# I actually feel GOOD.



## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

DR is so strange. It's like I'm slipping in and out of it all the time. When I'm at my best I can't even imagine the terror I can get from the slightest questions... My mind is still trying to make me feel worse by thinking all the thoughts that make me feel worst. I can feel them in my mind and body, they are there... but I try to not give them attention.

Yesterday was really weird. I was really hungover and spent the day with a guy I met out partying... When he left I got to the conclusion I really like him... That made me feel somewhat normal, as I was focused thinking about how to deal with that. But then all of a sudden I got really bad chest pain and started tormenting myself with thoughts of the universe and the sky ripping open etc... I went to the couch and sat basically just staring in to the wall. I thought, well OK, come on DR kill me. I thought all the thoughts that really scare me, but tried to think them without fear - like FUCK YOU. And then it felt better. When I went to sleep I felt almost completley normal, I felt like myself and wasn't scared. But I woke up three hours later of my heart beating really fast, feeling strange again. But I managed to fall asleep and sleep throughout the night... Unfortounetly I slept maybe 13 hours, and I know that's not good for the DR.

Today I feel like myself atleast... I'm enjoying a cup of coaffee, listening to good music. I can accept this is somekind of reality, but it's still very odd why and how everything exists. I know I can get the fear back if I let the bad thoughts take over as I'm not recovered yet. When I'm at my worst I think that it's been constant fear 24/7, but I know that's not true. I actually have quite many good days.

I hope this is a sign of recovery!


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## Tree_of_Life2001 (Jan 6, 2011)

Drinking coffee doesnt make things worse for you? Usually when I drink something with caffiene or eat something with alot of sodium it makes things worse....


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

it seems like youve got the key to recovery right at your disposal. The not fearing the condition type thinking is what alliviate's ALL form of DP/DR and i have found the same when it comes to myself. The sky ripping open thing is actually due to panic. And ive had alot of that myself. But as you said. Dont give it any attention. Let it come and go and KEEP doing that. That will bring you closer to reality and also the now infact.


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## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

TheGame said:


> it seems like youve got the key to recovery right at your disposal. The not fearing the condition type thinking is what alliviate's ALL form of DP/DR and i have found the same when it comes to myself. The sky ripping open thing is actually due to panic. And ive had alot of that myself. But as you said. Dont give it any attention. Let it come and go and KEEP doing that. That will bring you closer to reality and also the now infact.


är du svensk?









Yeah.. I hope this is the way, and I realize now that the bad thoughts take more attention if you're tired or not feeling well. The trickiest part is that it's obssesive... And when the bad thoughts fight against the positive thoughts, the bad often wins because it feels like I'm fooling myself if think positive. This is typically OCD. This applies exacly the same to the "Am I real?"-thoughts.

I actually thought that I had OCD in a mild form before I went in to DR. I had quite bad obssesive thoughts before (got pictures in my head I didn't want to see) but they somehow just disappeared! Probarly bevause I started to feel better at a period in my life. I hope that DR obssesive thoughts will disappear when I remove anxiety triggers from my life. I think I've had quite alot of them... and maybe need to deal with them.

And... Caffeine doesn't really affect me more than that I get a bit tense and more sped up, if it's too much.


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

Det är jag







(skriver på engelska nu så att de andra på forumet kan läsa)

Yeah the thing with anxiety is that if your affraid of having anxiety attacks. It will run your life. I seriously in the begginning of this RAN from people or socializing...but the it was bad.

So try not to be affraid of the anxiety triggers. Face them id say. If you can manage to sum up the courage to do it. Dont stress it though. Give yourself time to face things. Because you really do need time. Time is actually the thing that can make or brake you in this condition. if you stress with overcoming DP its only going to backfire. So try your best to say to yourself frequently that "i have all the time in the WORLD!" "what am i stressing about" etc..

Vart bor du?


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## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

TheGame said:


> Det är jag
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Jag bor i Stockholm









For me is not really activities or socializing that triggers the panic... I like company because I usually feel better and can control the panic. Even in places with much people. I went by a sports arena and got a really good feeling because it sort of made me feel alive. It's usually my own thoughts leading to panicattacks... "am I real? am I real? can I really see reality through my own eyes? it's soooo strange."

The thing is... I know I've been surpressing alot of anxiety last year, and I know it's alot of stuff I have to face. But how do I do that? I don't really know what triggers I'm supposed to face... I don't know if it's better to let go or feel the pain so I can get through it. And how is it even possible to feel pain you can't notice. :/ Stupid DP.

Well. I'm having a good day today aswell actually!







Yeey for good days when you can recognize yourself and grasp this really strange thing we call "reality".


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

You dont have to look for your anxiety triggers nor pin them down at this moment. If you can find a few of them however, things that you KNOW will definately trigger anxiety. Those are good things to start of with and face THEM first. Then id advice you to just go out and socialize and continue living your life as usual. Dont stop living because of DP, It sortof feeds of anxiety and fear so its best to try to occupy the mind with something to focus on other than the condition itself. Alot revolves around thinking about that you HAVE this strange state. And 99 times out a 100 it makes the condition worse.

What i do is i try to accept the fact that it is there (whatever the DP feels like) No matter how strange the feeling or weird the thought i let everything be as it is. It is just my body reacting to severe traumatic stress and therefore you shouldnt work yourself up even more by worrying about the symptoms of DP/DR or the feelings associated with it.

The NOW is a great place to start in DP-recovery. I read Eckhart Tolle for advice on things you can do to be more rooted in the now. (witch i have found alliviates DP-symptoms ALOT) His latest book is called "The Power Of Now" and he also has a similar book called "A New Earth".

Best of luck in your recovery!


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