# Random acts of desperation.



## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

You know, I must lead a charmed life. I just went around the local shop to buy some cigarettes, and on the way I stopped to stroke a cat. After exactly two seconds of stroking, the cat threw up on my shoe. A really nasted yellow gak. I think it must have been saving it for someone like me. It really heaved it's guts up. I was so stunned I just stood there like an idiot and let it do it. My foot disappeared under a great big pile of cat vomit. I did my best to clean it up, but can you imagine what my office smells like now? And the worst thing is - everyone is so polite that they haven't mentioned it. What do I say? Admit that a cat pumped up over me, or that my hygiene is getting a little lacklustre?

Anyway, that's not why I posted this post but I thought I'd share. What I want to ask is this: Does anyone, when they are really anxious, ever do quite insanely random stuff, just to try and preoccupy their thoughts? I have a, er, friend who does this. I tell, er, him to behave himself, but she rarely listens. He, she, oh sod it - I, get into all kind of scrapes because of that. Because it's my only reliable distraction technique, it's almost become second nature.


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

Martinelv said:


> You know, I must lead a charmed life. I just went around the local shop to buy some cigarettes, and on the way I stopped to stroke a cat. After exactly two seconds of stroking, the cat threw up on my shoe. A really nasted yellow gak. I think it must have been saving it for someone like me. It really heaved it's guts up. I was so stunned I just stood there like an idiot and let it do it. My foot disappeared under a great big pile of cat vomit. I did my best to clean it up, but can you imagine what my office smells like now? And the worst thing is - everyone is so polite that they haven't mentioned it. What do I say? Admit that a cat pumped up over me, or that my hygiene is getting a little lacklustre?
> (


Well, i don't really have anything to add on the random behaviour, but i have to say this little anecdote made me chuckle a good deal. :lol:

As you can see by the emoticon, i speaketh the truth.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

what kind of things are you talking about? stripping naked and running down the street?

where is it you live again? :twisted:


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

Martin said:


> I have a, er, friend who does this. I tell, er, him to behave himself, but she rarely listens. He, she, oh sod it - I, get into all kind of scrapes because of that. Because it's my only reliable distraction technique, it's almost become second nature.


My sense is that these acts of desperation do involve the removal of clothing, which can be fun. :twisted:

I'm available. 8) 
I think.
What the Hell am I saying, LOL. :shock:


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

this thread intrigues me.

i've had times where slamming my head against a wall was far superior to just sitting there.

sometimes it doesn't even feel like anxiety...but boredom.

walking down the hall of a building a few days ago it smelled strongly of paint or paint thinner or something and i had the urge to inhale and inhale and inhale as much as i could. i didn't do it, thank goodness, but it was just like...i was sick of everything being so...drab?

i once kicked a hole in the wall because i had to wait an hour to go out somewhere and i was bored RIGHT THEN. and i tried covering the hole with similar colored printer paper and moving a table in front of it and my friend liz comes over and walks by it and casually remarks "nice hole in the wall" and i'm like "you fucking bitch"



i have ALWAYS wanted to crowdsurf, and i was drunk enough to do it earlier this year and got thrown on my tailbone, didn't regret it but felt bad for costing dad a few hundred in xrays...

(tomorrow is his birthday..maybe i should avoid costly injuries as my birthday present to him.)

oh man i forgot i wrote this...i left this window open for a while


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## boohoo (Aug 4, 2005)

> After exactly two seconds of stroking, the cat threw up on my shoe.


I'm sure I'd have done the same thing


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## Guest (Nov 2, 2005)

boohoo said:


> > After exactly two seconds of stroking, the cat threw up on my shoe.
> 
> 
> I'm sure I'd have done the same thing


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

This is furtile ground for stroking pussy humour. But I'll let tact prevail.



> I'm sure I'd have done the same thing


 Have I offended you in a previous life? :lol:


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

It was the first thing I thought of this morning, the cat puking on your shoe. It just came to me and I started to laugh out loud :lol:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm glad that my misfortune continues to cheers everyone up.

:evil:


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## Axel19 (Aug 11, 2004)

> My sense is that these acts of desperation do involve the removal of clothing, which can be fun.


Funny you should mentiom this, since dp/anxiety I have been doing this a lot. I always get my nob out, seriously, it's insane. I do it partly because I think it's funny and partly out of boredom.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

WHAT???

WHAT???

I cannot believe that *that* word Axel used does not warrant some kind of investigation. 8)

I just [/i]knew_ there was some reason they put you in lock down in Atlanta. :lol:

Seriously, I questioned how long it would take to get you locked up here, and now, well...will see.

Of course a nob could be like a toque for all I know. :?_


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

G-funk started this and Little Miss Dreamer opened the door wiiiiide open with her naked thing.

Okay, everybody back in the breadbasket...you know where we're going.


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

mrmole said:


> boohoo said:
> 
> 
> > > After exactly two seconds of stroking, the cat threw up on my shoe.
> ...


What, stroked the cat, or thrown up on his shoe?


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

I'm voting on thrown up on the shoe.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

And this all started out so innocently. Sigh.

Axel, Person3 - I known what you mean. I'm starting to think whether I actually have _ever_ enjoyed _anything_ whatsoever, and so I do spontaneous and mildly outrageous things to try and 'feel' something. Hmm. Yes, I think there is definately something in that.

I've never got my knob out though.

(And yes Terri* - a knob is exactly what you think it is.)


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

Martinelv said:


> I've never got my knob out though.


i really doubt this.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

I also find the statement highly suspicious. 8)

BTW, for future reference...is it nob or knob?

I have a friend who recently moved to England and I want to be sure I share correct information with her.


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

knob like on a door.

they also call it a pink darth vadar.

english people come up with the darndest things! :roll:


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## Guest (Nov 4, 2005)

Purple headed womb broom is my personal favourite :lol:


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)




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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Well Okie Dokie, I get it now.

Monkeydust, thanks for the pictorial.

Mole, promise me you won't post a picture of yours. :shock:


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## Guest (Nov 4, 2005)

terri* said:


> Mole, promise me you won't post a picture of yours. :shock:


I try not to make promises I can't keep :twisted: 
:shock:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I've just had a think and I really don't think there could be anything that would be deleted quicker than a picture of Mr Mole's do-da. 8)


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## Guest (Nov 4, 2005)

Martinelv said:


> I've just had a think and I really don't think there could be anything that would be deleted quicker than a picture of Mr Mole's do-da. 8)


Just for that I will post up a picture of my cock. :evil:

Let's see how quick you are.










:lol:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear lord...don't do that to me. I've got my explorer window minimised and for a heart stopping moment, before I scrolled down, I thought you really had done it.....

:evil:


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## Guest (Nov 4, 2005)

Martinelv said:


> Dear lord...don't do that to me. I've got my explorer window minimised and for a heart stopping moment, before I scrolled down, I thought you really had done it.....
> 
> :evil:


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

omg that scared the **** of me too.

HAHAH


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

oh. my. god.

i quit.

whoever was in charge of editing the s*** word to become "silly billy" when you type it should be beaten up. badly.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Well let me see. shit, shit, shit.


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Well, that's what they did.

P3,

Martin...our local St. Mod, is putting this little funny on Homeskooled along with most of the other moderators, but Rev says he is totally innocent of any involvement.

Oh those wild and crazy mods! What will they think of next?

What scares me is their ability to move in and out of the shadows. :shock:


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## Guest (Nov 5, 2005)

bastard

:shock: :?

AM I the only one who finds it (The new swear filter) hilarious?


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

The point that the mods got all giggly over this idea...

*That* is funny.

Silly buncha gooberheads.


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## Axel19 (Aug 11, 2004)

Well I am constantly exposing my 'Richard the Third's Sausage Breakfast' at parties and other social gatherings.


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

fine since everyone is doing it... lets get this over with! :?

heres an extreme close up photograph of my silky, dripping flower. 

:shock:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








:twisted:


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## Tom Servo (Sep 19, 2005)

terri* said:


> Well, that's what they did.


S.h.*.t., you're right! F.*.c.k!


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

I ate a lot last night. I think I'm gonna have a silly billy on the bog.


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