# I'm beating DP/DR induced stage 6 agoraphobia, I thought I'd share some insight



## Alex617 (Sep 23, 2015)

I've been dealing with agoraphobia for over a year now. However I was able to function normally for most of it. In the last two months though I have been housebound entirely. My agoraphobia is mostly fuelled by my depression and dpdr (now cured), and I believe it's the combination of the two that pushed me in to 'clinical' depression. Seriously if you are depressed, get whatever help you can before you get in too deep even if it's phone counselling.

Anyway, I set up a nice survival setup for myself. I was able to get all my food, games and money from home (one would think the internet was built to accommodate agoraphobiacs). My motivation to go out was lessened and with my depression I also had little interest in doing anything, but despite that I managed to get outside. I figured if I'm going to be depressed and miserable, I could be depressed and miserable outside. Some tips:

1. Keep yourself healthy at home, including working out, good eating habits and if possible good sleep habits.

2. Don't give yourself a hard time, every time I promised myself to go out a little bit each day, I failed, but I still was able to use the skills of going outside previously to build on even if the last time was over a week ago.

3. Most people don't understand exposure therapy. The idea is not to go outside and pray you make it through, this is what prolonged my agoraphobia for an entire year even when I could go anywhere. Exposure is exposure to the fear, you have to actually chase the anxiety, live in it. Think of a flu shot, they introduce the virus to you in small amounts so your body knows how to process it. So remember to beg for that panic attack, tell it to hit you so hard you lose your mind and collapse on the ground writhing.

4. Little things count. I live in a high-rise apartment, my anxiety was so bad I could barely leave my room. Not to say I was comfortable there either, maybe I just feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Anyway, once I understood the exposure approach I made small steps. Going to my apartment garbage disposal, walking down the stairs at least one floor down (I did this at night or early morning to avoid people). It wasn't always great, one time I felt so frustrated I just sat down on the steps and said "I'm going to sit here until this fucking thing goes away", it didn't at the time, but there is a part of recovery that you don't notice, which comes in to effect after you go back home and replenish. One time I made it all the way down the stairs, just to poke out my head in to the real world through the exit door. I was hit with a wave of disorientation.

5. Recovery is at times thankless, for me at least. When I fight the demon I sometimes come home feeling more depressed and depleted. Most times I don't get any enthusiasm from it. Today when I found myself outside, driving around and not avoiding people, I didnt feel any satisfaction or epiphany, it was actually kind of boring. But hey, that's what recovery should be, going outside shouldn't be a big deal but just a fact of life.

6. The hardest part is putting on your shoes and stepping out the door. You will never fully comprehend this, our brains are not designed to. Anxiety will come in, thoughts will start going haywire, "what if I lose my mind and crash in to pedestrians? What if I truly can't handle this?". Yes, there is always trauma associated with being outside which is why we are here in the first place. I dissociated, I panicked, I felt the world wasn't real, I felt I wasn't controlling my body, I felt a dark sky closing in on me, I felt a lot of things, but that's in the past. What happens once you're actually outside is a different ballgame, not what your imagination creates. Especially with your new perspective about welcoming the fear. Rememeber, what you resist persists. Nothing in reality can hurt us as much as our own minds


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## hurley78 (May 14, 2016)

I think it is amazing how we feed into the safety seeking behavior of staying where we feel safe and then end up with another roadblock in our path like agoraphobia. I myself am fighting this demon, I can leave the house I just have a hard time going anywhere that is more than about 15 minutes away from home but like you I am working at it. How was it that you beat DPDR?

Congrats on beating DPDR and pushing yourself to face agoraphobia.....that is huge!!!


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## Stevemc92 (Jul 31, 2016)

How did you beat dp/dr?


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