# My recovery story: from suicidal to normal again...



## fakeaccount332 (Jan 16, 2008)

It all started the begining of December 07 after a bad weed trip. When I wasnt feeling right by the beginning of January I started to panick and everything got worse. I got myself worked up and wasnt sleeping well and thats when I got suicidal. I went to see a psychiatrist and he put me on lamictal. I started doing better -- now i think it was just a placebo effect. The worst part came about 6 weeks into the lamictal ... i had this empty feeling in my head that was driving me crazy...I was thinking about how i was gonna kill myself. Luckily I started getting more sleep with the help of ativan and i stopped taking the lamictal. My empty spot in my head went away and slowly i started to feel more like myself. Now I'm about 90 to 95 percent of myself. Im still not sleeping real well but Ive had insomnia many times before so i know this will go away and all will be normal again. The funny thing is how it all started to get back to normal only after reaching rock bottom. The climb back up was pretty quick.

I'm not real sure what snapped me out of it. Maybe I just got tired of feeling so shitty. Maybe it was when I began to accpet that I had this problem and it was making me very anxious and depressed. I dont know, Im sorry I cant be of more help in that area but I can ensure you that you can get better. i was planning to kill myself because i was convinced i would never feel like myself again. I couldt imagine ever feeling normal again after feeling the way i did. i still dont understand how things are back to normal but they are. So hang in there, ride this thing out, it does go away.


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## ank (Mar 18, 2008)

do you have msn and can i add you ?

i would really like to talk about this with you!

x ank

{[email protected])


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## Coming?Back2Life (Oct 20, 2006)

since december 07?

U lucky basstard... ive had this insanity 6 years


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## fakeaccount332 (Jan 16, 2008)

My Dp/Dr is gone, so I feel like myself. I just feel like a very very miserable me. I'm sure this will go away in time too.


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## DRyan (Jan 19, 2008)

some get better, some don't


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

Maybe you had an allergic reaction to weed. I've read that some do and that they experience DP for some time due to it and then it goes away. Good to hear you are feeling better.


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## foggymoggy (Apr 24, 2008)

DRyan said:


> some get better, some don't


I think that is a really bad way to look at it. Some don't get better because they don't learn how to defeat it. Reading that post you sent just made me feel very down and more anxious. Negativity gets you nowhere. People come on these boards for help, reassurance, guidance and positivity not 'some just don't get better' talk, because in a DP/DR sufferers mind, they'll think that's going to be them for sre and what they're doomed to be for the rest of their life ...detatched and hollow.

It's so hard to rinse your mind of bad thoughts but in order to get the best out of this HORRIFIC situation, you might aswell try and see the best possible outcomes rather than wollow in it.


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## bobby_brown (Apr 24, 2008)

I think there is a huge difference between people who have experienced depersonalization for year or two and those who have had it for many years. i agree that if you have experienced DP for only a short time (though many might say that a year or so is not short) it sure is the best way to hope its going away and hope for the best. but if you have had it for many years, at some point you must accept that it is going to stay and that this you and nothing else. if you hope that something goes away all of your life and it doesn't, what a life is this? i have learned to accept myself the way I am (from reading the posts here I must also say that my DP is probably not very strong comparing to some others here). sure it is confusing and I sure feel lonesome and disconnected sometimes but on the other hand, being disconnected also gives you the chance to look at things in a different way! I must sometimes laugh to myself when I see people getting upset about so unimportant things like when someone else takes their right of way in traffic or so and then I think "haha, this guy gets angry because such a thing while I am actually wondering if it is all real or not"... . I think the most important thing if you have experienced DP for a longer time is to try not to isolate yourself too much from other people because that will at some point make you feel mad. if you have just had it for a shorter time it sure is important to not force anything, not yourself and also not your condition because DP is something that gets stronger, the more you focus on it (at least that is my experience).


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