# Feeling afraid



## Johqnnq (Mar 14, 2018)

After all of this i have started to feel panicky/afraid of life. Inside i feel so much fear. Its fear of myself. I fear everyday jusr because i cannot connect to myself anymore. I feel so depressed and i am thinking about my past24/7. Those memories are popping in my head. I fear trying because so many times i have gotten dissapointed. I fear how messed up i am and how long this have lasted and i havent done anything. I really dont see way to better. Im in deeep sleep. My brain are porbably so bad that never cant fix them. 
And i cant accept little change anymore. So many times things have gotten littlr better but now i cant take even that first step. Every morning im thinking i cant stand this anymore. I wake up in panic.. And all of my day goes in my panicky mind. Does anyone have anhthing like this... I think i have given up. Im so unwilling to try being better.


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## Johqnnq (Mar 14, 2018)

I cant stand that things are not good than they were times ago. Heres no point to doing anything whem things are like this. I have to get in my past where things were better.


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## Johqnnq (Mar 14, 2018)

And this feeling how far away i am of my life. How hard it is. All the things i should do but im not doing. All the pain lingering here. I cant. This is too much
My memory is gone. And my life is not evem my life anymore.
I dont trust that things will get the way when i feel satisfied


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