# well bye



## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

I'm too fucked up, I'm leaving permanently this time.
I wish you all good luck...

if i'm not back in 2months with either "failure story" or "recover story" i've commited suicide and then please realize how serious this disorder is and that you must take it serious and get out of it before it kills you...

Good luck

Love ya'll peace

edit: i by no means advocate suicide, stick by the NEVER GIVE UP OR KILL URSELF, but my case is different, most of you on a 1-5 scale are DPDR grade 1-3 I'm grade 6.

I'm so fucked Ive stabbed myself and doesnt feel it, i can shower in ice cold water and yet not feel the water or body, I can sit with my mom and still question if she exist, I got 500 intrusive thoughts a day that alters my perception of reality to the point I got no escape, no nothing.
I can't get horny and almost no erection anymore, dno if this is caused by concussion or just mad depression I cant feel beneath my DPDR, but anyway my life is worse than a paralyzed person with migraine...

I feel fucked beyond repair, "I know I'm not", I keep telling myself but lol doesnt matter Im too fucked to go on....

Good luck ya'll


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

Humm.


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## xileblack (Sep 4, 2007)

You think you're the only one that feels this way? maybe not everyone here seems as fucked up as you are because they don't go on and on about .. everyone of us here questions reality im questioning even typing this and everyone I talk to everyday


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

Dude think Im bragging about how deluded I am? lol

I'm just trying to say, theres hope for most of us... but some of us(atleast me) is so incredbily fucked, my only hope must be removing the part of my brain that causes thinking


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## Capt-Hook (Aug 22, 2007)

Good luck, man. I'm sure someday you'll find the answer to your problem. Try not to give up. :wink:


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

MentallyIll said:


> Dude think Im bragging about how deluded I am? lol
> 
> I'm just trying to say, theres hope for most of us... but some of us(atleast me) is so incredbily flower*, my only hope must be removing the part of my brain that causes thinking


I thought you were leaving :? .......Just kidding..

Good luck MI, maybe a change will do you good.

3098


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

haha yeah I'm leaving, currently 4:21am here so I haven't gone to sleep yet


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

Can I have your PM box? I need the extra room


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

c ya tomorrow


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## xileblack (Sep 4, 2007)

No I don't think you're bragging about how your DP/DR is .. if you brag about that then you're a fuckin tool all im saying is theres probably people on this board that are or worse off then you .. im probably just as bad I have hardcore OCD and i've read you have as well so getting out of this does seem to be harder for people with OCD have you tried medication specifically for OCD? and also what other medication have you taken before? I've seen you around these boards a lot complaining how bad this is for you but what help have you actually gotten?


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

The reason I complain is simple:

I'm in co nstant despair beyond ur experience.

I've tried lexapro, diazepam, oxazepam.... No help...
I've tried and currently in therapy, diazepam, acupuncture, eating: b vitamine complex, multivitamin complex, zinc supplement, primrose oil, fish oil, flaxseed oil.
See, I'm just seeing same as you, that I'm COMPLAINING, not because I'm the type to whine, but because I'm so bad off, I've stabbed myself 3 times just to try to feel my body and distract my mind.
I've overdosed on pills in hope of going coma and then maybe when waking up my mind would be fixed.
I've researched ALL evolution, science u can find just to know reality, does it help ? NO cause my stupid OCD uses shit against me.
So what can I do? Go on with life believin I'm all alone? No, it's not a option, it's a worthless life.
How do I feel? like a crazy person 50 feet below ground all alone in a room with ZERO communication with other beings, cause no matter how many I speak to, I doubt their existance. nto just "question it" i seriously doubt it so much I GET NOTHING.
I can have sex, what do I feel? NOTHING, all I do is question IS THIS GIRL I FUCK REAL?
Can I watch movies ? NOO? Can I do shit but keep on trying to give myself braindamage and hope that one day the part of my brain producing these thoughts is fucekdup? nope, thats my only shot at recovery.

For most of you(like I was once) the cure is just saying "FUCK IT" go out and live for a month and be recovered (MOST OF YOU, NTO ALL)...
So tell me since u feel that I'm complaining so much unnessacary, what can I do?

If you really doubt my existance, why did you respond my msg ? and I recognized you said "i've seen you on this board for awhile" , well atleast you still know what time is and believe things has happened, I doubt this to.

So what the fuck can I do when the obsessions kill ALL logic, build so "advanced" ur "trapped" in it and it fucks up your view so much u think u need to suicide before you kill someone? U SUICIDE.ou stabbed urself just

Know what i miss the most? I'm not asking for joy, laughing, having fun, all I ask for is the ability to feel sorrow for my dad's death. Just a simple emotion as that, not even that can I get. I get OCD thoughts like, "GOD IS PUNISHING YOU", "YOU ARE GOD" "YOU LOSE YOUR SOUL" "UR HALLUCINATING ALL" "UR DREAMING", yet I'm a atheist n dont believe in god, soul and I've done several experiements to prove the objective world exist, does it matter ?NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my fuckn brain doesn't realize..
What happens when I experience a coincidence like I'm saying a word at the same time as someone on the TV does ? 
I BELIEVE IT MEANS SOMETHING, WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WORLD IS A DREAM...

"CALM DOWN,other people exist, use ur logic now, u were born by a person, that person is juts like you, so it must be conscious, your mom is conscious atleast"
-"BUT WHAT IF EVERYONE IS ME?"

see u got no clue what delusional obsessions is. "is this a dream" is just a stupid question, talk to me when u believe it

DPDR can make u insane, i dont care what people say...


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## xileblack (Sep 4, 2007)

Alright well since your being a fuckin asshole about everything i've said .. you just took everything i've said out context and made it seem like im bad mouthing you .. which im not at all you just make it seem like your're the only one like this in the world and you're not I hope you feel better I guess is all I can say


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## Guest (Sep 13, 2007)

I fear I'm the only one in the world, I HAVE NO FUCKING RECOGNIZITION OR LOGIC THAT OTHERS EXIST ANYMORE...
This is turning me into a narcissist with no morals and I HATE IT, I USED TO LOOOVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHY.
I used to find relief when i heard others suffered the same as me. NOW IS THERE OTHER PEOPLE TO EXPERIENCE THE SAME DISORDER AS ME? HOW CAN I CONVINCE MYSELF?
 no


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

Are you still here?........ :mrgreen:

Kidding


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

:? Well good luck with everything mental.

Don't die. 
there's no point in offing yourself. You'll just miss out on life. 
You get to die no matter what but you won't get another chance to live.

hope you get better soon.


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## laquw (Aug 26, 2004)

There is hope dude.. I overcame DP a few years back. I thought there was no way in hell it will go away because I forgot what normal was. But it did.. Keep your head up and try to be positive. Try to stop asking yourself a million questions. I know its easier said than done, but my way of coping with the existential thoughts were I set up an answer for the most common questions I ask myself. To the point where I got bored of the question b/c I already knew the answer. Might sound stupid but it worked for me.


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## Cam (Dec 13, 2006)

> Keep your head up and try to be positive.


AND change your user name! :wink:

BB


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## AllmindnoBrain (Jun 28, 2007)

Have you tried luvox (Fluvoxamine), I was in a very bad state of despair, depression, confusion about a year ago and decided i would take some kind of medication or else i would have to kill myself. It definitely brought me out of feeling like an empty ball of confusion and obsessions. I think most of your problems are more OCD based and you should concentrate on fixing that. Just because you think something, doesnt mean its real, when you have ocd your mind plays tricks on you. Im still having trouble deciding if what i think is real or its the ocd making me paranoid and delusional.


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## laquw (Aug 26, 2004)

Black Box said:


> > Keep your head up and try to be positive.
> 
> 
> AND change your user name! :wink:
> ...


I'm a little lost.. change my name because?


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## Pollyanna 3098 (Dec 12, 2006)

laquw said:


> I'm a little lost.. change my name because?


Umm, I think Black Box was referring to MentallyIll's user name. :wink:


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2007)

Thanks guys, when I'll be back recovered.
I'll change it to Mentally Chill
See you


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## Guest (Sep 14, 2007)

Good luck pal.


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

dont be shy with fucking shrinks. tell them everything in details n u will be ok. there r some other methods that u can try if u ever come back here pm me. these work temporary n bring ur feeling back for a day or so.


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## Guest (Sep 15, 2007)

medo tell me now if u got some


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## hotrille (May 10, 2007)

I am just wondering and feel free to ignore this if this isn't relevant, but is there anything up with your spine, MentallyIll? Like you could have a crooked spine or a broken leg that when you walked on it, made your back hurt? Do you have trouble going to the bathroom, weird pupils, cold hands n feet? Do you feel fine physically like you are totally healthy but just feel numb? Have you gotten any injuries besides a concussion? And if you had a concussion, has it healed completely or did it just make things worse? These are just a few questions I thought might help you by defining what may be wrong. I have no clue what is actually wrong and I want to find out for myself but I have no explanation or a rationale behind whatever therapy I would recommend or even think is the right therapy for you, but I just wanted to ask. Don't lose faith, there's probably a physical explanation for this, and I want to try damn hard to find it and try to cure it. Thanks for reading.


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

MentallyIll said:


> medo tell me now if u got some


Its a religious method performed by some people. It helps some people permamently but mostly lasts from 1-7 days. That was my only treatment during war. It aint placebo. It kills fear N anxiety. Tell me where you live and I'll see if I can find anyone near you.


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## Guest (Sep 16, 2007)

First to u with the physical questions: well concussion made me panic worse but I survived... Thanks for caring.
Hmm physically my doctors tests say I'm all good....

However someway when I talked to my sister once AFTER the concussion I felt normal, so I doubt it's brain damage, it's just a philosophy called solipsism that well.... made me delusional...

So thanks anyway....

as for medo, I'm living in Norway.
I'm a atheist, so.... ?


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

no matter if ur an atheist....tell me the city name ant try it..worth a try n no charge for it


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

BTW, why dont u try hipnotherapist or hypnosis?


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## Guest (Sep 16, 2007)

what can a hypnosis dude do? 
change my beliefs back to objective reality and that people exist and that the world is not some simulation or my fantasy or anything?


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## Guest (Sep 16, 2007)

medo said:


> hipnotherapist


I spent ?360 quid "trying" to be "put under"... but he couldn't... because he said I was already "under" :? .


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## Guest (Sep 16, 2007)

?360 quid, that's like a $1000 :shock:

Anyway, I have been told that hypnotherapy can be dangerous.
You may end up being re-traumatized.

P.S. This has got to be the longest goodbye I have ever seen LOL.... :wink:


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

Good luck Mentally Ill. Just keep that intent - "Heal or die!" - and you'll get through this


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## Guest (Sep 17, 2007)

Im still the same person said:


> ?360 quid, that's like a $1000 :shock:
> 
> Anyway, I have been told that hypnotherapy can be dangerous.
> You may end up being re-traumatized.
> ...


*Shows the jeans he was wearing at the time*... LOOK AT THE DAMN BURNT HOLE IN MY POCKET! =*(.

All I know is that it's shit... lol

Queens of the Stone Age - Long Slow Goodbye


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

Emulated Puppet}eer said:


> medo said:
> 
> 
> > hipnotherapist
> ...


works for some...im taking my brother to a therapist as she promised she will help with his OCD n if she dont im taking money back.


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## Guest (Sep 17, 2007)

medo said:


> Emulated Puppet}eer said:
> 
> 
> > medo said:
> ...


Sure... you go ahead and rob her... "winner"... lol.


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

well this hypnotherapist told my brother is she dont help she aint taking money..lets see....


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## Guest (Sep 20, 2007)

Can't lose on that one then =D... Go for it.


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## mezz (Sep 8, 2006)

medo said:


> no matter if ur an atheist....tell me the city name ant try it..worth a try n no charge for it


Could you tell us the name of the method?


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## medo (Dec 19, 2006)

well emulated u were right....that witch did nothing to help and cashed in $300 for 2 hours of BS.


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## Guest (Sep 22, 2007)

Don't be so hard on yourself, I learnt the hard way as well and as I have already stated... I spend around ?360 quid (around $700-800 dollars). If some one waves a cure/carrot in your face... it's hard not to walk towards it... although if you do walk and catch it... you'll only find out it's made of rubber (made in china written on it as well). If she was able to "cure" she's be a high up mofo doctor... she'd be treating millionaires... and she would have only turned her nose up at you.

Sorry you went through that.

Darren.


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Dammit.... I was seriously just about to call and make an appt. with this therapist who's supposed to know about dissociation and stuff and she does hypnotherapy... I was all excited about the hypnotherapy.... I've always wanted to be hypnotized to see if I could uncover some hidden trauma that may be the cause of my DP but I've always been scared it might make things worse like someone said in this thread and the rest of you say it's b.s.


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## Guest (Sep 22, 2007)

.


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## Guest (Sep 22, 2007)

You can't hypnotize the hypnotized.


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