# I'm a mess



## bfaye (Dec 27, 2013)

My parents are paying for me to see all these doctors and I still feel awful and part of me wants to pretend to be fine so they don't have to do this anymore. I just turned 18 and I'm supposed to be driving and getting a job and learning to take care of myself but instead I spend all day in my bedroom sleeping or crying or panicking. I still go to school and try to get out of the house when I can, but my DP/DR is just not letting up. I've had it for about a year, and it hasn't given me a break. I'm taking 50mg Sertraline, and while it stops me from having panic attacks and gives me the ability to function, all it's doing is suppressing my anxiety. I haven't found a doctor who I feel I can trust yet, and I'm sick of watching my parents suffer and have to pay bills and take care of my pathetic self. All I want is to feel alive again, to be healthy and living. I don't care about the petty things I used to like what people think of me or how I look. I just miss my life and feeling connected to the world and having emotions. I want to be a good person and help people and have a good time just living and learning new things. I have sympathy for everyone who is suffering with this, especially those with little to no support. Hopefully DP/DR will become a more publicized issue and more research will be conducted as to what causes this and how to cure it. Because it's two in the morning here and I feel so hopeless and alone. This is no way to live....


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## MissLana (Jan 12, 2014)

I've been really bad for a few months (I'm five months into DP/DR) but I started taking supplements, I started eating a strict diet, made some life changes, and went to therapy several times. I am so close to recovery and I see improvements every day. You CAN do it.


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## bfaye (Dec 27, 2013)

It is nice to hear of people improving in a noticeable way and I'd love to hear your recovery story as soon as you're out.  I'm going to try dieting and have already begun supplementing; it's just difficult given financial circumstances.


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

@bfaye

Try not to feel guilty about your medical bills. You are young, and it is a worthwhile and necessary investment. My problems with DP also began when I was a minor. I regret that I was unable to make a direct connection with medical authorities, because they were content to communicate with my parents about my condition. My parents were not forthright with me. I went without answers for many years.. I guess my point is that you should seek to obtain as much information as you can from medical authorities. Do it for yourself.


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