# I've recovered :)



## Fluke93 (Nov 2, 2010)

I have recovered 100% and i feel great. You know what ill explain a little bit. This post wont be perfect or organized (they never are) and my spelling will be off and grammar will be shit and quite frankly that's not important is it. I got DP when i was around 17 I am 19 now. Basically it was the most awful terrifying experience I have ever encounted. It was the most depressing soul crushing experience ever. Whether or not i could help the way i acted and reacted to it well i guess i could. I'll be honest it was the weakest lowest point. It really was just terrifying, i acted well didn't act like a teenage boy. It got to the point where i walked down the street and nearly started crying, and sometimes i did, panic attacks, weird shit happening physically. I was basically in pieces. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, i couldn't do that if i did the pain would increase. I remember my routine insisted of getting up freaking out panicking staying in for 2 months straight once. Searching Google to see what i had, what usually came up was depersonalization, that word haunted me, scared me, brang shivers down my spine, schizophrenia, brain tumors, and other shit saying life is just an illusion anyway and all that shit. Lonely place, you've got friends and family and other people around you and everything seems foreign. Questions feelings weird feelings, constant checking yourself for things, obsessing.

It was brought on by weed and a panic attack i believe, (or possibly a moped accident but doubt that.) I just was in despair couldn't see how i could overcome this shit when every waking minute was torture. One night i was on chat talking to someone, (back when the chat was decent lol) and saying right im going to the hospital. Left the house and went up there on my own. Said i needed to see someone cause im having a panic attack and feel weird. Took my number down, sat in waiting room for 2 hours and cried while people gave me funny looks. And in the end left, and then the police called my home to check if i was home safe. Before i waiting in the waiting room i was interviewed or whatever you call it by some foreign guy. Asking if i was hearing voices. Reasonable question but at the time it freaked me out. I needed reassurance and my mum wasn't sympathetic at all, she doesn't understand what anxiety and psychological shit does to ya. I just remember thinking well this is 2010 and i feel like ive just come out of the 70s and we're in the dark ages still, which to be fair in a way we still are. After my mum found out she realized i was needed help. So i went to CBT. Helped a bit, to settle the mind. Then to a pych, she didn't have a clue. I requested pills, cause i knew i couldn't cope without it at the time. I had Citalopram and to be honest for me it helped immensely. It really was a life saver. I don't know about drug interactions so be careful but i also took b vitamins and magnesium and honestly i think that really boosted me.

After about 6 months i came off it. I was still feeling good. Then it came back for a while. And everything else that year was a burr. For the past 9 months ive been on the road to recovery and now am recovered. I forced myself out the house. Got off this website most of the time. Had a drink, didn't worry whether a coffee or a pint of beer or some antibiotics would make my symptoms worse. I didn't care. I changed my lifestyle a lot, and just tried to live healthily and generally started to forget about DP even though it was still hindering my life, i didn't give it the attention. Right now the only issues i have is slight OCD symptoms, depressive symptoms, but nothing major at all, and basically still quite negative at times.

I can laugh and feel it
I never ever ever feel weird anymore 
I don't freak out anymore
I don't feel like im the only person in the world
And i certainly don't feel like I'm in a dream

You get people here who say ive recovered and then you go on to read and they say well 80% of my symptoms of gone. Well 100% of mine have gone







. And i never thought that would happen. Ever. Ever. Ever. But it has. Despite people telling me im probably going to have to adapt. Which even if you do isn't all bad is it? I mean Ive adapted for 9 months, maybe longer, ive lived alongside it for what seems like forever. Does the whole experience feel like a blur? Nope. When my symptoms were not life crushing i can remember some of the greatest moments of my life being spent with DP. Its not a death sentence it really isn't. Whatever it is. If its something like well my memory is fucked i might have dementia. Ive just read a page and cant remember a thing. DON'T FOCUS ON IT! You're taking the information in trust me. Its like once i thought i forgot how to walk lol. I thought i had to think to breath. I couldn't take a bath without having a panic attack. The unreal feeling that was there constantly was just terrible. Everything looked like a video game. Wtf was that shit.

Try to live healthier
Get help if you need it 
Get tested for any health issues 
Take some supplements if you think they help you
If you really need it and are virtually breaking down and cant live you might have to go on some sort of meds. Do it despite what others tell you here.
Try and exercise
CBT can be very helpful (check other therapies)

Remember also there are setbacks, ive had 3 minor little breakdowns this year where i basically went of the rails for a few hours or at the most 2 days. It was nothing really, just negative thoughts and bouts of anxiety, and anger. Remember, you're not wasting your life if you think positive. Don't think "ive wasted 3 months, or 4 years of my life in this DP shit" cause you haven't. If you think like that it will only fuel it. You have plenty of years left, whats the rush to recover?

You know something? I recovered by trying not to recover. By living my life. With the help of meds at one point, and even hypnosis CD at one point, i eventually stopped it from ruling my life. The last symptoms (before it went) was brain fog. Lasted maybe a year. There is know quick fix. It will take months and maybe longer. Or it could take a day or an hour, who the fuck knows? I don't know how i recovered, cause it just happened randomly after living my life.

I'll be leaving now as don't want to remember anything about DP. Its in the past for me. This website was a lifesaver once, but as many others say its like a love hate thing. It helps but also can make it worse. Avoid the negative little fuckers who say you'll be here forever, because you know what they are talking shit. Stop looking for a cure. You cant cure this. What sort of a name is cure for a mental disorder? So fucking cringey some people.

Last words to the forum will be most people here are normal down to earth people and its so sad that us "normal" people get this shit. Its horrible. But think positive. I apologize this is probably the worst recovery and leaving post in the history of dpselfhelp haha. I don't belong here anymore and if you think leaving here or coming less will help, have a bit of self control and limit your time spent here. It will only make you worse if you spend hours in chat or hours reading posts and freaking out. Some very very good people ive met here, just listen to some of the long timers who are positive they know what they're talking about i wont names cause ill leave someone out, but theres a good few.

Thank you the people of DPselfhelp nice meeting you all I'm going to get a job, bust out some weights, get drunk now and then, and eventually hopefully find a girl i really like and try and date







.

Just remember when DP ends you take advantage of feeling normal again, its just human nature. And when you do recover or at least start to feel better, even if it sounds corny, just remember people, theres always gonna be people who are better looking, stronger, faster, more intelligent than you. Just keep your head up and be true to yourself. Have fun, work hard, and find someone who will make your life worth living.

Bye everyone X


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## kaitlynf (Jun 25, 2012)

CONGRATS! so good to hear you have recovered! hopefully i will soon too!
have a great life! & stay strong!


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## SongBillong (Sep 20, 2011)

Great stuff buddy, brilliant post. All the best


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## Felicity (Feb 7, 2011)

Super news. If you can do it anyone can, I don't suspect for a second DP is permanent. It's all about the right technique. Might be a little like walking where focusing on it makes you rigid and clumsy, but when you just let your subconscious take over, you move effortlessly. I think the brain already knows what to do to recover from most any illness, and that we unwittingly stand in our own way.


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

Thats great to hear Fluke, I'm proud of you!


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## Thidwick (May 30, 2012)

Fantastic news, brother. Have a great life, and good luck to the Gunners this fall.


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

Great news...Now, just if Man City don't get Van Persie your life will be perfect


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## rodris (Jun 18, 2012)

I am he said:


> Great news...Now, just if Man City don't get Van Persie your life will be perfect


yesss!!!!this is it


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## I am he (Jun 23, 2012)

rodris said:


> yesss!!!!this is it


I spoke to soon...but the big question is - will RVP go to Man City or Man United??


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## sunflowersteve (Apr 24, 2012)

YES!!


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