# my kingdom for a hug



## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Today is just one of those days... me watnt cuddle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Where do you live?
I have the car running.............let's go........where......i'm waiting..........


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Tel Aviv


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## guitarman (Dec 11, 2008)

scylla said:


> Tel Aviv


Guess he'll need a plane.


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

hmmm
maybe he has one of those Harry Potterish flying cars.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

OK hold on.

I pretended to be a Canadian soldier and I am in Afghanistan at the moment.

I have stolen a jeep and am on my way.
It?s hot and there is no were to get a beer in this place.
Have one ready for me OK.
Hugs and beer. Perfect.


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## Guest (Dec 17, 2008)

Which kingdom, the Kingdom of Judah? It's a deal. In fact, you could have a hug for nothing. It'd do me good as well (I'm having a rough day). Sadly, Israel is around 2,300 miles away, so it's going to have to be an e-hug I'm afraid. Sorry.


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

SO e-hugs back to you BrainCandy 
and Mark...Im waiting with the beer, and the white flag


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

A big HUGE hug for you!!


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Thanks Sista.
Big fat teddybear hugs for you too. I wish we could hug our way out of this. Who knows, we should try, maybe it could help (at least there's no bad side effects)
hold on.
we'll make it through <3


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Many hugs for you =D


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I give to you one of those warm back rubbing hugs.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Ok, well, sorry about the delay.

I am being held hostage by a group calling themselves ?Muslims for Christ? they are aligned with a group called ?Orthodox Jews for Gay's?.

A third party is negotiating my release they are called? Sunnis and Shiites In Love?.

I am in Lebanon I think. Everybody is all confused here.

I am being treated well. I am being feed by Alcoholics Anonymous for Legalization of Marijuana. They mostly give me snack foods. I guess it because they are high all the time.

There is even a maid who belongs to a group called Christians Against Christ For God. I can't for the life of me figure out what they want. Everybody wants something over here!! They have published a book called - * Christians, Evolution, The Big band and You - why humans are so f-cked up.*
The book is 10 000 pages.
Most of it is the first chapter. The first chapter lists all of the things that can go wrong with the human mind and body. It is called "An Incomplete List of Human Suffering." 
Yes, I looked it up and DP is not in there - figures, it is an incomplete list.
Chapter 2 is called "Animals and Suffering - the argument for all animals being pets." It is short. This is what it says 
"Animals in the wild have an almost %0 chance of surviving long enough for God to kill them with old age. Pets on the other hand, if kept in doors, have a %90 chance of being killed by God by old age. No more need be said about animals and the opportunistic and vicious world God has created for them"
That?s it. The whole chapter.

When someone pays my ransom of a 60" flat screen HD TV I will be on my way for hugs and beer.
I have not showered in 2 weeks now so get ready.


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

:lol: @ you, Mark...


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

SistA HazeL said:


> :lol: @ you, Mark...


I am proud of that one.

thank goodness we can still have fun - eh?


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

You should have mentioned that earlier!Christians Against Christ for God are good friends with the group my kid belongs to: God against Christ for Christians. I can get you released after their Unchristmas holiday (they take their holidays very seriously). 
I knew nothing of the book you talked about, but I'm proof-reading "Rudolph. The Reindeer? : An autobiography" a heart warming true success story of an Elk that suffered from DID and had a reindeer power-driven personality which took over and pushed him to reach all his goals. (he also speaks about his love-hate relationship with Prancer, the terrible abuse he suffered on the hands of Mrs Claus, his addiction to pain-killers, and how the Scientology church saved his life and helped him come to terms with his being an Elk.)...An uplifting read if there's one!

So, I have no 60' flat screen, but I heard your ransom is open to auction. I'm starting my bid with a 1990 panasonic walkman, and I'm willing to throw in the batteries if they give you a proper bath before shipping you in...So as you can see, everything is under control.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Oh man! You creamed me!
That's outright, laugh out load funny.
God a 1990 walkman.

God against Christ for Christians - aaahhh - lets start it!!!!!!!

BTW what does "a bath?" mean?

The maid brings me toilet paper too???.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I am still being held. There is a problem.
Sunnis and Shiites In Love got the walkman and no-name brand batteries.








Thanks.
While there were trying to figure out what goes into it - everything could be a bomb here so they had to check that out first. 
"Writing Peace Man - A Walkman for Mark's Release" made them pretty much sure it was a bomb. If you had written "this is a Bomb to kill you for Mark's Release" on it, they would have laughed and just opened it.
Logic in the Middle East has been turned on its head.
I told my captors that I did not want food - just a shower.
So, I got food and no shower. 
I have this down now, and am starting to tell them that I like being kidnapped - because of the same type of abuse as a child that Mrs. Clause dishes out - and I want to join them in their fight for a shallow well and half acre of a date farm that the believe god has reserved for them. 
They were just itching to kick me out when this arrived!!








You have been out bid by "White People for Kwanzaa and 1960's South Africa?. They are not even white and there headquarters is in Pakistan in the mountains somewhere.
These are people who know what they want!
They are Hindus in a Moslem country that want Christians to build a church so that they can burn it down and have a party.
My friend is the enemy of my enemy type of thing to Unite Moslems and Hindu?s against Christians to put Pakistan and India back together again.
I thought calculus was tough!
It is strange here. It makes Italians look normal.

You had better come up with something ....too late I am off to Pakistan........


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2008)

[email protected] thread and mark! And Scylla is that book for real? LOL I wanna read it.

((hugs everyone))

The naughtypixy says she gave the people two old microwaves for the ransom-she said they can use them as scrap metal for building tanks or for nuclear experiments-or for cooking muchies-the athiests can put seeds in them and grow plants in them -like nuclear greenhouses-to prove that god didnt create plants and then they can all argue that science created microwaves but that god created nuclear power or was that science-then they can argue about who created the sun and the atom and all the other things that provide the means for things science uses.....they can use the microwaves to recreate the bang bang and bloody well find out if god created science too...but they didnt release Mark they increased the ransom because the orthodox jews for gays want to make Mark their new God for their scientific church......










(tongue in cheek -no offence to anyone!)


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Oh la la! Thou shall not mess with the Ultra Ortodox Jews for Gays!!!! They have been known to throw parades with trance music and flashy rainbow flags. They ARE dangerous; if they have set their eyes on Mark, not even all the naughty pixies in the world can keep them from converting Mark into drag. On the other hand, that may work fine with the "White People for Kwanzaa and 1960's South Africa" they don't buy into platform shoes and beehive wigs, they like their women in burkas. So Mark, if you can hear me, tell them your name is Hedwig and perform that Girls Just Wanna Have Fun number you did last Christmas!!!

Luv:
Private SNAFU (look this one up on the internet, its worth it)


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## Guest (Dec 21, 2008)

scylla said:


> Oh la la! Thou shall not mess with the Ultra Ortodox Jews for Gays!!!! They have been known to throw parades with trance music and flashy rainbow flags. They ARE dangerous; if they have set their eyes on Mark, not even all the naughty pixies in the world can keep them from converting Mark into drag.


*Hedwig*









:shock: Are you serious, we have to do something!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Hey guy,s don't worry about me man. We made it to the hid - out of "White People for Kwanzaa and 1960's South Africa?. It's in the mountains and these people don't need to burn a Church to party!!
I am not even guarded. I am hooked on heroin and don't want to go!! That's how they do it. They keep you by partying so hard with you that you don't want to go.

We made it up the mountains in this








This is what I look like now except I wiped off my makeup and removed my wig and padded bra and stuff - my gear.








But I feel great!!!
?Orthodox Jews for Gay's? caught up with us because they had a plane. This is them getting ready to fly up the mountains








These guys loooove to party and they are not just for gays they are all gay as hell!!
"White People for Kwanzaa and 1960's South Africa? love gay people for some reason and so now it is 24 hour party.
Being the new guy they did dress me up like a woman - but I love it.
I hope my wife does not see these pictures but she has always tried to get me to put on panties for some reason. She may like this new look?
Thankfully because I make such a convincing woman the ?Orthodox Jews for Gay's? let me be, and are hitting on - and with some, measure of success -"White People for Kwanzaa and 1960's South Africa? . Nobody judges, nobody gets hurt and everybody is having a ball.
Update:
As you can see from my picture I am clearly burning out and need to be rescued. I have put a map into this pouch on this 









We are all way too f-cked up to drive or fly so send someone sober and get me out of here before I lose my virginity.
They hunt in packs and I am not in drag at the moment so I must go.....oh boy.....well I will tell you what it is like to have sex with a bunch of really high men I suppose...."be gentle plea.........."


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I soiled myself and they left me alone. I am still a virgin.
But I have not showered in a month and am soiled.
I will have to clean myself with snow and then put my dress and gear back on so that I am safe.
That was close. please hurry.
Can you get one of these in Islamabad 








You can get them in exchange for one of these








Peace man those are my fingers.
I don?t want let you see me in my gear.

So just fly to Reallyreallybad from Islamabad

The closest town is called ReallyReallybad.


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## Guest (Dec 22, 2008)

Hes lieing.The naughtypixy went all the way to seek out this place called ReallyReallybad but got ReallyReallylost because its actually called ReallyReallygood.Once she found it she saw that Mark was having a ReallyReallygood time-hes totally converted-he is now the God of the Orthodox pagans for bisexual elfs group.Here is the proof......You have to wait a few seconds for it to come up on the screen...

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/2SKOBaw02YdvSDCQJu3G


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

hahahaha! I laughed so hard I spilled all my tea into my keyboard 
You naughty, naughty elf MArk! Spirit, the fairies, and myself have been trading secrets and risking our lives to save you...and you're having a blast! 
I'm cursing you:

You shall feel an irresistible urge to dress in a crocodile custom and cue in the bank for no purpose, you shall feel at home in no other place than the dentist's waiting room, you will stick your tongue in a frozen pole, you shall chase and bite the mailman every morning!!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Please guys please I am not having fun.
It is very cold and wind is blowing up my dress and I have no tights or panties.
How did woman end up with dresses? Dresses suck. 
What does that say about Scottish men?
No time to worry about them - they eat deep fried Mars Bars - they are a write off.

So it's like way too much of a good thing. 
I am fried. 
"Orthodox Jews for Gays" want to move me to Gaemanistan. (Gay Man Istan)
You, being woman, will not be allowed into the country.

So, I am sitting on a hill with my legs crossed and my penis has shrunk to an alarmingly small size from the cold. 
What if it freezes and drops off? 
I suppose that may explain dresses. There is nothing to freeze off - but Scottish men come to mind again. It's really not that warm there.
I am using my compact to reflect the dull sunlight. So, look for flashes from the top of a hill then you fly around in your chopper.
Wear pants!! It is an open cockpit chopper - cockpit - I could use some kind of "cockpit? for mine.
I would describe this place as a "cockpit" because of the intense homosexual activity around here.
They do heroin and then take Viagra so that they can "do it".
Have you ever seen anyone "on the nod" with am erection? It's just all wrong.
I hide when they do "speed balls" of Coke and Viagra. They will make love to a rock. Not screw it, but make love to it, because they are so good natured.
They care about the rock's feelings in a way. They are like children. There is no such thing as an inanimate object. Everything is alive to them and fare game for love making.
But mix that with drugs and you find people talking to trees and buildings and stuff.
So I just don't fit in.
Come and get me!!


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## Guest (Dec 23, 2008)

Mark said:


> It is very cold and wind is blowing up my dress and I have no tights or panties.
> How did woman end up with dresses? Dresses suck.
> 
> So, I am sitting on a hill with my legs crossed and my penis has shrunk to an alarmingly small size from the cold.
> ...


Hahahaha! it sounds awesome, have fun and send photos.

ThenaughtyPixie. :wink:


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Waiting!!!!


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

Mark, sounds like you're having:
1) a psychotic break
2) a bad trip
3) an interesting idea for a novel


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Mark/ Hedwig:

We've sent your case to the NATO headquarters. They say they will help...as soon as they solve the conflict on the middle east, Iran, Georgia, LIbia, and the Iceland debt is sorted out.
Their instructions until they reach you: relax and try to enjoy.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

scylla said:


> Mark/ Hedwig:
> 
> We've sent your case to the NATO headquarters. They say they will help...as soon as they solve the conflict on the middle east, Iran, Georgia, LIbia, and the Iceland debt is sorted out.
> Their instructions until they reach you: relax and try to enjoy.


Let's get married when this is over.
I think I am falling on love with you - Iceland debt - I laughed so hard I cried. You keep this fresh with curve balls.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NATO does not operate in Gaemanistan where we are going today.

I am interested in how an all male and gay country even works.

They tell me they keep the population level steady with these sorts of abductions.
That means they have no intention of releasing me.

It is an I island in the Mediterranean. I am getting further away.

But at least it's warm and my dress will do some good - keeping my genitals cool.

Even so dresses continue to puzzle me?
Why? How?
Its like a business mans tie. What the hell is that all about. It' jus plain f-cked.

Transportation details to come.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

egodeath said:


> Mark, sounds like you're having:
> 1) a psychotic break
> 2) a bad trip
> 3) an interesting idea for a novel


All of the above brother!!!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

We will be heading down the mountian with one of these









Except that it is huge, it holds 37 people and has a machine gun turret on the back to defend againsts snow pirates.
Snow pirates are not what you think. It's just a coincidence that they are active mostly in the mountians.
They are after our Coke (snow). They know that gay partiers are guaranteed to have Coke.

We will take a trail to the sea with these








I have keept my virginity. There is no hope for these guys. Anything goes.

We are bringing alonge the equiptment to fix up this boat for 37 totally stoned people.








I am not looking forward to the boat trip.

I am not looking forward to any part of this journy.

What a Christmas!

It is better than spending it with my family.


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## Guest (Dec 25, 2008)

egodeath said:


> 1) a psychotic break
> 2) a bad trip


I claim the first two...christmas and families ........


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

scylla said:


> Mark/ Hedwig:
> 
> We've sent your case to the NATO headquarters. They say they will help...as soon as they solve the conflict on the middle east, Iran, Georgia, LIbia, and the Iceland debt is sorted out.
> Their instructions until they reach you: relax and try to enjoy.


My instructions to them are "Hurry the F-ck up!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Help.


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## Anla (May 1, 2007)

Hey, just inform them that you should be appointed Most Supeme Royal Sheik of the Bureau of the [email protected]@ked But Most Yet Alive Ones. And that they shall issue to you a Flying Jet Car. Immediately.
Then you will become the Ambassador of Hugs!
First stop Tel Aviv.


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

hold on. According to new instructions, all NATO members of operaton save hedwig are to take an on-line IQ test (provided here in another thread) to prove they are mentally fit for the struggle. So far not a member has scored above 14 points. They are trying to recruit Forest Gump, but the fame has gotten the best of him.
On the other hand the pixies have been summoned by myself, I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS WARRYING COUNTRY I LIVE IN!

Ahh, the relief of screaming!

So Mark, If things keep up escalating here in the middle east, I might meet you soon in gaymanistan, or wherever you are!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Anla said:


> Hey, just inform them that you should be appointed Most Supeme Royal Sheik of the Bureau of the [email protected]@ked But Most Yet Alive Ones. And that they shall issue to you a Flying Jet Car. Immediately.
> Then you will become the Ambassador of Hugs!
> First stop Tel Aviv.


I will give more than Hugs if I get a Jet Car.
I want to have a baby - or at least go through the motions - with scylla and get married.
It would be fun for life!!
Happiness at last!!
Love on a monumental and funny scale!!

We could fly over the Palestinians and put out all the fires.

Then spray love gas over everybody and end the blood shed.
We can live out our lives in Tel Aviv in peace with Palestinian neighbors.

We can look after each others kids when we need time to make more ? or at least go through the motions.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

> all NATO members of operaton save hedwig are to take an on-line IQ test (provided here in another thread) to prove they are mentally fit for the struggle. So far not a member has scored above 14 points


Damn!!
They must be Dutch - or Canadians.

You would not be happy in Gaemanistan.
Know one would whistle and make rude comments about you as we stroll past a construction site (it's always a new Romanesque bath house under construction - its like donut shops in Canada: they are everywhere) they would be ogling at me.

That would not sit right with me.

I want the guys yelling at my new wife scylla.

Please get some Scandinavians involved in Operation Hedwig.
Even the dumb ones would bring up the Intelligence Quotient to average.


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

so maybe I'll try for gaypeopleistan, there I can be harassed by the fair sex :wink:

scandinavians are very busy now donating their seed, there's a growing demand for them at the insemination centers...and since they are very charitable...but I'll try to move my contacts see what can be done.

But there is good news: Tom Cruise sais he is ready to rescue you if you join his cult, sorry, church. and Michael Jackson wants to switch places with you as long as he can bring Bubbles with him, and he's guaanteed there is enough young people.
O reilly wants to interview you after you're free, and they are planning to add a Hedwig/Mark character to southpark to fight against the robot-monster Barbara Streisand,
The UN promised immediate release if the canadian government performs an operation to perpetually silence Celine Dione. (or however her name is spelled)


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I am in living hell - but you slay me even so.
I love you!!
How do you think up this stuff up?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
It is very difficult to get to Celine Dione. She has recieved so many death threats that she gets more secret service protection than our ignorant and foolish Prime Minister. He is barely protected - everyone agrees that he should just die.

These death threats are usually received written on a ticket stub from her las Vegas concerts and on her CD's.

She is just to stupid to know how bad she is.

Gaypeoplestan. That sound like a great place. I have heard of it.

Everybody half naked and partying in the streets. Topless or with leather pants with the bum's cut out of them.
Condoms rain down from the sky.

Artificial insemination tto keep the population up - try buying a Turkey Baster there. Sold out!
Having 2 mothers is normal.

You know who your father is and on weekends you hand out with him and his boyfriend.

Everything is turned around.
It is beautiful to see that it works and children who turn out not to be gay are given a special coming out party - Breeder Mitzvah it is called. Everybody celebrates that these people are straight and try to make them as comfortable as possible with their sexuality.
Straight people usually leave at about 21 years old and another celebration happens.

It is called Bye Today - Gay Tomorrow - it's just a joke.
Everyone there knows that a straight person can not be turned gay and vice versa.

I will meet you there. Maybe they will through us an honorary Breeder Mitzvah on the Oprah show.

Then we can make love for days, lying in our own mess, and drinking just the right amount of wine and eating exotic foods like naturally frozen grapes from Mongolia.

Tom Cruise will be no help at all.
If he comes to Gaemanestan he will stay - no doubt about it.

I am going to escape to Gaypeoplestan. It is the next island over.
They are the only neighbouring islands in the world with separate governmens and cultures to never go to war.
I have bought this from these people








with these








and a promissory note for a set of these if I survive.









I am honored to be on South Park. Maybe Celine Dion could be killed in every show along with Kenny.

I have to get going.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I have made a gruesome discovery between these islands.
I have found the body of that young woman who jumped of the cruse ship.
She has a smile. Clearly this is what she wanted.

I have wrapped her in my blanket and weighed it down with cans of food and said many prayers for her.

It has been a good trip so far.
Calm seas and sunshine.

I have a friend dolphin named George Bushes.
I named her after both of them.
She brings me raw fish ad sticks to make a fire.
I have to dry them of course.

She took the body down to a beautiful coral reef and replaced the cans with stones and brought the cans to back to me.

She tells me that she has 2 sex holes.
One for fun and one for getting pregnant.
What a great idea!!
I said it was almost the same with humans, but that not everyone liked anal sex - we laughed until we cried. 
I said I would do almost anything consensual.
She asked me to do it with her ? I draw the line at other species. She understood.
Then she said ?in that case I have 2 holes for fun?.
We cried with joy again.

I am still dressed as a woman.
She loves it.
She sees mostly men out at sea.

She tells me it will just be a day or so until I get to gaypeoplestan.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I thought that I saw land. 
It was just this








What this is doing in the Mediterranean I do not know.

George Bushes has not seen one of these before.
She loves to rub against it.
She has never felt cold - she has never met my wife.

OH gracious.
There it is!!










I have sent George Bushes to take pictures.
Are you there yet Scylla?
Is that you?









Oh lord look at that!









Talk about anal sex!
They are praying to the god of it.
Perhaps this is a "coming out straight" party - Bye today - Gay tomorrow.

I am getting out of my dress.
I am not looking so good
I will be naked for my arrival so as not to offend anyone.
I look like this.









Oops. They see me.









I will keep you posted.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

iI work so hard!!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I have put my dress back on.

I have been accepted.

In fact they want to make me Queen.

How do these things happen to me?

The question is am I going to be ?Queen? or ?a Queen.?

So far so good.
The lesbians love me.
I think this is a good way to pick up chicks ? wear a dress and tasteful makeup.

I am faced with this choice. 
Do more coke and party or go to bed.
I am off to bed.
I am sick of coke and partying.

Where are you Scylla?

If you took a PET scan of my head now there would only be one lit up area.
A special spot reserved for you Scalla.
It's keeping me going and has taken over all of my automatic functions.
You now make me breath and my heart pump.


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

:lol: :lol:


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2009)

Mark said:


> She tells me that she has 2 sex holes.
> One for fun and one for getting pregnant.
> What a great idea!!


LMFAO, that is an effing genius idea!



Mark said:


> Oh lord look at that!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


LOL Mark you VERY effing funny!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Well, where do I start?

Everyone has their cloths back on.
These people are very civilized.

I wish there was a straight island as sophisticated and advanced in their thinking as these people are.

They know that a tiny Island can not support this large a population without being extremely careful.

I love these people so much.

I sill have not found Scylla.
I am becoming depressed about this. What if we never even actually meet?
That's simply unacceptable.
I can't imagine going on without her.
I am hoping that it is just her DP/DR slowing her down a bit.

That nude celebration is called "trashing".

These people have created a "God of Garbage ? The Great Creator Of The Universe".
Nobody believes in him it's all just a joke.

He is the creator and we on the island are the garbage really.

So, someone dresses up as the son of the creator with his pet donkey:









I have protected the donkey?s identity - oh, and the son too.

This is very close to the Christian son story but is in no way meant to insult or offend other believers.

You see, they just took a good look at that other story and decided it was too cruel and they could not use it.

IN this story, the son of God it sent to earth to collect garbage of every kind - he needs the donkey for the physical garbage.
The real work for him is the garbage that collects in peoples heads.

There are many Christians on this island.
He has his work cut out for him with these people. He will say things like ?please excuse my donkey. He has a problem with flatulence".
When he will say ?I have read your book and you do not follow what it taught - that is garbage. There is a ?disconnect?. Religion is not a "pass" to do what you want. You must start to behave like the hero of this book of yours"
Interesting, yet so simple. 
He expects Christians to try to act like Christ.

Moslems. Jews. Seeks- everyone gets the same treatment. He will strip away the garbage and point to the truth.
Everyone is embarrassed.

He tells parents to pull their kids out of school at then end of grade 9. He says that they don't learn much after that grade. They must work for a couple of years then go back to school.

He will say ?don?t be silly people, your teens are smoking pot, drinking and having all kind of sex" well the people get all indignant and upset and so he pulls out pictures of all of the parents doing just those things as teens themselves.
He calls these "Get Real You Fu-cken Dopes" sessions.

I like these session a lot. I fall over laughing. It?s like facebook in 20 years.
Boy that will came back to haunt some people when they have kids.

Hypocrisy is his larges collection campaign.

When he is so full of other people?s garbage he calls all of the children under ten to have a meeting.
These are called "PooPooPeePee Flushy Parties" - the kids are instantly interested. Attendance if voluntary but 100%

They tell funny stories and jokes, have food fights, cover themselves in mud, eat pure sugar by the handful and laugh their faces off.








The more out of control the better.
This flushes the mental garbage out of the creator?s sons mind.
Then they sing this song to the tune of "Row Row Your Boat Gently Down The Stream"
It goes like this:
*Row row row your poo
Gently down the pee.
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is but a puke.*

Some parents join in after the kids have finished.









Then the kids fan out and spread cheer all around the island all covered in mud and laughing until there guts hurt.
This is highly contagious. Adults who are getting all twisted up because there lean-to is not waterproofed yet and not as nice as there neighbors start to settle down. The get some coconut booze and just sit down and relax and smile at there filthy kids having total fun.
A leaky lean-to is more fun for kids.
This is an important lesson for the creator?s son to spread.

Kids like a leaky lean-to better ? remember that. It is the meaning of life.

So, this story of the son of god has no end. It is open ended and he continues to collect garbage of all types.

One great thing about this is you get to believe in something that you can see.
It makes it much easier to have full faith.
Also, unlike the other story this son of god?s creator would never be so cruel as to have his son hung on a cross to slowly die in unimaginable physical and mental pain.

Talk about abandonment issues.

This father wants to see his son live a full, meaningful and productive life.
It is his only son and is super protective of him - as any decent creator of the universe would be. 
He has chosen a wonderful girlfriend for his son and they have had sex before marriage and live together.
The creator wants them to be sure that they are in love.

There will be no death at the hands of the people who believe that garbage of all kind is in their best interest.
These people do exist.
The creator has great fun with them
Their lean-tos always leak and they can never find the source.
He makes them trip and fall in front of large groups of caring people who run to their rescue - this pisses them off and slowly changes them. 
There is no punishment.
The most important weapon against these people is their children, who the creator makes very smart and enlightened. This shames the patents into better behavior.
Sham works better than just telling.

Scylla. I need you. What has happened to the NATO force?

I am not sure that I want to leave now.

I am so confused.

I miss my kids.

I miss you.

I miss love.

I miss a good friend.

I miss a home.

I miss someone to take care of and to take care of me.

I miss the intense exchange in body fluids.

I miss chatting with someone who is only one inch away from me.

I am crying.


----------



## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Hmm, I don't think you need NATO anymore, I wouldn't risk them people disupting and spoiling all that innocence.
I'm all for the kids ceremony, mud and all (you do have washing machines there, don't you?)
and as far as I'm concerned, this messiah can collect all the garbage in my head.
Hmmm. 
Hmmm.
Really dont know what to say. :? Got a tummy ache, so I'm not that funny today.

please send my regards to George Bushes, where is she now?


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

He can have all of the garbage in my head also. Poor donkey!

George Bushes has been messing with me.
It turns out she is a member of this forum.
Her real name is EverDream.
She looks like this:








and this:








and this:








Or this:








Depending on her mood.
She has been called up to fight in the Israeli army in Gaza.
Yes, she is an Israeli.
She has promised to send me some photo's soon.
I must say I am not looking forward to them.


----------



## Guest (Jan 5, 2009)

LOL and more LOL. You are the God of LOL Mark.

But shouldnt this go in thats life now.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

It started as a request.

I have no idea where it should go and I don't realy care - I used to care.

You know what I mean.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

OK an update for anyone who is interested.

The island community of Gaypeoplestan has been infiltrated by a group calling themselves "Conservatives For nudity and Social and Fiscal Responsibility".

Well funny thing is there is a splinter group that is for nudity and fiscal responsibility but not social conservatism.

They broke away and the social conservatives were going to have them abducted by calling them terrorists so "extraordinary rendition" by the CIA was imminent - nice people these conservatives.
I wonder if Christ approves.

This splinter group confessed to the people of the Island who they were and said that they supported the people on the island. 
They where given a very well outfitted boat and plenty of fuel to get away from the CIA.
It is so easy to fool the CIA. 
All these people did saw FedEx their cell phone to Barbados and the CIA was off.

They say we are on our way to the British Virgin Islands. They looked very uncomfortable when they say this. They are not good liars.
Also, I noted that the sun was suddenly rising in the west and setting in the east.

I peeked at their GPS.
We are headed for Iceland. 
I joked that Iceland was my wife?s adopted home country and we laughed our heads off. 
We all became friends happy that we all knew the truth.

We are to join up with a group with the absurd name of "Vikings for Peace and Woman?s Rights"
They put the Oxy in Oxymoron!!!

So off we go!!

These people are normal. However they are small.
They gave me cloths but I feel like a street performing monkey.










This is me on the exercise bike in the boats gym.
Talk soon.

Don?t forget me!


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## Guest (Jan 6, 2009)

Mark said:


> It started as a request.
> 
> I have no idea where it should go and I don't realy care - I used to care.
> 
> You know what I mean.


OK, keep your wig on Hedwig!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I have had to keep the Wig.
I use it as a hat.
It is getting cold and I am in charge of chopping the frozen sea spray off the boat.
I love this job.
Because they are Scanenavian they follow all of the safty rules and I am tied off and observed every second I am out there when it is nessesary..

George Bushes took this photo of me.
One of the crew took apart a wet suite and sewed one for George Bushes so that she could handle the cold.
BTW she is AWAL.
I could have used a wet suite while I was married. Oh well. Next time.









It is an easy job but super important.
Fuck these people are nice.

I sill feel empty though.
I am still a hostige.

A hostage like Patty Hurst.
I have joined the other side.
I am a willing hostage of yours scylla.

However I am waiting to be abducted or something by you.
When you do, I will perform any task that you can think of :shock: - I am your servant. :wink: 
We have not met but love comes in many forums. 
Love from the inside out is the purest of them all: except the love between mother and child - you can't beat that.
I wonder what you look like??

I am not a suck.
I will carry on even though you are sill half a world away and getting even further.
These people are so calm and reasonable. It is bound to irritate me, but for now it is perfect.
Everyone is so polite and they eat so perfectly and behave so civilized at meals.
It makes me want to scream out loud or start a food fight. Burp - fart - something.

Is this the immature North American in me?
Or my basic personality?

What ever it is, it makes me much more fun in the sack than most - this is what I have been told.

It may take months or a year to finally get that beer and give you that hug.
I can wait.

Soon we will be able to communicate directly through an internet hook-up they are working on.

They have a Mac so nothing is working with the web.
It will take some time.

I have met up with George Bushes. She has pictures from Gaza. I cried and I cried. 
A half blown up child is something you can never forget.
It would turn me into a freedom fighter - you can count on that.
You don't want me as an enemy after you have blown up my family.
I am patient cunning and sly. I would even join the other side to get to the top.
I am not kidding. Why kill some anonymous enemy when you could get in there and f-ck the whole thing up.

It is not fare expecting you to wait for me.
You must do what you have to do.

A beer and a hug is all that I expect ? kiss on the cheek would be good.

I am safe.
I am looked after.
I am half empty floating in the middle of the Ocean ? that?s not your problem.
You have a whole panoply of your own problems.
Could Ireland declare war on Israel? - that would be interesting.

This is uncharted territory for me.

I feel like a balloon accidentally let go buy a child. Just floating around and being pushed by a cold wind.
This is our boat


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Oops.
We are bogged down in the ice.
Trapped.
The Canadian Navy is on its way.

I don?t see how they can save us with boats from WWII movies sets.
Canada will never be attacked or go to war so a ship thatactually can fire something is unnecessary.
Props a perfect and cheap.

The Canadian Navy boast of 379 ships. 
367 of those can be blown up with compressed air if needed.

Our internet hookup is active.

scylla I have been trying to talk directly to you.
However, some prick from Toronto Canada is talking to you the second you log on and then for 5 hous every night ? then you log off.

I am not the jealous type. As I have said you must do what you have too.
It?s just irritating ? I mean, what could you possibly find to talk about every night?
Do you not sleep?
This guy sounds like a creep. You understand I am only looking out for your best interest.

Anyway, why not meet me in Iceland for a hug ? and beer.
Just don?t bring that Canadian along.
Iceland is not big enough for both of us ? and you.

I spoke with Bjork.

She will be there for the next six weeks and I looking forward to meeting her again ? she used to open for us in Canada.

Her voice was so beautiful I would stand back stage and start to tear up.
She is more than pleasant too.

Her last name is Gu?mundsd?ttir ? I just called her Goo.
It?s just not fare to expect anyone to pronounce that!!!

I am looking forward to sharing with you some M?vatn hangikjot, Kea skyr from Akureyri, West Fjords har?fiskur and puffin in the Westman Islands.

That?s got to be tasty.
This Canadian guy better not f-ck things up.

If I end up dating Bjork again, she is going to start throwing car parts, bottles and cutlery, or whatever she finds lying around, off of mountain cliffs again.
She goes through all this before I wake up so that she can feel safe with me again ? strange chick.

On the boat we are starting to get on each others nerves just a bit, so we eat outside sometimes.










Plenty of booze. But not for me. 
I am not into this polite orgy thing that goes on after the drinking:

?My you sleep with me tonight please Mr. Mark, and when I mean sleep I mean only after we have gotten to know each other, spent some time talking about life and that the planet is doomed and about what we are about to do, then ask if it is ok, and then do what we agreed we where going to do, and then clean up after and see if marriage and children are a possibility - then we can sleep if there is still time.?

Wow. That just kills it for me every time.
Especially the cleaning up part.
I don?t want to clean anything up if I am in love!
The messier the better.
F-ck that!

I?m no f-cking Buddhist but this is enlightenment.
Today has never happened and it doesn?t frighten me.

I can see Iceland from here through a powerful telescope mounted on the ship.

Damn!! The Israei?s are bombing Iceland now.
Those are Palestinian civilian tourists in a UN sanctioned safety zone tour!!
Oh brother.
More dead mothers and kids..










Ok here comes the Canadian Navy










They don?t have a chance against Israel.
All the Israelis have to say is Naeam lifgosh otcha and Canada will surrender.
Then we will ask Bira, bevakasha and see if a party breaks out instead of war.

The Israelis do not party at war time so Canada will unilaterally declare a party and start drinking.
Guilt will soon settle in and the Canadians will say to the Isrealis Ani margish ra and Toda and Me'eifo ata ? and the Israelis will say Israel you drunken fools.
Then the Canadians will say Ben kama ata ? At this point the Israelis will just walk away with the Canadians shouting - Tihie be cesher and Lehitraot and Ani margish ra and Ani me New York 
(this is a mistake in the handbook) and then Ani beseder..
I love being Canadian.
I wish the Israeli?s would bomb that Canadian dude taking up all of your time.

He is not a civilian so he is safer than anyone else.


----------



## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Oops.
We are bogged down in the ice.
Trapped.
The Canadian Navy is on its way.

I don?t see how they can save us with boats from WWII movies sets.
Canada will never be attacked or go to war so a ship thatactually can fire something is unnecessary.
Props a perfect and cheap.

The Canadian Navy boast of 379 ships. 
367 of those can be blown up with compressed air if needed.

Our internet hookup is active.

scylla I have been trying to talk directly to you.
However, some prick from Toronto Canada is talking to you the second you log on and then for 5 hous every night ? then you log off.

I am not the jealous type. As I have said you must do what you have too.
It?s just irritating ? I mean, what could you possibly find to talk about every night?
Do you not sleep?
This guy sounds like a creep. You understand I am only looking out for your best interest.

Anyway, why not meet me in Iceland for a hug ? and beer.
Just don?t bring that Canadian along.
Iceland is not big enough for both of us ? and you.

I spoke with Bjork.

She will be there for the next six weeks and I looking forward to meeting her again ? she used to open for us in Canada.

Her voice was so beautiful I would stand back stage and start to tear up.
She is more than pleasant too.

Her last name is Gu?mundsd?ttir ? I just called her Goo.
It?s just not fare to expect anyone to pronounce that!!!

I am looking forward to sharing with you some M?vatn hangikjot, Kea skyr from Akureyri, West Fjords har?fiskur and puffin in the Westman Islands.

That?s got to be tasty.
This Canadian guy better not f-ck things up.

If I end up dating Bjork again, she is going to start throwing car parts, bottles and cutlery, or whatever she finds lying around, off of mountain cliffs again.
She goes through all this before I wake up so that she can feel safe with me again ? strange chick.

On the boat we are starting to get on each others nerves just a bit, so we eat outside sometimes.










Plenty of booze. But not for me. 
I am not into this polite orgy thing that goes on after the drinking:

?My you sleep with me tonight please Mr. Mark, and when I mean sleep I mean only after we have gotten to know each other, spent some time talking about life and that the planet is doomed and about what we are about to do, then ask if it is ok, and then do what we agreed we where going to do, and then clean up after and see if marriage and children are a possibility - then we can sleep if there is still time.?

Wow. That just kills it for me every time.
Especially the cleaning up part.
I don?t want to clean anything up if I am in love!
The messier the better.
F-ck that!

I?m no f-cking Buddhist but this is enlightenment.
Today has never happened and it doesn?t frighten me.

I can see Iceland from here through a powerful telescope mounted on the ship.

Damn!! The Israei?s are bombing Iceland now.
Those are Palestinian civilian tourists in a UN sanctioned safety zone tour!!
Oh brother.
More dead mothers and kids..










Ok here comes the Canadian Navy










They don?t have a chance against Israel.
All the Israelis have to say is Naeam lifgosh otcha and Canada will surrender.
Then we will ask Bira, bevakasha and see if a party breaks out instead of war.

The Israelis do not party at war time so Canada will unilaterally declare a party and start drinking.
Guilt will soon settle in and the Canadians will say to the Isrealis Ani margish ra and Toda and Me'eifo ata ? and the Israelis will say Israel you drunken fools.
Then the Canadians will say Ben kama ata ? At this point the Israelis will just walk away with the Canadians shouting - Tihie be cesher and Lehitraot and Ani margish ra and Ani me New York 
(this is a mistake in the handbook) and then Ani beseder..
I love being Canadian.
I wish the Israeli?s would bomb that Canadian dude taking up all of your time.

He is not a civilian so he is safer than anyone else.


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## scylla (Nov 5, 2008)

Oh, no worries, Israel will never bomb Iceland, they dont know it exists 
and if they happen to meet drunk partying Canadians on their way they will probably say : open the light achi, I invited a pizza, where are all the cusiot?



Mark said:


> Ok here comes the Canadian Navy.


 :lol: :lol:


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

scylla said:


> Oh, no worries, Israel will never bomb Iceland, they dont know it exists
> and if they happen to meet drunk partying Canadians on their way they will probably say : open the light achi, I invited a pizza, where are all the cusiot?
> 
> 
> ...


Look at that ? there?s less fish in the sea
Look at that and less of me.

Oh good.
It?s safe to meet there then - what about the Americans?
They think bombing is a cure for people getting hurt.
They also believe in this Christ chap and a fairy that puts money under your pillow if you put a tooth under it.

It works. I went to the morgue and got some extra teeth - they where just going to be put into the ground or burnt to ashes.

I made $1.25 for 5 teeth.

Life is good some times and then some religious person will tell me it is bad to take dead peoples teeth, eat a cow, eat a pig, eat fish on a certain day or eat food that is not blessed by some special guy who is somehow closer to God than everybody else. 
God still finds a way to kill these people either by car crash or something or by killing them with old age - what are you supposed to do to make this guy happy? - Brother.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

*Scylla *
I love you and miss you sooo - even thought I have never met you or seen what you look like.

You could be a 3 year old horse from Kentucky for all I know.

It is your mind that I love - so far. 
It is entwined in mine. 
Ensconced.
It would require surgery to remove you at this point.
You are alive in me.
The PET thing will have changed.
My brain, lit up like an Xmas tree - but it's not me - it's you.
You have moved in without taking up extra space.
You are in the unused part of my brain and fertilizer for my soul - that?s not really very romantic - is it?

I have written a poem for you.

Deep sadness continues in the parts of my brain that you have not reached into yet.
Winter has come and now the sun will go down for months.
I am old and frail in these un - reached brain areas.

Doubt persists in there.
What if I don't make it to you?
What if we never meet?
What if I die out here?
What if you get hit by a missile or shot by an Orthodox Jew because you work for that Liberal chap.
What if you don't like me now?
What f that Canadian bastard, who is taking up all of your free time, gets to you first.
He must be a loser.
Why is he not out with friends?
When does he work?
Why does he not just walk to the house next door and start talking to them - what is his f-ching problem?
I am not jealous of this guy. He just sounds like a waste of space - prick - the prick - the Canadian prick!!! Aaaaahhhhhh.
What if you are disappointed when we meet because you find out that I am not 6' 6".
What if, what if, what if............
Please tell me that you love me and fill my mind. Please fill this part of my mind with positive energy.

Oh, I am going too fast.
Expecting too much - like I always say "it's not your problem"
I do owe you a hug and I intend to fulfill my obligation - I will then leave if that is what you want.

At this point life will have dealt me a decisive blow. 
It will have done what DP could not accomplish - death on the inside.

I have written a poem that I hope will impress you.
It may backfire.
There is a Nordic saying that goes something like this "we all assumed you were intelligent Mr Mark; until you started to speak".

This is me at 90 years old and you have stayed 30ish.
I can not age you Scylla.
God will have that job and I hate him for it - ageing me? - It?s ok - but not for you. Not for you.

The earth takes the light for six weeks and some days
Let?s darkness survive - and the living away

I close this life - that makes us be?
Fools alone - alone at sea
With land and people all around you ?? -?? and me.

I?m finally open, open to see.
But now I am old, with no love in me.

You will live on forever in the hearts of all man
I am sullied and broken
And will be forgotten

We still have years of living the truth
For me bitter years - wasted time and lost youth.

Charted a course now for nothing no were and no one
I can no longer look at a child and loved one.
Two on each other trying to be one
One one one - to much fucking one

The irony lies there heavy and thick.
Everything?s back, with fuck all to do with it.
Can a Dorian?s picture take the oldness away?
No. It has no intentions - it?s just here to stay

With the ebb and swell
I am sick - I can tell!!
You?ll take it all you bastard
Take it all to hell

But a life lived for others was all I could do!
I?m sorry - not whole - it was all for you.
Gone so gone.
No write of wrong.
I sail till dead ? gone gone gone

Dancing with fairies ? can I still do?
No no no. (Like a child being scolded here, ok Scylla)
The unacceptable happened.

I leave them.
Worse !!Worse!!!Worse!!!!!

I leave you.

Ok, well, this has got to work.
It makes me cry.
If this does not make you go all gooey; what will?
This is my best shot - so far.
If this doesn?t work I am F-cked - so far.
What the hell is a good poem anyways?


----------



## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Spirit your right.

This is a *not* story - just in case anyone should think otherwise.


----------



## Guest (Jan 10, 2009)

No no no.

I thought it was a news feed of current events. I stopped watching Sky news and the ITV news at ten because of this.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Have a look at this!!
This is my brother doing all of the yalling.



He converted so that people would assume he was intelligent - and he is - and he has balls.

"Orthodox Jews For Gays" would carry him around on their shoulders.
Then the would mix Crack and Viagra and have a party.
My brother would just smile and watch. He is no killjoy. He loves harmless fun.

So do I. So being "frozen in" is starting to take its toll.
These Nordics _are_ starting to get on my nerves.

Sometimes I fill their mittens up with water while they are sleeping.
Then I put very fine shards of glass into there under pants.

This is immature but necessary for my sanity and theirs.
The are so used to organization and having things go as planned all the time.

A fly in the ointment is good for them.

Sometimes I put all of the left snowshoes together and all of the rights together.
You would not believe what confusion this causes. The figure it out quickly but can't for the life of then figure out how and why this would happen.
One day I just put 2 lefts on and went for a walk.
They would not talk to me for days - that was ok. I get tired of "are you good today Mr. Mark? We are fine."
Then I say "well why do you scratch you crotch so much and your snowshoes are all messed up?"
They have no answer.

Things have gone from bad to worse with Scylla.

We finally got to talk and then we got cut off???

The FBI is jamming the signal.
They think Scylla is an anarchist bent on destruction!
This is ridicules.
She is a member of a group called "Anarchists for Architecture, Small Animals, New Babies and the Cops".








see - puppies
They are so busy with the new babies and the small animals they can't stir up any trouble like protesting ugly north American inspired buildings that are basically a simple rectangle and all glass and concrete - I would protest that but in Toronto I would not know where to start!!
Like this useless piece of sh-t.









Time for bed I think. I mean who the hell knows when to go to bed in perpetual darkness?
Or when to get up?Clearly I am becoming depressed.
I wish I had some coke or something
Hedwig out.
Out and bummed.


----------



## Guest (Jan 10, 2009)

Mark said:


> Spirit your right.
> 
> This is a *not* story - just in case anyone should think otherwise.


I know, I cant help it.

What is "A *not* story" Mark?


----------



## Guest (Jan 10, 2009)

Mark said:


> Have a look at this!!
> This is my brother doing all of the yalling.
> 
> 
> ...


He looks like he has dissociated and forgotton where he is, who he is and what the **** he is doing there.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Mark said:
> 
> 
> > Spirit your right.
> ...


Well that's a good question.
It is the dyslexic way of saying "This is a story - not - not.
Positive followed by a double negative.
Or "this is not, not, a story."
This more like language from legislation

For example - 
"except in articles 12.23.4 (a) and (b) and in sub-section WRM 45.9 (i).
You may not, not, put up the appropriate signage to protect the public from a WRM 45. 11.7 (j) (k) and (m)."

There is is then


----------



## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Mark said:
> 
> 
> > Have a look at this!!
> ...


This is a very cool guy.




He is a film maker and a poet and an all around progressive guy.
He is well known in Israel. he was invited to this "arts" function.
They felt they could not in good conscience celebrate the life a famous Israeli poet who was dedicated to peace (the function was in his honor) with war raging about 100km away.
He is a Jew.
He is not anti - Israel.
He is anti bullshit and hypocrisy.

There is someone on this forum who knows much more than I do about him.

The situation in Gaza has deep roots that are more complex than I imagined.
I have no "side".
I am on the side of people who are getting killed - Jew, Moslem, soldier and civilian. 
I don't like that.


----------



## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

WTW How did this go from a fairy tail romance - sort of - to politics.
No more politics - just romance.
A Poem.
I can not communicate directly with Scylla at the moment.
However Everdream has been getting a bad feeling - I trust her feelings
After all ,she knows when a storm is coming 1/2 an hour before it is even on the radar.
This is a warning poem to anyone who f-cks with Scylla.

*TREAD CAREFULLY MY FRIEND*
(Prepaired to Die)

Spare her - hurt me -spare her please.
I am strong again but on my knees
She can not take it! Another hit 
If it does it again - that's it.

Someone will die?
It will be me!
I have returned to die you'll see.
No more worry - not with me.
Somehow I will get to that f-cked country.
and take your bullet proudly

Burn me, boil me, let me bleed.
Plant me in the earth like a seed
From there I will grow and take my revenge
You can kill me now. 
You'll get it from me 
- so slowly - 
in a bitter vengeful and disgraceful end.

Got it!!!


----------



## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I just communicated with Scylla.
She has been ballooning over Gaza.
She belongs to a group who are into extreme sports and extreme demonstrations.

They are called "Jesus F-ck! What the F-ck are we doing"
They were ballooning in hopes of getting in the way of missiles headed for Israel.

It worked. These Palestinians are not insane - maybe just a bit. I mean the ones shooting the rockets.
They could not risk shooting down a balloon shaped like Mickey Mouse (they got it cheep on EBay) and dropping flowers and food and medicine and cards hand written by Israelis asking for forgiveness for the casualties but asking to please stop shooting rockets at them.

They ran out of propane and headed home and landed safely.
The rockets started as soon as they disappeared. 
Like she says "You have to try. Not trying is much much worse"
They failed at their ultimate goal but won a small victory for all people.

The balloon looked like this:








Only it was huge - like so huge they had this building attached to it with specialy engineered steel cables.









So this is interesting.
I am trying to write a post to impress Scylla so that she falls in love with me, we get married, have 23 children and she stays in perfect shape both mentally and physically. Somewhere in there she wins a lottery and gives half to her favorate charity called "You! - Problem! - We Fix!"
Oh ya. I have to get a better job. 
That's all. Why does politics come into it all the time??

It is that part of the world.
It is awash with different agendas and demands.
Geo and local politics is almost unavoidable.

The above peom stand as a strark warning to the CIA, FBI, Mussad, ex boyfriends or any militant lesbians who may want to hurt her - I am on patrole. When you least expect it - expect it. i am cunning, patient and sly. Suddenly a man dressed up like a clown will jump out of an icecream truck and abduct you.
Now that "Extradoray Rendition".
You will be kept with the others - oops did I say that - untill you promis not to hurt Scylla. It's just the hurt I am concerned about. Be nice to her and everything will be fine. If hurt comes from you again, then in a man dressed at a Jack - In - The - Box will suddenly jump out of a manhole and abduct you - again - and we start all over. OK?
Now, if you want to date her and eventually marry her go ahead I can't stop that.
If she falls in love then I will be happy for both of you.

I will just get down to work protecting Scylla and knocking on EverDreams door and see what I can get going with her.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I want to change my name to *Charybdis*.
In Greek mythology, Kharybdis or Charybdis (IPA: /k??r?bd?s/; in Greek, ????????) was a sea monster, once a beautiful naiad and the daughter of Poseidon and Gaia. She takes form as a huge bladder of a creature whose face was all mouth and whose arms and legs were flippers and swallows huge amounts of water three times a day before belching them back out again, creating whirlpools. Charybdis was very loyal to her father in his endless feud with Zeus, it was she who rode the hungry tides after Poseidon had stirred up a storm, and led them onto the beaches, gobbling up whole villages, submerging fields, drowning forests, claiming them for the sea. She won so much land for her father's kingdom that Zeus became enraged and changed her into a monster.

The myth has Charybdis lying on one side of a blue, narrow channel of water. On the other side of the strait was Scylla, another sea-monster. The two sides of the strait are within an arrow's range of each other, so close that sailors attempting to avoid Charybdis will pass too close to Scylla and vice versa. The phrase "between Scylla and Charybdis" has come to mean being in a state where one is between two dangers and moving away from one will cause you to be in danger of the other. "Between Scylla and Charybdis" is the origin of the phrase "between the rock and the whirlpool" (the rock upon which Scylla dwelt and the whirlpool of Charybdis) and may also be the genesis of the phrase "between a rock and a hard place".

Perfect.
I still dress as a woman in my room alone on the ship.

I get drunk and pretend to be Scylla having an argument with her Ex boyfriend - I don't know if she has one. It's just pretend.
Everyone else is reading "Foreign Affairs" magazine (I might read "Affairs" magazine if there was one) and I am drinking all of their cooking sherry and playing bizarre role games with myself.
I got to get our of here.
I am going bonkers.

Yours trully.
*Charybdis*


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Obviously I have f-ck all to do today.

I sketched Scylla - remember I have never seen her:








I don't like it. Too much dog
Not enough kitty cat if you know what I am saying.

This is me as I see myself in the mirror when drunk - I am most certainly losing it out here - take me to a war zone please.








Look out CIA!
You don't want to end up between Scylla and Charybdis

Avoid this island if you mean harm to Scylla:









Oops. See yaw later FBI!









And Ex'es!









I have no clue what is going on here but this photo in necessary in light of the next. Nudity equality sort of thing:









I have no idea what is going on in this picture either??
I like it for some reason. I wonder why?


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I am hoping that "between Scylla and Charybdis" gains an extra meaning.
I hope it eventually means a 3 some - now I don't like the idea frankly, especially with someone as special as Scylla.

It's just, well, gee, uhmm, boy, shucks, oooh, mmmmmm, well, you know what would have to happen for that to catch on.

You know. Your dog will sometimes practice doing it on your leg.

Or like when you were a kid and you accidentally saw you mom and dad wrestling together on Sunday morning on "sleep-in" day.

Or like when you were a kid and the babysitter would suddenly not be alone and her and a boy would be touching each other and whispering sweet things and making funny noises and the boy would get on top of your babysitter and start to go nuts and you had to look away at this point.

Bunny's do it. They do it a lot because they live horribly short lives dieing by disease, predato,r or if they are lucky, killed by god by old age - strange luck.
Is God actually nice?? Hummm.
Don't know.
I dare him to strike me down ....right....*now!*.........
................

................
Still here........
..................

Come on chicken s-hit......

...........
.....
..........
He just won't do it.
Even though I taunted him. 
I must logically conclude that he is a nice guy and is real.
If he had killed me he would have been even more real.
If he appeared and told me to f-ck off that would be a Win Win.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

*This is becoming one sided.
Scylla, I need to know what you are doing to get me out of here!

I suppose that it is not your responsibility - especialy for just a hug. 
You would have to provide the beer.

If you pick me up by dog sled we could make the trip to Tele Aviv together.

What say you my charming friend???

All of my posts are big today - I feel on top of the world!*


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

*Still on top!*


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I work so hard.
And get nothing.
Do I feel sorry for myself - yes. Or yes.???


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## Guest (Jan 21, 2009)

Thats life..


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## Rein (Apr 29, 2008)

lol @ mark 
You write a whole book whit pictures on here.
I once really wanna read it all.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Ok, well, here we go again.

All I do is work out in the ships gym.
It's very lonely.
They - these Scandinavian people - are already fit as a fiddle - whatever that means.
I have a fiddle that was soaked in a flood of the basement - it looks like shit.

I have not had sex, masturbated or even had an orgasum in months.
Am I getting old?
Lovemaking for these people is so "dry"
They don't smell each others arm pits or even smell eachothers undergarments. Nothing!!??

Now I look like a million bucks and have nobody to appreciate my new body.

If I have too breath in another persons fish breath I will go mad!!er!!

I love snow
But there is not any here.
It's too dry - too cold and dry.
Surrounded by snowish stuff - but no snow?
It's just dark dark dark.

Santa lives in hell.

His wife must be like mine.
She probably hates he nice crisp cold - and hates being with Santa??
Poor bastard.

I want to be with someone who likes the cold.
These Scandinavians don't even notice how beautiful and pure it is.

Once I was once driving with an invisible person - yes it is immature - but I have invisible friends.

It was cold, like -12 and snowing like hell. 
Nobody should have been driving.
I was so worried until my invisible friend said "this is just so beautiful"

I was like "OoookkkK"

She said "just change it to sand and you will see"

And I saw.

It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in years (except for my invisible friend who is filled with beauty - to the brim)

Just get me out of here.
I need that sort of thing again.

Just exchange it for sand!!

Bad breath? - better than sand.
Raining all week - just exchange it for sand.
Dust on your stuff - exchange it for sand.
Ball bearings going?- just exchange the grease for sand.
Sweat irritating the folds of your skin - imagine sand.
Stepped in dog poop.............Oops.
It works for most things.

God I am a super bad way.
I will take sand - or an ice hotel - fucken anything.
Just get me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








See
She's correct - it's no good


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2009)

Mark said:


> God I am a super bad way.
> I will take sand - or an ice hotel - flower* anything.


haloperidol ? :wink:


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Spirit said:


> Mark said:
> 
> 
> > God I am a super bad way.
> ...


Ummm yes .
And fhjnh dhbdhd just don't mess wth what I just said.
Or I will start on Rev again - easy pickens


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2009)

Mark said:


> Ummm yes .
> And fhjnh dhbdhd just don't mess wth what I just said.
> Or I will start on Rev again - easy pickens


 :lol: And that's MY problem...because? Revs a dude, why you wanna pick on him, because ...Figure!.....BIG WIGS!

Seriously Mark, I missed these news feeds, they make me feel sane.

Thanks buddy.

Lighten up, you're gonna snap.


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

?????


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

lets chat on facebook


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

I have moved out.
I just don't fit.

These people will not poke fun.
They will not hurt anybody's feelings.

I want them to pick on me - just for kicks.

I put my coat on inside out - "Mr. Mark - your coat appears to be on inside on the outside and the outside on the inside. Perhaps you meant to do that?" Sheeeesh!!

I stick toilet paper on my shoe and walk about the boat - nothing
I poured water on my lap for a week so that it looked like I had peed myself - nothing.
I have asked to be called Mr. Dickhead instead of Mr. Mark - nothing.
The last straw was I cut the ass out on my pants and undies - more nothing.

They just try harder to include me in stuff.

"Perhaps Mr Dickhead Mark we can turn the TV so that you may stand with you ass to the stove to keep it warm??"

So I moved out.
I made this










It was nice for a while.
Then I thought - that if Scylla's team showed up I _would_ look like Mr. Dickhead!!

So I built this










It?s an ICE CASTLE!!

I love the place!

Of course the Scandinavians say ?The other snow home for you was much more sensible Mr. Dickhead. If it should melt, it would be much easier to reconstruct than your new snow home.?

Melt!! Out here!!!
Hahahahahaha?..Uhoh?..I was dead wrong??.I was nearly??


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

Well sh-t happens.
It is so warm out here now.
My ice house is melting - they where correct - as usual.

Anyway, I was sunning myself next to my ice house.
Normally I would never go "tanning"

But out here it is against the grain - so I do it.
That's me.
Weak sun anyways. Only a fraction of the cancer causing waves that god has given us.
Global warming was good for a while - for me.

I was zoned out soaking up the weak sun.










Like these girls, only I was alone and I am a guy and not as good looking and there was snow and I don't have those big sunglasses and my head is smaller - girls these days have huge heads and huge eyes - just pretend the white towel is snow ...and...Just keep pretending. The grass is not here. It?s so huge in that picture - weird.

I was in sun heaven listening to the beautiful cracking sounds coming from the ice and then I was off....
Separated from the boat.

I went into the tanning zone with the boat like this










When I finally realized what the cracking sound was it was too late.

This is how things looked










Not good tanning sun and that is my ICE CASTLE in the background!!!
I could not see the boat-ahhhhhh!

They rescued me. Thank god - who ever he is.
They used this










Which would worked well for the 2 girls that I said I had with me - another joke.
Jokes get me in a lot of trouble.
So the "dolls" go rescued right away.
They are happy now, but, the whole affair caused their hair to turn white.










I was rescued like this










That?s me being hauled up by the ships crane - those are my slippers.
Not a high point on the trip.
The Scandinavians where disappointed but tried to make me feel better by saying "Thanks Mr. Dickhead Mark!!. We have fun with you southerners" - southerner!!
I am from Canada for god sake - whoever he is.

Anyway, the upshot of the whole story is that the ice is breaking up and we are on the move again.
Here I come ? warts and all!!


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Mark if you get 6 more posts you can never post again. You have to stop at 1337!!!


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## Mark (Jul 21, 2008)

1337 So thats the secret number.
Then what happens??
I am scared!


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