# When I get to 1000 posts...



## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

...I'm sure you'll agree that it is natural law that I be promoted to Moderator.

And I'm sure you'll agree that I never start arguments or raise my voice, so I am the ideal candidate to moderate.

I'll be waiting......... :twisted:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

But surely you can see the sense in it Clover ?


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

:evil:

Right, the decision has been made. When I am moderator and emperor of the universe, you shall be the first to feel my wrath of grapes. Don't moan, you brought it on yourself !!!!!!!


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

That's more like it. Know your place. :lol:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Did I say you could talk woman ? :lol: Speak when spoken to, and then only to lavish praise on my wonderfulness.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Only 25 to go !! Are you watching Mr Revelation?


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

Do we really need more moderators?


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

Modded. Last mod for a long time. I hope.

Fight the man!


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## sebastian (Aug 11, 2004)

My contention has always been that it would be good to have someone in one of those ridiculous time zones that are in the future, like Martin's England is. That way he can patrol the grounds while we're asleep. There has been whispers of a European syndicate scheming for quite some time as to how to infiltrate the dp-selfhelp group. If they were to strike whilst we slept innocently in our beds dreaming of sugarplums and other such frivolities, we would be rendered helpless. They could post their European SPAM all over the board and we wouldn't know about it until it was too late.

Another more potent reason to knight Martin is so that he will, once and for all, shut the hell up about it!


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

sebastian said:


> Another more potent reason to knight Martin is so that he will, once and for all, shut the hell up about it!


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Well I'll be damned. Hell has frozen over. :lol:

I now fear your ego will indeed spill out of your ears. Best to have some kind of pain pills on hand.

Hey really, Congrats.

terri*


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

The Ego has landed

And a jolly well done ol chap. Good to see a Brit on the team.


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## enigma (Feb 18, 2005)

Congratulations, Martin, I've really been rooting for you in this all along! 

e


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Well, what an amazng turn of events. I really didn't expect it, but I certainly thought that I deserved it. :lol: Just like money, fame, women, all without getting out of my bed.

Thanks Rev, and to my loyal troops for their support in my crusade. Lik you said, you probably don't need another Moderator as the rest of them do feck all anyway, which is what I propose to do. But as Sebastian said, it will probably be worthwhile to have a Moderator in Europe who can monitor the carnage while the rest of you are asleep.

Now, for all of you that have crossed swords with me.......ooooooh...you're in for it in now. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: That was a joke by the way.

Ah, first the Dickleburgh Post, now this. The glory of it.....the power.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

Well, well Lord Martin of Dickleburgh. I don't think our friends across the pond are up yet so you only have me to talk to. 
So, what do you plan to do with your new found power? Any political strategies in mind? Abolish all talk of religion on the forum?

I bow before thee

:wink:


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

I'll start with something small. World domination. I've decided on a name, Emperor Catastrophic, but I'm a bit stumped on what to do next. Start a hareem? Oh, I know, speaking of stumps, I've got to outlaw feet. Remove them right now! I command thee.

No no no. Religion has it's place. As moderator, I think I shouldn't venture in there anymore to spew my rages. It's quite unbecoming someone of my exhaulted status.

Anyway, I promised Rev and Sebatian I wouldn't talk about it anymore.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I hate feet too. But not enough to cut my own off. Sorry. I kind of need them. Can I sacrifice something else to you? Like an eyelash or something?


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

Did you see heat magazine this week? I doubt it, it is a peasant's weekly, but Kathleen Turner has the most awful feet I have ever seen in my life.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Hee hee...I've just realised that I can edit other peoples posts. Oh, the temptation. I think I'm going to go and have a cold shower. I must not, will not. Shall not.

Anyway, back to your feet. It's quite painless. I just get one of my minions to remove them with a nail file. And as one of my favouite wifes, I will give you the choice of stump attachments, free of charge. You could have springs, wheels, ski's, saucepans, origami fans made out of peacock feathers with little bells on ? They are the latest fashion I believe. Either way, the foot removal police will be around your house at 8pm. I suggest you put plastic sheets over the furniture and lock all your pets away. Oh, and make sure you have a bucket.

I can't bare to look at that picture. It makes me feel sick. Really, it does. You wicked woman. :twisted:


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## Lilymoonchild (Jun 18, 2005)

K, I don't have a problem with feet per se, but that one foot with the weird toes is rather disturbing.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

Springs please!


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Springs it is. Extra springy (jumping over houses, that kind of thing), or just the normal type. Also, they come in three colours, flesh, apricot and Ferrari red. They have a six month warranty, but don't bother trying to bring them back, because our customer service department is pathetic.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)




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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

:lol:

Did you just draw that? Nice one.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I am SO bored
Can you tell?
I drew it with Paint


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

It's very good.

People still use Paint? I thought they phased that out with the ZX Spectrum. I get other people to paint pictures for me. And airbrush out my hideousness.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

I can do that too, if you like, would like me to airbrush a photo of yours to make you look more Moderator-ish?


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Thanks, but no thanks. Have you seen what the rest of them look like? It's only the safety of this forum that prevents them being carted off to the Circus. :wink: We have the bearded lady, the worlds smallest man, the wolf boy, the whole freak show....so, no, I don't think I, as the worlds fattest man, would fit in the cage.


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## g-funk (Aug 20, 2004)

You don't look fat in the photos.

Weird, but not fat.....
just kidding


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

Off to keep the grandbaby, but could not help but get on to see how you would embrace being moderated.

Emporer Catastrophic, huh?

Sir Moderator would be easier to type. Can we just go with that?

If you were a Viking we could call you something like Martin the Mad...I mean Mod.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Emperor Catastrophic is too difficult ? Hmm. How about Mr Lover Lover?
Sex Machine? Lord of the bordello?


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## terri* (Aug 17, 2004)

No...no...they just don't seem to have the right ring to them...not quite catchy enough...and if I might add, a bit perverse in nature. 8)

How about *Ruler of Zeus* ? That would be like being the King of all the Greek gods. :shock:

Now that, my man, would be huge!

Believe me, waaaay toooo many men think of the King of the Bordello thing. Much, much too common for you... What with You being what could be the last known person to receive a nod of Moderatorhood into the Mental Mafia. :wink:

Think about it.


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