# You ever get that feeling that you're supposed to enjoy something but you just can't anymore because of DP?



## GroupHug (Jul 6, 2012)

During really dark, lonely, and depressing points in my life I could always go for a walk. Marvel at the buildings, the people, the trees, the sky...take in the scope of it all and not feel entirely alone or disconnected from the world.

Yesterday I go for a long walk, the sun sets and intellectually I know that it is beautiful. I couldn't feel it though, I couldn't savor it at all. It was simply an observation. A cold, detached examination.

I'm turning 22 years old today and it's just a reminder that time is passing while the feeling of emptiness is not. Not yet anyways.


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## GroupHug (Jul 6, 2012)

Vortimi said:


> I can't feel joy from people's smiles anymore, all I'm thinking when they do that is "I'm *supposed* to feel good because of this, my brain wants me to, it it is not my decision". How I'm supposed to live my life this way?


I know how you feel. I could even smile or laugh along, but the true joy of the moment just isn't there. It's because I'm not there in that moment.

We're just not "there". Luckily, one day we will be.


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## xxmdogxx (Jun 26, 2012)

yea our bodies and minds in a very non metaphysical sense are antennas that we use to tune into and experience life but dp and dr seem to bury those antenna in the sand. Some people call dp and dr enlightenment's evil twin because we seem to have these feelings of elevated or new states of consciousness and perception but we can't normalize and come back to our lives. 
I always thought being awake and being conscious was the same thing but now I know you can be conscious and "awake" but not really feel awake at all. Life will be that much sweeter when its all over.


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## Guest (Sep 24, 2012)

Jesus loves you.


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## GroupHug (Jul 6, 2012)

xxmdogxx said:


> I always thought being awake and being conscious was the same thing but now I know you can be conscious and "awake" but not really feel awake at all. Life will be that much sweeter when its all over.


It really will be.

I've tasted that kind of sweetness when getting over severe depression. In a cruel and bittersweet way that depression and this depersonalization will ultimately end up improving the way we appreciate and cherish life, unfortunately it's at the cost of precious time and robbing us of experiences of happiness and opportunities. Is it worth it? I don't think it matters...life is tough regardless and everyone deals with the indifference of the universe in different ways.

We will at least get the chance to evolve from it and move on with a new sense of inner-resilience.


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## xxmdogxx (Jun 26, 2012)

PedroSanchez said:


> If you have ever seen the movie Off Limits (1988), there is a quote:
> 
> Well, I feel like THAT turd and while I have doctors and family looking at me as I try successive treatments, inspecting me like I am supposed to enjoy something, I just remain feeling like a turd. I think then, even if I do morph out of feeling like THAT turd, I am still in a big sea of shit. Prospects look dim. Joy looks impossible. But it was not always this way, so maybe someday will also not be this way. Just cannot see it right now.


well you hit the nail on the head even if that image of a sea of shit isn't so great. Basically how I see it depersonalization is not a natural state and over time all things must return to a natural state or the lowest energy state such as less heavy things being attracted to the heavier center of gravity and hydrogen nuclei fusing to form helium. Well having dp is like throwing a ball into the air and it not coming back down, its crazy and impossible to explain but completely unnatural and given enough time MUST come down.


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## Ubiquity (Apr 24, 2011)

My mind always feels blank when I ask myself what I feel. "You're at the beach. Isn't it pretty?" Is it? I can see the ocean, the sand, and the clear sky, but it doesn't mean anything to me. "It's the perfect temperature outside and there are no clouds in the sky. How do you feel about that?" I feel the heat and the sun is blinding, but my mind isn't working correctly right now. I can't think. Especially about how I feel, emotionally. What am I even doing outside? Oh, right, just going for a walk. "You're going to the movies with your friends!" Ah...well, I'm kind of disappointed I'm wasting my money since nothing I see or watch is 'good' or 'great' to me, anymore.

That's usually how it goes. Anything that is an unusual occurence and/or should be enjoyable, really makes my dp noticeable.


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## livinginhell333 (Feb 19, 2005)

I seem to feel uneasy or uncomfortable a lot, there are instances when i can smile and laugh, and i cherish though, but they are fleeting and don't last very long.


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## kate_edwin (Aug 9, 2009)

I don't hve a feeling I'm supposed to enjoy something, I know for a flat out fact ther. Are thing I should enjoy, there are things I used to get a high off doing, and now? Nothing. Nothing at all. And not only nothing, no joy, no feeling, on top of it the disconnect the dog the distance. People wonder why i tend to be negative? Because *nothing* gives me any joy or contentment or satisfaction or inspiration. At all whatsoever. Ok so maybe there's one this this year, it lasted for litterally less then 5 minutes, for the entire year. I used to have all sorts of arts, and kids, and helping people and sharing and doing things for others, I feel absolutely nothing from any of it. The only things I'm capable of feeling for more then 5 minutes a year, is fear and shame.


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