# Hello - Please Help Me?



## Clo92x (Oct 29, 2011)

Hi everyone,

I have been experiencing Depersonalization for as long as I can remember! I don't know what normal feels like anymore and I constantly feel like I'm living in a bubble. I have extreme lack of concentration, my memory (which used to be great) is like a goldfish - I can't keep any information in my head, I'm a total hypochondriac and I worry that me feeling constantly 'out of it' and forgetful is due to a more serious condition and no matter how many times I get reassured there is nothing wrong, I just convince myself that there is and I can't escape this vicious circle! I lost my 9 year old sister when I was 11 years old and I don't know if this contributes to my feelings of unreality and also my hypochondriac problem because I panic that something bad will happen to me. I am such a worrier and get so worked up about everything.

I have been to my doctor and, eventually, I am being referred to speak to a specialist which I'm hoping will help me but at the minute I just feel that there is no way out and that nothing will help me to feel 'normal' again, whatever normal is!! I said to my doctor that I would even go to the extreme of an MRI scan to prove to myself there is nothing wrong with me but, as she said, in a months time I will be back in the same position all over again - constantly worrying about my health and everything else. I am always on the internet researching symptoms that I have, the slightest thing - e.g. headache (I think 'Oh my god, is it a brain tumor), sore stomach (Oh my god, is it something major?), etc and always think the worse!! I get so nervous before going anywhere - shopping (large crowds), holiday, work, nights out (large crowds). I am always needing people to reassure me about everything - health, personal life, etc!! I just hate feeling like this and it's really taking over my life!

Can someone please help me by reassuring me that these feeling do end??

Thank you for your time, I really appreciate any help!


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## Clo92x (Oct 29, 2011)

I should have said, I'm 19 years old by the way!







I have an amazing family and an amazing boyfriend so I have no reason at all to be unhappy!!


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## CommitteeShark (Oct 30, 2011)

You're already more recovered than you think you are.

I know you think that you don't feel like you can remember what normal is meant to feel like, and most of us have been there at some point. But if there's one thing I've learnt, it's that the structures and memories that have been part of your brain for years can't be overwritten by depersonalization unless you have it for more years than that. And if you're 19 years old, and you've had it for less than a year, then... you're pretty safe I'd say. Why? Because you must have a point of reference somewhere in your brain that you can remember, of what you're meant to feel like - because you know it's not meant to feel like this. The memory is somewhere in your brain, even if it's getting a little obscured by something, it's still there. Otherwise you'd have no idea anything was wrong.

It may not be an immediate memory, but it, and all your other memories are still there, and you can remember them again with a little concentration and focus.

Of course, that's the hard part, but then again, that's what this site is for.


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## LuckyBreak (Oct 31, 2011)

I honestly have felt the same way many times,such as thinking i have a brain tumor every time my head hurts and thinking i may have a seizure every time i get lightheaded and my head gets shaky. So you are not alone. The thing that works for me best is to try and concentrate on any activity to distract you from those feelings, such as calling a friend just to talk, or drawing or writing. it does help to get lost in the moment when those thoughts pop up and hopefully it will pass. i have also seen a doctor and am taking Paxil,Lexapro, and Lorazapam, and can honestly say that the Lorazepam does work alot when those panicky thoughts pop up. and as for whether or not these feelings will end, honestly i had it bad for 2 months straight recently, then it went away for about 3 weeks for no reason and has recently came back again pretty bad, but i think it is different for everyone. so i hope these feelings do end for you soon.its best to try to keep a positive outlook no matters how hard it may seem. just know your not alone in this and there are people around that want you well and would love to help u if u needed help. i hope this post helped







good luck to you, and have a good day hopefully!


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## Clo92x (Oct 29, 2011)

LuckyBreak said:


> I honestly have felt the same way many times,such as thinking i have a brain tumor every time my head hurts and thinking i may have a seizure every time i get lightheaded and my head gets shaky. So you are not alone. The thing that works for me best is to try and concentrate on any activity to distract you from those feelings, such as calling a friend just to talk, or drawing or writing. it does help to get lost in the moment when those thoughts pop up and hopefully it will pass. i have also seen a doctor and am taking Paxil,Lexapro, and Lorazapam, and can honestly say that the Lorazepam does work alot when those panicky thoughts pop up. and as for whether or not these feelings will end, honestly i had it bad for 2 months straight recently, then it went away for about 3 weeks for no reason and has recently came back again pretty bad, but i think it is different for everyone. so i hope these feelings do end for you soon.its best to try to keep a positive outlook no matters how hard it may seem. just know your not alone in this and there are people around that want you well and would love to help u if u needed help. i hope this post helped
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Thank you everyone for replying to me first of all, I really appreciate any responses!

I have been feeling really quite bad the past few days, totally out of it, being extra anxious/paranoid about my health and my memory at the moment is really bad! For example, if I do something at lunchtime, like meet a friend, by tea time it feels like it was months ago, not just a few hours ago. It is really scaring me and I just jump to really bad conclusions about my health, honestly, the slightest thing makes me google it and then I regret it because of the answers that come up (which are very rare)!

I am hoping that I hear from the doctor soon to arrange an appointment with a specialist, if not I will phone them again at the end of the month. I just hate feeling this way and it really is starting to ruin and take over my life! I feel so anxious when I go anywhere and I have a friend's 21st next weekend which I am dreading and, at my age especially, I should really be looking forward to it!

Sorry, I just really needed to get all of that out of my system as at the minute I don't feel like I can speak to anyone here about this because I'm worried they will think I'm going mad!

Thanks again everyone!

C x


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## Clo92x (Oct 29, 2011)

Also, does anyone else suffer from a totally blank mind, poor memory and bad concentration from DP? Short periods of time can feel like a liftime sometimes!


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## LuckyBreak (Oct 31, 2011)

First of all, if you keep worrying about every little pain and symptom , then your mind is gonna make it much much worse. Ive realized that when i worry about my DP and stress about it, it gets alot worse but if i try to just ignore it, it doesnt seem as bad. If you stress too much about every little symptom your gonna feel sick from the stress alone, which personally makes my DP alot worse. also, my memory is horrible on many days also. ill do something such as meet with friends, like u were saying, and then the next day it just feels like it was a dream or distant memory. And honestly, if you start feeling too bad, it wouldnt hurt to call your doctor to get some help ie. medication to help you with your anxiety. they have fast acting medications these days in case you have panic attacks or severe anxiety due to the depersonalization, such as xanax or lorazapam which works for me when im in large crowds or have panic attacks. i myself have had to call the doctor to get emergency appointments because of my severe anxiety due to DP. its nothing to be ashamed about. if u need help, u need help. but i suggest you just try to relax and still try and go out and have a good time. the less u concentrate on the DP the less it will take over your life. and i hope u have fun at your friends party! And your not going mad! this will go away for you eventually. good luck and have a nice weekend!


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## LuckyBreak (Oct 31, 2011)

also, i really do suggest that u talk to either your family or your boyfriend about how you are feeling. I told my mother and my ex girlfriend about it and they have both been very supportive and have helped so much. and it also feels great to be able to just talk to someone about it. they wont think your crazy.and im sure they would want you happy and would love to help you.


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## Clo92x (Oct 29, 2011)

LuckyBreak said:


> First of all, if you keep worrying about every little pain and symptom , then your mind is gonna make it much much worse. Ive realized that when i worry about my DP and stress about it, it gets alot worse but if i try to just ignore it, it doesnt seem as bad. If you stress too much about every little symptom your gonna feel sick from the stress alone, which personally makes my DP alot worse. also, my memory is horrible on many days also. ill do something such as meet with friends, like u were saying, and then the next day it just feels like it was a dream or distant memory. And honestly, if you start feeling too bad, it wouldnt hurt to call your doctor to get some help ie. medication to help you with your anxiety. they have fast acting medications these days in case you have panic attacks or severe anxiety due to the depersonalization, such as xanax or lorazapam which works for me when im in large crowds or have panic attacks. i myself have had to call the doctor to get emergency appointments because of my severe anxiety due to DP. its nothing to be ashamed about. if u need help, u need help. but i suggest you just try to relax and still try and go out and have a good time. the less u concentrate on the DP the less it will take over your life. and i hope u have fun at your friends party! And your not going mad! this will go away for you eventually. good luck and have a nice weekend!


Yeah, that is my main problem, it has actually gotten to the point where I feel mentally drained now!!! I just need to train myself not to think about it but i must admit, i'm bad for it. Yeah, the stressing out makes me feel horrible and I really want to stop this







I'm noticing lately that my memory is really quite bad compared to what it used to be. That is exactly how I feel and i hate it







I am quite concerned to take medication after some storied you hear about people getting addicted and feeling suicidal so i would be weary to take anything for it, another paranoia thing! No it's definitely nothing to be ashamed about. My doctor that I went to see the last time said I would be better speaking to a specialist as she didn't know anything about DP. Thank you







I really can't wait until I overcome this!! My mum has actually got fed up of me complaining because every day, second day, i have something wrong with me or I am complaining about DP but she read an article lately about DP and she understood what I am going through and how I feel. They think it's all in my head so I kinda keep it to myself really :/ Yeah definitely, talking helps a lot







Thanks again for your response, I really appreciate it!


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## LuckyBreak (Oct 31, 2011)

Clo92x said:


> Yeah, that is my main problem, it has actually gotten to the point where I feel mentally drained now!!! I just need to train myself not to think about it but i must admit, i'm bad for it. Yeah, the stressing out makes me feel horrible and I really want to stop this
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No problemo! its funny cuz im the same way. i always have a different pain or symptom that will come outta nowhere , but it happens so much that i kinda just ignore it and usually its gone within a few days at most. i figure, if its really bad (and real)it will get worse n thats when ill get help for it. not that im recommending that to you or anything, just my experience. and the problem is that it is kinda all in your head, but u cant do anything about it to fix it. u cant help if u feel that everythings far away and not real or if u feel like your not really part of reality. but the specialist idea does sound like a good idea. i hope that helps you to find someone who knows alot about this. good luck! and if u ever do need some answers and feel like u cant talk to anyone , u can always come here! im pretty sure thats what this site is for







Enjoy your day!


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## eddiehouston (Nov 9, 2011)

Clo92x said:


> Also, does anyone else suffer from a totally blank mind, poor memory and bad concentration from DP? Short periods of time can feel like a liftime sometimes!


YESSSSSSS!!!! that's my main concern right now. I'm 21 and had a really good memory before but ever since I got this disorder my memory just sucks. And I know that feeling, hanging out with friends and then the next day it feels like it was centuries ago or like it didn't even happen at all. I had to drop my classes in college because of this poor concentration that this disorder gives me. It's more bad one some days but lately it feels like I'm living in hell. All i can really say for us youngings is to stay positive and keep our minds busy and don't give this disorder any of out attention. Been doing that lately and it works for me.


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