# To those who have recovered



## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

Do you feel the same way you did before you had DP, or has your perception of reality changed? I can't imagine ever feeling truly normal again - reality is so much less tangible than it used to be. It seems to me as if once you have experienced an altered state of consciousness you can never forget about it. Once the door is open, can you ever close it again?


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## marymac (Jul 7, 2006)

I feel like I've recovered, in part because I don't "float" as much as I used to, and when I do it's not as scary because I know I will get back down. So it's not as if the door has closed, it's just that what's behind the door doesn't give me the willies anymore.


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## Eric8 (Jun 30, 2006)

Pancthulhu said:


> Do you feel the same way you did before you had DP, or has your perception of reality changed? I can't imagine ever feeling truly normal again - reality is so much less tangible than it used to be. It seems to me as if once you have experienced an altered state of consciousness you can never forget about it. Once the door is open, can you ever close it again?


You can certainly go back to "normal". Theres always something causing the unreal feeling, usually its constant anxiety, fear, or a problem that won't go away and is causing you mental strain.

Once the feeling comes people don't know what it is and mistake it for insanity or thinking that they never existed in the first place. Try getting to the bottom of whats causing it, like I said, it's usually trauma or stress somewhere in your life.


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## Synapse (Aug 15, 2004)

I find I have more time on my hands


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## marymac (Jul 7, 2006)

Synapse, looks like you are a master of understatement.


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## Tab (May 2, 2006)

Pancthulhu said:


> Do you feel the same way you did before you had DP, or has your perception of reality changed?


That's just the thing -- you can not get better until you stop asking yourself this question. It is in my experience that the mental syptoms of depersonalization are entirely created by the systematic doubting of one's own mental continuity. It is this state of mind that causes the unpleasantness. Constantly asking oneself the vague question of "Is this really how it was before? Really? It feels different, I think. Maybe." distorts your perception by distracting and monopolizing your attention and mindset. Once you let go of this question, the symptoms go with it. Realize that, other than this newly uncertain mindset, you can find no evidence for how you might be different now than before. The most concrete difference you will find is that now you think you might feel different than you did. Since moving on from this damaging mindset, I have failed to find one single concrete difference between myself now and myself before, no matter how hard I tried. It is also important to keep in mind that you will be unconsciously biased towards attributing negative aspects of yourself to depersonalization, when in fact those aspects either already existed, or are a result of something entirely different.

To answer your question, I can't ever know if I truly feel different now than I did before or not, that is impossible. But I can find no evidence to suggest that I do feel, act, or think any differently. Once I broke out of the mindset of chronic uncertainty, my thoughts and behavior returned to what I can only find to be perfect normalcy.[/i]


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## Tab (May 2, 2006)

Sorry to double-post, but I just re-read the question and I'd like to answer again, from a different perspective.

This time, I'll interpret "perception of reality" as general mindset rather than in the context of depersonalization (which may have been your original intent anyhow). In that case, yes, my perception of reality is vastly different. I am a student of psychology, and before becoming depersonalized I had a very mechanical and objective view of both the mind and reality. However (and coincidentally, I began to come to this realization just before being tossed into a drug-induced DP), experiencing depersonalization really helped me to see first-hand just how fragile reality is, and just how powerful a hold one's mindset has over it. It pushed me into a very subjective understanding of reality, albeit one which, I believe, is much more insightful and true than my previous disposition. I'd even go as far as to say that it is a much more relaxing and enjoyable philosophy. In that sense, depersonalization may well have done me more good than bad. Make no mistake -- I experienced the hell of it as strongly as anyone here, of that I have no doubt. I fear my lax attitude may give off the incorrect impression that I didn't experience it as strongly and I don't understand how truly terrible it can be. That's not the case. It is simply a matter of realizing that one is the sole master of his perception of reality, and moving forward with that.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Tab said:


> Pancthulhu said:
> 
> 
> > Do you feel the same way you did before you had DP, or has your perception of reality changed?
> ...


Bang on. This is exactly what I would have posted.

When you go back to 'normal' there is no more asking the question 'does this feel like it was before'. DP is just this - nothing but a mindset - when not in that mindset DP cannot possibly exist. It realizes on a anxiety driven comparison between the 'former self' and the 'new self' and a fear/belief that they are different when there is actually no concrete difference there.


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## strigoi (Jun 27, 2006)

I was just a short term DR'er (drug induced). I fell like I am back to my 'old self' now. I know everyone will probably roll there eyes but I believe my DR was given to me so that I would take time to reflect on my life and the road I was going down.


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## felimz (Jul 4, 2006)

::rolls eyes::

:roll:


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## Bedge (Nov 2, 2005)

Hey,

I consider myself recovered. But I never really feel recovered. Considering we never found anything to blame for my DP.

I function normally now - even have my own biz!!! But sometimes, maybe once a fortnight or, once a month - it will hit me.

I'll never be who I used to be before I got this. Positively and negatively - I have been changed.


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## qbsbrown (Aug 18, 2004)

I rarely hear the recovered speak about meds, primarily SSRIS. Do you still take them? Did you take them during "recovery".

Or do you find them part of the reinforcing cycle of, there's something wrong with me.

Regards,

Brian


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## Bedge (Nov 2, 2005)

I was on citalopram for a couple of years. It was the only drug that didn't give me horrible side effects. It took me a while to get off it. It was my saftly blanket, or at least - it kept symtops at a certain level so I wouldn't peak as badly.

I stopped meds about 2 years ago.


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## theatreSpell (Jan 18, 2006)

hey,

i'would say that i recovered completely. but then again, my dp has been episodic, where i go for months, or years without it and then get it again lasting days 24/7. i think it's my response to severe stress, or rather me not paying attention to me. so i think it is possible to recover. i don't know whether i'll have dp again, but right now i'm pretty much back to normal and that's all that matters. i think about it of course, but one of the ways to recover is just to not think about it. i believe there's always some unresolved problem behind dp, and if you don't solve it then there's a risk. i think the problem is emotional.


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