# Looking at old photos makes me depressed



## Chris P Bacon (May 31, 2011)

Just been looking on my facebook there at old pictures of me and my friends before I started to suffer with dp and anxiety (so photos dated about 18 or so months ago). I just keep thinking about how happy I look in them, I was young, carefree and enjoying life. I was around 18/19 years of age, with my whole life ahead of me to look forward to.

Now I'm 20 and I feel old, I feel as though the best years of my life have already been and are now long gone. I feel as though I have no reason to live, especially suffering with this condition. Even now I see my friends and they all still have that youthful look and zest, whereas the spark and fizzle in my eye has long since faded.

It feels strange to know that none of my friends actually have any clue about how deeply unhappy I am and how much I am suffering with this, it makes me feel so depressed. I am having more and more thoughts about suicide and the possibility of not having to feel like this anymore. I think the dp/dr has caused me to slip into a major bout of depression.

I hope that as I cling on and the days, weeks and months pass by that maybe I will start to feel different and notice an improvement.

Sorry about this particularly depressing post, I know it is pathetic that the only way I can share my true thoughts and feelings is on the internet with a bunch of strangers and not those people closest to me, but no-one will understand.


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

I can relate to what you say. I have done the same thing on Facebook and with photos on my phone. Try not to think about it try to embrace it. Its not pathetic at all in fact the only pathetic thing i can see from your post was you say you felt young at 19 then old at 20? lol. Seriously man i hope this shit gets better for all of us.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Fluke said:


> I can relate to what you say. I have done the same thing on Facebook and with photos on my phone.


Same. ^ Depresses me a lot.

Can also relate to the ''my eyes have long lost the zest and sparkle in them'' feeling.


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

insaticiable said:


> Same. ^ Depresses me a lot.
> 
> Can also relate to the ''my eyes have long lost the zest and sparkle in them'' feeling.


Yep like when people call them "dead fish eyes"


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Fluke said:


> Yep like when people call them "dead fish eyes"


The ''dead fish eyes'' and the forced/fake smile. I used to be able to smile with my eyes...but I can't anymore. I try to though. It's just not the same.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

Chris P Bacon said:


> Now I'm 20 and I feel old, I feel as though the best years of my life have already been and are now long gone. I feel as though I have no reason to live,


It's weird right?

I'm 19 and I'm in first year of college and still, I feel as if my whole life has passed right beside me, and I failed to take grasp of life's most precious oportunities.

And to be honest, when I look at old photos, I don't feel depressed.

I feel rather joyful, that I lived a good life back then, and wasn't there to experience this living hell.


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## Guest (May 19, 2012)

well you guys make me glad I only got dp when I was 21 ....but dude I was so full of life back then now im just a shell of my old self but you guys can overcome this, every last one of us have the ability with in ourselves to beat this monster...you just gotta dedicate yourselfs in coping and improving inch by inch and step by step...but you need to see a pro about overcoming this cause you might slip and need direction, just keep your chin up


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