# Scared I will be like this forever my life's over



## Gadgirl (Feb 5, 2016)

So I have hit a really bad week :-( at the start of the week I found out I was pregnant I'm about 6 weeks now. But since then my DP/DR has become horrendous. I am constantly physically numb like I was back at the start I can't feel my body at all not even me blinking. I don't feel hunger I don't feel tired I can't even feel myself going for the toilet cause I'm so numb. My DR is so strong so I don't think I even know I'm pregnant because it just doesn't feel real I have no emotions no attachment to anything.

I am now a year in with DP/DR and scared I will be like this forever. I also still have insomnia and had that for a year now too.

I'm really struggling with the racing thoughts the memory flashes the Deja vu the thoughts that I am going to Die etc. I had the biggest panic attack ever last night and I couldn't even feel it my whole body numbed so much that the only reason I knew I was having a panic attack is cause my DP and DR was so extreme I thought I had died and I checked my pulse and it was like I was going to explode. Please tell me this gets better


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

I feel for you, I hope you can get some support from your immediate surroundings. I think right now it's important to lean on your family and friends, stay with them if need be, and try to relax and have a bit of a laugh with them. Even when I was in my worst moments, I found that to help (basically just forcing myself to interact even if I didn't want to initially). Also see if your doctor or psych can help you with something to relax you and nourish the baby a little with some good pregnancy supplements and a solid diet. It's important you're kind to yourself for that reason alone. Hopefully the kid will give you something positive to focus on too, especially once born. Good luck


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## puddles19 (Nov 9, 2016)

I hope you are OK! Use the support of your family and friends, do some research on pregnancy and get excited about your future. Go for a walk each morning, feel your feet hitting the ground and observe your surroundings. Everything is going to be ok


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## Lellaboo (Nov 7, 2016)

Gadgirl said:


> So I have hit a really bad week :sad: at the start of the week I found out I was pregnant I'm about 6 weeks now. But since then my DP/DR has become horrendous. I am constantly physically numb like I was back at the start I can't feel my body at all not even me blinking. I don't feel hunger I don't feel tired I can't even feel myself going for the toilet cause I'm so numb. My DR is so strong so I don't think I even know I'm pregnant because it just doesn't feel real I have no emotions no attachment to anything.
> 
> I am now a year in with DP/DR and scared I will be like this forever. I also still have insomnia and had that for a year now too.
> 
> I'm really struggling with the racing thoughts the memory flashes the Deja vu the thoughts that I am going to Die etc. I had the biggest panic attack ever last night and I couldn't even feel it my whole body numbed so much that the only reason I knew I was having a panic attack is cause my DP and DR was so extreme I thought I had died and I checked my pulse and it was like I was going to explode. Please tell me this gets better


First off, congratulations on your pregnancy! I have a one year old and have been experiencing DPDR for around half a year now, and honestly, if it wasn't for him, I don't think I could get through the days. He's made me so much stronger, resilient and happier than anything else ever could. Plus, all your focus is one this person you created - who you can't even begin to fathom how much you love them, so it leaves less room to concentrate on your illness. I have trouble connecting with most people, other than my son. Some days I can't be happy for him how I want to be, but it would be a different story if he wasn't here.

As I said, I've only been experiencing DPDR for approx 6 months. When I was pregnant though, especially the first trimester, my symptoms felt an awful lot like it. I remember feeling so drained, anxious, numb and I had no connection to the pregnancy either. No excitement or emotion, and you must know this is a common feeling for parents to experience, it isn't necessarily DPDR. It's new, scary and your hormones are so out of whack. I was mentally stable my whole pregnancy and before but I felt off purely because it's a life altering experience and hormones.

Good diet, supplements and exercise are crucial not only for your wellbeing, but babies. Try put some energy into researching your pregnancy, parenting etc. and you never know, you could become so excited and naturally build a maternal connection for your baby. Natures way I'm sure is stronger than this illness. I hope you're okay and if you ever want any advice, to do with pregnancy, parenting or your illness, PM me, I'd be happy to help any way I can.

Good luck x


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## evolvingpsyche (Oct 20, 2015)

Gadgirl, it CAN get better. Look at the success stories on this forum, they are plenty.

If that doesn't help, you could always check what psychology literature says about this disorder. It doesn't say it's incurable!


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