# Big Setback



## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

after 4 good months just passed (I have had dp/dr for 9 months) I seem to be slipping a lot the past week







im really spacing out bad and feel like crying all the time. I'm not even going to go into my spmtoms it seems pointless now. I don't know what is different which brought it on, I had a bit of stress with women troubles but sorted that out and that is fine, I started the gym lifting weights, which should help me really not worsen, I also started taking whey protein but this was a few days after I started feeling bad and have taken it many times in the past and been fine. Maybe i'm just over analyzing everything when it is just a coincidence it is back. I cannot go down the road I use to be on though. f things keep getting bad I will need something! I'm so upset after doing so well for so long, that guy who was doing well feels like a different person now it's strange. I hate this







I don't deserve to live like this anymore it's been too long







cries.

Paul


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## Guest (Jun 1, 2010)

I know the feeling. I'm at the same place. I've had dp for 8 months and I started to think I was recovering but things have gone down hill for me recently. I've started having just insane things happening inside of my mind. Things I can't even describe. Thoughts changing so fast that it just feels like chatter and I can't grasp what the thought even are. Really weird sensations. Like I said, just feelings I can't even begin to describe. Some days I am really worried that I am going crazy. I don't have any advice. Just wanted to say that I can relate.


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## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

thanks pal I can relate a lot to your description, it is so upsetting when it hits like this, I am trying so hard not to cry constantly...what do you think brought this back on for you?

Paul


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

bigpmcd said:


> after 4 good months just passed (I have had dp/dr for 9 months) I seem to be slipping a lot the past week
> 
> 
> 
> ...


ups and down is part of the life. You said you feel like crying all the time, are you depressed?
You have had good months before, you can still have more good months, even no end to the good months, just keep doing what you did when you felt better, and don't let the DP get any space.


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## bigpmcd (Nov 16, 2009)

thanks dude =] I have read your story thanks for contributing it. I use to be very bad, suicidal almost, then the last few months I have done very well, I would say even 55% better. I feel back down to like 5%. I am hoping it passes and doesn't turn into months spell. I had depression at the end of last year but came over that, hope it doesn't come back. I have nothing to be depressed about though, have a great life, it's just dp that is recking it all









thanks again


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## Guest (Jun 1, 2010)

bigpmcd said:


> thanks dude =] I have read your story thanks for contributing it. I use to be very bad, suicidal almost, then the last few months I have done very well, I would say even 55% better. I feel back down to like 5%. I am hoping it passes and doesn't turn into months spell. I had depression at the end of last year but came over that, hope it doesn't come back. I have nothing to be depressed about though, have a great life, it's just dp that is recking it all
> 
> 
> 
> ...


If you feel like you need to cry, then cry. Crying is a great release. I have been the biggest cry baby since getting dp. At the beginning I would have at least one giant sob fest per day. More recently, crying makes my dr go away. My vision gets really sharp and clear.

Yes, I do know what the cause of my issue is. Having to move back into with my abusive husband, having no way out, etc. I'm seriously considering medication, which I previously swore off, because I can't deal with the anxiety and depression anymore.


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

I can't really advise here as it took me 4 years to recover (from start to finish probably 4 and a half)

You have to realise it will not be a straight line recovery, there will be ups and downs. Try not to dwell on it too much as that in itself will make it worse. You just have to try and shrug it off and carry on as you were doing, hard as it may seem. Do not dwell on all the 'what-ifs', they never get you anywhere...


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## Brittany329 (Dec 13, 2009)

guest1234- you're great.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2010)

guest1234 said:


> Do not dwell on all the 'what-ifs', they never get you anywhere...


I agree with this. When I was hospitalized I got a packet on "coping skills" for anxiety and one of the things that stood out to me was "don't deal in absolutes" (I will NEVER get better, I'm stuck like this FOREVER, etc). I recently got another worksheet from my CBT therapist and it says "Don't say I wish I was like all of the normal people". I've found that this one issue is a major issue that drives anxiety in dp. We sit and are like "I remember my old life. I want that back. I'm scared I'm never going to get better. I want to be normal. I want to be like everyone else". I think we all think these thoughts and they freak us out because we have this condition that doesn't have any easy fix. That in turn causes more anxiety and feeds the dp loop.

I've come to realize that dp is like a chinese finger trap. The harder you fight to get out of it, the tighter it holds on to you. So I've decided that the best course of action is just to accept it. It's hard because I do remember my life before dp and I want to fight this thing but that will always make it stronger. So when those thoughts come, I just stop myself and am like "You might have this for the rest of your life. Don't fight it. Don't wish for something better. Just accept where you are right this minute and have peace in it". I know it is incredibly hard but I would rather accept it as my reality now and live despite it than to be at the height of anxiety all of the time, trying to fight something that I have no control over.


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> So I've decided that the best course of action is just to accept it. It's hard because I do remember my life before dp and I want to fight this thing but that will always make it stronger. So when those thoughts come, I just stop myself and am like "You might have this for the rest of your life. Don't fight it. Don't wish for something better. Just accept where you are right this minute and have peace in it". I know it is incredibly hard but I would rather accept it as my reality now and live despite it than to be at the height of anxiety all of the time, trying to fight something that I have no control over.


I agree with most of this. I don't think you will have it for the rest of your life however. But definitely once you stop dwelling on it daily and looking for new symptoms, just kind of put it all in the anxiety/dp hat and stop giving it the attention it so craves, and don't let it stop you from doing anything, you take a lot of the fear and worry out of it and give your poor old brain a chance to have a rest and recover from all the emotional stress.

Like I have said before, fighting what is to all intents and purposes a natural mechanism is pointless, it's like fighting with yourself. You have to just let it heal you and stop resisting (and again I say, don't think just because it seems horrible to you that it can't be natural - think of how many things in nature seem horrible to us and also look at the human spine - that evolved and is by no means perfect - you wouldn't design it that way from scratch in a million years, it's just bad because it has adapted from the quadroped spine)

A good tip is to look at natural things like water - they don't resist against obstacles they come across, they just flow over them or around them. It's a good approach to take


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