# Where do I go from here? -bad and good news spoiler-



## Blake (Aug 10, 2004)

Two nights ago I decided to give up. I will spare the details, as they are not the sunniest reading. However, I did try to end myself. I failed, obviously, and am now safe and sound.

I was ready to end my entire life and now I have it back. I still feel the same depersonalization and derealization, but I am alive. This will be the third night since, and I am stuck somewhere between joy and sadness.

Where do you go from here? How do you start over? How can my family look at me the same?

I realize we have only one life. We have only one chance here.

I have never been at this place before. The horror of that night will always remind me that there is no other option but to live. To grin and bear it. Like someone said on the board, to bash through dp/dr's walls with a stupid smile on my face.

Whether or not you know me or care, I have to post about this. Other than my doctor, noone can relate to how i felt those moments leading up.
Thank you guys for being out there....
Blake


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## Blake (Aug 10, 2004)

Two nights ago I decided to give up. I will spare the details, as they are not the sunniest reading. However, I did try to end myself. I failed, obviously, and am now safe and sound.

I was ready to end my entire life and now I have it back. I still feel the same depersonalization and derealization, but I am alive. This will be the third night since, and I am stuck somewhere between joy and sadness.

Where do you go from here? How do you start over? How can my family look at me the same?

I realize we have only one life. We have only one chance here.

I have never been at this place before. The horror of that night will always remind me that there is no other option but to live. To grin and bear it. Like someone said on the board, to bash through dp/dr's walls with a stupid smile on my face.

Whether or not you know me or care, I have to post about this. Other than my doctor, noone can relate to how i felt those moments leading up.
Thank you guys for being out there....
Blake


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## shadowness (Sep 12, 2004)

i am sure a hell of a lot of people can relate to your feelings and i know it is annoying to hear sometimes...but hang in there!

one day you will not cope anymore...instead you will not have to cope...you will be able to live...how you want to...

everyday...although you may see everyday as a nightmare....it can be a turning point...

everyday gives you a chance to put right your feelings and thoughts...

take care of yourself.

thinking of you


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## shadowness (Sep 12, 2004)

i am sure a hell of a lot of people can relate to your feelings and i know it is annoying to hear sometimes...but hang in there!

one day you will not cope anymore...instead you will not have to cope...you will be able to live...how you want to...

everyday...although you may see everyday as a nightmare....it can be a turning point...

everyday gives you a chance to put right your feelings and thoughts...

take care of yourself.

thinking of you


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## Kerio (Sep 13, 2004)

We're all in this together, no? We have only this one shot in life, so don't let it go to waste, yeah? I've been suffering from chronic DP since I was 13 - the supposedly most memorable and exciting part of my life went by without me even noticing because I didn't realise I _had_ DP. However, so many years with DP have made me adapt to it, and found some good things amidst the bad.

One, because we don't see things like most other people, we're a hell lot more sensitive to feelings and emotions most people don't even realise they feel. We can be, therefore, really nice people when we try to be, or total a-holes if we really don't like someone.

Two, being an "observer", we can look at a problem involving many issues and run them through, and plan things in a faster, more exotic (and efficient) way than most people.

Three, knowing that we're able to detach ourselves from our body gives us no fear. If I fear nothing, why be afraid to live? I may have a second-rate of life, but I still think it's better than no life at all. I've taken up martial arts, and I can kick a$$ because I'm not afraid of getting hit anymore.

So live on, and live well, yeah?  Never give up hope - if you think it's all finished, think of all the things you should do for the people out there who really need help - the disabled, the crippled, the terminally sick people. If all seems bleak and you think there's no point in life, go help these people! Do some good with your life!


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## Kerio (Sep 13, 2004)

We're all in this together, no? We have only this one shot in life, so don't let it go to waste, yeah? I've been suffering from chronic DP since I was 13 - the supposedly most memorable and exciting part of my life went by without me even noticing because I didn't realise I _had_ DP. However, so many years with DP have made me adapt to it, and found some good things amidst the bad.

One, because we don't see things like most other people, we're a hell lot more sensitive to feelings and emotions most people don't even realise they feel. We can be, therefore, really nice people when we try to be, or total a-holes if we really don't like someone.

Two, being an "observer", we can look at a problem involving many issues and run them through, and plan things in a faster, more exotic (and efficient) way than most people.

Three, knowing that we're able to detach ourselves from our body gives us no fear. If I fear nothing, why be afraid to live? I may have a second-rate of life, but I still think it's better than no life at all. I've taken up martial arts, and I can kick a$$ because I'm not afraid of getting hit anymore.

So live on, and live well, yeah?  Never give up hope - if you think it's all finished, think of all the things you should do for the people out there who really need help - the disabled, the crippled, the terminally sick people. If all seems bleak and you think there's no point in life, go help these people! Do some good with your life!


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