# A complete change in perspective



## CompletelyConfused1987 (Jul 22, 2016)

Hello,

So, I want to share a little of my recent personal experiences with therapy. I have never been a big fan if I am honest and a big portion of that is I have done a splendid job of disconnecting from my emotions and feelings, so who in their right mind wants to talk about those? But I reached the point where I honestly thought I was unfixable, because my focus has been on finding a cure, but then I woke up one day and it was a real lightbulb moment, what if I can only manage how I feel? What if the whole point of my life is to live it how is best for myself and to not struggle every day with fitting in to other peoples normal? And what if that attitude is okay?

And then came DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) which is completely different to anything I have tried before, but quite obviously the little bits of the jigsaw puzzle I have been missing.

The key message I have taken from the skills group I have recently been attending is that we are all different, and that is okay, so there is no one right way to do things. I can learn to reconnect to and balance my emotions, improve my relationships, manage difficult situations because they are a part of life, accept myself and life as it is and connect with the present moment, but it is more than likely going to be a daily struggle. Those skills take practise and I am fighting with my own stigma (as well as others) with the fact I should have done this already, but then again anything that involves growth and improvement takes hard work and persistence, but it will most likely be worth the effort in the end, and I shouldn't feel guilty or frustrated that it doesn't happen all at once, I add to my problems by increasing the suffering I feel about the situation.

So my new approach in a nutshell is acceptance, rather than striving for change or waiting for a diagnosis for validation (my current therapist who is running the group agrees I have traits of the disorder but is not qualified in diagnosis). I am going to build myself a life worth living, one that I find personal happiness, purpose and contentment in, because only then will I find true peace, and I am going to do my best to let go of all negative and unhelpful thoughts, behaviours, attitudes and circumstances and live in and enjoy the present moment (mindfulness).

I am not claiming this will work for everyone. Hell I am not even claiming it will work for me, but right now there are certain aspects of the practises that have proved helpful and effective so I am willing to persevere with this in the hopes I find a path right for me and I can start to feel a little bit better, because I can't continue how I am and find myself, peace and happiness.

I hope this is helpful or at least thought provoking.

And for the record I wouldn't discount an earlier post I read about pets helping. My German Shepherd has taught me lots since we got her. In fact I would say me and my mum are now well trained :0).

All the best.

CompletelyConfused1987


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## Newchie97 (Sep 11, 2016)

Amazing man! I've also had a recent change in perspective. I was talking to my therapist and she told me about an old client she had who had a neurological degenerative disease where she will eventually lose the ability to use her legs,arms,mouth, ect. The worst part is there is no core and no treatment whatsoever. When my therapist asked what meds she was on, the girl handed her 2 pages worth of medications. It really put me in place a bit because this disorder, although there is no cure, is clearly beatable and anyone who says otherwise is full of it. There are thousands of posts on this website alone of people getting better. Yet there isnt a single person who has recovered from that neruolgoical degenerative disorder. It actually made me feel kinda silly, the thing i complain about the most is my vision and how much it bothers me from time to time, but i couldnt imagine havig that disease and i would gladly take my distorted vision over that any day. The craziest part is that apparently her client went to my highschool too, but she wouldnt tell me her name for obvious reasons. Overall, it just made me realize that there are worse things out there than dp/dr.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Newchie97 said:


> Amazing man! I've also had a recent change in perspective. I was talking to my therapist and she told me about an old client she had who had a neurological degenerative disease where she will eventually lose the ability to use her legs,arms,mouth, ect. The worst part is there is no core and no treatment whatsoever. When my therapist asked what meds she was on, the girl handed her 2 pages worth of medications. It really put me in place a bit because this disorder, although there is no cure, is clearly beatable and anyone who says otherwise is full of it. There are thousands of posts on this website alone of people getting better. Yet there isnt a single person who has recovered from that neruolgoical degenerative disorder. It actually made me feel kinda silly, the thing i complain about the most is my vision and how much it bothers me from time to time, but i couldnt imagine havig that disease and i would gladly take my distorted vision over that any day. The craziest part is that apparently her client went to my highschool too, but she wouldnt tell me her name for obvious reasons. Overall, it just made me realize that there are worse things out there than dp/dr.


That actually made me feel silly too. Time to beat this thing once and for all!


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## Newchie97 (Sep 11, 2016)

Pondererer said:


> That actually made me feel silly too. Time to beat this thing once and for all!


 Lets do it dude. Never think it isnt possible.


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