# Early hope with Adderall?



## Tacxj

This got wordy, feel free to skip to the second half..









I want to preface this by saying that I have been involved in talk therapy for about six months now, and my therapist has no knowledge of Depersonalization. This is very frustrating and means I have gotten virtually nowhere with this issue through her. I found one trick that has helped me consistently: I focus on my surroundings very closely, to the point of describing to myself the colors and the materials that are around me until they are in sharp focus. I learned it as a "mindfulness" technique, to be more aware and less anxious, but I found that for seconds up to minutes I felt particularly "here" in my body and my surroundings didn't seem to be disconnected movie projections. 
After a singularly successful use of this trick, I have been earnestly practicing it every day. My therapist and I are of the opinion that practice makes perfect and that I might untrain myself to dissociate from everything by getting better and better at the technique. The frustrating thing is, however, that I've felt depersonalization for as long as I can remember, so every effort at mentally ripping myself into focus takes severe concentration and is difficult to sustain. This leads to some heightened anxiety associated with 'reality' and I'm sometimes reluctant to want to put myself through that for such short relief when it's so much safer and easier to just sit back and blur out.

The real point of this post is a completely unexpected love affair with Adderall. As far as I know I do not have ADD, but with four papers to write on a deadline I decided now was as good a time as any to try this drug, like a good college girl. About an hour after taking _half_ of a pill, I realized that I was effortlessly, continuously "here". Not only did everything around me seem real, but my body was honest-to-god MINE. Over the next couple of hours this did not even waiver! I haven't been able to finish the papers I'm supposed to because I'm so thrilled to be 'a real person'.. maybe one that will fail her class but I don't care. 
I know that Adderall is supposed to increase anxiety in those that have it, and that Depersonalization is related to heightened anxiety, but to me I feel like I've just been focused pulled into myself. No word on if it will go away when I come down or if it will make my 'trick' easier to sustain (without medication) as I am still on the up (8 hours and another half pill later). 
Sleepiness makes me feel like this relief might not last without the med, but we'll see..

Cat


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## Visual

*I found one trick that has helped me consistently: I focus on my surroundings very closely, to the point of describing to myself the colors and the materials that are around me until they are in sharp focus. I learned it as a "mindfulness" technique&#8230;*

I do this too (if understanding you correctly). I focus and 'grab' onto a positive emotion and 'hold on' as long as I can. It is very exhausting but gradually over time you can make in last until is 'attaches' to everyday life. Not much anxiety for me because each little bit of progress is encouraging.

*I've felt depersonalization for as long as I can remember*

Had been my whole life.

*Adderall&#8230; About an hour after taking half of a pill, I realized that I was effortlessly, continuously "here".*

I have not tried Adderall but use other dopamine boosting meds (Selegiline, Sinemet, Wellbutrin, Requip) and they truly work wonders for me. And very quickly. And with very small dosages.

Thank you for your post. Keep up the good work!


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## Visual

Adderall is a stimulant and yet it gives you peace. This is a good example for people to consider.


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## Tacxj

follow-up:
after coming off of the chemicals things are back to normal. ugh.


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## Livingthenightmare

Amazing results for sure. I don't suppose you'd be willing to mail me a couple pills for testing ?







I'm in no mood to go to another psychiatrist for a prescription. I tried a whole bunch of SSRIs in an effort to get better and they only made me feel worse.


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## lil P nut

I know how you feel. I try to be mindfull all day and I can feel my mind trying to pull me into dissociation all the freekin time. It's so easy to just go into dissociation and not really be in my body. But it feels like I can't really learn new things or remember things also. I'm just going to be mindful all day everyday until this goes away and hopefully I can get some adderall from my doctor!


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