# Feeling much better now



## marianne (Dec 3, 2015)

Hey.

I've been struggling with DP and DR since 1997, when I was 17 years old.

I believe it was caused my smoking marihuana, taking LSD (back in the late 90s), smoking tons of cigarettes, and drinking lots of coffee .

So I started taking medications, Seroxat, and SSRI. It worked for about 2 years, then it gave me a lot of anxiety and brain fog and was terrible to get off. The anxiety stayed with me for many years later, even after I quit all drugs and smoking.

So after a few years it got better, but DR and DP still was very much real for me.
I could barely go to the store, talk to other people, etc. But at home I felt safe.

For the past few years it has started to get better, and I became more and more conscious of what was causing my emotions and thoughts to be like this.

For the past 2 months, I've not felt any anxiety at all. And just these past two weeks, I've felt the DP and DR go away.

What I believe is the main cause for me:

Quitting coffee, 2 months ago.
Stop smoking.
Using medication.

I've been drinking coffee every day since I was around 18. And the first time I had a panic attack ever, was after I for the first time in my life drank a large cup of black coffee.

I stopped drinking coffee after that, but continued with black tea and cola. And the panic attacks and DR and DP became stronger.

I never knew then, what was causing it, but went to the doctor. He gave me Seroxat, and I became well and started drinking coffee again. It worked for about two years, then it kind of backfired on me, making me more ill than ever.

I believe now, that my smoking habit, smoking 3-4 cigarettes an hour, + 3 cups of coffee every day, was what was making me ill. And not so much the medication.
But I always believed it was the medication, so I banned it from my life, and didn't use anything up until 2 years ago when I started using Lexapro/Cipralex, an SSRI.

I felt this SSRI decreased my anxiety and depression a lot, but still had DP and DR.
I just didn't know what to do.

At this point, I still drank coffee every day, first thing in the morning, and felt that it was something I couldn't live without.
I knew coffee gave me anxiety, but I felt that "whatever", I need it to be awake, and I can deal with the anxiety it gives me. Even if I have to take a Xanax.

And two months ago, I came to a realization that drinking coffee, every day, all day long, was not something I needed in my life at all. I wanted to cleanse myself of caffeine. Because I went to the doctor too, and had high blood pressure. And the doctor said that the caffeine could indeed be the cause of that. So that was a wake up call. I did not want to die in the name of coffee and DR and DP!

So I quit cold turkey with coffee. Of course the first week it was difficult to stay away from it, but it was ok. Just a few days with brain fog, and not feeling well.
The good thing is, the detox of caffeine gets better day by day.
It does not take only 3 days to detox from it, (like it says so many places).
It can take weeks and months to become "normal" again in your body. I read about this last night online. And others seemed to have the same experience. Which is why I so believe that coffee is such a big "no no" for people with DP and DR and anxiety and panic attacks.

There were many times when I drank coffee, that I felt good. That I didn't have any anxiety. So I didn't think then that it was any big deal on the DP or DR. But it really does. When you detox from it, you feel it.

So now after 2 months of no coffee, I am starting to feel like myself again. I feel comfortable in my own body, and has not experienced anxiety in my stomach at all.

I still use Cipralex/Lexapro, and I even feel that the medication helps 50% better now that I'm off coffee.

Another really good medication I take is Oxazepam. A benzo. 25 mg two times daily.

It doesn't affect the liver, weird enough. So this is considered to be the weakest benzo, but for me it works tons.

Xanax is great, but makes me sleepy, so I can't take it when going outside.

Valium makes me feel sluggish, and does not remove DP, DR or anxiety for me.

Clonazepam doesn't do anything for me, it makes me feel more DR and DP.

Oxazepam is the only benzo I've used that removes anxiety, DR and DP, without feeling tired, or any other side effects.

Another medication I take is Fluanxol. An old antipsychotic.

At first I was terrified of taking it. I thought it would make me a zombie. Because I tried Abilify and Zyprexa before, that my ex-bf gave to me. And I felt ill.

This Fluanxol antipsychotic, does not have any side effects when taken in low doses.
It says that in doses up to 3 mg a day, it relievs anxiety, depression, and is a stimulant.

I started with 1 mg. And within 3 days, I felt the effects. It felt amazing.
For me it feels like taking 1-2 mg Xanax, with a cup of coffee. Like, it removes all anxiety, and makes me feel alert and balanced.

I understand people become very afraid when they hear the word "antipsychotic" medication. But this is not a heavy one. No sife effects for me at all. But the fact that it helps some "schizo" behaviour and thoughts, I believe has helped some with my DR and DP.

For sleep, I use 15 mg Mirtazapin. No side effects, except dry mouth at night.

So I just wanted to share a bit about my story. And some medication recommendations that has helped me with anxiety.

And the most important thing for me, is that the DR and DP seem to have vanished now, 2 months after quitting coffee. Also, that all medications I take work so much better without caffeine.

Kind regards,

Marianne.


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## Luna_ (Dec 2, 2015)

yay!! I'm so happy for you!!! thats great. once you start feeling normal , it's weird and sometimes hard to accept, cause we've all become so used to these constant feelings/thoughts. much love !!!


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## marianne (Dec 3, 2015)

tidalpine said:


> yay!! I'm so happy for you!!! thats great. once you start feeling normal , it's weird and sometimes hard to accept, cause we've all become so used to these constant feelings/thoughts. much love !!!


Thanks


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## devin44 (Nov 19, 2014)

That's great Marianne, loved reading your story. All the best in the future!


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