# I'm an Observer?



## Rogue Bullies (Jun 1, 2010)

I feel like my DP has faded quite a bit, but slowly. I have had it a little over 3 months. I am able to now able to go out and do things where at first I was so scared I couldn't leave my house. I can tell my anxiety has lessen a lot I use to shake non stop and now it is not as bad, I don't have panic attacks or anything anymore I don't get that sudden black out/blank feeling anymore from the DP. I all over feel a bit more clear.

However I just feel weird now. I feel like I am an observer of the world and myself. I feel like part of me is automatic and thats the part that fits in and interacts with the world and then the other part is just lost and questions everything. As if I am in the corner watching myself interact with people and do things (I don't literally see it, but that's just how it feels). I am just wondering if this will fade out as the other things have?

I also just feel weird being alive, being on this earth etc. I feel like I can't process anything. I will up at the sky and wonder WTF we are doing here. What even is the sky, the sun, this tree over there etc. I can't get it out of my mind. I am afraid to talk to people about it because I don't want them to think I am weird. I feel so small and insignificant in the world. What is being alive anyway its got me really thinking...?


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## Brando2600 (Apr 22, 2010)

All of this you explain is (I believe) just part of then DP "overthinking" process. It should fade when your DP does.


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## feministcat (May 4, 2010)

Right there with you.. although I still have panic attacks over it.. and I've had this for years.. what is being alive anyway? If you figure it out.. PLEASE let me know


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

Hi Rogue Bullies! So glad you are feeling better! That is great news. It sounds like you were on the agoraphobic side before. I have times where I have also been agoraphobic because of the DR. It makes life so much more depressing.

I think I have had the feeling you are describing such as being an observer of the world.

I can definitely relate to the feeling of being weird to be alive. I had this sensation first before the DP and the panic ever hit. I think this might be what precipitated the panic and DP. It is really no fun to focus on things like that. I think it can be good to enjoy the wonder of it all, but for me it became more of a fear-based thing.


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## Rogue Bullies (Jun 1, 2010)

2deepathinker said:


> Hi Rogue Bullies! So glad you are feeling better! That is great news. It sounds like you were on the agoraphobic side before. I have times where I have also been agoraphobic because of the DR. It makes life so much more depressing.
> 
> I think I have had the feeling you are describing such as being an observer of the world.
> 
> I can definitely relate to the feeling of being weird to be alive. I had this sensation first before the DP and the panic ever hit. I think this might be what precipitated the panic and DP. It is really no fun to focus on things like that. I think it can be good to enjoy the wonder of it all, but for me it became more of a fear-based thing.


Yeah I was afraid to go out because I was scared something bad would happen like a panic attack and I use to get this black outs where all of a sudden it was like my mind totally shut down for a second and then it would come back. I just got sick of being like that so I started to push myself, eat right, slowly go out, taking supplements, exercise/yoga etc and now its not that hard. Before I just laid in bed in misery. However now I just have really really weird feelings in me. I guess I still have DP, just getting over the panic stage. Hopefully it will all fade soon. I seriously don't feel alive.


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## lindsayloo (Jun 23, 2010)

[quote name='Rogue Bullies' date='24 I know exactly how u feel. If u ask me I think it might be the end of dp. I'm same as u gettin better , no panicc attacks, but question everything!!! Omg the sky?? Why is this and why is that and why am I a human in this body. Why r we aliive? Whayt the hell is the earth anyway. I still believe in God, but it all feels weird. Just take a deep breath and say whateverm. It helps me. 
[/quote]


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## Relaxation (Aug 23, 2010)

i feel the same, got in the habit of staying indoors, when i picked myself up and started going out i feel i dont exist just like a body walking around, i cannot feel the reality of where i am at any point. i dont even feel anxiety now due to the medication im on i just feel.... nothing


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## Ameloulou (Jun 27, 2010)

Oh god. I can totally relate to what you just wrote. Its weird because i feel i'm at the same point you are and we both started DPing at around the same time. lol.

I only started questioning everything at the very begining of the dp phase...
Although I still have periods where that still happens (like, NOW. ugh. explains why its 4:48 a.m. and im up already...) 
But you know, you can think all you want about life, god, how we ended up here, why this happened, why that's like that etc, but truth is doll, those are all questions you'll never be able to get answers for. So what i do is just constantly remind myself that theres no use wasting time overthinking everything, its just pointless and scares me shitless for nothing. lol.
anyway, hang in there. you seem to be doing good


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## Rogue Bullies (Jun 1, 2010)

Ameloulou said:


> Oh god. I can totally relate to what you just wrote. Its weird because i feel i'm at the same point you are and we both started DPing at around the same time. lol.
> 
> I only started questioning everything at the very begining of the dp phase...
> Although I still have periods where that still happens (like, NOW. ugh. explains why its 4:48 a.m. and im up already...)
> ...


Thanks, glad you are doing better as well! I keep telling myself that and its like a constant argument in my head with myself lol! Trying to ignore it I hope these feelings go away 100% soon. Keep up the good work everyone


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