# Feel like I don't have bad dp anymore . but I am not as happy as I thought?



## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

I just feel like it's there. When I look at people they look wierd. I feel like myself again which is great. There is just something there. Hard to explain
Anyone else felt like this before?

Manda


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## Alex617 (Sep 23, 2015)

Yeah this is me pretty much. I've not had the severe symptoms for a few months now, but I feel 'different' and not entirely comfortable just being like I once was.


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## sunjet (Nov 21, 2014)

If you ask me and a lot of others. In the process of recovering in the end there is always a "last stage" where you have something in the background, its a lingering feeling that makes you feel somehow off. You feel connected with yourself, you know all this is real, everything seems ok and even no anxiety symptoms, you just feel "not right", and it lasts quite long and can bring you up some setbacks. Don't worry about it, it will pass.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Yup, I was feeling the same way for about a month and it was getting better and better, but I had a set back for a few days. I am now feeling like I am back at that stage again.

Many people describe this stage in their process to recovery, it will pass but may take a while.

I was wondering, does this mean that DP is recovered, but DR still persists?

I was reading some of Tommygunz posts and he mentioned his DP recovered first, but DR lasted for quite a few months after that before getting better.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

Yeah. I feel exactly how you guys are describing.. when I look outside it seems fake sometimes but I don't really care.. asking as I feel connected to myself I'll be happier.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

Y does it take so long to feel 100 percent better lol I don't understand
I haven't had a panic attack in just under 2 years. Just lingering thoughts. Is it still anxiety?


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## sunjet (Nov 21, 2014)

It's more the fear part. Anxiety is a response to your fear. Maybe you don't feel anxious, but your thoughts still manage to keep your fear awake (for example the fear that it will never go away or it will get worse). Once you let that fear down and forget about these thoughts, you'll be 100% recovered.


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## Guest (Jun 19, 2016)

Is it possible that the intense experience of dpdr was so traumatic that permanent damage was done to the brain? I mean, from a chemical stand point.


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## partiedtoohard (Feb 24, 2016)

I can confirm the exact same feelings - I have described it as almost an attack "hangover". Where you really don't feel any severe symptoms, but things just feel a bit "off" like it lingers in the back of your brain.

It has been 5 months since my panic attack with Marijuana - and I hear a lot that this phase is the final and longest to recover. I still cant go very far at all without thinking about what happened - some good days I can go an hour or more if i stay busy. It seems though that the though is just like a scratch in the back of my mind, instead of taking up my whole thought processes.

This too will pass, keep your heads up people. We will get trough it. Focus on the fact that everything up until this point has healed - there is no reason why this wont heal as well.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

True


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

Hey guys, I can totally relate to this. Ever since most of my symptoms have subsided a couple of months ago I have felt a huge void like something is "off" or just doesn't feel right. The only time I feel happy is when I drink and socialize at the weekends but lately I have been drinking 3-4 times a week to make myself feel better. I feel slightly depressed and the world doesn't look as familiar as it used to. Even though I am connected to reality again, I am still a far bit from being how I was before this all happened. I woke up really tired yesterday after a really deep sleep and lots of alcohol and I felt really depersonalized when I woke up, something I haven't felt in months. It put me into a crazy panic and I was terrified and angry, but as I started to wake up more and more it subsided and today I was just feeling "normal" again. I was so glad because I can't go through this again. I've come back on these forums for some reassurance and it helps to know i'm not the only one feeling like shit after DP/DR recovery.


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

partiedtoohard said:


> I can confirm the exact same feelings - I have described it as almost an attack "hangover". Where you really don't feel any severe symptoms, but things just feel a bit "off" like it lingers in the back of your brain.


This is also how I would describe it, like that anxiety "hangover" you get after a panic attack. I can live with it, but I just feel like my head has just come out of a washing machine. The depression is the hardest part to deal with. I just feel like I want to cry half the time at the thought of what I have went through and the uncertainty of whether this is how I will stay or even worse, if DP/DR were to come back again.


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## Mansoor (Jun 17, 2016)

Mike let me clear one thing u are not fully Recovers yet.
And feeling Normal is good as it is a Recovery phase.
And u had a set back of Dp. Well u ate on the right path i also feel something is off all the time something is missing and there is a wall bw reality and Dp.. 
I read on this forum that it is the lat stage of dp and it will take few months and obe day u will be 100% back to reality and when it happenes u will know the real you. 
Actually whenever u feel something is off that is the mild dp/dr all the time. U feel normal bcoz u and i are used to the severe dp effects thts y.
Anyhow u are in the right path and this is thefinal stage of recovery and will ake some months to behonest 6 to 7 months


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

Wish I could drink. I'm terrified still. Which I guess means I'm full of anxiety. Lol


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

For me mornings are my best time for feeling normal and connected but as the day progresses it starts to slip a little and I feel mild DR. It is not as bad as it used to be by any means when it was a lot more intense and chronic but enough to really annoy the shit out of me and makes me question my recovery.

It seems like i'll feel fine up until I go outside and then it starts to hit me and my head feels weird and the DR sensation is almost instant as soon as the sunlight hits my eyes. Last night for instance I went to the gym after work, had a good workout then when I left the gym and walked around NYC, even though I am totally aware of my surroundings, there is still like a thin fog in my vision and a little numbness in my head preventing me from being totally connected to my surroundings.

Whenever this happens it brings me to the verge of tears and I start thinking "is this how it's always going to be" or I think about the affect this has had on my life up until now and it makes me want to break down. It's not that bad every day though and somehow lots of exertion in the gym seems to make it worse.

All I can do is think back to how much better it's gotten in the past few months and try to get on with it.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

Mike_NY said:


> For me mornings are my best time for feeling normal and connected but as the day progresses it starts to slip a little and I feel mild DR. It is not as bad as it used to be by any means when it was a lot more intense and chronic but enough to really annoy the shit out of me and makes me question my recovery.
> 
> It seems like i'll feel fine up until I go outside and then it starts to hit me and my head feels weird and the DR sensation is almost instant as soon as the sunlight hits my eyes. Last night for instance I went to the gym after work, had a good workout then when I left the gym and walked around NYC, even though I am totally aware of my surroundings, there is still like a thin fog in my vision and a little numbness in my head preventing me from being totally connected to my surroundings.
> 
> ...


Wow. Everything you said is exactly like me. We should be friends lol. If I had someone close to me that felt this exact way I would be so happy.

Thank you !


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## Mansoor (Jun 17, 2016)

I can Relate to it 100% 
I've been fcing Derealization for 7 months. I feel im at 90% great sometimes at 95% then relapse to 70% but from 2 weeks stuck at 90%. When i wake up i feel fine great and fresh like i used to before DR. I go outside do my work have fun with friends and Talk to them for hours face to face without feelings of DR (i am serious)But when the time passes and the night time comes then i feel myself The episodes of DR AND I USED TO THINK THAT I WILL BE LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ETC ETC
BUT THEN AGAIN THE NEXT DAY IS A NEW DAY AND I GEEL FRESH AND AGAIN THE NIGHT TIME SUCKS. 
I think our brain feels tired and again the defense mechanism starts (DR) by the brain.
When i sat 90% 
It means i feel there os something missing all the time in the background but i dnt have now the bad Thoughts and Checking up the heart beats and Overthinking feelings.


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

Mansoor said:


> I can Relate to it 100%
> I've been fcing Derealization for 7 months. I feel im at 90% great sometimes at 95% then relapse to 70% but from 2 weeks stuck at 90%. When i wake up i feel fine great and fresh like i used to before DR. I go outside do my work have fun with friends and Talk to them for hours face to face without feelings of DR (i am serious)But when the time passes and the night time comes then i feel myself The episodes of DR AND I USED TO THINK THAT I WILL BE LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ETC ETC
> BUT THEN AGAIN THE NEXT DAY IS A NEW DAY AND I GEEL FRESH AND AGAIN THE NIGHT TIME SUCKS.
> I think our brain feels tired and again the defense mechanism starts (DR) by the brain.
> ...


Yea if my DR isn't affecting me something else is and it's always a fear of my heart. I'm 31 and in the last year I've had several ekgs, a stress test, been to the cardiologist etc and they say I'm fine but the worry is always still there. It's like if I get a good day with little to no DR, something else is making me anxious. It probably indicates that my anxiety is feeding my DR. I've made good progress managing my anxiety over the last few months and I'm almost positive that what's made the DR fade since my DR wasn't brought on by taking drugs.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

How is sleep for you guys? I feel like when I go to bed too late or don't get a full 8 hours sleep, then the following day my DP is really bad and I feel like I've relapsed. But when I get a great night's sleep I wake up feeling fresh and as close to 100% as possible.


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

I don't have an issue with sleeping but I tend to go to sleep around 11:30pm and wake up at 6.30am for work, this is a good nights sleep for me. If I don't get around 7 hours, I will definitely have more chance of having DR for most of the day. Being tired definitely makes it worse


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## Mansoor (Jun 17, 2016)

From paiul David book At last a life
"You need to reach the stage where it no longer matters if those anxious feelings are there or not. They just become a nuisance in the background. I knew I was reaching recovery well before I did, as the symptoms no longer bothered me to the point that they affected my day. I had also given my body the break it so craved and my symptoms were far less severe, the good days far outweighing the bad. I went from having no good days at all, to some good and some bad. This proved to me that for the first time in years I was heading in the right direction and that it was only a matter of time before I was my old self once again."


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

I agree . I sleep the same hours as Mike.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

I'm so glad I read this post and everyone's comments this is exactly how I've felt for a bout 6 weeks now 90% better but something is missing its a bad feeling because I start to think is this as good as it gets . But I'm glad a lot of people are having this same feeling well I'm not glad anyone has this feeling cause its horrible but nice to no I'm getting better thanks guys this is a great help forum


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

I think we are on the right track. We just need to ride it out. Time is a healer.


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## meltdowner (Jan 14, 2015)

Sometimes when stressed i completely forget about dr cause my brain is too occupied. Since i dont feel anything with dr..regardless if i have stress or dont..i feel like stress can make me emotional and distract me from the loneliness of DR. Im not saying stress is good..but if im doing absolutely nothing but roaming about..it distracts me from the loneliness.

However with people since i am not alone, i prefer to feel stress free so i can have a good time and i know i wont feel lonely.


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## mjones (Mar 26, 2016)

you are probably in the same boat as me, I feel like me, I sleep great, I'm pretty excited again. but thing is people......ppl look lifeless. do you know what I mean? they don't got color to them. weird to explain. world looks good tho. brain fog is pretty much gone.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

Yes mjones. I am not connecting with people very well.


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

Yesterday I had to work and had been out drinking the night before so was really tired when I woke up. When I went outside walking around looking for a Starbucks open I had bad DR and it was scary. I didn't freak out though cause I knew I was tired and low and behold after a good sleep I was back at work today and felt 100% better.

I wonder how long this shit is going to stick around for? I feel like I should cut down on my drinking and get more sleep because it definitely isn't helping my recovery. I've been very anxious about my heart too, after a heavy night drinking, I've started to get the odd skipped heartbeat too which freaks me out and almost gives me a panic attack. It's so hard though, it's like I need it at the end of the week after suffering feeling like this.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

Wow I'm dying to feel comfortable to drink lol ! I haven't drank in 2 years (more then 3 beers) ... still terrified as I feel like that is what caused the dp to surface.


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## illmatic (Apr 16, 2016)

Mike_NY said:


> Yesterday I had to work and had been out drinking the night before so was really tired when I woke up. When I went outside walking around looking for a Starbucks open I had bad DR and it was scary. I didn't freak out though cause I knew I was tired and low and behold after a good sleep I was back at work today and felt 100% better.
> I wonder how long this shit is going to stick around for? I feel like I should cut down on my drinking and get more sleep because it definitely isn't helping my recovery. I've been very anxious about my heart too, after a heavy night drinking, I've started to get the odd skipped heartbeat too which freaks me out and almost gives me a panic attack. It's so hard though, it's like I need it at the end of the week after suffering feeling like this.


Definitely take it easy. Don't play with fire. I was feeling close to 100% but after a few nights of not sleeping good and back to drinking coffee I sort of relapsed. Id give anything to be back at that 99% stage right now. Don't underestimate how far you've come and don't take it for granted, trust me.

I think when you are at 99% you should work even harder to recover and keep doing the things you did to reach that point. It's easy to fall back into old bad habits.


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## Guest (Jul 6, 2016)

Has there been any research into sleep and DPDR? Sometimes I think mine is caused more by lack of sleep than anxiety. That my mind is suspended in between a state of sleep and a state of awareness. This may be causing the altered mental state we find ourselves in.

Everything looks and feels like a dream because technically we're still half asleep.

I would also sleep walk as a young boy, and there have been times throughout my life when I've woken up and had no memory of turning the tv or air conditioner off during the night.


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## Mandaaa101 (Jun 18, 2016)

I'm not sure. Mine definitely was not from sleep I get the "perfect" amount.


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## Mansoor (Jun 17, 2016)

Just be patient with yourself and learn to live with it. When it becomes manageable and you can go through your day without letting it scare you, that is how you know it will be gone soon. Hope this helps and i wish you the best of luck!


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## Mike_NY (Dec 10, 2015)

Do any of you still get spells of DR? I've had them last couple of days in work maybe on the milder scale than before. I'm not sure if it's because I'm eating a big meal or if it's going outside afterwards and being in the direct sunlight without shades on. But when I come back inside my work building I feel a bit disorientated for a while. Like I've been up all night and I'm running on caffeine and I have a little dizziness to accompany it. Most of the time I feel 99% though so I TRY not to let it get me down. I definitely feel sleepy after it so I know tiredness is a contributing factor.

I definitely think it's the sunlight causing sensory overload coupled with not enough sleep. I think back to this time last year when my DP/DR started and wonder how the fuck I ever got in this mess to begin with.


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## Mansoor (Jun 17, 2016)

Check this link
http://www.itsjustafeeling.co.uk/depersonalisation


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