# Claire Weekes' "Hope and Help for Your Nerves"



## Sojourner

I don't understand how this book can be recommended to me by knowledgeable family members (one of whom is a doctor) who know that I suffer from an organic illness. I just don't understand. I read the book many years ago, and have read it again, but it is of no use to me.

I am in the midst of readjusting my Zoloft dosage (with my doctor, of course). Today, I fought off mini-panic attacks with the floating idea, but tonight I finally had to take an Ativan because I started to feel what I can only call "depersonalization" come over me, along with fear.

I am so confused; either my amygdala doesn't produce the right amount of serotonin or it does. Why are people who should know better pushing this book on me as if my problem were only that I "have" panic attacks?

I just don't get it.


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## Sojourner

29 views and not a single response.


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## kchendrix

Don't know, the book can be helpful, even with medication, maybe that is what they are tying to show you. Because even with medication learning the coping skills and how to handle anxiety may be of use when maybe you come off the meds..

I for one have had no sucess with meds, I always have crazy reactions, so my hope even if I have a chemical imbalance is to learn coping skills, I am sure they meant no harm recommending the book. It is useful knowledge even with meds I think anyway.

I hope you will feel better soon with the adjustment to your meds, I wish I could find something I could handle.

Peace


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## SillyPutty

I know what's it's like to not get a response, but I believe the people here
do care it's just sometimes we don't what to say.

As or family members recomending the book, they don't understand and they love you and are only trying to help. They probably saw the title and thought it might help you in addition to meds. I read the book and found it very helpful and I takes meds too.

Good Luck and keep posting!!


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## SillyPutty

Oh, but the way (and I'm sure everybody here is tired of hearing me say this but I can't help it ) the book that helped me more than any other and even more than meds was Janine's book Unraveling. You can get on Amazon or her web site

http://www.depersonalization.us


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## SillyPutty

too funny "Oh, but the way" hahaha!! I meant "buy" the way

what can I say i'm easily entertained


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## Da'Burgh

No, BY the way! LOL


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## person3

i read Weekes book in 2003 and it didn't help much, but I read it some yesterday and it had some stuff in there that helped this time around. I had to hit on more of the stuff about my self and my life and my personal problems before the techniques really started to make sense.

you're not going to "cure" just with claire weekes, but she shows you how to get through some of the bad stuff.

you're going to "cure" when you become not afraid of your true self.


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## gem

I believe that Claire Weeks is a beautiful writer. I enjoy reading her books, I find that very comforting and helpful. Sometimes when I used to be feel very frightened I would read the book over and over for suppport. Your family could be trying to show you some kind of support by suggesting reading her book. Anxiety and panic can make one feel very sick. You would be amazed how your emotions effect your physical well being. I think it is very kind of your family to suggest things, some of us do not recieve support from family, I think you are lucky to have family who care enough to make suggestions that may help.

gem.


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## SillyPutty

buy the way LOL it's just keeps getting better


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## Guest

If I am correct your frustration is not so much with Claire Weekes books but more so with the people recommending that you read them.

You say that you have an organic illness and the family members know this.

Perhaps even with this illness,little can be done for anxiety outside of taking medication.

Persoanlly I hold Dr Claire Weekes in high esteem.I have benefited from her books when I was much younger and again a few years ago when I first got chronic dp.
No her advice did not cure me of dp.
It has been a comfort and helped a great deal when I was agoraphobic.
She explains what is normal when in an anxiety or depressed state.
This can be very reassuring.
She gives some easy to understand,no frills,KISS type of advice which when you are with fear and anxiety can be as much as a person can handle.

Nobody can force you to read her books or follow her advice.
If it's not your style or what you think you need than tell them.
After all it's your journey,your pain.As much as their intentions are no doubt well meaning,ultimately it's up to you.

All the best Shelly


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## Sojourner

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all of your responses.

I understand that both biology and psychology are the components of this illness and that there is no known way to differentiate between them. That is, medicine may alleviate symptoms and therapy may alleviate symptoms. Assigning responsibility FOR the symptoms, however, is not something science can do at this point in time.

Therefore, when my highly skilled and experienced psychiatrist says I should not be having any anxiety attacks if my dosage is correct, but my family suggests that I float through anxiety, how can I possibly find a place of cognitive harmonization of these two ideas? Are they suggesting that I take less than an adequate dosage to prevent anxiety?

On the one hand, if I have no anxiety on 150 mg. of Zoloft, as is what happened today, then I am going to continue to take 150 mg. of Zoloft. If I do that, I have no need for floating through the anxiety, because there will BE no anxiety.

I spent, as I said in some other posts, close to 12 years at a very low dose until just recently, so perhaps I can reduce the dosage again down the line, but why should I put myself in a position to have panic attacks if I don't have to?

So, it seems to me that either we try to remove the panic attacks by medicine or by therapy (or both).

For more than a year, I have been telling my therapist that I sometimes thought about death before going to sleep and felt afraid. In my opinion, she should have suggested that I call and talk to my doctor. I haven't seen her this week, so I intend to ask her about that next week.

So, for over a year I have been floating through mini-anxiety-type fear at bedtime. I have been virtually employing Dr. Weekes' method -- as I also mentioned elsewhere, I read her book years ago.

But NOW, and I mean two days ago, for example, when I had an attack that did not go away all day long, and through which I floated the entire day -- that day, it just never ended. It did not disappear. I stayed afraid all day long. After a while, I said, time to take an Ativan, which makes me feel NORMAL, not tranquilized, but normal.

So, Claire Weekes seems to be good if medicine isn't working for someone.

Given my experience of the last several weeks, I think there may well be a degree of severity beyond which the psychological methods simply do not work.

Don't you think 16+ hours of telling yourself that it's not really anything physical is enough trying? All the while you are working at your job and otherwise carrying on?

Old Lady


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## terri*

Dear Old Lady,

The problem I also think needs to be addressed is that it seems to be your family wants you to just "rise above" this on your own. This is what I am getting from some of your writing.

"but my family suggests that I float through anxiety, how can I possibly find a place of cognitive harmonization of these two ideas? Are they suggesting that I take less than an adequate dosage to prevent anxiety?"

"Don't you think 16+ hours of telling yourself that it's not really anything physical is enough trying? All the while you are working at your job and otherwise carrying on? "

Old Lady, I do think 16 hours is enough trying. I think carrying on with your job while in the throes of this shows someone being very strong. I hope you are able to tell your family you appreciate their concern, but you are really trying your best and would appreciate their support.

If I read more into this than you meant...sorry for the mistake.

Signed...
Probably Older than You.  
terri


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## gem

I believe it takes more than just the medication to help one feel better. You have to work at it also. We cannnot rely on the medication to help us feel better. Most of the work is done by yourself. Finding out what makes you feel anxious is important. If there is stress in your life then maybe looking at those areas for solutions. I am someone who suffered over twenty panick attacks a day and know maybe suffer one. I do not use medication only when unable to sleep. I have managed to work through the panick attacks on my own. Yes, they are frightening and feel horrible but I am now able to have one, float through it and go on with my daily living. I do not concentrate on it, once it has left I forget about it. I have had to work hard to be able to do this. Medications can be very helpful and I am the first to say if they help that is wonderful but it is important to remember that medications do not change who we are or take away what bothers us in life. Learning relaxation, eating healthy, proper sleep, and most important accept the love from family if they offer it. I recently lost my father who spent no time understanding my illness and I have to say it is a lonely world when family are not there. It would have been wonderful to have a family that cared enough to suggest anything to me to help me. I would have cherished it all of my life.

gem.


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## Da'Burgh

Old Lady said:


> Don't you think 16+ hours of telling yourself that it's not really anything physical is enough trying? All the while you are working at your job and otherwise carrying on?


Don't be so persistant is rushing yourself into thinking this. You need to use this in your everyday living and when you need it. Don't slam ideas into your head and try and force them to work. You need to use these coping skills, not force them. That's just my opinion.


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## Sojourner

Dear Gem,

The funny thing is that I thought I was dealing with what bothers me in my life straightforwardly, particularly in therapy.

I have been accepting that I have some extremely negative feelings and anger, and I am surprised that it turned into anxiety. If I repressed all these negative feelings all these years, now I know why I did so! If they are going to bring only anxiety and not freedom from anxiety if I become conscious of them, what good is becoming conscious of them?

There are aspects of my life I'm not happy about, but there are other aspects I am very happy about, so it's a real mix.

I'm a bit discouraged about this therapy thing, though, because I had thought I had some kind of breakthrough, and instead I get panic.

I told my therapist that I can accept my negative feelings, but apparently I am still afraid of them, or something. Good grief! Who knows what's going on in the unconscious if its....UNCONSCIOUS?

I need God more than ever and I find it difficult to turn to Him.


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## person3

maybe you're saying to yourself "ok ok I can accept these feelings! just call this panic off!" but the real deal is that the feelings come up slowly through time and offer many surprises, it doesn't all just happen when you've declared acceptance for it. It's like saying "ok, ok, I'll lose 50 pounds!"...the first day or so you're gung ho about working out but give it three weeks and that's the true test.


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## Sojourner

I just had an anxiety attack (despite my massive Zoloft dose) going into the shower, and I decided not to give in and run back into my room in terror.

I decided to take the shower anyway, and the moment I did so, the panic vanished into thin air. While I was still feeling shaky on my feet, which might account for why I have avoided taking a shower for an entire week, I managed to get through it.

I feel I have conquered the fear of failure of "floating" as a technique. It worked, and I am still here.

I am going to hunt down what is scaring me so much and I am going to kill it!

I don't care if my unconscious thinks it is the boss -- it is NOT the boss. I am the boss and I refuse to go crazy or become totally disabled from fear of I really do not know what.

My therapist thinks I'm afraid of my anger. I maintain that I accept that I have mixed feelings toward people -- I cannot distill feelings into one or the other -- love or hate. It's a mixture -- for everybody in my life. But evidently my unconscious thinks I am not allowed to feel that way and is "punishing" me. That is, I am punishing myself.

Well, what do I have to do to tell my unconscious that it's OKAY to feel anger? It seems that doing so consciously isn't sufficient. It seems that crying and feeling the depth of pain that is in me (from what, I don't know for sure) isn't enough.

What is "enough"?

I believe that I accept that I have intense emotions and that they are mixed.

What must I do to settle things between me and my unconscious?

I'm angry at it now if it's the reason I'm suffering. I want to show it who's boss, or better yet, make friends with it, but I don't know what more to do than acknowledge that it has legitimate points I need to look at.

This is too difficult, I think sometimes.

I have an "enemy" that I cannot see, cannot hear, cannot feel -- directly, at least. I don't know what it is thinking or why. I don't know what it wants. If what it wants is to destroy me, I will destroy it before it can destroy me.


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## Guest

Have to admit that I am not the best person to be discussing unconscious thought.
Personally I find it such a nebulous area.

I have several fears and as your good self often think about death whilst falling to sleep.
I don't know why I get preocuppied with death sometimes,perhaps its because my mother unexpectedly died when I was 13.
If this is the case and to be honest I can't say it is entirely and I doubt if anybody else can be sure, no matter how many degrees they have.
Knowing what might have caused my fear has not stopped it.

Some people claim when they learn why they have something it dissipates the problem.For myself it just gives more insight and understanding.

As for the day to day stuff I need some practical aces up my sleeve to get through each day.

Dr Claire Weekes used behaviour modification.Today I suppose it would be called CBT.
She didn't advice us to ask where it all came from she suggested we start with today using techniques to help us manage our anxiety and or deperession.
It's more of a "just do it approach".
She did indicate her techniques often work better with medication,so its not so much a question of either or.
Sometimes we can't erase our conditions completely,the best we can do is learn to manage them.Personally I believe this is due to a genetic factor.

This is where we all differ.

Wishing you the best,sojourner.

Cheers Shelly


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## gem

Sojourner, I understand completely what you are saying. It is so hard to understand what is the right thing to do at times. Is it better to deal with the feelings that are bottled up or is it better to open up and try and deal with each one. I have asked myself that so many times. I have said the same thing you have said. I bottled up so many times that I did not know my own feelings anymore. Have you ever heard the expression, you have to go through the storm and then the calm will move in. I remember that being said to me one time. I am still going through storms and they hurt so much but it takes time. If you are like me and you have been holding your feelings in for years it will take time. It took years to get this way for me and I know it will take time for me to heal. I know I may never completely heal but I am trying my best. I wish I knew the right words to say to help you, I can only express what I have been through, hopefully it helps a little. I think we are great actors, we hide feelings so well, I do wonder if by not feeling what we truly feel in the moment if this is where dp/dr is born.

gem.


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## Sojourner

Gem,

I think you're on to something. DP/DR is a defense mechanism, I think. Although it's more like a siren that shouts, "Look HERE, not THERE. Look at this, not that!!!! Look HERE!!!!"

I had a great talk with my doctor this morning. For those of us with the genetic predisposition to depression/anxiety, a combination of medicine and therapy is often good. But I've asked him to help me decide whether I, in fact, need psychotherapy at all. So when I'm chemically stable (no thoughts of dying, no panic), he's going to do a formal evaluation.

In the meantime, I will continue to see my therapist and tell her what I'm doing.


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## sebastian

For the record, I felt the same way reading Claire Weekes. It just didn't help me at all. I didn't feel i could relate to a lot of it. I think she means well, and i think she writes well, and i think she probably helps an enormous amount of people, probably even some with DP. But for me, it really wasn't effective as a crutch/comfort/aide.

"Unravelling" by our own Janine Baker is infinitely better in terms of how it expresses the phenomenon of depersonalization, and giving advice on what to do.


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