# Frightening episode last night, trying to calm myself down



## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

Last night I was having a hard time. My thoughts were going a mile a minute, and I am wondering if anyone can relate? I started to go into the mode of thinking why do we exist, etc. I started to obsess about why there are two sexes, and why are we humans, and why do we have two hands, five fingers, etc. I had trouble stopping these thoughts and they felt so heavy! I am wondering if anyone else has had symptoms like this? I also felt having a nose and breathing felt so foreign. Part of the problem is that it starts out that everything in my life feels so foreign, and then I go into having such heavy thoughts.

I have been under some stress, and having trouble standing up for myself in regards to some expectations a family member is putting on me. I can't deal anymore when I have these thoughts. I feel like I should be locked up. I sometimes wonder if ending my life would be better. I wouldn't do it, but then I obsess that the afterlife (if there is one) is worse.

Although, these types of thoughts linger in my mind, the episode I had last night was very frightening. I am worried that I will be in a situation again where I will have some frightening thoughts, and I won't be able to stop and I will go insane around some people who will criticize me.

When I go into this way of thinking, it is like the part of my brain and being that says I am safe and okay is completely shut down. I also sometimes worry that I will forget who I am completely. Please share any of your thougths with me. Is this depersonalization?


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## zombieundead (Mar 17, 2010)

2deepathinker said:


> Last night I was having a hard time. My thoughts were going a mile a minute, and I am wondering if anyone can relate? I started to go into the mode of thinking why do we exist, etc. I started to obsess about why there are two sexes, and why are we humans, and why do we have two hands, five fingers, etc. I had trouble stopping these thoughts and they felt so heavy! I am wondering if anyone else has had symptoms like this? I also felt having a nose and breathing felt so foreign. Part of the problem is that it starts out that everything in my life feels so foreign, and then I go into having such heavy thoughts.
> 
> I have been under some stress, and having trouble standing up for myself in regards to some expectations a family member is putting on me. I can't deal anymore when I have these thoughts. I feel like I should be locked up. I sometimes wonder if ending my life would be better. I wouldn't do it, but then I obsess that the afterlife (if there is one) is worse.
> 
> ...


i have very similar episodes. always unexpected and very disturbing. it always feels like im never going to go back to the way i wa before the episodes starts


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## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

This is what I call "hardcore" DP. I've had those same thoughts for months, very intense and disturbing. I once did not leave the house for 6 months cause it was so bad. I'm a little better now. It's very scary to question the only existence we know. I hope you feel better soon.


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## justlikeheaven (Mar 23, 2010)

codeblue213 said:


> This is what I call "hardcore" DP. I've had those same thoughts for months, very intense and disturbing. I once did not leave the house for 6 months cause it was so bad. I'm a little better now. It's very scary to question the only existence we know. I hope you feel better soon.


I can so realte to all of what your saying. I have been so afraid of seeing things that isent there, because I was afraid of being skitzo. And then i started analysing the things I saw all the time. That is this, and why. And it is very frighting. And for the past weeks it has become worse. I have it 24/7. 
But how did you feel better? What can i do? any adwice? maybe we all have to much time to think? but everytime I go on to do something, instead of sitting at home, I ask myself more questions of that is this, why do people act like they do, and so on. I feel like I have lost myself. Im so afraid


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

I can relate to this sooooo much right now.. Really, it's like all that we've known until now just stopped making sense, and it scares the crap out of me constantly.


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## schizoidman (Mar 8, 2010)

For months now ive been getting the constant existentialist episodes you describe and also feel myself going insane, I think it's a result of a lack of fufilment and so the mind wanders as an attempt to question the external reality.

Maybe try and embrace it? Become an elitist and tell yourself you are above all the 'non-thinkers' or take up Zen meditation so at least you will be at peace within your mind and gain a sense of enlightenment.

It's a difficult task to embrace it though, I mean im 17, lots of friends and doing year 12 and yet it feels inevtiable that I will end up in an insane asylum if I dont leave society and live in some self-sustaining commune or a remote cottage somewhere...scary thoughts.


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## UnknownError (Jan 16, 2010)

I have similar episodes also man, have had some F* up ones in the last 3/4 days and last night was nightmares, heavy breathing, all sorts. I'm gonna hit the park ina minute and chill out, that always helps I dont have to recommend the beauty of nature it will help you, its away from noise cars and people which ultimately feed the anxiety in my opinion.


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

schizoidman said:


> For months now ive been getting the constant existentialist episodes you describe and also feel myself going insane, I think it's a result of a lack of fufilment and so the mind wanders as an attempt to question the external reality.
> 
> Maybe try and embrace it? Become an elitist and tell yourself you are above all the 'non-thinkers' or take up Zen meditation so at least you will be at peace within your mind and gain a sense of enlightenment.
> 
> It's a difficult task to embrace it though, I mean im 17, lots of friends and doing year 12 and yet it feels inevtiable that I will end up in an insane asylum if I dont leave society and live in some self-sustaining commune or a remote cottage somewhere...scary thoughts.


This is exactly how I feel. I agree with the mental fulfillment. I am in my thirties, and I haven't found my purpose for why I am here, and I can't help. I have so many interests, and when I have started one thing, I start to feel like I want to incorporate my other talents and interests. I thought I wanted to be an Elementary School Teacher because it can encompass all of my interests. When I went to school for it, I felt like it wasn't my thing exactly.


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## aftershave (Jun 9, 2011)

Happends to me all the time.


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## JenS (Jul 10, 2011)

This is exactly where I am too, so can totally relate. I have it during the day too and feel that I can't control bad thoughts that keeping popping into my head. Not a great feeling, but I had it 14 years ago and it will pass.. Jen


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

I think the existentialist episodes can be controlled to a degree. These are caused by anxiety that comes along with the feelings of DP. I obsess way less than I use to, so I'm less plagued by my thoughts. Although I don't think the feelings of DP can be controlled... so I'm still miserable.


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## Brazil1610 (Jun 15, 2011)




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## Guest (Jul 15, 2011)

realize what you do have control over, and what you don't. what you have control over, release, and what you don't, let be. you'll be okay.


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