# Recovering, Being Yourself, And Knowing You Can Do It



## Mickey (Aug 7, 2010)

I'm gonna start this off with saying, I am not recovered. I still have depersonalization and elements of derealization. I'm writing this, because I realize many of the key factors in the experience of dp (my dp at the very least) and would like to share what I have noticed, if others have noticed it as well, and what can be done about it.

First off, I think of DP as a seperation of consciousness (the essential "I") and the body and mind. It is as if you are not really there. Also, there ius the feeling like there is some type of force internally that is attempting to keep you from being there. However, people who have DP are still totally sane, and cognitively realize that such a force does not actually exist. You are creating all thought patterns in your mind and, by being fearful of your apparent ability to force your consciousness from your body and mind, are continuing to do it impulsively. The act of fearing and trying to do something about what you are doing to yourself implies you could not just stop doing said things to yourself. You create a force within your mind that is not actually there, but is you impulsively worrying, i.e. DP.

Do any of you not exactly feel alone wqhen you're alone? Like something is tying you down. In reality, in objective truth, you are alone and you are your reflection in the mirror. In experience, you are not completely this person, you and your identity are being attacked by "DP". The thing to note is that DP is also just yourself, the way you think, which is entirely under your control. That's why a response of fear to your impulsive thought mechanisms is wrong, it implies a lack of control.

What has to be done is acceptance. Not in the face of recovery (you are already you and you already exist in the real world), not to get better now, but to simply live. You are already you, you just don't realize it yet. And the way to realize it is to start being you, doing things you know you like to do, and forgetting about the possibility of you bewing limited by yourself, because, after all, it all is just you.

It's like a chinese finger trap. Do not accept in order to get better. Accept in order to live, with or without this force in your mind. Eventually you will gain enough confidence in external activities to gain confidence in your ability to manage your own mind. But, again, do not accept your condition in order to "get better", this will not help. There is nothing real to get better from. Accept your condition in order to feel better, in order to stop beating yourself up all the time.

That's my two cents. But then again, I'm unrecovered (recovering slowly, but that's not the point) and stuck in many of the same mindstates i've been stuck in for a year. Still, this is what I have noticed. Let me know if you have noticed similar things.


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## kukutininkas (Apr 9, 2010)

you are some point right. I think people with DP hardens it's acceptance with trying to recreate their old selves. But i think some things cannot be retrieved. It's 4th year now as i'm fighting with myself and everything just going worse.


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## SonofEagles (Jan 12, 2008)

Mickey,

You make a great point. DP is a shift in perception. The way a psychiatrist explained it to me was - DP is like walking in a room in your house and thinking something is different in there but in reality nothing has changed, just your mind telling you that. The best way to tackle DP is to let it run its course. I know, it is tough to hear and go through. When DP thoughts come over (Am I real, Is this real, the fear etc) instead of running them in your head over and over tackle them head on - when the DP thoughts come on just walk right into them, face them without fear. Sounds uncanny but try that - thoughts cannot cause you harm they are just chemical releases. You will notice that as you face the DP thoughts you feel better, a little spark of happiness almost. And the thoughts just fade. Not as soon as we would like but they do go away eventually. DP is hard to ignore, it is like a bullie with a megaphone following you around - but just like any bully it goes away when you don't pay attention to it. When the scary thoughts come on instead of fearing them just say (with your grown up voice or like John Wayne So what that I feel this way?! It's ok, my brain is just tired. I am real and so is the world. I just can't feel it right now, Big deal ....
Eventually the peace of mind will return and life will be back to normal. Believe me, I have been there and I am now out of the DP game. 
The key is to relax and let all the weired and wild thoughts run through you and not impress you at all. Keep and easy going attitude and you'll see DP drift away. I read this advice on this website - it is not mine







- and it truly changed my life. You are not alone in this, we are all here for you and for each other. Recovery is possible and will be yours







!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I <3 this thread


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