# a stranger in a world youve known forever



## savana (Nov 17, 2010)

depersonizilation. a word that haunts all of us that are cursed with this disorder. it causes us to be distant from our loved ones, distant from ourselves, distant from the whole world. looking at everything as if it was the first time you have ever seen, just because how different everything seems. can barely go outside because when your outside its the worst. everything so dreamy, that you cant even explain it in words. no one understands, no doctors, no therapist, nobody. expect for those that have it of course. going slowly insane, although your really not, it feels like one day you will wake up and be totally physco. crying for hours straight just because sometimes i dont even know who i am. i dont feel like myself and that scares me. im possitive you can all relate.

no need to keep explaining it because all of you have been through hell next to me. i just want to hear succes stories of being cured. i want to know how to cope with this because sometimes i feel like just giving up, and speding the rest of my life in my bed. but i refuse to do that. i mean i read of people being cured after they stop obbessing over it. honestly i have spent about 2 weeks not even thinking about it. but yet i still have it. just someone help.


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## el_kapitano (Aug 21, 2010)

savana said:


> honestly i have spent about 2 weeks not even thinking about it. but yet i still have it. just someone help.


It takes much more than 2 weeks to recover. It is long process, but you must not lose hope. Remove fear, worry and "what if" and you're on the right way to recovery. Socializing, distraction etc. etc. Ofcourse, you'll still have awful days, but it's all part of recovery. I know it's hard... trust me. I'm even working for a few months and most of the time I don't have a time to think about my DR and it's still there, but it's still slightly better than before... like it is very very very very very slowly fade away... then it comes back... then it it's better and every day is different.


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## birdiehead (Apr 19, 2010)

savana said:


> depersonizilation. a word that haunts all of us that are cursed with this disorder. it causes us to be distant from our loved ones, distant from ourselves, distant from the whole world. looking at everything as if it was the first time you have ever seen, just because how different everything seems. can barely go outside because when your outside its the worst. everything so dreamy, that you cant even explain it in words. no one understands, no doctors, no therapist, nobody. expect for those that have it of course. going slowly insane, although your really not, it feels like one day you will wake up and be totally physco. crying for hours straight just because sometimes i dont even know who i am. i dont feel like myself and that scares me. im possitive you can all relate.
> 
> no need to keep explaining it because all of you have been through hell next to me. i just want to hear succes stories of being cured. i want to know how to cope with this because sometimes i feel like just giving up, and speding the rest of my life in my bed. but i refuse to do that. i mean i read of people being cured after they stop obbessing over it. honestly i have spent about 2 weeks not even thinking about it. but yet i still have it. just someone help.


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## birdiehead (Apr 19, 2010)

i feel for you . sorry if that sounds weak. but i do suffer from emotional numbness. and i'm not the best writer. it seems like everybody here suffers from different symptoms. dp/dr can be connected to other mental illnesses or stand alone. i'm my situation i have no other mental illnesses. the one thing you said that really hit me was not knowing who you are. i feel like that all the time. sometimes i get these bouts where all i know is my name but i feel totally disconnected from everything in the world. i was in the hospital for 2 weeks in the summer. i tried new meds and things got really bad. i thought i'd never come back.

that's amazing you haven't thought about it for 2 weeks. for me it's all day every day. i might forget it for a few minutes but the rest of my time i just consider myself "a mental illness" not even a person. this disorder is amazingly fucked up. almost science fiction. i don't know what i'm trying to say, just that i feel bad for you. things that help for me..klonipin, i take a small dose of luvox and anafranil. opiates really take it away. but that's because the make you happy and not worry about anything.

we just gotta be strong and hang in there. i just wait for the small moments of clarity i get. i've had it for 17 years. it got worse this last summer.

the worst part for me? i feel like i'm not even living my life. i want intimate relationships but i don't feel confident in my identity.


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## savana (Nov 17, 2010)

birdiehead said:


> i feel for you . sorry if that sounds weak. but i do suffer from emotional numbness. and i'm not the best writer. it seems like everybody here suffers from different symptoms. dp/dr can be connected to other mental illnesses or stand alone. i'm my situation i have no other mental illnesses. the one thing you said that really hit me was not knowing who you are. i feel like that all the time. sometimes i get these bouts where all i know is my name but i feel totally disconnected from everything in the world. i was in the hospital for 2 weeks in the summer. i tried new meds and things got really bad. i thought i'd never come back.
> 
> that's amazing you haven't thought about it for 2 weeks. for me it's all day every day. i might forget it for a few minutes but the rest of my time i just consider myself "a mental illness" not even a person. this disorder is amazingly fucked up. almost science fiction. i don't know what i'm trying to say, just that i feel bad for you. things that help for me..klonipin, i take a small dose of luvox and anafranil. opiates really take it away. but that's because the make you happy and not worry about anything.
> 
> ...


17 years? holy shit, i can barely handle it for a couple months. I know like it feels like this is not even me in my body. I dont have the same thoughts as i use to. I say things to people i would never say before. I get mad so easy, I barely have any friends anymore because of this. There are times i cant even make it to school, because Im so fucked up at the time. Im almost failing the 8th grade because of how much school i missed. Im failing every class as well, which i usually get straight a's. like, this dp has overcome me, literally. i cant even look someone in the fucking eyes. and do you think i should go to the doctors about this? im 13 years old so i dont know how serious they are going to take me. i already told my mother and she laughed in my face. haha, that was a great feeling. like i dont know what to do my anxiety eats me alive everyday. well, thank you for replying all of you are in my prayers every night, and I hope to god all of us cure from this.. this is no way to live.


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## meta_synthesis (Nov 27, 2010)

savana said:


> depersonizilation. a word that haunts all of us that are cursed with this disorder. it causes us to be distant from our loved ones, distant from ourselves, distant from the whole world. looking at everything as if it was the first time you have ever seen, just because how different everything seems. can barely go outside because when your outside its the worst. everything so dreamy, that you cant even explain it in words. no one understands, no doctors, no therapist, nobody. expect for those that have it of course. going slowly insane, although your really not, it feels like one day you will wake up and be totally physco. crying for hours straight just because sometimes i dont even know who i am. i dont feel like myself and that scares me. im possitive you can all relate.
> 
> no need to keep explaining it because all of you have been through hell next to me. i just want to hear succes stories of being cured. i want to know how to cope with this because sometimes i feel like just giving up, and speding the rest of my life in my bed. but i refuse to do that. i mean i read of people being cured after they stop obbessing over it. honestly i have spent about 2 weeks not even thinking about it. but yet i still have it. just someone help.


You have such a beautiful future ahead of you, if you only knew.


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