# You may not have depersonalization



## Don_Esporian (Aug 14, 2006)

A few years back, I wrote on this page saying that I had depersonalization. The symptoms matched (detached, feeling as though in a dream). Well, maybe I did, but it was just a symptom. The real problem (which is not as bad a depersonalization and is easier to recover from) is that I had an emotional blockage. I went to go see one of the best therapists in the city, and easily diagnosed me as Obsessive Compulsive. This nature led me to dissociate, which in psychoanalytic terms means to separate emotions from intellect. Therefor, I started to analyze everything without an emotional factor. It's like if you watch a basketball game, taking away the emotional factor, all you see are 10 guys stupidly running after a ball. To take the emotion out of life makes one not live. 
Now, why did this happen? Because of certain situations that caused me trauma, stress, fear, anger, I started to repress certain thoughts, and not wanting to feel certain things. Now lets say that I didn't want to think of a certain person or concept. Then, not only would o block/repress that concept, but everything that leads to it. So I came to a scenario where I would be in blank most of the time and not feeling part of reality because I rationalized emotions. Like I said I had the symptoms of depersonalization but one must know that the two conditions are different, one develpos depersonalization from harder trauma or experiences and is much harder to get out of. So, the point is that you may not have depersonalization, you may have an emotional blockage were you refuse to acknowledge your emotions, and refuse to express what you feel, or express yourself when something bothers you. This is very dangerous. And therapists get mistaken all the time. I was diagnosed (and cured) by a therapist who had seen both kind of patients and many other. And you can cure it faster than depersonalization with therapy. Talking about everything that bothered me, things I was embarrassed to talk about, cured me  Also, since I was obsessive, I would start thinking about the fact of my kind being in blank and then this thought process would turn into a vicious circle where the only thing I would think about is that I didn't think about anything, and so on. So besides talking about ones problems, one must stop thinking about ones condition to get back into real life.
I'd like to hear what people think about this, maybe I could help.


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## Luciiz (Oct 15, 2008)

I think you're really on to something. This forum is inherently flawed in the first place. It is assumed that everyone who has this vague depersonalization and/or derealizataion experience all have the exact same mental condition (or atleast that what I thought). But of course there are so many factors to people developing these symptoms. It could be trauma related, physically related, drug related, depression related, anxiety related, OCD related - whatever - and each and every one of us has a different prognosis and outcome. Some peoples DP/DR will be stonger than others. It's just the way it is. There isn't enough research in the field to simply define the depersonalized/derealized state.

But yeah I think the main thing everyone with this disorder should do is deeply analyze what triggered the condition. If there is no apparent reason, get yourself tested - it could be a physical manifestation such as Lymes Disease. See and speak to a therapist who can help rationalize where your DPDR feelings are coming from.


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## Spike13 (Oct 12, 2008)

Reading your post made me realize...I did the same mistake of avoiding certain emotions or toughts. Only in my case it was because I was reading stupid books about positive thinking, that say you are responsible for all the bad stuff happening to you because you don't have "good" toughts/feelings". I dumped all those books, sensing they where doing me no good.

I warn you all there against some unrealistic philosophies that says you must "monitor your thinking", "kill all negative feelings/toughts", and force yourself to think a certain way for fear of triggering bad events! :shock: 
You end up afraid of your own toughts and feelings and it kills your spontaneity.Gosh! I even was afraid of some videogames and music, because they would make me "enjoy evil"...Don't let those new-agey stuff brainwash you, this is REAL evil! :evil:

Self-censorship is awful, and I'm still struggling to be my old self.


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2008)

Luciiz said:


> This forum is inherently flawed in the first place. It is assumed that everyone who has this vague depersonalization and/or derealizataion experience all have the exact same mental condition (or atleast that what I thought). But of course there are so many factors to people developing these symptoms. It could be trauma related, physically related, drug related, depression related, anxiety related, OCD related - whatever - and each and every one of us has a different prognosis and outcome.


I cant see how peoples misunderstanding makes the "forum" itself _inherently flawed_ as you put it....I also think its obvious common knowledge that depersonalisation is caused by many factors....I dont understand someone revealing this like its a new discovery.....its perfectly obvious.

Anyway......Im leaving again lol.


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## cfraz89 (Sep 23, 2008)

Hey dlow_esp,
Would you be able to tell me more about how your therapy worked? Your story strikes a chord with me 
Thanks!
Chris.


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## flowerchild19 (Dec 11, 2008)

Hi dlow_esp ...iread ur post and i concur with what u say about the fact we cant "assume" we have dpersonalization , looking at it from ur angle . and i can appreciate ur angle  However , like u say , we can see depersonalization symptoms in our behaviors . It's okay though . bcs the bottom line (from my little research) is that all of this stuff is due to emotional blockage . If our traumas did take place when our souls were very young and just being shaped , then obviously in order to survive at that time (and remember there was no real concept of time bcs we were kids...one day was like a week,etc.) our child "self" escaped and depending on the magnitude of that trauma , the child "self" may or may not return in good time. I am in my 30's now (year-wise) , however, my body left behind the "girl child" (she was 4 when we left her to grow physically).It's all complex to explain to someone who has never experienced anything like it , u know . But we know now whats going on with us . Praise the Creator for that bcs Im sure alot of us suffered from alienation . Oh,dlow_esp u can be proud of urself bcs it took courage to continue on the path of self-help and seek legitimate answers . Emotional blockage. u hit that one dead on the nail ! Peace !................................flowechild19


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## Sleepwalker (Dec 4, 2008)

dlow_esp, thanks for that personal experience; like Chris it strikes a loud C-Major in my head; but may I ask: for how long did you have Dp? How severe, do you think, it was? 
I've had it for at least 30 yrs-since childhood ( I' now 40+ ) 
as far as I can recall. (I'm just pointlessly assessing my chances).
Still, I'm intrigued by the concepts of your therapist. I, too, am interested in hearing much more about his whole approach.
Would be grateful for that dlow_esp


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