# Girlfriend makes me SO frustrated/angry/DPed



## KaiserKlayton (Jun 17, 2010)

Does anyone else experience this with a girlfriend/boyfriend? I am dating this girl (have been for about one year), and she is by far the biggest trigger for my DR/DP. Sometimes I wonder why I stay with her.

I'm so unfair to her. She's so compassionate towards me- she understands what I'm going through to the one millionth degree. She is always there for me. But in return, I just get frustrated with her, tell her I need her to stop talking- sometimes she'll be talking and I'll just have to cut her off because this anger feeling builds up so intensely inside of me. At times, every little things she does just bothers me so much. It's like we're unsuccessfully married or something and all of her quirks are just magnified so profoundly. I well aware that I do this because of something inside me- maybe something I don't like about myself, or frustration with my DP/DR. I know it's not her. I feel horrible and so guilty.

Yet when she's away, I do miss her a bit. But just a bit. It's like, I like the thought of her in theory, but when I actually have to interact with her, it's too much. She's THE biggest trigger for my anxiousness, DP, DR, what-have-you. I don't know what to do.

My DP was triggered by trauma- I saw many people die by a gunman and was not shot myself. I don't know if this could play into it. I just don't know, there's so many factors.

Should I not be with her? Should I keep on trying? This is the third relationship that's gone like this- I really am into a girl for about two weeks and then after that I feel like I have to start fleeing, like it's not working out.

Who can relate!!!?!?!

Thanks.


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## dc138 (Sep 19, 2010)

Hey man, don't have much time to reply so it'll be brief. Sorry to hear about the trauma, sounds like a horrific thing to go through, but be thankful you made it out alive, at least you have a chance to live your life.

As an outsider looking in, I would say that you will never be content in a relationship if this is the 3rd time it's happened and the problem lies in you. She sounds like a a good girl to have. Personally, I havn't shared a similar experience, quite the opposite infact. I don't know how long my recovery would have taken, if at all, if I didn't have the girlfriend that I do. I think if you spoke to a councillor who understands both anxiety and relationships they may be able to help you understand what it is within you that is causing these reactions, as I wouldn't say your reactions to these situations are either normal or healthy.

On the other hand, maybe for your recovery you need to be selfish and end the relationship and rebuild your life on your own but I guess that an be easier said than done and it can be hard without some emotional and loving support, and there's always the chance of when you get into your next relationship the same thing will happen all over again. You need to figure out how you want to approach it and try fix it, because you need to be happy my friend. Life's too short. Do some soul searching and see if this relationship is what you truely want, and if it is, then make the changes to allow it to work. Take care.


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## BlueTank (Jun 2, 2010)

Can relate

am now single


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## Deleted Account (Jul 26, 2010)

I can relate! there are times I want to divorce my husband and just leave the country. I feel like he deserves so much better than me, but at the same time I feel like I deserve better if that makes sense. In all honesty I think i'm better off alone or maybe that is the dp speaking. My biggest advice would be to take some time for yourself and focus on school and your band.


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## Minerva8979 (Jan 30, 2010)

It sounds like you feel so safe with her that youre allowing the negative emotions you feel to come out through her, if you will. I don't think this can't be solved. I think that maybe this can be a stepping stone through your healing process. She sounds like a good person. Does she even know how you react to her sometimes?


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