# DP caused by isolation / social anxiety?



## depressedloser (Feb 19, 2009)

I've been reading about DP here on the forum, and I've noticed that DP often seems to be caused by drug use or traumatic experiences. This has got me considering what if anything has caused my DP symptoms.

My best guess so far is that my DP is caused by social isolation or perhaps more accurately my attempts to escape social isolation. I've had recurring periods of sometimes severe social isolation since I was a teenager (I'm 24 now). During the worst of it a couple years back the only conversations I had were once a week phone conversations with my parents. I've been very fortunate to fall into a few good friendships in the past year or so, but my depression has actually gotten worse and now in the past half a year or so I've started experiencing DP / borderline psychotic symptoms. The only explanation I can see is that this is caused by the sort of sudden return to socializing (I have all sorts of social fears and hang ups and deficiencies that have made it hard). It's quite unfortunate because my natural inclination is now to return to social isolation (in isolation I was miserable but at least stable and in touch with reality), and although I know it's only a defense mechanism I find myself being antisocial. This has given rise to a negative feedback loop of sorts, making everything worse.

Anyone experiencing something similar?


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## widescreened (Jun 22, 2005)

Hi depressed looser. What a name you have chosen!!

isolation is a bad idea, no exceptions.

What sort of socialising and what sort of enviornments were you going to that leave you feeling uncomfortable?
If it was nightclubs then just stop going and do smtg else that you are more comfortable doing.

Black and white generalizing is an attitude that can leave you making those sort of choices, ie just locking yourself away rather than doing different things that you would be a lot happier doing.


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## Guest (Feb 22, 2009)

bitchin screen name, i wish i would of thought of that name, describes me perfect.

Yea i remember being completely socially isolated before I got dp/dr so it can't be coincidence a lot of have gone through the same stuff. Most of it because the system gets us down


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## depressedloser (Feb 19, 2009)

As for what sort of socializing leaves me anxious, it's really anything. I don't really like to be one-on-one with anyone for fear I won't be able to hold up a conversation, but at the same time groups larger than 4 or so people also can be uncomfortable. The ideal social event for me would be going to dinner with a small group of close friends, but I've been known to avoid that too. When I get invited to something I get nervous and say I'm tired, or I just hide if I know my housemates are going somewhere to be sure they won't invite me. Sometimes I think I just don't like people.


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## usedtobe (Sep 8, 2007)

depressedloser said:


> As for what sort of socializing leaves me anxious, it's really anything. I don't really like to be one-on-one with anyone for fear I won't be able to hold up a conversation, but at the same time groups larger than 4 or so people also can be uncomfortable. The ideal social event for me would be going to dinner with a small group of close friends, but I've been known to avoid that too. When I get invited to something I get nervous and say I'm tired, or I just hide if I know my housemates are going somewhere to be sure they won't invite me. Sometimes I think I just don't like people.


I have the same fear that I won't be able to hold a conversation. I am way too nervous and worried about how I am being perceived. The only difference is that I want to go out and be liked by people. I need connections with people and that is something I haven't felt in a while.


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2009)

what you see in them is what you see in yourself, stop being so perceptive about others and you won't feel that way


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## JaoDP123 (Sep 3, 2005)

lol what a name if that is how you feel about yourself then there is no wonder you are having troubles with confidence. i also have social anxiety and just not knowing how to act in front of people. the harder i try the more neurotic my behavior becomes so it gets very frustrating. lately i have tried to just throw it all out the window and act spontaneously and that has help my anxiety a bit. it's hard to do though when we've been conditioned to respond to social stimuli in an antisocial way


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## Violante (Aug 24, 2011)

I've always feel awkward and anxious about interaction with other people since like 10. Reading you post made me realize that as a result I felt socially isolated and to escape that feeling I would depersonalize myself. Thanks for sharing your story it really helps!


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## Quarter Pounder (Jun 17, 2011)

Sup depressedloser. I don't think there's anything wrong in avoiding people sometimes. I used to be far more sociable, but since I got DP/DR three years ago, I like to be alone much more. But still, if I don't socialize for a long time (and for me that's about 2 or 3 days) I start feeling crazy or some shit.
And it also depends on who are you planning to hang out with. If you feel comfortable around he/she/them or not matters A LOT.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

depressedloser said:


> I've been reading about DP here on the forum, and I've noticed that DP often seems to be caused by drug use or traumatic experiences. This has got me considering what if anything has caused my DP symptoms.
> 
> My best guess so far is that my DP is caused by social isolation or perhaps more accurately my attempts to escape social isolation. I've had recurring periods of sometimes severe social isolation since I was a teenager (I'm 24 now). During the worst of it a couple years back the only conversations I had were once a week phone conversations with my parents. I've been very fortunate to fall into a few good friendships in the past year or so, but my depression has actually gotten worse and now in the past half a year or so I've started experiencing DP / borderline psychotic symptoms. The only explanation I can see is that this is caused by the sort of sudden return to socializing (I have all sorts of social fears and hang ups and deficiencies that have made it hard). It's quite unfortunate because my natural inclination is now to return to social isolation (in isolation I was miserable but at least stable and in touch with reality), and although I know it's only a defense mechanism I find myself being antisocial. This has given rise to a negative feedback loop of sorts, making everything worse.
> 
> Anyone experiencing something similar?


Hey, what about changing your nickname? It makes me sad to see it cause I know how it feels. I think that by just changing your nickname, it will make you feel somewhat better.

I can totally relate to what you wrote. I was always very shy and with low self confidence. Despite it I was quite popular as a kid. Something changed as I turned 13. I started thinking about the future, and suddenly I got very scared cause I realized how quiet I am and how everything scares me. I started thinking way too much, also about reality, universe,etc. In a way I know it won't end good. In home things were getting worse all the time. At some point my best friend decided she doesn't want to be friends anymore. It broke my heart completely. I got more depressed and anxious but still not too serious. As a teenager I always had my group of friends but I wasn't very popular. I isolated myself lots of times cause I didn't feel like going out. I enjoyed my alone time. Sometimes I didn't go cause I was afraid from all kind of things. Every time some other weird thing scared me. I missed 2 school trips because of fear of getting sick. Also I always hated to go to a place with too many people. It made me anxious. Sometimes just going outside made me scared. So I used isolation a lot too. At the hard times of my mom (she suffered from neurological illness that made her psychotic as well)I couldn't isolate myself because sometimes I just had to escape to my friends, every time someone else. I still felt kinda isolated though. I'm sure I have some social anxiety. No doubt. I still prefer to isolate myself many times from different reasons. I still regret I didn't go out much more as teenager cause I think it just made my situation worse. I don't know if that's the reason to my DP but it wasn't good. Yeah, it's important to socialize but it isn't that simple, I know.


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## Guest (Sep 8, 2011)

I can identify. You start anticipating things going wrong in a social situation, so you start isolating yourself and you get caught in the old loop:
Belief/fear: effects behaviour: effects outcome: reinforces belief/fear etc.
I completely isolated myself due to extreme anxiety and believe me it's not good to leave it so long you find you no longer have any social circles to get back into.

There's an NLP technique you might try called anchoring. You think of a positive, resourceful state and "Anchor" it to a physical cue so that you can recall it at an appropriate time. 
Hopefully you have had at least one relationship in your life, maybe an old friend or relative with whom you were at ease and comfortable just being yourself - if you havn't then just imagine how that would be, how good it would feel. You feel totally secure in that persons company, you trust them completely, and you enjoy being around them and they you. You might imagine how good it would feel to see them now and its smiles all round and you're having a great time. Use your imagination, include your senses and make it really real so you feel it now. You might expand on this theme and imagine walking into a party of old friends. You know everyone and they know you. You feel great, totally at ease. You're mingling, chatting, laughing - you're the star of the show.
Really build this positive state up as much as you can, then "anchor" it by squeezing your thumb against a finger. Hold the squeeze as you feel these positive feelings. Practice this so that you make the association between squeezing your thumb and finger together and feeling these feelings.

When your mind has made this connection, and you enter into a social situation, whether it's someone you know or someone you dont, you can do this to recall this state which will help you be positive and get the most out of the situation.

In short, its bringing the feelings/behaviours you have around someone you already know to meetings with people you dont. Of course, you are far more likely to get a positive responce from people if you do, and that sets up a positive loop.
Some people are always going to be rude or unfriendly but remind yourself it's their problem not yours, and alot of people are friendly. But most are just reactionary, meaning that they will usually respond in the way you respond to them. So if you are positive the vast majority of people will respond positively to you. If ya see what I meen.

Anyway, its just what sprang to mind.


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## Quarter Pounder (Jun 17, 2011)

Lol I just realized, this thread is 2 years old...


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## hurricane12 (May 22, 2008)

i think isolation can cause dp from the lack of stimulation. like when you go to a new place u always feel a little dped until it becomes familiar. the more new place you see and the more you go out the better the stimulation and the less dped u feel.

i always felt a little dped cause as a kid i never went out. i had no siblings and i just stayed home and watched tv and play games all day. i think that may have affected my brain development.


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## Guest (Sep 9, 2011)

Quarter Pounder said:


> Lol I just realized, this thread is 2 years old...


Yeah, I kept meaning to reply but, you know how it is...what with one thing and another! Still, he's only had to wait 2 years for some of these replys, so better late than never!









I wonder if he's still feeling isolated? Anyway, I guess its one of those topics thats always relevant for people.


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## trey (Mar 1, 2015)

i was a popular kid in middle school and at the start of highschool i got acne and started isolating myself heavy. im now a 11th grader and i got dp last summer after i smoked weed. with dp i dont even care about my acne anymore as i have a bigger problem. so we're in the same boat bud


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## seerelated (Mar 16, 2015)

I've been thinking the same thing. Over the years, I've slowly but surely isolated myself from everyone in my life. I barely have any contact with anyone besides work, where I speak to just a couple people here and there. And the more I think about my DP, the more I think that if I could just find some friends again, that I wouldn't feel so out of touch. I think I feel like I'm dreaming/not real, because I have no real contact with anyone. I didn't have this problem until after I had really eliminated everyone from my life. And I feel that beyond my fear/sadness/etc is a very strong desire to just have some friends, people who care.. which is probably what lead me to this forum.


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## seerelated (Mar 16, 2015)

They say that people who go to space, and have very limited/no contact with other people, also experience a sensation of dreaming or not being alive. I can't think of the name off the top of my head.


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## trey (Mar 1, 2015)

seerelated said:


> I've been thinking the same thing. Over the years, I've slowly but surely isolated myself from everyone in my life. I barely have any contact with anyone besides work, where I speak to just a couple people here and there. And the more I think about my DP, the more I think that if I could just find some friends again, that I wouldn't feel so out of touch. I think I feel like I'm dreaming/not real, because I have no real contact with anyone. I didn't have this problem until after I had really eliminated everyone from my life. And I feel that beyond my fear/sadness/etc is a very strong desire to just have some friends, people who care.. which is probably what lead me to this forum.


try facebooking some old friends or emailing. im still in highschool so i have the chance to see my old friends all in one place


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