# Any Recovery stories from People who have Derealization for years?



## Dyna

Hi, I am a new member to this board but I have been a guest reader here for many years on and off. I have had derealization mainly, for over 15 years after a bad experience smoking pot (my fourth and last time ever) and totally flipped/panicked on it-thought it must have been spiked, but no one else reacted like I did. This dreamlike state has been with me ever since. I was going through a stressful period in my life so I don't know was the pot a trigger or a cause, not that really matters now. I have it 24/7. The intensity varies but it has never gone. I have tried alot over the years but never got my self back..Over the years I have learned to cope well on a day to day basis, I work, am married and from the outside would appear to live a normal life, however I constantly feel like I am trapped in a dream and feel completely detached from my surroundings. I feel like an actor throughout each day as I don't feel emotions or connections with things, places or people in general. I long for connections and attachment and would love to hear from people who have recovered after having chronic derealization and what helped them through it. Thanks, Dyna


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## lexishea28

Dyna said:


> Hi, I am a new member to this board but I have been a guest reader here for many years on and off. I have had derealization mainly, for over 15 years after a bad experience smoking pot (my fourth and last time ever) and totally flipped/panicked on it-thought it must have been spiked, but no one else reacted like I did. This dreamlike state has been with me ever since. I was going through a stressful period in my life so I don't know was the pot a trigger or a cause, not that really matters now. I have it 24/7. The intensity varies but it has never gone. I have tried alot over the years but never got my self back..Over the years I have learned to cope well on a day to day basis, I work, am married and from the outside would appear to live a normal life, however I constantly feel like I am trapped in a dream and feel completely detached from my surroundings. I feel like an actor throughout each day as I don't feel emotions or connections with things, places or people in general. I long for connections and attachment and would love to hear from people who have recovered after having chronic derealization and what helped them through it. Thanks, Dyna


well i feel exactly the same way you do. i've had chronic dr since i was about 11 and im 18 now. mine has never gone away... like you said the intensity varies. but mostly its pretty bad. just want to let you know you're definitely not the only one.


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## CindyinMontana

I got DP when I was 17 after smoking pot (my second time) and was extremely depressed over my first "love" breaking up with me. We have similar stories. After about 2-3 years, I recovered completely and DP was not a thought. I chalked the whole experience up to being allergic to marijuana because no one could not find anything physically wrong with me. That was in 1989. Twenty years passed, DP free. After some recent stressful events in my life, DP returned unfortunately and this time I found out what it actually was. I can't decide if knowing what it is called and reading these posts has been helpful or has made recovery more difficult. Regardless, after a year of recovering and healing myself, I once again felt DP free for about 4 months and then recently attended a meditation retreat and had a relapse.

My point is, you can recover. I can recover. But it takes work. I am a little exhausted and depressed at the thought at working so hard again after having a taste of freedom but I know that it is the only way back. Read my past posts for great tips on how I have recovered if you want to know more. I am still confused as to why I had a relapse because I was hoping I wouldn't see this beast again for at least 20 years...as it was in the past.

Start with downloading the DP Manual if you haven't already done so. YOU CAN RECOVER! It may take a lot of perseverance but it is possible. You have my support and the highest hopes for your complete recovery!!


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## Dyna

Thanks for your reply CindyinMT. I will check out your posts right now. Are you or have you been on meds? did they help you? When you say thta you worked on yourself, what exactly do you mean. Thanks, Dyna


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## Dannielle

I can tell you what happened. It happened to me. Derealization is when your perception slows down. It sometimes occurs with a panic attack, but doesn't have to be accompanied by one. THC causes perception to slow down! This triggered a panic attack in you! It's okay. The same thing happened when I smoked pot. What happened afterwards was that your body was in shock from the panic attack. You probably had multiple attacks in the following weeks/months much like the one you experienced when you were high. I know that the feeling you had when you were high was the most terrible feeling of hell. It was pure, concentrated fear, but it was just a panic attack. I actually just recovered from derealization almost a week ago. I have it very fresh in my mind what helped me. I was reading an article, and learned about what derealization was. The sentence that triggered my healing was this, "People who experience derealization never actually go insane; they continue to recognize the sensations as 'feelings'. The good news is that this state cannot hurt you." That's just it. It has no harm over your body. It is a very uncomfortable, eery feeling, because you feel detached from reality, but it can't hurt you. You are not mentally unhealthy. This is your mind's way of forcing you to relax, by slowing down the information you receive. Your cure is in letting it be. It's okay that you can't perceive things correctly right now. Once you accept that your perception is acting a little funny, your body will _calm down_. You will begin to feel things as you remember you used to. Just relax, and learn to let your body do its thing. It will be just fine.


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## Angel_heaven

Dannielle said:


> I can tell you what happened. It happened to me. Derealization is when your perception slows down. It sometimes occurs with a panic attack, but doesn't have to be accompanied by one. THC causes perception to slow down! This triggered a panic attack in you! It's okay. The same thing happened when I smoked pot. What happened afterwards was that your body was in shock from the panic attack. You probably had multiple attacks in the following weeks/months much like the one you experienced when you were high. I know that the feeling you had when you were high was the most terrible feeling of hell. It was pure, concentrated fear, but it was just a panic attack. I actually just recovered from derealization almost a week ago. I have it very fresh in my mind what helped me. I was reading an article, and learned about what derealization was. The sentence that triggered my healing was this, "People who experience derealization never actually go insane; they continue to recognize the sensations as 'feelings'. The good news is that this state cannot hurt you." That's just it. It has no harm over your body. It is a very uncomfortable, eery feeling, because you feel detached from reality, but it can't hurt you. You are not mentally unhealthy. This is your mind's way of forcing you to relax, by slowing down the information you receive. Your cure is in letting it be. It's okay that you can't perceive things correctly right now. Once you accept that your perception is acting a little funny, your body will _calm down_. You will begin to feel things as you remember you used to. Just relax, and learn to let your body do its thing. It will be just fine.


Congrats on your recovery! Were you taking any supplements or meds? How long have you suffered for?


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## AussiePheonix

Is derealization harder to get rid of that DP?


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## AussiePheonix

Fearless said:


> I had it for 2 years and recovered, check my blog.


Yes I have started reading your blog.

Did you have visual symptoms when you had DP/DR?

What was your underlying trauma if you don't mind me asking?


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## Edis

Hi guys I have had it 20 months.
My wife is a narc.
I have decided to stand upto her
Big style and what a difference.
Listen to what fearless says he is very
Knowledgable all the problem is that we all
Have is fear to get we have to face it head on.


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## Cotillion

Fearless said:


> yeah had visual symptoms. not sure why it's important but I did have them.
> 
> family fights, divorce, death of my brother, and my father is a very unhealthy person to live with. he's an alcoholic, a manipulator, an emotional blackmailer, etc..


What visual symptoms did you have? Also, it's interesting that the death of sibling plays a role in a number of sufferers' stories. For example, before my birth my mom had adopted a boy who sadly died. That was before my birth and played a huge role in my upbringing because my mom was constantly worried that I was ill or something when I was growing up.


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## Edis

Yes the usual dr visual 2D vision


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## Cotillion

Fearless said:


> DP is caused by bad emotional habits basically, and you probably gained them through disorganized attachment style, and/or you "copied" the behaviours from a parent. It's basically that you don't process your emotions. You act like you don't feel them, you act like something isn't hurting you, etc.. You've probably did this since childhood, it just never became a big problem until you got older, and got DP from it.
> 
> Trauma is only "fuel" to this. You first have to learn about yourself, realize your dysfunctional emotional habits, and THEN you can "process" accumulated trauma.
> 
> It's not something you can figure out alone in your bedroom. It's like learning a profession. You haven't been taught by your parents how to deal with your emotions. This is why I call Harrington's program a diamond in the dirt.


Yes, I agree with it. The only problem is that I'm afraid that Harrington's program isn't enough. As I've mentioned earlier, the main reason for me that I feel so bad is the sense that I'm worthless. I really don't know how to fix it...

Also, you didn't answer the question about visual symptoms.


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## Cotillion

Fearless said:


> Harrington gives you a very good knowledge about this.
> 
> You don't fear it's not enough, you fear you have to do it. Be honest to yourself.


Hmm... the fear that I have at the moment is that I'm all alone in this and that I have no idea on how to do it. The only thing that pops into my mind is to train myself to accept myself or something like that... but again I don't really know how to do it.


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## missjess

I think a main cause for this is low elf esteem also because when u have that u don't feel u have the right to even speak up let alone express ur feelings so u start to lock urself and ur opinions away ... Also I think the fear of being vulnerable is involved because of how w me were treated when we were vulnerable but yeah ultimately u have to learn to process ur emotions and integrate them back into your sense of self


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## wise

I think as adults we don't have to tolerate remaining bottled up. We can choose our friends and choose to minimize time with our families if they trigger us with their dysfunction. People/situations that are healthy/make us feel good are the ones who we need to surround ourselves with/be in. Processing of emotions is effortless when you live by a code of unconditional love for yourself. Be brave and don't be afraid to constantly evaluate and cut out what is toxic in your life.


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## Haumea

> Hmm... the fear that I have at the moment is that I'm all alone in this and that I have no idea on how to do it.


Stop focusing on the fear and start doing it.

Follow the program. "Drill down" into various recommendations (what I mean by this is, he doesn't always get very specific about how to practice something, but you can research it on your own), then practice them.

Don't worry about specific symptoms. There are a great many common DP symptoms, but there are some that are idiosyncratic. Doesn't matter - it's still DP, still same mechanism essentially.


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## mikejp

Fearless said:


> I would not look for the cause of my DP in the trauma event itself. It's not like you see or experience a trauma and your brain fucks itself up.
> 
> Also, I'd not look for single events.
> 
> DP is caused by bad emotional habits basically, and you probably gained them through disorganized attachment style, and/or you "copied" the behaviours from a parent. It's basically that you don't process your emotions. You act like you don't feel them, you act like something isn't hurting you, etc.. You've probably did this since childhood, it just never became a big problem until you got older, and got DP from it.
> 
> Trauma is only "fuel" to this. You first have to learn about yourself, realize your dysfunctional emotional habits, and THEN you can "process" accumulated trauma.
> 
> It's not something you can figure out alone in your bedroom. It's like learning a profession. You haven't been taught by your parents how to deal with your emotions. This is why I call Harrington's program a diamond in the dirt.


What about symptoms such as visual snow, migraines, and extreme sinusitus? Sometime its like I've forgotten how to think. Had it for 2.5 years including OCD. Still have it, but have made it through a semester of school after a 2 year leave of absence. No longer a college Freshman, but now 20.


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## missjess

Well said wise


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## missjess

Mikejp

Do you know why you have OCD? You have a belief that you must be perfect and that if ur not ppl will see ur "flawed self" which is ur human self!


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## mikejp

missjess said:


> Mikejp
> 
> Do you know why you have OCD? You have a belief that you must be perfect and that if ur not ppl will see ur "flawed self" which is ur human self!


Its more like "Pure O", but sometimes seemingly complex problems are rooted in simple truths.


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## wise

missjess said:


> I think a main cause for this is low elf esteem also because when u have that u don't feel u have the right to even speak up let alone express ur feelings so u start to lock urself and ur opinions away ... Also I think the fear of being vulnerable is involved because of how w me were treated when we were vulnerable but yeah ultimately u have to learn to process ur emotions and integrate them back into your sense of self


And just to add, self awareness is everything and half the battle. Those that don't have it are the ones that marry/ attract people like their abusive families and perpetuate their dp symptoms because that's what they are familiar with. If you can work on your self worth then you will be well on your way to mental health because it's a further precaution toward gravitating toward toxic people. Knowledge is power.


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