# Welcome to the Jungle



## Martinique (Sep 6, 2006)

Hi, I've been depressed and strange my whole life, I was diagnosed with Major Depression in 1991 and recently with bipolar II. I found the crazymeds website and communicating with people who share my pain really saved me. But I've always had ...a different outlook, even as a child. To me, it was as if I was born with the unfortunate ability to see beyond the thin skin of reality, as if I could peel back the superficial layer of existance and see what I slowly and painfully realized other people couldn't see or feel or even understand. I grew accustomed to this odd man out perception of mine, and figured that in order to be "happy" others must be born with some sort of cataracts or blinders that disabled the view that I unfortunately had. So while others, went happily to their barbecues and careers and other meaningless pursuits, I sat back and knew that all their running around was empty bullshit and couldn't possibly matter when lined up against the awful truth: That solid matter was an illusion and death was all that's left to us.

At first I thought this perception was called philosophy, then existentialism, then quantum physics! Now, I realize I have mental illness. A mental illness with no cure! Thanks a lot Gawd. You can't feel special or superior to others when you have a freaking mental illness. So I guess I am just the wierd girl down the block. The crazy Aunt in the basement!

Anyway, I am so very glad I found this site, I really, really, had no idea there were other nutballs out there like me! Welcome to the existential jungle.


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## HalfAPerson (Aug 22, 2006)

Martinique said:


> So while others, went happily to their barbecues and careers and other meaningless pursuits, I sat back and knew that all their running around was empty bullshit and couldn't possibly matter when lined up against the awful truth: That solid matter was an illusion and death was all that's left to us.
> 
> At first I thought this perception was called philosophy, then existensialism, then quantum physics! Now, I realize I have mental illness. A mental illness with no cure! Thanks a lot Gawd. You can't feel special or superior to others when you have a freaking mental illness. So I guess I am just the wierd girl down the block. The crazy Aunt in the basement!


This is the first post that's made me literally laugh out loud. Trust me...not laughing AT you. The quantum physics part especially. There should be a warning: DO NOT READ ABOUT THIS IF YOU'RE CRAZY, make people sign a waiver or something. Do NOT get me started on that, Joseph Campbell, or Carl Jung.

For what it's worth, there's another crazy aunt hanging out down in her own basement. As for the "no cure" part. Hey, at least we realize we've got a problem. It's the "first step" (of exactly how MANY steps, we just don't know).


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## CECIL (Oct 3, 2004)

Its probably strange to go through and dig up old posts, but I felt compelled on this one.



Martinique said:


> But I've always had ...a different outlook, even as a child. To me, it was as if I was born with the unfortunate ability to see beyond the thin skin of reality, as if I could peel back the superficial layer of existance and see what I slowly and painfully realized other people couldn't see or feel or even understand. I grew accustomed to this odd man out perception of mine, and figured that in order to be "happy" others must be born with some sort of cataracts or blinders that disabled the view that I unfortunately had.


Can really relate to feeling very different and I have experienced similar situations as well. The only sad thing I find is that people like us who have an expanded perception of reality are the ones labelled mentally ill.

Honestly, has it occurred to you that being able to see beyond the skin of reality is actually a beautiful gift that you haven't yet been able to understand and control? What if that ability is natural to all human beings but most people blind themselves to it because that is what is expected of us?

There are many people out there who actively excercise this widened perception (whatever you want to call it): They are the Shamans, Witches, Medicine-men/women, Healers, Psychics etc etc.

You can choose to believe both you and them are simply crazy and that you will never get "well". But this notion does not serve you, it only makes you feel more weak and powerless.

Or you can choose to embrace and understand what makes you different.



Martinique said:


> I sat back and knew that all their running around was empty bullshit and couldn't possibly matter when lined up against the awful truth: That solid matter was an illusion and death was all that's left to us.


I've said it before and I'll say it again: If solid matter is just an illusion (I agree with this) and death is all that's left for us (Don't agree) then why would we even exist at all?

The answer is in the depth of reality that you have denied. Underneath that skin you can peel away is a wealth and source of life and energy that is so rich and powerful one cannot comprehend it. But we lock away our awareness of it because we are afraid that if we don't then we won't be able to fit into our current society.

When we deny this source of life and energy for long enough, we exist in a dead world. One where nothing has meaning, one where we have no life. One in which death seems the only escape but is just as menaingless and empty as everything else we experience. Experience and vitality dissolve until all that is left of our future is a hollow reflection of our dark past.

Reconnect


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