# seriously... irritating at this stage.



## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Hey guys. just feel like i need ton vent.

does anyone elses dp and irritating thoughts change all the time? seems like when one thing stops bothering me another crops up to freak me out again.

i currently feeling like i dunno what or who i am. (logically of course i know). my thoughts are all jumbled and seems my mind is trying to make sense of this god damn confusion.

I feel like i have not always been here living in this house. Yet i have memories of me here. it a feels wrong and eerie and just very far away.

i feel outside of this current reality and outside my life. Almost like i know more than what i know (i know i sound crazy) i dont actually think that, its just a feeling!

I feel cut off from everything i know and like i have to relearn things and remind myself who i am and what it is im supposed to do.

as ive said before. i think things like if i wasnt here then i wouldnt know any of this. Do i understand things correctly cause i only know them from my perspective. i was born here so i dont know any different.my mind doesnt know that i could have not been here as it only knows here. But i know. why are things the way i know them. are they really. etc. Silly but terrifying from this point of u. i cared about none of this untill dp.

I hope this is all dp related crap (even tho i have been reassured plently of times). even by my therepist whom knows alot about this.

I have moments where i can forget this when i am lost in something, and also have these moments the odd night where the cloud lifts and feels like things make sense for a minute. unfortunately the morning comes and im in total anxiety and despair again.

Does recovery happen like this. It seems the anxiety and fear of it has subsided alot. But the horrifying feelings and thoughts and general discomfort and confusion are still very much there. But as i said im having brief moments of clarity. Very brief.

I hope that this will all go when the dp does. My biggest fear is always that i have just thought in a certain way that i cant go back from and im stuck in this terrifying existential hell for ever.

anyone relate of comfort.


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## Rahkashu (Apr 2, 2014)

I relate COMPLETELY. This stage just creeped up on me and it does feel scary as hell. My thoughts are all jumbled. I feel like i cant make descisions like i used to. It really sucks. However, I'm going to get through this, and so are you.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

Thank u. And thanks for the positivity. It All sounds dp to u?


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## Rahkashu (Apr 2, 2014)

katiej said:


> Thank u. And thanks for the positivity. It All sounds dp to u?


Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. I feel all of this. I think way may just be very hyper aware of our confusion and "brag fog". I feel as if I'm constantly analyzing how my thoughts work and freaking out because I'm so damn confused about everything.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

yes thats exactly it. its like u literally analying everything! its so scarey cause u question everything u have ever known.


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## Rahkashu (Apr 2, 2014)

katiej said:


> yes thats exactly it. its like u literally analying everything! its so scarey cause u question everything u have ever known.


It really does suck. In my opinion, the worst has to be when I question the very concept of "being". It's so easy to psych yourself out when you're dp/dr'ed, it really does suck.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

what the hell is this. get it off my topic


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