# Going Blind



## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

It feels like I'm losing my vision or going blind, no joke. Can't process shit.


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## Parachutes333 (Dec 13, 2010)

do you see visual snow??????


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Parachutes333 said:


> do you see visual snow??????


Nope, just going blind.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

insaticiable said:


> Nope, just going blind.


Is it because you feel disconnected from what you see ... it is all there but has no meaning?


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Visual said:


> *Is it because you feel disconnected from what you see* ... it is all there but has no meaning?


Kind of, yeah. I just feel like I don't see what's in front of me. Yes, I can read the words in front of me, but I feel like they don't exist. Does that make sense?


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

yes, although I wish I didn't know what you were talking about. I think the human mind is meant to register emotion connected to what we see, so when that process is absent it feels like you are no longer witnessing anything. I really think the answer for extreme cases like ours is just choosing a certain meaning in life and just going at it without thinking about anything else. That is how I've decided to function in society, I'm not attempting to be happy or social anymore - I'm working on becoming a workaholic. But towards a specific meaningful goal.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

insaticiable said:


> Kind of, yeah. I just feel like I don't see what's in front of me. Yes, I can read the words in front of me, but I feel like they don't exist. Does that make sense?


This is something I experience that is different than DR (everything seeming strange and/or the sense of a barrier between you and it)

Everything is seen clearly yet the meaning is somehow lost. I'd even walk into tree limbs that I clearly saw but couldn't see. Trying to find things on shelves, etc can be extremely frustrating.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Visual said:


> This is something I experience that is different than DR (everything seeming strange and/or the sense of a barrier between you and it)
> 
> Everything is seen clearly yet the meaning is somehow lost. I'd even walk into tree limbs that I clearly saw but couldn't see. Trying to find things on shelves, etc can be extremely frustrating.


What is it that you experience, Visual?

I would go as far to say that it's more than just the absence of emotion that is contributing to this ''vision loss.'' Things seem dimmer, duller, and I really believe that the severe degree of my DP and the loss of connection to the self/world contributes to my DR and the problems with vision that I have. Dunno if that made sense either. I just feel that I don't exist whatsoever, that I am so far inside myself.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Sometimes my only relief is to close my eyes and sleep when it gets so bad.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

insaticiable said:


> Sometimes my only relief is to close my eyes and sleep when it gets so bad.


stay strong. You will get through this.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

PhoenixDown said:


> stay strong. You will get through this.


Thanks. Appreciate it.


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

*Sometimes my only relief is to close my eyes and sleep when it gets so bad.*

This is so true, but there are still problems with eyes closed

*What is it that you experience, Visual?*

DP -- I seem to fare better than most on the site. I don't have a loss of connection with self. No existential issues. Plenty of emotions, just (unfortunately) too much connection to negative one that I just ignore. There is difficulty connecting with others effectively.

DR -- There is no question/thought about the world being real. There is a feeling that there is a transparent barrier between it and myself - very odd. And it feels like the brain is fighting to connect - this is very tiring.

Visually, there are a lot of distortions and difficulties common to HPPD. Medicine has helped these a lot but not all and not DR (though Keppra seems to be promising).

Main symptoms improved: contrast (night/evening vision), acuity, dimness, fog/auras, depth perception, bowed surfaces (walls, floors, ceiling), color, frames/motion latency, mood, spasms, taste and smell, anhedonia, tinnitis.

Main symptoms not improved: 'movement of stationary objects' such as dolly zoom, DR, disorientation and fatigue.

Can you list your visual symptoms?


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

I sometimes feel I might be going blind also. Sometimes my eyes or behind the eyes hurt and It freaks me out. The worst visual problem I have been having is Glares. I get glares off of everything when i watch tv at night or when driving and it's worse when i wear my glasses . Any light shining in makes a glare that i see. I didn't start getting these glares till about 3 months ago. I also have trouble driving at night but rarely go out anymore.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Visual said:


> *Sometimes my only relief is to close my eyes and sleep when it gets so bad.*
> 
> This is so true, but there are still problems with eyes closed
> 
> ...


It feels like my field of vision is slowly narrowing more and more. I just wish there was an explanation for all of this. The symptoms I experience. What is going on neurologically to cause these difficulties? It seems like I have to really strain my eyes to ''see'' the words in front of me. It's all a hazy, messy, blur.

What you are describing as the ''transparent barrier'' between you and world is exactly what I experienced last year which I thought was classic DR. It definitely was not as severe as it is now.

I'm contemplating the idea of getting an fMRI done. If only it wasn't so expensive ($2000)


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

opie37060 said:


> It feels like my field of vision is slowly narrowing more and more. I just wish there was an explanation for all of this. The symptoms I experience. What is going on neurologically to cause these difficulties? It seems like I have to really strain my eyes to ''see'' the words in front of me. It's all a hazy, messy, blur.
> 
> What you are describing as the ''transparent barrier'' between you and world is exactly what I experienced last year which I thought was classic DR. It definitely was not as severe as it is now.
> 
> I'm contemplating the idea of getting an fMRI done. If only it wasn't so expensive ($2000)


Not sure what info the fMRI would provide since it seems largely at the research stage rather than practice. Still, it would be interesting to know.

As far as *What is going on neurologically to cause these difficulties*, the visual system is very complex. You may wish to Google stuff like "Ambient Visual Processing" and "Focal Visual Processing". There is a lot of info about these problems that are being experienced. Three links starting with http://www.neuroskills.com/tbi/vision1.shtml, have some good information about symptoms and why they are experienced. Don't worry about words such as TBI, but rather focus on what the two main visual systems are, what they do, and what happens when they lose synchronization.

It may help to list symptoms and organize them by functional similarity or relationship. For example, contrast problem and depth perception problem go together since depth perception depends on contrast. These may be helped by dopamine meds since contrast adjustment and perception uses this neurotransmitter.

Hope this is helpful&#8230;


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Visual said:


> Check out http://www.visionsimulations.com/index.php and see if any of these apply. Particularly Glare, Halos, Loss of Contrast, and Starbursting
> 
> Is there a medication you tried about 3 months ago?
> 
> ...


Thanks Visual, I'll definitely look into the links! I appreciate all of your help and guidance thus far!


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