# Anyone else feel this way?



## Liberty (Mar 19, 2012)

Ok so. I know this is probably said a lot, but I have a hard time explaining how I'm feeling. I'm not sure if it's depersonalization or if there is something completely screwed up in my brain.
So about a month and a half ago, I started having derealization. Things didn't feel real and I was completely zoned out because of it. I don't know why it started, but I've been put on a ton of medications and maybe they caused it, or maybe it could have been the fact that I had gone through something traumatic (I almost lost my life). Eventually the derealization went away (thankfully) but other symptoms came around.
Basically, I feel like I'm a completely different person. I feel like I am not me anymore, like I've got a different mind and that this isn't me anymore. I feel like I am just going through life and I am not connected to this body. When I think about my memories and my life, it doesn't feel like it was me. I don't recognize myself in this body anymore. I feel lost and I'm afraid of always feeling like this. I realize that I need to accept it, but it's so hard to not think about how strange I feel constantly.
Can anyone relate?


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## Guest (Mar 19, 2012)

Yes. I can completely relate. That definitely sounds like DP to me....


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## Liberty (Mar 19, 2012)

Tommy said:


> Yes. I can completely relate. That definitely sounds like DP to me....


It's the worst feeling, isn't it? Just feeling like you're not anyone or who you remember, and not knowing who you are anymore.


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## Reborn (Jun 24, 2011)

That's the definition of Depersonalization.


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## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

Sorry to say, but that's certainly DP and its a fucking bitch. But you'll learn ways to cope and survive. Honestly, I hate saying that because its a bullshit statement. Even though you may learn to do these things, it never guarantees that you'll recover.

I've definitely progressed from where I was a year ago. I feel different and act different, but I know the DP is still pretty heavily with me and that's it may always be. I'm pretty damn sure its gonna follow me for the rest of my life, but I think I'm prepared to deal with it. It just blows big time because I sure as hell never anticipated this stuff happening. Neither did you or anyone else on the forum. Some people get terminally ill and die. This is our hand. And while we may still be living, many of us already feel dead or want to die. But at the same time, I want to live. I'm not ready to give up yet and neither should you be. As uncomfortable as it is, try to get used to it for now. Some people can function with it, others hardly get out of bed. Be thankful that tour's isn't that severe. Keep pushing and hope that you make a full recovery.

All the Best,
Pete


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## Liberty (Mar 19, 2012)

Walkingzombie said:


> Sorry to say, but that's certainly DP and its a fucking bitch. But you'll learn ways to cope and survive. Honestly, I hate saying that because its a bullshit statement. Even though you may learn to do these things, it never guarantees that you'll recover.
> 
> I've definitely progressed from where I was a year ago. I feel different and act different, but I know the DP is still pretty heavily with me and that's it may always be. I'm pretty damn sure its gonna follow me for the rest of my life, but I think I'm prepared to deal with it. It just blows big time because I sure as hell never anticipated this stuff happening. Neither did you or anyone else on the forum. Some people get terminally ill and die. This is our hand. And while we may still be living, many of us already feel dead or want to die. But at the same time, I want to live. I'm not ready to give up yet and neither should you be. As uncomfortable as it is, try to get used to it for now. Some people can function with it, others hardly get out of bed. Be thankful that tour's isn't that severe. Keep pushing and hope that you make a full recovery.
> 
> ...


Thanks man.


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## Walkingzombie (Jul 7, 2011)

Message me. Well talk further. The early stages were the roughest and I had no one who really knew what was going on, myself included. Having dealt with this shit for a while I'm a bit more adjusted to it. It's scary dude. Very scary. But I never thought I'd make the progress that I did or be as engaged socially, academically, and occupationally. I was at some God damn low points man. I practically became a mute for 9 months. I know how debilitating this fucked up disorder can be. Any support that I can provide would be a pleasure. Just hit me up.


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## Guest (Mar 20, 2012)

Yeah..not like u need more input really. but to reasure u in numbers...100% dp. well over a decade..have to say yeah. Its how i "feel".


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

Walkingzombie said:


> Sorry to say, but that's certainly DP and its a fucking bitch. But you'll learn ways to cope and survive. Honestly, I hate saying that because its a bullshit statement. Even though you may learn to do these things, it never guarantees that you'll recover.
> 
> I've definitely progressed from where I was a year ago. I feel different and act different, but I know the DP is still pretty heavily with me and that's it may always be. I'm pretty damn sure its gonna follow me for the rest of my life, but I think I'm prepared to deal with it. It just blows big time because I sure as hell never anticipated this stuff happening. Neither did you or anyone else on the forum. Some people get terminally ill and die. This is our hand. And while we may still be living, many of us already feel dead or want to die. But at the same time, I want to live. I'm not ready to give up yet and neither should you be. As uncomfortable as it is, try to get used to it for now. Some people can function with it, others hardly get out of bed. Be thankful that tour's isn't that severe. Keep pushing and hope that you make a full recovery.
> 
> ...


Spoken like the best. This about covers the situation.


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## My storm ran out of rain (Feb 6, 2012)

Liberty said:


> It's the worst feeling, isn't it? Just feeling like you're not anyone or who you remember, and not knowing who you are anymore.


This is the part of DP that actually depresses me to no end. I have done so many awesome things in my life before this horrible disorder struck and now even though I can remember them, it feels like I didn't actually do them or wasn't part of them, like they were just in a movie i watched or something. It's like I have no true recollection of my life before this. I think this is what makes familiar things seem so unfamiliar to us.


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## Liberty (Mar 19, 2012)

hello other world said:


> This is the part of DP that actually depresses me to no end. I have done so many awesome things in my life before this horrible disorder struck and now even though I can remember them, it feels like I didn't actually do them or wasn't part of them, like they were just in a movie i watched or something. It's like I have no true recollection of my life before this. I think this is what makes familiar things seem so unfamiliar to us.


That's exactly how I feel. I did all kinds of things before this, and now I don't even know how I did them. It's like my memories are foreign to me, like I have them but they aren't mine, like that was a different person.


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## Kelly__ (Mar 31, 2012)

Liberty said:


> Ok so. I know this is probably said a lot, but I have a hard time explaining how I'm feeling. I'm not sure if it's depersonalization or if there is something completely screwed up in my brain.
> So about a month and a half ago, I started having derealization. Things didn't feel real and I was completely zoned out because of it. I don't know why it started, but I've been put on a ton of medications and maybe they caused it, or maybe it could have been the fact that I had gone through something traumatic (I almost lost my life). Eventually the derealization went away (thankfully) but other symptoms came around.
> Basically, I feel like I'm a completely different person. I feel like I am not me anymore, like I've got a different mind and that this isn't me anymore. I feel like I am just going through life and I am not connected to this body. When I think about my memories and my life, it doesn't feel like it was me. I don't recognize myself in this body anymore. I feel lost and I'm afraid of always feeling like this. I realize that I need to accept it, but it's so hard to not think about how strange I feel constantly.
> Can anyone relate?


I feel the same way. Really this feeling is so weird. I have it also!! It's depersonalisation and it's a very scary feeling, like if ur on an LSD trip :/ I have the feeling that I am going to loose myself in my own thoughts. My thoughts are very strange to me :/ my whole me. It's like I am out of balance .. 
I know how u feel


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## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

yup, I think every one of us can relate to that. Just know that we are all going through similar things and are here for one another. You're not alone. Hope you're doing ok!


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