# something just didn't feel right



## zombo143 (Oct 30, 2007)

here's my story:

3 months ago, I used MDMA(ecstasy). The trip was intense, but my crash was 10 x more intense. I usually never crashed on ecstsay, so i was fairly new to this extreme depression and constant BLAH feeling. A week later, i smoked some marijuana with one of my closest friends.

I thought this would make the depression a lot easier, but it did the exact opposite Right as I started to get high, something did not feel right. I had a full blown ecstasy flash back. Everything was enhanced, touching anything felt weird, etc. This gave me a huge panic attack and for the next 5-6 hours my friend was talking to me and taking care of me. I fell asleep at my friend's house cause I was too scared to go to my own alone.

The following morning, I started feeling incredibly weird. I was asking my friend if the sky looked fake that day, but he said I was just tired or something. I brushed it off and then I started noticing that EVERYTHING looked fake. I couldn't sense anything at all, it was like my world was grey or 2d. This feeling went on and is still going on today.

While doing some random browsing through wikipedia, I came across the page derealization and depersonalization. I felt so familiar to the symptoms, so i googled "depersonalization" and ended up here. I just wanted to ask the members here, who are familiar with dp and dr, to diagnose me.

Here are a list of what I'm dealing with:

Everything for me feels very 2d. Meaning that i'll look at something, but I just won't get that special feeling anymore.

Everything looks fake for some reason. Not exactly fake, but something is missing from it, which makes it SEEM fake.

Sometimes when I'm having a conversation with someone, i concentrate on my talking because it sounds so strange.

I also have a question. Is drug induced DR/DP different than ones caused by "natural" or real life situations that triggered it?

I'd also like to add that I only feel this way when I concentrate it, or point it out. Sort of like confirmation bias. There are times when I feel all right.

I'm very happy that I found this community because I thought I was the only person suffering from something like this. I felt so lost and thought I could get no help until now. Thanks.


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## DreamLife (Sep 16, 2007)

Zombo, it sounds like derealization to me, but I don't really struggle with that, just depersonalization. My surroundings seem real, but I seem fake.

Had you ever experienced anything like that before taking the ecstasy? The first time I took ecstasy I had the worst crash I can imagine. It felt like every ounce of serotonin was gone from my brain. But I'm pretty sure I've had DP my whole life, so I didn't notice any real changes after that (because I was already used to feeling fake) and kept taking ecstasy (as well as other drugs).


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## ohelp (May 22, 2007)

hi there,
basically, derealization is how you feel about the things around you while depersonalization is an alteration of how you percieve yourself. reading your post i would say you experience both. have you seen a doctor yet?


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