# My hearts aches when I'm about to laugh



## Emillie (Mar 13, 2012)

I used to have fun and laugh so much when I was younger.
Now I literally feel like something is stopping me from laughing.
It just doesn't come out.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Emily said:


> I used to have fun and laugh so much when I was younger.
> Now I literally feel like something is stopping me from laughing.
> It just doesn't come out.


Do you feel like crying?


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## Overloaded (Sep 8, 2011)

I have DP/R, but I still laugh. Even with my underlying depression. I lost it for the first few months, but it came back.

I'm just saying it's possible, it's not like it's gone forever.


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## QuoAliis (Mar 20, 2012)

Emily said:


> I used to have fun and laugh so much when I was younger.
> Now I literally feel like something is stopping me from laughing.
> It just doesn't come out.


This is how I feel sometimes, too. Someone in my family will pull up a video that I would have found hilarious before the DPD and m heart wrenches because it reminds me how detached I am from everything and everyone. And when I do laugh I feel like someone else is laughing and that just makes it worse.


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## SongBillong (Sep 20, 2011)

Found this post by accident but I'm glad I did because it's spot on.

Laughing feels like a forced action now, and I have to basically prepare myself for each laugh because I can't do it spontaneously. While I'm laughing, I'm questioning why I'm laughing and why we humans laugh like we do so it's never natural. I'm the same as you in that I used to laugh all the time when I was younger but all that spontaneity and fun has gone now


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## seafoamwinter (Oct 12, 2012)

It doesn't bother me. I laugh when I find something funny. Only difference is there's no physical feeling behind it.


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## Emillie (Mar 13, 2012)

insaticiable said:


> Do you feel like crying?


yes and I'd say 90% of the time that doesn't come out either.. It's like I feel indifferent but I want to cry


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## Emillie (Mar 13, 2012)

Update: I feel 100% this way, still. Although depression has hit me harder over the past months. I feel gone, completely detached, and I'm becoming disinterested which is starting to scare me.


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