# DP/DR forever tormenting me



## Eagles2526 (Nov 17, 2017)

Prepare to embark on my journey like so many of you have experienced. I am a 19 year old boy who has recently withdrawn from college. While being far away from home I was not happy at all. My anxiety was atrocious and I had trouble talking to new people. This is only a recent phenom because in the past I was able to spark a conversation with anyone. Anyway I was down there had a massive panic attack, and smoked weed later that night. Woke up the next morning thinking I had schizophrenia and researched the topic for literally a week straight. I could no longer sit in massive lecture halls and take all the information in because I was unable to focus and too darn worried about how I thought I had lost my mind. Fast forward a month and I finally return home. Well at least what I know to be my home but I dont feel it. My parents are foreign to me and all my friends just look different. I have no idea how to talk to people anymore and my thought process is totally askew. I'm just looking for reassurance that there will be improvements because it has been nearly 3 months and I have considered taking the easy way out but will not. My cognitive abilities are horrendous and I cant even think about what to say to my girlfriend anymore. I'm really desperate here and probably sound like a little baby since most of you have been suffering with it a lot longer than me but just understand that I need some guidance. My parents have no clue what the heck I am talking about. I am seeing a therapist but they just prescribe me medicine. I am on 150 mg of sertraline. I apologize for my poor grammar and repetitiveness. Just sitting at my desk praying to the Lord above we all get out of this some day.


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## Steff (Nov 3, 2017)

I feel you, this sounds all too familiar. You don't sound like a little baby, it doesn't matter how long you've had it, even if it's days, months, or years, we all have the right to be upset at this bullshit disorder. I think you should definitely tell your family, because even if they don't understand what you're going through, it still feels good to know that the people around you are aware that something is going on with you. Also try to get a new therapist, if you have acess to one, I've had my fair share of bad therapists but I've
Recently found one that I feel like actually understands wtf is going on with me. Even if your parents don't understand what you're going through, it's comforting to know that atleast a therapist who has knowledge on these types of things can understand you. I am also in college so I get what you mean by not being able to concentrate at school, I really don't know how I managed to get through this semester. Please keep praying and stay hopeful that one day we will be past this. I wish you all them best.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Eagles2526 said:


> Prepare to embark on my journey like so many of you have experienced. I am a 19 year old boy who has recently withdrawn from college. While being far away from home I was not happy at all. My anxiety was atrocious and I had trouble talking to new people. This is only a recent phenom because in the past I was able to spark a conversation with anyone. Anyway I was down there had a massive panic attack, and smoked weed later that night. Woke up the next morning thinking I had schizophrenia and researched the topic for literally a week straight. I could no longer sit in massive lecture halls and take all the information in because I was unable to focus and too darn worried about how I thought I had lost my mind. Fast forward a month and I finally return home. Well at least what I know to be my home but I dont feel it. My parents are foreign to me and all my friends just look different. I have no idea how to talk to people anymore and my thought process is totally askew. I'm just looking for reassurance that there will be improvements because it has been nearly 3 months and I have considered taking the easy way out but will not. My cognitive abilities are horrendous and I cant even think about what to say to my girlfriend anymore. I'm really desperate here and probably sound like a little baby since most of you have been suffering with it a lot longer than me but just understand that I need some guidance. My parents have no clue what the heck I am talking about. I am seeing a therapist but they just prescribe me medicine. I am on 150 mg of sertraline. I apologize for my poor grammar and repetitiveness. Just sitting at my desk praying to the Lord above we all get out of this some day.


Far from being a big baby you are actually being an extremely brave individual....Anybody who continues to go through this absolute hell of a condition in the hope of finding a way out is a very brave person indeed...

I can actually guarantee you that you will find a way to get better....It is just a patient game of trial and error as to what works for each individual...Therapy for some, diet for others, exercise maybe or else if all else fails the right medicine can be a blessing...

For now you need to reduce all levels of stress in your life and surround yourself with caring understanding patient people...

Avoid anybody who tells you its all in your head and to just get on with things....They do more damage than good...

Stress is DP and anxietys best friend....

I would also suggest you drop weed for good....It will only make you worse in the long term...The same goes for any other illicit drug you may be taking....Oh and stay away from alcohol....Alcohol and medicines for mental ill health and DP are a bad bad combination....The alcohol will only negate the effects of the medicine and worsen the DP symptoms...


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## Eagles2526 (Nov 17, 2017)

Haven’t smoked or drank in about 2 months and I️ appreciate the advice. Only thing we can keep doing is pushing and once this disorder is in the ground there will never be a day I’m sad again. It will be like waking up from a nightmare and back to my great life


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Even just 1 day of full on DP can feel like an eternity so don't feel bad about that part.


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## Blue Tears (Apr 29, 2017)

Listen dude, I'm not belittling your pain in anyway but three months is really nothing it takes time for your brain to adapt and heal, so be patient.

When I was on the three month mark, I was in a different state of mind then I am in now, you will be too don't worry. Just remember that this is all in "your head" it's all it is, it's your fear > causing > fear, you got to break that cycle by self medicating techniques and life style changes.

I'd say between 1-6 months of dp/dr was the worst time of my life, I lost over 15kg's within six months with no intentions of losing it, my vision was 2 fucking D, I was scared everyone even myself for god sake!! but now 1 year and 1 month later, im about 90% recovered, no more dr/dp just a little of existential thoughts here and there, nothing major haha, but trust me you will get better man, hang in there.

Hit me up if you need help or someone to talk to!


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## Lexy67 (Sep 23, 2017)

Dp is hard because you feel off Cebter. Self agency is gone which means you don't wake up saying you want to do this and do that. And the ability to project yourself into the future is also really difficult. 
It is thanksgiving 2017. I don't think I ever felt quite as dissociated. And helpless with this problem. The sun is going down in this day. Ppl are gathering, but I don't feel left out. Bc if I were someplace W others I would feel the same way. 
Sharing in this platform makes me feel a little bar. 
They say the road to recovery is not to bemoan your symptoms. But sometimes that is all I can do in the manner of expressing myself. 
I feel like a little girl helpless to make a change. 
I hope that changes in 2018. I really hope so.


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## Thisisnotlife (Oct 20, 2017)

My biggest problem is this not knowingness. I have no idea am i getting better or worse. And is this right thing to do or not. I feel so hopeless
I dont know what feels to be recovered and i this even is dp anymore


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