# Here's my story...



## lilames (May 29, 2007)

Hi- I'm new to this site. I am pretty sure I have DR/DP. I used to experience it from time to time in high school in certain classes, especially ones with bright lights, but it would always go away after I left the class room or if we watched a movie in the class that day and the teacher shut the lights off. I don't understand why lights make it much more severe. Anyways, one day in college, I suddenly felt the DP/DR feeling and I was thinking to myself 'oh no' because I haven't experienced it in a while. I was so scared and I couldn't wait to get out of the class because I figured it would go away when I left. However, it didn't go away and I had another class after it, which was a 2 hour lab. I was terrified the whole time in lab and I didn't understand what was going on. I never felt it this bad before. Everyone looked fake, I felt fake myself. I almost felt like I wasn't there in the class. But then I heard someone say my name, so I knew I was in fact still there. I rushed through the lab because as soon as your finished with the lab you can leave the class. When I was walking to my car, I still felt the horrible feeling and I couldn't understand why it wasn't going away. I was scared for my life, but I figured once I got home, the feeling would go away. I was so scared driving, and I couldn't wait until I got home, luckily it wasn't too long of a drive. But it didn't go away. I started skipping a lot of classes, and refused to drive because of it. My parents didn't understand when I finally told them. I only told them what I was experiencing because I was missing a lot of classes because of it and they were worried. I now see a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but they aren't of much help yet. The psychiatrist prescribed me klonopin and at first it worked a little, but now I don't think it works anymore. It doesn't take away my fears of the DP/DR. Whenever I take it, I still am scared to go outside and do things, or go into stores because the feeling just gets much more severe outside and in stores. I don't know what to do. I can't live my whole life feeling this way, and I have to start up my junior year of college in September, but I don't know how I will manage to do that if I still feel this way. I know that this can't hurt me, because I've been living with it since about March, this constant feeling, and now it's almost June. I just feel like my parents don't understand though--they keep bugging me why I don't want to go out for a walk with them sometimes, or why I don't want to do this, or do that. And they just drive me nuts because I know that they'll never understand how I feel unless they exerience it. They think it's just anxiety--but the thing is I don't feel anxious anymore--I just feel the DR/DP all the time. I don't know what else to do.


----------



## Hopefull (Dec 1, 2006)

Hello lilames,

Welcome to our community  
Look, try not to worry yourself to much about this because it just seems to make it worse. Have a look around the site and you will see that there have been people that have escaped this cage we call DP/DR. There is also a lot of coping methods that people have had success with. You just have to be patient and try to find what works best for you. I am sure you will.

If you need any assistance just ask.

Bailee


----------



## forrest (Jun 27, 2007)

I am glad to have found this site; for many years I thought I was the only person alive that had this problem. I finally found that I could cope using meditation and many of the answers I need though the study of Buddhism. I actually had to Create a new "self" over time. Not an easy task but I had to do it to maintain my sanity


----------

