# Everything I'm afraid of



## York (Feb 26, 2008)

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## jd99034 (Dec 2, 2008)

I can sympathize, as I'm in the same boat as you.

One thing that has helped me the most is talk therapy with someone who really understands, and is not a psychiatrist. Talking about this really does help. Therapy, is theraputic. Ironic eh?

You can learn ways to stop this negative thinking, that is more realated to OCD than it is DP. I do the same thing. The 'what ifs' run through my brain all the time, and I'm always worrying that I'm gonna have a bad DP episode again, its such a vicious cycle.

Since the day my son was born I've had a horrible fear of something horrible happening to him. It is a negative obsessive thought that I seem not to be able to control. I was always scared he would die in his sleep, even though the odds of that happening are slim to nil.

Once you do some research into OCD negative thoughts, you'll find the fear of harm to your children is VERY common. You can beat this or at least make it manageable with thought training techniques.

Therapy has helped me so much, that after a few sessions, I don't think I need it anymore, so I stop going until it hits me again, usually a year or so later. I'm going to try to keep up with it this time.

I've been so bad at times that I thought I would end it, but I always seem to come out of it. You will too.

Although this guy is douchebag, who I believe is a con-artist, this video explains a lot about thoughts and what I'm talking about, and is accurate. http://www.youtube.com/user/CharlesLinden#p/search/5/k1SkCEBF7Oc


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2011)

LOLOLOL that must suck. afraid to shower?! LMAO


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## Tommyboy (Jul 20, 2011)

Wow I thought everyone with DP were sensitive and had compassion but I guess rodo's comment is the exception









Like JD99034 said it sounds like you're dealing with some OCD thoughts that are causing you the anxiety. I have pretty much the same worries as you and have overcome some of them through therapy and CBT. OCD is a tricky son of a bitch in that you begin to question and doubt everything but its just you're mind playing tricks on you and the fears you have will never come into fruition. I've found with OCD the more you try and stop or push the thoughts away the more they come back so like DP it comes down to acceptance of the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings until they no longer have a hold of you. Easier said than done though!Hope you feel better soon


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

rodo said:


> LOLOLOL that must suck. afraid to shower?! LMAO


People's suffering is funny to you?


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## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

So sorry you feel like this york. I can totally relate. Thinking of you xxx


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## Guest (Oct 8, 2011)

York said:


> Hi guys.
> 
> I'm freaking out, I have so much fear. My thoughts are racing and it's making me try and stay in control by repeating my name and address in my mind over and over.
> Every time something I don't like thinking about pops up I do this, and I "stop" thoughts in their tracks. It works, only I now do it automatically with _all _ my thoughts, creating an unbearable mess.
> ...










i can understand what you are going through. I've been through that state of being afraid of everything. I believe it comes with being very ungrounded. It feels like one bad drug trip.. just being afraid of normal things that you know deep inside you shouldnt be afraid of. I experienced psychosis a few times.. right before being very paranoid.. and it made me feel afraid of my thoughts to the point where i couldnt think and felt completely mentally ill. It always goes away tho.

Ive had dp just like you... just fear of that immense Void.. fear of it overtaking me and me just getting swallowed up into it.. as the thought creeps over me.. i try to slowly get myself out of it. Though through practicing meditation i have learned to reconnect myself to my whole self through that void as weird as that may sound. Its an immense stillness that i believe the ego fears most. I havent beat dp or anything like that.. i have just surrendered to it so many times.. maybe also because ive had no other choice but to surrender since ive had it for so long.

Ive also been like you.. a victim of my mind. Feeling that my mind is more powerful than I and that it can easily just turn on me.. i have gone through years of this torment. And Dp was always the end result of this. Everyday slowly though i have managed to control it more or less by letting it be rather than me fearing it. Meditation again and just faith in my deepest self have helped me to not feel me against me... or mind against me.

and i def agree with others here that you are having obsessive thoughts. I have them as well. Worry seems to just take on a life of it own if you allow it to overtake you. I can see though that the things you are worried about most stem from experiences you have had losing loved ones.The "death" process and letting go to the natural flow of life and rebirth. I took a course called ' Love , life, and the world'.. at school.. and guess what it was about? ' death and dying' mostly. The teacher made it clear to us at the beginning that death is something that needs to be taught in schools because people always try to avoid it and do not see it as a natural part of life. Taking that course really opened my eyes to understand the death process in such a natural way.. of course the attachments we have to people cant just be ignored but it helped me to live life understanding that it isnt always about 'my loss' if a loved one passed away.. rather i should see it as 'their gain.'.. their freedom.. and their natural process in their souls evolution.

I always loved that writing by Gibran that goes ...

'Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable'.

Death is not an easy thing to accept but something that has always helped me understand it is to just observe nature and how the cycles of renewal in seasons, animals, plants, crops are a constant state of death and rebirth.

I can imagine how you feel about your children... which most parents are.. i feel you being more sensitive may just make you worry more about them obsessively.. i really liked reading Jd's advice to you.. as i dont have children so i cannot relate.. but i can imagine that the one is probably the thought you worry about most.

I wish you peace my friend..


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