# For you 5mins to read and comment, for me better life



## martin231 (Jul 19, 2014)

Hello, my name is Martin and im 16 years old. My english is bad but i think you'll understand what i want to say. Here is my story:

Around 15 months ago i used to smoke weed(3-4 times a week). All was good untill one day when i went on a party, i was there with my friends and as usuall we wanted some weed, we smoked before we took a taxi to get on the party and we were out of weed, so we asked the party organiser if he has some to give us (he isnt a stranger, he is my school friend). He took out big amount of weed and made big joint, he called 2 of his friend and we went behind the house and start smoking it, it was strong and thats why they didnt inhale it, but me and my friends didnt know that. My friends took few hits because the one before going on the party was still holding them, and i took more. We went back in the house and it was all good for the next 5 mins, but then suddnely i felt bad. I had to stand up and walk in a circle, i didnt know what to do, i was in panic. I couldn't see well, i had big dizness and i was seeing only black (same like losing conscious) , about 70% of that i was seeing was black. Also my heart was beating fast and hard, when i put my hand on the chest i had a feeling someone is boxing from behind, i thought my heart will break my chest bones. After that we got in a taxi and went back to our place, we went in a building and i sit on the stairs to calm down. The most important thing is that i had a numb, it was really weird, it was like a wave coming from my throat and ending at the end of my tongue. It was repeating every 5-6 secs. After 1-2 hours i could walk and i went home and get in bed. I tried to sleep and few minutes after i fall asleep i woke up suddnly and im dizzy for the next 2-3 sec. It happened 2-3 times per night around a week every night. The next morning when i woke up i was feeling very weird. I controll my body but i think like im not, i was seeing people on very weird way, like they arent real. When i see myself in a mirror i see someone but i think its not me. I thought it was only because i took a lot hits, so i decided to smoke again. I took only 2-3 hits and the same thing happened but i wasntt dizzy that much, the effect of everything was lower. Now around a year passed from then and i still feel the same but now i am used to it, but im not enough used to continue living with it. I also now dont have problem with sleeping, but how i see people, me in the mirror, and all about controlling the body is same.

Here is one example, when i go to a big shop or inside a mall. Or any other place where is full of lights, i can't walk nicely and i think i will fall on the ground. I can't explain it, its weird. if someone understand me how it feels let me know.

I need your help, please tell me is anyone feeling the same thing, am I posting this on the right page. I dont know anyone who has the same problems like me. Please tell me that im not the only one, i need someone who is passing or already passed through this, only like that you can understand through what i am passing and how i live. When will this end, would i live normal?

After the second time, i never tried again. It has around 1 year that im clean.

Thank you very much for reading this. Any kind of comments, suggestions, self experience, etc. will be very helpful.


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## marry1985 (Dec 1, 2013)

That's dp. You need to be patient, I know it's hard but with time things will get better.A lot of people here feel exactly the same. I don't have derealization, but I know how depersonalization feels like: my body is light, can't connect to my past, memories, I m numb and I don't feel like I have a personality.I used to be very depressed (severe depresion) and since I ve started treatment (seroquel and anafranil) I can better cope with all those symptoms and I'm definetly less depressed. Somehow we are in the same boat.


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## Toonami PS1 (Jul 15, 2014)

Yep. DP came on for me the same way. Hit a joint of good weed on Friday, January 17, 2014, had a panic attack, heart racing, sensation of death, woke up the next morning feeling like shit, thinking it'd go away on monday, it didn't, I googled my symptoms, and the rest was history. It ABSOLUTELY gets better with time. No doubt about it, brother.


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## WolfieTehStoner (Jul 15, 2014)

Yea my walking coordination is off too. I often feel like I'm walking the "wrong" way and feel stupid.


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