# Am I losing my sanity?



## mbdfan (Jul 31, 2018)

I started experiencing derealization about 3 1/2 months ago. I believe it was brought on by quitting my antidepressants of 15 years cold turkey. In the time since Ive had varying degrees of experiencing the symptoms of derealization but I started experiencing something about 3 days ago that I'm unsure is a symptom of derealization and has me questioning my sanity. I suddenly started recalling random dreams and memories from years ago, which occasionally happens except ever since this happened a few nights ago it's like I can't shut it off, my mind keeps randomly recalling memories and dreams of years gone by, like unless I'm heavily distracting myself it seems to constantly happen. It's the worst first thing in the morning and late at night and I experience it more it seems if I'm in a dark room. Has anyone else experienced this?


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

Yeah, mine does that too. In fact, it's probably one of my most prominent and frustrating symptoms. Though I've always had that issue to some degree, so for a good portion of my life I just assumed it was normal.


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## Jackk11 (May 9, 2018)

I wasn’t getting the this before DP. I was going through a stressful period but was eager for summer vacations and I kept getting random flashbacks of days from years past and then a few days later I woke up and my emotions and mind were turned way down.


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

That's interesting. So you say your "mind" is turned way down? Is that similar to what people her refer to as "blank mind"?

I feel the opposite...my "mind" just won't shut up.


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## Jackk11 (May 9, 2018)

Chip1021 said:


> That's interesting. So you say your "mind" is turned way down? Is that similar to what people her refer to as "blank mind"?
> 
> I feel the opposite...my "mind" just won't shut up.


Idek honestly it's confusing as fuck. I feel like I get these random thoughts words and phrases once my head such as song lyrics and they repeat and repeat but my thoughts never mean anything. I dont know if it's blank mind because I can make mental pictures and I can copy music in my head and produce coherent thoughts if I try but it feels like I'm just talking to myself


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## Chip1021 (Mar 24, 2018)

Jackk11 said:


> Idek honestly it's confusing as fuck. I feel like I get these random thoughts words and phrases once my head such as song lyrics and they repeat and repeat but my thoughts never mean anything. I dont know if it's blank mind because I can make mental pictures and I can copy music in my head and produce coherent thoughts if I try but it feels like I'm just talking to myself


This is me to a T (or is it tee? I've never seen the expression written, nor do I know where it comes from).

People with blank mind complain that they experience no or almost no internal monologue at all, so people like us who just talk to ourselves all the time with no real purpose and to no practical end seem to be on the opposite end of that spectrum. It makes me think that DP should be subdivided into "blank mind" and "nothing but mind" categories to facilitate research and conversation.

Oh, and it's confusing as fuck to me, too. I feel that my "self" is constantly changing and never stable: my beliefs, values, interests, personality, what have you.


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## Hopeful85 (Jul 8, 2018)

I too feel like my mind won’t shut up. It’s as if I’m talking to myself or narrating a story in my head. It’s extremely frustrating and exhausting because I’m always worried about why some things just pop up. I get memories and flash backs too. Songs repeat over and over as if to keep my mind from wandering into unpleasant thoughts.


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