# Extreme disconnection, existential crisis



## lexylove777 (May 13, 2017)

My derealization has gotten worse over the past month from existential thinking and I can't turn it off. I really become scared to go outside because I don't understand the universe, I go to therapy and that helps and I also see I spiritual healer. Do you ever feel scared of the universe or scared that you can't believe anything anymore? I can't help but want this all to me over because it's taken me away so badly. Sometimes I feel dead or so spaced out, yesterday all the sudden I had a panic attack which I haven't got in a while. My heart felt like it was vibrating. I also had a really bad episode yesterday because I was talking to someone with a huge ego because it's in my family and it literally drains me because I've become so sensitive. I wish the existential thoughts or questioning believing anything would stop. I really just need people to talk to or that I can relate to. I hope you all are having a wonderful day


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

These are horrific and I dealt with them for 3 months. I couldn't even go outside and anything. Eventually they start fading. I been in this hell for 4 months and it's now slowly fading. Hang in there!


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

These are horrific and I dealt with them for 3 months. I couldn't even go outside and anything. Eventually they start fading. I been in this hell for 4 months and it's now slowly fading. Hang in there!


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## Carl_34_m_UK (May 3, 2016)

4months is a good turn around time. I'm still going after well over a year. I'd love to know what makes all the existential stuff so obsessive.. I don't think my mind has ever uncontrollably latched on to anything before that dominates my whole day every day. All the existential stuff is just so strange and bizarre to me that for some reason it's just there all the time.. a constant circle of thought.. questioning anything and everything. Not for any particular reason anymore. I'm not even trying to find answers to all this stuff, yet my head is just stuck this way. Every day is just horrible, literally freaking out about being alive and the whole dynamincs of life and existence. It's become so hardcoded in to my mind that I think it's just there now and if it hasn't gone away after well over a year, I don't know what will ever change really. This hell ruins lives - It's not even on and off.. just all day everyday and having to function with it.


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## Aha's Shadow (Mar 23, 2017)

Hey Lexy, I know we've spoken before and noted how similar our symptoms are to each other. Read my diary a couple of threads down to remind yourself you aren't alone.


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## dope (Aug 31, 2016)

Hello!

I'm sorry. It's hard but you can do it! If there's nothing to hold on to, hold on to hope. If you don't have any hope, hold on to your family members, your friends. 
More often than not I create hope out of nothing. I just do shit I like, and I gain this new and restored hope and strength, out of nowhere.

If you need to speak or something, don't hesitate to send me a message


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

I suffer from this really bad right now!!!! I'll all the sudden get this wave come over me of omg am I really here is this life is this real I'm a person? Like just simply existing and being a person is sooo freaking terrifying and exhausting and strange and unreal. This fucking sucks . I'm hoping my meds will help me beat this demon


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

caseyb086 said:


> I suffer from this really bad right now!!!! I'll all the sudden get this wave come over me of omg am I really here is this life is this real I'm a person? Like just simply existing and being a person is sooo freaking terrifying and exhausting and strange and unreal. This fucking sucks . I'm hoping my meds will help me beat this demon


I get the exact same wave and I start freaking out and I feel like my soul is leaving my body and everything and everyone around me feels and looks fake. It's horrific. What medications are you on? I am on none because I have a shitty ass psychiatrist.


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

I am on lexapro and risperdal. But I'm not sure if either are the ticket I'm trying to stay positive And not lose hope and give them a few more weeks... I want my life back!


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