# Almost recovered, but in need of help dealing with downtime



## ChrisPA (Dec 22, 2009)

Okay, I have made huge progress with my DP/DR over the past year. I no longer have feelings of Depersonalization or Derealization, but I still have many introspective and dissociated thoughts that generate fear. These tend to happen largely when I have downtime to think i.e. in my car driving home from work, sitting around on the weekends etc. In these situations the thoughts still have the power to take over my mind, and produce bad anxiety and the occasional panic attack. For me the key to getting out of the 24/7 DP/DR was positive distraction of all kinds. Going out skateboarding, editing video, playing video games, working, watching sports and comedies on T.V. When I am able to access or do these things I am rarely experiencing DP/DR, but when I am in the situations where I can't like family gatherings, traveling(use to be my favorite thing)the thoughts get me almost every time. This is becoming extremely frustrating. My last two vacations were more or less ruined because of this, and I always dread going to events with my family or girlfriend's family because I act unlike myself and experience extreme levels of anxiety and panic attacks. Does anyone have any tips to get through times and situations like this with more comfort? I feel like this is the last thing I have to overcome to be completely rid of my DP/DR. Any and all suggestions would be a huge help!

Thanks,
Chris


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

ChrisPA said:


> Okay, I have made huge progress with my DP/DR over the past year. I no longer have feelings of Depersonalization or Derealization, but I still have many introspective and dissociated thoughts that generate fear. These tend to happen largely when I have downtime to think i.e. in my car driving home from work, sitting around on the weekends etc. In these situations the thoughts still have the power to take over my mind, and produce bad anxiety and the occasional panic attack. For me the key to getting out of the 24/7 DP/DR was positive distraction of all kinds. Going out skateboarding, editing video, playing video games, working, watching sports and comedies on T.V. When I am able to access or do these things I am rarely experiencing DP/DR, but when I am in the situations where I can't like family gatherings, traveling(use to be my favorite thing)the thoughts get me almost every time. This is becoming extremely frustrating. My last two vacations were more or less ruined because of this, and I always dread going to events with my family or girlfriend's family because I act unlike myself and experience extreme levels of anxiety and panic attacks. Does anyone have any tips to get through times and situations like this with more comfort? I feel like this is the last thing I have to overcome to be completely rid of my DP/DR. Any and all suggestions would be a huge help!
> 
> Thanks,
> Chris


Hi

My personal coping mechanism for this one is probably a little on the dodgy side considering as my solution is quite dissociative in itself: Daydreaming. It's the book I am never going to bother writing. Just a set of characters I send through various scenes. This may not be any use to you, but for me it just provides a way in which to focus repetetive thoughts on something of no consequence. Of course if you do this in a social situation you may come over a little detached after all.

Hope someone else has a more positive idea


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## Nugget (Jan 12, 2010)

Don't fear the thoughts. If you can, think about them so much that you get bored of them. Or just think about them, say "oh.. ok", and before you know it you'll already be thinking about something else.
But if you react with "Oh no! This type of thought again!?" You'd be reacting with fear or anxiety to that thought, which in turn causes you to think about it more, and more, and more, and eventually causes a panic attack. Don't react emotionally to thoughts, be neutral to them and they will fade away on their own.

Don't think about them fading away, don't think about not having them, just think about them in a neutral way.


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## alphaman (Nov 4, 2005)

I can relate to what you are saying. Distraction is a great way to fight DP/DR - but at least what I really wanted was to be safe and calm by myself in quiet moments again. I've had weeks in the past where basically i'm functioning ok...but theres a nagging sense of something being staved off that starts creeping out in quiet moments, or social situations.

This is the brutal thing with anxiety/DP/DR - it destroys ones sense of sacred saftey in your own mind.

I'd say you still have underlying anxiety/tension and stuff to sort out. I've posted a bit recently on my recent experiences... quitting caffeine helped, and realising that I was possibly just plan suffering from nervous exhaustion --- the old school nervous breakdown is similar to anxiety/DP symptoms. I've always found alchohol really helps (though it has abuse potential of course) and have been trying Kava with good results. (both possibly work on GABA system in the brain?)

I guess I'm saying theres deeper healing you can do, and eventually your nervous system will settle down and the invasive troublesome thoughts won't be there in the same way - in fact they won't be there at all. Theres not a one size fits all to this... its not just about 'getting better' I think its a sort of holistic things that affects your whole life - what your deepest truest expression of yourself is, things you love (or don't), old and new feelings etc etc... at least for me, going through anxiety/DP and going through the healing process can change the way you see all your memories and experiences.... to return to 'normal' isn't quite right as you might find normal was pretty unhealthy in the past (which gets us here in the first place). Maybe there are aspects to the social situations you are ignoring...why are you there? Social pressure? Again --- pressure to conform and deny ones intuition I think can fuel a lot of this. Living a lie because you are literally pretending to be something else.

Even quitting caffiene for me - theres pressure to not lie in bed for hours on end sleeping (especially with a job) but I think one has to take a stand and just carve out the time and space needed to do what you have to do. I wonder sometimes if the body is ignored this way it just starts shouting in the way it can, and I've wondered if DP/DR is like a sort of scream from ones total being to "SORT IT OUT, THIS ISN'T WORKING".



ChrisPA said:


> Okay, I have made huge progress with my DP/DR over the past year. I no longer have feelings of Depersonalization or Derealization, but I still have many introspective and dissociated thoughts that generate fear. These tend to happen largely when I have downtime to think i.e. in my car driving home from work, sitting around on the weekends etc. In these situations the thoughts still have the power to take over my mind, and produce bad anxiety and the occasional panic attack. For me the key to getting out of the 24/7 DP/DR was positive distraction of all kinds. Going out skateboarding, editing video, playing video games, working, watching sports and comedies on T.V. When I am able to access or do these things I am rarely experiencing DP/DR, but when I am in the situations where I can't like family gatherings, traveling(use to be my favorite thing)the thoughts get me almost every time. This is becoming extremely frustrating. My last two vacations were more or less ruined because of this, and I always dread going to events with my family or girlfriend's family because I act unlike myself and experience extreme levels of anxiety and panic attacks. Does anyone have any tips to get through times and situations like this with more comfort? I feel like this is the last thing I have to overcome to be completely rid of my DP/DR. Any and all suggestions would be a huge help!
> 
> Thanks,
> Chris


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## ChrisPA (Dec 22, 2009)

I haven't had ANY caffeine in over 3 months. Definitely has helped a great deal in ridding myself of some anxiety. I would like to try KAVA but I still take 10/20 mg of Paxil. If I'm not mistaken you cannot mix KAVA with an SSRI. I just recently cut back to 10 mg of paxil in hopes of getting off it altogether in the coming months. Not because it's making me feel worse, but because I am not sure how much it's actually helping me right now. I was on Paxil for 3 years when I was a teenager, and it took me so long to ween off of it, but I know I can do. It's just never easy. I am more interested in trying natural remedies to alleviate the anxiety then prescription medication. I have already started drinking 3-4 cups of Chamomile tea a day after researching it, and have had noticeable calming effects from it. Another great tea to help with sleep, which has chamomile as an ingredient as well, is Sleepy Time tea by Celestial Seasonings. Also I take the Nature's Way Iron Free Multi and an Omega 3 Fishoil supplement which overtime I think have helped me a great deal as well. I agree that drinking can be relaxing but I try to only drink in moderation, because mixing with an SSRI isn't the best thing either. I typically drink once maybe twice a week and have no more than 3 drinks. I feel that alcohol often just leads to more problems long term so I try not to over use it. Once I am off the paxil though, I am definitely going to look into a root like KAVA as well.

You are describing the setbacks I still have perfectly when you discuss the "safe feeling" in one's head. This is the only thing that still causes me intense anxiety and even panic at times. It's almost that if out of nowhere an existential thought pops into my head and causes me to tailspin and feel unsafe within my own mind. Very uncomfortable to say the least, but I am learning to deal with it SO much better. I know that's it's just thoughts, and a reaction to these thoughts that is causing it, so I am learning to take Nugget's advice and react in a neutral way to them. Lately I have hardly had any DP/DR thoughts, and if I feel them starting I am usually able to forget about them within an hour. I still have some progress to make, but I feel like I get closer and closer each time. I don't really feel my social life is causing me any DP/DR or thoughts that lead to it. I am usually extremely relaxed and only feel better around my friends. The only pressure I feel some times regarding my relationships is from my girlfriend, who at times gets very frustrated with my anxiety DP/DR. Don't get me wrong she is also extremely supportive, but sometimes I am trying harder to avoid the anxiety as to not upset her, and like most of you know the harder you try to feel and think a certain way the more it WON'T happen. I know the end of this winter weather in PA too will only help. Getting outdoors and more active in my day to day will only serve to help. Thanks for the thoughts alphaman.


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