# Triggers



## Shapiro (Nov 7, 2011)

On the finally stretch to recovery, I'm really pin pointing my triggers. Alot of them suprised myself and my loved ones. Turns out Im very senstive to critsism. Someone says something alittle negitive, and Im convinced the entire endevour is a failure and the person hates me. Another is if I'm overwhelemed. The big one is those hopeless self defeting thoughts. "Im a faliure", "I'll never get well"...ect. Was wondering if we all have similer triggers, or if its entirely uniuqe. And how everyone deals with them.


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Shapiro said:


> On the finally stretch to recovery, I'm really pin pointing my triggers. Alot of them suprised myself and my loved ones. Turns out Im very senstive to critsism. Someone says something alittle negitive, and Im convinced the entire endevour is a failure and the person hates me. Another is if I'm overwhelemed. The big one is those hopeless self defeting thoughts. "Im a faliure", "I'll never get well"...ect. Was wondering if we all have similer triggers, or if its entirely uniuqe. And how everyone deals with them.


Great thread idea!

I have a similar trigger. Thoughts about others thinking negative things about me is probably my biggest trigger.


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## Depersonal Eyes (Oct 10, 2011)

Criticism and stress definately trigger me too. Just being around things that I was around during DP also triggers me. I wrote about this a long time ago on my blog, here. Luckily my triggers are not as bad anymore, I have conditioned myself to my surroundings a bit. I agree that another trigger is the thought that we are going to be like this forever. That makes us feel like we are in a deeper and darker hole. Positive thoughts make a huggge difference!


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## Guest (Nov 17, 2011)

never_giving_up said:


> Great thread idea!
> 
> I have a similar trigger. Thoughts about others thinking negative things about me is probably my biggest trigger.


Me too...


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## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

I have really been on this topic of triggers for the last few months, and finally have come to understand what causes my DP and how to get out of it. It really is my sensitivity to negative emotion-laden comments directed at me by cruel people. Today, I feel fine, connected and not depressed or anxious because I had a long talk with this male friend of mine who took some problem he had out on me the other day through some subtle verbal abuse over the phone. His anger was directed at me, and I could feel it in my limbic brain--emotions. I had to assure myself I was right and directly asked him if he had wanted to attack me verbally. He said, yes. These people who take things out on us know what they're doing, i.e. when you question them about their motives. They often lie and say they were frustrated about something else. They're LIARS!! I have a very strong intuitive sense about people and I'm not imaging it when I think that they hate me. This guy admitted that he hated me on a certain level. I am afraid of him, because he does have a cruel and vindictive streak in him--he has admitted that to me, as well. My goal now in life is to surround myself with people who are genuinely nice, those who don't INITIATE attacks. There's a difference between defending oneself and initiating abuse. My parents both were cruel and abusive towards me and thus, the pot causing the DP. I come out of this DP completely when I feel safe and secure in life, and when I have control over the abusers. This morning at work, I felt completely safe being around my verbally abusive boss because upper management put the shackles on him and stopped him from ever speaking to me again abusively. I'm not afraid of him anymore and act confidently around him and feel energized.


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Rebekah said:


> I have really been on this topic of triggers for the last few months, and finally have come to understand what causes my DP and how to get out of it. It really is my sensitivity to negative emotion-laden comments directed at me by cruel people. Today, I feel fine, connected and not depressed or anxious because I had a long talk with this male friend of mine who took some problem he had out on me the other day through some subtle verbal abuse over the phone. His anger was directed at me, and I could feel it in my limbic brain--emotions. I had to assure myself I was right and directly asked him if he had wanted to attack me verbally. He said, yes. These people who take things out on us know what they're doing, i.e. when you question them about their motives. They often lie and say they were frustrated about something else. They're LIARS!! I have a very strong intuitive sense about people and I'm not imaging it when I think that they hate me. This guy admitted that he hated me on a certain level. I am afraid of him, because he does have a cruel and vindictive streak in him--he has admitted that to me, as well. My goal now in life is to surround myself with people who are genuinely nice, those who don't INITIATE attacks. There's a difference between defending oneself and initiating abuse. My parents both were cruel and abusive towards me and thus, the pot causing the DP. I come out of this DP completely when I feel safe and secure in life, and when I have control over the abusers. This morning at work, I felt completely safe being around my verbally abusive boss because upper management put the shackles on him and stopped him from ever speaking to me again abusively. I'm not afraid of him anymore and act confidently around him and feel energized.


Wow, thanks for sharing!

I recommend everyone read this


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## Rebekah (May 16, 2009)

The other "light-bulb" moment I've had lately is that people do change. And if those who are abusive and know it will admit it and stop abusing, then there is hope for a relationship. If a person will not repent (I hate to use that word--it's loaded, but it fits) of their behavior and doesn't recognize or own their stuff, then there is no hope. My father always told us everything was my mom's fault, and she counterblamed him for it all!! All that fighting!! This male friend of mine sort of half-heartedly says he meant to abuse me, but I'm not sure how sincere he is to change his behavior. He's manipulative to get what he wants and keep control over me. I pray that he sees the light. I asked him how I affect him? And if I abuse him, and he has said, no. I'm stuck now, because I'm emotionally invested in this friendship, and will feel a great loss if it fails. I'm hoping to replace this less satisfying friendship (it feels like he's from a foreign country other than the one I'm from.) with more fulfilling ones, and unfortunately, he will need to fade away. I want us to support each other in this transition to other people whom we're more suited for--that's true friendship. I can't wait to get out of this bureaucratic workplace horrorhouse today, since I have sooooo many drooling "get-off-on-power-tripping" bosses here--I just want to scream. See the connection? Cruel people loooooovvvveeeeee controlling others. They can literally get off on it. Explains rape, murder, child abuse. I don't have control over their abuse and my DP goes away Friday afternoons. I hope this info. helps you like it's helped me, to see where the hope lies in our recovery.


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## never_giving_up (Jun 23, 2010)

Rebekah said:


> The other "light-bulb" moment I've had lately is that people do change. And if those who are abusive and know it will admit it and stop abusing, then there is hope for a relationship. If a person will not repent (I hate to use that word--it's loaded, but it fits) of their behavior and doesn't recognize or own their stuff, then there is no hope. My father always told us everything was my mom's fault, and she counterblamed him for it all!! All that fighting!! This male friend of mine sort of half-heartedly says he meant to abuse me, but I'm not sure how sincere he is to change his behavior. He's manipulative to get what he wants and keep control over me. I pray that he sees the light. I asked him how I affect him? And if I abuse him, and he has said, no. I'm stuck now, because I'm emotionally invested in this friendship, and will feel a great loss if it fails. I'm hoping to replace this less satisfying friendship with more fulfilling ones, and unfortunately, he will need fade away. I hope this info. helps you like it's helped me, to see where the hope lies in our recovery.


Indeed, people do change, but it happens rarely. Honest people are few and far between, but damn, they are worth seeking out.

I guess with your male friend, you need some closure. My only advice would be to continue being honest and vulnerable with him until you can't do it any longer. If he's open to change then he'll reciprocate your honesty and vulnerability. If not, then you'll know he's no good for you.

My sympathies if you lose him. I had a similar experience with a friend earlier this year.


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## TheEndIsFuckingNigh (Aug 25, 2011)

Thinking about philosophy and existentialism.
OCD thoughts.
Rejection.


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