# Its true its bad to visit these forums



## allison84 (May 4, 2016)

Some old time people on here would likely remember me i posted many times looking for help 
I had chronic depersonalization and derealization from November 2015 untill march 2018 
The symptoms waxed and weaned over that time from severe to mild to severe to mild 
I came on here daily multiple times a day searching ect , what i didn't realize was that made it worse 
I suffered a massive loss in my family in march 2018 the death of my loved one was more tragic than any symptoms i had suffered during the time of suffering from depersonalization and derealization and the loss sent me into deep grief 
I stopped coming on here as my symptoms of depersonalization and derealization was not important anymore cause really the pain off my grief overwhelmed me
I completely stopped thinking about depersonalization and derealization around November 2018 got on with life and dealth with other horrible events that was thrown my way 
I realized the other day that i dont feel depersonalization or derealization anymore only during moments of high anxiety panic attacks but the feelings are fleeting and alwats pass now 
I remembered how addicted i was to this forum and i laughed cause i remember reading postsof people that had recovered saying stop coming on here and stop obsessing about the symptoms of depersonalization and derealization 
I forgot what it feels liketohave full blown depersonalization i remember it felt scary and horrid but i cannot FEEL it even if i try 
It was a hard time in my life and it makes me angry that i wasted so much time thiniing about depersonalization it took my time away from the things that really mattered to me , my lost loved one ....
Yesi still suffer from anxiety and i get panic attacks and with those panic attacks i sometimes get derealization not depersonalization but thefeelings go away quickly . Iam not afraid off them cause ive felt every symptom of depersonalization and derealization over those years , they are shit they cant hurt me 
I wished i had off listened to those recovery posts and stopped coming on here it would off gone away in months not years . So much wasted time 
Im not saying everyone with depersonalization and derealization will get well if they stop coming on here but tty it see what happens you have absolutely nothing to lose, you may get over . You certainly will not if you come on here ...
I believe it was not just me npt coming on here that ended the chronic nature off this crap but loosing someone you love so much put it in prospective and woke me up that this really isnt that bad . Yeah that will piss people off cause depersonalization and derealization feels terrible but there is way worse .
I had no sense of self , no identity , couldn't recognize myself in the mirror , felt like my body wasnt mine , detached from everyone , numb feelings , no memory , memories felt they were not mine , foggy vision , trapped in my head , racing mind , stuff looked fake , out of body experiences , felt like my mind was splitting in two . So many more i forget 
Go though my profile read the stuff i wrote i had it bad really bad like all off yous but im ok now and if i get depersonalization again ill follow my own advice ...


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## RecoveredGuy27y (Apr 29, 2019)

Yes. It's very true. I just made this account like 10 mins ago because I was studying for my behaviour analysis exam and I was looking reading about therapy I used to have to get myself and recalled the 3 or 4 years I had DP/DR. I am tired now, but I will probably make a big post about it after my exam on Thursday or so.

Long story short is DP feeds from this sh1t. The recovery is out there in the world, not in here obsessing about it, but I didn't know that myself, I went off studying History then with that distraction it slowly cleared up. Now I study psychology and am almost finished and hope to be treating people with the crap one day.

But yeah, to answer your Q. I would totally forget about looking at these type of sites. There is not quick fix. From what I can see from a ex-sufferer and an obsessed student (and trust me even my lecturers know very little about DP). Dp seems to be a sort of protection from reality that sends you into a weird crappy fog. It only lifts when you actually stop thinking about it, and to stop thinking about it, you really have to stop caring if you have it or not and obsessing about the cure. The cure is a paradox. The more you want it, the further you'll get from it.

Recovery comes in brief moments like you said, when you forget. Then these moments add up together to form minutes, then hours at a time until finally one day it's just gone and you can do stuff like me and literally study DP and not feel it or care that you might get it back. It's power just goes. It's strange but DP gave me huge insight into myself and getting through it has been the strongest piece of my personality since recovery. Nothing is a big deal anymore because you know it could be worse, you could have DP. Which is prob worse than most life situations when it is in it's worst form.

But to anyone reading, yeah, it's not forever, if you just stop trying to get rid of it.


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## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

RecoveredGuy27y said:


> Yes. It's very true. I just made this account like 10 mins ago because I was studying for my behaviour analysis exam and I was looking reading about therapy I used to have to get myself and recalled the 3 or 4 years I had DP/DR. I am tired now, but I will probably make a big post about it after my exam on Thursday or so.
> 
> Long story short is DP feeds from this sh1t. The recovery is out there in the world, not in here obsessing about it, but I didn't know that myself, I went off studying History then with that distraction it slowly cleared up. Now I study psychology and am almost finished and hope to be treating people with the crap one day.
> 
> ...


i can't agree with this, maybe for mild dp/dr. And what about the people who are suffering from it for years without knowing what is. How can they think about it if they don't know what it is? and yet they have it still. This maybe works for some. But for me it does not.


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## Justaquickrelieve (Dec 28, 2018)

Aridity said:


> i can't agree with this, maybe for mild dp/dr. And what about the people who are suffering from it for years without knowing what is. How can they think about it if they don't know what it is? and yet they have it still. This maybe works for some. But for me it does not.


The people who still have it but don't know what it is, they do think about it because you notice that something is wrong with you and you worry even more about it when you don't have an explanation on what is going on. The point of knowing what you have is the first step towards recovery, because that in itself can give you a peace of mind. And all the others who don't care but still have it, they either have a unprocessed trauma or they don't have a great lifestyle.


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## Phantasm (Jul 16, 2017)

Sometimes the best and only thing a doctor gives you is a label, which may be the only validation many people ever had, and that in itself can be a relief, but that's only the beginning. The validation itself, that someone actually acknowledged you are suffering, can be what matters. So this is mental health on a human level.

But yes, I think people who don't get better through straight forward methods have deeper issues. If, for example, someone had dissociated from childhood neglect or abuse, and that impact was unresolved, then ignoring it may not help. Our minds absorb teachings, good and bad, especially in childhood. If we don't challenge and correct bad learning it can shut us down like malware.

If someone has a basic level of more or less decent conditioning, meaning a reasonably sane upbringing, then they can "bounce back" with a few good prompts and a bit of good work, but if they didn't it may take a lot more work, in terms of learning the basics of sense of self and essential self esteem.


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## Jackk11 (May 9, 2018)

If you have reason to believe your symptoms stem from an anxiety disorder or panic then id say visiting these forums is probably not a great thing to do. But when these posts discourage everyone from coming here, even when a huge number of us are not going recover through “not thinking about it,” then it is a problem. I’m happy you feel better, but it’s a bad idea to shove everyone in a barrel and say oh this will work for everyone because it worked for me. Most mental disorders are not treated by a single intervention but rather trial and error.


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## ThoughtOnFire (Feb 10, 2015)

The DP/DR Community in my opinion is very important. Look, in my own experience I went years thinking I was alone. And when I found I wasn't alone and there were forums/groups for this, I had a profound shift. On the one hand it was great to have so many to relate and talk to. And it was also sad to see so many also have these mental problems. But there is support here that one won't usually find "in the real world". Here we can relate to each other, find validation and compassion, empathy, etc. I've forged lifelong friendships through DPSH. Life has a funny way of finding the silver lining to the stormy clouds. I get it, if you google your symptoms then you'll possibly get lost in hypochondria. And obsessively searching through a mental health forum can have the same effect. But when used in moderation, these kinds of groups can be a godsend. They can even be a lifeline in a time of crisis. I'm grateful for the DP/DR Community.


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## RobertSteenkamp (May 23, 2019)

Forums might not be, always provide the complete answer on a a complex problem, but parts of it can for sure be answered or understood here.

I find a lot of useful information here, by just reading other topics. If i would explain my problems, someone here might not always understand, because it is a long story.


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