# What my derealization and depersonalization feel like



## Alexa1996 (Jul 6, 2021)

Hi everyone…I just want to share my symptoms of depersonalization/derealization and see if anyone can relate. I’ll start off by acknowledging that this, along with anxiety & depression are the worst things. I’m barely hanging on my thread, so if you’re suffering too, know that my heart is with you.
It’s so hard for me to figure out the words to describe what I’m feeling sometimes. I spend most of my days frustrated because I don’t understand how to articulate what odd feeling this is. I just know I don’t feel like myself. I feel completely disconnected and unfamiliar with my
own thoughts, memories, family, etc. When I’m speaking it doesn’t even feel like it’s coming from me. I feel like I have zero control and like I’m operating on auto-pilot. I look around so much trying to figure out if I’m real and if my surroundings are real or fake. I feel like I’m dead and there’s no getting back to reality and I’m struggling to feel grounded.
I feel completely depleted and my strength feels absorbed…Please let me know if any of this feels familiar to you


----------



## Stevegalvez (May 12, 2014)

Hey Alexa, 

The amount of strength it took to write down your experience is truly commendable. I know you’re going through the worst right now but I promise you that you are not alone.

Sometimes it feels like you’re trapped in purgatory or trapped in an alternate reality where everyone is fake but I promise you these are all thoughts that our brain tells us and it is not fact.

All of us feel exactly the same. Alexa I promise you that you are real, I promise you that it’s going to get better one day it always does and it happens gradually.

The best advice I can give is to start looking at depersonalization as logical as possible. It is a coping mechanism your own brain put on itself to protect itself from overwhelming stress and anxiety.

if you develop this from drugs or you had a traumatic childhood or you had a Trumatic experience it’s all the same depersonlization

it is the same mechanism that comes into play if you were about to be eaten by a lion. The only difference is that it is stuck in this but it is not stuck in this forever. Now because there is no immediate threat your brain tells you that the mechanism itself is the threat and you start getting lost in your mind thinking all of these existential thoughts.

I promise you one day you’re gonna look back at this and see that it was all anxiety no matter how bad your symptoms get even if it’s physical it’s all anxiety. My suggestion is go to a doctor get your blood levels drawn and see if you’re missing any vitamins.

Cut out as much processed and junk food as you possibly can and start eating more nutrient dense foods, The best thing you can do is to surround yourself with people who love you and you love back and they truly make you laugh and happy. Start slow don’t overdo it and slowly you’ll feel the feelings of unreality will loosen.

Alexa you are real I promise you are real you are safe everything is OK you are not going crazy you will not lose control you will not fade away you will not get trapped in some sort of alternate reality you are here in this reality with billions of other existing human beings and millions of other people who have depersonalization and feel exactly like you.

screenshot this message if you have to and save this on your phone and read this at any moment you feel scared.

I beat this one before and I got back into it due to the amount of stress and burn out.

it’s OK to be scared it’s OK to feel like you can’t leave your room or your bed it’s OK to wear sunglasses all day because the lights are too bright it’s okay to feel like you need to take things slow. this is your life and I promise you will get better you just need to treat this as if your arm was broken and slowly let it heal and be gentle to your brain.

it’s OK if you have days that you feel like you’re getting better and then you feel like you take two steps back because that’s true recovery and that’s exactly how it happens and that’s perfectly fine we are human beings and we are not perfect and things aren’t going to go perfect but I promise you will heal from this.


----------

