# Looking for some reassurance



## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

Hello people who has bothered to read my first post, this might be a little long but i'll appreciate if someone would read this. I have suffered from dp and dr constantly for about three weeks already even though i have had a few short bouts of it previously (for about a day or two) and now i feel like i want to share my story and my biggest fear related to it. I have been smoking weed almost daily for 6 years (even though i've had a few breaks in between) and two years ago i had some stomach problems that made me worry a lot about it like if i had something more serious and after a while i started to get very weird sensations in my arms, legs and face kind of like an electrical surge feeling. These symptoms made me worried that i had a brain tumor or ms or something equally nerve wrecking, this caused me to get my first panic attack ever (but not the last by a long shot) which led to quite an immersive brain fog which made me worry even more.My hypochondria led me to suspect one disease from another and this has been going on for a good amount of the past two years. I have had a few clear moments without any brain fog, one came from a confidence boost and the other came from the doctor telling me that i'm not dying, but it seems that the anxiety creeped it's way back to me slowly when i dreaded the feelings would come back, and i think it would be worth mentioning that i smoked a lot of weed during this time because it seemed that it distracted me from anxious thoughts (idiotic right?). I have had all possible tests taken and it seems that i am physically completely healthy but the shit really hit the fan this January when i was in Thailand i woke up a few times in the night to a panic attack and a feeling of unimaginable terror and this has caused me to be afraid of sleeping.When i came home i got the night attacks a few times and i woke up to this incredibly unreal feeling which made me even more terrified and it lasted for a few days. I felt like i was getting better for a few days until i suddenly woke one morning to it and it would not go away i started to get panic attacks on a daily basis, and i stayed with my mother for a few days and i was basically crying the whole time. My problem is that i do not know what has caused this, is it the anxiety and panic attacks (which would make this so much easier to handle) and my biggest fear is that my years of weed smoking has finally destroyed my brain in an irreversible manner, and i feel so hopeless because i wanted to continue studying this year and all the other plans i have been dreaming about seems to be going straight to hell. The reason i decided to post on this forum was because i feel that even though my family has been really supportive towards my condition i still feel that they dont really understand what i am going through so i thought that other people who is facing this hell or has recovered from it could help me understand and cope with this terryfing condition. So i guess my question is that is this a permanent state of mind? and i have now decided to stop with the weed for a very long time but even when i do this is recovery possible? or has the damage already been done?

Thank you if you bothered to read my story it means a lot to me (And sorry for my spelling and grammar errors english is not my native language)

Marduk223


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

My symptoms are as follows

- Dizziness

-feeling of unreality

-head tremors

-insomnia

-constant state of fear or panic

-numbness in mouth and throat

-floating sensation

- depression

- high anxiety

-head tightness


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## Freddy_Fred (Mar 4, 2015)

I sense your worry and frustration. I really empathize. While I don't know enough about drug induced DP/DR, I just wanted to say that I listened to your story and understand how detrimental it is for our plans we had in mind. I hope someone here who smoked and suddenly began to experience your symptoms will help you. We have to hang in there.


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

hanging in is the only thing we can do my problem is i am not sure if it is anxiety or drug induced, even though it probably does not matter


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## newbie101 (Nov 13, 2014)

aww reading that brought back mems for me.... that ALLLLLLLL goes away. trust me.


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## Guest (Mar 4, 2015)

newbie101 said:


> aww reading that brought back mems for me.... that ALLLLLLLL goes away. trust me.


I agree, symptoms do subside, you are still new to the DP/DR world and its most frightening in it's earlier stages, keep trucking through and you may find that your symptoms subside a lot. Don't give this more power than it deserves!


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## cheessebread (Aug 2, 2014)

Buddy please do understand that this goes away! *hugs* just give it time and do stuff that you love to do to get your mind off of it! You have to trust that the doctors know more then you! And just remember I had to deal with this for about three years before it went away but recovery is possible! I had the exact same symptoms as you!!! But now they are all gone????????


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

i appreciate all the encouraging replys  i will get through this, it is far from gone but it is a lot more bearable now. I will take it one day at a time and i am 100% that one day i will be able to reconnect with reality but i must be patient, giving up is not an option for me


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