# This place is AWESOME



## sunyata samsara

I never knew there was a forum full of people just like me. Unlike most on here I enjoy DP. Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks


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## York

Every now and then people come on this forum and say this. Let me be clear: If you enjoy it, IT'S NOT DEPERSONALIZATION.

There are better places to be if you're having such a fuckin great time, than a forum for people in total despair.

Go share your Buddha mind with someone who doesn't want to strangle you.


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## Guest

sunyata samsara said:


> I never knew there was a forum full of people just like me. Unlike most on here I enjoy DP. Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks


hello sunyata.. thanks for being here and sharing your positive outlook.. I appreciate you being here.


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## Visual

sunyata samsara said:


> I never knew there was a forum full of people just like me. Unlike most on here I enjoy DP. Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks


What is it that you enjoy about your DP? (Most of us don't much like it)


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## Guest

you dont have dp. just leave.


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## codeblue213

I have hope now said:


> you dont have dp. just leave.


Agreed.


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## Brando2600

I have hope now said:


> you dont have dp. just leave.


Sorry sunyata, gotta go with the flow on this one.


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## howmuchforhappy

Well I don't think it's fair people are saying you don't have DP because you say you enjoy it. I can see how some people may "enjoy" it because it can be a relief to them in a way.. After all isn't a reason for getting DP to help numb feelings of emotion and reality? When you become depressed or your emotions are just too strong for you to handle then yes, I can see how one may say they "enjoy" having DP to help numb feelings of emotional pain. However if this isn't the case and you don't think the reason you have DP is because you can't handle how harsh reality may be, then I don't see how the experience can be enjoyable unless you explain.


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## sunyata samsara

What do I enjoy about it? The more I experience DP the happier I am, last night for example I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at myself and reality. Laughing at that I'm suppose to be a person and believe in reality, seeig through the illusion and various delusions people have about everything. It's not amusing that everything you've ever known is based on seeing things a certain way aka conditioning? I think yalls problem is seeing the world as real and thinking your wrong and believing what everyone else thinks.


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## sunyata samsara

Descarte said "I think therefore I am." Thats wrong, it should be I think therefore I think I am.


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## Fluke93

sunyata samsara said:


> What do I enjoy about it? The more I experience DP the happier I am, last night for example I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at myself and reality. Laughing at that I'm suppose to be a person and believe in reality, seeig through the illusion and various delusions people have about everything. It's not amusing that everything you've ever known is based on seeing things a certain way aka conditioning? I think yalls problem is seeing the world as real and thinking your wrong and believing what everyone else thinks.


People with DP do see the world differently, but its more distorted. For me its like looking through the world in a fog it effects the way i think, the way i feel, and it makes me numb. What are actually your symptoms? You have not really answered what you like about it to be honest. Do you like any of the symptoms of this mental disorder?


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## sunyata samsara

Fluke said:


> People with DP do see the world differently, but its more distorted. For me its like looking through the world in a fog it effects the way i think, the way i feel, and it makes me numb. What are actually your symptoms? You have not really answered what you like about it to be honest. Do you like any of the symptoms of this mental disorder?


I dont think its a disorder. I think its just a deeper way of viewing reality, thats why i like it. Symptoms yeah my memory is jacked up but i dont care. First time i got locked up i guess i went into it harder than normal since i couldnt remember my gf's name for 2 weeks lulz. The anxiety is annoying as fuck on one level but i know its just unconscious energy being released, its wierd having my energy all berserk but i channel it, and if im to lazy to do that it will give me muscle spasms. The only emotions i experience are bliss, love and rage. Time distortion, the first day at my job felt like i had been doing it for years. I work over 12 hour days and a week feels like a day, its funny when monday rolls around i think good its almost the weekend lol. People trying to insult me or control how i feel doesnt work because there is no me to give a shit so I like that . Im a total loner because i cant connect with anyone since im not anyone and havent had a friend in 7 years and doesnt bother me none. Im made of energy instead of ego. The list could just go on and on.


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## sunyata samsara

york said:


> Every now and then people come on this forum and say this. Let me be clear: If you enjoy it, IT'S NOT DEPERSONALIZATION.
> 
> There are better places to be if you're having such a fuckin great time, than a forum for people in total despair.
> 
> Go share your Buddha mind with someone who doesn't want to strangle you.


u mad?


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## April

sunyata samsara said:


> I dont think its a disorder. I think its just a deeper way of viewing reality, thats why i like it. Symptoms yeah my memory is jacked up but i dont care. First time i got locked up i guess i went into it harder than normal since i couldnt remember my gf's name for 2 weeks lulz. The anxiety is annoying as fuck on one level but i know its just unconscious energy being released, its wierd having my energy all berserk but i channel it, and if im to lazy to do that it will give me muscle spasms. The only emotions i experience are bliss, love and rage. Time distortion, the first day at my job felt like i had been doing it for years. I work over 12 hour days and a week feels like a day, its funny when monday rolls around i think good its almost the weekend lol. People trying to insult me or control how i feel doesnt work because there is no me to give a shit so i like that. Im a total loner because i cant connect with anyone since im not anyone and havent had a friend in 7 years and doesnt bother me none. Im made of energy instead of ego. The list could just go on and on.


But that is just the thing it IS a disorder. It isn't a deeper way of viewing reality nor is it some greater truth that you have stumbled upon. It is, simply and rather unfortunately, a disorder, a mistake, a problem and in no way an advantage. This whole "new reality" you are experiencing is just a result of a chemical or neurological mistake in your brain (in my case Temporal Lobe Epilepsy)you are not special and it is not some great insight. If anything your reality is phony because, although it may seem like a deeper reality, it is just your brain tricking you. A few chemicals have made you believe that you have somehow stepped out of the matrix and are laughing at all those still in it but in actual fact your reality is the least real of all.

I think you should maybe see someone. It's not good to loose contact with people or forget about people who love you. I am standing on the outside wiht you and all I want to do is get back in. Reality to me is being able to really feel the sun and really touch the people I love. I feel like I am watching life pass me by and I would do anything to step back on board. I would, with all my heart, like to be back inside the matrix with everyone else because that is reality to me and I am truly jealous that this condition does not tear you apart like it does me.


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## sunyata samsara

April said:


> But that is just the thing it IS a disorder. It isn't a deeper way of viewing reality nor is it some greater truth that you have stumbled upon. It is, simply and rather unfortunately, a disorder, a mistake, a problem and in no way an advantage. This whole "new reality" you are experiencing is just a result of a chemical or neurological mistake in your brain (in my case Temporal Lobe Epilepsy)you are not special and it is not some great insight. If anything your reality is phony because, although it may seem like a deeper reality, it is just your brain tricking you. A few chemicals have made you believe that you have somehow stepped out of the matrix and are laughing at all those still in it but in actual fact your reality is the least real of all.
> 
> I think you should maybe see someone. It's not good to loose contact with people or forget about people who love you. I am standing on the outside wiht you and all I want to do is get back in. Reality to me is being able to really feel the sun and really touch the people I love. I feel like I am watching life pass me by and I would do anything to step back on board. I would, with all my heart, like to be back inside the matrix with everyone else because that is reality to me and I am truly jealous that this condition does not tear you apart like it does me.


It is different and i know what makes it different, it is a more unconditioned state. Ive spent my entire adult life trying to uncondition my mind through meditation. Meditation is the process of unconditioning your mind and its slow going, psychedelics uncondition your mind quickly thats why psychedelics are felonies. The government and religion dont want want you to uncondition your mind because then you wont be controlled by them. You say its a disorder, it depends on your perspective. Psychology is just another form of control. Think about it they label you such and such and give you drugs so you will be a certain way or they get you to agree you are wrong and you go through talk therapy and they mold you, they shape how you think, feel and act so you will fit in with the society you find yourself in, and they do this through you accepting conditioning. To the people on here that say i dont have DP, my name is Justin and I feel like i am 0% Justin, i say the word it sounds weird, i try to identify with it and it seems absurd.


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## Brando2600

[Image changed]
[Insert "SUNYATA, Y U NO HATE DP?" meme here]


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## Surfingisfun001

If bliss and love is being experienced then I'm pretty sure you are experiencing something different than most users on this forum. I find what you write interesting though. I had a realization right before DP happened and with this realization came feelings of bliss and love, and transcendence. I felt at one within for 3 weeks and then began experiencing "depersonalization" which has been the complete opposite experience. No bliss and love anymore just pure torment. I'm interested in hearing how you became depersonalized. Have you written your story out on here? You may find this place interesting... My [URL=linkhttp://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth]linkhttp://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth.info/[/URL]


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## Visual

sunyata samsara said:


> I never knew there was a forum full of people just like me. Unlike most on here I enjoy DP. Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks


*I dont think its a disorder. I think its just a deeper way of viewing reality, thats why i like it&#8230; You say its a disorder, it depends on your perspective.*

In a way you seem to be managing your situation well. You have rather a unique viewpoint about your DP and your posts are interesting (despite getting some negative votes).

*Ive spent my entire adult life trying to uncondition my mind through meditation*

Why? Was there something you were running from? Something you didn't like?

*People trying to insult me or control how i feel doesnt work because there is no me to give a shit so I like that*

What was it people were this way about? Is this about after DP or before DP?

*i couldnt remember my gf's name for 2 weeks lulz&#8230; Im a total loner because i cant connect with anyone since im not anyone and havent had a friend in 7 years*

Do you miss having friends? Or do you just accept it? Do you want friends?

*The government and religion dont want want you to uncondition your mind because then you wont be controlled by them*

In some regards this is true - they want you to conform to their ideologies. But this is true of peer pressure and other things. Lots of people get real insecure about others being different. Hence problems like racism and class distinction.

In the end, everyone should think and feel for himself or herself. And at the heart of a lot of therapies, is developing positive self-view. But it is also important to get along with others. So there is a balance between self and group conformity. It is really no big deal. Ultimately, if a situation gets too intolerable, people leave it (such as the middle east these days).

*The anxiety is annoying as fuck on one level but i know its just unconscious energy being released, its wierd having my energy all berserk but i channel it, and if im to lazy to do that it will give me muscle spasms.*

So you do have anxiety to deal with?

*The only emotions i experience are bliss, love and rage*

So you feel emotions, it is lack of feeling real.

*To the people on here that say i dont have DP, my name is Justin and I feel like i am 0% Justin, i say the word it sounds weird, i try to identify with it and it seems absurd.*

Much of what you describe is DPish. It seems only that you enjoy it and that is a big difference. Since DPD is a medical diagnosis, technically a doctor would be the one to decide.

*Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks*

It is a great site. You are appreciated too (even if controversial







)


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## sunyata samsara

Visual Dude said:


> *I dont think its a disorder. I think its just a deeper way of viewing reality, thats why i like it&#8230; You say its a disorder, it depends on your perspective.*
> 
> In a way you seem to be managing your situation well. You have rather a unique viewpoint about your DP and your posts are interesting (despite getting some negative votes).
> 
> *Ive spent my entire adult life trying to uncondition my mind through meditation*
> 
> Why? Was there something you were running from? Something you didn't like?
> 
> *People trying to insult me or control how i feel doesnt work because there is no me to give a shit so I like that*
> 
> What was it people were this way about? Is this about after DP or before DP?
> 
> *i couldnt remember my gf's name for 2 weeks lulz&#8230; Im a total loner because i cant connect with anyone since im not anyone and havent had a friend in 7 years*
> 
> Do you miss having friends? Or do you just accept it? Do you want friends?
> 
> *The government and religion dont want want you to uncondition your mind because then you wont be controlled by them*
> 
> In some regards this is true - they want you to conform to their ideologies. But this is true of peer pressure and other things. Lots of people get real insecure about others being different. Hence problems like racism and class distinction.
> 
> In the end, everyone should think and feel for himself or herself. And at the heart of a lot of therapies, is developing positive self-view. But it is also important to get along with others. So there is a balance between self and group conformity. It is really no big deal. Ultimately, if a situation gets too intolerable, people leave it (such as the middle east these days).
> 
> *The anxiety is annoying as fuck on one level but i know its just unconscious energy being released, its wierd having my energy all berserk but i channel it, and if im to lazy to do that it will give me muscle spasms.*
> 
> So you do have anxiety to deal with?
> 
> *The only emotions i experience are bliss, love and rage*
> 
> So you feel emotions, it is lack of feeling real.
> 
> *To the people on here that say i dont have DP, my name is Justin and I feel like i am 0% Justin, i say the word it sounds weird, i try to identify with it and it seems absurd.*
> 
> Much of what you describe is DPish. It seems only that you enjoy it and that is a big difference. Since DPD is a medical diagnosis, technically a doctor would be the one to decide.
> 
> *Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks*
> 
> It is a great site. You are appreciated too (even if controversial
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> )


You have a unique viewpoint and posts are interesting.

Thanks I enjoy your posts as well.

Why try to uncondition my mind? Was i running from something?

I guess you could say im running from suffering but i see it as running to truth. Im a Buddhist and the goal is to uncondition your mind so you can experience reality naturally without conditioning.

What was it people were this way about?

People try to control your mind DP or not. Example someone calls you a name to make you feel bad and since there is no self to feel bad you remain unaffected. Thats just one of myriad examples. If you want to know what i really meant read a great book called In Sheeps Clothing Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People. Its a must read for everyone. It talks about how people try to manipulate the way you feel and think.

Do you miss friends? Do you accept it? Do you want friends?

No. Yes. No. Ive come into contact with cool people i could of made friends but i dont like being around people.

They want you to conform to ideologies, this is true of peer pressure and other things.

Im not a fan of conforming or having views and thats why i dont do the social thing.

Do i have anxiety?

Not on a conscious level but on an unconscious level. It expresses itself as tension, electrical vibrations or muscle spasms.

So you feel emotions?

Sort of. Its feeling or emotion on an energetic level. Rage is the feeling of releasing all my tension and energy, its all furious and intense. It happens after i cant suppress emotion any more. Love is the feeling of my energy flowing smoothly without tension. I have to consciously be aware of the energy in my body and eventually i get to that state. Bliss is a surge of energy in my body that feels like an epic orgasm, its a temporary release of the tension. Not sure how that works but its like the opposite of crying, it is a release like crying but the energy doesnt really get released just surged and mixed around. Rage is a total release of tension, love is like medicating the tension and bliss is like temporary relief of tension.

A doctor should diagnose it.

Ive seen psychiatrists i never say anything to them. They just assume i have depression and give antidepressants.

You are appreciated too even if controversial.

Thanks Haters Gonna Hate

file:///Users/Justin/Documents/:b:/haters%20gonna%20hate3.jpg


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## never_giving_up

If I didn't want to feel emotions or think that the world around me was real, if I wanted to feel disconnected from people, from my body and from my self then with DP I would be having the most awesome time of my life.

Unfortunately I want all these things.

I used to go down the "everything is an illusion" route until I realised that without others it was just emptiness. When I came face to face with a reality that I was all alone I couldn't take it and instantly tried to kill myself. That's where thinking like that got me.

I don't think it came out of nowhere though. There was a specific reason why I had been thinking like that. It was because deep down I already felt alone. I had never really connected with another human being because none had been able to connect with me.

My search for freedom from this pain led me right square in to it. I was confronted with the original betrayal. My life had largely been a dream, an empty lie. It had been a lone journey.

I have a second chance now. I know my pain better and I long for a life filled with love and companionship.

I think we are nothing alone. We need each other to be happy. With DP you cannot be happy because this vital connection has been severed.

While you say you enjoy DP, I think you are kidding yourself. While there may be some relative relief from pain, what lies beneath it is a desperate loneliness. You can run from it for now but you won't be able to live this lie for long. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.


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## never_giving_up

[deleted]


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## sunyata samsara

never_giving_up said:


> If I didn't want to feel emotions or think that the world around me was real, if I wanted to feel disconnected from people, from my body and from my self then with DP I would be having the most awesome time of my life.
> 
> Unfortunately I want all these things.
> 
> I used to go down the "everything is an illusion" route until I realised that without others it was just emptiness. When I came face to face with a reality that I was all alone I couldn't take it and instantly tried to kill myself. That's where thinking like that got me.
> 
> I don't think it came out of nowhere though. There was a specific reason why I had been thinking like that. It was because deep down I already felt alone. I had never really connected with another human being because none had been able to connect with me.
> 
> My search for freedom from this pain led me right square in to it. I was confronted with the original betrayal. My life had largely been a dream, an empty lie. It had been a lone journey.
> 
> I have a second chance now. I know my pain better and I long for a life filled with love and companionship.
> 
> I think we are nothing alone. We need each other to be happy. With DP you cannot be happy because this vital connection has been severed.
> 
> While you say you enjoy DP, I think you are kidding yourself. While there may be some relative relief from pain, what lies beneath it is a desperate loneliness. You can run from it for now but you won't be able to live this lie for long. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.


Im actually jealous of people who have extreme DP/DR. I seek this loneliness you see as bad. There is another term for nirvana and thats kaivalya which means solitariness, detachment, aloneness, isolation. I think nirvana comes from the most extreme form of DP/DR. Nirvana comes from total sense withdrawal and i think DP/DR is partial sense withdrawal, think about it. It is said nirvana is neither perception nor non perception and the highest bliss, what i think it is is being conscious of the unconscious so you are aware but there is nothing to be aware of, there is only emptiness, no me no other just pure experience.


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## Visual

sunyata samsara said:


> Im actually jealous of people who have extreme DP/DR. I seek this loneliness you see as bad. There is another term for nirvana and thats kaivalya which means solitariness, detachment, aloneness, isolation. I think nirvana comes from the most extreme form of DP/DR. Nirvana comes from total sense withdrawal and i think DP/DR is partial sense withdrawal, think about it. It is said nirvana is neither perception nor non perception and the highest bliss, what i think it is is being conscious of the unconscious so you are aware but there is nothing to be aware of, there is only emptiness, no me no other just pure experience.


I guess I am the one who is egocentric









To me, life is a journey of increasing reality. Learning and relearning that will never end. Yet it is enjoyable to do so. I am unable to cross over the boundry of experience without substance. It seems contrary to my thinking/feeling processes. Nirvana in all forms (except the band) has never appealed or made sence to me.


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## Mrs. M

Trolls? In my DR/DP forum?

You have got to be kidding me.


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## gill

sunyata samsara said:


> Im actually jealous of people who have extreme DP/DR.


But most people would describe extreme dp/dr as a highly confusing and disturbing state... Semantics again?.....


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## Brando2600

Mrs. M said:


> Trolls? In my DR/DP forum?
> 
> You have got to be kidding me.


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## Mrs. M

Brando2600 said:


>


With the way people are feeding the troll, I assumed it wasn't common place.


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## Visual

Mrs. M said:


> With the way people are feeding the troll, I assumed it wasn't common place.












So is it being suggested that Justin might be a troll? And not genuinely seeking nirvana?


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## gill

I doubt it. I think it's just miscommunication.


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## Visual

gill said:


> I doubt it. I think it's just miscommunication.


I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Besides, I've talked to people face to face and had them describe nirvana in similar ways. It always seems to be rooted in dissatisfaction/frustration with life - but, of course, if someone is happy they usually don't want to leave it.


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## gill

It just sounds contradictory to me (and who not) when anyone says 'I enjoy dp', you know.


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## Surfingisfun001

I'm with gill on this one. I'm pretty sure the word depersonalization is being used to describe 2 similar sounding yet very different experiences.


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## flipwilson

I think its incorrect to think being solitary or isolated is at all healthy and would be or should be the goal for people. The human animal is a social creature by nature, we do not seek to be introverted or outcast that is a product of somehow not fitting in. But just because you may be a person on the fringe doesn't mean you don't still long for connection, even if it's with more fringe dwellers. Any state that fucks with orgasm and hunger, both of which can be the two greatest ways to connect on this planet, is not healthy. Biology does not want us to 'rise above' anything, more so it wants us do dig our fingers into the dirt and live life. We are all suffering because our bodies are longing for that and we cannot achieve it. Depersonalization whether it is horrific or blissful is counter to the order of things and even if it has its plus side, what it takes away is far greater and literally life threatening.


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## Mrs. M

His personal icon is the troll face


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## sunyata samsara

Mrs. M said:


> His personal icon is the troll face


Because i think its funny. Im a /b/tard and can troll with the best but i dont troll these forums. My personal icon would be an awesome smiley but it wouldnt let me use it. My desktop is my avi, love that pic.


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## Jayden

If you "enjoy" dp, then you don't fuckin have DP.

Don't come on to a site where people are suffering and trying their hardest to find a cure, and be all like "I like DP".

Thats fucking rude straight up


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## Jayden

Thats like saying, "I actually like cancer".


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## sunyata samsara

Jayd said:


> If you "enjoy" dp, then you don't fuckin have DP.
> 
> Don't come on to a site where people are suffering and trying their hardest to find a cure, and be all like "I like DP".
> 
> Thats fucking rude straight up


I can literally see that all i have ever experienced is a dream aka DR. I have no sense of self aka DP. I agree i dont have a disorder because having a disorder implies theres something wrong with you. If i tried to be normal then i guess i would have a disorder since it affects my trying to fit in.


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## resonantblue

I can definitely see both sides of the argument here. 
Certainly, we have many ideas of sanity and insanity that are socially constructed. Many pre-modern societies considered schizophrenics and people with other mental illnesses as holy or divinely inspired. But even those notions were ultimately socially constructed, no more "true" than saying such people are simply insane. So I guess it all comes down to how you experience your own mental state. If you find it to be the way you want to be, then that's great. However, if it causes you suffering and you want to change it (as do most of us on here), then you have every right to view it as a disorder. It doesn't mean we're all conditioned to see it that way, and you, Sunyata are "above" us. I think that's why people were getting so upset about your comments. And even if DP/DR are some form of "higher consciousness", they're still unbearable in a world/society that aren't yet at that level..
Furthermore, though I think DP/DR can at times allow us to see through many "illusions", they are themselves yet another illusion (especially when they cause fear, which is antithetical to enlightenment..)
DP/DR, at least for me, represent the exact opposite of being in the moment, blissful, surrendered.


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## Visual

Google: "I enjoy cutting myself"

You will find plenty of people who like it. Is it healthy? &#8230; no. Are they being rude saying so?&#8230;no.

*sunyata samsara* started this topic, *This place is AWESOME*

And states, "*I never knew there was a forum full of people just like me. Unlike most on here I enjoy DP. Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks*"

Some positive energy here.

Provided he isn't a troll playing games, how is it rude for him to state he has found a way to stay focused in a state of bliss as a feature of DP and he likes it?

Unless I am misunderstanding when reading his posts, here is a man disliking hard realities, who was treated poorly, unable to afford medical treatment - so he chooses to enjoy unreality like some religious contemplative who finds the world lacking substance.

If any wish to help him, they will need to show acceptance as a person. And provide examples and reasons why reality can be better than his bliss.


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## Mrs. M

sunyata samsara said:


> Because i think its funny. Im a /b/tard and can troll with the best but i dont troll these forums. My personal icon would be an awesome smiley but it wouldnt let me use it. My desktop is my avi, love that pic.


I've been a /b/rother for 5+ years. Taught me not to trust trolls and wary of that face. Though, I suppose todays "trolls" are more akin to children in masks, jumping out and saying "boo!"


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## Brando2600

sunyata samsara said:


> Because i think its funny. Im a /b/tard and can troll with the best but i dont troll these forums.


Rules 1 and 2!


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## Mrs. M

Brando2600 said:


> Rules 1 and 2!


That's for raids. Also, we are on the news! We aren't so much of a secret anymore


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## sunyata samsara

Brando2600 said:


> Rules 1 and 2!


lol only applies to raids. im not trollin cuz if i where i would not have broken rules 1 and 2.


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## sunyata samsara

Visual Dude said:


> Google: "I enjoy cutting myself"
> 
> You will find plenty of people who like it. Is it healthy? &#8230; no. Are they being rude saying so?&#8230;no.
> 
> *sunyata samsara* started this topic, *This place is AWESOME*
> 
> And states, "*I never knew there was a forum full of people just like me. Unlike most on here I enjoy DP. Just had to say i appreciate this site. Thanks*"
> 
> Some positive energy here.
> 
> Provided he isn't a troll playing games, how is it rude for him to state he has found a way to stay focused in a state of bliss as a feature of DP and he likes it?
> 
> Unless I am misunderstanding when reading his posts, here is a man disliking hard realities, who was treated poorly, unable to afford medical treatment - so he chooses to enjoy unreality like some religious contemplative who finds the world lacking substance.
> 
> If any wish to help him, they will need to show acceptance as a person. And provide examples and reasons why reality can be better than his bliss.


Your interpretation of me is correct except i do not abide in bliss... yet.


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## stefisings

Actually, you are all kind of right. There are people who search for the feeling of being depersonalized through meditation or drugs and they really do enjoy it. That doesn't mean it isn't depersonalization or DR it just means it might not be a disorder.

(I got this explanation from a doctor a long time ago so if I'm not 100 percent right...Forgive me.) You can be dp'd or dr'd but if it doesn't intifere with your 'normal' life or it doesn't trouble you or make you feel horrible...then it is not a disorder.

Same as say neat freaks...If you genuinely love keeping your house perfect 24 hours a day and that is just who you are...Cool. The minute you resent the fact that you can't relax and just "be normal" without worrying about the messy house...it becomes a disorder. Or at the very least a problem.

Personally, I think it is a shame to be here on this earth and not want to interact with others...to just want to be alone...But if this is who you say you are and you are happy with it...More power to you. Most of us on this site want nothing more than to feel as we are truly part of this world while we are here. We are sharing a common human experience (I know I know we don't know if we really are and that's half the problem) but, we are all different. Wanting to feel connected doesn't make us shallow or unenlightened.


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## Guest

When I has temporary stretches of DP when I was 10 and 11, I did enjoy them. I thought they were fun, to be honest - objects moving passively around me rather than actively, feeling like I was in a dream - I would get quite disappointed when the feeling faded away.

What I wouldn't give for it to fade away now, though ...


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## soulallnighter

This Post is crazy. But i don't understand the negativity, since this is a forum to discuss and learn about DP and not just wallow in self pity I think sunyata samsara should be welcomed.

The way i see it many of us have described DP/DR as being like a bad Acid Trip. To me so much of the experience between a good and bad trip is the same, the main difference is in one you enjoy it and go along with and feel Euphoric, in the other your freak the hell out and start tearing your hair out trying to 'wake up'. And I do feel like theres a relation between the states of egoless achieved through disciplined meditation, through drugs and through DP. It seems like sunyata samsara has managed to maintain some of the Euphoria that can go with a radically shifted perception (which is kinda a contradiction since he also copes with anxiety, but still), and whether he was just lucky or has some strange way of coping with and not being overwhelmed by the anxiety, good for him. If i felt like i was stuck in a good Acid trip for the rest of my life I don't think i'd mind so much.

I think It is true that a lot of the anxiety in people with DP arises because we are clinging to our egos which feel so under attack, i.e freaking out at our loss of identity. Therefore being able to let go of our egos and realise that our true identity is not tied up with our ego is a big step towards recovery. Theres a lot written about how to be aware of you own ego. At first i found the whole idea really scary, feeling like it would mean I would have to change my whole life and give up everything i loved, but that is absolutely not the case.

But the wierd thing is that generally it seems that fear DP is what fuels it, so being ok or even happy about it should ultimately lead to recovery. So i guess its hard to say whats going on with sunyata samsara, but its interesting.


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## meowch

I find it odd that most people can't feel emotions and feel "empty inside" as they describe it. I guess everyones case is different, but the DR makes me feel emotions ten-fold!
When I'm sad I'm really really sad and I cry. 
When I'm happy I'm so happy that I cry tears of joy. 
And when i get mad, I usually cry in my rage too. lol

Also, the DR symptoms to me are a punishment. I chose to abuse drugs to feel relaxed and high, and now as a consequence I get to be a per-ma fry 24/7. For someone to say that they enjoy this feeling, GOOD FOR YOU, You've obviously accepted the fact that you will live with DP the rest of your life, and now start to get a kick out of it. 
Me on the other hand. I hate it. And I'm still wishing and hoping that it will go away. Every moment that i don't have DR is a good moment.


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## TheStarter

look at profile of sunyata
see trollface.jpg
nuff' said.

/b/ is this way


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## gill

It doesn't matter if one enjoys dp. It's still a disorder because it's a malfunction in awareness....


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## never_giving_up

stefisings said:


> Actually, you are all kind of right. There are people who search for the feeling of being depersonalized through meditation or drugs and they really do enjoy it. That doesn't mean it isn't depersonalization or DR it just means it might not be a disorder.
> 
> (I got this explanation from a doctor a long time ago so if I'm not 100 percent right...Forgive me.) You can be dp'd or dr'd but if it doesn't intifere with your 'normal' life or it doesn't trouble you or make you feel horrible...then it is not a disorder.
> 
> Same as say neat freaks...If you genuinely love keeping your house perfect 24 hours a day and that is just who you are...Cool. The minute you resent the fact that you can't relax and just "be normal" without worrying about the messy house...it becomes a disorder. Or at the very least a problem.
> 
> Personally, I think it is a shame to be here on this earth and not want to interact with others...to just want to be alone...But if this is who you say you are and you are happy with it...More power to you. Most of us on this site want nothing more than to feel as we are truly part of this world while we are here. We are sharing a common human experience (I know I know we don't know if we really are and that's half the problem) but, we are all different. Wanting to feel connected doesn't make us shallow or unenlightened.


You could not have said it any better









*hugs and love*


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## BusyBee

Well this clearly has provided an interesting discussion!

But, what?! When you are sufefreing from DP/DR you are ILL. I cant say Ienjouyed any part of this long and drawn out year of torture, except for possibly losing so much weight I could wear anything, although even that got fraustrating when even the smallest size hangs off you.

When you cant even make it to the top of the stairs without the room spinning,youre popping pills each night to keep you functioning and you've hardly gained the enthusiasm to get out of bed for months, I'd say youre pretty ill, not having a party. But I guess its personal preference.. its just I'm sure most people agree with me!


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## gill

nm, just repetition now....


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## sunyata samsara

Don Steffa said:


> look at profile of sunyata
> see trollface.jpg
> nuff' said.
> 
> /b/ is this way


im currently [email protected]

lulz


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## sunyata samsara

soulallnighter said:


> This Post is crazy. But i don't understand the negativity, since this is a forum to discuss and learn about DP and not just wallow in self pity I think sunyata samsara should be welcomed.
> 
> The way i see it many of us have described DP/DR as being like a bad Acid Trip. To me so much of the experience between a good and bad trip is the same, the main difference is in one you enjoy it and go along with and feel Euphoric, in the other your freak the hell out and start tearing your hair out trying to 'wake up'. And I do feel like theres a relation between the states of egoless achieved through disciplined meditation, through drugs and through DP. It seems like sunyata samsara has managed to maintain some of the Euphoria that can go with a radically shifted perception (which is kinda a contradiction since he also copes with anxiety, but still), and whether he was just lucky or has some strange way of coping with and not being overwhelmed by the anxiety, good for him. If i felt like i was stuck in a good Acid trip for the rest of my life I don't think i'd mind so much.
> 
> I think It is true that a lot of the anxiety in people with DP arises because we are clinging to our egos which feel so under attack, i.e freaking out at our loss of identity. Therefore being able to let go of our egos and realise that our true identity is not tied up with our ego is a big step towards recovery. Theres a lot written about how to be aware of you own ego. At first i found the whole idea really scary, feeling like it would mean I would have to change my whole life and give up everything i loved, but that is absolutely not the case.
> 
> But the wierd thing is that generally it seems that fear DP is what fuels it, so being ok or even happy about it should ultimately lead to recovery. So i guess its hard to say whats going on with sunyata samsara, but its interesting.


I dont have anxiety. Sort of though its totally unconscious and experienced as tension. The experience of bliss is a release of tension. That started happening after 9 years of meditation. I started counting them recently, ive had 96 so far today not counting the tantric sex i had this morning.


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## dp_kid

i dont believe it to be the same thing. dp is bad, nirvana is good. and i cant help feeling a little offended when someone is saying i like having dp. i can respect that a person may like that state of mind, but if they like it i dont think its dp. its rather some sort of spiritual enlightment. i can respect people who dont want to go with the flow and dont want part in society. but if you dont want that then dont use our words for describing something you want to accomplish. even if they to you seem similar.

the bottom line is that we all want to be happy. and we all have our own ways trying to be happy. (even if it is trolling in some forum)


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## FacelessJane

I'm going to go out on a limb here and actually introduce myself! How about that!
I'm 24 y/o, live in the US, and I'm pretty sure I have DP. Just stumbled over this site a few days ago. 
I've had depression since I was 16. Went off meds about 4 years ago because of side effects and personal irresponsibility (experimenting with some drugs). Also about 4 years ago my boyfriend's father committed suicide and then his family moved out of town, so I dropped all my own needs (and my identity) to help him survive the loss. I've unsuccessfully coped for the past 3-4 years by keeping busy, smoking weed, trying to fit in (with almost anyone, to my detriment) and neglecting my self. Now it's time to re-establish my identity and reconnect with the world. I still have social anxiety from low self-esteem and low self-efficacy. I'm trying to get better by exerting myself socially (which is really just anxiety inducing when I have to scour my vacant brain for conversation topics, lol), getting involved in a hobby on a regular basis, cutting back on my use of marijuana and caffeine, listening to happier music, and being gentle with my self, my mind, and the whole healing/reconnection process. It's hard, but everything in life is hard, it seems. I don't know it that's true but that's what I've accepted as truth as I've come of age in this situation (feeling mentally fragile). I'm terrified of the future, and of facing my self completely. I wish there was a was I could just fake it and get by and be happy, but it's just not working for me anymore. So I guess I'm going to have to face it dead on. Terrifying, but at least it's encouraging to see other people making the same positive strides I try to make. That way I guess I can make a plan, and stick with it, and that might just curb the fear of the future. Or I might drop the ball. Heck, I will drop the ball but I'll come back so it'll be all right. So, here I am. Hold me accountable, or something, because I don't have the capacity to do that for myself.







See you around ppl.


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