# feeling so alone with this, can anyone relate?



## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

Seems like i once again got me in a situation when the dp is quite weak but still my visual issues seems to take hold of my attention, i have heard many times that dpdr causes visual issues sometimes but still mine seems more extreme than many others, i started noticing all these symptoms the day after my panic attack and to be honest i am quite scared and i am not sure what i should be doing to combat all this.

My symptoms

-ghosting (kind of like double vision but more like a transparent copy over or under the original object) i see this mostly in light colored objects or lights

- static

- floaters

- lights look brighter than usual and i sometimes see starbursts during nightime from car headlights

- weird spacy feeling

- ''blurry'' vision

can dpdr cause distortions like this? i cannot stand lights at all and they trigger the unreal feeling that worsens my symptoms i worry about them all the time and the symptoms are very apparent at nightime, i constantly worry i have some kind of neurological disease and i feel so alone with this, in the beginning i was so sure i had dpdr, the onset was classic but now i guess i am at a standstill because of the visual stuff, they all seem to get worse by stress and anxiety.

I have asked around a lot about this and even been ''harassing'' many members of these forums about my issues witch i now realize isn't the correct way to do things here considering we are all fighting here but still i feel so alone with all this and wondering if anyone can relate with me?

sorry for the pathetic cry for help but i just feel so hopeless about all this even though i am at month 10 since this started and i know that many here has fought this for years


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

I assume our eyes do lots of things that go unreported, because they are not problematic enough to be considered disorders. I think someone with anomalies, or whatever, in their vision could still be totally healthy.

I went temporarily six years ago, and there is no doctor smart and/or motivated enough to take a guess at why that may have happened, since it was such along time ago. Imagine how upset I could get myself over this. Maybe it's just better in my case to not worry about it.

Anyway, the short answer is yes. DPDR can cause you to notice minor changes in your visual field, or in other kinds of perception. You said that your DPDR is improved, but that your anxiety is not? I would try to get the anxiety managed, so that there is no backsliding into old symptoms again. Of course having some symptoms return would be alright, everything would be fine, but you sound frustrated and like you want to get past this whole ordeal.

What it sounds like you're describing is anxiety, panic attacks, generalized anxiety, self-checking for security, and some derealization. Does that sound right?


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

Yeah i guess so, my onset was also quite clearly induced by a period of really extreme health anxiety but still the symptoms are so real and i do have a history of drug use but still i worry that this is something more serious


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## Ezio (Nov 24, 2015)

I have the same issues brother


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

well at least it's good to know that that its a possibility at least to be dpdr related, the visual part is just the one i notice easiest especially at nighttime when all the lights just look weird somehow and i see a double image of the light below it, frggin suck and i guess the worry comes from thinking i will never be normal again.


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## Surfer Rosa (Nov 27, 2015)

Absolutely. The anxiety feeds into the dissociation, and sometimes vice-versa. Very scary stuff. Lights being seeming "weird" or different is typical of being dissociated. We all feel you on the lighting, including natural lights like the sun and moon. Fluorescent lights really get me.

We're all working towards recovery, Marduk. You'll get through this.


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## Sportsdude8 (Apr 25, 2015)

Hey Marduk try sunglasses. They help me out with my visual distortions


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

Thank you for your answers, sunglasses do help a bit should start using them more often


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## marduk (Mar 4, 2015)

i guess it's frusrtating when i feel better the depersonalization is mostly gone but the dr and the distortions seems to be sticking around


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