# How to better accept DP?



## Dfarwell11 (Dec 13, 2016)

When I was 14 I struggled with DP/DR from smoking weed. I cant remember when it actually went away or how long it took, but eventually it did I just don't remember it being as bad as it is today. My DP/DR started in February of this year when I was pregnant. Nothing stressful had happened and nothing had really changed except my husband went away for a month and that is when it initially started. I was having trouble sleeping, and eating. I cant imagine why that would trigger DP/DR though? Today I am so far down in DP/DR I feel like I am going to lose my mind at any given moment, and forget my entire life. It is such a struggle living everyday trying to embrace and take in our new life with my son when I don't feel like he is even real and that truly just breaks my heart  Everyone feels like a robot to me and my mind is so blank and dead I feel like I am forgetting every moment of everyday, yet if someone asks me something I can remember everything perfectly. I am desperate to find anything to make this go away fast so I can embrace this beautiful life I get to live with my son. I have heard that accepting this makes things so much better but it is so hard when I look around and feel like I am constantly in a daydream in a hole I cant get out of. I don't even know how I am a functioning human being. I see a psychologist and I cant get in to see a psychiatrist until January 9th. I have tried meditation and I am currently on Prozac, but my doctor recently switched me to Wellbutrin a few months ago and THAT made my DP/DR even WORSE. So now I am trying to get that out of my system and let the Prozac maybe bring me back a little. I am so lost, and I just wish this would go away or that I had more motivation to make it go away its so tiring trying to deal with all of this alone.


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## Marinkawr (Jul 21, 2016)

I also have a son and i totally understand your pain, he is five. I was wondering for a long time what does it mean to accept it, and i came to a conclusion that to accept means to be ok with the thought that it may never go away and you have to live it no matter what paying less attention to this pain. I'm at the point when i truly accepted it, but it's still very hard to live along with dp.For example today is a really bad day for me, i feel suicidal and i don't want to live and feel all these exhaustion and intrusive thoughts. I forgot what does it mean to feel normal and do not have a proper hope that it will ever go away. In your situation, don't give up, if it went away once, maybe your body can adjust and it will go away again.


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## Dfarwell11 (Dec 13, 2016)

I wish it was as easy for our brains to create this protection like mechanism as it was to get rid of it then maybe I would be willing to accept it a little more. It just takes a lot of energy especially when everyone around thinks you're fine and doesn't believe you. Last time if I remember correctly it lasted longer then a year, and I really don't want that to happen again. I just keep pondering on "I can't wait for normal to happen again.." which I think is causing mine to stick around more along with major anxiety when I start to realize how the DP/DR feels. Usually if I am lucky I can just ignore it.. but when I do realize it's a shit show.

Stay strong though Marinkawr! I am sure you have a beautiful family who loves and cares for you.


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Many of us have underlying anxiety orders which could explain why your husband leaving triggered you. You could have some form of separation anxiety, for instance. I know that when I feel bad, I like certain people around as a kind of safety net. But yeah, living like this is beyond shit. Even something as simple as showering has become a big ordeal. I was standing there this morning feeling the water all over me thinking "shouldn't this make me feel more alive?" but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Instead I was just standing there feeling delirious and out of my mind. I tend to either feel manic/rambly, or I have no energy, or I'm depressive. But I'm never myself.

The only things that have helped me so far are decent anti-anxiety medication and distraction (pursuing my hobbies and work in a hands-on kind of way). I can tell that I feel terrified underneath the meds, though. It's a kind of dread whereby you know something's not right and you feel as if it's never going to be right again. Hopefully this clears up for us someday in the not too distant future.


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## Brady12 (Nov 27, 2016)

What kind of anti anxiety meds have helped you?


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