# Please help- crazy visuals-share experiences



## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Ok so Im terrified. Ive been having DR/DP since getting off xanax in januaury... and it hasnt let up. Im starting to get more scared as im seeing these flashes of color/light/shadows.. they dont last long and often go away when i blink or are out of the corner of my eye but they scare the shit out of me. occasionally theyve been shapes..i also get bad visual snow and crazy after images of lights and the tv and sometimes other objects. I also see trails and halos. Of course my first conclusion is ok im hallucinating im going crazy. Ive seen multiple doctors and told them about this and none of them have heard of it, but they refer to them as more "illusions" and dont seem alarmed by it and dont think its an indicator of Scitz or psychosis... but I cant be convinced. and ive researched it online and cant find out if this is dp or just crazy. Please respond- and share...im afraid to even open my eyes. It makes me so hypervigilant. It makes it worst doctors dont know what to tell me!


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2012)

this is NOT schizo or anything psychotic. This is DR and hppd like symptoms. Its neurological. I have alot of those problems too. Maybe you should see a neurologist and get an eeg or something. Alot of what you are explaining is symptoms of migraines. Could be silent migraines if ur not actually feeling anything....


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

tamtam said:


> this is NOT schizo or anything psychotic. This is DR and hppd like symptoms. Its neurological. I have alot of those problems too. Maybe you should see a neurologist and get an eeg or something. Alot of what you are explaining is symptoms of migraines. Could be silent migraines if ur not actually feeling anything....


I have seen a neurologist and got a cat scan and mri...this stuff didnt start till my cold turkey xanax withdrawl. The neurologist and eye dr suggested occular migriane- but theres really no way to prove or disprove it- although I do get a migraine (with pain) a couple times a month and have for a couple years. But i find it hard to believe im getting these visuals all day- and I always have some silent migraine that didnt start until after xanax ? and I dont get these visuals when i have an actual migraine with pain and never have i just get senstivity to light and sound. So it leads me to believe thats these color blobs and flashes and shapes will soon turn into people or elephants or some crazy hallucination... like there going to keep growing from illusions and inanimate shapes swirls lines to something that looks real to me. Although I usually can tell that these illusions were just a trick of my eye I still shitting myself half the day. and i read somewhere online visual hallucintations can be shapes and flashes so i am totally freaked right now!


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Also I have used rec drugs in the past- amd had trailing after them but not all the visuals. Can dp make hppd like visuals- and does Hppd indicate a perm trip? cuz thats what my life feels like seriously. this sucks dude.


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2012)

No it doesnt indicate a permanent trip. Stay away from drugs and let your mind and brain heal. These arent "hallucinations". These are visual distortions. Ive had them for a long time now and it hasnt gotten any worse really at all. Maybe a tad better idk. But anyways, these things are common with DR and hppd like symptoms. DR is really detachment from the outside world but alot of people like to include more hppd sort of stuff along with it. Hppd can give off a feeling of dp/dr. But when the anxiety is taken care of the dp can disappear or go down. Also, the point that u made about having this shit when u stopped xanax cold turkey shows that it could very well be withdrawal symptoms. benzos can give nasty as hell withdrawal symptoms. I also suggest you get an eeg done. Alot of dp/dr people get one. Just in case.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

I have the same! I didn't post anything because I didn't wanna see people jumping into wrong conclusions, such as "You have schizophrenia" , I totally get you man this is just freaky


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

tamtam said:


> No it doesnt indicate a permanent trip. Stay away from drugs and let your mind and brain heal. These arent "hallucinations". These are visual distortions. Ive had them for a long time now and it hasnt gotten any worse really at all. Maybe a tad better idk. But anyways, these things are common with DR and hppd like symptoms. DR is really detachment from the outside world but alot of people like to include more hppd sort of stuff along with it. Hppd can give off a feeling of dp/dr. But when the anxiety is taken care of the dp can disappear or go down. Also, the point that u made about having this shit when u stopped xanax cold turkey shows that it could very well be withdrawal symptoms. benzos can give nasty as hell withdrawal symptoms. I also suggest you get an eeg done. Alot of dp/dr people get one. Just in case.


Ive been wanting to get an EEG but last time i went to the neurologist she convinced my mom it wasnt necessary- becasue I havent had a seizure since my xanax withdrawl. Maybe ill talk to her again. Its just my medical bills are so high with all the doctors. What kind of visual distrotions do you get? I just cant tell if mine are like others with this or worst or something different, and professionals dont have answers so im trying to find out from actual sufferers. My dr diagnosed me with protracted withdrawl but damn its been 6 months im starting to doubt it more and more and have convinced myself im becoming worst and its gotta be something else for having lasted so long.


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

PositiveThinking! said:


> I have the same! I didn't post anything because I didn't wanna see people jumping into wrong conclusions, such as "You have schizophrenia" , I totally get you man this is just freaky


Im afraid of the responses as well but i just want honesty, and some answers. What is your visual stuff like? Im trying to see if its normal for dp and dr the visual stuff i expereince- or if its something worst or getting worst.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Plur said:


> Im afraid of the responses as well but i just want honesty, and some answers. What is your visual stuff like? Im trying to see if its normal for dp and dr the visual stuff i expereince- or if its something worst or getting worst.


Yeah me too I guess, I just didn't think it'd matter since I was on my way to recovery, anyways I often have these "flashes" that appear out of nowhere, I keep seeing things in the dark, whenever I'm on the computer (which has been quite a bit lately) I look to the left/right because I'd swear I saw something, also happens when I'm laying in bed and it freaks me out so bad really... sometimes I just get so tired of seeing these flashes and things in the shadow that I just lay down for a while with my eyes closed.

By the way fixing the previous post, "I totally get you girl" sorry about that

Edit: This comes along with huge headaches and pressure in the head, forgot to mention!


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Yeah me too I guess, I just didn't think it'd matter since I was on my way to recovery, anyways I often have these "flashes" that appear out of nowhere, I keep seeing things in the dark, whenever I'm on the computer (which has been quite a bit lately) I look to the left/right because I'd swear I saw something, also happens when I'm laying in bed and it freaks me out so bad really... sometimes I just get so tired of seeing these flashes and things in the shadow that I just lay down for a while with my eyes closed.
> 
> By the way fixing the previous post, "I totally get you girl" sorry about that
> 
> Edit: This comes along with huge headaches and pressure in the head, forgot to mention!


Yeah I do have headaches and pressure behind my eyes often but doesnt seem a correalation to the visuals time frame wise the flashes happen like all day. How do you find your way to recovery? especially while expereincing the scary visuals? It really disturbs me the most what i might see.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Plur said:


> Yeah I do have headaches and pressure behind my eyes often but doesnt seem a correalation to the visuals time frame wise the flashes happen like all day. How do you find your way to recovery? especially while expereincing the scary visuals? It really disturbs me the most what i might see.


Well I've had this for 3 years now and at first I kept on insisting that there had to be some sort of medication for it, something that would give me some relief, later on I realized that there was no such thing and that I had to fight this myself, yet I didn't fight it like I should, everytime a symptom became less noticeable I instantly obsessed with a new one, I've had so many phases with different symptoms all this time and I came up with the easiest conclusion ever, doesn't matter how many symptoms I get it's only gonna keep on getting worse until I actually don't give a crap about it, I struggled a lot with existential angst before I thought I was more than dead back then, yet here I am, now I keep on seeing things, it's just DP/DR doing its thing again and I can't pay attention to it, even if it scares the hell out of me once in a while.

I'm not saying it's easy, also we can't just ignore it all the time you'll have moments where you feel like nothing is ever gonna change and that the symptoms are just getting worse, but worrying about it is just worse as it will build up more anxiety, I get kinda desperate once in a while but not like I used to, also my paleo diet and exercise seem to do wonders about every single symptom, right after the exercise the symptoms kinda get worse I have no idea why but it doesn't last long and then I feel awesome


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Well I've had this for 3 years now and at first I kept on insisting that there had to be some sort of medication for it, something that would give me some relief, later on I realized that there was no such thing and that I had to fight this myself, yet I didn't fight it like I should, everytime a symptom became less noticeable I instantly obsessed with a new one, I've had so many phases with different symptoms all this time and I came up with the easiest conclusion ever, doesn't matter how many symptoms I get it's only gonna keep on getting worse until I actually don't give a crap about it, I struggled a lot with existential angst before I thought I was more than dead back then, yet here I am, now I keep on seeing things, it's just DP/DR doing its thing again and I can't pay attention to it, even if it scares the hell out of me once in a while.
> 
> I'm not saying it's easy, also we can't just ignore it all the time you'll have moments where you feel like nothing is ever gonna change and that the symptoms are just getting worse, but worrying about it is just worse as it will build up more anxiety, I get kinda desperate once in a while but not like I used to, also my paleo diet and exercise seem to do wonders about every single symptom, right after the exercise the symptoms kinda get worse I have no idea why but it doesn't last long and then I feel awesome


Thank you for the encouragement your awesome







. Ive read that during excercise it gets worst so your not the only one ive read that various places. Im the same way with my symptom im usually obssesed with one which i guess is anxiety but unfortunalty my do has been comlicated with actual physical withdrawl symptoms (I have protracted withdrawl from xanax- had seizures and convulsions and shit back in january- been fucked up since) and was diagnosed ptsd. So mine is def comlicated and i have severe anxiety and panic attacks. Im a mess. Im on month 6 so i guess as time goes by hopefully i wont get worst or go crazy and with time maybe ill except things will be ok. I dont know thats the hope that keeps me fueled. Other wise i would have jumped out a window. The symptoms i have been most obssesed with lately though have been my visions and the fact my whole body has been numb since april or may not like numb/tingly in the sense i cant feel touch but i feel like air or jello and just like a pair of eyes. Im actually gonna write a post about it because i cant find anything on it.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Plur said:


> Ive read that during excercise it gets worst so your not the only one ive read that various places. Im the same way with my symptom im usually obssesed with one which i guess is anxiety but unfortunalty my do has been comlicated with actual physical withdrawl symptoms (I have protracted withdrawl from xanax- had seizures and convulsions and shit back in january- been fucked up since) and was diagnosed ptsd. So mine is def comlicated and i have severe anxiety and panic attacks. Im a mess. Im on month 6 so i guess as time goes by hopefully i wont get worst or go crazy and with time maybe ill except things will be ok. I dont know thats the hope that keeps me fueled. Other wise i would have jumped out a window. The symptoms i have been most obssesed with lately though have been my visions and the fact my whole body has been numb since april or may not like numb/tingly in the sense i cant feel touch but i feel like air or jello and just like a pair of eyes. Im actually gonna write a post about it because i cant find anything on it.


Well some cases are worse and more severe than others, but in the end what matters is being strong, I do believe that even the worst cases can be helped if the person is strong enough. Yep as time goes by you'll eventually notice that symptoms become bearable, they probably won't if you hide yourself from the world that's something worth mentioning, and suicide is never the answer, I guess the pain would end but wouldn't it be even better to recover and feeling "normal" once again?

As for the rest, yeah I feel them too, the "disconnection" from the body, it's quite common, I actually feel like I'm floating whenever I'm walking but I found the disconnection to be weaker whenever I manage to calm down, I'm always pretty damn anxious about hell knows what


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

PositiveThinking! said:


> That's actually true
> 
> 
> 
> ...


well yes Id say its a disconnectedness from the body but does that also mean like you dont really feel your body? like it seriously feels like im air... its soooo disturbing... it calms by maybe 50 percent when i calm down which is rarely and when i lay down and sleep and when i initially when i first open my eyes in the am and havent stood up yet. I just cant belive my mind could make me feel like im invisible like a hologram. its quite uncomfrotsble to walk around feeling like it all the time. Have you heard of that?


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Plur said:


> well yes Id say its a disconnectedness from the body but does that also mean like you dont really feel your body? like it seriously feels like im air... its soooo disturbing... it calms by maybe 50 percent when i calm down which is rarely and when i lay down and sleep and when i initially when i first open my eyes in the am and havent stood up yet. I just cant belive my mind could make me feel like im invisible like a hologram. its quite uncomfrotsble to walk around feeling like it all the time. Have you heard of that?


Yeah it's all part of DP, feeling disconnected from your own body, I constantly feel like I somehow lost my legs and I'm floating whenever I'm walking, and if I'm extremely anxious, like right about to have a panic attack I feel that way, as if my body is completely gone, also whenever I'm playing football I completely freak out if I keep thinking about DP and staring at my own body, I begin to feel as if my body is gone just as you say :/


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

comforting to know someone else has this. My drs stare at me like I have 3 heads when I try and explain. Thing that sucks is my body never feels compleltly here- I pray that one day it will come back. But I have my doubts







I couldn't find anywhere else on here talking of this symptom


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Plur said:


> comforting to know someone else has this. My drs stare at me like I have 3 heads when I try and explain. Thing that sucks is my body never feels compleltly here- I pray that one day it will come back. But I have my doubts
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well my 'crazy visuals' only began recently, so in these last 2 years in the forum I don't think I posted anything about it, as for the body numbness I'll take a look at my older posts and see if I can find one, I used to complain about every single symptom so I'm pretty sure I'll find something on that matter


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Here's a small example, I remember feeling that way several times but for some reason that day I decided to post something, probably because I was feeling extremely uncomfortable, also I've had DP for 6 months before I joined the forum, 3 years now so I probably felt this 'disconnected' feeling before joining even

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/22359-like-crap-o/page__p__197396__fromsearch__1#entry197396

I'm still browsing around my old threads, might find something else ^^

Another three

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/24327-feeling-soooo-unreal-and-numb/page__p__211062__fromsearch__1#entry211062
http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/22438-trouble-walking/page__p__197961__fromsearch__1#entry197961
http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/24367-holy-crap-so-out-of-it-freaking-out/page__p__211260__fromsearch__1#entry211260

This one below is my epic freakout when I was seeing people walking around the house, I was even on hardcore medication and I still 'hallucinated'

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/23371-oh-shit-hallucination/page__p__204762__fromsearch__1#entry204762

Yeah... I kinda used to create threads every 5 minutes, I was terrified in the beginning :/


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## ParaSpeed (Apr 29, 2012)

Plur said:


> Ok so Im terrified. Ive been having DR/DP since getting off xanax in januaury... and it hasnt let up. Im starting to get more scared as im seeing these flashes of color/light/shadows.. they dont last long and often go away when i blink or are out of the corner of my eye but they scare the shit out of me. occasionally theyve been shapes..i also get bad visual snow and crazy after images of lights and the tv and sometimes other objects. I also see trails and halos. Of course my first conclusion is ok im hallucinating im going crazy. Ive seen multiple doctors and told them about this and none of them have heard of it, but they refer to them as more "illusions" and dont seem alarmed by it and dont think its an indicator of Scitz or psychosis... but I cant be convinced. and ive researched it online and cant find out if this is dp or just crazy. Please respond- and share...im afraid to even open my eyes. It makes me so hypervigilant. It makes it worst doctors dont know what to tell me!


can you relate to the images below (although not as extreme as in these images)

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/526386_2553190249311_1840586341_1574043_2116335449_n.jpg

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=derealization&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1434&bih=705&tbm=isch&tbnid=j5UBMeF8vfLTKM:&imgrefurl=http://www.cureyouranxietysite.com/anxiety-articles/derealization-and-depersonalization/&docid=dnN-TQDWL8cmLM&imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3281/3066776579_cc210f2c88.jpg&w=500&h=333&ei=9N7aT6yRFYyU8gO-g_TBCw&zoom=1


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

ParaSpeed said:


> can you relate to the images below (although not as extreme as in these images)
> 
> http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/526386_2553190249311_1840586341_1574043_2116335449_n.jpg
> 
> ...


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Here's a small example, I remember feeling that way several times but for some reason that day I decided to post something, probably because I was feeling extremely uncomfortable, also I've had DP for 6 months before I joined the forum, 3 years now so I probably felt this 'disconnected' feeling before joining even
> 
> http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/22359-like-crap-o/page__p__197396__fromsearch__1#entry197396
> 
> ...


Thank you for taking the time to post.. The last link kinda freaked me out you are diagnosed predom? Oh please tell me my worst fear isn't coming true. Oh gosh. my family and doctors seem so confident in my sanity but I am not.


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Btw positive thinking - I added you on fb I'm the girl with all the colored hair lol x im gonna message you


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Plur said:


> Thank you for taking the time to post.. The last link kinda freaked me out you are diagnosed predom? Oh please tell me my worst fear isn't coming true. Oh gosh. my family and doctors seem so confident in my sanity but I am not.


No problem, and I was misdiagnosed with prodromal schizophrenia by some doctor that managed to scare the @#$^ out of me back then


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## Mernikki (Jul 22, 2012)

Xanax cold turkey? You r lucky that's all you are seeing. I'm serious ....That is normal for benzowithdrawl.


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## Question-Everything (Jun 30, 2012)

Plur said:


> Ok so Im terrified. Ive been having DR/DP since getting off xanax in januaury... and it hasnt let up. Im starting to get more scared as im seeing these flashes of color/light/shadows.. they dont last long and often go away when i blink or are out of the corner of my eye but they scare the shit out of me. occasionally theyve been shapes..i also get bad visual snow and crazy after images of lights and the tv and sometimes other objects. I also see trails and halos. Of course my first conclusion is ok im hallucinating im going crazy. Ive seen multiple doctors and told them about this and none of them have heard of it, but they refer to them as more "illusions" and dont seem alarmed by it and dont think its an indicator of Scitz or psychosis... but I cant be convinced. and ive researched it online and cant find out if this is dp or just crazy. Please respond- and share...im afraid to even open my eyes. It makes me so hypervigilant. It makes it worst doctors dont know what to tell me!


Thank you for saying this! I've seen shadows and shit like that for as long as I can remember and didn't think about it till you posted this becasue it's a normal thing to me. Needless to say I can relate haha. But I can't relate to the visual snow...


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## louise (Jul 1, 2012)

Plur said:


> Ok so Im terrified. Ive been having DR/DP since getting off xanax in januaury... and it hasnt let up. Im starting to get more scared as im seeing these flashes of color/light/shadows.. they dont last long and often go away when i blink or are out of the corner of my eye but they scare the shit out of me. occasionally theyve been shapes..i also get bad visual snow and crazy after images of lights and the tv and sometimes other objects. I also see trails and halos. Of course my first conclusion is ok im hallucinating im going crazy. Ive seen multiple doctors and told them about this and none of them have heard of it, but they refer to them as more "illusions" and dont seem alarmed by it and dont think its an indicator of Scitz or psychosis... but I cant be convinced. and ive researched it online and cant find out if this is dp or just crazy. Please respond- and share...im afraid to even open my eyes. It makes me so hypervigilant. It makes it worst doctors dont know what to tell me!


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## louise (Jul 1, 2012)

I Have always had strange visuals along with my dp, made worse by the fact that I have bad eye site in one eye that also causes intermitent double vision, both my massive episodes of dp started with a migraine and the eye hospital told me i was getting all the visuals but without the pain, I frequently get large orange floaty things that are fuzzy at the edges and the thing that freaks me out most tunnle vision at one point that narrowed right in to almost a pin point with dark all around , very scarry but now I just try and tell myself it's just a harmless symptom that will pass, easier said then done but there we go, you are not alone.


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## seeingisbelieving123 (Dec 27, 2011)

Wow I totally feel like I am floating too when I walk.....this is the first time I come across someone with this sensation. It just makes life 10x worse in dealing with all the crazy visuals and sometimes I have HD vision in nature.

I have made leaps and bounds controlling my anxiety though. Not caring about how weird and strange you feel is a essential step to getting better.


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## Guest (Sep 10, 2012)

i have this too.. but it's not scary at all, just annoying


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## fiberglasscottoncandy (Oct 29, 2012)

I've been having these same problems. But they started happening after I did a drug called 2c-e. I don't really know what it is, but I've just come to accept that its not going to go away and that I just have to live with it. I don't think there's much you can do, unfortunetely. Mine has gotten a bit better since I tripped on 2c-e..which was about 8-9 months ago. I did shrooms months after I did 2c-e, and it actually lessened the visuals. I was also seeing fractal-like patterns a lot in the dark at night. It's pretty scary. And I can see why you'd think you were going crazy. I thought that for a bit too.

I think it may be something similar to hppd, though I've heard of people experiencing these problems even though they never used psychedelics or any other drugs. Did you do any psychedelics or drugs that would make you hallucinate? Are you on any psych meds? When I was on prozac I use to get like visual distortions a lot.


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## Plur (Jun 29, 2012)

Ive done 2c-i but not 2-ce. and ive tripped but didnt get visuals till after my w/d. Ive learned to deal with the visuals better since posting this. Still cant deal with the body numbness though. and i was gonna try prozac but now im scared its gonna make it worse i need to stay off of here.


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## tatianaG (Mar 10, 2013)

Omg I'm not the only one who can barely make it through a day! These visuals colors lines blotches after images patterns and shit suckaand the worst thing about it is that you can't even tell your closest friend. They'll think your crazy or not even begin yo understand the hell we r in. It tales every ounce of energy to get through a day of work and sometimes I feel like I'm gonna die.... Has anyone had xanex HELP them?


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