# Feeling 60 % better since 3 years of hell



## Allure (Jul 26, 2005)

Hi,

For those who remember, I am Allure, I am 31 and had dp/dr very very hard for near 3 years. I was always on this board ans posting 300 times a week (LOL) Janine could remember.

I had feelings that I _wasn't there _at all, DR was kitting me very hard. I had time lapses, I wasn't feeling myself, it was horrible. I had major depression on top of that.

All began (I think) with the med they gave to me after my epidural. It was Versed I think. This made me feel automatically dp/dr.

I struggled so hard, I saw many psychologists ans psychiatrists since 3 years. I was feeling insane and I was sure I was kinf of psychotic or schizo. Bit no doctor told me that. One said to me I was having anxiety, the other, depression, another one, dp disorder, and a neurologist thought I was having TLE. But the tests showed nothing.

I did take all meds, tried them all. But not too long. Last one was Paxil, I ended it in december.

I didn't work for 3 years after my delivery. In december the insurance told me I was able to do so. So I did, I had no choice. :shock: I stopped Paxil, continued a bit of Klonopin (0,5 to 1 mg, sometimes less) and sleep pill called Zopiclone in Canada. To my surprise, I made it. I started to work and I felt intelligent enought to use my mind to do proofread ( I am French) , and I didn't think I was insane after. I realized that nobody see that problem. I also realized that when I was concentrating on my work, I didn't feel (not me) or (not there). I just worked. So for me, it was a major turn.

Despite the fact that I don't like my work because I don't like that fact that it's 40 hours a week and very stressful, I am happy because now I see that it's just anxiety. And most of all, it can be better. It can be better.

My miracle drug stay Zopiclone, when I feel very bad, I take a half, and it helps me a lot. And I don't think SSRI's helps really for this condition, I think personally it can help depression, but not focus. Paxil made things much worse for dr and confusion!!!

I am not cured, but I am in the right path. I want to move, and maybe, yes, having another baby. :wink: I don't want this dp thing to decide for me what I have to do in life.

I still struggle a bit with depression, but MUCH LESS than before. For me it's a huge step.

I just want to tell you that YES, it can be better. Just allow yourself to have a routine, to work, and to do things you like. The more you'll be occupied and will have normal projects, the less you will feel dp/dr.

I hope it helps.

Sincerely,

Allure xxx


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## berlin (Aug 19, 2004)

Hi Allure, 
thats wonderful news that you are at last moving forward! I 'feel' too that there is some movement with my own condition, and I think that must be the hardest part- recognising that there *are* changes in our experience.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

I remember you . I don't know that you would remember me, as I believe your posting happened at the same time as one of the points I was only observing the board and not posting.

Regardless I am happy to here you are getting there - i have contemplated going on SSRI's myself but have been hesitant. When I finally get in with my psychiatrist I am definately going to get a Benzo, or something similar (i will mention Zopiclone) to just calm my nerves.

I have been feeling like I am on the verge of getting better for a couple weeks now - but i am experiecning ups and downs.

Hopefully you continue to progress, keep us updated.

Matt


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

hi allure

really pleased to hear you're finding your way out of this; it's been a long hard struggle for you.

all the best
pdr


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## Inflammed (Aug 10, 2004)

Time, it's the only thing that cures.


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## Allure (Jul 26, 2005)

Yeah, maybe time helps, but I am having a relapse right now and I feel very sad, and DR affect me (also times lapses). I feel depressed a lot. Sorry, I just needed to vent. Sometimes I am so angry about this dp thing.

Allure


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## eclecticsheep (Sep 4, 2005)

i just want to add tha taking paxil made me anxious a lot too!! and that that is when my dp became really bad


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## = n (Nov 17, 2004)

I am glad to hear your story, and i remember you.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

Allure,

It's good to hear from you! Especially on a positive note! I am glad things are going well with you. Continue to push on! Take care.

Kelson


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