# New To The forum....Can Anyone Relate?



## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Hello all,

Im a 32 year old man living in Ontario,Canada. I have been diagnosed with GAD and Panic about 6 years ago. I use ativan on very rare occasions as Im trying to deal with this without using medication. Im very scared to try SSRi's as Ive heard some horror stories. Anyway, I get DP off an on ( mostly on) for the past 3 years now. Its usually after a panic attack or a very stressful time. I need to confirm with some other people who may be suffering from this if these symptons sound right for this disorder. First off, I have a general feeling of uncertainty and uneasiness. Frequent mild headaches. I have visual disturbances ( not hallucinations). By visual disturbances I mean evrything seems so bright all the time, sometimes eveything is very clear and sometimes fuzzy. I cant move my head too fast because I will get dizzy and slightly disoriented. I cannot focus or pay attention to a conversation for more than a few minutes. I get inner tremmors, hotflashes, dizziness and muscle aches. I get weird twitching feelings in my head. I get tired easily and have no energy. Getting out of bed is a task. My mind dosent stop thinking. I think of everything and anything all the time. Sometimes its just a bunch of thoughts of stupid things that dont make any senseance. My eyes sometimes cant keep up with the movement of my hands. I see "tracers" often ( those of you who have experience with LSD will understand). I feel as if Im going to lose total control of my mind at any second. I also hae a sensitivty to sound. I play in a jazz band and I have to use ear plugs because certain frequencys or notes from the other instruments can cause me to lose my balance or cause a rumbling in my ear. Sorry for rambling. I dont really get to talk to anyone about this and I would really like some feed back from fellow DP sufferes to make sure Im not going sideways.

Thanks in advance.

The Big E


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## konstantine02 (Mar 12, 2009)

Sounds very similar to what I experience on a daily basis. Welcome to the forum. Seems as though yours is directly related to your GAD. My mind is constantly racing and is burnt out.


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Thanks for the reply.

Is there any meds that you have used with any success? I have Ativan but it turns me into a total Zombie.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

To me, this doesn't sound like DP. Some of it sounds like DR, perhaps, but I think you may have something else going on. I'm not sure what GAD is? Maybe someone else can help better, but like I said, it doesn't sound like dp to me.


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Hi Conjures,

Thanks for the reply. Other than DR, what else do you think it might be? Do you think it could be a physical problem?
DR, to my understanding is very similar to DP. Would love to hear your opinion.

thanks


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Actually, I just did some research on Derealization, and Conjures your right. Its sounds like I have that more than DP. There are some differences that I was not aware of.


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## konstantine02 (Mar 12, 2009)

Conjurus said:


> To me, this doesn't sound like DP. Some of it sounds like DR, perhaps, but I think you may have something else going on. I'm not sure what GAD is? Maybe someone else can help better, but like I said, it doesn't sound like dp to me.


GAD is 'Generalized Anxiety Disorder."

DR is what I generally experience with DP kicking in every once in a while.


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## konstantine02 (Mar 12, 2009)

The Big E said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> Is there any meds that you have used with any success? I have Ativan but it turns me into a total Zombie.


They put me on Lamictal, but I developed "the rash" that's associated with it (1/1,000,000 chance of getting it), so I had to stop that immediately. It was helping me though. Sucks I'm allergic to it. I have Ativan for emergencies, and it does help ease the anxiety because that's what makes this whole thing debilitating to me. Ativan makes me just not care that I'm DPed. They are starting me on Buspar now, so we will see what happens. I'm also in therapy and group therapy. Not gonna lie, this shit is actually making me feel better. At least I think so.


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Hey Constantine,

I have just tried to make contact with my old therapist just tonight to get back into therapy. I was doing some personal inventory and remembered that it helped me a few years back too. As for the Ativan, do you find it addictive? Alot of people complain about getting hooked. I have .5 mg pills and they knock me on my ass, literally. Keep me posted on the Buspar. Ive been giving that some thought to.

Good Luck


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## jay2008 (Nov 6, 2007)

E,

What you described is almost my daily experience, as well. I have the visual disturbances (too bright...too much intensity) every day. It has been incredibly difficult to live with, I won't lie, but I've learned to cope. I no longer have panic attacks as I realize that these visual issues are just the DP. The intensity of the visual stuff varies with my stress level. It is always best while I'm in indirect natural light. For instance, inside a building with no overhead lights but lights coming in through the windows.

If your find a better way to cope with this then please let me know. I'm always interested in new theories.


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## konstantine02 (Mar 12, 2009)

The Big E said:


> Hey Constantine,
> 
> I have just tried to make contact with my old therapist just tonight to get back into therapy. I was doing some personal inventory and remembered that it helped me a few years back too. As for the Ativan, do you find it addictive? Alot of people complain about getting hooked. I have .5 mg pills and they knock me on my ass, literally. Keep me posted on the Buspar. Ive been giving that some thought to.
> 
> Good Luck


I take .5 of Ativan when needed. I don't fall asleep, but they definitely make me zone out so I just don't care whether or not I'm DPed (which is awesome in times of high anxiety). I do find Ativan to be addicting, so that's why I only take it when it's an emergency situation. I think if I took it everyday, I would never be able to get off of it and would probably need more and more and more to feed the addiction. This is day two of the Buspar, and so far nothing has really changed. Then again, I'm on a SUPER low dose because I'm sensitive to all these medications. Damn rashes and shit.


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## jay2008 (Nov 6, 2007)

I took Buspar myself years ago for panic. This was prior to my experience with DP so I can't relate to the help there...however, it didn't help with panic but I was going through some severe issues with agorphobia and such then. Good luck with the buspar and keep us posted.

Jamie


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Hi Jamie,
Im trying to cope with this DP too. Im trying to tell myself that nothing stays bad forever and that the less you feed into DP and its effects, the better it gets. I find it lets up a bit if Im not obsessing over it. Im going to go back to my old therapist too. I have a stressful job ( mortgages and real estate) and really think I need to deal with stress better than I do. I find ewhen Im not really stressed out, I feel somwhat "normal". Not totally normal but somewhat. Its a good feeling knowing that there are others out there that share these same feelings.

If I find other ways to cope, I will be more than happy to share.

Thanks

E

What you described is almost my daily experience, as well. I have the visual disturbances (too bright...too much intensity) every day. It has been incredibly difficult to live with, I won't lie, but I've learned to cope. I no longer have panic attacks as I realize that these visual issues are just the DP. The intensity of the visual stuff varies with my stress level. It is always best while I'm in indirect natural light. For instance, inside a building with no overhead lights but lights coming in through the windows.

If your find a better way to cope with this then please let me know. I'm always interested in new theories.[/quote]


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

I hope the Buspar works for you. I too will only use the Ativan when absolutley necessary. I dont need to get hooked on that. Ive got enough problems the way I AM !!!!!!LOL.

E

I have just tried to make contact with my old therapist just tonight to get back into therapy. I was doing some personal inventory and remembered that it helped me a few years back too. As for the Ativan, do you find it addictive? Alot of people complain about getting hooked. I have .5 mg pills and they knock me on my ass, literally. Keep me posted on the Buspar. Ive been giving that some thought to.

Good Luck[/quote]

I take .5 of Ativan when needed. I don't fall asleep, but they definitely make me zone out so I just don't care whether or not I'm DPed (which is awesome in times of high anxiety). I do find Ativan to be addicting, so that's why I only take it when it's an emergency situation. I think if I took it everyday, I would never be able to get off of it and would probably need more and more and more to feed the addiction. This is day two of the Buspar, and so far nothing has really changed. Then again, I'm on a SUPER low dose because I'm sensitive to all these medications. Damn rashes and shit.[/quote]


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## jay2008 (Nov 6, 2007)

E,

I agree that when stress is at a minimum that I feel closer to "normal". I remember times (like being on vacation) that I felt much more like my old self. I certainly still experienced the symptoms but tried to focus only on the positive experience of being away from it all.

I have a high stress career managing a consulting firm and am surprised I keep it together most of the time. I have considered medication again but there is never a "good time" to start it with my work and family. I promised myself sometime this year I would take a few days off along with a weekend and try a medication to ease my anxiety and possibly DP.

Have you tried Klonopin or any other medication besides Ativan? I used to use Klonopin for panic and it worked like a charm. It didn't hit me as hard as other benzos and it seemed to last longer.

Good luck,

Jamie


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## The Big E (Apr 9, 2009)

Hi Jamie,

Ive only tried diazapam (valium) about 7 years ago when my anxiety reared its ugly head. Im super paranoid about taking any type of mind altering substances ( control issue). I need to feel in control all the time and just cant seem to let go. i have heard others have had good experience with Klonopin. I will definatley keep it in mind.

I agree that when stress is at a minimum that I feel closer to "normal". I remember times (like being on vacation) that I felt much more like my old self. I certainly still experienced the symptoms but tried to focus only on the positive experience of being away from it all.

I have a high stress career managing a consulting firm and am surprised I keep it together most of the time. I have considered medication again but there is never a "good time" to start it with my work and family. I promised myself sometime this year I would take a few days off along with a weekend and try a medication to ease my anxiety and possibly DP.

Have you tried Klonopin or any other medication besides Ativan? I used to use Klonopin for panic and it worked like a charm. It didn't hit me as hard as other benzos and it seemed to last longer.

Good luck,

Jamie[/quote]


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