# how weed messed up my world .need your help guys



## rodris (Jun 18, 2012)

hi.im 23 years old.my inglish is bad sorry for that.since i was 14 life has punished me with several problems,those who make you more mature,strongher but i wouldnt recommend you to go through them.ill tell you the more important issues i had to face:

when i was 14 i got injured by a harddrug user who injected me the drug in my arm.i got completely shocked as you can understand,didnt tell anyone neither my parents.i was sure i had aids.constantly worrying about that,1 year later i decided to do a test to check it out,too late because i was a soo afraid.the test was negative so uff!ty god!(this caused me post traumatic stress)
1 year later i was diagnostiqued an hepatitis,so i had to take care of my(not drinking,not smoking,alimentation,exersice)i recovered of it in half a year

i began to dovelop a depresion ,couldnt concentrate on studys,bad behavious..so i went to a doctor who told me to take pills(srii.work in serotonine levels)after 3 weeks using it i began to suffer side effects.what impact me was sexual sid effects.i couldnt have an erection,not orgasm.i became impotent so i decided to take it out coldturkey by my own.i was afraid of that.the real problem is that once i quit from it.my sexual problems stayed!!i was like 18 aand used to be succesfull with girls so..you can imagine the pain i went through.i was impotent for 10 months(really impotent!not psicological,trust me)so i went to an andrologist who prescribed me viagra..it worked but not enought..i barely could have sex!!better but not enought..this only made my drepesion much worse.besides i found out this was an unkown illness named PSSD(post ssri sexual disfuction)which seems to be permant for some(PERMANET!!!!?????!!!!).ive had to fight and after two years i coul have sex again!!not as before but it is fine(it is the a gift!!)

two years later,while i was smoking weed with my friends(esporadical)i was having a relly bad trip,nervous,anxiety..and suddently....puuum.my mind made a click!!!!my perception of reallity was different,a fucking hell,ive never been so damn afraid.i got a panick attack,next day that feeling was still with me,till today!!!!!so its seems to be a relation beetewn tramatic problems and dp.
4 moths after that day i started to feel better,understanding my problem.not being afraid of it.and just starting to live my life again,being my oldself again but then in a hangover day i got a pseudopanick attack..and thngs got worse,like even more depersobnalized!!but again i recoved(not 100x100)but got in a controlable place..feeling alive,happy,and little by little forgeting that special word called DEPERSONALIZATION.THE PROBLEM IS taht im startng to feel worse again,constantly worrying about dp,dizzymind..IVE LOST THE POWER TO FIGHT WITH IT ALTHOUGH I KNOW I WILL RECOVER AS IVE DONE BEFORE...SOUNDS WEIRD BUT THIS IS IT.NEED TO CHAGE MY LIFESTILE,THINKING ATTERNS,ETCETCETC BUT I DONT KNOW HOWWW!!!PLEASE ADVISE ME,NEED YOUR HELP.thank you for reading my story.waiting for your replies.huge hugs!!

pd: a year ago i was diagnostiqued celiaquia..(cant eat gluten!)lol


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