# Being extremely pessimistic.



## Victor Ouriques (Jul 15, 2011)

So,after a year being optmism,I can truly say:

It sucks towards DP.

Everytime that I go out in a optmism mood,I just get destroyed by DP.

You put so much expectations,and when you see,DP fucks you up.Destroys your day,your relationship,and it makes you even worse because you thought you would have a good time.

And when I go in a pessimistic way I find much more relief.Because I don't expectate any shit,and sometimes good things happens,and that makes me good.

Today for example,I went to class in the afternoon,and met my girlfriend there,and I thought we would've a great time.

But I'm so dependent of her emotionally,I can't stand a fucking minute away from her without feeling bad.

And I followed her so hard,and she just wanted to talk to her friends,and I was there like a retard,expecting her to leave them,and make me the focus of her life.

What an idiot am I,this never happens.Nobody does it.Only me for the others!I Fuck myself for others,when others doesn't give a shit about me!

Result,I got DP'd almost ALL DAY LONG,and went out of school extremely pissed off,I can't really stand this shit anymore,I just want this bullshit to end.

And I don't blame my gf for that,I'm the one with the fault.I Just put uthopic expectations on her.I need to love myself more,to feel good within me,and not only with other's company.

Today I could see how I have a low self steem.And that,at least for me,is one of the main reasons I'm anxious and DP'd.

Just need to wrote something,I've been hiding this bullshit from everybody,even her doesn't know it.Of course I already told my friends and an older GF,but when they ask it,I say that it's already gone,when I'm getting each day more consumed by this!

DAMN!


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2012)

Victor Ouriques said:


> So,after a year being optmism,I can truly say:
> 
> It sucks towards DP.
> 
> ...


I agree about the bit where you said you 'need to learn to like yourself first', instead of looking to others to feel better. I'm just learning that now... Sad. I used to think others were going to keep me grounded... but I was wrong. No one else gets it; only get myself into trouble when I talk... Thanks for the insight.


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## Abigail- (Jun 28, 2012)

I get exactly what your saying... Many times I'v sat and thought that if I had a better self estemm and actually liked myself as a person then this would be a lot easier for me. With dp comes depression (for me anyway) So in my head I'm really hard on myself which doesn't help at all. I find my self feeling guilty and ashamed for things in my past that before I was dp'd I shrugged off and didn't bother me, but now when I think about some things it sends me into panic because of the nagative feeling the memory brings! I'm doing CBT therapy for depression and anxiety at the moment and my therapist also said we will do some work on self love to, perhaps it could be worth looking in to CBT to xx


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## PoorMe (Jul 29, 2012)

I hate that too.

I feel somewhat ok. All happy and excited. Then boom. Dp kicks in and puts ur on ur ass. And you don't feel like doing anything.

Can't wait to get wasted on alcohol so I feel like myself again. At least enjoy a short period of feeling myself


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