positivity, to refuse the current outcome, I could get better. And the odd thing is that, from that point forward, the hardest but most vital part of recovery was letting go. Refusing to give dp any space to occupy in my mind. Living a normal life, having experiences, having fun, chasing dreams. The more I went out and lived, the less I thought about dp and the more I recovered. It's like the hardest work of all is simply acceptance. Accept you have it. Accept that there isn't a thing you can do to change it. But also accept that it's a temporary state, not a life sentence. Refuse to accept that you will have it for a long time. Decide you will get better. Be determined that you will and then forget it as much as possible. Stop letting dp control and limit you. Take back your life and it will go away. Slowly but surely.


In my case, the DP started 3 years ago during an influenza. At that moment I never heard about DP and I could only describe the situation as a 'strange, unreal feeling in my head'. I went to the doctor who said I should give it some time. So I did, for about 1,5 years. The DP was always there but did not really affect my life. Sometimes I told my familiy and friends about this strange feeling, but it was more or less on the background. 1,5 years ago my son got very sick and this was a terrible time where I just didn't recognize myself in how I handled everything without any emotions. I felt that with my mental issues, I couldn't give what my son and family need from me. This period really made my DP worse. After all kind of investigations I know now for about months that I have DP. But I don't understand why the DP didn't go away in the first 1,5 years when I wasn't paying much attention to it.


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