# (Trigger Warning) suicidal things



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

Hello

Iam a DP suffered since 8 years now. To be honest i tried many things and never found just one thing that made me feel better.

I hate to be on this state i lost my last 8 years and have regrets (I am 28 years old).

I am so scare because all specialists i have seen said to me it will be very long or there is no cure for DP. it is a dissociation you can not overcome and will have it all the rest of my life. I feel condemned and have suicidal things since few months...

Do i must believe on a recovery ? I tried many therapies and no one help me. I am a french guy and feel confuse never found a specialist about it. There is no french support centers.

DP/DR is really a dissociation. The only word lost personality scare me like i have a incurable illness on psychiatry.

I feel so different like on a dream. I am single i have no feeling so i do not want to be on couple i prefer stay single.

I would like believe there is HOPE and i can overcome in few months. I feel so sad and have suicidal things.

Any advices?

Thanks a lot


----------



## TDX (Jul 12, 2014)

> I am a french guy and feel confuse never found a specialist about it. There is no french support centers.


The fact that you are french is good for you: There is a clinical trial of TMS going on in your country:

https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02476435?term=depersonalization&rank=3

You could take part in this trial.



> I tried many therapies and no one help me.


Which medications did you try? Maybe there is something left you could try.


----------



## Guest (Jan 20, 2016)

hey,

just want to start by saying i get the pain and frustratino you must be feeling, not to mention lonely. Been there and kinda doing that myself right now. As for the doctors, don't listent to all of them. Its true that there is no "medical cure" and little is known about the nature of this disorder, cept through some research and sites like this. I am not going to tell you its easy, cause I would be lying. I have been trying to come to a place of total acceptance for a while and I keep resisting it. Lately, I have been really angry, almost bitter with life. It feels to me like first i developed this out of my family and then a society, meaning the people who you normally turn too for help, still can't help you so its a very lonely isolating place of pain when you are sufering and get no relief.. So, for me there is a lot of mixed feelings and emotions. Suicide, Isn't the answer. Although its perfectly normal to think such thoughts when in despair etc. I can hear your pain through your text. Sometimes I wonder if the cure really isn't just stop looking for a answer and doing the best we can to make a life for ourselves. Part of the nature of this state is inward introspection and the unusual feeling makes the mind almost seek and seek. Try and be easy on yourself (hard I know) and do the best you can. That's all you can do. And your not alone man. This board has lots of people and I am guessing this is way more common than anyone really knows. Another thing. Look at the other side to DP. I mean it turns you madly inwards and being the observor shows you a lot about life, society, etc. While it feels like hell, etc, try to look at some benefit. And never give up cause you don't know the day you will be the next recovery story or help other people in they're time of need.


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

TDX said:


> The fact that you are french is good for you: There is a clinical trial of TMS going on in your country:
> 
> https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT02476435?term=depersonalization&rank=3
> 
> ...


Thanks. Yes i have see the same thing in Paris hospital and contact them but the problem is this method is use each week treatment. I do not live in Paris.

I tried LEXOMIL and ATARAX


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

jus7 said:


> hey,
> 
> just want to start by saying i get the pain and frustratino you must be feeling, not to mention lonely. Been there and kinda doing that myself right now. As for the doctors, don't listent to all of them. Its true that there is no "medical cure" and little is known about the nature of this disorder, cept through some research and sites like this. I am not going to tell you its easy, cause I would be lying. I have been trying to come to a place of total acceptance for a while and I keep resisting it. Lately, I have been really angry, almost bitter with life. It feels to me like first i developed this out of my family and then a society, meaning the people who you normally turn too for help, still can't help you so its a very lonely isolating place of pain when you are sufering and get no relief.. So, for me there is a lot of mixed feelings and emotions. Suicide, Isn't the answer. Although its perfectly normal to think such thoughts when in despair etc. I can hear your pain through your text. Sometimes I wonder if the cure really isn't just stop looking for a answer and doing the best we can to make a life for ourselves. Part of the nature of this state is inward introspection and the unusual feeling makes the mind almost seek and seek. Try and be easy on yourself (hard I know) and do the best you can. That's all you can do. And your not alone man. This board has lots of people and I am guessing this is way more common than anyone really knows. Another thing. Look at the other side to DP. I mean it turns you madly inwards and being the observor shows you a lot about life, society, etc. While it feels like hell, etc, try to look at some benefit. And never give up cause you don't know the day you will be the next recovery story or help other people in they're time of need.


Thanks a lot for you answer and support. I said sometimes to myself is this symptom is not the result of introspection and too worry thinking deeper. Yes sometimes its hard but as you said I need to never give up.

You know my life will be easier without it. I have stomach problems caused by anxiety. It is very hard to not be like others.I wish one day i will really appreciate myself before being in couple and a woman will love me as I am. But no certain a woman will like a anxious guy like me with stomach problems and anxiety. Frustration


----------



## Guest (Jan 20, 2016)

np man, I am here any time you wanna talk add me.


----------



## 58779 (Jan 7, 2016)

I don't get it, who's saying it can not be cured? I've seen in many psychology sites it is treatable (there was a Russian woman who said it was permanent but didn't see another one), but they do not seem to have one specific cure. And there are a lot of recovery stories. I understand the despair, most of the people here have this disease longer than me but I don't think any of us should lose hope.


----------



## Mar1982 (Feb 14, 2013)

Winston Churchill said "Never Never Never Never Give up!" and Thomas Edison said, "Just when you think that you have exhausted all the possible solutions, just remember that you haven't!" There is hope. Please get help. Please read the Recovery stories on here and please tell a good friend or family member how you feel. You can get better. Even if it doesn't go away 100%- you can get to a better place- like 80%. Don't give up


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

the_nomad said:


> I don't get it, who's saying it can not be cured? I've seen in many psychology sites it is treatable (there was a Russian woman who said it was permanent but didn't see another one), but they do not seem to have one specific cure. And there are a lot of recovery stories. I understand the despair, most of the people here have this disease longer than me but I don't think any of us should lose hope.


Thanks for the support. It was a nurse when I was hospitalized few years ago and my psychiatrist will answer the same thing last months. I must hope i can overcome



Mar1982 said:


> Winston Churchill said "Never Never Never Never Give up!" and Thomas Edison said, "Just when you think that you have exhausted all the possible solutions, just remember that you haven't!" There is hope. Please get help. Please read the Recovery stories on here and please tell a good friend or family member how you feel. You can get better. Even if it doesn't go away 100%- you can get to a better place- like 80%. Don't give up


Thanks for the support i must never give up


----------



## pasha (Jan 2, 2016)

oh god im 20 and just imagining to have it till my 28 make me wanna die and yes i think i am the most severe case of dpdr and good for you to stand it for 8 years and now you are suicidal i have already have suicidal thinking everyday


----------



## Zed (Jul 25, 2015)

fel49 said:


> Thanks a lot for you answer and support. I said sometimes to myself is this symptom is not the result of introspection and too worry thinking deeper. Yes sometimes its hard but as you said I need to never give up.
> 
> You know my life will be easier without it. I have stomach problems caused by anxiety. It is very hard to not be like others.I wish one day i will really appreciate myself before being in couple and a woman will love me as I am. But no certain a woman will like a anxious guy like me with stomach problems and anxiety. Frustration


There are many harmless and natural ways to combat anxiety - even high anxiety levels. I'd advise searching the internet and finding some that work for you and pursing those. If you work at it you can gradually build up a 'toolbox' of ways to deal with anxiety which you can use in almost any situation - that might be using herbs or mindfulness or deep breathing techniques, just to name a few.

Don't judge yourself too harshly when it comes to fitting in with society and finding a partner. No-ones perfect, and besides, as you gradually overcome this illness you'll find you'll come out the other side and stronger and wiser. There're two traits which are very attractive to potential partners!

As for suicidal thoughts... I'll bet everyone at some stage in their lives think about suicide. There's a big difference between thinking and acting something out.

Be kind to yourself and treat yourself well.


----------



## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

Who said "hope for the best, and prepare for the worst"? My life changed forever on an unseasonably warm night in December of 1971. I was 17 then. I became severely ill with depersonalization, derealization, and major depression. I was agoraphobic and was afraid to leave my house. I suffered severe anxiety, insomnia, and frequent vicious panic attacks. I did not think I could live a week with my symptoms. Do the math. It is now 2016. I have survived 45 years. Its hard to say if it was worth it. I suffered a lot over the years. I could have killed myself in the early days, and spared myself a lot of that suffering. But, I also was able to overcome my disabilities and enjoy life to the extent that I was capable. Life is cruel and there was no help then, and so little help now. Do the best that you can. That is the only advice I can offer.


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

Zed said:


> There are many harmless and natural ways to combat anxiety - even high anxiety levels. I'd advise searching the internet and finding some that work for you and pursing those. If you work at it you can gradually build up a 'toolbox' of ways to deal with anxiety which you can use in almost any situation - that might be using herbs or mindfulness or deep breathing techniques, just to name a few.
> 
> Don't judge yourself too harshly when it comes to fitting in with society and finding a partner. No-ones perfect, and besides, as you gradually overcome this illness you'll find you'll come out the other side and stronger and wiser. There're two traits which are very attractive to potential partners!
> 
> ...


You right the problem is i did many things tried many things at the same time for believing on a recovery.I am too hard to myself. I hope yes to overcome.


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

forestx5 said:


> Who said "hope for the best, and prepare for the worst"? My life changed forever on an unseasonably warm night in December of 1971. I was 17 then. I became severely ill with depersonalization, derealization, and major depression. I was agoraphobic and was afraid to leave my house. I suffered severe anxiety, insomnia, and frequent vicious panic attacks. I did not think I could live a week with my symptoms. Do the math. It is now 2016. I have survived 45 years. Its hard to say if it was worth it. I suffered a lot over the years. I could have killed myself in the early days, and spared myself a lot of that suffering. But, I also was able to overcome my disabilities and enjoy life to the extent that I was capable. Life is cruel and there was no help then, and so little help now. Do the best that you can. That is the only advice I can offer.


How you feel now? You overcome ?


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

The topic "The Holy Grail of DP" is a wonderful topic and give me a little hope.


----------



## Fatoush (Jan 15, 2016)

Try emdr. Have you tried that?


----------



## fel49 (Jan 28, 2009)

Yes i had try EMDR it did not work for me.


----------

