# Over a year of meds (cured a year ago)



## radiocure (Nov 25, 2009)

I would first like to say that it has been a very long time since I've experienced any serious dp/panic attacks and haven't been on this site in forever.

I started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist in about October of 2009, after about three months of severe depression, suicidal thoughts, brief hallucinations, panic attacks, and crippling depersonalization. My anxiety disorder was acid induced, and the depression came on after the panic and a shattering breakup. My life was in shambles, and I couldn't function. I was started on 5mg Celexa (citolapram), and .5 mg Klonopin (clonazepam) for panic attacks.

I tried to go on with my life but spent almost an entire year of school miserable. At about 20 mgs of Celexa, I think I started to notice the fog lifting. I could breathe easier. It is extremely important to note, however, that this is the period during which I was working on my relationship with my ex. My dp lifted after about three months, and my depression went away as I got back together with my ex and reconnected with him and myself.

I have now spent a little over a year medicated (I am currently on 60 mgs Celexa, but very rarely have panic attacks and never take Klonopin) and find myself in a strange situation: I am apathetic and a narcissist (but I make friends with ease). I possess very little empathy anymore, and my relationship with my boyfriend is suffering. My large ego that I had always possessed grew exponentially with my "Well, fuck it," attitude as the meds started to work, to the point where I can barely relate to any of my friends or loved ones. I still love them and try to show it, but I simply can't understand their problems. No matter how much sleep I get, I must nap every day for about three hours, and will still be tired. I used to think I was happy, but I now I think that's just my ego talking. My mind is split in two parts--the highly logical that the meds created, and the emotional that I used to be.

On the plus side, I know that I am not depressed. My dose may simply be too high. It's time for me to get off or change.

Notes: On the off chance that my age is important, I am now 17. I was 15 when dp hit. Celexa, I've found, also has a very cool side-effect: I remember every dream I have, every night. It shortens my REM cycle, causing me to wake up in the middle of a dream period.


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## radiocure (Nov 25, 2009)

That was really long and dull, so I'll sum it up:

Stop being paranoid (I know it's hard. Really, I do.) Calm down. Take a deep breath. If you feel you must medicate, find the right doctor for you and always tell him if something feels wrong. Beware that too high a dose of an antidepressant can cause apathy and sleep problems. And, finally, you must work on your life at the same time, or you will keep putting up the dp defense mechanism.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Congrats! Sounds like you made a pretty decent recovery. I'm surprised that you took breaking up so hard at such a young age. You have your whole life ahead of you to find that "right one". But if it happens again don't take it so badly. Just keep looking ahead...you have lots of time. I know, easier said than done. Good luck.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

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