# Wake up and forget yourself



## jeanie82 (Nov 6, 2006)

I recovered from DP. I got it BAD about a year and a half ago. It was terrible for about 6 months straight. Then I started to gradually recover, so gradually that I didn't even realise it was happening. And here I am today, and I am, I would say, fully recovered. It is strange to say fully recovered because the memory of the experience is still with me and in that sense I am changed, but other than that I would say, no, I no longer suffer the symptoms of depersonalisation.

I wanted to post this in this section (but understand if it gets moved to the recovery section : ) ) because it is this section in particular where I spent months of my life, and this section in particular that really frustrates me now when I come back and read the posts.

I know some of you will jump down my throat and say how dare I come back once recovered and criticise your lifeline. Fair point. However I want to make one thing absolutely clear - I didn't start getting better until I left this site... so what kind of lifeline is that? It's not that it's a horrible site, I know it can be a fantastic support, but there is a tendency to feed in to each other's misery and pessimissm so often and also the site feeds everyone's obsession with their condition.

A quick glance around this forum and you see posts like "I know I will never recover." "There is no way out" or even worse, "The only way out is (insert particular recovery method here)".

BULLSH*T.

There are many ways out. It will be different for everyone. But obsession and pessimissm are not one of them.

That said, the fact of the matter is some people will suffer from depersonalisation for a very very long time, maybe their whole life. And the fact that I am freaking lucky to already be so much better is not lost on me. But I think the percentage of people that happens to is FAR FAR less that the percentage of people who just experience the symptoms for a certain period. And even if you happen to be one of those people who does have the disorder for life, isn't it better to start to move on, than to live a wasted life and dwell on your misfortune forever? For god sake, never lose sight of the fact that there are literally millions of people who have it worse than you.

You need to FORGET YOURSEVES. A lot of mental illness (not all mental illness, I admit) stems from or involves some form of self-obsession. God did I hate that concept when I was sick! I didn't want to be self-obsessed! But my brain had gone haywire and I didn't seem to have a choice - I had to constantly monitor my condition cause if I didn't, who was going to? What would happen? It felt like there was no choice.

There is a choice - recognise the power you still have over your mind. If you fill it with crap it will never have a chance to recover. And if you constantly think of nothing but yourself... you'll be completely miserable and boring and never recover.

You cannot snap your fingers and stop your thought patterns, I know that. I know how hard it is. But you need to start to make small changes, small positive changes, that will create an environment in your mind that will help you to recover, or if not recover, deal better with your illness and enjoy your life more.

It will be different for everyone. But some pointers you could consider?

* Remove fear from your life. If something is really frightening you, tackle that fear (slowly! baby steps!) DP is very similar to a constant state of both low and high level fear.

* Look after your physical health as much as possible. The mind and body are so connected, and so are, specifically, the stomach and the brain. Put good food in your body for a month and see the difference in how you feel. Exercise every day.

* Go on a week-long bush walk, or something like that! Challenge yourself and be outside. SWIM. It's pretty hard to swim in the ocean and still feel disconnected and numb. Re-connect with the world around you.

* Do something different every day. Repetition is terrible for DP- you feel so mechanical. Do things that will wake you up.

* Learn something new to prove to yourself that you can - you are capable. Your brain does work!

* Be social, find good people and surround yourself with them. At the same time, don't force yourself to be around people if you are feeling a bit tender or insecure. It's good to be able to recognise when you are not up to socialising so you don't find yourself at a party berrating yourself for not being able to think of anything to say to anyone cause your "so DP-ed". This is actually normal and happens to everyone. Just know your limits and don't give yourself a hard time.

* When you forget your own name, when your head won't work, when the brain fog sets in, don't stress about it. Shrug your shoulders and be aware that your brain is overloaded and will need some time to wind down and function properly. Try not to let the brain fog be a cause of even greater stress. I had such bad brain fog I was convinced I was brain damaged, and now I'm going back to Uni to study Medicine.

* Yes, some people recover suddenly, it has been known to happen. But most, I think, recover in a way that is very gradual. One day you will wake up and something will remind you of DP and you will go "wow, I haven't even thought of DP for a while. I used to think about it every waking second." It just gradually slips away.

I come back to this site now and I read your posts and I remember when the same thoughts were plaguing my mind. But if I could intervene into my own past somehow and tell myself one thing, it would be "try, just try, to forget about yourself for a little while". Cause once you can do that you are on the way to a better and healthier place.


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## Ludovico (Feb 9, 2007)

Thank you for your post. Glad to see another recovered person! There is a way out, no matter how hopeless it feels. I haven't experienced any symptoms of DP in quite some time now as well.


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## Snowy (Aug 10, 2004)

I didn't begin to get better till after I left this site either, so I understand what you are saying


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## hurricane12 (May 22, 2008)

people on this site do need to realize there are people who are 100% worse the we are
we take so much for granted in the us we have it so good look at all those people that are going through genocide and all those poor countries we have it so good compared to other people and there will always be people who have it better compared to us buts thats the way this sad world works


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## jimmyb (May 9, 2007)

I didn't get better till I left this site either! Working on my cars and socialising has really helped me because I have had things to focus on!

- Jimmy


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## DrPhil (May 20, 2008)

I could not agree more. Socializing is KEY! FORCE yourself socialize. I isolated me for a long time when I first got this and it didn't not get better until I got social again. Now I am better than ever


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## letsgetbetter (May 29, 2008)

This is GOOD advice! I come on here very occasionally now and my main reason is to help others to recover.


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## RonsonJohnson (Jul 28, 2008)

Awesome! my ideas arent just stupid. The points you have written out are the points i have been trying the past 6 months. I do know what you mean with the pesimissim...It does just drag you down and focuses on bad things. In a way this forum can be quite depressing but i try and lift people up even though i have DP myself. I have been eating healthy for the past 6 months and am taking out a gap year before i go to uni to sort this problem out and carry on with my life. I live right next to a lake, so im going to go out jogging tommorow morning and try do that everyday. BTW, what onset your DP was it recreational drugs? or prescribed drugs? and are you sure its DP and not DR?


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## jeanie82 (Nov 6, 2006)

ABSOLUTELY DP and not DR. I only had a tiny bout of DR right at the onset - DP on the other hand lasted for months and got much worse before getting better. The onset was recreational drugs, followed by a stressful period. Pretty much a culmination of a lot of changes, pushed over the edge by too many big party weekends in a row - resulting in a complete mental breakdown and utter dislocation from the world.

Another 6 months have gone past since I started this thread. Still feeling great. My anxiety threshold is probably a bit lower than it once was, but otherwise, I'm completely 'normal'. Absolutely killing it at my job, going to every music festival under the sun cause I love them so much, heading off overseas next year to travel by myself, when I come back going back to Uni... Nothing is stopping me!

xo


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## RonsonJohnson (Jul 28, 2008)

You've given me a lot of hope. I have been through EXACTLY the same situation as you. Started college, smoked a lot of weed, partied hard then half way through second-year decided to stop. Didnt get any sleep, had to get to college on train the next day nackered and forcing my brain to concentrate on work because i hadnt slept just made it more stressful. Im so glad im through with college now and get to focus on stuff that makes me happy. Hopefully ill come back to the forum with a post like yours  ill try get hold of you through myspace at some point and well have a chat.
Matt x


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## champion4life (Sep 7, 2008)

you are right my anxiety got better after i left sites like this one, I love your advice and it makes so much sense. I gotta admit i was one here right now because i was stressing so bad over my Dp right now, but after reading what you had to say i gotta admit i feel so calm. Thank You


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## cyberafrica (Feb 14, 2008)

Hi Jeanie

Once again, you have given me a lot of hope, thanks so much for your upbeat post. I am sure you got through with flying colours, due to being so positive, and absolutely true to yourself.

All the best with your travelling, and give me a shout if you ever going to visit South Africa.

CyberA


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## champion4life (Sep 7, 2008)

Awesome advice, this is the only post i come here to read now. Your advice helped me a ton. It all makes so much sense.


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