# why is everyday the same?



## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

why can't one day be different or feel different than the other, every day there is no feeling to it, no certain aurora or mood or emotion prolly mainly cuz i have no feelings or moods or emotions maybe thats why every day is the same and i have no thoughts most of the time.


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## Lunar Lander (Feb 17, 2006)

Do you do just about the same thing every day?


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## subtlerobot (Oct 15, 2005)

Lunar Lander said:


> Do you do just about the same thing every day?


i do, and i believe it to be one of my major contributors to my dp. i would like to go outside and enjoy nature as i used to, but i just can't bring myself to. every single day i sit on my computer hoping tomorrow will be better. it's a vicious cycle.


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## Lunar Lander (Feb 17, 2006)

subtlerobot said:


> i do, and i believe it to be one of my major contributors to my dp. i would like to go outside and enjoy nature as i used to, but i just can't bring myself to. every single day i sit on my computer hoping tomorrow will be better. it's a vicious cycle.


I've felt like that myself, but then find it goes away if I do something involved enough that I'm no longer thinking about dp. It's one of those things you just have to do, and you can't be thinking "this better get rid of it" or "this will be awful if it doesn't work" or worrying about how you don't feel like it right now. I'm usually back down at some point in the day, and I credit that to following the advice of people here who say you just have to get on with things despite it. If you go to the recovery stories you'll see that that's a very common factor. I used to worry about how it would affect me at work, until I just went ahead and started working. Now I find if I do absorbing enough work, that can actually make it go away. And one of the situations that I feared the most, talking in front of everyone at meetings, I found was a very good way to make it go away.

What's helped me in the past is keeping track of what makes me feel better, to "prove" to myself that there are such things.


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## none (Dec 29, 2005)

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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

"What's helped me in the past is keeping track of what makes me feel better, to "prove" to myself that there are such things."

I couldn't agree more. If I have a good day today and tomorrow, but suffer a setback on Wednesday, I try to remember that there is no reason that Thursday cannot be good again. I do this moment to moment, too. Five minutes from now, I might catch something out of the corner of my eye and feel unreal. But right now? I feel connected. And after I zone out five minutes from now, I will remember that I can - and will - feel well again.


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## Jack30 (Apr 27, 2006)

Unknown...

What do you believe is the source of your DP/DR?

And can you say that you have never felt terrible, but subsequently felt better? Even if you feel terrible and unreal right now?


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

While it is hard for me to do so as well, we all need to stop overanalyzing EVERYTHING. How does this feel? Why does today feel like yesterday? Why doesn't this song make me feel the way it used to? Why doesn't this excite me like it used to? Guess what??? We aren't ever gonna find the answer by asking ourselves these questions. We can ask these questions for the rest of our lives and guess what? We'll never get an answer. So we need to try to just maintain and move onward without over analyzing how every second feels.

When I feel my crappiest and most depressed and scared and DPed, I still try my HARDEST to continue on. You can't stop doing everything because if you do this your DP will win. You have to keep on keepin on. So, everyday might always feel the same right now, but I can tell you this, overanalyzing it and questioning it over and over again won't help things feel right again. You just have to accept that things don't feel right and try to ignore it as much as possible. Find things to do, work, workout, play sports, be around people, etc. I know it's hard, cause it is extremely hard for me as well, but it's the only way out of this.

Kelson


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## tori (Oct 15, 2004)

You can't complain that every day is the same if you are making each day the same for yourself. If you want things to change you have to make the changes yourself. This is what I've realised anyway. If you are going to sit around waiting and wondering why you are not getting better then nothing will change. I suggest you push yourself to do things no matter how difficult it may seem..


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## Guest (May 1, 2006)

Don?t try to change how you feel because that won?t work, to feel different you need to do something different? Having the same routine will help to make you feel the same every day.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

no i do different things each day. like last week i wen't to the movies wen't to a yankee game and got kinda drunk on friday and wen't out with my brother and his friend and played video games in an arcade. that was alright, it just feels like i am not actually a part of any of these things that i do, its really hard to have fun and expierience the moment. even if i am doing something else and not thinking about how i can't feel it doesn't help much. i still don't feel here and like i'm actually participating in my own life. it feels like someone else is living my life and not me.


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## Guest (May 1, 2006)

livinginhell333 said:


> no i do different things each day. like last week i wen't to the movies wen't to a yankee game and got kinda drunk on friday and wen't out with my brother and his friend and played video games in an arcade. that was alright, it just feels like i am not actually a part of any of these things that i do, its really hard to have fun and expierience the moment. even if i am doing something else and not thinking about how i can't feel it doesn't help much. i still don't feel here and like i'm actually participating in my own life. it feels like someone else is living my life and not me.


Observing a dream?


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i think you are maybe trying to say that everyday feels/seems the same,if thats the case then i can relate,i do a hell of alot of varied things each day but it all feels the same but i just get on with it,what else can we do ? 
the biggest problem i feel is this machine in front of us all,it is a help but it can also be a curse,you really do need to pull yourself away from the computer,and even computer games................

i will log on in the morning but i tell myself that im not going to be on here long, then i shut the pc down and out i go


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## Guest (May 1, 2006)

jc said:


> you really do need to pull yourself away from the computer,and even computer games................
> 
> i will log on in the morning but i tell myself that im not going to be on here long, then i shut the pc down and out i go


Yeah I think you are spot on there, I?ve spent hours on the Xbox today playing "American McGee?s Scrapland" because it makes for an excellent escape... Maybe too excellent in that I felt it hard to ease I back out of where I have escaped too.

I respect that you are able to pull yourself from your computer, what do you do to make the day go by? (Work, volunteering, ECT)


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

video games are cool, they take your mind off dp for a little while cause you have to focus on the game.


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## Guest (May 1, 2006)

As much as i love them... they are a vicious circle... Such a pitty.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

Emulated Puppet{eEr} said:


> livinginhell333 said:
> 
> 
> > no i do different things each day. like last week i wen't to the movies wen't to a yankee game and got kinda drunk on friday and wen't out with my brother and his friend and played video games in an arcade. that was alright, it just feels like i am not actually a part of any of these things that i do, its really hard to have fun and expierience the moment. even if i am doing something else and not thinking about how i can't feel it doesn't help much. i still don't feel here and like i'm actually participating in my own life. it feels like someone else is living my life and not me.
> ...


more like obeserving a nightmare, a dream is usually a good thing. the worst thing about this is that i appear normal to everyone but i seem unreal and so does everyone and everything else, espiacially my family. its like i can't really feel their presence, really how can i feel their presence when i can't feel my own.


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## Guest (May 2, 2006)

livinginhell333 said:


> more like obeserving a nightmare, a dream is usually a good thing. the worst thing about this is that i appear normal to everyone but i seem unreal and so does everyone and everything else, espiacially my family. its like i can't really feel their presence, really how can i feel their presence when i can't feel my own.


Yes I get this as well, Most people think im normal which I found weird myself? I guess the reason I found it weird is because I view being normal as being ?perfect? ? I forget that I am only human and human make mistake which is classed as being normal.

I guess we both good being on auto pilot?


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

yea i am on auto-pilot all of the time. i feel like a freakin robot because i don't really have any emotions.


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

video games if played too much can create a virtual world.... what do i do to drag myself away from the pc ? i go for a walk,go to the libary,go and buy a newspaper,go for a cycle ride,cut the grass........... anything really that forces me into the real world,i feel extremely dissapointed with myself if i sit here for most of the day


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## none (Dec 29, 2005)

//


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## Guest (May 2, 2006)

livinginhell333 said:


> yea i am on auto-pilot all of the time. i feel like a freakin robot because i don't really have any emotions.


Guess that is the point of DP, To limit our emotions? Maybe we got to the point of feeling too much pain? Who knows =S heh.


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## Guest (May 2, 2006)

jc said:


> video games if played too much can create a virtual world.... what do i do to drag myself away from the pc ? i go for a walk,go to the libary,go and buy a newspaper,go for a cycle ride,cut the grass........... anything really that forces me into the real world,i feel extremely dissapointed with myself if i sit here for most of the day


Yeah and time seems to go by like there?s no tomoz. I can take my dog a walk which lasts for one hour ? then im going to the gym tomorrow for about four hours because I spend about one hour just chatting to the instructor (She?s nice)?

I just got Ace_Combat_Zero_The_Belkan_War_USA_PS2DVD-PROTOCOL and it?s so hard to try and stop playing it because Ace Combat is one of my favour games? I could do it but I am bone idle? I?ve even gone off women (which bothers me but at the same time its useful).

I know the feeling of disappointment because I was meant to go to ?Green health? today but I was so tired (Only got six hours of sleep) so I went back to bed? TuTT @ me.


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## Guyver-Gabriel (Oct 29, 2005)

lh33, if you keep on telling yourself the same things over and over again, it is defenetely not going to help you.altho those uncomfortable feelings are there, LEARN to make abstraction of them. you cant just go on like this forever, m8.'oh my gosh i cant feel shit im doomed' seriously what kind of outlook can you expect to get with such a frame of mind? personally, i think DP and discipline are related, so , maybe 'bending' yourself out of it may be a start.

Gabriel


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## walkingdead (Jan 28, 2006)

Livinginhell, I just got back form out of town and saw your post.. I feel exactly the same. some of the responses to this also strenghtens my assertian that some of us here, you and me included, suffer from some slightly different form of the hell. If you do not feel this way, it is just almost impossible to comprehend it. Even on days that I do so many different things(which are very rare) it just feels the same. Christmas, birthdays, every holiday feels the same as any other day. I do not know the answer but blaming yourself for this is NOT it. Even if it could make you feel bad, which if you are like me it wouldn't anyway. 
If we wanted to do something different we would. But we lack the capacity to "want' anymore, except that we want to "want", if that makes sense to anyone. This is the most miserable way to live that I can actually think of.
Wish I could do more to help, Living, but at least we know we are not completely alone.


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## freesong (Dec 26, 2005)

Ditto on DP days. When I am back to this as I have been all day long, I feel nothing. On the good days, I feel hope and love and a part of things again. It is sooo strange.


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## Universal (May 30, 2005)

have you tried anythign to help you at all livinginhell333? maybe some nlp or something might make you feel abit more "visual" . who knows, keep searching for cures thats kinda become my hobby nowadays.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

yes i have tried stuff i've seen doctors tried meds, tried doing things to take my mind of it, even though a lot of times my mind is spaced out and thinking about nothing at all. i've tried acupunture i've tried stimulants like ritalin, i've taken fish oils and st.johns wort, nothing helps me come back to life at all, i feel like i have lost my soul, my body is just floating somewhere and my mind is well i don't know where that is.


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## Guest (May 5, 2006)

Temporal lobe epilepsy?



> Symptoms
> The individual with temporal lobe epilepsy may not be aware that he or she is having seizures; the symptoms may even mimic those of low blood sugar. The affected individual may have short time lapses where actions cannnot be accounted for, where he or she is momentarily frozen in a paused state. However, during these seizures, the individual may be fully aware and alert, but unable to move or see. Tonic Clonic seizures can also ensue, where there is active and uncontrolled movement usually involving convulsions. Regardless of the event, the individual may be disoriented directly following the seizure, and he or she may exhibit strong emotions dependent on the reactions of others if present


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporal_lobe_epilepsy


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