# I guess I can be proud of mysef, cant' I?



## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Hey guys







,

wow, what a weekend, what a start of the week!!!!

9 months ago, I was afraid to invite friends, I was afraid to go to town, I was afraid to drive the car, I was afraid to give private lessons, I was sure I would IN NO WAY be able to fulfil my duties at the stable, at university or elsewhere and I was convinced not to be able to get up ealier than 10am.

AN NOW THAT!!! Wooohoooo









On Saturday, I organized a birthday party for a 4year old girl. I work voluntarily for this little riding therapy, you know, and the boss did not have time on Saturday, but it simply would have broken her heart to cancel the party, so she asked me if I could organise and do it. I just said YES







AND DID IT. From 8 in the morning I was at the stable, tidied up everything, made the room look nice and comfortable, I picked up the cakes from the volunteer-bakers, prepared the paper chase and so forth and so on. The party was a great success























On Sunday, my boyfriend and I did a Quad tour and had a BBQ at a near reservoir.

But the best thing, I guess, happened today. I started my apprenticeship at a grammar school this morning!!! I was so damn panicky and I was sure I would never get through this. What if they asked me to speak English and I could not? What if the pupils laughed about me? What if I just could not make it???? But I DID IT and it wasn't half as terrible as I expected it to be!!!!

When the teacher asked me to introduce myself, I simply replied in my best English and well, it just worked well!!!

So yeah, I am really proud of myself.

So now, that I start to manage to do those things I HAVE to do, the next step is to learn again to enjoy my free time









Wish me luck?

Best wishes,
Steffi


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## Tree_of_Life2001 (Jan 6, 2011)

That is awesome and yes you should be proud!!! Keep pressing through and as most of those who have recovered say..Fake it till you make it!!!!!!


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Yeeeeaaahhh, I am doing my best!









It feels as if -step by step- I am stealing my own life back. If I could just enjoy all that... but well, that is too much to ask for at the moment







.


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## Emir (Nov 20, 2010)

...


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## Guest (Mar 21, 2011)

I wasn't aware that English is not your First Tongue. What an amazing week for you, that's awesome! Good Luck in future endeavors


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

Thaaaaank you









I still cannot believe how things are going!! It is really great...

Unfortunately, I am just making great process as far as functioning is concerned. Regarding this, I am at 95%, I guess. As far as emotions and feeling joy is concerned...well, I am at...let's say... 30% and I am not feeling myself at all- So there is still a lot to be done!


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

I just wanted to add that I have just found a native speaker of English who will support me in order to improve my spoken English









I have been thinking about gaining help in this field for 5 years and now I am actually doing it. YEAH!









This is so damn strange... Since I have these problems, I have started to do all those things I always wanted to, but never had the courage for. Why is that?? This automn I will fly with a plane for the first time... guess what I have been afraid of my entire life









This is really strange, I think.

If just I was less anxious and depressed. But well, I cannot have everything, can I


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## Gypsy85 (Sep 23, 2010)

A little update to encourage people









When I started this apprenticeship I just was like: "Oh my god, I won't make... there is definitely NO WAY I will make it!!!!"

Now here I am, just having two days left until I will have completed this apprenticeship









Shall I tell you something funny??? I have started TO LIKE it!!! Isn't this mad??? I LIKE IT









This morning, I had to attend a 12th grade course and I was fairly frightened as I do not look older than the people in these higher classes and as I know that this particular teacher might pick on me during lessons as well







I was just about to not go there, but then I thought: "Well, this won't kill you, will it? The worst thing that could happen is that you will embarass yourself. And then? Well, just make a joke, they are pupils not monsters!!!"

I went there and -here I am-







still alive LOL.

What I would like to put forward with this post is: Please, do not believe your mind when it tries to convince you that you cannot do anything, caus YOU CAN. Go there, have a try and I promise you it will not be half as terrible as your mind tried to convince you it will.

Unfortunately, your mind is not your friend, but your enemy in this. Make him SHUT UP, show him your tongue and give it a try. If I can do it, you can do it as well









GOOD LUCK to you all!


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Gypsy85 said:


> What I would like to put forward with this post is: Please, do not believe your mind when it tries to convince you that you cannot do anything, caus YOU CAN. Go there, have a try and I promise you it will not be half as terrible as your mind tried to convince you it will.
> 
> Unfortunately, your mind is not your friend, but your enemy in this. Make him SHUT UP, show him your tongue and give it a try. If I can do it, you can do it as well
> 
> ...


I really needed to hear that. Lately I've been giving up to myself too much. I just feel so beaten of life, tired, depressed. I'm afraid of every possible thing. I know how hard it is to do and achieve all those things you mentioned here so you should be very proud of yourself. This is wonderful. Keep on going, don't give up and make the best of it.


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