# Talk therapy makes it worse?



## Tepsu (Oct 25, 2007)

I have been in therapy over 10 years all together. So lots of experience of it and different kind of therapists. Currently dont have talk therapy. Started to think if it ever helped me and even: is it possible that it made my dp worse? I think it is possible tho not sure. Thinking back those sessions now, i only remember being extremely anxious and just trying to cope the 45min sitting in that chair. The therapy session always made me focus more on how i feel (and of course it made the dp worse) and i often found it hard to talk because my own voice sounded so strange. It was really unpleasant mostly. I felt somehow "stupid" and often wondered "what the f**k am i doing here".

Just interested to hear if anyone else has similar experiences.


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## drmule (Sep 13, 2009)

I've been with the same therapist for 6 years. I don't know how it worked for you, but for me I went to a counseling service who heard me describe my problem (I didn't know it had a name then!) and assigned me to a relevant therapist. Sticking with the same therapist is essential, you learn to relax and get to know them, to trust them. I found it helps with all sorts of things, I get to talk about stuff that's worrying me, stuff from today, stuff from the past, and I actually don't really discuss my DR much any more because that's not the problem, it's the symptom.


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## darkth (Aug 29, 2009)

I stuck to the same therapist for 2 months, he was apparently the best and most experienced in the area. I described the problem to him and stated the DPD disgnosis I sort of got before seeing a therapist, which he was free to contest if he had a better one. He said he knew about it but avoided the subject when I asked questions about his experience on it. He spoke of it in spiritual terms, in other words bullshitted me. Not that I'm a huge skeptic but I expect a minimum of honesty and if he can't help me, he should say so. It only became clearer and clearer that he was manipulating me and giving me the impression that we are making progress when we probably only regressed. Last week, it was obvious I'll never trust him after he kept pretending and pulling the conversation in other directions. I mean if after 2 months he could not even give me tips for my memory loss or my insomnia, and is still talking out of his arse, there's something very wrong. When I asked for a referral for an MRI (Simeon's book recommends it, anyone else had one?) he said he doesn't see a tumour in my aura! :roll:

His attitude made me depersonalize more I think. In the beginning, describing stuff over and over again also affected me adversely.


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

Talk therapy made me feel angry and anxious, which is better than not feeling at all so I still go lol


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## elcapitan (Mar 6, 2009)

I only started experiencing DP for long periods of time when I started five days a week group therapy. It started happening in bursts like in the actual session. But then in January this year it has become near constant. 
I suffered/suffer (don't know which) from social anxiety/phobia. At the start of group therapy, I had to walk out, 'cause I felt so anxious. Then I sort of sat back and withdrew it a daydreamy state. May my DP is a development of that. I used to have panic attacks walking on the high street, I used to feel so anxious about everything. But now, I don't but this is worse because its there almost all the time. I wish it'd f-ing stop.


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Actually, talk therapy brought me more problems than I had before









So I hope to be able to start CBT soon


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## ohwell (Oct 28, 2010)

I don't think it is the talk therapy itself but rather the fact that the focus is placed on you. I believe only for those that the underlying problem of dp is anxiety this could happen. I for one always had problems talking about me, or when the focus was placed on me. Even prior to the depersonalization it made me feel weird and had seconds of dp. I wonder what would be the effect of a therapy involving a beta-blocker like the one used in PTSD, where a dose is given before each therapy session.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2011)

Over the years, the key to me as been "the right fit." I've moved a lot, and have seen a number of different therapists including a psychoanalyst years ago.

The best therapist I ever had is the one I have now. She isn't out to cure me. She understands me. I go to her to address coping with particular difficulties I have. She uses a more DBT approach, Zen approach, though she is an ACSW and I have a supervising resident in psychiatry who takes care of meds monitoring.

I have had some HORRIBLE psychiatrists and other therapists who made me so furious I could say they made me worse -- not the DP, but I would feel so much rage at their stupidity. One guy told me, "You have a serious issue with psychiatrists!" LOL. I wonder if that is an official diagnosis.

I said, "No, just with you."

If you feel uncomfortable with a therapist ... I'd try to find another one if you can.

It is the "right fit." THAT is what I have always found most important. But no therapist made my DP worse.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

I find therapy very helpful. But there are days that I leave depressed. At times it is 'emotional surgery'. The very nature to the 'project' is to deal with/resolve your problems - so you have to think about yourself and your problems. So when there are times you are feeling better or just don't want to deal with it, adjust your appointments further apart.

Most often for me it is trying to understand what 'healthy' people are like and where I miss the mark. It is almost entirely about my asking questions. Have never discussed Freud, Jung, ink blots, ego or id.

It is absolutely VITAL to have a counselor that you like.


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## snow storm (Aug 10, 2010)

'Emotional surgery'









I was in psychoanalytic therapy a couple of years ago and it definetely wasn't the method for me and also the therapist seemed to have his own agenda. I laid on a couch and the therapist sat behind me and this setting left me feeling quite open and vulnerable and alone with my thoughts. I guess this also was the intention...this method is supposed to make you focus more on your self and feel less influenced by the therapist, but I had already delved deep into my own mind and needed something less introspective.

I have had better luck with more gestalt oriented methods though.


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## Ayato (Jul 1, 2006)

Maybe, but I could only make it through a few sessions. My anxiety was really high during the talks, and I could never really say what I wanted to say. I didn't like the fake friendliness that she had either. Honestly I think I'd rather of had a more theoretical type who discussed Jung/freud etc etc instead just feigning intimacy and telling me "it's going to be ok". I guess I prefer talking about my problems in a theoretical or abstract way because it helps me to dissociate from the pain of them.

In any case, all this attempt at therapy accomplished was to reopen old wounds and it left me in a strange sort of mood. Not long after I had a bit of a breakdown which ended in me dropping out of college.


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

My therapist doesn't have a background with DP, but he read some of Simeon & Abugel's book, and we came up with a plan where I track my feelings from hour to hour, and the activities that they're connected to, to kind of see how the dp's components fluctuate. For some reason, I've been having a phenomenally hard time getting myself to actually sit down and do it, and it may just be the part of me that's used to having dp, and reluctant to let it go. It is a really uncomfortable process, for whatever reason, and even that discomfort seems like it gets under the numb, which is a sign that something is working, I think. Which apparently shuts me down


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## ohwell (Oct 28, 2010)

snow storm said:


> 'Emotional surgery'
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The problem on focusing on yourself is that it makes you realise more of the fragmentation and vanishment of the self.


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## Cambella2002 (Nov 25, 2010)

I have been in therapy for two months now. My experience is very similar to most of you. My anxiety can reach as high as a level 10 in session. The symptoms are extremely uncomfortable. However, I do intend to continue therapy. I think exposure is the best way to minimize anxiety.


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## sarahlopez (Mar 5, 2011)

The type of therapy you are talking about is called exposure therapy. This is where "states" the psychologist to your fears and makes you understand that the brain when placing your hands in the toilet, for example, are not seriously ill.

There are two types of exposure therapy, one is modern and helps most people who pass through it. The other is not practiced more as it used to cure people, but leave healthy emotionally.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I think the basic underlying reason that therapy makes dp worse is because you realize that by being in therapy you are trying to root out and face the underlying cause of your dp. You got dp in the first place because your brain didn't want to deal with something and if you are scared in therapy, it means that part of your brain still doesn't want to deal with it.


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Tepsu said:


> I have been in therapy over 10 years all together. So lots of experience of it and different kind of therapists. Currently dont have talk therapy. Started to think if it ever helped me and even: is it possible that it made my dp worse? I think it is possible tho not sure. Thinking back those sessions now, i only remember being extremely anxious and just trying to cope the 45min sitting in that chair. The therapy session always made me focus more on how i feel (and of course it made the dp worse) and i often found it hard to talk because my own voice sounded so strange. It was really unpleasant mostly. I felt somehow "stupid" and often wondered "what the f**k am i doing here".
> 
> Just interested to hear if anyone else has similar experiences.


Did you say, 'I feel like my voice sounds strange and it's making me self-conscious'

'I feel anxious right now'

'I feel like I'm stupid' ?

In my experience, unless you say exactly what you're thinking and feeling in therapy then you're not going to make any progress.

For example, I have a new therapist. I had all these things coming to my mind about her but didn't say them. I left the session feeling unsatisfied. After some contemplation I realised that what I needed to say to her was, 'I feel worried about hurting your feelings. I feel like I want to say exactly what's going on in my head but I am scared to do so.'

Now, the pressure has been released and the cards are on the table. The feelings that are blocking progress are being dealt with.

It's quite an elusive concept and often I manage to lose my grip on it. Even saying, 'I feel like I can't be honest with you' is infinitely more productive than just sitting on your feelings. Of course, if your feelings don't get dealt with and your therapist isn't open to your honesty, then it might be the wake up call you need to find a new therapist.


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

ValleyGirl said:


> I think the basic underlying reason that therapy makes dp worse is because you realize that by being in therapy you are trying to root out and face the underlying cause of your dp. You got dp in the first place because your brain didn't want to deal with something and if you are scared in therapy, it means that part of your brain still doesn't want to deal with it.


This is right on the money


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## Facet (Oct 2, 2011)

Im starting with a therapist tommorow. Im not too optimistic. Its just a student at a low cost. Im usually completely brainless in the morning and my appt is at ten.


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## SamodrotAgressivoDrot (Nov 16, 2011)

If something makes DP worse, it may be considered as somehow related to the reasons of DP. AFAIK talk therapy is focused on finding the reasons of DP in the unconscious mind, that is not surprising if the condition becomes worse because DP is a sort of protection from a psychological promlem/problems that exist in unconscious mind and activated by talk therapy. Maybe that is like a slip noose in case of DP that makes it almost impossible to cure it with only talk therapy, in this case some different method of talk therapy or talk therapy + medicines in prolonged time may be tried.


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## stillhaventfound (Jan 19, 2012)

I saw a therapist twice and it was awful. It was for other issues (stress, anxiety, depression) and I still have never discussed my DP with anyone, but this is what I've found:
a. a major cause of my DP is my chronic avoidance of opening up to others...I'm guessing it's this way for others, too?
b. being forced to open up in such an unnatural setting definitely makes me feel less like myself. I feel so out of place and so scrutinized.
c. trying to describe my issues to someone who doesn't know me is really hard, especially since I have social anxiety especially when having to talk about myself. it is much better to talk to someone you know: you feel much more like the person listening understands and knows you, even if you don't feel that way yourself.


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## TheStarter (Oct 19, 2010)

After a while in therapy, i noticed i started to get more sad and depressed, does that make therapy bad ? No.

It's quite the opposite, what actually happens is that therapy unleashes feelings deep down inside of you since you talk about it, you sometimes relive these moments, or relive the horrible situations you have been it, this is all needed to find the underlying cause of your problems.

So its pretty healthy that therapy make things seem worse, subconciously you are also busy accepting everything that happened.

So the moral of what i am telling is: First you feel bad, subconciously ignoring all the OTHER horrible feelings, now these feelings are opening up. So its a good thing.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

Many many things in therapy feel like they get worse before they get beter. That doesn't mean the therapy makes it worse. Talking about it can bring up feelings, it could feel worse but it's not actually worse. Therapy isn't natral for people, new things are uncomfortable, doesn't make them bad. I'd be dead wihout therapy


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

therapy does not make things worse. end of story.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

it can make things temporarily worse. but a therapist cannot bring up things that arnt already there inside ya


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