# questioning everything!



## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

hey guys... aint been here in a while.... been relatively dpfree since march.... although when i am stressed (like now) it comes and goes... 
i am just wondering if any of you have setbacks that really throw you... like one day u will be perfectly fine.. and the next life makes no sense again... 
i also wonder if anyone has the same thoughts as i do ,... :
why am i here at all?
why does anything exist?
why are things the way they are?
how can i accept the unknown when it scares me ?

also sometimes i feel like its so weird to have a body.. its like everything that was normal to me before is now so weird! 
i have had setbacks like this and recovred... but these thoughts really and truly throw me... they frighten me so much and i cant function wen they get so bad.... i feel like the aspect of existence is just so crazy.... yet before my anxiety and dp it was so normal to exist.... any responses would be appreciated,... 
i know this is me dissociating from whats really wrong.. but i cannot shake the thoughts....


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

katiej said:


> hey guys... aint been here in a while.... been relatively dpfree since march.... although when i am stressed (like now) it comes and goes...
> i am just wondering if any of you have setbacks that really throw you... like one day u will be perfectly fine.. and the next life makes no sense again...
> i also wonder if anyone has the same thoughts as i do ,... :
> why am i here at all?
> ...


I used to get existential thoughts, here's an old thread of mine from 1 or 2 years ago

http://www.dpselfhel...__1#entry190679

PS: Don't mind all those typos (existencial instead of existential) lol

Edit: And incase you're wondering, yes I got rid of them ^^


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

thanks for replying... these thoughts left for me too... but they come bak wen stressed.... id like to know ur theorys on em... my therepist says its definately a way of coping and trying to make sense of my buried feelings that are painful... 
the thoughts are so convinving tho... like they baffle u... and makes me think how could i ever get bak lost in life... its like everything u once knew now makes no sense! do u ever think like this anymore? if so is it wen u are anxious?


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

katiej said:


> thanks for replying... these thoughts left for me too... but they come bak wen stressed.... id like to know ur theorys on em... my therepist says its definately a way of coping and trying to make sense of my buried feelings that are painful...
> the thoughts are so convinving tho... like they baffle u... and makes me think how could i ever get bak lost in life... its like everything u once knew now makes no sense! do u ever think like this anymore? if so is it wen u are anxious?


First of all I must say, I never got these thoughts again, and even if I think about them, I don't get anxious anymore.

My theory on this is that we feel really detached from reality, that along with anxiety creates obsessive thoughts, the need to "prove" that we really are still here and exist, the truth is, those thoughts do not help at all in what comes to feeling real, I know it looks impossible to stay away from those thoughts but try to focus hard on something else when you get them


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

i know yes... but i dont feel detached or unreal anymore like i did a year r two bak.. i feel here (well i think i do ) but i jsut cant understand why i am here... could u tell me some of the thoughts u had? ... i feel like everything i think i learned and it makes me feel planned r programmed or sumthing.. and its like now isnt happening right now... how could it be... ! its so weird.. and also did u feel trapped in ur body ever? like it was so weird to even be in a body


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## bLoNdE-RT408 (Jul 26, 2012)

can anyone tell me if they have been successful with getting rid of the DP and if so, what things did they do to help themselves? I don't know what else to do. I've tried almost everything I know.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

it takes time... its a stress reaction.... what symptoms do u have


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

katiej said:


> can anyone tell me if they have been successful with getting rid of the DP and if so, what things did they do to help themselves? I don't know what else to do. I've tried almost everything I know.


I didn't get rid of DP/DR (yet) , I've been on diet/exercise/supplements and I've been feeling much better!


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

katiej said:


> hey guys... aint been here in a while.... been relatively dpfree since march.... although when i am stressed (like now) it comes and goes...
> i am just wondering if any of you have setbacks that really throw you... like one day u will be perfectly fine.. and the next life makes no sense again...
> i also wonder if anyone has the same thoughts as i do ,... :
> why am i here at all?
> ...


Its weird mine went away for like a year an a half an then came back coz I was stressed too, thats why I came on here but its starting to go again now







I think when you're stressed a lot of the time it will come back again, I guess sometimes your brain can't cope with all the stress your under or something! When things in my life are going good though an I'm happy my dp normally goes away.x


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

i agree yes!... but would u agree that nothing makes sense once these thoughts come back with a bang? like u feel just as lost and confused as u ever did... 
but when you are out of the shit u feel normal and life seems normal again... i am having such a bad few days that again i cannot remember wat normal feels like !


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

Yeah, I can relate. When my DP was at its worse; all my thought processes seemed to disintegrate. Just even looking at words seemed strange. Things have improved. Things still get really weird at times; but I transition better onto something else. It's like a car with no oil; gets locked up....


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

katiej said:


> i agree yes!... but would u agree that nothing makes sense once these thoughts come back with a bang? like u feel just as lost and confused as u ever did...
> but when you are out of the shit u feel normal and life seems normal again... i am having such a bad few days that again i cannot remember wat normal feels like !


Yeah u do feel confused an scared an stuff again







i think mine came back coz i was so stressed out an i think my tablets had stopped working properley, i had a few really shit days while my body got used to my new tablets an stuff an things were a bit crazy at home aswell which didn't really help lol, but when things got better i started to feel better too







x


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

thats good.... mine comes on me so creppily.... ill get a few thoughts i try to ignore... then bam a few days later i am in hell and nothing at all makes any sense... 
i feel terrified in my own body and nothing makes sense around me... its like i understand it it but now i have realized something... 
when my brain and i calm down do u think life will feel normal again?
its funny cos i have evidence that things can feel normal again... but wen i am in this i cant imagine feeling any other way.. ! 
yes gill words even seem weird... its like everything i know is something i have been taught... i feel trapped into existing and it makes me nauseous and paniked !!!


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

katiej said:


> its funny cos i have evidence that things can feel normal again... but wen i am in this i cant imagine feeling any other way.. !


Yeah; it's like being on a mind-altering drug.


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

katiej said:


> thats good.... mine comes on me so creppily.... ill get a few thoughts i try to ignore... then bam a few days later i am in hell and nothing at all makes any sense...
> i feel terrified in my own body and nothing makes sense around me... its like i understand it it but now i have realized something...
> when my brain and i calm down do u think life will feel normal again?
> its funny cos i have evidence that things can feel normal again... but wen i am in this i cant imagine feeling any other way.. !
> yes gill words even seem weird... its like everything i know is something i have been taught... i feel trapped into existing and it makes me nauseous and paniked !!!


yeah when u get better, stuff will all seem normal again just like it was before, its weird! Life can definitely feel normal again, if it can for me, it can for u too







x


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Do u have experience with life returning to normal ? I go into a panic just at the thought of bein here and being conscious ... It's like it's not normal anymore . It truly is terrifying and I really dunno wat to do wen it gets so bad ...


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

Yeah I feel normal again now







go an talk to someone or do something to distract u when u feel really bad an try remember its not forever an remember what life used to be like before u had dp, u will have that again







since ive been on medication i feel better than i ever did in my life though lol, i dont get depressed all the time anymore an although i still feel anxious i dont get panic attacks anymore which i used to have everyday, u will get better x


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

thanks smiley.... 
wen yours went away was life completely bak to normal.. did u feel safe again and not terrified of ur existence... 
it feels like now that i have looked at life this way i cant return to my old way of thinking... 
i feel like its a curse that i was born and its a torture... whereas before it was normal... ofcourse i was here why wouldnt i be sorta thing... 
now i wonder how we are all programmed to think as humans and i think how did i play along with this game before.. and its like im fighting against normal thinking because i dont want to ignore the way i have now looked at it...

about two weeks ago this wasnt the case and life felt normal again... but with stressors this comes on so bad.... starts with mild thoughts then it gets deblitating to the point where i dont wanna be here anymore... im scared. sooo scared.. and it feels like it cant be a protection mechanism ... because it feels its only these thoughts alone that frighten me...


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

katiej said:


> thanks smiley....
> wen yours went away was life completely bak to normal.. did u feel safe again and not terrified of ur existence...
> it feels like now that i have looked at life this way i cant return to my old way of thinking...
> i feel like its a curse that i was born and its a torture... whereas before it was normal... ofcourse i was here why wouldnt i be sorta thing...
> ...


Yeah my life pretty much went exactly back to normal but better actually lol, I felt lighter coz everyone knew about my problems so I didn't have to pretend anymore an my tablets made me feel calmer an happier







yeah I felt safe an like me again, it didn't happen straight away but u just have to be patient an believe that you will get better again, I never thought if I get back to normal I thought when I get back to normal coz I knew that I would (most of the time!)







you will be ok! Have u been to the doctors about it? I think u should!
when my dp was really bad I was terrified coz I didn't understand what was happening to me or if it would ever go away but when u understand that you're not going crazy an that its not forever I think it helps a bit so try an remember that! I'm not trying to say that I can make people better or anything tho coz I wouldn't be on here if mine didn't come back lol, its starting to go away again now tho, u just have to try an forget about it an do something to distract yourself! U will get back to normal again







x


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

thats great... i cant imagine ever feeling safe being alive again.. its such a weird feeling.... did ur existential thoughts jsut leave when you felt betteR?
and is it defo dissociation that causes those thoughts.. 
i feel like i jsut landed on the planet!


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## onlygirlintheworld (Jul 3, 2012)

You will do, it just takes time







no not straight away, they just kind of went away gradually an even it i did still have some scary thoughts, i guess they just didn't bother me as much! I think it helped me to know that i wasn't going crazy an that i wasn't the only person in the world who's ever felt those scary feelings! I dont really know what causes them to be honest, i think for me it was anxiety an stress, yeah i used to feel the same way! Like you're brand new an u don't remember what u were like before! Your family feel like strangers, your own face looks like a stranger an photos of your old life look like someone else! U will get all your memories an your life back tho, don't worry







x


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