# Anyone Else Get This?



## Guest (Dec 7, 2009)

I seem to have this hyper awareness of myself. It isn't just the constant self checking that we all do. I think it's called reality testing. Anyways, for example, my dp makes me feel like I am in a dream. Just like in dreams, everything just seems to happen and I have no real awareness of what is around me. Well, I get this like super hyper awareness and I am constantly thinking like "Woah! Your eyes are open. That means you're awake. Woah you're in your bedroom. Woah your hand just moved, etc". It's really hard to explain. It just like I am super aware of every move I make, every thought I have.

Anyways, just wondering if anyone else gets this.


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2009)

I get that too,

I'll be in a room and go "Wow!! An Alarm Clock." or "Whoa, my hands!!". I think it's a sign/stage of recovery. It's seeing reality sharp again after being numb so long. I can imagine a full blown recovery moment would be like being a child again. LIKE WHOA!!!


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

yeah its commonly referred to as not suffering from dpd/dr. I am envious.


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## JumpJump (Jun 24, 2009)

I've been getting more and more moments of this lately. It's like: I'm swimming in the depths of my constant, cyclic, obsessive thoughts but suddenly I break the surface and become aware of something, and I'm taken aback by it, shocked by reality.

It happens a lot in relation to identity. I'll remember something that's happened recently and think "Jesus, that was me, I did that. I am a person."

I'm often shocked by the simple realisation that I exist.

I hope it's a sign of recovery - but shouldn't reality be mundane, familiar, just like being home again? Certainly not startling, not a novel thing to shock a person.


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## DamianGrey (Dec 2, 2009)

Wow, this just happened to me recently, where i noticed i had hands..
I've been feeling like i'm going crazy, yeah i get all of these all the time, i'm glad some people here knows what its like and we are not alone.


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## Tommygunz (Sep 7, 2009)

i have been having this for a little while two, kinda freaks me out at times.it's almost like when you wake up out of a day dream, the same way how your like "whoa, where the hell was my mind". in that same sense an action will do the same thing. like drink a glass of water and be like "whoa, i just drank a glass of water". hard to describe.


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## guest123 (Dec 2, 2009)

Mmmm yeah it comes from the constant self monitoring/obsessive thinking. It does go once you stop being so impressed by it, much like most of the DP symptoms tbh.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

Thats one freaky avatar you got there *Semismile*. And surprise surprise, you?re from michigan. You guys are very well represented on this forum. I really wonder what it is about Michigan and dpd/dr... It looks like a great place to me except sadly the increase in declining areas. Anyone who thinks Obama and his puppetmasters really wants what is best for the majority of the population needs to think again. It is Bush all over again but worse. Sorry for the offtopic there, couldnt help myself.


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## FoXS (Nov 4, 2009)

i notice that very often, but i feel more like "h??? oh, there is a door suddenly!" because i walk like in a dream, and then i notice that something has gone wrong, or that i fear that something could go wrong.


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2009)

i agree that if it were recovery that it wouldnt be so startling. i increased my dose of lamictal last night and woke up with it super bad. its terrifying. everything is so clear that its like its screaming at me. its overwhelming...


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## Guest (Dec 7, 2009)

i agree that if it were recovery that it wouldnt be so startling. i increased my dose of lamictal last night and woke up with it super bad. its terrifying. everything is so clear that its like its screaming at me. its overwhelming...


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2009)

Surrender to it, see if that makes it any better. Peace.


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## DamianGrey (Dec 2, 2009)

Thanks, (about the avatar thing) and, I didn't know there were alot of people from Michigan here, maybe us michiganians are just really sick :-o


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## kryptobs2000 (Dec 6, 2009)

> I hope it's a sign of recovery - but shouldn't reality be mundane, familiar, just like being home again? Certainly not startling, not a novel thing to shock a person.


Reality is what you make it, it's all in the eye of the beholder. If you view it as mundane than it will be. Every moment _can_ be a novel, unique experience, just let it happen. I do believe this is a strong sign of recovery. Just because it's startling is not a bad thing, you've forgotten who you are because DP has controlled your life for so long. Finding yourself again can be a very scary experience if you let it, I went through the same thing. I'm glad that you're feeling better.


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## dancintrulife (Jun 18, 2009)

Yeah I get super alert when I'm dp'd or hyper aware, of every little thing, every speck of dirt around me, every little noise, it drives me mad.


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## dancintrulife (Jun 18, 2009)

Yeah I get super alert when I'm dp'd or hyper aware, of every little thing, every speck of dirt around me, every little noise, it drives me mad. I do the self monitoring too, to make sure I'm not going pyschotic.


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## DamianGrey (Dec 2, 2009)

when i experience DP (which is 24 hours out of the day :\) i feel as if its a dream, so i isolate myself in my room for hours until I go to bed. My therapist knows of this, he thinks i might be overlooking alot of it, (which i think hes wrong). I feel as if everything here in front of, all of my surroundings are just unfamiliar to me, i wonder if there are stages to DP


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2009)

semismile said:


> when i experience DP (which is 24 hours out of the day :\) i feel as if its a dream, so i isolate myself in my room for hours until I go to bed. My therapist knows of this, he thinks i might be overlooking alot of it, (which i think hes wrong). I feel as if everything here in front of, all of my surroundings are just unfamiliar to me, i wonder if there are stages to DP


That's exactly how dp is for me too. The feelings of the world around you being unreal and unfamiliar are actually derealization and the feelings of yourself being unreal or being attached from yourself are depersonalization. I have both 24/7. I didn't have any additional stuff start until I tried Effexor and that threw things really out of whack in my brain. I started having slight paranoia and really rapid thoughts that didn't seem like mine and I couldn't control them. They were constantly telling me how everything wasn't real, how it was all a dream, how I wasn't real, etc. I don't know if that is "hearing voices" or not but when I started on lamictal it took that 99% away. THEN after a few days everything that I posted about (the hyperawareness) started after starting lamictal. I am going to keep taking it because it IS helping me. I feel like I am getting a lot of reality back. Last night I discovered that if I take 1 mg of ativan instead of the .5 I was on, which wasn't helping my anxiety anyways, that it numbs me out and shuts the hyperawareness off. The crappy thing about ativan is that its really addicting and you get hangovers from it. (really groggy and have a headache).


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