# Parent of DP teenager



## DeepeeMom (Jun 8, 2012)

Hi everyone.

I am the mother of a teenager who has been experiencing depersonalization for about 3 months. Her DP was triggered by smoking pot for the first time (17 years old). We have an amazing mom/daughter relationship and I want to know from a sufferer's perspective... Is there anything I can do to help? We talk extensively about it, go to therapy (helps some), tried meds from her GP (didn't help much), next stop is the psychiatrist. If I could ease her mind or take this condition myself, I would without hesitation. From what I have read, most people experience this on small levels at some point in their lives, but I don't think I ever have (other than the classic heart-racing panic attack) It's hard to relate.

What can I do to help?


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## Guest (Jun 8, 2012)

DeepeeMom said:


> Hi everyone.
> 
> I am the mother of a teenager who has been experiencing depersonalization for about 3 months. Her DP was triggered by smoking pot for the first time (17 years old). We have an amazing mom/daughter relationship and I want to know from a sufferer's perspective... Is there anything I can do to help? We talk extensively about it, go to therapy (helps some), tried meds from her GP (didn't help much), next stop is the psychiatrist. If I could ease her mind or take this condition myself, I would without hesitation. From what I have read, most people experience this on small levels at some point in their lives, but I don't think I ever have (other than the classic heart-racing panic attack) It's hard to relate.
> 
> What can I do to help?


Honestly I think you are already doing everything you can to help, you're there for your daughter and are trying to figure out what this is like for her. Talk to most people on here, they will most likely say there parents don't have any idea what the condition is really like for them. Being a positive factor in your daughters life and helping her through this will do nothing but benefit you both. As far as DP itself, its different for everyone, but basically think about the hazy feeling you get if you've ever smoke marijuana. Multiply that by about 100 and then add fear and anxiety on top of it, thats the jist of my DP at least. I wish both you and her the best, feel free to ask any questions you have!


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

The quickest cure for dp is for the mind to feel safe. It's basically a defense mechanism of the brain that gets stuck on and only goes away when the person suffering no longer fears it and feels safe. I have had dp twice, this time for almost 3 years. I have been hospitalized in the psych ward twice, been to a few counselors, tried 12 different medications and here's what I've found to be most helpful:

Realize what dp is and what it isn't. Despite what a lot of people like to think, dp is not a mental illness. Doctors, counselor, psychologists seriously don't know very much about it. I have seen over 50 various healthcare professionals and only met 3 who actually had a good understanding of dp. Most of them have been trained to believe dp is a SYMPTOM of another condition like anxiety and depression and in their ignorance, try to treat dp like you would anxiety, depression or other mental disorders. And 99% of the time, the dp either does not respond or the medications given actually add new and worse symptoms. This was the case for me. I finally had to end up on a daily dose of Klonopin for the anxiety and take vitamin b12 and D3 for the depression. As I said before, dp is basically a protective mechanism of the brain against a perceived threat that gets stuck on. It is NOT an illness. It's a defense mechanism. I've used the illustration of a sneeze many times before to describe it. A sneeze is a defense mechanism of the body against foreign invaders. Something goes up our nose and we sneeze. If you sneezed you wouldn't freak out thinking you were dying and run to the doctor and take every crazy medication known to man to prevent it from ever happening again. It's just part of how the body works. So just as you would not seek to cure a sneeze, you should not seek to cure dp. It is basically the same thing. The brain perceived a threat and felt it had to disconnect to distance itself from that threat. Yes, it feel like a living hell. I will not deny that. It's weird and scary and extremely hard to deal with. But in reality, dp can never physically harm you. It's not an illness and we should not seek to cure it. We cannot cure it. Because of the complicated neurobiology of the disorder, medications are not going to help. So it needs to be viewed as a natural body process. One that is uncomfortable but ultimately not harmful. It needs to be accepted, not feared and that is the key to recovery. Because dp feeds on fear. If we fear it and how we feel or anything else in our environment, it keeps telling the brain that it needs to keep that protective mechanism on.

I've had dp twice, the first time for a week and a half, and the second time now for almost 3 years. There was a huge distinct difference in circumstances that I believe allowed me to recover extremely fast the first time and that was feeling safe. When I first got it I thought I had simply taken too much medication and gotten seretonin syndrome. I was terrified of the sensations the first few days but after I googled my symptoms and found seretonin syndrome, it seemed to fit. I very clearly remember the exact moment I read about it and that it goes away within a few days. Everything in my body relaxed and I BELIEVED I was going to be fine. And I recovered within a few days. I only got it a second time because I was in an abusive relationship and my brain kept being fed the fear signal. And the second time I got it, I knew I did not have seretonin syndrome. So I googled again and found this website and one of the first things I read was "There is no treatment or cure for dp". That sealed the deal for me having it again for a very long time. I believed that I would not be ok.

So the moral of this story is that you have to make your daughter believe she is going to be ok. Because she will be. I would estimate that 99% of people who have this disorder recover. It very rarely stays for long periods of time and that is usually from brain damage or severe childhood abuse. So if you daughter hasn't read this site, don't let her. It will only freak her out. Give her a safe home environment and tell her that this is just a temporary thing that will go away. Help her to live her life as normally as possible despite how she feels and help her overcome her fear of the sensations. Stop taking her to doctors because they are all fools who are not educated about this condition and inadvertantly usually just make it a whole lot worse. If she's having severe anxiety and panic because of the sensations, look into getting her a low dose benzodiazapine to take for a short period of time and teach her how to do relaxation techniques. Just allow her to be in a safe place both physically and mentally and it will allow her brain to turn off the fear response and return to normal.

Something I also HIGHLY recommend is buying the book "Overcoming Depersonalization Disorder" by Fugen Neziroglu. It is AMAZING. It explains the disorder, therapies, and coping techniques in great detail. I seriously believe that it is the key to recover. Just leave out the part at the end where he talks about there being no cure for dp. In my opinion, that's bs. The cure for dp is in our own minds. Just because doctors can't cure it with a pill or a laser doesn't mean there isn't a cure. I am a living example. I recovered once and am almost back to normal again after almost 3 years. I had it so badly that I didn't leave my bed for a year. If I can recover, anyone can.

Good luck and let us know how things go.


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

I'd advise you to not waste your money on various treatments/medications/supplements. There is no magic pill or nutrition capsule that will cure this. DP/DR is simply a defense/coping mechanism. I know you want to help your child, but this is something that she will have to come to terms with on her own. In my case, it get so severe that I sometimes come close to completely losing my grasp on reality. But fear is what keeps it alive.

A perfect illustration of how DP/DR is simply a loop kept alive by fear is a story I read about a young girl. As a child, she would have episodes of DP as a result of trauma, but she did not fear it. She would embrace these opportunities to disconnect from the outside world. DP made her feel safe. But the rest of us intensely fear it, and that only keeps it alive. Our minds only know that we're afraid, and since that fear is real, the only thing it knows to do is further detach us from reality.

All of us go through periods when we are convinced that we will never get well. That's what makes it so hard to recover. No matter how difficult it is, someone with DP has to carry on with the mindset that all is well.

EDIT: I'd also like to note that DP/DR can be extremely weird in terms of how quickly it can go away. I've had it completely disappear within a day or two only to come roaring back a week later. I've had it flick on and off on a day-to-day basis. The thing keeping me from recovering right now is that I'll have a good day and then get extremely impatient that it doesn't immediately subside, which causes it to stick around longer. Even those who maintain the proper state of mind (i.e. all is well, this won't last forever) can take a long time to recover, while others have had it randomly disappear one day.

The key for your daughter is that she handle the anxiety and stay calm. If she can stay calm and believe that she will make a 100% recovery, she'll be fine.


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## actor_bs (May 26, 2012)

I had my first DP episode when i was teenager. very rough time.. when i couldn't cope anymore I decided to talk to my mother and sister, even i was very scared that they'll think I'm insane, but I had to.. they could't understand, and even I didn't know that it's a disorder that meny people have. but they showed concern, gave me support and I really started to feel better. I want to say that it's a great thing that you know about her problem, even you can't understand how it really looks like.. talking with someone about this gives great relief. so show that you are there for her, talk about her emotions, create safe enviorment and she will feel much better for sure...


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