# No longer alive.



## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

It's sad but there was one reason for me to live and that was the man I love. After being sexually abused/assaulted, it took me a long while to trust this man sexually/emotionally but I did it. I did it and sacrificed EVERYTHING for him. I changed whatever he needed me to change. I drank less, stop popping pills, took my mind off of suicide for the most part, made myself stronger, and tried to get myself back up on my feet.. for what, though? He was the only reason I did all of that and he just broke my heart in to a million f*cking pieces. An hour ago, he came to my doorstep and told me we should be friends. All because of work and our recent lack of communication. What a f*cking coward. He said he loved me yet he can't attempt to WANT to fix things? We are perfect for eachother and I truly love him. I thought I loved others but in the end I knew that I never did love anyone until him. My heart is shattered right now and so many things are running through my head. I again feel worthless and ugly. I'm not worth a tiny fight. I gave him everything. I trusted him. I trusted him with my deepest, darkest secrets and now I have nothing to live for. I know it's lame that I've put my all in to a silly man.. but it's how it is. He WAS my reason to live and I can't change that.


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

Realiity said:


> It's sad but there was one reason for me to live and that was the man I love. After being sexually abused/assaulted, it took me a long while to trust this man sexually/emotionally but I did it. I did it and sacrificed EVERYTHING for him. I changed whatever he needed me to change. I drank less, stop popping pills, took my mind off of suicide for the most part, made myself stronger, and tried to get myself back up on my feet.. for what, though? He was the only reason I did all of that and he just broke my heart in to a million f*cking pieces. An hour ago, he came to my doorstep and told me we should be friends. All because of work and our recent lack of communication. What a f*cking coward. He said he loved me yet he can't attempt to WANT to fix things? We are perfect for eachother and I truly love him. I thought I loved others but in the end I knew that I never did love anyone until him. My heart is shattered right now and so many things are running through my head. I again feel worthless and ugly. I'm not worth a tiny fight. I gave him everything. I trusted him. I trusted him with my deepest, darkest secrets and now I have nothing to live for. I know it's lame that I've put my all in to a silly man.. but it's how it is. He WAS my reason to live and I can't change that.


Aww im sorry to hear that







u will find other things in your life that are worth living for though! U will!







ive been single for a long time lol, i used to think that if i could find the right man it would make everything alright but now i realise that it won't! U need to be able to be happy by yourself first







have u got some good friends to look after u an talk to? That always helps me







an maybe u could go for counselling or something to help u get over what u went through x


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