# Hope and Answers and Recovery Here....



## John77 (Apr 15, 2015)

Thinking of the possibility of being trapped in this life, or the afterlife in this pain, while suffering from this horrible disorder for a little less than 2 years. Two pshychiatrists suggested I should be hospitalized. The pain was diagnosed as severe depression and severe anxiety (which can lead to the disorder), along with my severe OCD of intrusive thoughts and patterns. Great news, guess what? I'm cured. I have none of that stuff now. Great news again....why?......because there is no intrusive thoughts. Yes "THOUGHTS". That is the whole disease of this disorder. Simple. I was on the highest dose of meds for the OCD and depression, and another med in a high dose for anxiety. By the way, I don't take any meds now and feel better than ever. This is all under the care of a pshychiatrist who decided to taper me off the meds eventually. Oh I hated doctors and meds, and was soooo stubborn. But the story goes like this: The meds broke up my depression, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts enough to create a new thought pattern. The new brain chemistry with less depression and less of the anxiety pattern of thinking, changed to more happy and positive thinking. My attitude and thoughts changed. My negative "THOUGHTS" went away. And that my friend....is all. The meds eventually started making me real tired....so the doctor started lowering them systematically. My nervous system had cooled down. My perception was back to normal. Things started looking real again....and I remembered who I was deep down inside. I was always somebody with a sense of humor, and have strong faith, I beleive in heaven and good things. I started making fun of my own thoughts....and how fucked up I was during that phase and breakdown I had. A thing of the PAST is what that phase becomes. It was the darkest time in my life....hey fuck it! It's over....I was fucked up. Keep thinking PAST. I just simply tell my family or friends...."I was just going through something" and had depression, like some kind of breakdown. I don't go into details because I don't want to fuck anyone elses head up. I did have therapy....and yes it helped to tell my story....about how I arrived at the breakdown. Remember to explain it to a therapist as a mental breakdown....because that is all it really is. Then try to figure out with the therapist how your mind got altered into this bullshit. I know that it could happen from drug use, but mine occured from prolonged deep thinking and depression for too long. Also panic attacks and anxiety are known by doctors to trigger the bad feelings and perception disorder. That's why the meds I was on helped break the pattern of thinking. Shit...I never had anxiety in my life before I started thinking too deep about all this shit. It's ALL BULLSHIT! BELEIVE ME.....fuck the THOUGHTS. It's all in your mind. Get out and live.. and enjoy life....go and socialize. Get healthy. Go walking in some sunshine, eat some good food, relax, enjoy. Get involved with a creative project....because your probably really creative to start thinking such deep thoughts in the first place. I'm a musician...and I got lost in some fun projects lately that has helped me be me again. And whatever you do....don't constantly dwell on these thoughts. Break the pattern....don't take yourself so seriously.....and guess what....ALL THESE THOUGHTS WILL FADE. YOU WILL FORGET YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS. I almost forgot I had this problem in the past. But I came here today to help. Please ask me, if there are any questions. Yours Truley ... John.


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## sunjet (Nov 21, 2014)

Very nice. Congrats.

That's the secret cure : Not giving a *uck and living your life like a normal person and not obsessing over your thoughts or reacting to negative ones.

The real problem why most people can't apply it is because of doubt. They doubt it will help, they think is something else and it will not go away. It's hard to believe that you can cure when your distorted perception alters also your "believing".

But it's that simple anyway 

Have a nice day


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## gasspanicc (Mar 21, 2012)

meditate and work on letting go, take meds or do something to improve your life. this coming from someone whos been every possible symtom, thought, mindfuck this disorder brings. everything passes, give up on perfection and just start livin.


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## mayathebee (Dec 15, 2014)

John and gaspanic, did you ever in your experiences truly doubt reality all together? It's so nice to see recovery stories but I worry they only apply to people who had intact reality testing. I worry I will never be able to unthink these thoughs about doubting objective reality.


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## sunshinita (Aug 13, 2013)

It doesn't matter what the thought is, it's all the same obsession. Everyone's experience is different, we all feel dp in a different way.There are a lot of common symptoms but afterall we are individuals and everybody goes through it with different thoughts and obsessions.I know your pain, your struggle, even though my obsession is a little bit different. We desperately seek someone who has the exact same symptoms as ours, so we can feel a little better and not alone. But they are never 100% the same. I feel as if I am the only one who has this exact symptom I have. You may feel the same way. When we see someone who has recovered we go and ask questions like'but did you have this EXACT symptom?'. It's never exactly the same. When I post my story there were many people who told me ''yes, I feel exactly the same way'' but then I go and read their stories and it doesn't sound the same, not even the slightest. Sometimes when I read my own story I feel as if it's not what I feel because it's very hard to put into words my weird sensations. No matter the symptoms,it all comes down to disorted perception of life.


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## John77 (Apr 15, 2015)

Mayathebee, yes it got that bad for me also.....and my mind doubted all reality, and shutdown completely. But like Sunshinita said...."it all comes down to distorted perception of life". As long as you remind yourself that this is just distorted perception....eventually your mind will give up on the bullshit thoughts. Your mind will get tired of thinking too deep. Also Gasspanicc and Sunjet made very good posts earlier about recovery. Very very good points.


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## gasspanicc (Mar 21, 2012)

see the thought let it go, everything passes. reality thoughts are just your mind fuckin with u. its all ocd, the never ending loop of doubt and uncertainty, that is brought on by dp/dr. Meds can help with the obsessiveness, but ultimately once u learn to let go through meditation ,medication should no longer be required.


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## Chiron (Apr 2, 2015)

Maya (and everyone else)--

The fact that you're worrying about whether or not your reality testing is intact is, in fact, an indication that your reality testing is intact. Another member on here posted something similar about those of us who are worried about whether or not we are developing schizophrenia-- that fact that you are asking yourself if you're developing schizophrenia is an indication that you are not developing schizophrenia. I work in an inpatient psychiatric facility and can tell you that none of those people I've met in the throes of a psychotic break ever wonder to themselves whether or not they are experiencing a distorted reality.

This isn't to minimize the distress, the power, or the persistence of the thoughts you are feeling. I'm not saying they don't exist, nor am I saying that you're totally fine-- though in a sense, you are. Your fear about being unwell is what is causing you to feel unwell, but the existential, frightening thoughts themselves are not true, though they may feel as though they are. On some level, you already understand that-- otherwise you wouldn't be posting here in an anxiety forum, but would rather be entertaining vast conspiracy theories and cavorting with some very 'far-out' characters across the internet on another forum and dismissing entirely out of hand any suggestion that you have an obsessive, anxious disorder.

I would suggest listening to an episode on the Inivisibilia Podcast called 'The Secret History of Thoughts'-- particularly the first part about 'S', an otherwise normal fellow who found himself one day caught in a whirlpool of vicious, violent, intrusive, obsessive thoughts. His experience, and subsequent recovery, I think may help you to understand better the nature of your own experience.

Here is the link:






You'll get out of this, though you do have a journey ahead of you. All of us here do. Whether that journey includes medication, therapy, or other lifestyle changes varies entirely from individual to individual. You have a lot of options before you and in no way should think you've exhausted any possibility of recovery. Just the opposite, in fact. However, part of the nature of your condition is that you're mind is going to insist that things can't get better, or that your particular case is unique and irreparable. You are going to experience fear and despondency and anxiety and catastrophic thinking and strange existential thoughts. But as you learn to distance yourself from them and place your attention elsewhere-- to stop feeding them-- they will gradually diminish in both intensity and frequency. You cannot, however, force them to go away-- this will lead to more fear, anxiety, and rumination, and keep the cycle going. You will have to learn to sit with them and take steps through activities or other changes that help prevent their continued reoccurrence.

You will fail one-hundred times before you succeed once in dancing with these thoughts in the proper way. It will feel very strange and unnatural at first to choose not to feed them, to say to yourself 'oh, this is just the anxiety and weird intrusive thoughts coming back again... I can't do anything about it except try to focus on something else, and they will play themselves out in due time. I will feel fearful, anxious, and hopeless for the time-being, and even though the idea that I might somehow attain peace of mind and calm in the future might feel like a lie, I will choose to believe it-- because that's how everyone else has recovered". It will feel strange, indeed to do this. But you will do it. Then you will fail 99 more times and maybe get it right twice. Then 98. Then maybe back to 100. Then 95. And maybe many months from now, 50. But gradually, calm will become the new normal. It's a slow, backwards-turning process, but you will get there, and you will be extraordinary for having done it.

Therapy, medication, exercise, work, distraction, good sleep hygiene-- all things that can help you. Find what works for you.

With love and support,

C


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## John77 (Apr 15, 2015)

Chiron, I am very glad to hear that you are doing well, and making such great progress. I went to your page and read your story about how your mind had this tendency of deeper thinking even at 8 years old, like when you "lost your jacket". I ended up finally getting depersonalization/derealization in the recent year of 2013 and ended up on Zoloft...just like you. And it worked. It will keep getting better for you...trust me. Or trust the psychiatrist actually...because he will be adjusting the dose accordingly until this will soon be a forgotten phase and feeling in your mind. It will soon feel like a distant bad dream that you once had. That's all. Simple.

I had the deep thinking issue at a young age that my parents, just like your parents, thought was just a phase that would pass. We called it the "thinking problems". By the time I was 16, I was in my basement walking around the coffee table circling it thousands of times while thinking and analyzing the science of things for 2 or 3 hours straight. My mom would say...."John, what are ya doing down there?" I would say "thinking problems". She would say "come upstairs already"....and I would say...."I'm thinking!"

Before I go into the whole story once and for all on this site.....I would also like to remind everyone reading that.......everyone will probably have similar, but still quite interesting and very different stories that lead to the DP episode that we all can relate to. Yeah, all those weird and strange DP thoughts and feelings are usually the part we all can relate to. Also the stress, depression, anxiety, or obsessive thoughts, that lead up to it. Some will have drugs or alcohol, or panic attacks in their stories that lead to this DP episode also. My next post below will be my entire story. Right now I have to run to my next class that I will be teaching soon. Yes... I'm a high school teacher. I got DP back in 2013 while I was a teacher, and a family man....talk about stress and anxiety. Don't worry....2 years later. I'm cured. And I kept working as a teacher through the whole damn thing...... To Be Continued.......


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## John77 (Apr 15, 2015)

So here is the story.......but don't get bored...keep reading for the part where I get CURED.

I had the creative, and over analytical mind since I was a child.....eventually I became a drummer when I was 9 or 10 years old, I played in bands, and some people who knew me had told me I was one of the best drummers they had ever seen. Ok fine...so I was unusually creative and made my own beats, and realized I had a strong natural ear for making music. I played in a famous club in New York City "CBGB's", and eventually I started producing hip hop beats for rap artists. But "thinking problems" was the curse of being so creative. My favorite pleasant thought til this day is imagining myself in a serene country-like picture of nature, like the one I gaze at on the wall inside a hotel corridor with trees and lots of grass fields. Oh how I wish I could forever live peaceful within a more spacious and nature-like environment, where the sky is so blue and the grass so serene. I'm a New York City man with lot's of stimulation in my past, and presently I live in my hometown Brooklyn where I have basically always been. I had a fun interesting childhood pretty much, always doing music or running around with a tape recorder taping and splicing people's voices and sounds together, making for a good talk show.....and then I eventually started video taping everything. Sense of humor...passionate....hilarious at times....all that good fun shit was part of who I was and my childhood.....until one day when I was 16....my mind asked an extreme existential question in the backseat of a car one night while heading back from upstate with my family....."can this be real?".... just like that I got my mind in some trouble, and then for the next few days I started praying to God, because I scared myself into altering my perception thinking in that backseat. It happened within minutes in that backseat, and for no reason except that I am prone to thinking too intrusively.....boom...my mind snapped to the weird feeling, and for 2 weeks straight I suffered my first DP episode like a train hit my mind....but then somehow because I was still a young and busy teen....I shrugged off the deep thinking. This first very very short episode (2 weeks) cleared away immediately, which proves by the way....DP is a creation that our mind makes, and that we can also turn off for good.

CHAPTER 1: (Thinking Problems) From the age of 16 through 21, even though I managed to shrug off that initial short DP episode of two weeks, I still continued to question things of a science nature and how people were put together to function. That really kept my mind occupied............now remember what I said in my post above..... By the time I was 16, I was in my basement walking around the coffee table circling it thousands of times while thinking and analyzing the science of things for 2 to 3 hours straight. My mom would say...."John, what are ya doing down there?" I would say "thinking problems". She would say "come upstairs already"....and I would say...."I'm thinking!" This lasted for 5 years but they were just general questions and theories that I created for my own informational use and practice. I actually was very depressed for weeks here and there at times....until I finished analyzing whatever "thinking problem" it was at the time and completed the theory. What a waste of 5 years thinking around the coffee table or other locations of my teen years.....but I managed to finish high school, get a Masters Degree, hold a part time job as a personal trainer while becoming a physical education teacher/ health teacher which I still am. So my backup plan to teach, and have enough vacation time to do music worked out for me. No record deal for me still lol. That's another story....but I had a lot of fun along the way......while pushing away that "original existential thought". Existential thoughts...are just an annoyance. That's all. I hardly ever in that time period all the way up to 2013 gave that "original existential thought" a chance. Well for me it wasn't until another decade later....yes I'm in my 30's......that I already had just started a family when things got worse.

CHAPTER 2: (Unfortunate Breakdown) Did I mention I was spiritual? That is a good thing. Thinking too hard is not. I will backtrack......yes during this whole lifetime I have been in touch with God....and never questioned anything. That was a good thing. Simple faith. I would be in temple praying and feeling good....and I was not raised religious.....but for one whole year straight in 2012....I started studying with an authority of the bible and questioning how good of a person I was and thinking very deep. It was very unfortunate that way before I was diagnosed with OCD.....I blamed my sexual addiction and thought patterns on myself thinking I was a bad person. Yes there is always room for improvement, and working on myself was important. Everybody I know usually says I'm a very warm and great loving guy. But my issues and deep thinking, plus my sexual encounters was my drug. I would even pay money to get what I wanted. I would need another 10 pages of writing to explain all of that so.......in a nutshell......this is what happened.........My spiritual side clashed with my OCD and sexual intrusive thoughts clashed with deep spiritual thinking, and ruminating on other spiritual stuff......and thinking and....thinking.....thinking and confusion.....depression...depression......more isolation and talking to myself.....anxiety, depression and then boom.............I give up... my mind said....I hate my mind....I want to be a better person......and.....but It could be worse......I said to myself......but I want to stop thinking.......about what?.....I asked? Thinking about?...... Oh wait a minute....it could be worse.......and then boooom!........... the original thought came back. My mind shutdown like lightning hit it...DP. DP damn it!!! First time in about 20 years. Wow I was pushing away that irrational thought for 20 years? Ha...I guess I was busy having a life. BUT THEN.....2 years of DP.......after snapping from prolonged depression, intrusive thoughts, and spiritual rumination (thinking too damn hard for no reason is what that means). Yep...I didn't need any drugs to get me into this DP altered state of mind folks....nope....according to my psychiatrist and his collegue therapist who worked along side him on me, had determined this was just my unfortunate brain chemistry...but it was only going to be temporary until I got my medicine. Anyway...I beleive in God, and I beleive He wanted me to get better, and wanted me to at least try the medicine.

Thinks it's hard getting DP when your younger......try getting it when your already working full time and have a family, and complete life with friends who knew you your whole life. We all know that strange feeling from DP......like we are not even present in our bodies....or we don't recognize ourselves....imagine that is happening while your family is like....hello? are you there? Whats wrong with you? You still need to take care of the bills now...the job....the kids.....etc. What about music? nothing inside me, it was all over for me, distorted and depressed forever?..............NO...it is not forever. To all of you out there...............DP WILL END. IT GETS BETTER. YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT. IT CAN BE CURED. I AM CURED.

SECOND TO FINAL CHAPTER: (Truly Sick) To make things worse, I still had to keep driving to work everyday, because I was out of sick days, took my last 2 after seeing my primary doctor for help......but had another month of work before the summer vacation. But man was I fuckin' SICK! I developed a new OCD condition all on my own while on the road...I was dellusional and actually thought I was breaking some kind of codes, looking at license plates, and this is very unfortunate because my dellusions were tricking me into thinking I was getting "signs from hell" on cars going by. That is All bullshit!! FUCK!!!! My OCD had to do this shit to me and it progressed!!... and OCD tricked me into thinking my DP was some kind of hell episode...and the license plates on the road were biblical signs. Fucked up. Well that episode continued on....to the point where I was walking around outside on a hot summer day without my shirt on.....looking at parked cars for patterns of words and numbers for hours and many miles a day. My family thought I was developing schizophrenia. So did I.......And I was told by my wife, when she caught me some miles away from home while she was driving, that I looked like a crazy sick man out there...eyeballs bulging and all. I even asked a friend to confirm the color of the car I was looking at was white.....because the last time I looked at it... it was black. Fucking idiot!! he said. The owner changed her leased car to a new one and kept the same licence plate! What a fuckin' moron I was. But this was bad. Two psychiatrists thought hospitalization may have been a good option for me. In general....I was in DP land the whole entire time. It was (Not schizophrenia) and I was (Not pshychotic). I was questioning things so much....but that is a good sign when you are actually disturbed by your own thoughts.....because it means you don't really beleive this is happening to you and are not crazy. It makes it more painful ...yes....because you can't stand your mind when it is like this and you are fighting to get well...but you may need help with some medicine. Therapy as well.....but my psychiatrist said....you really need to focus on the medicine first, to get well now! You don't want this to go any further!

FINAL CHAPTER: (Good Psychiatrist AND CURE) Usually a good psychiatrist will prescribe a "cocktail" which is two medicines at once. One for anxiety and one for depression. Believe me for those of you that got DP from panic attacks, I never had suffered one until only after I got DP, but I know how intense and incredibly painful those attacks could be....I suffered my first one only after I got the DP that first day like 2 hours later as I was driving.....and then for a few more days here and there after.....but then I figured out that was all in my mind also...so I was able to stop them forever at that point. Thank God. Even with the most stress, anxiety, depression, and pain that I ever felt, running through my body chemicals and system,.....still my blood pressure was stable in a doctor's office by learning and knowing how to control my mind long before this happened to me. Blood-work came back in excellent condition also, even though I lost 30 pounds in a few weeks from the DP stress and depression, not to mention walking around miles and miles a day looking at license plates unfortunately. I was very sick. Anyway.......before the "cocktail"......when I first got DP and the whole episode started....I first desperately went to my family doctor (a regular doctor) not a psychiatrist.... Big mistake. He knew me my whole life...and he was like "so what's going on with you John?" He just gave me Klonopin and Lexapro and sent me on my way after a short description on how to use the meds properly. For me personally....I instantly didn't like Lexapro....because I felt even more spaced out, but a real psychiatrist would have told me it is temporary while my body and mind adjusts to it. I was saying... this shit will give me more depersonalization or derealization! Then I stopped it after 5 days (by the way, your not suppose to stop suddenly, that is very dangerous because your suppose to taper off slow).....but now I was still taking Klonopin alone. This was fucked up because you can't be your own doctor. Klonopin was so addicting on the lowest dose...and whenever it started to leave my system before I took the next dose....it left me feeling paranoid as a side effect. That's when the license plate thing started getting even worse. Shit...I was so paranoid. But guess what.....license plates and signs from hell.... Nah...that was just me having a breakdown...and having a very creative mind. It's my musician's mind. And my spiritual side I guess. Being paranoid was not helping...fuck that I said at that point...I need help...and need a real psychiatrist. Not to mention...I needed a professional to safely get me off Klonopin. I was walking in circles around my apartment most of the time three days straight. I also had a lot of trouble getting sleep, and suffered some insomnia during the work year. I called on the phone a psychiatrist that I had seen maybe twice in person....and I told her I am having an insomnia episode.....and she said maybe you should go to a hospital now. "Not sleeping is very bad" she said. Especially bad when your in "DP land". Ironically she advised me to take the Klonopin dose before bed time to save me...and I fell asleep with that advice, but still she said this medicine is not going to be right for me, and it was now time to make an appointment with somebody to get started on new meds. Now that I look back on it...maybe I should have went to the hospital to get me off Klonopin. There is no shame in that. If this happened today...I would gladly go to the hospital for help. But back then I was stubborn and distorted. Now that I am clear headed and do not have DP at all, I take this opportunity to give HOPE and ANSWERS to people who are in the middle of the distortion mindset and can't make the right decisions for themselves, just like when I was distorted. Getting a brand new phsychiatrist was the best decision of my life....because my mistake of trying to be my own doctor...left me paranoid, addicted to Klonopin, and I even had that small insomnia episode for a while...I did this all while I was working full time. I think I was talking to strangers in the street, girls, you name it...and felt so dreamy that I had less fear to socialize actually...weird huh? I was even given a phone number by a girl in the street (I didn't ask for it), anyway I threw that away. And remember....at work I am being this professional teacher doing the best I can to show everybody I am in control of the days proceedings. Meanwhile I am a physical education teacher, and health teacher....so I knew when something was seriously fucked up with my body and mind. I was shaking in the bathroom one day...looking in the mirror, holding myself up on the sink...saying ..."don't die...don't die....don't give up". I was going to make it! So then eventually I was referred to a good psychiatrist by a friend who was diagnosed with psychosis who used this psychiatrist his whole life. The first thing the psychiatrist did was give me surveys and evaluated me for depression and anxiety. I had horrible extreme results....but guess what....the first thing he said is your not psychotic. But he said I am very depressed and have OCD. I said what about my depersonalization or derealization? He said that is just a symptom from anxiety. This whole existential head fuck was from anxiety....yep. And depression...and deep thinking and obsessive thoughts of course. Then he said .... if I don't start his new medicine right away, then I will remain in this chemically depressed state. So even though I did not trust him, doctors, therapists, or any medication for this problem....because I like natural things...I still submitted to him at this point and trusted his 30 years of experience and great internet reviews. Hey...I already felt so helpless....I had nothing to lose...so I just listened to his directions. He figured out my brain, and what medication I needed in minutes. And it worked. Zoloft for depression and OCD, and Zyprexa for anxiety and it takes care of delusions actually. I obviously had dellusions, and DP was one big one. Zoloft takes 3 weeks...and of course it made me feel spaced out at first....but I trusted the doctor when he said my brain and body will adjust in 3 weeks. I called the doctor and said but I feel kind of spaced out, or my vision was a little off, or I was a little light headed, but he reassured me and...he kept telling me I will be fine soon, and I will adjust. So even though I wanted to stop taking it....I trusted him. And then....in 3 weeks...boom...I started feeling different. Better. First thing I said to my mother on the phone was....man was I fucked up this past year. I was really sick...I was acting crazy. Boy was I sick. She laughed because of the way I said it. So now I knew my sense of humor was coming back also. Good sign. It was the first good sign for me that my mind and thoughts were turning around realizing how crazy and useless my thoughts were. I said to myself...I'm going to stop thinking too hard. The medicine was good, but the doctor had to keep raising it for me until I was on the right dose, because I was still breaking down here and there. At one point he even said....want to try the mental hospital? I said no...I am going to be fine. Actually the first night that I took the Zyprexa...I fell right to sleep. It over-rided the Klonpin and took right over and got me off Klonopin fast. Zyprexa is very strong and works right away... it does not take 3 weeks. Usually its the depression med that takes 3 weeks, because your building up levels including seratonin (feel good chemicals). Anyway....a couple of months passed...and I was doing alright...but very tired from these very high doses of meds. Then the doctor said....oh...it's time to start lowering this very high dose that my nervous system actually needed from being so amped up! (that he was even amazed that I was able to handle without getting tired at first)...and then he got me off it little by little...until I was just taking Zoloft. I was pretty stable. And then the doctor started doing the same thing with the Zoloft getting me off the max possible dose that I was actually on little by little. Then about a year and a half later after all the therapy and meds ... I was......CURED. I was just ready to move on now. I still go to couples therapy sometimes for relationship stuff with my wife. That's about it. Just something I got comfortable with. I talk about regular things now....I'm usually happy. I hardly talk about this episode anymore. I'm back to having lots of fun...and yeah music too. I finished making an entire music video recently. I'm rapping in it. Actually I made the beat for it of course. I'm getting really good feedback, people are actually into my shit. Lol. I mention the phase sometimes in therapy...but it becomes a thing of the past. Kind of putting it behind me for good. Accept here....here I want to help people and give people HOPE. and ANSWERS of course. So I will only go deeper into details for all of you. I have some crazy crazy stories about my episodes with depersonalization. But they are funny to me also....because of my sense of humor. Now here is another great tip.....start laughing at yourself and your thoughts or even scream at them to shut the fuck up! This will help....if you do it in a funny way. It's more fun than reacting in pain all the time. Have more fun. It is all part of RECOVERY. Anyway back to the part of the story with Zoloft....the doctor started lowering my Zoloft as well and tapered me off to nothing eventually because I was getting better and better. So all this was a process until I felt like a new person. Basically...the meds....is a vacation for your mind...and then you return peacefully if you get the right meds and doctor. Me personally....I am feeling even better without the meds now....but I still needed that "vacation" for my mind. Nowadays, If I get an irrational thought here and there, I just dismiss it. It's easier...than fighting and fighting my own mind like I used to do. Some people do need to stay on whatever meds are working for them. People should never stop taking them without the exact directions of a pshychiatrist because that is very dangerous for the mind and body. Must taper off them slowly with the psychiarist's directions. Or sometimes they just stay on a lower dose. It all depends. Just find and trust a good psychiatrist. Trust please.  And please try to laugh...and enjoy the fact that this could all be a thing of the passed already. Trust me, it all ended for me. You will be in your mind where it is ever so peaceful and serene, where the sunshine is bright and the sky is a beautiful blue. It will end for you. DP free you will be. You will be cured.  CURED.


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## EmmaBo (Aug 31, 2016)

John77: you are amazing and your YouTube videos are IT.


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## anniephantom (Jan 17, 2018)

Thank you.


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