# Can you describe your DP?



## Vienna (Jun 3, 2011)

Describe in detail if you can ...and what goes on in your head when you have it? tnanks!


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## Jayden (Feb 9, 2011)

I've explained it to two friends, and it's hard because describing DP can really only be described in metaphors hahaha


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## samiam (Jan 28, 2011)

it feels like youre constantly stoned. your whole body feels numb and your just 'watching' yourself. It feels like your whole body is covered in dish wash gloves and cant fully feel things you touch and you cannot feel the space around you, sometimes too much noise is disorienting or having two ppl talk to u at the same time u cant comprehend. I dont know how im livingin each day just watching myself day by day.


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## Lanny (May 29, 2011)

My view is pretty descriptive, so i hope you like reading lol







My experiances are weird, like im walking somewhere and out of the blue things seem to feel and look fuzzy, i start to shake and i have no clue what im doing, like someone could be yelling at me and i wouldnt even realize it, i get insanely scared, and i sometimes have a big breakdown, one of my most notable ones was when i was on my way to the store, and i saw an ambulance, after it passes i look around and my view seems different like your looking through a blurry glass, things are getting bad, i get to the store, once i get out of the car and i feel ok, but between episodes i feel better for like a minute then it happens again, when i get to the store, i decide to go off on my own, and im still ok, until i come upon a mirror, i look at it and say what is going on with me, then it happens again, i look around, im lost, until i see my parent, my dads an idiot and he assumes things too easily, {like if you have a panic attack he assumes your crazy, or you eat too much and he assumes that your fat, or you watch tv a little to much he assumes your lazy} he called me crazy told me to get over it, i freak out i run out of the store and im scared to death, lol after i get in the car i feel a little better, and i get home and i lay down. Soooo thats my DP and DR lol i said it would be long...


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

In the beginning i felt spaced out and like i couldnt concentrate on the important things at all. a feeling of not beeing there but sitting right in it. Life felt like a game and at the very start my DR was very strong with situations feeling like a movie and people around me felt like actors in it.

Completely fucked up. Now im just being a dick to myself and analyzing stuff and questioning things getting stuck on every feeling and thought and i feel stale like a stick when i start that thing.


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## Vienna (Jun 3, 2011)

TheGame said:


> In the beginning i felt spaced out and like i couldnt concentrate on the important things at all. a feeling of not beeing there but sitting right in it. Life felt like a game and at the very start my DR was very strong with situations feeling like a movie and people around me felt like actors in it.
> 
> Completely fucked up. Now im just being a dick to myself and analyzing stuff and questioning things getting stuck on every feeling and thought and i feel stale like a stick when i start that thing.


I can totally relate to what you just said! the over analyzing yourself part especially


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

it really is hell.. but its a valuable lesson. and it WILL lead to stronger stability than youve ever had before. good things come from DP trust me. 
I have learned SO much..


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## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

I'd say the main symptom is the perception and feeling of watching myself move, rather than being the mover. A diminished self-image.

There's secondary symptoms also like the loss of the sense of time passage and emotional numbing.


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## Vienna (Jun 3, 2011)

TheGame said:


> it really is hell.. but its a valuable lesson. and it WILL lead to stronger stability than youve ever had before. good things come from DP trust me.
> I have learned SO much..


what have you learned? and I'm scared that after this I'll become slightly mentally challenged cause of all the time passing without developing and using my brain : /


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

Vienna said:


> what have you learned? and I'm scared that after this I'll become slightly mentally challenged cause of all the time passing without developing and using my brain : /


I have learned a great deal about selfworth and codependant behaviour. I was abit codependent even before i got DP but i never considered it a problem. I have learned that life i fragile and that im not immortal and that life can take a turn for the worse over something as trivial as a few drags on a marijuanajoint. 
I have also learned to value myself highly and to value my wisdom, creativity and people around me. i have learned alot of social lessons and that when you have your health you should rejoice.

these things among alot of other things. aswell as selfcontrol and giving and taking in relationships. i used to be a hardcore giver!









if you cant learn something from going trough DP then most life lessons will pass you right by.


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## Lacuna (Jun 1, 2011)

The best way I can think of describing my DP is saying that I feel a lot like the character Billy Pilgrim from Kurt Vonnegut's novel _Slaughterhouse Five_ . I don't feel any sort of emotional connection to the life that plays out before me- I don't even really feel as if it is my life or I'm really taking part in it. It more feels like I'm watching _A_ life that simply happens to be occurring in front of me, and that my body is leading this life all on its own. Sometimes, when the DR kicks in, I feel like I'm looking at a bigger version of reality (different from what everyone else sees and accepts as real), and that true understanding of _everything_, life, and reality is just beyond my grasp, but that it is still completely incomprehensible.
I'm not really sure if that last bit made any sense or if I'm just rambling now.


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## Cynicalthoughts (Jun 24, 2011)

Take away all sense of reality, add a little bit of confusion (as if you just got hit by a truck), sprinkle a bit of a dream like state, then add a strong dose of constant anxiety with a handful of deep seeded fear. Finally serve with a side dish of lack of all interest in anything that might bring you joy. That's, in a nut shell, how DP has been for me during the past 15years. Hell...


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## TheGame (Feb 1, 2011)

Cynicalthoughts said:


> Take away all sense of reality, add a little bit of confusion (as if you just got hit by a truck), sprinkle a bit of a dream like state, then add a strong dose of constant anxiety with a handful of deep seeded fear. Finally serve with a side dish of lack of all interest in anything that might bring you joy. That's, in a nut shell, how DP has been for me during the past 15years. Hell...


please tell me why youve been trapped in this crap for so long? permanent brain damage? 15 yeeeearrs???? omfg...


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## Aridity (Jun 12, 2011)

Dreamy,watching yourself talk for a different view or something. Weird vision,something's off in your vision. A little bit blurry sometimes,or like someone turned down the light a little bit. Confusion 24/7 can't think or concentrate. Robot like I do everything autoamatically,I have no emotions nor do I feel anything,my identity is lost. I'm walking on this earth like a ghost I have the feeling like I'm a thin paper sheet. It's fucking horrible.


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## resonantblue (Mar 15, 2011)

Lacuna said:


> The best way I can think of describing my DP is saying that I feel a lot like the character Billy Pilgrim from Kurt Vonnegut's novel _Slaughterhouse Five_ . I don't feel any sort of emotional connection to the life that plays out before me- I don't even really feel as if it is my life or I'm really taking part in it. It more feels like I'm watching _A_ life that simply happens to be occurring in front of me, and that my body is leading this life all on its own. Sometimes, when the DR kicks in, I feel like I'm looking at a bigger version of reality (different from what everyone else sees and accepts as real), and that true understanding of _everything_, life, and reality is just beyond my grasp, but that it is still completely incomprehensible.
> I'm not really sure if that last bit made any sense or if I'm just rambling now.


wow, that's really close to how I feel. I've actually used the phrase "unstuck in time" to try and describe aspects of the DP


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## CollegeStudent20 (Jun 28, 2011)

I have persistent feelings of doom, feeling overly-aware about reality and death, feeling stoned all the time but mixed with profound anxiety, specially when I'm around a lot of people. Nothing feels close and I feel really emotionally flat. Sometimes my actions feel robotic. Feeling like I'm about to die. Its horrible


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## Vienna (Jun 3, 2011)

CollegeStudent20 said:


> I have persistent feelings of doom, feeling overly-aware about reality and death, feeling stoned all the time but mixed with profound anxiety, specially when I'm around a lot of people. Nothing feels close and I feel really emotionally flat. Sometimes my actions feel robotic. Feeling like I'm about to die. Its horrible


 yeah, that's what I feel too, kinda like everyday is the end of the world o.0


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## opie37060 (Jan 9, 2010)

My vision is weird. The thing that bothers me the most is my memory. I can't remember anything. It's hard for me to learn lyrics to a new song or to remember something i just watched on t.v. or read. It feels weird when i walk and sometimes I feel like i won't be able to move my arms or legs, even though i always do. I get really deppressed and never happy. I space out all the time. I'm pretty good at acting normal. I have been unemployed for two years and doubt i could hold a job if I wanted to. I have trouble going to sleep and waking up. I have other problems but nothing comes to mind right now.


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## aditya singh (Jul 13, 2011)

Dear All,
I am Aditya Singh,male,28 yr old residing in Mumbai,India.I am computer engineer .I have worked for 4 years and I have completed MBA in May 2011 in Marketing.I didn't get job from college.Seven years back I was fired from an IT company for doing 8 programs out of 10.Sir one and half year back while studying at night I got thought as "U r going to fail .U can not do any thing in ur life as u failed 7 years back.Since then these thoughts came frequently and I got disturbed while studying ,college activities and at home too.These thoughts started coming frequently and they become " Why did u fail?U can not accept ur failures.U r a negative thinker.Ur world's biggest looser.Devil has selected you as first person on earth to spread fear and negativity. Ur all friends have progressed in their lives.They r successful nad u r big symbol of failure.U r a negative thinker.U have not worked in IT for 4 years.U have not given MBA exams.U have not given group Discussion and personal Interview.U r not an MBA.U r just a looser a failure of past.U have to accept negativity of all people.Any task u can not do since u have failed 7 years ago and u r a negative thinker.Then it laughs as Ha Ha Ha.I am ur god .I will go after ur death.Medicines will not work for u.U r world's biggest negative thinker.U can not think positive at all.Once failed life ended.Its 2005 the year in which u failed .U have been just fired from office.Its not year 2011.Just remember your failure.Every thing except ur failure is true and rest all thinks are false.U r eunuch.U r mother fucker.U r sister fucker.U can not earn money.
These thoughts cycle repeats through out day.It disturbs while reading or doing any activity
Can any body help me.u can mail me at [email protected] will be of great help to me.


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## Totally DP'D (Jun 8, 2011)

How my DP feels:

It feels like my consciousness was a transparent crystal sphere that has become cracked and cloudy.

It feels like I see the world via a 1000 reflections in a mirror. Through a looking glass darkly?

It feels like I was able to see the whole world in my minds eye, and now I can only comprehend what's in the room I'm in.

It feels like I'm not human any more, and can scarcely remember what it felt like to be human.

It feels like I'm adrift in time, yesterday, today and tomorrow all rolled together, no future no past.


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## RamonX (Feb 10, 2011)

My DP/DR has returned 8 months after it was mostly dormant or mild for at least 15 years. I really thought I sort of grew out of it. 
Now it feels worse than ever, although it is hard to really remember how it felt many years ago. The problem with DP is ofcourse, that it is so hard to describe. but I'll try to catch à few highlights ( actually lowlights







. ) .

I am cycling through the city. I am constantly aware of my trousers against my legs, my body feels as if it is unsubstantial, light as à feather, made from foam. My bodymap feels distorted
As if I have lost direct contact with my body parts and have à sort of scrambled information about it through a proxy channel. When the sun breaks through the clouds the flood of light is overwhelming. I feel as if the light expands the space of the street I am coming through. It is à kind of falling sensation as if the space has sucked up the supporting structures.
When I take à right turn It is as if I suddenly wake up with a shock as if the moments before were à vague dream.

I go outside for à walk. When I start walking and look through the street I have a terrible nagging feeling that everything is wrong. I can' t really explain what it is, or actually I don't know
What is wrong, but the world just seems impossible. I walk on and try to ignore that feeling and as long as I don' t pay attention to my surroundings I can keep the feeling barable, but it breaks through several times. Nothing fits, rhymes or makes sense. This sensation is much more intense and frightening than feeling that I am in à dream. It's not that the world including myself feel unreal, it feels impossible.

I am standing on the balcony looking at the park and gardens at the back of our house. The big expanse of green of all trees together overwhelms me it is as if it sucks me in. I can't get my eyes to focus.

Well Just a few nasty eperiences out of a big repertoire







, can anyone relate to this?


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## Blitz (Jul 30, 2011)

My DP is as if a large part of me doesnt understand life anymore, I feel distant from everyone else and feel as if i am not human. I have panic attacks sometimes when it feels im looking at life through a lense and I feel as if im about to lose control of reality completely and will sease to exist. Sometimes i feel as if everyone is just characters in my life and that i am actually in something like the movie the matrix where this isnt real life. I sometimes have large problems comprehending things like life and death and how we are limited to the world when i think there is so much more to life and existing.

hope this helps


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## cris24333 (Oct 30, 2010)

i have no personality, like im trapped in my mind


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## DeadFish (Aug 2, 2011)

When you wake up and let out a nice loud YAWN! Your body stretches and you feel that rush of blood around your neck and ears.... you dont feel focused on anything, and you cant focus on anything because you are too busy yawning.... that lasts for a few seconds for you. For us it could be minutes or hours.


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## trudy (Aug 4, 2011)

w


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## trudy (Aug 4, 2011)

How my DP felt when I had it:

I like this quote from this thread:



> I'd say the main symptom is the perception and feeling of watching myself move, rather than being the mover


Feeling detached from my arms. my legs, my body, my thoughts, my perceptions. Being outside of myself somehow. Like a robot. Being in a horrible void with no way out. Being unable to connect with anyone or anything.

Awful stuff. But I do not have it right now _THANK GOD/DESS!_


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## ViolentCuppycake (Aug 6, 2011)

My DP is just a feeling that I'm not really there. Earlier today I was at the beach with my parents and as I was sitting on a bench, I started to feel like I wasn't there. I stood up and started walking and I felt kind of confused, like I didn't know where I was or where I was going. I looked down at my feet and they looked shrunken (weeeeeeeeeeeeird!) and I had to keep looking at my face to make sure I was me. I switched my tapers to a bigger size and my ears are still in a pain a little so I kept messing with my tapers so I could feel pain and know that I was still in my body. It all felt like a dream. Like I was trapped between reality and a dream world. The thing I hate the most is when it comes out of nowhere. The whole ride home, it felt that way and I could feel an anxiety attack coming on so I tried to sleep in the car. When I got home, I still had that feeling. I saw myself in the back door glass and as I walked towards it, I felt like I was watching someone else walk towards the door. When I got my cat, I felt like I wasn't really holding her. The feeling went away once I got into my room. I also noticed that when I walk now, I feel kind of uncoordinated and it feels like I'm gonna either pass out at any time or my body's just gonna give up on me and crash to the ground.


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## ViolentCuppycake (Aug 6, 2011)

trudy said:


> How my DP felt when I had it:
> 
> I like this quote from this thread:
> 
> ...


Feeling detached from my body is how I feel too at times.


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