# deteriorating



## crazybeautifulll (May 9, 2008)

i feel more lost and gone than i ever have today. i CAN'TT get a grip on my mind in the slightest. throughout this whole phase ive been able to think and convincve myself im goin to be okay and im not leaving anyone in my life, but today i feel like im just GONE. completely. fully disappeared. im really scaring myself. i feel like some other being took over my mind or something nd i jus simply CANNOT overcome it. i dont know what it is about today, but every minute counts. and i think im goin to ban myself to my room. has anyone felt like their mind has just *deteriorated*?
i can't remember my life ica n but the image just vcanishes and i feel no relation to them, and i dont feel like anyone is in any relation to me. im absolutly terrified. and i have no idea how to hold on anymore. it used to be pretty easy but today its like my body turned on me, and i just CANT do anything, its like im watching myself fall into pieces, and i cant stop it. *INTENSE RAGE*
im just worried this isn't dp. and ive already driven through the red light :[


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## crazybeautifulll (May 9, 2008)

the thing is alll of that makes me feel worse hah
cause i dont feel like myself. i get really low and stiff and i feel like some sort of monster when it alk to friends because i feel as if im goin to LEAVE everyone, i still dont understand all of that, and i feel so dramatically changed and gone that it only reminds me of how much i lost my life.


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## Tanith (May 29, 2008)

Ye its just annoying. I have sorta gotten used to my dp but some days are harder than others, I can hold myself together and act normal in front of friends and family but the me I used to be is simply gone. I have memories of what different feelings felt like but I am unable to feel them, even the way it feels to have a cold breeze on the skin is not the same anymore, These feelings let you enjoy life and without them being happy is just that little bit harder. All you can do is try to focus on each day at a time and try continuing your life in attempt to achieve some happiness.


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