# After almost half a year with DPD, I am cured!



## DpdNoMore (Mar 30, 2017)

So, 6 months ago, I was just a normal 19 year old living life. I was getting ready for college, going to the gym daily, working at my job, and hanging out just like any other teen at the time. Well, I've always kind have been an "over thinker" as I call it. I'd always question why we're here, how things work, why are things the way they are, and many countless questions, but the thoughts never frightened me and always went away after a few moments. One night my cousin came over with MJ and asked if I wanted to smoke it. Now, I've always been a good kid, no drugs, no alcohol, no pills, or anything like that, but in my mind I thought "hey, you're 19, it'll be a one time deal, you only live once..." so after a few moments of hesitation, I took a few hits. For around 5 minutes, I was feeling good, laughing at anything, just enjoying it, little did I know the next 30 minutes would be the worse of my life. So, after 7 minutes, I started to get those same existential thoughts, and they wouldn't go away. My mind went from, death, diseases, that we live in a false reality and anything bad could happen at any moment, and it sent me into a state of terror. My heart started beating out of my chest, I thought I was dying and that no one could save me. I went and locked myself in my room and got on my bed and finally it went away after 30 minutes. I fell asleep and woke up the next day in a totally different world. It felt as if I was watching myself through a camera. It felt like I was on auto-pilot. I felt no emotions, everything looked different, I couldn't think straight at all. I tried to take a nap hoping it would go away, but it didn't. I woke up and felt exactly the same. For the next 5 months, I had crippling anxiety from this new-found feeling. I couldn't sleep well at all, I felt like the whole world around me was fake. I couldn't follow conversations, I couldn't watch TV, everything seemed scary to me, alien if you will. I stopped going to the gym, hanging out with my friends, and started to take days off of work. The only thing I could focus on was this feeling and the thought of I have some serious brain damage. I started googling symptoms of every single disease and diagnosing myself with everything. I literally couldn't think straight at all during this time, every thought in my head was "there's something wrong with you". My memory seemed nonexistent, I couldn't remember anything at all, and this all made my anxiety 1000x worse. Every second was pure terror, I thought I'd die at any second. I had lost hope in everything, even life. I just wanted to sit and cry, but I couldn't even cry, I had no emotional feelings. I got to the point of just accepting I'll be this way forever. After 3 months of feeling like that I was done with it. I made it a point to get better, made it a goal to get out of DPD. I started reading nonstop recovery stories on this website, straying away from the bad posts and people who say you'll have it forever. I forced myself back into things, despite feeling like I was dying every second. Started going back to the gym, hanging out with friends, and working again. There'd be a few moments where I had forgotten I even had DPD, but they'd come back. Eventually these "few moments" turned into a few days and then the days into weeks, and now I have been a month without any symptoms of DPD at all. I don't think there is any certain cure for DPD, I believe mine was solely anxiety based that kept making it worse, and once I got rid of the crippling anxiety it went away. I personally believe if you sit and ruminate about it, you will continue to have it. During the recovery period I still had times where I felt like I'd never get better, but I always snapped myself back into the right state of mind. It took a lot of hard work, and a lot of willpower, but I beat it, and you can too. DPD is a very scary experience. For me, it felt like I had dementia and I was aware of having it. I had every single anxiety symptom you can think of along with depression. Once you have beat denationalization your emotions and memory WILL come back. I hope reading this helps a lot of you on the road to recovery, IT CAN BE DONE!


----------



## Brainfog_88 (Apr 8, 2017)

Glad to hear it made a full recovery! I'm somewhere near a full recovery myself. I no longer have anxiety or depression and I kind of feel like myself but my memory is still shit and that scares me. How long did it take for your memory to return after you noticed you were on the path to feeling better?


----------



## XBrave (Oct 28, 2016)

thanks this is great


----------



## dope (Aug 31, 2016)

Congratulations on beating it!

I'll admit it...I have been stopping myself from doing things out of pure fear and anxiety. After reading this, and a couple more posts, I think I'll start trying to do new stuff.


----------



## Broken (Jan 1, 2017)

What kind of thing did you do at the gym out of interest? Have been trying sprints recently, seems to be giving some relief of anxiety/tension


----------



## DpdNoMore (Mar 30, 2017)

Sorry for a late reply as I've forgotten so much about having DPD I haven't really thought to come back on here. Currently I am still DPD free and living life as I was before this whole ordeal began. I've noticed I've became a much better person because I understand that living a normal life is nothing to take for granted. Also, I created my own 6 month weight lifting plan, so it's mostly just lifting weights and listening to music with extreme passion for it. When I was going through DPD, music was just sound to me because I couldn't feel any emotion to any song, but now It feels so great to be able to listen to music and actually feel the emotion along with it. I do believe the gym was the number 1 thing that helped me beat DPD, because the passion I could put into it helped me relax and clear my mind and focus solely on the present.


----------

