# My Recovery



## Simone1986 (Apr 13, 2014)

Hi all, I am new here... Well actually I've been trolling this site for the last 2 months, but I only just signed up because I want to share my experience because I have recovered and I want to help people out of this hell. Trust me it is possible, and it really doesn't take as long as you think.

My DR/DP started from a random panic attack (not sure why, maybe some underlying issues). Anyway, after that panic attack everything was different. My mum came over to calm me down and I came out of the panic attack things were still weird, but I couldn't explain it... Everything looked and felt different. I would wake up the next morning and question how I felt, and yep, it was still there!

Anyway, over the next few days I had countless panic attacks and numerous visits to the doctors... Convinced I had a brain tumour or something wrong with my brain. I wanted to get a brain scan done, but they told me it looks like nothing is seriously wrong and that I was just having a panic attack. So they sent me to a psychologist - needless to say that didn't help at all because she didn't understand what I was going through.

So after about 2 weeks of that, I did some internet research and found that what I had was DR/DP. There was some relief in knowing that I was not alone but still couldn't shake the feeling. There was a day when I just kept telling myself that "it all normal, its just anxiety" over and over and over again, and within an hour the feeling lifted and I looked around and everything looked normal again. I spent the rest of the night in euphoria and had the best nights sleep ever. Woke up the next morning and everything looked normal and I was so happy, until I went out. Still obsessively questioning everything, I noticed that things seemed a little blurry then DR/DP came back with a vengeance.

I thought there is no way I am going to get out of this... But there was now hope that it does go away. Ok, something you have to realise if you want to recover - it's a gradual process. Definitely doesn't happen overnight and do expect that there *will *be relapses. So I kept up with this thought process.

As much as I wanted to stay home and hide out, I forced myself to go out and socialize. It was very hard at first - I remember going to the shop and be completely out of it because of the fluorescent lights, but I didn't let my fear stop me from doing anything. Honestly I think the only way to get out of it is to truly accept it, more than just tolerate it, but actually *accept* that it is temporary and you will return to normal. To be honest, it took about 6 weeks to return to normal, and it was gradual. It got to a point when I felt more comfortable out socialising because the feeling disappeared when I was out, but were there when I was alone with my thoughts. Then I realised one day that the feeling just wasn't there anymore. I actually think the feeling of DR goes away pretty quickly, but because we are so self absorbed with our symptoms and constantly checking that we don't even realise it.

I can say that my DR/DP is completely gone as of this moment right now, and I have done with without drugs and without professional help. You can get over it, it's just mind over matter.

I am still struggling with anxiety though, I was going really well (no anxiety for 2 weeks) until I decided to research visual snow, and I realised that I have it. Not just in the dark, but when I look around during the day too. I know that everyone has visual snow, but their brain filters it out. But because we are anxious and obsessing over it, out brain doesn't filter it out. If anyone has any input on visual snow please let me know - and no negative responses too, I don't need another panic attack.


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## Simone1986 (Apr 13, 2014)

I honestly think it does not matter how long you've had it for... Just tell yourself to relax because your brain just needs time to recover from the stress... I've heard recovery stories of people who have had it for years and recovered in a few months. You hear it all the time that distraction and acceptance is the only way. It's the obsessive thinking that keeps it going. The fact you've accepted it, you will recover sooner than you think. Because you've had it longer, your brain is trained into thinking the way it does and that habbit is REALLY hard to break, and I do think that the longer you've had it the longer that takes to break the habbit. I no longer have obsessive thoughts about DP/DR (only visual snow now). The fact that you have periods with no DP is very positive. It stats out being a few minutes, then a few hours, then you realise you didn't have it all day. And to answer your question, I had DR/DP for two horrendous months.

I do have a tip that helped me with DP. Often there were times I felt that my arms didn't belong to me. What I did was I stuck bandages to my hands and every time I had a stupid thought of my arms not being mine, I would focus on the feeling of the bandage on my hand and that would stop me thinking that thought.

I forgot to mention also that my anxiety got that bad that my emotions were gone. I remember crying on the phone to my mum that I couldn't feel anything and that scared me more than anything. I couldn't even feel love for my baby girl. But I assure you, when you start recovering, all that comes back and you can laugh again.


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## Soclose (Apr 6, 2014)

I'm on 3 months. What you said in your story relates to me. I make myself go out and socialize. Sometimes I feel better. When it gets to be night time I always relapse. When I'm alone thinking. But it's only been 2 weeks since I started going out and doing stuff. Any advice. I still stress over it:/


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## Simone1986 (Apr 13, 2014)

Hi Soclose, sorry for the late reply. The best advice I can give anyone is to understand that it doesn't go away straight away. It usually goes away little by little until you realise you don't have it anymore. Accept the feelings and (this is the hard part) stop checking if you feel normal. Distract yourself. It went away once, it will again.


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## Soclose (Apr 6, 2014)

What do you say to accept the feelings. It's so hard! And I have been getting out more but I don't get distracted.


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## Soclose (Apr 6, 2014)

What do you say to accept the feelings. It's so hard! And I have been getting out more but I don't get distracted.


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## Simone1986 (Apr 13, 2014)

It is very difficult... Just keep telling yourself that it is normal and that it will go away. It just takes time, your brain needs to relax and rewire.


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## Soclose (Apr 6, 2014)

I don't have existential thoughts. All I have is feeling like something isn't right. Like I'm behind my eyes and I have floaters and visual show. I feel like I'm looking through glass. Does that sound like dp?


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## Cotillion (Oct 23, 2012)

Soclose said:


> I don't have existential thoughts. All I have is feeling like something isn't right. Like I'm behind my eyes and I have floaters and visual show. I feel like I'm looking through glass. Does that sound like dp?


Yes, it sounds exactly like dp. The symptoms vary from case to case. For example, I don't have any existential thoughts either, but I do have all the other sensations you mentioned. So don't worry, it's just anxiety/dp.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

I have severe existential thoughts. Feel like everything I know is a lie and that I'm trapped in reality.


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## Soclose (Apr 6, 2014)

I think dp without existential thoughts would be easier to get over.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

bill said:


> Yes we know, we've heard it numerous times katiej


Yes but im talking to different people. ? No need to keep pointing that out to me. It seems to bother you when i tell people how im feeling but everyone on here does this. And in the past it has helped me through talking to different people. Its not like im saying it to the same people over and over.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Soclose said:


> I think dp without existential thoughts would be easier to get over.


100 % cause its also existential feelings too. Brain fog and no self is actually easier to deal with.


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