# I'm brilliant



## Guest (Dec 7, 2004)

I was thinking, as we all do from time to time, that death isn't a _great_ option, but it sure has gained a few points once I got dp dr. Moving on from that crappy segway into my retarted idea.....

Okay, i'm wondering why murder gets such a bad rap. I can see it now...i'm sitting in front of my computer on dpselfhelpforums.com and a noise behind me startles me. I turn around...see a big fat knife...scream "fuuccckkkkk shiiiittttttt" for about 3 seconds max and its over (provided the assassin was good at his job and i'm not there writhing in pain for an hour).

This sure beats out *a)* - Getting some silly disease on top of dementia (which i'm sure we'll all get in here) and have your last breath in a hospital room with some brudish nurse looking at her watch and waiting to call the coroner and go shove her head in some food trough at lunch break.

and *b* that one that noone likes to talk about...good old suicide. Don't delete this shit because i'm in no way saying its a good option. Like I said...just get yourself murdered. I don't to have to sit around for weeks or so getting the balls (or lack of) to drink battery acid, or go for a stroll on I-95.

I figure, the easiest way to go about this (in my neighborhood) is just make a huuuuge banner and write every bigoted comment known to man on it and drape it on my house. I spent about 3 seconds coming up with that, so if anyone else out there has any good ideas, please fill me in because this scene is dead and i'm out of here.


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2004)

Wow, after reading that, i think I have dementia already.


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2004)

Not that I like or even agree with your post, but If i started selling crack to someone elses customers that would be a way for me to be no longer living.

No I don't sell crack, and NO im not gonna start, I just thought i'd add something before this post most likely gets deleted.


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2004)

Oh btw.... what i wrote was HUMOUR (that was for the moderators)


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/article.asp?ID=374

just place an ad. he could be out in less than a year.

http://news.zdnet.co.uk/business/legal/ ... 104,00.htm


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2004)

Hahaha. Now THATs disturbed. I wanna ask that guy what human tastes like though. I've always been pretty curious...


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

man flesh tastes pretty good if you ask me. 8)


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## Guest (Dec 17, 2004)

I think that part of our head has reverted back into its infantile state. When we were


An idiot I know said:


> Capsule F: alls i do seriously is make fart noises and goo poopy pee fart pippy poo shit fart peepy


 all over the place at a few months old, we would prob look at ourselves in the mirror, not have a royal fuck who it was and commence soiling our daiper.

So, I will now pick up a hammer and go back to the future but without the car and the parkinson's. With each swift whack to the head i will go back one year in intelligence and awareness. I just need to find someone to help me out because i bet i'll go unconcious around 10 blows to the frontal lobe and i'll need someone to continue the job. I hope they don't trade me to the Rangers when I awake from my coma though.


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## Guest (Jan 8, 2005)

^ Bump haha


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

that whole story is nuts. i mean, really, really, really nuts! Like, congratulations people, you get the absolutely most [email protected]#$ed up person in the world award.

"Hmm...what do you think, old boy. Should we fry your penis or throw it on the barby?"

"Well, you know what they say about fried food...maybe we should steam it."

"Well, that's possible too...hmm...where did i put the worscest...umm, worsceststs...."

"Worscestshire?"

"That's the one. I never could pronounce it. Bloody English."

"I think it's over there on the counter beside my marinating spleen."

"So it is...so it is. Now, what were you thinking in the way of dessert? I have some lemon sorbet, with a hint of jasmine...but i could always be cajoled into chocolate covered brain bits."

"Oh, you saucy fellow, you."

They share the kind of hearty laugh that only partners in cannibalism could share and commence sampling the smorgasboard of organs...

Like, that's really just so out there...

s.


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2005)

Yeah, hah hah, that guy's a little strange.


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2005)

I hope you're talking about the cannibal. If you're referring to lovable zig as the crazy one in this thread, not the man who eats human beings, then thats fucked up.


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2005)

Yeah, heh heh, I was talking about the cannibal Ziggy 

We're all ideal citizens compared to him.


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