# The consciousness of the self



## daibrrs (Jan 28, 2018)

For starters, nice to meet you all. Since I've known myself I always felt this way. Something was wrong, I felt like living a life that wasn't mine. I always felt part of the Universe and when I looked on people I saw everything. I saw the process on their bodies, the air around us, the sounds, the color. Of course I had a difficult start in life and once I was old enough they diagnosed me with depression. Long time after that I had an trauma that gave me PTSD. So they jump to the conclusion that I suffer from despersonalization. I have to say that in the beginning everything terrified me, the heavyness of self consciousness would make me just want to watch and don't be a part of the world. Butonly when I reached enough age things are becoming clearer. I didn't went to spiritual retreats or nothing like it, I feel that I am just growing. This body is temporary. Everything we build and do is a way of escaping the fact that lt his existence is as temporary as a blink of an eye. We rook more than 12 million years to even create this planet. We are. not humans, we are.How old are you? 30, 23, doesn't matter because the truth is that we can't measure anything. Time, money, power, love, we try to put everything in a scale so desperately. Everything we see out there is just a guessing, rough guessing of what is really out there. How can we measure anything if we are just passing by? We are foreigners to this whole universe and the biggest proof is that people like me and maybe you suffer with 
"despersonalization". We are part of the universe and that is reason why people struggle with it."We" struggle because we know that is more than this and we not supposed. Is the Hamlet question. To be or not be. To live this temporary existence or to focus on researching and longing for what we will go back to once this box we call life opens, which we know is bigger than any mundane sensation.

This is not meant to be suicidal or disrespectful. I never took any drugs neither drunk alcohol. I never took any meds neither. I just wanted to put this out in the world.

Thank you so much.


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## Cosmic.loser (Jan 8, 2018)

Your absolutely right , beautifully said. The world always seems so normal when your on autopilot and don't have An unbearable hyper awareness no human should know. I have personally felt relatable to being an alien that came
To an unknown planet in an unknown dimension and had NO IDEA what I was looking at. Nothing could be explained. Nothing can be explained. Yes dp and dr is an illusion bc it's not what normal people see .. but we do see and realize one thing. The world, is the strangest . Most complex, thing in the whole galaxy. NOTHING is normal, and NOTHING makes sense. At all.


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## Lafeverjoshua (Feb 13, 2018)

I can totally relate to what you are saying. Consciousness can be a beautiful yet terrifying thing. I try to tell myself to find the beauty though.. Life is a very strange thing and we're told when we are young to be all these things/abstract ideas so that we can find meaning. Going to school, graduating, getting a job, meeting a wife, starting a family then retiring. Not to mention backrounds, religions and politics. Some people are able to live this life without even raising an eyebrow. They get so caught up in living their lives that they don't even fathom life itself. Honestly, I feel sorry for those people because they are so comfortably caught up in their own routine they don't see life for what it really is... strange, weird, unlikely, complicated, and meaningless. All I know is no one can ever live your life through your own existence and consciousness. You're responsible for making sense of what you find meaningful. I think that's somewhat of a beautiful thing in life.


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## Grindelwald (Jul 22, 2017)

Yeah this was pretty close to what created my DP. The fact that naive realism is not the true nature things scared me - how? How does the brain give rise to consciousness? Consciousness has no location, no physical properties at all. Even though my DP is 99.9% gone (not 100%), I still find that there is still absolutely no explanation for it and it seems impossible that science will ever find one. How does it work? It just doesn't make sense.


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