# Angry, anxious, etc.



## Cheryl (Dec 4, 2010)

I've noticed that, with the DP came a lot of unreasonable anger. I get frustrated at tiny things - such as someone crunching on a chip. The repetition drives me nuts, lol. I easily get irritated, especially at work if I'm the only one pulling all of my weight. Additionally, my mind is cloudy all the time. It's almost like I can literally feel the fogginess wrapped around my brain, especially if I think about it (which makes sense if it's a psychological thing, as I'm just validating its existence.) I think part of the fogginess is the medication I'm taking - seroquel xr, using it off label. I know it's used for bipolar disorder and to slow down rapid thinking. Before this, I had well-developed but quick thinking. I could think an entire situation through in seconds. I digress.
I have a lurking fear of schizophrenia, which as far as I've seen is common in DPD. This, of course, doesn't lessen the fear. I fear that one day, I'm just going to snap - be so overloaded, I'm going to not feel a thing anymore, go crazy, lose control, etc. I 100% fear the loss of control, to the extent where I will not do anything that causes it - drink, use anesthesia, etc. 
All of these things combined make for anxiety levels that fluctuate. I know the anxiety is just a psychological thing, coming with the DP to try and protect me. It just sucks.

Oh, and a side note: does anyone feel as if one day is a lifetime? i.e. If something happens in the morning, I feel like it happened weeks ago. This sort of first came around when I started feeling DP...like if I went to the park. When I got back, I felt like I had never left - I could recall the events, but not feel like they happened.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Good morning Chevy lover







,

*I think part of the fogginess is the medication I'm taking - seroquel xr, using it off label. I know it's used for bipolar disorder and to slow down rapid thinking. Before this, I had well-developed but quick thinking*

Since Serequel does this for you, what other meds have you tried?

*feel as if one day is a lifetime&#8230;*

Actually lots of people feel this - especially when very busy (overloaded?). You start wondering if you actually did a task today, or I you merely planned to. Or with repeated tasks, since you did it a couple days ago, you can't remember if you did it today yet.

Also, being overloaded will cause *unreasonable anger* and *mind is cloudy*. I'd say take a nice long vacation but most of us can't afford one these days. And with DP, it is easy to be too busy.


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## Onibla (Nov 9, 2010)

A lot of my memories seem like they're from ages ago despite only having been from yesterday etc..
This is because we spend so much time focusing on the DP/DR instead of on building memories and details of those days.


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

Cheryl i can relate to all of those things. The other day i was thinking to myself i can almost physically feel the fogginess in my head very annoying. I get irritable easy now for instance earlier i snapped at my mum because the way she kept sighing it irritated me, i wass really harsh and apologized. And with the memory thing i too get this, its like the days go fast for me but just thinking about this morning seems like 2 days ago its weird.


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## Cambella2002 (Nov 25, 2010)

Hello Cheryl, Thank you for your post. I'm glad to hear that someone can relate to my experiences. I have a question, what is your diagnosis? Have you tried any other medication? Do you feel better on Seroquel? Or you considering another medication?

I agree with one of the responses to your post. Agitation is common with DP/DR and other conditions. It sounds like you're going through a lot, have you taken time for yourself to relax and relieve stress?

I found myself getting frustated with certain individuals in my life. Usually with those who apathetic and negative. My mother lacks empathy (her actions show it)so I try to minimize conversation time with her. Sad to say but I have to keep conversations trivial or I find myself getting angry (of course, I repress the anger, she's my mother). I just wanted to share my experience. I'm not suggesting that you're under the same conditions.

Best wishes to you!!


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

I can relate to all of this soooooo so so so so so so much. So much.

I think a lot of of my emotional problems are caused by me being ashamed of certain emotions and not feeling like I can express my anger. I also have a definite fear of going crazy.

At the time when the DP started I had so much going on in my head, so many emotions that all seemed to be conflicting with each other that I just didn't know what to do. All of this made me feel really angry but I had nowhere to channel it. I just had all these feelings going round and round and then suddenly I just stopped feeling them.

I honestly don't believe I will get my feelings back until I have learned why it happened. Also I think that I need to let myself know that when they do come back I will allow myself to feel ALL of them and give them each their own space and freedom of expression.

I have to say though, it's frustrating work.


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## Cheryl (Dec 4, 2010)

Thanks for the replies, guys.









Visual - I've been on Seroquel XR, lexapro, and xanax. I was going to try paxil, but don't like the withdrawal symptoms. Growing up, I've always been sick with something (physically, I have a terrible stomach) so the medication game is nothing new. I don't really want to play it anymore, because a lot of medications don't agree with me. I tried the lexapro years ago, and it literally wiped out my memory for the period of time I was taking it. I remember that I felt like I was forced to be happy, and the minute I felt negative, I was feeling sick. I'm looking into talking to my dr about Lamotrigine, as I've been reading that it's good. However, my psych warned me against SSRI's because Lex didn't work for me. She doesn't feel any other SSRI will. Can it be taken separately and still have the same affect, do you know?

And a couple of you mentioned taking a break. To be honest, I need to overload myself with things to do - the minute I have downtime is when I feel the most anxious, detached, etc. I'm not comfortable in my own skin, I guess, so I'm at the stage where I distract in any way possible. It's sort of like...I'm so afraid of it that I work myself up into it. I wonder if that makes sense, lol. The problem is that I know where the DP comes from...abuse from an ex and some growing up. I guess I just need to figure out how to cope, and that's a whole 'nother ball game.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

Cheryl said:


> Thanks for the replies, guys.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*Lexapro &#8230; I remember that I felt like I was forced to be happy, and the minute I felt negative, I was feeling sick.*

I have this too. SSRIs make anxiety worse - you can't even think about thinking about negative stuff.

*Lamotrigine*

Haven't tried this. Doesn't require SSRI to work. I'd expect rather the opposite - it would allow you to better tolerate a SSRI. But SSRIs don't seem to be the thing for you (so why try again as you said). Have you tried dopamine stuff? (Wellbutrin, Adderall, Requip)

Gabapentin (another anti-seizure) has worked well for me.

*I need to overload myself with things to do&#8230;*

Understood. This is how one 'vacations' from their emotions.

*DP comes from...abuse*

Good you know the source - it make it easier to target a solution. This is my case as well. Sound like you know where to put your efforts. Sorry but I don't know of any painless methods to work through this stuff - although the rewards are worth it afterwards. Take care


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