# men and marriage



## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I had a disturbing thought today. And I'm not sure why it was disturbing really but its been bugging me. I was talking to a guy today at lunch who was talking about an argument he had just had with his girlfriend. And he mentioned about his friends relationships, "This is when we're all settling down you know, to get married." And I remember a sex and the city episode where Miranda said men have a light that goes on when they're ready to get married and so they find someone to marry and marry that person. Unlike women who marry whenever if we fall in love. I know it sounds stupid, but do men reach an age where they say, "I need to get married." And then just marry whoever the best person is at the time? I imagine some women may do this too, but I know for me, I see marriage as a long way off, mainly because I'm single and don't see that changing any time soon. Plus, I need to finish school and get my career going and all. But what if I get old and all the men's "lights" have already gone off and I missed it and am left with no one? So do you guys just decide you need to get married and find someone or just marry who you are with at the moment because it's the "right time"? And for the women out there, leave someone for me!


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I know I sound like an idiot wasting all this energy thinking about relationships but I like to plan ahead, lol.


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## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

deleted


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2005)

I could answer - but my answer will be for only me.

Of course there will be men for you, whether you're 30, 40, or 80.

No-one is the same - for every man who wants to get married to get it 'done with' there will be one who feels the same as you.


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## mcsiegs (Apr 27, 2005)

I am 29, 30 in October. I am not getting married until I am ready. I don't feel as though there is an age that I need to get married by. At the end of the day, I need to wake up next to this person in love, and not just in a state of "ok, this person is always going to be there, and that makes me feel safe".


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## Byrde (Aug 10, 2004)

:wink:


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## Guest (Jun 11, 2005)

In my opinion, most of the "Reasons" any of us do ANYthing have very little to do with why we actually do them.

"reasons" are the justifications our Conscious Mind offers itself and the world for things we FEEL LIKE doing. So if a man I loved proposed to me, the last thing I'd take as the REAL reason was the one he presented, lol

It's like the opposite example: if you really love Bob, and Bob just can't commit...he might say "oh, I love you so much...but see, I just have this issue with marriage, I'll never be able to do it because it's so artificial, a piece of paper, etc.., but that doesn't mean I don't adore you and want to be with you the rest of my life.."
So you leave him, maybe and then a year later you see him in the mall and he's with his new WIFE! LOL

Maybe, just maybe, the "REASON" he didn't want to commit and conform before was that YOU weren't the person he really wanted.

But the larger and most useful issue here is that we are TOO DESPERATE about trying to figure out the world before we live in it. We want answers ahead of time, to understand what tomorrow brings to prevent surprises. If that's so, you'll never make it in this world.

Learn to trust yourself to HANDLE life's surprises, not try to always see around the bend before life arrives.

Peace,
Janine


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## Axel19 (Aug 11, 2004)

I think both men and women do this. Sometimes we marry for love, sometimes for other reasons, it's not a male or female exclusive thing. Men and women aren't _that_ different.


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