# Do I have depersonalization?



## ryan7696 (Nov 14, 2011)

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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

Shikarex said:


> Basically, I've been having some symptoms which I'll list below in a second, and I googled around and found depersonalization which seemed to fit into how I feel quite a lot.
> Basically for the past few months I've had a feeling that nothing is real. It's kind of like being in a game, and I could just sit and stare at something for ages just in my own little world. I often touch and stroke things just to give myself a sense of being in some sort of reality, yet I can't come to believe it in a way. I look in the mirror and just stare at myself for minutes, and I can't quite recognise myself. Time doesn't go by quickly when it's happening, but things that happened a day ago will feel like a week ago, and so on. Also, my memory is terrible. I don't know if this fits into depersonalization but my memory should be fine as I'm only 15, but I'll ask people questions and they'll be like "You asked me that yesterday..." and I do it a lot, and I also have a lot of false memories. One of these being that when I was younger I was in a car with my family, and we bought a pack of biscuits and when I opened it a spider crawled out, and at the time I told my mum this, but when I mentioned it to her at a later point when I was about 14 she said it never happened, yet I can remember it happening. None of my memories are vivid, they all feel so vague and distant, and recently I've started having minor hallucinations, such as the worst being a nail falling from my ceiling, and I saw it in the corner of my eye and heard it hit the grown, but when I looked down there was nothing there, nor a nail in my ceiling in the first place, but usually I just see things dropping or flying past in the corner of my eye. Earlier I was outside in my back garden in the dark, and inside the lights were on, and I wasn't concentrating and suddenly everything got brighter from inside enough to flick my attention to it, and I struggled to remember what lights had been on and if one had magically turned on. If this isn't depersonalization, what could it be? And if it is depersonalization (or possibly could be), what should I do?
> Also, while writing that post I had another minor hallucination of a fly flying from the corner of my eye to behind my laptop, but I could tell it wasn't real if you get me? It's all getting so odd.


Ok from my point of you I would say yes it sounds like you have DP. But i'm not a doctor so I can't say you definitely have Depersonalization Disorder.

Your "hallucinations" don't sound like hallucinations. They sound more like things flashing by in the corner of your eye which is completely normal and easily noticed in this state. If you said you saw God come out of the walls, well then there might be a problem.

I would go to a doctor, which is what i did just to see if they can rule out anything else. And go to the getting started section on the homepage to get started.


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## ryan7696 (Nov 14, 2011)

Jayd said:


> Ok from my point of you I would say yes it sounds like you have DP. But i'm not a doctor so I can't say you definitely have Depersonalization Disorder.
> 
> Your "hallucinations" don't sound like hallucinations. They sound more like things flashing by in the corner of your eye which is completely normal and easily noticed in this state. If you said you saw God come out of the walls, well then there might be a problem.
> 
> I would go to a doctor, which is what i did just to see if they can rule out anything else. And go to the getting started section on the homepage to get started.


The only reason I thought they were hallucinations is because I've never noticed them before, but I'll just keep track of them and see if they get worse. Also, I'm going to the doctors next thursday for a different thing, so I'll bring it up then. Thanks!


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## anarkii (Jul 2, 2011)

Your hallucinations don't sound like hallucinations but more like basic exhaustion symptoms. Are you having a healthy sleep pattern ?

Also the first part of your post does sound quite a bit like DP but i could be anything, just see you doctor about it.


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## ryan7696 (Nov 14, 2011)

anarkii said:


> Your hallucinations don't sound like hallucinations but more like basic exhaustion symptoms. Are you having a healthy sleep pattern ?
> 
> Also the first part of your post does sound quite a bit like DP but i could be anything, just see you doctor about it.


Ah that would make a lot of sense. I go to school and have to get up at 7, and have trouble getting to sleep at night so don't usually fall asleep 'til 1-2ish. During the next holiday I have I'll try get back into a better sleeping pattern.


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## ryan7696 (Nov 14, 2011)

Also, I looked around and apparently weed can start off DP and I don't smoke weed but I smoked it maybe every weekend just sharing it with friends, and one weekend I had a whole one to myself and it all went weird. Everyone was talking but it felt like I wasn't there, all the words were just floating about in the air and I couldnt think straight. My memory is fucked, but I think it might of been since then that I've started having these symptoms. Is that a possibility? I'm going to the doctors on Thursday about it but cos I'm 15 and my mum will be there I can't really say I've smoked weed cos she'll go nuts. Will it matter if I just lie and say I haven't?


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## anarkii (Jul 2, 2011)

Shikarex said:


> Also, I looked around and apparently weed can start off DP and I don't smoke weed but I smoked it maybe every weekend just sharing it with friends, and one weekend I had a whole one to myself and it all went weird. Everyone was talking but it felt like I wasn't there, all the words were just floating about in the air and I couldnt think straight. My memory is fucked, but I think it might of been since then that I've started having these symptoms. Is that a possibility? I'm going to the doctors on Thursday about it but cos I'm 15 and my mum will be there I can't really say I've smoked weed cos she'll go nuts. Will it matter if I just lie and say I haven't?


we don't know your mom so we really can't give you any advice on that. I told my parents after i had a bad experience with weed when i was 15 (kicked off my DP) and they were really cool about it. Then again i am dutch and we tend to not make a big fuzz about those kind of things here. Floating words/sound sounds like a weed trip to me, but if that persists way beyond that trip it screams DP to me. When you go to doctor first let them try and figure things out. Tell them everything don't hide stuff like smoking weed.


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## ryan7696 (Nov 14, 2011)

anarkii said:


> we don't know your mom so we really can't give you any advice on that. I told my parents after i had a bad experience with weed when i was 15 (kicked off my DP) and they were really cool about it. Then again i am dutch and we tend to not make a big fuzz about those kind of things here. Floating words/sound sounds like a weed trip to me, but if that persists way beyond that trip it screams DP to me. When you go to doctor first let them try and figure things out. Tell them everything don't hide stuff like smoking weed.


I don't mean like literal floating words like hallucinations by the way, but just how it felt, as if instead of the words being absorbed into me like normal, they just stayed out there without me taking any of it in. And I think my mum might already know I've smoked weed though -crosses fingers-. I'll update you all after I go to the doctors on thursday, and thanks for all the help!


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