# WE CAN GET BETTER



## Guest (Aug 13, 2004)

Hello, I am a fellow DP/DR sufferer, I would just like to say i am very upset with the attitudes i see on this website. Let me start off by saying, yes, i know how all of you feel, back in my first year of college, i smoked a little too much marijuana, and drank a little too much. all in all maybe it messed up my brain chemicals. BUT, I am not going to let this stupid ass little problem wreck my whole life. This is so stupid, i mean most if not all of the people on this froum talk about the problem way to much, if you focus on the problem you may never be able to find a solution, lets focus on the solution people. I would be very gratefull if i could see a sucess story or two on this froum, i have yet to see any. This cant control you, this is not you, it is all in your head. I myself have been to my share of doctors and shrinks, i have been on a couple medications and let me tell you what, what helped me the most was myself, it was hard, i am still dealing with it, but it has been going for just over nine months and I will not give up, I am determined, so come on people lets focus on a solution, this problem cant rule you, YOU HAVE CONTROL, YOU CAN GET BACK TO YOUR TREASURED LIFE.


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2004)

110% with you dude.

I've got a success story: Used to have DP/DR all the damn time. Don't have it anymore. Infact I feel MORE connected to the world and myself than I ever have before. I *KNOW* for a fact if I would have sat on my butt feeling sorry for myself and not have gone out and tried to live life anyways I would still be sitting there dealing with that BS.

I think fearing it and letting it dominate your life is the worst thing you can do for yourself. I know this disorder sucks but I don't feel bad for anybody who isn't willing to fight. That's their own problem then.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

That was a beautiful reply, Cloverstone. I couldn't have sait it better myself. While he did have a positive outlook, he missed the idea that we ARE kind of like a family, and we go through bad and self-defeatist times, and then others in the "family" help us out. It's the support of other humans, not the clinical know-how, that makes this board so important.


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2004)

Holy cripes Cloverstone. Way to go girl.......

This can be a sensitive group zp. It is also a diverse group, including folks with a wide array of levels of suffering, time with this stuff, etc. I'm going with the thought that your original post here was meant to be positive, motivating, etc.

I have been DP longer than most here. A fact of which I am not particularly proud. Yet since becoming a resident of hell, I have managed to continue on with the easy stuff. Regular life. I work, I play, I am a husband, I am a father. I have ups and downs, I get sick I get well, bad things happen to me good things happen to me, I could take anybody in this group at basketball yet lose to most at ping pong. People I know get hurt, people I know die. I worry about my kids, I worry about money. You know. All that easy stuff. 
On top of that, and like many, many members of this group - I endure this crap. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I hang on best I can. Barely staying alive...............and doing the easy stuff on top of that. 
I am one of the strongest people I know. And I can prove it - I am massively DP'ed and still alive. And, unbelievably, I continue on with regular life. 
One of the reasons I am a member of this group is to be with other people like me. Incredibly strong people. 
DP is not something I can discuss with most people. They typically don't understand, become afraid, etc. THIS is where I do it. This is a self help group for people with DP/DR. This is the place for people to talk about their experiences with DP/DR. Discussing symptoms, etc, is not moaning about it, crying, etc. It is usually the ONLY place people like me can talk about the weirdness of it all without being labeled a nut case.

Success stories are lacking here, I agree. Part of that is because the site is less than a week old (other one crashed and burned). The main reason though, is that once out of this nightmare most people move on to YippieI'mSaneSelfHelp. Different group, no doubt a bit more upbeat. All of us here want to move onto that group. 
None of us are here because we want to be. We are here because this is one of the few places we can come to be with people who understand. Where we can be completely open about what we are going through. Both bad and good.


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2004)

sc id just like to say that there is NO WAY that you could beat me in a one on one lol.......


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## Guest (Aug 13, 2004)

& also SC hit the nail right on the head.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Cloverstone-

I couldn't have said what you said that I said that you said-- aw hell whatever!


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I agree also sc. We come here and moan and groan sometimes because no one else understands. Not doctors or psychologists or loved ones. And they get tired of hearing us complain because they don't know how to help us. There are only a select few people in my life that I can talk to about my depersonalization because most people aren't interested/don't care or just can't understand and get frustrated. I'm not gonna spend hours explaining something to someone who's just gonna blow me off as nuts or just a complainer. So I come here, basically the only place I can get support. There's not even one book out there about this stuff. And there's a book for everything under the sun. That's bad.


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

zpgrimm, you sound angry. Please do not get me wrong it is okay to be angry, you may be angry at this illness and therefore venting to others. We all feel that way when coping with an illness. You mentioned needing to hear a success story from here, there is many of those. I believe that everyone here is a sucess story. Everyone continues to try hard to be well and that to me is very much a sucess story. This website is here to give and recieve support, wonderful people come here everyday and share their pain and their joy. I have mentioned before that it is important for others not to try and expect something from someone that they do not feel. If everyone here does not feel they have had a good day today it is okay. Critizism will not help bring out sucess. Their is no magic wand, god I wish there was. One of the greatest gifts we have is freedom to be able to go places we would like to go or not, read things we would like to read or not. What may be good for one person may not be good for another, maybe a what you are looking for is in a different website, that is what is nice about choice.

gem.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2004)

I hope people continue to express themselves on this board. Bitching and moaning was a huge part of my recovery. I am being serious. Sharing my pain, frustration and symptoms and finding VALIDATION for those made me feel like a normal human being when I thought I was turning into some sort of freak. I hope people continue to vent here without feeling guilty or weak. I do agree that recovery lies WITHIN Us as individuals. I truly TRULY believe that the key to recovery comes from taking the next step and finding solutions to this dp hell.

When our old board collapsed, I realised how much a part of me it is. And all those people who post, even though I don't have ongoing relationships here, are a family of sorts to me. I feel like I want to defend them against criticism. I actually used to work as a counsellor before I burnt out and started displaying post traumatic symptoms myself (common in people working with survivors of abuse). I iknow for sure that VALIDATION is key in a counselling relationship and also applies in support groups as well. People recover when they are validated...when their pain and suffering is validated and cared about. Just needed to say this.

Monika


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2004)

After reading all of the posts, I have realized that I might have been a little to harsh, I was juts really feeling angry at the time, I mean yah, this thing that i am going through I hope to beat completely very soon, but it just upsets me if you know what i mean, I am very sorry if i expressed my anger, it was really meant to be directed towards DP/DR.

Sorry, and thanks

zpgrimm


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## gem (Aug 10, 2004)

zpgrimm, it is okay. I know how you feel. We are not angry at each other we are angry at the illness. It is a living a nightmare to be in this. We are all searching and some day there will be an answer to what we suffer, until then we all want the same thing, to wake up one day and feel real.

gem.


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2004)

ZP,
Your anger can be a powerful tool that can help you beat dp. Anger and frustration are two feelings that arise when change is ready to happen (according to Dr Phil anyway). I myself got so pi**ed at the way my anxiety was stuffing up my life that I decided to go against everything that my fear was telling me to do. My anxiety was bossing me around and I hit back. Im not 100% recovered but I went from agoraphobia and constant anxiety and episodic dp to being dp free and working full time , going out and even preparing to leave my comfort zone and move across the country in pursuit of a better life (Ive yet to see how that turns out) I heard a very good saying and it goes "If you think you can't, then you must". I think you will find this board very supportive in general in your quest to beat this thing.


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2004)

zp 
i can relate to what your saying. I too have felt this way. What you have to remember is that people go on forums such as these to express their problems where as not many people come on to forums such as these to tell their stories of success. They get the help they need and then have no reason to come back.

Personally i have been reffered to this forum from another user on a forum about the dark side of drug use. After first starting to read this drug use forum i felt so helpless like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. There were so many people that had such negative pessimistic views of their situation and it was very contagious. So many people would get on there and vent their anger and fustration and get so worked up about their problem when they were having a bad day. very little got on when they were having a good day. 
just remeber that the person you once were is still there, and there is no reason why you cant be that person again. With dedication yoyu can beat this problem. you went from your normal state to a dp/dr state and there is no reason why you cant go back.


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