# Existential Terror



## Stardvst (Jul 4, 2017)

Hello everyone! 
Im very new to this site and I just barely discovered that there's different sections and forums you can talk in and I found this one and I suppose I wanted to talk about how I feel today, maybe get some help and of course help others relate or something.

So since yesterday I have been having anxiety attacks over existential thoughts, mainly solipsism and stuff like the matrix being a thing and how everything I read or do is a figment of my imagination, that my depersonalized and derealized state is also a part of my imagination and everyone who writes about it is also unreal etc.

Point is i feel scared and crazy. Now I know people have also felt like this but I would like to know what's the best way to overcome this?

I've heard of things of solipsism syndrome and I read a post on hear that solipsism syndrome could lead to schizopbrenia and so naturally I worry that if I keep these thoughts going I will develop this syndrome and of course develop schizophrenia.

Im totally open to any form of treatment. I don't mind exposing myself to solipsism thoughts and feeling of unreality, but I wanna know if that's the safest route to take. I don't want to think about these issues and end up having them being established beliefs or something.

Currently im just ignoring them to the best of my ability, however I still feel them there. I still feel unreal of course and I still fear the idea of getting schizophrenia and believing in solipsism.

I hear people telling others to ignore the thoughts, I hear people telling others to expose yourself to them, I hear people telling other exposure can lead to something worse. I don't know what to do to be honest.

I understand feeling unreal and detached are of course part of the condition and they stem from anxiety. However, I also think you can think about thoughts so much to the point where you believe them and of crazy over them and that's what I want to avoid. I used to very easily examine these things and they gave me little to no anxiety, I paid them no mind. But now that im in this fragile state I feel like my thoughts have a big impact on my mental health and belief system and if I do the wrong thing I could potentially alter myself into something I don't want to become.

TL;DR Im ruminating and greatly fearing existential concepts like solipsism. I fear if I think about solipsism enough ill eventually develop solipsism syndrome and then get schizophrenia. How do i get rid or minimize these thoughts of solipsism and unreality healthily and effectively?

Any help is greatly appreciated and I hope all of you are having a nice day!


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## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

Hello and Welcome. I've also struggled with the same fears and I know how scary it can be, but you can overcome these thoughts just like I did. The secret to getting rid of unwanted / ocd thoughts is to do the opposite of what most people do, resist and push them away. You have to allow them fully and don't resist them at all. This doesn't mean accepting or believing the thoughts, just allowing their precence in you awareness without resistance. It works almost instantly for me at least. All of these existential thoughts come forward because you are in this confused detached state and your brain is trying to figure everything out in order to remove all fears, but that is simply impossible because nobody understands everything about reality. You have to embrace uncertainty and just look at reality and come to conclusions about it from the knowledge you have. Don't get stuck in your mind with all the what ifs and fantasies it comes up with. You will not go crazy! You will be fine  hope this helps a bit


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## Stardvst (Jul 4, 2017)

mind.divided said:


> Hello and Welcome. I've also struggled with the same fears and I know how scary it can be, but you can overcome these thoughts just like I did. The secret to getting rid of unwanted / ocd thoughts is to do the opposite of what most people do, resist and push them away. You have to allow them fully and don't resist them at all. This doesn't mean accepting or believing the thoughts, just allowing their precence in you awareness without resistance. It works almost instantly for me at least. All of these existential thoughts come forward because you are in this confused detached state and your brain is trying to figure everything out in order to remove all fears, but that is simply impossible because nobody understands everything about reality. You have to embrace uncertainty and just look at reality and come to conclusions about it from the knowledge you have. Don't get stuck in your mind with all the what ifs and fantasies it comes up with. You will not go crazy! You will be fine  hope this helps a bit


Thank you so much! That did help quite a bit. I just have to ask how do I accept them? I would be okay allowing them in but how can avoid believing them? For example today I felt terribly derealized and I felt so dream like that the thought of solipsism seemed real as hell. Now I know in hindsight solipsism isn't probably the most logical perspective of reality but it still scares me and it scares me more that I can get so caught up in it ill believe in it. Kind of like that women who killed her land lord because she thought he wasnt real. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Matrix_defense

So anyway I would appreciate some techniques of allowing the thought but not believing it or reacting to it. Nonetheless thank you for your reply!


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## razmith (May 13, 2016)

Hi Stardvst,

Well, I have learnt a new word i.e. 'solipsism' and a brilliant word to describe the horrendous 'relentless ruminations'.

I am 62 years of age now and had my nightmare of DP at 21 years of age. After fighting my way back on my own (as no professional had a clue back then) and in the end I had to work it out myself. Initially, it took 3-5 years to reach a point where I could function and come across 'normal'. I would love to say all is well now but the residual of that night still leaves me with the 'relentless ruminations' and they are utterly and totally self-destroying. Going over, and over, and over, trying to work it all out leaving you senseless and virtually unable to even speak. So I do know what you are going through but now with so much knowledge on DP and the medications that are available really do help.

I refused any meds for a long time but it reached a point about 4 years ago when I was utterly desperate to rid myself of my endless thoughts going around and around and finally agreed to give some meds a go. that I was not going to accept those thoughts anymore. After some trial and error, I am now taking Seroqual when needed. It has saved me. The endless thoughts stop immediately alas! so do you, as it leaves you unable to do much else. But I am happy to pay the price and just tell myself 'Im having a day.'

But in saying all of that I am in my 60's and no longer out to conquer the world and not working and in fact now on a Pension so accepting I do need medication is a lot to do with my age maybe. Though throughout the years when I did work, some days I just could not make it and would then make myself feel even worse as I felt such a failure. But then 'mental health days' came into the equation and that helped me a lot. ALL of us have those type of days in varying degrees - but with DP or 'solipisim' (I like that word) it ranks high on the list. Probably the top.

Just know you are understood and certainly not alone.

Razmith


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

I was having so many existence thoughts 24/7 and would send me into a detachment panic all the time. The. Rain wouldn't shut up about it. I was with those thoughts for 3 months. Finally on the 4th month they started to slow down. I don't know if it was because I finally started sleeping ( spent 9 weeks without sleeping when this hell started) or maybe the amitriptyline I take before bed is helping. Whatever the case is, those suck but hang in there because they will fade


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## mind.divided (Jul 2, 2015)

Stardvst said:


> Thank you so much! That did help quite a bit. I just have to ask how do I accept them? I would be okay allowing them in but how can avoid believing them? For example today I felt terribly derealized and I felt so dream like that the thought of solipsism seemed real as hell. Now I know in hindsight solipsism isn't probably the most logical perspective of reality but it still scares me and it scares me more that I can get so caught up in it ill believe in it. Kind of like that women who killed her land lord because she thought he wasnt real. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Matrix_defense
> So anyway I would appreciate some techniques of allowing the thought but not believing it or reacting to it. Nonetheless thank you for your reply!


 just tell yourself things like " I'm not afraid of this thought and I allow you fully to be here with me. I don't care anymore" and let go of all resistance. It's also pointless to be afraid of solipsism because you can't know for sure. You can't prove solipsism is wrong but at the same time you can't prove is correct either. Just look around - are you the only human on this planet? No. Why would you be special? It makes no sense at all, so until you find proof for solipsism you can know for sure it's complete bulshit.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

What about if you have no thoughts, guys?


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## Stardvst (Jul 4, 2017)

mezona said:


> What about if you have no thoughts, guys?


Could you elaborate?


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

I am struggling so hard with these thoughts!! I keep hoping my meds will help calm me down but it's so hard when you feel so detached and in the 10th circle of hell, it's ridiculous . I pray each and every one of us get the help me need


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

I had to look up solipsism to get an understanding of the concept. Philosophy has never troubled me. When I was in grade school, my IQ was assessed at 147. I aced 4 levels of college calculus, but philosophical concepts have always evaded me. I grew up with 3 brothers. We all played in the dirt. I learned about the physical reality and the pain and pleasure it could bestow on me.

I don't have a problem answering the question as to whether a falling tree in a forest makes a sound if there is no one there to hear it. Also, if I forget to plug in my lamp, turning the switch on does not give me light. Pain is very instructive in teaching a living organism how to relate to its environment. Make sure you have some real

physical pain from which to learn about life. Thereafter, avoid the pain and seek the pleasure. Life is really pretty simple.


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