# Suicidal Thoughts today...



## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

Its been a year officially now that ive had this obsession wondering if anything is real or I created it in my mind. I don't know what to do anymore, I cant stand being this way forever. I feel like my family is gone, that im all alone. Ive been doing erp and the anxiety is better but the doubt and depression are so bad still. I want my family back, I don't want to think these thoughts anymore.


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## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

If Solipsism is true, Solipsism is bullshit.
It's your OCD. Nothing more, nothing less.
Mental concepts/language/analyzing are ways for humans to test themselves, hence these crazy ideas, which completely negates the possibility of it being true. And as much as it would suck, I am the only *true* Solipsist here.
It isn't Solipsism that bothers you, it's your emotions. Find out why


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

I know compared to some of you a year isn't that long, its just the longest ive ever thought/feared something constantly. I worry that maybe I just have ocd and not dp sometimes, that an ocd thought never really goes away, basically anything that my brain can throw at me. Im upset that the thought hasn't left with the fear, for I used to walk around panicked all the time and now the anxiety feels relatively mild. Though I guess the thoughts are an anxious mind still.


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## daydreambeliever (Jun 15, 2011)

Keep working at it. It will get better or you will get better.

Also keep in mind that Dpd can be lived with and a even a fairly decent life can be led. I'm not able to manage like other people but I look at my life as an adventure and I also feel a strong connection with the cosmos. I see and feel a bigger picture. What is wrong with that? After I got used to the idea it is actually an honor sometimes. I love what life is, it's amazing. And "I" alone see what "I" see. It's rather thrilling. I get to have bliss as well as depression.


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

Ive given up trying to argue and rationalize them, but they still wont leave. Does it just take time not responding to them for them to go? Im assuming once I stop thinking about it ill go back to 'normal' life wise. I know it wont just be gone forever, but im hoping to get to a point where its just popping in from time to time.


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## NEEDMOREBLAZE (Apr 8, 2013)

Hosscat said:


> Ive given up trying to argue and rationalize them, but they still wont leave. Does it just take time not responding to them for them to go? Im assuming once I stop thinking about it ill go back to 'normal' life wise. I know it wont just be gone forever, but im hoping to get to a point where its just popping in from time to time.


You're stuck in a fear based habitual thought routine that is amplified by OCD, the best way to combat this is focus your attention towards goals, hobbies, and tangible things you desire. Your mind requires discipline and that starts with you overcoming the fear that is linked to these crazy thoughts about existence. For instance, when someone is scared of the ocean they will do everything in their power to avoid it...same goes for your fears about existence and Solipsism, you will do everything in your power to avoid living because of the phantom fear that is linked to your thoughts about life.

Your fear center is burned out from being overworked and you cannot control the fear unless you reduce it. It all starts with YOU, YOU are NOT the only one in this world and it is in your nature to LIVE, not to commit suicide.

TURN OFF THE FEAR


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

So basically once the fear aspect is dealt with these thoughts should just fade away? Despite whether the doubt is there or not?


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## Hosscat (Oct 23, 2012)

How do you just give up on the thoughts? They still come even though I know I cant answer them, I just want to not think about it anymore. Im doing stuff with people even though it makes me sad to do so, and when the thoughts come im not argueing or trying to answer them, but they are just there. Will they ever not be there anymore?


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