# recovered from DPD



## SaraBro (Feb 23, 2011)

Hello everybody!

My nickname used to be "Sara", but I changed it when I started feeling better. I've not been on this forum in a couple of weeks. I've been on my way to recovery, and I have wanted to forget as much about DPD as I can, in fear of slipping right back into it. But I've been thinking of doing a post here anyway, since I know how it feels to be stuck. You deserve to hear my recovery story, you deserve some hope! You can read my old posts and see how I felt before, I had all the typical symptoms of DPD. (except visual stuff)

I don't really know how it happened, but I guess gradually - I started to feel like myself. I don't have DPD-related anxiety anymore, but I still do alot of checking towards my condition, since I'm so fucking afraid of getting DPD again. Thoughts of space, time, infinity and eternity is still scary but it doesn't bother me anymore, it doesn't give me anxiety. I know I am real, and I don't care WHY. Sometimes I get the same feeling against my DPD as I used to think about reality, "DPD is to strange to have happened to me". When I'm outside, I don't think at all about DP-stuff, it's when I'm home those thoughts start going around in my head. I can still sometimes wander of in deep thoughts and get afraid I'll get an out-of-body-experience again. But in those moments I try to remind myself that I haven't had a panic attack in 6 months. Most of the time I think about "normal" stuff, and live as everyone else.

Today I was at an interview for an internship, and it felt awesome that I actually did it. I've been locked inside my home 8 months due to DPD, my life was set on pause. Today, I felt there and I wasn't nervous at all. (I took 20 mg propanolol which helped the nervousness). Last week I started a dance class, and that felt pretty awesome too. I've met a guy I really like, and when I'm with him I feel R E A L. I've done a revelation, which is that nobody really knows how it feels to be "me" - it feels differently depending on situation. You ARE yourself, all the time. I know it's hard to think like that right now, but you'll get there too. DPD is just a shift in emotion, nothing else.

So... I thought I might share some tips about how I did to feel better. I don't know if it was these things that worked, but maybe! It's no miracle cure. I've not been on any kind of medication, except propanolol which is a betablocker I had before I got DPD.

1. Socialize! Try to meet as much people as you can, even though it feel pointless. Eventually you'll start having fun again - it'll make you think less about DPD. Go to parties, go on vacation, meet your grandma, go out for walks, talk to strangers, go to university. I've been out clubbin alot, I know people say alcohol is not good for DPD, but for me it has been, since it almost took away the DPD. But be aware of the hangovers though, anxiety will increase

2. Do stuff! Clean, sort stuff, watch movies, read books, do the dishes, do the laundry, build, paint walls, do gardening, use your body!

3. Exercise! Before DPD I used to hate working out, but during DPD it was one of the places where I didn't feel weird. It also helped to release anger and stress.

4. Be creative. Do stuff that you wouldn't do if you weren't DPD'd. Write, paint or play music. It'll keep your mind preoccupied. My guitar skills has gotten so much better this year. I don't think I've ever been as creative as during DPD. It's also good for expressing bottled up emotions.

5. Talk about how you feel. To a shrink or your friends/family. I've been honest about my DPD and nobody has judged me, even though they didn't understand at all. You don't have to say you have DPD, you can say you're going through a rough time. Trust me, it's easier than trying to cover up your emotions, that will only give you more anxiety.

6. Think about your childhood, watch photos, try to remember how you felt as a child. Try to remember who you were before you got depersonanlized. Do stuff you know you normally would enjoy. Smell stuff, go outside and look at stuff in nature you know you like, watch favourite movies. Visit familiar places.

7. Except your fear and anxiety. Do stuff despite the fucked up feeling in your chest, do stuff even though you feel you're going crazy. NOTHING will happen. I realized after 8 months of DPD that I had been in constant fear for so long, but nothing weird has happened to me in the 23 years I've lived, why would it now? If you don't wanna take antideppressants or stronge medicin propranolol is good, it slows down your heartbeat and takes away the tight feeling in your chest - and it's not addictive.

8. Try to figure out why you feel like you do, and why you ended up in this condition. Think about how you felt the year you got DPD. Try to change behaviours that make people depersonalize, don't do anything you don't want to do. Learn to listen to yourself, both your body and mind. Realize the thruth about yourself, your friends and family and your role in your relationships. It'll make you stronger, even though it's hard to see the bad sides of your loved ones. Make your life about YOU, and no one else!

Peace out, and good luck from a crazy but happy woman:


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## rightwrong99 (Apr 17, 2011)

recovered said:


> Hello everybody!
> 
> My nickname used to be "Sara", but I changed it when I started feeling better. I've not been on this forum in a couple of weeks. I've been on my way to recovery, and I have wanted to forget as much about DPD as I can, in fear of slipping right back into it. But I've been thinking of doing a post here anyway, since I know how it feels to be stuck. You deserve to hear my recovery story, you deserve some hope! You can read my old posts and see how I felt before, I had all the typical symptoms of DPD. (except visual stuff)
> 
> ...


Congrats! I still have trouble feeling like my old self again but im getting there.


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## Deleted Account (Jul 26, 2010)

congrats! thanks for the advice


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## ginni (Oct 25, 2012)

THANKS FOR SHARING UR EXP


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## Lexy67 (Sep 23, 2017)

Thank you your story. You advice about being around ppl is hard to take. I don't like being around them
But I'm forcing myself out today. 
Time goes very slow but I will try


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