# I recovered (mostly)



## JJ70 (Nov 1, 2010)

Hi all, my first post. I thought I'd share my story hope it helps.

I developed chronic DP and DR when I was 17 (I'm now 40). This happened instantly, I was lying in bed meditating and snap the world changed. I thought it was a sign from God or something and this was the way the world really was, but it was scary, I forced myself to go back to sleep hoping it would go away in the morning...It didn't.

I couldn't talk to anybody about what I was experiencing, at 16 years old I just did not have the emotional intelligence to communicate to anyone about this. I was so deep into DP DR that any anxiety was mild... emotionally I felt virtually nothing....this was the way the world really was and my eyes had just been opened up to it.

I carried on in this state for six months (I'd never ever heard of DP or DR and thought this experience was unique to me). Then I accidently heard a quote on the radio one morning (quite a famous one but I didn't know that at the time) "I THINK THEREFORE I AM". I couldn't argue with the logic ...I WAS REAL...this was the start of my recovery.

My second relavation was that although the world might actually be as I was seeing it...THAT THIS MADE ME FEEL BAD. A pattern of thinking that made me feel this bad ment I HAD A MENTAL ILLNESS A PATTERN OF THINKING THAT WAS UNHEALTHY FOR ME.

I still didn't have the skills at this young age to describe this properly to the Doctors or my parents and found the realisation that I was mentally Ill hard to cope with....this only happened to other people I was strong captain of the rugby team I couldn't get mentally Ill. I was diagnosed with depression lol...I had no help at all from the medical profession. So where did I find myself:

1 I was real
2 I was mentally Ill
3 I wasn't going to get any medical help.
4 I had to make the world real again myself.
5 I had to feel emotions to reconnect with the world.

It was point five that brought me out of chronic DP DR, I'd feel physical objects running my hands down walls feeling how solid they were, imagined sex and masturbated a lot, took risks and more risks forcing myself to feel fear associated with the solid world, I partied and socialised. Killed any shyness if i was dead already I had nothing to fear. Forced myself to have sexual feelings, love, sadness, how to cry, tried to feel the emotions of powerful films, let out my anger when I felt it, got in a relationship had sex more, argued when I wanted to, let it all out.

Within three months I had totally come out of DP DR. Although deep in the back of my mind once I'd recovered I was very afraid it would happen again, more afraid of this than anything.

In my mid twenties, this fear led to me developing an anxiety disorder...this really was separate from DP DR REALLY. I was some small bouts of DP/DR lasting seconds this scared the shit out of me and the anxiety built. This was a bastard to beat!

Anyway long thread and don't want to bore you all. But if anyone needs any advice info, or just want to hear the rest feel free to ask.

This is the first time I have talked in depth about this.

JJ


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## el_kapitano (Aug 21, 2010)

I'm glad that you're better now.


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## zath (Nov 1, 2010)

JJ70 said:


> Hi all, my first post. I thought I'd share my story hope it helps.
> 
> I developed chronic DP and DR when I was 17 (I'm now 40). This happened instantly, I was lying in bed meditating and snap the world changed. I thought it was a sign from God or something and this was the way the world really was, but it was scary, I forced myself to go back to sleep hoping it would go away in the morning...It didn't.
> 
> ...


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## zath (Nov 1, 2010)

thans JJ
we need to know more
what exactly u did to get out of that shit


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## JJ70 (Nov 1, 2010)

> 1 I was real
> 2 I was mentally Ill
> 3 I wasn't going to get any medical help.
> 4 I had to make the world real again myself.
> ...


Thats 100% what got me out of the Chronic DR and DP, realising points 1-5 and doing the rest.

I have to add in later years it returned in short bursts just a few seconds of fealing DR/DP which would make me panic, I then developed an anxiety disorder which I had to beat twice. *In my case* I'm 100% sure there was no link between DP/DR and anxiety, just the fear of going back there.

I'm pretty positive the research on DP/DR is flawed. I'm convinced it is a mini seizure that opens a new nural pathway to a different level of perception...I'm pretty confident of this, a lot of people report onset from smoking canabis, If i smoke weed even now it will bring on a burst of DP/DR...this will also cause a seizure in many eplileptics, many people with this disorder also have problems with fluresent lighting, anxiety is also related to seizures.

Drugs like lamotrogine and clonazepam which are being used to treat DP/DR also prevent seizures, but if a mini seizure has already opened a new nural pathway these drugs won't close it. My hypothosis from my own experience is that these drugs can prevent DP/DR occuring or relapsing into it probably useful for those who have repeated episodes of DP DR, but not much help to someone already there. clonazepam is also the ultimate drug in treating anxiety, anxiety can also cause mini seizures. This does not mean you have epilepsy everbody has mini siezures i.e. Deja Vu, leg jerks etc, it will also not show up on an EEG unless you are having a problem at the time. However various happy pills may assist in enabling you to carry out the methods mentioned to bring yourself back to reality...but be aware all of the *pure* anti depressants I know of make seizure activity worse.

To get out of DP/DR I believe is psycological (was in my case)in order to reconnect with your original neuro pathaway you have to engage with it more strongly than the new one created when you went into DP/DR. Drugs can stop you having another mini seizure and falling back into DP/DR but will be of little use in bringing you out of chronic DP/DR

JJ


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## Kitr (Jul 7, 2009)

How did you cope with anxiety ? Did you have it daily for no reason ? Also did you have any depression?

I get now anxiety from food sometimes after 30mins of eating. (pressure in head, sometimes increased anxiety...). I'm sure i have also kandida because my farts smell really weird and i already had sotmach problems before DP DR. I got DP DR from weed actually. I'll write a full story soon.


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## Maxwell_phm (Nov 10, 2010)

How did you beat the anxiety and small, second long bouts of dr/dp? that is what im dealing with now and i want to fully recover. thanks


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## Myself (Apr 16, 2014)

i think so


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