# Down again...it's been a while



## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

Well, I haven't posted in God knows how long. Reason being, because I've been pretty much DP and depression free for a while. Sure there have been days where I've felt a little down, but no way have I felt the long term (week to two week) DP/Depression stages I had felt in the past. Well, after some back to back weekends of staying up to late and drinking a little too much, I am back down in the dumps. Tired, depressed, negative thinking, no motivation, don't care about much, etc. It sucks, but I know that I will get through it. 
The one thing that makes me feel better is that I pretty much know what causes this to come on and that is lack of sleep and/or messed up sleep schedule and too much alcohol. 
Though I feel better knowing what causes it, it still doesn't make things get any better any faster. I am sooooooooooooo incredibly sleepy right now. I can just feel my brain chemicals going crazy and being so messed up. My eyelids feel like they weigh a hundred pounds and are constantly trying to come crashing down over my eyes. When I nod off at work, I have really quick dream-like visions. :shock: 
Again, I know this is all caused by alcohol and lack of sleep, but just wanted to vent.
But also wanted to add, I have been feeling consistenly better for the past 2 months or so. So there is hope, but there are always gonna be bumps in the road! :lol: Take care,

Kelson


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2004)

Yo Kelson, that sucks that your feeling down. My question is though, if you know Alcohol causes you to feel this way, why drink? Is it really worth it? I know alcohol is a big stress reliever for most people, but for us, i just don't think its the healthiest thing to do. Man i wish i could fuckin smoke & drink my brains out, i miss those days, but i can't because if i do i will feel 10 times worse than i do right now, which is what i don't want to happen. Im never ever touching a blunt or a bit of weed ever again and i doubt that i will ever drink. Theres nothing wrong with being sober, tons of people don't drink & smoke.

But hey at least you have times of clarity & times when you feel good. I wish i had some of those.

Stay Up & holla at me on IM later

Peace

oh & btw, are u gettin the Jim Jones or the Ice City albums today?


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

I just wanted to resurrect on old post of mine. It's sad how you look back at a post from two years ago and realize now how much worse you are now. Sad.

Kelson


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