# Does anyone not even notice it?



## Fatoush (Jan 15, 2016)

Hello people, honestly I don't even notice my dp dr anymore but I do know something is wrong. Like I know I'm still out of touch with reality but I just can't put my finger on it. I can't even pretend to act normal anymore. Its really hard .


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## TimMis (Mar 21, 2016)

If you where going from "everything seems unfamiliar" to "can't put a finger on it", it is going the good way, right?


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## frenchguy (Mar 20, 2016)

same i think i can't "feel" the depersonalization anymore for quiet some month now, like i don't feel like things are unreal but i know and can feel in my body that i'm completely disconnected. Also the fact that i have no emotion still show me my disconnection. I feel like i'm progressivly losing all of my body appropriation, shit it's been terrible lately.


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## TimMis (Mar 21, 2016)

Anyway is this a recovery story?


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## Guest (Apr 6, 2016)

I don't mean to be annoying or come off as a jerk, but shouldn't you just be grateful for feeling how you feel? You're feeding into DP and negative anxious thoughts by coming on here and making posts like this. Its going to be a while before you feel 100% better, but I guarantee coming on here isn't going to help.


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## vanuti vetru (Sep 7, 2015)

I sometimes feel this way and, from what i've read here, it's a pretty common stage for the "evolving" variant of DP. No detached sensation anymore but a distinct feeling of the reality being twisted or broken in some way. It appears to be a post-traumatic symptom and a matter of mind needing time to regain the once lost sense of normalcy and security. I think you're on a good way.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Fatoush you have in my opinion lost your fear of your DP symptoms (An important step on the recovery road)....This in my experience begins to happen after a period of time suffering from DP (in my case a number of years) This is just my personal experience but gradually as time went on the symptoms which were once terrifying became less and less frightening even though they were still there in the background....Its almost like you become desensitized to them even though you still experience them...

For me after time went by I started to realise that the symptoms didnt lead me to losing my mind and in a way I developed for want of a better word a"fuckit" attitude towards them......Its kind of like when something persistently bugs you over and over for an extended period of time (i duno like say a dog constantly begging for food) Eventually you just learn to ignore it because you begin to realise that the dog is not gonna starve to death or die if you dont feed it every time it begs....What happens then is the dog stops begging!

LOL maybe ive discovered the solution to DP (Just dont give a fuck about it) Much easier said than done though.....Even though i dont fear my DP symptoms anywhere as near as i used to the damn things still havent dissappeared completely and at times can come right back at me in their ugliest form just to remind me that it hasnt gone away.....

Moral of the story! DP is pretty damn persistent and determined and can creep back in even during your happiest healthiest periods....AVOID STRESS! to keep it at bay...Thats my advice....And be really good and kind to yourself! Do more of the things you enjoy and less of the things that drag you down! Lifes too short....Work less/Play more! And again AVOID STRESS! Its DPs best friend!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I notice it


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

How do you notice it surf?


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## Fatoush (Jan 15, 2016)

eddy1886 said:


> Fatoush you have in my opinion lost your fear of your DP symptoms (An important step on the recovery road)....This in my experience begins to happen after a period of time suffering from DP (in my case a number of years) This is just my personal experience but gradually as time went on the symptoms which were once terrifying became less and less frightening even though they were still there in the background....Its almost like you become desensitized to them even though you still experience them...
> 
> For me after time went by I started to realise that the symptoms didnt lead me to losing my mind and in a way I developed for want of a better word a"fuckit" attitude towards them......Its kind of like when something persistently bugs you over and over for an extended period of time (i duno like say a dog constantly begging for food) Eventually you just learn to ignore it because you begin to realise that the dog is not gonna starve to death or die if you dont feed it every time it begs....What happens then is the dog stops begging!
> 
> ...


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## Fatoush (Jan 15, 2016)

I think i became desensitized to it because of emdr. That's pretty much what it is. I hope this means recovery. A lot of people say ignoring it is Essential for recovery


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

But itsnt the opposite what we want? I feel desenzitized due to DP... out of touch with thought, emotions... dont we want to FEEL more?


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

mezona said:


> How do you notice it surf?


Like how if your arm got blown off by a grenade - how you would notice that.


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Yes, exactly. But can you describe it more?


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

mezona said:


> Yes, exactly. But can you describe it more?


Describe what I notice?

I would say a very sharp acute constant mental pain/agony. Like a jack hammer is going off in the center of my brain 24/7. A terror that doesn't stop. Like when you are sleeping and are awoken by a loud noise say a smoke alarm and you 'freak out' for 1-3 seconds and are startled before your awareness realizes it's an alarm and you come to your senses. It's that fear factor of the initial moments of being startled but 24/7 non-stop. The fight or flight mode stuck on "on". Constant debilitating panic and sheer terror despite there being no external threat. Along with this I experience 2D vision and my surroundings appearing flat. Also perhaps the worst part: emotional numbness and the blank mind. An absence of there being a thought process and the ability to think.


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## hennessy (Apr 2, 2008)

vanuti vetru said:


> I sometimes feel this way and, from what i've read here, it's a pretty common stage for the "evolving" variant of DP. No detached sensation anymore but a distinct feeling of the reality being twisted or broken in some way. It appears to be a post-traumatic symptom and a matter of mind needing time to regain the once lost sense of normalcy and security. I think you're on a good way.


This! You are going to recover if you started feeling this way.


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Like a jack hammer is going off in the center of my brain 24/7.


I have this! I've never seen anyone refer to this symptom before. It's like something is constantly firing at the centre of my brain .


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

thy said:


> I have this! I've never seen anyone refer to this symptom before. It's like something is constantly firing at the centre of my brain .


Wowa - yeah. Glad to hear from someone who relates to this.

I also liken it to a rapid shaking - such as how ones teeth chatter or how one shivers uncontrollably when cold. Perhaps a constant spasm, convulsion, almost seizure like. Like a tremor or trembling.

I wonder if a lot of people with dpd experience this.


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Wowa - yeah. Glad to hear from someone who relates to this.
> 
> I also liken it to a rapid shaking - such as how ones teeth chatter or how one shivers uncontrollably when cold. Perhaps a constant spasm, convulsion, almost seizure like. Like a tremor or trembling.


Is the rhythm of this in time with your heart beat, or is it unrelated?

For me it seems to be in time with my heart beat, or at least it has a fairly regular beat to it. It's like a constant thudding, like a switch has been flipped and now this thing is just firing off all the time.



surfingisfun001 said:


> I wonder if a lot of people with dpd experience this.


yeah me too.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Interesting. I wouldn't say mine correlates with my heartbeat. I would say it is faster/ more frequent (what I experience in the head).


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## vanuti vetru (Sep 7, 2015)

Have this rhythm sensation too but it's rather subtle in my case and only happens in very specific circumstances: when, tired with mental stress, i try to take a day-time nap and fail to fall asleep, instead going into sleep-like state for a while. After "waking up" i often feel even more tired and also sort of empty, and then i often notice this weird subtle beat inside my head. It's definitely not the hearbeat as the tempo is faster, like 3-4 times a second (it's always the same specific frequency). Maybe it's related to brain frequencies and some resonance / interference occuring, i don't know.

I'm pretty sure of one thing though: if you experience such odd sensations, like a sense of mental rush or "brain on fire" or cotton brain or seizure-like stuff, this is definitely not anxiety alone but a thing related to brain chemistry going haywire. It's very likely connected to immune reactions bringing on inflammatory processes in the brain, probably as a consequence of the blood-brain barrier having been damaged and leaking neurotoxic stuff. I strongly suggest considering changes in the diet, at least for several weeks, and see if this things go away. First foods to eliminate are gluten, peppers and dairy. Also, eat less carbs, especially white sugar, fructose and "bad" starches (like in potatoes), adding more unprocessed fats instead. After a period of time some introduce some of these foods back, one at a time, and observe your reactions.

You may find this piece of advice trivial and cliched but please don't discard the food factor before trying it for yourself. Gluten-free and paleo are not just trends for hipsters and health freaks, there's actual research showing how harmful the aforementioned foods can be.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Mine is like constant rapid shifts. Almost like if your brain is overloaded with information and you have a million thoughts per second but the shifts are not actual thoughts. This is where it gets hard to explain.


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Mine is like constant rapid shifts. Almost like if your brain is overloaded with information and you have a million thoughts per second but the shifts are not actual thoughts. This is where it gets hard to explain.


Yeah all these symptoms are hard to explain. Sounds like maybe we are describing slightly different things. But who knows.


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