# Going on a date



## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Ok, I'm extermely nervous. I don't see any point dating someone in my current situation but I've been waiting for a long time to feel better- and this time doesn't come. I prefer being with myself. Even when I'm too much time with my friends I can't wait to come back home. I know this date will be full of pretending and lies. But I'm gonna do it anyway. My friend pissed me off today saying I'm not doing anything lately to make myself better so I'm going on a date on Thursday, lol. I talked with the guy on the phone. He sounds nice. I don't know too much about him right now. I just know he was religious in the past like me and now he isn't, and that his last name(in Hebrew)has a meaning of something related to smoking... Weird.

I need your advice. Thanks.


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## Guest (Dec 20, 2010)

EverDream said:


> Ok, I'm extermely nervous. I don't see any point dating someone in my current situation but I've been waiting for a long time to feel better- and this time doesn't come. I prefer being with myself. Even when I'm too much time with my friends I can't wait to come back home. I know this date will be full of pretending and lies. But I'm gonna do it anyway. My friend pissed me off today saying I'm not doing anything lately to make myself better so I'm going on a date on Thursday, lol. I talked with the guy on the phone. He sounds nice. I don't know too much about him right now. I just know he was religious in the past like me and now he isn't, and that his last name(in Hebrew)has a meaning of something related to smoking... Weird.
> 
> I need your advice. Thanks.


Dear Everdream,

I think this is great, no matter how it turns out. When I was in college I avoided dating for all these reasons ... afraid of being judged. Afraid of what the person would think. Afraid that I couldn't keep up.

And ALL of those things can happen, of course, however, I regret NOT being myself. You are who you are, and from the little I know of you, you are sweet and smart and lovely, and all of those things are THERE, not just the DP/DR.

I would hope you could go into the date -- not explaining much of anything re: the DP ... for a first date ... -- but still, just be who you are. Look at your accomplishments, talk about real things in your life, important things. It always amazes me how when I've started to open up with others -- men and women -- they all have their own battles. They may be different, but insecurities. Some have some MAJOR problems, or some have had really tough things happen in their lives ... you could comfort THAT person.

And just remember. This won't be your last date. And this person, whether you feel lousy or not, ... well you might not like him anyway after spending time with him.

I think this is wonderful for you.

Now, LOL that his last name is related to smoking. Hey ask him what's the story with that? That's a good topic of conversation.

I have faith in you.

1. Be yourself
2. Be yourself
3. Be yourself

Have faith in all that is good in you. I feel it through the computer!

Take Care,
I hope you have fun,
D


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

How did you meet him/encounter him? I think it should be ok...it might go somewhere good, who knows. I've been on dates while sick and it was ok...only one went into something more serious-ish, but not bf/gf.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

EverDream said:


> Ok, I'm extermely nervous. I don't see any point dating someone in my current situation but I've been waiting for a long time to feel better- and this time doesn't come. I prefer being with myself. Even when I'm too much time with my friends I can't wait to come back home. I know this date will be full of pretending and lies. But I'm gonna do it anyway. My friend pissed me off today saying I'm not doing anything lately to make myself better so I'm going on a date on Thursday, lol. I talked with the guy on the phone. He sounds nice. I don't know too much about him right now. I just know he was religious in the past like me and now he isn't, and that his last name(in Hebrew)has a meaning of something related to smoking... Weird.
> 
> I need your advice. Thanks.


Hey I am in the same boat. I have avoided dating as well 1. because I prefer to be alone and 2. i get super nervous when in relationships. I just went to the movies last night with a girl who is super cool. We had a good time, it was a bit awkward with DP but whatever. We are going to hang out again tonight. I keep thinking that I would rather be alone but figure it can't hurt to go on a few dates and give it a shot. I try not to get worked up over it because I figure if things don't work out I can go back to being alone. Hope you have fun.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Thank you all.

I'm just scared. I'm not good in those kind of things. I want to get over with it (it's on Thursday). I don't know who I am so it's kinda hard being myself,lol. I didn't plan of course to talk about DP and things like that, but I know I'll have to lie about some things. Like, I didn't go to the army/national service because of my problems. It's a big thing here so I already have a made up lie I tell for some years now to people I have to lie to.

I have friends who always wants to set me up (and other girls too) with a guy. My friend told me that she can see us together. On the other end, she "sees" it all the time for other girls, and everyone she matched till now didn't work, lol.

I like your thinking Kenny. Maybe it will help me too.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I hung out with this girl again last night. She invited me over to her apartment and on her shelf was a medicine bottle next to a bunch of books about anxiety. She saw me looking at them and then started talking to me about how she has to take medicine for anxiety. She kept going on and on about anxiety it was pretty funny because I could relate. We talked about anxiety a lot and I asked her if she had heard of or experienced DP/DR. At first she said she didn't know what it was and then she said, "Oh wait, that's when you feel outside of yourself huh?" lol. I said "yeah" and told her I have experienced that sensation and she thought nothing of it. It was just like we were having a normal conversation about the weather. I couldn't believe it.

How was your date?


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

surfingisfun001 said:


> I hung out with this girl again last night. She invited me over to her apartment and on her shelf was a medicine bottle next to a bunch of books about anxiety. She saw me looking at them and then started talking to me about how she has to take medicine for anxiety. She kept going on and on about anxiety it was pretty funny because I could relate. We talked about anxiety a lot and I asked her if she had heard of or experienced DP/DR. At first she said she didn't know what it was and then she said, "Oh wait, that's when you feel outside of yourself huh?" lol. I said "yeah" and told her I have experienced that sensation and she thought nothing of it. It was just like we were having a normal conversation about the weather. I couldn't believe it.
> 
> How was your date?


Wow, that's cool. I think it will be somewhat easier for you now, won't it? I'm happy for you.

My date is tomorrow.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Cool, let me know how it goes.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Cool, let me know how it goes.


So, I just got back from my date (we met today in the end). I thought it gonna be really bad.... but it was amazing! We had so much fun talking and we got along great. I can't believe it. In the end of the date we even hugged each other and kissed a bit. I really like the guy and I think he really likes me too. We're gonna watch a movie this week. The problem is that he still doesn't know anything about my problems and I don't know how he will react to it. It's not an easy situation. At least, I'm happy it went well.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

EverDream said:


> So, I just got back from my date (we met today in the end). I thought it gonna be really bad.... but it was amazing! We had so much fun talking and we got along great. I can't believe it. In the end of the date we even hugged each other and kissed a bit. I really like the guy and I think he really likes me too. We're gonna watch a movie this week. The problem is that he still doesn't know anything about my problems and I don't know how he will react to it. It's not an easy situation. At least, I'm happy it went well.


That's awesome. I'm really glad you had a good time.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

surfingisfun001 said:


> That's awesome. I'm really glad you had a good time.


Thanks. I have so many mood swings lately. Yesterday I was super depressed and cut myself. Today I woke up much better. I have to stop with the cutting, espeically now with this guy. That's not good, lol. By the way, I took Klonopin before the date ( I take it before anything that make me nervous) and it helped a lot.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

EverDream said:


> Thanks. I have so many mood swings lately. Yesterday I was super depressed and cut myself. Today I woke up much better. I have to stop with the cutting, espeically now with this guy. That's not good, lol. By the way, I took Klonopin before the date ( I take it before anything that make me nervous) and it helped a lot.


Yea I seem to fluctuate between states of mind a lot. One minute I will feel somewhat calm and the next minute I will get super angry and aggravated. It's super frustrating in regards to relationships. I was never really a cutter more of a drug user. For whatever reason self destruction appeals to me too. Weird. My memory is so horrible. The girl I went on a date with is in another state for the holidays. I didn't even remember until I re-read this thread. Sometimes I think if I get married in this state would I forget I have a wife? I forget everything. It's like nothing exists in my mind except nothingness. WTF.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Yea I seem to fluctuate between states of mind a lot. One minute I will feel somewhat calm and the next minute I will get super angry and aggravated. It's super frustrating in regards to relationships. I was never really a cutter more of a drug user. For whatever reason self destruction appeals to me too. Weird. My memory is so horrible. The girl I went on a date with is in another state for the holidays. I didn't even remember until I re-read this thread. Sometimes I think if I get married in this state would I forget I have a wife? I forget everything. It's like nothing exists in my mind except nothingness. WTF.


I get you. I have the same problem. I don't remember anything. Like, the guy told me he is doing something today and I just can't remember what it was. And the funny thing is that I do remember that he talked about it for some time, lol. Too much fog in my brain...


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

EverDream said:


> I get you. I have the same problem. I don't remember anything. Like, the guy told me he is doing something today and I just can't remember what it was. And the funny thing is that I do remember that he talked about it for some time, lol. Too much fog in my brain...


Definitely too much fog in the brain


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Definitely too much fog in the brain


Ok, there it goes again. I'm feeling so depressed. I just hate myself. Why everything is so hard for me? Why am I so complicated? I feel like dying right now.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

EverDream said:


> Ok, there it goes again. I'm feeling so depressed. I just hate myself. Why everything is so hard for me? Why am I so complicated? I feel like dying right now.


You and me both


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Hey Kenny, listen to this. Me and the guy got even closer in our very short time tougther. I felt like I'm hiding too much of him so I told him I suffer from depression for 5 years and take pills for it. I didn't tell him more than that, I think that's enough for now,lol. He told me that it doesn't change anything and we can help each other out. I asked him how I can help him ( because he is a really healty normal guy) and he told me "just be yourself. That's what makes me happy." That's the sweetest thing I've ever heared.

And Dreamer, you were right till now. But I still fear from the worst, haha.


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