# What keeps you going?



## dakotajo (Aug 10, 2004)

Im curious here what keeps people going? What drives you and keeps you motivated? Like others here, I get by from day to day thinking one day this will be completely over and I will get my normal life back. Watching symptoms disappear has also been a great motivator.

I really dont know what kept me going in the early days. I was just an absolute nightmare of physical and mental pain. The suffering was so severe and no matter how much I tried to convince myself it would get better soon, I knew down deep there was no end in sight. I was too sick to do anything to try to distract myself so I just had to take it every minute of every day. I had nothing to cling to except my family to keep me going. I give them credit and that guy who took the worst of it for me.

Ive never considered myself a strong person, but I guess Ive suprised myself. My recovery(80-85%..lol) has been very costly but its also been a learning experience. Its taught me to never take things for granted and live my life, day by day and to not worry about the future.

Joe


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## JAG (Aug 31, 2004)

sex (joking, of course)


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## dreamcatcher (Sep 23, 2004)

my kids are keeping me going....i have to be strong for them....i have had some really dark days, days where i think i cant take any more but i am still here, grateful to this site and my family for all the support and really praying that there is a light and that i will see it soon


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## falling_free (Nov 3, 2004)

I find concentrating on what I can achieve in my future in regards to educationtial , professional and personal success keeps me hopeful about getting better and healing inside. Not concentrating on the past and instead focusing my mind on the future.


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## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

when in full on dp the reason i kept my body alive was because i believed that if i didnt my 'self' would stay in that state forever. i couldn't take it moment by moment either. catch22.
in varying states of dp/dr other than that i couldn't stand the thought of hurting my mum and family. suicide is a terrible kind of grief for people to handle.
on a more positive note i have found the small, simple things in life get me through. i got some winter pansies today. i like feeding the birds in the winter. building a log fire's good. misty mornings. waking up to snow and getting a day off work. i love the changing seasons. 
saying something nice to someone who needs it.
loving...
being financially independant
getting a bargain in the sales
reading
dancing


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## Guest (Nov 7, 2004)

Stubborness
Hope
Music
Humor
And a little bit of trust it will get better.


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## gimpy34 (Aug 10, 2004)

hope
family and friends


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Partying and pills..

Doing daring things...like speaking my mind to somebody, walking around in public with no underwear on and smirking about it, wearing something revealing or unique or clashing or daring, painting my nails weird colors or getting bored and brushing nail polish all over my whole hand (I wash it off though)...posting my deepest darkest secrets for all to see on my online blog...taking some kind of class or lesson (acting, dance, etc) that I always secretly wanted to do but pretended that I didn't really want to

Um...also, recently I sang in public at a booth at a cosmetology students' convention. I got free Bed Head products among other things, offers from my old acting teacher to sing at some school events, and oh yeah the applause of about 30 people. That was cool. I never would have done that had I not experienced hell.

And other fun stuff


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

Acting just plain psycho and not caring what people think...calling up a manager to cuss out a rude employee after I leave the store (NO ONE talks to me like that!)...wrestling with my brothers...fighting with them (sometimes I have to walk through the house with a blunt object like a hammer, you know just in case they mess with me), smoking in my dad's house...


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

That's the thing. Recovery can actually be fun. Do crazy things. It helps. You dont' have to figure out an answer...just go crazy and do everything you always thought you couldn't do!


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## JasonFar (Aug 13, 2004)

> Stubborness
> Hope
> Music
> Humor
> And a little bit of trust it will get better.


Wonderfully put, Wendy. Ditto to that.


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## maria (Oct 28, 2004)

well, I actually don't have drive or motivation. I can't stop thinking that "we are all going to die one day, so what's the point. My grandparents are dead, Kurt Cobain is dead, the dinosaurs are dead...why bother." Or as mr. Shakespeare more eloquently puts it "Life, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". So yeah, it sounds like apart from dr I'm still a bit depressed too. I guess I'm just waiting for something to capture my interest and make me motivated again. But at least I've realized I don't want to be dead either, so that's what keeps me alive. And good luck too, of course.


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## Guest (Nov 7, 2004)

playin' my music LOUD!!!!! Thinkin' that it can't get any worse.... tryin to do stuff with a routine and just keep goin'....... my mum keeps me going too....she's a single parent and needs me


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## shadowness (Sep 12, 2004)

i know that one day i will be ok again...normal...but even though i am scared of feeling like myself again...it helps.

family and friends also keep me going...i want to be someone who can support and help them...


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## Guest (Nov 7, 2004)

I know everyone will be expecting some lovely, hopeful and optimistic answer from me.

But truthfully, the ONLY thing that kept me going was that I was petrifed of the idea of death.

I had no choice.

Petrified of living another day, but equally petrified of dying and potentially finding an even more horrific and eternal experience of isolation and madness.

I kept going for no other reason.

A cheerful attitude is not necessary. Just keep breathing.

Peace,
Janine


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## Inflammed (Aug 10, 2004)

Love & Music


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## Guest (Nov 8, 2004)

music, money, females, & the hope that i will feel better some day.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

^ no bitches and hos?


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## Guest (Nov 8, 2004)

na i don't like bitches or ho's

my friend messes with both & i see how they are..... its easy sex maybe, but its stress in the end.


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## Kelson12 (Aug 10, 2004)

My family...my girl...watching basketball and football...and rap music...and most importantly the fact that God is looking out for me and has a reason for us all!


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## Dreamer (Aug 9, 2004)

Inflammed said:


> Love & Music


... and Wendy's list....



> Stubborness
> Hope
> Music
> Humor
> And a little bit of trust it will get better


.... and pdr.....I think....


> when in full on dp the reason i kept my body alive was because i believed that if i didnt my 'self' would stay in that state forever. i couldn't take it moment by moment either. catch22.


...and Janine said...



> A cheerful attitude is not necessary. Just keep breathing


This reminds me of a quotation from one of my favorite books
how I feel many, many days.... there is no choice but to plod along:

*"It was all nonsense, as they both knew. In reality, there was no escape. Even the one plan that was practicable, suicide, they had no intention of carrying out. To hang on from day to day and from week to week, spinning out a present that had no future, seemed an unconquerable instinct, just as one's lungs will always draw the next breath so long as there is air available."

George Orwell - 1984*

L,
D
One day at a time.


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## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

One day at a time- and that is all it is...days...so have a good day if you can...don't worry about having a million good days...just one good day...tomorrow you will worry about tomorrow's goodness...for today, do nothing but make today good


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

1)animalistic survival instinct
2)living for others
3)hope?


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

FEAR. I'm scared the afterlife will be worse than this.


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## Snowy (Aug 10, 2004)

God, my son, my family,hope, chocolate


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2004)

What has kept me going? Newton's first law explains it. Inertia. I was up and moving one day when it hit me. I spun out of control for a few decades, but have yet to come to a complete rest. Call it momentum.
Glad to hear DJ is 80-85%. I remember when he was 35 on a good day.


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