# Aware of being aware



## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

I think I am slowly coming out of the hellish DR, but I have still got DP. I'm so overly aware of being aware.

Everything seems too real, too bright. It feels so odd to me that I'm this perpetually conscious being, who lives behind two eyes and views the world from a body that I unconciously control.

I know this gets into obsessive thoughts territory, but it feels really weird all the same.

Anyone relate????


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## lil P nut (May 7, 2011)

yes i obsessed like this for soooooooooo long. it suckkssss, stick in there though.


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## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

Yes,I can relate.


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## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

Micah said:


> yes i obsessed like this for soooooooooo long. it suckkssss, stick in there though.


It's awful aye! I think distraction is the best thing. 
It's so hard to rationalize your own existence, and thinking like that drives me nuts. 
It made me panic really badly for ages, but my meds seem to have stopped that, thank god!
Hope you start feeling better soon x


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## Tommyboy (Jul 20, 2011)

I do the same thing and I think mine is more an OCD thing. It's like thinking about thinking or being constantly aware of my own existence. Even when I played basketball it was like watching myself play and I was still stuck in my head, I don't really know what "normal" thinking is anymore!I think I read too much philosophy and books about conciousness and free will and have got myself into a permanent mindfuck. Hope it gets better for you.


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## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

Yeah I know, its totally fucked. Just have to take one day at a time, this too will pass xx


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## TheKing32 (Jul 5, 2011)

Hello Folks.. Ive had something like DP since April 25, 2011.. It was super bad then because I couldnt find anything about it...my problem is just hyperawareness and negative thinking.. I think i've gotten better in the last few weeks.. But i keep bringing myself down.. Im aware of my thinking, movenent, and talking.. No other real physical symptoms!! Just weird!! Makes me anxious..


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## Chelsea (Aug 10, 2011)

Feel exactly the same, too aware of myself. Don't believe that I'm the person behind these eyes and can't understand what's happening to me. And how I can control my body... like I can lift my arm without thinking how I'll lift it and feeling that I actually have lifted it, in my brain. It just got up cause I lifted it. And that's all.


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## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

It's the weirdest thing aye. Like all of a sudden you become aware of how completely odd and scary it is to inhabit a body and have a consciousness. 
I'm sure that in time it will stop seeming so odd, but at the moment it's super intense. And it leads me to think other stuff, like how weird it is to be on a planet floating in space.
No wonder people distract themselves with superficial shit. Being aware of the true oddness of existence is too much to bear.
In some ways it seems like the only authentic way to exist. Everything else just seems like lies and artiface.


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## Whitehazel (Jun 14, 2011)

I know this post is old but wow it explains exactly how i feel!! I couldn't explain it in words but being aware of being aware is perfect.

God this is hell!!! And the worst part is that you can't just take a break, you are aware and conscious always... Sigh.

Jojo did you get over this?


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## Brendon (May 26, 2012)

I think allmost everyone with DP can relate to this ;p


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## PDubya86 (Jul 17, 2010)

Agreed! Glad I stumbled across this thread - it sums up how I've been feeling for the last 3 years!!


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## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

Hey guys. Since I posted this I have managed to find a way of dealing with this. They things that have helped are:

Leaving a job I hated
Telling myself that this is just a thought, it won't hurt me
Taking magnesium and flax seed oil supplements
Increasing my dose of Paxil
Distracting myself with stuff I enjoy
Hanging out with children and animals

I cant say I am 100 per cent better, but I have got to the stage where I can live with it. I think that is the best I can hope for at this stage!

Sending my love to all you who are wrestling with this horrible condition.

Please PM me if you need any support

Xx


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## Whitehazel (Jun 14, 2011)

Thanks so much for your advise Jojo. I will try these things. Funny you mention your job! I am currently in a job I absolutely hate and it is a very high stress job... I am currently tryin to find a new one. It will be interesting to see if it helps.

Right now I just feel really hopeless. But I can't really put my finger on what's wrong. I feel wrong and scared... But I'm not sure what of? Does that make sense?


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## jojo72 (Jul 12, 2011)

It makes so much sense! It's like existence itself is so weird and impossible to understand that 'normality' is no longer achievable.

I do this thing where I try to explore the parameters of my consciousness; which is a total mindfuck. I think ignoring it, though it sounds trite, is the only way I've got ahead. It can be nigh on impossible, but it does help.

Stress in any way will make matters worse. I now work for myself, which is hard in a different way, but better than dealing with shitty bosses!

Hope you can find a way through, and as I said, message me any time you need x


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