# How did recovery happen for you?



## Arianna (Mar 9, 2012)

So I'm still not convinced that I'll ever recover from DPD. Which is partly why I've come here, to talk to people who actually have recovered. So two questions..
1) How much would you say you have recovered? 100% (As in your back to normal) Or some other percent, and if its not 100% what symptoms still remain and how does it effect you?

2) How did it happen? Did you just wake up one day and feel bad to normal or was it a process of improving over a few months or years?

Thanks everyone!


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

hey arianna... well.. its been 2 n half years of debilitating anxiety for me... it has gotten better.. there was a time where i cudnt feel anything. and i felt like i was ''gone'' like really.. its more of an up and down process.... where little emotions start to return... and u start ignoring the weird feeling as much as possible... im still not bak to normal.. but i would have some months where i feel relatively normal... never 100 percent but happy enough and coping.. then sum months like now where i am in s state.. ya see when ur feelings come bak so does the anxiety.. (cos thats wat the dp was protecting u from .. ) or depression... so now all my feelings are bak and i am workin thru em in therepy... its scarey. and because these feelings make me feel uncomfortable.. the dp/dr steps in.. i am now left with no identity (sometimes its there ) and severe existential thoughts... such as who am i , why do i exist, why is life the way it is.. and they make my anxisty hit the roof.... im hoping tho as i start to bring up all these feelings that make me anxious. the dp/dr that remains will fade.... understand? and feel free to tell me about ur experience hun xxx


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## SundaySeance (Mar 6, 2012)

Arianna said:


> So I'm still not convinced that I'll ever recover from DPD. Which is partly why I've come here, to talk to people who actually have recovered. So two questions..
> 1) How much would you say you have recovered? 100% (As in your back to normal) Or some other percent, and if its not 100% what symptoms still remain and how does it effect you?
> 
> 2) How did it happen? Did you just wake up one day and feel bad to normal or was it a process of improving over a few months or years?
> ...


The first time I was cured it was in a matter of days, maybe 2 days (tops). Since it's come back it's been getting worse daily, but over the past week I've been feeling significantly better.

I dont think youll get too many replies, since if you're cured, you're probably not going to this forum. However, keep in mind, and always remind yourself - "this feeling will pass and ill feel better shortly". It may feel like a lie, but it's not. You will.


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## brianjones (Sep 14, 2011)

Well...

There's no such thing as 'recovery'.

What you should be saying is 'how do people re-orientate themselves with existence after having an encounter with existence?'

This is something very personal, and in my recovery story I made it very clear that I wasn't offering a 'way out', so to speak. There no solution that will help everyone.

I think the key aspect is perseverance. Because it is very clear we don't have depression? Our depression is connected with a 'distancing' that somehow occurs.

Just keep persevering and use alcohol.


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## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

Didn't happen. But smoking weed again (I know, I know...) has helped more than any pharmaceutical drug that I've taken. I started recently, and while it hasn't "cured" me. I feel more like myself than I have in well over a year. It had literally helped with just about EVERY of my most distressing symptoms


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

My recovery story is much like Simon's in that it happened in just a few days- went from 100% DP to 0% DP. This is my story...

I recovered 100% COMPLETELY from dp/dr in April 2011. I went to a psychiatric hospital on March 28, and was there for a week. On the 4th day, I was sitting on my bed very depressed when I decided that I wanted to go wash my hands in the bathroom. I don't know what happened...I don't know what triggered it, but I SWEAR to you...all of a sudden, I felt like something purged out of my soul. If you have ever seen the movie Freaky Friday with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis, it is kind of like that earthquake scene where they get back inside their own bodies. It was a remarkable, astonishing, and truly indescribable moment. I felt like something came out of my soul. I looked around and sure enough, my DR was gone. GONE. I could see everything clearly. That veil/transparent sheet that had remained in front of me had gone away completely. And my body...it felt so light. Not this heavy sensation that I used to get. I felt euphoric, I felt peaceful, I felt GRATEFUL. I felt like God had finally answered my prayers.

The next morning, (Saturday), I reported to my doctor that my DP of 14 months had completely gone away and if it was possible to go home that day as I felt fine enough to leave. He said it would not be a good idea to leave right away because he said it was important for my mind to get used to that ''safe'' feeling I had achieved and to let my body get adjusted to this new state. So I stayed till Monday.

The day I left the hospital and came home, I decided to go for a walk in the park. I kid you not, as I began walking, I noticed just how bright and beautiful everything looked around me. How vibrant and full of life I felt. The world looked like a lollipop and I just wanted to taste it!

Again, I was so thankful to have come back to ''reality'' and really started believing in God once again. I wanted to get a tattoo of a representation of Him on my arm to remind me that He is always there. I began functioning again like a normal person (showering, leaving the house, etc).

Here is the very sad part, but I feel like if I have shared all this so far, I have to be honest:

About 3 weeks after I had recovered, I noticed that I began feeling like a ''Mindless Drone.'' There is no better way to describe it other than that. I was feeling very robotic and slightly depressed, but I kind of shrugged it away. Several days later, I noticed that I began experiencing very severe out of body sensations. Like I had totally left my body. At this point I was very alarmed and knew that something was wrong. Long story short, things kept getting worse and worse, and I totally relapsed again. When my DP/DR first started, I began with really terrible DP. I had never experienced anything like it. I wanted to commit suicide it was so bad, and after seeing my pain and agony, my psychiatrist decided to prescribe me Risperdal to keep me from going completely nuts.

I know this is not one of those ''happily ever after'' stories although I so desprately wish it was. I believe that the 3 biggest contributing factors to my recovery were:

1. I felt safe (on the inside).
2. Things seemed non-threatening in regards to my OCD symptoms. My OCD actually improved a LOT while I was at the hospital. I was spending much less time performing my rituals.
3. My heart felt at peace and contentment.

I know most recovery stories don't happen in the fashion that mine did, but I felt it was necessary to share my story.

Oh! And after I recovered and came back from the hospital, I did not come back to this site. In fact, I didn't return till about July of this year. I just felt no need to come back on and the site didn't interest me anymore.

If anyone has any further questions about my recovery, please don't hesitate to ask.

At this point, I don't know what made me relapse or what triggered me back into this horrible state, and I don't know if I will recover any time soon, but I am thankful, that for 3 weeks, I lived in complete happiness. I think I deserved it.

That is all for now.


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## stuckinbetween (Feb 17, 2012)

I first experienced DR almost 5 years ago when I smoked weed, I freaked out that night because I was so high and went to bed thinking I will be fine the next day, well when I woke up I still felt very weird like the high never left me. I began to worry about it a bit, trying to find something on the internet, and found that many people in fact experienced these kinds of anxiety/panic attacks specially if they are not accustomed to smoking weed. Anyhow, it lasted for 5-7 days, but over days I sort of just kept on living my life and it went away completely I didnt even notice it and had completely forgotten about it, literally it just faded away on its own. Now 4 years later, after living a completely awesome life, school, job, traveling, gfs, great lifestyle, friends, due to intense stresses that I was experiencing for over a month I got this again, and only this time I was again reminded that this dpdr shit even exists, very odd, cuz only now after having this episode again was I reminded how it felt like 5 years ago.


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## sunflowersteve (Apr 24, 2012)

well the first time this happened it lasted for about 3 days, and i got over it by just saying to myself that i was still high and it would go away (i honestly think that by me accepting that i have some sort of disorder my mind is making it last) , and that i could still function normally. and i just went on with my life and it faded away! then the SECOND time it happened it again only lasted for about a weekend. and i just ignored it once again and did the things i normally did and once again it faded. but i had a rough week full of panic attacks and DP and i started THINKING and WORRYING about it and it just stuck with me. i admit i have good weeks and bad weeks and i actually had a really good period where i just stopped worrying about it but i thought about it again and it came back. anyways i believe that i can "recover" again but i need to do all the right things. and one is to stop coming here i think.


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## S.Snake (Jul 21, 2010)

I got DP in Summer 2010 when I had experienced anxiety overload in my system from smoking too much weed.

I got better after a couple of weeks, but then fell back into it after drinking at a party.

I was hazy for the most part, brain fog, total loss of ego and confidence and looking people in the eye was hard for me.

School started and I found myself falling into a routine; getting things done, constantly talking to people (i am in journalism school so that involves talking to people a lot lol) and pretty much pushing myself back into reality. My sleep wasn't great; I was lucid dreaming a lot and sometimes I didnt even know if I was sleeping which is what threw me over most times but I pushed through the day. Doing all of this helped me rebuild my personality and int he process I got my ego back(which isn't necessarily a great thing philosophically speaking but its the one thing that makes you feel alive) and I gained a lot of confidence, infant I was MUCH better in many ways than my self before the episode so it was a learning experience really. Eventually my memory and emotions and feelings connected to it clicked back in place.

Since then I picked up a few nasty habits, social smoking and binge drinking(ive always been doing this though) and I also smoked some weed here and there and it didn't bring back DP at all.

Another thing that helped was to leave these forums after gathering all the information that I could regarding the condition. I also found out a few of my friends have gone through it and have recovered so I had their support.

Recently I went through another episode because I smoked too much weed after drinking, but I think I am progressing much faster than last time so maybe my body is too sensitive to THC and its flushing it out, in the process I may be feeling the effects. People who smoke weed can get high just form running since THC is stored in your fat.

Anyways, I recovered once and I firmly believe I will again, I just want it to happen faster because I don't wanna go to Europe this summer feeling like this because I want to enjoy it.

Some of my tips:
-Read about eastern philosophy; "A New Earth" and "Power of Now" helped me a good amount I haven't done much meditation but it helped me shape my beliefs about the world etc.
-Don't pick up habits like smoking etc


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## S.Snake (Jul 21, 2010)

stuckinbetween said:


> I first experienced DR almost 5 years ago when I smoked weed, I freaked out that night because I was so high and went to bed thinking I will be fine the next day, well when I woke up I still felt very weird like the high never left me. I began to worry about it a bit, trying to find something on the internet, and found that many people in fact experienced these kinds of anxiety/panic attacks specially if they are not accustomed to smoking weed. Anyhow, it lasted for 5-7 days, but over days I sort of just kept on living my life and it went away completely I didnt even notice it and had completely forgotten about it, literally it just faded away on its own. Now 4 years later, after living a completely awesome life, school, job, traveling, gfs, great lifestyle, friends, due to intense stresses that I was experiencing for over a month I got this again, and only this time I was again reminded that this dpdr shit even exists, very odd, cuz only now after having this episode again was I reminded how it felt like 5 years ago.


Ugh man I feel you hard on this one. You are not alone.

I think this happens because your brain wants to protect you from high danger situations (such as anxiety/panic attacks) so it numbs you up and sometimes it takes a while to come back.

I was feeling it still in high stress situations but the fact that i felt my body 100% really helped.


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