# What is Recovery?



## Sean O'Connell (Aug 16, 2011)

It seems to me for DP/DR a disorder that dissolves your existence, both perceptually and in thoughts, the recovery process must also be abstract. Things that you take for granted like you house, your family, and your body seem foreign. So, what is recovery? Do these thoughts dissapper? Is it the thoughts that become so engrained in our being that are changed. Or is it the physical feeling that alleviates and everything follows suit. Do you rationaliza and thoughtfully marginilize these irrational thoughts. Or do you try to cover them up and forget about them through busy schedules? What's the difference between recovering from Depression related DP and Anxiety related DP, or even substance abuse DP. Doesnt the realization of our recovery just confirm the existance of a disorder? So tell me here, what recovery is for you.


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## PhoenixDown (Mar 3, 2011)

Recovery is when the feeling of being depersonalized is as foreign to you as the feeling of being real is when you are within the depersonalized state.


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

PhoenixDown said:


> Recovery is when the feeling of being depersonalized is as foreign to you as the feeling of being real is when you are within the depersonalized state.


exactly ^^

I recovered 100% back in the beginning of April for 3 weeks. I was in the hospital when this happened. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and all of a sudden I felt like something just purged out of my soul. I don't know how else to describe it other than that. I looked around and I had gained back total clarity, everything seemed bright and clear and crisp as it should be. I felt fully conscious, not just in a sleep-wake state. Recovery feels awesome. For me, it happened sporadically, spontaneously, without notice. I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, and not to put a damper on the excitement...but I relapsed after 3 weeks of recovery (so by April 21), and by relapse I mean ended up worse off than I had originally started a year and 2 months before. When it goes...it goes. Everything goes back to how it used to be. It's like being in a cave for so long, and finally being able to see the light again. You see the world as it is. Hope this helped answer your question. But I agree wholeheartedly with PhoenixDown's statement.


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## Soul Seeker (Jun 6, 2011)

insaticiable said:


> exactly ^^
> 
> I recovered 100% back in the beginning of April for 3 weeks. I was in the hospital when this happened. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and all of a sudden I felt like something just purged out of my soul. I don't know how else to describe it other than that. I looked around and I had gained back total clarity, everything seemed bright and clear and crisp as it should be. I felt fully conscious, not just in a sleep-wake state. Recovery feels awesome. For me, it happened sporadically, spontaneously, without notice. I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, and not to put a damper on the excitement...but I relapsed after 3 weeks of recovery (so by April 21), and by relapse I mean ended up worse off than I had originally started a year and 2 months before. When it goes...it goes. Everything goes back to how it used to be. It's like being in a cave for so long, and finally being able to see the light again. You see the world as it is. Hope this helped answer your question. But I agree wholeheartedly with PhoenixDown's statement.


I'm sorry to hear that you relapsed...why do you think it happened?


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## insaticiable (Feb 23, 2010)

Soul Seeker said:


> I'm sorry to hear that you relapsed...why do you think it happened?


I'm not entirely sure, and am still seeking the answer to that question almost 5 months later. I was doing so well. I also suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and have read that dp/dr occurs sometimes with this disorder in response to ''negative affects.'' I really don't know. It sucks though b/c I am a lot worse than I was before I recovered.


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