# i feel like i'm losing myself



## dazen (Jan 4, 2012)

as of today's date.....i have been dealing with this for 4 1/2 weeks. The first weekend in december i had my second anxiety attack. unfortunately we are still unaware of what my triggers are. i've sought out doctors who are quick to say i have anxiety. blood tests and EKG were normal. i have loving boyfriend who tells me every day that i will get better and things will be back to normal before i know it....but i feel like i'm losing myself. nothing feels real anymore. i feel like i'm a walking zombie. a part of me wonders if maybe i died weeks ago and i haven't realized it yet. or maybe i'm just dieing in general. it's too foggy to understand. but thankfully i found this site and i'm hoping it will help be get back to me again.

from the moment i wake up, to the moment i fall asleep....i have dizziness, disorientation, minor head pressure, numbness all over my body and face, stiff neck, and dp (or what i believe to be dp) ....everything feels non existent like i'm not really here but just watching myself go through the motions. even now as i text my boyfriend and tell him i love him, i see my fingers hitting the right keys but it's like i have no sensation there. every so often my head spins and i feel like my eyes are just going to toss out of my body....i could cry all the time, i do ( for the most part) ...i am having such a hard time dealing with all of this...i went to the ER the other day when my body and face went numb. they said they couldn't treat it ( without even running tests to see what it could be) and put me on anti vert for my dizziness, which isn't exactly helping.....i made an appointment with my GP and a psychologist for these next two weeks...

what breaks my heart even more is the stress i'm putting on my boyfriend. the love of my life. spends all day at work and has to come home to take care of me...make me food...keep me sane.....im crying now even just thinking about it.

i want to be normal again...i want to go walk through the park and eat a fish fry on a friday night. I wanna be able to go grocery shopping or even make a delicious dinner. i feel hopeless ....

please help....


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

describe your head pressure more? that sounds maybe more medical then dp......

have you tried meds for the anxiety, coping skills? if it came out of no where it's likely that it could be the kind that does go away, or is related to anxiety and should be a little more manageable


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## dazen (Jan 4, 2012)

kate_edwin said:


> describe your head pressure more? that sounds maybe more medical then dp......
> 
> have you tried meds for the anxiety, coping skills? if it came out of no where it's likely that it could be the kind that does go away, or is related to anxiety and should be a little more manageable


my head pressure is at the base of my head..by my neck....but it's hard to tell since this numbness kicked in....everything kind of has a strange " fallen asleep" feeling....

since i'm new to this and the anxiety attack that triggered this was only my second ever..i have not gotten on meds yet. i have my first psychologist appointment next week.....as far as coping skills..i try my best to keep busy...but when we try to leave to house, even to go to the ER the other day....i got so dizzy i thought i was going to fall over..i certainly never had any of this before my anxiety attack in the beginning of dec. we do get worried that it ( my overwhelming dizziness, numbness...) may be tied to something else..such as an inner ear infection or a pinched nerve. i brought this up in the ER the other day and they passed it off immediately as anxiety...i have another GP appointment tomorrow and i'm going to address my concerns and see what they say. i'm hoping it goes away or is at least manageable..because there is no way i can go on like this....day to day..being a zombie in a spinning world...that's no way to live. i need to get better and i have the want..i just don't have the how...


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

I also always feel dizzy, somewhat disoriented, head pressure, stiffness in my shoulders and neck. This seems to be a common thing with anxiety and maybe DP. I've got blood work done twice now and everythings all good.


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## dazen (Jan 4, 2012)

Jayd said:


> I also always feel dizzy, somewhat disoriented, head pressure, stiffness in my shoulders and neck. This seems to be a common thing with anxiety and maybe DP. I've got blood work done twice now and everythings all good.


i have read up and head pressure and stiffness are signs of stress and anxiety, so i'm not too worried about mine. but as i said, my GP appointment is tomorrow and i'm going to address everything and i'm not leaving without a straight answer...i can't keep hearing " it's just your anxiety" i need them to prove that there's nothing wrong with me, i don't care if i need an MRI or more blood work... when i went to the ER the other day and i explained about my dizziness and vertigo feeling and such...they doctor made me stand up and raise a foot with my eyes closed..and apparently that was the test to make sure it wasn't an inner ear infection?!?!?! WTH?? i don't want to sound like i have hypochondria , but i'd at least like proof other than the good doctors word.....


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