# My first post. Long time DP sufferer, who's totally recovered.



## DamonW (Aug 22, 2010)

Hello everyone, I'm new here. First of all, I hope I don't come off as thinking I'm better than others by stating that I'm fully recovered from DP in the title of my thread. The only reason I included that is because I'm guessing a lot of people here are primarily here in desperation, hoping to God that someone here will tell them that it is possible to beat this.

I know that's why I'd scan over message boards like this in the past, flying through it with one eye open, hoping I'd catch a quick glimpse of someone saying that "it" would go away, while at the same time praying to God that I didn't see anything telling me that I was stuck with "it" forever, terrified at how bad my physche could become if even a faceless, anonymous internet person told me so.

So if it's cool, I guess I'll look for the appropriate board to share my story on, and hopefully give someone a little hope.


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## DamonW (Aug 22, 2010)

Also, I'm definitely no doctor, and I'm sure there are numerous people here who may be more qualified than I am to give advice. But I have lived it and went through some of the same TORTURES that many of you have went through, so if anyone is interested in what I went through and how I beat it, PLEASE feel free to ask, either on here, private message or email, at any time.

I know everyone is different, but I also believe that there is only ONE key out of that mess.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

Welcome to the forum. I look forward to reading your story.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Yes, post it here so everyone can see. It can't hurt.


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## Robert (Jul 29, 2010)

I think _*everyone*_ will want to hear your story - please post it in the "Road to Recovery" section, and let us know here (in this thread) when we can read it. Thanks!

~Robert


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## Dyna (May 13, 2010)

Looking forwad to your story. Dyna


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## el_kapitano (Aug 21, 2010)

I love such big announcments and afer that- NOTHING!


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

Hey you guys wanna start taking bets?


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## may (Sep 12, 2010)

DamonW said:


> Hello everyone, I'm new here. First of all, I hope I don't come off as thinking I'm better than others by stating that I'm fully recovered from DP in the title of my thread. The only reason I included that is because I'm guessing a lot of people here are primarily here in desperation, hoping to God that someone here will tell them that it is possible to beat this.
> 
> I know that's why I'd scan over message boards like this in the past, flying through it with one eye open, hoping I'd catch a quick glimpse of someone saying that "it" would go away, while at the same time praying to God that I didn't see anything telling me that I was stuck with "it" forever, terrified at how bad my physche could become if even a faceless, anonymous internet person told me so.
> 
> So if it's cool, I guess I'll look for the appropriate board to share my story on, and hopefully give someone a little hope.


I would like to hear your story and hear how you recovered.


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## DamonW (Aug 22, 2010)

Everyone, I sincerely apologize for not coming back to finish my story. I was laid off from job a while back and lost my internet service. I tried to find this forum from a few other computers but couldn't find it. I'm back up and going now, and would like to finish my story if it's cool?

First of all, I don't know if I have the magic formula for recovering from DP, but all I can do is tell my story and how I recovered and hopefully that will at least give some of you hope that it is possible to do. I'll try to tell my story by trying to include info that is pertinent to my recovery without bogging down with useless information that nobody cares about. Or at least I'll try. There's no way I'll have enough space to cover every issue or symptom that I endured, but I'll try to include the most severe ones.

Just to give a little of my background, I was raised in a dysfunctional family, alcoholic/drug addict father, who's battled that and severe anxiety issues all his life. Most, if not all psychologists will tell you that's where my deep rooted problem stems from, although I'm not sure how much acknowledging that helped me in my recovery. I guess it didn't hurt, but simply knowing where my anxiety problems started from wasn't enough to cure me of it either.

One other thing before I start. I don't want anyone to think that I had a mild case or what I experienced wasn't as bad as what you're going though. I promise with all my soul, I suffered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week through the most hellish torture that I could imagine. So if nothing else, I suppose that you can take comfort in the fact that my story is coming from someone who has lived the nightmare that you're going though and not just someone who has studied the subject. Not that they couldn't give you good advice, but I just don't think someone could truly understand the agony unless they've been though it themself.

As I'm sure is the case with others, my nightmare started after experimenting with drugs, MDMA to be exact. A form of ecstasy which is known for causing anxiety, panic and DP related issues with some people.

As I was coming down from the drug, a thought/feeling hit me like nothing had ever hit me before. I jumped out of bed, with the worst feeling of doom that I'd ever felt. Nothing looked real, nothing seemed real, and I was SCARED TO DEATH!

After that experience, years went by where I was just a walking zombie. I LIVED IN MY HEAD 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!!! I went to doctor after doctor, who usually told me that it was just anxiety and wrote me out a prescription. So I would read everything I could about anxiety, and recognized many of the symptoms, yet never could I find a truly accurate description of what I had. Never could I find an explanation for the dream like state that I was living in, where nothing around me seemed real. It was like I was out of my own body, watching my own every move.

But the symptom that bothered me the worst was the constant, LIVING IN MY HEAD symptom. Instead of focusing on the outside world, or just focusing on nothing at all like I had done all my life, I was completely focused on my every thought, feeling, action, word, etc. It was a living hell, and I had no idea how to get out of it. I mean how do you escape yourself? I tried fighting away. That didn't work. I tried reasoning with it. That didn't work. I tried praying that it would go away. That didn't work. I tried ignoring it. That didn't work. I even tried accepting it and that didn't work either. The physical symptoms of anxiety, and panic attacks never really bothered me. Those were physical issues. I could deal with them. It was the mental issues that I was terrified of. Breathing slowly didn't make those issues go away.

I was so confused and had been told so many things that I seriously didn't know what was wrong with me. It was the scariest, most frustrating thing I could ever imagine anyone ever having to deal with. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. Pure hell. That's the only way I can describe it.

As time went on, without any real advice or help, I begin to figure out ways to cope on my own, that would seem to lessen the misery, although never quite completely get rid of it.

Over the time that I was dealing with this nightmare, I'd always see the word ACCEPTANCE being preached as the cure to anxiety related issues. But all that did was frustrate me even more because I'd tried that and it didn't work either. At least I thought it didn't.

One miserable night, while I was desperately searching for an answer to what in the hell I was going though, I stumbled upon a website where a guy was telling his story about anxiety. I figured I'd read it, figuring it would just be repeating all the other stories I'd read before, where they'd describe a few of my symptoms, but not really address the unreal, trapped feeling that I fought 24 hours a day.....But he did. I had FINALLY found someone who was describing the exact same symptoms that I had! And he was telling me that he had beat it! I couldn't wait to read how! But I'll be damned if he wasn't telling me that acceptance was the key, just like you read everywhere else. I was let down once again, because I knew that just accepting it never cured me....or at least I thought it didn't.

As I look back on it now, I realize that whenever I tried the "accept" tactic, I only accepted certain aspects of the misery. I never truly accepted every single symptom, thought or feeling. And when that didn't work, I'd give up on it and assume that wasn't the answer either.

But one day, at one of my all-time most hopeless moments, I said to myself, "look. From this moment on, I'm going to absolutely and completely accept every single symptom I have. I WILL NOT FIGHT ANYTHING. If I feel like I'm living in a dream world, then I'll just live in a dream world, and carry on with whatever I'm doing. If I'm living in my head and analyzing every single thought or feeling I have, then I'll just keep on living in my head and analyzing every single thought or feeling I have, while carrying on with whatever I'm doing. And I won't try to fight it away, even while trying to focus on work or a conversation that I'm trying to have. I'll just have that conversation while experiencing these feelings. And I'll be damned if finally, FINALLY, I was starting to truly feel relief from this nightmare, and this time, I knew that it was legit. I just knew it.

One mistake I used to make was trying to make myself accept these feelings. But IF YOU'RE HAVING TO TRY TO ACCEPT THEM, THEN YOU'RE NOT TRULY ACCEPTING THEM. There are two words that are the key to recovering from this. "DO NOTHING". "DO NOTHING." "DO NOTHING."

I know it sounds ridiculous. I know that sounds too easy. But it's really as simple as that. "DO NOTHING!!!" What I mean by DO NOTHING, is don't try any tactic, and formula, and method of trying to get rid of your symptoms. Because I PROMISE YOU, IT WON'T WORK!!!!!!!!!!! Believe me, if there's a tactic to be tried, I tried it at least 1000 times. I'm talking about a true, 100%, to the bottom of your gut acceptance of every single symptom you're feeling.

At first, it's hard. It's incredibly hard. When you first start trying to accept everything you're feeling, those hellish feelings of doom, obsessive thoughts, and intense feeling of depersonalization will come at you in an onslaught. You will feel so unbelievably uncomfortable and akward. I know it's hard, but you just have to press through.

If you will just hang with it, and "DO NOTHING", pretty soon all of the horror will just fade away and you won't even realize it did.

Everything that you're experiencing is bull$hit. Those feelings can't hurt you. They may feel like they can and they have probably given you more than enough torture, but that truly can't hurt you.

And this isn't just a one-time fix that made all of it go away instantly. It took me a few times and a few relapses until I truly figured it out. But if I ever start to feel those feelings again, and after I start trying to fight them or reason with them, I always have to stop myself and remind myself to just DO NOTHING. ANYTHING ELSE I TRY IS FIGHTING, WHICH WILL NOT WORK!!!

And after all this time and all of that suffering, I can finally say that I'm totally recovered from that nightmare. And don't for a second think that well, I must not have had it as bad. My case must have been a mild one. That couldn't be further from the truth. I was in a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week nightmare that lasted for years. Sometimes I look back and don't know how I was able to stand it. A lot of people couldn't have. I'm not saying that to brag, but you have to pat yourself on the back sometimes after dealing with that hellish misery. Sure there are scars, but I try to just be thankful that I did figure it out instead of feeling sorry for myself for having to deal with that nightmare.

Anyway, that's my story. I'm sure some of you were looking for more than something so simple as, DO NOTHING. But in actuality, that may be the hardest thing for any of us to do. But like I said, I'm where you guys were. I lived this nightmare, and I'm telling you that it cured me. And while I know that the same thing doesn't work for everyone and everyone's case is different, I'm willing to bet that if you truly follow this advice, you'll slowly start to notice your symptoms subside. I know you've probably been told that acceptance is the key a hundred times, but in order to accomplish it, you have to accept it with every ounce of your soul.

I hope that this has helped. And my internet service is up and running for good, so please feel free to ask me any questions that you want, at anytime, either on here or email. I know how horrible it is and it would be my pleasure to be able to help someone with this in anyway I can.

I'm nobody special. I'm just like you guys. I just got lucky enough to find recovery.

Remember, DO NOTHING Do absolutely nothing to try and rid yourself of your symptoms. IT WON'T WORK!! I PROMISE!! THROW IN THE TOWEL. JUST DO NOTHING. LET IT ALL BE.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

DamonW said:


> Everyone, I sincerely apologize for not coming back to finish my story. I was laid off from job a while back and lost my internet service. I tried to find this forum from a few other computers but couldn't find it. I'm back up and going now, and would like to finish my story if it's cool?
> 
> First of all, I don't know if I have the magic formula for recovering from DP, but all I can do is tell my story and how I recovered and hopefully that will at least give some of you hope that it is possible to do. I'll try to tell my story by trying to include info that is pertinent to my recovery without bogging down with useless information that nobody cares about. Or at least I'll try. There's no way I'll have enough space to cover every issue or symptom that I endured, but I'll try to include the most severe ones.
> 
> ...


Damon, thank you so much for coming back and sharing your story with the community. I just had a couple of questions: How long did you have DP in general, and how long did it take from the time you adopted your ''DO NOTHING'' attitude to the time you truly recovered? Did you have both DP & DR? I have been pretty much ''doing nothing'' for the past several months, in other words, just letting it be, but I find that my symptoms are increasingly becoming worse. I am afraid that I will just eventually become invisible, or incoherent, or just...idk, fly away? I know these are all very irrational thoughts, but everything has just become so severe. It's unbearable at times. Perhaps, I have not yet reached a state of total acceptance.


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## el_kapitano (Aug 21, 2010)

Thanks for story! It's encouraging. I'm in that hell for 8 months now and I was also reading a lot of stuff, but nothing helped so far.
I really appreaciate it. Thanks!


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## Dyna (May 13, 2010)

Hy DamonW, I have been waiting for your post. Thanks so much for coming back. I have loads of questions but insatiable has covered most of them. You story and background almost mirrors mine. I got my DP from smoking weed followed by a whopper of a panic attack. I also wanted to ask you if you found any medications helpful and did you recieve any therapy re your dysfunctional (as you put it) upbringing that you thinki was benefical. Thanks again for sharing this great success story, Dyna


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## Dyna (May 13, 2010)

And I assume you have went through the whole process of being sure that this is definitely something else wrong with me. I go through phases of being convencd that I have Lymes disease or some neurological.


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