# Drunk Stories



## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Someone started a thread like this on another site and I thought it would be interesting to start one here.... please post I don't want to feel like the only dumbass!

I was drinking one night with some friends. They dropped me off at my house but instead of going in I kept walking down the street and curled up next to a fire hydrant with the bottle of vodka still in my arms.

They pulled up next to me and told me to go home. Then realizing I still had the vodka, one of the guys got out of the car and tried to take it from me. I got really mad and punched him in the face. So he then poured the rest of the vodka on my head. I started screaming and crying. They drove off and I went banging on a neighbor's door.

I told them someone poured vodka on my head... they called the cops. The cops came and offered me a ride home. I got in the car and they asked for directions to my house. I told them go straight, and then, stop it's right here. I was only two houses down.


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## enngirl5 (Aug 10, 2004)

I don't think you'll be the only one to post with this group!

Me, my best friend and a guy friend of ours got drunk and went down the street from her house to go swimming in the resevoir/lake. The guy friend was swimming in his boxers. He was steadily getting drunker and drunker and eventually crawled up on the pier to pass out. This was a public pier for the neighborhood so we couldn't exactly leave him there. So my friend and I tried to get his clothes back on him with him laying there. As we're trying to pull his pants up he's moaning, "It hurts, it hurts!" We struggle with him, but he's all balled up so we can't get his pants completely on.

We're getting sleepy at this point so we eventually just give up and leave his pants around his knees. We get in the car, drive back to her house, get his car, bring it back to the pier, drive our car home and go to sleep. With him passed out on the pier with his pants down.

At about 7 am the cops show up at our house, our guy friend said to bring him there. And the people's house right on the waterfront are these grumpy old people that we have had problems with for years. And all we can think of is them waking up in the morning looking out the window at the beautiful day and seeing "C" on the pier passed out with his pants around his ankles. PS- the liquor of choice that night was Tequila.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

:lol: No, I am sure you are not alone. I have many, typically pathetic stories of drunken behaviour.

One particular one sticks in my mind however. I went to a bar, met a girl, assumed (after some heavy, lets say, petting) arrogantly that I would be going back to her place, so I forgot about the last train. How wrong I was. I slept in a wheely bin which wasn't big enough to fit my vast bulk , fell asleep, and woke up with two inches of snow on my head.


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## falling_free (Nov 3, 2004)

My most recent drunken story of worth was when me and my friends went to a playground near the town we had just been drinking in, and were swingingin on the swings , messing about on the equipment, the usual stupid stuff, then suddenly I was piled on by about 3 of them who then proceeded to rip off my trousers , and then my pants and shoes leaving me half bollock naked  !! And then our lift for the night came to pick us up, I though I was well and trully f u cked and they were going to leave me there in a town about 2 miles or so from where I live, but luckily I was able to get a lift back after a long search for all my clothes which had been thrown about. Im so glad they took some kind of pity and let me find all my stuff, cos the prospect of walking back home half naked wasn't very apppealing :shock: !


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## Revelation_old (Aug 9, 2004)

About a year ago my brother and I nearly finished a 60oz of dark rum.
We have a tradition of getting hammered on my Birthday and Christmas Eve.
We play XBOX (both in our 20's!) and just hang out. We usually just go to bed but not that night.

[4AM]

I felt like Chicken Wings for some reason and asked him if he wanted to go get some at Sobeys (24/7 Grocery store).

[Note]

He agreed to go if I bought him chips. No problem. Before we left we stole some of Sarah's coolers so we could drink on the way. It took us about 45 minutes to walk to a store two blocks away. We hadn't finished the coolers yet (awful stuff) so we hid them behind the plants for sale outside of the store.

[HAMMERED]

We enter Sobeys. I went right for the chicken wings. My brother disappeared. I was just getting my wings when I heard someone yelling. "It's okay guys! Chilli is here and the floor is clear!". My brother. Drunk as hell. Acting like Gilbert Grape from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape". ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108550/ )
He hijacked the mechanical floor cleaner/polisher and was going up and down the rows cleaning! I didn't know what to do but laugh. I was hysterical when paying for my wings (forgetting his chips). I couldn't do anything but get out of the store leaving Gilbert err my brother there.

Eventually he came out. We spent 20 minutes finding our hidden coolers and walked home (1hr).

The next thing I remember is waking up on my parents hardwood floor near the kitchen.


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## flowingly (Aug 28, 2005)

well, since we're sharing...

my husband and i were camping one weekend and we stayed up as we usually do while camping and drank. he had an exhausting week at work, so he went to bed "early" at like 2am. i remember telling him "oh don't worry, i won't drink much more. i'll come in the tent soon."

what really happened that night will forever be a mystery. however what we do know is what we've gathered from the evidence the next morning.

i burned almost everything in the fire. one of our chairs was in the fire, with just the metal poking out, reminents of our flashlight, all our liquor bottles, hand sanitizer....just about everything that was out, haha.

my husband said when i did come inside that i brought in a huge pile of foliage inside with me. he said that he tried to throw them out, but i went went out and tried to save them and brought them back inside...


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## jc (Aug 10, 2004)

i never get in trouble when i drink i just feel really good at the time and shit the next day


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## Milan (May 29, 2005)

I was in the country (~9hrs west of Sydney) doing radio surveys for work. That afternoon I booked into a motel in a small town close to were we where conducting the radio surveys. Long story short, that Thursday morning at about 2am I found myself absolutely pissed, sharing the motel hot tub with three other transsexuals....and no I didn't dream this - it actually happened.

The motel we booked into was also booked by Carlotta (well known Australian transsexual) and her dancing corp. They were doing a 'female impersonator' tour of the country towns. They were pretty much mimicking the idea behind the movie Priscilla Queen of the Desert that was popular at that time. We met a couple of the girls that afternoon and then met up with the whole group that evening at the towns local watering hole. It was hilarious watching the local farm boys chatting up the girls. Some were really trying hard to get into their pants, especially one rugged bloke who was about 6'4" who promised that he would give one of the trannies the best blow job she/he/it ever had :shock:. We partied all night, drinking waaaaay too much whilst the girls were popping E's, doing their sexy dancing and teasing the country boys. They thought I was gay because my work colleague kept touching my arse and feeling my chest...I think he got a little toooo carried away that evening. After the festivities their roady drove us back to the motel and then we jumped into the tub with some of the girls to relax a little.

Driving into that town that afternoon I never would have imagined I was going to spend the night getting trashed with a bunch of transsexuals....it was really bizarre.

On a more serious note I learnt a lot about the mental anguish these girls endured. I felt sorry for them. Imagine growing up with a mind that was wired as a women in a body of a man. Thinking about it now I bet there are a fair few transsexuals out there with DP because of this mind body mismatch.


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## Martinelv (Aug 10, 2004)

Whilst in New York, I stayed on a place of E17 street. Very bohemian it was. So bohemian in fact, that I was the only straight man there.

I got smashed one night, got taken to a club by some other residents of the hotel, and after propping up the bar for three hours realised that I was seeing touched up by a six foot black trasvestite, without even realising it.

I left.


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## Epiphany (Apr 28, 2006)

Hahaha...yep, good to know I'm not alone.

My friends wedding...I'm head bridesmaid...got very sloshed on cheap cask wine (no idea how many casks I guzzled by myself).

I remember falling into the side of the marquee (luckily I slid down the side of it rather than through). 
I remember falling off one chair twice and somehow breaking another. 
I remember falling heavily onto a stack of bricks and it not hurting a bit.

I don't remember throwing up in the garden and over myself. 
I don't remember my boyfriend (now husband) piling me into a taxi. 
I don't remember stopping at an ATM to get some money out. 
I don't remember my boyfriend telling me I was giving him too many numbers for my card. 
I don't remember being so adamant I was correct and "of course it's the right number...I ought to know seeing as it's my card". 
I don't remember the ATM eating my card or us having to go back in the taxi to my friends house to borrow some money to pay the taxi. 
I also don't remember getting home and my boyfriend stripping me and making me sit in the bath or refusing to get dressed, or continually making a running dive under the sheet every time my boyfriend attempted to lay it on the floor (he was worried about me spewing in his bed).

I do however remember very vividly waking up sometime after lunch the next day and being unable to move at all and making my boyfriend go buy me a bacon deluxe burger from Hungry Jacks and being unable to have it in the same room with me until he had cut it into quarters. He had to bring each quarter in to me one by one. It was the only way I could keep from yakking (I'm not normally such high maintenance).
I do remember having to go back to my friends house to repay the money and having her notice the extensive bruises on both my arms (from my inability to remain on my feet). She phoned me later concerned that my boyfriend was bashing me. Good thing I didn't show her the ones on my back!

I have lots of crazy friends so plenty of drunken stories. Since I've been pregnant I haven't been drinking at all and I really don't miss the hangovers.


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