# First time on here, just want to talk.



## Daisycar88 (Apr 28, 2015)

Hi, I've never really spoken about this to anyone so bare with me if I ramble. I've had derealization/ depersonalisation for a long time. It all started when I was badly bullied as a child, that started in primary school at around 6 years old. I would tell my mum I had bad Daydreams and when I described how I felt to her she said it was just De Javu which I then began calling this. I would have around 5 episodes a day and struggled to describe how I felt as I was so young. I thought as I got older that I was maybe crazy and that I shouldn't tell anyone I case they thought I was crazy too. When I have an episode I feel completely detached and have sometimes not known where I am or who I am, sometimes I struggle to bring myself out of it and sometimes I can stop it before it goes too far, I know I don't look like me and if there's a television on or music playing I think I know what people are going to say before they say it, like I've lived that moment a million times. I am now 27 and am still suffering although now they are less frequent but no less scary. Through tough times they have gotten worse and when I'm ok they lessen but never go away completely. I spoke to my doctor about it once and was prescribed beta blockers which I never took, I've always had the mind set that if its in my head then only my head can cure it's, not drugs. I've never spoken to anybody who also has this but I would love too as you know it's incredibly hard to describe and something that unless you have experienced it, is hard to understand. I don't know what I'm hoping to get out of writing this but there you go. That's my story so far. Thanks for reading. X


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## Billy Pilgrim (Jan 25, 2015)

Thanks for sharing man! I can relate to lost sense of self and having it since I was little. First Time i remember having dp was around second grade. You are not alone!


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## technokush (Jul 19, 2009)

Hi, you're not alone, please talk some more!


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## aubsauce (Jul 8, 2015)

I understand what you are feeling. I have suffered from both dr and dp since I was 6 or 7. The episodes come and go. Right now I am in a constant state of dr and trying to figure out what is causing it.

You aren't alone in this!


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## dontquit (Jul 26, 2015)

You are not alone.. You will overcome this state of mind, its just a matter of time. Dont succumb to meds, it is a paradox within your mind. Get up and go out, do not let this mind set sit you down. The harder you fight the faster it will go, I promise.


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