# Going to go back to normal



## Fearthainn (Feb 19, 2009)

I am thankful for this forum, although I haven't posted a lot here I still remember that, when I first went through DP/DR a few years ago, reading the posts here was amazing. So many people feeling exactly like me! Fast forward a few years and I'm back to DP/DR and also find myself back here. Once again, it's a great relief knowing I'm not crazy yet and sharing experiences with other people going through the same. It's very reassuring.

However, reassurance only does so much for you. It's great at first, but it makes you feel comfortable where you are - for a while at least. It's not the greatest motivator to go out there and face your fears, and I sure have a lot of them.

So, much like I did when I managed to overcome this in 2009, I'm going to say a big fuck you to this hell and try to avoid this forum (and googling) like the plague.

I still don't know what this life is all about, or if there is any point to it, such is the absurdity of it all. I don't even know why I struggle so much to be happy and free as my mind seems to be trying everything to prevent it. But I'm going to tell my mind to piss off on this one and let me live the only life I have, real or not.

Good luck everyone!


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Fearthainn said:


> I am thankful for this forum, although I haven't posted a lot here I still remember that, when I first went through DP/DR a few years ago, reading the posts here was amazing. So many people feeling exactly like me! Fast forward a few years and I'm back to DP/DR and also find myself back here. Once again, it's a great relief knowing I'm not crazy yet and sharing experiences with other people going through the same. It's very reassuring.
> 
> However, reassurance only does so much for you. It's great at first, but it makes you feel comfortable where you are - for a while at least. It's not the greatest motivator to go out there and face your fears, and I sure have a lot of them.
> 
> ...


It is an essential step in my opinion to join the forum and be able to relate to other people, and see that you're not alone in this, however you're absolutely right, if you really want to get rid of the bad thoughts and the negativity that consumes you, avoiding the forum is required.

I still visit the forum daily but it doesn't affect me at all, actually, I couldn't be happier with my life! I've made tons of progress these last weeks, anyways mate, boa sorte!


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

do you mind if i ask what caused your dp the first time and how long it took you to get over it? and i agree, this website can be very helpful. but it has its down sides too. i would love to talk to you! i have had dp/dr now for 4 months. but i wish you another complete recovery (was your first one compltely, like back to "old you"?) sorry so many questions! best of luck!


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## Fearthainn (Feb 19, 2009)

I'm glad the Olympics are on, I managed to distract myself watching them the whole day









PositiveThinking thanks mate! If coming here everyday doesn't affect you, excellent; you're able to share your experiences and help others! From reading your posts I'm pretty sure you'll be 100% sooner rather than later, you have the right attitude.

Kaitlyn, my first encounter with DP was after a night smoking Salvia. It wasn't instant; I had a huge panic attack that night (my first ever), thought I was going to die etc. My anxiety was severe over the following days and eventually triggered the DP/DR feelings. I took a while to recover, it lasted from February - June more or less. But when I finally got over it, it was completely gone and I was 100% back to my normal self. Even better than my normal self actually, as facing some questions left me feeling more confident and feeling like I really want to live this life. I was relatively shy in my teenage years and became much more sociable after this. So in a way it was almost like a positive experience!

Feel free to post here / pm me if you want, I'll still check occasionally.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Fearthainn said:


> PositiveThinking thanks mate! If coming here everyday doesn't affect you, excellent; you're able to share your experiences and help others! From reading your posts I'm pretty sure you'll be 100% sooner rather than later, you have the right attitude.


No problem, and I hope so!


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

thank you for the reply! and im also very glad the olympics are on too! i have had it for 4 months and mine was caused from i believe marijuana, but im really starting to feel better! i hope you can come out of this as fast as you did the first time!


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## shattered memories (Jul 19, 2012)

> I still don't know what this life is all about, or if there is any point to it, such is the absurdity of it all. I don't even know why I struggle so much to be happy and free as my mind seems to be trying everything to prevent it. But I'm going to tell my mind to piss off on this one and let me live the only life I have, real or not.


I LOVE this part. I want to say fuck it too, but unlike most here Im not sure my DP is purely psychological. I want to get blood tests/mris done but I just graduated college (at least I can say Im lucky this didnt happen during uni) and dont have a job nor insurance.

I really dont want to ask my parents for thousands of dollars for medical tests. They have their own families to worry about. I really dont know what to do but hope that I dont have something wrong with my brain. If I KNOW my health is clean i think I would have so much better time coping with my DP symtoms.

Sorry I didnt really intend to make a post about me but I just wish I could have the same amount of hope you do.


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## Fearthainn (Feb 19, 2009)

Hi guys, feeling stronger and just coming back here to tell you it does get better. Not going to lie, I had some terrible days after I started this topic. I was at an all time low. I guess being the 2nd time I suffer from DP makes it harder. You have more fears. You start thinking you may have to face this forever and that there is no hope of ever being completely free from anxiety and a depressive outlook on life.

However a few days ago I couldn't take it anymore and finally told my wife about my internal struggles. She was understanding and I felt better. Later that day my daughter was sitting next to me reading a book. I felt so calm and so good. I could think even about all the existential questions that we all ask ourselves in this state, and my own answers just came naturally. It didn't scare me.

I realised I had to do something before the DP came back and started questioning my feelings again, so I went and wrote on a piece of paper: RIGHT NOW I AM FEELING CALM AND GOOD. WHEN I AM LIKE THIS, EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. THAT IS WHY I MUST STRIVE FOR IT!

Yep, that's all. Pretty cheesy I guess. However, it was ME who wrote it. It was around a week ago. Since then, whenever I want to give in to my thoughts and to my mind, I remember of the paper and it gives me strength. Slowly getting back to normal.

Good luck everyone!


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## Fearthainn (Feb 19, 2009)

Oh meanwhile we got the news that my wife was offered a position at the university of Liverpool so we'll be moving there. I am quite excited about it. Currently living in Sofia, Bulgaria (been here for the past 3 years). I guess being so far away from home (I am Portuguese) also contributed to my growing anxiety lately. At least Liverpool is a bit closer so things are looking up!


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