# I have the opposite of depersonalisation?



## Guer (Apr 20, 2017)

Hi!

This is my first post on this forum. I wanted to know whether anyone here experiences the same things I do.

My experience of depersonalisation are in no way extreme or damaging to my mental health. I just get weird sensations of zoning out sometimes. I call it the opposite of depersonalisation - self-realisation. It mostly happens when I look in the mirror and see myself, and think -

''this is really me? I am this?'', or ''I am myself...'', all whilst concentrating really hard on me existing. I feel like everything before this moment has been like a film, a fictional story, and now, as I look at myself in the mirror, I am in reality. During this my feelings are more deep and intense, and it's like my mental state is amplified. However, I think only about myself existing and nothing else.

I can't control when I get this, but it usually happens doing routine things like walking home, brushing my teeth.

Would love to hear your thoughts!


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

Hmm. Does this happen often? This sounds like DP, or a mild version of it, but transient. That is the key word.

Before my life got fucked up completely, I used to have this. I would think really deep existential questions about "is this me?", whilst looking in the mirror and have some DR symptoms as well like the world appearing like a film-set. It changed colour and physical property. But then I would go back to normal. I would get this during periods of stress, tiredness, and even for no trigger that I am aware of.

I have heard cases of what you are going through, in people who suffered trauma/abuse/neglect in their life especially during development. I don't know if that applies to you, but its something to think about I suppose.


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## Guer (Apr 20, 2017)

Hedgehog fuzz said:


> Hmm. Does this happen often? This sounds like DP, or a mild version of it, but transient. That is the key word.
> 
> Before my life got fucked up completely, I used to have this. I would think really deep existential questions about "is this me?", whilst looking in the mirror and have some DR symptoms as well like the world appearing like a film-set. It changed colour and physical property. But then I would go back to normal. I would get this during periods of stress, tiredness, and even for no trigger that I am aware of.
> 
> I have heard cases of what you are going through, in people who suffered trauma/abuse/neglect in their life especially during development. I don't know if that applies to you, but its something to think about I suppose.


Thanks for the reply. I see how lucky I am with having such a mild version of DP, most likely due to my life being very isolated from any traumatic events and being stable and successful. This happens quite consistently, and more often after instances where I am alone and feel alone. My mother says she used to get the same thing as a child and no longer experiences it, so perhaps some genetics is involved too.

I'm not exactly worried, just interested - DP seems very mysterious and not very well known at all.

That being said - I hope your life gets better than fucked up, hedgehog


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