# Why is nothing the same?



## 42002 (Sep 1, 2012)

How do i feel today, do you ask? Just like every other day. Numb to absolutely everything. Detached from relationships, the real world. I definitely do not feel the same as i used to. I don't feel emotions and don't think straight. It feels like my brain is so cluttered with thoughts and i feel a mess. Sometimes i can't think. I don't appreciate nor treat girls the way i used to. It's all about sex now... I'm only 16. But just over a year ago i would get palpitations while talking to girls. Now..not so much. I don't feel that arousal or anything..i just feel empty with no direction in life. My dizziness gets so bad when i face the music. I don't go to college and haven't been looking for a job. The fluoxetine has improved a lot of my thinking lately but not enough to say it's good. I don't know what this is..what do i do?


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Welcome to late stage DP lol


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

In my opinion there is 2 stages of DP ...the first 2-3 years is panic attacks, intense emotions, fear.

Then in years 3 or 4 onwards it's numbness, no fear, blank mind & no anxiety or panic you can do normal things such as socialize, work & even judt be ur normal self etc but there is a huge emptiness void like your soul is missing

Personally it was easy to heal in the early stages but not now it just feels totally different like my soul actually left. I believe when u still feel panic and anxiety u got a chance to get out coz u still got feelings and the memory of ur feeling self is still quite close


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## Guest (Oct 2, 2013)

thats kinda how i feel right now a bit spacey and a bit emotionless....not depressed and not happy but i can socialize alot better but i have this void in myself for some reason that I cant fill for some reason.....but then again i just came off benzos after 2 years of taking them everyday so i guess my mind is just adjusting

tell you what though i wont give up


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Lol I ain't smokin anything dude..


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## 42002 (Sep 1, 2012)

I appreciate the comments guys. I really do. I guess i'll just have to ride this one out.


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## eiji850 (Jun 29, 2010)

I feel your pain man it sucks but hang in there find someone special anyone that understands you and talk to them tell them everything that helps a lot just getting things off your chest helps .


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

missjess said:


> In my opinion there is 2 stages of DP ...the first 2-3 years is panic attacks, intense emotions, fear.
> 
> Then in years 3 or 4 onwards it's numbness, no fear, blank mind & no anxiety or panic you can do normal things such as socialize, work & even judt be ur normal self etc but there is a huge emptiness void like your soul is missing
> 
> Personally it was easy to heal in the early stages but not now it just feels totally different like my soul actually left. I believe when u still feel panic and anxiety u got a chance to get out coz u still got feelings and the memory of ur feeling self is still quite close


I agree.... somewhat.

Within first 2 months I would say there was alot of anxiety and panic, like genuine fear, sweating constantly, feeling on the razors edge, like I would fall into madness at any moment. I voluntarily isolated myself from friends at Uni and home because I felt so bizarre that I couldn't talk to them the same way anymore which created alot of unease and strong discomfort in social situations.

A year down the line and the immediate panic was totally gone, replaced by numbness. Gradually the feeling of being a person left, so now when I look inside myself I can't find anything, just emptiness. It's not a depressed emptiness... it's just... nothing.

Weird.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> you know you're only talking about yourself right?


No I speak for a few others too, it seems u don't know EVERYTHING about DP ...and plz don't bother to comment on my posts anymore I'd appreciate it very much thnx


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Midnight said:


> I agree.... somewhat.
> 
> Within first 2 months I would say there was alot of anxiety and panic, like genuine fear, sweating constantly, feeling on the razors edge, like I would fall into madness at any moment. I voluntarily isolated myself from friends at Uni and home because I felt so bizarre that I couldn't talk to them the same way anymore which created alot of unease and strong discomfort in social situations.
> A year down the line and the immediate panic was totally gone, replaced by numbness. Gradually the feeling of being a person left, so now when I look inside myself I can't find anything, just emptiness. It's not a depressed emptiness... it's just... nothing.
> ...


Yep I feel the exact same way


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## Guest (Oct 3, 2013)

missjess said:


> Yep I feel the exact same way


A while ago I used to love reading your posts because they were very productive and thought provoking. I saved a lot of links to articles I found valuable and at least half of them were from you. Early on, you were on of the people who set me on the right path, and part of the reason I've come so far in understanding myself as a human being. It's a shame to see you off the path you showed me, because a while ago you had a clear idea of what you were doing and where you were heading. Just because you were knocked off course doesn't mean the way you were going was wrong, it just needs to be refined, and the missing bits filled in. Everything you once shared with us is still valuable, because I'm using parts of it now and making progress.

It really dose dishearten me to see someone I idolized so down.

I hope you find your path again soon; it's the only way forward.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Antimony said:


> A while ago I used to love reading your posts because they were very productive and thought provoking. I saved a lot of links to articles I found valuable and at least half of them were from you. Early on, you were on of the people who set me on the right path, and part of the reason I've come so far in understanding myself as a human being. It's a shame to see you off the path you showed me, because a while ago you had a clear idea of what you were doing and where you were heading. Just because you were knocked off course doesn't mean the way you were going was wrong, it just needs to be refined, and the missing bits filled in. Everything you once shared with us is still valuable, because I'm using parts of it now and making progress.
> 
> It really dose dishearten me to see someone I idolized so down.
> 
> I hope you find your path again soon; it's the only way forward.


Aww thanks antimony that's sweet, I hope you continue to use those articles especially if they are helping u...I have a serious health issue that I'm currently dealing with also so it's been tough. Dpdr just has to wait at this current time. But what I said about the different feelings etc is true and I'm not sure how to tackle them I believe it is soul loss.


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## Guest (Oct 3, 2013)

missjess said:


> Aww thanks antimony that's sweet, I hope you continue to use those articles especially if they are helping u...I have a serious health issue that I'm currently dealing with also so it's been tough. Dpdr just has to wait at this current time. But what I said about the different feelings etc is true and I'm not sure how to tackle them I believe it is soul loss.


Ideas like soul loss are the reason I stayed away from spirituality; there scary, hard to work with, and far to open to a person-by-person interpretation which can be quite different from the intended meaning. I guarantee there is a psychological equivalent.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Antimony said:


> Ideas like soul loss are the reason I stayed away from spirituality; there scary, hard to work with, and far to open to a person-by-person interpretation which can be quite different from the intended meaning. I guarantee there is a psychological equivalent.


I think 'soul loss' is a term which just perfectly describes what DP can feel like some times. It's a very apt expression in my view. That's litterally how I felt at times, like the core of myself, my essence, my 'ME', my soul, was not there.


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## Guest (Oct 3, 2013)

Midnight said:


> I think 'soul loss' is a term which just perfectly describes what DP can feel like some times. It's a very apt expression in my view. That's litterally how I felt at times, like the core of myself, my essence, my 'ME', my soul, was not there.


Yes, it's a good description, but trying to approach the issue as specifically soul loss will lead to a lot of difficulty and confusion. It doesn't give a person a clear direction to go in since there isn't a consensus on what it is or how to handle it. You can find similar feelings described in psychology, and in those cases there are often far fewer competing ideas on what it is and how to fix it. I think it would be better to find something more grounded to describe your feelings, since it'll give you something you can find information about much easier. Emotional numbness and detachment from your sense of self are more practical ways of describing it.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Antimony said:


> Yes, it's a good description, but trying to approach the issue as specifically soul loss will lead to a lot of difficulty and confusion. It doesn't give a person a clear direction to go in since there isn't a consensus on what it is or how to handle it. You can find similar feelings described in psychology, and in those cases there are often far fewer competing ideas on what it is and how to fix it. I think it would be better to find something more grounded to describe your feelings, since it'll give you something you can find information about much easier. Emotional numbness and detachment from your sense of self are more practical ways of describing it.


Yeh, fair enough. Sometimes it feels like a bit 'more' than emotional numbness and detachment from your self though doesn't it....?


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## Guest (Oct 3, 2013)

Midnight said:


> Yeh, fair enough. Sometimes it feels like a bit 'more' than emotional numbness and detachment from your self though doesn't it....?


It really isn't, that's just emotional reasoning. When something is strange and threatening we want an explanation that fits that criteria, so you try and make more out of it then is really there. You see things moving in the dark, not because there is a monster out there, but because your discomfort needs to be justified. It becomes a lot easier to handle when you decide what it is and give it an explanation that's something grounded which you can work to fix.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Antimony said:


> Ideas like soul loss are the reason I stayed away from spirituality; there scary, hard to work with, and far to open to a person-by-person interpretation which can be quite different from the intended meaning. I guarantee there is a psychological equivalent.


Depersonalization is just a fancy "psychological" label . It really is soul loss, depersonalization is a diminished sense of self and complete loss of spirit in my opinion. The soul is ur emotional self, so when u experience panic it's really ur soul telling u that it's had enough and is terrified to continue coming out. But what happens wen u don't even experience panic anymore? It's completely flipped out.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I dunno that's just my theory and I'm not asking u to believe it.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> = Let's make it sound a lot worse than what it really is, so I have a good excuse why I don't do anything with my life.
> 
> feel free to hate


Second time I have to say it don't comment on my posts I'm not interested in wat u have to say.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

It's not pessimistic it's just another way of describing it then psychology bullshit.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

No offense fearless but u cannot speak for every DP sufferer...DP is not all about panic attacks...I haven't had them in years and a number of other ppl i know do not experience them either.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Lol...ur really smart ain't u HahaHahaha NOT


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## Francis (Sep 17, 2013)

*ponders* soul loss you say, what if it's a case of spiritual insight. Feeling the vast emptiness of the universe, gaining greater insights into what existing as a timeless entity maybe like, feeling the pressure of every incarnation weighing down on your soul as you view the changing world through the eyes of a non-human entity.

It's pretty much all down to perspective, what ideas we entertain and so on.


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## Francis (Sep 17, 2013)

To the OP

Remember that it you that has changed, the world is pretty much doing what it always does. Accepting and/or ignoring the crazy works for me, when I get absorbed by all the crap that comes with this condition it sends me into the spiral of doom.

All you can really do is get on with life as best you can, continue to find out new coping mechanisms, possible cures etc. You wont always be like this, it gets easier but you do need to start changing mental behaviors, which is not an easy process, takes time but you may as well start sometime.

Obviously you need to start controlling negative thoughts by dismissing them or exchanging them for positive ones. As I stated above, it's not easy and it does take time and there will be times when you will be overwhelmed but they will reduce greatly in time.

Find a positive anchor, look for anything that has a beneficial emotional effect or manufacture happiness, granted your sense of humor may seem a tad weird to others...to hell with them 

Acknowledge you have some control over your emotional state, you have power over yourself and don't give up.


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## ph10 (Nov 24, 2012)

To everybody here including the OP... there's something you have to wrap your mind around. NOTHING has changed but your own perception. Your entire outside world is exactly the same as it was, you're just so negatively, anxiously and pessimistically focused on your own head that the "change" appears to apply to everything else. This pessimistic attitude is the exact reason DP sticks around so long in some people. It's only a thought disorder, the more you treat it like it's unbeatable and out of your control, the longer it'll stick around.


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