# My mother makes me sick



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Guilt message from my mother...

"How come u could not ring me after your appointment .u treat me very bad.u know I was ringing u to say if u were coming in Sept that I would pay for u or flavor to come to ease the burden.but u always hurt my heart so much the way u just ignore me.u don't care or respect U mother at all.I don't deserve your treatment I did lots of good things for u jessica .and each day I get in my car I have to look at that huge dent and scratches that u put on my car when I let u borrow it.and I can't pay it as I have other things to pay.and when u did it u never even told me or offered to help me pay for it.I can't take your rudeness to me anymore daughter so wrong.your mum I THINK HELENA"


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

That's bcoz she can't friggin speak properly ha ha


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Just for my partners visa


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## Guest (Sep 5, 2013)

Jessica, Jessica, Jessica... look what you've done!

You've made your mother get all upset!!

Shame on you!


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Lol..she thinks she's done good things 4 me....but when I was living there with her for a bit. She ignored me and I had to ask continuously if I cud borrow the car. She kept putting her fears and worries about me driving the car treating me as if I was a baby.

Now she's trying to phone me bcoz she is lonely & all her "kids" have left her.
I seriously dislike my mum


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Vortimi said:


> I live in my parents house now, so my mother thinks that I have to be her bitch for that and do everything that she asked me to. It's not even her house, my father paid for it with his money, which he get for his work. But he's under her heel, so he will not say a word against her.


That's my dad written all over...when i used to live at home he had such bullshit rigid rules, he used to get me to do ridiculous manual labour just to keep him happy & proud of me....he always broke his promises says he was going to give me a loan 4 my car and when the actual time came 4 him to give me the money he kept avoiding the question & situation so I was disappointed yet again by my father and had to get loan from the bank....I think I learnt from my father that people r unreliable and I can't count on anyone for anything. I can see why I became overly responsible & distrusting of others


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> Typical emotional blackmailing. Poor me, I've raised you and this is what you do to me. How cruel you are, etc.. Like my father. This is ownership, not love.
> 
> Some parents think they children owe them because they have raised them. No child ask for its life.


Yeah I don't get sucked into her lies anymore....just hearing her voice & how she speaks to me on the phone makes me sick.& angry.
Even tho she was the opposite to my dad she was extremely damaging aswell. I realized by living with her that she had never "seen me" & acknowledged me as a person. She was never present aswell, I noticed all this wen I was living with her. And I started to see that by her not being present she came across like he didn't care about me & ignored me, I always felt like a burden to her.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I think being ignored & not seen is really damaging,makes u feel like u don't have the right it exist or even speak let alone share ur feelings..


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## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

I can relate to a lot of whats been said here. Its a shame I thought I had a normal family.


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## NEEDMOREBLAZE (Apr 8, 2013)

missjess said:


> I think being ignored & not seen is really damaging,makes u feel like u don't have the right it exist or even speak let alone share ur feelings..


Not being seen or heard is very damaging, during my "realization" of tracing the roots of my DP i had a severe and powerful crying spell in which the underlying theme/emotional thought was "it has always just been me" which meant that at some point early in childhood, i gave up on trying to emotionally connect to my parents and gained an overwhelming sense that no one cared about my feelings and so that rationale played into everything i did in life.


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## NEEDMOREBLAZE (Apr 8, 2013)

Fearless said:


> I think the most hurting thing is when your parents mismirror your emotions, or act like your emotions are not valid.
> 
> My father used to come home drunk, heckling me, fuckin my nerves up, doing really intentional abuse. He went to sleep, and next day he acted like NOTHING happened. Like, nothing, at all. That's a mismirroring of the child's emotions, and the child eventually starts to question itself, and whether its emotions are valid. This was when I started to alienate myself from my feelings.
> 
> He does this to this day, he just calls me up and asks me where I will go and eat a hamburger with him. And not annoyed by the fact that I wrote him a letter about our issues.


Well said....so what does a youth turn to when trying to figure out who they really are in this world?? Television, movies, music, video games....that's America for you at least.


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## peanut butter (Nov 9, 2012)

Fluke93 said:


> I can relate to a lot of whats been said here. Its a shame *I thought I had a normal family.*


Don't worry, so do all the sufferers here think that as well.

keyword: sufferers


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fearless said:


> Once, when my stepfather beat my mom, I dressed up and ran away. I ran across the block all the way through my father's home, went to him and tell him what my stepfather just did. And my father's response was: "Because he is a good man." Instead of asking me how I feel, giving me security, etc.. he used the situation to diss my mother to me. Can't even comment.


Yuk that is disgusting!

Excuse of all time from my mother justifying my dads actions "he does it because he loves u"


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I used to run away a lot too & I got kicked out a lot.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

Fluke93 said:


> I can relate to a lot of whats been said here. Its a shame I thought I had a normal family.


Now u are learning what emotional abuse is.

Basically parents fucking with ur emotions and feeling so u grow up to be heartless just like them.


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## DarkMatter (Nov 18, 2011)

My dad used to yell at me like crazy over nothing, still does. Then 2 hours later he would be totally nice with out even acknowledging the situation.

My mom right now has been 8 weeks sober since my intervention, but I don't think it will last much longer until she fixes her self internally. She still complains all the time about her life and how she should be traveling and doing fun stuff, but she is reluctant to get a job.

My parents have no idea how to emotionally raise there kids, we all are very successful in life but all have emotional problems.


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## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

DarkMatter said:


> My dad used to yell at me like crazy over nothing, still does. Then 2 hours later he would be totally nice with out even acknowledging the situation.
> 
> My mom right now has been 8 weeks sober since my intervention, but I don't think it will last much longer until she fixes her self internally. She still complains all the time about her life and how she should be traveling and doing fun stuff, but she is reluctant to get a job.
> 
> My parents have no idea how to emotionally raise there kids, we all are very successful in life but all have emotional problems.


Sounds like u have the same parents as me....it ur dad the narc and ur mum the codependant with no sense of identity? ... Lol

And hence why we all are on here with DP


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

She is upset because u left scratch marks at her car.
forget the dp you have to deal with right now because of her manipulative parenting, the biggest sin in this story is scratch marks on a god damn vehicle. Your mother is a sub human. 
I get close to vomiting just imagining an old bitch sitting with a phone typing this feelings of disgust provoking text msg, while her rotten finger nails are getting in the way.


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

Fearless said:


> Yeah. I don't think that a parent as a human being can get anymore fucked up than that. I don't even find words for that behaviour.
> 
> This alone can be a huge participator in DP/DR. Everytime I did not live my life how my father wanted me to, he started to come up with the fact that he was feeding me, so I had to repress myself, and my anger. Because that argument seemed to be legit in my eyes back then. My father feeds me, so I have to be like he wants me to be.


same story here. With the "I feed you" thing and all.


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## heartless (Apr 29, 2013)

Also, when I would complain to my father how it hurted me when he kept me awake whole nights so I would learn not to lie about my school problems (by the way, when I had problems in school he used to beat me), his response was "look at your uncle. He beats your cousin and there are solid results" (good grades). No wonder I got so violent with him when he got physically weak and I got strong.


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