# Re: I hate talking to people.



## Jessesaur (Jul 25, 2009)

It seems that with every "conversation" I have, I just want to get it over with because I can't relate to the person I'm talking with and I am really nervous. I often don't hear most of what they are saying because I am to preoccupied with how uncomfortable I am. I am constantly going out of my way to avoid interacting with others. Anyone relate? This is social anxiety, yes? I think it is fueling my DP.


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2009)

That's how I've been for 6 years. I've always thought I couldn't hear them just because of some disconnect with my body/senses - hearing - seeing - feeling - tasting - smelling - thinking - emotions. But I learned how to fake it. People just have thought I was quiet and depressed. And if they ever questioned me about my behavior I'd give them some ambiguous and really short answer that they A) Couldn't reply to and B) It was so short that they had to move on in the conversation or leave me alone. And because of depersonalization I just shrug it off and keep to myself. What I dislike however is when I feel inside that I have a million and one insightful things to add to a conversation or part some wisdom to someone in need of advice and then there is that problem where - I don't have a voice - and when I go to speak - it's a pseudo voice that says something really surface and shallow.


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

it's because you aren't in the same mentality as that normal run of the mill person that just lives his day to day life without questioning his or her existence and all that other stuff. You go through a lot more mentally throughout the day so ordinary day to day conversations seem trivial.

There lies one of the major problems in dp/dr sufferers communication, there we become prisoners to our own minds


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## DeadSlept (Aug 16, 2009)

backagain said:


> it's because you aren't in the same mentality as that normal run of the mill person that just lives his day to day life without questioning his or her existence and all that other stuff. You go through a lot more mentally throughout the day so ordinary day to day conversations seem trivial.
> 
> There lies one of the major problems in dp/dr sufferers communication, there we become prisoners to our own minds


I agree, all I can do is sit there and stare at them and pretend and agree till they leave. It's hard for people to understand it and usually at the end of a day i had to socialize a lot i'm mentally exhausted. I hate socializing because of that. No matter how hard I try, I really get no progress with it.


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## Shiney (Sep 6, 2009)

I don't like talking to people because it is unfulfilling, what ever making human relationships meaningful does exist in me.
Hell i manufacture emotions in order to make me seem less threatening. That is how I function with DPD, instead of have natural emotions I just push on a nub in my brain and releash some chemicals that would normally be used for the desired emotion naturally. I don't know if it's healthy, but I sure as hell love being able to pump myself with happiness to the point of euphoria will standing at a car crash. I don't do that though, I use it to maintain a healthy balanced neurochemistry.

Seriously, you guys should try it, I learned to alter my emotions after treating my DPD with meditation.


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

Shiney said:


> I don't like talking to people because it is unfulfilling, what ever making human relationships meaningful does exist in me.
> Hell i manufacture emotions in order to make me seem less threatening. That is how I function with DPD, instead of have natural emotions I just push on a nub in my brain and releash some chemicals that would normally be used for the desired emotion naturally. I don't know if it's healthy, but I sure as hell love being able to pump myself with happiness to the point of euphoria will standing at a car crash. I don't do that though, I use it to maintain a healthy balanced neurochemistry.
> 
> Seriously, you guys should try it, I learned to alter my emotions after treating my DPD with meditation.


Woah, cool I do that too! I didn't know anyone else did that. Although I manufacture emotions to better appeal to people and feel more human. People react way better to it and we make better connections through that way. Sometimes it makes me feel pretty bad though because I feel like I'm being a fake...but I guess I still pumped myself up to get to that point so it can't be all artificial. No one ever seems to notice that I'm doing it and that's the only sad part. I think you're right though...it probably does maintain a more healthy balanced neurochemistry that way. Kinda gives off a nice high to know you can be in control of something but kinda let go at the same time. We could be actors/actresses someday  precisely.


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## OZ3 (Jun 1, 2009)

Same thing happens to me. I'll be talking to someone (more like they're talking to me) and I'll just nod and agree until they decide to stop talking.

Lately, being in conversation is really frustrating for me. I don't get much sleep, so I'm irritable either way, but talking to seems to make me just want to....break something, idk.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Jessesaur said:


> It seems that with every "conversation" I have, I just want to get it over with because I can't relate to the person I'm talking with and I am really nervous. I often don't hear most of what they are saying because I am to preoccupied with how uncomfortable I am. I am constantly going out of my way to avoid interacting with others. Anyone relate? This is social anxiety, yes? I think it is fueling my DP.


Funny, that's excatly what I was thinking when I saw your thread. I felt very numb all day and every conversaion I had was full of faking emotions and smiling. It not even related to if I can relate to the person I'm talking with(but I know what you mean too). It can be people I like and relate very much but I don't have the energy nor emtions talking with them. Like now I had a phone call from someone I really like. before anwsering the phone I felt so dead and lack of any excitement but I knew I cant answer the phone like that. So I gained my fake self (that takes a lot of energy) and talked really nicely. The minute I ended the call I was back to my zombie state.


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## Jim (Sep 7, 2009)

I find conversations to be very unsettling. I can hear myself talking and saying the kind of things that I'd usually be saying, cracking jokes etc but I just have no idea where it's all coming from. It's as if I'm not controlling whats coming out of my mouth. I spend whole conversations miles away, trying to work out where all of the words I'm saying are coming from. I never hear what the other person is saying but obviously I must do because I respond to it.


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## Deja_vu_256 (Apr 27, 2009)

Jessesaur said:


> It seems that with every "conversation" I have, I just want to get it over with because I can't relate to the person I'm talking with and I am really nervous. I often don't hear most of what they are saying because I am to preoccupied with how uncomfortable I am. I am constantly going out of my way to avoid interacting with others. Anyone relate? This is social anxiety, yes? I think it is fueling my DP.


i have that too, but i've come to terms with simply not saying much, and i don't have that much anxiety - i just don't talk about things i don't care about (most things - lol). maybe it is different for you, but i think (or know) that my dp is fueling my anti-social tendencies - it can make us not want to socialize, making it feel awful to try to fake it... even terrible. just come to terms with it for now and try to make it more comfortable to say less... this is how i deal with it anyway...


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