# Does the naturalness of life return after recovery?



## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

Hi friends!
I know there isn't many recovered people on here but I figured I'd ask anyways. Does life return to feeling natural/normal after you make a full recovery? I think I've made it through the absolute worse of my dpdr and I recovered once before 10 years ago from dp but I didn't have any of the existential nonsense. I just feel like existence still feels just so off and un-natural now. Ive heard people recover from the physical sensations of dpdr but not many recovery of those who suffered from the existential phobia that can be brought on by dpdr. I feel like I've thought, realized and experienced so many horrible things during this experience that it makes me question if life can just feel natural and right again. I miss feeling like a normal human living a normal life. 
Thanks in advance for any positive input. 

Also, does dpdr make you question if you've had it all your life and not noticed? I know it's a ridiculous thought but that's how I've been feeling lately. Ugh


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

courtneyk said:


> Hi friends!
> I know there isn't many recovered people on here but I figured I'd ask anyways. Does life return to feeling natural/normal after you make a full recovery? I think I've made it through the absolute worse of my dpdr and I recovered once before 10 years ago from dp but I didn't have any of the existential nonsense. I just feel like existence still feels just so off and un-natural now. Ive heard people recover from the physical sensations of dpdr but not many recovery of those who suffered from the existential phobia that can be brought on by dpdr. I feel like I've thought, realized and experienced so many horrible things during this experience that it makes me question if life can just feel natural and right again. I miss feeling like a normal human living a normal life.
> Thanks in advance for any positive input.
> 
> Also, does dpdr make you question if you've had it all your life and not noticed? I know it's a ridiculous thought but that's how I've been feeling lately. Ugh


Omg yes! When I try to think back this crap makes me feel like I had it all my life which I didn't! I also recovered from this 16 years ago and life does go back to normal. You won't even know how this crap felt unless it comes back and then it will have you question again things you already know. This thing is so stupid!!!!! I feel like some stuff are fading for me but god the stuff that are still lingering are the worse! That hyper aware to existence is terrible! And something is off for sure. Almost feels like I am walking around with a fog on me. So damn pathetic


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## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

Yes! The hyper awareness has been the absolute worst part of this whole thing. I don't know about you but I don't feel connected to my words when I talk either. I hate it. I also have this bizarre thought that since my dpdr that I was deluded about things before and if I go back to normal I'll be deluded again and for whatever reason that thought freaks me out and I think it's hindering recovery. This has been the most messed up thing to go through, especially since I didn't think about existential crap to begin with. I know it's sucks for you, but it is relieving that you feel the same. Makes me feel less crazy if others can relate haha


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## HopingCat36 (Jun 17, 2017)

courtneyk said:


> Yes! The hyper awareness has been the absolute worst part of this whole thing. I don't know about you but I don't feel connected to my words when I talk either. I hate it. I also have this bizarre thought that since my dpdr that I was deluded about things before and if I go back to normal I'll be deluded again and for whatever reason that thought freaks me out and I think it's hindering recovery. This has been the most messed up thing to go through, especially since I didn't think about existential crap to begin with. I know it's sucks for you, but it is relieving that you feel the same. Makes me feel less crazy if others can relate haha


ME TOO!!!! but that's the mind trying to trick us! I never even cared about existence crap neither of the works around me for that matter! Now I feel like a vegetable. Always obsessing over this crap. 24/7 for 6 months now. It's like all the disorders got together and creates this crap! I hope this medicine helps me because if not I'm gonna go back to crying and feeling hopeless


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## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

HopingCat36 said:


> ME TOO!!!! but that's the mind trying to trick us! I never even cared about existence crap neither of the works around me for that matter! Now I feel like a vegetable. Always obsessing over this crap. 24/7 for 6 months now. It's like all the disorders got together and creates this crap! I hope this medicine helps me because if not I'm gonna go back to crying and feeling hopeless


Ugh seriously! It's the worst. We both beat it once I bet we can do it again. 6 months for me too! Keep me updated on your medicine! I hope it works well for you!


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## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

Life is the sum of your experience to date. I'm 62 years old. At 17, I had powerful temporal lobe seizures that altered my perception of self and environment. I suffered depersonalization, and derealization. I began having frequent attacks that blinded me with an unexplained aura. I developed a head tremor. I had frequent spells of terror. I suffered horrible episodes of depression with severe insomnia and anxiety.

In my mid 50s, I found a patient's similar experience in a British neurological text. I researched epilepsy and identified the trauma that initiated my mental illness. I had ECT in 2013, and it was very helpful. I am empowered by the understanding of my life's struggles. I am proud to have served honorably in the armed forces. I completed a technical degree and had a rewarding career. My symptoms resolved or are now

significantly less than they once were. I don't get to start over, however. I still don't recognize my image in the mirror. That's no 17 year old kid looking back at me.


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## healing doesnt come easy (Aug 25, 2017)

Existential thoughts.....I've had them alot. It's been close to 3 years since my experience with dp/dr happened and I'm feeling almost fully recovered and I still get them. Life does feel normal though and i'm happy to say that. I only get those bad thoughts late at night lol.


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## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Omg me to i always worry that ive had dp all my life but i never noticed , i find myself analizing my life before this started , to see if i was in fact dp all along .
I'm at the same point as yous i feel something is not right still yet hard to fully explian .
I feel in my head like im to much in my head , very hard to explain this feeling .
In a way I feel like im floating and like every single day is the same like ground hog day. 
I think the longer you have this the harder it is to be sure you never felt tgis way pre dp .


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## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

healing doesnt come easy said:


> Existential thoughts.....I've had them alot. It's been close to 3 years since my experience with dp/dr happened and I'm feeling almost fully recovered and I still get them. Life does feel normal though and i'm happy to say that. I only get those bad thoughts late at night lol.


That's exactly when my thoughts are the worst. At night! I use to sleep great until dpdr ????


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## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

allison84 said:


> Omg me to i always worry that ive had dp all my life but i never noticed , i find myself analizing my life before this started , to see if i was in fact dp all along .
> I'm at the same point as yous i feel something is not right still yet hard to fully explian .
> I feel in my head like im to much in my head , very hard to explain this feeling .
> In a way I feel like im floating and like every single day is the same like ground hog day.
> I think the longer you have this the harder it is to be sure you never felt tgis way pre dp .


That's exactly how I feel too! Most of the time lately I just feel like all I am is a floating pair of eyeballs. It's annoying. I can function and live life fairly normally but I still hate the nagging feeling of something being wrong and off


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

healing doesnt come easy said:


> Existential thoughts.....I've had them alot. It's been close to 3 years since my experience with dp/dr happened and I'm feeling almost fully recovered and I still get them. Life does feel normal though and i'm happy to say that. I only get those bad thoughts late at night lol.


Did you just not previously post that your DP is GONE and you are fully recovered ????


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## Chicane (Oct 8, 2015)

Judging by everything I've read on here, it's a mixed bag. Some people seem to recover fully, while others continue to experience unusual thoughts, some residual anxiety, or feelings of emptiness/lack of inner monologue. It's hard to say what percentage of people get over this completely, because we don't have enough of a sample size to say for sure. Also, it's generally the case that those who recover move away from places like this site and go on with their new and improved lives, while those who have lingering symptoms continue to post - so the latter tend to be louder than the former. After all, once you've recovered and said "fantastic, I'm all better" there isn't a great deal more to say. Though to be fair, we do have some members that stick around to offer support once they're better, so kudos to them. In any case, good luck to you.


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## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

Chicane said:


> Judging by everything I've read on here, it's a mixed bag. Some people seem to recover fully, while others continue to experience unusual thoughts, some residual anxiety, or feelings of emptiness/lack of inner monologue. It's hard to say what percentage of people get over this completely, because we don't have enough of a sample size to say for sure. Also, it's generally the case that those who recover move away from places like this site and go on with their new and improved lives, while those who have lingering symptoms continue to post - so the latter tend to be louder than the former. After all, once you've recovered and said "fantastic, I'm all better" there isn't a great deal more to say. Though to be fair, we do have some members that stick around to offer support once they're better, so kudos to them. In any case, good luck to you.


You are definitely right. Thank you for your input!


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## healing doesnt come easy (Aug 25, 2017)

eddy1886 said:


> Did you just not previously post that your DP is GONE and you are fully recovered ????


I should clarify.... like i said im not the best with english x'D I am fully recovered.... I STILL HAVE EXISTENTIAL THOUGHTS LIKE WHEN I HAD DP/DR


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

I want to say yes... I recovered once before and you kind of just forget about it... I mean I never completely forgot about it but it was on the back burner and I was engaged with life again and feeling great. I'm 5
Months into my relapse and in hell every day but I hope and pray I'll get back to where I was.... I can't wait for the day I post a recovery story. And it's funny because the first time I recovered, I didn't post a story, I just had stopped coming on here, you just slowly re enter your life and stop looking back. And i hope this is what happens to hundreds of users on this site!! I want to believe we can all get better and that we won't be stuck like this, This time I will definitely post a recovery story.


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## courtneyk (Apr 20, 2017)

caseyb086 said:


> I want to say yes... I recovered once before and you kind of just forget about it... I mean I never completely forgot about it but it was on the back burner and I was engaged with life again and feeling great. I'm 5
> Months into my relapse and in hell every day but I hope and pray I'll get back to where I was.... I can't wait for the day I post a recovery story. And it's funny because the first time I recovered, I didn't post a story, I just had stopped coming on here, you just slowly re enter your life and stop looking back. And i hope this is what happens to hundreds of users on this site!! I want to believe we can all get better and that we won't be stuck like this, This time I will definitely post a recovery story.


I think if you've recovered once, you'll do it again! I am in the same boat as you though. I would really like to post a recovery story but at the same time I really would like to just move on and forget this chapter of my life but I'd still like to think I'd share my experience and help those like others helped me. I'll be waiting for your recovery story


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

courtneyk said:


> I think if you've recovered once, you'll do it again! I am in the same boat as you though. I would really like to post a recovery story but at the same time I really would like to just move on and forget this chapter of my life but I'd still like to think I'd share my experience and help those like others helped me. I'll be waiting for your recovery story


Yeah it just scares me that because I have relapsed that this will be like a ping pong ball the rest of my life- recover-relapse-recover-relapse... I definitely do not want that. I just want to recover and never look back ya know!! I haven't been able to work because of this and thank god my parents are supportive, emotionally and financially, but I wonder am I gonna be "mentally disabled" forever?? It sucks. It's like I have lost who I was completely


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

Maddykip said:


> My best friend recovered from DPDR twice, and the first time she was terrified it was going to come back. After she recovers the second time, she says she no longer fears it. She's been to hell and back, and just says "bring it on"
> I try and think of her when I'm having a hard time, and if it's any consolation, she said everything goes back to normal with recovery


Is your friend on any medication?


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

Maddykip said:


> No. It took her two years to get through it with no medication and no therapy, but she did it by just resuming life


Wow good for her!! She's so lucky! It seems like a mixed bag of people who recover with meds and without


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

Maddykip said:


> Yeah, it really is different for everybody. I know it's discouraging to hear that, we want a clear, concise solution but I guess we don't always get that ????


Yeah Im going the med route because I Haven't recovered naturally and I'm just suffering too much. I just want so badly to recover and get back to life, it's a fight every single day, I wouldn't wish this on anyone!!! Are you on any meds?


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

I've been on lexapro for about 3 months with no change. 2 weeks ago I started seroquel because I had seen so many recovery stories so I'm hoping it will help me. I don't expect a full 100 percent recover (I just don't think you can completely forget and be the exact same once this happens to you) but if I could get back to 75 percent functional and feeling good and normal like I did when I recovered the first time I would fucking jump for joy!!!


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

caseyb086 said:


> I want to say yes... I recovered once before and you kind of just forget about it... I mean I never completely forgot about it but it was on the back burner and I was engaged with life again and feeling great. I'm 5
> Months into my relapse and in hell every day but I hope and pray I'll get back to where I was.... I can't wait for the day I post a recovery story. And it's funny because the first time I recovered, I didn't post a story, I just had stopped coming on here, you just slowly re enter your life and stop looking back. And i hope this is what happens to hundreds of users on this site!! I want to believe we can all get better and that we won't be stuck like this, This time I will definitely post a recovery story.


 You will. I was 100% recovered when I relapsed and I've almost recovered completely again. It has taken longer this time though. This just looks like it's gonna be a lost year for me but by 2018 I should be 100%.


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## caseyb086 (Apr 7, 2017)

Maddykip said:


> I hope you find recovery with this combo! And if you don't, there are many many other drugs to try!


I hope so too!!! I just hate the trial and error of this ya know!! I'm so sick of feeling "crazy" and I just want to get back to my life!


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

courtneyk said:


> Hi friends!
> I know there isn't many recovered people on here but I figured I'd ask anyways. Does life return to feeling natural/normal after you make a full recovery? I think I've made it through the absolute worse of my dpdr and I recovered once before 10 years ago from dp but I didn't have any of the existential nonsense. I just feel like existence still feels just so off and un-natural now. Ive heard people recover from the physical sensations of dpdr but not many recovery of those who suffered from the existential phobia that can be brought on by dpdr. I feel like I've thought, realized and experienced so many horrible things during this experience that it makes me question if life can just feel natural and right again. I miss feeling like a normal human living a normal life.
> Thanks in advance for any positive input.
> 
> *Also, does dpdr make you question if you've had it all your life and not noticed? I know it's a ridiculous thought but that's how I've been feeling lately. Ugh*


 This is an interesting question and I want to give my input. It's easy to think this, but it's likely not the case. I know for me it wasn't. I know because I used to have no trouble with smoking weed and drinking alcohol. I was just another college student who liked getting blasted with my friends/roomayes on the weekends and I was perfectly fine. I took dabs and drank and never really experienced existential thoughts or feelings of detachment even though I was very "f***ed up" as millenials these days say. I was always more concerned about how others saw me as a person and "fitting in". In other words, I was normal.


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