# What's your worst dissociation symptom?



## Jurgen (Aug 3, 2013)

My worst symptom is definitely feeling alienated from everyone. I can describe it as this feeling/knot in my chest that is coupled with extreme anxiety and utter hopelesness.

My vision never really bothered me as much compared to the churning in my heart whenever I felt so disconnected from everyone. The feeling is devastating. I didn't feel suicidal, more so just like I was stuck in the abyss of that feeling specifically. I felt like I was drowning in it.

I did however manage to get a lot better.

What was/is your worst symptom?


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## jstandard18 (Aug 7, 2014)

Not knowing who or what i am. Absolutely terrible


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## seafoamneon (Jul 16, 2014)

I feel like Im in multiple places at once, and in multiple periods of time at once


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## Hakumen (Sep 30, 2014)

Jurgen said:


> My worst symptom is definitely feeling alienated from everyone. I can describe it as this feeling/knot in my chest that is coupled with extreme anxiety and utter hopelesness.
> 
> My vision never really bothered me as much compared to the churning in my heart whenever I felt so disconnected from everyone. The feeling is devastating. I didn't feel suicidal, more so just like I was stuck in the abyss of that feeling specifically. I felt like I was drowning in it.
> 
> ...


This.

When you feel like going crazy you don't see things as they are. I felt like a veil had been lifted from eyes and I finally realized that I'm some sort of sociopath and I started to view my entire history and future through those glasses.


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## WILBUR (Aug 9, 2014)

My worst symptom now is probably the visual distortions I get, its like being on acid\mushrooms, but a low dose for the past four years.


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## ManOnTheSilverMountain (Jun 12, 2014)

The worst symptoms I had were constant weird existential thoughts.....how absurd reality is, how absurd the world is and why is my disembodied consciousness in it. This was always accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, anhedonia and dread. It was terrifying and I couldn't shut it off. I've recovered now and am very thankful that these thoughts have stopped.


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## sherodon (Oct 5, 2014)

ManOnTheSilverMountain said:


> The worst symptoms I had were constant weird existential thoughts.....how absurd reality is, how absurd the world is and why is my disembodied consciousness in it. This was always accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, anhedonia and dread. It was terrifying and I couldn't shut it off. I've recovered now and am very thankful that these thoughts have stopped.


 those were also the worst for me. Those were terrifying. When it was happening I seen it as I was so worried for so long v that my mind just made it seem like everything meant nothing, so I wouldn't freak out so much. I'm sorry you had to go through that but thanks for sharing that. I've been so ashamed of it for so long that even when I was diagnosed I didn't share that with the psychiatrist because I thought for sure she was gonna admit me or something. It's really amazing to know I'm not the only one and to see proof that I'm not crazy and it is just a part of depersonalization.


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## vertigodream (Oct 5, 2014)

For me the worst symptom is not feeling completely here. I see my friends being in the moment and having a fun time, and not worrying about the future when all I can think is will feel like this forever. I see my niece who is now 2 growing up so fast behind my eyes; and I have still had dp symptoms for 7 years (on and off). I also hate looking at my hands and feeling like they are a million miles away. I feel like I am insane.


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## Mochan (Jul 14, 2014)

I think the weird vision and lightheadedness/dreamlike state, I'm also afraid of going crazy sometimes


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## Strength&Hope (Oct 3, 2014)

There's so many symptoms that are scary, it's hard to choose one but I hate not knowing who I am when I look in the mirror. I feel like I am looking at someone else, not myself which scares me. I also hate being numb and not feeling love for the people that I do know that I love. All of my thoughts are so bizarre and crazy! Normal people don't question everything including what's reality like I do. I just hate feeling SO LOST.


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2014)

Worst dissociative symptom of all?

Probably being so fragmented with dissociated 'parts' all over the place. It's confusing sometimes.


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