# Almost Done



## AlmostDone (Sep 4, 2014)

Hi everybody,

I am almost done with this weird disorder.

If you think... oh another one who is just almost done... well don't underestimate the small steps.

I have been here before as a regular poster with another nickname but this does not matter anymore.

I got DP almost excactly one year ago from smoking one joint with friends.
It wasn't much but it was enough to get DP.

So in Septemer 2013 I got DP and lived 4 months with absolutely no clue of what I have.

I soon found out about DP but it just seemed to be a big ?.

Later on, I've found this board, which helped me very much.

I won't write anything new.

So here are the symptoms, to which I have been through.

If you are not very stable, don't read them.

*trigger warning*

- Feelings of unreality

- Feelings of being light, floating

- Feelings of everything is fake

- Alienation from my body, food, my mouth, my tongue, just thinking we are mere atoms and nothing else

- Feeling trapped in first person view, seeing disturbed me

- Severe panic attacks and states of just being frightened

- Weight loss (not eating anything)

- Feeling like my face is a mask

- Afraid of my skin, my bones, my body, my organs

- Feeling of just being a pair of eyes with no body

- Stupid thoughts like being possesed ... and stuff

- No sleep

- Being afraid of my own thoughts

- Feeling of losing my identity

- Everything is just weird

and many many more... everything is strange.

And the good thing is... I am through with these symptons.

I've done it without any medication.

It was end of February / beginning of march when I actually started with recovery.

I've read here through a lot and started to take responsibility.

We are responsible for our own DP.

So here are my two most important tips:

- Stop that google shit

- Don't come to this board as long as you don't need it!

I know you have read them a lot here, but THEY ARE TRUE!

Some people ignore the advices of recovered people... but they work.

And the most important thing is:
Acceptance.

This took me about 4-5 months to REALLY accept it.

Not only "I accept it."
If you really accept it, DP will slowly start to fade.

DP has to lose the power over you.
As long as you feed it with respect and fear, DP will stay and it will get worse and stronger.

I don't say these things just like that, I really know how hard it is, but of course like most of the others, I can't remember everything of the worst time.

I know that it costs you strength, a lot of mental power.

I cried a lot and stuff.

But that is good.

Let your emotions come through.

DP is a state to safe you.

I tell you like it is.

You create this alternative reality because you can't handle the real reality anymore due to something that happened in your past or a lot of emotional stress.

If you think, that you don't have one of those triggers, this is not true.

My psychiatrist told me, that DP is a habit that we create... and it just needs one trigger

(exams, move town or flat, fights with your family / friends, an exhausting relationship or just more unimportant things).

Triggers can be just like a feather... you don't really feel them because they are so light... but they hit you even if you don't feel it.

A low self-esteem is also mostly involved in most cases... this is true for myself.

Self doubt, always going down on myself, critisizing me for everything.

Those people are most likely to develope DPDR.

So what has helped me?

Realizing that I just come to the forum, when I really needed it.

Like I am feeling bad, okay come here and moan but then go on.

Read good stories, recovery stories. Avoid the posts, that drag you down.

Some people are here and they just don't learn or listen.

Avoid giving DP such a huge part of your everyday life.

I know it is hard in the beginning and it needs practice, because DP can be so persistent that you are not able to communicate with others because you are so "away".

When I really dissociated hard, I told the people around me that I am on my planet and they understood.

You have to take DP it's power.... and accept it for what it is... a state that will go away if you are wiling to work on yourself.

So it's been 6 months since I've started with recovery.

And as I said, I am not absolutely done with it.

But the fact, that 6 months later I am free of most symptoms, is so absolutely awesome!
If I think of the future, I know that maybe in another 6 months DP will fade.

You have to be patient. Don't push it.

Just don't care about it.

Find yourself new hobbies like I did (origami, making music).

Always do something that puts your thoughts away from Dp.

I have been to work almost everday.

In total I was just home for 3 weeks on sick leave because of Dp.

There were days where I just couldn't function.

That is okay.

But the next day take all your strength and GO INTO LIVE!

If you don't have a job or anything else, take care of other people or animals.

Give your life sense.

Find out, what is wrong with you.

For me, I know that something terrible happened when I was a child.
I found that out with my therapist.

I was not sexually abused but someone did something terrible to me, which I can't remeber.

But I know it is true.

You don't have to have a past like this to develope DPDR.

But in most cases, there is something.

And it's so painful I know.

But working on yourself is worth it.

Get your life back.

DP is nothing that harms you.

That thought always helped me.

DP is horrible but in the end, I am waking up and I am still standing.

It CAN'T kill me.

So what the f****, I told DP to do what it wants, because it won't bother me in any way.

If you get this attitude... then the next step comes.

The patience.

You really have to be patient.

If you start freaking out about it again because this stragety didn't work after 2 weeks you will be back in the begining.

Setbacks are normal and I still have setbacks... but this is only a question of time.

I tried out medication which didn't help me much and you can't delete your past with medication.
Some might help, maybe to calm you, but in fact it won't make the dp go away.

And there won't be a pill.

I mean you can wait year for year for a pill but instead I would take this time to do something with more sense and take care and responsibility for myself.

What helped me was

Omega 3 and Vitamin D and B with Ginko.

Those are nice little helpers to calm your mind.
Magnesium is good if you are frightened a lot.

Take care of yourself and value yourself.

That's all it needs... acceptance, patience and self-value.

It is hard... I know but DP WILL FADE!

No matter how long you've had it or how you got it.

My therapist and friends, exercising, having a good time and a good life helped me.

Working on my past and myself... !
I am still struggling with a few symptoms but I know that in another 6 months DP will be gone for good.

Never stop laughing. Never stop hoping. Never stop being kind.

Don't let yourself be killed by that stupid thing, which just wants to help you.

And in the end... I am still glad to be me... to live MY life.

Dp can't and it won't steal your identity or your life... this is just not possible because you'll be forever who you are.

No matter how you act or how you do... it is you.

Nothing can take your YOU away.

Find things that make you happy, eliminate things that make you sad.

Change your life, change your attitude...

Dp is just a NOTHING.

Even though it feels like EVERYTHING.

Good luck my friends


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## mana_war (Jul 3, 2014)

this is just not possible because you'll be forever who you are. ---i like that

thank you


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## Jabato (Jul 19, 2014)

Very inspiring, thanks for posting it!


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## Christine2391 (Jul 1, 2014)

You have no idea how much this post just made my day. I'm going thru the EXACT same symptoms that you did. Now I truly have hope that I will get over this. So thank you for that.


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## javierparedes24 (Sep 24, 2014)

Thanks a lot!

You're very inspiring.


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