# where did the old members go



## eclecticsheep (Sep 4, 2005)

since a couple of weaks i have noticed a vanished change in the population
old members don't post
new members post repeatedly
so i wonder
are the old members cured? :?:


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## 1A (Aug 12, 2004)

eclecticsheep said:


> since a couple of weaks i have noticed a vanished change in the population
> old members don't post
> new members post repeatedly
> so i wonder
> are the old members cured? :?:


I've been here since August 2004 and still post quite a bit.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> I've been here since August 2004 and still post quite a bit.


Yeah some of the older members are around but some of the best posters are gone like Janine.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

LOSTONE said:


> > I've been here since August 2004 and still post quite a bit.
> 
> 
> Yeah some of the older members are around but some of the best posters are gone like Janine.


believe me the old members are still visiting but they arnt posting,and probably dont visit as much,its better to slowly withdraw time spent on here i.m.o

reading about your problems on a constant basis isnt healthy unless you can honestly say to yourself that you can handle it ...... i no longer go away from this forum feeling worse about some new post that may of affected me .i just read it and i feel strong enough in mind to make my own judgement.... too much time is spent looking for a pill or supplement that will cure this,when i feel that its only time, cutting out stimulants,exercise and self talk that will cure this


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

I hope it is okay to ask, where did Janine go? Is she still here?

gem.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> I hope it is okay to ask, where did Janine go? Is she still here?


From what I gather, no it is not OK to ask and no she is not here.


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

I am sorry for asking this question. I was not trying to upset anyone, I apologize.

gem.


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## none (Dec 29, 2005)

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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

A lot of the old posters still skim through here now and then. I know when I got better, being on this website thinking about DP was the last place I wanted to be - I would rather be out enjoying life.


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## 1A (Aug 12, 2004)

gem said:


> I am sorry for asking this question. I was not trying to upset anyone, I apologize.
> 
> gem.


No need to apologize Gem. This thread will get controversial in no time.

There is a person here (I won't mention any names) who accused Janine of all sorts of stuff and scared Janine off.

However, interestingly enough, this person, once Janine was gone, didn't bother to fill Janine's shoes. In fact, this person only posted twice all of March -- THE ENTIRE MONTH OF MARCH!!!!

To me that is pathetic. If you're going to scare someone off (Janine) -- someone who was helping a lot of folks, including me, on a DAILY basis, then if you're responsible for scaring that person off, you should, at the very least, stick around and answer questions and comment on a daily basis, just like Janine did.

Because now we have no one even remotely like Janine. This person ruined it for everyone and then has the balls to only show up here and there and post, whereas Janine would post tons of helpful messages pretty much every day.

Never blow off another member here, who is overwhelmingly helpful to others, unless you're prepared to fill their shoes. Otherwise you're just being a self-congratulatory, arrogant fool, seeking to rob others of the very same opportunity that was afforded to you.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

This thread is probably going to be locked now.



> WOW, that was rude, you shouldn't even have to apologize for that gem.


I was not being rude, I was just telling her the truth.

But your right she don't need to apologize to anyone about anything, actually she is the last person that should be apologizing around here.

I love your personality gem, and I hope things are going well at home!


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

yep dont think he was being rude... he just means no its not ok to ask because whenever that question is asked... the thread is locked and its said that she is not here anymore and to drop it... its all rather baffling to me to be honest... :shock:


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

Some people just don't know what's going on.

If you don't know what's going on around here then you should not be telling people that they are being rude anyway. I don't like when new people and people that don't know what's going on say stuff like that to me.

I know that gem already knows how I feel about her anyway.


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

I think a lot of the old members who frequently posted are still visiting the site but are not compelled to post anything. A lot of the stuff people are writing about has been said a thousand times before but it's good for the new members to voice their pain and help each other. When I was at my worst I was posting quite regularly. I now try not to read other peoples' symptoms just to ensure that I don't go back to my old painful thought patterns (or trigger new ones). I'm feeling better these days but still have a way to go before I write a post with 'I'm cured' in the subject line.

These days I just look forward to new posts in the 'That's Life' section which seems to have died in the arse in the last couple of months. I thing I'll have to start some new posts there when I get a chance.

Yes, I agree, I too miss Janine. She helped me tremendously with her fantastic posts; they always gave me hope. For the new comers read Janine's book and search her old posts for help and inspiration.


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## none (Dec 29, 2005)

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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> On a public forum, I assume it is "OK" to ask a question.


Yes that is true except the question about Janine Baker.

Every time the question gets asked, the thread gets locked.

I am surprised this thread is still open.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

I'm assuming just because questioning about Janine creates drama.

I have already stated many times how much I miss Janine, and I really wish I could get in contact with her, just to let her know what a difference she made in my life.

I wish she knew how many people here still talked about her and missed her. She is certainly not coming back here at all though, I have definately set her private messages, as have other people I'm sure and have gotten no response.

No use dwelling I suppose - this entire community (perhaps minus one or two selective people) wishes Janine the best, and we'll have to forge forward without her.


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

I feel the need to speak again regarding this thread. Before I speak I would like to say again that I am truly sorry that I brought up this question. The only reason I asked was out of concern to see if Janine was okay. I will be honest here I have never had a problem that I know of with anyone and I have said many times that everyone here is very kind and caring.

I always look at what can be learned from posts when people disagree with each other and this is what I always belive. We as human beings all have our own unique way. We are individuals and it is a wondeful thing to be able to know that there is only one of you. I try not to put anyone down because in life we all make mistakes. I think this is a good thread, not because it had controversy, because it let each and everyone be able to express how they feel. I believe it is okay to express one's feelings as long as one is not trying to upset another person. This question was asked out of caring, not to upset anyone. That said, all of us here have something to offer in support and I think everyone needs to feel that they are important. All of you here have alot to offer each other in the way of support. I have read many posts and I think you are all a great group of people. We can help each other. If things are not working out for some I understand that everyone will not agree all the time in life. We can look to the future and keep a positive attitude and focus on what really matters. What really matters here is all of you here are important.

Lets move on from the question I asked and know that I believe we are all making a difference here. You are all a great group, and yes there will be days when we may all not agree with what someone says but I think everyone here can agree that the dp/dr site is precious, we are lucky to have this. Thank you revelation for letting us express, sometimes being able to do this helps heal also. What I mean by this is dp/dr can develope from holding in feelings and not being able to express due to fear. If one is able like I mentioned to express but in a nice way then we all learn from it. Thank you all of you for letting me say this.

gem.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

Gem I think that you just made a very good point about some of us not being able to express ourselves due to fear. I can never express myself to my family because of the way they all are. I always have to act like I am someone that I am not, when I am around them and I always have to hide my true self because I know that they don't like the true me. We should all try to get along and work things out on this forum becuase this is the only place that I have ever felt comfertable talking about my true feelings and thoughts about anything. Some people on here always come to mind though when I am posting and I have to hold myself back becuase of these certain people. I don't think that arguments are going to ever disappear but on dpselfhelp we should all try to forgive and forget becuase we all need each other. I have not been able to talk to anyone in a real way for many years but thanks to Mr. Revelation and Dpselfhelp I have found some people here that I am very happy talking to.



> What really matters here is all of you here are important.


That is the view that all human beings should have for each other but sadly many people in this world only care for themselves. The fact that there are so many selfish people in this world is a big part of the reason I usually just hide most of my true self. Usually when you open up to people all you do is open yourself to attack and to being hurt. I am a pretty sensitive person although I usually hide that fact. I am sensitive because I care about people but for some reason in this world that is viewed as a weekness and when people see that you actually care then all they want to do is go into attack mode. I think that we should all try to help each other out around here because we are all pretty sensitive people here on dpselfhelp.

I think that all sensitive people have it very hard in this world because the world is against sensitive people and that is a big part of the reason we are all messed up. I am very glad that I have at least found a few people that seem to be like me becuase I spent most of my life feeling totally alone in this world but now that I have found this website I don't feel so alone anymore becuase I have found other people that understand my ways of thinking and people that understand my pain in living in this evil world. Whatever reason Janine is gone does not really matter, all that matters is that we try to remember some of the things that she said here becuase she had a lot of good advice. I just really wish that many of the older members would post more often so that the newer people would be able to learn more about DP/DR. I have been trying to share what I know about DP/DR but I know very little compaired to many other people on here that don't seem to be posting very much anymore. I wish I could write posts like some of the ones Janine has posted because I have the time on my hands to make these posts right now. I just don't really know how to word things as well as Janine and others can so all I can say is that there is a cure and that cure is acceptance. I just hope that everyone on here is able to find a cure for themselves becuase DP/DR can be the worst form of hell imagenable and I wish that nobody would ever have to go through what I have been through in my life. If there was one illness that I would want to go away in this world then it would be DP/DR. I really do believe there is no form of pain that is more painful and that includes burning in fire. I hope and pray that all the people out there with DP/DR get better very soon.


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

As far as the old folks go 8) , I am one, and I'm also 47. Reasons for not posting as much for me:

1. Difficulty answering same questions over and over. That may sound selfish, and I understand the need for immediate answers from newbies, but I started out as a newbie on this forum's original incarnation back in May of 1999 -- Andy C.'s DP Forum.

2. I'm trying to get on with my life, though I am not cured. I am better, but I am just one class of person w/DP -- trauma induced/genetic propensity who happens to have a chronic case. I have knowledge to offer, but a lot of people take my story as hopeless.

3. I made a site about my whole experience w/DP and anxiety/depression. It is still up there with everything from a description of my DP, my life, coping tips, etc., etc. Links. I can no longer answer emails from there either. I'd be spending my whole life doing that.

http://www.dreamchild.net "Living With Chronic Depersonalization"

People who come here have various forms of DP onset. Some find relief quickly, some in fits and starts, others go into remission and it comes back, and some of us have a chronic case.

Leaving this site for any period of time implies nothing other than the person needs a break, needs to get on with life, has answered many questions and can't keep doing that, may be cured, may not be cured.

Such is the nature of the internet. A great place, and a lonely place.

This is still a great forum, and people will always come and go. This is true of every forum I've ever been a member of including the Internet Movie Database, lol, though there is no comparison. Health forums as well.

Best,
D


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

Lostone,

I am very proud of you. You spoke without fear. You wrote that post with confidence and without fear. That is what it is all about. No one should ever feel afraid to speak out of fear. It is okay to express with kindness.

It is important to remember that there is more than one person here that can be very helpful with lots to offer in regards to this illness. You yourself give wonderful advice and show kindness and respect to others. My post was written to show that we all can give here. We are all capable of helping one another because we live it. You do not have to write a book to be able to help your fellow man that is the point I am trying to express. We do not have to show anger to get a point across, yes I agree with you some people do express anger at times but if they really think about what the anger is all about they will find that it has nothing to do with people here. In life one learns how to deal with differences of opinion, this comes with maturity. We have all done things or said things we wish we could change but we learned from it and moved on. This site is the perfect place to learn, to understand, to help and most of all to grow.

We all are suffering with this horrible illness but the positive thing about it is people like yourself are learning to heal, do not be afraid to speak and believe in who you are. You are a good person and it is okay to be you.

gem.


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

I believe that this thread has now worked into something very positive. It is showing that no matter how many times you come here and you express yourself, even if it is something that has already been said before others will respect how you feel and give support. This is a wonderful site and in this thread we also learn that problems can be worked through by letting others feel they are important.

gem.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> You are a good person and it is okay to be you.


For many years I would have argued with you about that but not anymore.

We are all sinners and in some ways we are all evil but what really matters is if we try to be better then we are. We were all born with imperfection but as long as we all try to be the best we can be then there is no reason to beat ourselves up over our own imperfection. Realizing this fact was very important for me because you can't ever feel good about anything if your allways beating yourself up. We all can be good but we all need to put in the effort because if we don't then it is more likely that we will become very selfishly minded.



> You do not have to write a book to be able to help your fellow man that is the point I am trying to express.


That is very true and actually some of the most important things that I have learned about life have come from people that were either homless or locked up in a mental institution! I used to talk to homless people quite a bit because when I lived in Hawaii around many homless people I noticed that many of them were actually very happy people! I learned the value of life not from the smartest and greatest of the humans on earth but I learned the value of life from the "homless" and "insane" amongst us. I don't know why so many people like to look down on people as if they are somehow a lower lifeform or something becuase some of these "lower lifeforms" are the people that we can best learn from. As you said Gem, there is something to learn from everyone and usually you can learn more from those you would least expect any knowledge from then you would from anyone else. DP/DR has given me a great gift called humility and I am very, very glad that I have that now because being humble about things has tought me a great deal about what it means to be a human being. I think that you are very humble yourself Gem and I am glad to see that trait in you  .


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## Guest (Apr 6, 2006)

I guess I might be considered a old reader--I posted only about two times a few years ago. I didn't have much confidence to post in the past. I turned 50 this past September and I have lived with this illness since I was 15. I didn't discover what it was until 2000 when I came across a dp forum. I have kept my illness a secret from everyone except my sister--I told her in 2001, but we rarely discuss it. I haven't even shared it with my husband 0f 24 years. A few years ago I read the posts several times a week--sometimes it was helpful--just knowing there are other people out there like me. I had to stop reading so often because over time I became depressed and focused too much on the illness. I stopped dwelling on my sypmtoms and since that time I have been able to go through long periods of time without being obssesed with finding a cure. About once or twice every few months I check the posts to see if there are any new developments--as far as new meds, etc. I wonder how many people out there read the posts but seldom reply. By the way--at first tried several anti-depressants and other meds--nothing seemed to improve the symptoms--I haven't taken any meds since 2003. I don't really know what lead me to finally express myself, but I hope this helps someone in some way.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

I'm cured -- or so it seems!

I do hope Janine comes back sometime. I found her contributions valuable, and I found the issue surrounding her departure to be most unfortunate.

I haven't been here in ages, and it's good to see some of the folks who were here before. I've stated my current situation in another thread, so I won't repeat it here.


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## orangeaid (Jun 24, 2005)

soj. what did you do to get better? and how better are you?

I have left the forums since late fall. I went on paxil started to feel much better with my anxiety and I have been trying to make it on my own.

Since Jan. I have been going to college and it has been pretty fun, lots of fun. I feel better from DP/DR but I dont think I am cured.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

I got in touch with the real cause of my fear. That is what will heal everyone.

And yes, I believe this is a complete cure, because I have had many opportunities to get anxious and it hasn't happened. I appear to be able to handle my life. My BDD has virtually disappeared, too.

Oh, and I feel GOOD!


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

I'm still around every now and then. I don't come on as much as before because I know what is wrong with me, I know there is someone on this site who can relate to every symptom I have or may develop, and the same post topics are created over and over again.


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## Da'Burgh (Apr 25, 2005)

Hey guys, I'm still around every so often. Can't say I'm a seasoned vet around here but I've been fighting this for over a year now. DP/DR has gotten so much better after I stopped dwelling on it and taking control of panicky situations. Pretty much I just accepted this. Once you do that it slowly fades.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I think you can exhaust all the possibilities of what causes your DP and eventually come to your own conclusion about your own unique case, and the need to read every new post diminishes.

Even when you feel really bad with DP, when you have come to terms with your own version of it, those posts do seem repetitive and self destructive even. I often want to reach out to those people, and tell them what I've learnt, but I find it hard to put it into words. The person who helped me the most, who contributed to my own recovery no longer posts, but those posts are still there to be read, and worthwhile going over.

I'll stick around as long as I can, I feel I owe something to this place and the people are fab


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i must admit that my time spent on here isnt a 'need' anymore,i still have the odd bad day and its good to come here and vent,but to be honest my main reason for still visiting is also the fact that i feel i should give something back..........someone was there for me so i feel that if i can help in anyway possible then i will stick around for a while,we all pass the torch on at some point


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## 1A (Aug 12, 2004)

Da said:


> Hey guys, I'm still around every so often. Can't say I'm a seasoned vet around here but I've been fighting this for over a year now. DP/DR has gotten so much better after I stopped dwelling on it and taking control of panicky situations. Pretty much I just accepted this. Once you do that it slowly fades.


If you have bad days, ask yourself whether you're fighting or accepting. In your first sentence above you said you've been fighting this for over a year. In your second to last sentence you said you just accepted it.

Acceptance and fighting are kind of polar opposites. I agree that acceptance is the only way out.

Good luck to you, going forward. Sounds like you're on the right path.

Jeff


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> Acceptance and fighting are kind of polar opposites. I agree that acceptance is the only way out.


That's true but I am finding that it takes a fight to be able to totally Accept this. It takes time I think.


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

i have been a member on here for a little longer than a year and i definately used to post a whole lot more but as has been stated by gfunk, i have found what causes my dpdr and i have come to peace with it a little more. it was nice to post and get responses back when i first discovered what i had, but now i don't need it as much anymore. i used to try to help people with information too, but i just started getting tired of saying the same things over and over (and i'm sure people got sick of hearing them too! :lol: ).


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> i used to try to help people with information too, but i just started getting tired of saying the same things over and over (and i'm sure people got sick of hearing them too! ).


What is really bad is when new people get on here and argue with you about things.

It makes me want to leave.

I will be gone soon anyway.


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## Sojourner (May 21, 2005)

Give the newbies a little slack, lostone, okay?

And where are you going?

I agree with the statement that we have to each find our own way. I think that this thread will be one that encourages the new folks here and lets them know that there are quite a few people who've been here more than a year and who have managed to find their way through this.

I want to shout to a newbie who cries, "I'm scared!": OKAY, *be* scared. But don't be scared of being scared. Be scared and then go do something else that you like better than being scared!"

I know; shaddup already.


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## LOSTONE (Jul 9, 2005)

> Give the newbies a little slack, lostone, okay?


Yeah I try to, I'm just saying that they make me want to leave sometimes.

Expecially when all I am trying to do is help.

Sojourner I am moving to Hawaii and I will not have time for this place when I move. I should already be out there but some things happened that kept me around for a while longer. I think I will be happy to get away from this place anyway. The only reason I spend a lot of time here now is becuase I have a lot of time on my hands right now.


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## nicon (Aug 19, 2004)

I am still here, was a member of Andy C original board. To be honest not sure where people go, just move on I guess, sometimes come back, not use the board as much etc etc.


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## Allure (Jul 26, 2005)

I was an old member, from 2003. I had a baby and I felt bad after (dp/dr). I used to be called Allure...

So am I, I feel much better than 2003!!! I can't compare. I tapered Paxil, thought it helped a bit for stress I realized it made derealization and confusion much worse!!!! It's just after I tapered that I realized that.

I now work 40 hours a week, as a proofreader for a psychologist firm and I plan to have another baby, despite the fact that I am not 100 % healed. I am better and I don't want dp/dr to rule my life.

Right now I am taking sleep pill; it helps me each time I got a panic, and sometimes clonazepam. But I do want to stop (I try!!!) for pregnancy. It will be the hardest part.

I think that working and thinking about something else does help a lot. I used to be more derealized in the week-end, where I got no schedule, and outside, where I stand before a paysage. I don't know why, but hey, it's like that for now.

I hope people will heal from this. I miss old people too.

Wish you all good luck.

Jen a.k.a Allure


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

It seems a lot of the old members are still around, reading the board but not posting as much.

Good to see some old names that haven't posted during the last few months.


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## Monkeydust (Jan 12, 2005)

Still around. I don't really have DP anymore, not feeling too bad, doing much more with my life than I was at the time I had it or even before.

Janine won't be coming back, for various reasons. Hang on in there people. It does get better.


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## ShyTiger (Apr 1, 2005)

g i love ur avatar!!!! I no longer have dp but do drop in to read posts every now and again or visit the chat room to see who's in. Dont really post, i think because usually its a fly by visit.


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## jft (Jan 10, 2005)

I see revelation is working on a better, new recovery stories section. I think everyone here would appreciate the many old timers on this thread and elsewhere that are posting stating they are recovered,, if they would post their recovery story in the new section as well. . I know I would appreciate it. Convince us you old timers that there is hope here, please? Make it one last post if you must, your swan song of sorts. Detailed as to what helped, how your dp/dr started and how you experienced it. This is the one thing this board lacks, a full battery of good convincing stories by folks like you. The reason I ask for it is because I am so far not "convinced" of my own hope by what I have read previously in the other regaining reality section.. Thirty years of suffering makes me a natural doubter I guess, along with the description of this malady being "very treatment resistant" by Simeon. I need some data. I need to know how you folks did it. Thanks much. 
jft


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