# Does anyone else feel stupid with DP?



## sarah514 (Aug 24, 2010)

I'm always obsessing over my intelligence and doubting myself. For the last year, the idea has become more prominent and I just feel so insecure. I don't remember being this unsure of myself before I got DP, I think I was quite confident actually.

The main problem is that I feel it's difficult to express myself; to put my thoughts into words. This gets even more difficult if I focus and try to articulate myself properly, but most of the time I end up sounding like an idiot, because I forget what I'm trying to say. It also gets worse in situations, which make me anxious. Oral presentations are the worst. When I'm up there, I'm so nervous and engulfed in my DP symptoms, that my thought process disappears and my mind just goes blank. Does DP do this to you too? I hate feeling insecure like this.


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## noname (Sep 23, 2008)

same here, like ive said in some other post this is exactly this symptom wich have gone worst over time. My thinking seem to go out my head, I often block on phrase, repeat word, repeat phrase, in moment of anxiety my head can be stuck for minutes on a part of a phrase wich loop. Its now 1 year im like that, anxiety or not. Sometime I have the impression to stop to think, thats awfull, as if internal monologue, wich is yet sufficiently fucked from dp, suddenly go outside myself as if I am close to see it lol.
I cant figure how to work with this. Im currently employed, but I do shit due to ocd and concentration problem, probably gettin fired quickly (Ive wasted a large meeting). I do all for dont giving a shit, ive done my best in the past and twisted myself with different exitant (adderall cafeine mainly) but now thats too much. 
The conforting rationnalz is that other dont want to understand whatever I say (ive speaked about depression and ocd, no DP fearing being seen like mad, perhaps I should have), require impossible fast awesomeness from me, so thats the revenge. Thats idiot and really creepy but I cant take that anymore. Meeting fucked ? that was important ? take that fucker.

That can be not the case of all, when dp was less intense Ive managed to do great at college, and at my first 1 year job too. What I can say is that take working as a challenge, it will be somewhat easier. Like if the paper you need to learn about say to you "haha, you will never can rettain or understand that". That worked for me in the past.


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

I feel stupid all the time since getting dp. I can't remember the simplest stuff and my memory is completely messed up.


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## miguelmalato (Jan 9, 2012)

sarah514 said:


> I'm always obsessing over my intelligence and doubting myself. For the last year, the idea has become more prominent and I just feel so insecure. I don't remember being this unsure of myself before I got DP, I think I was quite confident actually.
> 
> The main problem is that I feel it's difficult to express myself; to put my thoughts into words. This gets even more difficult if I focus and try to articulate myself properly, but most of the time I end up sounding like an idiot, because I forget what I'm trying to say. It also gets worse in situations, which make me anxious. Oral presentations are the worst. When I'm up there, I'm so nervous and engulfed in my DP symptoms, that I my thought process disappears and my mind just goes blank. Does DP do this to you too? I hate feeling insecure like this.


That happens to me too bro.

But I think a blanked mind is more of a symptom of anxiety rather than DP. But that's debatable.

It's just that it used to happen to me on basically any social situation. I would get in a fight or flight (or freeze) mode where I would just shut down and not think of anything...

It was a really scary sensation...


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## Absent (Oct 16, 2004)

Yes DP does this to me. Though it's symptomatic rather than loss of intelligence, the result has still upset me for years. With DP I can end up misreading the world around me, also go blank, or confuse concepts with my recognition and memory problems - so I have looked silly sometimes. I hate it, as I am intelligent and educated. 'Clever' of non-DP people to get the better of me sometimes. I have learnt to steady, if possible, before doing anything now. I also rehearse situations to try to get around my DP/DR disadvantage - that's stressful in itself but I can't stop. I 'have' to be prepared for eventualities, though at the price of spontaneity. Still not enough of course but I do hate looking foolish when it is a disability. Dyslexics were misunderstood, so are we.


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## depersonalised (Apr 30, 2012)

Yes! This is a problem I have. It bothers me no end, as my job and the career I want to go into requires constant idea creation and concentration. I've wanted to be in writing (which is what I do) for a while, but as you can probably see from my posts, my writing is often a bit disorganised now, or thoughts are left open-ended because I can't focus on what I'm doing. I have a lot of mind blanks and I feel like I've gone stupid. I feel so impotent, it's horrible.

I also have what you say about mind blanks when socialising. Socialising is difficult for me, even around friends, because I get anxious about what others think of me. Because it's stressful, I seem to just detach from the moment and then what people are saying to me is too far away and I can't keep track. Then, when I try to speak, words desert me and I forget what I was going to say. I often speak in jumbled sentences then need to take a deep breath and go back to repeat what I said in the right order! It's like a heavy feeling of confusion, exhaustion and blankness just comes over me and then I can't articulate.

My identity has always rested on my abilities (wrongly, I suppose!) so the inability to think clearly and be "intelligent" has hit my sense of worth pretty hard!


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