# How bad can DR get? A better understanding of my symptoms...



## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

Pleanty of you have seen my posts and are probably sick of my by now. I will explain what my symptoms are and then I need to know if anyone can relate and if recovery or relief is possible even in the most severe of cases like I have right now.

My symptoms are the following:
I can barely walk outside, it feels like my senses are stuck and I don't know where I am or where I'm going, it feels like I'm blind.

I still feel like " I'm not here." no matter where I am or what I'm doing, it does not feel real to me. For instance, when I'm washing the dishes, I know I'm washing them but something ia off and my brain is telling me that it's not real, certain actions don't feel real while I do them. I feel a total disconnection from everything.

Trying to get around my house, or room, is hard to do , the whole navigation part of getting from one place to another is difficult. Not aure if that makes any sense. Crossing the street, something as simple as that is very hard.

I pretty much feel like my brain is completely stripped of feeling reality and my surroundings. It's pretty much left me feeling disabled.

Please tell me if you know of or if you know anyone that can get better from this horrifying and severe level of DR. I've never experienced DP before, DR is the only symptom. My next step is going to be getting a cat scan, because it is very hard to imagine that DR can damage you this badly or am I wrong? I pretty much feel like I'm a vegetable.

Most importantly, is it possible to get better even when DR is this bad? It feels like there's no way out.







also note that I've only had this for 6 months. 
My sleep is decent, I'm eating regularly, so thats good.

I am not at a functioning state at all right now, cannot concentrate on anything because everything feels so off, my mind won't connect with anything. I feel so trapped.

I don't want to continue rambling about this all the time but at this point I desperately need help. I feel like I'm going to wake up one day and not be able to even stand up. I want to get better more than anything but my state of mind is fucked right now.

I feel like the only thing I can do is exist.

Does anybody have any suggestions? Im at a very bad state right now.

Please please please help.









Thank you.

Melissa


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Yes my dr was just as bad as yours and yes you can recover. I have and so can you. BTW, there was a point at which my dr was so bad that I couldn't talk. My ex husband took me to my dr office and I laid on the table staring at the ceiling unable to do more than nod for the doctor. She sent me to the emergency room because she was afraid I had a brain tumor. They did a cat scan and tested my blood for 30 different conditions that could cause dp symptoms. Everything came back completely normal.


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## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

Thank you Sarah.









I'm just wondering if maybe my meds could be making me feel worse too...









Can my brain ever get back to how it was before?


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## Taylor (Nov 5, 2010)

Hi Melissa, i can't help you but i can totally relate to how you're feeling. I too am really suffering at the moment, feel as if i'm on the verge of losing my mind any second. I now can't even work or even go out the door it's that bad. I feel as if i'm turning into a recluse cos of this illness. I feel so unreal, i'm absolutely terrified. The only relief i get is when sleeping, i feel like going to the hospital and asking them to put me in a coma just so i can get some respite from this living hell. How do people get cured me this, do they actually get cured??


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## BusyBee (Aug 7, 2010)

Yes. My DR was really bad at first, then the DP kind of took over and I felt as though I was trapped inside my own body and that I didnt exist. Very fraustrating trying to explain that to your boss when you cant go to work.

I can remember looking at my hands, and I brought them close, then far, then opened my eyes as wide as I could in some vein attempt to make them 'real'. Horrid. I jumped when I looked in the mirror for some reason. Wasnt me.

Walking around was like beeing in a daze, like you say, you KNOW youre doing it but feels like your somewhere else.. no where else. Feel like you will collapse and everyone is noticing how you cant walk straight. Think about informing checkout girl that you may need a paramedic any moment soon but you always make it out consious.. just.

It gets better. Took me MONTHS, nearly a year to get to the stage where I could TRULY BELIEVE that I existed. I cant say I feel great. But im ill now, not non-existant. World still looks odd. Somtimes I look at the world, and its as iff my eyes see but I am blind. Like the brain is not processing what Im seeing. But yet I can describe, 'A tree.. green grass..' so obviously it is. Just extreme detachment. We all recover at our own rates. Hang in there


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## BusyBee (Aug 7, 2010)

Also, I never used meds. Didnt wana mess with them nor did my doctor, however they work for some people so I cant poo poo it, but perhaps you may want to discuss this.

I can remember putting up some flat packed furniture and I remember thinking how difficult it was because I couldnt get close to it, and therefore found it so hard to concentrate. I know where youre coming from. Trust me that eases. Here are the things Ive tried:

Homeopathy (Need to be tailored to your body type eg. Fair or dark, likes and dislikes etc as well as your condition)
Co enzyme Q10
Vitamin tablets
Sleep
Light excersise (nasty but im sure it helps)
Self pampering, nice bath etc. (Got me in touch with me: treat yourself to some new makeup and if you organise to see a trusted friend, spend time in the mirror doing your makeup.. that helped me to being to recognise that person again!)
Not much else really.. I hope this helps you.


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## resinoptes (Jan 15, 2011)

BusyBee said:


> Yes. My DR was really bad at first, then the DP kind of took over and I felt as though I was trapped inside my own body and that I didnt exist. Very fraustrating trying to explain that to your boss when you cant go to work.
> 
> I can remember looking at my hands, and I brought them close, then far, then opened my eyes as wide as I could in some vein attempt to make them 'real'. Horrid. I jumped when I looked in the mirror for some reason. Wasnt me.
> 
> ...


I personally find dr easier to deal with than dp
Good luck Melissa
Are you on lots of benzos? If so maybe tapering a bit would help in the long run
The same, I can't help but I can empathize, I've been there too


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Hey Melissa, sorry to hear things are so awful. Just so you know I experience it like you, it's fucking hell. It really does feel impossible, however like I've said before I've seen people more messed up than myself and more messed up than you get fully better. In the meantime feel free to rant all you want. This is the place to get it out. Hope things improve for you.


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## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

surfingisfun001 said:


> Hey Melissa, sorry to hear things are so awful. Just so you know I experience it like you, it's fucking hell. It really does feel impossible, however like I've said before I've seen people more messed up than myself and more messed up than you get fully better. In the meantime feel free to rant all you want. This is the place to get it out. Hope things improve for you.


How do you cope? :/


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Melissa_Z said:


> How do you cope? :/


I don't, I endure.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Yes, people get completely better. I've mentioned before that I know a lady from my church who had dp and has completely recovered and returned back to normal. She described having pretty severe dp too. She said that it was once at a point where the only thing she could do in one day was to organize a drawer. Also that when she spoke it felt like she was speaking some other language. She also said that she felt like she was living in a cartoon land. So, definitely dp/dr and she is fully recovered. She no has a job, kids, a fiance', volunteers at church, attends church twice a week, has an amazing happy life.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

ustabetinyfairypeople said:


> Yes, people get completely better. I've mentioned before that I know a lady from my church who had dp and has completely recovered and returned back to normal. She described having pretty severe dp too. She said that it was once at a point where the only thing she could do in one day was to organize a drawer. Also that when she spoke it felt like she was speaking some other language. She also said that she felt like she was living in a cartoon land. So, definitely dp/dr and she is fully recovered. She no has a job, kids, a fiance', volunteers at church, attends church twice a week, has an amazing happy life.


That's awesome.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Melissa_Z said:


> Pleanty of you have seen my posts and are probably sick of my by now. I will explain what my symptoms are and then I need to know if anyone can relate and if recovery or relief is possible even in the most severe of cases like I have right now.
> 
> My symptoms are the following:
> I can barely walk outside, it feels like my senses are stuck and I don't know where I am or where I'm going, it feels like I'm blind.
> ...


Hey Melissa, to be honest I wish I could provide you some support but I can't, and you know why? Because I can relate 100% to everything you post on this forum, except for the part of posting (I try to stay away from the forums now when I'm in panic) , but yeah I saw this post of yours now and I thought "Wow, her symptoms are just the same as mine, I feel like she's the only person I can really relate to" , even the food/sleep part, I eat pretty well and my sleep's decent, but yeah I'd like to let everyone know that we're probably going trough the worst part of all this (apart from the existential thinking, which IMO is the worst) , if you people have any tips on how to get rid of this please post them here, anything


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## Melissa_Z (Sep 29, 2010)

Bump.


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## flat (Jun 18, 2006)

Yes it definitely could be related to your meds. Some people get really weird side effects. Ask your doc if you can slowly ween yourself off of them for a few days or maybe skip a day to see how you feel. It's good that you are getting a cat scan. Ask for some blood tests too.


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## staples (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm at a bad stage in life now too. Doctor changed my meds up and I weaned off Zoloft because it was inducing derealization and worsening my anxiety symptoms. I'm trying Luvox CR, but the wait is a pain in the ass to say the least. I have really bad Derealization and that's my main hassle.

Stay Strong


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## nabber (Feb 13, 2009)

When I first did acid I came down and that was it. I remember I only did acid on the weekends (in the beginning) and after about a month I remember telling my buddy 'it's weird i feel like i'm kind of tripping all the time' and he agreed with me. The more acid I took I noticed it got slightly worse, but I never thought it would last long. So at that point I already had dp/dr it just wasn't severe.

My last trip was the one that really got me, full trauma, all of that.. I went to sleep woke up and I was still in full blown trip mode. I guess that's why they call
it perma fried.

So yea in my case it got worse, then overboard. Sixeteen years later here I am, but after meds life is more managable.


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## staples (Apr 1, 2009)

nabber said:


> When I first did acid I came down and that was it. I remember I only did acid on the weekends (in the beginning) and after about a month I remember telling my buddy 'it's weird i feel like i'm kind of tripping all the time' and he agreed with me. The more acid I took I noticed it got slightly worse, but I never thought it would last long. So at that point I already had dp/dr it just wasn't severe.
> 
> My last trip was the one that really got me, full trauma, all of that.. I went to sleep woke up and I was still in full blown trip mode. I guess that's why they call
> it perma fried.
> ...


What meds are you currently on?


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## nabber (Feb 13, 2009)

Lamictal 200mg/day celexa 40mg/day Klonopin 1mg/day , and one other med that isn't being used to treat dp/dr


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## fastone2368 (Jan 15, 2011)

Melissa_Z said:


> Pleanty of you have seen my posts and are probably sick of my by now. I will explain what my symptoms are and then I need to know if anyone can relate and if recovery or relief is possible even in the most severe of cases like I have right now.
> 
> My symptoms are the following:
> I can barely walk outside, it feels like my senses are stuck and I don't know where I am or where I'm going, it feels like I'm blind.
> ...


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## fastone2368 (Jan 15, 2011)

hi, I have been going through that since nov 2008. I have had dp and dr really badly but it just started with extreme derealiazation for the first 2 years now the DR has not fully went away but things like real again and DP is really bad now. trust me I feel your pain 100%.. you should take a look at the video on my profile. thanks and if you wanna message me I'll be glad to talk.


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## stefisings (Mar 4, 2011)

Melissa_Z said:


> Pleanty of you have seen my posts and are probably sick of my by now. I will explain what my symptoms are and then I need to know if anyone can relate and if recovery or relief is possible even in the most severe of cases like I have right now.
> 
> My symptoms are the following:
> I can barely walk outside, it feels like my senses are stuck and I don't know where I am or where I'm going, it feels like I'm blind.
> ...


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## stefisings (Mar 4, 2011)

Hey Melissa,
I've been battling this for years and am writing this now as I am in the middle of a bad and stressful situation. However, I know that when I do what I'm supposed to do...1. Lose all fear of the symptoms 2. accept them for awhile as an annoyance 3. Let some time pass without putting a time limit or any pressure on myself....If I do all this even at it's worst it goes...always...Sometime it is difficult to muster up the patience to do all of that although it sound so simple...That is where recovery lies...And it is a fact that it doesn't matter to what degree or how long you have suffered your symptoms...You can completely get control of this!

Good Luck!

Contact me if you need to talk~!


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