# My story and my recovery journey



## my_name_is_idk (Jul 31, 2021)

Hi everyone, I am a 16 year old student and I live in Italy. Unfortunately I too, like many of you, got DPDR from weed. But now I'll tell you my story better.

I have always been a sociable girl, full of friends, and with a very quiet life (never had problems with family or anything like that). But unfortunately my excessive curiosity led me to try alcohol and weed several times. Whenever I have tried these substances, I have never experienced any sensation of DPDR, until one night everything changed.

It was 11 July 2021 (yes I know, it was a few weeks ago) and with some friends, I decided to smoke some weed, the effect was the same as always, after the "peak" everything was back as i was before. The next day though, I had a panic attack while sleeping, and from that day on I started having DR 24/7. It was a nightmare. These were my symptoms:


constant feeling of being in a dream
difficulty in distinguishing reality and dream
feeling of being inside a bubble
no emotion and feeling
strange memory (yesterday seemed to have been years ago)

I started crying, panicking, I felt so far from everything around me. I couldn't recognize my family members, and even their hugs made me feel nothing. I was terrified of being in public and talking to people. So I decided to go to a psychologist, who immediately told me that what I was experiencing was an episode of dissociation and that it was all caused by excessive agitation / anxiety. So I started to calm down.

I searched the internet for several recovery / treatment stories, and found Shaun O'Connor's site, which helped me tremendously to understand what I was going through. I even downloaded his manual (which I still read when I happen to feel down). I decided to take a little vacation, to distract myself, and it helped a lot. I haven't tried exercise, healthy diet, or meditation but I will try them as soon as I get home (yeah I'm still on vacation ). 

At the moment I feel I am on the road to recovery, I would say that I am 75% from healing. I can live my days without excessive anxiety or worry, I am no longer afraid of being in public or talking to other people.I still can't feel emotions like I used to, but I think I will get my emotions back a soon as I fully recover. And i also feel a little detached from people , but I feel I can do it. And you can too! I will update you in a few months to let you know how it goes !! Kisses, and good recovery to all <3


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## Damilola (Aug 4, 2021)

i experienced dp after a ‘bad trip’ from smoking weed a few weeks ago too, it was horrible the first few days but now I understand that I am real & present, most of the major distressing symptoms of dp have faded or do no longer apply to me as of the moment. & i am grateful for the progress so far in such a short time 

my biggest issue right now is my mind. my conscious mind. experiencing dp can be so strenuous on the mind & body, honestly. & i think one of my problems now is constantly trying to compare how i am now & how i was before i had dp. i understand i am still the same person, but it’s taking a toll on me. 

could it be my mind just playing games ( is it all in my head), or am I overthinking, or do I still have dp ( which I doubt, cause I do not feel ‘unreal’ ). 

i would appreciate your genuine response, & i also hope you are doing great now. x


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## my_name_is_idk (Jul 31, 2021)

Damilola said:


> i experienced dp after a ‘bad trip’ from smoking weed a few weeks ago too, it was horrible the first few days but now I understand that I am real & present, most of the major distressing symptoms of dp have faded or do no longer apply to me as of the moment. & i am grateful for the progress so far in such a short time
> 
> my biggest issue right now is my mind. my conscious mind. experiencing dp can be so strenuous on the mind & body, honestly. & i think one of my problems now is constantly trying to compare how i am now & how i was before i had dp. i understand i am still the same person, but it’s taking a toll on me.
> 
> ...


Hi, I'm still recovering at the moment.I have ups and downs (as happens very often during the recovery period). I too have this problem of constantly checking if the DP (in my case DR) is still there with me, and I this is what is keeping me "away" from fully recover. Obviously it's all in our head, DPDR is not a mental illness, but a disorder that can be 100% cured, we just have to wait for our brains and minds to relax. Everything will be fine, we will all get out of it and everything will be just a bad memory <3


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## Damilola (Aug 4, 2021)

yes we will come out of this, i can’t wait honestly. good to hear you’re doing your best ! you also mentioned something about shaun o connor’s manual, has that been of great help? & also can i get any of your socials so i can keep in touch, would mean the world to me. x


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## my_name_is_idk (Jul 31, 2021)

Damilola said:


> yes we will come out of this, i can’t wait honestly. good to hear you’re doing your best ! you also mentioned something about shaun o connor’s manual, has that been of great help? & also can i get any of your socials so i can keep in touch, would mean the world to me. x


Yes, I downloaded Shaun's manual which helped me a lot to understand what was happening to me, and how I could avoid escalating the problem. Yes of course, if you want we can talk on Snapchat or Instagram


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## Damilola (Aug 4, 2021)

alright perfect! what is your instagram @ ?


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## my_name_is_idk (Jul 31, 2021)

Damilola said:


> alright perfect! what is your instagram @ ?


it's @giulytroisii


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## Damilola (Aug 4, 2021)

alright i sent a request from @madefromgunsandpetals 
please accept my request x.


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## jegor (Aug 6, 2021)

my_name_is_idk said:


> Hi everyone, I am a 16 year old student and I live in Italy. Unfortunately I too, like many of you, got DPDR from weed. But now I'll tell you my story better.
> 
> I have always been a sociable girl, full of friends, and with a very quiet life (never had problems with family or anything like that). But unfortunately my excessive curiosity led me to try alcohol and weed several times. Whenever I have tried these substances, I have never experienced any sensation of DPDR, until one night everything changed.
> 
> ...


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