# Relationship worries...perception so not cool.



## Guest (Nov 27, 2010)

Hi. Im sure many here have had relationships or lack of with dp as I. I took a giant leap 2 yrs ago with a girl with 2 girls of her own which are great. I feared always of a "normal" relationship for soooo many reasons. Understanding, low energy, constant as i am chronic...things not being real as I try and "keep up" etc. Well we have been through so much with both our issues but I have had this for 16yrs and wish it was an "issue" not an "illness" as I cant control sleep patterns..going out as much as I want at all..etc again..lol. I go and go as much as I can..sometimes Im just so miserable from the dp my perceptions get distorted and I am distant. I can be distorted without as well and it worries the hell out of me cause I love her so much...for many reasons. She is understanding as much as possible but of course doesnt know how it REALLY feels as it can be so harsh and not be understood by anyone but us here. I worry a lot cause its like a normal family life..which entails a lot, and I dont have a lot too often. I guess my perception distortion really worries me..I mean I dont know who or what I am and when I suffer a lot I can get irritable where as when I was single I didnt have to affect anyone so it didnt matter as much. I am very kind and loving, but being chronic can sure fck up things. ANYONE?

superunknown


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## BlackParasol (Nov 25, 2010)

I'm sorry you're going through this.







I can relate, my mental health issues have been hard on my partner, too.

The best thing I can suggest for both of you is to try and help her understand better. Maybe show her the introductory forums on this site (they have a lot of information), and have her read up on DP/DR. It might help her to get a better idea of what you're going through, and it might help her be more understanding when you are distant and confused. And when you are more-or-less "normal" again, show her your gratitude by thanking her for staying by your side even when you have DP/DR episodes, and remind her how important she is to you.

As for perceptual distortion, I'm having a hard time with exactly that this morning myself (that, and some weird head sensations - not having a fun morning). Something I find helpful is to remind myself that our perception changes every day on its own - I think that us folks with DP/DR are just more sensitive to those changes and focus on them more than "normies." Try to relax (I know, easier said than done) and give yourself some things to do, even if it's something simple like rearranging some shelves or even watching TV. These things usually help me to get my mind off the world looking "off."

I hope this helps.


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## Smee (Apr 21, 2011)

I can tell you from the opposite side how hard it is watching someone you love fight Dp. Its hell. As with your own fears of not being enough for that person, the one without Dp has just as many. Am I enough for this person, do I need to change everything I am and how I approach things to make sure I don't add to the chaos thats constantly plaguing his mind. I havent done a very good job Im afraid, of being what my partner needed. My own issues were too much I think for someone fighting a battle and I think our relationship may be coming to an end. Not what I wanted.

My point being, please try and remember it affects everyone and it all depends on how strong your love is for the 2 of you to get through the bad times, and trust me , there will be some. Love conquers all in my eyes. I would do anything for this man even let him go if thats what it takes to make it easier on him to function and live. Be strong, have faith. I see you wrote this back in November. Hope its not to late to give my opinion, never know I could save a relationship even if I couldnt save my own.

My heart aches for all of you who have had this problem. Happy Easter.


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