# Disturbing Setback



## fighter (May 22, 2012)

Reading everyone's stories and words of advice on here has really helped me cope with this strange condition. I have been dealing with this detachment for over a year now and learned to accept it for what it is. Yeah, I agree with those that say accepting it really doesn't make it go away, but it does give me a little control/dignity, almost like the concept "kill your enemies with kindness- instead of feeding their anger and mean-spirited energy with a reaction."

With the support of my husband and you wonderful people, I have realized that I can defeat this thing. However, here lately, I really don't know what is going on. I am still dealing with the emotional numbness from a traumatic event, which is disturbing in itself, but for the last week I have been waking up with this awful empty feeling that is almost suffocating, if that makes any sense. I have had panic attacks before, this is not one of those. It literally feels like I can't breathe, like there is a huge gaping hole in my chest. I try to distract myself, which works for a few minutes, but it lasts for most of the morning and gets better later in the day. I wish i could explain this better. I just feel like this is a setback for me and I don't understand it. If anyone can relate or has advice, I would appreciate it.


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## wellsiee (Jun 25, 2009)

fighter said:


> Reading everyone's stories and words of advice on here has really helped me cope with this strange condition. I have been dealing with this detachment for over a year now and learned to accept it for what it is. Yeah, I agree with those that say accepting it really doesn't make it go away, but it does give me a little control/dignity, almost like the concept "kill your enemies with kindness- instead of feeding their anger and mean-spirited energy with a reaction."
> 
> With the support of my husband and you wonderful people, I have realized that I can defeat this thing. However, here lately, I really don't know what is going on. I am still dealing with the emotional numbness from a traumatic event, which is disturbing in itself, but for the last week I have been waking up with this awful empty feeling that is almost suffocating, if that makes any sense. I have had panic attacks before, this is not one of those. It literally feels like I can't breathe, like there is a huge gaping hole in my chest. I try to distract myself, which works for a few minutes, but it lasts for most of the morning and gets better later in the day. I wish i could explain this better. I just feel like this is a setback for me and I don't understand it. If anyone can relate or has advice, I would appreciate it.


good for you for taking control and accepting it!








as far as your empty feeling, and feeling like you can't breathe.. i'm sure that is some sort of anxiety. it's probably just an extreme panic attack, maybe the ones you've had before were mild panic attacks. I'm not sure.. that's just my opinion. have you discussed this with your doctor at all?
hope you get better!!


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## My storm ran out of rain (Feb 6, 2012)

fighter said:


> Reading everyone's stories and words of advice on here has really helped me cope with this strange condition. I have been dealing with this detachment for over a year now and learned to accept it for what it is. Yeah, I agree with those that say accepting it really doesn't make it go away, but it does give me a little control/dignity, almost like the concept "kill your enemies with kindness- instead of feeding their anger and mean-spirited energy with a reaction."
> 
> With the support of my husband and you wonderful people, I have realized that I can defeat this thing. However, here lately, I really don't know what is going on. I am still dealing with the emotional numbness from a traumatic event, which is disturbing in itself, but for the last week I have been waking up with this awful empty feeling that is almost suffocating, if that makes any sense. I have had panic attacks before, this is not one of those. It literally feels like I can't breathe, like there is a huge gaping hole in my chest. I try to distract myself, which works for a few minutes, but it lasts for most of the morning and gets better later in the day. I wish i could explain this better. I just feel like this is a setback for me and I don't understand it. If anyone can relate or has advice, I would appreciate it.


I understand what your talking about completely. I am experiencing a setback of my own at the moment. I have been almost recovered several times and then have setbacks. And a person has to understand that that is just what they are "a setback". I am day 5 of my setback now and it lets up later in the day as you stated. Not sure what caused the setback, maybe a touch of the stomach flu, but whatever it is, I realize that it will get better just as it has before. Just make sure that you continue with what you were doing before the setback and definitly try to surround yourself with people that you can interact with easily. People you can feel like yourself around. I work alone a lot of days and notice that when I get home to my family and start interacting with my daughter and wife, that I barely seem to notice my setback, and then eventually you realize one day that you feel "ok" again and seem to be back on track. This is a hell of a battle, longer lasting for some than others, but it can be beat. Just dont let the setbacks get you down to where it's even harder to get back up. It all comes back to acceptance. Just accept that you're having a minor setback, dont overwhelm yourself with asking why you are having this setback, and just roll with the punches. Setbacks are a part of recovery and are a sign of recovery, because if you couldn't notice that you are having a setback, then you wouldn't notice that you have made improvement before the setback.







Hope it gets better quick!


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## fighter (May 22, 2012)

Thank you both for the kind responses. Wellsiee-- I haven't seen a doctor about this since last year because every one of them immediately went to the prescription pad instead of making eye contact with me. I have not had any therapy, which I admit is neglectful on my part, but I will look into it. I feel better today and I know that all of us going through this will be stronger once these strange feelings and perceptions subside. Sometimes, I think this "thing" is a curse, but then I realize we have seen and experienced something the average person knows nothing of. It's amazing how subjective reality is.

I feel like I am telling a forbidden, unknown secret to my husband when I talk about unreality. Through my experience, he has learned how much people take for granted and sees things in a different light. Thankfully, he is nonjudgmental towards me and listens to the details, however weird they may sound.


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