# Something Is Wrong



## Guest (May 7, 2010)

I woke up a little while ago and I feel exactly the same that I did the day I came down with dp. I woke up that day and couldn't tell if I was awake or not. I felt like I was dreaming with my eyes open and have the exact same thing this morning. Right before I woke up, I was, in my sleep, trying desperately to wake up. I had concious thought and must have been sleeping with my eyes open because I could see the closet. I kept trying to move my hand to tell if I was awake but I couldn't see my hand moving so I knew I wasn't. I finally snapped myself "awake" but I still feel asleep. I'm not sure what to do.

I don't know why, almost 8 months later, this would suddenly happen. I was doing so well the past few days. My dr went away again and when I wake up, I can tell the difference between being awake and being asleep. It hasn't felt like this in a VERY long time.


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> I woke up a little while ago and I feel exactly the same that I did the day I came down with dp. I woke up that day and couldn't tell if I was awake or not. I felt like I was dreaming with my eyes open and have the exact same thing this morning. Right before I woke up, I was, in my sleep, trying desperately to wake up. I had concious thought and must have been sleeping with my eyes open because I could see the closet. I kept trying to move my hand to tell if I was awake but I couldn't see my hand moving so I knew I wasn't. I finally snapped myself "awake" but I still feel asleep. I'm not sure what to do.
> 
> I don't know why, almost 8 months later, this would suddenly happen. I was doing so well the past few days. My dr went away again and when I wake up, I can tell the difference between being awake and being asleep. It hasn't felt like this in a VERY long time.


it might be stress...try slowing down and relaxing a little, breathe in, and do some meditation b4 u go 2 bed, a warm bath also helps b4 bedtime.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> I woke up a little while ago and I feel exactly the same that I did the day I came down with dp. I woke up that day and couldn't tell if I was awake or not. I felt like I was dreaming with my eyes open and have the exact same thing this morning. Right before I woke up, I was, in my sleep, trying desperately to wake up. I had concious thought and must have been sleeping with my eyes open because I could see the closet. I kept trying to move my hand to tell if I was awake but I couldn't see my hand moving so I knew I wasn't. I finally snapped myself "awake" but I still feel asleep. I'm not sure what to do.
> 
> I don't know why, almost 8 months later, this would suddenly happen. I was doing so well the past few days. My dr went away again and when I wake up, I can tell the difference between being awake and being asleep. It hasn't felt like this in a VERY long time.


I really don't get this to be honest. Whenever people are feeling better for a few days, they end up feeling bad again after a while, I wonder if it's something that affects them emotionally. I keep having this myself, I could actually go 2 weeks without intense DP/DR once, and I thought I was done with it, then I got into some stressful situations and it came back. Then I got better again about 2 or 3 times but it always came back, but those times I didn't go trough any stressful situations, probably just argued about something small with someone but it wasn't like something that could get me that anxious.


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## Guest (May 7, 2010)

Its starting to lighten up a little bit. I hope and pray it goes away in a few hours.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> Its starting to lighten up a little bit. I hope and pray it goes away in a few hours.


Thats good Sarah. I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better. I sometimes wake up completely PARALYZED!!!!! Can't do anything but breath and look around. Then finally manage to focus hard enough to move my arm and I gain conhtrol. Sleep Paralysis. That is scary as crap.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Claymore said:


> Thats good Sarah. I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better. I sometimes wake up completely PARALYZED!!!!! Can't do anything but breath and look around. Then finally manage to focus hard enough to move my arm and I gain conhtrol. Sleep Paralysis. That is scary as crap.


I created a thread about that a while ago, but as far as I know that has nothing to do with DP/DR, I thought it did though. And yes it is scary, but not as scary as DP/DR I have to say (in my oppinion).


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

ThisCantBeHappening said:


> I created a thread about that a while ago, but as far as I know that has nothing to do with DP/DR, I thought it did though. And yes it is scary, but not as scary as DP/DR I have to say (in my oppinion).


No it isn't as scary at all. But I never had that until DP/DR.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Claymore said:


> No it isn't as scary at all. But I never had that until DP/DR.


Well, I had it like 2/3 times before I got DP, but I thought it was related to it because it's weird (just as DP/DR are).


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

ThisCantBeHappening said:


> Well, I had it like 2/3 times before I got DP, but I thought it was related to it because it's weird (just as DP/DR are).


Yeah I feel ya. Sarah, is it getting better?


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## Guest (May 7, 2010)

Claymore said:


> Yeah I feel ya. Sarah, is it getting better?


Um ok, so this is freaking weird. About oh 11, I was still feeling like I was asleep but it was starting to pass so I made myself go take a bath. Got in the bath and suddenly realized that my sense of self was back. For the first time, I was back in my own skin and the person I was before dp. I actually was in my body instead of seeing it and not feeling attached to it. Reality was just all around me. I started thinking about yesterday and it seemed like it was in a dream and a long time ago. Then I washed my face and when I opened my eyes dp slipped back in. My vision went dull again. I've been watching stuff on the net just to distract myself and when I started typing this, the reality was back again and now it has gone. It is gone except my sense of self is still there and that is something that I have not had the entire time I've had dp. There is something really messed up happening in my brain. No, it doesn't appear to be having bad effects other than making me feel very strange but it just all seems really weird to me. I mean, I had the EXACT same thing happen to me the morning I got dp. I was having a dream where I was asleep in a dream but aware that I was asleep and that I was "trapped" asleep and couldn't get awake. That is exactly what happened to me this morning. Then all of a sudden, my dp changed and reality comes back in waves? It all has to be tied together.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> Um ok, so this is freaking weird. About oh 11, I was still feeling like I was asleep but it was starting to pass so I made myself go take a bath. Got in the bath and suddenly realized that my sense of self was back. For the first time, I was back in my own skin and the person I was before dp. I actually was in my body instead of seeing it and not feeling attached to it. Reality was just all around me. I started thinking about yesterday and it seemed like it was in a dream and a long time ago. Then I washed my face and when I opened my eyes dp slipped back in. My vision went dull again. I've been watching stuff on the net just to distract myself and when I started typing this, the reality was back again and now it has gone. It is gone except my sense of self is still there and that is something that I have not had the entire time I've had dp. There is something really messed up happening in my brain. No, it doesn't appear to be having bad effects other than making me feel very strange but it just all seems really weird to me. I mean, I had the EXACT same thing happen to me the morning I got dp. I was having a dream where I was asleep in a dream but aware that I was asleep and that I was "trapped" asleep and couldn't get awake. That is exactly what happened to me this morning. Then all of a sudden, my dp changed and reality comes back in waves? It all has to be tied together.


Wow







, Thats baffling. I'm not sure how to respond to that. Do you like it?


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

The one thing that strikes me, is that it does seem like you think a LOT about how you are feeling all the time. Maybe try not to individualise symptoms so much? If possible?


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## Guest (May 8, 2010)

guest1234 said:


> The one thing that strikes me, is that it does seem like you think a LOT about how you are feeling all the time. Maybe try not to individualise symptoms so much? If possible?


This is completely not true. 99 percent of the time I ignore how I am feeling and just live life. But when you wake up with dp as bad as the first day that you got it, it is impossible to NOT think about how you are feeling. I battled for control all day yesterday. I didn't have one panic attack the entire day. I was just trying to figure out why I had the episode I did.


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## Guest (May 8, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> This is completely not true. 99 percent of the time I ignore how I am feeling and just live life. But when you wake up with dp as bad as the first day that you got it, it is impossible to NOT think about how you are feeling. I battled for control all day yesterday. I didn't have one panic attack the entire day. I was just trying to figure out why I had the episode I did.


You are way to busy to be thinking about DP, right?


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## Guest (May 9, 2010)

ThoughtOnFire said:


> You are way to busy to be thinking about DP, right?


Most of the time, yes.


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## Tommygunz (Sep 7, 2009)

good old perceptual channel surfing. i had quite a bit of that. i learned to ignore it pretty easily after a while. i would get a sudden and powerful change in my perception and sense of self. at first it baffled me because i couldn't figure out what spurred it on. it continued to happen throughout my recovery so i figured it was best to disempower and ignore it. at first it was hard to ignore obviously, but after a while, it would happen, i would notice it slightly and then move on to whatever else was going on around me. it happened the other day actually, it was spurred by me removing my sunglasses though. still it was strange to feel a perceptual shift like that after beating DP/DR. going from wearing sunglasses to not wearing them caused my whole world inside and out to shift for a split second, the only reason it lasted for a split second you might ask. because a while back i started teaching myself to disempower and ignore such things. while it is interesting and perplexing that these things happen, and with such power sometimes, the best thing for us it to do is disempower, discredit and ignore that they happen at all. i'm no stranger to the line, "easier said than done", but i am a firm believer in the idea that practice makes perfect.

P.S. - this might sound crazy, but i just heard someone sniffle in my bathroom and i'm home alone right now. there is no one in my bathroom. i knew this apartment was haunted.


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## Guest (May 9, 2010)

.


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## guest1234 (Mar 23, 2010)

tinyfairypeople said:


> This is completely not true. 99 percent of the time I ignore how I am feeling and just live life. But when you wake up with dp as bad as the first day that you got it, it is impossible to NOT think about how you are feeling. I battled for control all day yesterday. I didn't have one panic attack the entire day. I was just trying to figure out why I had the episode I did.


Oh right, it's just that you post very detailed descriptions of episodes you have quite a lot - but then again that only takes a couple of minutes out the day I guess. This is the trouble with the internet, you only see a very small part of the picture most of the time.

I would say don't bother trying to figure it out. I reckon that that type of control seeking is what kept me ill for so long to be honest, I am quite a control freak and it was only letting go and not trying to figure it all out or control it that actually did any good in the end. Big ups on the not having a panic attack, I would take the positive of that and ignore the rest of it. Recovery is by no means a straight line and there are ups and downs just like in all parts of life.

Hope you are feeling better now anyway


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## Guest (May 10, 2010)

Tommygunz said:


> good old perceptual channel surfing. i had quite a bit of that. i learned to ignore it pretty easily after a while. i would get a sudden and powerful change in my perception and sense of self. at first it baffled me because i couldn't figure out what spurred it on. it continued to happen throughout my recovery so i figured it was best to disempower and ignore it. at first it was hard to ignore obviously, but after a while, it would happen, i would notice it slightly and then move on to whatever else was going on around me. it happened the other day actually, it was spurred by me removing my sunglasses though. still it was strange to feel a perceptual shift like that after beating DP/DR. going from wearing sunglasses to not wearing them caused my whole world inside and out to shift for a split second, the only reason it lasted for a split second you might ask. because a while back i started teaching myself to disempower and ignore such things. while it is interesting and perplexing that these things happen, and with such power sometimes, the best thing for us it to do is disempower, discredit and ignore that they happen at all. i'm no stranger to the line, "easier said than done", but i am a firm believer in the idea that practice makes perfect.
> 
> P.S. - this might sound crazy, but i just heard someone sniffle in my bathroom and i'm home alone right now. there is no one in my bathroom. i knew this apartment was haunted.


Thank You Tommy. It is reassuring to know that what I am going through is a normal part of recovery.


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## sirreal (Mar 20, 2010)

I can't even begin to relate to people when they say they have times when they do not feel DP at all. I've had DP/DR every waking moment for the last 5 and half years without a moment of mental clarity. There are times when it is not as bad, but it certainly has never left for a second.


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## Guest (May 10, 2010)

sirreal said:


> I can't even begin to relate to people when they say they have times when they do not feel DP at all. I've had DP/DR every waking moment for the last 5 and half years without a moment of mental clarity. There are times when it is not as bad, but it certainly has never left for a second.


I've had moments of reconnect with reality, where suddenly reality is there and I am in it BUT in those moments I've still had the brain fog and this intense buzzing/dizzy feeling in my brain.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

sirreal said:


> I can't even begin to relate to people when they say they have times when they do not feel DP at all. I've had DP/DR every waking moment for the last 5 and half years without a moment of mental clarity. There are times when it is not as bad, but it certainly has never left for a second.


Same here. It did alllllmossst go away one time but the freaking A-Hole in me made sure that didn't happen.Uuuuuhhhhh







. How are you today Sarah?.


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## Guest (May 10, 2010)

Claymore said:


> Same here. It did alllllmossst go away one time but the freaking A-Hole in me made sure that didn't happen.Uuuuuhhhhh
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Not great to be honest. I had the rough day then a pretty good day the next day followed by a horrible day yesterday and today isn't so hot either. Just doing everything I can to relax. I have come to realize that behind every "bad episode" there is some significant emotional issue tied to it. I'm going through a lot in my personal life and I assume that is what is contributing to the severity of my dp.


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## Claymore (Jun 13, 2009)

tinyfairypeople said:


> Not great to be honest. I had the rough day then a pretty good day the next day followed by a horrible day yesterday and today isn't so hot either. Just doing everything I can to relax. I have come to realize that behind every "bad episode" there is some significant emotional issue tied to it. I'm going through a lot in my personal life and I assume that is what is contributing to the severity of my dp.


Yeah I think that has a lot to do with it. We feel pretty much the same for me too. Just trying to relax. Its bad enough today that i'm prolly going back to bed after these hot wings get done. Just put on a movie and knock myself back out. Don't know about you but i'm really getting sick of this!!!.







One minute I think things could turn around and the next i'm so DP'd i'm stumbling around in my house and running into stuff.


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