# Constantly angry..



## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Ever since I was a teenager I was angry. I was miserable and irritable and negative about everything. Now with dissociation it's kicked up 5 gears or so.

I carry a constant energy of negativity around with me in my body. I am always angry, and it's been going on for so long that I often _'forget'_ that I have this anger inside of me. Does anyone else get this?

I really need someone to help me on this because it's confusing me completely.

For example, perhaps I will be writing in my journal and my muscles start to get tight as I squeeze them because I can feel so much anger. I can't shout though because the neighbours might hear me and think I've gone insane. So I keep it all in or hit my pillows but it never get's released. Next thing I know I'm upstairs with my flatmate watching a film and my mind basically blocks out what just happened. I completely forget that 10 minutes previously I was hitting pillows and imagining hurting people...

_*What the FUCK is going on?*_


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## falcontk (Aug 22, 2012)

I know what you mean; except, I don't get angry, I feel intense dread. I try to chalk it up to adrenaline, but sometimes, it feels much more than that. And, like yourself, I, too, have memory lapses. I've just gotten so used to mine that I've stopped giving any thought to them. Just trying to breathe for one more day.


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2012)

Maybe it's a bit like free-floating anxiety... I'm usually stuck in flight, maybe you're stuck in fight.

Try spending some time with yourself, looking into your issues, writing your thoughts and feelings down, trying to figure out why. There's usually something deeply suppressed lurking underneath these feelings you display on the surface.


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## Bjorn (Nov 8, 2012)

Ive got anger issues mainly due to regret....also smoking weed has effected me very deeply with agitation and the only thing that would take that away was smoking weed was such a vicious circle..

Alot of my friends have anger issues due to there past or up bringing... and all use weed' I don't know one person that doesn't use drugs other than my family..
and its messing people up in the long run..

it sounds like in your confusion your getting very angry and trying to think of away out.... I do this also but get nowhere. i there with you


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Susto said:


> Maybe it's a bit like free-floating anxiety... I'm usually stuck in flight, maybe you're stuck in fight.
> 
> Try spending some time with yourself, looking into your issues, writing your thoughts and feelings down, trying to figure out why. There's usually something deeply suppressed lurking underneath these feelings you display on the surface.


Absolutely. Fight or flight is definitely in effect but I can't seem to stop it. Thanks for your insight.


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## Midnight (Jul 16, 2011)

Susto said:


> Hmm, do you think that maybe your parents were not much present, or neglectful? so u might learned to keep things for yourself cause u were afraid to tell your parents?


Nah, they were present. My Mum looked after me while my Dad worked and I had a healthy childhood. Dunno what else to say about it really

Also I was thinking - can anyone else not find a cause for their depression anymore? I feel like 'I' don't exist... so the depression is sort of floating because it's not affecting a 'person' anymore..


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