# Hello.



## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

My name is Tyler, I'm 16 years old.

I have Depersonalization Disorder.

I recieved this nightmare of a disorder a month ago after smoking pot. I often thought the disorder would pass, due the the research I read it could last anywhere from a month to years. But it could be that I'm one of the unlucky ones. I've also heard that marajuana doesn't make you have this disease, it only triggers it, so that kind of brings alittle depression off of me seeing I don't have to blame myself for this.

I believe that I've attained this due to heradital matters, due the there is a member in my family with schizophrenia.

I have not seeked help yet for my disorder, but I go to a medical orientation tomorrow (whatever that is) and hope to be put on a good medication, maybe zoloft or prozac (most likely prozac). And I hope that this goes away, or atleast controls my mood swings, depresion, or ultimatly get rid of _it_

I've only been with this disorder for a month and have thought on "giving up" already. Hopefully I'm just having a bad day, and it will pass. I'm just so scared that I will never get better, and when I think about never getting better, it literally brings tears to my eyes. But it was bound to happen sooner or later, and I have to be strong like all of you.

It is hard. I asked myself, "why me?" for the first time today, and it will probably be the first of many. This disorder makes no sense to me, and I just can't make out the problem. I hope there are good medications out there, besides just anti-depresents.

If some of you could answere some of my questions I'd be very happy.

Questions:

- How long have you had it and when did you first get it? 
- Was your depersonalization drug induced?
- What medication works the best for you?
- Do you think since I'm a teenager maybe it will pass?

Thank you all very much.


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

Ty010 said:


> Questions:
> 
> - How long have you had it and when did you first get it?
> - Was your depersonalization drug induced?
> ...


since i was at least 7. drug induced? no, emotionally abusive family, i wanted out the only way i knew how. i refuse to take meds, its not going to go away, even when you age.


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

Why not take meds if it makes it more managable?


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

I would appreciate as much feedback as possible.
Bump.


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

i'm under the belief that the body can repair itself. your mind indeed may have an imbalance of proteins and sort. but the brain also controls the flow of each. rewiring the brain is done every moment just simply by habit, break of habit, by seeing something different. eventually there is a possibility of looping all the way back to the beginning or something like it. perhaps i don't feel, due to the lack of things to make me feel. if i do more things to make me feel, my brain realizes the appropriate actions for such and begins to send out the proteins that make me feel happy, sad, angry, loved. etc.
i've been living my life working so hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle, which is more of a growing habit, than trying to experience the opportunities i give myself. 
Ex. why waste 30 bucks to go and see and old friend to see what would happen, when i could use that money for gas to travel back and forth to work. 
ex. someone new comes your way, and wants to be invited into your life, do i calmly present myself and allow them to visit for a short while. or do i suck it up and be myself however i am, and allow her/him to stay as long as they want?

the last reason i could consider for having this DPDR is to do exactly the same thing i've been doing only to take medicine and still hate it. I've had this to make myself brave enough to let go. and thats what im working on. letting go and feeling what i should have never bottled up.


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

I believe I atleast need anti-depresents for those bad days. As you know, some days are just very hard to handle. I believe medicine because it most likely makes it managable and just simply abit better.

maybe it could be different since mine is drug induced and yours is induced with family problems?


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

yea, but no matter what, that bad day is still there. medicine is like covering your eyes, in front of a bully. you don't see it coming, so you don't worry about it. but it's still happening.


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

Aslong as this disorder is out of my mind as MUCH as possible, than I'm happy.

Very Happy.


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

yea i understand the homework thing though. i usually watch tv or movies and get so involved in whats going on that i forget i even have this horrid numbness.
surfthechannel.com works the best for me.


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

yea man, aslong as you can stay as busy as possible and keep connected to people.

Like my usual reutine goes like this:

School -> Friends -> Home Than bed.

I only stay isolated for, an hour or two, and it's made this month of DP/DR a very smooth one, excluding today.

See today I stayed home and told my parent's about this disorder. And I stayed home from school, which I found it hard to keep myself busy. And it was just a hard day. Probably my only hard day this month, but still 1:30 ratio isn't bad. But I go to the doctor tomorrow and we'll see what they give me, most likely prozac, and hopefully the medication doesn't take way to long to kick in :/


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

yea. idle mind is the worst. specially when your by yourself for months at a time, now when im at work i dont even feel connected to people. they don't understand that you don't feel sympathy for them, they just think your an asshole, lol.
well typically, they don't give you medicine the first time round. i'd say like a week. then your down...with the sickness.
buwahaha. ehem. i couldn't help it.


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

I'm pretty sure I'll get medicine. Seeing that I'm only 16, and my mom is coming with me etc.


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

oh, make sure you ask for a lollypop. they always have dumdums there. i find that discriminating. a doctor with dumdums to suck on. hypocrites! BAh.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

diagnosedindigo said:


> yea, but no matter what, that bad day is still there. medicine is like covering your eyes, in front of a bully. you don't see it coming, so you don't worry about it. but it's still happening.


This is not what medication is doing at all. Medication is not the answer to all problems, but it can help people to stabilize and sort themselves out. It may be the chicken and egg about which comes first - the chemical imbalances or the anxious thoughts, but either way medication can be part of the answer. Even if it is your anxious thoughts and fears that are triggering imbalances, medication can give you the strength (artificially or not) to get back on your feet and work on changing those thought patterns so you can stabilize yourself.


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## diagnosedindigo (Feb 10, 2009)

perhaps your right.


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## Eric (Jan 28, 2009)

to those non-believers that dp won't go away, i believe it can, who is to say it cant. I look at it like a horrible depression, it can go away, its just a matter of how you want to look at it. When i found it could go away, it made so happy that i wont live like my whole life, hopefully. But i firmly believe im getting better and this is all without any psychiatric help or meds or anything of this sort, i brought this upon myself, therefore im going t make it go away


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Eric said:
 

> to those non-believers that dp won't go away, i believe it can, who is to say it cant. I look at it like a horrible depression, it can go away, its just a matter of how you want to look at it. When i found it could go away, it made so happy that i wont live like my whole life, hopefully. But i firmly believe im getting better and this is all without any psychiatric help or meds or anything of this sort, i brought this upon myself, therefore im going t make it go away


You are correct. DP/DR can and probably will get better for every single sufferer.

If you can do it without meds or therapy thats great. No harm in needing either of them though to help you along the way.


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## Guest (Feb 16, 2009)

Hello Ty and welcome to the forum.



diagnosedindigo said:


> i refuse to take meds, its not going to go away, even when you age.


I think this is a very negative statement to be throwing at a 16 year old who is scared and looking for reassurance.

Depersonalisation is treatable and you can recover. I am recovered.

While medications are not a cure, they can be helpful to most people with Dp,d. If Dp,d is a result of depression for instance, medications can help to correct the chemical inbalance that causes depression. Medications can help a person to cope or function like crutches help a person to walk until a person properly heals. The first time I had severe depression I would not have recovered without the crutch of the anti-depressants that I was taking, they saved my life. Although medication isn't always the answer, it can be helpful and sometimes even life saving.


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

Spirit said:


> Hello Ty and welcome to the forum.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Hey spirit, how was your dp/dr induced?

and yea meds are helping me alot, I'm only taking 10mg of prozac, and it's making my dp/dr alot more managable. And I've been keeping myself really bussy, so it's not on my mind, and I'm not depressed anymore.

See I had very minimal anxiety problems before I tried marajuana with some friends, and the marajuana triggered this disorder, so the prozac helps with my anxiety alittle, I still have some anxiety but it's not really anything like it used to be.


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## Guest (Feb 17, 2009)

Ty010 said:


> Hey spirit, how was your dp/dr induced?
> 
> and yea meds are helping me alot, I'm only taking 10mg of prozac, and it's making my dp/dr alot more managable. And I've been keeping myself really bussy, so it's not on my mind, and I'm not depressed anymore.
> 
> See I had very minimal anxiety problems before I tried marajuana with some friends, and the marajuana triggered this disorder, so the prozac helps with my anxiety alittle, I still have some anxiety but it's not really anything like it used to be.


Hello Ty.
I already had some dissociative issues beforehand but the trigger for my Dp,d was severe post natal depression and the severe anxiety that accompanies it along with Benzodiazepine withdrawal which I'm sure didn't help matters.

I would say that it was possibly your underlying anxiety issues that are the problem. Some people who suffer with anxiety fear the loss of control that they feel after taking drugs, there is nothing they can do to regain a sense of control once the drugs have taken effect, so the mind the mind attempts to take control in other ways.

I'm glad the Prozac is helping you and that you aren't depressed anymore, that's great. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. How did you manage your issues with anxiety before the Dp,d though or didn't they interfere with your life too much?


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## drawynitsed (Dec 14, 2008)

Ty010 said:


> Questions:
> 
> - How long have you had it and when did you first get it?
> - Was your depersonalization drug induced?
> ...


-Over 9 years, I woke up with it on my 13th birthday
-No
-I haven't taken any medication, I'm seeing a therepist for the first time next month
-No, most of the people here got DPd in their pre-teens and teen years. But, it is possible to recover from. =]


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## Ty010 (Feb 10, 2009)

Spirit said:


> Ty010 said:
> 
> 
> > Hey spirit, how was your dp/dr induced?
> ...


No anxiety didn't effect my life that much at all, but if I had to do simple tasks or whatever that I felt anxious about, I'd feel a severe amount of anxiety.

Like introducing myself to classmates on the first day of school, or doing an informative report in the front of the class. Like I was in a Tech school that I had to apply for, and I got in, and I had a class they couldnt change, and we did social things in the class EVERY day, and it would make me so nervous, I had to transfer schools (happy I did anyways, because I met 90% of my friends from that school), but still, my anxiety shouldn't of been that bad.

But my dp/dr is getting better every day it feels sometimes, sometimes I just simply tell myself "I don't have it" and it acctually works sometimes. That simple? lol.

but hopefully it stays on the positive route for me.


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