# You can and likely will feel better.



## Vpered (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi folks.

First time caller, long time lurker. I generally don't come to this site anymore (though it was a big help to me at first), but I figured that I would pitch in with some positivity for those of you who still feel like s**t. My story is pretty much the usual pot story: joint > panic attack > "DP". It happened to me one new years, and stuck for over a year and a half (don't get all worried by this, just keep reading). I had most if not all of the "symptoms" everyone talks about .... fishbowl head ... eyespots.... empty feeling... tinnitus... endless fretting ... despair... you name it. I thought for sure I'd have to suck some tailpipe to make it go away. I tried psychologists, naturopaths, homeopaths, garden paths, etc... for months, and nothing seemed to work. Anyway, I'll get to the good stuff. Basically, I was feeling so s**t physically that I felt I needed to see a psychiatrist (since they have proper medical training as well as all the head shrinking stuff) so I could rule out the fact that I was brain dead, or ruined on drugs, or any of that crap. Anywho, through her I realized a) that I was always an anxious person, and how I was feeling was just an escalation of that, not some paradigm shift that happened overnight;







that I was carrying a lot of emotional baggage that I didn't realize I was carrying; c) that I needed to make some major changes in my life. She recommended that I take Zoloft (sertraline hydrochloride), that I take more affirmative steps in getting my life in order, and that I work out a lot more. I was terrified of the idea of taking anti-depressants, and kept putting this off. I would go to the gym, but get all lousy feeling because I felt like I was doing things wrong or looking like a dork. I would make attempts at scheduling my day, but would half-ass it and not get anywhere. When I actually bit the bullet and actually did all of what she said, however, my recovery truly began. At first the zoloft made me feel anxious, but over time, gave me the mental help I needed to be able to help myself. I started going to the gym three - four days a week for an hour and a half, and going to martial arts classes. I began organizing my schoolwork better, finished my Masters degree (which was a bitch, but I did it) and am now applying for jobs (proper jobs, not "oh I'm a head case, so I'll have to work somewhere easy, jobs"). I'm not going to say that I feel perfect, but guess what? I didn't feel perfect "before" either, and neither did you. I have days where i feel gross sometimes, but I have all my life, its just that hindsight makes stuff look a lot more rosy that it was in reality. I will, however, say that I feel better now than I ever have before in my life, and that contrary to what I used to wish, I wouldn't go back to how I was before this happened for any amount of money or chicks or jewels or whatever it is you'd like. I know this doesn't sound as nice as "I'M CURED", but when you get here (and you CAN get here), you'll realize its the same thing if not better.

So...
THINGS TO REMEMBER (as you've heard many times before)
-just cause you feel lousy, doesn't mean you're schizo, or brain dead, or f**cked on drugs 
-DP (as most of us feel it) is not some mystery affliction that no-one understands. Its a sensation associated with anxiety and, to a lesser extent depression.
-you didn't feel perfect "before" so don't obsess over feeling that way now
-you're not nearly as bad as you think you are
-if you put your mind to it, you life will improve to the point where its better than ever. I mean it ... No B.S.
-don't look for magic pills, they dont exist, and you'll just waste time when you could already be feeling better. There are pills that can help, but you've got to take action yourself
-that guy on the bus who you are jealous of because he's normal and doesn't have what you have, is probably on his way to blow something up, or attend a foot fetishist group, or play with himself while looking at re-bar. Everyone's a little off! No-ones perfect.

ADVICE / What has helped me
-don't be scared of pharmaceuticals. I know that there's some shit ones out there, and that you once heard of some guy who had a brother who had a friend who jumped off the Sears Tower because he was on such and such a medication, but trust me, Zoloft alowed me to make myself feel better. I regret not being brave enough to take it sooner. This doesn't mean that its the drug for you. Everyone's different. Just be open minded and know that there's one that will help you to take control of making yourself feel better. 
-WORK OUT!! Harness the positive side of your OCD!I personally went crazy both doing cardio and weights (and to be honest, being twice my original size has given me loads of confidence that I feel has helped), but based on what my shrink said, a good start is at LEAST 45 minutes of cardio a day. This seems like a lot, but once you get going, its nothing ... do it... do it now. (Once you start worrying about gaining muscle, then you can re-evaluate the amount of cardio you do.)
-Be more confident in yourself. You're not acting weird socially. You're not incapable of doing work, or meeting new people or any of that. 
-Socialize! Do s**t. I don"t care what it is. Join NAMBLA if you want (ok, maybe not that).
-Don't sit endlessly in dark rooms in front of a computer
-STOP RESEARCHING DP! Because its a blurry sort of topic, the internet literature on it makes it seem like a mysterious illness that only some Bulgarian doctor in the mountains has truly acknowledged, and that medical science continues to trivialize. Tons of obsessive people are out there posting that the sky is falling. It just makes it worse. (I know this is hard, and I don't mean to belittle anyone. Especially not on this site, since it was both a help and a comfort to me when I started out. Just know that you have to reach a point where you'll let it go. A good first step is to pick one or two positive posts, and if you feel bad, just focus on those two, and resist going to the more negative spaces here.)
-know that YOU CAN GET BETTER. No matter how s**t you feel, as soon as you feel even a little bit better, remember that and know you can get back there.
-don't try too hard. Don't wake up and have the first thought be "oh, hell, I still feel bad". Get on with your day. Put more things on your plate and don't give yourself time to obsess.
-get a pet. They make living by yourself a million times better. Esp. at night. My little cat has helped me big time. 
-work harder at your relationship/s don't loose someone important to you just cause of how you feel today. My girlfriend has been the biggest help.

Anyway, thats my bit. I hope it has helped you a little. Please remember that none of this is educated medical advice. It's just my take on what's happened, and what has made me feel better. More importantly, remember that in the past, I was where you might be right now. It can change, and if you're willing to make the effort, it WILL change.

Cheers, 
Me.

P.s. Thanks to all the previous positive posters who helped me in the past, though you didn't know it.
Вперед!


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

This is probably the best thing I've read in so long, thanks so much


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## meghan28 (Jan 3, 2008)

Thank you for this. Glad to hear about your awesome success. Inspires me to switch to a psychiatrist instead of a psychologist to start the grind to permanently better myself.


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## MIndfAEL (Mar 13, 2012)

wow amazing post thanks


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## Vpered (Apr 19, 2012)

No problem guys, I'm glad I could help.

I remembered a few more things...
-ditch the iPod. Or at least limit your headphone use. I found that constantly having headphones in wasn't helping the DP.
-you may find yourself freaking out because you don't enjoy something (a song maybe or a movie, band, food, etc...)that you used to love. Don't sweat it. I remember I was terrified that I was losing it because I didn't feel like listening to a Grateful Dead tune that I used to play all the time. This is just yet another example of your obsessive anxious-ass brain making mountains out of mole hills. Did I want to listen to that song 24/7 before all this happened? No! Is it normal to not feel like listening to something? Yes. So big f**king deal.
-GET GOOD SLEEP. Really good sleep. And don't sleep in. I know this is lame, but maybe try and be in bed by 12:00 and up by 9:00. You can have a few late nights and it wont kill you, but trust me, you'll feel way better once you start getting on a good program of regular sleep.
-lastly, and I can't believe I forgot this... NO BOOZE, NO COFFEE, and most importantly NO DRUGS. NONE. ZERO. I know that pot isn't a big deal, and that everyone drinks. Christ, I used to drink like a fish, and I once made a 35 gallon bong that you could strap to your back. It doesn't matter. ITS NOT WORTH IT. Don't do it. This doesn't mean you cant hang out with people who are drinking, and don't worry if you can smell pot from the apartment downstairs, but STAY CLEAN OF THIS STUFF. Those stupid ads in the back of Archie comics were right: you don't need these things to have fun. And I mean good fun, not pansy fun.

Cheers guys, best of luck!


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## SongBillong (Sep 20, 2011)

Two great posts here Vpered









However, in your second post, you mentioned about not listening to iPods and I disagree. I find that having music on in one ear while walking along almost distracts my mind to a point that the DP/DR isn't the only thing dominating my thoughts. The fact that one ear is left open keeps a link to the outside world so you're not completely detached. From experience, it works really well









One thing I MASSIVELY aqree on is the sleep regularity. I've been feeling so much better since I've kept the same (or at least a similar) sleep pattern. I used to sleep more but at really random times, which must've destroyed my body clock. Even though I now get about an hour or so less sleep than I used to, getting up earlier is significantly more refreshing and really does set me up for the day far better. Give it a try!


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## justjay (Oct 30, 2011)

Good Post!

I agree with most of what you said!

I actually tried Lexapro but it gave me bad side effects, I then decided never to do pills, but now I m considering other types of meds...

Another thing I believe has contributed to my condition is work stress! working is a good distraction but I now realise its critical to make sure stress is not too much as it can only contribute to the condition.


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## Lightsleeper (Mar 29, 2012)

I like your story, the tips you mentioned and I'm glad you feel alot better. But I think it's important to emphasize, at least from what I've gathered from your posted, that you've accepted DP as your reality. This may be ok for some, but for myself I will never stop settle for anything less than a DP-free reality. I believe anyone can 100% recover from it, there are many recovery stories on this forum and others. I even know one person who has recovered from it twice, as well as helping many others to do the same. So what I'm saying is.. never ever accept DP as your reality, never settle for second best. You don't have to do that. I've found so many ways to make myself more in touch with reality and I'll be posting them on here soon. I believe it's only a matter of time until I'm back to the way I was before, no more than a few months. Good luck to everyone.


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## staples (Apr 1, 2009)

Lightsleeper said:


> I like your story, the tips you mentioned and I'm glad you feel alot better. But I think it's important to emphasize, at least from what I've gathered from your posted, that you've accepted DP as your reality. This may be ok for some, but for myself I will never stop settle for anything less than a DP-free reality. I believe anyone can 100% recover from it, there are many recovery stories on this forum and others. I even know one person who has recovered from it twice, as well as helping many others to do the same. So what I'm saying is.. never ever accept DP as your reality, never settle for second best. You don't have to do that. I've found so many ways to make myself more in touch with reality and I'll be posting them on here soon. I believe it's only a matter of time until I'm back to the way I was before, no more than a few months. Good luck to everyone.


That's the first process of recovery, accepting the feelings as what they are, just feelings. If you keep harping and trying to "solve" the unsolvable puzzle of DP / DR, you're setting yourself up for failure. Everyone suffers from DP / DR to a certain degree, in certain situations, but most people just shrug it off. If you "accept" it by letting it be and just giving it the space it needs it will eventually dissipate. Unfortunately, for many of us, this isn't the case a lot of times because we become so caught up in the obsession of how we feel and it puts us into an even deeper hole. The vicious cycle of Depersonalization and Derealization.

I don't care what anyone says. Everyone on here suffers from some type of anxiety disorder, consciously or sub-consciously. It has been stated, DP / DR is an Obsessive Compulsive Spectrum Disorder. We're constantly obsessing over how to get out of this horrible dilemma, which in turn, fuels the feelings of "brain fog" even further.


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## Lightsleeper (Mar 29, 2012)

staples said:


> That's the first process of recovery, accepting the feelings as what they are, just feelings. If you keep harping and trying to "solve" the unsolvable puzzle of DP / DR, you're setting yourself up for failure. Everyone suffers from DP / DR to a certain degree, in certain situations, but most people just shrug it off. If you "accept" it by letting it be and just giving it the space it needs it will eventually dissipate. Unfortunately, for many of us, this isn't the case a lot of times because we become so caught up in the obsession of how we feel and it puts us into an even deeper hole. The vicious cycle of Depersonalization and Derealization.
> 
> I don't care what anyone says. Everyone on here suffers from some type of anxiety disorder, consciously or sub-consciously. It has been stated, DP / DR is an Obsessive Compulsive Spectrum Disorder. We're constantly obsessing over how to get out of this horrible dilemma, which in turn, fuels the feelings of "brain fog" even further.


I have heard a few people here suggest to accept depersonalisation, but I don't think that relates to me. I've had it for about 5 years but I only became aware of it when I started dating, kissing girls and having sex. That was when I first realised I wasn't fully in touch with my senses. Surely I would've recovered within that 4 year period where I wasn't even aware that I had depersonalisation. But when I look back now it seems so obvious, I know what caused it and I know when it begun.
I think it's important to keep yourself busy and try to forget about DP, as hard as it may be. But at the same time I think it's important to look for a way out. If you don't your life could pass you by, before you know it you're 80 years old lying on your death bed before you've even lived. I've noticed a common mindset with people that have recovered from DP. Some of them don't care that they have it, they don't care if drinking alcohol or taking drugs makes it worse, they do it anyway. They live for the moment and enjoy every minute of their lives as much as they can, that makes them recover. Then there's other people that really care that they have DP and are constantly trying to find a way out, they're fighters. There is a way out for everyone but different things will work for different people. e.g. Some may get DP from infestation of parasites or others overdosing on stimulants, fat-burners containing caffeine and ephedrine.
I think the biggest problem is that people will try something and when it doesn't work they let that affect their mood, they feel like they never get out. But you should never give up, keep looking for a cure that works for you. If you keep doing what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten. I will be posting a list of all the potential cures I've discovered, they should all have at least some effect on people and some of them will allow complete recovery from DP. I wake up everyday with a genuine smile on my face eager to get outside and live my life. It's only a matter of time until I recover and then I'm going to devote my time to ensure everyone else recovers too. So to everyone reading this.. keep busy, keep smiling, do what makes you happy and know that it is only a matter of time until you recover.


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