# Some insight gained while recovering



## Pogo (May 26, 2014)

Hello people!

In advance, sorry for wall of text!

I would also like to point out that everyone's story is different. I do not claim to be a professional, nor to have all the right answers. I am only giving tips based on my own experience, and things that has helped me recover.

Alright, so let's get started. I'm a 22 year law student who has struggled a lot with anxiety (diagnosed with GAD), depression and dr/dp. It took me about 18 months from my first experience with dp/dr to finally realize that I needed professional help. During these 18 months, I suffered largely through constant derealization, with little to no relief. My anxiety levels were constantly through the roof. I could barely sleep, didn't want to eat and spent most of time trying to rationally figure out and understand what the heck was happening to me. My symptoms were strange and foreign, and would often change from day to day. On one occasion I would worry about a particular strange, bizarre or crazy thought I had just had, constantly question whether or not I would act on this thought, trying to understand where it came from. The next day I would worry about why I often saw rapid movement in the corner of my eye, when nothing had moved at all. Was this some sort of hallucination?

These are just two examples of a list of probably 30-40 different symptoms that I experienced during this period. I would instantly start googling the things I felt, sometimes I would find a sensible answer, but most times I would not. It didn't really matter, in hindsight I was driven with so much worry and fear, that nothing I found would have helped anyway.

For me, my biggest fear and the thing that kept me worrying, was the prospect that I might be developing schizophrenia or in some other way going into a psychosis. During my darkest times, I was convinced that I would soon "go crazy" or in some way lose control over my rational mind. It was late at night one time, where I found myself figuring out how I could lock my own bedroom door in such a way that I would not be able to open it when I became psychotic. It was on this particular night, I said to myself enough is enough, this needs to change.

This was five months ago, and while I would not say I'm cured nor fully recovered, I am a million times better than what I was back then. Here's a small list of what has helped me regain confidence and belief that I will be fully recovered.

1) Seek professional help! For me this was key. I was lucky to find a very sympathetic psychiatrist who provided me with answers to my worrying. For a year and half, I had been having all these conversations with myself, trying to figure everything out on my own. It only made me worse. Now I had a professional who could guide me, provide answers and be a "partner in crime" when something worried me. This made me think less when I was on my own.

Remember although many of us share the same symptoms, our stories are different. Why I suffer from anxiety and dp/dr will be different than yours. Professionals will be able to assess and understand the back story, your past and thought patterns that has developed into anxiety and dp/dr.

2) Understand RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, that you are NOT developing any serious mental illness. This is a natural defense mechanism provided by the body to protect you from a stressful situation. My fear of developing schizophrenia was what kept me frightened, and my symptoms in check.

3) Stop googling or reading too much on the internet. This is also a big one. You HAVE to let go, you have to force yourself to give in to this scary feeling. I could never find more than temporary relief from a google search. Part of the process is to teach your brain to stop focusing on dp/dr, to not look upon this as a something to be afraid of.

4) Ignore deeply philosophical, existential questions for the time being. There will be a time for deep thinking when you are feeling better. For now, accept that the thoughts are there, but do not pay them much attention and continue with the actual things you need to get done. The same goes for other strange or in other way "crazy" thoughts you might have. They are created by an anxious mind, but a sane one - trust me.

5) When feeling a lot of dr/dp, learn techniques to focus on the psychical things around you. Touch your body, objects you have in your vicinity. Feel the texture of it, the weight in your hands. This helped me not only concentrate on something else, but also made me aware of what was happening around me.

6) This is a boring one, but has been invaluable nevertheless. Fix your sleep pattern immediately, and start exercising if possible. Also, eat properly. These things are basic, but essential.

7) Understand that recovery takes time, so give yourself that time. If that means to take a break from work, from studying, whatever, then give yourself the breathing space to recover. I'm on a year of my studies at the moment. For me, this was essential in eliminating other stressful elements in my life. This does not mean however that you should sit inside all day, left with nothing but yourself and your own thoughts. After four months of recovering, I started working part time at my local school. When you feel ready, be sure to find something to occupy yourself with, find something you master, something meaningful to you.

 Understand that there will be bad times and good times, and that recovery is a process. I would have days, and I still do, where I felt I was back to square one. My symptoms were back, my thoughts were getting crazier, and I felt once again afraid that I was developing something serious. This is hard to accept, but completely normal. There will be good times and bad. But don't fall back into old routines, don't open up google yet again, do something else than what you did in the past.

9) This will only apply to some, and should always be done in agreement with a psychiatrist, but look into the possibility of using medication for a while. I'm currently on SSRI antidepressants, and have had great results. When my anxiety levels were getting lower, my dp/dr was almost gone.

10) When on recovery, you don't have time for feeling sorry for yourself or thoughts of worthlessness. I would love these feelings, and at times almost romanticize my own "struggle". Sometimes cry because of the hopelessness of my own situation, and I would feel completely worthless. These thoughts are not, and will never be true, or hold any merit at all.

11) Lastly, a slightly motivational one. Never lose hope or give in to this terrible feeling. Although it sounds cheesy, there is some meaning in some inspirational quotes. Try searching for some, and find something that you relate to. Visualize it and make it your mantra.

I hope some of these has helped for some of you. I will probably edit this post later with more tips, but for now this will do.

Good night everyone, and remember, you are not alone. Whatever you are experiencing, someone else has had it like that before.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Andrea44 said:


> There is no such thing as "recovery" there is remission by management so that you don't see or aren't bothered by your symptoms. People that are sort of "new" to DPD or mental illness want to aim for total recovery when it's much more realistic to try to achieve management as this is often a chronic condition as with any mental disorder.
> 
> I know you're looking to help people with these "tips" but understand that DPD often can't be reasoned with logically.


Considering that this same advice has been echoed endlessly in the recovery section, it's obviously accurate to a degree, or should we just delete that whole sections because it provides only false hope?

If you gave up, then fine, but don't go around telling people that recovery is impossible, when that is clearly YOUR situation and doesn't apply to everyone.


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

Andrea44 said:


> Oh boy, honey I'm sorry to say this there is no cure for DPD and the recovery stories are just wishful thinking and lies. You will likely always have this disorder but that's not to say that you might find a medication regimen that will help you manage symptoms and live as productively as you can with your illness. If you don't want to accept the truth then that's perfectly fine.


Get some perspective beyond your own horrendously skewed one.

Your situation doesn't dictate everyone's, and their is a plethora of information to the contrary of what you say.

Until you either change your attitude or stop your nonsense I'm going to have to reply to every single comment you make with a recovery story.

I don't want to see people get drawn into your hopelessness.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/46009-les-mis%C3%A9rabless-recovery-story/


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## SinisterMinister (Oct 14, 2013)

Thanks for the helpful advice. Nothing is a sure fire way to elimination of these mental issues, but getting ideas that have helped other people, in my mind, is beneficial. For me, I am trying to get a grip on my issues sans meds, which I have tried before and didn't work for me. I am taking a holistic approach, that seems to be helping. I enjoy reading the posts people make about things that have helped then and really hate the negative ones because they don't think there is hope.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Okay andrea.ü just havnt Had it get better obviously. What makes ü a Professional. I Know tons of ppl Who have recovered completely. Ofcourse Its possible for it To return because its a habit of a defense mechanism. When ü dont Need it anymore it will be gone. Sounds like u are a little jealous to those who recovered.or are recovering. Why would u want to come on here to be so negative. Its Ur problem and Its very obvious What Ur doing. I would encourage people to not listen to this negativity


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

yes u have it episodic and i bet it happens during stressful times. But if its gone for a long period of time it is gone. ur mind is in a habit of dissociating. ur saying this because this is YOUR experience. doesnt mean everyone else will have it episodic. some may never get it again. if urs comes and goes i can understand that u would think this. mine has been on and off for four years since my anxiety disorder began. its also been gone before for a full year. but i still have an anxiety disorder which is why i will still experience dp in intense periods of stress. when i no longer need it (when and if i overcome my anxiety issues) it will then be gone. u dont have it chronically which is great. but maybe u having this mentality is not helping u either.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

and there is alot of evidence that it is a defense mechanism. because it comes on from some sort of trauma. be it stress, illness, anxiety, . may seem to some people it came out of no where but i bet if they went through the months leading up to it they would see that somewhere something got too much for their mind they dissociated. every psychologist/mental health professional would back this up. because u have an opinion does not mean its fact.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Andrea44 said:


> Oh boy, honey I'm sorry to say this there is no cure for DPD and the recovery stories are just wishful thinking and lies. You will likely always have this disorder but that's not to say that you might find a medication regimen that will help you manage symptoms and live as productively as you can with your illness. If you don't want to accept the truth then that's perfectly fine.


Peolpe like you should be removed from this forum. Dpselfhelp is for those who want to get better. How dare you come on here saying peoples recovery stories are lies.This forum has helped me and so many others get better and I'm have not taken one medication yet,some people take meds and some don't and recover both ways. Take your negetivity somewhere else.And that's the truth whether u like it or not.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Pyrite said:


> Considering that this same advice has been echoed endlessly in the recovery section, it's obviously accurate to a degree, or should we just delete that whole sections because it provides only false hope?
> 
> If you gave up, then fine, but don't go around telling people that recovery is impossible, when that is clearly YOUR situation and doesn't apply to everyone.


These are the words of someone who has given up hope, and wants to drag down people with her. I'm not one to argue with people but because I'm doing so well now, I don't want people who are suffering to read this crap and believe it. People with DP are so sensitive to any kind of info, the recover section is there for a reason because you can fully recover.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Andrea44 said:


> Depersonalization disorder is a chronic condition just as say, diabetes. When you gain more insight on your mental illness you will begin to understand its nature and that it is something inherent to your mind and not able to be removed. I imagine you are likely young and not very experienced with matters pertaining to mental health as your view of this condition seems a little uninformed.


oh little girl, you have no idea who you talking to.trust me I'm older than you and know more than you I'm sure  I'm doing well now and had DP very badly. Clearly you don't know what your taking about because YOU still have it.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

P.S I'm not going to argue with children that don't know much. All I'm saying and this is last thing I'm going to say on the issue. This forum is for those who want to recover, you understand. So, that's why people come here to get support for that. That's why I came and now I'm doing very well. You don't believe in full recovery, then you probably should leave this forum. Its not fair for you to come on here and spread your hopeless around to people who are already suffering. All I'm saying is this might not be the place for you, since you don't believe in recovery, something you should think about.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Andrea44 said:


> I am mentally ill, I have been sick for years and I would love not to "have it" anymore but I have no choice as my mind isn't in my control. My DP is actually not the main issue and rarely ever appears but it will always "be there" waiting in a latent form which I'm well aware of.
> 
> Isn't it nice that you get to "choose" you mental health, huh?


So,now you realize that you are spreading foolishness on this forum about the fact that no one can recover,so you want to switch topics. That game is not going to work with me. Everybody has mental issues. My point is don't corrupt this site, with your negativity of no recovery of DP, and I feel very strongly about that. I care for the people on here and I want them to fully recover.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Andrea44 said:


> How old are you? you honestly seem teenaged.


lol,ok. My point is made.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Exactly As above. Thats ur story . Doesnt mean its fact or that Its the same As anyone elses.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Andrea get off the forum. what are u doing on here of u dont believe its something that can be overcome and if u also dont believe that dp is an issue for u. your very arrogant and highly attention seeking. ur mind isnt out of ur control completely. but i dont care u are only hindering ur own recovery. so clearly u want to come on here to hinder everyone elses. u just come accross rude. nothing else.


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