# fear of forgetting



## Wwallace (Jul 7, 2008)

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to ask around if anyone else is experiencing similar issues. For over three months now I've been suffering from panic attacks, anxiety disorders, depressions you name it. I had a CT scan and multiple blood tests and everything came back negative. I'm feeling like most of you people suffering from Depersonalization (living like in a dream etc.) but lately I have developed this fear of forgetting everything. I feel like I have to remind me in my head over and over again that I don't forget who I am, where I live, who my brother/mother/father is and so forth. Sometimes, it is as if something that I know since my childhood, like my own room for example, is suddenly new to me, as if I don't remember it in my head.It is really starting to freak me out. I've been to Great Britain last winter and now I'm really afraid that I got mad cow disease or something. I have heard that this illness is usually also associated with muslce problems, and I have problems with walking etc. (I always thought it was due to anxiety, but now I'm not so sure)
Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if these thoughts of suffering from strong illnesses and dying, and forgetting everything are something you are familliar with.

Best,
Mark


----------



## Guest (Jul 10, 2008)

Hi Mark. Fear of forgetting has been with me 24/7 since d/p struck last August. I also have ocd which I believe is also contributing to this fear. Right before d/p hit two of my aunts passed away, one from a brain tumor the other alzheimers disease. My ocd thoughts told me I was next. During this time I was also suffering from anxiety and panic attacks brought on by an irregular heartbeat.
As luck would have it one day while driving on the road I had a breakdown while blowing my top in an argument with my wife and immediately d/p set in where I felt like I was looking down a tunnel and everything seemed strange and in slow motion.
I immediately thought my worst fears were coming true that I had alzheimers or a brain tumor.
What bad timing that d/p would hit right about the time both of my aunts passed away and my ocd telling me I was next. Dp only made the fear worse. I'm constantly memory testing myself. I guess the fogginess and detachment of d/p causes me to feel this way. The funny thing is I remember everything so perfect even back to when I was two years old but it seems so foggy.
I'm still waiting to schedule an appointment for an mri brain scan.
Welcome to the board.


----------



## Urushiol (Jul 8, 2007)

Hey mark, and dream, I'm right there with you all. I first experienced DP back in may of 2007., I also believe I have mild OCD, thought that has never been clinically diagnosed. My grandmother died of Alzheimers when I was 10, and the whole experience really stuck with me. So, when I started feeling foggy, and things started feeling unreal, my mind felt the only logical conclusion was some sort of mental deterioration. I remember, even before having DP, I was so scared of mad cow, i didn't eat any beef products for nearly 5 years. :shock: 
But so, here I am, after 14'ish months with DP, it is still a struggle, coping with fear. I had a CTscan, MRI, EEG, blood tests, x-rays, all came back completely normal. The last neurologist I saw for the MRI actually told me "well, lets just say I hope my brain looks as good as yours". If it could make you feel better about it mark, perhaps you could talk to your doctor about it?

best of luck.


----------

