# Back, after a long, unsuccessful, hiatus!



## Sam1814 (Dec 24, 2014)

Hello again,

At the request of my counselor, I've stayed off the forums for a long time. I can't say if it helped or not.

You can look at my earlier posts, and see how terrified and frantic I was when this first started in December of 2014. I'm still terrified and frantic, I guess I've just grown used to feeling this way so I don't have as much panic.. I don't have anxiety attacks often- once every couple of months. Usually brought on by some sudden existential realization, or thought, or possibility, that hadn't occurred to me yet.

I tried Lexapro. No success. I believe I wrote a diary of it in here somewhere.

Tried Cymbalta for 8 months or so; started at 60mg, then 90mg, then after i figured out it did absolutely nothing, started weaning off it.. I'm down to 20mg a day.

After that, I was considering an antipsychotic? Perhaps they could put back together the loose ends of perception that seem to make up my DPDR. I don't know anything about antipsychotics, so any advice or warnings would be welcomed.

I take .5mg of Klonopin every day, and another .5mg as needed.

My counselor has tried nearly everything, with no success- Parts work, EMDR, mindfulness of the senses, meditation (made me freak out).. Nothing has helped.

-Unfortunately, since getting DPDR, I have forgotten, (or at least can't currently access) the majority of my life before age 15.

-Everything, and i mean EVERYTHING, that i still CAN remember, feels like it didn't happen to me, or that it is not ME in my memories.

-My parents, friends, boyfriend, home, work- places and people- STILL seem off, and unfamiliar in an indescribable way.

-I am still tortured by existential questions, to the point that I often wonder if I am dead, or in a coma somewhere.. etc. You all know what I'm talking about lol.

-I stumbled upon solipsism when this first began, and it has truly altered my life, not in a good way. I can't seem to fathom how life happens for 7 billion other people- when I'm not a part of it, or when I'm not there to witness it.. The old, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" theory- but with existence, I guess..

-Being outside is my arch nemesis- Daytime, driving, the outdoors.. for some reason the existential terror is far worse when faced with that.

Anyways, I'm back. Most of the friends I made here have recovered (yay!!!) and moved on, so I would love to find someone to talk to again who shares my symptoms. Thanks!


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## Sam1814 (Dec 24, 2014)

Thank you.… I have not tried Somatic experiencing therapy. Unfortunately, since the majority of my life seems to have been forgotten, (or at least unreachable currently), I can't pinpoint anything traumatic. And the things that my therapist considers traumatic, I don't… So it makes it fairly hard to process anything at all. I either don't remember it, or don't consider it traumatic. I have never heard of TRE however… How about you? Have you experienced my symptoms? Or have you experienced any success with the options you named?


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## eddy1886 (Oct 11, 2012)

If you are considering an Anti Psychotic I would suggest you try Seroquel at a low dose...I know a few DP sufferers who have had alot of success with it....In my own case "Sulpiride" (Dolmatil) has done really good things for me for a long time..(Ive been on a childs dose for a long time with no major issues or side effects that I can even think of)

The thing about Anti Psychotics is they can zonk you at first and even make you feel worse possibly for a week or two...After that when your mind and body adjust they go to work...

They also help alot with insomnia issues...(Which for me and alot of other DP sufferers is a huge probelm)

The standard dose (and its a baby dose) of Seroquel to treat anxiety related problems (in our case, DP/OCD) is 25mg...What you can do is start on 12.5mg for the first week to allow your system adjust better...Then bump it up to 25mg....

It should have a decent effect within about 4 weeks....

If your getting desperate maybe give it a shot!


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