# Do you go to work?



## Jenijar (Mar 23, 2016)

Just wondering how many of you manage to have a job with DP/DR? And also how many are off sick? If you do have a job do you do part time or full time? If you don't have a job, how long have you not been working for?
I've been off sick for a year now, but due to go back on a phased return (so starting off part time and building up to ful time) in a couple of weeks and I'm dreading it, I have no idea how I can do it when everything still feels so strange and I'm constantly questioning whether I'm actually alive and if things are real


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## Broken (Jan 1, 2017)

Are you in the UK or elsewhere? It might not be helpful to ask where others are at. It's not relevant. They may have better/worse symptoms thay differently effect their performance and their chosen career. I for example simply cannot be around people. I don't know if others have it but I zone and get overwhelmed and over stimulated by loud environments. I think you honestly need to ask if you have the coping strategies, and if the gaps between work days is enough for you at the moment? It's a difficult situation I have been in myself but you just have to be really honest with yourself


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

No, I don't really work. I'm not happy with it and I'm not even happy about admitting it. I subsist on my family company's money, which isn't much, and that my aging dad slaves away at to try and make happen. I drive for Uber sometimes for some extra cash here and there, but that's only when I feel up to it, which is almost never. I feel pretty pathetic and guilty about everything. But to be fair I really do have terrible spaciness, fatigue, and cognitive abilities. I also have really bad social anxiety that has plagued me all my life - that was long before the DPDR even kicked in. I doubt I would be able to hold down any third-party job for a longer than a week or two. I don't know what I'll do when it comes to providing for myself in the future. This was always a major reason I considered suicide, and that's aside from the often crippling DP symptoms I experience that only seem to push me further down that road.


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## Jenijar (Mar 23, 2016)

Thanks for your replies. I'm in the UK. I didn't mean to cause any offence by asking and certainly wasn't judging anyone, just interested to know. my parents have been using their savings to pay my bills since my sick pay ran out and I too feel really guilty over it. My doctor said that I should go back to work to help my recovery, but he doesn't know much on DP I don't think


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## Broken (Jan 1, 2017)

It's a difficult topic and could quickly become quite depressing. I too am on benefits but barely enough to survive. My girlfriend pays the rent and people seem to think it must be bliss not having to work. They don't have a fucking clue. Fortunately my job seeker advisor is understanding but I get the impression he is being pressurised from people above him. Only a matter of time before I'm sanctioned and get cuts to that money even further. As difficult as it is be kind to yourself, with society making it so difficult the last thing you need is pressure from yourself


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## Jenijar (Mar 23, 2016)

I'm not on benefits (I didn't apply for them after my sick pay ran out as I kept hoping I would be well enough to return to work the following month and then each time I didn't feel well enough and got signed off again) but I know you don't get hardly anything and it definitely isn't enough to cover my bills and mortgage.
Yes so frustrating when people think you're having an easy time being off work, all the time I've been off I've been desperate to be well enough to go back and would choose to work 15 hours a day every day over having DP/DR. Like you say they don't have a fucking clue.
There was a time last year where I found it very hard to leave the house (even to go in the back garden) so I would phone the doctor for my sick note (he knew I was being seen by the mental health crisis team and then later the community mental health team, so was happy to write a sick note without me having to go in) then someone would pick it up for me and then post it to my work, but when I felt a little better I started going into my workplace to drop the sick note off to try to get used to it again, I would stay for around an hour each time and make an effort to talk to people and try to appear "normal" but it was always an act. Anyway I went into my workplace today to discuss my return to work and was speaking to my boss and he said "people see you coming in and you look fine and you are talking and laughing to them and they think you should be at work" and that really pissed me off, they can't even imagine what I've been through. I tell them I have anxiety because I don't want to have to explain DP/DR to them and then you get people like "oh yeah i have / I know someone with anxiety" and they probably have mild anxiety but have no idea how bad things get with DP/DR. Anyway I'm rambling sorry


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

Nope


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

Jenijar said:


> I'm not on benefits (I didn't apply for them after my sick pay ran out as I kept hoping I would be well enough to return to work the following month and then each time I didn't feel well enough and got signed off again) but I know you don't get hardly anything and it definitely isn't enough to cover my bills and mortgage.
> Yes so frustrating when people think you're having an easy time being off work, all the time I've been off I've been desperate to be well enough to go back and would choose to work 15 hours a day every day over having DP/DR. Like you say they don't have a fucking clue.
> There was a time last year where I found it very hard to leave the house (even to go in the back garden) so I would phone the doctor for my sick note (he knew I was being seen by the mental health crisis team and then later the community mental health team, so was happy to write a sick note without me having to go in) then someone would pick it up for me and then post it to my work, but when I felt a little better I started going into my workplace to drop the sick note off to try to get used to it again, I would stay for around an hour each time and make an effort to talk to people and try to appear "normal" but it was always an act. Anyway I went into my workplace today to discuss my return to work and was speaking to my boss and he said "people see you coming in and you look fine and you are talking and laughing to them and they think you should be at work" and that really pissed me off, they can't even imagine what I've been through. I tell them I have anxiety because I don't want to have to explain DP/DR to them and then you get people like "oh yeah i have / I know someone with anxiety" and they probably have mild anxiety but have no idea how bad things get with DP/DR. Anyway I'm rambling sorry


Welcome to Stigma land.......

Not in the sense that people consider you a freak because you have mental health issues......

But because they believe you are totally faking it and basically seeking attention....

Sickens me to my stomach!!!!

I had to quit my full time career as an electrician because I could no longer deal with the high stress deadlines in my job and also because my concentration levels were so poor at times I was becoming not only a danger to myself but to others also....I now claim disability which I had to fight for for 4 years and work occasionaly on a part time basis when my mental health permits....I managed to work for nearly 15 years in the same job with DP but eventually the stress took a huge toll on me and I had to just resign.......I would often be in work feeling so incapacitated that I would have to sit in the bathroom wanting to vommit....The big probelm was I couldnt tell anybody....I worked with all men in a construction environment and they would have just laughed at me....Very very sad, upsetting and disturbing memories!!


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

I wont even get into the so called "TOP SHRINK" in my local mental health service who told me when I asked him for a letter explaining my condition to both my job and the social that "I WASNT SICK ENOUGH TO RECEIVE REGULAR APPROPRIATE TREATMENT" "WE HAVE MUCH MORE SERIOUS CASES TO CONTEND WITH" is what I was told..................

I was left dumbfounded, disheartened and bemused to say the least..........

As a result my faith in the mental health services vanished and I now refuse to deal with any of them including Therapists or Councellors who gave me the same old story week after week and continued to take my money with not even a dint made in my DP....Over and over with Therapist after Therapist I got the same crap "Its going to take time" "What time next week suits you" Guess what??? Ive been coming here for 6 months and still feel the f*****g same!!!!!!!!!!

Absolute money making racket in my opinion......

Im sorry folks but this stuff totally gets under my skin....

I am now of the opinion that so many people are coming out of the cracks in the ground with various different serious mental health issues that the health service cant cope anymore and its all being brushed under the carpet and covered up.....

The world wide mental health problem is much bigger than we are all being led to believe it is.....Just ask yourself how many people around you are on SSRIs or have committed suicide etc etc.....

Mental Health care is in the dark ages unfortunately.....Psychiatrists give you a ten minute pep talk and a pill........Therpaists let you rant for 50 minutes, take 100 dollars, pounds or euros from your pocket (sometimes alot more) then send you on your merry way feeling worse than when you went in with the "See you next week" spiel..............


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## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

eddy1886 said:


> Mental Health care is in the dark ages unfortunately.....Psychiatrists give you a ten minute pep talk and a pill........Therpaists let you rant for 50 minutes, take 100 dollars, pounds or euros from your pocket (sometimes alot more) then send you on your merry way feeling worse than when you went in with the "See you next week" spiel..............


I live in beautiful norway and i actually get treatment for free. Sometimes i think about what it would be like living in the states (huge student debts, insanely costly mental health costs/medicines..) and it kind of freaks me out..

I sometimes wonder what all these phsychologists and phsychiatrists think about themselves. Charging so much goddamn money from people that are struggling! And for what? Maybe giving them an uplifting pep talk and perscribing pills they barely can afford and not changing anything in the big picture? Me as an caring and introspective person would be depressed out of my mind to be in that position (the phsychiatrist that is).


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## RedSky (Jan 11, 2017)

I work full time and have always worked while having DP/DR (both full time and part time jobs) I am pretty anti social though at work and mostly keep to myself.


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## M1k3y (Sep 19, 2016)

I tried working, i wish i was working now, only cus im bored most the time but when i do work around with other people it tends to go bad and i feel like im the problem, i got dp and tried sticking with my job for about 6 months, i honestly think it caused my dp to get worse, just cus id have complete anxiety breakdowns and just kill myself over it, also i was like hella cool with everyone at work and then i got dp and the next day everyone was like what the hell happend to this kid, kinda sucks when its like that, also i felt the dudes were testin me and i almost got in a couple fights, and woula broke my co-managers jaw, i work at a family business, im sure i woulda got fired A LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago, but working was so stressful it made me angry, and i felt more suicidal, really sucked, since i havent been working.. my focus has been to get better, i feel less anxious, i feel like i could almost work again, i feel like i can, just gotta suck up my pride sometimes


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## Billy D.P. (Apr 12, 2016)

I've worked off and on over the last few years but every time I've been at work it's been a struggle. I had a breakdown about a year ago and had to quit my gardening job but it was really no big deal because it was just a menial job anyway.

I've been lucky to be able to work with my dad and his company where I get tons of time to myself and don't have to interact with hardly anyone all day. I honestly think this is the only job I'm able to hold at the moment. I absolutely couldn't do anything that requires lots of social interaction.

I also agree with a lot of people here in saying I'd do ANYTHING to be healthy and work full time and overtime or whatever the hell else I could do to fill up my day and stay busy. I've always said mental illness is a paradox in that the thing you need the most is the very thing you can't have, and I think work is a prime example. Everyone here would love to work and staying busy is the best thing for DP, yet at the same time we can't work because our condition is so bad. Just a never-ending catch 22.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Yes I work. I do 9-5 (sometimes later, sometimes earlier every day). I write about finance and financial markets. My DP/DR is incredibly intense and by mid afternoon I have no mental energy and almost fall asleep at my desk.

I've also had a myriad of other symptoms since having DP including intense exhaustion and fatigue like I've never had before in my life. It absolutely sucks and there's a reasonably high chance il get fired soon


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## Gadgirl (Feb 5, 2016)

I stopped work for about a year and a few months after I first got DP/DR as I couldn't cope and was in constant panic (well constant panic attacks) for the last 3 months I have been doing some work from home selling bath bombs and also boarding dogs when people are on holiday or go into hospital etc. It brings in a little bit of extra money. I am on disability benifets till 2019 so the little work I do is just extra pocket money and it comes under permitted work so it doesn't affect my benifet


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