# DP/DR VISION



## Nichole (Feb 22, 2011)

*VISION DISTURBANCES*​
*A Word that BEST describes your Vision Disturbances Associated with DP/DR?*

Tunnel Vision00.00%Flatness27.69%3D00.00%Vivid00.00%Distorted00.00%Fuzzy311.54%Staticy27.69%Dark27.69%Fishbowl13.85%Eerie00.00%Confusing00.00%Distant519.23%A COMBINATION OF THE ABOVE1038.46%Some Other word not listed13.85%


----------



## Nichole (Feb 22, 2011)

My personal experiences:

It could compare to being high on Cocaine... or the Euphoric effect from Extasy. (Experimented with drugs when younger)

Shadows seems darker and flatter... somewhat 3D..... I am thinking this is because everything seems so Flat that it makes them pop and look strange. They appear to stand out much more.

Artificial lights such as one from a Cellphone or an Oven seem to be so much brighter and enhanced/Sharpened almost like someone photoshopped the shit out of my vision. It almost has a sparkley/Shimmery effect to it.

Everything seems so much more vivid and brighter... but yet at the same time everything is so much more distant and DARKER....... Eerie like. Tunnel vision.........

I don't hallucinate... which is how Psychosis, Delerium, Schizophrenia has been ruled out........ It seems my perception is "OFF"

I started Seroquel 25mg @ Night... Lastnight was my second night.. Not really sure how much of an effect it will have on me or my symptoms... but I guess only time will tell. I take .5mg of Ativan/Lorazepam in the morning and in the evening... a total of 1mg a day.

I did some research into Disassociate Disorders... which is somewhat connected to Depersonalization as well as Acute Stress Disorder... Panic Disorder (I am diagnosed Panic Disorder) and the only REAL treatment noted is Psychotherapy as well as Creative Art Therapy... Cognitive Therapy and Medication wise Anti-Anxiety meds as well as Anti-depressants........

Please tell me I am not crazy......... I know feeling crazy is part of the symptom of panic disorder as well as this strange feeling that I have been hit with RANDOMLY......... Literally overnight I changed............. Not sure if it was from a Panic attack on a Tuesday or if it was from an Overdose Adverse Reaction to Wellbutrin XR on the following Friday (Which I later find out I had experienced the bad reaction due to being MILDLY bipolar... I was on 150mg for a week and my GP upped it to 300mg on the 8th day, which apparently is the normal thing... Seems a bit drastic to me though, and now I am suffering) .......... Either way I have what I have. And it doesn't seem to want to leave me.

Has anyone else noticed it seems like the right side of their head feels less active than their left side?? Strange question... but I somehow believe it has relevence


----------



## Tree_of_Life2001 (Jan 6, 2011)

Wow.....thats not a dumb question at all because I feel the same thing in reference to my right side. Sorry that what you are going through is a result of medicine.


----------



## Nichole (Feb 22, 2011)

Tree_of_Life2001 said:


> Wow.....thats not a dumb question at all because I feel the same thing in reference to my right side. Sorry that what you are going through is a result of medicine.


Well, My Psychiatrist doesn't believe that it is a result to the Wellbutrin............He thinks It's from when I had a panic attack a few days before when I had a major bleeding incident which brought me back to when I gave birth to my daughter in which I died and was revived from hemmoraging... he thinks I convinced myself I was going to die again, resulting in a panic attack...... which he could be right cause I didnt feel the same after that. Even leaving the hospital I remember saying I dont feel right... I am thinking that is when it all began... but the Wellbutrin reaction most likely ENHANCED the depersonalization making me feel like I was going Psychotic/Crazy.......... It was hell.. I couldn't sleep, Eat, or Function well...... I was scared to death that I was going to die in my sleep. Once they started giving me Ativan and Sleeping Pills it was almost as If I was fine..... Except for the Depersonalization.. Which is why my Psychiatrist diagnosed me with Panic Disorder.

BUT ---- I do believe the Wellbutrin had a major contribution to Psychological Damages............. It scares me... Makes me wonder if I will ever be "okay" again, As the warnings and precautions say it can be PERMANENT Psychological Damage...... Lets pray it was from a Panic Attack and that I will be on the road to recovery... I can only try to stay positive and fight these Suicidal thoughts... I am not one to be suicidal or think so selfish.... but how does one live with such a burden ??????


----------



## gill (Jul 1, 2010)

> brighter and enhanced/Sharpened almost like someone photoshopped the shit out of my vision. It almost has a sparkley/Shimmery effect to it.


I can relate to that. I always filed that under the hppd section though since I took psychedelics. More than shimmery though colors can seem like pastels. Maybe that's from the e.


----------



## ladybugz (Feb 6, 2011)

This is the 3rd time in the past 12 years that I've experienced dp/dr. I have all of the horrid visual distortions you mention. Dark, blurry, objects seem to wiggle, after images, trails, patterns seem to swirl, and more! This all started again for me about 3 weeks ago after a period of high stress in my life.

The first time it started 12 yrs ago it was found to be from a b-12 deficiency. It took 9 months of insomnia for me before a neurologist figured it out.

The second time it happened during a high stressful period. Some how after about 4 yrs it resolved itself.

I honestly feel as if I'm losing my mind. I can't drive, can't work. I try to get out now and again with my husband who is blind in one eye. Thank God he can drive at least.

I find it hard to comprehend that if this is the brain's defence mechanism, why is it so scarey?
I get so upset about time lost when in this "nightmare"...I see so many people say dreamy state, but it truly is nightmarish!

I'm sorry that you all suffer this horible disorder and I pray in time you will all be healed and that God will bless you and give you the strenght to carry on......


----------



## Nichole (Feb 22, 2011)

ladybugz said:


> I find it hard to comprehend that if this is the brain's defence mechanism, why is it so scarey?
> I get so upset about time lost when in this "nightmare"...I see so many people say dreamy state, but it truly is nightmarish!


Gosh are you ever RIGHT.

UPDATE for Me::::: I just had an appointment at the University of Alberta Hospital............ (Canada) With some of the top Psychiatrists in the province working there.... I had been re-evaluated and GUESS WHAT!!!! Sent home telling me I am 100% fine.... That i have Panic Disorder and that the depersonalization is NOT from Wellbutrin... that it may have been enhanced by it and that I am in a circle of stress and once I get some Theraputic counselling or see a Psych' I will get better............ He also mentioned TIME is all I need and an Anti-Anxiety medication (such as the Ativan/Lorazepam) although highly addictive........... IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!

I would never suggest medication but I know if it weren't for the Ativan right now I would be crawling up the walls feeling like I am going Madly Insane...

And also --- He did Mention the DEPERSONALIZATION IS INFACT your brain telling you that you've had enough......... Hard to believe that is the case.


----------



## sunyata samsara (Feb 18, 2011)

I only have mild DR sometimes. It makes things fuzzy, dream like, it looks beautiful and makes me smile.


----------



## Surfingisfun001 (Sep 25, 2007)

sunyata samsara said:


> I only have mild DR sometimes. It makes things fuzzy, dream like, it looks beautiful and makes me smile.


Reminds me of getting arrested and living in amazing conditions with such wonderful company. Fearing getting raped in the ass was the best part. I really miss those times.


----------



## Visual (Oct 13, 2010)

sunyata samsara said:


> I only have mild DR sometimes. It makes things fuzzy, dream like, it looks beautiful and makes me smile.


You are about the only one who seems to enjoy this stuff







. Not suffering negative symptoms (or at least not letting them make you feel negative).

There are some features about my visual symptoms that are actually nice, such as color and depth which are so rich that it is beautiful, like an IMAX movie. But the overall package is a disaster







(like the above prison illustration). There is pain, confusion, frustration, fatigue, etc. I have learned to 'accomidate' well and not let it get me down - but it is still a major factor in life. One cannot just ignore what they see or not and walk into walls, ...

Do you think you just don't have much negative problems (as you said, "mild")? Or do you think it is how you view them?


----------



## Nichole (Feb 22, 2011)

Visual Dude said:


> You are about the only one who seems to enjoy this stuff
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I explained how my vision sometimes seems brighter and more vivid like an enhanced/sharpened photoshopped image and my fiance said that sounded beautiful and i should be grateful.......... To me it feels like Hell. What I see doesn't scare me, its how I feel that scares me. Or how I think about what I felt like a month ago (semi-normal) and realise how everything has changed overnight and now nothing is the same that scares me.


----------

