# Does anyone else have extremely intense "episodes"



## Ben23 (Nov 27, 2006)

Hi  I'm 23 years old, from WA state. My mom is DrMom who posted recently on this forum as well.

I'm amazed that so many people may relate to how I feel. I started experiencing brief 5 or 10 second "episodes" of depersonalization about 2 or 3 years ago. When it would happen, I felt like I was going crazy, that I didnt exist, as dumb as that sounds. I eventually experienced these episodes 5-10 times a day for between 5-15 minutes at a time. They are so intense, I cant describe it, although I have some comfort knowing that maybe I dont have to describe it, that you might know what I'm talking about. Since that time, everything has eventually seemed numb, I used to be empathetic and kind, but now it just feels like I'm going through the motions. Its constant, this feeling of being disconnected.

In my goings about on forums and discussion boards on the internet, I havent really found a lot of people commenting on individual, super-intense, brief times of Depersonalization. I have them usually about once a week, and when I do I cant even function, the world isnt there. It scares me to death. All I can do when it happens is put my hands over my eyes and say "oh my gosh" over and over, its too intense for words. If you have any similar experiences I'd be reeeeaally grateful to hear about them, and anything you do to prevent/control them. Its the most distressing feeling I've ever had.

I'm so glad to know that someone knows what this is like, although I wish that wasnt the case for your sakes. Anyway, nice to meet you all and good luck in your road to recovery.


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

Hi,
I think I've had that happen to me too, not once a week but regularly, maybe once a month or less. 
For some reason i get it most often when i'm looking at rows of shelves in libraries.

It passes pretty quickly so i just stand still until it does.


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## Ben23 (Nov 27, 2006)

Thats interesting about the library. I've found that I sometimes slip into it when I'm confronted with very emotional experiences, deep thought about almost anything, sometimes when looking at wallpaper that has repetative patterns, etc. Scares me to death. It doesnt happen when I listen to emotional music though, and I'm not really sure why, it would seem to me that it would occur more often during those times. Do you think its a defense mechanism of some kind?


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## PPPP (Nov 26, 2006)

:?


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