# Don't know what to do anymore.



## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Hi.

I'm an 25-year-old who in 2017 got my first panic attacks. I have never been so scared in my life. After a month of constant anxiety and attacks, I began to get derelazation, which led to more anxiety.

When I worked as a shop assistant a few years ago I was robbed with a gun, they threatened to kill me if I did not give them money. A week after that, it happened again with another weapon. Time passed and I did not care about what had happened. People thought I went as if nothing had happened. But I had constant fear every day.

Now a few years later, I think I've had some trauma after these events and that my brain has ended up in any defense mechanism.

I'm so afraid I'll live like this forever. And it takes on my powers to fight me through every day. I go to work as usual, socialize with friends and family, and I am going to university so I can distract myself.

I have read exactly all forums and do not get smarter of five. I know that one day will go away, but I'm worried that I will not know how it will feel normal.
That I'm going to be crazy.
All I want is to recover.

please can anyone give me some hope.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I am going to the psychologist once a month and take sertralin 200 mg a day. And she says that this will pass in time.

Thank you for reading.


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## anniephantom (Jan 17, 2018)

Hey-o. 
I'm 24, and I suffered illness, trauma, panic, and an inevitable mental breakdown in December of 2016. After all that fun stuff, I just.... moved on. Swallowed it down and pretended like it didn't happen. Well, it did happen, and now I'm paying for it all over again with this depersonalization-derealization shit. It's a waking nightmare, and it hit me out of nowhere. I, too, worry that I won't recognize normal if it comes my way. 
I don't have any valuable insight or advice for you. Just solidarity. I hear you. What you're going through is terrifying. I hope it ends for you soon.


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Thank you so much. I really hope that it ends for you to. And one day it will, I know it. But it is like a war to wake up every morning and feel the same. Some days everything is good and I'm thinking "I got this" and the next day I'm so scares that I'm going to be crazy and won't know who I am anymore.

But I find hope in all recovery stories and can't wait to her normal again. Stay strong girl ????


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## anniephantom (Jan 17, 2018)

You too!!


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## Ringomoon (Aug 15, 2017)

I know first hand how horrible do can be, I've had two 'episodes' of dp so far and each one feels like it's gonna stay and I imagine my life being like that forever. Ok please listen to me. This is your brain and anxiety tricking you in to these thoughts, feelings and mindset. treat the anxiety and it shall pass. How long have you been on seetraline? That is the med that worked for me but I tried a few til I found one that worked. Anxiety is not an easy road and dp is just a symptom of that, a scary frightening symptom I'm aware but I promise you this is not forever. Six months ago I was in such a dark place I felt Ike I couldn't go on and here I am cured and living life to the full and I never thought it would happen. Please hang in here, keep going til you find meds that work and going to work and school is the best thing to do, it keeps your mind active and s routine. I also suggest spending time with people you care about such as a parent friend, partner. You can do this. I believe in you


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Hello Ringmoon.

I'm so happy for you that you have come out to the light from the dark place. I feel hope when I read you're story, because if you came out of it I will to. And I know that I need to let it take the time it takes. But sometimes it's so hard and I'm questening my self when and how will I recover. Sometimes it feels like my life is over and I will be like this forever.

I got my first medication in April 2017 , the doctor gave me Venlafaxine , this doctor wasn't a psychologist. This medication made me breakdown from 100 to 0. I have never felt so bad in my life before. I woke up maybe 4 time every night with strong anexty and I cried whole day. For about 2 months. When I got my psychologist she said that the doctor gave me wrong medication. And she put me on sertralin 7/09-2017. This medication was so much better for me. And the derelazation have been a bit better and I'm glad for that.

But still I feel derelazation everyday 24/7. 
I always think that my brain will never recover and I will be like this all the time. I am in my negative thoughts the whole time and and when I wake up I keep thinking "is my derelazation gone "

Yes, I am with people I love everyday, I have an amazing fiance that supports me everyday and who encourage me that I will one day feel normal again. The university is a lifesaver right now because I need to focus on my studies, I think it's a good way of distraction and in the same way I learn about stuff and doing something good for my future, cuz I don't like my job right now.

I am so glad that you read my story and made a comment.


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Hello Where.

Yes ,i know that Its caused by trauma and psychological stress. My life haven't been easy. 
It has hapend a lot. Yes she is really helping as good as she can and know that this will pass. She had other people with derelazation so I trust her.


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## Ringomoon (Aug 15, 2017)

I had exactly the same thoughts as you, but honestly you will get through this. It won't happen over night, it will be very gradual, so gradual you will hardly notice it, I believe in you and know you can do this


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## Ringomoon (Aug 15, 2017)

I also recommend reading the book 'at last a life' it helped me understand what I was going through and how to manage it


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Thank you so much I will get through this. ????????


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Hello Where.

Yeah. I am trying to do the best I can. But sometimes I loose hope and get very scared of the feelings. And I get stuck in the thinking pattern " I will have this for all my life." That's the worst, but I really hope to recover.


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

We will survive the storm.


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## Allineedishope (Jan 20, 2018)

Today I feel to give up , I don't see any way to ever recover from this and I feel so hopeless. 
Derelazation takes my happiness away, how much i even try I cant stop thinking of it. And I often think that I will lose this fight. How will I ever know if I recover? Will I ever know how it is to feel my self in reality again? I have so many questions but no answers:/


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## bigpwn (Dec 14, 2017)

Hope is an illusion, don't hope for it getting better, know that even if it gets worse or stays the same you will be alright.


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