# Frequently Failing at Everything.



## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

I have absolutely no motivation to do anything in my life because I'm not good at anything I set out to do.

It really started with writing, when I tried to sit down and write something serious; it was something of a fanfiction, although not really canon, but that's besides the point. I uploaded it to this website and was corrected; usually I can take constructive criticism, but I was told that everything was wrong. My grammar was off, my wording was convoluted, I kept switching tenses, my characters were bland, the novel idea made no sense - I promptly deleted my creation and sent it to the depths of My Documents, along with all my other half-written stories. This is where I realized that I am not good at anything I choose.


I tried writing and, apparently, everything that I write it utterly awful. My stories often make no sense, I find myself getting frustrated through my typing and scraping it half-way, and I actually dropped out of the National Novel Writing Month that's happening Nov. 1 - Nov. 30 because I don't feel I'm capable of writing anything of that caliber. Even if I did, it wouldn't even be good.
I tried video games and, well, as much as I love video games, I'm really not good at them. 
I tried guitar, drums, piano, and singing - all terrible.
I can't socialize.
I can't make friends.
I can't be funny. 
I can't make people happy.

The list can go on for a very, very long time. That length only leads me to believe that I amount of absolutely nothing in this world. I'm not good at the things that I love to do and I'm not even good at being a functional member of society. I'm stuck in my house every day with depression, anxiety, worry, and Depersonalization - I'm not even good enough to get a minimum wage job and I've been trying for nearly a year now. My girlfriend says she loves me, but I know that I'm not a good significant other either. Who would want to date someone staying at home and wallowing in sadness? Well, clearly no one - plus, she's going to college and, although she says she'll stay with me, I highly doubt that she will.

I've seen colleges. Parties, ripped men, booze - I assume the worst because that's what I am, the worst. At everything. These feelings inhibit me from doing the things I want to do and it forces me into the most basic lifestyle possible. Get up, eat, listen to music, sleep. At least I'm good at being pathetic, eh?


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

I make music with FL Studio, it's really simple. You could try that out, now Im making music I woulda never thought I knew how to make.

Not to mention us DP-prone people have invalidated feelings about our own skills. You're probably super good at stuff but just keep punishing yourself


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## mindfulnessbl (Nov 4, 2013)

you really hard on your self.

we are all spiritual beings, no need to be good at anything, just be you is enough, thats it..

how can anyone be the best at anything when this is 7.5 billion people on the planet?

someone is gonna be better somewere! I try to just do what i can do, regardless. no comparing. just plod along and do my own thing


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

You start everything by sucking at it, so it can only go up from there if you keep putting the effort in.

I've gotten to the point where I just accept that people wouldn't even wiper their ass with most of my writing, but as long as I keep trying and other people give me constructive criticism I know I'll be competent eventually.

If you want to be good at ANYTHING you have to be wiling to start out being shit at it.


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## benman19 (Sep 3, 2014)

I haven't read your fanfic, but I can tell you that critics on fanfic websites can be very harsh for nor reason at all. Sometimes they're just unhappy with their own works and search out someone whose wiritng to pick on just to make themselves feel better. Or maybe it just wasn't your type of story to write and you're much better at others? I can't tell you, I'd have to read them to actually critique you on them, but I can't believe that they're as terrible as you make it sound.
Your style of writing posts on this forum alone shows that you're definitely capable of making proper use of the English language and you're well worded. And giving up on yourself or your works hafway through isn't the right way of solving this issue, either.
Writing, when done correctly and properly, is an art and art isn't something that's just done. The best pieces of art require a lot of time and effort, aswell as nerves.
I wanted to become a professional photographer not too long ago, my pictures were ok, but I never felt that I got really good ones. I got angry with myself, stopped taking pictures and now I've given up on what was once my dream because I didn't put enough energy into it and I thought I was bad at what I did even though frustration is normal, even healthy when it comes to art. Being extremely critical of yourself and your work is also a good thing. Many "artists" nowadays lack this, sadly, and produce absolute garbage while thinking of themselves as some sort of artistic wunderkind.

As for the social part, I know what it feels like. I'm terrible at socializing, I am too shy to talk to people myself and need to be introduced to people before I open my mouth. And even when I'm in a group of people, I tend to not speak for fear of saying something stupid. But that shouldn't stop you. If necessary, you'll always find people on the internet. But what you shoudl really do is go out there and try and meet people. If you're like me, you're gonna need some reason to go out, so best find some sort of group, club or team, somewhere where you can socialize and pursue a hobby. Maybe a book club or something, if you enjoy writing? There's lots of stuff to do, just find someting that tickles your fancy.
If you're at school or college (I don't think you are, are you?), then just try and talk to people in your classes. It might be a bit awkward at first, but most people are fine with people wanting to become their friends. And if it doens't work, don't beat yourself up about it and try it with someone else.
If you already have friends, but you just don't do stuff with them, then contact them. Ask them if they want to watch a movie or go for a meal or just hang out and play video games. You may feel that your existing friends don't like you or you annoy them (again, like me), but it's usually not the case and you're just overthinking or interpreting some of their actions or reactions incorrectly.

And don't even start with not making people happy. You managed to not necessarily make me happy, that takes a lot, but you managed to calm me down or cheer me up with some of your posts and replies so far, so you can't be that bad. You do a lot for this forum and I think lots of people appreciate that. More than you think, perhaps. And I'm sure there's a lot of people who you make happy in real life, too. You may not notice. People often say that they wouldn't be missed if they just died right here and now and in almost every single case that is just bullshit. Making people happy doesn't always mean to make them laugh. It can also mean to just exist. (Does this make sense? I'm really tired, so it may not be coherent)

As for your girlfriend, well, I don't know you personally and I don't know what your relationship looks like, but I'm pretty certain that, again, you're overthinking. Just because there are other guys who might look better than you or have more muscles than you doens't mean that she'll leave you just because of that. And so what if you're depressed, if that had been a problem, she'd probably have already left you. But she hasn't, so that's a good sign. She probably just wants to make you feel happier, so don't make it worse by worrying about your relationship. Just enjoy the time you can spend with her.

Don't think so badly of yourself.

If this wasn't helpful at all, then I sincerely apologize. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open, but I had to reply to this in some way at least.


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## WILBUR (Aug 9, 2014)

I've read some of your stuff on reddit that you've wrote.. It's pretty damn good man, I also have seen that you've gotten gold a few times for it, so obviously your doing something right


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## Wendy (Aug 7, 2013)

seafoamneon said:


> I make music with FL Studio, it's really simple. You could try that out, now Im making music I woulda never thought I knew how to make.
> 
> Not to mention us DP-prone people have invalidated feelings about our own skills. You're probably super good at stuff but just keep punishing yourself


Honestly, the only thing I'm good at is Call of Duty, but I can't really make a career outta shootin' virtual baddies with a pistol, eh? Heh.



mindfulnessbl said:


> you really hard on your self.
> 
> we are all spiritual beings, no need to be good at anything, just be you is enough, thats it..
> 
> ...


I have to be better than people or else I have nothing to strive for in life. That sounds shallow and I don't mean that I would intentionally hurt others to gain the upper-hand, but what I mean is that if someone is doing something that interests me, I have to do it much, much better than them to consider myself a valid person. It was like the time my buddy got into this MMORPG; he was top-level, with gear so advanced that it would have taken him hours to get - I loaded the game up with the full intention of being better than him. I failed, of course, but I'm just showcasing the extent of what I'll go to so I may consider myself good.



Pyrite said:


> You start everything by sucking at it, so it can only go up from there if you keep putting the effort in.
> 
> I've gotten to the point where I just accept that people wouldn't even wiper their ass with most of my writing, but as long as I keep trying and other people give me constructive criticism I know I'll be competent eventually.
> 
> If you want to be good at ANYTHING you have to be wiling to start out being shit at it.


It's just difficult knowing that I've spent X amount of months on my favorite hobby and never making any progress towards where I want to be. I've been writing for years and just can't find myself getting better at all, honestly.



benman19 said:


> I haven't read your fanfic, but I can tell you that critics on fanfic websites can be very harsh for nor reason at all. Sometimes they're just unhappy with their own works and search out someone whose wiritng to pick on just to make themselves feel better. Or maybe it just wasn't your type of story to write and you're much better at others? I can't tell you, I'd have to read them to actually critique you on them, but I can't believe that they're as terrible as you make it sound.
> Your style of writing posts on this forum alone shows that you're definitely capable of making proper use of the English language and you're well worded. And giving up on yourself or your works hafway through isn't the right way of solving this issue, either.
> Writing, when done correctly and properly, is an art and art isn't something that's just done. The best pieces of art require a lot of time and effort, aswell as nerves.
> I wanted to become a professional photographer not too long ago, my pictures were ok, but I never felt that I got really good ones. I got angry with myself, stopped taking pictures and now I've given up on what was once my dream because I didn't put enough energy into it and I thought I was bad at what I did even though frustration is normal, even healthy when it comes to art. Being extremely critical of yourself and your work is also a good thing. Many "artists" nowadays lack this, sadly, and produce absolute garbage while thinking of themselves as some sort of artistic wunderkind.
> ...


Thanks for the inspiring words.

I'm going to check out a writing club for National Writing Month on the 31st of this month. The girlfriend thing will always been on my mind, regardless, but that's only because I've been cheated on twice - it sucks. Thanks for your response, though, I appreciate you taking the time to write that all out.



San said:


> I've read some of your stuff on reddit that you've wrote.. It's pretty damn good man, I also have seen that you've gotten gold a few times for it, so obviously your doing something right


Thanks! I enjoy writing on Writing Prompts, but I'm rarely proud of them. Also, how did you know what my account was?


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## Pyrite (Mar 25, 2014)

I've been writing for years to, if you haven't take the time to compare something recent to one of the first things you ever put to paper.

I looked at my oldest piece of writing and MY GOD, it was so bad it hurt and I could see every mistake I made!

You only notice improvement when you can compare your recent work to your old

as for writing prompts, they're just practice. Don't ever go into a prompt and expect to be proud of it.

I've had a few that started shitty and I knew I couldn't salvage, so I just plowed through and finished it for the sake of finishing it.

With anything creative, you need to get used to the fact that 90% is probably going to be crap on some level. But making all that crap is how you learn to do things right..

It's all trial and error.


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## CharlieFreak (Nov 19, 2012)

Hey. Take a moment to step back. Think about the fact that you have the desire to succeed. People "who aren't good at things" don't dwell on it because they could care less. You care about contributing to something  your anxiety is probably holding you back. I find that when sitting behind a piano it is much more beneficial to just let my soul shine rather than dwelling on how many people are better than me. I am heavily influenced by them, and want to get better... but I try not to beat myself up over it. I suggest trying to get in touch ith what you love about yourself and your inner gifts (the ones you were born with) will just come out naturally


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## 3ean (Aug 14, 2014)

Solomon listen to the gap by Ira Glass. May help you understand many aspects of your life you believe you're failing at.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Ur confidence doesn't sound good at all....have u considered that u may need to start there ? Do u set urself impossible standards?
What r u taking for depression? I can recommend a natural remedy that will help u get out of low moods....chop up some garlic and put it in a cup of warm water and 1 teaspoon of honey and drink it once every morning.

U may wana look at ur inner critical voice ...that looks like a huge problems for u and that can keep u stuck in a loop.
Have u thought of some small and simple things to start off with, like if u have a lot of fear then start small...what about joining a support group where u can meet other individuals who are similar to u and trying to work thru there issues also...how about some volunteer work that is easy enough to handle ...u need to work on rebuilding a sense of ur self before u can make friends anyways

And why do u have to make people happy ?? Sounds like a trait of codependancy if u ask me....what about making YOU happy


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