# Stranger to my own life



## Hannah12 (May 11, 2013)

I don't have a clue how I got DP and dr. One day I was sat in maths class and all of a sudden i start staring into space then as I got out of it I had a hyper awareness that I was alive. I wasn't anxious at the time but I had been an anxious person. The fact that I don't know how this came about makes me feel more worried that it's something more serious.

I didn't really think about it because I was confused with what happened. Then it happened again, about a year ago. It's been on and off for about a year.

It feels like I'm scared of my body. I think it looks weird. I'm scared of my feet and legs and arms and even my own head when I think about it too deeply.

What I've been feeling recently is that when I'm back from school i feel like im at a strangers house. I question who I am and why I'm related to my family. I look at my family and question why was I born into this family and because i question it i don't feel like their my own and feel disconnected from them. I then have a quick panic that lasts for a few seconds but then it goes. It's awful. Does anyone feel like their not meant to be human. I feel like i don't remember humans looking like this. Like i lived a different way before, anyone else feel like this?


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## Isilme (Jul 8, 2012)

I know what you mean. I guess I don´t have it exactly the same way you do, but I have these sensations od strageness when I look on my room, or my parents and when I am really focused on them and that fact, that they are my parents, it starts to feel strange.

But I can surely relate to the "awarness that I am alive" and "scared of my body" feelings.


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## Meticulous (Jul 30, 2013)

Whenever I think of what is physically happening inside my head, it terrifies me. Our awareness of this life is created by a sack of meat in our heads and it has a very complex design. These thoughts used to be huge triggers for me, but now I've learned to accept this is the life I was born into. Why fight it?


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## Isilme (Jul 8, 2012)

TheMessenjah said:


> Whenever I think of what is physically happening inside my head, it terrifies me. Our awareness of this life is created by a sack of meat in our heads and it has a very complex design. These thoughts used to be huge triggers for me, but now I've learned to accept this is the life I was born into. Why fight it?


Few yars ago, when I have had this for the first time I managed to accept these thoughts and eventually fear of them went away. But now I can´t. I don´t know why. But the way I accepted it back then doesn´t seems to work right now.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Hannah12 said:


> I don't have a clue how I got DP and dr. One day I was sat in maths class and all of a sudden i start staring into space then as I got out of it I had a hyper awareness that I was alive. I wasn't anxious at the time but I had been an anxious person. The fact that I don't know how this came about makes me feel more worried that it's something more serious.
> 
> I didn't really think about it because I was confused with what happened. Then it happened again, about a year ago. It's been on and off for about a year.
> 
> ...


Hey hannah. I feel the same way you do... Everyone and even myself looks animal like. Like i just realized i am alive and i dont want to be part of the human race. I feel scared of myself when i look down at my body and aware of my own awareness. I also wonder why i was born into this family and not another. Another thing i tend to think is why was i born into this reality? (as if theres another one or something)... I have this intense feeling that i know nothing at all or that everything i know is learned so therefore it doesnt feel like i am naturally thinking it.


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## MissySS1 (Jan 12, 2014)

I can definitely relate 100%, I usually look at other people and I think " They are feeling 'normal', and they have no idea what 'normal' even is..." Like things like that... also mine gets worse when I am around my whole family. Like when they are talking, it seems like I start questioning things like " They don't even wonder why they talk"...other weird thoughts like that... I always feel really DP when I am with them also DR gets worse too...I have everything you mentioned as well, all I can say is Try and try hard while staying positive, one day these thoughts will be gone. I know it's hard believe me but if we all hang in there it has to get better. Wish you the best!


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## Guest (May 1, 2014)

I relate to all of this. I feel like a being in a human suit rather than a human. When I walk I feel like a character in a first person game, very much like this: http://oyster.ignimgs.com/ve3d/images/03/31/33171_normal.jpg

I absolutely freak out when I think about my brain, eyes and consciousness and their connection, but I do not know why as I knew all this stuff before. I feel like I've been reborn as something else and then rammed back into my old human body which no longer fits. So strange and so upsetting.

On the plus side, I feel as if it IS getting better and it is scaring me less and less, it's just the whole not knowing when it will go and the doubt that something else is wrong or could develop which unsettles me...yet I know it won't. Hard to believe just three months ago I was on cloud nine!

Makes you wonder what we would do without the internet and especially this site, what the hell would we make of our condition?!


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