# In Tokyo, all alone.



## amphibians (Feb 10, 2008)

_I'm all alone now.
I'm so far away from my home now.
I'm so shy now._

*Last night*, when it was so dark outside, I realized for the first time, since being here for 3 days already, that I probably was the most loneliest girl in the whole world. Loneliness feeds the panic attacks. I tried so hard to survive that night. And I made it. At least this time. But I'm afraid of how it will be tonight.
_I'm so sorry mother... father... brother... I'm so sorry, but yesterday... I... thought of leaving this world again. I'm so sorry, I feel so egoistic. Please don't hate me... You know I'm only living because of you... my family... You are the only reason why I'm not leaving._

Now... I really need to meet someone. Now. I just need a friend. I'm nice. I can be really funny, too! I'm really gentle, and I always listen to what people have to say. Sorry, I don't want to brag at all, but... the only negative thing about me is that I'm so shy... 
I'm sorry everyone, if anyone don't like me now... Because of what I just have said... Maybe people think I'm stupid, and credulous. And annoying. Ugly. Silly. Crazy. Fat. 
I'm sorry, but I'm so alone!

/Bea


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## JessMess (Jan 8, 2009)

I'm always here. I've felt really low, and it hurts way too much, you feel like you just can't handle it. I like to talk.


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## amphibians (Feb 10, 2008)

Aw... Thank you JessMess! 
Do you have MSN? Or anything? I don't have AIM...


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## DownTheRabbitHole (May 30, 2009)

if i was in tokyo , id totally meet up with ya, you seem like a nice person, and not at all 'stupid, and credulous. And annoying. Ugly. Silly. Crazy. Fat. '
only a nice person would portray themselves in the way you have here.

hope you meet someone soon, the next person you meet, could sweep you off your feet, so keep your eyes open, and dont be afraid to let people in, just be slightly cautious though and do whatever feels right to you.


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## amphibians (Feb 10, 2008)

Oh... Thank you NumbNeo...!

Don't worry, I'm always very careful. Even though Japan has an incredibly low criminality, you always have to be on your guard.


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## JessMess (Jan 8, 2009)

That's right, you never know who you can meet, one moment you can expect nothing, and the next you could be head over heels infatuated! I say open your heart and let the good stuff in! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


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## JessMess (Jan 8, 2009)

No problem! I do have MSN. It's [email protected] :mrgreen:


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## Zee Deveel (Aug 3, 2009)

Go have a romance with Bill Murray!


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Hey amphibians, are you visiting Japan for vacation or working there or other? You seem like a nice person. Hope you meet somebody nice today.


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## Rein (Apr 29, 2008)

I always wonder if there is anything known in Japanese (eastern) literature about depersonalization that is not widly knowed.


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

Zee Deveel said:


> Go have a romance with Bill Murray!


Thats one of my alltime favorite movies (Lost In Translation). Go watch "Zombieland" for Bill Murray people! And even without Bill Murray, the movie is completely awesome. The best movie I?ve seen in months.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Rein said:


> I always wonder if there is anything known in Japanese (eastern) literature about depersonalization that is not widly knowed.


that's a super interesting thought... have you looked up on it at all?


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## Jayreal (Sep 21, 2009)

hey there! saying all those negative things isn't bad and in fact you would be so surprised how others see you. we often think the worst of ourselves and that the biggest blow to our ego. when you find some one who really loves you, you will know deep down inside. love your self, have hope and enjoy your self in the garden of Eden (thats metaphoric i dont mean religion) every one is beautiful and every one knows it. despite what they tell there friends and family.


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## Zee Deveel (Aug 3, 2009)

Inzom said:


> Zee Deveel said:
> 
> 
> > Go have a romance with Bill Murray!
> ...


Glad someone got that reference, was worried people would think I was some kinda pervert.


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## amphibians (Feb 10, 2008)

Wow, I never thought I'd get so many responses... :shock:



Zee Deveel said:


> Go have a romance with Bill Murray!


But he's ugly. :lol: BUT I still love Lost In Translation.



Jayreal said:


> hey there! saying all those negative things isn't bad and in fact you would be so surprised how others see you. we often think the worst of ourselves and that the biggest blow to our ego. when you find some one who really loves you, you will know deep down inside. love your self, have hope and enjoy your self in the garden of Eden (thats metaphoric i dont mean religion) every one is beautiful and every one knows it. despite what they tell there friends and family.


Thanks...  It's just that... You know, I say bad things about myself because I want to be on "the safe side". Like, if I say I'm ugly, and someone agrees, I don't have to get disappointed. That's how my twisted brain works.  But still, you're right. EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL! In their own way. And... To be beautiful you don't have to have the perfect body and so on. Yeah... You're right! 



surfingisfun001 said:


> Hey amphibians, are you visiting Japan for vacation or working there or other? You seem like a nice person. Hope you meet somebody nice today.


I'm just here for a little vacation for some weeks... This is the first time I'm going here. All alone, too! I need to explore Tokyo, because I want to study, work and live here as soon as possible.


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## Tommygunz (Sep 7, 2009)

keep us posted on your trip, Tokyo has always been my #1 overseas destination, if i ever get to go. probably the most beautiful/cool looking city i have seen (on T.V.). hope all goes well.


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## amphibians (Feb 10, 2008)

I will!    
Yeah, Tokyo is like another world, I think... So different, and better, than Sweden (my homeland)! I hope to get the chance to stay here for a longer time, soon! Everyone here are so nice... <3


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

amphibians said:


> I'm just here for a little vacation for some weeks... This is the first time I'm going here. All alone, too! I need to explore Tokyo, because I want to study, work and live here as soon as possible.


That sounds fun, hope you find cool people and have a good time.


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## amphibians (Feb 10, 2008)

Thanks!  ????????
Thank you all. <333


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## backagain (Aug 8, 2009)

If you don't want to be lonely then you have to find a way to express yourself in a way that the people around you can connect with/appreciate and enjoy. I understand you feel this way but people are blind to each others true feelings. It's our job to find a way to express our feelings in a meaningful way and it's our job to understand the ways in which different people communicate.

Just like you were able to do in this thread, you were able to express your thoughts and emotions to a group of people who share common ideas, feelings and understandings. Find the common ideas, feelings and understandings in others around tokyo so you can develop your own idea of ways to communicate and connect. Use your heart to guide your head and find happiness so you don't sink in the sorrow and emptiness of a lonely tomorrow, it's just not a good way to live.

Why not start walking around tokyo smelling like sushi and carrying a nintendo in your purse ?

jk about the last part


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## Oggy1 (Oct 1, 2009)

lol hey atleast you're in nice, beautiful Tokyo. Try going through everyday life in grey gloomy London as a broke, college kid with too much stress and 24/7 DP/DR.. just look to the future


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