# It went away



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

So I went to church this morning and felt really happy and peaceful at the end of the service. I walked out to the car and noticed as I walked that things seemed real. By the time I got to the car my dp just went away. Just completely gone and I was back in reality. Like the reality that I lived in before dp and I'm not joking that I almost passed out. It was just as overwhelming and disorienting as the shift into dp. I suddenly felt like I was thrown into another universe. I felt completely disoriented. I had to sit in the car with my eyes closed until I felt grounded enough to open them again. And then it went away. It lasted less than 2 minutes. I tried to will it to come back again but it didn't. So now I'm back in dp land. I wish it had stayed. Yeah, it sent me for a loop but so did dp and if I had to get used to feeling dp'd, I sure as heck could have gotten used to just being suddenly thrown back into reality.

But anyways you guys, I've wondered every day for the past year and a half if reality would feel the same when it came back and it does guys. It's exactly the same as before.


----------



## Guest (Mar 28, 2011)

At once this is both inspiring and also discouraging. Because it only lasted 2 minutes, I'm wondering why didn't it just stay? Are we doomed to fleeting moments of reality at best? IDK...no offense.


----------



## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Yeah why the heck won't it stay.


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

It probably went away because it freaked me out. It was completely overwhelming and I felt completely disoriented.


----------



## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

It's good to know









Thanks for reporting it!


----------



## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

i am sure thats because you were so calm and happy and "peaceful" as you wrote after church. maybe the weather was fine and you felt comfortable and relaxed. try to get into this state again, maybe by lying on your bed and listening to calm music or sleeping a little on your balcony in the sun or something!


----------



## foghat (Jan 1, 2011)

Valley Girl-

I know what you mean. I've had dp/dr for 16 plus years and had just gotten used to it over time. Forgot what reality felt like. Then this past December I really started praying about a cure and started taking some supplements. Then in January I started having these moments like you describe where I'm completely back in reality. But like you stated, I too kind of freaked out and was thrust back into the fog. The past couple months I've had more of these moments that I previously had in all other years combined. I think the fog is almost a comfort zone, a safe place from reality and that's why we go back to it. I think it's all in the subconscious. Hopefully over time we can hold onto the Real


----------



## Tree_of_Life2001 (Jan 6, 2011)

ValleyGirl said:


> So I went to church this morning and felt really happy and peaceful at the end of the service. I walked out to the car and noticed as I walked that things seemed real. By the time I got to the car my dp just went away. Just completely gone and I was back in reality. Like the reality that I lived in before dp and I'm not joking that I almost passed out. It was just as overwhelming and disorienting as the shift into dp. I suddenly felt like I was thrown into another universe. I felt completely disoriented. I had to sit in the car with my eyes closed until I felt grounded enough to open them again. And then it went away. It lasted less than 2 minutes. I tried to will it to come back again but it didn't. So now I'm back in dp land. I wish it had stayed. Yeah, it sent me for a loop but so did dp and if I had to get used to feeling dp'd, I sure as heck could have gotten used to just being suddenly thrown back into reality.
> 
> But anyways you guys, I've wondered every day for the past year and a half if reality would feel the same when it came back and it does guys. It's exactly the same as before.


Amazing!!!!! I too felt a sense of reality on yesterday during and after church but the feelings of dp started to intensify again when I started feeling dizzy in the restaurant and became very aware of this pain in my chest









Are u taking any medicine?

I pray that you are on your way to a permanent recovery! Im soooo overjoyed for you especially since you had concerns about your children.

The glimpses of reality give me hope..how about you?


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Tree_of_Life2001 said:


> Amazing!!!!! I too felt a sense of reality on yesterday during and after church but the feelings of dp started to intensify again when I started feeling dizzy in the restaurant and became very aware of this pain in my chest
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Nope, no medication. I went that route in the beginning and every medication I took made me worse.

I am happy to hear that you felt that way too and I agree that I hope that it's the beginning of permanent recovery for both of us.

Yes, they absolutely do give me hope. It's incredibly easy to get lost in the vacuum of dp, when it's been a year and a half since you last felt reality. It's really easy to sit and remember your life, remember what it felt like and know that what you feel is not what reality feels like. So to have even 60 seconds of experience back in that reality that I so desperately loved and so desperately want to get back to was really a gift from God, no matter how disorienting. I wasn't afraid of it. It just sent me for a loop. It gives me the confidence I needed to know that when my brain rights itself I will indeed return back to what I long so much for. And I know that I will return.


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

FoXS said:


> i am sure thats because you were so calm and happy and "peaceful" as you wrote after church. maybe the weather was fine and you felt comfortable and relaxed. try to get into this state again, maybe by lying on your bed and listening to calm music or sleeping a little on your balcony in the sun or something!


Actually, it was grey and rainy and cold lol. But I get what you are saying and it's a good idea for sure.


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

foghat said:


> Valley Girl-
> 
> I know what you mean. I've had dp/dr for 16 plus years and had just gotten used to it over time. Forgot what reality felt like. Then this past December I really started praying about a cure and started taking some supplements. Then in January I started having these moments like you describe where I'm completely back in reality. But like you stated, I too kind of freaked out and was thrust back into the fog. The past couple months I've had more of these moments that I previously had in all other years combined. I think the fog is almost a comfort zone, a safe place from reality and that's why we go back to it. I think it's all in the subconscious. Hopefully over time we can hold onto the Real


I am so glad to hear that! You are right, dp is a protective mechanism and it does become a comfort after a while because you just get used to feeling that way, just like you were used to feeling reality and dp freaked you out when it first came. It is incredibly encouraging that you are experiencing these feelings. I am confident that as time goes by that you will recover. I remember that back in October I was terrified of reality. Like if I would start to feel my dp start to lift a little I would freak out. I would sit and think about getting better and I just couldn't even begin to see what that would be like and I would just freak out. That is completely gone now. I'm not sure what changed but I am not afraid of reality anymore. I want it more than anything now. Maybe the same will happen for you, you will grow to not be afraid of reality.


----------



## Guest (Mar 28, 2011)

Did you feel like/perceive that sounds and sights came sort of "rushing" in at you?


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Native said:


> Did you feel like/perceive that sounds and sights came sort of "rushing" in at you?


It felt like I was suddenly transported to another planet and another reality.


----------



## Ivan Hawk (Jan 22, 2010)

I have to admit I can relate.
I've had these rare moments where I literally felt completely real with the best energy and motivation of my childhood. 
Just a sudden non-manic experience of feeling a lot of energy, but in a sense of virtue as well. 
Like I can't explain it, but it is something that could motivate one to go beyond the common ways of life and innovate and create very useful new things and ideas.

Perhaps I could label it the "DaVinci" sensation. A feeling that could give you super motivation "and" the actual execution of that motivation by completing many more goals much faster and creating new ones.

Fortunately I generally feel just more balanced these days than I felt when my DP got serious and more chronic. What's helped more than anything is the combination of many good changes and being around people more often - in fact, geniunely helping a lot of people many days throughout the week (in person) and getting paid to do so is what has really helped too.

The times my DP comes back is when I lack sleep and exercise and eat poor things like too much sugar or caffeine with no water to compensate.


----------



## Sleepwalker (Dec 4, 2008)

ValleyGirl said:


> It probably went away because it freaked me out. It was completely overwhelming and I felt completely disoriented.


I had a dose of reality some weeks ago when I was watching a musical: The Sound of Music.
I was crying, just barely, when after 1/2 hr or so I shifted back to a Dp'd state.
I had the presence of mind to look inside and you know what I saw?
A scared man; wondering whether this feeling would last; no, perhaps, that it wouldn't last. Some strong emotion tried to surface-that's where I clamped down on it by shutting down again...but, yeah it felt really good.


----------

