# Do i exist??



## Jessie-lee06 (Apr 6, 2016)

Hello all.
Im jessie a 22 year old aussie gal. 3 months ago i weaned of an ssri called lexapro and ever since i have been feeling very odd. For the past week it has been so intense i cant ignore it. I feel like i dont exist or the world doesnt exist. Like this is all a crazy dream and im imagining my life in my head. I feel lightheaded and like im looking through glass. Im having all these existential thoughts like how are we here? What am i? Then i think about death and never existing again which throws me into a huge panic. I just feel so strange and im actually scared that im alive? It suddenly feels very scary to exist at all but at the same time everything looks so unfamiliar?? Im just so so scared is this all anxiety? If so my goodness awful isnt the word for it. What can i do?


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

I am assuming you are asking "Do I exist?" because you have started to feel weird, rather than because of some great interest in the question from a philosophical perspective 

You do exist, you just feel very weird.


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## Jessie-lee06 (Apr 6, 2016)

Yeah i mean logically i know nothing around me has changed but i feel like ive floated of into an alternate reality or something. Im in a constant state of panic because of this weird feeling. I have insomnia and i can hardly eat this is destroying me. Im scared that ive died and dont know it like this is some sort of terrifying afterlife. Its so hard to explain but its just so scary.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Jessie you are experiencing classic Depersonalization and Derealization....They are both basically interlinked and anxiety is at the root of what you are going through....Depersonalization is more of an internal/personal sensation of feeling like you dont recognise yourself or your own feelings....Derealization is when your outer environment like your own home or neighbourhood feel unfamiliar to you.....Basically it feels like walking around in an almost dreamlike state of feeling like you dont recognise normal everyday things but yet you still know what they are...It all just FEELS different and as a result can be very frightening..

It is all completely anxiety based....You wont go crazy from this...It is very disturbing, frightening and upsetting but it is NOT dangerous to your sanity....

I guarantee you it eases in time but please tell your loved ones whats going on...You need all the support and help available to you right now and most of all you need understanding, caring loving people around you....

Please dont try to go through this alone....Tell people you trust whats going on and MAKE them understand that you are feeling very mentally unwell at the moment....This condition is very psychologically isolating enough....DONT suffer it in silence!

I promise you that you are not going crazy.....Its anxiety in its extreme form and it does improve in time!


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## Tendencies (Dec 24, 2015)

You sound just as I did when I first started feeling this disconnected feeling, but rest-assured, these feelings will get less intense and you will start to have good times and then those good times will happen more often and you will know that you are recovering. These are the thing that I have noticed since it started for me, I started to have more period of time at places like school, I don't think about it and I will realize, wow, I guess I wasn't thinking about it for the past while. And although coming to the realization of that sometimes pulls me back into it, I have come to a point in my recovery where I can keep myself calm for the most part and am able to work through the rough patches, and you will too. Just stay strong, we will all make it through this together and make it to the recovery section.


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