# Hello, would love some clarification to be put at ease.



## zinc_wit (Apr 4, 2017)

So hey, I'm a 19 year old anxious kid with too much energy and time to be thinking about things and do stupid things, so let me start at the beginning.

I am aware that this was all very stupid, but I have experimented a lot with psychedelic drugs since november, I was also a very frequent weed smoker .(Been off everything for couple of weeks now) I had a pretty bad trip end February and had this general feeling of fear when it comes to living in general, I still can't put my finger on it but sometimes it reappeares since then. So after the last trip I noticed things looking really fuzzy, as if I was out of it 24/7, thought sleeping more and going outside would solve this, it did little. I had these moments where I thought things appeared rather strange, hills and mountains looking rather flat and toy like. I ingored it, thinking it might just be my brain needing to recover from the bad trip, it was around this time too that I started thinking about schizophrenia and how the most common time for it to appear is indeed around my age, so cue the worrying.

A couple of weeks after thinking everything looks fake and as if I'm not really there, I smoke weed on a hangover and get a panic attack, this goes on for days where I feel under adrenaline 24/7 and the constant fear of going schizo, it calmed down a little more than a week ago and I did a lot of internet research (I know, stupid) just adding some fuel to my worrying but also helping me in finding out about DP/DR, but I'm having a hard time accepting this all because I don't trust my self enough on this, I keep being scared of being in a prodomal stage headed towards schizophrenia, so if anyone could read trough my quick list of symptons and give me a rational answer to put me at ease I would highly appreciate it!!

24/7 feeling that I'm rather tired, high, just fuzzy

Having trouble talking, talking slow, wrong pronunciation for words sometimes, my brain goes faster than I can talk, mixing words up or just not finishing a sentence .

The motion blur from objects moving fast, (like my hands) is a lot more 'thick'

Streaks of light or dark spots/lines trough my vision, it's bad at certain moments when I'm inside the house and my whole vision is just obscured with weird spots of dark and light.

Visual snow, especially when looking at dimly lit areas or at the open sky

Zooming in around the edges of my vision, a very blurred vision.

Trouble concentrating.

Weird existential thoughts

And just a very disconnected feeling.

I'm guessing these are pretty normal, but the ones that concern me the most are the talking one and the fact that people their faces, are just very off, eyes seem tot pop out a lot more, and unnecessary facial features get pushed behind, their eyes always seem to come forward a lot more, not sure if this has to do with the fact that I'm 24/7 looking out for schizophrenia symptoms so my brain is under some kind of adrenaline and it causes me to focus on eyes, it's just that sometimes I have a bit mroe trouble looking at a face as a whole, and I started focusing more on details.

Maybe this seems like over worrying, wich it probably is but It's making it hard for me to accept DP/DR and work towards recovery If the back of my mind keeps telling me it might be schizophrenia! I figured after all my irresponsible drugs usage I might also have some HPPD mixed in with all of this.

Thanks for reading, and I have respect for all of you going trough this!


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

Hey man,

Sucks what you are going through, we are all going through it too, you need to try and get your anxiety down, go for a walk, take your mind of things, it will get better, you'll make it worse if you are on red alert all the time, you don't have schizophrenia but you do have anxiety telling you these things. NUMBER 1 and the only number that you HAVE TO listen to. NO MORE DRUGS or believe me this HPPD stuff could become things moving around everywhere, things melting, just have a google and read how bad it is for people.

Bad news is, yep sounds like you have DR and DP with some slight HPPD to go with based on the visual snow and stuff.

Not to promote my own thread but it's the only thing I know and Lamotrigine that cures what you have, if you want to go down the med route.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/64290-keppra-findings-has-cured-hppd-and-dp/?hl=keppra

If you have any specific questions, reply and i'll be happy to help. Stick in there


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## zinc_wit (Apr 4, 2017)

Thanks for the reply! Thanks for the link to your topic, Ill take a look.
One more question, is it possible for HPPD to worsen even without drug use? Visual snow has been increasing the past couple of days, and was wondering why this was. Thanks!


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## 106473 (Feb 7, 2017)

Yeah man, it certainly can. A lot of people talk about 3 month mark until it settles, some even 6 months, hopefully you will reach base level soon. I feel for you, although Visual snow is one of the few HPPD symptoms I know can get better without drugs, I defiantly don't believe it's a for life thing. I've had in light before and I don't have it anymore, but my HPPD side of things was very minor so I'm not much to go off.

My thread talks about the best approach that has had trials and worked. Not read ANY other stories (bar clonazepam) that helps it and clonazepam only works temporarily.


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## Manic D (Jun 29, 2005)

Hey brother, sounds like you have a lot of the same symptoms I (and a lot of others here) have. First things first: you're not brain damaged and you're not losing your mind. Try to internalize those facts, it may help rein in your anxiety somewhat.

I suffer from OCD/anxiety/DP/DR/many visual oddities. It may help to understand blue field entoptic phenomena, how it works, and how that is a "normal" thing as well as floaters in your vision and how that is also "normal." Look here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_field_entoptic_phenomenon

I experience heavy blue field entoptic phenomena, so much so that looking at the sky just looks like a swimming sea of little white amoeba. But this is not a hallucination, as you may think it is, it's actually white blood cells moving through the veins in your eye. It is annoying but it is biological and not psychological. Visual snow is a stickier problem. There is as yet not a good explanation for it, but I experience it also. I find that it is best not to focus on it, as it will worsen your anxiety, and in turn make the snow seem worse.

Try to relax. My advice would be to get into therapy, look into medication to treat anxiety and focus on your problems (perhaps caused by obsessive thinking), try to eat better, and exercise. Eventually you can conquer these sensations and recover.

Take care brother!


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## Photogenic_Potato (Mar 16, 2016)

definite HPPD there man. ive got some severe HPPD and have for a while so if you ever wanna talk about that im here.


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