# i made a mistake



## semicharmedlife (Nov 6, 2014)

So I'm a complete moron and decided to do something I vowed to never do - I took a hit of weed this weekend. I haven't smoked weed in almost 1 1/2 years, not even a single hit after being a "pothead". I decided to get really bad highs, paranoid, anxious, etc. Then I believed that my DP was caused by marijuana.. And now I can confirm this. I attended a birthday party, and had some drinks and was feeling pretty drunk, and decided to take a hit of a bowl that was offered to me. I don't know why I thought this would be a good idea, but I literally pretty much had a panic attack the second after I took the hit. I felt so much more messed up then I was before the hit, like 10 times more. And the room started spinning and I was having a really really hard time breathing. I kept asking the people I was with "can you see me?" and "am I dying?" and put my head down on the table trying to breathe. It eventually passed, and the three people I was around were consoling me. I really thought that I was going to die. It seems so silly to think about now. I felt like such a weirdo after that, but now I remember why I don't want to ever smoke weed ever again. I don't know why I can't even handle one HIT of weed anymore when I used to smoke all the time as a teenager. So, I would advise everybody on here to stay away from weed because it could definitely make your symptoms worse. I was about 85% DP/DR free before this happened, and now I feel like I just kick started it all over again. I haven't felt the same since I smoked.

- On the plus side, I'm not as afraid of my DP/DR as much anymore because I know what it is. But I'm so so so sick of dealing with this.

- I recently started seeing a psychiatrist who knows what DP/DR is, she refers to it as a dissociative disorder. I'm not quite sure if she can help me get over this, but we will see.

Anyways, I guess my main point is suggest that we people who suffer from dissociative disorders, should really lay off of weed. I just feel so stupid for doing this to myself.


----------



## seerelated (Mar 16, 2015)

Ughh I can't even imagine smoking weed at this point. I used to smoke all the time, and love it. Then it became just panic. I used to think my brain was gonna explode in my head, so I'd clutch my head in fear trying not to think about it. I haven't smoked in probably 3 years but I know I would freak the hell out if I did. So I agree, avoid it. Though I also tend to feel a little "weird" when I drink too now. Anything that alters my state of mind, even a sleeping pill or a lack of sleep, makes me feel off.


----------



## sirlee (Mar 5, 2014)

Damn dude. Well hey, at least you learned what you have is normal for you, and now you can tackle it head on!


----------



## DP boy (Mar 20, 2012)

i dont wanna promote weed to people who really shouldn't be smoking it in the first place but if you can learn to master your fear during a weed induced panic attack you can master all panic anytime


----------



## milpool (Nov 4, 2014)

Saw you post a bunch a while ago OP, how was your DP prior to this. Did it really improve to 85%?


----------



## semicharmedlife (Nov 6, 2014)

Yes, I really was about 85% DP free. Then I decided to fuck it all up. I'm hanging in there though! How are your symptons?


----------

