# I just don't know what to do anymore.



## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

I hate adding negative posts to this board, it does no one any help and I'm usually not a negative person at all. So I apologise. After a week of being, well okay, just feel on autopilot, things are just back to as they where, or worse, spaced out, hardly know where, who and what I am. Depression. I just feel like what's the point any more in living like this. I can hardly even connect to this website at times. The feeling is so intense and I hate whining and complaining about it on here, but there is nothing else I can do. I am seeing a psychiatrist soon so I'm praying that I can find some relief. Thanks for all the support you guys have gave me recently with offering me advice. It has helped. I just hope things can improve a little, if they don't I don't know where this world is will take me.


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2010)

I was in your shoes for 4 months. I stopped doing anything. I laid in my bed, all day every day and watched tv shows online to distract myself from the dp. when I would get out of bed, I would feel lost in my own house. I would sit and constantly go over and over in my mind how unreal I felt and before long I had myself whipped into a frenzy. I got myself so hopeless that I was hospitalized twicw for being suicidal. I decided that I would just rather be dead than live with dp. 
During my last hospitalization I talked with a counselor and asked for some coping skills. Those helped me start to recover. I posted them in another section and if you go to the search box on the top right hand side of the sight you can search for the post. Also, google grounding skills for dissociation or depersonalizatiom. It will give you a list of things that will help you realize that you are still very real and alive. I think the most pivotal thing of all is to not allow yourself to fear dp and to remember that dp is not an illness. Dp is a natural defense mechanism and you cannot heal a natural defense mechanism. Your body is already trying to heal your brain, so dont fight it. Sit back and let your body do the work. This seriously is vital to recovery. Yes you feel weird bit you know whay? You are only afraid because you choose to be. You can choose not to be.


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## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

Thanks Tiny I will go search that and try to choose how I react to dp, therefore chowing it more acceptance which will lessen the effets, as I totally agree with you, it is ONLY a safety mechanism but extremely horrible at that. How is your recovery? I just feel depressed today a lot too with the dp. I'm on prozac not sure if it's even doing much.


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## MisterMister (Oct 12, 2009)

I'm not sure how to give this advice, or as to how useful it will be to you. But, I've found over the past few days when I've begun to feel really horrible, where I just feel like giving up on all things, I tend to become afraid of those really depressing sensations, but the other night when I begun to feel that way, I sat down, cleaned my desk and started to write about and acknowledge those super shit feelings and from doing that I honestly felt so much more stronger, more brave, and just that tiny bit better for it. It's like I realised that those horrible feelings, however scary they may be ultimately represent a part of me that wants to, more or less, needs to feel that way. Just remember that this dp'd feeling represents a part of you that is probably really stressed and freaked out, so, although hard to implement, need to nurture it in your own way. Let it know that its okay for it to feel scared and crap, love it. I know some of this advice will probably give you the shits but, just try to keep it in mind and I really do hope that you find your own little way to sort of comfort those uncomfortable sensastions.

You deserve the best.

Peace.


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## Guest (Jan 4, 2010)

Recovery is going AMAZINGLY well. I did not even notice my dr for most of the day today. I agree with what pp said about journaling. When I was hospitalized we did journaling daily and it is really impowering with dp. It is proof that you are a human capable of rational thought. You do have thoughts, feelings, and opinions in your head. Journaling helps you connect with those and also purge your fear/anxiety etc.


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## Guest (Jan 4, 2010)

Recovery is going AMAZINGLY well. I did not even notice my dr for most of the day today. I agree with what pp said about journaling. When I was hospitalized we did journaling daily and it is really impowering with dp. It is proof that you are a human capable of rational thought. You do have thoughts, feelings, and opinions in your head. Journaling helps you connect with those and also purge your fear/anxiety etc.


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## please recycle (Jan 5, 2010)

To FairyPeople:

Out of curiousity, do you do any cognitive therapy. I want to try it but its really expensive and I`m not made of money. But if it works I would certainly want to give it a whirl.

Also, my question marks are coming out as É ÉÉ...wtf.


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## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

thanks people, having a hell of a bad time with it all, feel so depressed, I go to the doctors and it is the same every time, you just get flogged off. What have I got to do to stop living in hell, I can't go on much longer. I am seeing a psychiatrist soon which i'm praying will find some relief, any relief will do. Well done tinyfairy sounds like your doing excellent.


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## guest123 (Dec 2, 2009)

Unless you have an underlying condition, doctors and shrinks won't help, or at least they never helped me....

There is no magic pill. No quick answer. This is your body's natural defense against an overload/stressful event. Fighting it just creates more stress and you get stuck in the loop. You can't fight a natural process - it's like fighting yourself. Or trying to stop yourself getting better, effectively...

Go back to the recovery section. Read the recovery posts. I'm pretty sure you will see most of us only recovered when we stopped looking for a magic answer, quick fix, whatever, accepted our body/mind is in a bit of a mess for the time being, and got on with normal life as far as possible. Write things down, make yourself a timetable, get a simple job - whatever you need to do to form a nice simple routine that you are capable of doing day to day (and you are capable of far much more than you think you are)

And STOP looking for a magic answer on the internet. You will never find it. You will waste a lot of time trying to find it.

This is the absolute truth. I know because I have recovered after 4 years and have seen many others recover following these principles.


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## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

Thnka guest123, I know your so right, when we are in despair we will go to any means to get better, damn at one point I convinced myself I had candida because of a little rash I had on my stomach, and stopped eatcing carbs for 3 weeks, made the dp/dr hell! I know it is ALL anxiety related, a safety mechansm, I have accepted this fact 100% and realise I am prone to it all, I guess that is a good step in achieving recovery. Thanks for your advice. Paul


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## guest123 (Dec 2, 2009)

No problem just make sure you take it!

I have been a bit harsh recently but I think some people need it, to be totally frank.

I know when I was in the depths it was a much easier option to hide away and feel sorry for myself - now my folks were sympathetic to a point, and don't get me wrong they have been so supportive, but there did come that point where they basically said, look, we can't do any more for you, there's nothing else to say - you need to get out there and try to live normally, only then will your head realise that there is nothing to fear because you are giving it the proof. Otherwise you will still be hiding away feeling sorry for yourself in ten years time. That was far scarier to me than anything DP could throw at me on a day to day basis.


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