# The true cruelness of DPDR lies in the lack of awareness and understanding



## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

As I sort of muddle through my life with DPDR, I am constantly being reminded of how little knowledge, understanding and compassion there is regarding this condition. I find myself repeating what I say to family members, always having to stress how limited it makes me. Their conversations with me, their suggestions, it all reeks of "I didn't listen to a word you said about what you go through." It doesn't seem to matter if I'm talking to a health professional or my own brother, it all just seems to go in one ear and out the other. They don't seem to understand that just my default existence is very difficult and uncomfortable, day in, day out, 365 days a year. I have difficulties walking, remembering, clearing my mind. I feel dizzy, drunk and delirious. I can't stand up for very long or remember what I had for dinner two nights ago. And all the time my mind is just absolutely drowning - swimming in thoughts and general fogginess that I can't alleviate to save my life. The psychiatrists all seem to make light of it too. They don't seem to know or care about how debilitating it is. They suggest things like exercise or getting a job, despite me having told them that my fatigue and exercise intolerance are shockingly bad. The world seems utterly surreal and dreamlike all the time. Even if I manage to salvage something of an enjoyable experience here and there, it's taken away from me so soon because of my awful memory or inability to fully immerse myself in the situation due to the surreality of my world.

I recently had my sister stay with me and it was a nightmare. She wouldn't stop lecturing me on what I should be doing, all while demonstrating such utter ignorance of my condition despite me having told her many times in the past what I experience. She left a week or so ago and I just feel totally depleted and angry with her.

I'm really not sure if I'm just one of the very bad cases, but the difficulty of functioning coupled with the total non-understanding from everyone else around me makes me feel like I'm in the twilight zone 24/7.

Sorry for the rant guys. Had to get it off my chest.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

I hear ya Chicane! Well said!

You are referring to the "pull your socks up brigade" as I call them...

Professionals are the worst for it....Family members are just as bad when they want to be and friends just think your feeling sorry for your self....

I want to bring them all inside my head for a while...To scare the living daylights out of them and teach them all a lesson!!!


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## freezeup (Oct 1, 2016)

Thats one of the major parts thats so distressing about this disorder for me. I spent a good portion of this disorder barricaded in my room, away from everyone.. not even doing the things that I loved, and yet most of my family just brushed it off. I had to quit school and my job just to focus on recovery, but they make it seem like almost nothing is wrong.


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## Mydp (Aug 12, 2016)

If I had a penny for every time I was told to just "snap out of it", I would be rich.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

It's really unbelievable that this condition is not known to the world in this day and age. Mental health professionals don't understand it let alone society. Everyone knows the word schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression, etc yet no one knows about this. It really is unbelievable.


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

Mydp said:


> If I had a penny for every time I was told to just "snap out of it", I would be rich.


Similarly for "You seem alright" after telling someone about my condition. Just because I can complete sentences (though still somewhat of a struggle) and stand upright (ditto) people seem to feel there's nothing wrong with me. If there's anything I've learned throughout this process it's that if people can't visibly see something wrong with you then they'll struggle with accepting that your pain is really all that bad.



Void said:


> It's really unbelievable that this condition is not known to the world in this day and age. Mental health professionals don't understand it let alone society. Everyone knows the word schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression, etc yet no one knows about this. It really is unbelievable.


Again, same as above. If I had a penny for every time I've thought this exactly I'd be rich by now.


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2016)

The problem is it's never looked at as a stand alone condition. It's always seen as a symptom of depression/anxiety. So that's what gets treated.


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## hidden (Nov 28, 2015)

You have to go along with the idea that people care about you very much, this community cares about you very much!

We listen.

We understand.

Go on with your life without being influenced by the pressures of Labor Day, which is subliminally lurking from people in the community including family.

Once Labor Day is over it will be a big push to improving for the meanwhile.

Hell, we have the whole holiday season to contend with.

Buckle down.

Be good to yourself.

Work on remaining healthy.

Don't let other people get you down. I know it's hard. But We have tons of faith in each other. Just take a breath and let this thing pass and you will feel better. I am 100% on this.

I feel like shit too.

But it will get better, no doubt. Little by little.


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## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

> The problem is it's never looked at as a stand alone condition. It's always seen as a symptom of depression/anxiety. So that's what gets treated.


The "it's just a symptom"-argument cannot be the true reason. Catatonia is also regarded as a symptom, but there are special treatments for it.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

BoSox95 said:


> The problem is it's never looked at as a stand alone condition. It's always seen as a symptom of depression/anxiety. So that's what gets treated.


Spot on Bo Sox!


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## Stevemc92 (Jul 31, 2016)

I agree during the worst of my dp i could hardly talk or move at all serious brain fog and panic attacks and my girlfriend told me too keep busy lol you know how bad dp and dr make t to even move sometimes and they tell me to try keep busy and active


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## mezona (Sep 4, 2015)

Are you better now Steve?


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

I always like to say that if they did know what it is like for us then they would see us as heroes.

So in this way I can forgive their ignorance.

Which makes it a little easier to manage.


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

This is partly why it eats me up inside out daily. I've only told a few people about my depression/anxiety, (i have a depressed friend), and only told my psychiatrist about my DP.

When my depressed friend tells me about his daily struggles, i'm just thinking holy shit, you don't even know how much worse it could be, i'd kill to be a normal, single person complaining about not having a GF and those type of problems. Half the time i'm to numb to even feel the loneliness and sadness within me..

I know if i told people around me about my condition, even if they really listened and tried to put themselves in my shoes, they would still have absolutely no idea what this is like. The fact that nobody (physically) around me have even a chance to understand what i'm going through, is soul crushing at times. And you can't even blame them, it's not their fault they can't see it or feel it themselves..


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## Guest (Aug 30, 2016)

I've been going to a therapist for a few weeks now but I'm not sure he understands depersonalization. What should I be looking for in terms of a specialist? Someone who specializes in dissociative disorders?


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## Lexy13 (Jul 31, 2016)

It is a serious illness, dp. And there doesn't seem to be an easy way out bc some of it has been hard wired from childhood. I have spent days staying in bed and ignoring the outside world. I'm now trying to be more a part of it despite feeling like a wet noodle and not responsive. It's the only thing I can. Think of to do. But it isn't always easy. Tonight I talked with ppl too long and I found that my core self was miles away. Behind my face. Beyond my cognition. So that siucks. I'm starting work soon and I'm not looking forward to that. I'm signing off now. Gn.


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## Lexy13 (Jul 31, 2016)

I wonder about finding the right therapist. You do want to go to someone who deals with trauma and knows about dp. But w that being said, I'm going to an expensive somatic therapist: someone who helps you to deal with trauma in your body, and I don't feel so very different after a couple of months. She's expensive too. 
It is a hard thing to move out of sometimes, do, so it's hard to know.


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

BoSox95 said:


> I've been going to a therapist for a few weeks now but I'm not sure he understands depersonalization. What should I be looking for in terms of a specialist? Someone who specializes in dissociative disorders?


Definitely someone who knows exactly what you are talking about...A DP expert...all others are a waste of time...



Lexy13 said:


> I wonder about finding the right therapist. You do want to go to someone who deals with trauma and knows about dp. But w that being said, I'm going to an expensive somatic therapist: someone who helps you to deal with trauma in your body, and I don't feel so very different after a couple of months. She's expensive too.
> It is a hard thing to move out of sometimes, do, so it's hard to know.


If you arent getting any considerable improvements in your condition through therapy I would seriously consider stop throwing money at it....

People dont seem to realise that therapy isnt very effective in treating DP unless the therapist knows exactly what they are talking about and has plenty of experience in treating it....


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## Lexy13 (Jul 31, 2016)

There has to be a way out. I've been trying so hard this summer, I live in my, to push myself, to go out. I even went to France. And yet today I can't or don't want to get out of bed. Everything seems so meaningless. My efforts don't add up to anything. And yet I've been working so hard to be out of this condition. I need some hope. Today I'm supposed to visit my father but I really don't want to. He doesn't know who I am even on a good day. But it's not just that. I'm scared of feeling that double sensation of being here and not here. 
I need to work which starts in two days. And yet I'm afraid to bc of my condition. I can't seem to get out of it. I need some relief.


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