# Thoughts about life and the universe



## MingDynasty (Jul 21, 2006)

Does anyone else here think about the rest of the cosmos, and what life is constantly? I can't help but think what will happen in a couple quadrillion years, or how we might just be a giant bag of vibrating strings. It puts thing in perspective, here I am going crazy with thoughts of dying when I'm not even a fart in the grand scheme of things.

My DP/DR ravaged mind immediately connects with a cold, unemotional science such as String Theory. It reaffirms my fears that everything we do might just be for nothing. It just so happens that I'm floating around here on this rock with everyone else as a result of a probability distribution.

I kind of hope there is a God to make sense of this all because the idea of an infinite supply of multiverses scares the bejesus out of me. I'd love to destroy the space-time continuity just to tell the other mes to fuck off.

What does everyone else make of this world?

I don't how much time I have in this land, it's ways shock and confuse me, but in the mean time I guess I'll just try to have some fun. Good food, good music, and shrooms are the most magical experience anyone can have and after 20 years I doubt my DR/DP thinking will change so I might as well have the best time I can.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)




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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Yes, and I think thinking of that caused my DP. What caused yours?

First time I experienced DP I was about 6yrs old in the back of my parents' car. We were driving down a long dark road surrounded by trees. And I remember asking myself who made those trees? God. Who made God? No one he was always there.... and I got this surge of panic....

Soon this feeling became constant.

Somehow I think shrooms will worsen you.... be careful.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)




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## Guest (Aug 3, 2006)

I have the same damn problem. I cant stop pondering the universe and esoteric shit and it drives me crazy. I want to stop it but i dont know how to just think about normal things. Like I'll get some thought in my head or concern or worry or question and come and immediately post on this site about it.

I want to stop doing that. I wish I would stop thinking about this kind of stuff.


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2006)

The whole universe just trips me out. Especially when i look at a full moon at night i feel very dp'd and confused about how humans got here and why there are bugs and animals. I always think about how the earth and other planets are perfect spheres and how they just came into place. When I think of dying I wonder if when you die you just disconnect and there is nothing or if we have a soul that wanders around time. When I look at the stars I wonder if there are beings staring back at me from another planet thinking the same thing and when I die I can go to another planet similiar to earth as another being living in their system of things. I always question Religion and think that it was a way to fill in these thoughts that we are having. Before Religion people would think and think and think about this and finally write a book about it, Like the Bible or Quran. Sometimes i stare at ants and spiders and wonder what it would be like to be one of them and if they are just programmed to be ants and spiders. I see through the whole capatalist system as just a sport for wealth that we have to follow or cheat through. We have our minds and hearts split apart from each other when we should be tuning them together for perfect harmony. While we have the ability to think about these things at the end of the day we are only human.


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2006)

The First Law of Thermodynamics: "You can't create or destroy energy"

What is the "universe"? To put it simple I guess it's "matter" and matter is energy right? so if you can not create energy the universe could not of been created (It's been here forever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever and so on), but it could have also been transformed from a different type of energy (The universe could of been something else)... I love this funky sh*t =P ( Mind my French ).


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2006)

Yeah it began as a "russian hamster"










yay so cute! =D


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## MingDynasty (Jul 21, 2006)

Your hamster religion intrigues me and I would like to attend one of your religious events

Thinking of death and the universe does not compose the majority of my thinking, it's just something I can't ignore, you might call me a nerd. I wish I could be a normal frat guy who lives for beer and slipping roofies but I'm not--I'm a dreamer, someone who's not made for a 9-5 world but does it anyway. I enjoy tons of stuff like basketball, Conan, poker and I'm learning to enjoy social interaction. What I can't help is seeing the strangeness of this world, but I don't let it defeat me I play the game of life, trying to experience all this place has to give.


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2006)

What if space itself is part of something bigger and it just grows and grows and grows to no end.


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## enigma (Feb 18, 2005)

Physists currently believe (and I'm not making this up) that the universe is shaped much like the Eiffel Tower, with the narrow tapered part extending into infinity; it literally has no end.

e


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2006)

MingDynasty said:


> Your hamster religion intrigues me and I would like to attend one of your religious events


Yesh; Hail the russian hamster =P


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## Guest (Aug 4, 2006)

enigma said:


> Physists currently believe (and I'm not making this up) that the universe is shaped much like the Eiffel Tower.
> 
> e


What with French people on the outside of the universe? "shivers" =(


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## Cryspatus (Aug 7, 2006)

i feel this way so often. i think it's what caused my dp. the first time i got dissociated was after contemplating death for a period of time. It was so bad i went to the hospital. I was depressed for weeks after, thinking about how insignificant we are, how expendable our lives and my mind is. That's another thing that really triggered my dp. The thought that with one fracture to my skull, my whole way of thinking and percieving could be changed.. that i'm really nothing but a product of my brain, which will one day be eaten by maggots...

the worse thing is the discovery channel. they have the most depressing shows. every show is "The black hole that will one day swallow our galaxy" "Global Warming: it's too late now" "A meteor is bound to hit the earth, and it will kill us all" etc.


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## MingDynasty (Jul 21, 2006)

I get the same way too, but then I think, "Do I want to be the guy who feared losing his life so much that he failed to live it?"


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## Cryspatus (Aug 7, 2006)

for me when i was in the state of depression, the feeling of being expendable was so real that i just said "whats the point?" i figured i might as well live with anxiety for the rest of my life, because in the end it wouldn't change anything. i'm over that now, though, thank god.


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

I can totally relate to this experience too. I remember there was a phase I went through during high school when I got all obsessive over trying to find incongruities in scientific reality. I really believed that finding such oddities within the space-time continuum (such as Jung's idea of synchronicity) would make us seem more significant than just a bunch of atoms and strings having energy transferred around indefinitely. I believed that achieving this was the only way for me to be happy, which was quite naive. There was actually a time when I saw some odd coincidences and my these obsessions became all the more prevalent. I tried to find consistencies in weird things like astrology, and went all hellbent upon this. I think I started to get apophenia, and came to a point where I made loose connections between pretty much anything. Looking back, it's not surprising that I now see myself as crazy during that phase.

Just to tell you, if you think too much of this stuff, you may end up spiralling to this extreme case, which I doubt is a desirable state of mind to any of you. Right now, I somewhat regretfully choose this conventional path of trying to ignore and run away from these thoughts while trying to find pleasure in life.


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## MingDynasty (Jul 21, 2006)

I think it's scary that the best answer to our questions is usually "run away". I don't spend my waking hours thinking about the futuility of life-- I try to live it. Simultaneously, I do probe my brain to answer my questions and appease my mind so I wont have to ignore these feelings.


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

Ni Hi Li St. said:


> Just to tell you, if you think too much of this stuff, you may end up spiralling to this extreme case, which I doubt is a desirable state of mind to any of you. Right now, I somewhat regretfully choose this conventional path of trying to ignore and run away from these thoughts while trying to find pleasure in life.


Well, in my opinion, there's nothing crazy about finding synchronicities and relationships between seemingly unrelated things. The universe is holographic and all things are both interconnected and interrelated. What seems unconnected to our rational thinking mind is actually related in an energetic sense. Two seemingly seperate events in your life can share similar themes, which energetically makes them connected.

I used to think about the shape of the universe. What could come before? Nothingness? What is infinity? What's beyond the edge if there is one?

I don't do that anymore, because I realise that this dichotomy we live in is not real. The 3 dimensional universe we percieve is not the totallity of reality. The truth is that the universe is a singularity with no defined 3-dimensional edges.


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

MingDynasty said:


> I think it's scary that the best answer to our questions is usually "run away". I don't spend my waking hours thinking about the futuility of life-- I try to live it. Simultaneously, I do probe my brain to answer my questions and appease my mind so I wont have to ignore these feelings.


Yep, totally agree with this  You learn nothing from running away, you just become more and more afraid. If your mind wants to explore bizzarre and alien dimensions then let it  Just keep grounded and healthy.


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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

CECIL said:


> The universe is holographic and all things are both interconnected and interrelated. What seems unconnected to our rational thinking mind is actually related in an energetic sense. Two seemingly seperate events in your life can share similar themes, which energetically makes them connected.


Just out of curiosity, where did you get these cool ideas? That is most interesting and pleasant to hear, and a part of me yearns for it to be true.

However, I also found it hard to run away from my skeptical self, which I believe may have developed through the recent years of studying hardcore science. It's now very hard for me to see something and regard it as factual without scientific evidence. This comes to the dilemma of me not believing what I want to believe, which is really hard. Or maybe I'm just someone who lacks good faith.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2006)

I dealt with this same exact thing. Its almost like you spoke the words out of my mouth Ni Hi. Same time, same thing, exactly. I can remember it, was during highschool. I felt so insignificant, and had this ongoing obsession that I was just a bunch of chemicals and neurons reacting to one another. I woke up with those thoughts, went to bed with them, I couldnt shake them......and they made me feel absolutely terrible to contemplate. I tried to read philosophy, science, the Bible, anything to give me some sense of meaning in my life. But it ultimately didnt shake the deep rooted feeling of insignificance and pointlessness. It was as if some unconsolable truth was being held infront of my face and there was nothing I could do about it.

Thank god i am over that phase now. I am now in college and working. But I dont know how much better off I am now than i was. Yeah, im not obsessed with those thoughts anymore, as i used to be, but i sort of feel like after that happened, after i went through that phase, it sort of made me go off the deep in in my mind, so to speak. Its just like I dont care about anything now, Im apathetic. I wake up, the universe sucks, I mean nothing, im chemicals...........and i just get up and go to school, and work. I just deal with it.

But not for one second do i think that its ok, or healthy, to let your mind wander on these obsessions. That will ultimately lead you to self destruction. Do everything you can to get your mind off of the obsessions of life and death.


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## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

I am interested in esoteric philosophy and occultism almost to the point of obsession and ruminate constantly about the meaning of existence. This makes my DP much worse though, and I'm sure its the main reason I'm like this. I'm trying to ground myself in physical things because I feel like a total nutcase otherwise. The fact I'm even interested in occultism makes me worry I'm insane.

You can worry about 'what this all means' when you get better. Right now it's not your top priority. Stop worrying about why you are alive and start living. Get back to duality.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)




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## Ni Hi Li St. (Jul 1, 2006)

In the meantime, do any of you think that having such thoughts is a symptom of dp/dr? If so, I find it disturbing to say that the primary part of my personality may have stemmed from dp/dr. During my obsessive phase in high school, I have been seen as the "deep thinker" by my peers, and it became who I am. It has gotten to the point where I feel that anything else about my personality feels somewhat fake in comparison. In summary, here's the dilemma:

I think about weird deep stuff because I'm dp/dr (not sure if it's symptom)

My personality is primarily someone who deals with weird deep stuff

By transitive property, that means my personality is brought about by dp/dr


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## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

I'd say that people who are deep thinkers are probably more likely to suffer from DP. The obsessional side of the disorder and the 'unreal' nature of it just exacerbate these thoughts and turn them into a deconstructive thing.


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## Cryspatus (Aug 7, 2006)

i hate to condone it, but its pretty amazing that we all think about stuff like this. I hardly meet anyone in person that talks about things like that - religion, death, the universe, physics, etc.. When they do, a lot of times they rehearse some tired old ideas from a docudrama they saw to try and sound smart.
Usually all I hear about is inner circle drama, parties, and drinking. It gets old after awhile. I think about the my life and the universe partly because its a bad habit, but also because i enjoy learning and have an undying curiousity. If this is a common link for most of the people on the board, maybe it's not such a bad thing.


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## strigoi (Jun 27, 2006)

I definetly find "deep thinkers" dominate this board.


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