# Getting worse



## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

I feel I'm getting worse in the last months. Maybe it's because I went from 150mg Effexor XR to 75mg. I did it because it was part of my try to combine Wellbutrin with it (the idea of my doc). The Wellbutrin gave me severe side effects so I stopped taking it, and since then I'm on 75mg of Effexor. I felt that the 150mg doesn't help as the way it did before anyway, but now I think it might helped a bit.

It's finally raining in here. There's a huge storm outside. I was waiting for it. It's fun when you are at home, but it's also very depressing getting out at a storm like this. It's hard. And I hate Sundays! I didn't leave the house on sundays for 5 weeks now.

My self injury get bad too. It was very bad 5 years ago when I started with it, but then with time and meds it got a lot better. Now I feel this strong urge all the time that tells me to cut myself. I was making a salad today, and while holding the knife all I could think of is cutting myself. I already made not long ago my first scars on my hands, and now I really feel like trying cutting my wrist (never tried that before). That's all I can think of. And I feel like it's only a matter of time until I can't resist to my urges. I really don't want to do it because of the cuts it will leave. It's really hard to explain it, and it's a lot harder to hide it.

I really need some support now, please.









P.s- Sorry if it's a trigger to anyone. Just thought about it now.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Hey everdream







Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I empathize with you.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Hi friend! I am here if you need to talk to someone. Feel free to send me a message on facebook. Hugs









P.S: Can you go back on 150 mg of Effexor or even higher if you require it?


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## Guest (Dec 13, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear this. I wish you weren't so far away.
One day at a time.
Try to surround yourself with love.

And I would bet a million dollars that the meds change has made you feel worse. Tends to happen. Just knowing that, tell yourself this can be sorted out when the meds are either out of your system, you try something new. I had a lot of trouble with Wellbutrin -- it is something of a stimulant.

I have also heard some negative things about Effexor and have never tried it.

One variable at a time.
Are you on FB?


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Thank you all for the support.

I'm having mood changes all the time. Yesterday I had a lot of energy and felt better. Today I feel less good than yesterday but better then 2 days ago,lol. I noticed that sometimes I even feel good for like 10 minutes and then I can become extremely depressed. I always thought that I'm feeling down all the time, and the rest of the time when I look better, I just pretend I feel better. I believe that's true also but I think I'm having mood swings as well.

I want to go back to 150mg. I'll talk with my doc. I felt better with it. I also took 225mg in the past but I don't think it made any difference.

I'm not going to quit Effexor. That's the only med that helped me so far (aside from Clonazapem for anxiety), and I tried in the last years: Escitalopram, Mirtazapine, Carbamazepine, Wellbutrin, etc.
It's weird, everyone say about Wellbutrin that it's a stimulant, but I didn't feel it at all. And it's also weird that so many people have bad exepreince with Effexor, and for me that's the only med that brought a good change. It helped with my depression, anxiety, DR, self injury. More than that, since taking it I no longer see the world in black & white the way I did before. I guess I still have it but it got so much better. I used to get into fights because of it all the time, and now I just see beyond it and can stop myself before getting into a fight. I'm not sure if I have Borderline Personality Disorder but it seems this way to me. Well, all my prevoius docs said I have BPD (my brother once told me that when he learned about this topic he thought about me, lol) but I don't trust them. I think I shall ask my current one, though I don't know if it matters that much. Anyway, this med helped that too. It's unbeliveble when I think of it. Maybe not all of it is my fault, maybe it's true something in my brain is a bit dameged.


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