# Just a thought



## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

Today I spent a lot of time thinking about what may cause my DP/DR. Since it wasn't weed or trauma, the most common triggers, it was hard for me to find what is the case with me.

I remember a year ago when, since my life is everything but normal and perfect, just before bed I would listen to music and imagine my day going just the way I wan't. I started like a normal "daydream". I would think about things like being thin, having a boyfriend... But as days were passing by I couldn't wait to get into the bed and start to imagine my perfect life. I got to the point that through the day I would think about things I would imagine next. I was already so "trained" that the daydream was totally realistic.
After a while I couldn't tell the difference between the stuff I imagined and dreams. And then I first started to feel the simptoms of DP and DR. But they were minor and I barely noticed them. I thought it was a hangover (yes I probably drink too much). And then I couldn't tell the difference between daydream, dream and reality. Those three were completely indistinguishable.

Oh dear I really sound silly don't I?

The point of all of this is, could it be that my DP/DR were somehow triggered by this? Probably not but this sounds to me like the only reason I can find. 
Please try to take this seriously although it sounds really silly.


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## Guest (Feb 7, 2011)

It definitely seems to fit as a trigger. It seems you became so engrossed in your imaginations that the normal, actual reality maybe have become depressing/frightening/etc. Thus your mind would possibly start to filter out reality, as it were, and instead focus on your imaginations/daydreams. It makes a great deal of sense. But seek a professional, (like a psychologist), for an official word on this.


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## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> But seek a professional, (like a psychologist), for an official word on this.


Still seeking courage for that.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Yeah it does sound kinda silly. But then again maybe your imaginations have went "underground" and have started a subconscious obsession of sorts that keeps the dp going. Maybe try imagining again at night how nice it would be to be dp free again before going to bed. Maybe it will replace your other longings that changed reality for you. Geez, that sounds kinda silly too.


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## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

flat said:


> Yeah it does sound kinda silly. But then again maybe your imaginations have went "underground" and have started a subconscious obsession of sorts that keeps the dp going. Maybe try imagining again at night how nice it would be to be dp free again before going to bed. Maybe it will replace your other longings that changed reality for you. Geez, that sounds kinda silly too.


Yeah I know it does. But hey I am desperate enough to try that.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Dreams are often more pleasant than reality. But real accomplishment is finding a way to realize one’s dreams. Beauty is out there even amid all the ugly. You can achieve at least some of your dreams. And, yes, a shrink can be helpful.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

kikki said:


> Still seeking courage for that.


Do you have a guidance counselor at school? Anyone you can talk to?


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## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

j4mtj said:


> Do you have a guidance counselor at school? Anyone you can talk to?


Actually the only two persons I talked about it are my best friend but we kinda avoid that subject and male (ex)best friend who is still trying to convince me that it is not true, that I am imagioning it and that he has it much worse in life (oh well I am not seeking symphaty but we know each other really well, he could have hear me out ).
I do have guaidance conunselor at school but I don't want my parents to get involved in this, since my dad will never believe in it, and my mom already thinks I have schizophrenia.
And I do not have money for a psychiatrist.

I have been "selfmedicating" with alcohol and Xanax, but as you can guess it only works a while.


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## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

Visual Dude said:


> Dreams are often more pleasant than reality. But real accomplishment is finding a way to realize one's dreams. Beauty is out there even amid all the ugly. You can achieve at least some of your dreams. And, yes, a shrink can be helpful.


Well with the DP/DR I don't think I even have dreams and goals, since I don't enjoy anything anymore.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I use to do the same thing and have wondered if daydreaming and living in a false reality in the past set up the stage for DP. I totally understand what you are talking about. I couldn't stand the life I had so I created a false one that I lived in while in the reality that I couldn't stand. I would daydream and in my daydreams it was as if I was someone else living a different life. I would daydream all the time about having a different life. It's kind of interesting because in a sense I have become that person that I use to daydream that I was, however in a horrific way. I'm too embarrassed to write about it in detail on here but maybe there is some kind of connection between creating a false reality and having chronic DP.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Also mine is not drug or trauma induced and I seem to spiral through my past ruminating trying to find out what happened, why, and make sense of things however the harder I try to do this the more it fuels the insanity. I feel like there is a time frame and series of events that I have blocked out of my memory and can't reconnect to. It's like that part of "me", those things, events, while not necessarily traumatic, well maybe traumatic on some level, have become blocked out of my consciousness almost as if stored in a subconscious part of me. It's like I am trying to go there and find those unconscious parts of me yet every time I try to do so I hit the DP wall that divides me from my consciousness.


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## *deleted* (Nov 19, 2010)

nirvana said:


> It's kind of interesting because in a sense I have become that person that I use to daydream that I was, however in a horrific way.


I can definitely relate to this.


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