# Is it normal not to remember much after DP?



## BenElger (Feb 8, 2012)

Hello everybody, 
I was just wondering if anyone has felt this way after coming out of dp? I can't really remember what happened this past year, everything is just one big blur, I can only remember the way I felt. Kind of like I blacked out drunk and woke up and can only remember the embarrassing bits e.g me having panic attacks and crying and stuff. This makes me feel kind of uneasy and a bit anxious, it makes me feel pretty self conscious as people probably think I am crazy. I'm pretty worried about how people view me now. Is this anxieties way of trying to keep me trapped in it's cycle? If anyone has felt this way let me know or you can just tell me to fuck off and move on!

Thank You


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Elger said:


> Hello everybody,
> I was just wondering if anyone has felt this way after coming out of dp? I can't really remember what happened this past year, everything is just one big blur, I can only remember the way I felt. Kind of like I blacked out drunk and woke up and can only remember the embarrassing bits e.g me having panic attacks and crying and stuff. This makes me feel kind of uneasy and a bit anxious, it makes me feel pretty self conscious as people probably think I am crazy. I'm pretty worried about how people view me now. Is this anxieties way of trying to keep me trapped in it's cycle? If anyone has felt this way let me know or you can just tell me to fuck off and move on!
> 
> Thank You


Many people who've recovered say that they barely remember anything from when they had DPD, so I guess it is normal, actually that's what keeps my hope alive, the fact that I'll return to normal someday and all of this will seem like a phase where I was just asleep


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

Elger said:


> Hello everybody,
> I was just wondering if anyone has felt this way after coming out of dp? I can't really remember what happened this past year, everything is just one big blur, I can only remember the way I felt. Kind of like I blacked out drunk and woke up and can only remember the embarrassing bits e.g me having panic attacks and crying and stuff. This makes me feel kind of uneasy and a bit anxious, it makes me feel pretty self conscious as people probably think I am crazy. I'm pretty worried about how people view me now. Is this anxieties way of trying to keep me trapped in it's cycle? If anyone has felt this way let me know or you can just tell me to fuck off and move on!
> 
> Thank You


Yes, this is exactly what happened when I recovered. When I was in dp, I couldn't remember my life before dp and then when it went away, it reverse, I could remember my life before dp but not what happened while I had dp. It felt just as you describe, like everything retreated in a vague black cloud.


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## Jamby (Jun 17, 2012)

Dp seriously effects memory. That is one of the symptoms that really drives me crazy. Memories are tied to emotion and if you are experiencing life with numbness and lack of emotion it is very difficult to recall what you have experienced in the past in a meaningful way. I really hate it.


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