# I honestly can't deal with this sh!t anymore.



## Realiity (Apr 26, 2009)

It's getting to be too much.
I'm looking for any way to get high.
I was taking someones pain killer precriptions. but those are gone now. all gone.








I can't seem to enjoy life without a buzz. Whether it's popping pills or drinking. Or both.
I'm an ex-cutter. I feel as though I NEED to cut in order to sleep. In order to feel a little bit of happiness. I haven't cut in months. but I feel like I'm falling. and have no choice.
It's been approximately 40-50 hours since I've slept at all.
I don't get this.
I don't have it hard.
I'm just fxcking crazy.
I'm messed up.
and I need help.
I just can't get it.
because help doesn't exist.
and neither do I. Nor do my surroundings.
FXCK THIS SH!T.


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## hervens (Feb 8, 2010)

Hey,
don't worry, i know exactly how you feel. We're all going threw this.

But in my opinion, besides the anti depressants that doctors might have prescribed to you, you wanna stay away away from ANY chemical that plays with your brain. Such as, alchool, ecstasy, weed, caffeine, etc. Please, just stay away from them, and i swear ull feel much better in 2 weeks. If you need to kill time, smoke cigarettes instead. Its no better for your health, but at least it wont worsen the dr/dp

And second, NEVER give up hope, and NEVER forget that dp/dr is a symptom of prolonged anxiety and depression, and as soon as they are gone, the dp/dr will go away by itself gradually.

Ive been suffering from dr for the past 2 years now, and about 3 months ago i registered at a gym. Ever since, Ive been going around 3 times a day, and doing vigourous cardiovascular exervices (jogging)

Now, just yesterday, while I left the gym to go to the bus stop, my heart rate went down, and i was feeling extremely calm. I looked around me, and its like I noticed the world in 3d for the first time, and the fog sorta just lifted. It was awsome. So basically, the dr went out for the first time in 2 years for about 1 hour or so, and then came back on gradually after i started stressing for some reason. Now, I just cant wait for tomorrow to go back to the gym again, and at least now im certain im on my way to dr free.

Anyways, this is just to tell you that you'll feel that way for as long as YOU WANT to feel that way. If you want it to leave, stop freaking out, go out and have fun, exercise, always try to stay as calm as possible, and stop thinking about it!
l8ter


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## codeblue213 (Feb 15, 2010)

Dude, be careful. Painkiller withdrawal is a major intense DP/Depression combination that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Dude hang in there. We all feel like shit with this but it can get better if you find out what helps it. I noticed that I got some relief from taking d-ribose (a type of energy giving sugar), SAM-e (health supplement), and now I've read that a prohormone called pregnenolone (supplement at health stores...Vitamin World in the US carries it) may be helpful. Watch out with other people's meds. You're playing with fire. If you're not on meds for depersonalization see a doctor. And always ask a doctor if it's ok to mix other stuff with your regular meds.


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

Realiity said:


> I'm an ex-cutter. I feel as though I NEED to cut in order to sleep. In order to feel a little bit of happiness. I haven't cut in months. but I feel like I'm falling. and have no choice.


If push comes to shove maybe the ice cube trick? That is if you have access to a freezer that might provide some relief without losing your cutting sobriety chip?
I know what it 's like keeping away from self harm and I must admit while I haven't cut in some years that doesn't mean my self harm record has been untarnished for all that time. Keeping from hurting yourself is just as hard as keeping yourself from giving in to any other addiction, but the relief it provides is so insignificant and short lived it is really not worth the way you'll feel afterwards. (Mind you, it 's like trying to stay away from ****, alcohol and chocolate.. at the same time..)

I always felt like there was no reason to dissolve into DP like I did either. I felt so guilty for it, as if I had chosen this path, as if I was deliberately letting down everybody invested in me. My friends and family. These were wrong conclusions. Looking back I know now that I did not choose to have myself a meltdown. Neither did you. None of us do.

Shit happens. There is no rhyme or reason to it, but whether it be a blip in our hormonal balance causing our brains to turn sour or just a stress response gone wrong, you do not deserve this and it is not your fault this happened to you. It may not seem likely right now, but just as shit happens, good things do too. And good things will happen for you. Hang in there. I know it 's hell but keep going.


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## wetlknboutpractice2222 (Feb 7, 2010)

pancake said:


> If push comes to shove maybe the ice cube trick? That is if you have access to a freezer that might provide some relief without losing your cutting sobriety chip?
> I know what it 's like keeping away from self harm and I must admit while I haven't cut in some years that doesn't mean my self harm record has been untarnished for all that time. Keeping from hurting yourself is just as hard as keeping yourself from giving in to any other addiction, but the relief it provides is so insignificant and short lived it is really not worth the way you'll feel afterwards. (Mind you, it 's like trying to stay away from ****, alcohol and chocolate.. at the same time..)
> 
> I always felt like there was no reason to dissolve into DP like I did either. I felt so guilty for it, as if I had chosen this path, as if I was deliberately letting down everybody invested in me. My friends and family. These were wrong conclusions. Looking back I know now that I did not choose to have myself a meltdown. Neither did you. None of us do.
> ...


hey man just stop getting fucked up off of shit that will make it worse even tho it might feel like its doing good just take good things like pop vitamins instead lol things that are healthy for you eat better and get rid of the stress hats what im trying to do drugs will make it worse


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## wetlknboutpractice2222 (Feb 7, 2010)

wetlknboutplayoffs2222 said:


> hey man just stop getting fucked up off of shit that will make it worse even tho it might feel like its doing good just take good things like pop vitamins instead lol things that are healthy for you eat better and get rid of the stress hats what im trying to do drugs will make it worse


i was the biggest pothead in the world befor dp hit me i quit that and i quit drinking im not really seeing any positive things yet but im trying to take supplements i see it as a sign mabey it was just meant for me to quit drugs and the only way i was gonna quit smoking is well if something like this happend to me and well i jsut take it when i do get out of this i will be a better person and not take shit for granted who knew just feeling your self was something that you take for granted


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