# Fear of being delusional



## Wirebrandon91

Alright so I really need help with this major setback that I've had and I can't get over it! So I've decided to just let it all out on how it happened, first off I've been dealing with anxiety since I had my first anxiety attack last January and ever since then I developed this huge fear of going crazy or having schizophrenia anything like that, I've done so much researched and googled so much I know everything about it and it's like it's imbedded in me I know all of the symptoms so it's like I'm constantly questioning everything. Well over the summer I started to get over the fear with advice I took and not letting myself be scared of it and from July till October I didn't have the fear I thought I was almost anxiety freee, but that is when I had the major setback!

It started in October, I was watching this horror movie and I seen a guy kill someone and he didn't care at all about it and then I got the thought "could I do that" and that scared me so much! I dwelled on this for like a week and then I started to question myself like "do I actually think I could hurt someone" and whenever I did that it became so hard to answer it's like I didn't know what I thought?! But I read about violent intrusive thoughts and I got over that fear but I've always had the fear of having psychosis anything like that, but then one night I went to lay down I got a thought "what if someone going through my stuff" that freaked me totally out and then I told myself that's ridiculous and went to bed but when I woke up in the morning it was back again and just like the violent thought I started to question it too I would ask myself "do I actually think someone going through my stuff" and then it would just make me doubt myself so much and it would become so abstract that I didn't know what I thought about it again! So I started to fear that I was having delusions and made me so upset and since I know everything about schizophrenia it's like my imagination creates all these delusional thoughts to test myself to see if I actually believe this crap and of course I always ask myself "do you actually believe it" and it always becomes so hard to answer! I went to a psychologist and she said I just suffer from ocd and I'm having obsessions and that made me feel better, then I seen online someone had the same fear as me and thought that everyone was against them and then that scared me so I started to ask myself "Do I actually think everyone is against me" and I don't know what to think of it! Do you know what I mean I've read all these threads about if I was actually delusional I wouldn't know it or like delusional ppl do not question their beliefs but it doesn't help! I'm always questioning myself! So are these just intrusive thoughts is that what they do? I really need your guys advice and reassurance I just need to get through this fear!


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## godsgirl716

You said it in your headline yourself. "Fear of being delusional " it is just an irrational fear. I convinced myself I was schitzo. I swore I was hallucinating delusional and everything under the sun. Then I told myself so what of I'm schitzo. They make medicine. And they are people too. And guess what as soon as I stopped obsessing. All of my "symptoms" went away. You're not just going to snap. I promise. And they say schitzos are more harm to themselves. And the person who was in that movie...was in a movie. And yes stuff like that can occur but that's not delusional when people murder and not care. That's called 2014 and the world we live in. People who don't have morals. Stop obsessing. As soon as you do you will realize how silly you're fear was. I actually laugh at myself now. Lol


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## lovelystarkid

I've had the same intrusive thoughts, it's really hard sometimes. But they are just thoughts. I have to remind myself of this a lot. We just dwell on them when we get anxious over them, which is the only thing giving them power. I try and just dismiss them as silly thoughts when they come and just let them be, and focus on something else.


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