# My experience with Citalopram



## LogLady

Hey all,

This is my first time trying the medicated route and I thought I'd log my experience here.

So I'm about 3 weeks in on the SSRI Citalopram, starting at 10mg for the first week and then upping it to 20mg until my follow up appointment in mid-march.
Initially, only after one day, I felt the effects immediately, and it was truly fantastic. My DR improved dramatically and the only side effect I had was feeling buzzed and having a little bit of insomnia.
However, as the first week went on, probably after 4 days, my DR started to return. It also gradually worsened until I upped the dose, as instructed, at the end of the week.
Then I had some awful side effects including pounding headaches and severe insomnia/cracked out feelings, and my DR seemed exacerbated.
BUT, then after a few days on the higher dose I had a few really good days again where my DR was reduced significantly and I felt much more connected. I even had one day, last Wednesday, where I could honestly say I felt almost fully recovered and it was absolutely incredible. Unfortunately, the next day symptoms returned unprecedented, and then I fell into the abyss again.

Hopefully I'll be able to get some more good days in soon. This is my first time trying anything like this so I know my experience is extremely narrow and limited but it has kind of made me feel like medication does have the potential to be a facilitator in recovery. At the very least it might be able to assist by reducing some symptoms enough to inspire strength and persistence in getting at the core of dp/dr and beating it.

I'll update as things develop.


----------



## juls09

i am on the same thing. i have been taking it for 3 weeks. i also have good days then bad. i had a reactiob the first week where i just started shaking and got super dizzy but they said it was my body adjusting to the medicine. i felt relief right away and i have really akward days sometimes. but i am starting to see the difference i also gave up caffine and smoking and that is making a world of difference. i have my good days and my bad days but trying to get healthier physicaly is helping and next week i start consuling. you can do it just remain optimstic and do the best you can. there is also a post on here its like 7 postives to help dp that really helped me feel better. keep us up to date


----------



## juls09

its called 7 postive theroies in the road to recovery section


----------



## davewilly

Citalopram saved my life, and it's saving it again now. Good luck. It's a pig to come off though, took me two years, (I was on 20mg for 6 years) had to cut the tablets down into 16 pieces and reduce dose veeeery slowly. Back on it now though..


----------



## kate_edwin

I wouldn't take "that's normal" as a rrspoce to dizzy and shakey but that's me

sounds like maybe it could help after the dose has leveled off, that's probably a better time to see if you want to keep it, but don't stop those all at once, gotta go slow


----------



## noname

I dont want to scare you, but Ive had same type of reaction 1,5 year ago with citalopram, up and down (period of excitation where DP was far less apparent alternated with other of massive neurotic symptom+DP ) wich became harder and harder, and finally it send me into a mix of manic and delirious state after stopping progressively (this was paradoxically the better moment ive had from 6 years, even if outside the oral exam I passed at this stage, I wasted all what is possible to waste, appartment, girlfriend, pattern of sleeping, family, budget...). 
I recovered gradually, thought, but Im left with a depression wich is more severe than before the SSRI (without the up), + some psychological problem/guilt/trauma due to the clash between the social me while the problem and after.


----------



## LogLady

Thought I'd update:

So, it's been almost two months since I started taking the medication and I'd say I'm fully acclimated to the 20mg I've been taking minus the the first week (10mg). No more swinging back and forth, no more manic relapses, pretty even keel with my visual symptoms and debilitating feelings being significantly reduced. I still have some visual disturbances (visual snow, floaters, some destabilization when walking, slight depth skewing, some light sensitivity and bleeding) but in comparison to the severe DR I was experiencing before (unreal depth perception, severe light bleeding and destabilization or "bouncing," constant dizziness, inability to focus on characters, etc.) these residual symptoms are relatively not that bad. My digestion has also improved and I no longer have severe gut pain that lasts for days, but I still exhibit some IBS symptoms. Frequent exercise and a good diet is helping me there too I think, feeling very fit and healthy lately, good energy. For the first time in awhile I started getting excited about some things again too. And most importantly, I CAN READ NOW. I can study, work, and not feel absolutely insane when talking to people face to face in the midst of visual chaos.

I think that this has had a huge impact on the progress of my recovery. It seems to give me the breathing room to ground myself. I feel much more grounded and capable in my body and mind now. I'm not 100% recovered but I think I'm getting pretty close. It was pretty rough at first (the intense swings like noname was referring to, splitting headaches, twitching, and other weird feelings) but now that I'm used to it I'm not noticing any side effects other than decreased libido, which has made sex kind of a challenge, but this is relatively minor.

I'm going in for a follow up in a couple weeks and I'll see where my new PCP thinks we should go from here. I'll update again as things develop.


----------



## fasi999

LogLady said:


> Thought I'd update:
> 
> So, it's been almost two months since I started taking the medication and I'd say I'm fully acclimated to the 20mg I've been taking minus the the first week (10mg). No more swinging back and forth, no more manic relapses, pretty even keel with my visual symptoms and debilitating feelings being significantly reduced. I still have some visual disturbances (visual snow, floaters, some destabilization when walking, slight depth skewing, some light sensitivity and bleeding) but in comparison to the severe DR I was experiencing before (unreal depth perception, severe light bleeding and destabilization or "bouncing," constant dizziness, inability to focus on characters, etc.) these residual symptoms are relatively not that bad. My digestion has also improved and I no longer have severe gut pain that lasts for days, but I still exhibit some IBS symptoms. Frequent exercise and a good diet is helping me there too I think, feeling very fit and healthy lately, good energy. For the first time in awhile I started getting excited about some things again too. And most importantly, I CAN READ NOW. I can study, work, and not feel absolutely insane when talking to people face to face in the midst of visual chaos.
> 
> I think that this has had a huge impact on the progress of my recovery. It seems to give me the breathing room to ground myself. I feel much more grounded and capable in my body and mind now. I'm not 100% recovered but I think I'm getting pretty close. It was pretty rough at first (the intense swings like noname was referring to, splitting headaches, twitching, and other weird feelings) but now that I'm used to it I'm not noticing any side effects other than decreased libido, which has made sex kind of a challenge, but this is relatively minor.
> 
> I'm going in for a follow up in a couple weeks and I'll see where my new PCP thinks we should go from here. I'll update again as things develop.


----------



## fasi999

LogLady said:


> Thought I'd update:
> 
> So, it's been almost two months since I started taking the medication and I'd say I'm fully acclimated to the 20mg I've been taking minus the the first week (10mg). No more swinging back and forth, no more manic relapses, pretty even keel with my visual symptoms and debilitating feelings being significantly reduced. I still have some visual disturbances (visual snow, floaters, some destabilization when walking, slight depth skewing, some light sensitivity and bleeding) but in comparison to the severe DR I was experiencing before (unreal depth perception, severe light bleeding and destabilization or "bouncing," constant dizziness, inability to focus on characters, etc.) these residual symptoms are relatively not that bad. My digestion has also improved and I no longer have severe gut pain that lasts for days, but I still exhibit some IBS symptoms. Frequent exercise and a good diet is helping me there too I think, feeling very fit and healthy lately, good energy. For the first time in awhile I started getting excited about some things again too. And most importantly, I CAN READ NOW. I can study, work, and not feel absolutely insane when talking to people face to face in the midst of visual chaos.
> 
> I think that this has had a huge impact on the progress of my recovery. It seems to give me the breathing room to ground myself. I feel much more grounded and capable in my body and mind now. I'm not 100% recovered but I think I'm getting pretty close. It was pretty rough at first (the intense swings like noname was referring to, splitting headaches, twitching, and other weird feelings) but now that I'm used to it I'm not noticing any side effects other than decreased libido, which has made sex kind of a challenge, but this is relatively minor.
> 
> I'm going in for a follow up in a couple weeks and I'll see where my new PCP thinks we should go from here. I'll update again as things develop.


Well I have been on citalopram for the last 3 years now and i feel its a life saver for cuz I have tried no less than 10 different SSRI's and SSNi's but I have to say that citalopram works best amongst all. But as one of the posts mentioned its hard to get off the drug though. I am currently on 15mg and that dose suits me best, for some reason any lower dose makes me more panicky and the higher dose makes my dp worst cuz it makes your mind more numb you feel less anxious but at the same time you feel like a zombie.

I have done lots of research over the years and nothing helped but this medicine. Been on klonopin or clonazepam for few years but now cuz of its effects on long-term used i decided to quit and i am in the final stages of tapering or getting off this meds.

I cant really say about anything else that made me feel better cuz for some bizarre reason i have always relied on meds. I feel I have hardware problem and not a software problem ....lol dont know why i feel like that but no therapy or diet exercise ever made me feel better.

But I am not sure how and when i will be cured meds truly cannot cure dp/dr it just makes things a bit better for i would say 15% better than when you are not on any meds.

HOPE is all i would say keeps us all alive and obviously prayers do help a lot.

May God cure us, bring us alive once again or atleast make things a bit better for us.....but one thing for sure and i promise you guys IF we ever end up in paradise we will live for ever dp free thats my PROMISE!


----------



## Emillie

I really needed this info, now im super reassured








Thank you so much !


----------



## AndyD

LadyLog,
Are you still on Citalopram? Are you still doing okay on it? Hope so. Give us an update when you get a chance. Thanks


----------



## LogLady

Hey guys, sorry for the late update, so much going on.

Unfortunately I have relapsed somewhat as of last week, not really sure why, just kind of came out of nowhere. I'm still on 20mg and it definitely is continuing to help. I feel like I had a truly amazing run of feeling consistently and holistically pretty great again, physically and mentally. Almost an entire month! For whatever reason I started feeling weird again about 5 days ago and IBS returned along with fatigue and dp/dr. Still, I have faith now. I also have a full psychiatric evaluation tomorrow and I hope to get a better understanding of the options available for dp/dr and maybe even get some new stuff to try. Other than that, working out obsessively as my gut permits and keeping really busy.

I'll be back with a new update soon! Hopefully I have something to share after my eval tomorrow.



AndyD said:


> LadyLog,
> Are you still on Citalopram? Are you still doing okay on it? Hope so. Give us an update when you get a chance. Thanks


----------



## LogLady

UPDATE!!

So, I saw a psychiatrist on Monday and I finally felt like I was talking to someone who knew what I was dealing with. He upped my Citalopram dose to 40mg and also put me on Clonazepam which I can take whenever symptoms seem to be bad. Since then symptoms have been reduced even more than they were before! With the higher Citalopram dose and the Clonazepam as insurance (which seems to help my IBS and sleep a ton) I feel like I'm getting closer to having it all under control!

I'll report back in a few weeks after I've acclimated to the medication. Good vibes!


----------



## ThreePlateDan

That's great news! Keep up to date on how things continue to progress.

So is it the case that this combo is not only helping DP/DR but other issues (e.g. anxiety/depression) as well?


----------



## jut1983

hey, please could you give us an update on progress?


----------



## LogLady

jut1983 said:


> hey, please could you give us an update on progress?


Hey all,

Great news. I have to say, this combo has gotten me closer to dp/dr free than ever. I do still have disturbances but they are relatively VERY minimal (floaters, snow, bouncing, light sensitivity). Depth perception issues have been largely eliminated. I still have some small relapses every once in awhile, but they are more of just an anxious feeling than a full blown visual relapse. I'm going to follow up with my doc next week, and will probably follow up with the psychiatrist not long after. The reason I'm not updating as much is because I'm super busy and doing a lot of stuff because my capacity to do things is returning! RARELY do I feel like I'm not grounded in reality anymore. BUT, I will continue to return and give you guys progress notes. I'm going to look more into my IBS in the meantime with my PCP, as I still have some conspicuous symptoms that I feel might be independent from DP/DR (although the clonazpam HAS helped calm it down some).

I know this is different for everybody, but I have marijuana induced severe DP/DR, and this combo is working wonders. seriously.

Best of luck, I'll return in a bit.


----------



## Nara Osga

Its really great to read this, I started Citalopram today, and I really hope it can help me. I know its bad to relie too much and be frustrated after that, because a medication can work for some and not for others. I'm on DP since I was a kid and I kinda dont remember how does it feel to be excited about something. I'm also with modafinil because narcolepsy, but It never did a progress in my DP. I think it gets it worse, but can be just me, I'm not really sure of that. Sorry for my english, I can't find a good forum about DP in brazil. =/


----------



## jut1983

hey log lady, sorry to keep bothering you but I've been following your post and was wondering if you could give us another update? regards


----------

