# Hopeless.



## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

That's how I "feel." Truly hopeless. I am not alive, not dead, not living, barely breathing, not feeling.

I don't remember anything about my life or how I should feel. But this.....this is just hell on earth. It's not describable.


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## Guest (Apr 25, 2016)

I'm sorry. I feel the same way every day. I'm just faking being human now.


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## Guest (Apr 25, 2016)

As long as you are alive, there is hope... Keep pushing forward, and research recovery stories. It is difficult, but I believe most people are able to recover. It may take some time, but all it takes is finding what works for you.


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Yeah, I hear you. I feel like my days are always on the spectrum between bad and really fucking dreadful. There's nothing positive to offset it. The best I can hope for is a calm day, free of panic, and try something that engrosses me without physically tiring me out. That seems to help a little. But this is no way to live.


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

Autonomic Space Monkey said:


> I'm getting more & more fed up of doing it


You haven't reached your limit of fed-upness yet? I think I have nearly reached mine and I'm only at 1 year!


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

I can't even fake anything. I am so far gone to even do that. You guys I am not going to make it. My life is over it feels like. I don't remember anything. Or what I should feel like. All I know is I have no control over anything and that's not ok. I don't have a body basically, not in the body I am looking down at.

I mean could it be any worse then this. No. It couldn't. Give me cancer, give me anything besides DP.


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## Guest (Apr 27, 2016)

CoffeeGirl, are you seeing a doctor or therapist about this? Are you taking any medications? I'm finding that Klonopin is reconnecting me to my body and mind. I am feeling more human and "normal" now and have been able to get on with day-to-day activities without feeling like a robot. It even significantly lessens my brain fog.

There's no reason you need to be suffering this much!


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

VerySurreal said:


> CoffeeGirl, are you seeing a doctor or therapist about this? Are you taking any medications? I'm finding that Klonopin is reconnecting me to my body and mind. I am feeling more human and "normal" now and have been able to get on with day-to-day activities without feeling like a robot. It even significantly lessens my brain fog.
> 
> There's no reason you need to be suffering this much!


Yes. However not very helpful. No one can place you back in your body or whatever is going on. Meds werent working. I use just basic supplements helpful for overall function. Vitamin d, omega 3, b complex, also take probiotics.

I can't believe anyone is suffering this much! I just can't believe it. I am not here. I mean there is a body and maybe a brain but any sort of human presence is gone.

What were your main symptoms? Did you feel like you were controlling things from far away? Just plain gone? Please help me.


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## Guest (Apr 28, 2016)

> What were your main symptoms?


- Feeling like a robot

- 2D vision

- Brain fog

- Hard to concentrate

- Sometimes not recognizing my own hands/arms/voice

- Head pressure and tinnitus

- No emotions or feelings except fear and anxiety

- Feeling like at any minute I will disappear or that everything around me will disappear

- Existential thoughts

- Fear of going crazy or ending up in a mental hospital

I think I've improved somewhat in the past couple of weeks, but barely. I don't seem to have the 2D vision anymore and I am not having those panicked feelings all day long. But I still keep feeling like I am in a dream.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

VerySurreal said:


> - Feeling like a robot
> - 2D vision
> - Brain fog
> - Hard to concentrate
> ...


I mean there is no body for me. I have no body. I cannot feel my physicality at all. I am ghost of that. But yet I hurt everywhere. Every muscle, my head. I can't feel my back hit the ground. Like I have no support in my back. Can't adjust my spine because I am not even apart of it. No soul. I can't just lay somewhere and "heal" there is no one to lay and heal. I can't explain it. Weightless. How does this happen? To this extreme. I am completely disembodied. I have zero hope. Zero.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

I am completely 100% cut off from anything, the world, me. I would rather be dead.


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## puya2 (Apr 23, 2016)

It gets better. There is a reason you are suffering THIS much, you just need to let your mind heal and stop overthinking and trying to explain everything. Just let it be.

I know It's easier said than done. But what's causing it to be THIS severe is the attention you give it. You should understand that there is a reason DP exists, and stop giving attention to silly thoughts like OMG I KNOW SOMETHING OTHERS DONT, OMG IM NOT GETTING BETTER IM GOING TO BE LIKE IN THIS STATE FOREVER OMG THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH EVERYTHING.

No, you are just fueling it with more anxiety. Let.your.mind.rest.

There is NO WAY you're going to suffer from it forever. People who have had it for such a long time (1+year) have additional problems like gad, several panic attacks,depression. If this was caused by a drug or a traumatic experience, Im sure it will go away as you stop thinking about it this much. I know how hard it is. And stop saying ''I'd rather be dead'' no. Stop being so negative. It will get better. Just have faith and be positive and STOP PAYING TOO MUCH ATTENTION ON IT


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

CoffeeGirl9 said:


> That's how I "feel." Truly hopeless. I am not alive, not dead, not living, barely breathing, not feeling.
> 
> I don't remember anything about my life or how I should feel. But this.....this is just hell on earth. It's not describable.


It's not describable is it, and no one knows we are experiencing it? How mad is that? Your talking to people on a day to day basis, looking them in the eye, and they legitimately are in a different world to you, despite being right there in front of you.

It's utterly insane.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

puya2 said:


> It gets better. There is a reason you are suffering THIS much, you just need to let your mind heal and stop overthinking and trying to explain everything. Just let it be.
> I know It's easier said than done. But what's causing it to be THIS severe is the attention you give it. You should understand that there is a reason DP exists, and stop giving attention to silly thoughts like OMG I KNOW SOMETHING OTHERS DONT, OMG IM NOT GETTING BETTER IM GOING TO BE LIKE IN THIS STATE FOREVER OMG THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH EVERYTHING.
> No, you are just fueling it with more anxiety. Let.your.mind.rest.
> There is NO WAY you're going to suffer from it forever. People who have had it for such a long time (1+year) have additional problems like gad, several panic attacks,depression. If this was caused by a drug or a traumatic experience, Im sure it will go away as you stop thinking about it this much. I know how hard it is. And stop saying ''I'd rather be dead'' no. Stop being so negative. It will get better. Just have faith and be positive and STOP PAYING TOO MUCH ATTENTION ON IT


We aren't going through the same thing if this is what you have to say. Ok yeah I can barely walk but yeah pay no attn to it. Being negative? Do you personally know me and know what I have to do everyday? Yes, I might as well be dead if this is life; I am allowed to say that without someone telling me I am negative. I have been suffering on and off since 2009. There is no 'me' period. Tell me how you ignore that when you get up and go to work everyday? When you go to drive your car? Please tell me your ways.

We are not walking through the same thing. You have NO idea how i try to hold on to hope and faith. You have NO idea how badly I DO want to live. That's why DP makes me want to die. It is THE worst possible thing that can happen to anyone. I can barely move.


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