# I've Gone Insane



## Guest (May 28, 2010)

I have been seriously considering moving to Finland recently. As my life here has nothing to offer and it won't anytime soon and my best friend lives in Finland and has offered me a place to live, I'm seriously considering it. This morning I woke up and was like "Let's do this thing". I decided that visting for a few months is a better idea than just up and moving. Never mind the fact that I have a PHOBIA of airplane or will have to work out custody and visitation arrangements for my kids. Right now I feel like, if I want to die living where I am, I probably won't care if I actually do die in a plane crash and that all of that other stuff doesn't need to be worried about right now, as this will just be a trip.

Is this insanity? The fact that I am questioning it probably says that it's not. But I'm also smart enough to take some time to think about it. I don't want to make irrational and emotional decisions.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> I have been seriously considering moving to Finland recently. As my life here has nothing to offer and it won't anytime soon and my best friend lives in Finland and has offered me a place to live, I'm seriously considering it. This morning I woke up and was like "Let's do this thing". I decided that visting for a few months is a better idea than just up and moving. Never mind the fact that I have a PHOBIA of airplane or will have to work out custody and visitation arrangements for my kids. Right now I feel like, if I want to die living where I am, I probably won't care if I actually do die in a plane crash and that all of that other stuff doesn't need to be worried about right now, as this will just be a trip.
> 
> Is this insanity? The fact that I am questioning it probably says that it's not. But I'm also smart enough to take some time to think about it. I don't want to make irrational and emotional decisions.


I can't say I know much about insanity but I'm pretty sure that wanting a better life is not insanity. As I've seen in your previous posts, you're under a lot of stress at home, so moving might be just what you need


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## 2deepathinker (Aug 17, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> I have been seriously considering moving to Finland recently. As my life here has nothing to offer and it won't anytime soon and my best friend lives in Finland and has offered me a place to live, I'm seriously considering it. This morning I woke up and was like "Let's do this thing". I decided that visting for a few months is a better idea than just up and moving. Never mind the fact that I have a PHOBIA of airplane or will have to work out custody and visitation arrangements for my kids. Right now I feel like, if I want to die living where I am, I probably won't care if I actually do die in a plane crash and that all of that other stuff doesn't need to be worried about right now, as this will just be a trip.
> 
> Is this insanity? The fact that I am questioning it probably says that it's not. But I'm also smart enough to take some time to think about it. I don't want to make irrational and emotional decisions.


I don't think it is too crazy, but maybe I am already crazy also! When I was 21 (I am now 34), I suffered from some anxiety and DP. I was a student and seeing a counselor and Psychiatrist. I was not happy with the life I was leading at that point. In a nutshell, I had just spent a summer in Italy, and I wanted to go back. My parents wanted me to go to the University, and I was not excited about it. I developed DP and had generalized anxiety. What my being wanted more than anything was to go back to Italy. I told the psychiatrist who I had only met two times, and she said that I should not run away from my troubles, and I should just try to be happy in Los Angeles first. I trusted my intuition and what hunch I was getting. I then went to study a year in Italy with the University I was attending. I was anxious about going, but it was a different kind of anxious than the stagnant, depressive anxiousness I was experiencing. I have to tell you that when I was in the airplane and then in Italy, my anxiety and DP disappeared. I felt happy. I had many exciting experiences. I think sometimes we can develop anxiety, depression, and perhaps even DP when we are not following the things that make us happy. I think sometimes it is important to take risks even if we fail at it. Following my trip to Italy, I had many good years without anxiety and DP. Right before I turned 33, you might already know that I developed panic attacks, and panic disorder. I am lucky in a sense since I know that my DP/DR developed most likely out of the panic disorder as a coexisting disorder. I wish I knew what my soul/being wanted. I am sure if you really want to go to Finland, you can work out the logistics of it all. I think wanting a better life is not crazy at all, and in fact is a sign of sanity. Good luck!


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## Guest (May 28, 2010)

2deepathinker said:


> I don't think it is too crazy, but maybe I am already crazy also! When I was 21 (I am now 34), I suffered from some anxiety and DP. I was a student and seeing a counselor and Psychiatrist. I was not happy with the life I was leading at that point. In a nutshell, I had just spent a summer in Italy, and I wanted to go back. My parents wanted me to go to the University, and I was not excited about it. I developed DP and had generalized anxiety. What my being wanted more than anything was to go back to Italy. I told the psychiatrist who I had only met two times, and she said that I should not run away from my troubles, and I should just try to be happy in Los Angeles first. I trusted my intuition and what hunch I was getting. I then went to study a year in Italy with the University I was attending. I was anxious about going, but it was a different kind of anxious than the stagnant, depressive anxiousness I was experiencing. I have to tell you that when I was in the airplane and then in Italy, my anxiety and DP disappeared. I felt happy. I had many exciting experiences. I think sometimes we can develop anxiety, depression, and perhaps even DP when we are not following the things that make us happy. I think sometimes it is important to take risks even if we fail at it. Following my trip to Italy, I had many good years without anxiety and DP. Right before I turned 33, you might already know that I developed panic attacks, and panic disorder. I am lucky in a sense since I know that my DP/DR developed most likely out of the panic disorder as a coexisting disorder. I wish I knew what my soul/being wanted. I am sure if you really want to go to Finland, you can work out the logistics of it all. I think wanting a better life is not crazy at all, and in fact is a sign of sanity. Good luck!


Thank you for that! It is mighty appealing. Even despite my phobia of airplanes I actually feel excited right now thinking about going. Scared but excited also. I really honestly have nothing here for me. Nowhere to live but with my abusive ex. No friends, no family, no chance at being able to provide for myself enough to survive. In Finland, if you become a resident (you don't have to become a citizen) they pay for your housing, food, bills, college, medical. Plus my best friend lives there with her husband and soon to be 2 kids. That is more than I have here. I do honestly think the key to relieving a LOT of my anxiety is finalizing my divorce and getting away from my husband. I think that moving somewhere that I know I am wanted and would be provided for would be incredibly helpful. Plus the wonderful thing about Europe is that they teach English in schools right along with their own languages, so I can get by communicating there.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

This is great. I hope you find happyness and peace in my neighbouring country.


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## Guest (May 28, 2010)

Inzom said:


> This is great. I hope you find happyness and peace in my neighbouring country.


Lol Don't worry, I won't take sides in the Finish/Swedish hate war


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## Sarasi3 (Mar 4, 2010)

Oh Tiny what a wondeful plan!

My family is from Finland







It is so beautiful there!! I do not think that is a crazy idea at all. We all need to have different experiences in life, and living abroad had always been a dream of mine, and a dream of many others I'm sure. I say if it feels right in your heart, go for it.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm having the same thought, I really want to move away! I've experienced myself that dp can go away in minutes, so maybe it's worth a shot. I don't know if it's a good idea when it comes to my kids (I'm writing this as I know you can probably relate), but what good am I anyway, with dp?? Wouldn't it be wonderful if it worked, and one could move back (or whatever) and be well?

I seriously think Scandinavia is a better place to live if you're ill, I don't understand how you americans survive.. Scandinavia is not Europe though, just so you know life up north is very different You shouldn't make any big decisions before visiting for a while!


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

I would say great, go for it if it was just you in the equation, but I guess it depends if you are happy leaving your kids with your husband and hardly seeing them? I guess if in the long run it means you are happier then it is for the best. However you also need to think about how much spare time your best friend is going to have to spend with you if she has two kids and one is very new (although then again she will probably appreciate some help!) what you plan to do when you get there etc. I am sure you have thought about all that though. It all sounds very exciting


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## Mario (Oct 26, 2009)

york said:


> Scandinavia is not Europe though


Out of topic of course,but Scandinavia is not Europe? What do you mean by that?
Scandinavia is part of Europe and will always be.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Wow that's so sweet, you should totally do it. Maybe just visit for a while first though. My best friends are in eastern europe and I often think about up and leaving to go out there. I want to be well first though so it doesn't seem like a dream.


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## Guest (May 31, 2010)

Mario said:


> Out of topic of course,but Scandinavia is not Europe? What do you mean by that?
> Scandinavia is part of Europe and will always be.


I think she meant something about the Weather/Seasons or whatnot.

(Or something about Healthcare?)


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## Guest (May 31, 2010)

guest1234 said:


> I would say great, go for it if it was just you in the equation, but I guess it depends if you are happy leaving your kids with your husband and hardly seeing them? I guess if in the long run it means you are happier then it is for the best. However you also need to think about how much spare time your best friend is going to have to spend with you if she has two kids and one is very new (although then again she will probably appreciate some help!) what you plan to do when you get there etc. I am sure you have thought about all that though. It all sounds very exciting


I've come to realize that you are right. It can't really happen. It was nice to dream about for a day or two though.


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## Mario (Oct 26, 2009)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> I think she meant something about the Weather/Seasons or whatnot.
> 
> (Or something about Healthcare?)


Yep,i guess you're right.


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> I've come to realize that you are right. It can't really happen. It was nice to dream about for a day or two though.


Noooo that is not at all the case, it just needs some planning - I am in a similar situation in that I don't want to be where I am at the moment BUT I can't move without having a job where I want to move to. It doesn't mean I can't go, it just means I need to work out all the details and not rush into it.


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## Guest (May 31, 2010)

guest1234 said:


> Noooo that is not at all the case, it just needs some planning - I am in a similar situation in that I don't want to be where I am at the moment BUT I can't move without having a job where I want to move to. It doesn't mean I can't go, it just means I need to work out all the details and not rush into it.


No, you were right about her not having time. When she lived in the same city as me I rarely saw her. We are very much the same personality types. We are depressive and reclusive and while we talk on the internet and did get along well when we were together, we were rarely together.

I suspect that it is the idea of a new start, getting away from my situation, and being provided for that is so appealing and has nothing to do with Finland itself. Truth be told, being stranded in a country where I don't speak the language and where there is 5 feet of snow every winter is not appealing to me.

I think it's time to just bite the bullet and Anna Nicole it. I need to marry some old rich dude who can take care of me.


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> No, you were right about her not having time. When she lived in the same city as me I rarely saw her. We are very much the same personality types. We are depressive and reclusive and while we talk on the internet and did get along well when we were together, we were rarely together.


If that is the case then you may have just ended up feeling more isolated so you are being really wise here I think.

Massive LOL at the anna nicole comment, my mum says that to me all the time (about me, not her







)


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## Leevi1212 (Jul 5, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> I suspect that it is the idea of a new start, getting away from my situation, and being provided for that is so appealing and has nothing to do with Finland itself. Truth be told, being stranded in a country where I don't speak the language and where there is 5 feet of snow every winter is not appealing to me.


I read your message only now, in June. I just want to say that if you ever decide to visit in Finland do it during the summer time ; ) And also for your infromation almost everyone can speak english and in the southern part of our country there are not much snow during the winter ; )


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## Angel_heaven (Jun 1, 2010)

Leevi1212 said:


> I read your message only now, in June. I just want to say that if you ever decide to visit in Finland do it during the summer time ; ) And also for your infromation almost everyone can speak english and in the southern part of our country there are not much snow during the winter ; )


I say go for it I mean why are we any different from anyone else. We have the right to live too we are ppl too! Go for it!


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