# I had a Psychotic Break.. in my Sleep



## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

I had a very real dream last night. I dreampt I was in school in the 12th grade but when I got there they tried to tell me I was in the 9th grade. The dream seemed to keep flashing and repeating until I found myself in Kindergarten. I tried so hard to convince them I was in 12th grade and told them I knew the square root of 144 and who killed Abraham Lincoln. Not exactly very advanced for 12th grade, but for a kindergartner it would have been.

The dream flashed again and suddenly i was invisible as if I didn't exist anymore. I through things on the ground at school and people just stepped over them without noticing. It was horrible and so real. Finally I ended up at home- the home I lived in during kindergarten. I looked outside and saw Santa and his reindeer. I told my mom and she said i was imagining things but I knew that I saw them- they were real. Then I saw the wicked witch of the west on her broom and begged my mom to come see, but she said I was crazy. It seemed so real. I felt insane.

Other things happened that I don't want to talk about, but it was so terrible that I was very shaken when i woke up. Enough to want to call off work. I went to work anyway- I'm at work. But I still feel shaken up.


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

I had my first lucid dream (at least in a long time) where I didn't wake up as soon as I realized I was dreaming. The only way out of the dream, I soon discovered, was to shoot myself in the head. I did it without hesitating. I woke up very afraid.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Dang that sucks.


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## Matt210 (Aug 15, 2004)

Sounds like my dreams on a nightly basis. I don't even let them phase me anymore - but I used to get so horrified by them they would ruin my entire day. Probably just another withdrawal symptom.

Luckily for you it doesn't count as a psychotic break if it happens in your sleep.

Hope you are doing okay at work.


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## Guest (Apr 29, 2009)

Fortunately, I rarely remember my dreams, if I have them at all. This tells me they're unremarkable, and certainly not disturbing. I suppose I'm lucky in that respect. I do frequently wake up in the middle of the night with the sensation I've just been born. I don't mean naked, crying and covered in gore, I mean absolutely confused as to where I am. Once, on an occasion when I'd fallen asleep with my laptop still running, I woke up with a start and apparently thought the laptop was a person sat on my bed or something and shoved it onto the floor. That was pretty weird. I suppose it's logical that I'd been dreaming, but I couldn't remember what it was about.


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## Guest (Apr 29, 2009)

It sounds like you are releasing possible feelings of invalidation from childhood perhaps Jesse. Unfortunatly as we heal, this stuff comes out in horrible dreams, I still have them myself.<3

ps. The dreams seem real and are very vivid because the feelings in them are what are real.


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

I'm having variations of the same dream almost every night -Being in a building, very often the house I grew up in or a hospital for some reason, and I'm frantically trying to find the way out of there. 
I'll go up and down in elevators, asking people for directions, walking through endless corridors, often coming across dead people, crusifixes or my mum.. (she died three years ago.) It's very distressing because the eerie feeling I've had in the dream will linger for a long long time after I wake up, reminding me of being a scared little kid. 
I guess I've felt trapped a lot in my life, and now I can't find the way out of dp.

It's really strange, but I had this dream a week ago, running desperately around inside a building, getting more and more scared and frustrated. Finally I found someone to ask for directions and they said: "The door is right there in front of you..Wasn't that the way you came in...?"
And I rushed past the person and out into the street, the rain was poring down and it was a wonderful sensation of relief!
When I woke up, I had absolutely no dp, and was fine the rest of the day. Unfortunately, it came back when I started obsessing about my thoughts again at night :|


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## York (Feb 26, 2008)

> I do frequently wake up in the middle of the night with the sensation I've just been born. I don't mean naked, crying and covered in gore, I mean absolutely confused as to where I am.


I have that from time to time too, day and night actually. It's the scariest feeling in the world. It always make me panic, and eat benzos with both hands.

One time I actually did wake up naked, crying and covered in gore, turned out I'd just been abducted by aliens, so that was a relief.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

york said:


> One time I actually did wake up naked, crying and covered in gore, turned out I'd just been abducted by aliens, so that was a relief.


That sounds like some kind of flashback of childbirth.


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## Mcren (Mar 30, 2009)

When you first have a lucid dream , Is it frightening to know you dreaming and don't wake up right when you realize your dreaming?


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

Mcren said:


> When you first have a lucid dream , Is it frightening to know you dreaming and don't wake up right when you realize your dreaming?


I usually wake up as soon as I become lucid, but if you manage to stay dreaming it's usually not unsettling. Instead it can be quite liberating.


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

When I realize I'm dreaming, I don't wake up. Instead I'm granted control over my dream and can do anything I wish to.


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## Mcren (Mar 30, 2009)

egodeath said:


> Mcren said:
> 
> 
> > When you first have a lucid dream , Is it frightening to know you dreaming and don't wake up right when you realize your dreaming?


I usually wake up as soon as I become lucid, but if you manage to stay dreaming it's usually not unsettling. Instead it can be quite liberating.[/quote
Dp seems alot like a very vivid lucid dream doesn't it. I mean I literally in my onset thought I was dreaming, but then I got up and walked around and realized I was in control of my actions but still had the "I'm sure I'll wake up any moment sensation", you know.


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## egodeath (Oct 27, 2008)

Mcren said:


> egodeath said:
> 
> 
> > Mcren said:
> ...


Yeah, but when you become lucid in a dream there are clear signs that you are dreaming and you can usually will yourself awake. Signs of still being asleep:
-Text that is too blurry to read, or text that changes after looking away for a second
-Blurry or scrambled numbers, such as on the face of a digital watch
-Odd number of fingers or fingers that change in length (this is always what tips me off)
-Light switches or plumbing don't work
-You can hold your nose and still breathe (this doesn't work for me)
-Having supernatural powers (unless you can fly in reality)


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## Conjurus (Oct 25, 2008)

Ah yeah the flying thing. That's how I know it's a dream. It used to feel so real when i was a kid that when I woke up, I'd try to fly just like I was in the dream. Now I just don't want to wake up because I enjoy having the super powers.


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## Garjon (Apr 4, 2009)

the flying thing has always been a tricky one for me. when it first started happening i really believed i had the power to fly and i slowly trained myself to recognize it was a dream. But now it comes through in a different way like i can jump really high and fall slowly, so i'm still convinced that i'm not in a dream and its real because i actually persuade myself in the dream that it's real life. Pretty crazy.

does anyone else have crazy dreams and then throughout the day you run into objects or things that were in your dream and it brings it all flooding back? This really disturbed me for the first month of my dp because i couldn't understand how it was happening. My dreams have gotten less scary over time which i am thankful for.

Lastly, the thing about feeling like you are being born, i have had the opposite sensation and it is scary as hell. I have woken up convinced that then and there i was dying. This was before the dp though. I am sure at this point (because this has happened to me so many times and i have died in my sleep so realistically so many times) that i know full well what it feels like to die. You'd think that would be liberating but i'm still terrified of death.

sorry to ramble, i just noticed this thread and found it interesting.


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