# My Lamotrigine diary



## endritk2 (Apr 18, 2015)

Today I will be starting Lamotrigine.

My regime will be:

50mg for two weeks

100mg for two weeks

150mg for four weeks

I will then have a review with my psychiatrist and we will talk about reaching the arranged target dose of 300mg.

My DPDR background story: I encountered my first experience of DPDR when I had a panic attack during my first time smoking weed. After several days, the symptoms reduced, however, a month later I experienced another panic attack out of the blue. During this panic attack, I experienced symptoms of DPDR and as a result, I began to have fears that I was going crazy and was suffering from permanent brain damage because of weed. I am a hypochondriac and I suffer from health anxiety so this didn't help my case. For several months I experienced panic attacks as a result of DPDR making me think I was losing my mind. The panic attacks did stop but the DPDR remained and my obsessive ruminating over my DPDR symptoms faded, but to this day I still feel like I am not 100% here and I experience this profound emptiness. I don't know if this is DP because I always experienced DPDR and not just one over the other. I have noticed when I am paranoid my DR intensifies. I am diagnosed with a lot of mental illnesses and the purpose of being prescribed Lamotrigine surprisingly was not for DP/DR, instead it was for my mood, impulsivity, and depression.

My current diagnosis is Major Depression with Dysthymia, Anxiety (generalised anxiety disorder as well as social anxiety disorder), Borderline Personality disorder, symptoms of ADHD, C-PTSD, DPDR and disordered eating.

I am currently on a medication cocktail of Cymbalta 60mg, Abilify 5mg, and Vyvanse 70mg. I believe Lexapro 10mg did relieve my paranoid thoughts and obsessive rumination over my symptoms which decreased the severity of my DPDR and I think that was probably the beginning of a step towards recovery, however, I am still here feeling like I am not completely present or alive. This could be because of other factors, such as my other mental illnesses, but I want to highlight that all of this started because of that traumatic experience with weed.

I will let you all know if Lamotrigine has any positive or negative effects by updating this thread frequently.

Thank you,

Endrit


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

> I will then have a review with my psychiatrist and we will talk about reaching the arranged target dose of 300mg.


I did increase it with 25 mg each week until 100 mg and afterwards 50 mg each week.


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## endritk2 (Apr 18, 2015)

TDX said:


> I did increase it with 25 mg each week until 100 mg and afterwards 50 mg each week.


My psychiatrist says I should increase it by 50mg every two weeks.


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## Lexy13 (Jul 31, 2016)

Lamotrigine helps but I also take an add medication. It helps me feel less lethargic and able to get out of bed. I still don't feel 'real' but the add stuff does help.


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## endritk2 (Apr 18, 2015)

I feel no reason to update everyday as Lamotrigine effects take a while to build up in my system.


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## endritk2 (Apr 18, 2015)

Today is the 14th day on Lamotrigine. I have noticed a slight effect on my mood; time will tell if this change is a good or bad. Tomorrow, I will increase my dose to 100mg a day and will take this for two weeks, before finally increasing to 150mg.

Dear Diary,

I'm sitting in my sweat. I want to wash the calories away.

I have reduced my antidepressant to 30mg daily as directed by my psychiatrist. I am stating this as any change can be an important variable.


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## endritk2 (Apr 18, 2015)

There is a difference in my perception, not sure if it's good or bad yet. My head feels warm and I have a headache after taking my Lamotrigine. I guess my body is getting used to the recent increase. I'm having vivid dreams and memory loss.


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## luctor et emergo (May 22, 2015)

Vivid dreams will be temporary.


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## endritk2 (Apr 18, 2015)

Hello,

I was taking Lamotrigine for other reasons. It was not effective in helping my depression. I was on 200mg. I believe that maybe I didn't give 200mg a chance because I could have stayed on it longer. I am planning on resuming treatment with Lamotrigine once more.

I am currently on Vyvanse and Wellbutrin and Klonopin - however, I only take Klonopin when the circumstances arise e.g. anxious moments, panic attacks.

Since first having DPD, my symptoms have reduced, perhaps they have disappeared. I don't exactly know how this came to be.

When having a strong bout of DPD, existential questions plague my mind increasing the sensation of feeling disconnected and ungrounded. I notice that when I am not experiencing DPD, that my mind isn't thinking about the nature of life, death and existence (perplexing questions which induce feelings of anxiety and DPD)

It is true that since I was a child, I would have nightmares about dying. Death has been such a strong, overwhelming fear and you can't escape this phobia because inevitably we all will perish. I believe this is why I am a hypochondriac (a person who suffers from health anxiety) and as a hypochondriac and anxious individual in general, we establish our own conclusions about experiences. It was a huge mistake for me to smoke weed.

I recently came out of surgery, I experienced DPD and I'm assuming it was because of the general anaesthesia, morphine and oxy. Ever since then, I have been experiencing small moments of DPD. If I let my mind be consumed with the fear of DPD, it will get worse. Preoccupation with the disorder has made it worse. Fortunately, I am so depressed, suicidal and have an eating disorder, that my mind has other things to worry and obsess over.


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