# Terrified, Lost, Unbearable DR, Help.



## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

THIS IS THE WORST IT HAS EVER EVER BEEN. I don't know what I'm doing, don't know where I am, feel so spacey, I CANNOT FUNCTION at all. I was fine before. Going out, doing my usual routine and now I'm stuck in hell. I don't know WHAT provoked it. This is absolute torture. I'm so scared. I can't do anything. The only thing that helps me is going to sleep. I was doing such a great job before at coping and finding ways to distract myself but now I have completely fallen. It feels like there is no way out at this point. I can't even leave the house, do simple tasks, everything I do, I feel lost or like I'm not doing them or I'm stuck in a trance. I feel brain damaged. This is horror. I need some slight bit of relief but it's not happening for me. This is so intense I can't even explain it. As I type this it doesn't even feel real. WHAT CAN I DO? I mentally and physically feel PARALYZED.

It has never been this bad, before I was able to cope quite well, and thinking back to it, I did a very good job. Everything wasn't as bad months ago, weeks ago, even a week ago for that matter. Now it just hit me with full force. Has anyone had DR so intense, and I mean horrifyingly intense that they just couldn't function, they just felt completely lost and out of it? DOES IT GET BETTER? IS THERE ANY RELIEF?

I was on Zoloft before but stopped taking it. Stopped taking abilify also. As soon as I was starting to wean myself off of Abilify and Ativan, things seemed to get worse, or maybe the abilify messed up my brain? I don't even know anymore. I'm now back with Ativan (Again) and just started lexapro a few days ago. I need to be able to function, even if it's just a little bit, I would be so greatful. THIS IS HELL.

I actually went to the bathroom yesterday and just started to cry, asking god to help me. This is how bad it has become.


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## Nihil Dexter (Sep 9, 2010)

Melissa, you need to calm down. I was a mess when it started, couldn't leave my bed because of it.
You will get better. I think you're experiencing some weird withdrawal from your meds. especially from the ativan, as it is
a benzo. Did you taper it slowly, or did you stop taking it cold turkey ? In addition, starting lexapro or any other AD will make things worse in the beginning. So hang in there.


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## china77 (Aug 27, 2010)

Melissa_Z said:


> THIS IS THE WORST IT HAS EVER EVER BEEN. I don't know what I'm doing, don't know where I am, feel so spacey, I CANNOT FUNCTION at all. I was fine before. Going out, doing my usual routine and now I'm stuck in hell. I don't know WHAT provoked it. This is absolute torture. I'm so scared. I can't do anything. The only thing that helps me is going to sleep. I was doing such a great job before at coping and finding ways to distract myself but now I have completely fallen. It feels like there is no way out at this point. I can't even leave the house, do simple tasks, everything I do, I feel lost or like I'm not doing them or I'm stuck in a trance. I feel brain damaged. This is horror. I need some slight bit of relief but it's not happening for me. This is so intense I can't even explain it. As I type this it doesn't even feel real. WHAT CAN I DO? I mentally and physically feel PARALYZED.
> 
> It has never been this bad, before I was able to cope quite well, and thinking back to it, I did a very good job. Everything wasn't as bad months ago, weeks ago, even a week ago for that matter. Now it just hit me with full force. Has anyone had DR so intense, and I mean horrifyingly intense that they just couldn't function, they just felt completely lost and out of it? DOES IT GET BETTER? IS THERE ANY RELIEF?
> 
> ...


Girl this shit is the worse trust me I've been there and still go through it sometime, but it got better. It will get better. It seem like the days are going by so slow because we have this. I know you thinking it will never end and you will be like this forever but believe me it will get better. I just tell myself this is a result of anxiety, the anxiety will get better. I'm learning ways to cope with it and eventually it will go away completly. I was having intrusive thoughts which is the worse, thoughts of suicide and everything, but those feelings will subside in time because I realize that its just a thought, and thoughts cant hurt you. I never heard of anyone dying from having a thought. Just hang in there, Because it does get better.


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## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

I tapered off them slowly, first with Zoloft (no withdrawal symptoms) This was about a month ago. Then decided to taper off slowly from Abilify and Ativan, nothing was done cold turkey. (things were okay when I first started doing this but as time went on, I got worse and I got worse on Tuesday) On Monday (before things went downhill) when I went to my Psychiatrist, which was also my last day of taking my final dose of Abilify and Ativan, she gave me the "Okay" to stop and she said if I need to, to take the Ativan "As Needed" Tuesday, felt horrible, Wednesday, felt horrible, Thursday, feeling very disoriented and lost, it was an emergency so I had to have my mom go with me to the doctor because I couldn't do it myself and that's when she gave my lexapro. Friday, same thing, come today (still feel terrible.) Could this just be because I was tapering off my meds and then it just finally HIT ME. I don't think I should of stopped taking my Medication in the first place : / I'm hoping that Lexapro helps. I've read that it helps a lot with DR. Also, I just started taking fish oil.


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## Teresa (Nov 23, 2009)

Hi mellissa..

Its the benzos... u can get bad DP and DR for a while... even though u do it slowly... Dont panic... Its "just" the meds and it will fade out...


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## whatthehell (Jul 27, 2010)

Hey, I went through the worst feelings with DR and DP, it does get better. You need to allow yourself to get used to the lexapro. I take celexa, and it made me feel a bit weird at first. 
I feel better now, and the more you freak out over how you feel the more ingrained the habit of doing so becomes and the longer the feelings last. Eventually you will calm down,
but you gotta give your self a break. I also take ativan, but 1mg as needed, I never have any withdrawls from it, how much were you prescribed?


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## skeyesthelimit (Nov 9, 2010)

I'm thinking it could be some withdrawal from the Abilify and Ativan. I've slowly came off medicine before and still experienced withdrawal. This will pass in time. Continue taking the Lexapro and, I know it's hard, but try to relax as much as you can; you will be ok and come through with this.


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

I hope you feel better melissa its been a up and down battle with me. sometimes i feel better then all of the sudden i feel worse. I've broke down and cried quite a few times, but what else can we do but keep going on. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything will come together.


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## dpsince2002 (Oct 26, 2008)

I know what you mean. I was crying earlier today because of just how disoriented I was getting; hope yours gets better, and mine too!


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