# URGENT PLEASE HELP



## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

I need to undergo emergency surgery, and I am scared to death I will have a panic attack upon awaking from the surgery, I have bad experiences with marijuana, ecstacy, and any psychadelic or dissociative drug, please help, have any of you with panic, anxiety or DP gone under general anesthetic or morphine, what was your experience, thanks.


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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

I was knocked out for surgery and felt only a groggy feeling coming out of it. It was a feeling like trying to wake up and needing some coffee. I was more nervous before the surgery and anesthesia.

M


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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

Have you had any negative recreational drug experiences, like with pot or xtc or any drug at all wich induced any type of anxiety?


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

Sorry...I have no wonderful story to share with you here, but I can say that gauging from they way you have written this post, that you are practically talking yourself into it.



> and I am scared to death I will have a panic attack upon awaking from the surgery


You will subconsciously create one for yourself if you don't work on some positive images here, (which of course will only make you feel as though your fear of this panic was justified).

I have had moments where I feel a slight fear of the whole painful childbirth (less that 2 1/2 months to go) experience that I am going to go through (and I want to try it naturally without pain relief), but I consciously push those thoughts away and tell myself that I will be fine.

I know it's easier said than done but you should practicing creating images in your head of you waking from the surgery and feeling completely calm. No panic at all.

I have had a dp experience with pot and I have also had pot and been perfectly fine so there is no hard and fast rule. You have much more control over your panic attacks than you realise...sure, external factors may trigger your attacks but your mind controls them.

Ask yourself what the big deal is anyway, if you do have one...so what? It is only a panic attack...you have survived them before and if you do have one, it will pass. 
This is the best way I found to cope with my panic attacks...whenever I felt one coming on I would take deep breaths and say to myself...
"I know what this is...I've had them before and they are no big deal...I am fine". Controlling my breathing really worked for me. I haven't had an attack for a number of months now and I'm not afraid of them anymore.

All the best with your surgery. Take care of yourself.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

You shouldnt have a panic attack when you wake up. You will be so full of benzodiazepines and opiates when you wake up someone sticking a gun in your face probley wouldnt make you panic.

I dunno what they used to knock me out when i had my wisdom teeth removed but i wish i could find some of it lol. I remember before going under that i just started laughing my head off when the doctor gave me the shot.

When i woke up i was feeling pretty nice as well in spite of the blood i was spitting out. I had no panic at all and felt high as a kite and on top of the world.

The drugs they give you during surgery arent at all like the drugs you took and had a bad reaction to. It depends on what type of surgery you are having and the anesthesiologist but usually its a mix of benzodiazepines and opiates. They often use midazolam as the benzo and its a super strong benzo. It will totally crush any anxiety you have.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

willswapforcancer said:


> I need to undergo emergency surgery, and I am scared to death I will have a panic attack upon awaking from the surgery, I have bad experiences with marijuana, ecstacy, and any psychadelic or dissociative drug, please help, have any of you with panic, anxiety or DP gone under general anesthetic or morphine, what was your experience, thanks.


Sorry the surgery is an emergency. My guess is you've already had it.

Two things. Talk openly with an anesthesiologist before surgery. I've had a number of surgeries in my life and was scared to death of the anesthesia. What I hate that made me worse was the pre-op sedation.

I have since said to anesthesiologists and my doctor to not give that to me (and that's just MY experience). Also, every anesthesiologist I've spoken to knows what DP is. They use dissociative drugs all the time.

Ketamine is one. Cocaine was even used on me during sinus surgery (didn't know) -- I think it keeps you from bleeding ... what is that word... locally.

I have told anesthesiologists to watch me like a hawk, give me the least amount of stuff, and no pre-op anesthesia.

*Don't feel funny about discussing DP with these guys, or panic or any of this. I've gotten better bedside manner from dentists/anesthesiologists, even my current GP who understands the integration of mental distress and health issues, than I have from some shrinks and some STUPID psychologists, etc. (Note not all have been bad.)*

Also, yes, anticipation can cause anxiety. Each person is different. Also pain medication after. I've had horrible experiences with Vicodin. So I just don't take it.

Hang in, hope all went well.

And oh joy, I found out I have spinal degeneration (found on an MRI). I swear to God, if surgery is indeed in my future for that, I'll ask for an epidural! I'd rather be awake during heart surgery for God's sake.

Must say however, I'm less afraid of the DP these past two years than I was as a younger woman/girl.

Take Care,
D


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

Here is some more information on 'Chiropractic' services:

Although it has existed for nearly 100 years, the chiropractic health-care system has failed to meet the most fundamental standards applied to medical practices: to clearly define itself and to establish a science-based scope of practice. More disturbing is the fact that chiropractic has made no contribution to the worldwide body of knowledge shared by the health sciences and continues to isolate itself from the mainstream of the health-care community.
...
The word chiropractic literally means "done by hand." The term was adopted by chiropractic's founder, Daniel David Palmer. Palmer was a layman with an intense interest in metaphysical health philosophies such as magnetic healing (Mesmer's "animal magnetism"), phrenology, and spiritualism. In 1895, he claimed to have restored the hearing of a nearly deaf janitor by manipulating the man's spine.

Obsessed with uncovering "the primary cause of disease," Palmer theorized that "95 percent of all disease" was caused by spinal "subluxations" (partial dislocations) and the rest by "luxated bones elsewhere in the body." Palmer speculated that subluxations impinged upon spinal nerves, impeding their function, and that this led to disease. He taught that medical diagnosis was unnecessary, that one need only correct the subluxations to liberate the body's own natural healing forces. He disdained physicians for treating only symptoms, alleging that, in contrast, his system corrected the cause of disease.

Palmer did not employ the term subluxation in its medical sense, but with a metaphysical, pantheistic meaning. He believed that the subluxations interfered with the body's expression, of the "Universal Intelligence" (God), which Palmer dubbed the "Innate Intelligence." (soul, spirit, or spark of life). [9] Palmer's notion of having discovered a way to manipulate metaphysical life force is sometimes referred to as his "biotheology."

http://www.chirobase.org/01General/controversy.html

For patients beyond the first blush of youth the chiropractor does not even have to depend on normal body movement to get his subluxations. Dr. James M. Morris, assistant professor of orthopedic surgery at the University of California Medical Center, says that changes 'in spinal discs "due to degeneration begin at about twenty years of age and increase progressively throughout life."

"After the age of forty," says the Quebec College Brief, "perfectly normal vertebral columns become rapidly rarer. It is unusual after that age to see spines without X-ray evidence of aging, including thinning of the discs and thinning and slipping of articular surfaces.... The longer a man lives the more impressive the radiologic changes in his vertebral column become."

And, of course, even this fails to reach the ultimate question. Where is the proof that these spinal "subluxations," real or imaginary, are pinching nerves? The Brief comments succinctly:

"Over and above all this is the undeniable fact that 'spinography,' i.e., the single X ray of the whole spine on which chiropractors rely, has never demonstrated the pinching of a nerve, since nerves are not visible on X-ray films and can only be demonstrated by the injection of liquid or gaseous contrast media . . .' in many more serious and extensive diseases of the vertebral column, it is necessary to inject into the spinal canal a substance opaque to X ray [a technique which chiropractors do not use] so that a highly trained specialist may achieve an accurate diagnosis of the location of the pathologic process. Chiropractors, with lesser means, claim a greater precision of diagnosis. But here again, no scientific proof supports the claim."

The results obtained by chiropractors through this method of analyzing illness are not scientifically viable.
http://www.chirobase.org/05RB/AYOR/08.h ... OR/08.html

M


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

Coroner's Jury Concludes That Neck
Manipulation Killed Canadian Woman
Stephen Barrett, M.D.
A coroner's jury, which concluded that Lana Dale Lewis of Toronto was killed by a chiropractic neck manipulation, has ruled that her death was "accidental" rather than "natural." On September 1, 1996, six days after manipulation of her upper neck, Lewis was admitted to Queensway General Hospital suffering from a stroke
http://www.chirobase.org/15News/lewis.html

Action for Victims of Chiropractic was started by Chiropractic Victim Mrs Frances S Denoon on the 20th March 2001
http://www.chirovictims.org.uk/

Seeing a chirpracter is dangerous not only because of the potential for harm, but because doing so will delay people from getting help for their problems from scientificaly proven and safety tested procedures, not to mention the harm of misdirecting the patient.

M


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Dreamer said:


> They use dissociative drugs all the time. Ketamine is one. Cocaine was even used on me during sinus surgery (didn't know) -- I think it keeps you from bleeding ... what is that word... locally.


 Ya they use ketamine alot for minor surgeries paticularily in children because it produces much less respiratory depression then most anesthetics. But they usually give you a benzodiazepine along with the ketamine to reduce the dissociative effects. Or atleast you wont remember what you hallucinated about by the time the benzos wear off.

Cocaine is often used for local anesthesia and it helps reduce bleeding as well for some reason. I dunno why coke heads get so many nose bleeds if thats the case.


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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

For Immediate Release

MORE THAN 3000 MEDICAL SPECIALISTS MEETING IN VANCOUVER JUNE 23-26 
FOR WORLD STROKE CONGRESS ASKED TO SUPPORT BAN ON NECK MANIPULATION BY CHIROPRACTORS . . .SOME 300 RECORDED DEATHS AND DEBILITATING INJURIES CAUSED BY PROCEDURE

Vancouver, B.C., June 22/04. - Families Against Abusive Chiropractic Treatments (FAACT) will stage a demonstration tomorrow morning between 7.00 a.m and 9.00 a.m in front of the Vancouver Trade and Convention Centre urging the more than 3000 medical specialists attending the 5th World Stroke Congress to support a ban on neck manipulation procedures by chiropractors.

?Our demonstration will be highly visible to attract the attention of delegates as we intend to have an eight foot high cross bearing the information of the more than 300 people who have died or been seriously injured as a result of chiropractic neck treatments,? said Michael deChamplain, founder of the organization stated. ?We want governments to get off their butt and support a moratorium on the chiropractic procedure and then have an independent scientific review before another person is paralyzed or dies as a result of neck manipulation by chiropractors.?

?Physicians, neurologists, pediatricians and other medical specials around the world have warned the public that neck manipulation is causing everything from mild strokes, to quadriplegia, to death,? he said. ?Even the president of the Canadian Chiropractic Association has been quoted as saying there is a risk of complications associated with neck adjustments.?

Mr. deChamplain says he believes one of the primary reasons governments will not act responsibly is directly related to money.

?The chiropractic associations in Canada and around the world have strong lobby groups who are active in political affairs and provide generous contributions to politicians,? he said. ?As well, chiropractic neck manipulation is a mainstay of chiropractors resulting in millions and millions of dollars, and for them to have to give up this part of their practice would mean a huge financial loss.?

?There are many similarities to the way the chiropractic profession stonewalls any investigations and the public position taken by the tobacco companies in the sixties when they refused to admit any responsibility whatsoever that smoking contributed to respiratory and lung disease, including cancer by using in-house studies and legal maneuvering to avoid any culpability,? the North Vancouver businessman concluded.

http://www.faact.com/news/june222004.html


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

Visits to medical personel outnumber visits to Chiropracters by thousands and thousands to one. In addition, medical personel handle people who already have serious illnesses, and their mistakes are systematecaly studied, unlike any part of the practice of Chiropracters.

People like Renee Descartes and Galileo taught us that claims people make shouldnt be believed without testable evidence. For example, asserting without evidence that aspirin or crossing the street is more dangerous than having ones neck twisted is not a testable claim. Nor is making reference to claims of supposed effectivness rates that haven' t had their backing evidence publicly examined. That's why it matters wether Chiropracting is based on Spiritism or not, which it clearly is. It's the difference between publicly accountable evidence and rosy pictues created by words alone.

The FDA, etc are a part of government, not science. Whatever happens to be right or wrong with government has nothing to do with Spiritual health practices pretending to be Science.

I would argue that it is particularly important for people with dissociative disorders to remain grounded in evidence based reality.

M


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

How do you determine what is true or not in your 'none evidence based' reality? 
Please explain how you know most study results are skewed.
Please explain how if evidence based medicine is supposedly bad, that means that Chiropracting is good.
Why should statements about health practices be believed without evidence?

M


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

```
Holy potatoes guys, lol.<br />
<br />
Firstly, I have to agree with Methuseleh re: all of this, sorry Jeremy.   :shock: <br />
<br />
First of all ... the MRI shows I have spondylosis in the lumbar region.  Osteoarthritis, OH CRAP.  Apparently this is from a messed up foot, as well as years of dance, horseback riding, and sundry other activities.  Also I suppose a predisposition -- at least it isn't rheumatoid -- got the blood test back.<br />
<br />
Man after age 40 your health goes to Hell.  Especially when you're endlessly stressed.<br />
<br />
I am going to a spine clinic.  I spoke with my GP at length.  Surgery is the last resort in my case now, though it was discussed.  Chiropractic is a NO!  I have already worked on a related knee problem at U. of M. MedSport.  Especially with a spine, the wrong twist in the wrong direction can cause damage -- anywhere -- make this worse, much worse.<br />
<br />
Jeremy I may have mentioned I have a cousin-in-law who was a chiropracter herself who received permanent back injury from having chiropractic performed on her (as a learning experience for her by a professional -- a teacher of hers).  <br />
<br />
At any rate.  #1 is physical therapy.  I will be told what NOT to do, as well as do exercises to strengthen the muscles in my back.  Also to relax more.  My stress level adds to tremendous stiffness and muscle pain.  It may be in the future I will need surgery.  Discs may need to be ... I don't know, replaced.  I don't even want to think about it right now.  I have about 20 health problems.<br />
<br />
But, even massage must have its limitations now.  My GP needs me to have the spine M.D. any limitations re: that.  Also, I do Yoga.  There are certain positions I can no longer perform, certain Pilates moves and other sports choices are out though keeping active is critical.<br />
<br />
True any medical procedure can be dangerous.  Both of my parents were doctors.    Even today, you don't want to hang around in a hospital -- many catch something there they didn't come in with and indeed can die.  And I love those Discovery Health shows where surgical clamps, sponges and such are left in people.  OMG. :shock:<br />
<br />
But chiropractic in my case has been discouraged ... now by several doctors ... including the doctor who read the MRI.  You know that's a cool machine.  I don't get it, I will hopefully be able to see the actual images at the spine doc.<br />
<br />
In my situation now ... as they say at the Sports clinic ... you avoid orthopaedic surgery on things like this unless the pain/stiffness limits you so much you can't take it anymore.<br />
<br />
I'm starting w/PT and knowing my limitations.  Exercise is recommended.  Fine with me, lowers my stress level.<br />
<br />
In the meantime ... I digress ... I have an iMAC.  I've always been a PC person (not politically correct, lol, but an XP OS).  <br />
<br />
1.  How the Hell do I close all the windows?<br />
2.  Where is the tutorial?<br />
3.  I manage to get it online and on DSL but can't figure how to navigate and I had a class the other nite, lol.<br />
4.  Time for a break.<br />
<br />
Jeremy, yup w/M on this.  Ah, a doctor friend who has studied Eastern medicine, though trained in Western medicine recommends acupuncture for pain.  He has no faith in chiropractic, and is very open to alternative medicine.  He has found acupuncture effective only in terms of pain management in his patients.  Another option for me.  And some insurance companies are picking that up!<br />
<br />
My insurance won't cover chiropractic either, and my best sport will undoubtedly be swimming.<br />
<br />
The cocaine used in my sinus surgery I believe is to cut OFF circulation.  The nose bleeds easily in surgical procedures I believe.  Cocaine closes off blood vessels.  Long term damage by abusers is I believe caused by cutting OFF the blood supply in the nose and causing damage to the cartilidge sp?<br />
<br />
At any rate, surgery and anesthesia affect us all differently.  I have had negative experiences, but have learned to speak with my surgeon and my anesthesiologist beforehand and to be completely honest.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
D
```


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

Oh man. "Safari" makes posting odd


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

[/hijack]

Ok I just spoke to the surgeon, he was really condescending(dunno if this is the word im looking for, I mean he is really casual thinks my problem is no big deal even though I told him in detail what its like) he knows about depersonalization, but not HPPD wich is simular to my problem (flashbacks only mine only last afew months and are not permenant).
I am cancelling the surgery until I can get a dexamphetamine script, he will not write one cause hes a fucking dipshit, I am really pissed, btw as funny and ironic and unbelievable that it is, I have cancer, before you gasp, The results from blood test and CAT scan(check for spread) came back all normal(no spread of cancer), the cancer I have has a cure rate of 98% I have had the tumor for 3 years so posponing the surgery by afew weeks shouldnt make any difrence.

Now the anesthesiast has given me the list of drugs, I need comments and experiences, do you suffer from DP, DR or flashbacks, and have you had these drugs:

Intravenous:
Propofol (Anesthetic)
Midazolam (Benzo)

Gas/inhaled:
Sevoflurane (Anesthetic)
N2O Nitrous Oxide (aka laughing gas)

To tell you the truth, this DP/DR scares me more then the posability of chemo, even though I most likely will not need chemo(but the past 3 days I thought I would need it)

I need to know if 
1) any1 has had adverse psycological effects from these drugs 
2) if these drugs can be mixed with dextroamphetamine/speed

With cancer the doctors fear for ur life rush u around, help u as much as they can, work over time just for you, they push u infront of cue, break and bend rules to get everything done ASAP, but when it comes to asking for a dexamphetamine script EVEN THOUGH UR JUST DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER they fucking treat u like ur a drug addict that belongs in the loony bin.
I never cried when I found out I had cancer, but I seriously want to cry right now after speaking to the anesthesist. I am not saying cancer isnt scary, its fucking scary as hell, but theres always hope with the cancer I have(98% cure rate) but DP/DR has no fucking treatment and no1 understands it.
I feel really stupid for creating this login name (feel free to laugh or frown in disdain) and I regret it, I thought I was going to die yesterday, yes cancer is worse then DP/DR. But _my particular_ cancer isnt and is curable and treatable and even though 99% of doctors have never come across it, they know wtf it is and they know what to do and they treat you with respect and dignity. where as DP/DR/HPPD is just fucked up and they treat you with ZERO humanity.



Dreamer said:


> What I hate that made me worse was the pre-op sedation.


Was that the IV anesthesia or the Benzo? how did you feel worse?



comfortably numb said:


> I dunno what they used to knock me out when i had my wisdom teeth removed but i wish i could find some of it lol. I remember before going under that i just started laughing my head off when the doctor gave me the shot.


Sounds like N2O

btw surgery is schedualed for tuesday.


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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

Doctor told me I would be crazy to not have the surgery, I just want to get it over and done with, I think the panic people talk about after surgery is caused by vicodin, my anethesist said he wont be using vicodin in my case, and using low doses of the other stuff, tommorow or tonight I am going to take some of my dads xanax for the 1st time as a trial because I am asuming this would be the same as the midazolam only much weaker.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

```
Oh man, I can't figure out "quote" now on this browser.<br />
<br />
Jeremy, you said that X-Rays don't reflect what is going on with the patient.  This is important, and again why I agree with Methusala overall -- truly chiropractic has been equated with massage in terms of temporary relief of pain.<br />
<br />
Acupunture has gone under much more scientific scrutiny.  It is not a "cure all", but is taken more seriously as the scientific method has indeed been applied to it.  I don't know enough details, save for the M.D. I know/knew/friend who actually gave me one session of acupuncture some years ago.<br />
<br />
Anecdotes do not prove anything.<br />
<br />
Also a back X-Ray (radiation) showed nothing of my situation.  The only answer per my GP was an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) -- very different, much more detail.  This is what is dangerous with chiropractic.  I had problems two years ago and the back X-Ray showed nada.  When I started feeling tingling and endless pain the GP (a new one and a better one I have now gave me an Rx for an MRI -- you need a referral for all of that).<br />
<br />
[b]The MRI revealed the damage in detail.  An X-Ray showed nothing.[/b]  Now I hope that shows in bold.<br />
<br />
To [b]willswapforcancer[/b] ... good lord ... sorry to hear this is cancer.  Don't understand how this was missed, but I don't know where it is.  Seems you will do fine.  Don't quite understand why after all this time there was no metasasizing sp? is that a word?<br />
<br />
1.  I am not clear re: your DP onset, but mine was not drug induced, I had it since a child.  Things like alcohol and all sorts of things cause my DP to get worse.<br />
<br />
2.  Everyone is different.  Also, the last surgery I had -- at that time my DP was much worse and I was on different medications.  The pre-op sedation is meant to make you "woozy" and calm you down.  I don't know what they used, but it made my DP horrible.<br />
<br />
3.  Why were you going to take an "upper"? Initially.  Something like that -- including Wellbutrin which has that quality -- also can cause my DP to increase to unbearable levels.<br />
<br />
4.  I am less afraid of surgery these days as the DP is more under control, yet the thought of any "mind altering" drug, terrifies me.<br />
<br />
Good luck with the surgery.<br />
I now have to figure out how to make my printer work.<br />
Take Care,<br />
D
```
[/quote]


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Oh man that totally sucks. I couldnt imagine how i would react to finding out that i had cancer even a very curable one.

As for the drugs propofol is a sedative hypnotic. It doesent appear to have any common adverse effects that a person like you should be worried about. The incidence of weird CNS effects such as hallucinations and delerium are less then 1% so you should have no worries there.

Midazolam is just a very sedating short acting benzo. So no worries there either. If anything it might make your dp/dr better.

Sevoflurane is one drug which i had no knowledge of so i had to look it up. From what ive read the most common CNS side effect is agitation. That happens in 15% of people receieving it alone. But since your going to be getting the midazolam with it you shouldnt have any agitation.

The nitrous oxide is a dissociative anesthetic but bad reactions to it are very uncommon. It usually relaxes the hell out of you. I personally love the shit. I told my dentist to keep cranking the dose up until he said i cant increase the concentration anymore or it will cause brain damage lol. Have you ever had nitrous before? If you did and didnt have a bad reaction to it you should be fine. You should be fine anyway because the midazolam will reduce the dissociative effects.

Also the panic people have after surgery is probley anxiety. Vicodin is just hydrocodone with acetaminophen. Panicing from opiates such as hydrocodone is very rare.

I self medicated my dp/dr with my pain meds for quite awile. I was never on vicodin though but i was on codeine and morphine. Im now on oxycodone( percocet) which helps my pain alot with very few side effects. If you tell me the name of the pain med your doctor is giving you im sure i could tell you what it will do.

The only problem i could see mixing those meds with dextroamphetamine is that it may reduce the sedating effects of those meds. I wouldnt take it on the day of the surgery and id definatly tell the operating docs before hand. They will know how to adjust accordingly.

Why are you set on getting dexedrine anyway for dp/dr? It usually increases peoples anxiety and dp/dr if anything. Doctors are stringy with dexedrine more so then with other ADHD meds because it's more abusable. But it also has less side effects then the other ADHD meds as well.


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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

I get panic from codeine, so I must be a rare case.
I am going to have an epidural.

So far from what the doctors have told me the cancer isnt too bad "at this stage" my CT scan came back clear, and my blood tests all came back normal.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

willswapforcancer said:


> I get panic from codeine, so I must be a rare case.
> I am going to have an epidural.
> 
> So far from what the doctors have told me the cancer isnt too bad "at this stage" my CT scan came back clear, and my blood tests all came back normal.


 I find codeine to be stimulating as well but i find all opiates to be stimulating really. They all make me hyper but it's a good hyper not panicky. Demerol is the only opioid that makes me drowsy but that's kind of on it's own effects wise.

Ive never gotten a panic attack from codeine alone but i have gotten panic attacks from those goddamn tylenol 3's. They have 30mg's of caffiene in them along with the codeine and acetaminophen. I cant take them at all cause they make me shakey as hell. Most of the generic brands have caffiene in them as well.

Some people do get nervous and have panic attacks from opiates. Its rare but it certainly does happen. Everyone reacts differently to different drugs. Hell valium makes some people agitated for godsakes.

But yes an epidural might be the way to go for you. The less drugs affecting your head the less likely it will aggravate your dp/dr.

I could personally never get surgery done with just an epidural and be awake though. I know id freak right out.

But get that surgery done as quick as possible and good luck to you on getting healthy again.


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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

Thanks man, its been abit of a rollercoaster ride the past week but not as stressfull as DP to be honest.
I am pretty sure its dormant cancer or benign, I am buying an ipod today to hopefully use during surgery, I am also gonna buy some nightshades, I watch discovery health a lot and squirm when there cutting through organs and stuff, I even squirm at the thought of having a needle go into my spine, but it obviously wouldnt be as bad as a long term year DP/DR recurance.

My sister has been like a brick wall when it comes to explaining to her what DP is, even though she has had magic mushrooms once before, I was trying to explain to her why I was considering postponing surgery for 2 weeks.

I have the bottle of xanax infront of me now and its 12:20pm, I am going casino later then buying my ipod, so I am not gonna go too hectic, little nibbles


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Ya some tunes would definatly help during surgery. I still wouldnt have the balls to have it done while i was awake though lol.

It's ironic that your cancer is easier to cure then dp/dr. It would be something to laugh at if it wasent so sad. Im one of the lucky few that hit the right cure on the first one i tried. Mine seems to have been totally anxiety based though.

Most people really cant understand what dp/dr is like. Ive tried explaining it to people myself but most just cant get it. Alot of people cant understand any mental illness even one as well known as depression, let alone one as weird as dp/dr.

I personally never found mushrooms to be anything like dp/dr at all. In fact i found them to be the opposite of dp/dr. But it just comes down to your reaction to a paticular drug. I just happen to like psychedelic drugs alot. Alcohol was actually alot like dp/dr for me even though it mellows most people out.

Anyway good luck and dont eat to many of those xanax. You dont want to end up forgetting where you put your ipod lol.


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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

Well, I am pretty sensitive to xanax, I was nibbling on the tablet, its a 0.5mg one, I woulda had about a 10th of it, it mellowed me out, clean high, I could see why people get addicted to it, I would say its almost as addictive as speed, I can see myself on the operating table under about .5mg of xanax not giving a fuck.
I didnt wanna have anymore then the estimated 0.05mg I had, cause I woulda been an idiot to take any more and drive, at the small amount I had, I was excessivly giving way to pedestrians, parking wasnt as acurate, the feeling I would describe is like really really clean alcohol feeling, with more relaxation and no physical sickness.
I was relaxed but still had some social anxiety, it ended up wearing off after 2 hours, as it wore off I was alil anxious, but not DR/DP anxious, more phobia anxious wich is bearable, I felt really "medicated" I went to the casino with some mates, and it was about 6pm and I felt like I had just had a big night on speed, the sorta fuzzyness you get when youve been up for 20 hours on speed and its worn off but ur not tired or scattered yet.
Then the anxiety went, and the scatteredness subsided. I felt alil depressed, the only thing that worries me is aparently the withdrawal effects can last for ages and its the worst psychological side effects out of all the drug classes, so I am just gonna run one more trial tommorow, and hit it up for surgery with my anesthesists blessing(hopefully, otherwise its IV midazolam for me) then thats it, not my type of drug.


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## willswapforcancer (Dec 18, 2005)

OK, last night I was feeling really sleepy earlier then usual, I had a really good sleep, but when I woke up this morning something wasnt right, I am having the same sort of anxiety I had with xtc, although no where near as bad because I only had a little bit of xanax, I will see how I feel tommorow, just had a coffee and it made it alil worse, seems like it did something alil longterm, I might have slightly increased anxiety now for acouple weeks or acouple months. If I dont feel better tommorow I am going to have the operation with just spinal anesthetic and no other drugs.


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## comfortably numb (Mar 6, 2006)

Have you had any benzos besides xanax? Xanax doesent do anything for me either i hate the stuff. It actually made me feel more weird and irritable every time i took it.

Clonazepam has been the best benzo for me by far. It pretty much got rid of my anxiety and dp/dr altogether. I find it's effects to be nothing like xanax really. It also lasts much longer so you dont get the big crash like you do with xanax. The anti-anxiety effects last for me about 10 hours or so depending on the dose.

I wouldnt base your whole benzo experience on just xanax.


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