# I'm a lot better but still have no emotions



## Pancthulhu

Recently I've been feeling much better; I now have DP maybe 10% of the time, whereas I used to have it constantly.
I've had no improvement in my lack of emotions at all, however. I either feel nothing at all or I feel sadness. The last time I actually felt something was when I was listening to A Perfect Circle and suddenly realised I actually felt real awe at the music. Then the feeling scared me, as if it would overwhelm me, because I had not felt anything in so long. I haven't felt anything since.
If the lack of emotions is caused by anxiety, why hasn't my numbness improved even though my DP has done? I don't know how to get them back.


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## californian

when i come out of dp, i've noticed something similar. before i ever experienced dp when i was 16 years old (13 years ago) i was an EXTREMELY emotional person. i felt things very deeply--all emotions. eventually, my body decided to shut things down to protect myself from those strong emotions, i think.

i think dp symptoms are extreme emotional shut down--even things that we don't normally think of as emotion--such as feelings of familiarity--get shut down in dp. in my experience these feelings typically come back first, and then the other feelings we usually think of as emotions come back after that.

senses of awe are often what come back first for me too, and then i experience a sort of shut down, perhaps even a little dp relapse. slowly, but surely i come out of it, however.

i do always get worried when i've been feeling healthy but strong emotions because i worry this might trigger my brain to want to shut things down again...but i have to fight that worry as well (or else i feel worry too deeply  )


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## flipwilson

I know there is a lot of debate on this site regarding Dps relation to OCD and people wondering to what extent are we making this stuff up in their minds, but I have to believe there is definitley a relationship. Im 26 and I suffered with OCD since I was 19, and I have suffered from Dp for only 3 or 4 weeks now(after 3 hits of a stupid joint). With my OCD there was a constant checking of thought, I never really had compulsions. I would just obsess about a very particular and disturbing subject to me(sorry,a little personal can't get too specific) eventually developing a phobia. Because of this, reactions that should have come natural didn't come at all because I was overanalyzing them. Once my therapist worked with me on how to stop monitoring my responses gradually I noticed they came back naturally. Because I stopped thinking about them and stopped expecting feelings in certain situations they came back naturally and exactly when I should've felt them. I feel this is the same with Dp and emotions. I've only had it for 3 weeks and already feel that when I give myself time to not concentrate on the lack of emotion or expecting a certain feeling in a certain situation then the emotions come back naturally. Im not saying I never feel that numbness, but I went from total indifference one day to finally enjoying watching a Tennis match the next. Being aware of having no emotion, or believing you can't ever feel emotion will kill any chance you have. You have to just try and forget, live your life, and I believe they will eventually come to the forefront. Thats just my opinion, I am kinda new to this.


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## Epiphany

I found my emotions were one of the last things to come back as well...I felt mostly recovered except I still didn't feel anything for anyone. I slid in and out of dp for a short while after alsol. I expected a little too much too soon I think and fell into a depressive heap because of it. My feelings and emotions are all back now but I don't seem to be as emotionally sensitive as I was prior to dp/dr. This may actually be a blessing as I feel a lot stronger emotionally than I did before.

Give it a bit of time...hopefully your emotions will eventually just slip back into focus for you as well. All the best.


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## Pancthulhu

Thanks, that's good to know. My therapist thinks that high anxiety wears your brain out and suppresses your other emotions, which would make sense, I guess. I suppose having anxiety for a long period of time has inevitably made me depressed. Hopefully the depression should fade as my anxiety does.


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## livinginhell333

i feel my dp has improved too i'm able to enjoy company of friends and laugh and joke and be silly but i still can't really feel all feelings or emotions and things still seem very unreal and dreamlike to me. i still dissociate a lot though and feel as if i am an autopilot allll of the time.


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## Universal

my emotion are pretty numbed out too, or are they non-existant? who knows but people *including my therapist, dont understand when i say i have no emotion because they say well you laugh at a joke dont you? i say yes but that doesnt prove anything. they believe that it proves that i have emotions. go figure. anyway im still stuck in this non-feeling state and its become a big burden to me. i can't find a way out and each day proves that i might never regain my reality. i feel blank, i feel lost, i feel hopeless, and i feel like im trapped in a room *which i am, because of social anxiety and etc. well i am no longer really trapped since my anxiety went away *along with every other feeling i had, and im stuck in this vacuum of nothingness. dont tell me this is how the "void" is? im talking here of the buddhist/eastern concept of the void and nothingness. nothingness is supposed to be blissful isnt it? a release and an awakening to the true reality? seems like ive woken up to the sounds of Unreality. i dont know where my emotions are but i feel like they're not here and im just miserable.


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## laserdog

its strange i feel quite happy (isuppose) just i feel foreign to myself!! feelings, my voice my movement etc! i feel alot more connected to others and my environmemnt!..

is that a good sign do you think?

just need to re find myself! its like i've lost myself, i wonder what "myself" is and whjy isn't everyone like me! seems an obvious state to be in!!...


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## vodoovolkano

go to a doctor it really helps.i live all what you live.I can only think about going crazy and can only cry no other feelings no sense... you are not alone they will be okey soon if you dont think too much yourself


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## Guest

I have DR and I feel like my reality is coming back, but still no emotions. Feeling more "normal" feels really strange right now.


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## present

I find this to be a very encouraging thread. I know that for years (I have had this for a long time) I have tried to force out my feelings and "real" thoughts and try to get back to where I was before this, but these posts are sort of telling me what I guess I knew all along which is let things happen on their own and that most importantly, it may be a slow process. So thanks for the posts and keep us updated.


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## Pancthulhu

Yeah, I agree that your emotions probably come back gradually. Mine are definitely still really blunted but not as much as they were when I felt really anxious. There's no way you can force them anyway so you just have to wait I guess.


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