# for the Too Nice



## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

_My incessant talking
Is not what is keeping you around

It is your choice
And I have no control over the matter

My servitude
and politeness
are not the things making you love me
or preventing your anger_

This holiday season, refuse to kiss the feet of someone who doesn't appreciate you enough. Family members included. It doesn't matter if they're 87 and crippled and out of it. If they're barking orders at you you don't bow down. You might like yourself more, because either way they probably won't care. Or, they might respect you more for not submitting to them.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

another thing, ESPECIALLY.

don't think that because someone else is weak (alcoholic, old, sick, grieving, etc)....don't think that they can't still make you mad and don't think you can't throw it back in their face.

Otherwise, if you are too nice, they will take advantage of you whether you know it or not. And the only result will be your mental hell.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

you sound bitter...still pissed off about the ex boyfriend ?


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

not terribly. more, thinking about family members who make petty demands and that weird subservient feeling i get when obeying them.

but the same applies for exes too  while you're going out with them of course


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

Melissa - ex-boyfriends suck, i say we put them all into a huge pile and light them on fire...

sometimes i think back to who i've dated and i'm like "what the fuck was I even thinking??"

nice poem though, sweets


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

> ex-boyfriends suck, i say we put them all into a huge pile and light them on fire...


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Well it is about 0 degrees where I am at right now, in Saint Louis...so I could use a good fire


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

LOL. I myself have not had much success in the romance department, but I tend to blame myself for why everything always goes south. As a male dealing with females, I can say that both genders are capricious and overly sensitive. Such is the world we live in, I suppose.


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

y is it so hard to get over an x boyfriend for u girls ?


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

Seems your family consists mainly of idiots.

Actually I just wanted to say that I like the aggressive tone of your post.


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

As I would say with aggressiveness you can't go wrong. 
It's always applicable no matter what situation.


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## maria (Oct 28, 2004)

Keeping the anger always inside you is definitely bad for you (I don't know if this is on topic but I just had to tell this..) This Christmas Eve I went to see my friend. Her mother was pretty drunk. We were sitting at the table chatting, and at one point she started crying. She started talking about how difficult it is for her right now, having no job etc, feeling anxious and depressed etc. Anyway, having some experience on the last two, I tried to be understanding, told her a bit how I feel (she didn?t think anything could be wrong with me since I?m always ?happy and cheerful?, ) tried to show some empathy?then suddenly she starts talking about what an a** hole my father is. He was an a** twenty years ago and still is. Never even greets her. And that?s because he?s an arrogant, self-centered big shot town major who doesn?t care to notice little unemployed people like her. Hey, says my friend, it?s her father you?re talking about. So what, says the mother, I don?t care whose father he is, he?s still an a**hole. Heard he didn?t even move his own house. I don?t know what to do, so I just keep quiet and stare at the table. I mean, I don?t always get along with my father but it?s pretty rude from her to start moaning like that at my face. They barely know each other, my father has the eyesight of a bat, and it really was my father she was bitching about. I know she was drunk and it happens but it reminded me how I?ve always reacted in a situation like that, keep it all inside me and stare at the wall. And you can?t avoid difficult situations. So by the time I got out of high school, I was like a boiler waiting to explode.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

yep!


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## JasonFar (Aug 13, 2004)

Hey Maria,

That was an interesting experience you described... "Didn't know what to do so I just stared at the wall." I know that one pretty well, esecially in regards to familial situations.

She was probably just venting because she was drunk. People who are drunk usually "mean" what they say, but they don't *mean* what they say, you know? It's like all that pent up energy, unconscious or whatever, is let out. Naturally, we hide it sober for a reason. So I'm sure while she was in fact opinionated about your father, and rightly so it sounds like, she probablly regreted the way she stated things in that state anyway.

But I enjoyed reading that little bit, and relate/feel for you.

~Jason


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

Good for you, Person3.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm reading in this one book ("The Disease to Please") that over-niceness is actually somewhat a form of Magical Thinking. Like, if you grew up being rewarded for nice behavior (even if it went against what you really felt) and overly punished for not-nice (or even honest!) behavior (and the punishments included things like teasing, physical violence, or being ignored), then you stand a chance to still believe that if you are always NICE then, by the way of magic, bad things won't happen to you. Not everybody goes through that but if you're a real people-pleaser this could actually be magical thinking at work.


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2004)

Kari said:


> Melissa - ex-boyfriends suck, i say we put them all into a huge pile and light them on fire...
> 
> sometimes i think back to who i've dated and i'm like "what the f--- was I even thinking??"
> 
> nice poem though, sweets


If you light them all on fire, who is everyone else going to date???

Us guys have our share of g-freinds that could use a little fireplace action as well.... For every spurned woman, there is a disallostioned guy too!

S


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

The point is, you GUYS started it.


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## Guest (Dec 26, 2004)

person3 said:


> The point is, you GUYS started it.


Just remember, Adam gave up a rib for you women! :shock: :wink:


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2004)

> Melissa - ex-boyfriends suck, i say we put them all into a huge pile and light them on fire...
> 
> sometimes i think back to who i've dated and i'm like "what the f--- was I even thinking??"
> 
> nice poem though, sweets


I couldn't agree with ya anymore.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2004)

^ didn't you used to go out with Kari???


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2004)

no comment


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2004)

that means yes


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2004)

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaa. :twisted: As someone's ex-boyfriend, I would like to ask someone to dig a hole, throw me in it and light me on fire...it'd save me a lot of trouble. As for being thrown in a pile, i'd rather not go out in a big gay tangle of homosexuality.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2004)

The prospect of being thrown into a pit and being set on fire really turns me on! Is that wrong?


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

wierd what you just said. i always thought if i was gonna die id want to light myself on fire. i mean.. im not stupid of course its gonna hurt like hell and i wouldnt be enjoying it when it happens.. but at least id FEEL something.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

HAHAHA

ziggo

yes. the worst thing would be to have a big gay scandal at the time of death. a big gay pile. especially with all the gay debates on this board. bad idear.


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## Guest (Dec 28, 2004)

LOL Neal

no fucking comment is right!!


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