# your cure - you gotta feel it in your gut



## theatreSpell (Jan 18, 2006)

hey Guys,

i think the answer to this problem needs to come in an emotional way. 
i've had dp on drugs AND off it. in fact first 5 times i had it was before i even touched weed.
i realised that my biggest problem (and i think this is the root of my dp) was that i lied to myself about who i was. i had to hide my true emotions, my true reactions and my true self from others because of the way i was raised, i was made to believe that i should not express myself, i was made to FEAR my own emotions, that if i showed them they would lead to something bad, like me being chastised, not loved etc.. so i feel like i was made to be intraverted while i actually was quite exraverted, and in a situation like that - how would one release their emotion? their feeling? the pain of not being able to release them showed up in dp. 
i think we all do this. we hide our emotions and our true selves. people with dp, or at least non-chemically triggered dp, are just very sensitive and self repressed.
for the longest time i pretended i was someone else. i had (still do to som extent) an alternate personality. the mask, the fakeness meant to get along with others. and that other personality was my protection, so that i wouldn't feel the pain of being me. having dp and finally seeing a therapist about made me realise what a disservice i was doing to myself by suppressing myself. 
ok. so enough about me

what we need to do is this:

think that we are actually a part of a whole, we are connected to others even though we feel that we're not

thinking that we are separate, wierd, dp ridden people is wrong. that's what feeds dp.

stop beating ourselves up

let ourselves grieve and extress our pain without shame

take responsibility for ourselves and most importantly our emotions

you are responsible to yourself to take care of yourself. take care of yourself out of LOVE not duty.

be your own best parent.

genuine love and care is undervalued in our society as a sign of weakness. well, then no wonder, we have so many people thinking that they are going crazy in silence. this is important, and we better stop lying to ourselves that it doesn't bother us, or that we're just going to settle for that, or that nothing can be changed. 
this is YOUR life. it can only be lived once. you are your own master. you can change it for the better. so treat yourself well, and be emotionally honest with yourself even if it hurts as hell, because once you've come out in front of yourself and accepted and forgiven yourself it won't hurt anymore.


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

I agree with you 100%. I think what it comes down to is that at our core we accept all emotions, thoughts and experiences , like babies do, but we are conditioned by our family and society only to accept certain ways of being, but by rejecting we dont get rid off the emotions and thoughts we simply repress them, and if later in life we encounter or experience any of the emotions or thoughts we have been conditioned to believe as bad then we experience anxiety as they threaten our sense of self which was created for surival, therefore in our heads these emotional states threaten our very survival and as repression no longer works we erect other barriers like DP.


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## maccapretz (Jun 12, 2006)

i only read some post on this forum and am very glad i read this one, this describes exactly how i believed my DP started.


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## widescreened (Jun 22, 2005)

Nice, nice post theatrespell. Very simple advice and thats the key to successfully improving yourself, simple advice that you go and apply. 2 bad not enough people come on this section and read posts from time to time, as it is helpful and encouraging.

the thing I need to improve on is reminding myself I am part of a bigger world. I still habitually gravitate to the life of a lighthouse keeper, which is an unnatural way of living.


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## desperado (May 12, 2006)

my situation was similar.
i very often hid my true emotions and seldomly expressed them liberately. even among family members and friends i was never like my true self. 
to some extent it is society and culture. we are teached to not express our true emotions in many situations, especially here in germany (i bet in italy or spain there are less dp sufferers)
and it is a matter of fact that if you don?t express your emotions you get sick over time. it can be different illnesses, depression seems to be one of the most common.
but in my case it was extreme. on the inside i was insecure, with low self esteem and on the outside i always pretended i was under control. i even managed to be under control when i was completely drunk. not even then i showed how i truely felt. i never let loose.
now i know that it was just a matter of time until i have to get ill because of this. 
therefore i know that first of all i have to change myself, my attitude towards life and myself to get better. this applies not only to my but to many on this forums. there are lots of stories on this board that could have been written by me because they are so similar to my situation.
so, i also think it is extremly important to express your emotions deliberately to yourself and towards others. never suppress any feelings.
but it is a process. something we have to learn. it takes time to change this.


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## Pablo (Sep 1, 2005)

I agree desperado that culture plays a big part as it is similar here in England that we are not supposed to express our emotions and even talk about things like feeling insecure or weak, people go on about the British "stiff upper lip" as if its actually a good thing. I went to Germany a few weeks ago and I was surprised at how similar the people and culture is over there.

I also always tried to keep myself under control even when drunk and maintian my self at all times, so taking ecstasy really was the most stupid thing I could have ever done as its the most emotional drug experience there is and I tried to control it and repress it rather than let it flow. Now im suffereing the consequences.


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## chris51 (Mar 21, 2005)

YES! YES! This the root of my DP. I was brought up not to express emotion. Good or bad. Everyone and everything was very monotone...very stoic, in my house. So built up emotions are not good.
in therapy, at first, I had a hard time identifying my emotions. I thought feeling sad was me feeling depressed. (how screwed up is that???)

Anyway, so what do you do about it?


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## theatreSpell (Jan 18, 2006)

chris51 do you still have dp/dr?

i think to get out of dp/dr one must try to feel something deeply moving, something important, to reconnect with yourself.
once you're out of the 'hell', then therapy might be good to avoid relapses. i found that distraction while good in dp was not so great right after getting out of it. once you're out of it you gotta pay due attention to yourself because you just went thru a lot. 
for me dp/dr alleviates as suddenly as it comes on, when i was younger it wasn't clear what did it, but now i get out of dp/dr as a result of "thought-feeling". it's a perception switch, and i'm training myself to think more of positve thought-feelings. one really surprising one that works for me is the thought that i might be wrong about my perceptions while in dp. i tell myself that, i have it written down so that i don't forget.

i think whatever helps you get out of dp would be very personal, it is called depersonalization after all. you have to look within to parts of yourself that you have abandoned. if it's too painfull to work through it on your own i'd say try therapy. you have to be brave to embrace the pain and to work with that pain not against it.


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