# I thought it ended years ago!



## Monts (Jul 28, 2011)

Hi all. I am well versed in DP/DR. I suffered from it along with multiple other diagnoses for decades (panic disorder, BPD, schizoaffective). I have actually been med free for about 5 years. I took myself off and have been able to cope using my own resources and tools. Recently I had a major surgery. It was elective but mentally necessary. I, being the paranoid person I am, have spent the last 5 weeks worrying about blood clots and pulmonary embolisms. The amount of anxiety coupled with my low blood sugar caused an episode so severe it got me an ambulance ride and an all day stint in the ER a couple of weeks ago. Since then my symptoms have gotten worse. What was simple anxiety has now turned into full blown panic attacks with severe DP lasting most of the day. I am acutely aware of every ache and pain I am feeling and assuming my impending doom is around the corner. I am scared to sleep and to be alone. I plan my escape route in public constantly. I am hyper sensitive to noise and motion. My arm and leg go numb and I have a hard time walking. I am in a constant dream state. I haven't felt this way in 10 years or more.

Anyway, sorry to blab, but talking to people that actually know what I am feeling is a huge help. I am making an appointment to go back to my doctor of years ago. As much as I hate the meds, I cant put my body through this while trying to heal.


----------



## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Monts said:


> Hi all. I am well versed in DP/DR. I suffered from it along with multiple other diagnoses for decades (panic disorder, BPD, schizoaffective). I have actually been med free for about 5 years. I took myself off and have been able to cope using my own resources and tools. Recently I had a major surgery. It was elective but mentally necessary. I, being the paranoid person I am, have spent the last 5 weeks worrying about blood clots and pulmonary embolisms. The amount of anxiety coupled with my low blood sugar caused an episode so severe it got me an ambulance ride and an all day stint in the ER a couple of weeks ago. Since then my symptoms have gotten worse. What was simple anxiety has now turned into full blown panic attacks with severe DP lasting most of the day. I am acutely aware of every ache and pain I am feeling and assuming my impending doom is around the corner. I am scared to sleep and to be alone. I plan my escape route in public constantly. I am hyper sensitive to noise and motion. My arm and leg go numb and I have a hard time walking. I am in a constant dream state. I haven't felt this way in 10 years or more.
> 
> Anyway, sorry to blab, but talking to people that actually know what I am feeling is a huge help. I am making an appointment to go back to my doctor of years ago. As much as I hate the meds, I cant put my body through this while trying to heal.


Meds are useful when things spin out of control - to regain our footing. Yea, it sucks







but the problems are worse. Just as before, you will regain composure and be able to enjoy your life.

Welcome to the forum - and best wishes


----------



## Monts (Jul 28, 2011)

Visual said:


> Meds are useful when things spin out of control - to regain our footing. Yea, it sucks
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thank you! I am engrossing myself in everyone's posts right now. It is always helpful to know you aren't the only one.


----------



## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Monts said:


> Thank you! I am engrossing myself in everyone's posts right now. It is always helpful to know you aren't the only one.


Engross away







, there is much to gain. Do discover ways to help ease the pain


----------



## RamonX (Feb 10, 2011)

Well seems were in the same boat there, or atleast à similar boat. About 8 months ago I got this horrorific atypical anxiety attack, and have been in constant anxiety and DP ever since. I have had problems with DP and anxiety for many years, but before this happened again, I was doing very well for about 18 years and thought I had grown out of it. The only thing was that I got very tired the last couple of years. Now it's worse than ever. And I have got no clue what happened. The only hint of an explanation is that I decided to try to taper my Citalopram medication à little . I went from 30mg to maybe 28mg by shaving off a bit from the pill. You wouldn't think you could even notice such a tiny difference, but after one week all hell broke loose. So if this had anything to do with it nobody knows, but I went back up to 30mg and then to 40mg, but it didn't do me any good.

In a way I feel rather cheated. After all I did to conquer this in the past, it comes back with à vengeance and nothing that helped me before seems to work very well any more.

When you mentioned your operation, there were à couple of things that came to mind, that might have contributed to your setback.
Did you have anaestatics? These have been mentioned in the past by quite a few people as the kickstart of.chronic DP. 
And then the operation itself. Recent research seems to indicate that the brain reacts in same way to physical and emotional stess. People often get depressed after operations or medical illnesses. Just a few guesses here.

Strange coming from since I am not really progressing myself, but I am sure you will get over this. But I have seen many people fall back through the years, and I don't remember anyone who stayed down if they recovered (partially) before. And there is nothing wrong with falling back on medication for à while. 
I am going to experiment with different medication, but I have to wait till the doctors have ruled out epilepsy.

I wish you à lot of strength and a bit of luck to get through this!


----------



## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

Welcome! I have recently relapsed after 13 yeards dp free. Mine was caused by a virus, and huge amounts of stress.

It's been two months now, and I'm finding daily life pretty hard. However I believe I will get better (I did before), and I'm sure you will too!

It's so horrible being back in this bad place, but you will find some nice people on this site.

Take care

Jojo


----------



## JenS (Jul 10, 2011)

Hi, I've recently relapsed as well, but am fighting hard, and I agree with JoJo - it went away once, it will go away again. It's just hard in the meantime, but this site does help. You are not alone. JenS.


----------

