# New, really struggling. Really need help, please read



## Nicolen617 (Apr 1, 2017)

Hi there. My name is Nicole, I am 23 years old and I have been stuck in an episode of depersonalization and dissociation for 2 months now. I am terrified. I am exhausted. And I see no end in sight. I feel like my eyes are fuzzy. Like I cannot see clearly. I have tried Eastern medication, acupuncture, and western medicine (modern medicine) and the only thing that has taken the edge off is a combination of a few medications. But I am still not even close to somewhat okay. I cry almost every day. I have tunnel vision 24/7.

I feel like I am in a movie, like nothing is real. I can't remember anything. I feel vulnerable. There is "static" in my head. I feel like I am watching from inside my body, but behind my eyes. Everything is either too loud or too quiet. I had to quit my job because of this. Things don't look real, but also look too real. This reminds me of when I used to smoke pot in high school and I would get paranoid. I am a recovering opiate addict. 3 years clean. And this mental illness has taken over me. It was suggested to me to try neurofeedback? I just want things to be clear like they used to. I want to feel real. I don't want to feel like I am underwater anymore. I am so scared that it will never go away. I try breathing exersizes throughout the day but my anxiety is always through the roof. Finding this website just gave me some relief. Does anyone have any advice? I am desperate for relief. Thank you in advance. Best wishes to everyone


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

I can relate to you - in the same boat. Also, I thank you, because I think what you have written is a perfect description of my dp/dr.



> I feel like I am watching from inside my body, but behind my eyes.


When my dp/dr came on, the only way I could articulate it was by saying that "the wrong person is looking out through my eyes". I think that's because the "real me" is somewhere deep inside me, locked away.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)




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## sp3ctor (Apr 2, 2017)

You are not alone. A lot of us share these similar experiences that people with out it, have no clue. 
But at least we have each other on some level, even if it's online.

I have had chronic Depersonalization for at least 2 years now. I want you to think about th positive aspects of DP. Trust me, there are many positives. Most of us are blinded by the fear of the unknowing. It's a dark abyss that seems like no end in sight. But I promise you this, you have been given a a gift to focus on self realization. This is the perfect opportunity to truly find yourself.

I chose to follow the white rabbit down the hole, lost a few friends because of it, but I have gained knowledge and insight of the world around us that most people will never understand or will never reach that level.

The spiritual community sees this as an awakening.

Welcome to your true self. Accept it, meditate on it daily.

I can go deeper, but this is hard to type in traffic.

Remember to love yourself no matter what. This is the beginning to something better.


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## Jrrodriguezj (Apr 9, 2017)

We really have to figure out the main cause of this issue and fix it, 
For me I believe it's sleep apnea mixed with depression and anxiety, so all those things don't help, and I'm afraid of meds because of my anxiety so i dont take them, the only thing tjay helps is sleep honestly, at least we dont feel like this sometimes video games but I haven't been my self for 3 years,


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## ThoughtSurfer (Apr 20, 2017)

If you are looking for a quick fix lithium orotate 5mg pure encapsualtions worked for me for the anxiety part.


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