# Derealization Solipsism Delusions



## Twinings

Hi everyone,

I like to get straight to the point. I have no trauma history, a bit of emotional abuse as a child. I am very attached to my parents(especially father) and very dependent. (28 years old) since I was 4 I began having paranoid thoughts, questioned my parents about poisoning my food. The thoughts that have plagued me and lasted the majority of my life are - is everything a figment of my imagination? Who am I? Is there a God/Devil evil force controlling my environment causing me to suffer. Am I the only one in the universe? How did I get here... You get the point. 24/7 no medications will control these thoughts. They keep me from functioning as an adult. Can't keep jobs, self harm, over 10 hospitalizations. Diagnosis, as of today... 
Can anyone relate to these scary solipsistic type thoughts? It's terrifying 
Borderline Personality

Major Depressive

OCD

Delusional Disorder


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## Twinings

Thank you for being so kind to respond. I'm going to click on your link now and I see you have a few more below you post. I didn't know do many others dealt with these thoughts. Thank you


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## Guest

not sure why this is on this board all the time. this is not mental illness or medical disorder. i studied this in philosophy.

Decartes discussed this in the 1600s. bad with dates my memory is bad. first discussed 400 bc.? buddhism, other religions

discuss this. why do people here think this is DP. it is not. freud also wrote about this. philosophy not DP.


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## Hosscat

Hi, im also battling this as well, though its only been a little over a year for me. Have you looked into erp(exposure response prevention) for ocd? Its what im doing and im slowly getting better. Basically you expose yourself to your fear as much as possible without fighting it, let the fear come. Over time it gets less and less. And accept that you cant answer the thought. When you have the thought now what do you do? Argue with it, try to prove it wrong?


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## Twinings

Solomon Orlando - Fearless- I don't know what's causing it. I've been through so much traumatic stress , continuous not one single event. Maybe I should look into that. Problem is my memory is wiped out. I can barely remember a single thing about my life. Just a handful of events, snippets. I did have Meningitis twice, Bacterial and Viral. The DR/DP began long before. This is too confusing.


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## Twinings

Fearless-why did you stop reading in the beginning?


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## Twinings

Oh and my father is the most gentle, kind man ever. Now... He used to scream, very explosive anger at my mom mostly but my sister and I as well. Until I was 15. Then it all stopped. Abruptly. But he never hit us. It's hard to talk about because I feel guilty, he's done everything for me, protected me, made sure I was safe etc.


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## Jurgen

visitor11 said:


> not sure why this is on this board all the time. this is not mental illness or medical disorder. i studied this in philosophy.
> Decartes discussed this in the 1600s. bad with dates my memory is bad. first discussed 400 bc.? buddhism, other religions
> discuss this. why do people here think this is DP. it is not. freud also wrote about this. philosophy not DP.


Don't be so insensitive. It's a problematic issue for people who are already suffering from an existing mental disorder. Philosophies such as this which provide even more room to question the "reality of reality" only allows one to travel deeper in the rabbit hole. It's no surprise the OP feels so heavily about this. I have too.

To the OP -

Welcome to the board. I have/somewhat am in your predicament. I have nothing but wonderful parents. The truth is scientists don't really know if Solipsism is true or not because at the moment they do not have full access to consciousness. It is actually a very recent development in study for them. This however does not incite Solipsism to be true at all. It simply means that they currently do not have enough evidence to prove it otherwise. Keep in mind also that Solipsism is not even a theory. It is a philosophy. Aside from Descartes and many other metaphysicians who entertained the idea back then, most modern philosophers do not take this idea seriously at all. It goes against science not even in little subtle ways but really big and unnecessarily controversial ways. It's like saying God created the Universe: because scientists do not have enough evidence to validate or invalidate this claim, it allows free abstract thinkers room to endlessly contemplate the nature of the universe and say "well until proven otherwise I stand by my beliefs". Keep in mind science is well on their way to doing just that. Anyways, here are some very brief reasons as to why I believe Solipsism isn't the cause for existence.

1. I refute your Solipsism. 
2. If Solipsism were the case, and other beings were just actually "figments of your imagination" and lacked "consciousness" they apparently are able to do all sorts of things with consciousness. Such as placing patients under anesthesia, prescribing them antidepressants which evidently alters the mind, hallucinatory drugs, etc. You might argue and say that you have subconsciously granted them this ability to do so in order for you to make them appear more realistic. But how and why? It seems like that reason offers only a disturbingly simplistic thought patterns of reasoning to a very profound claim. The Universe itself is a very complex mechanism. Why limit your explanation to a very simplistic and half-assed lame assertion when you are technically God? Why have you limited yourself in such a way? 
3. Every concept you translate is through language. Even Solipsism. If there were no humans around to teach you language, you would not be able to postulate existence. You would effectively be similar to a caveman.
4. The Earth, let alone the universe, is rumored to be waaaaaaaay older than we are by billions of years. This proves something was there before you plopped out from your moms womb into existence.


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## Twinings

Les Miserables,

I understand what your saying in a way, it's very hard for me. The idea is so deeply ingrained. My father brought it up to me when I was 8 years old. He's a professor, he enjoys things like that. But my little mind couldn't handle it and it never went away. My doctors call it a delusion at this point because there is no reasoning with me, I'm unable to accept a logical explanation when there is no logic in my world. I hope this is coming across somewhat clearly. I've always had panic attacks and DR, that came first.


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## Hosscat

Seriously look into doing erp, you FEAR this idea, and this is a way to get over the fear. When you do your true feelings will start to come out and youll be ok, because what will it be when you don't fear it or feel saddened by it, it will just be a thought. Im saying maybe its true maybe its not and sincerely accepting the "possibility" at first it was worse but now the idea is starting to feel wrong slowly but surely.


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## Guest

"Don't be so insensitive. It's a problematic issue for people who are already suffering from an existing mental disorder. Philosophies such as this which provide even more room to question the "reality of reality" only allows one to travel deeper in the rabbit hole. It's no surprise the OP feels so heavily about this. I have too."

how is this insensitive. i have this thinking too. i also studied philosophy in college. philosophy didn't give me dp. studies didn't give this to me. i had it before i went to college. i do not understand this board. i observed this. there is no mental disorder called solipsism. the word is incorrect.


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## Hosscat

Im no doctor but I think it sounds more like ocd than a delusion. If it was a delusion it seems you wouldn't be looking for help with it. You cant reason with ocd either, it always finds a loophole or reason your fear might be right, that's why you have to accept the uncertainty but live your life anyway. Don't let it control you, get out and live life despite the fear.


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## Twinings

Hosscat-I do have insight and I'm seeking help which are signs it's not a delusion. It's just the content of my thoughts are incredibly bizarre but I know where I am, and I can somehow make it to work everyday. I've had OCD my whole life. It's just the CBT/DBT/MEDS cannot control the hold these obsessional thoughts have on me. I want to look more into emotional trauma , disorganized attachment theories and how it can all tie in to chronic derealization. I appreciate you and everyone else's help and I apologize for getting a bit off topic. I'm just desperate for relief.


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## Hosscat

I understand, really. I feel the same way, desperate for it to have passed. Keep erp as an option open to do with an ocd therapist. And don't worry about how long you've had it, ive seen other people who have had it for many years and gotten over it so there is always hope


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## Twinings

Hiosscat-I just read some of your topics, I'm glad you are finding some relief with ERP. I think I tried that when my thoughts started getting really bad, when I was about 14. I might try again. I feel your pain about it not causing anxiety but causing fear but much sadness. I think about my family a lot and then feel sad when I can't even prove to myself if they are there in front of me or I'm imagining them.


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