# my daughter



## Guest (Jan 11, 2006)

Well, let me start from the beggining, I have had constant dp/dr for about 2 monthes now. My main questiion is... I had found out my 4 year old daughter had been molested by her grandfather about 2 weeks before I started having dp/dr... I remember when I was younger my grandfather touching my breasts and making me feel really uncomfortable. I just wonder if what happen to my daughter might have brought out something he or someone else might have done to me when I was really young, is that possible?I have got to where I stay up all night just so I can sleep all day to avoid being in the light, I can't stand being in a room that is lit up, I havent even let the house since december 3rd...My boyfreind said that when I am sleeping I start crying and screaming, and I won't let him touch me... could that have something do do with it to? I am sorry to just keep going on and on.. any opinions on this?

I have been taking St.John's wort for about 3 weeks.. im not sure if it is helping or not...anyone else taking it?


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Hi Stephanie,

I think people's post tend to get lost up here. I am so sorry to hear of the situation with your daughter. I do believe this has thrown you in to some kind of emotional state, just what I cannot say.

Maybe you should post this on the main forum.

terri*


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## Luka (Aug 30, 2005)

I guess what happened to your daughter brought very strong feelings (feelings of which you was or was not aware) to the surface and this is resulting in your DP/DR, crying and being scared at night. Maybe you've dissociated traumatic expierences or maybe you did not. Perhaps time will tell. But don't start digging, just go with the flow and work through the things that come to you. I wish you and your daughter all the strenght to deal with this. I was molested by my grandfather too, so I know what you're going through.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

Luka said:


> I was molested by my grandfather too, so I know what you're going through.


Luka, what did you do about that?


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## Luka (Aug 30, 2005)

I got therapy and worked through alot of things. The therapy's main focuss was my dissociative identitydisorder, but my (dissociated) trauma's got attention too. I didn't confront my grandfather. At that time I didn't want that and now I don't need it.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2006)

Yeah, if you have someone (therapist?) who cares about your pain, then confronting the abuser often isn't necessary. I'm really glad to read that you've worked on your trauma, hope you continue to get better and happier.


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## Luka (Aug 30, 2005)

> Yeah, if you have someone (therapist?) who cares about your pain, then confronting the abuser often isn't necessary. I'm really glad to read that you've worked on your trauma, hope you continue to get better and happier.


Thank you  Alot of people (people who have never been abused, ha!) say that confrontation and forgiveness is essential to getting to terms with your trauma's. I disagree with them. The most important thing is to deal with your past in your own way and in your own time. Be yourself and don't do anything, don't force yourself, just because other people or selfhelp books tell you so. The one thing that is essential in my opinion is to work through your trauma's so that you can be happy, healthy and function well in daily life. The trauma's made a mess of your past, don't let it make a mess of your future too.


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## theatreSpell (Jan 18, 2006)

dear Stephanie,

i got my first DP/DR episode as a result of something very disturbing. it was nothing physical. it was completely mental. i got my first DP/DR after my cousin and I had a very disturbing conversation where she told me things that my mind couldn't handle. it was sexualy related. she was 15 i was 12. i thought my mind snapped. i couldn't believe it actually had a limit for what it could accept and not accept. this was something it did not want to accept and it didn't know how to deal with it. i loved, and still love my cousin very much. i think it was my closeness to her that made me extremely vulnerable and made me think that i lost my mind.

i think i might understand what you are going through. you will get better. you have to accept what happened. by accept i don't mean forgive, i mean just digest it. it's like your mind is vomiting right now. but you have to calm down. and just say to yourself - yes, it did happen, but i am stronger than this, i can live with this, i will not let this bring me down, there are other people out there like me and i am not alone, i am strong and i will make it. You are not alone. you have to take care of yourself and love yourself. and as you can see there are people here on this forum that understand you.

i have a few friends who have confessed to me about being molested as children. it's highly disturbing, but life goes on, it will be ok, people get over it, they regain their sanity.

i don't have DP/DR any more. it does go away.


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## eclecticsheep (Sep 4, 2005)

I don't think that something similar has happened to you.
Although I do believe that what you learned has caused you dp.
And i believe tha reason is because you let yourself feel an increadible amount of guilt you couldn't handle. That's why you went into dp, to protect yourself from this bad emotions. You are not a bad person, You have to believe this and let yourself cry, and forgive you.
I suggest psychotherapy to help you work thru your emotions.


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