# Who supresses their Anger??



## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

Just wondering how many people really suppress their anger. I have been reading of the links between anger, depression and anxiety and perhaps resulting DP.


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## Guest (Jun 4, 2006)

I'm passive for the time being, till I start a assertive course. I suppress my anger in the past by making excuses for people who upset me.


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## walkingdead (Jan 28, 2006)

I cannot really get angery, just frustrated. Before DP I had a terrible temper.


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## kdogg1976 (Mar 15, 2006)

I repressed my anger from certian situations and delt with it in the wrong way taking it out on other people like my kids instead of the deserved resulting in stress because my kids dont deserve how i was treating them which resulted in dp now my dp is only really bad around my children..


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I rarely experience anger.

Sporadic, and really quite terrifying (to me), rage.


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## birdie (Aug 23, 2004)

Anger?I do get angry but trying to say " it's OK "even when I am steaming from inside.
Hard to understand?
It's even more dificult to do it,not just sayng it's OK - and not exploding.


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

I suppress and repress anger on a large scale and take it out on myself. That comes from a belief that angry people are bad and in fact I get quite frightened of anger, when I show it or when others show it. Interestingly I read about anger attacks the other day which have pretty much the same symptoms as panic attacks give or take a few.

Now I think the question should be, how do we feel about anger, people that express anger and how do we feel about ourselves when we feel, experience and express anger?

I was taught as a young child that it was not OK to express or feel anger, something that I am working on today. I am glad for the tools that are available to help me with this 

Jeremy


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## Guest (Jun 5, 2006)

Martinelv said:


> I rarely experience anger.
> 
> Sporadic, and really quite terrifying (to me), rage.


Martin, if I may comment on what you say here. I am actually surprised to hear this. What I see, anger is coming off of you in the majority of your posts. Has it ever ocurred to you that sarcasm and cynicism are forms of anger? They are. And many of your religion posts are full of rage. I think its interesting you dont notice this yourself.


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## Guest (Jun 5, 2006)

--


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## widescreened (Jun 22, 2005)

Me 2.Its called playing possum,ie playing dead.Like a person being attacked by a bear,if you play dead,the animal will leave you alone.Similarly,if you play dead or retreat into a passive shell,you will be safe,albiet in a horrible kind of way,just like dp!!

I find that when I work out,especially run,i feel anger and frustration brimming to the surface.This is my trigger.i feel much more alive after this happens,but I hate confronting people with anger,this ruins my day literally


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

walkingdead said:


> I cannot really get angery, just frustrated. Before DP I had a terrible temper.


yea same here i kinda had a temper too before dp, most of the times i would be mad at my brother or some kid i didn't like at work or my teams if they were playing horribly or stupid people, now i can't get mad at anything at all. my life has been such a rollercoaster now i'm stuck in this world of nothing, i would give anything to go back 2 years ago exactly, everything was going so well 2 years ago, 2 summers ago was one of the best most fun relaxing summers ever and i was real and felt a live and normal, now i just wish something felt real.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

That's an interesting point Wendy, but I have a clear distinction between rage and anger - rather, my feelings of rage and anger. I don't really remember, by my standards, reacting 'angrily' to something on the spiritual board, or this one. Sure, I use sarcasm a lot, and this is where we disagree. Sarcasm, whether you like it or not, is a form of wit. The lowest form, the highest form, who knows? Also, I think my frustration, particually on the spiritual forum, can be mistaken as anger. My rage, or more accurately, my capacity for rage, is something else. It terrifies me.

But perhaps you are right. Maybe I am angry all the time. Maybe it is my status quo, so unless I get really, really pi**ed, I don't notice it.

Thanks for pointing that out anyway. I'm now going to headbutt a wall for a hour. Burns off 130 calories. :wink:


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## Guest (Jun 6, 2006)

lol... martin, Im glad you didnt take my comments as criticism,as that was not how I meant it. Just as an observation.

Wit and humor and sarcasm can be used as defense mechanisms. There is healthy humor and wit. There is also unhealthy humor and wit and that is sarcasm. It is veiled in anger (dark humor). Sarcasm is a way to ward off feelings of real anger, rage and hurt. Dont get me wrong. When Im sarcastic I can have a lot of fun. But it has a bitter undertone. Thats how it feels at least. I am aware it comes from a place of pain or unexpressed anger, frustration, bitterness etc.

It makes sense. You say you are afraid of your own rage and anger. Sarcasm is a way to express it without being directly confronted with your anger and rage, but it doesnt mean this isnt there. On the contrary. And frustration is a feeling close to anger.

Hope I explained it well. But I sense your anger and rage, to me its coming though very clear.


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## Rozanne (Feb 24, 2006)

8)


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

Since dp I haven't felt real anger at anything much...I have largely shaken most of my dp symptoms and getting better by the day, and now find I get brief flashes of annoyance but they pass very quickly.

I find I don't place the same importance anymore on a lot of the things I used to get angry at.

I also used to be afraid of my potential rage...I only ever used to let it out when I was on my own, so I guess I have always suppressed my anger in the past when around other people.


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## chris51 (Mar 21, 2005)

I have only one anger......that is sceaming my head off and hitting something. It escalates that quickly for me.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

> Sarcasm is a way to express it without being directly confronted with your anger and rage, but it doesnt mean this isnt there


Absolutely. I am secretly incensed about just about everything. That fact that I have leaulemkia, that my grandmother has just passed away, my guilt at being a mental disaster zone and a burdon to my poor parents, that I have been shat on by a girlfriend, that my marriage ended in disaster, that I have been turned down for jobs, the lot....but haven't we all?

But better to express that anger, that frustration, as sarcasm, than to run down the street and rip off the head of the first person I see and spit down their throat.


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## bobbi (Jun 6, 2006)

I hold my frutration until I blow up in rage. I am always frustrated because I want to complete a task and it feels impossible because of DR. I end up thinking, "Bobbi, why can't you get with it? Are you that dumb, you stupid ****" Then I explode and try to punish myself by hurting myself. Then I feel guilty. Trying to break this cycle and be easier on myself. Having DR makes things 10X harder than normal. I need to give myself a break and realize that I need to work on it harder than normal people.
Bobbi


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Martin, 


> But better to express that anger, that frustration, as sarcasm, than to run down the street and rip off the head of the first person I see and spit down their throat.


I've tried that already and it doesnt work. Ripping off someone's head, I mean....I was still angry.

You see, although that's my incredibly feeble attempt at dark humor/sarcasm, its true - you cant use rage, the constant rage that you subsist on, the bread and butter of your life, and "spend" it. Its a hole in you that you keep digging. The more you use, the larger the hole. Sorry. I wish I could tell you something incredibly positive about it. I will at least tell you something clinical about it. It is LARGELY (not entirely, but largely) due to your temporal lobe problem. You have got to get on more than the Klonopin to even them out. I've seen absolute homicidal wrecks in psych hospitals worked wonders on by Tegretol. I really highly recommend you try it. Its the _best_, the absolute best in dealing with temporal lobe seizures. Now that being said, I'm going to move on to the unpleasant* part of this post. Please stop reading now, or let your morbid curiosity get the better of you. *Hint: Its about mysticism

You have a real problem with loneliness, Martin. This is why people's passing hits you hard...why you would rather live at your parent's house... it may even affect your romantic relationships. But your philosophical world is _built_ on the premise of loneliness. Not only that, but your problems. _You_ will figure them out. _You_ will scatter them to the winds. You exist in a perpetual state of solitude. It doesnt matter how many people you have around you - you are still lonely inside. Now that's something that Tegretol will not help you with. Escape Martin. The cosmos is not a void. Let down the walls of your heart and let Love enter it. Let in the eternal presence that keeps the laws of physics you cherish in motion. 
I respect your hatred for "God". I do. Its based on brilliant reasons. After all, I consider you to be a brilliant fellow. That being said, they're all balderdash, all smokscreens - you are jousting with a straw man. You hate religion and religiosity - well more power to you. They are human inventions. Attack them with all the power in you. But you do not hate God, nor can you - He is the one thing which will fill your void. That, and taking your friend Homey's advice and getting on a better epilepsy medicine. But even there, I am only a channel for God. A channel for the healing love that is in him, as any good physician should be. The healing and raising up of human nature is all He desires. I wish you

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2006)

miss_starling said:


> 8)


 8)



> But better to express that anger, that frustration, as sarcasm, than *to run down the street and rip off the head of the first person I see and spit down their throat*.


There are other options as well, a little less destructive. This is quite black and white. But I know, that sometimes (or often, I dont know really) defense mechanisms should stay in place as it can be the only crutch that keeps one alive, until one finds other (better) ways to deal with whats been warded off. Does that make sense?

And what Homeskooled says:



> its true - you cant use rage, the constant rage that you subsist on, the bread and butter of your life, and "spend" it. *Its a hole in you that you keep digging. The more you use, the larger the hole *. Sorry. I wish I could tell you something...


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

> It doesnt matter how many people you have around you - you are still lonely inside.


Wow...I was suprised at how hard that comment hit me Homeskooled. It wasn't even directed at me and yet I felt it. I often feel so lonely since my Mum died. It comes over me like a huge wave. Just this giant empty hole inside of me...(or maybe I'm inside of it) and in those moments, even though I know I have so many people to call on within my family and circle of friends, I feel so alone.

I felt a lot of rage and anger after my Mum died but now there is just that lonely feeling. I think though that my lonliness scares me a lot less than the rages I used to feel. I hated how angry I used to get (It was never when anyone else was around though). I used to get scared of what I was potentially capable of.


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## jeremy (Apr 28, 2006)

Yes thats a really great post homeskooled. I feel the loneliness is due to such a disconnection from our Higher Power, God, Christ, Spirit or whatever you may want to call it, by a large amount of unresoved emotional issues and emotions. I sort of see it as an onion. The more layers (issues) there are the further away we become from Spirit however on the other hand, the more peeling we do (resolving the issues and emotions) the closer we become and thus we feel less lonely. I do not believe that we have to be religious to be spiritual however, and in fact I think a lot of religions have got the right idea but do not execute them very well at all.

Jeremy


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Do you know, this is one thing I am not sure about - loneliness. (NOTE THE TIME AND DATE!)

I have never really experienced loneliness. Believe it or not, I am so agitated when I am alone, even on a rainy sunday evening, that I go out and find something to do, someone to talk to. I've always equated this with my hatred of boredom.

But perhaps I am even lonely when with people, when in relationships. There is something in it, but I think loneliness is the wrong word. I think the more appropriate word is 'emptyness'.

(And yes - I did ignore the stuff about god) :wink:


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

> There is something in it, but I think loneliness is the wrong word. I think the more appropriate word is 'emptyness'.


I can't distinguish between the two...for me they seem to go hand in hand.

Although, if I were to put a better word to it for me it would be "aloneness"...not so much that I'm lonely, but that I am alone. As though I may as well be the only person in the world.

Feeling lonely to me means that I am bored with being by myself and want some company, but the feeling that I am alone gives me that very empty hollow feeling...much more poignant than mere lonliness.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Martin, 
Time and date duly noted, mentally at least. Just kidding. Well, sort of.

Its good to see that you're feeling a little better. I _do_ think you should ask about some Tegretol. I've just noted that you have alot of self-destructive "alone" fantasies, such as soaking your troubles in a bottle of Absinthe in a deserted Scottish castle or other such gloomy whimsies...You will be okay, if you let yourself.

About the leukemia, the bone marrow transplant isnt kill or cure. You almost certainly will survive it. It may not cure it however. A stemcell transplant is a reasonable option, but it is still a bit experimental. I wish you would try the more "tried-and-true" methods first. Either way, I'm glad to see you up and about, and I wish you plenty of

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Don't trya and fool me Homey - you've copied my post and written it in blood on your wall!! :wink: 



> Although, if I were to put a better word to it for me it would be "aloneness"...not so much that I'm lonely, but that I am alone


Exactly. I've had an Epiphany. Well, not THE Epiphany (yet!), but you get my drift. That's a better turn of phrase. But my 'aloneness' is inside of me. It's almost like I'm in a message is a bottle, so to speak, enjoying the ride and the thrill, but looking out and all I can see is miles and miles of deserted ocean. And knowing that is all there will ever be, however bumpy (good and bad) the ride is.


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

> Exactly. I've had an Epiphany. Well, not THE Epiphany (yet!),


 :shock: :shock: :shock:   

Martin...when's your next trip to Oz??? :wink:



> But my 'aloneness' is inside of me.





> And knowing that is all there will ever be, however bumpy (good and bad) the ride is.


Yes...I feel this.



> I feel the loneliness is due to such a disconnection from our Higher Power, God, Christ, Spirit or whatever you may want to call it, by a large amount of unresoved emotional issues and emotions.


While I have questioned whether this "aloneness" I feel can be attributed to not having a faith I don't 100% agree with this statement. I don't have a large number of unresolved emotional issues and emotions...I recognise and understand my issues but don't have faith that these issues can be resolved by a Higher Power, God etc...they can only be resolved by me alone, by accepting things as they are or changing my perspectives, moral stances and letting go of things I have done and things I cannot change. I am not disconnected from a "Higher Power"...I do believe in such a thing, but don't believe this "Power" (force or whatever) passes any judgement on me or my actions or can resolve any of my issues.


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