# I want YOU to recover and here's how!



## ambrosialv (Oct 15, 2010)

(I posted this in Road to Recovery Forum as well)









Hi All:

So, I wanted to post this alot earleir, but I have been super busy at work.

I have recovered. 100 %. This is how I did it.

First off, I suffered from derealization first. I could write a whole essay on how I ended up w/ anxiety in the first place, but I will save you that bore haha. The derealization was the hardest thing for me to ever go through. Not only did my mind develop what you would call "morbid obsessions" ie- thoughts of harming others or yourself...and love to repeat them to me...shout them at me almost 24/7, I suffered from crappy DR. One day I woke up and everything was alien to me. I would say I was one of the worst on here. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror, my own voice freaked me out, I couldn't look at pictures of myself, my family, pets, and friends looked odd and strange...something feared. The DP followed, and I hated myself. My self confidence went through the shitter. I went from being an upbeat, self confident nanny who had a very bright future ahead of her to someone who really considered ending her own life. But you know what? I pulled out of it. All of it. Recovered 100 % and here is how.

1) I really stopped giving two shits about the thoughts in my head. No matter how evil, how morbid, how stupid, depressing, or whatever they were, I let them be. Deep down, I know in my heart and soul who I am, and I stopped letting anxiety tell me different. Give your thoughts no credence. I akin it to the cartoons of an angel and a devil on each shoulder. Of course the devil will shout louder, but the angel is always there to tell you what is important.

2) Do things. When the DP first happened, I had not a damn clue what was happening to me. I remember when I got it in spurts. I would ask my friends "Have you ever felt like you were there, but not there?" They all said yes! At times, when they felt stressed. So, i didn't worry about it to much. Then I had it 24/7. My vision was blurry, I felt shitty and out of it. I thought I had a major sinus infection haha. I couldn't tell you how many sinus things I took haha. Obviously they didn't help. It was when I started freaking out about it that the DP hit an all time high. I became a shell. I stopped working, going out, everything. I stayed in a dark room and just cried. This went on for months! I was even hospitalized on a 51/50 a couple times! But one day I said to myself, "this is stupid Christine. You know who you are. You never questioned who you were or existence before...why now?" So I sucked it up and started working again. Yeah, I felt AWFUL. But I knew that if I wanted to be normal again, I had to act normal. Do things normal people did. I forced myself to go to my brothers football games, go out with my family. This is when the recovery started to happen. My mind raced, and told me all the things that it could to keep me "safe" at home. I broke down and cried many times. But as time went on, I ignored them. It was like a bully in mind. You ignore the bully long enough, and he starts to loose the battle. The biggest challenge was going out w/ my friends w/out my family there. But I told myself, "What's the worse that can happen? If I feel shitty, oh well. If I feel great, awesome". You develop a DGAF attitude about anxiety.

3. FAITH!!!!! I pray alot, and this whole thing has brought me closer to my Lord and Savior. Faith and prayers help alot!!!!!!!!!!

4. The term "Fake it till you make it". This is soooooo true.

5. GET OUTER FOCUSED! Reconnect with people and the world. My confidence is better than it ever has been because of this.

The reason people get stuck in this habit, this cycle, is because they want the immediate fix. They want this to end yesterday. Sorry folks. It doesn't happen that way. Your symptoms are a result of a tired mind and body. By you constantly focusing on how you feel, and the thoughts, you feed the anxiety and DP. When you stop caring about it, it stops caring about you. My mind still feeds me anxious thoughts, and tries to get mt to remember the feelings and such, and I feel shitty off and on. This only happens now when I'm stressed. But I'm living again. You can too. EVERYONE has bad days. That's life. Even after you recover, and you will, promise that, your life isn't going to be rainbows and butterfiles. Life hands you lemons, and you make damn lemonade. NO ONES life is perfect. But for the time being, PLEASE give your mind and body a break! Honestly, I stopped coming on this forum because it feeds the anxiety. You read something, freak out, and then you're back to square one. I'm sure most of you, and no offense, spend hours a day on here. It consumes you. And if not on here, then on Google researching symptoms. That WAS me. But I broke the cycle, and feel soooooooooo much better. Each day is a victory for me.

One person I would like to thank for my recovery, other than God, is Paul David. He wrote the book, "At Last A Life." Please Google him. I know that sounds hypocritical, but his site and blog changed my life. He puts things in a suffers perspective and tells it how it is.

If you any question, you can e-mail me at [email protected] or Facebook me http://www.facebook....p?id=605540803.

I'm here to help. I didn't get much support from my friend or family. They didn't "Get It." I had to do this on my own. And doing it on your own is the only way to recovery. I do care about you all, and I want each and everyone of you to recover.









<3, Christine


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## Angel_heaven (Jun 1, 2010)

Congrats on your recovery! Was it recent? How long did u suffer for and what was the cause? Did u take any medications or supplements?


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Greeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt!!!!!! Very well done









You can be so proud of yourself, especially because you did all this on your own.

Thank you very much for your report. Now I am encouraged even MORE to just continue my life, no matter what freaking thoughts try to hinder me


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## Strangerdanger (Oct 3, 2010)

thank you for this post and im glad you are feeling better!


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## kr123 (Jan 8, 2011)

ambrosialv said:


> (I posted this in Road to Recovery Forum as well)
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great post thanks for putting your story .. its similar to how i am recovering, i just dont give it my time any more and when it hits me ii just ignore it and it goes away and i completely agree that you have to start acting the way you did before you got derealized, i know its hard but dont you want to do it !


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## whatthehell (Jul 27, 2010)

I have the book you mentioned. Paul David is the Messiah for DR DP lol. No joke.


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## Daphne (Apr 16, 2010)

Thanks for that post! I also read the site of Paul David and bought the book and it helped a lot. I'm not recovered yet, but I already feel a lot better Unfortunately the link for your facebook profile didn't work or maybe I did something wrong?
I think DP/DR is much easier to get rid of, than many people think! Though it needs some time.


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## Tenken (Dec 28, 2007)

This post has good advice you have to stop focusing so much on yourself.


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## el_kapitano (Aug 21, 2010)

I'm glad that you recovered. You said basicaly the same thing like all of the rest of recovered people and it's good to read such recovery stories over and over again until everybody realises in their minds what is the way out of this hell.

BUT, do I need to pay you for those advices?


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## ambrosialv (Oct 15, 2010)

I'm so happy many people on here are gaining insight from this post.

I have had many people contact me on FB...and it's hard to reply to everyone individually. Sorry :/

One thing I did notice on here, and on a blog forum on anxiety I check out once in a while to give advice is that everyone ask the same question over and over again. New person, same questions. The answers are across the board for everyone. No one has a "specialized" form of anxiety that makes them, and their questions unique. I think people do this (and I can honestly say I did this in my early stages) because they want that reassurance that they will be ok...and they will. You have trust yourself to know that.

I do have many anxiety symptoms still. I have gone through a "setback" this week after family drama happened, and it further proved to me how crappy stress is. Stress = adrenaline. Like Paul David says, you have a cup, and your body continues to fill this cup with adrenaline so you can "keep" up with a stressful job, relationship, whatever. One day, you cup overflows and BOOM- you have anxiety disorder. You have to get that cup back to normal range, and the more you freak out about DP, the more that cup is going to overflow.

I hope this make sense. I'm praying for all of you!


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## ambrosialv (Oct 15, 2010)

Well...I wanted to remove my Facebook/e-mail from these post, but can't seem to









It's not that I don't want to help people, I do! But I've been receiving a lot of disturbing e-mails. I laid down the path of recovery in my post.

One key point: Live your life as though you never had anxiety and that recovery takes time. There is no magic pill, technique, ect. Time heals all. One helpful thing is mindfulness. Sit with the anxiety...no matter how bad it is.


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## danialclarcke (Jan 28, 2011)

Great post thank you for putting your story is similar to how I can recover, I just do my time more and when it hits me ii just ignore it and go and I totally agree that it should start acting like it did before coming unreal, I know it's hard but do you want to do.


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## rickysmartin (Feb 8, 2011)

Great post thanks for the story is similar to how I can go back, but my time, and when he hit just ignore me and go, and I fully agree that we should begin to pretend I was not really them, I know it's hard, but I want do.


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## ambrosialv (Oct 15, 2010)

Hi all!

I wanted to add this, as it is a great way I started looking at DP/DR. Remember this a stress is a HUGE factor. I have tons of friends that say when they are stressed (kids, schoolwork, studying, ect) they get a sense of being "there but they are not there". They do not freak out over it, and in time the feeling passes and they think no more of it. With anxiety, you are HYPER AWARE of everything. Every thought and feeling. That's why this feeling seems impossible to dismiss.

I'm going to be honest. I have it off and on lately. Why? Because I'm SUPER stressed out. Our family dog is VERY ill, work is crazy/hectic (in a good way), ect...but this feeling simply hold no fear anymore.
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Here is what I emailed a member in response to pictures/mirrors and DP: Yes, I did have the problem with the mirrors and the pictures. It's your mind playing tricks on you.

It's complicating because the anxiety keeps you in fear, but DP acts a way of disassociating yourself from everything, even yourself, while your emotions heal.

It is the result of a very, very tired mind. In time, once you take the fear away, you will start to feel better. Things will be familiar to you once again. Aken it to being drunk. Things look odd, distorted. But you know why you feel and see things this way...it's because you had a few to many beers. Think of fear as a beer. You've had a few to many frights. Your mind has to "sober up".

You all will get better. I promise. Chin up, have faith, and feel "drunk" for a while. Also, keep outer focused. You have devolved a habit of thinking inward about yourself and your problems. Think outward and you will feel "outward" in time








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## PrivateAlli (Mar 5, 2011)

ambrosialv said:


> You all will get better. I promise. Chin up, have faith, and feel "drunk" for a while. Also, keep outer focused. You have devolved a habit of thinking inward about yourself and your problems. Think outward and you will feel "outward" in time
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This may sound dumb.. But what do you mean by outer-focused? Outerthinking?

Alli.x


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