# DP and love



## 1954mmusic (Feb 27, 2012)

HI I'm new

After looking through the site, I've found it hard to find talk about loved ones. Please tell me if I've just been a moron and not found it/looked hard enough.
Anyway, I recently told me other half about how i feel, which can be summed up as this, I know who I love, I know what to feel but I don't feel it. 
My OH is lovely and is very affectionate, and did cry when I said I don't feel anything despite saying the words and knowing they are true.
Reading through old posts and saw it described as my eyes are two cameras, which is what i notice very explicitly.
I can act fine around people, and make people laugh and I laugh back but it doesn't feel 'right' or 'real' (seems like every one has fun trying to describe that)

I'm not happy, but i'm not sad. This is not something that effects my life in a huge way (I say that but who knows what you could be without having DP). I just wanted to know how people justify
having a loving relationship but not the emotions that go with the words we use everyday.

Thanks to the people that post, I see a lot of people don't, but i'd like to hear from you all.


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## neta (May 18, 2011)

i am in the same problem. haw long do you suffer dp and the emotions problem?, haw did you get it?


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## 1954mmusic (Feb 27, 2012)

I think its been 3 years after a string of panic attacks about being around groups. I'm nothing like that now, but I do get very stressed and sometimes quiet ill if I can't find away to be alone after a while with people. With all this though I have some amazing friends and found love, but still feel very unconnected and confused about if what I feel is anything at all. I don't like the idea of telling people I don't feel anything towards them after all these years 
(not just the 3 with dp) because this isn't something I've always felt like, but this is something that I have got used to, and only recently started to realize that the way I am isn't like what I wanted to be. How about you Neta, do you remember falling in love?


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## NolaJC (Feb 27, 2012)

I feel your pain (or lack there of). I don't think I could have articulated it better myself. I am fine in social situations. I laugh and cut up with friends, but almost instantly after I let out a laugh, I am stricken with this horrific feeling that it is all just a clever ruse...because I honestly feel empty inside....and laughter has become this disingenuous automatic response. It doesn't affect my relationships with other people....because for all they know, I am just as I was before I had this problem....But having to put up and maintain this facade is exhausting and anxiety provoking.


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## 1954mmusic (Feb 27, 2012)

It is tiring your right, and being alone is good because there doesn't need to be an act. Its odd though, because while there are lots of horrible life experiences of this, I think that this is a long term problem that is very stable. 
To the point where I don't know that this isn't what everyone else feels because I act like others. And if I act like other people but just don't feel in ways I expect other people feel what is the problem.

I know there is a problem though


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## RellZ (Feb 28, 2012)

1954mmusic said:


> It is tiring your right, and being alone is good because there doesn't need to be an act. Its odd though, because while there are lots of horrible life experiences of this, I think that this is a long term problem that is very stable.
> To the point where I don't know that this isn't what everyone else feels because I act like others. And if I act like other people but just don't feel in ways I expect other people feel what is the problem.
> 
> I know there is a problem though


I need someone to speak with in person about my dp experience.







. I feel as if no one can empathize


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## 1954mmusic (Feb 27, 2012)

RellZ said:


> I need someone to speak with in person about my dp experience.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Go see a doctor or just keep talking on here, seems like there are people out there to listen, all you have to do is ask. Talk about your experience below if you want, maybe we can share and help each other. x


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## Guest (Mar 2, 2012)

I have a husband, I love him to pieces and I know we're meant for each other... But I don't really feel love. Just like I don't really feel excitement or happiness. That automatic response of laughing is the only time that I feel emotionally alive.


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## BlueSoul (Aug 2, 2011)

this describes me too ,,
like you have a huge hole in your chest and all kind of feelings you show to people are fake 
damn I wanna feel again i'm sick of this emptiness


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## perceptualfunk (Mar 4, 2012)

BlueSoul said:


> this describes me too ,,
> like you have a huge hole in your chest and all kind of feelings you show to people are fake
> damn I wanna feel again i'm sick of this emptiness


I really understand where you're coming from. I'm engaged, I have great friends and family, but it feels unreal. I know I love them and I couldn't live without them, but I feel such a disconnect from what is "real" that its hard to balance strong emotions/love with the overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I feel guilty because I can't be there for them the way I want to be because I'm lost in my own mind. I feel like I can't talk to them about it because there isn't a way I can think of to explain how I'm feeling without hurting them, and that is the last thing I want to do. I feel like sometimes I'm going through the motions of "feelings" and maintaining my relationships and it feels fake. I don't want to feel that way anymore.


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## 1954mmusic (Feb 27, 2012)

A lot of people talk about faking emotion, do most people feel this way? because while I know I don't feel any thing towards people how I act seems natural enough, but I am always ready to go back to default unthinking silence on my own, back in my head. This doesn't feel fake it feels like me, and the only reason i noticed is because I've found other people around me don't think or act the same. Its not pleasant but its not a waking hell, no I am stable and its certainly better than what was before DP.

As far as talking to other people that I don't feel anything toward them, I have been tactful about it but they have been very good and just supportive. So try not to worry perceptualfunk, just practice what you want to say, ask others on here what they've done to tell others and feel confident that people love you and that whatever you say will be taken with love, even if you don't feel it in the same way as we presume others do.


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## EmiU (Mar 5, 2012)

You know it is really weird but even with my DP the only person I fell anything for is my OH. I always tell him that and I guess it makes him feel special. I explain it to him by telling him that when I am lucid I love him more than life itself yet when I am struggling with my DP it is kind of like my brain and my soul are having a fight and my brain is holding my soul back. I still feel it and I know I love him but my brain is putting this grainy gloss over it. It can be difficult. But just saying it even when you don't feel it as strong is still a good thing.


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