# Hello



## nellykelson (Jun 20, 2007)

Hello, 
My name is Kelly and I'm 17 years old. I have not been diagnosed with DP or DR but I've been searching the internet for answers to what I have been dealing with for so long. Maybe someone on here can give me the answers. Like I said, I haven't been diagnosed with DP or DR but I believe I may some form of one of them.

Well, I'm an only child so I've had a pretty good imagination, or so I thought. I've always had make believe friends and had a good time playing by myself. But as I got older I noticed that it never really went away. It's like I'm ALWAYS day dreaming. Always. I day dream that I'm someone else, living in a different place and have a totally different life. I can do this so well that I can still know what's going on around me. I have no problems paying attention in school or talking to friends and family. I'm Kelly on the outside but it isn't Kelly on the inside.

I come from a good family...but we've had our problems in the past. My parents got divorced when I was about 9 years old and during the time of the divorce, my mom had a boyfriend named Ron. Ron was very nice but soon changed after we all moved in with each other. He began abusing my mom. He never physically abused me but I know that he hated me and wanted me gone so he could have my mom to himself. So the emotional abuse was there and affected me. My mom got out of that relationship and found someone new....Alex. He was a "hero" and married my mom. I was really close to him, like a borther/sister relationship. But a year and 3 weeks after being married he left and said marriage wasn't for him. This crushed me. And this is where I believe my "day dreaming" really got started, about 5 years ago. My family life is good these days, my parents have become friends and put their past aside.

I should also mention that both of my parents have been treated for depression and anxiety. I believe that I have/am depressed but I don't have to confidence to tell anyone.

But my "day dreaming" just keeps going on and on. Sometimes what goes on in my dreaming world, really upsets me and I can't snap out of it. I have to tell myself who I am and that I'm not this other person.

Though sometimes it is nice, it can also scare me. Some days I feel like I'm going insane and that no one will believe me if I told them....or that they wouldn't take me seriously and call me crazy. I think that's the reason why I haven't really told anyone that I know about this.

Does any of this relate to anyone?

Hope everyone is doing well. : )

I'm glad to have found this board.

-Kelly


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## severed (Jun 11, 2007)

I can admit that I have a day dream world, and this is also the first place I've written about other than my journal. I can totally understand the part about your emotions from the day dream world bleeding into "actual reality". I started day dreaming long before my dr though, and I don't really know if that is a symptom, does anyone else? I have found though that when I get really busy or am having a good time I forget all about my alternate reality, sometimes for weeks.

You should see a prefessional about the depression and dp/dr though. I know about not wanting to tell anyone about what you're feeling... I'm 18 and told my parents just recently about my dr through a letter because I couldn't get it out the words out of my mouth, I felt embarassed, ashamed, didn't want them to think I was crazy. There are other places you can get help though, for example a drop-in teen clinic. I haven't been to one, but I'm sure a councillor there could hook you up with a therapist or psychiatrist. Or you could talk to your family doctor. Telling your parents might be a good idea because they can also point you in the right direction since they've been through this as well.

Good luck!!


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## suz (Mar 26, 2007)

Sounds like you have some kind of thought 'compulsion' maybe. Like you've got yourself stuck in this thought loop. I'm not sure if it is DP/Dr as this is different for so many people, but it doesn't sound like what's going on in my head.

You should see a Doctor, that's normally the best bet


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## nellykelson (Jun 20, 2007)

thanks everyone. 
i'm in the process of writing a letter to my mom. i have a hard time asking for anything but i seem to get it out when i write it down. plus it think she'll take it seriously if i write it down because i only write her when i want something.

-kelly


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