# Reaching a Realization



## julie13 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hey everyone,

I had a strange but delightful experience today that I thought I would share. As I was talking with my psychologist, I was trying to explain to her what I was going through with my depersonalization. I kept telling her, "I just feel like I'm not really inside of me, like I'm looking at me."
And she said, "Like your soul is separate from your body?" I said yes, exactly. She looked right at me, and said, "Why does that scare you??"
I didnt have an answer. i said I didnt know. She said, most people DO believe that the soul is a separate entity. She said that our bodies are only capsules for our souls. Obviously this is not a new idea, philosophers and even anyone semi religious believes this...but today, I UNDERSTOOD it. And you know what happened??? It didn't SCARE me anymore. It made me Happy to know that I have a soul, I am real, and I could FEEL my soul. I understood why when a mother could be in a different state, and have her son die in a car accident, that mother would FEEL that something was off, that something bad happened. That is why when you meet an attractive person, and you find out they are cruel or heartless, they become completely unattractive to you. It is about the INSIDE of us all, not what is on the outside. Ive never realized this before and then do you know what happened for the rest of the day??? I felt COMPLETELY CONNECTED to people for the first time in a long time. I didnt have the nagging feeling that none of this is real, instead i KNEW it was real. Maybe this thing we all have is a gift, maybe it is our way of knowing that our souls are forever, and we can take solace in that, because we know that God forbid something happens to our bodies, our souls will still live, and still love. sorry if im getting way too philosophical. Im not saying that i want to leave this body, in fact, i think we should enjoy all the time we have in it. after all, it still feels great to eat a big meal, sleep in, go jetskiing, make love, or whatever you like to do. Im going to enjoy all i can, and i hope this helps some of you, I sure feel a lot better now that Im not scared of this anymore.


----------



## klt123 (Jun 15, 2005)

good for you Julie. Hope to hear you continuing in your progress
-klt123


----------



## Scattered (Mar 8, 2005)

I wish I could believe that. But I'm not going to be the grouchy bastard I normally am. I really am happy for you. Its nice to see every now and then that people are able to get out of a rut and feel good.


----------



## lemontea (Aug 8, 2005)

It's always good to know that there are people who are making progress...

Thanks for sharing, Julie, and good luck.


----------



## LISA NICHOLS (Sep 3, 2005)

yeah i too understand how you felt i too panicked about that im pleased to hear just that short time with a stranger completly turned things around its mad isnt it... i was thinking about what you said and its bought me a bit of comfort too thanks!!!
i hope you continue to get stronger and have a very long healthy and happy life xx


----------



## julie13 (Oct 6, 2005)

You guys are sweet!! Its still hard for me sometimes, especially when i have episodes of dr (which for me is a lot scarier than dp) but i just have to keep telling myself that i wasnt like this forever, and maybe one day ill be completely better. i still cry sometimes on the bathroom floor, and i still worry about stupid things, and If it werent for everyone here, i dont know if i couldve made it through some nights. lets continue to support each other, and maybe we can all lift each other out of this rut. 
Peace-


----------



## LISA NICHOLS (Sep 3, 2005)

hi julie yeah just this evening i too was in tears i had a great weekend and payed for it big time with dp/dr and panic attacks

it really gets me down sometimes too!!!!


----------



## M A R S (Jun 24, 2005)

i wish i could have this.. Im just sitting im my bed freaking out that things are not real. My cat is not real, my body feels unreal. I pray i can be able to relax.


----------



## LISA NICHOLS (Sep 3, 2005)

hi space flex dont let it freak you out i too have that feeling you just keep telling yourself your ok its just a silly attack and you will get through it. the main thing you need to do is try to take your mind of it trust me it does work!!!!


----------



## timdha (Jun 21, 2006)

julie13 said:


> And she said, "Like your soul is separate from your body?" I said yes, exactly. She looked right at me, and said, "Why does that scare you??"


Thanks for sharing! I've been following a very similar path myself - trying to convince myself that feeling this way is just fine, because of the same reasons you've mentioned. At times, I succeed, and at times I don't. But I'm glad you posted this - it shows me, and hopefully many others here, that a part of dp/dr is being scared of it, and conquering that part is half the battle.

Good luck, and here's to wishing you continue to feel great!


----------

