# Memory flashes



## AHuseman (Jan 29, 2005)

I've been getting all kinds of different reoccuring memory flashes of events, or people and things I havent thought about in a very very long time. It's really strange and hard to explain 'cause I've never had it happen. If you are familiar with this kind of thing; do you know if it's common with DP/DR or is it possibly another benzo thing goin on?


----------



## Guest (Feb 13, 2005)

I don't get memory flashes
I have this weird thing where when im falling asleep ill wake up about 7-8 times in 45 mins cuz i feel like im falling


----------



## dreamcatcher (Sep 23, 2004)

when i first got dp i had memory flashes really often....i relived the birth of my children many many times.....i put it down to trying to make a connection with events to try to induce reality.....i don't get the flash backs much now but do still have dp


----------



## bat (Aug 18, 2004)

i get it and it normally makes my emotions intense which i find hard. with me, since my first dp state, even in 'ok' times i can't bear to listen to music as it intensifies my emotions to unbearable levels. i've always been talented musically and felt the emotions of music strongly so i suppose that caused my reaction. most people on the board find music helps but i can only listen to particular music on a good day. anyway it's the same with the 'flashbacks' to life before. they get me emotionally and i try to distract myself from them. don't know if i deal with it right but, yea, i do get it and i'm not on benzo withdrawal


----------



## kenc127 (Aug 10, 2004)

It isn't from benzo withdrawal. In psychiatric terms it is called primary process regression. From what i understand from tlaking to Janine, and I am no expert, in DP states our minds exist in reality, but some aspects of our functioning retreat into the dream centers of our minds. This is why we can function normally, but we feel like we are in a dream. As such, we get horrible memories from years ago. Memories of random people, things, dreams and events we would have otherwise never thought about again. We feel like we are sort of reliving earlier time of our life. I find this the most troubling and frightening symptom of this illness. I don't know exactly why the brain does this, or what it is looking for. If I were to guess, it is the brain's way of purging out the trauma we have stuffed away into our subconscious when we were younger. Trauma we dissociated from earlier on in life. By the brain "revisiting" these random memories, and making the sufferer conscious of them, it creates a highly emotional response within us. I think we need to grieve these and hopefully heal from them.

Do these memories make you feel emotional? Do they provoke an emotional response of either sadness or anxiety?

I get the music thing too. The music at times seems too intense, like it punches me right in my emotional core. It's really wierd.

Ken


----------



## Guest (Feb 13, 2005)

pdr said:


> i get it and it normally makes my emotions intense which i find hard. with me, since my first dp state, even in 'ok' times i can't bear to listen to music as it intensifies my emotions to unbearable levels. i've always been talented musically and felt the emotions of music strongly so i suppose that caused my reaction. most people on the board find music helps but i can only listen to particular music on a good day. anyway it's the same with the 'flashbacks' to life before. they get me emotionally and i try to distract myself from them. don't know if i deal with it right but, yea, i do get it and i'm not on benzo withdrawal


yes this is what i get also, when i listen to a song that reminds me of something, or a movie that is familiar with my life, i get memories of my childhood and what happend and what i could have changed. I go into tears and my emotions run chills through my whole body but this is the only time i feel emotions besides anger


----------



## AHuseman (Jan 29, 2005)

yeah i find this the most frightening thing from my DR also. i guess its because the flashes are so far back in time it just scares me, kinda like i dont wana think about it cuz its from so long ago


----------



## Guest (Feb 13, 2005)

yea often those thoughts are like thoughts that you try to block out of your mind


----------



## Guest (Feb 13, 2005)

Its like the thoughts that you try and try to block out of your mind seem to stay but the ones that you dont try to block out go away :roll:


----------



## Guest (Feb 14, 2005)

i have this too, and never had it before i took benzos....its also a documented symptom of benzodiazepine w/d,


----------



## AHuseman (Jan 29, 2005)

f*ckin benzos man, i swear


----------



## dakotajo (Aug 10, 2004)

Hi,

Very common in benzo withdrawal. Its even specifically listed in the Ashton Manual. I experienced this also.

I have my own crazy theory on this. The brain is a very adaptive organ. I believe when a person takes benzos their serotonin supply is reduced. In a healthy, drug free brain Serotonin mediates gaba. When you take benzos the gaba is already mediated by the drug so the serotonin isnt of as much use so the brain compensates by slowing the output. Over time a person becomes short of serotonin and I believe this is why long term benzo users are often depressed. When the drug is taken away the brain has to build up its supply of serotonin which takes time, not to mention changes occur in the gaba itself so it no longer mediates excitatory nts like it should. It all adds up to a big mess and the reason benzo withdrawal is a nightmare.

Serotonin is very closely linked to our memory. The memory flashes that occur are a very good sign that the brain is slowly going back online with all its chemicals working as they should. When I started to really recover, I noticed during vigorous excersise that the memory flashes were really intense. This makes sense because excersise increases the output of serotonin.

Joe


----------



## dakotajo (Aug 10, 2004)

Directly from the Ashton Manual....

Intrusive memories. A fascinating symptom in patients undergoing benzodiazepine withdrawal is that they often mention the occurrence of what seem to be intrusive memories. Their minds will suddenly conjure up a vivid memory of someone they have not thought about or seen for years. Sometimes the other person's face will appear when looking in the mirror. The memory seems uncalled for and may recur, intruding on other thoughts. The interesting thing about these memories is that they often start to occur at the same time that vivid dreams appear; these may be delayed until one or more weeks after the dosage tapering has started. Since recent sleep research indicates that certain stages of sleep (REMS and SWS) are important for memory functions, it is likely that the dreams and the memories are connected. In both cases the phenomena may herald the beginning of a return in normal memory functions and, although sometimes disturbing, can be welcomed as a sign of a step towards recovery.

Poor memory and concentration are also features of benzodiazepine withdrawal, and are probably due to continued effects of the drug. Mentors should be prepared to repeat encouragements again and again, week after week, as their words are soon forgotten.


----------



## AHuseman (Jan 29, 2005)

alright thanks dude


----------



## person3 (Aug 10, 2004)

I think it could be related to something in the past you could examine in therapy, but im not totally sure...ask janine...I had those at one time too, mostly of elementary school, and I have to go back a long way to examine things kind of on my own, but I think that maybe in these things you suddenly remember there could be a part of your personality to examine...hm maybe janine would know about it...but in psychoanalysis that's something they look into...free association...stuff that pops into your mind as being significant, etc. But i'm not the expert.


----------



## AHuseman (Jan 29, 2005)

yeah ill probably look into that next time I go into therapy


----------



## Isobel (Aug 11, 2004)

Yes i get this too. Found this rather alaming at first, i said to my friend, and he was getting the exact same thing. With me, its little sayings i used to say when i was abiut eight, or images like a childs mind creates. I knew it was to do with regression, and thought it was to do with having to go backto the point before 'dissasscociative thinking' or whatever :roll: .
I also have been having feelings of extreme inadequacy that i used to get at school, like when you dont fit in and are worthless


----------



## kenc127 (Aug 10, 2004)

> I also have been having feelings of extreme inadequacy that i used to get at school, like when you dont fit in and are worthless


Yes, same here. All of my regression experiences come from my time in grades 1-3, and a few other times as well. I remember those times being really hard times for me. I went to a religious school, and they prided themselves on "helping" students, and would say things like "We never give up on our kids." Well, they did this though spanking and relentless punishment (within the laws of course) for the "bad kids". I remember times I had to go to the principle's office to get spanked. And he was a big guy with a big leather belt. Who would have known that those daily whippings would cause something like DP later in life? I was just a kid trying to be heard, that's why I acted out. But they were too inverted to even think to ask what was wrong. There were other factors of course, but this one just comes to mind. That's interesting how you noticed that Ali.


----------



## Isobel (Aug 11, 2004)

Ken, its suprising how much you notice when your stuck in with this hell all day 
lol

:wink:

xx


----------



## Manof_theFuture (Dec 14, 2013)

kenc127 said:


> Yes, same here. All of my regression experiences come from my time in grades 1-3, and a few other times as well. I remember those times being really hard times for me. I went to a religious school, and they prided themselves on "helping" students, and would say things like "We never give up on our kids." Well, they did this though spanking and relentless punishment (within the laws of course) for the "bad kids". I remember times I had to go to the principle's office to get spanked. And he was a big guy with a big leather belt. Who would have known that those daily whippings would cause something like DP later in life? I was just a kid trying to be heard, that's why I acted out. But they were too inverted to even think to ask what was wrong. There were other factors of course, but this one just comes to mind. That's interesting how you noticed that Ali.


I too was a private school dweller...i used to get whippings and spankings back when i was like ages 2 -6...i suffered terrible treatmeant for and i noticed most of my random memories and dreams keep taking me back there but i couldnt quite put a finger on why but your post is starting me down a good path also it seems like for years i have just been blocking these memories out exluding the psychological torment that comes with basically being abused...i remeber one time i brought a pokemon game to school(.right after some loony pastor convinced alot of churches that pokemon was the devil) ill never forget having to stand in front of the whole school and staff..and fucking apologize for bringing a "demonic" game to school...shit man lol now that you got me thinking that really can fuck a person up big time


----------



## SheWontFollow (Apr 16, 2013)

I get memory flashes all the time. They make me very uncomfortable. The memories are not negative though. I hope this is a good sign.


----------



## Manof_theFuture (Dec 14, 2013)

This started occurring for me in the last stages before I felt about 95% recovered which was a good level to be at bu now im back to the memory flashes started like 2 days ago but has progressively gotten better... just the vivid dreams are what worry me I think the start of my new job at the movies helped me ignore the symptoms for a bit but some how it came back to me but I must keep pushing this could just be the last stages idk


----------

