# Recovering from DP...but now depression



## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

Hi All...

I have found relief from almost all of my DP symptoms (feel much more in touch with myself and reality), but find I am now struggling with depressive episodes that seem to come and go. Some days I'm fine and then I'll have a really low day (accompanied by panic attacks).

I don't really feel that I fit the symptoms of bipolar as I don't have the manic highs etc but these depressive lows are concerning me. 
Has anyone else who is in the recovery stages found that they suffer from increased depressive moods? I guess I was hoping I would feel on top of the world when the DP dissapeared so maybe I am expecting too much too soon???

Another issue I have is that my thought patterns seem to switch between the me before DP and the me since DP...have any other recoverees found this??? Did your thought processes go back to "normal" (ie prior DP thoughts) or have you just had to find a way to adjust to your new perspective on life?

I used to be so sure of things!!!


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## Xu (May 6, 2006)

Bipolar, depression, etc... they're just labels of your moods. You feel how you feel.

...Sorry, I can't stop having that thought while reading these forums.


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

You've been denying your feelings and pretending like they don't exist for so long. Now you are reconnecting to yourself and to the world. That means you are realising that these feelings you've been locking away really do exist.

Now you have to face them and deal with them. There really are painful memories that you've been forcing down in order to pretend they don't exist. Now they are resurfacing in your every day life and your reflex reaction is to force them down again (i.e. become depressed - pressing your emotions down and not feeling them).

Its ok, you're doing fine  Give yourself some time to come to terms with it and gradually start working through them.


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## gnarlsbarkley (Jun 28, 2006)

i know exactly what you mean, i think that dp is a sort of defence mechanism for depression because i remember before i had dp i was really depressed then smoke weed at i got dp so i think theres a strong link.
i have found it useful to use mindfulness techniques which means you are concentrating on the present moment without making any judgments about if. I've found that quite useful but you can only keep it up for a few while before your thoughts distract you again.


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## Martinique (Sep 6, 2006)

I think depression is the natural flip side of dp. DP is a heightened experience of the world, a profound sense of alienation from the nonsense that passes for meaning. We can see a higher reality. When the dp feelings subside, you may feel good at first, but then there is the letdown, the realization that there isn't really anything to feel good about. You have now consigned yourself to the everyday world, where basketball and barbecues and job fulfillment are supposed to make our lives worth living. Now you have to really find what makes your life worth living.

Oh, and don't dismiss bipolar because you don't have classic manic episodes, there is dysphoric mania/hypomania too. Depression, agitation, irritibility, anger, crying jags, these are all signs of bipolar II. Just food for thought.


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

Yes Martinique...I am inclined to agree with you on about depression being the flip side to dp. I can really relate to what you've said...it's about finding that balance again somewhere between the two I guess.

Also, after reading up a little more on hypomania etc I believe this relates to me very well. I can think of many episodes I have had over the years that sound very similar to the descriptions of hypomania. If I do in fact have this though, I feel now that it is quite mild and that I am capable of dealing with these episodes without meds or even a diagnosis. They are fairly rare periods and I am able to outwardly control how I feel (around others) even if inside I feel differently and know that my feelings are irrational. My episodes appear to be quite cyclical and luckily do not last for very long periods. Who knows. Thanks for you comments.


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## kioreija (Sep 16, 2006)

I've had the exact same problem. While my DP seems to have cleared up a fair bit, I have really bad mood swings, one day I will be incredibly depressed and feeling ike killing myself and the next day i will be fine. Yeah.. I was thinkng that maybe I could be bi-polar aswell, but when I felt fine, it wasn't mania or anything, I was just content with the world at the time.


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2007)

The other day, a wave of depression overwhelmed me. and i immediately fell into a cycle of dp. in my case, i think depression precedes and brings on the dp, for whatever reason. as soon as the depression came, it just made me so sad and dark and then the analyzing kicked in. this happened yesterday, and im still not bouncing back from it. Im so trapped in my feelings, stuck. i dont know what this means. but i cant focus, it knocked me off and trapped me into some painful strange stuck state. which i remain stuck in.


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## Thijs (Feb 25, 2008)

I have the same feeling. DP symptoms have almost all gone away. Just a couple of hours a day I feel a bit weird but I don't sweat it and I handle it very well. Keep my feet on the ground. The only problem now is that of which you speak.. the depressed feeling... but I wouldn't call it depressed, it's more.. emotionless... not happy nor sad. I can't explain it.. but I think it's what most of you are experiencing


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