# What a relief today i found out what i have....



## wildfruit2 (Mar 1, 2006)

What a relief i have dp not that im happy about that but the last year and a half i have been to hell and back at least 1000 times and today i was looking at random stuff on the net and have somehow come to this website and it is all making complete sense.
I can relate to so much i have seen on this website,feelings of unrealness,feeling i am not there(at one point when it was particularly bad i thought i had alzheimers and that my mind was slipping away from me ) , looking at the world from a planet of my own in which i was the only inhabitant,sadness of losing my identity and wishing more than anything for that carefree happy girl to come back,feeling alianated from my friends not being able to connect with anyone or make friends, wanting so despretaly to feel how i used to feel and laugh and mess around but i have turned into a nervous ,insecure ,sad ,paranoid, bitter ,aggressive, horrible person.
All year i have not spoken to anyone about this i have been so frightened not knowing what i had, feeling i was the only one in the world with this ,thinking that if i went to a doctor they would lock me up so although i am not happy about having dp i am relieved that it has a name and that there are many others like me with the same condition and that there is support. 
I have been desperate to talk about this but i believed i would live with this on my own without ever sharing it with anyone so this website is a godsend i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now i just have to learn to live with this awfull condition thanks for listening and feel free to email me or pm to chat this is a whole new world for me and i would like to stay in touch with some of you .


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2006)

I can certainly relate. I thought I was becoming schizophrenic, or being poisoned by some sort of heavy metal(mercury, lead, etc.), or had a brain tumor,or had alzheimer's, or had several other diseases/conditions before I found out about DP/DR roughly a month ago. For three months, I was constantly looking for answers to why I'm feeling this way and obsessed over everything imaginable. Very frightening indeed. Finding this site and others has been a great help though. Just knowing that you're not the only sufferer and that you're not really going insane is a great feeling mentally. Sometimes I lose track of that, unfortunately. :x


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## Methusala (Dec 22, 2005)

Welcome to the site Wildfruit. I felt the same way when I came here 2 months ago. There are many people from the UK here and a UK research and treatment center for DP in the links section. There is also a significant book, the first of its kind, on DP coming out this week, there is a link in the disucssion room for that. 
Welcome!
M


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## Terence999 (Apr 29, 2006)

I first started having panic and DP and becoming disoriented and dazed when I was in Vietnam as a young soldier. It hit me out of the blue and was not related to combat. That I could handle but not the DP and the panic disorder. There are different kinds of fear. There is the fear of combat where your body reacts in ways you would not believe. Anyone who says they don't have fear is nuts. DP and panic disorder are worse because you are not sure where the fear is being generated. It is coming from the inside and not someone shooting at you. I had many bad years after the war because these conditions were not understood and they just thought it was schizophrenia and I got locked up. Talk about a life turning to shit. I went over the wall and began to recover on my own.


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