# Is there HOPE?



## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

I am extremely detached from my body. So basically all I am right now is frame. i have no person like traits that i can feel even though i look like a person. The lady who i am seeing tells me that she has only seen this type of detachment in the most severe of trauma. My trauma was not very severe and I don't know if this is trauma related at all. Do I have any HOPE at all? like seriously I don't feel like a person at all and this is extremely disturbing.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

There is absolutely hope. Changing your life in various aspects, medecine, vitamins, socialising, there are tons of things that people have implemented to recover.

Peace.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

CoffeeGirl9 said:


> I am extremely detached from my body. So basically all I am right now is frame. i have no person like traits that i can feel even though i look like a person. The lady who i am seeing tells me that she has only seen this type of detachment in the most severe of trauma. My trauma was not very severe and I don't know if this is trauma related at all. Do I have any HOPE at all? like seriously I don't feel like a person at all and this is extremely disturbing.


Oh God. Why does therapists say these things? You are not a "rare" case at all, therapists always seem to tell people things like that, when in fact there are so many people who has the same experiences. It really angers me. Everything is curable, so don't lose hope. You should check biological factors off the list first, as surprisingly many mental problems stems from very physical causes. If it is in fact psychological, you KNOW you can heal, it just takes time and work. Find a therapist who has more experience, and a heart, someone who doesn't throw disorders and medical terms at you every session.
It sounds to me like you've been through something difficult, or maybe you're in the midst of it. You're mind is protecting itself, so you experience dissociation, or detachment. It's the way it is supposed to work, you are normal.
I'd advice you to read up on dissociation in general, it might calm you down to learn how people use different kinds of mechanisms to shield themselves whilst experiencing stress. What scares or stresses you out is different for everyone, trauma is certainly not the only cause for dp and the likes.

Good luck


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

york said:


> CoffeeGirl9 said:
> 
> 
> > I am extremely detached from my body. So basically all I am right now is frame. i have no person like traits that i can feel even though i look like a person. The lady who i am seeing tells me that she has only seen this type of detachment in the most severe of trauma. My trauma was not very severe and I don't know if this is trauma related at all. Do I have any HOPE at all? like seriously I don't feel like a person at all and this is extremely disturbing.
> ...


Would it be normal then to not be able to hear myself or any part of me at all during this state? like have no presence at all where i'm aware of myself or surroundings? like hearing another presence in the room? no one looking through my eyes?


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## Tommygunz (Sep 7, 2009)

thats exactly what we all feel. thats why were all here. welcome to the forum that everyone wishes they never had to join.


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## CoffeeGirl9 (Oct 4, 2009)

so what are you people doing!!?!??!?! i can't live like this. it wasn't 3 months ago and i was fine. you can't just tell me that something can happen just like that to not even make you feel like a human being. my therapist sounds so doubtful that i will ever find myself again. i don't even have memories of me anymore. i can't remember what normal feels like.


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## Tommygunz (Sep 7, 2009)

i have been researching and experimenting with what could potentially be the most significant treatment to date. here it is. inositol over 1000 mg, choline 500 mg, a sublingual vitamin B complex, mine contains B2,3,5,6, and 12. if you are taking medication talk to a doctor before starting this, but i recommend not taking medication in the first place. the reason this is so significant is that inositol and b vitamins have been used to treat anxiety, OCD, agoraphobia and central nervous system problems, just to name a few. you see the theory behind this treatment isn't to attack the cause of the dp/dr, it's about attacking the elements that allow it to persist. the reason this has not been the miracle breakthrough that it could be, is that no one has tried choline, and no one has combined the three. the thing about inositol and choline is that they are considered unofficial members of the B vitamin family. in order to get the most out of a B vitamin, you need to take other B vitamins with it. they work together by amplifying the positive benefits of each other, in turn you're not getting some out of one, your getting everything out of all of them. i also recommend taking magnesium, calcium, and vitamin D. if your gonna get better might as well do it all the way right. in addition to all of this, youtube EFT introduction. with all of these things combined it's kind of like dropping a nuke on dp/dr. now, this sounds so good on paper and all, but what really matters is that i have been using these supplements and i have made almost a full recovery in two weeks. don't take this lightly. research these things for yourself. you will be just as excited as i am.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

There is hope although it dosen't seem like it, I know. I'm going through the same thing as you, we all are. Mine happened in a day and I have had it 24/7 for 4 years straight. Do you ever question whether you exist or that you are "here" anymore? Well thats what DP is supposed to feel like. I feel like I've dissapeared and everything look and feels sooooo far away and distorted and I can barely feel my own body anymore, BUT, YOU HAVE TO BE HERE!!!!. Where could you have gone? You don't leave your body until you die, unless you are hallucinating. I really don't know what advice to give because I don't really have any myself. I'm still scared but I can only do what is within my strength to do. If I were you, I would listen to Tommygunz because I think he is really on to something. He and I are sort of a team now and i'm going to try those supplements that he's been researching, and all of his research looks concrete. There are a lot of things that can help but out of all the things i've tried in these 4 years, this sounds the most plausible. And the main thing thats kept me from litterally putting a bullet in my non-existent head has been my love for God and knowing my life is in his hands, I don't know what your thoughts are on that but thats just me. So just know that you are still yourself, your brain is just acting stupid at the moment but it is not dangerous and you will get better, it just takes a little time and work. Well, i dont know much else to say but we're all with you in this and we will all get better. :wink:


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

Although I agree with Tommy, I must say that benzo's have been a life saver for me, and many others. It is not always true that you'll have a horrible withdrawal when you get off them. You have to be careful and not take one every time you feel anxious, stay within a limit and take it regularly (don't listen to doctors who claim that'll make you addicted, as a steady dose will help your thoughts stabilize and get off the emotional roller-coaster).


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

york said:


> Although I agree with Tommy, I must say that benzo's have been a life saver for me, and many others. It is not always true that you'll have a horrible withdrawal when you get off them. You have to be careful and not take one every time you feel anxious, stay within a limit and take it regularly (don't listen to doctors who claim that'll make you addicted, as a steady dose will help your thoughts stabilize and get off the emotional roller-coaster).


Couldn't agree with Anny any more(wow that sounded weird :lol: ) on this. Benzos have been a tremendous relief. This is what I was saying close to the end of the PM I sent you. Get some kind of benzodiazapine to calm you and your thoughts. :wink:


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## CindyinMontana (Nov 10, 2009)

Hi,
This is the first time I have posted anything although I have been to this site many times in the last year. I am going to share with you what I have learned to heal myself over the past year. The healing process is still continuing. First off, go to dpmanual.com and purchase this WONDERFUL healing guide written by a dp sufferer who healed himself. I downloaded it (it only costs $15) then had it printed at Kinkos into a book (maybe another $10) and it really saved me. Since there is little known, especially by doctors and therapists about dp, you really have to be proactive and fight through this on your own. I know you are tired and inside you want to scream, "this isn't happening!!! this can't be happening!!!" but you can do this. Slowly, bit by bit, using every ounce of endurance and perseverance within you, you can improve. Every thought you think creates your future. What I realized about this is that EVERY thought determines recovery. Only read positive posts!!! Don't feed the beast with fear and negativity. You are too sensitive to that, especially right now. You have to retrain your brain. I actually made my own self help tapes, using positive messages from the dp manual as well as Loise Hay's book entitled You Can Heal Your Life. The author healed herself from cancer and has been very inspirational to me. Each cell in your body has divine intelligence, trust the process of life. Whenever my brain would go down hopeless avenues I would put my own tapes in to feed it different thoughts. While I made the tapes, I thought, this is crazy but they REALLY worked. 
Have you looked into neurofeedback? Supposedly, it has had great results with depersonalization sufferers. My therapist left me feeling even more hopeless so I am done with that. If I ever do try it again, it's going to be neurofeedback. Going to a meditation group once a week has been personally beneficial to me. It was awhile until I could handle that. At first, all I could do was "hole up" and try to simplify my life. I have two small children and this was terrifying to me at first because I thought that they were going to be taken away from me. I still feel traces of the dp and sometimes I have "bad" days, like yesterday for instance. DP has become my checks and balances. If I don't get enough sleep or am getting sick or having pms, the dp may come on. I have ways to bring myself back now. The most important thing for me is to NOT PANIC when it starts to come on. I have index cards with anti-anxiety sayings on them to calm me down ("I can handle these sensations and feelings", "Nothing serious is going to happen to me, I am safe", etc.) then I rub a therapeutic grade essential oil blend (called Valor from Young Living oils) on my wrists and deeply breathe in. I will then try and get a moment to myself to deeply breathe while reciting positive affirmations, such as "I love and accept myself exactly as I am right now" (which helps me forgive myself for having this) and then I will find something to distract myself such as a great TV show, reading a book (usually to my kids because I need to take care of them too) or go on you tube. Really anything that will calm the brain and the negative thoughts. Listening to my homemade tapes really helps. Sometimes just re-reading the DP manual helps tremendously. I actually felt like I was fighting off the dp for two days and then when I went to mediation last night, it helped me turn a positive corner. I feel great today, 99% normal. I too did not have a huge tragic event that triggered this. From all of the research I have done on this, many sufferers are just like you and me. I think prolonged stress can do this. In my case, I didn't even realize that I had prolonged anxiety for many years. Basically I hit a wall so many times with a shortish temper and general anxiety and so finally I fell through the wall. It was a lot of little stressors over a long period. 
Maintenance is key. I take a lot of supplements to help me stay on top of things. 5,000 IU's of vitamin D (I live where there are 80% overcast days), St. John's wort, a probiotic, Bee pollen, vit B, multi-vitamin, calcium and magnesium (but only at night because they can make you drowsy), and vit c. I also would advocate no meds but that is a personal journey. I tried them for one day and reached an all time low. I described that low to my husband like this: if someone was to walk into the house with a gun, I would have begged them to kill me. So, for me, drugs are not an option. I see it like this, right now, I know what my problems are and as daunting as that is sometimes, it's easier to deal with than adding a new set of problems due to the unpredictability of medications. I also do not drink alcohol anymore (with the exception of an occasional drink which is pretty recent), I try not to eat very much sugar, I eat mostly organic, and lots of fruits and veggies. I don't try to do too much anymore. I have a few passions and interests that I put my time into now and don't let myself get spread out. I am in a band, which has been a great distraction but challenging to play live if I am not feeling great mentally. (But once we are playing, I am fine...Distractions are key) My husband and I co-own a restaurant. I now only do the bookeeping because this is good for me mentally. I am an artist and I paint whenever the girls are at preschool. I go to mediation on Mondays, dance class on Tuesdays and pilates on Saturdays. Exercise helps. Keeping busy helps. At night, when my dp is the worst, I put on a netflix. Now that I have it under control, I don't let it run my life. I just have to be careful to keep that balance. I could write all day (my kids just woke up from their naps). You can learn how to cope with this. Ever notice how being positive makes you feel about this? What if you kept the positive messages flowing in all day and night? I even gave my friends and family a sheet of paper with responses for them to give me. Things like, "You can do this! You're doing great! I know this is the hardest thing you have ever done, but I believe you can make a full recovery! Don't give up!" I also told them not to ask me about it or talk about it unless I brought it up. It's really a head trip and at first, anything could trigger it. I didn't tell too many people for many reasons...they won't understand and it may make you paranoid that they think your "crazy" or something. Deal with this one moment or one day at a time. You don't need to project into the future. Each thought is important to your recovery. Remember: adversity develops qualities of strength and compassion... This isn't going to hurt you even though it feels like hell. I know you can overcome this. Get the dp manual, be proactive, ask people for support and words of encouragement. Be patient with yourself but also be mindful of every negative thought and replace it with a positive one, even if you don't believe that thought. Brain retraining. Dp likes to "get you" when you are down and tired. That's a good time to watch a movie or find a distraction. You can beat this. You will start to find things that lesson the dp and then start to fine tune your life to make this manageable. For me, lighting could trigger it. I don't use overhead lights now, only lamps. I don't do dishes at night because for some reason the lighting in the kitchen really bothers me at night. The refrigerator light still bothers me, especially at night. Or changing rooms too much can bother me. Sometimes I just have to stay in one room and be mindful as I go into another room. Start to journal about what is working and what makes things worse. Talking about the dp made it worse for me so that is one of the reasons I haven't posted until now. My heart goes out to you, I know this is hard to believe but the sooner you accept it and then become proactive, the sooner you will begin to heal. You can handle this. I have learned so much about myself and my limits and mental boundaries. Who knows, maybe someday, I will be thankful that this happened because now I am more mindful about myself and my life. Each moment in life is a new beginning point, THIS moment in life is a new beginning.


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## CindyinMontana (Nov 10, 2009)

Hi again,
Just got my kids to sleep...couple more thoughts. I noticed your user name is coffee girl and just wanted to give you the heads up that caffeine can trigger anxiety which feeds the dp. I cut it out completely until things were a bit more under control then integrated decaf in. I was paranoid about the trace amounts in decaf and didn't want to take any chances. Today, I remembered another trick I use to help myself cope. I tell myself stuff like, 'OK, if I can just get through this grocery shopping experience then I will get a break...etc. I bait myself with little rewards to help get myself through stress, which triggers me. Tonight I thought about skipping my dance class because I was feeling really "dp'd out" but I knew once I got there, I would be ok. Dancing to live drums stimulates my brain and body and involves my total attention and makes me forget completely about dp. I hate driving at night because I usually get dp so I listened to an amazing cd on the way there to distract myself and also on the drive home. I then had to pick my kids up at the neighbors house and get them home and into bed, which is always stressful. I knew though if I could just get through that, then I would be ok. I use a number system to rate my level of dp... "10" is totally panicking and despairing dp and "1" or "0" is feeling like my old self or have completely forgotten about dp. It's weird, sometimes I go from a 7 or 8 while I am putting the kids to bed while they push me to the limit all the way but then as soon as I get them down, my dp drops to a "2" or even "1". That's how I know that stress is one of my triggers. I used to feel "8" to "10" for most of the time until I learned to control this beast. I now generally stay between a 0 and 3. Unless I am under a lot of stress which can shoot it up temporarily to a 6 or 7. I don't let it get to a 10 anymore. I used to "check in" with myself every morning, "do I still have it? etc." but now I actually forget about it unless a trace reminder makes me aware and then I try and ignore even that. The brain is on high alert when this thing first rears it's ugly head but after awhile, and maybe after you put in the work of thinking positively or trying not to feed the vicious cycle of anxiety, panic and dp, the brain begins to calm itself. 
Anyway, hope some of this helps. You have to find what works for you, it's different for everyone, it seems! Remember to use your 6th sense...gut instinct. If you think something might work for you, try it, even if it seems ridiculous or has never worked for anyone else. Find things that are physically and mentally engaging to give yourself breaks from this feeling...taking a hot shower while listening to opera, blasting music in your car while singing along, play video games while you listen to CD's, read novels out loud, recite affirmations out loud in an English accent or into a tape recorder then play it back)...whatever works. Multi-task, engage your senses, eat amazing food, teach yourself how to cook (this helped me). Try and have fun with your recovery. I am going to eat ice cream and watch a movie now. I guess I'm self medicating!


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## Borisus (Nov 13, 2009)

Welcome, friend.


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## CindyinMontana (Nov 10, 2009)

appreciate the welcom


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