# Finally a diagnosis



## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Even though it isn't that good, I must say that I'm glad I finally got a diagnosis. I entered the psychiatrist's office, described the symptoms, hoping that he would say something like "You're very anxious blablabla, have this and that" , guess what? I was completely wrong. After I told him how all of this began (I'll write it down after) , this is what I heard from him "You seem to have what we call 'the beginning of schizophrenia' " , my heartbeat increased by 10000% , I began to shake all over, my DP symptoms hit the max, and I could only say "No way.. This can't be happening, all this time I didn't want to see schizophrenia symptoms because I was too scared that I could relate somehow, and now I hear this.." , but he insisted that this is not serious unless it develops into schizophrenia, he says this is just the beginning and it can be cured with all these meds he prescribed (Risperidone 1mg at night, Zyprexa 5mg at night, Fluoxetine 20mg in the morning, Diazepam 5mg when needed) . I couldn't really "accept" this, I still can't because it feels way too unreal, if I thought I was in a dream, I don't really know what to think after this..

Anyways, here's what I told him:

2 years ago I started feeling a bit depressed, it went away within a week or two though, so I didn't worry that much. A year later I got depressed again, this time it lasted about a month, then it disappeared as well. Shortly after that, I started getting constant dejavus while walking on the street, I would look around me and things looked weird, everything looked like a dream, even though it wasn't that intense. A week or two after getting those symptoms I quit school, and just stayed home. In my birthday, at night I had a huge panic attack, I thought I was in a dream, nothing looked real, and I kept telling my mother "Seriously I don't know what's going on, I'm freaking out! Nothing looks real" , ever since I have been experiencing depersonalization symptoms (emotional numbness, things looking unreal, feeling depressed). About a month ago, I started asking myself about stupid crap, such as "Why do we live? Who created us? How does the universe exist?" all that existential crap, and yeah that's about it.

Then he asked me if I had gone trough any trauma, I said no, and that's when he said I was beginning to develop schizophrenia.

I really don't know what to think/do , no idea on how to react to this, just looks so.. impossible.. honestly. But I'm glad he went straight to the point, I was tired of being treated like someone who gets anxious over anything and only suffers because of that, I knew there was something wrong, and I finally know what.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

You do not have schizophrenia. Some of the symptoms of schizophrenia are similar to dp. As him to test you on the dissociative experiences scale.


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## Rogue Bullies (Jun 1, 2010)

I'm not the doctor, but to me it sounds just like normal DP/DR and anxiety symptoms. Maybe get a second opinion?


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

First of all thanks for the replies.

Well, I asked him if he was 100% sure that it was a schizofrenia prodrome, and he said that he wasn't obviously, but it could be and it's better to play safe, and I agree with him there, so even if it's just DP, might as well just do a treatment for schizofrenia to prevent it I guess.. But it's always scary to hear something like this, you really don't wanna know how I felt when he said this..


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> First of all thanks for the replies.
> 
> Well, I asked him if he was 100% sure that it was a schizofrenia prodrome, and he said that he wasn't obviously, but it could be and it's better to play safe, and I agree with him there, so even if it's just DP, might as well just do a treatment for schizofrenia to prevent it I guess.. But it's always scary to hear something like this, you really don't wanna know how I felt when he said this..


Schizophrenia..is he trying to be funny? you've had this for some time, right? if it was the BEGINNING of schizo the beginning sure is long. Besides...I bet he would say that everyone here is schizophrenic...that's just wrong.
But he could be right...yeah..he could..but I doubt it..


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Xerei said:


> Schizophrenia..is he trying to be funny? you've had this for some time, right? if it was the BEGINNING of schizo the beginning sure is long. Besides...I bet he would say that everyone here is schizophrenic...that's just wrong.
> But he could be right...yeah..he could..but I doubt it..


Well, I've read somewhere that the prodrome can last up to 12-24 months, I've had DP symptoms for 9 months now.

LOL and that second sentence of yours was funny because on my way home I was wondering "Wait, so everyone (or almost everyone) in the forum must be schizophrenic" , that wouldn't be pretty

Edit: Woah just noticed I mispelled schizophrenia like 5 times.. blame my crappy brain


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Well, I've read somewhere that the prodrome can last up to 12-24 months, I've had DP symptoms for 9 months now.
> 
> LOL and that second sentence of yours was funny because on my way home I was wondering "Wait, so everyone (or almost everyone) in the forum must be schizophrenic" , that wouldn't be pretty


aaah I thought you had DP for longer..
And yeah..it would be weird if everyone here were schizophrenic...someone arrange a sleepover and you got a madhouse.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Xerei said:


> aaah I thought you had DP for longer..
> And yeah..it would be weird if everyone here were schizophrenic...someone arrange a sleepover and you got a madhouse.


ROFL seriously in times like these you're the kind of person we need to talk to..

But yeah, DP symptoms (feeling unreal, constant dejavus) started 9/10 months ago, depression/anxiety had happened before though


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> ROFL seriously in times like these you're the kind of person we need to talk to..
> 
> But yeah, DP symptoms (feeling unreal, constant dejavus) started 9/10 months ago, depression/anxiety had happened before though


Well, don't get me wrong, I didn't say 9 months wasn't long...even an hour with DP is too long.
9/10 months...sort of long, really, with the thought that you could have a kid in that time..
But you're starting to feel better, right?







otherwise I'm gonna come over to your house and beat the shit out of DP! yeah! DP isn't exercising right? I'm not very athletic..Well, with my sarcasm and weird sense of humor I'm gonna K/O him/her/it..and boiii we might go to Sweden today..and sleep in the car =O good thing it's a car with fridge, shower, toilet, beds...BUT IT'S A CAR! if you're not far away from Sweden I can meet you and kick your DP in the nuts/vagina/black hole, whatever it got =D.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Rogue Bullies said:


> I'm not the doctor, but to me it sounds just like normal DP/DR and anxiety symptoms. Maybe get a second opinion?


I agree. You story sounds like a lot of other people here. I guess every doc see things differently. I went to one who told me I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, ocd, borderline personalty disorder, shiczo-effective schizophrenia and some other things I don't remember. My current doc(3 years I think) told me from the start that he doesn't think I have any personalty disorder nor shiczo-effective schizophrenia, and that I have severe depression, anxiety and DP. Probably the symptoms of DP sounds to a lot of docs like the start of schizophrenia, but it's mostly not the case... By the way, I have DP for 5 years.


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

EverDream said:


> I agree. You story sounds like a lot of other people here. I guess every doc see things differently. I went to one who told me I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, ocd, borderline personalty disorder, shiczo-effective schizophrenia and some other things I don't remember. My current doc(3 years I think) told me from the start that he doesn't think I have any personalty disorder nor shiczo-effective schizophrenia, and that I have severe depression, anxiety and DP. Probably the symptoms of DP sounds to a lot of docs like the start of schizophrenia, but it's mostly not the case... By the way, I have DP for 5 years.


5 years =O you got a short way to go young padawan.


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

Xerei said:


> 5 years =O you got a short way to go young pandawa.


I have no idea what that means lol


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## Miles (Jun 17, 2010)

I'm sorry but hearing this makes me angry! Apparently your psychiatrist has never heard of "differential diagnosis". Of course some of the symptoms you described can appear within the so-called prodomal stage of schizophrenia. But there are many more psychological disorders that include your symptoms. Let me tell you, Risperidone is not something you want to take just to "play it safe"!


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Xerei said:


> I agree. You story sounds like a lot of other people here. I guess every doc see things differently. I went to one who told me I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, ocd, borderline personalty disorder, shiczo-effective schizophrenia and some other things I don't remember. My current doc(3 years I think) told me from the start that he doesn't think I have any personalty disorder nor shiczo-effective schizophrenia, and that I have severe depression, anxiety and DP. Probably the symptoms of DP sounds to a lot of docs like the start of schizophrenia, but it's mostly not the case... By the way, I have DP for 5 years.


Yeah I guess this psychiatrist likes to play REALLY safe, since I don't even hallucinate or anything, he asked me if I heard "beeps" though, and I said yes because I do once in a while, they are quite anoying. Also asked me if I could hear myself thinking loud inside my head, and I said "Well, everyone thinks loud inside their heads when they are like uber concentrated on something, studying for example, right?" , he didn't seem to agree


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

EverDream said:


> I have no idea what that means lol


padawan is a word for "jedi apprentice" from star wars...smiling can be a good thing in bad bad times. bad times..shame on you, bad times.


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Of course I'm starting to feel better, all this humour HAS to make anyone feel better, even if it's only a little bit, if not then there's something really wrong with that person I guess
> 
> 
> 
> ...


1) or something wrong with the humor...to the joker.
2) and you should really play a joke on your doctor...just run into his office with a towel on your head, 2 different kinda shoes and socks, a silver-colored jacket and say with a really weird acent: "I AM FROM THE FOOTORE!" Just to see his reaction...the worst of all..sometimes I'm even nuts enough to do stuff like that.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Miles said:


> 2) and you should really play a joke on your doctor...just run into his office with a towel on your head, 2 different kinda shoes and socks, a silver-colored jacket and say with a really weird acent: "I AM FROM THE FOOTORE!" Just to see his reaction...the worst of all..sometimes I'm even nuts enough to do stuff like that.


That would be epic really, and probably funnier if I carried a knife


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Of course I'm starting to feel better, all this humour HAS to make anyone feel better, even if it's only a little bit, if not then there's something really wrong with that person I guess
> 
> 
> 
> ...


oh and ask that doctor of yours if he can EVER hear himself think XD..maybe he's a robot just putting random diagnoses...*beep beep* zzzziiip update, new diagnose arrived, hello my friend with a broken arm, that broken arm is a sign that you belong in a mental hospital" zzziiiipp *beep beep*


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Well, I don't even want to read the description of Risperidone then I guess.. I'll just take it and handle whatever comes up as secondary effects, I think I've seen people here in the forum saying they took it, I'll just be one more
> 
> That would be epic really, and probably funnier if I carried a knife


XD yeah...hmm..with a second thought..carry an empty bottle of coke and pretend you're calling someone with it.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Xerei said:


> XD yeah...hmm..with a second thought..carry an empty bottle of coke and pretend you're calling someone with it.


Someone told me a story of a schizophrenic guy that lived close to me, he ran away from a mental institution with a knife and went after some guy, they reached a dead end and the guy said something like "Please spare me" , the guy hands him the knife and says "Your turn to chase me now!" , that's why I remembered mentioning the knife.. but seriously I was just imagining myself doing that right now.. so funny and not at the same time xD


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## Xerei (Feb 17, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Someone told me a story of a schizophrenic guy that lived close to me, he ran away from a mental institution with a knife and went after some guy, they reached a dead end and the guy said something like "Please spare me" , the guy hands him the knife and says "Your turn to chase me now!" , that's why I remembered mentioning the knife.. but seriously I was just imagining myself doing that right now.. so funny and not at the same time xD


wtf? XD hillarious..."your turn to chase me now!" Great guy..


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## Johnny Dep (Feb 8, 2009)

The symptoms of Schizophrenia are divided into two groups, positive and negative symptoms. Positive symptoms are things schizos have but normals don't. Negatives are things schizos don't have but normals do have.

The positive symptoms are mostly things like delusional beliefs and psychotic episodes. The negative symptoms are mostly a flat and empty emotional life. No one should be diagnosed with schizophrenia unless they have the positive symptoms because so many other things can cause the negative symptoms. But very few things cause the delusional beliefs that schizos are famous for other than schizophrenia. A big issue is routinely hearing voices in your head. Thats a huge sign of schizophrenia.

Anyway, this is part of why I don't think shrinks help for DP. The symptoms of DP are so close to the negative symptoms of schizophrenia that being given that diagnosis is always a threat.

If your between 18 and 25 you should know that thats when schizophrenia usually starts so doctors are more likely to be looking for the warning signs in people that age. I'm old enough that a good doctor would know that if I haven't gotten schizophrenia yet I'm too old to start.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Johnny Dep said:


> The symptoms of Schizophrenia are divided into two groups, positive and negative symptoms. Positive symptoms are things schizos have but normals don't. Negatives are things schizos don't have but normals do have.
> 
> The positive symptoms are mostly things like delusional beliefs and psychotic episodes. The negative symptoms are mostly a flat and empty emotional life. No one should be diagnosed with schizophrenia unless they have the positive symptoms because so many other things can cause the negative symptoms. But very few things cause the delusional beliefs that schizos are famous for other than schizophrenia. A big issue is routinely hearing voices in your head. Thats a huge sign of schizophrenia.
> 
> ...


Well I do hear voices in my head, but not like.. literally.. I have a very intense chatter inside my head because of existential thoughts, I'm always questioning existence, 24/7 non stop, kinda gets my brain tired, but I don't know if he meant like hearing voices literally, just as if someone was talking to me or a different way of hearing voices


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## Guest (Jul 14, 2010)

Makes me furious as well. Don't know you at all, but schizophrenia is a dramatic disorder with many, many symptoms. This sort of diagnosis makes me furious. I would get a second opinion or a third opinion. And I wouldn't start a med prescribed by this doctor until I got the 2 other opininons.

I've heard that one so many times I want to explode.

I skimmed through and it seems most everyone here is spot on.

Yes, you could have depression and DP/DR.

And there are people on this board who are schizophrenic who have DP/DR. Makes me just want to


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## Guest (Jul 14, 2010)

Chatter in one's head is not LITERALLY hearing a voice -- that sounds like it's coming from another person literally speaking to you telling you to harm yourself, or telling you are bad ... or with one man I knew described he has a voice that tells him ... A VOICE HE HEARS, as literally HEARING ... to put his hand in the garbage disposal and turn it on.

NO, NO, NO.

Chatter in the head. We may have more -- I do, but everyone "chats to themselves" in their head or even to their dog. IF THE DOG ANSWERS BACK and tells you to kill the Pope ... different story, and I'm being overly simplistic .... BUT...... OH!


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Well, getting a second oppinion wouldn't probably be the best idea since the psychiatrist I went to is one of the most famous in Portugal, and he seemed to be worried about me.. I don't know what to do really :/


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Even though it isn't that good, I must say that I'm glad I finally got a diagnosis. I entered the psychiatrist's office, described the symptoms, hoping that he would say something like "You're very anxious blablabla, have this and that" , guess what? I was completely wrong. After I told him how all of this began (I'll write it down after) , this is what I heard from him "You seem to have what we call 'the beginning of schizophrenia' " , my heartbeat increased by 10000% , I began to shake all over, my DP symptoms hit the max, and I could only say "No way.. This can't be happening, all this time I didn't want to see schizophrenia symptoms because I was too scared that I could relate somehow, and now I hear this.." , but he insisted that this is not serious unless it develops into schizophrenia, he says this is just the beginning and it can be cured with all these meds he prescribed (Risperidone 1mg at night, Zyprexa 5mg at night, Fluoxetine 20mg in the morning, Diazepam 5mg when needed) . I couldn't really "accept" this, I still can't because it feels way too unreal, if I thought I was in a dream, I don't really know what to think after this..
> 
> Anyways, here's what I told him:
> 
> ...


Unless there are other symptoms which you are not mentioning I would get a second opinion. 
DPD presents quite similar to pre-psychotic states although if it was the prodromal stage of schizophrenia I'd hazard a guess you should be experiencing other symptoms not part of DPD as well.

If you haven't had this for very long yet it could be prodromal schizophrenia, but what you mention sounds like plain DP/DR.

DP is well known and easily recognized as a symptom. It appears in a variety of neurotic and psychotic disorders. It has not been classified as a disorder in its own right for quite long enough for all psychiatrists to get the news flash - Or maybe they just don't like to diagnose it. After all their success rates aren't yet very good at curing DPD.

So yeah. I declare shenanigans.

**
More on prodromal stage of schizophrenia:
http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/76/3075/early-phase/
http://www.ehow.com/about_5102011_prodromal-symptoms-schizophrenia.html


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

Miles said:


> I'm sorry but hearing this makes me angry! Apparently your psychiatrist has never heard of "differential diagnosis". Of course some of the symptoms you described can appear within the so-called prodomal stage of schizophrenia. But there are many more psychological disorders that include your symptoms. Let me tell you, Risperidone is not something you want to take just to "play it safe"!


Yeah. Zyprexa neither actually. That was more than a decade ago and I still got souvenirs to remind me. Fucking twitch.


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Well I do hear voices in my head, but not like.. literally.. I have a very intense chatter inside my head because of existential thoughts, I'm always questioning existence, 24/7 non stop, kinda gets my brain tired, but I don't know if he meant like hearing voices literally, just as if someone was talking to me or a different way of hearing voices


Lots of us here do. If you are aware that they are inner voices not heard by others around you and that they originate from within yourself and have not been placed in your head by outside forces then what you are experiencing are just loud thoughts







Disruptive - yes, Tiring - yes but not psychosis.


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## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

I was diagnosed with prodromal schizophrenia 3 years ago. It was a misdiagnosis. Unless you hear voices that aren't there or see things that aren't there you are not crazy.


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## feministcat (May 4, 2010)

I also have existential thoughts all the time. It is what fuels the depersonalization for me. It's like having a hyperawareness of my existence. I'm always observing myself and questioning how or why or if I'm really here. When I'm extra anxious, the chatter in my head can seem overwhelming. These are just extreme states of anxiety. I don't have hallucinations or delusions. I don't hear voices (even though the chatter can be really loud in my head.. that is the key, it's in my head.. I'm not actually hearing a voice). I know that what I'm experiencing is not normal and I worry that I'm going crazy, therefore I'm not psychotic. All of these things confirm that I don't have schizophrenia. I think you are probably experiencing extreme anxiety and depersonalization too, and I would highly suggest you do more research or talk to another doctor. I found a good link that describes schizophrenia symptoms.

http://www.schizophrenia.com/diag.php#common


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

pancake said:


> Lots of us here do. If you are aware that they are inner voices not heard by others around you and that they originate from within yourself and have not been placed in your head by outside forces then what you are experiencing are just loud thoughts
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh I get it, well then it wouldn't be my case


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

surfingisfun001 said:


> I also have existential thoughts all the time. It is what fuels the depersonalization for me. It's like having a hyperawareness of my existence. I'm always observing myself and questioning how or why or if I'm really here. When I'm extra anxious, the chatter in my head can seem overwhelming. These are just extreme states of anxiety. I don't have hallucinations or delusions. I don't hear voices (even though the chatter can be really loud in my head.. that is the key, it's in my head.. I'm not actually hearing a voice). I know that what I'm experiencing is not normal and I worry that I'm going crazy, therefore I'm not psychotic. All of these things confirm that I don't have schizophrenia. I think you are probably experiencing extreme anxiety and depersonalization too, and I would highly suggest you do more research or talk to another doctor. I found a good link that describes schizophrenia symptoms.
> 
> http://www.schizophrenia.com/diag.php#common


Yeah existential thoughts are what screws me up the most.. and probably what fuels DP as well, but yeah lets see where this goes with the meds.. He said that even if it wasn't prodromal schizophrenia, it should help with the obsessive thinking


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

Dude get a second and third opinion before taking zyprexa and risperidone. It is like a chemical lobotomy. One of my greatest fears is that someday I will feel so bad that I will be misdiagnosed and put on these types of meds, and then be a zombie.


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## ValleyGirl (Nov 10, 2017)

I just want to say that, if you are schizophrenic based solely on the symptoms you listed, then WE ALL ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Inzom said:


> I just want to say that, if you are schizophrenic based solely on the symptoms you listed, then WE ALL ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC.


Yeah I don't think these symptoms are only related to schizophrenia, and I told him that, and he said "Well of course they aren't related to schizophrenia only, and I'm not saying you have it for sure, but it could be a possibility and we must make sure you don't develop if it it's the case"


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## hoot (Jun 17, 2010)

Yeah dude, I'm not a certified shrink but what you just described there looks like run-of-the-mill derealization and anxiety/depression, not "the beginning of schizophrenia". Sounds like your doctor is a hack that just wants to drug you up. Definately get a second opinion.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

hoot said:


> Yeah dude, I'm not a certified shrink but what you just described there looks like run-of-the-mill derealization and anxiety/depression, not "the beginning of schizophrenia". Sounds like your doctor is a hack that just wants to drug you up. Definately get a second opinion.


Sure looks like it just by looking at all the replies.. everyone seems to be against him









Well, I can't say the meds are making me feel bad, they are making me feel extremely relaxed, sleepy most of the time and sort of softly depersonalized in a good way, lets see what else happens.

As for getting a second oppinion really, I don't think so since this is one of the best as I've said before, so it's probably either him or none


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## S O L A R I S (Dec 24, 2009)

I'm sorry but your Psychiatrist is a dick for telling you this. You need to STOP seeing him immediately. He OBVIOUSLY does not know what DPDR is and he did not know what else to say or how to handle the situation. I dont care if he is the best doctor in Portugal, he cannot throw one off statements such as these.

The symptoms you mentioned are not schizophrenia, and trust my experience in this field, you show NON of the symptoms of any subtypes of schizophrenia at all.

My concern is that you are taking a cocktail of drugs that you do not need. Antipsychotics are no joke either.Please take a step back, get a second opinion, dont increase the dosage of any medication. The fact that he prescribed a combination of zyprexa and risperdal is odd to me, it seems totally un necessary!

This is your life, Psychiatrists can be AMAZING help, but what does not feel right, probably isnt. Trust your instinct.
P.S. Sorry about the big font and curses, I am just concerned about you


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

S O L A R I S said:


> I'm sorry but your Psychiatrist is a dick for telling you this. You need to STOP seeing him immediately. He OBVIOUSLY does not know what DPDR is and he did not know what else to say or how to handle the situation. I dont care if he is the best doctor in Portugal, he cannot throw one off statements such as these.
> 
> The symptoms you mentioned are not schizophrenia, and trust my experience in this field, you show NON of the symptoms of any subtypes of schizophrenia at all.
> 
> ...


Well this does worry me.. I also found it very weird that he jumped into such a serious conclusion with those symptoms I mentioned, but I trusted him because he seemed way more serious when he was telling me about the diagnosis. It's hard for me to stop medication because first, I mentioned it to my parents and they didn't agree with me, they said they wanted to see me feeling good again and that I needed to follow what he says, and second those horrifying existential thoughts kinda just left my head, even though I have to handle this laziness feeling I got because of the meds









I wonder what's going to happen now though, I was already feeling really lazy and sleepy because of the meds I took yesterday before bed, now I took them again and I do hope I don't feel even more tired


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## hoot (Jun 17, 2010)

Here's what Wikipedia says about the drugs.



> *Zyprexa AKA Olanzapine*
> 
> As with all neuroleptic drugs, olanzapine can cause tardive dyskinesia and rare, but life-threatening, neuroleptic malignant syndrome.
> 
> ...





> *Risperdal AKA Risperidone*
> 
> Risperidone has been associated with weight gain.[9] Other common side effects include akathisia, sedation, dysphoria, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, low blood pressure, high blood pressure, muscle stiffness, muscle pain, tremors, increased salivation, constipation, and stuffy nose.
> 
> ...


Maybe show this to your parents? Basically you have two drugs that increase your chances of developing diabetes, along with other health issues. Not saying you should or shouldn't take them, maybe they will help, if you really do have schizophrenia or bipolar or something. See how they affect you, then weigh the benefits and risks, make a decision.


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2010)

I agree again with everyone here. I personally, without knowing you at all, would not be on those meds. They can affect further diagnosis by another doctor. I go to Widipedia for this stuff as a medical page gets so complicated. I don't think anything you've described comes near a Dx of schizophrenia. And again, I'm going to say, individuals with schizoprhenia are not "schizos", there are such individuals on this board, and there are many high functioning schizoprhenics. My college boyfriend has schizophrenia, and at 49 is still fighting it. Has been everything from a computer engineer to homeless. Then he picks himself up again. And he is really exhausted. He also describes his bad times as being like the film "Memento" -- backwards, jumbled, out of sequence, making no sense.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia

"Schizophrenia is diagnosed on the basis of symptom profiles. Neural correlates do not provide sufficiently useful criteria.[20] Diagnosis is based on the self-reported experiences of the person, and abnormalities in behavior reported by family members, friends or co-workers, followed by a clinical assessment by a psychiatrist, social worker, clinical psychologist or other mental health professional. Psychiatric assessment includes a psychiatric history and some form of mental status examination.[citation needed]

[edit]*Standardized criteria*
The most widely used standardized criteria for diagnosing schizophrenia come from the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, version DSM-IV-TR, and the World Health Organization's International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, the ICD-10. The latter criteria are typically used in European countries, while the DSM criteria are used in the United States and the rest of the world, as well as prevailing in research studies. The ICD-10 criteria put more emphasis on Schneiderian first-rank symptoms, although, in practice, agreement between the two systems is high.[21]
According to the revised fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, three diagnostic criteria must be met:[5]

*Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).*

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech, which is a manifestation of formal thought disorder

Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior

Negative symptoms: Blunted affect (lack or decline in emotional response), alogia (lack or decline in speech), or avolition (lack or decline in motivation)

*If the delusions are judged to be bizarre, or hallucinations consist of hearing one voice participating in a running commentary of the patient's actions or of hearing two or more voices conversing with each other, only that symptom is required above. The speech disorganization criterion is only met if it is severe enough to substantially impair communication.*

Social/occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset.

*Duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms* (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
-------------------------------------
Differential Diagnoses:
If signs of disturbance are present for more than a month but less than six months, the diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder is applied.[5] Psychotic symptoms lasting less than a month may be diagnosed as brief psychotic disorder, and various conditions may be classed as psychotic disorder not otherwise specified. Schizophrenia cannot be diagnosed if symptoms of mood disorder are substantially present (although schizoaffective disorder could be diagnosed), or if symptoms of pervasive developmental disorder are present unless prominent delusions or hallucinations are also present, or if the symptoms are the direct physiological result of a general medical condition or a substance, such as abuse of a drug or medication."

Granted, none of us here have ever met you. None of us here are doctors. But your diagnosis sounds WAY off -- also a "beeping sound" in your ear could be TINNITUS (a hearing problem). You would HEAR voices, TALKING to each other or TALKING TO YOU AND SCARING YOU AND TELLING YOU TO DO STRANGE THINGS.
Please seek another opinion. And yes, anti-psychotic medication has many risks. If a person is schizophrenic they can help A LOT, but that is the risk/benefit.


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2010)

It would seem to me, the doctor heard you say, "My mind is chattering away, thoughts RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD." and RAN with that straight to "hearing voices" which as noted above would be an immediate diagnosis. No, I don't believe it. And I have seen prodromal schizophrenia ... in my college boyfriend. VERY dramatic social withdrawal, starting to think illogically, identifying himself with the Jews being persecuted in the Holocaust .. he is NOT Jewish. Becoming obsessed with strange things -- someone plotting against him. Etc. On and on and on. COGNITIVE, COMMUNICATION problems, etc.

Edit, my former boyfriend, whom I get in contact with infrequently, but we really loved each other, he has an obsession with the Jews and the Holocaust. He is of German ancestry and has some completely illogical guilt about it. Last I spoke with him he claimed his disability checks were being stolen and he had reported this to the FBI. He was moving to Australia.... oh endless. He also started crying. I was so, so sad for him, because when he is well, he is brilliant and gifted and has worked and been praised for his work.


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2010)

PS. See the film "The Soloist" -- one of the best portrayals of schizophrenia I've seen come out of Hollywood. Hate to say but "Beautiful Mind" is CRAP compared to The Soloist. The character is based on a real man who was written about by Steve Lopez of the L.A. Times. If you watch that film ... everyone here should watch it, you will KNOW you don't have schizophrenia, or you'll understand more what it is.






Please watch this movie trailer, and see the movie. It's on DVD now. Very moving and no squishy happy ending either.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

My doctor didn't say I had schizophrenia though, he said I could be developing it, because the symptoms are similar to prodromal schizophrenia


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2010)

ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Found this quickly, edited it quickly. Prodromal Schizophrenia .....
As I said, I saw my boyfriend's prodromal schizoprhenia ... also, HIS MOTHER had schizophrenia ... is there a history in your family? Did this doctor TAKE a family history. Also my former boyfriend knows what a panic attack is and anxiety, but no clue what I mean when I describe DP/DR.

http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/76/3075/early-phase/

Early detection of schizophrenia is often very difficult before a person starts actively hallucinating or exhibiting bizarre behavior......

The prodrome phase usually occurs one to two years before the onset of psychotic symptoms (ex: hallucinations, paranoid delusions) in schizophrenia. The symptoms people usually have during this time aren't very specific. Usually people report symptoms of anxiety, social isolation, *difficulty making choices, and problems with concentration and attention.* It is late in the prodromal phase that the positive symptoms of schizophrenia begin to emerge. 

*Three kinds of prodromal subgroups have been described. First, the attenuated positive symptom syndrome (APSS) features problems with communication, perception, and unusual thoughts that don't rise to the level of psychosis. These symptoms have to occur at least once weekly for at least one month and become progressively worse over the course of a year.

Brief intermittent psychotic syndrome (BIPS) is another prodrome subgroup in which, in addition to problems with communication and perception, the person also experiences intermittent psychotic thoughts. The person experiences bizarre beliefs or hallucinations for a few minutes daily for at least one month, and for no more than three months.

The last prodromal subgroup is the so called 'genetic risk plus functional deterioration' group (G/D). These people are not currently psychotic but have been previously diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder or they have a parent, sibling, or child that has been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder. They are considered part of this subgroup if in the past year they have had substantial declines in work, school, relationships, or general functionality in daily life.*

Many times people see a doctor during the prodrome phase because of some of these disturbing symptoms. The problem is that these symptoms exist in many psychiatric and medical conditions. The situation can be confusing for both patients and doctors. Many people with schizophrenia are diagnosed with something else during the prodrome phase. Social withdrawal, unusual behavior, and frequent reprimands or absences from work and school are all red flags that may signify the beginning of schizophrenia. If you have any of the symptoms described here, it's important to talk to a physician about them, particularly if you have a family member with schizophrenia or another major psychiatric disorder. "

OK, I've said my piece, LOL. PLEASE see another doctor.[/font]


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

"Usually people report symptoms of anxiety, social isolation, difficulty making choices, and problems with concentration and attention" Oh crap.


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

PositiveThinking! said:


> I don't really want to look at the symptoms of schizophrenia because I might get anxious, I'll just list my symptoms here
> 
> -Feeling Unreal
> -Constant horryfying existential thoughts/questions
> ...


Well, that all sounds like DP/DR anxiety depression - I guess it is up to the pros to work out which name to tag on it. I wouldn't put much trust in your current guys diagnostic prowess though.

If you've started on those meds just be sure not to stop taking them suddenly. If/when you decide to come off them this has to be done very gradually, ideally with a pro overseeing it. Withdrawal reactions can be nasty but you'll be fine as long as you don't go cold turkey.

Meanwhile though - glad you're feeling better. Zyprexa didn't do any good for me but it sure mallowed me out (and made me hungry). I hadn't slept properly in months and suddenly I'd fall asleep standing up. Drive safely and be careful if you ever have alcohol because wooohooo you got another thing coming..


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

pancake said:


> Meanwhile though - glad you're feeling better. Zyprexa didn't do any good for me but it sure mallowed me out (and made me hungry). I hadn't slept properly in months and suddenly I'd fall asleep standing up. Drive safely and be careful if you ever have alcohol because wooohooo you got another thing coming..


Thats the good part, I kept skipping meals and if I didnt I didnt eat much, and I didnt sleep properly for like 9 months, now Im constantly hungry and sleepy


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Thats the good part, I kept skipping meals and if I didnt I didnt eat much, and I didnt sleep properly for like 9 months, now Im constantly hungry and sleepy


Just be sure that is not the only benefit you are getting. There are less potent medications to sort out those issues. Right, I promise to shut up now.







The whole situation just reminds me of my own experience with psychiatrists and meds when I was 16.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

pancake said:


> Just be sure that is not the only benefit you are getting. There are less potent medications to sort out those issues. Right, I promise to shut up now.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This reminds me of my thousand friend fights I had during my life.. and then having to choose a side lol

Im saying this because he says I better take it, my parents listen and say the same, and you guys advise me not to take it because its too strong.. I obviously believe what you all say, but I feel like I must take them else my parents and the psychiatrist will tell me I dont want to recover, and that I wanna go crazy or something.. then I also have to admit, the side effects have been good so far


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## SnakeyMLT (Jun 25, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> This reminds me of my thousand friend fights I had during my life.. and then having to choose a side lol
> 
> Im saying this because he says I better take it, my parents listen and say the same, and you guys advise me not to take it because its too strong.. I obviously believe what you all say, but I feel like I must take them else my parents and the psychiatrist will tell me I dont want to recover, and that I wanna go crazy or something.. then I also have to admit, the side effects have been good so far


i went to a psychiatrist once, and gave me risperidone. they made me feel like i'm Sedated and very tired, so i didn't visit the doc anymore and stopped taking those meds, i felt normal again but still with DP. they absolutely did not help. fyi, i took them for 2 weeks, with no positive effects AGAINST dp, but feeling SUPER-Relaxed is kinda Awesome


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

SnakeyMLT said:


> i went to a psychiatrist once, and gave me risperidone. they made me feel like i'm Sedated and very tired, so i didn't visit the doc anymore and stopped taking those meds, i felt normal again but still with DP. they absolutely did not help. fyi, i took them for 2 weeks, with no positive effects AGAINST dp, but feeling SUPER-Relaxed is kinda Awesome


Haha thats true lol

Well, Zyprexa and Risperidone dont seem to make me feel that tired anymore, they make me feel really numb, its really weird to walk, but Diazepam on the other hand makes me uber relaxed and feeling good.. Diazepam as far as I know is way weaker than those 2, I wonder why the effect is stronger


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## razer777 (Jun 28, 2010)

What do you mean by hearing 'beeps'
I read some of these prodromal symptoms and it got me really scared
I experience most of those things except the only paranoia i have is paranoia that my anxiety will develop into schizophrenia. Also, to my knowledge, i never see or hear things that aren't there (althought I constantly get freaked out that i am hallucinating thing!)

An example is last night I was at my computer browsing the internet, trying to take my mind off the anxiety when I heard a rustling in the bathroom. This freaked me out and I looked in there for any sign of anything that could cause the sound. When I couldn't find anything it freaked me out even more! But I went back to my computer and continued browsing the internet when a minute or two later i heard the sound again. I went in the bathroom, freaking out that I was hallucinating sounds when I found the source of the sound, a cricket in the trashcan crawling around. I felt somewhat relieved that it was just a bug but took a picture of him on my phone just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating the bug too.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

razer777 said:


> What do you mean by hearing 'beeps'
> I read some of these prodromal symptoms and it got me really scared
> I experience most of those things except the only paranoia i have is paranoia that my anxiety will develop into schizophrenia. Also, to my knowledge, i never see or hear things that aren't there (althought I constantly get freaked out that i am hallucinating thing!)
> 
> An example is last night I was at my computer browsing the internet, trying to take my mind off the anxiety when I heard a rustling in the bathroom. This freaked me out and I looked in there for any sign of anything that could cause the sound. When I couldn't find anything it freaked me out even more! But I went back to my computer and continued browsing the internet when a minute or two later i heard the sound again. I went in the bathroom, freaking out that I was hallucinating sounds when I found the source of the sound, a cricket in the trashcan crawling around. I felt somewhat relieved that it was just a bug but took a picture of him on my phone just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating the bug too.


Well, you know when you put your mobile charging, the charger makes sort of a weird sound, like a 'beep' really low though, that's what I hear sometimes


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)

I have tinnitus on both ears. Sometimes it is tough but meh.


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

undiagnosed for 10 yrs. then diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, briquet's hysteria (lol) then schizoeffective then DP. I believe i have dp. hearing that you have schizophrenia can really crush you...


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## razer777 (Jun 28, 2010)

How have the meds helped so far?


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

razer777 said:


> How have the meds helped so far?


Who are you referring to?


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## university girl (Aug 11, 2004)

BTW, I take seroquel, an antipsychotic. My psych at the time prescribed it because she believed I had schizophrenia. I was reluctant to try it because of what i had heard about antipsychotics BUT I am so happy i tried it and stuck with it. For about a month i was totally off. But eventually the annoying cognitive side effects went away and I improved. I did try risperidone but the cognitive side effects did not go away. For some meds it takes a few months for the benefits to actually surface and for the side effects to go away.


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## razer777 (Jun 28, 2010)

Oh, I was talking about the original poster but thanks for sharing your experiences.
What symptoms did the anti-psychotic actually help with?


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## pancake (Nov 26, 2009)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Well, you know when you put your mobile charging, the charger makes sort of a weird sound, like a 'beep' really low though, that's what I hear sometimes


tinnitus? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinnitus


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

razer777 said:


> How have the meds helped so far?


I'm not sure if this is because of the meds, but my DP/DR/Anxiety levels have been high as hell lately, they don't seem to be helping me that much, lets see how it goes the next few days


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

pancake said:


> tinnitus? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinnitus


Oh and yeah that's the name for it


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## peacedove (Aug 15, 2004)

Oh man.. I've always been worried I have schizophrenia. I get that tinnitus, I also have the head chatter thing, it's my own voice, but apparently your doc didn't seem to think that mattered. My uncle has schizophrenia, I just found that out a year or so ago. However, if this is the prodromal stage of it I've been in it for 20+yrs without developing full-blown schizophrenia. I read though that women usually get it in their mid to late twenties and I'm 28 so I'm still worried. I wonder if I'll stop worrying when I reach 30... unlikely.


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## DiscoStick (Dec 13, 2009)

Hah I thought you needed delusions, paranoia, psychosis etc. to be near schizophrenia. Anyway, hopefully the drugs will work.


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

Your psychiatrist is an idiot. I don't understand with who he needed to fuck to get certificate/diploma. 
What you describe is DP/DR and exactly what I feel. We are all schizophrenic here then. I was at many doctors and any doctor who knows anything about medicine knows that DR is not symptom of schizophrenia. All doctors, a few psychiatrists told me that it's nothing like schizophrenia. 
People with schizophrenia even don't know that something is wrong with them. They live in completely different world sometimes and see and hear things for which they believe are REAL. They are paranoid. They think that CIA spies on them. They think somebody is poisoning their food. They hear commands in their head. They think they are chosen by GOOOOOD. 
Most people develop schizophrenia before their 20's and it's MOST OF THE TIME connected with genetic. 
From what country you are? I can't believe that you have so stupid doctors. Even I know what are symptoms of schizophrenia and I don't have anything with medicine. 
That psychiatrist should be shot for scaring you and simply because HE IS A FUCKING RETARD!


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> First of all thanks for the replies.
> 
> Well, I asked him if he was 100% sure that it was a schizofrenia prodrome, and he said that he wasn't obviously, but it could be and it's better to play safe, and I agree with him there, so even if it's just DP, might as well just do a treatment for schizofrenia to prevent it I guess.. But it's always scary to hear something like this, you really don't wanna know how I felt when he said this..


DON'T TAKE MEDICINE FOR SCHIZOPHRENIA YOU BRAINLESS CHILD! 
LEAVE THAT MORON AS SOON AS YOU CAN! HE CAN DESTROY YOU WITH THOSE MEDICATIONS. 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH THIS MAKES ME SO MAD!

This world is filled with stupid fucks and I really can't stand that anymore. 
Save your self and say "bye bye" to that IDIOT. He can destroy you with medications for something that you don't have AND THAT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE!

ALSOOOOO... DP/DR CAN NEVER EVER lead to anything worse than DP/DR itslef! NEVER! FUCKING NEVEEEERRRRRR!


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

I learned so many English curses and insults in this forum. Thank you guys LOL


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## Guest (Jul 22, 2010)

EverDream said:


> I learned so many English curses and insults in this forum. Thank you guys LOL


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

Feel free to post some more English cursing here, I'd change the thread name if I could









But yeah not much more to discuss about the original post so feel free to do so


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

EverDream said:


> I learned so many English curses and insults in this forum. Thank you guys LOL


I am from Croatia, so my english sucks, but after reading this, I think that I will never say again that Croatian doctors are idiots. All doctors I met AT LEAST were helpful to some point and our medicine faculty is really heavy and people sometime study on it for more than 10 years.
But today, if you are scared, there are hundreds and hundreds of pages about EVERYTHING. Before any doctor, I find out that I have derealization. 
Reasons for this could be many, but IT'S NEVER schizophrenia OR ANY KIND OF ILLNESS that can get worse over time. 
It can be lyme disese, epilepsy, drug induced, thyroid hormones, pancreas, etc. but most of the time it's "only" because of stress, anxiety, trauma or some other non-progressive psychic/mental condition. 
It is NEVER schizophrenia. If it is DR/DP one of the symptoms of schizophrenia, it is only ONE OF MANY symptoms of schizophrenia that are never mentioned on this board by anyone (at least from what I read). 
We are all derealized and depersonalized and scared and everything is unreal and dream-like and existential thoughts bother us AAAAAANNNDDDD ... it simply does not have anything with schizophrenia.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

nix said:


> I am from Croatia, so my english sucks, but after reading this, I think that I will never say again that Croatian doctors are idiots. All doctors I met AT LEAST were helpful to some point and our medicine faculty is really heavy and people sometime study on it for more than 10 years.
> But today, if you are scared, there are hundreds and hundreds of pages about EVERYTHING. Before any doctor, I find out that I have derealization.
> Reasons for this could be many, but IT'S NEVER schizophrenia OR ANY KIND OF ILLNESS that can get worse over time.
> It can be lyme disese, epilepsy, drug induced, thyroid hormones, pancreas, etc. but most of the time it's "only" because of stress, anxiety, trauma or some other non-progressive psychic/mental condition.
> ...


By the way, don't get me wrong, I didn't reply to your post because I'm kinda freaked out of the meds, I don't wanna be any more than I already am. I do know that my psychiatrist might be sort of crazy to put me on these out of nothing, my therapist says the same but I'll talk to him about it in our next appointment and see what can be done, maybe he got it wrong somehow..


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## EverDream (Dec 15, 2006)

nix said:


> I am from Croatia, so my english sucks, but after reading this, I think that I will never say again that Croatian doctors are idiots. All doctors I met AT LEAST were helpful to some point and our medicine faculty is really heavy and people sometime study on it for more than 10 years.
> But today, if you are scared, there are hundreds and hundreds of pages about EVERYTHING. Before any doctor, I find out that I have derealization.
> Reasons for this could be many, but IT'S NEVER schizophrenia OR ANY KIND OF ILLNESS that can get worse over time.
> It can be lyme disese, epilepsy, drug induced, thyroid hormones, pancreas, etc. but most of the time it's "only" because of stress, anxiety, trauma or some other non-progressive psychic/mental condition.
> ...


Yeah, I understand your anger. I met some morons like that myself.
I thought you are from the us! Your English is very good. Anyway, it's not only this post. Lately I read here a lot of curses, that's funny..


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

EverDream said:


> Yeah, I understand your anger. I met some morons like that myself.
> I thought you are from the us! Your English is very good. Anyway, it's not only this post. Lately I read here a lot of curses, that's funny..


Might be because everyone's getting pissed off of having to live their lives with this fucking crap everyday


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> By the way, don't get me wrong, I didn't reply to your post because I'm kinda freaked out of the meds, I don't wanna be any more than I already am. I do know that my psychiatrist might be sort of crazy to put me on these out of nothing, my therapist says the same but I'll talk to him about it in our next appointment and see what can be done, maybe he got it wrong somehow..


Every psychiatrist should at least know what schizophrenia IS and what it IS NOT! It's something they must learn before anything else.
Please, leave him and save yourself. Don't take any drugs for schizophrenia, because it can make your condition even worse. I've heard that some anti-psychotics can make people with DP/DR even to feel much better, but I also heard that from some anti-pschotics condition to some people became MUCH worse, so they never tried that medications again. 
What you need is smart and experienced psychiatrist. This one is not for you. If he doesn't know some basic things about DP/DR and schizophrenia, you simply don't need him then. He can't help you.


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## nix (Feb 27, 2010)

PositiveThinking! said:


> Might be because everyone's getting pissed off of having to live their lives with this fucking crap everyday


Well... yeah.. that could be one of the reasons


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## voidvoid (Sep 5, 2008)




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## razer777 (Jun 28, 2010)

keep us updated on how you're feeling and how those meds are treating you, PositiveThinking


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## Hoopesy (Dec 8, 2009)

You don't have schizophrenia. YOU do NOT have SCHIZOPHRENIA!!

Hearing that must have done wonders for your DP im sure. But you have to think from the doctors perspective. Hearing all the things that someone going through DP has could easily be mistaken for the beginnings of schizophrenia. If you are still in complete contact with reality then you don't have schizophrenia. As for the beeps? Probably just a tad bit of paranoia. I "hear" stuff like that sometimes too, but it's nothing. I wouldn't worry about it. I know it was a doctor and all but mental illness is a very hard thing to figure out because there are no physical signs.


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## PositiveThinking! (Mar 5, 2010)

razer777 said:


> You don't have schizophrenia. YOU do NOT have SCHIZOPHRENIA!!
> 
> Hearing that must have done wonders for your DP im sure. But you have to think from the doctors perspective. Hearing all the things that someone going through DP has could easily be mistaken for the beginnings of schizophrenia. If you are still in complete contact with reality then you don't have schizophrenia. As for the beeps? Probably just a tad bit of paranoia. I "hear" stuff like that sometimes too, but it's nothing. I wouldn't worry about it. I know it was a doctor and all but mental illness is a very hard thing to figure out because there are no physical signs.


Yeah I'm going to try and get things straight on our next appointment, even though I did mention depersonalization before, he didn't seem to care but I'll see what I can do


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