# Dpdr story



## JoshS. (May 16, 2020)

Hi I am a 25 yr old male with depersonilization derealization disorder. I have a lot of different hallucinations about death and hear things that are not there. In 2018 I smoked marijuana and I had a bad panic attack thought I was going to die from there on after I kept getting detached from my body and mind and had visual and audio hallucinations. Was bed ridden too it kept getting worse. I had a hallucination where I thought I was going to go to a high place and jump to my death and another where I would get a gun and shoot myself in the head. One day I awoke and freaked myself out by thinking I was a spirit and my body didn't have organs or limbs it was very weird. With the time also I though it was fixed like I controlled it or it was fake I'm so confused but I know it's just anxiety and not real.


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## AnnaGiulia (Feb 4, 2020)

Hey User1234,

I had a lot of hurt and suicide ideation myself, and even now when I am no more DPd, some of these images come back at moments when I am very stressed. I too had one weird experience with the image of my body without organs, when I saw myself as a tiny shadow within the body, and the body was just like inflated skin, dark from the inside, with some orange-hued light coming through thin patches of skin. It was pretty disturbing, tbh.

It is good, though, that you too are aware that these images and sounds are not real.

Take care and see you around,

A.


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## JoshS. (May 16, 2020)

wish you the best of luck for the future thanks.


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