# When you have anxiety and panic, "good times" looked back on feel more like "good moments".



## PeaceSeeker (May 31, 2018)

I'm a male in my mid-20's.


Panic disorder has conquered my life, and it has made me appreciate the most trivial moments during the times that I am experiencing the least amount of discomfort, even if it's just a few hours. It is very upsetting when what feels like almost the entirety of my livelihood has been robbed from me, from going places, to traveling, visiting doctors/appointments, exercising, participating in events, working, even to somehow better my life, or even just sitting in the comfort of my own living space, which also has become more and more of a challenge. Between the constant worrying, compulsive thoughts, and the hypersensitivities of certain sensations in my body, I feel like a lugging internally-claustrophobic conscious piece of meat that is not functioning with no purpose and is so vulnerable to my own self, and my surroundings. I cannot take this panic disorder anymore, and I can no longer take the symptoms that come with it. I no longer have an ounce of control over these negative worries or feelings, whether mental or physical. With how incompetent, dismissive, clueless, and misinformed doctors are nowadays, and no real solution without any sort of clarity or answers, and large obstacles in the way, the smallest and even dumbest parts of my life have become so precious, while the largest, most productive and important are now hard to grasp. I now look at the world from a larger, more external viewpoint, of how crappy and imperfect this universe is, and how useless my life is on this planet, serving no other purpose but to suffer and become a parasite to those around me. If your suffering so much, and your doctor just says "you're a little nervous, that's all", find another damn doctor.


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## Saschasascha (Dec 17, 2015)

Hey PeaceSeeker,
this is a well written post and I can relate to a lot of things you are saying.
Have you tried medication?


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## PeaceSeeker (May 31, 2018)

Saschasascha said:


> Hey PeaceSeeker,
> this is a well written post and I can relate to a lot of things you are saying.
> Have you tried medication?


 Some medication is nice, but it only works for a little while. Also, doctors are always playing around with the meds, even if I bring up uncomfortable side effects that will make things worse, they are dismissive, expensive, hard to negotiate with, or try to taper me off ones that have
worked. Luckily, I'm not stupid and do research on detrimental ones I almost took, so I end up being the one suggesting prescriptions I feel comfortable at least trying. Medicine, as an industry, is so backwards these days, finding a doctor, that even accepts insurance, and one that wants to listen, to get down to the bottom of things, even if they need to hear the patient out, or, use a controversial medicine to take baby steps, just to improve my life and understand when I tell them, the other meds will make everything worse for me because of the hypochondria and sensitivities, they don't care to listen, they just seem so uninterested in what I even have to say. It feels like my voice will never be heard, and I'll never get the proper help I need.


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