# does anyone have children??



## missjess (Jun 1, 2012)

I'm curious to know if there are any mothers out there who have this...I have recovered immensely in terms of anxiety symptoms etc and I can do normal things now however I still feel disconnected from my body and emotions..

how does this affect you being a mother? I ask this because I have recently discovered I am pregnant and I'm not sure what to do about it ...it's to my ex bf..


----------



## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

missjess said:


> I'm curious to know if there are any mothers out there who have this...I have recovered immensely in terms of anxiety symptoms etc and I can do normal things now however I still feel disconnected from my body and emotions..
> 
> how does this affect you being a mother? I ask this because I have recently discovered I am pregnant and I'm not sure what to do about it ...it's to my ex bf..


Hi







I have 3 kids and know of at least two other mothers on this site, both of which went through pregnancies with dp. I got dp when my youngest was two, so I cannot speak to what it is like to have dp while pregnant. One member told me that when she discovered she was pregnant, the joy of the pregnancy made her dp go away. The other told me it was only difficult because she was sick and disconnected with two other children to care for.

I've thought a lot about pregnancy and have wondered how it would affect the body when you have dp. I honestly think it's probably a very good thing in general. I read a book about dp/dr called Overcoming Depersonalization Disorder by Fugen Neziroglu My link and it goes into detail about the fact that the sensations of dp are caused by abnormal blood flow in the brain as well as an imbalance of several brain chemicals. When pregnant, the blood volume in your body increases significantly, so it stands to reason to me that this could only benefit dp symptoms. Also, I can speak from my own personal experience with pregnancy. For me, pregnancy was also a joyful time. Even with my first pregnancy when I was only 16. At first it felt like the world was falling apart because I was only a teen and my life was changing forever. But once I had accepted that, I was able to move on an enjoy the pregnancy. All of the anticipation of this little person growing inside of me and getting ready for that person to be in my life. All of the planning, building the nursery, collecting clothes and necessities for the baby, getting to wear cute maternity clothes, having baby showers. It all was something wonderful and joyful to me. And let me tell you, there is no love in this life that compares to the love that you feel for a child. Your baby will be born and even with the dp, you will be surprised at how you never knew you could love another person so much. With each of my children, there was always this period after their birth where I just felt so happy that nothing in the world could bother me. Being woken up every 2 hours, he feedings and changing, none of it bothered me because I had so much love for that little person. There is just this bond between mother and child that doesn't compare to anything else. I mean, who else can know someone who intimately? Your child is growing inside of YOUR BODY. You get to feel every flip and kick and hiccup while the rest of the world goes by completely unaware. Your baby will know you and you will know him/her before they are even born. And when the baby is born, your heartbeat, your voice, your smell, your arms will be the thing that will comfort it most and it will love the most. It's such an amazing incredible experience.

I honestly think that it will be a very positive thing for you. Looking back at my dp, there honestly came times when the only thing that kept me from ending it all was my kids. I lived for them, I loved them, I got better for them. It sounds like you have already made positive progress in recovery and nothing helps recovery more than positivity in your life and putting your focus outside of yourself. Having a baby will certainly do that. And if you have a good support system, if you have friends and family who can be there for you and help you care for your little one, it will make it all that much easier.

I know that any pregnancy is scary going in and it has to be even more scary to face with dp but I honestly believe that you will be so glad that you went through it all because, in the end, the reward is the single most precious beautiful experience in the entire world. Children truly are a joy to have in your life. I look at my kids every day and my heart aches because it so full of love for these little people. They are so beautiful and I feel like the luckiest person in the entire world to get to be their mother and experience their love for me every day. There's truly nothing better in this entire world.


----------



## SugarSweet (Jun 25, 2012)

missjess said:


> I'm curious to know if there are any mothers out there who have this...I have recovered immensely in terms of anxiety symptoms etc and I can do normal things now however I still feel disconnected from my body and emotions..
> 
> how does this affect you being a mother? I ask this because I have recently discovered I am pregnant and I'm not sure what to do about it ...it's to my ex bf..


I am a mother of 4. I didn't know I had DP until recently. I was diagnosed with anxiety about 5 years ago. Now that I know what is wrong, it makes it easier taking care of the kids. I always felt like I was in la la land before and couldn't even function. I would forget to send lunch money, help with homework, etc. I don't think they ever realized I "wasn't really there". I will set reminders on my phone now. They are actually a great help for me (of course therapy helps too!). They kinda bring me back down to earth so to speak. They give me a reason to keep going and something to focus on. It is still hard though. Sometimes I just want to let the DP take over and live in my mind where nothing hurts. I wish I would have known I had this when they were younger though. I feel like I missed so much of their lives.


----------

