# Recovered



## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

Hey Guys,

I want to do a more in depth post at some point, but I wanted to take a moment to write this and report that I am 100% recovered. My DP is gone. Never thought I would be here writing this, but well, here I am! I had a horrific case that lasted about 2 1/2 years, 24 /7. My life was living hell. I was hospitalized twice. One stay at a mental institute for 3 weeks, the other for a month. Was suicidal non-stop... couldn't take it. You can look at my past posts and see how destroyed and desperate I was. However, I see now that depersonalization is ABSOLUTELY something you can recover from. That being said - it is not easy... it will be one of the hardest things you ever have to do.

My recovery ended up being the result of a mix of medication and therapy - although I attribute most of my recovery to the therapy. Medication to deal with depression and get you to a point where you can actively engage in your own recovery (Effexor helped me a lot after 11 other psych med trials). I used EMDR with an experienced hypnotherapist who was also able to identify a number of significant issues that were plaguing my subconscious. I think the trickiest part of DP is identifying the underlying cause. Often it is something entirely outside of our own view - do not assume that DP is just some random condition that emerged solely from a bad drug trip or single traumatizing experience. There is something about who you are that predisposes you to react in this intense and ultimately crippling manner.

In my understanding DP is a step beyond depression - it occurs when everything in your life is fucked but you have you refused to acknowledge any of the shortcomings. If you acknowledge your feelings and felt them then you would be depressed, however we have adapted in a way where we deny the existence of our feelings and get this wonderful UNREAL feeling instead. One of the first steps is admitting you have a ton wrong with you and starting to work through the reality of your life. This process is in fact more painful than DP... DP is a defence mechanism to protect you from your own fears of your real life. This as a concept is a starting point towards recovery, but it is really just scratching the surface.

I hope to find some time to write more extensively on this topic because I do have an incredible amount of experience battling this beast. However to return to writing about DP after recovery is intimidating within itself, and I don't know how deep I want to dive back into this territory. DP is an experience you hope to forget entirely. But I do owe the forum something from my recovered perspective. So some final thoughts before I sign off -

1) I think every case of DP is individual, but that there is always a solution.

2) The DpManual will likely do nothing but make you worse. Dr. Freedman is a scam (give me back my 300$!!). The academic studies are overly pessimistic in their presentation of the condition.

3) To recover you have to actively change your thinking.

4) I believe that in most cases DP is a psychological state and not a neurological problem.

5) To recover will be the fight of your life, but it is very possible. I am proof.

Keep hope no matter what! NO MATTER WHAT!

best,

Phoenix Down


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## chazhe (Nov 12, 2012)

I'm also looking forward to hearing more about your story and recovery.


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

Congratulations on your recovery.


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## Swansea (Jun 11, 2013)

Congratulations!


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## infinite loop (Jun 4, 2013)

That's awesome! I'm glad to hear you've recovered. Congrats!


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## sunshinita (Aug 13, 2013)

Gongrats! and Thumbs up for Effexor I am a fan too 

EFFExor is EFFEctive


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## googleeyes (Apr 25, 2012)




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## numbrdoubt (Sep 6, 2013)

Grats, very inspiring.


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

Always happy to see another graduate of Hell University


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## philandrjack (Feb 20, 2013)

Congrats man, fantastic!


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

just stumbled upon a thread you have opened some long time ago, "The Glory". reread it and feel like a king


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## Victor Ouriques (Jul 15, 2011)

Congrats,I find posts like this very useful.

Yeah,my life is fucked up,I lived fucked up,and I've never been sad,or showed sadness about it.

Never showed sadness through the fact I was abused,I was fat and fucking bullied at school,I was severely emotionally abused with words by my parents.

Today my dad bought a new TV for me.Yes,that's cool,it's a TV,and I didn't felt happy.I Felt guilt.

What kind of normal people feel guilty after receiving a gift from it's parents,which they are supposed to do,because they're your parents?!?!!


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## Victor Ouriques (Jul 15, 2011)

I feel like I'm not worth of receiving it because I'm supposed to be the perfect son that doesn't complains about anything,and does everything well.

But now I see that he's responsible for making me feel this way,he made me feel this way by forcing me not to see he's selfishness and defects.


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## DP_P (Sep 10, 2012)

So great to see another recovery. Keep 'em coming.


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## yosemitedome (Aug 1, 2013)

You are a King. From your old posts to this. I applaud you sir.


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## chelsy010 (Oct 29, 2012)

Congrats and thanks for sharing!!!


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## Guest (Nov 20, 2013)

Thanks for this. I spent my whole life denying that I had any problems when I reality I had many crippling issues, so it's no surprise I ended up going over the edge into DP/DR. As I begin to acknowledge these issues I find that a lot of the emptiness of DP becomes depression, and I'm getting good at figuring out exactly what thought patterns send me into the worst bouts of it. I'm trying to find a professional I can talk to about these things, but my intense fear of expressing my feelings makes it difficult 90% of the time.

I'm sure I'll get through this, because it's clear what I have to do; not it's a matter of time and courage.


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