# How training to become a therapist for me out after 17 years



## rektchords (Nov 2, 2008)

Hey all! Feels like a decade since I last posted. 
I
So then, I was in the dp nightmare for 17 years. I literally thought I'd never get out of it and some of my old behaviours made that a possibility (alcohol). For the last year I've been in therapy, slowly unraveling my childhood, processing and re learning who I am. Reconnecting to that young boy, coming to terms with my childhood not being as perfect as I once thought. Hours and hours of talking, writing, visiting childhood homes. Expressing my sadness and anger and sometimes my happiness and joy. Learning to ask for help and trusting others. Understanding that I'd never been able to feel my own emotions because I was never allowed to, that I felt like a robot with no past or future because that is the only way it could of been with the environment I had. The closer I got to feelings the more insane I felt, training to be a therapist in that state is profoundly challenging but ultimately life changing!

Therapy sessions talking about my childhood that would send me into the deepest depths of dp but going back the next week and facing the past head on. Feeling accepted by others and accepting myself. Tackling shame and guilt I didn't even know existed. Feeling my world become ultra detailed and brightly colourful has been an experience I'll never forget. The warmth and love within reality is something I had no idea existed up until this point.

Recovery was never what I dreamt of. No magic thought snapped me out instantly, moments of 'i can't remember what dp feels like' but essentially it was a slow process.

I now feel ready to do what I always believed I'd do when I recovered. Help others with this beast!


----------



## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

First of all that is very nice! Good to hear you are doing better,I can’t imagine any talking could tackle these sensations. How bad were your symptoms,and what exactly did you experience if you can define your dp/dr. And how was your vision?


----------

