# Me and My brother



## outlaw (May 20, 2010)

Hi everyone,









I've been creeping these forums for the past 2 months enough that I decided to join. My names Meesha, and I've recently experienced dp for about two-three months now. I've been reading everyone's stories and I can relate to many of them! I was just wondering if anyone has siblings who are also dp'd?

My brother has been suffering for five years... and now I have joined him. I finally know now exactly what he's been going through. It really is bitter-sweet. I don't know how to help him when I can't help myself... all we can really do is pat eachother on the back everyday and say.. "I know, it sucks eh?"

I've had moments of derealization in my life.. but I've never woken up feeling depersonalized till now. Waking up with it is horrible.. I dont know how I've made it past the two months.. but I'm making it... and my brother sure as hell is a soldier too.

its kinda hard to get through the day when you start questioning how the chair ur sitting on is holding you up.. and then for a good 5 long minutes you start thinking how do I know I won't fall through that chair? Lol questioning whether your arms or your own ass is yours issssssss quite frustrating!


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

outlaw said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Woah.. what a huge coincidence that you and your brother have it, how did you both get it?


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## outlaw (May 20, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Woah.. what a huge coincidence that you and your brother have it, how did you both get it?


I don't remember how exactly my brother got it, I just remembered the first time he had a panic attack.. normal day.. he was just staring outside and outta no where he started feeling funny and started shaking.. and since then he's never been the same.. his panic attacks are gone but.. he feels like he completely lost himself.. living in a haze for the past 5 years.

As for me, I've always had moments where I'd feel weird.. looking at everything and everyone.. sort of like feeling home sick even when you're home.. its a weird feeling.. I donno but it's never lasted this long. I could usually distract myself and the moment would pass.. now it's just hell.

My parents are separating after 25 years.. and I'm used to dealing with stress and depression all my life.. but maybe that's what triggered the dp.. maybe I can't handle stress anymore, I don't know.. I did try weed a few times.. had a bad trip or two.. but I didn't do it recently so I don't get it.. all I remember is one day my friends were smoking weed in the car, I started feeling funny.. panicked, but then we got inside the club and I drank I was fine.. next day I had a hang over.. and felt funny.. but thought it was just a hang over.. but the feeling stayed.. and then weeks later I had a panic attack while driving.. never been the same since.. I Don't get it though, I don't know how just being around weed can make something like that happen.. my friends think i'm just parranoid.. and I guess that's what it is.. my grandmother was schizophrenic and anxiety runs in my family.. but I still don't know why only me and my brother got it from my WHOLE family.. Almost feels like someone just cursed us. (Sorry for the essay) But yeah.. now it's pure hell.. parranoid outta my mind.. don't feel connected to my body.. over thinking as hell.. I was already too deep for my own good.







when will it end


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## BlueTank (Jun 2, 2010)

Its genetic. I can pretty much trace it back through to my grandma. My brothers have it, but its different for everybody. They some how manage every day life while i've been having a hard time. I had a bad trip 12 years ago from weed and perhaps they never have, and thats made things different for me. I'm not sure.

Do you see signs of it in either of your parents? Some people just don't talk about it, but now I can see signs of it in people. For instance you can look for things like they wont look people in the eye, or they stay away from social situations. For me this would be my dad.


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## outlaw (May 20, 2010)

BlueTank said:


> Its genetic. I can pretty much trace it back through to my grandma. My brothers have it, but its different for everybody. They some how manage every day life while i've been having a hard time. I had a bad trip 12 years ago from weed and perhaps they never have, and thats made things different for me. I'm not sure.
> 
> Do you see signs of it in either of your parents? Some people just don't talk about it, but now I can see signs of it in people. For instance you can look for things like they wont look people in the eye, or they stay away from social situations. For me this would be my dad.


Yeah, my mom tells me it's genetic.. like since my grandmother was schitzophrenic.. and my mother is generally an extremely parranoid person.. and sometimes imagines stupid things from time to time and has to fight with her mind to ignore scary thoughts... on my dads side im not sure.. his mom is honestly, i dont even know what she has.. I think a bit ocd an d something else.. I'm not really sure what she has, but she is not normal at all.. apparently my grandfather was very abusive and now shes in permanent la la land. My dad also has had anxiety.. only after a traumatic event in his life.. but other then that he thinks he's normal.. even though he definitely has a crazy side

Lol my family really must be the root of my problem!







me and my bro are screwed.. but on a brighter note.. I have been feeling a bit better... I still have stupid thoughts and think I'm not here.. but im not nearly as anxious as I was before.

How are you holding up?


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## lindsayloo (Jun 23, 2010)

i have been suffering for about 6 months now, induced by a plane ride, I Had a fear of flying ,and made myself do it, very stupid!! my younger sister suffers as well, I remember us sometimes joking and being like weird your my sister, that was before mine was bad and I used to just snap outta it, now it has been 6 solid months,of d/p 24/7!! What is interesting is both of our d/p is almost exactly the same. We trip on the same stuff, and have the same crazy thoughts, even down to our physical symptoms, we were both sexually molested at the same time, are only 18 months apart in age. ours were not drug induced, I used to be a heavy drinker, but am now sober since all this shit hppened, she still drinks everyday. it is the only way she can cope. best of luck to u and your brother.


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