# WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?! HELP!!!!!!!!



## Tessa07 (Aug 9, 2007)

First, greeting to everyone here.

Second, My name is Tessa and I just turned 18 a few weeks ago. I think I might be having problems due to stress and trauma. In mid-April my Uncle was murdered viciously in front of my cousin who I am very close to. I'm very close my Aunt's family and I had just seen them a few months before, and I refused to believe it. I mourned for weeks, but I noticed nothing wrong with my vision until around a month later around Graduation. (May) I thought it was just my floaters, so I ignored it. In early July I started noticing that the gradual "static vision" everywhere not just white walls and I went to an optomologist and he told me that my retina is fine, so its not my floaters.

What I was seeing kept getting worse and worse and now even when I close my eyes I see these shimmering/flashing lights and lots of flashes and floaters. I feel as though I'm going _crazy_.

I keep having panic attacks and insomia. Which only makes it even WORSE.

My eye/other muscles sometimes twitch, I feel strange tingly feelings on my back and random places on my body, I'm always thirsty, dizziness, my skin is dry, I have small headaches, and I feel so weak/fatigued.

I'm scared to death, because when I went to the doctor my and he said that I might be diabetic or have cushings disease. For weeks I've searching online for answers and everyday I seem to think I have a new disease. One day thought I had a cycst, the next day migraine w/o aura, lyme disease, going blind, tinnitus, and much more. I keep thinking I'm going to die. I've even thought I had brain cancer or I'm going nuts.

I cant stand living like this! Sometimes I think that I'll wake up and it'll all be a bad dream. I try to get my mind off it, but nothing seems to work because it keeps getting worse. I feel like crying in frustration, what do I _do_?  I hope I'm not getting seizures or something due to the flashes, I'm much too young! I was so healthy and happy before I got this problem . . . whats wrong with me?!

I keep thinking that the old me is gone forever, and that I'm not the same as before. I keep crying and I'm always paranoid.

*Please tell me that this might be all in my mind and how to get help. I'm not sure what to do, I feel like I'll never get help.*


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## LiTtLeLiSa (Aug 5, 2007)

hello there ...

all i can say is STRESS , ANXIETY , PANIC its all built up inside of you and going round and round inside 
your bodys way of coping is different to each person so your symptoms may not be the same as lets say me ...

i too went to the doctors last year and they made me feel 100 times by telling me i had cardio-vascular disease .. i went from anxious to PANIC OVERLOAD

---- NO I DONT HAVE CARDIO VASCULAR DISEASE

you have been through alot of mental trauma

i noticed also you said about floaters i too have them , infact i actually ended up being checked out at the hospital as it effected me that much .. and yes nothing was wrong again !!! 
although i do still have them ... even today !!!

doctors can do more harm than good really alot of them dont take into account we have feelings ... they swallow there text books n just dish out diagnosis like there is no tommorow !!

i dont know lol ...

but it does sound like you have supressed depression .. after all you have gone through .. your anxiety is coming out as symptoms ie : dizziness etc etc

you have begun your first step to recovery already though ..... WHY ??? because you have joined up to this forum and we are all here to help !!!


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## Tessa07 (Aug 9, 2007)

*LiTtLeLiSa*, Thank you so much for your words. Its nice to find someone who is suffering too.

So what problems are your floaters causing you? The same as mine? :?:

To me, the floaters never bothered me much. Its the "visual snow", flashes, and the shimmering lights that are scaring me. And the ringing of the ears, even though the doctor looked at my ears and didn't notice anything wrong with them.

I think _anxiety_ is a major factor in my problem. For the past year I've been stressed at work and school. Especially the month before/of Graduation. Being in the top 10, I was involved in so many clubs and stuff that I didn't have time to enjoy my last weeks. I felt used and tired by my teachers and friends, because I kept thinking that a lot of them gave me more responsibility so they could have fun. I felt taken for granted. Not sure if this is true or not, but thats how I _felt_ at the time.

By the last days of school I was sick of feeling this way. I was extremely _quiet_ and a lot colder towards people I usually was very nice and friendly to. I didn't have any classes with friends the entire year, and I felt isolated and alone. Detached from them, if you will. I felt very depressed all last year, and I gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I remember crying about this a lot, but the next day I would feel happy and normal again and move on.

I'm just baffled how during my vacation of all things, I'm starting to feel the anxiety effects _now_. Is this normal?

I think also what is not helping is that my grandfather (who lives far away) is sick and dying of lung cancer, but because of my problems my dad cant go and be by his side. I feel so guility, and I want to be there for him too.

God, I'm a walking problem. :lol: I just want get some sleep (I'm getting blood work done tomorrow), but no matter how much I try to block out these scary visuals, it keeps getting worse!


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