# Need Help With Keeping And Managing DPD



## ThatKabbyGuy (Feb 5, 2016)

After 8 years now of suffering from it, I have recently found out what DPD is. Like a lot of others, DPD has hurt relationships, gave me a memory that is at best awful, and sends me into deep thought periods where I'll literally just stand around thinking and ignore everything else.

Now that I can put a name and cause to this, I actually find huge benefits to it. Such as others on this site has said, it really helps determine what is or isn't important. The most relatable quote (and that user can claim his and/or ownership as I forgot who it was) to me was "It's like enlightenment without the zen."
I've had the most beautiful revelations under this disorder.

Another plus for me is the emotional numbness. Until I found out what DPD is, the numbness had me starting to think that I was a Sociopath or just a stupid jerk. Now, understanding it, I think of it as a positive. I'm never unsure whether I love or hate something, as my responses to those things break through the numb.

I also love the fact that I have a perspective of reality that most people will never experience.

I kinda want to keep it. The problem is obviously the many negatives, which is are why most people want to lose this.

I don't care much about the relationships dealio, but the horrid memory and the not being able to get stuff done has to be managed. The anxiety and constant inner jittery feeling sucks.

Does anyone have any advice on how to help my memory, ability to do things, and anxiety without curing the DPD?
Also, does anyone know of a way to keep DPD from going away while being more functional in the real world?


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## thy (Oct 7, 2015)

wanting to keep DPD, wow, dont think I've heard of that one before.


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## Zed (Jul 25, 2015)

ThatKabbyGuy said:


> After 8 years now of suffering from it, I have recently found out what DPD is. Like a lot of others, DPD has hurt relationships, gave me a memory that is at best awful, and sends me into deep thought periods where I'll literally just stand around thinking and ignore everything else.
> 
> Now that I can put a name and cause to this, I actually find huge benefits to it. Such as others on this site has said, it really helps determine what is or isn't important. The most relatable quote (and that user can claim his and/or ownership as I forgot who it was) to me was "It's like enlightenment without the zen."
> I've had the most beautiful revelations under this disorder.
> ...


I can totally understand wanting to keep your dissociative lifestyle - because there's a certain amount of comfort in keeping things as they are. Change is challenging and is often difficult at first. But in the long run you'll start to find things about being dissociative that aren't that great and can ultimately make life more difficult than someone who's not. Having an emotional connection with a partner is one example, memory 'problems' are another.

As you work on reducing your dp, your memory will reintegrate back into your consciousness. A while back someone said to me "dissociation is a way to store memories". I believe that to be true. We store memories differently to un-dissociated ppl and that's why so many dper's have difficulty retrieving memories.


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## Guest (Feb 9, 2016)

This post should be pinned, I want to keep my dpd. U know, my therapist asked me about the positive side of it. I kinda answered just like you did. I would never want to keep it though if given the chance I'd ditch this puppy so fast lol. I don't know about getting rid of some of the negatives and keeping dissociation itself. I am not a therapist nor doctor, but think that with the positive comes the negative like anything else. DPD is no different. I mean, how can you be dissociated and time not be affected in some way since your mind and self are altered. Regarding memory, how can that not be affected when there is brain fog,etc. One of the most interesting questions I have read on this forum so far. You know while reading your post was amusing, I think you are onto something. Not in terms of keeping the DPD, but I mean really saying what the disorder is teaching you. There is very little of that on this forum and its positive. Like maybe we should start a thread or section on this board to show what DP has taught you besides the nightmares. I think everything has the potential to teach, I don't see why this is any different. I know all the negatives, but there can be some positives like you mentioned.

J


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