# No more DP



## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

I can honestly say that my DP is now definitely history, and when I look at it objectively to see what exarcebated the symptoms I have to say that anxiety is a major trigger for me. It's really weird; I feel like my old self again and my emotions are no longer blunted, but my friends and family members don't notice anything different about me......to them I've never had it. Depersonalization to me was like living on the other side of the mirror, or having your mental mathematical equation expressed differently; if your mind normally operates as 10+5=15, DP switches your world around to 10=15-5.....it's like your senses are foreign but yet familiar. It was a strange trip guys and gals....strange indeed.


----------



## rainboteers (Apr 5, 2005)

THAT IS SO GREAT!!! 

Thanks for sharing, gives me some hope. :wink:


----------



## jake (Jul 12, 2005)

Amen! Thanks Dreamland!


----------



## Milan (May 29, 2005)

Great thing to hear another of us has left DP land - gives us all hope.

When you reflect back on the DP state does it feel foreign to you, like you can't believe you were in that state?


----------



## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

milan.....not really. It feels like DP has always been there and it hasn't. When I look back at some the totally alien episodes that I was dealing with, everything seems normal and lucid and I can now feel those experiences in a non DP mode. Almost like my normal self was in stealth mode but still observing everything for my trip back to earth.....LOL!!!


----------



## jake (Jul 12, 2005)

Thats a great description, your real self stealth, observing for the trip back to Earth. In reverse it gives me hope cuz I'm not really on track right now yet my "real self" must be intact somewhere, observing. I have had some long periods with nothing real dramatic like a panic attack and associated DP.. then a few months ago, whatever defenses I was using to carry me thru stress..well how to explain it? Like an adrenaline switch was flipped and somebody super glued it in the "On" position. 
-jake


----------



## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

This is what I want everybody to know: Your real self is still there, but it's in some sort of backup mode, registering everything that's going on. When you're DP fades away it will peel away this layer, or filter, exposing your true emotions and self again. The reason you all can't feel it right now is because your depersonalization has to run its course; like a drug wearing off. But you're not ready......you need that DP protecting you from your thoughts, but when you're ready you will know and the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place.

It's like that scary movie that you saw as a kid haunting you for days or weeks; DP will stop haunting you as well! You'll be singing: Darling don't you ever stop and wonder...about the clouds about the hail and thunder...about the baby and its umbilical...who's pushing the pedals on the season cycle? Your obsessions will shift away from yourself to the wonders of this world we live in.


----------



## M A R S (Jun 24, 2005)

Your an inspiration to me, Ill be praying for this to come to my mind!


----------



## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

A violent thunderstorm came through the other day. I had that feeling of a awe for all the lightning, wind, loud thunder.....you know, that excitement you had as a kid? That thought process of"how am I supposed to feel" and that voice in your head that just won't shut up, well, they both gone and I'm at peace. Hang tight everybody; you all will return to a state of peace as well...in time.


----------



## DM (Aug 12, 2004)

> if your mind normally operates as 10+5=15, DP switches your world around to 10=15-5


 :lol:

yes, perfectly said. and how did you figure it out?

congratulations!


----------



## Guest (Aug 1, 2005)

Fantastic  Will you still visit the board?


----------



## kchendrix (Feb 28, 2005)

Way to go Dream,! I wish you the best ..... you are a real inspiration to us all

KC


----------



## Guest (Aug 2, 2005)

i am so happy for you! it is an exciting time when this is finally over. just make sure you keep yourself calm and don't put yourself in bad situations if you can help it. i was better for 3 months, got off my meds and everything, but i let things worry me to much and now i have had a relapse. the great thing is that i know it will go away again. it's my fault it came back, i didn't take care of myself... make sure you take care of yourself... and for the next year or so, keep yourself busy and try to avoid a lot of anxiety.. good luck! and thanks for giving others hope, that's what we all need.


----------



## Dreamland (Jun 1, 2005)

Jeepchick...thanks! but I always put myself in stressful situation with equal relaxation time. Ever since my DP surfaced again in early 2003--after a 20 year dry spell--I decided to not let it affect me in the sense of limiting my activities, and I lived a normal life for the most part. I basically ignored DP. But what I find fascinating is that the true emotions are back. I can listen to music from 10,20 years back and I can feel the way I used to. When I think back at this very moment of when my DP was at its worst in 2003 I can feel joy that was present, but pushed in hybernation mode by DP. And the feelings make sense!!! What I'm trying to say is don't freak out when you feel down in the dump, because your "feelgood" mechanism is still working perfectly.......it's just eclipsed by DP, not destroyed!


----------



## laserdog (May 1, 2005)

i fully agree.... i had bad dp for years! then i managed to get myself to 100% and i could look back at my dp'd times and feel good emotion.! so your feelings are still there....just there masked by this dp...

thats why its important to keep living, coz you will snap back ...

i'm back dp'd again  but i'm working on it..lol

peace


----------



## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

Wow! Dreamland, I am excited for you! Did you have any visual disturbanced with DP (floaters, visual snow, shit moving around or shimmering and flashes of colour, shadowing etc.) I just wanna know - there are a lot of people on here with visual disturbances but I've heard that this all goes away with the DP.

Well done! I'm really pleased for you.

Laserdog, hang in there dude your gonna beat this again - for good!


----------



## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Dreamland-

When did you stop needing protection from your thoughts, and how did you do it?

Thanks!


----------



## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

it makes sense to me now...like, you can do some things to help it (therapy, meds)...and especially talk therapy which has proven to ULTIMATELY change it for good, but even in that process the feeling has to run its course so it's either THERE or GONE and when it's GONE you probably don't worry about it coming back as that's part of the DP. Cheerio! Good Work!


----------



## present (Dec 6, 2007)

I realize that no one has posted on this thread in a while, but I just saw it and was releived to hear it. You know exactly what it is like to have this. I know that I am here. I know that it needs to take its course. I know that I still have the capability to feel all of my emotion. So thanks. I am curious how you are doing now Dreamland if you are still around this board. Thanks.


----------



## Jayson (Oct 27, 2007)

"if your mind normally operates as 10+5=15, DP switches your world around to 10=15-5"

That's the best way I've ever heard is described. Exactly right.


----------

