# After 14 months feeling almost 100% recovered (or at least closer than ever)



## dude (Dec 5, 2012)

Hi, i got dr/dp on september last year. I never felt so good since i got it and i belive i am getting cured. It feels as close to 100% recovered as never before...heck it feels like 100% with a missing edge.

So here ´s my story.

Im in my mid 20s. I always was an anxious person and i suffered from social anxiety most of my life and i still do. I accepted sad as a part of me and im taking efforts to overcome it. It was a pretty rough year before i got dr/dp. I was bullied at work, lost a job i was having problem with self confidence and anxiety. I tried to escape with drinking alcohol. It worked for some time and then i soon felt guilty and unworthy for drinking so much (getting basically drunk 4-6 times per week for at least a year). I never took drugs in my life. I mean everybody takes drugs just not illegal =)

So one day it happened. I decided to smoke weed. The first time i smoked it i took 3 hits and i felt nothing. I was a little dizzy and thats it. So i decided to smoke again after a week. I took 3 hits again (i know its too much, but i didn´t know that at a time). And soon started feeling effects. Dizzyness, dry mouth, faster heart beat. I was talking with my my gf and started laughing uncontrollably. Then i started thinking. I was thinking about my problems and i was thinking about them more and more but with a different point of view. I later found out this helped me understand some of my problems because i never saw them from this point of view. I was thinking more and more until it felt like my mind is gonna explode from all of the thinking and worrying. And then all of a sudden i felt what i never felt before. I told my gf..it feels like all this is happening but not really happening. Everything i said or was saying felt like it happend 2 seconds before. It felt like a was trapped in a bubble (derealization). I was still getting higher and soon my heart would start to race. I knew it was because of weed. But still i developed a massive panic attack. My first one. For an hour i was thinking like a maniac, felt extremely scared, my heart was beating so fast and hard that i felt it in my throat. Everything i heard, felt was having a second meaning. I was having a panic attack and it was without a doubt the most scary thing i have ever experienced and i went trough a lot of shit (as a lot of people do). I nearly blacked out so i decided to lay on my bed and wait.

After 3 hours my high went away. I was happy the high was over but i felt confused for the next 2 days and even paranoid after that for a week. Then i was 100% back to normal.

Then 3 weeks later (being normal whole 3 weeks) i started thinking at work how i felt while i was high. I tried to imagine how it felt and it gave me a smile how stupid that was. But then all of a sudden..BAM i got derealized. I barely made it through the work and on my way home i called my gf. I told her what i was feeling. It felt like i (who is talking to my gf) was in a dream and i was talking to my gf who is in reality. I knew this feeling was wrong. I mean how can you call from a dream to reality right? =)

After 10 days of hell it went away. I was normal for 2 weeks. And then it returned. Again at work if i remember correctly. I came home and everthyng seemed unreal. I looked outside and it felt unreal and dreamy. I looked at a sofa and it felt there but not really there. Everything felt like this. Later when i went to sleep i broke down and stared crying like a baby. I was thinking...i went trough a lot of shit and never gave up but this, how can i live with this, now im really gonna have to kill my self. I won´t be able to work and pay my bills, i will be a burden to my familly, gf and others and i thought what if i loose my mind. What if i do something to myself now...what if i do so something to others... what if, what if, what if...
I started researching and soon found out this is derealization and that it can last for weeks, months, even years. I was so scared.
Soon i disovered its only anxiety. After spending much time trying to inform myself about this i decided to accept this feeling and give it a ride and live it. Common bitch lets ride, right? :slaponaderealizationsass: =)
So i kinda accepted this feeling but i was feeling like this for the next 3-4 months. It was pure hell. After a mont in this i also developed depersonalization. I looked at my arm and it didn´t look mine. When i was laying in bed it felt like there is someones arm besides me, but it was mine. When i looked myself in the mirror it felt like the one who is in a mirror is looking at me. Scarry, but in a way i saw how i am seen by others. Soon after developing depersonalization i started having anxiety attacks. I couldn´t relax. I was waking in the midle of a night, woke up by anxiety attack. I ran to the window to get some fresh air.I mean it wasnt really a panic attack like i was high, but it was very near it...it could easily developed into panic attack if i wouldn´t successfully somehow calmed myself down. I had this multiple times a day for the next 3 months with a periods of feeling better for a week or a few days.
Then i lost lost my job again because my performance was suffering from all of this. In a way i was happy because i could now concentrate on getting better. And i have gotten better! I started feeling better in january. Dr/dp got a little better and my anxiety attacks almost disappeared. Then in may i felt even better. 70%. And then on August i was like at least 90%, then it slowly went to 95%. I was feeling better and better .But it didn´t always get better. My progress was 2 steps forward and 1.5 step backwards if you know what i mean. I got better and then had a setback. But when this setback was over i was felling better then i was before i got a setback. So this is how got to this point. I just tried to be positive and knowing that i will be feeling better when the setback is over. But all this time, i had problems with concentration, i was confused, i couldn´t remember stuff, i couldn´t learn as fast and my short term memory wasn´t good either. It still isnt. I still am a little confused and i forget stuff or i forget what i was just saying. It sucks. Hopefully it will get better soon. Well im sure it will get better.
So now, 14 months later im feeling really good. It feels like 100% with a missing edge. I hope it will get even better and that it will stay 100%. I hope it was just an experience. I know i will get another setback. Im ready for it. Because i know i will only feel better afterwards when the setback is over.
I have grown as a person also because of this. Now i learned that it´s just not worth to worry about certain things. I understand me and others better now. I got closer to God. Im 100% sure Jesus cured me. I love him so much and i can´t say how thankful i am. It never seize to amaze me how much he loves me even though i sin so much (i try not to). His love is the best thing you can feel. He obviously forgives me for sinning so much so i try to and forgive others who made and try to make my life hell. I say it everyday and ill say it again..thank you Jesus!
So here is my advice for all of you who just got dr/dp or have it for some time.
-It´s just anxiety. You wont go insane because of it. Accept this feeling. Ignoring =/= accepting. Just live it and it will get better and go away. It is just a severe temporary anxiety caused by stress, trauma, drugs so your mind just go to dr/dp to protect you from feeling that emotional stress again. Im sure you already noticed that you just don´t worry about everyday problems when you have dr/dp. They seem irrelevant. And they are actually, most of them. Don´t worry.
- Give yourself a few days or maybe a week to educate yourself about dr/dp. Read,read,read,...Then stop reading about it. Try not to visit forums. Occasionally read a success story. Remember you already know everything about dr/dp since you educated yourself about it.
-I didn´t took much supplements. I was taking fish oil for some time. Omega 3 is known as a brain food so it might help. Try hemp oil also,it is supposed to be even better than fish oil. Just google it. I just ordered my first bottle =)
- Exercise.
-Dont do drugs! I don´t suggest prescribed drugs for depression and such also since people get dr/dp from these also.
- Try not to play games. Try not to be in a virtual word. Everytime i played games for some time while i had a dr/dp it later confused my reality and it made stuff look unreal. For an example when i was walking outside car looked like it is from a good graphics game lol. And those feeling returned. Just be in reality, i´d avoid games.
- Id also suggest to confess to Jesus and invite him into your heart, accept him as a personal savior. Say something like Dear Jesus,I admit that I am a sinner deserving of Hell. I believe that you died, were buried and rose again. Please forgive me of my sins and take me to Heaven when I die. I now believe upon You alone, apart from all self-righteous works and religion, as my personal Savior. Thank you. Amen. Trust him. Pray.
http://www.creationtips.com/saved.html

Im sorry for a long post and for my bad english. I tried my best =)
So this is how i got it and got better.I hope it will help someone since i know how much it helped me reading recovery stories. I will also be updating this thread about every improvement and setback that might happen.


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## timzie (Sep 28, 2012)

thanks for sharing...


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## dude (Dec 5, 2012)

Well it might not be much but it wasnt mixed with tobacco or anything just pure weed. It was my first time so it hit me hard. Well my second i didn´t feel anything first time i tried. I never touched the stuff ever since and i dont intend to. I always was an anxious person and this made my anxiety 10 times worse. Im better now.

Im sorry to hear that. How´s your recovery?


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## xxmdogxx (Jun 26, 2012)

dude great story but you lost me at jesus I put my faith in Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins respectively


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## DP boy (Mar 20, 2012)

how bout harris harrington hes my god


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## DP boy (Mar 20, 2012)

jk


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## peanut butter (Nov 9, 2012)

Stopped reading after the jesus part.


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## trina (Nov 29, 2012)

Did you lose your emotions ? If so did they come back as well?


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