# Anyone have an answer?



## Guest (Mar 2, 2006)

Hello, everyone. I am 21 years old and I am in a constant state of confusion. As a kid growing up I never knew myself, but i figured that was something that i would develop over time. Now, it seems like my mind is working against me. I am constantly confused, I can't make a decision, and i feel my mind is taking over me. I dont have any idea who I am and when i think about it, i cant come up with an answer. Im scared because i feel like my life is passing me by and i have no control. Somedays its really bad, my head is heavy and i just want to hide in my house. I always feel pressure when im in public, like there is a spotlight on me all the time. Also, it seems as if my brain doesn't function like it used to. My short term memory is terrible, i can't keep important things in my head. Basically, im really scared because i have no passion or direction in my life, i feel like i view the world outside myself through other peoples eyes and there is no me. In a sense, i think of myself how i believe other people do? I am really not sure what i am experiencing. I do know that it is consuming me to the point that i dont want to do anything anymore. All my ambitions and goals suddenly disappeared and i lost myself. I have trouble focusing and concentrating on the smallest things. When i feel this happening, i say to myself, "Whats wrong with me." Its crazy because i feel like there are two people in my mind battling each other. I hide these feelings everyday because i dont want to be viewed as different but in reality i have never felt normal.


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## greatnavad (Feb 23, 2006)

HI.
Does it sound thisthis was my own post couple of hrs ago)...

Hi, 
WHO AM I....

There are SOOOOOOOOO many people with the same condition that its really REMARKABLE.. and STRANGE.

My GREATEST symptom of DP has always been the "LOSS OF SELF". 
ITs the wierdest feelign one could ever know. Its like ur observing ur own thought processes, and u are thinkign what am i gonna think next. its like ur having phobia about ur own thoughts.

I constantly obess about WHO I REALLY am? Am i ME. AM the complete person in charge of this body. AM the chap who is writing this message. Am i the chap who is DOING THE THINKING???.. i mean..if iam not.,... DO I EXIST... doest anything exist.. its at this poing .. it really begins to piss me off...(My heart begins to race) and i feel almost dying.... I always wondered WHO ME is..

ITS like something in brain is trying to fish around for floating SELVES and try and catch it and say "AHA , ur what i thought CONSTITUTED ME"...the moment u find it.. its like its slips again and the entiy trying to fish too is dead... and ur like left ..selfless...alone..dead...SAAAD..

ur constantly trying to grapple with SELF's EXISTENCE and EXISTENCE in general..

THE GREATEST THING about DP Is.... 
IT DOES NOT EFFECT A Single moment of life on the outside.... NOBODY in the world is gonna call u mad/physco or retard.....

U just have to ignore it..Easier said than done....


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2006)

I can relate to what you are saying. I am always struggling with my personality and just myself as a whole. Its like im an empty canvas taking bits and pieces of people to help paint a picture of what i think people will except. I can never answer, " what do i like, where do i want to go in life, and ultimately who am i? Example: In highschool i was asked to create a piece of art that was a self portrait of who i am. I struggled so hard to come up with a vision of myself that i then tried to make something up. It was a terrible battle, such an easy assignment was torture for me. At that time i never thought something was wrong with me, now that i think back on, its so clear to me.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

rsk13 I can relate a lot with what you say and I think that you probably have DP and maybe some personality or ego problems as well.

The best thing to do is to just stop asking the question "who am i" and start living and being the person that you want to be. Instead of asking who am I, start asking "who do I want to be" and then start building your identity. 
As for myself, I am a bit of a hypocrite right now because I am failing at everything but I won't ever give up trying.

I think that we all have to do everything we can in order to build our identity, and stop trying to just find are identity as if there is really something to be found anyway.


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