# someone please help me!



## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

i am in the depths of despair and nothing makes sense.... im so frightend !!!!! i want to die.







nothing makes sense... im not dreamy or out of it,, i am purely terrified to be alive.. i am hysterical crying and so scared that i am here, concious, alive, all of it.. none of it seems to make sense to me anymore.. how can i go on... wat am i doing here on earth,, wat is earth. why does anything exist... i am in such a terrible state of fear... i dont believe my own mind... this life scares me.. i feel like we are born and just taught how to live and then we grow up and die... im so scared... i cant even explain it.... my hearts broken... every second of existing is excrutiating.. what am i goin to do... i feel like i have never been on the planet before.. i feel like humans look weird.. and my room.. and how am i me... i dont wanna be me .. i dont wanna exist at all!!! is this the anxiety and dr talkin.. i feel so lost confused and i cant go on.. please someone help me! xxx







i want my life and security back


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## stranger in the mirror (Feb 24, 2012)

hello katie,

sorry for my english but iam from holland









i will try and help you a bit, iam going trough the same thing as you right now only iam verry calm and you have to be to.

heres what i do when its realy bad: 
i will put on some music wich calm me down i set my mp3 realy loud so i cant think and force myself to listen to the lyrics.

go for a long jog, just set your mind to zero and run just run until you are to tired to do anything this is healthy and it does a good job for your anxiety









you have to try thinking like you dont care, just say to yourself: come on dp show me what you got, i can handle this, iam strong and wont let me beat down by this stupid thing, and dont get scared rgis will make it worse its hard i know.

if its realy bad i take some calming meds like xanax or lorazepam, but only went its realy realy bad, if you have some take it.

i wish you the best of luck, i wish i could help you or someone else but this is something you realy have to do alone, i can only give advice









hold on!! you can do it









jeff.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

thank you for responding to me.. i dont even know how to explain the immense fear.. like is it dp/dr even tho im not spacey anymore... im jsut in immense sadness and pain and feeling like i understand nothing about life.... i dont even know how r why i got here. (logically i know) but it frightens me to think of how i came to be... and how things are out my my control... like why life is the way it is... (male/female) etc. it feels all planned and like i am taking part in it...
my surroundings scare me because i feel as if i dunno how i just accept them.. and always have and it was just the norm.. 
u all probably think im mad.. but these thoughts are plaguing me to the point where i cant live at all... im frightend of my very existence!!!.


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## stranger in the mirror (Feb 24, 2012)

i dont think your mad, you have dp/dr if your wer mad i am to but iam not so your not.

these thought come with dp so you have to try and accept them, remember that you cant find an anwser to these question no one can so just let them go, its hard i know but you have to try, just lable them as false information.

it will gett beter my dp did so yours will to!


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

2 years later..







i was numb before and now i am feeling everything.. but i still feel like i have no identity ... and jsut so confused about being alive at all..... 
the depression and anxiety are unbearable... and i cant ever see myself gettin over it it now that i have thought so philosophically


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## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

I use to feel the exact same and what relived that issue completely for me was religion, I searched for a truth that felt right to me. My opinion is that life is an experience to find the truth and live it. I think having dp/dr creates many challenges in that but challenges exist in many forms in this world. What I'm doing now that I've come past the existential angst is confront what is triggering the anxiety that creates the paranoia leading to the unreal feeling.


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## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

I use to feel the exact same and what relived that issue completely for me was religion, I searched for a truth that felt right to me. My opinion is that life is an experience to find the truth and live it. I think having dp/dr creates many challenges in that but challenges exist in many forms in this world. What I'm doing now that I've come past the existential angst is confront what is triggering the anxiety that creates the paranoia leading to the unreal feeling.


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## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

Sorry I posted that twice I was trying to add an additional reply, iv noticed you said this feels planned and perhaps that's a stepping stone to finding answers to your questions.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

i dont understand the last thing that you said there? ya see religion and stuff like that freaks me out... wat scares me the most is how i got to be where i am today.. like understanding things etc.. like i was taught how to live by my parents.. ugh its so strange.. i feel like i look at my parents and im like how do i have my own personality if u made me ? how am i alive and in my own head at all... how am i in a body.. i dont really wanna know the answers.. i jsut never questioned this stuff ever before.. and im scared... life feels like a game i have to play along with.. these thoughts are not me soul searching.. these are from severe debilitating anxiety... thanks for your reply by the way


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## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

I understand. When I started questioning existence the aspect of questioning it in itself is the most terrifying thing, the horror in it felt like torture, I use to live but then I just questioned what living was into the extreme analysis of what reality was. It felt unnatural and it is because perceptions are being altered to coincide with perspectives that are based on anxiety, the way I look at it considering psychology and the mind in general is that problems that are deep rooted , create an anxiety response in your conscious thinking , since the issues are deep rooted they are hard to get at with an immediate problem solving stradigy in your thinking process the anxiety is sending you a message about it but if you gabby identified the issues down in those roots then the anxiety can get you experiencing a tremendous amount of paranoia because you don't know what it means, anxiety can be a good thing, letting you know that something might not be safe or that you need to do something, but with a deep rooted issue it seems threes no explanation for the anxiety, you can't take action, get paranoid and realty turns weird. my personal experience is what I go on, I've dealt this condition chronically and intensely, once I came to a point where I stopped flipping out about existence I learned some things being introspective (which I consider a better term personally then soul-searching because there was nothing dreamy about what I went through for your reassurance) what I realized is that I've got problems contributing from the developing period in my child good that have created something like a foundation for perceptual distortions in my thinking, for example I was neglected emotionally and never developed an appropriate concept of compassion and I've become aware how severely it can effect my perspectives, unlike a psychopath I have a conscience so its become a distressing issue in my mind and my anxiety is making it clear that its not right. I'm at a point now with dp/dr that it mildly effects me, I'm at a stage where i will be getting help to deal with the underlying issues. I don't know if anything I've said is helpful. This is my personal experience and I know how you feel. I've wrote this on my mobile so hopefully autocorrect hasn't messed up my words cuz I've wrote alot, hard to check over.


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## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

Religion also freaked me out, I had thoughts like it was a conspiracy to keep people civilized and under control and all sorts of things, there are alot of weird religions and delusions involved in several of them. I'm a believer after a long analytical search that there is a truth regarding spirituality that answers basically all of lifes questions. Everything else practically confuses this truth in my opinion that life is a test. Regardless of existential questioning good and evil are solid facts about reality and they can be solid prospects to give thought to when looking for meaning and reasoning in life.


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

thank you for your response ash.. i understand wat you are saying... so basically because my anxiety is so deep rooted. it comes out of context? so it feels like my very existence is terrifying... like i am placing the anxiety onto anything and everything???
i find i think so deeply into these thoughts that NOTHING makes sense.. i go into a complete state of panic and wonder how i am concious at all , how i can understand things and how i am here at all... i dont really wanna know the answers to those questions i jsut wanna stop asking... i never asked before.. ever... !.... 
i believe this is all real but i jsut dont know how ,why r why i have to be involved in it...
the way life is ... is wat scares me.. why is it the way it is. why am i a person.... my therapist says i do not actually care about these thoughts.. that they are a complete distraction from wat is really wrong.
i know it seems logical.. because i was never afraid of breathing or living before... but now it sends me into a panic.. 
however. these very thoughts are wat seems to send me into a panic so its so hard to believe.... although these thoughts did not arrive until after a long time of anxiety and depression...


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## huzzi (Oct 12, 2011)

Even i had a same thought in my mind few years back...but the only solution to all these questions are religion, undoubtly faith in God...I got all my answers from religion...All philosophy of life is present in religion...Read all heavenly books like bible / quran and slowly u will get all answers of your questions..I know kattie u dont have faith in religion but u can just use it as a type of treatment...I am sure the creator will definately help you, as He love you alot..


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

these thoughts are not wat is really wrong tho... its the emotions attached to them...


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## ashley50 (Feb 17, 2006)

The intensity of this will lessen in time on its own, you will be ok. I know its a complete nightmare.


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## wanna go away (May 22, 2012)

Girl, I feel your pain. I catch myself drifting in and out so frequently that reality confuses the shit out of me. But I hide it well. I don't know the answer but I do know that it sucks.....just hold on because people keep smiling and I want to be like them. I wish this for you too.


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## ItalioRican (May 7, 2012)

Every question you ask i have also, just looking around a room is like.. "holy shit, im here?"... its like you try to not care.. but something inside keeps telling you that you should.. no matter how much you say everything is ok and its just false information... your brain is like screaming at you that everything is wrong


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## katiej (Jan 21, 2012)

yes and is this all definately dp ? and when you got rid of it for a while did those questions fade?


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