# dpdr dating dpdr



## Guest (Dec 11, 2004)

Has anyone with dpdr ever dated someone with dpdr?


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## Guest (Dec 11, 2004)

Sometimes I think that if I became close to someone with the same lens that she would understand, I wouldn't have to hide myself anymore. Is that good or bad?

Perhaps Romeo and Juliet was just pornography, perhaps not.


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## kenc127 (Aug 10, 2004)

Yes, I have for 5 years.


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

no, I've never meet anyone in person with DP/DR but I bet I would date someone with it if we had more in common. I think that people who know what we are going through are more apt to be patient with us while we go through what we do. and visa versa.


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## Guest (Dec 12, 2004)

na and i can only imagine how fuckin miserable that must be. If i ever get into a fuckin relationship, I need it to be healthy. But thats probably impossible.

I seriously don't know how I make it through each day

maybe I should start getting high again?


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## Guest (Dec 12, 2004)

painkillers.


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## Guest (Dec 12, 2004)

two fruit cakes don't make a bundt .....?.....


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## Inflammed (Aug 10, 2004)

Never dated someone with DP/DR, but once had a girlfriend who understand it very well and helped me out alot.

I'm not even sure if I would date a DP'ed person, I have to fight for my life already all day long so I would not be able to fight for 2 lifes.

Never met someone in person with DP/DR either...


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## Guest (Dec 12, 2004)

I have never met anyone with dp dr. I have met many people who I can meet halfway on a lot of things regarding derealization and loss of self. I typically associate with people who have mental issues (generally much more interesting and intelligent) and many of them understand. It does suck though, because, as sadistic as it may seem, I want everyone to experience what it is we go through. I want them to see the demented perception we have, because its as if their empathy is for nothing, because they truly have no idea.


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## Guest (Dec 12, 2004)

A lot of my anxiety is caused by loneliness. Does being with someone who understands help?


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

I would think being with someone who understands would help, because then they know that you're not being distance or whatever on purpouse. Someone that knows how you feel will be more patient, I think. Everyone that I know thinks I'm nuts and that I am faking it. I think if someone that knew what I really went through would be more helpful to me. Relaxful.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

i just dated an alcoholic fuckhead with worse mental problems that mine could ever THINK of being and even he was too fucking stupid to understand what i was going through. fuck him and everybody else. if it weren't for him i would hvae felt less dissociated anyway. i hate him.


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## Misty (Nov 17, 2004)

I'm sorry


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## Guest (Dec 13, 2004)

would it help the loneliness? Probably for a bit, but there are so many stressors involved in romantic relationships that the reality would eventually hit you hard.

I think friendships are better for that sort of filling-up-the-void need.


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## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

im in a very steadfast relationship with someone from this site. hes back home now but will be coming back to live here soon. he visitied me for the month of june, and during that time there were several instances, and some very severe instances where one of us would go on the blink, and because the other knew exactly how that person was feeling and knew what to do about it, we were able to help each other get through it without incident.

being with someone who knows how you feel and knows how to help you is a very reassuring thought. you are like a team, and you always have each others back. of course there are times when those problems clash, but thats a factor in any relationship. the important thing is to always practice patience and understanding when dealing with your partner. that is something that is usually lacking in a relationship where only one partner is disabled. the other starts feeling trapped and overwhelmed. the need to break free and have a "normal relationship" with a "normal person" is strong. and there will be many times where that person, out of frustration, will lash out at their spouse and make them feel even worse than they already do.

whenever i watch that movie benny and joon it reminds me of me and gav. alone people looked at them as wierd and different, so it made them feel even lonlier, and even more different. it made them see their differences as something dirty and bad. but when they found each other.. none of those things mattered. the only thing that mattered was their love, happiness, and their overall respect for one another. their wierdness made their relationship stronger.

i dont think theres anything wrong with crazy love. its the best kind of love if you ask me. :wink:


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

deadpoet said:


> Sometimes I think that if I became close to someone with the same lens that she would understand, I wouldn't have to hide myself anymore. Is that good or bad?


Deadpoet,

First of all, I can understand why you would want to 'hide' yourself. But, in order to be "close to someone", I think you need to show every side of yourself, including your concerns/sadness/confusions/etc surrounding mental instabilities. I question if you could ever feel fully accepted/loved or even comfortable if you didn't expose yourself. :wink: I find when I hide my DP/DR from people, I feel as though I am lying to them in a way. I feel like I'm keeping a secret from them. After telling others about my DP/DR and showing my distress about it, it's almost like I no longer have to act. And that's relieving. Well, even though they now know what i've been hiding, I know they will never be able to understand. But perhaps you'd be OK with that if this person was unrelentlessly supportive (?). Maybe all you need to do is tell this person that you are hiding from and you will find they give you everything you need in terms of understanding and support (?).

As for myself, no matter who the person is, supportive boyfriend or not, I always feel at least a small amount of guilt for being a downer or consuming their time with unpleasant talk... it's something I need to get over.

Whether or not dating someone with DP/DR is a good idea, I can't answer. All of us on this forum have varying degrees of symptom severity and various coping methods. I believe it's purely circumstantial. And by this I mean it depends on the two people involved. Perhaps two particular DPers would bring each other down. On the flip side, maybe two different DPers would hold each other up. Again, I feel it depends on individuals' characteristics and circumstances.


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## *Alex (Sep 27, 2004)

Hi

I would have to agree with uni-g, i believe it does depend on the two people involved just like in a "normal" relationship, you still have to have some sort of spark there, a connection etc. But in saying that i also think if it was to work as it seems it has with SleepingBeauty the relationship would be verystrong because of the understanding, patience, support and communication that the couple would have with eachother.

These things are the basis of a good relationship...so i think it would work well. On the other hand though ?????????

P.S I am relationship retarded (even before dp) so dont hold me to this


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## Guest (Dec 13, 2004)

Without going into too much detail..........let's say I know somebody from here that has met somebody else from here in person. Say even several times. It has been his experience that if you put two people together who are DP/DR, I mean - really and truly DP/DR, the sense of connection is so very strong it borders on amazing. You know each other, in one particular way, sooooooo well. It's as if when meeting the first time -you realize you've known each other your whole life. The empathy, understanding that you share is so...........complete. As if only by looking into their eyes you can know so much of what is going on inside. It's sort of like, coming home. A feeling of being understood. A feeling of safety somehow. 
Or so I hear anyway.

p.s. Alex, everyone is relationship retarded - it is only a matter of degree.

p.p.s. were it not for distance, and a few other details, I would be with that person right now. I am in love with her.


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## Guest (Dec 13, 2004)

no.


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## Guest (Dec 13, 2004)

Sleepingbeauty, university girl, sc thanks for your responses. It's nice to talk to people who've been there before. My faith in Shakespeare is at least partially restored.

Sc, is that part your possible divorce?

...anyway...

I'm in Colorado, just finished a test (Mandarin Chinese) and the weather is beautiful so I'm ganna go outside and play. Hope ya'll have a great day.


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## Inflammed (Aug 10, 2004)

DP/DR and dating....intersting !

I try to see my problem like if it was another problem, like hypoglycemia or chronic fatigue...people with those disease can still manage relationships I think.

I used to go out with a girl for 2 years...and the first years she never even doubt that I had a problem...
Love is a strong medecine too ! (best pill ever to me)
I told her a bit later and it didn't bother her that much...in fact she helped me alot at that time...
Even if she was a *never felt anxiety* person, she tried to help and listened to me and helped me changed my bad habits that were making me worst.


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