# How bad can it get???



## Kayyyynational7 (Dec 16, 2019)

Yesterday I had something's happen that were pretty scary. My sister n law jumped on me after we swapped words and she made some serious threats. At first I was in a state of shock when she grabbed my hair I literally blacked out I was still standing and got her off my hair but I don't remember her coming at me. It got pretty serious me fiance's family and her began to fight while I just walked away in a shocked state. She didn't hurt literally just pulled my hair but I was still in shock that it led to that.

I went to the room and cried out of disbelief but became super aware of every noise I heard. She came back and made some really bad threats to the family that were pretty scary I was in the room when I heard the threats and was shaking non stop out of fear. I had been up for 24 hours at this point and finally crashed. I've been waking up through the night out of fear and is fall back asleep but wake up again nervous.

I woke up fully and talked to my mother in law about my fear of what was going on and I started feeling blank. I came in my room and called a friend thinking it would help because I was once again scared and rocking back in forth anxious. I started feeling off and got off the phone and now I'm laying here numb physically and emotionally in disbelief over what happened and my whole body feel tense and like nothing is real including my self or that maybe I'm in a dream or somewhere else and not here

Can dpdr get to a dangerous point to where I'll need to be admitted??

Could this have flipped me into insanity or possible no return to myself???


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## Kayyyynational7 (Dec 16, 2019)

I'm in therapy once a week and see a doctor every thirty days I'm concerned that the past couple days I really just haven't care.

I was really scared to even walk out of my room and today I stayed out of bed all day which to most that's a good thing but it scared me for some reason. I woke up and I started deeo cleaning the entire house.I have this sense of just not giving a damn anymore I don't even really panic I just kinda feel here.

I think that maybe I've just accepted how I feel but I have concerns with my thoughts.I use to be terrified of death and I've gotten to a point where I don't even know if I believe in life or death or whether maybe I'm just living is some odd reality that I make up.

I still talk normal and do normal things but I'm concerned over the fact that I almost don't believe in death especially since i just lost my brother in law in october.


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