# Talking feels soooo detached



## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

Ok, I've brought this topic up time and time again, so I don't really know what I want out of this time around. But seriously, I feel soooooo detached from my voice and when I talk that it's so horrific. I find myself talking and just plain NOT feeling attached to it. I can't really concentrate on what I am saying or what I am gonna say next. It's worse than it used to be. I lose focus BIG TIME when I am talking. I seriously HATE talking on the phone and avoid conversations at all cost. It is the WORST. Does anyone else feel this with me? What can be done besides just ignore it or "let it happen". I'm tired of letting it happen. It's horrible. It doesn't even feel like I'm talking. It's ridiculous. I can't stop focusing on it either. It causes alot of depression as well. And I constantly think of how horrible it feels, so I always get all depressed about it. Fluck this fluckin crap.


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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

I have had similar voice issues also. I believe this is related to dissociation and identity issues. Dr Steinberg uncovered 5 basic types of dissociation during 20 years of research:
-DP
-DR
-Amnesia
-Identity switching
-Identity confusion

There are different levels of each from small to large. She created a research backed test called the scid-d to detect and measure them. A simpler version of teh test is on her site strangerinthemirror.com

I think the similar voice issue I had was related mostly to identity confusion and to a small degree identity switching. She has exercises in her book for lowering such dissociation. One exercise is to identify different identity 'parts', communicate with them about their 'needs' are and negotiate to help their needs and get them to work together. A music therapy version of this could be tried were one picks different songs for the different 'parts', lets each 'part' sing it's song, and then try songs that combine all the 'parts.' This allows emotional understanding of the parts and practices transitioning between them and bringing them all together. It may also be good to know that maybe 1 out of 10000 people would recognize when there are 'different voices' and the switch between them.

I think this approach is good even when someone just has 2 'voices'-1 a normal voice and the other an anxious voice.

In big cities there are also 'voice coaches' who train people for acting, etc. This can be good physical and emotional practice. Even church choir is probably good.

Another very significant researcher on the feeling of having lack of voice dissociation control is Robert Firestone:

http://www.glendon.org/Glendon_books.htm

M


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## 1A (Aug 12, 2004)

Same thing here. I hate the phone. I would rather get someone's voicemail and leave a message, but even that feels weird. Or I'd rather meet someone in person. I think seeing someone, being next to them, makes it easier for me to talk. Otherwise it's like I'm speaking into this "thing" (the phone) which carries my voice to other places. It's a strange concept to handle, at times, when DP'd, not as bad as when not DP'd.


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## Guest (Jan 31, 2006)

could this possibly have something to do with the misidentification of the ego, where your voice doesn't fit what or feels detached your ego has been separated from the rest of the crew. Your cognitive function remains intact but your ego has been reset or distorted in a way that you cant recognize your own voice or feel detached from it.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

Guess no one else really feels this or no one really has any clue what to do...I just found this description of what I mean and it fits what I feel perfectly:

"I have felt as if words flowed from my mouth but they were not in my control."

Perfect explanation and it sucks. It's the oddest durn feeling.

Kelson


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Kelson-- I know exactly where your're coming from; I've been there as well. What you're trying to convey to the rest of us is that when you're talking there actually is another part of your conscience that is observing what you're saying. Your voice does not feel like it's yours....almost like you're on a two second delay between what's coming out of your mouth and what you're actually hearing. It feels like your "self" has gone to some "other side" in your brain......another consience or inner voice has been created inside your head. You feel like there are two of you and you want to go back to the other side.


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## Guest (Feb 1, 2006)

i have felt this too like i would be talking and i wouldn't realize i was talking its like my cognitive mind is separated from the ego or something. It happens but rarely


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## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

This phenomena is not exclusive to DP, by the way. It happens to people who are jet lagged, or when someone is startled out of their sleep and not fully awake.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

Dreamland said:


> Kelson-- I know exactly where your're coming from; I've been there as well. What you're trying to convey to the rest of us is that when you're talking there actually is another part of your conscience that is observing what you're saying. Your voice does not feel like it's yours....almost like you're on a two second delay between what's coming out of your mouth and what you're actually hearing. It feels like your "self" has gone to some "other side" in your brain......another consience or inner voice has been created inside your head. You feel like there are two of you and you want to go back to the other side.


I guess kinna...but it's really not that deep. It's basically just:

"I feel as if words flowed from my mouth but they were not in my control."

That's exactly what it feels like. And thus I concentrate on my words and how they sound, etc. Which causes me to feel more weird and more detached and more scared.

Kelson


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