# I finally don't have dp anymore but..



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

So after spending 3 months in Brazil at john of gods healing center I arrived there completely hopeless, feeling so dead and lifeless but within those 3 months something inside me started to come to life again...I remember sitting down eating food and suddenly the experience just hit me and I felt like I was tasting real food and it was actually registering to me emotionally I felt like I hadent eaten food in 7 years...I also had other awesome moments where I just felt like my energy was back and I was alive.

If I'm going to be honest, I also have hppd and a brain injury from foolishly trying to cure myself from taking Iboga last June! So it's like my dp is gone but my perception & sensory processing is still fuked and I just made a mistake and I totally don't recommend anyone to go down the hallucinogenic plant route!!

Being back I now realize I have so many insecurities and problems underneath the dp and I can't resolve any of them because of the hppd. So I'm feeling extremely frustrated and very stuck atm, I have been told I can be healed in Brazil but will take time for the brain injury. I just felt like venting and sharing with people where I'm at and that I just feel very very frustrated atm


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## dpsucks (Sep 7, 2012)

you got a brain injury from taking iboga??


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Yeah unfortunately  I got so desperate last year I was close to suicide so I decided to take a full flood dose at home with my partner watching and a nurse had to go to hospital for 3 days and it was hell


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

There's nothing any medical profession can do for me. 
I'm getting a qeeg sometime soon but they can't do shit


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

Iboga is fine if you take it with a qualified shamanic provider (they also medically pre-screen you for any disqualifying conditions, such as heart problems). I've done it 4 times, no "brain injuries."

Of course, anyone who takes it without one is taking a major risk.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

missjess said:


> So after spending 3 months in Brazil at john of gods healing center I arrived there completely hopeless, feeling so dead and lifeless but within those 3 months something inside me started to come to life again...I remember sitting down eating food and suddenly the experience just hit me and I felt like I was tasting real food and it was actually registering to me emotionally I felt like I hadent eaten food in 7 years...I also had other awesome moments where I just felt like my energy was back and I was alive.
> 
> If I'm going to be honest, I also have hppd and a brain injury from foolishly trying to cure myself from taking Iboga last June! So it's like my dp is gone but my perception & sensory processing is still fuked and I just made a mistake and I totally don't recommend anyone to go down the hallucinogenic plant route!!
> 
> Being back I now realize I have so many insecurities and problems underneath the dp and I can't resolve any of them because of the hppd. So I'm feeling extremely frustrated and very stuck atm, I have been told I can be healed in Brazil but will take time for the brain injury. I just felt like venting and sharing with people where I'm at and that I just feel very very frustrated atm


Did you do MRI? And please tell me more about you being at the healing center?What did you do there?How did they try to help you . thanks!


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Haumea said:


> Iboga is fine if you take it with a qualified shamanic provider (they also medically pre-screen you for any disqualifying conditions, such as heart problems). I've done it 4 times, no "brain injuries."
> 
> Of course, anyone who takes it without one is taking a major risk.


Not true ...I followed iboga worlds instructions on how much to take and it was way too much for me. I took 2.2 grams ...I know how to take Iboga as I've taken it before but I never managed to go thru with a full flood dose

I found out after on the Eboka forums that iboga world has a habit of telling people to take too much and I rlly wish I could sue them.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Mary1985

I went to see john of god in Brazil, he's a famous healer and many people turn to him when they have nowhere else to go and are on there last legs. He is known to heal people with severe mental disorders, aids, cancer, brain injuries, blood disorder etc but it's not an instant cure or fix, it takes time and sometimes multiple trips. I still need to go again. But the healing you receive there is deep and on a soul level we are talking early childhood wounds, abandonment issues, past lives, trauma and abuse. Kind of perfect for people like us really. If I never went there I would have committed suicide after Iboga use I was really in a hopeless state and a lost case.

John of god restored some hope in me.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

missjess said:


> Mary1985
> 
> I went to see john of god in Brazil, he's a famous healer and many people turn to him when they have nowhere else to go and are on there last legs. He is known to heal people with severe mental disorders, aids, cancer, brain injuries, blood disorder etc but it's not an instant cure or fix, it takes time and sometimes multiple trips. I still need to go again. But the healing you receive there is deep and on a soul level we are talking early childhood wounds, abandonment issues, past lives, trauma and abuse. Kind of perfect for people like us really. If I never went there I would have committed suicide after Iboga use I was really in a hopeless state and a lost case.
> 
> John of god restored some hope in me.


Thanks for answer. As for your brain damage, did you take MRI? It's the only way you can find out if you do have a brain damage.I took a MRI and my brain is ok, thanks God.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

No an MRI doesn't show functional damage only qeeg does plus the damage is chemical injury and again MRI won't show that either unless there are brain lesions.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

If you don't have brain lesion, then it's nothing forever.What do you have?What's wrong with your brain?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

It's a chemical brain and injury and fuk up of my perception, I can't drink alcohol, can't take medication or antibiotics. I think my nmda receptor is fuked up along with many other receptors. But my qeeg should show the areas that r not functioning right


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## Meticulous (Jul 30, 2013)

Everything about this thread makes me feel very sympathetic for you. I'm almost positive you do not have a brain injury. You said you've had no MRI's done or anything of that nature. Also, a faith healer is your way to a cure.. They claim it takes multiple trips, I wonder why? (Money.) If God is so great, why not cure it the first time? Why not end poverty and rid of all cancers and wars? I really do hope you put faith in yourself instead of some fictional character.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I do and an MRI won't show details of perceptual damage I'm getting something that will in a couple of weeks time.

It takes time because the entities can't just heal you like a miracle cure ...it's not magic and john of god doesn't charge any money to heal people at all. THE only thing that sux is paying for my ticket.

I have fuking faith in myself, but I am not going to fuking fix the damage Iboga did to me there is no fuking cure for hppd. I am lucky that it can be fixed actually !


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

I did a MRI and my brain is just fine. Everything is about the emotional part, I just can't emotionally connect to my memories and myself.That's how dp is for me now.


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## Meticulous (Jul 30, 2013)

missjess said:


> I do and an MRI won't show details of perceptual damage I'm getting something that will in a couple of weeks time.
> 
> It takes time because the entities can't just heal you like a miracle cure ...it's not magic and john of god doesn't charge any money to heal people at all. THE only thing that sux is paying for my ticket.
> 
> I have fuking faith in myself, but I am not going to fuking fix the damage Iboga did to me there is no fuking cure for hppd. I am lucky that it can be fixed actually !


People who are confident in their methods won't swear that much to get their point across. Let's tone it down a little.

HPPD fades in time. I'm curious, what makes this John of God so holy anyway? What did he do to inherit his "gift?"


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## Haumea (Jul 11, 2009)

Faith healing is basically mind over matter. It works on the same principle as the placebo effect - if you believe something strongly enough, you can get better. On the other hand, there's the nocebo effect - negative expectations are a self-fulfilling prophecy.

No faith healer can heal you without your faith and desire to get better.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Well regardless on how it worked...it worked for me and I'm sure it will work for many others who are suffering with dp.


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