# What's wrong with me?



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

Hello all
First of all,i apologizefor any grammar or vocabulary mistake that im probably going to make(im neither from england not from the USA-im from Greece).
I started feeling strange on the february of 2009.I cant remember how it started-hell im not even sure if i ''got'' this feeling awake.
However,the first days i felt numb and i thought i might felt this way because of being tired.After a while,i noticed that i was not tired ,but stil numb.The next weeks i dont remember how i exactly felt but i was always like ''wtf?do i still have this feeling''?I thought it was because of the excessive exposure to videogames(i was on my pc for like 6 hours per day and seldon did i hang out-i have never been a social person).So,i stopped playing for almost one month(the pc was completely turned off),but because of not noticing any difference,i just started to playing again.
From the beggining of feeling like that ,i couldnt describe my feeling!I thought i was the only person in the world that felt that way and i never searched for answers.When i ,ehmm... thought of what i was feeling i concluded that i felt ''away'' from reality and from myself,like being in some kind of a dream.I sometimes dont feel like a human and dont understand a human is(ok im nuts)!!!I couldnt recognize my schoolmates,my friends,hell, even my parents and myself!So i told my mom that i felt detached from the world and myself and i made her sad and after a while i told my omoiotherapist,who was a psychologist too.I told him that i felt detached from thr real world and myself and he was like ''what?But you can see me right?im here.)I told him that i didnt understand my feeling and he gave me some pills that absolutely no effect!
Also ,im feeling that im not me,like when i speak dont ever feel that it was me i just know!Also,my action dont feel like they are my own,i feel like that erything is not real!
So,the last months i was trying not to think of it.It was like i was trying to accept it.But it wouldnt go away.I knew it was ALWAYS(!!!) there but i was trying not to think of it.So ,two months ago,i said enough! and i searched on the internet and i found out that there was a symptom called ''depersonalization''.I was happy to think that i had at last found out what was wrong with me because the symptoms of dp were almost all of them similar to me,but what i was not sure of was that i read that people have it because of marijuana and drugs.But i never taken any drugs.So,i asked my mom to take me to a psychologist and told her how i felt like leaving in a dream,feeling numb etc(i had already told her before that i was feeling detached from myself and reality but she thought it got away after some months).When i got to the psychologist,i talked about what im feeling was dp,but she told me that the people who have dp cant even communicate with the others instead of me,but i think he was wrong coz i ve read some posts and you guys seem pretty normal(except from feeling numb etc).
Also,from the first days i ve been feeling like that ive been ''seeing'' some dots,green and black ones,tons of them and always and i think that i have eye floaters that ive heard theyre a symptop of dp.
Anyway,can anyone tell me whats wrong with me?Id really appreciate it.
Thnx in advance for reading my huge post!


----------



## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

*she told me that the people who have dp cant even communicate with the others instead of me*

Never heard of DP meaning this. Sounds like she is taking about being catatonic.

*pills that absolutely no effect*

What are the pills?

*from the first days i ve been feeling like that ive been ''seeing'' some dots,green and black ones,tons of them*

Lots of people here have visual symptoms. So you have been seeing various dots for 2 years now? Do they move around? Are they the same in both eyes - for example, see a green dot in same position in left and in right eye?

Do you have other visual symptoms? I notice you say everything seems unreal or in a dream. If you close your eyes and talk to someone, do you feel better (more real)?

Welcome to the site. There is helpful information to be found


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

Visual Dude said:


> *she told me that the people who have dp cant even communicate with the others instead of me*
> 
> Never heard of DP meaning this. Sounds like she is taking about being catatonic.
> 
> ...


i dont know what kind of pills i was taking.

yes these dots and green lights move always around.They are in both eyes and i can clearly seem them whenever i close my eyes and there are...thousands of them.
No,my vision has always been perfect.

And no,undfortunately i dont feel better whenever i close my eyes.
Also i forgot to mention that for the past 7 months,ive been feeling always tired,no matter how much i sleep


----------



## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

stevengr said:


> i dont know what kind of pills i was taking.
> 
> yes these dots and green lights move always around.They are in both eyes and i can clearly seem them whenever i close my eyes and there are...thousands of them.
> No,my vision has always been perfect.
> ...


I get exactly the same thing. Ive always had it even before dp/dr but it has got worse lately. They are always there even when i close my eyes. It sucks.


----------



## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

*yes these dots and green lights move always around.They are in both eyes and i can clearly seem them whenever i close my eyes and there are...thousands of them.*

Well if you see them when your eyes are closed it isn't floaters.

And if you see thousands of them, then it would be hard to tell if the dots are identical in each eye. If a dot is identical then it can't be the retina. If they are different dots then it is probably in the retina. I'd think they are a 'red herring' if it didn't start with your DP.

We need an eye doctor/student to give us some input here. Seems like a little excitement in the retina. Perhaps something to increase GABA would be a useful test (quiet things down). As you are always feeling tired, if GABA helps then we know that the brain is on overdrive.

Fluke,

Are you taking any meds right now?


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

Visual Dude said:


> *yes these dots and green lights move always around.They are in both eyes and i can clearly seem them whenever i close my eyes and there are...thousands of them.*
> 
> Well if you see them when your eyes are closed it isn't floaters.
> 
> ...


they are always there not matter if my eyes are closed or not and i always see them so they are obviously indentical.


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

i forgot to mention that ive been taking some vitamins for 3 months almost daily but i dont feel any difference.Im always tired,feeling like im not me etc...


----------



## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Sounds a bit like this thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed-eye_hallucination or maybe this one- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Form_constant?


----------



## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

Visual Dude said:


> *yes these dots and green lights move always around.They are in both eyes and i can clearly seem them whenever i close my eyes and there are...thousands of them.*
> 
> Well if you see them when your eyes are closed it isn't floaters.
> 
> ...


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

sorry for the double post :/


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

Thnx a lot








i may suffer from this ''closed-eye hallucination symptom coz i see these dots especially when my eyes are closed and when i see dark colour.But i dont think ive never experienced a halluciation
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/Closed-eye-visualization.gif this moves the way that my green lights and dots move.Do u think that it has something to do with my crazy symptoms?I also feel like ive completely lost the awareness,conciousness and control of myself.I dont hear any ''noises'' though or it's probably just the name of the symptom


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

soooo
whats going on?About this visual problem;
i ve noticed that when i concentrate on an object,i can see more of these lights or whatever the hell they are and everything around me is becoming darker .Also, when im in a very dark and i concentrate on a object i cannot see almost anything.wtf?

Also,i feel like im not alive and that im not even a human!I just dont know it.Whenever i talk,i dont feel like i talk.When i do something in general ,i dont feel like im doing it!Im typing at the moment but i dont feel like i am!WTF is going on???i need some help!
How could this happen to me?Ok thats a classic question i know.But wtf?Ive always been a good man and then im supposed to believe in God and that he help us.He doesnt care what happens anymore or he just never excisted.Yes,ive lost my faith too(i used to be much of a believer).


----------



## stevengr (Jan 17, 2011)

also ive been thinking some weird thoughts like; do humans have a soul?what if they dont?and what is it?why do i care about other human beings?what kind of beings are they?
i know u know im not going mad,but could anyone plz answer these questions for me?I feel sooo detached from everything that ive almost forgotten what my life was life before i got into this hell


----------

