# no man is worth crying over



## Guest (Jan 14, 2006)

"no man is worth crying over and the only one that is would never make you cry"

Read this once on a relationship group.It kinda made me sit up and take note.

Any commnents on this belief?female or male,gay or straight?


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2006)

Are you having relationship problems?


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

Sorry Shelly, but i think you merely paraphrased this quote and left out an essential part...i've modified it here free of charge...



Shelly said:


> "no man is worth crying over...well, except sebastian."


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

beachgirl who isn't? LOL when you're in a relationship you think being single looks good and when you're single you just want to find the one.
Well some of us do anyway.

Sorry,Sebastian as I understand it there are no exceptions not even somebody as charming as yourself.

Let's say it was your friend,sister or mother.
Is this the sort of thing you might say to comfort and empower them?
Or is it just way too idealistic?
Is this what we should require for ourselves?
I know it's what women want.Should we ever settle for less?

Now I'm feeling a little like Carrie Bradshaw from TV show..... Sex.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

I think most men are worth crying over, at least I hope so.

I also hope they think most women are worth crying over at times.

I don't participate in the battle of the sexes.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

Shelly, I think that quote is pretty accurate. Every once in a while a good guy may make you cry by being an @sshole, but in general, it he's making you feel like shit all the time, let him go. Everyone is so scared of being "alone" that they stay in these miserable situations. And they never realize that you can be a lot happier being single that being with a jerk. But you can tell somebody that till you're blue in the face. Some people just like the rollercoaster too much. It's like crack, with the highs and lows.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

I think beachgirl is right-- one would hope most people are worth crying over. It also depends on how easily one cries; it's a relative statement in that respect.

But I think what the statement is trying to say is that your shouldn't miss the people who didn't treat you with respect.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

The quote said, "would never *make* you cry." If someone is making you cry, you need to assess the situation.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

Thanks I've found the replies interesting.
Crying over, I took to imply a man who causes you hurt and pain.

Do woman really think a man who causes them pain is one worth holding onto?

I recall in the past when I hurt somebody badly by my actions.
I don't think at the time I was worth hanging onto.

Naturally there are degrees to all this hurt.
How many tears are too much?

I think enngirl and I might be on the same page.
I'd sure rather have a man who made me laugh or made me have a lovely big smile


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

> made me have a lovely big smile.


Indeed. 8)

In reality, if we were all at our best mentally and physically, I don't think we would allow a "person", shall I say so as not to offend the men, to make us cry but a few times and then we would move along. Self esteem, age, physical and mental health have much to do with why some make the decisions they do.

Just my take. FWIW :wink:


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

I'd like to announce that I AM NOW WORTH CRYING OVER

yes, my stock has risen

:lol:


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

*That* is worth two :lol: :lol: .


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## lemontea (Aug 8, 2005)

SoulBrotha is very funny lately. :lol:


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

are you trying to imply that Im not worth crying over?

:lol:


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## lemontea (Aug 8, 2005)

You're worth laughing over.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

so im a joke????

:lol:


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Noooo...you would be a joke-ster as of late.

Really enjoyable, this side you have always said you show all your friends and are giving us a glimpse into.

Hey? Would that make you a gangster jokester? ( Is that a joke? )


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

no because Im not a " gangsta"

However, Terri you are a gangsta

Word on the street is Terri that you have Platinum Grillz on on your teeth something like this










:lol:


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Yeah, cool huh?

They match my hair. :lol:


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

you have platinum colored hair with princess cut diamonds? :shock:

:lol:


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

That's one dude absolutely not worth crying over :shock:

Terri you know it doesn't appear to be a generational thing(not the bloody teeth LOL) but putting up with traits we don't want in a partner.

My daughter gives me regular updates on her friend's relationships and I'm often surprised that some of these modern independent young women seem to hang onto guys who have a bit too much baggage,or simply don't pull their weight or have some weird disrespectful sexual stuff happening.
Perhaps there simply is a shortage of men.
In N.Y city isn't there three guys to every one woman?
Anyway from what I can tell not all the best one's are taken.

My son complains that there aren't enough nice women in his age group.
He thinks so many of them are crazy LOL.
Funny thing the ladies love him and his generally a tolerant guy but he thinks many women are nuts.

Maybe in this new age we have higher expections than past generations?
After all the dynamics have changed.
Women don't need a man to look after them even though it might sound appealing.
Men still appear to want a woman to take care of them and at the same time be needed.

A heard some poll reported that the number one desire for a man was for a woman to be kind?
I guess I'd have to say it's high up there for me too.Who wants a mean mother fu..er LOL


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

Shelly, I agree with your son


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2006)

LOL soul bro.
I laugh when he tells me this.
I ask him why he thinks they are nuts and he says he doesn't know they just are.(like its a huge global puzzle).


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Shelly, you're right, I should take age out of the equation. But that being said, when I was young-er-er-er, I tended to be out of there if someone was upsetting me. I was just obviously thinking of myself at that point in time and when I posted a reply to your question. Too bad young women or men feel they have to put up with painful relationships. There is soooo much life to live and sooooo many people to meet...and then you get old!

I know SB, hard to believe ( about the hair and the diamonds) - ain't it? :lol:


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

> A heard some poll reported that the number one desire for a man was for a woman to be kind?


Yes, yes. 100% agree.

The trouble is they can be kind one minute then they're reaching down your oesophagus ripping out your testis the next.

Never quite understood that :?


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

> The trouble is they can be kind one minute then they're reaching down your oesophagus ripping out your testies the next.
> 
> Never quite understood that


Really? It's quite simple really. You  and then you :evil: !

Easy.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

And you never mention the 'P' word when they're :twisted:

Because then you make them :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:  :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Hey Terri* what time is it in your neck of the woods? It's almost 11.30am here and I really should be working but the bosses are still on leave and I'm milking it for now.


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2006)

Terri,good for you for getting out pronto.

My daughter is like this.
Her friends tell her she's brave but she thinks it takes more strength to stay,the kind of strength she does not want to waste.

I'm proud of her.
The last guy would have been perfect if he wasn't a drunk.
She saw her future flash before her and knew it wasn't what she wanted........who would?

Funny some of us are more determined to make it work when younger and grow less so with age.
Some do it the other way around.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Milan...it is now 8:43 pm Eastern Time US. WORK ??? What do you want to do that for?

Shelly...last time I got angry with my husband and got enough stuff for a couple of weeks together to leave, I got tired before I got it packed ! Too old for that nonsense now. I used to be able to put everything I owned in a papersack, get in my car and call it a day. Just not so easy now, is it?

Oh the well...

So glad your daughter is a smart cookie. She has a smart Mom, too!


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

That's right, Milan. NEVER mention the _ word :evil: !


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Milan? Your bosses are cows?


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2006)

beachgirl said:


> I think most men are worth crying over, at least I hope so.
> 
> I also hope they think most women are worth crying over at times.
> 
> I don't participate in the battle of the sexes.


Hear, hear.

As for people being worth crying over . . . in general I find the best relationships aren't the ones where you love the other person all the time, you like the other person all the time (which is often more difficult), you would never ever hurt each other . . .

They're the ones where half the time you want to kill each other, but you work it out because when it comes down to it, you care.

I think the song Fairytale of New York sums it up perfectly.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

> They're the ones where half the time you want to kill each other, but you work it out because when it comes down to it, you care.


I have found this to be exactly the way it is.


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## Guest (Jan 16, 2006)

Milan I thought you might be a dairy farmer 

I dunno about wanting to kill the person you love.
oh my, has that been frghteningly tempting at times :shock: this is where I scare myself
reminds me of that movie " love you to death" I love that movie to death.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

I wish I were a dairy farmer - it might be better than staring at a monitor all day long.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

You know, cows always think it's green on the udder side.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I"M SICK !! SICK I TELL"S YA!!

:roll:

Seriously, I didn't used to be this bad.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

:shock:

You know Terri* that puns are not funny but because it's you I have to give you a couple oof these.....


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Thank you Milan. Really, I'm not deserving.

I just don't know what's up with me.

Crazy old bean go mad, I do believe. :mrgreen:


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

SoulBrotha said:


> Shelly, I agree with your son


So do I. But I think it's cuz we show more passion. That's just how it seems to me. Men seem to be able to leave relationships easier. They seem kinda cold about it. There just like ok it's over... like the chic never existed. Women don't forget love.

A man knows when a woman is in love with him, doesn't he... isn't it obvious? And if this woman believes you love her just as much as she loves you... and then realizes this guy's just been using and abusing her and making her look like a fool for the past three years, well passionate love turns into passionate hate.

And it can make people crazy. I for one have fantasized about chopping off my ex's dick.

Ok sorry if that seemed sexist at all, and I don't mean to speak for all women. Honestly I believe it's probably equal on both sides. Evil men, and evil women. The good ones... we just gotta find each other.


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2006)

peacedove said:


> Ok sorry if that seemed sexist at all, and I don't mean to speak for all women. Honestly I believe it's probably equal on both sides. Evil men, and evil women. The good ones... we just gotta find each other.


I also don't think it's a case of evil people being able to leave relationships easier, good people not being able to.

I'm a woman, and I can generally leave relationships very easily - it's not because I'm evil or want to hurt the other person, it's because I don't get strongly attached to people very often (which is partly a DP/DR thing, partly just my personality). Also, there are few things more disturbing to me than being in a relationship - friendship, family, professional, romantic, any kind - whether the other person is a lot more attached to me than I am to them.

Does it make me evil or uncaring that I want to bolt out of unbalanced relationships? Nope. Is it a male characteristic? Nope. It's just a characteristic of anyone who is not strongly/deeply attached.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

peacedove said:


> Men seem to be able to leave relationships easier. They seem kinda cold about it. There just like ok it's over... like the chic never existed. Women don't forget love.


hmmm...i think it depends on the situation. i've had it both ways...


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

> hmmm...i think it depends on the situation. i've had it both ways...


It is very, very easy to walk out on a man and not look back. I agree with Coop, it depends on the situation. Maybe it also depends on one's personality.


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

I have read that women usually deal with their emotions immediately, where as guys tend not to. 3 months later women might be well over it.. while men might just be starting to deal...

I have no idea if that is true.. I cant even remember where I read it. I find it pretty easy to walk away from a relationship also. If someone isnt treating me right I dont stick around for long, and if it becomes obvious their feelings for me have changed, I move on. Not saying Im cold about it though, it can be very painful.. depending on the situation.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

Well, for me its more painful to stay in a relationship where the guy doesn't love me or isn't treating me right than to leave. It hurts both ways but if you leave you will eventually start to heal. For me, I have this knack for being able to not fall for a guy if I know he's a jerk. That's why it pisses me off to be lied to and manipulated, because if they had just been honest with me from the beginning we could have had fun for a while and neither would have been hurt in the end. But instead, a guy, knowing he doesn't love you, will pretend he does, and do everything in his power to convince you of this, for whatever twisted reason, and then you end up with a broken heart. If I know I'm just having fun with a guy, I would never tell him I love him and pretend it's something its not. :?


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2006)

Milan the problem is Terri and I both have mad cows disease,she got it first and then I caught it from her 

enngirl you seemed to have it worked out.You sound like a healthy,rational person when it comes to relationships(and life)..........good for you 

peacedove,I'm not even going to let on about some of my anger fantasies.
I'm afraid it's the one time I can kid myself into thinking that revenge is sweet.
In actual fact I know of so many crazy things women and men have done when their heart has been broken.
Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow.

I've seen some women in the deepest pain over a failed relationship that it took them years to recover if they ever really did.
I've seen the same in some men.
Maybe the harder we love the harder we fall.

It is in most occasions easier for the one who wants out.
Usually one has decided to leave and the other person would much prefer stay together and work it out.

There is new term called "walk away wives"
I spent some time on a relationships board and I was out numbered by men as so many had been left by their walk away wife.
Most of the women there had been left by men during what appeared to be a mid life crisis which apparently might occur any time from about 35 onwards.

I am so pathetic at leaving,so pathetic that sometimes I think I should have never gotten into relationships at all.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

> Milan the problem is Terri and I both have mad cows disease,she got it first and then I caught it from her


 :shock: :shock: :shock:

Now Shell, you *know* you had it first! 8)

"Walk away wives", huh?

Well, I can certainly understand why. The question is...Can men understand why? The answer is...NO.

You try to talk, try to make yourself understood, get down to where you whine, cry and have nervous breakdowns and then, when you are walking out the door with your bags in hand, you hear the infamous..."I didn't know we had a problem." :roll:

My advice...Listen up men.

L-I-S-T-E-N .

Very simple.

Opinions anyone?


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2006)

My opinion: be direct if there is a problem, and don't expect your partner to just pick up on hints. If there is a major difficulty in communication, then there is an issue for *both* people - communication is a two way street.

My opinion is also that if someone goes into a relationship thinking "Ahhh, men never listen!" or "Ahhh, women never make sense!" then it can very easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that life would be a lot easier all round if people didn't make blanket judgements about an entire gender.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

Well, my brother told me that men don't leave their wives, they just cheat on them. Women walk out, which leaves men thinking they're cold hearted b*tches, even though they can cheat and not think twice about it. PS- my brother doesn't believe in cheating. It's just his observation on the male species.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

But Archer, what fun would it be if we didn't make "...blanket judgements about an entire gender." ?

I of course have no statistics, just going on looonnnng time knowledge of female friends and their relationships with boyfriends/significant others/husbands.

Ennegirl, your brother, I believe, is very close to the truth.

My comments usually include every shade of gray known to mankind. Don't take what I say down here for the gospel...it's rare that it is. :wink:


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## Guest (Jan 19, 2006)

terri* said:


> But Archer, what fun would it be if we didn't make "...blanket judgements about an entire gender." ?


Indeed! I'm sure blanket judgements about race and religion are a good laugh, too.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Archer, I'm sorry you have misjudged me so. My post started out as a nudging to get the guys riled up. At times some of us that know each other will do this just to get a rise and get some conversation going. I can see you are very offended. I am sorry you did not take my last statements in to account which was meant to totally cancel out any seriousness to my post.

It also started with kidding about Shelly saying we had mad cow's disease. We usually do a lot of kidding down here. Sorry you took it so seriously.


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## Guest (Jan 19, 2006)

Archer it's cool.
Most of us here know that Terri is a very caring person.
She was just having a little fun,no crime in that.Lord knows we need a bit more in our lives.

Without sounding general it is rather common for women to try to explain to men what they are not happy about.This might happen more so in long term relationships.
It is also rather common for men to say when she's packed and out the door that they didn't see it coming.
I don't think either party is to blame.It's probably a shame that couples don't get help long before the D word seems like the only solution.

Perhaps if communication is the key we could all, check it out with the other person.It's only a suggestion.Maybe it's ok to ask somebody if they are being serious or not?
I don't know,I've heard that sometimes the only dumb question is the one you don't ask?
I admit often times I've assumed such and such and later realised I have assumed incorrectly.

bro said (in agreement with my son) he feels that all women in his age group are crazy.
It might sound like a blanket statement but I know he likes women a lot he might have said he doesn't always understand them from an emotional angle........I think?
Either way I applaud his honesty.

Guess it comes back to internet comunication which has been discussed many times over.Sometimes it's difficult to read between the lines.

No harm done,I'm sure 
Peace


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## Guest (Jan 19, 2006)

I'm not particularly offended.

I also put sexual/gender stereotyping on exactly the same level as racial or religious stereotyping. I respond to them exactly the same way.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Now, Shelly...about saying I have mad cow disease... :lol:


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## Guest (Jan 19, 2006)

Sorry Terri you not a cow but a lovely little possum 

I was once asked by a therapist to name all of the people in my family after
an animal.
The point being to recognise how different we all can be.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Is that what that thing is? :lol:

I am often amazed at the difference in siblings raised in the same home. Some of them can be steady as rocks, while the others never mature past 16 ( leaving mental illness aside). Some happy, others cranky.
Then I see other families where everyone is straight as an arrow. Still others, every damn one of them are messed up in some way. Same house, same parents...it is interesting to think about.

Anyway, I agree wholeheartedly...

"The point being to recognise how different we all can be."


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