# Relapse .... and recovery



## louisedge123 (Jun 17, 2012)

I have posted a couple times on this website but i rarely come on here because it is full of people who worry excessively and are very negative which use to send a surge of adrenalin into my body making my face fluster with heat making me instantly sweaty and nervous every time i read about someone having this for 15 years etc...etc and i'm sure that happens to you !!

There was a time that all this happened.... NOT ANYMORE.

I have literally been through hell this year starting from last year around christmas with a wide variety of symptoms all leading back to my prior drug use.. pretty fucking common ey... who ever said drugs were bad aha. Well this depersonalisation and derealisation thing took me by storm and has gone from being the worst thing i could ever imagine my life to be like to actually being a sort o friend no matter how much i dislike the symptoms.

I'm sure you have read many stories of how to recover ...

The DP/DR Holy grail - I found this pretty use full and it helped a lot .. apart from i did not take the don't do drugs again part right at the bottom of the DON"T DO section right after i recovered the first time lol !!! o the regrets.
A lot of recovery stories people on this website - very help full .. thank you !!

the point is i have recovered around 7 - 8 times now and it has always come down to the fear/worry that has always brought it back.

I am depersonalised right this moment i type this ,i relapsed maybe a week ago but i now completely understand these symptoms and really don't mind having them because i know why they are there. It took me a few relapses to get to this point where i completely understand everything about why i feel like this so DO NOT worry if you relapse it is just another learning curve. trust !!

FEAR AND EXCESSIVE WORRY !! that is all it is !!! your mind needs to chill the fuck out. LET IT !!!

if you feel brain dead let it be make the most of having that numbness because it won't last long !!!
that numb feeling is your bodys way of chilling you out, trust in it and let it be.

The first time round weird to say but i smoked weed and drunk quite a bit of alcohol and still recovered in about 2 months i do not know how i just recovered ... !!

these days i don't touch weed, **** or alcohol because i no it makes anxiety a whole lot more of a problem with this temporary beast.

but any way.... don't pay those symptoms any more mind please !!!!

BY FAR THE MOST HELP FULL THING I HAVE READ .............. http://panicend.com/de.html

JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING TO CURE YOURSELF ... CEASE YOUR EFFORTS TO RID YOURSELF OF IT.

good luck !!!

feel free to ask me anything about it !!

xx


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## thepreem (Sep 9, 2012)

Actually I smoked a cig one night and after i was done with it, my DR was gone. Don't know why, but it came back 3 days later.
Anyways, you're one of the few that post on the forum that is positive for recovery.
I'm happy that you're almost fully recovered, and thanks for the inspiration!


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## Budguy 254 (Oct 30, 2012)

I've been dealing with this shit off & on since I was 23. I will be 51 next month. Stress is definitely a factor, and I think it is genetic(Mom took her life at 46, because she had been dealing with it for years without ever knowing what was wrong with her, and couldnt take it anymore). Just knowing there were others that had it was a big help.Despite all this, I have held down a job(last 21 years @ same company), Raised a few kids, and managed to stay married for 27 years. Life is worth living, and you WILL see the other side. You hit the nail on the head when you said *acceptance is the key*. Thats not to say it's always easy- I've relapsed maybe 5 or 6 times over the last 23 years from days, to weeks to even a couple months.
The sooner you take the bullets out of the gun(stop fighting it), the sooner you recover. I have been in deep for the last 3 weeks.
Thanks for reminding me of that. The link was very helpful too


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

any existential thoughts anyone?


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## xxmdogxx (Jun 26, 2012)

I wouldn't say your one of the only ones on the forums with a positive recovery story its just most people don't know how to squeeze any positivism out of having DP when they have it. Its only when you get a P.H.D in DP.DR do you learn to just be positive and WAIT. BTW not paying any attention to DP won't really cure it, it will help it cure faster but I think that's misleading to say only because there is a certain level of tension that causes DP and if you continue to have that tension you continue to have DP. In other words not paying attention to your symptoms will relieve the tension (the cause of DP) but the tension is the cause not the obsessing over your symptoms. You might think they are one in the same but for me the physical and mental tension is explicitly the cause of symptoms and I've never really had an obsession with thinking about my DP more just a hyper awareness of my stress level. I've found also that people tend to be more positive in email rather than on the forum so anyone wanna chat email me [email protected]


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## louisedge123 (Jun 17, 2012)

EXISTENTIAL THOUGHTS ahaha of course .. it's all part of it .. it's funny now x


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