# My girlfriend has depersonalization disorder. How can I help?



## Guest (Aug 14, 2014)

I'm in love with a girl who has had DP for about 9 months now. It was marijuana induced, so she will get better over time. She has seen two therapists, neither of them really helped. Apparently their consensus is to go by the books, which do not recognize depersonalization as a real severe disorder. She has come a long way and I can tell she has recovered a lot, even though when she has episodes of DP she thinks the opposite. Someone once suggested to me that we speak of the severity of her DP in a matter of percentage. She has normally been around 60-70% come night time. Her DP worsens in bright light or too much dark. Her anxiety also worsens it. Her mother does not believe her condition is real, so she will constantly yell and hit her. The rest of her family doesn't seem to care about her condition either. It seems like I am the only person trying to support her. I'm asking if there is anything I can do as her boyfriend to help her recover faster. Thank you so much for your feedback


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## mana_war (Jul 3, 2014)

First of all from what I know . How it was induced doesn't effect how long it will be there or if it will get better over time on its own. If anything, marijuana seems to be a common point in most stories of people who got it and as you can see many people who have it didn't recover. If she just has episodes and it's not constant that can be a good sign. It can be triggered by weed but weed is not the cause, that's the first thing to realize here. Weed brought out something that was already there. What that means is that she has anxiety. That may be in the form of repressed childhood trauma, or any other extreme stress that may currently exist in her life...telling from your post i'm guessing for her like many it's family. Abuse comes in many forms, physical, verbal, mental, sexual and all effect people more than they can deny it to themselves afterwards..Notice when she gets these episodes and what thoughts came to her mind in that moment or what event triggered that. light making it worse is common ..As a boyfriend you need to be there, you need to really care and not have an infactuation type love towards her or a dynamic of relationship that will cause her more stress. You need to keep her in a positive mindset without directly saying it"you'll recover" dont ignore it but don't talk about it that often..Be a safe haven..a lot of people got better when theyy got away from the stressors and found somewhere safe. Encourage her to have a fuck dp attitude..it isn't gonna bring her down. She's still there alive and well...Most stories of people who recovered either claimed they ate something , or absolutely stopped giving a **** ..Over analyzing is one of the worst things she can do. If u want more understanding feel free to read around but don't get put down by the negativity. In a lot of ways this is something she needs to deal with for herself..just try to give her the support to do that. Writing down things is also very releasing..tell her to write about all the stress until she crys and tell her to sob hysterically if she feels like she needs to.

Good Luck I wish her the very best


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2014)

Thanks. I'll be sure to do everything I can.


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## jujuelephant (Nov 12, 2013)

From what it sounds like, you seem to be the only person who unconditionally supports and loves her throughout this whole ordeal. With that in mind, I would say the most important thing for you to do is just that--to be there for her, and to let her know that she is not alone. When I struggled with my own DP, I was in a foreign country, away from my family and didn't really have anyone I could truly confide in about this stuff. I think if I had someone there for me, my suffering would've been significantly lowered. SO be patient, remind her that she is not going crazy and that the sensations she's feeling are not going to harm her. I found that just being around friends or having someone accompany me on the bus or to the supermarket helped to make my DP symptoms more bearable. I generally think it's better for people with DP not to be left alone for too long because then they can start thinking and over-analyzing all of the sensations/frightening thoughts associated with it. At least that's how it was for me :/ So having a loving, supporting friend/boyfriend even just as a sort of distraction I think is a wonderful thing for her. There's really no way to 'force' a cure, you just kind of have to ride the DP out and have patience. Anyway, I wish you both luck


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## Guest (Aug 16, 2014)

Thank you so much 
I'll do everything I can for her.


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## Guest (Aug 16, 2014)

duke_weebalose said:


> I'm in love with a girl who has had DP for about 9 months now. It was marijuana induced, so she will get better over time. She has seen two therapists, neither of them really helped. Apparently their consensus is to go by the books, which do not recognize depersonalization as a real severe disorder. She has come a long way and I can tell she has recovered a lot, even though when she has episodes of DP she thinks the opposite. Someone once suggested to me that we speak of the severity of her DP in a matter of percentage. She has normally been around 60-70% come night time. Her DP worsens in bright light or too much dark. Her anxiety also worsens it. Her mother does not believe her condition is real, so she will constantly yell and hit her. The rest of her family doesn't seem to care about her condition either. It seems like I am the only person trying to support her. I'm asking if there is anything I can do as her boyfriend to help her recover faster. Thank you so much for your feedback


Something which is very helpful for anyone who suffers a dissociative disorder is to learn how to ground themselves. I'd encourage you to look up 'grounding techniques' and get your gf to try some out. There's a topic around here somewhere called 'grounding techniques' (I can never find it for some reason) which has many great ideas..

From what you said about how her family is treating her.. she needs to distance herself from abuse like that. Being yelled at and hit will make her constantly dissociative. It's almost impossible to break the cycle of dissociation when you're in an abusive environment and feeling threatened.. It'll keep her mind in 'protection mode' - dissociation.


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## energy92 (Jul 29, 2014)

duke_weebalose said:


> I'm in love with a girl who has had DP for about 9 months now. It was marijuana induced, so she will get better over time. She has seen two therapists, neither of them really helped. Apparently their consensus is to go by the books, which do not recognize depersonalization as a real severe disorder. She has come a long way and I can tell she has recovered a lot, even though when she has episodes of DP she thinks the opposite. Someone once suggested to me that we speak of the severity of her DP in a matter of percentage. She has normally been around 60-70% come night time. Her DP worsens in bright light or too much dark. Her anxiety also worsens it. Her mother does not believe her condition is real, so she will constantly yell and hit her. The rest of her family doesn't seem to care about her condition either. It seems like I am the only person trying to support her. I'm asking if there is anything I can do as her boyfriend to help her recover faster. Thank you so much for your feedback


Duke,

I suggest you to book her an appointment for a headache/migraine massage; she will feel much better after, because it will relief all the pressure thats been trapped in her head to make its way down towards her whole and in return it will open up the nasal passage of her nose for oxygen to reach her her brain i suggest you to book her for a headache/migraine massage of 1 hour

This is a video that willl show you how it work






In this video they hold onto the pressure points that cause sinus, headache, etc by holding onto these pressure points eventually the anxiety & other negativities end up leaving the body

Try it and tell us how she feels; i almost gurantee she will feel relieved


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