# hey guys, can I have your help?



## retainer (Jun 18, 2006)

I'm not sure whether I'm going through depersonalization or whatever... I'm fourteen years-old, almost fifteen, and I've been having this feeling for a few years now.
What happens is everything seems fake, like a dream. I could stick my head in an oven or jsut like hurt myself, and it wouldn't seem like real life. It's like nothing matters, so I can do anything. Still, I wouldn't do something like hurt myself or anyone else, because I know it does matter. I know I'm in the real world, and I know what I do has real effects. It just doesn't seem like it.
Right now, my head is twisting; part of me wants to just blow up, and part of me is trying desperately to feel normal. I feel so lazy. I hardly do exercise because I like don't feel like I can move. Right now, all I can move are my fingers while I'm typing.
I feel like my head is separate from the rest of my body, but my head hardly belongs to me anymore because it's so split. In my head I feel terrible because of all these emotions, but I'm still able to respond to the rest of the world normally, and I'm still able to type on here as if nothing is wrong. I can talk to my friends online and be like lol and stuff like that, but I'm sitting here with no expressions. It's as if all of me is inside my head, and I have nothing to do with my body.
Despite all this, I'm still able to concentrate in school and get good grades.
I have ocd-- a really bad case of it. I need to check things a million times and ugh its a pain.
I also feel stressed and depressed, and have all those crappy symptoms. 
It's really hard for me to fall asleep, and when I do, I grind my teeth like crazy. I often catch myself grinding my teeth while I'm awake.
I have this everyday, but then it goes away at some points during the day, only to come back again in a few hours.
Sometimes I feel like im trapped in my body; my thoughts are normal, but I just can't move. I feel nothing but a light, floating feeling from the rest of my body... it just doesn't seem like it's all a part of me.
It's hard to distinguish between mental and physical pain now.
Depression and bipolar disorder run in my family. 
Also, I have deja vu all the time... im not sure what that has to do with anything, but they say it's a symptom so I might as well mention that I have it a lot.
oh, and I always have trouble making decisions... just thought i'd add that.

Is this depersonalization, or am I just insane or something???? Please help


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## retainer (Jun 18, 2006)

oops I didn't mean to do this response..but it won't let me delete it lol.
so uhh can anyone help me with my topic question thing?


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## widescreened (Jun 22, 2005)

Hello retainer.
Firstly, every mental illness has a treatment and you can and will successfully improve your situation.
There is so much information on this site, so expect to be a little bit confused about what people think that caused it, or more importantly, what makes you feel better or worse.
I think, and this is only my oppinion,(Im not a doctor), is that you are suffering depersonalization disorder, arising from anxiety from your ocd/depression.This is nothing to be worried about.It is your mind shielding itself from the ocd.
Very very few people suffer depersonalization disorder on its own, without it arising from/as a result of mental/emotional disturbance.

Heres a list of things I suggest you do.You are lucky that you are aware of your situation, many people dont understand whats wrong, and go around without help or support.

1.Get a good psychiatrist one who you like and can relate to.
2.Make sure you eat properly, and take vitamins and suppliaments.These will help you stay strong physically
3.Exercise
4.Sleep properly.exercise will help you do this
5.Hobbies and interests
6.Friends,and laughter

Never do drugs, avoid too much alcohol, dont spend long times alone.
Be careful of reading too much on this site.Stick to the recovery stories.
the general forum can be good,but you dont need to read it if you stick to the very simple things above.
Good luck and stay strong.


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