# The Struggle with God



## Mlags45 (Apr 30, 2010)

I have very strong feelings that everyone's experience of depersonalization is rooted in God. The constant over-analyzing of life, trying to find "the answer", but being left in the same place. It seems as though life has become absurd, or that it always was and now I have finally discovered it. How could it be that there is this infinite universe with no explanation of its existence...and here we are? If the universe is meaningless, so am I. Once this is realized, one becomes disillusioned of God and everything spiritual in life. Emotions seem to fade away and desires become extinguished. The relationship one has with the Divine is shattered and one is left with feelings of overwhelming isolation and despair. The worst part is that when this happens, it feels as though it is the end; a sort of spiritual death.

The French Existentialists, Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus wrote extensively on the absurdity of life. In their Atheistic view, one must face the absurd and find their own subjective meaning. Yet, without God, even that subjective meaning is meaningless in itself. On the other hand, why bother to keep on going if there is no true, ultimate meaning? In the Existentialist perspective, there really is no reason to keep going. What happens to you is your fate and you can either accept it or check out. This is a very pessimistic view and I really don't think anyone wants to or does live like this.

I recommend reading the writings of St. John of the Cross. "The Dark Night of the Soul" expresses his feelings of abandonment and isolation from God.

I think everyone who reads this book will immediately connect and relate to his experiences i.e - (confusion of the mind, loss of memory, loss of identity, isolation, meaninglessness, anhedonia)

Here are some passages from his writings. This is the link http://www.innerexpl...xt/stquotes.htm

Hope this helps.

"The soul that is clouded by the desires is darkened in the understanding and allows neither the sun of natural reason nor that of the supernatural Wisdom of God to shine upon it and illumine it clearly. #2. At the same time, when the soul is darkened in the understanding, it is benumbed also in the will, and the memory becomes dull and disordered in its dire operation. The intellect cannot get the illumination of God's wisdom, the will cannot get the love of God, and the memory cannot get God's image. #4. Darkness and coarseness will always be with a soul until its appetites are extinguished. The appetites are like a cataract on the eye or specks of dust in it; until removed they obstruct vision. #6. The affections and appetites deprive them of a treasure of divine light. #7. Any appetite, even one that is but slightly imperfect, stains and defiles the soul."

"As God sets the soul in this dark night&#8230; He allows it not to find attraction or sweetness in anything whatsoever. #4. God transfers to the spirit the good things and the strength of the senses&#8230; if it is not immediately conscious of spiritual sweetness and delight, but only of aridity and lack of sweetness, the reason for this is the strangeness of the exchange. #6. If those souls to whom this comes to pass knew how to be quiet at this time&#8230; then they would delicately experience this inward refreshment in that ease and freedom from care&#8230; it is like the air which, if one would close one's hand upon it, escapes. #7. In this state of contemplation&#8230; it is God Who is now working in the soul. He binds its interior faculties, and allows it not to cling to the understanding, nor to have delight in the will, nor to reason with the memory. #8. God communicates&#8230; by pure spirit. From this time forward imagination and fancy can find no support in any meditation."

"Spiritual persons suffer great trials from the fear of being lost on the road and that God has abandoned them&#8230; Their soul was taking pleasure in being in that quietness and ease, instead of working with its faculties. #3. Let them trust in God... who will bring them into the clear and pure light of love. This last He will give them by means of that other dark night. #4. The way to conduct themselves is to allow the soul to remain in peace and quietness, although it may seem clear to them that they are doing nothing and are wasting their time&#8230; What they must do is merely to leave the soul free and disencumbered and at rest from all knowledge and thought&#8230; but contenting themselves with merely a peaceful and loving attentiveness toward God, and in being without anxiety, ability and desire to have experience of Him or to perceive Him. #5. When the soul desires to remain in inward ease and peace, any operation and affection or attention wherein it may then seek to indulge will distract it and disquiet it and make it conscious of aridity and emptiness of sense. #6. By not hindering the operation of infused contemplation that God is bestowing upon it, it can receive this with more powerful abundance, and cause its spirit to be enkindled to burn with the love which this dark and secret contemplation brings with it and sets firmly in the soul. For contemplation is naught else than a secret, peaceful and loving infusion from God which, if it be permitted, enkindles the soul with the spirit of love."

"The Divine assails the human soul in order to renew it and thus to make it Divine&#8230; The soul feels itself to be perishing and melting away. #4. The sensual part is purified in aridity, the faculties are purified in the emptiness of their perceptions and the spirit is purified in thick darkness. #5. The soul itself should be destroyed since these passions and imperfections have become natural to it. #6. One hour of purgation here is more profitable than are many there."

"Until the Lord shall have completely purged it after the manner that He wills, no means or remedy is of any service or profit for the relief of this affliction&#8230; The soul is powerless. #4. Spiritual things in the soul believes that, if trials come to it, that it will never escape from them. And if spiritual blessings come, the soul believes its troubles are now over."

"If the soul sometimes prays it does so with such lack of strength and sweetness that it thinks that God neither hears it nor pays heed to it. Indeed, this is no time for the soul to speak with God - it should rather put its mouth in the dust, and endure its purgation with patience&#8230; It has such distractions and times of such profound forgetfulness of the memory that frequent periods pass by without its knowing what it has been doing or thinking. #2. This unknowing and forgetfulness are caused by the interior recollection wherein this contemplation absorbs the soul."


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## nalata (Aug 25, 2011)

I don't know if everyone's experience of depersonalization is rooted in God, but I can ceartainly say that mine is a lot. The more depersonalized I feel, the less I believe in 'Him'. There are times I have this strong wave of hope and I start believing again, praying and trusting that things will get better. Then, I get sad or numb, and it seems that He doesn't exist anymore. I have always over-analyzed his existence, and now I just try to leave all this questions alone.

Albert Camus is a great writer, 'The Stranger' is probably my favorite book of all. I really enjoyed the passages you posted, although some of them made me kind of confused.

There's an essay by the actress Frances Farmer that really says a lot about how I feel about God sometimes and I feel like sharing here:



> *God Dies, by Frances Farmer*
> 
> "No one ever came to me and said, "You're a fool. There isn't such a thing as God. Somebody's been stuffing you." It wasn't murder. I think God just died of old age. And, when I realized that he wasn't any more, it didn't shock me. It seemed natural and right!
> 
> ...


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

nm.......


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## lil P nut (May 7, 2011)

You know, I think the people who struggle with this and find life meaningless after this are people who believed in God their whole lives and thats all they lived for. There's plenty of pleasure living a life with or without a belief in God. People still enjoy themselves, living as humans, achieving goals, and enjoying the ups and downs a human life has to offer. There's many people who don't believe in God that don't freak out about existence and think oh no what's the point now , no, this comes more from emotional represssion and not being able to express urself in the world. Go seek therapy.


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

Micah319 said:


> You know, I think the people who struggle with this and find life meaningless after this are people who believed in God their whole lives and thats all they lived for. There's plenty of pleasure living a life with or without a belief in God. People still enjoy themselves, living as humans, achieving goals, and enjoying the ups and downs a human life has to offer. There's many people who don't believe in God that don't freak out about existence and think oh no what's the point now , no, this comes more from emotional represssion and not being able to express urself in the world. Go seek therapy.


^ Totally agree. DP has shit all with "God". There doesn't need to be a "meaning" to life. Life is what you make of it.


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## TheStarter (Oct 19, 2010)

Idk everyone, its okay if you believe in a religion, i fully understand why! (I.E: After life, knowing that there is a higher power watching you, going to church to socialize etc).

But i really doubt it if people like us with Depersonalization and Derealization (Who are sensitive to existential thinking/delusions) do need to rely on a 'God'

So far i have had more success following my instinct and my psychiatrist's advice than following a Religion.

Even as an Atheist i hope there is after life, cause that thought comforts me, and i can see why it would comfort anybody else, but i personally think it is one big Delusion/false hope.
Ofcourse, everybody is free to do and believe in what they want, but personally i think you should rather take advice from Doctors and Psychiatrists/Psychologists, instead of putting all your hope in a 'Superior-Power'

(No offense intended, just sharing my opinion)

Greetings,
TheStarter


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## rushdy (Sep 24, 2011)

I think it does have a lot to do with god. Not god as a law maker, but god as a creator. Understanding god and the reason we are here. We exist for a reason. Otherwise, we wouldn't have existed. A simple answer such as " to love and worship god" is not one that will heal DR/DP . We are in such a state of mind for a reason. Why us? Why is it that highly analytical individuals get DP/DR? is it a matter of ego ? or maybe it is that we as individuals with DP/DR have a greater thirst for knowledge, truth, and reality than any other individuals for reasons that we are yet to find out.


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

rushdy said:


> I think it does have a lot to do with god. Not god as a law maker, but god as a creator. Understanding god and the reason we are here. We exist for a reason. Otherwise, we wouldn't have existed. A simple answer such as " to love and worship god" is not one that will heal DR/DP . We are in such a state of mind for a reason. Why us? Why is it that highly analytical individuals get DP/DR? is it a matter of ego ? or maybe it is that we as individuals with DP/DR have a greater thirst for knowledge, truth, and reality than any other individuals for reasons that we are yet to find out.


I honestly don't think we are here or created because of "God". Thats just me though, nothing against you. I was raised with no religion pushed on me, and I got into earth sciences and geology and learned about evolution and at least that has facts about how we became.

Whereas religion is like, "O well you gotta have faith". That doesn't prove anything.

I'm not going to worship and love God, if God made everyone for a reason, and that reason being us with DP.

I have faith in myself, not in "God"


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## Mlags45 (Apr 30, 2010)

Jayd said:


> I honestly don't think we are here or created because of "God". Thats just me though, nothing against you. I was raised with no religion pushed on me, and I got into earth sciences and geology and learned about evolution and at least that has facts about how we became.
> 
> Whereas religion is like, "O well you gotta have faith". That doesn't prove anything.
> 
> ...


No offense taken. Not to get into a philosophical debate, but geology and evolution doesn't explain why we're here. It can explain the processes of life, but it doesn't explain life itself. In the case for God - Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. You can't empirically prove/study something which isn't material. The universe began to exist; meaning something beyond time, space and matter created the universe.

I think it's good to have faith in yourself and that's totally healthy. In my opinion I think someone who has a strong faith in God can ride out difficult times better than someone who doesn't.


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## Mlags45 (Apr 30, 2010)

Micah319 said:


> You know, I think the people who struggle with this and find life meaningless after this are people who believed in God their whole lives and thats all they lived for. There's plenty of pleasure living a life with or without a belief in God. People still enjoy themselves, living as humans, achieving goals, and enjoying the ups and downs a human life has to offer. There's many people who don't believe in God that don't freak out about existence and think oh no what's the point now , no, this comes more from emotional represssion and not being able to express urself in the world. Go seek therapy.


I'm not saying that if you don't believe in God you won't experience pleasure. Not at all. I'm saying if you really think deeply about it, without God there is no meaning to life whatsoever. I don't think many people can perceive themselves and live happily thinking they are random chemicals brought on my random evolutionary mutation. Of course not everyone freaks out about this, but there are some who do, like people who have depersonalization.

So, this post is rather for people who believe in God, but feel separated from him through their experiences with depersonalization. I'm not trying to convert anyone. Those passages about the Dark Knight of Soul really resemble my experiences with depersonalization. i.e feeling as though God has abandoned you.


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## Mlags45 (Apr 30, 2010)

TheStarter said:


> Idk everyone, its okay if you believe in a religion, i fully understand why! (I.E: After life, knowing that there is a higher power watching you, going to church to socialize etc).
> 
> But i really doubt it if people like us with Depersonalization and Derealization (Who are sensitive to existential thinking/delusions) do need to rely on a 'God'
> 
> ...


Whatever helps you out. I disagree with you though about it being a delusion. I recommend you reading some of Carl Jung's work. He was a very famous psychoanalyst who worked alongside Sigmund Freud.





 this is pretty interesting


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

I believe that no matter what we will NEVER know the answers of why we are here, how the earth was exactly created, how life began, how the universe began, what was there before the universe.

I don;t know about you guys but I find it quite frightening but interesting about that kind of stuff.


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## Depersonal Eyes (Oct 10, 2011)

Jayd said:


> I believe that no matter what we will NEVER know the answers of why we are here, how the earth was exactly created, how life began, how the universe began, what was there before the universe.
> 
> I don;t know about you guys but I find it quite frightening but interesting about that kind of stuff.


Ya, scary. I think when we die we'll find out the answers. I'm a Christian, so obviously I turn to the Bible for answers to that stuff. Still doesn't really answer my questions though. Like how was God here "forever" just like....always there, no start or end....didn't even appear or get created, He's just like continual...confusing but my mind's to simple to grasp it. I get where you guys are coming from, I was just raised religiously and those were always my answer.

Yep, I'm depersonalized so of course I feel abandoned by God. Why would He do this to such a young girl with a LIFE ahead of her. Slap me in the face, after I worshipped you. Thanks God. But I still believe. Why? Because I do!

no judgement here though


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

Depersonal Eyes said:


> Ya, scary. I think when we die we'll find out the answers.


I also think the same thing


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## WhereAmIwhoAreWe (Sep 1, 2015)

ive been experiencing myself in a state of dpdr the last year for myself, and it came after i had gone through an existencial crisis. i started to study cbt, religions meditation. allot of what i had studied seem to work well, i started to experience profound spiritual awakenings, one after another, the questions i had to life and death, existance at the time seemed to all become clear. after some time of going into other states, i experienced myself collapse one day, i felt my body and the ground give way right from under me, i passed out and when i awoke i found myself in a place that was completely silent, still. when i looked around i saw god everywhere and my physical body was gone. all i could see was a spiritual body, but even this body wasn't me, and everything and everyone i had ever known, the world itself vanished, but when i awoke all i could see was god around me. i had no concept of myself, but experienced everything around me as myself. there was no longer an i, but light, love beyond ability to describe. i was destroyed, yet complete. i felt like i was home in god, with god, and speaking to god. all the beings around me were not me, yet me at the same time. i had no recollection of my life, my loved ones, but it didn't faze me, because all i knew to exist was god. i had no recollection of history, time, space. it was infinity. after some time being there i felt some kind of energy rip through me, and pull me back into a physical body and world. i remember not wanting to leave, it made no sense as to why i had to come back, i had already made peace with everything, and it makes no sense as to all i had learned about god. im in this physical state, but it doesnt feel real, nor does it feel good. its like past demons have come back to haunt me, along with new ones. i try to live, but idk how. i want to die, but dont want to kill myself. i feel like i am in constant spiritual danger. everything i do, everything i am feels dark. i want to live but do not know how. i want to be able to feel like i may be able to be spiritual, but i feel shut out from god, or even the world. i can't tell if im in the world again or hell. everything of myself and others feels so off. it feels like my soul has been destroyed. bodily sensation is so awkward, and i experience cravings for sex, food so much, but nothing feels good. i feel dirty, sick. all i want to do is sleep, die. i feel stuck in a box not knowing what is best for me. i feel like hell has consumed me. i feel so lost in dispair and not able to find a place i fit in or can find rest. sleep doesnt help my mind. i just want to be destroyed, but idk how. my body could be destroyed, but my soul still has to overcome all this darkness, my soul can never be complete till my mind has become clear again. i feel horrible because i wan't to be able to be a light for others in my life, and help others in life, but i feel trapped from be able to be me, because idk who i am, or where i am. it is a very distressing state to be in. i know god exists, god exists in others, but until i can find the god within myself first, i will never be able to see god fully in others. it hurts so bad, cause i know god is there, but i feel like the devil is holding me back from being with it all. not a good feeling to have, not a good state to be in.


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## African_Son (Dec 1, 2015)

Depersonal Eyes said:


> . Like how was God here "forever" just like....always there, no start or end....didn't even appear or get created,


Being christian you were taught to envision God sitting on a throne, in other words you think of him as a person. However, God is greater than that in 2 Chronicles 6:18 "But will God really live on earth among people? Why, even the highest heavens cannot contain you. How much less this Temple I have built!" He is in everything around and not bound by the context time hence making him eternal(past and future). God keeps on evolving and creating new innovation like our current life-form.


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## Bluey (Oct 28, 2015)

"In God we live, move, and have our being".

Our DP experiences are in God. That's the way I look at it.


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2015)

The universe is huge with many, many planets.

It's very grandiose to think that we're so important that God sent his only son to our planet, out of the billions of planets that are out there.

Isn't that all you need to hear to know that The Bible and Christianity is rubbish?

God might exist, but I don't think Christianity, Islam or Judaeism has any of the answers.


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## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

IMO DP/DR is a symptom of being halfway to enlightenment.


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## Ningen (Apr 16, 2015)

Yes, I believe DP has some relation to enlightenment. I think you can learn a lot from DP and DR as it gives you a different perspective on life and the universe and once you recover from it you are a different person. I think people are simply afraid or wary of calling this experience enlightenment because it may be too strong a word for some and others are suffering too much to even consider that their are positives to this subjective experience.


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## Mr confused (Apr 8, 2016)

this is so wrong in so many way
u r lisetning to your mind and when you do that u obey suggestions made by your mind i see this a lot in dp today ur mind say you don't exist tommorow say u r gay next day says reality is a lie and even sometimes make you question if your family is your family
1.there is god but he won't help not because he is evil but because if he changed anything about your dp it's mean you have no free will i mean come on the only one who can heal your damaged self is you if god helped you recover that mean you have no freewill
2.for people that think there is no afterlife i'll ask you a question do you think terrorists and people who kill people that are dear to you or the guy who hurted your feeling or vise versa is going to just die and just rest in peace hell no (meetcha in judjment day baby)
3.why would you care about the universe  it's only because dp u didn't care about it before it didn't you
4.this universe weren't made by itself there is a reason which is the same reason for us
5.many people confused about what are we i'll tell u we are souls that observe and have free will but god made us a body to experience and have a presence and gave us a mind which we use to process things and that suggest things to us
6.some say if there is god there wouldn't be wars or diseases i'll tell you war is the free will of people who wanted to take over territory and the free will of the other people to defend themselves if god involve himself like that then thatb mean we have no will what the meaning of staying alive (am i right)!! .... diseases are caused by you you don't eat well you get sick you staay awake for too long you get sick
7.a lot of people think a god is buddha or jessus or an old man with a beard.... no guys buddha was a wise man does that mean if i gone and educated myself and studied all my life people gonna worship me when i die!!!
and jessus was a prophete he didn't died for you allah raised him to him and will let him get down when the antichrist get out and defeat him + the rules we humans have doesn't apply to god he didn't give birth he didn't marry he doesn't have a body he can do anything he want he wasn't born andd he won't die those ruless that apply
ifjust to humans if not we coudve just killed him (and to people say jesus is god a guy wouldn't die because people killed him wouldn't he
you think this is impossible think about it this universe and you alone is a miracle that humans wouldn't have done


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## gygjghbj (Sep 26, 2013)

DP has nothing to do with God, but following spirituality is a good path to choose for those who need it.


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## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

Futurebandit said:


> The universe is huge with many, many planets.
> 
> It's very grandiose to think that we're so important that God sent his only son to our planet, out of the billions of planets that are out there.
> 
> ...


Of course they do not.


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## Jojo16 (Sep 1, 2015)

For an individual to inherit even the slightest symptoms of DP wouldn't have happened unless Almighty God who is in control of everything wanted, for reasons we cant know.


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## apoplexy (Jan 4, 2013)

Jojo16 said:


> For an individual to inherit even the slightest symptoms of DP wouldn't have happened unless Almighty God who is in control of everything wanted, for reasons we cant know.


Amen.


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## simonlebon (Apr 13, 2015)

My belief:

Life is God's love story. You are living one big love story. That's the conclusion I reached after much suffering and confusion and fear. He made all the planets and everything so huge and mysterious for His glory, and at the same time for us to see how special we are. Out of all the planets discovered, this is the only one that contains any intelligent life (that we yet know of). I think that is God trying to show us how special we are.

There is also much uncertainty that can scare the heck out us. You are right, there is no physical proof of what happens after we die. He set it up that He wants us to *trust* Him. I would bet that almost everyone with DP has some major trust/control issues. I certainly do and am working through them. DP and my anxiety highlighted it and I've had to work with it. But only with God's grace am I still here. I don't like every page in this love story, but it is a love story. And the biggest part of the story, even greater than the enormity we see in the physical world , is that He stepped down from his throne and came to earth and died for our salvation and that we could have eternal life... despite our rebellion. Just think about accepting that.

Peace & Love to you all!


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## lilly59599 (Feb 13, 2017)

Quite honestly, depersonalization, I'm not sure if i really have it full on, if anything I have it extremely mildly with some anxiety, and just intense feelings that don't make any sense to me. I'm scared to live without a God, I'm scared because I relied on him as a child, I relied on him through depression, loneliness, the beginning portion of my adolescence. When I decided that I was going to even think of the idea of not believing in God it terrified me. I don't know if God is real or not. It doesn't make sense that he would be real. Religion and spirituality in them of themselves, are real. I'm just scared to live without a God, when that was what helped me through eating disorders, and moving, growing up. Sometimes, I think and pray to him, but I don't know if it's actually doing anything. I've never been one to ever address or wallow in my problems. Before, I just went to God, I thought that if I felt anything he could fix it, and that everything tied back to him. I don't want to live unproductively or as hermit, or do anything bad. And I think I can do it, sometimes, I want to tip over the edge of sanity, but somehow, I think I can control myself. It's not the end of the world, I'll be okay, even if something in my mind is telling me otherwise. I'll be alright, you'll all be alright. You blessed people. Sometimes I want to believe in God, even if there's no rationale in my mind, or proof that he exists. I can't bring myself to believe in God, because I'm afraid of what people will think of me if I truly believe in God. Meanwhile, the argument for there not being a God makes a lot of sense to me. I can see an argument for God, yet it really comes down to what I want to believe, what I can accept. Believing in God, scares me, and so does not believing in God. So, I just kind of stare in awe at the world and do things lol.


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## lilly59599 (Feb 13, 2017)

WhereAmIwhoAreWe said:


> ive been experiencing myself in a state of dpdr the last year for myself, and it came after i had gone through an existencial crisis. i started to study cbt, religions meditation. allot of what i had studied seem to work well, i started to experience profound spiritual awakenings, one after another, the questions i had to life and death, existance at the time seemed to all become clear. after some time of going into other states, i experienced myself collapse one day, i felt my body and the ground give way right from under me, i passed out and when i awoke i found myself in a place that was completely silent, still. when i looked around i saw god everywhere and my physical body was gone. all i could see was a spiritual body, but even this body wasn't me, and everything and everyone i had ever known, the world itself vanished, but when i awoke all i could see was god around me. i had no concept of myself, but experienced everything around me as myself. there was no longer an i, but light, love beyond ability to describe. i was destroyed, yet complete. i felt like i was home in god, with god, and speaking to god. all the beings around me were not me, yet me at the same time. i had no recollection of my life, my loved ones, but it didn't faze me, because all i knew to exist was god. i had no recollection of history, time, space. it was infinity. after some time being there i felt some kind of energy rip through me, and pull me back into a physical body and world. i remember not wanting to leave, it made no sense as to why i had to come back, i had already made peace with everything, and it makes no sense as to all i had learned about god. im in this physical state, but it doesnt feel real, nor does it feel good. its like past demons have come back to haunt me, along with new ones. i try to live, but idk how. i want to die, but dont want to kill myself. i feel like i am in constant spiritual danger. everything i do, everything i am feels dark. i want to live but do not know how. i want to be able to feel like i may be able to be spiritual, but i feel shut out from god, or even the world. i can't tell if im in the world again or hell. everything of myself and others feels so off. it feels like my soul has been destroyed. bodily sensation is so awkward, and i experience cravings for sex, food so much, but nothing feels good. i feel dirty, sick. all i want to do is sleep, die. i feel stuck in a box not knowing what is best for me. i feel like hell has consumed me. i feel so lost in dispair and not able to find a place i fit in or can find rest. sleep doesnt help my mind. i just want to be destroyed, but idk how. my body could be destroyed, but my soul still has to overcome all this darkness, my soul can never be complete till my mind has become clear again. i feel horrible because i wan't to be able to be a light for others in my life, and help others in life, but i feel trapped from be able to be me, because idk who i am, or where i am. it is a very distressing state to be in. i know god exists, god exists in others, but until i can find the god within myself first, i will never be able to see god fully in others. it hurts so bad, cause i know god is there, but i feel like the devil is holding me back from being with it all. not a good feeling to have, not a good state to be in.


Try talking to someone, even if its just small talk. I know this sounds wierd, but just relax and do really normal things even if you hate them. Literally just ride your bike, then eat a sandwhich. then go to a movie( careful of the movie you pick). do something, anything really. I get it though. Watch what you are reading, sometimes, it helps to get away from a lot of spiritual things, just for a little bit. I say see if you can find a counselor. And if worst comes to worse, pray and ask God how you can get out of this, how you can move on, whether that be to the next life, or what not, you can do so much, you're beautiful, don't be decieved, you will be okay i love you.


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## yoloking123 (Jul 6, 2016)

Psalm 100:3
Know ye that the Lord he is God: It is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves...


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