# What does recovery feel like?



## sothisisitthen (Sep 5, 2007)

Hello all - I am relatively new to this site - i've been visiting for a while, but only registered today. I find that it can be helpful to read the experiences of people in similar situations and was wondering whether anyone could offer me some advice. Basically I was wondering if somebody could describe what it feels like to recover?
Recently I felt as if things were getting better, but then this week I have felt really awful. The derealisation is very intense and I have a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I am fixated with the nature of reality and keep having thoughts of suicide. 
I have tried so many different things to get better and thought that perhaps I was making some improvement, but now I can't tell which way I am slipping. I feel more like I am on autopilot and living a dream, but I don't know whether this is part of my mind clicking out of DP.

What does this sound like to you all? I am really scared right now. I haven't felt this depressed for a long time. If this is my condition getting worse, what can I do? I feel like I can't keep fighting.

Much thanks, Dan x


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## Pancthulhu (May 27, 2006)

Don't worry - everyone suffers setbacks when they're recovering. It doesn't mean you're back to square one.
Recovery is being able to go for a whole day or several days without thinking about DP, I guess.


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## Funksoulbrotherno2 (Mar 23, 2005)

yeah dont worry Dan,

Ive basically hang this thing for 2 and a half years and despite continually thinking it waa getting worse I would say that its stayed at pretty much the same level. Infact I would say things are gradually improving for me.

The only time it has felt worse is when Ive been focussing on it too much and i would suggest that because you thought you were getting better this has caused you to start thinking about how you feel again too intensely.

Keep busy, try not to avoid situations because of this thing and hang in there.


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## DreamLife (Sep 16, 2007)

Dan,

I am just curious, are you a spiritual person at all? In my own personal struggle, when I was the most suicidal, the only thing that saved me was finding a Higher Power in this life. That way, I wasn't relying completely on myself. Some of the burden was shared by this Higher Power (whom I call God).

I think for me personally, to get out of my mind and to quit contemplating everything, I had to find a way to become more spiritual, less focused on myself and on this life, and more focused on the life that I couldn't physically touch. Somehow after that happened, I became less concerned with the why's and how's of life and more concerned with just being able to contribute to it. Giving back to this world, no matter how much you despise it right now, will be one of the few things that will save you from yourself (this is all my opinion of course, and I'm no expert).

Prayer or meditation of some sort really helps those who try it, even if you don't fully believe that what you're doing is going to work. To simply say, "Please take me out of my mind. Help me to stay focused on what I can add to this life" several times each day may do wonders.

Like I said, I'm no expert and these are simply suggestions. I hope that you find peace.


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