# New to depersonalization. Help?!



## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

Hi there!

I have been suffering anxiety for years but it got really bad within the last eight months. Seven months ago I had a really bad panic attack & it was so bad. A few days later I woke up and everything around me felt strange, I could not put my finger on what it was but my environment did not feel like it normally did, like it didn't feel normal. I felt very "high" and strange, I felt like I was floating all the time. It is really hard to explain but it is like things don't exist and my body feels strange....like I know how to operate it but it's not doing it, like it is someone else, like now I am typing this, I don't feel like it is me doing it, it is like I know how to but I am not doing it....very strange. Had this for seven and a half months now and I am struggling to mentally cope with it. Dr tried me on Zoloft at 100mg but that just made it 10 x worst. I feel like my memories are some what fake and very very very distant almost like it didn't even happen. I feel like my whole life is fake and I don't know who I am at all.

I have suffered derealzation in the past but not depersonalization.

I am worried there is something wrong with my mind. I have very bad headaches in my fontal lobe all the time.

Would love some advice.

Thanks.

Sharon.


----------



## Martin19 (Jan 11, 2018)

Hi reading your post seems so familiar to me I am currently in this hell and it feels like it will never end. Have you had any periods in the past 8 months where things are not so bad or has it just been constant? Its such a scary place to be isnt it. I find it hard to describe to people of how I feel. do you get this? I was diagnosed with ocd I get thoughts like why am I me? Why do we exist? Sometimes like I'm anxious that we exist. It would be good to hear from a few people that have got through this but I suppose people that have got through this will not be coming onto this site they will be out getting on with their lives.


----------



## Dragonz (Jan 6, 2018)

Can it just really be that really bad anxiety caused us to iver think and inner think so much that wr changed our perceptions ourself like a self hypnosis?
If so then stopping it should be just trying to get back into life and trying not to worry about it in the hope that it will lessen and eventually stop?do you get head pressure too?


----------



## Martin19 (Jan 11, 2018)

Hi yes I do get head pressure sometimes and it makes me feel like I'm going mad.
I also can't help but think this will never end it's horrible


----------



## Dragonz (Jan 6, 2018)

I dont think its ever gonna end but i have to rememver both my older brothers had this and got rid of it years ago


----------



## Martin19 (Jan 11, 2018)

What other symptoms do you have thoughts etc. Have you had this for long and is it 24/7 do you get any break from it.how do you cope with work etc.


----------



## Dragonz (Jan 6, 2018)

I was 3 weeks into citalopram when i missed 2 doses.i only started taking a low dose as a pick me up for mild social anxiety and migrane relief.
Didnt know what i was going through but this is when it first happened to me.
Went inti a complete panic stuck in my head state,i kept taking citalopram but i was just stuck like this for 3 weeks.was told to stop citalopram cold turkey by a gp.ended up in hospital for 4 days.while in hospital i had constant extreme anxiety but was back to myself and not in "the zone" anymore.
They put me on mirtazapine and after 4 days sent me back home.i was really anxious but in the real world for 2 and a half weeks when everything started to feel weird.it grew more constant and docs kept telling me to take the meds so here i am 10 weeks later stuck in this "everything feels weird stuck in my head with nothing but negative and suicidal thoughts.i have xanax but xanax does not take this feeling away,it just stops me panicking about it.
I never had a suicidal thought in my life before starting citalopram.
I have told docs every 2 weeks i was getting worse but "keep taking the meds" is all i got.
I have it constantly the last 6 weeks.a couple of times thr bubble did burst but was gone again as soon as i went to sleep.
Im only working as its better to have something to do while going through this than just sitting on my phone going through this.i get a few seconds where im busy in work and can forget i am like this.
Symptums i get are head pressure around my head,nausia,dizzy week.i know ecerything is real but i feel weird so it seems different


----------



## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

Hi. I get very very bad intrusive thoughts, but way worst whilst on zoloft, they are hell, but they're the only thing that helps the anxiety. Its a catch 22. I came off zoloft and my anxiety was so bad I had a panic attack and collapsed twice so I decided to go back on them. I know that this is all anxiety related as it all started after the anxiety and I know it the past my anxiety has manifested. It feels like the world is spinning so fast and I am a robot, I know how to work my body but I am not there, I zone out all the time and depression has set in big time. I have head pressure but also very bad headaches all the time and I guess deep down I am just worried that there is something medically wrong with it, I try to keep telling myself that this is all anxiety related but my anxiety is having a whale of a time with it. I understand depersonalization is not a bad thing, it is just our minds just trying to protect us, and I admit the zoning out does help alot of with the anxiety so that keep me positive. I just want to feel like me again and connect to my environment again.


----------

