# This is my story please help



## Ngutrust38 (Sep 2, 2020)

I started smoking cannabis at age of 15, it was fun at the start until I got some laced cannabis which i believed contained spice or k2, short story I smoked it and had the worst experience off my life, I felt very slow and delayed, paranoia was at the highest, I felt like I just had my eyes balls and my legs were moving by itself, I had the urge to collapse and lay on the floor and thought I was gonna die, I cried myself to sleep wishing it will go away and that I won’t smoke again in my life. Once I woke up I noticed I felt weird and detached from my body, I would look at my hand and it just felt weird, when walking I felt lightheaded and it was like I was watching myself and not really there. When moving i noticed I had motion blur and when leaving my house I would look at cars and I couldn’t focus on the car and the movement would have motion blur I noticed this motion blur with all movement and also when looking through gaps it would be blurred. I felt like a was still high and had paranoia, everything felt fake and foggy also I felt zoomed out, I felt all these affects 24/7.It’s been 3 years and I still have these effects. Does anyone have intense motion blur when moving around and looking at movement? Any help or advice will be much appreciated.


----------



## pleaseIneedhelp (Aug 31, 2020)

yes, all sounds pretty common of depersonalisation. Its a living nightmare that just has you crawling in your own skin


----------



## butcheniho (Nov 26, 2014)

It gets so much better dude, I'm recovered now, I posted my recovery here if you want to check it out. Feel free to send me a message too you if you want to.


----------



## Thejuice (Sep 24, 2020)

Hey man I’ve had a similar experiences. I smoked weed for the second time and had a terrible trip. I felt out of my body and was completely terrified through the entire trip. Same as you I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up I could tell I was not the same. I kinda had the foggy vision you were talking about a couple months but it was it looked like smoke. Anyway, that was about 3 years ago and I have improved much since then. I am now able to go months without thinking about dp. I think what helped me the most was to realize that so many people have been through this and have fully recovered. They did so by not dreading about the depersonalization. I did things that would take my full attention so that I didn’t have time to think about my dp. After awhile, your mind starts to relax because it notices there’s nothing to be afraid. Just in case if you didn’t know, the whole point of dp is a defensive mechanism your brain does to protect you from harm, sort of a shock. So if you can get your mind to put down that wall protecting you from nothing, than you will make a complete recover and never come back. Please message me because I find it fascinating how similar our situation is.


----------



## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

I had epileptic seizures following my first cannabis intoxication. Decades later, I would read the following in a British Neurological Journal.

"The worst case scenario is when the post ictal psychosis segues into an affective disorder of recurrent major depression, or bipolar illness."

I was a worst case scenario. For 40 years, I suffered ocular migraines, focal temporal lobe seizures, and 4 episodes of major depression

which were epic struggles for surivial. Those were just the bigger symptoms. I would go sleepless for weeks, and lose over 30 lbs during

an episode of depression, which would last about 2 years each. One bad trip.


----------



## leminaseri (Jul 1, 2020)

forestx5 said:


> I had epileptic seizures following my first cannabis intoxication. Decades later, I would read the following in a British Neurological Journal.
> "The worst case scenario is when the post ictal psychosis segues into an affective disorder of recurrent major depression, or bipolar illness."
> I was a worst case scenario. For 40 years, I suffered ocular migraines, focal temporal lobe seizures, and 4 episodes of major depression
> which were epic struggles for surivial. Those were just the bigger symptoms. I would go sleepless for weeks, and lose over 30 lbs during
> an episode of depression, which would last about 2 years each. One bad trip.


if you would knew what your actual disease was, you think your path to recovery would be differently?


----------



## forestx5 (Aug 29, 2008)

Let's pretend I had been properly evaluated and diagnosed at age 17. If I had been given the ECT at age 17,

that brought my symptoms into remission at age 57, I might not have had to live a life of mental illness for 40 years.

I might not have had to endure 4 episodes of major depression which cost me two years of my life for each episode, and

horrible suffering. But, that is all "what if". I doubt I would be diagnosed correctly today. I found it easier to diagnose

myself, and have that diagnosis confirmed by medical authorities. If I had known my EEG results at age 17, I would

never have been allowed to serve in the military. I would have never been allowed to operate heavy machinery at a steel

mill. I might never have received the security clearance necessary to work on the US Star Wars Defense projects.

I would have been eligible for social security disability, and I could have lived a life withdrawn..


----------

