# Coping with DP/DR and having kids



## gunstor (Mar 19, 2013)

Having had DP/DR for most of my life I've always thought having a kid would only make living with this condition worse for myself and I have always been fearful of giving off mixed feelings or confused emotions in front of my own child and potentially screwing up his or her life. This is the reason I've never considered having kids - that is - until now. Having been married for the last 4 years to the 'woman of my dreams', I feel my attitude has changed towards having a family and I feel stronger in the face of DP. Rather than it being the all consuming scary thing of hurt and frustration it once was, it seems to have mellowed a bit with age and knowing more about it and how to cope has changed my outlook on life somewhat. My wife is also the only person outside any Doctors that knows about my condition. After a number of months of discussion she too would like also to try for a kid. I'd like to hear from anyone who has had children or considering it and what their experiences have been. How has this affected your DP or your relationship with your child or partner? Thanks kindly in anticipation.


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## Blueyellowred23 (Apr 1, 2016)

I'll be honest, it can be a little hard to have DP and have a child. I have a 5 year old who has autism, and we have to do home visits and meetings and it does get overwheling at times because it feels like I'm getting all this information thrown at me and I can't process it. At the same time, I still feel love for him. When he's at school, I think about what he's doing and how his day is going. The other day we got home and I was helping him out of the car and he said "thanks mom" and I just started crying. (Just thinking about that made me cry again.)

Through all of this, I haven't lost any love or emotion for him. He's what keeps me going every single day. He's also a great distraction when I'm having a hard day. I'd much rather talk about angry birds and super heros then dp


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## gunstor (Mar 19, 2013)

Bit disappointed I didn't get much response to this topic. Do DPers not have kids?? And if not, what does that say about us? Maybe we are too self obsessed to think about another life? Not trying to point any fingers. Just curious.


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## 99880 (Mar 17, 2016)

Not sure that this community is entirely representative of older people with DP, who have chosen to raise a family. I don't belive that people experiencing DP are necessarily self obsessed, raising families and work commitments leave very little time to contribute to forums.

It will most likely depend on the cause of your DP and how much disruption it has caused you, as to how much it will affect raising children. If DP was caused by trauma then there will be issues when stressful events occur (there will be plenty of stressful events), however sometimes DP is useful in a crisis.

It's worth bearing in mind that most families have difficulties, it's just not discussed very often. Once you become a parent, it becomes more obvious that even seemly perfect families experience some degree of dysfunction.

Personally, the sleepless nights were very difficult and when the kids get hurt with falls and scrapes I experience a mild form of cataplexy.


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