# Have I really died?



## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

I think I know now what real DP is. I've been hit with a very strong wave of it ALL day, and I feel, and almost believe that I have died. I don't feel like I exist, whatsoever. This isn't me. I just don't feel aware whatsoever. I can't explain it well b/c I feel incoherent. It's like my brain is all scrambled up and I'm trying to fight my way thru it. Fight my way through this darkness, this blindness in front of me. I remember what being alive felt like, I remember what feeling like having ''life'' inside you felt like. What the fuck happened? Why do I feel like I have died and am about to disappear or dissolve at any given moment? This is it. Do I die now?

Please God, if you hear my voice....please shock me back to life. I can't seem to ''snap'' out of this at all. I want ''reality'' back. I want to rejoin the normal human experience of just being ALIVE and EXISTING. What I have, what we have....is soo far away from the normal human experience.


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## hulKK (Aug 9, 2010)

I think about the same thing, ask the same questions and say the same prayers everyday.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

I am for sure going to ask my psychiatrist about ordering me some Nalaxone. This is dissociation beyond belief, and I can't function in life when I feel like I have died. This is an acute dissociative spell.

https://www.thieme-connect.com/ejournals/abstract/pharmaco/doi/10.1055/s-2004-827243


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I hear you.


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## el_kapitano (Aug 21, 2010)

don't fight it


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## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

insaticiable said:


> I am for sure going to ask my psychiatrist about ordering me some Nalaxone. This is dissociation beyond belief, and I can't function in life when I feel like I have died. This is an acute dissociative spell.
> 
> https://www.thieme-connect.com/ejournals/abstract/pharmaco/doi/10.1055/s-2004-827243


Have you taken Nalaxone before?


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Visual Dude said:


> Have you taken Nalaxone before?


No, but I've taken Naltrexone (the pill form) and it wasn't effective. Nalaxone can only be administered intravenously. It's a last shot resort. If this doesn't work, then I'll have to find other alternatives. I just want to give it a go and see if I will respond to it.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

insaticiable said:


> shock me back to life.


have you ever been on a rollercoaster? 
i swear, i was sooooo afraid, i totally felt REAL and present because of the fear. 
but it wasnt a negative fear, it was excitement and fun! 
try it.


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