# Hey guys dp is back again and I guess it's not going anywhere so I need to deal with it



## leafjerky (Jul 24, 2015)

So I have a hard time remembering all of the details of the first time I went through this apparently it started summer before after my junior year (2010). My parents had just been divorced earlier that year and I was smoking a lot of pot. Anyways one night I decided to smoke the rest of what I had and had a super bad feeling. I closed my eyes and saw my heart beating and numbers coming out with heart rate and graphs and stuff. I was sweating, anxious, and thought I was going to die. Anyways next day I felt fine. Fast forward to Christmas 2010. The night before me and my friend were playing a game and I thought, "what if this is all a dream?" Christmas morning I woke up with this haze. This is the day I met our mutual enemy, dp/dr. I had seen a therapist at a church for a while and he helped. Eventually I was completely over it(I still don't remember feeling over it or when it occurred)! Or so I thought. Since then life has hit me as hard as, well, life. I have been in and out of school, only two years ago I committed to getting my degree. I worked 84 hours a week on an oil rig, I've conquered every math class offered by my college. Fast forward to mid June 2015 I'm playing runescape with a friend for most of the day, that night I lay in bed and start reading Jurassic Park (prepping for the Jurassic World movie), anyways I had this uneasy feeling and I thought "what if it's coming back?" The next day it just built up exponentially and I couldn't stop it my mind was running in circles! So here I am a month later feeling dp'ed. I question reality as usual and the purpose of life. Spiritual struggles etc. I'm moving to a larger university in August so I need to get my shit together. The only constant I have in my life is my girlfriend and she's very loving and supportive. Her, movies, comedy tv, and music calm me down the most. I just don't ever want to take any meds. I want to be my old self, the problem is I'm not even sure I know who he really was and if he was completely cured. I'm pretty sure I have very bad OCD also. I used to come here to read a lot back in that time so it's time I get used to having it. I know it's a disorder and I know I have it I just want to learn to live with it. Any suggestions? Similar experience?


----------



## dontquit (Jul 26, 2015)

You can beat it. You will beat it. It takes time and effort, you will reach the light at the and of this bullshit tunnel. My advice is to stay away from meds and continue to be YOU. never quit, never let it put you down and embrace it. Over time it will fade and your mind will conquer itself for good. Please be strong.


----------



## leafjerky (Jul 24, 2015)

Thank you for a kind reply , I'm trying it can be so overbearing sometimes. Last night I laid on the floor and cried asking god what is the point and what is the purpose. Sometimes its just so much to handle. It feels like I drank a tall glass of DP, DR, Depression, with a splash of existential crisis smoothie.


----------



## Allinthistogether (Aug 14, 2015)

Hey dude. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm 17, I've had dp/dr CONSISTENTLY for a little over a year. Mine is from my panic disorder , which has gotten significantly better. I used to also obsess over the purpose and point of my own life as well as life as a whole. You will learn to let that go as I did. Think of it this way: if you were never born, the entire world wouldn't be the same because of the chain reaction theory. Everyone's lives would be different. You have a purpose and so does this life. Tell yourself it's just the dp and anxiety making you think this way! It'll pass!!! Nothing is forever (even though it feels like we will feel this way forever, we WONT) PM me if you ever need someone


----------



## thistooshallpass (Jul 27, 2015)

Hey 

I've only had dp/dr for a little bit but you are going to be fine.  The dp/dr is a symptom of anxiety. It's not a lifelong disorder. This is a defense mechanism that your brain is using to protect itself from more stress. It's completely annoying and can cause so much depression but please don't even think that this is going to be your life or that you are going to have this for a long time. Try to distract yourself as much as you can and before you know it you will be out of this hole. I have horrific anxiety and bad pure o so I know how stupid that sounds but please just keep your head up and you'll be happy and healthy again before you know it.


----------



## leafjerky (Jul 24, 2015)

Thanks guys. I really wish there was more research and actually good medicine available for this. If it's caught early enough, it could save some kids a lot of stress or worse. But really your posts mean a lot. I just feel so stupid, I thought I licked it in highschool and here it is again like "hey you forgot about me huh?". DP is an asshole.


----------



## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Try to relax into it and know that it will pass the more u live alongside it and try not to fight it. If you have ever had a panic attack treat it like that . let it be there and wash through you without reacting to it. I know how hard this is and i was completely fine the last year only to be thrown into it again the last two weeks. Its heartnreaking but treat it like a life test. How great will you feel when you come through it again!


----------



## leafjerky (Jul 24, 2015)

Wow this is great. I didn't really expect much feedback. Glad to see there are supportive people on here. I'm going to try to be more active myself. I have a habit of joining forums and leeching information but never giving back. Thanks again. @katiej I do feel like it's a test and sometimes it makes me feel special like maybe it's going to get me somewhere I need to be. I still have spirituality issues and I refuse to be atheist. I'm scared of death and when I look around at all of the beauty on this earth, I just have to believe in god. Anyways all of that aside, thanks.


----------

