# Hyper Awareness (NOT Schizophrenia)



## ValleyGirl

Ok, I was curious if anyone else has this. I've had these episodes a handful of time before getting dp and for a week at a time or randomly since getting dp. I have been in an episode for the past few days now so I thought I would bring it up. I get this sense of "hyper awareness" of myself, my thoughts, my movements, the stuff around me. Everything seems more intense, louder, etc. Along with this comes this sort of like irrational fear of certain activities. One that has always gotten me is going to the bathroom. When I have this, something about sitting on the toilet really freaks me out. Maybe because it's solitary and you are left with silence and your thoughts. I don't know. I just know that I get this and am paralyzed. Literally. I will go and stand at the bathroom door and feel rooted to the spot. I sometimes will even try to step foot into the bathroom and start to panic and have to come out. I usually have to bring something to distract me, like my cell phone, just to get through peeing. I will run in, pee as fast as I can, ALWAYS avoid looking in the mirror when I'm washing my hands, and run out. I've also had this when taking a shower. I actually remember a very clear episode when we were at Disneyland. I had to take a shower and got into the shower and froze with this over awareness. I actually had to turn on music and focus on it just to make it through the shower. I also had a bad episode last night when trying to go to sleep. It's like a massive sensory overload.

I've told this to my counselor and Schizophrenia was the first thing out of her mouth *eye roll*. I've checked and rechecked the symptoms and KNOW that I don't have any of them, save this symptom. So what could be other possible causes? Does anyone else experience this?


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## Mushishi

I have it, too. Definitely a hyper self-awareness.


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## EverDream

Isn't hyper awareness a part of DP? It's a normal thing for me.


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## Guest

Try turning on the bathroom faucet for distraction.

As to what this may be? I don't know. I only get it for like a second and then it's gone.


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## insaticiable

You guys are lucky you get this. I have a serious sense of ''under-awareness'' at all times. Like I'm totally oblivious to what's going on around me. Perhaps, a sense of ''hyper-awareness'' could mean that you are beginning to connect to reality more?


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## septimus

Insaticiable, this is an extremely unpleasant symptom.

This is the essence of my severe dp/dr episodes. I get thrown into a super clear video game world. When it happens I joke that "I'm overstimulated". That *is* dp. I'm sure we could write a fat book of every dp symptom. It's dp. Don't worry about it.


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## pancake

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> I've told this to my counselor and Schizophrenia was the first thing out of her mouth *eye roll*. I've checked and rechecked the symptoms and KNOW that I don't have any of them, save this symptom. So what could be other possible causes? Does anyone else experience this?


Schizophrenia my ass.
Being overaware of my body and thought process is a MAJOR feature for me. 
When you can't help but dissect everything youare and do as well as the world around you it becomes *overpowering*. (More like watching a nature show than living. The human animal in it's natural habitat. I get really bogged down by identifiying instinctual behaviours, hard wired stuff freaks me out sometimes.)

Well, people are always going on about how DR messes with their eyes but the stuff that happens to my ears has always been far more crazyland for me. LOUD, quiet, LOUD again, like someone is playing with the knob on my internal radio set. White noise (electrical static or whatever) so loud you can't hear yourself think. And don't nobody touch me - it feels like being *burned*. My internal clock goes on the blink. Things happen faster or slower around me - like I am at the eye of my own personal crazy-storm.

The whole O-V-E-R-L-O-A-D experience tends to garble my emotions and when it 's really strong it knocks them out completely. Shortcircuit. Then I am just watching the flesh puppet. Constant vigilance is no fun.

Focusing on something as hard as pos is the best way out for me. Go somewhere quiet, close your eyes for a bit, recite a poem in your head, do a mantra or if you're that way inclinded say a prayer. Something structured providing focus. If you can handle it, focus on your breathing & run your hands along your body e.g. sit down and run your hands down your legs right to the floor a few times. 
When there is nobody around who could be watching me I rock myself.









Strangely enough though, I have had a positively amazing versions of this at times. It burns you out in the end but that one 's worth it. I can't describe it for shit and I'll only anger people if I try but it 's just like above only in some odd way life affirming.


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## pancake

insaticiable said:


> You guys are lucky you get this. I have a serious sense of ''under-awareness'' at all times. Like I'm totally oblivious to what's going on around me. Perhaps, a sense of ''hyper-awareness'' could mean that you are beginning to connect to reality more?


Nice thought but no. Just the other side of the same coin. Maybe I am being negative there but for me it 's always been a marker of severity.


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## junglegirlrawrr

the toilet actually calms me down


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## Guest

§


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## kpaiva

I'm really glad you wrote about this. I experience the same thing - not as much with things around me, but my body. And when I saw what you wrote about how you have to run away right when you wash your hands, I was amazed that someone else does the same thing. This is the most terrifying part of my depersonalization. And hearing that anyone else has it, was really relieving (not that I wish you experience it). Focusing on music helps me, too. Also, almost every time this happens to me, I call someone. For some reason, speaking to someone reminds me that there is a "normal" outside world, where people don't feel trapped or limited by their bodies like I do. Since it has been happening a lot, though, I've been trying to find new outlets.

I really can't believe you do the same thing with washing your hands.


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## Kitr

I kinda have this with my thoughts. sometimes when i think about something i almost feel it or almost see it its just weird.


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## kpaiva

The similarities between our experiences are frightening.

I typically avoid mirrors or reflective surfaces. I used to look in the mirror and become hyperaware (then anxiety and paranoia producing). Seeing myself in pictures or film can do the same thing. I, too, run out of the bathroom and focus on something outside of myself. Music is one of my main options. I also usually text a good friend (usually the same one who is familiar with what happens). When I saw your post, I was amazed that someone has this same experience. It's really terrifying. But, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in it.

The hyper-awareness of being in your own body is how I understand it. Often when speaking to therapists, they don't suggest depersonalization, but usually some more rational reason (such as: maybe you don't have good body image)... but this is much more deep-rooted than that (NOT that body image issues can't be deep-rooted! Just speaking for me). I've also heard schizophrenia or schizotypal symptoms or schizoid - which depersonalization may be a symptom of schizophrenia, but that doesn't mean that we all have schizophrenia Sometimes I feel that some therapists are not very caught up with PTSD/trauma issues/dissociation -- as sad as that sounds. I had to research myself and find out that I was depersonalizing because everyone kept telling me I was having hallucinations relating to a lack of sleep (WAS NOT the case).


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## FoXS

i know this definitely. 
when i have a panic attack also everything seems brighter, louder, and veeryveery scary. had this yesterday evening after visiting a friend. it was very quiet there over several hours, we played a game where we had to think much, so we didnt speak much, just sat around and drank something warm. but then i had to run to fetch a bus, it was stressful, and around me were suddenly hundreds of people talking, many lights, many traffic, i was totally lost and was very afraid, all seemed to turn in circles around me and i had the feeling as if i was in danger! that was bad. 
i think the reason is the difference between the two situations i had been in and that my brain was suddenly overstimulated with noise and motion. 
and i also know, valleygirl that its the other way round: that i sit in the living room with friends and watch a movie. we talk a lot and laugh and its entertaining and loud. but when i go to the bathroom then, as you did, there its suddenly quiet, and it feels as if the world "was removed from me". and then i get derealization, because it feels like something is missing! i have those thoughts in my head "something is wrong, this cant be true here". 
but its only a change of scenery that is so exhausting to my senses! so i say to myself, calm down, its all fine, just your mind tricking on you.


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## Lionheart

Normal feature of anxiety


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## TimothyHand

insaticiable said:


> You guys are lucky you get this. I have a serious sense of ''under-awareness'' at all times. Like I'm totally oblivious to what's going on around me. Perhaps, a sense of ''hyper-awareness'' could mean that you are beginning to connect to reality more?


I don't know if lucky is the right word. For me it almost seems like reality is unraveling. Everything seems to be not quite right and it makes me questions the solidity of my perception of things. My brother gets this too. We both thought we were the only ones who experienced this phenomenon until he mentioned it to me. I was like, "whoa" you too?!? He said it makes his cry because it is like nothing is quite real or rooted in normalcy when that happens.


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## SunnySD

Hi,

I have been waiting about 16 years to find out whether or not I am the only person in the world suffering from such a strange thing! To know that I am not crazy, but that this happens to REAL people helps me a lot. Medication (and prayers) have saved my life as the symptoms for me became more severe over time. I have found that the more stimulated I am, the better I feel. I need to watch out for moments where I am depressed or sad about something because my symptoms worsen. I've come to accept what I have. Would I rather not live like this? YES...

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.



ValleyGirl said:


> Ok, I was curious if anyone else has this. I've had these episodes a handful of time before getting dp and for a week at a time or randomly since getting dp. I have been in an episode for the past few days now so I thought I would bring it up. I get this sense of "hyper awareness" of myself, my thoughts, my movements, the stuff around me. Everything seems more intense, louder, etc. Along with this comes this sort of like irrational fear of certain activities. One that has always gotten me is going to the bathroom. When I have this, something about sitting on the toilet really freaks me out. Maybe because it's solitary and you are left with silence and your thoughts. I don't know. I just know that I get this and am paralyzed. Literally. I will go and stand at the bathroom door and feel rooted to the spot. I sometimes will even try to step foot into the bathroom and start to panic and have to come out. I usually have to bring something to distract me, like my cell phone, just to get through peeing. I will run in, pee as fast as I can, ALWAYS avoid looking in the mirror when I'm washing my hands, and run out. I've also had this when taking a shower. I actually remember a very clear episode when we were at Disneyland. I had to take a shower and got into the shower and froze with this over awareness. I actually had to turn on music and focus on it just to make it through the shower. I also had a bad episode last night when trying to go to sleep. It's like a massive sensory overload.
> 
> I've told this to my counselor and Schizophrenia was the first thing out of her mouth *eye roll*. I've checked and rechecked the symptoms and KNOW that I don't have any of them, save this symptom. So what could be other possible causes? Does anyone else experience this?


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## noname

I relate to that symptom and like the previous post said its the symptom wich have really got worse from the beginning, kindoff permanent hyper awarness, jumping to sound, inhability to bear alcohol, hard time with cofee, neck pain (some year ago I was sufficiently pretentious for thinking neck pain or these kind of somatic symptom are for hypochondriac idiot, lol), ect. Sometime its like I dont think, I just see form in my head wich is actually "thinking", dunno how to explain.



> Along with this comes this sort of like irrational fear of certain activities.


Same, this is recent, but Its perhaps more due to normal anxiety than another things, I mean when I firstly get DR, I was staying able to somewhat enjoy activity, with dp/dr increase I have get 1 year ago strong existencial question about ALL what im doing (with strong anxiety), and now its 1 year I ridiculously fear these activity. Imo thats more anxiety related than DP


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