# Sometimes I just wish..



## Meyeen (Jun 23, 2013)

..that I could be religious or something. Believe in this god so many are talking about. I wish I could, cause it seems to give a lot of people comfort and then I would not be on my own. I would have someone to turn to.

Sadly, I do not believe in a god. I've tried, but I just can't accept it. I mean.. No, I can't. Especially the gods/allahs from the arabic religions. I had a traumatic event with religious fanatics in my early teens, and then later I have tried reading the bible, and have read quite a lot of it, but mostly it makes me annoyed and more sure of that I really do not want to be a christian. I have the Quran too, but haven't gotten around to read it yet.. Trouble concentrating, you know.

Buddhism is closest to my heart, but as I do believe in the soul, I'm not a buddhist either.

I don't know what my point is with this post. I rarely do. I just wanted to somehow express my longing to believe in something.

Questioning is good. Knowledge is good. But sometime I miss believing. Because I am almost always unable to believe in even the things that I know.

And it would be nice, to have someone to turn to, when I am all alone. And I am alone almost always.

I like being alone, most of the time, but when I get all anxious and feel terrible, it would be nice to have... someone..


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## Guest (Jun 30, 2013)

Meyeen said:


> And it would be nice, to have someone to turn to, when I am all alone. And I am alone almost always.
> 
> I like being alone, most of the time, but when I get all anxious and feel terrible, it would be nice to have... someone..


*hug* <3

I lost God through my battle with DP, but having recovered now, I believe again. I don't think you need to stick to a strict religion. Believe in what works for you. Make up your own beliefs. That's what I do now. I just believe in what I think is reasonable, and that is that I think there is a God, a man like (or even called) Christ seemed possible so I believe in that, and I believe that we need to use our free will to be good and kind in life, not to use it to do the opposite. I believe that I never chose life, life/God chose me to live. I believe in souls as the energy within us that cannot die when we do. Nobody says you have to stick to one religion, apart from religious extremists.

I have felt as alone as you feel in the past, spiritually and socially. If you want to ever talk you can PM me


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## SorR3n (Jun 24, 2013)

Hey! I know how you feel. I feel somedays as if I have lost all connection with God, Spirit, Krsna, the universe, or whatever human words we use to define the undefinable. To me, all religions of the world, all these seemingly separate concepts of "God" are all connection with the same thing. Each culture has it's own connection with that which is beyond our human conception. When you look at the universe, how can you possibly say that our society is all there is? The fact is you cannot put your finger on God, for it is ultimately beyond us, but you CAN experience it. In fact, we all are parts of God, we are god, because nothing in the universe is separate, how could it be? we experience it everyday, because we are it, it is just a matter of being aware of it. don't try to trick yourself into believing in something you don't fully believe, that is false faith. spirituality and finding god is about finding TRUTH, your own personal way to truth. Each of us has a different pathway there. I do not consider myself a christian, a muslim, a unitarian, etc... But I read each religious text with the same reverence, because beyond our conscious mind lies a part of us that can identify the truth, and the truth is deeply rooted in every truthful human expression divinity. I agree with what Delicate has to say about not sticking to any particular religion, but you could go to church or temple and see if it resonates in you. Develop your own ideas. Even science is highly spiritual to me, the magnificience and beauty that we are constantly discovering about the universe, it proves there is so much more to uncover, that we are so infinitesimal compared to the totality of it all. DP really pushed me in a spiritual direction because I lost my ego and all sense of reality, and was left with nothing, but I feel it gives me a unique viewpoint at times where I can just BE, and not BE anybody, just BE a part of it all. Also, people would come into my life and say the perfect things to me, give me spiritual books, or I would find a message in a song, and it would remind me WE ARE ALL CONNECTED, EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED. God can speak in many ways, often times through signs, like finding a fortune cookie fortune with exactly what you need to hear on it. Like cells make up our bodies, so does each human make up a greater being, and so on and so forth. There will always be a part of you that will doubt, like right now a part of my ego is telling me that I'm fucking nuts and nothing I'm saying makes sense, but the greater me (the part of me that is connected to the infinite) knows that I DO know what I'm talking about (although I am rambling lol). Try to get in touch with your intuition, because thinking too much can only take you so far, and people with DP/DR like us think far too much. Sometimes you need to learn to stop questioning, stop thinking, stop defining, and just experience life as it is (although with DP it is hard to stop incessant thoughts). It is worth striving for though, because when I have been able to shut my mind off, I am overcome with a sense of well-being and knowledge that is beyond myself. The mind will always find a way to doubt, but beyond it, there is a you that is deeper and less transcient, a you that KNOWS instead of THINKS, and it can bring you great peace. There is so much more to life than what we think, I can't even begin to imagine! Just have faith that it is there and try to start finding it. Ask and ye shall recieve, meaning if you ask and wish for god to be in your life, it will, because mind is matter and we create our reality, this is the power of consciousness. Also try to feel love and compassion for all life on this planet, because love is truly the connection between all life, It will bring you out of your DP!

WOW >.< what a long scattered post! I hope some of it made sense. Just know you aren't alone, no matter what. I love you, even though I don't even know you, I love everyone on this planet. That's what Jesus wanted us to understand, him and all the other spiritual leaders that have been on earth. So I hope you find some salvation in these words and Delicate's words. These are all my own opinion's, please don't think I'm flaunting them as ultimate truth, but I feel there is truth to them and there is truth to everyone's experience. Fare thee well!


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## SorR3n (Jun 24, 2013)

OH yeah, and dude, you're not alone. We all feel so fucking alone and crazy, unable to talk or think or remember a thing. Feeling we lost all our friends and even our family. We think there is nothing left, that this is a fucked up dreamworld, a living nightmare, each day the same as the last with no way to tell time apart. We feel anxious and scared all the time, thinking the same thoughts over and over. We think that we suffer for no reason, that there is no reason for anything. that the world is fucked up and unfair and cruel. Corporations and the evil people in power run the world, pollute and destroy the earth, and enslave us with the media, working meaningless jobs that feed the machine, and by catering to our desires in order to control us... My response to that is that we DO suffer for a reason, it is to make us stronger, and to push us towards thinking and living in the right way. I have DP because my thought process is completely twisted and I never learned to love myself or form my own identity, I have also been greedy, selfish, ignorant, hateful... We all have been... We all have sinned. We make our own suffering, we make our own world, individually, and as a collective. After getting DP/DR I feel I'm a better person, because I realize that this suffering was brought on by my own unhealthy ways of thinking and acting, brought on by my fears and my weaknesses. I will continue to suffer until I face myself and change myself. Until I start seeing we are all connected and starting acting out of love, love of myself, and love of others. This is spirituality, to me. Some call it karma. It's yin and yang, the suffering exists to create balence, it exists to push us towards the light, so let it. It truly is all in how you percieve the problems at hand, if you self-pity, it can only hold you down for longer. Just know that you are loved.


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## Guest (Jun 30, 2013)

SorR3n said:


> Hey! I know how you feel. I feel somedays as if I have lost all connection with God, Spirit, Krsna, the universe, or whatever human words we use to define the undefinable. To me, all religions of the world, all these seemingly separate concepts of "God" are all connection with the same thing. Each culture has it's own connection with that which is beyond our human conception. When you look at the universe, how can you possibly say that our society is all there is? The fact is you cannot put your finger on God, for it is ultimately beyond us, but you CAN experience it. In fact, we all are parts of God, we are god, because nothing in the universe is separate, how could it be? we experience it everyday, because we are it, it is just a matter of being aware of it. don't try to trick yourself into believing in something you don't fully believe, that is false faith. spirituality and finding god is about finding TRUTH, your own personal way to truth. Each of us has a different pathway there. I do not consider myself a christian, a muslim, a unitarian, etc... But I read each religious text with the same reverence, because beyond our conscious mind lies a part of us that can identify the truth, and the truth is deeply rooted in every truthful human expression divinity. I agree with what Delicate has to say about not sticking to any particular religion, but you could go to church or temple and see if it resonates in you. Develop your own ideas. Even science is highly spiritual to me, the magnificience and beauty that we are constantly discovering about the universe, it proves there is so much more to uncover, that we are so infinitesimal compared to the totality of it all. DP really pushed me in a spiritual direction because I lost my ego and all sense of reality, and was left with nothing, but I feel it gives me a unique viewpoint at times where I can just BE, and not BE anybody, just BE a part of it all. Also, people would come into my life and say the perfect things to me, give me spiritual books, or I would find a message in a song, and it would remind me WE ARE ALL CONNECTED, EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED. God can speak in many ways, often times through signs, like finding a fortune cookie fortune with exactly what you need to hear on it. Like cells make up our bodies, so does each human make up a greater being, and so on and so forth. There will always be a part of you that will doubt, like right now a part of my ego is telling me that I'm fucking nuts and nothing I'm saying makes sense, but the greater me (the part of me that is connected to the infinite) knows that I DO know what I'm talking about (although I am rambling lol). Try to get in touch with your intuition, because thinking too much can only take you so far, and people with DP/DR like us think far too much. Sometimes you need to learn to stop questioning, stop thinking, stop defining, and just experience life as it is (although with DP it is hard to stop incessant thoughts). It is worth striving for though, because when I have been able to shut my mind off, I am overcome with a sense of well-being and knowledge that is beyond myself. The mind will always find a way to doubt, but beyond it, there is a you that is deeper and less transcient, a you that KNOWS instead of THINKS, and it can bring you great peace. There is so much more to life than what we think, I can't even begin to imagine! Just have faith that it is there and try to start finding it. Ask and ye shall recieve, meaning if you ask and wish for god to be in your life, it will, because mind is matter and we create our reality, this is the power of consciousness. Also try to feel love and compassion for all life on this planet, because love is truly the connection between all life, It will bring you out of your DP!
> 
> WOW >.< what a long scattered post! I hope some of it made sense. Just know you aren't alone, no matter what. I love you, even though I don't even know you, I love everyone on this planet. That's what Jesus wanted us to understand, him and all the other spiritual leaders that have been on earth. So I hope you find some salvation in these words and Delicate's words. These are all my own opinion's, please don't think I'm flaunting them as ultimate truth, but I feel there is truth to them and there is truth to everyone's experience. Fare thee well!


<3 this  it's so unbiased and I wish the world was full of more of it.


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