# Difficulty reading??



## SurvivingTheDream (Feb 5, 2017)

This is going to sound very strange, but here goes..

I love reading, and I can usually devour half a book in a day, but recently when I read, I can read the entire page and nothing will go in. I can see the words, and I know what the words mean, but still I can't get it to make sense.

It's becoming very disconcerting how I have to read terribly slowly in order to get everything to 'fit in' and make sense.

And also even counting. I was trying to count the number of papers I had stored in one of my files the other day, and I got to 14 or something and suddenly the numbers just didn't make sense anymore. I knew what the numbers were and what order they went in, but they can't make sense.

I know Derealization can have some truly bizarre and disconcerting symptoms, but this is just really debilitating and it makes me wonder if this is this even associated with DR, or is it something else?

Thanks in advance for any replies.


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## Bree123 (Feb 18, 2017)

Same with me. I find it hard to retain things, like I will read a page and not absorb any of it. I still read a lot, it just takes me a long time to finish a book now.


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## Kiwi89 (Mar 31, 2017)

I have the exact same problem with the reading,?unfortunately. Even when I watch tv shows or play a game most of the time the information just doesn't go in. If there's any way to recover even from just THIS symptom of DP I'd be so much better off!

Do you also have trouble writing? Like both the page and your mind are both blank? I mean Ds the flowing thoughts.


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## Kiwi89 (Mar 31, 2017)

Miss* the flowing thoughts.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Its basically down to poor concentration as a result of the anxiety and DP......The state of hyper awareness that coincides with acute anxiety and DP almost takes your focus away from any tasks you are trying to carry out....Its why people constantly say on here that their memory has gone or that they fear they are developing dementia....That simply isnt the case.....Your concentration has become poor and as a result it becomes harder to absorb information...

I mean just try multitasking with DP.....Its literally impossible....This also leads people to believe they are losing their levels of intelligence....People like us who used to be able to do 3 or 4 things at once suddenly find it hard to focus on any single task....Its all concentration related....

I gave up reading books for this very reason....

Good news is in time it improves...


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

In most cases it's basically mental fatigue. It's not that you've lost your intelligence, it's that your mind is tired.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Phantasm said:


> In most cases it's basically mental fatigue. It's not that you've lost your intelligence, it's that your mind is tired.


Exactly this !!!!


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## Kiwi89 (Mar 31, 2017)

So how long does it take for the mind to become rested? I've spent the last 2 years keeping anxiety as low as possible and my brain is still constantly sluggish and fogged. Not trying to sound pessimistic but just wondering why it all takes so long


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

It depends on what you're doing mentally. One of the reasons people recommend distraction is to help take the mind away from introspection, which is very tiring. It can be a re-training process that takes time to establish.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Kiwi89 said:


> So how long does it take for the mind to become rested? I've spent the last 2 years keeping anxiety as low as possible and my brain is still constantly sluggish and fogged. Not trying to sound pessimistic but just wondering why it all takes so long


Million dollar question....Impossible to tell...Total individual thing...and if anybody on here knew the answer we would all be getting better much more quickly..

For myself it took many years to get my mind to even slow down (It actually never shut up totally to be honest) I just know over time it started to ease up on me...I do sometimes wish it would shut the fuck up totally for a while and rest properly but the fact it has improved is pretty good in itself...


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

The mind does actually like to be interested, active and engaged, it's only when we turn it inward on ourselves it gets exhausted.


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## REB (Aug 2, 2016)

I'm absolutely paralyzed by my DP-induced cognitive impairment. The mechanics of my case is however the polar opposite of what eddy1886 and Phantasm is describing.

Dissociation has essentially shut off my higher intellectual functions (to protect myself from my thoughts) and consequently left my mind in a chronic and inescapable state of nothingness.

I have a hard time recognizing words, grammatical structures, performing simple calculations etc, I simply cannot think. I've lost access to my conscious mind.

I don't know which form you're afflicted with or what your experience is like, but if you relate to my brief explanation i'd advise you to search around for the term "blank mind" on this forum.

Cognitive decline of some sort seems to be closely related to DP.


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## SurvivingTheDream (Feb 5, 2017)

Thank you all so much for your replies.

In response to Kiwi89, I definitely do have problems writing nowadays, mainly in the sense that I know the meaning of the word I want to use but can't think up of the word itself. I feel like my vocabulary has significantly reduced, and I can't always put into writing what I'm thinking in my head because I keep losing the words, so it does indeed make writing very problematic.

I feel like Eddy1886's clarification has really hit the nail on the head. My memory never used to be excellent, but now I have the attention span that even a goldfish would pity!

Thanks again for all your responses! They've definitely gone a considerable way to putting my mind at rest.


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

DP seemed to decrease my attention span which was always pretty short anyway. I've never been a great reader. DP did make it worse, it's just so hard to concentrate.


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## Kiwi89 (Mar 31, 2017)

Yessss I have the word recall problems as well! I was never a genius at writing but I used to write lyrics for the bands I was in but without emotions, word recall, ability to string thoughts together, i don't even bother trying to write anymore because it always kills any remainder of self confidence I have.


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## Kiwi89 (Mar 31, 2017)

Sorry, I'm not trying to hi-jack the thread or anything but I'm just so relieved I'm not alone with these symptoms. For a long time I thought I had some sort of brain damage from meds


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

I can't read much either. My eyes glaze over and my brain absorbs next to nothing when it comes to anything longer than a few sentences. My thought processes as a result of taking information in are almost always tangential and not closely related to what I've read, so I feel like I can't even properly process or contemplate what little I have absorbed. I really am sick of the most basic things being difficult or near impossible in some cases. Life with DP is like trying to lick your elbow - you can never quite get there, and you look like an idiot trying.


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## SurvivingTheDream (Feb 5, 2017)

Kiwi89 said:


> Sorry, I'm not trying to hi-jack the thread or anything but I'm just so relieved I'm not alone with these symptoms. For a long time I thought I had some sort of brain damage from meds


No, it's fine: I'm glad and very relieved that I'm not the only one experiencing this as well. I thought exactly the same thing as you, that this cognitive decline was as a result of some type of brain damage. Hearing of others having these same symptoms has put my mind at rest considerably, however, but I'd still do anything to get over this symptom alone. I'd love to get back into writing (I do songwriting too, haha!), but DR just completely takes it out of you. :/


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

Currently relapsing back into unreality from acute anxiety and am going through the exact same problems.

It sucks because I'll be taking a couple of courses in a week for college that revolve heavily around writing papers. Trying to formulate sentences and proofread is a nightmare when unreality is peaked for me. If I'm not thinking about it, I'm lucky enough to read without many issues, but the second my anxious introspection kicks in is the moment that I lose all comprehension ability.

I'll be heading to a psychologist Thursday of this week and see what they say. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that horribly high levels of anxiety is the cause. The brain is too distracted and it stifles a lot of cognitive ability when under extreme stress, so I'm hopeful that lowering anxiety will help me out. Otherwise, I'm going to see about some certain medications.

Best of luck to you! I hope we both get over this horrible symptom.


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## SurvivingTheDream (Feb 5, 2017)

SolomonOrlando said:


> Currently relapsing back into unreality from acute anxiety and am going through the exact same problems.
> 
> It sucks because I'll be taking a couple of courses in a week for college that revolve heavily around writing papers. Trying to formulate sentences and proofread is a nightmare when unreality is peaked for me. If I'm not thinking about it, I'm lucky enough to read without many issues, but the second my anxious introspection kicks in is the moment that I lose all comprehension ability.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry to hear that you're relapsing. :/

I'm starting a college course too in September as well. The entire prospect of it has caused my anxiety to shoot sky-high, so my DR/DP has, in turn, reached new levels - oh, joy of joys! 

Thank you; I, too, wish you all the best on your college courses, and hope that you can soon recover from this.


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