# Desperate cry for someone's please help



## nav (Mar 30, 2015)

Hello everyone,

{sorry if this is long}

So I have been following this page for a long time, I finally decided to share my story.

My experience started on the 13th August 2014, one day before receiving my college results. Naturally, I was anxious and, for the first time I had a dp/dr experience. This really scarred me and I developed concerns over it being related to weed smoking. I convinced myself that I was losing my memory.

I don't really smoke weed that much, but back in June/July I spent two months or so smoking around three or four times a week. Always in a group of friends, and never too much, just enough to get high. After July I completely stopped smoking it. My first experience of DP started 15 days after my last joint.

So anyway, the next day, after my first episode, I spoke to my best friend (foolishly) and he told me it was related to the weed and it would eventually wear off. So I thought it may be a withdrawal symptom of the marijuana. I noticed that after receiving my results (which were thankfully pretty good). The dp/dr begun to fade. The following week I was very busy arranging a massive event (long story) but I was again very stressed. The dp/dr started again. By this time I begun developing concerns over things like psychosis and schizophrenia. I spoke to another friend and he assured me my symptoms weren't typical of psychosis.

Nonetheless, the concerns of this experience (which I didn't know a the time was dp/dr) continued. I continued to work through college just telling myself it was stress as my stress and dp/dr were directly correlated. It then got to November 19th 2014 when I decided to read up on schizophrenia, having very little knowledge of it previously. Being a hypochondriac I convinced myself that the experience was a though disorder (don't ask how I managed to convince myself this, but looking back I know it was stupid). I later learnt that a thought disorder was something completely different. I had convinced myself that since the thought disorder started, the voices and delusions would soon follow. (It's been six months since, and I still haven't heard any voices or delusions.)

This November 19th day opened up a Pandora's Box of fear, worry, hopelessness. The fear begun affecting my social life and school. I had always been a confident, out spoken individual who enjoyed public events etc, but this completely crippled me. This entire experience begun at a terrible time as it was just days before an interview at Oxford Univeristy to read Law. (Going to Oxford has always been my dream, and where I live, England, it is the best university). I ended up completely cocking up this interview and got rejected. I'm not overly disappointed as I've managed to receive an offer from another really good law school here in England.

I've basically developed a habit of spending hours online reading up on different psychiatric conditions and then spending the entire day worrying about it and almost convincing myself I have it. The thing with mental conditions is because they're in the mind, it is easy for a hypochondriac to feel that they have it. So for example if someone does something *genuinely *suspicious, and I question their motives, I start worrying I'm developing paranoia. Even though I never hundred percent believe that what I think is true. But basically I can't stop myself from thinking about different mental disorders- one day I'm worrying about paranoia, Another day I'm thinking about schizophrenia, then another day I worry about DID. Even though I know I don't have any of these conditions. Which makes me worry more that even though I know I don't have them, then why do I keep worrying about them. About five psychiatrists have told me Im fine.

I also read recently that Dp/dr is a result of traumatic childhood experiences. Is this true???? Because I haven't really had any major traumatic childhood experiences, in fact I have a very loving family background. The only particular experience was moving country at the age of three but is that really a traumatic experience?

Also because my dp/dr isn't chronic and only prevalent during times of stress, would it be inappropriate of me to label it as Depersonalization *DISORDER?? *Is it normal to experience dp/dr in only times of stress??

Finally, I'm a really aspirational and high achieving individual. I've always wanted to be a Human Rights Lawyer since I was young which is certainly a difficult job. I mean I'm intellectually capable but will this dp/dr cripple me to the extent where I will unable to achieve this???

Finally, often dp/dr is a symptom of an underlying condition. From my story do you think it's typical of a psychiatric condition or related to anxiety???

This is actually driving me nuts.

Thanks ALOT

Nav


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## Freddy_Fred (Mar 4, 2015)

From what I've learned, episodic DP/DR is not "Depersonalization Disorder". Its only when it persist (24/7) that its considered a disorder. Here, I learned a lot from this video. Very informative. Sounds like stress is your "trigger", which is common to those who experience DP/DR episodically. The video will explain


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## nav (Mar 30, 2015)

Freddy_Fred said:


> From what I've learned, episodic DP/DR is not "Depersonalization Disorder". Its only when it persist (24/7) that its considered a disorder. Here, I learned a lot from this video. Very informative. Sounds like stress is your "trigger", which is common to those who experience DP/DR episodically. The video will explain


Thanks bro, really appreciated. This video is really helpful!


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## Freddy_Fred (Mar 4, 2015)

No prob. And as far as anxiety is concerned, I think you will find an entire movement among the DP/DR community who will say that anxiety is the root cause of DP/DR. You're asking all the right questions, so hopefully its just a matter of getting some piece of mind once you find out more about DP/DR.


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## RichUK (Oct 6, 2011)

DR is a normal reaction in exteme stress. You have probably heard of Fight or Flight responsewell there is a third option to which is Freeze

If you were in the jungle and a tiger came at you have 3 options

Run

Attack

Freeze

Ok so you run and get away great or you pull a big stick of the ground and attack the beast. But if you freeze wouldn't it be good if you could kind of switch off from reality (theres a big tiger who is probably going to rip you to bits) been in the present at this point isn't good and even worse if he gets hold of you would you really want to feel like you are there while he eats you alive.

So the way I see it DR is a defence system which comes in to play when you can't run or fight in stressful situations, it zones you out.

If the threat goes away the system turns off and you return to normal. The issue with DR Dissorder is the system is triggered and the person see's the way it make them feel as a threat as well so create a loop and the system can not turn off. Eventually the person gets used to feeling spaced out and disconnected, the anxiety reduces and the system resets.

This by the way is how I view it.

So you are experiencing DR when you should be, under stress. The problem starts when you see DR as a threat and so begins the loop.

Rich


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## nav (Mar 30, 2015)

RichUK said:


> DR is a normal reaction in exteme stress. You have probably heard of Fight or Flight responsewell there is a third option to which is Freeze
> 
> If you were in the jungle and a tiger came at you have 3 options
> 
> ...


Thanks Rich, this sounds really reassuring! The only issue is that I'm almost always stressed. Do you think there's a way to make it go away forever? I.e. not happen during stress. The issue is I can't quite combat an issue, which is causing the stress, when Im dp'd up. For example If I have a lot of work and I feel DP/DR, its hard to do the work, which just increases anxiety


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