# My Week From Hell



## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

Don't know why I'm writing this. Perhaps just to get it all out. This is for me so it's unnecessary for anyone to feel they need to read it. I have had the roughest week of my entire life. For starters, you should know I'm an emetophobe. Which basically means that anything to do with vomiting scares the crap out of me. I'd rather die than vomit. Whenever I feel nauseous, the greatest panic attack comes over me that I sometimes cannot shake off for many hours. Well, last Thursday I had the worst hangover of my life. Found out I drank a bottle and a half of wine which is a lot for my little size. Somehow I managed not to puke and thought I would be clear from then on out. But I had ongoing panic attacks for 24 hours. Then a day later, my stomach starts acting up again (something it's been doing lately) and I get really nauseous and taken to the emergency room where they don't do shit to help me. Meanwhile, all this time I'm having back to back panic attacks. I finally get put on a decent med a few days later after about 72 hours of panic attacks. Helps for a little while and then christmas eve I'm feeling sick again and don't sleep all night and I ruin christmas day for my family and have to be taken off to the hospital AGAIN and the roads were so slick with ice my car almost went into a ditch. So I get to the doctors and tell them I need something for the nausea. They come back with two nice big needles which was just what I was hoping for. So glad I don't have a fear of needles or that would have made this even more difficult. Well they give me the shots and it makes my nausea worse! I'm whining and pacing and so drugged up that my DP is terribly uncontrollable and I'm making a scene. Then they tell me they will give me valium as well. And at this point, I really don't want to be any more drugged up than I am. Well, the valium makes me worse! It didn't do anything for my anxiety and I felt so out of control of my body from the nausea and the DP. I have another full day of panic attacks and a fitfull night of sleep last night and that brings me to today where I am feeling better. A week full of panic attacks is more than enough for me. These drugs are making me stupider by the second and the panic attacks are making me weaker each time. The doctors don't know what is wrong yet but I suspect it is a stomach ulcer. I'm in a lot of pain and stuff but not so much relief yet. This has been the hardest week of my life and I'm so dped and anxious I can't even cry about it to relieve any of it. My ability to cope with anxiety is laughable. For so many years, it was something I never had to worry about because I never had anxiety. Now it's creeping up out of nowhere, not from the dp (dp doesn't scare me) but just from the nausea. I've caused terrible conflicts of my family all christmas day and I feel terrible for it. I usually don't ask this of people, but if you could have me in your thoughts and prayers, it would really mean a lot. I haven't been this terrible in a long while and I know as soon as my body begins to heal, all that within my mind will as well. Thanks for reading if you did.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

I stared at the "Post Reply" button for a long while because I could not think of what to say and was about to close down my browser, because I figured that if I dont have anything appropriate to say I shouldnt try  But because I read your post I should atleast write something to show that I did.

You have my sympathy and my respect, I know what it is like to be in that version of hell. I do not like that you have to suffer. You along with Robyn, Kenny, Jordan and Crystal were the first people to befriend me on this forum and even though I have never met anyone of you, you are people that I care and think about.

I wish you happiness and health.

/Christoffer (Yes, cant we agree that not shortening my name to Chris is infact less gay because Chris is also a girls name?)


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

you make a good point christoffer! 

thank you for replying. i can't believe it's been over a year since we all met on here. i still love all of you like friends i see in my day to day life. so far so good as far as health goes for the day but i don't want to get my hopes up, as i have a couple of times and been disappointed.

love ya bro
love all of you


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## rob35235 (Feb 21, 2009)

It is so very strange that I stumbled on your post. Today I developed a fever and horrible nausea....can't eat. Whats more I haven't left the house in 2 weeks and havent' been around anyone sick. I don't know whats wrong with me, but I know exactly what you mean about the fear of vomiting and the anxiety associated w/ nausea. I'm not just saying that, I really really know what you mean because it happens to me too. But I'm not a vomiter. I haven't vomited except b/c of alcohol since I was a little kid. I'lll check back and see how ur doing.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2009)

Im so sorry you had to go through that. I hate to vomit too. I dont have a phobia of it but it is a violent thing for your body to go through and U can see how someone would have a phobia of it. I refuse to vomit unless I have no other choice. I have vomitted 6 times in the past 6 years and two of those were from morning sickness from being pregnant. I had morning sickness for 15 weeks with my last pregnancy. It was 24 hours a day a I absolutely refused to puke. So yeah, thats how hard core I am about it.
I am glad that you are feeling better today. I found that constant nibbling on stuff like crackers or toast helps keep your stomach settled and if you start to feel like youre going vomit, sniff some rubbing alcohol. I know it sounds crazy but I had the stomach flu once and a nurse in the hospital handed me one of those little swabs and told me to smell it and it actually did help.


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

Thank you both. I'm glad to hear you understand. It got to a point where I felt so bad I was like "just give me my life of dp! i'll be grateful for it as long as i live!" lol. I never post about my phobia on here because I didnt think anybody else on here would understand. It's a really frustrating phobia when you are scared to puke because the anxiety makes you more nauseous sometimes. It's such a vicious cycle. I'm sure you get it.

Anyway, random but there's this song I've been playing on the piano for a couple months that I want to share with all of you. It's a lullaby.





check it out.

Another thing, how many people feel stupid as hell after taking xanax? Lol this medication seriously stupifies me. Plus, I'm on so many drugs for pain and nausea and stomach ulcer junk that they all leave me in a drugged up state. 

Rob, I'll check back with you too. Hope to see that you are feeling better. You're in my thoughts.


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## Guest (Dec 27, 2009)

Xanax doesn't make me feel stupid. It does make my dp worse and just isn't a good drug for me all around. I am allergic to the nausea medication Reglan so I have to avoid stuff like that too. They did give me this one stuff that is in a different drug family, when I was pregnant, and it didn't do crap to make me feel better.


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## peachy (Feb 9, 2008)

Oh pregnancy...definitely not looking forward to that haha. I must have been allergic to whatever they gave me for the nausea or something.


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## rob35235 (Feb 21, 2009)

I just read your entire original post over again... BTW, I have had this chronic inflammation type thing in my duodenum (the first part of the small intestine which is connected to the stomach in the upper middle abdomen). Some times I get a knawing ache but most of the time I just have this weird nausea all the time. And often it feels connected to the intensity of my derealization. Do you ever feel like your level of nausea is concurrent with the intensity of your DP/DR?


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## Guest (Dec 28, 2009)

What I wanted to post is just that I know you are a really good person Peachy. 8)


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## dreamingoflife (Oct 22, 2006)

Aww Jin I hate to see that you have been through a bad patch. Feeling like this around Christmas is the worst. I hope you are doing a lot better now though. I never really had the fear of vomiting until recently. Anytime I am out in public these days I get so nauseous and that freaks me out. I almost had a panic attack about 20 minutes ago because I thought I was about to get sick. It's insane how the smallest things can set us off. Anyway, I hope you are better now. Oh and chris that is very sweet of you to say that and I am so glad to have met the small handful of people that I have from here as well and often think about each one you.


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## optimusrhyme (Aug 24, 2004)

hey jin, sounds like a shitty week. panic attacks are fucking hell.
I think about you, kenny, chris, matty,crystal and others alot. You guys were the people that saved my life...literally. on the much missed chatzy








this is a pretty gross story but i will tell it anyways lol since it has to do with wine.

the first time i drank a bottle of wine i decided to do it in chugs and ended up blacking out and my brother carried me to my bed, where i proceeded to puke in my sleep all over my bed.... lol (yea gross i told ya).. BUT the grossest part was when my buddies came down to check on me, I was sleeping in my puke and my Kitten was on my bed EATING MY puke! lol....

sorry if i offended anyone.

love jordy


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## dreamingoflife (Oct 22, 2006)

Optimusrhyme said:


> hey jin, sounds like a shitty week. panic attacks are fucking hell.
> I think about you, kenny, chris, matty,crystal and others alot. You guys were the people that saved my life...literally. on the much missed chatzy
> 
> 
> ...


omg jordan ewwww! lol poor kitty. Animals are so crazy. My dog had his head in the litter box the other day and you can only imagine what he was doing. They are sick freaks hahaha


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