# Whats your worst fear in DP/DR?



## yoloking123 (Jul 6, 2016)

Mine is personally the anxiety and stress killing me because its so bad. We people truly know what true pain is. Im starting to have bad dreams and the feeling of unreality fuck it. I really do hate it. What exactly is the brain trying to accomplish by doing this to us?


----------



## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

I used to think there was an urgent need for me on the other side. I was being pressured to end my life prematurely out of necessity.

It started to make sense, which was scary.


----------



## Cosmic.loser (Jan 8, 2018)

Slopism.. will always beat every fear ever. Don't look it up if you havent heard. That was definitely my biggest fear.


----------



## yoloking123 (Jul 6, 2016)

Cosmic.loser said:


> Slopism.. will always beat every fear ever. Don't look it up if you havent heard. That was definitely my biggest fear.


I will take your word and definitely not look it up despite how curious i am rn but i better not.


----------



## Sharon22 (Jan 10, 2018)

My biggest fear is that I'll never get better, that I will be one of them 20 year cases, sometimes reality comes back & then goes again, but one thing I have learned is that depersonalization is a fucking tease, it will seem you're getting better then bamn you're in hell again.


----------



## yoloking123 (Jul 6, 2016)

Sharon22 said:


> My biggest fear is that I'll never get better, that I will be one of them 20 year cases, sometimes reality comes back & then goes again, but one thing I have learned is that depersonalization is a fucking tease, it will seem you're getting better then bamn you're in hell again.


Thinking like that is terrible if i should say so myself


----------



## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

my fears used to be so unbelieable big, i used to think i would probably die of just fear itself.

These days i'm better off, but still very DP'ed. I'm jsut bored, tired and sick of it all now. I fear nothing. I'm genuinly curios about hell and i want to check it out, because humanity/existence is so fucking weird and i'd like to see all of its sides to understand more and maybe get some "closure" when it comes to life itself, even tho i know that wont happen.


----------



## Michaeln99 (Feb 18, 2018)

Not knowing where my life will head


----------



## Musicgirl1314 (Jan 16, 2018)

Either solipsism or slipping into psychosis


----------



## yoloking123 (Jul 6, 2016)

Michaeln99 said:


> Not knowing where my life will head


Everybody doesnt know where their life will lead from birth or even now and we never will until we experience it.


----------



## yoloking123 (Jul 6, 2016)

Musicgirl1314 said:


> Either solipsism or slipping into psychosis


Thats why google is our enemy and always will be.


----------



## willbarwa (Aug 26, 2017)

At one time, my fear of this shift in perception was so bad, I didn't eat for several days. In the beginning I didn't understand it much and the fear of the unknown is what really got me.

I would lay awake in bed thinking I was trapped in some purgatory -- a few times I thought I was in hell but realized I wasn't.

Truly, the worse fear I had was that demons had gotten a hold of me and that any minute or any hour, they would show themselves, blocking me from the exit and taking me down to the pit.

I guess DP amplifies whatever fear you may have or whatever belief-system you may have. And this is also what saved me in the long run.

Being a very existential person, loving, humorous, kind and affectionate individual I kknew, I knew deep down inside that DP was just some crazy anxiety.

I have long forgotten the arduous intolerable days, weeks and months that passed me by and left me somewhat empty, confused and in a daze.

I couldn't believe it. I was in shock and yet in awe as to how DP could change your life so much and make you feel as if life before it, was just a dream.

But it isnt. I know that now. I'm remembering. DP inst just anxiety, I think DP is also a result of neglected memories and trauma and most importantly our own self-neglect to our emotions.

The person I was before DP is different from the person now. I still have something in common with my old-self but a lot of the DP nightmares I had are distant, an echo...they are slowly fading and I can't even remember how it started.

I'm still DP but I have gained unparalleled control over it. The mind is as flexible as you want it to be.

I got rid of most of my anxiety triggers, I changed the way I eat, think and socialize with people.

I started accepting more things about me and actually get to understan other ppl.

This, among other things, has connected me back almost 90%.

I still get anxious over some things but I have been working at changing my thought pattern, and its working.

I exercise and get proper amount of sleep.

I just came back from the gym, I"m exhausted, sore but feel relaxed.

The brain needs time to relax too and not have to worry about your thoughtd all the time.


----------



## mar (May 26, 2017)

Existence itself + slipping into psychosis


----------



## Michaeln99 (Feb 18, 2018)

I'm really scared I might have dissociative identity disorder, all of the people and doctors i talked to said i dont and its really rare, but i keep thinking i do i cant get it out of my head


----------



## ElectricalDirt (Mar 3, 2018)

Michaeln99 said:


> I'm really scared I might have dissociative identity disorder, all of the people and doctors i talked to said i dont and its really rare, but i keep thinking i do i cant get it out of my head


Really sounds like you do have.. OCD! haha.


----------



## Michaeln99 (Feb 18, 2018)

See like, I feel like i dont even remember writing this here because ive been literally worrying about it so much. I know with DID you basically have other characters but i do feel like my personality changes. Sometimes im worrying, other times i feel better, ive been really into spirituality and spiritual awakening stuff but right now at this second when i think about that stuff it scares me but i know i still like that stuff but it feels like my mood keeps changing, when im actually fine i dont even remember how it feels to be normal or if i ever was normal i know sometimes i have like irratability but when im anxious i just become so scared like im not me when im normal. I was taking a nap yesterday and i felt like i was twitching and i looked at my phone and i woke up from it and realized my phone was actually in a different spot so like i had sleep paralysis or something but i got up and felt really confused everything around me felt unfamiliar yet i knew where i was. I could have sworn i had a dream last night where i wasnt me and i was worrying about that because it wasnt me in the dream and it was really messed up. my memory is also messed up, it feels like im on autopilot and i really dont know who i am or what im saying like ive been living a lie. all day today im just researching DID even though ive been doing that for days. I just went to my kitchen right now and saw the food i was eating this morning and its scaring me because i forgot that i ate that stuff but now i know i did this morning but it does not feel like it was this morning it feels like a long time ago like my time perception is fucked up.


----------



## mkeshish (Nov 26, 2011)

Pondererer said:


> my fears used to be so unbelieable big, i used to think i would probably die of just fear itself.
> 
> These days i'm better off, but still very DP'ed. I'm jsut bored, tired and sick of it all now. I fear nothing. I'm genuinly curios about hell and i want to check it out, because humanity/existence is so fucking weird and i'd like to see all of its sides to understand more and maybe get some "closure" when it comes to life itself, even tho i know that wont happen.


Totally get this one. After awhile the fear turns to frustration and then just a nuisance. Lol I still prefer that to fear though.


----------



## Pondererer (May 18, 2016)

mkeshish said:


> Totally get this one. After awhile the fear turns to frustration and then just a nuisance. Lol I still prefer that to fear though.


really? i'm pretty chilled out in this state. I mean yes i dont feel anything and everything is stupid, but that fear goddamn..it's just the worst!


----------



## mkeshish (Nov 26, 2011)

Yes I’ve definitely gotten to that place. Unfortunately, right now I’m back in the fear place, set off by a bad panic attack. Hopefully that will dissipate soon!


----------



## bigpwn (Dec 14, 2017)

Existentialism used to worry me a lot but I can honestly say right now I don't even care about reality and stuff. What worries me the most is the fear of having/developing a mental illness like schizophrenia/bipolar. I've had this fear since the second week of DPDR 6 months ago and I still have it. It doesn't help that lately I have convinced myself that I am bipolar and the mental health faculties in my country are absolutely terrible so I don't even want to go to a psychiatrist. If I have an uncontrollable mental illness I am fucked for life, and might not live to see my thirties.


----------



## nocturnalman (Nov 15, 2017)

A question to everyone in this thread :

You fear slipping into psychosis ,so you acknowledge that psychosis exists ,at the same time you are scared of solipsism (i hate it too).

So we believe psychosis exists and at the same time we might believe the external world does not exist.Psychosis ,they(the other external humans) say is an illness somewhere in the brain ,and the brain is in the body ,the body is external ,people who diagnose psychosis are external.
So ,we fear something that is external and at the same time we are scared of the external not existing.
Did you get my point ? If solipsism was true ,we would have no fear of things that are external (psychosis ,a disorder in the brain which is in an external body)


----------



## nocturnalman (Nov 15, 2017)

Although solipsism is bullshit ,you can use it for your own benefit.
Say to yourself ,if the external does not exist why should I believe in something that scares me.
Play tricks on your mind the same way it does play tricks on you.


----------



## bigpwn (Dec 14, 2017)

Solipsism can't be proven or disproven, so it is idiotic to think about. But then again, anxiety itself is illogical so I can't blame people for getting obsessed with ideas like solipsism


----------



## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

I'm completely non-functizonal at the moment, so I guess my biggest fear is that my parents will die before I get this figured out and I end up institutionalized for my remaining days.


----------



## Michaeln99 (Feb 18, 2018)

Check out my video: this could cure us all

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsVrFJYhohBTPtpoDCSeVyu3kAb5q-B-E


----------

