# Paranoia



## Olivia

Ive been having an increasing amount of paranoia, i don'nt feel so bad now that i've recocnized its cycle. Anyways, I'm pretty sure this is far from dp, as most of you consider psychosis to be a forbidden language. I dont have hallucinations, but i do experience thought insertion and those types of symptoms..when anything is scary i find myself in a thought withdrawal. at first i thought i was just experiencing an offset of dp that made me mentally retarded and chronically empty(which i'm still dealing with) i know that back when i was half sane i experienced paranoia where i couldnt get something out of my head but never had i had delusions that people were thinking awful things of me, and furthermore, reading my thoughts. my existential thought of the moment is wondering if this, these thoughts and everything about this moment is how life is supposed to feel or be lived. thats all i wanted to say.


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## insaticiable

Olives said:


> Ive been having an increasing amount of paranoia, i don'nt feel so bad now that i've recocnized its cycle. Anyways, I'm pretty sure this is far from dp, as most of you consider psychosis to be a forbidden language. I dont have hallucinations, but i do experience thought insertion and those types of symptoms..when anything is scary i find myself in a thought withdrawal. at first i thought i was just experiencing an offset of dp that made me mentally retarded and chronically empty(which i'm still dealing with) i know that back when i was half sane i experienced paranoia where i couldnt get something out of my head but never had i had delusions that people were thinking awful things of me, and furthermore, reading my thoughts. my existential thought of the moment is wondering if this, these thoughts and everything about this moment is how life is supposed to feel or be lived. thats all i wanted to say.


I know this is kind of off topic, but it does relate to paranoia so ill post it in here. At night, like around 2am-3am I start to get really paranoid that a) a big earthquake will occur or b. someone random (like a burgular) will either start knocking/pounding/or breaking thru one of our windows. I used to believe this was like some sort of schizophrenia, but after asking around, I've discovered that it can be a form of OCD, which is something that I suffer from. It's to the point where I can almost feel the earthquake occurring or someone tapping on our door, which frightens me beyond belief. Just thought I'd share that.


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## Olivia

insaticiable said:


> I know this is kind of off topic, but it does relate to paranoia so ill post it in here. At night, like around 2am-3am I start to get really paranoid that a) a big earthquake will occur or b. someone random (like a burgular) will either start knocking/pounding/or breaking thru one of our windows. I used to believe this was like some sort of schizophrenia, but after asking around, I've discovered that it can be a form of OCD, which is something that I suffer from. It's to the point where I can almost feel the earthquake occurring or someone tapping on our door, which frightens me beyond belief. Just thought I'd share that.


 yeah thats kind of the way i feel all the time, i guess i worry so much about my own thoughts that they seem unfamiliar and then i cant distinguish between the world and myself. i think i may have OCD because im always preocuppied with my mental health. is everyones psychosis different? this type anyway, its really hard because im either always passive and on a flight or im just really aggitated.


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## 2deepathinker

Olives said:


> Ive been having an increasing amount of paranoia, i don'nt feel so bad now that i've recocnized its cycle. Anyways, I'm pretty sure this is far from dp, as most of you consider psychosis to be a forbidden language. I dont have hallucinations, but i do experience thought insertion and those types of symptoms..when anything is scary i find myself in a thought withdrawal. at first i thought i was just experiencing an offset of dp that made me mentally retarded and chronically empty(which i'm still dealing with) i know that back when i was half sane i experienced paranoia where i couldnt get something out of my head but never had i had delusions that people were thinking awful things of me, and furthermore, reading my thoughts. my existential thought of the moment is wondering if this, these thoughts and everything about this moment is how life is supposed to feel or be lived. thats all i wanted to say.


I have this as well. I experience what I think to be thought insertion, and it scares the hell out of me. I get thoughts which I worry are delusional. My boyfriend points out to me that I have thoughts that start out with: "What if..", and it isn't like I really believe the thoughts to be real. Sometimes I worry so much, that the thought does start to feel real and I am not sure anymore if it is my worry or the thought. Ugh, it sucks. I want to believe it has to do with very constant DP/DR, but I am not sure. I am glad someone else here has this symptom!

May I ask if you have another diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder, with some agoraphobia and depression. I get really, really scared about developing psychosis. I worry that people will know my thoughts beforehand, and I also about a host of other things, but I think it all stems from worry, because when I am out doing something I find enjoyable, I feel fine.

I just wish I could put the worry and paranoia to rest, and know what it is from (like is it DP related, or what).

Insaticiable-I also totally get you as well. I worry about earthquakes, but maybe can it also stem from living in California. I used to obsess about this a lot more than others. I started to picture the San Andreas Fault just going off, and I felt completely powerless and I hated that. As far as burgulars, I worried about this all the time when I was little. I worried that someone would murder me or my parents. I never told anyone when I was a little kid how much I worried about it, but I worried all the time about it, and when I heard sounds...I thought it was someone coming to murder me. Now I know I have always been anxious, but I never knew why I felt that way...and it is a relief to know I was just experiencing anxiety as kid, although it hasn't relieved it.


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## Thunderlordcid

Olives said:


> Ive been having an increasing amount of paranoia, i don'nt feel so bad now that i've recocnized its cycle. Anyways, I'm pretty sure this is far from dp, as most of you consider psychosis to be a forbidden language. I dont have hallucinations, but i do experience thought insertion and those types of symptoms..when anything is scary i find myself in a thought withdrawal. at first i thought i was just experiencing an offset of dp that made me mentally retarded and chronically empty(which i'm still dealing with) i know that back when i was half sane i experienced paranoia where i couldnt get something out of my head but never had i had delusions that people were thinking awful things of me, and furthermore, reading my thoughts. my existential thought of the moment is wondering if this, these thoughts and everything about this moment is how life is supposed to feel or be lived. thats all i wanted to say.


You should feel better. You want to know why? Because you just proved that you don't have any of those things. People who suffer from paranoia/psychosis/mental retardation don't think that they have those things. I mean, just reading your post one can say that you put a lot of thought into this. When someone does have any of those disorders the last thing that's crossing their mind is something's wrong with me. That's why majority of people with schizophrenia, a type of psychosis, refuse to believe that something's wrong with them. Mentally retarded people can't put that much thought into the idea that they're retarded. If anything you're so smart you're tricking yourself into believing something that's not real, and that's what anxiety is. It'll get better my friend, just relax and let those thoughts go.


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## feministcat

I understand completely. I really believe it is the ANXIETY that is causing all of these things. It resembles OCD because we get locked on these obsessive thoughts about things happening that most likely will not happen. I have an issue with closing my eyes in the shower sometimes because I'm afraid someone will come in and kill me. I think it's from watching too many stupid scary movies! How else would I have gotten that imagery in my head? We are all ultra SENSITIVE and seem to suffer from general anxiety disorder which makes us worry constantly. The only thing I've found that helps me with any of this is Ativan and putting my thoughts into anything I can that is enjoyable.. even if only for a few minutes at a time.. and when the bad moments come on.. breathe through it and tell myself it will pass.. and none of the terrifying thoughts will happen because it is just ANXIETY.


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## Olivia

mourningdovespirit said:


> I have this as well. I experience what I think to be thought insertion, and it scares the hell out of me. I get thoughts which I worry are delusional. My boyfriend points out to me that I have thoughts that start out with: "What if..", and it isn't like I really believe the thoughts to be real. Sometimes I worry so much, that the thought does start to feel real and I am not sure anymore if it is my worry or the thought. Ugh, it sucks. I want to believe it has to do with very constant DP/DR, but I am not sure. I am glad someone else here has this symptom!
> 
> May I ask if you have another diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder, with some agoraphobia and depression. I get really, really scared about developing psychosis. I worry that people will know my thoughts beforehand, and I also about a host of other things, but I think it all stems from worry, because when I am out doing something I find enjoyable, I feel fine.
> 
> I just wish I could put the worry and paranoia to rest, and know what it is from (like is it DP related, or what).
> 
> Insaticiable-I also totally get you as well. I worry about earthquakes, but maybe can it also stem from living in California. I used to obsess about this a lot more than others. I started to picture the San Andreas Fault just going off, and I felt completely powerless and I hated that. As far as burgulars, I worried about this all the time when I was little. I worried that someone would murder me or my parents. I never told anyone when I was a little kid how much I worried about it, but I worried all the time about it, and when I heard sounds...I thought it was someone coming to murder me. Now I know I have always been anxious, but I never knew why I felt that way...and it is a relief to know I was just experiencing anxiety as kid, although it hasn't relieved it.


I think its a cycle of always trying to suppress anxious thoughts(thought blocking, blocking dopamine/happiness/excitedness) and since im very friendly with those, it leaves me in a cycle of being dragged down, and blunted with confused behavior. I actually went to see a counselor today and we talked about personality qualities related to life instead of what I think to be my real problems. as a person with dp, appearing to be totally normal, although a bit withdrawn, i felt like i didn't communicate anything that would make going back worth while with the exception that she understood that I had a problem with worrying and being perfect. I also made a comment on my old counselor and how she said I was not suffering from GAD and infact i was a hypochondriac with depersonalization, which is a contradiction because dp comes from anxiety. oh, my counselor also said that im not suffering from dp and made remark that i would need to be floating above my own body to display symptoms...lol. i also seemed to call my mother stupid this morning, which i didn't see the reality of the emotions at the moment, now my moms practically afraid that she's done something horrible with my upbringing, she described me on the telephone as defiant, unappreciative and always dwelling on the negatives. now in which i realize is all true. we broke this tension bubble between me, my blunted attitude and her emotions, i realize how much ive been hurting her feelings. breaking this "bubble" seems more like letting everyone show there emotions, "let us be depressed" its also really hard seeing my mother like this, as ive known her to be a dictator and kind of narcissistic. all while i thought i was going crazy, i wanted help and attention, then i didn't want to be crazy and ended up totally so. Sorry, I had to blurt this out.


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## Guest

It is difficult to determine the cause of paranoia. Paranoid people can suffer from emotional depression and mental thought processes of some. An incident in the past may have unconsciously built into serious underlying mental disorders. Repressed feelings may also be a cause of paranoia, with circumstances or feelings projected onto others.


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## Cambella2002

Yep Intrustive and obsessive thoughts. Suffer from them all the time.


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## Cambella2002

Olives, just know that you are not alone and completely normal. I think most of us here with DP/DR suffer from severe anxiety in some way. For the longest I was scared of getting schizophrenia or bipolar (family members suffer from severe mental disorders) so my thought was that I was bound to get these progressive mental illnesses. A technique that works for me and my intrusive thoughts is to challenge my 'what ifs' and 'what do people think'. If I get a unwanted thought I just avoid it (picture a stop sign or the word NO!) or challenge that thought (but be creative, I often laugh at my unwanted thoughts). These techiniques really work for me. Eases my anxiety quickly. Just remember our brains act like computers and often recollect information. Thoughts are just thoughts.

Example of the techniques that I use for intrusive thoughts: 
I challenged my 'what if I go crazy' by telling myself that I will be completely fine. That I couldn't hurt a fly even if I went insane. And that I have a great support system that would help me through it. There are many resources out there for those who are suffering from mental disorders. And the greatest thing would be that my children would be cared for if I was unable to care for them.

I just come up with statements that challenge my unwanted thoughts.


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## lakesoal

Paranoia is not as big disease but distrust of the people making treatment difficult. Despite the difficulties in treatment, the patient may have delusions are quite good. Appropriate antipsychotic treatment can help patients overcome some paranoid symptoms.


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