# Schizophrenia



## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

I am freaking terrified of getting schizophrenia. My question goes out to everyone, does anyone else have this Terri me fear and continue obsessing about it 24 hours a day. When I lay down and am by myself I keep "hearing" voices in my head. Not like actually hearing a voice like I would in real life but like you would if you were playing a song in your head. Earlier today I was trying to take a nap, and heard what sounded like spongebob screaming, but it wasn't a physical sound, just only in my head like a song. I hope I'm making sense. Developing schizophrenia is my biggest fear ever. Idk if I have really bad ocd or what but I have gotten to the point where I question my own thoughts. I am terrified of my own thoughts. I will think something and question why I thought that, I will walk in a room and question why I walked into the room, I will talk and question why I talked. I do this with absolutely EVERYTHING 24 hours a day every second. It makes me feel like I'm not even controlling myself. I feel like I have no idea who I am and that I am a completely different person than before developing depersonalization. My memory is terrible too. On top of all this, the "feeling" of depersonalization isn't there anymore. Just the thoughts are. I feel like I am still acting though, like I'm not being myself at ALL times even when I am alone. Is this all depersonalization or am I truly going schizophrenic? Help please. I'm desperate. Or could this just be OCD?


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## Livedreamer (May 23, 2013)

yes i had this fear i would watch videos for hours of pschycologist interviewing people with mania, schizo, etc... and no you will not develop it im cured from my depersonalization and now can laugh at how scared i was at these thoughts im sure you have heard this a thousand times but its just anxiety, the whole talking to yourself thing everybody does it... i also thought that i was crazy and everybody treated me like i was normal so i wouldnt be afraid trust me if you were really going insane you wouldnt be worrying the way you are. hope this helps


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## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

Thanks a lot! That helps a lot. I can't wait for the day that I can laugh at all of this! So would you say this is depersonalization still or just anxiety? Thanks!


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

Also schizophrenia isn't the worst thing in the world. Ive known several people who have it, and as long as they are on the right meds they are fine.


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## wonderlandme (May 22, 2011)

I had the same feelings for a really long, especially since I am predispositioned to it . My uncle is schizophrenic. But I know for a fact that i have dp not schizophrenia, there is a big difference and the fact that you recognize what's going on and that it's not normal means you are not experiencing physcosis. I don't hear the voices but I do hear my phone ringing even when it's not ringing, or songs too constantly in my head. It is pretty much racing thoughts which is a symptom of dp. it will go away once you learn to relax and that there is no real danger. Good luck.


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## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

Did everyone else have the feeling that you weren't in control of your own body or your own thoughts? Like you understood that you were but at the same time it felt like you weren't? Is this just the depersonalization?


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## wonderlandme (May 22, 2011)

yes, i did especially that feeling that i was not in control of my body, i still get that feeling. Also that fear that I am going to lose my mind any minute. But it is the dp and there is no danger. You will not lose your mind, find something to distract yourself asap. you will be ok.


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## Wantmylifeback (Aug 1, 2013)

Thanks a lot. Also to the recovered, does the feeling of not feeling like you are in control of your body ever go away? I feel like I'm not even living, I feel like I'm just a body with electrical impulses in the brain without a soul. But at the same time I experience emotions haha this is so weird I don't even know how depersonalization can even be described. Has anyone ever thought they were fully recovered from depersonalization but felt like something was still completely "off"? Like do all of you feel like you have completely lost your identity and feel like life has no meaning?


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## Livedreamer (May 23, 2013)

you feel like you are not in control of your body because you keep obsessing about the symptoms therefore keeping them there its in your head based on fear of getting them. But think of it as a song that gets stuck in your head it doesnt mean your going crazy just that you are obssesing over it you have to trust that its all a made up creation in your head as for the fear of going crazy. I would relate it to after watching a scary movie and you hear a sound in your house you are almost sure that somethings there but its not. And yes all these feelings go away you become a stronger person you are more intrigued on the meaning of life


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## arar (Oct 30, 2012)

Hey. I can't tell you exactly WHY this happens. Clearly, it has something to do with anxiety or big life changes or excessive worry or drug use and possibly a host of other reasons. And clearly, is is a function of some kind of weird thing that happens in our brain. It DOES NOT mean you're going crazy or anything life that. Although in a way it kind of does feel like going crazy since nothing feels or looks the same. But there's crazy and then there's CRAZY. I had DP really badly last year. Nothing that intense had ever happened to me before and made absolutely no sense although I had lived with more minor versions for many years. I searched on the internet to figure out what it was and found this DP selfhelp site and it helped to confirm what was going on which helped. I met a new internet friend here and we've been corresponding for many months now. And gradually I began to feel better. Altogether it took me about 6 months. And I continue to improve to the point where it really is not an issue. You will get better. For sure. The power is within you and when you discover that ability you will hopefully be able to control and manage these feelings. Best to you!


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