# My New Life with Depersonalization...something I HATE



## Robbed718 (Jan 25, 2009)

Let me tell my story.

I am 17 and I went through a series of extreme stress over the summer. One day, I had a panic attack, everything turned white I thought I was dying etc,

Went to the ER They said I had panic dsorder.

Tried all the Therapy since then, Nothing worked. My mom finally was convinced to bring me to a psychiatrist last week after months of suffering from bouts of Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Loneliness, Suicidal Thoughts, Idealizations, feeling disconnected from reality and Panic Attacks. I also turned to Marijuana and Alcohol dto help cope with my problems, but I stopped realizing it would only hurt me. I was Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Panic Disorder. I was Prescribed Lexapro 10MG once daily and I am on day 3, still feel the same. However, they said it takes about a month before I wil lfeel better on Lexapro as any SSRI.

I have this problem that since the day I had the panic attack, nothing feels the same. Things feel as if my brain is in a fog, if that makes any sense. It can be hard at times to focus, but If I really take my mind away from it things CAN feel normal. I also feel like I do not have a sense of Identity, and I don't know who I am as a person. I feel at times it can be hard to thing, concentrate, and things feel numb and as if I dont get depressed as much anymore, but rather freak out about myself feeling like I am in a dream state that I cannot get out of. THis is not since the medication, this is more the thing I have been battling since the Emergency Room. I do not know what this is, however at times it can be VERY scsary. If I try hard enough, things can seem normal ,but most of the time, things can feel unreal and life feelsl ike its all black and white. THings feel numb and I feel like I am in a dream state and I feel as if my mind is gone somewhere else. Can anyone help me, and what do I Do to get rid of this, I want to feel better.

When I think about it it gets worse. I used to smoke Marijuana however do not anymore. Am I going to be this way forever, when will I feel beter? I hope I'm not going to feel this way forever, how do I snap out of it? What Causes it and how do I get a hold on reality. Someone PLEASE help me, I can't be this way forever!!!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Lots of people here are in the same boat. The more you try to "snap" yourself out of it, the more you will obsess and ruminate about yourself not being well. I don't have an answer for you, but my best advice would be to accept that this is how you are feeling at the moment, instead of trying to claw your way out (would that be accurate?). Easier said than done (I know), but really, no one knows if you will be this way forever. I'd like to say "no you will be perfectly fine" but at the same time don't want to bullshit you. Fact is there are people who do recover from this. Keep that in mind. It may be a long journey and it may not, take it for what it is, and do your best not to lose hope. Best of luck.


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## newuser20 (Feb 25, 2009)

i feel your pain.
message me if you want to talk about it


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## shatteredxfaithz (Mar 8, 2009)

i'm 17 as well, and feel the same way as you do.
a couple of weeks ago my mom brought me to a psychologist who prescribed lexapro as well;
yet i still feel the same.
life is an ongoing hell for me


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## zxccc (Mar 8, 2009)

I know how you feel...i have dp since january...hard life


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## blastedbrainfog (Jan 7, 2009)

Similar situation here, and I'm terribly sorry to hear this has happened to you.

I know for me, every day is a struggle and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

However, as hard as it can be when you feel like you're teetering on the brink of sanity is to remember to stay positive. You will have bad times and bad days and some days that aren't so bad and some times you could have sworn the feeling went away until you thought about it again. Hope is what you need to cling to. Stay busy to help pass the time.

You'll probably never be the person you were before. I'm not saying that to scare you, it's just the truth. People change all the time and in this case our mind/body is forcing change upon us. I like to think of it as an awakening. This is just a catalyst for change. When the proper changes have occured, your mind/body will be in a much better position than before. Think of it like tempering steel, except for all of us here now, we're still in the fire.

And for the record I'm on Cipralex. (Almost the same as Lexapro I believe) It hasn't done anything for the "fogginess" but it has reduced the number and severity of panic attacks.


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