# Socialising problems



## Forfeiture (Jul 14, 2011)

Hey people Hope you're having a nice day or night









I'm new to this forum/website so first i'll introduce myself.
My name is Damien and i live in Australia, I've had DP for around 2 years now and i'm finally coming out of the closet and letting people know what i'm going through and i'm very interested in other peoples experiences.

So the main thing that makes me very upset from DP is the socialising issues.

I just don't seem to understand how i could used to hold up a conversation, meet new people and make friends, now it just seems like i'm being blocked from socialising, I just want to hang my head down when i'm put in a social environment. And i just can't seem to find my place in ANY conversations. and if i even force myself to say something it just doesn't feel right. and i start judging myself. I always wonder if what im saying or acting seems out of place. I'd love to see myself through someone elses eyes just to know how i act. 
Nobody has ever questioned me about the way i act. But in my head i just feel kind of disabled? Hm.

I miss having emotions.

If anyone else has issues with having conversations ETC please reply. I'd love to hear.

Also it would be good to have some friends that are experiencing what i'm feeling. I feel so alone. Life just sucks right now.


----------



## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

As i said.. look around the forum for recovery stories on how to deal..A tip from me is to know that how you percieve yourself when DP'd isnt right at all so dont get any ideas...i think every DP'd person on here has the same symptom its very common. so just try to be in the now and calm yourself down as much as you can.


----------



## baking_pineapple (Apr 27, 2011)

Ya, I'm experiencing the exact same thing. The worst thing for me is that I used to be exceptionally adept at forming and maintaining relationships and just remembering how enriching and fun this made my life makes me sad. I don't know if I'm mentally retarded, brain damaged, or just plain crazy, but whatever it is, it's extremely frustrating and exhausting to constantly feel so out of place. Most the time I think obsessively about what the "normal" me would say in a given situation and then harshly judge what I actually say in comparison to it. Usually i just end up pining for a legitmate way to excuse myself from the situation to avoid me and my interlocutors any further awkwardness.

"I'd love to see myself through someone elses eyes just to know how i act."

I think this is actually the crux of the problem--that is, our inability or resistance to seeing ourselves through another person's eyes. I think most people have internalized the mental "eyes" of the other to the degree that what they're seeing is indistinguishable from what the other is seeing. Jung called this disindividuation and what we're going through, it's opposite, individuation. He claimed that individuation was the way to true personal fulfillment and happiness, but right now, I don't know how this possible since I'm pretty sure happiness is contingent, at least in my experience, on being able to relate and form relationships with other people. All in all, I don't really like what I see using my eyes alone: a barren, emotionless reality, filled with conceptual artifices trying unsuccessfully to fill the empty space.

In sum, conversations are excruciatingly difficult for me too and the no emotions part isn't too fun either.


----------



## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

You're not alone. I can't maintain even a 30 second conversation with someone nowadays. My DP is so bad that I forget what the person is telling me and when it's my turn to respond I blank out completely. I constantly have a blank mind with dp but it's especially bad in conversation so I typically say one of three things "yes" , "I know" or "ok". If you want a conversation to be killed make sure you talk to me because I'm extraordinarily good at it. I can't even carry on a conversation with either one of my parents.


----------



## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

Just know...that it is the way you feel about yourself and the way your brain processes thoughts that make you this way. Dissociation does this im affraid. it makes us children all over again And the more we try to convince others that we're fine the more they are going to tell us to pull the breaks. This is about you and how you percieve yourself. And if you could only know this while socializing it would make you alot more powerfull as a person. Also just trying to get out of your head about it will bring lots of clarity. Even though it takes time to completely be as insightfull as you where in social situations you will eventually get there once your sence of self is strenghtened.


----------

