# I recovered. Maybe this can give you some hope



## Dhj86 (Oct 20, 2010)

Evening all.

My name is James and i have recovered from DP.

I was struck by DP about 3 - 3.5 years ago. I was away for the weekend, visiting my old friends from university and we were partying i.e drinking and doing cocaine. I think i had stayed up all night taking it on the friday and continued on the saturday night.
I felt o.k but when i woke up for work on the monday morning i felt very, very strange. Words can't even begin to describe it but unfortunately you all know how it feels!

Everything looked different, my reflection freaked me out, the sight of my own arms and legs freaked me out, the sky looked crazy, i had visual static, tinnitus and i just didn't feel like myself.

I went to work as usual but the anxiety grew stronger and stronger, going from a racing heartbeat to a full on panic attack.

And that was that. The feeling stayed for a long time. It changed over time to be honest. At first it was all i thought about. I would spend all day googling the symptoms, watching youtube videos and browsing this forum. I use to search endlessly for recovery stories just to give me some hope and if i found one i would read it over and over again. I used to fantasise about writing my own recovery story now here i am 

My mind went blank after a while. Probably as a defence mechanism from the anxiety. This lasted for a good year or so and was even worse than the constant worrying. I'm ok now though.

There's no quick solution to this. The true cure is TIME. It's probably a cliche on this forum but cliches are usually true. You've just got to dig your heels in and get on with your life.

That's exactly what i did. I didn't take any medications. I would advise against them but if you need a bit of help in the early stages when the anxiety is at it's worst then go for it. When you are new to DP it is truly terrifying but you do get used to it and learn how to cope.

Don't stop smoking if you're new to it as well. So many people say it will help but it's complete bullshit. If you quit smoking your DP will go through the roof. I'm not saying keep smoking forever just postpone quitting for a while.

You've just got to keep going. It takes time. Doesn't happen over night. First you can barely cope. Then you learn to cope but are still anxious and depressed but it gets easier and easier and when it gets easier you think about it less. This is when recovery really begins. It took me 2.5 years to get to this point.

Find your coping mechanisms. Stay DISTRACTED. Try not too spend too long on this forum. Learn to play the guitar or something.

Don't be discouraged by the lack of recovery stories. People just move on and stop visiting. Proof of this is that i don't recognise any of the usernames from when i used to come on all the time. Make sure though that you come back and leave your story WHEN you recover!(very important)

That's about it really. I still have visual snow and tinnitus and even the odd moment of dp here and there. I know what your thinking, i not really recovered 100% blah, blah, blah but trust me when i say this i am absolutely fine. I'm a fucking black belt in handling DP and the short bursts don't even phase me.

I know this is a bit scatty and not very well written but it's late and i'm typing on my iphone. I just wanted to get my story out, give a few tips and to give you guys a bit of hope as i remember how the recovery threads used to help me. I won't be on here very often but will check back occasionally so feel free to ask me any questions.

Stay distracted and be patient. Everyone heals in their own time. Everyone is unique.

Good night and good luck

James


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## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

It doesn't sound at all like you are recovered. Distracting yourself from your issues doesn't do anything it will just further repress the issue. Yeah you probably got a lot better at handling the symptoms of your emotional issues but it seems like the problem is still there.


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## Loveisthekey (Nov 18, 2013)

CharlieFreak said:


> It doesn't sound at all like you are recovered. Distracting yourself from your issues doesn't do anything it will just further repress the issue. Yeah you probably got a lot better at handling the symptoms of your emotional issues but it seems like the problem is still there.


There is no problem. You feel this way because it's for your own good. Be in peace with it, because there is no way you will start feeling better by trying to feel better. There is only one advice and it is to really live with it. It took me two months and I no longer worry about it. Life seems dull, but it's just a state of mind and as the time goes I will feel better. Use this as a time to think about what's wrong in your life and bring a change. In my case I completely quit marijuana and ended a relationship that I wasn't happy in. I know that you might feel that you don't know how it is to be normal. But it is normal, just as you could never know what it feels like to have DP when you are normal. Because it is a state of mind and you can't just jump into another. Accept, be in peace and focus on your life. It is a wonderful life and you will feel it again, just understand what DP is and learn from it. Love is the key!


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

CharlieFreak said:


> It doesn't sound at all like you are recovered. Distracting yourself from your issues doesn't do anything it will just further repress the issue. Yeah you probably got a lot better at handling the symptoms of your emotional issues but it seems like the problem is still there.


Recovery from dp means symptom free, not driving a Ferrari to a billionaire's mansion while banging Megan Fox.
we all still have issues, it doesn't mean that we have to solve each & every one of them to shake the dp off.

For example- I still have this fcked up thinking pattern where I believe people are hating me right from the start before they know me and my mission is to get their love, BUT I am symptoms free- recovered, 100%. It means that life are 1000 folds easier now. 
Dp made me very aware of these issues. For me recovery was gaining awareness about them, owning them and "stepping into the fire" despite of them (e.g. going to a house party DESPITE my sa, trying 2 kiss a girl, etc).

My point is: you can say he is not recovered all u want, but he is at a place where many dp sufferers want to be in. He feels good.

cheers


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## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

heartless said:


> Recovery from dp means symptom free, not driving a Ferrari to a billionaire's mansion while banging Megan Fox.
> we all still have issues, it doesn't mean that we have to solve each & every one of them to shake the dp off.
> For example- I still have this fcked up thinking pattern where I believe people are hating me right from the start before they know me and my mission is to get their love, BUT I am symptoms free- recovered, 100%. It means that life are 1000 folds easier now.
> Dp made me very aware of these issues. For me recovery was gaining awareness about them, owning them and "stepping into the fire" despite of them (e.g. going to a house party DESPITE my sa, trying 2 kiss a girl, etc).
> ...


Yes he is in a great place. He is worthy of giving advice to others and he should be. But it's not fair for him to tell a community of people of sufferers that he has the key to freedom of complete recovery when he still has a lot to work on. I'm glad that he doesn't deal with all of the things he has moved past. I was at that point once and made a VERY similar post swaying I had recovered. this is out right wrong though. There is a whole new level of recovery where you experience complete freedom of all fears and strange sensations. It's very hard work but not man people on this site re willing to put in that work. It's a shame because you can achieve so much when you recover


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## JJ123D (Dec 6, 2013)

CharlieFreak, did you make a post about your recovery? If yes can you link me, and if no can you make one.. you seem to know well about full recovery. From what I read in OP's thread, I felt that I could reach that some day, and that yea he recovered, ie went back to being how he was without DP ruining his life.


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