# Nothing makes sense. [email protected]@K!! HELP!!



## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

My first go around in DP/DR was horrible. I didn't know what was goin on. All I new is I was very nervous, everyone an my surroundings felt fake didn't look fake just felt like they was there an I was super depressed an eventually picked up on intrusive thoughts after hearing about some. 10 months an I was finally out of tht hell hole. I returned to normal life an enjoyed it. After spending 2 yrs free from anxieties I found myself reliving my old ways an putting to much stress on me an eventually had something happen tht topped it all off an got into a cycle of high anxiety for about 2 weeks an then DP/DR set in. I remember being in the shower an thinking about my GF coming over an suddenly I felt like she didn't exist or I had no connection to her an it followed with a deep depressed feeling an I immediately knew it was goin to get bad. I walked around feeling unreal an ppl felt unreal this time I wasn't extremely nervous or extremely DP'ed. I strted reading up on DP/DR to find out more mayb I could learn more about it. I stumbled upon posts about ppl having thoughts of everything being an illusion, being in a coma an dreaming everything, solipsism. This was the worst mistake of my life. My thoughts then swapped to tht an latched on. Plus I read of ppl questioning the universe, death and after life. One day I strted thinking about humans living on earth, a planet floating in the universe an suddenly it felt so strange an I had sumwat of a panic attack sense then it's been horrible. All my life growing up I have learned about science an cavemen, planets, space an loved it could watch it all day. Now suddenly it doesn't make sense. I turned to the bible an began reading genesis which I always loved. I strted reading it an immediately strted questioning God. If there was a god. What is the purpose of life? Why doesn't everyone else get bothered by the fact of existence being strange? The the thoughts of death. I was beer afraid of dying now its a mystery an a worry. What happened? These things use to interest me now wen I think of them I feel so much more detached. It's called derealization. Mayb it should b called realization. I want to go back to auto pilot again like every one else. Like was so great now it's strange an dont make sense. Some days it felt like I was dropped on a s strange planet. Somedays I felt almost convinced tht this was all an illusion. My anxiety isn't high. I am nervous in the mornings cause I wake up with these thoughts. Anyone relate to this? Or recovered an everything went back to normal? These thoughts r new to me other wise I would t b worried. Thanks


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

I no astronomers deal with universal things an I'm sure they live a very happy life. I'm sure their thoughts on the universe doesn't make them feel detached an unreal like it does to me. It's just crazy how everything got turned upside down. Night time is the only time I enjoy. I use to wake up so happy about morning an thankful for seeing another day an use to love being in the sun now it's a scary time for me.


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> After spending 2 yrs free from anxieties I found myself reliving my old ways an putting to much stress on me an eventually had something happen tht topped it all off an got into a cycle of high anxiety for about 2 weeks an then DP/DR set in.


Why were you putting "too much stress" on yourself? What specific form did that take? What were you overcompensating for - what were your fears? That is the key to figuring out your pattern of disintegration. You have to address this in depth, not just mention it in passing.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

The first time an this time both were caused by a prolonged period of physical stress. Working from 5 a.m. To 2 p.m in the heat, going home lifting weights in a hot gym of mine followed by mma training. Then workin on music then staying up past midnight. An on weekends all night. So 6 hrs asleep was alot for me in the periods an this lasted the first time 5 months. This time a yr. plus this time my dad go sick an had to b rushed to the hospital which topped off my already weakest nervous system from all this stress.


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> The first time an this time both were caused by a prolonged period of physical stress. Working from 5 a.m. To 2 p.m in the heat, going home lifting weights in a hot gym of mine followed by mma training. Then workin on music then staying up past midnight.


You have to look into the psychological causes of why you were driving yourself so relentlessly. If you felt stressed out, you could have prioritized and cut something out.

In other words, DP didn't "just happen." Same kind of root causes are in play - feelings of inadequacy/low self-esteem, etc.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

My DP/DR came in after a panic attack an staying stressed out an so worried about being anxious. Other than tht idk wat else would have done it.


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## googleeyes (Apr 25, 2012)

It's just big O man, distraction distraction distraction.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

Wat I want to no is. Will it actually b gone one day? Will I b able to think of these things again without feeling so unreal. It's just nothing makes sense anymore. Idk why.


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

> Other than tht idk wat else would have done it.


You have to be willing to probe a little deeper into your psychological make-up. Why were you driving yourself so hard, getting insufficient sleep, etc.?


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## peanut butter (Nov 9, 2012)

googleeyes said:


> It's just big O man, distraction distraction distraction.


Says the guy in DP.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

I was doing all tht because I enjoyed it. There's really no other answer. I loved training I loved music I was staying up late because I loved it I was always busy with sumthing an having fun. There's not much of an attitude tht I can change fearless. I no I have always had some anxiety. It runs on my mothers side I the family. The two times I got DP/DR it strte the same damn way after prolonged stress with little sleep resulting in panic attack resulting in prolonged worry.


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## googleeyes (Apr 25, 2012)

mmrrlla said:


> Says the guy in DP.


I'm now under the impression that english is not your first language. Regardless, how is that relevant?

I believe the existional thoughts are a symptoms of "feeling unreal" and not a disorder in itself.

DP is well documented in cases of panic/ anxiety. If you have chronic anxiety, it's very likely dp is a symotom of that.

If you believe that dp can only be a result of some deep complex issue, then I'm afraid you'll have a lot fo trouble recovering.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

All I no is these thoughts never bothered me before DP. Now they do an wen I think of them I feel so detached a unreal. Like wen I think of life on this planet it's like someone telling me tht for the first time. Like I have to relearn it or something I hate it. Same about death. An even my religious beliefs. I hope wen DP is gone all this will make sense again but I just don't no.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have been wondering why the thought of existence doesn't scare the crap out of everyone for a long time...


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## peanut butter (Nov 9, 2012)

peacedove said:


> I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have been wondering why the thought of existence doesn't scare the crap out of everyone for a long time...


It's because people don't associate the feelings you experience with the thoughts.

If everyone would feel the same emotions as DPd people and think existence it sure would scare the shit out of everyone. That's why you need to realize that those thoughts are just your way to find reasons for the feelings.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

I agree with mmrrlla. I does get better. For me it has been getting better but it takes patience. It's a slow process. Especially if u have extra stresses going on in ur life. U have to get to a point were u just let go an move on. It usually comes by itself. U have to quit googling about it, talking about it. Quit making it a part of u everyday. If ur unable todo so it will make it harder to recover but u till will recover from this.


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## gasspanicc (Mar 21, 2012)

ur attitude is the biggest thing, they nailed it, nothing is permanent. so just remain RELAXED AS POSSIBLE IN EVERY SITUATION NO MATTER HOW DREADFUL OR W/E U MAKE IT OUT OT BE, WE JUST MAKE IT AWFUL BECAUSE WE WANT IT A CERTAIN WAY! BUT AS BUDDHA SAYS THAT IS SUFFERING, IT DOESNT MEAN WELL BE LIKE THAT THE REST OF OUR LIVES, WE HAVE TO DROP THE NEUROSIS! THATS THE CAUSE OF ALL SUFFERING MY FRIENDS! BUDDHA!


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## miabella (Jun 19, 2013)

I'm the same way, existential stuff used to be SO awesome to read about... suddenly it became terrifying. and the best way I've found relief is by finding out what my body needs nutritionally. I removed triggers (like refined sugars and caffeine... I have problems with hypoglycemia), and found out what my vitamin and mineral deficiencies were, and how bad my hormone imbalance was.

Yesterday, I had a terrible day. tears, anxiety, existential thoughts, fear of dying, fear of the unknown... it ended up being because I slacked and took more vitamin D but less magnesium (low magnesium causes major depression/anxiety/unreal feelings for me). Today, I'm back on track and I'm feeling and thinking more positively. Existential thoughts are not plaguing me.

When your body isn't getting what it needs (or is stressing so much that what it's getting it being used up, depleted, or not absorbed), it sends out warning signals. depression, confusion, brain fog, DP/DR, appetite/personality/behavioral changes, unnecessary fears, racing/intrusive/obsessive thoughts.... get your body in tune, and your thoughts/feelings will be in tune.


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## eiji850 (Jun 29, 2010)

same here brother try and not think these thoughts man and when they do pop in your head focus on where you are in the moment not about the big picture but rather where your body is what your feeling what the air smells like take a deep breath and try to refocus on the now. It will help you to calm down a little bit and ground you because the universe is a scary place.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

I agree once again. Science use to b amazing to read about. I use to b so close to my religion. Once I went through this for the second time all of tht changed. Thinking of the big picture made everything seem even more unreal. It has gotten better to an extent an I'm almost certain eventually it will get back to normal. Or at least I hope so.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

mmrrlla said:


> It's because people don't associate the feelings you experience with the thoughts.
> 
> If everyone would feel the same emotions as DPd people and think existence it sure would scare the #### out of everyone. That's why you need to realize that those thoughts are just your way to find reasons for the feelings.


Interesting. What I don't get is why everyone doesn't experience fear at the idea of existence, infinity, etc. You say that those thoughts are my way of finding reasons for the feelings, but the way I've always remembered it is the feelings always came with the thoughts. You kind of make it sound that I felt the fear and THEN thought existence. This intrigues me... what made you think of it this way? I have always wondered if something traumatizing happened to me which caused the DP. And with good reason because I remember bits and pieces of a strange incident around the same time I started experiencing all this, but I really think it's the mere thoughts of God and existence that are so terrifying: the lack of control, the inability to control my own fate...


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Or maybe I just read that completely wrong... did you mean I was already Dp'd and then thought about existence and therefore it scared the shit out of me?


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## Guest (Sep 25, 2013)

People can't really experience fear without reason, and that's what anxiety is; fear without a known source. With anxiety the fear is constantly simmering under the surface, but we don't recognize it without something to be afraid of. In a split second an unnerving thought about existence pops into our head and that fear boils over, then we notice it. The same thing could happen if you feel a little pain in your chest, suddenly you think of having heart issues and the fear that was already there comes bursting forth.

The fear was already there, it just needed a trigger. Thinking about the universe or god or whatever might be unnerving to some people, but only an anxious person would say it scares them.


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## Speedy88 (Jul 23, 2013)

I was always content with everything but when I fell into DP again I read other ppls stories an saw ppl talking about solipsism. I looked it up like a retard an fell into tht shit. After reading about ppl questioning existence, the universe the earth, god etc i eventually latched on to tht way of thinking an questioned everything. It didn't really make me very nervous it just made me feel so detached an made me really depressed. I felt like nothing made sense anymore. It's def gotten alot better so when it's hundred percent better i will return with the best possible advice I can give to ppl. DP is what led me into the existential crisis. Questioning everything. It has done tht to many ppl.


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