# My daughter...



## cassiesmom (Nov 7, 2007)

I've been reading some of your posts this morning and thought it might be worth becoming a member to get the input of this group.

DP was suggested to me recently by a therapist in regard to my 12 year old daughter . She has ADHD, depression and anxiety and just recently began meds. For maybe 2 years or more she has been telling me she 'doesn't feel real', feels 'like a ghost', 'like I'm not here', etc.. Yesterday we were shoe shopping and she was having a particularly hard time. She said she felt that if someone killed her or if she somehow died right then, 'it's like it wouldn't hurt.' Up until now, I've always sort of thought these statements were strange, but have not paid them a great deal of attention. Hearing her say that yesterday, for some reason, particularly bothered me and I started reading. What I read fits her to a tee. I'm wary of self-diagnosis, so I plan to pursue this more with professionals, but I'm devastated for her and can't begin to imagine how she...and you all...feel. I'm immeasurably sad to think there's little that can be done. Hopefully recognition is a first step. I'm disappointed in myself as her mom to think she has been experiencing something so scary and I haven't validated it. I just don't know what else this poor kid can take.


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## Anla (May 1, 2007)

And it makes me wonder how many of our sped students are dealing with this anyhow.

I am a sped teacher, hs, in VA. A hostile and uncaring school system messed my mind up, even forced me to teach emotionally disturbed students in spite of everything. I had a "normal mind" for 48 years, and I cannot imagine how it would be to grow up with dp/dr.

Mom, I think you might want to purchase and read the book by the 2 experts, FEELING UNREAL. It will probably help you have good discussions with your daughter. Also you may want to get a copy to give to her therapist to read.

The good news for me is that even tho my positive emotions don't work anymore, aside from distraction, my cognitive is ok. And to deal with the distractions, I read and talk aloud when I have something I must deal with. (Which, teaching sped students, is constant).

Are you in the US? Where?

Let me know if you think I could be of any direct help to you and your daughter.

Anla


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## cassiesmom (Nov 7, 2007)

My daughter is in special ed for a learning disability. Yes, I'll get the book, several in the group seem to recommend it. Thanks for your offer of help. I'm in Michigan.


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## phantomfrigidere (Nov 16, 2007)

cassiesmom said:


> My daughter is in special ed for a learning disability. Yes, I'll get the book, several in the group seem to recommend it. Thanks for your offer of help. I'm in Michigan.


Its good that you are finding it out early. I am 21 and self diagnosed, so far (which i am wary about, still in the stage of convincing myself to go seek a professional). My brother is also in sped for his learning disabilities.

One of the things that bothers me quite greatly, even may have lead to how i feel now is the fact that he hasn't quite realized, or is in the process of realizing that he wont be able to participate in society like the rest of us, i.e. probably wont be able to drive or live on his own. The idea of him realizing this crushes me. So, i've got a little bit from both ends of the spectrum.

It has always been quite hard for me to have open communication about emotions to anyone, my family in particular. Its not necessarily by choice either, whenever I was/am asked if something is wrong, my mind goes blank, but I can tell you that open communication is something that I long for and trying to reach.

This has most definately impacted my relationship with my brother in a negative way because I am his idol (i've been told this, and see it in his eyes), but it is incredibly hard to hold a conversation.

So, i think i can say this:

Keep a close relationship, (when possible, it's something that keeps my mind connected with reality) and if your daughter is openly talking to you, don't be afraid, even if the ideas she says are frightening, it is a great sign of the trust she has in you and that is quite important, as you already know. Physical contact, even as simple as a hug, is also something that helps me stay grounded.

And of coarse, learn all you can, but that goes without saying.

I hope all goes well, and i hope this helped.


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