# IM ABOUT TO CALL 911!!!!!!!! IM FREEEEAAAAKING OUT!!!!!!



## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

I don't think i've ever had DP this bad. I just have a constant flow of fear flowing through my brain and i've done everything I know to do to calm down, I even took a xanax AND an ativan and nothing is helping.  I feel like I just stopped existing and I can't stop panicing. I just want to run headfirst into a wall and knock myself out. I don't know what else to do. I'm just afraid they'll lock me in a psych ward, i've been there before and its a horrible place :!: . This has got to stop!!!!!!!. I'm FREAKING SHAKING IN FEAR!!!!!!!!. I have super DR that feels like an acid trip from what people who have done it have said and I have super DP that makes me feel like i'm not here. THIS IS TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!!  .


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

If i were you i would go somewhere where you can lay down comfortably bury your head in a pillow and close your eyes and focus on your breathing. I know how rough it can be but it should pass once your meds kick in you just need to slow yourself down.


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

i should add it's also a bit weird that that post put you at 911 posts...very strange.


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## hd83 (Jan 10, 2006)

Are you having a panic attack? That might be what's causing you to feel so bad. I've had panic attacks before but they WILL pass. Did you take any kind of drug or supplement that may have caused this? Have you been getting enough sleep? Try to lay down and watch TV or just lay down and take slow, deep breaths. I promise this feeling will pass. It's probably just a panic attack. You WILL be OK. I know it sucks right now, but it will get better. Let us know how you're doing!

Heather


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## Flare88 (Oct 22, 2009)

aww geez..i know how you feel. for some reason lately it's just been getting so hard to deal with. really really anxious about it lately...i've been detaching myself from people. all i want to do is be alone in my bedroom but that is just as scary but bearable. i can't stand it when people aren't real though. because then they could notice you're off, right? but we'll get through it... nothing is permanent. everything is always changing. every moment is always in the past. the future is always now. something new is on the way.  hang in there.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

Naw Heather, I was trying to hold a panic attack back, still am but i've calmed down a tiny bit. No I haven't taken anything but whats probably causing my DP to be so bad is the fact that I drank last night. But it just won't go back down to my base level, its worse. I'm having that sensation like i'm in another world and i'm on auto pilot and i'm experiencing something different in DR that I haven't before. Its like things I look at seem to move or sway side to side a little and when i'm standing in one spot, I kinda feel like i'm moving up and down real slow inside my body and i'm not even moving. I haven't experienced things like this before. I talked to Tommygunz on the phone and that kinda helped me a little, but its still BAD. He told me that since I drank last night and only slept 4 hours, i'm probably having a dopamine AND a seritonin crash that will subside and my equilibrium is probably off due to dehydration which would account for the new experiences. I just feel so detatched like i'm not even here at the pc right now. Someone say something that might cheer me up some, I need to know again that this isn't real and its just my brain making me feel this way and I haven't REALLY dissapeared.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

Flare88 said:


> aww geez..i know how you feel. for some reason lately it's just been getting so hard to deal with. really really anxious about it lately...i've been detaching myself from people. all i want to do is be alone in my bedroom but that is just as scary but bearable. i can't stand it when people aren't real though. because then they could notice you're off, right? but we'll get through it... nothing is permanent. everything is always changing. every moment is always in the past. the future is always now. something new is on the way.  hang in there.


Thanks Flare  , I needed to here something like that. But even though I KNOW i'm not the only one going through this, its still just as lonely and frightening  .


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## dragonhat (Oct 5, 2009)

Garjon said:


> i should add it's also a bit weird that that post put you at 911 posts...very strange.


Wow, that is weird.


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## Guest (Oct 25, 2009)

This will pass Dannie, and then you'll be back to feeling normally insane, instead of Super DPer.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

dragonhat said:


> Garjon said:
> 
> 
> > i should add it's also a bit weird that that post put you at 911 posts...very strange.
> ...


I'm so out of it I didn't even notice that. :shock:


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> then you'll be back to feeling normally insane, instead of Super DPer.


Yeah, tell me about it :roll: . This gets REEEEEAAAALLLLLYYYYYY old man. :| *sigh*


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## hd83 (Jan 10, 2006)

Glad to know you're doing a little better. I would suggest not drinking anymore and take a day to just relax and get back on track. Sleep deprevation can definitely affect your DP. Get some good sleep and just relax for the next few days and you should be back to "normal." 

Heather


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

hd83 said:


> Glad to know you're doing a little better. I would suggest not drinking anymore and take a day to just relax and get back on track. Sleep deprevation can definitely affect your DP. Get some good sleep and just relax for the next few days and you should be back to "normal."
> 
> Heather


Thanks Heather. I've officially decided that i'm going to do everything in my ability to say no when there is alcohol around me. Its not worth it.
And yeah, I "guess" you could call it "normal" :roll: .


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

.


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## Guest (Nov 18, 2009)

Hmmmm. The fundamental thing that sticks out to me that you maybe shouldn't have done was trying to hold the panic attack back. You are meant to encourage it to come on, to welcome as much as you can the feelings because then they have no power over you as you aren't fearing them.
This is, in essence, very similar to what you should do with DP.
Basically it sounds like you do have underlying panic disorder or severe anxiety like me. In this case, and I reckon in many, taking supplements alone isn't really gonna cut it.
Read my post titled 90% recovered in the recovery section for some really good info I have amalgamated from dpmanual and anxietynomore, and edited somewhat from what I have learned through my own research. It's logical, it makes complete scientific sense and it's working for me, and has worked for anyone who has ever recovered pretty much in one way or another.
I'm probably not gonna be around much anymore on here because I see people just going round in circles because they still think there is some magic answer that won't involve them making any effort/being able to stay home all day doing nothing to occupy their mind. I feel that I can't do any more really than what I already have, because people don't really listen, they try it for maybe a few days and then I see them back on here worrying about their symptoms again 'does anyone else get this' 'does anyone else get that' - what is that gonna do? Great, yeah, someone else gets it. Now what? They find something else to overanalyse and worry about. I know it's helpful in the beginning to get reassurance but some of these people have been at it ever since I joined nearly 2 years ago and wonder why they are still ill. If something is really worrying you then go to the doctor but discussing it in detail on here is pointless and counterproductive.
Sorry to sound unsympathetic, I'm really not, just exasperated because all these people could be recovering if only they would exert a little patience and realise that when you've been thinking 24/7 for months or years, your brain will probably take half as long again to revitalise, and that's after you've practised and mastered the distraction and replacement behaviour technique. To be blunt - there is NO quick fix, just like you can't take a pill that makes you instantly get a good nights sleep (at least not one that doesn't have a comedown/produce a fake awakeness) or to instantly heal a broken leg. Sorry, this is gonna actually be hard work. 
Anyway I'm getting off my soapbox and taking my dogs for a walk and then I have study to do. 
Good luck everyone.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

you know what I think is strange? that the first thing you do, when you are having a panic attac from DR, writing a post into an internet forum. :? 
i mean, when I have an DR attack, i try to avoid any kind of stimulus, i try to lay in bed, calm down, close my eyes... 
i can imagine that talking to a friend on the phone is okay, because he can pull you back to reality, but first turning on the computer, than loggin in, opening browser, writing... than your attack must finally be over :?:


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## Guest (Nov 18, 2009)

FoXS said:


> you know what I think is strange? that the first thing you do, when you are having a panic attac from DR, writing a post into an internet forum. :?
> i mean, when I have an DR attack, i try to avoid any kind of stimulus, i try to lay in bed, calm down, close my eyes...
> i can imagine that talking to a friend on the phone is okay, because he can pull you back to reality, but first turning on the computer, than loggin in, opening browser, writing... than your attack must finally be over :?:


When I am having dr related panic attacks laying down and closing my eyes only makes it worse. I get all caught up in my own head and start freaking out more. When my dr gets really bad the only thing that helps me is to surf the net or watch videos online. It's distracting. Writing is also a really good release for me and it helps to have somewhere to go, in the midst of your fear, and be reassured by the only people who understand what you are going through.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

strange. for me, such actions make my situations only harder and i just more twist off. ^^
well, we are all different.


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## Mario (Oct 26, 2009)

The way i use to deal with my DR when it gets worse is trying to calm myself down than i sit on a sofa,switch on my laptop and surf on youtube for some relaxing music.Everyone deal with it in many different ways.


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## JessMess (Jan 8, 2009)

Oh dude I know exactly how you feel. I think you're just sinking really deep into your cognitions, especially because you're afraid of the things you're thinking and feeling, it makes them that much scarier and stronger. On top of that, sounds like a panic attack. Every time this happens to me I tell myself the facts. Always go back to the facts. I've been here before. I was ok. I did not hurt myself. My mind is taking over. My cognitions will change. 
Hope I helped, I know the feeling and it robs you of everything....pure hell...your mind is just going absolutely crazy. Connect with your body and try and ground yourself in the moment.


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## dancintrulife (Jun 18, 2009)

How are you feeling now claymore? I'm sorry I wasn't online when you this happened, not that I think I could have helped but just to have been there for you. I'm glad you're feeling a little better now. Take care of yourself, ok.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

THERES ALWAY SOMEONE Fu CKIN HANGIN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T GIVE A FU CK ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




 :twisted:


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## hd83 (Jan 10, 2006)

Why do you say you don't give a f uck anymore Dannie? Are you saying that you're giving up on treatment? Hope you're doing O.K.

Heather


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

hd83 said:


> Why do you say you don't give a f uck anymore Dannie? Are you saying that you're giving up on treatment? Hope you're doing O.K.
> 
> Heather


I was REALLY drunk last night when I wrote that. I've been binge drinking almost every night for two weeks, just got down and deppressed and tried to stay drunk to ease the suffering. I'm gonna still stay on the treatment though, thats really the only option I have.


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## hd83 (Jan 10, 2006)

Keep your head up. Things will get better. I know it may not seem like it, but just give it some time. Maybe going for a walk outside or doing some kind of exercise will help you feel better.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

hd83 said:


> Keep your head up. Things will get better. I know it may not seem like it, but just give it some time. Maybe going for a walk outside or doing some kind of exercise will help you feel better.


Thanks Heather  .


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