# Take it one day at a time...



## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Sorry about the lenght of this, It's easy to get carried away when talking about this DP condition, but at the same time I think its important to get it all out on the table if we are to beat this... So here we go!

I have been thinking about why I feel more optimistic these past 6 months, compared to the first 6 months with this all so wonderful condition?. Sure the obvious answer would be that I was terrified by this DP when I first got it, I remember the first week or so when I realized things were not right, I did not have a clue what was going on with me. I kept thinking it had something to do with the Buspar and it still had to get out of my system. I had such a bad WD when I came off of it that it was hard to tell what I was feeling inside. I took off 3 weeks from work in hopes that I would return to normal and guess what it never happened!

I too did extensive research on this since nobody even doctors could tell me what was going on with me. Of coarse the more I read the more depressed I got! I just could not get any clear answers to what I was feeling? Was it severe Depression? Was it this DP thing (which I had stumbled upon months later) What the Hell was I feeling? Even after my second visit into the Pshc Ward , when I had a better idea of what I was dealing with I still could not get the help that I needed. My phyciatrist (at that time ) was the one of the best in the Atlanta area and I kept pushing this DP issue with him and I just could not convince him! He was so adamant that DP does not last as long as I had it. This troubled me even more?. How come these people are not educated more on this condition I asked myself! I told him of the research I had done and that there are a large number of people suffering long term with this crap, but he still was not convinced. For me the timing was at the same time I had separated from my wife (Yet Again!) and they thought for sure I was just depressed from the breakup?. So as I sat in the Hospital thinking about my plight and what was I going to do to get through all of this? I felt bad that everyone around me was getting treated for there issues and I was NOT! To get out I basically faked feeling better and was eager to get home.

The experience of three trips into this facility was a very difficult to handle, I was just one more person with a problem that drove them into this place. I was too weak to handle what I was going through. This drove me crazy (Bad choice of words) But I have always been able to handle life and whatever issues came up , sure I had Anxiety but it was not destroying my life. I had always been a go getter, I do whatever I can figure out on my own.. I have Painted All of the rooms in my home, laid hardwoods in both my kitchen and Bedroom, and landscaped a good part of my yard and so on? If something broke I new how to fix it or I would teach myself how to! I have always been resourceful!! It felt good being in control, but now I was dealing with something that no matter how hard I tried I could not get myself out of it!

Even after knowing what I was up against I still was powerless! This I believe is the most difficult part of this condition and what happens is we beat ourselves up over this. Its very frustrating to endure this day after day and even more so knowing that directly we cannot do anything about it, or should I say do anything that is going to show us instant results! Im doing a lot of work on myself right now, because I feel that this DP is my calling or wake up call?. To start out with here it is?. PATIENCE this is critical in my opinion to enable us to get through all of this! Yes I have spoke about the obvious areas such as Anxiety , Depression. I did not go into our thoughts and action enough on my other posts? Patience works in our lives in so many ways? Hell Anxiousness and impatience are pretty much related! And as I said in my earlier post ? In order to get rid of the DP we must loose the Anxiety! This is a fact! In doing this we must look deep within ourselves and really get to the bottom of what troubles us? Before the DP and now! This is hard because I constantly wonder how I now feel compared with before hand?. I use to wonder why when I would get home I would still feel on edge and not relaxed? Why? I would ask myself hek! I?m home now and I?m just hanging out and doing the things I enjoy but I?m not feeling it. I have always been upset that I could not feel more relaxed. Instead of envying someone who had more material things than I had I have broadened my vision and realize what it most important in life and now I?m envious of people who are laid back and relaxed and most of all enjoying their live the way God wanted us to! I can?t believe I never made the connection before this bout with DP? But I see how I have lacked patience throughout most of my life, hell I have always been in a hurry to get nowhere! Trying to control life is impossible and very stressful on top of that.

Im now seeing this and I am working on changing my ways in this dept to enable me to have a better life! With this DP we are impatient! We want change now (today) and when we don?t see it we become more and more impatient, we are frustrated that it keeps going on and on. Then we get resentful! This is another ugly word that is not a good quality to posses, especially when one is trying to better themselves. There is no difference than when you hold resentment towards someone, or towards something like this condition. We must let it go too! Acceptance is the key !!! As I said before I hate this crap as much as the next guy and it pulls me down just as much, But I really must say I have come to roll with it. I know that I cannot let myself get worked up over this, I must stay calm and keep the anxiety levels to a minimum. Do not fight with the DP! This is so important, the more you fight it the deeper you get. I want to be back to my old self so bad and believe me I have a lot of days where I just want to put my fist through the walls?

This is the other area that needs to be looked into also! Resentment and anger are close but not quite the same? Make sure you catch yourself throughout your day and be sure that you are keeping a level head, don?t let this DP change who you are! I have noticed that I have an even more short fuse due to my dealing with this crap. I have made it a point to address this too and its making all the difference. Self Awareness is so important to getting through this?. I don?t mean over analyze yourself or your DP, I mean tracking your bad habits and catching them and replacing them with healthy ones that in time will take hold! I have struggled with this myself and questioned if I could make the needed changes to enable myself to have the quality of life that I deserve. Its not an overnight process but in time with hard work and persistence it will pay off.

Most of all take things one day at a time! This is so important!! I learned only a few years ago to pace myself and when it came down to taking care of things around the house that I did not have to get it all done at once. If you break thing down into smaller segments it makes the job easier and most of all more enjoyable and guess what? No less rewarding either? We must do the same with this DP! Take it one day at a time, don?t look back and don?t look forward, we waste a lot of energy trying to be in 3 places all at once! This is very hard on the mind and what we want to do right now is rest it and allow it to rejuvenate itself! It?s hard enough getting through one day with this DP so save all you have for the here and now! So remember to be Patient, let go of the Resentment and Anger and take things one day at a time! Also don?t beat yourself up over this? we are not being punished because the way we have lived our lives I too had my time with drugs when I was younger and wonder if that has come back to bite me but I have since let these thoughts go and accept this DP as more of a wake up call than a punishment?

Let?s learn from this experience and use this time to become better at living a more fulfilled and rewarding life! Oh yeah! One last thing learns to be patient with your self most of all! Who knows how long its going to take to get out of this DP so we must learn to be Patient with ourselves most of all!! We all have it in us to make it through this, this is the biggest test we will ever encounter in our lives and we all are going pass as long as you can see it happening! Don?t settle for any less!

Scott


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Love your posts very much, very positive mindset and it makes me want to start fresh. Thank you very very very much!


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

meghan,

Thanks! We need all of the support that we can get...

Its a tough road to go down, as far as dealing with this DP but we can Recover as much as it seems to elude everyone. We must believe that it can happen in order for it to become a reality!

More and more I really think its a matter of getting back to our base line so to speak, not a clean slate so much but we have to do a little each day, as far as working on ourselves and in time and with some help from above we start to mend!

Do all of the things that are going to help bring your body and mind to a more healthy place, the Dp is just telling us its time to back it off and re evaluate how re have been living our life.

Thanks again for your comments!

Scott

P.S If you don't mind, what is your story... You can give me the short version if you like? I really am interested in how we all got here and what we are doing to work towards recovery...


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Hey Scott! You can find my story in the Depersonalization Stories forum. Its title is A night with weed(15 yr old story)
It describes what happened to me with a full description!

And yes, I think this condition is very hard to deal with but, it's all in how you live your life and it has to do with the mindset you are in. Unfortunately when we realize we have to change this, it makes it seem a lot easier than it really is. Ignoring thoughts is a tough process, but when you get past that I believe your DP/DR will lessen with time! It's hard to break your habits, I feel like I'm brainwashed into not wanting to change them, but I know I must! We all can get through this if we give our minds time to relax without checking in all the time =)

Peace and love! <3
Meg


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Im suprised that I never had it hit me back when I smoked like a feind....

Hell I smoked almost everyday from the age of 15 - 18 and backed it off abit from 19 -21 or so I then gave it up totaly when I was say 23 years old...

Its not right!!

Smoking pot should not make somebody to have to go through this DP experience.. Im sorry that you are having to go through this !

You are inocent compared to alot of us that let Stress and anxiety take a hold of their lives... We should have seen it comming I supose...

Nobody ever told me that smoking Pot could ever lead to such a condition, so how would you have known?

Just know you are not being punished for your actions... You just caught a bad break I guess!

Hang In there!!

Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing OK...

Scott


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Of course. Yeah, I wish I had known marijuana messes with your mind, and I shouldn't have done it under pressure either. I was scared about my mom coming home and I just freaked, I really thought I was going to die and everything just like flashed back into my head and I was just thinking, "Please god I'm too young to die!" I know it sounds ridiculous but I'm almost happy that this happened to me, it was a wake-up call for me to STOP doing what I was...who knows where I would be if I was still smoking cannibis. Also, now I will appreciate life so much more once I'm cured. The only thing is I wish I had the strength to control my mind, it's hard for me right now being young to know what everyone goes through and what causes certain things. This site is such a blessing for me! I know with effort and motivation we all can get through this in no time!


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Being able to control your thoughts with this DP is a bit difficult but it can be done... If nothing else dispute all of the crap that comes into your mind right there on the spot! Don?t allow the snowball to build up... It will make you question how you really feel inside, but take away the DP and Im sure all of your thoughts would be of the normal variety?. So just pay them no attention at all!!

Its an everyday battle but it can be won! I just got back in town from starting a job at a Air Force Base down south of Atlanta, and it really felt good to get away for a while ... things went pretty smooth for the most part and it was nice to just hang out with the guys for a few days! Throughout my day Im always pushing myself or using alot of positive self talk to keep me and my thoughts in line. This DP is more frustrating than anything else! You want so bad to be rid of it and this can make you fight with it and in the end this just prolongs things, so I am really trying hard to just go with the flow and not let it ruin my day... Keep practicing staying calm , relaxed and know that you are still in control of things, just know that its just a matter of time and you just have to be patient and take it slow!

My 14 months so far with this DP has taught me alot about myself and I just cant wait for the day this DP is gone, but until that day comes I will just keep on learning more about how to better live my life and to appreciate alot of the things I took for granite before all of this went down!

It does not how old you are its inevitable that you are going to be a changed person from this experience and it will be a change for the good that?s for sure!

This will be more than likely our biggest test in our lives and we must not take it lightly and give it all we got!

And Yes stay Motivated and Determined most of all!!! The reward at the end of all of this will be well worth our efforts!!

Keep in touch


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Yes! I agree with everything you said. Throughout this whole experience I've been learning how beautiful life is and the human body/mind itself. It's all truly amazing. You just can't let this whole thing beat you up, you have to learn to let it go and not pay much attention to it! Thank you so much for your advice and inspiring words, helps me keep my head up! The best thing for this is motivation from others =) I'm so blessed to have this site to keep my mind on the right track and to help others do the same!


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## cyberafrica (Feb 14, 2008)

Hey Scott

What you have said in your write up is so true. I truly believe this is God's way of switching the "trip switch" in order to firstly save one from a lifestyle of continuous anxiety and worry, to basically being in a space where you do not need to worry. Sounds a bit ironic, but DP/DR seems to happen, to actually protect ones mind, because if I carried on going on the same path as i was on, always being a very anxious, self driven person, never been able to relax, I reckon I would have landed up in a worse off situation physically and mentally. I really genuinely reckon it is the way the mind works to protect itself.

So yes, the 1st step to being cured, is acceptance, and not to beat oneself up about it and "ride through the storm". Use this time to dig deep and re-analyze ones life and lifestyle. I reckon that everybody who goes through this, would come out a changed person, and for the better, as it takes patience, perseverance, and backbone to get through this ordeal, but well worth it, as a true character building, and humbling experience.

Keep positive!

CyberA


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Good to hear from you Ian!! I was wondering how you were doing, since it has been a while...

We will beat this!

Just accept it for now and Keep pushing on!!!!!!

Scott


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## SistA HazeL (Aug 10, 2008)

Hi Scott,

Thought I update you on what's happening with me.

- I've already accepted my DP
- It has it's good and bad times
- I had my first session with the psychologist a few weeks ago. it was very good. 
- I'm taking medication
- Studies are good
- Mark is da man


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Way to go!!

I guess it still does not take the pain of living with this DP away but I really think it can make a difference in ones overall mindset...

You will beat this Hazel, it might take time and I know you have already put more time in than anyone should have had to, but that just shows how strong you are!!

Stay focused and tell yourself ever day how great of a job that you are doing and that you will be rewarded for you determination and hard work!

You got your whole life ahead of you and right now you are learning more about yourself and life than most will ever in thier lifetime!

You will be a better person from this experience! Even better than you already are!!

Scott


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

I know I have most of an overview of DP but just to make me feel a bit better...
what can I do to make it better? I've heard eating well, distractions and exercising countless times, and I'm going to start this right away, but is there anything else I can do? My mom doesn't want me on meds...she said if I got into this without being on meds, I can get out of it without going on them.

What exactly IS DP? Does it cause depression as well? Because a lot of the time I feel upset and like I just need to cry =/ 
And if you have anything to tell a 16 year old please let me know, I like hearing advice from older people who know more than I do... makes me rest assured I'm going to be okay and that I have good advice on what to do.

Thank you!!!


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## singer24 (Sep 30, 2008)

hey meghan,

i know how you are feeling.....im very depressed also
i cant really give any advice on how to make this go away...im trying to find the answer too!!!
i cry every day with frustration, and i have a daughter and feel like i cant connect with her properly.
what are your main symptoms???

xx


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Hey Meghan,

Let me give you my best answers, and even then its just my opinion...



> what can I do to make it better?


This is a tough question! My opinion has change alot on this recently...

Medication wise I really dont think there are any options.. unless depression starts to take hold then it might be a consideration to get on an anti depressant to help get through all of this.

You asked does DP cause depression?

The DP itself does not, its more indirect... By having to deal with this DP each and every day as horrible and difficult as it is , then this in itself will cause depression for many people.... I have read that one can be going through extreme adversity in their live and still be happy! Im not sure they were talking about DP though... So it can depend on the individual and how they accept the DP in their life.
This is where your mom could be a bit off on her opinion of taking medication... I myself gave meds a shot last year and if anything it made things worse for me ( But everybody is different ) so Since Feb of this year Im going without and I plan to stay this way. You said that you are crying alot this could be a sign of depression and at the same time could just be the frustration of not being able to get out of this crap... I cried alot last year!! I guess now I have learned to accept this DP better but Im still frustrated as all Hell!

Other things to do are about the usual things you hear on this site...

I'll list from what I think are most important...

Acceptance is Huge !

Dont fight with the feelings, just try to tolerate them and dont let them pull you down..

Avoid stressful situations if possible...

Work on your anxiety, keep a journal and track your weak spots and work on them! ( I know you said you got Dped through smoking weed so Im not sure how your anxiety was beforehand) Either way work on it! As dealing with the DP itself can raise your anxiety levels too! Try to stay calm and relaxed and just roll with things until you get better?
This will take practice but you can do it!

Try to do all of the things you did before , dont allow yourself to be held back by the DP!

Exercise! This is great for your brain and nervous system!

Diet... eat as healthy as you can! ( not that easy to do for me ) so this leads me to my next item.

Vitamins and supplements - Omega 3's , Calcium and magnesium, C, High potency B complex, folic acid and a few more I cant think of right now..

Sleep is very important and relaxation! Our bodies and minds are in a hyper aroused state and we need to get them settled down to a normal level again?

We just have to baby ourselves right now... alot of it is common sense for the most part!

One last thing keep a positive mindset! Keep track of your thoughts and step in and dispute any of the crapy thoughts that this DP will give you and just know there a part of the DP. Its really easy to start to believe everything you think is true , but our minds are under an assault so you have to be careful not to loose sight of what life really is and its not living in this DPed state...

I always tell myself to not judge my present circumstances because this would not be a fair assessment at this present time?. Its easy to believe that things are different now in your life due to this crap but things really have not change just out perception is a bit out of wack! It?s the same old world out there and don?t let the DP tell you any different!

Stay strong!

Think Positive thoughts!

Never doubt that you will beat this!!!

Be Patient with others and more than anything yourself! This is where our frustration comes from... we want to feel better today and if we fight with this then we can make things much harder than they need to be. This is an area that I have been working on the most! I want to feel and be normal again and it cant be soon enough, but we cant rush time, its going to happen when things all come together. So until then we must stay the coarse!

*We must believe in it first before it can become reality!*


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## singer24 (Sep 30, 2008)

great post scott,

im gonna follow all these tips
especially getting more sleep(cant get to sleep until 3am, then im up with my daughter at 7) so im sure thats not helping my condition!!!
and also i need to be more positive....im always crying because it overwhelms me!!
but i try to keep telling myself its just a "feeling"...im not going to die(even if i feel that i am!)

xxxx


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Sleep is so important... If you can get it ! Mine is still broken and some nights are better than others. I think the DP must have an effect on the sleep cycle? It seemed like mine tanked the moment I got into this mess!

Feeling overwhelmed is par for the coarse but I really think its all about staying centered and not letting it drag us down. ( this takes practice, and even then there will be days that we just are worse than others) It really stinks to have to deal with it every single day! It really is a full time job in itself living with this wonderful condition? But we must go on and do all that it takes! We just have to tolerate the feelings and do the best to get through each and every day, and at the end of the day treat yourself to a good dinner or a nice hot bath! Anything that you really enjoy... For me its my walks at night!

I really do feel for the many people on this site who have had this crap for quite some time... I?ve been dealing with this since July 07 and that?s long enough for me! Its going to be different for everyone... I?m just going to make sure I leave no stone unturned and will do whatever it takes, to better my chances of recovery!! For me I did have anxiety issues before all of this and I was making progress ... So I continue to keep myself inline and not allow myself to get worked up anymore on things that just don?t matter. For me it was mostly on the job stress/ anxiety that created havoc in my life and so I have been trying my best to take a more healthy approach to dealing with all of the many issues that come up during the day and this easier said than done but Im getting there.

The things that I have been working around the clock are.... Managing my anxiety, being patient, controlling anger, staying relaxed, *alot of deep breathing *when I have the time ( When sitting in traffic is perfect for this ) taking a long walk ( at a fast pace ) lots of vitamins, and trying so hard to get a good nights sleep!

And saying a couple of my main affirmations many times a day !! * I am Determined to beat this I will never give up!* & *With each passing day my inner strength grows stronger and stronger! *

It?s all about pumping yourself up each day and in time it becomes easier to do.

We just can?t let the DP have the upper hand!

How old is your Daughter Anna?

P.S Dont feel bad about crying its good to let it out! *This DP is a Horible feeling !!!!!!!!!!! * I cant even explain it to anyone, I know Im spaced out from this crap and for me thats about it, but the overall feeling from the spaciness ( I guess ) Is the worst! I guess they go hand in hand... I keep fighting through it but it does not ease the pain and discomfort that it creates! Just know you are not alone in this dept... It will get better in time and dont ever forget that! * This is not forever!!*


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## singer24 (Sep 30, 2008)

hey scott,

my daughter is 10 months old.

im feeling really bad at the moment, dont know what to do.
i feel disconnected from everything, and everything around me means nothing, absolutley nothing.
it seems to have gotten worse the last couple of weeks....dont know why???

whats your vision like????
everything looks fuzzy and bright and looks like it will dissapear any moment
this is the most scared ive been since it first started
i cant stop crying.....


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## Scott.S (Jul 10, 2008)

Hi Anna,

You have to be careful not to feed the DP with fear , it thrives on it!! It can make your anxiety go sky high and that?s not how you will get out of all of this...

My vision has gotten better in the past few months , yes it use to get blurred at times and a better description I read was its like my vision was more soft not clear...But it did at times go out of focus but it seemed to be more from a distance for me... Lighting is a little of a issue too... I always have worn sunglasses before this crap but I find I need them more now ( Or at least I think I do ) You tend to forget what it was like before the DP!

Anna you ar going to have to try hard to not let yourself get overwhelmed from it , this is so important!! You are in control... Even though things seem weird and odd. You have to talk to yourself throughout your day and just tell yourself that you need to stay calm and just accept the feeling and not fight with them... When we get scared we tend to loose our control and most of all loose site of that its all in our own minds! Hard to grasp but true... It will take time but you can master it! You will still have the feelings but you wont let them get the best of you...

Im just about there but here is my best tip! Watch out when you start to sit and think about it too long , its almost like your getting drawn in and then you really can feel like crap! So as soon as you catch yourself doing this break it up and go do something to get your mind on something else.

You have to break the cycle! The more we think about it the worst it gets... Yes you will never be able to get it out of your mind but dont let it have center stage.. Push it to the background of your mind... you know its there but your not going to give it much attention.

Are you getting help with your daughter? Its got to be hard with this Dp... But at the same time you have one hell of a reason to keep fighting on too!

Just try to do some deep breathing, give yourself some time to relax a bit , just dont let your anxiety get out of control... You have to be self calming and try as much as you can to roll with this and not let it consume you most of all!

You can do this!

I'll be around keep in touch ok? Anytime you want to talk!

Scott


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