# How do you confirm your existence?



## ellie000 (Jul 20, 2015)

Hi all,

I've been a member for some time, but never posted. I originally joined maybe 3-4 years ago when my dpdr was at its absolute worst. I was 15 at the time, now I am 19 and have experienced a great deal of recovery over the past year. I used to experience incredibly severe dissociation, so much so that I lost contact with almost everyone in my life, I was unsure if there was ever a moment that I was not dissociating, I was convinced that I had been dissociating for at least a year without end (I have no confirmation of this, and looking back on it there is absolutely no way to say, because I was really really out of it). Being in a new environment, out of an abusive home, etc, has greatly helped my dissociation, as well as recent recovery from what could be called sex addiction but what I believe was a dpdr coping mechanism. I'm at a point now where I believe the I exist, but I need frequent validation of this, and reality does not always provide.

In attempting to further my recovery process I'm wondering if people have lists of things they do that make them feel more real. Since I am in a place where I can do things that are supposed to make me feel real and actually have them be effective (used to have no success at all with things like this). So I would appreciate any suggestions of what cues bring you back to your body.

Also, anyone who has experienced some form of sex addiction in association with dpdr, please reach out to me.


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## Hedgehog fuzz (Dec 12, 2016)

i am going through both....my dp and blank mind caused by severe porn and sex addiction....in the sense that is equivalent to alcoholism. im not just fucking too much, because i am bored or because i love sex that much. "compulsive sexual behaviours" sums it up well.


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## jaceface (May 31, 2017)

A method I used to use in the past was to think of vibrant memories from my childhood/growing up - things like a video game I played a lot of (The Sims) or a TV show I was very in to. I would think of as much detail of these things as possible and try and make myself realize that these things were real and so I was real. Sometimes it helped, sometimes not. Mostly I just try and keep myself distracted.

The sex thing really hit home. I am 25 and have been sexually active for only three years, but my craving for it has really increased since the DPDR started last June. It is one of the few activities where I am so engrossed that I forget about panic, and feel real and alive. It is enjoyable, when not much else in life is. I had a miscarriage last year and from a few weeks after I was a bit sex mad because I just wanted to feel again and forget all the pain of life. It ended up becoming an issue.


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## something6789 (Oct 7, 2013)

How do you confirm that water is wet?


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## Tracer (Jun 13, 2017)

I write what I have done for the day on paper. Supposed to increase self awareness and I've noticed a positive one in my mind. The most important thing I think is never stop practicing principles and be honest about them. Helps the brain be as straight as possible.


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## babybowrain (Aug 24, 2010)

try eating more fresh food, it will help you.


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## Crazxan (May 14, 2017)

I don't confirm my existence, neither do I try convincing myself that I am real. I simply ignore these thoughts and distract myself with video games, movies etc.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I did 12 step/addiction work, so I can understand that need to do SOMETHING (be it sex or drugs or in my case compulsive dieting) to feel alive and good. someone on this board told me that my behavior was like that of an addict- I so wanted to feel good, and I couldn't just sit with my feelings. Always reaching for that fix (the man, the diet, the shopping, etc).

This is something really key with anxiety states and I think 12 step programs really help this and could help a lot of people on here. I read a recovery story of someone who had food addiction and before she got into a recovery program she had constant panic attacks and when she treated her addiction they stopped. Hmm.

There was a book I read, that talked about "soft addictions" I think it was a good one. Link below

https://www.amazon.com/There-Must-More-Than-This/dp/0767913396


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