# How does DP/DR affect your sexual life (if at all?)



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

Does it affect your libido, your performance, your perception of your partner? I've had problems keeping an erection lately and was wondering if DP/DR could have anything to do with it. Obviously, it's a stressful situation and DP/DR doesn't help but I was wondering if it could be the root of the problem. Anyways, I know I'm not becoming impotent in the classical sense, judging by the perfect erections I sometimes have when I wake up. Not sure if I should go see a doctor or a shrink. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post, I'm just trying to find out the cause of this problem.


----------



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

UncleSeb said:


> Does it affect your libido, your performance, your perception of your partner? I've had problems keeping an erection lately and was wondering if DP/DR could have anything to do with it. Obviously, it's a stressful situation and DP/DR doesn't help but I was wondering if it could be the root of the problem. Anyways, I know I'm not becoming impotent in the classical sense, judging by the perfect erections I sometimes have when I wake up. Not sure if I should go see a doctor or a shrink. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post, I'm just trying to find out the cause of this problem.


I dont think it's just you! Myself and others I know with DP have the same problem. Even with Viagra it can be a issue. Libido is mainly in the mind, and if you are distracted or DP/DR is kicking in, your lower half may not work like it used to...

I found things work best when I am calm and with someone that I am 100% comfortable with. Sometimes talking to your partner really helps the problem go away!


----------



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

I could only see it being a problem if you are older and living with dp/dr, or if you are taking medication. Most psychotrophic medications are known to be libido killers. Even on the days when my energy levels are low, I don't seem to have a problem getting aroused :shock: Maybe that is just me though :? Excercise, eating lots of fruit and a little bit of sugar will definetly enhance the sex drive. Go get em partner!


----------



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

Pure Narcotic said:


> I could only see it being a problem if you are older and living with dp/dr, or if you are taking medication. Most psychotrophic medications are known to be libido killers. Even on the days when my energy levels are low, I don't seem to have a problem getting aroused :shock: Maybe that is just me though :? Excercise, eating lots of fruit and a little bit of sugar will definetly enhance the sex drive. Go get em partner!


Well I dont know how old is old, but I am 36.... Unless I am perfectly relaxed I find it hard to concentrate and 'keep it up'. My doctor gave me Dextaphetamin for the concentration and Viagra... It physically helps, but I am still very emotionally detatched from the actual Sex ACT itself... I miss that...

Exercise is great too!!! Word of warning, stay away from Grapefruit!!! I have had numerous doctors warn me of grapefuit if I am taking ANY meds.... Also my dose of 3mg of Clonopin a day doesnt help matters either!


----------



## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

worst thing i ever did was mix grapefruit juice with a a buttload of shrooms. worst day of my life. 

effexor made me so numb physically and emotionally that i went out and screwed as much as i could cause i was so desperate to feel something. and plus i just didnt care. i felt like nothing could hurt me and there were no consequences and if there were i wouldnt have cared anyways.

i notice though that wellbutrin may be effecting my drive now cause i rarely.. if EVER get horny. i mean i do.. but its like it doesnt matter like i could live without it and libido is more of a niusance than anything else. i got better sh!t to do than waste time playing with myself. :roll:


----------



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

[quote name="sleepingbeauty"]
cause i was so desperate to feel something. and plus i just didnt care. i felt like nothing could hurt me and there were no consequences and if there were i wouldnt have cared anyways.



> You described it to the head of a nail... Check out Alexithymia.... I think all DP/DR people have it...
> 
> http://www.self-injury-abuse-trauma-dir ... thymia.htm
> 
> ...


----------



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

Lancelot said:


> You described it to the head of a nail... Check out Alexithymia.... I think all DP/DR people have it...


Well, I can only speak for myself but I do have difficulties speaking about my feelings because I'm not too sure what I'm feeling most of the time. When people ask me how I'm doing, I answer things like "fine, I suppose" which tends to surprise those who don't know me well enough. I have to think hard for a while and write things down before going to the shrink because I am truly unable to explain the bloke what's wrong with me, what was wrong yesterday, let alone what has been wrong in the past few months or years. I found that notes do help.

But again, is it DP/DR that creates Alexithymia or the other way round or is it yet something else that causes these two? Is there even a causal link? We're back to the primary/secundary thingie again, aren't we?

Interesting read anyway, thanks Lancelot!


----------



## Guest (Dec 21, 2004)

UncleSeb said:


> Lancelot said:
> 
> 
> > You described it to the head of a nail... Check out Alexithymia.... I think all DP/DR people have it...
> ...


The best way I can describe Alexithymia for me is smelling and seeing a red rose.... A day later I remember it, remeber being there but cant but any feelings of the smell or color towards emotions.... It's very one dimensional... It's the lack of attachment of emotions to actions/circumstances.... I think DPD people (esp with PSTD) do a great job of blocking that out...


----------



## Inflammed (Aug 10, 2004)

DP is strong...but not as strong as love for me...

In all my 10 years of DP/DR, there was only 2 times I really had to stop during intercourse 'caus I was feeling too bad...exercisse made it worse.

Love os one of the feelings I feel so much...it gets to my core and enlight it...and I express it the more I can so it's a very regenerating process for me.

To me love is in total adversity to DP/DR...


----------



## Guest (Dec 22, 2004)

Of course it is affecting your libido sleeping beauty. You are what, 25, 26 years old? You seem like a flamboyant gal and I can't see anything else causing it. I bet if you were to stop taking it for 2 weeks then it would come back with a vengeance! I know how you feel though. Don't let those meds make you a zombie! That is not living!


----------



## sleepingbeauty (Aug 18, 2004)

:shock: GAH.

thats EXACTLY what i have. if im in a situation where i have to talk about my emotions and feelings i feel totally backed into a corner. especially when it comes to expressing love for another person and even more when it comes to expressing love for a person i really really love. it tricks me into thinking that i must not really love that person if i cant show them and tell them how much i love them. thats why im so quick to use a "ahhh f#ck it who cares" and bury my head in the sand. both of my parents have this as well. i mean they tell me they love me all the time.. but its always either goofing around or making light of it or feeling awkward when saying it. giving hugs is like painful for me. being all touchy feely is nasty to me i hate it it makes me feel trapped. but at the same time it makes me incredibly depressed because i dont think ive ever actually made love its always been just plain old screwing. even when i do know i love that person.. it still feels very mechanical to me like im going through the motions and the whole time i feel totally detached. i guess it wouldnt be a big deal if i didnt know in my heart thats not what i really want. i want to feel a connection but i barely feel connected with myself so how am i supposed to connect to my partner??


----------



## Guest (Dec 26, 2004)

--


----------



## Guest (Dec 26, 2004)

no problems here

matter of fact its something im looking to participate in on a more frequent basis in 2005 

I think it wouldbe almost impossible to ruin my sex drive, even when im older, i think im gonna be one of those horny old men, hahaha

thats a long ways away though, if i make it that far.


----------



## Guest (Dec 26, 2004)

Um, for me it seems to be more psychological than anything. I don't really have a sex life. I mean, I have a normal sex drive, I think...although I have desire for female companionship physical and emotional, I tend to withdraw from other people, though this might have nothing to do with DR.


----------

