# derealization feeling like i am gonna go blind



## Guest (Feb 19, 2005)

i am so sick of this i swear. i feel like any minute i am gonna go blind or something....when my dr gets really bad, everything looks really dark and kinda like i need to wipe y eyes, but they never get clear...thsi is really hard to deal with...is there anything that lessens it? or has anyone felt like this?

Robbie


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## [rula] (Jan 16, 2005)

hey robbie, this has been my worst and most hated symtpom from day one. things look dark, mostly indoors, and a bit flat 2-d like. on some days it doesn't bother me much, but for the past 2 days it's been really bad and i'm not sure why it got worse.

I'm reading a book "healing anxiety and depression" by dr. Amen from the Amen clinic, the one that does all the SPECT scans. it's listed as a symptom for people with temporal lobe anxiety. He says the best way to cure that type of anxiety is through anitconvulsants, like lamictal. i'm gonna ask my psych about that next week. let ya know i find anything useful.

-rula


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Awesome Rula...I told you this guy knows his stuff. I hope his books start helping you make sense of your symptoms. This is the most forward-thinking psychiatrist I have ever met, and I think that his approach will be standard practice by mid to late 21st century. It would be really awesome to see someone else get well through his approach. Really cool stuff....

Peace
Homeskooled


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## jft (Jan 10, 2005)

I jsut spent the last hour at Barnes and Noble reading that book Rula. Did not give me any goosebumps. But when Dr. Amen comes out on the national news and 20/20 amd 60 minutes heralds anticonvulsants and spect imagery as the cure all for us, I will be the first to say mea culpla. I am so gun shy of any claims right now and apprehensive of looking at new frontiers for I have been there and done that a thousand times. I will perk up when finally someone says "this is it!" I am not trying to be negative here. I am jsut tired. You guys will have to fight the fight. Just send me a telegram when the good news arrives. And I think it will, from where is up for debate.
jft


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## [rula] (Jan 16, 2005)

JFT, 
I'm FAR from getting goosebumps myself, I was simply telling robbie that this particular symptom is common in TL anxiety.

I've read almost the whole book now, and it's not very comforting knowing that I have symptoms from almost all 7 types of anxiety/depression, which is common according to Dr. Amen. Ok, great, but with TL anxiety you're supposed to avoid serotogenic meds, yet I have symptoms from the other types that clearly need some serotonin intevention. ??? besides, i've been taking Klonopin for a few months now, and it IS an anticonvulsant, and been taking most if not all the supplememts he recommends, so how come my temporal lobe symtpoms remain the same? homeskooled ^_^ ? klonopin not strong enough? maybe I'll email the Amen clinic, see if I can get an answer. frustrated!!! thanks for listening guys.

-ru


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Rula, 
Klonopin just isnt a very good anticonvulsant Rula. Neuroligists just dont use it anymore. If you look on his table of medicines, you arent going to find Klonopin on a list of anticonvulsants he uses for people with temporal lobe problems. You will find Neurontin, Lamictal, and Tegretol. If you have a need for sertogenic agents, he recommends using the anticonvulsants first to stabilize the temporal lobe, and then adding an SSRI (except for prozac, which he doesnt recommend for people with temporal issues) after a couple months. And the supplements will help, but if you have hardcore symptoms, you need hardcore meds. Dont email them- they cant give you any advice for legal reasons unless you see them in person first. Given your circumstances, you may just want to size up your symptoms and ask the doctor you have now for the meds which will help the most. The worst that can happen will be that your symptoms will remain the same.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Guest (Feb 20, 2005)

Hi

Homeskooled,

Since Lamictal I can't take it, I will try another anti-epileptic (I think), with anafranil. Can Neurontin go with anafranil?

C xxx


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Sure, Neurontin can be used with it. It has a really low side effect profile and is good for anxiety. A little weak, but still good. Your psych wont let you stay on the Lamictal at 25 for a week or two?

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Guest (Feb 20, 2005)

I can't take the Lamictal!!! I makes me sick! :roll:

Very sick. I din't want to feel this way anymore.

So I may ask for something else

C xxx


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## jft (Jan 10, 2005)

Two apologies here. One to Robbie for sort of sidelining his thread. And one to Homeskooled for putting my blinders on and not being more accepting of good information. I realize that you have been helped a great deal by Amen and respect him and I know of your bent toward that school of thought. You seem to really know your stuff (are you in grad school?) and it was not my intention to diss you or Amen or anybody trying desperately to help folks like us.

When I wrote that short post to Rula I had jsut reviewed my dp journey by reading my old notes and journals, the med records I have, my bills paid out and then took a gander at my overflowing self help and textbook library. What a long road it has been. Tried everthing possible at the time when I was very active in this search. I mean I started this thing out with thorazine if you can beleive it. I found the bible of Dilantin (remember that push years ago?) amongst copies of books espousing all the remedies in the world and I tried half of them.
I say I am gun shy becasue I am still here suffering after all the attempts. But when it comes to anticonvulsants I get real nervous becasue i have been around epileptics my whole life My roommate in college was one, as well as my best friend after college. I jsut remember what their meds did to them, albeit they were heavily dosed. The last shrink I went to two years ago saw my list from day one to present (antipsychotics,minor tranquilizers, TCAs, most ssri's,benzoes, busperal, mega vitamin therapy etc) and then said well, lets try another, so came the celexa. Four months later it was an atypical antipsychotic which killed me. Then came the thread that broke my back, for he said lets go into the anticonvulsants. And that is when I quit him.

And that is why my post seemed negative, and I am sorry for that. I am open minded to anything. I just may have an ignorant fear of anticonvulants and doing drugs in general in a "crap shoot" fashion. Pharmacology today really is in a stage that Dr. McCoy on Star Trek called "barbaric", using drugs whose workings are not fully understood and are prescribed for uses other than manufacturers initial targets. If tle people are right, then anticonvulsants are right but then you get the arguements against that school and one like me doubts. I am not smart enough to get into this, so I will shut up. I jsut don't have it in me anymore to go where no man has gone before, thats all.
Keep up the good work, becasue it is indeed good work. I truly respect yours and others efforts.
jft


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## [rula] (Jan 16, 2005)

Thanks Homeskooled, I do remember (now) reading the part in the book where he says Temporal Lobe Anxiety would be addressed first if symptoms overlap multiple types. besides, lamictal is supposed to have antidepressant qualities as well. I guess I was whining and feeling frustrated cuz I'd just read on the Amen's clinic forum about some guy who paid for the SPECT, followed the treatment, and wasn't at all helped.

JFT, the doses of anticonvulsants given to no-epileptics are much lower than for epileptics, so perhaps the side effects won't be as bad. For me personally the journey hasn't been that long (5-6 months), and all I've tried so far is Benzos and supplements (i'm meds phobic!) besides my doctor mentioned to me from day one that some of my symptoms seemed related to epilepsy (TV/blinking lights bother a lot!) so i'm willing to give this a try.

Cynthia, from everything I read so far Lamictal should be the best choice for us cuz it doesn't cause any memoy loss that's typical of the other anti-convulsants. try and stick to it if you can handle it. i'll be with you soon. :wink:

Robbie, sorry for hijacking your thread.

-rula


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## coco33 (Feb 18, 2005)

Effexor XL has worked wonders for me. I know some people are against it because of the withdrawal symptoms but it really helps and withdrawal isnt so bad if you withdraw very and i mean very slowly.


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## Homeskooled (Aug 10, 2004)

Dear Rula and jft, 
Dont worry about it guys. I dont take criticisms on here personally. Everybody has a right to their opinions about topics which are still up for debate. If I'm right, then I'm helping people out, and if I'm wrong, then I should change my views. Discussion is a really healthy thing. If I become a doctor, I have to listen to what my patients are saying and not let my ego get in the way, even if their experiences clash with my "theories". Its not about being right, its about making a difference for the better in people's lives.

Cynthia, please, please try to stay on the Lamictal. You've said before that you are a bit of a hypochondriac - PLEASE dont read all of your odd bodily sensations as being caused by the Lamictal. I'm almost positive that your heart was racing on the Anafranil because you were afraid of having a heart attack. Dont do this to yourself - stay on ONE med for a long, long period of time, and help your DP and DR go away. You dont want to be coming to this site forever with the same problems and posts. You are educated enough in meds....almost too educated. Make a decision and stick with one. You KNOW that this is the right thing to do, Cynthia. You can do it - I have faith in you.

Peace
Homeskooled


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## Guest (Feb 21, 2005)

Yeah but I throw up and I am sick at bed, and I can't take care of my son!  That is the problem. I don't know, I don't want to feel physically sick on top of that! That is why I thought of Neurontin.

Anyway, Do you think Anafranil could give me a hand? I am sick and tired of Paxil. Then..... i'll see with the Lamictal thing..... but for now I am so afraid to be sick again.... this was hell. And I was feeling so bad. Like, in panic. This wasn't calming me.

Cynthia (Paxil 10 mg now).

(thanks Rula too for the post).


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## shadowness (Sep 12, 2004)

i think the whole blind feeling is due to not being able to feel 'attached' or connected to what you are seeing and so have that feeling of somehow not seeing...if you know what i mean...

this has been the most awkward thing for me recently...

i am getting awful pains in my head...looking around and realizing just how detached i feel from it all...as if everything is just in my head...

i look at my feet and hands and they just look like part of a background...so i just feel like i am a blind pair of eyes! :shock:

not nice...

not nice at all...


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## falling_free (Nov 3, 2004)

I had a period long long long ago where I thought I was going to go blind, when i was at the most anxious time ever, so when I was expereincing major anxiety due to exsessive cannbiss use my eyes started hurting feeling weird (anxiety) and I was thinking oh no my eyes hurt I must be going blind !! ahhh ahhh panic panic.

I find that finding ways to releive anxiety helps with this uncofartable feeling, or (personelly i find) maintaining a sensible sleeping pattern (i am bad at this but getting better.


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## Guest (Aug 29, 2005)

I think i have TLE does tegratol work? i used to use it when i was young but now im on clonidine for epilepsy but now im feelin feelings of dp and dr so im going to the doctor to see its its TLE so yea what works to cure it? and dr and dp r symptoms of TLE right?


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