# Am i a narcissist?



## Guest (May 5, 2014)

I have been looking at alot of the symptoms of narcissm and i have alot of the traits. There was only one point in my life where i was able to distinguish what true self esteem was. How actions = who you are . That was the only time i realized that i wasnt the special one in this earth. For the remainder i've always felt empty. I've always understand the concept of things but i always complain how i dont feel it

When i was young i would always tell the teacher what she wanted to hear. When asked out of all my brothers why i never did a particular thing i told the elder that i didnt have to do it. I have always had this special mentalility. I have suffered from anxiety and depression but ever since taking a CBD supplement which had weed in it i changed. My anxiety dimished tho the same fucked up thinking is there. I have always been dramatic and can never be intimate with someone. I have always felt empty. I am manipulative and never receptive to others. I tried everythiing earlier to go to therapy. I frigen called like 5 doctors on my own. From 15-17 i contacted a mental health place by myself to see if they could help me but my mom threatned to sue them if they helped me. I think my mom prolly was a victim heself of N abuse. I dont know all i know is im way more distorted than them. And now it's gotten to a point where i think im more intelligant than anyone. Idk . Maybe once i go back to school and to feel that anxiety i have no idea. But its different now .

I have thought i have borderline to schizotypal but i really think i have narcissm . I am a bully my siblings have told me that in my own house. I am 18. I havent been in school for a while. And i have this denial . Its why i wanna see if i could move away if it would help me. My family in reality is trying everything they can to keep me here. My siblings say that would of kicked me out. I am pretty distorted.

Id like to hear Fearless or anyone elses opinion. I can say things and be like WTF is going on but im in such a rut ( this sentence is false as itself because atm im so comfortable). Do not be fooled by my words

wtf tho


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## Guest (May 5, 2014)

Harris Harrington said narcissistic abuse is a factor of DP, Fearless just emphasized it in his blog thus causing the obsession on this site. He didn't say ANYTHING about being one.

My dad is a narcissist. It doesn't make me hate him, but nowadays I can see right through the guilt trips and the larger-than-life false self


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## Guest (May 5, 2014)

I'm not the same person over the past 2 years before i was overly sensitive but now I literlaly refuse to listen to any. And more so idc about the input of others thats the truth maybe i want the appriprate response that i want to hear that i know will come out of this even tho i know it wouldnt matter cause i dont feel shit. before i would want opinions but now its like blank. when i say idk wtf is going on- my minds blank and i have no feelings.


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## Guest (May 5, 2014)

do you have any advice on how to get rid of this trait? maybe something to lower my ego? travel to a 3rd world country? I know in reality it sounds retarded but im not in it. Im invested in my own head


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## Guest (May 5, 2014)

You're not a narcissist. You're too self-aware and self-blaming... hmm almost like a person w/ DP! A narcissist would NEVER take responsibility or try to change.


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## Guest (May 5, 2014)

Idk if its self aware its that I know what I am already am and want to hear u guys fight for my attention?

when I say thank or you welcome it doesnt even mean anything. MAYBE im having a feeling and just thinking of it diff.

thank you fir your input guys(thats not even genuine)
anywaya nuff said. Selig thanks man

Ill prolly still think about it constantly but thank u everyone.

I will take ur advice on the ocd part


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## *Dreamer* (Feb 18, 2014)

I agree with Selig and I don't know you. I see you overanalyzing something as I did. I just posted a goal about one obsessive behavior I have. A ritual of sorts.
And it's true, we have the mysterious diagnostic triad here on the board "Solipsism, Narcissism, and Schizophrenia."
*FACEPALM * -- we don't need to be obsessing over those things.

I have said before. People here hate labels, yet label not only themselves but their parents.

My lesson on dealing with my past.
1. Examine what my parents did -- bad and good and understand what was normal and not normal

2. Examine my reactions to them -- that I am the sane person in the family

3. Work from there to approach negative conditioning -- patterns of behavior I developed over decades, and am now trying to decrease ... I didn't even say eliminate these behaviors.The goal is to manage these behaviors, with the hopes of making them happen less and less in my lifetime and take up less room in my skull.

The rattling mind is very common here. And I'm not going to even say it is OCD. It is simply the "negative voice in your head" and overanalysis. It doesn't need a name per se. Simply acknowledge the behavior, see how it hurts you, work on changing it.


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## Guest (May 6, 2014)

I am losing myself every moment as we speak. I have become so external that its fucked up. Its like my thinking or the voice is one thing but then my body is experiencing something worse which i think is good but in reality im turning fucking narcissitc and crazy. I am so self absorbed even in the way i talk. I don't know wtf is going on with me right now. Im so numbed out right now. I dont feel anything internal.

i cant emathize with anyone anymore. The more i try to do inner work as my voice wants to do it the more i fuck it up and when i dont i feel fucked up. I am so external i cant think of other people. My body is mixing up what it thinks to be being anxitey free with actually becoming more narcissitc and fucked up. Wtf is going on


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Hey yass

I totally get u!! I feel the same way because I feel no inside at all it makes me feel very cold and narcissistic and I just don't give a shit about the ppl around me anymore I've been feeling this way for a long time now and it only seems to get worse.

I just don't know where I have gone and as the time goes on it gets worse and worse


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## Guest (May 7, 2014)

Can't be narcissim. Has to be fucking DP


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Well being cut off from ur emotions and senses sure makes u feel narcissistic don't u think ?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Yes but I don't see the difference because I sure do feel like some sort of psychopath with dp


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## Guest (May 7, 2014)

SolomonOrlando said:


> This is emotional detachment, nothing related to psychopathy. Here's something that might interest you:
> 
> Far too many people believe that, if you suddenly lack emotion, you're a psychopath, but that's simply not true. Stop trying to diagnose yourself and each-other with outlandish disorders and attributes that you know aren't even close to what you have. If you're having trouble with your emotions, seek counseling/therapy - that's what they're there for.


Totally! Not only that, but we do things to numb ourselves as well.

For a long time with DR I felt the same exact emotions I did when I was recovered. My feelings didn't go numb until I stopped taking care of myself and started looking at porn/drinking and using the internet 24/7


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

SolomonOrlando said:


> This is emotional detachment, nothing related to psychopathy. Here's something that might interest you:
> 
> Far too many people believe that, if you suddenly lack emotion, you're a psychopath, but that's simply not true. Stop trying to diagnose yourself and each-other with outlandish disorders and attributes that you know aren't even close to what you have. If you're having trouble with your emotions, seek counseling/therapy - that's what they're there for.


No one is trying to diagnose anything it's just a feeling.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Yeh understandable but don't u think it's awfull that u can feel that way?


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## Guest (May 13, 2014)

edit double post


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## Guest (May 13, 2014)

Selig said:


> Jesus, this narcissism shit is getting ridiculous.
> 
> Yama, I've spoke to you personally for two years. You don't act like a narcissist, and neither does your family. What is this new, weird obsession with narcissism? Is masochism up on next weeks docket?
> 
> A person who was truly narcissistic would not feel the need to ask others for their input on it. And focusing on an oddly specific personality trait is most likely not going to be the answer you are looking for. It's more complicated than that.





Selig said:


> Agreed to the first two, but this newfound obsession with narcissism is just confusing. Everybody is self centred and out for themselves to a degree; it's human nature and people are flawed. These questions are like saying 'I've beat people up before in fights, am I actually a serial killer?


i just realized that i think now im completely a narcissit. Before when i made this post i was worrying alot not i have read so much i have completely feel the need to not change. It's so comfortabel i cant think out of this. This is scary. I feel so light and so blank. I feel the need to change nothing and im not even in reality anymore. yestarday before going to the gym i realized that i was the fault of everyting and my parents are just trying to help me while i am fucking everything up. I SHOULD of stuck to that epiphany but now i feel like my b ody and mind have given up and just completey are saying fuck it

I think i have fully gone through. Idk what to do anymore. I cant feel anything now. My mindset was so good before. Now this sucks. I feel so aggressive to other people. i cant think anymore or be introceptive or want to change. This sucks. Without knowing i made myself completely in denial because in reality it was painful to see. Now i cant feel shit. Or a desire to change or i dont think its wrong anything i say to my parents Its like im totally blank.. the shit that can happen in a day. Fucking hell please how do i get back to worrying about being a narc. i am one now.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Yass

I really understand what ur going thru...dp can turn u into that. I got to the point where I can be hostile towards ppl and I just don't give a fuk coz I feel nothing ...I have no desire to do nothing let alone change ?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Most certainly yes...of course u won't rlly be one but once u get used to having no emotion u act in different ways. I have found with myself I don't give a shit about people anymore nor do I care about there feelings. Isn't that the definition of an narcissist ? Dp can make u feel that way I don't care what u say.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Yes but emotional unintelligence isn't what dp is. I could connect very well before I got dp.

I can be a bit vain sometimes about physical appearance and I noticed I focused more on the physical attributes much more after I got dp weirdly enough.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Ok well that's interesting then I guess..


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## Guest (May 15, 2014)

Here's the whole thing about this post. When i made this post i thought i was narcisstic cause i identified with alot of the traits which i still do but that still doesnt mean i am narcissit. Anyway what was really happening was i was doing inner child healing and not even frigen knowing it. I felt such emotions and worry about ego and shit that i literally let my inner child out and used techniques i didnt even know like detaching and obersving myself. I had epiphanies where i realized everything in my mind was not real. Ego was not real. I should of gone through the whole thing but as i said i thought i was becoming narcissitic. If someone would of told me i was healing myself i would of felt through the whole of emotions. Now after that my emotions stopped and i really felt narcisstic cause i couldnt think introsceptively. Now i can a little because i read a blog and it calmed me the fuck done. Thing is my body is emotionally exhausted and i dont know if i can go through it again or go through that length of worry and stuff but it pisses me of because i miss that objective outlook i had. The feelings of being happy when setting a goal zoning in.

Idk how it will happen again but if it does i will go fully through it which i doubt buy hopefully it does. As for now stuck in my mind again.


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## Guest (May 15, 2014)

Thank to selig, solomon, and everyone else though for the reassurance


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