# Hey, Im new here



## Guest (Dec 22, 2005)

Im not sure where to start,or if this is even the place to talk but I will ramble and hopefully Im saying all this in the right place on here.
I havent been diagnosed by any doctor with hppd/dp/dr.....but I do feel I have hppd and dp.
I did various drugs at various times in the past :meth, ketamine, e, lsd, shrooms etc etc etc etc. 
I stopped drugs and then one day about 7 months later(August 2002) I woke up one morning and noticed that my vision suddenly changed, I never knew what hppd/dp/dr was at the time, not even sure how I came to finding out about them. I feel like Im in some reality unlike what I was living before, as if how I perceive everything is dreamlike. I dont really try and pay attention to it, but I cant look into the sky because its all little floaty dots, I get tracers off bright things,like lights, bright lights bother me and make me feel anxious, same goes with darkness,everything is strange altogether dealing with this,as if im not even living in my own head anymore.maybe someone understands. Ive been prescribed Celexa Citalopram for the 5th time(all other times I was weary of taking it because I didnt want to pump anymore drugs/prescription or not, into me) and Clonazepam, both of which I havent really been stable on before. I had an appointment the other day and took a clonazepam about an hour before, I felt like my eyes couldnt focus on anything and I felt like I wanted to fall asleep through the whole appointment. I know its a strong drug and most likely if I get more used to it, it wont be so bad. I have agoraphobia which Ive been diagnosed with & social anxiety, I would call it social phobia since I pretty much spend no time out at stores or around people,been stuck in my house for about a year. (from august 2002 until about a year ago,all the visual disturbances weren't really disturbances, and I had hardly any anxiety problems) then it got worse because of an incident at a mall where a friend of mine, not really a good friend, laughed at me when I started to panic.
I guess thats all I can say for now to explain.
If anyone would like to get ahold of me to talk more, my email is [email protected].
Aim - ironlionessszion
I also have a myspace account : http://www.myspace.com/_ironlionesszion_


























this is me

Peace and Much Love~
Stay Strong through the mess youre feeling!!! Iam!!
~bianca dahlia


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2005)

it would be nice to talk to some people from anywhere, ontario people would be cool to talk to also

Much Love

bianca


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## agentcooper (Mar 10, 2005)

hey  welcome to the site! love the dreds...


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## Guest_ (Sep 17, 2005)

I too cant look at the sky do to all the floaters, lights, and things of that nature. Its really frustrating. BUT it does get better if you dont stress out about them... at least for me. They havent totally gone away though. :?


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2005)

agentcooper said:


> hey  welcome to the site! love the dreds...


thank you very much, hope slc is treating you well. ive seen many pictures, its a beautiful city.

Take care, much love

bianca


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